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Chapter 216
Liam
While the woman both head to the kitchen I quickly run upstairs for my tablet and to use the toilet quickly. I find Paul sitting at the dining table waiting for me on my return as I turn the tablet on and hook it up my my aunt’s WiFi. Paul types in the website and I find the registration document for the car that I put down safe the day before.
While we begin inputting all the information Megan and Cara pop through from the kitchen with coffee, one carrying the mugs and the other a tray filled with crisps, a filled roll each and some chocolate biscuits. I help myself while the ladies disappear next door to the lounge for a bit. I hear them talking but I’m busy answering Paul’s questions about my address in Ireland and wether the car will be kept in a garage or car park or on the street. Finally we seem to come to the end of the long stream of questions as Paul inputs a staff code and we wait on the quote loading.
“I really hope this helps Liam. It really is the least I could do for you mate. Your aunt Ella showed nothing but kindness to us. You know it feels really weird being here without her. How are you coping?”
It’s the first I’ve really been asked that as I look around the all too familiar dining room and out the patio doors into the small garden. ‘Weird’ is definitely a good way to describe it as I still expect my aunt to walk in any minute.
“I kind of feel like I don’t t belong here any more. I came here as an angry, confused teenage boy and my aunt saw me through the most troubled and difficult years of my life. Most people have their life sorted by the time they reach their early twenties. My twenties were just as traumatic as my teen years to tell you the truth. Running away to Ireland changed me. Now I’m back here with a full time job, a girlfriend and a baby and yet my aunt never got to live to see me finally settled and happy. You know I very nearly automatically went to bed in my old room last night. I guess I need to sort through all my old things too before I go back to Ireland.”
“So you only met Megan recently? And Yasmin? Is she not yours then? Sorry I had no idea. I just assumed..,”
“It’s fine. I met Megan just a few days after I arrived in Bangor. We actually met in a launderette of all places!”
“And she left you in a right spin I take it?”
“Ha ha. She most definitely did that for sure. I never even got her name or number but she left a huge impression on me.”
“But you clearly met her again though?”
“We did meet again another time, by complete accident though, in a library toilet! Crazy I know but that’s honestly how it happened.”
“Oh Liam, that’s hilarious. Did she leave you feeling flushed that time? Sorry dad jokes are as far as my humour extends these days. You got her number that time though?”
“Emm. No! I had to rush to get back to my work colleague but I was so mad at myself. I couldn’t stop thinking about her after that.”
“We’ll being as you’re together now I guess God gave you a third chance?”
“He did indeed. Though I almost blew that one too would you believe!”
“You’re kidding me?
“Nope. There was no denying it was a God thing that time too as I had some news that really upset me and stressed me and I had a panic attack. I had no idea where I was as I sat down at the side of an old building in a grave yard. Turns out it was Saint Mary’s chapel and Megan was inside praying and she came out and found me!”
“You so need to tell Cara all this. She’ll have goose bumps hearing this. That’s got God’s hand all over it that has. Was it the news about the police? Ella was so upset over all that and she called Cara and I to pray for her, but more for you as she was so worried about you all alone in Ireland coping with it all. Cara asked her a couple of weeks ago in church how you were doing and she said you had confessed everything to the police and she was so proud of you for that. Confessing like that takes real courage. Oh that’s the email arrived with the quote. You ready to have a look then?”
“I really hope I can do this. How much easier would it be to get everything in the car to get back over? Go on then what am I looking at?”
Paul has the tablet in front of him hiding the figures from me.
“There’s two choices, as I said. I always recommend fully comprehensive cover but I totally understand that might be out your budget right now and you can upgrade at anytime of course. So for basic third party, fire and theft for the miles you quoted and keeping the car outside on the road, with my staff discount you’re looking at £195.27.”
“Wow.”
“Fully comp is double that roughly. You can pay it over the year if it’s any easier.”
“Oh. So how much would I need to pay right now?”
“First instalment is two months roughly so £32.55”
Can I check I have that available?”
“Of course.”
I pull my phone out my back pocket, turning it on for the first time since I got up, and I check my credit card online to see if I have any available funds. I’ve only had one wage so far and that was only for part time hours and my rent is due again at the end of the month too. While I know my aunt has left me her estate in her will I’m wise enough to know this won’t be an instant cure for my current dire finances. For now though, as long as I pay in again before the end of the month, a transaction of just over £30 should go through ok. I nod to Paul as he passes me the tablet to complete the payment details as I wait nervously to check it goes through.
It does and suddenly I receive an email confirming I am insured to drive my aunt’s car and I shake Paul’s hand enthusiastically.
“Thank you. I really appreciate your help.”
“Don’t forget you need to tax it too before you can drive it. If you take the slip from the registration document you can do that at the post office or if it’s easier you can do it online too. Will we go tell the girls the good news then?”
I can’t wait to tell Megan as I get off the dining seat and walk behind the chair. I turn round to walk through to the living room when Paul stands up too, immediately putting a hand inside his trouser pocket.
“Would it be ok if I just used the toilet first?”
“Of course. I assume you know where it is?”
As he heads upstairs I look over to check the babies are still sleeping before heading to the door of the living room which has been left open. Waiting for Paul to come back down I glance into the living room at the two woman without either of them realising I am there. The two girls are engrossed in conversation, laughing and chatting, both on the same couch under the window, the empty mugs and plates sitting on the bottom of the fireplace as my eyes return to the young women as I instantly feel my penis grow.
It doesn’t take Einstein to notice that despite the smiles and laughter both woman appear to be restless, tense and struggling. I have a very strong suspicion that Paul isn’t the only one in the house who really needs to use the bathroom right now as my body twitches and gets excited that the only way either of them can go pee is to walk right past me through the dining room and upstairs. The thought that one, or both of them, have possibly been desperate the entire time Paul and I have been sorting insurance out turns me on so much as I turn my body to the side in case Paul returns and catches my erection.
As nervous as I am about trying to hide my own body I just can’t take my eyes of the women, one of who is sitting with both legs in front perched sideways subtly squirming and the other who is sitting right back on the couch with a hand between her tightly crossed legs, her face flushed and her top leg swinging tensely. |
Chapter 217
Megan
Cara places the tray on the dining table for the men as she picks up two biscuits and carries them through to the living room. I look around for any coffee tables but don’t see any as I head to the couch under the window and sit on the edge as I carefully hand Cara her drink. I wish I could safely sit my tea somewhere so I can run to the toilet but I’m too afraid to spill it on the lovely carpet. I hold it in my hands and sip at it thinking that once I’m about three quarters to half way through it I’ll just have to risk sitting it down and go to the toilet because I’m already bursting!
“Will Yasmin be ok in the car seat?”
“Just this once, yeah. It’s very unusual for her to be in it actually as back home she’s very rarely in the car. I actually only got that buggy on Friday. That was quite a story actually.”
I share with my new friend about how I was struggling to carry Yasmin back from chapel and how I called in to see Mrs Clements in the heart foundation charity shop initially looking for some 12-18 months clothes for Yasmin and how she was struggling with a load of donations she’d just had. Cara seems so genuinely interested that I almost forget how desperate I am for the bathroom, though I daren’t sit back on the sofa or allow my body to relax too much. Cara chats away without any judgement whatsoever when I explain that I had had to escape my parents home without the chance to get Yasmin’s buggy. Her face is full of concern as she gently enquires wether my family disapproved of Liam or if it was something else.
I briefly think about my dad and how he’d react to me discussing private family matters with a girl I only just met a couple of hours ago, but then I look around remembering I am not even in Ireland and he’ll therefore likely never find out. Sipping my tea to keep my mouth moist I find myself engrossed in conversation as I explain as carefully and as diplomatically as possible about the circumstances that caused me to suddenly take Yasmin and run away from home. I can’t stop myself becoming a little emotional as I tell Cara about Rory and Anthony and share a photo taken days earlier, just hours before I left home, at the party I arranged for my little brother. Cara, who has now drank at least half of her mug of tea, puts her mug down and leans over to hug me.
“You had to leave them honey. You couldn’t allow them to take your daughter.”
I take a long gulp of tea, swirling the mug then drinking the last of it as I reach over and place my empty mug on the bottom of the fireplace as I confess to my new friend that Yasmin isn’t actually my daughter and she is in fact my younger sister. I fully expect Cara to pull back at this point but instead she reaches for her mug, drinks the rest of her tea then she walks over and leaves her mug sitting on the side plate beside mine before wrapping both her arms around me and holding me tight. As she finally lets me go I notice she’s crying too as I wipe my own face with my sleeve.
“That’s true love Megan. It makes me think of that Bible verse. I know it says brothers but we both know it could just as easily say sisters. The one in Proverbs 18, “There’s one who sticks closer than a brother.” Just thinking of what you have done for your sister really touches me. It’s like a true life reflection of how deep God’s love is for us.”
“I hadn’t even thought of it like that. I just can’t allow her to experience the abuse I had growing up. I made my mam ill but I’ve tried to do everything Father Reilly said to make up for it. I go to confession all the time, well I used to. I haven’t managed since mam was rushed to hospital, but I say my rosary every day and I read my Bible all the time. I try my best to be a good Catholic but it feels like I fail at every opportunity.”
The pressure in my body is so intense as I shift from side to side on the couch, but the heaviness on my heart and mind somehow keep me talking to Cara as I finally feel I have a friend willing to listen at last.
Cara reaches out and lightly touches my arm.
“I’m sure you already know this Megan, but there’s a verse in the New Testament in the book of James where it says that we should confess our sins to one another and pray for each other. I’m not going anywhere right now, not until Paul is finished sorting all the car stuff with Liam through there anyway, so why don’t you talk to me, share with me, if you have anything to confess and I can pray with you.”
“But you’re not a priest?”
“No I’m not but I promise I won’t judge or anything. You know what they say about a problem shared and all that.”
I squeeze my thighs together as hard as I can. God I’m dying for the loo now but if I excuse myself right now it might appear that I don’t trust Cara, or that I don’t want to share with her, neither of which is true. Perched on the edge of the couch I cross one leg over the other, tense my muscles as tightly as I can and swing my upper leg as I bite my bottom lip and look at Cara expectantly.
“I’ve done so many things I shouldn’t have Cara. I’ve let God down so much, I’ve let Father Reilly down too. I tried so hard to have self control but it all got too much.”
I notice Cara sit back on the couch and cross her own legs tightly. She slides a hand onto her upper thigh as for a split second I wonder if she too might really need to pee, but then I quickly dismiss that idea as another wave hits me and I sit sideways on the edge of the couch and wriggle on the seat.
“You know God forgives you don’t you?”
“Even for…”
“It’s ok. I can see you are uncomfortable Megan but you don’t need to be nervous. Honestly. I won’t judge. You have no fear there. In fact all I have for you right now is compassionate, respect and admiration.”
“Even if I told you I wasn’t a virgin and I’ve had sex with Liam?”
Cara smiles and winks at me.
“We’ll I thought Yasmin was his daughter so I was as guilty at assuming you were both…you know what…anyway. Besides that is one of the hardest things ever to have self control in. I can 100% tell you that from experience. So where did you meet Liam then?”
“Oh you’ll never guess!”
“Chapel? A party? Through a friend maybe? Maybe through one of your brothers or sisters?”
“I told you you’d never guess! Believe it or not we first met in a launderette!”
“Well I wasn’t expecting that!”
Despite my vagina furiously begging me to pee, my bladder pulsating strongly, my thighs so tense I can hardly breathe and my muscles weakening by the second, I laugh with my new found friend and share how I fancied Liam from the moment he first walked into the launderette just a couple of months ago.
“Before I met him self control was never an issue you know.”
“So it’s all his fault then? Oh I like your style Megan. But you have to tell me this…could he work the washing machine? I honestly can’t work out why men struggle to work them so much.”
“Haha! You’ve got to be joking! I even had to show him where to put the coins!”
“You know what…that doesn’t surprise me one bit. They do have other uses though so I reckon we’ll forgive them don’t you?”
I nod and smile as I squirm urgently on the edge of the seat, my legs at an angle and my thighs pressed so tightly it feels like they are stuck with super glue. I look at Cara sitting as far back in the seat as possible with her back upright and her legs very tightly crossed with one hand between them.
I feel a warm dribble seep into my knickers and I bite my lip hard. I have to get up and excuse myself. I’m about to wet myself any minute. I look towards the door to the dining room in eager anticipation as just then Liam steps in smiling with Paul looking happy right beside him.
“Your husband has saved the day Cara. Thank you both for coming back. All I need to do now is arrange the road tax and we’re good to go.”
I nod at Liam, genuinely delighted for him but as another dribble leaks into my knickers I slide a hand onto my upper thigh and press down hard. I just need to make it upstairs to the bathroom. That’s all I need to hold on for now as I take a deep breath before attempting to stand up and excuse myself.
“Want me to get the buggy now honey and we can leave these two to get on with their day?”
I feel the couch bouncing as I suddenly realise it’s Cara squirming very obviously beside me.
“Oh that would be great Paul, but I really hope Liam doesn’t mind if I could perhaps use his bathroom before we leave? I never had a minute to go at the church and I can’t even wait until we get home I’m afraid.”
Liam winks at me as if he actually knows what this will do to me as he nods sympathetically to Cara.
“Of course you can. Do you know where it is?”
“Just at the right at the top of the stairs? Oh thank you. I really shouldn’t leave things to the last minute like this. You’ll have to excuse me. I need to run!”
I watch in horror as my new friend races out the room with a hand in front of her dress as I feel another small drop of warm urine escape the tip of my urethra. Oh God, please don’t let me piss myself in front of Paul and Liam! If I can only just keep it back another few minutes until Cara gets out the bathroom… |
Chapter 218
Liam
When Megan looks in my direction I pretend I’ve just arrived at the doorway and as I hear Paul coming down the stairs and through the dining room I make a comment to Cara about her husband saving the day. Her knee length black dress is swinging around as she sits right back as far as she can on the two seater sofa, her tights rubbing at the top and her top leg swinging as her low heeled black shoes move back and forth.
I’m not in the slightest surprised when she suddenly tells her husband that she really needs to use my bathroom, my penis throbbing in my suit trousers as I can’t take my eyes off her squirming and fidgeting body. The way she cups her hand lightly over the front of her dress as she swings from side to side walking quickly past me and through the dining room behind me is enough to almost make my body erupt, especially when she comments that she can’t even wait until she gets home and something about leaving things to the very last minute. My heart is pounding as I deliberately divert my attention to my girlfriend as I worry she may have noticed how I looked at Cara as she walked past me.
Catching Megan’s eye I realise something instantly: she very clearly needs to pee every bit as much as Cara and now she can’t go! My eyes, hopefully, portray sympathy, though my thoughts are anything but as I wonder if her knickers under her long black skirt are still dry. Her face is so red and embarrassed looking that I highly doubt it as I’m so thankful that Paul has gone to get the buggy with his son in from the dining room. I can’t stop staring at my incredibly beautiful girlfriend as she wriggles for all she’s worth on the edge of the sofa, bouncing and fidgeting non stop. I spot her ramming her fist between her legs until she hears Paul getting nearer and she suddenly stands up, one foot sliding up and down her other calf.
I need to say something to distract everyone from my very obvious erection, but just as I’m trying to swallow to moisten my very dry mouth Paul wheels the buggy through the doorway and starts chatting away.
“Thank you so much for inviting us in. That was a delicious coffee Megan and I appreciated the snacks too as I hadn’t managed to get anything at the church. I hope you manage to get the tax sorted Liam. I know you have a lot on but it would be so good to see you both again.”
Megan, unusually, seems very quiet as I hear her gasp quietly as she shuffles closer to me, now almost standing behind me.
“I’m…I’m just going to check on Yasmin a minute…”
As I watch Megan disappear behind me I hear Paul comment quietly, somewhat concerned sounding.
“Is Megan ok? She looked very red in the face.”
I’m reticent to move from where I am in the doorway, desperately wanting to see if I can see Megan anywhere but also wondering if I should perhaps tell Paul what’s wrong? I decide this would embarrass Megan too much so I shrug and say that she’s probably very tired still from the overnight journey and keen to check Yasmin is ok. Paul seems to accept this as he patiently waits for his wife to return. I check behind me for either of the woman, not seeing either of them anywhere and wondering where Megan might have went. Is she upstairs, perhaps standing outside the bathroom door pee dancing, perhaps even holding herself as she eagerly awaits it becoming free? Has she maybe hidden herself in one of the rooms for privacy so she can do whatever she needs to to stop herself having an accident? Or has she been inventive and found something perhaps to pee in like she once did with the scrambled egg saucepan in her kitchen in Bangor? Each scenario drives me crazy as I slip my hand down and take a step back more into the dining room so my erection isn’t as obvious to Paul.
My penis feels so long and thick as it throbs and moves in my loose trousers as I fear I might even cum if I don’t calm down a bit! I look back over to Paul as he catches my eye.
“Really sorry about Cara mate. We only live a few minutes from here too. She must have needed to go really badly. I can’t really comment mind you as I was holding right through doing that insurance stuff and the minute I stood up I thought I was going to embarrass myself. I’m glad you let me go or else I might have left a puddle.”
“That’s ok. I went when I went up for my tablet as I was wanting to go the whole walk back from the church. Oh here she’s coming now.”
“Thanks Liam. That feels much better. Where’s Megan gone?”
“I thought she was upstairs?”
“I didn’t see her.”
“She’s maybe making a bottle or getting stuff for Yasmin. I’ll say goodbye from us both and thanks again for all your help. We really are grateful.”
“No problem. Say goodbye to Megan for me won’t you Liam? She has my number.”
“ I will do. Bye.”
I close the front door immediately stroking myself as I have to find Megan. I need to know if she made it or not. I want to hear all about how long she needed to go and just how bursting she was. Walking back through the living room I hear Yasmin’s familiar noises as she must have woken with the noise of the door. She’s not crying so I decide to find Megan first.
“Meg? You ok? That’s them gone.”
I stand silently in the dining room as I try to listen for Megan. Then I hear it as i can’t stop rubbing myself as my penis throbs and aches with such an urgency to cum. The whimpering and whining seems to be coming from the kitchen as I walk towards it curiously.
“Phffff. Fuck! I can’t take this any more!”
Looking in I see my girlfriend with her skirt and tights lying tossed on the floor and a hand towel rolled up between her legs as she’s crouched down in the kitchen bouncing on her knees holding the towel tight between her legs.
“I gotta pee so bad Liam ok!”
“I can see that babe. It’s ok, they’ve gone now!”
The bouncing intensifies as Megan’s entire face contorts and her teeth clench together tightly as in the silence I stand and stare as she rubs back and forth with the towel between her legs as I wonder for a moment if she’s masturbating herself or trying to catch her urine. I’m mesmerised by her rubbing and pressing of the towel as I am sure I hear pee escaping from between her legs as she gasps and whines and shakes.
“Oh my God this feels so fucking amazing!”
She’s laughing now as she continues to rub her pussy with the towel as she teases me by pulling it down just enough for me to get a very clear view of her urethra pushed through between her red and puffy vaginal lips as urine pours out onto the towel as Megan pushes the warm wet towel back against her crotch and continues pleasuring herself. It’s the sexiest, more awesome thing I can ever recall seeing a woman do as my own body reaches a point of no return and I feel my underwear and trousers dampen with warm sticky fluid.
Still crouched down Megan looks right up at me, her eyes wide and full of sheer relief and joy.
“I couldn’t wait for Cara to finish. Thank goodness there was a hand towel in here!”
“I assume you were needing that a while then sweetheart?”
She stands up, leaving the soaking wet towel on the floor as she steps beside me, still naked from the waist down, and throws her arms around me.
“Right from when you were chatting to Andrew Watt at the church. Then the whole walk back here. Then while we chatted at the corner to Paul and Cara, and then the entire time they were here! I’d better go get changed as my knickers and tights need washed as much as the towel does. God that was an amazing pee though.”
I feel her hand creep down to my crotch.
“I think you could do with getting changed too don’t you?”
I nod as Megan holds me close and kisses me before she rushes past and I hear her chatting casually to Yasmin at the bottom of the stairs.
“I’ll be down for you in a minute baby. I promise.” |
Chapter 219
Megan
After my ‘incident’ in the kitchen I run upstairs quickly to get changed into more casual clothes before returning downstairs to get Yasmin out of the car seat. I take her upstairs to change her nappy, put her into some leggings and a top and take her back down to the kitchen to get a yogurt and some fruit to feed her. I notice Liam has put the towel and dirty clothes in the washing machine and after feeding Yasmin I plan to go back upstairs with her to collect the rest of the washing and put the machine on. I notice Liam’s mobile phone and tablet on the dining table from earlier as I suddenly remember that my phone is still in my coat pocket and still on do not disturb.
Sitting in the dining room with Yasmin I notice Liam has also changed out of his suit when he returns to the dining room wearing a pair of adidas joggers that I’ve never seen before and a loose t-shirt. I can’t help but admire his body still as he comes downstairs while I’m feeding Yasmin and asks if I’d like a cuppa. He joins me at the big table as I finally get a proper update on the car insurance that is now sorted and I suggest he looks online to see how much road tax is.
“To be really honest with you Megan I’m maxed out on my credit card as I had to pay two months insurance upfront..”
He pauses to type some numbers from the registration document into the government website.
“Yip this is beyond me. £155! God I had no idea it was that much.”
“Can you pay it up?”
“Looks like it, though they add a surcharge. It’s £13.57 a month if you do it by direct debit.”
“You can set that up on my account if you want. Did you put me on the insurance?”
“Yeah. I put your address as mine in Bangor. I hope that was ok?”
“We’ll I don’t really see me going back home now, do you?”
“I sort of guessed that.”
“If you don’t mind taking over with Yasmin I’ll get my purse and get you the details for the road tax.”
“You sure about this?”
“Absolutely.”
Handing Liam Yasmin I go to find the changing bag and dig out my purse and phone. Turning the do not disturb off I place the phone down on the table to get my bank card out my purse as the phone immediately vibrates with a missed call.
“Is it the long number you need honey?”
“No. It’s the name and details of your bank account to set up a direct debit.”
“Ah. I don’t know that off by heart I’m afraid. I know it’s Halifax on the Main Street in Bangor though. Any idea how I could find out my account number?”
“Maybe a branch might be able to tell you?”
“That’s a great idea. I’ll google and see if the branch in Bangor has a direct number.”
“There’s a Halifax here in Chester if that helps?”
“Seriously? Do you know where it is?”
“Of course. It’s in the city centre.”
“Is that far from here?”
“No. In fact you know the way we just walked back from my aunt’s church? The city centre is just ten minutes walk from there.”
I pick up my mobile as I look at the screen and see I’ve missed 3 calls, two from a Shaun and one from Iain. I must look stressed or angry or something as Liam looks at me anxiously.
“Everything ok?”
“Just 3 missed calls from my family. Fancy a walk then after I’ve finished my tea? I assume the bank will still be open?
Liam checks his watch and smiles at me.
“It’s only just after 3. Do you want to call back whoever it was? Am I right it thinking it was Shaun again? You know I’m still a bit shocked at how he spoke to you yesterday. There’s no way he’d speak to any of the guys I work with like that. I feel terrible working for him now you know.”
“It’s not your fault. He’s always liked to be the boss and have control but he’s never threatened me this bad before. Lots of digs and that sort of stuff but nothing on the scale of yesterday. He can brew for a bit though. I could do with some fresh air and once we get the road tax sorted that’ll be another thing off the list. I’ll get Yasmin’s coat.”
Within 5 minutes we’re heading out the door again with Yasmin in her buggy as Liam directs and leads as we walk towards the city centre in the hope the bank can help me out. I’m still in shock at how different Chester is to back home in Bangor in every way. The roads are busier, the houses bigger and way more expensive, and even the shops look more modern and fresh. As we get closer to the city centre I gasp as the precinct reminds me of Belfast with its huge department stores, discount clothes stores and well known high street names. Liam appears as familiar with the shops as he is his flat back in Bangor as he quickly leads us straight to a big branch of Halifax as he pushes the door open and holds it to let me in.
The staff are only too willing to help me and quickly provide the information I need as I double check I have enough funds for the first direct debit before thanking them and leaving. On the walk back Liam is more relaxed than I’ve ever known him as he eagerly points out the road to the Cathedral, the zoo and aquarium, the Roman Gardens and enthusiastically says how he just must me to see the amphitheater while I’m here.
“Oh and there’s some truly lovely walks along the river too.”
I love hearing him happy, animated and excited as I joke half heartedly that he won’t want to go back to Bangor.
As we walk the few houses in Westminster Street to get to number 20 again Liam looks at me directly as he stands on the front door step with his key in the lock.
“I genuinely don’t know what to do to be honest Megan. I’ve lived here all my life and this house holds a very special place in my heart. Compared to my flat in Ireland this is like a castle and I know my aunt would love it if I lived here permanently. But then maybe I could sell here and we could get somewhere together in Bangor where we both have jobs and you have family? What would you like best?”
“We could get a house in Bangor? You really want me to live with you all the time?”
As he closes the front door and he follows me through to the dining room where I park the buggy by the stairs and lift Yasmin out Liam gently touches my arm as I stand upright holding my sister.
“Of course I want that. If today has taught me anything Megan it’s that you never know what might happen in life. Life is too short. You know I was talking to Paul earlier as he was asking how I met you and he really made me see something: My aunt Ella never gave up on me ever. She never stopped praying for me and believing in me. I really believe you are one of her answers to her prayers. We were meant to meet. We were destined to fall in love. I am a better man for being with you. I love you so much, and I love you too Yasmin. I’m committed to you Megan. I know we’ve only been together a short time but we’ve been through so much. Of course I want us to live together, wether that’s here or in Bangor. I want you to drive the car because it’s as much yours as it is mine. We’re a couple and I want us to stay like that forever. One day, if you want, I’d love it if you agreed to marry me.”
Yasmin, clearly unaffected by Liam’s heartfelt speech, is trying to climb out my arms to crawl about so I put her down and fall into Liam’s arms as he holds me tight and we kiss lovingly.
I smile up at Liam, a man I absolutely adore with all my heart.
“Maybe we ought to sort out the road tax before we think about a wedding? I wonder how Shaun will take this latest news then? Oh and the answer is yes in case your wondering..though I can’t believe I’m actually agreeing to commit my life to a saint of desperate situations! I’ll never be able to pray to St Jude in the same way ever again!” |
Chapter 220
Liam
I can’t believe I actually asked her, in my usual clumsy manner granted! It’s like everything has changed, yet nothing has changed at all, as I amuse and watch Yasmin in the living room whilst I type in Megan’s bank account details to the government site to set up the road tax direct debit, allowing Megan peace to cook us all tea. I can smell chicken cooking as my stomach rumbles and I get a confirmation email to say my new car is now taxed. While Yasmin sits on the floor with some toys half playing and half watching TV I go onto the StelaLine site to see if I can upgrade our tickets to include the car even though I don’t quite know how I’ll pay for it right at this point. As I’m navigating the site looking for the relevant information I hear Megan’s mobile ringing in the dining room and hear her shout through asking if I can get it as she’s busy cooking.
I pick up Yasmin and walk through to the other room where I pick up Megan’s phone and answer it without even checking who it is. I recognise the voice instantly as I look at Megan humming to herself happily in my aunt’s kitchen and I have this overwhelming need to protect her.
“Megan isn’t available right now. Can I take a message for her?”
I pray silently to myself that Shaun doesn’t recognise my voice as I try to keep Yasmin quiet and listen at the same time. Not wanting Megan to hear who it is or what he’s saying I step closer to the living room and allow a wriggling Yasmin to get down to her toys again. Doing my best to disguise my voice I confirm that I will pass on his message to Megan and then I hang up, terrified he might question me and find out I am actually his employee.
“Who was it honey?”
I want to lie but I fear this might only make things worse. As Megan brings in plates of chicken, mashed potatoes and vegetables I smile at her warmly despite my shaking hands and return to the living room for the baby again.
“It was Shaun again.”
“I might have guessed. Did he shout at you?”
“Actually no. He just wanted me to pass you a message.”
“Did he recognise your voice?”
“I don’t know for certain but I don’t think so. This looks delicious! You are so good to me you know.”
I love how she smiles at me, how her eyes shine and her cheeks go all rosy.
“So what was the message?”
“The visit went well this morning and your dad has called social services today regarding the little one.”
“Is that what Shaun actually called her?”
“Yes”
“Wow.”
I carry on eating as Megan eats her meal and simultaneously feeds her sister. I look at them both, feeling such a guilt at telling them what Megan’s very own brother just said and wishing I could just magic all their troubles away forever.
“I’m so sorry love. I wasn’t wanting to tell you.”
She looks at me again still smiling. I’m not sure if it’s a brave cover up or genuinely how she feels about it all.
“Let’s not worry about that tonight Liam. It’s been a very emotional day already and there’s nothing going to happen tonight. If social services were that worried they’d have called me today already. The only missed calls I had were from Shaun and Iain. Did he say how the boys are at all?”
“No sorry.”
“Not your fault. He only called to try and frighten me you know. You don’t need to hide things from me Liam. It’s always better to tell the truth. There’s some fresh fruit and cream in the fridge if you’d like some.”
“That sounds delicious. You want some brought in?”
“Yeah why not. Thanks.”
As I said earlier it was as if nothing had changed after I sort of asked Megan to marry me. After pudding she takes her sister upstairs to bath and get ready for bed and she comes back down with Yasmin in one of her one piece pop up the front things. I sort of expected that, but what I didn’t expect was my beautiful Megan coming down in a little silk and lace black top with matching knickers that take my breath away and cause my penis to immediately enlarge in my tracksuit trousers.
“Oh my God Megan! You look stunning! I never even knew you had anything like that!”
“I don’t! I was looking for a flannel to wash Yasmin with and found these in a drawer in your aunt’s room. I hope you don’t mind that I tried them on?”
“Oh goodness no! Ha! My aunt’s? Now that’s something I never expected! Next you’ll be saying you found handcuffs and a leather belt in her room too…”
“Well now you mention it Liam…”
My eyes enlarge like saucers, my mind racing, as I look at Megan Murphy to try and work out if she’s teasing or telling the truth.
“Ha ha! You should see your face! Seriously though I have no idea where your aunt might have got these from as looking at all her other clothes…sorry some of them were in the very same drawer as this…this is a completely different size to everything else of hers.”
“Maybe someone gave it to her?”
I look at Megan and we both laugh, obviously thinking the exact same thing. Our voices blend together as we both laugh so hard in my aunt’s cosy living room in Chester.
“Sandy or Jim?”
Megan puts her sister on the floor as I grab her from the side and pull her onto my knee kissing her neck and ear lobes and then her lips.
The sexy lingerie, like so many things it seems, might be something we never find the answer to, but right now that doesn’t matter one bit. What matters is that the three of us are together on a night when I should feel the most lonely I ever have, but instead I feel deeply loved and delighted that Megan Murphy actually agreed to marry me, even if I just blurted it out rather badly.
Whatever happens with social services and Yasmin I will always stand with her and fight for the baby every bit as much as I know she will. |
Chapter 222
Liam
We seem to settle into an easy routine by Tuesday morning as all three of us sit at the dining table eating home made porridge that Megan so expertly makes. It’s by far the nicest porridge I’ve ever tasted. I’m just chatting casually with Megan about what we should do with the day when I hear my phone ring in the living room. I wave to excuse myself as I go to get the phone and come right back. I’m glad I’ve sat back down when the voice at the other end takes my breath away.
It’s Lauren Bennet!
She’s her usual manipulative self, going on about hearing from someone that I was back in England and staying at my aunt’s.
“Hey Liam! Remember me? I’ll get straight to the point shall I: You owe me Liam. The least you can do is talk with me. Dad reckons you had some sort of a mental breakdown or mid life crisis or something. He saw all the signs with you accusing mum of not paying you properly and saying such lies about members of dad’s staff. He thinks you maybe had a fright and I was pushing you to get married too soon. You should have said you needed more time. I would have waited for you you know. I could have paid for you to see a specialist and got you help instead of running away like that. But now that you’re back and better and…well if you have the money to get a flight from Ireland then you have the money to pay me back for the contents of my car that the police tell me you threw overboard some ferry. My source tells me your aunt works at that wretched public high school across the river so I’ll call by later this morning and we can come to some arrangement. Oh and I have something very exciting to tell you…you’re going to love it! I’ll save it for later though!”
I don’t get a second to reply before she hangs up on me and I stare at the phone in shock and disbelief. That’s all I need right now is Lauren fucking Bennet hounding me! I update Megan and do my best to explain the abuse I experienced from not just her but her entire family. She nods and I know she understands as for the first time I realise how similar Lauren is to Shaun. I still carry such a weight of guilt from what I did to Lauren though and hearing her voice brings back the panic and stress I felt before when she first posted on Facebook and then called the police. As I clear the empty bowls and mugs and take them into the kitchen I hear Megan asking innocently if I still have any feeling for Lauren after being with her for so long.
I return to my beautiful Megan, hugging her from behind as she still sits on the dining chair holding her sister as I kiss her neck and try to reassure her that I only have eyes for one woman and that’s her. I can sense her insecurity though still as I try not to think about Lauren and her long golden hair, her long shapely legs and her perfect figure and the way all the guys at the football ogled her every time she came to watch me play. She’s dangerous though, as are her parents, and the call, with all it’s veiled threats and undertones, makes me so angry. How dare she invade my aunt’s house! How dare she call where my aunt worked a ‘wretched public high school’! How crap is her so called ‘source’ anyway if she doesn’t even realise aunt Ella has died! I briefly entertain the idea of not being in and I wonder if Megan is thinking the same as I stand up and head to the stairs as my darling Megan looks at me carefully.
“So…you want to face her head on or avoid her? Either way I fully support you. I mean we’re only here until Thursday anyway.”
I step up the first few stairs about to head to the bathroom to shave and brush my teeth when I look down at Megan and Yasmin. I’d rather they didn’t meet Lauren Bennet but on the other hand what have I got to hide from her? I’ve already confessed to the police and to Megan, so what more harm can Lauren do? She can’t take what I haven’t got and even though my aunt might have left me all her estate I haven’t actually got any of it yet, other than the car, and Lauren doesn’t need to know about that.
“I say we carry on with our plans of clearing out and taking stuff to charity. Knowing Lauren Bennett she might but even bother to show up. As you say, we leave in a couple of days and there’s so much to do!”
I head up the stairs and then find Megan in my old bedroom when I come out. It’s weird seeing my girlfriend touching my things from my old life as I hope there’s nothing hiding that there shouldn’t be!
“Is there any bin bags Liam? I was thinking filling all the bags of rubbish on the landing and anything you want to keep we bag up on the bed. Not so easy with Yasmin here but we’ll see what we can do.”
“Perfect. I’ll be right with you.”
I race to the kitchen, find a roll of bin bags and head straight back up to join Megan. It’s great to see so many of my old clothes as I fold up jumpers, shirts, t-shirts, joggers, jeans and shorts and bag them to take back to Ireland. Some of my old footwear I bag to be dumped and others I keep. Pulling out a pair of old football boots from the bottom of the wardrobe I look at them for a moment before deciding to bin them. My football playing days are well over even if the boots do bring back some great memories.
“Did you only play for local teams then?”
“I began playing for my school team, then a youth club and Chester Lions and we won the junior league one year. I got picked to try out for Chester FC at one point too. Never got in but was a great game nonetheless. That was when I met Lauren. She used to hang around the clubs with some of her rich friends. The guys all fancied her and her dad was trying to get some sort of advertising deal with the club so it was a bit of a competition to see who could get her attention. I was never out the gym in those days and she knew exactly how to get everyone’s attention, including mine! I was young and naive and full of issues after my mum left me.”
I pass things to Megan pointing to the relevant bag for them as Yasmin sits on my bed blocked from falling by Megan, playing with some old DVD’s. It feels good to talk about Lauren and my past so easily and I feel like it no longer has the hold on me it did before. As Megan ties another bag to put in the hallway she asks me to sit beside Yasmin so she doesn’t fall and I pause to talk to and play with the baby.
“I tell you something young lady. I won’t ever let anyone treat you like Lauren treated me, ok? And I won’t ever leave you like my mum did either.”
Megan is just coming back in the bedroom door when we both freeze hearing the doorbell. There’s only one person we are expecting and I pick up Yasmin and carry her down with Megan right behind me. |
Chapter 223
Megan
Wow does Lauren Bennett have presence! That’s how Iain would describe it anyway as she barges into the house like she owns the place. Yasmin looks scared in Liam’s arms as Liam quietly invites her to sit down as I stare at her in shock.
She’s like someone right off the pages of a magazine, hair sitting perfectly, make up to the hills, high heeled shoes that are marking the carpet and wearing a revealing fitted dress that leaves little to the imagination, her figure like that of a model rather than an average woman. Added to all that she’s tall, aided of course by her footwear that adds at least an inch to her height. She refuses to sit, though she looks across at me and gestures that maybe I ought to sit rather than her. I immediately have a huge dislike of her, and not just because she’s Liam’s ex.
Her eyes size me up before she suddenly laughs loudly and mockingly.
“Your standards have clearly fallen more than even I thought they would! I see you’ve found another gullible bitch to satisfy your animal needs! I assume you’ve told her your criminal history then? Your cowardice behaviour and thieving ways? Oh my Liam you haven’t half let yourself go too! Your a right mess you are Liam Jude! Just confirms what dad told me mind you. I did warn you you were getting that dreadful middle age spread and now look at you? And what in the name of God is that in your arms?”
I can’t keep quiet any more as I reach to take Yasmin from Liam as if this somehow eradicates the evil words that have just been spoken about her. Liam seems frozen to the spot, his mouth open as if desperate to speak but unable to find any words, as he lets me take Yasmin from him without a fight.
“This is Yasmin, my baby sister. Not that it is any business of yours though!”
“Oh a feisty bitch is she now? Exactly the sort a weak and deceitful man like you needs to keep him in order I expect. So what brought you back to auntie’s little sweet home again this time?”
She looks at me pitifully as if I’m some sort of piece of dirt she can’t even bare to look at never mind touch.
“He’s no fucking man is our Liam. Never grown up and always running back to his little auntie whenever things don’t go his little bunny wunny way. Making up stories like a little boy clambering for attention. Except he’s no mr nice guy either! Not by a long fucking way! Best get rid of him now little tramp girl. I’m taking him to court you see. Did he tell you about stealing my Porsche and my most precious family jewellery that he knew damn well meant the world to me.”
She turns to face Liam who is now standing with his head bowed at the edge of the room like a little child getting into trouble for stealing a biscuit. He seems ashamed, frightened even, as Lauren continues her never ending tirade or hatred and lies. She raises a hand dramatically and wipes her forehead without ever actually touching it.
“How could you do that Liam? My gran’s necklace, my grandpa’s watch, my great aunt’s rings. Is that how you repay me when all I ever did was look after you? Who was it paying whether we were out to eat? Whose cars did you drive? Whose house did you stay in? And what do you do? Fucking throw it over a bloody ferry! You need help Liam Liam! I would offer to get you it but you know what..you’ve wasted more than enough of my money already!
Anyway, since you’ve once again came running back to your stupid auntie again then don’t think I’m letting this drop. Mum did some calculations for me and with the value of the Porsche, the jewellery and the money it’s easily 85 thousand you owe me. I thought we could maybe make a payment plan, set up something for you, only because you did at least get the wedding rings. Oh and don’t worry about them honey. I sold them online a few weeks ago and made quite a profit too. It’s called business, not that you’d know anything about that. So what do you think? A couple of thousand a month?”
If Liam isn’t going to speak up then I definitely am!
“Who do you think you are coming in here spouting your trollop? To start with let me assure you Liam has confessed everything to me! Firstly, are you aware that his aunt doesn’t even live here anymore? She was found dead just over two weeks ago and yesterday was her funeral. Not that you seem to care about that! And as for your money…you can go sing for that! He abandoned the car and it was found completely undamaged exactly where he said he’d left it. Those precious family treasures you talk about? If they were so precious to you why were they just sitting in the glove box of your car? Anyway that’s a matter for the police since you reported them missing and I have no doubt your insurance will have already paid out for those. So Liam here won’t be paying you a penny. Oh and while I mention the police, just in case Liam forgot too tell you, they took photographic evidence from Liam and he told them everything you did to him. You are nothing but an abusive bully. Now you are upsetting the baby here so if you don’t leave right now I’ll be calling the police.”
Inside I am shaking but outside I hold Yasmin calmly and quietly taking a few steps closer to Liam to support him.
“Oh that’s fucking hilarious that! Right little Scottish joker you found there Liam!”
For the first time since Lauren arrived Liam finally finds his voice as he speaks clearly but without looking at Lauren.
“Irish. She’s Irish not Scottish! Look why did you come here? Megan just said my aunt has passed away and I only said my final goodbye yesterday. Haven’t you any compassion and care?”
Lauren seems to soften on hearing Liam’s voice as she suddenly runs right up to him throwing her arms around him dramatically.
“Oh you poor thing! We’ll don’t you worry about your aunt because I come bearing some wonderful news for you.”
She reaches into her expensive gold trimmed clutch bag hanging over her shoulder elegantly and pulls something out. I recognise it instantly having seem many before. Holding it carefully in front of Liam like it’s the Crown Jewels in her hand rather than a black and white medical printout she uses her free hand to pull my boyfriend’s head upright to face her as she raises the photograph to show him.
“This is our baby Liam. I did tell you before you left, in case you’d forgotten. You’re going to be a dad. Due date is 18 October. That’s why I need the money. It’s for your child. You wouldn’t abandon your own baby now would you? Not when you of all people know what that’s like! I’ve written down my bank details. I’ll check next week to see if you’ve started paying me. If you haven’t then it’ll be taken further. I’ll see myself out shall I? Not that I want to stay a minute longer in this filthy shit hole anyway.”
And at that she walks out slamming the front door behind her making Yasmin cry.
I though Shaun Murphy was bad but Lauren Bennet is in another league entirely. |
Chapter 224
Liam
Just seeing Lauren again brings everything back as I feel intimidated, remorseful and embarrassed all at once. She’s every bit how I recall her being: commanding, attractive and very much in control! I know better than to argue with her, having tried too often in the past and faced the consequences. Her vile hatred and vitriol fills the room with such anger that I bow my head and refuse to even look at her. She doesn’t deserve eye contact, in fact she doesn’t even deserve to be listened to.
The more she spouts her abhorrent abuse the more I feel my anger rising though and when she starts aiming it at Megan I have to say something. Why did she even have to bring Megan and Yasmin into this? Her issue is with me not them! I guess she’ll not be dropping the police case now, though I’m beginning to wonder if maybe I should play her at her own game and claim I had a breakdown and therefore wasn’t responsible for my actions? Maybe I could even claim her abuse drove me to do it too?
Fuck! This seriously can’t be true! She can’t be? Oh my God! I glance at the scan in disbelief and then immediately to Megan. I can’t even bare to look at Lauren, not just because I abhor her so much right now but because her eyes draw me, her body lures me and I can’t ever give her that power over me again. I’ve escaped that once and I promised myself never ever to go there again.
But this…this changes things. What the fucking hell am I meant to do now? Is it even true? Would Lauren be so low, so spiteful to show me someone else’s baby scan to control me and bribe me? Why the fuck would anyone do that? Surely she’ll start to show soon? Even she wouldn’t be that foolish surely? It’s not the first she’s lied though?
Oh God I can hardly breath! The room keeps moving. My feet are slipping on the carpet. Megan’s voice is getting fainter and fainter.
Blackness and silence cover me as I come to to Megan kneeling over me stroking my forehead and saying my name. Was it just a bad dream? I am in bed safe? As my eyes refocus, and I sit up slowly, I look around at the familiar living room as the realisation hits me all over again: Lauren Bennet is pregnant…with my child.
A tear runs down my face silently as I feel Megan’s hand gently wipe it away.
“It’s okay honey. You’re ok.”
But I’m anything but ok! My life is a fucking mess all over again! I can’t even run back to my aunt for safety because she’s gone too. No wonder my own mum abandoned me! Megan doesn’t deserve me. Why should she stick with me now when another woman is having my baby? She doesn’t deserve that. I love her too much to put her through something like that.
“Stay sitting down Liam. Wait and I’ll get you a glass of water. You went down with some bang. You gave Yasmin and me such a fright!”
I can see Yasmin sitting on the floor looking at me but I can’t see Megan anywhere while I rub my eyes and then use my arms to steady myself on the living room floor. Megan comes back with a glass of cold water and I sip at it carefully, my hands shaking and my head throbbing.
“Has…has she left?”
“Yes. You’re safe now Liam. You fainted but you are ok now. Have you hurt yourself anywhere?”
“I…I don’t think so. But…the baby?”
“Yasmin is fine. She was in my arms the whole time. She’s safe and well. It’s you I’m worried about Liam. God that Lauren is quite something. I actually can’t find the words to actually say what I think. How long were you with her?”
“I was 20 the day we first kissed. That was 11 years ago.”
“You were with her the whole 11 years?”
“It was a very intense on and off relationship. She went abroad a lot. Sometimes for months on end and other times just for a random long weekend. I never knew when or where. She said it was none of my business. Then sometimes I was the ‘in thing’ and we went for meals, to the theatre, to parties and all that and I wasn’t allowed to leave her side, not even to go to the gents! I always had to be in the mood whenever she wanted it. I could never be tired or have a sore head or have a match to play in. In the end I had to stop playing for the team as they all got so pissed off at me never showing up for games because Lauren had something on that she wanted me to go to with her. She never told me when things were so I could never plan and if I protested we’d have a huge fall out and I’d come back to my aunts. Then she’d give me the silent treatment for months and then suddenly I’d come out of work one day and she’d be there again all dressed up in her sexy clothes with her long kegs flashing at me and her hair down just like she knew I loved and I’d be right back with her like a lost puppy. I knew it was stupid but I couldn’t resist her and she knew it! She’d be all over me and I’d feel amazing and then I’d wake up one morning and she’d be gone again, to God knows where.
Things went on like that until I lost my job at the frozen food factory. The company went into liquidation and I had no football to fall back on and no qualifications from school and suddenly I had nothing. She found out through someone I worked with and things really changed after that. She told me she would sort things for me and I foolishly trusted her. She spoke to her parents and her dad offered me a job. Worse thing I ever did. I think I told you before how her mum did the accounts? To begin with I was paid in full and all was ok. I hated the job but I needed the money so I put up with it. Then my wages started being short. Ten pounds here and there and stuff until one week when I had no wage at all. When I mentioned to Lauren she laughed so much it scared me. She said I must have made some mistake. It must be my bank or something. She found the whole thing hilarious for some reason.
Then she started shouting at me saying she’d heard rumours from staff that I was having an affair with her dad’s secretary. She started hitting me, throwing things at me and scratching me. Later on she apologised and said she was all hormonal and she was late with her period and thought maybe she was pregnant. Of course I got all excited then. I’ve always dreamt of being a dad. I had no idea that this was just playing right where she wanted me and suddenly she announced then and there that, of course, that was why she had attacked me…it was because she loved me and didn’t want to lose me because she was having my baby. I believed her and forgave her but the next morning when I was in her en-suite shaving I noticed something in the bin. Thinking it was the positive pregnancy test I picked it up. But it wasn’t what I thought it was. It was a used tampon. She wasn’t pregnant at all.
That’s when I started to doubt her more. I wanted to question her and kept waiting for the right time but suddenly she had another business trip to go to and she disappeared for another month or so. On her return she never contacted me. It was when I went to see my friend training at the stadium that I saw her again flirting with the other players and loving their attention. She never expected me to be there and when she saw me she looked away. In the company of others I suddenly felt braver so I shouted over to her asking how the pregnancy was going. I knew she’d be furious but it felt good suddenly having power over her.
But I lived to regret that as she put on these crocodile tears in front of everyone saying what a bastard I was and that it was my fault she’d lost the baby and she never wanted to see me again. She then text to apologise and asked to meet me down the river for a walk to talk. She turned up in one of her shirt skirts, her shaved long legs on show and her hair pleated in front of her all enticing and alluring. As soon as she kissed me I was putty in her arms again and she promised we’d try again for another child. I stupidly believed her Megan. I know it sounds terrible, but I did. Other than my aunt I had no-one else.
For a while things were ok but I lost trust in her. I still wasn’t being paid and work life was horrendous. Her parents made my life a misery and one night I felt so down I just didn’t feel like making love to her. She got so angry and spiked my drink and beat me and raped me. Then she started going on about us getting married and made me order rings with what little savings I had. I was out of it on whatever she had put in my drink and once the rings were ordered she laid in the bed and then told me again that she was pregnant. I wanted to believe her but something told me it was another one of her lies.
I couldn’t sleep, despite the drugs she’d spiked my drink with, and once I saw she was asleep that’s when I ran away.
I didn’t think it was true Megan. You have to believe me. I didn’t actually believe she was having my child…” |
Chapter 225
Megan
As the door slams closed I let out a breath that I hadn’t even realised I was holding. I’m still in shock at everything about her and what she’s said as I look at Liam and see his face is chalk white, his eyes are glazed and closing and his legs are sinking. Suddenly he falls to the ground, crumbling like a concrete tower block when it’s had explosives under it. The thump reverberates right through the house as I worry he’s concussed himself or injured himself somehow. I sit Yasmin down immediately on the floor and roll him into the recovery position checking he’s breathing and that he hasn’t swallowed his tongue.
Loosening his clothing I gently call his name until he finally responds. Reassuring him that he’s ok I instruct him not to get up while I run and get him a cold glass of water. Returning back I’m so relieved to see him sitting up again and sipping at the water even if he seems initially a little confused and pale. I’m so touched that the first person he asks about is Yasmin. It’s a testament to how caring and attentive he is that my baby sister is his first thought after being unconscious. I don’t think he has any idea how much I love him and how concerned I am about him right now.
Having now met Lauren so much of what Liam tells me makes sense as I listen intently as he confesses in detail about the years of abuse and torment he suffered at her hands and those of her family. As Yasmin crawls around his legs and happily plays with the laces of his trainers I listen intently to everything, my heart breaking and tears rolling down my cheeks freely. How could anyone treat another person like that? What sort of evil person lies about a pregnancy and abuses someone they claim to want to marry? Then to add to that by threatening them the day after their beloved aunt’s funeral? I shake my head silently as I sit right beside the man who has my whole heart and life, desperately wanting to make everything better for Liam but powerless to change the past.
All I can do is hold him as I wrap my arms around him as we sit on the floor both crying, both still in shock at the events of the last half hour. I pull out of Liam’s arms suddenly as I hear Yasmin making an unusual sound. Immediately pulling Liam’s shoelaces out of her mouth I pick her up in shock.
“Don’t do that Yasmin! You can’t eat them! They’re dirty! I think I’d better go get her something to eat Liam. Do you think you can stand up? Here let me put Yasmin down and I’ll help you onto the sofa. Just sit there and I’ll bring you in some lunch into here ok? Yasmin shhhh I’ll get you lunch in a minute honey.”
I help Liam onto the couch, slipping off his trainers and pulling his feet up onto the couch, then picking up Yasmin, who is now crying.
“I’ll be right back in a minute ok. Just lie there Liam. Don’t get up, ok?”
He nods as he rests his head on the arm of the couch and closes his eyes. I only hope he doesn’t roll off or anything as I dearly wish I had a high chair to put Yasmin in like at home. Instead I have to hold her while I open a tin of tomato soup and heat it in the microwave for Liam and Yasmin. Trying to butter bread is so hard while Yasmin squirms and cries in my arms as I look everywhere for a tray to carry it through to Liam. I can’t find one anywhere so I carry the buttered bread into the dining room followed by the soup, very carefully as I have Yasmin in my arms too. I hand Yasmin a rich tea biscuit and place her on the floor while I wake Liam again and hope he’s steady enough to be able to come through to the dining room. He wakes easily and with support he comes through and sits down in front of his soup. I pick my baby sister up and get her smaller plate of soup and carry it through from the kitchen and then sit next to Liam to make sure he doesn’t fall, with Yasmin on my knee as I exchange her biscuit for bread and blow on the soup before giving her some.
Once Yasmin has had enough soup and I’m satisfied Liam has a bit more colour in his cheeks too I wipe Yasmin’s face and fetch some iced water for Liam and some warm milk for Yasmin. Picking up Yasmin again and sitting her on my knee I place my hand on Liams thigh.
“It’s going to be ok Liam. Whatever happens I’m not leaving you. And you are most definitely not paying that bitch a penny ok!”
“But what about my baby? I can’t abandon my baby Megan. I’m not like my mum.”
“You are not like your mum, or your dad Liam. There’s almost 6 months before the baby will be here. Let’s take a day at a time right now ok. Are you finished your soup? Was it ok?”
“Yes. It was lovely thank you.”
“Do you feel strong enough to hold Yasmin a minute while I get myself a drink? I’ll be right back.”
Liam puts his arms out as I carefully hand him the baby to hold while I get myself a cold drink. I might not have fainted like he did but I still need something to help me over the shock. I pour a large glass of fresh orange and drink most of it in the kitchen before turning to head back through to the dining room.
Looking across the large wooden table I see the most precious amazing man holding my Down’s syndrome sister in his arms cradling her so gently and lovingly as she sucks contentedly on her bottle. As he looks down at her then over to me our eyes meet intensely as I smile across to him. As far as I am concerned he’s already a father in my eyes. A damn amazing and wonderful father too.
“When she’s finished drinking that I think she’s ready for a nap. Would you like to lie with her for a bit? The last 48 hours have been very eventful and I think a nap would do us all good. The sorting can wait an hour or so.”
I head over and kneel beside Liam and kiss his cheek, careful to not disturb Yasmin as her eyes are closing in Liam’s arms.
“I love you Liam Jude. Nothing that’s happened today changes that ok?”
He doesn’t say anything with his mouth but his eyes say all I need to hear. No Shaun Murphy or Lauren Bennet can come between us. No threats of social services, or being disowned from my family, or financial threats from an ex girlfriend, or even hearing of another woman carrying Liam’s child can tear apart our love. We need each other more now than ever. All three of us in desperate situations that somehow need to turn miraculously into something beautiful, even if I have no idea how right now.
If only I was back in St Mary’s chapel praying my rosary and looking at the Christ on the cross. I close my eyes for a second and feel myself back there praying with every fibre in my being.
Suddenly I understand why my dad always went to mass whenever mam got sick. He wasn’t running away, he was actually doing the only thing he knew to cope. |
Chapter 226
Liam
My head is thumping but looking down at the sleepy child in my arms my heart is breaking too. All I have ever wanted in life was to be loved and cared for. I assumed I’d get that from my mum and while she did her best she didn’t cope well with motherhood and leaving me with my aunt was her final betrayal of neglect really. Aunt Ella, bless her, gave me the security and support I’d never had, but by the time I came to live with her the damage was already done. I’d then looked for love in all the wrong places clinging absurdly to someone who really didn’t care or love me at all. But here in my arms, resting against my body, is an innocent baby who loves me unconditionally, trusts me totally and looks to me to love and protect her.
Then my eyes meet Megan’s as I look deep into her soul and see nothing but pure love and kindness. A woman full of innocence and truth, who sees the best in everyone and would give her life for someone she cared for. A woman of honour, gentleness and faith. A woman whose body might seem average to some but to me is the absolute epitome of perfection. A woman who I need and adore more than anyone in the world.
She understands me, connects with me, cares for me and is willing to stand with me even though another woman is carrying my child. She’s either crazy or besotted with me. Both seem equally ludicrous right now, though I admit my emotions are all over the place and my head is pounding so much I can hardly stay sitting up.
A lie down definitely seems the most sensible thing right now as Megan takes the sleeping child from me and I follow her slowly upstairs to bed. I have to fight against myself not to turn into my old room as I gaze into my aunt’s bedroom utterly heartbroken at the thought of never seeing her again. Megan puts the baby down and supports me to get in to bed too as I lie gazing in the dim light at Yasmin, reaching out to touch her face and stroke it to make sure I’m not dreaming. She’s so beautiful, so perfect, as I drift to sleep wondering what a baby of my own might look like.
I’ve no idea how long I’ve been sleeping for when Megan gently wakes me by kissing my forehead and saying my name. Waking to her kneeling on the bed beside me feels like heaven as she smiles down at me lovingly. Her warmth, her gentleness, her care are in such contrast to Lauren that I blink to make sure she’s real.
“I thought you might appreciate a coffee?”
Wow! She can even read my mind! I sit up in the bed, resting my back against the headboard as I reach for her hand and just hold it.
“Thank you.”
“You feeling any better now?”
“Yes, thanks. I’ll feel even better when I’ve drank this too. You ok?”
“Yip. I kept busy while you were sleeping. I took the bags from earlier downstairs and I’ve been quietly sorting through your aunt’s things in here while you and Yasmin napped. There’s three bin bags of your aunt’s clothing all bagged up for charity. I haven’t tied the bags incase there’s anything you wanted to keep, but otherwise they are good to go. You had a text on your phone from Mr Lyon’s at the co-op asking you to call him tomorrow at the office. Oh and Gareth called too but I told him you were not available and he said he’d call back later.”
I nod, processing the information slower than normal as I wake more and sip at the delicious coffee. It tastes amazing and instantly seems to revive me. I notice Megan isn’t drinking though.
“You didn’t make yourself a coffee or tea then?”
“I had one when you were sleeping. Made myself a sandwich too. I also googled charity shops. Do you think you’re ok to drive or would you let me drive? There’s a shop not too far from here. A Salvation Army one on Hoole Road. I thought we could maybe drop the bags in before they close tonight?”
“You could walk to that one it’s that close honey.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Parking is murder on that road too. How many bags did you say it was?”
“Three of your aunt’s clothes and two from your room. There’s another bag of rubbish too.”
“Is it all clothes, shoes and stuff?”
“The ones for charity yeah.”
“We might be better going to the big recycling bins at Tesco. That way there’s no hurry. Maybe after dinner we could go a little run in the car?”
“What about the rubbish bags?”
“We could take them to the tip tomorrow? It’s about ten minutes by car up at the Sealand industrial estate just on the outskirts of town. Be as well to do one big run if we can.”
Our voices must wake Yasmin as Megan turns to see her playing with the duvet cover.
“That sounds perfect. I’ve left your aunt’s bags just in here so you can check them. I’ll take Yasmin down and start dinner. You sure you feel ok to come downstairs yourself?”
“Yes. I’ll be fine. I’ll finish my coffee and come join you both.”
Megan walks round the bed to get Yasmin and picks her up but just as she’s heading out the room I hear the doorbell ring again.
“I’ll get that Liam. You stay there. Is the key in the door?”
“Should be.”
I drink the rest of my coffee in one long gulp, slide out of bed and head to the top of the stairs. What if it’s Lauren again? Surely even she wouldn’t come back twice in one day? |
Chapter 227
Megan
I’m keen to carry on with sorting out the house and keeping busy while Liam and Yasmin nap so I make myself a mug of tea and a sandwich and take them upstairs while I carefully open Liam’s aunt’s wardrobe and drawers and sort through her clothes. She was clearly a lady who looked after her things as every dress, skirt, blouse and jumper is in pristine condition and so neatly folded away. It seems so wrong to be touching someone else’s things but I know whatever Liam decides to do with the house neither him nor any buyer will want a wardrobe full of someone else’s personal things.
When I pop downstairs with my empty plate and mug I pick up my phone and do a quick search of charity shops in Chester. There’s so many of them though and it takes me several minutes to try and figure out which one might be the nearest to Westminster Street. I settle on the Salvation Army one eventually thinking that this might be somewhere Liam’s aunt might have approved of. Hearing Liam’s mobile ringing downstairs I rush back down to answer it before it wakes either Liam or Yasmin up. I’m relieved to hear it’s Gareth and I deliberately keep the conversation light and to the point promising to pass on that he called. When I finish the call I notice a missed text that I obviously didn’t hear from upstairs as I can’t help reading it and taking a note of it. I must remember to let Liam know when he’s awake.
I tidy up downstairs for a bit then make a coffee to take up to Liam. I hope he’s feeling better. Maybe a bit of fresh air and a ride in the car to the charity shop will do him the world of good. When Liam sits up I’m so happy to see he has a lot more colour in his cheeks and he seems a lot calmer. I update him on the missed call from Gareth and the text while he drinks his coffee and I gently suggest a run to the chairing shop before it closes. I had no idea the shop was as close as Liam says, though I still feel using the car would be easier then trying to carry heavy bin bags. Liam’s suggestion of the clothing bins at Tesco seems reasonable and I’m more than happy to be guided by him, especially as I don’t know Chester like he does.
I’m just carrying Yasmin downstairs after she wakes when I hear the doorbell go. After earlier I’m more nervous about answering than ever but at least with Liam upstairs if it is Lauren I can hopefully close the door on her before Liam ever sees her. I won’t allow him to be subjected to her abuse twice in one day!
To my huge relief it’s just Sandy and Jim from next door with some hot food for us all. I invite them in as I can’t manage the food and carry Yasmin as I am suddenly relieved that I tidied up earlier. As they head through to the dining room and into the kitchen to put the dishes down Liam comes downstairs looking as happy to see them as I was a minute or so previously.
“Beef casserole with dumplings. Hope that’s ok? There’s some crusty bread there too and some home made muffins for later. Ella was always helping us out. I feel awful that she was here all alone when she…you know…and we didn’t even realise. That service was lovely yesterday though. First I’ve been in church in years you know. I always had this fear of being judged and not being allowed in. Funny thinking about that though because Ella was the least judgemental person you could ever meet. It took her a long time to realise we were gay though. You remember that Liam? And the time at the garage?”
“Oh Sandy that day at the garage…you need to tell…Megan isn’t it? You’ve got to tell her about the garage story!”
I look at both the men more curious than ever as Liam pops round to the kitchen, leaning on the wall, and I guess from his expression he’s trying to recall the so called ‘garage story’ that the neighbours are already giggling about. Thankfully Sandy fills us in between giggles and having to pause to control his laughter.
“You know we have that double garage? Ella always used hers for her car and the people before us did the same in our side of the garage. We had other ideas though and turned ours into a gym…except we forgot to mention that to Ella. One weekend she was out at the garage hoovering her car and washing it and stuff and we were next door working out. Ella had her garage door open and Jim was right at the front of our side near the closed door on the rowing machine. Unbeknown to us Ella could hear the machine moving forwards and backwards and she could hear Jim panting and puffing. She could also hear us talking and I shouted over to Jim saying, ‘this is the best place for doing this isn’t it. So much more space to really enjoy it.’ Sandy panted back something about struggling to keep up with me. We had no idea of course that Ella was next door listening to us. I’d been drinking loads while working out and by the time I was finished on the treadmill I was bursting for the loo. Actually it was really bad, and not realising Ella was there right outside I opened the door to go back to the house holding myself like this. Well you can imagine what your poor aunt thought Liam…she stood there looking at me, her face as pink as a peony and this horrified expression on her face. At first I had no idea why she was looking at me the way she was but as I was practically pissing myself I started heading back to the house quickly. That’s when Ella shouted back to me like this…”
Both of the grown men are so consumed with laughter by this point that it’s contagious and starting to realise what Liam’s poor aunt must have thought was going on both Liam and myself look at each other and burst into laughter too. When Sandy starts putting his hands on his hips to show us what Ella Jude did I can’t stop the laughter as I anticipate what’s about to happen next.
“She was like ‘Sandy! Do you really think it’s appropriate to use a garage for…emm you know what….and it’s hardly appropriate to be..well, you know…touching yourself in public like that either! If you really want to use your garage for that would you please at least try and keep it down a bit. I’d appreciate that. It’s not that I have an issue with you being…liking Jim like that..it’s just….well I really think things like that should be done privately don’t you?”
It’s a good job Liam is standing against the wall as Sandy mimicking his aunt is causing him to laugh so hard he can hardly stand up as I have tears of laughter running down my cheeks too. Looking at Sandy still holding between his legs the way he was that time and thinking of him desperate to pee and stopped from doing so, albeit not deliberately, by Liam’s aunt also turns me on a fair bit too. I’m desperate to know what happened next as I calm myself enough to ask. Sandy resumes his crotch holding stance as before and continues on.
“Of course I suddenly realised what she must have thought was going on and my face went beetroot as I had to grab and squeeze myself so much as I was seriously needing to piss. I was just in a pair of cycling shorts and a t-shirt too that fitted snug as I could feel myself growing you know where…not for the reason Ella Jude was thinking but because I honestly was about to embarrass myself and make a puddle! I started pee dancing and trying unsuccessfully to convince your aunt that it was all innocent and she’d got the wrong end of the stick but the more I tried to tell her and the more I struggled not to piss myself in front of her the more it sounded even worse!”
Sandy is unable to continue for laughing as Jim manages to finish the story for us.
“Apparently Sandy said something about it being an emergency but that I had all the right equipment and we’d spent ages making sure everything was just where we wanted it and she could come and watch us if she wanted..he obviously meant working out but he was so bursting for the bathroom he wasn’t thinking straight and not realising he was just making things worse. When he started heading towards the house again before he had an accident he called back to her saying ‘you’ll probably hear us lots I’m afraid Miss Jude. It our favourite way of releasing stress you know!”
Since we’re all laughing I have to ask.
“So did you make it on time to the toilet?”
“Not really! I started leaking going up the stairs and had to put on clean shorts to go back to the garage. That was just the final straw though as Ella, who was the queen of observation, noticed right away and asked if everything was ok on my return. Since it was partly her fault I just matter of fact said ‘the other ones got a bit damp here. Nothing that can’t be washed though thankfully.” Of course at this poor Ella turned away and pulled her garage door down and went inside. It was days later before we saw her again but we did show her the gym and she was so mortified at herself especially when Sandy said he’d only been holding himself as he had to piss so bad. God she was a brilliant lady, she really was. We’ll never have another neighbour like her. One in a million.”
“I haven’t laughed so much in years. That was so funny! Do I need to heat the food or anything? You know we so appreciate you both popping in. I’ll never be able to look at your garage now though!”
Liam looks at me and winks.
“Maybe we need to try that rowing machine out eh Meg?”
“Just don’t go drinking two litres of water though eh! Right Jim we’d better leave these two to enjoy their dinner. We’re going up to the garage tonight..just in case you hear us…”
The neighbours leave to us all still laughing. It was just the tonic both Liam and myself needed, though I really need to get Liam to hold Yasmin for me as all that laughter has made me bursting to pee myself now! |
Chapter 228
Liam
I’d forgotten how much of a laugh Jim and Sandy could be! I’m not sure they’d ever told me the garage story before but Sandy’s impression of my aunt is so spot on I’m almost peeing myself with laughter. I can’t recall ever laughing this much in years and it really does seem to miraculously heal my headache from earlier. I’m glad to see them leave though as the earlier drink with lunch and coffee after my nap combined with so much laughter is making me just as desperate to piss as Sandy was in his story! As soon as I close the door I turn to rush upstairs to the loo only to be stopped in my tracks by Megan.
“Honey, please would you take Yasmin a minute. All that laughing has made me seriously need a wee!”
Before I can say anything back she’s practically thrown the baby at me and I chase behind her wondering what on earth I’m going to do! Holding Yasmin on my hip I am right behind Megan as she runs through the living room, then through the adjoining dining room and up the stairs. I need her to know that I have to go too…very badly!
“Meg wait! I was just about to go too! I need you to take Yasmin back! I’m absolutely bursting sweetheart.”
She doesn’t reply to me as I clamber up the stairs struggling with the baby and trying not to wet myself. Megan pushes the bathroom door open as I gasp at the sight of the toilet facing me. I can’t wait for Megan to go first. I just can’t! I can feel my penis actually shaking in urgency and about to burst any second!
“Megan! No! You don’t understand babe. I’m about to do it in my trousers here! Please take Yasmin…please…”
She doesn’t reply though as I watch her turn, pull her skirt up and her knickers down in one furious action as she starts peeing loudly before her bottom even reaches the toilet pan. It’s more than I can bare as I put Yasmin on the bathroom floor, push the door shut so she can’t crawl out and pull my joggers down from the waist as I grab my leaking penis with both hands and panic as I look around trying to work out what to do. The sound of Megan peeing loudly is vibrating in my ears mixed with the internal sound of my own heart racing as the room swirls in front of my eyes as I try to focus and hold on as another spurt pushes out.
“Don’t piss on the baby Liam!”
I stumble backwards trying to get as far away from Yasmin as I can to avoid even accidentally peeing on her as I lean against a door, turn to see where I am, pull the door open and immediately let go of my very full bladder into the shower cubicle. For over a minute my urine surges out at speed splashing around the bottom of the cubicle and draining out through the plug hole. The relief is so euphoric and incredible that I can’t help but sigh contentedly as my body and brain relax fully and my body feels so free and wonderful. It’s like I’m in my own fantasy world somewhere, a world of unicorns and rainbows where my football team never loses and I’m the absolute centre of the universe. For the duration of the time I am pissing nothing else matters as I momentarily forget where and even who I am. Fuck did I need that!
“You can stop now you know!”
I turn around to see Megan sitting on the toilet smiling like the cat who got the cream as she starts laughing again just like she was downstairs.
“What’s so funny?”
“The way you walked backwards into the shower cubicle babe! I wish I could have videoed it! I mean you did live here for…how many years? And you forgot the shower was there and walked into it? At least you missed the baby though!”
“Ok! Ok! Well in my defence your honour I was dying to piss and someone was hogging the toilet. So I lost my bearings a little! I was just so single minded and consumed with my pressing need ok? It was a little…well a pretty huge actually…emergency that I faced. Can you pass me some loo roll by the way? I want to catch that mess I made before Yasmin crawls in it.”
Stepping out the shower towards Megan as she passes me some toilet roll our hands touch and I feel something sexual and exciting between us as our eyes meet and sparkle. I bend down to wipe up the mess I left then look up at Megan from the floor as she stands astride the toilet to wipe herself. I can’t help myself staring at her dripping vagina as her clitoris is obvious and her vaginal lips all red and puffy. I’m very aware the baby is in the room with us but staring at such a beautiful body part has given me such a huge erection and I can’t keep quiet about what’s in front of my eyes.
“God you have such a stunning vagina Megan. Have I ever told you that? I could sit her and gaze up at it forever. You are one hell of a sexy woman!”
“I can’t recall anyone saying anything like that to me in Saint Mary’s chapel now you mention it. Though there was this English man once…a bit older than me, right handsome fellow, works for North Down Borough Council. I have a vague recollection of him saying I was beautiful…though I like to think he was meaning in general rather than just my vagina specifically.”
She finishes wiping as I gaze unashamedly still, frozen to the spot by the incredible view in front of my eyes.
“I expect he was referring to every last bit of you. Beautiful…yes I think that’s definitely a good word to describe you.”
Megan smiles down at me as she laughs and then steps over me to wash her hands. She turns to look at me as she lathers her hands with soap.
“Need a hand up?”
I turn to my side and look down at my crotch, my huge erection pointing directly at Megan very obviously as I look back up at her.”
“Part of me is most definitely up already don’t you think?”
With her soapy hands she reaches down to help me stand as I can’t resist standing right beside her at the sink, my hard penis rubbing against her. Smiling teasingly at my best friend and lover I grab the soap dispenser and pump some into my palms before turning on the hot tap.
“Ha! You might have beaten me to the toilet but I bet you to the sink!”
“That’s what you think! I was here first! You cheated because I helped you up!”
She splashes some warm water onto my top like a little kid egging me on. It’s playful, sexy and telling me everything I need to know: She wants this every bit as much as I do! I splash her back right on her breasts then pretend to apologise by grabbing a towel and dabbing at the damp spots I made.
“I really should check this hasn’t went right through you know.”
“Definitely. You could have burnt me you know!”
Her eyes are twinkling so much, her cheeks flushed and her smile is huge as I slowly feel under her top with my fingers supposedly checking her top but instead feeling and exploring her very ample breasts and delightful nipples.
“You don’t mind if I look a little closer do you? Just to make sure I haven’t missed any damage.”
“If you must.”
I bend down so Megan’s taut nipples are right in my eye line as I step even closer to her and circle them with my tongue before sucking each one in turn, loving how her nipples grow and harden in my mouth and feeling my penis shaking up and down in need in my joggers. I’m simply loving the foreplay and teasing between us, but I equally fear my penis isn’t going to hold back much longer as it rubs Megan’s leg like a cat demanding attention. Hearing Megan sigh in contentment spurs me on even more.
“Everything seems perfectly ok thankfully.”
“Oh that’s good to know. I suppose I should take the baby and have a look at that casserole the neighbours left then. You hungry? I know I definitely am.”
I wait while Megan steps away from the sink before blocking her leaving with my body, quickly doing a visual check on the baby to make sure she’s ok before using my hands and body to pin Megan playfully against the bathroom wall.
“Oh I am most definitely hungry Megan…but not just for beef casserole!”
I lean in and kiss her as she responds exactly as I expected as out tongues go deep into each other’s mouths and our hands caress and explore wildly. I don’t know what exactly has made Megan so horny but whatever it is I hope it happens again…and again…and again. In all my 16 years of living here I have never had such an enjoyable and sexy visit to this bathroom ever! |
Chapter 229
Megan
Thinking of the neighbour bursting, combined with so much laughter and my own desperate bladder has me so wet and warm that seeing how Liam is when I finally burst over the toilet, only just making it in time, makes me so horny and needy. The sexy teasing and spark between us just escalates and by the time Liam sucks my nipples I could cheerfully fuck a cactus I’m that ravenous for sex! Liam’s very obvious bulge in his joggers is just the icing on the cake so I’m thrilled when Liam kisses me so deeply I almost choke on his tongue. If this is what a day time nap does for him then I’m spending the rest of my life singing lullabies to him after lunch! God he better not leave me like this now though…I need fulfilled…I need to finish what’s been started!
Being held against the bathroom wall by Liam is exciting and exhilarating as I hear my own heart beating so loudly I fear it might pop open. The roughness of his pulling my skirt and knickers down doesn’t worry me at all as I want what he wants every bit as urgently. My fanny feels on fire I’m that ready and I throb faster and faster as Liam slides his fingers quickly inside me as he pulls his joggers and underwear down with one hand before holding my neck and kissing my ear lobe.
“You ok with this?”
I can’t speak so I just nod and smile at him as my hips pulsate backwards and forwards against the wall longing to have something to grip inside them. As if he suddenly gets the message Liam pulls his fingers gently out and stands between my legs guiding his shaft to where we both need it to go. Watching over his shoulders to make sure the baby is still ok I allow his dick to freely enter me, my vaginal lips stretching and folding around it like pastry around a sausage, my body basking in the attention and responding exactly like it was created to do.
Liam is gently but firm as he slides in and out, first tentatively and carefully but then much more urgent and quicker. My body follows his lead as it squelches and warns more with each movement. I feel it building closer and closer as Liam holds my arms up against the bathroom tiles as he thrusts in and out easier and deeper each time. Watching his face is so erotic as his lips tremble and shake, sweat drops build on his forehead and his mouth opens and closes as he gives himself entirely to me, clearly enjoying every moment. I’m the more than willing participant, the happy slave, the delighted girlfriend as I almost lose my breath as things suddenly escalate quickly. My G-spot has been triggered and there’s now no return as my legs shake and my breathing shallows.
“It’s about to cum sweetheart.”
He didn’t need to tell me as I can feel his penis changing, shaking, twitching, inside my body faster and harder until I feel it explode inside of me as my own body shakes and reaches its climax just after my lovers. I know Liam has ejaculated not just because I feel it come into my womb but because he relaxes his hold on my arms allowing them to fall down to my sides freely. I feel so happy, so relieved, so fulfilled, as Liam steps towards the toilet and wipes the top of his half erect penis before flushing the loo. Meanwhile I pull up my knickers and skirt and quickly wash my hands again before picking up the baby, who has been practicing pulling herself to standing using the side of the bath and looking into it happily, and open the bathroom door to go downstairs. I hear Liam washing his hands and drying them before following me down as I turn around in the small kitchen and see him right beside me.
“How about I dish this casserole up and we can microwave it a little to heat it back up? It might be easier in pudding or soup bowls if your aunt has any anywhere?”
Sitting down at the dining table I feed my baby sister as we enjoy a delicious meal with a side of crusty bread and butter and then Liam brings in the muffins for pudding. We’re all full and happy and it’s temping to rest for the remainder of the evening watching TV or playing with the baby but then I remember the bags upstairs and so we all head back to the main bedroom where I change the baby while Liam checks through his aunt’s clothes from earlier that I bagged up. He ties all the bags and we carry them downstairs and sit them by the patio doors at the back of the house while Liam returns for the ones from his room too. It’s a lovely spring evening and still daylight as I carry Yasmin out in her car seat and Liam goes back and forth several times to the house for all the bin-bags. With the boot and back seat both full Liam gets in the driving seat and is about to start the engine when we hear a voice.
“You up for doing it differently tonight then Jim? I reckon it’s time for more don’t you? No holding back now. I want to see you give me your all ok?”
I look at Liam as we both burst out laughing again. Even knowing the garage next door is set up as a gym doesn’t stop us thinking something else entirely as Liam winks at me and I double over in laughter once again.
This being in England isn’t anything like I expected it to be. It’s much funnier, happier and freer than my life back in Bangor as I realise that for once I’ve hardly thought about anyone at home for most of the day. I still miss them but the ache isn’t nearly as raw as it was the day I left home just 5 nights ago. As we drive to the Tesco car park to the recycling bins it feel symbolic to be removing so much of Liam’s past life and throwing it into a huge green bin. Whatever the future faces for us this few days in England feels like a turning point in so many ways. |
Chapter 231
Megan
All day long I’ve been trying my best not to think about it, even trying to convince myself it didn’t actually happen. Keeping busy while Liam and Yasmin napped and then having such a great laugh when Jim and Sandy pop over all help, but yet deep down it’s still there haunting me. Even while we make love in the bathroom I only need to glance over at Yasmin to remember it all over again. The man who just yesterday talked about us getting married has another woman, a woman who clearly despises both me and my sister and spent the last 11 years controlling and abusing my boyfriend, pregnant. I love Liam so much but I want him to be all mine. I want him as far away from Lauren Bennet as physically possible, but now she has more of a hold over him than ever. Now she can offer him something that right now I can’t: his own child.
Over dinner ever time I look at him my heart stings. He’s my man, my lover, my partner and having made love just before coming downstairs just thinking of him with Lauren feels even worse. I reason with myself as I feed Yasmin and eat myself that it all happened before he met me, before he even came to Ireland, but then my anxiety takes over and I can’t help thinking what else has he done before meeting me? How many other woman did he sleep with? Coming to England has made me realise there’s so much about Liam Jude that I don’t really know. I finally realise why my own family were angry and adamant I shouldn’t come. What if Liam had been a criminal or a sexual predator, or an axe murderer even? I put myself and my baby sister in an extremely vulnerable position without even thinking just because I fancied an English man who I hardly even knew! How will this look to the social services that my family have now called?
I’m glad when Liam goes to answer his phone while I’m drying Yasmin after her bath. Being so close to him in the very room we made love in just hours before is unsettling me and hearing him talking to Yasmin in the bath makes me want to vomit as I visualise him with that despicable Lauren cooing together over their own child as they bath him or her. I’m so afraid of losing Liam to Lauren and their baby. Why would he stay with me over her when she has everything: money, a huge house, influence, a catwalk figure, and most of all his child. I dry and dress Yasmin and take her downstairs for her final bottle of milk as I feel an overwhelming sense of wanting to protect her. Once I get back to Bangor I really must look for somewhere to live with Yasmin away from Liam. It would be too cruel for her to continue to bond with Liam only for him to dump her for his own child in six months time. As much as it breaks my heart I need to protect her, and myself. Better to do it now before things get any more serious. Better to have us settled somewhere before Liam’s baby is born.
I had hoped to feed Yasmin her bottle then take her up to bed and then just join her. It’s been a long day and I’m tired and emotional. But Yasmin just isn’t sleepy and after her milk she sits up wide awake wanting to play. I sit her on the floor assuming Liam will be on the phone a while and I can still avoid him. He doesn’t need to know my thoughts. Not tonight anyway.
But then he sits beside me putting his arm around me. It’s cosy and romantic but I feel like a fraud. The relief I feel when he goes to make tea is incredible, though I feel terrible keeping my thoughts from him. I know he loves me but I just can’t see how we can continue to act like nothing has changed? Then he gets down on the floor with the baby making her laugh and playing with her and my defence starts to crack. He really will make such a great father. Maybe that was why God brought us together? Maybe he just needed Yasmin as practice before his own child came along? Could God be so cruel to use us like that? Watching my baby sister crawling so comfortably across Liam’s legs my words come out my mouth confirming my own heartbreak.
“You’ll make a great dad you know.”
It stings like a stabbing wound right through my heart as my eyes well up out-with my control.
But then, as if in slow motion, I watch as Liam stands up with the baby, leaning over towards the fireplace for his tea and I watch on in horror as the mug of hot liquid slips suddenly right out his hand firing all over the fire-surround, the carpet, and worst of all on my precious baby sister! Her ear piercing screaming tells me instantly that she’s hurt as I grab her out of Liam’s hands and race her to the kitchen to run her legs under cold water.
I know it was an accident but somehow it feels like it might be the very sign I need. I need to be able to prove to social services that I can look after my sister and provide her with a safe and stable home. Having her legs burnt by hot tea hardly proves either of those!
Listening to my sister clinging to me and screaming as I pull off her clothing and run cold water over her thin little legs making her shiver and cry the tears from minutes ago now flow freely and thickly. I don’t even know the way to hospital should I need to take her! Why the heck did I agree to come to England? Why did I ever leave home? |
Chapter 232
Liam
Coming to my senses I rush into the kitchen to grab a cloth and tea towel to clean the mess. I know the child is far more important than any carpet stains but I also know Megan has her sister and there’s nothing else I can do. The carpet appears to be fine, whip is more than can be said for Megan and Yasmin as I return to the kitchen with the empty mug and clothes and stare silently and helplessly at the screaming child and my crying girlfriend.
“It was an accident.”
I’m not sure she believes me and it’s impossible to truly read her expression for all her tears as I swallow hard and shake with distress.
“Is she ok?”
“I’m not sure. Is there a first aid kit here anywhere?”
I start searching for any signs of a first aid kit trying to think if I even know where my aunt would keep one or if she even had one. I pull every kitchen cupboard open and finally find a green first aid box under the sink. Opening it up on the counter behind Megan I stare at the contents not even sure what I’m looking for.
“Right that’s been approximately 10 mins I think. Can you pass me a towel please.”
Yasmin is still crying loudly, hopefully due to shock and the cold water more than the burns, as Megan lies her on the kitchen floor and dries her legs carefully with the towel. I pick up the first aid box and kneel beside her stroking the baby’s hair in a vain attempt to comfort her.
“I’m looking for a bandage, if there’s any.”
“This ok?”
“Yes. That looks perfect. Nothing that will stick to the skin or anything. Just something to keep it dry and infection free so it can heal. Thankfully it doesn’t look serious.”
Megan cuts the thin plastic wrapping with her teeth and then begins gently wrapping her sister’s leg with the bandage.
“Right, if you could cut it about here and then see if there’s any tape. It should be white. It’s usually a small roll called micropore tape. That’s it. I’ll hold the bandage if you could stick it down. Perfect. Now I’ll do the other leg.”
Yasmin is still crying, though not as intensely thankfully, as Megan picks her up to cuddle her and comfort her.
“Can you nip upstairs and get her a clean babygrow please Liam? There should be one in my backpack. And the blanket off the buggy too please.”
I do exactly as instructed and then help Megan very carefully dress the baby again as Yasmin rubs her eyes and her chest heaves from all the crying. Megan stands up with her walking up and down the dining room trying to settle her. I put the first aid kit away and then stand helplessly watching. I can’t believe I hurt the baby. What sort of person does that to an innocent child? I just feel so utterly hopeless and helpless as I sit at the dining table facing Megan, trying to hold it together but failing miserably.
With the baby on her shoulder wrapped in the blanket Megan paces up and down the dining room trying to settle her sister. The little sobs from Yasmin are breaking my heart as the guilt of what happened overwhelms me.
“Should we take her to hospital?”
“We’d be there for hours Liam. It’s superficial so nothing more they can do. I just wish I could take the pain away from her. It must sting so bad.”
“Can babies not take pain killers?”
“Oh God! I never even thought of that. Can you hold her a minute. I think there might be some infant paracetamol in the changing bag. I picked it up one day when she was teething really bad. There might be some left.”
Holding the baby for the first time since I accidentally hurt her is more comforting than I expected as I hug the child close and whisper my apologies to her. She looks so tired, her eyes all red and puffy and her hair all wet with sweat. I can’t help wondering if she might be thirsty after all her crying as I find a bottle in the kitchen and ask her if she wants some milk. Of course I know she can’t talk but her eyes and actions communicate so much and when she reaches for the bottle I realise what she wants. Putting some milk in like I’ve watched Megan do so many times I realise that she’s finally stopped crying and she’s watching me as I count the numbers down on the microwave to keep her distracted. I check the milk isn’t too hot then let her hold it as she instantly puts it to her mouth and sucks. Carrying her through the dining room towards the living room I see Megan come down with something in her hands.
“I found some. It’s individual sachets and they are in date too. I’ll get a spoon and be right with you.”
I nod and carry on walking through to the lounge where I sit on the very sofa Megan was on just half an hour earlier nursing the baby in my arms. Megan comes through with a plastic spoon and asks me to sit Yasmin up. She objects at first but Megan is adept at enticing her and soon she has successfully managed to get some pain relief into her. I pray silently that this will make her more comfortable and that she’ll be ok.
“I’ll just put this in the bin and wash the spoon. You ok with her still?”
I nod and allow the baby to rest once again in my arms. She sucks the bottle and bit longer before her heavy eyes begin closing. I stroke her beautiful little face just like I remember doing one day at the back of Saint Mary’s chapel in Bangor as I find myself gently singing the song that always comes to my mind every time I’m with Yasmin. This time it’s me crying sorrowfully and in huge relief that she’s ok as I sing to the child, who in every single way now feels like my own daughter.
“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
I don’t even see or hear Megan come back in but suddenly she’s kneeling in front of me looking at her sister in my arms crying every bit as much as I am.
“It really was an accident Megan. I love Yasmin so much. I’d never hurt her. Or you.”
Through tears she looks at me right in the eye, then down at Yasmin then right back to me.
“But she’s not yours. You might feel differently when your own child is born.”
I wipe my face with my sleeve as my nose runs so much from all my crying and I don’t want to disturb the baby. It’s not a good look and this isn’t my finest moment by a long long way but what I have to say is important and I don’t want it interrupted by snot.
“As far as I am concerned she is my own child. I am serious when I say this Megan, but if your mum and dad don’t feel that can look after her and social services agree you can, then once we get married, which I want to do very soon, I would love to adopt Yasmin, provided you would want me to.”
“What about Lauren Bennet though?”
“I won’t ever be getting back with Lauren. Ever. I want to be involved with my child, one hundred percent, that is never in doubt, but she doesn’t control me now. I won’t ever allow that anymore. Being with you has taught me what real love is. I’ll always be there for the child she’s carrying because I have to face up to my responsibilities and whatever she says or does that little baby inside her isn’t to blame. But you and me, together, we can provide that baby with the stability and security and family life that I already know it won’t get from the Bennet’s. And this little wonderful girl here..well I can’t think of a better step sister for any child. Megan, please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you and I definitely never meant to hurt Yasmin tonight either.”
Megan rests her head on my knees before she takes my spare hand in both of hers as she uses my hand to help herself stand and then sits beside me. Quietly and thoughtfully she continues holding my hand in hers as she looks at me. I’m waiting for her answer but there’s a silence between us that makes me worry.
I’ve said all I can. I just need to hear her reply now…. |
Chapter 233
Megan
Thankfully it looks like any burns have been very minor, though still extremely distressing for my sister. At least there’s a proper first aid kit here too so I can wrap her little legs up and keep then clean. Putting fresh clothes on her and wrapping her up in a blanket to warm her up I’m still very upset as I pace the dining room trying to settle Yasmin. I do know it was an accident and my anger is slowly subsiding the more I walk and the more I see Liam looking so upset and remorseful but I’m tired and emotional and long to see Yasmin settled and pain free.
What sort of sister am I to not even think about painkillers for her? Racing upstairs I pray to every saint I can think of that there will be calpol in the changing bag and that it will be usable. In my stress and haste I literally tip the entire contents of the bag on the bedroom floor as I rummage quickly to find what I want. I can’t hear the baby crying anymore but that makes me even more panicky. Is she conscious? Is she breathing? Is she choking? I race back down with a sachet of infant paracetamol relieved to see Liam carrying a much calmer Yasmin in his arms heading into the living room. I grab a spoon and, after a little persuasion, I finally manage to get my baby sister to swallow a teaspoon of liquid that I hope will ease her pain. I leave her with my boyfriend while I return to the kitchen briefly to wash the spoon and dispose of the rubbish.
On my return I’m not even inside the living room when I hear the beautiful sound of Liam singing. I pause for a moment wiping my face and trying to compose myself. Is it too late? Have Liam and Yasmin bonded so much that leaving Liam now will rip both their hearts in two? Am I being unfair to Liam in punishing him for something he did before he even knew
Yasmin or myself even existed? It’s all such a mess as I walk into the room and my heart skips seeing Yasmin almost asleep, content and finally settled again in Liam’s arms. I kneel in front of the baby looking at her all cuddled into Liam as my eyes fill with tears again. Yasmin doesn’t understand what Liam has done and she doesn’t care, she just loves him anyway, exactly as I know God would as I feel a heavy conviction in my heart telling me to forgive and keep loving just as my baby sister is showing me. ‘And a little child will lead them…” repeats in my mind as I look at Liam and then back to Yasmin.
Liam apologies again and tells me he loves Yasmin and would never hurt her. I want to believe him with all my heart but what about when his own baby is here? Will he then abandon us both for his own child? I ask him outright and listen as he gives an honest heartfelt reply. He has this idealistic view of us as a family which is so hard for me to imagine right now , though I know he’s just trying to convey what he really wants the future to look like. I guess deep down somewhere I have this terrifying fear that he’ll one day feel Yasmin is too much as her needs become more obvious and she’s not what Liam might imagine. Does he have any knowledge of Downs Syndrome and the fact Yasmin is likely to need life long support? Does he know what he’s truly committing to?
I hold his hand in mine searching for the right words, thinking about all he’s just said.
“I think she would make a great big sister one day but…you do understand about her extra chromosome don’t you? The reason mam and dad feel they can’t look after her? You have to promise me Liam, with all your heart, that you’ll never ever discard her in favour of your own child, because of her disability. A commitment to raising a child like Yasmin is so much more than just ordinary parenting. I’m sure she’ll surprise us in so many ways but she will need so much more support, not just as a child but right into adulthood too. She’ll face discrimination, she may well need to go to special school and sadly she may be made fun of by others. Are you willing and able to take that on? Of course I forgive you for earlier and I’m sorry I shouted at you. She’s ok now and that’s what matters most. It’s been a very long day though so how about we talk more tomorrow? Yasmin has the right idea going to sleep. You ok to take her to bed? I’m just going to get a drink of water. Would you like one?”
“Yes please. Do you want the blanket over her in bed?”
“No. She’d get too hot. The duvet is more than enough. Her cot blanket at home was not even as thick as the duvet. She’s been sleeping great considering she’s not been in her usual cot. It’s not ideal having her in the big bed but it’s the safest thing for now.”
Liam stands up with the baby cradled in his arms as he heads upstairs to put her to bed.
“I’ll be back down. I need to put my phone on charge and check the doors and stuff. Can you leave my drink on the table if you’re coming up?”
I nod, but once in the kitchen I have second thoughts about going straight upstairs and carry both glasses of water to the dining table. I have something else I really need to talk about with Liam and I’ll sleep much better if I can bring it up tonight before we go to bed. |
Chapter 234
Liam
Megan’s answer gives me so much to think about. To me Yasmin is just…well Yasmin really. I don’t know what babies are meant to do at different ages so I couldn’t even tell you if she was meeting milestones or not. Does any of that matter anyway? Though the thought she might get bullied does terrify me I admit. Why worry about adult life though when she’s only what, 1 year old? Surely there’s plenty time to deal with that later in life? I admit my knowledge on Down Syndrome is extremely limited but I’m happy to learn if needed and if it helps Yasmin.
I carry the baby up and put her carefully in the bed expecting Megan to come up at any moment. Assuming she’s maybe in the loo or delayed downstairs I return back down to the main rooms to check everything is locked for the night and to get my phone charger. Walking back through the dining room I find Megan sitting at the table with just the kitchen light on drinking a glass of water. I go to pick up the glass she’s poured for me and I’m just heading towards the stairs when Megan calls me back.
“Liam, can you sit down a minute. It won’t take long. There’s something I haven’t told you that I think you should know.”
Curious and worried I sit down opposite Megan putting my glass on the table.
“I’m all yours. It’s nothing bad is it? I feel like I’ve had more than my fair share of bad news lately.”
“Sorry.”
“So what is it babe?”
“Do you remember when I told you that I made my mam sick? How after I was born she had terrible post natal depression?”
“Yeah. Go on…”
“Did I ever tell you that when she was pregnant with me the doctors told mam there was something wrong with me? I was the 6th baby and mam already had 5 with Shaun, the oldest, not even 9 yet when she found out she was pregnant again. She was terrified that I might be ill or handicapped or have to go into special care or something and that caused her huge anxiety and stress that made her depressed before I was even born. Then even though I was born fine she struggled to bond with me because she was worried I might get sick or die or something. Apparently I looked fine and I was eating and sleeping and all that like I should but as I grew people started asking mam if I was ok because I was later to do stuff than the others were. Mam then blamed herself which made her post natal depression even worse and then I got even less attention and things just went from bad to worse apparently.
Mam, apparently, would lie to the health visitor or doctors saying I could do things I couldn’t when they would test me and I failed things. She would say I was just tired that day or hungry or shy and she hated the fact people wanted involved to keep an eye on me. She took it personally like she was a bad mam. Anyway, one time when I was young I had this appointment at hospital. I only have a very vague memory of it as I must have only been about 4 or 5. I remember being weighed on this machine and having my height taken and having a tape measure around my head. My mam was asked so many questions and she was getting more and more stressed and I remember thinking she would start shouting at me because of it like she always did. Anyway, one thing I do remember was that that day I was diagnosed with a hereditary genetic condition. I have it quite mild and it was some random thing because no-one else in the whole family has it. ‘Spontaneous mutation’ or something it’s called. It’s why all the others did great at school,and I struggled more. I got some exams but nothing like the others. Dad always said it didn’t matter because I could just stay at home and help mam out. He said maybe I could be a cleaner or carer or something and eventually I did get a job in a factory and they even put me through my drivers test so I could do deliveries.
Anyway, so I always knew I had this condition but no-one ever spoke about it. I didn’t even remember the name of it. Then one night I was watching TV with mam and dad and Theresa and this programme was on about sick kids. There was this boy having a leg amputated and they mentioned his condition and dad just looked at me and said so matter of factly.
“That’s the same thing you have Megan. Thank God you only got it mild though.”
I wrote the name on my phone and googled it. One of the things I found out was that it’s hereditary and there’s a high chance if I ever have a baby that they might have it too. They might get it mild like I have but they might get it bad. I really want my own children but I thought you should know. I’ll understand completely if you would rather you didn’t want children with me now. It was just when you said earlier about Yasmin being a big sister. I know you probably meant to Lauren’s child but…well I felt you should know.”
I’m struggling to take all this in. How can one day change everything so much? I have so many unanswered questions, so many thoughts whirling around my mind, yet I don’t feel now is the time to even begin to make sense of any of them. I sip at my water silently just looking at Megan in front of me. Out of 9 children how did she have to be the one to have this random condition? It seems so cruel, so unfair. I reach out my hand and place it on top of hers to try and offer some comfort and understanding.
“But you’re not ill or anything are you?”
“No, not at all.”
“And you won’t get sick in a few years or anything like my mum?”
“We’ll apparently it is known as a progressive condition but as I have reached 22 and not had any complications then it’s very likely I won’t get any now. I used to see a paediatrician once a year but that stopped a good number of years ago now and I don’t have to take medication or anything. It’s just…well I guess it’s just a name really for why I am not as smart as my siblings and why I’m maybe a little smaller than average and…well maybe you haven’t really noticed, but I have some marks on my skin too. But the boy on the programme had the same thing and he had to have his entire leg amputated. It just makes you think I guess. Would that be what I’d want for my child? But it’s so hard because then there’s Yasmin and her Downs Syndrome and that was spontaneous too but she’s unlikely to pass that down to her kids, though she might not have any anyway.”
“But you can have children can’t you?”
“No-ones ever told me otherwise, not that I’ve been trying or anything. I get my period every month so I assume everything is working ok. I just felt you should know being as you’ve been talking about us getting married and having kids. I don’t want you being disappointed or shocked if we had a child with…difficulties.”
“So…is there like someone you can go to to check if, I don’t know, maybe if you were pregnant they could perhaps check if the baby was ok?”
“I don’t know. But if you’re serious about being together and trying for a child, though that’s already sort of happened with Lauren, then I suppose I could try and find out more.”
“Only if you want to. I want to be with you Megan. That’s not even up for debate, but let’s take a day at a time ok? You’re ok and right now that means everything to me. Are you wanting to come to bed now? I’m going to head up. I do love you sweetheart. Try not to worry about everything though. Ok?” |
Chapter 235
Megan
It feels strange talking about my condition to Liam as it’s not something I really think about or ever discuss with anyone. It’s no-one else’s business really, except maybe now it might be. Liam takes the news surprisingly well and as we head up to bed I actually wonder if it’s all too good to be true.
Yasmin sleeps all night which amazes me given how much distress she was in last night. I decide against bathing her this morning and instead just wash her down, being careful to avoid her bandaged legs. After breakfast Liam suggests clearing out his aunt’s paperwork in her room and in the boxes in what would be the breakfast bar. This turns out to be great timing as when he returns the call to the administrator dealing with his aunt’s estate he’s able to supply so many more details of a savings account, her birth certificate, life insurance and so much else. We start a pile of papers that we expect the co-op might need and throw out old bank statements and letters that have accumulated over time. Yasmin isn’t at all keen on the noise of the shredder that Liam finds in his aunt’s garage but one of us does our best to keep her distracted as much as possible while the other shreds what we need to.
By mid morning the area by the kitchen and the dining table are a mess of paperwork and photos and places that need to be informed of Ella’s passing. I make us some tea and bring in some juice and biscuits for Yasmin and us as we both deliberately keep the hot drinks as far away from Yasmin as possible. I’m just clearing up from our mid morning snack when the door bell goes. I answer with Yasmin in my arms getting such a fright when I see two police officers standing in front of me. I call through to Liam, who is just as shocked to see them as I am. They ask to come in and Liam nods before closing the door behind them. Yasmin clings to me more than ever, clearly unsure what’s happening and perhaps sensing my own unease too.
Liam invites them to sit down and just like the minister and funeral director did on Sunday afternoon they sit together on the two seater couch under the living room window. The male officer appears to be checking the house out looking all around and eyeing up both myself and Liam suspiciously while his female companion appears to be far more fixated on Yasmin.
The older male takes out a small pad from his top pocket and turns a few pages before directing his attention to me.
“Can you confirm that you are Miss Megan Murphy and the child with you is Yasmin Murphy?”
I nod.
“Could you please confirm verbally madam.”
“Yes. I am Megan Murphy and this is my younger sister Yasmin. Can I ask what this is about please?”
The make officer looks at the female one before replying.
“An anonymous allegation has been made in relation to the safety of the child from someone in Ireland. We have been asked by social services there to do a welfare check on her.”
I look at Liam who looks visible shaken.
“How did you find out where I was?”
The female office, still watching Yasmin like a hawk, answers first.
“Did you not inform the child’s parents where you were going? Have you got their permission to have the child? Given the allegations made your location was traced by officers back in Ireland from information from the family, CCTV from the ferry and tracing your mobile phone. Combined with some basic detective work of funerals nearby and it was a rather basic operation Miss Murphy.”
I can feel the colour draining from my whole body as I steady myself and sit on the other couch holding Yasmin on my knee. Hardly able to look at the officers I instead busy myself with my sister while I hesitantly and fearfully ask the officers.
“What are the allegations exactky?
It’s the male officer who now answers.
“They are concerned about the child’s whereabouts and welfare. We are simply here to check the child appears safe and well and to look over her and to check she will be returned to her family in Ireland.”
Liam, standing up by the fireplace looking aghast at the situation, tries to stay calm and in control.
“We have tickets for the overnight ferry on Thursday evening. I have a flat in Bangor and a full time job there. Megan has a job there too. We only came over here because my aunt suddenly passed away and I am the executor of her estate, so Megan is helping me sort out her affairs. She’s been living with me in Bangor since last Thursday and brought her sister with her due to circumstances at home. She’s been caring for her sister since she was born and at no point has anyone ever had any cause for concern. I can show you the ferry tickets on my phone if that’s any help.”
The police officers look at each other as if confirming something as they nod in unison.
“We are already aware of your aunt from our investigations. And StelaLine also told us that you had return tickets. You are, of course, Mr Jude, free to do as you like. Our only concern is the welfare of the child. Would it be possible to check her over and see her Miss Murphy?”
Shit! Why couldn’t they have checked her yesterday before the accident with the tea? How do I explain her bandaged legs without them thinking she’s unsafe with me. Refusing to have her checked will only make things worse. I can’t believe my own family would do this as I stand up and gently hand my baby sister to police officers she’s never met and who actually think she’s not being looked after.
I step back to the sound of her crying loudly as I look over at Liam tearfully.
Mam is too sick to have done this. Dad isn’t the type. This has Shaun Murphy’s fingerprint all over it. I couldn’t hate my brother more right now if I tried! |
Chapter 236
Liam
Wednesday started out so well too. After a short phone call with the solicitor at the co-op I set about, with Megan’s help, looking out all my aunt’s paperwork. It feels so intrusive at first, like I’m spying on my dear aunt or something, but Megan keeps reminding me that as hard as it is it’s a job that really needs done.
Megan is so organised and her idea of three piles; one for the bin, one for the solicitor and one for anything I might want to keep, works great and I’m so glad my aunt had her paperwork mostly in order. Although not a hoarder in other ways finding bank statements from 5 years ago does make me smile. I’m not even sure I have my last one let alone the ones from so long ago! We come across so many things that I’ve never seen before including my aunt’s original birth certificate, various instruction manuals, and more significant, a life insurance policy.
My aunt would have a fit if she walked into the house right now though as there’s papers on the floor, more on the dining table and piles that both Megan and myself take turns shredding as the noise distresses the baby so much. Mid morning Megan takes Yasmin into the kitchen while I shred a few other old things before we take a break for drinks and biscuits. Over our tea, which I keep well out of the child’s reach this time, I show Megan a few photos I found of my mum and my aunt with my grandparents and me as a baby with my aunt, some of which I don’t ever remember seeing before. Megan takes the empty mugs and the plate back through to the kitchen and I return back to the boxes to sort out some more in preparation for the solicitor calling round later. I hear the door bell go but think nothing of it as Megan takes the baby through to see who it is.
Assuming it’s perhaps the neighbours again, or the postman, or even the solicitor coming early, I get up off the floor to pop into the living room and see who it is. Whoever it is Megan hasn’t invited them in yet so I walk through the room to find out why just as Megan calls to me. The last time I had two police officers at my door was back in Bangor when they came to tell me about my aunt dying so the first thing I think about is my mum who is sick in hospital somewhere in Spain. Surprisingly though it’s Megan they question first and their tone seems very strict and formal.
What the fuck? How can they possibly be here about Yasmin? How dare anyone accuse Megan, of all people, of not looking after Yasmin! She’d give her life for that child and everyone knows it! Thank goodness Megan is staying calmer than I am as I’m so angry and shocked I can’t even sit down even when the police do! Taking a deep breath I reassure the police that, of course, we are returning to Bangor as both Megan and myself have jobs there, I have a flat there and we have tickets for the ferry! I scan through my emails on my phone quickly looking for proof of the ferry tickets to show them as I go on about how devoted a sister Megan is and how both Megan and Yasmin have been living with me since Thursday last week.
I step towards the officers to show them the tickets on my phone but they seem to already know and instead they divert their attention to the baby and ask to see her. I panic wondering if they might actually leave with the child and I step towards the door subtly in case they attempt to do that. No way will I let them take Yasmin from Megan, or myself! Megan hands them the child and at least they remain seated with her. The female officer appears to check the child over looking at her hair, her clothing and pulling the top of her tights down, presumably to check her nappy isn’t needing changed. I look at Megan wondering if she’s thinking the same as me…what if they see her bandaged legs?
Yasmin is crying and Megan looks terrified as she’s interrogated by the officers as to why she took her sister from Ireland, where the baby’s been sleeping and even what she’s been feeding her! Megan calmly explains all about her mum being in hospital and her history of mental illness and I notice the officers nodding as if this isn’t news to either of them. I’m so proud of my girlfriend for how calm she’s being as the whole time her baby sister is crying on the knee of the female officer. The male officer seems to be slightly irritated by the child’s crying as he turns to Yasmin to talk to her as I wonder if he actually has any children of his own. He faces the child on the baby’s eye level and says hi to her before suddenly looking to his colleague.
“Was there any mention on the referral officer Greenwood of the child having Downs Syndrome?”
The female officer immediately turns the baby to face her, looking carefully at her features. Yasmin reaches out to touch the officer’s glasses as for the first time I notice the policewoman smile.
“No I don’t believe there was. Isn’t she adorable though? And clearly well looked after too. You are definitely taking her home tomorrow night? You know we will be right back to check if officers from the police service of Northern Ireland inform us otherwise. It’s not like they have formally reported the child missing officer Stallion have they? It does appear to me to be a bit of a misunderstanding and having seen the report from Ulster hospital it does appear the poor baby’s mum isn’t well at all. I’m happy to assure social services that we’ve checked on the child and she’s happy and safe and going back to Ireland tomorrow on the overnight ferry.”
She puts her arms out with the still crying baby as Megan immediately walks over and takes her sister back cuddling her so tight I wonder if the baby can breathe. I still don’t trust the officers even though Megan now has her sister back and I’m just about to open the front door and hint at them to leave when Megan asks me quietly to get a banana in a bowl for the baby and some milk in her bottle. Not wanting to argue in front of the police I look at her confused but then go and do exactly as asked hoping she knows what she’s doing.
I return to the room finding the officers still there and Megan talking openly about things I never ever expected her to mentioned to the police ever! For the first time since they arrived they both have pads out and pencils and are taking notes as Megan feeds her sister some mashed banana effortlessly while sharing with the police about her mum’s years of mental instability, her dad being a workaholic and how much she did for all her younger siblings. With her eyes clearly full of tears she shares how her mum would leave Yasmin sitting in a bouncy seat and go back tor bed and then as she outgrew that she’d leave her in a jumperoo that friends from chapel gave her and forget to feed her or change her and how she’d lie to the health visitor and doctors. I can’t help but hear the female officer whisper to her colleague how ‘this does fit with the hospital report you know’ as I resume standing by the fire surround wondering what might happen next.
“I’ve been mam to Yasmin much more than a sister really. Mam always refused all the pregnancy checks with all of us. Yasmin is her 9th baby. Between us I wonder if she’d found out about the Downs if she’d have wanted a termination but that goes against our Catholic faith, and as you know they are illegal in Northern Ireland anyway. She didn’t have a choice to have her but she can’t cope. Still it broke my heart leaving with her to go live with Liam but what else could I do? Mam was getting home from hospital but one of the conditions was that she wasn’t fit to look after anyone, including Yasmin. Dad’s not very hands on. He’s always at work and has no idea how to change a nappy or cook or clean. I would have stayed home and looked after her and did all that happily but when dad told me on Thursday that he’d agreed with mam’s psychologist that the best thing for everyone would be to get Yasmin put into care I couldn’t bare it. I can’t allow her to be given to strangers when I can provide for her and love her as my own. I’m all she has. I didn’t run away with her to here though. Honestly officers. I went to move in to Liam’s flat in the same town. It’s just that his aunt had just died and he was coming here for her funeral and to sort out her affairs. I love him and wanted to support him. I did tell my dad but I can tell you now it won’t have been my dad who will have reported me. It’ll be my older brother, Shaun. He hates the fact I’ve moved out as he had it all worked out that I’d care full time for mam, look after Rory and Anthony and Yasmin would just go into care. He’s angry I’m not doing what he wants. I can assure you Yasmin is at the centre of all I do and think and her welfare is my number one priority always.”
It’s not just Megan getting emotional as I can feel my eyes stinging with tears as the male officer puts his pad away and stands up, followed quickly by his female colleague.
“Thank you for you time Miss Murphy and Mr Jude. We are satisfied the child is safe and well looked after and we’ll be reporting this back to social services in Northern Ireland. I’m afraid we have no say in anything else but I hope you have a safe journey back to Ireland and things work out ok. We apologise for disturbing you.”
I close the door behind them then lean my back on the door with my body symbolically to prevent them coming back in.
Jesus that could so easily have gone the other way and I look at Megan nursing her sister on the couch as my eyes sting so much I have to rub them. How could anyone want to separate them from each other? How dare Shaun Murphy, my own boss, report his own sister! |
Chapter 238
Liam
It was all starting to settle again until my phone rang. I’m seriously starting to hate answering my mobile and hearing the imposing male voice on the other end just makes it worse. I know only too well that saying anything back will simply make things worse so I play ignorant and let the caller shout away. Making sure Megan doesn’t hear I walk towards the living room before hanging up and putting the phone on the table.
There’s been more than enough drama around here for the last few days and neither of us need any more so I am determined not to tell Megan who it is. She’s not in any danger from this and she’ll only worry.
I didn’t expect the silent treatment though as we finish up what we are doing, I wash the dishes and she answers the door to the person from the co-op and hands them the bundle of papers we’ve sorted before storming upstairs. At first I leave her and busy myself in the kitchen to give her time to cool off. Putting the butter from earlier back in the fridge I notice we’re short of milk, and assuming Megan is wanting some space or napping beside her sister, I walk along the road to the local sainsburies and pick up some more milk.
Walking back into my aunt’s house I can tell instantly that things have changed. Megan is pacing the living room, her face red and her body language angry.
“Oh so you’ve came back have you? Very nice of you!”
“What’s the problem? I only popped out for milk?”
“And you never thought to tell me that?”
“Are you serious? You don’t fucking own me Megan! I am free to go where I want any time I want to. Possessive doesn’t suit you you know!”
I don’t know why I say it and the minute I do I regret it immediately. It’s the sort of thing I would shout at Lauren, but never Megan. I think everything is getting to me; the sudden death of my aunt, the shock of seeing Lauren again and her saying she’s pregnant, and then the police visit..it’s all strangling me and suffocating me. I need away from everything. What I don’t need is some Irish woman shouting at me for going to the shop for fucking milk! I’ve had enough of that level of control to last me a lifetime thank you!
I’ve never really seen Megan angry before, not like this. I’ve never heard her shout like this either.
“What did you just say? Possessive? Seriously, Liam, did you just accuse me of being possessive? What? Because you vanished out of the house without so much of a goodbye or a saying where you were going two days after your aunt’s funeral and hours after the police have been round, and you think that’s possessive? You get a phone call from someone you refuse to tell me about and who you clearly didn’t want to talk to then you’re suddenly nowhere to be found and I’m expected to not care? You could have been anywhere! It’s not much to expect a bit of respect and communication is it? You know that thing where we tell each other stuff and….trust each other!”
“So that’s what this is about then? You don’t trust me? What? Because an ex girlfriend I was with before I even met you is pregnant with my child? What are you, jealous? So where did you think I was? Off meeting her and playing happy fucking families? How many times do I have to tell you it’s over with her? I went for bloody milk! See!”
“Don’t you dare talk to me like that Liam Jude! I knew I shouldn’t have come here with you. My father was right to be wary of you! You come to Ireland like the long lost child, even coming to Saint Mary’s chapel to look the part, but it’s all a con. You’re no Catholic and no innocent victim either! To think I believed you when you told me all that crap about being abused by Lauren. So did she abuse you by raping you? Is that how she’s pregnant with your child? You say you are coming back to Ireland and you want to bring the car back but you still haven’t even got a ticket for the car? So how’d you reckon that’s gonna work eh? The sooner I get back to Bangor and get myself somewhere to live the better. I’ve had it with families who bully and abuse and I’m not taking it from any boyfriend either!”
“What the fucking hell are you on about Megan? I never once said I was Catholic. I came to chapel to see you! Then I went back because I’d just heard about Aunt Ella. If you think I’m a con then that’s up to you! After all we’ve been through too! And I’ve told you everything about Lauren Bennet long before we even got here. How was I to bloody know she was pregnant? That’s if she really is, because God only know that woman is a piece of shit and wouldn’t know the truth if it slapped her in the face! But calling me a bully and saying I’m abusing you for not fucking saying I’m popping out for milk? You’re as ill as your mum clearly! You need help Megan! I went out for milk…milk…this stuff here! Geez what the hell is this all about?
I walk right past her. This is going nowhere and we’re only firing ammunition that we’ll later regret, it’s exactly how I was as a teenager with my aunt and exactly why I live with so many regrets now she’s dead. I walk through the dining room instantly hearing Yasmin crying as I go right into the kitchen to put the milk away then plan to get the baby if Megan doesn’t. I’m actually shocked to step out the kitchen and still hear the crying! I immediately take the stairs two at a time and race to my aunt’s bedroom to find Yasmin crying on the bed. I pick her up and pat her gently on the back to reassure her and carry her downstairs expecting to see Megan any minute. There’s no sign of her in the dining room, nor in the kitchen when I look in, but when I walk into the living room I see her sobbing with her head in her hands sitting on the couch opposite the fireplace. Yasmin is now quieter in my arms as I stand holding her looking at Megan as I hear in my mind the things I just said repeating back to me.
She might have said things to me too but I went too far. I should have told her I was going for milk. I should have told her who phoned before I left. I should never have called her possessive, or jealous, and I most definitely should never ever have said she was ill like her mum. Holding the baby now I’m limited in what I can physically do as I stand facing her feeling absolutely shit.
I take a deep breath, holding the baby close to my chest as I bend down in front of Megan and touch her hand.
“I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I should have told you I was going for milk. I just needed some air. That was Aaron Bennet on the phone earlier. The one I hung up on. Lauren’s dad. Seems he’s only just found out about the baby and he had a few choice words for me on the phone. Apparently no daughter of his is getting treatment on the NHS and he expects me to cover the cost of private scans, appointments and any other health costs. He can jump in the Irish Sea for all I care. I’ve had ten years of their abuse and I’m not having it now just because Lauren couldn’t be arsed to take the pill. She spent more time abroad than here anyway so it’s fucking amazing I even managed to get her up the duff in the first place! Sorry Megan, there I go off on one again. That was why I didn’t tell you who it was. It’s not because I don’t trust you honey. You just don’t deserve any of this. I really didn’t mean what I said to you. Honestly.”
She doesn’t look at me at first but she does look at Yasmin. I turn the baby to face her hoping it helps ease the tension.
“She always likes a drink when she first wakes.”
“I know. That was actually why I went for milk. I didn’t want her to wake to none. I’ll get her some now.”
“Thank you.” |
Chapter 239
Megan
Coming downstairs and finding Liam gone without any idea where he is scares me. What was said on the phone call that he refused to talk about? Has he gone to secretly meet someone? Was it Lauren wanting money? Has he left to do something silly? Given what my own mam did while I was at home last month my anxiety is all over the place as I look everywhere in the house for any clue as to where Liam could be. Finding his phone I long to look through his contacts and texts and call history, but not knowing his code I toss the phone on the couch in frustration. It’s out of character for him and I only went upstairs because I thought I heard Yasmin and then I laid beside her for a bit to rest and think. So much has been going on and I just needed a little head space. Surely he should have said where he was going though?
The argument when he returns is awful and we both say things I know we regret. We’re stressed, upset, and under pressure, and the only safe person we have to take it out on is each other. I try telling myself he didn’t mean it but when Liam shouts that I’m clearly as ill as my mam I crumble. That’s my worse fear is to inherit her mental instability in the sane way I seem to have inherited her love of lists and her gift at multitasking. How can I look after Yasmin if that’s the case? Mam never sees her own illness so maybe I do have it too? Even when things settle and Liam brings down Yasmin I can’t help but still chew on those unhealthy and destructive thoughts in my mind.
“Would you like to go for a walk Megan? I was thinking it might help us both. There’s a lovely path down by the river. We could be back in an hour or so?”
I nod, though I am worried about Yasmin getting hungry as she had so little for her lunch. As Yasmin finishes her milk Liam goes and gets her buggy ready and I change her nappy and open a packet of soft cheesy crisps for her to have a few as a treat before we leave. Liam fills some bottles from his aunt’s kitchen with water and adds them to the basket under the buggy seat as it’s such a lovely day and I tuck the blanket over Yasmin as we go to leave.
“We’ll need to be back for dinner Liam. Yasmin will be hungry soon. She didn’t have much for lunch.”
“There’s a brilliant chip shop on the way back. I used to go to it on the way back from town or after football a lot. The Chip Den. Never had chips like them. You’d love them.”
“Sounds delicious but I haven’t got enough money. Really wish I had though.”
“I’ll be right back!”
I carefully hump the buggy down the front stairs and wait for Liam to return. He waves a £20 note in my face smiling.
“Where did you get that from?”
“Aunt Ella’s secret hiding place. She always kept a little cash hidden in case the window clearer suddenly came or the bin cleaners. I just suddenly remembered there. She won’t be needing it for them now will she? She’d have wanted us to have it, I’m sure.”
“As long as you’re sure?”
I have no idea where I’m going as I follow Liam down a few side roads until I see a small sign for the river Dee. We head off the pavement and down a lane as the fresh air makes me feel so much better and calmer.
“It’s lovely down here at this time of year. It can be muddy in winter and it’s not very well lit on the dark nights but in spring and summer it’s perfect. People come here to watch the river for hours you know.”
I look around seeing the path broaden ahead and even spotting what looks like some sort of band stand. Before we get that far Liam suggests sitting on a bench for a bit as he puts his arm around me and we watch a small cruise ship passing with some smaller peddle boats looking tiny in its wake and a solo canoe in the distance. It’s such a far cry from Bangor as Yasmin tries waving to the boats happily from the comfort of her buggy. It’s late afternoon but such a glorious spring day that Liam reaches into the bottom of the buggy and passes me a bottle of water, taking one for himself too. I pull the hood of the buggy over Yasmin to protect her from the sun as we sit happily watching river life for a while.
“I’m sorry about earlier Megan. I said some awful things that I really regret.”
“Me too. Do you think things will ever get easier for us?”
“I would like to think so. Once my aunt’s house sells and it’s all sorted and we can buy somewhere nice for us I think life will be much better. I don’t think I’ll ever be employee of the year with your brother or even brother in law of the month for that matter after we’re married, but hopefully when the dust settles and your family sees that I love you and Yasmin and I am able to look after you both then maybe things will be easier.”
“And Lauren?”
“I would rather never see her ever again, as you know, but when the baby is born we can hopefully come to some arrangement. I don’t think she’ll be too happy about me being in Ireland but I will fight to see my child every way possible. You understand that don’t you?”
“Of course I do. I really will miss this place you know. Your aunt’s lovely house, meeting Paul and Cara and little Joshua, and Gareth and Matilda and seeing your aunt’s church. Back home I’d have been at Saint Mary’s all this week for Holy Week. Today would have been significant as its spy Wednesday.”
“I’ve honestly never heard of that one? You sure you’re not making this up?”
“Not at all. It’s named after Judas Iscariot who was one of Jesus’s disciples who went on to betray him. My dad always said it was a warning to us all. If even Jesus could trust someone who wasn’t really for him after all then we all can too. He was wary of everyone though. We weren’t allowed friends round to play and forbidden to talk about home to anyone. I guess dad thought everyone was a Judas.”
“Sounds too like Lauren Bennet to me. She wouldn’t know the truth if it slapped her in the face.”
I finish my bottle of water and put the empty bottle back under the buggy as I suddenly look at Liam taking in what he’s just said.
“Do you think she could really be a Judas? Maybe she’s not actually pregnant or maybe it’s not yours? Would she really be that deceitful?”
“Oh God she’s a Judas alright. You’ve met her so I’d of thought that was obvious. Why did Judas betray his friend then? Was there a reason?”
“Money.”
“Oh God! That explains a lot! That’s what everything has always been about with Lauren! She only dated me as she thought I was going somewhere as a footballer and I’d earn good money. She only wanted to marry me as she wanted her parents money spent on her and now this.”
He turns to me smiling.
“I really need to read more of that Bible your priest gave me you know. I never knew there were stories like that in it. So what else goes on in this Holy week then?”
We stand up and begin walking again towards the band stand and alongside the lazy but lovely river as I tell Liam all about Holy week and the traditions I’ve kept all my life. By the time we finally reach the chip shop he mentioned I’m not just hungry but I’m also wishing I hadn’t drank quite as much water as the chip shop is clearly only a take away place and the splashing of the boats on the river reminds me I must get back home for the bathroom.
As long as we keep walking back while we eat I should be fine. At least I hope so anyway. |
Chapter 240
Liam
There’s something uniquely special about walking down by the river with Megan. This was, for a long time, my go to place to calm and chill and settle my anger as I watched the goings on on the water whatever the weather or time of year. Showing Megan the small open cruise boat that’s so popular with tourists and the numerous peddle boats and kayaks as we sit on a bench watching takes me right back to my childhood as I wonder what it might be like out on the river with little Yasmin pointing out fish and boats and buildings. It’s so good to be talking with Megan again as if our earlier argument never happened as she tells me about her faith and some things from the Bible as we walk.
I smell the tempting aroma from the Chip Den before we even get there and my lips moisten in anticipation. It’s such a beautiful calm and warm early evening and it feels so liberating to be outside to eat for a change. Ordering two fish suppers and two drinks I leave Megan holding the food and the little wooden forks and drinks while I push the buggy. It seems such a shame to go all the way back to Westminster Road to my aunt’s house and risk the food getting cold so I pull the buggy to a stop beside a bench, put on the brakes and sit down. The tourist boat has just emptied out again and looking back I can see a queue already firming at the Chip Den and I smile thinking what good timing we had.
“You’re in for a treat Megan. I just hope this as as good as I remember. I’m so looking forward to it.”
“Would it not be easier to eat at home?”
“I thought it might be nicer to eat here. Yasmin’s enjoying watching the boats and the chips will be much hotter if we eat them now.”
Megan sits beside me and carefully passes me one of the suppers and a bottle of juice as I rip the paper open and fish out a chip.
“Magic! Every bit as good as I remember. Don’t worry I’ll share with Yasmin once they cool a bit.”
Megan suggests pulling the buggy nearer so we can both share with her sister and I happily agree. To my delight Yasmin seems every bit as thrilled at the food as I am, though I notice Megan seems quiet.
“You don’t like it?”
“No. It’s lovely. Honestly. It’s not the food. It’s just…I was kind of hoping we’d eat at home because I need the loo! Looking out at the water isn’t really helping either.”
“Can you wait until we’ve finished now? There’s nowhere here at all open with a bathroom, not now it’s after 5:30 anyway. I didn’t realise honey. Can you wait a bit?”
“I shouldn’t have said anything. I’ll be fine. This really is lovely food and you’re right; It would have gotten way too cold if we’d walked all the way back to your aunt’s. Don’t worry about it. Yasmin’s really enjoying it too. The fish is so soft and easy for her to chew too.”
Now she’s mentioned it though I genuinely can’t stop thinking about it as her every move, every noise, every action makes me now wonder if it’s due to her needing to pee or something else. Despite having wrapped food on my knee I can also feel my erection growing too, though out on a public pathway I’m keen to keep that from being noticed.
“My mum used to bring me down here as a boy. It was a much further walk from where we lived but in the summer she’d save up and take us on the peddle boats. She was rubbish at steering but we had such a fun time. This area is always busy in summer. Maybe we can come back at some point, what do you think?”
“That sounds lovely. I bet that little cruise does well too. I can’t believe the amount of people getting on at this time on a Wednesday night! I guess the schools are off for Easter though which helps.”
“It’s a great little run on the boat. I wish I had the money to take you both on it tonight. Yasmin would love it! I think it’s about half an hour but some of them go further. I’m sure some even go as far as Wales.”
“I’d happily go on it tonight if they had a ladies on board.”
“Sorry babe. You needing to go bad? I’ll try and eat this a bit quicker for you.”
Megan looks around checking there’s no-one close by before looking at me and winking.
“It’s ok. I’ve had plenty practice holding my bladder recently. Especially since meeting you. In fact the very first time we even met that’s exactly what I was doing.”
I can’t help but find her comment a big turn on as I think back to the launderette in the side street in Bangor and the way I watched Megan squirming on a plastic chair. I lean over and kiss her cheek and smile at her whispering back to her and hoping she isn’t too embarrassed.
“It was a huge turn on back then and I won’t deny its every bit as much of a turn on right now too. But I won’t keep you here. I will eat up quickly don’t worry.”
Seeing her blush is amazing and exciting as I can’t help wondering if she’s actually enjoying holding her bladder and mentioning it to me every bit as much as I’m loving knowing about it. Just to tease me even more she opened her bottle of juice and winks as she takes a long drink right beside me. Just imagining what affect this will have on her body is making me twitch with need but I don’t want this to stop. Casually I feed Yasmin a little more battered fish and have some myself as I notice Megan isn’t hurrying her meal either.
God I love this woman and her bursting bladder! For all our struggles right now there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than sitting by the river Dee with Megan Murphy as she’s desperate for a pee! We’ve still got at least 20 minutes walk back too and I’m hoping she might even let me watch her go when we get back. Just the thought has me rock hard and so horny that I drink my own juice to try and calm myself down! |
Chapter 241
Megan
I don’t want to say to Liam about my predicament as we walk away from the chip shop back along past the band stand and along the path we just came from. Holding the food in my arms and the drinks in a small bag I walk briskly behind Liam pushing the buggy praying that he’s got the same idea as me and we’re going straight back to his aunt’s.
However, rather frustratingly, he actually returns back to the same bench we sat on previously as I just hope we manage to eat quickly so I can get back and pee. Sitting on the cold bench though suddenly increases my need and I can’t even open my fish and chips to eat them at first as I need all my concentration to keep my urethra closed tight so I don’t leak. I’ve went from being aware I need to go to needing a lot very quickly, definitely not helped by being right next to the river! But now that our fish and chips are opened they will cool way too quickly so I just resolute within myself that I’ll need to somehow hold on, at least while we eat.
I do mention to Liam though, as quietly and casually as I can, and he’s very sweet asking if I can wait and promising to eat his food quickly. It’s hot though and with sharing with Yasmin we need to both make sure it’s cool enough for her. The fact that it’s salty makes me more thirsty and I can’t stop myself opening the bottle of juice Liam bought me and drinking it with my food. The fish and chips are lovely and watching the water is very relaxing, other than the fact I need to pee of course, as Liam talks freely about his memories of coming here with his mum and we watch the little cruise ship drop off and pick up more passengers. As it sails past us, much to Yasmin’s delight, I can’t help wondering if there’s a ladies toilet on board and feeling jealous that the passengers can use it when I desperately want to but can’t.
Despite trying to keep the conversation on Liam’s memories my mind is so consumed with the constant tingling between my legs, the pulsing of my urethra against my underwear and my need to wriggle on the bench that I inevitably mention again that I really need the loo. Looking at Liam, and fancying him like mad, I am instantly reminded of the very first time I saw him in the launderette back in Bangor and how I was bursting back then too. I smile thinking back to how annoyed I was the moment he walked in as I had to somehow curb my constant squirming and fidgeting so he wouldn’t notice. Noticing the bulge in Liam’s crotch I assume he remembers that day just as fondly too as I wriggle on the bench some more trying in vain to get comfortable against the constant pressure between my legs.
As delicious as the food is I really can’t keep sitting here as I offer another chip to Yasmin and I glance at Liam’s paper still half full of fish and chips and sigh internally. He’s spent too long chatting to me about his childhood to eat as quickly as I would have liked as I scrunch up my left overs in my hand and sit forward anxiously.
“Are you nearly finished honey? I can’t eat any more, though it was lovely. I just can’t get comfortable now and would rather we were heading back if that’s ok?”
He nods but his eyes are looking at me longingly and he sips at his juice teasingly as he then tears a bit more battered fish to offer to Yasmin and then eats some himself.
“Almost done. Promise.”
His words say one thing but the wink of his eye and the fact he’s sitting right back in the seat comfortably mean his body language is saying something very different. I don’t want to argue, especially given our fall out earlier in the day, and he is eating and feeding my baby sister so I don’t have much choice but to wait as I busy myself searching under the buggy for a cup for Yasmin. Thankfully I find one, and a bottle of water that’s not been opened, so I unscrew the lid and pour some into a tippy cup for my sister, the very action of pouring water making me quiver and have to cross my legs tightly. Yasmin takes the cup and begins drinking from it right away as I watch Liam drink his juice and then eat another chip too.
Meanwhile I’m getting more and more desperate and I can’t sit still on the bench anymore! Partly to hint to Liam to hurry and partly because I need to move around more, I stand up and move from foot to foot beside the wooden bench as I tap my foot impatiently and squirm as discreetly as I can. Then I have an idea.
“What if I push the buggy while you finish your food while you walk? Would that work? I really do need to get back rather quickly honey.”
Liam looks at me and nods as he offers Yasmin another chip in her free hand and stands up with the remains of his bag of food still in his hand and his almost empty drinks bottle in his other hand . Spying a nearby litter bin I pop my foot wrapper and empty juice bottle into it then take the brakes off the buggy and push it along the path back towards Liam’s aunt’s house. We pass an older couple walking a dog as we say good evening and then carry on walking. Yasmin loves seeing the dog but I’m grateful the couple don’t hang around to talk more. I need to get back very urgently as I start walking quicker than before as Liam starts lagging a bit behind. Turning to see where he is I can’t stand still at all as I rub one leg against the other and step from foot to foot.
“Sorry. I stopped to have a drink.”
“Liam I’m honestly in such a hurry. I should never have had all that juice with my fish and chips.”
I’m so happy to see him finally scrunch up his paper at last as he heads slightly off the path towards a small bin while I wait anxiously tapping one knee against the other. As he comes back he puts his head towards mine for a kiss on my cheek then smiles at me and winks.
“You look absolutely stunning tonight you know!”
I glance quickly down at what I’m wearing, one of my many midi skirts, this one a pleated plain dark green one and my top half an everyday short sleeved t-shirt on top in cream with dark green flowers on. My pink anorak doesn’t really match and my plain flat canvas shoes aren’t anything special either. As if reading my thoughts as I start pushing the buggy quickly again Liam whispers in my ear as I walk.
“Being desperate to pee makes any clothing look outstanding on you you know.”
It’s obvious he’s horny, and he most likely realises that being in the state I’m in is making me very much in the mood too, but I’d be lying if I didn’t confess that I’m also rather worried. My urgency is increasing very quickly now and we still have almost a mile to get back to the house. There’s nowhere on route with any toilets I can use but I’m getting increasingly concerned my bladder won’t hold off for another full mile. I don’t want to have what happened when we first met happen again but the odds are definitely not in my favour right now that’s for sure. |
Chapter 242
Liam
God I’m so rock hard just watching Megan as she stands, or attempts to stand, and begins walking. From behind I can’t help but ogle her butt cheeks through her skirt as I imagine her clenching them tight to hold her bladder back. The way her legs move, her knees hitting off each other impatiently, her feet tapping and one leg crawling up the back of the other fascinate and thrill me as her urgency seems to increase by the minute.
Holding back less than a minute to finish my drink I can sense her frustration as she turns around to face me and I see her face is now flushed and her legs squeezed together. Noticing a nearby bin I walk towards it to put my rubbish in staring at Megan the entire time in lust and desire. Those calf length skirts of hers are so damn sexy and her fitted t-shirt shows off her luscious breasts amazingly. I long to kiss her but settle for a quick kiss on her cheek feeling her breath on my face which is driving me wild with desire. Bursting for the loo or not I know without a doubt that when we get back to my aunt’s I’ll be taking things so much further…if only my body can wait that long!
Using one of my now free hands I try to cover my huge boner in my trousers by pressing down on the tip of my penis and walk beside Megan commenting openly on how stunning she looks. She’s practically running now along the path as I have to pick up pace just to keep up with her. There’s no more passing the time of day with passers by now as she seems very hyper focussed and tunnel visioned on just getting back home. She must be absolutely desperate now judging by how she’s marching and the pace she’s keeping.
“Would you prefer if I took the buggy honey?”
“It’s ok. I just really really need to get back to the house though Liam!”
I put my hands onto the handle of the buggy to allow her to let go as one hand immediately goes between her legs and she stops walking for a second.
‘Just a sec! Oh I really need to go!”
“It’s not long now Megan. We head onto the street just along here then it’s only maybe 5 minutes walk at most. Try not to think about it.”
Fuck she’s driving me crazy as I turn and see her bending forwards with a hand tight between her legs. I can feel my penis throbbing in my trousers as my mind spirals into sexual thoughts that make my face turn red and my heart pound. The fact we’re in public and others might see, the fact she’s extremely desperate and might wet herself out here by the river and the fact I can’t remember when she might have last used the bathroom all make my dick swell and rise very obviously. I’m so grateful for the buggy in front of me which is hopefully preventing too many others witnessing my embarrassment. If Megan pisses herself my own trousers won’t stay completely dry either. God I need to cum so badly right now my dick aches!
Finally she starts hobbling forward again trying to keep up with me this time. Her panting and gasps indicate just how urgently she must need to wee as she pauses yet again to tightly cross her legs and bend forward.
“Oh Liam!”
I look at her sympathetically before quickly looking around us. The river is busy as always with a group of older teens kayaking, though thankfully they seem too preoccupied on the river and with each other to notice Megan. An older lady with a small dog is approaching behind Megan but I’m pretty sure she isn’t aware as she gulps and hisses through her teeth right in front of me having now uncrossed her legs and bending forward with her hands on her hips and her thighs tightly squeezed together. With Megan now not walking the older lady soon catches her up as I move the buggy to one side to let her past. She looks at Megan then to me as I expect her to comment but then her dog barks and thankfully she’s distracted enough to walk on past us. I want to comfort Megan but I’m not sure how as I pull the buggy back to get a little closer to her.
“There’s a warm dribble running down down my leg. I don’t think I’ll make it back to the house.”
Fuck fuck fuck! I rub at the bottom of my trouser pocket as my body screams at me to let my duck cum and I have to shake my leg to move my dick and prevent it exploding with precum. God I need Megan so bloody much I could burst! The very thought of a warm dribble of urine running slowly down her soft shapely shaved legs is so sexy I feel like I’m in heaven. I have to ask her as I step even closer so no-one else can hear.
“I take it your pants are wet?”
She nods to me, her face flushed and embarrassed looking.
“A bit. I need to go so badly. It’s an emergency!”
I look along by the edge of the path to the trees and shrubs deliberately planted a long time ago to prevent the river flooding the local houses as I wonder if things are so bad Megan might want to go behind one?
“Do you need to go here honey?”
“It’s starting to come Liam. I’m never going to make it to the house!”
As much as I’m in sexual heaven watching and hearing her I also feel obligated to help her and I don’t want her feeling humiliated or embarrassed by having a full on obvious accident so I steer the buggy as far over towards the shrubs and trees as possible and encourage Megan to follow. Despite the fact it’s still daylight and there’s people very close by, both walking on the pathway and on the water, Megan grabs between her legs openly and hobbles over towards me.
“I’ll shield you as best I can honey. Just do what you need to do. It sounds like you don’t have any choice.”
I watch as my amazing girlfriend squeezes behind the buggy and myself and hobbles towards a small tree as she straddles her legs apart either side of the tree, hunches her skirt up and thrusts her hips forwards as if she’s about to mount the tree trunk like a horse as I do my best to try to look away but have a compulsion to watch too. The noise draws my eyes instantly as the whooshing and splashing against the dry bark is a sound I never want to forget as I see Megan’s beautiful knickers darken and overspill with urine as it surges out from her crotch arching into the air slightly before hitting and running down the tree exactly as it would if a man was to piss against it.
It’s without a doubt one of the most sexiest things I have ever witnessed in my life as my dick is so swollen, so ready, so active in my trousers that I can no longer control what’s happening as I feel myself climax without even touching myself by the river Dee just minutes from my aunt’s house!
Incredibly, despite how much she’s peeing, Megan should manage to get back to the house without her accident being obvious, unlike me who now has a large sticky wet patch now extremely obvious on my trousers! I’ll definitely be pushing the buggy back now, not just because I’m a gentleman but because I need to cover it gives me incase I bump into someone I know! My only saving grace is that my dear aunt won’t be home to see the state I’m in! |
Chapter 243
Megan
After feeling it dribble warmly down my leg I know that I’m not going to make it regardless how close Liam promises we are to the house. I can’t control it any longer. I’m so desperate to go!
When Liam asks if if I need to go somewhere here right by the river it’s all I can do to nod as another warn dribble runs slowly down the inside of my leg. The dam is about to burst any second and I can feel the panic building in my mind and body, my urethra pushing so hard and fast against my wet underwear that I fear I might burst everywhere right where I’m standing. I grit my teeth tightly, clenching my fists and tensing my upper thighs so hard I can feel them starting to cramp as I rush to where Liam has taken the buggy off the path and over towards the trees and shrubs at the side wall backing onto people’s gardens. I push past him and the buggy hearing my own heart beating so fast I fear I might faint. Time isn’t on my side any more, and every second counts!
No longer caring if anyone can see me I grab my skirt at either side and lift it up to prevent it getting soaked as I spread my legs apart behind a small tree and thrust my hips in the hope my urine misses my canvas shoes and my clothes as much as possible. I take a deep breath, allowing my body to finally relax, as I feel the tip of my urethra tingle so much I want to giggle as the fragile plug keeping all the liquid inside me suddenly pulls away so quickly and instantly that I shake with the force of the pressure surging out from between my legs, gushing through my knickers and pouring down the trunk of the tree. Struggling to keep my balance I gaze at the trunk changing colour, the bark darkening and softening with my warm output as the whooshing and crackling sound echos in my ear. Anyone walking past can hear it. Anyone so much as glancing in my direction can see what I’m doing as I wonder how on earth I will ever confess my behaviour to Father Reilly back in Saint Mary’s.
Boy does that feel better though as I shake to get the last few dribbles out my now soaked knickers before standing upright and slowly letting go of my skirt. Finally turning to Liam I notice how flushed he now looks and how his mouth is wide open in amazement. Allowing my eyes to then fall down to his gorgeous chest and handsome body I follow his hands to see the very obvious damp circle on one upper leg of his trousers as I instantly realise what’s happened. He still has one hand holding the handle of the buggy as gently place my hand on top of his and step nearer him whispering in his ear as I smile sympathetically at him.
“You enjoyed that as much as I did I see?”
His silent nod is so incredibly sexy as I kiss his cheek and we make our way back down to the pathway and walk back to his aunt’s, neither of us talking but a silent knowing between us drawing us even closer together. I’m as horny and hungry for Liam as ever and my wet pants between my legs rubbing with every step only serve to increase that feeling as I long to rub myself, or even better have sex with Liam. Walking along Westminster Road I start to recognise how close we now are to the house as I put my arm into Liam’s and comment to him how much better I feel.
“I wish I could say the same honey!”
“Why? What’s up?”
“Besides the fact my trousers and trunks are all sticky and gooey and my dick feels like it’s been covered in warm custard, ever since I..you know…back at the river I’ve been dying to piss and the closer we get to the house the more I feel like I’m gonna piss myself!”
God now I can barely contain myself as I take my arm out from Liam’s and deliberately fondle his crotch as we pass the neighbours house and head towards the front door of his aunt’s house.
“Babe I mean it! I need to get to the bathroom right now! Fuck I’m bursting to go!”
I wink at him.
“So you said. You do know that seeing you like this makes me want you so much though don’t you?”
Liam frantically hauls the buggy up backwards into the house as he suddenly grabs his dick tightly and bends forward.
“I’ll be back soon! Fuck fuck fuck!”
I shut the front door and glance quickly at Yasmin in the buggy, who is quite content and safe, as I suddenly decide that my own bodily needs are so intense, so strong, so powerful that I need to act on them right now! Clicking the brake on the buggy with my foot I race after my boyfriend towards the only bathroom hoping I get there in time. Slipping my coat, footwear and skirt off urgently at the bottom of the stairs I take the steps two at a time gasping in need. I hope I’m not too late. I hope Liam hasn’t emptied his bladder already! Seeing his back slide into the bathroom I race quickly behind him, somehow managing to grab his anorak and hold him back right on time.
“Let me go please Megan. I’m about to do it in my trousers honey!”
Still holding him I race past him into the large bathroom where I pull my t-shirt off right in front of him, unclipping my bra and throwing it out the bathroom door. Standing now in just my soaking wet panties I climb into the bath as Liam unzips his fly and pulls his quivering desperate penis out.
“Pee on my Liam! Please!”
“You sure honey?”
Sitting in the bath I immediately start stroking my very wet and throbbing vagina over my warm wet cotton underpants as Liam steps towards the bath moaning in desperation. Feeling the first splash of his urine hitting my breasts is sensational as I stroke myself faster and faster as I shake and moan as every warm drop of my partner’s output sends me into more of a frenzy. As warm liquid pours out of Liam’s wonderful dick all over my stomach, shoulders, breasts, legs and feet I masturbate myself to a very enjoyable and wonderful orgasm listening to Liam moan at finally getting to pee after holding back.
If this is what being engaged is like I can’t wait to be married and to live with Liam the rest of my life! I may just have to spend a while in confession first, but God this is so worth it! |
Chapter 244
Liam
What is it about ejaculation that always leaves me suddenly bursting to pee? I always put it down to the fact I often wake with a hard on and dealing with it first thing in the morning and then needing to piss was just due to my bladder filling overnight. But come to think of it every time I’ve fucked Megan, whatever time of day, I always immediately afterwards need to pee. It’s never usually an issue, in fact where Megan is concerned it often leads to some amazing times, but right now it’s anything but amazing and a huge issue as I can’t get back to my aunt’s house quick enough! I need to go so urgently that my testicles ache with the pressure, my penis has a mind of it’s own in my trousers and the tip is moistening and softening ready to explode any second. The fact that my trousers are already warm and damp isn’t helping one bit as I have to force my mind to convince it that what it’s feeling down there isn’t urine and it absolutely can’t let go just yet! I’m so consumed by how much I need to piss that I can’t even talk to Megan as I march towards Westminster Road as fast as my legs can go.
It’s only when Megan casually comments that she feels so much better now she’s let her pee out that I almost scream at her that I don’t feel better at all, in fact quite the opposite! I am so consumed with not pissing myself that when Megan starts fondling me between my legs on the doorstep I jump and struggle to remain in control. It’s not that I’m notenjoying what she’s doing, nor that I’m upset that she’s clearly in the mood it’s just that…my God I think I’m gonna burst!
Thank goodness I’m finally at the house as I unlock the front door in record speed and hump the buggy in abruptly hoping Yasmin will forgive me just this once as I immediately have to abandon the baby and run before I soak my aunt’s carpet. Grabbing myself so hard it hurts I squeeze myself as hard as I can to try and prevent it all shooting out as I race through the dining room and upstairs. Sweat is pouring down my back and my chest is thumping as my entire body is consumed entirely by my need to urine so urgently. The few steps from the top of the stairs to the bathroom seem like miles as I suddenly think I hear someone coming behind me. Unable to even think about that for a even a split second I walk into the bathroom and I’m just about to unzip and relax when I feel a strong pulling behind me and I realise something, or someone, is holding me back. Turning around I see Megan holding my anorak and I beg her to let me go. I’ve already disgraced myself with semen all over my trousers and I’d rather not add to the mess with piss!
How the fuck did I not notice before? As she lets me go and suddenly appears in front of me my eyes turn to saucers seeing her standing there in nothing but her wet underpants! Her wonderful breasts are so enticing that as soon as I’ve pissed I intend to suck them and play with them as much as she’d like. She’s making me crazy horny for her but yet I’m so bursting I actually can’t get hard and my fingers instantly begin undoing my fly ready to pee.
“Pee on me” she says. What? Is she serious? I’d pee on a porcupine right now just to be able to go, and as long as I can finally relax I’ll happily go anywhere right this minute. Almost instantly she’s sitting in the bath right in front of me her hands caressing and fondling her wet knickers as I hear that wonderful treasured sound of her juices squelching in her soaking knickers. As utterly arousing as seeing her playing with herself is, sitting practically naked in the tub right in front of me, my bladder is hurting so much as my body is about to burst under the weight of the excess fluid inside me. I pull out my aching penis as it immediately starts oozing with warm fluid which I aim onto Megan’s naked body smiling both at the heavenly feeling of letting go and the highly arousing feeling of watching Megan’s reaction as my urine touches her sensitive body and runs down her gorgeous skin.
I’ve never peed on a girl before, not like this, not while she sits naked apart from her own pissed in knickers, not while she pleasures herself right in front of me as my excess body fluid runs all over her body. How have I managed to get to 31 and never experienced this spectacular experience? I can’t even describe how sensual, how erotic, how arousing it is. I do my utmost to aim as accurately as possible as I hold my penis and guide it towards Megan’s beautiful breasts, her arousing arms, her luscious legs, her hypnotising hips, her fantastic feet as I listen to the incredible sound of her moaning in pleasure as she brings herself to climax as my piss slowly subsides. I feel free, relaxed, so deeply satisfied and relieved finally as I look down at Megan sitting in the bath dripping wet and smile.
“You enjoy that honey?”
“Loved it. Liam Jude…I can’t wait to be your wife! You are wonderful. I really do love you you know.”
“I love you too…though I think you’d better get a wash now don’t you?”
“I’ll run a bath if that’s ok? You don’t mind going down for Yasmin do you? In fact once the bath is run you could bring her up. She could do with a bath too.”
“She’s not downstairs herself is she?”
“She’s safe in the buggy but she’ll be wondering where we are. I can’t get her like this though.”
I zip myself up and wash my hands quickly in the sink as I hear Megan running the taps for a bath for herself as I rush right back down for Yasmin. I find her happily still sitting in the buggy as I unclip her and take off her jacket. Her hands are sticky and salty from the chips earlier so I take her to the kitchen and give them a wipe down then carry her back to the living room and wheel the buggy to the bottom of the stairs one handed. The whole time I’m chatting away to her easily as I go back and lock the front door, remove my anorak and hang it up and then pick up Megan’s clothes from the bottom of the stairs and put them in the washing machine. I assume by now Megan is in the bath as I carry Yasmin upstairs to see her.
As I return to the bathroom I see Megan completely naked just stepping into the bath as I admire her naked bottom and legs as I feel my dick growing yet again. Yasmin is making happy noises in my arms as Megan turns to see us as she steps in.
“Watch how you’re holding her Liam. Your trousers are still sticky looking.”
I instantly feel down to where I came earlier and feel embarrassed that I’d forgotten. Now I’m home and safe I unclip my trousers one handed and step out of them letting them fall to the floor.
“That better?”
“Not really. Your trunks are just as bad.”
Pulling them down is even easier as I stand now holding the baby naked from the waist down looking at my bride-to-be naked in the warm bubble bath beside me.
“That bath looks glorious you know.”
“It’s so lovely. Why don’t you get Yasmin undressed and she can join me.”
“I’m almost undressed now myself. You reckon there’s enough room for me too?”
“I reckon I could make room. What do you think Yasmin?”
“Ggg”
“I’ll take that as a yes. Don’t you agree?”
Yasmin kicks her little legs in delight as I undress her and lower her gently in beside her older sister into the warm bubble water as I quickly pull off my shirt and climb in beside them. It’s a tight fit but delightful to feel Megan’s sexy body close to mine in the warm water as I sit facing her running my hands over her feet and calves.
“You are so beautiful Megan.”
“Thank you. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of hearing you say that Liam. You really are someone very special. Though I still can’t quite believe I’m going to be Mrs patron saint of desperate situations!”
“Hey it’s not all that bad. I once read somewhere this lovely phrase. Something about sometimes our most desperate situations lead to..what was it?”
“Our most beautiful moments. Someone really should make a bookmark saying that you know.”
“We’ll if they did I’d definitely buy it because it sums up both our lives so much.” |
Chapter 245
Megan
After such a lovely end to Wednesday Thursday proves to be more ordinary, well as ordinary as things ever get for Liam and I. Liam gets a call early on from the co-op saying that an estate agent is popping over later in the afternoon to value the house as part of the arrangements for valuing the estate, as well as another call from Lauren threatening him. Thankfully the second one just makes him laugh as we decide to do a final clear out of what we can in the morning and a quick run to the local civic amenity site before lunch.
Assuming Liam is either selling the house or not planning to come back anytime soon I clear out the kitchen cupboards and throw out anything we won’t be eating today and take the bin bag out to the bin. I manage to catch Jim returning to his house from his garage and he kindly agrees to put the bin out for collection when it’s due. I’m busy wiping the cupboards down as Liam gives the place a hoover and dust before the estate agent arrives when my own mobile rings. Climbing down from the little step stool I found I go to answer it and get such a surprise to hear it’s Cara inviting us both over later with Yasmin before we have to return to Ireland on the overnight ferry. She casually comments about how much easier it will be to have a car this time and I suddenly remember that Liam still hasn’t managed to book the car on the ferry!
I pop through to the living room to speak to Liam, who has thankfully finished hoovering while Yasmin naps upstairs and I ask him about the car.
“I did try honey but when I looked at how much extra it was I didn’t have the money. They wanted over £100 for it!”
“That’s a bit steep! I guess we’ll need to leave the car. Such a shame as it would have made getting your extra clothes and things back so much easier too. I don’t think I have that much either to be honest but I can call the bank and see. I think there’s still a little cash left from what Gareth gave me too. I’ll have a look and see what I can muster. Do you think they’d let us pay cash tonight at the port or does it have to be booked online?”
“I think as long as there’s room on the ferry we could pay cash? I’ll just put this vacuum away if you are able to see if we have enough cash then I can ring StenaLine and see. I wonder if Aunt Ella has any more cash lying around? I could maybe check the car and her purse should be in her handbag if we find that. I mean it’ll be mine soon enough and I know she’d have wanted to help us. After all she left the car to me didn’t she?”
“That’s true. I’ll see what I can find then if you could check if with the ferry company to see if there’s space and if we can pay cash when we get there.”
I find my purse and empty it out onto the dining table as I then look around for any handbags. There’s some coats hanging near the bottom of the stairs and amazingly under the coat that had Ella’s car keys in I find a neat black handbag with a purse inside. Tipping it out on a pile a bit further away on the table I can see very quickly that between both purses there looks to be at least £100 as I lay all Liam’s aunt’s bank cards out to dispose of or call to report her death. There’s quite a collection of points cards, a driver’s license, an ID card for her work, a credit card and bank card and a few store cards as a tinge of guilt washes over me at the very idea of prying in another person’s purse. Liam walks in, clearly on the phone as I hear him sigh before covering the receiver and mocking the voice on the other end.
“‘Your call is important to us. Please be patient and we’ll be with you as soon as we can..’ Not that important otherwise they’d answer right away eh! God I hate call centres, don’t you?”
I nod, then thinking I hear a noise I head upstairs to check on Yasmin. She’s awake so I change her and being her downstairs to hear Liam talking to someone at last as I try to listen in. Only hearing what he’s saying though I have to wait until he gets off the phone to know the answer, which is making me a little nervous.
“So. Firstly we can pay cash at the port tonight but unfortunately they are fully booked for vehicles tonight. What they did say though was that sometimes they have late cancellations or people don’t turn up in time so they advised us to go in plenty time and pay and then we can sit in the car and they’ll do what they can to get us on at the end. If the car can’t get on we can go on by foot because we already have tickets for that and the car can come on the next ferry tomorrow morning as there’s space then. Obviously not ideal but I said we’d give it a go. I think if we pack the essentials in our bags we came with and put the additional things in other bags then if we can’t get across with the car we can take out what we need quickly. That sounds ok to you?”
“Sounds great. Do you think we should pack everything and take the car to Paul and Cara’s and go straight from there or come back here first?”
“Mmm. I think take the car and go right to the port from there don’t you think? The earlier we get there the more likely they are to get the car on if there’s space.”
“Yeah. Sounds a good plan. I’ll sort all this money out if you are ok getting this little one a drink and maybe a biscuit if there’s any left? Hopefully that estate agent will be here soon and then we can load the car.”
I hand Yasmin to Liam and put all the money from both purses back into my own finding an elastic band for Ella’s cards and putting them in my handbag. If I get time before we need to leave I’ll get Liam to call the solicitor and list the cards so they can inform them, if not he can always do it from Bangor tomorrow. I go to check Liam is ok with Yasmin but before I reach them in the kitchen I hear the front doorbell and open it to the estate agent. The smartly dressed woman smiles and introduces herself before remarking how rare it is to have a house on this street come on the market and how she could sell the house four times over before even looking around! Apparently she has a queue of buyers looking to move to this very area. I turn to look at Liam who must have heard the bell and is now right beside me.
“It was my aunt’s house. She passed away a few weeks ago and the solicitor is finalising her estate. I am the sole inheritor but I haven’t decided wether to sell the house or move here yet. I’ll show you around though. Please excuse all our luggage. We’re leaving tonight and haven’t packed the car yet.”
“Oh don’t worry about bags Mr….Jude. I’ve seen far far worse, believe me. As I said it’s a rare treat to get to be in Westminster Road. Such a highly sought after area. If you could just guide me around including any gardens or garages that would be great please.”
I leave Liam to it as I return upstairs to finish packing with Yasmin, acknowledging the estate agent when she comes upstairs but otherwise staying out her way. Liam pops up later to say she’s gone and to ask if we’re having anything to eat before we head to Paul and Cara’s.
“There’s some bread, cheese and cold meat left but not much else.”
“How about I make some toasties then? What time are Paul and Cara expecting us?”
“They said any time after 6.”
“Great. Still plenty time to eat, pack the car and get organised. You want me to take Yasmin down?”
I look at my baby sister who is happily pulling clothes back out of bags that I’ve just packed.
“Yes. That would be a big help. Thanks.” |
Chapter 246
Liam
Lauren continues to annoy me with her ongoing calls demanding money. I can’t even find £100 to pay to get my aunt’s car back to Ireland on the ferry so she can take a hike for money as far as I’m concerned. It’s actually making me laugh how desperate she is as I shrug off her latest call. I have way too much else to do to worry about her right now!
The thought of leaving Chester tonight fills me with a huge range of very mixed emotions. As much as I love Bangor this feels much more like home and it’s been lovely sharing that with Megan and Yasmin. Yet at the sane time this house intensifies my deep grief for my aunt Ella as everything reminds me of her and my years living here. It’s like at any moment I could sob for Britain or burn deeply with anger at my aunt’s sudden death. Bagging up my aunt’s coats, hats and bags leaves the hooks by the stairs in the dining room feel so empty and cold as we fill the car with as much as we can for a trip to the dump. Squashing the bin bags into the large clothing recycling bins feels almost like squashing my aunt’s own body and I want to suddenly pull everything back out and return it home hoping it’s all been a terrible dream and my aunt will be home from work soon.
The house seems more bare than ever when we return as Megan organises Yasmin for a nap and we both set about cleaning, partly because there’s an estate agent coming to value the house soon and party to leave it clean because we’re leaving tonight. Just when I finish hoovering the living room Megan pops in to ask about taking the car on the ferry. I sigh, recalling seeing how much it cost and being unable to book it as I didn’t have the money. Megan takes this news surprisingly well and between us we come up with a solution. I ring StenaLine, though I detest call centres with a passion, and finally talk to a human. It’s looking like we might have quite a wait at the port tonight while they wait to see if anyone cancels or doesn’t show up, but it’ll be so worth it if we can get the car over too.
The estate agent is way younger than I expected and quite determined to try and get the property on the market. She must say at least four times that she has buyers waiting to purchase, which I confess makes me feel a little uneasy. Am I really ready to never be here again? I’m not sure I am. Some of her questions are tricky to answer like how old the boiler is and when the kitchen was installed. I hazard a guess as best I can and show her the detached garage and the garden while she takes copious photos and continues on about what a marvellous location it is and how beautiful the house is. I’m glad when she finally leaves as I go looking for Megan and find her in the main bedroom packing.
After a snack Megan and I take several runs out to the garage to pack it ready for the ferry. I forget to leave room in the boot for the buggy and Megan has to put some bags and boxes in the back beside Yasmin to make room, but we manage to get everything in well enough and then I carry Yasmin in her car seat out, lock up for the final time and I drive us the short distance to Paul and Cara’s.
I’ve never actually been in their flat before and it reminds me somewhat of my own flat back in Bangor, though much bigger. We get a brief tour and Yasmin gets excited when we enter Joshua’s nursery and she sees toys and teddies and books. Cara encourages Megan to let Yasmin explore and Paul puts Joshua down as we stand watching the babies crawling around in the child friendly room. I wish my spare bedroom back in Bangor was as big as this room as I try to image how full it would look with just a cot in let alone drawers, a wardrobe and book shelves like this room. I’m still admiring the room and watching the two babies when Megan comments.
“Joshua is such a lucky boy having a room like this. Yasmin has never even had a room of her own. Her cot was still in mam and dad’s room at home and since I left she’s not even had a cot. This must feel like heaven to her.”
I glance down at Yasmin, feeling sorry for her, and suddenly very protective of her. She might only be one but she’s already been through so much and she doesn’t deserve any if it.
“Have you had dinner yet guys? Paul isn’t that long finished work and we’ve not eaten yet. Paul was thinking of maybe ordering an Indian if you both like that?”
“God that’s sounds brilliant! I’ve not had an Indian takeaway in ages!”
Megan appears enthusiastic too though she seems quiet and contemplative watching Yasmin. I wonder if Cara is trying to read her thoughts as she quietly mentions that they have plenty food for the kids so not to worry. Megan nods before sitting on the floor beside Yasmin and helping her onto a push along car.
“She’s never been on one of these before. I don’t think she’s quite ready to make it move yet but what a fun toy eh Yasmin? Toot toot. You driving like Liam now?”
I don’t know what it is about Megan calling me Liam to Yasmin but I look at them feeling strange. That’s compounded almost instantly when little Joshua picks up a toy and turns to his parents saying very clearly ‘da da’ to Paul. I know I am not Yasmin’s biological dad but how I wish she too were calling me ‘da da’ and not just Liam.
“It’s his latest word. Always makes me smile though since he’s with me way more than his dad, but I’m not going to sulk. His little voice is too cute to be angry.”
Megan smiles but I see the pain in her eyes and I feel that sting too. I wonder if she’ll say anything but she appears to not want to and as I don’t know enough about Downs I don’t feel I can comment either. Anyway, just because Yasmin isn’t talking yet that doesn’t mean she won’t? She’s tiny still so plenty of time left to master that.
We eventually leave and return to the main room and decide on food which Paul orders on his phone. Cara pours us all drinks, all non alcoholic which saves the awkwardness of having to say no due to driving, and we start to relax more as we all settle and the food eventually arrives. Megan eats more that I thought she would declaring it the best Indian take out she’s ever had! There’s a lot of laughter, fun, sharing and getting to know each other more as Cara teases us both relentlessly about not even having rings to show we are engaged. It’s a bit embarrassing but all in good fun as we invent all sorts of hilarious rings for each other from onion rings to cardboard rings to even Nan bread rings! It’s great to hear Megan laugh as I look at her realising once again how beautiful she is and how much I adore her. Despite being in company I can’t resist kissing her as Paul wolf whistles and Cara cheers us on. Even Yasmin is happy and loving playing after devouring a plate of warm tomato pasta that Cara made for her and Joshua.
For the first time since being with Megan it feels like we are a young couple loving life rather than dealing with the relentless stress of Shaun Murphy, Megan’s awful family life and my worries about money and all the crap with Lauren. We’ve never just been ‘Liam and Meg’ which I hadn’t even realised until tonight as Paul suggests a game while Cara puts Joshua down to bed. Mega seems a little unsure on the floor playing with Yasmin but I notice she visibly relaxes seeing Paul pull out a box of Uno cards. I haven’t played that in years but I’m determined to win. Cara tops up our glasses with lemonade and Paul shuffles the cards.
This feels like the life I should have had back when I was Megan’s age, full of love, friends and good times. It’s so different to things in Bangor but maybe that needs to change? We might be physically leaving England in a few hours but after all that’s happened in our short time here maybe there is more we need to take back than just boxes of old photos and clothes of mine? Whatever happens we really need to stay friends with Paul and Cara. |
Chapter 247
Megan
As we pack the car I can’t help thinking how on earth we managed getting everything here without a car. It feels like we have at least twice as much stuff now with personal items from the house, including some precious photos and loads more of Liam’s clothes. It’s a squash fitting the buggy into the small boot but with some careful planning we manage to get loads in the small car. I dread thinking what we’ll do if we can’t get the car on the ferry though!
The drive to Paul and Cara’s is incredibly short but it means we don’t need to come back to the house afterwards. Their flat is beautiful and seeing Joshua’s nursery reminds me just how squashed my home was growing up and how much Yasmin has missed out on. The space to play is in such stark contrast to the Murphy house back in Bangor with its small shared bedrooms and cramped living room. There’s toys here that Yasmin can only dream of ever owning and it’s way better than any toddler group as I watch my sister attempt to get on a little push along car. It does make me swallow a lump though as I realise driving her own car is another milestone that my sister is likely to never achieve. When Joshua then starts saying a clear ‘dada’ I can’t help but feel sad at the fact Yasmin still isn’t talking even though I know she’s still young. Hearing a child younger than her doing it jabs sharply at my heart.
I cheer up though as we order Indian food and the babies play around us on the living room floor. Yasmin has never had another baby to play with and seeing her with Joshua is so beautiful I take a few pics on my phone to remember it. I’m a little worried that Yasmin can’t manage the spicy food we’ve ordered but Cara has already thought of that and Yasmin adores the warm tomato pasta Cara brings in for the children. It’s clearly home made which makes me want to get back to making food myself for Yasmin when I get back to Ireland. The Indian take away is absolutely delicious, the best I can ever remember having by far, and I can’t help myself eating plenty thinking it will save me from being hungry on the ferry.
We have such a great laugh with Paul and Cara and it’s so lovely laughing, joking and fooling around together, more care free than I can ever remember being. There’s so much food and drink and I even somehow manage to beat everyone at Uno despite never playing it before! We get sone selfies with Paul and Cara and they take some fun pics of Liam and myself and our makeshift rings as we promise to invite them to the wedding, whenever it is. It’s hard to say goodbye as we hug, kiss and wave frantically as we get back into the car and head to the port, all of us promising to stay in touch. We drive the 20 minutes to Birkenhead ferry terminal arriving an hour before the ferry is due to leave at 10pm. We park up and Liam heads into the passenger area to pay the extra for the car. He returns with a male StenaLine employee who points to where we need to line the car up to wait. There’s already one car in front of us as I look at Liam and he looks at me as he puts the handbrake on and turns off the engine. We are clearly not the only ones hoping for a last minute car space tonight!
I look back to check on Yasmin but as her car seats faces the rear I can’t see her so I step out and look in the back window to see her soundly sleeping in her car seat. I’m not at all surprised after her fun evening as I step back inside the car for safety as other cars start lining up ready to board and the ferry is already in the port waiting. Getting back into the front passenger seat I glance over towards the covered terminal building wondering if I could go in. With all the laughter and fun at Cara and Paul’s I never thought to ask to use their bathroom before leaving and all the liquid I consumed there is now sitting heavily in my bladder.
“Do you think we’re allowed out the vehicle Liam? Just to pop into the building there?”
“I’m not sure, why?”
“I should have went to the toilet before we left Cara and Paul’s. With getting Yasmin ready to leave and all the goodbyes I completely forgot about going.”
“There’s a StenaLine employee just approaching now. Hole on I’ll put the window down and ask.”
“Can I check your tickets please? Thank you. Have you been made aware that the car deck is fully booked tonight and you will only be allowed the car on if there’s space at the end?”
“Yes. Is there usually any spaces in situations like this?”
“It all depends to be honest. For a small car like this your chances are slightly greater as we go by weight and size but if everyone turns up I’m afraid you will need to go into the office and they will exchange your tickets for the next available ferry. This close to Easter I can’t say when that would be though. If you could remain here though and once we start boarding if there’s space it’s done on first come first serviced. There’s only one car ahead of you in the same position so hopefully you get on.”
“If there’s no space I was told on the phone I could park the car and leave the keys and the car would be put on at the next available ferry. Our foot tickets will still be valid won’t they?”
“Ah. I’ll speak to one of my colleagues about that. We have a queue of foot passengers waiting for last minute places too so I’ll need to let them know as otherwise they may board someone else in your place. I’ll just finish what I’m doing and I’ll be back with you.”
“Thank you. Oh and my partner was wondering if we are allowed out our vehicle to go into the building?”
“Not at the moment sir. There’s too many vehicles around. I’ll see what I can do when I get back to you though. Thanks for travelling with StenaLine tonight and I hope you get on board.”
Liam presses to put his window back up as he turns and looks at me.
“He did say he’d come back. You ok to wait?”
“I don’t have much choice do I?” |
Chapter 248
Liam
Leaving Paul and Cara’s is quite a wrench as none of us want the time together to end, but equally I am concerned about getting to the ferry in time. Thankfully the M53 is quiet and we arrive in good time filing behind one other car waiting to see if there will be room for us to board with the vehicle. A man in his forties wearing high visibility clothing over his StenaLine uniform waves us neatly into line as far to the right of the building as possible before checking our tickets. I’m getting a little anxious seeing just how many vehicles are here already so I question him about a few things, including asking if Megan can get out the car and go into the building as she commented that she needed the loo just moments before he walked up to the car.
I understand why he says it’s not safe and after I’ve put the window up and he’s walked to the next car I look at Megan to make sure she heard. I feel for her. Neither of us used the bathroom at Paul and Cara’s, rather foolishly, but at the moment I don’t feel bothered by that myself. Hopefully the wait won’t be too long or Megan won’t be alone with a full bladder!
Ten minutes pass and with the engine turned off the car is cooling down quickly. Megan hasn’t said much but suddenly now out of nowhere she wriggles on her seat and talks to the front windows as if that might help.
“He said he’d come back. I wish he’d hurry up. They haven’t even started boarding yet so I’d have plenty time to go to the ladies and get back. Oh where is he?”
I look around using my mirrors and windows but there’s no sign of any staff now other than right by the front of the ferry. I do notice a sign ahead though for the first time which clearly reads that passengers must remain in their cars at all times for safety. I daren’t say this to Megan right now though as I can already see that she’s frustrated and restless.
“Where is he?”
“The only staff I can see honey are up by the boat. I’m sure he’ll return as soon as he can.”
“I hope you’re right Liam. Gosh I really wish I’d been to the bathroom before we left Cara’s. I can’t believe I never thought!”
“You’re not the only one. I didn’t go either.”
She turns and looks at me, her expression one of concern and curiosity.
“Do you need to go too? I’ve been wanting to go since we were about half way here. I just assumed we’d be allowed into the building when we got here. I never really thought they’d make us wait in our cars all this time.”
“I didn’t either. I don’t need to go right this minute but by the time we finally get onto that ferry I’m sure I will. You’d think they’d at least let people use the toilets wouldn’t you? Oh look someone is coming this way. Would you like me to ask again?”
“Yes please.”
I press to lower the window and get the attention of the employee.
“Excuse me. My girlfriend really needs to use the ladies. Is there any possibility she could pop into the terminal building at all?”
“I’m really sorry sir but health and safety rules mean everyone travelling by car must remain in their vehicles until boarded. It’s for everyone’s safety. We’re just doing final safety checks then in about half an hour we’ll commence boarding. It shouldn’t be too long now.”
I look at Megan sympathetically. I know she heard just as clearly as I did. I’m not sure what to say to comfort her apart from the obvious.
“You ok to wait?”
“I haven’t got any choice have I? I could kick myself not using the loo before I left though. I really need to go.”
“I know. Please God let them have room for the car tonight.”
“It’s nice to hear you praying Liam. I need to get back to my prayers, especially tomorrow with it being Good Friday. I’ve only just realised we get back to Ireland on Good Friday morning.”
“I hadn’t even realised that either.”
“I wonder how Rory and Anthony have enjoyed their Holy Week? I bet dad took them to chapel every evening. We always do that in Holy Week.”
“I wonder if the police told your brother you were with me. I’m dreading work on Monday if they did”
“Won’t you be off Monday? It’s a public holiday for Easter Monday.”
“I hadn’t even realised. I guess I might. You ok?”
I look at my wife-to-be as she squirms more on her seat, changing position and tapping her foot impatiently.
“I really need to pee. Half an hour before they even start boarding? Then they need to wait and see if there’s room at the end? God I envy Yasmin right now in nappies so I do! I haven’t had a pee since we left your aunt’s hours ago and I can’t even remember all I drank at Cara’s. Oh Liam! I can’t believe they won’t let me out the car to use the toilets! All this water isn’t helping me either. I can’t be the first person who has needed to use the toilets while waiting to board? This is crazy!”
I look at the huge lines of vehicles all waiting to board and wonder to myself. That’s really quite a thought indeed. How many other vehicles right beside us have a bursting driver or passengers twisting and squirming in their seats longing for the ferry to finally board so they can find the bathrooms? Listening to my Megan scissoring her legs in and out I can feel my own dick growing in my jeans. What if Megan really can’t wait? I blush at the thought and the inevitable reaction in my crotch. It would be a nuisance having to clean the seat of the car on the ferry but it’ll hardly be Megan’s fault if she can’t wait now will it? |
Chapter 249
Megan
It’s dark, colder, the ferry terminal staff appear to be doing very little, and time feels like it’s going in eternal slow motion because all I can think about is the fact there’s toilets in the terminal building but I can’t use them! It’s not Liam’s fault so I’m doing my best not to get stressed at him, but the person who checked our tickets did say he’d come back and he hasn’t! I don’t understand why I can’t just nip out the car, pop into the building, use the toilet and return quickly. It’s not like we’re going anywhere anytime soon!
I try talking to Liam to distract myself but I have to keep moving in the seat or tapping my foot or shuffling about a bit. I’ve gone from just needing to go when we were on the way here to now not being able to think of anything else! Even hearing that Liam didn’t go to the toilet at Paul and Cara’s isn’t helping, though I’m surprised he’s not needing to go yet too.
Finally someone is coming back! Thank goodness! Liam mentions the fact I need the toilet and I’m praying he takes pity on me, but alas it’s apparently ‘against health and safety’ or something else equally as annoying and ridiculous. I want to scream and give the poor man a look of horror and distain. If he’s worried about the cars why can’t he escort me safely to the building in his high visibility coat? It’s not like I’m asking to touch up my make up or chat with a friend or something else as trivial. This is a bodily need…and one which he can surely see is genuine? Nonetheless he walks away shrugging his shoulders as if my bladder means nothing to him.
Liam, bless him, tries his best to reassure me and chat, probably trying to distract me, but it’s not really helping as I have to reposition myself on the seat yet again and even scissor my legs in and out. There’s no point trying to hide my desperation now as Liam already knows and besides I can’t sit still even if I wanted to. I glance back to Yasmin in her car seat and although she’s facing away from me I have this weird jealousy that she never needs to worry about her bladder filling at awkward times because she’s wearing a nappy. I can’t believe I’m even jealous of a 1 year old sleeping baby! I swear it’s the stress of waiting for the loo that’s doing it. It’s making me think crazy things now.
Talking isn’t helping anymore as I drift into an uncomfortable silence as my mind needs all its energy to concentrate on holding my bladder back. I’ve undone my seat belt since we’re clearly not going anywhere anytime soon and the belt was digging into my aching bladder. It helps that I can change positions much easier now as I try sitting forwards with my legs crossed watching the huge ferry and willing it to allow us to board. As if the boat reads my thoughts the huge security gates finally open and the staff in high visibility jackets part to form two rows as I start to get excited that boarding might finally be commencing. I look around excitedly tucking a hand into my upper thigh as I bite my lower lip gently and hope we won’t be much longer now.
Unfortunately the only people moving are more StenaLine staff who wheel trolleys into the ferry presumably to either clean or restock. I can’t quite see what’s on the trolleys but there’s a good few of them going on board and some staff leaving too. I suppose it’s all progress but things are just not happening quick enough for me as I squirm around on the seat and sigh.
“Looks like boarding might start soon honey. I think that’s the food and drink being restocked now. Shouldn’t be too much longer I would think.”
“I hope not.”
Liam turns to look at me, his face a little flushed and his eyes sympathetic. As annoyed and uncomfortable as I am I know none of this is his fault as I slide my hand deeper towards my crotch while Liam can’t help but stare. In a whisper he looks back up from my crotch to my face as our eyes meet.
“Can you wait?”
“I’m trying my best to. I’m bursting though!”
“You look it.”
“My bladder actually hurts a bit. My skirt waistband is digging in which isn’t helping. I can’t even think about anything else now it’s so bad.”
“Would it be more comfortable if you took your skirt off?”
“A lot more. But I can’t, can I? How would that look if one of the staff comes to the car? It’s bad enough me holding myself like this but I can’t sit with just my knickers on as much as I want to.”
“I don’t mind taking my hoodie off. You could put that over your lap instead if anyone approaches. They’d just think you were cold or something? I mean only if it makes things a bit easier for you to try and wait.”
“I guess that might work. If you won’t be cold in just your t-shirt that is?”
“Don’t worry about me. Let’s just try and help you stay dry until you reach a toilet in the ferry.”
I watch as Liam slides his navy hoodie off his arms and goes to hand me it as I slide my skirt down by lifting my bottom off the seat and pulling it down. Immediately I have to wedge my hand between my legs again as I plop back down onto the passenger seat quickly, the movement jerking my overfull bladder so much I gasp. I squirm and fidget in the seat pushing my bottom as far back as possible and tensing my muscles. I’m stroking between my legs furiously and bouncing on the seat as I look at Liam in concern.
“I’m so desperate honey. If they don’t get us on board shortly I don’t know what I’ll do! I’m worried I’m going to burst here!” |
Chapter 250
Liam
I hate seeing Megan so stressed even if her squirming, holding, and fidgeting is turning me on! I can see myself how hard and full her bladder looks and it seems perfectly sensible to me that she removes her skirt and just makes herself decent by covering her lap with my hoodie. I won’t deny that I can’t stop myself staring in awe as she slips her pleated midi skirt off revealing lovely pink knickers underneath! Watching her suddenly throwing her hand over them is so hot as she squirms openly in front of me and bites her lip. Geez she must be so desperate now to be moving like she is. It’s making me hard and very horny as I shiver at the temperature change with removing my hoodie. I’m tempted to turn the engine back on just to warm the car but my hands are so sweaty and clammy watching and hearing Megan that i’m not sure I could even hold the key right now never mind turn it, especially when Megan comments that if they don’t get us on board soon she’ll burst! I could easily believe that watching her frantic movements too!
I so want to help her somehow as I look at her in a mix of wonder and sympathy. Although she’s taken my hoodie from me she hasn’t yet managed to cover her lap as the hood hangs loosely over one of her knees as her hand kneads between her legs frantically. Think Liam think!
“Would it help if I put my hand there?”, I say, shaking with both the coolness of the car and major arousal.
“I don’t know honey. I guess it’s worth a try.”
It’s not so easy to get my hand exactly where we’d both like it as I twist my wrist and stretch my arm as best as I can. Megan helps all she can by wriggling towards me on the seat and pushing firmly against my palm. Her cotton knickers feel fabulous and sexy, but damp against my hand. I can’t tell if it’s urine or something else as I press as firmly as I can against my girlfriend’s crotch as she rocks against my palm panting.
“Look out to make sure no-one sees us Liam. Oh I’m so bursting for the toilet! I really really gotta go! Are you shaking Liam?”
“A bit. Sorry. It’s cooled right down and the hairs on my arms are rising because I’m shivering but if this is helping you then don’t worry. I’ll do this for however long you need honey.”
She looks at me blushing as she grips the door handle with one hand and squirms firmly against my hand and arm even harder than before. I can’t help but feel that what we are doing is so similar to something else…and my throbbing dick clearly agrees as it pounds hard against me in my joggers.
“Are you sure no-one can see us Liam. Ahhhh. You have no idea how much I want to pee!”
I can’t help it. It’s just my dumb ass brain at it again as I seriously feel my body yearning for Megan’s with every thrust, every push, every rock she does against my palm.
“If it’s even half as much as I want to make love to you right now baby then, yes, I do have some idea how desperate you are! If you keep throbbing against my hand like that I’ll be coming in my joggers!”
“I can’t stop Liam! I’m frantic to get to a loo. In fact even if we move now I doubt I’ll make it.”
Something makes me suddenly turn and look out the window as I hear footsteps, pull my hand away from Megan’s knickers throwing her my hoodie quickly as I turn on the drivers seat to look out the front window as my heart beats so fast I can hear it in both my ears. There’s a tap at the window as I hear Megan gasp in the seat beside me.
“You’re in luck. Looks like you’re getting on tonight with the car folks. We’ll start with row 1 then fill the ferry in row order. This is row six so if you could watch for this row here finishing then follow where you are told to go please. They’ll fit you in right at the end. Please remain in your vehicle until the crew announce you can leave. Thanks.”
“That’s great. Thanks. Excuse me but can I ask you something before you go please?”
“Yes sir. How can I help?”
“We asked earlier but it’s a real emergency situation now. My partner here, Megan. It’s just…well she’s been needing the ladies ever since before we got here and…
“Oh please! I’m begging you! I honestly can’t wait until we get on the ferry! I’m about to embarrass myself here. Please may I run into the building? I promise I’ll be really quick!”
I’m not sure if he’s being a complete dick or just a jobsworth but I so want to slap the self righteous look off the employees face when he looks right over at Megan, my Megan, and shakes his head in disgust at her squirming and her obvious hand between her legs under my hoodie on her lap.
“Company policy sorry. Happens a lot. Shouldn’t be long now. As I say if you could follow where my colleagues lead you. Thanks.”
I push the window up unsure how to comfort Megan now. Up ahead I can see cars starting to move over the ferry bridge and onto the ferry as I turn the engine on and do up my seatbelt.
“Pig!”
“That’s the cars finally loading now honey. You’ve done so well to wait this long. Not much longer, I promise.”
I turn to look at Megan who has her body bend forward and her head down at her knees.
“What you doing?”
“Getting my skirt back on as best I can again. And looking in my handbag to see if I’ve got any tissues. Oh I can feel it nearly coming out! Oh God I’m never going to make it! I can’t hold this any longer!”
I try to face forwards concentrating on watching the cars driving onto the ferry in order waiting for our turn. My dick is long and hard and throbbing but I daren’t even touch myself or else I know exactly what will happen. I have no idea what exactly Megan is doing but her words alone are making my head spin as I ache so much to explode and release.
“Liam, don’t look ok! I don’t want anyone to know about this!”
I don’t know what she’s doing but I can see her hand gripping the seat so tightly her bottom raises from the seat and her knuckles are white.
“Oh. Ah. Mary mother of Jesus I gotta go so bad! Pfffff. No. No. Come on Megan you gotta do this. Oh no! It’s coming Liam! I’m not able to keep this back. I’m bloody dying to go. It’s so impossible to hold any more. Oh that’s it. Just a tiny bit. Ok I got this. Oh fuck fuck that’s even worse! Hurry up! I need to go to the toilet like right now! I mean it! It’s coming out! I’m starting to do it! I’m not kidding Liam! Get me to a toilet! Let me out this car so I don’t pee everywhere. Please!”
“I can’t. The row before is moving now. Look! Do what you can sweetheart. You’re so close to getting to the toilet now. Just do your best.”
There’s silence as Megan suddenly pushes back onto her seat with a sigh. I can’t help but assume she’s given up and I imagine pee running down her legs, wetting her beautiful knickers and pooling on the passenger seat beside me. Precum surges out my throbbing dick making my underwear warm and sticky as I pull the handbrake off, find the bite and we finally move towards the ferry at last. As we bump over the small ramp onto the huge boat I finally ask my girlfriend if she’s ok.
“I’ve leaked a lot but I think it’s ok. I’m still really really desperate but the seat should be ok. There was one of Yasmin’s nappies in my handbag and I put it into my knickers like a sanitary towel. I daren’t risk leaking another drop though. I’m terrified it’ll overflow. Oh Liam, I still have to go so so bad! Please tell me there’s bathrooms on this level of the ferry. Oh oh ffff…oh let us out this car! Come on! There’s gonna be a huge puddle if they don’t!” |
Chapter 252
Liam
Finally driving onto the ferry I feel so relieved that there was space for the car, though as expected we are right at the rear of the ferry directly behind a red Mondeo as ferry staff wave me closer and closer until I am sure I will be in his boot! Minutes after I hear the ferry doors closing and Megan moaning about still not being allowed out the car yet. Ever since coming in my trousers minutes ago I have a very sudden and strong need to piss too but it feels grossly insensitive to mention this to Megan given how long she's been holding on for. Instead I squeeze myself and clench tightly and do my best to wait. I can see ahead of me on every row staff in high visibility clothing making their way down the rows of cars as they pause at the red car in front and I push my window door anticipating someone coming to speak to us next.
Instead I hear the driver in front shouting and ranting to the poor employee as I blush with embarrassment despite how badly I need to pee. Megan can clearly hear every word too as we eagerly await someone coming to tell us whatever it is the staff are saying to every car. We can’t help but overhear the long and angry rant as I silently sympathise with the poor driver and wonder how the employee will react. It really is ridiculous that they expect people to remain shut in their cars so long waiting. What do they expect when people have driven to get here and it’s late at night with few places open? The foot passengers, like we were coming the way and I was the time I first went to Ireland, are clearly able to use all the facilities in the terminal building so it feels wrong that car passengers and drivers can’t, especially given how much extra they are already paying to travel!
I’m not overly shocked to see the man piss against his own car. In fact I’m sorely tempted to copy him if they don’t allow us out soon! Looking at Megan, whose cheeks are bright red with the exertion of holding her own bladder, makes me feel awful for even thinking it though when she can’t do the same. Finally we hear the announcements saying we are allowed to leave our vehicles and I decide to just get the baby and return later for our bags.
I have no idea at all where the toilets might be as we hesitantly follow everyone else and climb some stairs to the next level all the time looking frantically all around for any signs of ladies or gents. Finally Megan points over to a queue of people and I put the car seat down and squeeze myself not even caring who sees me anymore.
“I’m leaking so much Liam. There’s absolutely no way I could wait in line. How about we go straight to our room?”
Glancing at the lines I nod in agreement, pick up the sleeping child in her car seat and head to the customer service area to show our booking and find where our cabin is. So many others must have the same idea though as we join a short queue here and poor Megan dances from foot to foot constantly. I slide a hand into my joggers pocket and push my desperate dick between my legs and squeeze it for all I can hoping it prevents me soaking myself in public. Finally it’s our turn and I hastily show the staff member our booking on my phone and we are issued with our card and directed to our cabin…which unfortunately is up another level again! I grab the car seat and rush to the stairs as poor Megan struggles to keep up with me. As I take the metal stairs two at a time I hear Megan moaning behind me.
“Slow down Liam please. I’m almost having an accident here!”
I look down at her near the bottom of the stairs and want to scream.
“Me too! That’s why I’m hurrying honey. I’m about to piss myself here babe. Come on! It’s cabin 8 we’re in.”
At the top of the stairs I have to put the car seat down and press my legs together and grab myself again. If Megan doesn’t catch me up quickly I’ll be disgracing myself right here! Thankfully she joins me soon after as we hobble along the narrow corridor to cabin 8 and I use the card to unlock our cabin. Holding the door open for Megan I suddenly realise that she’ll reach the bathroom before me and I panic. There’s no way I can hold back while she goes! I can feel urine surging down my urethra in anticipation already and I slide the car seat in with my feet allowing the door to self close as I race behind Megan towards the only bathroom.
It’s too late and Megan is already bending down and pulling her pants down letting me see clearly the small baby’s nappy she has stuck in her underwear. In one swift move she pulls the wet nappy out, sits down and immediately lets loose a long powerful flow which fascinates and infuriates me in equal measure. Without hesitation I pull my own joggers down, step closer to Megan and pull her beautiful legs apart so I can aim my anatomy into the toilet and pee alongside her. Urine shoots out of me at such force I need to steady myself as Megan shuffles back on the toilet to give me more room. My head is spinning with the adrenaline surge of finally making it as I take a deep breath and realise just how close it really was. As my body relaxes more and my bladder empties urgently I look again at the wet nappy on the floor by my feet.
“That was pretty genius of you thinking of that Meg. I can’t believe you held so long! I barely made it on time and only really started feeling it after I ummm…you know. How long was that you were bursting? Jesus, at least an hour! You are bloody amazing you are sweetheart. In fact I think I could easily marry you you know.”
“I’m absolutely exhausted now! I can’t get over how wet that nappy is and I still did such a long wee too! I feel so much better now, don’t you?”
“Much much better! But I could really go a cup of tea now! I’m gasping with all the stress of that wait.”
“Oh tea sound blissful! Are you ok to get our stuff up from the car and I’ll get Yasmin into the cot and make us both a cuppa. Just my backpack and the changing bag…oh and my hand bag please. You sure you ok to carry all that?”
I wash my hands with Megan standing right beside me as I lean over and kiss her forehead.
“No problem honey. You sure you are ok with the baby?”
“Yeah. I’m just going to take her coat off and lay her straight in the cot. She might wake up through the night for milk but she might sleep through. We’ve got an early rise anyway.”
“That’s true. Right, I’ll be back in a bit. I can’t wait for that cuppa.” |
Chapter 253
Megan
I feel like a whole new woman finally getting to the toilet, though I’m not surprised that the baby’s nappy I wedged unceremoniously between my legs in the car is heavy and soaked through. As I pull back on the toilet pan to allow Liam to piss between my legs I am shocked at just how much he goes and amazed he didn’t need to go so much earlier! What a huge relief though to finally have an empty bladder, so much so that my whole body is exhausted and weary. When Liam suggests a cup of tea I am thrilled as all the rushing around and waiting has given me a bit of a headache and made me really quite thirsty too.
While he returns to the car deck for our things I fill the small kettle in the room then gently get Yasmin out her car seat and lie her in the travel cot that’s already set up in the cabin. Yasmin briefly wakes, looks around, then quietly closes her eyes again and thankfully falls straight back to sleep. Meanwhile I’ve made two mugs of tea and opened a bottled water from the small fridge and drank almost half the water while my tea cools. Liam, bless him, has managed to lug so much up from the car as I look out clean clothes from my backpack for Yasmin and a clean bottle ready for if she wakes. I notice that the only milk is in tiny sachets for the tea and coffee so I dig out some ready made cartons of toddler milk that Cara and Paul gratefully gave me and sit them on the desk ready in preparation for if Yasmin wakes during the night. I change out of my clothes and into a nighty and bag my dirty clothes to wash back at Liam’s flat when we get back.
Turning to face Liam, who has stripped naked and is sitting on the bed sipping his tea watching me, I smile.
“I hope you don’t mind honey. I’m really tired tonight.”
“Not at all. I was just admiring how beautiful you are and how organised you are. You do know you are wonderful, don’t you?”
I wink at him.
“For a man that seems to be ok with me saying I’m tired you’re sure trying to persuade me otherwise, aren’t you!”
“Not at all. Just admiring my wife to be and thinking how lucky I am. If I hadn’t ran away to Ireland the first time I jumped on this ferry I would never have met you and my life would be all the poorer. I love you so much Megan Murphy.”
“I love you too Liam. You don’t mind if I say a few prayers before bed do you? It’s good Friday in just over an hour and I haven’t been to chapel once this entire Holy Week! I don’t think I’ll make mass tomorrow morning but I really do want to get to St. Mary’s at some point tomorrow if that’s ok? Easter weekend is so important to me.”
“Of course. I can look after Yasmin for you to let you go anytime you want. You don’t mind if I lie down and rest while you pray do you?”
“Not at all. I won’t be long, I promise.”
I look in my handbag for my rosary and carry my tea and beads over to the empty side of the double bed as Liam kisses my forehead lightly, finishes his tea and slides under the duvet. I drink my tea and quietly pray through my rosary saying the all too familiar words and thinking of the Christ on the cross and his resurrection and all the huge weight of guilt I need to confess as soon as I can; from leaving home, sex with Liam before marriage, indulging my lust and fetish, taking money from Ella Jude even after she’d died, not attending chapel during Holy Week, and all the sexy thoughts I had about Liam’s best mate Gareth when he picked us up back in Liverpool and he had to pee so bad. Flashbacks to so many of my sins and wrong doings weigh heavy on me and I know that I simply must get to confession over Easter weekend! I finish my prayers and lie under the covers hearing Liam gently snoring and looking around the cabin thanking God silently for keeping me safe in England and getting me back home to Bangor where I belong.
Yasmin wakes us both up before 5 am. I make up her bottle of ready milk but even warming it she’s fussy and wanting her usual cow’s milk instead. Liam holds her while I quickly wash and dress before we all head downstairs to the onboard restaurant and have a very early breakfast. There’s still just under an hour before we land so the queue is small and Liam orders coffee and a roll with sausage and egg while I pick up some milk for Yasmin, fresh orange for myself and some scrambled egg and toast to share with the baby. After breakfast I shower with Yasmin and then dress myself while Liam dresses the baby for me while I dry my hair, which Yasmin hates as usual and poor Liam has an awful time keeping her settled. After we are all ready we head down to the car deck in plenty time to get everything packed back into the small grey vehicle and the baby strapped in. This time, wide awake and keen to be busy, Yasmin isn’t as settled in the back alone and I choose to sit with her, talking to her and playing with her to keep her from crying too much. The tannoy takes her by surprise and she starts crying again so Liam turns the car engine on to warm it up and puts the radio on. This is a genius idea as the music calms Yasmin quickly as we finally reach Ireland as the sun starts to rise.
As the ferry turns and docks at the port we watch from right at the back as the doors lower and first the foot passengers are all taken off followed slowly by the cars. Liam follows closely as our row finally begins to move as we bump over the little ramp and drive onto firm Irish land at last. It’s a slow drive out of the crowded port area as four lanes of vehicles from the ferry have to merge into two as I wind my window down a little in the back to smell the fresh Irish air. Just as I do so I hear a loud voice shouting above all the other voices as I immediately turn my head towards Yasmin and duck.
“Any sign of them? They definitely haven’t passed me. We’re not leaving until the last person is away! They weren’t on this morning’s one so it has to be this one!”
I don’t know if Liam recognises his bosses voice but there’s no mistaking Shaun Murphy’s loud tones as I’m too afraid to say anything to Liam in case it draws any attention to us. The radio is still playing so I stay focussed on Yasmin playing with her feet and keeping my head as low as possible as the car joins the slow line of vehicles exiting the port and making their way to their destination. It’s not until we are on the motorway again that i call to Liam in the front.
“I take it you saw Shaun waiting on the ferry?”
“What did you say honey? I can’t hear you for the radio. Hold on I’ll turn it down.”
As the music softens I repeat myself to Liam.
“Did you see Shaun at the port? He was there waiting on us arriving! Did you not hear him shouting?”
“What? You’re kidding! I never saw him or heard him. Between the radio and Yasmin crying and concentrating on getting out I never saw or heard anything, sorry. Do you think he saw us?”
“I don’t think so. I guess he wouldn’t have expected us travelling by car. I just hope the police didn’t tell him who I was with! He could easily find out your address from the council.”
“Really? I didn’t think they were allowed to give out that sort of info!”
“This is Shaun Murphy Liam. He forces people to do what he wants all the time, remember?”
“I guess so. You still want to go back to mine then? I don’t know where else we can go though.”
“Me neither. Welcome back to Ireland eh! What a welcome home!” |
Chapter 254
Liam
By the time I return to our cabin on the ferry I’m suddenly so tired, though I very much enjoy watching Megan changing into her nighty and organising things for the morning. She’s so beautiful and I can’t help but be so glad that I ran away from Lauren Bennet to go to Ireland. Megan is most definitely the best thing ever in Ireland that’s for sure!
While Megan whispers some prayers I fall into an easy sleep despite the strange bed, but I wake multiple times as usual. I do wonder if little Yasmin had a night similar to me as she wakes confused and unsettled too until we finally get some breakfast. Even after that she’s not her usual bubbly self getting in the car and I’m rather relieved when Megan offers to get in the back with her to try and keep her calmer. It seems to take so long to finally get off the ferry with being right at the rear of the car deck, but finally we disembark and I follow signs for the motorway to Bangor. Thank goodness the radio works as it is works great at keeping Yasmin quiet and keeping me awake as the morning traffic starts to build up already.
I hear Megan speaking but can’t make out what’s she’s saying with the engine noise, radio and the traffic noise too so I turn the radio right down as she mentions something about Shaun Murphy being at the port. I’m nowhere near as shocked as I should be, but I am a little scared. From memory Megan told her dad, and then Shaun on the phone, that she was coming back later in the week. The only ones we told what exact ferry we’d be on were Gareth, who I know wouldn’t even know who Megan’s family were never mind tell them, Paul and Cara, who again have no idea who Megan’s brother is, and finally the police who I showed my online booking to when they came to check on Yasmin. Have they passed on the details to Shaun? Are they even allowed to do that? My mind is working overtime, so much so that I almost miss the slip turnoff for Bangor and have to indicate late, much to the annoyance of the vehicle behind me.
Driving closer to the town centre I have this sudden thought as I stop at a red traffic light and look at Megan in my mirror.
“I’ve just remembered, honey, that there’s nothing in my flat. Like food, milk and stuff. I’m skint too. Do you want to go to the flat or what?”
“Hold on a minute. I’ll see what cash I have left. I know it’s not much though.”
“So just head to the flat?”
“Lidl isn’t far from you is it? If nothing else I need to get some basics for Yasmin. If you head for there.”
“No problem.”
I carry on driving getting more than a little anxious about how we can possibly live with so little money between us. Megan has no more income now until the McGintley’s return in over a week, and even then it’ll probably be the end of the week before they pay her, and although I’m due my next wage in about a week I have spent all the money from Flavius ages ago and my rent, loan repayment and credit card payments will swallow most of my wages before I even see it.. How do we possibly live until then?
I pull into the small Lidl car park and turn the engine off. It’s not raining but it’s still pretty cold as I turn to Megan and see her pulling her coat on in the back.
“Have you got any money?”
“Not much but I’ll pop in and see what I can get. So is there nothing at all at yours? No sugar, or pasta, or rice or anything?”
“I think there’s sugar, possibly a half bag of rice and some spaghetti. That’s all I can think of sorry. I was relying on the food bank mainly.”
“I know you probably don’t want to Liam, but I’m worried, especially having Yasmin now. Do you think the food bank might help us out, just until we both get paid again? I can miss some meals but I need to feed Yasmin. I have only got just over £8 here and even in Lidl that won’t get us much, not for three of us. You have got tea bags and coffee haven’t you?”
“Yes there should be both of them. I don’t know about the food bank though. I had to get a referral thing from that guy at the council, Mr. McGintley.”
Megan has opened the back door and is stepping out as I press to lower the front windows to hear her reply.
“I’ll get what I can. See you in a bit.”
I talk away to Yasmin, assuming she’s awake but unable to see her as her seat faces the rear of the car. Being back here reminds me just how hard it was for me living alone with just the absolute basics and having to even get a loan to even pay my rent. Now I have the added responsibility of a partner and child as the feelings of failure taunt me and I genuinely wonder how we’ll manage.
It’s not too long before Megan returns with a bag full of things as she climbs back into the car and I drive the short distance to my flat. Standing on the top doorstep holding the car seat I go to hand it to Megan behind me as I smile at her.
“I remember you making this step very wet once, don’t you?”
She nods and smiles but with the car seat in one hand and the bag of food in the other I can tell she’s just keen to get in. I bend down as I push the solid door open as I pick up a few items of mail before turning to take the baby back off Megan and hold the door open for her. The flat seems cold, impersonal and tiny compared to the beautiful homely house back in Chester as Megan walks right past me straight to the kitchen with the bag of food. I put the car seat in the small living room and lift Yasmin out as she’s already fussing. Looking into the compact kitchen I watch as Megan puts what little shopping she bought away.
“This is all I could get. The cheapest bread they had, milk, beans, eggs, some reduced chicken and a cheap tin of sauce, yoghurts and some porridge. I think I have a couple of baby jars in the changing bag but this is it. We’ll be lucky if this lasts the rest of the day. Thankfully there was a stand near the door that said to help yourself so I managed to get two loose bananas, and two baking potatoes too. On the plus side there’s tea bags and coffee here like you said so I can at least put the kettle on. Here would you like me to take Yasmin? She’s probably needing changed actually.”
I hand the baby to her sister and take over making tea and coffee. When I’m finished making them I did in the cupboards to see if there’s any biscuits but all I can find is Asda’s own brand crackers given to me by the food bank so I take them in anyway.
“Sorry honey. It was all I could find.”
Megan returns to the kitchen with a nappy leaving Yasmin lying on my living room floor. Compared to the lovely flat she was in last night and my aunt’s house I suddenly feel so ashamed of my tiny flat as I’m tempted to return right back to Chester as soon as possible. This is no place for a baby to grow up! The steep front stairs, the lack of space, the lack of garden to play in and not even a cot here for her to sleep in! It’s a far cry from Paul and Cara’s nursery, from their child friendly living room, from my aunt’s lovely house where Yasmin could have her own room if we wanted. I watch as Yasmin rolls over, trying several times before achieving it successfully as tiredness, grief and inadequacy overwhelm me as tears sting at my eyes.
I look up at Megan and try to smile.
“This place feels even smaller than I remember it now.”
“I know. But we’ll manage somehow Liam. I promise.”
Her body beside me, her arm around me and the gentleness of her kiss on my cheek comfort me but the reality hasn’t changed: we have a baby who needs us, whose parents want to put her into care because her mum is too ill to care for her and her dad has no time for her, we have no money to feed us all or even put petrol in the car, there’s bills that have arrived that I know I can’t pay and the baby’s older brother is threatening to take the child from us. I slip my arm around Megan and hold her close.
I can go without food but there’s absolutely no way ever I’m letting go of my Megan and Yasmin no matter what. |
Chapter 255
Megan
Us Murphy’s have never had much money even though dad devotes all his life to working. I guess the sheer amount of mouths to feed and bodies to clothe eat up his salary like a crocodile eats a fish; it seems like a lot but in reality it isn’t. But even by Murphy standards this is tough counting the cost as I go along in Lidl, not even daring to pick up a basket since I already know my money won’t get me much. I prioritise Yasmin getting milk, yoghurts and porridge then look for any cheap meat and sauce I can use to make for dinner, praying Liam is right and there’s at least rice or pasta in the flat as I can’t even afford potatoes. I notice a dented tin of beans that’s been reduced and mentally calculate if I can afford it. Thankfully I can and I turn towards the checkout spotting eggs too. If I go easy on the milk I could make some scrambled egg for Yasmin too…though I have to hope there’s butter in the flat as that’s way more than my measly funds can stretch to. Standing behind a smartly dressed woman with her full trolley and a little child by her side I can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy even though it’s so anti-Catholic. A full trolley of groceries is exactly what Liam and I need as I pray to Saint Matthew, the patron saint of finances, for supernatural provision and a stretching of what little I have in my hands just like when Jesus fed the 5000.
My maths teacher once told me never to get a job involving money or maths as I was ‘utterly useless at maths’ in her words. I wasn’t good at much at school at all to be honest ,but given the reality of having to buy things on a tight budget necessity has taught me well. Despite being tired and stressed I can’t help but feel proud of myself when the cashier tells me the total and it’s exactly what I thought it would be! Between Liam and myself we now have the grand total of 13 pence to our names. Splendid. There’s desperation and then there’s desperation! As I place everything into the carrier bag, which used up even more of my money again, I am just putting the tiny amount of change in my purse when the cashier smiles at me and points to a stand by the bag packing tables at the back.
“Help yourself. That stuff is all free if it’s any use.”
Boy Saint Matthew is quick at answering this morning! Must be because it’s Easter weekend or something. I help myself to a couple of baking potatoes and a couple of loose bananas which will be great for Yasmin. Despite the meagre contents the bag is surprisingly heavy due to the milk so even though it’s not far to the flat I’m very grateful for the car. I can't help but notice the tank is still saying it’s three quarters full too as I pray a silent thanks to Ella Jude and her organisation skills. At least we shouldn’t run out of petrol any day soon. That’s something at least.
My mind is a million miles away as Liam makes a comment on the front step about me once making it wet. I have to stop and think what he’s even talking about as I am so consumed with trying to meal plan and work out how I will get nappies for Yasmin when she inevitably runs out soon. There’s only what’s in my handbag and changing bag and that’s all we have left.
In the flat I go straight to put the food away as I eagerly but nervously open the kitchen cupboards hoping there’s some other non perishable items or basics like sugar, tea bags, coffee, rice and pasta. I am delighted to even find a tin of cream of chicken soup and a cheap tin of custard. Every little things helps right now that’s for sure. I turn to Liam and offer to take Yasmin as she still hasn’t settled properly all day and I wonder if she needs changed. I daren’t mention how few nappies or wipes we have left as I lie her down and sort her and find my thoughts were correct. After she’s all cleaned up and left on the floor my heart delights to hear her finally making her lovely happy noises that fill my heart with love.
Returning to sit beside Liam and drink the mug of tea he’s made me I can’t help but notice he’s welling up and emotional.
“This place feels even smaller than I remember it now.”
“I know. But we’ll manage somehow Liam. I promise.”
I have to have faith. If ever I need my faith in God it’s now.
As we watch Yasmin rolling and pulling herself up to try and crawl I run my finger over Liam’s damp cheek and rub away a stray tear.
“It’s not always about where you are Liam. What matters even more is who you are with. There was one time during Holy Week when Jesus was with his disciples sharing a last meal before he was crucified. There was plenty food and wine and laughter and you’d have thought that was the perfect place to be. But you know what? There was someone at that meal who had cheated on .Jesus, who had betrayed him for money, who had turned away from someone who he called a friend. So while it seemed the right place what with all the abundance in actual fact the company with Jesus made it all wrong. We might not have much right now Liam but we have each other, we have Yasmin, and that is what is most important of all.”
I’m quite annoyed that before I get to finish my little speech my mobile rings and rudely interrupts me. Thinking it might be Paul or Cara phoning to see if we’ve arrived back ok I automatically answer it but suddenly pull the phone away from my ear when I realise who it is.
“Megan! Megan! Talk to me! I know you are back in Ireland and I will find you. For goodness sake do the right thing and bring your sister home. This isn’t helping anyone, especially mam. You’ve had your fun and games but enough is enough. The police have been informed and we will find you. If you don’t want to be arrested for kidnap then just bring the baby home right now. She’s not yours and she never will be. We’ll be waiting for you.” |
Chapter 256
Liam
After my coffee I head out to the car and begin the laborious task of bringing everything in. Megan sorts it all out, organising bags into different rooms and putting dirty washing into the washing machine. She suggests I leave the buggy in the car and take the car seat back out too as the flat is so small. Meanwhile Yasmin is loving crawling around everywhere, though poor Megan is having to keep a close eye on her as my flat definitely isn’t fully baby proof! By 11am Yasmin is getting whiny and Megan makes her a small bowl of porridge and some cooled boiled water to drink. I stop and help her feed the baby, sitting her on my knee but having to cuddle her in as she’s so tired from the early rise and the disrupted night. She barely manages to finish her food when she’s nodding off and Megan asks me to lie her on my bed. I place her carefully in the centre of the double bed then continue sorting through everything we brought back, putting clean clothes away, hanging the picture of the child my aunt supported through the mission organisation on the living room wall and putting paperwork safely away in a drawer out of the baby’s reach.
I’m starting to get hungry myself as I find Megan in the living room with the contents of the baby change bag turned out as I look down at her smiling.
“I was just thinking that I’m hungry. Would you like something?”
As she turns to reply to me I notice she’s pale and stressed looking.
“You lost something?”
“There’s only three nappies left. Three! What do we do after that? Maybe I should just do as Shaun said and take Yasmin back? I keep praying, Liam, but prayers won’t cover my sister’s dignity will they?”
I shrug, not knowing what to say. I care, I care a hell of a lot, but I can’t change the fact we have no money. I already feel inadequate. It was Megan who told me to stay calm and now she’s the one stressing! I look down at her wishing I knew how to fix this and wondering if I should swallow my pride and see if Gareth can help. I owe him so much already but the baby can’t go without nappies, even I know that.
“How about I make lunch and then I call Gareth. It’s not much for nappies is it? If he leant us maybe £20 that would get some wouldn’t it? It’s not for us and I’m sure he’d understand. He’s got kids himself.”
“Are you still ok for me to go to chapel? If I have some quick beans on toast I could head down shortly. Mass finishes around 12 so I could slip into confession after that. Yasmin will sleep at least an hour, maybe longer as we woke so early. She’ll want some milk when she wakes but otherwise she should be fine. I’ll just finish sorting all this out then I’ll come help you.”
“I think I can manage beans and toast ok, and of course you can go to chapel honey. I said earlier didn’t I? Yasmin and I will be fine here. In fact we’ll have fun just the two of us. I haven’t forgotten it’s Good Friday.”
“Not that good though is it?”
“It’s only 11:15am sweetheart. Give it time.”
In the kitchen I really struggle to open the dented tin of beans as the tin opener won’t go past the dents in the lid. I finally have to pull what little I have managed to open up with a knife as I pour the beans into a pot and turn on the ring on the oven. Once they start warming I put bread in the toaster and breath a sigh of relief that there’s a little butter still in the fridge from before I left for England. It’s a far cry from the sort of lunches I had in expensive restaurants with Lauren Bennet ,or even the fresh sandwiches and soups my aunt would make at the weekends for me, but it satisfies my hunger for which I am very grateful indeed.
Megan freshens herself up after lunch before putting on her coat and heading down to St. Mary’s chapel with her Bible and beads in her handbag. I wish I didn’t have to stay in the flat with the baby as I’d feel far happier walking her there and back to know she’s safe. She assures me several times that her family won’t be there as they will be home eating lunch after Good Friday mass. Still the chapel is too close to the Murphy residence for my liking and I won’t settle until she’s back safely in my flat. I text her twice on the way there and thankfully she replies immediately with her final one stating she’s just arrived.
Alone with the sleeping child I’m not sure what to do with myself. I don’t want to watch TV incase I don’t hear the baby waking, nor do I feel I can hoover, as that would most definitely wake her, so I wash up the dishes then go into my room and sit on my bed just watching Yasmin. Looking around the small room I try to image where a cot could go even if we could afford one but with the stand alone wardrobe, the chest of drawers, and the door, there just doesn’t seem to be enough room at all regardless how I rearrange things in my mind. The flat looked so much bigger online than in reality. I slide off the bed and wander to the even smaller single bedroom that’s barely big enough for a single bed even! All it has in is a small chest of narrow drawers and a futon as I see Joshua’s beautiful room from yesterday in my mind and sigh.
I want to show Megan that I’m serious about looking after her and Yasmin, I’m serious about being with her and raising the baby as my own, but this flat just doesn’t have what I feel I need now. It’s a single person bachelor flat not a home for a young family. I slip my hand into my pocket as I lean against the hall wall facing my bedroom feeling two sets of keys with my hand. I know one is for the flat I’m in but the other set is for my aunt’s house in Chester, a house much more fitting to raise Yasmin in.
The question is do I sell it and look for somewhere here in Bangor or should I just suggest to Megan we move back where we can get closer to Paul and Cara and Yasmin can grow up with their son?
That all, of course, depends on someone else though. Megan may not have mentioned the call from her brother but I heard every word and with how things are financially right now my immediate concern is that Megan will buckle and return Yasmin to her parents where they’ll put her into care and we’ll never see her again.
I have to step back into the bedroom. I have to look at the baby sleeping some more. I can’t believe it’s only been a week since Megan left home to live with me because I adore Yasmin like she’s always been mine already. I’d do absolutely anything for this child and right now that means calling Gareth to see if I can somehow get some money for nappies for her. |
Chapter 257
Megan
Liam hasn’t asked who called so I don’t mention it and just carry on, but it throws me off kilter way more than I want to admit to myself. Trying to refocus I tip out the changing bag to organise it better, see if there’s any food there for Yasmin and count the nappies. Why was I so selfish to put one in my knickers as we waited to board the ferry? I have control of my bladder and bowels but Yasmin doesn’t! That’ll be another thing added to my long list of things I desperately need to confess!
Liam is so sweet agreeing to look after Yasmin to allow me to go to chapel. I promise him several times that no-one in my family will be there. I know them and I’m the only one who regularly goes to confession, other than dad whenever mam gets really ill. Dad likes to be noticed at mass, though I can only imagine his embarrassment and anger at me not being there with the family yet again this week. Shaun and Lilly will have been there, even Aisling and Harrison, and the entire congregation will know that the twins are away at university. Theresa will no doubt have mentioned to a number of people that she was moving and Anthony and Rory are too young to choose still. But the horror of admitting what I’ve done and where Yasmin is will have upset and angered dad so much. I dread to think what has been said behind my back. Walking the long walk to Saint Mary’s I choose not to walk through the estate as even the thought of walking past the family home is too much, though I miss Rory and Anthony so much! Liam texts twice and I reassure him all is well as I walk along the high street with it’s closed shops due to it being Good Friday and head down Belfast Road towards the oh so familiar chapel.
Standing by the open gate I look in at the empty car park thinking back to coming as a child for christenings, first communions, weddings and mass. I remember my own first communion and how proud my parents were and how much mam had it all organised. I thought that day that so much would change, believing that now I was mature enough to take the elements that mam would suddenly get better and no longer see me as the child who made her sick. She was so happy that day, excited to be pregnant with Anthony and with the older ones all at high school and me about to join them I was sure things would get better. Dad was full of promises that he’d be around more to help with this baby and Aisling and Niamh would both help too, but like everything else in my life, even on my big day it all went wrong.
I stare at one of the bushes in the church cemetery and sigh remembering how I had this beautiful white dress on with this cute white cardigan and how I had these tights and high heeled shoes. I was only 11 and my nerves were really affecting me. I couldn’t help it but dad was disgusted at me telling me I ruined the service with my wriggling on the pew. Even when I told him it was because I had to pee he took me outside to ‘talk to me’ before the party in the back hall. I still had to pee so bad and with those stupid high heeled shoes on I was wobbling all over the grass when dad told me to come away from the chapel so we could talk in private. I was bursting for the toilet and moving from foot to foot in my immaculate dress listening to my dad going on about how disrespectful I was and how I was disgracing the family when I lost my footing, fell backwards onto the bush and ripped my dress! Mam never forgave me for that, ever! She found me in the toilets crying and shouted at me in front of everyone making me show off the rip to the whole crowd of family and friends.
The doors of the welcoming chapel are open and I know I need to go in as I shiver a little with nerves. This is my second home, the place where I come to gain peace, my sanctuary from home life. But I’ve not been living up to my faith recently, falling into sin and letting myself, the chapel, Father Reilly, and more importantly, God down. Where do I even begin confessing it all? Remembering that Liam has Yasmin I push myself to walk through the car park and up the huge steps towards the open doors. There’s no organ playing, no chatter of others like at mass, just a holy silence and awe luring me towards the place like a magnet.
I step in and breath out. I made it! The spring sun shines through the stain glass window sending a beam of light across the pews and lighting up the crucifixion on the wall as if there’s an angelic glow. I walk past the Holy Water stand, splash myself, curtsy and cross myself before heading towards the tea light candles and lighting one for Ella Jude. I then slide into a cold pew, bow my head and begin praying. There’s no sign of a priest so I need to wait to enter the confession booth for now. That’s probably for the best anyway as I need to read my Bible and pray first to get focussed.
I have no idea how long I have been praying when I hear footsteps and jump.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you there. Do carry on.”
The voice is so gentle, so familiar, so warm, as I immediately stand up and turn.
“Father Reilly! It’s so good to see you again!”
“Likewise Miss Murphy, likewise. I’ve been looking for you all week. It’s good to see you back.”
“I’ve been in England Father.”
“So I heard. So how is the little one doing? I have been praying for her that saint Christopher would carry her on his back like he did the Christ child and keep you travellers safe.”
“Thank you Father. She’s doing great. She’s with Liam just now.”
I notice Father Reilly looking like he’s waiting for me to say more.
“Can I talk to you Father?”
“Of course you can Miss Murphy. How about you come next door and I’ll make us both a cuppa?”
“In the hall?”
Father Reilly smiles at me, that calm, reassuring smile that immediately brings peace to my heart.
“I was more thinking the parochial house? Between this morning’s mass and then some urgent business I had to see to there I haven’t had a minute all day. What do you prefer Miss Murphy, tea or coffee?”
Suddenly I have this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if this is a trap? What if Father Reilly has already, or is about to, call the police? He’s already said he knew I was in England and Shaun was at the ferry port this morning looking for me. I really need to talk to the priest so much. I need to confess my sins, I need to ask if he can help Liam and myself just with nappies and food for the baby, only until we get paid. But can I risk it? Would he really assist Shaun in trapping me? I look at Father Reilly in the eye trying to work out his intentions, the man who married my brother and sister, who took my gran and my aunt and my uncle’s funerals, who gave Liam money and a suit to go to England for a funeral, who I have spent hours of my life with confessing my soul to in confession. Would a man of God like him really deceive me? |
Chapter 258
Liam
When Yasmin finally wakes I pick her up and take her to the living room. At first we just cuddle and watch some TV while she has some milk but soon she’s eager to get exploring again and I allow her to crawl around as she tries pulling herself up to stand using anything she can find. I get down on my own hands and knees and play at chasing her in the hallway which makes her giggle so much. I then find a pair of clean socks and roll them into a ball and roll them to her helping her catch and roll them again with my hands over hers. I don’t really know what I’m doing but the baby seems happy and I am too. There’s probably multiple other more constructive things I should be doing but playing with Yasmin somehow right now feels more important than ever. While she may have been with me every day since she arrived with her sister last Thursday night she’s just been tagging along in whatever we’ve done and neither Megan nor myself have really given her the time and attention she deserves.
When she gets bored of the sock rolling and starts crawling towards the bathroom I pick her up and take her back to the safety of the main room. Looking around for toys I can’t see any so I sit the baby on my knee and chat away to her asking if she knows any good nursery rhymes. Of course she just sort of smiles at me so I decide to google and we then become engrossed in a wonderful time of me singing along and her watching on my phone as I play different nursery rhymes and attempt to sing along. Yasmin is such an easy audience it has to be said as she giggles, strokes me face and pulls at my hair. I guide her hands to show her how to clap and the noise makes her smile this beautiful big toothy smile as for the first time I actually notice she has 6 teeth! How have I never noticed this before? Counting her teeth for her leads me to googling number songs and my phone beeps with a text rather rudely as I’m singing away to 10 green bottles and wondering why toddlers have a song about knocking bottles off a wall! Between knocking bottles down, spiders climbing up water spouts, some poor man breaking into bits falling off a wall and obscenely noisy buses I’m suddenly appreciating much more why toddlers cry so often!
I read the text out to Yasmin like she’s an adult then smile at her and talk away to her.
“You remember Matilda, Gareth’s wife don’t you sweetheart? They have two children you know. Both older than you. Uncle Liam is just trying to see if they will help him. We need to get you some more nappies you see. They cost money. One day you’ll know what that is, won’t you? We use it to buy things and your sister and I, well right now we haven’t got much, but I don’t want you to be worrying about that now. You’re way too young to worry about that my darling. Uncle Liam will sort that for you, and your sister, of course. She’s amazing your sister isn’t she? I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I want to watch you learn lots of things and grow up and go to school. You are going to be so spoiled when we get my aunt’s money. What did you like at Joshua’s house then? You want one of those cars, the broom broom one you sat in? Oh you deserve one of those you do. A big pink one I think. Maybe one with a little hooter in the middle of the steering wheel eh? Beep beep.”
I press the little girl’s nose while I make he horn sound much to her amusement. I don’t know anything about her syndrome or stuff like that, and I’ve still not mastered the dressing bit, especially those crazy pop up all in one thingies Megan puts her in at night, but the brushing hair, bathing, feeding and playing is all coming to me way easier than I ever imagined it would. I’ve only really known the child a week properly but already I can’t imagine living without her. I just can’t get my head around her own parents actually wanting to give her up, give her away, knowing they won’t see her again.
I kiss Yasmin’s forehead and carry her into the kitchen while I get a drink and look to see if there’s anything for a snack for her. There’s so little in the way of food and I sigh feeling so fed up at the lack of choice, not for me but for Yasmin. In the end I put a piece of bread in the toaster and then cut it into soldiers like I remember my own mum doing for me when I was young. It’s cheap bread and butter I was given by the food bank but to see Yasmin’s delighted face when I give it to her is so humbling and heartwarming. Sitting her on my knee at the kitchen table while she squashes the food, drools, and drops bits makes me realise why Megan wants a high chair for her as I hear my phone ring again and carry the baby through to the living room assuming it might be Megan.
Balancing the baby in my arms and trying to put the mobile to my ear one handed is quite tricky and the voice on the other end is quiet, sad sounding and very distant. I ask them to speak up please and the female voice does so after a pause.
“Is that Liam?”
“Yes, this is Liam. Who is this?”
“It’s Leah Santos. I thought I should call you to let you know we’re at the hospital. There hasn’t been a donor match and the dialysis is failing fast. They don’t expect mum to last much longer.”
“Oh.”
“I know there’s nothing you can do but I just.., well I just thought you should know.”
“It’s not even a week since her sister’s funeral! I didn’t realise she was…that ill.”
“She’s deteriorated quickly this week. I should have called you earlier. I think she’d have wanted to see you one last time. She’s said your name a few times.”
I look at the baby in my arms and pause trying desperately to think what to say.
“Could you tell her something for me Leah please? Tell her I love her and that I am getting married and I will soon have a step daughter too. She won’t get to meet them but I’d like her to know about them all the same. I’m really sorry Leah. I really am.”
“I just thought you should know. Bye Liam.”
I put the phone down on the coffee table and turn to Yasmin who has decided to rub squashed toast all over my hair.
“That was…that was Uncle Liam’s sister. Don’t ask me what she looks like though ok? I’ve actually never met her but that’s another story. Apparently your step gran, I think that’s what she’d be I guess, well she’s going to join her sister in heaven soon…I guess. It’s all rather complicated and sad but right now I think I can feel something sticky in my hair. You wouldn’t know anything about that now young Yasmin Murphy, would you?”
She doesn’t answer that question either. I’m going to have to work on her conversation skills a bit more I think. I hug her tight and wipe at my hair. It’s only toast and she’s only a baby…my baby..,my soon to be step daughter.
See mum I did do something right in life. I’m finally getting it together at last. I just wish you were here to see it. |
Chapter 259
Megan
I really want to text Liam as I walk out the chapel behind the priest, who is wearing suit trousers and a plain shirt without even a tie, across the short distance to the parochial house, but somehow it just feels rude regardless how nervous I am. Father Reilly turns and smiles at me but my stomach is in knots as I anxiously look all around for any sign of the police.
He unlocks the old door and pushes it open as I step in and stand in the small welcome area I’ve been to before with the small table and the door to the main room to the right.
“Head on in Miss Murphy. What was it you said you preferred, tea or coffee?”
“Would a glass of water be ok?”
“Of course. Have a seat. I’ll be with you shortly.”
I sit down in one of the large arm chairs facing a coffee table with an open Bible and a vase of fresh flowers. The room is warm and welcoming though traditional in so many ways. Father Reilly returns with a glass of iced water and places it on the coffee table on a coaster with nature pictures on. I take a sip as I wait anxiously for him to return from his kitchen.
“I hope you don’t mind Miss Murphy. As lovely as the church is I thought this would be more…personal. You know some days I am stuck in that confession booth for hours. I’ve joked to myself many a time that I should have a coffee maker in there.”
As he sits down with his steaming frothy coffee I smile at the thought of him sipping coffee while someone confesses their inner struggles.
“Please don’t misunderstand me Miss Murphy. I care deeply for my parishioners and take my spiritual responsibilities seriously but, as I say, I can find myself in the booth for so long some days I start to think the sins of the entire population of Bangor are multiplying or something.”
“You’d have needed that coffee if you were in with me today then for sure.”
“Things that bad then my dear?”
“I have let you down so badly Father. I feel so ashamed of myself. I do read my Bible, I promise, and I’m saying my prayers. I did the full rosary last night before bed too and I am trying my best to be kind and loving and bring peace. But oh Father, I am a wretch of a human and I feel so unworthy right now. I know God is a forgiving and loving God but I think I might have gone even beyond his realms of forgiveness and love I’m afraid.”
“That’s for God alone to decide Miss Murphy. Now why don’t you start at the beginning and tell me everything then we can see where we go from there.”
I know I have already confessed so much to Father in confession before but my heart is heavy and my mind a whirl so I decide to start right back at the beginning explaining how I ended up at the launderette washing dad’s, mam’s, Theresa’s, Anthony’s, Rory’s and Yasmin and my own clothes because the washing machine broke and the part hadn’t arrived yet for dad to fix it. With my head bowed and avoiding eye contact with my priest I share how angry and upset I was that day because once again mam had shouted at me for not doing enough and blaming me because her favourite top wasn’t clean. I sip my water and open up about how guilty I felt leaving Yasmin with mam knowing how she was but how glad I was to get some time alone. Father Reilly remains quiet as I carry on talking.
“I bought a can of cola to pass the time. There was no one else there and I didn’t want to go home, not without the clean washing. Even with the huge machines it was two full loads. Everything would have been ok if Liam hadn’t came in.”
“Is Liam a friend then?”
“No Father. I didn’t even know him that day. He was a complete stranger. He wasn’t from around here either. He had no idea how to use the machines. I did show him Father, honestly.”
“So how was meeting him a problem then?”
I put my half empty glass on the table as I finally look up to face my priest, the man who has spiritually guided me all my life and knows everyone in my family.
“Because I fancied him Father. And because of what was going on with me at the time too.”
“Go on dear. You know it’s not a sin to find something, or someone, to be pleasurable to the eye. God made us all human and he understands temptation. You’ve heard me preach on that many times over the years.”
“Yes Father. I know. I would have been able to resist if it hadn’t been for the fact…oh Father I am so ashamed about this. It seems so…silly…now I am talking to you but at the time it was such a huge issue. I was so…”
“Be assured I am not here to judge you Miss Murphy. If you don’t want to tell me that’s ok. You can tell God privately. However, experience has told me that sharing opening our sins and struggles really does make a difference. That’s why confession is so necessary. It cleanses the soul.”
“Ok. But you won’t ever tell anyone will you? Promise? It’s just…well this is so personal but it’s causing me so much stress and guilt. I didn’t just drink one can of cola that day Father. I stupidly had a second one and even before Liam arrived with his washing I was really needing the toilet. There wasn’t one there though Father and I couldn’t leave the washing or go home until it was all dry so I was stuck you see.”
“I understand.”
“The thing is Father, this is so embarrassing, but seeing this man I thought was very good looking and really needing the bathroom, it’s just that…oh Father please don’t think I’m disgusting or anything but needing to pee so badly just makes me feel…kinda good. It makes me feel all warm inside and lovely and tingly and…it arouses me a lot.”
“Oh.”
“I tried so hard Father. Honestly I did. The washing was taking forever though and the man was close to me at times and watching me and his eyes…his eyes…that’s who Yasmin is with now Father. I know I shouldn’t have but I love him so much and it all started by me being so sinful that day.”
“So you met someone you liked, you got a bit…aroused..and you are now with this man? Is that right?”
“Yes Father. Nothing happened in the launderette though. Well other than me disgracing myself. I already confessed that to you before Father. I never thought I’d see Liam ever again. I didn’t even know his name back then. But then we met again, by total accident, at the library. Then he was picking up litter the day of my brother’s first communion. I’m sorry to say that we kissed that day Father. I know I shouldn’t have and I confess my sin fully. Then I was in chapel praying one day and when I left I heard a voice. I found him outside at the side of the chapel after he’d had a panic attack. I didn’t leave him though Father. I took him to get a hot drink and made sure he was ok before I went to an appointment. He’s been to chapel a few times Father. In fact you have met him. His aunt passed away and I’m just back from England with him for her funeral. She was more like his mam really. His own mam left him when he was just 14. I took Yasmin with me too.”
“Ah yes. I believe I have met Liam. He told me about his aunt. Awful situation for anyone. Grief is such a difficult journey to walk through.one that really needs the love and support of others around you too. Not a journey that you can travel well alone. And yes I was aware about you taking Yasmin. Your brother Shaun called me and had a lot to say about that. I’m keen to hear your side of the story though Miss Murphy.”
“Please Father, call me Megan. I’d like that.”
“Thank you. Now I know about Mrs Murphy being in hospital. I was praying fervently for her. A very difficult and trying time for you all I understand.”
“Yes Father. I believe mam is home now. She got out before I left for England. That’s why I took the child, Father.”
I pause to finish my water and wipe some tears from my eyes.
“Mam is very unwell.Did Shaun tell you that? I’m sure he didn’t. She tried to kill herself. That’s why she was in hospital. She’s so unwell Father that she can’t properly look after Yasmin, or the boys. Even the hospital agree. They only let her home on the condition she wasn’t to have any caring responsibility for anyone. She can’t even look after herself let alone a child. It’s all my fault though Father. I made her ill. She never wanted me and got bad post natal depression after me. She’s never got better. I’ve cared for Yasmin ever since she was born. I promise you I have. I adore that baby. Dad hardly knows her. He’s always working. Shaun is married, so is Aisling now. Iain and Niamh are in Belfast at university, Theresa was working full time and it was me doing everything for Anthony and Rory and Yasmin. Even when I got a part time job I felt terrible leaving my siblings with dad and mam. Mam never got out of bed some days and dad has no idea about looking after a baby. I didn’t kidnap her. Honest father. I ran away to live with Liam because I had to. Mam and dad are putting Yasmin into care! I couldn’t let that happen!”
“Oh. I wish I had known Megan. I wish I had known. This changes everything. It really does.” |
Chapter 260
Liam
Taking the baby into the bathroom with me I somehow manage to wipe my hair clean and wash my hands. The sun is streaming in through the window and I can’t help wondering how Megan is getting on and when she might be back. As Yasmin pokes a finger in my ear I wash her hands too, much to her displeasure, and return to the living room to check my phone. There’s nothing from Megan at all so I have to assume all is fine as the baby pulls to get back down to crawl. She heads straight for the kitchen as I have to run after her to pick her up.
“How about we go for a walk in the fresh air little missy? Maybe there’s a park or I could take you to the sea front? I know…how about we walk towards Saint Mary’s chapel and maybe we can meet Megan and walk back together. How does that sound?”
Of course there’s no reply but she’s happy enough to get her coat on and be carried outside as I lock the front door, go down the stairs to the car and then pause. How do I get the buggy out the boot and unfolded whilst still holding Yasmin? Megan always makes all this look so easy! Eventually I realise the only safe thing to do is to strap the baby into her car seat. Open the boot and put he buggy up then transfer her into the buggy. Finally we are ready to walk as I struggle to get the buggy to move and realise the brakes are still on! Duh!
With the child facing away from me I feel silly talking to her so I walk in silence re familiarising myself with the area having just been away. We walk past the high street, with so many shops all closed for the holiday weekend and on the spur of the moment I decide to veer slightly off track and take Yasmin to see the water fountain outside the council offices. It looks so beautiful in the spring sun as I bend down to get closer to Yasmin and see her face as she gazes at the clear water in wonder. I take a moment to text Megan so she knows where we are but once again there’s still no reply as I get a little more anxious. How long does confession even last? Is there a time limit on how long you sit there? Have one of her family turned up or seen her when she came out?
“How about we go see if we can find your sister now eh?”
Yasmin is quiet as I steer the buggy back past the shops and towards Belfast Road and the Bloomfield estate. Does Yasmin even know where she is now? Megan said she went to chapel every week with them as I cross Belfast Road and walk in the direction of the shore line and Saint Mary’s chapel. I can see the large church building in the distance with its gated car park, old cemetery and the small house by its side. I’m constantly looking both sides of the road for any sign of Megan but although there’s plenty of people around on this Friday afternoon there’s no sign of Megan anywhere. Have we missed each other? Is she ok? Her silence worries me so much.
Crossing the entrance to the car park I push the buggy through the empty space and towards the large imposing old building with its old doors wide open. The last time I was here I was so distraught, so empty, so lost, as I sat alone crying mourning my aunt’s tragic loss and feeling my life was in ruins. It seems impossible to believe that was only around a week ago as I reach the long steps with its small side ramp and push the buggy to go inside. Will Megan mind that I’ve came down? Will she feel I’m infringing on her time of confession? Where will she even be? I slowly and nervously push the buggy through the side door and into the main hall with its water stand, old pews, prayer mats, hymn books and the large crucifixion on the wall facing me. I feel like I should be doing something, bowing, doing something with my hands on my chest like I’ve seen Megan do, praying, or even lighting a candle. Instead I stand there frozen to the spot like a deer caught in headlights as I take in the silence, the coldness, the emptiness of my surroundings. If there’s anyone in here they must be a ghost or something as you could hear a feather fall it’s so eerily quiet.
I try turning the buggy to get out as quickly as I can but the tightness of the pews and the narrowness of the aisle prevent me turning full circle as I debate in my head how to get out. It doesn’t seem appropriate to walk right down the aisle and across the plush carpet at the front and down the other aisle as I now wonder if I should even have brought the buggy this far in in the first place! Looking up at the crucifixion I mouth a silent sorry and back up tentatively until I am finally back in the open foyer as I quickly turn the buggy and go back down the ramp, my heart beating so fast and my mouth dry with anxiety as I walk down the side of the church where I saw Megan once with another buggy pacing up and down at her brother’s first communion. I blink as those amazing images fill my mind as I see Megan with her hair tied up, her fitted dress clinging to her body and her hand embarrassingly between her legs. It was clear even back then that she was utterly desperate for the toilet and the memory makes me rock hard as I wonder what to do now.
Looking around at the old headstones, the empty car park, the silent chapel I feel uneasy, even a little scared, like something awful is just about to happen.
Do I just walk home and assume I’ve missed Megan? Do I head for her family home to check she’s not there? Or do I maybe even knock the priest’s door and ask if he’s seen her? I bend down again to check on Yasmin who is happily playing with her own feet and making happy noises to herself.
“I wonder where Megan is then? I hope she’s ok? Maybe I’ll text her one more time eh?” |
Chapter 261
Megan
Father Reilly looks uncomfortable in his arm chair, not quite sitting still and not giving me full eye contact.
“Dad always told us never to talk about family matters outside the home. He’ll kill me if he ever hears I have spoken to you Father.”
“I should have known all this Miss Murphy. I sensed something was up and had my own suspicions but I felt all I could do was pray, that is until someone disclosed things like you have today. You know I always prefer things to be done the right way, God’s way, the Catholic way. I brought you in here rather than have formal confession because confession is by nature anonymous. We both know, of course, that if someone does mention their name while in confession that I have a duty to keep things confidential and unless anything is expressly putting anyone in danger then the matter never ever goes any further.
But this afternoon as I saw you in chapel I had this sudden memory of Mrs Murphy, just a matter of weeks ago in fact, in the rear hall after a very important first communion mass, one which, in fact, included her second youngest son Anthony, where I, and many other in the parish, heard her shouting rather harshly at you. I had a check in my spirit that very day Miss Murphy but I refused to take things any further, hoping, naively, that you might confess to me as your priest what was actually going on. Now I have to make this clear to you that while I won’t do anything without your permission, unless I feel anyone is in danger, I can’t promise not to disclose any of this out with of here, since we are having a face to face session and this isn’t a formal confession in chapel. You do understand that don’t you?”
“I do Father, but mam has suffered enough already. To want to take her own life Father, then want to put her youngest most vulnerable child into care knowing she won’t ever see her again…I feel that tells us both what her mental state is, don’t you? I don’t want police involved, though I understand my parents have already involved social services, but I only have Shaun’s word for this and frankly I am not sure I can fully believe him given the circumstances. He called the police on me and had them come find me in England to check Yasmin was safe. He knows full well I have looked after her ever since she was born and that I would always put her first and care for her fully, but he was the one who met with the psychiatrist at the hospital with dad. He was the one who told them mam had care at home 24/7 and agreed Yasmin was better off away from the family. He expects me to care for mam Father, but I can’t do that. I know she’s my mam and I love her but I want a life too. Is that such a sin? I don’t want my sister in care. I love her Father. I would move heaven and earth for her. I know about her syndrome too. I am not naive. Liam understands about it too. He wants ti marry me and we can raise Yasmin together. But Father Riley…I need your help.”
Father Reilly sits upright in the armchair with his ankles crossed in an awkward position as he reaches for his coffee only to realise the mug is empty.
“As I said before, your brother Shaun did phone me. He did seem very concerned about the child but it did strike me as strange that he thought you would be unable to care for her. You are such a gently, loving, kind soul. Very maternal too.”
“Thank you Father. She’s an absolute darling. Such a gift from God indeed. But dare I say it…a little more costly to keep than I perhaps anticipated. I only work part time you see Father, though I devote so much time to my family as you have always taught me to do. Liam works full time, though he’s not long started his job and it’s monthly pay and…”
I pause as I watch Father Reilly change position in his chair as his eyes gaze towards the kitchen.
“What with the extra expense of going to England for Liam’s aunt’s funeral and suddenly having to leave home I have to confess that we are struggling a little. Not with the baby’s care you understand, just with the immediate costs…like nappies, baby wipes, food…could you see it in your kind heart Father to help? I’ll pay you back. I promise.”
“You do realise what you are asking of me given all the information you have just confessed to me this afternoon Miss….Megan?”
I bow my head feeling so ashamed of myself and the fact I have had to come to see my priest and practically beg just to have a clean nappy for my baby sister and basic food to feed her. Clearly I am not the capable secure adult she needs to look after her after all as I cover my face with my hands and pray quietly by rote.
“Would you mind if I refilled my coffee Miss Murphy? Can I get you some more water too?”
I nod and wait for the man to return. He sits back on the same armchair, still looking uncomfortable with his legs close together quite unnaturally.
“I didn’t have time for lunch sorry. I knew the pot was about to switch off too. I do love my coffee. Thanks for understanding. Right where were we? Ah yes, you asked me for assistance to provide for the baby that is in your care now. To support, in effect, you and…what did you say his name was, ah yes Liam. To support you both in raising the child who isn’t biologically yours and whose parents don’t agree to you looking after her? May I ask you a rather personal question Megan? Are you and Liam in a physical relationship together out-with of marriage?”
Tears sting my eyes as I sob quietly unable to truly admit my sin. I nod though I can’t help myself from blurting out the truth even though I know it doesn’t justify my sin.
“I love him so much Father. I really do. He’s asked me to marry him.”
“That may be so but the Bible has so much to say about self control Megan. You know the scriptures. You know the Lord’s prayer by heart. What does it say? Lead us not into temptation? It is our Catholic Christian duty to control our body and it’s needs, to endure even in hardship, to hold strong whatever the circumstances. I can see your restitution though and I am not cold to your pain. I would like you to promise me that you will recite the Lord’s Prayer every evening for the next two weeks. I also feel you need to do your utmost to make peace with your family and to return the child. If God has in his heart for you to raise her He will make a way. You have to trust him. You will know the right time. Be obedient to God and remember how much sin you have committed. He is a forgiving God but his Word, his commands, are there to be obeyed.
None of us are without fault Megan. We both know that it is an ongoing battle at times to control our bodies, to keep our own wants at bay, to hold back when the pressure is on. Temptation at times can be very strong but we are over-comers. I myself have withheld my own body’s desires over Lent, as I always do, and I know only too well how hard it is. But it comes with such huge rewards both here on Earth and in Heaven.
Now about the practical things you mentioned. I feel burdened by your pain ,especially where a young child is concerned, and though I urge you to return her I understand that the timing must be right for this but yet the needs are immediate. You know we work closely with the local food bank and we have some provisions here too. I can give you a referral to them but I understand they may be closed until after Easter weekend. I do have a contact who may help you if you are able to wait while I make a quick call?”
I feel chastised, embarrassed, and ashamed as I nod in agreement to the phone call. Father Reilly raises from his seat as I am sure I see his face tighten and his mouth draw a breath as he walks awkwardly across the room to his cordless house phone as he presses the number while tapping his foot. Even in my upset there’s something about the way the priest is acting that draws my attention to him. If I didn’t know any better I’d think all that coffee has gone to his bladder but after lecturing me on self control he has set himself up and put himself in quite a position. He’s just lectured me about self control and keeping my bodily needs at bay. Surely he’s not referring to my bladder and his own bladder too? |
Chapter 262
Liam
Finally Megan texts me back saying she’s in the parochial house with the priest and will be home soon. I reply saying I’m just outside the chapel next door and she replies with a simple, ‘ok. X’. What does that mean? Should I knock the house door and check she’s ok or walk home with the baby and wait for her? I kneel down beside the baby again as she reaches out and curls her hand around my finger. It’s a lovely day but we’ve already been out for quite some time and going back to the flat still not knowing if Megan is ok makes me anxious.
“Right Yasmin, Megan said she’s in the priest’s house so let’s go see her ok?”
I walk the short distance to the old house that I’ve been in before and tentatively ring the bell. Father Reilly answers, dressed smartly in suit trousers and a thin v-neck knitted jumper as I notice right away that he’s on the phone. He beckons me in to the small hallway as he continues talking as he points me through to the lounge I was last in just over a week ago. I look around and smile seeing .Megan sitting on an armchair looking tired and emotional. Letting go of the buggy I immediately walk towards her kneeling down and whispering so as not to disturb the priest on the phone.
“Are you ok? I was so worried about you honey. I walked Yasmin down so we could walk you home. Have you been crying sweetheart?”
She nods and looks over at the priest who is over the other end of the room walking up and down whilst talking on the phone.
“Has something happened?”, I ask quietly.
“I’ll tell you later.”
She puts her hands to her mouth indicating for me to me quiet as Father Reilly ends the call and turns to me.
“Hi, Liam isn’t it? Sorry about that. I had to finish that call.”
He reaches out his hand for me to shake.
“Nice to see you again. Will you be returning to chapel this weekend for the culmination of out Holy Week mass? It would be great to see you. I do hope the suit fitted you ok?”
“It fitted perfectly, thank you. I would very much like to come to the chapel soon. Thank you.”
“Great. Now Megan, about what we spoke about earlier. My dear friend Father O’Hara at Saint Mark’s in Newtonards is willing to help you. The food bank is ran from their chapel directly and although clients are expected to have a professional referral he is happy to take my word about your circumstances and can supply you with whatever you need for the next week. He asked if you are able to travel there but I told him as you had walked here that was unlikely to be an option. I assume your family can’t take you given the circumstances at home so he’s asked me to get you to list what you require for the baby and he’ll come over with this in the next half hour.”
“Oh thank you so much Father. It’s really just nappies for Yasmin, size 3, and wet wipes and baby food if possible. I usually feed her whatever I am having but we have so little in just now.”
“Is that all?”
I feel bad interrupting but i can think of a few other things we really need and look at Megan nervously. In a hushed tone, hoping she doesn’t think I’m being greedy, I step nearer Megan and comment.
“What about milk? Yasmin drinks so much of that that what we have won’t last. We’re down to the last toilet roll too. And I’ve no washing powder left either. You and I can wear things a few days but that’s not really possible for Yasmin.”
“Liam’s right Father. Size 3 nappies, baby wipes, baby food, milk, toilet rolls, and washing powder. Just a few days worth will be fine.”
I look at Megan confused. A few days? She won’t be paid until the McGintley’s return from holiday at least a week away yet and my wage isn’t due until Friday. We need at least a weeks worth of things surely? I open my mouth to comment as I notice Megan’s head is lowered and she’s not even looking at me. The priest, who has seemed strangely restless and fidgety since I arrived, is looking right at Megan too. There’s something going on and I need to know what.
“What do you mean a few days Megan? You have told Father Reilly you have no pay for over a week yet and probably longer haven’t you? My wage isn’t due in until Friday and you already know that that will only cover the rent and my other commitments. Have I missed something?”
Megan still has her head down as she kneels beside the buggy and takes her sister’s hand in hers.
“I’m taking Yasmin back to mam and dad. I did it all wrong and I need to make it right. I’m not giving up on her though. I couldn’t do that to you could I Yasmin? But Shaun is right. I can’t just run away from home and take Yasmin. She’s not mine to take. I need to do this right and apply to foster her or adopt her properly. That way it’s all formal. I’ve already confessed my sin Liam and this is what I need to do as penance. I have to make things right. It’s a bank holiday weekend so I’ll look after her until the agencies open again on Tuesday morning then I’ll take her home and mam and dad can do whatever they need to do.”
I grab the handle of the buggy instinctively. Has Megan lost her mind? This is insane! Yasmin can’t go back to the Murphy home. I won’t allow it! I open my mouth to scream but all that comes out is silence as my heart thumps violently and my stomach churns. I think I’m going to vomit but instead I grip the buggy tighter and pull it back suddenly causing Megan to fall forwards onto her knees. Caught between desperately wanting to run out of the house with Yasmin but wanting to help Megan, who is now on her hands and knees on the floor, I freeze as the colour drains out of me. Pulling the buggy back more I go to open the door and then turn back. Megan is on her hands and knees crying silently as Father Reilly stands crossed legged looking awkward and quiet like he’s in another world altogether. I can’t leave my Megan like this. I can’t.
Leaving the buggy I run over to Megan as I sit on the floor holding her tight as she sobs silently on my shoulders.I look up at Father Reilly and say quietly,
“Ask for what she said please. If Megan says we only need a few days supplies then that’s enough.”
I lift Megan up onto the arm chair again as I sit on the arm with my arm around her as the priest dials a number and talks to someone listing all the items Megan mentioned. If we need to wait on this person coming with the stuff then I intend finding out exactly what has went on this afternoon. I’m not at all sure about returning Yasmin and I have a horrible feeling something isn’t right about how the priest is acting too! |
Chapter 263
Megan
I hadn’t realised Liam had text me as my phone had been in my pocket and I hadn’t heard it. I only check it when Father Reilly calls his friend and that’s when I notice the missed texts. Immediately I reply to Liam’s latest one assuring him I am ok and then saying where I am. How was I meant to know he was in the chapel grounds with Yasmin? I was sure he’d be in his flat still but then I happen to notice the time on my phone and I’m shocked how long I’ve been out. I don’t feel I can invite him to the priest’s house, though I desperately want to see him, so I deliberately text leaving the decision up to him.
As soon as the bell goes I know it’s him. I can still hear Father Reilly on the phone as Liam enters the room with my sister in the buggy. I’m immediately impressed he remembered how to put it up and strap Yasmin in. As soon as Father Reilly is off the phone he greets Liam and I’m nervous about what he might say given all I have confessed. It’s a huge relief that he remains professional and friendly and I’m even more relieved to hear that the priest’s contact is willing to help me out with essentials for Yasmin, though looking at Father Reilly while I say what we needs condemns me all over again of my sin of taking my sister from my parents. I have to do what he’s told me. I have to return the child even though it goes against everything in me. I feel like I’m betraying her like Judas did with the Christ. I ask for just a few days worth of provisions and hope Liam doesn’t pick up on it.
I should have known better! Liam misses nothing! I can’t tell him what’s going on, not here, not in front of Father. I need to talk to Liam alone when the baby’s in bed. Not here. Not right now. I hate what I’m doing as I kneel down in front of my sister touching her precious little hands in mine and wishing there was another way. I’ve just told my priest how my mam abused me and is unfit to raise a child and how the hospital only released her on condition she wasn’t to be left to care for anyone and yet still he thinks this is the right thing to do? How can a caring God put me through this? I can’t understand any of this as suddenly the buggy moves making me fall onto my knees with a jolt.
I’m exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally and broken in every way possible, as Liam pulls my sister away from my reach as I lie on my hands and knees begging him to bring her back. I know he’s doing this because he loves her so much and he’s trying to protect her. What I need him to know though is that I love her too. I don’t want to do this either and it’s tearing my heart in two. I just can’t fight though. I can’t even get off the floor as I watch the wheels of the buggy move in front of my eyes as I lose control and my chest heaves in deep silent sobs.
He’s going to open the door. He’s taking away the one thing he knows I can’t be without! But the door doesn’t open. The wheels stop moving. His feet get closer to me again as I feel his strong arms around me lifting me, holding me, supporting me, as my body feels like a lead weight rising off the floor. He chose me. He never left me. He’s still here.
I hear his voice speaking but I’m shaking and sobbing so much it’s all just a noise. The next I know Liam is sitting in a seat beside me as I sip another glass of cold water as Father sits opposite us and Yasmin is beside me in her buggy. This time I can make out exactly what Liam is saying.
“Please excuse me Father Reilly. This whole religion is still very new to me still. But are you seriously comfortable with a young baby being taken back to a family home where she isn’t cared for, where her dad is always out at work and her mum is too ill to look after her, where the only person who has raised her since birth is now not living there? I’m just trying to make sense of this you see. And dare I say so ,but you don’t exactly look comfortable with this situation either. You can’t even sit still!”
“The fifth commandment, Mr Jude, is explicitly clear. “Honour thy father and thy mother as the Lord thy God has commanded thee.” Miss Murphy confessed clearly that she took the child against the parent’s wishes. While her reasons and intentions may have seemed justified to the world we do not live by the world’s rules. We abide by God’s rules which are very clear in the Bible. This little girl here is a precious gift from God. I know her parents well and they have raised a family in the knowledge and ways of the Catholic faith. While I do understand the tragic illness and misfortune of the family it is for them to decide how things proceed and not yourself. God, and God alone, knows where this blessing is best raised. I have advised Miss Murphy of what she should do as penance and she has agreed fully.
Now as for my own comfort Mr Jude, I have had a very busy day today between morning mass, sone urgent parish business and now being here. I have neither had a break nor had privacy to….well that is not a matter for discussion right now. What I will say is that I have had a number of coffees today, but as I spoke about with Miss Murphy earlier, one of the fruits of the Spirit is self control and we must learn to master our human desires and bodily urges until the right time and place. Perseverance and holding on through difficult times is a necessary virtue Mr Jude and suffering is to be endured just as Christ himself suffered.”
Liam looks at me like the priest has just spoken in a foreign language as Father Reilly picks up his empty mug and walks towards his kitchen as I lean closer to Liam cupping my hands around his ear as I smile and whisper to him.
“I think he means he’s bursting for the loo. I don’t think he’s been since before morning mass and he’s drank too much coffee. He’s been fidgeting ever since I got here.”
Liam looks like he’s about to suddenly burst out laughing as he whispers back,
“The other guy could be ages yet. He can’t even sit still. God he must be dying to go.”
“Shh. He’s coming back!” |
Chapter 264
Liam
Thankfully Yasmin is content sitting in her buggy for now watching us all and playing with her fingers and toes. I’m still confused and suspicious about things but even when I question the priest I find his answers too difficult to understand. There’s something about his actions though that don’t appear to add up. His restlessness, his constant moving, his general fidgetiness all make me feel like he’s hiding something, or at the very least is as uncomfortable about everything as I am. Has he called the police? Or worse still has he informed Shaun Murphy where we are? He’s making me edgy and sceptical as I watch him take his empty mug into what I assume is his kitchen. I look at Megan wondering if she feels the same, after all she knows him way more than I do.
After Megan whispers to me I suddenly realise how right she is. My emotions swing suddenly at the craziness and irony of this priest, who pertains to have all this authority, wisdom and knowledge, but who is clearly having trouble keeping his own body under control. He’s surely not going to try to pretend he’s fine while we wait patiently for this other priest to arrive with what we need? Megan quickly shushes me as the priest returns, sitting down opposite us again looking sheepish and a little flushed.
“I hope you don’t mind Liam but I appear to have ran out of milk myself or I would offer you a drink. I’m sure Father O’Hara will be here very shortly though”
Looking at the man, who looks to be in his mid to late forties, I can’t help wondering if he’s telling me the full truth as I quickly look at Megan beside me and smile back at him.
“That’s ok. I understand. It’s just that I’ve been out walking for a while with the baby. They say fresh air is good for the soul don’t they? The weather is glorious today too. You might not have noticed being in chapel all morning but the spring sun has been shining in Bangor today all right. I don’t mind about tea or coffee but I’d really appreciate a cold glass of water, if that’s possible.”
“Oh Father, you’ve already been so kind to us both but I would really appreciate some more water too, if you don’t mind that is.”
As the man raises quietly from his seat, looking suspiciously towards Megan over his glasses, I can’t help but have to quickly cover my mouth with my hand as he turns away from us to walk through to his kitchen. Megan looks at me winking. We really shouldn’t play with him like this, and I suspect Megan will be riddled with guilt tonight afterwards, but it’s already very clear to me that he has some sort of power over Megan and he’s messed with her emotions and heart which makes me very angry and upset. Maybe she could have done things a little differently with how she left with Yasmin but she had her reasons and she was clearly protecting her sister. As much as the Bible has been bringing me comfort since my aunt passed I don’t like how this priest is using it to manipulate and control my girlfriend. I thought confession was meant to leave you feeling better not have you leave feeling worse than you came? If making this priest feel uncomfortable and struggle for a bit teaches him how it feels to be pressured and controlled by others then so be it. It’s not like he can’t excuse himself anytime, after all we are guests in his house not the other way round.
I have no idea if Megan has the same thoughts as me but seeing as she too asked for water I suspect she’s either enjoying watching him squirm or perhaps feeling liberated and more in control now I am here too . Father Reilly carefully puts two glasses of iced water on the coffee table in front of us as we all turn suddenly to look at Yasmin as she lets out a cry.
“She’s probably bored. Hopefully we’ll be heading home soon sweetie. Let’s get you out that buggy shall we?”
As Megan unstraps her sister and holds her I take a gulp of my water noticing the priest watching me. Imagining how this very act might be affecting him I deliberately drink more, enjoying the refreshing taste and coolness in my throat. Father Reilly suddenly looks away from me, his body and face tense as he suddenly stands up and walks towards a large window facing the grave yard and car park of the chapel estate. I notice his hand is now in his trouser pocket and I can make a guess at exactly what he’s doing as I look at Megan then back at the back of the priest to make sure Megan has seen too. Her smirk let’s me know she has as she holds Yasmin in her lap and breaks the silence.
“Was mass well attended this morning then Father? Sorry I missed it. We only got back on the ferry early this morning.”
Father Reilly turns, his hand still firmly in his suit trouser pocket.
“Oh Miss Murphy. How could you possibly forget this special day? Tis Good Friday my dear and the day of mourning. There’s no mass today dear just the liturgy which was very well attended. When you were younger we often participated here in Saint Mary’s with the Three Hour Devotion service marking the three hours Christ hung on the cross. Your Father was very perturbed at my announcement that we would be no longer doing this. It’s not that it’s not important, far from it, and I actively encourage the congregation to practice the long devotion in their own homes but after what happened during it four years ago today I felt I had no other choice. I believe Father O’Hara still carries this out. It’s with much regret that we don’t. Mass will be back tomorrow and I really would love to see you both there.”
I look curiously at Megan wondering firstly what the priest is talking about with the three hour thing ,and secondly even more curious as to what happened four years ago to stop it.
“I do apologise Father. Travelling has surely affected my mind with the days. Of course it was just the liturgy this morning. I remember us going so often as children, though mam always said the Three Hour Devotion wasn’t for children. I remember dad fasting too.”
“Of course he did. As I myself am doing too. You ought to be too. I’m saddened you aren’t in fact.”
Megan bows her head looking ashamed. I still can’t keep up with all these rules and rituals and I’m still desperate to know more about this long devotion and why Father Reilly stopped it.
“I had no idea about any of this. May I ask why you have a three hour service? That seems very long to me.”
“Ah Mr Jude, there is much for you to learn. You know on the chapel wall we have a large statue of Christ on the cross? He was so cruelly hung there for our sins for a period of three hours. Of course it is long, but how much longer must such a period have felt nailed to a cross? Our suffering is but temporary compared to his. It is a great time of mourning, private worship, devotion and reflection that I sadly miss.”
“Why did you stop? Was it just because it was so long people didn’t want to come?”
“Oh Mr Jude, there was no shortage of parishioners willing to participate I assure you. Here at Saint Mary’s we have a devoted fellowship of followers indeed. Unfortunately it was my own lack of endurance , my own folly, my own…lack of discipline which sadly brought the practice to an end here.”
“You didn’t fall asleep did you?”
“Good gracious I did nothing of the sort! Now I don’t feel this I will edify or encourage any of us to continue this discussion. Suffice to say that I am very grateful for the understanding of my parishioners who have remained confidential and discreet about the matter, as they ought to. Now I do so hope Father O’Hara arrives here soon. I have some rather urgent and pressing matters to attend to quite urgently.”
I notice he’s once again facing away from us with his hand very tightly in his pocket as his legs aren’t quite still and his upper body is swaying a little. I turn to Megan who has a look of horror and shock on her face but a twinkle in her eyes too. I hope Father Reilly doesn’t turn around as I mouth to Megan and point to my own crotch to help her understand.
“Did he piss himself during the Three Hour Devotion?”
Megan nods as I turn to look at the back of the priest yet again. How humiliated and embarrassed he must have felt that day, but God how desperate must he have been to get to that point? Given how he’s acting right now I’m starting to wonder if we’re about to witness the same situation repeated. It’s extremely obvious that he’s now absolutely bursting, so much so he can’t even face us. What if his fellow priest stays a while? Surely he’ll excuse himself any minute? He must be in agony holding on so long |
Chapter 265
Megan
As Father returns with our water I start to feel awkward. Should we really be winding a priest up like this, especially in his own home? I suppose there’s nothing really stopping him excusing himself and going to the bathroom though, well nothing other than his pride I guess.
Yasmin, bless her, is bored and probably getting hungry as I take her out her buggy and hold her as Father Reilly faces away from us gazing out the window anxiously. I wonder what he’s thinking about? Is his penis throbbing or even aching like I imagine it might be? Liam teases him very obviously by getting his attention then openly drinking water right in front of his eyes. Looking at Father Reilly I can see clearly the torment this is causing him as I have to look away blushing hoping no-one sees as his obvious struggle is affecting my body and mind. I can’t actually believe I’m getting turned on by my own priest’s need but the way his lower lip is trembling a bit, his glazed over eyes, his pink cheeks and the way he’s standing awkwardly with his thighs so tightly together and a hand wedged in his trouser pocket is so arousing regardless who he is!
Somehow the conversation gets onto Good Friday as it suddenly dawns on me that, of course, that’s today as I feel mortified at forgetting it’s one of the few days of the year that there’s no formal mass. Another thing I’d forgotten about is the Three Hour Devotion that dad used to always go to until Rory was about 6. I remember dad always coming home tired, pale and rushing up to our only bathroom and mam saying to leave him as he was fasting. As adults dad always tried to make us join in too but Shaun was the only one I ever remember going with dad until it suddenly stopped one year. Dad refused to say why, though I clearly remember how angry he was that Father Reilly wasn’t carrying on the tradition anymore.. Whatever had happened I do recall mam being horrified but eventually I overhead Shaun whispering to Iain one time and it all made sense. Even back then the idea of a grown man taking a long mass where everyone was watching you while you were dying for the loo fascinated me and for the first time I’d wished I had been there.
Liam, ever astute, seems to work out what happened remarkably quickly, way quicker than I did 4 years ago, quite possibly because we can both clearly see Father Reilly’s struggle right in front of us. It amazes me, and thrills me, that he hasn’t just left the room to use his own bathroom, especially given how much coffee he’s had since I’ve been here and how long I’ve now been with him. Has he been needing to go the full time I’ve been confessing to him? I glance at the clock on the wall and realise I’ve been with him well over 2 hours now. If he’s had to go for even half of that he must be seriously bursting right now. How much longer will he keep this up?
While he doesn’t outright say that he has to pee, as he stares out the window again looking out for Father O’Hara, his words about ‘urgent pressing matters’ very clearly indicate his growing impatience and desperation. I’m very tempted to say something, after all we all know exactly what’s going on and ignoring the elephant, or in this case the very full bladder, in the room is bordering on silly now. What’s the shame in having to pee badly? It’s not like Liam and myself don’t know about it or ever experience it ourselves!
Nothing more is said though as Liam helps me distract and amuse Yasmin who is bored and hungry. It’s not going to be an easy walk home with her like this and even when we get back to the flat I still need to cook a meal yet. I’m starting to think we should just head away, leave Father Reilly to use his toilet in privacy and find some other way to get what we need when we hear a car pul into the chapel car park. Father Reilly quickly heads out to his main door and opens it as Liam and myself stand in the living room not sure if we should remain inside or head out to the other priest. I can’t help but notice that Father Reilly is now stood at his open door as he moves awkwardly and rigidly from foot to foot beckoning to his new guest.
“Good afternoon Jack! Thank you so much for coming over at such short notice. This is Miss Murphy and Mr Jude and the young child I mentioned.”
“Always good to see you Daniel. I have the things you asked for in the car. I didn’t manage to pick up bags though. Wasn’t until I was half way here that I remembered. I suddenly realised you mentioned they didn’t have transport.”
I can’t help but hope there isn’t too much as I look back at the buggy and suddenly strap Yasmin back in steering it towards the door as Liam follows. Father O’Hara returns immediately to his car as Liam and I follow but I notice Father Reilly remains at his front door. I glance back as my eyes meet his as I suddenly see he has a hand tightly squeezing his crotch as he stands there clearly hoping none of us would see. I quickly turn back and head towards the vehicle trying not to think about Father Reilly too much or what I’ve just seen. Father O’Hara is younger with bright ginger hair, a neatly trimmed beard and a small moustache and he’s wearing smart grey trousers, a shirt and a v-neck tank top as he opens the boot of his car which is full of several packets of nappies, a box of 8 packets of wet wipes, six pints of milk, a loaf of bread, washing powder and fabric softener, washing up liquid, toilet cleaner, a pack of 12 toilet rolls, a bag of what looks like tins and packets of baby food, a box of branded breakfast cereal and a cardboard box of fresh fruit, vegetables and meat. Liam gasps then looks over at Father O’Hara.
“This is way more than we asked for. I don’t think we can carry all this back to my flat.”
“How far away are you?”
“Victoria Road, right down the bottom end. 108. Almost 2 miles away.”
“How about I drop you off and help you in with it. Honestly you are more than welcome to the lot. We had less referrals yesterday with it being a holiday weekend but we got a lot more donated from the supermarkets as a few of them close Easter Sunday or have reduced hours. The fruit and veg won’t keep, nor will the meat. You’d be helping me out by taking it, honestly. May the Lord bless you both, and this wonderful little blessing too. Just give me a minute to say my goodbyes to Daniel. I’m surprised he hasn’t come out with you both.”
I turn round to see my own priest standing half inside the parochial house about to close the door over.
“Daniel. Come over!”
I watch eagerly whilst pushing the buggy back and forth to keep Yasmin happy as Father O’Hara waves furiously to Father Reilly to come join us in the car park. I’m certain this isn’t what Father Reilly wants to do but he walks swiftly up to us, standing with one legs shaking rather obviously as Father O’Hara shows off all he has brought.
“Thanks Jack. I appreciate this. I’m really sorry though but something very urgent has just come up and I really do need to get back in to sort it out. I’m afraid I must dash. Thanks again.”
“Just before you go Daniel…”
Father Reilly has already started walking briskly back to the house as he turns around looking very frustrated indeed.
“Can it wait Jack? As I said this is a very very urgent matter indeed…”
I can’t believe what I see next as my spiritual mentor, my parish priest, the man I have poured my heart to for so many years, who I esteem greatly and hold in high authority, very suddenly bends forward and grabs between his legs so clumsily, so quickly and childlike, as his face turns red and his eyes cloud over.
“Goodness Daniel! You should have said you had to use the toilet my friend!”
I look at Liam as his face shows the same embarrassment and horror that I feel too as Father Reilly doesn’t move or say a thing as the three of us stare at him as it becomes very clear what’s happening. I keep expecting him to run, or at least turn away or say something, but he just stands there frozen like ice as his trousers darken quickly and a growing puddle forms at his feet.
It didn’t have to be happen. Even Father O’Hara seems perplexed as he drives us back to the flat with the buggy in the back with me holding Yasmin on my knee.
“I hope Daniel’s ok. I’ll email him tonight and check on him. I still can’t believe what happened there. I do apologise folks.”
“I think he had to go for ages. I went to the chapel for confession and he invited me into the house because the matter was better dealt with face to face. We were talking for well over an hour and he had two coffees just while I was there. Then Liam came and then he phoned you. I really don’t know why he didn’t excuse himself. He seemed….uncomfortable for quite some time.”
“Ah that explains it then. Us priest’s often have to develop strong self control. You can miss many a meal due to someone in confession, or needing to visit someone in hospital or giving the last rites. We tend to compensate by making sure we at least keep drinking. Old thinking says we’re not really meant to admit our human sides and Daniel does like to do things the more traditional way. I’m still trying to convince him about using his hall for a food bank. He does such amazing work with that heart room but it’s nowhere near big enough and there’s so much potential. He can be a little on the stubborn side too, but what a huge heart he has and he’s so respected around here. We wouldn’t want to ruin that by mentioning today. Is this it Mr Jude? 108?”
“Yes thank you. Please call me Liam. Liam and Megan, and this is little Yasmin. Thanks again. You really are an answer to prayer.”
“It’s my pleasure. I’ll help you in with this ok.” |
Chapter 266
Liam
I’m not sure what I thought this other priest would look like but Father O’Hara is about one of the last men I would place as a church priest. He’s easily only in his thirties, enthusiastic, friendly and down to earth. I’ve been living off the food bank for some time now but this man comes across as totally genuine, generous and understanding. I can’t believe the amount of stuff in the boot of his car that he’s giving us for free! And on top of that he even offers to drop us back at mine.
The conversation in the car is dominated by what we all just witnessed back in the chapel car park. I do feel a little guilty for teasing Father Reilly but what I can’t understand is why he just didn’t go to his own bathroom. We’re all human after all…even priests! The ride home isn’t long at all as Megan carries Yasmin in while Father O’Hara and myself do several trips to the car for the buggy and all the food and supplies. I shake his hand before leaving and he hands me a card with his details on telling us to contact him anytime. I thank him over and over again then after closing the door I return to the kitchen to start putting everything away. Yasmin is crying so I pause to help Megan find something for her to eat and heat it up in the microwave, handing it to Megan before finishing finding room for everything. Megan is sitting behind me at the small kitchen table with Yasmin on her knee feeding her when I turn to talk to her.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had this much food in here ever since I arrived from England. I can’t get over how much there is.”
“I know. It’s not cheap stuff either. I’m so glad there was baby food too. I don’t think this little one could have waited a minute longer for her dinner. What is this? She absolutely loving it.”
I check the jar on the counter and read out what it is before offering to start cooking our own dinner, though I have no idea what to even do. Megan mentions the chicken she got in Lidl which needs used today and the jar of sauce. She starts talking me through what to do instructing me the cut and lightly fry the chicken and put some rice on to cook. She suggests adding some fresh vegetables now we have some and I cut up some spring onion, green pepper and carrot and add them to the chicken in the pot while she continues feeding Yasmin. I pause to hand her a drink for the baby and notice she looks much more flustered than usual.
“Open the jar of sauce now and add it to the chicken. The rice needs turned down to simmer too. It’s smelling good though.”
I do as she instructs feeling rather proud of myself as Megan suddenly stands up holding the baby.
“She’s finished all that dinner haven’t you beautiful? Let’s see if there’s a yogurt for you now shall we.”
I stir the meal in the pot while I watch Megan open the fridge while holding the baby as she reaches in for the yoghurts and struggles to separate one. Handing me the packet I snap one off, put it on the counter, and put the others back in the fridge as I close the fridge and watch as Megan suddenly starts dancing up and down frantically whilst still holding Yasmin.
“Liam sorry you’re going to have to take Yasmin a minute! I’ve really got to go to the toilet. I was hoping to finish feeding Yasmin first but…sorry I’m dying to go!”
I can’t help staring at Megan in awe as I put my hands out to take the child. Fuck she’s sexy as hell when she pee dances like that!
Yasmin smiles at me clearly more content now her tummy is full as I stir the chicken and decide it must be pretty much ready now as I open a cupboard for two dinner plates and find a serving spoon to dish up. I have the spoon in the pot of rice about to serve it just as Megan returns.
“Liam don’t! Stop! You need to rinse the rice first honey. Hold on I’ll take over.”
I step back as Megan boils the kettle and rinses the rice as I sit down and feed the baby her yoghurt. She’s on the last mouthful when Megan puts a plate of delicious food down in front of me.
“What would you like to drink honey?”
“Water is fine. Thank you.”
Yasmin is happy to remain on my knee as we eat and drink together as Megan opens up about all that Father Reilly said to her earlier and how she plans to take Yasmin back home after the holiday weekend . I can’t help but kiss the child on her head as I feel my emotions bubbling at the thought of losing her.
“Are you really sure about this?”
“I’m not giving up on her Liam. Think about it. The police came to check on her in England and saw she was fine. Her legs are so much better now and she’s thriving with us. We’ve now got plenty food and she has somewhere safe and warm to sleep. Mam has a long history of mental health struggles with a hospital report stating she’s not to be responsible for anyone. Dad works all the time. None of my siblings want Yasmin and it’ll cost social services heaps to put her into care. Let’s play Shaun at his own game. Besides I need to do the right thing. I can’t live my life always feeling I did it all wrong. Yasmin deserves better. I need to trust God no matter how hard this is.”
I nod. She makes it sound easy. For me it’s anything but.
Then just as Megan picks up the empty plates and takes them to the sink I suddenly remember something.
“With everything that’s happened this afternoon honey I forgot to tell you something. I had a call earlier from France. Leah called. Mum’s deteriorated a lot and it doesn’t look like she’s going to even get a transplant now. Leah reckons she doesn’t have much longer left.”
Megan turns to look at me, an empty glass still in her hands.
“Oh Liam. I’m so so sorry love. How are you feeling about that?”
I shrug. No-one would want to hear news like that but I haven’t seen my mum in years now. It’s 16 years since I last lived with her and hearing she wouldn’t even tell her new family about me has marred things such a lot. With Aunt Ella it was different, and her loss still breaks my heart, but I’ve kind of grieved my mum’s loss so many times since she abandoned me already. Yet somehow it still hurts as I look at my wonderful girlfriend and tell her the truth.
“I don’t know. It’s sad but not like it was, and still is, with Aunt Ella. Maybe she’ll pull through. I don’t know really.”
She puts the glass down and hugs me even while I’m still holding her little sister on my knee.
At least I have my Megan know. Her love means everything to me and right now she’s the epitome of loving and sexy as I smell the enticing aroma of her hair close to my nose and think about having just seen her squirming needing to wee so bad. I could have her like that forever, if only that was possible. |
Chapter 267
Megan
After Father O’Hara leaves I feed Yasmin some baby food that Liam warms for her. She’s so hungry, bless her, and I can hardly get the food into her quick enough! She even happily sips some water from her tippy cup too which makes me so proud of her. Until recently she only played with it and only really drank from a bottle.
I’m glad she’s eating quickly as ever since I saw Father Reilly grab himself at the door of the parochial house I’ve been really needing to pee. The chat in the car park just seemed to make it worse and then seeing Father Reilly shaking his leg then accidentally peeing himself only made me feel a very strong urge to do the same! Sitting in the back of the car holding Yasmin tightly I had to hold myself I was so desperate but I just couldn’t bring myself to hand Yasmin over to .Liam when he was busy putting all the food away and Yasmin was crying with hunger. I had hoped sitting down would help.
All it’s doing though is putting more pressure on my bladder as Yasmin moves around on my knee while I feed her. With Liam now cooking tea I really don’t want to interrupt him so I try and soldier on despite the constant pressure and tingling. As I scape the bowl for the last few spoonfuls I remember all the water I had at the house with the priest and I know I’m going to have to go pee before dinner is ready. Yasmin is still looking for more food though and I figure if I can just make it through feeding her some yoghurt then Liam will be free to hold her while I rush to the bathroom.
As soon as I stand up though I realise it’s very very bad and my bladder almost gives in then and there in front of the open fridge. I can’t stand still at all, in fact I can barely keep hold of Yasmin as I march on the spot, squirming and dancing around begging Liam to take the baby because I know if he doesn’t there’s a high chance I’ll drop her and piss myself just like Father Reilly did. Thankfully Liam grabs Yasmin and I dash to the toilet urgently only just making it. The relief is incredible, though I am left more than a little turned on both from watching the priest needing to go for so long and the intensity of the pressure from my own bladder. I’m hoping Liam might be in the mood later as my body most definitely is now!
Despite the cheapness of the food dinner is delicious and I’m so proud of Liam for cooking it. Yasmin is such a delight sitting great on Liam’s knee while we eat and talk too. I know Liam is really struggling to understand why I plan on taking Yasmin back to man and dad but I did wrong and I need to make it right. Besides I have plans to fight for Yasmin. I love her far too much to ever see her be put in care.
Then out of the blue Liam suddenly says about his mam in France. He’s only just back from is aunt’s funeral and now this! My heart aches for him and I honestly can’t believe how he’s waited all afternoon to share with me. I just want to hold him, make everything alright for him, heal his pain. I wrap my arms around him while he’s still sitting down with my sister on his lap. He talks a little about how he’s feeling as I continue holding him and feeling his breath on my cheek. The warmth, the sound of his voice and the touch of his body against mine are all only serving to turn me on even more. Yet now it doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to take advantage of Liam’s vulnerability or make him think I only want one thing, even though my desire for that one thing is very very high right now.
I kiss his cheek and take the baby off him and decide to leave the dishes until later. Putting Yasmin on the floor to play with a few of her toys in the living room I stand at the kitchen door and ask Liam if he’d like a tea or coffee. It feels good to not worry if we have enough milk or sugar for once as I return to the kitchen and make two mugs of tea. Having learnt from what happened in England we make doubly sure to keep the mugs well away from Yasmin as I leave mine to cool while I play on the floor with the baby. Liam gets a text on his phone that he reads out. It’s an update from Leah saying the doctors don’t expect his mam to last another night. Immediately I leave the baby, sit beside my fiancée and hold him in my arms again. It doesn’t matter what his mam has done she’s still his mam and always will be. The grief of his Aunt Ella is still so raw too as he rests his head on my shoulder and welcomes my hug.
He doesn’t cry though as I change the subject to something lighter and mention that I think Yasmin is far too tired for a bath and that I’ll just go get her pyjamas and a clean nappy and get her ready for bed. Liam nods and smiles at Yasmin who is lying yawning on the carpet at his feet. On my return I get Yasmin cleaned and changed and warm her up some milk in a bottle. Wanting to give Liam space I sit opposite him in the arm chair enjoying looking at his handsome face and sexy body as Yasmin sucks contentedly on her milk already half asleep.
Liam puts his empty mug on the floor then sits quietly watching me. I can’t help but notice his hand is casually resting on his crotch as he smiles across at me with his eyes sparking.
“You really are beautiful Megan. You know that?”
“Thank you! You happen to be very handsome yourself Liam Jude.”
There’s a glint in his eyes and a hint of a sexy smirk from his mouth as he rubs lightly on his crotch with his fingers enticingly right in front of me and his words sends shivers up my spine.
“I was just wondering Miss Murphy, if just supposing I had to piss right now might make me maybe seem a little more handsome perhaps?”
“Mmm now that depends. Now if you were maybe say, ‘Father Reilly looking out the window squeezing your cock secretly trying to hide how bursting you are’ have to piss I would say that might make you a bit more handsome, but then again if you got to ‘shaking your leg frantically but still refusing to admit your bladder is about to burst spectacularly in front of people in a car park because you’ve been desperate to pee for hours but were too stubborn to admit it because you think self control is some godly virtue so you them wet yourself in disgrace’ need to pee….now that would very easily put you on an off the scale more handsome I think.”
“How about you put that baby to bed then feel my bladder and lower body and you can decide for yourself where I am on your Father Reilly scale? Would that help?”
My heart is reaching and my wet vagina throbbing. I can’t get off the chair and get my sister to bed fast enough. I’m sorry Father Reilly but whatever you think of me right now, and wether you agree or not, I just need this so much. Sin or not I love Liam and he loves me and right now the fact he’s clearly nursing a full bladder and waiting for me to return is almost making me climax in anticipation. It’s not exactly like you’ve mastered self control yet yourself now anyway, have you? |
Chapter 268
Liam
Please don’t think I don’t adore the baby because I absolutely do, but boy am I delighted when Megan puts her to bed and I finally have my lady all to myself. As she sits beside me on the two seater couch, our legs rubbing against each other and her eyes glowing, I untuck my top and pull it up to show off my bloated bladder and prove I meant every word when I said I had to pee. Feeling her hand gently rubbing it round and round and lightly pressing on it makes my muscles tense but my nerves tingle with excitement. I have known that seeing a woman bursting for the toilet has been a huge turn on for me for years but never ever would I have imagined how arousing and sexy I would find holding my own desperate bladder for a woman knowing all the time that my holding and squirming is arousing her too.
My right hand is up at the back of Megan’s neck running my fingers through her hair and struggling not to kiss her deeply whilst my left hand is grasping as my own knee urgently wanting to squeeze my cock as it shakes in my underwear and trousers. I haven’t been to the toilet since before I took Yasmin out a walk earlier. I had a glass of juice before leaving, a glass of iced water in the priest’s house, which I drank deliberately to tease Father Reilly, and I’ve just had more water and tea with my dinner! No wonder my bladder feels rock hard, my testicles ache and my penis is quivering!
It’s like Megan can read my mind as she slips her hand over my crotch feeling for my semi erect penis and cupping the palm of her hand over it.
“Can you wait a bit sweetheart?”
“Mmmm”, I nod back, unable to focus on finding words in my overly excited and stressed brain.
“Good. I mean Father Reilly was bursting for ages wasn’t he? Thinking back he was crossing his legs and moving around not long after I arrived. He must have been so so desperate the whole time we were there.”
“It sure looked like it. Megan, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Were you turned on watching Father Reilly like that?”
I can see her cheeks blushing and that sexy way her lips shake a little when she’s nervous. I’m pretty sure I already know the answer but the thought of her admitting it still turns me on.
“I’m not attracted to him. Never have been. But seeing him fidgeting on a seat in front of me, then turning away from us with a hand in his pocket, then unable to stand still at the door…yes that did make me very excited. I didn’t want him wetting himself like he did and I really feel for him now but seeing him obviously needing to pee very badly but not wanting to admit it, yes that turned me on…quite a lot actually.”
I can’t hold back as I use my right hand to pull Megan’s face gently closer to mine as our lips touch sending waves of excitement throughout my body like I’m on fire. It’s every bit as thrilling, as stimulating, as wonderful as the very first time our lips met as our tongues explore and delight in each other and my hands caress various parts of Megan’s beautiful body. Even as our mouths interlock together though, and my penis grows more, I still can’t shake that ceaseless tingling in the tip of my dick reminding me that regardless how sexually aroused I am I still very much need to piss, and that need is growing and increasing by the minute.
I pull back first, having to grab myself and twist my legs.
“Sorry babe. I gotta piss.”
“I know. Oh Liam I do so love it when you get restless and squirmy like this. Do you remember that time I met you at the fountain after work? I knew you had to go right away from the way you were sitting on that bench and the fact you kept changing position, but just like Father Reilly you didn’t say. Do you remember me taking you to the recycling bins that day? I loved watching you trying to hold on even when you were really really bursting.”
“Oh boy I remember that time so well. I’d been holding on for hours at work and I was getting teased so bad on the minibus because I couldn’t even sit still. I honestly thought I was going to burst sitting on that bench with you. At least the rain helped hide what I was doing that time!”
“That was so hot! What about the time you came to mine and mam was upstairs sleeping and you really wanted to use my toilet? Oh how I was so horny watching you dancing foot to foot in my kitchen holding Yasmin for the first time and then holding yourself under the table while eating scrambled egg and toast. Do you remember how that one ended?”
“Megan I will never ever forget that! You stripping naked and using your clothing to soak up my piss. That was our first time and it was honestly the most amazing sex I’ve ever had! You are so incredible, so beautiful, so perfect, and you drive me crazy with desire. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you and there’s no other woman who could attract and fulfil me like you do. From the moment I first laid eyes on you in that launderette I knew you were special. I was rock hard watching you squirming on that plastic chair and nearly erupted in my jeans when you walked out with the bum of your legging soaking wet. Have I ever told you how often I got off just replaying that day in my mind? I had to find you! I was consumed by you so much!”
“And I was the same with you! I had never been so turned on in my life before and I tried so many times to recreate that same feeling by holding my bladder all the time afterwards. That wasn’t exactly difficult in the Murphy house though with just one toilet, especially when everyone was home like at Anthony’s first communion. I never even got to use the toilet before we left for chapel that day!”
“Oh fuck Megan now that was some day too! You know what’s so ironic though? If Shaun hadn’t given me overtime that day I would never have seen you outside the chapel holding yourself trying to hide behind the buggy. God you looked adorable like that. And then what happened at the back of the chapel…sheesh I am rock hard here just remembering it! The way you pissed so much on that bin bag. God is it any wonder I touched you up?”
“I’ve had many an orgasm thinking about that incident too. Your touch still does that to me Liam. I hope it always does too. You were my first and I can’t ever imagine ever being with anyone else.”
“Never mind your touch baby, just your eyes on me and your voice sends me wild…and you only need to text that you have to pee and I’m putty in your hands. Every single time. See what even just talking about this does to me?”
I pull down my trousers and underwear as my long hard penis springs out as Megan immediately reaches for it and strokes it making me gasp.
“Would you like to see what this is doing to me then too?”
“Oh fuck yes! I want the whole fucking sensory experience too babe. I mean since you’re touching me it only seems fair that I get to touch you too?”
“Oh absolutely. Seeing as we are all alone for once we may as well make use of the time eh. I assume peeing isn’t your number one priority now though?”
“Ah. Yes. I still need that but something rather more urgent has…emm…cropped up. You don’t mind if I deal with that first do you?”
“I’m sure we can work together on that one if you’d like?”
“Oh God yes please!” |
Chapter 269
Megan
My poor sister is practically dumped on the bed, kissed goodnight and tucked in as I rush quickly back out of the room to be with Liam. Just thinking about him really wanting to go to the toilet is making my head spin with excitement. Sitting back down beside him and seeing his bladder bulge, rubbing it and even pressing gently on it while I watch his reaction is such a huge turn on I can already feel my underwear dampening.
As Liam squirms I am reminded of earlier in the day with Father Reilly and the long period watching him struggling silently. Until I met Liam I wasn’t even aware just how sexy seeing a man holding a full bladder was and even then I’d always questioned if my desires were ignited because of the desperation, and the inevitable movements that occurred as a result, or the mere fact I was already seriously attracted to Liam. It wasn’t until the incident with Gareth when he picked us up at the ferry port in England that I realised just how powerful and compelling seeing any man bursting was to me. Even so I would never have thought I would find my own priest, a man almost twice my age, alluring because of how he was behaving with a full bladder. However, I can’t deny that sitting alone with Father Reilly knowing full well he was aching to piss and not wanting to admit it was one of the most secretly arousing experiences ever. Admitting some of that to Liam is more than a little embarrassing to say the least!
His reaction to my confession is undoubtedly wonderful and understanding though as he pulls me very swiftly much closer as we kiss affectionately and passionately, so much so that I know already where things are leading and I need to be there so badly! Liam is drawing me in to a place of no return and not only am I more than willing I’m driving into it head first at speed! I don’t want the kiss to end, if anything I feel such a compelling need to strip off my clothing and consummate our bodies together that I would rip off everything in a rage of sexual desire if it wasn’t for Liam holding me tightly close to him.
I’m a little confused and disappointed when he rather suddenly pulls back until I notice his hand gripping his crotch like his life depends on it and he gasps that he has to piss so bad. His words instantly turn the tap on even stronger between my sopping vagina and gooey thin mucus sticks to the gusset of my underwear tingling and begging me to get back to the task at hand. There’s no way Liam is getting to the bathroom until I’ve climaxed, though fortunately for him I can feel my body fast approaching that place and with the right moves I’ll be shaking and panting in minutes. Oh God am I horny!
Gazing at Liam as he wriggles and writhes I have this lovely wonderful memory of a time I met him after work when he’d dropped a note through my door telling me where to meet him. We almost missed each other as he came off the work minibus as he seemed so wrapped up in his own world but then suddenly he saw me, our eyes met and I knew that day that we had connected. As I tell him my sudden memory, as he changes position yet again and rubs his distended swollen bladder, he fills me in on how he’d been unable to pee all that day at work and how he’d been so desperate to go on the minibus that his colleagues noticed and slagged him crazy. To think I had no idea of all that as we sat opposite a fountain of all places and we held hands and talked properly for the first time ever. Watching him twisting and tensing exactly as he did on the bench has me grasping at my own thighs as my nipples tingle and my back sweats as my entire body feels it might burst with sexual need.
As Liam suddenly stands up from the seat moving from foot to foot and pressing his legs together I remind him of the time he came to see me at home before mam went into hospital one Wednesday. I remember Yasmin was in her jumperoo that she loved so much and I was trying to keep Liam and the baby quiet as mam was upstairs sleeping. Once again I had no idea Liam really wanted to use the bathroom as he stood in the kitchen holding my sister trying to keep her quiet while I made lunch. It was only when I turned to see him rocking from side to side exactly as he’s doing now that I suspected anything, though my suspicions were confirmed very quickly when he ate with one hand under the table obviously gripping and squeezing his penis, again exactly as I’m seeing him do now right in front of me.
I love how he clearly remembers every single detail about that afternoon too recalling in detail, between squeezing , bending forwards and biting his lips, how I stripped off my clothes in an effort to give him something to pee on as he shook with such urgency on the armchair my dad always sat in when home. I love how our first act of sex holds such precious memories for Liam, as it does me, as my heart overflows with love and need for the bursting sexy man squirming openly in front of me. I’m more than ready, more than open, more that lubricated and I urgently crave to have Liam make love to me…but the foreplay of memories continues.
I can’t believe what I’m hearing that the man of my dreams, the man I adore with every fibre of my being, the mam who has stolen my heart, actually loved me from the moment he first met me in the launderette! I slip one of my hands under my skirt as I have to stroke my vibrating vagina, I have to touch my tantalising teasing and throbbing lady parts over my knickers as Liam pee dances and confesses openly and lovingly that he wanked to the memory of our first meeting and my embarrassing wetting. I had no idea and I could easily masturbate myself at just that statement as the conversation naturally moves on to the day of my brother’s first communion and all that happened that day too.
I’m so engrossed in the memories and my exploding libido and the way my entire body is now hot and bothered and drawing me closer and closer to climax as I gaze up to catch Liam’s eyes and see a spark, a longing, a lust that makes my eyes wander down to his crotch as I realise that his hand is gripping tightly now to a very erect bulge in his trousers. Wether it’s been the memories or his constant squeezing and touching of his anatomy, or what I am doing right in front of him or a combination, I don’t know but it’s very obvious to us both that our bodies are both more than ready now and our minds even more so as I gaze adoringly as Liam pulls his clothing down right in front of my eyes revealing the most delicious and desirable penis a woman could ever lay eyes on. I have to touch it. I can’t stop myself.
I stand up to reach better as Liam reaches down and lifts my top over my head gently but sexily followed quickly by my skirt and even my knickers. I gasp as he looks in shock at the crotch of my panties as the entire area is full of stretchy wet mucus as he fingers at it in awe.
“Geez oh baby! It’s almost like you’ve wet yourself in these!”
I smile and giggle like a little girl as Liam reaches his hand down to where my knickers previously were and his fingers explore my most sensitive, and currently dripping wet swollen, vaginal lips and rock hard clitoris. As his fingers slide in so easily I feel his hardness sliding up and down against my stomach as I bend my head and swirl my tongue around the tip causing him to gasp and draw breath.
“Shit babe! I almost came there! You are so fucking wet and open tonight I could get a bloody car exhaust pipe in there! Oh Megan, I absolutely adore you. Now either I get inside you or I’ll be splattering your entire body with semen. Fuck I am so bloody close honey!”
Liam pushes me back, lovingly yet urgently, as I slide back on the two seater couch steadying myself with my elbows at either side of the seat my legs open and facing Liam as my nakedness surrounds him drawing him in. With his hands guiding it Liam guides his manhood towards the very obvious entrance to my body as he steps forwards thrusting gently but firmly. The sensation of his sliding in easily tickles but lures me as I grip him and suck him in with every thrust and jerk as my legs tense and my pelvis rocks in exact time with Liam’s body. It’s steady, then fast, then steady then fast again as Liam pants with passion and desire as he holds my legs open and pushes his own hips forwards into mine.
I feel it happen unexpectedly quickly as my head automatically tips back as my body shakes with the intensity and fulfilment of Liam emptying himself inside me, the warmth of his explosion making me feel giddy with joy. How can such a beautiful, passionate, loving experience somehow be sin? How can a loving God, who made me fearfully and wonderfully and in his image, and who therefore created my very sexual desires and lust, not want me to have those very needs fulfilled like this? It’s not like I’m exposing myself and giving myself away to anyone. This is reserved for one man only and he’s currently breathing on my cheek with his penis still inside me.
Thinking back to so many memories, so many times, and even the very way we met, surely God has to have had a hand in all that? So Liam isn’t a fully christened Catholic yet but does that really matter? It certainly used to matter greatly to me but that was before I met Liam, that was before I fell in love.
Isn’t it crazy how meeting someone can change so much about you?
“Megan? You ok honey? I don’t want to fuck you and run or anything but Jesus Christ I really gotta rush to the bathroom babe! Be right back, promise!” |
Chapter 270
Liam
None of us wake on Saturday morning until gone 9am, not even the baby. There’s a slow leisurely pace to the morning as I shower and Megan cooks breakfast in her nighty and I help her feed and dress Yasmin wearing only my clean boxer shorts. I watch the baby while Megan showers and as we’re sitting with mugs of tea watching Yasmin crawling around the room playing Megan once again mentions chapel.
“It’s Holy Saturday today. Would you like to come to chapel later with me for the Easter Vigil?”
“I could do I guess. I did sort of say to Father Reilly that I would. Haven’t we missed it though? Isn’t the service usually in the morning?”
“Not on Holy Saturday. It’s at sundown tonight. This is the night when Jesus body was put in the tomb before Mary found the tomb empty with the stone rolled away.”
“I vaguely remember that story from childhood. That was why we have eggs isn’t it?”
“Yes. Holy Saturday is the most powerful, incredible liturgy of the year. I haven’t missed one since dad allowed me to start going aged 10. In fact I suspect this will be Rory’s first time going.”
“I wouldn’t want you to miss it then. I assume it’s ok to take Yasmin?”
“There’s not usually kids there as it’s so late, not little kids anyway. But if she’s quiet in the buggy then I’m sure it will be fine. The thing is though Liam, dad will definitely be there and Shaun and Lilly and Aisling and Harrison. Anthony and Rory will probably be with them too. I’m desperate to see the boys but we need to be wise. I don’t want Shaun making a scene at the Easter Vigil in front of the full congregation.”
“Surely even he wouldn’t say or do anything inside the chapel, would he?”
“That’s the thing though, it starts outside.”
“Outside?”
“Yip there’s a fire outside. Like a bonfire. Then Father lights the paschal candle and we proceed into the dark chapel in order holding our candles. It’s so beautiful and moving. Father would be so disturbed if anyone dared interrupt the proceedings and rituals but you know as well as I do what Shaun is like. I just don’t feel safe taking Yasmin with him there.”
“Would you rather I stayed at home with her then for safety?”
“Mmm. I don’t know. I really really want you there. It’s so meaningful and special Liam. I think you’d really benefit from it.”
I don’t know what makes me suddenly think of it but from nowhere I have this crazy idea.
“Do we have to go to Saint Mary’s? What about that other priest? What was he called? Father O’Hara? Could we go to the service at his church instead?”
Megan’s face lights up and I jump as she suddenly kisses me on the cheek.
“Liam! That’s it! We can go to Saint Mark’s instead! That way I still fulfil my Sunday duty but Yasmin is safe. You really are an answer to prayer you are!”
During the rest of the day Megan excitedly tells me more and more about what to expect and how wonderful it will be. It’s like she’s talking about her favourite pop band not her religion but I can now see a snippet of how passionate my fiancée is about her faith and why my aunt Ella enjoyed her church too. It’s humbling and comforting, though the rituals she mentions still confuse me loads. Still I google what time it’s on and how to get to this new chapel and before I know it we’re in the car with Megan directing me via her phone as I drive towards Newtonards and St. Mark’s chapel at 8:15 at night on a Saturday night. It’s not exactly where I envisioned myself going on my Saturday evenings in Ireland but somehow it’s exactly where I feel I need to be.
The car park is much bigger than Saint Mary’s and better laid out too. We can already see crowds gathering around a small fire nearby as Megan lifts the car seat out and attaches it to the buggy frame covering Yasmin with a blanket. She’s still awake and watching everything going on as we walk towards the fire joining with the others and feeling very welcome and accepted instantly. I don’t know all the things I’m supposed to repeat or do but Megan keeps me right and I do my best to respectfully join in as much as I can. It’s like there’s some sort of ring of protection and awe surrounding us as we follow behind others in a neat line into the large newer building as the priest lights all our candles and the entire room is filled with the beautiful flames swirling around creating such an atmosphere of peace that I almost want to hold my breath and stay here forever.
Megan has handed me her candle while she holds Yasmin but as I see her struggle to join in the rituals that are all so familiar to her I offer to take the baby and we swap over. I feel more comfortable with the child as I feel I have an excuse to watch on rather than joining in what I don’t understand and struggle to keep up with. However, I do feel welcome as I sit on the pew and listen as Father O’Hara begins talking. As Megan predicted I find the readings and words extremely moving indeed as the priest talks about the darkest of times the Christ experienced and how it felt like all hope was lost forever and all the dreams and promises made were fruitless. I can’t help thinking of my aunt Ella and the deep grief and loss I am currently experiencing, our financial struggles and my stress at both the thought of losing Yasmin and dealing with Lauren carrying my child. I know it’s nothing like being killed on a cross for something you didn’t do but I can still empathise with the dark times that the priest is referring too as I feel my eyes welling as the colours and heat of the mass of candles being held swirls around the room blended with the beautiful voices of the full room singing. It’s every bit as powerful and deep as Megan said it would be yet I still feel unprepared as my emotions overspill and tears trickle down my cheek dripping into Yasmin’s hair.
“Tonight is the night we think about everything the Christ suffered for us, everything he went through, every burden he carried. He did this for a reason, even though that reason seemed initially hidden from sight. His pain had a purpose. His suffering wasn’t in vain. But in that darkness, in that time of darkness, that period when everything seemed lost forever there was someone who stepped in, who never gave up hope, whose glimmer of faith in one man was all it took. Her slither of hope, her determination, her love, was what drove her to look for the Christ while everyone else only saw the circumstances and the difficulties and the struggles. Mary Magdalene never gave up. She walked through her pain because love drove her. She found something that no-one else believed, something others didn’t understand. Not everyone will believe you in life. Not everyone understands the love that compels us. But we can’t give up. We mustn’t stop believing in good.”
Those words seem to rest upon me as another song is sung and the voices feel like angels surrounding me. I glance at Megan as she stands beside me giving her all to the faith she holds so strong. It’s her love that keeps believing in me, keeps me going. It’s her love seeing me through. I need to trust her and believe her.
With the baby sleeping in my arms as I sit in the pew listening to everything around me I feel a lightness I haven’t experienced before, a sense that everything will be ok. A feeling like Megan, just like Mary, will be questioned and interrogated and her motives quizzed, but she will be vindicated, others will see that she’s telling the truth and finally believe her and good will come out of our pain.
I lean down and kiss the baby’s hair knowing whatever happens to her that there is hope and there is love and that somehow we will get through this, together. |
Chapter 272
Liam
After we get home from the vigil my mind is full of questions for Megan. Yasmin takes up so much of her time though as the poor baby gets woken with having to be lifted out the car. I decide, while Megan settles her, to flick through the Bible Father Reilly gave me but it’s so hard to find anything without story headings or chapter headings like in a normal book. Finally I give in and ask Megan and she gently guides me and shows me with so much patience even in the late hour. We say a little prayer together and I ask her about forgiveness and confession because I’m starting to wonder if I need to now do all that confessing stuff that Megan has been telling me about. Her answer is vague but it’s so late at night it doesn’t matter really as we have a brief hug and kiss and then head to bed ourselves, both exhausted from being out so late.
I wake first on Sunday and bring a mug of tea into a Megan in the bedroom. It feels good to do something so kind and simple and I love having my woman living with me and getting to see her as she wakes up first thing in the morning. I stroke her hair as she sits up in bed and kiss her cheek.
“Are you wanting to go to the chapel again this morning? I think Father O’Hara said last night it was on again this morning? Or do you want to go to Saint Mary’s? I’m happy to come but if you want to go alone I understand and I can keep Yasmin here if you’d like?”
“I was hoping to go today yes. I missed so much of Holy Week and although last night officially fulfilled my Sunday duty I would still love to go today. I’m happy to go back to Saint Mark’s if you are?”:
“You’d like me to come?”
“We’ll I can’t exactly walk that far can I sweetheart? Of course I want you to come silly. That’s if you want to?”
“Great! I’ll go grab a shower then shall I?”
Megan sips her tea and smiles at me as I leave the room with my clean clothes and head to the bathroom. When I come out I can smell toast and I head straight to the kitchen to see Megan struggling holding the baby while attempting to butter toast at the sane time.
“It’s so much harder without a high chair!”
I readily take the baby even though my hair is still wet allowing Megan to butter the toast, stir some scrambled egg and dish up. I keep Yasmin on my knee while we eat letting her steal some of my toast and feeding her bits of scrambled egg off my plate as I watch Megan sitting in just her nighty. She seems a little stressed as she suddenly looks up at me smiling.
“Ah! I knew I’d forgotten something! I forgot to boil the kettle! Sorry. I’ll put it on now.”
I return to feeding Yasmin but out the corner of my eye I can see Megan moving around as I hear her gasp and immediately I look up. As she puts the kettle on it’s stand and flicks it on I watch as she suddenly turns to face me as her legs twist and she presses a hand between her legs. Immediately I can feel my penis growing under the baby as my eyes light up. I know we don’t have time for anything right now but just this sight alone sets my heart on fire.
“I’ll be right back! Been dying to pee since I woke but you were in the shower. I can’t wait any longer!”
As Megan rushes out I smile and wink at Yasmin.
“Your sister is so beautiful! Naughty Liam though being in the bathroom when she needed in eh!”
Yasmin just touches my damp hair then when I’m not looking helps herself to some more of my toast off my plate. I smile at her and wink at her again.
“Oi cheeky! Looks like I’m not the only naughty one in this family now eh!”
As soon as Megan returns and we’ve finished our tea I look after Yasmin, changing her, which I’m very proud of doing without any help, then dressing her. Other than putting her little cardigan on inside out, which I notice and fix before Megan sees, I do pretty well, even if I say so myself. Megan seems pleased too but we are in such a hurry by then she only tells me as I am driving.
Father O’Hara is on great form again in chapel and the service has a happier, excited feel to it leaving us both feeling upbeat and hopeful as we go to leave. Despite having so many in the congregation vying for his attention Father O’Hara makes a point of shaking our hands as we leave and thanking us both for coming. It’s a lovely touch that both Megan and myself appreciate a lot. On the ride back Megan is relaxed and cheerful as she jokes about what happened at breakfast saying how it brought back so many memories of home when Sunday mornings were always a battle for the only bathroom and how she’d often be cooking Sunday breakfast pee dancing or seeing to her younger brothers and sisters while bursting. I joke back about one thing being different now and that I sincerely hope that the males back home didn’t respond as my body did, which makes us both blush and gaze at each other in connection as I stop at a red traffic light.
“I hope these light change soon!”
“You hungry honey?”
“A little but I never had a chance to go to the toilet before we left and I’m bursting to go now!”
“You’re not going to do an FR on me now are you?”
“FR?”
“Father Reilly!”
I laugh so hard I almost do do what he did as I grab myself but have to let go suddenly to change gears as the lights change!Thankfully we’re not far from Bangor now as Megan continues to tease me by talking away about the week she had the McGintley’s van to drive Chelsea to and from school and the time Rory had to use the toilets at Chelsea’s school, the time her other brother was really bursting and only just made it home and, to my delight, a few times that week when she too found herself very desperate but had to wait. She’s not sparing any details and by the time I reach my flat the inevitable has happened and once again I’m rock hard despite my very full bladder.
“Shame you can’t wait until this one is down for her nap Liam.”
I unlock the door as Megan carries the baby in as I look down and see the bulge in my suit trousers.
“That depends. I mean if she’s going right now I might…”
“She needs some lunch first honey. You think you can wait that long?”
“That depends what I’m waiting for exactly, getting to piss or getting to cum babe?”
“Mmm…how about we try both?”
I swear it’s taking her way longer than usual to get the child out her car seat, remove her coat and heat her up some lunch! I might be imagining it but I can’t help thinking there’s more than a few delaying tactics happening right now, all very much at my expense! |
Chapter 273
Megan
Sunday morning I’m woken by Liam bringing me a cup of tea in bed. It’s like all my dreams have come true at once as he lightly kisses my cheek and touches my hair. As Yasmin starts stirring beside me we talk about chapel again and agree to go to mass at St.Mark’s. I miss Saint Mary’s so much and all the people I know so well but I know there will be so much still familiar in Saint Mark’s and last night’s vigil was so beautiful.
As Liam leaves for a shower, and Yasmin looks up at me in the bed as I finish my tea, I suddenly wish I had went to the loo before Liam went for his shower. As I slide out from under the duvet ready to start the day I automatically have to squirm as my bladder objects to me ignoring it after filling steadily all night. I only hope that keeping busy passes the time super quickly until I can get into the bathroom. I leave the baby lying happily on the bed while I sort out clothes for us both and look out a nappy, wipes and baby hair brush for Yasmin. The entire time my legs keep moving, my knees bending and my calves tightening as I squeeze my buttock muscles to help me hold my desperate bladder. Surely Liam won’t be much longer in the bathroom now?
When Yasmin gets more restless I pick her up and take her to the kitchen. I offer her some warm milk in a bottle which she holds happily herself both drinking from it and playing with it. Opening the fridge and cupboards as I cross my legs and bite my lips I absentmindedly look for something to make for breakfast while I think so much about everyone back home. Is someone making breakfast for Rory and Anthony? Are they ok? Picking up some eggs, milk and butter from the fridge I bounce on my heels muttering to myself about how badly I need to pee. Even though I’ve moved out from the Murphy house it still feels like I’m back home as times of pee dancing waiting ages on a Sunday morning to access the only bathroom flood my mind and I chuckle at the irony that very little has changed. I might be living with my boyfriend now, or even my fiancé, but I still have to wait to use the bathroom even now!
Yasmin is getting more unsettled probably partly to do with how restless and stressed I am but also due to no doubt being hungry. I stop and get a yogurt out the fridge and stand feeding her some to settle her while simultaneously cracking eggs, adding milk and butter and a pinch of salt to the saucepan ready to heat. It’s so frustrating having nowhere to put the child down while I am at the cooker but I struggle on and pop some bread in the toaster while stirring the food. I can’t squirm or dance about now as the lit gas ring is dangerous with Yasmin in my arms so I tense my body as much as possible and do my utmost to hang on.
Finally Liam appears in just his clean underwear just as the toaster pops and I endeavour to butter the toast for us both. It’s extremely difficult holding the baby too so I am ever so glad when Liam takes her from me. Now I have another problem though as I really don’t like cold toast, and especially cold egg, so I decide in my mind to just sit down and quickly eat my breakfast before using the now free bathroom. I cross my legs tight and sit bolt upright as Liam holds Yasmin on his lap and eats his breakfast opposite me. Putting a dry piece of toast in my mouth I reach out automatically for a drink and suddenly realise that I haven’t even made drinks! I apologise to Liam and instantly fill the kettle with water and switch it on. This is the final straw though as my bladder spasms and I pee dance frantically right in front of Liam and my sister, grabbing myself urgently before rushing off to the bathroom quickly.
I feel so much better after using the loo that I eat what’s left of my meal, put the dishes in the sink then go for a quick shower so we aren’t late for mass. It’s all worth it though as mass at Saint Mark’s is great and we all leave in such a high spirited mood. On the way home I laugh with Liam about the morning as I wonder out loud how everyone is at home. Liam apologies for not thinking I might have needed to wee before his shower but when he casually mentions being bursting as we stop at red lights I can’t help the mischievous thoughts that enter my head! The conversation turns to so many times when others and myself had to really pee as we laugh together and jest as I tease him about the fact he might do a Father Reilly and piss himself. I know talking about toilets probably isn’t helping Liam but he seems to want me to carry on especially when I go on about times I really had to go when driving the McGintley’s van a few weeks ago.
By the time we get back to the flat it’s very obvious Liam has a hard on as I tease him more about waiting. There’s something so hot about just thinking of him really having to pee and he’s definitely not the only one now horny that’s for sure! We can’t do anything with Yasmin around though as once again she’s getting hungry and tired as I debate wether to cook something for us all or just heat her another baby jar. I look at Liam, with his sparkling eyes and cute smile as I gently take Yasmin’s coat off, put it in the bedroom and then walk back to the kitchen. Handing the child to Liam I open the fridge still staring lovingly at Liam as I see the bottom drawer full of vegetables.
“How about I cut some of these up and make us some soup? It might take a while but it would be worth it don’t you think honey?”
“Emmm. Isn’t there anything a bit quicker babe? Just thinking about the baby and that…”
I chuckle. Somehow I guessed he’d say that as I wash and pierce a baked potato and put it in the microwave.
“Only kidding. I’m just making a baked potato for Yasmin. You don’t mind staying with Liam while I make it do you Yasmin?”
Liam looks me right in the eye, his sultry eyes jesting and understanding exactly what I’m doing to him. He’s free to object of course but his rosy cheeks, blushing face and obvious election indicate he’s not objecting in any way. |
Chapter 274
Liam
Holding Yasmin makes holding my bladder harder, but at least being stiff helps. Just watching Megan prepare and cook the potato for her sister is turning me on as Megan looks at me like I’m the sexiest man she’s ever seen. Oh how I adore her so much and seeing her this playful is so exciting and exhilarating. I am loving this teasing but there’s also a limit to my patience too as I watch the numbers count down on the microwave as Megan grates some cheese and chops a little butter ready, all the time licking her lips, winking and generally teasing me.
But before the numbers even get down to the final minute on the microwave things suddenly change as my mobile rings in my pocket and I answer it as best as possible with a curious baby in my arms. It’s Leah again, soft, sad and solemnly speaking as she passes on the news of my mum’s passing. Mum apparently fought on longer than expected, prolonging it for all her family, but she finally went at 11:42am. It feels weirdly comforting that at that exact time I was in Saint Mark’s chapel attending mass. Even weirder is the fact I suddenly feel a compelling desire to talk to Leah and hear more as she seems every bit as needy to talk to me too.
Megan, thankfully, senses something has happened as she takes her sister off me and finishes preparing her food while I stand silently listening to the sister I never knew I had until a few weeks ago and probably will never meet. There’s a connection between us now though, even momentarily, a shared loss and shock that unites us despite the short and difficult history between us. I feel a need to sit down as I grab one of the dining chairs and sit before I fall. Megan sits nearby with the baby on her knee, cooling her food and feeding it to her as I zone into the conversation on the phone as my hormones abruptly cool and settle and I feel a strong need to pee yet feel powerless to do anything about it.
Leah tells me all about the interventions the doctors tried, how mum woke briefly but didn’t know who she was, how her own dad was terrified to leave her for hours fearing he’d miss her final moments. It’s all so sad and heartbreaking even though I don’t know Leah or even what she looks like. I know I’m squirming on the chair and fidgeting, I know I am rubbing myself a lot, even unconsciously, and pinching the tip of my penis even as she talks, but I am so tied to the call, so drawn to hear Leah’s every word, that I can’t bring myself to pause or end the call so I can use the bathroom. That seems too frivolous, too insensitive, right now so I just do whatever I need to to wait.
Wrapped up in the intensity of the call I don’t even realise that Megan has finished feeding the baby until I look up and see her gone. I’m so busy asking Leah about her family, finding out what support she has and listening as she cries down the phone as I grip my manhood ever tighter as I feel a very urgent need to pee almost overwhelm me. I urgently need to excuse myself from the call, but that just feels so rude given the situation as I cup my entire hand over my crotch and fondle myself like I’m kneading bread. It’s helping very slightly, though nowhere near enough, as Megan quietly stands at the doorway watching me. While Leah continues talking between her sobs I look up and mouth to my beautiful lady.
“I’m bursting!”
Megan, my hero, turns around and opens a cupboard behind her grabbing two tall drinking glasses. I blush as she kneels right in front of me between my legs as she attempts to undo the hook of my suit trousers, unzip my fly and find my aching dick. It would help enormously if I could let go of myself and stop twisting and squeezing but I’m terrified that the second I release my grip I will burst everywhere in my expensive suit trousers that were given to me by Father Reilly. I flinch as Megan does her best to reach my member as her touch sends shivers up my spine. I have to remove my hand, there’s no other way. Clenching and drawing my muscles as tightly as possible I hold my breath as Megan finally finds my penis and pulls it out the fly of my underwear and places it into the top of one of the glasses. I would burst right away if it wasn’t for her thumb running the length of my flaccid penis and causing it to thicken and expand a little. I look down at her shaking my head frantically as she smiles up at me mischievously.
My bladder is beyond the point of waiting though as a spurt shoots out rattling into the glass as Megan holds my penis in place. I need to keep control, which isn’t at all easy as I try to answer something Leah asks me without her having any idea what’s really going on right in front of me. I grip the side of the chair tightly as more urine pours out of me speedily as I stare at the glass trying not to overfill it. Fuck this isn’t easy! I’m not sure I can stop! Megan, thank goodness, is one step ahead of me as she squeezes my tip tight shut as the first glass reaches its limit. I can see how hard it is for her to hold my dick tightly between her forefinger and thumb whilst lifting the full glass onto the table and grabbing the empty one. No sooner has she released her grip and put my penis into the second glass when I surge forwards pissing like a fire hose, the noise echoing in the small kitchen. Stopping as this one gets full is much easier even though my bladder isn’t completely empty yet. The pressure has now eased enough that I can breathe and relax as Leah ends the call just as Megan tucks my manhood back into my underwear.
“Thank you honey! I thought I was going to piss myself!”
“It was my pleasure. Always happy to help you pee Liam. I’m sure you’d have done the same for me. I take it that was your sister?”
“Mum passed while we were in chapel this morning.”
“Oh honey. I am so so sorry. She’ll be reunited with her sister now though, if that’s any comfort.”
“I’m not sure that’ll be much of a comfort to either aunt Ella or my mum to be honest. They never saw eye to eye much here on earth so it’ll take a miracle for that to change in heaven.”
“Well, if nothing else, they are both watching over you together now.”
“And no doubt arguing over me too still!”
“Families eh! Come here and let me hug you at least you handsome man! Oh and your boxers seemed quite damp. You might feel better changing out your smart clothes and putting clean boxers on. I’m more than happy to help you do that too if you want?”
“Oh yes please!”
I look up to the ceiling mimicking talking to my aunt and mum in heaven.
“But no watching you two ok!” |
Chapter 275
Megan
An unexpected phone call cuts our fun rather suddenly as I take over caring and feeding Yasmin while Liam talks on his mobile. I can tell even from the one sided conversation I can hear that it sounds like it’s his sister and given the situation with his mum I carry on quietly giving him the space and privacy he needs. Yasmin eats enough and I then sort her out for her nap before returning to the kitchen doorway seeing Liam clearly antsy and squirmy as I watch him twisting and turning on the seat very obviously extremely desperate for the loo. While it’s very much a huge turn on it also feels somewhat disrespectful given the fragility of things with his mum so when he mouths that’s he’s bursting I do what needs to be done to save his dignity.
Although we laugh about things I know deep down that Liam is hurting, grieving, mourning and losing both his aunt and mum in quick succession is truly awful. I do help him get changed but mainly because I don’t want the bedroom light turned on since Yasmin has only just gone to sleep. Liam puts on some shorts and a t-shirt looking every bit like the footballer he told me he once was in his late teens and early twenties. As he returns to the kitchen to wash up he casually jests about us missing lunch. I completely forgot about making us something as I make us both a quick cheese sandwich and a glass of water each. Liam has barely finished his water when he rushes off out the room again smiling on his return.
“I must have still had loads in my bladder from earlier. That feels SO much better now!”
We spend the rest of Sunday clearing up a bit, doing laundry, playing with Yasmin and just enjoying being together. The reality looms heavy over both of us that we may lose Yasmin and not see her again once I take her back home. That thought clearly weighs heavy in Liam’s mind as after we settle Yasmin for the night Liam asks me once again if I really am taking her back.
“I need to Liam. You do understand don’t you? It’s not like I’m dumping her and running though. Not by a long way! We both know mam and dad can’t cope with her but even though they intend putting her into care it’s not as easy as they think. Shaun and dad should never have agreed to mam coming home on the condition she wasn’t to be responsible for anyone. It’s not like either of them will care for Yasmin now is it? Or Anthony or Rory for that matter. If dad calls social work they will no doubt question how they are capable of looking after the boys but not Yasmin. Dad won’t give up work. I can promise you that much. Shaun won’t either and neither will Lilly. Aisling now has her own baby to think of, the twins are away and now Theresa is too. I’ve moved out so the only adults at home are mam and dad. Dad can argue all he likes about Yasmin needing more care but Rory is still just 10. Mam would still be legally responsible for him and Anthony after school. With the hospital paperwork about man’s health we all know how that will go. In fact I still wonder how things have went this week. I’m going to pop home Tuesday and see how things are. Please don’t worry. If there’s only mam there I definitely won’t be leaving Yasmin, not until I know she’ll be safe.”
“Shaun won’t like that.”
“Well then he needs to be there to take her off me, and all her things too. He doesn’t finish work until what? 5:30? The only social workers he’ll get out at that time of night are the duty ones and even then they’d need to be serious issues for them to come. If they are really serious about putting Yasmin into foster care then Shaun and dad will have to have time off work. That would take a miracle. Even if things do go Shaun’s way, as I told you, I will be putting myself forward, well putting us forward, to say that we are willing to love and care for Yasmin as her family. I still think we have a firm case especially after the police visit in England.
“You do know I want to be Yasmin’s dad don’t you?”
“Yes. She adores you too. Anyone can see that. Are you ok if I go for a bath? I feel really tired tonight and a bath sounds amazing right now.”
“Of course not. Go ahead. I’m going to read that Psalm in the Bible and maybe some of those other bits you found for me yesterday. I thought I could maybe look up some of those prayers you say too on the internet and have a go at saying them. What do you think? Mum didn’t have a lot of time for religion but aunt Ella would be delighted to hear me now. I can just imagine mum looking at her in heaven right now drawing her a dirty look and aunt Ella smiling and using her finger to mimic gaining one point to her. “
“They’d both be very very proud of you Liam. From the man I first met who couldn’t use a washing machine in a launderette and who I saw humped at the side of a chapel having had a panic attack you have come a long long way sweetheart. Look at you now wearing a suit and going to chapel two days in a row, changing nappies on your own on a baby and even cooking a meal for us all. Never mind your mam and your aunt both Yasmin and I are so so proud of you too. I can’t think of anyone better to be Yasmin’s dad other than you. Try not to worry. I can’t promise everything will be ok but I just keep praying to Saint Jude, the patron saint of desperate situations. As Father O’Hara said we have to have hope don’t we.”
“That’s true. I didn’t have that at all until I met you though. God I love you so much Megan Murphy. I can’t wait for you to be my wife!” |
Chapter 276
Liam
Easter Monday we go for a long walk down the sea front. The weather is glorious and the sea calm. Megan talks about her childhood memories of looking for fossils with her older brothers and searching for jellyfish with Anthony when he was younger. I can’t help but wonder what life with siblings might have been like for me. Would I have been close to them or as opposite to them as my mum was with my aunt? I think about my sister Leah in France and wonder how she’s coping with everything after yesterday. Having recently went through it with my aunt my heart is heavy for her knowing all that she’ll have to face in the coming weeks. As we walk past a coffee shop I dearly wish we had the money to stop for a hot drink but that’s not to be for now as we walk the few miles back to my flat. With the curtains wide open in the living room and the spring sun shining in even my pocky flat actually looks nice for once. It smells nice too after all the cleaning Megan did yesterday too!
I try watching TV after lunch but I can’t settle as Megan sorts and neatly folds all Yasmin’s clothing and things ready for her returning home tomorrow. I switch off the TV and go help her even though she insists she doesn’t need my help. As I round up Yasmin’s plates and plastic cutlery and pick up a bib from the hall radiator where it was put to dry I can feel my eyes prickling with tears. Yasmin has only lived with me for 10 days, most of which weren’t even in this flat, but it feels like so much longer and the thought of not having her in my life is utterly devastating. Megan is quiet too as for once I just don’t know what to say to make things better.
Even after Yasmin wakes up from her nap there’s still a tension in the air with very little being spoken and everyone on edge. I seriously want to scream ‘don’t do this Megan’ but she’s not my child, she’s not even my relative, and I have no right to control Megan and what she does. There’s no fun or frolicking on Monday evening either as Megan gathers everything for her sister together in the hallway, I get organised to go back to work, and the conversation centres around practicalities like me giving Megan the car keys to make it easier for her to take Yasmin back home and discussing who should have the only set of keys to the flat. In the end I readily give Megan all the keys as I’ll be away before her in the morning and I can very easily walk to the council headquarters. As much as I am wanting routine back, and definitely needing the pay, I am not looking forward to work one bit, even more so because I want to be there with Megan when she takes her baby sister back home.
I don’t sleep well at all Monday night, seeing almost every number on the clock all through the night. I gaze at Yasmin tucked in the middle of the bed as she rolls and kicks and shuffles around. I can’t decide if she’s perhaps dreaming or not in a deep sleep at all. Does she have any idea what’s about to happen to her? Will she be ok? If she goes into care will she even remember I even existed? I listen to her soft breathing and rest my arm over her little body as I feel so disloyal, so guilty, about what might happen to her. No child deserves the start she’s had. No-one should ever be abandoned by their own parents. If anyone knows how that feels I do.
By 5 am I give up and quietly slide out of the bed, tip toeing to the bathroom and then sitting in the dark in the living room drinking coffee in the hope it might keep me awake enough to do a full shift at work. It’s useless though as the next thing I remember is Megan stroking my cheek and calling my name and then seeing the now cold mug of coffee on the coffee table where I left it. I must have dozed off!
“You been sitting here long honey?”
I just shrug. I don’t even know what the time is and I just feel numb to everything right now.
“Thinking about your mum?”
“A bit. And Yasmin. And Aunt Ella.”
Having Megan sit beside me with her arm around me is such a huge comfort even though she doesn’t say anything other than “it’s ok.” It sure doesn’t feel ok but for once at least I don’t have that severe panic and urge to run like I’ve had previously all my life. As Megan gets up and walks into the kitchen I think back to when I first arrived in Bangor and how everything made me so anxious: Confessing to the police what went on with Lauren back in England, confessing my past to Megan, confessing to my best mate that I had no money, confessing to my aunt that I had run away, and even confessing to my new girlfriend about my fetish. I think about how Megan found me on the ground by Saint Mary’s chapel struggling to breathe and unaware where I even was. I might be very anxious again now, confused and stressed, but I’m still safe in my flat, I’m still with Megan. I’m not lying at the side of an old building or down on the sea front wanting to slide off the rocks into the sea.
As Megan sits back down beside me handing me a glass of iced water I look at her with so much renewed respect. I know what her life has been like and the abuse she too has suffered. Yet she’s still full of hope, full of faith and calm in a crisis. Maybe I am fearing the worst? Maybe I am scared of history repeating itself and the thought of the permanent guilt I’d have to carry at abandoning Yasmin like my mum did to me? I reach out and hold Megan’s hand squeezing it tight.
My mind is still whizzing with everything and I’m still scared but maybe, just maybe, Megan is right. Maybe it might actually all be ok after all.
Maybe work will help take my mind off things too. |
Chapter 277
Megan
Tuesday the 28th of April: the year of the very late Easter, a day of glorious sunshine and warmer than average temperatures…and the day I took my baby sister back to the family who don’t even want her. What sort of person even does that? Who leaves a vulnerable, Downs baby with a mam who has severe mental health problems and who is not able to care for herself let alone a child? Who leaves a helpless child with a man who might have physically fathered 9 children but who couldn’t tell you any of their favourite colours or shoe sizes? I park neatly behind the family car at number 25 Woodburn Close looking at the untidy small front garden and immediately thinking to myself ‘if the grass is that unruly outside what state must the inside of the house be in?’ Unclipping Yasmin out her car seat I debate to myself about getting the buggy out the boot with all her things but decide that when the time is right I’ll come back out for it all. I put the changing bag over my shoulder, hold the smiling baby in my arms and walk down the short path to the front door.
I still have my key somewhere in my pocket, ironically that I never even had the entire time I lived here until Shaun finally got some more cut and gave me one just days before I walked out with Yasmin. I probably ought to give that back with Yasmin now too. I don’t live here now so I ring the bell then knock the letterbox because I’m not sure the bell even works. A manly gruff voice shouts through the letterbox catching me unaware.
“Who is it?”
“It’s Megan. Megan and Yasmin.”
“Oh. Just a minute.”
It goes quiet as I look at Yasmin in my arms and smile. She has no idea what’s about to happen and I’m not sure if this delights me or terrifies me, probably both. I turn my head suddenly to see Anthony open the door bare footed, tired looking and standing only in his boxer shorts.
“Come in.”
I step inside, the smell immediately hitting me and feeling like I’ve just walked into a war torn refugee camp with unopened mail on the floor, dirt on the carpet, clothes strewn on the bottom of the stairs and even a stray sock on the floor half way towards the kitchen. The kitchen door is open and even from a distance it looks like it’s overflowing with dirty dishes, grime and rubbish. Before I can comment on any of this I hear footsteps rushing down the stairs as Rory comes into view, wearing just his pyjama trousers as his voice reaches me before his body,
“Megan! Yasmin! Oh I miss you so much Meg! Are you coming back? Please say you’re coming back? I need you! I miss you!!”
His arms surround me as he pushes the changing bag to my side as his head rests on my chest. He’s grown since I was last here, so has Anthony, and both of them urgently need hair cuts, but God it’s so brilliant to see them, to hear them, to touch them in the flesh.
“So what you been up to then you two? You had a good first week off school?”
“Shaun and Lilly took us swimming, and trampolining. Oh Meg I so want a trampoline! Do you think dad will get us one? Maybe in summer? Shaun said he might. They took us to KFC too. And Aisling did an egg hunt for us and we had a games night at her house.”
“Sounds like a brilliant week to me.”
“Dad took us to chapel too.”
I look up at Anthony and smile.
“Well it was Holy Week and that’s a very important week, as you know.”
“I went to the vigil too Meg. I never knew there was a fire! Father Reilly was so boring though!”
“He was a bit.”
I chuckle. I felt the exact same at their age.
“So who’s looking after you both today then?”
Anthony shrugs.
“Dad’s at work. Mam’s in bed. Shaun said he’d call later to make sure we are ok. I think Aisling was meant to come over but she’s not been well.”
“She still being sick?”
“A bit. I’m not sure exactly but Shaun isn’t happy and dad was stressed. I think she was meant to do more with us to help but hasn’t been well.”
“Have you had any breakfast? I can see you’ve not showered yet.”
“I haven’t had a bath in ages! I hate the shower!”
“Hasn’t dad been bathing you Rory?”
“He’s been too busy at mass or sitting with mam.”
“Lilly not even do it?”
“Nope.”
“Goodness! Have you eaten though?”
“Shaun had some stuff delivered one day. We had pizza last night.”
“Rory’s right. We’ve been ok but not like proper meals and stuff. Not like you make.”
“Mam not made you anything.”
“She doesn’t leave her room. Well she went to chapel on Easter Sunday, but that was all. Dad borrowed a wheelchair as she wasn’t able to walk much.”
“Want me to see what’s in for your breakfast then?”
“There’s not much in. But yes please.”
Anthony is right. The fridge is half full of out of date food and the freezer badly needs defrosted. I hand Yasmin to Anthony and put the changing bag on the floor, which desperately needs swept. In the bottom drawer of the freezer I find some frozen sausages and hold the bag up.
“Fancy a sausage sandwich either of you?”
“We’ve no bread.”
“Any beans in the cupboard?”
Anthony shrugs so I check myself and find a tin near the back.
“Sausage and beans sound ok?”
Rory wraps his arms around me a second time and Anthony smiles.
“Right you two, go get dressed and I’ll start cooking..that’s if I can find anything clean in here! You have got clean clothes haven’t you?”
I turn around and immediately see piles of clothes in front of the washing machine and piled high on the dining table. I have no idea what is dirty and what is clean as I sigh as Anthony hands me Yasmin back as he walks down the hall followed by Rory. I’ve never ever seen the house this bad. As I count in my head how many days ago I left I clear off piles of pizza boxes, clothes and dirty dishes from the high chair, wipe it down as much as I can and put Yasmin in it. I still need to find a flying pan, clean saucepan for the beans and clean plates too. I roll my sleeves up, open the cupboard under the sink to get cleaning supplies and begin washing up and tidying beginning with a frying pan which has days worth of grease and grime.
Thank goodness I took Yasmin with me when I left! The boys might not realise the state of the place but at least they can talk and speak up when they are hungry, or thirty or need help, even if they don’t always get it. Yasmin can’t do any of that and I dread to think the mess she’d have been in if she’d been left here too. As I smile at her and gaze at her freshly washed hair, her clean clothes and her bright eyes I have this sudden thought: Before I even wash a single dish or fry even one sausage I take out my mobile and take some photos.
I’m starting to wonder if mam and dad can even be left with Anthony and Rory right now. If the house is anything to go by then very clearly they shouldn’t be! |
Chapter 278
Liam
My mind is definitely not on work as I walk along the high street towards the council headquarters. Standing by the fountain, which hasn’t even been turned on yet, I linger with a few of the other guys waiting on our pick up and instructions for who is where. Aidan says hi and Ryan passes the time of day with me but it’s all small talk as all the guys look tired after Easter weekend.
The minibus pulls up but the driver has no list of who is where either as he goes inside to reception asking what’s happening. He returns right behind Shaun Murphy who approaches me, looking directly at me with eyes that ooze anger and hatred towards me. Surely he won’t make a scene in front of the others? What exactly does he even know? Inside I’m terrified, though my feet feel nailed to the ground as I stare at him stubbornly but anxiously. His arm raises suddenly, almost like it’s in slow motion as I anticipate being slapped across my face, but instead a false smile is plastered on his face and he smiles at me threateningly as he shakes my hand far too harshly.
“Good to see you back Liam. I trust your time in England went without too much trouble? Death isn’t such a pleasant thing to deal with now is it?”
I return the shake, refuse to give him the satisfaction of eye contact and just nod my head in silent agreement. He hasn’t actually said he knows his sister was with me but there’s most definitely a heavy weight and further meaning to his words.
“Right guys. Over the long weekend I’ve been working at changing some things. I need this department to run more efficiently, be more organised and our output to be of higher value than its ever been. So starting from today your work pairings will last for a full week at a time, as will your locations. That way we can manage transport easier and quicker. Use of the work phones will be monitored even more closely and for security I have a tracker here for each of you too. You may or may not have heard the recent news of one of our car park attendants being attacked and left in a stairwell so I need these trackers kept on you throughout your shift. That way I can see where you all are from my office. Stick to your routes precisely! If you divert at all you will be warned. Three warnings, as always, and you’re out. Understand everyone? Now I want Bangor to be the cleanest, smartest town in Northern Ireland, agreed?”
“I join in the chorus of ‘agreed’ even though I’m still trying to work through the repercussions of what’s just been said. Like we are all kids in infant school Shaun walks up to each of us in turn clipping on a tracker to our uniforms and noting the codes into a shall pad against our names. I feel like a remote control toy under his control as we stand eagerly awaiting our jobs from our master. The driver has dutifully returned to the minibus as he waits those needing transport as Shaun pulls out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and shouts out orders like an army officer.
“Ryan and Asif you are on the high street including the car parks and train station. Jared and Michael you are in the country park. Don’t forget the tennis courts and boating areas. Craig and Simon you are on the Broomfield estate and shore line. The beach will have been busy this weekend so cover that twice at least. Steven and Rodger you are the main roads including the A20. The cones will be set up by 9am as always. Ensure the roundabouts, lay-bys and cut offs are all spotless. Finally Aidan and Liam you are on the Kilcooley estate. Make sure your trackers remain on at all times with the schools still off. Safety is paramount. I’ll see you all back here at 4:30 for clock-off. Off you go.”
Aidan looks at me with a half smile half sulk as we sombrely walk towards the minibus and get in. Of all the routes I can’t think of a worse one than this and even more so with the schools off still for the holidays. The worst estate in the whole of Bangor by a long way! I’ll be picking needles up by the bag load and I’ll have to be on high alert at all times. On top of the worry about how Megan will be taking Yasmin back home this is the last thing I need! The only thing I can at least look forward to is a decent lunch for once since Father O’Hara so kindly gave us so much food at the weekend.
The morning drags on as Aidan and myself fill bag after bag with empty bottles, cans, cigarette ends, take away food packaging, crisp packets and sweet wrappers. The countless graffiti, discarded needles and alcohol cans and bottles remind me constantly how rough the area is but up until lunch time there’s not many people around other than some keen dog walkers and some young children kicking a ball around in a grassy area at the end of some flats. Aidan is too far away to even chat to, though we do remain in sight of each other always. We take a break on a highly graffitied bench by some shops and a run down community centre where we eat lunch but we make a quick getaway as gangs of teenage boys approach us from behind and to our left. While they don’t physically touch either of us the torrent of abuse shouted at us leaves me anxious and shaking. I desperately need to hear how Megan is but I daren’t stop anywhere to get my mobile out, not unless I want it nicked!
I follow Aidan closely all afternoon as my bin bags quickly fill as I realise my bladder is filling equally as fast! As we pause briefly to leave our bags in the designated place for uplift I casually mention my need to my work partner hoping we can find a toilet somewhere before the end of the shift. Aidan simple raises his eyebrows knowingly before pointing to his tracker.
“Ain’t had one strike yet mate and don’t intend getting my first today. Mr Murphy knows where we are remember. Afraid you’re gonna have to wait until the end of the shift.”
“Is there not even a building I could hide behind or anything? I’d be quick!”
“You’re just back from a week off Liam. Mr Murphy was in a awful temper all last week. I’m warning you it ain’t worth it. Stick to the route rigidly. You heard him.”
Please God let Megan be having a better time of it than I am today! I can’t wait to get out of here and back to see her! |
Chapter 279
Megan
The boys come back down just as I’m frying the sausages wearing uncoordinated clothes that barely fit them. I guess all their main clothes are somewhere in this kitchen either dirty or clean but not put away, of which I haven’t a clue right now. Rory keeps Yasmin amused as I get Anthony to help me clear the table and wash some plates.
“Should I take mam up some breakfast Meg?”
“I think you should Anthony. She needs to eat.”
I finish frying the sausages and stirring the beans with my back to the kids when I suddenly hear a familiar voice and turn feeling the colour drain right out of me.
“Meg? What you doing here?”
“Mam…I….I…I came to bring Yasmin back. Shaun told me to.”
“Well I didn’t did I? I don’t want her here! Or you! We’ve been much happier without you here haven’t we boys? I’m getting better now, no thanks to you! You did us all a favour taking that one with you too! Nothing but a sick disabled crying leech that girl!”
I look at my mam in shock. She looks like my mam, she sounds like my mam, but the disgusting words aimed at her youngest child pouring out her mouth like poison aren’t her. I’ve heard her give me many a mouth full over the years but nothing like this to Yasmin. Rory grabs the plate I hand him with his sausages and beans as he cowers at the corner of the dining table shielding his face. Anthony doesn’t even sit down as he looks at his own mam then his baby sister then back to his mam. I sense even he’s in shock. Then mam sighs, takes a deep breath, softens her voice to become the epitome of sweetness, asks me quietly for a cuppa then the turns and walks into the living room looking like she might burst into tears any minute. I whisper to Anthony beside me as Rory breaks off some sausage and puts it on the high chair for his little sister.
“Is this what she’s been like?”
He nods then takes a bite of his sausage saying nothing more.
I haven’t even washed the dishes we’ve just used let alone began filling the dishwasher with the the huge mountain of dirty dishes all around the kitchen when I hear the door bell. Mam is in the main room, her hair tangled and unwashed, wearing a stained nighty and odd slippers watching TV with Rory when Anthony leaves me alone with Yasmin and goes to open the front door. Whoever it is I hear him invite them in as I rush to the kitchen door curious to see who it is. Whoever it is Anthony seems to know them as he leads them into the living room to see mam. I dry my hands, pick up Yasmin and creep towards the living room door to try and quietly spy.
Yasmin ruins that plan before it’s even started as she sneezes loudly in the dusty hallway. I look at her as her innocent eyes meet mine and I touch her precious face hoping none of the cruel words of her mam have penetrated into her spirit. Yasmin has made our presence known so I may as well introduce myself as I step into the living room to be met with mam scowling at me and grunting.
“Hi, I’m Megan Murphy and this is Yasmin. And you are?”
“Annabella Bryce, community mental health support worker. I’ve been out seeing Mrs Mary Murphy here every day since her discharge. Unfortunately, what with the holiday weekend, I haven’t seen her since Thursday so I arranged to come earlier today. Mrs Murphy was expecting me.”
“Oh. She never said.”
“I’m bloody here you know! Megan was just leaving, weren’t you Megan? She doesn’t live here. Just popped in to visit, didn’t you? Maybe come back another time when it’s more suitable… like never!”
“Now Mary you know we’ve been talking about your language. I don’t mind Megan staying. In fact I think it might be better if she did.”
“She’s my big sister!”
“Shut up Rory! Go to your room!”
“But mam…”
A tearful Rory runs up to me cuddling my legs.
“He’s right. I am his sister. And this is the youngest Murphy child, Yasmin. Shaun, Aisling, Iain, Niamh, Theresa, Megan, Anthony, Rory and Yasmin, the nine Murphy children. Just the boys left living here now though since I moved out.”
“Ah yes. Exactly as my records show. Lovely to meet you Megan. So how are you feeling today Mary? How have you been since we last met on Thursday?”
“I’m a fucking million dollars! What do you effin think?”
“How have you moods been? You managing to eat any more?”
“Look I’ll eat when I’m hungry. What business is it of yours anyway?”
“Now you know I am only here to help you get better and to make sure you have everything you need. Is Mr Murphy upstairs?”
“Dad’s at work.”
“Ok. So are you here all day then Megan?”
I sit down with Yasmin on my knee and Rory on the arm of the chair as close to me as he can physically get. Given how I’ve just seen mam is I think this nurse needs to be filled in on a lot of things. I only came here to supposedly return Yasmin to her mam and dad but her mam appears even more sick then when I left 12 days ago and her dad isn’t even at home! Shaun can say whatever he likes but regardless what mam and dad intend to do with Yasmin she can’t even be left safely with them until something is arranged. I’m actually scared to leave the boys here let alone the baby! I take a deep breath, cuddle Yasmin in and pray this nurse actually wants to know the truth.
“Actually I think you should know the truth. I’m not sure how much you know but I lived here, so did Yasmin of course, up until Thursday evening of last week. Mam has been sick with depression and other complex mental health issues since the day I was born. I’m 22 by the way. It started with post natal depression after having me, well that’s what I was lead to believe anyway. She stabilised for a few years after the boys were born but in recent years she’s relapsed, as you can see. Theresa, my older sister, and myself have been keeping things settled here, keeping the house in order and looking after the children, but Theresa moved out recently to start a new job in Belfast leaving only me at home as dad is always at work. That was ok when I wasn’t working but I started a new job too, though it’s only part time. I also have a partner now too. As you know mam was admitted to hospital again where things were reassessed. As part of that process, as you may already know, it was agreed that mam could be released to community care on the condition she wasn’t to be responsible for caring for anyone else. With dad at work, and me working part time, dad and Shaun decided that it would be best if Yasmin here, she’s got Down’s in case you weren’t aware, was put into care. I refused to allow that to happen as I have raised her from the day she was born so I left and moved in with my boyfriend and have been looking after Yasmin ever since. I have not been back all last week as my partner had a death in the family and I have been in England with him for the funeral. I popped back today partly to visit and see my younger brothers and my mam, but mainly because Shaun has dad threatening me with the police and insisting I bring Yasmin back.
Now, given what I have just seen for myself this morning since I arrived an hour or so ago, I clearly won’t be leaving Yasmin and I am very reticent to even leave the boys or mam right now. I can assure you that this is not how the house was when I was last here and I am horrified at what I have walked in on today.”
“She’s a fucking liar! Bitch! Don’t listen to a word she says. We are fine boys aren’t we? We don’t need your help so you can fuck right out of here and leave us alone. I know your sort. Don’t think I don’t! You plan to drug me again, tie me down and take me away. I told you Anthony! I told you, didn’t I? Don’t open the door to strangers! Now get out of my house… all of you! And shut up crying Rory! You’re giving me a headache!”
I put my arm around Rory and allow him to sob quietly into my chest. How could I have left my brothers and gone to England with Liam knowing what my own mam was like? How could I even imagine I could leave my baby sister in this toxic environment?
Mam needs urgent help. I’m not even convinced she should be home. But where does that leave my brothers? I can’t stay here and look after them permanently but I can’t leave them alone or with mam either? |
Chapter 281
Megan
It turned out Annabella Bryce was not only lovely but very clued up and she already knew much of what I told her. She stayed almost an hour, which took me by surprise I have to tell you. Mam shouted at her and me to leave several times but neither of us did. Anthony stood by the living room door clearly unsure of everything but trying not to show it. Rory stayed on the arm of the chair gripping my arm throughout her stay, and Yasmin sat on my knee quietly, which amazed me.
After exhausting herself with shouting and ranting mam ended up falling asleep on the couch as Annabella and myself talked, both of us very aware that mam was probably still listening so using code and facial expressions and hand actions like we had this secret language that only we understood. I heard the phone ring at one point and Anthony slipped out to answer it in the hall. It wasn’t until the nurse left that he told me it was Aisling and that she had been admitted to hospital for some checks and that she wouldn’t be able to come this week at all as even if she got home her GP had ordered her to rest.
I had to promise Annabella that I would remain with mam and the kids for the rest of the day, which I was going to do anyway as there was no way I could leave the boys with the house in the state it was. In turn she promised she’d phone later to speak to me as she ‘needed some advice from colleagues about some things’ which I knew was code for she was going to inform her boss about the situation with mam and let me know what they said. Her parting smile and handshake and the way she complimented me on how I handled the baby and Rory and how well looked after and healthy Yasmin looked all left me feeling much more confident and at peace. I genuinely had no idea what would be said in her later call nor what she’d do next but there was an invisible yet strong trust formed between us during that hour that shocked me and delighted me in equal measure. I felt seen and understood for the first time by a professional who had the power and means to help.
As soon as she left Anthony asked if he could play on his computer in his room. It felt strange him asking me since I no longer lived at home but it showed a respect from a 12 year old that I admired greatly. I nodded and suggested Rory go with him. The boys raced upstairs and I returned to the kitchen strapping Yasmin back into her high chair giving her some things to safely play with as I put the radio on quietly that mam always used to sing along to loudly as I cleaned and sorted everything, only pausing to take the boys up a glass of juice each and some crisps I thankfully found in a cupboard. By lunchtime I had worked out the clean clothes from the dirty ones and taken piles upstairs to be put away, had the dishwasher on for the second time, the washing machine on and I had filled two full bin bags of rubbish! Digging in cupboards I found a tin of meatballs in tomato sauce and some pasta and somehow managed to rustle up a makeshift lunch for Anthony, Rory and Yasmin, though I settled for a mug of black tea myself as there was no milk and not enough food for four.
Having been upstairs with clean clothes to put in various rooms I had noticed already that Yasmin’s cot in mam and dad’s room was full of dirty clothes including underwear, and even moving them I wasn’t prepared to let Yasmin nap in it. Instead Anthony helped me bring in the new buggy from the car and Rory pushed it back and forth while he watched something on TV until his baby sister slowly dosed off. I asked the boys to help me do some jobs and amazingly neither objected as Anthony gently woke mam from the couch and helped her to her bed and Rory helped dust while I swept and mopped. There was still loads to do upstairs but finally by around 2:30 the downstairs looked a lot better.
I helped myself to a glass of juice after cleaning out the mop bucket and then as I went to check on Yasmin in the living room I had a very sudden and extremely strong urge to pee! As I climbed the stairs to the bathroom it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn’t been since I got up that morning! Adrenaline must have blocked the signal from my bladder as judging by the intense pressure I now had my bladder had clearly needed emptied for some time! Pushing the familiar bathroom door open I was shocked at what faced me. Urine marks on the floor, dirt around the sink, a filthy bath and even worse an unflushed filthy toilet! I opened the cabinet for the bleach planning to pour some in the toilet and use the toilet brush to get the worst off at least before I used it but my body had other ideas! The pressure was just so intense and the urge so strong I hovered over the seat not daring to even touch it as I hauled my skirt up and pulled the gusset of my knickers aside allowing urine to gush out of me furiously into the filthy pan below.
Feeling so much better I washed my hands before setting about scrubbing and cleaning the bathroom as best I could not even aware that one of my brothers was standing at the bathroom door watching me. I had my arms over the bath scrubbing it with cream cleaner and a cloth when I jumped hearing my name. Turning around Anthony stood there shyly with a hand nervously over his crotch and leaning slightly forwards.
“Meg, please can I use the toilet?”
“Of course. Just let me wash my hands and I’ll let you in.”
He must have been needing in ages, poor kid, as I had hardly started drying my hands when he shyly rushed in with his back to me and I heard him peeing before I’d even left the room! I popped to check on Rory then returned downstairs to find Yasmin awake. Just as I lifted her out the buggy for a hug my mobile beeped with a text from Liam. I hadn’t even realised the time! It was now 4pm and the mental health nurse still hadn’t called back! I text Liam I needed to stay at the house a little longer but by his second text I suddenly realise I have the only keys to his flat.
Finally the phone rings and I race to the hallway shaking as I answer it hoping dad doesn’t walk in right as I’m on the phone. It’s someone from the adult mental health team informing me that Annabella is on her way back out with some others and to make sure I open the door to them. Shaking I put the receiver on it’s stand and stare at the front door holding Yasmin in my arms. Dad is due home from work any minute, Liam is on his way for the heys to his flat and now Annabella is due back, and by the sounds of it there’s other people with her too.
It’s more than a little overwhelming as I hear the boys shouting and arguing upstairs and mam screaming at them to be quiet or she’ll kill them. Whoever comes through the front door first might come into a cleaner tidier house than I did but it’s still far from a suitable place for my beautiful precious baby sister to be left in. |
Chapter 282
Liam
Racing along the high street, adrenaline pumping, I rush into the Broomfield estate jogging past old age pensioners pushing trolleys, people out walking dogs and parents still taking kids home from school having clearly detoured on route. I have to get to the Murphy’s. I have to piss so bad!
Out of puff, sweating and so bursting to pee I finally turn into Woodburn Close, rushing down the street towards number 25 just as I see a car pull up behind my aunt’s and three official looking people get out. I have no idea what they are going into the house for but as long as I can use the bathroom there right away I can maybe find out later from Megan. Almost there. I can make it. My twitching penis is oh so ready. Pushing the gate open, my face flushed from running and the pressure in my bladder, I reach the front door and ring the bell. Come on Megan! Answer the fucking door and let me in to pee! The seconds pass like hours as I march and squirm on the spot knowing I’m so close to a bathroom now and the inevitable relief that will bring.
The door isn’t answered so I knock the letterbox loudly. I know Megan is in. I just walked past my aunt’s car and she text me to say she was here. What’s holding her up? God I need in so badly! I grab between my legs clutching my dick for dear life as a voice behind catches me unaware causing me to leak a bit in shock.
“Can I help you?”
I turn seeing Megan’s dad standing right in front of me, so close it’s uncomfortable and almost threatening.
“Em…I just came to get Megan.”
“She doesn’t live here, as you well know. You chucked her out too have you? Seen her true colours at last? Now if you don’t mind I would like to get inside my own home please.”
I step back giving him access to the front door. As he pulls the handle down and goes to push the door open I can’t help myself. With a hand in my pocket squeezing myself so hard it hurts I clear my throat and blurt out in typical Liam style,
“We’re getting married you know! Wether you like it or not. And for your information your youngest daughter is doing great, not that you even care. What possessed Megan to even think about bringing her back here I will never know!”
I can feel my whole body shaking. The anger, frustration and stress of the situation combined with my aching need to release my bladder makes me lose any inhibitors I had previously as the older man pushes the front door open to step in as I grab the handle behind him and wedge my foot in the door.
“Megan! Megan! You in there? It’s me, Liam.”
The door is pushed closed on my foot as I lose my grip on the handle and my foot slides out as I squirm again fighting another surge from my bladder.
I rush to the front window gazing in as I squirm so badly almost crying. I really really gotta pee! I need to know Megan is ok though. Just hold on Liam! You can do this!
Inside there’s so many people in the front room as the noise of voices makes it impossible to know what’s even going on. I race back to the front door knocking again before opening the door and just stepping in. I gaze up the stairs longingly debating in my mind about simply dashing up and using the bathroom but also terrified for Megan and what’s going on. Then I see Megan through the open door of the living room as she smiles at me and waves her hand to beckon me in. Oh God no! Please honey can’t you see I gotta use the bathroom first? If only she could read my mind! I slide a hand back into my pocket again feeling a dampness from my earlier leak and praying no more comes out. I’ve had to go so so long now it’s a wonder I haven’t burst already!
“This is Liam. Liam meet Annabella. She’s mam’s community mental health nurse.”
I raise my free hand anxiously to shake the woman’s hand. Beside her are two older men, one dressed smartly in suit trousers and v neck jumper with a shirt and tie underneath and the other in smart trousers and a fitted shirt.
“Please to meet you Liam. This is Trevor Kelly lead social worker South Eastern Health and social care trust and Declan O’Leary community police officer.”
As I nervously shake their hands I glance around the room as Megan’s dad catches my eye drawing me daggers.
“He has no business being here! He isn’t family and I object to him being here. I told you all already to leave so please do so right now, every single one of you!”
“Please dad. They are here to help.”
“I might have known you’d be the one causing all this Megan! You are a disgrace to the Murphy’s you are! I don’t even know what you are doing here. I thought we weren’t good enough for you any more? You all do know she stole my baby daughter, don’t you? Left the country with her too! You said you were police didn’t you? So arrest her then! Isn’t that why you are here?”
“Dad you know as well as I do that they are here about mam.”
My thighs are so tightly squeezed together, my fingers gripping my manhood for sheer life and my face so tense my jaw hurts as the voices around me get louder and more heated as my own inner voice yells at me to run upstairs and piss. They won’t miss me if I sneak back out and upstairs will they? I feels so antisocial and like I’m abandoning Megan but if I don’t do something right now I’ll disgrace her even more and risk any chance of raising Yasmin and us getting her home. Whoever the social worker is it’s hardly going to look responsible and mature if I’m standing there in soaking wet jeans from my own piss. I edge towards the living room door pleading in my mind for no-one to notice me as Mr Murphy gets more angry and animated by the minute. |
Chapter 283
Megan
The living room goes from empty to full in the blink of an eye as mam’s mental health nurse arrives accompanied by two older well dressed sincere looking men, followed minutes later by dad and then Liam walks suddenly appears too. It’s all loud, chaotic and upsetting for Yasmin who clings to me tearfully very obviously scared. The boys stay upstairs as dad shouts louder and louder over everyone, so much so that I don’t even notice Liam disappear until I he races back downstairs shouting.
After that things get even more chaotic, if that were even possible, as I realise very quickly that mam is lying at the top of the stair with an open bottle of toilet cleaner in her hand. She’s barely conscious as one of the older men phones for an ambulance as dad is now the only one still at the bottom of the stairs. Rory screams and Anthony grabs him back into the bedroom as Liam once again seems nowhere to be seen. As I stand watching as one of the men checks mam for a pulse, breathing and puts her in the recovery position and the other asks for details for the ambulance I do my best to remain calm and answer as best I can, struggling to be heard over all the commotion and Yasmin’s crying.
Mam is taken out the house once again by ambulance as I finally see Liam again as he appears right beside Rory and Anthony with his arm round Rory as he leans his other arm out offering to take Yasmin. I hand him the baby as the whole crowd of us head back downstairs as dad grabs his coat and heads off in the ambulance with his wife.
“Is mam dead?”
I bend down right to Rory’s level and reach out for his hands.
“She’s sick Rory but she’s gone to the right place. The doctors will do all they can to make her better.”
“Well they didn’t make her better the last time did they?”
“I know sweetheart but this time is different. I promise you the hospital will look after mam as best they can.”
In the corner of the room Annabella is updating the men explaining mam’s history as nods and knowing looks are exchanged. It seems morally wrong that they are all being paid to be here while my family is once again in crisis as silence falls in the room as Annabella suddenly realises we are all listing to her private conversation. She then turns to address Liam, myself and the boys.
“Now obviously this wasn’t how any of us planned things but I am sure you realise the sincerity of this situation. I believe that you, Megan, have had the baby in your care now for almost two weeks and I have read the report from the police in England and seen for myself today that your care for the child is more than satisfactory. I had every intention of coming here this afternoon to see if we could come to some arrangement, assuming you were in agreement, to you formally having Yasmin in your care, at least for the short term until her mum was more stable. I alerted both Mr Kelly here and constable O’Leary to the situation earlier today and it was our intention to come and arrange something, initially short term, for the safety of both you boys. Just until your mum got better ok?
Now clearly things have now changed, which none of us could have predicted. So the priority now, of course, is to put some arrangements in place for everyone to ensure you are all safe and cared for tonight. Mr Kelly here will take over from here.”
“Mr Trevor Kelly, lead social worker, south Eastern health and social care trust. Firstly I am deeply sorry for what has happened here today. Of course you are all very upset and scared but my job is now to get all the children to a place of safety, and I am hoping we can all agree on where that should be. I had hoped, given the size of the family, that one of the older siblings may be in a position to take on care of their younger siblings temporarily while Mrs Murphy recoverers. It does now appear from tonight’s incident that this may not be as short term as I, and Miss Bryce, anticipated. So, Megan isn’t it?, may I ask if you are aware if any of your brothers and sister are in a position to care for Anthony and Rory here as an emergency.”
I look at Liam who nods immediately.
“I can have them sir. I lived at home here with them until ten days ago, cooking, cleaning and caring for them since they were tiny. I have moved out to live with my partner here, Liam, and we have been caring for Yasmin since then.”
“Our records confirm this Trevor. I took the liberty of contacting the schools and the health visitor for the baby and even the GP earlier. The schools might be closed but I did still get an email reply from the Head. Apparently it’s been the sister, Megan here, who has been attending things at the school, collecting the boys, picking them up when sick and so forth and the health visitor confirmed that Mrs Murphy has been struggling on every occasion she visited. However, the family GP was satisfied the baby was well cared for by her older sibling. There’s only been one missed hospital appointment for the baby and that was apparently just two days ago. I understand from Miss Murphy earlier today that this was due to her being in England for a funeral and she was unaware of the appointment due to having left the family home.”
“So you and your partner have been looking after the youngest sibling since when?”
“Since Thursday the…16th sir.”
“And do you have room for the other siblings tonight or perhaps for a few nights until other arrangements can be made?”
“We have a spare room they can use yes. Please sir, let them come home with me. They have both been through enough tonight to be further subjected to more trauma and taken to strangers. At least until we hear what is going on with mam.”
“Are you ok with this constable? And you Miss Bryce?”
“Yes. That seems ok to me.”
“I have no doubt the boys will be well cared for by their sister and her partner. My only slight concern Mr O’Leary is regarding finance. I believe Mr Jude works but Miss Murphy only works part time and the financial responsibility of three additional children will be huge on them.”
“We’ll manage somehow won’t we Liam?”
“Yes. Yes we will.”
“Anthony, Rory, are you ok about staying with your sister here for a few nights until your mum gets better?”
Anthony nods but Rory practically shouts.
“Please let me stay with Meg. Please!”
I wrap my arms around Rory with tears in my eyes as the three visitors confer over something quietly again. It’s the older social worker who speaks up next.
“Right. I have a proposal. I will have to contact Mr Murphy as a matter of urgency, but as he has physically left his own children tonight without ensuring their safety or care I do feel we have the authority here to make these arrangements in his absence. I will access some emergency funding to help short term with the care of the children assuming they can stay with their older sister for a couple of days. This is Tuesday so I will have someone contact you first thing tomorrow Miss Murphy to make arrangements for this but meanwhile I assume you are fine to feed them and provide for them tonight despite the short notice?”
“Yes. Yes that’s fine. Of course I will feed them sir. And they will have a warm bed tonight too with everything they need. I promise you that sir. I can’t tell you how much I love them both. “
“Would you like me to stay and get things organised?”
I look at the nurse feeling that same connection I did earlier in the morning then look at Liam who has Yasmin quiet in his arms like some magician.
“I have the car with me. We’ll be fine. But thank you so much for the kind offer.”
“Please take care Megan. I’ll be in contact tomorrow first thing. I have your mobile number here. And thank you. It’s always in everyone’s best interest to remain with family as much as possible. Anything you need you have my number.”
As the three adults leave I pull my mobile out my pocket, click on notes and begin making a list.
“Right boys let’s think. We need the blow up air bed, the pump, your duvets and pillows, your pyjamas and some clean clothes, toothbrushes, any personal items you want to take and something for you to do tomorrow like Lego or box games. Anthony we have a futon so you can sleep on that and Rory can use the air bed. We’re going to have an adventure at Liam’s. It’ll be like a mini holiday together. Good job I brought the car isn’t it! If you start putting stuff on your beds I’ll go find some bags for it all. Liam will come help you.” |
Chapter 284
Liam
The room is full of stress, shouting and demands yet none of them are as strong as the voice in my head yelling at me to find a bathroom! As much as I hate leaving Yasmin crying and Megan anxiously standing among everyone else I really have no choice. As soon as my body is relaxed I’ll be straight back down to support Megan any way I can. Right this minute my brain can’t even work out what’s even going on as my full bladder is demanding my concentration so much. I slide silently out of the room as the voices become even more heated as I take the stairs two at a time in my urgency. Holding onto the railing for much needed support my eyes are focussed on the stairs right in front of my feet until I reach the top landing and I look anxiously for the bathroom door. As I see it I stride towards it holding my crotch tightly with my open hand cupped over my privates as my foot touches something hard forcing me to look down.
It’s a leg, a body, a woman. Oh God it must be Megan’s mum! I shout down as loud as I possibly can hoping at least one person will hear above all the commotion downstairs.
“Help! Quick! I need help up here urgently!”
No-one appears to come so despite drips of urine leaking steadily into my underwear I race back downstairs shouting even more. Megan and the three others race up just behind me as one calls an ambulance, another takes control of the woman on the floor, removing some sort of bottle from her hand that I can’t quite see properly, and Megan passes on details to the one on the phone. There’s nothing I can do right now as I slip unnoticed silently into the bathroom, and without even closing the door fully I undo my fly and pull out my penis aiming it to the very back of the toilet in the hope it prevents any noise. At first I can’t seem to let go, my muscles so used to being tense for so long and adrenaline pumping so fast through my blood that relaxing feels impossible. Then I close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing as first a short spurt, then a longer one oozes out before the dam bursts as my penis pours out uncontrollably as I do everything possible to keep the noise to a minimum.
I needn’t have worried though as outside the door the focus is all on Megan’s mum as no-one appears to have even missed me as I wash my hands quietly, dry them and slip back out joining the older boys in their bedroom doorway watching. It’s not a pretty sight as the boys witness their mam semi-conscience unable to answer any questions but with her eyes wide open and her mouth puckered. Her body is unable to stand and one of the older men appears to have her in the recovery position as we wait patiently on paramedics arriving. Time appears to stand still as they finally arrive and load the helpless woman onto a stretcher and out the house. I look over the banister as she seems to float down held at either end by men in green. At the bottom Mr Murphy steps back to let them out then, without so much as even a glance upstairs to his children as if they don’t even exist, he puts his coat on and walks out to the waiting ambulance with his sick wife.
Flashbacks to how I felt when my own man abandoned me take over my mind as I rest my arm over Rory and look at Anthony so he knows he has my support. Back downstairs I remain standing with the boys and even take Yasmin from Megan to let her concentrate properly on the situation as it slowly becomes obvious to me that the poor kids have nowhere to go. As everyone discusses the poor boys like they aren’t even there I feel so protective and so incredibly grateful for my dear aunt Ella who found herself in a similar position all those years ago with me. I may not be related to Anthony or Rory, or even Yasmin, but that doesn’t stop me caring and it would destroy Megan if I let anything happen to them.
And so I find myself agreeing to some unexpected guests living in my small flat that already feels inadequate with just Megan and Yasmin living there. Megan, as ever, is the queen of organisation and she has me putting the buggy down and loading it into the boot of the car and ferrying things for the boys out until we are all ready. The car is set up for Megan so I climb in the front passenger seat with the kids in the back as she drives us the short distance to my flat. As the boys help me unload everything at mine I can’t help but think where it will all go as my stomach rumbles and I realise none of us have even had any dinner yet. How I wish I had money to just order pizzas or Chinese but, as always, Megan seems to know exactly what to do as she switches on the TV for the kids, puts Yasmin down on the floor to play and sets about making food out of whatever she can find in the kitchen. I’m in awe watching her as my love and admiration for her grows by the minute.
Maybe one day this is how it will be with our own family? How lucky her siblings are to have her, though right now, understandable, they perhaps don’t realise it.
Dinner is amazing and for the first time I eat in the living room with my plate on my knee. Megan stands at the kitchen counter eating hers and somehow feeding Yasmin at the same time and the boys sit at the small kitchen table. All the kids have a bath and amazingly Megan trims both boy’s hair neatly before she settles Yasmin to bed while I make up the futon that Flavius has been sleeping on and pump up the single air bed. Anthony sets up his Xbox on the TV and we have one quick game while Megan gets Rory settled and by 10pm finally all the children are asleep.
Megan and I only manage to stay up long enough to have some tea and toast and tidy up before we too head to bed, our bodies and minds needing rest after everything that’s happened since we woke up. I have work tomorrow, even though I dread the idea, but now more than ever I need the money as I fall asleep trying to calculate when my next pay day is due. |
Chapter 285
Megan
When I wake in the early hours of Wednesday morning for the bathroom I check in on the boys in the tiny bedroom. Both appear to be sound asleep so I somehow manage to get a few hours more sleep myself despite worrying about my mam and how I can possibly look after my brothers as well as Yasmin. I get up with Liam as he showers and has breakfast before leaving for work. When I kiss him goodbye in the hallway as he’s leaving I hear Yasmin awake in the room and go to get her. Neither of the boys wake before 8:30 and it takes a while to show them how to use the shower and get everyone breakfast and dressed. At least today both of the boys have clean matching clothing and with their newly cut hair they look so much better than they did when I saw them yesterday.
They content themselves playing on the Xbox for a while with Yasmin crawling around them and showing off her latest skill of pulling herself to stand. I hoover and wash the breakfast dishes and make myself a cup of tea all before my mobile rings for what turned out to be the first of many phone calls. The first is from some department in the social work office talking about a request for an emergency payment of funds from something called crisis care fund or something similar. I answer some questions, repeating the same details several times, before finally being asked for my bank details and being promised that a grant will be paid in in the next few days. I secretly hope the boys will be safely back home by then, though of course only if it’s safe and someone is there to care for them.
Before I can even think about lunch my mobile rings again, this time from mam’s mental health nurse, Annabella Bryce, checking how things are and giving me a very brief update on mam. It doesn’t look like she ingested much of the toilet cleaner, if any at all, but since she collapsed so suddenly and lost consciousness and she has no recollection as to why she will need kept in for observation, and that’s without the added complications of her poor mental state. Initial thoughts are that she’ll be kept in at least a week, more likely longer, for assessment and possible changing of her meds and therapy, I update her on the boys and Yasmin and thank her for all her support.
I make some sandwiches, crisps and fruit for lunch which the boys finish off so quickly I wonder where they are putting it! Rory comments innocently that they missed a few meals while I was away but that Shaun had made them promise not to tell anyone. I text Liam this and he eventually replies saying he’s not at all shocked and adding that they’ve all been given trackers to wear at work and Shaun is monitoring them all closely. I try to reason in my mind that my brother might just be trying to keep them all safe but even I can’t convince myself that Shaun has genuine reasons for tracking his staff. He thrives on control and this, sadly, is just another means that he can control people.
I suggest we go for a walk in the afternoon even though I know Yasmin really needs a nap. I need fresh air and it’s not good for the boys to be cooped up in the small flat all day either. We walk to the sea front with Anthony finally opening up about the haphazard way they were looked after last week sharing how they were passed between Aisling and Harrison, Lilly and dad with no-one cleaning the house or making sure there was food in or even clean clothes. That certainly explains the mess I arrived to yesterday, though Rory is more excited to tell me about the places they did go to and the times they went out or had take away like these were somehow more important than everyday basic daily care. I guess to a ten year old they probably were.
We walk back via the high street as I notice Anthony has gone quiet again as I pause to tuck the blanket back on Yasmin in the buggy that she’s kicked off.
“You ok?”
“Is it much further to Liam’s?”
“Not too far. About ten minutes. Why?”
He shrugs shyly before muttering quietly.
“I just need the toilet. That’s all.”
It makes me think of Liam as we carry on walking. He said in his text that he was in the notorious Kilcooley estate again and with his every move being monitored with the tracker he mentioned I can’t help wondering how or where he might use a toilet if he needed one. Maybe that was where he went yesterday when he disappeared briefly when mam was lying on the stairs? I’m so lost in my own thoughts that I don’t even recognise the voice calling my name at first.
“Megan? Megan Murphy is that you?”
I stop and turn seeing Mrs Clements outside the Heart Foundation charity shop looking at me excitedly.
“Oh sweetheart it’s so good to see you again! Oh and how is the little one? Gosh she’s fair grown hasn’t she? Absolute angel that girl is. I missed you in chapel during Holy week dear. Everything ok?”
“I was away Mrs Clements. I had to go to England for a funeral. I should hopefully be back this Sunday all being well.”
“Good. Good. I’ve got a few more things here for you whenever it suits to pop in. A couple of those skirts you love and I put aside some more 12-18 month baby things. That was the right size wasn’t it?”
“Yes. Yes it was. You always did have an amazing memory. Did you manage to sell all that baby stuff you had left? Recognise the buggy here too? Absolute God sent this has been too.”
We carry on chatting a while as I promise to return when I have my purse with me as I completely forget that Anthony mentioned he was wanting the bathroom. When I finally say goodbye and we wait to cross a busy road poor Anthony looks at me pleadingly.
“It’s just down here isn’t it? The flat I mean. Number 108 isn’t it? Any chance I could have the keys Meg? I’m quicker than you and Rory. I promise I know the way.”
“Oh Anthony, I got so caught up with Mrs Clements there sorry. Come on Rory, we need to speed up a bit.”
“But I’m tired Meg. How much further is it?”
“We’re really close now I promise. The slower you walk the longer it will take though won’t it?”
I look at Anthony apologetically.
“We’ve only got the one key to the flat. I’m anxious about you losing it, even accidentally. Come on and we’ll speed up eh.”
He nods quietly. I know he really needs the loo and I have no idea how long he’s had to go or when he last went but I could really go a wee myself too. Tired or not Rory needs to keep up a bit better. I just can’t tell him why because knowing Rory that would actually make him slower than ever and he might even find it funny. I hope my Liam has managed to find somewhere to go too. With so many in the flat now if he comes back bursting like he always did before after work he may find the bathroom isn’t free which I know could prove to be a disaster for him especially if he’s had to hold his full shift. The last thing he’ll ever want to do is have an accident in from of my brothers. |
Chapter 286
Liam
Aidan is absolutely livid about getting his first ever warning. He isn’t talking to me which only makes the day seem even worse than it already is. I feel like I’m walking around the estate in a daze, exhausted from everything going on at home and the atmosphere at work. It doesn’t help that I still don’t know my way around the maze of flats and run down council houses so even though Aidan clearly wants to distance himself from me I need to stay close to him. Just to make everything even worse it’s bin collection day and with a slight breeze coming off the sea there’s loose rubbish blowing everywhere. Picking it up feels so fruitless and such a waste of time as the minute we look back on a completed street there’s more rubbish there again!
The last place I want to sit for lunch is by the shops and community centre but yet that’s exactly where Aidan goes! He buys himself some sandwiches as I eat food brought from home and drink tap water from a bottle. There’s no chatting at all and we’re watched by both a group of teenagers and some seagulls who clearly expect us to leave something for them. I’d rather be anywhere else but here right now but I don’t have a choice. I need the money too much right now.
By the time we are picked up at the end of the shift I’m tired, fed up and eager to get home. As much as I love Megan’s brothers I do hope that there’s news of what’s going to happen to them because it’s clear already that the flat isn’t big enough for everyone. I just don’t know what the solution is though because they clearly can’t go home.
Shaun isn’t waiting for us when we return so we are dismissed promptly and I walk back to my flat with my mind a right mess of how to proceed and what to do. It’s not until I’m halfway home that I realise that for once I’m not almost pissing myself as I reason that I either have too much on my mind or I haven’t drank as much as usual. Thinking it’s most likely the latter I content myself with the comfort that at least if the bathroom is in use, which is more likely now there’s more people in the house, I will be ok to wait.
Walking into a flat full of people feels so weird. The noise and bodies and busyness is such a contrast to living with just my aunt, or Lauren or on my own. When Gareth calls for a catch up it’s impossible to get privacy or even hear him clearly as I try to update him on things and explain why he can hear so many voices in my flat. He jokes that I now have some idea what it’s like to be a dad like him but then adds afterwards that my days of fun with Megan will now be in the past too. There’s absolutely no way I can accept that so the second the call finishes I find Megan to hug her and kiss her on the cheek. Her smile melts me so much that I have a cheeky feel at her bum while she’s cooking dinner. At least with her brothers here we don’t have to worry about holding Yasmin whenever we are in the kitchen as I glance into the living room and see Rory playing peek a boo with his baby sister.
After we’ve eaten and cleared up, which both boys willing help with, and Megan puts Yasmin to bed, the boys bring out some Lego they brought with them and I suddenly relive some happy childhood memories building various things with them both before we tidy up and they get ready for bed. Automatically, like I somehow feel I have to, I pop into their room to say goodnight to them both as Rory looks at me from the blow up bed on the floor and asks the one question I just can’t answer but wish I could.
“Liam, when are we going back home?”
I swallow hard and look around for Megan. How can she disappear in such a small flat? I don’t t feel confident at all to answer but I also feel both he and Anthony deserve to know the truth.
“I don’t know to be honest Rory. It depends on a number of things. Your mum needs to get better so she can look after you and your dad needs help while your mum is in hospital. As soon as something is sorted out so there’s someone there to cook and clean and look after you both then we’ll take you home straight away. Maybe one of your older brothers or sister might be able to help for a bit or another relative maybe? There’s people doing all they can to sort it out for you. Try your best not to worry. I know it’s hard though. Do you want me to get Megan to say goodnight?”
“Why can’t Megan come back home? Everything was fine when she was there. I miss her.”
“How about I see if Megan can explain that more tomorrow for you? She still loves you very much and she will always look out for you. I’ll go see if I can find her to say goodnight ok. I’ll be back in a bit.”
God was this what my poor aunt had to deal with with me? How did she stay so calm and patient with me? I wish I had half her strength and courage. Closing the door over a little I go looking for Megan, finding her lying fully clothed on the bed beside Yasmin stroking her hair almost asleep herself. I whisper so as not to disturb Yasmin,
“That’s the boys in bed. Rory is asking when they are going back home. He’s asking why you can’t come back home and look after them like before. I didn’t know what to say. Sorry.”
“I know it’s late Liam but I think it’s time they knew the truth don’t you? I had a call from social work today about offering me some funding to keep the kids. The mental health nurse called too. The hospital don’t think mam actually swallowed much toilet cleaner, if any at all, but she’s clearly poorly and will be in hospital a while. No-one has managed to speak to dad yet apparently, though the hospital confirmed he never left mam’s side until she was finally admitted to a ward at 2:40 in the morning. He hasn’t even called me today to check on his own children. I can only assume he’s been told the boys are with me. I’ll go speak to the boys now. They are old enough now to understand.”
As Megan goes to talk to her brothers in my tiny spare room I strip off down to my underwear and sit on the edge of my bed gazing at Yasmin in just the light of the bedside lamp. I think about Lauren and the fact she’s pregnant with my child. Whatever I feel for her I refuse to abandon my baby. No child ever deserves to be abandoned by the very people who created them. I don’t even know who my own father even is and now my mum is dead too. Even my amazing aunt has left me. The circumstances might be different but I can so feel for Anthony and Rory.
The problem is I am most definitely not the aunt Ella type. I don’t have a lovely house, a stable job, financial security and a strong faith to see me through. I’m Liam Jude, the man who gets abused by his ex, finds out she’s pregnant with his child, who runs away to another country using money he stole and who now makes a living picking up other people’s rubbish. A man who fell in love with a girl who pissed herself in a laundrette and who now has three children, who are not even related to him, living in his flat when any day he could have some foreign lorry driver turn up wanting the room back he rents from him because he needed cash so bad to pay his rent and feed himself. The man who has been relying on a bloody food bank to get by but now suddenly has a full family living with him needing fed. A man with a police record, a maxed out credit card and debt that he can’t afford. A man with a floundering faith in the midst of deep grief.
A man whose very surname matches the patron saint of desperate situations. A man who on his first day in Ireland went to the same shop three times because he had no idea what he even needed to look after himself for one day!
How the fuck can a man like that deal with all this? |
Chapter 287
Megan
Getting back after the walk things get a little tricky as I need Anthony’s help to get back inside with Yasmin asleep in the buggy. Normally a reserved quiet lad he acts quite out of character when I ask him to take the bottom of the buggy for me so we can lift it up the high steps. Rory, being Rory, then cheeks me too which makes me angry. I’m going out of my way to look after them both and this is how they treat me?
Once inside Anthony rushes straight to the bathroom and after I’ve went myself after him he does come and apologise at least. I should cut him some slack I guess though we’re all thirsty, hungry and tired. I make the boys a drink and offer them a piece of fruit while I start to think ahead to dinner while I make myself a cuppa. I’ve not heard from Liam so I assume he’ll be home as usual. When he does come in the boys are very animated on the Xbox, Yasmin hasn’t long woken and after a drink of milk she’s crawling all around the living room winding her brothers up while I attempt to prepare another meal. I just want to talk to my boyfriend, get a little of his time and attention, but before I even get to ask about his day his phone rings and he’s lost in conversation with someone. I can’t even make out what he’s saying over the noise of my brothers in the room next door as I wonder wether having my brothers here will actually work. We’re tripping over each other, what will I do when I need to work next week when the McGintley’s return from Scotland, and where will we find the money needed to feed everyone and buy all that two growing boys need? They can’t remain sleeping on a futon and an air bed for much longer.
When Rory moans he doesn’t like the chicken and leek pie I’ve spend ages making I want to cry. How ungrateful can he get? I’m glad of an excuse to bath Yasmin, who thankfully loved dinner but who shared it exuberantly with her full face and hands as I struggled feeding her while trying to eat myself standing at the kitchen counter. She urgently needs a high chair but there’s just nowhere to put one even if we did have the money. I open a couple of tins of rice pudding which Liam and the boys like so much and Rory even asks for more. With him not eating much of his dinner Liam smiles at me saying he really should have more so at least he has something in his stomach. Yeah, thanks for that Liam! I’ll do without shall I as the only amount left was actually mine but I hadn’t had a minute to get it due to feeding Yasmin! I have to look away as Liam pours it into Rory’s bowl and I once again want to cry. What’s wrong with me? I’ve done without so often before so the younger ones could have enough yet tonight it just feels so annoying like I somehow don’t matter any more.
I retreat away to bath Yasmin and read to her, though she’s full of life after a later nap and I end up putting her on the bedroom floor to crawl around and explore while I have a bit of a cry. At least the boys sound quieter and happier in the living room with Liam, though I have no idea what they are doing. It takes over an hour before Yasmin finally settles enough to sleep as I get frustrated at her and then lie beside her fully clothed on the bed stroking her hair and apologising over and over. None of this is her fault. None of it at all.
I must dose off a bit myself as the next I know Liam pops in to tell me that Rory is asking to go home. He’s ten. It’s time he knew the truth. If dad thinks he’s old enough to go to the Easter vigil then he’s obviously old enough to know exactly why I can’t go home too. I don’t want to frighten him, or Anthony, but I can’t let him naively go on thinking his mam will one day get out of hospital and all will be great. If only life was like that! It’s time the boys had a reality check as I climb off the bed and go to the room they are squashed in for a second night.
I knock the door of the room and open it slowly. Anthony sits up on the futon looking at me anxiously and Rory sits upright on the air bed right at my feet.
“Can I come in?”
Rory nods and Anthony remains silent as I step onto the air bed and almost fall onto the end of the futon sitting down on the end of it with my feet at the end of Rory’s airplane duvet on the air bed.
“Liam tells me you want to go home Rory?”
He nods anxiously.
“I want mam home, and dad, and Theresa, and you and Yasmin. Why can’t it go back to how it was? I don’t want to sleep here. I want back home.”
“I know Rory. You do know why you are here though, don’t you? You know that mam is really sick. You know that dad has so much to think about with mam and work that he can’t be home for you and Anthony. Theresa has a new job now. She’ll come back to see you both when she can but her job is in Belfast now and it’s too far to travel everyday so she lives there now just like Niamh and Iain. You see them in summer and at Christmas and at other occasions don’t you? It’ll be the same with Theresa. You know Shaun works and is married now and Lilly works too. But you see them every Sunday at chapel. Aisling isn’t well but you’ll see her soon too and then you’ll have a new niece or nephew one day soon too. It’s not that we don’t all love you both loads it’s just that when people grow up they do other things and move on. That’s what will happen with you both one day when you’re finished at school.”
Rory interrupts me before I get to finish.
“But why can’t you and Yasmin come back home? You are not married or having a baby or at university or have to move for your job. You are just here in Bangor but you left us. Shaun said it’s because we were bad and you hate us.”
I can feel the tears again coming easily as I openly cry in front of my brothers.
“Oh Rory that couldn’t be further from the truth! You really want to know why I left home? Well you know when mam was in hospital before? Well the people at the hospital wanted to make sure she would get better when she came home so they put some rules in place. You understand that don’t you? Well one of those rules was that mam wasn’t to be the one looking after you and Anthony or even Yasmin. You know Yasmin is special don’t you? I’ve told you before about her Down syndrome haven’t I? Well Yasmin probably won’t go to Saint Christopher’s like the rest of us. She’ll probably need to go to a school for children who find learning harder, maybe one like Chelsea goes to. She probably wont get a job like Theresa or Shaun or Lilly or Aisling or Harrison. She’ll need a lot more help as she gets older and need hospital check ups for her heart and things. Mam isn’t well enough for that and dad isn’t able to do it because he works a lot so Shaun and mam and dad wanted Yasmin to be looked after by someone else who could give her what she needs. They wanted to do something called put her into care. They wanted to give her away.”
“Is that what will happen to us too now?”
“We’ll that’s why I took Yasmin and why I have you both here. I love you both so much and I know it’s not home here and you miss all your stuff and your own home but for right now I need you both to know that you are here because I am determined we are family and we stick together. That’s what us Murphy’s do, isn’t it? We look out for each other. As soon as mam and dad can look after you again you’ll be back home with them. I promise you both that.”
“But why can’t you come home Megan? You can look after me and Anthony and Yasmin there. Please Meg. I liked it when you looked after us. I really missed you last week. I thought you’d never come back.”
I’m a shrivelling wreck when suddenly Anthony pulls nearer me and throws his bony arms around me on the unsteady futon.
“I’m sorry about how I was earlier Meg. I had to go to the toilet so bad that was all. We do appreciate you. Thank you for looking after us.”
“I know Anthony and I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have shouted at either of you. None of this is your fault. But it’s getting late and even though it’s the school holidays Liam still has work tomorrow so how about you both get some sleep and we can talk more tomorrow. I love you both to the moon and back. It’ll all work out, you’ll see. Remember to say your prayers before bed. Sweet dreams boys.”
I leave them to go to the kitchen. I really need a cup of tea. I can’t stop the tears. There’s no sign of Liam. He’s obviously avoiding me too. What if keeping my family together means losing Liam? I take my tea into the living room and see my rosary beads sitting on the windowsill out of reach of Yasmin. Oh God I’ve not even been saying the Lord’s Prayer every night like Father Reilly told me too! No wonder all this is happening to me. What sort of Catholic goes to confession only to forget to do their penance? Now I’ll have to confess that too when I next go, but when will I ever get the chance to now with three children to look after? I’m only 22. I’m not sure I can even do this anymore. |
Chapter 288
Liam
I don’t remember Megan coming to bed on Wednesday night. Thursday morning she seems a little off with me, though I can’t think why. I kiss her and Yasmin goodbye and head to work wishing with all my heart that I didn’t have to go. I text Megan as often as I can but every reply is brief. I’m hoping she’s just tired, perhaps worried about her mum or just a bit overwhelmed with having the boys and Yasmin to care for.
Work is bloody awful yet again. Aidan clearly hates me and I’m lucky if he says a handful of words to me the entire shift! There’s a heavy atmosphere in the estate too with new graffiti hating popped up overnight that I don’t understand. It reminds me a bit of gang tags I’ve seen back home as I have this foreboding feeling that something awful is about to kick off and I want out of this area pronto. Of course that’s impossible though as I pick up more needles at a bus stop and crisp packets jammed in railings. Yet again Aidan chooses the bench at the shops to sit for lunch and yet again we are watched by a group of teenage boys. I swear there’s more of them today too. Just to make matters worse we get the first shower of rain in Bangor all month and by the time we are eventually picked up I’m fed up, tired and soaked to the skin.
On arrival back at the headquarters Shaun Murphy is standing by the dreaded fountain under a branded council umbrella waiting for us as he calls the entire crew up to his office. As is usual by the end of my shift I need a piss but that’s not my immediate concern as we file into the building out the rain and walk quietly up the stairs to the cleansing department floor. We are all seated in a corridor as Shaun picks up a clipboard and calls the first name. None of us have any idea what’s going on as there’s muttering, moaning and general unrest which immediately stops as Shaun turns and shouts at everyone to be quiet. I text Megan saying what’s happening and she texts back a simple ok with two kisses. I cling on to those kisses really hoping everything between us is ok as I wait patiently as the first person leaves and another name is called. Shaun’s assistant comes over offering us all a tea or coffee. I’m wet, cold and tired so I accept a tea even though I already need the toilet.
I’m the last name called, which actually doesn’t surprise me at all, as I watch the clock tick anxiously wishing I was back home and worrying about Megan and her brothers and Yasmin. I widen my legs and put my head down like my mum told me to do as a child as I feel the panic rising and me head starting to spin. I mustn’t run.I need to face this, whatever this even is.
Finally I’m called through as the room seems to move around me and I fear I might vomit.
“Ah Liam Jude. I had such high hopes for you too. Nothing but a disappointment though aren’t you? Let’s start with the official stuff shall we? Attendance: less than 70%. Unacceptable…”
“But sir that was only due to a death in the family. I understood that was authorised absence.”
“Do NOT interrupt Liam! This isn’t up for discussion. Next: timekeeping: 85%.”
“But I haven’t ever been late!”
“It says here the van drove along the shore on March 17th and neither you nor your colleague that day were there. You were spotted running down Belfast road coming from the direction of the library. I also have it on good authority from a very reliable witness that you were late covering the Broomfield estate on Sunday 5th April. I gave you overtime that day thinking you would be reliable and trustworthy too. Then you left yesterday before you were formally dismissed. I often watch you coming out of the minibus and rushing off like you have just been released from prison rather than waiting until you have been properly seen and noted. It looks to me like you don’t actually want your job here. Next: team working: 60%. Being out of sight of your colleague, distracting them when they are working, asking irrelevant questions about certain areas of the town or asking to divert to places for personal gain.”
“What?”
“You heard me! Aidan McGafferty hasn’t had one mark against him in all his years of service until he worked with you. Ryan Allen says you consistently ignore the others on the minibus coming back and Roger says you were asking about his personal life when you should have been working. I have no choice Liam but to issue you with a second venal warning. One more and you are out. You understand?
Oh and before you go…I might be willing to forget all about this conversation should you say, drop this nonsense with a certain Miss Murphy, who we both happen to know. My family means everything to me, especially my mam. You call it off with you-know-who and have her return home with that baby so mam can come home from hospital and I may even see fit to offer you more overtime or even get you trained up in say, refuse collections. Fancy yourself as a bin man with regular shifts, earlier finish, better money and every bank holiday guaranteed off? What do you say? Have a think about it Liam. Do the right thing for once in your life!”
I leave the office to the door being slammed behind me. It’s probably for the best as I could easily lynch Shaun Murphy right now had that door not been in the way. How on earth can someone as lovely and sweet like Megan ever be related to such a bastard as Shaun Murphy? I walk professionally out the council building the race home to my flat as quickly as possible. I just hope I am welcomed at home much more than I am at work right now! Above all else I also hope the bloody bathroom is free. God I have to piss like crazy! |
Chapter 289
Megan
It’s very late before I finally go to bed on Wednesday because seeing my beads makes me feel compelled to pray the full rosary to somehow try and feel right with God again. The problem is that I’m so tired I keep forgetting which bead I’m on and have to start from the beginning all over again! Then I have to do the Lord’s Prayer too. By the time I finally climb into bed my mind is so wound up I barely sleep. Yasmin stirs when Liam gets up, one of the many pitfalls of her being in the same bed I guess, and seeing Liam off to work feels such a huge effort. At least the boys don’t wake until after 9, which although handy for giving me some time to myself it’s also a bit of a bind as I can’t shower until Anthony is able to look after Yasmin for me since whenever I put her down she’s crying today. I think she’s really missing Liam.
I make some porridge for us all praying it fills the boys up because although we seemed to have a lot of food from Father O’Hara at the weekend it’s fast depleting and it’s still days before Liam is paid and even then he has rent to pay and other commitments. It feels like I, and my family, are such a huge burden to Liam and in my state of exhaustion, combined with Rory’s relentless nagging to go home, I begin to wonder if it might actually be best if I just go home with the boys and Yasmin. After all the reason I left is no longer such an imminent threat as social work already agreed that for the time being I can still care for Yasmin. Maybe Rory is right and I should be home caring for my brothers and baby sister and then mam might be able to come home? Maybe I was totally selfish leaving? I know that’s what my youngest brother feels anyway.
It’s clear the boys have got into bad habits even in the week I have been away as they lounge about playing on the Xbox in their underwear after breakfast leaving me to clean up and look after Yasmin alone. In frustration I sort out the baby then dump her with her brothers while I finally go for a shower. Just as I pick up a towel from the bedroom I get a text from Liam but I need to pee and I am scared to leave the baby for long so I text back quickly then run to the bathroom. It’s after midday before the boys are finally both washed and dressed as they argue over games and levels and other stuff and object to Yasmin crawling around them while I try to get on with making some soup using what I can find in the cupboards. Rory moans about that too saying he hates vegetables and I shout at him that the baby is putting him to shame eating what’s given to her! It’s not like me but I’m exhausted and fed up and not in the mood for his grumps when I am doing the best I can.
When I lay Yasmin on the bed for her nap I end up falling asleep myself only being woken by another text from Liam which I reply to quickly again so I can shut my eyes once more. They are just so heavy and my body is so weak. I just need a nap. Rory wakes me, and his sister, up by storming into the room moaning that Anthony isn’t giving him a turn at something and I wake to the baby crying, the boys arguing again and my head thumping. I could seriously scream! In the midst of all the commotion as I try to make a bottle of milk for Yasmin and play peacekeeper to my brothers my phone beeps yet again! Talk about bad timing! Now Liam has been held up at work and doesn’t know when he’ll be home. Great! I can barely hold my phone let alone manage to text him with the screaming baby in my arms and it takes all my effort just to write ok with two added kisses.
I sit down with Yasmin to give her her bottle as a stray tear runs down my cheek. Anthony somehow notices as he quickly turns off the Xbox and looks at me anxiously.
“Sorry we woke you Megan. Are you ok?”
“I’m really tired and I have a thumping headache. Thank you for at least asking.”
Rory looks at Anthony in disgust at the computer being turned off then to me as if expecting me to order him to turn it back on.
“What about you go play with Lego for a bit Rory? I tell you what how about once Yasmin is settled I maybe text one of your friends parents who came to your party. Maybe you could go to one of their houses tomorrow for a while and play? How does that sound?”
“Callum! Can I go to Callum’s? He’s got a trampoline in his back garden and everything. Can I take the nerf guns from home too?”
“Let’s wait and see if Callum’s mum agrees first shall we? Now how about you go find the lego or something quietly first. Ok?”
“Can I get a drink first please?”
“I’ll help him if you want.”
“Thanks Anthony.”
“Can I get a drink too?”
“Of course. Help yourself”.
By the time Liam comes racing in Yasmin is happily playing on the living room floor, Rory is quiet at the kitchen table playing and Anthony is watching TV quietly in the living room and keeping an eye on his sister. I hear the front door open but don’t see Liam come through so I call through to Anthony next door. He goes to check and then pops into the kitchen to say the bathroom door is closed so he thinks that’s where Liam is. For the first time that day I smile thinking that my Liam must have not had a chance to piss all day and he must have come in bursting. My thoughts are confirmed as he finally comes into the kitchen saying hi to the boys and kissing me and lightly hugging me from behind while I cook as he laughs and apologises for going straight to the loo. He turns to Rory smiling.
“Geez I feel so much better after that piss! You wouldn’t believe how long I was needing that. I honestly thought I was about to burst running home. Has Megan told you I don’t have anywhere to go all shift? Almost had an accident so many times.”
I start putting food on the kitchen counter as my younger brother freely talks to my boyfriend behind me.
“I know what that’s like you know. The toilets at Saint Christopher’s are rank and my teacher doesn’t let people go in class time so I just hold on until I get home. I’m always really bursting by home time.”
“It’s not a great habit but sometimes needs must eh. So you had a good day?”
“I fell out with Anthony, woke Yasmin up and made Megan cry.”
“Oh dear that doesn’t sound too good,”
I feel his body behind me as he hugs me from behind again and kisses my neck. It feels good but I’m dishing up hot food so I can’t retaliate.
“It’s been a bit of a long day here. We’re getting short of food again. I’ve made what I can and I just hope it’s enough for us all. I’ll heat one of the jars for Yasmin so that’s one less at least. I look at the plates in front of me with a few sausages, some boiled potatoes, some fried chicken, a bowl of cooked vegetables, sone rice, some pasta in tomato sauce made from a packet and a bowl of meatballs from a tin that I’ve just heated in the microwave. Anthony is now standing in the doorway holding his baby sister.
“That looks amazing Meg. Look Rory, it’s like a buffet! How cool is that!”
Liam leans over to kiss me lightly on the lips.
“You’ve done amazing darling. You always do. Right boys how about we let Megan get some first tonight then we can eat what’s left eh. Oh and don’t worry about the dishes. I’m sure us lads can see to them can’t we boys.”
I open a baby jar, pour some into a bowl and heat it for Yasmin as Liam hands me a dinner plate.
“Have something to eat Megan. Anthony can sit in the lounge with me tonight to eat and I’ll feed Yasmin. You eat then have a rest. You look exhausted honey.”
I put some bits of food on my plate obediently though I don’t feel particularly hungry. What about tomorrow? What I am supposed to do to feed everyone tomorrow? Does Liam even understand the pressure of looking after everyone? I really need to get money from somewhere and quickly! |
Chapter 290
Liam
The week drags on with another awful day in the Kilcooley estate on Friday with rain on and off between sunshine where even the rainbows seem rubbish behind the derelict and ramshackle houses and blocks of flats. Aidan still isn’t really talking although when I find a young lad lying in a wooded area he does at least help me call the police and ambulance. He texts the office to explain why we are delayed as we give brief statements to the police before carrying on as if nothing happened. I have no idea if the young man was high from drugs, drunk, ill, or injured but I don’t have too much time to think about it as we then run late and have to walk quickly to cover all the area allocated to us. After yesterday I now know that Aidan clearly can’t be trusted so I am even more guarded around him making for a very frosted atmosphere even on the minibus coming back.
Megan at least seems to be brighter going by the replies to my texts and I am amazed to come home to find she’s made fish and chips for us all. I smell it as soon as I walk in and even though I need a pee I make a big effort to greet Megan first and comment on the amazing dinner she’s dishing up. She smiles saying she checked her bank and found the money promised by social work had gone through so she walked the kids to Lidl and the boys chose fish and chips and mushy peas. I look over at Anthony and smile.
“Good choice! It smells delicious.”
“I’m just dishing it up if you want to wash your hands and sit down. I bought some diluting juice too for the boys but I can make you a tea or coffee if you’d prefer honey?”
“Wow! A cup of tea sounds amazing!”
I quickly wash my hands at the kitchen sink then sit down in the living room watching Yasmin standing holding onto the coffee table with one hand and exploring a toy with the other. I gaze at her amazed at this new development. I probably should run to the toilet before eating but just as I’m about to go Anthony comes in with my dinner and I decide that I’ll delay going until after my meal. Megan comes in soon after with her own meal, a bowl and a plastic spoon for Yasmin. She sits Yasmin on the floor on a towel with the bowl in front of her and Rory pops through with her little tippy cup too. Megan smiles over at me as she talks between bites of food.
“I thought I’d try her like this tonight and see how she goes. This way we at least get to eat ours while it’s hot. How was your day at work then?”
I sigh. This is the first she’s asked all week and I’m not sure where to begin. Looking through to check the boys aren’t listening I lean forwards while eating and update her on the latest with Shaun and how I am now just one strike away from losing our main income. I don’t want her to worry but she needs to know, especially now she has her brothers to look after too.
“That sounds exactly like Shaun. He called me today too. Apparently dad only told him last night that the boys are now with me too. I would say that would explain the stuff at work yesterday but he wouldn’t have known then I guess. Do you think you’ll look for another job then now? I honestly don’t see him changing, do you?”
That’s when I confess about Shaun’s passing comments yesterday and his implied threats. Megan sighs as she cuts some more fish and swallows it.
“You know I half expected him to just turn up here today. He must know where we are surely? He can easily get your address from work.”
“That thought did cross my mind too. I don’t know if it’s just because he won’t leave work or wether he’s just all talk and no action but I’m glad you are all ok. Has today been any better here?”
Megan glances into the kitchen then down to the baby as she chews a chip on her fork before answering.
“Better than yesterday though I really need to talk to you when the boys go to bed. I had a text from the McGintley’s today. They arrive home tomorrow and they are wondering wether I would be available on Sunday for a few hours to work. It would be great to see Chelsea again and we really need the money to be honest. I need to work out something for the boys next week too with them going back to school. I have an idea but need to see how you feel. I was going to phone dad tonight too, maybe as soon as we’ve finished dinner before he goes to the hospital. The boys really want to know how mam is and if they can go home at the weekend. I know dad will want to be with mam for visiting but he might want to see the boys in between and he’ll definitely want them at chapel on Sunday. It would be good for the boys to see him too I think. Oh and that guy from social work called. He wants to pop in to visit early next week to see how things are. I’m really worried about that with the sleeping arrangements as they are. Plus I was wondering if you’d heard from that lodger you had? What was his name again?”
“Flavius. It’s hard to really understand him with his lack of English but I haven’t heard from him since before we left for England. I’ve been thinking he might just suddenly turn up expecting the room too. This is a bit of a nightmare isn’t it?”
I look down at Yasmin who has actually eaten a lot of her food, albeit using her fingers, and her face, clothes and the towel are all pretty messy. I don’t know what the answer is for the boys for school, though I can at least help out to let Megan work Sunday for a few hours if nothing else. I reassure her of that as I take my empty plate through to the kitchen and find the boys almost finished too.
“Enjoy that?”
“It was better than the chip shop! We have pudding too!”
“Pudding? Wow. That sounds good.”
“It’s ice creams!”
“Now that sounds amazing.”
“Can we have them now?”
I assume the tub is in the freezer though when I open it I can see any tub of ice cream anywhere. What does happen though is the cold air quite suddenly hits my body causing my need to pee to increase very suddenly and powerfully. Anthony stands up from the table and comes over to help me as I automatically cross my legs and try to hide how bad I need to piss. He open a drawer and hands me a packet of Lidl own cornettos with chocolate sauce. I open it and hand both boys one before taking the packet through to the living room where Megan and Yasmin are just finishing eating.
“I believe these are for pudding. Would you like one?”
Megan unwraps one and hands it to Yasmin who shakes with excitement. She then takes one for herself noticing I can’t really stand still. She then beckons me towards her chair with her hand.
“You ok?”
I lean down and whisper in her ear.
“I haven’t been for a piss since this morning. Really need to go.”
She smiles up at me with a twinkle in her eye.
“Wouldn’t want your cornetto to melt now would you?”
I take out the last ice cream and take the empty packet back to the kitchen to put it in the bin. Looking over at the boys it feels good to see them smiling and chatting to each other as I slip back to the living room and sit down with one hand over my crotch squirming on the two seater sofa while I lick my ice cream. If it wasn’t for the kids being here I’m pretty sure I’d be having a lovely night with my Megan after tea. Maybe if we can get the kids sorted or the boys can play in the room that might just happen? Or maybe the reality of caring for three children will once again be too exhausting and we’ll be lucky to get a fly kiss and cuddle before we fall asleep.
The freezing cold pudding makes me shiver and I squeeze myself and wriggle even more in the seat as Megan sits opposite licking her ice cream provocatively knowing exactly what she’s doing to me. Three kids here or not she’s so sexy and adorable and I could easily fuck her right now…well after I piss that is! |
Chapter 291
Megan
Friday morning there’s so little in for breakfast as I toast the last of the bread for the boys, make some boiled egg for Yasmin and settle for just a cup of tea for myself. The fridge is bare, the cupboards have very little left and there’s now no bread, or sugar and very little milk. As I drink my tea standing at the kitchen counter I pray quietly for a miracle then wonder about contacting Father o’Hara. It seems very cheeky though considering how much he gave us just last weekend so I decide against it, at least until I have used up every other option possible. I concentrate instead on getting Yasmin washed and dressed and putting the washing machine on so the boys have some clean clothes. They didn’t bring much with them and what they have left is getting smaller by the minute. I ask Anthony to bring me the towels from the bathroom after his shower so I can wash them too and as he does so he quietly mentions that he just used the last of the toilet roll.
I have to do something now. It’s reached desperation point.
I go to text Liam to see if he has any ideas but just before I do I have this crazy thought to check my bank online. I have to look three times before it finally sinks it: there’s actually money in my account! I assume it’s the emergency grant thing from social work but whatever it is it’s most definitely a miracle as I tell the boys to get ready as we are going out! At first Rory complains until I explain that it’s not another walk like last time and that we’re only going to Lidl. As an added incentive I even tell my brothers that they can choose dinner for once, provided it’s not too dear! That excites Rory enough to find socks and shoes and a jacket as I get Yasmin organised and Anthony kindly humps the buggy down the steep outside stairs.
I manage to pick up everything we need in the shop and the boys settle on some frozen fish and chips for dinner and a tin of mushy peas. I pick up a pizza with todays date on that’s reduced for lunch, to Rory’s utter delight, and between what we can load under the buggy and what we carry between us we somehow get it all back safely to the flat. Liam texts a few times and I text him back easier than on Thursday. The boys are thrilled when I sit the pizza on the coffee table in the living room as we sit on the floor sharing it between us as we drink diluting juice and talk. I can’t answer all the boys questions but between us we come up with a way the boys can get to school and hopefully get some sleep in their own beds too.
To cheer me up even more I get a text from the McGintley’s saying they have missed me loads and that they are heading back from Scotland on Saturday morning on the ferry. I can’t wait to see them again and get a small part of normality back in my life. The photos they send of Chelsea really make me smile and when they ask me if I can work Sunday for a few hours I am thrilled. I just hope Liam doesn’t mind watching Yasmin and my brothers for me. The money will come in so handy too.
When the washing machine is finished I walk about the flat hanging things up to dry anywhere I can and when I pop into the tiny room the boys are sleeping in to tidy up and see if I can hang some things up on the back of the door or the radiator I suddenly remember that Liam used to have a lodger. I have no idea why I never remembered this before but I remind myself to mention it to Liam. I have no idea when he’s next due to stay but whenever it is it’ll be a huge problem while the boys are still here. Anthony calls me while I’m hanging a pair of joggers over the top of the door to say my mobile is ringing. It’s the guy from social work asking how Anthony and Rory are doing and saying that he’d really like to visit to check up on everyone and see if I need any more support. It all sounds great until he says he wants to come next week! He can’t see the boys sleeping arrangements and the tiny room. Regardless how well cared for they are even I know that seeing that will be a huge no. I come off the phone anxious but determined not to let the boys see.
When Liam texts to say he’s in the minibus on the way back to the HQ I start cooking dinner while the boys keep an eye on Yasmin. She’s loving having them around to entertain her and play with her, though I think the boys do get a bit fed up with her at times. I’m so happy to see Liam home just as I’m dishing up dinner. I try a new idea of Yasmin feeding herself with a bowl on the floor on a towel and she makes me so proud at how much she actually gets in her mouth and eats. She seems especially keen on the oven chips but less enamoured by the mushy peas that end up all round her hands and face instead.
The boys must tell Liam about pudding as he comes in with the ice creams as I take one for Yasmin then for myself. Looking at him to say thank you I realise right away that something isn’t quite right. His facial expression, his constant moving and fidgeting, and the way his legs bounce and squirm indicate clearly that he’s uncomfortable. I beckon him over and my heart races as he whispers what’s wrong. He hasn’t been to the bathroom all day! God he must be so desperate! Just the thought makes my body warm and wet and watching how he wriggles on the seat holding between his legs is mesmerising and incredibly sexy. Oh God how I adore that man so much!
I can’t help but call to the boys in the kitchen while staring adoringly at Liam.
“Tell you what boys since you were so helpful in Lidl how about you both watch some TV when you’re finished your ice cream and Liam and I will wash up tonight.”
Rory stands at the kitchen doorway as I notice Liam turn away from him so he can’t see what he’s doing as my brother delightedly asks if it’s ok to watch Horrible History on CBBC. I nod as he finishes his ice cream and heads back in followed closely by his older brother. I clean Yasmin up with baby wipes and take away her towel and dishes while I wink at Liam and nod towards the kitchen. He stands and follows me like an obedient pet, though he does look at me anxiously, step very close to me and whisper in my ear.
“May I just go to the bathroom first beautiful lady?”
I don’t know if it’s the warm dampness in my pants from being so turned on or the fact I have been so busy I haven’t went in a while but standing up in the cool kitchen I realise rather suddenly that I too really need to pee now. Looking through to make sure the boys are ok watching TV and Yasmin is safe I kiss Liam on the cheek and wink.
“You’re not the only one wanting to pee honey but these dishes won’t wash themselves will they. If you wash I’ll dry and put away. How does that sound?” |
Chapter 292
Megan has other plans, that much is abundantly clear, as she wickedly shouts to the boys in the kitchen that her and I will do the dishes and they can have some time watching TV. Washing up is the very last thing I want to do right now and the very thought of running water, getting my hands wet and standing in front of a sink horrifies and terrifies me. I just need to piss so badly!
It suddenly sounds so much more appealing though when Megan whispers seductively that she too needs to pee. Now that’s exciting! Even though my bladder aches to be emptied just the thought of being alone in a room, yes even a kitchen with running water, with Megan when she has to pee thrills me so much I can already feel the effect on my dick. The problem is that Megan seems to delay us going to the kitchen so long that I really struggle to get hard as my body pressurises me so badly to let out the excess water it’s been carrying around for far too long! As much as I want some entertainment and fun with Megan standing waiting while she cleans up Yasmin and chats to her brothers is almost too much. I practically beg her to let me go the the loo before we do the dishes but she just taps my bottom cheekily and lightly pushes me through to the small kitchen.
Out of sight of her brothers it becomes very obvious that Megan wasn’t just saying she had to pee as she crosses her legs and squirms around scraping left over food into the bin and putting all the used plates and cutlery and glasses by the sink ready for me to wash. I glance next door to check the boys aren’t looking before squeezing myself and pressing my knees tight together. We must look an absolute sight both squirming and jogging around in the small kitchen clearly both very needy to pee. The only way I can even think of getting through this is to somehow get hard as I press myself against the kitchen counter and stare obviously at my wonderful wife to be. Watching her wring a clean cloth out and stand leaning over my small kitchen table wiping the table clean is absolutely glorious as I stare at her wiggling bum and her bouncing legs. It takes me right back instantly to a time in Tesco when she leaned into the freezers looking for ice cream and I stood in the shop utterly lost in sexual heaven watching her same legs bouncing and jigging and squirming in a busy shop. I can’t stop myself as I step towards her from behind and whisper alluringly in her ear.
“You have the sexiest bum and legs when you are bursting you know!”
She turns and winks at me and smiles. That smile that melts me to putty in her hands and those eyes that draw me like magnets. The epitome of beauty and wonder in every single way. I rub myself through my jeans as another urgent wave of pressure takes over my body and I fear I might actually burst before I’ve even washed a singe plate.
“Urghhh. I need to wash up so fast! I’m almost soaking myself here babe.”
She smiles as her cheeks blush and her eyes sparkle. Her legs still moving all the time and her hand wedged unladylike pressing the front of her loose midi skirt into her crotch she looks right into my eyes as I look back into hers knowing she’s not just desperate to wee but clearly very aroused too.
“You’d better wash up fast or you won’t be the only one soaked here. Geez I’m so full!”
There’s no time to waste as I hobble to the kitchen sink and start running the hot tap ready to fill a bowl of warm water to wash up. I flick a little water towards Megan like a naughty little kid as I giggle despite being doubled over holding myself. The sound and feel of the water is absolute torture as I joke back to my woman, my beautiful Megan, that I’m so thankful there’s only five of us in the flat and not her entire family. She steps closer to me teasingly pressing on my rock hard bladder as she kisses my cheek and chuckles.
“Now that would have been torture wouldn’t it. Maybe I should try that at the next Murphy wedding or christening or first communion. My own chief bursting dishwasher at my service.”
I quickly check through the doorway to make sure no-one is nearby as I lean down and nibble her neck before pulling my head back up and replying.
“I’d be your own wet trousers dishwasher in that case. Sorry but I really need to get on. I’m literally about to burst!”
I turn the hot tap off and add a little washing up liquid in before adding some dishes to the sink as I jig around in front of the sink and draw breath between my teeth as the urge to just let go gets more and more tempting by the second. I push firmly against the counter again as I feel Megan’s body close behind mine as she stands with her hands wrapped around me as I know exactly where her hand is heading! It feels so wonderful having her fondle me through my jeans as her hand then slides subtly upwards and I have this sudden realisation that my girl isn’t just content feeling me through my clothing! Sure enough she undoes my jeans and unzips me, all from behind me, as I feel her own body squirm and thrust against my back and bottom. The next I feel her gentle tickling hand caressing my testicles and penis through my trunks as I close my eyes and do my best to wash up blindfolded. This is so sexy, so good, so thrilling, not only knowing our bladders might give in any second but the added thought that Rory or Anthony could walk in at any time.
The voice behind me speaking gruffly, desperately, urgently, combined with her touch and feeling her breath on the back of my neck is making me hard very quickly despite my serious need to pee.
“I really need a pee pee Liam. In fact I’m absolutely bursting. I’m not sure how much longer I can wait darling. Oh baby I really do need to go ever so badly. What would you say if I had a little accident honey? I think a little dribble just leaked already. Oh boy I have to wee wee so much. I don’t think I can hold this. Can’t you go any faster washing up sweetheart? It’s just I have a bit of a problem here. My poor little urethra just aches to go so much. I’m ever so desperate you know.”
I grip the washing up brush so tightly my knuckles almost go white as I can feel my body shaking with need as Megan strokes me and fondles me from behind as I gasp scrubbing the dinner plates briskly and standing them on the drying rack as I moan quietly getting closer and closer to climax. The very thought of Megan holding, leaking, and her vagina throbbing under her skirt is sending adrenaline and testosterone surging through every vein in my body. Fuck I’m as hard as iron now! I grab the glasses and quickly wash them before rinsing them in warm running water hearing Megan moaning behind me as the water runs. I only have the baby’s bowl and the cutlery to go but as close as I am to finishing the dishes I’m even closer to ejaculating right in my own kitchen!
“Almost done. Got to keep going just a bit longer.”
“Oh but I’m not sure I can wait any longer! Oh Liam I can feel it about to come! There’s little dribbles running down my leg already, tickling my hairs and teasing me. It’s so warm and wet and…lovely. Oh my love you’ve just not been quick enough and I think it’s going to be too late I’m afraid. Can’t you wash up any quicker? Is something distracting you?”
I drop the plastic baby bowl into the water in urgency. I can’t take any more. My body can’t bare the suspense, the tension, the need, a second longer. I turn, grabbing Megan’s skirt furiously as my hand slips under it to fondle the wet crotch of her knickers feeling her distended pounding urethra thump against my fingers and her firm clit obvious even through the material. Megan gasps as her knees bend slightly as she continues stroking my very erect penis making my body shiver with sexual desire. My finger tips feel it happen in real time as the warmth and wetness soaks through Megan’s knickers, first in a controlled manner but then she yelps quietly as a huge burst drenches my hand, my wrists and my arms as it’s like a river bursting its banks as urine splashes on the floor between her legs. It comes and comes as I can’t resist fondling her wet crotch as she pees and over a litre of fluid bursts from beneath her skirt.
“God you really were desperate sweetie weren’t you!”
She remains silent though as I hope she’s not embarrassed or ashamed in any way by her accident. I hope that what I do next shows her very clearly how fucking amazing she is as I slide my dick out the leg of my trunks and finish what Megan started, unable to control myself regardless of the kids next door, my sticky white semen splashing softly in the puddle of pee on the kitchen floor.
I kiss Meg lightly on the cheek as I push my sticky dick back into my underwear and zip up my jeans. I turn and wash the baby’s bowl and the cutlery and sit them on the drying rack quickly as Megan steps over her puddle and opens a drawer of dish towels to throw a few over the mess. I look pleasingly at her with my puppy dog eyes.
“Please may I please go piss now honey?”
She nods and smiles, her cheeks bright pink and her face glowing. I wish I didn’t have to run but I really really gotta piss! |
Chapter 293
Megan
Friday night is lovely and I feel so much more connected again with Liam, even if I spend most of the evening in wet underwear. The boys, thankfully, don’t argue too much on the Xbox and I mop up my mess without either of them knowing a thing. I even manage to get a quick shower later in the evening as Liam plays some Lego again with my brothers before they go to bed. As I lie in bed with Liam the other side and the baby asleep in the middle Liam tells me quietly how awful his work is just now but tells me not to worry. As I say my prayers before bed, this time not forgetting the Lord’s Prayer, I add in a prayer for him too that God will somehow get him a better job away from the hold of my brother.
On Saturday morning after we’ve all finally woken, eaten, and got washed and dressed, I sit with the boys and Liam with Yasmin playing beside me on the floor as I finally share my thoughts for getting the boys to school. I can see Liam isn’t overly keen on it but I promise him it’s only short term. He reluctantly helps the boys pack after lunch as I call home to speak to dad and let him know too. He sounds so lonely and sad that my heart goes out to him even though I can’t understand why he left his own children to care for themselves. He updates me on mam saying that she’s been put on new medication and that she’s being moved to a smaller specialist hospital hopefully on Monday. Anthony asks to speak to him so I hand the phone to him while he asks if he can go see his man tonight too. I assume dad’s agreed judging by the smile and nod that Anthony gives in return.
The boys are quiet as Liam drives us all back home. I had originally thought of me taking the boys back Sunday after chapel but when dad says Theresa is getting the train through on Sunday morning just to visit mam and give him the morning off to go to chapel and that Anthony can visit with him tonight I agree with Liam that going today will be better. Liam helps me in the Murphy house with all Yasmin’s things as the first thing I see in the living room is her dusty dirty jumperoo against the wall that I pick up, collapse and put in the wheely bin outside. There’s no way my sister is ever going back in that thing ever again!
Liam stays for a coffee as I’m secretly impressed that dad has milk and other supplies in. Dad is sullen, older looking than I remember and pale.
“Have you been eating ok dad?”
He shrugs.
“I’ve been using the canteen at work. That and take always or those microwave meal things. How have the boys been?”
They’ve gone back up to their room, presumably to set up the Xbox and check all their old things are still there.
“They’ve been great. No problem at all.”
Liam, who has Yasmin on his knee holding her tightly, clearly not wanting to let her go, looks at her smiling.
“Yasmin has been amazing too haven’t you sweetie? Little darling.”
Dad doesn’t even look at her, or Liam, as he focusses on the carpet by his feet and mutters under his breath.
“You should keep her you know.”
“What did you say dad?”
He looks at me, his eyes tired and weary, his face drawn and pale and his words faltering yet clear and strong at the same time.
“I said you should keep her. We both know that your mam will never ever be able to really care for her. I’ve had those social work people on the phone. Nosy bloody people. I’ve told Shaun I’m not doing it. I’m not going through with all that stuff they want me to do to put her into…you know. She’s better off with you.”
My eyes catch Liam’s as I see tears bubbling at the base of his eye.
“I promise we’ll look after her dad.”
“I know you will love. You’re a good Catholic girl you are. You will be at chapel tomorrow, won’t you? Bring her too. Saint Mary’s don’t need to know what goes on with us as a family do they? They’ll be too many Murphy’s missing as it is.”
Liam looks at me with a tear running down his cheek still clinging to Yasmin like she must never leave his grasp. He nods and smiles even through his tears.
“We’ll be there dad. Liam, and myself, and Yasmin. We can all walk in together the way you like. In fact we can all walk together from here just how it used to be. You, Liam, me, Anthony, Rory, and the baby. I can even make a fry up before we go just like mam always did. What about that?”
It’s rare my dad cries but as I sit there with both grown men wiping tears and Yasmin, bless her, stroking Liam’s face, I know I have done the right thing. Father Reilly was right. I had to bring Yasmin back in order to keep her. I had to be a good Catholic.
The moment doesn’t last as the boys barge into the living room making dad jump as he wipes his cheeks with his sleeve and acts as normal as possible.
“We’re hungry. When’s dinner?”
Dad automatically looks at me. I am always the one to prepare and cook meals, do the housework, look after the kids. But I don’t live here any more and as a result things need to change, even if no-one wants that. I just shrug. For once I don’t have the answer. For once I don’t feel responsible either.
Liam, who hasn’t said much at all since arriving looks at the boys smiling, his face still streaked with tears.
“Why don’t you both go see what’s in and if you can’t find anything come back and let us know?”
Both boys do exactly that as we hear them clearly opening cupboards, the fridge and the freezer. I’m certain what they will say when they return, and dad and Liam must be too, but Liam is one step ahead as he winks at me then leans towards my dad.
“If you’ve got the money it might be easier to order something. Anthony will probably know how. Let him help. He’s a good lad.”
Rory comes in first his face crestfallen and his demeanour concerned.
“We can’t find anything. There’s nothing in Meg.”
Liam nods towards my dad as even young Rory picks up the fact he ought to be looking towards his father for assistance instead of us. As Anthony walks in quietly and maturely behind his younger brother my dad finally looks at his own sons properly for the first time since we brought them back.
“I haven’t had time to go shopping. Sorry boys. I was thinking maybe we could get Chinese takeaway tonight? What do you reckon? Maybe if I give Meg some money she can get you some cereal for the morning? In fact she was just talking about doing a fry up like your mam always used to do before chapel. After dinner Rory, if Liam and Meg are ok with it, how about you go to Tesco with them while Anthony and I visit your mam? Anthony, son, do you think you could show me how to order a takeaway on my phone? I was just picking things up on my way back from hospital before and Meg always did the ordering before. Thanks son.”
“Can I get prawn crackers too dad? And those chicken things in batter? And chips? And can I get a can of juice too?”
I stand up and move closer to Liam putting my arm on his shoulder and talking quietly to him while the boys talk to their dad eagerly as Anthony takes his dad’s phone to help him order food.
“I bought some baby food in the changing bag. I can heat something from there for Yasmin. You will stay for dinner won’t you? I don’t want you to go.”
He leans closer to me clutching my arm.
“Of course I’ll stay. I’m in no rush to go back to my empty flat anyway. It’ll be awful without you and this little one there tonight.”
“It’s not for long sweetheart. My family need me.”
“I know. And I love you so much. You reckon your dad might order me a curry? I could so go one right now.”
“Anthony add a curry with fried rice for Liam will you and sweet and sour chicken with boiled rice for me. Thanks”
“You want me to add anything for Yasmin?”
“Don’t worry about her. I’ll sort her. Thanks for asking though. Rory you want to come help me get some cutlery and plates ready at the table. Good boy.” |
Chapter 294
Liam
It’s feels so good to still have that element of fun with Megan despite all our new responsibilities. The boys seem none the wiser and they watch Yasmin like little troopers. Gareth is wrong. He might have not had sexy fun with his wife after they had kids but I refuse to lose that with my Megan. We’re not even married yet anyway!
Then the following day she hits me with her news and it’s like the biggest slap in the face ever. I know deep down she’s not leaving me and only thinking of her brothers but this sucks big time! Never ever would I have imagined she’d ever want to go back home, and not with Yasmin too. I try to stay calm, listen to her reasoning, understand her motive. It still sucks. It still hurts like hell. But at least we have today. At least for the next 24 hours or more I have my beloved Megan, my amazing Yasmin and Anthony and Rory still here.
But that doesn’t last either! One phone call is all it takes. One call. Anthony wants to see his mum in hospital. I can’t begrudge the lad that at all as I think about the fact that I never managed to see my own mum before she died. Of course their dad thinks that should be tonight. He would wouldn’t he! I’m as nervous as Megan and the boys as we pack the car with their things again, though I insist we keep the air bed at mine as a reminder to everyone that they can come back anytime. Pulling up to number 25 Woodburn Close my heart breaks. What on earth am I doing letting this happen? I lift the baby out of her car seat as she wraps his little arms around my neck. God I love that little girl so much it hurts.
Mr Murphy looks so different to how he was when I last saw him. His arrogance, his abruptness, his demeanour of power and authority, all gone and in its place an old, broken gent sits in the arm chair where I once made love to Megan and she once stripped naked so I could piss all over her clothing. The house feels cold and empty even though it’s full of people. It’s like it’s very soul has been ripped apart. I sit down, determined to hold onto Yasmin until I really have to leave, her very innocence and fragility so obvious to me suddenly. Looking over at Megan’s dad I actually feel a little sorry for him. His pride stripped away, his wife ill and even his children removed from his care. How would I deal with all that? I’m sure I’d look as depressed, aged and worn as he looks right now.
Megan makes the three of us a coffee as she asks her dad how he’s been looking after himself. He’s non committal about it all like he just doesn’t care anymore. Somehow Megan works her magic though as between us we suggest take away dinner when the boys complain they are hungry and she makes arrangements for us all to attend chapel on Sunday. The bit that surprises me the most though is when Mr Murphy just comes out with the fact he actually wants Megan and myself to have Yasmin, not just for right now but forever. I hold the baby on my knee close to my chest. She’s oblivious to what’s going on and how her future has just been decided for what I truly believe is the best but I kiss her and hug her feeling this enormous relief that no-one can now take her away from Megan or myself again. She’s going to be mine and my heart could burst with love for her.
Over dinner Mr Murphy talks a little more. At first I wonder if he’s stuck in the past talking about Shaun and Aisling and Iain and Niamh and Theresa when they were younger but then I realise it’s his way of making peace with the present. Good memories of his older kids are all he really has now as they’ve all left home and made lives for themselves. Rory loves hearing of the cheeky things Iain and Niamh got up to and how Shaun once sneaked a friend overnight into his room thinking his parents wouldn’t notice as there were so many kids already. Megan is smiling too as she effortlessly feeds Yasmin like she was born to be a mum. ‘She’ll make a wonderful mum to her own kids one day’ is the overriding thought that comes to me as she laughs and talks with her family feeling relaxed and happy.
I feel awful still leaving her though but I give her the car keys, hug her tightly and kiss her passionately even though her father can see from his armchair. I’m neither embarrassed nor ashamed and I won’t ever give my Megan up for anyone.
Walking home alone I focus on nothing else other than the way home. If I think too much my mind immediately goes to the overwhelming losses in my life; my mum, my aunt and the thought of once again being alone. Back at the flat I occupy myself by squeezing all the air out the air bed and putting it away in a drawer in my own room, tidying up and then watching TV until I find myself drifting to sleep. I’m still full from the take away at the Murphy’s so I just make myself some tea then head to bed. At least tomorrow I’ll get to see my Megan again and Yasmin at Saint Mary’s, thought it will feel more than a little weird seeing Father Reilly again after what happened the last time I saw him. I text Megan goodnight then read from the Bible before my eyes close of their own accord and I have to sit it down to sleep.
I turn to have one last look at my Megan and reach out to her hating the fact she’s not there. This has to be a very short term arrangement. I don’t think my heart can cope if I have to sleep alone much longer. |
Chapter 295
Megan
Eating dinner at the family table at home just feels right. Dad sharing stories of my older siblings when they were young, Rory laughing and Anthony nodding and smiling while Liam eats so quickly he reminds me once again of our Iain, and the baby has a ball in her high chair. It’s like family life always was even though there’s so many missing. After dinner dad hands me money telling me to buy whatever I need at Tesco and keep the rest for whatever I want. I hold the notes tight in my hand under the table like they might somehow disappear. Dad was never one for giving pocket money preferring instead to have us ask for what we needed or wanted. Anthony helps with clearing up but then dad tells him to get ready to leave to visit mam so Liam takes over before we head out with Rory to the supermarket.
On our return I bath Yasmin while Rory shows Liam his toys in his room. I then ask Liam to help me sort out Yasmin’s cot in mam and dad’s room as it’s obviously been used for just tossing anything in since I left. As I slide the mirrored wardrobe open to get clean cot bedding I tell Liam about the time I was so desperate to pee and there was someone in the only bathroom, as was often the case when I lived here, and how I danced about the room holding myself and finally grabbed something from the wardrobe and peed on it to spare the carpet. I tell him about how I then kicked the wet cot mattress protector and my wet knickers under Yasmin’s cot hoping no one would find them but how a few days later they disappeared. I can tell by his face that he’s avidly listening and worried as I then go on to share about my dad writing to man and then finding the wet things and thinking they were his wife’s. Liam looks mesmerised as he smiles and jokes about perhaps checking under the cot again now. I play along and look under but of course there’s nothing but a dusty carpet this time, thankfully.
Liam stays until dad and Anthony return before he lovingly leaves me the car Keys, holds me tight in the entrance hall and kisses me deeply even as my dad looks on from the living room. It seems incredible that we can do this when just a few weeks ago dad was threatening Liam and even sending the police to England, in conjunction with Shaun, to check up on Yasmin. Watching Liam walk down the path and out the gate breaks my heart. I know I will see him in the morning for chapel but right now that seems an eternity away.
Dad doesn’t say much after he goes as I make us both a cup of tea then I get the boys to bed and climb into my old lower bunk the same as I did for over 20 years before when I lived here. The familiarity of lying looking up to the underneath of the bed on top, the darkness, the quietness, all makes me feel so alone. I miss Theresa, and mam, and Niamh and Iain and even Aisling and Shaun. Finally my eyes close and I drift to sleep whispering my Catholic prayers by heart.
I wake to Yasmin crying in dad’s room and heard straight in to get her. It’s only 7am but there’s no double bed at Liam’s to snuggle up to her and resettle her and as I take her downstairs I can’t help wondering if she’s confused and missing Liam. After she’s had some warm milk and woken more I take her picture on my phone and send it to .Liam. Looking at it as I press send I notice a few more teeth have grown in and I wonder if Liam will notice them too. As I don’t know when the carpet was last hoovered and Yasmin is putting everything in her mouth I keep her on the couch with some toys debating wether I can safely leave her as I am bursting to wee having not been yet since waking. If only Liam was here to watch her! I get as far as the door of the living room holding myself and squirming before I decide that she’s definitely not safe to leave alone sitting on a couch and I race back over to pick her up moaning under my breath. The whole time I was trying to settle her, warm her milk, give her her bottle, then take her picture to send to Liam I could feel my bladder desperate to get release. It’s no good. If I don’t get to the bathroom immediately I’m going to flood the carpet!
I run right back out the living room and start climbing the stairs telling Yasmin how urgently I have to pee. Then I hear a sound that makes me gasp. It’s the bathroom door and someone has just closed it! I honestly can’t wait any longer as I turn and head back downstairs carrying Yasmin as I run down the hallway by the stairs and straight into the adjoining family kitchen. Dancing and squirming for my life I feel my body about to crumble as I sit Yasmin in her high chair without even having the time to strap her in as I ram my hands between my crotch almost crying.
“Sorry Yasmin. I’ve been bursting since I woke sweetheart and I’m…oh shit…oh I need to pee like crazy!”
I open the first cupboard within reach pulling out a long rectangular serving bowl I remember mam using to put fancy sandwiches in for a party once. I quickly push it between my legs just as my body explodes. Please don’t let anyone come into the kitchen right now! Please don’t let Yasmin fall through her high chair! please don’t let any pee get on the floor! The noise of whizzing and whooshing and splashing seems to echo on the kitchen as the relief of finally going washes over me so powerfully I feel like I’m in another world. Oh how I needed that so much!
I shake myself to get any last drips pouring the contents down the kitchen sink and washing my hands. I pull off my drenched warm knickers and put them in the washing machine. I must remember they are there! Hopefully at least dad shouldn’t find them in there unlike he did under the cot.
As soon as I can I strap Yasmin properly in her chair then begin making the promised Sunday fry up. Dad and the boys are all bright and talkative over breakfast as dad reminds the boys to wear a shirt and tie for chapel and to brush their hair. Walking to chapel dad looks at the buggy curiously.
“I don’t remember your mam buying that thing. She hates black usually.”
“She didn’t get this one. I got it from the heart foundation charity shop, I thought Yasmin deserved a new one.”
“Wasn’t the one Anthony and Rory used good enough?”
“It was getting old dad. Anthony’s 12 now remember.”
“I guess.”
The rest of the walk there’s little discussion as I start eagerly looking for Liam the closer we get to the chapel. I finally see him standing at the gate looking incredible in his suit and shirt and tie that he last wore to his aunt’s funeral. I’m desperate to run up to him but I know this would embarrass dad so I remain composed as I lift Yasmin out the buggy and Liam joins us walking into Saint Mary’s as we slide into the row already occupied by Harrison, Aisling’s husband, Shaun and Lilly.
Shaun and Lilly! Why hadn’t I even thought about them being here! What have I done? Shaun turns and stares right at me as I step back grabbing Liam by his arm and ushering dad and the boys to slide into the pew first. I need us as far away from Shaun as possible. I don’t trust him anymore, even in my second home, Saint Mary’s chapel. |
Chapter 296
Liam
I arrive at Saint Mary’s before the Murphy’s and nervously wait at the gate of the car park watching out for them. Seeing Megan with her hair tied up, her blouse showing off her bountiful breasts and her long skirt flowing beautifully I just long to touch her, hold her, kiss her. But the situation doesn’t allow for that so I simple walk through the car park and into the old chapel building beside her in a dream still at seeing how pretty and lovely she looks.
Inside the chapel is cooler than I remember but beaming with light shining from the huge stained glass windows. The light highlights tiny particles of dust in the air as we walk through them to the sound of the old organ playing as I’m ready to file into whatever pew we choose. I follow right behind Megan who has Yasmin in her arms. Behind me is Rory, then Anthony then Mr. Murphy himself. Megan seems to know exactly where she’s going as one pew just looks identical to the other to me. I’m just about to slide into the row she stops at when she grabs my arm and indicates to Rory to go in instead. I glance down the row shivering as I clearly see my boss and Megan’s brother Shaun! Rory, Anthony and Megan’s dad all sit down before Megan sits with Yasmin on her knee and I sit right at the end avoiding looking down the aisle at all costs.
I still don’t know all the ins and outs of what I am meant to be doing so I copy as best I can then take Yasmin from Megan when she starts getting restless and grumpy. It’s obvious she’s over tired as I snuggle her into my chest and then look down shortly afterwards to see her sound asleep with her little hand holding my tie tightly. Another thing I notice early on is that it’s not Father Reilly taking the service but a much older priest whose name I don’t know. Megan taps my leg lightly after the last prayer and indicates it’s time to leave as I stand, still nursing Yasmin in my arms, as I walk down the aisle to the main doors. I don’t want to lie the baby in her buggy, craving the warmth of her body against mine and realising just how badly I missed her last night and this morning. Megan must realise as she pushes the empty buggy out and stands at the side of the large stairs at the front waiting on me. I have my back to the chapel facing Megan and the buggy when I hear a voice I recognise but would rather not hear.
“Oh who have we here then? If it isn’t Liam family wrecker, baby stealer, I need time off work again, no respect for anyone Jude! What you doing here then? Trying to suddenly pretend you’re some man of faith? Masquerading as a Catholic now too then? How low can you get!”
“Leave him alone Shaun.”
“Dad? I thought we agreed he wasn’t welcome in the family. Ripping Megan away from where she belongs, taking the baby and leaving no-one to care for mam. Now trying to steal the boys away too. Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for his lies too? Don’t you want mam home or have you given up on her too? Am I the only Murphy who actually wants her home and well?”
“Now isn’t the time or the place Shaun. Let it drop. I’ve told Megan she can have Yasmin. Now leave it at that will you. I’ve had enough of this now.”
A tall model like woman pulls Shaun away as they both haughtily towards the car park. I look at Megan who has the straps of the buggy now pulled aside ready for me to put Yasmin in. As I carefully lower the sleeping child in Megan bows over to strap her in safely touching my head with hers. I never thought I’d see the day Mr Murphy took our side against his own son in public. I think we’re both in shock.
“Are you still ok to look after the boys and Yasmin while I go to work later? Dad’s visiting mam again. It’s earlier visiting today with it being Sunday. This should be the last time he has to travel to the Ulster thankfully. There’s talk of mam being moved to the community hospital here in Bangor tomorrow.”
“Of course I’ll watch this little princess, and the boys if you need me to. I hope your mam is moved. It’ll be better for everyone.”
“I need to leave about 3:45 if that’s ok with you?”
“No problem. I’ll pop round about 3:15 if that’s ok so you’ve got time to get ready and stuff.”
“Thank you. And thank you for coming to chapel again. See you soon honey. I love you loads.”
I walk back to my flat alone replaying Shaun’s shouts in my mind. Mr. Murphy might have stopped him outside chapel but tomorrow I have to work for him. They’ll be no-one to protect me then. I really need to start looking for another job urgently. The question is who will take me on with my work history and lack of references? It’ll take a miracle that’s for sure.
I’ve just reached my flat when my mobile rings. The number flashes up on my screen with the name Paul Lee. I answer brightly glad to hear from him but wondering why he might have called. As I unlock my door one handed and step into the silent flat his voice is like a beacon of hope, a glimmer of sunshine in the rain. I can hear Cara laughing with their son in the background. I promise to talk to Megan about what he chats about as soon as I can. I’m not sure what she’ll think of it but one thing I do know is that we can’t go on as we are. It’s no longer workable for any of us. |
Chapter 297
Megan
I’m still in shock from dad defending Liam and myself outside of chapel when Shaun shouted at Liam in from of everyone as I walk with my family back home. No-one says much, other that Rory asking if he really has to go back to school and moaning that the holidays aren’t long enough. Yasmin is still sound asleep so I lift her carefully out the buggy and put her straight in her cot while Anthony folds the buggy and brings it in. The boys are hungry, nothing new there, so I heat some soup and make some sandwiches while putting some food in the slow cooker for dinner later. Thankfully Yasmin sleeps while I eat then when she wakes I get her some lunch, change her and hoover the living room so she can play on the floor safely, though she screams through the hoover as always. Anthony and Rory get changed out their smart clothes and I tell the boys what’s happening when dad goes to the hospital to see mam and how Liam is coming over to watch them here. Rory is delighted about not going to the flat again and I make them promise me they’ll behave and tell them when I’ll be home.
Liam arrives in plenty time though we get very little privacy as dad doesn’t leave until the same time as I do. It’s such a beautiful day that I walk to the McGintley’s delighted to be seeing them again and looking forward to taking Chelsea out somewhere. I have a few places in mind but I want to see where Chelsea wants to go first. When they invite me in I can’t get over how well Liz is looking compared to when I last saw her. The break away has clearly done her the world of good, which I’m thrilled about. Chelsea looks great too and her arms are waving and her feet kicking in sheer excitement to see me again. She almost takes off with excitement even more when I bend down to hold her hand and suggest we go to the transport museum that she so loves. Mr McGintley is friendly enough but seems a little off even as he helps wheel his daughter into their van and hands me the key. He asks if I can come back half an hour early which I happily agree too.
As always Chelsea loves the museum and we even squeeze in time for a drink in the cafe courtesy of money her parents gave me for any expenses. It’s so good to be back working again, though I can’t stop thinking how Liam is getting on back at my family home. Back at the McGintley’s Liz has a full tea set up in the kitchen as I wheel Chelsea through and join both her and Mr. McGintley at their dining table as they pour me a tea and pass me a plate of biscuits. I take both out of politeness hoping the impromptu get together is about sharing their holiday news, though I suspect it’s more than that and I’m proved correct.
They begin talking about their fortnight in Scotland, as I was hoping, sharing pics on Liz’s iPad of Chelsea with her cousins, her aunt, her uncle and even her grandparents. It’s then Liz slowly drops hints before her husband finally makes it plain: They have family in Scotland and with the extra support with Chelsea Liz’s health is so much better. There’s some new housing development being build nearby where Liz’s sister lives, some sort of social type housing arrangement whereby they can half rent and half have a mortgage but the property will be fully adapted with Chelsea’s needs in mind. They’ve already enquired and applied and things are looking good. They explain how Chelsea only ever sees me out-with school and how they worry about her being so socially isolated and how she’d have her cousins and their friends to play with in Scotland.
I look over at Chelsea sitting in her wheelchair right beside me and reach out for her hand.
“We’re not leaving right away Megan. We’re just getting everything set up just now. It’ll be a few months, probably summer, before everything is in order, but we wanted you to know right away.”
Liz is tearful but smiling as her husband takes her hand and takes over the conversation.
“I still need to see about wether I can transfer my job or if I need to start applying for something else. We don’t want you to feel you need to finish. In fact quite the opposite. We want nothing more than for you to work for us right until we leave. I’ll ensure you get any money due, including holidays, and it goes without saying that we’ll give you a glowing reference . Nearer the time if you are able to pop to my office I can make sure you get any benefits too. We really don’t want you to go and if we could take you with us to Scotland believe us we absolutely would in a heartbeat.
So now we have that bit over with we were wondering how your holiday went in England? Did you have a nice time?”
“It was nice, yes. Unfortunately it was due to a death in Liam’s family so that marred the occasion somewhat, as I am sure you understand, but Yasmin had a lovely time and it was so good to get away. It was the first time I’d been on the ferry. It’s more like a cruise ship than a ferry really. We even had our own cabin which was brilliant with having Yasmin.”
“You took your little sister with you?”
“Yes. Actually she’s with me all the time now. It’s a bit of a long story, and I won’t bore you with all the details, but mam went back into hospital again and she’s no longer able to care for Yasmin. Liam and I have been caring for her since I moved out.”
Liz looks concerned.
“You moved out? What about your brother’s?”
“I moved in with Liam just before we left for England. In fact just before you left for Scotland too. My older siblings helped with the boys while I was away and they spent a few days with Liam and myself this week. I’m back home with them all this weekend so the boys can get back to school. It won’t affect me working though as Liam is home from work before I will be here and he’ll look after Yasmin while I work. Dad has asked us to formally look after her so we’ll need to get that sorted in due course.”
“You’re not getting child benefit for her, or tax credits then?”
“I have no idea about them but we haven’t had a penny other than some emergency funding from social work when we had the boys for a few days there. I assumed we’d need to wait for mam to get out of hospital.”
“How is your mam doing Megan?”
Liz seems so genuinely concerned as I open up about my mum’s mental health knowing dad would be horrified but feeling I should anyway. Mr. McGintley looks at his wife and then me again.
“When you get the time Megan please make an appointment to see me at the headquarters. You really should have been getting support with all this. There’s so much out there, not least the child benefit and tax credits that can very easily be transferred to your name. Never be stuck. You know where I am, ok?”
I nod as my tea is finally finished and I notice the time.
“I really better head home now if that’s ok? Dad’s at the hospital again visiting mam and Liam is watching the three kids. Thank you so much for the tea and biscuits. I am thrilled for you all, I really am. I’m glad you aren’t going too soon though because I have so many fun things lined up for you Chelsea. Tuesday and Thursday this week as usual ok?”
Liz nods as Mr. McGintley walks me to the door and I start walking home. I need to talk to Liam as soon as I can. I really must start looking for another job but that won’t be easy now we have Yasmin full time and I still don’t know what’s happening with the boys either. Come to think of it I don’t even know these days where I live anymore. Things can’t go on as they are, that’s one thing for sure that I do know. |
Chapter 298
Liam
After making myself something to eat I watch a bit of TV and potter about the flat until it’s time to head back to Megan’s to look after the kids while she goes to work. I arrive in plenty of time, in fact even long enough to join in a game with the boys on the Xbox as I relive my own teenage years racing cars on a video game. Megan even watches for a while with the baby in her arms making me promise I won’t ignore Yasmin while she’s out. As much as the Xbox is fun it’s not a patch on my little princess and there’s no way I could ever ignore her.
Strangely I don’t feel nervous at all looking after the three children as Yasmin’s routine has become so natural for me and the boys mostly look after themselves. It does feel weird having free reign of the Murphy house though as I let Yasmin crawl around in Megan’s room trying to imagine how it must have been with so many kids here not that long ago. Sitting briefly on the bottom bunk in the room it just feels so hard and confined and makes me want Megan back at mine so much. I really need to talk to her when she gets back from work. I need to discuss what Paul mentioned earlier and I need to be honest that I’m still not comfortable with her being back here and being left to care for everyone. She shouldn’t be doing this even though I understand why she wants to. Gareth calls me too but I tell him I’m busy babysitting which he finds hilarious until he discovers I’m deadly serious and Megan has actually left me in sole charge of three children, albeit Anthony can pretty much take care of himself now.
“God she’s nuts! You’ve changed Liam! Not saying it’s a bad thing or anything but God Ireland has definitely changed you. It’s like you’ve suddenly grown up.”
“I guess grief sort of does that to you. That and finding Megan. Who’d have ever thought I’d be sitting here with a baby girl crawling at my feet, not even my own kid but willingly wanting to care for her, planning a wedding I can’t yet afford and now I’ve even been offered an actual proper job. Well not actually offered yet. I need to go for interviews and stuff but it’s a really good wage and proper business hours too. Even inside! How strange is that. I’ve not had a chance to tell Megan yet but it’s most definitely perfect timing mate. The crap right now in my current job is horrendous. I did tell you one of Megan’s brother’s is my boss didn’t I?”
“God that’s not good mate. The brother thing I mean. But tell me more about this new job then. Where, doing what, how did you hear about it, the lot.”
I tell him everything Paul told me whilst watching Yasmin like a hawk too. I keep it as brief as possible though as I have one eye on an escaping baby at the same time. When Yasmin ventures out the bedroom I pick her up and tell Gareth I need to go. I’m downstairs playing with Yasmin when Megan gets home looking a little flustered but happy to see me. She hasn’t even taken her coat off when I pick up Yasmin and sit on the couch hoping to have a chat with Megan. She doesn’t sit down though, hanging up her anorak and going straight down the hall to the kitchen. I stand up with the child and follow behind her.
“Everything ok honey?”
“Yip. Well sort of anyway. Just need to peel some potatoes for dinner. The casserole smells good at least.”
“Ah I wondered what that was cooking. Smells delicious doesn’t it Yasmin?”
“Just a basic sausage casserole really. Cheap and cheerful and hopefully fills everyone up. Would you like to stay? There’s plenty here.”
“That would be great. Thanks. How was Chelsea then?”
“Oh she’s great. It’s so lovely to see her again. You should have seen her when I got there with her arms and legs shaking with excitement. I’ll break my heart when they leave.”
I stand holding Yasmin in my arms watching Megan standing at the sink filling a basin with warm water and adding in potatoes ready to peel. While I’m listening to her words I do notice she’s more than a little restless and jumpy too.
“Where did you take her then? What? Did you just say they are leaving? You mean another holiday?”
She starts peeling the potatoes, cutting them and adding them to a big pot with her back to me while we talk. It’s not my preferred way to be catching up but I know we also need to eat and therefore she needs to multitask. She kicks one foot behind her like her legs are sore or something. I hope she’s not been overdoing it lifting Chelsea or anything.
“They just told me today. They are moving to Scotland soon. I can understand with Liz having family there. I get that. They’re moving to a custom built house too. You know, for Chelsea’s needs. Makes sense really. I’ll just miss them so much and now I’ll need to start looking for another job soon too. I really thought this was my dream job too.”
She turns to briefly look at me as I see her eyes are filling fast.
“You sure that’s potatoes you are cutting and not onions honey?”
“If only it was that Liam! I know it’s just a job, only 8 hours a week but I have grown so fond of that girl Liam.”
I look at the little girl in my own arms.
“I can understand that Megan. I really can. So when are they leaving?”
“They are hoping for summer. At least I get to go to a few more special places first with Chelsea I guess. We did the transport museum again today. She loves it there. We’ll need to take Yasmin there when she’s a bit older.”
I notice her other leg bend back at the knee this time as she changes position yet again wriggling more than seems natural. Her bottom is so sexy and her hair so shiny I struggle not to let my mind wander to more unsavoury thoughts even while we chat.
“I had a call earlier from Paul.”
“Oh how are they doing? How is Joshua?”
“They are all great. Cara sends her love. She’s thinking of setting up as a child minder Paul said. She really doesn’t want to go back to work and leave Joshua with people who don’t know him and she thinks this might be a way to work but still be with him. Oh and Paul wanted to talk to me about a job.”
She turns around to face me briefly again before carrying on peeling and cutting.
“A job? Oh sounds interesting.”
“He gets internal memos or something. He was reading them after church just to catch up and one of them jumped out at him. He spoke to Cara and they both felt it would be perfect for me so he called. It’s in insurance, obviously, but internet follow up or something. Basically calling up people who have asked for quotes online to see if they want to go ahead with it. It’s office hours only Monday to Friday. Hybrid working, same as Paul, so home working and office working too. Amazing salary. Way more than I get now. Anyway, I need to have interviews and stuff, but it sounds brilliant don’t you think?”
“Sounds good. Depends where the office is based I guess.”
“Ah. Now that’s the thing honey. It’s obviously back in Chester.”
She’s silent other than the movement of her legs and feet as I look at Yasmin and wonder if I’m asking way too much of my fiancée. This isn’t me taking her to England for a week for a funeral, this job, if I get it, would mean her leaving everything she’s ever known, her life here in Bangor, her chapel and her family, forever. I hesitate before quietly adding, to try and soften the blow at least a little.
“It’s not even definite I’ll get the job. I need to have interviews and that.”
Then she turns and looks at me right in the eye.
“I think you should go for it honey. It’s too good an opportunity not to.”
I’m desperate to ask if this means she’ll come with me if I get the job but for now I keep my mouth shut. She’s agreed to marry me so surely that means living together, wherever that happens to be? |
Chapter 299
Megan
Walking home I try to stay calm and focus on the here and now. I need to finish dinner for everyone, get the boys bathed and hair washed for school tomorrow and check their bags to make sure they have everything. I need to remember to make a packed lunch for Rory and have snacks for them both. I just hope dad’s not back yet as I really need to tell Liam about my job before I burst out crying.
I can’t face seeing Liam at first knowing I will just fall into his arms crying. I can’t believe how badly I’ve taken the news! I head straight for the kitchen to peel and cut potatoes to have with the casserole as I talk to Liam facing out the kitchen window into the back garden. It’s not ideal but I need to get dinner ready. I have a responsibility to my family. I know he means well asking about work but it’s like salt on an open wound as I try to stay composed and carry on the conversation. Eventually, of course, I have to tell him the truth and hope he understands why I’m so emotional about it all. It doesn’t really matter than it’s just 8 hours of my week, to me my job is everything and my connection to Chelsea so strong.
At least Liam seems so get it. That doesn’t stop the pain but at least he’s not critical of my tears, even if he does joke about the potatoes being onions. Then, as I am still peeling and cutting and rinsing vegetables, he hits me with his own news. It takes a moment for me to even process fully what he’s saying. It’s like it’s not really happening, or happening to someone else, as the reality of his words seep into my brain slowly and the repercussions start to become reality. The job sounds great, other than the fact of its location. Chester. Not Bangor. Not even Ireland.
I need a moment to take that in. Moving to England. That’s what he’s suggesting really. Moving to Chester, the town I just spent almost a week in, where Paul and Cara are and the beautiful house that I lived in and fell in love with. Ok so he’s back peddling a bit saying he needs to get through interviews and stuff but wether he gets the job or not he’s clearly serious about taking me away from my family while my mam is still in hospital, my brothers have no-one to care for them and I still haven’t got anything formal to say that I can keep Yasmin. I’m not totally ruling out moving altogether but I don’t think now is the right time. Besides I am not moving anywhere until the McGintley’s move. I’m determined to spend as much time with Chelsea as possible.
But for Liam this just sounds perfect. He deserves this more than anyone and I tell him to go for it with my backing. I know what work is like for him right now. I know what Shaun can be like. I really truly hope this is for him.
I return to preparing dinner as I put the pot with the potatoes in on to cook and then wash my hands. I busy myself wiping down worktops, cleaning the dining table, setting it up with all we’ll need for dinner and then I head over to the freezer to get some vegetables to put on. Ever since I’ve been home my bladder has been twinging but I have been ignoring it as I have been so busy. Now though as the cold air from the freezer hits me as I open the door and pull the drawer open I find myself having to cross my legs as I struggle to ignore my bodily needs much longer. I probably should close the drawer and the freezer door and run up the stairs but instead I decide to get the green beans out and get them on to cook first. Dad will be back from hospital soon and after dinner I need to get both boys organised for bed ready for school tomorrow. Maybe once the green beans are cooking I can quickly take a break.
I cut the bag and pour some into a clean pot then add a little salt and plenty water, the entire time fighting against the strong urges from my body. I turn to check on Liam and see him sliding Yasmin into her high chair and trying to strap her in. He seems to be struggling clipping the straps together. Taking the pot of vegetables over to the cooker I turn the ring on and put the beans on to cook then go over to help Liam. As I bend forwards to take over I can’t help but instinctively rub my bladder as my need to urinate increases quickly. I push the clips together then look up at Liam who is smiling at me.
“Finally I can give you a hug now!”
He grabs me gently pulling me into his arms.
“I’m really sorry about your job honey. I know what Chelsea means to you. And then stupid me tells you about a job that I haven’t even been interviewed for yet! I’m sorry. Do you seriously think I should apply though?”
“Thanks. And yes I absolutely do think you should go for it. If you don’t try you’ll never know will you? If you get the job, and I might be a bit biased but they’d be crazy not to employ you honey, then we can talk about what we do then, ok? But Liam…”
“Yes sweetheart?”
“You couldn’t do me a big favour could you honey?”
“Of course! What?”
I pull away from his arms as a strong urge to pee washes over me, so much so I have to bend forward and put my hands on my thighs.
“You couldn’t keep an eye on the potatoes and vegetables for a minute while I run to the loo? Too much tea at the McGintley’s I’m afraid.”
“Awww. I was quite enjoying watching you pee dance ever since you came home. Some right cute moves you’ve had going on you know.”
He winks at me as I smile awkwardly back.
“Of course I will. You’d better go eh.”
I walk briskly out the kitchen, down the hallway and up the stairs desperate to get to the bathroom. I will be making sure to empty every last dribble too as with everything else I need to do tonight it could easily be hours before I get the chance to go again! |
And here’s the very last chapter.
Chapter 300
Liam
I stay for dinner at the Murphy’s on Sunday then go home alone feeling positive that although things are awful right now they just might get better soon.
On Monday work is as terrible as ever as I get paired up with old Rodger and we get assigned to the high street and shore line. The beach isn’t as bad as I had dreaded thankfully and a couple of dog walkers even stop to pass the time of day. I’m not sure how to take Rodger so I keep my distance, though we do remain in sight of each other as per the rules. Thankfully he doesn’t notice when my phone rings a few times; Once with Paul quickly asking if I want him to pass my details on for the position and a second longer call from the solicitor in Chester updating me on my aunt’s estate and asking my thoughts on her house. Do I want it sold and the money added to the estate or the deeds transferred to my name? My first thought is to transfer to me as I can always sell it later but then he sways me a little saying that the estate agent who valued the house was confident it would sell very fast so I could get money perhaps within a few months. In the end I ask if I can get back to them and I text Megan to see what she thinks.
I then need to get on with working and decide not to risk being caught on my phone any longer so I don’t check the text messages until lunch when I find not just one from Megan but one from my sister in France too saying my mum’s funeral is on Friday this week. I am not sure how to reply to that so just send a brief ‘thanks for letting me know. Thinking of you. Liam.” It doesn’t seem much but then I haven’t even seen my mum in years and never ever even met my half sister.
Megan, ever the wiser one, suggests transferring the deeds of the house to my name so the estate can be sorted quicker and so I have somewhere to stay when I am called for interview. That turns out to be the right decision, as ever, as I get a call later in the week inviting me for interview the following week! Megan has remained at home all week so she’s there for the boys before and after school, and so her dad can go and visit her mum without leaving the boys on their own. I miss her and Yasmin so much and pop round to see them every single night but coming back to an empty flat makes my heart ache. On the Tuesday, out of nowhere, I come home from work to find Flavius at my door eating some sort of take away sitting on my top step and smiling at me. In a strange way it’s nice to have company again even if his English hasn’t improved much at all.
Megan does some research and discovers that I can fly to Liverpool for a fraction of the cost of the ferry and much much quicker. She drops me at the airport and Paul and Cara pick me up at the other end and drive me to Chester. I stay overnight at my aunt’s, go for the interview and fly back the next day. I feel terrible but I actually call in sick to work knowing full well Shaun would never ever give me the time off. Megan says I ought to go to confession about that but I just haven’t got the time. I do at least go to Saint Mary’s with her every Sunday morning and while Shaun doesn’t verbally threaten me again he still clearly doesn’t approve of Megan and myself.
When I get back from England there’s some amazing news for the Murphy’s. Megan’s mum gets discharged and now on new medication she appears to be more stable than ever. Unfortunately Megan still feels she needs to be at home until her mam can really care properly for the boys but she does leave the boys with their parents the full weekend and comes back to the flat with Yasmin for a few nights. I’m struck by how tired she looks but put it down to all she’s doing at home and the care of Yasmin. She also tells me even better news that she’s went to see Mr. McGintley at work and he arranged for all the benefits relating to Yasmin to be transferred to her and within days she has tax credits and child benefit which helps us so much. Mr. McGintley also tells her about some sort of disability benefit but Megan insists Yasmin’s Downs Syndrome isn’t an issue so she doesn’t bother, at least for now.
I don’t ever have to go back to the food bank, though I know without Megan living with me my diet is awful! I still sneak the odd home cooked meal at the Murphy’s after work and more often that not Megan’s mam actually comes down for tea too. It’s the first I have really got to meet her other than seeing her being taken away in an ambulance. She seems to still live life on a knife edge laughing loads but crying easily and some days finding things a bit of a struggle still, but Megan feels she’s much better and apparently busy planning a party for Anthony’s last day at Saint Christopher’s primary and a baby shower for Aisling.
By the end of May Megan decides to trial moving back with me full time. I am absolutely thrilled and help her move everything with my aunt’s car, which of course is actually mine now, though Megan has been using it while living at home as I can easily walk to work or to the shops. She and Yasmin get to meet Flavius and one night he shows huge interest in the photo on my wall of the little girl my aunt sponsored in Romania. Using google translate Megan finds out that Flavius was actually born in Romania and remarkably he was adopted by his Polish parents from the very same orphanage as the girl in the pic! Megan even discovers it’s Polish that he speaks and we try to learn a few Polish phrases. As we laugh I can’t help thinking how much my life has changed this year from the day I ran away from Lauren Bennet to how things are now.
Talking of Lauren I hear very little from her despite how she was when we were in England. One day I decide randomly to nosy on her Facebook and find she’s actually engaged to some American business mam and for the first time I begin to doubt if the baby she’s carrying is actually mine. I guess I’ll find that out when he or she is born, which is still a few months away yet.
Talking of babies, you’ll never guess what! My beautiful wonderful Megan is actually having a baby too! That was one of the best days of my life finding that out but that’s another story altogether. She’s doing great and her little bump actually reminds me of how she looks when her bladder is really full so that’s a whole added pleasure. She looks sexier, even more stunning and more radiant than ever, even though she’s a lot more tired than before and slightly sick feeling now and again too. The best bit, for me at least, is that’s she’s forever desperate to pee. I know, I can’t help it though. Just seeing her squirm or bounce her legs that way she does never ceases to drive me wild just like it did the day I first saw her in the launderette.
Megan’s right beside me as I write this and she’s just told me to say that her sister Aisling is doing well now too. She’s still being sick even now and being carefully monitored but our little nephew is due in just a matter of weeks now and we’re all excited that we’ll get to meet him and spend a few weeks with him before we move.
We move to Chester, Megan, me, and Yasmin, at the start of July, the week after the McGintley’s move to Scotland. Niamh has moved in with her boyfriend so she’s staying in Belfast all summer but Iain is coming back home for a while to see his parents and the boys. Once we’re settled both Rory and Anthony are spending some of the summer with us in Chester too and Paul and Cara are really looking forward to meeting them. Theresa has met someone too, though she hasn’t told her parents yet apparently. Megan says she’s glad she’ll be in England when that happens as it turns out her older sister actually likes woman rather than men. I fear Shaun will disapprove of that even more than he disapproves of Megan and I!
I start my new job in insurance a week after we move. It’ll be strange not picking up litter all day and actually being able to go to the toilet whenever I need to, though Megan has joked about locking the bathroom so she can get to see what I was like at work all day as a litter picker. Pregnancy hasn’t changed her that much I can assure you!
As for little Yasmin, she’s doing brilliant. Megan took her to the hospital appointment she missed and while her heart is still immature and her chest is weak, and she’s still very behind other children, she’s doing things at her own pace and at almost 2 she’s beginning to push those push along toys things finally. There s no real worlds but she’s trying hard and maybe one day there will be. She’s the light of my life and we’re very close despite having time apart recently when she was with Megan at the Murphy’s.
Cara and Paul have invited us to go to church with them. I thought Megan wouldn’t be keen since it’s not chapel but she fancies the change apparently and is thrilled she no longer needs to go to confession. That’s definitely for the best given how often she’s peeing these days! You ought to see us both when I race home every night dying for a piss and she’s pee dancing holding herself cooking tea or on the phone to her dad making sure they are all ok. I try to be gracious and let her go first given her condition but boy does it make things hard for me, in more ways than one!
As for our wedding, well I still haven’t even managed to get Megan an engagement ring as my aunt’s inheritance still hasn’t been finalised. We’re thinking of waiting now until the baby is born and Yasmin is walking so she can be a little bridesmaid. Gareth has agreed to be my best man and Megan has asked Cara to be her maid of honour. We’ve not set a date as we’re so busy packing to move. Maybe next summer perhaps? We’ll have to wait and see I think.
Later today, just fir the sake of nostalgia, we’re all going for a walk. You can probably guess where given how everything started? Exactly right! We’re heading to the shore but via that all important launderette and then down past Saint Mary’s chapel. I’m thinking we should walk back via the fountain at the council headquarters too assuming it’s turned on. I’m looking forward to a fresh start back in England but Bangor has given me so much pleasure that I’m going to miss the place loads.
I’m sure we’ll be back loads though. After all Megan won’t leave her family for long and I’ve leant how important that really is. I still wish I’d said a proper goodbye to my aunt Ella. At least now I can still hear plenty memories from her neighbours. Megan and I can’t wait to see them again too. |
I'm so happy people are enjoying my writing. This shows exactly how I feel right now 😊 (0:21 to about 0:30):
https://youtu.be/FqymDgkv4oE?t=21
Anyway, without further ado:
Chapter 2: Blackmailing locker
On Monday Jessica went to school, wearing short plaid skirt and a top. She went to her locker.
-Hi Ela! How are you? - She said to her locker neighbour
-Oh! Hi Jess! Someone is in the mood... something happened on the weekend?
-Um... not much! I'm just having a good day. - Jessica answered, smiling.
-Whatever you say... - Said Ela, giggling. Jessica opened her locker, and found a piece of paper taped to the inside of her locker door. It was folded in half, and it said “I know your secret” with a picture of panties with droplets coming out of them. Jessica's eyes widened, and she quickly tore the paper down, and hid it, looking around to make sure noone else saw it.
-A letter from the weekend guy? - Asked Ela peeking from behind Jessica's locker door.
-Uh... Yeah! You got me. I'll tell you about it later. See ya! - Jessica recovered with a quick lie. And almost ran to the bathroom. She took out the paper, and opened it:
“If you want it to stay a secret I don't want to see you in the bathroom today.
Have fun today, and if you want to avoid these messages in future, send your phone number to: [email protected]”
Jessica's heart sank. How could anyone see her? It had to be a bluff, right? Just then a sheet of paper slid from under the door. Jessica picked it up. It was a printed photo of her in her kitchen, with a very visible wet patch on her jeans. She turned the paper:
“In case you thought it was a joke
:)”
Jessica tore a picture, and darted out of the bathroom. She was panicked, but she knew she needed to look normal to avoid a scene, so she took a deep breath and tried to look calm. She walked to her classroom. Before class began she took out her phone, and sent her phone number to the email form the message. She thought it was a safer. If she kept getting these messages eventually someone else would see them. During the lesson she received the first text. She looked around. Noone was using their phone. She picked the phone, message was from restricted number:
“As a gesture of good will I'll forgive you your bathroom visit if you drink the whole bottle of water I left in your locker during the next break. If you don't I have couple more copies of that photo.”
Jessica was terrified, but hid it well, she waited for the bell, and when it rang she darted out of the classroom, and straight to her locker. Inside there was indeed a 0,5l bottle of water right in the middle. She took it and downed it as quickly as she could. By the end of the break she could already feel the effects of it. She felt a slight discomfort in her bladder, but she still had 4 lessons to go! She felt her phone vibrating:
“In case you thought yourself too clever: I don't like truants. You'll go to all your classes. Panties dry, or not.”
-Well now I'm not thinking about it... - She said to herself, and went to the next class. Her bladder was getting fuller, but otherwise class went without a fuss. During the next class her bladder was getting quite uncomfortable, so she raised her hand, and asked if she could be excused. She was sure that her blackmailer must be a student, and he, or she would be in class, not being able to see her. Teacher eventually allowed her to leave, and she walked out of the classroom, and towards the toilets. She only took couple of steps outside the classroom, when she got another text:
“I told you I don't like truants. You'll have a drink from the water fountain, and come back, or the first thing your classmates see, when they walk out of a classroom will be your wet jeans.”
-F**k! - Jessica cursed silently, and resigned walked over to the water fountain and drank some water, before going back to class. By the end of the lesson she was starting to become desperate to relieve herself. Bell rang for a lunch break. Jessica went outside. She knew that if nothing changes she's going to have an accident. Even worse an accident at school! She'd be a laughing stock! So she decided that if she was going to have an accident anyway, I'd be better if it was on her terms. She sat on the grass outside, moving the skirt on the back, so she sat on the ground directly on her panty clad bottom. She looked around. And when she made sure there's noone nearby, she peed, soaking through her blue panties, and into the ground. When she finished her panties were absolutely soaked. She shifted slightly, took a tissue, and discreetly wiped her panties, and got up.
-Where are you going? - She heared Ela approaching.
-When I was sitting here I didn't realise there's mud here, so I decided to move.
-That's odd... I didn't rain recently... anyway! Tell me about the weekend guy! - Jessica went with Ela, having a chat, which would've been nice if it wasn't for uncomfortable feeling of wet panties.
After the break she went for the next class, which went quite normally. On the next break Jessica received another text:
“You're leaving wet marks on your chairs. Did you have an accident? Or do you like it so much it makes you wet?”
While she was reading it, she received another one:
“Let's have more fun. And this time I'll give you a choice: you can send me a photo of your wet panties on email, or have another accident. You have 10 min. Tik tok...”
Jessica looked at the time. She only had 2 min until class starts, which meant she couldn't use the same trick again, so if she was to have another accident it would have to be in school hall, or in class. Both these options would be a social suicide, which only left one thing...
Bell rang for class to start, Jessica sat down and thought how she could deal with this situation, when she got another text:
“5 min. Every 5 min you're late I photo'll show up in school. Tik tok...”
Jessica panicked, looked around, shifted in her chair, and took a photo of her panties under her skirt, which she sent immediately. She felt relieved, but after a minute she received next text:
“I wanted a photo of WET panties. These are barely moist. 3 min. Make it count!”
This is what the blackmailer wanted all along! He wanted her to pee herself in the class! Jessica felt helpless, and tried to force a bit of pee into her panties. Just enough to make a visible wet spot, but she couldn't force herself. Then she got another text:
“1 min. Do you want me to make your wet jeans famous? If so I have some better angles...”
Attached to this text was a photo. Jessica opened it, and it was a photo of her in completely soaked jeans, moping the floor in her living room. Jessica froze with shock and panic. The shock was so much, that she didn't need to force her pee out. It came out on it's own. Before she realised what she's doing and stopped the flow, she was already sitting in a pee puddle, which thankfully wasn't big enough to start dropping to the floor yet. Jessica again shifted in her seat, and took another photo, and sent it. After that she started panicking about the puddle she was sitting in. There was no way she could hide that. She started dropping tissues between her legs, which soaked the pee. By the end she ended up with very wet panties, slightly wet skirt (which thankfully wasn't very visible), and dryish chair. Only then did she realised she received a text, while she was drying the chair.
“I see you went for both. You really are enjoying this! Hope nobody in class notices. Oh! In case you thought you're off the hook: I said no bathroom TODAY. Have fun after school as well. I'm watching ;)”
-----------------
Chapter 3 is not finished yet. I kinda lost interest in writing it, which is actually the big reason behind me finally getting to posting my stories. I'm hoping you might inspire me to continue. I have couple of other stories, which I might publish in the meantime. 😋 |
Beginning Note: This is the sequel to my previous story. It’ll be pretty different since there’s no zombie action or danger whatsoever aside from some flashbacks, but it’ll follow the same narrative/timeline if you will. This fic also breaks minor canonity with Ghost’s and Rebecca’s cameos, and severe canonity with Carla Radames’ role so I apologize if that upsets anyone.
It had been months since the tragic Raccoon City infestation and destruction. The handful of survivors were quite downtrodden, if not traumatized by the horrid incident. A couple of them managed to pull through, one of them being the spy Ada Wong. Of course she didn’t escape unscathed, quite the opposite really. A puncture wound on her thigh and a gunshot wound to her shoulder, coupled with falling down a story was really quite the hassle.
However, most people would have died, Ada merely shrugged these annoyances off, sealed them with first aid spray and some bandages, then continued to make her escape before Raccoon City had been wiped off the face of America. In addition she hadn’t even failed her mission. She was dangerously close to, when fortune smiled upon her.
A USS agent was seen holding an undamaged vial of the G virus in one hand, MP5 in the other. Was it HUNK? No, HUNK would have noticed her by now and possibly have snapped her neck. That man was the stuff of legends. Unfortunately, his teammates weren’t anywhere near as skilled or lucky, although this lone agent seemed to be the exception. This was her opportunity.
“Alright handsome, hand it over.” Ada demanded in a sultry voice and teasing smirk as she held her Mauser HSc to the back of the agent’s helmet clad head. He turned around, the mask having very visible claw marks and a missing eye lens. “Ada Wong, huh? Shit fucking luck.” the agent cursed to himself. “Made it through this shithole only to be stopped by the likes of you.”
“HUNK will be disappointed, but he won’t punish you. If I disappoint Wesker though, well I don’t even want to get into those details.” she sighed. Truthfully Ada knew she was too valuable to Wesker for him to kill her simply for failing one extraction, but there would be other consequences that she’d rather avoid if at all possible.
“Fine, I was planning on early retirement anyway. Umbrella couldn’t pay me to ever go through this again. I can help provide for my family some other way.” the USS agent grumbled as he begrudgingly handed her the vial. “Thank you so much.” she teased as she blew him a kiss. The agent let out a genuine laugh as they parted ways. The seductive spy had killed many before him and was willing to do so again, but she preferred avoiding it when possible, especially for inexperienced rookies like him.
“Almost reminds me of a certain someone.” she said to herself with a smile as her ride out of the forsaken town entered her view. After that, she took a long shower and changed into clean clothes. Albert Wesker was pleased with her success so she was rewarded with quite the paycheck, a vacation, and the two engaged in a rigorous session of sex to pass the night away. For an egomaniac bioterrorist with a god complex, he sure was an excellent fuck buddy.
Unfortunately Ada did not try her new kink, knowing fully well wetting Wesker’s bed or attempting any form of urination whatsoever was a sure fire way to piss him off (terrible pun I’m sorry), and even she wasn’t brave enough to explore that possibility. However with her newly earned time there were plenty of other opportunities, mainly with her new medical exam. Instead she excused herself to his bathroom for a lengthy piss like she did for the other affairs.
“Carla Radames speaking, how may I help you?” the doctor politely inquired over the phone. “Hey Radames, Ada here. I’d like to schedule an appointment, I discovered something.” “What, are you infected?” “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? No, I have no problem, however I need a medical perspective on a new habit.” “New habit huh? This should be good. How would Wesker feel about this?” “I wouldn’t know, because he’s not going to find out.”
“Same passive aggressive bitch as usual, although I suppose that’s your charm. That, and your huge rack, beautiful ass, and delicious-” “We can continue this conversation tomorrow, good night.” Ada curtly hung up. The threats were quite the annoyance, although they were worth the medical exams, which were really just an excuse to get off.
While Ada had certainly been skilled in both the giving and receiving ends regarding lesbian sex, she usually preferred men. Carla Radames however, being both an experienced medical doctor and someone who got off on making others squirm in delight, knew exactly how to push each and every one of her buttons. Not one of their appointments had ended without Ada grasping the medical chair and releasing pornographic moans of orgasmic pleasure.
The next morning Ada made sure to drink copious amounts of tea, knowing full well it would speed up the desperation process and result in much clearer urination. Soon she arrived at the office, signed her name, and sat down, grabbing a magazine to pass the time. However it was somewhat hard to concentrate, the tabloid wasn’t very interesting whereas the anticipation of pissing and receiving a medical exam was enough excitement to keep herself occupied.
“Ada Wong, Radames’ ready to see you.” the secretary called. Ada nodded in thanks and briskly walked to the room, then knocked on the door. Carla opened the door, Ada could see the smug look adorning the blonde doctor’s face. “Well hello there sexy, glad to see you’re just as excited as I am. Look at you bouncing around, you weren’t so open about this before!” “This is a bit different, just start the normal procedure and then I’ll explain afterwards.”
“Suit yourself, beautiful. You know the drill, take off your clothes but leave the panties on. And do it slowly, last time was hardly worthy of a strip tease.” Ada grimaced in annoyance but did as told, slowly lifting her dress and peeling it off, then proceeded to unbuckle her bra and hung both on a clothes rack. She turned to face Carla, noticing how the doctor was eagerly eyeing her. “Good enough for you?” “Yes, very well done. Now, let’s start with these amazing tits.”
Carla grasped Ada’s left breast, feeling around for any lumps or other anomalies. Satisfied that there were none, she proceeded to rub and pinch the brown nipple, which quickly hardened in response. She blew air on it, causing Ada to gasp. Pleased, she repeated this procedure on the right breast, only this time instead of blowing air she twisted the nipple and areola. Ada yelped and almost jumped off the examination bed, but Carla eased her back down.
“Little early for that, don’t you think?” “Maybe, but you always liked that part so I decided to speed up the process. Now, lie down.” Ada complied, and Carla continued her examination, taking note of her temperature and heartbeat. “Little faster and hotter than average, but I believe we both know that’s perfectly acceptable given the circumstances. Lower your underwear.”
“Actually that’s what I wanted to FUCK!!” Ada suddenly yelled in shock as Carla pressed in her abdominal region. “Jesus Ada, I know you’re ticklish but you’ve never reacted that way before? What’s gotten into you today?” “I need to urinate.” Ada admitted with a blush as she looked to the side. “I’m aware that’s coming up soon but that was never an issue before. Did you drink more than usual…?” Carla began to trail off, suddenly sporting a wide grin.
“What? Yes I did but why are you looking like that?” “Now I know why you called for this appointment, wanted to switch things up a notch, yes? I was wondering when we would try this out.” “I’m confused, what?” “I’ve done a lot of things to that voluptuous body of yours, from massaging, fingering, douching, and you go especially wild from the speculum. It seemed strange to me that you held back from engaging in urine play considering you were fine with the other activities. I certainly don’t judge and no-one else is going to know.”
“You knew?! How the fuck did you know, I didn’t even know!” Carla’s grin slowly dropped off her face, it was the first time Ada had ever seen her completely dumbstruck. “You’re kidding right? You’re not kidding, alright. So, I’m assuming this is the new habit we were discussing over the phone?” “Yes, very new. I only discovered it because I pissed myself back in the Raccoon City incident.” “Well I have to hear this, tell me everything!”
“Okay, well I was trekking the sewers looking for Annette when my bladder began to twinge. I couldn’t pee normally because if I removed my panties and squatted the T virus zombies could easily surround and kill me. I wanted to hold it in but knew wetting myself was the most likely solution. I was able to handle business like usual for the most part, but towards the end the anxiety and stress was catching up to me, causing me to feel extra sweaty and frustrated.” “Kind of like now I can see.” Carla responded as she wrote notes on a clipboard.
“Uh huh.” Ada shot back as she started rubbing her thighs together from the diuretic tea taking effect on her body. “Well a small spurt escaped and I was shocked, not only because I was mortified, but because I realized it felt pretty good. Not just that small release, but everything else too. Holding it in gave me pleasurable aches in my bladder and groin, it was almost as arousing as fucking Wesker or being tested on by you.”
“This is definitely what I needed to hear. Keep going.” Carla encouraged. “Well we’re pretty much at the end. I saw a Licker and ended up having to kill it. It certainly sped up the process.” “So you pissed yourself in fear, huh? Straight out of a horror movie! Never pictured the great Ada Wong in such a vulnerable position, cowering in her own puddle of urine.” “Normally I would be offended at your petty belittling, but honestly I’m so proud of discovering this new kink, not to mention your description is just super fucking hot.” Ada admitted. “Now to why we’re here. First I want you to tell me how the hell you knew before I did, and if there’s any risk or danger.”
“So this is a real doctor’s exam. Well that’s a bummer.” “You can poke, prod and do whatever the hell you want with me, just please tell me what I need to know and then you can make me cum hard!” Carla was taken back by how straightforward Ada was, usually her favorite patient had a surly attitude, probably annoyed that for once she was someone’s plaything, not the other way around. Clearly she was very concerned for her health and wellbeing, not to mention desperate for release in more ways than one.
“Fair enough. How did I know? Well to put it simply I’m a doctor. Of course my main area of expertise is being a scientist, but as you’ve experienced time and time again I know the human body well enough to absolutely make any patient or sexual partner begging for mercy as I manipulate their anatomy. Whenever it was time for a urine sample you seemed extra excited, even more so then whenever I inserted a speculum inside that tight cunt.”
“That was different, back then I was just relieved to get rid of the excess urine.” “Maybe, but there was more to it than that, even if you didn’t know it yet. Your breathing would increase more rapidly and your nipples would get hard. I don’t care how desperate you were to take a piss, no-one’s body reacts that way unless they’re aroused by it. You could have simply been fantasizing about something else but every single time? It’s just not possible.”
“I guess that makes sense. Even if you’re the doctor though, I still don’t get why I was so late to my own party.” “Well it’s a very rare fetish. If know one ever talks about something, and it seems taboo, it will never subconsciously enter your mind, even if the answer is right in front of you.” “I suppose that makes sense. Now to the most important part, can holding in my urine and wetting myself cause any serious danger or health concerns?”
“Honestly? The short answer is yes, there certainly are. However, there’s no need to worry. Take the necessary precautions and you’ll be just fine. Urine is sterile, however when the urea is exposed to the air, it turns into ammonia and starts attracting bacteria. Wearing damp clothes saturated with urine can cause rashes.” “That’s not an issue, I prefer pissing naked anyway, and even if I am wearing clothes or doing it in the bed I immediately take a shower and put everything in the laundry.” “Clever girl.” Carla complimented as she pinched Ada’s cheek.
“As for holding it in, if you’re healthy bladder rupture and kidney failure are nonexistent. If you ever feel sick or in pain though, immediately stop and seek medical help. It can be from me or any other professional you trust, just make sure you take care of yourself.” “That makes sense, continue.” “Drinking does help, but make sure to stay properly hydrated. Don’t over or under do it. Urinary tract infections are the most dangerous risks. If you’re dehydrated and have yellow urine, do not try to hold it in. Drink properly and let go.”
“Alright, thanks. I know that peeing after sex or orgasm is also helpful in avoiding a UTI.” “Very good Ada! You sure did your homework.” Carla gushed as she playfully patted her patient’s bladder. Ada slapped her hand away. “Not quite yet, there’s still more.” “You like fruit, right? Especially berries?” “What the hell does that have to do with anything?” “Well, blueberries and cranberries are excellent against warding off UTIs, and cranberry juice is the perfect diuretic for you.” “Oh, that’s actually very nice to hear.”
“I knew you’d like it, hot stuff. I have extra notes for anything else you need to know. Now, remove those panties, sit in that chair, and get ready for an extra special examination. You’re gonna cum and piss so hard it’ll bring tears to your eyes, so I made sure to bring extra wipes!” Carla declared, a sadistic gleam shone in her eyes. Ada was very familiar with that look. Carla never caused any pain whatsoever unless it was specifically asked for, but she loved toying with her playmates to the point of humiliation. “Speaking of wipes though, I have to ask.” “Yes?” Ada questioned as she settled into the stirrups, her pubes and genitals on full display with legs spread wide open.
“You know you love urine play. Have you by chance tested out if you love defecation as well?” “Ew, what the fuck?! That’s disgusting! I’ve been looking forward to this for days, don’t ruin it.” “Ada, that’s rather rude, you should be ashamed of yourself.” Carla snapped. Ada felt some pangs in her bladder and crotch from both the doctor’s tone and facial expression and she gulped nervously. “Your fetish is almost as unheard of and looked down upon, not to mention downright similar. What gives you the right to judge and shame others for theirs?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that! I’m just not into it, okay? Don’t…” “Don’t what? Hurt you? Even though I should spank the daylights out of you for being so disrespectful, you know I have rules that I abide by.” “I meant don’t leave me. I was wrong to be rude, I was just caught off guard.” “Alright, I believe you. You’re lucky you're such an adorable and sexy young lady. Truth be told, I’m pretty put off by it as well, and I don’t want any imperfections regarding an ass as fine as yours. Before you question why I got mad if I feel the same way, I still felt you were being ruder than acceptable.” “I’m sorry, really I am.”
“I know you are. Now, it’s playtime. Or maybe I should combine recess with divine punishment for being so bad, don’t you agree?” Carla playfully suggested as she pressed hard on Ada’s abdominal region. The spy moaned out loud, much to the doctor’s approval. She put pressure on other areas to warm her patient up, then decided to take things up a notch and began rubbing the clit, causing it to harden and come out of its hood, along with viscous liquid to moisten the pouty genital lips.
“Becoming so wet already, you’re such a fucking slut Ada! Despite all the mean glares and sarcastic comments I know you love being my sex toy, it absolutely turns you on, being humiliated by someone who knows all your dirty secrets. Domination, embarrassment, medical exams, and now pissing yourself? Such a dirty, naughty girl!” Carla exclaimed with glee as she began to pump two of her fingers into Ada’s cunt, the younger woman moaning her head off in absolute ecstasy from both the simulation and the words, playing with her own nipples.
“Do you trust me?” Carla suddenly whispered.“What?” “Do you trust me?” “Yes?” Ada answered, unsure what exactly the doctor had planned. “Good, you’re gonna love this.” Carla responded as she suddenly pulled out leather straps, restraining Ada’s wrists to the arm rests and her ankles to the stirrups. Ada had been restrained before during other exams so this wasn’t anything new.
“Okay, you better be right about this.” “Does this answer your concerns?” Carla retaliated as she began tickling Ada’s bare feet. “Ack!! Stop it!” “No can do, I know you’re enjoying it.” She began trying other areas, such as palms, arms, and abdomen. Ada was crying in laughter from the tortuous joy that had been inflicted, it was so painfully unbearable but was also such a high that she wanted more, when suddenly the doctor backed away.
“Wait, why’d you stop?” “You were going to start leaking, which is way too soon. Besides, the tickling was just a warm up, now here comes the fun part.” “Which is?” “I’m timing you. You’re going to hold it for fifteen minutes.” “What?! That’s ridiculous! I’ve been holding it for so long.” Ada moaned. “A five minute drive, ten minute waiting period, and another ten minutes during our exam? I’ve seen pregnant mothers with stronger bladders than you. Besides, this is for your own good.”
“How is this for my own good, you just want to torture me!!” “While that is certainly true, you came here because you thought I knew what was best, and now I’m giving it to you. While I’m sure your first wetting was amazing, this will be so much more divine.” “Yeah, well what if I go right now?” “Ada, I promise you if I see you try to break free of your restraints or a drop of urine leaving those pussy lips and entering the bedpan, I will never touch you again. You can forget ever making a doctor’s appointment with me, unless it’s for a prescription.” While they both knew that was a bluff, Ada still didn’t want to risk it.
“I suppose if you want, maybe you can find another doctor. But will they attend to each and every one of your needs like I do? Knowing how hard it was to find a patient like you, you won’t find a doctor or nurse fetishist like me. Or maybe you can hire some prostitute with all that money you have, dress her up in a doctor’s coat. She won’t be able to protest since you’re the one keeping her from being in the homeless shelter, but she’ll also think you’re a twisted pervert. She wouldn’t be wrong either.” Carla admonished softly.
“Bitch go fuck yourself!!” Ada screamed at her doctor, angry tears threatening to leak. “Oh but I do. Honestly you’re such a greedy little slut Ada. Our playtime? It’s all take and no give. Every exam I touch you until you cum hard, trying out every fetish you’re curious about. The only orgasms I’ve ever received from you were from when I masturbate to the recordings of each session after I’m done editing them into videos and screenshots. You could touch me back, we could be fucking. But we’re not. Why? Because I’m a professional, I don’t fuck patients. Now repeat it yourself.” “You don’t fuck patients.” Ada grumbled, looking like she was going to lose control by the second.
“Exactly. As I said earlier, we could take this outside the doctor’s office but you refuse. You wanted to remain doctor and patient so that’s what we are. Now you’re gonna sit there and find some way to keep yourself occupied, you understand me? If you come up with any activity make sure to ask me for permission first.” “Yes.” “Good girl.” Carla teased as she sat back down, watching Ada intently. Her patient had nothing to focus on other than her dire need to urinate and the harsh lecture she just recieved. These two combined were sure to have her crying her pretty little head off.
Sure enough, Ada began to let a couple of tears and sniffles loose, then began sobbing out loud. Carla was more than satisfied with this reaction, eagerly eyeing her patient as she continued to cry hard. She had seen tears before but full on sobbing was such a new and beautiful treat. The doctor loved breaking her patient with humiliation and emotional abuse, which she was getting a front row seat of. Ada shivered a few times and sniffled some more before finally settling down. The lecture and crying session had so far been around five minutes, ten more to go.
“Carla?” “Yes, Ada, what do you need? Besides pissing yourself into oblivion?” the doctor responded with a sadistic grin. “Is it okay if I move around, just sitting still is going to make me burst, I need some sort of distraction, anything!” “Alright I’ll permit it. However, if you feel like it’s going to make you piss, stop. If I tell you to stop, stop. Got it?” “Yes.” “Alright then, go right ahead.” Ada nodded in understanding and wiggled her shapely ass around the seat, creating a lovely sight. Soon the wiggling became some sort of gyration motion.
Carla stared in amazement and interest as Ada continued to gyrate her hips, thrusting herself in the air in a slow tempo, up and down, up and down. Her breathing became heavier followed by some moans which were added to the mix, and a fine sheen of sweat was coating her body. The doctor took special interest in her patient’s brown pussy lips. They seemed to be gaping, opening and closing almost like they were trying to grasp something. That’s when the realization hit her.
‘Ada isn’t just moving wildly because she needs to urinate, she’s fantasizing about a man fucking her! Not just casual sex either, it’s like they’re making love. I can almost see the mystery man sticking his cock in her cunt, going in and out, it’s driving her wild. Who is it though? Certainly not Wesker. It’s no secret she loves being railed by that madman, but they’re just fuck buddies. Whoever she’s thinking about, it’s much deeper than that.’ Suddenly, Ada stopped moving.
“Ah, the show’s over? I was really enjoying seeing you dance.” “I had to, I almost let the floodgates flow.” “Such a good patient. You’ve only got three minutes left, think you can hold on?” “It hurts so much, I just want to pee.” “I know baby, just hold on a little longer.” Ada squirmed every now and then but otherwise obliged. Her bladder and genitals were begging to release all the pent up liquid and frustration but she managed to hold it in.
“Time’s up. I suppose you’ve been a good girl, it’s time to take that urine sample. Let go.” Carla announced as she stood up. Ada tried, but nothing came out. “What’s wrong?” “I don’t know, it’s not working! What’s happening?” she questioned in panic. Carla burst out laughing. “You’re getting pee shy, that’s adorable!” “Bitch, quit laughing and help me!” “How am I supposed to help? You’re the one in control of your own bladder.” “I don't know, start talking dirty about me pissing or something. It’s worked before.” Carla obliged.
“You’re a big girl, Ada. Go ahead and pee, urinate into the bedpan. I want to see that waterfall of pale yellow piss.” Carla encouraged her patient. Ada began to convulse as she moaned, her crotch begging for release, which was followed by a scream of delight and a torrent of hot piss that hit the bedpan loudly. Eventually it became a steady trickle, followed by a couple of spurts, then a couple of drops. As with every other orgasm, Carla had it recorded to the minute detail, catching the whole erotic display on video, which she would also later edit into screenshots.
“Probably your best performance yet! I’ll masturbate to this for years to come. And I take back what I said about pale yellow, it's so clear!” Carla exclaimed in delight as she reached for wipes. First she took care of Ada’s pussy, taking great care to remove stubborn drops of urine clinging to her lips and bush. Next, she dried Ada’s tears, feeling quite pleased with herself. “I’m so tired, I just want to…” Ada couldn’t finish her sentence as she let out a yawn. Carla undid the straps and carried her naked patient to the examination bed, gently laying her down. “It’s okay, rest up. We can talk later. Mind if I take a couple of pictures while you sleep?” “You’re such a weird slut.” Ada insulted as she closed her eyes.
“You’re one to talk.” Carla shot back as she snapped multiple photos from different angles. Around twenty minutes later, Ada stirred from her sleep. Carla noticed with amusement that the first thing Ada did when she woke up was check her genitals and pat the examination bed. “You didn’t wet the bed if that’s what you’re wondering. I did have a patient with that problem though.” Ada flushed, but raised an eyebrow at the latter topic. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, she’s this adorable petite Chinese college girl who had PTSD. She survived unscathed but the trauma was enough to inflict her with night terrors and chronic bedwetting. She had to sleep on towels which were changed continuously. Normally she was a very happy and upbeat individual but during our first appointment she was a sobbing mess.” “I know you must have enjoyed that.” “My duties as a legitimate doctor come first so I made sure to help her fully recover. She’s just a normal patient now. That actually brings me to my next point.”
“Which is?” “I’m sorry for guilt tripping you earlier.” “That’s a damn lie, you love seeing me in tears.” “Oh, there seems to be a misunderstanding. Yes I absolutely adore your shame, seeing you sob like that made me so wet I’ll need to wash my panties.” Ada looked at her doctor with a disturbed expression. This wasn’t anything new in the slightest but hearing her admit it so blatantly was still something she was not used to.
“However I overdid it. Embarrassing you and being on the brink of pissing yourself were enough to make you tear up, I manipulated you into thinking something that wasn’t true. Yes, you’re always on the receiving end but I don’t despise or resent you for that. In all actuality you’re my favorite sexual partner.” “What? How the fuck is that possible? You even said I’m the only one who doesn’t reciprocate.”
“I understand it’s complicated but hear me out. First off, you’re the sexiest and naughtiest pervert I have ever had the honor of pleasuring. More importantly though, you’re the only one of my sexual partners who truly understands medical fetishism.” “Yeah right, don’t you play doctor with your other fuck buddies and patients?” “No, they don’t get it like you do. The men I’ve met don’t give a shit about medical procedures, they just want to see me in an unbuttoned labcoat with my boobs on display. My female patients don’t find any of this erotic at all, it’s just an uncomfortable procedure that they want to quickly be over with as soon as possible.”
“It’s not their fault, this is kind of strange.” “Oh, I totally understand. Still Ada, don’t you get it? We go through so many different medical fetishes with each appointment, you always bring something different to the table. Sometimes you’re such a stubborn and disrespectful bitch, and others you’re so vulnerable, tearing up and begging me to help you orgasm despite knowing fully well just how much your humiliation gets me off. I’ve seen so many different sides of you, and each and every one of them was erotically beautiful. Just like earlier, seeing you urinate like a spraying garden hose with pure bliss on your face. By the way, the urine sample came back completely healthy, keep at it.”
“Gee, thanks. I don’t get it though, why are you telling me all this?” “This is your last examination with me, is it not? If it is I’m glad this is the one, it was such a beautiful finale. Although, I am disappointed you just now discovered your peeing fetish, I had a couple more experiments I want to try out.” “Well we certainly can, because this wasn’t my last appointment. What the hell even gave you that idea?” “I’m sorry, you don’t have a boyfriend?” “No I don’t have a boyfriend, where is this coming from?” “Earlier when you were gyrating your hips in the air, thrusting your ass in the air, you were fantasizing about making sweet love with him, weren’t you?”
“You could tell just from that?” Ada was starting to seriously blush. “Sweetheart, I know you’re an excellent spy and all but I’m an expert on all things sexual, especially regarding you. I was able to recognize most of your kinks before you did. And this wasn’t just some fling either, from the way you were moving I could tell it was romantically intimate.” “Yes, I was thinking about a guy, but we’re not dating or romantically involved. Hell, I probably won’t see him for another couple of years and when we cross paths again it won’t be so friendly.”
“I need to know everything, give me the juicy details.” “Well the guy-” “C’mon, at least give me a first name!” Carla protested. Ada just glared, almost looking protective. “Aw, you’re actually worried for someone’s safety instead of yourself. He really must be special. Look, I’m no longer loyal to Umbrella, okay? You and your man have nothing to worry about.” “Fine. His name is Leon, he’s a pretty boy with silver hair styled after Leonardo DiCaprio, and he was a rookie cop. I saved him from a zombified doberman and posed as an FBI agent.”
“And he just bought that?” “It was his first day on the job, and I flashed a badge. Anyway we kept bumping into each other and eventually we decided to team up.” “What made you so into him?” “His pureness and resolve. At first I thought he was just stupidly naive, especially when I came across a father and his infected daughter. I was going to put her down, but Leon assured me the father would do the right thing. Sure enough, he did. As if that wasn’t enough, he was angry at me for hiding the truth from the father, and angry at Umbrella for causing the outbreak. What really sealed the deal though, was he admitted helping families like them was the reason he joined the force. That statement made me realize what a good man he was, how head over heels I was for him, and how it was an impossible dream. Or so I thought…” “There’s still hope?”
“Some. Later he was so worried about me since I was injured and I had to land a kiss to shut him up. However, unlike all the others, that one was real. Unfortunately things weren’t so simple, he finally got his hands on the G virus. However, Annette had told him everything. He tested me, and despite wanting to believe in me so badly, he knew I was a bioterrorist. I couldn’t kill him, but I still drew my gun to see if I could get him back down and surrender. He saw through my bluff though, and challenged me to shoot him. I couldn’t though. That’s when things really went to shit, Annette shot me and the building collapsed.”
“So that’s what that scar is. Good thing she missed, she almost destroyed your right titty!” “More importantly Carla, I’m still alive. Poor Leon thinks otherwise though, he tried to pull me up but ended up dropping me. I knew I’d probably survive the fall but he had no such assurances. I hope he’s not beating himself over it.” “Ada, in all honesty he probably is, and will continue to torture himself over the guilt of thinking about you. But that’s only temporary. Wait for however long you need to, then find him and engage in the best makeup sex of all time. Also send me a video if possible.” Carla finished with a perverted grin.
“That’s it, I’m out of here. Thanks for the examination.” Ada sharply announced. “That’s the other thing I love about you, Ada. This entire conversation, you were naked without ever considering getting dressed. I wish my other patients were so thoughtful.” Ada blushed immensely, proceeded to get dressed in record speed without a word, then grabbed the clipboard of notes regarding urine health concerns. “So you remembered, good for you! Well, do come again sweetie. I’m really looking forward to seeing you piss yourself again.”
With that the spy was gone. So many thoughts were going through her head, from the examination, Carla’s seductively taunting words, and reading the list. All of this was distracting Ada to such an extent that she accidentally bowled right into a younger girl, sending them both tumbling. They both yelped in surprise and pain. Papers from the clipboard had detached and scattered everywhere.
“Oh I’m so sorry, I’ll help you with that!” the sweet voice replied. Ada noticed that the person she had run into was a petite, Chinese girl with beautiful green eyes and a pixie haircut. This must have been the bedwetter Carla had been referring to earlier. More importantly, the spy could tell that she was Rebecca Chambers, former STARS medic and one of the few survivors of the Spencer Mansion Incident. She looked a little older than her file photo, although that made sense since time had passed. The medic was currently twenty two.
“Oh it’s fine, no need to worry, just carry on.” Ada assured, not wanting the former police medic to discover her new kink. Unfortunately for her, Rebecca was already bending down, unintentionally giving the whole room a view of her small but curvy ass which was being hugged by jean shorts. Thankfully Ada seemed to be the only one paying attention, as the other few patients in the waiting room were occupied with their own issues. Rebecca handed Ada back her clipboard and she was about to thank the younger girl when she noticed something. The notes had been perfectly arranged in their original order. That, coupled with the fact that Rebecca was sporting a blush and sheepish grin, meant she had read every word. She probably understood the context as well due to her medical degree. Ada was fuming in anger and embarrassment.
“You...you read my EXAMINATION NOTES?!” “I’m sorry don’t hurt me!!”
To be continued…
Ending Note: Well I bet you’re all wondering, just what the hell was that?! Honestly I’m just as bewildered as you are. To provide context, this story was always going to be a medical examination story, there was no question about that. However, the first issue was who would be Ada’s gynecologist/examiner? I was originally going to have it be a regular and realistic exam with some random dude or woman but figured while I love reading realistic gyno literotica, my writing isn’t anywhere near talented or polished enough to pull it off. I needed it to be more personal, and sexier too. That meant the doctor had to be an established character. It wasn’t going to be Albert, I previously established while they hook up from time to time, even Ada wasn’t going to risk angering an extremely dangerous guy she wasn’t even romantically interested in. Annette Birkin certainly wasn’t going to be the doctor either, she’s dead and even if I wanted her alive the two can’t even be in the same room together without things getting violent, much less sexually involved. Rebecca didn’t even occur to me until I wrote her in the ending, although I’m kind of glad about that which I’ll explain later. I think one of the Outbreak characters might have been a doctor but I clearly don’t know any of them well enough to attempt working them in this fic. I don’t know Carla Radames well either, but for starters I know her name, along with a couple other details about her. In addition, an Ada x Carla fanfiction gave me the inspiration for her base, flirty personality. As for the humiliation fetish she had, well that’s when things started spiraling. Originally it was just going to be a simple joke played for laughs; something along the lines of Carla saying something like “I bet it must be frustrating that I can make you beg for that sweet release” and Ada replying with “Whatever just give it to me” or something like that. The context was basically implying Ada is a normally dominant woman who is forced to be submissive because Carla is the only one who knows and can give her what she wants, which is something she gloats about. However, my mind just went on autopilot and created this out of pocket fantasy where Ada and Carla share an emotionally sadomasochistic tryst. Also here is the full of list Omorashi health concerns: https://www.omorashi.org/topic/48231-omorashi-safety-tips/ |
[No resemblance to real people or entities is intended or implied. Copyright © 2021 [email protected]]
Failing one's exams, Bella pondered to herself as she peered into her tiny wardrobe, was a foolish thing to do. Spending more time with her boyfriend than revising had been her downfall, and the disappointing results published a few weeks before had precipitated a crisis in her life. Orphaned at age 12, now turned 18 years old, and with her social security benefits withdrawn if she left education, she had nowhere to live once her university offer had been withdrawn. She'd quickly applied for any job she could hope to get without qualifications, and had recently landed her first full time job: as a parcel courier, driving a white van door to door for an online retailer.
She didn't expect it to be exhilarating or enjoyable, but paying for a roof over her head and basic essentials meant she would give it her all until she could retake or something better turned up. The Sunday evening before her first day, she laid out her clothes she would wear to travel to work in the morning, knowing that she'd return home in her new uniform with several spare uniforms for her to launder at home as required. She added "Washer/drier" to her aspirational shopping list for the small flat she'd managed to rent with the financial help of an ageing aunt.
She wasn't very keen on her direct line manager after he'd begun her induction. A middle aged pot-bellied man, he'd sorted her uniforms, taking too much interest in her clothes size for her liking, and checked her driving licence before explaining that her first day would be spent shadowing an experienced driver to learn the ropes. The second day she'd drive the route with the same driver, and the third day she'd be on her own.
Gareth, the driver allocated for her to shadow, was much nicer. He seemed to care about new starters and as they drove from the depot out to his regular round, he said that he inducted most of them. His round was one of the furthest from the depot, so they had time to get to know each other and for Bella to learn the basics from him before the first delivery. She was shocked to learn that on average he had 90 deliveries per day to make, and was not expected to go back to depot until he'd attempted them all. He described the company's rules on how long to wait on each doorstep before deeming the recipient wasn't at home, and other policies and procedures Bella would need to follow. He said that on average days he'd leave the depot before 8am and get back about 9pm, but near Christmas and during January sales when "all hell breaks loose in online shopping" it would take longer despite having more drivers and vans on.
Bella took interest in following Gareth to every doorstep and asked questions about how he could tell single rural properties with no signage were the ones he needed to deliver to. By 1pm she was starving after her most active morning for several years, and was distraught to see that Gareth had brought a packed lunch with him. "I didn't think of that," she moaned to him, but he assured her that he'd be stopping for "a much needed whizz" on his way to the next delivery after his lunch so she could buy something in the shop near the public toilets he would use. Bella hadn't drunk anything since breakfast as she hadn't thought to bring anything with her, so didn't need to pee much, but took the opportunity and bought a small lunch and a bottle of water. She ate while he drove and delivered the next couple of parcels.
By the time they got back to the depot Bella needed to pee quite noticeably, which was hardly surprising after about 7 hours - a much longer time than she usually went without peeing, but she didn't think much more of it.
On her second day Bella managed to avoid the nasty boss completely before meeting Gareth, and had come prepared with a flask of tea, a packed lunch and a refillable bottle of water for the afternoon. It took the whole journey from the depot to the same distant round for her to get used to driving the large parcel van, much bigger than any car she'd learnt to drive in.
Although delivering to different addresses the round roughly involved the same route and so Bella was extremely grateful to let her flask of tea out when they had the opportunity at public toilets around lunchtime. She had needed to go badly but not enough to complain about it to Gareth. She was not familiar with needing to pee badly, and so didn't think through the consequences of drinking her water bottle during the afternoon. Being more hydrated despite having had the lunchtime pee Bella found the whole experience horrendous during the later afternoon. She struggled to drive safely, fidgeting wildly but continuing with the job, and couldn't hide it from Gareth. He was used to seeing new drivers suffer like this and didn't bother to mention anything.
There was no way Bella would squat to pee in public so she determinedly held on until they arrived back at the depot. She ran to the ladies without even parking the van, sheepishly returning to apologise to Gareth and thank him for showing her the ropes. Tomorrow she'd be alone, allocated her own van and assigned a new route.
It was on the third day that Bella realised her liquid intake was what was making her suffer. She could feel that her bladder was extremely full, bulging beneath her uniform, and was mortified that the dark blue trousers didn't entirely hide the first leak. The first time she had even slightly wet herself since childhood. The problem was exacerbated by the new route, as Bella didn't see any public toilets all day.
She found herself squirming on her customer's doorsteps as she waited for them to open their doors; struggling to keep still once they did; not staying long enough for those that appeared not to be in and eventually abandoning her round to dash back to the depot. She again parked badly and ran to the loos, where her boss met her after she'd relieved herself and reprimanded her for not delivering a high enough percentage of parcels and for the complaints from customers that she had rung their doorbells then left in a hurry.
A similar pattern developed for the first few days that she worked alone, though Bella gradually reduced her drinks intake and got further through her round each day, managing to wait longer after ringing doorbells and reducing the complaints her boss reported.
On her first day off after six days of work Bella met a group of her single friends and as usual they went out for dinner and drinks. As a result she was slightly hungover for the start of her second work week, so she took the flask of tea and water bottle knowing she'd need them if she wanted to start feeling better. There were slightly fewer parcels to deliver for some reason so despite the tea and water, having started slightly dehydrated Bella coped well for the morning and some of the afternoon. As the day wore on though she felt the familiar desperate need to pee, her bladder full and totally distracting her, like that second day with Gareth had been. Because of the smaller number of parcels that day, Bella thought she could cope and was determined to finish so that her boss had no reason to criticise her.
With five parcels left in the back of her van, she was at her absolute limit, driving with one hand between her legs and not even trying to hide her fidgeting even when making deliveries. The penultimate parcel was a large TV, so lifting the box would have been a struggle for a petite woman like Bella at any time, but the effort to heave it onto a trolley almost pushed her over the edge to a catastrophic wetting. Bella hid in the back of the van clutching herself to regain a little control before finishing the delivery. Alas, the householder wasn't in and so she had to reload the huge box, suffering agony as her pee exceeded her bladder's ability to contain it. To her relief only a tiny leak escaped, barely visible on her trousers but not very ladylike, she thought.
When she attempted the final delivery of the day to a house she hadn't visited before, she found it gated with an intercom. Pausing to use the intercom tested her bladder again, still at her absolute limit but aware that this was her last drop before she could rush back to the comfort of the ladies loo at the depot. Once the gates were opened by the tinny voice at the other end of the intercom, Bella found herself proceeding along a posh gravel drive which widened to a large circular parking area, an Aston Martin parked at the front of a grand Elizabethan mansion next to a Bentley and a Porsche.
This one was a small thin parcel, which she used to fan herself as she stood on the doorstep waiting for the householder. As so many times in the last week she had now reached the final stages of desperation where the body involuntarily sweats. The door finally opened and Bella was delighted to see a famous footballer, quite a good looking one if she was honest about it, very well dressed, ready to receive his delivery.
Usually she just handed over the parcel and left without saying anything, especially if she was desperate to pee, so she offered the parcel to the guy with her arm outstretched, but a shiver of desperation ran through her as she did so, making her arm shake. The footballer noticed her fidgeting legs and slight bend at the waist as she fought her bladder, plus the telltale goosebumps on her skin that sometimes manifest at the advanced stages of desperation, and to her horror asked her about it.
"Do you need to pee?"
Bella wouldn't usually admit it to a stranger, but thought he must be going to offer her use of his loo so replied with relief in her voice "You have no idea!"
"Would you like to come in?"
Bella was trained by her employer never to do so for safety and security reasons, but also knew her van had a tracker so she could be found. Plus would a famous face risk getting caught doing something perverted? Her bursting bladder won, and she accepted without a word, stepping forward through the grand door.
She expected him to point her at a toilet so didn't immediately ask where it was; instead, he shocked her, asking "Would you like to earn some extra money?"
She didn't like the sound of that, replying "I just need to pee so desperately, can you show me your loo please?"
"Well that's the point, I'll pay you £100 per minute that you hold on from now," he checked his expensive looking watch "4:47pm, until you give in."
"What?! What? No, just let me pee and I'll leave!" Bella screeched, the guy was a pervert, she'd never heard of anything like it, but knew footballers earned megabucks so presumably he was used to buying whatever he desired.
"£200"
Bella stared at him, taking in his good looks, his shapely thighs evident through his trousers. All the while she was shaking with desperation, her tea and water more than ready to be let out. Her bladder was a far more urgent issue than her money worries, but at the back of her mind £200 sounded a lot of money.
Still wiggling, breathing slowly to avoid squeezing her bladder any more than absolutely necessary, gasping at times, leaving no doubt as to her predicament, Bella continued to stare at him. Incredulous that anyone would say or offer such a thing, never mind this famous, and she had to admit quite good looking, footballer would do so.
He was studying her body language, but glancing at his watch as she stared at him. At last he seemed satisfied with something on the watch. "You've made £200 already, well done" he said simply.
Bella gasped, the surprise at him offering the money repeated. She stammered "How, h h h how long.... Long would you make me... make me wait?
He grinned. He knew he'd got her now. He pretended to count something on his fingers then replied "I'm good for about 100 days at £200 a minute on this season's wage, but by the looks of you you might not last that long!" he paused. "Would you like to sit down, it might help?"
She whimpered, too desperate to think, too desperate to move, too shocked to demand a toilet.
The footballer bent down, picked Bella up under her knees and shoulders, and carried her towards one of the doors out of the grand hall. Her body, naturally bent in his arms, squashed her bladder making her squeal "Don't do that, I'll pee!" He could feel her rhythmic fidgeting even as he carried her.
The room turned out to be a lounge, a huge TV dominated one wall, a natural stone fireplace another, a huge corner sofa in the middle of the room. The guy dropped her on to one end of the sofa, which remarkably didn't shake her sphincter's clench loose, and encouraged her to lie back, to give her bladder room to expand.
"I recommend you try to keep still, come to terms with the need rather than letting it be urgent. When you psychologically can master it, can let your bladder know you're the boss and it's just doing it's job, you'll make a lot more money." He paused, letting her take in what he'd said. "I have an app, hold on," he laughed at his own pun, taking his phone out of his pocket. The TV flicked on, displaying his phone screen. The app had a counter, which read 3 minutes 24 seconds in very large text, and underneath the number £600.
"Are you incentivising me to hold longer? Is thi... this," she paused, let out a very rapid breath, and tried again "Is this prostitution?"
"No, it's a transaction for money that incentivises you not to pee, but there's no sexual connotations, so it's not prostitution. Do you need money?"
"You have no idea," Bella repeated, "but nothing like as much as I need a toilet. This is insane, I've never needed to pee this much, even this week in this new job..." she trailed off, watching the clock hit 4 minutes and the indicator increase to £800, but encouraged by her benefactor, she told the story of her agonising induction to driving a delivery van. As she did so, her fidgeting never ceased, but describing the desperate incidents of her week at work seemed to distract her enough that she could feel some level of control.
Once she finished, she changed her tone from factual to very tense "Look, you're taking a huge risk as a famous face asking me to do this, and I'm literally about to pee on your sofa, why are you risking this?"
He replied that it was an incredible turn on for him, and none of his girlfriends had big enough bladders to excite him, no matter how hard they tried, hence he was single again. He'd tried to buy the services of a couple of escorts, but they cheated, dehydrating themselves before meeting him or trying to secretly pee off a park bench through her dress after a candlelit dinner, being so desperate that it apparently hadn't occured to her that he'd hear the spattering! "So when I saw your body language I knew your plight, and I figured you could only say yes, no or be non-committal, so I'd entice you with the first £200."
Bella nodded. "It did." But what now she wondered? She couldn't comprehend waiting any longer, never having needed to go so badly before. His reply was that she should do whatever it takes, and that he'd noticed talking about it seemed to distract her, which she had to admit might be the case. Thus with his prompting they explored her bladder history, any situations she'd been in as an adult woman that had pushed her comfort.
Before she knew it 28 minutes had passed, and she had £5,600 on the TV. "You're my last delivery, but I have to go back to the depot before it closes. While I feel a bit more in control now, I have to leave, and I'm going to pee before I get back in my van, where is your loo?"
"Please wait another 100 seconds to get to 30 minutes," he begged. She fidgeted more violently again, lying on her back but twisting her whole lower body all over the sofa. They were the longest 100 seconds of her life. She watched the clock intently, wishing he had set it to show seconds as well as minutes. The moment the clock hit 30 minutes he stood up, and beckoned her.
"It's this way, you've earned it."
Bella peed in private, grateful for the most enjoyable relief she'd ever felt. When she opened the toilet door, the footballer had a huge wadge of cash in his hand, and gave it to Bella. "£6,000 plus a tip, call it a new starter bonus." He pushed his luck. "Same time tomorrow?"
Bella laughed but shook her head, thanked him for the money and legged it. It had been the weirdest experience she'd ever had, as well as the most uncomfortable, and she didn't want ever to see him again.
At the depot, her manager commented that she had parked better, which made Bella smile that she hadn't arrived back bursting to pee for once. When she got home, she immediately counted the cash she'd 'earned'. The tip was huge, he'd given her another £6,000, £12,000 in total. Equivalent to £400 per minute.
---
The next day Bella made her flask of tea and filled her water bottle without thinking; it was the habit of a lifetime to keep drinks with her and stay hydrated, and the previous days hangover had reinforced the habit. She suffered similar desperation as she had with the footballer, thinking to herself at one point while squeezing her thighs together at traffic lights how much he'd like to know about it.
The day after that, his address was on the schedule earlier in Bella's round. She was dreading seeing him again, but delighted to discover he was not home. She was relieved not to have to see or talk to him and hence avoid having to decline any strange offers he might make today.
On her next day off, Bella splashed her cash, buying drinks for all her friends and a few hotter guys in the bar she was visiting. She'd never had so much money in her life. Her friends asked how she'd come into so much extra cash, making Bella blush red with embarrassment, but she claimed it was just to celebrate her first pay cheque from the new job. In fact, she'd paid off all her debts, including her aunt, bought the extras like the washer/drier for her flat, and enjoyed an occasional take away dinner. The £10,000 had rapidly dwindled, but she felt in control of her finances and her life for the first time in her adulthood.
The next day while in the depot, much more hungover, nursing a cup of coffee and a subsequent tea while her parcels were loaded to her van, Bella noticed another parcel addressed to 'her footballer', and again it was nearly last on her route. When she delivered the parcel before his, the mobile app the retailer she delivered for used to administer her deliveries pinged up a notification: the parcel had special delivery instructions which read 'Please bring extra if you can'. Innocuous to the average reader, but laden with innuendo for Bella. He wanted her to arrive with an even fuller bladder. That wouldn't be a problem: she was already really desperate, by far the most desperate she had been since doing this godforsaken job. She'd leaked badly over an hour before this drop, so badly that she'd had to turn the air vents in the van down to point at her crotch to try and dry the wet spot a bit between deliveries. But Bella being Bella, she would never pee in a layby beside the van. Her upbringing wouldn't allow her to consider it. But she had no intention of indulging him again, as far as Bella was concerned she'd made more than enough to be able to tell him where to go if he asked again.
After ringing the grand doorbell Bella was prepared, and when the door opened and he stood there resplendent in the clothes she'd delivered to him on the previous occasion, she immediately said "No! I'm not doing it again" to him. Her fidgeting was uncontrollable and much more pronounced, so he knew what state she was in. He mock grimaced at her stern refusal, pouted, then simply responded "£1,000 per minute?"
Bella was in a quandary. She'd hated the experience of holding her pee every day, especially that day in those circumstances, hated that she'd entertained the idea, hated herself for wavering again now. But she did love having the money. If she could last 30 minutes again for this man with his weird interest, she'd earn £30,000, more than the delivery job paid all year!
He could see she was thinking. "I loved what you did for me, I can't get it out of my head. You made me very happy, and you did a tremendous job, far better than I expected. I want to reward you and encourage you to do it again. Won't you try it? How bad can it be for that sort of money?" He hesitated, then pressed on, clearly having prepared this speech "If you like, we could make this a regular thing, I'll order from your company regularly so you can be sure of earning from me if you promise to be full when you arrive here. What do you say?"
Bella had contorted her legs into a sort of spiral, utterly unable to keep still and bouncing awkwardly with both hands in her crotch while he spoke. "I can't today, I'm much more desperate, I leaked for the first time an hour ago. Just let me pee, please, please. It's unbearable."
In reply he handed her £1,000 in £50 notes. "You've earned this already arguing with me, do you want more?"
"No I want a pee, I'm bursting, can't you see?!"
"Just what I like, come on in" he chuckled. Bella resisted. She threw the parcel at him and turned to leave, but he grabbed her arm. He immediately let go, realising his action could be badly misconstrued. "I'm sorry, the moment and my desire to see you fight your bladder for a few minutes got the better of me. I understand if you want to walk away and never see me again."
Bella's instinctive Britishness got the better of her, replying "No, no, it's not an issue, just let me go to the bloody bathroom before I wet myself."
He replied "£2,000 per minute if you wait in your underwear until you leak; the moment you do, you can go and pee. You know where the bathroom is, if you prefer, just go straight away now and have £1,000 for each of the..." he checked his watch "3 minutes you've been here."
Bella acquiesced at the increased offer, walking stiffly to his living room and perching delicately on the same spot on his sofa. "Will you deduct money if I wet your sofa?"
He smiled. "No but you'd be foolish to give in; remember, mind over matter, you're an adult woman, you can make your bladder last a little longer if you want the money enough, and I think you're doing brilliantly. I know I'm enjoying it."
"I don't know," Bella wriggled as she replied, "this is insanely bad. I was hungover this morning so drank more even before leaving the depot. It is definitely the worst I have ever had to pee."
By literally clamping both her hands between her legs, alternately sitting and wriggling then pacing around the room, Bella made it through 3 incredibly difficult minutes of holding her bladder, keeping it sealed shut for the guy's pleasure. She could see that he was turned on, but was so desperate that all she could do was concentrate on herself, on staying dry. Any other thought was dismissed by her brain before it had time to form, all her energy was going in to keeping herself waiting a little longer, to earn more money. She was sweating with the effort of keeping it all in, in that classic sign of late-stage desperation.
"Take those uniform trousers off, let me see your underwear is still dry if you want the £2k a minute."
The clock read 7 minutes, £7,000 or £14,000 flashed through her mind. Bella panted and puffed through her reply: "I guess I'm this far in to it, but you'll have to bend down to pull them off, I can't squash my bladder." With some swift hand movements, Bella moved her hands inside her trousers so he gently removed the trousers for her, in a bizarrely gentlemanly fashion considering the circumstances. Somehow he didn't even touch her skin. He updated his app and the TV instantly showed £14,000 alongside 7 minutes 48 seconds.
After yet another particularly strong spasm she reluctantly said "I don't think I can last any longer. I'm about to fail."
His response was to distract her. "Tell me about what you've drunk today, you do seem more desperate than last time."
Bella did so, finding the distraction did help her hold with a little more confidence. She was slightly less fidgety by the time she finished explaining.
"See, I told you, it's a mind game this, you'll last a lot longer if you win the battle mentally, your body can physically do whatever you tell it. It's like elite athletes, they win or lose on the mental battle with their opponent, plus lots of training."
Bella tried to nod through the violent shaking she was suddenly experiencing, both hands still clenched between her legs. She stood, yet again, and paced her way around behind the enormous sofa. The footballer didn't take his eyes off her, twisting in his seat to follow her tortured walk. She managed a quip "Do you think this is a mental battle against," she paused, blew air out through pursed lips, bobbed down and up again, twice, then screwed her face up at her tormentor before continuing "oh God that was close, against the urine or my bladder?"
"Oooh good question, no-one's ever asked me that before. What do you think?"
Bella thought the battle was with her bladder. The urine was just a bit part player. She'd have the same bladder another day but different water molecules "or whatever they are called, I failed science!"
He nodded, unable to argue with that logic, but spotted the underlying point. "Are you saying there'll be another time?" Bella knew she had come this far so she might as well earn the money, it wasn't really doing any harm other than some bladder pain, taking some real effort on her part, but she wasn't afraid of hard work, not any more. But she also realised that the next time she needed to negotiate; so far, all the money offers had been made by him. She must seem like a schmuck, stood nearly naked, in his lounge, visibly fighting her body, for the amount of money he was willing to offer rather than what she demanded.
"I'll tell you after I let this out. Soon!" She grimaced again, sitting yet again. The clock showed 9 minutes 33 seconds at this point.
"If you make it to half an hour," he pointed at the clock on the screen, "I'll make it £10k per minute for the whole time you've been here."
Bella screeched, shook her head, wiggled her foot, bent forward and begged her bladder to obey. But it had other ideas, she felt a large leak get past her hands, undoubtedly wetting her panties. She removed her hands for him to see. He stared intently, before she stood, ran for the door and the toilet on the other side of the hall. He calmly followed, admiring her slightly damp rear, calling after her "We'll call it ten minutes at £2k per minute, well done!"
Bella was in the loo for quite a while, trying to dry her underwear on toilet paper but failing. Eventually she emerged, sheepishly, silently, put her uniform trousers back on and asked for her money.
"I have it here. But tell me about next time first."
"I was thinking that I need the money, I like having the money to spend, so can we do this on a more planned basis. On my day off? I'll come over for a couple of hours if you can pick me up, I only have the work van to drive. You can watch me drink and hold for hours, but I get the minute rate for the whole time. Deal?"
Clearly he thought this was a great idea "How many hours?"
"I last peed over 10 hours ago, can you afford 600 minutes at £10k a minute?"
And so the deal for her next visit was done. He had warned as she walked back to her van to finish her round that at that rate, he couldn't afford to see her so frequently, and nor could he pay cash, so could she set up a business to invoice him for her services, making it tax deductible for him!
---
Another chapter may follow.
Edited July 21, 2021 by holdit247
Added disclaimer
(see edit history) |
Here is a bit of reader insert bed wetting fiction. I hope it’s enjoyable to someone. If you like it, please let me know. It motivates me to write more.
*originally posted (and ignored) on AO3 under the pen name StOrY1.
————-
“Heeeey! (Y/N)! Is that it? Did you finish your last test?” Your roommate offers you a grin and a double thumbs up as you plod exhaustedly into the room. You ignore her, flopping face down on the bed with a groan of exhaustion. After one week you’ll graduate from college. Right now, having pulled two consecutive all nighters to finish up your senior thesis and study for your physics final, the only thing you want is to sleep.
Your roommate crouches at the end of your bed, shaking you playfully by the shoulder. “Come on,” she says. “You can’t pass out without a celebratory drink.”
“Watch me,” you mutter, but you know it’s no use. You sit up, rubbing your eyes and pushing your hair (greasy from a week of being too busy to shower) out of your face. You’ve never been awake for this long before. Robotically, you take the beer that your roommate thrusts into your hand. You down it in three huge gulps, hoping that’ll make her go away.
Instead, she hands you another beer.
“How was the physics final anyway?”
“I swear to god, I think I was hallucinating,” you complain. Actually, you still feel that way now. The beer in your hand is dream-like. It’s more like something that is happening to you rather than something you’re actively doing. It’s like, the mouth that is opening is yours and the throat the beer is going down is yours, but what do you really have to do with that in the grand scheme of things.
“I’m sure you aced it like you did everything else,” your roommate says. “Seriously, in the last four years I haven’t seen you screw up anything.”
You shrug. “I guess I screw up as much as anybody else,” you say, swallowing back a burp.
“Like fuck you do. Have another beer.”
The third beer is the charm that gets your roommate to leave you alone. You curl up in bed, not bothering to take off your shoes. You’re just so tired! All you want to do is sleep, yet it’s hard for reasons your exhaustion numbed brain can’t figure out. You shift back and forth in bed, aware of a growing pressure and discomfort in your lower belly. It’s almost an urgency, but you’re way too sleepy to feel urgent about anything.
Somehow you drift off, only to be awakened a short time later by a pang in your bladder. <i>What?</i> you think groggily. Then: Oh, never mind. The discomfort resolves itself. Your dorm room is usually chilly, but you grow warm. The comfy warmth starts at your crotch, and seeps down your thighs and up your back. You’re awake enough to know that this will be a problem, but not awake enough to care. You were a bed wetter late into your teens, but now you’re twenty-four, and disbelieving that your body is betraying you like this.
Oh well, it feels nice to relax and let your body do what it wants, especially after fighting it to stay awake as long as you did. This is probably just a stupid dream. No way you’re really wetting the bed as a college senior.
As though from far away, you overhear your roommate and somebody else giggling. Whatever. You fall fully back asleep before you finish peeing.
Even a soaking wet bed isn’t enough to keep you from sleeping like a rock for the next six hours. When you open your eyes, the light is off and somebody has laid a blanket over you and your wet jeans. You shiver. Your head hurts. Your priority should be to clean yourself up, but all you really want is to be warm so you can sleep. You sigh in discontent, and take the laziest way out— you deliberately wet yourself again. It’s not like things can get worse, and at least now you’re warm enough to go back to sleep. You’ll face the consequences tomorrow.
Said consequences come in the form of a drenched mattress, skin that is sticky with piss, and a roommate who smirks at you as you sit up and survey the considerable damage you did to yourself during the night.
“I take back what I said about you never screwing up,” your roommate says, not unkindly.
You hide your face in your hands, unable to meet her eyes. Your face is hot with embarrassment, though the rest of you is cold with last night’s stale urine.
“Was... was anybody else here?” you ask, thinking back to the laughter that you either heard or dreamt you heard.
“A few people,” your roommate admits. “But don’t worry about it. Nobody hates you or anything. Honestly, I think we were kind of relieved.”
“Relieved?” you ask.
“Yeah. You’re like our resident super-human, with your grades and everything. Now that we’ve seen you wet the bed, we know you’re just a normal person who makes mistakes like the rest of us.”
You’re not sure what to think of that. All you know is that, as you stand up to take your walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up, you feel humbled, stupid, and small. Your drenched jeans cling to your skin, and you decide never to screw with your sleep schedule so badly again. One accident you can live down, but it’s not something you want to make a habit out of.
Or is it?
It had felt nice to stop struggling and just let things happen for once. |
⚠️Warning!
This story contains female messing. If that is not your cup of tea, please be warned.
Foreword
I came across this collection of stories on a Swedish site called sexiganoveller (Eng. Sexy short stories). The site seems a bit defunked, but some of the stores were really good. I really liked this one in particular and thought everyone should be able to enjoy it, so I decided to translate it into English. Some parts have minor changes to work a bit better with English. I also changed the names of the characters, from Elisabet to Beth and Emilia to Emily. It seemed more appropriate. The original author of this story and the follow-ups is PantypoopSverige. I will try to get the next part translated as soon as possible. Please enjoy.
Beth messes herself on purpose: Part 2
Beth wakes up suddenly. Her stomach still feels a little upset.
She's looks at the clock, it's 9:17 A.M. Her first lecture starts at 10 so she has to get up immediately. She's hungry, but doesn't really have time for breakfast, she decides on yogurt to try to calm her bubbly stomach. While she's eating, she feel the need to let out a little gas. However, she accidentally does more than that.
She doesn't realize it until it is too late. It just comes, completely silent. She feels how the back of her panties suddenly gets hot and wet. She remembers the girl last night and she remembers that she had a dream about pooping herself. In this moment Beth is making a life-changing decision. She's gonna stop holding herself whenever she need to go. If she needs to go, she will just go, wherever she might be.
She finish her yogurt. Her stomach is still upset, but she don't have to go more. The lecture begins in 30 minutes. She hurries to the shower. The dirty panties end up in a plastic bag. She puts on a pair of light blue, rather tight hipsters, jeans and a t-shirt.
Beth knows that this won't be the last time she poop herself today. Her stomach has already decided that she will have about 15 seconds to find a toilet when the time comes, and when the time comes, she might as well ignore it.
Beth walks quickly towards the university and arrives with a good margin. Takes a seat quite far back in the lecture hall where there are almost no others, and picks up the computer. She don't really know why, but as soon as she is connected she googles "pooping yourself". It only gives a lot of hits on forums for parents of young children. She tries "Poop panties" and now she gets more results, including one that says "I poop my pants on purpose". That was technically what she did last night. She reads a bit in what seems to be a forum.
- "DID YOU DO IT ON PURPOSE?" She hears a voice loudly whisper in her ear.
That literally scared the shit out of her. Her stomach is still bad, and when she jumps from the scare, she poops, although only a little. Her best friend Emily has sat down in the row behind her and is now looking amused and surprised at her.
- "For fuck's sake! You scared the shit out of me!”, Beth exclaims.
- "Did I really?", Emily says with a smile.
- "Yes!", Beth says, and adds in a whisper
- "you scared the shit OUT of me, literally".
- "SERIOUSLY?!" Emily whispers very loudly.
- "What's wrong with you, Beth?"
- ”Schhhh! I just checked the internet a bit.”
- "Do you watch people who deliberately go number two in their pants?"
Emily looks at Beth with a hesitant expression.
- "So... You know when you saw me yesterday, it wasn't really an accident..."
Emily is quiet.
- "I was a little... you know..." Beth looks around, no one else is close by.
- "I was a bit... loose.. like in my stomach, although I could easily have held it until I was home."
Emily laughs and whispers:
- “I can not believe you actually pooped! Why didn't you just hold it?”
- "Yeah I know, but isn't it quite.. you know.. unnecessary?" Beth asks.
- "I was sick to my stomach and I mean it didn't really feel necessary to hold it."
Emily looks completely confused.
- "But wasn't it kind of really messy and disgusting? ..and the smell too!"
- "It wasn't that bad, honestly." Beth says.
- "It was actually kind of... nice."
Emily laughs in disbelief, but she still have kind of a curious look on her face.
- "You must be completely mental Beth."
Beth continues to think about how it felt.
- "It probably just felt nice because my stomach was upset. It just kind of came. I didn't really have to push."
Emily has a mixed facial expression now.
- "The chili kebab?" she asks.
- "I think so," says Beth with a smile.
There is a pizza place near the university that has a specialty which is kebab with a very hot dressing and a lot of garlic. At the university, it is known for upsetting stomachs.
- "How's your stomach now?" Emily asks.
- "I'd say it's somewhere between OK and bad, since I accidentally pooped a little when you scared me." Beth says with shame.
- "So you have poop in your panties now?", Emily asks with gaping mouth.
- "Well, it's just a little... like, I can feel it's sticky between my butt cheeks." Beth feels her face turning red as she says it.
She decides not to be ashamed, and to tell Emily what she decided this morning.
- "I have decided never to hold again."
Emily sits down beside her.
- “So you're saying you will just just poop yourself at any time?"
- "Yea, I think so.. Or at least when I really need to go.. If I'm close to a toilet, I can just go there like normal, but if I'm not, I guess I would just as well go in my pants."
- "What if you need to pee then?" Emily asks.
- "I don't know. It shows more. But if I'm alone, it's not really necessary to hold the pee either. Plus it dries quickly in the summer heat."
- "You're either mentally ill or possibly a genius, I don't know.", Emilia says with a concerned smirk.
The lecture begins. The topic is not that interesting and Beth continues to read in the forum.
Emily reads with growing interest over her shoulder. Suddenly Beth feels a pressure in her lower region. She realizes what that means. She still has a bad stomach, if she farts she may risk pooping again. But she has promised herself not to hold it and the pressure is growing fast.
- "Emily!", she whispers.
Emily turns to her.
- "I'm pretty sure I'm gonna shit myself in about 15 seconds."
- "For real?", Emily asks with wide eyes.
- "Yes, I have a building pressure in my stomach and I've had diarrhea since last night"
- "Okay.. okay, okay. Ehrm. Can you... or.." Emily gets very excited and she blushes a bit.
- "I just lift myself up a little and let it come, right?" Beth asks.
- "Yes! Do it! Will it sound anything?"
- "I don't know, but it is coming now!"
- "Wait, I'm going to record this!" Emily exclaims, fumbling with her iPhone.
- "Hurry up! It's coming in my pants now!" Beth exclaims with a painful expression.
Emily starts filming just when Beth lets go. They can hear wet bubbly sounds, as Beth lets out a slight gasp of relief. For Beth however, the feeling of it is so much more noticeable. It starts with a silent fart that gets hotter and hotter until it finally feels wet. The wet heat spreads beneath her, and at first feels just like very hot air. Then Beth realizes that it is not air at all but simply runny hot poop that has spread in the panties and which now covers a surface about as big as a coaster.
Everything is over in a few seconds. Beth has pooped herself again.
- "Holy shit!" Emily exclaims in a whisper.
- "You crapped yourself in the middle of a lecture!"
Beth says nothing, but slowly lowers herself into her chair. The wet, hot mass sticks to the skin and is pressed out over her ass. She breathes heavily as her heart races from the sensation.
- "Was it... nice?" Emily asks.
- "Yes! As hell. I thought it would mostly be like a wet fart."
- "But… it wasn't?" Emily asks curiously.
- "I just let go a pint of diarrhea in my pants!"
They look at each other and then burst out laughing. The lecturer is interrupted by the noise, and suddenly everyone in the hall is looking at them.
- "Excuse us!", said Beth.
- "We just had a small accident!" Emily adds, and they both explode in giggles.
The lecturer continues.
- "Beth!" Emily whispers.
- "What?"
- "I'm a little hungry .. would you like a.. Chili kebab or something?"
Beth looks at Emily who looks very sneaky.
- "Yea, I guess. But you know what it does to stomachs."
- "So?"
- "My stomach would NEVER get upset from it" she adds and winks with one eye.
Beth needs to fart again, although it's not a fart this time either. She wonders what it will be like to stand up.
To be continued.. |
Author's Note: Takes place sometime pre-Captain America: Winter Soldier. Idk if any of you are familiar with the Hydra Trash Party subgenre but like, I guess this is technically HTP-adjacent. Comments are appreciated.
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The radio buzzed. Pierce. I'm stuck in traffic, he said, voice crackling over the static airwaves. Tell the asset the rules still stand until I come back.
Rumlow glanced over at the asset, who was standing quietly in one corner, slightly bent at the waist. Into the radio he said, How long's that gonna be, sir?
Burst of static. Pierce must have sighed. I don't fucking know, he said. Just tell him if he pisses himself it's gonna be bad fuckin' news for him. 'And for you' went unspoken as an addendum. But Rumlow knew it's what Pierce meant. He said all right, because what the hell else was there to say. Then he disconnected the radio and walked over to the asset.
The asset's eyes snapped up to his. He wasn't showing any emotion, it had been too long programmed out of him, but there was a definite desperation in every line of his body which was not normally there. He was normally at parade rest at all times when not in the field or in cryo. Normally he was very, very good at standing totally straight and still.
But normally he didn't also have seven full bottles of water plus two half-pints of iced tea sitting in his bladder. Super-soldier bladder, super-soldier dose of liquid, Pierce had explained, handing the asset the bottles at the start of the mission. The asset had drained them all dutifully on the ride over, metal hand denting the plastic. When they'd arrived at the base Pierce had said he'd be gone for four hours. That the asset's secondary mission was to hold his urine until he (Pierce) had returned. This was apparently not the first time Pierce had done this shit but it was the first time he'd included Rumlow in it. Wasn't the fucking first rule of BDSM supposed to be that you didn't include other people in your own shit without their permission?
But you didn't argue with Pierce, so when Pierce told Rumlow to reinforce this rule and make sure the asset's pants stayed totally dry, Rumlow just said yes, sir. Pierce handed him another bottle of water and said that if the asset leaked, Rumlow had to give him the bottle as punishment. Rumlow opened his mouth, thought better of it, said okay again, and watched Pierce get back into his car and drive off. In the four hours since Rumlow had watched the asset take down his targets swiftly and accurately; he'd watched his posture slowly start to go fucked the longer his bladder filled; and he'd watched when the asset, after a furtive thirty seconds of glancing around, reached between his legs to grip himself with his flesh hand.
And now this.
Rumlow was pretty sure (not positive, but pretty sure) Pierce wasn't really stuck in traffic. Likely he was sitting at home with his wife and his daughter and the housekeeper having dinner and laughing and pretending he gave a shit about his daughter's schoolwork and his wife's charities and his housekeeper's green card renewal. He was probably going to radio in in another few hours and tell Rumlow the traffic had finally eased up, when what he meant was he was just getting into his car after his wife had finally fallen asleep. It was just gone six in the evening now, and Rumlow really didn't expect to see Pierce again before midnight.
He looked at the hunched, miserable form of the asset. He'd added his metal hand between his legs and both hands were twisting at the tough fabric, and his teeth were sunk into his lower lip. There was sweat beading out over his forehead. He was squirming, shifting his hips upwards in a desperate, vain attempt at getting friction. Rumlow thought if he wasn't so well-trained he'd be moaning.
"Soldat," Rumlow said, and his voice came out softer than he'd expected. It made the asset wince, for some reason, and the motion made him dig his fingers in harder. Rumlow could see the fabric of his pants wrinkling up where the metal fingers were creasing it. He reached out -- projecting intent -- and when the asset did not shrink away he touched his jaw.
"Where -- " the asset cleared his throat. He must have been in a bad way; Rumlow hadn't given him permission to speak. This seemed to register with him a moment later and his eyes snapped up to Rumlow's, frantic, scared, and so, so desperate. There were tears clinging to his lashes now. "I'm s- I'm sorry," he whispered, "I spoke out of turn -- "
"It's all right," Rumlow said, still softly. He stroked his thumb down the asset's cheek. He wondered if the asset remembered him from before. "What do you need, soldat?"
The asset's knees were bowed inwards. He was alternating between holding himself in a vice-grip and dragging his fists down his thighs. He was trying to press into Rumlow's touch but his body wouldn't stay upright. Rumlow couldn't imagine what his bladder must feel like; he could see the shape of it rounded out against his tac gear.
"I want the Secretary," the asset whimpered. "He -- I need -- " Then he did moan, hands plunging between his thighs, eyes squeezing shut. He was stepping frantically from foot to foot and Rumlow was close enough to him he could hear the soft rush of liquid in his pants.
Hell.
"No, no, no, no, no," the asset sobbed, gripping himself, twisting his metal hand around his cock. It looked painful, almost as much as the obvious effort it was taking him to shift his weight, though shifting it was something he clearly needed, his bladder extended out as far as it was, shoving his flesh palm down his thigh again and again, teeth sunk into his lower lip, turning the skin around it a pretty rose color. "C- Commander, I -- I'm being so -- I c- I can't -- "
Rumlow hoped Pierce choked on whatever the fuck fancy-ass dinner his housekeeper had cooked for him. Maybe she'd finally laced his with poison and he'd slump over his plate dead with one glassy eye turned up towards the ceiling, his tongue slithering out into his rice, vomit staining his tie. He shifted his hand down under the asset's chin, tilted his face up. The asset's eyes were squeezed shut; he was huffing out through his mouth like a frustrated animal. After a few seconds Rumlow heard another gush of liquid; he glanced down, and he saw the asset's tac gear shining where he was wetting himself.
"Hey," Rumlow said, and in spite of his anger at Pierce his voice still managed to come out gentle and quiet. The asset actually looked up at him -- tears streaking down his cheeks -- and Rumlow said, "It's all right, soldat. It's okay. He's stuck in traffic; he won't be here for a long time."
Panic flared across the asset's face and he began to babble again, but Rumlow slipped his thumb over his lips, and the asset went totally, totally still. (Well, except for his hips, which had not stopped rocking, but Rumlow wasn't going to count that.)
"He's stuck in traffic, and I'm gonna take the fall for whatever happens, all right?" With his other hand he smoothed the asset's hair back from his face. The asset whimpered at the touch; Rumlow heard liquid pattering on the ground at his feet. "You can't hold it for that long, okay? You can't. It's okay."
The asset made a broken, sobbing noise in the back of his throat. "W- What... what will... I..."
"Let me worry about my own cover story," Rumlow said gently, but the asset still looked uncertain. He was clutching himself and shifting, legs double-crossed over his hand, teeth gritted; there was piss on the ground at his feet, Rumlow could see it streaked down his thighs even through the dark, heavy fabric of his pants.
"I'm having an accident," the asset whispered, as his pants shone with fresh liquid. "I c- I couldn't -- it's an emergency, I -- "
"I know, sweetheart." Rumlow leaned in and kissed the asset's forehead, and the asset whined. "I know, it's okay. I promise. I'm not mad. You let me deal with Pierce. You just let go now, honey. Okay?"
But though Rumlow heard more liquid rushing out into the asset's pants the asset did not relax, nor did he let himself go all the way. After maybe five seconds he managed to cut the stream off. Rumlow sighed. He walked around so that he was on the asset's side, and slipped an arm around his shoulders.
"I've never told anyone this," he said, very, very softly, even though they were still totally alone, just the two of them, the way Rumlow liked it best. "But I wet myself in high school once."
The asset went still against him; his eyebrows furrowed over his nose. Rumlow could see where his flesh hand was still white-knuckling against his cock and he said,
"I was in tenth grade. Wrestling team. My stepdad and the coach -- " He paused, scoffing, feeling his face trying to heat up. He had no idea why he was embarrassed; it was just the asset, it wasn't like the asset would ever tell anyone this, it wasn't like the asset would want to tell anyone, even if he was capable. Hell, the asset wouldn't even remember this story after this mission. But it took him a second to force the rest of it out, and in that time the asset's death grip on his own crotch was relaxing just slightly.
"My stepdad had served in Vietnam with the coach," Rumlow said. "So they were both hardasses and they fuckin' hated me."
The furrow deepened. "Why?"
"Dunno. Just -- my stepdad was a fuckin' jackass. But anyway, the coach got me on the team and he said it was 'cause he saw potential but really he and my stepdad had this big plan to fuck me over, and during the first match of the season right before I went on the mat the coach gave me this huge fuckin' thing of water. Said I had to drink it all before the game to stay hydrated."
At the word hydrated the asset moaned again. Piss ran down his legs, pooling on the ground. "I can't -- Commander, I can't stop it -- "
"Shh, it's all right, honey, I told you." Rumlow kissed his temple again, reaching out to rub at his swollen bladder. He winced a little when he felt how fucking hard it was. The asset was still whining, dancing, obviously trying to cut his stream off, so Rumlow kept talking:
"They put me on last, and they put me up against this guy who took for-fucking-ever to complete his rounds 'cause he wouldn't stay pinned. By the time I actually went out on the mat my bladder was fucking aching, I had to go so, so bad -- "
The asset sobbed.
" -- but I couldn't ask for a break, 'cause the coach had told me to drink the water and I knew he was just setting me up for humiliation, him and my stepdad were watching from the stands so I just started doing my thing, could barely do any moves, just kept having to keep my thighs real close and hoping to fuck that no one noticed how I couldn't stay upright -- "
"Commander, please," the asset gasped out, and Rumlow paused, looking at the side of his face, but the asset didn't look upset (at least, not more so than he had been this whole time). He was holding himself and the fabric of his pants was completely sodden, and Rumlow leaned in, nosing at the space beneath his ear. He folded his hand over the asset's flesh one, pressing down on his cock. He murmured,
"Yeah, that's right, baby. You piss for me now, it's okay,"
and the asset let out a shuddery gasp, more sob than relief, but more relief than he'd expressed all afternoon, and then he was pissing full-force against their joined hands and into his pants. Rumlow could feel the heat and the wetness of it splashing out onto his fingers, but he kept himself still, kept softly kissing the asset's skin, finished the story as the asset moaned and leaned harder and harder into him:
"Pinned my opponent eventually. I was supposed to try and get up but he got me down on my stomach and the move was so sudden -- I wasn't paying attention, really -- I started fuckin' flooding my uniform. I tried holding it but I couldn't make it stop once it started and I just pissed myself and the mat and the guy. Everyone was so fucking mad, my stepdad hit me until I passed out when we got home, the coach kicked me off the team. Couldn't transfer schools 'cause we didn't have the money so the kids made fun of me until I fuckin' stabbed a couple of 'em behind the gym a few weeks later. Put 'em in the hospital for a while."
The asset huffed out a breathy, unsteady laugh. He was still pissing; Rumlow was taking most of his weight, but he didn't mind.
"I never had an accident again after that," he said, after a while. "But fuck... shit stays with you." He kissed the asset again, softly, but when he started to pull away the asset whined, shaking his head, and Rumlow stayed. He had always had a lot of trouble telling the asset no.
The asset pissed for a long time. Rumlow didn't think to time it but it must have been over two minutes before the stream finally slowed to a trickle, and then a few spurts, and then he was empty. After, Rumlow stayed next to him for a while, holding him, holding his body against his, holding onto his cock, nuzzling his nose against his neck. He was rocking the asset back and forth and humming to him. The asset had gone totally limp in his arms.
Eventually Rumlow coaxed the asset into taking off his soaked tac gear and putting on fresh pants. He shoved the tac gear into a bucket of soapy water while the asset wiped his thighs and his feet. Then they sat the two of them and Rumlow gave the asset a nutrition pack and stroked his hair -- the asset settling down between his legs, head on his chest, half-asleep -- until at last, close to midnight as Rumlow had predicted, Pierce showed back up. The asset tensed at the sound of his car, shrinking into himself, but Rumlow stepped smoothly in front of him as Pierce advanced, holding out one hand.
"My fault, Secretary," he said, his heart giraffe-kicking in his throat. "I just loved watching how uncomfortable he was. I know you said not to give him that extra bottle but -- "
Pierce's eyes flashed with irritation, but his mouth was twitching like he was amused. "You overfilled him?" he said, and Rumlow nodded. He'd made sure to empty the extra bottle beforehand in case Pierce checked, but Pierce just laughed. He reached out and stroked the asset's cheek, then slapped him a little.
"You stupid slut," he said, shaking his head. Then, to Rumlow: "Well, Commander -- next time, follow my orders. This is my game. I like it played a certain way. I don't like deviations. You understand?"
Rumlow nodded. He understood. The asset nodded too, and then Pierce led them both to his car. They slid together into the backseat. Pierce told the asset he had to stay awake the whole ride as punishment for fucking up the secondary mission, but Rumlow kept his hand tightly wrapped around the asset's metal one, squeezing every time his head dropped back against the seat, and letting the asset catch more than thirty seconds of sleep every time he could see Pierce was focused on the road, instead of the careful defiance going on behind him.
Edited July 23, 2021 by astralis
(see edit history) |
Story idea suggested by @Artist Nagito
At the entrance of a hotel located in the region of Alola. A Pokémon professor was getting ready to leave for some research. Her name was Professor Juniper. Hailing from the Nuvema town in the Unova region,She had decided to come to the Alola region for a vacation. As well as to study the local Pokémon.
"*Phew* it's way hotter than i thought here..." Juniper said. She had heard about the temperature in Alola, but the heat had still caught her by surprise when she first stepped out of her plane. She reached for a bottle of ice cold water in her purse. She opened the bottle and continued walking while taking a few sips from it. Once she felt hydrated enough, she grabbed her map and started looking for somewhere to start her Pokemon studies. One of the highlights of the island was its beaches,so that seemed like a good place to start. Barely to contain her excitement,She put her bottle of water back in her purse and headed for one of the beaches.
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It had taken a while,But she had finally arrived at one of the beaches. And as to be expected,The beach was full of other Pokémon Trainers. Some were relaxing,some were playing with their Pokémon and some even seemed to be practicing battle. But that wasn't why Juniper was here,She came her to study the Pokemon that resided here. The first Pokémon to get her attention was a wandering Litten . The Litten layed down and started licking its paws. The Professor slowly approached the Pokémon to take a closer look at it. The Professor tried to pet it,but it quickly got up and walked away from her. The Professor scratched her head and kept following the Litten until she saw another Pokémon. A Grubbin digging through the sand, Juniper tiptoed towards the new Pokémon and tried to touch it. The Grubbin turned around and tried to pinch the Professor,but she quickly retracted her hand and backed away. The Grubbin then jumped into the hole it dug up and dug away from the Professor. Juniper sighed and looked around some more. She saw a few new faces and made notes on them. However,A lot of the Pokemon she saw were Pokemon she was already familiar with,so perhaps she had to look somewhere else. There were forests of plenty in Alola and places with huge amounts of grass were usually filled with Pokemon. She put her notes in her purse and grabbed her map to look for a forest.
"Hmm...There should be one nearby." Juniper thought as she looked at the map and pinpointed a forest. She put the map back in her bag and began making her way to the forest. She grabbed her water bottle again and took another swig from it. After doing so,she put the bottle back and continued down her path. In order to reach that forest,She had to make her way through a town. She had nearly emptied the bottle she just drank,so she made sure to stop by a shop to get herself some fresh new ones. She exited the shop and looked in wonder at the Pokemon that were with their trainers. She stopped for a bit and took out her notes again to write more down.
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Eventually,She arrived at the forest. With a smile on her face,she steadily paced through the forest. Making sure to keep an eye out for any new Pokemon while keeping herself hydrated with another bottle of water. The first Pokémon that caught her attention was a sleeping Rowlet. The spot it was resting on was quite dark,So Juniper had to move closer in order to get a good look at it. Carefully tiptoeing so as to not wake it up,She pulled out her notes and camera and inspected the new Pokemon. Once that was done,She locked her eyes on another Pokémon; Pikipek. She moved closer to it and started taking notes again. That's when she felt something in her lower body.
"Oh,i need to use the bathroom..." She said to herself. She had been wandering around the Beach,the town and the forest for a while now and all the Water she had drank was starting to make her bladder ache. Despite the discomfort, she decided to ignore and started looking for other Pokémon to research.
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"Aww,What a little cutie." The professor said she looked at the aptly named Cutiefly. The Cutiefly was currently getting some energy from the flowers. This made the Professor smile. However, She was really starting to regret drinking all that water. Her bladder had gotten pretty full and it was starting to bother her. She kept looking for Pokémon to research, But now the pressure was starting to get difficult to ignore. She looked around and saw many trees and bushes.
"There's nobody around. Maybe i can take care of this quickly..." Juniper thought. Making absolutely sure there was nobody around,She headed towards one of the bushes and hid behind it. She reached for her skirt and hiked it up,revealing some white panties. Right as she was about to pull them down however,A loud crashing noise startled her. She crossed her legs and jammed her hands between them, as the sudden noise nearly made her lose control. She straightened her skirt and looked around to see a big,pink Pokémon destroying some trees. The Pokémon looked at her with a blank expression. Juniper wanted to approach the Pokémon,but instead it started approaching her. The Pokémon threw a punch and destroyed a tree that was very close to the Professor. Juniper backed off and started running away from the Pokémon,who quickly gave chase. She was running,the kept one of her hands between her legs. All this running was making the pressure stronger.
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Eventually,She hid behind a tree and waited for the Pokémon to leave. Once it was safe to come out,She walked away from the tree and continued her Search for Pokémon. However,her bladder sent another signal to her bladder,causing her to stiffen up.
"Oh! I really need to go!" Juniper said. She still had plenty off bushes to take cover behind. But after what just happened,That didn't look like a safe option.
"I'll have to head back to the town." She said to herself. There was no way the could focus on the Pokemon with how full her bladder was right now. However,there was one problem. She didn't know where in the forest she was.
"Oh no,which way did i come from again?"
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It took awhile,But she had finally made it back to the forest entrance. She was steadily walking out of there with both hands between her legs. The pressure had gotten even worse during her search for the entrance and she felt the pressure with each and every step she took. She suddenly felt another jolt. She crossed her legs tighter and kept her hands there for a few seconds. Her face turned red,She could feel a wet spot in her panties. She started stiffly walking back towards the town. There had to be a toilet there that she could use.
She arrived at the town and saw multiple buildings. However,she didn't have much look finding a Toilet. A lot of the buildings didn't have toilets and the ones that did seemed to be for employees only. She stopped near a tree and looked around some more when she felt yet another jolt.
"No! No! No! I'm reaching my limit!" Juniper internally panicked. She kept walking and what she saw made her feel mixed. To her delight, she saw a restroom near one of the stores.But to her horror,there was a huge line in front of the ladies restroom. The Professor gritted her teeth and rubbed her legs together. She doubted she could hold it until she returned to the hotel so she decided to stand at the start of the line. She was unable to stand still. She kept rubbing her legs together,occasionally hunching over and pressing her hands against her crotch. Unfortunately,this did very little to help. She could feel another spurt escaping. She crossed her legs tighter and gritted her teeth.
"Oh please. Hurry up! I don't think i can hold it much longer!" Juniper said to herself. She certainly wasn't the only person with those thoughts,as almost all the ladies in the line seemed just as desperate as her. Unfortunately,the line seemed to be moving pretty slowly. She felt jet another twinge and looked at the front of the line again. She still seemed so far from the entrance of the restroom. She couldn't take it anymore.
"I can't hold it! I need to go now!" Juniper said as she quickly stepped away from the line. She walked back in the direction she came from. She kept walking and looking around for somewhere to relieve herself. And that's when she saw an empty alley. A blush formed on the Professors face. She didn't want to do this in public,But she had nowhere to go and she was on the verge of completely wetting herself. She quickly looked around and awkwardly ran towards the alleyway. She kept going deeper and deeper until she felt like she was out of sight. Another twinge in her bladder caused her to stiffen up and cross her legs.She quickly hiked up her skirt and reached for her panties. Right as she began pulling them down,she lost control of her bladder and a bigger spurt came out of her private parts. Before anymore damage could be caused,Juniper hastily pulled her panties down and bent over. The spurt had become a powerful stream that splattered against the floor below her,creating a slight puddle.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh~" Professor Juniper let out as her bladder began to shrink. A wave of euphoria went through her body as her stream continued. Juniper spread her legs a little further to prevent the pee from getting to her shoes,while keeping one hand against the wall to keep her balance. The professor let out another sigh. She looked at the alleyway entrance. She did see a few shadows of people,but nobody seemed to be heading towards the alley. However, a sudden noise startled her. Her eyes widened and she tried to stop her stream,but no luck. She became nervous as the noises became louder. However,She calmed down a bit after she saw that the noises came from a Litten trying to get through all the garbage. The Litten glanced at the peeing Professor and then walked towards one of the trash cans. It then squatted down and started peeing as well. Juniper just stared at the Litten with wide eyes and scratched her head. She looked away from the Fire Type Pokemon and waited for her stream to end. After what felt like a minute to her, the stream had completely stopped. Juniper stepped out of her panties and picked them up to inspect the damage.
"My,It's a miracle i didn't get my skirt wet." Juniper said to herself as she saw the very large and wet patch on her panties. The professor shivered as she felt a slight draft on her lower body. She reached inside her purse and pulled out some tissues. She used some of it wipe herself clean. She then stuffed a few in her lab coat pocket and placed the panties on top of them. It may have seen gross,but she didn't want to keep wearing wet panties until she got back at the hotel. So it looked like she was gonna have to go commando for now until she could return there to get a new pair. She exited the alley and sighed.
"I'm gonna have to keep an eye on how much water i drink on these trips." Juniper said to herself as she pulled out her map. A lot had happened,But the day was still young and there were plenty of areas she had yet to explore on Alola. |
"It's only a 20 minute bus ride" Lauren thought as she locked her front door. The pain of her bladder had just become noticeable, but it was nowhere near the desperation she had experienced in the past. Lauren had drank 3 glasses of water today, but she had only been to the bathroom once. She could feel her bladder with each step on her way to the bus stop, but this did not worry her. As she reached the bench, Lauren glanced at her phone to make sure she hadn't missed her bus. It was almost 2pm and the bus was scheduled at 2:03. Lauren leaned against the pole and casually crossed her legs. She was nowhere near having an accident, but occasionally, the urge would hit her and Lauren had to tighten her pelvic muscles to refocus.
Annoyed at her bladders insistence, Lauren mused, "I've held for way longer and was just fine." She shifted her weight from one leg to the other just as an older woman joined her on the corner. The two ladies exchanged smiles and continued to wait for the bus. Lauren's bladder was starting to hurt more. Her olive green skirt clung tightly around her hips. It wasn't quite dark enough to hide a wet patch, but her grey leggings underneath would help conceal any leaks that might happen.
As the bus arrived, Lauren forgot abput her need to pee, and boarded the mostly empty bus. She sat in one of the side facing seats in the middle of the bus. She squeezed her thighs together and watched the storefronts pass by the window. Lauren was still not worried about the possibility of peeing her pants, though her bladder had become a constant nagging feeling. Lauren began to daydream and remembered the last time she rode the bus. She was going home from college last winter on a greyhound bus and decided to skip the dirty restroom facilities at the station and wait until she got to he parents house. She quickly hopped in her rental car and started driving, but soon realized she was going to piss herself if she didn't stop ASAP. Not wanting to ruin the seats of a car she didn't own, she found the nearest exit and headed to a grocery store. Lauren's legs jiggled frantically as she parked, and she dashed awkwardly towards the store without locking the car. She hadn't been in this store many times, so Lauren went right to the cashiers and pleaded to know where the bathroom was located. The cashier pointed to the far corner and Lauren walked as fast as she could without drawing attention to herself. Her tight jeans were unforgiving and pressed against her bladder with each step. As soon as Lauren saw the restroom sign, she clenched her muscles but was unable to stop the steady stream of pee soaking her panties. Lauren hurried into the bathroom and was relieved to find it empty, but her bladder gave in and Lauren began pissing through her jeans onto the floor, just inside the doors of the bathroom. She moved towards a stall as her pants darkened between her legs. "Fuck no, fuck!" Lauren cried and pulled down her pants, pissing on the floor before finally reaching the toilet. Her jeans were dark luckily, but you could tell she wet herself if you looked closely, so Lauren still left the store as fast as she could.
Lost in the memory of her accident, Lauren had missed her stop. She pulled the cord to get off at the next stop. This meant she would have to walk 4 more blocks to get to the bank. Lauren was reaching max capacity and was becoming very uncomfortable. She reassured herself that it wouldn't be much longer and headed up the street to finish her errand. There were only a few people at the bank, but they were taking a considerable amount of time. Lauren sat in a vinyl chair along the wall and silently shook her foot. She imagine what it would feel like to let go in that chair and have an accident in front of everyone. How the wetness would fall over the smooth chair and splash onto the floor. She was becoming more desperate and found it hard to keep her thoughts straight. Finally she was called forward. She spoke with the bank teller for a while and deposited her check, trying not to do any funny pee dances. At last, she was free to head home.
Lauren walked back down the street and was horrified when she saw her bus taking off just a block from where she was. She hurried towards the bus stop despite knowing she wouldn't make it in time. Lauren also began to worry if she was going to make it to the bathroom in time. The next bus was 10 minutes away. Maintaining control was becoming her only thought and it was becoming obvious that she needed to go. Lauren sat down on the bench and stuck her hands between her legs. Her ass wiggled back and forth to distract her from the increasing pain of holding. Her pelvis ached for even a little bit of relief. Lauren lowered her head and carefully relaxed her muscles until she felt her underwear dampen. Her fingers pressed against her crotch and she looked up just in time to see a man approaching the bus stop. Her hand darted back to her side.. He looked to be about 45, more than 2 decades older than Lauren. She found him very handsome, but was more concerned about getting home in a timely manner.
The gentleman stood a few feet from the bench and glanced at Lauren's legs bouncing up and down. Lauren avoided eye contact, but knew the man was watching her. She squeezed her legs together again and could feel the wet patch underneath her skirt. Her legs trembled as she fought against the urge to keep wetting herself. She stood up, not wanting to get carried away, and walked further away from the man. She took small steps and looked at her phone to distract her. Only 5 more minutes. Her body was on full alert holding back her pee, but she was becoming more and more aroused by the second. She could feel her pussy dripping onto her already peed panties.
Lauren's hips moved back and forth and the older man nearby watched her with intrigue. Lauren crossed her legs and looked over at the man. To her surprise, he was already staring at her, and flashed her a coy smile. Lauren's face went flush as she imagined what his body would feel like pressed against hers. Her body reminded her of the desperate situation she was in, and Lauren quickly turned her body away from the man. Her body continued to dance slightly in a desperate attempt to keep her leggings dry.
"Know what time the bus comes?" The man asked as he stepped towards her. Lauren was startled by his voice and began leaking in her underwear again. She strained to regain control as she replied "Soon, I hope!" The man stayed a couple steps behind her and watched as Lauren put her hand back between her legs. Her movements were becoming more frantic.
Her breath quickened as the bus turned the corner and headed for their stop. It was taking all of Lauren's energy to keep from having an accident. Her bladder ached and she was disappointed to see all the bus seats were taken. Lauren found a place to stand near the back doors, and the older man stood behind her , watching her skirt intently.
Lauren needed one hand to hold onto the bus railing, making it harder to hide her urgent need to pee. Her legs twisted together and she continued to wiggle her hips. More people boarded the bus and all the passengers shifted closer together. The older man was standing close to Lauren, turned slightly towards her. He could see her shifting back and forth. The bus was full so the man took a step closer to Lauren. Their bodies were nearly pressed together. Lauren looked up at him and half smiled, hoping he wouldn't notice her free hand shoved between her legs. She lowered her eyes and imagined his bare chest hovering above her. "What if I took him home?" she pondered... Her soaked panties brushed against her clit.
Lauren quickly snapped out of it as the bus came to a stop and the driver got off to switch with another employee. Lauren clenched her jaw and took a deep breath, meanwhile the man studied her awkward posture. Her legs were crossed and her free hand stayed close to her crotch. He knew the signs of someone desperate to pee, and still had been wishing for a more urgent display from the young girl. His member, hidden by dark jeans, was half erect from standing so close to her petite frame. The new bus driver came aboard and Lauren let out a moan as her body was jerked back into motion. Piss was slowly leaking down her thighs, the wet patch still hidden by her green skirt. Lauren knew the man was watching her every move, and this only aroused her further.
She began to imagine what his fingers would feel like against her wet underwear and couldn't stop herself from pissing a little more. Laurens subtly grinded against her hand, still between her thighs, and she felt her leggings soak through to her hand. She gasped, knowing she had gotten her skirt wet. Lauren straightened her posture and looked down to see a wet patch starting to run down her leg. Several people had left the crowded bus and there were several seats open, but the older man continued to stand withing inches of Lauren, right near the back door of the bus. Lauren's whole body shivered as the bus came to yet another stop.
"Are you alright?" The man asked as he scanned her outfit for dark spots. Lauren had turned slightly and it was clear to the man Lauren was wetting herself. The bus was only two stops away from Lauren's house, and she was starting to lose control. Aroused and embarrassed, Lauren pressed her fingers hard against her pussy. She briefly looked up at the man to tell him she was fine, but the moment she opened her mouth, she knew wasn't. Her wet panties filled with piss and began running down her grey leggings and onto the floor of the bus. Lauren looked down at the mess she was making and tried to explain to the man... "I think I'm going to have an accident.."
She took her hand off the bus railing and used both hands to try and stop her accident. The bus turned slightly and Lauren lost her balance, still pissing all down her legs.
"I can't hold it" Lauren whimpered. The small wet streaks between her legs had slowly grown to cover the entirety of her slender legs.. The older man squeezed his hard cock through his pants and steadied Lauren. It has seemed as though the young girl had finished wetting, but the older man was surprised to notice her wet clothing still streaming with pee. He continued to massage himself with one hand over his pants, and let out a moan as he got closer to finishing. Lauren stopped pissing and straightened her body when she noticed the man touching himself. She was incredibly aroused, but too embarrassed to say anything. Lauren averted her eyes, but continued to listen to the man's heavy breathing. Her accident had gotten her so close to orgasm, and she longed to be touched.
Lauren pulled the cord to get off the bus. She apologized to the man and stepped off the bus, but the man joined her at the stop. He asked for Lauren's number, and she hesitantly gave it to him, hoping they might share a fantasy or two in the future. |
Hi everyone,
I’m still slowly writing this story, sorry it has taken me so long to finish the next chapter!
In case you missed them:
Part 1 - the interview
Part 2 - the first day
Here is part three. Warning: contains nudity and lesbian sex
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“Life drawing class. Come desperate.”
That’s what the message had said. Alice was becoming accustomed to unusual requests and situations where her bladder control was stretched right to the limit. This sounded relatively… normal?
‘Probably be a weird twist to it somewhere’ she thought as she pulled white panties over her smooth thighs and nestled them against her already damp crotch. That was another thing she was becoming accustomed to. As soon as a message came through, her mind would race about the incredible, intense feeling of being utterly bursting to pee and desperately clinging on, shaking with the pleasure and effort.
Several times she had lost control on the edge of a mind-blowing orgasm and just thinking about it made her tingle with excitement. Over her panties she pulled a pair of jeans, threw on a bra which matched the panties and a t-shirt and finished her third beer. Her bladder was sending signals already. Better get a move on.
By the time she arrived at the Omobar, she was tapping her foot and her tight jeans were digging in to her bladder. Alice took the elevator down to the executive changing rooms and discovered that Rachel was already there. Alice was the most attracted to, and also most intimidated by Rachel of all the girls working at Omobar. She had a smouldering look and a voice that always sounded like she was going to pounce on you and rip your clothes off with her teeth.
“Evening gorgeous” she purred. Alice felt her pussy get a little wetter.
“What have we got in store today?”
“We will be working very closely together I think” Rachel winked and Alice felt a little flutter in her chest and a bigger flutter in her bladder. She crossed her legs.
“Oh really?” Often the girls were booked by separate groups so it seemed like the thing Rachel was suggesting would be slightly unusual. “In what way?”
“Life drawing. Simple as that. The clients want two desperate models, trying to hold their pee whilst holding a pose.” Rachel looked incredible. How could one woman look so sexy all the time?
Alice stared at the blonde, mentally running her hands over those smooth curves, maybe taking a nipple in her mouth, maybe slipping her hand into Rachel’s panties. Her bladder brought her back with a jolt. She quickly grabbed her crotch for a moment to regain control. Got it felt good.
“So we’re both posing together?” Alice asked, removing her hand with reluctance.
“They have a bunch of different ideas I think.” Rachel bounced up and down a couple of times “God I hope they are quick though, I went a bit too hard on the drinks and I really need a wee. It’s making me horny as fuck!”
Alice took a shuddering breath. “Me too. Beer always hits me quick.” She took a step towards Rachel.
The girls stared at each other for a few seconds, just a few inches apart. Rachel reached her hand forwards and it brushed Alice’s stomach, who winced and pushed her legs together tighter, not breaking eye contact.
Rachel took Alice’s hand and pressed it gently against her bladder. It was as hard as a rock. Images of Rachel being unable to hold this cascade of pee any longer flashed through Alice’s mind, causing her crotch to get even wetter. This woman was holding a huge amount of pee already. Alice caught herself thinking wild thoughts about burying her face in Rachel’s desperate pussy, tasting juices and pee and…
Alice’s breathing was getting faster. As her concentration left her bladder her pee was pushing with more force. She was stepping from foot to foot, twisting her legs together and trying to pull her mind away from Rachel’s vagina.
Suddenly, as if she was reading Alice’s mind, Rachel started sliding Alice’s hand lower. Alice felt her fingers brushing the waistband of Rachel’s jeans, then traveling slowly inside. She felt the lace of her panties, and still Rachel slowly pushed her hand lower. A brush of coarse and neatly trimmed hair, still lower. Alice felt the wetness. It coated the inside of Rachel’s panties, her clit, labia and everywhere else. Alice could barely contain her pee. Her excitement and arousal was peaking and her bladder control was weakening fast. A dribble escaped, and Alice took her other hand and jammed it into her crotch. She was on the verge of losing control, but couldn’t bring herself to pull away from Rachel’s intense stare, heavy breathing, rock hard bladder and soaking wet panties.
So the women stayed there for a few seconds. Alice’s hand inside Rachel’s panties and outside her own. Both girls squirming and trying to keep pee inside them. Alice bent her middle finger slightly and felt is slide effortlessly over the slippery folds of Rachel’s labia. Rachel took a shuddering breath. The finger brushed Rachel’s clit, swollen and begging for attention. Rachel let out a little moan, still not breaking eye contact. Suddenly, Rachel’s eyes closed in concentration and Alice felt a hot spray of pee hit her fingers and heard the momentary hiss.
“Aaarrrhhh” Rachel growled, pulling away and putting both hands in her crotch. “I can’t control myself around you” she smiled a mischevious smile. “I’ll get you for that.” She closed her eyes, regained her composure and, after ten seconds or so, removed her hands. There was a wet patch on her jeans.
“Better get naked then” she breathed, and did exactly that. Alice watched as jeans and panties slid down over smooth thighs, spreading the wetness from Rachel’s crotch to the inside of her thighs. Her pussy glistened in the warm light. Rachel pulled her top and bra off in one motion, giving Alice a head on view of her beautiful breasts. “Your turn” she said to Alice, lifting one leg and squirming her curvy hips desperately.
Alice followed suit and soon both women were standing there nude, legs crossed, bent slightly at the waist.
“Showtime” smiled Alice, and they pushed open the doors and headed into the bar.
Inside there was a central podium, raised slightly, with several spotlights illuminating it. Around the edge were eight people, 5 men and three women as far as Alice could tell, with easels, paints, charcoal and all kinds of other artistic paraphernalia. A commanding woman stood in the centre of the podium, beckoning them over. She was talking at them before they even arrived.
“The point of this class is for us to draw the human body in multiple positions whilst the bladder is full. We are studying the location of the organs and how they can be viewed externally and so we need to see your bladders bulge outwards as much as possible.”
She raised an eyebrow at Alice who was stepping from foot to foot rapidly, trying to hold her pee. “And you must keep still, or we can’t draw you properly”
Alice felt a moment of fear. Keep still? Pee was about to burst out of her and moving around was the only thing holding it in! She nodded and thrust her hand into her crotch, forcing her legs to stop shaking. She had momentarily forgotten how incredibly wet she was, but her hand confirmed that she had got, if anything, even wetter.
“None of that either” the woman said scornfully. “You’re naked for a reason, we need to be able to see… all of you”
Alice nodded again, and clenched her bladder shut with all her strength. No moving and no holding. How was she supposed to stop herself peeing everywhere? Her pee burned to come out, her bladder was pulsing with the beat of her heart and yet she held on. The woman was telling them where and how to pose.
“Legs apart, hold your hands together above your head. You!” The woman pointed at Alice. “Over here, facing her, same position”
Alice stood where instructed, put her hands above her head with her fingers clasped together. It stretched her bladder and she raised her knee slightly as her pee tried to escape. She felt a slap on her inner thigh as the woman pushed her legs apart.
‘Fuck me I am desperate now’ Alice thought to herself.
The woman sat down in the circle and Alice heard some rattling of pencils or charcoals or something as the artists began their work. She forced herself to breathe slowly. To just take it one minute at a time. The intensity of the stretched position, the pounding of her bladder and the complete exposure of her naked form was making her heart beat faster and her fingers tingle with excitement. All she could think about was how desperately her body needed to pee.
‘If I don’t distract myself with something, I’m going to explode’ she thought to herself. Luckily, the perfect distraction was right in front of her.
Rachel’s dark nipples were pointing straight at Alice. Alice’s eyes feasted on the soft curve of Rachel’s breasts, the smooth, flat stomach, stretched longer by the pose, curving down over a huge bladder bulge to a patch of dark blonde, nearly trimmed hair. The hair stopped at the edge of a glistening slit, lips bulging slightly with arousal. Rachel’s legs were the perfect distance apart to reveal her wetness as it slowly trickled down her left thigh. Alice imagined taking her tongue and slowly licking over that beautiful pussy, hard enough to taste the juices but soft enough to just be teasing. She imagined Rachel being unable to hold the flood back any more and pee exploding into her mouth as the blonde desperately tried to stop it coming out.
“Stop moving” the woman’s voice was sharp and reprimanding. Alice realised she was grinding her hips, her clit searching for some stimulation and her pee hole searching for something to help its exhausted muscles. Alice wasn’t sure which was a more desperate need.
With an enormous effort, she forced herself to stand still again and brought her focus back above Rachel’s waist. Her chest was heaving, breasts moving up and down with the rhythm. With a little shock, Alice realised that Rachel was looking right at her, not breaking eye contact for a moment. Her beautiful big eyes staring right into Alice’s dirtiest thoughts. Rachel was shaking slightly, biting her bottom lip. Every minute or so, her brow would furrow and her eyes would squint slightly as she fought back wave after wave of frantic desperation.
Alice estimated that about 30 minutes had passed since the encounter in the changing room. Rachel’s bladder had been rock solid then and she had needed to grab herself to stop peeing after Alice touched her. Had she said what she had been drinking? Alice couldn’t remember but if Rachel had been that desperate half an hour ago, she must be utterly frantic now.
Some minutes later, both girls were on the verge of losing control. Both were shaking, neither could stop grinding their hips and at one point Alice had even had to break the pose for a second to grab herself as she almost lost control. The whole time, neither girl had broken eye contact.
This time it was Rachel’s turn to almost lose it. “No” she said quickly and quietly as both her hands dove for her crotch. Alice broke eye contact and stared. The river of liquid from Rachel’s crotch had progressed from her upper thigh to half-way down, and both of her thighs glistened with moisture. Shuddering and panting, Rachel brought it under control again and raised her hands back above her head. Alice saw a worried look in her eyes, but also an orgasmic weakness like she was on the verge of coming.
The woman’s voice snapped Alice out of her dreams again. “Ok, you can stop now.”
Alice’s bladder seemed to double in pressure as her brain relaxed her muscles. Was this the end? She grabbed her crotch with all her might, twisting her legs together and grinding her fingers into her pee hole. She couldn’t believe how slippery her crotch was, she could barely grip on to anything.
“Fuck fuck fuck can we pee now?” Rachel was sitting on her heel, grinding it forcefully between her legs, whilst scissoring them together and apart, together and apart.
“Of course not, it’s only been an hour” the woman looked incredulous.
An hour? It felt like three. Alice was on the very very edge of control as every other part of her body tried to push the pee out past her hands.
“The second pose. You.” She pointed at Alice. “Lie here.” Alice did as she was told and lay down in the centre of the circle on her back, hands frantically trying to apply enough pressure to her crotch to stop the flood. The weight of her bladder intensified as gravity pulled it downwards. She whimpered slightly but bit her lip. If only she wasn’t so incredibly wet she’d be able to hold on a bit better. It felt incredible having her hands there, pushing against her pulsating clit. She felt her muscles go weak with excitement, pleasure and pain.
“You, put your knees here” the woman slapped the ground by Alice’s ears, “your hands here,” she slapped the ground again, either side of Alice’s butt, “and your face here,” Alice’s inner thigh.
Rachel tentatively obeyed, rising slowly off her heel and quickly putting her hands in her crotch as a replacement. She was taking enormous care not to jolt her tortured bladder. Her smooth thigh moved over Alice’s head, suspending her hands and crotch, glistening with pee and her juices, directly above Alice’s face.
“I’m going to need you to help me hold this” Rachel whispered, flicking her tongue out for a tiny moment. Slowly she took three deep breaths and removed her hands, revealing a swollen, soaking wet pussy which was clearly straining with effort. Rachel put her head between Alice’s legs and Alice felt her blonde hair tickle the inside of her thighs and the backs of her hands, which were still clinging to her crotch.
“Your hands go here” the woman said abruptly, slapping Rachel’s hips.
At the exact moment of the slap, Rachel gasped and a jet of pee squirted forcefully out of her pee hole, which was just inches from Alice’s face, hitting Alice on the forehead. Instinctively, Alice shoved a hand against the source of the squirt, leaving her with one hand in her own crotch and one on Rachel’s who was desperately shaking and grinding trying to hold back the flood. Rachel’s pussy felt incredible. Warm, soft, so wet it felt like satin. Alice could feel the bump of her swollen clit against her palm and the clenching of her pelvic floor muscles in her fingertips as she tried to hold on.
“Are you quite ready?” Disdain again from the woman.
“Mmh hmm” Rachel grunted in acknowledgement.
Alice took both her hands, each one wet with different juices, and placed them on Rachel’s hips as instructed. Rachel’s hair tickled her crotch in a way that was almost impossible to bear. It partly felt like pee flowing out of her, making her bladder scream even louder, and partly like the gentlest of touches, sending her into a wild frenzy of arousal.
But the most arousing thing Alice had ever seen was suspended just above her face. Rachel’s legs were open and her pussy lips slightly parted. Alice could smell a mixture of pee and hot juices and feel the heat radiating from the poor tortured crotch. Rachel was so wet she was dripping onto Alice’s chin. She was frantically grinding back and forth, like her pussy was searching for anything that could help its terrible pressure, but it found nothing.
Alice was in her own world of desperation. It felt like the whole world was trying to push its way out of her pee hole. She wanted desperately to clamp her legs together but Rachel’s head stopped that. A particularly strong wave hit. Alice could feel it coming. She wiggled her hips and pushed her crotch up and down, squeezing her muscles as tightly as possible bit it wasn’t enough. A trickle made its way out of her, running down into her crack and on to the floor. She whimpered again. The flood was coming and without any help, she couldn’t stop it. Another trickle. Frantic wiggling, squeezing, breathing hard. A spurt. And then…
Just as the unstoppable flood pushed Alice beyond her breaking point, something warm pressed itself against her crotch, locking the pee in her bladder for a little longer. It flicked her clit and fireworks shot through Alice’s body. Her hands went numb and her legs started to shake. Rachel’s tongue lapped up and down her slit, teasing, stroking her clit, pressing hard on her pee hole every few seconds just as Alice felt herself losing control. Alice was on the verge of peeing and the very edge of orgasm simultaneously, but Rachel’s skillful tongue knew exactly how to keep both just a tiny bit out of reach.
Drip, drip. Rachel’s juices were flowing even faster now, together with a tiny rivulet of pee which had emerged from the poor girl’s tortured urethra. Rachel subtly widened her thighs, lowering her pussy on to Alice’s face just as a hot spurt of pee shot out of her again.
“Help” Rachel begged. Alice didn’t need any more than that. She clamped her mouth on to the straining pussy, tasting the metallic tang of the juices and the faint acidity of diluted pee. The taste drove Alice further and deeper into her sexual haze. She didn’t know where Rachel ended and her mouth began. Her bladder was pounding and her clit was sending electric shocks through her body as Rachel lapped at her pussy.
Alice was lost. The sharp pain in her bladder had migrated all the way to the very tip of her pee hole. The pleasure in her clit was making her whole body shake violently. She was having trouble concentrating on what her own mouth was doing.
“Please help” Rachel begged again and Alice realised she had been focusing on her own crotch too much and was barely moving her tongue on Rachel’s pussy. Rachel was trying desperately to hump Alice’s face to keep her pee inside but it was leaking out regularly. Alice buried her face between Rachel’s thighs with renewed fervor, her own haze of desperation reaching its peak. Sucking, thrusting and lapping between Rachel’s legs.
Everything was wet, everything was slipping over everything. The artists and their charcoal forgotten, Alice felt Rachel shaking harder and harder, pain and pleasure blurring together.
“Too.. much…” Rachel gasped, but it was too late. Alice’s tongue danced over Rachel’s clit again. Rachel’s legs tried to squeeze together as she started to cum, but Alice’s head was in the way. Pee exploded from Rachel’s pussy, shooting into Alice’s face and spraying out all over the two women. Pee ran in rivers down Alice’s cheeks and neck as it poured out of Rachel. Rachel’s legs were shaking and convulsing violently as the orgasm took over her body and her arms gave way, causing her breasts to crash directly into Alice’s bladder. That was the final straw for Alice, as she felt pee burst out of her crotch. Rachel’s tongue shook with the same intensity as the rest of her body, assaulting Alice’s clit.
As pee gushed from her swollen bladder, The relief of finally peeing mixed with the constant clit stimulation and the sight of Rachel’s pulsating orgasm pushing waves of pee from her body was enough to push Alice over the edge too. She felt the orgasm coming, wave after wave after wave, charging though her body, emanating in pulses from her crotch and spreading intense numbness and convulsions through her entire body.
Pee poured out of both women, both shaking as the orgasms went on and on, both still pushing their tongues between the other’s thighs.
It took almost two minutes for both bladders to empty and both orgasms to subside. Rachel lay, exhausted, on top of Alice, mouth still buried in her crotch. Alice’s lips were still against Rachel’s slit as both girls lay spent, surrounded by a pool of their shared urine, panting and slowly coming back to reality. Alice wanted to lie here forever, to smell this smell, taste this taste and feel this feeling until she died.
Neither Alice nor Rachel were in any position to notice or care, but the sharp woman in charge of the artists nodded to herself.
“That’ll do”
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Do you want a trip to the Omobar? Anything goes, as long as there is desperation involved. Let me know what the next chapter should look like in the comments below and I will try and make it happen
Thanks for your support! |
Hello all!
This is a very important story to me. Its one that i have ruminated on for months, and I finally decided it was time to put it down into words. The story is completely fictional, and its a combination of a bunch of different scenarios I came up with in my head, all wrapped up into one big story. So far I have 14-ish parts planned for the story, with three and a half of them written already. I've had more desire to finish this story than any other i've started before, so hopefully i can do that!
DISCLAIMER!!!
This story includes both wetting and messing, as well as sexual themes (at times). I understand messing is something that's not for everyone, so if you are not into that, no need to go ahead, because nearly every chapter will include it. As for the sex, I'm not sure how much people are into that on here as well, but it felt important to have it in the story. Wetting and messing, as well as diapers, is a sexual act in my mind, so naturally sexual acts followed suit. So, just giving fair warning. Everyone in the story is 17 or older, and its implied (AND STATED HERE) everything is consensual, in case there are any issues with that (which there wont be.)
Lastly, i genuinely want people to let me know what you think! I am a writer by trade, so I am hoping my story writing has improved, or improves over the course of the story. So please, leave your thoughts, and let me know if you like it, dislike it, whatever you want. Thank you, and happy reading!
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I consider myself very blessed. I have lived a mostly normal life, what is more or less successful throughout school, never got into any trouble, and have been mostly happy but entire time. I say this, because what happens over the next year of my life is something that I never thought I would deserve, but nonetheless have enjoyed more than anything else. So without further ado let me dive into the story.
My name is Steve, And I have a girlfriend named Millie. Millie is 19 years old, and I am 21. Millis is 5'9, has long brown beautiful hair, and both big boobs and a big butt. The age difference is no bother, because we both met while we are in college. We've been going out for about 2 years now, and it's safe to say we are both head over heels for one another and expect to meet together for a very long time. But, it should come snow surprise that things were not always easy.
And I should mention, because her mother married multiple times, it wasn't just Millie that was struggling. She also has an 18-year-old "stepsister," and a 17-year-old "stepsister". I use quotations, because since her mother married multiple guys, some already with children, so it's hard to keep track of who is whose child. The Important thing to know is, they were raised somewhat like cousins or sisters at times, and were apart at other times. But they always kept in touch, and looked out for one another. They truly love each other, and got through the worst of their childhood together.
Millie comes from a very difficult background of a broken home. Her mother divorced multiple times, and moved around a bunch of times as well. Since she always stayed with her mother, she never really had a father figure in her life, And that was very difficult for her. Moreover, her mother is exactly the best role model as well. She drank, smoked, and never really cared about Millie's well-being. So, ever since Millie went off to college, she's more or less had to look out for herself and figure out things for herself. And she wasn't really any good at it either. Well she did turn out to be a mostly normal, healthy person, she was quite emotionally stunted and not really ready to take on the world.
That is, until she met me. Once we first saw each other, it was like fireworks. I won't go into the details, but we knew right away that we were meant for each other. We had so many of the same interests, we love spending time together, and we just worked so well together.
After a first year of dating, we moved in together. This happened for a number of reasons. One, I really had no objection to it, and it certainly was a money saver. Two, and more importantly, she really needed it. As I said was her broken home situation, moving back in with her mother wasn't an ideal option. So moving in together really was the best decision for everyone.
Not long after that, we discovered that we were even more compatible than we thought. Millie's stunted emotions, made it so she... How do I put this delicately. For lack of a better term, Millie has daddy issues. And no, I don't mean she treats me like her father, or calls me daddy all the time in bed. But she looks up to me for guidance, and she looks to me to help her with a lot of things in her life. Not quite like a father/daughter relationship, but more so a big/little relationship. And more often than not, this usually manifested sexually in more ways than anywhere else.
It's here where I should mention, this is a very sexual story. Because Millie has a particular kink that I absolutely love. I already mention the big/little dynamic, but it goes deeper. I'll just be blunt: Millie's stunted upbringing means she never really learned to be potty trained. Her parents never bother to train her, so eventually she had to train herself. And she didn't do a good job. So she's had plenty of accidents in her lifetime, both wet and messy. She's learned to live with it and it doesn't bother her anymore, especially since she's so careful.
However, after she told me about this a few months into our relationship (when we started getting serious), I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. I immediately told her I have a fetish for girls that wet and mess themselves anywhere, any time, any how. She was so scared of telling me, but when I told her this, she just melted and smiled so big. Right then we KNEW we were made for each other.
So over time, things blossomed. The big/little thing didn't happen right away. But with Millie wetting and messing herself quite often, and the sexual nature it very quickly took, Millie began looking to me for the fatherly figure she never had growing up. Obviously she didn't see me as her father, but she definitely treated me like the big to her little (at least, in bed, and in more serious times when maturity was needed).
Millie was more than happy to begin wetting and messing herself to my measure. We would often be out and about or chilling at home, and she would just go. To this day, each time is still as exciting as the last. And we're still learning more about it every day. But damn, it's certainly incredible.
All of this exposition is to say, that Millie and I really feel perfect for one another both emotionally, physically, and sexually. And this is a good jumping off point to take us to present day.
"Good morning Steve" said Millie, as we woke up to the sound of our alarm.
"Good morning Millie, how are you honey"
"I'm good, did you sleep ok?"
"Sure did, and you?"
"Pretty much, although I did have to go in the middle of the night" she said with a bit of a pout.
"Aw, did you make it to the toilet?"
"No I didn't!" Said Millie, as she pulled of the covers. Underneath I saw her in just her pretty cotton panties, now almost entirely drenched with urine. Somehow, only some of it managed to soak into the bed. Although it's not like we cared, we have many sets of sheets and a mattress protector for exactly this reason.
"Aw that's ok my love!" I say as I give her a kiss. "No need to worry! Besides, you know I love when you can't help yourself!" I giver her crotch a good rub, allowing myself to get hard as well.
"Oh I know you do honey! If you play your cards right today, I just may have another treat for you too!" Millie said with a wink. I already knew what this meant, and I looked at her with knowing eyes.
"Oh please do, you know I love treats!
"Hold on there pal, let's get started on our day first!
"Yes dear..." I said, feigning disappointment. As much as I would love to jump her bones right now, we both did have plenty to do today. It was a Saturday, which meant we had chores to do, errands to run, and all that good stuff. So with that we got out of bed.
Millie went to rinse off and change, while I went and sat in front of the computer for a while. Before long, she was ready to go. She put on a simple t shirt and a pair of Nike running shorts. Millie is fairly active and certainly a healthy eater, so this look complemented her gorgeous slender-yet-thick frame perfectly. And with that, we headed off to the grocery store.
As we were shopping, I could tell Millie really had to go. Weather she knows she does it or now, she tends to squeeze her butt cheeks together when she has to poop. And on top of that, she starts to walk a little funny. But as I said earlier, Millie doesn't always recognize when she needs to go.
"Baby, it looks like you have to go poop, want to run to the bathroom?"
"Do I? Huh, I guess I do. But here? Ew, the restrooms in here are nasty. I'll hold it until we get home.
"Can you do that?" I say, incredulously.
"Probably not!" Millie said with a devilish grin.
It was here where I knew this was my prize for today, and oh boy I couldn't wait for it.
Another 20 minutes went by and we were nearly done, but I could tell Millie was nearing her breaking point. Even when she knows she has to go, she can't hold it for very long.
Millie and I went up to the checkout counter, and as I started loading our groceries onto the counter, she suddenly stood very still.
This was also classic Millie. When she stood still, that means her need for the toilet was too much, and she was right at her breaking point.
I stood up to pay for my groceries, making small talk with the cashier, when Millie suddenly grabbed my hand and stood right next to me.
I didn't make any sudden moves, but I knew what was happening. She grabbed my hand and moved it to her butt, a move she knew i absolutely loved.
As I put my card in the card reader to pay for our groceries, Millie let out a monster of a poo into her panties, with my hand feeling every bit of action. I immediately popped a huge boner, but it was luckily in a hidden position. Use It came out rather quick, but also rather solid (luckily, since we were in public.) It pointed straight out, tenting out her Nike shorts and growing her a tail almost 3 inches long. It was damn near impossible for me to focus, because it seemed to take a lifetime. However, the whole process only lasted a few seconds. Millie's monster poo was out of her, sitting happily between her butt cheeks. You could tell she looked flushed, but she acted it off so well. In one quick motion, she waved her hand like she was hot, took off her sweater, and tied it around her waist with no one any the wiser. I took my card, grabbed our cart, said goodbye to the cashier and walked out of the store with Millie.
"Oh my GOD babe, what was that!"
"Did you like that?" She said to me, beaming. "I wanted to poop for you out in public again! I know I don't do it often, and I worked up the courage to all morning!
"Aw baby, why'd you do that for me?" I said.
Millie thought for a second, then said: "Steve, I love you more than I ever thought possible. You've been the only good thing in my life these past few years, and I have to reward that. You've saved me! So it's only fair I give this to you."
I was just about to cry from how sweet this was, until she said this:
"Besides, I'm honey as all hell right now, and this massive shit is going to make for some great love making when we get home"
My tears turned into a grin, and my boner nearly tore through my zipper.
"Millie, I am never ever letting go of you." I said.
"I know" she said. "Which is why I'll never stop being your dirty little girl!"
I kissed her as we walked to the car. I placed my hand in her behind, feeling her poop tail sticking out. It was so hot, I couldn't help but give her a little squeeze. She gave a light yelp, but didn't protest: Millie loves it when I play with her when she's dirty.
I loaded our groceries and got in the car. Millie sat down in the passenger seat, smashing her poop down into her underwear, up her crack and into her grundle.
"Ahhhhhh" she said contentedly as she sat.
"That feels so nice. I almost don't want to change out of this when I get home!"
"Then don't! You know I don't mind! I can change you later if you want."
"We'll see how I feel!" She said, with a smile on her face.
We drove home. Millie absentmindedly played with herself a little as we went. She always was horny after she wet or messed herself. I tried to keep my eyes on the road, but it was hard! I made it a little easier on myself by placing a hand on her crotch. We drove home in absolute bliss.
Once we got home, we unloaded the groceries. We were about to settle down for the afternoon, when we heard a banging at the door."
"Who could that be?" I said with a start.
"I don't know!" Millie said. "But you better answer it because of got shit in my pants!
I tried to surprises a laugh, as Millie went to hide around the corner. I opened the door, only to see a pair of familiar faces.
"Harper? Taylor? What are you two doing here?"
Harper and Taylor are Millie's two step sisters. They shared the same mother, but all had different fathers. Harper is 5'8, with beautiful long brown hair, big butt and average breasts. And Taylor is a but smaller, at 5'4. She has flowing bright red hair with some auburn streaks in it, freckles all around, and a normal sized butt and boobs.
When Millie heard me say their names, she burst out from her hiding spot.
"Harper?? Taylor?? Oh my gosh what's going on!"
Her smile quickly faded, as did mine. Harper and Taylor didn't look happy at all. As a matter of fact, I think they were crying.
"Hi guys... Can we come in? Mom is gone, and we have no idea where else to go..." Said Harper.
"Oh that bitch!" Millie said angrily. "She just up and left??"
Seeing Millie so angry must have struck or cord, because both Harper and Taylor started tearing up again. I stepped in:
"Come in, get in here! Gees of course you can be here, please sit down and tell us what happened."
Harper and Taylor walked in and sat down on the couch. They looked pretty bad. Harper was dressed in a pretty old, but plain dress that came to her knees. Taylor had on a t shirt and leggings.
"Oh it's horrible guys" said Harper. "We woke up this morning and the house was empty! Mom just left. All she left us was a note saying she ran off with another guy, and that she wasn't paying for the house anymore. It was pretty obvious she wasn't coming back, so we packed up as much of our stuff as we could, threw it in the car, and drove here."
Millie was seething. "So help me god if I could find her and beat her ass!! I can't believe she did this..."
I looked over to the girls, still looking rather forlorn. I looked to Taylor, the younger of the two girls, who hadn't said anything yet. She saw me, and took that as her que to speak up.
"We didn't know where to go." She said, quietly. "We have no one else but you Millie. Will you help us?"
"Yes absolutely! You can stay here as long as you like and we'll do whatev--" Millie replied. But before we she continued, I had to cut her off.
"Woah woah woah. Now, of course you two can stay here as long as you like, of course you're welcome. But this isn't that easy! Taylor, you're still in highschool! We have to call and talk to somebody or the police are going to go looking for you! And Harper, you're 18, I know you graduated. But what are you gonna do? Get a job? Go to college? There's a lot of things we need to figure out here."
Now, everyone looked pretty darn sad, and I feel I may have worried people a little too much. Then, quiet Taylor spoke up once more.
"Fuck that!"
Her cursing surprised me, although not that much considering their situation.
"I hate that high school. I'll call whoever I need to, I'll take the GED, I was gonna be a senior anyway. Everyone always build me there anyway..."
Taylor and Harper shared a knowing look while she said that last part. I was about to ask why she was bullied, when I looked over at Millie, who was screaming at me with her eyes to not say anything. I wasn't sure why, but I'm sure she would tell me later. So Instead I said:
"Ok Taylor that's a good plan. And as for Harper, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. You two can stay here as long as you need to get back on your feet. You know we love you both!"
Taylor and Harper finally broke out into a smile, and all of us stood up at once for a group hug. But in the middle of this big, I noticed a few things strange. For starters, it sounded like I heard something very crinkly underneath Taylors leggings. Did she have a diaper on? And before I could ruminate on that, during our hug my leg was up against harpers legs, which felt... Wet? Did she walk through water? Or pee herself? What was going on here? I looked over at Millie, who I could tell was going through the exact same thought process as me. But before we could say anything, Harper spoke up:
"What smells??"
We all backed out of the hug. Millie looked at me wide eyed, then at Harper and Millie. But then, it looked like she had an epiphany.
"Wait a second... Harper, Taylor, come here a second. She grabbed both their arms and hurried out of the room. I was left standing there, unable to get a word out before they were in the next room, door shut! I say down and waited. It was maybe 10 or 15 minutes, and I was very nervous as to what was happening. Then, they came back out.
"Steve, can you come here a second?" Millie said. I walked over to the room, and sat down.
Millie spoke: "Steve, there's no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it. Harper and Taylor are like me."
"Like you? In what way?" I said, very confused.
"You know how I told you about how mom never potty trained me? So I did it myself, unsuccessfully? Well, apparently this runs in the family. Harper never potty trained herself either, and apparently Taylor never quite made it out of diapers."
I was astounded. This was a mind blowing revelation, although it made so much sense all at the same time.
"Oh. OH!" I said. "Well, that's more that ok! Did you tell them I--"
"Yes I did," Millie cut in.
"And that we--"
Yes I did!" Millie cut in again.
I looked over to Taylor and Harper, and Harper spoke up.
"When I smelled what I thought I smelled, I couldn't believe it at first. But then when Millie explained, I was relieved! On the way over here, Taylor and I didn't know how we were going to explain to you both that... Well, that we essentially need someone to take care of us. To help us with our bathroom needs..." She said, embarrassed.
Taylor then continued: "I kept trying to tell her it wouldn't be a big deal, but she was so nervous. But look how it worked out! Millie has a big old poop in her pants right now!"
We all laughed at that, and it seemed to lighten the mood. After our laugh, I continued talking.
"So, wow! This is a pretty big moment for everyone then! So... What's the plan?" I said, tentatively.
"Well..." Harper spoke up. "We were talking with Millie, and we were hoping that maybe... Maybe you'd take care of us like you take care of her?" She said, expectantly.
Now, it was my turn to be confused. I stood up: "Excuse us a moment!" I took Millie into the other room.
I shut the door and said: "what exactly is going on here??"
Millie said quietly, "Steve, hush! Harper And Taylor are scared. They don't know what to do, where to go, and they took a big step coming here. On top of that, they have no one to take care of them, just like I didn't! So we got to talking and figured, you'd be able to step in and help them out, just like you did for me!"
"Oh!" I said. "Well, that's all well and good, but you want me to take care of them how? Like, as a helpful family member? Or their bathroom habits too?"
"Everything, Steve. They can't take of themselves. Harper can't make to the bathroom just like me, and she can't change Taylors diapers anymore. They Are just too broken. And they need you to do this for them, just like you do it for me."
"Honey, I can do whatever they need me to, no questions asked! But, you realize this is a problem right? I get INSANELY aroused every time I see you wet and mess yourself. And now, you're asking me to do the what I do for you, to two more girls? Take care of them, hold them, change them? What will you do when I inevitably get turned on? What if something happens?" I was getting lost.
Millie spoke softly to me. "Let it happen Steve. Their wellbeing is way more important right now. And when you get turned on, that's ok. I love my sister's, they are family. They know you're mine. We'll talk about this more later. But hear this: it is more than ok for you to be turned on."
She said the last part to me with a bit of... Eagerness? That was something I need to think about. But, we were gone from the girls too long, so we rushed back outside.
"Ok, Harper, Taylor. You two are so very welcome here as long as you need. And, as we now have all discussed, I understand you share Millie's issues of not being able to get to the bathroom on time pretty often. Harper, don't worry. I will be there for you, for whatever you need. And Taylor, we'll get you some more diapers, and I am more than happy to change you whenever you need too."
Once I was finished, both Harper and Taylor started crying! Tears of joy though, as I could see them smiling. Millie then started crying too, as they all went in for another hug. I joined in too!
A few seconds into this hug, we heard Harper start peeing herself! It spurted out from her dress in full force, hitting the wood floor loudly.
"I'm sorry! I couldn't hold it, I'm just so happy!!"
"It's more than ok Harper, this is your home now." I said, calmly.
Harper and Millie shared a knowing glance, which I nearly missed. I'll have to ask her about that later...
We all hugged it out once more, looking forward to fixing up this mess, and to a brighter future! |
Part 2: A New arrangement
So there we all were. Laughing, sitting and getting to know each other a bit better. Millie hadn't seen Harper or Taylor in a few years, so the catching up was much needed. But before we sat around for too long, I gave Millie a little nudge. She still had her panties full of poop!
"Ok you two" Millie said. "I need to go clean myself up quick. I'd have Steve help me out, but he's gonna help you bring in your stuff. Right babe?"
"Yes!" I said quickly. Taylor, Harper, let's go out to your car and bring your stuff in."
So as Millie cleaned up, we started unpacking the car. It wasn't all that much. Taylor and Harper really just grabbed the essentials. Clothes, medicine, a few keepsakes and other random things. But that was it. Maybe 2 or 3 bags for each of them.
"Ok girls" I said. "luckily we do have a spare room, but we do only have one. Is sharing a bed going to be ok? Or do we need to go out and get an air mattress? It's a big queen bed, so it's really up to you."
Harper spoke up. "That should be fine! We shared a bed back home occasionally, when mom was angry or something. So we don't mind sharing. Right Taylor?"
"Yes this is totally fine, we still can't think you guys enough! This will be more than fine." Said Taylor.
I continued, "ok, then it's settled!" I'll let you tell get settled in, I'll go check on Millie."
As I left the room, I could tell Harper wanted to say something, but she seemed to swallow the thought as I left the room. Back in our room, Millie was just finishing up getting dressed. I walked up to her:
"Wow, can you believe all this is happening? I really feel for them, I hope they are ok."
"Yeah me too!" Said Millie. "Although it's not surprising. Our mother was absolutely horrible to us. Instill can't believe I got away mostly normal... Here's hoping Taylor and Harper aren't too broken down from it all."
"Yeah, I hope we can help" I responded. I was going to continue, but I changed course:
"But also, I'm sad that we wasted such an amazing load in your pants! I still can't believe all that happened either!
Millie laughed. "Oh hush, you! I just about forgot about my panty poop until Harper reminded us of it! I would have treated you right if you helped me clean up, but thank you for helping them out instead."
"Ugh yes, I'm gonna be regretting not taking care of that for you. Promise me you'll try that again for me soon?"
"Steve, let's just say you're going to be up to here in messy panties for a while!" She said to me with a wink.
Before I could respond, she walked out of the room to go check on Taylor and Harper. I followed behind. Once in their room, we saw things were going well. The two of them were almost done unpacking their clothes, and we all got to chatting. After a while, Harper spoke up.
"So, not to be awkward but... I'm not exactly the driest sleeper at night, and neither is Taylor. Is this bed going to be ok if we mess it up? Have any accidents?"
I jumped in. "Oh for sure! It's already got our spare mattress protector on it, and we've got plenty of spare sheet sets as well. Millie rarely goes a night without getting a little wet or messy."
Millie smiled a guilty smile, but I could tell she enjoyed being shown off like that.
I went on: "so yes, no need to worry about that."
"Ok good!" Taylor said. "So on top of that, Ill just say it. I could really use a diaper change." And with that, she hopped on the bed, laid on her back and out her legs up in the air. I though this was all a little forward, but I do have to remember these girls come with alot of baggage. I looked to Millie who seemed to share some of these thoughts, but I could tell even she wasn't equipped to handle this moment right now. So, I spoke up:
"Ok, Harper could you hand me one of Taylors new diapers? This will be easy peasy, I babysat my little cousins for years."
Millie handed me a clean diaper from Taylor stash, and I got to work. I yanked off Taylors leggings, and started untaping her
Diaper. It was a big, puffy diaper that had little flowers on it, which were all very very damp and not their usual colors, indicating the diaper was over saturated with pee. Once I had her diaper undone and saw the damage, I couldn't help but get hard. Like, my penis actually grew exponentially for a few seconds. And I could tell in my loose shorts, there was no hiding it this time.
Off to the side and out of my view, Millie whispered something to Harper. They were watching this whole affair, and I assume saw me get very hard. It's now where I'll say... I'm blessed. The lord decided to give me a large member, there's no getting around it. So when I heard Harper gasp in my direction, I knew she was gawking at the large staff sticking up in my shorts. I, however, stayed focused on Taylor.
Taylor was staring right up at me, and once I started undoing my diaper, she even started sucking her thumb. I didn't say anything of it, but she went ahead and spoke.
"Yeah, I know I'm sucking my thumb. Its a habit I can't break! I do it whenever I'm getting changed, and sometimes when I'm actually peeing or pooping too. It's a reflex, and it helps keep me calm."
"That's totally ok with me" I said to Taylor.
Having her diaper open, I saw the massive amount of pee that soaked into the diaper. It was an incredible site. Her vagina was beautiful as well, being the perfect combo of big and loose, as well as tight and young. I couldn't help but stare for a few seconds, but then I got back to work. I slipped the diaper off of her, grabbed a few wipes and wiped her down, and put the new diaper on her. And with that, we were done.
"Thank you Steve!" Said Taylor. "I'll try not to be too much of a hassle about my diapers but, you know... Nature calls!"
"Quit that, it's more than ok! I'm more than happy to change your diapers Taylor, just say the word." I said.
After that, we kept talking for a while. We learned that Harper planned to go to a nearby community college, but had no idea what she was going to do now. Taylor told us she's going to call her school and officially drop out, and take the GED. And Millie filled them in on what we do during our days. I work from home most days, and Millie works at a nearby business a few times a week. I make more than enough money for the both of us, so she only does it to keep herself busy for the most part. But then, Harper asked us:
"I know it's getting late, but is it ok if we went shopping quick? We have some money on us, and we could really use a few things. I need more panties, some more clothes..."
"I could use more diapers" Taylor butted in.
"Yes, and if we do it know we could just get it out of the way. Is that ok?"
I looked at Millie, who was already speaking up:
"Yeah let's go! And we'll get dinner on the way there as well, our treat!"
And with that, we went out the door.
Once in the car, we decided we wanted something simple, so we just stopped at McDonald's. I got a big Mac, Millie got some mcnuggets, and Harper and Taylor each got a quarter pounder. We gobbled our meals up on the way to the store.
We walked into the store, and I simply stayed in the back of the group as the three girls talked. I didn't need anything here, but I was more than happy to chaperone and to be with everyone. We watched as Harper got some panties, some pretty ones, some plain ones, and a few more dresses, shirts, and pants as well. Taylor meanwhile, made a beeline for the diapers, picking out her usual brand. We got in line to checkout, but there was like ten people ahead of us, and only on person checking out.
"This could be a problem... " Harper said.
"Why?" The rest of us said in unison.
"Don't be so loud! But I really have to pee after all that soda from McDonald's... And... I think I have to poop as well."
Just hearing her say that was enough to get me a little hard.
Millie started to rub harpers shoulder with sympathy as we tried to wait out the long line. But, as five minutes turned into ten, we all could tell harpers bowels were not long for this world.
"It's no use guys, I can't hold it anymore!' Harper said in a quick whisper. Not really knowing what to do, she started to spread her legs and pee. We all looked at her, that is until I shoved the things I was carrying into Millie's arms and rushed Harper outside. Millie and Harper stayed behind to pay for our things.
We were maybe 30 feet from the door, but Harper peed herself basically the whole way there. Her panties were surprisingly absorbent, but she still left a few small puddles all the way to the door. Streaks of pee ran down her legs as well. Luckily, no one payed is any mind as we nearly ran out the door.
Once outside, I pulled Harper over to a small brick ledge and sat her down, having her butt stick past it, almost like she was sitting on the toilet. Now feeling safe and away from everyone, Harper let herself go in earnest.
"Oh my gooooddddddddd..." She sighed. She seemed so relieved to let it all out. Her pee picked up pace as it hit the grass behind her. Ok listening to it splash made me hard as a rock.
"Oh my god Steve, I'm pooping now! I can't hold it!" She then said to me.
She looked me dead in the eyes as she did. She looked scared, but also determined, and a little bit aroused if you ask me. She grunted and scrunched her face up a bit, almost like babies do when they poop. I heard it crackle out of her ass in on big motion, and her expression quickly turned to relief. She instinctively spread her legs a little, showing off her wet panty covered pussy off to the world, so I quickly stood on front of her. It truly was a sight to behold. She opened her eyes, saw me looking at her and was startled.
"Oh dear God, did all of that really just happen?? I'm so embarrassed..."
"Shh shh shh, no Harper it's ok! I pulled you outside and you didn't make a mess indoors. It's all good!" I told her.
She was still pretty embarrassed. "But you saw me! Ugh I'm so sorry, I feel like such a baby!"
"Hey hey hey! Remember what we talked out? I'm here for you, I can take care of you, and that's exactly what I did by taking you outside. And I can do whatever you need to make this better for you."
Harper looked at me, and smiled and immediately got all red in her face. I smiled back.
"Did you want me to clean you up here? Or wait until we got home?"
"I'd say we can wait, but I'm in a dress. Do you think you could at least let the poo out of my panties for me? I can't reach back there."
Without saying anything, I looked to my right and looked to my left. With no one in sight, I quickly darted behind the wall Harper was sitting on. As I crouched down behind her, I saw she was still sitting with her butt hanging over the back of the wall, and I saw the mound of poo in her underwear. I stopped. I stopped and stared at that mound of poo for maybe 10 seconds, I think, because it was long enough for Harper to go:
"Steve? Everything ok back there?"
I snapped back to reality. "Yes! I'm sorry Harper, I just couldn't help but stare at your poopy panties. I guess there's no point in hiding it, since Millie told you about how she and I operate."
"Yes she did, and I don't blame you! I've always thought I looked good with shit in my undies!"
This surprised me. She was also turning to look at me now, with a very mischievous smile on her face.
"Well then, you are absolutely right! I can't help myself every time I see Millie poop herself, and I guess I could help myself when you did it too."
Harper replied to me. "I like that you couldn't help yourself! It makes me feel....normal. attractive." She said the last bit looking somewhat sadder, and I could tell this whole experience must still be troubling for her. So I jumped in.
"So Harper, shall I just, pull your panties aside and dump it out? Is it ok to touch you?"
Harper snapped out of it. "Yes Steve go for it, I'm ready!"
So with that I pulled her panties aside, pushed them inside out a little and let the mound of poo fall to the ground. Luckily it was a grassy area, so it'll just look like a dog did it. With that done, I stood back up and faced Harper.
"All done! Feel better?"
"Yes I do!" She replied. She stood up and gave me a hug. And I swear she could feel my raging hard on up against her crotch, but I didn't care, and she didn't say anything either. Millie and Taylor walked out just as we broke off our hug.
"Everything ok out here?" Millie asked.
"Yep, we're all good! Harper just had an accident." I said to them.
"Yeah, we're ok" Harper said. "Thank God Steve thought quickly and got me outside! This is exactly what I'm talking about. In the store, I just froze and felt like a little girl. But then Steve took hold of me, got me outside, and helped me clean up. I really need help like that more often... heck, I've needed help like that for years!"
We all laughed at that one. Then, with all the new clothes and diapers in tow, we hopped in the car and went home.
The next morning, we set out setting up Harper and Taylor's new lives at our home. Harper let all of her old friends know where she was, that she was fine, and that she will be with us for a while. Taylor meanwhile, had a harder task. Luckily, Since she's 17, she's legally allowed to drop out in our state. So she called them up and let them know, and that seemed to be that.
Lastly, we talked about weather we should call the police on their mother for abandonment charges. Both Harper and Taylor were hesitant to do this. Firstly, they just wanted to be gone from her for good. And secondly, since Harper is of legal age, this really only affected Taylor. But we ended up deciding to let it go for now, and address the issue again later if we need to.
Then, slowly but surely life went on. I settled more into my new role as the caretaker of the house, for all three girls. Each one of them has their own issues. Millie may seem independent, but she entirely depends on me emotionally, physically (sexually), and to clean her up when she's dirty, if time allows for it.
Harper is similar to Millie, if not even worse off. She seems to be lacking in awareness and a few social skills, but nothing that's super out of the ordinary. She knows she isn't supposed to wet or mess herself in public, but often times she does it anyways, often with a babyish look of relief on her face. She's also fairly aloof in her lifestyle. She doesn't seem to know what she wants to do with her life, and seems to just need a crutch to lean on for a while, which we're happy to provide.
Taylor, is somewhat of an enigma. She's still in diapers, and doesn't seem to want to get out of them any time soon. She requires a chance at least 2 or 3 times a day, with 1 or two of them being messy changes. But other than that, she's steadfast with her life. She's preparing for the GED, and she's ready to figure something out for her life.
But all three of them share a very similar trait. Their bathroom habits truly don't seem to bother any one of them. So much so, that it seems to comforting to them all, if not downright sexual. I'm starting to learn each of their tells too. Taylor will suck her thumb when she's peeing or pooping, and even lift a leg and grunt if she needs to. Harper panics at first, but then gets lost in the relief of release, usually losing her awareness in the process. Millie will stand still when she's going, but now more often than ever, she'll look at me and bite her lip as she's going. As if to tell me she's been a bad girl, which I absolutely love.
A usual day, for the first few weeks of living together, would go like this. I would wake up in bed next to Millie, who very likely wet or messed herself in the night. Sometimes we'd have morning sex right then and there, but other times I'd help her get cleaned up. Get her in the shower, peel off her dirty panties and rinse her down. She loved when I helped her like that.
After I cleaned up Millie, I would go and check on Harper and Taylor. Harper also would usually wake up with wet or messy panties, and Taylor would almost always have a full diaper too. I'd get some new clothes for Harper to change into before taking Taylor into the other room and changing her. When I was done with Taylor, I'd check in again on Harper, making sure she got fresh ok.
Then, we'd start our day. Since I mostly worked from home, I'd slowly get started on my day. Millie would go about her day, usually spending time with Harper and Taylor. If anyone had any accidents, I'd happily help them get sorted out.
They have zero issues just going when the need hits them at home. And if we're out shopping or doing something fun, they'll just go if we're alone. If we're among people, I usually need to come to the rescue and figure something out, some more successful than others. Which brings us to our latest adventure, a trip home from the movies. |
Part 3: Post movies Discovey
The four of us decided to catch the recent rom com on a Friday night, to help take Harper and Taylors minds off of things, and just have a little fun at the end of a long week. None of us decided to be in anything fancy, as it was a laid back and mostly empty theater anyway. I dressed in some athletic shorts and a long sleeve shirt. Millie was in some baggy sweatpants and a t shirt. Harper wore some shorts and a t shirt. And Taylor also was in some sweatpants, in order to easily hide her diaper, as well as a baggy hoody.
During the movie, we all ate tons of move theater popcorn, and we each had a big soda to go along with it. I'm sure you already know where this is going. Halfway through the movie, Millie looks at me and grabs my hand.
"Steve, I have to pee so bad, it just hit me!"
I smile at her, but I can tell she's kind of panicked. So I ask,
"Well, can you make it to the bathroom?"
"No, I can't!" She says.
Shes still looking at me panicked, but then it seemed like she made up her mind and accepted her fate, and decided to enjoy it. She smiles back at me, grabbed my hand and put it on her crotch, bit her lip, and sat perfectly still as we watched the movie. Not ten seconds later, I started to feel warmth spread out in her sweatpants. I look over and she's peeing full force into her grey sweatpants. She's peeing so hard you can heat it too! I thought I saw Taylor and Harper look over at us, but I wasn't sure since I was so enthralled with what Millie was doing. She closed her as and breathed out a sigh of relief, as her pee soaked her panties, made her crotch and butt very wet as well, and soaked into the cheap movie seat beneath her. And after about a minute of peeing, she was done.
"Oh my god babe, that was incredibly sexy" I whisper to her.
She doesn't say anything, but just grabs my hand that's still on her crotch and gives it a big squeeze. I can tell she enjoyed it too, because she doesn't go to clean herself up. I, meanwhile, had a raging erection, and desperately wanted to have my way with Millie. But, knowing her, she would much rather not make a sexual scene in public.
Once the movie is over, we get up to walk out. With the lights on, Harper and Taylor are able to see us and say:
"Oh my gosh, Millie!" In unison.
"When did this happen??" Asked Harper.
"Maybe halfway through the movie" responded Millie.
"I drank my soda too fast, and I couldn't help it so, voila!"
"Well, I feel you there sis" said Taylor. "This diaper is waaayyy soaked. In fact, with how much soda I had, it'll probably burst before we get home!
"Well you two are lucky!" Said Harper. "You both went in secret in the movie, but now I have to go!"
"Ok everyone, then let's get going!" I said, wrapping things up. I shuffled us all out of the theater in a hurry, knowing the three girls needed to use the facilities.
We were out in the parking lot walking to my car, when disaster seemed to struck twice for Millie tonight.
"Damn that popcorn, now I need to shit! Like right now!" She said.
"Sweetie I'm sorry, what can I do?" I said, trying to help her out.
"Just get me to the car, quick!"
So we ran the last 50 or so yards to the car and got in all in a hurry, and out of sight of anyone else. But as soon as we were in:
"It's no use holding it in, it's coming out!" Said Millie.
And in a flash, we all heard her grunt and push as a massive mound of poop dropped itself in her panties. She had lifted herself off the front car seat to aid her bowel movement, but she didn't seem to need the help. The poop rushed out if her seemingly in an instant, and she had a mound of it in her backside just like that.
"Ahhhhhh" Millie said with another big sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry babe, but you know I found all of that sexy as hell right??" I said to her, not able to help myself.
"Yes I do know that, and I can't help myself either right now because that made me horny as hell!" Millie said, almost yelling.
She reached over and grabbed my now large dick and instantly started stroking me off. I was about to protest with Harper and Taylor in the back seat, but my mind went blank once she got to work. I reached over to her and started fondling her wet crotch with one hand and her shitty backside with the other. Millie had her hand in her crotch as well, quickly rubbing herself off as well. In about 30 seconds flat, we both came to a glorious orgasm, grunting and moaning right along with it. And in the silent aftermath, we both realized what just happened, and turned to look at Taylor and Harper in the backseat. I, however, did not expect what I saw.
"Oh my god guys were so sor-- what??" I said as I turned around.
Taylor and Harper were both rubbing themselves off, presumably to our frantic session they just witnessed. As I spoke, the two of them seemed to finish as well.
"Oh my GOD Millie you were right, that was so hot!" Harper said as she came down.
"Yes and you weren't kidding, his dick is so big!" Added Taylor.
"Wait woah. What's going on here??" I asked, extremely confused.
"I have a confession to make babe" said Millie. "We kind of... Planned this. Over the weeks we've been talking... You know how you and I love our wet and dirty times? Well, so do my sisters! Apparently our mom really screwed up all of us! And I told them how you absolutely love when I wet and mess myself, and Harper and Taylor asked if they could you know... Take part."
"Take part? What do you mean?" I said.
"Well I told them how big you are! Girls talk, you know! So I told them I'd poop my pants for you so you'd get all hard, and then I'd give you a handy for the girls to see!"
"Well... This is all a shock." I said back to her. "But why? I don't quite get what's going on here.
This is when Harper butted in: "Steve, I've been looking my whole life for someone like you. Someone that would love me for my constant wetting and messing, not ridicule me for it. And when I learned you loved everything Millie does for you, I couldn't believe it."
Taylor added, "same here Steve. All three of us are so broken in this way, we didn't think any one would ever find us attractive, take care of us. But so far, moving in with you guys has been the best thing that's ever happened to us."
So Millie continued again: "so Steve, can't you see? This is all a reward for the amazing person you are. You are mine... I love you from the bottom of my heart. And some days I feel like I don't show you that enough. So what's happening... What this is, is for you. Because the three of us know that no one would ever love us, and love this like the way you do, we've decided to reward you. Instead of hiding and being ashamed of our wetting and messing, Harper and Taylor are going to join me in embracing it, because we want to show you just how much we appreciate your taking care of us"
I was speechless. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and I thought I was about to cry. It was the sweetest, kindest thing I'd ever heard.
Millie continued. "So Steve, what's happening is, this is open. The girls and I have agreed, no boundaries. We are all one big family, we will all come and go as we please, pee and poop ourselves as we please, and most importantly... You will take care of us as you please."
"What?" I asked.
Harper said. "Steve, this is a scary world, and alot of times it's way too much pressure. I want... I want to be babied sometimes. Be your little girl."
Taylor butted in: "and I know I'm already in diapers but... I have no desire to ever go to normal clothes. I want to use diapers forever. Will you always change me and take care of me?"
And then Millie added: "and as for me, Steve. Messing and wetting myself for you is often the highlight of my day. But more than that, you're taking care of me, babying me, cleaning me up, makes me feel safe. Will you do that for me? For us?"
I paused a second, then said: "but, don't I already?"
The three of them laughed. Millie said, "Do you not remember what just happened? All three of us LOVE peeing pooping ourselves for you. It turns us on. So, this is all to say, you're going to be getting alot more sex from me, see alot more masturbating from them, and, if you're willing, a LOT more fun in the future."
And now, it all finally clicked. I turned to Millie.
"You're ok with this? You're my girl... One day, I hope you'd want to be my wife. Having Harper and Taylor here won't change anything, will it?"
Millie looked like she was going to cry, and Harper and Taylor let out a big "awww".
"Steve, it's exactly for that reason that this is happening. They need you. I need you. And you love us and what we do. So if you're ok with getting more of me, and more of us, we already are!"
With that, she really did start crying tears of joy. I instantly grabbed her for a big hug, telling her a I loved her.
"Get in here you two!" I said to Harper and Taylor. We all laughed and cried in a big family group hug in our car. And as we broke it off Harper said...
"Steve, I hope it's okay we start being more open right now, because I just peed all over your backseat!"
I looked down at her shorts, which were a much darker shade of gray.
"Yes that's absolutely ok Harper, I love every second of it!"
We all laughed some more, and began our drive home, to begin our new life as one big happy family. |
Part 4: Life as it became
The morning following the movie, things changed almost immediately. As I woke up next to Millie, who had a fresh load in her panties, I was surprised.
"Good morning baby!" She said to me.
"Good morning" I replied. "Need a change my love"?
"No, I don't think so. I've been liking the feeling of a load in my panties lately, so I'm gonna leave these on for a while."
"Well, ok then!" I said, surprised. "You let me know when you're ready, and I'll come get you cleaned up, okay baby?"
"Okay hon" she said back to me. I gave her a kiss, and hopped out to go check on the girls. But as I opened the door, I saw Harper standing there, waiting and im tears!
"I'm sorry Steve, I pooped my panties overnight and didn't see it until I woke up, and I made a mess everywhere!" She said, mostly incoherently as she was crying so hard. She had poop all down the back of her legs, and a large mass of it still in her underwear. It looked like a very loose poop overnight, likely thanks to the movie popcorn we all had.
"Shh shh shh, there there Harper, let me take care of you, it's ok" I said to her as I pulled her in for a hug. She cried into my shoulder for a minute, before I took her back to her room. The bed was a mess, with a pile of wet poo sitting on her side.
"Ok sweetie, this is no problem at all. I can get this cleaned up in no time. Would you like my help cleaning you up?" I asked her
"Mmhmm" she replied, through tears. I took her to her bathroom, put her in the shower, and turned it on. I slid her panties off of her and took off her shirt as well. I rinsed her down good, making sure to get poo out of every nook and cranny. Once she was done, I took her messy panties, emptied them in the toilet, and threw the panties in the washer.
"There, see? All better, right?" I said to Harper.
"Yes, thank you" she said with a quiet smile.
"Ok now you go ahead and get dressed for the day while I get you some new bedding, ok?" I said to her.
"Ok Steve, thank you!"
I walked out the door, grabbed the messy sheets, and headed for the washing machine.
Once that was done I headed to the kitchen for breakfast, which is where I found Taylor.
"Hey there!" I said as I walked in. "How are you this morning?"
"Good!" She said to me. "I knew Harper was going to have a melt down once I saw her messy night, so I came down for breakfast early."
"Ah I gotcha." I replied. "Do you need a diaper change? Or are you all clean?'
"Oh no, this bad boy is nearly filled to the max, thanks to last night's movie soda" she said, laughing. "I don't need a change yet though, I like it! And besides, I had my coffee already, so I'd rather fill this diaper up fully before getting into a fresh one."
"Suit yourself!" I said to her, as I sat down to have some cereal. Not long after, Millie joined us. She was still in her messy full panties, and was wearing only a tank top.
"Hey baby! You look so hot with your full panties" I said to her.
"Aw thanks baby, I know you love it!" She said to me, giving me a kiss. "I decided not to get dressed until after breakfast, so here I am!"
She sat down next to me, smoothing her poop across her ass and up her pussy. She had a look of near-orgasm as she did so, prompting me to get insanely hard. As we ate our cereal, Harper came down and joined us as well.
"Hey you, feeling better" I said to her.
"Yes I am, and ready for breakfast!" She said with a smile.
She also sat down with us for some cereal, and we all enjoyed the morning together. Sometime later though, I saw Taylor start fidgeting, and I could tell she likely had to poop now. A few minutes later she started sucking her thumb, so I knew a load was very soon to be in her diapers. But before it was, she stood up and said:
"Oh screw this I don't need to hide it. I'm about to poop, is it okay to just do it right here?"
"Yes absolutely, go for it!" The rest of us said.
With that, she bent over a little, started sucked her thumb, and pushed. We heard a few rather large farts, followed by the sound of a large poop dropping into her diapers. The smell hit us instantly, but it didn't bother any of us.
"Oh my godddddddd" Taylor said, pushing out her poop. "This feels so amazing..."
We all stared at her butt as the diaper kept expanding with her poop. It truly was a sight to behold. But then, she did something that really surprised me.
"Fuck that turned me on, is it ok if I go rub one off before you change me?" She said to me.
"Wow! Um, yes, please go right ahead!" I said back to her with wide eyes.
With that, she turned around, one hand already down the front of her diaper, the other feeling the large mass on her behind, walking down the hall to her room. Suffice it to say, I was very turned on, and Millie and Harper knew it.
"Damn that really was hot, wasn't it?" Millie asked.
"Yeah it was, good lord!" Said Harper.
Both of them had flushed faces, as if Taylors scene caused them to get a little heated as well. We continued eating our breakfast though. And after a few more minutes, we heard a loud hell from down the hall.
"STEVE! CAN YOU COME CHANGE ME PLEASE??" Taylor shouted.
"Looks like that's my que!" I said to Harper and Millie.
"Go for it babe." Said Millie. Harper, come with me and we'll get changed for the day, okay?"
"Sure!" Said Harper. We all left the table.
I walked into Taylors room, who was already laying down in bed with her legs up, ready to be changed.
"Hey Steve, thanks for waiting, I really needed that cum... Fuck it was good." She said to me.
"No worries, it sounded like you enjoyed yourself!" I said to her as I untaped her diaper.
Taylor began sucking her thumb as I opened up the diaper, and I was treated with an enormous amount of poop. It was all over her ass, deep in her butt crack, and all the way up her vagina as well.
"Taylor! What did you do??" I said to her.
She looked at me, smiling: "sorry, but it really turns me on to just mush the poop everywhere, it really gives an amazing orgasm..."
"Well you are a dirty girl, aren't you! A dirty and naughty girl!" I said to her, seeing how she'd react.
Suddenly putting on a baby voice, Taylor said "yes I am daddy, will you clean me up?"
I could hardly resist. Without saying anything I got to work. I grabbed plenty of whipes and began whiping down her vagina. She closed her eyes and kept sucking her thumb, seeming to really enjoy it. Once that was clean, I lifted her legs all the way up and cleaned up her backside too. I tossed the dirty diaper in the trash, and taped her up with a new one.
"There, all better you naughty girl!" I said to her.
She hopped out of bed with a smile. "Thank you Steve!" She ran off to her closet to get changed, but as she passed me she gave my very hard dick a squeeze. Before I could say anything, she looked back at me with a wink, and entered her closet.
Many of our days were now like this. All three of them asked for my help after a wetting or messing accident. Millie would always love my help, but she was also gracious enough to clean herself up if either Taylor or Harper needed my help at the same time. And more and more often, everyone was really getting frisky! Just like with Taylor's masturbation session after her breakfast poop, soon Millie and Harper began joining in. Harper would often wet herself, no matter where she was, while rubbing herself at the same time. And Millie, she would always get turned on after an accident. But now, she would start demanding to have sex, or at least a mutual handy, right as she did the deed. I was truly in heaven, and it seemed like each of the girls were too. For example, this was the scene a few weeks later...
"Steve?" Millie said, coming into our room late at night. I was already in bed, watching some TV when she walked in.
"Yeah babe?" I said back to her.
"I'm gonna have an accident..." She said to me, looking down. I quickly got out of bed and walked out of bed to help her. But as I got up to her, I could tell things were about to go well for me.
"Yeah babe I really have to pee..." She said, biting her lip. "Oh god it's already happening! It's coming out!"
She grabbed my hand and shoved it in her crotch, and stood as still as a statue. Right away, I felt warm pee flood into the grey yoga pants she had on. It hissed, loudly as it hit the wet cloth and ran down her legs. I just stared into her eyes as she went, rapidly getting a hard on at the same time. She let out a very loud moan, and then a long sigh of relief as she peed. As she finished up, she reached out for my dick, and then pushed me down onto the bed.
"Daddy, I was bad, I had an accident" she said as I laid down.
"Yes Millie, you've been very bad. Now, I'm going to have to punish you!" I said, yanking down her yoga pants.
Right as I did that though, I watched Harper and Taylor both walk into the room. I looked over to them with a look of surprise, but the two of them said nothing. They just sat down, mesmerized with the two of us on top of one another, about to do the deed. Harper sat in a nearby chair and instantly start rubbing herself, while Taylor did the same sitting down on the floor. I turned back to Millie:
"Let's give them a show, shall we?"
Before waiting for an answer, I pulled her soaking wet panties to the side and plunged myself deep inside of her. I won't share ALL of the dirty details, but it was an incredible session of love making...
Harper meanwhile, was enjoying it as well. She sat on the chair, watching us intently as we screwed one another. As we came, she closed her eyes and started peeing herself, while cumming at the same time. She moaned a long, glutteral moan as she came, showering the floor with her pee and cum.
Taylor was lying on her back on the floor, keeping an eye on us as she furiously rubbed herself off in her diaper. As Millie and I finished up, we had Taylor let a a high pitched moan of bliss as she came as well, followed by a long hissing into her diaper, presumably a combo of piss and cum as well.
As we all sat there in our post sex bliss, I couldn't help but laugh.
"Well, that certainly was something!" I said.
The rest of them laughed along with me, when Harper spoke up: "sorry if we made that weird! We just heard you guys getting to it, and we both instantly for horny as well so... Decided to come watch!"
Taylor added: "I'm not sorry, that was hot as hell!"
We all laughed again. Then I asked, "ok who needs help cleaning up?"
Everyone raised their hands, and I just smiled. |
Part 5: the road trip to Disney world
A few more weeks went by, with all of us settling into our new roles. Harper and Taylor learned to love their new city and new home. Harper was actively job hunting, but she really wanted a work from home job so she wouldn't have to go back to constantly monitoring her bathroom habits. Taylor meanwhile, took and passed the GED, making her a successful high school graduate. She's looking into colleges, all online or community colleges, both to save money and to stay at home as well. And Millie and we're as happy as ever. I fell into my role of caretaker for everyone, and Millie started becoming more and more sexual and open with me as well, as if she wasn't enough already.
It wasn't just Millie either. Harper and Taylor have started being more and more sexual themselves, often watching Millie and I's sexcapades, and giving themselves a good orgasm following some of their bathroom trips.
Harper is still rather emotionally stunted, often coming to me crying after particularly wet or messy accidents. She can't help herself, and instantly reverts into a small child when she makes a mess in her pants. I'm more than happy to help her however, and calm her down.
Taylor is still just her wild self. She's peeing and pooping her diapers more than ever, while sitting in it longer and longer as well, taking after Millie. She seems to get really turned on after some of her messes, and allows me to clean her up only after she's properly orgasmed once or twice.
So as the weeks went by, I decided we all needed some de stressing. So, I booked us all a long weekend trip to Disney world! Everyone was ecstatic with the idea, and they instantly began packing.
We have tickets for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so in order to maximize our time, we decided to get to the park when it opened Friday morning. The only downside is, the park is an 8 hour drive away, meaning we were leaving at about 2am.
The day before, we all got to talking.
"Ok guys, we've got a long drive ahead of us tomorrow. Is everyone ready?" I said.
"Yes!" The three ladies said I'm unison.
"It's a long 8 hour drive, and we're leaving at 2 am. This means we are all going to bed early, got it??" I said sternly.
"Hey wait, can't we just sleep in the car?" Said Taylor.
"Well... Yes, yes you can. But I'm driving, so I'll be going to bed early for sure!" I replied. "You three can all sleep in the car though, if that's what you want to do."
"Ok phew!" Said Harper. "Thank God, I hadn't planned for that!"
"Here's another thing you may not have planned for." I said to all three of them. "What are we doing for bathroom breaks? Because, if possible, I don't want to stop the entire way there."
Millie and Harper looked at me a bit concerned. Taylor on the other hand, said:
"Hey don't worry about me. I'll have a fresh diaper on in the morning, and I'm gonna sit in that baby the whole way there, no matter what happens! I'm excited actually, it's gonna be a fun challenge to try and pace myself!"
I laughed, but then looked over to Harper and Millie. "Ok well what about you two. I don't want to have to pull over and clean either of you up. What's the plan? Are you guys gonna hold it for eight hours? Or wear diapers yourselves?"
The two of them thought for a second, before Millie spoke up: "we'll shoot, why not I guess. It makes sense, Harper. We won't have to stop and waste time, and we can just use them whenever we want, without worrying about any sort of clean up."
"But, what if we pee too much? Or what if we make a really big poop? Won't that be bad?" Harper said, worryingly.
"Well, for me, I'm actually starting to like keeping a poop in my panties for a while! It's nice and warm, it's comfortable, and makes me feel naughty too!" Millie said.
"Yeah and pee is the same way! It's super warm and it makes me feel all comfy inside any time I go in them. Plus, The diapers are super absorbent so they should last the whole way there. And on top of that, if you ever start getting uncomfortable, just add a little more pee to the pile, and it'll warm back up for you!" Taylor said.
Harper was silent, but then threw up her arms in defeat. "Oh the hell with it! I'll diaper up. What's the worst that could happen?"
"Ok then, it's settled!" I said. "Tomorrow morning, I'll put a fresh diaper on each of you. So if you don't want a steaming load to sit on tomorrow, I suggest getting your poops out tonight while you can!"
They all laughed at that one, which made me smile. Everyone ended up hitting the hay early ahead of our long day.
We woke up only a few short hours later at about 1:30 am. Taylor and Harper were both zombies, barely staying awake, but luckily Millie was lucid enough to help me get everyone ready to go.
Millie woke up dry, which was a good thing for the morning madness, but might not bode well for her later. Taylor woke up with a thoroughly messed diaper, so I took care of her first, getting her cleaned up and ina fresh one for the road. Harper only wet herself over night, but she was so tired in the morning she didn't even have the energy to cry about it. I cleaned her up as well and put her in one of Taylors fresh diapers.
With that, I packed the car and got everyone's butts in their seats. Taylor and Harper were back asleep as soon as they were buckled in, which Millie and I laughed at. We hit the road a little after 2, on the long way to Disney world! Millie, bless her, tried to stay awake to keep me company, but she too fell back asleep about a half an hour into the drive. No matter though, because I had a red bull and an audio book with my name on it.
The hours started to pass by, and pretty soon the sun would be coming up as well. Three hours into our eight hour drive, things started to get very interesting. I started to hear a rustling on the back seat. Harper and Taylor were still asleep, but Harper seemed to be really restless, and tossing and turning. Then all of a sudden she got really still and smiled. I did my best to keep watching the road while watching her in the rearview mirror, when I heard a really loud hissing. And it was then where I could tell that she was wetting herself in her sleep.
It went on for about a minute, and even in the darkness of the early morning I could tell that her diaper was turning from white to yellow. Once she finished up she rolled to the side one more time, and continued sleeping.
Another hour later, at about halfway through the drive, I wasn't even paying attention to the drive when I heard another loud hissing. It came from the back again, but this time it was Taylor who was wettinh herself in her sleep. She hadn't moved at all, save for her putting her thumb in her mouth as she went.
Finally, it was about 7:00 a.m., the sun was coming up, and we only had 2 hours to go until Disney world. Slowly the girls started to wake up one by one.
Harper was first, and oh boy she was not happy. She woke up slowly at first, realizing that she wet her diapers in her sleep. In normal Harper fashion, she started tearing up, about to cry. She was looking at me in the rear view mirror, on the verge of a meltdown. But before she did, I reached to her in the backseat (eyes still on the road), and put my hand on her leg. I whispered, (since people were still sleeping):
"Shh shh, it's ok sweetie. You're ok, it's just a little accident. This is why we diapered you up, it's ok."
She seemed to calm down a little, and didn't start bawling.
"Thanks Steve" she said, sniffling. She put her hand on my hand, and sat trying to calm herself down for a few minutes.
I brought my hand up to the front seat when we heard Taylor start to wake up as well. She slowly opened her eyes, and slowly smiled once she realized she had a soaked diaper between her legs as well. She looked at me in the rearview mirror as well, as she stuck a hand in her diaper to play with herself a little bit. It's become commonplace for Taylor to masturbate after an accident, including when she wakes up in the morning, so this surprised none of us. Once she seemed to come to orgasm, I said to her:
"Good morning sleepy head, how are you feeling?"
"So much better now!" She said to me, still tired.
Finally, Millie was starting to stir. But, little did we know, we were in for a show. With under two hours to go to Disney world, she had yet to use her diaper! She stayed dry overnight, which is becoming more and more.of a rarity for her. However, what happened next was even more interesting.
"What time is it?" Millie said, still half asleep.
"It's a little after 6 in the morning, how'd you sleep?
"I slept ok" she said to me with a smile. But all the sudden, her smile quickly turned to a look of determination.
"Hold on," she said. "The coffee cought up with me, I need to take care of this."
Then all the sudden, Millie sprang up out of her seat into a crouch, so that her butt was in the air. Right away, a loud torrent of pee was heard hitting her diaper. It instantly turned it yellow and made it sag well below where it was originally. But then almost simultaneously, Millie let out a fantastic, glutteral grunt, signifying she was pushing out a massive poop. We heard a rather large, wet fart, with the smell hitting us almost instantly. Right after that, I heard a crinkle and glanced over as the back of her diaper expanded to accept the poop, then sag as it dropped to the now soaking wet bottom.
"Holy shit this is so wet!" Millie said, half disgusted but half turned on.
She grunted again, and pushed out another load of poop into the diaper, adding onto the pile with a cacophony of farts. Her diaper was properly soiled now, with the front yellow the entire way to the waist band, and the grundle and back a darker shade of brown. With her movement now finished, she sighed in relief.
"Ahhhhhh" she said, sitting back down with a squish. "Wow I needed that. As soon as I woke up I felt the poop knocking at the door!"
I looked over at her with a smile, and being ridiculously turned on as well.
"Wow Millie, that was amazing!" Taylor said in awe. "You go girl!"
We all laughed at that, and chatted about our upcoming adventure in the Magic kingdom.
With about a half an hour left, I changed topic and directed my attention to Harper and Taylor in the backseat.
"Hey you two back there, I couldn't help but notice neither of you have pooped this morning. We don't check into the hotel until later this afternoon, and since this is Disney world, we'd be kicked out if I changed you in the park somewhere! So unless you want to walk around all day in messy diapers, get to it!"
"Aw shoot, that's right!" Taylor said. "No matter, I can push one out right now, will you have time to change me before we go into the park?"
"Sure!" I replied. " I have to change Millie for sure, I can change you too no problem."
"Well, I don't exactly have to go right now!" Harper said, worriedly. "What should I do??"
I replied, "well, the way I say it Harper, you have two options. One, I put you in a clean diaper, and you can just go around all day in one of those like Taylor"
She didn't seem to like this option.
"Or", I continued. "We can put you in a pull-up. It's still a diaper, but it's muchore form fitting, and feels like big girl panties! You can pee in them too, even though they hold a little less. The only problem is, when you poop in them, it'll be quite obvious to anyone who sees you that you've pooped-- pullups don't hold poopies in well!"
"Hmmm." Harper said, thinking. "I think I'm going to go with the pull-up. I really don't have to poop, and if I do later on, maybe it'll be close enough to time for us to leave that it will work out!"
"Ahh, a gambler I see!" I said, smiling. "Works for me if it works for you! But if you do end up pooping in them, you're gonna have to hop out of them pretty quick! So fair warning!"
"Yes Steve!" Harper said with a smile.
We soldiered on to Disney world. Before we knew it, we were at the park. I pulled into a parking spot all the way in the back, backing in so we had some privacy for the diaper changes. I popped open the trunk, and had all three girls lie down in the back.
"Ok girls, hop up and lie down! It'll be quickest this way."
No one complained, and in they went. As I untaped, everyone's diapers, I couldn't help but marvel at how amazing this situation was. Taylor was sucking her thumb, absentmindedly rubbing her vagina as she stared at me. Harper had her shirt pulled up to her face, as if trying to hide from the embarrassment. And Millie, whose crotch was absolutely covered in poop, had her hands by her side, proudly staring at me with a big smile on her face.
"You three are the cutest, sexiest, most adorable things I have ever seen" I said to them.
All three of them smiled: "awww! Thanks Steve!"
I got to changing, knowing that having my way with Millie (or even one of the other girls) would get us tossed out in a heart beat, so I vowed to just enjoy the day like normal. As agreed, Taylor put on another one of her big, bulky diapers. But instead of covering it up with leggings or sweatpants like she normally would, she wore a just-above-the-knee length skirt, due to how hot it was that day. For Harper, I pulled up her pull-up, and dressed her in a skirt as well, not too dissimilar from Taylors. And Millie, taking the longest to clean up, got to wear a pair of panties. Since she cleared out her bowels this morning, she didn't need a diaper
She likely wouldn't mess herself again until tonight, and some wet panties for her wouldn't be a big deal. She covered up with a tight pair of running shorts.
"Ok girls, off we go!" I said to them
We hopped up, and headed off into what ended up being the best amusement park trip I've ever had!!! |
Part 6: Disney World Hi-jinks, Part 1
So with that our Disney world adventure began. I, am a Disney fanatic. I had went with my family to Disney world numerous times growing up, and I've wanted to go back for some time now. Frankly, I would have gone alone if no one wanted to join me! But luckily, the girls came with me and made the trip even more memorable.
We got to Disney world within the first hour Magic Kingdom opened. We had plans to hit every ride we could! Space mountain, Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, Tea Cups, Peter Pan, Buzz light-year, everything! But in order to do that, we had to be non-stop on the move. Since Disney is a mad-house, we barely took time to relax! We went from ride to ride like mad men. But who cares, right? We had fun!
But, as I'm sure you must be dying to hear, this trip was made interesting for another reason. We went to Disney in late summer, which means temperatures were usually in the 90s. Meaning, each of us see drinking lots of fluids that day.
About halfway through the day, things really started to get fun. While waiting in line out in the sun for Thunder Mountain Railroad, Taylor was the first one to crack.
"Oh no guys... I only made it four hours, because I'm about to wet myself here!" Taylor whispered to us.
Harper and Millie grinned, while I whispered back to her: "well, are you ok? Is there anything I can do?"
"No..." She answered. She was doing a slight potty dance, but with so many people around us, she kept it to a minimum.
"I might as well get it over with, right?"
None of us said a word, as she started to stand perfectly still, leaning against the railing. I'm typical Taylor fashion, she also started sucking her thumb. Suddenly, we each heard the hissing coming from her diaper, and we knew she was going. But again, since we were in a very public place, we all had to keep it very casual.
"Feeling better?" I asked once she was done.
"Much!" She replied with a smile.
"Does it even feel good today? It's so dang hot, I'm not sure that would be as refreshing as it normally is!" I said to her.
"It's not as nice, but I'm certainly not complaining. Wetting my diaper is a very comforting thing, I'll never not love it!" She said with another whisper.
"I can kind of agree with you there Taylor" Millie said. "Whenever I wet myself, whatever the weather or time of day, I can't help but feel the same. It's a... Familiar feeling. Makes me feel safe, feel at home even."
"I don't think I've ever thought of it that way before" Harper replied. "I've never really disliked when I wet or mess myself, but whenever I do I can't help but be embarrassed, especially in public! That's usually why I cry when I do. I can't help it." She said, a little sadly.
We all looked at Harper with a look of sympathy. "No need to feel bad, Harper! We all have our own things to deal with." I told her. "Whatever makes you happy, whatever helps you get through it is all you need. Nothing more!"
Harper smiled, and we all returned to our casual chatting, waiting to get on the ride. But once we got there, I could tell we were in for some more fun.
"Ah shit" Harper said. "Now I have to pee!"
Normally this would not be a problem, but we were about three groups away from getting on the ride, and we'd been waiting for almost 45 minutes.
"I say just let it go, Harper! I did, and I feel so much better!" Said Taylor.
"I'm not sure I can just go, Taylor. There's so many people around me!" She retorted back.
"Suit yourself" Taylor said. "But knowing us, I'm not sure you'll have much choice in a few more minutes!"
Harper started to look panicked, so I moved in next to her. "Harper, you ride with me. Taylor, you ride with Millie in the car in front of us, ok?"
They nodded their heads and switched sides. Meanwhile, I grabbed Taylors side, and whispered to her.
"You'll be ok Harper, no need to worry. I'm here, you can let go any time you want."
"I know Steve I know..." She said to me. "I just don't want to do it in front of so many people, I'm gonna try and wait until after the ride."
"Ok sweetie, go for it." I said to her. And with that, we got on the ride. We both sat down, with Millie and Taylor sitting right in front of us. And in the moment, the joy that is Disney world kicked in, because whatever stress and anxiety Harper was feeling instantly faded and turned into excitement. The train left the station, went around the bend and started up the lift hill. Once we got to the top, all our hands were up, and we all screamed as we went down! But, right at the first turn at the bottom of the hill, Harper grabs my arm, and screams in my ear:
"IM PEEING MY DIAPER!"
I just looked at her wide eyed, but couldn't really say anything, considering we were on a roller coaster. It didn't matter what I had to say anyway, because Harper was already back to screaming with delight, with her hands in the air.
Once the ride finished, we all hopped off and walked out. Once we were more by ourselves, I looked at Harper.
"Are you ok there?? What happened??"
She just smiled. "Well, I could tell once we went up the hill I wasn't going to be able to hold it. And once we started going down hill, I couldn't hold it if I tried! The ride was so shaky and fun, my pee just came right out of me!"
We all laughed, seeing as how Harper seemed to be ok with it all.
"Well I'm glad you're all good then crazy girl. How's the pull up feel?"
Harper thought for a second, took a few steps in place, then gave her butt a little wiggle. "It feels like a mix between a wet diaper and some wet panties! Is it sagging? Can anyone see it below my skirt?" She asked.
The three of us looked down.
"No, you're all good honey!" Millie said to her.
"Bend down quick?" Taylor asked.
Harper bent down as if she was tying one of her shoes.
"It shows a little when you bend over, but don't worry, all diapers do that.
"Ok then!" Harper said, popping back up with a final. "My pull up is nice and warm right now, so I'm feeling gooooood!"
We all laughed at the funny voice she used, and started heading to our next ride.
A few more hours went by incident free, before the next excitement came through. It was now around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I had been up for almost 15 hours now, so I was getting very tired. And even though the girls slept in the car, I could tell they were too. We'd decided that after one or two more rides, we'd call it a day at Magic Kingdom and head back to check in to our hotel, and go swim at the pool.
So, we were heading to it's a small world, when Millie started lagging behind us.
"You ok love?" I asked her.
"Oh yeah babe, I just finally have to pee now, I'm looking for a good place to let it out quick."
"Oh, ok!" I said to her. "Were you gonna let it out slowly, while we walked? Or pull off to the side and let it all out quick?"
"No there's still too many people around, people would see the puddles under my feet from miles away." She said to me. "But that spot over there, that looks promising.
Millie pointed to a ledge back way off to the side of the main walkway. The ledge was right up against the grass and some bushes, so if she sat on it just right, she could pee off the back of it with her butt hanging off.
"That's perfect, I'm about to pee right here on the sidewalk, let's go!" She ran ahead of us to go and sit down, while I snagged Taylor and Harper. Once we all walked over there, Millie was already mid pee.
"Ahhhhhh that feels so good..." Millie said.
Because she was in panties and a pair of black shorts, there wasn't any worry of it showing or anything. But because how furiously she was peeing, she'll certainly have a big wet spot for an hour or two.
"Thank God, I really needed that. You're right Taylor, peeing my panties really does make everything so much better. It's so comforting, and really caps off an amazing day!"
She was still going after almost a minute, with the loud hiss against her shorts finally slowing to a trickle.
"So what now kiddos, one more ride and we call it a day?"
"Sounds good to me!" "Yes" "Absolutely!" All three of them said.
We then trecked off to the Haunted mansion, one more calm, slower ride to wind down on. Once inside, the cool air was immediately refreshing, and we were excited to sit for the ride. However, it wasn't long until Harper's delayed bowel movement snuck up on her.
We were maybe half way through the ride when she stopped smiling immediately and grabbed my arm.
"Steve, oh my god. I have to poop"
"Oh no!" I said back. "Can you hold it until we're off the ride?"
"I don't know, I don't think so... Maybe!"
Harper immediately buckled over, holding her stomach, and she propped her foot up underneath her butt to help her hold it in. Luckily the ride isn't too long, and we were nearing the end. However, Harper said.
"Oh my god Steve, it's about to come out! And I think it's going to be alot!"
"We're almost there Harper, keep holding on!"
"I'm afraid if I get up it's all going to come out!"
Before I could respond we came around the last turn, and was back at the loading dock. I stepped out, and took harpers hand. She gingerly accepted it, and slowly stood up, still holding her stomach. She was also hunched over, taking small steps, and unashamedly holding hear rear end with her hand rather tightly.
"Ok Harper" I told her, "we can make it out of the park in about five minutes if we hurry. Do you think you can make it?"
"No Steve I don't think I can, but I'll try!"
The four of us then we're back on the main walk way in the park. Unfortunately, we couldn't go as fast as I'd liked, with Harper shuffling so slowly. But it didn't matter, because only a minute later, it happened.
"Guys. Oh no. Guys, it's coming out, I'm pooping myself, I'm pooping!" She said, very panicked.
Harper then stood still, in the middle of the walk way, still hunched over and pushed out her poop into her pull up. She even had on that face that toddlers make when they poop, that one where they kinda look all deadpan, but strain their face as they push out the poo. She did that over and over again for a solid minute, and there was nothing the rest of us could do but watch.
"Oh my god, Harper! That one really smells!" Taylor said to her, laughing.
Harper couldn't respond though, as she was still filling her pull up. As she went, the pull up continued to sag lower and lower, until we could see the brown pull up hanging below the hem of her skirt. While it was an incredibly sexy sight, I knew I had to help her.
I whispered to her as she finished up: "Harper, your pull-up is about to fall right off you, you're going to have to grab it with your one hand."
She looked at me with eyes as big as bowls. She quickly took her off hand and grabbed her pull up through her skirt, holding it to her side. I looped my arm through her other arm, and the four of us made our way out of the park. Harper had tears in her eyes, but she was handling it like a champ.
Thankfully, we made it all the way to the car without any farther issue. Once we got there, we saw there were no other people around us, and we all relaxed.
"So Harper, feeling better now that you pooped?"
"Yes, oh my god I can't believe that happened!" She said, with a hand still holding up her pull up."
"Im so proud of you for not crying too like a big girl! Good job!"
She smiled at me, and Taylor and Millie have her a little clap.
"Also, since we're all alone back here, you can go ahead and let go of your pull up and I'll clean you up."
Harper again smiled, quickly let go of her skirt, and we all watched as her pull-up immediately slid down her legs and landed on the pavement with a huge *plop*!
We all kind of stared in shock for a second at that one, before breaking out into fits of laughter. I promptly cleaned everyone up, and we headed back to check into the hotel. |
Chapter 7: Disney World Water Park
Day two of our Disney world adventure wasn't nearly as interesting, bathroom wise. We spent the day at Epcot, which was amazing! And everyone wet themselves at one point or another, but it was much more controlled and expected for the most part.
Day three however, turned out to be amazing for everyone. We decided to spend our last day at Disney world at one of the water parks. Since it was summer, we felt that cooling off in the water was the best way to spend our time. Plus, for Millie and Harper at least, wearing a swimsuit meant they could pee whenever and wherever they wanted! All they had to do was make it look like they were dripping wet, or even pee in the water or on a ride and they would be good to go. Pooping however, was a different matter, which you will soon come to learn.
Taylor, bless her heart, had a bit of a different experience than the rest of us. While she could have worn a swim suit, she really didn't want to. Somehow she found a swim diaper that fit her. It essentially looked like a cross between bikini bottoms and an actual diaper. Maybe a little bulkier, but you couldn't tell unless you were standing right next to her. It also was apparently very tight at the legs and waist, so as to avoid any potential wets and messes from leaking out.
So on our last morning in Disney world, we all got up and got dressed for the waterpark. Millie and Harper both packed one piece suits. They were pretty plain-- each had criss-cross straps at the top, an open spot in the back, and a smaller, but still sexy, butt area that allowed their cheeks to show off alot, with that suits going up their cracks as well. Taylor ended up going the two piece route, even with her swim diaper. She surprisingly pulled it off though. It was a simple black top, with her swim diaper being a cobalt blue. Luckily for her, the diaper was form fitting enough that no one should think twice about it.
We got to the water park maybe an hour after it opened.
"Ok girls, this is gonna be fun!" I told them as we searched for a spot by the wave pool to set our stuff.
"Hell yeah!" Millie said as she gave me a kiss. "I love water parks!"
"We do too!" Said Harper and Taylor.
"Ok now so you all know the drill. Pee whenever and wherever you want, just be sure you are either dripping wet from water, or in the water altogether. Taylor, do as you please!"
"Don't mind if I do!" Taylor said back to me. She then spread her legs apart a bit and out her hands on her hips as if she were super girl. Apparently, she was already letting out the first pee of the day!
"Wow Taylor, already?" I said. "It's only 10 in the morning!"
"I know, but I had alot of coffee this morning, so I might as well!" She said, laughing. "Besides, I never get to wear my swim diapers, they are so fun! They don't really absorb pee very well, so it stays all pooled up in the crotch and keeps me nice And comfy!"
"But doesn't that give you problems?" I asked her.
"Nah, i can either empty it out in the pool or on a ride, or off to the side behind a tree or something if I need to." She replied.
"Well, ok then! You enjoy!"
And with that, we were off to the first ride. With water parks, you kinda just go on what you can, when you can. So we started at one edge of the park, going on a few different tube rides, log flumes and body slides. About halfway through the day, we ended up back at the wave pool for a bit. Millie and I decided to get some sun for a bit, sitting out on the beach chairs, while Taylor and Harper splashed around in the pool in front of us.
"Isn't this nice baby?" I asked Millie.
"So nice Steve, thank you for bringing us here!" She said back. "I can tell we all really needed this."
"Yeah we really did, didn't we" I said. "I hope everyone is having fun."
"Of course we are! Look!" Millie said back, pointing at Harper and Taylor. The two of them were splashing, swimming around and laughing the heads off. It was so nice to see them having a good time.
"Hey you two!" Taylor said to us, walking out of the water. "I think Harper needs some help!"
I looked over to Harper, who was standing still about waist deep in the water. She was staring right at us, but not really focusing on us either.
"Oh lord, I hope she's ok" I said as I got up. But as I did, Harper started smiling, still standing there.
"Oh honey, I think she's peeing herself!" Millie said to me.
"Haha I bet you're right, let me go check on her!" I said, walking out into the water.
As I got closer to her, she noticed I was walking towards her and smiled. "Hey Steve!" She said with a wave.
"Hey Harper, you doing ok over here?" I asked.
"Oh yeah I'm fine! I was just starting to wet myself, so I just stood up and let it out. I'm still going actually!" She said back.
Sure enough, once I stood right up next to her, the water was a good bit warmer, and the faintest bit yellow as well.
"You naughty girl!" I said, bumping her with my arm. "I'm proud of you though, not crying while outside with a bunch of people around!"
"Hey I'm not naughty!" She said with an adorable pout. " But thank you though! Once I realized no one could see me peeing in the water, I just decided to go for it!"
"Well good for you sweetie. You have fun!" I said to her, walking back to my chair.
"Will do!" She said back.
Eventually we all hopped into the wave pool for a while, before heading off to hit a few more rides. While we were waiting for one of the big four person tube rides, things really started to get interesting again, this time with Taylor. We were about halfway up the big staircase to the top of the ride, when she leans over to me.
"Hey Steve." She whispered.
"Yes?"
"Remember how I said I had a bunch of coffee this morning?"
"...yes?" I replied, cautiously.
"Well, we're about to have a very big problem." She said, now hunched over a little.
"Oh no" I said, a little too loudly.
"What's wrong?" Millie asked, turning to me.
"Taylor has to poop, and it doesn't look good."
"Oh my." She said back to me.
Harper, Millie and I discussed if there was anything we could do. It was a similar situation to two days ago, in that we'd been waiting for maybe 30 minutes now, and had maybe 15 more to go until we can go down the ride. Unfortunately, we came up with nothing.
"I'm sorry Taylor, but it looks like we're stuck here. Unless, you think we should head down?"
"No!" She exclaimed. "I want to go on this ride dangit!"
"Well, do you think you can hold it?" I asked.
"No, I'm pretty certain I've got about ten minutes tops before these swim diapers become way fuller than they are meant to be."
"Oh dear..." I said to her.
We kind of stood in silence for a bit, waiting for the inevitable to happen. That is, right before we hit the top of the ride, I had an idea.
"Hey Taylor, come here!" I said. I grabbed her and put her right in front of me in line, with her facing away from me. I had Millie stand in front of her, and I had Harper stand to the side of us. We now kind of had Taylor hidden from sight, and pinned against the side of the stairs, offering the most privacy we could in such an awkward moment.
"Ok sweetie, you can let it go" I whispered to her.
She didn't say a word, but I could tell she was about to go. I grabbed her hand, and pushed myself right up against her to shield as much as I could from view. Luckily for me, this left my crotch pressed up against her bum as it began filling with poo. She sort of got into a little squatting position, sucking her thumb as always, and right away I heard her begin pooping herself. I looked down, and I saw her sprout a tail in her swim diapers. It hung there for a few seconds, before breaking off and dropping to the bottom of the diaper. Another rush of poop followed right after that, seemingly filling the diaper up entirely. Taylor straightened up, seemingly finished for the time being.
"Are you ok? How was that?" I asked her.
"There is so much poop in my diaper, oh my god!" She whispered to me.
And she was right. It almost looked like her swim diaper doubled in size. It puffed her butt out, and sagged down very low as well.
"Taylor it seems so full, how much did you go?"
"Steve, it's everywhere. It's so mushy, it filled up under my vagina entirely, went halfway up the front of my vagina, and halfway up my ass as well."
I was shocked so much poop could come out of her!
"It actually feels... Amazing..." She whispered to me, biting her lip.
"I wish you could masturbate, but it's a little too public for that!"
"I know..." She said sadly.
"I'm not even sure you should go down the ride with all that poop in there honey!" I said to her.
"No, I'm going! It'll hold, just you watch!" She said back proudly. At that point I didn't even care, because we were at the top of the ride, next to go down.
There was no time to make any objections anyway, as we were quickly shoved into our tube and onto the loading platform. I watched Taylor sit in the pool with the massive amount of poo sitting in her swim diapers, ready for disaster. But incredibly, nothing was leaking! She turned her head to look at me, and gave me a wink just before we were pushed down the slide.
Once we got to the bottom I quickly turned my head, looking all around to see if there was any sort of mess we might get kicked out of the park for! But incredibly, I couldn't find anything. I looked over at Taylor, who was rapidly exiting the pool. I looked down at her bottom, and while nothing was leaking, all the water saturation certainly made it sag, and start to change color as well.
"That was awesome! Is everyone alright?" I asked as we got out of the pool.
"Yep!" Milly and Harper said in unison.
"Kinda!" Taylor said with a chuckle, which we all knew too well.
We all exchanged a glance and a laugh, then quickly walked back to our stuff.
"Taylor, your bottom looks like it can't last much longer, what are we gonna do? I can't change you in the park, do you want to change yourself?" I asked her.
"Well, it's already pretty late, and we've been here a while. Do you guys want to call it a day so I can be changed? Or did you want to stay?"
"I don't care either way, I guess we've had enough fun for the day." Millie said.
"Yeah, same here" Harper replied. "Besides, I may have to poo soon too, so I guess we should get going!"
"Alright then, it's decided!" I said to the group. "Everybody pack up your things, let's go ahead and get out of here before Taylor's rear end starts to leak!"
They all laughed as we began to pack up. I still don't know how it lasted as long as it did, but we made it out to the parking lot without any of Taylor's poo spilling out of her diaper. Our cat was quite a ways away still though, and I began to see signs of a mess forming between her legs.
"Taylor, you ok over there? Looks like your diaper is finally losing its grip!"
Taylor didn't respond, so I turned around to look at her. She was walking in a very funny way, repeatedly hunching over and her legs bedding weirdly in and out. I though she was about to poop again, before I saw her face and realized, she was about to orgasm!
"Oh my goddddd..." Taylor said, eyes closed and checks flushed as she walked. She really had to have been horny after that mess, and all that poop rubbing around her vagina really must have done a number on her.
"Guys, I'm cumming, it's happening oh my god this is amazing!" Taylor whispered.
She stopped and buckled over, kind of bucking her hips in the back of the parking lot as the three of us watched. As she came, more poo started to leak out of her swim diapers and down her legs, but she didn't care, it was very clear she was in ecstasy.
"Wow Taylor" Harper said, biting her lip. "That looked amazing..."
"It really was..." Taylor said, standing back up.
"We might have to try that some time, good lord!" Said Millie.
We finally reached my car in the back of the lot and popped the trunk so I could get Taylor changed right away. I picked her up and laid her down, her checks still flushed and thumb in her mouth. It looked like she was riding the high of her orgasm as long as she could.
"Ok sweetie let's get you cleaned up so we can get home, ok?" I said to her.
She didn't respond, and just laid there, smiling. I opened up her diaper, and it was a war zone. Poop was literally everywhere, all up her ass crack, pooled up at the gusset, and all the way up her vagina. I took off the diaper and tossed it, there was no saving that thing. I had to use a dozen wipes just to get her mostly clean, but she will need a shower when she gets home.
With that, we all hopped in the car.
"So, did we have a nice trip everyone?" I asked.
"Yes!!" They all said in unison. "Thank you so much Steve!" Millie said to me with a kiss. I drove away from the water park, and began the long journey home. |
New work on the series is here! I'm happy to be writing again after a break. I hope you enjoy this story. Next member will be Hoshimachi Suisei-chan. Please look forward to it!
Roboco arrived home after a long day of investigating Miko’s case and crashed in her bed. She stared at the ceiling for a while before pulling out a USB drive from her jacket pocket. “This took so long to compile,” the android lamented. She got permission to investigate from home as opposed to spending all day at Miko’s apartment, but she had to move most of the files from the DVD to something she could actually put in her body. It didn’t help that she also had to compress the files so they would fit on the small device. “Oh well, at least I can analyze it in sleep mode,” she said, plugging in the drive before covering herself in her sheets and resting.
Although she didn’t have dreams, or even a conscience, Roboco felt like something was off as she was letting herself recharge, metaphorically and literally. She could feel herself getting warmer, but she knew she wasn’t overheating. Typically, that would require her internal temperature to rise, but this felt like more of a heat encompassing her from the outside. “Hmm, so warm,” she thought to herself before questioning herself, “and wet…?”
The robot girl sprung up in surprise, throwing off her covers to reveal the origin of her uncomfortable warmth. “I… wet the bed?” Roboco said quizzically. Admittedly, her creator did design her so she could imitate a person near-perfectly, being sure to include the ability to eat and drink as well as defecate and urinate. That being said, having an accident could only be seen by her as a malfunction, and an embarrassing one at that. She rushed to throw her damp sleepwear and bedsheets into the washer and changed into some clean clothes before sitting down at her desk. Hooking herself up to her PC, she began to perform a diagnostics test on herself and quickly found the problem plaguing her body: the USB. Realizing it was still connected to her, she yanked the flash drive out of her and threw it on the ground.
“It gave me a worm?!”
Roboco had scanned the game for any obvious malware, but she would’ve never guessed someone would write their own code for such a specific purpose that would only work on her. “I gotta warn the others!” The high-spec robot tried to get out of her seat, before being forced to sit back down by her own programing. “N-no way, this can’t be happening,” Roboco said panicked, reaching for her phone in a last-ditch attempt for aid. Going for the quickest option, she called the person at the top of her “Recents” list.
Tokino Sora woke up begrudgingly as her ringtone started to go off. Normally she was reluctant to answer this early in the morning, but she made an exception when she saw who was calling.
“Hello~Bo~” Sora mimicked her friends greeting with a cheerful demeanor before being sharply cut off.
“Sora, I’m at my apartment! Help me plea-,” Roboco’s voice got cut off at the end of her plea, but the pure idol got the message nonetheless.
“Huh?!” If Sora wasn’t awake already, she definitely was now. Without hesitation, she dialed the police shortly before calling her best friend and heading down to Roboco’s home herself.
The malware was already busy rewriting the defenseless android’s code, filling her logic with ideas that no sensible machine, sentient or otherwise, would do. As a result, Roboco started to feel a similar feeling to when she woke up, spreading quickly across her bottom and her crotch. She was peeing herself without feeling the need to use the restroom, or even having the ability to stop it.
“Wha-?” The brown-haired android tried to do anything, but could only speak to herself in disbelief as her pants darkened in their color and begin to move down her legs. “Damn it. Did the malware overwrite my excretion functionality?” Roboco cursed aloud before having a horrifying realization. She remembered all at once who she was dealing with and what they did to Miko. “Oh, no! Please, anything but that,” the robot pleaded, regretting her creator’s attention to detail. She didn’t have long to think about her specifications, however, as she felt the hijacking code begin to make her do the unthinkable.
“NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!”
The opening on Roboco’s rear end began to expand as a believably human-like waste began to expel into her waiting sweatpants. She cursed under her breath, angry with her decision to not wear any underwear. It didn’t take long for the crap trapped in her pants to start squishing against her body, beginning to push itself both up and down her body. Shame flooded the girl’s thoughts, but something else started to rise in her, and the need only grew by the second. There was no escaping it. Roboco was horny.
“Impossible… I… I turned off my pleasure parameters,” she said, stunned by the reality she was currently trapped in as her hand automatically guided itself to her groin. She was about to masturbate against her will in pants that were beyond ruined by piss and shit. And the worst part? She was going to enjoy it as much as, if not more than Miko did. As she started to rub, she could feel the world around her start to fade away as her battery began to deplete from the overexertion and warming of her body. At least her pleasure parameters made her power drain fast, so she wouldn’t have to bear with for too long. But that’s not what was on her mind at the time. Instead, she couldn’t focus on anything that didn’t involve achieving her first orgasm in a long time. Slowly, Roboco’s mind blanked out until there was nothing left for her to consciously process.
“No way, the police aren’t here yet?!” Sora ran up the stairs at a heightened pace. She was too distracted by a need to help her friend, she couldn’t even hear Yuujin A trying to stop her from behind.
Once she got to the door, she input the passcode to Roboco’s apartment lock, swinging it open as soon as the lock disengaged. Inside, she was met with a familiar, yet appalling sight. Much like how Miko was found, Roboco was sprawled out on her gaming chair, completely powered off, with a hand down her urine and feces covered sweatpants. Unsure of what to do, Sora started to weep in front of her friend in her beyond pitiful state.
“Hey! I said to wait up!” A-chan finally made her way into the apartment, only to be greeted with the same sad sight. “Holy shit…” was all she could manage say at first, but pulled herself together quickly. “So this is how it was with Miko too, huh…” She sighed, placing her hand on Sora’s shoulder. “You stay here for when the police arrive. I’m gonna get her cleaned up and ready to recharge.” Sora nodded as the short-haired girl took Roboco into the bathroom.
A-chan took the android’s clothes off shortly before beginning to wash her down in the shower. After thoroughly cleaning her off, she got the powered-off girl into bed and attached her charging cables. Shortly after, the police arrived at the complex, where Sora chewed them out for their lack of timeliness and explained Roboco’s situation as a panic attack to prevent any further embarrassment. Once she reached a sufficient charge level, they woke Roboco up only to get confirmation on one thing: she had wet the bed again.
Yet again, a week passed. Much like Miko’s case, Roboco was temporarily stuck with incontinence and arousal around said incontinence until a solution was found. The easiest option would’ve been to format the robot and reboot her with a backup state from before the incident, which would also wipe her memory of the malware as well. But Roboco was vehemently against it, saying that she wanted to remember the shame so that she’ll never make a mistake like what she did again. However, that left the only option being to patch out the malware, which could easily take weeks, if not months. This didn’t stop her, however. Although she was hurt mentally, Roboco agreed to keep streaming while using “protection” as a safeguard for her future accidents. The more worrisome part of her ordeal was that again, like Miko, video feed from Roboco’s eyes during the incident was being sent to a random IP address and port, likely for their newfound assaulter’s amusement. But with no leads, for the time being all the members involved could do was wait for these perverts’ next move. |
Frost webbed over the sweaty skin of his hand, dancing down his wrist and up his arm, to freeze the liquid to him. Culminating in shards of ice, falling from around his head onto the blankets, and pillows in their shared room. The little swords melted into the pillow nearly as soon as they had fallen, though more followed them.
“N...No...please…” His voice cracked, from the stress weighing on it, unable to bear the pressure. His fingers worked their way into twisting the sheets, gripping something for dear life, anything, that might keep him safe from the images dancing in his head. The headless monster, XinQiu’s...body.
His leg pulled up, thigh nearly pressing to his belly as he whimpered, head pushing back to where his scalp touched the headboard. Hair like that of a snow drift, pressing against oak stained wood.
“X-Xing....” Though this sentence, this too-quiet cry for help never reached completion. With that, white eyelashes parted, ice blue eyes staring at the ceiling for hardly more than a heartbeat.
His body was up faster than he could comprehend, the frost that covered his body only expanding, his comforter soon frozen in their once comforting waves of fabric.
“XingQiu?” Instead of the words that were supposed to come out, it was a bare squeak, more likely a whimper than anything resembling speech. Chongyun’s breathing was erratic, his eyes darting in the darkness of the room to find the prone figure of his friend...Hadn’t he promised they’d sleep in the same room?
He needed to find him, needed someone near him- No...no, he needed to be sure his friend from a high family wasn’t hurt...It wasn’t for his own comfort. Yet despite this proclamation deep inside of him, he knew it was a falsity. Chongyun wanted to be sure he wasn’t alone.
To be honest Chongyun wasn’t really sure how he got XingQiu to agree to coming out here with him. Maybe he hadn’t? He wasn’t sure of any of the thoughts rattling around his head, except for one...Find him….be near him...be by someone who made him feel...safe.
Chongyun’s feet touched the floor, eyes widening at the spider webbing of frost that burst forth from his bare feet. It spread faster than he was used to it doing, even crawling up the door before he even stood up. Shaking, his hand was brought to his mouth, fingers digging into the flesh of his cheek, nails nearly cutting his own flesh.
Why was he such a danger to himself and others...He needed something cold, something to cool down the spirit he had, before he wound up hurting someone. Stepping lightly on the wood, frost only continued to layer itself on the floor, quickly melting, only to be brought right back.
Getting to the door felt like a mistake, he was making a mistake, what if he’d freeze a guest? What if he freezed XingQiu?! Yet he couldn’t make himself stop, his body only craved comfort, and he wanted it from one source.
His palms pressed to the paper of the door in the dim light, not even the windows were open, only a small sliver cracked in the window’s coverings allowed him to see the room even slightly.
Right away the paper dusted itself in his frosty breath, making his shoulder tense, his fingers shaking too much for him to bear reaching for the door’s handle.
With a push he was outside of the room, in the hallway, candlelight from the end of the hall falling over his body, his eyes flicking to it, as if somehow it was a source of danger.
“XingQiu?” Again, his voice wouldn’t work, it was like the nightmare had stolen his ability to speak, like it had stolen his voice. He wanted to call out for him so badly, but instead, he’d have to find him, himself.
Hair fell in his face, not in it’s usual array, more messy, like his body was displaying his discomfort…
Then he noticed his breath, in the darkness he hadn’t seen it but now? In front of his face, between his near-frozen fingers, in the warm summer-like weather of Liyue...His breath was fogging.
That hand on his face only grew tighter, his vision blurring as he realized just in what state he was in. Near full on fight-or-flight, yet here he was shuffling down the hallway like a little kid to their daddy. How stupid was he? XingQiu couldn’t see him like this!
The exorcist forced his hands from his face, only to wince in shame at the mix of fogged breath, shaking hands...and finally, the cherry on top of the cake for the poor boy. A tear, then another, then another fell down his face, his shoulders finally releasing from the tension, to shake as he stood there. Blue eyes locked onto the room he hoped XingQiu was in, without the courage to go any further.
It felt like near hours he was standing there, when in reality hardly any moments passed. The sound of crip bell-like laughter from that room, that common room patrons were allowed to lounge while they rested.
XingQiu’s laugh made his shaking ease for just a moment, his eyes went wider and he took a step forward without even sending the command to his body.
“Xin-” His hand slapped over his mouth, what was he doing!? What was he doing!? His friend...he couldn’t see him like this! What if that laugh was turned on...on Chongyun? Over a stupid dream that even a kid wouldn’t be having in this situation.
Yet, his body took another step, and another, and he couldn’t help himself. His gait was slow, hesitant, dripping with the fear he couldn’t voice even if he tried.
The closer he got to the doorway the harder it was for the reasonable side of his brain to listen to him. Instead he saw the shape of his friend, legs tucked underneath him, flipping the pages to the book they had bought for him on the way here.
The fact he didn’t want to wake Chongyun, he was too excited not to read him, brought a small watery smile to the exorcist’s face. A tiny, beading hope of calm pierced his chest. XingQiu was safe, he always had been that way.
What Chongyun didn’t expect was those honey-amber eyes flicking from ink on a page right to Chongyun, unseen by his author friend, the door he had peaked open, his palm resting on...Spiderwebbed with frost, small clinks of little ice pieces hitting the hardwood floors.
“Chongyun?” That voice of his was clear, yet soft, and it wasn’t answered. Chongyun took a step back, not wanting to enter the room’s candle light. He didn’t want Xingqiu to see him like this.
“Chongyun...I know that it is you, what happened?” That comforting voice went from soft pleasant surprise, to worry...The drop in Chongyun’s stomach from worrying him, showing this sign of weakness, made him want to run off into the night, never to be seen again.
“N-Na...I...” A mistake, his voice wasn’t ready to say anything, much less cover up his distress with a jovial response. His companion stood, a hand on the table in front of him, brows knit, looking right at his shape in the doorway. Xingqiu couldn’t help but be reminded of...a scared child, a toddler...too afraid to wake their father up.
“Have you been….crying, Chongyun?” Just that simple question made him feel as if a spotlight from a Liyue puppet theatre was on him, shining in his eyes...giving him no escape.
What little comfort he had managed to glean from just being sure his friend was still there, melted faster than his frost. His clenched fist pressed to his chest, his hand clapped back over his face. Without instruction his feet lead him back, frost spider webbing so far as to even climb into the room XingQiu had been sitting in, glinting, then melting in the candlelight.
He couldn’t do this! He couldn’t handle it, the worry in his friend’s face, the spotlight that wasn’t truly there...Chongyun wished he had just had the balls to roll over and go back to sleep, not bother someone who had been enjoying the night…
“Chongyun...is that a yes? What happened?” Dark blue hair was tucked behind a pale ear as he came closer, the frost that had melted, the droplets on the floor seemed to flow towards him, getting rid of it, like it had never happened.
Chongyun couldn’t take it, another step back, that was answered with fingers reaching out to touch his wrist, so close to his face. Frost covered the other boy’s skin, in only a matter of seconds, Chongyun’s eyes widening as he tried to jerk away. He didn’t want to hurt him!
But, that hand only followed, wrapping around Chongyun’s hand, gently taking it from his face, the frost on XingQiu’s arm cracked, and fell to the floor, melting again.
“No...no you don’t need to run away...you can’t talk right now, that’s okay. We’ll just take a little sit down, won’t you join me?” Xingqiu didn’t even glance at the frost, though Chongyun sure did. Worried it would give him frostbite, worry clenching his stomach, a knot in his chest that felt ungodly warm compared to the rest of him.
The exorcist watched as his friend turned, to gently bring him into the room, and yet, Chongyun didn’t move, didn’t come into the light, instead XingQiu’s arm jerked as their contact broke, Chongyun bringing his hand back to his chest.
He felt so ungodly warm in his chest, like he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, everything was too much for him right now. The details overwhelmed him, the sound of the wind outside, the light from the candle, he wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. But he couldn’t do that in front of Xingqiu, and couldn't risk freezing the Inn.
“I-I...I...I’m s...sorry.” His voice, so broken, hoarse, barely audible, nearly couldn’t be recognized by the owner it came from. Blue eyes met amber ones, and with one movement XingQiu’s hand came back onto his face, brushing frost away from underneath Chongyun’s eyes, those frozen tears clinking to the floor.
“What….on earth are you apologizing for, silly?” The slight amusement in his voice, his gentle hands, brushing up into his blue hair to scritch down the back of his head.
The comfort it sent through him was so needed, it nearly brought those tears right back, his eyes staying right on his friends, until he realized...Realized XingQiu was seeing him so...vulnerable.
“Don’t….please XingQiu you can’t s-see me...can’t see me like this.” In response to that, Xingqiu’s hand moved down his shoulder, to gently take his hand, squeezing it, as he also took his other.
“Leaving you alone Chongyun? I’m surprised you even suggested that, come, sit with me.” XingQiu’s hands gently edged him forward, out of the doorway he was hiding in, into the candlelight.
When the icey boy was illuminated, he could tell immediately that XingQiu hadn’t been able to get a good look at him until right now, at that very moment.
“Your eyes are red...you’re...god Chongyun you’re shaking!” XingQiu didn’t want to risk the poor exorcist’s chances, standing on those shaking knees of his. Pulling him to the pile of pillows that XingQiu had been using as a chair.
“N-No...not...m’not.” Squeezing his eyes shut for just a second, he felt dizzy, eyes dotting, and he couldn’t tell if he was about to faint, or if he simply needed to breathe more than a rapid shallow breath.
When his body couldn’t hold out any longer, he took a deep breath, his exhale fogging the glass XingQiu had been using, as he sat down, hands still in XingQiu’s.
“Yes...you are, like a leaf or...some kind of kicked puppy. What happened to you? What aren’t you telling me?” It was exactly the kind of question Chongyun had been fearing, closing his eyes and looking away, he simply shook his head, unable to stand the way his own voice betrayed how anxious he was, nervous, all from a stupid dream.
“Chongyun...” The motivation behind using his name was clear, and Chongyun answered, turning back towards his friend, hating the way his eyes were so concerned...Chongyun was the one who ruined his night.
“Tell me what-” Wind picked up, making the old Inn creak, both boys thinking nothing of it, until that is, when the window covering outside slammed into the building’s outside wall, with a sound Chongyun would swear, was the loudest thing he ever heard in his life, later on at least.
The little noise that left Chongyun was quickly cut, a reaction that XingQiu never expected from the boy that controlled his emotions, to near soldier-like levels.
“Damn! It’s alright...it’s...alright...” XingQiu’s eyes had been dragged up to look at the wall as the sound spooked them both, but looked down at Chongyun, seeing his hand on his sleeve, squeezing it like it was a lifeline.
“Did it scare you that badly, Chongyun?” XingQiu couldn’t help himself, the way Chongyun was acting, the way he clung to him, the jumpiness, his arms moved around the other boy.
XingQiu’s neck was a haven for Chongyun, it was warm, smelled of a warm summer's rain, and comforted him beyond almost anything.
Almost...anything.
Chongyun didn’t speak as he was pressed close, eyes wide over XingQiu’s shoulder, burning holes into the back wall with his stare, as he shoved his knees together, shaking slightly, when the shakes were so close to having stopped just moments ago.
That warm knot in his chest he had felt ever since the hallway was screaming it’s presence now, though it was lower, much lower than anything he had wanted. That spook, that scare had tensed every single muscle in his body, forcing that pressure down, too hard, too suddenly
Chongyun’s eyes began to dampen, his fingers gently squeezing the cloth on XingQiu’s back, as he felt what he already knew to be true.
A small spot of dampness was spreading between his thighs, from his left leg. It was warm, too warm to be anything else, he could see it clearly in his mind's eye, praying to god it wasn’t soaking through more fabric.
His underclothes were white, like all his clothes were, yet he could only imagine the yellow spreading over the cloth that cupped him, that made sure there was no chaffing on his legs from hours of walking. Leaking in small rivulets down his leg, yellow against the stark witness of it.
He wanted to check, just to make sure XingQiu wouldn’t see his shame, but he didn’t dare too, not when he could out himself.
“It’s alright, in a moment, I’ll go latch the window for you, and we can figure out a way to put you back in bed, won’t we now?” XingQiu’s voice made him tense, putting an additional questioning tilt to the end of his sentence that hadn’t meant to be there.
“Chongyun? Do you not want me to let go?” The poor exorcist nearly let out a nervous hiccup of laughter, that would have all too quickly turned into a sob of dejection.
“You...c-can’t, can’t...” His words refused to do their job, ignoring his commands, and he could feel XingQiu shift against him, worry in every movement of his companions.
“Can’t?” A hand, so much warmer than Chongyun’s own flesh, moved up his arm, to coast down his spine, nails scritching his flesh, in a way that made Chongyun nearly...forget about what he was so tense for, until he shifted his own weight in response.
Feeling that near frozen liquid against his own body, that shame, what he had done. There was no excuse for it, he was a horrible exorcist, peeing himself even a little at the thought of a malevolent spirit. Pressing his knees, thighs, closer together he shook his head, trying to force his words into the sentence he needed.
“Can’t see me...m-me, like, this...p-pitiful.” To his words, the hand stopped at the small of his back, scritching at the base of his spine and chuckling lightly.
“It’s not pitiful...to have a nightmare. Nothing else would scare you this much...What was it about?” Chongyun, who had squeezed his eyes shut in shame against his companion’s neck, lurched back, eyes wide, making eye contact with XingQiu for only a split second.
“N-No! I...I didn’t!” His voice cracked so badly in fear, that he wanted to never speak again, shuffling back on the floor, keeping his legs clamped, watching XingQiu’s eyes, terrified they’d flick downwards. Seeing some sort of proof that he was barely his age, barely an exorcist.
“The headless corpse, walking around drenching blood, and stealing the heads of the people they kill. It’s a story, but...” The book keeper trailed off, tilting his head as Chongyun tensed, lip wobbling, knees shaking together. The Exorcist, was fighting for his life to keep his emotions under control, but his yang spirit ignored those attempts...His body was giving out on him, he could feel the smallest spurt of shame, slowly leak down his briefs, to his backside, and he knew if it touched his clothes even once...it was game over, XingQiu would notice his shame.
“It..didn’t...d-didn’t...” Chongyun’s sentence being finished was a pipe dream while he was in this state, barely having enough mental strength to hold back his bladder from giving out on him.
Those amber eyes weren’t paying attention to his lips, white eyelashes instead were XingQiu’s focus. Frosted with tears, a face marked with tear streaks. His cheeks were flushed, though hardly noticeable, his body wouldn’t allow him more than that.
Eyes flicking down, he noticed the way Chongyun tensed, immediately trying to pull back more, but XingQiu followed, scooting forward on the floor as Chongyun tried to retreat.
Chongyun’s knees were shaking, but together, forced that way, as if he was terrified of anything showing. His loincloth clamped tightly between his legs, hands shaking if they weren’t balled into fists, shoved into the floor.
“Chongyun...” The poor boy nearly burst into body-wracking sobs, tears sliding down his face, as he waited for it, waiting for what he feared. ‘You’re not strong enough to be an exorcist’, ‘You peed on yourself!? What are you doing, being your age and doing that?!’ He couldn’t help but interrupt.
“Pleasedon’t” Chongyun closed his eyes his voice barely audible, not able to face what he know would be a face of disappointment, he couldn’t take it, not today, not ever...not from XingQiu.
“If this...exorcism...if the story is too scary for you, please, don’t hide it from me. It gave you nightmares tonight, didn’t it?” Chongyun only heard the shifting of movement, though he refused to look at his companion.
Then...the feeling of warm flesh again, instead of being shoved away, he was being...held...again? His eyes flew open, seeing the navy strands of hair in his face, feeling the arm around his hips, terrified of XingQiu pressing closer, parting his legs with his knee.
“I-I...n-no...” He couldn’t bring himself to admit it, even if it might get him off the hook and a chance to clean himself up, if his bladder was done soaking his briefs.
“Shhh, no need to lie, I know you Chongyun...I know you.” XingQiu squeezed him tighter, the two lapsing into a silence, XingQiu’s hand, rubbing those soft circles up and down his back, holding him, for as long as he needed it.
Minutes passed, the distant sounds of rain slowly creeping closer, as finally, Chongyun nodded, opting not to speak as he let his companion take care of him.
“What a worried little snowdrift, I’ve got you...” Slowly, the book keeper began to peel away, wanting to help Chongyun back into bed, with him in the room of course.
Then the bad luck for the ice powered boy only got even worse. The window blew out the candle on the table that had already burned far too low with Chongyun’s interruption. Then the room lit up, throwing odd shadows across his friend’s face, the room, and his eyes grew in horror.
The thunderclap was the worst part, shaking the inn nearly, or maybe it was his heightened fear response. It made him want to shove his hands over his ears, pping a yelp from him. XingQiu’s automatic response pushed him closer, but Chongyun was faster, knowing what his body had just done to him.
Two hands met XingQiu’s chest, and without thinking it through, Chongyun shoved him away, that knot of heat was pushing down on his lower half, in a way that nearly hurt...until it didn’t
“Sorry! I-I….it...I’msorry...”Chongyun tried to stumble to his feet before he could disgrace himself, a hand on the wall behind him frosting over the entire west side of the room. Dropping the temperature within the area by at least fifteen degrees. Though it wasn’t simply frost, spikes of ice that looked like miniature swords poked out from the wall, clattering to the floor, and beginning to melt. But even just a movement as simple as getting up, doomed him, though even sitting his bladder was too hyperactive that night, to hold it.
“L-Look!! Lookaway! Please...lookaway!” The desperation in his voice was evident, slamming his own hand into his chest, that he wasn’t using to support himself. Chongyun turned to leave, but couldn’t move, his body was all locked up, flakes of frozen ice and snow falling from his arms, his face. This was the real nightmare, wasn’t it? XingQiu seeing him being such a fucking wuss?
Then that warm knot in his lower stomach, pounding on his bladder, making his knees shake, got it’s way, his body too shaky, too unstable to fight back for too long.
He doubled over with a whimper, and a muffled cry, his body desperately trying to find a way to make him feel better. His anxious spirit having too much of a hold on him for any sort of home remedy to work under all this stress. The hand on his chest, shoved itself between his legs, not caring if it was obvious anymore so long as it didn’t actually happen more than it already had.
“Chongyun?! Chongyun!? What the hell is going on?!” Doubling over didn’t help, and it didn’t matter that he was wearing his loincloth, his own stupid hand moved it out of the way! XingQiu had relit the candle’s twin, and could see....everything. The shame was engulfing, ice spreading from his feet, slowly, much thicker than any frost from his hands.
“Don’t look! D-Don- Nghh!” His knees pressed together, his ass resting on the wall behind him as he trembled, feet apart, he looked like a toddler who couldn’t make it to the damn bathroom. Between his fingertips, beads of liquid were forming, dripping to the icey floor in little plinks, as the warm knot in his abdomen slowly began to get somehow worse. Screaming for him to fully let go as he relieved even just a hair of the pressure.
“N-Nopleasepleasestop...please.” His soft toned beg, cracking with his sobs wasn’t enough to get his body to listen to him, it needed relief from the constant bursts of fear, and it would get it, at the cost of his emotions, and pride.
The drips between his fingers only got worse, turning into the shyest streams that broke the silence between them with the hiss that they made. He couldn’t force himself to stop, his thighs painfully cutting into the edges of his hand, but it wasn’t enough to stop the pee from gushing from his palm. Slowly starting to soak his inner thighs, in a shameful waterfall, that couldn’t be ignored.
Instead of the white the cloth had been just a moment before, yellow soaked down his only set of clothes he had brung on the one day trip. He didn’t want to have to walk around in this! He wished he’d die, right then and there, freeze and never have to face what would happen next, his plea only attesting to that.
“X-XingQiu please...don’tlookatme.” He couldn’t even open his eyes to check, if his friend was even still in the room. Desperate sobs broke free from him, the only lifeline keeping him from falling in his own puddle was the wall behind him, now slab of ice behind him, cuffing his arm in his own creation to give the poor boy stability.
What little help his hand was between his thighs, was soon undercut. Between his fingers, the stream steadily grew, until it’s hiss was undeniable, even over the sound of the rain outside. His bladder tingled with pain in his lower belly, until finally, the streams stopped, drips of his shame falling from his fingers, and in the silence, he didn’t hear anything. He didn’t want to move, taking a step sounded like a task for a god.
“I’msorry, I’m so sorry, pleasedon’thateme.” Moments passed and he still heard nothing, and he found himself quietly sobbing under his breath, tears leaking down his cheeks to find the puddle between his legs. He had just lost his best friend, to his own stupid bodys failings.
“Chongyun oh my god...Oh god...” It was his voice, but what he said only made the sobs worse, he was blind to the world, refusing to open his eyes, and soaked, an embarrassment to his family.
“Please, I’msorry, I couldn’t...I tried.” Chongyun’s voice was so broken, so butchered by his own cries that he could hardly speak, trying somehow to make the words make up for what he had just done to himself.
Hearing the steps in front of him, he backed up into the wall, the ice breaking to allow him to, a shadow falling over him, all Chongyun could do was shake his head, too upset for words, or thinking. His eyes remained shut, only a soft whimper leaving in in place of words.
“I’m so sorry...Nono, it was me, I shouldn’t have upset you so, or left someone like you all alone, I didn’t take proper care of my partner, when I know he needs me.” Chongyun only sobbed in response, and XingQiu felt quilt scratching at the inside of his ribs, tearing him apart as he reached out, not caring about the puddle, instead, only cradling the face of his friend.
“You must have been so scared from that dream...is that why you came to me?”Chongyun felt horrified, if only he had stayed in his room, if he had just rolled over and gone to sleep, instead of...being this inconvenience that he was!
“N-No...wasn’t...” In response, he could almost...feel XingQiu’s smile, and that threw him, so much so that he cracked open his eyes, a defiant sniffle he couldn’t muffle being the only sound between them, as he realized...XingQiu was rubbing his cheeks with his thumb, smiling at him, like he was his whole world.
“Shhh, you were...it’s okay, it’s okay love that’s why I’m here now...Spooky things should be left for someone else for right now.” XingQiu’s hands were warm, so much warmer than his skin, that it felt like an ice cube at best. Those hands always seemed to know what they wanted, and soon, Chongyun’s chest was bumped into his friend’s.
“N-No! My...clothes...they’re wet...you’ll...you...you’ll get wet.” A soft chuckle, in that gentle tone was all he got in response, the hand that pulled him close traveling to the back of his head, pressing his teary face into the warm cradle of his friend’s neck.
“I...I’m...” Chongyun wanted to cry again, to say he’s sorry until it was wiped from XingQiu’s memory, but he couldn’t, so instead, his face found the warm comforting smell of summer rain in his friend’s neck, shuddering as he fought off sobs. Sobs that seemed less and less all consuming the more XingQiu rubbed his back, held him close, stroked his hair.
“Let’s get you cleaned up...and I’ll read to you, something much calmer...Instead of a trip to the mountains, why don’t I treat you to something sweet at the teashop?” Chongyun genty nodded into his friend’s flesh, as XingQiu held him as long as he needed. |
Paige squirmed into her heel. It was distracting her from what she was painting, but she was a good multitasker. Plus, she thought it felt kind of good to hold in a full bladder sometimes. When it didn't, she at least didn't mind the feeling.
To tell the truth, Paige had an odd fascination with retaining urine. She did it quite frequently, so much so that some of her closer friends knew about her habit and occasionally did it too when they were around her.
She looked up at Eleanor from across the bed, who was fidgeting in a similar manner. Leaned forward with her chin resting on her hands with her knees under her belly, her hips slightly gyrating.
"Are you holding in your pee?" she asked her. Eleanor met her eyes and nodded.
Paige, taking another sip from her drink, got up from the bed and went downstairs to get two cokes. Eleanor sat up and smirked when she was handed one. "No pee breaks tonight?" she asked, cracking it open and taking a sip.
"Only if you want to," Paige replied, getting back on the bed. "Can I see what you're painting?" She turned it around. A snail on a flower. "Nice."
The cokes were drained in like twenty minutes, and about a half an hour later Paige saw Eleanor bite her lip and lean forward out of the corner of her eye, a look of worry spread across her face.
Paige estimated they were at a similar (if not the same) level of desperation. She felt like, if she wanted to, she could pee her pants right there. She was getting butterflies. She zipped downstairs and got two more cokes. Eleanor looked hesitant this time.
"You don't have to!" she assured her friend.
"No, I want to," Eleanor replied, jiggling her leg and drinking from the can. "I just really gotta go," she looked sheepishly at her through her round-rimmed glasses.
"I do too," Paige held herself for a second before going back to her painting. Her bladder was getting really full by this point. She sat leaning against the wall, her painting resting on her clenched knees. She was constantly slightly shifting her position and moving her hips around. By the time she was almost finished with what she was painting, Paige was finding it impossible to concentrate. Her brush strokes were becoming shaky. She checked on Eleanor peripherally, who was finding it difficult to keep from touching or squeezing her crotch and thighs.
"You okay?" She asked.
"Yeah," Eleanor replied, "but I don't think I can paint right now. I might go to the bathroom."
Paige put her own painting to the side, burying both hands in her lap. "I have to go really bad too."
A lot of time passed. They simply hung out during this time and their desperate need to piss wasn't mentioned for a while. Then...
"Paige I'm dying," Eleanor giggled nervously, squirming frantically.
"Are you gonna go?"
Eleanor stood up, stepping around and squeezing herself. She kept pulling on the butt of her leggings like she was pulling out a wedgie. "I don't know," she said, writhing in place. "Ohh, my bladder..."
Paige, who had been scooting back and forth into her heel, stopped and watched wide-eyed as Eleanor stuck her hands down the front of her pants. When piss started squirting out of her, Paige frantically resumed her squirming to keep herself contained. It felt like the rest of the contents of her screaming, overfilled bladder could come out at any moment.
"Okay, I think I have to go to the toilet," Eleanor said, starting to walk away.
"Do you have a pee baby?" Paige interrupted.
Eleanor pulled her shirt up and her leggings down in the front. Despite the constant wiggling, she could make out a huge bulge of piss sticking out of her friend's belly. "I don't think I can hold it much longer," she whined, doubling over with her hands in her crotch.
Paige spurted again, despite her squirming. She winced, and her fidgeting intensified. "Does standing up really help it?" she asked, getting up and pacing around, holding herself with both hands.
"Not really," Eleanor replied, bending her knee on the bed to sit on her heel.
The intensity of her need to urinate kept forcing Paige to bend her knees and sometimes squat down to the ground, pushing her heel into herself and squirming into it. Upon trying to stay standing and keep her composure, she felt another hot spurt of piss saturate even more of her underwear. She fell onto the bed, holding her crotch with all her strength, her legs twisting tightly together.
"Ahh-- I'm leaking, I'm leaking..." Eleanor gripped herself tightly, her body trembling.
"I've been leaking, man," Paige laughed.
"Ohhh-- Okay I have to pee right now," Eleanor exclaimed and ran into the bathroom without even shutting the door behind her. The immediate sound of hissing and pattering liquid was too much for Paige to bear. She held it in for almost thirty torturous seconds, writhing around holding herself in agony as Eleanor's sigh of relief and lengthy stream emanated from the bathroom. She even squeezed through the first few spurts, but it was ultimately futile. As soon as she stopped fighting it, she flooded her pants with hot piss, drenching not only herself but her bedsheets as well. It hissed loudly with Eleanor's stream, which was still going on. Paige, stifling a moan from the bliss and relief she was feeling, assessed the spreading damage as it happened. A huge puddle on the top of the bed, streaking down the side and dripping into a somehow bigger puddle on the floor. Her pants had been soiled to the most literal description of the word. |
Paige's bladder was swollen and filled with pee as she laid in her bed one night, staring at the cieling. She really had to go, and she knew she probably should, but it felt good to hold it all in. The concern that she wouldn't make it until morning crossed her mind, but she drifted off to sleep before she acted on it.
Then she was walking down the street of a city. It looks like Seattle, she thought, pausing to look around. She bobbed up and down with her hands between her legs as she did so, really feeling the need to urinate now. Suddenly becoming aware of the people around her, she sheepishly stood upright and put her hands at her sides, starting to walk again.
I should find a bathroom, she thought to herself. She needed to pee really badly. It was getting hard to ignore. But it still felt good in that weird way a couple of her friends had said they felt, too. In fact, this time, it felt reallygood. There was a mix of urinary urgency and titillating warmth spreading around her belly and her crotch, which she hadn't realized she'd been holding onto as she walked. She didn't want this feeling to end, but she wanted quick access of a restroom in case that changed.
She went into a building, which looked like a tavern from a fantasy movie on the inside. She noticed, but didn't think much of the drastic change in scenery.
"How many?" asked a waiter. Luckily, he had no face, so she didn't feel self conscious about squirming.
"Just one," she replied. She followed him as she showed her to a table, bouncing on her heels as he placed the menu and silverware down.
"Thanks. Where's your bathroom?" she asked.
Somehow, the waiter smiled. "We don't do that here," he said. Paige was left wondering if she did something rude. She bounced in the seat, looking at the menu. "These are all drinks!" she said to herself, and it was true. They were also all named after volumes of liquid.
The faceless waiter came back. "Do you know what you want?"
"Is this how much of the drink I'll get?" she asked.
"No, they all come in one size. That's how much of the drink will go through you."
"Go through me?"
"The amount you'll pee out."
She looked puzzled. "Oh. I'll have this one then, I guess. The ounce."
"Are you sure? You strike me as being a bit more experienced than that."
She looked at the menu again. "How about this one? The pint? How much is that?"
"Excellent choice," the waiter said, taking her menu and immediately placing down a green drink. "Enjoy."
Paige leaned back, sipping her drink and fanning her legs, holding herself with her free hand under the table. A twinge of impending leakage caused her to jolt forward, sticking her butt out and wiggling. Biting her nails and looking around for the bathroom, she noticed none of the other staff or the few patrons had faces either. Could they see? Of course not, how could they?
She stuck her hand in her pants and squeezed. Expecting to be granted a slight bit of relief, she was instead washed with a wave of pleasure that spread through her crotch into her tight, full bladder. She was bursting, but it's never felt this good before.
She finished her drink and held herself with both hands, squirming and writhing desperately. Paige had to pee so bad it hurt. Scooting back and forth, she realized she was going to pee herself if she didn't go soon.
She went up to the bar, twisting her legs up like a pretzel. "Where's your restroom?" she asked.
"We don't do that here."
A wave hit and she started stepping around. "What does that mean? You have to have a restroom! Isn't it, like, illegal if you don't?"
"It's just not what this place is for."
She jumped up onto a bar stool, crossing her legs and wiggling her butt. It was getting worse by the second. "I just have to go so bad."
"I'm sure there's somewhere that has what you're looking for. Just not here, sweetie. Could I get you a two-cup?"
She doubled over and pushed her hands into her crotch. "Oohh-- no thanks, I gotta go..."
She leapt off the seat and ran outside, holding herself with both hands. Her screaming bladder pulsed uncomfortably with every step, threatening to leak at any moment. She ran into a different place and immediately asked for a bathroom.
"It's for customers only. Would you like a table?" This waiter had nothing but a giant pair of eyes on top of his shoulders.
"Yes! Please, just let me go to the bathroom," she pleaded, unable to hide her extreme desperation.
"You'll have to order something first. A lot of people act like they're going to give us some business just to use our bathroom."
She sat down in the booth, wriggling desperately. "Just give me anything!"
The waiter rolled his eyes.
"I'm sorry!" She scanned the menu, dancing madly. Her need to piss was so intense that she'd forgotten about the sensation in her nether regions, and it was easing its way back into her focus. She bit her lip, scooting back and forth and squeezing herself. If she wasn't on the verge of wetting herself in public, she might have enjoy the feeling a bit more.
"Could I just get this one?" she asked, pointing to a drink.
"Sure thing."
"And could I use that bathroom?"
"Sure, and leave immediately after? At least pay first. That's our rule. You gotta pay first."
He left Paige alone, presumably to get her drink she really didn't want. She put her hand under her crotch and sat on it, wriggling madly into it while her other hand gripped the fabric of her pants so hard her knuckles were white. Her cheeks were flushed pink and she couldn't keep from pushing her fingers into herself. It felt good, but it also felt like she was about to explode. The two sensations were the same. A spurt of piss squeezed its way out of her tired, throbbing urethra, making her double over and rest her head on the table. She had to go so bad she felt like crying.
The waiter returned with the drink, his huge eyes peering down at the bursting girl.
"How much is it?" she asked, pulling out her wallet as she squirmed desperately.
"Sixty eight cents."
Her hands were shaking as she started pulling out coins and dropping them on the table. It seemed like she only had pennies.
"Do you have enough?" the waiter asked.
"I..." Paige had so much piss inside of her that she couldn't think. It hurt really bad. "I j-just really need to go to the b-bathroom."
"It's only for customers," he repeated.
She choked out a whimper as another bit of pee squirted out of her again. "I can't- I can't hold it, please!"
As she felt her urethral muscles finally give up and the contents of her bladder spill into her pants, he simply looked at her. Hissing as the crotch of her pants went dark, spreading down her legs. Pattering as it dripped onto the floor. She couldn't believe how good it felt. A moan escaped her lips as her bladder emptied a torrent of piss that saturated her clothes. She closed her eyes, her entire focus on her blissful relief.
She didn't want to look back at the waiter. Still, she forced herself to open her eyes...
Paige was in her bed, still leaking urine into her soaked sheets. "Oh, shit..." she muttered, sitting up, unable (and unwilling) to stem the stream. "That's so much pee..." She pulled her waistband away from her belly, watching the last dribble of pee come out of her pussy. It wasn't just urine that had saturated her underwear. |
I am going to start titling these.
Desperate Bath
Paige was watching TV upside down. Laying on her back with her head dangling off the side of the bed, she was bouncing her knees together in response to the little liquid-filled bladder that was sticking out of her belly. It was urgently pleading with her to be emptied, sending alarm signals to her in the form of uncomfortable pressure. Counteractively, it was also a warm, titillating sensation flowing through her private parts.
She'd had to go for some time now. Large sections of the movie she was watching were being missed from the distraction in her nether regions. She swung her legs off the bed and ran to the bathroom with her hands between her legs. She turned the hot water on and started filling up the bathtub, twisting her legs up and doubling over, squeezing herself tightly. She pulled her shirt off as she walked awkwardly to the hamper, tossing it in as she stuck her butt out, the need to urinate pounding in her abdomen. She jumped around as she undid her pants, sloshing the urine around. Paige pulled them off and grabbed her pussy tightly. Now that she was naked from the waist down, it felt like it was going to come out at any moment. She stepped around madly as she undid her bra and threw it with her other clothes. She squirted soap into the running water, tossed in a bathbomb, and stepped in. It almost scalded her feet. Running only cold water, she stood here squirming and squeezing and stepping in place until it was barely comfortable enough to sit down. She sat on her knees, the hot water lapping at her ass and pussy. She rubbed her pussy lips to keep from leaking as she sat down all the way. The water enveloped the bulge of her bladder, somehow amplifying the almost unbearable feeling of pressure.
Paige was dying to piss. Her swollen bladder was begging her to relieve herself. She was gripping herself tightly, sitting on her fingers and scooting her vagina into them. In the hot water, it felt like the pee was creeping to the end of her urethra, ready to squirt out the second she relaxed. But it made her feel so good! She didn't divulge to her friends exactly how intensely the pleasure of a bursting bladder affected her. When she had to go this bad, every touch to that area was an explosion of feeling.
She felt herself starting to piss. She immediately stood up, squeezing herself with wild legwork, fighting the fiery sting in her peehole. "Oh my god!" she said out loud, the extreme sensation of desperation overwhelming her.
She turned the water off and sat with one leg on either side of the tub wall. She was essentially humping it, frantically doing anything to keep the pee inside. Erratic spurts started forcing their way out of her every few seconds. Just when she was beginning to think she couldn't take it anymore, a strong jet of pee came squirting out as quickly as the spurts were. She leapt up again, gripping herself tightly, urine leaking from in between her fingers from where she wasn't quite able to stop in time. She swung her leg over and dried her wet foot on the rug by the tub, thighs pressed tightly together with her hands between her legs. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and sat on the tub as barely a tablespoon of urine seeped out of her, her urethra screaming to be relaxed. The muscle was almost burning from overwork.
She could feel a warm puddle of pee under her butt from where she leaked on the wall of the tub. Since she was no longer dripping bathwater by this point, she ran to the toilet, ripped off a strip of toilet paper, and wiped the side of the tub clean while digging her heel into her bare pussy. Another hard spurt of urine hissed out and dripped down her foot. She groaned as she stood up to kick the rug over the spot she had made on the porcelain floor. She ran back to the toilet and dropped the paper in, desperately twisting her legs up like a pretzel. Her eyes were watering. Why were her eyes watering?
Her bursting, overfilled bladder felt like it was going to burst open from the extreme amount of liquid she was holding inside of it. Her lower belly was so swollen with urine that she was aware of it just by the feeling of the bulge under her wrists as she held herself. This was the most desperate she'd ever felt- and she'd pissed herself before! How was she holding this much completely naked? It was too much while standing next to the toilet as it flushed, and another short stream of piss escaped her clenched peehole and cascaded down her legs. Paige wanted to back in the bath, but she thought she wouldn't be able to hold in her bladder if her lower extremities were under warm water again. Coming to the conclusion that it might be easier to hold it if she ran around, she bolted desperately to the bathroom door and poked her head out.
"Is anyone home?" she called loudly, gyrating her ass as she rubbed her vagina, squeezing and unsqueezing as she stepped side to side. Luckily, no one was there to hear her voice shaking with desperation. Still completely nude, she ran down the hall and through the living room, into her room and into the kitchen. Her bladder was screaming. It was the only thing that she could think about. When piss started coming out despite her movement, she made a beeline for the bathroom. It only got stronger as she sprinted desperately down the hall, fully gushing out of her by the time she jumped into the tub and fell on her ass in the water.
"Ahh-!!" she moaned loudly as she finally unclenched her urethra, intense euphoria spreading through her whole body. She positioned herself so that her pussy was out of the water, pissing loudly and powerfully into the bath. "Jesus christ!" she groaned in pleasure. What seemed like gallons of urine gushed out of her bladder as her enormous bulge deflated like a balloon. The stream died out over the course of two minutes, before getting a second wind and going strong for another minute. She sat down, breathing deep from exertion. She played with her tingling pussy as she decided whether or not to actually bathe in that water or not. |
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