Datasets:
YnezT
/
BookMIA-in-sentences

Dataset card Data Studio Files Community
2
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int64
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99
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50 values
sentence_id
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99
spare.txt
576
She wanted to be an actress.
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She was so soft-spoken and<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">shy, acting was the last profession I’d have imagined for her, and I said so.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">But she confessed that it made her feel alive.
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Free.
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She made it sound like<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">flying.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Weeks later, at the end of another date, I gave her a lift home.
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/’m just off<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">the King’s Road.
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We pulled up to a large house on a well-kept street.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">You live here?
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This is your house?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">No.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">She explained that she was staying for a few days with an aunt.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I walked her up the steps.
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She didn’t invite me in.
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584
I didn’t expect her to,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">didn’t want her to.
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585
Take it slow, I thought.
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586
I leaned in to give her a kiss, but<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">my aim was off.
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587
I could take out a cactus from three miles away with a<span class="s1">26.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">\ \ } HEN THERE WERE NO Other boys around, no other common enemies,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Willy and I would turn on each other.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">It happened most often in the back seat while Pa drove us somewhere.
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588
A<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">country house, say.
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589
Or a salmon stream.
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Once, in Scotland, on the way to the<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">River Spey, we started scuffling, and soon were in a full scrap, rolling back<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">and forth, trading blows.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Pa swerved to the side of the road, shouted at Willy to get out.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Me?
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Why me?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Pa didn’t feel the need to explain.
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Out.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Willy turned to me, furious.
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He felt I got away with everything.
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He<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">stepped out of the car, stomped to the backup car with all the bodyguards,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">strapped himself in.
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(We always wore seatbelts after Mummy’s<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">disappearance.)
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The convoy resumed.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Now and then I peered out the back window.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Behind us, I could just make out the future King of England, plotting his<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">revenge.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">27.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">' HE FIRST TIME I KILLED anything, Tiggy said: Well done, darling!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">64<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">https://m.facebook.com/groups/182281287 1297698 https://t.me/Afghansalarlibrary<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">She dipped her long, slender fingers into the rabbit’s body, under the flap<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">of smashed fur, scooped out a dollop of blood and smeared it tenderly across<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">my forehead, down my cheeks and nose.
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Now, she said, in her throaty voice,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">you are blooded.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Blooding—a tradition from the ages.
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A show of respect for the slain, an<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">act of communion by the slayer.
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Also, a way to mark the crossing from<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">boyhood into...not manhood.
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600
No, not that.
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But something close.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">And so, notwithstanding my hairless torso and chirpy voice, I considered<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">myself, post-blooding, to be a full-fledged stalker.
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But around my fifteenth<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">birthday I was informed that I’d be undertaking the true stalker initiation.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Red deer.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">It happened at Balmoral.
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Early morning, fog on the hills, mist in the<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">hollows.
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My guide, Sandy, was a turning people into animals, into non-<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">people, is the first step in mistreating them, in destroying them.
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605
If even a<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">celebrated intellectual could dismiss us as animals, what hope for the man<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">or woman on the street?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I gave the therapist an overview of how this dehumanization had played<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">out in the first half of my life.
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But now, with the dehumanizing of Meg,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">there was so much more hate, more vitriol—plus racism.
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607
I told her what<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I’d seen, heard, witnessed, over the last few months.
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At one point I sat up<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">on the couch, crooked my neck to see if she was listening.
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Her mouth was<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">hanging open.
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A lifelong resident of Britain, she’d thought she knew.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">235<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">https://m.facebook.com/groups/182281287 1297698 https://t.
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me/Afghansalarlibrary<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">She didn’t know.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">At the end of the session I asked her professional opinion:<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Is what I’m feeling...normal?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">She laughed.
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612
What’s normal anyway?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">But she conceded that one thing was abundantly clear: I found myself in<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">highly unusual circumstances.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Do you think I have an addictive personality?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">More accurately, what I wanted to know was, if I did have an addictive<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">personality, where would I be right now?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Hard to say.
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Hypotheticals, you know.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">She asked if I’d used drugs.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Yes.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I told her some wild stories.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Well, I am rather surprised you’re not a drug addict.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">If there was one thing to which I did seem undeniably addicted,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">however, it was the press.
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Reading it, raging at it, she said, these were<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">obvious compulsions.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I laughed.
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615
True.
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But they’re such shit.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">She laughed.
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spare.txt
617
They are.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">28.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">| Fass THOUGHT CRESSIDA had performed a miracle, opening me up,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">releasing suppressed emotions.
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But she’d only started the miracle, and<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">now the therapist brought it to completion.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">All my life I’d told people class="s1">Sandringham was balmy, but the dining room was subtropical.
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Pa and I<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">would always wait for Granny to look away, then one of us would jump up,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">sprint to a window, crack it an inch.
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620
Ah, blessed cool air.
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But the corgis<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">always betrayed us.
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The cool air would make them whimper, and Granny<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">would say: Js there a draft?
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And then a footman would promptly shut the<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">window.
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(That loud thump, unavoidable because the windows were so old,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">always felt like the door of a jail cell being slammed.)
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But now, every time I<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">was about to make any kind of public appearance, no matter the venue, it<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">felt like the Sandringham dining room.
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During one speech I became so<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">overheated that I felt sure everyone was noticing and discussing it.
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During<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">one drinks reception I searched frantically for anyone else who might be<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">experiencing the same heatstroke.
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I needed some assurance that it wasn’t<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">just me.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">But it was.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">As is so often true of fear, mine metastasized.
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Soon it wasn’t merely<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">public appearances, but all public venues.
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630
All crowds.
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I came to fear simply<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">being around other human beings.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">240<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">https://m.facebook.com/groups/182281287 1297698 https://t.me/Afghansalarlibrary<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">More than anything else I feared cameras.
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I’d never liked cameras, of<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">course, but now I couldn’t abide them.
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The telltale click of a shutter opening<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">and closing...it could knock me sideways for a whole day.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I had no choice: I began staying home.
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Day after day, night after night, I<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">sat around eating takeaway, watching 24.
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Or Friends.
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I think I might’ve<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">watched every episode of Friends in 2013.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I decided I was a Chandler.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">My actual friends would comment in passing that I didn’t seem myself.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">As if I had flu.
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Sometimes I’d think, Maybe I’m not myself.
99
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Maybe that’s<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">what’s going on here.
99
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Maybe this is some kind of metamorphosis.
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A new<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">self is emerging, and I’m just going to have to be this new person, this<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">frightened person, for the rest of my days.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Or maybe this had always been me, and it was only now becoming<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">evident?
99
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react with alarm.
99
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He went buzzing off and moments later<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">returned with Pa, who sat beside me.
99
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Immediately after him came Willy,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">who looked at me as if he planned to murder me.
99
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Hello, Harold.
99
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He sat<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">across from me.
99
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Separate entities indeed.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">When all participants had arrived, we shifted to a long conference table,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">with Granny at the head.
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Before each chair was a royal notepad and pencil.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">The Bee and the Wasp conducted a quick summary of where we were.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">The subject of the press came up pretty quickly.
99
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I referenced their cruel<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">and criminal behavior, but said they’d had a ton of help.
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This family had<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">enabled the papers by looking the other way, or by actively courting them,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">and some of the staff had worked directly with the press, briefing them,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">planting stories, occasionally rewarding and féting them.
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The press was a<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">big part of why we’d come to this crisis—their business model demanded<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">that we be in constant conflict—but they weren’t the only culprits.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I looked at Willy.
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This was his moment to jump in, echo what I was<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">saying, talk about his maddening experiences with Pa and Camilla.
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Instead<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">he complained about a story in the morning papers suggesting that he was<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">the reason we were leaving.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I’m now being accused of bullying you and Meg out of the family!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">410<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">https://m.facebook.com/groups/182281287 1297698 https://t.me/Afghansalarlibrary<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I wanted to say: We had nothing to do with that story... but imagine how<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">you might feel if we had leaked it.
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Then you’ll know how Meg and I have<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">felt the last three years.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">The private secretaries began to address Granny about the Five Options.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Your Majesty, you’ve seen the Five Options.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Yes, she said.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">We all had.
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They’d been emailed to us, five different ways of<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">proceeding.
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Option | was continuance of the status quo: Meg and I don’t<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">leave, everyone tries to go back to normal.
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Option 5 was full severance, no<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">royal role, no working for Granny, and total loss of security.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Option 3 was somewhere in between.
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by<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">traveling to its end.
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I’d already been to the North Pole.
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Now I’d walk to the<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">South.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Another trek in the company of Walking With The Wounded.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">People warned me that the South Pole was even colder than the North.
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I<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">laughed.
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How could that be possible?
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I’d already frozen my penis, mate—<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">247<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">https://m.facebook.com/groups/182281287 1297698 https://t.
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:me/Afghansalarlibrary<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">wasn’t that the very definition of worst-case scenario?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Also, this time I’d know how to take proper precautions—snugger<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">underwear, more padding, etc.
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Better yet, one very close mate hired a<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">seamstress to make me a bespoke cock cushion.
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Square, supportive, it was<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">sewn from pieces of the softest fleece and...<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Enough said.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">66.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I: BETWEEN PREPARATIONS for the assault on the Pole I sat down with my<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">new private secretary, Ed Lane Fox, whom we all called EIf.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">November 2013.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">A onetime captain in the Household Cavalry, Elf was trim, smart, sleek.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">He often reminded people of Willy, but that was down to his hairline more<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">than his personality.
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He reminded me less of my older brother than of a<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">racing dog.
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Like a greyhound, he wouldn’t ever stop.
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He’d chase that rabbit<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">to the end of time.
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In other words, he was wholly dedicated to the Cause,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">whatever it might be at any given moment.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">His greatest gift, though, might’ve been his knack for seeing to the heart<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">of things, for sizing up and simplifying situations and problems, which<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">made him the perfect man to help enact this ambitious idea of an<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">International Warrior Games.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Now that some of the money was in hand, Elf advised, next order of<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">business was finding someone with the uncommon organizational skills, the<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">social and political connections, to take on a job this size.
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He knew of just<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">the man.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Sir Keith Mills.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">Of course, I said.
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Sir Keith had organized the 2012 Olympics, in London,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">which had been such a a trick, and laugh.
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Oh,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">how he’d laugh!
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Then he’d realize it was me.
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And laugh louder!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">I couldn’t wait.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">The next night, as everyone tucked into their dinner, I tiptoed out of the<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">meal tent.
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I went down the footpath, fifty meters, into the kitchen tent, and<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1">poured a whole teacup of Tabasco into Marko’s bowl of pudding.