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t3_4cakpf | relationships | Me [28 M] with my friend [24 F] of 4 months, I asked her out, she tried to let me down easy but I didn't take the hint. Do I owe her an apology? | So I met a girl in one of my classes at the end of last semester (about 4 months ago) and we hit it off from the start as friends.
Well, I developed a crush on her so after we got dinner one night in February, I asked if she would be interested in going on a real date. She told me that she wasn't interested in dating anyone romantically right now. She had gotten out of a 4 year relationship a month or so before, so I initially thought this was the reasoning. Now, I realize she was probably just trying to let me down easy.
Since I failed to take the hint, I've spent the last month and a half flirting and showing her what a good guy (not nice guy, TM) I am in hopes that she was interested in me but just not ready to date.
I have since realized my mistake and that she was trying to let me down easy, which has got me to thinking. I'm done flirting, but I can only imagine how awkward it was for her as I attempted to flirt with her over the past month or so. Which brings me to my question, do I owe her an apology? Or is it better if I just cease flirting and go on being friends without a word said about it? | Asked a friend out, she tried to let me down easy but I didn't take the hint and kept flirting. I now realize she was letting me down easy. Do I owe her an apology for my behavior? |
t3_1thj2f | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ex [19 F] of 13 months, I don't love her anymore, or at least I don't think I do but I still feel bad when I see her or hear what she's been up to. | So, I was with her for 13 months and we've been broken up for about 3 months. I see her most days as we work in the same place over the summer just different shifts. We sometimes talk as she is ending her shift and I am starting it.
When I hear about what she's been up to or just see her in general I feel bad, like I get this feeling in my stomach. But the weird thing is, I don't think I love her anymore. We've both changed since the break-up. She's not the person I loved anymore, and the same goes for her about me.
Now that I've had time on my own I've realized how unhealthy our relationship was near the end of it and how that us breaking up was really for the best for both of us, especially now that she's moving across the country for university.
I just want to know, is this normal? Why do I feel like this? | I don't love my ex anymore, but I still feel shitty when I hear about what she's been up to? |
t3_2rmv2m | relationships | Are my SO [19/F] and I [20/M] too young to get engaged? | Here's a little backstory:
My girlfriend and I have known each other for now 6 years and have dated for the past 9 months. We've gotten through some issues together and worked everything out coming into the new year. I am currently living in a condo with my mom that my dad owns (they divorced back in 2012, and made an agreement that he still owns/pays the bills until June of this year). When that time in June comes around, my mom will live in either west with her current boyfriend, move south with my brother, or stay where I am. All of our family is down south and we moved up here because of my dad's job. My mom is not worried about me being on my own with my girlfriend because we both have our heads on straight and I have a well paid career job.
Money isn't the issue here, because between us both we are able to pay all of our bills and have some left over. We've talked about getting engaged, but not getting married for a few years once we have our own house and are ready to settle down. It's kind of like a promise to marry when we're ready financially.
We feel truly that there isn't anyone else we're close with. I have no second thoughts about waking up to her everyday, coming home to her, and doing everything together. We've had some times in the past where we'd have the house to ourselves for weeks at a time, which mocked her living with me. I can tell you it was amazing. Not just because we had no one else around, but we took care of the place, just as if we were living together.
The big question here is, is this too much to go after? I wanna make it clear again we are thinking about getting ENGAGED, and not getting married until further down the road. | Thinking about getting ENGAGED to my girlfriend, and not getting married until we are in a better position to get married. |
t3_q4mtl | running | Running a Competitive 5000m, help? | I'm no stranger to running, and have had a lot of help from this subreddit in reaching my previous goals, so I'm hoping to get some input for this as well.
I just finished my first marathon, yay go me! The feeling was like nothing I've ever felt before... it really was one of the best moments of my life. Although my time may not be something to brag about (3:49:12), the fact that I actually finished is what mattered to me.
During the run, I was thinking about where I'll go after this. Will it be another marathon? Maybe cycling, rowing, swimming? While all of these are amazing on their own (and together), I felt like running was my best course of action. I love it.
The night before and morning during, I decided to watch some motivational clips and movies to help me keep positive during the race. I wanted to be diverse and not segregate marathon running and other forms of running. Anyway, I stumbled on this video while on the train to the event:
Now, I've heard of Pre before, but I never really watched any of his actual races. My god was I blown away. My fastest 3 miles, ever, was around 24 minutes; but here he is, this man, running 3 miles in under 20 minutes, 15 minutes, wait... almost *13 minutes?*... and he didn't even place first.
That's where I decided, I want to focus on speed more than anything this time, and see If I can get my own 4, 5, or 6 minutes miles consecutively. | Can anyone provide me with a training program that can make this reality? I've tried searching for books on the subject, but can't really find any. |
t3_42hxwr | tifu | TIFU by being a heartless bastard. | This series of events started last night around 11:45, and ended about an hour ago.
So last night, I got a text from my ex-girlfriend saying that she wanted to hang out. Me, thinking that it would be a good idea to do this, agreed to go meet her (mistake #1).
After driving to her place, we proceeded to have a few drinks (mistake #2), during which I find out that she broke up with her boyfriend THAT day. I tried to console her, and because I'm a fucking moron, slept with her.
This morning, after another round of doing the deed, I told her that I had to go and say goodbye to my stepdad back at home (he had asked for me to say goodbye before he went on a trip and I went back across the state where I spend most of my time).
My Ex, being in a very emotional and fragile state (which I failed to recognize, because I'm a complete dumbass), proceeded to burst into tears and kick me out, saying that all the men in her life always just use her then walk out on her. I tried to apologize and explain things to her, but she was very adamant that I was using her and didn't want to hear it.
After driving home, and thinking about her reaction the entire 45 minute drive home, I see where she is coming from and feel immensely horrible. Like, to the point where I know feel literally sick from my own actions (alcohol in my system notwithstanding). I sent her a very long text apologizing, and I promised her that I'd make it up to her, which is a promise I fully intend on keeping because I really feel terrible about the entire situation. I'm not feeling optimistic about the situation at all, and have yet to hear back from her (although I don't expect an immediate response). | Slept with ex, made her feel like she was being used only for sex, and left because of a fairly BS reason. |
t3_3nr97q | relationships | Me [21/F] with my SO [22/M], doesn't approve of a job because it is beneath him. | EDIT: WE HAVE COME TO AN AGREEMENT WITH MY SO AND HE WILL BE LETTING ME TAKE THE JOB
Okay so I recently turned 21 and was offered a job to work as a promo girl. i told my SO it was a good idea since I am paying off a car loan and with the extra cash from being a promo girl I can finish paying off the car within 2-3 months. Anyway my SO flipped out and threatened to leave me and said he wouldn't date a girl who took that job since it is "beneath him" and is also trashy. I tried to reason with him but he got mad and kept saying it was a lowly job and only sluts take those jobs. My SO and I have been dating almost about 2 years and I should mention I have never cheated or anything of the sort. I offered to make a deal that I would only work as a promo girl for a couple of months till I got the cash but he refused then I told my SO if he didn't want me to take the job then he should help me pay off the car. | Wanted to take a job as a pomo girl selling beer and my SO flipped out and said it was a job for whores and he would leave me. |
t3_2bhzwc | relationship_advice | I, 26m, found my SO, 27f, lying, but by going though her phone.. | I 26m have been with my gf 27f for about a year now. I don't think I can trust her. When we first started dating, she said she was on BC but then told me that her body works like BC and she doesn't need BC due to a medical condition. I asked her to get on it and she did. I've noticed, however, she's not great at taking it every day. I feel like I can't trust her to take it.
Fast forward to last weekend. I go out of town and she goes out with her roommate. She ends up doing cocaine, but neglects to tell me this when she recaps her weekend. I wouldn't normally care, but she went about 6 months with almost daily use a couple of years ago, but tapered off significantly about a year before we met. She'd still do it on occasion, but nothing like day long benders or anything. I expressed my concern for her because I knew her past and she immediately promised me she'd stop doing it again and it wasn't worth it and it's not fun anymore..the whole 9. I tell her that's a bit much to promise something like that, but she insists.
I found out this information because I went through her phone. I had a feeling she wasn't being honest and used that as justification to go through her phone. I found exactly what I expected by reading texts between her and her roommate. It was even more weird because the guy she got the cocaine from was calling her babe, and I think even said goodnight love the night after they met up.
I don't know what to do. I showed a complete lack of trust by going through her phone, but she also lied about what she's been up to. I don't trust that that was the first time she's done it since promising me she wouldn't due to what she said in the texts. I took pictures of the texts that prove her guilt, but also prove mine.
Any advice would be great. | went through gf's phone, found she lied to me, but I'm also guilty of going through her phone. |
t3_1agh6u | offmychest | Trying to help someone who was unable to be helped? | Hello Reddit,
I am a bit drunk but i am very much conscious and aware of what just happenedl. Here is the story,
So went out tonight and i saw a girl that is in my class. She is very cute, but doesn't appear to be able to take care of herself with too much consumption of alcohol. I spoke with her in the club where i saw her and noticed that she was incredibly drunk. She had lost her phone and she was unable to take of herself. Of course since she was very beatiful, all the boys were attempting to persuade her to go with them. Obviously they wanted to take advantage her.
however this prospect that she was going to be violeted just pissed me off. So when my friends prompted me to leave the club, i spotted her and attempted to ask if she'd like to take a taxi with me and my friend back home.
She accepted and we took the taxi, though one of the boys proceeded to "claim" that he knew her and was helping her get back home. I was a bit reluctant to let him in the cab, but what could i say?
So we all drove back and were dropped off where she lived, everyone got out and we parted ways, however i saw she left with the boy who "claimed" to know her. He went with her into the building. I can't help but feeling that he was lying and he just wanted to get in her pants due to her drunken state.
Reddit i feel like i could've done better, i could've refused the boy to come with us on the cab ( he didn't pay at all btw) and perhaps save her from a potential violation. I don't know what to think. I'm just a naive almost 20 year old college boy who knows next to nothing about girls. I'm still pissed. thought i'd share with yall. | Went out and tried to help girl who was heavily intoxicated, but potentially helped someone else take advantage of her. WTF! |
t3_1ztlmm | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] - She has an eating disorder, and said she thought about (but did not go through with) self harm last night | First off, we are long distance, but I will be seeing her this weekend.
She has been struggling with an eating disorder for quite some time now. She is in an outpatient program as well as therapy twice a week, but she is not getting any better. In fact, things seem to keep getting worse.
This morning, she texts me asking if I'd every thought about self-harm. She knows I've had problems with depression in the past, so it was a reasonable question to ask. I honestly told her that I hadn't, and asked her what brought up that thought. She told me that she thought about it last night, but that she did not and would not ever go through with it. I told her that it put me in a tough position between not wanting to violate her trust, but also being concerned that something more would happen.
I don't know what to do. Do I tell someone? Do I trust that she will if she has these thoughts again? | GIrlfriend threatened, but did not go through with self-harm. Do I tell someone or trust that she will if these thoughts come up again? |
t3_4fo663 | relationships | My (F21) friends (M/F20s) keep inviting to eat at restaurant where my emotionally abusive ex (22M) works at, I ignore. I see that they finally went without me and it's left a bad taste in my mouth. | Hi guys. I broke up with my emotionally and sexually abusive ex several months ago. I'm doing well in recovering from the trauma and I'm moving on, but I do my best to absolutely avoid my ex.
My friends like to go to happy hours and in group messages, they'll bring up the place my ex works at. I ignore it, it's pretty insensitive that they keep bringing it up but I don't make a big deal even though it's a little irritating.
The thing is, my friends know a little bit about the abuse. Also, the idea of my ex knowing anything about my life is repulsive so I would hate for them to talk to him and tell him how I am.
I saw that they went there for happy hour and I just felt kinda upset and betrayed. Also I feared that they talked to him.
Probably nothing happened but that has left a bad taste in my mouth and now I don't really care to talk these people anymore.
Am I being petty or should I go back to being friends with them? | friends keep suggesting to hang out at restaurant abusive ex works, invite me a few times. I ignore, suggest other places, saw that they went without me and feel kinda weird and upset about it considering that they know about the abuse. |
t3_1ycd2w | relationship_advice | Me [22/M] wants to move back to FL but my GF [25/F] doesn't want to for many years but I want to now. | Keeping it really short.
I really love my girlfriend of 2+ years but last January, after a death in the family, I decided that we should move to where her family was living; Michigan. Before moving to MI we had been living in FL in the Orlando area, we both love Disney and we met through this common interest. We had always talked about moving back to FL in 10+ years after having kids and being married( which I do want to marry her ) but when I thought about FL I came to the conclusion that I really miss it. Miss it so much that before I even met her I thought I would live there forever, I gave up everything I wanted( living in florida ) to be with her and to make her happy. Now I have no idea what to do because I feel like I am becoming distant with our relationship and I know she can tell. Last night I told her how much I missed Florida and wanted to move back this year and she responded with "Then move back to Florida, I don't want to keep you from something you want". She cried last night when we were going to bed and kept telling me it was because she didn't feel good, I apologized for what I said even though it something I keep thinking is what I want. I also told her that why doesn't she just come back with me since I can afford to pay for everything and she just said that her parents would never talk to her again. Her parents never really wanted her to live in FL but since moving back I know they would never want her to move there again. I have thought about the option of me breaking it off, which I know she would be crushed because I am the first person to treat her the way she should be treated. Any advice on either breaking it off or am I being too harsh?
We both do not have any family in Florida. | We moved to her home town in Michigan from Florida a year ago but I want to move back now but she doesn't want to. We both do not have any family in Florida. |
t3_ed2o9 | AskReddit | Depressed and unable to cope | Throwaway, obviously. My long time girlfriend (3.5 years) broke up with me in September, at the very same time my family was going through a lot of problems concerning my father's health and whatnot. She moved out, and moved back in with her parent's, and is moving very far away in January. I have been more and more depressed every day. I can't do anything but sulk. I don't ever feel like talking, or working at anything. I try and talk to her, mainly because I can't help myself. I have no urge to try and get better. I know I don't want to feel like this anymore, but I just feel completely helpless. I have been staying with my parent's and it is starting to piss them off that I am here all the time, and just sitting around being sad.
I just don't know what to do. What will make me feel better? Everyone is telling me that time will heal all wounds and I need to find things to do, but Its almost like a physical inability to do anything, or to think of doing anything. I was explaining how I was feeling to an old friend on facebook (chat) and he suggested that I might be depressed. I don't know where to start with any other this. My parent's don't understand at all, they try and be supportive, but I don't think they know what I'm really going through, or what to do about it. | I'm really depressed from my longtime girlfriend breaking up with me and I can't get back into it and I am looking for help. |
t3_4dptlt | relationships | I [18/m] am interested in my friend [18/f] . I want to be with her but afraid of screwing things up. | I know I'm young but I don't want any of the "you're young so go for it blah blah blah".
I've known "Anne" for over three years but only gotten to know her really well over the last 2.5 years. During the first half year I was dating a friend of hers. Half a year later after I broke up with her friend, I started to realize I was attracted to her. And I was ready to ask Anne out but she got back together with her ex. So I couldn't do anything but I was still really close friends with her throughout her relationship with him and i was fine.
However they broke up 5 months ago because "Jonathan" said he didn't feel snything towards her and being really cold to her. She broke up with him afterwards but she still told me she really missed him. However ever since they broke up, my old feelings for her resurfaced. But I don't know if I want to take the chance of breaking our friendship. We're really close and we can talk to each other about anything and hang out regularly.
But lately we've been really irrational with talking to each other. She gets really touchy with anything to do with men and dating and any time I even bring it up she gets angry and that just leads to arguments. And I've been really irrational over the last month when talking to her. It's gotten more worse over the last two weeks where the slightest thing will tick us off and we argue more than we talk. She's told me "I want people to approach me but lately I'm too obnoxious" but then that just led to me asking about her ex and that just ended in an argument.
I really want to ask her out but I'm afraid that if I get rejected our current unstable friendship will detoriate even more and that'll be the end of us as friends. I'm at a loss at what to do. | was in love with a friend, but she was off limits, feelings resurfaced but friendship became unstable. Not sure whether to go for it and ask her out. |
t3_10wyh6 | relationships | Depressed boyfriend can't do school work. (23F-24M) | I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I'm 23 he's 24.
My boyfriend has depression and has been trying all kinds of meds for it for the last 8 months now. He is in college and I am trying to find work. He should have graduated last june but he never turned in any of the work and lied to me about it and failed. So we had to stay for summer term and he failed that as well. So now we are here for another semester and I am at my wits end.
He lies to me constantly about homework and his meds. I believe he has stopped taking them and keeps mumbling something about his doctor but never makes an appointment. It has gotten to the point where I have to get really mean and constantly nag him until he finally tells me the truth. I'm sick of doing that and I feel like his mother.
He can't even do a one page paper. He gets upset then gets a headache and can't write. He is seeing a therapist but that has done nothing. I talked to him about maybe going to see him more often but he has refused.
He won't listen to me and won't accept any help. Whenever I try to help him with anything he talks down to me and shoots down any thing I say even if he knows I'm right.
I am so frustrated, I moved down here last year to be with him and I have not been able to find a job in this small town. I have contemplated moving back just so I could make some money but I would have no where to stay and he would have a really hard time.
I don't know any resources he has at school and he won't tell me anything.
I feel trapped, I can't email his teachers and ask for the homework, I can't call his therapist and ask him to talk to my boyfriend about these issues.. wtf do I do? | boyfriend is failing college but will not talk to me about why he isn't turning in work. he is on meds and is seeing a therapist but it doesn't help. |
t3_tvx7i | relationship_advice | Mutual friends getting in the way of taking a female friend for a coffee | So I think I will face a lot of "man up" kind of responses but maybe that's just what I need to hear.
So there's this girl I really like, who has been a friend since school. I hadn't seen her in a while and a few weeks ago I met her at a party, where I got pretty drunk and talked to her for quite a bit. The next day I had an impression that she was hitting on me at that party, but then again I was drunk. And then I got a text from her saying "hey do you want to hang out today" but I replied back saying I had class.
Since then my feelings for her have been growing as I've been thinking about her more and more. A few days ago I met her at a mutual friend's house, and before that I texted her asking her if she was going, and said that I looked forward to her seeing there. I guess I sort of assumed that she would only want to speak to me, so when I got there, another friend talked to her a lot (not really flirty though) and this really bothered me. I talked to her quite a bit too, but it wasn't really one on one and this other friend usually was in the conversation too.
I decided to man up, and was going to ask her to a coffee on the same day as she asked me a few weeks ago saying "I felt bad for skipping it, so lets hang out". But now another mutual friend wants us all to hang about at that very same time this tuesday. This is the only time when me meeting this girl would be convenient in the week.
Can anyone tell me how I can deal with my mutual friends and really get this girl alone to show her how i feel? At the moment, even though I'm trying to indicate my interest, I still think she treats us as friends. | I like this friend from school and want to ask her out, but mutual friends keep getting in the way of me showing my interest. |
t3_2wweck | tifu | TIFU by reading my junkmail. (Possibly NSFW) | Me (18) and my older sister (20) both still live at home. She was waiting for a package to come in the mail this morning. So she got the mail and my little sister (12) saw and wanted to help her sort it. They were going through and found a catalog that was addressed to me. This isn't totally unexpected, it happens from time to time because my information is shared from other places that I have ordered. So we started to look through and at the items inside. It had a lot of products for older people like diapers, walkers and portable "hoppers." It also had some odd stuff in there as well like a two handled mug and weird shaped pillows. We had a few laughs, making fun of how uncomfortable the person modeling the pillow looked. The girls went back to sorting out the mail while I kept flipping through the booklet till I got to one page. It was filled with thick, veiny dildos varying in color and style. The look of shock and slight amusement on my face must have been noticeable because my sisters started to come over so they could see. My older sister is very righteous and would be appalled by this and tell my parents, then they would start to question what I order and maybe even my sexuality. If my little sister saw it things would escalate even more, we would possibly have to fill in the gaps for her and it would be terrible. In a panic, I just ripped the page out of the magazine, shoved it in my mouth and swallowed. They started yelling at me asking, "What'd you do that for?" So at this point, I just ran to my room and locked the door. I don't know where to go from here. | I shoved a bunch of dildos into my mouth in front of my sisters and I don't know what to do. |
t3_20o65w | dating_advice | 26M Easily discouraged dating failure of 5 years, how do you deal with failure? | Hey all, I post here a lot with advice, so now I need some...
I have been dating so long, and trying so many different things that I just wonder what the hell my deal is? Everytime I think something may go my way, it doesnt and I become pretty discouraged. I'm really lonely, and all my friends are getting married and starting their lives. I am making myself a more complete person, volunteering, hanging with family etc. But whatever you need to attract women for the long haul, I feel like I just dont have it. I get into funks, and I beat myself up pretty hard. People say "Once you stop worrying and looking, thats when you find it." I think thats a load of horse shit... I feel like Im in a vicious cycle, and I dont know what the next step is. I want real advice, not feel good mumbo jumbo. Are some people just destined to be alone?
I have good qualities, but I think what women say their looking for doesnt match their actions... | 26M Dating failure is lonely and depressed, friends are getting married. Bummed out...seeking real advice, not just bullshit. |
t3_33o62z | Advice | Need help on recommendations for selling calligraphy in school | A little about me:
I write with fountain pens, and use them for calligraphy as well. I only have 1 bottle of turquoise ink, and 2 pens. One for [flex] ), and one for [italic] .
Now back to the advice needed. I know I'm not as good as people on /r/calligraphy, but since I am one of the only people in my school (that I know of) that has the same intrest of calligraphy as me, I wanted to take that to advantage by writing stuff in calligraphy for people as they request(*especially as mothers day comes up*). My thoughts so far on that would be 1$ after every 5 words
How does that sound? As a customer of mine, how much are you willing to pay? Is that too little or too much? And is this in general a good idea? | taking requests for calligraphy at high-school I go to, 1$ after every 5 words, how does that sound? |
t3_14qi7m | pettyrevenge | Toddlers and duct tape | My brother and I are five years apart and have the classical love-hate relationship most siblings do. When my brother (who we shall call Sam) was around 4 year and I was around 9, he managed to get his hands on a roll of duct tape. This was the equivalent of porn to his puny toddler brain. Sam decided his main goal would be to stick a nice long piece of it in my hair, which at the time went to down to my hips.
Alas, because Sam was indeed a puny toddler, he could not manage the feat despite trying for almost a week. I, on the other hand, was a fairly competent 9 year old and at the end of the week of duct tape terror, I successful stuck a solid wad of duct tape in his hair. My mom had to use scissors to cut out the tape and the resulting bald spot took a couple weeks to grow back :) | – My brother threatened to put duct tape in my hair but never actually managed to do it. I stuck some in his hair anyway. |
t3_33mijm | relationship_advice | I feel shes losing interest in me [21m]/[21f] | Hey all, lately my gf has been under a lot of stress and has been slightly depressed. Her sex drive has completely gone away and I cannot help but wonder if she is just emotionally checking out of our relationship.
We have been together for over a year now and things were great up until when finals started about 2 weeks ago. She started just being drained, not wanting to have sex, not going to the gym, depressed and was not sure what it was from. Most of it was from stress but its been really eating me up inside.
I have talked to her about it and she assures me that she still loves me but had a few days where she just wanted to be left alone. I treat this girl with respect and we have future plans together, we even have an out of country trip in 3 weeks that is already paid for.
I just don't know if its me or if its her and being caught up in school. I have not slept in a little bit because it keeps me up all night wondering. It is even making me physically ill, so much stress with finals for me and her has been making me throw up after every workout I do. Im just not managing it well.
Has anyone ever been through something like this before? | Gf has been stressed and depressed. Not wanting sex or seeing me as much, wanting for friend time. Can not tell if its me or her. |
t3_3e40sc | relationships | New Relationship and Terrified of Messing it Up | I [26F] have been dating a guy [26F] for a few weeks now. It's going great, I like him a lot and he seems to really like me. Lots of great dates, makes an effort to see me, nothing suggests that he is just in it for sex, etc. I could definitely see it turning into a relationship. However, I have never had a serious boyfriend and am terrified of messing it up and/or him suddenly losing interest. Any of my past flings/hook-ups/whatever you want to call them have ended pretty suddenly and seemingly through no fault of my own, they just lose interest. The closest thing I have had to a boyfriend was a 4 month fling who one day randomly decided he didn't have feelings for me anymore, even though things seemed to have been going great.
How do I get over this fear and not drive myself insane by thinking anytime he takes long to answer a text, is busy and can't hang out that night, etc. he's not interested? Deep down I know all is (most likely) okay but I can't help my past experiences from putting these ideas in my head and constantly thinking it's ending. | How do I not get my hopes on a new relationship up too high while also having positive thoughts on where it's going? Battling trust issues from the past it seems.. |
t3_21r8dn | relationships | Me [26 M] with my Fiance [25 F] of one year, she's either cheating or lying with abusive ex. | I don't really know what's going on right now and it's hard to put into words...My fiance just left for a run and said she would be a while because she wanted to go look at nature. I immediately perked up because she never runs, and she was taking her phone with her. Her ex also lives within a mile of us, which made me really worried. I noticed she had just chatted with him on her facebook wall and left up messages between them saying she missed him and was coming over to see him.
I don't really know what to do. I love her but I can't believe she would hurt me this way. Even if they aren't doing anything, she was over there less than a month ago for 3 or 4 hours and I got really upset about it and told her he made me really uncomfortable.
I can understand if she's lying to see him because she still wants him to be a part of her life, but the lie itself makes me see red and all I can think about is her over there most likely cheating on me. What do I do? I need to confront her about this today, probably in like an hour. But I don't want it to end and I want her to love me. Is there any chance I can salvage this? | Fiance went for a run, and is over at her abusive ex's right now. She lied to me, I'm freaking out about what's happening. |
t3_vn13q | relationships | Is this right? | I'm 28/m she's 27/f. I am not sure if I am just an asshole or what is going on. I need some opinions on this. My fiancé had a miscarriage about 15 months ago. This was another guy's kid and they broke up shortly after and about 3 months later I was there, so we've been together about 10 months. Lately she has become very upset about the whole thing to the point of bawling her eyes out to me and expecting me to have some words to make her feel better. She says if I love her I should make her feel better. I just don't feel like it's fair to me to drop all of this on me. There is no way I can understand what she is going through, it wasn't even my baby. I would love to make her feel better but this is causing me a lot of stress. I have suggested she see a therapist about it but she won't. I am at a loss for what to do. | My fiance had a miscarriage with another guy's baby and is making me feel responsible for making her feel better about it. |
t3_1c1rn3 | AskReddit | A productive, indoor hobby for an unskilled, undermotivated person? | Dear folks of Reddit.
I am a 25 y.o. male with severe depression, caught pretty much indoors most of my time. I've been trying to stay motivated to do something but nothing's really lasting.
I've tried my hands on modelling military vehicles, collecting trading figures, lego, cooking and growing pot plants (secretly wishing they were *pots* wink wink).
Can't do much handywork because I live in an apartment complex so haven't got neither the space nor a project. Having to keep noise down to minimum is also a big factor in keeping woodworks and other manly stuff out at an arm's reach.
While the pot plant (a potted silver vine, really) stuck around, nothing else seems to really get ahold of my interest strongly enough to get me through the day.
Cooking was disasterous not because of what I produced but because I would more often abandon my project mid-prep than really follow it through. I had had a refrigeratorful of untasted marinades and half-cooked noodles I had to throw away when they started going bad.
I'm responsible enough not to keep a pet because I know I won't be able to give it the attention it will need. That's the real reason I got myself a plant to grow too, needing only to water once or twice a week then watch it grow.
But now I want to make something useful out of my time other than contributing to local oxygen balance and perhaps put something credible on the future resume.
So here's my final question and the | what can a person do in a limited resources situation (no space, no patience, no special tools and so on) to take as productive a hobby as he can? |
t3_236sxf | relationships | My (f25) GF wants to end things with me (m28) unless I know we'll get engaged | * | After 10 months she thinks I should "know by now" if this will last, and that I should be thinking towards engagement.. I want to take things slower, and we're now taking a break, and have separated |
t3_w94u2 | relationships | Girlfriend admitted tonight that she didn't think we could make it work over a long distance, what do I do? | My girlfriend(20,F) and I(21,M) have been together for 6 months and we've been completely in love and having the time of our lives. We kept saying that we were going to make things work because we are only a 4 hour drive away from each other. She keeps telling me that she will always love me and I am the best thing that has ever happened to her. Tonight we were talking about the future and she said that she didn't think it would work and that it would be hard at best. For both of us this is one of our first serious relationship and we're going to be apart from each other for a month to 3 months at a time. What do I do now? I love her and im pretty sure she feels the same way, I know she wants to stay together but the distance might kill us. Any advice? | Girlfriend and I want to try to make it work over a long distance she said tonight it might not work. Any advice? |
t3_2tlq43 | relationships | I[15m] need help confessing something to my gf[15] | Alright so some back story first:
At around 10 years old my girlfriend was molested by her grandfather in her own home. He molested her and her two older sisters. She has not told anyone besides me. She told me around our 3-4 months and we've been dating for a little over 9 months now.
About a year ago i sent pictures of my dick to some girls that i knew. We exchanged that stuff, the whole thing. My girlfriend knew about this but didnt bother her that much. Until a couple days ago i told her that someone she hates seen the picture i sent to another girl, and she was pissed. She said she felt like i had been hiding it from her but in reality i just never felt the need to tell her. She was very upset and told me that she even thought breaking up, but she eventually realized that she was over reacting and she cooled down. (i included this so you guys would know how she reacted from me unintentionally hiding something from her)
Now heres the bad stuff:
At around 11 years old i did something that makes my hands shake just typing it. I molested the girl across the street. She was like 4-5... I feel like shit almost every single day. I've thought about killing myself multiple times, but i know that it would do no good. i hate hiding this from my girlfriend. i love her and i dont want to have secrets. So i am asking you guys to give me advice on telling her. Thanks.
p.s. i have not told anyone and have already decided that im going to go to consoling for this | gf and i are on opposite spectrum of a devastating event in our own lives. Need help in revealing my side to her so i dont feel like im hiding myself from her. |
t3_1a0klu | relationships | Still not comfortable [20] | I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. I am still uncomfortable being sexual though. We have not "had sex" (aka vaginal) yet still, but mostly bc we're waiting until we have the opportunity and the time is right, plus a part of me wants to wait until I'm married. But we often "fool around." We make out a lot and he fingers me and we engage in oral. I wont lie, I like it as we're doing it, it does feel good. But afterwards I always feel kind of dirty. Like it was wrong and "bad" to do, and I kind of feel like a whore.
He knows I used to feel this way, but I dont know if he realizes I still do.
I also have anxiety problems, and I miss him more and feel worse after times when we've been sexual.
I'm not sure what to do about this. I'm sure being sexual with my boyfriend of 4 years doesn't make me a whore, yet I still feel that way afterwards. any suggestions?
We're 20 yrs of age btw. | My boyfriend and I have bee together for 4 years and have been sexual numerous times, yet I still feel awkward and umcomfortable when it comes to being sexual. What should I do? |
t3_va5pr | AskReddit | Trolling Israelis in FPS... help? | I'm an off and on [Urban Terror] player and I've gotten good enough that I have a lot of time on my hands while playing where I can 'troll' and generally rile people up.
A favorite subject of mine is Israel, since I don't have a personal stake in it other than on the periphery (my country props up their country) I can stay lulzy and detached. People are really, really sensitive about Israel. They take every opportunity to justify the horrific stuff that Israel does to brown people near them, and even when you praise Israel for defending its borders, etc/whatever, just one word out of place is enough to send them into a rant about how necessary genocide is to keep Israel safe.
So reddit, what are some clever player names (short, <20 chars, whatever Q3 limit is), and one-liners I can macro to guarantee maximum text-to-reply ratio?
Keep in mind that anything overtly anti-Israel won't pass their mental filter and will be dismissed in a single 'thought', or a few cross words. This'll take some creativity and that's why I'm asking the hivemind for help. What really heinous activities can I comment on in a *positive* manner that'll send them up the wall? | Reddit, give me your best back-handed compliments for Israel so I can make people ragequit from a very old FPS. |
t3_2cajoi | relationships | My (19F) boyfriend (20M), is trying to get his spending under control, but he lied to me about it. | So two weeks ago, my boyfriend of four months came up to me and said that he needs to get his spending under control because it was getting out of hand. Were both in college. He does some entrepreneurial stuff on the side and makes a pretty good amount of money, but he has a bad habit of constantly spending it (eating out a lot, buying what he wants, etc). He said on average he probably spends 30-40 dollars a day.
So two weeks ago he tells me that he's gonna try to spend no money for two weeks. Shakes my hand and says he's gonna try his best.
So today was two weeks, we were hanging out and I said so today's marks two weeks, did you make it? He said he did spend money, but he drastically cut his spending. He said he spent under 20 bucks for the whole two weeks. I got mad and said then you failed and you lied to me when you said you wouldn't spend any money. He said that that's not fair, and that he went from spending 40 bucks a day to ten bucks a week. Now granted he makes really good money (he does a lot of design work on the side, sometimes more than 2K a month), I Still think he went back on his word and didn't try hard enough. I told him that I don't appreciate him making a promise to me and then doing it half ass. He noticed me genuinely getting upset and he told me I'm being ridiculous "I can't believe youre mad".
I can easily go a month without spending anything. He should have cooked before hand instead of having to buy something last minute because he " didn't have time to go back and cool something"
Ugh I just don't know. I hate shit like this. I'm Still upset with him and he's starting to get upset with me for "being upset over nothing" but I want him to apologize. He doesn't think its warranted.
Do you guys think I'm over reacting? | boyfriend lied about his spending, says I'm overreacting and that he really made progress. I think he's half adding it. |
t3_1w09xa | relationships | I [24M] moved out of state for a girl [23F] which ended up blowing up in my face. Now I'm dating a girl [22F] that is great but struggle letting go of my ex | Okay so I was dating a girl [23 F] that I had been really good friends with for nearly 8 years. Normally I would never drop everything I know and leave the people that are truly dear to me but since we had been really good friends for a long time and everything had been awesome since we started dating I made the decision to move across the country to be with her while she was finishing up school.
To make a long story short, she started to act really weird and very distant toward me for the last month or so of our relationship. We decided that it was best to break things off and try and still stay in touch since we had such a long history of friendship. This went as well as it could for a few weeks until the truth came out, and I found out she had met another guy while we were still dating and I was still there. Now I was already devastated that we had broken up because I knew that we were going to get married and i was under the impression that we were just waiting until we could take that step together. But after everything else surfaced I just couldn't get any of it out of my head.
Which brings me to today. It's been about 5 months since we broke up and moved back home. I am now dating an awesome girl [22 F]. She is so nice and such a genuinely nice person with a big heart. I really like her and I enjoy spending time with her. My problem is that I feel so terrible every single day because anytime I have a minute to myself my mind goes straight back to my ex and so many emotions come racing back to me. I feel terrible because I don't want to think about her and the girl I'm dating now doesn't deserve for me to still battle with that while she's so cool. She doesn't know I struggle with this because I put on a smile and just go about my day. But I just can't seem to get it to stop and I don't know if any of you will read this or even care but any advice is definitely welcomed. | moved out of state for a girl I thought I had a future with. Ended up blowing up in my face. Now I'm dating an awesome girl but still think about my ex and feel terrible about it. |
t3_53pi83 | legaladvice | Can my landlord limit my laundry and hot water usage? | I have lived in my current apartment for just over one year with my fiance. We have two designated laundry days, which we did not choose (Tuesday and Saturday). We both work in the service industry and never have Saturday off and rarely Tuesday so we have been struggling to get our laundry done. We are only allowed to use the washer and dryer between the hours of 12pm-5pm and I have just been informed that we are now only allowed to do our laundry one day a week between 12-5.
We have been asked many times about our power usage and our landlord often complains to us about how much his bills cost for the whole house. As is we only do about 2 loads of laundry a week. Maybe more if I get my laundry days off work.
We are very reasonable with our power usage and we work a lot so were not home a lot of the time and everything is shut off. Even when we're home we only have lights on if we are in the room, our TV is usually on when we're home, and in the summer we will have a fan running.
This man has called and texted us at all hours of the night making sure we're not showering after 10pm (which sometimes we want to when getting home from a serving shift). If I want to do the dishes when I get home from work I can't or even washing my hands late at night, I'm wondering if we're going to get "in trouble" with our landlord.
We live in a 3 unit house, our landlord lives in one unit, one person lives in the other unit, and the two of us in our unit. No one else works besides me and my fiance, to my knowledge. All of our utilities are included in our rent.
Is he allowed to restrict our laundry days and what time of day we use hot water? We are in Nova Scotia, Canada. | Can my landlord restrict laundry to only 5 hours a week and can he dictate when we are allowed to use hot water? |
t3_358ubf | relationships | I [24F] just found out than an old one-night stand [31M] is married. Should I contact his wife? | Last summer I had a one-night stand with someone I met online. We had talked for a few weeks and he told me he was single. After spending the night together, we never spoke again and it never occurred to me to look him up on social media.
Last night I thought of him again, so I looked him up on Facebook. That led me to discovering his wife of 4 years and kids. His wife had twins last September, which means she was probably 6-7 months pregnant when I met up with this man. I looked through both of their profiles, and all the posts/photos look like they have the perfect marriage and family life. There is no explicit indication that she knows about his infidelity.
So now I am wondering whether I should contact his wife to tell her about her husband cheating on her. I feel disgusted to know that he cheated (probably wasn't the first time either)... and if I were married, I would want to know if my husband were cheating. However, I am leaning towards not intervening. Perhaps she already knows, perhaps this would wreck their marriage. Would I not be overstepping some boundary? How would I even go about telling her (anonymously)? Their relationship is between the two of them, although I can't help but feel that she deserves to know somehow.
I have been pondering this decision for the entire day and cannot make up my mind. Could anyone shed some light on the situation? | Discovered through Facebook that an old fling is married. Should I tell his wife that her husband is unfaithful? |
t3_1x031m | legaladvice | Help with a trust | Alright I will try to make this as easy to understand as possible. If at the end you have questions please ask.
When my grandpa died when I was (16?) he left me a trust. I was told this trust will be used to take care of my college education and all other college supplies. The thing is I was told I would need to get a receipt and send it to my uncle who would in turn send it to the (trust department) and then they would supply the money for it. I turned 18 back in August and recently my computers hard drive has been fried for the second time in less than a year (NOTE: this laptop was paid for by the trust, but only after waiting for about a week.). That being said I have decided I need a new computer and instead of going cheap like last time I am going to go for one that will fit my college needs and my lifestyle. Now that I am 18 I would like to have my own attorney to handle my trust instead of my uncle. Instead of having the money sit there I would prefer it be in a bank collecting interest instead of it sitting in an office collecting dust. Now that I am an adult I would like to have say over this. I don't not want to have to go to my uncle and ask him if I can get this, I want to be able to go to my attorney and say "Hey my computer just broke for the second time I need money for a new one." and I want to be able to be told "Alright here is your money" within reason. That being said I would like to know how I would go about having my trust transferred to an attorney under me and not have to ask a relative for it. If you have any questions please ask. | I'm an adult now and I don't want to have to ask my uncle for money from my trust. I want to be able to go to my attorney and get it from them. |
t3_22917d | relationships | Me [32 M] with my GF [33 F] Of just a Couple of Months, Trust issues due to last relationship. | Here is a bit of some back story: I was in my last relationship before this one for 8 years we where married for the last 4 years and have a three year old child together. Wife Cheated on me and we tried to reconcile and went through couples counseling and i found out the whole time we where in counseling she was cheating on me. We decided to divorce and went our separate ways.
I have now been seeing this current woman for a couple of months. She is a social butterfly. She goes out gets hit on by guys and flirts back but has not given me any reason to not trust her. I find myself not being able to fully open up about how I feel because of my trust issues. I want to know what I can do to get over my trust issues. | Last relationship wife cheated on me multiple times. Now with new girlfriend i find it hard to just trust her. What can i do to just trust her. |
t3_dx5fh | AskReddit | Dearest Reddit, I write to you asking your help. | I am a 19 year old male (6'1" 215lbs) who is a sophomore in college. My problem is that I eat unhealthy food all the time. I would like to get back into shape and have been working out regularly for the past couple of weeks but still find myself eating unhealthy. I am (as many college students are) living on a very thin wallet and call for your help. I would love if someone could lay out a weekly or biweekly menu of what I am going to eat from sunrise to sundown. So far the only thing I have is one can of tuna fish with low fat mayo and sweet pickle relish on toasted whole wheat bread and drinking 8 cups of water a day. I do not care if things are repeated or if meals are boring. I will eat exactly as the menu says and only what the menu says (all hail the menu). I would just like to start treating me body right on a reasonably low budget. I will be unable to answer any questions until I get home from class at about 2:00 PM EDT. Thanks! | Reddit, will you please tell me what to eat each day of the week so I consume the correct number of calories and have a balanced diet? |
t3_y8tk6 | offmychest | Does anyone ever feel like their past never happened? Like everything that happened before right now just isn't real? | Hey guys,
I moved to a new apartment, 3200 Km away from home on January. I was sharing that apartment with 2 housemates but they both moved out while I was taking a 2 month vacation to go see my family.
Since I came back, I've been feeling more and more alone, specially after my neighbors also went on vacation and the only interaction I have with people is when I go to my classes from 8:30am to 12:30. Other than that my life feels replete with solitude.
9 months ago I was going out with my best friends, getting drunk and partying at least twice a week. Today, I live in a kinda big but spread out city and I barely know anyone my age. It was a really rough change. I stopped doing many of the things I was used to overnight. Everything was so drastic that I don't feel like anything like that ever happened, and that's what I'm trying to express here. I feel like my past is just made up. Nothing ever really happened when I was 10. Nothing really happened when I was 14, 15, 16 and 17. Nothing happened 9 months ago. The event I went to this Saturday never really existed. Yesterday is something I made up.
I feel like I'm going crazy. Every time a memory about anything comes to my mind I feel like I'm just making it up. Like if it were one of those movies where the main character has made up a fake life and then suddenly becomes lucid and notices how what he thought was real is actually fake. But then again I know it's not fake because I'm frequently contacting some of those friends I used to hang out with and most of my family. There are pictures and videos. I have scars from when I hit that tree while riding my bike 4 months ago. Everything has evidence of being real, but it just doesn't feel like it.
Anyways, I really hope that when my new housemates come back I'll be able to think normally again and accept the past as something that did really exist and not something I just made up. I feel like this is one of those "it's your brain just blocking what you dont want to remember" things. | My life-style changed drastically and I started to feel like what happened before that change never happened. It has developed to a point where I doubt on the existence of a yesterday. |
t3_1ak05h | loseit | Eating either too much, or too little... Can't seem to change! | I've been on and off diets since I was 10 years old (almost 9 years). My highest weight was 195lbs, my lowest 145lbs (from extreme dieting and working out constantly) and right now I sit at about 150.
The thing I've noticed is that I can only stick to a diet for more than 3 days if I'm DRASTICALLY cutting back my calories. Like, to under 300. If I eat more than that, then I binge and end up eating usually over 3000. I can't stop.
Has anybody else had this problem and combatted it? I was eating under 300 calories for 4 days, then one day I tried to have 1200, and ended up having about 3500. Now I'm back to eating very little.
I don't feel hungry when I have little, cause I eat a lot of the right stuff. And I feel like I don't need food! I don't know if it's working, because I don't have a scale, but I feel lighter. | Either I eat a few hundres calories, or upwards of 3000 in a day. Wondering if there's anyway to stop this. |
t3_2uff17 | relationships | Is my gf[17F] of 3 months not loving me[18M] anymore? | I know some of you guys will say "it is the youth it will pass as you grow, you are too young" etc. but here is my problem: She never calls me through the day, she never includes me in plans. She goes out and drinks coffee and hangs out with her other friends almost everyday but when it comes to us, I am always the first one to ask to go somewhere together, I am the first to make plans. When it was her birthday, i got drunk the day before and she told me to "rest" at home while she celebrates her birthday with her friends. I am currently getting prepared for uni exam so i can't pay attention to her not as much as i would like to. But i care about her and told her so. I asked her if anything is wrong or if she is upset with me but she gives me escapy answers like "we will talk later". How to " regenerate" our relationship or is there no hope? | I think gf lost interest in me or she never had. What to do? Move on or try to recover? |
t3_3oldx7 | tifu | TIFU by procrastinating | As of now I am in school writing this up, so here's a little story.
For the past 2 weeks my spanish teacher told us to complete an assignment were we had to record ourselves and talk about ourselves. It seems really short and easy to do, and of course I don't have mine done on the due date. I had this beautiful idea of what I should do but that would be too long and too much work (most of the videos were around 25 seconds). So here it is... the three day weekend of failure. The weekend is here and I am procrastinating and doing everything BUT complete a 25 second video, and I just forgot about it. Monday morning, I wake up to my brother completing his video and I simply walk past him... ugh. Nothing came to my mind like "OH, maybe I should do my video!" NOPE! Tuesday morning -- I wake up and remember the video is due today, I plan to complete it during the morning but time is insufficient. Now, 10:00 am, writing this. My spanish class is 6th period, currently in 3rd and 6th period is around 1:05 pm. HELP! I am going to die, and we have to present our videos FML and my procrastination habits... | I procrastinated and never completed my spanish video about talking about ourselves, it is due today and yet... I am procrastinating again. |
t3_1u4rwo | relationships | Me [28 M] broken up with my [25 F] 18 months, is it weird to want to post pictures (10k+) on fb of our past adventures? | So met this girl, and we both quit our jobs and left for asia. Travelled all over and had some awesome wanderlust. Accrued like 10k pictures and videos over the next year and then came back state side and had another 8 months of adventures.
we break up, never meant to be, trouble is.... with the new year is coming and i want to post pics of my last 1.5 years on fb. FB has been my life scrap book for the past 2 years.
its hard to tell my journey without her in it.
PLOT twist: i am also involved/interested in a new girl and she has made it clear that she doesnt appreciate old ex's photos in albums.
I want to publish my story because i think its something worth sharing, and something i will only treasure. i dont discount the fact i may not be 100% over her, but i think its more due to my life change that i attribute mainly to her. she was my manic pixie dream girl. | dated a girl for almost 2 years traveled the world and had adventures till we broke up, is it weird to post our pictures on fb that detail my/our journey? |
t3_3po8an | relationships | My [18 M] broke up with me [17 F] after 9 months, because he's leaving for Navy bootcamp in less than a month. Heartbroken. | So, the whole military thing, I pretty much knew what I was getting into when we started dating, but I always expected we would try to stick it out together. I've never felt so strongly for anyone before, which is probably why I've spent every day for the past two weeks just listening to sad songs and crying my eyes out.
He told me he's really worried of what to expect when he gets to bootcamp and "wasn't sure if he wanted to do it all while in a relationship" which just leads me to believe I'm not worth the effort. I would wait for him, but it seems like he doesn't want me to? We had a good relationship for the most part, and when we did fight it was largely because of my depression which he was never able to fully comprehend.
He isn't too sure of what he wants regarding us, which makes me feel even worse somehow. Shouldn't you do anything to be with the one you "love", no matter how hard it is? He even suggested we could be "advanced friends" meaning we could still act like we were dating, but without all the emotional commitment. Part of me knows it's wrong and I shouldn't settle for it, but I just really miss his goofy smile and the way his arms felt around me..
I feel like I care about him way more now than he cares about me and all my friends tell me to just move on and forget him, but he was my first love and changed my whole life. I don't think I'll ever get over him, let alone stop loving him. Maybe he deserves better than me, but I can't bare to even entertain the thought of him with someone else. | Boyfriend broke up with me because he's unsure of the Navy, our relationship, and long distance but I'm still absolutely in love with him. |
t3_1h8wub | relationships | My boyfriend (20) broke up with me (22) last night for his ex (18). Anyone else had this happen to them? | When we first got together earlier this year, it was under a mutual understanding that we were both getting over our exes. We ended up totally falling for each other. The only difference was that while me falling in love with him meant that I felt comfortable enough to move on from my ex, him falling in love with me meant that his ex would stay an ex, and he wasn't ready for that. We talked it out, and we are on good terms. He's lucky that I'm ridiculously understanding, having been with someone for almost five years and not wanting to give hope that it would work out up.
He broke up with her when he was 18 and graduating high school, and hasn't really had successful relationships until me because of this ex and his feelings for her. She just broke up with her boyfriend of a year and a half, with whom she had gotten a promise ring from about a month ago. He's always regretted his decision to break up with her, but has never been able to convince her to try again. Now, she wants to.
I'm extremely upset and hurt, and I just wanted to post in here to see how many other people have been in this situation, as either the one who was broken up with for someone else, the one who was the ex they went back to, or who has broken up with someone for someone else. | My ex broke up with me for his ex, and I'm wondering who else this has happened to, and what was the outcome. |
t3_s2mhq | AskReddit | Dealing with Dad | My dad and I have a strange relationship. We exchange gifts on major holidays by dropping them at each others houses when no one's home, but avoid seeing or speaking to each other entirely. It's been like this for 3 years, since a falling out we had that resulted in himkicking me out of his house.
We've had issues; I don't much like his personality, but he has always cared for me as his kid, even though he's said just as many awful hateful things as kind and loving ones. The man has some internal issues himself.
Easter morning I got an email from him asking to take my boyfriend and I out to lunch for my upcoming birthday. I'm not really interested in having a relationship with this man unless we tackle the issues that have been keeping us apart. However, I'm sort of at a loss for words to respond! No matter what I say he seems to twist it up, and I'm worried I might not be seeing all of the possible outcomes of this.
I'm usually pretty good with words, but I'm suddenly in a tizzy with no clue what to say. Suggestions, Reddit? What outcomes/insights/advice am I too emotional to remember on my own right now? This is a precarious situation, that will likely be a turning point for a major relationship in my life. | my dads kind of a jerk, said some awful things, and kicked me out 3 years ago. Now he suddenly wants to take me out to lunch, but I'm not willing to brush everything under the rug. |
t3_qolvy | AskReddit | Reddit, my girlfriend and I, have made plans to have sex for the first time. | We both live with our parents and don't have time by ourselves, so we haven't had the chance in the year that we have been together to do the nasty.
Her parents are going on vacation for the weekend tomorrow and we have made plans to have our own little sleep over at their house. Sounds like a perfect opportunity for us to finally get busy. But not only am I nervous for my performance I still have a gnawing feeling in the back of my mind that we are risking a lot. I completely respect her and her parents and don't want to disappoint both.
I'm nervous also that some family member of theirs will randomly show up and catch us.
So reedit should I partake of this glorious opportunity or should I not? | girlfriends parents are out of town and I'm nervous to do the dirty deed on many levels. Go forth or stay put? |
t3_2458c8 | relationships | My [19/F] boyfriend [18/M] won't believe he deserves me | I'm using a throwaway, my bf goes on r/relationships a lot. We have an awesome relationship, and I know I love him a lot and want to spend a lot of my time with him. The only problem is his shockingly low self esteem.
First I want to give a little background on us. We've been together for about 6 months, but before that we were best friends from about 16. I've had other boyfriends and one serious (3 year) relationship before him. He's had one serious relationship (1 year) but it was very emotionally manipulative and hurt him quite badly.
So my problem is that he has the lowest self-esteem and doesn't feel like he should be with my because I am too far out of his league. He constantly is saying that he doesn't deserve me and he feels like he should be with someone else because with me he feels like I'm going to leave him at any second for someone better looking or with a better body.
I have tried my hardest to make him see that I do find him so sexy and his personality is amazing but he just won't believe it. I've tried talking to him, leaving him little notes, but nothing works. Whenever I compliment him he either ignores it or denies it, and when he is paying me a compliment he says it in a way which is more self-deprecating to him than it is complimentary to me.
So my question is - how can I make him see how special he is to me? What can I do for him so that he doesn't think I'm going to up and leave with some random guy? | Boyfriend doesn't think he deserves me, but he makes me so happy and I'm not going anywhere. How can I make him see this? |
t3_e3wnr | travel | How does one prepare for/plan a solo trip around the world? | Hi guys,
I am a 19yr old student, and I will be graduating in a little under 2 years. I have always wanted to take a solo trip to many places around the world, because I love traveling and I want to see the world before I start my career life.
There are SO many places I want to visit. But I have no idea how much time to allocate for this, what kind of budget I should expect, and how to plan/prepare for it. Can anyone advise a nub on this? I have some basic ideas from what I've read on the internet (lots of solo travel blogs and other stuff), and I would really like to bring a camera so I can document my tavels.
Planning this is definitely going to be quite the task but I want to start now. | how can I best plan a trip around the globe? Should I just select places I want to see and connect the dots? |
t3_29xmvu | relationships | My GF[18F] is being very secretive with her phone. What should I do? Me [22M] | So my GF of 3.5months is recently being very secretive with her phone. On top of that she has changed the password to her phone which I just found out.
Now, the reason I'm coming here is because she wasn't like this before. She used to hand me her phone for safekeeping as she doesn't have pockets for it sometimes. But now she never leaves her phone behind unless the battery Is dead.
We met through a "dating" site, which people use to look for friends or just fuckbuddies or relationships and dates. And she started using that again to talk to people. In the beginning I was pretty annoyed by this, and we've talked about it. She has put in her info that she has a boyfriend, and she tells guys that tries stuff anyway (or so she tells me she does).
What annoys me the most is that she switched from being somewhat open with her phone, to almost killing someone that touches it and even though I trust her, it's hard. I'm open with my phone and she can look at anything I do on it.
Anyway. I've brought all this up with her and when I did she told me I don't trust her, asks if she's given me a reason to be suspicious etc. She has told me that I'm the only one for her and that I should just trust her "as it takes two to cheat".
As a guy, obviously I know what guys are after on that website. I try not to compare the guys hitting on her there like if it was out somewhere in front of me because that's what it feels like.
I love her to death, but this is simultaneously annoying me, as well as it doesn't. I don't know how to explain it.
I want her to be open with her phone to me, like I am to her. | girlfriend is very secretive with her phone and is on a dating site chatting again. What do you think about this? Being secretive with your phone? Should I do something about it? What should I do? |
t3_wyk3a | AskReddit | This has probably been asked before.. But Reddit... What's the most embarrassing thing you've done in front of a gf/bf/ex? | Well here's my story. Me and my mother had been looking for apartment to rent. I was also dating this guy who lived in Oklahoma (I live in Texas) Not that far away, but far enough to be long distance for sure. I have never met him, but I was sure this was my love of my life.
I begged him to come to Texas for a couple weeks for my Junior Prom, he was reluctant, considering he had no job, (I know how to pick winners, huh?) but I finally convinced him. Well we found a duplex about a week before he came to visit, so when he came, we didn't have much.
Me and my mother went and picked him up, and my adrenaline does weird things to my body. I was shaking like a leaf and I wasn't feeling well, but I brushed it off. We came back to the house and I knew instantly I needed to go. So I excuse myself and rush to our bathroom and took the shit of my life. After about 10 minutes of pushing, I finally let it out and decide to flush before I put any toilet paper in. Well... figures out I clogged the toilet with just my turd. And having just moved in, we had no plunger. So I had to poke my head out of the bathroom door and call my mom in there and ask her to go to the store and pick up a plunger. My ex just died laughing. | I took a massive dump and clogged the toilet when my out of state bf came to visit for the first time. |
t3_494t09 | relationships | Me [28F] and my bf [26M] of 2 years. I feel like his mother! How to bring it up? | I know this is a common theme but I want a different perspective of how to approach this.
I've spent most of the day writing what I want to tell him, deleting the whole thing, trying again, deleting, repeat...
The branches from this issue have been brought up many times before, I'm not sure if he sees how the little problems as being from the same tree of mom-ness.
I know that sometimes he feels that he's not a good boyfriend when I'm upset, so I don't want to list the things he does/doesn't do that makes me feel like more of a mom than a partner but I don't know how to make the point clear without those.
Is it too harsh to bring those up or is it necessary?
I feel like an unappreciated mother when what I really need is a supportive partner. I don't see a future with him if things stay the way they are but I don't want to put that pressure on him yet and make it seem like I have no hope.
On top of that, he has a big project due this weekend and he has plans with friends tonight. He already cancelled plans he was looking forward to a few days ago because of last minute work and I don't want to bring this one down too. But the air has been tense all day. | I feel more like a mom than a partner and it's building resentment. Unsure of how to express this in a constructive way. |
t3_1af58t | relationships | My [22m] girlfriend [20f] requires a LOT of emotional support, and I am becoming less and less up to the task. What do I do? | We're both in our first successful relationship, 2 years and for the most part its been great. We went to France together, our friends think we'll have kids together someday. But she's emotional, and I am not. She requires approval, care, constant reassurances about my love, lots of shoulders to cry on and the occasional needless argument. I find myself thinking more and more about other women in my life. I know this screams "breakup is imminent", but I have no idea how to go about it.
I'm worried she'll hurt herself, or stop going to classes or something. She hasn't done anything *wrong* per se, I'm just drifting away. I've even started finding excuses not to have sex with her, and I'm frikkin *twenty-two*.
I don't want to hurt her. I'd love to stay friends. I don't want to find out which of our mutual friends are "hers" and which are "mine." I don't want all the sympathy texts and messages I'll get from friends about "losing her." I just want to give her a hug and say we should see other people and she'll get a little sad and say okay and find a great guy and get the emotional support she needs. I also want a lightsaber, but some things just aren't possible. | 22yo male is about to go through his first REAL breakup with a 20yo female who does NOT want to break up. HALP! |
t3_mbzky | BreakUps | I want the best outcome for both of us. | I am 16 (m) and she is 14 (f). I would prefer if you would keep to yourselves coments about our young age, unless you really believe it has to do with the solution. We had a 11 month relationship until she broke up with me and asked for a frienship. I tried it, but I end begging for her to take me back all the time.
During those tries, in the last ones, she told me she doesn't love me and she doesn't want me back in any way other than a friendship. She told me she loves me, but as a friend and not in the way as she did, when we had a relationship.
I love her very much, but I see that she wouldn't be happy with me and I can't make her want to love me back if she doesn't want to. I need help on how to end this without a friendship, because I do get hurt from the constant rejection and get confused because she talks to me everyday, wants to be with me, wants to be friends, wants to keep the deepness, the same confidence, trust and care I just can't give that to her without trying to give her love in the process.
I want to do as most nicely and most respectfully end the friendship, because I think it is the best for both of us (clarify me if you think I might be wrong). I love her with all of my heart, but she only wants a friendship and I don't think I can go on with the pain. Please help me. | She wants to be friends and have the exact things we had in our relationship, without feeling love and I can't handle it. I want to cut all loose ends and go along our separate ways completely. |
t3_1qp8pc | AskReddit | I had a dream about a girl I like. What does it mean? | Cross post with r/askreddit and r/dreams
I had a weird dream about a girl I like. Not much really happened, but it sure left me feeling weird when I woke up. Essentially, it consisted of me being in what I think are multiple class rooms, and I'm trying to talk to this girl (we'll call her Kate). I'm trying to talk to her, and I get snippets of conversations in, but she ultimately talks to other people surrounding her. There were other surreal things going on (as this IS a dream) but the overall feel of it was me trying to talk to her, and I can't get a real conversation going because she is usually doing something else.
I have no problem linking this to real life. At school, I have no classes with her, but we have the same lunch period. I always say "Hi" to her when I pass her, and on the rare occasions when I see her alone, whether it be walking to class, or waiting for someone, I strike up a short conversation with her before she has to go. The part of the dream that shows me trying to talk to her could be me always just saying "Hi" when I pass her, and waiting for her to be alone to talk deeper with her. We have gone skating once last year, but since then, she's always been busy. I don't think she's avoiding me, because her excuses are legitimate. She plays sports, and on the day of my birthday, she had a game, and couldn't come. I could tell that she wanted to come though. In real life, this annoys me, but in my dream, I felt lonely, and like she was really far away. I don't really have a huge crush on her, I just want to get to know her. What are your thoughts? | I had a dream about trying to talk to my crush, but kept failing to hold a long conversation, which is also what happens IRL. |
t3_435u6i | relationships | My[23F] husband[28M],married for 3 years,is always worried that I'll cheat on him so he buys me expensive gifts. | My husbands ex wife cheated on him out of nowhere 3 years into their marriage(they had been dating since high school). She cheated on him in their own apartment, sometime while he was home asleep she would sneak someone into the guest room.
The girl he dated after their divorce left him after a few months because she found someone that made more money.
Because of this he spoils me in an attempt to keep me. I've told him so many times that I love him and would never leave him.
He had a car accident recently and can't work for a few weeks, which means not getting paid for a little bit. This had made him even more paranoid since he won't have the spare cash to buy me things.
What's the best way to get my point across that he doesn't have to buy me things to get me to stay and that I won't cheat on him. | My husbands ex cheated and he's paranoid that I'll do the same so he spoils me. He thinks if he doesn't buy me stuff I'll cheat/leave. |
t3_1qbbml | relationships | My heart is breaking. Im 33f hes 35m | Ive been with SO for 2yrs. We have blended family. I have 14 and 9 daughters. their father is 100% gone and dead beat. My SO has a 4yr daughter we get every other week. My 9yr is 100% disabled and will live with me forever. 14 recently tried to kill herself and is in a behavior hospital newly dx with bipolar. Since she was 10 we started having issues. Shes had an eating disorder off and on but now its full blone since hospital.
Me and my SO have disagreed on parenting a lot. I feel hes to hard and he feels im too soft. My oldest hates him. It was me and her for 12 yrs and the jealousy from having to share me has been hard. Shes not extreme in her behavior issues towards others shes a threat to herself. Its gonna be a long road.
In bed a few nights ago I told him life is going to be hard for the next few years. I have 1 disabled child and now another "special needs" child. I told him if he wanted to dodge a bullet he could. I love him enough to let him go. He replied with "its gonna be hard"
Days later something changed in him. He got cold. Mean. Criticizing everything I dont do and do. I visit her every weekend. We eat dinner wirh his brother and wife every weekend. He was so mad that I was going to see my daughter. "Shes ruined shit before and now shes ruining shit now" (keep in mind i stuck with him and supported him during an ugly custody/child support battle. His ex caused so much hell and I stuck by his side) I cant tell if hes picking fights to end it or what. Im stuck in a personal hell. My kid tried to kill herself, my youngest is mentally retarded and in a wheelchair, my SO is distancing and I feel is running. | my SO is putting a wall up and abandoning me emotionally during a crisis. Hes extremely cold and has no empathy. Im spiraling and my hearts breaking. How do I save this relationship and get him back to supporting me? |
t3_245zgz | relationships | Me [30m] with my GF [32F] 2.5 years, ready to be done with this relationship and need to break up with her. | I'm in a relationship that I dread coming home to every day, I know everything I do and don't do is kept count of. When I try to help out around the house I'm nagged at for not doing it right, when I leave it up to her she points out how much more she does than me. She hates my job, my friends, and my hobbies. She tolerates my family and despises her own family.
We share little in common other than we were both attracted to each other and now that we live together the being together everyday has become hell. I have been in long term serious relationships before and I genuinely thought this was going to be a great one when we moved in together after seeing each other for about 9 months. Since then it's he it's ups and downs but lately it's just down.
We rarely have sex, when we do it's less satisfying than masturbating and way more work, she's never really into it and this kills me mainly because I believe in giving and receiving when it comes to sex. I have posted other threads about the lame sex... Sorry not lame but bad sex.
Even talking about it hasn't helped the situation and if anything it's made it worse.
I'm at the point where I don't want to talk to her at all, I just want her to take the dog and go. Or I'll go either way I need to be done, I spend so much time worrying about what I'm gonna do wrong next that it drives me crazy.
Since we still live together I don't know how to handle this, only one other breakup I've had involved cohabiting and we split while moving so it panned out. This time we share everything from the furniture, bed, dishes, tv, etc. How do I end this? determine who keeps the apartment? Split up our stuff? I need some advice, some wisdom, and a little push to make sure I don't lose my nerve. I don't want to let this continue any longer. Any help is greatly appreciated. | All in all I need out of this relationship, I'm ready to pull the plug, I just need to know how to do this since we still live together and have shared expenses, furniture, and dog. |
t3_hrf06 | AskReddit | A "friendly" dispute | A little bit of a back story: I had thought that a friend was incorrect in some of his statements and beliefs, so I attempted to correct him. When the issue was brought up enough times this friend had told me that he felt I was trying to change him and that I should accept him as he is. We had a discussion about this and both had thought that we had come to an agreement and let it be.
After a couple weeks we begin another discussion which I believe I need to assert my beliefs and attempt to correct my friend. He believes that "black people" only applies to African-American or African people, I believe that the term "black people" applies to anyone who is of darker or black skin color (I try not to use any type of labels at any time and am in agreeance with Morgan Freeman, but for the sake of discussion will try to adhere to certain terms or references as long as they are not offending). During the discussion I try to correct my friend and he brings up the point that I am trying to change him, in which I do not believe I am trying to change him but rather come to a agreeable middle ground. My friend and I get so deep into discussion that I believe we move off topic and become focused on beliefs rather than the topic at hand. We come to a stalemate and I leave.
I want to be friends with this person and hope that we can both come to an agreement, but we left each others presence on a bad note and I do not feel as though I can see or talk to him without some kind of dispute.
I would like to know who feels as though I was in the right or the wrong. I am open to any sides of the debate and if there is any clarification needed I will attempt to provide it.
Thank you ahead of time for taking the time to read or respond to this post. | Got into a debate/argument with a friend, I believe I am right and he believes he is right. I want to settle the dispute or come to an understanding. -Thanks |
t3_508wci | relationships | Studying Abroad and think I fell in love help! 20M with 19F | Okay so I just turned 20 (M) and am studying abroad the fall semester of my junior year in Ecuador. I met a girl who is also the same semester as me who is 19 and I have very strong feelings for her and the feeling is mutual. I have never felt something like this in my entire life she feels the same.
The problem is I only have four months left here then I go back to the U.S. while she stays here in Ecuador. The thought of this relationship really scares me and I have never felt like this with anyone. I do not know what to do. | Studying abroad for a semester, fell in love, 4 months left until countries separate us, scared what to do. |
t3_3zkiar | relationships | I [27M] am having second thoughts about following my [24F] girlfriend to out-of-state grad school, and it's putting a strain on our relationship. | I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years and it has been fantastic almost every step of the way. I knew from the start that she planned on going to Grad school, and I told her that I wouldn't mind following her to an out of state school because I didn't have a whole lot going for me in our current city. She has had a goal of getting into the higher levels of academia for most of her life, and I pretty much decided that I don't want to go to school anymore after earning my bachelor's degree.
However, in the past 6 months I have gone from making 20k to 70k a year, and I am slated to continue moving up in my company at a pretty rapid rate. I have totally eliminated my debt, I'm meeting many of my financial goals, and I have never been more financially secure. My newfound financial situation is making me re-evaluate leaving my city to follow her to an unknown city to start over.
I don't want to hold her back from her aspirations, but I feel like leaving my current job to follow her to grad school would be an enormous mistake. While anything is possible, I cannot see myself finding a similar opportunity anywhere (my cost of living is super low.)
I deal with most problems head on, and I have played out how the next year will unfold in a variety of different ways. Any attempt to discuss the topic usually results in her crying and being in a slump for the rest of the week. She is starting to buckle to me, and it makes me upset. She is considering giving up grad school to stay with me, while I had been mentally preparing to break up with her while easing her into the idea that we might not be together in 8 months since our aspirations are starting to diverge.
I don't want her to abandon her goals for me, and I feel like we are great together, but I also want to be realistic. Should I just break up with her to encourage her to go to grad school and beyond or should I let her give up on her goals to stay with me? Is there a serious threat of future resentment? | gf of 3 years wants to go to grad school and my circumstances have improved so that I don't want to follow her. She is considering abandoning her dreams to stay with me, what should I do? |
t3_1emyvq | relationships | What should I[22m] talk to her[20f] about when considering a long distance relationship? | I've known this girl for about three months now and the only reason I haven't made her my girlfriend is because I knew she was moving two hours away but we've become really close and it's basically like we're dating now. She'll be moving really soon(but coming back in the fall) and we're considering a long distance relationship but we kind of always avoid talking about it since we're so unsure of what'll happen.
I've grown to trust her a lot more, but I still feel insecure about the fact that she'll be in a different city and that I'll only be seeing her every other weekend. We're both really attached so it's hard to just forget about each other but I'm not sure if that's enough reason to rush into a relationship with her. She's honestly all I can think of now and I really want this to work out but I realize it has the potential to not work out.
What are some things I should definitely be talking with her about before committing to the long distance relationship? I'm really new to relationships so any advice will be useful. | Girl is moving two hours away for the summer, considering asking her since we've become so attached, need to make sure I ask the right things before committing to a long distance relationship. |
t3_3083sg | personalfinance | Have to move out but contracted work living in the bay area | Hi guys so I'm working as contractor till sept. Its a 6 month contract where I make $75/hour fulltime. I go through a third party company to receive a w2 rather than a 1099. So where normally I'd make $3000 a week I make $1800. Seems all great but now I'm in a situation where I have to move out within the next month. The problem for me is that I work in the bay area. Decent rentals can go from 1700 to 2500 for a 1bed1bath. House prices are crazy. I need help deciding what to do. I dont know if I'll be at the company after 6 months. No luck getting fulltime work. Just great paying contracts randomly. I also have very little savings since I live feast or famine. Thanks everyone hope you all can help. | With a 6 month contract and no guaranteed work after what should I do with my money and living situation since I need to move out. |
t3_1m0aih | relationships | Me[18M/F] with my ___ [18M/F] duration, short-description | My (M18) girlfriend (F17) and I dated for 10 months but broke up recently. She is a senior in high school while I'm in college (2 hours away) and this strained the relationship. She was also very depressed and it made me really depressed and our relationship was just not good for the past week or two. College made it really hard.
We broke up but I didn't want to, she was sad and I was sad so I thought ending it might help but it only made it worse. If we both still love each other should we get back together or was it a sign of bad things to come. Should I wait a week and see how I feel.
I just miss her already and regret the breakup but I don't know what to do. I am now addicted to ketamine and cigarettes because of the last week or two of the relationship so it was a pretty bad week.
I would LOVE some outside perspective on this situation. Thank you! | Dated girlfriend for 10 months but during first 2 weeks of college relationship got really shitty and we both got really depressed. So we broke up but didnt really want to should we get back together if we both love each other still? |
t3_h5ehp | relationships | Hey, I need some dating advice: | I'm a guy in my mid 20s, and I met this cute girl (about 19-20) at a party a couple weekends ago. Her and I were both training to be teachers, and we hit it off pretty quick. When she went to go, I said "Hey, it was great meeting you! We should get together sometime, have coffee or something? We should facebook or text?" She gave me her full name, and I waited a couple days and added her.
I sent her this message "It was cool to meet you on saturday night :) Wondered if you'd like to grab a coffee sometime? My number is xxx-xxxxxxx, drop me a text."
I haven't heard from her since, and I figured that she just wasn't interested. Yesterday, I found out through my friend who works with her friend, that she's been agonizing over what to reply to me, and was worried if it was just to discuss more teaching or to hang out or...something else like a date. My friend set her friend straight, saying that if anything, the teacher thing was just an excuse to get together.
I'm new at asking out girls I don't know, so I wanted some advice: Now that I know she's not just ignoring me, but is actually agonizing over replying to me, is it worth me casually following up and directly-asking her out?
Note: my friend didn't initiate the conversation at work, the girls' friend brought it up. Also, sorry for the long-ish text! | Hit it off with a girl at a party, no reply from message, turns out she's been agonizing over replying. Now that I know, do I initiate further contact or just drop it? |
t3_2az9l3 | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 1.5 years, going to university together is driving us apart. | I need advice right now. We moved in together a month after dating and all was going well, until he went back to school (I was already in school).
I am very happy he wants to do well. He is very driven and spends literally all day at school or doing homework. He is extremely uptight over school and gets straight A's, but I feel like he is slightly obsessive over doing everything perfect. For example, last week he cried to me and our professor because he got a B and not an A on a small paper and he prays every night (only)to get As in school.
The problem is that I feel like I am suffocating. I feel like I am supporting him in his academic endeavors but like this is not conducive to a healthy relationship. He is rarely at home, spending time with me and when he is at home he complains I don't give him enough alone time. This morning, I wanted to have breakfast together and hang out and he said he needed to go to school, and left me crying at home. Like, I was crying and he said Bye! enthusiastically and left.
Am I being selfish? Should I expect him to spend time with me, or come to terms with the fact that he can put our relationship on the backburner for the next few years? He said this morning he could turn off our relationship just like this *snaps fingers* and that he did not want to deal with my emotions, because they will distract him from school. I also want to do well in school and I also achieve As but I am not this uptight about it.
I have told him I want to spend the rest of my life with him but I feel like I did not know all sides of his personality before expressing this. I feel if I leave this relationship I won't find another special person like he is to me. | Boyfriend is school-obsessed, thinks I am distracting him/puts me down, don't know what to do/how to move out. |
t3_32dpej | relationships | I [22 M] am madly in love with my close friend's [22 M] girlfriend [22 F]. | I've known my friend since high school and we've been good friends since then. We both met this girl during first year of university and she soon joined our mutual group of friends. I didn't really have feelings for her until recently, but my friend seemed to have the same feelings first and asked her out before I did. We still spend a lot of time together but it's getting harder and harder for me to ignore my feelings. I have a feeling that she may be interested in me too, but that could just be because we've spent so much time knowing each other already. I'm not sure what I can do to resolve this and make sure everyone is happy. Obviously I treasure my friendship with both of my friends and want a solution that can satisfy everyone, but I feel like my choices are either: stop seeing and communicating with my friends for a period and hope my romantic feelings for her subsides, or tell her I have feelings for her and see how she will react. I really don't want to mess up our friendships up so I'm trying to avoid the second option. Perhaps reddit can provide some insight on my options? | deeply in love with one of my close friend's girlfriend, who is our mutual close friend, want a solution that hurts everyone the least. |
t3_4x0b9q | relationships | My girlfriend [28F] of a year likes to call me [28F] on the phone on nights we're not together, but I don't like speaking on the phone. | So, my girlfriend and I have been dating for a while and are about to move in together next month. I'm excited to share a home with her, but in the interim, she calls me before she goes to bed. Its an incredibly sweet thing to do, but I'm just not that keen on talking on the phone and so I find it kind of awkward and uncomfortable.
She's also very chatty and loves to talk, which, when we are together, I love, but if it was a particularly mundane day and she calls, I just don't have anything to say. I feel like I'm letting her down or she thinks perhaps I don't care to talk to her, which of course is not true. I'm just not one for small talk, which I feel like phone conversations naturally lean toward being.
Anyway, she's leaving on a business trip next month and will be on the road for a few weeks. This means there will be lots of phone time. How do I have a conversation with her about my problem? What are/are there ways I can become more comfortable with phone conversations/help them not be meandering/seemingly pointless? | Girlfriend likes talking on the phone when we're apart. I don't like phone convos. How do I talk to her about an upcoming long time apart? |
t3_2h1zp6 | relationships | My [23F] SO [27M] hits my cat every time they misbehave. | We've been together for 5 years and have lived together for 4. We've had cat 1 cat for 3 years and about a year ago we got our 2nd cat (Hazel). Hazel has some behavioral issues and they have slowly became issues in our relationship.
Whenever she scratches the rug, bites at the couch, goes into the kitchen or any other thing she isn't supposed to do - my bf hits her as a way to punish her.
I've told him many times before that I find it abusive and I want him to stop. Every time I bring it up we get into an argument with him saying that's the only way to punish them for bad behavior. I've told him that I think it's reflective of who he is as a person, and if he thinks it's okay to abuse animals then we shouldn't have them. To which he argues that he's invested too much money in to them to give them away.
I'm not sure what do anymore about it. Over all he's a really great guy; he never cusses at me, always supportive of my life choices, always lends a shoulder to cry on, and many other great attributes. So it's not like he's some bad guy. He just doesn't seem to understand that animals should be treated with respect as well.
Has anyone else had this problem, and how did you go about fixing it? | My bf hits my cat every time she misbehaves. He says it's the only way to punish a cat. I don't know how to make him stop. |
t3_31b8kd | relationships | I [21M] acted out in a drunk state and now my [23F] can't forgive me and can't see any future. | A few nights ago me and my other half had been arguing about one thing or another, which could have been boiled down to us being tired and fed up with work and life etc. Following an argument we decided to follow our plans and go out with my friends as they were back in my hometown for a week or so.
The night itself was enjoyable and we had a good time and got a little bit drunk until we got into an argument in a club. She was upset that I'd left her to join my friend outside for a bit and not tell her.
The argument escalated and she thought to defuse it by laughing which I took the wrong way and stormed off. She followed me and proceeded to tell me how she can't keep doing this and left, and I out of a drunken and overwhelming state punched a wall and broke my hand.
She took me to the hospital and waited al night with me but as I was still feeling a mix of emotions I didn't really comfort her, and when she left the next morning I rang my friend to come and see me. He then text my parents just letting them know what happened and where I am (including the fact I argued with my other half).
The next few days I spent in hospital having surgery and the rest or it, and arguing with my other half. Now she doesn't think there is a future between us as she thinks that my friends and family despise her and she doesn't want to be in that situation.
How do I prove to her that they do not hate her and that the situation will die out? Do I give her space? I love this woman more than anything and don't want one stupid act to ruin what we had. | Argued with girlfriend, hit a wall and broke my hand out of anger, She thinks everybody now hates her and is against her. How do I prove to her otherwise? |
t3_12105y | AskReddit | I just found out that I've been dating a Sociopath that cheated after 3 years of living together. I could give a fuck about her, but we have a puppy that she adopted. Reddit, How can I keep this puppy? | So my ex cheated on me after 3 years of dating. I have been fully financially supporting her for over a year. Rent in Boston is not cheap. We had a long talk. She was "sorry." She wanted to "work things out." I stupidly agree to give her a second chance. Today I walk in to a restaurant and see her having a date with the guy she vowed to stop talking to.This is her definition of working it out. This is the act of a true sociopath. Pure evil.
The worst thing about all of this is we have a dog together. She is the one that picked her up after we decided which puppy to get. This means that she is the one who signed the adoption papers.
I am so attached to this dog. I am the one who takes her out, takes her for walks, and play with her. I give the attention she needs. The attention she deserves. I also pay for her food and vet bills. So my question is, How do I get to keep this dog? I can't imaging losing her. | Dated a sociopath for 3 years, she cheated, is trying to take the dog. How Do I get to keep the dog. |
t3_1ovh61 | relationships | I [20F] broke up with my boyfriend [20M] of 5 years and cannot seem to get over it | I found out my ex was a heroin addict and had been hiding it for more than half of the relationship. I chose to break it off with him (3 months ago) even though we had been together for 5 years. He was a very controlling person (even though he had been partying/doing heroin behind my back and leading a double life), but I was in denial and thought he was 100% good to me while in the relationship. I am angry now, but it is extremely difficult to get over him. I don't want to be sad or angry anymore. I want to move on and reach my goals in life without these random moments of crippling sadness.
It's one thing to just say I wish the best for him and then try my best to continue on with my life and focus on school and friends. It's so difficult to completely focus on these things when I feel like he still has control over me.
So really I'm just trying to find some advice from someone who can relate. I'm young and basically became who I am while in this relationship. I'm not locking myself in my room or doing anything reckless. I'm just going out and trying to move on, but I can't get rid of this awful feeling. | I was in a relationship with a secret heroin addict, and I broke it off. I want to feel right again - want to know if anyone can relate or has advice |
t3_1lg7yq | AskReddit | have you ever been robbed/mugged/jumped? how did you get out of it or what happened | i've been jumped once. happened when i was walking home (quite drunk) with two girlfriends of mine and bumped into some dudes. long story short, one of these two guys cranked me from behind when i was walking away (after a bit of chirping) and i got knocked out, smashed my face on the sidewalk, got up, got headbutted in the face, fell down again, got up, next thing i knew there were ~10 (could be exaggerating here i was quite drunk) dudes surrounding me, pushing me, etc. all i did was push some dudes away from me, etc. thank god some of these guys friends werent that big of assholes and pulled me away and held their friends back, etc.
i've been in fights before (not a dude that gets into fights all the time at all, but it happens...) but did not throw one punch at all and was legitimately scared for me life for the first time ever.
and thats my story. | got knocked out and was surrounded by a bunch of dudes, didnt throw a punch cause iw as scared i was gonna get gang beat. |
t3_2snzxc | relationship_advice | Dealing with my[18F] boyfriend's[19M] ex girlfriend[19F] moving to our college? | I have been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now and I would say we are getting pretty serious. We can see a future together but we're also aware that we're in college so we don't look that far into it. It's been great so far but recently his ex transferred colleges and is now going to the same school as us. They dated for about a year and 2 months and he dumped her because he just lost the connection with her and couldn't see them together anymore. We started dating about 3 months after they broke up. Anyways, I've seen her on twitter and she's seen me, even followed me and started favoriting tweets and things like that and I honestly didn't care but now she's harassing me on twitter and getting all her friends to do it and I want it to stop but I don't know how I go about doing that. I feel like if she keeps up the stalking and bullying it might put a wedge between my SO and I. It's nothing wrong with him I just have major insecurities and this entire thing is throwing me for a loop. How do I make her just go away or not be so important to me? Please help. Anything would help at this point. | His ex moved to our school and now I don't know how to deal with her bullying on social media and the constant insecurity I have of her being so close. |
t3_1eqyz7 | dating_advice | I [M21] have never asked [F19] a girl out and never dated in my life. Need advice. | Even since I was in High School till now in College, I have been plagued with being photogenically good-looking, yet I was always oblivious to women's advances towards me. As well, I never knew the right words to say, as conversations flowed like gum hanging off a tree, so I'm usually brushed off as being awkward.
Recently, there's a girl in my class who's been showing interest in me, things like waving at me in the hallways, making small talk about her weekend, and glancing at me in class. I never thought much about it, until now near the end of the semester. I told myself, *fuck it*, and tried talking to her. When I initiate a conversation with her, my heart starts beating faster, my throat tightens, and words come out awkward and forced. Yet somehow, even when my sentences become muddled, we seem to hit it off and build rapport really well, even after we've only spoken a couple of times.
As well, I have a hard time trying to be myself and making her laugh, as I feel I'm trying too hard trying to impress her as my deprecating humour makes the vibe feel uncomfortable. In general, I have a hard time finding my inner funny bone.
However, I rarely get the chance to talk to her in class as the course is pretty demanding and our school semester is ending soon. I usually find her around her friends in the hallways who are all girls, but I don't want to approach her in front of her friends and make my intentions clear and embarrass her.
I haven't asked for her number as it's the most nerve wracking question ever and I easily become anxious talking to her. How should I calmly approach her at the end of the class without coming off as desperate? As well, how should I mention that I want to take her out to get some ice-cream or coffee after school? | School semester is coming close to an end, how do I approach a girl and ask for her number without coming off as desperate. As well, how should I mention asking her out for ice-cream or coffee after school? |
t3_11v6v8 | relationships | [M27] Six weeks after agreeing to be exclusive [F23] still displays as 'single' on Facebook | Throwaway yo.
I've been dating this girl exclusively for upwards of two months, and it's gone fantastically thus far. We refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, discuss our 'relationship,' spend a ton of time together, and are generally progressing quite nicely. I haven't been this happy in a long time, and I think that she's been feeling the exact same way based on what she's said and how's she acted.
However, I recently noticed that her facebook relationship status is still displayed as 'single.' Mine has never been displayed, 'cuz I don't need fools creeping on my personal life. Being a mature adult, I gently brought this to her attention and asked if she had thought to change it, if she didn't care, etc. She brushed me off and said she doesn't use facebook much at all, doesn't care about it, and cited the fact that my status wasn't displayed at all as a reason she shouldn't either. This is partially true-- she doesn't use it daily, but at least weekly, and her friends talk to her far more than she talks back. I replied that I would happily list myself as in a relationship after not listing it for years, to which she continued to deflect the conversation.
A few thoughts on the subject:
(1) Facebook is lame and people put way too much thought into it;
(2) That said, I know that dudes creeping on facebook definitely pay more attention to 'single' girls rather than obviously taken ones, or ones with nothing displayed at all;
(3) I trust this girl thus far in our relationship, but the deflection after an attempted honest conversation seems odd, especially about such an 'easy' subject.
Reddit, what does your intuition say about the situation? Should I chill the fuck out or attempt to discern a possible motive for the unusual behavior? #21stcenturyrelationshiplameness | Been in an exclusive relationship with girl for two months; won't change her FB status to something other than 'single.' Cause for alarm? |
t3_4ra8hf | relationships | Me [24 F] having trouble with my mother [50 F] moving on too fast after father's [60 M] death | My father passed away very suddenly in a car accident in October and have been having a really hard time with it. My parents had been together over 20 years and had an amazing marriage. Very loving and caring family and my father had been a great man.
I noticed a couple months ago that she was hanging around someone from their friend group a lot more. I made the idea of me being uncomfortable seeing her with a man well known. I was told that there was nothing going on with anyone even though I suspected it. Flash forward to about a month ago when she tell me she is dating this guy.
It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about them together and have been more depressed than usual the last while, oversleeping and more irritable.
I've approached the subject a couple times but it seems like a lost cause since I hear the same thing every time. "I'm not replacing your dad" and "I never expected this to happen". I have some other siblings and they all live at home, while I'm the only one to have moved out, but still find it really inappropriate to not have a sit down discussion of how we would feel about her dating. We used to have a very open communication between us.
Now they have made their relationship "facebook official" and can't even talk about it without getting really angry or upset. I know that everyone deserves to move on and be happy, but less than 6 months after, considering how sudden the death is. I feel like this is something I could never forgive her for and it's eating away at me.
Apologies very the rambling and unorganized post, it's hard to put my thoughts into words. | I [24 F] feel like my mom [50 F] is moving on too quickly after dad's [60 M] death. Any one go through anything similar, any advice and what I should do? |
t3_3u900g | relationships | How do I [19M] stop my crush [18F] from talking about guys that goes after her? | Hi /r/relationships I heard you guys are the best when it comes to this, and I'm an avid reader of this subreddit and love the responses, please help :(
The jist of it is, her and I both like each other very much. She lives really far away and I planned on going to see her this coming summer and spend time together. We planned on doing long distance as soon as we met up and I was going the distance if she was going too as well. I met her through a game, we skyped, cammed, and basically have each others back through thick and thin. Like any other friendship we've had arguments but there's always one thing about her that really just puts my chest on anxiety mode.
Problem: Maybe I care too much, or maybe it's because of the distance and I can't do anything about it but she tends to always let me know every now and again who's hitting on her, who has a crush on her and she thinks I'm totally okay with it, I'm really not. I can't confront her about this because, we've only just started talking again after a HUGE fight so.. Please, if there's anything I can do to solve or appease this situation it would be greatly appreciated.
(Forgive me for any grammar mistakes, and thank you for reading!) | Girl I have a crush on (Vice/versa) tells me about the guys at school who hits on her, and she tells me ALL about it, don't know how to reply/confront her. |
t3_27xm12 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my GF [17F] 1 Year, Long Distance, First GF Making Me Question Our Entire Relationship. | My SO and I met online 1 year ago, and we instantly clicked. We were good friends for months before we decided to get serious, and talked constantly, sometimes for 8 hours non-stop. She is my first, and only, and it makes me question whether it will last; and ultimately, if she really could be the one?
I can't stop thinking about her, and all I want to do is just be with her. I've tried to think of every reason not to be with her, but I couldn't think of any reason at all. We both have agreed on our boundaries, and haven't had any issues. We never fight, and we are very open to each other.
She's the only person who I have really opened up to; or for that matter, the only person who I enjoy being around and talking to. She really seems like someone who I could spend the rest of my life with. But what makes me question all of this, is the fact that she is the first person I've dated. I know I'm a just a young guy who is all full of hormones; and I have absolutely no clue what to do, but to rely on my instincts. I'm so confused. | She's my first GF, and we never fight. Long distance hurts, but I'm young and confused. How can I tell if this is a meaningful relationship that could go onto something more...? |
t3_37dyqf | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 6 years, Boyfriends lack of responsibility and his attitude is making me feel less atterited to him. | Me and my boyfriend just moved into an apartment together, this is our second one we have lived at with each other.
As of reticently i would say about a month or so i have noticed my boyfriend becoming less and less responsible and his attitude is just terrible. I know he has been very unreasonable for years, but its starting to effect me now.
He spends his whole weekend playing video games with his friend, and it does not bother me that he plays video games but that he refuses to go anywhere or do anything other than play video games. He wont go get groceries with me, he will never run errand with me and eating out somewhere is not even a though that crosses his mind unless we bring it back home.
Because of his lack of responsibility its making me want to be around him less, and the way he acts and how he shows no ambition on anything is making him seem not as attractive as he used to be.
He used to be so sweet, and would at least go places with me and want to do things other than spend ALL DAY ( im not kidding from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed he is playing a game, unless he is going the restroom or getting a microwaved food) I love him in all but i feel like this is starting to ruin our relationship, i mean for goodness sake i had to get him a new ID because his was old and address needed to be changed. | Boyfriend is really unreasonable, and his attitude is boring and mean. and its making me feel less attracted to him. but i do still love him. |
t3_2m0lr6 | relationships | m[17] with parents [47m-46f] | They have begun using FindMyiPhone to track wherever I go, whenever I go there. It's not that I go where I'm not supposed to or disobey them. I'll always check in with a text when I reach my destination safely. Well today I got a new phone and set up my own iCloud account which basically voided their ability to track me, and they almost literally went off on me for it until I found out how to turn it back on again. I've always followed the rules and I don't understand why this is such a big deal when i've always been upfront with them. | NSA parents track me constantly, I don't know why they feel the need to. I also feel as though my trust means nothing to them |
t3_utzx5 | relationship_advice | [20/m] I have had sex, my girlfriend (22/f) has not and is starting to cause problems. | title is a pretty solid summary.
I was in a short relationship before college that got serious way too fast. about 3 months in, we were fooling around and things were heating up to a new degree when she suggested we have sex, adding "I have condoms here." I, being a horny 18 year old idiot agreed, even though I had been holding out to this point for a solid, committed relationship. We did it once, it was awful, and shortly afterward I left for college and the whole thing fell apart. I am now determined to not let stupidity get the better of me again, and am once again waiting for that solid relationship before having sex.
Cut to now. I've been with an amazing girl for a little over a year now. She's smart, funny, capable, and beautiful. We've had arguments, large and small, but so far we've worked everything out and for the last 5 months things have been great, Except for the aforementioned issue. She's fooled around and given and received oral, but she's waiting for a stable, committed relationship, as I am, for sex.
So for everything leading up that, we've been great together, both publicly and privately, and lately, sex is beginning to come up a lot in private conversation. We were both clear up front about our intentions in that respect, and she knows my very limited history. I feel good enough about this relationship that I'm ready when she is, and I have good reason to believe she's nearly ready herself.
During a conversation today, things turned back to that topic, and after some hesitation, she informed me that every time she thinks about sex with me, it starts out good thoughts, but then turns to thinking that it wouldn't be as good as it was with the first girl, even though she knows everything I described in the first blurb here.
So my question then is this: is there any way I can reassure her that this wouldn't be the case, and that my previous experience won't affect our relationship if we have sex?
Sorry for the length, but I wasn't sure how to make the situation clear with less text. | I've had sex before, girlfriend of one year hasn't. She's worried it'll be worse with her and damage our relationship. |
t3_12ttbp | relationships | Me (m19) cheated 7 months ago on my GF (F19), I came clean, cut ties with the girl and managed to salvage my relationship. Has anyone else had an experience with cheating but the relationship still went well in the end? | Throwaway for this.
As in the title I M19, cheated on my girlfriend of 2 years, 6 months ago. The cheating only consisted of a kiss whilst extremely drunk with my flat mate of the time. The next day (when I remembered what happened) I came clean about it all. It was a rough few weeks but we managed to get back to normal and everything has been fantastic as ever since the incident.
Trouble is the topic of my indiscretion has popped up a couple times since it happened, its never been an argument just clearly a sad topic for her, so clearly she hasn't completely moved past it and heck neither have I. Let me just make it clear I would do ANYTHING to fix what I did, I didn't know I could feel this guilty about something. I know there is no fix and that if I want everything to keep progressing forward I just need to be the best I can be and hope the trust comes back.
Anyway my question really is whether anyone has been through similar experiences of unintended cheating and still managed to continue to have a great relationship? or been on the other side of the cheating but managed to find the trust again? or is the relationship forever scarred?
Hopefully this all made sense, was feeling kinda ranty. | I (M19) cheated on my GF (F19) 6 months ago. I came clean and managed to get the relationship back on tracks, will everything work out or do these things always haunt a relationship? |
t3_24fhzw | relationship_advice | Friendzoning? 23/F looking to friendzone "boyfriend" without hurting his feelings | Last night there was a problem. I wanted him to go home, and kept hinting (~10 times) that I was sleepy and wanted to call it a night, but he froze up and laid down on the floor with his eyes closed, refusing to leave.
He had trouble communicating his feelings but he managed to say there's "love in his chest" when he's around me.
He knows I don't feel the same way. He didn't want to leave until we could hug and be close, and cuddle. I didn't feel like cuddling.. so I kept a far distance and kept "playfully" pushing him away when he tried to come close to hold me.
This went on for 2 HOURS! I was getting so tired of him missing my hints. Eventually, by attrition, I invited him to spend the night.
We made out, which made me feel suffocated, as if I was doing it for him. When we started grinding I just stood up and stopped, opened the window and let fresh air in. I felt grimy. I'm indifferent to having sex with him.. I do like him, and there is chemistry when we're in the moment, but I just feel so grimy afterwards. We've been friends since childhood. | I need to feel childlike to be happy. Sex with him makes me sad. How do I KINDLY friendzone him? |
t3_432nwt | relationships | We [F20] [M19] met in a psych ward.. | Morning reddit! I'm hoping you guys can shine some light on my issue?
Ill start by telling you guys I attend a day hospital in a ward for mental illness. I'm there from 7am till 7pm every week day, I suffer from EUPD, bulimia, depression and minor psychotic tendencies. (It will all be relevant later I promise!)
On my second day attending the ward I met this guy (we'll call him yoshi) we clicked instantly and spent the next two days giggling and enjoying each other's company, he gave me his number on his last day and we've stayed in contact.
To the issue: we spent 4 hours on the phone to each other last night and one of the topics we discussed is how we both ended up in the ward. He told me he suffers from the same eating disorder and struggles with depression and self harm.
I really like this guy Reddit, we've got a date on Friday and I'm really excited. I'm just so worried that if anything came from this date, we might be unhealthy for each other and trigger each other. For example (I binge and purge, he knows and ends up doing the same etc.) I care about him and don't want to make his health any worse.. Reddit how can I make sure I won't be making a negative impact on his life? How can I avoid triggering him? (And vice Versa) or should I just leave it and not go on this date? | going on a date with a great guy, we're both mentally ill and could trigger each other, is it best to just leave it? |
t3_ztu3i | AskReddit | Does reddit really want to see r/atheism and r/aww on the front page? | This issue has been bugging me for quite a while. I would however like to start by saying that despite what can be said about the upvote system and it's potential flaws, I am usually very happy about the diversity of posts that you are greeted with initially when you visit the site.
Reddit continues to be a cutting edge forum for many of my interests, and provides tremendous reach and balance when it comes to keeping abreast of international, tech or political news or indeed many other social issues. I think it is this diversity that justifies the moniker "front page of the internet".
That said, the inclusion of r/atheism on the front page seems puts a very strong slant on the website in my opinion. Although there are some very valid arguments on the subreddit and i'm sure it does provide an important place for some atheists to discuss their opinions, more and more it seems characterised by screencaps of self-righteous put downs of 'fundie' fb content and the like. It has gotten to the point now that I have even seen the term "reddit-athiest" being used to describe the type of militant atheists who make 'fundie' christians look meek.
It seems an especially unusual and biased topic to have as a default subreddit seeming the likes of r/christianity, r/islam, r/religion and r/debatereligion (for example) are not defaulted. That said, I am aware that it is an extremely popular reddit compared to the religious reddits I have mentioned.
On the topic of r/aww, I like pics of kittehs and puppehs as much as the next person, but really, is it something that merits a place on the front page in priority of actual debatable content? I mean, if someone is into trawling through pictures of cute little animals, surely they can find the suggested link in r/pics.
I understand that even if this post doesn't get buried, i'm still baiting an avalanche of downvotes, but please, if you're going to downvote at least give me your opinion on why all potential new redditors should be greeted with these subreddits. | Is the inclusion of r/atheism as a default subreddit justified? Is r/aww really more important to have on the frontpage than a subreddit that inspires serious discussion? |
t3_yap0x | BreakUps | Reddit, help me, I need to get over my friend. [21M/21F] | I'll get straight to the point. I'm 21M, she's 21F. We're in college together and we've grown to be very close friends. We spent a lot of time together. I gradually fell for her. This was two years ago.
She didn't see me the same way, and on some level, I knew that a relationship b/w us wouldn't work. Our interests are too different. But I let myself fall for her, mainly because of how caring and sensitive she is. It doesn't help that she's downright adorable and just the right mix of femininity/tom-boyishness I've always found attractive. Plus, letting yourself dream of fantasies of you both together really feels all sorts of awesome at the time.
So I quickly realized that it was a one-way thing. Went through all the denial, depression, questioning etc and came out of it. Now, I don't like her as much as I used to. I've come to accept, more or less, that nothing between is going to happen. But sometimes I still have a hard time seeing her flirt with other guys etc.
I don't want to be like that. I want to see her as a friend, and be happy for her when she finds a guy she likes. I hate feeling like this. I keep feeling really bad when she doesn't text me, or doesn't treat me with the importance I would want. I get upset if she's even the slightest bit upset about something. I get sad when she's sad. etc
I just want to rid myself of these feelings for her and view her as a friend. The way I see my other female friends. | Close friends with a girl. Fell for her. One-way feelings. Now having a hard time getting over her. Help. |
t3_3296fb | relationships | SO[21f] wants to get into med school but her idea of it straining our relationship[21m] [repost from /medspouse] | Here's my situation,im pretty much done with school have a good job with good pay set up while my girlfriend is a little behind in school(low gpa,not going to graduate on time,not accepted in her program yet as an undergraduate). So she is very doubtful of getting into med school and literally wants to get a perfect score in the MCAT in order to cover up for her academic record as an undergraduate.
This is where my issue comes in, I do not doubt her capabilities at all but her idea of achieving a perfect score is going to another state(arizona since its 'isolated' state,we live in Chicago btw) and studying for 12 hours a day and not having any sort of distractions for 1 year. She also says she wants to go to AZ since her aunt can give her a good job as well.
Here is what bothers me....
1. I have good connections and give her just as good or better of a job than her aunt
2.if she wants isolation she can do that here in Chicago
3 .she would just leave me like that so quickly
I love her and i am moving out to my own place,her parents according to her would not let her move in with me unless we married,which she doesn't want.
I want to support her and id do anything to see my baby happy. Please tell me what I or we should do. We've been together for a yr and never fought and always looked out for one another. Thank you for any responses i appreciate everything reddit does and this subreddit contributes to the community. | she wants to move to another state(without me) in order to be in an isolated place with the hope of getting perfect on MCAT |
t3_h7gyc | AskReddit | Need your help Reddit... Is this legal? | I was at a bowling alley last night with a group of friends. There's a group of people in the lane to the left of us clearly intoxicated. So I'm sitting down on the couch minding my own business. All of a sudden this guy from the other group comes over and starts talking up a storm. He's heavily intoxicated and he's asking me to shake his hand.
I refused to shake his hand and offered him a fist bump instead. This guy is incredibly offended at this and goes on a 5 minute diatribe about this. He asks me if I want to know something cool. I say "whats that?" He proceeds to pull out his Work i.d. from ...lets just say...CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT. This guy is an officer that's off duty. So that is established there. Shit faced cop talking a bunch of shit to someone minding their own business.
He proceeds to THREATEN me with calling up his buddies and ARRESTING me for refusing to shake his hand. This is what the said verbatim, " HOW ABOUT I CALL MY BUDDIES AND THEN MAYBE YOU'LL SHAKE MY HAND. I CAN ARREST YOUR ASS YOU KNOW. IF I EVER PULL YOU EVER I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR FUCKING CAR AWAY. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT'S ONLY A JOB TO ME AND IT'S A FUCKING CAR TO YOU."
His friends come over at this point and apologize on his behalf for him. They soon left.
Reddit. How do I go about this? Is this legal of him to do that? Should I file a complaint? I have witnesses to everything that was mentioned. | drunk asshole cop threatens me with arrest while I'm minding my own business. I'm looking for a way to deal with this. |
t3_sqoj3 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the most irrational thing your parent have ever gotten extremely passionate about? | My parents are in the middle of a messy divorce, and my sister is clearly on my father's side. She walks in the room a few minutes ago and says "Mom, I told Dad you didn't let the dog out this morning and he pooped on the floor!" My Mom immediately bursts out crying, because she thinks that my sister is giving my Mom ammo to help my dad take my sister away. For something as innocent as forgetting to let the dog out. She is still crying and yelling horrible things about my sister and father and sister. I would try and console her and be nice, but the things she is yelling are just disgusting, and I want to let her cool down for now. What ridiculous things have your parents done for seemingly no reason? | My sister told my dad that my mom forgot to let out the dog, and my mom burst out crying because she thought she was trying to help my dad get custody. |
t3_33q08p | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [33M] of 6 months. Back together after a breakup, how can I trust him again? | My SO and I met online about 6 months ago, and dove VERY quickly into a close, exclusive relationship. We are incredibly compatible, laugh together constantly, and have incredible sex. I was very much in love, and I became kind of clingy and obsessive. Long story short, we got in a very drunken fight, and broke up a month ago.
I wanted him back the entire month, but I didn't speak to him or pursue him in any way (No contact works, trust it!). Last week he started asking for another chance. We went out for dinner and all the chemistry and feelings are still there. On one hand, I'm as happy as a person can be. I truly love this man, and I am thrilled to have him back in my life. I'm walking around grinning from ear to ear just because of how much he GETS me. We communicated a lot about what went wrong and I'm being honest with him about how I don't trust him yet.
Here's the thing: He's pulling out all the stops to convince me that he's absolutely sure about me this time. He completely blames himself for the breakup and is very apologetic about how stupid he feels he was. He is cooking me dinners, planning elaborate dates, paying for a road trip and tickets to seem my favorite band, keeping in contact all the time, and telling me how happy he is that we're back together. I'm beyond happy, but how can I get past the trust issues? He was wonderful when we first met too, and he threw it all away even when he told me he was in love with me back then.
I don't need or expect to be treated like a princess every day for the rest of my life. He really doesn't have to do all of this for me! I've told him all of these concerns and he says "Wait and see, time will prove that I'm never letting you go again" Of course I'm enjoying it right now, but when will I stop waiting for the other shoe to drop? | Boyfriend is being over-the-top wonderful to prove that he is sorry for our breakup. I love it, but don't trust it. |
t3_1l198a | relationships | 22M, need coaching for destructive thoughts about body image and thinking I'm not dateable. | I've been single for a year. I've only dated one girl and I loved her like crazy. We were friends for three years and dated for six months. I didn't really ever get clear answers why we broke up. As I think of the relationship, there are parts I miss and parts I know I wasn't treated as well as I should have been. I don't really want her back, but I'd like to reconcile one day with her and move on to something better.
Problem is, I thought this girl and I were perfect. I'm having a hard time thinking I can get with someone I perceive to be as good as her in as many ways as her. I know I need to venture out there to find those people, but I'm just not finding myself seriously interested at the moment, despite seriously desiring a relationship. I think part of it is wondering if I got broken up with because of my looks. It's one of those things where nobody will be honest with you whether they think it or not because they're afraid they'll hurt your feelings, even if it's a friend.
I've beat myself up about the physical things I attribute to having been broken up with for, and at my worst I feel like every man and woman who sees me says "Eww, look at that ugly face" and writes me off. It's really unhealthy and I hate it, but the thought is really hard to fight away.
I'd love your encouragement, this is hell on me in medical school. Thanks. | Having body image issues, think I'm undateable and everyone sees me as ugly or undesirable. Need coaching and encouragement. |
t3_2bknc0 | relationships | She (21f) just cancelled our third date and completely blocked me (23m) from everything (phone, facebook, twitter). I feel upset, what did I do wrong? | I was seeing this girl who has been awesome. We laughed a lot and had a really fun first couple of dates. She just all of the sudden left me a voice mail canceling our 3rd date with some bullshit lie and blocked me on everything (phone, Facebook, skype, twitter).
Yeah it's time to move on but I can't help but question what the hell happened. She was joking one night about how she never really blocks numbers from her phone.
I'm thinking:
1. Did I do something wrong? Did she all of the sudden decide that I seemed like a creep or something?
2. Was she just that immature to lie about plans instead of telling me that she wasn't interested?
How the hell do I reflect on what I did wrong and move on? | Seems like girl is in to me but completely shuts me out of her life suddenly. Now I feel like there is something wrong with me/was something I did. |
t3_2nibhl | relationships | I'm [19 F] having trouble getting over my ex [19 M], even though the relationship was only three months | I'll try to make this short. This was my first relationship and pretty much my first everything, so obviously my expectations were skewed from the start. We just connected right away, and he took all my guards down and made me trust him almost immediately. He always stressed honesty, so we had an honest, healthy relationship. We never actually fought.
A month ago he dumped me out of nowhere. I thought everything was fine. We were teasing each other and joking the night before. The only thing I can think that's my fault is that maybe I was too clingy, but I tried really hard not to be. :( He was the only person I actually wanted to talk to every day, and I never wanted to do that with anybody before. I can't even fault him for anything since he did nothing wrong to me except not wanting me anymore. I just wasn't expecting it to hurt this much and I don't know what to do.
I don't text him or stalk his online profiles (I did this in the first week, though). I'm doing a lot better than I was, but it's still there. I still think about him all the time. I just want him back, and I can't stop coming up with scenarios of us getting back together. Yeah, I know it's not going to happen, but I can't seem to help it.
The worst thing is, I feel absolutely worthless now. He was the first person who ever wanted me for myself. The combination of him breaking up with me and nobody else ever wanting me just makes me loathe myself. I've always had normal issues with my appearance that were never a big deal, but I rarely picked apart my personality. Now I just can't stand myself. It's not like I feel like this all the time, but my self-esteem has definitely gone way down because of the break-up. Can anybody help me get through this? | I got dumped a month ago and can't stop thinking about my ex. I also have a low self-esteem now. |
t3_xv6bd | relationships | Fiance (32) put his mother's (48) name on the house, and I'm afraid she will use this against me (27) | I'm 27 he is 32. we've been together 6 years. We have a kid together, he has 2 kids from a previous marriage, I have 1 kid from a previous relationship - I met him while pregnant and he's raised her as his own.
We decided to finally make it official, mostly to protect each other and the kids should something happen to one of us. We wanted to get a prenup - him because he was scared due to his previous divorce, me because I want him to be protected should something happen that causes us to divorce, I do not believe I should be taking half the stuff he earned before meeting me (well, half of the half he had left!).
But after attempting to get a prenup he said it costs too much and he only really wants to protect one thing, the house. So instead he decided to put his mother's name on the house along with his.
Now if we were to divorce I really would not want this house, as I don't like it much anyway, and the kids could continue to stay here until I get on my feet. But if something were to happen to him, I fear I would then be supporting the kids on my own AND be homeless because his mother hates me. She already manipulates me (well, us) into doing what she wants by not letting us see his older 2 kids when we don't (she has guardianship of them - long story). So I think this is just one more thing she will hold over me. Could she use this to threaten me even if something doesn't happen to my fiance?
When I try to talk to my fiance about it he says he "doesn't want to argue about it." And anyway it is already done. We are suppose to get married tomorrow and I'm partially thinking I don't want to because of this, but on the other hand if we aren't married then I would have NO leg to stand on about the house should something happen to him (not to mention no ability to fight for visitation of the older 2 kids, no right to see him in hospitals, etc. etc. etc.). | bitchy MIL's name is now on my fiance's house and it scares me. I'm suppose to get married tomorrow but not sure if I should. What do? |
t3_1hzao2 | relationships | torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool (me F, they are M, all early 20s) | I have to keep this kind of vague for privacy reasons but I really am torn and confused about this whole ordeal and really would appreciate any advice. Be brutally honest if need be.
I am in a sort of long-distance relationship with my ex (dated for 2+ years, broken up for about a year now - but since the breakup we have been on and off). We are not in the same country at the moment and will not be for a few more months.
It is understood between us that once we are in the same country again, we will give our relationship another go. I deeply love this man, although to be perfectly honest I do have doubts about whether our relationship will work if we were to give it another shot. Nothing deal breaker-y like cheating or anything, but there are certainly some niggling issues that I fear will come up again. I do definitely feel the need to give it another chance though, as we still love each other so much.
The problem is I have recently been running in the same social circles as another guy, and we get along really well. I know he definitely has feelings for me, and I like him too, although whenever I flirt or think of kissing him or anything, the confusion and guilt makes me feel sick to the stomach and puts me off. I can't help but wonder whether I would find with this guy the pieces I feel are missing with my ex.
Has anyone ever been in this position? Please help me out.
That is it in a nutshell, obviously it's more complicated than that. If you need clarification or expansion, I will do my best, without compromising privacy. | torn between the ex that I love and care for deeply, and another guy who may be Mr. Right for all I know. |
t3_v0pnx | AskReddit | Reddit, can you please show my little sister some support? | Her name is Marshalla. She's 12y/o, and she sings. I'm coming to Reddit to ask for this because she's uploaded a lot of videos online by herself, and people in the Youtube "community" have either ignored her or have been ridiculously mean. I was just on one of her accounts and someone left a comment that said "Lose some weight, whore". Makes me ashamed to be human. I'm in my twenties so I understand the bastardly nature of people, but she's just a kid, and it bothers me to see people leaving hateful comments on her videos that she cares a lot about. I will always try and help her with music whenever I can. Check out her youtubes and say something kind. I want her to feel good about her efforts.
As her older brother, I try to give her all the support I can, but there's only so much I can do. She doesn't have much production value to her uploads, but that's just because she's a 12 year old kid using a webcam in a living room. If you could check out some of her vids, and maybe say some nice words I/she would be most grateful.
here's the youtube with little to no views:
this one has views but horrible comments:
an electronic song called "Flight of the Unicorns" I made with her when she was 5. It's a theme about her first love (unicorns). | My sister sings songs on youtube. Her voice is awesome but her microphone is not. Leave her a nice comment sometime. |
t3_1uk1c7 | Cooking | Those of you who went to culinary school, how did you find it? | Here is why I ask, I'm going to Uni next year but am so sick of studying id probably drop out after the first semester, my plan is to go into Oceanography but getting there is going to be a bitch, so I'm thinking of bailing Uni and going to culinary school to become a chef. I absolutely love cooking, I absolutely love Oceanography, I absolutely love learning, but the one thing I hate more then anything is taking tests and studying. I'd love being a chef, I don't mind shitty hours and few vacations because I don't do much on vacation anyway. | Do I bounce Uni and go to Culinary school, or do I go to Uni to see if I can handle it and then go to culinary school after, if ever. |
t3_14o75u | running | Let's talk shoes! Transitioning from old Nike Free's | What's up fellow runners!! I begin training next month for my second half marathon and am in need of some new kicks! For the last couple years and for my first half I ran in the same pair of Nike free 2. Having logged well over 1000 miles in them I can feel that they have started to break down. About 6 months ago I purchased the lunarglide 4s as a better alternative for long distance. I can't stand them! They seem to make me heel strike and just feel way to heavy. I loved the free 2s I had before but wonder is there a better alternative? The weight and flexibility of the free 2s are what attract me to them. What do you all recommend for a lightweight and similar shoe? | Nike frees are old, need new shoes for half marathon. Wanting similar in terms of weight and flexibility. Thoughts? |
t3_2cnro7 | pettyrevenge | Ungrateful sister with guinea pigs. | Couple weeks ago my parents went away for their 25th anniversary, so it was up to me to house sit and take care of their dog and my teenage sister.
Turns out she has work all week early in the morning and far away so she wont be home for most of it. But she has two guinea pigs that need taking care of. So almost every day she would wake me up at 5:30 so I could drive her to the train for work (she doesn't have a license although she is old enough). I'd drive home and sleep for another hour before waking up to walk my dog and then feed her guinea pigs.
On her day off I announce I have plans to meet up with friends and that she needs to stay home to take care of the animals. But she is having none of this and refuses to stay home and be bored on her day off. We get into a big argument that results in me being the bigger person and bailing on my friends so she can go out while I stay home again.
On the last day before my parents get home, she wakes me up angrily saying she would be late if we didn't leave right now. I groggily and grumpily start to drive her and confront her about how ungrateful she's been this past week and I bring up that she hasn't even thanked me once for watching her pets or driving her and saving her a half hour walk to the train. She refuses to thank me saying I was always grumpy and "why should she thank me for not being gracious about doing her favors?"
That kinda pushed me over the edge. Cue big argument and when I threatened to turn the car around she says she "will punch me in the fucking throat". Lol. Ok.
So I drove her the rest of the way and when I got home I stuffed her pillow with tons of guinea pig poop pellets. Now I laugh every night because she has no idea, but on several occasions has complained of the smell in her room. | Ungrateful sister refuses to thank me for waking up early to take care of pets/drive her around all week. So I stuffed her pillow with guinea pig poop. |
t3_4e9txz | relationships | Me [21F] with my now ex [21F] a few months, had a talk last night that's breaking my heart | I know this is very cliche but...
She said a few days ago we gotta take a break. Lat night I told her on the phone I want to be with her and that no one attracts me the way she does. She told me she doesn't want that and that I shouldn't think about a relationship anymore, but that we can still talk from time to time as friends. I said I'd rather go no contact because I can't control my feelings for her.
She ignores me nonchalantly and no fucks given from her part because there will always be someone else waiting in line to give her attention of one sort or another.
We got here because of my inability to cope with an open relationship. She slept with someone else last week and I felt hurt. What hurt me most was that she told me she talked with that girl in a few hours more deeply than she did with me in a few months. It crushed me tbh and it annoyed her that it crushed me.
Right now I am sure she wants nothing to do with me anymore but I feel dead inside and I don't know how to cope with this. It feels like I lost an amazing person; granted, someone who couldn't put up with me and my insecurities. I find it hard to focus on anything else now and I'm afraid this feeling won't go away too fast... | Crush doesn't want to continue a relationship with me. I feel heartbroken and alone. I wanna move past this and get her out of my mind but I don't know how. Any advice please? |
t3_18x83v | relationship_advice | My[M18] girlfriend[f19] thinks it's weird I'm younger. What to do? | Backstory first I suppose. This is only my second relationship and I am now her sixth. In my case I've only been with an older girl but with her, all her past boyfriends have been older. I'm a senior in HS graduating this year and she's in her first year of college. we know each other through our job and thats how we started seeing each other.
So here's the deal, we were randomly having a conversation and we end up talking about how she's never been with anyone younger and she said she hadn't given much thought about it till now. I told her how this is not much of an age difference and asked her if she really felt like I was younger to her (as I always saw myself more mature then my age group) and she said no. The thing is I know it still bugs her a bit.
So my question is what else, if anything, can I say to reassure her that this isn't a problem.
Also other then this little situation our relationship is going great. | Girlfriend thinks it's weird I'm her first younger boyfriend. What can I say to not make her think it's a problem? |
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