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t3_2lky50 | relationships | Update: My [24F] husband [25M] was secretively looking for a fuck buddy and meeting up with girls. I'm leaving him today. | [Previous post](
The main issues presented that made me feel like I couldn't leave him were: my car was broken down, I couldn't afford rent, and we work at the same place. I did a lot of brainstorming this week, got my car fixed, contacted an out of state family member and concocted a plan. I'm "sick" today, nothing is suspicious outwardly, but I'm actually packing up all of my shit and hitting the road for good by 1pm. I'll be staying in their spare room until I get things together. He won't be seeing me tonight, or ever again.
I got a lot of feedback that genuinely helped push me to this decision. Its been a fucking *exhausting* week trying to pretend that I know nothing. It's been miserable having the compulsion to check his messages only to become nauseated by what I find and then him hugging me when he gets home. I can't wait to finally leave this abusive relationship after 3 years of hell.
I see a lot of therapy and tears in my future, but right now I'm letting anger drive and motivate me. I also see hope and happiness. I cannot wait to see my family and friends that he's forced me to cut contact with. I an't wait to feel like a worthwhile human being again, to finish college and to have some great, fulfilling, mind-blowing sex.
p.s. don't get married young. | Stayed in an abusive marriage for too long, husband now cheating and I'm leaving him today thanks to your help. |
t3_zlhwu | relationship_advice | [16/M] My Girlfriend[15/F] doesn't believe I love her. | Me and my girlfriend have been dating a while now, I tell her I love her everyday. She used to believe it every time, say it back and we'd go about our day happy and in love. Now when I say it, she says "whatever" or "I don't believe you". I've proven it to her multiple times, and she is my world. Without her I would be dead by now. She is the most wonderful person I've ever met. And I love her to death. I never want to lose her. How can i get her to believe me? How can I get her to trust me and to just be happy with me? She's always finding little problems with everything, tonight shes doing this because I didn't text her back for 6 minutes. It's always little things. I love her so much. Please help me. | How do I get her to trust/believe that i love her? Tiny things set her off sometimes and she's very vulnerable. Help me, please. |
t3_ey91k | AskReddit | Could there be something wrong with my power strip? | I got a new TV and powerstrip about a month ago. I plugged in my TV, xBox, receiver and cable box into the strip. Everything was going great until two days ago when my TV kept cutting off (my xBox was also plugged in at the time but stayed on). I just walked away from it for the night and decided to try to fix it the next day after work. The next day my TV worked perfectly and I slept with it on. This morning I woke up and my receiver had turned itself on in the night and wouldn't turn off until I unplugged it. I have no idea how this could have happened because the remote for it was not touched and it was definitely off when I fell asleep. The only thing that I could come up with as a plausible explanation was that it was something faulty with the power strip because nothing else in my room has been affected. | how could my reciever have turned on in the middle of the night without being touched and could this have been affected by a power strip? |
t3_sq2u5 | AskReddit | What's the most outrageous/craziest thing someone has done just to get their way? | I'll start. It was a few minutes to closing time when this woman walks in. She grabs a cart and starts filling it with makeup and travel sized bottles of shampoo, deodorant, ect. I ask her if she needs help finding anything in hopes of getting her out quicker. She declines and moves onto the back of the store. I make the announcer we're closing at 10 but she's still taking her time. Finally she comes up to the register 10 minute after closing and starts asking me questions about everything in her cart (we're talking well over 50 items) and I answer them as best as I can while still trying to speed her up a little because I just wanted to go home.
So finally after deciding not to buy about half of the items which I have to put away later I ring her up and tell her the total right as the lights on the timer shut off. I ask manager to turn them back on as she freaks out and pays and I unlock the door for her to leave. We put her items back, lock up and go home. That should be it right? Wrong.
She called my manager that next morning saying how I was rude to her and stole her wallet with $3000 in cash. My manager calls me and asks me what happens and I tell her. The lady keeps calling back and harassing my manager for not giving her my name. So the woman calls the police on me!! They check the tapes of that night and then call me asking me what happened.
The kicker is that the woman said I knew her pregnant daughter. Note: I'm only 18 so I wouldn't know anyone who was pregnant at my age and I ended up not knowing her daughter once they gave me her name. So basically this woman was full of shit and tried to get me arrested so that the store would give her $3000. | woman calls the cops on me to get my store to pay her $3000 after she accused me of stealing it after harassing me. |
t3_1y7drs | relationships | I [22/M] and thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend [22/F] of 4 years. | I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 4 years now. We used to live together, but we had to go to schools in different states. At first, I was hesitant about a LDR, and even told my girlfriend that I wouldn't be in one (again; I had one a few years ago in high school). We decided we would stay together until we had to leave for school, which is when we would break up.
Throughout that time she would make little comments about "how I am leaving her anyway" and little things like that. I thought really long and hard at that time and decided it wasn't fair to her that I put an expiration date on our relationship, plus I still really love her, so I told her I would be willing to try out the long distance relationship.
Over the last few months we've been slowly losing consistent contact. This Valentine's Day i bought her a poster with hearts over each of our cities and states, since I thought she would think it was cute. I was happy to send it at the time. But slowly, it started to eat away at me.
At this point I should tell that she hates it at her school and wishes to go back to our original state. I, however, have been loving it in my new state and even plan to stay out here once I'm finished with school. She, for many reasons, has no intention of moving to my state or in with me before marriage.
Anyways, the poster thing started to eat at me about the whole LDR thing. The fact we've been losing contact, the distance, what our plans are for the future, etc. Last night, right before I was going to bed I realized I have to break up with her. I also saw her valentines day package hasn't been delivered to her (shipping problems).
I am planning on breaking up with her, though it's definitely going to suck because I still love her very much. My question is, what should I do about the Valentine's Day gift? Should I tell her not to open it? Should I be totally honest with her and tell her the Valentine's Day gift is what made me want to break up with her? | I sent my LDR girlfriend a gift which made me realize I want to break up with her. She still hasn't received it and not sure what to tell her about it. |
t3_3detnp | personalfinance | Collection Agency -- no written correspondence? | Quick Backstory:
From the beginning of January to the end of February, my brother was condo sitting for me while I was gone. During that time he was also, occasionally, using my car (his car only fits 4; mine 8). At some point he got a ticket that he said he'd pay for.
Relevant Information:
On the 29th/30th of June, I received 3 phone calls from a collection agency saying I owe ~$450 (original ticket of $120 + late fees + collection agency fees). I called my brother who, of course, said he had paid the ticket. So, I sent them a letter to get validation of debt.
Today, I received a phone call response saying, "[They] do not accept nor recognize any written correspondence. [They] are acting on behalf of a governmental agency and I have to take my case up with [ -- County]." Meanwhile, they are still calling about 3x during the week and once during the weekend.
Has anyone else experienced this before? Since the start of the phone call barrage, I have yet to receive any sort of letter. This is my first time dealing with a collection agency and I've never heard of them refusing to communicate through mail. What would they do if I told them to stop calling me? | Contacted by collection agency about a ticket that got "paid" when countered for validation of debt get told that the agency does not accept nor recognize written correspondence. |
t3_1vqxg2 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 9 months, have had a breakup involving my bestfriend and struggling to make decisions. | Hey, earlier today my girlfriend noticed a message from my bestfriend calling her a whore due to previous moments leading to my bestfriend thinking like that of her. Due to this my girlfriend called her up and had a big argument which lead to me and her breaking up. Problem is i have no idea what to do, i care for the girl a lot though ive already considered ending it due to my personal issues, and getting back together also leads to my bestfriend not wanting to talk to me, as of this im struggling to decide what i want and what i should do. | girlfriend and i broke up due to issues with my bestfriend, bestfriend wont talk to me if we get back together. |
t3_29exe3 | relationships | I'm 25 and I'm starting college this Fall, how should I approach dating? | I have a community college diploma already and now I'm starting an English degree in college with plans to go teach abroad after graduation for a few years and returning to teach domestically in Canada.
Since I'm 25 (male) I was wondering how I should approach dating. Most of the people in my class are going to be around 18 years of age. Is it creepy if I date a 19 or 20 year old? I'm going to a city where nobody knows me and I'm almost considering just pretending to be 20 or something just to fit in automatically and avoid the awkward explanations of why I'm in college as an older student. Would that be wrong?
As for maturity: Due to religious reasons that I'm slowly getting over I've never dated in my life. So in terms of life experience I'm about where a person entering at a normal age would be. I'll be living in student housing and have no baggage in terms of kids or loans or anything like that. Aside from my age my life situation is pretty much like that of a normal student. | As an 25 year old college student is it okay to date the 18-21 year olds that will be in my classes? |
t3_3c99fp | relationships | My GF [24F] of 4 years won't respect or understand my [26m] boundaries in bed. | I'll start this off by saying I love my girlfriend, we have a nice home together and generally a really nice life together. However there's been one pretty consistent issue that she keeps pushing and before you crucify me for it, please read the whole post.
Basically, I won't/can't perform oral sex on her. This stems from me being molested by a family friend from the age of 10-15, who would mostly force me to perform oral on her. I've done therapy and for the most part I'm over it, but the physical sensation of performing oral is often too much for me too handle.
My girlfriend has been unsympathetic at best, she thinks therapy should have just magically cured me, and at worst thinks I should just "get over it" since she is a different person from the one who molested me. I try to relate it to her by bringing up her hate for asparagus, her mom used to force feed it to her as a child and now, as an adult, she refuses to eat it. She doesn't think the situation is similar.
I tell her she can stop performing oral on me, but she says that's not fair because she enjoys that more than I do, which is true. And it's not like I don't satisfy her sexually, unless she's faking it, she has at least one orgasm every time we have sex and will often tire before I finish.
I think the worst part is I told her about my problems with oral when we first started dating, that if she were to date me seriously she would have to be okay with my inability to perform that way. But the more I refuse the more she seems fixated on it and lately she's been trying to force it on me. Earlier she just shoved her crotch in my face, which is why I'm writing this, and won't understand why I'm so upset about it.
I really don't want to break up with her, but I can't make her back off. Are there any strategies I'm missing or is there a way to get her to understand where I'm coming from? | I was molested when I was younger and can't perform oral because of it. Girlfriend doesn't understand and lately is trying to force it on me. |
t3_4mgka1 | relationships | I [19f] started work with my roommate [19m] last week and really want to strike up a fwb situation with one of our coworkers [20m], but roommate is in love with me | Let me start this off by saying I'm pansexual, but I don't enjoy dating men. I enjoy sex with men, but my preference is always women, enough for me to call myself a lesbian most of the time so I don't have to deal with people being rude about my sexuality. aside from the first boyfriend I had in high school, I've never dated men. Only women. And I recently broke up with my girlfriend of two years and so my mental state is really into rebound sex right now.
here's the problem. the person I've become interested is one of my coworkers. we got along instantly and I find myself really attracted to him. this is kind of rare for me but not unheard of. my roommate also works with us, he's technically one of my supervisors, and a lot of my friends have the sneaking suspicion that he's in love with me or at least infatuated. I don't return the feelings in any capacity. he's my friend and roommate first and foremost. since we live and work together we see a lot of each other.
we're moving into a tiny ass apartment soon, because our current landlord fucked us over and a tiny apartment is the best we could manage on such short notice. there's virtually no privacy. I don't want to kick my friend out for hours at a time just so I can have sex with one of our mutual friends, especially since its pretty apparent my roommate has feelings for me. | wanna get down with no strings with a coworker, don't want to offend roommate who's probably in love with me, but we have like zero privacy in our apartment. |
t3_hzlvo | AskReddit | I have a question regarding watching porn and masturbation while having a girlfriend, looking for your opinion reddit! | My girlfriend asked me what I look at when I masturbate. I told her I either click on a few videos on redtube or youporn, or I go to livejasmin or cam4 and watch the cam chat girls. She was ok with watching traditional porn, but when i mentioned that I go to camming websites, she was saddened. I read an askreddit post about communicating with girls on /r/gonewild, and that most people thought this was worse than simply viewing porn, since you can private message the girls on gonewild, and possibly chat with them. The reason I watch cam girls is because the traditional 'porn' look is pretty gross IMO. I find normal/amateur girls more attractive than girls with fake tits and way too much makeup. In any event, I told her (and I plan to stick to this) that I will refrain from visiting camming websites.
What do you guys think? | Girlfriend is upset that I view cam girl sites when masturbating, but I only go there because 'porn' girls are ugly IMO. |
t3_2dmlo5 | Dogtraining | Dog Suddenly Scared of Being Outside | Last night, my girlfriend and I had our 11mo old rescue beagle/terrier (we've had him for 6mo) at the dog park we've been to plenty of times. He had been running and being chased by other dogs for about 12 minutes. After getting some water and resting, we decided to walk with him around the park off leash, something we've done plenty of other times. As we started walking, he started to limp off his back left leg, ran a quick circle with his tail between his legs and came right to our feet, not wanting to move. We noticed something wasn't right so we picked him up and left to go home. After getting home, he was very scared and unsure of everything. He stood in one spot in the apartment for about 10 minutes until I moved him. He wasn't interested in toys or treats. After about 30-45 minutes we got him to eat a few treats and he eventually ate his dinner on his own.
Upon taking him out before bed last night, he seemed fine, we got about halfway down our street and he hopped his back end and seemed all scared again and would just lay down in the grass. He did pee, but after that he didn't want to move and I had to carry him back to the house. He slept fine all night and isn't showing any signs of injury either.
This morning, he was the same outside, he peed, but I couldn't get him out of our driveway. He just laid down in the grass, tail between his legs, sorta limping. We inspected him all over and didn't see any scratches, cuts, bites or stings. He's usually very playful, happy, curious puppy, so the way he's acting is very uncharacteristic of him which has us concerned.
Any idea what happened? How can we get him to feel more comfortable outside so he can do all his business? | incident at the dog park has our pup scared of going outside for any reason. How can we make him be comfortable and confident outside? |
t3_2qw6yu | needadvice | Give me perspective. Please. I need it. | Hey guys, so here's my deal:
I graduated in May. I went to school in NYC and a lot of my friends still live and work there.
I moved home with my folks in August (from CT) and after getting a part-time job at a company that I like within the industry that I wanted to get into, I got offered a fulltime position there.
Generally speaking, I like my job and the people I work with, but the fact of the matter is, my hours suck. I work a lot of swing shifts (4p-12am) and I have to work a lot of weekends. I get to see my friends in New York every now and then, but my crazy hours, the fact that I live at home, and my lack of weekends off has left me feeling kinda alone and isolated. To make matters worse, my job does not offer any sort of paid time off, It's some state loophole, so I can't even plan a vacation to look forward too without eating into my paycheck.
I'm also single and my hours make me pretty much un-datable...
Basically, I don't know if I should be happy. I have a job in the field I studied to go into, but no social life to speak of. I'm living at home and saving up a lot of money, but I miss NYC to death.
From the outside, what do you think of my situation? | Working the "dream job" that I wanted but sacrificing my social life and general happiness to do so. Is it worth it? |
t3_imdyf | AskReddit | Reddit I need your help, I need to get a license (im 19) but I can't take the driving exam because I don't have a license...it's an endless loop help! | Hi Reddit,
this sounds stupid, but I am 19, and don't have a license. I can drive perfectly fine, and I have reviewed the driving manual comprehensively...but I can't get the license because in the *Great State of Oklahoma* they don't have any programs where they let you rent a vehicle and insurance for the exam from them.
Now I know what you're thinking, how can you not have a car to take the exam...what the hell are you going to be driving when you get the license? I do have a perfectly fine running vehicle in my name, but I can't get insurance on it because I don't have a license. My parents are both deployed overseas and can't just come back to help me get a license.
So Reddit wtf can I do? I can't rent a car, too young. My friends, friends parents, all won't let me use their vehicle to take the exam. The exam takes 25 fucking minutes, but I can't find anyone to let me use their vehicle with insurance, because if I happen to crash they will be liable for the damage since I am not a dependent, and their rates will rise... | 19 year old, parents are deployed, can't get a license because I can't find a vehicle with insurance to take the exam. Fuck the state of Oklahoma, god damn bible belt pieces of shit. |
t3_1lqjwo | relationships | I [23M] Wonder What I Should Do When Recent Ex [22F] Doesn't Respond to Recent Apology Email | I've posted here recently, but I won't bother y'all with many of the details. To keep it short, my ex dumped me last week after first asking for a break. It was really unclear what it was then, I swung around the term "amicable breakup" and didn't really process what I meant. Over the rest of that week, we didn't talk except when she shot me a couple of texts about our football team, and I (drunk) responded. Contact dropped back off after that. 2 days later, I was only getting distraught and asked her what she was really intending to do.
Anyway, the reality of the situation set in and I said some fairly nasty things to her once I realized she was actually intending to break up with me. After the "breakup," I asked her for clarification of her reason the next morning and proceeded to get mad again, saying some fairly disturbing things and causing her to stop responding after a "Bye, tightspiral". For context, she only called me by my name when she's being really serious or super-pissed at me.
Yesterday, I sent her an apology email (she stated she wanted me to only contact her by email moving forward) very seriously apologizing for being an asshat and hoping we could talk in the future. She hasn't responded. How should I take it? I know she's online in general going by Twitter. Honestly, I'd be fine if I knew she at least read it, but I feel asking her if she had will come off as confrontational. What should I do? Am I just going to have to stop worrying about it? | Sent an email apologizing for being an asshat to ex after recent breakup, she hasn't responded or acknowledged getting the email. Should I try to confirm she read it? |
t3_2xfk0b | tifu | TIFU By being a cartel for a drug dealer | I was walking out of my local store when I heard someone yell hey!, did you go to blah blah High School. I said yeah, I don't remember you, what's your name? He says Dave ****. I instantly remember his name and then I recognized him. He says, you want to make some quick cash? I'm in a bind. Gullible me says yeah, what's up? He says I got to meet this guy and pick something up. Ill give you 50 bucks and it'll only take 20 minutes. He asks for my number and I give it to him. Say's he'll call me in 10-15 minutes. I remember Dave as a decent guy from school and we hung out in childhood, however; I didn't know him in high school. He calls and says meet me at my house, which is only a few block from my house. So I go pick him up and he tells me how to get where we're going.
He tells me that guy lives in Southwest Detroit, which isn't the best of neighborhoods. I say to Dave, what kind of shit are you getting me involved in man?. He says he's a caregiver for a medical marijuana dispensary and he has to go buy some seeds. Tells me everything is perfectly legal and he has a caregiver's card. A card I didn't bother asking to see. So we go to the neighborhood in Detroit which is less than 15 minutes down I-94. We get there and Dave tells me stop on the side of the road after pulling off a main road. Guy #2 pulls up and Dave gets out and does the 'deal'. Dave gets back in my truck and we head back to the burbs. I pull up at his house and he says thanks man and hands me 50 bucks. He says there's plenty more easy money to be made. I drive away wondering how I got suckered into some shit like that. The only kind of proof I have is that he was on the phone with the person he plans on selling the seeds to, and actually used the word seeds. Could be code for meth or crack who knows.
Now Dave has my number and will likely be bugging me for future money making opportunities. | Ran into an old acquaintance from school days. Dude lured me in with the promise of easy money for just giving him a ride. Probably contributed to the distribution of a hard drug. |
t3_1enhn7 | relationship_advice | [16/m] I have an interesting situation with these girls. [16/f] [16/f] | So here's how it is.
I am a sophomore in high school and I asked this girl out after a while. We will call her alpha. We dated for 2 weeks. I broke up with her, and she said it was alright to date her best friend (who liked me a lot). We will call her beta. So I started dating beta and we dated for about 5 months. I then broke up with her, I went on a school trip (alpha was there). Before the trip I thought I might ask beta out again (this was weeks after I broke up with her). I then asked alpha out (don't ask me how/why, I don't remember that night) and we started dating. We got back from the trip asked beta if it was all right and she said sure (we were both still friends with her, we wanted her to be alright with it). Beta got a boyfriend and everything was good. Now I think I might like beta more than alpha. | I dated one girl, then dated her best friend, now I am dating the first one again, but I like the second one more. |
t3_29mwdw | relationship_advice | I(28) unintentionally made my bf(36) feel badly during a convo about my ex, advice to fix it? | We've been dating for about 1.5 years. We're long-distance and haven't seen one another since March. We both left relationships with other people to begin this one, his was more casual, mine was a 12 year relationship.
I went to a party today and saw my ex, his family, and his friends. I would never hide this from my bf, so I told him. He told me that he thinks I still kind of love my ex. I have never lied to him about that, the fact that my ex would always be important to me because I basically grew up with him. Anyway, I think I misspoke. I tried to tell him seeing my ex actually made me realize I made the right decision in terms of being with my current bf. But the way I said it wasn't the best. I said something along the lines of missing how things used to be with my ex, but referring to a relationship my ex and I had MANY years ago. I mean, even when I was with my ex, I was missing that relationship because it had been over for a while before we broke up. I tried explaining this to my bf, but regardless if he understood what I meant or not, I can tell he feels a certain way about it. I tried to start talking about getting his visa paperwork together so he could come visit again, just to show him where my priorities lie. It didn't really work.
Help me figure out a way to make it up to him? Or at least get him to realize I'm sorry and I really didn't mean it the way he took it? It's hard with the distance as well. I honestly feel this wouldn't be an issue if we were having this convo in person, instead of over skype. He says he's not upset about it, but I really think he is. | Made my long-distance bf feel bad by talking about my ex, help me try to smooth things over with him? |
t3_lqitx | AskReddit | My housemates keep having loud sex. What can I do? How can I ask them to be more respectful? | I rent a small house with two other guys. We each have our own room, but sound travels pretty well.
Housemate 1: He's not too loud, but his headboard is against my wall. When I was going to ask him to move his bed a bit, Housemate 2 and his girlfriend said, "Nooooo. Let it happen."
Housemate 2: He's the main culprit. His girlfriend is loud every single time, and they sometimes have a friend join them, and she's loud, too. They do very little to hide what they're doing, and I get the impression that they want us to hear.
Now, I'm not a prude. I consider myself relatively adventurous as well, but one thing that I do not like is hearing other people have sex in my house. I understand that it's going to happen, but I just think that it's inappropriate for me to be hearing something I'm not a part of. It makes things incredibly awkward in the house for anyone else that's here. Housemate 1 and I have trouble hanging out or doing anything, because you can hear them literally wherever you go in the house. I can't even cook dinner right now, and I don't know how to ask them without sounding like a huge prude. | My housemates (particularly one) fuck really loud and often, and I want them to shut up. What do I do? |
t3_2qb0na | relationships | My [31M] gf [19F] of 3 months is upset about her birthday gift | Her bday was a month ago, so we had been dating for only 2 months at the time. It was only last night that she admitted to being upset at what I got her. In terms of money it wasn't much, pocket change for a man of my means. I explained that we had only been intimate for 2 months and the act of making a big show of gifts would be ingenious.
She didn't seem all too comfortable with my explanation. Ive never had a girl in my whole life who put precedent on material things over her feelings for me, but that's the vibe I got from her. Am I messing with a gold digger? | gf of 2 months at the time upset at the monetary value of the present I bought for her. Am I at risk of being hustled? |
t3_e98hw | AskReddit | Reddit, there's this girl I really like, but I'm caught in a predicament. Advice? | Hey Reddit, first time posting a thread on the site.
So, there's this girl who used to live on my floor last year who is pretty attractive. Sorority type girl, but was completely down-to-earth and wasn't full of shit. Hard to come by at my age.
So naturally, I'm quite interested in her and always have been. I couldn't do anything last year because I was in a relationship while she was single, single when she was in a relationship.
Last year, she got drunk in my room because she and her BF were fighting, so I was watching over her, because hell, who wouldn't? Then, out of the blue, she burst out in tears, crying all over me about her boyfriend. Pretty sure that etched me quite deep into the friend category.
Fast forward a few months, she breaks up with her boyfriend. I finally met the guy at a club meeting earlier this year, and well fuck, he's one of the most genuine people I've ever met and someone I'd now consider a good friend. But he still has strong feelings for her. I don't exactly want to butt in here because of the bro code.
I'm pretty much fucked with this girl, aren't I? | Attractive girl I like, I've been etched into the friend category, she's single now, but her ex-BF (who I'm friends with now) still wants her. |
t3_367hgr | tifu | TIFU by not being fast/smart enough and letting my friends dog bite a little girl | Obligatory just happened 15 minutes ago
Backstory:
My boss's son, let's call him Joe. He had a dog named storm. He loved this dog but when it "mauled" someone else's dog (while in his yard) and got put down and it destroyed him. A year later he got a pure bred husky. He's now almost 4, and his dad has been looking after him for a while now and ive been helping. I had him tied out in the yard and my little 1.5 year old daughter out with him. One of the neighborhood girls came over to say hi. as I got up off my ass to hold the dog or stop the girl I was a foot away and he went for her hand. Gashes her right open and took a chunk out of her leg with his claw. She's going to the hospital to have stitches and I don't know what's going to happen to the dog legal wise. But his dad told him if he isn't legally required to be put down, he needs to go somewhere or he'll have him put down. | let a dog bite a girl by not being quick enough to react and now she's off to get her hand and leg stitched |
t3_16r9aa | relationships | [m20] need to know how to fix dating relationship with [f18] | We went on 5 dates then everything fell apart. She is in gr 12, I am 1st year university. After the 5th date we were both so busy we could not make time to see each other. I was much more willing and flexible than she was. This was 2.5 months ago. Everytime I would try to make a date, she would have a reason why she couldn't go. I asked if I should just back off and she insisted the only problem was her being too busy.
I finally told her I was going to stop trying unless she made time to see me even if was just coffee. She said we could go for coffee this week.
I want to turn this into a relationship, but she has told me she can't be in a bf/gf relationship for personal reasons (she had an abusive relationship immediately before me). I am willing to keep dating her until she is ready. But, I can't go through the stress of another 2 and a half months of excuses.
How do I approach this coffee date?
I want to keep it light and have fun, but I need to make my intentions clear without scaring her off. Thanks. | Went on 5 really good dates with a girl, haven't seen her in 10 weeks, need to know how to fix things. |
t3_3fu091 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my wife [22 F] of two years, she's very insecure about her intelligence. | As title says, my wife is very insecure about how smart she thinks she is. That I'm in school for civil engineering and taking some relatively difficult math courses doesn't help when she says she feels really dumb compared to me.
The thing is, she's not dumb. She has dyslexia and can't read very fast, but she isn't dumb. She's not good at math because as I found out, she never got a good foundation in it, so we're working on that. She makes me handle all the money and budgeting stuff and investing because she doesn't understand mutual funds or how amortization works. I've tried to explain it but she just throws up her hands and says I can handle it. Same with economics news and science stuff, she'll try for a second to follow and then I'll either get too deep or technical or she'll lose interest and stop trying.
Mostly, she's really nervous about going to college for her mechanic program, because she's never been in higher education, so it's always a constant battle of her worrying about not being smart enough and finding out that she can't make it as a mechanic or something. She's always trying to convince me to let her not take classes because she's afraid of failing, and I'm trying to convince her that she'll be fine, because when we're going through Khan Academy and she is working through the problems there, she does fine.
I don't mind the money stuff, I like handling that, and she doesn't have to know about the science news I read about like all the Pluto stuff recently, or my engineering school projects, but the way that she constantly beats herself up about it worries me.
Her best friend and I offered to help with any tutoring she needed and she started crying because I guess when she was in middle/junior/high school her parents refused to help her with homework and her aunt shamed her for not doing well in school, so the concept of people wanting her to succeed is completely alien and I don't know how to help. | Wife doesn't think she's smart, wants to stop going to college for fear of failing, I'm in a high-math program and she thinks she's dumber than me, I want to know how to help her. |
t3_o5xpq | AskReddit | I got hired at a new job and it's been two weeks, but I still haven't started. What should I do? | I got hired to work in the IT department at this electrical company. I was hired on December 22, went in on December 28 for my drug test, told I would get a call probably Tuesday the 3rd. I didn't get a call so I called on Thursday the 5th and I got the OK that my drug test came back negative and everything is good to go. I was told that I would get a call back later that day to talk about when I would come in for my first day, but I never got anything back. It is now Friday and they close at 4PM and I have not gotten a phone call yet.
What should I do? Should I call on Sunday (the VP of the branch who I've been corresponding with) again or what? Any help would be great. | Hired at new place, been almost two weeks, VP isn't calling me when he says is going to, am worried I'm never going to wok there and really, really need this. Any help will be great. |
t3_ce69v | AskReddit | Am I wise? | I'll disclaim that this is a self-indulgence. A written letter to me, while I feel that I'm in a position in life to impart some rationally debated knowledge that I've achieved/gained from my own experiences and mind.
1. I can respect other opinions, but my own are the only ones I've ever acted upon. This is the key to breaking any addiction I've ever experienced.
2. Never lose the list of 'things I wanted to be when I was a kid'. If you do, make a new one, and actively step towards making it a reality.
3. My realistic imagination will screw me over once only. On the day I when death parts me from this world and I cannot realistically strive towards what I imagine and dream about.
4. In the absence of hunger and security, human beings are creatively progressive or stuck in a groove they want out of. In the presence of hunger and insecurity I cannot formulate an opinion as I've not been there.
5. Epiphanies are important, write them down.
6. Active memories which you describe when you feel wise are different from when you experience them. They bring positive progression. Why do I remember this? What is the lesson that I can learn from it?
7. Drugs sometimes put us in a positive state of mind. Try some at least twice. Be responsible and realistic, understand the immediate world around you before you take it.
8. 'If you don't try it, you'll always wonder' is kind of bullshit. If it's too far beyond your realistic imagination, dream it, but don't live it.
9. The people you love are important.
10. Reasoning with one's self is important. | Don't read it. I ask a rhetorical question to my future (sober) self, please don't answer the question. |
t3_3044ew | relationships | I (F 15) think I might end up liking this guy (M 16), but I have so many doubts? | I'm in my junior year and I've been talking to a guy for close to a month. Over the few weeks we've been getting along and like the dumb teenagers we are, we do make a few sexual comments to each other. So it's going pretty great so far and we talk a lot, friends have commented that it seems he might like me.
But, I have so many doubts: We're in the same friendship group, what happens if we break up? My parents don't allow dating, what if I end up liking him? I'm scared to just be in a relationship because I've heard of all these bad things, like guys pressuring their girlfriends to do stuff. (side note: he's slightly pervy but he would never harass a girl, but I'm scared of being pressured for that stuff) | I'm getting along well with this guy but I'm afraid of what comes next if I'm asked out. I'm just scared of being in a relationship because of all these fears. What do I do? |
t3_2pbq02 | relationships | Me 25 year old male, with the world | How do normal interactions between people take place.
from what i observe, it seems as if people like to tell each other every little detail about everything that happened to them. whether it happened yesterday, or litterally 30 seconds ago, they find it necessary to tell the other person what happened
Im the type of person that just says yes and no when asked a question, and anything on top of that is gravy. but in the real world, people actually listen and try to understand to a point that is beyond anything i could have ever even imagined. I cant sit still for more than 30 seconds, and these people are totally present for hours on end.
and then im finding out that bosses like honesty. i used to try and make every action and sentence i could to supplicate the boss, but it seems as if alot of bosses value the truth. The amount of honesty that goes on in the professional world is something i dont know if ill ever be able to handle. Ive listened to an hour interview, and the amount of detail these people go into is just so fucking much that I question my self. | i lack the basic functions of regular interaction, and am amazed at the amount of thinking that goes on in the real world, and it makes me feel dumb. |
t3_yed9c | relationships | Girlfriend [f25] and I [m26] got a job together. I don't want to keep the relationship. | We were friends for 2 months, then dated for 6 months and have been working together now for 6 weeks.
She got a great job, and within weeks heard of another position that I would have been perfect for. I got the position and because of this we work together indirectly. Only the boss knows were together, who instructed us to not let anyone know were dating.
I can't say i regret getting with her or accepting the job, but it does put us in a potential very messy situation. I'm losing interest in the relationship and in her because of some emotional incompatibilities we have. For the past few weeks I've randomly met different women I found attractive and interesting at random in public. Im not interested in cheating and not particularly interested in immediately jumping into another relationship. I have just been realizing im not very happy with her, making me feel a severe guilt about where the relationship is going.
I feel like im stringing it along for the sake of avoiding situations at work. She's a very emotionally reactive person so I feel like somewhere along the line its going to cause a situation at work where were being reprimanded for personal office issues.
We both need these jobs. Is this going to be a train wreck? Can i somehow squeeze out from under this guilt?
**bold | Girlfriend and I got hired by the same company and Im thinking of ending it but I don't think it's possible to end it without getting messy. |
t3_ept68 | AskReddit | Have any musicians out there ever lost an instrument? | I went to play my bass today for the first time in a couple months and realized it's gone. I scoured the house and it was truly gone. I'm at a loss right now... I feel like a member of my family just died. Is it normal to feel this torn up over the loss of an instrument? Is it because I have 5 guitars (that are all equally meaningful to me) but just one bass? Do I feel guilty for considering myself more of a guitar player than a bass player and not playing it as often as I should've? It wasn't even an expensive instrument; a $200 Ibanez I bought back in high school, almost 10 years ago. I know it's irrational but I'm legitimatly depressed. And I don't have the means to buy another one so I feel like I'm up the creek right now. It's like I've lost a piece of myself. | Bass Guitar disappeared. Super depressed. Feels weird to be super depressed by it. Ninjas hijacked my mother. Are there musicians out there who have gone through this? |
t3_2dkvck | relationships | How soon is too soon for me [21/F] to have sex with a new guy [26/M] | I just got out of a year long relationship about 4 months ago and I am sexually frustrated.
I've been seeing a new guy for about a month, and I really want to have sex with him but I'm afraid that he'll think less of me and I'm also afraid that, well...I'll think less of me too. I was raised in a really religious family where pre-marital sex was considered a shaming offence (they're all hypocrites because the number of unwed single mothers in my family is ridiculous and yet they slut shame other people).
Although I'm still religious, I am nothing like my family and I never think negatively of anyone who has pre-marital sex. However, I judge myself really harshly. I've only had one sexual partner (my last boyfriend) and when I think of having sex with this new guy, I feel so bad, like trash.I used to feel like that after I had sex with my ex as well but I never voiced those thoughts.
I know that it's because of my family that I feel this way, and like I said I never judge anyone else. For example, when my best friend tells me of her one night stands, I just think of how awesome she is to embrace her sexuality in a way that she wants.
However, when I think of myself possibly having one night stands, I just feel like a dirty whore. I'm afraid that if I try to have sex with this guy, he'll think of me as a slut and never speak to me again. I really like him. How soon should I wait for sex?
I'm sorry for so much detail, I just wanted to give info so that you guys have a better understanding of who I am. | I want to have sex with a guy that I am dating and I don't know how long I should wait to have sex. |
t3_3jumvp | relationships | Me [16 M] Feel really uncomfortable in my house with my Mothers [40 F]'s Boyfriend [40ish M] | Okay well they were going out for about a year and everything was going great until a few weeks before the whole incident. Basically her boyfriend (lets call him L) had problems with his back or something and he became really discontent with his job. After a while it became really uncomfortable to be with him around the house so me and my 2 other brothers tended to avoid him.
Anyway when i was at my dads for the weekend he calls me and my older brother to the living room to tell us that he had basically attacked her and left. I felt awful and because of this i came to basically hate him and hoped to never see him again. Later on he ot something like 25 hours of community service for hitting my mum and threatening to kill her then himself.
Anyway recently i found out my mother had been seeing him but she said it wasn't like they were boyfriend/girlfriend or anything like that and i was pretty uncomfortable with it.
He recently came and told me he went to some hospital and was diagnosed with PTSD and that it was not an excuse for what he did but it doesnt make me feel anymore comfortable with him being around. I don't know what i should do | Mums boyfriend beat her and he is back in our lives. Feel uncomfortable with it and don't know what to do |
t3_1bsf8d | dating_advice | Help me win over bi girl that is FWB with another girl | Hey, I need you fine folks' help with this, big time.
I'm a guy (21) that's been chatting with this girl (19) for a few months online. We've hung out a few times and get along pretty well, so it's not like we aren't friends. But, obviously, I want to show her I'm interested in her as more than just friends. Thing is, she's with this other girl (19) who I am also friends with.
I know their relationship isn't super serious and is more like "best friends with benefits", and she's also, in fact, interested in men as well. She's even called me attractive once. I also know they are open to the idea of playing with a third person, so I wouldn't be creating a serious rift between the two.
I just have no idea how I can show her that I don't want to just be a friend while not simultaneously ruining the cool friendship I have with these two girls.
Heads up, they live a good hour away from me, so we can't hang out all the time. We usually chat it up online in between times we can all see each other. If anyone can do me a solid and help me out I would appreciate it far more than you'd ever know. | I like a Bisexual girl that is FWB with another girl who is also a friend of mine. How do I show her that I like her without ruining my frienships? |
t3_slw17 | AskReddit | I almost ripped my cornea off... What's your stupidest self-inflicted injury? | A few nights ago I fell asleep with a contact in. I wear the disposable ones that you are definitely not supposed to sleep in. I wake up the next morning and realize what I did, and frantically search all through my eye trying to find it. No luck. I assume it must have fallen out during the night. I check a few more times over the next couple days, but don't find it.
A few days later I'm doing some yard work and get concrete dust in my eye. I go into the bathroom and proceed to flush it out. I know I have all of it out, but it feels like something is still in there... and I realize it's probably my contact and it's been on my eye for about 4 days.
I freak out and read online that disposable contacts can adhere to your eye if left on for too long. So.. I start trying to get it out. I can feel it, and I can see it moving across my eye. I'm poking, sliding, and pulling on it as much as possible. It's REALLY starting to hurt at this point. I finally get it between my fingers and can see it coming off my eye, but it slips back.
Finally I've had enough, and terrified I'm going to go blind, I head to the Emergency room. It's exceptionally crowded and 6 hours later I finally see a dr. He looks all through my eye and can't see a contact.
Finally he puts some drips in and looks at it through a UV light and yells (I shit you not..) "Oh wow! Hey guys! Come look at this!!"
My cornea was very scratched in multiple places. It turns out what I thought was my contact, was actually me just pulling and pulling and pulling on my actual cornea. almost tearing it off...
So Reddit: What's the stupidest thing you've ever done to injure yourself? | I thought I had a contact stuck on my eye, so I pulled and pulled on it. Turns out there was no contact, I was literally just pulling the cornea off of my eye. |
t3_2jvh1s | relationships | Seriously terrified that my [18 M] girlfriend [18 F] of 7 months may be cheating and/or wanting to break up | So my girlfriend stops texting me earlier than usual at around 10:00 PM. At around 1:00 AM I find a thread on 4chan which was made by a guy seeking advice on how to win over this girl he'd been texting the past three weeks, and included this for his conversation snippet
* Her: Oh ok
* Him: Yeah so that's how I feel
* Her: It's good to let it out! Well I don't really know how I feel, it's like midnight and I don't wanna * try to think about what I'm feeling now
* Him: I don't really know how I should interpret that
* Her: I'm just really tired right now
Now, first I realized that we're in the same timezone. Second I realized that this sounds exactly like her. Responding "Oh ok" or using the word "wanna" or not ending her last sentences with periods. I provide the initials of my girlfriend to the OP and he at first doesn't deny nor confirm them, and insists on not communicating with me. Only in the end when he showed this text
* Him: Hey, do you have a boyfriend by chance? I really like you, but I think I might have stumbled across him? Is this why you're being so stand offish?
* Her: I'll be honest with you... Yes, I do. But I'm thinking of breaking up with him, he's way too possessive and needy. Can we talk about it another time? I'm really tired
did he claim they were the same. I am now very concerned, as just this last weekend I discussed some issues with her about feeling like some of my needs weren't being met in the relationship. Can I just show these texts to her and ask if they're by her? I really want to. I just really need closure right now. | Found girlfriend's texts suggesting a desire to break up via a 4chan thread, now questioning our relationship and whether I should approach my girlfriend with this |
t3_ibu42 | needadvice | Recently found long lost father..unsure on what to do. | so my dad left my mum before i was born because he didnt want a girl, he had a son from a previous relationship, from what i hear from my mum he was a jerk. So a few years ago my half brother Damien (son from previous relationship) contacts from through Facebook. He had only just found out about me through my Dad after 16 years. We met up and have a great day and really got on, but because my mum knew of Damien and knew he was in full contact with my dad, it was awkward to mantain any brother/sister relationship with him as i couldnt have him on facebook and atm he didnt have a phone. It soon drizzled out. 2 years later, i search Damien on facebook and find out my Dad is on facebook....at this point i had only know his first name and had no idea what he looked like. Unfortunately his facebook was privert so i couldnt really look. I cant add him as a friend as my Mum would flip and i dont want to hurt her feelings as she had to raise me on her own. I really want to contact him (through fb mail) and find out more about him and why he hasnt attempted to contact me and bascially who he is, as i know nothing about him, but im unsure if i actually want to contact him as he has never contacted me and he didnt even want me in the first place...
I just dont if i should contact him and if i do, how? | found dad on FB dont know if i should contact him as my mum has told me all my life he never wanted me, hence why he left and he was a jerk. |
t3_1qno8n | dating_advice | [18 M Gay] New to this whole relationship thing | So pretty much I've recently met a guy who wants to be in a relationship however I've only ever been in casual relationships with little to no emotional attachment. I'm not 100% sure I can be in a monogamous relationship however I'm willing to give it a shot for this guy as he is rather sweet and extremely kind. I pretty much need advice on how to be in a relationship and how not to come off as too forward and "crazy" as I would like him to like me and not stop being interested as I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing | New to this whole monogamous relationship thing, would like advice on how to be in one and things to do so you don't seem "crazy" and forward. |
t3_yj961 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I was reminiscing about all of the shenanigans and hi-jinks I got myself involved in when I was, for lack of a better word, younger. Perhaps it's out of curiosity, perhaps I'm looking for ideas, but what are some of the funniest and most clever pranks or gags you've ever pulled? | Here's an example...
When I was younger someone whom I had no respect for and who felt the same way about me pulled an incredibly vicious prank on me (involving buttering floors and what not) that caused me to fall down a flight of stairs landing me in the hospital for a night. I'm not positive if (but am pretty damn sure that) the guy meant for me to get hurt, but regardless, he had messed with the bull and was now going to get the horns.
In retaliation for his heinous crime (And a few month's later), some friends and I proceeded to link all of the gutters on his house in such a way that when it rained, all of the water drained through them and then directly into his room via a hole we cut in his window (I read about this sort of trick in a book somewhere).
Next, being that I live close to this place where you can buy some pretty exotic animals, we decided to spend some money and purchase snapping turtles to place in his room for when it got flooded (not the kind that could take of a finger, but still turtles that could leave a pretty scratch). The turtles were placed in his room by dropping them through the hole in the window and onto the kid's bed (which sat directly under the window) while he was gone.
Finally, the weather station had predicted we'd fall victim to inclement weather; luckily for us not 10 hours later we were crushed by the largest storm to ever hit northern Illinois (in the last decade or two). Needles to say his room was un-salvagable.
I have no Idea how nobody caught us, but believe me I'm thrilled. | In retaliation to a fairly viscous prank, my friends and I turned this jerk's room into a pond complete with turtles. |
t3_1lm2jw | AskReddit | Help with BT-253 error 43 on Asus G51J Windows 7 | Hey so i am trying to figure out how to fix this and i keep getting to sent to driver updaters that cost $40!
My laptop is an Asus G51J running Windows 7 Home
I found an article online that suggested installing wireless console 3 and bluetooth broadcom. I installed both, but when i ran the Broadcom program it says it cannot find the bluetooth device because Microsoft Bluetooth stack cannot be run.
So i go and try to download this and microsofts website wants to confirm that my windows in genuine. (mine is) So i click continue it automatically downloads a program and i run it. It comes up with an error saying that the program is now out of date and please download the new version. There is no way to get through this site. | Microsoft needs to update their genuine checker and i need to fix the error 43. So i can use my bluetooth headset. |
t3_4gorv6 | relationships | I [29M] have trust issues and I don't know what to do | I married my ex-wife at 23, and within a year I found out that she was cheating with my best friend. Divorced her ass.
5 years and many relationships later, I'm dating a nice girl. It took about 6 months before she was ready to "open her heart" and have sex because her last relationship ended badly. And prior to that, she hadn't seen anyone for a year. About 3 months into dating I checked her dating profile because I wanted some of those cute pictures, and saw that she'd been active recently. I gave it about a month but it didn't stop. I confronted her, she cried, said she just liked the attention. I gave her a pass because, well, she was really hot; no better excuse. Long story short, she breaks up with me after a year of dating because she can't handle the big moves my job requires. I respect that and we go our separate ways but still text occasionally. Mostly initiated by her, stuff like "I'm lonely and want someone to talk to." 6 months after our break up, she's engaged! Swears she didn't meet him until after me... but that was fast.
I'm in a relationship with someone else now. Things are great. The problem is that I now have massive trust issues. Not that she's ever given me any reason to mistrust her. I check her phone, find nothing, and feel guilty. Alternate between being convinced she's great at hiding things and feeling disappointed and disgusted with myself. Because of my ex-wife, even letting her meet my friends was a huge step. | My inability to trust not just women, but anyone, is sabotaging my faith in my current relationship and has probably stunted my maturity. How can someone learn to trust again? |
t3_2p7q0j | personalfinance | Car owners of Reddit, I recently went to the dealership, got me in a new car and now they are trying to change stuff up on me. How do I go about having them take it back without it being a repossession? | I've looked all up and down trying to find some answers for this and I can't find anything to make this end. I got a new car and they set me up with the loans and everything few days later bank calls asking for more verification of income to which I said I didn't have anymore then what I gave them. At the point I'm at now I would rather not even deal with them anymore and go get a used car somewhere else. I'm going to mention that its a breach of contract but not sure what else I can do. Would that end all of it or would they just fall back to the original contract and still push that one on me? And if they couldn't fall back to the contract how do I get my down payment back? Any advice would be appreciated thank you! | got a new car bank says I don't qualify for their loan that they gave me in the beginning now they are changing it up and all in all i don't even want the car. What can I do to get out? |
t3_233i95 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Friend [17 F] have been Hanging out. I asked her out, she said "Possible In The Future" | So me and this girl have been going to the city a lot and spending time together for about 3 months. I asked her out last night and she said she sees me as a friend and if anything possibly in the future we could date, but no guarantees. But she told me she doesn't want a boyfriend right now as well. She also told me that shes taking alot of credits for college this year, which is why she doesn't want a boyfriend.
When we do hang out we usually recline on each other and stuff. But even though I confessed my feelings she still wants to hang out with me. Not sure where this is going. Should I continue with this relationship or not? | Should I keep this relationship? Even though she said we could possible be together in the future? but she still wants to go to the city alone with me? |
t3_2tt47n | relationships | Me [18M] and my group of friends [All Males 17/18] have been friends throughout high school so around 4 years. Feel bothered about how one of us has a new best friend | I know this post may sound selfish but screw it. So there are 5 of us in this group of friends and the one that we are all bothered/worried about lets call him Tom. Over this last summer in order to broaden our horizons as a group introduced various characters to our group. Too keep a long story short one of my good friends, lets call her Jane, latched onto Tom in a completely platonic way. Tom has a girlfriend so this is confirmed.
Since the summer they have grown a lot closer. They stopped only hanging out with each other when they are with the group and they aren't shy about being each others best friends around us. Tom has started keeping secrets from the group and would rather share things with Jane rather than the rest of the group. Tom constantly puts Jane ahead of us and I'm pretty sure Tom has talked about us, not sure bad or good, to Jane. And I'm pretty sure Tom would chose Jane over any of us in a heartbeat.
In short I'm asking what should I or the rest of us do? Confront him? or let it be because we are all separating (for college) soon? Any help will be appreciated. | I am in a Group of best friends, we introduce one of them to someone new, he latches on to the new person and we are all kinda bothered by his new "bestfriendship" |
t3_3awqwv | tifu | TIFU by not making sure all the items in my car were properly stored away while the bae on four wheels visited the doctor. | So, this actually happened today. Anyhow, this probably isn't as bad as most of you are thinking. So I just recently bought a new iPod Mini about a month ago so I can jam to my tunes in my car. Well my car had to go to the shop today for an alignment. Typically my car stay clean and clutter free. But this particular time my new iPod was hooked up and sitting in the shifter boot. I forgot it was there and went along with my business in leaving my car at the shop. I should mention I trust this shop and they would never steal anything, hence why I probably never thought of putting it away. Shouldn't move anywhere while they are working on it right? Wrong. Somehow, it slid out of my shifter boot into the crevice between my driver seat and my center console. Well, normally this would be just fine as I could just pull it back out with the cord it's attached with. Well this time it went unnoticed. I would like to mention that the tech working on the car had no knowledge of my iPod even being in my car. It's even likely that I knocked it down there and didn't notice. Anyhow, I'm short and have short legs. So most people have to move my seat to drive my car. Well this particular tech did just that. And in doing so, he unknowingly crushed my iPod. So there goes that money down the train faster than my morning deuce.
Now, before you guys all go off on the shop saying they should replace it. It's entirely my fault and the tech unknowingly did this. Furthermore, I signed a waiver stating that they are not responsible for anything that was left in the car that happens to be damage during her spa stay. | TIFU by not taking my iPod out of my car before it's visit to the shop. Now I have an expensive paper weight. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |
t3_wrfjy | Advice | Looking for recommendations for identity theft protection. | So I applied for a passport at my local post office, and somehow in the process of delivering the application TWENTY EIGHT BLOCKS TO THE PASSPORT AGENCY they lost it - my original birth cert. and an application with my SSN, a photo of me, driver's license number - pretty much everything you need to be me. So, do any of you have ID theft protection? I know some of them have been proven to be pretty shitty, so I was hoping to get a customer's perspective. I looked into [Equifax's Premier Plan] which does credit monitoring and gives you $1,000,000 insurance. Does anyone have experience with them? | Looking for identity theft insurance. If you have it, what do you use? Does anyone use Equifax's Premier Plan? |
t3_4seyn8 | travel | Please suggest a city to visit in Europe. | Hello I will be in Europe with a few friends from July 21st - August 8th, We have decided to go to London from the 21st - 26th departing from London the morning of the 27th then going to a SECOND DESTINATION (or second and third) from July 27th - August 1st, departing the second destination morning of August 2nd to Rome and then flying back home the 8th of August. We like cities that people stay up late, with a good nightlife and a lot of sightseeing. What would you suggest? (If you suggest two different cities please recommend which one to go to on the weekend)
Excluded: Madrid, Barcelona, Paris | Help me pick a destination (or two) in Europe From July 27th - August 1st. With great nightlife and a lot of sightseeing. Excluded: Madrid, Barcelona, Paris |
t3_4c84er | relationships | Me [16 M] with my ex-friend [17 M] who I'm not sure I want to try rebuilding a friendship with | This might be a short post, but my ex-friend and I had a pretty cool friendship. We agreed on a lot of things and had extremely similar senses of humour - down to the words and 'shit theories' we came up with. Our primary difference was in communication, which will come up later - and by later I mean now. A few weeks ago we had a break in our relationship because I apparently was violating a boundary that he never really brought up, which was touch. I am extremely bad at noticing uncomfortable body language, and he never really seemed to give any off. He mentioned he is extremely bad at talking to people about things. So he said our relationship was unhealthy and I also needed professional help for my depression, which flared up and got pretty bad at one point where I lashed out a bit over him going "Yeah we should hang out, I'll ask my parents" then never replying and having it turn out that he just didn't want to hang out.
But my question is that now that I am back in counseling to deal with my depression, do I even want to try to rebuild our relationship? I've controlled my touching with everyone at this point and I don't do it unless invited or its a friend I know who is OK with it. But I just don't know what to do. | Had break in friendship, dealing/dealt with issues, don't know if I want to try to or if I even should mend it. |
t3_51dt03 | relationships | My [f,22] boyfriend [m, 28] doesn't beliveve in long term relationships | Basically I've been going out with this guy a month, thought he was pretty awesome etc. Was starting to really feel something.
Last night we got into some deep talking. He said that he had a cynical view on a lot of things, especially love and relationships. Said there was a very high statistical chance that people don't find "the one" and don't spend the rest of their lives with someone. I know that this is true, but as someone who grew up with two parents who love each other, and with no divorce in my family at all, I have a very positive outlook on love (his parents had a nasty divorce).
He also said that, even though he's never had a 6 year relationship, he believes that this is the maximum time you could realistically spend with another person, he said that around the 6 year mark you'd have found out all you need to know about the other person, and there's no real reason to continue a relationship at that point. As someone whos had a 4 and a half year relationship in the past, I feel the opposite and think that at 6 years you would only love the person more and want to spend even longer with them.
I want to just put this down to the age difference. Am I just naive about relationships? Is it okay for him to feel this way? Should I take it to heart or no? | bf doesn't believe in long term relationships or marriage, has cynical outlook, I'm the opposite but I feel naive about the subject. |
t3_dea2z | AskReddit | reddit- I'm tired of criticizing others for their opinions of ignorance while I hypocritically do the same (even though my opinion is the correct one of course)... | example: I'd consider myself pro-Palestinian, and recently started dating a girl from Tel-Aviv. I can't even bring the topic of the clash up without her referencing how Israel gives Palestine everything they need to live, and that Palestinians use kids as human shields in firefights. I consistently read news stories on reddit that tend to be anti-Israel, and while I'm sure atrocious acts can be credited to both sides, it seems that on the teeter-totter of Justice the Israeli government hovers heavier on the assholes side.
Now obviously I'm never going to convince this girl that her indoctrination is incorrect. However, I'd like to have some more in depth background knowledge of the conflict that isn't rooted solely in questionable articles. Anyone know of any semi-unbiased historian who has written a readable history of this conflict? The same goes for any regions of the world that a non-AP-History-US-public-school-graduate might be interested in knowing about... | I'm pretty sure I'm ignorant. I'd like to know some shit about world history (example used of the Israel-Palestine conflict). Who writes good shit about this shit? |
t3_39sili | tifu | TIFU by toying with my "ex's" emotions. | An hour ago, I sent my friends a picture on Snapchat about how I'm yearning for a loving relationship. The fuck up is that I accidentally sent the picture to "Tiffany" as well.
"Tiffany" is one of my closest friends who confessed her feelings for me a year ago. At that time, I was going through the emo depressed phase and was absolutely flabbergasted, yet delighted, to find out that someone had feelings for a piece of garbage like me. I eventually asked her to be my girlfriend; however, we dragged on for several months without ever doing ANYTHING (yikes I am such a jerk for stomping all over her emotions) - I eventually broke it off, but we are still close friends (just a bit awkward at times).
To make things worse, I am gay ... and she still doesn't know that (part of the reason why we were never able to develop any sort of relationship). Hopefully, I did not hurt her too bad ... It is also important to note that we've both graduated from HS and I'd likely rarely ever see her again. I do plan on telling her the truth though - any advice on how I should "come out" to her? :/ | I am a gay male (also a desperate wreck) who had the audacity to ask a girl (who does not know about my sexuality) to be my girlfriend after she confessed her feelings for me. |
t3_2i7iqs | relationships | So my boyfriend [19M] has told me [18F] that he wants kids as soon as we get our bachelors, but shuts down whenever marriage is brought up? | So my boyfriend and I have known one another for well over a year now, and we started dating nearly 8 months ago. We're both very practical people, and know that we're going to end up married at some point during our lives- however, he wants kids after we get our bachelors just 4 years from now. It's not so much the 4 years bit that bothers me so much as the fact that I don't want to have children before I'm married? I've always thought that it's important to establish the marriage first and enjoy things as a married couple before you throw kids into the mix, but I don't exactly know how to bring this up with him. Plus I think it would be best to take full advantage of DINKS before we attempt to bring a life into this world. I'd even be open to a long engagement, because at least then I know he's committed. How should I tell him that I don't want to have kids until we get married if he's clams up every time I say the M word? | Boyfriend wants kids in 4 years, but we're not married yet- how do I tell him marriage is a must before he knocks me up? |
t3_2yjk1j | relationships | I [19 M] and my girlfriend [19 F] of about a year ended things because she wanted more commitment than I could give her -- now I don't know where to go from here. Any outside perspectives would be great. | We met last year at college, and after about 5 months of just being friends, we decided to start dating. Honestly, it's just been great. No big fights, no major disagreements when it comes to lifestyle/religion/friends, mutual respect, etc.
We got too emotionally involved, however, and I made the comment that I could see myself marrying her about a month ago. I realized right when I said it that it was going too far for where we are in life, but I didn't say anything about it for another week. When I brought it up, it caused both of us to really consider where we saw the relationship going.
The conclusions I came to were as follows:
A.) I do want to get married in the future.
B.) I have no plans to get married soon. (I plan on joining the Peace Corps after I graduate.)
C.) There is no one but her that I could picture myself marrying, and while I think we make a good pair, there are still to many variables at play to tell her that that's where I see our relationship heading without having reservations.
I told her all of this yesterday, and she said that we should stop dating, but by putting a pause on the relationship until we're both more ready to make that kind of commitment. I just don't know what to do now, do I keep waiting? Do I move on? How do we stay friends? | My girlfriend wanted to know that we were heading towards marriage, but I couldn't tell her that without having reservations, so we broke up. Don't know where to go from here. |
t3_1dz8mj | relationship_advice | 22[M] currently seeing 20[F] have a few questions.. hopefully you guys can answer them. | I dont want to make this too long because I actually have a lot of questions but ill try and make it short and simple. So, just a little background me and this girl have been seeing each other for a couple of months now and I think shes really awesome. We hang out at least 3 times a week and text quite often if we arent hanging out. She has always told me that shes into me and things like that. But, I guess where I am a little scared is I feel like I am not reaching my full potential. I want this girl to be REALLY REALLY into me and I feel like I could be doing so much better with myself in this relationship that we have so far.. I know I am probably talking in circles and not really getting to the point.. this also may be better suited in r/self but, I think I dont feel very confident like she tells me she likes me and all this but at the end of the day im like nahhh shes just going to find some other guy. I always second guess myself and stuff. What to do? I know I have some more questions but I guess I cant think of them right now. | Been talking to this girl for a few months and I am not confident in how things are going even though she tells me she likes me etc.. |
t3_31rtmn | Dogtraining | Separation training question. Lock the door or let him roam? | Hey all,
I recently started caring for an 8 mo old Heeler mix puppy. His previous owners were very kind and had good intentions, but they either knew nothing or did nothing in terms of his kennel/anxiety training.
I have reversed whatever negative feelings he has about his kennel (or den, as he now knows it). He now happily sleeps, eats, and chews on toys in there. He will also enter and sit when I ask him to go to his den.
My question is... In order to better help with his anxiety training, should I be locking him into his den while I leave instead of leaving him the option?
I was under the impression that locking him in could reinforce negative feelings with his den, but now that he is comfortable in that space, would he potentially be more calm if he were locked in while I am away?
Right now when I leave him at home his den is placed in the kitchen with the door open. In my home, this setup means he can either be in his den or in the kitchen, so he has a bit of space + his bed. I have had no issues with him going to the bathroom or destroying property. | New pup to my home has learned to love his kennel, but is still having serious issues with separation. Lock the door or let him roam? |
t3_4u74xs | relationships | How to tell my [F18] very religious parents [M48, F46] I'm pregnant? | I just found out I am pregnant. I took four test and all were positive but I don't know how long I am. My boyfriend died right before graduation in a car crash. So at least nine to 10 weeks but I'm not showing yet.
I took these test because I've been feeling sick lately and I thought it was my depression over my boyfriend but I looked up the symptoms and it was pretty close to what was happening to me. So my best friend got me some to test and I took one after the other just in case, all four were positive.
I only turned 18 three weeks ago so yes I was underage, but I was dating my boyfriend for almost four years. My parents won't care though. They are very open about their beliefs and it scares me now more than ever to tell them. Espescially my dad.
He liked my boyfriend fine, but he had his moments. When he gets upset with me, he'll get really angry and scream and it scares me to no end. He's not abusive but still.
I don't know what to do. I'm too afraid to get an abortion. I also want to keep it too. But I don't want my parents hating me for having sex before marriage. I'm really scared about everything right now, I don't know what to do. | I'm too afraid to tell my very religious parents I'm pregnant right out of high school. What should I do? |
t3_2anj3f | jobs | Applied to position that is an online application. Should I go to the location and introduce myself? | I applied for a shift leader position at a chain coffee shop in my area. Their applications are online only. No questions or anything, just inputting my information and uploading my resume.
I feel like online applications provide a disadvantage because I dont know if the manager has even seen it, and its pretty damn hard to leave an impression with them.
Would it be weird/inappropriate for me to go in to the location, introduce myself to the manager and let them know i'm a frequent customer who saw their advertisement inside the shop saying theyre hiring (this is actually true!) and that I submitted an online application?
I'm pretty desperate for a job right now and this one is pretty perfect for what i'm currently looking for ( | cant drive, dont live in a city w/ reliable transit, this is close by and i have experience) so I want to do everything I can to get this position. |
t3_4y3d6y | askwomenadvice | I betrayed one of my best friends trust, but was it for the right reason ?. | Okay so I'm a 25 year old male, about 3 or 4 years ago I meet this woman (22 now) on Twitter, we bonded over shared experiences and the fact she was fairly close to me (3 hours away), we hung out when ever she was in my city but that wasn't often.
The more we talked we came really close and developed mutual romantic and sexual interest in each other, which put serious strain on our friendship when me and her new gf (24) got into.
Because of that we didn't talk for about 6 months untill she contacted me with a problem of her's. Her gf had split from her because she had became an out of control sex addict.
Concerned me and her now ex who is still a close friend of hers settled our differences and shared back and forth the stories to stay more informed on the situation.
She recently found out that we had been sharing notes and just cussed me out for telling her business and talking behind her back.
But was it really the wrong thing to do. | Me (25) and my bestfriend'(22 f)s ex girlfriend(24) shared notes on her sex addiction behind her back and she's now upset we betrayed her trust, were we wrong ? |
t3_4f2xd4 | dating_advice | Dating profiles: Why do women do this? Are men guilty too? | I messaged a girl on pof, and she eventually told me she knows me because I go to her work about 10-12 times a year. I was having a hard time remembering who she was until I had to go there today and recognized the tattoo.
The reason I could only recognize her that way was because she gained probably 60 ( 5'2") lbs since the photos on her profile.
Why do people put photos that are WAY off on their profiles. You're just catfishing the person, and setting yourself up by promising someone good and giving them coal. No, this isn't because it shows you have a bad personality too: You lie.
I even looked her up on facebook to see if its her, and found out the photos are 3 years old. | What is with girls putting photos of them at their skinniest, not their current. Is this a woman only thing? Seems to be over 60% of females. |
t3_2yffr9 | relationships | My partner of four years (M/25) and I (F/24) are having trouble dealing with his druggo brother (M/26) and are trying to convince his mum (F/65) to stop supporting his lifestyle. | I'm on my phone so I'll try to keep it short. Basically, I was luckily enough to find an amazing guy to start a relationship with. Unfortunately he also happens to be related to one of the scumiest people I've ever met. My Brother in law (Sam) has spent most of his adult life in jail due to drug use/stealing cars/destroying stolen cars/armed robbery.
He only ever seems to kind of (not really) sort himself out for about six months before he reoffends and is sent back to jail. If the situation only involved myself and my partner we would have cut him from our lives years ago. However my mother in law gets hopeful everytime he comes out of jail, like THIS is the time he's going to get sober and get a job.
I don't understand why she tolerates his abuse, he steals money from her and bully's her to drive him around and do what ever he wants. When he gets really bad, she complains to us that she has had enough and she's going to kick him out of her house but she never does. When Sam is having a good week, it's like she completely forgets the nightmare of last week and starts believing that he's fixed forever. I just don't get it. She's delusional about Sam but I love her very much. With her persistent to try and fix Sam she forces Sam to be in daily lives (We have considered moving away from his mum and brother, but we would never cut her from our lives).
Has anyone had any experience with dealing with family members who are putting up with domestic abuse from their children? (Be it a 26 yr old). Any tips that either my partner or I could do to help the situation? | drug fucked brother in law causing grief to my partner and his family, but his mother won't proactively do anything to change the situation. |
t3_2rb5m2 | tifu | TIFU by cooking pasta in a rush | I was in a rush because I was leaving for a trip and I was already late. I was very hungry so I decided to cook some pasta. I put water in the pot on a cooker and went to my room to continue packing. Just when I decided to go check if the water is boiling I hear a bang and the sound of breaking glass. I ran into the kitchen and saw glass splinters and raw pasta all over the place. I looked at the cooker and I saw that I turned on the wrong burner. I turned on the one where I had a glass plate with a portion of pasta prepared. Obviously water wasn§t boiling because that burner was turned off. Fortunately no one was in the kitchen so no one was hurt. Except my stomach. I had to leave hungry. | Was hungry and in a rush. Wanted to cook pasta. Made glass plate explode from heat instead. Had to leave hungry |
t3_348lg8 | relationships | Me [16m] with [16] ex-girlfriend of 1.5 years. How do I make no contact work if I see her every day? | Hey, so recently me and my on and off girlfriend of 1.5 years have finally decided to call it quits and I'm lost. I've read up on what I should do and talked to friends about it and everyone says no contact.
No contact hasn't really been working for me, even though I never talk to her I still like her.
The problem is, I see her every single day and she is in half of my classes and catches my bus in the morning. Any advice on how to deal with a breakup where I see the ex every day?. | me and on-off girlfriend finally called it quits. Went no contact but still like her because I see her every day. |
t3_thnqb | relationship_advice | Ridiculous high school drama, but it could cost me a couple of friends. | So I have this friend. Let's call her O. O and I have been friends since about a year ago, but we've grown very close. Enter D. I've had a crush on D since the day I met him two years ago, and we've become friends since then, but he still doesn't know that I have feelings for him. O has recently decided that she has a crush on him, too. Tomorrow night, she's throwing a party and told me that she plans on kissing D as he's leaving the party. Now, if it were any other guy, I'd say good for her, but there have been several occasions where D has hinted at reciprocating my feelings, and almost none where he has done the same for O. I need to know whether I should say anything to either of them, but if I have D, I might lose O. If I don't, then O will have D, and I'll be the awkward third wheel again. What should I do? | Friend has a crush on my crush, is planning on making a move, but crush has occasionally reciprocated my feelings. What do I do? |
t3_nvcni | AskReddit | I love to learn, but don't know what to learn. Help? | Hi! I'm a person who loves to learn. I never had a chance to go to highschool, but I recently got the highest score possible on a test at a GED prep school that was "too hard to do well in, because it's just to see what you know and at what level in the school I should start at". Currently on my own I'm learning 2 languages, teaching myself music theory, and I'm about to start learning C programming. I've already taught myself multiple website programming languages out of boredom and forgotten them because I haven't used them, and a few Object Oriented languages, and I've taught myself some algebra, but now I'd like to add a few things to what I'm learning. I feel I have near infinite potential, and I'm still young (18) and have the time to spend learning things. I am addicted to learning, but I guess due to not going to High School, I don't know the names of things I should learn. For example, I don't know what calculus is, but apparently I've been able to help friends out online with some basic stuff without me even knowing it's calculus. So does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should be learning in my spare time? Links to resources would help too. | version: I love to learn things but have ran out of things to learn that I can think of. Any suggestions or links to resources? |
t3_2rwkv0 | relationships | I [22 M] was sleeping last night and my gf[21 F] was next to me, I called out my exgf name while sleeping and she's mad at me now, what do I do? | Lately, I've been sick and my nose is stuffed and I just been having some weird dreams and my sleep cycle has been weird, from drinking medicine, having to wake up early to go to school, not getting enough sleep and so on.
Anyways, last night my gf was over at my house, we just finish having sex and I was getting a bit sleepy so I guess I fell asleep and idk how much time passed but I wake up and my gf says "this is bothering but what is your exgf name?" And I tell her the name and say "idk why you want to know that" and she tells me that while I was sleeping that I said her name
So she gets mad at me and I tell her that shes being unfair to me, I had no control over what I'm doing or saying while I'm sleeping. To be clear, I'm over my exgf, I don't talk to her, I don't see her, or anything, why I said her name, I have no idea. she came into my dreams but I have no control over what I'm dreaming of
Is it fair for her to be getting angry at me? I would understand if I was fully conscious and I said my exgf name but I was completely unconscious and had no control. | I was sleeping and said my exgf name outloud and now my gf is mad at me, is it for her to angry at me? |
t3_clkaz | AskReddit | Reddit newbie, fresh out of college, wanting to move -- need advice | Yo Reddit. Been a lurker for about a month now -- got obsessed with Reddit because of my younger brother and my roommate. Glad to be aboard with a username!
Anyway, I recently graduated from college with a degree in English (Writing/Rhetoric/Composition concentration) and have been a bit tired of my home state of Colorado for a while now. I plan on going on to grad school and eventually becoming a college-level teacher (professor) after a year or two, but first I really want to move someplace else. I'm okay with working odd jobs to get me by until I attend school again -- so no huge need to nab a job with a degree, though I don't mind that either.
I'm also still young and pretty ignorant about the moving process... I've attended college for 5 years in-state, just 3 hours away from my hometown and have very minimal travel experience. I could probably afford to visit a couple of places and scope them out before I move.
All advice on the following points would be greatly appreciated:
* How do I tell what the cost of living in an area is? How do I calculate if I can afford the move? Is there some way I can get a sense for how strong the job market is in a place before I move there? (I know the job market's supposed to be pretty awful everywhere due to the economic state)
* How do I search for a job or a career in a place that I don't live?
* What sort of advice would you give for scoping out places to live at my destination?
* Any other first-time out-of-state moving advice is very welcome.
I've got my heart set on the following places:
* Washington state (within/near Seattle or any other major city preferably, though I still want 2-4 hr access to the great outdoors)
* Illinois (same as Washington, though I know it's distinctly lacking mountains)
* Canada, though that's pretty extreme and less likely. I also don't know how I would become a permanent resident/citizen of Canada, so any advice on that -- including "Don't do it" -- is very welcome) | Just graduated from college and want to move. I want to move in or near a major city in Washington state, Illinois, or Canada. Please give me advice! |
t3_kxcuc | AskReddit | I'm a month and a half into college and I hate it. | I'm not a big partier.. There's no degree that i can work towards that appeals to me.. I don't find enjoyment out of getting good grades. I'm not a bad student but nothing is fulfilling. I have friends. I don't live very far away from my hometown so every week is a countdown to when I can go home and see my family and be back to where I like.
I don't really know what I want to do with my life, but I feel like what ever i'm doing here is not what I should be doing. I don't really find enjoyment out of many things. (i.e. I like cars but it's just a *meh* feeling about them.. I like video games but it's just a *meh* feeling about them.. I like mechanical things but it's just a *meh* feeling about them.. I like music but it's just a *meh* feeling about them..)
The only thing that I've ever considered to be my *dream job* is to travel around the world doing something that involves a video camera or photography.
I guess my question is, is it normal that I don't like college and am considering dropping out?
I obviously know that most people have no idea what they want to do with their life. But I want to know what to do in the meantime. The only thing college seems to be right now is just a big waste of time and money.
So I'm asking for advice/support on this one guys.. I know I haven't really got a full college experience but from what I've seen so far.. I don't like it.. at all. | I don't like college and find no interest in a lot of things. And I don't know what to do with my life right now. |
t3_4w0op5 | relationships | Me [20 F] thinking about my sister [34 F] that had fight with my BF(23 M) , opinions please ? | My sister is in another country atm, she has a baby(3 y old) with this guy but turns out he isnt around, he likes adventures and parties and he is still moms boy so they ended their relationship.
Now she lives in this one 2 room apartment, pays rent and works 8-10h a day.
She is really moody btw, obviously working every day gets to you.
She often asks me to come over, stay few weeks and look out for her kid/baby.
Now time has come for me to leave home but she wants me to stay more but that wasnt the plan, again, she does this often.
The thing that bothers me is how she likes to say stuff like "if you leave, i have to quit my job and take care of the kid, but if i lose my job I lose my Visa so I gotta go back home and what kind of life will I have" and that then makes me sad and all caring.
She likes to use my good will like that to get what she wants.
She does this with others too, I saw it.
Now the thing is, my BF came over and he was here for few days and he saw her do this often so he confronted her about it and said she is mean for doing that.
He said it in very calm way tbh, he was in attack mode but wasnt yelling, she was yelling and smacking stuff around the room tho.
He spoke the truth, I cant blame him, he is real person, always speaks his mind and tries to tell the truth, but I also would like to know did he do the right thing ?
Any opinions ? | Sister uses peoples good will to gain what she wants, bf confronted her, they argued, I need opinion on situation. |
t3_1s1q7y | AskReddit | How do you get revenge on someone older than you? | **I share my story but I wanna hear more from you guys, how has someone wronged you? and what did you do about it?**
I can begin with my story and I'm looking for a way to get revenge so share your experiences too! So.... Last night my dad attended a meeting in church to cover whatever topics the pastor brought up for the leaders of the church, then some lady (in-charge of child ministry, getting teachers to teach sunday school) said to the entire group that I would come after her two kids and bully them( not true I spend my time with kids my age in church, a bunch of 18^ yr olds) Obviously she said this to defame me and my dad in front of everybody and he didn't say anything. I'm pretty sure my dad was mad since he came home that night and didn't say anything to me; my mom told me what happened.
So I'm wondering how the hell I'm gonna get this lady back, she honestly is in church to just bitch about everything that doesn't go her way, I think she went so far as to have another baby so she could get more attention from people. My plan was to just stare at her whenever she came in and to record her every move even is she see's me so i can catch something good on camera. But I'm open to suggestions lol, so help me get this bitch reddit. | Lady pisses off my dad, pisses off me, I want revenge but I'm thinking about it all wrong. |
t3_4znuk8 | jobs | Option to have my college paid for almost in full, 12 hour shifts of labor on the side.. Advice? | My employment: I work in a production environment doing twelve-hour shifts on and off. To say the least, I dislike my job and it physically puts me in a rough state, lets not even get into emotionally. I've just been toughing it out till I could pursue an more conventional job alongside of college plans in the near future.
College struggle: I need to be truthful, I wasn't on the "straight to college out of school" boat and my parents never saved for my education, yet financial aid may take one look at our incomes and cut up to two years of aid off from the sound of it. I have my heart set on a school, but all in all I will end up wherever I can afford that accepts me, which will rely on my SAT score since I struggled with anxiety in school which gave me rough grades.
The main struggle: So here it is, I've just been notified my company may pay for me to attend college as long as I stay with the company throughout my schooling. Great!...Well..sort of! I really don't think I can handle the stress if I am honest, I have been heart-set on leaving for a month reworking my resume and applying at new opportunities..but..what about that free schooling? I really don't think I can stick it out but I don't want to pass up such an opportunity. I know this is a big emotional rant but is there any way someone could help me sort my thoughts and give advice?
Thank you | Don't feel I can stick it out with current employer but they may pay for me to go to school, advice? |
t3_3nyw7y | tifu | TIFU by killing 300 goldfish | This happened in high school. I had an after school job at a local pet store in our mall. It was an awesome job. Do the chores and you get to spend the rest of the time standing at the front of the store with a puppy talking to girls. Every Wednesday we would get a shipment of fish, all kinds from tropical to the common goldfish. We would always get a large amount of goldfish because parents would buy them for kids or more commonly, people would buy them to feed to their [Oscars] or Piranhas. I noticed that a couple tanks had some [Ich] in them. I grabbed a blue bottle that we use to treat the fish and the tanks that have Ich. A little goes a long a way and the stuff is not cheap. I treat all the tanks and get to the last one on the bottom that had all the goldfish. I start pouring in a the bottle and it slips and the whole thing goes in. I quickly grabbed it and took it out but half the bottle was now in the tank. This is not the FU. The chemical is not deadly to the fish and they would have been fine. The problem was it dyes the water blue, and this much chemicals dyed the water to color of blueberry juice. In a panic that I would get in trouble I had to think of a fast way to fix the problem. Then it hit me. Bleach. So I get the bleach in the back that we used to disinfect the pet cages and add just a drop. It worked! Like a reverse cloud the blue color began to dissipate. I added a couple more drops and walked away in awe of my own brilliance. I went about my other duties and walked by the fish and that is when I saw 300 gold fish belly up. | I overused a blue chemical to treat a tank of goldfish with Ich. I used a bit of bleach to remove the color. Mass murder was the result. |
t3_11gkt6 | relationships | 19[F] told relationship is a disappointment by boyfriend [21] | I've been with my boyfriend for roughly a year. Before I got with him I was with a lot of different partners, it was mostly about sex and I tried my hardest to make them happy in bed and did anything they wanted. It didn't bother me back then because I drank a lot and was always in the mood.
I told my current boyfriend about my past before we got together. He was much sweeter than those others guy, he was a bit shy and awkward and hadn't been with anyone before. We got together and I was very happy. I started to lose interest in a lot of things I did before, I found a guy I didn't have to have lots of sex with to impress and am happyl not doing those things as often anymore. I quit drinking and thought I could have a relationship doing mostly coupley things.
My boyfriend has started to say he is disappointed and upset that I treat him different to previous guys. He says because I'm his first he wanted sex to be important. The truth is that I dont feel the need to impress him by doing stuff like anal because we are already together and happy. I told him this and he said it upsets him that I did things for other guys that I won't do for him and that he feels inferior to them. He says it's hard to love me fully knowing he doesn't get the same attention previous guys got.
Everything else about the relationship is fine and I do love him more than anyone.
I'm not sure what to do about this. Any thoughts? | I tried harder with previous guys in terms of sex and my current boyfriend is upset by this. What do I do? |
t3_1qw46v | relationships | Me [21 M] wanting to break up with my girlfriend [20 F] of almost 3 years. Need some advice. | Girlfriend and I have been going out for almost three years now. Recently we have fought a small amount (she yells and cries and I stay mostly silent). I know I may get shouted down for this, but I never truely felt much of a connection, though I did eventuLly learn to love her.
I have been her first everything, first real boyfriend, kiss, the whole shebang, and has recently started talking about the future. Not in a large scale marriage type thing, but more of a moving out together, own pets, that sort of thing. This is just somewhere that I don't see myself being with her. She also implies that she wants to live somewhere perminantly, whereas I am apprehensive as I have yet to really do anything with my life other than go to university. Since these things have started to be discussed, I have found myself pulling back, because again, I don't feel like we really connect. Though I don't want to let her know that, because I do have feelings for her, just not the necessary ones.
With this in mind, I need some advice on how to finally end this relashtionship. She is by no means fragile but this will be her first ever break up, and I am unsure of how to approach the situation and in what matter I should present myself.
She is currently a four hour drive away, so I am thinking that I may ask her before hand if it's alright that I come down to see her so we can get lunch and talk.
I think she suspects that I am pulling away, as she has started to contact me far more than normal, and trying to sell herself sexually to me (I.e. Telling me about dreams she's had , etc), which for the most part I have been ignoring and trying to play down as much as possible. Should I be trying to stop contact as much as possible or should I continue as normal?
Thank you for any help. | Girlfriend is talking about a future that I don't see myself in, not sure how I should act when breaking up with her. |
t3_tt986 | relationships | Confused girlfriend; transitions are difficult. Would really like some advice, please? | I am a 24 year-old male, dating a 22 year-old girlfriend who is about to graduate college. We have been dating for almost 3 years; the last two years we have been apart for a lot of the time, but always met up for summer/winter/spring/fall breaks.
We had planned to move in together once she graduated... I arrive on campus excited to see her and for her to graduate and she seems to want little to do with me. We finally were able to talk alone and she says that she "loves me, but doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship right now. . ." I became, obviously, quite upset and was shocked. She then says: "I don't know what I want, I'm sorry I said those things, I am just so anxious about graduating."
Ok, I understand that and I do not want to make her graduation any more stressful or difficult, but what should I do? Should I attempt to mend things? Should I just let this next two days play out, then break up? My heart hurts right now. I do love this girl, she is special and important to me; however, it is really hurtful to get plane tickets to see someone and have them basically reject you. Reddit, some sound advice would be appreciated. | Girlfriend begged me to come see her graduate, tells me she is "confused" about our relationship. Stuck at her school, feel trapped. Help, please? |
t3_1sz1h2 | tifu | TIFU by trying to defend myself. | So this isn't a 1 day fuck up but instead several weeks worth.
I am going to be brief with certain events here because I made a promise to Z not to tell anyone what happened and as you will soon understand, it is safer if it just stays hidden. For the same reasons, I have used a thowaway.
A few weeks ago I got a call from a particularly drunken and high Z who wanted to do themselves in so I spent that night making sure they were okay. Despite some very weird goings on where they were angrily responding to comments that no one had said. Due to their unhealthy state.
After that night, everything was perfectly fine until 3 weeks later when this sentence was said "I will always appreciate you. You are one of the best people I know... I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU ARE A PRICK. I HOPE YOU DIE!" and they ran off. Now nothing happened between the two things and I hadn't even had a chance to respond to the first comment.
Over the next few days people started learning why she suddenly hated me. When I eventually found out what the story is, I can assure you that it is a very alternative take on what I did that evening. But it does tie in with the "weird goings on" I mentioned. Now because of the way they have been acting it would appear that they believe this completely so I just tried to ignore everything as much as possible and leave it alone. But after a few too many comments, I said "I am not going to go into what happened but you can guarantee it didn't happen that way. I don't know why they are saying it, maybe it is because of the alcohol." I decided not go into the details because I know that that would be better for Z. And I am beginning to realise that I can handle this better than they would.
Well this got back to Z didn't it. Now Z, along with family and friends is wanting to finish me off for chatting shit. | So from what I can understand, if people chat shit about me, I have to pretend it is fact because any form of defending myself just results in death threats. |
t3_1z0f3j | relationships | My girlfriend (F19) is getting upset with me because I (M20) like to look at porn to help me get off. Been together 10 months. | I masterbate pretty frequently. Whenever my girlfriend is not home, I'll get myself off once or twice. I usually just go on some nsfw threads here on reddit to help me out. But she has a real problem with me doing that, and I don't know how to handle this. She has watched porn with me on one occasion and is open to do so again, but if I do this by myself she considers it basically cheating. I have been masterbating for like 8 years now. I do it a lot, whenever the mood strikes as long as its convenient. We have a pretty good sex life as well. Actually, the problem with it is that I ask her what she wants and she never says anything as long as we are just having sex. I always make sure to tell her what I want which is cool but she is extremely shy sexually. She does not masterbate nor does she ever express any sexual desires. What am I supposed to do everybody? | My girlfriend does not let me know what she wants in bed and thinks that my frequent masterbation/porn watching is destroying the relationship |
t3_u5jdc | relationship_advice | I need help moving on from him.... | My boyfriend of 6 months and I have been on and off. This time its off for good, is what it seems like. During this breakup process, my ex went off telling everyone we know that I was a liar, and thats all I do...mind you, he says this stuff loud enough that our whole class is eavsdropping on him.
We are both 16, btw.
Its like he purposefully brings up topics of conversations that piss me off with the people around us, only when Im around.
I overhear him talking about how hes going to hang out with a girl he knows this weekend, and he makes it obvious he wants me to hear.
He took out a letter I wrote him that he had on his binder, and replaced it with a picture of his name in bubble letters that his ex drew for him.
He will text me about personal things in his life that only I know about, and I tell him I hope they turn out for the best and that he ends up happy, and he accuses me of acting fake, &wants me to "leave him the fuck alone." So I do. I dont talk to him or text him, but lately he's texting me, about the stuff that goes on that only I know about him.
He said last week that these 6months have been a waste, that he wont have an impression of me at all because from that conversation on, he wont think of me again...that I screwed him over more than anyone else & that Im the reason he will never trust girls again.
So I am leaving him alone, but he always talks to me first. Whats up with this?
Somehow, I still love him...I think of all the amazing memories we created and everything we came through together, and I cry...wondering why and how it ends like this.
But I'm sick of his shit, and I'm trying to convince myself not to care about him, not to love him, not to wonder what he's doing or what his opinions are of me.
How do I do it? I really need help :/ But please, be kind...I know we're 16, but please dont be rude or call him an asshole...serious advice only please. | bf of 6 months broke up with me, is trying to make me mad and is doing a very good job at it. Need to move on, but how? |
t3_17zq9q | relationships | My best friend just ended our friendship over a relationship. | My best friend (lets call him John) and I started getting really close about a year ago. We lived together and spent every waking hour together. We were never anything more than friends but we helped eachother through quite a bit.
Through a mutual friend of ours we met a girl (lets call her Jane) and became friends with her as well. We started hanging out as a group with two other friends and John and Jane started dating. They have completely different personalities and she treats guys like shit in relationships so I warned him that I didn't see it working out.
Slowly Jane started inviting our group of friends out without inviting me and after two weeks of dating John and Jane moved into an apartment together.
I went out one night with one of my friends and drank a bit too much and mentioned to him that I didn't see the relationship lasting 3 more weeks. He agreed with me but then went behind my back and told Jane what I had said. Jane then proceeded to start world war 3 with me no matter how many times I apologized. John forgave me and our friendship moved past it.
Fast forward a few weeks and I have started getting really close to another girl that Jane doesn't like. Jane then decides to send me my belongings, delete me on Facebook, tell John never to talk to me again and shows up to my place of business to make a point of ignoring me and treating me like shit.
Tonight I texted a friend saying that I really missed my friendship with John and shortly after received a text from Jane saying that I am gay and need to move on. Then, I get a text from John saying that our friendship is over and he is deleting my number and would appreciate if I did the same. I am a mess over the whole situation and I know I messed up but I have tried to make it right since. These people are in their late 20's and are acting like immature high schoolers. I miss my best friend and want to get him back but at this point I don't know what to do. | Best friend (25M) starts dating someone (26F) who treats me horribly, takes her side over mine (23F), and ends our friendship. |
t3_30nrg9 | relationships | I (21F) really want to go to this concert with someone (20F) I used to date, the thing is, I need my parents permission and I don't want to lie | Hey everyone, as the title says, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. There is this concert that I really want to go to but I would be going with this girl I had a fling with 5 years ago. We are still friends even though we don't see each other so often but that's beside the point.
Let me just explain a little bit of my background. When I was with her, my mother (don´t ask me how she knew, I still don't know) said that she pretty much knew that something was up and that she "trusted me to do the right thing and behave myself". A while later, she pressed me for details and I admited that we had a brief thing but later I backtracked out of embarassment and said that it wasn't anything.
My mother, a year later or so, asked me if I was more sure about my sexuality and I brushed it off, saying that I was more focused on studying than anything. She was happy about that and it became a dirty little secret, if you will. It was never brought up again.
This brings us to the present, I was invited by this girl to go to a concert and I really want to go. I still live with my parents and I'm finishing college so I'm financially dependent and they still have veto power over me. Either I come clean and risk getting myself into an awkward situation or I lie, which I hate, and risk getting caught, which would destroy the trust my parents have in me.
I would have to tell my mother that I would be going with her. That or I would have to lie and say I would be going with someone else. I'm sorry if this is a little confusing, but I'm as confused myself. | I'm in a pesky situation concerning my parents and my sexual orientation and I don't know if I should tell the truth or lie. |
t3_2j2esd | tifu | TIFU spilled coffee and ruined all my shit. | TIFU.
Spent the entire day working on a presentation due tomorrow morning and put in extra effort to complete it before having to go to sleep. So i brought out coffee and was done about 11PM.
Thinking that i had put in a pretty good effort i prepared to go to sleep, brushed my teeth etc. When i came back i moved to save my presentation and WHAM... Coffee all over my shit. My bed, my keyboard and my course book covered in the stuff. In the panic of seeing my dripping keyboard i turned it upside down so that it would spill out and i could clean it up. However, when i put my keyboard over the edge it pressed the "TURN OFF PC" button and the only thing i could do was watch as the computer slowly turned off. At this point i gave up and am i currently writing an email to my teacher explaining why i can't to the presentation. | It's 1 AM and my room smells like coffee so i can't go to sleep. My books are drying on a rack down in the kitchen and an entire day of work is gone. fml |
t3_210gqn | relationships | Me [20F] with my bf[23M] 6 months, my boyfriend is being completely unresponsive to sweet texts. wtf. | Basically.. about two weeks ago we got really close to a break up. More or less, we suck at communicating. He was having issues with asking me for "mental health days" and he felt like a bad boyfriend when he did, and was starting to feel shitty. I was having issues with asking him to amplify the TLC, as I know hes stressed with work and all his commitments, and dont want to be an extra stressor.
So we had talked things out, and basically each went away and brainstormed what we need from the other... and yay! talked about it. woohoo.
And since then I have been trying really hard to 1) communicate my needs better so he has nothing to guess about and 2) give him more space, and be mindful of where his time is going to, and that perhaps he hasnt had a day of just video games in weeks. So Ive been backing off, and letting him take the reins with initiating shit.
But my issue is the things I told him that I need and am not getting is 1) a couple check ins throughout the day, which, mind you, hes trying to do and 2) up the lovin'. thats with sweet messages and little gestures.
but HOLY SHIT hes being unresponsive as eff to my messages. There has been a few times this week where I sent him something thats SWEET AS HELL and he just flat out ignored it. Plus that he texts me like a bro over all. Mind you hes never been one to be mushy. But all I'm asking for is "love you too!" or an odd "im lucky to have you!" IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?
Im getting annoyed because I'm trying really hard to work on our issues.. but yet. I feel like he listened to what I said but is not making an active effort to work on it. I'm getting friggen THIRSTY for love. I know he loves me but.. Hello, what girlfriend is going to feel good about a sweet message ignored? isnt that shit common sense? and how am I going to be fulfilled in this relationship if hes not willing to try? | Boyfriend is not giving me the love and attention I need over text.. Especially upset about ignoring my sweet "I love you!" messages. grr |
t3_10fgvi | college | [META] New subreddit /r/studentgovernment | Hey /r/college! I am a brand new moderator over at /r/studentgovernment.
We would like to invite all of you guys over to visit our subreddit!
So you might be wondering, what is student government? Well, student government is exactly what it sounds like. It is comprised of students just like you! They plan (or help plan) most student related activities, events, etc. They work closely with student activities directors to make sure you guys have some awesome events through the semester.
So how do we (student government) get this money? Remember those pesky fees you had to pay? Well one of them is an activity fee, and student government gets that money towards it's budget. So the more students enrolled, the more money student government can spend on you guys.
Another question that might be on your mind is, why should I visit that bump-in-the-road subreddit? There are like negative 12 subscribers? Plus no content. I will tell you why, (obviously!) you will learn a lot about what student government's do, about meetings, and learn a lot of things to help you when you go out into "the real world." We have some pretty cool stuff planned, and hopefully you will stick around to find out... It might even inspire you to go and run for student government!
Or if you are currently or have ever been on a student government, we would love you input!
Oh, and I gotta do some housekeeping down here... This is a self post, I don't get any karma please upboat for visibility. | Zombies ate my student government, guy took over and made it into a dictatorship. We revolted, causing a giant war between myself and the dictator. Suddenly, a wild snorlax appeared. *** |
t3_20xwpz | relationships | I [21F] just found out that my bf [24M] of 6mo had a threesome when he was younger; I have mixed emotions. | My boyfriend and I have only been together for a short time, but love each other very much and are highly compatible so this is serious LTR potential.
We are both very open with each other sexually, and have no qualms about discussing things we like, would like to try, etc. One of these things for me is having a MMF threesome, but he is apparently not comfortable with the idea. When I initially expressed interest, he said that he would only consider it if it was with another male that he was comfortable with.
Fast forward to this morning, when he casually mentions that he has had a threesome previously, with his best friend (M) and at-the-time girlfriend. I was completely taken aback. I don't understand how it was okay back then but its suddenly different. He says he was young and naive, which I can understand, but I still can't help feeling hurt about the whole ordeal.
I don't know how to talk about this with him so that I will be able to resolve my feelings and keep our relationship happy and healthy. | Bf says he doesn't want a threesome, even though he has had one in the past, and I don't know how to deal with it. |
t3_3lvf82 | relationships | Should I ask my boyfriend [24M] if I can live with him? | I've been dating Sam for approximately 7 months now and "officially" bf/gf for 1 month. I've spent every day and almost every night at his place since 1 month into the relationship. We get along extremely well with minimal mishaps.
Recently (3 weeks) I've found myself without a place to live and he's let me sleep and shower at his place every day and I help with bills. His roommates don't mind. All my belongings are basically always in my car.
I've been trying to find a room to rent for 3 weeks now. I was short money since they cut my hours at work but I got a new job and am making more with more hours. My boyfriend is moving into his own one bedroom apartment in October 1st. I kind of want to ask if I can live with him, like contribute to rent and all bills and food. It would make more sense since we're always together and get along extremely well, plus it would cut down on costs. But I feel like me asking him is selfish in a way? Like its mainly to benefit me, though he'll also have someone to help pay for the place.
Is it worth the risk to ask? Or should I just somehow find my own place? It's only been 7 months. We also both work 40+ hours a week. | I am without a place to live and want to ask my boyfriend if I can move in with him, but I don't know if its a good idea or if I'm just being selfish. |
t3_2fvfni | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of almost 2 years, he doesn't want marriage. | Let me start out by saying I don't want to get married right now, I brought this up to him as a way of seeing where we were headed and to seen if our goals matched up.
I've always joked about having kids with him and mentioned things about our future, even more so that two of his cousins have recently gotten engaged. Today I brought up that we had been dating for longer than one of the couples and he made the comment "if you like it then you put a ring on it", half joking with the Beyoncé song. I jokingly said "oh well what does that mean then?" And he looked at me and said "I have reasons" and then wouldn't tell me them until later on.
About an hour later he told me he wanted to have our own place first and for me to have my own car and then wouldn't talk about it anymore. I went to work and came back and told him we needed to actually talk and not just joke about it and he came back with "we always talk about it, you know my goals but you're always joking about having kids and you're only goal is marriage." I got offended, becaus while I want to get married my goal is for is to be happy together. I got quiet and he finally said "I don't want any of that. I don't want marriage."
Now I don't know what to do. I know it's early in our relationship but that statement is so resolute. I love him with all my heart and I always (and still do) thought he felt the same. Now I don't know. I don't know if I can stay with someone who doesn't want to marry me but I also don't want to give up so soon. What if he is just feeling pressure from his family? | boyfriend state he doesn't want marriage but may just be feeling pressured because of recent engagements in family. I'm not sure what to do. |
t3_tb1ad | AskReddit | Can we talk a bit about the hivemind's apparent hatred of Japan? | I'm looking at [this] thread as a frame of reference but I have seen many other threads exemplifying this type of behaviour.
What I'm referring to is that in most comment threads on articles concerning Japan on r/all, there are a group of people who bring up the rape of nanjing and the various warcrimes committed by Japan during WW2, etc.
I'm not about to defend what they did but it seems very hypocritical and unfair to me to have this exclusive hatred for them and yet most people accept that Germany by this point has been forgiven for the holocaust. I also don't see the same attitude among redditors towards the Armenian genocide, for example.
I'm also not arguing that just because potentially more horrific things have occurred in history that anything 'less bad' should be forgiven. Please don't let this become a petty argument of syntax and choice of example.
So mainly I am curious as to why the hivemind thinks that it is alright to solely express sentiments of hatred for Japan in regards to previously committed actions but to a hugely lesser degree for other states.
For people about to mention the Japanese political right wing, I would like to ask how seriously you take the far right wing of your own country's political movements. In regards to the argument of history textbooks, public education curriculum has switched to new textbooks that paint a much less biased view of events as well. | Read the damn thing if you feel like contributing because I can't get my point across well enough here for you to not try and take advantage of my choice of words. |
t3_nesyg | relationships | Is it okay for me to visit a best friend of the opposite sex who lives out of state? | My girlfriend and I are both 27 and have been dating for a little over 2 years, except for a 6 week break about a year and half ago.
My friend and I have known each other since college, and met in 2004-5. I didn't know my girlfriend had a problem with me going to see my friend. They've met, but only briefly, and she's been a part of lots of stories from college--including a story in which we kissed--in 2005.
I have a best friend who is female and lives halfway across the country. She moved away and I've gone and seen her each of the last 2 winters. It was brought up today that one of my other best friends was going to see her, and that I should go the same weekend. My girlfriend's reaction was "well that's better than you going alone". Even if my friend doesn't end up going, I want to go, even if it is alone because it's a long weekend.
This is how I found out that she had a problem with the fact that I had gone the past 2 years. Needless to say, this started a conversation which turned into an argument. The conversation ended with me being mad because she's mad. I think that she's being overbearing and controlling. She apparently thinks that I'm going to cheat on her, or have in the past, with this friend of mine.
I know the whole "put yourself in her shoes" philosophy applies here, but I think I wouldn't have a problem as long as I had met him and had a backstory that was verifiable, like mine.
Am I being weird, or is she being weird? I don't really know what to think and I don't want to say, "well she was here first, take a hike", but I'm kind of feeling that way. What should I do? | My girlfriend is mad that I have gone, and would go again, alone to see a best friend who is a girl and who I kissed twice 7 years ago. |
t3_m9adk | AskReddit | What is one moment that made you say "Oh fuck, were screwed". | While up at school this past spring semester, I was just hanging out in my apartment like usual playing xbox. I got a text from one of my friends basically saying "dude put any news channel on...wtf". I switched my TV to CNN and all they had was "President Obama to make announcement regarding National Security". I immediately turned my xbox off so I could focus on whatever was happening. Now anyone else that was monitoring this as it was happening knows that the announcement was delayed countless times from when it was initially supposed to happen. So I watched the news for approx. one whole hour, with no one knowing wtf was going on.
My friends and I always go over plans for mainland invasions/nukes/etc, so of course our imaginations were running wild. We were all pretty worried and at one point I started packing a bag of my most important things I had at school in preparation to head home asap. It wasn't until about 10 minutes before Obama actually came on that the news started reporting that the announcement would be that bin Laden was killed. | Watched the news report on an important national security matter for almost an hour until it was finally reported that it was in regards to bin Laden being killed. |
t3_v8w4u | AskReddit | Am I pregnant? If I am then how do I abort at home? | Hi ,
I missed my period by four days, I've been really tired lately and I've been having very tender beast. Yes, my sex life is active. I don't know what to do because I've looked on sites and they said not to take a pregnancy test too early because pregnancy hormones won't show up but I'm so anxious and don't want to waste money. My boyfriend and I can't get any professional help without our parents knowing about it. If I'm pregnant, I don't know if I can trust the abortion clinics about confidentiality because my sister is a nurse and said you need parental consent to get an abortion. But the state law says no consent needed. I really don't know what to say or do . Somebody help me please! | active sex life, pregnancy symptoms occurring, can't take pregnancy test, confidentiality confusion and in need of help! |
t3_2ujvn3 | relationships | Me [30s F] with my BF [30s M] 3 years, he dropped a huge bomb and I freaked out. Help. | So, regular poster, throw away. BF is a redditor. Basic info: Me [30 F] with my BF [30 M] 3 years, he dropped a huge bomb and I freaked out. Help.
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We live together (for about 2 years) and while sometimes we fight things have been overall very good. I'm in school full time and work, and he works full time.
Last Friday I was off work late and was messaging him about where to meet / what we would do that evening. He was being pretty evasive, so I called him on it. What he said ... it just shocked me.
Basically he told me that he wanted to move out and be alone for an undetermined time period because he was depressed, that he didn't know what he wanted out of life(or if he wanted anything). He told me he was tired of faking it with me, and that he needed space.
At this point I was shocked, and I will shamefully add because I have to, that I walked up to the bar and got drunk. Not shit faced, but enough. He came home late that night and I cried. The next day he left for work and I couldn't even manage to get out of bed.
After talking a bit more, I find that he feels that he is having a hard time trying to forgive me for going to the bar and crying all night. I'm absolutely devastated. I also have a paper due at 5 and its not going well.
I found a place to stay for a few nights to give him and I some space. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to break up. He was supposed to be my one. | Boyfriend tells me he wants to move out for a while because he is depressed, completely surprising me. I don't want to break up. I don't know what to do. |
t3_1dqjx1 | relationships | My(17) girlfriend(16) kissed her two friends(girls) and hid it from me, am I wrong in feeling upset? | I told my girlfriend on New Years that her kissing another girl would be considered cheating to me. Apparently in late January she kissed her two best friends while they were all drunk and because she was dared to and she wanted to experiment or just have the experience or something. But that's not the worst part. She hid it from me until two days ago, where she only told me because she was really drunk. She knew it'd make me upset and that's why she hid it. I feel like she cheated on me, and I don't care about the double standard just because they're girls. Am I wrong for feeling like this? We've been going out for around four months now. | girlfriend kissed her two best girl friends while she knew it would be considered cheating to me and hid it for 3 months. |
t3_3k10dt | legaladvice | Landlord is charging $3200 in (unfair) damages after I move out and is threatening to go to a collection agency. What do I do? | This is a post for a friend, living in Mississippi. He and his wife moved out of a furnished apartment last month and now have received a $3200 for damages including replacement of furniture, replacement for counter top and stove and cleaning. I've personally visited the house when the moved out and I know the furniture does not have any damage worth total replacement. In fact my friends took pictures of the entire house (as memories) and these pictures show the house is very much intact and the charges are unfair. The landlord and the manager have two pictures as proof of damages. These 2 pictures show a burn mark on a dining table and a dirt on a stove top. Neither of which are worth replacement. And they do not have any pictures of any other furniture in the house. Even after repeated discussion, they refuse to show more proof or reconsider the charges. I need to add that the landlord also decided to not refund a $250 security deposit they had paid. Now they are threatening to go to collections. The deadline for payment is in a week.
What is the right thing to do here? Should they just pay? Or go to small claims court or approach a lawyer? Or is the onus on the landlord to collect the money and should they just ignore all further requests for money and consider that the $250 deposit is not worth retrieving? (They are not worried about the $250. They just don't want to pay the $3200.) | Mississippi landlord is asking for $3200 in unfair furniture replacement charges. We have picture proof to show furniture is intact. Deadline to pay is in a week.. |
t3_48by9t | legaladvice | Ontario Canada: Question about whether or not it's okay to have the same business name as someone else in another country if we're in the same field | Hi everyone,
I hope this is okay to post here. It doesn't seem as serious as some of the other issues I'm seeing here so I apologize if not. I'm not sure if anyone can help, I'm in ON Canada.
So I was brainstorming ideas for my business name and thought of a perfect one that goes with the field but is also a pun of my name. I googled it to see if it was taken and it is by someone else in the same field. I live in Canada and this person lives in New York. I did some research where it said there can be multiple businesses of the same name in the same area as long as the field was different. For example there's two places in my city with the same name but one is a salon and the other is a gift shop so not much risk for confusion. That makes me think this should be okay, but also might not as we both offer online services and could cause confusion that way because anyone in the US or Canada can use my services the same way they can her's. Plus I just don't really want to do anything that would upset anyone. But it's such a perfect name and I'm really stuck on having that one, especially because I thought of it on my own and then learned afterwards that it was taken. Thoughts? | Is it okay for me to have the same business name as someone else in a different country for my website? Her's would be .com and mine .ca....is that confusing for clients or illegal? |
t3_3le98a | relationships | Me [21F] with my ? [20M] duration (3 weeks?), how to overcome fear of intimacy? | I am 21F who has never really been in a full-fledged relationship before. I have had crushes and "boyfriends" (one in 7th grade, we kissed once, then I broke it off and once freshman year of college for a few months; we only kissed and I once again broke it off).
I have been talking to a guy daily for about 5 months now (we were apart for the majority of this time). He is very easy to talk to and I have never felt more comfortable talking to a guy before (usually once I realize a guy likes me if I like him, I freeze up and become very self-conscious of everything I say or do...). But since we were apart while talking I felt like I could be myself without feeling anxious/self-conscious.
Now that we are both back at school, he is eager to start more of a relationship, and my fears are creeping in again. I'm nervous about a lot of different parts of being in a relationship, physical stuff definitely included. I was wondering if anyone has any advice for how to overcome this fear of being in a relationship or intimate with someone? | I don't really have much relationship experience and am on the verge of one now, but I have a fear of intimacy/being in a relationship. Any thoughts/advice on how to work through this and go for it? |
t3_14l8d6 | relationship_advice | [18/F] I'm falling for my best friend who is also ex's best friend [18/M] | My ex and I dated on and off all through high school. We recently broke up now that we are both in college and other reasons unrelated to this situation. My friend (let us call him Joe) and I met him three years ago but we became good friends within the past year or so. I have always had small feelings for Joe but I put them down because I always had my ex in the picture. I'm sure this isn't rebound and I can't get Joe out of my head, he is everything I want in a friend and a partner. HOWEVER! Joe and his long time gf recently broke up. I know he still loves her incredibly and I probably don't stand a chance, but I'm just crazy for him and I think we should be together. What do I do? Do I keep it all down or tell him how I feel? | I'm newly single, crazy for my best friend who is also newly single and who happens to be best friends with my ex. |
t3_2chcud | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 4 years -- my best friend is [27F] is dating a former FWB of mine [26M]. | my boyfriend and i were on a break about a year ago due to unrelated reasons. we both saw other people and had a rocky relationship/friendship/whatever with each other during that time.
in that time i was casually seeing this guy "Trevor". it wasn't anything serious and at the end of the day, we decided not to become more serious and that was that. we ended fine with no hard feelings. figure that was about 2 months we were seeing each other? at most?
cut to 3 months later and my boyfriend and I are back together. everything is good. we had our issues but we're happier than ever and i can't complain...except, my best gf, "Erin", started dating Trevor after me and my boyfriend had been back together like 6 months. she wasn't initally going to initiate a relationship, but i realized they both liked each other and i didn't care one way or the other, so with my apathy they started dating.
issue now is, my boyfriend feels uncomfortable with the idea of Trevor and only recently has Erin/Trevor moved closer where i'd see them more regularly. so it's been this weird tightrope walk of coordinating hangouts with Erin (if/when i know Trevor will be there) and with my boyfriend. this is further complicated by the fact Erin and my boyfriend have and continue to be friends (though less so now than before they started dating). even when we had broken up, they stayed close and stayed friends.
is it inconsiderate of me to maintain my friendship with Erin? was i wrong in not veto-ing the relationship on girl code? should i appease my boyfriend and phase Erin out? can i get my boyfriend comfortable?
while we have discussed it before i'm looking for outside insight or opinions. i'm sure i can't be that only one in this type of situation...i think lol. help a sister out. | best friend is dating someone i used to see casually and it's awkward getting together because my boyfriend feels weird about it. |
t3_41spa7 | relationships | 20M. Is it common for girls to say they have a boyfriend when they're really just rejecting you? | I recently asked out a girl and as expected she rejected me. She said she was seeing someone, but it didn't really seem like it and I keep thinking that she was just saying that so she didn't look cold-hearted, and the more I think about it the more I'm demoralized/the more I feel hurt. Is it a common thing among girls to say they have a boyfriend/some other convenient excuse just to let a guy down easier? Or am I missing something? I'm already 0 for 3 in terms of asking girls out, and every time I get rejected I keep losing confidence in myself and feel like a loser. | Asked a girl out, said she had a boyfriend, doesn't seem like she does, feeling hurt and have lost confidence in myself. Question is in the title. |
t3_sook4 | AskReddit | Without warning, Youtube axed my director's account because ONE of my 196 videos was reported for copyright infringement. Is there any way to appeal their decision or contact someone who could repeal it? | [Here's my channel.] As you can see, it's a channel for archiving radio and video interviews. I've been building it for some time and I've got a nice group of Radiohead fans subscribed to me as well.
Long story short, exactly what I said in the thread's title happened. I uploaded one video and it got taken down almost immediately. After a few days, I noticed that I couldn't upload full-length (longer than 15 minutes, that is) videos any more. Which cripples my channel immensely.
There are a couple of things I'd like to make clear:
1. Yes, I know that my channel is very much in gray area as it is. I try to be as careful as possible, though. I edit out any music or otherwise clearly copyrighted material that some of the recordings have. I also don't profit (Youtube has offered me the chance to monetize and become a partner, I have declined) off the channel, it's purely for archiving videos and audio that might otherwise be lost.
2. I'm not arguing against the fact that what I uploaded infringed someone's copyright. I'm just gutted that they punished me so severely without any prior warnings, especially considering my track record (195 videos without any complaints)... | Youtube channel got crippled, unjustly and without any warnings, any way to contact Google/Youtube to reach a compromise? |
t3_3qbbnr | relationship_advice | I [23M] need advice on what to do about a guy [26M] | I find one of my friend's friends pretty attractive. Now I don't use more than just common sense ways to find people I don't know, so I did just that. I snooped around on Instagram until I found the guy. So, now I know his name and that's that.
Fast forward to yesterday. I was on grinder because I have nothing better to do with my spare time apparently. I get on there to gauge my surroundings. I have never hooked up with anyone and I always just chit chat PG-13 conversations at best. Well, yesterday I changed my display name to "message me [Name of person I find attractive]".
Jokingly, I thought he wasn't even on there and was actually straight. As I say hi to someone on there the person responds with "you're not [name redacted]".
To which I responded with the "of course not. I want him to see this and message me" option.
I fucked up in a couple ways. One, I shouldn't have changed the display name to that for everyone to see. Secondly, the actual person thought I was impersonating him and didn't get what my name was suggesting, that he simply message me specifically.
I've talked to him on and off since yesterday, but he's very unsettled that I had that up. I've tried convincing him of my story, telling him where is seen him and who my friend is that's friends with him. I haven't heard anything back in a while and I was wondering if you guys had advice on what I should do from here to mitigate damage. | Found a guy cute. Found his name. Asked publicly for him to message me on grinder. He mistook asking for me impersonating him. I need to do serious damage control. |
t3_3dy2dc | relationships | My[19m] fwb [19f] wants boundaries along with an open relationship. | This all started last summer at my new job, where I was lifeguarding with quite a few good looking girls. One of them I started talking to eventually asked for fwb, as we had just discussed coming out of rough relationships. Things were all good for the summer, we hung out, had some really good sex, and eventually it was time to go to school. At this point we both knew we liked each other more than just friends but were not ready to commit. So we maintained what we had going on (still staying in contact) while having our own fun and adventures at separate Universities. Now we're that back from school, and have been hanging out more, we realize there's some feelings thrown in there, and the topic of this upcoming school year was brought up by her. She wants a relationship where we can hookup with someone at a bar with no reproductions but no sex with others for "health reasons". I'm having a hard time figuring out what to say, as last year I made sure to stay healthy (condoms and checkups) and I dont beleive either her or I are willing to commit to something more serious or willing to give up that part of our lives yet. | Fwb from last summer wants a semi-open relationship and I think neither her or I are ready for any solid commitment. |
t3_1u01bj | relationships | I [19M] am falling for a long time family friend [19F] and scared to complicate things. | Theres this girl I know. I've known her for 9 years, since we were both 10. Both of our families are extremely close. My sister and I spend a TON of time with their daughter and son. Our parents spend a lot of time together as well. They're my second parents, and their children are my second siblings.
So over the course of these 9 years, we have become such close friends that we tell each other almost everything. For the past 2 years I've had feelings for her but I have been in self-denial. She says I'm basically her brother and that has made me hesitant.
Currently she has a boyfriend but that's not the issue. I know her well enough that their relationship wont last. But when that relationship goes down I want to be with her but I've got a few worries. Worst case scenario, she says no because I'm like her brother, and things become awkward with her, her brother, my sister, and their parents. Or if she says yes and things don't go as planned and things get weird with all the above people.
I'm really confused on what to do and I don't want to share such personal information with my sister or mother (my usual go-to's) because they're too close to the girl. | I have feelings for a girl I've been very close friends with for most of my life and I fear we're almost too close for me to act upon it. |
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