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[INST] Jokes on you, I can’t afford one [/INST] What if we told you..... you could rent it.... and then we would pick it up from your body when youre done?
[INST] Robinhood is the broker [/INST] Thanks
[INST] Pretty sure he's asking about the situation where he'd have to sell the contract at like .01 or .02, and he owns so few that commission will eat up anything he could get out of it. For instance, with Etrade's 6.95+.75/contract, if he's selling at .01, he loses money unless he's trading ~28 or more contracts. [/INST] Thats why you let them expire worthless. I have had spy puts that let expire worthless cuz they were otm and I would have end up paying more selling them.
[INST] It's simple math, stupid. That's why the smart investor steers clear of Google, Amazon, and Apple and only trades penny stocks. A penny stock only needs to increase by one penny in order to double your investment. Then on the flip side it can't go lower than one penny since a penny is the smallest money that exists. It's basically risk free. [/INST] Dump life savings in biotech confirmed!
[INST] no, the company that builds the ETFs charges a fee, it's generally .44% annually [/INST] Seems not too unreasonable for the convenience of tracking a market. I don’t have time to actively trade and follow the individual stocks.
[INST] Amd calls and puts both get fucked worthless they know the range just to fuck with retail traders [/INST] Can confirm. My AMD calls are fucked. Hoping My MU calls are salvageable.
[INST] Sorry for your loss. Had puts and closed. [/INST] Nice! Last week was nice... this week... hopefully his statement and news of the Model Y will save my 4/27 calls. Lol.
[INST] Slipped on a banana peel [/INST] Walked on a lego.
[INST] You lucky sonofabitch. Too bad you'll never be able to read this. [/INST] My GS Bank savings account just announced 1.6%... been blind for a while, but pretty sure I'm going deaf now, too. Been dumb for a while, though, so trifecta complete?
[INST] I was banned for pointing out communist countries used money. [/INST] ROFL
[INST] I'll trade you my GOOG for your AMZN [/INST] Nah man I already have a GOOG, give me a MU instead I don't have that one
[INST] They dropped the bombs on Syria last night and (very) early this morning. [/INST] WTF, no they didn't, not the US anyway.
[INST] Your broke still, just in the future. [/INST] how do I short /u/smallatom???
[INST] Entertainment 🍿🥤 [/INST] 'Dance for me, autists!'
[INST] I've read that getting Robinhood Gold speeds it up, but I can't say for sure. I will say I only got options after I got Robinhood Gold. Also, I believe successfully inviting people speeds it up (i.e. your referral link). [/INST] I wrote them and asked and had it in an hour
[INST] Straddles be a good option right now? [/INST] No. Shits been going sideways for days. You need a drastic move up or down to profit... otherwise theta burn. peeps talking iron condors but shit sounds like some medieval sex position to me. But hey, wtf do I know.
[INST] J [/INST] D
[INST] That's fine Macabilly, [peace out!](https://www.amazon.com/Giant-Party-Store-Disposable-Helium/dp/B00SV9LQLY) [/INST] I love this suicide bot, it both causes, and attempts to prevent, self harm
[INST] you ever hear of a little boy named warren buffett? rumor is he's like... super rich and a really smart investor idk he's probably just some fuckboi, his website looks like shit LOLz [/INST] The hobo of Omaha
[INST] We need a dumb working class. Not a huge part of the population but you need them to just work and not move up. [/INST] Yep, hence why the education system doesn't educate you on how to become rich but to just become another 'cog' in the system. Luckily we're autist af and said fuck the system and instead gamble our money to make more (or lose it all but ya know...)
[INST] [But of course.](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/304/695/895.png) [/INST] DELETE THIS
[INST] Uh I’m not sure you understand how to use this meme correctly [/INST] what a mess I can't even make out how he thinks it works
[INST] Oh, no we don't have that for DWIs. It does exist for first time minor pot charges and that's about it. [/INST] And you would know about the minor pot charges how?
[INST] So he's not guessing wrong? Or he is? [/INST] Right!
[INST] Underrated comment. [/INST] How?
[INST] London fag here, easy boi [/INST] We’ll accept y’all as the 51st state if you proclaim fealty
[INST] You'd think elementary school would take care of that but apparently not. [/INST] Went to public school on the east coast of America for 13 years. Nope. Had to learn about that shit from Modern Marvels.
[INST] We’re not sure if he’s a troll, or paid Trump shill. Either way he mostly lurks in conservative subreddits to defend Trump from criticism, quite vehemently. If not, he’s usually claiming to be a nuclear engineer or small business owner or foreign investor or injection molding salesperson or political polling expert, probably more added to the list at this point. [/INST] Sergei needs to eat glorious kalashnikov.
[INST] >> Right now we're assuming that every spin is just as euphoric as the first. Do you know what sub you're in? [/INST] r/bestiality ?
[INST] I can't even see what you're writing anymore [/INST] He's blind. Let's rob him and leave him in a ditch.
[INST] I got in way too high on $60 calls for 5/20 so I'm riding this out. [/INST] $MU will hit $400/share by tomorrow night you're fine.
[INST] what vast sum of money? People can't even agree on how much money he was given. Some say it's 1 million, and others say it was 300 million which would be weird because his fathers entire net worth was 300 million, and he had other siblings. That's why I say it really doesn't matter to me, all I am saying is the guy has to be somewhat clever to have the success he has. [/INST] He was given money at different points in his life. Trump is on record saying something to the tune of “my dad gave me a small loan of a million dollars.” I mean, all the financial publications have agreed on what and when he was given. I’m not sure what you’re referring to, that people don’t agree. If it’s reddit, then you have your answer. Ask for citations.
[INST] Nevermind, can't read a map. At first glance I thought it was near the South China Sea [/INST] The blue is land, buster
[INST] my micron calls were up 40% so I closed. AMD calls still losing [/INST] My Micron was up that much as well, tried to close and it started sliding away from me. Just gonna wait and be greedy, see if we get just a little more green before it all crashes down again.
[INST] If it runs up today and tomorrow, selling tomorrow. If it doesn't, I'll hold through [/INST] I just have this bad feeling its gonna shit the bed after earnings
[INST] $28 ... let's hope it can go a bit ITM. [/INST] 28 and $28.5 calls are cheap AF. I bought a few of each just for the shit of it.
[INST] It's a joke, but yes you are allowed. My broker requires 100k minimum account though [/INST] I would shit my pants.
[INST] Wow - yea, maybe I'll buy 5 contracts just for fun. [/INST] Right?! They were at $0.04.
[INST] Fucking quality shitpost and these faggots can’t even appreciate it [/INST] Right? It’s like they’re actually autistic instead of just borderline autistic.
[INST] If I can get close to break even soon then I'm SO taking a break from this market. [/INST] I’ve been saying that for the past 10 years. Best of luck!
[INST] Haha BTW $SPLNK is climbing even higher. No clue why you sold that for peanuts. Could have made 50% more had you held. SAD [/INST] Because gambling on a massive increase isn't rational. I have a REALIZED gain
[INST] Truly 4D Chess [/INST] The Best President in the last thousand years! Winning
[INST] We bomb Syria, we go to war with Russia. We go to war with Russia, it's a damn good chance WW3 starts. WW3 starts, it's a damn good chance nuclear warfare starts. [/INST] Except Israel bombed syria like a week ago and didnt start ww3. Also, weve already sent tomahawks into Syria and not started ww3. We bombed the shit of Russians in Syria and killed some and Russia didnt do anything because theyre cuck faggots, just like you. Edit link: https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/02/13/world/europe/russia-syria-dead.html
[INST] The problem is you’re forgetting how stonks work. They either go up or they don’t. Nothing you can do. So it’s always a 50/50 chance. [/INST] Markets are random, nobody makes any money, wall street has to get their suits from the corner store. Trust me my uncle told me and he's never wrong!
[INST] They lack Vibranium. [/INST] And people with IQs above 70.
[INST] Not bad [/INST] Can you give us any tips?
[INST] 'When you accidentally tweet your attack plans, be sure to immediately backpedal and somehow praise yourself' - Trump Tzu, *The Art Of The War Deal* [/INST] Grab Russia by the Pussy or I am Russia's Pussy! Keep em guessing!
[INST] https://i.imgur.com/n8umjWj_d.jpg [/INST] Needs more pixels
[INST] /////// SIDEWAYS /////// [/INST] BAC is up 2.6% my ninja! 'Chu mean sideways
[INST] In light of facebook privacy disaster, y would u ever link ur account to an outside service?? [/INST] Yolo
[INST] Agreed, it's seemed like a great short for over 3 years. So fuck being short that asshole. [/INST] The time has come I think, but who the fuck knows. Maybe Elon can raise another bazillion with model Y.
[INST] Where does the information on US Options come from? Do investors other than retail have access to options or some proxy premarket? [/INST] My guess is they're recalculating the option price based on the IV at close and the pre-market underlying price changes.
[INST] What? That is one handsome woman. [/INST] I'd bang her, even the guy on the left is ogling over her
[INST] Nah, your margin buy power on schwab is the total value of your account. I'm not sure if u have 12.5k cash and 12.5k margin if that covers for 25k minimum to day trade. But at a 3k account definitely cannot day trade. [/INST] > your margin buy power on schwab is the total value of your account No, it's 2x overnight.
[INST] But I'm the buyer of the put option? I buy 100 shares and they may or may not buy that shit from me? [/INST] I misunderstood. If you own 100 shares already, then buying a put gives you the right to sell them for the strike price. If you cannot afford 100 shares, you can still buy the put, and then sell that put for profit or loss with no strings attached
[INST] Or ban? [/INST] There is no upside for me with a ban. When someone said we should buy reddit gold I was all in but I don't think anyone else wanted to do it.
[INST] I'm not memeing, I think that boat has sailed. If you're just buying MU right now there are better short term investments to make [/INST] i bought some options but there is 0 chance i hold through earnings
[INST] Rookie numbers dawg [/INST] That's why the title says 'nothing happened.'
[INST] tomorrow shall be interesting, I'm hoping to see it plummet [/INST] Same. Not OP but I bought some puts yesterday.
[INST] Why send it back though? [/INST] so that 'Everybody eats.'
[INST] You can do that too yes, I just send the online documents that all 3 brokerages let me download to the tax accountant, and he did it all in like 2 days. Done, Less than $300 for his fee. Taxes finished. [/INST] Y 3 brokers? I have two fidelity and td. I only keep td caz of an old Roth I don’t feel like paying 50 to transfer over
[INST] If a couple hundo lost can prevent the deaths of a couple hundo thousand lives, it’s a fair trade IMO. [/INST] we salute your peace efforts.
[INST] I just don't trust gold bugs, period. If someone tells you to pull out of the market or to invest in some foreign market instead, fine, but when they start pimping out gold and they have been doing so consistently for the past N years, they can fuck off. [/INST] Well I've been very anti-gold for the past couple years but it's looking like a solid investment in the near future, mostly as to help hedge beta. I'm fine with gold or equities, as long as there are tendies for dinner
[INST] Honestly I think the media is doing exactly what he wants lol. If they keep hyping up that he will start WWIII even when he does jack shit it makes him look threatening to the countries he’s threatening, even if it’s all talk. At this point idk wtf his plans are lol. Then again, nobody else does either. A lot of us voted for the wild card and we sure as shit got it [/INST] I just want to make it to the next guy without getting drafted. That'd be a successful Trump presidency to me.
[INST] Hope MSFT keeps it going [/INST] I cashed out my calls 2 days ago, you're welcome
[INST] I am unironically crying my 55.5 apr 28 calls might not expire worthless. I honestly don't even care about the money I'm just SO happy to see MU on an uptrend. We've been through alot [/INST] > I honestly don't even care about the money You're a dirty filthy lying piece of shit, fag boi.
[INST] Merill prime is for professionals or institutions... Merrill Edge is for individuals [/INST] No, merrill prime is only for the most primed, select group of wsb members, just call em up at (212) 945-3834, and ask for 'Moynihan'
[INST] I actually start every cardio session with a glance at my student loans. [/INST] Lmao
[INST] U wonder why he lost money [/INST] I realized his losses for him. F
[INST] >Worst thing that can happen is Will Ferrell or Ashton Kutcher *cough* Adam Sandler *cough* [/INST] ROB SCHNEIDER **IS** THE BIG SHORT
[INST] TIL 57% = 50% Got it. [/INST] 53% of trading days close green, seems in the range.
[INST] How do you think I recognized you? [/INST] Takes a faggot to know one?
[INST] trading weeklys is your first mistake [/INST] Yah, but weeklies are fun until they're not
[INST] I play nothing but indexes. Forget all other companies and stocks. Just play only the indexes. It's amazing when you just focus on one. Well.. lets see where this goes, stay tuned for my post! [/INST] Hey, if a stock is beat to shit and shows some promise like FB then I'm all for going in on individual stocks, ETFs, etc. For the most part I stick to SPX though. Don't even buy options on VIX, just buy HVU as a hedge and take the 10-15% it jumps here and there when we get those massive swings downward.
[INST] I brought down the biggest bull market in history with my $618 investment that's now down to $77? Should I feel proud or ashamed? [/INST] oh so you were the guy?
[INST] I mean, AMD when it was that low was a very different company. How long ago was that? [/INST] In a couple weeks it will be 2 years. Ryzen was coming. Su had taken over.
[INST] Boehner going in on weed and saw a report that 90% of the NFL smokes at lunch today. Hell, I’d put on a maga shirt if he legalized [/INST] make america green again?
[INST] warning, a lot of numbers: https://i.imgur.com/DY1g7js.png [/INST] Nvm need some sort of Michael Burry here to interpret what's going on in that pic
[INST] I fully admit I am mediocre when it comes to real estate, which is why I dont even try to play that game. I know much smarter people than myself who got dicked hard in 2008. Though to many the 2008 downturn was clearly coming, or at least that’s what they say now. [/INST] Yeah I mean, everyone is mediocre (obviously). People lose money to the markets when seemingly illogical things happen. If everyone was making moves like a drunk poker table at 3am, the volatility would be so high that the banks wouldn't even play the game. They count on you sticking to fundamentals and logical human nature.
[INST] That would have been me, I'm sorry [/INST] Next time hand him a rope. Autists love the feel - especially around their neck.
[INST] Well they do say you are a reflection of your 5 closest friends... [/INST] I don’t have 5 friends
[INST] Nah, I wanted to lose 94% in 2 months http://imgur.com/FDlNWiI [/INST] That’s actually very impressive, imagine if someone did the exact opposite of every trade you made
[INST] Yep, hence why the education system doesn't educate you on how to become rich but to just become another 'cog' in the system. Luckily we're autist af and said fuck the system and instead gamble our money to make more (or lose it all but ya know...) [/INST] I had to learn to reprogram myself into trying to become financially independent. My whole life I was told that I have to go to college and get massively in debt for a job that may or may not pay in the long run and become a wage slave. None of these methods will get you rich.
[INST] Hi smart, I'm dad! [/INST] Bad bot
[INST] It's DiGiorno [/INST] That sounds like a cheap supermarket housebrand espresso
[INST] I would shit my pants. [/INST] There's a lot of shit pantsing in this sub
[INST] I got an 8🤷🏼‍♂️ [/INST] Together you guys got a twenty which is still technically retarded, congrats
[INST] No, but that is one way I did forget to mention! go figure! but seriously, it's not futures, the one I'm talking about isn't really fun but you can still day trade with it. [/INST] Trade from a broker in another country
[INST] Jesus [/INST] You said it.
[INST] If you could time it. [/INST] This is WSB We can leverage our autism and combine in the same way the power rangers do to form Dr Christian Bale.
[INST] You have no idea what I do, do you? hehe. [/INST] Well done you made money again with puts lmao
[INST] I just have this bad feeling its gonna shit the bed after earnings [/INST] Yeah, I sold today. The last few 1q earnings it has dropped fyi
[INST] I’m speechless. [/INST] I feel sorry for you. One day you'll get there.
[INST] https://www.wsj.com/articles/white-house-plans-to-escalate-trade-pressure-on-china-1523573253 [/INST] New article, old news
[INST] Not everyone can be that big cock [/INST] Have*
[INST] At first I thought you were going to say they fucked you over but I completely agree. We had a lady come in with a coffee maker we never sold, no receipt, and was CLEARLY used beyond its lifetime and she was a bitch and my managers still compensated her. Yes, BB&B loves throwing away money just to please their customers. [/INST] Terrible business model, but this is a good LPT
[INST] HERE LIES WARREN BUFFET 1918-2018 he wasn't the hero the stonk market needed, but the hero the stonk market deserved [/INST] F
[INST] We'll buy his book one day [/INST] *Memoir of a murder-suicide.*
[INST] Or narcissistic [/INST] Or all three
[INST] Idk wtf you're talking about. It's from [BASEketball](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0131857/) [/INST] You are all wrong. It is from my pal Rob Schneider in the ultimate WSB fag movie, 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry'