| [Keyword: Greeting] | |
| DocRobert: Well, it looks like the cavalry's arrived! Come to check up on what's happening here? The name's <em>"Painless" Doc Robert</em>. Don't let the name fool ya. I can be a plenty big pain in the ass when I want to be, it's just not my specialty. HA! | |
| DrQ: I too try to engage the matters at hand in the most painless way possible. But sometimes to relieve pain at one location, pain must be inflicted at another. | |
| DocRobert: Let me guess: Acupuncturist? | |
| DrQ: Among other things. | |
| Reaper: Pain is nothing but a sign post pointing toward the final destination. | |
| DocRobert: Charming. You must be a hit at parties. | |
| Larry: I've got a pain that needs a little treatment. A little voyage dans la lune if you catch my drift. You think you can help me out, doc? | |
| DocRobert: I know the perfect bullet for you, my boy. But sadly I'm all out of stock. | |
| DocRobert: Anyways. What can I do for you, fellas? | |
| [Keyword: Greeting] | |
| DocRobert: Well, well, if it isn't the wild bunch. What is it this time? Looking for meds or looking for trouble? What can Painless Doc Robert do for you? | |
| Tex: We much better than Wild Bunch, partner. You see when I make movie about us! | |
| Larry_Clean: I'm always looking for meds, but what I usually find is trouble. | |
| Scope: We're always looking for trouble, love. It's in the job description. | |
| [Keyword: Greeting] | |
| DocRobert: Hey, hey... the wild bunch is back in the game. I didn't expect to see you again. | |
| Magic: Well, I didn't expect you'd see anything at all with those glasses. So I guess we were both fooled. | |
| Shadow: Not my first choice, either. | |
| Wolf: What can I say? I guess we just can't quit you, Doc. | |
| [Keyword: What happened here? Why is everybody dead?] | |
| [Keyword: Who are all these armed men?] | |
| [Keyword: You're behind this, aren't you?] | |
| [Keyword: Redirect] | |
| DocRobert: I'm afraid things took a different turn while you were gone. These fine gentlemen came here all the way from <em>Landsbach</em> to be our new hosts. | |
| Meltdown: If those guys are gentlemen, then I'm a goddamn princess. | |
| Omryn: New hosts? Like... dinner hosts? | |
| Blood: I don't think "gentlemen" is the right word for them. I would describe them as "scuzzballs" or "people I may have to kill soon." | |
| DocRobert: ...And my new disease hosts, though they don't know it yet. But as <em>Dr. Kronenberg</em> says - if you interfere with an experiment, you become the experiment! | |
| Grizzly: That's sick, Doc. | |
| MD: That's... awful! What is wrong with you!? | |
| Grunty: That is horrible! Does your mother know what you do? | |
| DocRobert: Speaking of interfering, I'm afraid your days of sticking your noses where they don't belong are over. Time for the wild bunch to meet their inevitable, bloody end. Guards! | |
| [Keyword: What's happening in this town?] | |
| DocRobert: Oh, you know, the usual drill. Small fishing village where people's attitudes towards personal hygiene range from ambivalent to hostile. And now they are dying, surprise-surprise. | |
| Fox: A filthy mind is one thing, but a filthy body is disgusting... Unless it's sweat - a nice, glistening sheen of sweat... | |
| MD: Unsanitary conditions can easily lead to the rapid spread of disease. Do you suspect it's an epidemic? | |
| DocRobert: An epidemic of filth and carelessness is about all I'm sure of right now. | |
| Barry: I have field manual on hygiene if you need. | |
| Grunty: If it would help, I can arrange an emergency delivery of soap and foot powder. | |
| Buns: I made an instructional video on the importance of personal hygiene. It's called "Clean and Fresh for Success." I shall send you a copy. | |
| DocRobert: I'll be counting the days until it gets here. | |
| Thor: It sounds to me like these people need to reinvigorate their auras with a good colon cleanse. Here's what I like to do... | |
| DocRobert: Please. Stop. Just write it down for me and I'll look it over later. Okay, Dr. Moonbeam? | |
| [Keyword: What is the cause of all these deaths?] | |
| DocRobert: Natural causes not good enough for you, eh? | |
| Reaper: Dying is as natural as living. The two of them are inseparable. Like two lovers swirling in an endless dance. | |
| Gus: Dang, Woodstock, can't you talk straight? | |
| Buns: We would like answers, not jokes, Doctor. Give us your expert medical opinion. | |
| DocRobert: Just kidding. Well, if it's a disease it's not any one I'm aware of. No traces of poisoning, either. No contamination in the water. Now, you may have noticed that the locals are a little superstitious around here. They're simple-minded country folk. | |
| Nails: Hey, man. I'm a little bit country myself. | |
| Larry: If you saw the shit that I've seen you'd be superstitious too, man! | |
| Omryn: A little superstition is good protection against calamity. | |
| DocRobert: I, on the other hand, am a man of science. But God, or whoever is in his place, as my witness: I can't find a single scientific explanation for this carnival of death. | |
| Thor: That is because science moves us away from nature. It is only by moving towards nature that we achieve enlightenment. | |
| Fidel: Ooh! Dia de Los Muertos! This is Fidel's favorite holiday. I bring many gifts of death! | |
| Steroid: I went to a carnival once and found out the strongman game was rigged. It did not start out as a carnival of death, but I made sure it ended that way! | |
| [Keyword: Can you provide medical aid?] | |
| DocRobert: Sure, why not. I'm sure your mission is more important than mine. All these dying people can wait while I kiss your boo-boos. | |
| [Keyword: What can you tell us about Voodoo?] | |
| DocRobert: Bunch of baloney, if you ask me, but don't take those crazy-ass pagans lightly. Those people are dangerous. You know, there's something fishy about that old witch <em>Wanda</em>. And I'm not just talking about her steady catch-of-the-day diet! | |
| Omryn: This is good idea. We should investigate her food. | |
| Tex: Ooh. A fish called Wanda. We should get autograph! | |
| Flay: Fishing is to hunting as checkers is to chess. | |
| Raven: Pagan Voodoo fishy witch lady? Okay. I'll just add her name to our list of bizarre and suspicious people... if there's room. | |
| Kalyna: Perhaps we should throw water on her and see if she turns into a fish! | |
| Nails: My old man used to go fishing with a gun, some twine, and a tarp. I never knew what he caught. He invited me along once. I didn't go. | |
| [Keyword: Tell us about the dead writer] | |
| DocRobert: My friend <em>Roger Wilcox</em>, right there on the autopsy table. Go ahead and ask him anything you like. You'll find he's very open. | |
| Flay: That is a very good joke. I will have to remember it. | |
| MD: Why do coroners always have such a sick sense of humor? | |
| Barry: You're not capable of any humility, are you doctor? | |
| Mouse: How did he die? Was it the disease? | |
| Raider: Have you been able to establish a link to the other recent deaths? | |
| Steroid: Hello? Dead person? Can you hear me? Hmmm. I think he is asleep. | |
| DocRobert: He came here to write a book that I was sure no one would ever read. And now it has turned out to be a scientific fact! He died just as elegantly as the other ones. | |
| [Keyword: Any more details about the dead writer?] | |
| DocRobert: Well, aren't you the nosey type? Can't tell you much. I don't have time for reading, apart from medical journals, so writers don't really interest me. I know he spent his days mostly hanging out with that weirdo <em>Xavier</em>, and scribbling notes in his <em>cabin</em> right behind this one. | |
| [Keyword: Isn't the whole Sanatorium infected with a deadly disease?] | |
| DocRobert: Could be. I know they had their hands full trying to treat it, that's for sure. I haven't been back there in months and haven't heard any news, either. Who knows? Maybe they're all dead by now. | |
| [Keyword: There are some missing pages in Wilcox’s diary] | |
| DocRobert: Beats me. If I'm certain of one thing in this village, it is that everyone around here is funny in the head. Have you met the <em>Hog Lady</em>? | |
| Mouse: Excuse me! That is no way to refer to a lady. | |
| Scully: Women generally like to be called by their names, mate. That's a lesson I had to be taught a few times before I remembered it. | |
| Magic: Oh, there's plenty of cuckoos in this town, Doc. I don't even have to look out the window to see one. | |
| Scope: There is very definitely a bit of looniness in the air here, Doctor. You may want to test yourself to be certain you haven't caught it. | |
| Hitman: Just remember, when you point your finger there's four more pointing right back at ya, Doc. | |
| Nails: The only hog I know that's also a lady is my Harley-Davidson FL Hydra-Glide. Now, she's what I call an easy ride! | |
| [Keyword: What are you doing here?] | |
| DocRobert: I've been sent to investigate why these poor wretches are dropping faster than the dot-com stock market. I usually work as the coroner at the <em>Sanatorium</em> not far from here. That's how I introduced myself, but the fools started calling me "the colonel." Don't mind them... Language barrier. | |
| Tex: They think you are a colonel? I guess that make you new sheriff in town! | |
| DocRobert: God, I hope not! I'm more of a "have scalpel, will travel" kind of guy. | |
| Magic: Sanitarium? You worked with those creepy cadavers? That's wild, man. Couldn't pay me enough for that. | |
| DocRobert: That's what I keep telling 'em! | |
| Red: Ye did autopsies on those zombies!? It's a wonder you're still alive. | |
| DocRobert: We don't like to use the Z-word. | |
| Vicki: That Sanitarium place be creepy, mon! | |
| DocRobert: Well, creepy is a relative term in my line of work, but... yes. | |
| Sidney: What is your opinion of Dr. Kronenberg? | |
| DocRobert: One hell of a smart lady, but I try to stay away from her. I recommend you do the same. | |
| Larry_Clean: I saw that market dip coming, man! Dot-coms are a scam. I'm invested in big pharma. | |
| DocRobert: And I can tell by the tracks on your arms that big pharma has invested a lot into you. | |
| DocRobert: Anyway, I stopped correcting them, so now I guess I'm promoted, huh? Haha! | |
| Len: Military rank is not a joke, Doctor. | |
| Igor: Impossible. You cannot be colonel without many commendations. | |
| Gus: Congrats, Colonel! My advice? Retire. | |
| [Keyword: We found Wilcox’s diary] | |
| DocRobert: Well, here's your proof, wild bunch. Our deceased friend here might be a crazy fool, but he's nothing compared to that old bat <em>Wanda</em> and her pet chicken-heads. They are killing off their own. And they surely won't stop. Just say the word and I guarantee the witch will get what she deserves. | |
| [Keyword: You are right, doc. Wanda needs to die.] | |
| Nails: Time for the Voodoo lady to take a dirt nap. | |
| Barry: It is a thing of regret, but thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. | |
| Larry_Clean: She's gotta die, man! I mean, think of the chickens! | |
| DocRobert: Now, that's what I'm talking about. Glad to see you got a good head on those shoulders and a large enough set of balls to do the right thing. Let's put an end to that freak show. | |
| [Keyword: Not yet] | |
| Scully: Hang on, mate. We gotta think this through first. | |
| Sidney: Sorry, but before we start our own Spanish Inquisition perhaps we should take a moment to consider our options. | |
| Scope: Let us take a moment to step back and look at this from range first. | |
| DrQ: Greater deeds need a greater amount of time and focus. We should never underestimate the forces of nature. | |
| Reaper: The time is not yet ideal. | |
| Shadow: Let's snoop around and see if we can dig up that lost page first. | |
| DocRobert: Yeah, yeah. Take your time, no need to hurry. It's not like people are dying left and right or anything. | |
| [Keyword: We know you infected the whole village] | |
| DocRobert: That is a bit far-fetched. I have thrown a spark, but the fire burns on its own. And this strain of the <em>Red Rabies</em> is hot as hell! The patients enter the catatonic phase before the personality loss phase, which may be the solution to <em>Dr. Kronenberg's</em> main issue! | |
| MD: Jesus! How can you call yourself a doctor? | |
| Steroid: I feel bodily urges to squash you like a puny bug. | |
| Fauda: You are a servant of Shaitan! Prepare to be sent back to him... with my regards. | |
| Smiley: I do not know what any of these medical words mean, but I will be sure to ask someone after I kill you. | |
| Mouse: You are easily in the top five of the most disgusting people I have ever met! | |
| Blood: I'll be sure to pass your notes along to someone who cares right after I finish carving you up like a dinner roast. | |
| DocRobert: Now, before you become too emotional for me to handle, please meet my friends from <em>Landsbach</em> who needed this village as much as I needed their cooperation. | |
| [Keyword: We know you infected the whole village] | |
| DocRobert: That is a bit far-fetched. I have thrown a spark, but the fire burns on its own. And this strain of the <em>Red Rabies</em> is hot as hell! The patients enter the catatonic phase before the personality loss phase, which may be the solution to <em>Dr. Kronenberg's</em> main issue! | |
| MD: Jesus! How can you call yourself a doctor? | |
| Steroid: I feel bodily urges to squash you like a puny bug. | |
| Fauda: You are a servant of Shaitan! Prepare to be sent back to him... with my regards. | |
| Smiley: I do not know what any of these medical words mean, but I will be sure to ask someone after I kill you. | |
| Mouse: You are easily in the top five of the most disgusting people I have ever met! | |
| Blood: I'll be sure to pass your notes along to someone who cares right after I finish carving you up like a dinner roast. | |
| [Keyword: Goodbye] | |
| DocRobert: And let's not forget about social distancing. Whatever we've got here is probably very infectious. |