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1,000 | 231,001 | I have information that will lead to Hillary Clinton's arrest. [deleted] | [-2.01099329e-02 1.08321151e-02 -1.24389473e-02 -9.38247796e-03
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1,001 | 231,002 | What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder without a protein shake? No whey Jose | [-7.60246767e-03 -2.37112902e-02 -1.56591125e-02 4.50326987e-02
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1,002 | 231,003 | What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military? A Sweeping Generalization. | [-5.37839942e-02 -3.62796098e-04 1.40077677e-02 -5.30428775e-02
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1,003 | 231,004 | A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ..."there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?" Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today." | [-3.55036333e-02 3.40834670e-02 -2.13655569e-02 5.01450449e-02
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1,004 | 231,005 | "Blow me." -Soup. | [-1.05062857e-01 7.19788447e-02 2.14378685e-02 3.64142582e-02
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1,005 | 231,006 | When I was little, my uncle gave me a warning about anal sex... He said, "this is going to hurt a bit." | [ 4.38574404e-02 5.70841469e-02 -7.78133646e-02 9.75648984e-02
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1,006 | 231,007 | Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well balanced meal. | [-6.46890998e-02 9.85608324e-02 -3.01830680e-03 1.33386090e-01
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1,007 | 231,008 | Why is a great tune like great unprotected sex? The malady lingers on long after it's over ... | [ 7.84287171e-04 -5.16101979e-02 3.62064391e-02 4.46525812e-02
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1,008 | 231,009 | I think maybe the key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial. | [ 6.44075274e-02 -5.25429770e-02 3.40257213e-02 4.75353189e-02
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1,009 | 231,010 | Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because their boobs are too big for b-shells. | [ 1.03425346e-01 7.46487901e-02 5.42982668e-02 7.18003092e-03
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1,010 | 231,011 | I was at the ATM the other day and this old lady asked me to help her check her balance So I pushed her. | [-2.56325826e-02 4.32478823e-02 -2.04551723e-02 4.57453281e-02
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1,011 | 231,012 | How did the blind man pass the eye exam? He just kept walking | [ 2.91031711e-02 5.06209508e-02 -3.60118523e-02 8.13322812e-02
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1,012 | 231,013 | ME (wearing Tommy Hilfiger): ready to go? GF: not until u put on something less hideous TOMMY HILFIGER (climbs off me): that was unnecessary | [-5.16510308e-02 7.08392635e-02 2.09825765e-02 7.09860176e-02
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1,013 | 231,014 | you'll know you're a grown-up when you keep fifteen unnecessary pillows on your bed | [ 8.40106457e-02 -5.76536404e-04 1.64998639e-02 -1.05842371e-02
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1,014 | 231,015 | What do you call the Skunk who wears khaki's and goes to private school? Preppy le Pew | [-8.33778903e-02 3.49444225e-02 2.75373198e-02 -4.51545930e-03
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1,015 | 231,016 | Looking for a nice, wholesome girl I can bring home to mom. She only dates nice, wholesome girls | [-8.81787762e-03 -1.18179508e-01 3.76458988e-02 1.87157076e-02
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1,016 | 231,017 | I could tell you a rape joke But it would sound forced | [-5.23707978e-02 3.77250612e-02 -2.58869883e-02 6.91789761e-02
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1,017 | 231,018 | Starbucks can't be racist. Almost every drink they serve is black or mixed. | [ 4.88768741e-02 -1.20521560e-02 -3.50177102e-02 4.40522432e-02
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1,018 | 231,019 | Thanks phone, for being strong every time I dropped you. | [-1.41962484e-01 5.62369404e-03 1.00010552e-01 5.36304945e-03
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1,019 | 231,020 | When the female lead of Pirates of the Caribbean visits Japan... Do you think she has a Kirin nightly? | [-6.10710718e-02 1.29273590e-02 2.16241498e-02 5.28345555e-02
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1,020 | 231,021 | A doe runs out of the forest and says "That's the last time I do that for two bucks." | [ 4.36235368e-02 7.48850405e-02 3.27739008e-02 1.24370627e-01
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1,021 | 231,022 | A cannibal's dillema: If God didn't want us to eat people why did he make them out of meat? | [ 4.03675959e-02 1.46962717e-01 -1.96759449e-03 3.31269205e-02
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1,022 | 231,023 | Why shouldn't Donald Trump take Viagra as President? Instead of Melania, he will try to f*** every Juan. | [ 2.23052036e-02 7.74518726e-03 1.71472579e-02 2.59834081e-02
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1,023 | 231,024 | What did the apple tell the annoying orange? Citrus down. | [ 9.96515062e-03 5.90897575e-02 3.14646661e-02 8.55925530e-02
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1,024 | 231,025 | At some point during texting, a text is sent that means: "This is the end of the conversation. I'm gonna do something interesting now." | [-4.58432920e-02 5.43384813e-03 7.18517229e-02 3.79603282e-02
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1,025 | 231,026 | Yo mama so fat, when she stands next to yo daddy they still in a long-distance relationship. | [ 1.91537440e-02 -2.52944604e-02 -1.79364793e-02 3.09923384e-02
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1,026 | 231,027 | There are two types of people in the world... 1. People who are bad with lists. | [-5.27913962e-03 -3.36873829e-02 1.21100973e-02 5.68404607e-02
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1,027 | 231,028 | What kind of phone does a molester have? the iTouch. ( lame but I made it up in class when I was like 15 lmfao) | [-3.81467715e-02 2.56112851e-02 6.20878041e-02 -2.69649662e-02
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1,028 | 231,029 | A frog parked his car in the handicapped spot. It got toad. | [ 1.36130564e-02 8.10655877e-02 1.81209669e-02 -2.64338627e-02
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1,029 | 231,030 | I combined National Pancake Day with International Women's Day Took my wife to IHOP and ordered a stack of pancakes for myself, and 8/10ths of a stack for her. | [-3.90063375e-02 1.41240293e-02 7.18984306e-02 1.60577241e-02
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1,030 | 231,031 | Misleading title Bad punchline | [-5.50039113e-02 6.76521212e-02 7.72297233e-02 8.01139027e-02
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1,031 | 231,032 | You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera. | [-2.65460648e-02 3.98308747e-02 3.19929831e-02 1.08213298e-01
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1,032 | 231,033 | I'm too embarrassed to tell you how many times I've mistaken insulation for cotton candy. | [-4.38795276e-02 4.28780681e-03 1.63330715e-02 6.42004684e-02
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1,033 | 231,034 | When I meet a celebrity I like to bring a ceiling fan with me so I can be all "Nice to meet you. Big fan". | [ 4.28981008e-03 2.67074872e-02 5.61987646e-02 -9.24197026e-03
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1,034 | 231,035 | If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band. | [-8.07220116e-02 1.35174230e-01 -9.85528249e-03 -4.96377423e-03
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1,035 | 231,036 | All panties are edible if you're hungry enough. | [ 4.83048446e-02 -8.09341893e-02 5.65794436e-03 2.82872003e-02
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1,036 | 231,037 | How do women defy the laws of physics? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up! | [-1.83220375e-02 -3.40063684e-02 5.09052761e-02 1.35134146e-01
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1,037 | 231,038 | How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? (None, they just beat the room for being black) | [ 6.77534416e-02 2.03819294e-02 -2.39028949e-02 3.65503840e-02
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1,038 | 231,039 | How do you greet a racist murderer? Good morning officer . | [-1.01678679e-02 1.84174970e-01 -1.52550135e-02 1.84662472e-02
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1,039 | 231,040 | What did the gay deer say after leaving the bar? I can't believe I blew 50 bucks back there! | [-1.44064575e-02 1.03424080e-01 5.11863222e-03 5.87741509e-02
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1,040 | 231,041 | [car dealership] WIFE: let me do the talking, ur a terrible negotiator SALESMAN: u can drive off with this car for 18k ME: we'll double that | [-4.48033288e-02 1.15584694e-01 2.13314965e-02 6.00560987e-03
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1,041 | 231,042 | What's the difference between a scaffold and a magnet? A magnet only has two Poles. | [-3.68399285e-02 -8.13412666e-02 -1.04035005e-01 -5.20044472e-03
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1,042 | 231,043 | I tell all the girls I chat to that I last ages in bed. It sounds better than telling them I'm on the dole, and don't get up until lunchtime. | [-4.63713845e-03 -3.78574766e-02 9.43119526e-02 -2.94189677e-02
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1,043 | 231,044 | Saying "oh my gosh you're getting so big!" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend. | [-2.81901169e-03 -7.47617334e-03 3.98685336e-02 4.36144471e-02
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1,044 | 231,045 | I know many chemistry jokes... But im afraid they wont get a good reaction. | [-7.57315755e-02 -8.02936703e-02 -1.46937352e-02 6.44353628e-02
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1,045 | 231,046 | Q: Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? A: Neither have they! | [ 1.96964014e-02 9.69662890e-02 -2.04820298e-02 4.17123549e-02
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1,046 | 231,047 | What gives you uncontrollable gas? Nazis | [-1.88001357e-02 -9.96286888e-03 -9.48437527e-02 1.54269964e-01
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1,047 | 231,048 | A guy's ego. | [ 2.59125475e-02 6.26302287e-02 7.41713587e-03 3.02229393e-02
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1,048 | 231,049 | What do you call a sad coffee? A depresso hahaha fuck you all | [-3.77431437e-02 4.75575328e-02 4.15900751e-04 1.20909072e-01
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1,049 | 231,050 | I'm pretty sure that if Walt Disney watched Disney Channel today, he would cry. | [ 1.12205911e-02 2.28813272e-02 9.87670496e-02 1.46711934e-02
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1,050 | 231,051 | Who envokes the most hatred out of male athletes? Caitlyn Jenner, because she's a far superior athlete to almost every man on the planet. | [ 2.82722823e-02 6.49887100e-02 5.51766641e-02 -2.53612660e-02
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1,051 | 231,052 | If I mess up at the beginning of a video game I just start over. This rule applies to life too. Used wrong exit on Fwy, calling it a day... | [ 4.95057367e-02 -2.46565584e-02 2.04481278e-02 -7.13086426e-02
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1,052 | 231,053 | My 2 year old has a pretty big attitude considering that I'm the only one who can open the fridge. | [ 3.70289497e-02 -1.78519413e-02 -4.09125388e-02 2.57029105e-02
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1,053 | 231,054 | Driver " I'm very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver " said the friend to the old man. " oh, don't worry, I can drive " | [-1.07764909e-02 7.29278177e-02 -5.12042898e-04 8.62613469e-02
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1,054 | 231,055 | How many Friend Zoned guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. | [ 8.32587853e-02 6.83787838e-03 7.94539452e-02 4.06969665e-03
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1,055 | 231,056 | You know what's messed up to find at the bottom of a jar of mayonnaise? A condom. haha | [-3.27700190e-02 -5.52547397e-04 4.01599556e-02 -2.41639372e-02
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1,056 | 231,057 | I imagine Christmas morning at the Schrodinger house is quite stressful. | [ 4.95704077e-02 5.32166995e-02 -1.34822028e-03 8.35890621e-02
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1,057 | 231,058 | A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "why the long face?" & the horse says, "why the English Lit degree?" | [-9.08603240e-03 2.37888638e-02 7.13931546e-02 5.00590205e-02
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1,058 | 231,059 | Jew joke What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? They don't scream when you put them in a oven! | [ 8.95287469e-03 7.59682432e-02 -5.40022664e-02 6.75991252e-02
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1,059 | 231,060 | What do you call a speeding vegetable? Michael Schumacher. | [-1.78660545e-02 4.90496419e-02 -8.08433071e-02 5.25861494e-02
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1,060 | 231,061 | A boy goes into a stripclub... When he comes home, his mom asks him: "Son, did you see anything you aren't supposed to see there?" The son replies, "Ya, I saw dad." | [-8.84332974e-03 3.51989339e-03 -8.89947414e-02 -1.15885437e-02
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1,061 | 231,062 | Who was the nose's favorite Christian mystic? Nostrildamus | [ 2.51928600e-03 5.95208816e-03 -7.29912519e-02 3.83114372e-03
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1,062 | 231,063 | I tried giving a gentle reminder to my kids about cleaning their rooms, but a megaphone works much better. | [ 2.22864430e-02 -2.27174796e-02 1.47080898e-01 -5.13920113e-02
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1,063 | 231,064 | Met a hooker who said she'd do anything for $5 So I banged her. | [-7.15086162e-02 3.69214080e-02 1.24196662e-02 6.34348765e-02
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1,064 | 231,065 | What will be served at Trump's inagural dinner? Crackers. | [-6.91437945e-02 1.61180571e-02 5.49969301e-02 -3.14034452e-03
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1,065 | 231,066 | What do Taylor Swift and Charlie Sheen have in common? Bad blood. | [-4.02009115e-02 -9.77249444e-02 7.73945963e-03 3.67994905e-02
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1,066 | 231,067 | What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandyhook survivor. .... | [-3.73331457e-02 4.53672372e-02 3.47438268e-02 -1.97775289e-03
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1,067 | 231,068 | Imagine a masonry wall... Now, picture just one piece of it... This, my friends, is a mental block. | [ 4.24009003e-02 1.04186006e-01 1.11663034e-02 -2.46997341e-03
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1,068 | 231,069 | eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. | [ 4.13580798e-02 1.55874621e-02 8.25299229e-03 1.45132104e-02
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1,069 | 231,070 | The 3 tragedies. The 3 tragedies in a man's life: 1) Life sucks. 2) Job sucks. 3) Wife doesn't. | [-2.51560863e-02 -4.23509516e-02 -3.27927135e-02 2.62352489e-02
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1,070 | 231,071 | What are the two best arguments against democracy? Donald Trump & Hillary Clinton | [ 1.57281589e-02 5.61877154e-02 -8.55346546e-02 -1.02089919e-01
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1,071 | 231,072 | I told my girlfriend to apply for a job at the pet store 'cause she really knows how to handle a cock 'r two | [-3.42325084e-02 9.62484907e-03 4.34600003e-02 -3.71905416e-02
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1,072 | 231,073 | I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner... ...well, it was just collecting dust:). | [-4.44113798e-02 3.54292914e-02 1.02223545e-01 -1.37889748e-02
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1,073 | 231,074 | What did the horse say when he regained his vision? Merci. | [ 4.14598882e-02 1.05213888e-01 2.33197752e-02 3.58805954e-02
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1,074 | 231,075 | I've written a book about reverse psychology Please don't buy it. | [-2.27585156e-03 1.64484624e-02 9.75978933e-03 6.46298453e-02
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1,075 | 231,076 | It's hard to look like a badass when you're slurping on a strawberry smoothie. | [-1.78911891e-02 -7.61731416e-02 6.27704337e-02 9.34424810e-03
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1,076 | 231,077 | Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead. | [-3.60315256e-02 9.42331776e-02 -4.61715721e-02 1.23632429e-02
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1,077 | 231,078 | Renewing public sector is like moving a graveyard. You won't get much help from those already there. | [ 3.69010195e-02 -8.63154680e-02 2.82661207e-02 -6.25915751e-02
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1,078 | 231,079 | Raheem is a Pakistani orphan boy who has to walk 5 miles to reach his school.. but with your help of a few pennies a month..we can buy a whip and make the lazy bastard run. | [ 6.97725313e-03 8.25389028e-02 -8.19338486e-02 1.06383383e-01
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1,079 | 231,080 | So this black guys stopped me on the subway and asked "did the Yankees win?" I looked him in the eye and said "Yes, it's ok, you're free now" | [-3.16949487e-02 8.24919790e-02 -1.07727908e-02 6.70529082e-02
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1,080 | 231,081 | What's an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss, just down under. | [-3.65508944e-02 3.36687006e-02 -4.10986245e-02 -1.44462297e-02
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1,081 | 231,082 | I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake. | [-2.74813902e-02 8.61201212e-02 1.15018994e-01 2.99974438e-02
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1,082 | 231,083 | A blind man stands in a store whirling a dog around his head with the leash. A saleswoman asks "May I help you, sir?" "Nah, just looking around." | [-7.95868710e-02 2.41240840e-02 -9.46176983e-03 5.68248741e-02
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1,083 | 231,084 | Why did the sperm cross the road? Because it was my first wank in a week | [-2.86556054e-02 2.17187703e-02 3.45584713e-02 6.34832606e-02
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1,084 | 231,085 | The door is not ajar. It's a door, silly! | [ 1.90092456e-02 5.38797081e-02 -2.08903626e-02 1.48216216e-02
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1,085 | 231,086 | The world has become so politically correct these days... ...that you can't say black paint anymore... You have to say "Tyrone, please paint my fence." | [ 2.03342289e-02 8.48934129e-02 -7.57845566e-02 -1.85014382e-02
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1,086 | 231,087 | What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants? "Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!" | [-4.54709716e-02 1.27699301e-01 1.72714535e-02 1.23243351e-02
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1,087 | 231,088 | Went to "The Social Network." I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids. | [-1.33209592e-02 -1.90896972e-03 1.31643564e-02 6.19801655e-02
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1,088 | 231,089 | Why couldn't Hitler change a lightbulb? It was just out of his reich. | [ 2.22452693e-02 9.44606960e-02 5.38127311e-03 7.76849091e-02
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1,089 | 231,090 | Why do people go to the gym again? Do they not know what a nap is? | [ 3.14144939e-02 7.24139484e-03 9.65838903e-04 9.61554870e-02
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1,090 | 231,091 | Sometimes I think Scientology was secretly started by Mormons so they could have a religion to make fun of. | [-2.31296346e-02 -5.87368710e-03 4.49030288e-02 1.44006191e-02
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1,091 | 231,092 | Hamburgler: Success! Look at this amazing haul of these McDonald's burgers! Hamburgler's Mum: *sobbing* Your brother is an architect. | [ 1.14057669e-02 8.41324031e-02 1.99064203e-02 -8.26303195e-03
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1,092 | 231,093 | Made in Thailand Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok? He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger. ~ Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok? It was a Thai. | [-1.72685385e-02 1.06683716e-01 5.75940162e-02 3.37907225e-02
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1,093 | 231,094 | What is Germany's favorite game? Mein Kampf | [ 7.90491886e-03 2.86110211e-02 -3.66337560e-02 -2.61535216e-02
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1,094 | 231,095 | What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief who can't drive. | [-5.29942997e-02 1.32791683e-01 -3.94447055e-03 4.01904732e-02
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1,095 | 231,096 | ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know | [-2.69552041e-02 1.21268975e-02 4.31772247e-02 5.43882623e-02
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1,096 | 231,097 | What do you get from 3 girls from Arkansas? Damn near a whole set of teeth. | [-3.33429202e-02 1.17868790e-02 1.11045688e-02 -3.96589562e-03
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1,097 | 231,098 | How are children like eggs? They both taste better after you beat them. | [ 3.06540355e-02 -2.29780879e-02 4.65242155e-02 6.04240075e-02
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Subsets and Splits