# ‘His Only Wife’ by Peace Adzo Medie: Love, obligation and the other woman

## What you need to know:

**The author raises an important point about how men, despite family expectations, still find ways to pursue things that make them happy regardless of their families' wishes and expectations.**

“Elikem married me in absentia; he did not come to our wedding.” The opening sentence pulls readers into the gripping story. It immediately begs a self-reflection question:

“What would I do if my to-be husband didn’t show up at our wedding because business was more important than me, especially on the day we’re supposed to start our lives together?” The book’s opening poses a question of self-value and societal pressures, setting the tone of the dilemma.

*His Only Wife* is a debut novel by Peace Adzo Medie that brilliantly blends the traditional and modern dilemmas of modern society. The book follows Afi, a young seamstress from a small town who struggles with her mother. Afi is arranged to marry Elikem, the son of Faustina, ‘Aunty’, a wealthy woman who helped Afi and her mother get back on their feet after losing everything when her father died ten years ago.

Afi’s mother is the driving force that ensures that the marriage between Afi and Eli happens in the hopes of securing a better future for herself and her daughter. Afi has no say in all this because everyone depends on her for this to happen.

For her mother, it is to finally get back to living a better life; to Aunty’s family, it is to get his son back from “the other woman”, and for Afi’s extended family, it is free money from the wealthy family Afi is marrying into.

“It was not easy being the key to other people’s happiness, their victory, and their vindication. I desperately wanted the wedding to be over because then I would have done my part. Or, rather, I would have begun to do my part.”

This is an example of how families put too much expectations and pressure on their children, not caring about what they want or do not. With this much expectation, one can never have the freedom and agency to choose the path one wants. One is expected to do nothing but obey. It is especially true for women than men, and it starts at a young age. It is how society socialises females and males.

“I barely know the man. And what if things do not work out, what if it does not bring him closer to his family, what if I let everyone down? His family? My mother? The whole town? I could not sleep at night just thinking about this,” Afi worries are evident as she speaks to her cousin, Mwawusi.

Medie nicely explores the dilemma between love and obligation. Eli and Afi grow closer. They enjoy their time together. They make each other happy, which gives Afi hope of becoming *‘His Only Wife’*, the woman who wins Eli’s complete devotion. But this hope is fragile, hunted by the shadow of ‘the other woman.’

The author raises an important point about how men, despite family expectations, still find ways to pursue things that make them happy regardless of their families'’s wishes and expectations. Eli’s balancing act between obligations and personal desires exemplifies how men enjoy more freedom than women in these familial expectations.

Evelyn is Afi’s next-door neighbour and the opposite of Afi. She is self-assured, confident, and aware of her surroundings and societal position. Despite societal expectations and limitations, Evelyn refuses to let them stop her from creating the life she wants for herself. In this book, she symbolises the importance of female friendships in creating safe spaces.

Evelyn is a secret girlfriend of Afi’s brother-in-law, Richard, who will never have the courage to introduce her to her overbearing mother. Through her friendship with Evelyn, Afi discovers that her husband, Eli, never ended his relationship with Muna, a Liberian-born woman he met on business trips abroad and with whom he has a daughter.

Through her friendship with Evelyn, Afi learns that her husband, Eli, never ended his relationship with Muna, a Liberian-born woman he met on business trips abroad and with whom he has a daughter.

Afi’s growth is one of the book’s most compelling aspects. She goes from being a small-town girl, whose life is dictated by others, to becoming a woman who takes control of her life. She invests in herself by going to school, eventually creating a path of her own, not one built for her by others. In this way, Medie shows that self-discovery and empowerment are possible even from a disadvantage.

Medie’s storytelling is humorous while tackling serious issues such as gender equality, societal and family expectations, and the complexity of love and marriage in modern society. It is a celebration of women who, despite societal limitations, still succeed in forging their paths to become the best versions of themselves.

The book could have benefitted more if the author had explored the other characters, such as Eli and Muna. The reader understands the motives behind Afi’s actions but does not get the same for Muna and Eli. Their side of the story could have added more emotions to the book’s complexities.

But this book will leave you laughing and rooting for Afi because she deserves to win -not just the love or the marriage, but her life through self-discovery.

Remember: Not everyone who smiles at you wishes you well.

**Jane Shussa is passionate about books, coffee, nature, and travel. She serves as a Senior Digital Communications Officer for Twaweza East Africa.**