## I hate it when women say ‘men should be providers’ – Sheila Kwamboka

Popular radio presenter and MC Sheila Kwamboka says she hates it when she hears fellow women making certain statements about men that are vindictive such as ‘men should be providers’.

While she agrees that men ought to do what they are supposed to do as far as taking care of a woman is concerned, Kwamboka notes that some quarters of women use such and other similar statements to be vindictive and hurtful to men.

“Men should be providers…’ I hate that statement. Do you know why? Because at that point it’s used against the person, sometimes it’s vindictive. I once tuned in to a podcast where this woman said she broke up with this man because he could no longer provide. When the podcast sought to know why she didn’t want to stick around during that trying time. The lady insisted that the man should be able to provide for her at all times and that he should apologize to her because he could no longer provide.’ shares Kwamboka.

Another phrase used to describe men that the outspoken and extroverted Kwamboka says she finds annoying and unkind when used on men is ‘real men’.

“Real men is another common phrase that I don’t like to hear women use about men. Real men must…, real men this… Ladies, if we are being honest, to tell a man, a real man would…, is it from your personal experience of having been a man once upon a time or what life of yours as a man are you referring to? I say this because women who use these phrases are talking about things they have heard or seen from somewhere else. We need to give grace to the person who is actually going through that experience.

Kwamboka notes that many of these phrases that Kenyan women seem to be adopting have been copied from African-American women who in her view have made it clear to themselves that they are not Africans.