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# From desperation to advocacy in the face of infertility: The story of infertile women in Tanzania

## What you need to know:

**In an emotional interview, Shamila shared how infertility affected her life, led her to make poor decisions, and eventually sparked her commitment to start an association to raise awareness and fight the stigma surrounding infertility.**

**Dar es Salaam**. Shamila Makwenjula’s journey through the painful and emotional struggles of infertility is one marked by desperation, poor decisions, and, ultimately, a deep commitment to help others going through the same plight.

At 5:00 am on one fateful morning, Shamila was preparing herself to carry out a desperate plan to steal a baby from a hospital ward. For years, she had endured abusive marriages, one of which left her hospitalized in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) for two days. However, through it all, the yearning to become a mother never left her.

In an emotional interview, Shamila shared how infertility affected her life, led her to make poor decisions, and eventually sparked her commitment to start an association to raise awareness and fight the stigma surrounding infertility. Now, as the Chairperson of the Tanzania Infertile Association (CCWT – Chama Cha Wagumba Tanzania), Shamila is determined to advocate for the rights of those living with infertility, a group that often faces intense societal judgment and misunderstanding.

Infertility, defined as the inability to conceive after one year of unprotected sexual intercourse, was something Shamila never expected to face. In 2018, doctors officially informed her that she would never be able to have children. The news shattered her, and she struggled to accept her reality. Despite enduring physical and emotional abuse from her first two marriages, Shamila remained determined to become a mother, believing that having a child would bring her respect in a society that often judged women without children harshly.

“After years of being beaten by my husbands, I still wanted a child to gain the societal respect I never had,” said Shamila. “I moved from Malinyi, Morogoro, to Dar es Salaam for treatment, and during this time, I lied to my husband that I was pregnant.”

Her emotional turmoil reached a breaking point when she decided to attempt to steal a child. She had planned to take an unattended baby from the hospital, but fate intervened. When a woman with a baby was left alone outside the hospital, Shamila offered to help her. The woman shared that her relatives had not shown up, and she was being discharged.

Shamila, seizing the opportunity, planned to take the baby. However, when the woman was called back by the doctor to pick up the baby’s medications, Shamila was left with the child. At that moment, she hesitated. “I walked two steps with the baby, but I started crying, thinking about the consequences of taking care of a sick baby without medication. I couldn’t go through with it. I returned the baby to its mother and walked away, crying uncontrollably,” she recalled.

This episode marked a turning point for Shamila. Her internal struggle with infertility and the desperate desire for a child had almost led her to make irreversible choices.

Shamila confessed that the emotional toll of infertility led her to mental health challenges that she still faces today. The stigma surrounding infertility exacerbated her suffering, with many in society seeing her as less of a woman, a less valuable member of society. She was often excluded from leadership roles, family meetings, and decision-making processes, simply because she did not have children.

“The stigma is unbearable. We are seen as less capable, less valuable, and society does not trust us to be leaders or to have a say in family matters. People think we don’t deserve to own property or work hard just because we don’t have children,” she said, her voice filled with pain.

To cope, Shamila turned to traditional healers who promised to cure her infertility. She tried numerous treatments, including herbs that caused harm to her body. She described an incident where a healer advised her to eat in a toilet and throw a portion of the food in the toilet as a symbolic act of discarding her infertility problem. She also sought out a ritual in which she was told to drink a herbal concoction prepared at a funeral, believing it would rid her of her infertility.

Her mental and emotional health continued to decline, and on her tenth wedding anniversary, her husband fathered a child with another woman. This incident sent Shamila into deep despair, especially when the other woman received the attention and care that Shamila had longed for. The betrayal, coupled with the constant reminder of her inability to bear children, pushed her to a breaking point.

The final straw came when an argument over the use of a bicycle – a disagreement between Shamila and her husband regarding the use of her bicycle by the other woman – led to a violent beating. Shamila was hospitalized and spent two days in ICU.

“That was the moment I realized how deeply this pain was affecting me. But I also realized that I could no longer live in this cycle of pain and despair. I had to accept my infertility and use my experience to help others,” she reflected.

**Turning pain into purpose**

In 2015, Shamila made the decision to start an association for people living with infertility. She called it Wangalela, which means “infertile people” in *Kipogoro *language. The group began with just 15 women, all of whom were struggling with the same societal stigma and emotional challenges related to infertility. After years of advocacy and organizing, the Tanzania Infertile Association was officially registered in 2022.

The association’s mission is to raise awareness about infertility, combat the stigma surrounding it, and provide support for those who are affected. Through her work, Shamila has reached hundreds of people, offering them a platform to share their stories and access much-needed support. Today, the association boasts 437 members, and Shamila continues to fight for the rights of those living with infertility, ensuring they are not discriminated against or ostracized.

“Not being able to have children is already a painful and deeply personal loss. We should not have to endure further judgment or mistreatment from society,” Shamila said. “Our hearts are always unsettled. The pain is not just physical, it’s psychological. We need understanding, not insults.”

Shamila calls for more support, both from individuals and institutions, to help people with infertility access proper treatment and mental health care. She stresses the importance of educating society on the fact that infertility is not just a women’s issue, but one that affects both men and women. Unfortunately, many men refuse to seek treatment due to the stigma associated with infertility.

“Infertility is a disease, just like any other. It affects both men and women, yet society often ignores the struggles of men. We need more education on this issue and more support for those who are going through it,” Shamila emphasized.

Through her work with the Tanzania Infertile Association, Shamila Makwenjula has turned her personal pain into a powerful platform for advocacy, helping others to navigate their infertility journey with dignity, hope, and support.