# Book review: ‘The Secret Lives Of Baba Segi's Wives’ by Lola Shoneyin

## What you need to know:

**Bolanle, a university graduate, surprises her mother by marrying into a polygamous home, especially after her mother worked tirelessly to ensure she received a good education.**

"The choices we have to make in this world are hard and bitter. Sometimes, we have no choice at all." This quote from the book *The Secret Lives Of Baba Segi's Wives* by Lola Shoneyin resonates deeply with many people, both men and women. At times, circumstances constrain us so tightly that our autonomy feels stripped away, leaving us to accept situations as they are, with no control over the outcome.

This is also true for Bolanle, the youngest of Baba Segi's four wives. Her co-wives include Iya Segi, the first wife who prides herself on her ability to make and manage money; Iya Tope, the second wife, who married Baba Segi to escape poverty and treats Bolanle nicely; and Iya Femi, the third wife, who has the most tragic background marked by both sexual and financial abuse. (Iya means mother in Yoruba.)

Bolanle, a university graduate, surprises her mother by marrying into a polygamous home, especially after her mother worked tirelessly to ensure she received a good education. Bolanle is a prized addition to her new husband but is resented by all the other wives because her presence threatens to unravel their closely guarded secrets.

Bolanle puts great effort into earning their favour and affection, but her attempts are in vain. Instead, she finds solace in the bond she shares with their children, a rare sight in polygamous households.

Shoneyin's novel shows that while polygamy, or polygyny in this context, is common in many African societies, it is rarely a choice for women. Cultural expectations and life circumstances often force women into such households. Bolanle’s decision to enter this household stems from past traumas, including a rape and subsequent abortion, which left her feeling stripped of her autonomy and sense of belonging. Her inner conflict is one of the most compelling parts of the story.

"After everything happened, I tried hard to continue being myself, but slowly, I disappeared. I became Bolanle, the soiled, damaged woman. Except that became hard, too. Mama kept trying to make me do all the things the old Bolanle would have done. The more she pushed, the more I resisted. I did not want a job. I did not want a white wedding! I just wanted the war between who I used to be and who I had become to end. I did not want to fight anymore."

This quote captures how trauma, such as sexual abuse, changes the victims, stealing away their sense of identity. Shoneyin's portrayal of Bolanle's journey to reclaim herself is a powerful reminder of the lasting impact of trauma.

Meanwhile, Baba Segi is a patriarchal, often sexist, yet kind man whose pride comes from his perceived ability to get his wives pregnant without trying too hard. He is not rich but leads a comfortable life that allows him to provide for his four wives.

However, his sense of masculinity is challenged when, despite multiple attempts, Bolanle does not conceive. Like everyone else, he foolishly assumes that something must be wrong with Bolanle's womb.

The author critiques societal beliefs and assumptions surrounding infertility and the undue burden placed on women. This is especially pronounced in polygamous households, where the presence of children from other wives makes accusations of infertility seem even more likely.

"Does your blood not boil when you see other women carrying babies on their backs? Do tears not fill your eyes when you see mothers suckling their infants? You, of all people, should be willing to try everything! Offspring make our visit to this world complete! Do you want to remain a barren maggot?" Baba Segi shouted at Bolanle one night after their first visit to the hospital. This accentuates what women who are believed to be infertile go through in their own homes, where they should feel safe and supported.

Gradually, Shoneyin reveals the secrets of each wife and Taju, Baba Segi's driver, who shares a hidden connection with one of the wives. These intertwined stories show how each family has secrets, no matter how perfect they may seem to outsiders. Bolanle's arrival in this family marks the beginning of the end of the long-guarded secrets.

*The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives* is a beautifully written exploration of patriarchy and gender roles. Through humour and poignant storytelling, Shoneyin critiques cultural norms around sexism, abuse, and the objectification of women. The novel encourages readers to reconsider their beliefs about polygamy, gender, and infertility, leaving them with these questions: Is infertility a woman's problem? Should a woman be treated like a commodity purchased from the market?

As the world turns, so must we evolve, challenging outdated norms to better understand others and ourselves.

**Jane Shussa is passionate about books, coffee, nature, and travel. She serves as a Senior Digital Communications Officer for Twaweza East Africa.**