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ููู ุงุฎุจุฑุช ุงูุงุฎุฑูู ุนู ุจุฑุฌู ูุจุฑุฌ ุดุฑูููุ ูุณูู ูุฑุณู
ูู ุตูุฑุฉ ูู ุฎูุงููู
ุนู ุญูุงุชู ุงูุฎุงุตุฉ. | If you share you and your partner's animal signs, they will paint a picture in their mind about your private life. |
ุฑุจู
ุง ุงูุช ูุง ุชุนุชูุฏ ูู ุงูุงุจุฑุงุฌ ุงูุตูููุฉ. | Maybe you don't believe in the Chinese zodiac. |
ูุญูุซ ุงู ุฑุจุน ุณูุงู ุงูุนุงูู
ู
ุชุงุซุฑูู ุจูุงุ ุณูููู ู
ู ุงูุงูุถู ุงู ุชูุนู ุดูุฆุง ุญูุงู ุฐูู. | As a quarter of the world population is influenced by it, you'd be wise to do something about that. |
ุญุณูุงู ู
ุงูู ุงูุงุจุฑุงุฌ ุงูุตูููุฉ ุ ุจุงูุถุจุทุ | So what is the Chinese zodiac, exactly? |
ู
ุนุธู
ุงูุบุฑุจููู ูุธููููุง ุงูุงุจุฑุงุฌ ุงูุงุบุฑูููุฉ-ุงูุฑูู
ุงููุฉุ ุชูู ุงูุฑู
ูุฒ ุงูู
ูุณู
ุฉ ุนูู ูกูข ุดูุฑุงูู. | Most Westerners think of Greco-Roman zodiac, the signs divided into 12 months. |
ุงูุงุจุฑุงุฌ ุงูุตูููุฉ ุดูุก ู
ุฎุชูู. | The Chinese zodiac is different. |
ุงููุง ุนุจุงุฑุฉ ุนู ุฏูุฑุฉ ู
ู ูกูข ุณูุฉุ ู
ุณู
ุงุฉ ุจุงุณู
ุงุก ุญููุงูุงุช ุชุจุฏุงุก ุจุงููุฃุฑ ูุชูุชูู ุจุงูุฎูุฒูุฑ. ูููุณ ููุง ุงุฑุชุจุงุท ุจุงูู
ุฌู
ูุนุงุช ุงููุฌู
ูุฉ. | It's a 12-year cycle labeled with animals, starting with a Rat and ending with a Pig, and has no association with constellations. |
ู
ุซูุง ุงุฐุง ููุช ู
ูููุฏ ุนุงู
1975 ููุฃูุช ุฃุฑูุจ. | For example, if you were born in 1975, you are a Rabbit. |
ูู ุชุณุชุทูุน ุฃู ุชุฑู ุจุฑุฌู ููุงุ | Can you see your zodiac sign there? |
ููุฏ ููู ุงุณูุงููุง ุงูุตูููู ุฅุทุงุฑ ูุธุฑู ู
ุนูุฏ ู
ุฑุชูุฒุงู ุนูู ุงููุงูุบ ุ ูุงูุนูุงุตุฑุงูุฎู
ุณุฉ ูุงุจุฑุงุฌ ุงูุญููุงูุงุช ุงูุงุซูู ุนุดุฑ. | Our Chinese ancestors constructed a very complicated theoretical framework based on yin and yang, the five elements and the 12 zodiac animals. |
ููุฅูุฃู ุงูุณูููุ ูุฐู ุงูุซูุงูุฉ ุงูุดุงุฆุนุฉ ุงุซุฑุช ุนูู ูุฑุงุฑุงุช ุงููุงุณ ุงููุจูุฑุฉุ ู
ุซู ุชุณู
ูุฉ ุงูุงุจูุงุกุ ุงูุฒูุงุฌุ ุงูููุงุฏุฉุ ูุงูุณููู ู
ุน ุงูุงุฎุฑูู. | Over thousands of years, this popular culture has affected people's major decisions, such as naming, marriage, giving birth and attitude towards each other. |
ูุจุนุถ ุงูุชุงุซูุฑุงุช ุงูุงุฎุฑู ู
ุญูุฑุฉ ุญูุงู. | And some of the implications are quite amazing. |
ูุนุชูุฏ ุงูุตููููู ุงู ุจุนุถ ุงูุญููุงูุงุช ุชุญูู ูุฌุงุญุง ุงูุถู ู
ู ุงูุงุฎุฑูุงุช. | The Chinese believe certain animals get on better than the others. |
ูุฐูู ูุฎุชุงุฑ ุงููุงูุฏูู ุณูุฉ ุจุนูููุง ูุฅูุฌุงุจ ุงูุงุทูุงู. ูุฃููู
ูุนุชูุฏูู ุงู ุงูุนู
ู ุงูุฌู
ุงุนู ูุงูุฌู
ุน ุงูู
ููู ุจูู ุงูุงุจุฑุงุฌ ุณุชู
ูุญ ุงูุนุงุฆูุงุช ุงูุชูุฏู
ูุงูุงุฒุฏูุงุฑ. | So parents choose specific years to give birth to babies, because they believe the team effort by the right combination of animals can give prosperity to families. |
ุญุชู ุงููุง ูุณุชุดูุฑ ุงูุงุจุฑุงุฌ ุนูุฏ ุงูุฏุฎูู ูู ุงูุนูุงูุฉ ุงูุนุงุทููุฉ. | We even refer to the zodiac when entering into romantic relations. |
ุงูุง ุจุฑุฌ ุงูุฎูุฒูุฑุ ุดุฑููู ุงูุงูุถู ูููู ุงู
ุง ุงููู
ุฑุ ุงูู
ุนุฒุฉ ุฃูุงูุงุฑูุจ. | I'm a Pig; I should have perfect romance with Tigers, Goats and Rabbits. |
ูุนุชูุฏ ุงูุตููููู ุฃู ุจุนุถ ุงูุญููุงูุงุช ุชุดูู ุงุนุฏุงุก ุทุจูุนููู. | Chinese people believe some animals are natural enemies. |
ุงูุง ูุฎูุฒูุฑ ุนูู ุงู ุงุญุชุฑุณ ู
ู ุงูุซุนุจุงูุ | As a Pig, I need to be careful with a Snake. |
ุงุฑูุนูุง ุงูุฏููู
ุงููุง ุงูุซุนุงุจูู. | Raise your hand if you are a Snake. |
ุณูููู ููุง ุญุฏูุซ ูุงุญูุงู. | Let's have a chat later. |
ูุนุชูุฏ ุงู ุจุนุถ ุงูุฃุจุฑุงุฌ ู
ุญุธูุธุฉ ุงูุซุฑ ู
ู ุบูุฑูุงุ ู
ุซู ุงูุชููู. | We believe some animals are luckier than the others, such as the Dragon. |
ุฎูุงูุง ููุชูุงููุฏ ุงูุบุฑุจูุฉุ ูุฅู ุงูุชููู ุงูุตููู ูุฑู
ุฒ ููุณูุทุฉุ ูุงูููุฉุ ูุงูุซุฑูุฉ. | Unlike the Western tradition, the Chinese Dragon is a symbol for power, strength and wealth. |
ุญูู
ูู ุดุฎุต ุงู ูุญุตู ุนูู ุทูู ุชููู. | It's everyone's dream to have a Dragon baby. |
ูุงุจุฏ ู
ู ุงู ูุงูุฏุง "ุฌุงู ู
ุง" ูุงูู ูุฎูุฑูู ุฌุฏุง. | Jack Ma's parents must have been very proud. |
ูููุณู ูู
ุงููุญูุฏูู. | And they are not the only ones. |
ูู ุนุงู
2012ุ ุนุงู
ุงูุชูููุ ุนุฏุฏ ุงูู
ูุงููุฏ ูู ุงูุตููุ ูููููู ูุชุงููุงู ุงุฒุฏุงุฏ ุจู
ูุฏุงุฑ ุฎู
ุณุฉ ูู ุงูู
ุฆุฉ. | In 2012, the Year of the Dragon, the birthrate in China, Hong Kong and Taiwan increased by five percent. |
ูุฐุง ูุนูู ู
ูููู ุทูู ุฌุฏูุฏ. | That means another one million more babies. |
ูุจู
ุง ุงู ุงูุชูุงููุฏ ุชูุถู ุงูู
ูุงููุฏ ุงูุฐููุฑุ ูุงูุช ูุณุจุฉ ุงูุฐููุฑ ููุฅูุงุซ ุฐูู ุงูุนุงู
120-100. | With a traditional preference to baby boys, the boy-girl ratio that year was 120 to 100. |
ูุนูุฏู
ุง ููุจุฑ ุงุทูุงู ุงูุชููู ูุคูุงุกุ ูุณููุงุฌููู ู
ูุงูุณุฉ ู
ุณุชุนุฑู ูู ู
ุฌุงู ุงูุญุจ ูุงูุนู
ู. | When those Dragon boys grow up, they will face much more severe competition in love and job markets. |
ุจุญุณุจ ุชุตุฑูุญุงุช ุจู ุจู ุณู ูุงูุญููู
ุฉ ุงูุตูููุฉุ ูุฅู ููุงูุฑ 2015 ุดูุฏ ุงุนูู ู
ุนุฏู ููุนู
ููุงุช ุงูููุตุฑูุฉ. | According to the BBC and the Chinese government's press release, January 2015 saw a peak of Cesarean sections. |
ูู
ุงุฐุงุ | Why? |
ูุฃูู ุงูุดูุฑ ุงูุงุฎูุฑ ู
ู ุนุงู
ุงูุญุตุงู. | That was the last month for the Year of the Horse. |
ููุณ ูุงููู
ูุญุจูู ุงูุญุตุงู ุฌุฏุงูุ ูููู ุชูุงุฏูุง ูุนุงู
ุงูุนูุฒุฉ ููููุฉ ุงูุญุธุ | It's not because they like horses so much, it's because they try to avoid having unlucky Goat babies. |
ูู ููุช ู
ู ุจุฑุฌ ุงูู
ุนูุฒุฉ ุฑุฌุงุกู ูุงุชุจุชุฆุณ. | If you are a Goat, please don't feel bad. |
ููุคูุงุก ุฃูุถุฃ ู
ู ุจุฑุฌ ุงูุนูุฒุฉ. | Those are Goat babies. |
ูุง ูุจุฏูู ูุงุดููู ุจุงููุณุจุฉ ูู. | They don't look like losers to me. |
ุงููู
ุฑ ุฃูุถุฃ ู
ู ุงูุญููุงูุงุช ุงูุบูุฑ ู
ุญุจุฐุฉ. ุจุณุจุจ ู
ุฒุงุฌุฉ ุงูู
ุชููุจ. | Tiger is another undesirable animal, due to its volatile temperament. |
ุดูุฏุช ุงููุซูุฑ ู
ู ุงูู
ูุงุทุนุงุช ุงูุตูููุฉ ุชูุงูุตุง ูู ู
ุนุฏู ุงูู
ูุงููุฏ ูู ูุฐู ุงูุณููุงุช. | Many Chinese regions saw a sharp decline of birthrate during those years. |
ุฑุจู
ุง ูู
ูู ุงู ูููุฑ ูู ุงูุงุจุฑุงุฌ ุจุทุฑููุฉ ุนูุณูุฉุ ุฅุฐ ุณูุดูุฏ ู
ูุงููุฏ ุงููู
ุฑ ูุงูุนูุฒุฉ ู
ูุงูุณุฉ ุงูู. | Perhaps one should consider zodiac in reverse, as those Tiger and Goat babies will face much less competition. |
ุฑุจู
ุง ูู
ุงูู
ุญุธูุธูู ูุนููุงู | Maybe they are the lucky ones. |
ููุฏ ู
ุฑุฑุช ุนูู ูุงุฆู
ุฉ ููุฑุจุณ ูุฃุบูู 300 ุดุฎุต ูู ุงูุนุงูู
ุ ู
ู ุงูู
ุซูุฑุฉ ููุงูุชู
ุงู
ุงู ูุฑู ุงู ุงูุซุฑ ุญููุงููู ุบูุฑ ู
ุฑุบูุจููุ ูู
ุง ุงููู
ุฑ ูุงูุนูุฒุฉุ ูุงูุง ูู ุฑุฃุณ ุงููุงุฆู
ุฉุ ุญุชู ุงุนูู ู
ู ุงูุชููู. | I went through the Forbes top 300 richest people in the world, and it's interesting to see the most undesirable two animals, the Goat and Tiger, are at the top of the chart, even higher than the Dragon. |
ุฑุจู
ุง ู
ู ุงูุฌุฏูุฑ ุงุฎุฐ ุฐูู ูู ุงูุงุนุชุจุงุฑุ ุฑุจู
ุง ู
ู ุงูุฌูุฏ ุงู ุชูุงุฌู ู
ูุงูุณุฉ ุงูู. | So maybe we should consider, maybe it's much better to have less competition. |
ููุทุฉ ู
ูู
ุฉ ุงุฎูุฑุฉ: ุงูุนุฏูุฏ ู
ู ุงูุตูููู ูุจููู ูุฑุงุฑุงุชูู
ุงูู
ุงููุฉ ุงุณุชูุงุฏุง ุนูู ุชููุนุงุช ุงูุงุจุฑุงุฌ . | One last but interesting point: many Chinese people make their investment decisions based on the zodiac sign index. |
ุจุงูุฑุบู
ู
ู ุงู ุงูุชูุงููุฏ ูุงูุงุจุฑุงุฌ ูุฌุฏุช ู
ูุฐ ุงูุงู ุงูุณูููุ ุงูุง ุงู ุงููุฒุนุฉ ูุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู
ูุง ูู ุชูุฑูุฑ ุงูุงู
ูุฑ ุงูู
ุตูุฑูุฉ ูู
ูุญุฏุซ ุงูุง ูู ุงูุนููุฏ ุงูุงุฎูุฑุฉ | Although the belief and tradition of the zodiac sign has been over thousands of years, the trend of using it in making major decisions did not really happen until the past few decades. |
ูุงู ุงุณูุงููุง ู
ุดุบูููู ุจุตุฑุงุน ุงูุจูุงุก ุถุฏ ุงูููุฑุ ูุงูุฌูุงูุ ุงูู
ุฌุงุนุงุชุ ุงูุนููุ ุงูุงู
ุฑุงุถ ูุงูุญุฑุจ ุงูุงูููุฉ. | Our ancestors were very busy surviving poverty, drought, famine, riot, disease and civil war. |
ูุงุฎูุฑุงูุ ูุฌุฏ ุงูุตููููู ุงูููุชุ ุงูุซุฑูุฉ ูุงูุชูููููุฌูุง ูุฎูู ุญูุงุฉ ู
ุซุงููุฉ ูุทุงูู
ุง ุญูู
ูุง ุจูุง | And finally, Chinese people have the time, wealth and technology to create an ideal life they've always wanted. |
ูุฑุงุฑุงู ุฌู
ุงุนูุงู ูุฑุฑู 1.3 ุจูููู ุดุฎุต ุชุณุจุจุช ูู ุงูุชููุจุงุช ุงูุงูุชุตุงุฏูุฉ ูุงูุทูุจ ุนูู ูู ุดูุกุ ู
ู ุงูุฑุนุงูุฉ ุงูุตุญูุฉ ูุงูุชุนููู
ุงูู ุงูุงุตูู ู ุงูุณูุน ุงูุงุณุชููุงููุฉ. | The collective decision made by 1.3 billion people has caused the fluctuation in economics and demand on everything, from health care and education to property and consumer goods. |
ูุจู
ุง ุฃู ุงูุตูู ุชูุนุจ ุฏูุฑุง ูุงู
ุง ูู ุงูุงูุชุตุงุฏ ูุงูุฌุบุฑุงููุง ุงูุณูุงุณูุฉ ุงูุนุงูู
ูุฉุ ุฃู ุงููุฑุงุฑุงุช ุงูุชู ุชููู
ุนูู ุงูุฃุจุฑุงุฌ ูุงูุชูุงููุฏ ุงูุตูููุฉ ุงูุฃุฎุฑู ูู ููุงูุฉ ุงูู
ุทุงู ุชุคุซุฑ ุนูู ูู ุดุฎุต ูู ุงูุนุงูู
. | As China plays such an important role in the global economy and geopolitics, the decisions made based on the zodiac and other Chinese traditions end up impacting everyone around the world. |
ูู ููุงู ุดุฎุต ู
ู ุจุฑุฌ ุงููุฑุฏ ููุง. | Are there any Monkeys here? |
2016 ูู ุนุงู
ุงููุฑุฏ. | 2016 is the Year of the Monkey. |
ุงููุฑูุฏ ุฐููุฉุ ุบุฑูุจุฉุ ู
ุจุฏุนุฉ ูู
ุคุฐูุฉ. | Monkeys are clever, curious, creative and mischievous. |
ุดูุฑุง ููู
. | Thank you. |
ุฃูุง ุงู
ุฑุฃุฉ ุฅูุฑุงููุฉ ุฃู
ุฑูููุฉ ู
ุณูู
ุฉุ ู
ุซู ูู ูุงุญุฏ ูููู
. | I'm an Iranian-American Muslim female, like all of you. |
ูุฃูุง ุฃูุถุงู ููุงูุฉ ููู
ูุฏูุง ุงูุนุฏุงูุฉ ุงูุฅุฌุชู
ุงุนูุฉุ ููู ุงูุดูุก ุงูุฐู ุฃุตุฑู ุนูู ุฃูู ุนู
ู ูุนูู. | And I'm also a social justice comedian, something that I insist is an actual job. |
ูุชูุถูุญ ู
ุนูู ุฐููุ ุงุณู
ุญูุง ูู ุฃู ุฃุฎุจุฑูู
ููู ูุตูุชู ุฅูู ููุง. | To explain what that is, let me tell you how I got here. |
ุฃูุง ุฃู
ุซูู ูู ุฌู
ูุน ุฃูุญุงุก ุงูุจูุงุฏ. | I've performed all over the country. |
ูุฅุณู
ุญูุง ูู ุฃู ุฃุฎุจุฑูู
ุฃู ุฃู
ุฑููุง ุนุฑููุฉุ ุฃููุณ ูุฐููุ | And let me tell you, America is majestic, right? |
ุญุตูุช ุนูู ุทุจูุนุชูุง ุงูู
ููุจุฉุ ู
ุทุงุนู
ุจุณูููุช ุงูููู ูู
ุฑุถ ุงูุณูุฑู ุนูู ู
ุฏ ุงูุจุตุฑ. | It's got breathtaking nature, waffle houses and diabetes as far as the eye can see. |
ุฅูู ุญูุงู ุดูุก ู
ุง. | It is really something. |
ุญุงููุงูุ ูู
ููู ุชูุณูู
ุณูุงู ุฃู
ุฑููุง ุฅูู ุซูุงุซ ูุฆุงุช ุฑุฆูุณูุฉ: ูู ุงูุบุงูุจ ููุงู ุฃูุงุณ ุฑุงุฆุนููุ ูุงูุญุงูุฏูู ููููุฑูุฏุง. | Now, the American population can be broken up into three main categories: there's mostly wonderful people, haters and Florida. |
ุจุงูุฅุถุงูุฉ ุฅูู ูููุฑูุฏุงุ ุฃูุซุฑ ูุฆุฉ ุฅุซุงุฑุฉ ููููู ููุง ูู ุงูุญุงูุฏูู. | Besides Florida, the most troubling category here are the Haters. |
ุฅููู
ุฃูููุฉุ ููููู
ูุนูุถูููู ุนู ู
ุดุงูููู
ุจููููู
ุฃูุซุฑ ุญุฏูุฉ. | They are a minority, but they overcompensate by being extra loud. |
ูุฏููู
ุนูุฏุฉ ูุงุจูููู ุจุดุฃู ุงูุชุฑููุจุฉ ุงูุณูุงููุฉุ ููุนู
ุ ูุฑุชุฏู ุจุนุถ ุงูุฑุฌุงู ุงููุนุจ ุงูุนุงูู. | They have the Napoleon complex of demographics, and yes, some of the men do wear heels. |
ููู
ู
ุซูุฉ ููู
ูุฏูุง ุงูุนุฏุงูุฉ ุงูุฅุฌุชู
ุงุนูุฉุ ูุฏูู ูู ุชุบููุฑ ูุคูุงุก ุงูุญุงูุฏููุ ูุฃููู
ููุฑููู ุงููุซูุฑ ู
ู ุงูุฃุดูุงุกุ ุงูุดูุก ุงูุฐู ูููุฏู ุฅูู ูุชุงุฆุฌ ุณูุจูุฉุ ู
ุซู ุงูุนูุตุฑูุฉ ูุงูุนูู ูุชูุฏ ููุบูุช ุงูู
ุบูู ูุงูู
ูุณููู ูุงููุงุดุท ุงูุณูุงุณู ุงูุฃู
ุฑููู. | As a social justice comedian, it's my goal to convert these haters, because they hate a lot of things, which leads to negative outcomes, like racism, violence and Ted Nugent. |
ูุฐู ููุณุช ูุงุฆู
ุฉ ุญุตุฑูุฉุ ุฑุจู
ุง ูุงุชูู 3 ุฅูู 7 ุจููุฏ. | This is not an exhaustive list; I'm probably missing 3-7 items. |
ููู ุงููุฏู ููุ ุนูููุง ุฃู ูุญุณุจ ุญุณุงุจ ุงูุญุงูุฏูู. | But the point is, we have to reckon with the haters. |
ููู ููุงู ุงุฎุชูุงู ุถู
ู ูุฐู ุงูู
ุฌู
ูุนุฉ ูููุณ ูุนุงูุงู ุฃู ููุชูู ุฃุซุฑูู
ุฌู
ูุนุงูุ ุฃููุณ ูุฐููุ | But there's variance within this group and it's not efficient to go after all of them, right? |
ูุฐุง ู
ุง ูู
ุชู ุจู ูู ุฃููู ุฃูุดุฃุชู ุชุตูููุงู ุนูู
ูุงู ุฑููุนุงู ููุญุงูุฏูู. | So what I've done is created a highly scientific Taxonomy of Haters. |
ุฃุฎุฐุชู ุฃุณุงุณุงู ุฌู
ูุน ุงูุญุงูุฏููุ ููุถุนุชูู
ูู ุทุจู ู
ุฎุจุฑู ู
ุซู ุงูุนุงููู
ุ ููุฐุง ู
ุง ูุฌุฏุชู. | I basically took all of the haters, I put them in a petri dish, like a scientist, and this is what I found. |
ุฃููุงูุ ูุฏููุง ุงูู
ุชุตูุฏูู. | First off, we have the trolls. |
ูุคูุงุก ูู
ุญุฏููุชูู
ุงูุฑูู
ูุฉ ุงูู
ุชููุนุฉ ู
ู ุงูุญุงูุฏูู. | These are your garden-variety digital haters. |
ุฅููู
ุงูุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงูุฐูู ุชุฑููุง ูุธุงุฆููู
ูุฐุง ูู
ูููู
ูุดุฑ ููุฏูููุงุช ุนูู ููุชููุจ ุทูู ุงูููู
. | They're the people who quit their jobs so they can post on YouTube videos all day long. |
ูููุงู ุฃูุถุงู ุงูู
ุฏููุนูู ู
ู ูุจู ุงูุญุงูุฏูู. | There's also the drive-by haters. |
ุญุงููุงูุ ุณุชุณูุท ุงูุฃุถูุงุก ุนูู ูุคูุงุก ุงููุงุณุ ุณููุชุธุฑูู ุชุญูู ุงูุถูุก ุฅูู ุงูููู ุงูุฃุฎุถุฑ ูุนูุฏู
ุง ูุชุญููุ ุณููุชููู ุจุตูุชู ุนุงููุ "ุนูุฏูุง ุฅูู ุฃูุทุงููู
!" | Now, these people will be at a stoplight, they'll wait for the light to turn green and when it does, they yell, "Go back to your own country!" |
ุงูุขู ู
ุฑุฉ ูู ุงูููู
ุ ุณูุฎุฑุฌูู ูุนููุงู ู
ู ุณูุงุฑุงุชูู
ููุญูุฏูู ุนูููู
ูู ูุฌูููู
. | Now back in the day, they would've actually gotten out of their cars and hated you to your face. |
ูููู ุณููุนูููุง ููุณ ูู
ุง ุงุนุชุงุฏูุง - ุงูุชู ูู ุฅุดุงุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู ููุฑูุถ ูู ุฃู
ุฑููุง. | But they just don't make them like they used to -- which is another sign of the decline in America. |
ุงููุฆุฉ ุงูุซุงููุฉ ุฑุณุงูุชูุง ุงูู
ูุฌูุฉ ุงูุชุนุตุจ ูู
ุฌู
ูุนุชูุง ุงูู
ูุชู
ูุฉ ุชุนุทููุง ุบุทุงุกุงู ููุฑู ุงูุญุงูุฏ. | The next category is the mission-oriented-bigot- whose-group-affiliation- gives-them-cover-for-hating hater. |
ูุฑุบุจู ูุคูุงุก ุงูุฃุดุฎุงุต ูู ุงูุญูุฏ ุนุจุฑ ู
ูุธู
ุฉ ุชุจุฏู ูุทููุฉุ ู
ุซู ููุณูุฉ ุฃู ู
ูุธู
ุฉ ุบูุฑ ุฑุจุญูุฉุ ูุบุงูุจุงู ู
ุง ูุญูู ููู
ุงูุชุญุฏุซ ุจุตูุชู ุนูู ุนููู ุงูุฒู
ู. | These guys like to hate via a seemingly nice organization, like a church or a nonprofit, and they oftentimes like to speak in an old-timey voice. |
ููู ู
ุง ูุซูุฑ ุฅูุชู
ุงู
ู ุฃูุซุฑ ูู ุงูู
ุฌู
ูุนุฉ ุงูุญุงูุฏุฉ ุงูู
ุชููุจุฉ. | But the group I'm most interested in is the swing hater. |
ุงูุญุงูุฏ ุงูู
ุชููุจ ูู ุดููู ุงููุงุฎุจ ุงูู
ุชููุจ -- ูุง ูุณุชุทูุนูู ุฅุชุฎุงุฐ ูุฑุงุฑ! | The swing hater is sister to the swing voter -- they just can't decide! |
ุฅููู
ู
ุซู ุงููุงุณูุงุช ุตุงุญุจุงุช ุงูููุฑ ุงูุฐูู ูุชุญูููู ู
ู ุงูุญูุฏ ุฅูู ุนุฏู
ุงูุญูุฏ. | They're like ideological sluts who move from hating to not hating. |
ูููุนููู ุฐูู ูุฃูู ููุณ ูุฏููู
ู
ุนููู
ุงุช ูุงููุฉ. | And they do it because they don't have enough information. |
ูุฐู ูู ุงูู
ุฌู
ูุนุฉ ุงูุชู ุฃุฑุบุจู ูู ุงุณุชูุฏุงููุง ุจููู
ูุฏูุง ุงูุนุฏุงูุฉ ุงูุงุฌุชู
ุงุนูุฉ | This is the group I like to target with social justice comedy. |
ูู
ุงุฐุง ุงูููู
ูุฏูุง ุงููุฒููุฉุ | Why comedy? |
ูุฃูู ูุนูู ู
ููุงุณ ุงูููู
ูุฏูุง ุฅูู ุงูู
ูุชูุจ ูู ูุชูุจุ ููุถููู ุงูุฃู
ุฑููู ุงูุนุงุฏู ุงูููู
ูุฏูุงุ ูู
ุง ุชุฑูู ูู ูุฐุง ุงูุฑุณู
ุงูุจูุงูู. | Because on a scale of comedy to brochure, the average American prefers comedy, as you can see from this graph. |
ุชุญุธู ุงูููู
ูุฏูุง ุจุดุนุจูุฉ ูุจูุฑุฉ. | Comedy is very popular. |
ูุจุงูู
ูุงุณุจุฉุ ูุฐุง ุฑุณู
ุจูุงูู ุฏููู ุญุณุงุจูุงูุ ูุชุฌ ุนู ุฃุฑูุงู
ููู
ูุฉ. | And by the way, this is a mathematically accurate graph, generated from fake numbers. |
ุงูุณุคุงู ุญุงููุงู ูู: ูู
ุงุฐุง ุชุนู
ู ููู
ูุฏูุง ุงูุนุฏุงูุฉ ุงูุงุฌุชู
ุงุนูุฉุ | Now, the question is: Why does social justice comedy work? |
ุฃููุงู ุจุณุจุจ ุฃููุง ุชุฌุนููู
ุชุถุญููู. | Because, first off, it makes you laugh. |
ูุนูุฏู
ุง ุชุถุญูููุ ุชุฏุฎููู ูู ุญุงูุฉ ู
ู ุงูุตุฑุงุญุฉ. | And when you're laughing, you enter into a state of openness. |
ููู ูุญุธุฉ ุงูุตุฑุงุญุฉ ูุงูุฅููุชุงุญุ ูู
ููู ูู
ู
ุซู ููู
ูุฏูุง ุงูุนุฏุงูุฉ ุงูุงุฌุชู
ุงุนูุฉ ุงูุฌูุฏ ุฃู ูุฏูุน ุจุจุงูุฉ ูุงู
ูุฉ ู
ู ุงูู
ุนููู
ุงุชุ ูุฅุฐุง ู
ุง ูุงููุง ู
ูุฑุฉ ุญูุงูุ ุงููุญุต ุงูุดุฑุฌู. | And in that moment of openness, a good social justice comedian can stick in a whole bunch of information, and if they're really skilled, a rectal exam. |
ุฅูููู
ุจุนุถ ุงูููุงุนุฏ ุงูุฃุณุงุณูุฉ ูููู
ูุฏูุง ุงูุนุฏุงูุฉ ุงูุงุฌุชู
ุงุนูุฉ: ุฃููุงูุ ุฃููุง ููุณุช ู
ุชุญูุฒุฉ | Here are some ground rules for social justice comedy: first off, it's not partisan. |
ููุณุช ูุฐู ููู
ูุฏูุง ุณูุงุณูุฉุ ุฅููุง ุญูู ุงูุนุฏุงูุฉุ ููุง ุฃุญุฏ ุถุฏ ุงูุนุฏุงูุฉ. | This isn't political comedy, this is about justice, and no one is against justice. |
ุซุงููุงูุ ุฃููุง ุฌุฐุงุจุฉ ููุฏูุฉุ ุชุฌุนููู
ุชุดุนุฑูู ููุฃููู
ุชุฌูุณูู ุฏุงุฎู ูุทูุฑุฉ ุจูุฑูุชู. | Two, it's inviting and warm, it makes you feel like you're sitting inside of a burrito. |
ุซุงูุซุงูุ ุฅููุง ู
ุถุญูุฉุ ููููุง ุนุงุจุฑุฉุ ูู
ูููู
ู
ุซูุงู ุณู
ุงุน ุฃุทุฑูุญุฉ ู
ุซูุฑุฉ ููุฅูุชู
ุงู
ุญูู ุชูุงูุช ุงูู
ุฏุงุฎูู. ู
ุบููุฉ ูู ุดูู ููุชุฉ ุฎุฑุงุฆูุฉ ุฑุงููุฉ ุญูุงู. | Three, it's funny but sneaky, like you could be hearing an interesting treatise on income inequality, that's encased in a really sophisticated poop joke. |
ููุฐุง ุฃุฑู ุนู
ู ููู
ูุฏูุง ุงูุนุฏุงูุฉ ุงูุงุฌุชู
ุงุนูุฉ. | Here's how I see social justice comedy working. |
ูุจู ุนุฏุฉ ุณููุงุชุ ุฌู
ุนุชู ู
ุฌู
ูุนุฉ ู
ู ุงูู
ู
ุซููู ุงููุฒูููู ุงูุฃู
ุฑููููู ุงูู
ุณูู
ูู ุจุทุฑููุฉ ุณูู
ูุฉ -- ูุชุฌูููุง ูู ุฌู
ูุน ุฃูุญุงุก ุงูุจูุงุฏ ุฅูู ุฃู
ุงูู ู
ุซู ุฃูุงุจุงู
ุง ูุฃุฑูุฒููุง ูุชููุณู ูุฌูุฑุฌูุง -- ุฃู
ุงูู ุญูุซ ูุญุจูู ุงูู
ุณูู
ูู ููู
ูุง ุจุนู
ู ุนุฑูุถ ุงุฑุชุฌุงููุฉ. | A few years ago, I rounded up a bunch of Muslim-American comedians -- in a non-violent way -- And we went around the country to places like Alabama, Arizona, Tennessee, Georgia -- places where they love the Muzzies -- and we did stand-up shows. |
ุฃุณู
ููุง ุงูุฌููุฉ "ุงูู
ุณูู
ูู ูุงุฏู
ูู!" | We called the tour "The Muslims Are Coming!" |
ูุญูููุง ูุฐุง ุฅูู ูููู
ุ ูุจุนุฏ ุฃู ุนุฑุถ ุงููููู
ุ ุฃูููุช ู
ุฌู
ูุนุฉ ุญุงูุฏุฉ ู
ุนุฑููุฉ 300000 ุฏููุงุฑ ุนูู ู
ูุตู ูุญู
ูุฉ ู
ุนุงุฏูุฉ ููู
ุณูู
ูู ู
ุน ููุฆุฉ ุงูููู ุงูุญุถุฑูุ ููู ูุธุงู
ู
ุชุฑู ุงูุฃููุงู ูู ูููููุฑู. | We turned this into a movie, and then after the movie came out, a known hate group spent 300,000 dollars on an anti-Muslim poster campaign with the MTA -- that's the New York City subway system. |
ุญุงููุงูุ ูุงูุช ุงูู
ูุตูุงุช ูุฌูู
ูุฉ ุญูุงูุ ูุงูููู
ุนู ุณูุก ุชุตู
ูู
ูุง -- ุฃุนูู ุฅุฐุง ููุชู
ุชุฑูุฏูู ุฃู ุชููููุง ู
ุชุนุตุจููุ ูุฏ ุชุญุชุงุฌูู ุฃูุถุงู ุฅูู ุฎุท ุฃูุถู. | Now, the posters were truly offensive, not to mentioned poorly designed -- I mean, if you're going to be bigoted, you might as well use a better font. |
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