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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By blaming my previous FU on a man period.
POST: Obligatory not today but a few days ago.
Anyway to get things going. I had this on/off relationship with this beautiful blond girl, but every time when my confidence builds up she shoots me down for another guy. So this has been going on for about two years.
Anyway a few days ago we started talking alot. And it ended up with us sexting and the evening after that I phoned her we had a nice chat and all that jazz.
Then the next night I get that feeling of its about to happen again. So I start to ask her why she won't reply in the mornings, why she is being so short with me, etc.
I end up forcing her to tell me whether I stand a chance and then she says "I dunno its hard, there is someone else." I fucking lost it. Just told her 'Thanks thats all I wanted to know goodnight'
The next day I feel shit because I feel like I forced her and "Boo hoo, FSTHalo is such a bad person I must fix it now before its to late." I try to explain why I was like that, could not find a good/funny way to say it. My nose starts bleeding and DING! Periods! That explains girls strange behavior so lemme use it.
After reading what I told her, I considered death as an escape from this major fuck up. 3days later still won't see whether she replied.
TL;DR: | Forced a girl to tell me where I stand in her eyes. Fucked it up. Tried to say sorry blamed it on man periods. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: BF not comfortable with my getting a nose job..tells me after I book non refundable date and request time off work.
POST: I [25F] have wanted a nose job for as long as I can remember. I finally save enough money for the procedure, had a consultation with one of the best rhinoplasty surgeons in NYC was able to request the time off of work. But before all of this I had a deep discussion with him about it.. And he [28M] of course said "you don't need it..you're beautiful just the way you are. I support you as long as this is not part of any insecurity issues you have."
Today I get an email from him telling me he wants me to wait awhile and he wants me to be happy with myself first, and if I still want it down the road he will support me. He said he is afraid if I do the surgery that it will cause a rift between us.
I get there are some people like myself who don't see anything negative or scandalous about elective surgery.. And then there are those who just dont understand it. He is scared that after this I will find something else to "fix"..
I just want to be clear.. I do not need it nor is it an obvious flaw to anyone who knows or meets me. It is just something I know can slighty improve my face and will truly make me happy. I'm angry because I already got this far, but I know now if I go through with it my relationship will suffer.
TL;DR: | BF not comfortable with my getting a nose job, tells me after I booked the non refundable date and requested the time off work. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I (20M) find it difficult to genuinely respect my mother (51F) ?
POST: Alright, throway account for obvious reasons.
My mom certainly has some idiosyncrasies. The important disclaimer is that she was diagnosed with anxiety about 10 years ago, and has likely had it before. I believe that these problems were probably brought on by her completely nuts dad (divorced 4 times, etc), who was borderline abusive growing up.
My mom is generally someone who is very kind-hearted, but is also definitely not able to be successful and organized as an adult . She hasn't worked 'outside the home' in about 10 years (when my sister was born). She does not do a very good job of cooking (most meals literally have 3 ingredients), and doesn't really do a ton of stuff at the home. She absolutely cannot handle conflict (or really having to deal with any sort of stress), and this is probably why she quit working. She also gets hair-brained ideas of projects to do, and it usually ends in complete failure. She is also just inherently lazy in relationships,etc
The problem is, I love my mom still, and she can definitely sense that I do not genuinely respect her. I mean, I don't blame her. It is easy for me when I am 20 to assume that I will be able to be a great parent, and have a great job and love it, etc. But it really hurts our relationship.
TL;DR: | my mom has some issues, and I find it hard to genuinely have respect for what she does, etc. How can I gain respect for her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20F) told my BF of 3 years (21M) that I made out with another guy.
POST: I recently got a new job and one of my coworkers, an older and very handsome guy, has had a thing for me from the beginning. The night before last, as I was getting into my car, he kissed me, and yeah, I kissed back. Then I drove home to my boyfriend.
I felt horrible, so I told my boyfriend what happened last night. Understandably, he freaked out and I left to stay at my parents. I told him I needed a break to sort things out, and that I was so so sorry.
He's been texting me all day saying that the break is just to fuck other guys and that if I leave him he'll blow his brains out because he doesn't have anything left to live for. He's a HUGE recluse and very co-dependent, so I feel terrible, like I should have just kept my mouth shut and lived on.
Did I do the right thing? Where do I go from here? He's my best friend but I've been unhappy for a long time. I don't want to lose him but we definitely have things that we have to work out.
TL;DR: | Kissed my coworker, told my boyfriend, and now we're separated for the 1st time and I feel horrible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Feeling like I need to break-up with my BF to go back to an ex.
POST: I'm 22. Gay. My ex is 20, we'll call him Michael. My current boyfriend is 22, we'll call him Steve. I apologize if this gets wordy in advance.
Steve and I have a great relationship. He's done NOTHING wrong. He's a great boyfriend, we have a great time together, he's attractive, he's stable. He's a great catch.
Michael and I met almost a year ago. We dated for about a month, and have since become best friends. We broke up because he had no sense of assertiveness at all, and I didn't want to date someone that would let me walk all over him. I need someone who can take care of himself, and Steve has been that right from the get go. Michael's worked on these issues with a counselor though. He's impossibly cute, and in the past year, I've talked to him roughly 3 hours a day almost everyday. I know Michael as well as I know anyone.
Michael makes me happier than Steve. Michael also makes me angrier than Steve. All emotions are more intensified in regards to Michael. The good is much better, but the bad is much worse. Steve never pisses me off terribly badly whereas I've been really angry with Michael. Our "break-up" was messy even though we fell into best-friendship not even two days after.
I have a great thing going here with Steve, but feel like... it might not be fair to be with Steve when Michael's there and able to make me happier than Steve can. Steve is very stable, safe, reliable... An ideal boyfriend. Michael gets past my defenses in all ways... Making life both better and worse than Steve is capable of. Which one am I supposed to be with here?
TL;DR: | Current BF is amazing and stable and an ideal picture of a BF, but my best friend/ex makes me feel emotions, both positive and negative, beyond what my BF can. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trusting a fart
POST: So this happened Monday.., I was at my girlfriends parents house for Easter weekend (we leave Tuesday) so I wake up around 10ish to a text from my gf saying her and her parents went to run errands and they will return this afternoon. So I text back and say ok I'll see you soon..and I decided to go into the living room and watch some T.V while I ponder what I was gonna eat....so all a sudden a huge fart creeps up on me...so since nobody is around a let it rip...only it wasn't a fart....it was a shart that went Super Saiyan 4...and vicious brown liquid spread all over the couch like herpes on a band trip....did I mention its a *White Fabric Sofa*? So I ran to the bathroom... trailing shit on the carpet....the white carpet.....and changed and cleaned myself up...and i ventured back out into the bio-zone that is my future in-laws living room...and I see a huge stain of shit that resembles the 90s Nick logo...so I googled ways to clean it off...and lo and fucking behold...they don't have the baking soda I need...and the nearest store is 4 miles away....well I'm fucked reddit
TL;DR: | Was on in-laws couch...had to fart...did fart but there was much, MUCH extra behind the fart now couch is destroyed along with my relationship with my in laws... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My BF [28M] and I [26F] have been dating for 1 year and are fighting over time management.
POST: Reddit, me an my boyfriend have been seeing each other for roughly 1 year. We both have busy schedules, but we have been making time to see each other. The other day my boyfriend was close by and had a bit of free time; he wanted to go to his home and take care of some things. I asked him to wait for me so we could hang out for a bit before he went to his house. However, he decided instead to take care of his responsibilities instead. (He lives very far away.)
I am really annoyed with him. He knew that going home would annoy me, yet, he did it anyway. I feel we have limited time as it is, and so should try to spend as much time together as we can.
Because of this I am considering breaking up with him.
My questions are:
1) Am I wrong for being annoyed at him for choosing to do his responsibilities over spending some time with me?
2) If I am correct for being annoyed at him: Am I being too harsh, I am considering breaking up, on him for doing this?
3) If your SO did something that they knew would annoy you, how would you react? Would it matter what that something
was?
4) In what situations have you decided to take care of something you deemed important instead of seeing your SO and thus annoying them. Why was this ok?
Please help me clarify my thoughts!
TL;DR: | BF (m)[28] chose to take care of his responsibilities over spending time with me (f)[26]. I am annoyed to the point of breaking up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] have been dating 3 months and 99% of her texts are negative. Should I say something?
POST: Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
When im with my girlfriend we are great and we both seem to be on cloud9 (young love) but when she texts me she is literally ALWAYS complaining. She talks about how her work stresses her out, school stresses her out, school drama (I dont deal with drama but she goes to a different school), work stress and how she is literally always in a bad mood it seems except when shes with me. It makes it hard for me to tell her when im having a good day because I feel bad since she is literally always complaining about how work sucks or school sucks. When I have problems with school or work I deal with it and find it a little depressing when she has to tell me every single little problem she has all day long. She almost never sends me positive texts!!! Should I say anything or just deal with it?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend texts me how much her day sucks every single day or how she stressed and I find it depressing. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24F] SO [24M] of nearly 2 years is moving out. Is it over?
POST: We've been together for nearly two years now. Both fairly adventurous people. We moved across the country together (into separate houses) on a whim only a few months in, and moved in together after about 9 months of dating. This was definitely rushed as this is both of our first real "adult" relationship, but we've always gotten along.
He's moving out in a few months, citing a need to live cheaply (ie out of his truck) and freely. Granted, he will be taking a very low-paid internship, but our rent is very cheap. After this internship, it is unclear what his plan is, but probably to leave the area altogether.
Neither of us have really settled well in the place we're in, nor do we have particular attachments or very fulfilling jobs. I'm beginning to think seriously about my career (as is he), but he is definitely somewhat more limited as to where he will be able to accomplish his goals. I have loved living together, and I love him, and would happily relocate to wherever he chooses. He's my best friend, and while I am understanding of his desires to move out, it's leaving me wondering if this is actually a step back for our relationship?
It stresses me out whenever we talk about it, but I am able to converse openly without too much emotion on the issue. On other issues though, I am probably more emotional than he'd like. He's a super stoic dude, and I've been treated in the past for depression. It's pretty mild at this point, but I'm starting to think this is a big issue for him that he's basically escaping.
Another issue is that our once amazing sex life (3-6 times/week) is waaay down. I'm talking, like, once a month. He knows that's not okay for me, but says hes just not a sexual person. (Then why was it previously so great?) Our non-sexual intimacy and communication are still excellent. Do you think he's checking out?
TL;DR: | SO is moving out of our shared apartment in a few months but claims it is not a break up. Has also significantly diminished the frequency of sex. Should I just move on or is this something we can get over? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure if I should give him space or make him talk it out.
POST: My SO (27) and I (25) have been in a relationship for almost a year. We have a very strong, and great relationship. We don't yell at one another and always talk our issues out. But something is just not working for me.
Each time we have a issue that needs to be addressed, be it money concerns, one of us getting wrapped up in something and not spending enough time with the other, or any basic thing that comes up between couples we always start the argument, I hate using that word because we don't argue, no one raises there voice or is not heard, but it is an argument, the same. He shuts me out, he will spend an hour, not come home right away after work, sometimes he will fall asleep angry, which we said we would never do, before we can actually talk. I know he needs his space to get his thoughts together and he tells me that is all he is doing but I hate the silence. Not to sound mean but usually it is his fault and I feel like he is being selfish. I don't find it fair that I have to wait for him to get a place where he can apologize and talk to me about it.
Am I being an unreasonable girlfriend? Should I give him space or should I make him talk?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend always needs space (usually a few hours) to collect himself before he apologizes and we talk about whatever we are arguing about. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: And now I resort to the internet for 'How to ask her out' advice.
POST: There's this girl who's been in my English class since september, and from about 5 months ago I've somehow developed this insane crush on her without even properly knowing her. We have exchanged words on occasion, just casual stuff about the lesson and once about a sandwich I was gonna eat during a mock exam, but never really had a full on conversation. It's weirding me out.
And now we come to the big reveal: the reason I bring this to you fine folk is that the 27th of May was the last of our English lessons together. There's gonna be an English exam on the 24th of June which we both have and a study period on the 21st with my English teacher which both of us are probably going to go to (I assume she's going to be there, but might be wrong.) These are probably the last two times I will see her if I don't make a move and I don't know how I'd deal with that fact.
I'm an exceptionally shy guy, which is probably the reason I thus far haven't done anything remotely like asking her out. I was thinking about asking her to the college prom (happened on the 3rd June) but the window in which to buy tickets was only a couple of days and that was a few months back, when this thing was in its adolescence.
Further, she did go to the prom with a few of her friends, and I saw a photo on facebook with her and a guy captioned 'Prom Date <3' but that's the only photo of the two together out of about 50 in her Prom album and no relationship status updates have occurred since so I'm not sure what's going on there.
So my question; on either the 21st of 24th, IF I do see her, how do I approach the situation? I think I should say here that I've never had a girlfriend before, so what lies in the future is unchartered territory for myself. I think I could deal with a no but I don't know whether not asking would be worse for me than a rejection.
TL;DR: | I wanna ask this girl out I don't really know that well, and may only have two opportunities to see or speak to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [27/f] broke off any possible future with guy [29/m] I'm casually seeing through a rather cold message.
POST: So this is my first post in Reddit and I created this account since I feel that I need someone to validate what I feel, or at least make me feel that what I did was correct.
There is this guy I've known for about 2 months already, and we've only met twice! As with every other causes for confusion out there, the guy started very strong with regular texts, until it slowly decreased. But we still talk regularly and comfortably and we even have a date scheduled this Saturday.
We've known we would be having this date since three weeks ago, on our second date. So you would assume some plans have been put in place. But he kept delaying making any concrete plans and last Wednesday promised to provide me with concrete details for Thursday. On Thursday (two days before the date), instead of receiving concrete details, I received a message saying that their family would be going out of town on Saturday for a celebration so we would have to reschedule.
No apologies, no proposed date, not even a call.
Out of frustration, I replied rather coldly:
*"Hey ___, it was nice getting to know you the past months but I feel that this is it. We're not going to see each other ever again. Goodluck with your life."*
Some of my friends said it was too harsh and an unreasonable reaction to his cancellation. My second sentence, particularly, felt that I was already closing all doors. Well, when i said that, it was more of a statement, an observation -- given that we only see each other every three weeks anyway, and now we're delaying this third one.
It would definitely have been easier to ghost, and I felt that when he cancelled, it was really the end of it and instead of just telling me, he would go through this "ghosting process" like what I've had done to me several times. In order to avoid that process because it's cowardice, I took the initiative of ending possibilities altogether.
TL;DR: | I need advice, validation, or even mere comments of my last message to him and how I should have handled it better. He didn't reply anymore anyway. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] and my unclear relationship with [24M], a platonic friend/unavailable dude/unrequited crush.
POST: 22F likes 24M who is geographically unavailable.
They used to spend a lot of time together, when they were in the same location, but he never made a move, and she did not act on her feelings.
She semi admitted feelings once, the last time they saw each other, and he now says things of sometimes friendly, sometimes incredibly ROMANTIC, and sometimes hilariously sexual nature when they talk, which is daily.
What is her move? ALL responses welcome. (i.e., he's been begging you to visit, so just do it, or, you're an ego boost for him, just move on, etc.)
TL;DR: | 22F has crush on 24M who frequently makes it seem he feels the same way. They haven't seen each other since the spring and live many hours apart. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to reveal the dark secrets to the person you love?
POST: I(24) have a very bad past, of which my husband(27, 2 yrs into relationship) knows nothing about. I had a guyfriend, whom I fooled around with more than once. It was a purely physical relationship, no emotions were involved, whatsoever. I had to suffer the consequences of it, as an evidence started spreading around in the place I work. I moved to a different country, where no one knows who I am, and started a new life. 2-3 years afterwards, I fell in love and got married to this wonderful man. Even though I had many a opportunity to tell him, I never got the courage to tell him.
He puts me on a pedestal, and thinks I am perfect. I am too afraid I will ruin his feelings for me and thus sabotage my relationship. Deep under, I feel that I am cheating him by not being truthful to him, while he trusts me with everything in life. He told me about his past, but I could not. I know I did a huge mistake, and I started this new life, and act like nothing ever went wrong. If I tell him now, after a year of our marriage, what if he stops trusting me like before? Is there an easier way of putting it in words? When I try to phrase it, I never got past *I have to tell you something*... How should I break this to him, or should I even tell him?
TL;DR: | Made some mistakes in the past. Not sure if I should tell my husband, as I am scared it will ruin our marriage. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (F20) tell a guy (M20) how I really feel
POST: So, ive been thinking to post this for around a week but didnt know if i should, but here i am, so here goes! Myself and this guy were chatting for a bit, we got extremely close, spoke every night, late phonecalls and cute texts. He lives 300 miles away from me though, and weve never met. We were planning on meeting, planning on doing so much fun things. Then one day, we just randomly stopped talking. I messeged him a few weeks after to ask why, he said he was going through depression and dealing with a few things. We never went back to the way we were, infact, we basically still arent talking, and its been a few months now. The thing is, i still have feelings there, and i really want to tell him but im not sure how, i dont want to come across as that weird girl, but i dont want to start thinking "what if". Helpppp reddit!
TL;DR: | was chatting to a guy for a while, and randomly stopped due to his depressing. Few months down the line i still have feelings, embarrassed and not sure how to tell him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Lost baggage on a Mega bus trip - Please help me out reddit
POST: Greetings.
I'm making this post because i really need help to try to resolve this even though it's probably not possible.
I recently went to the UK for some days. I made the trip from Portugal to London in the 26th February and came back in the 1th of March. In the 28th February i went to Manchester and for this trip, i've chosen Megabus since its cheap and all.The bus made the following trip: London - Manchester - Liverpool.
So, when i embarked the bus in London, i've left my baggage in the place where all the Manchester baggages were, like the driver instructed us to (it seems the Liverpool ones were in another side for easy handling).
When i arrived in Manchester, a lot of bags were already outside the bus (don't know if all of them or not), so i've noticed my bag (or so i thought) and took it to a friends place (near Shudehill Interchange). When i arrived there, i've noticed that that bag was not mine, so someone must have mistaken and taken my bag, and because of that i've took theyr bag. So i went back to the bus station to report my situation, and left the bag (that was not mine) in the megabus office in Shudehill Interchange and reported the issue both to the people there and to the customer support via telephone.
The good thing is that i had a backpack and i had all the most important things in there (Identity card, documents, wallet, all the chargers for my electronic devices, and all) because if not, i would not be able to return to Portugal the next day. Still it sucks because i had all kind of necessary items in the bag that was mistakenly taken.
When i came back to Portugal, i also contacted the megabus customer support via email but until now, they didn't do that much to resolve the issue. The most basic and quicker way would be them contacting each customer of that particular trip and ask them if they were not missing a baggage with the description that i've given.
Anyways, what else can i do reddit?
TL;DR: | I've made a trip with megabus, arrived in Manchester, someone mistook and took my bag, i reported to megabus but the issue is still not resolved. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I have a BMI of 21.6 and I'm overweight.
POST: Before I get any hate for this post, I'm going to disclaim it with I know that a BMI of over 25 is considered overweight.
I'm an Asian 19 year old, 1.73 m (5'8"), 65 kg (143 lb) college student with measurements: 35 in bust, 27 in waist, 38 in hips. Because college sucks and I'm broke, I signed up for a study that took measurements in the form of FMRIs, RMR, and DEXA scans. I got my test results back today (along with quite a good bit of pocket money) and imagine my horror when I discovered that my body fat percentage was 35%.
Now I know that I'm just considered overweight for my age category (33%-39% is considered overweight for females 20-40 yrs old), but keep in mind that I was a three time varsity athlete in high school at a weight of 56.8 kg (125 lb). Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I did literally the freshman 20. But it was hard to break the habit of eating tons every day, which I did because I was starving while working out to stay in peak condition at least 2 hrs a day, even after I stopped going to the gym because laziness.
I found [this article] that actually explains my situation very well. To sum it up, BMI means different things to different ethnicities, and has different implications for disease - for example, the article notes that "researchers found that at the same BMI, Asians had more than double the risk of developing type 2 diabetes than whites."
Getting type 2 diabetes is the opposite of what I want to do, so I've become more than motivated to go to the gym and utilize my campus's several really good gyms, but back on drinking, and start eating way healthier (less midnight pizza??). This side account is going to be for my journey from fat for an Asian to healthy for an Asian.
TL;DR: | I got DEXA scan results back, found out I was overweight for an Asian, and decided to get my life back together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Non-Romantic] I [23F] am going into inpatient care for mental health issues for a month. How do I explain my absence to new friends?
POST: I am depressed and have been for a while. I recently decided that a stay at an inpatient facility would benefit me greatly, and I have everything lined up to be there thru January. I have obviously told my close friends and family (who know I have been struggling with depression) and they have all been incredibly supportive and helpful.
The issue is this- the facility does not allow cell phones or any Internet connected devices. I will only be able to communicate with the "real world" through snail mail.
I have recently started making friends with a new group of people (which is hard for me with my depression), and while I don't know them well enough to tell them exactly what's going on, I do know them well enough that they will notice my absence and be concerned if I say nothing.
I'm concerned that if I tell them I'm mentally ill enough to go into inpatient care I'll scare them away. My family suggested that I just say I'm going camping and won't have Internet access, but that seems like an obvious lie. I'm not an outdoorsy person and who the heck disappears to go camping for a month?
I have also considered posting a facebook message that just says I will be unreachable via social media for the rest of the year. Hopefully then they would see it and not be worried?
I need to to tell them *something* because I don't want this hanging over my head while I'm in treatment.
TL;DR: | depressed, going to a facility with no cellphone or Internet. How do I explain my absence to people I'm not particularly close with? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] and my gf [18F] of 2 years are figuring out college isn't what I expected.
POST: So you know how they say opposites attract right? That's how we fell in love and as time went on we started figuring out that we maybe weren't as good of a match as we thought. I'm just a college freshman and she's still in high school only about a half hour away at all times.
In the past 6 months I've noticed are relationship has gotten kinda stale and I think we've both noticed this but aren't willing to admit it. The little things get to us and sometimes we fight over the dumbest things but I think we're both afraid of being without each other because we're all we've ever really know.
Now that I'm in college I joined a fraternity where I've met a bunch of good guys and sometimes we party and that leads me to talking to other girls. I've sat and wondered at my time in high school what could've happened if I was single. We also haven't been seeing each other as much because I've been busy with school and college life and she's been busy with her senior year.
Which brings me to now, we've both decided to go on a break to figure out what we want. I'm afraid to hurt her and I'm afraid my recent lifestyle might lead to a spiral of loneliness. But I can admit to myself that I'm not as invested into my relationship as I was in the beginning and I'm also dreading the awkwardness of a break up after investing so much time into this.
In the end I'm trying to figure out whether to hold on to the elationship or to end it.
TL;DR: | College life has changed me and my recent behavior. Me and my high school girlfriend of 2 years are trying to figure out what's the best for us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU twice by stuffing my face on vacation in China
POST: This fuck up has been been going on for 3 days so far. I currently live in China and I'm on vacation with my girlfriend in Lijiang, and as any red blooded American should I've been stuffing myself with food, especially since where I'm at has much better food than where I live . However in China the sanitation is questionable at best.
Day one: I began stuffing myself with as much food as I could since lots of it was looking great. However I ate some questionable meat and by later that night I was having farts that my girlfriend could taste.
Day two: I woke up at 4am with a funny feeling and rushed to the bathroom. This led to a gushing flow of hot chocolate from my ass which smelled of death. This happened again by 9pm.
This area is famous for salmon and for lunch my girlfriend and I made our way to a restaurant where I proceeded to eat about 4lbs of salmon, mostly in sashimi form. After lunch I felt a funny feeling again.
For those that don't know, China has squat pots where you gotta squat and try to shit in a hole. I am disabled and gave bad balance and during another flood of chocolate love I proceeded to fart which sprayed it all over the ground behind me.
Day three: I woke up this morning at 830 with another funny feeling. I proceeded to let the dam open and the rush came. However while it smelled of death it had a distinct smell with it... Salmon. I ended up stinking our entire hotel room of a concoction of shit and salmon. I also woke up my girlfriend in the process and now she says she's refusing to eat salmon for a while.
TL;DR: | I sprayed shit on a restaurant bathroom floor and then shit salmon in my hotel. Girlfriend refuses to eat anymore salmon, a food I love. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] got dumped [23F] cause she thought I didn't care. Didn't feel that instant connection but feelings grew strong after a few months. Now I miss her and don't know what to do.
POST: About 6 months ago I met this kind of perfect girl, she was cute, sweet and for some reason she fell head over heels for me. It seems like she fell pretty hard pretty fast, I on the other hand didn't feel that instant connection. There was obviously something there, but it took me some time to really fall for this girl.
In hindsight.. I guess I was kind of a jerk. She literally did everything to try to make it work. I was kind of whatever about the whole thing, I liked her.. I thought she was cute but that was about it.
After a couple of months things changed.. I started falling for her pretty hard. I always knew there was something there, it just took me a little time to feel what she felt the whole time. I honestly didn't give her my everything in the beginning. I didn't always call when I said I would and I didn't always know what to say to her when we had little arguments so I just shut down. I regret my behavior cause she obviously didn't deserve any of that.
I tried really hard to do better though; and I did. My feelings for her grew pretty damn strong and things were actually pretty great for a while. But then of course.. I had one of those moments where I just shut down. She freaked out and told me she was done.
So, now I can't stop thinking about her. I guess I wish for her to be happy, but I don't know.. I fell in love with her. I don't even know what I'm asking here, I think I just needed to vent.
TL;DR: | Girl fell in love with me, I didn't feel that instant connection.. Developed feelings for her after a few months. She broke it off and now I can't stop thinking about her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[17M] cant tell if [16F] is interested or just friendly.
POST: Backstory- I have recently moved into a Neighbourhood ( 2 months ago) and I dont go out other then to drive to work @ 6 am
A few days ago as I was walking to my door from my car after driving home from work. The neighbour [ 16F ] calls out, whom Ive never met before, and intiates a conversation.
We played the whole "How are you" 20 questions game, but it became awkward, so I was trying to end the conversation. As I was walking to the door she says that if I ever want to hang out, she is babysitting today, so I can come over.
At first I thought she was just being a good neighbour, but when I told my friends they said that she is a really shy and timid person who wouldnt really approach someone just to be "friendly".
I dont know if I should do nothing and possible hurt her feelings, or if I should go and hand out with her. ( Which makes me very nervous because If things actually go in the way as a relationship, I havent had a girlfriend in 6 years, if having one that young even counts.)
TL;DR: | Shy Neighbour starts conversation with me and I dont know if she was being friend or if she was trying to start something |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: FWB Relationship Unclear with my (25f) and fwb (29m)
POST: This is a repost as my first one was not approved just FYI.
So ill give a little background. We have been monogamously fooling around for about 9 months now. We have similar backgrounds both coming out of a divorce, him about 2 years ago me about a year ago. Everything started like your normal friend with benefits situation, just booty calls. Then we started spending more and more time together. We hang out at his place almost everyday.
When it started to go down this route I tried to stop it as I knew I would get attached spending that much time with him. I even asked to go back to booty calls. He said no and wanted to continue to hang out or not doing anything at all. He did NOT want to end it.
Seeing as we have an amazing sexual connection and I might have already been a little attached I agreed to continue. Now I am madly in love with this man and don't know what to do. He doesn't want to end and says he cares about me but does not want to do date due to "he needs to figure stuff out before he decides to date anybody" his exact words. I did tell him that I love him and he told me it "puts pressure on him". Part of me feels he is afraid to connect with someone again as his ex wife seriously hurt him. I want to end it just as badly as I want to continue. Sometimes I think its just wishful thinking and maybe down the road we will make it official, other times I just see this ending up as a bad heart break. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | FWB relationship issues. Not moving forward with relationship but not ending it either. Dont know if I should stay for the long haul and see what happens or run for the hills now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/M] an taking a girl [22/F] on a date for the first time since I started talking to her. Been a while, need some advice.
POST: Hey everyone, like the title said, I am taking a girl [22/F] on a date for the first time since I started talking to her 3 days ago. But I haven't been on a date for 2-3 years so I am pretty rusty, and need some honest advice from the community, so I can give my date a good time and show her that I am interested in her for a serious relationship. I haven't have a lot of relationship or experience so I am excited for this.
After talking to her for a while, she mention that she is a Broncos fan and I am thinking about taking her to a Sport bar/restaurant to have food and watch the games. So I hope that's a good idea. Also I would like to know if it would be better to pick her up, or meet her at the place? And for a sport place like that, casual clothes should be okay? Or should I go casual dress?
I am planning to get her flowers when I go on that date.
TL;DR: | Taking a girl on a date for the first time in 2-3 years, need some advice on what to do and bring to show her that I am interested in her and a serious relationship and not be a creep. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Someone previously pretended to like me [22F] in order to get with my SO. Still not over it.
POST: Four years ago, a girl in my class started hanging around and trying to get to know me. We'd always been acquaintances, and had been friends in nursery, so it didn't seem weird. Around half a year later, everything spills out on Facebook and she's posting about how great the sex was with my SO of 2 years (at the time). He admitted he'd slept with her a couple of times. He'd apparently tried to end it, but was scared by her threats to expose everything.
Yeah...
Like I said, it's been four years, so I feel really dumb and just plain disappointed that this is still an issue for me. I went to counselling briefly, and it helped a little, but it was very focussed on my family and it isn't really an option any more due to my circumstances.
**Basically, I freak out. I have a boyfriend, and some friends, and they're all good people, but occasionally I have days where I convince myself that I'm not good enough - that I'll drive him away, or my friends don't really like me and they just want him. I'm not very chatty, so they all end up talking to him a lot more than me anyway.**
I realise that if I can't get over it, then I'm definitely going to drive everyone away anyway, so how do I tell that voice to shut up?
TL;DR: | Girl became my friend to sleep with my boyfriend. Can't shut up the inside voice telling me it's my fault and it's going to happen again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [15 M] with my friend [15 F] for about 4 years. Having trouble getting into a relationship with her.
POST: The issue I have is that I like a girl that is really shy (just like myself). I generally tend to be very picky with girls I like. However, this girl is an exception. She is smart, pretty, extremely caring, and selfless. I honestly don't have any experience with asking a girl out so I need some help.
The problem is that we are sort of acquaintances and if I straight up ask her out I am worried that she will awkwardly reject me and we will never be able to be friends. IMO, the best option is to try to talk to her more so we can both become more comfortable talking to each other.
If we seem to become closer friends then i will consider asking her out. However, I am unsure on how to effectively go about becoming closer friends and what signs I can use to figure out when it is the appropriate time to ask her out. Please, i really need help. If I'm asking for dating advice on the internet on a Saturday night then I seriously need some help with asking a girl out.
TL;DR: | likes a girl, doesn't know how to ask her out, doesn't know how to effectively talk to her and allow us to feel more comfortable talking to each other |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I Confront Her?
POST: Im a 19 yo male and my friend (F 19), she's about 19 too. Shes super innocent and always told me she was a virgin and wouldn't ever have sex with anyone until she was 100%. She's also very honest. We got pretty close the last few months and went out on a date and i almost even kissed her. We had plans to go out again and stuff but after my vacation. So my vacation is over and im back in town. But heres the twist, i just learned she bought birth control pills from her pharmacy. I feel betrayed, back stabbed, and angry. It was like we had a lot, weve been talking for 1.5 years now.
TL;DR: | I really like this one girl, she really seemed to like me, she told me indirectly that she wouldn't have sex with anyone. I left town for 2months and now she's on birth control. Wtf |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I need advice on a potentially violent friend
POST: I have a friend, who I'll call B. I was at lunch in school with B and a few of my other friends. For some reason, B really doesn't like this one boy who I'm friends with, who I'll call Q. B's never liked Q, because he jokes around a lot and B always thinks he's making fun of her, even if he's not. I should note that B transferred from a bad school where fights would break out, so she's always pretty defensive. Lunch was almost over, and I was talking to B while Q talked to a few of our mutual friends nearby. Q wandered over to us and was joking around, which I didn't mind but kind of pissed off B. Q jokingly asked B to see her hand, and he lightly tapped the back of it as part of a joke. Before Q could finish the joke, B jumped at him and started yelling that she would attack him if he touched her again. He stepped back out of surprise, while another friend and I started trying to calm B down. I saw exactly what happened, there was no reason for B to jump at Q. He was really just joking around, and it wasn't like he had hit B or anything. B and I then went to our next class, which we had together. I was trying to avoid pissing her off again, so I started talking to another friend when we got to class. For some reason, she was being really mean to him as well, even though he literally didn't say one word to her.
I don't want to dump this girl as a friend, because she's really fun when she's in a good mood, but I really don't know how to deal with her physically threatening our other friends.
TL;DR: | Friend is joking around, taps the hand of another friend, she almost attacks him, then insults my other friend. I don't want to dump her as a friend, but I don't know how to deal with this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 4 months ago I[25M] was dumped by [19F] after 1.5yr relationship, even after no-contact still can't shake off hope of reconciliation
POST: It's been about 4 months now since she broke up with me. I've spent the first month in no-contact, broke it a few times, but have kept it up for at least 2 months now.
I've been doing everything I should be doing: Having loads of fun, trying new things, going out with friends, working out, critically looking at my life and what I want to do in the coming years (and made some major changes that should've been made months ago).
I really do have the feeling I'm on the right track of my life at the moment, and at times I really am convinced this breakup was a good thing for me: it got me out of some kind of sedated lifestyle and got me critically thinking about what would make me happy again.
Yet even now I catch myself thinking "Once I see her again we'll patch things up", "She probably broke up with me for how I was, she'll see how much I've changed and will warm up to me again" etc. I realise these are not healthy thoughts to 'move on', and logically I know I should shake them off, but emotionally they keep coming back.
How on earth do I get rid of this ?
I'll be seeing her again in a month or so because we're volunteering for the same project*, and I'm afraid I'll still be in this mindset by then and her not reciprocating those feelings are going to hurt me all over again :-/
*) (I'd hoped she'd have bowed out knowing I'd be in charge, but she hasn't, so not much I can do about it)
TL;DR: | After 4 months after break-up, 2 months no-contact, doing everything I should be doing, yet still can't shake the hope of getting her back. How ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by washing my ipod with water
POST: This story took place 7 years ago, when I was 12. I had just gotten an iPod touch for Christmas and had been using it constantly playing games and stuff. As a result the screen was always dirty _ding stupid idea_ run the screen under tap water.
This worked perfectly a few times, until it didn't. I ran out of the bathroom and put it on a radiator (middle of winter) so the water evaporated or something.Well I forgot about it and when I came back the ipod was burning to the touch. I couldn't give up, this thing had to work so I open my window and placed it in between the window and the wall so it would cool down. It never turned on again.
So I decide to suck it up and admit my mistakes to my parents, who weren't happy at all. They literally could not comprehend my stupidity and accused me of trading my working ipod with a non working one + money so I could buy drugs. Yeah, at 12 years old. Anyway the whole situation quieted down after a few days, but to this day I still think my parents don't believe my story.
TL;DR: | cleaned ipod screen by placing it under tap water, burning/melting it, then freezing it and finally being accused of buying drugs at 12 YO by my parents. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18 M] girlfriend [18 F] of 8 months cheated on me, I broke up but still have feelings for her. Don't know what to do.
POST: I am an exchange student in the U.S and shortly after I arrived here I got into a relationship with my girlfriend. Since she lives about 30 minutes away I've only seen her in the weekends. So everything was going great untill a couple of weeks ago when she told me she had feelings for another guy. I told her she should stop talking to him, to keep the feelings from developing more. She said she wouldn't do that.
I am graduating high school in a few days, and after I am done my mom is taking me out of state for two weeks before coming back here. My girlfriend who was supposed to go to my home country with me after I came back and she graduate, (she has even bought a plane ticket) told me she is not ready to commit and only be with me for the rest of her life. So she asked me if she could basically do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted until I came back from out of state.
I told her that it would hurt me a lot if she choose to cheat on me (Am I being selfish?) and that she should not do it. Since that's what I said and she didn't object further I assumed everything was alright. Then a couple of days ago I found out she had cheated on me, by making out with the guy she has feelings for on several occasions. However she said she was really sorry and we agreed on staying together. But then today, honest as she is, she told me she was gonna go see this guy and she was really excited. She ended up making out with the guy.
However she said she is sorry and still love me. But as I didn't want to get hurt by her cheating anymore I broke up. And now I feel like crap because I love my girlfriend more than I've ever loved anybody, but I can't take the pain of being hurt by her cheating. I still feel like i want to get back together with her because I love her, and I was expecting her to go to my hoome country with me, but now I really don't know anymore. Please help.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend cheated on me several times, but says she still have feelings for me. I broke up, but want to get back together with her because I love her. Is that the right thing to do? Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend (26F) of five years and I (26M) are breaking up. I'm heartbroken, but even more than that I'm terrified of being alone.
POST: Background: Met a girl senior year college, started dating, things were great, yada yada yada. After graduation, we lived apart for two years while I finished grad school. It was only an hour away so we saw each other as much as we could on weekends.
Fast forward. I finish grad school, get a job where she lives and was already working, and we finally move in together. Things start off well, but it was never really the same spark as when we first met. Granted I didn't think it would be immediate sexy times 3x a day, but it never seemed like we were really dating again. It was more like we were friends/roommates than bf/gf. We both chalked it up to getting to know each other again and getting used to living out of our parents house.
Thing is, it never got better. We had fun, and we were never (and still aren't) on bad terms, but she is the type that wanted to travel and live in other places and get a new job somewhere and start fresh. I wasn't willing to do that, and it's eventually what lead to our split on Monday night.
Long story short, my current situation leaves me alone in an apartment with a one-year lease beginning June 1st, in a city I'm not 100% familiar with, no family, and really no friends, since my two best friends had to move for work. I've never lived alone, I'm terrified of it. Sure, I know how to grocery shop and pay bills and that stuff. What I don't know is how to cope with the crushing feeling that I am terribly and completely alone. For two days I've done nothing but lie in bed, I haven't eaten because it makes me sick, and I've cried harder than I have since I was a kid. At this point I don't know which way to turn.
TL;DR: | girlfriend of 5 years is leaving. Stuck in unfamiliar city with no friends and family, and no idea how to cope with complete lonliness. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend (f18) consistently befriends and then "takes away" my (f18) friends.
POST: One of my friends (which I honestly just consider a friends because we're around each other so much, I don't particularly like her, and I never have) always comes into contact with my other friends through me. After I introduce them, over time, she spends more and more time with them until ultimately, no matter how much I try, they end up being closer friends and I'm just on the side. Am I doing something wrong or over-thinking it all? It has happened twice, once at home (friend of over two years, we're hardly friends at all anymore) and once up at college (friend of a few months). Is there anything I should do to prevent this from happening or to salvage my old relationships?
I've tried to prevent it before it occurs, but every time I call friends to make plans she's already with them. It's like she spends time with them nonstop until there just isn't any time left for me.
TL;DR: | One of my friends keeps stealing my friends away from me whenever I introduce them and I feel left out all the time, as much as I try to stay friends with them. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[19F] with my boyfriend [24M] 4 months, My bf isn't as funny as he thinks he is. Is there anything I should do or say about this?
POST: Recently my boyfriend has somehow decided that he really really wants to be the 'funny guy.' Now, don't get me wrong, he can be kind of funny - more often than average he gets a pretty good joke in. However, he really isn't close to being as funny as he *thinks* he is and people tend to laugh uncomfortably and awkwardly at most of his attempted jokes. I still really like my bf, its just that I'm not sure why he's choosing to fixate on this aspect of his personality and its frustrating for me because I primarily enjoy other aspects of his personality but lately he has been really focused on just trying to make me laugh. How I should I address, if at all, without hurting his feelings? Its not that big of a deal; its just a little bit frustrating and uncomfortable for me. But then I also feel like he should be free to explore and experiment with his personality if he wants to - I don't want him changing how he behaves if it makes him happy.
TL;DR: | My bf isn't as funny as he thinks he is, not sure if this is a problem or if I should do anything about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19m] got my first real date[18f] in 2 years with a sitcom technique.
POST: I have been relationshipless for the past two years, since high school, for no real reason other than a lack of new people in my life. Yesterday, I went to taco bell for lunch, and noticed that my cashier was pretty cute. We flirted a little as she took my order, and then I sat down, lamenting the fact that there would be no reasonable way to advance without being a douche. (She's at work. unless she writes her number on my receipt, this is over)
That was, until she came out to take her break, alone, in a back booth. I don't suffer social anxiety, and years of customer service, theater, and navigating my world alone have blessed me with a confidence that most people don't have. (My biggest restraint is the thought of coming of douchey)
Anyway, I knew that this was a now or never moment, so, feeling like I was in a romcom, I walked over and asked to sir by her. Fifteen minutes later, she had gone back to work, and I had gotten her number. Tonight, we had our first date (went swimmingly) and I kissed someone other than my mother for the first time in two long.
Even boners are better when they are inspired by an actual person. I've been walking on air since I left her house. God I miss this feeling. Here's to hoping this less lasts!
TL;DR: | Came for taco bell, left with a number. Proceeded to rock the first date and earn a kiss for my efforts. now I'm endlessly fistpumping. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: F[19] having trouble "fixing" things with two year SO M[20].
POST: We've been happily dating for a little over 2 years now, and recently things have been stressful. dated in high school, and are now dating in college together. Everything was going great, but in the past 3 months (since school started) there hasn't really been any intimacy, or "heart to hearts" about why things are going so ... odd. I understand that dating at a military school is difficult in and of itself, as there can be no PDA, but I seem to be putting more effort into the relationship emotionally than he is, although this claim gets denied when brought up. It also doesnt help that he's still stuck in the "I like you a lot" phase, and we cant seem to move past that. I absolutely love him, but it seems that we cant get on the same page at the same time. Most of our classes are together as well, and we're getting the same degree, yet he wont talk about where he wants to go next or what he wants to do with me. Do I put myself out there? Do I let it lie? I understand that the "college years" are supposed to be fun, but with both of us in military school and going on to ROTC programs, I don't understand why we wouldn't try to work things out. Is it something I might be doing that is putting him off? Or is there anything I can do to help fix all this?
TL;DR: | SO (M-20) has commitment issues, can't say "i love you" and does not want to talk about the future. 2yr. relationship. How can I fix the awkward distances and keep the spark alive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [f/22] My boyfriend [m/25] has a tattoo of his ex's initials on his upper thigh that I happen to see last night. Been dating for a year and a half.
POST: So, me and my bf are sitting in bed last night when I noticed something on his upper thigh. I said "What is that?" And he freaks out and try's to pull his shorts down and says it's nothing. It turns out it is his ex's initials [XXX] across his thigh, probably 3 inches wide. Not only can I not believe that I never noticed it before but I can not believe he didn't tell me. Am I being dramatic and was it okay for him to hide it from me because he knew I'd freak out?? Or should this lead me to believe there are probably other things being kept from me?
Backstory: We have been dating for a year and a half and moved in together in January. Known each other for 10+ years but we were always dating other people. And he was previously engaged to his ex. He confessed his love to me Dec.2013 and we left our SO's.
Plot twist: My best friend of 15 years (since we were 7 years old) is his sister.
TL;DR: | Saw my bfs tattoo of his ex's initials he hid from me for a year and a half. Now freaking out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My boyfriend [21/m] and I [21/f] just started dating (long distance), am I being too clingy or too nice?
POST: Okay, I know it seems weird to ask if I'm being too clingy being that it's long distance. I'm about to move closer to him (coincidence that we happened to get together right around the time I was making plans to move. It was unintentional). Right now we see each other once or twice a week usually on the weekends. I miss him terribly when we are not together. We've only been dating for a few weeks but we sent each other emails for almost a year. Every time I see him in person I get more connected to him and it makes me even more sad when he leaves. He is so kind to me and treats me as his equal. He dotes on me and romances me in a way I've never experienced. He never pressures me to do anything I'm not ready for. I feel so safe and like a better person with him. But, it's my first real relationship and I'm trying to make sure I don't screw things up by being weird. So to continue, I'm very sweet and nurturing to him. Because that is how he is towards me. He really tries to take care of me and so I want to do the same for him. I email him things that make me think of him and I'm making a package to send him right now of songs that make me think of him and his favorite candy that he likes. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I take him down a notch. He needs it. Sometimes he gets a little arrogant and I politely put him in his place. But I don't want to turn into a 100% ego boost for him. I want to always be there to tell him the truth. But I just really care for him so deeply already and I want to assist him in being better, as he assists me. Is this okay?
TL;DR: | is it weird that I'm sending my boyfriend a package and that I contact him regularly when things remind me of him? And that I compliment him often to make him feel good? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (43 M) with downs syndrome making me (17 F) really uncomfortable, wont leave me alone.
POST: um, im new to reddit, no idea what im doing. told i should try posting here?
So ive started volunteering at a place where people with downs syndrome and other disabilities can come to chill.
Ive only been there one day and this guy has started following me. I wanted to make a good impression so i was way more talkative than normal (for me) but then he followed me for my entire day and shouted over the top of the tour i was being given.
I understand it might be difficult for him to pick up soical cues so i tried to be more overt but it didn't work. He kept touching and elbowing me when i was talking to other people and shouting over them, he put his arm around me and kept explaining how i could get to his house and asking where i lived.
A girl told me he is really weird and to ignore him and that he was hitting on me and does this to her so she told him to fuck off. I'm not sure if im over reacting and hes just being nice, theirs no way i can tell him 'fuck off'.
When he found me in the kitchen she told him i was 17 and since hes 42 he should leave me alone but he didn't seem to get it. I cant be rude since I'm expected to be supper understanding since im volunteering at a place for people with learning disabilities.
sorry about the length, any tips?
TL;DR: | 43 year old downs guy making it hard to do my volunteer work and touching me wayyy more than im comfortable with. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[18F] with my boyfriend [18M] of 10 months. Is it out of line for me to be getting jealous of his friendships with girls?
POST: So my boyfriend (M18) and I (F18) have been dating for almost a year now. He has always had a lot of friends who are girls and sometimes that makes me extremely uncomfortable. It doesn't help that he's had a crush on a few of them before he met me. I also don't know most of them well at all.
When he talks to them, he'll often say something like, "hey beautiful" and always gives them long hugs. On nights that he's not with me, he'll be on facebook talking to them for hours. Or a girl will post something on his Facebook page that will get me upset.
Like tonight, a girl posted a picture of herself wearing one of his shirts, with the caption, "I love you, husband!" When I saw it my face got all hot and I got overwhelmingly sad/angry. Wtf? is this normal? Should I be ok with this??
I've told him how jealous I sometimes feel and he's very understanding and tries to understand where I'm coming from. I don't know if I am out of line, but sometimes I just get extremely bothered by his behavior.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has a lot of friends who are girls, and the way they interact with each other sometimes makes me uncomfortable/sad/angry. Am I wrong to be feeling this way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [20/f] lost a fairly expensive necklace from my SO[23/M], I hate the way he's treating me over it.
POST: I hate expensive things, I rarely wear jewelry and I lose things all the time (currently waiting for a new bank card....) so I made it pretty clear I never want anything expensive.
He bought me a ~£200 necklace a few years ago, which to me is an absolutely disgusting amount of money on a necklace! All mine are <£10 and I wear one maybe like 3 times a year.
I wore it kinda on and off for a few years, then just stopped wearing it recently. I found it again wrapped around a cheap bracelet, and don't remember what happened after that.
Basically, I lost it. He's being extremely mean and horrible to me, and when I said that "You shouldn't have bought it because you know I'm so crap at keeping things!" He absolutely hit the roof and just kept saying that I don't appreciate it/I shouldn't lose things etc etc.
I told him pretty much straight after he bought it that it's too expensive and I don't appreciate it and I will probably lose it.
Basically I'm just really upset he's being such an arse and I don't know what to do to rectify the situation?!
TL;DR: | Lost an expensive necklace, SO is being so so horrible to me over it and I just don't know how to make it better (99% sure it's gone forever) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 F] went on a first date [24 M] and had to pay for my own drink.
POST: Hi! First time poster and new to Reddit.
I am new to the dating scene and wanted to get thoughts on first dates. I recently met a guy online and decided to meet up in person. I gave him my number and texted for a couple days. He suggested we meet for drinks at a bar. He lives approximately 35-40 mins away and he was driving to meet me around my area.
He arrived first and got a table for us. I arrive 5 mins late due to lack of parking. He ordered himself a beer before I got there and the waitress was bringing it just as I was sitting down. I ordered a Jack and ginger ale with two limes, not a huge beer fan. We didn't order any food even though it was dinner time. He decline when the waitness kept checking up on us. We talked for about 2 hours and had decent conversations about jobs, travel, music etc. It was going well, however there was a lack of spark.
Anyways, at the end of the date the waitness comes to see how we are doing. The guy asks for the check. The waitress asks if it's together or separate. The guy responds saying its separate. I don't usually go on dates, but is this normal? Is this an indication that he just wasn't interested as well?
Note: I only sipped on my one drink and he had two beers.
TL;DR: | Went on first date with a guy I met online. Talked for 2 hours and I paid for my own drink at the end. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (24)F Been with my (22)bf of 1yr and I don't know what to do.
POST: My bf, lets call him Adam, and I are complete opposites. He is an extrovert and I am an introvert. I love Adam with all my heart but I don't really know what to do anymore. We celebrated our 1 yr anniversary not too long ago and it ended with us not doing anything and getting into an argument. From what I've noticed, every argument we do get into, it seems I'm always the one to be at fault. And maybe it is my fault but I really don't know what I'm doing wrong? I do the best I can to make Adam happy and it just seems like he's not happy with me anymore. I think about all the things Adam has said and I try to "improve" myself and how i handle things. When we get upset, it doesn't help that I like to discuss them and move past it while he likes his space and needs time alone. Our personalities conflict, and although I know many of you will say we need to break up, I would like suggestions on how to improve or settle this in my relationship. This has always been a discussion we've brought up but any advice would truly help. How can we meet in the middle, especially with how we argue? What middle ground is there?
TL;DR: | Been with my bf of a yr and it seems I'm at a constant blame for every argument. We handle things differently. How can we meet in the middle, especially with how we argue? What middle ground is there? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27F] with my bf [32M] 9 months, living together. I think he may be cheating on me, what should I do?
POST: Long story short: I found two movie tickets in his wallet from few weeks ago (when we were on a brief break and he's out of the city to visit relatives.) It was the day before he came back and wanted to get back together.
I have been keeping my mouth shut as I don't have any solid evidence.
There are a few possibilities:
- He watched with a guy friend or family. [Unlikely, why didn't he tell me?]
- He watched with a female friend and knows if he tells me I would be really upset. [But he did it anyway.]
- He was planning on cheating on me but realized that I'm better, hence the what-looked-really-sincere apology the next day to get back together.
- He cheated on me or actually has another girlfriend over there.
What should I do? I'm conflicted between just sitting him down and ask him to talk to me with no bullshit, no games; or collect as much evidence as I can and know what's up before I talk to him. I don't have his phone password by the way, he changed it after he caught me snooping couple months ago. I didn't find anything then, I was nervous and there was not enough time.
I should mention, we live together right now. it's my apartment, i'm the only one on the lease.
TL;DR: | Found two movie tickets in boyfriend's wallet (not ours, we haven't seen the movie.) Suspect him cheating or was going to cheat. What should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: taking a break, good in this situation?
POST: My boyfriend (20M) and I (20F) decided as of two days ago to take a break. We have been dating for just shy of three years, and things were fine I thought. We had been slipping into the "comfortable" stage, and had had a few talks about trying to make more of an effort to keep up the physical end of the relationship, but other than that things were good.
The issue that lead to the break started because we didn't see each other for a longer period of time than usual. We go to different colleges, but they are pretty close, so we see each other every weekend. He's been really busy at the end of this year though, so we didn't visit each other the last three weekends, so he could focus on his work. Then five days ago, he tells me he's grown seriously doubtful about our relationship. He says he started getting concerned when he realized that he was enjoying our time apart, and was not missing me very much. We had a lot of talks from there, and things only got worse. Ultimately, we wound up on a break.
I feel like when he gets through the end of the year stress, he'll feel a lot better, and will be more emotionally available to be in this relationship. Our foundation is very strong, and I have a hard time believing that it's really just gone over the course of a few weeks. On the other hand, he seems so sure about his doubts (if that makes any sense), that I am really concerned about the situation. Our break is definitely not just because he's afraid to end it now. Neither one of us thinks we should just break up at this point. But now I'm stuck being a park of this break, and it's killing me. I try to stay hopeful and give him his space to clear his mind, but at the same time, the possibility that it could actually just end makes it really hard.
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has experience with being on a break that worked out? Does this seem like the kind of situation where a break could actually help?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 3 years asked for a break after enjoying spending three weeks apart while he was busy with school. Can this break help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17M] ex-GF [17F] fucked another guy. Chaos ensued. Help. Please.
POST: I'll try to keep this as short as I can, I'm still in complete shock.
We both come from an Asian/Christian family, and it's been a bit tough. We have a LDR (long distance) and we've both gotten through a lot of thick and thin.
Long story short, recently she wanted a break, and that led to a heart destroying break up. A few days later, and many, many fights later, I find out from her 2 friends that she fucked another guy. This destroyed me. I threw up, I needed to take more than 5 presses from an inhaler, I just couldn't accept it.
They told me she had planned this, wanting the break to go hook up with the guy, then wanting to get back together with me.
I was... appalled. This guy had a girlfriend too. And I just couldn't understand. I really did love her, and still do.
After a long argument (my mom had already scheduled a flight for her to come here during the summer for about 2 weeks), we had one FINAL conversation on the phone. At this point (call me an idiot, I know already all my friends told me... well... some of them), I felt desperate to want her back. We had invested so much into the relationship and I don't know what to do.
After the call, she had agreed to come during the summer. She told me she regretted what happened but... I don't know whether or not to buy it, she HAS been lying to me..
I just want to hear anything, everything on your guys' and gals' opinion on this. I'm desperate for an unbiased opinion.
Not to brag at all; we were considered the "perfect couple" until this happened...
I don't know what to do.
Please help.
(Had a couple beers, will edit for clarity if too drunk to post.)
TL;DR: | The ex fucked another guy, is still willing to reconcile with me. I might be a fucking idiot but...read above for context as I need help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not exactly in a relationship, but it sure feels like one. Want to take it to that level, what to do?
POST: We are both 20, I male, her female. She lives about an hour away from me, but in the fall we will be going back to college where we will be living 2 minutes from each other. We met this summer, not at school.
We have been talking, mostly through texts and fb for the past few months and things are great, we definitely click. We've only hung out a few times but have already slept together and we were definitely compatible at that level too.
The thing is that she doesn't want a relationship because she just ended a 2 year one with a guy that cheated on her in april. She already did her single thing and hooked up with 2 people since him and before me. She tells me how much she likes me and what not, then turns around and tells me she doesn't want to lead me on because she doesn't want a boyfriend for at least til january.
I rarely am the first to text or engage her, but she continues to talk to me everyday, which I don't mind at all but it makes it feel like we are in a relationship. Last time I hung out with her I didn't even make any sexual moves, I let her do it all.
What do I do in this situation? She is a girl, and girls change their minds more often than they change their clothes. I'm thinking if I just continue what I am doing, and just have this carefree fling, it will eventually turn into a relationship. Or am I being stupid? What can I do in order to turn this into a relationship?
TL;DR: | talking to girl that doesn't want a relationship for a while, but likes me very much. Do I stick around and maybe she'll change her mind or cut my losses? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I hit my partner last night
POST: Me: Mid 20s, male
Him: Early 30s, male
Relationship: Known each other for 2 years, relationship for 5mo until we decided we were better off as intimate friends, have been living together and supporting each other for a year and a few months.
I live with my best friend, who is also my ex, a cuddle/occasional fuck buddy, partner. Last night we were having an argument (about something that now seems hopelessly trivial), and I was in the middle of sorting laundry, and he comes over and starts throwing clean clothes all over the room and yelling at me about this and that, and I was trying to make my point, and I got so frustrated and overwhelmed that I hit him. I guess I meant for it to be nowhere near as forceful as it was - I was just trying to get his attention so he'd stop throwing shit all around the room and talk to me instead. As it turns out, it was a really hard slap on his side, my handprint showed up immediately on him, and I stood there in the doorway to the bedroom stunned by what I'd done and starting to cry while he screamed at me to get out.
I'm so scared and I don't know how to process what I did and what it means for us respectively and collectively. He is extremely important to me, and I don't know what I would do or who I would be if I lost my relationship with him.
I'm also really scared of being kicked to the curb - sounds like he wants me out of the house as soon as friday. I'll be living in my car if I don't decide to let this be the final straw and just go jump off a bridge.
What do I do moving forward? Is it possible to apologize? How does one manage the loss of the only relationship they actually find beneficial or meaningful (I have no real friends)? Am I alone in this?
TL;DR: | I hit my partner in the middle of a heated argument, now he's thinking of throwing me out of his life and I'm terrified of losing him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Had sex for the first time 3 months ago. Now all of the sudden I'm freaking out about having HIV.
POST: I'm 25, decent health and really feel pretty foolish for even taking anyone's time here.
Basically, I was dating a girl for about a month, we had sex for the first time 3 months ago and then I broke it off within the next few days just due to us wanting different things, we used a condom for the first ~10 mins and then no condom for the next 10, with her prompting me to take it off. Obviously a stupid mistake, but I was in the moment.
She had said she had 3 different partners before me, 2 long term relationships and a one night stand.
I have experienced ZERO STD symptoms, but I got a cold recently and now I'm freaking out that I have HIV. Money is a bit of an issue right now and the cheapest testing I can find is around $200. So, my question is, should I be worried about this?
TL;DR: | Dated girl for month, had unprotected sex, been 3 months, no STD symptoms, but I can't stop freaking out about having HIV. Money is tight and testing is expensive, should I even be worrying about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17F] with my friend [18M] that I've known for a year, he sent me nude photos and now I'm confused
POST: I've known this guy for about a year (we met at our casual job), and he's really cool. He can be a little out there sometimes, but he makes me laugh and I think it's adorable how obvious it is sometimes that he wants my attention. Lately, I've kind of had a thing for him, and I'm not sure how he's feeling about me. He added me on snapchat a few weeks ago, and we've been talking since.
Last night, he snapchatted me, which was nothing out of the ordinary, but he randomly just said "nudes?" in a snap and I replied with "are you asking me for nudes?" and then he replied "maybe". After some time talking about why I would never send nudes (personal reasons) we continued the conversation and then he randomly sent me a partial dick pic...I replied with a subject changer, but then he sent another partial nude. I basically told him to cool it and he said "sorry" but I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm not sure if he likes me or just wants to see me naked or what...I get that he's a teenage boy but I really don't know because I don't have tons of experience with guys...
TL;DR: | Casual coworker friend of mine brought partial nudes into our snapchat conversation. I'm super inexperienced and don't know what to do/what this means. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear reddit, how the hell do you get ahead in life?
POST: Disclaimer: I don't intend for this to come off as overly whiny, just legitimately looking for advice.
I'm 23 years old and have yet to figure out what I'm doing. My parents constantly treated me like some golden child who would be a millionaire by 25 just because I performed *slightly* above average in school, whereas all my siblings were slackers and dropouts.
I moved across the country several years ago in hopes of being a career musician, whether that's hit songs and international tours or just making enough in bars and clubs to pay the bills and survive. I play five instruments, sing decently enough, and am a songwriter and classical composer. I'm smart enough to know and accept, however, that being a career musician is probably one of the hardest jobs you can get.
So my backup plan was school. Success! I've got a Bachelor's now, and have been relentlessly working on my music career the whole time. Playing in bands, going to writer's nights, completing two music biz internships, schmoozing anyone and everyone I meet (including a few real 'movers and shakers' in the industry).
In the meantime, I've also been applying for "regular" jobs like crazy. I've gone door-to-door, called everyone I know, and hit up internet job boards. I've probably sent out 100 resumes over the last few months, and have only gotten two interviews. Obviously neither worked out in my favor. The jobs I've applied for have been anywhere from part-time minimum wage retail and fast food joints to salaried, white-collar jobs paying $50k or more with benefits and company cars.
I'm not getting anywhere, and bills are piling up. I know it's tough for everyone these days, but I don't feel I have any options left. I'm educated, reliable, and work my ass off at whatever comes my way, but nobody seems to care.
TL;DR: | I've got a degree with a good skillset and drive, but nobody anywhere, *ever* wants to hire me. Halp. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my GF [18F] of 5 years, Its almost impossible to give constructive criticism without waterworks or putting off
POST: Hey everyone,
this is my first time on reddit and had a question. But I'd like to enlighten you on the situation.
Me and Gf have been together since my freshman year of highschool till now (5 years). Both our parents are pretty strict and she wasn't able to actually date until her 16th birthday (since 2 years ago), this established a long term relationship from the get-go and needless to say we have communicated a lot with some intimate physical contact.
My dilemma is that whenever I try to bring up something I think isn't working and want to improve on, she takes it as a personal blow I feel she doesn't see from my point of view. From this I've noticed a lot of double standards in her favor and it makes it even harder because she doesn't like to be called out on it.
Something else that's been bugging me lately is that I'm pretty open to new experiences and people and she makes no effort to try new things including restaurants/food, meeting new people or introducing herself to new people, listening to new music, etc.
I really love her and its fun when we're together but more often than not, these speed bumps arise and I don't know how to handle trying to address it to her without hurting her feelings (forgot to mention, she is quite an emotional person and gets easily upset by anything about our relationship that I want to bring up).
TL;DR: | To sum up, Should we take some time off and do some soulsearching? Break up (not preferred)? Or am I just overthinking this and let it go? Please help |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/F] recently started dating this guy [25 M] who said he's been tested, but part of me doesn't believe him.
POST: I met this guy that I'm very attracted to about two months ago, but we haven't started dating until very recently. We've slept in the same bed for the past week, and right before we started fooling around I asked him if he had been tested, because sexual health is very important to me. He said that he had been tested with his previous girlfriend, but for some reason I don't believe him. We were about to be in the heat of the moment when I asked him, and I can understand that a guy might tell you what you want to hear if you're about to become sexual within the next few minutes. He's also been with a lot more people than I have (17 for him vs. 5 for me) and it makes me concerned that he could have something. I understand that it can take one experience to contract an STD, but I feel like when you have many partners, your chances increase a lot. Especially since he said three of his partners have cheated on him. I want him to get tested before we have intercourse, especially before we have intercourse without a condom, but I don't want it to seem like I don't trust his word. What should I do in this situation?
TL;DR: | guy I started dating said he was tested fairly recently, I don't trust it because he told me right before we were going to fool around. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Is it weird to not have any attraction to women? (I'm not gay either)
POST: I've never really been attracted to women, I know I am relatively young (20), but I never really had an attraction to a women. They are usually just friends and then I get my feelings messed up. Is this odd? I sometimes resent women actually, for a reason I don't know why.
Some info about me, I recently ended a 4 year on-and-off fling, which resulted in a lot of missed opportunities. I also grew up without a true "father" figure (I went to his house once a month, but he never really taught me, was more a free time), instead just with my mom. I saw the intricacies of woman, and perhaps didn't find them too attractive!
TL;DR: | Is it normal to not be attracted to women, am I allowed to be an atypical person, or is it better to have this affection for personal growth? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [help] my father is going to give away my dog for his awful beheavior
POST: So I've owned a Mini Poodle called Homer for 6 years. I bought him from a pet shop (sorry pet shop haters). He didn't beheave well but at least he didn't pee inside the house (I live with my parents in a pretty big house) so my parents weren't that mad with it.
But a year and a half ago, I moved homes to another house and since then things went from bad to worse.
He started peeing inside the house, started barking at literally everything that moved outside (he absolutely hates wheels). And bark while we eat. One day, we opened the door to receive some guests and Homer ran through the door to chase some truck that was on the road. When he approached the truck, he got under the wheel which made him break his hip. He was in pain for about a month and after 6 months he was the same Homer as before. He started peeing inside and barking all the time.
My father got fed up with him and told me that he was going to give it away to another family unless he beheaves well. He gave me a 6 weeks to train it so he stops barking. /r/Dogs , I need your help. What can I do to make my dog stop barking and peeing inside the house?
TL;DR: | My 6 year old mini poodle pees inside the house and barks all the time. My father told me to educate it or else he will give it away to another family. He gave me 6 weeks. I need your help |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So naturally I did the most responsible adult thing I could think of. . .
POST: I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't say I've been a HEAVY smoker, but I've been smoking regularly (weed and butts) since I was 18. It started only while I was drinking and then progressed more and more as I started getting invited to more and more parties.
Admittedly it was way easier taking breaks from smoking while I was younger because I'd take a nice 3 - 4 month break, and coincidentally anytime I went to a party there'd be that one person that would say the most dreaded thing I would remember the next day:
*"Hey man, do you wanna go with me to the store and get some butts?"*
I don't know about the rest of you, but when I drink enough it's nearly impossible for me to say to butts, cigars, pipe tobacco, sheesha you name it. There were also plenty of times I just woke up in complete random places so confused where I am, with 2 fresh packs of Lucky Stikes.
Lately now though my breathing has been incredibly weezy and sadly I no longer have health insurance to actually get it checked out.
So today when I got home my mother looked me square in the eyes and said, "Son, I'd really appreciate it if you would quit smoking."
So I look at her and I says:
"It's ok mom, I'm going to buy Diablo III now"
TL;DR: | I decided I'm going to quit smoking buy replacing the habbit with Diablo III. Honestly I hate smoking if I'm not outdoors. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (m19) and my gf (f19) communicate in completely different ways and it makes us both mad. What do I do? (Plus a poem inside!)
POST: My girlfriend and I, we are great!
But we've been fighting as of late.
She went to bed mad
And I went to bed sad.
And we both want to wipe clean the slate.
I know. I'm a poet.
***
She fixes problems by ignoring them. "It happened, its done, let's move forward and forget it." I fix problems by "its over. Let's talk about it to insure this doesn't happen again."
She hates confrontation (Insert passive aggressive family life) and I want to discuss/fix things so we are on the same page (insert confrontational screaming family). It's easier for me to ignore things than for her to talk about them but this has been going on for 5 months and I can see it becoming an issue.
What would you do? WWJD? (Jk) How can I I try and fix this if she doesn't want to talk?
TL;DR: | the female no like confront. Make me sad. I like talk about problem. Make her mad. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend[25M]. I try to do nice things or say nice things, but it seems he always ask for it or hint that he would like it JUST before I do it, which undercuts the fact that I'm doing it to show love.
POST: My "love language" (I know, it's smarmy) is doing nice things for people, like sending them packages of cookies. My boyfriend and I are long-distance. He called me today and asked me what I was doing, and I said I was making cookies (didn't tell them they were for him) and he jokingly said I should send him some. Which I was going to do anyway. Except that now he won't KNOW that I was going to do it before he suggested it, and think that it was his idea. This happens with other things, too. Like he likes to hear it when I say I love you, but he'll ask me to say it and then it's like I'm saying it just because he asked, even though I was going to anyway. He's not demanding it or being greedy, he's just suggesting it in a joking manner and then it's not as special because it looks like it wasn't my idea, even though it was.
My mother is the same way and it drove me nuts growing up. Like I would be just about to offer to do the dishes, and she would ask me to do the dishes. Which no longer makes it an act of loving service, now it's just something she asked me to do.
This is really important to me because it's how I show that I care about people, and I feel like it always gets undermined.
Am I being unreasonable? Or is there some way that I could communicate to boyfriend (I'm guessing mom is a bit too set in her ways) that I would like him to stop anticipating the things that I am going to do for him, which would basically mean he'd have to stop asking for things?
TL;DR: | I like doing nice things to show that I care, not because people ask, but then they keep asking! They're ruining the damn surprise! |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: [Discussion] Finding motivation/setting new goals during major life changes, need advice
POST: After a few difficult years, I'm about to achieve a few major goals and reach a new level of stability. I'm having trouble handling it. To this point, pride, fear or desperation were the number one motivators for me and now that the tiniest thing won't throw me into disarray, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.
I've been stalling on my side projects, I can't read more than a paragraph, can't work out or sleep through the night. I'm doing OK at work because the fear of getting fired and having to start at square one again is still there, but I want to do more at the office too. I haven't really hung out or gone out in months and I blame work but its BS. Medically, I'm perfectly healthy but I feel sluggish and "off".
Basically, I need to find positive, constructive internal and external motivators for the first time. I'm so used to being in panic mode that I can't come up with anything and I'm completely out of whack. Any feedback would be great.
TL;DR: | after years of negative motivators, need to find positive reinforcement and new goals, since life is no longer a shit show. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (29F) with work colleagues (20sF). I keep getting asked to "donate" to going away lunches at work. How to handle?
POST: This is not a romantic relationship question but how to handle a situation with my coworkers. My office is fairly large, so at least once a month, sometimes more often, there is some kind of turnover. Someone is being promoted to a different location, someone is quitting, etc.
There is a group of admin people who have taken it upon themselves to throw a "goodbye" lunch every time someone announces they're leaving. (The highest turnover tends to be among the admin group, so it's usually someone in that group hosting it for someone else in that group).
Every time this happens, an email goes out asking for a "donation" of $10 to $15. If I ignore the emails, they come and knock on my office to ask for the money. If I "don't have any cash on me" they keep coming back until I pay up. Sometimes, the people who are leaving are people I've met only once or twice in passing.
I guess I can afford to contribute but I just have no interest in doing so. But, at the same time, the people who are hosting are lower-salaried than I am (our salaries are pretty transparent in my organization) so I get the sense they would think I'm being a cheapskate by not contributing. One of them complained to me before about how my boss (who is the Big Boss, who has a high salary) only contributes the $10-$15 that everyone else does. So I know they see these "donations" as a reflection of something, I don't know what exactly.
Since I have to work with these people, I don't want them to hate me. But I also kind of resent that they are basically asking the rest of the office to subsidize a party for their friends.
Do I just keep "donating" to keep the peace? Or is there a tactful way around this?
TL;DR: | Office mates keep asking me for "donations" for going away lunches. I don't want to "donate." |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[22M] am currently seeing a[20F] on a few dates so far, not sure if I am smothering or not.
POST: So we met at a party, and took about a month or so to actually get back together, which is cool. Went on a few dates and had a good time as well as her saying she would like to see me again. She is currently going to school an hour or so away and only comes back to town on weekends.
Anyways...I try and keep text conversations going just to keep in touch throughout the week, but there are times when it may be a couple days until I hear from her which leads me to go into over-thinking mode. Mainly is it common for girls to put space between them and their guys they are talking to just to see if they'll make a first move or something? Or am I just missing hints that she really isn't into me.
TL;DR: | not sure if the days in between communicating is supposed to be a hint or if it is just something girls my age do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[22F] unintentionally found some racially charged porn on my boyfriend's [25F] browser which made me uncomfortable
POST: I have been with my boyfriend for two months now and we both attend the same school. We have what I consider to be a pretty strong relationship (open and honest, regular sex life, good boundaries), we enjoy the same activities and share interests (debate, politics, art, music) and are both black.
I had no cause for concern until recently when, upon opening google chrome on his laptop to check something out (with his permission, he was in the room) and typing in the url bar I saw that his recent sites included porn pages specifically geared towards black men "dominating" white women, seemingly younger (teen), in a really vulgar and denigrating manner. I didn't really have time (or interest) to investigate and I proceeded to look up what I needed to without fuss.
This was a week ago and I still haven't confronted him about it. I think it's unfair to him that I stumbled across this stuff and I didn't mean to invade his privacy/judge him for his sexual proclivities but this kind of racial fetishism really freaks me out and I can't help but to think less of him/feel extremely insecure as a black woman for it.
What should I do? Am I wrong for feeling this way?
TL;DR: | black girl finds racially charged black man/white woman porn on boyfriends computer and feels sick about it/not sure how to move forward |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with GF [22F] 4+ years, looking to get some advice from married couples.
POST: This is going to be a short and sweet question. Basically my situation is this. I've been with this girl for about 4.5 years now (starting shortly after high-school) and we are both going to be graduating college this spring. She isn't sure exactly what her career/life plan looks like after that, but she does have an end goal, just isn't sure how to get there. I on the other hand am already sitting on 4 or 5 job offers that will pay really well and not require me to move.
For awhile we've both known that the unspoken plan was to get married barring something happening between us, and the other day we explicitly talked about it a little bit. And there is a very real possibility I'll be asking her to marry me this summer.
I'd just love to hear from some of you married folk out there, what are things I should be thinking about to make sure this is a smart decision. Does something about the brief background I gave give you cause for worry and why?
TL;DR: | Life is all falling together quite nicely it would seem and I'm looking for a little bit of advice from internet strangers because I don't want to study tonight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Im (21/M) in love (?) with my best friend and she (19/F) says she loves me?
POST: So its kind of a long story but the short version is I have known her for 8 (almost 9) years and when we first met there was a thing there but we both just ignored it and stayed friends. Years have gone by an we are best friends now.
She just got out of a relationship of 2 years and she was staying at my place and we ended up kissing and doing other stuff (about 4 months ago). I ended up asking her out about a month ago and she said no because her last relationship ended because "She has her own issues she needs to sort out by herself". Plus she is going to Europe for her 20th birthday and she wants to go to Europe single. But she said that when she sorts her stuff out and comes back from Europe that we are basically good to go (that sounds so bad...).
I want to reinforce that we are not together, despite my trying, we are just best friends with, on my end at the very least, feelings.
She is sleeping with other guys and then not gloating about it but not exactly being ashamed of it or anything like that and its making me depressed or something. Its not like she is just going around riding every guy or anything but... idk... am I just expecting too much?
I love her like family, she has always been family. My mother sees her as part of the family etc etc. But I also love her as if she isnt part of the family... that sounded really fkin creepy.... O.o Lets pretend you guys understand what I am saying...
TL;DR: | Had sex with best friend. Loves best friend. Best friend doesnt want to date me (yet?). Best friend keeps seeing other guys. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I never realized how crippling credit card debt can be until I no longer had any.
POST: I have basically carried some sort of unsecured debt since I graduated high school.
Last year I finally paid off all of my debt and started building savings. Then I quit my job for a year and lived on savings. Recently I got a job, while still having savings left. The new job I got was a bit of a raise from my previous, around 10%, but now I have so much money every month that I don't even know what to do with it.
I never realized how much money was just disappearing every month and going straight to credit cards.
The difference is shocking. and my spending habits aren't even that different. I was basically responsible but just carrying the anchor of dept from when I wasn't responsible in my youth. I guess you just get used to it.
Now I am like AWWWWWWEEEEEE YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH :)
TL;DR: | Credit card debt will fuck your shit up worse than you might realize. The difference can be night and day. Pay that shit off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Getting divorced. 28M, married to 27F, been together 7 years (married 1.5 years), no sex, both virgins.
POST: So, I totally and utterly broke down. There were a lot of issues between me and my wife that existed when we were engaged (she had minimum wage jobs after 6 years of university... she pursued a 'career' in opera (grant it I told her it made no sense logically). I'm an engineer with a good career.
We got married, didn't have sex before marriage (I should have seen the sign that she never got horny), and due to a somewhat medical thing, she can't have sex. I break down (that and other stress things, such as personal injury, house hunting), and we eventually push each other away.
Anywho, we are (for the right reasons) getting a divorce, but she feels ever so entitled to half our money (I had 70k before marriage, she had 5k), we were married 15 months, and now she's going to get 60k in cash, and feels totally entitled to it.
It's not so one sided, I broke down and started drinking at home and created an negative environment. She never really tried fixing her medical problem. Am I a bad guy for feeling like I'm getting cheated? Part of what stressed me was that she never understood the money part and how I really was supporting her. At least moving forward, I can afford to live on my own, she'll learn some tough lessons... but frick me. I understand the me drinking created a very negative environment, and I apologized several times. She never seemed sincere in mentioning the no sex thing being a big issue... Am I wrong in being frustrated?
TL;DR: | Why do men lose so much money in a divorce, yet the girl leaves thinking it's all good, she was entitled. And why was no sex not considered a huge issue?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21M] am feeling guilty because my GF [21F] of three years, wants me to take a student loan so we can move out, but i don't want to.
POST: So me and my girlfriend of three years have been looking at apartments for a while now and because im a student i only get about 490 $ per month in income for studying, that is WITHOUT taking a loan.
So yesterday we were checking out an apartment that looked pretty good and we got home and started crunching some numbers to see how much we'll be spending a month. And here is the thing, i've promised in the past just before we started looking at apartments that i would give 50 % of my income to the rent and so on. And here is where i started to panic.
After i've given 50 % of my income, i still have to pay my card to be able to ride the train to my school. After that i have 100$ left for a whole month. I realized that this weren't going to happen if i didn't get a student load and that was the one condition i had since the school i go to is just 30 min away with train.
So when i told this to my GF she was really upset, and i can understand that. I've let her down, i've lead her in on false expectations. I've basically been lying to myself and everyone else because i didn't think that my economy would be so low. I have 2 years left for studying.
Am i in the wrong here? I need some perspectives.
TL;DR: | Me and my GF have been looking for apartments for a while now and when we finally may be able to get one, i chicken out because of my economy since i don't want to take any student loans. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU my butthole
POST: this happened two years ago.
so,i was having a shower and remembered a video in a "site" that was about a guy fingering his butthole so,i said "imma try it out" then i couldn't,too tight,so i didnt have lube,so i saw a shampoo or hair conditioner that said "extraordinary oil"so i said "oil can be used as lube,so i put some in my middle finger,and put it in,"it worked!!" i thought,and that l was followed by tremendous pain,like my butthole was on fucking fire,so i got my finger out but it stil really hurt,so i got on all fours and tried to make the cold water get in there so i'll feel better,it didnt do shit,"it still hurts"i thought,so as i was getting up the faucet FUCKING PENETRATED MY FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! i slowly got it out but the pain was unbelievable,i screamed for 10 minutes while cold water was raining down on me,after that i finished showering with tears in my eyes and then after like 20 mins i had to take a 2 foot long shit.it didnt end well for me :(.my butthole will never l be the same
TL;DR: | put shampoo in my butt,it hurt like fuck,tried to make it better by a faucet in my shitter,i cried on the floor,then shat a log that's two foot four |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/m] been with [23/f] for about 3.5 years I don't feel the same anymore
POST: Hello Reddit,
She and I have had a really stable and long (for my standards) relationships, you could say we were our first couple (in bed) for each one, our relationship has been really good so far, we've shared so many happy moments, we laugh a lot when we're together. But like a year ago my feelingS for her are not as strong as they used to be, I like being with her but I don't enjoy it as much as I used to, I get bored soon when we date, sex is good although I think she enjoys it more than me.
Last week she was feeling sad because we weren't seeing each other often (She traveled for a week, then I traveled for a week and she thought we were going to be together that week and had huge plans), she asked me if I was happy or if I was bored, I told her that sometimes I don't feel like I'm enjoying the relationship, but wasn't brave enough to admit it in a direct way, she asked me to think if I wanted to continue, she says she really loves me (she does, more than I love here, sadly) and will understand whatever decision I make.
I've been thinking in a way of saying it that I won't break her hearth, I wouldn't forgive myself if I do that, I need the time for my personal projects and to define my future, since I'm not happy with my life right now, being alone would help me to think that.
So, dear reddit, how, where and when could I say this to her without breaking her heart?
Forget to add, when we started I was still in the university, I graduated 2 years ago, she's still an student. I suppose we see things in a different way.
TL;DR: | Happy times (for me) are over, I don't wanna break her heart while ending the relationship. I don't want to use the "it's not you, it's me" cliché |
SUBREDDIT: r/books
TITLE: I am looking for books in a foreign language.
POST: Backstory: My mother is an older woman who came from Vietnam 25 years ago. Over the years, she raised my siblings and I while working random jobs to get by. She always enjoyed american entertainment as well as vietnamese. However, she never got around to learning fluent english, so she struggles with american film and books.
About three years ago on a trip to California, she found a vietnamese book store that translated popular books from english to vietnamese. She picked up the first two books in the Harry Potter series as well as the first Twilight book. She fell in love with them. She read them over and over, until she could get her hands on the next books. Eventually, she bought all of the books and read them all, and she still reads them.
This brings me to my point.
She has always expressed interest in The Lord Of The Rings, and I believe she is unaware that they were actually books. I would like to try and find these books in Vietnamese for her, so that she can enjoy them as much as I have.
So my question is, does reddit know where I can purchase The Lord Of The Rings books as well as The Hobbit in Vietnamese?
TL;DR: | Mom likes to read literature in vietnamese. I want to buy her The Lord Of The Rings books and The Hobbit because they're badass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19F] boyfriend [19M] started talking to [19?F] that his family tried setting him up with after we fought
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. It's had its ups and downs, but it's been good. Or so I thought?
On Valentine's Day my boyfriend and I got into an argument via text. He was saying some things that I was uncomfortable with, and I told him so. He became angry and tried to justify his views, and began to say hurtful things. One of the things he mentioned was that his father, father's girlfriend, and his grandmother had tried to set him up with four girls, starting several months prior, and the most current time being around 2 weeks before Valentine's Day.
The argument was never resolved because he stopped replying and started ignoring me. He hasn't talk to me in a month, until last night, when he called "to fix things".
He mentioned that the day after Valentine's Day he began talking to one of the girls, named Laura. His reasons were:
-He needed someone to talk to
-She was an childhood friend (who he hasn't spoke to in years)
-He wanted to see if he actually loved me, or if he was only with me to be with someone.
I don't know how to react. I find this extremely inappropriate. And it bothers me a lot that he's talking to her.
How should I react? Is this emotional cheating? He said that their conversations weren't deep or meaningful, but considering the fact that they've talked for the entire month we weren't talking worries me.
TL;DR: | my boyfriend began talking to a girl his family tried to set him up with after we fought "to see if he actually loved me". |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I opened a door for an old man and got a $100 bill at a restaurant today. So what's your greatest instant karma story?
POST: So I was with my family going to a large Chinese restaurant and I usually hold the door for everyone. After everyone went inside, I was about to enter when I saw an old, Asian elder man walk around the corner, so I did what I usually do an I holded the door for him. He said, "Thank you for holding the door! Not many young people these days open doors for people." After he entered, the next person who comes over this this tall, Asian guy in a purple-ish suit and he said, "Thank you." He looked like he just ran for his life or something, when he entered, he attended to the old man who just entered and escorted him to one of those private rooms.
I just assumed that the tall guy was the old man's bodyguard, relative, son, something or whatever who had a lot of money or something because they were in one of those large, private rooms.
So my family and I ate what our lunch (Dim Sum and stuff like that) and I was the last to leave (using the washroom) and as I walked to the door, the tall man that was escorting the old man from before came up to me and said, "Thank you once again for holding the door. You are a polite young man and I hope that you succeed in whatever you desire."
Then we shake hands (I just followed) and he handed me a red pocket. I was like, "Um, thanks and I will." And then he walked back to the private room. I walked out (since opening a red pocket right when you get it, at the exact same spot is bad luck, impolite or something) and I later opened it. What I find is a crisp $100 bill, all for being polite and holding the door for people. Wow.
TL;DR: | Opened the door for an old man, and his bodyguard/relative gave me $100. Probably the fastest $100 I will ever earn. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [33M] wife [34F] has shut me out (literally) because I wanted some alone time...
POST: I'm currently locked out of the home right now, and not sure what to do but post this. We've been together for twelve years and had only ever had one unrelated argument **ever** (coincidentally, I was also locked out of the house for that one.)
I'm going nuts. I don't have any time to myself at all. During the week I have people in my face all day at work, get home and activities are dominated by her. Then I sleep and repeat. Weekends are honey-do lists and more activities she comes up with.
By her preference my wife stays at home and takes care of things. I work 40-44 hours or so a week. Neither of us have any friends outside of people on the internet. I've tried to make some friends with 'couples' so my wife wouldn't feel left out but she never is interested in repeat visits. She has zero interest in working, social activities, or friends herself. At all.
So obviously the best thing to do is talk to my spouse right? Well I've been bringing it up from time to time that I just need a moment, even an hour to myself to pursue a hobby and she wont have any of it. Finally after some time of this going on I had a chat with her online that got too intense. When I got home I was locked out and she told me to go have time by myself or 'probably with that hussy!'
So pleading through the door did nothing. I told her I would book a counselor if we couldn't talk this through and she said it was my problem and I was being stupid. Also your guess is as good as mine as to who said hussy is because I can't even handle one woman let alone multiple. I go to work, then I come home.
TL;DR: | Wife thinks I loathe her because I would like some time to myself, she thinks seeing a counselor for one thing is 'stupid.' What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I get over a girl who I'd like to be just friends with?
POST: There's this girl at my college and I have pretty strong love feelings for her. We're very compatible with each other and have very similar hobbies and mindset. But she has a boyfriend. She says she loves me a lot but only as a really good friend. We decided that we'd just be best friends since we click so well. She introduced me to her boyfriend and we hung out a lot. I think her boyfriend is a pretty cool dude and decided to not want to intrude on their relationship...but the problem is that I still have strong feelings for her and I get jealous a lot when I see her with him and when they get close. I really want to make our friendship work and hopefully still be friends with her 10 years from now since she's so cool and I wouldn't want to lose her because of my stupid feelings. But it's really hard to enjoy a night out with her, her boyfriend, and my friend as a group since I get really quiet and act cold towards her when I get jealous and I avoid eye contact with her like she did something hurtful to me, when the reality is that she's acting how she's suppose to act around her boyfriend. I want to get over her because I really want to enjoy a night out with her, her boyfriend, and my friend without my stupid feelings getting in the way so that we can all be friends having fun and hanging out. I don't even want her anymore, I just want to hang out and have a good time being friends.
Please help, I just want to be friends with her and not get heartbroken whenever i'm around her and her boyfriend.
TL;DR: | I really want to become best friends with this girl, but my jealousy for her boyfriend makes it really hard to enjoy any time as a group with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/M] with my "friend"[18/F] two months, but there might be an expiration date.
POST: Evening,
I am a college student about to graduate coming up here relatively soon. I have been applying to jobs as far away as across the country to as close as in the town from my school.
I recently met a nice young girl, who I have taken a liking to. She is not graduating, nor graduating any time soon. We try to see each other once or twice a week, but she thinks there is no reason to put a label on it. She also says that there is some what of an exclusive deal with us, but she doesn't feel ready to call it anything. (Whatever that means, I am just rolling with it.)
But I feel like maybe I am not only wasting my time, but hers. She has a lot of college left to experience and I am afraid of getting too invested in something that I cannot get myself to go through with. She has so much time to meet new friends, guys, etc and just experience college the the fullest. I could never take that away from her.
Should I break this off before we get any deeper? I really do like her a lot and I want to see where it goes, but I don't know where I will be in a few months. Even if I was here, is it fair to do that to someone? I don't want someone to feel like they wasted their time in college on me.
I guess what I am really asking for is advice on how to proceed with these next few months. I don't want to remove her entirely from my life, I enjoy our exclusivity, but I am worried about what happens when I put on the cap and gown and walk that stage.. when she won't be.
TL;DR: | Met an awesome girl, I am graduating and she isn't.. not sure whether its fair to invest time and emotion in to it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my fiancé [30 M] of 8.5 years. I am sick of his job and I'm starting to resent him.
POST: His job requires him to be away for up to 24 days at a time, sometimes more. I am getting sick of doing everything at home by myself. I have to take care of our kids, with no help from him. Sometimes he even hangs up on me because the children are being loud in the background. His dog is on medication right now that makes him super hungry and thirsty so he needs to be taken outside way more often and I still have to clean up piss and shit because h just can't hold it. I feel like this is a responsibility that I shouldn't need to have, it's his fucking dog. I don't even like dogs, I have a cat and she's perfect for the amount of work she is. The dog is like having a 3rd child.
I have no car so I have to rely on my family to take me grocery shopping and shit. He bought a fucking standard that I can't drive and he doesn't even use it for work so when he's gone, it's just sitting there. Will he sell it? Nope. Not even because he needs a truck for work, I'm like sell the car, buy a truck. Nope, I'm going to buy a truck so there'll be 2 fucking vehicles you can't drive.
I'm alone all the time, I have no friends and he gets to go to work and smoke weed and drink beer with his work buddies. That especially pisses me off like ok sorry I have to go now, all my buds just got to my hotel room. Oh yeah great I have to go to and actually do shit!! He won't ever quit because of how much money he makes, doing such an easy job. But I can't see myself living like this forever. I think it's a stupid reason to break up because when he's home everything is great. But he's only home maybe 4-7 days a month.
TL;DR: | Tired of being practically single for the majority of the time, but I don't think it's a good reason to break up. Maybe this was just a big rant. I don't really have a question. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Don't enjoy hanging out with some friends... What do I do?
POST: I have 2 groups of friends essentially. For the most part we are all 22. My older friends from way back when in elementary/high school, and my newer friends who I have met in my time after high school. I have become very close with most of the latter group and end up talking to them about all of my issues, and end up sharing very little with my older friends. I just don't feel that trust, or bond there.
The problem is, I don't enjoy hanging out with my older friends. I have nothing against them as people, in fact, I still love them as they are my oldest friends. But something about when we do things just isn't enjoyable. They always expect to hang out on weekends all day every day, and they get disappointed when I split my time.
How do I win this situation reddit? I feel like I can't tell them I don't like hanging out with them as it may hurt their feelings, but honestly, I don't enjoy spending time with them...
TL;DR: | Don't enjoy spending time with friends of 15+ years, but don't want to hurt their feelings by not spending time with them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: I quit my long run this weekend halfway through. I'm training for a marathon and need some advice.
POST: Like I said, this weekend I was supposed to run 14 miles, and I quit. Part of it was mental (13.1 was my previous distance record, and I felt overwhelmed about doing 14), and part was my legs. On long runs as my distance increases, my legs just give out/exhaust themselves even though cardio-wise, I'm completely fine. My legs will be rubber by the end but my heart rate is still around 120bpm (27 yr old female here). I need some advice as to what to add to my training plan in order to beef up my legs for these runs. Just for info, a sample week is
Monday-3mi
Tuesday-4mi
Wednesday-swim 1mi
Thursday-7mi
Friday-rest
Saturday-Long run (14mi this week)
Sunday-rest
I'm already finding the program hard and so I'm not sure if I should add leg strength training in on rest days. One other reason I think my legs might be giving out is because I run slow- ~12minute miles- and so for these long runs, I'm literally running for about 3hours. The marathon I'm training for is the Outer Banks marathon in mid November. Any training advice people can give me is greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | Legs are giving out in long runs/legs feel weak while my cardio endurance is fine. Looking for advice on how to fix this with training/possibly adding weight lifting into my training plan. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[20 M] am in love with a girl[20 F] who is perfect, but we can't be together right now and it's tearing me up inside. How can I get over her? I love her
POST: I am in love with a girl who i used to be so close with. We were together when we were 16 when she told me she loved me first, but after some time she ended the relationship.
It has been 4 years and I still love her but we can not be together, she is the most perfect, sweet and beautiful woman in my eyes and I am even crying as typing this(i never cry ever)
Do not ask why we can't be together, just know I need to get over her. What must I do I am so desperate for help, please :(
TL;DR: | I am in love with my soul mate and we simply can't be together. Please give me advice on how to get over her and forget about her. I have loved her for 4 years and we used to be together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Wedding cake money-saving protip!
POST: My fiance, parents and I just went cake tasting yesterday, and we're on a pretty tight budget. We're having a wedding with 200 guests.
We went to three different places, and the last place had these amazing huge tiered cakes priced at $3.50 per slice. They were stunning, but a little out of my budget, and I commented to my mom that since we would have so much food, maybe most people wouldn't eat the cake anyways, so maybe we should just order a tiered cake for like 150 people instead of 200. So I asked the consultant at the bakery how big a cake would be for 150 people, and did she think it could possibly feed 200 if they cut smaller slices. The woman told us that the cake for 150 people is exactly the same size (18, 14, 12, 6) as the cake for 200 people - because there's a range for how many people the cake will feed. So then I said "oh, so it's the same price for 150 as it is for 200 people?", and she said "no, you'll pay $3.50 per slice for 150 people instead of 200". So in the end, we ordered a cake for 150 people - it's exactly the same size as the cake for 200 people, but we're saving almost $200.
TL;DR: | ask the bakery what the serving ranges are for the different tiered cakes, and order for the lowest number of people for a given range - you'll get the same size cake and pay way less money. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: New VW Jetta is defective and can't be fixed. What are my options?
POST: I purchased a 2015 Jetta TSI SE new about a month ago in TN. Since I've had it, the vehicle shakes badly when I get above 50 mph. I have had it to the dealership twice, and got it back today. It still shakes badly. VW Corporate claimed that the tires on the vehicle were defective, and the dealership replaced them under warranty, however VW says they won't do anything more to repair it and I need to contact Pirelli regarding the tire warranty.
I am wondering what my legal options are to get rid of this car and get something that works? From my understanding, in TN, there is no period to return a car if you do not want it after purchase. Is there any kind of lemon law that covers situations like this? The vehicle has been in multiple times for repairs and can't be corrected, so I'm assuming there has to be some way I can return it and get something that properly functions.
TL;DR: | New car violently shakes; VW can't fix it. I want it gone. What are my legal options in TN? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Got drunk twice cheated on girlfriend of 2 months [22m/23f]
POST: In the first couple of weeks of seeing my girlfriend I went out, got drunk and kissed another girl. She asked me the next day if I had done anything when I went out and I told her outright. I said that I didn't yet think of us as being an item and I was sorry.
A couple of weeks later I went out with a friend and did the same thing (with another stranger), I felt terrible and couldn't bring myself to tell her.
This all took place up until mid December, we met at the end of October.
We went away on holiday together after new years and when we came back I truly felt that I loved her and wanted to be with her an only her.
I knew that she had kissed a guy on the neck at a new years party and pushed him away.
I said that I wanted to get everything out in the open and I wanted to be honest and trusting of each other before we moved forward. I told her that I knew what she had done and that it was ok, I could understand. She said that she thought the only reason I was so ok with this was because I had done something I hadn't told her about.
I then proceeded to tell her everything and she said she couldn't be with me.
We talked in the car for six hours and left on uncertain terms.
I had never been in a serious relationship before this and I guess my years of going out on the town took some getting out of my system. I feel terrible for having hurt her and having no control. I don't know if anyone will pass comment but I have no one else to talk to about this and I feel terrible (I understand that I deserve this and I have brought it all on myself).
TL;DR: | never been in a relationship, went out got drunk and kissed other girls on two occasions, realized I loved my girlfriend deeply after returning from a holiday together, told her everything, thought we could work it out, looks like shes gone |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [20 F] feels like she's fallen out of love with me [22 M] and I'm wondering if there's hope for us?
POST: So basically, my SO recently told me she doesn't know if she wants to keep going with our relationship. We've been together for 2.5 years, but over the past couple months it's been rough because we've been having some ups and downs and managed it poorly by internalizing our frustrations rather than communicating them. We've since talked to each other about these concerns and we've been trying to work through it.
However, she said that basically a month ago, she's since found it really hard to keep trying 100% in this relationship. She said that she knows she loves me, but right now is not "in" love with me. In her mind she says she still feels like this relationship could work, but there's also another part that is telling her that it might not. She's very torn and confused, as am I.
I'm really lost as to what to do. We've agreed on taking a break right now to recollect our thoughts, feelings, and maybe reevaluate our relationship, since there is that little part of her that can still see us working. I'm just really torn because I know we both have had the most amazing 2.5 years together and we were both really happy so I'm not ready to lose her right now.
I'm just wondering if there's any hope for us? Obviously I know this break might not reconcile us but I'm just wondering if people who fall out of love can ever fall back in love. I'm wishing if anything this break might help her realize what we have together after a while of being alone separately? I get that we're also young, as this is our first long-term relationship. Also I know she's not looking to sleep around or anything, it's against we what believe in and also she's said there's not another guy or anything and I know she's telling the truth. Just looking for some advice.
Does anybody have similar stories or experiences?
TL;DR: | Currently on a break with my SO of 2.5 years who feels like she's fallen out of love with me and not sure if she'll feel the same way again. Is there hope for us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I want to get a new job and I need some advice.
POST: So, I've had the same sort of dead end job for the past five years now, and I reached the dead end about four years ago. I actually like my job, but I feel like I've been spinning my wheels here forever and I just want to do something different. So I'm looking for some advice from people who've had good experiences with jobs on what fields I should be looking into.
About me:
I'm 26, I'm not yet a college graduate but with some luck, I'll have my BS in Business Management about a year and a half(I've only got a few classes left, but I'm working through some financial issues.) I'm good with computers, but not nearly good enough for a job in cs, and I'm good with people too. I am, in my humble opinion, of above average intelligence, I'd even say quite smart. And again this is just my own highly biased opinion, but I feel like I could do virtually anything, and I'm successful at anything I do try. I don't have any job specific interests besides maybe video games(not an obsession or distraction, just the only thing I'm able to work up a mild enthusiasm for.)
What I'm looking for:
The only thing I really need is at least 40 hours a week and $12-15/hr(easier said than done I know.) Insurance or vacation time aren't really priorities, but something with *some* chance of advancement would be nice. I'd like to do something where I don't have to deal with people(not co-workers or superiors, I mean customers; I work in retail now.) I also need something with some time flexibility for when I do start taking classes again.
I'm not necessarily looking for a career, I just want to make sort of a lateral move. And I've already got a job, so I don't need to rush into anything.
TL;DR: | Looking for a new job, but not really sure what I'm looking for. I'm hoping for some general recommendations. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Can an email be a binding contract for obtaining rights to a work? If so, is this a breach of contract?
POST: FL, USA
I'm an independent filmmaker who contacted an author via email about adapting his short story into a screenplay and film. He gave me permission right away. We agreed that in return for the permission to adapt his work, I would credit him, keep in touch with my progress, and send him the screenplay when it was completed. He wished me luck making the movie and never asked for anything of monetary value.
Fast forward a few months. I've been working on the screenplay, given him a few updates to which he responded with nothing less than enthusiasm. I emailed him discussing the current status of the project and mentioned sending him a formal contract to sign and send back (because I wanted to avoid exactly what ended up happening). He ignores that email, I send another two weeks later. He replies saying that he can't sign the rights away at the moment but that we will be able to move forward within the next month.
A month later I email him again, he doesn't respond. A week later I send another email saying if I don't hear back by the end of the month I'm walking away from the project. He emails me and apologized for avoiding me, but says he signed a deal with a small studio and gave them the rights to the story. He gave me the producer's contact information.
I email the producer telling my side of the story. He says that he never heard of me and would ask the author. A week later I get an email where the producer says he asked the author and the author told him he never gave me any kind of permission. The producer basically told me to shove it and now won't respond to my emails.
I have from the author, in writing, multiple times that I have permission to adapt his work. He knew I was writing the screenplay and making the movie. By giving a studio the rights to make the movie, he can't uphold his end of my deal. And he purposely went behind my back to make this deal and avoided telling me about it. Can I do anything?
TL;DR: | Author gave me permission to adapt his work; goes behind my back and strikes a deal with a studio and now I'm SOL. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20f] am pretty positive that my [21m] boyfriend is infertile, together for 2 years
POST: So my boyfriend has always had clear semen, and I never thought much about it until I saw a mention of clear semen on reddit recently and apparently it's pretty indicative of infertility.
However, my boyfriend is in a bit of a unique situation as infertile guys go because he has an identical twin and I'm almost positive that the cause of his infertility is not genetic.
Why would I think that? Because he had one testicle removed when he was an infant and hasn't had any follow up, or hormone supplements or anything.
I've asked him in the past out of pure curiosity if he would ask his brother for a sperm donation if he discovered later in life that he was infertile (he does want to have kids someday) and he said he didn't like the idea of his wife being pregnant with someone else's kids, which I don't really understand because they're identical! He'd show up to be the father just as much as his brother on a paternity test on any kids his brother has.
I'd like to reopen this conversation with him, and maybe have him see a doctor about whether he is actually infertile or just has very limited fertility, but I want to do it in a way that won't make him feel inadequate.
He and his brother are very close, and I don't see any reason why he would deny my boyfriend viable sperm if he's got it.
We aren't actually trying to have a baby currently, however we would both like to have children some day. I just think it would be better to resolve some of this now before going through the stress of trying for months with no results.
TL;DR: | I think my boyfriend is infertile and I'd like to talk to him about it and asking his twin brother for "assistance" without hurting him. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] with my friend [24F], she has been diagnosed with a serious illness and I'm afraid I don't know how to interact with her.
POST: I'm meeting up with a friend tomorrow who has been diagnosed with cancer. Her prognosis is relatively good, but she still has to do chemo and will experience all the unpleasantness that comes with that. I would not call us close, but we clicked when we met and she kind of looked up to me and came to me for advice on things.
We see each other every couple of months, sometimes more frequently, sometimes less frequently. My affection for her as a friend is genuine, but I'm extremely reserved around people and don't typically hug or express myself verbally about how I feel. I show my affection by doing things for people or giving them small gifts. So when she told me what was going on I made sure to tell her that I care about her and I'm there for her for whatever she needs, and suggested a few specific things I can help with(I read it's better to offer help with specific things).
Anyway, I'm a little weird around people to begin with and have a lot of trouble in social situations. I have difficulty knowing how to interact in everyday scenarios(like someone saying hello in the grocery store), and I have never had a young friend go through an illness like this. I'm very concerned that I will say or do the wrong thing.
We are meeting up tomorrow and I'm really concerned about acting in a way that makes her feel bad. I feel this way because we were chatting earlier and she mentioned something she felt about her illness and I just started crying. I couldn't hold it together at all. I felt so incredibly bad that she has to go through this at such a young age that I couldn't hold back the tears. We were not on the phone, so she is not aware(thankfully). What if I feel the tears starting when we see each other? How do I hold it together? I don't want it to seem like I am making it about me or something. I'm naturally a very empathetic person and it's easy for me to cry over the tiniest thing involving another person being hurt(even animals, people in movies, BAD people who probably had it coming, etc.).
TL;DR: | My friend is sick, I feel terrible for her. How do I keep my teary ass in check when I see her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [24F] of 5 years, cheated while away for Dental school
POST: First time posting on Reddit, so please forgive me of any errors, etc. So my girlfriend and I have been together for five years now. Went to middle/highschool together didn't really talk but became friends in college and started dating. We both moved away for undergrad after transferring from a JC and lived together for three years. She got accepted into dental school and moved away. I stayed back to work and help out my family and we both agreed to make it work. 3 weeks ago I gave her a surprise visit and later on that day I saw a picture of her and another guy on her phon . She's mentioned him before I guess he's in his last year of school and moves in December. I approached the picture to her she says its just a joke that her friends took and I left it alone. Later on, I found out via mutual friends she was kind of into him and wanted to go on a date. I approach this as well and she starts crying and says yes she got sidetracked because it was a new environment for her. I understood the situation, and asked if they hooked up. She told me n . Fast forward until the other day.
I broke my laptop and asked if I can use hers and I open up gmail to see she has a separate account. There are messages and pictures of him, basically sexting (or sexemailing lol). I found out they slept together and she said he makes her feel amazing and in ways she's never felt before. It completely ripped me apart and I lost it. There were emails saying things she's never said to me and do things she's never even mentioned to me. I did yell at her and told her how she treated me like a piece of shit. Now, Idk what to do. I really want to make it work but I just need some help. I really love her and I can see she does want to make it work and realizes she fucked up. She has finals going on so I told her wed talk after her school is over. Its over tomorrow. And I have no clue what to do.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of five years cheated, both want to make it work but idk how. Asking for truthful advice. Thank you! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [19 F] explain to this guy [26 M] I went on one date with, that I'm not interested?
POST: I was at work Valentine's Day morning when a customer, long-story-short (the details are irrelevant to my issue), asked me to go bowling with him when I got off of work. I said sure yeah and gave him my number, etc.
I'm not exactly "seasoned" in relationships -- my first one [LDR] ended in September (dated almost 2 years) very messily, then I hooked up with a couple guys and realized I am more of the "relationship type". I started going out with another guy, 20/M, for a month, then he went back to school 3 hours away and the distance killed it and he wanted to rewind to being friends, but not seeing other people (although it wasn't really clear). We weren't talking very much, so I just went on a couple dates.
On Valentine's Day, I was still bitter from some Mr. Perfect Amazing guy playing me after one date a couple days before. He really seemed amazing, but turns out he just wanted sex, and I wanted to bounce back a bit when the opportunity struck, to my surprise.
I had a great time with the [26/M] guy in question, but I'm 19. He's already lived in NYC, and has much more life experience than I do, and I explained this to him in text this morning. He still won't give up on me, which is sweet, but he's just not getting it. He keeps saying, "just tell me the real reason. ~~We both know~~ you seem mature enough for me, so please spare me the feelings."
THAT IS THE REAL REASON.
TL;DR: | I've realized that his older age is a novelty and I need a spring chicken, but he doesn't believe me! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why can't I [20/F] bring myself to end this abusive relationship with him [21/M]?
POST: My boyfriend of two years has been occasionally physically/verbally abusive towards me for over a year now. Somehow I still find myself in this relationship.
The abuse in the relationship definitely fits that "cycle of abuse" model where a period of stability in the relationship is followed by a build up of anger and then the abuse occurs. Afterwards he always apologizes profusely and promises to change.
I've been choked in front of people, my arms twisted and yanked, hit in the face... and verbally abused as well. The physical abuse hasn't happened for a while now but we fight about every day. He refuses to leave me alone when we fight or get away from me (for example if I tell him to get out of my car he'll flat out refuse). In these cases I have to play along and act like everything's all better and tell him I care about him for him to just leave me alone sooner. It makes me so so resentful and angry.
And if you're not already thinking I'm crazy for staying with him, here's where my presence in the relationship here's where the waters get really murky.
I literally don't have any friends. I have my immediate family who I'm in constant contact with but that's it. Even then, me and my family aren't too too close. So I'm lonely most of the time. No one knows anything about what's going on in this relationship -- this is the first time I've ever spoken about it. I have no one to turn to because I don't feel ready to bring this up to anyone in my family. He's the only person in my life and the only one I have to talk to and go do things with. We've spoken almost everyday for about 2 years now... not talking with him for an extended period of time would just feel unnatural as fucked up as this whole thing is.
I guess I'm just at my breaking point and wondering if I'm actually crazy and should end the relationship. I want to know if anyone else has gone through this or if anyone can offer a perspective on the situation. I don't know where to seek help. I don't know where to start. Without him I would have no one.
TL;DR: | been in an abusive relationship for 2 years. no social support system. should i leave this relationship/seek help? he is my only friend and sometimes i do enjoy being around him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is your "WTF???" interaction with a random stranger?
POST: Ill start...this happened literally 5 minutes ago...at work in an ambulance, and we're parked in some parking lot. My (off-duty) sup pulls up w/ his (smoking hot and German) girlfriend. Some random hobo overhears me make a reference to her Germanity and comes over. (This dude looks like Sam Elliott) in a southern accent he asks "how much do you pay in taxes? Its about half aint it? Did you know that Uncle Sam was German? Its in the library...go get some education. His name is rockefeller...and hes still alive. See that shopping center across the street? He built it. Its in the library. He takes half your money and puts it in the bank and then you get your check. Its German money...dont ever print it. He'll kill ya. I was tryin to find a job about 15 years ago, and i couldnt till i went to the library and educated myself. It was rockefeller...he did it. He gave you your job. Hes supposed to give everyone a job. See you at the library!" After he walked away my coworker and i looked at each other...and we both went "what the FUCK?!?!?!" It made me wonder what some of your stories are...
TL;DR: | my coworker and i were approached by a wild shiftless hobo who lectured us on taxes and rockefeller and said hed see us at the library |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/m] How can I make this happen? (18/f)
POST: I work at a restaurant, only seasonally while I'm not at college. I only have like twenty days left at work. One of the waitresses is absolutely gorgeous, and we've been friends for several years, and we've worked together for two summers. We flirt a lot. A lot. But we also joke around a lot, so I don't know how much of her flirting is joking. I mean, we get pretty vulgar sometimes. I'm a little overweight, and she's stressed heavily that she's a chubby-chaser. Our hugs are pretty sensual.
However, I don't want to ruin the friendship. So my question: is there a way for me to casually invite a romantic relationship in perhaps a comical way? I've got the line, "Wanna just go have sex? I'm kidding, of course. Unless you're serious, in which case, I'm dead serious." But that seems that she might still think I'm kidding.
TL;DR: | Wanna get it on with a girl, but we joke around too much to be sure that there's a connection. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[20M] is trying to get closer to [20F] but I don't know if I've blown it already.
POST: So a met this girl maybe 3 months ago, we'll call her Mary. We hung out once or twice before she went home for two months. I had totally forgotten about her until she send me some music. We exchanged music for a while, then eventually hung out. During said hangout we just talked, and took a walk. At this point I'm liking her more and more. She invites me to a party at her place where we talk and eventually go our separate ways. I'm liking Mary a lot at this point, and I want to show it, so I invite her over for dinner that I am cooking for her. She accepts, but at the last minute bails and says (via text) "Hey I'm really not trying to leave my house right now, it's cold and rainy and I'm feeling lazy" (it was cold and rainy). To that I respond " :/ alllrighhhttt" because at the time I was very disappointed (probably should have tried to reschedule). To that she responds: "I'm sorry dude but if I go out tonight i'll let you know". I realized either I may have been too forward, or she really did not want to leave the house. I later sent her more music to show I was not upset, and received no response after a few days. Have I scared her off, or do I continue to pursue with less stressful hangouts (coffee, sports, ect.)
Sorry if these seems trivial, sometimes I can't tell if my issues are ridiculous or legitimate. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I truly appreciate any feedback.
TL;DR: | I can't read this girl. Was I too forward thus scaring her off, or is she expecting me to hangout in a less stressful environment before making the leap to dinner at my place? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [25 M] send my previous crush an email [25 F] after she told me not to contact her anymore?
POST: Long Story Short.
Met up with my old High school crush (after 10 years). We have a very good talk , but then I told her over text I cant be her friend only (I have strong feelings for her), she only wanted to be friends. I started acting like an idiot (needy), thus She deleted me. I apologized for my behavior, she accepted but told me not to contact her again (To take time for my self). I sent her email after that to help her with her masters application only (I told her not to respond).
I want to send her another email just thanking her, because after her rejection I felt motivated to better my self. I am not in love with her anymore. I don't need to be her friend again, I am only telling her that she impacted my life in a profound way, and wishing her the best. I don't want to start talking to her again!
Woman of Reddit? Should I send this email? its been a few weeks since my last email (which she has not responded too). Should I ever contact her again (her birthday next year maybe?)
TL;DR: | I want to thank her only , even though she told me not to contact her anymore. I don't want to re-initiate interest or anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Looking for dating advice
POST: Throwaway account since my friends found my name and I'd rather they don't know about this. [19/m]
Bit of background: It's been about 4 years since my last relationship. It lasted about 1.5 years and ended on a sour note. Since then, I think I've unintentionally discouraged myself from dating again. I finally went on a date in October with a stranger. She was fun, but we didn't click.
Now the part(s) I'm currently stuck on. There's a girl in one of my classes who I've been getting along with pretty well and I think she could be interested in me. Body language is pretty typical: touching my leg, laughing at jokes, etc. However, I'm not sure how to approach. I don't really hang out with many people outside of classes since ever. School is usually my human interaction, so I don't know what "normal people" typically do. My school is also stuck in the middle of no-where farm country, so anything mildly interesting is usually a full day excursion.
I apologize if this is difficult to follow. I've been placing pixels all day.
The questions: Should I ask her out? What are things people would typically do on a date?
TL;DR: | Crazy Ex ruined relationships for me. Starting to want to date again. Attractive friend. I don't go outside. Halp. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What to do when people who neglected to RSVP for an event end up showing up at your party?
POST: I (29F) am throwing a party, and sent out the invites some time ago. In the RSVP portion of the invite, I asked for a text or call by a certain date. The due date for responses has come and gone. I have had a handful of people who have responded. I am pretty certain that other people (early 20's M+F) who were invited are just going to 'show up' at the party. I will be prepared food wise, but the favors for the party will be in short supply. By this I mean, I only want to give the party favors to people who were courteous to RSVP.
I am wondering how to handle this situation. I do not want to call people to see if they intend on coming, as I am putting this party together alone, and have a full plate. I also don't want to feel like I am pressuring anyone to attend. Is there a tactful way to only offer party favors to those who have let me know that they will be in attendance? I will make sure that there is enough food for everyone, but since the favors are labor intensive I'd rather not make a bunch of extras 'just in case'. Is there a way to gracefully handle 'party crashers'?
TL;DR: | I have a suspicion that people who didn't respond to my invite will show at my party anyway. How can I handle having a limited supply of party favors? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my [19 F] and [38 M] friends in a relationship had a threesome.
POST: I had a threesome with a couple that are my best friends the other night and all was looking a bit like a blossoming polyamourous relationship was about to happen. They stayed here for a further 3 nights, but nothing more happened. They know I want a polyamourous relationship. I got the idea into my head after reading the AMA about the guy with two dicks and have spoken with [38 M] about it. He is game! [19 F] is on the fence, but likes the idea of two guys, giving it to her, but doesn't want to make him feel ignored or jealous. I have realized my bisexuality in this process too. I would gladly give it or take it in the rear and she is literally the hottest woman I've ever met. They are both a little special. I have developed strong feelings for both of them, but they don't seem to want to pursue it anymore at this point and as such have gone off back to his. I can't just ignore it, though, because we have literally become family and we already take care of each other, as in we all chip in for food when we spend these weeks together.
Does anybody have any experience in dealing with polyamourous relationships? What should I do, Reddit? Anything I should be aware of when pursuing this type of thing?
TL;DR: | had threesome with a couple/best friends. I want to pursue polyamourous relationship, they do too, but things are awkward with jealousy and stuff. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should a [29M] act now on his feelings toward a wonderful grad student [28F].
POST: THE PLOT: There is a female graduate student my buddy wants to approach. She is one of those people who has everything you want in a woman. She is smart, truthful, sense of humor, outgoing, kind and not insane. She doesn't even know how pretty she is. Most men are afraid to approach her.
She has been dating (3 months) a postdoc [31?/M] at the university. She really likes him, but Dr Nerdy keeps her at a distance, doesn't treat her as a girlfriend and doesn't act as if he wants this gem. The guy is leaving the university in about 6 months. He's using her as a fill-in till he leaves and must think he can find someone else at his next destination. (that's a joke). The question is does my buddy wait until Dr Nerd leaves OR try and approach her NOW in a low key friendly way?
FYI: The truth is I'm paraphrasing this question for my friend who doesn't have a Reddit account. We've placed bets on how Reddit will respond. Give us some logic and be thoughtful. A bottle of 15 year Scotch depends on it.
TL;DR: | Approach an amazing girl while sh's dating Dr Nerd, who's ready to leave her in 6 months or wait till he leaves her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[F27] fucking hate that my boyfriend[M31] never seems to go out his way to see me
POST: We're together for about 4 months and I have the feeling it's always on his terms if we see each other or not. I feel I'm compromising way more just to be with him, for example spend the Tuesday evening with his rather boring friends... It's ok for me, I'm happy just to see him, but he just never seems to do something he doesn't want to just to be with me.
One example, his friends were planning on going to a ski trip for New Years Eve, and even though I don't ski, I said I'd come because I didn't want to start the new year without him. Had to cancel nonetheless because of financial reasons. He said he could cancel too, but the next day, he send me a text saying he booked the trip. I just know, if the roles were reversed, I'd never do that.
Yesterday was another thing. A friend of mine visited me, and my bf and I made plans to see each other afterwards. I've got a lot to study atm, so it's not like we see each other all the time. So, I was happily calling him after my friend left, just to hear that he had actually been sleeping. Probably not even thinking about our plans or that he might tell me he's going to sleep so I don't look forward to nothing the whole time.
I don't know, maybe I didn't put my foot down at the beginning of the relationship. I didn't want to be the "naggy girlfriend", but maybe that's what I should have been. It probably didn't occur to him that he hurt me with this behavior.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I see each other when he wants us too, and don't when he doesn't. He never seems to compromise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] can't seem to get over someone I almost had[19 F] 4 years ago.
POST: I started talking to a girl my freshman year of high school and for various reasons we never actually dated. I would date other girls, but I ended the relationships because I could not stop thinking about the girl from freshman year.
This was not just a month later. This was two years later. I dated a girl and 9 months later I broke up with her because I could not stop thinking about the girl from freshman year.
This summer I told her exactly how I felt and how often I though of her. She accepted it and was thankful I told her. However, she had just gotten out of a relationship of nearly a year. She went back to him. I got moved to the side.
They break up again a few months later and I'm the first person she comes to because we are just that close of friends. I still have ridiculous feelings for her and we do see each other several times a week because of school.
I consider her one of my best friends. I just do not know whether I should wait for her to come around or move on..
TL;DR: | I can not get over a girl I almost dated four years ago, we have a recent and past history. I don't know if I should just move on or be patient with her. |
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