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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My [F20] dad [M40] won't let me and my boyfriend [M20] Have pets in our own home
POST: My boyfriend and I have moved into our own home in the last month or so, we really want to adopt two kittens however my dad said if we do he will not come visit me anymore.
he says this because the cats would have to be house cats as we live next to a busy road, he calls this cruel and horrible. I do agree somewhat. Cats should be able to go outside however if it did here, it would get into the road.
My boyfriends mum really wants us to have cats, she says it's not a home until we do.
I'm really stressed out because my dad gets stubborn and I don't want to dissapoiint him, but it's my house.
TL;DR: | my dad says having a house cat is cruel and if me and my boyfriend get one he won't visit me anymore |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29/F] with my bf [31/M] and brother [25/M]. My bf has some potentially awkward family medals on show.
POST: My boyfriend of around 18 months, lets call him Louis is a white South African but has lived in the UK for over 10 years. Louis's parents died when he was very young and he was basically raised from the age of 7 onwards by his uncle Pieter who never had kids of his own.
Pieter served in the South African army as a conscript when apartheid was still in force, and fought in Angola and Namibia and earned a couple of medals. When Pieter died a few years ago Louis inherited his medals and now keeps them framed on the living room wall in our shared flat.
I'm of mixed race heritage and have no problem with the medals being on display as neither Louis (or Pieter by the sounds of it) are/were pro apartheid, Louis likes to keep the medals as a reminder/tribute to the man who raised him and his personal bravery. Not the government he fought for.
My brother Joe is very proud of our black (Jamaican) heritage, almost to the extreme I would say. He won't stop talking about Black Lives Matter in the US and how people of colour here should start something similar. While I can understand his frustrations it does get tiring. In fairness to Joe he does moderate himself around Louis and they get on quite well, but this will be the first time he is coming to our new flat and I'm not sure how he'll react if told about the medals. I don't want to have to ask Louis to take them down because I know how much his uncle meant to him and those medals are a part of him.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend has some family medals from Apartheid South Africa, afraid how my very race aware brother will react when he comes for dinner on Sunday |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: So I sent my bf a tit pic
POST: I really really *really* don't like my boobs. My nipples are the size of fucking douple Ds but my boobs are between B and C, their funky shaped, and while not asymmetrical that means their both bad rather than ones alright and ones terrible. I almost always have on at least a bra. We've been getting fairly serious and I knew he wanted to see them and I was thinking "can I please just give you a BJ?" But we live several states away from each other, so I can't for a while. I was thinking that I'd like put ice on them so my nipples would look smaller and they wouldn't be so yuck, then lift my shirt while we were skyping, but I cant skype as I have a ton of work to do. I just felt like it was right so I just lifted my shirt, took a picture, and sent it. I was scared he'd be grossed out or something, but he was happy. My confidence has just fucking gotten a major boost.
TL;DR: | I hate my boobs but my fairly serious BF wanted to see them, he didn't think they were as gross as I see them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [26/F] my SO [26/M] says I am a downer, and hates when I am like that.
POST: Without too much details, yeah I can be a depressive and a downer. I am willing to change this about myself, any advice would be welcomed. However, I do feel that at times he is way too critical of me, and this has me feeling worse about myself. I am struggling to communicate this to him in a way he can understand. My SO is not very emotional and thinks primarily with logic. I am just feeling even more frustrated and down because of this after he said he refuses to be around me when I am like this. I don't feel like that is helping the situation and on, again any advice is welcomed.
TL;DR: | SO says I am a downer, want to change, but also SO is critical and want to communicate it logically to him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend[24f] beat depression, wants to take a break and see other people. I[23m] only want to be with her.
POST: After some pretty severe depression she got on medication and now says she feels like a whole new person and wants to experience all the things she feels like she's missed out on. We've been together for five years, engaged for most of that time and have a sort of floating wedding date.
The optimistic part of me that hopes this will all get worked out thinks maybe this is just cold feet and adjusting to her medicine. The rest of me is worried maybe she's just outgrown me. She tells me I'm the most important person in her life, I'm her best friend, and she loves me more than even her family, but she doesn't know if she's still in love with me. Sometimes she still expresses that she's in love with me, but she's just not sure all the time anymore.
We were friends for years before we even started dating, best friends for two years before, and I know I can't bear to see her with anyone else. I'm terrified of losing my best friend and the woman I was certain I would be spending the rest of my life with.
Is a break ever just a break? Or does a break up always follow?
TL;DR: | She wants to see other people and think about how she feels about me. If she decides she doesn't want to be together anymore I know I won't be able to have her in my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my ex-girlfriend [23 F] 2 years off and on but mostly off, girl trying harass my life and spreading rumorsBreakups
POST: My now ex has told her new boyfriend or friend that I won't leave her alone, when she was the one texted me, called to apologize, then i told her I still think she is a bitch and her apology changes nothing for me and that if she feels better that's good for her. Her boyfriend called me, I answered the phone at work. I hanged up immediately when I realised what this was about. He called back and left this voicemail message
I am not wasting my time...
I developed a rash the second time i had sex with her... I went to two Doctors they told me it was nothing and it went away...
She tells 'her friends' nasty things about me. I was friends with 'her friends' at first and we were pretty cool, but not after me and this girl broke up. She made it seemed like the reason she wanted to end the relationship was because her family doesn't like me, but I was like whatever, I only got back together with you for the sex.
She was seeing someone else already on to her.
She uses Meds for epilepsy, I saw them in her bag once, so I just have to excuse her. But that guy needs to understand you don't call a guy and leave expletives on his voicemail at someone's whim.
I finally have my last semester at college, and that will be the last time I even have to see that poor excuse for a young female, so I am happy about that, I would like to just avoid her all together.
TL;DR: | I feel like I am acting like I am afraid she will do something that will harm me or my reputation, I do not want to live in any fear of a woman, what should I do in my situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I accidentally marked exempt on my W4 form, and worked for three years before noticing. What do I do about it now?
POST: Good morning Reddit, long-time lurker here, who seems to have found himself in a predicament.
In 2014 I started a seasonal job, March through June, and I returned to that job in 2015, and again in 2016(Though this year it extended to September). It was my first job, so I knew nothing about taxes back then(And only barely know anything now). I didn't file taxes or tax returns for 2014 or 15, because it seemed to be taken automatically out of the pay and I was told I didn't have to pay anything if I made less than 10,000, which I did until 2016.
I did/do look at every pay stub I receive. But I'd never shared it with anyone, nor had I ever looked at anyone else's, so I didn't realize there was a mistake until my sister(Who works for the same company) and I received our final paychecks this year, and for an unrelated reason, compared stubs for the first time. We were rather shocked to find that she payed over double what I did in taxes, despite earning just over half what I did(She's part time, I'm full). That's when I noticed I was exempt from State and Federal Withholding, and she was not. After some research, I found that I should not be either.
I don't know if this was my screwup or my boss' screwup, and I don't care, it was three years ago. I did some googling, and found that other folks have made the same mistake, but I'm posting here anyway because I've not found anyone that worked for so long before noticing. I guess I'm just a special kind of clueless.
Having waited so long, I'm a little worried the IRS is going to hit me with a fine. I have the savings necessary to pay what should have been withheld, barring a fine or massive interest, so my ultimate question is, what's my next move? Do I need to do anything before filing taxes(Which I've never done before) to let them know there was a mistake, and I'm not intentionally evading taxes?
TL;DR: | Worked a seasonal job for 3 years, never filed taxes, just now realized that I've been exempt from Federal and State Withholding all this time. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Exercise Induced Asthma
POST: Hello r/loseit,
I suffer from Exercise Induced Asthma, for those of you who don't know what that is, it's exactly what it sounds like. Every time I start working out, about 2 minutes into any workout (Running, push ups, bike ride...etc) My breathing becomes labored, I start feeling lightheaded from lack of oxygen to my brain and start to feel like I'm going to throw up. Because of this I don't work out, because I hate feeling like death every time I do. I got a prescription inhaler from a doctor about 2 years ago, but it honestly does not work as well as I'd like. If I can go 2 minutes without having an attack without the inhaler, I can go 5 minutes with.
Does anyone else here suffer from EIA? Any tips on what I can do to keep working out and not feel like death?
TL;DR: | I suffer from Exercise Induced Asthma, would like to work out without having an Asthma attack. Any tips will be appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Over my Credit Limit by accident
POST: I've got all my debt consolidated onto one card that I'm paying off. However, I went to dinner with my company the other night and went to pay the tab for the dinner (I get reimbursed for it). Well, I used the wrong card by accident. They charged the card with all my debt on it and pushed it over the limit. I paid off the over the limit portion with some of my savings today (I'll replace this with the reimbursement I get in a day or so), but I want to know if this is going to affect my credit score?
TL;DR: | Went over my credit limit by accident, and paid it off as soon as I knew (2 days later). Will this affect my credit score? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I just drank my own piss. Reddit, what's the most disgusting thing that's happened to you?
POST: I've been drinking a lot of water and iced tea lately, so i've also been peeing a lot lately. It's 3:15 AM as I type this and I've made around 4 bathroom trips in the last couple of hours.
So here I am in the middle of an intense game of Counter-Strike and I didn't want to miss anything; I immediately grab the closest can of Arizona iced tea in sight and put my one-eyed jack up to the opening, I then feel like the pee will spray back out when it hits the tab, so i discard that into the trash can and grab a water bottle and go to town.
Keep in mind here, I've been staying as hydrated as possible, and my pee is as clear as a perfect day. 20 minutes later, I start to get thirsty; "Oh hey, I don't remember having any water left in this bottle". Then without thinking, took a huge gulp of 100% OP's Finest Urine, and mid drink I think, "NOOOOOOOO" immediately spit it back into the bottle and the rest onto the floor, run to the bathroom and wash my mouth out with water, then mouth wash, then brush my teeth.
Worst part is for whatever reason it's still just sitting there.
TL;DR: | Pee'd in a bottle, pee is crystal clear, drink it, proceed to sterilize self in preparation for the next patient. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [35F] friend and coworker [37F] has a terminal illness. Is this a weird thing to do?
POST: We have worked together for about 9 months and have become fairly good friends at work, but it hasn't really extended to hanging out outside work yet. She is fairly open about her health, and though I know it's the kind of thing that could take a bad and irreversible turn at any time, I don't know the specifics. I feel weird prying too much.
She made a comment the other night to the effect that many of the other people we work with, including our supervisors and manager, refuse to talk about her situation or acknowledge the fact that she might not be able to work in a year or two or five. And it made me really sad, because I could tell she was frustrated by it. Would it be weird or out of line to send her a message saying something like "I don't know the specifics of your situation, but I'm not afraid of hearing about it or talking about it, so if you ever need an ear, call or text me anytime"? I'm kind of awkward sometimes, and I don't think I'm innately very approachable with stuff like that, but I hate for a friend to think she can't talk about something so important with any of us.
TL;DR: | Friend has terminal illness, is it weird to reach out and and let her know she can call me if she needs to talk about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[20M] friend's[18M] girlfriend[19F] has been coming onto me.
POST: I've been in a rut. For obvious purposes I'll be using fake names and referring to them as Jan and Jim. I've been friends with both of them for years. They didn't really know each other until two years ago when we all had class together then they started dating at the end of the school year.
Me and Jan have had a thing back then in middle school, but I never went out with her. One night me and Jan were texting then the conversation led to sex, not sexting, but sexual preferences and other things. I didn't think much of it because all three of us has had a conversation together about sex before. However, over a span of a few months she sent me some provocative snapchats. Some with her cleavage, in her bra, and some asking about her butt.
I've never reciprocated other than the sex conversations. I've been quiet about it and haven't said anything to Jim. Me and Jan do stuff together without Jim, but he knows every time and doesn't care. I'm just conflicted on what to do. Do I tell him or just let this go and leave them be?
TL;DR: | My friend's girlfriend has been sending me provocative snapchats. Do I tell my friend or just keep it to myself? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear musicians of reddit, I need your suggestions.
POST: Hi reddit!
I love music a lot and I want to be able to play a musical instrument. Since I like piano, and somehow it seems to have so much more emotional depth than other instruments, I began taking piano lessons about 2 months ago. Okay, here's the thing thats been bothering me.
The problem i'm facing is, my aim in learning to play the piano (or any instrument) is to be able to play any song I hear without the need of music sheets. I've seen many videos where the pianist says he/she just plays it by ear. I want to be able to do that. Which seems to be a tough thing to do given that have no musical background whatsoever. So, considering my goal, should I continue to learn to play the piano or switch over to an other instrument? An easier one maybe? What are your views?
I'm 23 now, and can spare 1 hr each day on weekdays and 5 hrs each day on weekends. I don't mind even if it takes 5,10,15 or more years. I just want to be able to play any song just by ear. Can I do this? What is your advice?
TL;DR: | I want to be able to play any song just be ear. Can I accomplish this with the piano or should I switch over to another (easier) musical instrument? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the best way to deal with a problematic fellow classmate when the professor does not take any action?
POST: I'm currently studying to become a teacher and am currently taking an Intro to Diversity class, which is required for teachers here in FL.
There is a student in my class who constantly goes off on inflammatory, offensive, or ignorant tirades in class, which not only make people uncomfortable or upset but waste a good amount of lecture time... he has something to say about his dislikes for women, immigrants, gays, Obama, non-Christians, and people with disabilities.
I've tried to ignore him but I finally snapped when he went on a rant about how he doesn't want to have an inclusive classroom because he feels he "shouldn't have to babysit" students with special needs, that he should be paid more because they're a burden, he won't get paid enough to "put up with them," etc. I told him that they were human beings who deserve a free and equal educational opportunity, that he was making a broad assumption about students with special needs, and that if he was in it for the money and wasn't prepared to go above the call of duty then teaching was not the right profession for him.
That really pissed him off. He called me "Mother Theresa" and the rest of the class got upset, so the professor finally changed the subject. But now every time I say anything in class, he says things like, "She sounds so fucking stupid, she should just shut the fuck up." I am trying not to take it personally because I know that, as a teacher, I will have differences in opinion with my peers and classmates, which I am okay with. But it is starting to get under my skin, especially since the professor never does anything to curb it.
Is it worth it to meet with my professor, or should I just ignore him? Or is there another solution to the problem? Should I confront him personally about it? Please help... and thank you.
TL;DR: | a fellow student constantly goes on offensive, off-topic tirades and recently started attacking me personally while the professor does nothing about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Using my Waterproof Phone in Water
POST: I have a Sony Xperia Z2 an advertised waterproof phone. I work at a pool and finally mustered up the courage to finally use my phone underwater. At first it was great I took a couple super clear pictures on my phone. Then I took it a little deeper from 1ft-3ft took a photo then all of a sudden my phone is all black. Immediately I feel that the phone is suffering water damage because I had fully charged it prior to coming to work. Obviously I made sure that the sides were all sealed up and the headphone jack is fine even though it is opened before I went in. Still water had seeped through and my phone was gone. As I arrive home I think to myself "It can't be that hard to fix a water damaged phone I could probably do it myself". Worst mistake ever...not only do I know nothing about phone hardware but I didn't even have the proper tools to remove everything. As I start prying off the back the glass shatters, knowing that everything is fucked I just searched up if I could purchase a new backing after I am done with everything. I found one online for super cheap so then I say alright let's do this! I start shattering all the glass until I finally get all the backing off. This is where I really fuck up, after ten minutes of shattering my phone I released minuscule shattered glass everywhere that is small enough to inhale. I immediately grab a face mask and vacuum then get straight to vacuuming. I started with the desk and just to add the cherry on top of everything I suck up some of the pieces I need to put my phone back together.
TL;DR: | I used my waterproof phone at the pool and could have killed myself from inhaling shattered glass from the back of the phone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my neighbors [30sM/F] think they are taking advantage of me and my car.
POST: I 24f live right next door to my neighbors 30s in an apartment for 2-3 months. They don't have a car. I do. They asked me to drive wife to work a few days a week, when we worked at the same place. They offered gas money and a little bit more.
Wife has since changed jobs and now expects me to drive her to work and pick her up 5 days a week. They did up gas money. Plus stops at grocery store/pharmacy/laundromat ect. ect. ect. One pick up from work can take almost an hr, and its about a 5 minute drive home. As well as taking husband to work once or twice a week. Its also going to random places during the day or on weekends.
I'm fed up. Its ok enough money, usually a little late or short, but I have my own job and life. The problem is I park right in font of my door, so they always know when I'm home. They just need to look outside. And I only work part time so I'm always home.
I don't know how to stop driving them around without seeming like an ass. I don't want the money anymore, just my time back. They invited me to open christmas presents this morning with their 2 little boys and got me a gift (that I had to drive them to pick up). They also feed my fish when I leave for a few days.
The final straw was last night, after I had driven them to a few different places throughout the day. They wanted to drive to town at like 9 pm so they could pay their internet bill or else it would be turned off. I said no, it christmas fucking eve! I ended up taking them to get takeout today, but now I'm pissed at myself for agreeing and getting taken advantage of again.
TL;DR: | Neighbors don't have their shit together. Need me to drive them all over and I'm sick of it. How can I politely tell them to fuck off even though they are paying me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my bf [22M] of about 2 months. I'm unsure of whats to do.
POST: So I met this guy on okcupid about 2 months ago. Hes a great guy hes really sweet and cares for me a lot. We have a lot in common and I feel pretty equal to him on an intellectual level. I feel like he kinda rushed me into a relationship before I was ready. At first I went with it because I really liked him. Now I'm kind of confused about my feelings for him.
I tried to break up with him about 3 weeks ago but we talked and I realized some of the issues I was bringing up stemmed from my anxiety disorder. So I fell for him again but for the past week and a half I'd say I'm feeling confused again. I don't feel like we're getting any closer as a couple and I don't feel as crazy about him as I think I should. We had sex for the first time together last night and I didn't feel a connection to him at all. It just felt meaningless to me. I do find him rather attractive.
Could this still be anxiety? It is finals week and I do feel rather stressed. Or could it be if I'm feeling like this I shouldn't try to force it to work? Also if I do want to break up with him, do I do it soon or wait till after christmas?
TL;DR: | I feel confused and have doubts about my relationship that I was rushed into with my bf of 2 months. Break up or try to make it better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 F] am entering a new living arrangement with two other girls [20 F], how best to ask for a specific bedroom?
POST: Entering my senior year of college and I just got out of a living arrangement from hell. I'm moving in with another girl (Rebecca) who has two empty bedrooms in a three bedroom condo. We have been talking about being roommates for 2 months and just found our 3rd roommate (Macy) last week. None of us knew each other prior to deciding to become roommates.
Macy is now seeming pushy and originally asked for the back bedroom with its own bathroom, but Rebecca, who has lived in this condo for a year, is moving into that room. This leaves the other 2 bedrooms sharing a bathroom.
One bedroom is decidedly larger than the other and Macy has now "staked claim" on it under the pretenses that she wants to move in ASAP and since that room will be empty first, she wants it (this is a lie...she told us last week she can move in whenever.)
I am the LEAST picky person in the world, but I am moving from a 3 bedroom apartment where I occupied 2 of the 3 bedrooms (I'm a freelance makeup artist and used the other bedroom as a studio.) There is no way in hell that all of my furniture/supplies will fit into the smaller bedroom, but I don't want to seem rude by saying I need the bigger room. How can I best go about asking for the larger of the 2 rooms?
TL;DR: | Moving into a new living arrangement, wanting to know the best way to ask for the larger of the two remaining bedrooms. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I fear I (26M) am a horribly shallow person, and that's stopping me from fully committing to my girlfriend (27F) whom I love.
POST: I've been in a relationship with a girl for about 5 months now. It's my first long term relationship, (everything before this was just a fling) but we've fallen in love. She's just this amazing person, and I feel so lucky to have her in my life. I know 5 months isn't a long time, and I know this is my first real relationship, but I don't care--I want to marry this incredible girl, and she feels the same.
One thing is holding me back, though, and I hate myself for it: It's the way she looks. I feel terrible even writing that, as it makes it sound much more harsh than I feel. Because the fact is, she's cute, and I am definitely attracted to her. Oh, and her sex drive is off the chart, which suits me just fine. But is she my physical ideal? Not the opposite or anything, but she's just not my idea of sexy.
The thing is, that's stupid, and I KNOW it's stupid. Small breasts on a heavy frame, that's what's holding me back. It's not like I'm a sculpted god myself. And anyway, I really do love her. I'm looking to build a life with this girl, and regardless, looks fade. It's personality that matters, who she really IS, not what she looks like. And she's just about perfect, personality-wise. Kind, smart, caring, supportive...I could go on. But when I see women on the street who I find to be super attractive, I can't help but sigh, thinking of spending my entire life with a woman who I don't find to be sexy. Do I owe it to myself to experience being with a gorgeous woman? Or have I just seen too much porn?
All in all, I think this just a typical male fear of commitment. I hope it is. If so, how do I overcome it? I want to find a way to spend the rest of my life with this girl.
TL;DR: | I love my girlfriend, but I can't get over the fact that I'm not as attracted to her as I want to be. How do I overcome this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling a kid he was in the wrong bathroom
POST: I was at Red Robin with my mom and I had to use the bathroom
So I go to the bathroom and while washing my hands a little girl walks in (it was apparently a boy) and I just stopped and paused for a second and said "uhhhhh I think you are in the wrong bathroom" and the kid stops and doesn't say anything
He just starts to cry and says "I don't look like a girl!" and quickly leaves the bathroom
I waited there for 30 seconds (so I hopefully wouldn't encounter the boy) proceeded to go back to my seat and didn't see the boy the rest of the time I was there
Told my mom about it, she told me that was one of my nephews classmates
TL;DR: | Little boy looks like girl, boy walks in guys bathroom and I tell him hes in the wrong bathroom, boy cry's and quickly leaves the bathroom to not be seen again |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (21F) found boyfriend (23M) being unsafe with a fire arm and being rude in response.
POST: edit (title
TL;DR: | boyfriend was pointing gun in numerous directions with it being unloaded despite knowing the gun safety rules. I got upset and yelled at him and he told me to get the fuck out and that he didn't want to deal with my shit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Just started full time work
POST: Hey guys so I just started my first full time job where I am making around $850/week after taxes. My rent is $931, my utilities should total around $270 (including internet and cable), and I am estimating around $350-400 for food. Bringing my total monthly costs to ~$1600. That gives me a little over 1600 in excess a month.
Currently I have $4500 in savings and I keep $1500 in my checking. I know everyone says to get an emergency fund of at least 6 months, but right now that is far out considering I am just starting out.
My question is how should I go about investing this money on a monthly basis to include in my budget. Should I set aside x dollars a month to my Roth IRA (which I forgot to mention I started last year and have not contributed at all this year to)? Or should I work towards creating an emergency fund? Etc.
I know I need to keep some liquidity in case something happens, but Having $4500 dollars sitting at a low interest rate seems silly.
TL;DR: | New College Grad making $60k/year w/ ~$1600/month expenses wants advice on how to budget to make my money work for me on a monthly basis. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Long distance quasi dating - Suddenly ended. I'm heartbroken :( I'm 18M she is 17F
POST: Hello everyone,
I went on my first real date at the end of this past summer. It was phenomenal - we instantly bonded. However, I had to go to college far away. I was absolutely enchanted by her and so we continued to text, and Skype every weekend, sometimes lasting 5-6 hours, never missing a single week. We made plans for me to go see her during Thanksgiving break and she seemed very enthusiastic. However, about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving break, she just ceased all communication (did not pick up phone, DELETED her fb, ignored all my texts). Needless to say, it was the most miserable break ever :(
Rationally, I know that we were never officially dating and only had been on one date. It was foolish for me to spend so much time with her. However, the time we spent talking was absolutely STELLAR- I could not wait for weekends to come just so that I could see her again. She would text me the most interesting stories and life details.
How should I go forward with this situation? Deep down inside, I know that she had fun spending time with me. She does too. However, I fear one of her friends or someone might have gotten in the way. Would it be wise for me to talk to one of her friends about it?
I cannot get over this without some closure...Everything I love in life, reminds me of her. We are so connected in almost every way :(
TL;DR: | went on date with girl, left for school, spend 3 months skype-dating, then she completely ignores me -what do i do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21] felt like I have just made things worse after my break up with my girlfriend [20] And it is stressing me out so much
POST: Recently broke up with my girlfriend for a long reason I have explained on here some time back
She sent me a message this morning apologizing for something (but i didn't get the first text) so i asked what and she said it didn't matter.
We both went out (obviously not together) on Thursday night to celebrate New Years and I saw her in one of my local pubs. And she kept staring at me across the room like I was the only one there. Anyway I asked during this text was what you are on about, and she said yes and it made her feel upset.
I then said I felt upset too but besides 'you should be feeling happier than me'
She then apparently just cried after that and told me to leave her alone and that I was making things worse..
She told me to go, and I said I didn't mean to upset you and I wouldn't want you to be upset, I didn't realize my comments were making you upset and I apologized.
I said that comment because she left me as she felt like she wasn't ready for a relationship and she told me she had feelings for her ex. I said before that you should be happy for your decision as now you are free to concentrate on yourself and not have me to drag you down as you had doubts. That's what I really meant, but for some reason my comment above made her cry.
We haven't messaged after that, and now I feel awful because she probably thinks I'm just horrible :/
TL;DR: | said something to my ex that I didn't realise would make her so upset. It did, and now I feel horrible about it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20F) do not feel anything towards my boyfriend (20M) all of a sudden. It's only been three months.
POST: So I feel absolutely terrible about this and I don't have a clue what to do. I've been officially dating this guy for just over three months now, seeing each other for a few weeks before that. If I were to write down everything I was looking for in a boyfriend, he would check off just about every box. He is a wonderful person and cares about me so much.
A bit of background I guess, I've been in a relationship that lasted two years and I was so in love until I found out he was cheating so I broke up with him. The only other relationship I had only lasted 2 months until he ended things because he "couldn't commit" and started dating his ex the next day. So I haven't been treated the greatest by guys before, this is also kinda new to me.
When we first started dating, the first few months I would get butterflies and be so excited to see him and spend time with him. One day around three weeks ago, I realized I wasn't excited to see him at all that day (we usually see eachother 2-3 times a week) and didn't even feel like texting him at all. I figured it was just a weird off-day and things would go back to normal but they really haven't. I don't even feel attracted to him which is scary because I definitely was at first and I can still easily recognize that he is conventionally attractive. The few people I've told about this have told me to wait it out and I have but I'm not feeling any differently. I haven't told him any of this, we still hang out and have fun but I am not feeling anything. He has done absolutely nothing wrong and I don't understand. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to fix it?
TL;DR: | Was head over heels for my boyfriend of 3 months, nothing about our relationship has changed and I somehow find myself not feeling a thing towards him anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need to get out of the "younger brother"-zone
POST: I am currently studying at a university, and I quite like it. But there is one thing that bugs me, and I need some tips on how to get out of this.
There is 53 people in my class, and > 1000 studying at said university. I am 20 years of age, not very tall (slightly above 5"10) and not very muscular. My classmates are 23 and above, and I keep being treated like a younger brother when we're not studying. This makes me feel like I'm not taken seriously, beyond the intellectual/technical level (been fooling around with graphic designing/sound engineering/producing for quite a while, got some grades in said things and think of myself as pretty decent). I helped my friends with graphic designs for quite some time, but recently gave up since it didn't give me any respect, but the role "the technical youngster that of course will help me out" instead.
Since I have no real life-experience (went straight from upper secondary to university with only a summer holiday between) I don't seem intresting at all. People speak of the times they were Au Pairs in the US, went travelling across the world or had a long-term job. I sit there, thinking "What the hell can I mention about me?".
This also disables me quite a bit when it comes to girls. If I'm not DJing somewhere I go out for drinks with other people from school on the weekends. When I try to chat some girl up, I just get friend/niceguy/younger brother-zoned. The older people at the club gets selected first, and what's left is the abstinent chicks, the girls in relationships and the passed out and (often) butt-ugly girls.
TL;DR: | not taken seriously at school due to my age, disables me in many ways. How to be seen as "equal"? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the best prank you have ever pulled or has been pulled on you?
POST: When I was about 6 years old my brother and sister used to bully me and say that I was adopted. One day after school my sister who was 16 at the time brought over her 2 friends a boy and a girl. They wanted to play with me a lot and we played for a couple hours. After about 2 hours they took out a piece of paper which had a bunch of stuff written on it and they said that I was there son. I was completely shocked. I said you're my mom? and you're my dad? At that moment I began to cry as my brother and sister came in the room and laughed at me.
TL;DR: | Brother and sister got two of their friends to convince me I was adopted. I fell for it and they laughed while I cried. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Dog is chipped, but migrated to his back.
POST: As the title says, my dog is chipped (he was chipped at the shelter before I got hin), and the chip has now migrated to hid back. He recently got his rabies vaccine re-upped, and long story short, the vet couldn't find a chip, and paperwork was sent in saying he was un-chipped. I found this out, and knowing he was chipped, took him back to my vet to correct the paperwork.
Even though they knew he was chipped, it still took a good amount of searching to find it on his back. He has a lot of stretchy, excess skin around his neck, and I think this is one of the reasons it migrated. I feel that, had I not insisted he was indeed chipped, they would not have searched long enough to find it. I say this, because I took a dog in to the county pound recently, and the guy really didn't search very hard for a chip. Just kinda waved the wand over his shoulders.
So, my concern is that, if he was lost, his chip wouldn't be able to be located, and my chances of finding him again would be reduced considerably. I don't consider him a flight risk at all (never tries to get more than 5 feet from me on or off leash, stays at least 6 feet away from all open doors unless he's leashed), but stuff happens.
My question is this: I want to get another tag for his collar that says something like "I'm chipped!" But we all know how collars can come off. Is it possible to get him re-chipped? What would you do in this situation?
TL;DR: | dog's chip migrated; vet had a difficult time locating it, and probably wouldn't have if not pressed; concerns about finding it if he ever gets lost; what are some options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Girlfriend Moved from CA to CO and her previous employer's final paycheck bounced
POST: So my girlfriend moved back to Colorado about 1 month ago. Before she moved back, she worked as a Nanny for a family.
All seemed well, she gave about a month notice that she was moving and the family was ok with that. My girlfriend gets her final paycheck (about $700) and deposits it into her account and all goes well. About a week later, the bank pulls the money out saying the check bounced and she is being charged a fee for the refund. My girlfriend contacts the family and they say it is not possible that the check bounced because they manage the account meticulously because it is their business expense account and they have yet to see the money refunded. My girlfriend calls her bank and they can't help her much because they are unable to give her any information about the family's bank account.
A few days go by and my girlfriend is in contact with her bank waiting for the situation to be fixed. Nothing happens. She contacts the family again and they say they want their bank to contact her bank because the situation "seems fishy" to them. My girlfriend asked for a contact person so she could give her bank a heads up or at least someone they can contact. She refuses saying she would rather bank take care of it. At this point, my girlfriend's bank managed to find some paperwork showing that the money was returned from her account and deposited back into the family's account, name and information included in the paperwork. So my girlfriend lets the family know that the paperwork shows that and that the problem is on her bank's end if they have yet to be refunded.
The family is being very evasive and refuses to help and doesn't seem to be that interested in getting in contact with their bank.
My girlfriend is very discouraged and is running out of her emergency funds as she is searching for a job here in Colorado. What, if anything, can we do?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend worked as a nanny for a family and her last paycheck bounced and the family refuses to help or issue another check. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Is my company's broker "guilting me" into a higher expense ratio? And, why aren't my shares Class A?
POST: I just spoke with our company's broker since the fund in which my SIMPLE IRA is invested (FTGTX) has a very high expense ratio (2.09%), and I was curious if I was allowed to switch to a less expensive fund.
Somewhat reluctantly, the broker told me that I would technically be able to invest in (nearly) any fund offered by Franklin Templeton, but that expenses help pay for his salary because my company (a small non-profit) does not pay a fee for his services, and that he believes people get too wrapped up in thinking expense ratios are the most important thing.
I have read many times that a managed fund is unlikely to beat the market, and that I should try to invest in a low cost ETF or similar, because fees and compound interest mean significantly less income over the life of an investment.
I'm tempted to tell the broker "I'm sorry it would cut into your salary, but it cuts into my income more", but I'm worried about it hurting the relationship between the broker and my company, and it *is* true that fees helped pay for the rather lengthy phone call I made to him in the first place!
I'm also curious why he chose to purchase FTGTX when FGTIX seems to be the same fund, except Class A. Couldn't he have purchased FGTIX? They both seem to have the same minimum investment. Did he choose the C Class fund only because Franklin Templeton gives him a bigger cut, or are there other reasons he might have chosen it?
Just looking for some advice. Thanks, all!
TL;DR: | Broker told me that expense ratio pays for his salary and is trying to encourage me to focus on other things. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend is too lazy in bed. Is there anyway that could change at that point?
POST: She's 29 and I'm 25. We've been together for 2,5 years now. We love each other, I have never had a more stable and nurturing relationship and I love spending every minute with her. But the sex was never really *too exciting*. When we started dating she told me she didn't have much experience and has only been with a couple of guys. She never takes initiative, even if she badly wants me it's always up to me to start. That isn't a big problem but it's part of a bigger issue. She's just very lazy when it comes to sex. Most of the time she just sort of lays down and expects me to do all the work. We've talked about it and it obviously was news to her that she has to do any work at all. We've talked numerous times but with very little results. We've had oral just once, because I practically had the bluest of balls after 5 days her having menstruation. Even if I try to show her what I would like to see, get her on top, after a minute she's exhausted and annoyed.
Lately I've been fighting attacks from my subconscious with thoughts of sex my ex. We kind of grew up sexually together. We first dated back when we were 16 and took each other's virginity. Three years later we had a very sex-oriented relationship for a year, and two years after that we tried a new relationship before we decided to stop because it obviously wasn't going anywhere but the sex was a chemistry master piece so it ended up in a hurtful on-off thing. After that I met my current girlfriend and fell in love. I do not want to be cynical but sex with her is like two grannies playing ping pong compared to the Olympics I had with my ex.
I'm very confused right now. I'm overwhelmed by thoughts of cheating on my girlfriend.. but it's only sexual. Emotionally that thought is killing me. So I'm searching for advice. Are there any ways I could change my girlfriend's lazy habits? Is there anyway to make her reveal some more potential?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is too lazy in bed, makes me obsessed about sexually cheating on her but I love her. Looking for advice on how to make girlfriend more active. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can someone pls give me 10 solid reasons why Apple(if not better) is not anything special than a PC?
POST: So my cousin(doctor) asked me to fix his laptop. Probably because of the way his infant kids abuse the laptop, the hard disk has failed and even a new installation is not working as it is not even seeing a drive to install it on.
Long story short, him and my uncle, both have this view that apples shit dont stink and I always get into an argument over this. Tomorrow afternoon we have a family dinner and when I bring my cousins broken laptop to him I KNOW he will say something like 'i shouldve just gotten a macbook' or 'macs wont have such problems'
So Reddit please help me out with some logical reasoning I can give them apart from the fact that apple is just raking atleast $750+ for the same shit.
TL;DR: | Give me some backup proof that Apple isnt a system that is error free so that I can teach some knowledge to my people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [F/27] My serious 4-year relationship just ended. My best friend [27/F] is urging me to join Tinder. Is this a bad idea?
POST: My ex and I were together for 4 years and were talking about moving in, marriage, and children. We were supposed to last "forever." We broke up at the beginning of this month and since then I've been in the process of healing and moving on. The past few weeks have been hard but things are getting a bit easier. I've taken down all pictures and reminders of him, I'm not rereading our texts anymore, and he's not on my mind every second. I'm accepting the fact that we're over, but I would not by any means say that I'm completely over him.
3 or 4 months after the end of her 7-year relationship, my best friend Rachel joined Tinder and started going on dates. Since then she's started a new relationship with a guy she met there. I have a bunch of other friends who have found their current boyfriends on Tinder as well. Rachel has nothing but positive things to say about Tinder and she's trying to convince me to join, "not to find a replacement, but to test the waters and meet new people." She says it's a confidence booster that helped her heal, and it's just nice to talk to people.
I am so intimidated by all of this -- dating to boost my confidence, dating through an app with a "hookup" reputation, just dating in general. Or as Rachel puts it, "meeting new people." Should I shake off the doubt and get out of my comfort zone? Is she giving me good advice?
TL;DR: | Just got out of a serious relationship. Best friend is telling me to join Tinder to meet new people. Should I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] with my ex [18M] of over 2 months (dated for 8), I'm having trouble getting over him and it's getting in the way of dating someone new.
POST: So my ex broke up with me a couple of months ago because he moved away for university and couldn't do the distance. I was absolutely heartbroken, and I still am, but I know that I need to get over him. We still occasionally talk until I ruin things by saying I'm in love with him.... blah blah blah, it's stupid.
He's told me he missed me and that school isn't all that great and all I wanted to do is help but I know that right now being friends isn't working for me. I'd like it to work, but I still want to date him and he doesn't and I've accepted that... a bit.
So about a month ago I met this new guy. He's really nice and I like him a lot and I have a lot of fun hanging out with him, but he know's I'm still in love with my ex. Yet despite that he still wants to date me.
I'm really conflicted, I really like this guy, but I'm in love with someone else and I just have no idea what to do. I know that people will just tell me to wait until we get over my ex, but I don't know how long that'll take and I don't want to miss my chance to date this guy. Especially since it's been over two months and I feel no better about the breakup, and in some ways I feel even worse. He said we could keep it casual, but I'm still concerned. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Not feeling any better about my breakup, but I met a new guy who wants to date me and who I like. I'm super conflicted, any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: (xpost from /r/relationships) SO and I are thinking about setting up a fund for student loans in lieu of traditional wedding registry. Thoughts?
POST: Hey, PF. This is a cross-post from /r/relationships. I'm curious if any other financially minded people have ever heard of this, done this, or what their thoughts are.
My SO and I have been discussing wedding plans for some time, and are trying to figure out how we want to go about things. We have a combined household already, and don't really need the things traditionally associated with a wedding registry for presents. We don't plan on having a lavish wedding, and it will be pretty casual (casual = as inexpensive as possible).
What we do need, though, is help with our student loan debt. Having our loans paid down would be infinitely more helpful to our future than getting new linens or a vacuum cleaner. I've looked into some ways to do this that don't seem like "Ummm puhlez just give us ca$h money!!". In several weddings I've been to recently, the bride and groom asked guests to donate to a charity rather than pony up for a physical wedding registry.
There are sites you can set up to directly deposit the funds into your loan balances, and make it more professional/legit.
I suppose my question is, is this acceptable? As a relative/guest, would you be offended by something like this? Have any of you done this?
TL;DR: | We want to set up a fund for our student loan debt instead of a traditional wedding registry. Is this acceptable? Would it offend you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (24/f) am in a long term relationship with my bf (24). But I feel like I'm crushing on someone else.
POST: For a bit of context:
I met "Fred" (27/m) several years ago (maybe 5 or 6 years ago), we've always spoken online since and we've always had a bit of a sexual tension between us. We constantly flirted and definitely had a few webcam sessions but pretty much never met in person (not including our first meet up)
Fast forward several years. I meet my current bf who is wonderful and amazing and I love him and we grow together over 3 years. Still speak occasionally to Fred, but he understood my bf situation and never pushed anything. Bf also knows about Fred, and trusts nothing will happen.
Lately, Fred and I have been spending tons of time together (because I moved back into our home town) and it just happens to coincide with my bf leaving for a 3 week vacation.
Honestly, the time has been great, Fred and I have a great time together "as friends". But there's a really obvious sexual tension and latent feelings from so many years ago (from both of us I imagine). It also doesn't help that my bf is out of town cause it leaves me sort of longing for intimacy (even just for cuddles, but of course that would be inappropriate). I feel like deep down, I want Fred because he has some qualities my current bf doesn't possess and he's giving me the rush of a new crush. But I truly think he and I wouldn't make a great couple in the long run - but the tension remains.
I'd never cheat on my bf and I still love him dearly, but I can't help but have these "what ifs" and "the one that got away" thoughts. I don't want to completely cut Fred out of my life (to protect myself) because we are very close, but I fear developing further feelings for him.
In anyone able to provide any advice for how to handle this situation?
TL;DR: | Starting to have feelings (or maybe just sexual tension) for an old friend of 6 years, but currently in a 3 year relationship. Happy with current bf, but having a lot of "what if" thoughts. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by taking a urine analysis for a job
POST: happen more than 7 years ago.
I was 20 years old, a super pothead who was looking for work. I got hired at a trailer production plant. I used someone else's urine to pass the drug test. After a week of working there I got injured. I had to take another urine analysis in order to have the company pay for all my medicals bills.
After obtaining a sober friends urine, I went to the doctor they wanted me go to with a balloon filled with clean urine taped to my leg, tucked just behind my balls, to keep it at room temperature. I also cut my belt open to stash a razor blade.
Once I was in the bathroom, I undid my pants and wiggled the urine filled balloon up so I could cut it open with the razor blade. I squeezed the balloon so I could cut it open and drain the urine in to the UA cup. I did not squeeze hard enough and upon slicing into the balloon it burst open. Spraying urine all over the ceiling, down across a mirror and down all over the wall where the toilet was located. Along with my pants. I panicked but kept silent. Luckily there was enough urine in the balloon to fill the cup up to the minimal level line.
The bathroom had no toilet paper, no paper towels or anything else to clean up my mess. I just had to open the door and hand her a cup will urine. She looked inside the bathroom... she turned to me and gave me the worst look possible. As if she knew what I did and has to clean up this type of issue often. I could see the fury in her eyes.
I passed the drug test and kept working there for just under a year before I quit.
TL;DR: | Had balloon loaded with clean urine, cut it open and it sprayed all over a drug analysis bathroom. Assistant was displeased with how I left the bathroom, urine from ceiling to floor. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Buying My Mum Chocolates For Mothers Day [NSFW]
POST: A little bit of background information firstly – For mothers day this year, I bought my Mum a few boxes of chocolates on behalf of my brother, which have lasted quite a while, so much so that we still have chocolates left over.
Moving to present day, the girl that I'm seeing often visits to 'watch movies,' which we both joke is to relieve stress. Considering its currently exam time at uni I was in the need for some extra stress relief, so she came around a little bit earlier.
After about 5 minutes of –I have no idea what movie- there is some serious mushroom tip to mouth action occurring, when I start to hear the front door – mum coming home from work. We stay on high alert, just in case she decides to check up on us, however normally mum knows better than to come in if the door is closed.
*a knock* - my friend jumps off me, managing to avoid any damage and we play it cool as if nothing were happening. Fortunately mum took her time opening the door so we were safe from an awkward situation. After some small talk between mum and my friend, she leaves us alone, and I continue getting my stress relief.
*a knock* again, this time with much less time between the knock and the opening of the door. To paint the picture vividly, the door to my bedroom falls about 2 metres from the foot of my bed. This is where my mother stood, chocolates in hand, mid sentence wondering if we wanted any chocolates, while my friend was laying on top of me cock in mouth relieving the fuck out of my stress.
TL;DR: | – bought mum chocolates for mothers day, same chocolates she offered to my friend while she went to town on me, busted. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 M] recently got engaged to my gf [20 F] and now I'm starting to panic and overthink, mostly about sex.
POST: I tend to ruminate on things that cause stress in my life, so I'm not quite sure if this problem is ridiculous or not, but I feel that posting here might make me feel a bit better either way.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months and I recently proposed to her (I know, I definitely rushed into it). I thought my feelings were in order, but ever since, I've been having doubts.
I've only slept with 3 women in my life, including my fiance. Meanwhile, my fiance has slept with tons of guys. And hearing about all the things she's done, at a younger age than me, mind you, makes me think that maybe I should have slept around a lot more before going into something long-term (and potentially permanent) like this. I think the best way to describe how I feel is "sexually unfulfilled."
To make matters worse, my gf no longer seems to have the urge to experiment with me sexually. When we first got together, we would talk about all the things we wanted to do: things like bondage and threesomes, etc, and she was enthusiastic about it all. But when I've asked her about any of it recently, she's no longer interested.
It was hard to get her into a sex shop for even a simple sex toy, and a threesome now seems completely out of the question. She's done this stuff with other guys in the past though, so I'm confused as to why she doesn't want to experiment sexually with me as well.
So what's going on here? Am I overthinking all of this, or is this kind of thing something I should be truly concerned about. If not, is there a way to make these feelings go away?
Whatever the case, thanks for reading and for any response that might get posted.
TL;DR: | I rushed into proposing to my gf and now I'm starting to think I should have slept around more before going into something long-term. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf (26M) and I (26F) need to mutually call it quits on a 3yr relationship.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and I feel like we've exhausted the love we had. We still have a good time together, never fight, don't have anything against each other but its just not there anymore. Our lives are headed in pretty different directions that we can't mutually deal with. We have our own insecurities and never want to hurt each other (I know breakups will hurt regardless but we've already shed the tears over it). Its pretty obvious this isn't going to lead to a marriage/family life. I think I'm dealing with that whole love but not in love thing.
There's nothing wrong with our relationship, it's just not... THERE. We've discussed this lots and I'm just here seeking advice on how to ease out of it. The idea of just cutting it off sounds awful, we want to be in each others lives but we know if one moves on to another relationship its going to sting. We're in no rush. Should we stop seeing each other physically and just talk? Are there rules or guidelines for this crap??
TL;DR: | Mutually ending what was a great relationship because the love/future plans just aren't there. How can we make this transition smoothly? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[22M] gf [22F] of ~5 years wants to go on a graduation trip that we cannot afford, no way no how
POST: My girlfriend's going to graduate from university this year, she's going to law school in the fall. she claims she "NEEDS" to go on a trip this summer before she starts up law school.
A family member of mine is getting married this Summer, and wants to go to Florida with my gf and I for the honeymoon. This means we would have to pay for flights, hotels, food, any sort of spending there for things we like, they want to go on a 3 day cruise while we're there. They want to do this in the middle of summer so we'd both miss out on a week of work, as we're both students and don't have paid vacation.
This trip would cost 2.5k for each of us including the money we would be missing out on from losing a week of work. She wants to go to a different city for law school this coming year so we would be paying for individual apartments. This means that we'll both be paying for tuition, and for rent/utilities in seperate cities, adding another 2.5k expense into that just means that's 2.5k we won't have going into the school year, so it's another 2.5k we'll have to get from student loans.
My girlfriend has no money currently, we live in an apartment, and she has been without money for the past month and a half. I'm paying for everything(food, utilities, rent, upgrading her phone, dates), she owes me roughly 1.5k and that's before April's rent comes out, or the utilities for march. She still owes the school 1.5k for tuition, she's waiting for her student loan(which is 5k, most of it is going to be gone instantly) to come in to pay me and the school back.
She says she doesn't care if she goes into debt over this, and that she just HAS to do it.
But of course, if I spend 100$ on myself, while being the financially stable one, I'm the one who is irresponsible with my money.
Fuck.
TL;DR: | Gf is set on going on a trip that will put us in the hole 5k if we both go, 2.5k if she goes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to be funny whilst brushing my teeth
POST: Here's how my fuckup goes:
I was going to my bestfriend/crush's house after school and we decided to go back to mine so I could get changed. I got changed and I thought it would be hygenic to brush my teeth and clean up myself a little.
(My mum had cooked me sausages for dinner btw.)
After I start brushing I go into my room, (for being the 16 year old boy I am) I try and play a little joke on my friend, I go out into the kitchen, grab one of the cooked sausages and put it in my trousers. My crush looked at me, didn't know what the *fuck* I was doing, didn't think it was funny at all. I thought it was hilarious. At this time I was still brushing my teeth and had all the froth in my mouth. I started laughing so hard that I inhaled all the froth, I starting coughing up the toothpaste all along my hallway floor, bathroom and my sink.
My throat was burning for the next hour. I was so embarrassed, my crush tried to comfort me but she couldn't help but laugh. She told her Mum and is going to tell all her friends at school tomorrow. :(
TL;DR: | Tried to be funny with a sausage while brushing my teeth. Choked on the frothy toothpaste and coughed it all up and made a huge mess and a fool of my self. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Suddenly went from perfect to 'let's just be friends' with the girl (24/F) I'm dating
POST: Here is our story. We meet through a mutual friend. We have an amazing connection. I ask her out, we have two more absolutely amazing dates. On the second date I tell her I have to leave the country for two months for an internship, and she says she is willing to wait for me. We talk on the phone everyday for two months for at least an hour and everything was perfect. We connected, trusted each other, and couldn't wait to see each other again.
I came back last weekend and yesterday we finally saw each other. We did amazing things - saw a baseball game, saw beautiful sights of the city, and visited a museum. But for some reason the connection we used to have was not there. I'm here to ask you guys what happened? How can we connect so well the first 3 hangouts + 2 months of talking and then not feel that much when I see her. She felt it too and she just now called me asking me if I can give her space to just be friends for a while.
Also as a side note, a lot is happening in her life right now. It's overwhelming for her and she says she is emotionless at times. There's family drama and pressure on her to find a job. All this stress on her changes her and because of this she wasn't entirely herself yesterday on our date. She believes the connection should still be there but I'm really thinking it was because she wasn't herself. I also think she has some form of depression but she doesn't think so.
This Saturday we're going to meetup to see how things go. If it's the same dullness as yesterday then I think we're done.
What could it be /r/relationships? Could it be that we built up super high expectations during the two months I was away? We have both really invested a lot into this and I really need to know what to do here.
TL;DR: | Everything was perfect with a girl. Left the country for two months but it was still perfect. Came back and our first date was dull and now she thinks we should just be friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Quid pro quo and parenting: how do I handle it?
POST: Hi Everyone,
I'm starting to have some difficulty with my son's [7.5 years old] schooling and sports activities as he gets older. Like most parents, I want what's best for him and also want him to be treated fairly. However, I'm starting to find that parents who are the squeaky wheel or who do favors for the teacher or coaches are the ones who have children getting preferential treatment (not fair treatment).
My wife and I are both reserved people; not unfriendly, but not the most social either. We're also very busy and don't necessarily have the time to volunteer at all school events or help the coach during sports practice. I'm afraid this is starting to cause my son to be at a disadvantage. Clearly, the parents who kept score at baseball or were buddy-buddy with the coach had their children play more often than my son even though skill levels were nearly equal. During first grade, the kids who received the highest grades were the ones with parents at the school regularly. My son received no 4's (the scale is [1-4] with 4 being exceeding) on any of his grade cards even though he had an outstanding year and was recommended for gifted testing at the end of the year.
Like I said, I just want what's best for my son and am starting to feel like my busy schedule and reserved nature are starting to be a disadvantage to him. Has anyone experienced this before? How did you overcome it? For example, I know I need to communicate more often with his teacher when 2nd grade starts and try to be buddy-buddy with the coach when soccer season starts. I have to admit this leaves me feeling cheap mentally (why isn't his skill good enough to be treated fairly)?, but it's for the good. I volunteered at the school twice last year (having to take off work to do so), maybe I need to take off more days this year? Any other advice? Books?
Thanks for reading!
TL;DR: | feeling like my reserved nature and busy schedule are starting to be a disadvantage for my son since children who have parents that are actively (or over-actively) involved have an unfair advantage. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 F] regret throwing away the ring my boyfriend [27 M] gave me.
POST: I know what you're thinking, "you asked for it."
But let me explain.
My boyfriend gave me a diamond ring as an anniversary present. It was a promise ring, but I honestly felt like we were engaged.
Fast forward half a year or more, we get into a huge argument and the next thing I know, he's breaking up with me over the smallest thing. However, the fight escalates and I really felt like he was never going to talk to me again. You should've seen how angry he was; he hated me.
My heart was broken because the love of my life was leaving me. I threw away the ring because it broke my heart to see it.
So yeah, I guess that was my mistake. I should've waited to see if we still had a chance.
A week later we talk and we decide to fix things.
It's been a few months since then, but I still feel sad about not having my ring anymore. Every time I see a girl with a ring I get jealous and sad. I wish I had one because it felt nice to have something that symbolized our relationship. It was like reassurance that our relationship was actually going somewhere.
What do I do. How do I get over this.
TL;DR: | Thought we were broken up for good, threw away the promise ring he gave me, but now we're back together and I still feel sad over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My significant other got a job in another city and I'm planning to leave my job to go and be with him, but I have some concerns...
POST: I (20's F) currently work as an engineer for a large well known company. I've been at my job for 7 months now and I'm generally happy here. The job is OK and they pay me well but I am far from 'loving' it. My boyfriend of 5 years (20's M) whom I live with is also an engineer and has been looking for a job for the past 3 months. I tried to get him in with my company but despite being a large corporation, the location I work at is rather small and there simply have been no openings.
We talked a lot about it and decided it was okay for him to start applying to other cities within the same state. He got an offer in another city 3 hours away from where we currently live for 10% more than my salary. With my advice/approval, he accepted the offer. His start date isn't for another three months so I have some time to figure things out.
I love him 1000X more than my job and we do not want to be apart. I want to stress that we talked about this all along the way and I've always told him that if he can't find a job here, than I would move with him because I have a better chance at finding another job after being with my current company that is very well known and attractive on résumés.
We've vacationed in the city he will be working in and it's beautiful. I would be happy to live there. I do feel that I could get another job over there but I have some concerns:
--I might hate new job and then wind up resenting him for it
--Ive only been at current job for less than a year. Potential red flag to employers?
--How I will explain why I left my last job. I fear that saying I moved to be with my boyfriend makes me sound not serious about my career
If anyone has any experice with this- particularly women who've moved because of their significant others job- how did you deal with it, how did you explain it in interviews so it doesn't sound negative, etc...
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 5 years got a job across the state. I'm planning to leave my current job to be with him, but worried that quitting after being there less than a year will look bad to potential employers |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I [20/F] expect too much of my boyfriend [22M]?
POST: This is a question that's been going through my head for quite a while now.
His life is very busy. He goes to school, is in a band, has lots of friends and goes to his grandparents every day. Quite the opposite of me. My days consist of going to school, making homework, work and watch Netflix. I've been dealing with depression for quite a while now, he knows about this and is supportive.
The thing that bothers me is this. He's always telling me how much he loves me, misses me and that the only thing he wants is to be with me. Yet when he's not busy playing shows, going to school or whatever he decides to meet up with friends. He has done this a few times and whenever he can he decides to come over after at 10 or 11pm because he misses me. I don't want to be a second choice.
For example: yesterday. I decided not to ask him about meeting up. The days before that I'd asked him so much about meeting up I expected him to bring it up.
Him: Baaaaabe? May I ask you something?
Me: Of course.
Him: Would you mind if I met up with friends tonight?
Me: That'd be your decision, not mine.
Him: Would you be mad babe?
Me: No.
Him: Love you millions. What are you doing?
Me: :* Watching tv. You?
Him: Sitting on the couch. Thinking about you.
He always does this. He even send me this text later that night: ''Babe, please don't be sad or mad. You mean the world to me. I love you more than anything. Good night.''.
Am I being a paranoid girlfriend? I would like to add that we don't see each other everyday, he lives 10 minutes away by car but usually see eachother 3 times a week.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend rather spends his free night chilling with friends than with me. Don't know how I should feel about this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by breathing
POST: So to start off, I just starting swimming on my high school team a couple of months ago. I practice every day and I actually quite enjoy it.
So this is my first swim meet ever and coach has me doing the 200 free, 100 free and a 200 relay. Usually new people do 50 and 100 frees but the extra bump makes me feel really confident.
For the first fuck up. I left practice the day before the meet and I accidentally left my only suit in the locker room. Sadly it was gone by the next day, but I was saved by a fellow swimmer and his spare suit.
So I'm up on the block, nervous as hell, for my 200. I start and its going great, I'm in first and its looking good. But half way through without thinking I didn't turn my head to breath and I end up sucking a good amount of water into my throat. Coughing, tired, and confused I stand up and get disqualified right in front if my coach.
Thankfully, probably seeing how distressed I was, coach was forgiving and told me to brush it off and learn from my mistakes. Also the rest of my events went great, I placed 1st in my event in the 100 free.
TL;DR: | Half way through my 200, in my very first race ever, I forget to turn my head and inhale water resulting in me being disqualified. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What would you do if it were the middle of the night, you were alone, and were approached by a stranger?
POST: So I was on my way home tonight, it was about 3:30am, and I stopped for gas. I got out of my car and I see a man walking over to me. He's a tall black guy (I'm not racist, just painting the picture for you) probably late twenties wearing khakis and a windbreaker jacket. Now I'm white, 5' 5", twenty years old. We're alone at the gas station. He says, "Hey man you gotta help me," and goes on to explain he's stranded at the gas station and needs $9 for a cab. The way he was acting made him seem genuine so I said alright and gave him the money. Then he asked if I knew a cab number, which I didn't, so he went on his way. I pumped my gas and left...
The way I see it I didn't have much of a choice but to give him the money. There's two situations that stick out in my mind:
1) He really was stranded and needed help. It was late, he was polite, he seemed a little worried, and he was only asking for $9. Also the fact that he was wearing semi-nice clothes put me more at ease. With all of that I had no problem helping the guy out.
2) He just wanted the money. This is where the "if's" come in. What if he wouldn't take no for an answer? What if he had a weapon? Mind you I did have a knife on me, but he could have had a gun. And we were the only two people there, so I would have been on my own against a guy that's bigger than me.
All this in mind I figured I'd just give him the money. Again it was only $9, not anything to risk my safety over...
So what would you have done? Or have you ever been in a similar situation?
TL;DR: | It's the middle of the night, I'm alone and a guy comes up to me asking for cab money. I gave it to him. What would you have done? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my husband [29M] 2 years, I think he has no emotions.
POST: I think my husband might actually not feel emotions.
When we were dating, he loved to talk to me, in fact would ask me multiple times a day to call just to chat, he texted me 24/7, conversation was great, he was very attentive and always complimented me. Now, he hates me to even ask him a simple question. If I say something to him, he doesn't make eye contact, and rarely responds with more than two or three words, many times will just grunt yes or no.
When I ask him how he feels (I've tried wording it many different ways) he says "I don't know." If I ask how work was, I barely get one sentence out of him. He says he feels no emotions at all. He often smiles at very strange times, and I ask if he found something funny and he says no. He doesn't really have hobbies. He just browses the internet. Occasionally he will show me an article he finds on reddit or something. But he can't answer any questions about himself and doesn't want to know anything about me. He never initiates any type of interaction with me. I feel like he may as well not even be here.
He has been this way since we got married. I thought he was depressed but he's tried different types of medication and none has worked. Therapy doesn't work. He gave his therapist permission to talk to me and the therapist said he doesn't even talk when he goes. He basically says some form of "I don't know" to everything anyone asks him.
I could go on and on but I think you get the picture. Reddit, I am so sad and frustrated. Where did my husband go? It's like he doesn't exist anymore. How do I get him to come back?
TL;DR: | Husband expresses literally no emotions. He says he doesn't know how he feels, ever, never talks about anything. Wasn't always like this, tried all sorts of meds and therapy. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO is good friends with somebody who has strong feelings for her. I'm not sure how to feel about it. [M23], [F23]
POST: I'm in this situation, and I'm not honestly not sure how I should feel about it. She knows he has feelings for her, but she also really values their friendship. That doesn't bother me at all because I trust her. But on the other hand, I don't really know him that well and therefor don't necessarily trust him. How would you feel about this situation?
To add to this, she's been struggling when it comes to friends recently. A lot of her closer friends have moved away leaving her feeling more isolated than she used to be, so she's been valuing the friendships she has even more, recently. I guess that makes this a bit more complicated in my mind.
Also, I feel like if I admit to myself that this makes me uncomfortable, it seems like it would be because I don't trust her. But I know that's not the case. Which makes it hard for me to understand why I would be uncomfortable. Any insights would be really appreciated
TL;DR: | My SO is good friends with somebody who has strong feelings for her. I'm not sure how to feel about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: HELP REDDIT, I think I broke my pool!
POST: So a couple days ago some friends and I got really drunk and I decided to get creative and poured a bunch of dish soap into our jacuzzi. We had a drunken bubbly blast. After our fun I realized that these bubbles would not just go away by them selves and if my parents wake up to see the spa overflowing with bubbles I'd hear it. So my friends and I put our heads together. "what gets rid of bubbles.... Hmmm..." then a friend said "well you can use the oil from your forehead to get rid of beer foam!" AHA! GENIUS! so I ran into the pantry and poured myself a glass of vegetable oil and then poured it into the jacuzzi. It worked phenomenally in getting rid of the bubbles. The next morning the jacuzzi was full of oil globs floating on the surface. SO I used a dry beach towel and grazed it over the surface and got 75% of the oil out. 4 days later (today) my pool(which filters through spa) is dark, cloudy and looks like a swamp.
TL;DR: | I used dish soap in jacuzzi then used vegetable oil to get rid of the bubbles. Now my pool is green. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by walking pie all through a clothing store.
POST: So my friend had just moved house to a place quite far away and we were going over to theirs for a housewarming dinner/gathering thing. When we meet up generally the host cooks dinner and the guest makes a dessert, since we were going to theirs we made a Lemon Meringue pie. We were quite early so decided to stop off at a clothing store just down the road, I wanted to stay in the car because i was bored. So my parents were taking quite a while and i was starting to get restless, i thought i might listen to some music to pass the time, i turned on the radio and there was no good music on, but on the shelf of the drivers door there was a Rolling Stones CD which I wanted to listen to (I was in the passenger seat) I put the Pie (that was resting on my lap) on the ground while I reached over to grab the CD as i reached over i managed to put my entire foot inside the Pie which took all afternoon to make. I freaked out and stupidly ran into the shop to tell my mum, i then realised half way through the shop that i'd made a trail of Meringue all throughout the shop, instead of doing something smart i decided the best idea would be to hide in the shop, leaving a trail to where I was hiding, i then realised and ran out the shop leaving a trail straight to our car.
TL;DR: | accidentally put my foot in a Lemon meringue pie and walked it all throughout a clothing store leaving a trial to everywhere i went. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update to Me [36M] about to start a separation with my wife [29F] of almost 7 years. Should I just proceed with a divorce?
POST: Original post [here](
First, thanks to all who responded to my post yesterday. You really helped me gather the courage to stand up for myself and feel that I was doing what was right.
So, my wife and I spoke this morning, and I asked her if she wanted to move forward with divorce. She was a little dicey about it at first, but said that it sounded like that was the path we were on. I told her that if we started down that road that I wasn't turning back, which she understood.
So, we pretty much agreed to go ahead with divorce. We talked about some logistical things, and then I asked her what she was looking for in support, and she was surprisingly reasonable. She asked for help paying her cell phone bill (~$50/month) and car insurance (~$65/month) until she could get a better paying job (which she's currently looking for).
She wants the divorce to be amicable and without lawyers. If all that's going to cost me is $115/month for a while, that's something I'm willing to pay, particularly since neither of us would be paying a lawyer and it lets us part on much better terms.
She mentioned my 401(k), but I don't think we've been married long enough (less than 7 years) for that to be something she can go after, and she mentioned the house (which is under water). I think I got her off of both of those things, and if she doesn't lawyer up, I think I'm safe there.
I'm inclined to accept her offer to do this without lawyers. My one concern (and I plan on asking /r/legaladvice about this), is if she goes behind my back and does get a lawyer, will a judge give me a continuance in divorce proceedings so I can get representation as well?
TL;DR: | Going forward with what seems to be a fairly amicable divorce. She's not asking for much - how much am I risking if I don't lawyer up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M20] How do I break up with my [F20] Girlfriend of 2 1/2 years? I don't think it will work out...
POST: Hello guys
This is kind of a continuation from last week;
So yeah, about a week ago I posted that my girlfriend has been doing some really shady stuff; e.g.
- Hiding her texts from me all the time
- Going out with her new social group and NEVER inviting me
- New guy is in new social group, explains a lot, they hang out basically everywhere together
- She works in uni part time and studys as well, I work full time at an internship, and we both live together for atleast another 4 months.
This might be the hardest decision I have to make. I confessed to her how I feel on monday, she went home for a few days but I couldn't wait, I told her everything, how I've been feeling through text messages (I know right, I'm a pussy for not talking to her in person)
Anyway, she basically said that she's "sorry I feel that way" and it's "not what it seems", but didn't really tell me anything more than that... I mean, she didn't even reassure me much other than that, also an "I'm sorry" followed several hours later of not texting.
But man...I'm starting to get sick of her, she's out again with her new social group, out for dinner in fact. I get home from work and she's not here again...
Honestly I don't know if I can face breaking up with her...wether she's cheating or not..it's going to hurt a lot to have "the talk"
Every single one of you guys basically told me I should break up with her because she doesn't show me any respect...but I just don't know how to go about the thing...She's my first girlfriend so I literally have no clue how it's going to go down.
Any advice would be much appreciated guys. Thanks.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend might or might not be cheating on me. She's been showing me a lack of respect and things just ain't right anyway. Think I should end it. How do I go about this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Question about a hospital bill.
POST: I had surgery in a different state then I live in. I had a total colectomy (colon removal), rectal prolapse repair, and a pelvic hernia repair. I stayed in the hospital for a week after surgery. I was readmitted for another week four days after getting out. We went home 5 days later.
I was home for about a week when I started having severe pain around my butt. I had my mom look (I'm a female) and she saw what looked like cysts around my butthole. So we went to the er. The doctor said it looked like the start of an abscess forming and gave me antibiotics and refused to give me iv pain meds (the antibiotic was cephalexin*?).
Went home and kept having the pain but I had pain killers from my surgery so that helped. A week later we drove back to the state I had my surgery in for a follow up with my surgeon. The night before my appointment I started having the most excruciating pain I'd had so far. I couldn't even move my lower body without bawling. So off the er we go (we called my surgeons on-call doctor and they told us to go to the er).
We finally get back and the doctors look at it and say I have two abscesses. They do a ct scan and see fluid so they decide to admit me.
I'm there for a day and half and we decide that since the pain isn't near what it was, that it's ok for me to leave. They prescribed me two super strong antibiotics (flagyl and cipro).
My question is, should I try and get the first er bill dismissed since the doctor obviously didn't do anything to prevent the situation. Nor did he do a ct scan to see how progressed the abscess was. Has anyone else ever dismissed an er bill? How did it turn out?
Thanks in advance for any advice!
TL;DR: | went to er for a problem. Gave me a weak antibiotic & sent me home. Week later same pain. Went to another er and was admitted and given strong antibiotics. Can I dismiss first er bill? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by asking a girl out
POST: Backstory - So I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now, and she just recently started showing signs of affection. She's been hugging me more and coming closer to me. I'd go do something and separate from the group of friends that I hang out with and she'd join me willingly. She'd smile at me and talk to me any chance she could. She made it pretty clear that she felt something for me, or so I thought. So finally yesterday I told myself that I'd just go up to her and kiss her. I was so extremely nervous. I had the perfect opportunity to do it, and I chickened out. Completely. I hated myself incredibly for the rest of the day. I woke up the next morning so determined to do what I was planning the previous day. I wasn't even nervous. I had it all layed out perfectly. The day goes by and by the end of it, I see her talking with some friends. It's now or never. I walk up to her and freeze up. Every drop of confidence fled my body so instantaneously fast, it was unbelievable. I say, "[Jane], I like you, will you be my girlfriend?" It was the most ridiculous thing that had ever left my mature mouth. Her friends start laughing and she turns as red as a tomato and just replies, "I don't know, I need to think about it," which pretty much translates to a no. I felt like such an idiot. So stupid. I'm now seen as the weird ass kid by every person at my school. The weird, awkward, fuck up kid. This is the third time in a row that something of this sort. I get led on way too easily.
TL;DR: | I thought a girl liked me, I went for it, she declined, and now I appear as the totally weird kid. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (26m) made a huge mistake. Am I screwed?
POST: So, about a year and a half ago, everything in my life was amazing. I was embarking on a new career and had just met the girl of my dreams. She was clever, into all the same stuff as me, held the same views as me, and was a total knockout! Things went great and we moved in together pretty quickly (after a few months).
It wasn't the pressure cooker environment I was expecting it to be, or at least I didn't realise it was. We shared the house with several other folk, which wasn't easy for a new couple,but we supported each other constantly and made a great team through it.
Anyway, around the turn of the year, work really ramped up the pressure and something happened in the relationship which caused some friction (but nothing which would have spelt unavoidable doom). Everything seemed to start going downhill, at work and at home. I was constantly miserable, despite the efforts of my then girlfriend.
I was shortly thereafter diagnosed with depression/mild bipolar (my periods of mania and depression were less pronounced and didn't last as long as severe cases). Anyway. This put the relationship through the ringer and I ended it. I broke her heart.
I refused meds and instead opted for my work counsellor, and it's helped a lot (maybe meds would have stabilised things quicker and saved the relationship, which sucks) . That coupled with a holiday and being alone has really helped me put things into perspective.
Perspective being, I think I fucked up massively. I don't expect that I can get her back, nor should I be able to really. We've been separated for 3 months or so now and I'm pretty sure she's beyond the hatred part and is fully moved on. It's just hard realising things much later.
Don't really know what I'm expecting the beautiful community of reddit to say apart from "yeah dude, you fucked up. Forget it and move on!"
But hey, I might find some solace in the wisdom of others!
TL;DR: | Depression/bipolar/stress made me fuck up a relationship. Am I doomed to be glum about it forever? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex keeps wanting to hang out as friends, but I want to be more
POST: I'm a 24 male and she is a 21 female. We met and started dating ~5 years ago. We dated for 3 years, took ~9 months off, dated again for ~6 months and then broke up again, ~6 months ago. The times we broke up it was because she wasn't excited about the relationship anymore. After a little time, she calls me up to hang out and be good friends. We'll end up spending a few days where we hang out most of the day, but then I tell her I can't handle it or just start ignoring her. After a little time, it starts over again.
She knows that I still have feelings for her, because I've expressed that to her. I'm tired of hanging out and just being he friend because I feel a weight on my chest when we are together, knowing that we're not more. When we are together she will send suggestive signals such as putting her head on my shoulder or running her hand across my back when she walks by, but will pull away if I try to escalate. I suspect she misses the comfort I brought her and my company, but I miss being able to call her mine. How can I show her that the things she is getting now (comfort/a partner) are what a long-term relationship seems to turn into after the initial butterflies go away? Or, how do I respond when she pings me to hang out?
TL;DR: | Ex wants to be close friends, but I want to be more. Should I cut it off with finality or are there other options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22 M] Just got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years an hour ago. What are some good post-breakup tips?
POST: We've been dating for about 4 years. I took today(monday) off work to hang out with her because we've both been pretty busy lately and bought tickets to a museum. Instead she came to my house and we went for a walk for about 30mins. She told me that she wanted to break up mostly because of our "communication" issues. We have both been really busy for the past 4 months with school and work. But we had a talk about our communication issues about a month ago and I've been trying really hard to improve it. She told me today that she had given up trying to communicate for awhile. So that really sucked.
For many reasons I think that it is at least partly because she's not that into me. I've had a hard time trusting her completely. Now I'm on reddit because its 1pm and all my friends can't hangout until tonight.
So i'm home and extra alone.
I cried for a few minutes but now I'm feeling fine. I don't think it's quite set in yet. Shes basically my first longterm girlfriend.
TL;DR: | So I'm asking, while I still feel numb, what are some good tips to keep yourself healthy and sane post breakup? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He Compared it to birthdays when asking about marriage. Whaaat? - Me 34/F with my S/O 39/M Together 9 Months
POST: When me and my S/O were dating we talked about marriage, having kids, etc. We both want them. And as things progressed, we eventually moved in together.
I've asked here and there over time about when he thinks the time is right for engagement/marriage. He always says he wants things more stable, meaning financially. So far what I got out of him is within two years.
I kinda sorta proposed to him the other day and he said, 'someday' and 'eventually'. Grrrrr.
Then he said something weird the other day that I don't get. When I asked him how he knows he wants to marry me, timelines, etc, he said that me asking him was like someone telling him what they wanted for an upcoming birthday.
What exactly is that supposed to mean??
TL;DR: | he said that me asking him about our marriage/engagement timeline was like someone telling him what they wanted for an upcoming birthday. What does it mean? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [23m] lied to me [22f], and, because of my past issues, I don't know if I can trust him anymore. Should I stick it out?
POST: So my boyfriend [23] and I [22] have been together for over a year now. Things have been wonderful; he's supported me, been understanding about my emotional issues (of which there are plenty, mostly relating to self esteem and trust because of being cheated on multiple times before), and really wants to stick this out with me. He graduated college last May, and is going to grad school in Chicago in September; I just found out I got a job in Chicago also, and plan on moving in with him.
I was visiting him over my spring break, and while he had his phone out, I noticed he had a bunch of texts from his ex. This I really don't care about--we've talked about keeping up contact with exes (I still talk to mine), and we've always just been open and honest about it.
A days or so later, though, he had his phone out again, and I saw the entire message thread with her was deleted. This felt wrong and I got that awful gut feeling in my stomach. I asked him about it shortly thereafter, and he insisted that he hadn't talked to her at all, that there were no texts, and that he never sees her.
Obviously, I knew what I had seen and knew he was lying. I confronted him about it a few days later, and he confessed that he had lied because he was so worried that I would make a big deal out of it, that he had nothing to hide, he just made a dumb mistake while trying to keep me happy and not worried.
So. What do I do? Am I supposed to trust his word now? My own feelings on this are horribly colored, because I've been lied to and cheated on so often in the past; I really want to believe him, but I don't know that lying about big things can really ever be a one-time thing.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend lied to me and I caught him in it. I confronted him and he apologized and said he'd never do it again. Should I forgive him and move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why is my friend not showing the interest she once did in me?
POST: K Reddit I'm in a bit of a pickle..
So I have two really close friends, both girls (I'm not gay). I happen to be kinda in love with girl #1, girl #2 I just see as a friend but we're really close, too. Well, girl #1 doesn't exactly feel the same about me.. she really likes me as a friend a lot just not in that way. She thinks I'm attractive but it's just one of those things where you don't have feelings for them.
That's not my initial problem, the problem is girl #1 takes me for granted a lot and really just doesn't appreciate the things I do for her. Yeah, she says 'thank you' for everything but it's just not like it used to; almost as though she's lost interest in me, but not, because she wants to spend time with me.
We're together every day and she wants to be with me every day but I don't feel important to her anymore so why would I want to be with her? We have a new friend that hangs out with us a lot now and he's a really cool guy, she has told me and friend #2 that she has absolutely no interest in him romantically what-so-ever; but yet she will give him 10x the attention she'll give me now.
I guess my question is: why do you guys think she'll want me around, but not enough to make me feel important to her? Also, is there any way of gaining that ground that I once had where she appreciated me so much?
Any thoughts, suggestions, or questions are welcomed.
(I'm not using my real account)
TL;DR: | I'm a guy and my best friend happens to be a girl, she no longer shows as much interest in me but yet she wants to always be with me. Wat do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I am deeply interested and concerned with others' styles of living. What are your philosophies and personal beliefs?
POST: I hope not to be overly invasive or ignite a large argument with this question, but the primary reason I ask is because of my belief that community should be honest and cooperative in order to progress. There's a lot of distrust in society that exists for good reason, but it's one of my intentions to dissipate fear and anxiety on some level.
In regards to my own beliefs, the progression of humanity (its preservation, safety, and health) is foremost. I have great hopes in people because although there are tragic things that occur everyday (we see many make the front page), I choose to see more good and respect for one another than the tragedies that occur. It's a silly theory, but my observations of the world conclude that because we attempt to create longer and stronger living generations, it's just a matter of time before we skip to technological advances of preserving and improving ourselves. (Tech. singularity, very exciting in my opinion)
I would not be lying if I said I believed giving up on people is weak for the average person, but I understand the reasonable distinctions between people who need help and those who are bitter or angry or lost. Like many people on here, I've had my share of less fortunate experiences yet I've held my head high because the possibilities of tomorrow's joy keeps me on edge. I try not to think selfishly as much as it is inevitable.
I have named things such as patriotism, ethnicity, culture, tradition, etc. as pseudo-titular identifiers (no disrespect) because I believe they are not quite components people should be concerned about. With all honesty, I believe the only thing worth merit concerning these sorts of things are race due to several genetic occurrences that are rather important medically-speaking.
Also, I believe there are "absolutes" in the assumptions or perceived beliefs of people that can be identified through debate. It's usually those differences I find that people create their decisions upon and reach a consensus of differences. It has helped me and my friends develop a very close relationship and understanding of each others' values.
TL;DR: | I believe we should all look forward to becoming assimilated, and I love you all for making life interesting. Let's have a good debate on the definitions of justice, equality, and morality using the Socratic method. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my friend [26 M] not responding or acknowledging my 'wish you all the best' message.
POST: Back story, this guy and I at some point had feelings for each other but it didn't work out, but it seemed like we were cool after. We met at work but we no longer work there. It's been a while since we talked. Now we're both moving on to different career paths out of the city to different parts of the world. We were messaging back and forth and my last message was about wishing him well in all that he does. I do/did have feelings for him but I know now there is no chance of it happening.
I don't expect to probably see him ever again and so I wished him good luck with everything and he hasn't responded or acknowledged it. Been about 5 days. He has been online so it's not like he was busy. I wonder if he hates me?
TL;DR: | Guy isn't answering or acknowledged my "wish you all the best" message. I would at least expect him to say it back even if he doesn't mean it. What does this mean? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Its over...but I have to see him tomorrow and I feel weak.
POST: My Boyfriend (31) and I (28) have been together 6 years and the last year we have grown apart and I have been taken for granted. He doesn't treat me how I want to be treated and I feel that he is different now, past year or so. I want him to change back and be happy again but I know that is stupid. Despite this I still hope that is what will happen. Our lease is up in 3 days (Nov. 1st) and right now I have plans to move out on that day, but we said we would talk about it before that (tuesday). When we meet tomorrow we are either going to stay together or finalize our breakup. I want to be with him more than anything, but I'm afraid that things will be the same way they were this last year. I want him to change, but he can't right? I need to move out and work on myself right? Or is there hope?!
TL;DR: | I have to face my soon to be ex-tomorrow and I feel weak, is there hope he can change or should we just stay broken up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: long distance relationships are harder with someone that doesn't like certain things
POST: I (21m) and my gf (26f) have been in a long term relationship for almost almost a year now, and when i say long i mean almost other side of the world long (I'm in seattle and she is in Belgium) we found a way to make it work, making sure are open to issues and eben talking about visiting each other one day.
But i have a small issue that i don't feel right to tell her. When i was young i had to the doctor for some extremely bad acne at such young age. The doctors found that I'm producing more hormone then i should and one affect this has on me is that i do get turned on and want sex more often. Luckily i know how to control it so i don't get crazy with it.
Anyways we have this relationship and i told her about it and she said she understood and is fine with it.... But then she told me she doesn't like anything to do with that stuff, she says she doesn't find sex that appealing and that she doesn't even masturbate cause it feels weird. I'm OK with this and i understand its her choice but my hormones are still there and i often want to ask her if she can help but then i feel guilty and end up not asking.
I would never cheat on her and i do everything i can but I'm scared that if do meet and ever plan on living together this can ruin it because then we wont be able ignore it.
TL;DR: | i have condition that makes me horny more often, gf doesn't like to think about that kind of stuff that often and I'm scared that when we meet it can ruin things. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/m] with [24/w]. Should I tell her about a therapy I'm about to start? Very early into a relationship.
POST: Hello Relationship_Advice,
I have been hitting it off with this girl very great. 2 Month in and I guess if its going on like this we are a couple very soon.
I have a therapy-consulting session in 2 month. I dont know what I can expect, I have problems that have to be dealt with that have not been exposed to my potential girlfriend. Its about my attention span, trust issues,... it is definitely something I aimed for to fix because, in the past, it affected my relationships negatively.
Now I am unsure if I should tell her about it (well, I have to do it sometime!) or more important: when? I dont feel like we are ready to share such things already and I am scared that she might lose interest because she gets weirded out by the timing. too soon, too late,... if you were her, would you want to know it, if yes, when? how important is something like this?
Thank you in advance.
TL;DR: | got to know a girl 2 month ago, have been hitting it of great. unsure about when to tell her about a therapy im about to start. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [16/m], had several sexual encounters with my best friend [16/m], yet to speak about it.
POST: For obvious reasons this is on a throwaway account as I'm not really comfortable speaking about this, but I'm going to get rid of all of that and just say it as it is really.
This way seem like somewhat of a strange post, but honestly I'm not sure how to go about this right now. I am 16/m, and the friend who this is about is my best friend, and the same age/sex.
Now, from a very early age, I've always known I was gay (Or at least Bi-sexual, some interest in certain females but no encounters yet). Me and my best friend pretty frequently stay over one another's, get stoned/drunk and sleep in the same bed. Now over the past few times this has happened, things have began to get sexual; I've had sex with him, given and received a blowjob that all started with mutual masturbation.
Before, I just put it down to intoxication and that he simply didn't really remember/want to remember, as we have never spoken of any of this to each other, pretending it has never happened. But recently, we were doing the same thing except sober, and the night headed in the exact same way.
He has a girlfriend, which is why I'm quite uncomfortable with it. But I really don't know what to do about this. As I've said we've never spoken of it, and pretend it hasn't happened. Should I approach him? I can't just keep doing this and waking up the next morning as if it was all a dream. Of course I want it to happen, and I feel like approaching him will make it really awkward and nothing would ever happen (Even as friends).
Any help would really be appreciated, I'm stuck on this and as you can tell it's quite uncomfortable to even type.
TL;DR: | Had sexual encounters with male best friend, never spoken of it to each other and pretend it has never happened, but it frequently does. He has a girlfriend, should I try and speak to him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by whispering to my girlfriend that everything would be alright and giving her a kiss, while she was having a bad dream and murmuring in her sleep.
POST: It turns out my girlfriend was having a bad dream, that we were in Australia and I had lost my wallet, my passport, my phone and everything from my luggage at a restaurant. On top of that I had accidentally taken a lady's bag while we where leaving, instead of my own.
She was freaking out in her dream about it, which was why I woke up to her rolling around, cold sweating a little and murmuring no's and such.
Well naturally, being the good boyfriend, I whispered in her ear "everything will be alright", gave her a squeeze and pulled myself a little closer. Then went back to sleep... I should not have done that.
She did not calm down, instead she awoke about 20 minutes after with a shock, because her bad dream was spinning way too far out of control at that point. It turns out that after I had lost all my possessions and accidentally stolen another bag in her dream, I had just said to her that "everything would be alright" and refused to fix the situation!! I just didn't care!
So while I was now the calmest guy in her dream after stranding myself in Australia, she was left with the panic of the situation! The bag I had taken began to ring, and in her dream we where now being tracked for having stolen it. And I still didn't care! Everything was boiling over and when it became to much, she was forced to wake up.
I also opened my eyes when she woke up from the shock, so she started telling me about the dream. We both laughed about it when we pieced it together, even though she couldn't shake off the emotions for a while. I learned something great from it though.
TL;DR: | If your SO is having a nightmare NEVER whisper "everything will be alright". Always whisper "I will fix this.". Lesson learned. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M]e and my girlfriend had a threesome with our male best friend, we are all 20, I am having mixed emotions, did we ruin our relationship, or will the emotions pass in time?
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years, having been friends for 6. We have had a very serious relationship for the time we have been dating.
We met this guy about a year ago, and he became really good friends with us. He is one my my best friends and a really good friend to my girlfriend as well.
She has always talked to me about her friendship with him, scared that I would be hurt by it, and asks me if its OK for her to be friends with him.
I told her its fine, as long as she is completely open about what they talk about and do to me. Which both of them have been good with (and I tell her what me and him talk about too).
Now, I would consider myself bisexual, so I also can't help but have a slight sexual attraction to the friend. So when my girlfriend in the past (even before this friend) brought up fantasizing about a threesome or foursome I told her I would probably go for it.
Well the other night the three of us were drinking and the threesome happened. The friend isn't bi so he isn't really into doing anything with me, so it was my girlfriend pleasuring both of us.
After this has happened, we have all been fine and still talking to each other.
But the last couple days I have had strange emotions that I don't even know what they are, I just feel really shitty. I don't know if its because I didn't really get any sexual benefit from it, whether I'm scared about what's going to happen in the future or what.
I explained it to my girlfriend, and she said if its because your scared I don't love you I still do, and if you don't want it to ever happen again I'm fine with it.
Our relationship has been the same since, but I still feel shitty about it, but don't know what it is exactly.
Any ideas? Did we ruin things?
TL;DR: | Me and girlfriend had a MMF three way with a good friend, we are all 20, everyone is fine with it, but I just feel shitty about it and don't know why |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I (~24/f) be concerned that my bf's (25/m) female friends often fall for him and tell him even though he is taken?
POST: I feel like multiple of his female friends have confessed feelings to him despite him making it clear he has a gf (me) and I'm starting to wonder if his judgment in friends is even that good. First girl was sending him lots of (innocent) photos throughout the day and he said they "practiced Spanish" together. Then she wrote him a message about how good it makes her feel to talk to him and how she misses the old days when they would hang out and the feeling he gives her she just can't explain (okay...). He told me about it and I said he should reply however he feels comfortable.
Just last night one of his other friends (long distance) texted him while drunk about how much she likes him and wants him (14 texts) and tried to call him twice. He was asleep.
On another occasion, my bf and I took a break because we moved apart very far away and weren't sure if we should stick through it. After just 3 days he messaged his ex and they went out for drinks, ended up making out and he said he would've had sex but she was on her period (o.O). We ended up back together but it was still a bit weird since he has never even mentioned her but said they are still "friends" and decided they would only ever be friends henceforth.
I trust him. He is also VERY handsome and nice, tall, good shape etc. so I can see why other girls want him. I guess there's not much to say or do and it's not a big deal but is he just oblivious to the fact that lots of his female friends probably like him?
TL;DR: | bf's female friends often fall for him and mention it despite knowing he has a gf (me). is he oblivious or does he just have poor judgment in friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] have to present a 12 minute group [18'ish M] [20's M] presentation for university but group is refusing to put in work and refusing to prepare
POST: So I'm currently a university student and we've been asked to submit a group presentation. Most groups are only groups of 2 but my tutor asked if we would take the odd person out. I agreed because I thought it'd increase the chances of having a productive group member but I was wrong it's just made it even more draining to organise meet ups.
So I've organised four different times at this point and both of them have bailed twice and one of two have bailed the other two times. So at this point we haven't done a full group get together to discuss the project. I'm finding this to be very stressful because I have 4 other assignments due in the next week (This one is due in 5 days) and I don't think I can compile a 15 minute presentation on my own with that much work on the side.
I've also asked both of them to research an aspect of the project so we can all be more informed when we do discuss it. I gave the easier components to them in hopes that they'd do it but nope I was the only one to do it. I don't know how they're going to be able to get through a 15 minute presentation if I'm not the only one presenting. Also we have 5 minutes of questioning from our tutor after the presentation that we need to get through which at this rate they don't understand the basic concepts we've covered so far so I don't understand how they'll get through that either.
What would your advice be to deal with this?
TL;DR: | Group members are being fairly uncooperative and bailing on group meet up times consistently, they're also not doing any research to contribute to the 15 minute presentation + 5 minute question time that we'll have to go through. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making a poor music choice.
POST: Something something actually two years ago whatever.
I went to a fairly well-known week-long festival in the desert and the time had come to head back home (some 15 hours of driving total). After stopping for food at about 5 am along with another car, the folks in my car elected to stay in town to sleep, but the other driver decided to press through his sleepiness and finish the drive right then. (Sidebar -- never ever ever drive when you're sleepy. Seriously.)
So we part ways and my passengers and I sleep. Lo and behold, upon waking up, there's a message on one of my passengers' phone saying that the other car had crashed. They all survived, but woke up with somewhat less intestine.
Anyhow, on the way to the hospital to see them, I was looking for some music to play. I decide upon the album Black Clouds And Silver Linings by Dream Theater (not their best by any means, but when you have a musical impulse, you follow it, dammit). What I had neglected to remember was that the first track on this album is a 16-minute song about a car crash. Needless to say, upon recognizing this, my friend who was in my car became (very rightfully) upset with me. I felt like a complete idiot for the entire drive back and then some.
TL;DR: | Friends got into a car crash; proceeded to play a song about a car crash on the ride to see them in the hospital. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (Update 2) Both 21 F, am I being used for emotional support/ego boost or is it just my paranoia?
POST: Hey Reddit, my last post didn't get much attention but I figured I should update, as I've posted here before and I took your advice, as much as it hurt me to do. You really did set me straight and I realized that I was being kind of a shitty person. Here are the links to the previous posts:
[First post](
TL;DR: | Took Reddit's advice to heart and cut my ex out of my life, for my sake. There's this event that I'd love to attend and she'll be there and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (26f) case of the disappearing housemate (25f).
POST: So I've just realised my housemate hasn't spent a single night in my house In the past 7 days, and it's kind of pissed me off and just made me feel lonely.
She recently started seeing this guy a month ago and it's gotten pretty serious fairly quickly. She's telling me she is even spending time at his apartment when he isn't there and waiting for him to come home. I think she's been to our house about twice this past week to collect things and that's it!!
This may sound like a pretty sweet deal as it means I pay half the rent but get all the space! However the reason I got a housemate was for company, not financial reasons and it wasn't like this before she got a boyfriend. Plus I'm maintaining the housework by myself right now.
I really love this house and I want to stay here- but at the same time I feel I may have to move out to a more sociable house as this is clearly something I'm after. If this pattern is going to continue whilst she is with her boyfriend it's not what I want.
I'm getting pretty fed up of nights in by myself and keeping up with housework and garden maintenance alone. I've been keeping myself busy and having friends over but I want to say something- how?
TL;DR: | housemate barely home, spends lot of time at boyfriends and I'd like some company and a friend to live with. How to discuss this with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Ok, finally deciding to drop bank of america. I cannot decide who to choose to open a new joint account with.
POST: Looking around for reviews of banks online are too mixed. It is always "I LOVE THIS BANK" or "I HATE THIS BANK". So I want to hear some good and bad on banks that you have experienced.
I am not interested in "B of A is the devil because of this or that". I am interested in "B of A has screwed me over for no reason, OtherBank is a much better choice."
I need a bank that is nationwide, I travel a bit and tend to move every few years or so. Right now I am only looking at Chase and Wells Fargo, both of which seem good and bad in many ways.
TL;DR: | My fiance and I are making a joint count. I have B of A and want to drop their corrupt asses. What makes your bank so cool? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: 14/f here. Is there anything really wrong with being very sexually active at my age?
POST: Here's some background and then I'd love to get some women's take on this. I feel like I'm making a big decision and need some help.
Short story is, I've always been kind of a loner and found it hard to make friends. I think I'm a decent person but breaking the ice is hard for me. I was determined to do something about it and I saw all the popular girls had something in common. They all dressed a certain way (trendy, revealing clothes) and acted a certain way (flirty, sexual).
Up to recently I had never done more sexually than a few kisses. I didn't really have any hangups about anything, it just never happened. And my clothes were all really boring and big and not flattering.
So I spent a bunch of money on new clothes and started acting all flirty like other girls do and everything seemed to change. People treated me better, talked to me, everything turned around almost instantly. I got invited to parties and guys started paying lots of attention to me. Everything is great but it just took off a little fast. In the last few months, I've gone from total virgin to sex with 3 guys, plus some blowjobs and some more minor stuff (texted some sexy clothed pics, kissed some girls at a party, some handjobs, and some making out)
It's been a lot of fun and I'm staying safe and life is great at school now, but my mother is getting really worried about me. She sees how I dress and she knows about at least one time I had sex (she found the condom in my room. oops.) and knows Im spending more time with guys. She wants me to stop and not have sex till I'm 18 but honestly, that's never going to happen. She says I'm going to ruin my life and catch every disease and never learn how to love anyone but I think that's all crazy. Personally I dont see any reason to stop now. My dad is ok with it and says it's all pretty normal stuff for a girl my age to be doing but my mom is losing it.
So
TL;DR: | I want your help. Is being sexually active and even having sex with guys I'm not dating really going to mess me up somehow? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Dating] I (26m) with gf (27f), money issues reason to end?
POST: My parents fought over money. I don't wanna turn In to them. I don't make a ton of money. My gf just lost her job and got a new one but it pays about a third less.
Long story short, started dating in July, spent about 4 weekends in a row at her place, she told me not to worry about rent since I helped with groceries, internet, parking and drinks out. I was living with my parents, close to having my student loans and car paid off (about 4 months away) but I'm pretty strapped/budgeted for what I earn.
She knows I have bills. We've talked about what I owe, what she owes etc. Her last check was "free" meaning it wasnt for rent, well after 3 days it was gone and she apologized for it and said "I'm gonna need help with rent"
If I just flat out can't afford to help much more (I have about 40 bucks a check I get to spend on me) and she is essentially counting on me for covering her mistake of blowing a whole paycheck... to me this is seeming like a red flag and despite loving her, I wonder if digging myself into financial ruin is worth the risk of staying with her.
There's a Two Gallants song I love where he says "boy you have my heart, you know you always will, but love don't pay the bills."
TL;DR: | originally not counted on for rent, living together 4 months, she misspent a check and now is asking for money I can't really afford (other bills she knew about)... reason for concern? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27/f] haven't been in a "real" relationship, really, ever. And I still live at home. I'm feeling very impatient with myself, and starting to feel like it's too late to have a normal life.
POST: Long story short, I've had crippling anxiety and other mental health issues since I can remember. So many things irritated me as a child, I was paranoid and had strange thoughts, and could not attend school without consistently missing 15-20 days per year. I am better now, finally holding a good job, but I have no friends and the only "real" relationship I've ever had was long-distance. I've never really dated anyone in the normal sense.
Now that I'm 27, still at home, and single, I'm starting to feel like this is it. I will be moving in the next few months, but I am terrified of being around new people. I feel like I'm sinking, and can no longer partake in my laziest interests (video games, reading).
I've been to several therapists, and taken medication. Medication made things worse (I tried many different things and I'm done abusing my body with chemicals), and I never stuck with therapy for longer than 3 months.
What can I do to get my life started? I know I'm majorly depressed, but I'm not sure of the first step I need to take. I feel like a husk of a person.
TL;DR: | 27/f, still at home, history of mental illness, not sure where to start here. I want to know how to heal and possibly make some friends and have normal relationships. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Broke up again with my(19) on-and-off BF(21) of 16 months. Should I finalize it this time?
POST: I met this guy on the summer of 2012. He's so effeminate that I actually thought that he was gay. Being slightly androphobic, the thought of him being gay helped me loosen up. Fast forward to a couple of months, he confessed his feelings to me. I was reluctant since I was really naive and barely knows anything about that subject. I was a wild child. I was raised with two older brothers so I got accustomed being tomboyish and being competent in manly stuffs (eating, drinking, burping, wrestling, etc...) But he patiently stayed by my side. After months of courting, I finally realized that I was also in love with him. But I denied it. I don't want to get hurt. After another number of months, he's still there. That made me see that I can truly trust this guy.
He taught me a lot of life's lessons and made me feel alive. Can you remember your first kiss? I can still remember mine every time I close my eyes and imagine it. The moment his lips touched mine, my heart jolted, my head felt light and body is as if floating, and I forgot everything but him and the kiss we were sharing.
But then I got high, and then sad, and things fell apart.
Distance must have been one of the factors. Another is the lack of communication.
We became dysfunctional to the point of me dragging him down.
We mutually broke up. But this time, I think we shouldn't be together again. I doing him a favor. If I'm with him, he'll just lose sight of his priorities again and give all of his attention to me. Don't get me wrong. I love him more than anything else. That's why I'm thinking of never seeing him again. I want him to grow up. It is for his good.
True love is often unreciprocated, right? Because if you love someone, you do things for his/her happiness and welfare and not for him/her to return your love. I'm not a monster for not feeling any remorse, 'am I? I just grew up, right?
TL;DR: | Broke up with my BF of over a year without and is not returning any forms of contact because I want him to grow up. 'm I a prick? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Ohio, USA] Question on understanding the Ohio Revised Code: Motorized Bicycles(moped).
POST: The code in question is [4511.521 Division (A)(1)](
>(A) No person shall operate a motorized bicycle upon a highway or any public or private property used by the public for purposes of vehicular travel or parking, unless all of the following conditions are met:
>(1) The person is fourteen or fifteen years of age and holds a valid probationary motorized bicycle license issued after the person has passed the test provided for in this section, or the person is sixteen years of age or older and holds either a valid commercial driver's license issued under Chapter 4506. or a driver's license issued under Chapter 4507. of the Revised Code or a valid motorized bicycle license issued after the person has passed the test provided for in this section, except that if a person is sixteen years of age, has a valid probationary motorized bicycle license and desires a motorized bicycle license, the person is not required to comply with the testing requirements provided for in this section;
The rest of this code is quite straightforward, however this is a bit ambiguous. It is clear to me if you are 14 or 15 or do not have a valid license already, you must get a probationary license, then pass a test for the license, and you're good to go. Is it also saying that having a commercial or normal drivers license are fine and do not need to get some form of further licensing or rating to drive a motorized bicycle?
TL;DR: | (etiiarsp) If I already have a valid license in Ohio, do I need to get a motorized bicycle license? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24F) am very stressed with school/work/home. Bf (24M) asked me to stop mentioning it bcuz it makes him feel bad. Advice?
POST: I'm currently in a full time, intense college nursing program whilst working 19 hours a week, and I'm not gonna lie, with college work on top of that, it's hectic. My bf of 3 yrs works part time too, usually less hours than me, so has a lot of free time.
We've had some arguments lately relating to things that need to be done around the house and how time is spent, and it's really starting to grate on me.
He has been very passive aggressive with me recently to remind me to do things. We both take on an equal amount of housework, but if I haven't done something reasonably minor due to being busy, I'll be sure to get a remark about it.
I've spoken to him about how busy and overwhelmed I am and that I'm aware I'm missing things, usually just little things like not putting something back where it came from. He has said that it makes him feel guilty that I'm jealous of his free time but that it's my fault because I chose to do this course and that I should accept that and that I can't complain. My job can also be stressful, but he looks down on it because it's not manual work like his; it can't be as stressful.
If I bring up at all that I'm feeling a busy or stressed, he ends up throwing more things at me that I'm doing wrong. I've started lying to him about everything being fine because him getting mad at me for being stressed makes me more stressed in the end. He likes to bring them up when I have to leave the house or go to sleep too, so I almost feel like he wants me to get more overwhelmed.
I don't know. I just wanted some advice. Thanks for the rant guys x
TL;DR: | bf doesn't understand how busy and stressed I am and gets annoyed when I don't get round to doing minor house things. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: How do I get my adopted kittens to love me?
POST: [Original post](
Basically, my girlfriend and I have had these two adopted kittens for a little over a month now. In the first two weeks we got them, they were both kept in the restroom to transition them into living with us.
To make sure we weren't crippling their growth however, we moved their bed and all other cat like appliances into separate rooms of the house and have opted to lock them out of the restroom completely. This didn't seem to be a problem though because they continually run around the apartment playing with one another.
In the month that we've had them now, we have all bonded with each of them equally, making sure to foster them with affection and love. They have even responded in some instance either by pushingbpack against our hand when petted, purring loudly, letting us rub our nose against them, or cuddling next to us.
The problem is even though they seem perfectly happy and loving with us at times, they tend to flip a switch instantly and be completely afraid of every movement or noise. This happens almost every time we try to get close to them and they aren't in their bed or huddled up with one another in a corner.
My questions are:
-is this behavior normal given how long we've had them?
-is there something we have/are doing wrong?
-if so, how can it be corrected
-are there any general suggestions one might give as to how we can coax our kittens into trusting us as they should?
TL;DR: | Adopted "feral" kittens 1 month ago and still are having a hard time getting them to warm up to us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I worked my ass off for this and you're taking it all away from me!
POST: I'll try to make this short and sweet. Reddit, I'm fucking pissed! My husband and I closed on our first home on October 28, 2013. We worked so hard to save up and sacrificed whatever we had to to make our dream a reality. Well all our hard work paid off. We looked for months for the perfect home for us. We wanted to be close to family so we have help when we have kids and we wanted a little bit of privacy. The home we bought was perfect! It had the two things we cared about the most and I fell in love instantly. I've spent the last year making it my own and I've loved every minute of it. So here I am now having a terrible fucking day thanks to the developer who plans on tearing down all the woods around my house and building a mixed development. They have applied to tear down 352 acres and build a grocery store, gas station, fitness center, office spaces, and tons of retail. TONS OF IT! We choose to live in a more rural area and commute to work to avoid all this bullshit. And now it's literally being built in my backyard. All we will get is a 75ft buffer if my county approves the rezoning application. I feel like they are stealing from me. They are stealing my way of life and honestly they are stealing my hard earned money. Who's gonna want to buy my house when that shit is built? The value of my house will decrease and I'm worried we won't get out of it what we put in. It just sucks. I don't know what to do. My heart hurts. We talked about starting a family in this home and now all I want to do is get the fuck out of here. I'm not going to give up without a fight but I don't know how my small community can win against a multi million dollar developer. Fuck you for taking all of this from me! (Also I'm on my phone and don't feel like proofreading)
TL;DR: | Stupid fucking commercial developer is wanting to rezone 352 acres surrounding my house and build in my backyard. At least I'll get a 75ft buffer! Mother fuckers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [18m] My girlfriend [17f] told me she loved me
POST: My girlfriend told me she loved me and I guess I was in the situation where I had to say it back because I wanted to continue our relationship. Anyways it has been two weeks now since that happened. We have been dating for 3 months or so unofficially and a month officially. I don't feel the same way she feels about me and I don't want to keep lying to her. Also ever since we become "official" she has gotten really clingy and ALWAYS wants to spend time with me. She told me the other day that since we hang out so much that when don't hang out she feels lost. I'm a senior and I am leaving for college in 4 months and I don't plan on continuing our relationship after that point. The tricky thing is that I still like her but I don't love her so is there any polite and civilized way to say and explain that to her? Could you guys help me come up with things to say?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend told me she loved and I don't love her back. Getting serious to fast. I am going to talk to her about it, but I just don't know what to say. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [17F] here. When I become close with anyone, I become a doormat for them.
POST: I need help.. I don't know what to do.
I have been having a hard time with myself lately. When I feel especially upset/ agitated, I ask myself "Why am I upset/ mad?" I try to answer this question very honestly, no matter how dumb or embarrassing it may be. Today, I was very honest with myself and I admitted it was because someone I admire doesn't really contact me anymore. When this happens, I get this major conflict in my mind and I overthink and get very upset and angry at myself, and maybe at the other person as well. I tend to do nothing for the rest of the day except wait for the other person to notice me and I hope for them to ask to hang out or how I am.
Then I realized, I have been like this for as long as I can remember. I remember being 10 years old, and playing with my friend who lives next door almost everyday. When I find out she was busy at almost any day, I would get extremely offended because she didn't tell me she would be busy. I remember sitting in the summer heat on my front lawn for the rest of the day, waiting for her to come back home. And then I would give up and try to do something else, but she would be on my mind. I would imagine that she was there with me, and I would wonder what she was doing at the time.
I still do this. I tried everything. From not going on my phone, becoming more self aware, busying myself, getting more friends, it all is only a temporary solution. When I become very close with someone, (now it tends to be romantically), I make it known to the guy I like that even though I have my own life, I am usually readily available and happy to hang out whenever he can. I always put in so much effort only to be disappointed and upset at myself. It seems like now it is getting too much and I am suffering internally everyday. I don't know what to do. I need help, I just want to be able to have a healthy relationship with myself, and someone I admire.
TL;DR: | When someone I am close to doesn't contact me (whether they're busy, or doing other things), I become severely upset. How do I... get over this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Walking on thin ice - better to quit now or risk getting fired?
POST: Basically I started at my first job out of college last year developing software. I did excellently at first, garnering numerous great performance reviews, a raise, a bonus, and handling many unexpected projects.
However, in the past month and a half, the work and new management in addition to having almost no coworkers has caused me to slip slowly into depression and anxiety. This has affected my work performance dramatically, leading me to get into a lot of trouble. I originally thought it was just a temporary slump but now I realize that finding a new job would really make me a lot happier.
However, I'm now micromanaged to the point of absurdity, and I believe my company is just looking for an excuse to fire me. I am currently looking for new positions but I'm afraid if I have to work like this for another week or two I will end up getting fired. I only have about a month worth of living expenses saved up. How should I approach this?
TL;DR: | Looking for a new job. Should I stay and work for a few more weeks and risk getting fired or quit now and risk financial security while looking for a new job? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[24F] can't tell my boyfriend[28M] that I love him
POST: So my current boyfriend of 4 months helped me realize that my ex was emotionally abusive(and an alcoholic which I knew) and had nothing in common with. Being around him(CB) and with him makes me feel alive every single day. He helped me move and find a new place in an unfamiliar city(where our respect jobs are) and now I'm settled. During this time I totally relished in his company. We enjoy similar activities, have the same sense of humor—though he is more lighthearted than I which I need, and my parents really hit it off with him(more-so than they ever have with any SO) and he them.
The complication is that his job is ending in 2ish weeks and he doesn't have another position lined up. We've been working together to find opportunities, I've been imparting my networking and job search skills(I've found a lot of jobs/internships from nothing at all), and generally just supporting him emotionally and tactically during this transitionary period. I realized early on that I might be in love with him(1st official date if I'm being honest) and the last 2 weeks I've come so close to telling him my true feelings because I know without a doubt that I do love him as I've never loved or really felt this before. My hesitance is he already has a lot on his plate and I feel like telling him my true feelings will only add unnecessary stress on him. I've made it crystal clear that I want whats best for him in his career and if that means searching outside of our current city, so be it. I would never want to ask him to give up a good opportunity because he was worried about me or something. I guess I just feel lost, reddit. Do I tell him how I feel? Is it weird to keep this to myself or am I right in thinking that it will add too much stress?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend helped made me realize that I could have someone who truly cares and believes in me. He's going through big life changes and I feel selfish for even considering telling him that I love him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Roommates workplace threw away his doctors note, now claiming he never gave them one. What are his options? (X-post r/advice)
POST: Roommate was involved in a 4 car collision at the beginning of Oct. which apparently royally screwed up his back and cervical collar. The ER doc that day just handed him a bunch of scripts and sent him on his way. He went back to work, in pain, but figured that was what he was supposed to do. He works with heavy machinery and lugs heavy materials around all the time. One item even caused and audible 'pop' and dropped him to his knees in the middle of the shop. He went back to the hospital, where the new doc ran more tests, and said he should have never gone back to work so soon after the accident, and told him he need physical therapy. His job wanted a doctors note, and the doctor insisted he say out of work for half a week. He went into work, explained everything and gave them a copy of the doctors note. He went home thinking everything was good. He returned to work after the restriction had been lifted, but they have been acting odd. Today everything boiled over, they are threatening to fire him and stated that he never gave them a doctors note. What rights and recourse does he have at this point?
TL;DR: | Roommate gave Drs note to job, returned to work. Now threatening to fire him b/c 'he never gave them a drs note. Need advice ASAP |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] have overwhelming guilt about not telling my boyfriend [19M] of a year about my past
POST: Throwaway because my boyfriend is pretty active on reddit. Also my first post, I'm a long time lurker.
My boyfriend and I have a perfect relationship so far. We're both each other's first relationship and it's really, really great! But I just have this overwhelming sense of guilt that I haven't told him everything in my past. About six months before I met him, I was really insecure in myself. I met this other guy and we were about to date and he ghosted me. This really broke me and I tried to get external validation from other guys. This included sending nudes of everything sans my actual genitals, but my butt and my boobs. And not to guys I even knew - just strangers from Tinder and Okcupid, stuff like that. Thank God my face wasn't in them, but I can't believe I was so stupid. At the time I thought it made me happy, but whenever I think back at that time I just feel immense regret and sorrow. Other than the nudes, I just engaged in some dirty talk and other things like that. I was never in a relationship or even met with any of these people.
Now back to my boyfriend: lately whenever I'm away from him I get immense anxiety about telling him about these pictures. I'm not sure where these feelings are coming from. I've never told anyone because I'm so ashamed of myself. I worry about what he will think if I tell him; he's religious and I just don't want to spoil his image of me. I've never told him anything and he's never asked; he knows I went on some dates with that guy and that I was really broken up about it. Before we started dating he was my best friend and I told him that I did some things I'm not proud of but I don't think he could even imagine I was this stupid. I just love him so much and I don't want to tell him, I don't even understand this desire to tell him, but I'm just consumed with guilt.
What do I do reddit?
TL;DR: | sent some nudes to some guys before I started dating my boyfriend, now I'm consumed with guilt and want to tell him but don't want to ruin our relationship. Need advice on what to do or how to feel less guilty. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] fallout with [23 M] "soul mate", how do I get him out of my system?
POST: Soul mate is a ridiculous term, but there isn't a better short and to the point way to describe our friendship and relationship. He has always been a major part of my life, and after 3 or so volatile/passionate/heart wrenching attempts I decided I need to be done.
The problem is that every single relationship I have had sandwiched in between these attempts has been some kind of a reaction to the needs and insecurities that came from him. Needless to say they have been horrible.
I need better advice than "it will all work out" on what to do to get someone who has been such a big part of my life out of my system. I am really trying to work on being a better version of myself and staying away from the types of relationships I fall into post-exposure to him, but I feel myself falling into the same patterns. Please send help -__
TL;DR: | How do I get someone that was a major part of my love life out of my head so that I can move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my boyfriend[25 M] 13 months, did a bit of accidental snooping, found something I didn't want to. Have I got a leg to stand on?
POST: Never posted before so sorry if this is a little incoherent, only just made an account as I need some unbias advice.
I love my boyfriend, and before today would of considered us to be in a trusting relationship. This is why I did not think twice about his holiday, strictly with a male friend. Why would I mind? But after several days of no communication between us, I did begin to panic. As we share the computer and I'm no avid facebook user his account was already logged in. I've never been through his messages before and I don't support doing so but after several from one girl in particular I broke my rule and scrolled into the abyss... Where I found that she had orginally intended to join them on holiday and they had planned to share a tent - just them two. They've never met. They've been speaking for 3 years online, which in his defence, he had previously told me, but that they were just friends.
I'm not chuffed to say the least.
The wise thing do to would be log out. Wait for him to get home, sit down and talk.
Naturally I continued to scroll through every fucking message.
We've been a little hot and cold during our relationship and have split several times, during which, he had 56 full conversations with 56 different girls, one of whom was a long term ex, another was with a girl who he slept with when we split up for a week. During the master snoop I found they actually met on tinder and had been on several more dates then he had specified.
Though we began rocky, I thought we were fine now and this revelation has really shook me. Do I approach him about this? Can I even after what I have done? I've completely intruded on his privacy and that is breaking trust in itself.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend spoke to 56 odd girls which I found during a snoop, leg to stand on? Bloody ell facebook, you are a mischievous little bastard for screwing with relationships. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving a cookie in my pocket
POST: I was at the mall with my girlfriend carrying bags and giving her my assurance that I think she looks good in the clothes she's picking out (which apparently means nothing). We then bump into her friends and I take this as my opportunity to go to subway and get a sandwhich since I've worked up quite the appetite. As I finish my sandwhich and reach for the free cookie they gave me, I get a call from my girlfriend saying that she's finished shopping and needs help with the bags, so I decided to leave the cookie in my shirt pocket and eat it on the way home.
This was on Monday. Yesterday was laundry day, and now my clothes smell of cookies and it took forever to get all the crumbs out.
TL;DR: | left a cookie in my shirt pocket before laundry day making my clothes smell like cookies and leaving crumbs all over them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making my teenage son look like a sad, pitiable creature
POST: About an hour ago we convinced our high schooler son that the best place to buy a Jurassic Park tshirt was to send away to Isla Nublar for it. Because then it would be authentic, duhh.
A bunch of his friends need to buy one too, for a school play. So he gave them all this sage advice via social. It would have been redeemable at that point, but that he adamantly stuck to his position that Isla Nublar original tshirts would be the superior option. Needless to say, the mockery continues and tomorrow will probably be unbearable at school.
TL;DR: | son TIFUd by forgetting that we're evil deadpan bastards that feel having offspring is a blank cheque for lols. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: How Do I [22M] get over my EX [20F] when I know it's my fault we broke up?
POST: Background: So since graduating college I've been dating this girl for about 8 months. Recently, I broke her trust pretty badly. Not cheating or anything, just not forthcoming with information that was important. I truly apologized and tried to make it right, and i thought it was okay after that, but it wasnt. Last week, she told me to do something else important. I was head deep in interviews for a couple jobs I was finally hopefully going to get after college, and focused my energy into those things. Last weekend, she asked me after a movie night if i had done it yet, and I said no. She was very understandably upset, and said she doesnt trust me anymore. She forgave me, I did what she asked me to do, but a couple days later her sister publicly tried to shame me on FB, and then my SO apolgized for her sister, and broke up with me. I feel stupid reddit. I've been trying to put my work life together since college, and that hasn't been working, and I've been trying to be a good boyfriend, and that didn't work eventually either. How do I move on from my mistakes and failures, and become a confident person again?
TL;DR: | I broke trust, tried to make it right, was asked to do something, became distracted and didnt do it, deservedly dumped, how should i proceed going forward? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting high and ODing on dairy
POST: So last night I decided it was time to whip out the ol' Bongowski. Three hours and 5 rips later i decided to get one of the best pizzas ever from the shop just behind my house. Spicy Buffalo chicken.
Now mind you I had some grade A stuff so I walked into place with shades on. (It was 9 at night) On my way back I prop that bad boy on the table and take in the heavenly aroma, but then i thought "You know what would make this better? CHEESE FRIES!" Sadly, the pizza place serves no fries (what kinda pizza places doesn't sell fries ffs?) so i went to the burger shop right next to it. The fries was a fast 1m order; Out the frier, poored liquid gold ontop, and in the box.
So now I'm ready to have the greatest meal of my life and before i even know it, everything is cleaned. No more fries, no pizza, no anything, and then it hit me.
I had no drink.
I go to the fridge to make me some strawberry milk and end my day only to be rudely awoken hours later by an angry stomach. I run to bathroom and release yesterdays lunch in a mighty push of Hiroshima proportions.
I pooped at least 5 times within 2hrs of waking up and have had horrible gas ever since.
TL;DR: | Got high and ate a medium pizza, cheese fries, and a whole glass of strawberry milk and am paying heavily for it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M18] Recently experienced a tough break up, is a purely sexual relationship the right thing for me right now?
POST: My recent relationship ended as I started to move into a transitional period of my life. I got my first personal car, have been applying to jobs like the buggery and plan to move into a studio apartment in Sacramento to pursue my dreams in 6 to 8 months [thoroughly researched budget and everything so please don't try to change my mind]
Now to get to the reason I came here, for the reasons above I know I'm not in the right place for a committed romantic relationship. However I'm a very extroverted sexual person and I am currently feeling very unwanted and alone, is a hook up/fwb/booty call type relationship something that could be beneficial for me or am I just gonna have to suck it up?
TL;DR: | I got dumped during a transitional period of my life and I feel lonely but unprepared for a committed relationship, is casual sex my best option right now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I stop putting other people's priorities ahead of mine?
POST: More specific to my current predicament - My friend's b-day is this weekend, and a few of my friends (whom I haven't seen for about a month) obviously want to go out and celebrate. I'm good, but not great friends with them. Part of me wants to go, but I'm so busy with university that deep down, I know it would be best to stay in so tomorrow night and all of Sunday aren't a write off. But, whenever my only reason for missing a social event is homework/studying, I feel like it isn't a valid enough reason for others... even though it is valid for me, I always tend to feel bad or guilty for saying no to an invite.
TL;DR: | Trying to prioritize studying over a social event, but feel guilty as studying isn't something that I HAVE to do. Always feel guilty when telling friends "no". |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Casual college hookup but I want more
POST: I've [F/22] been consistently hooking up/sleeping with a guy [M/23] in a friends with benefits situation for about 3 months. I knew him from work, but only started to get to know him after we began hooking up.
From the beginning he's told me that he isn't looking for a relationship which I understand, being in our last year of college. However, I went into the situation with feelings for him that have only grown stronger.
We talked once about my feelings for him and he decided it was better if we stopped hooking up. Less than a week later we were back at it, mostly because we just wanted sex.
He moved back home (about 2 hours away from school) at the start of winter break and isn't moving back to school for another month and a half. Since winter break started in December, I've seen him once but we text pretty regularly. During break we texted briefly about a relationship, but he said he thinks long-distance is hard and that relationships create drama. (1. It would only be long-distance until he moves back to school then maybe after graduation, but I'm not looking that far ahead. 2. I'm VERY laid-back and low-maintenance, so I don't know what kind of drama he's referring to. But I didn't bring up any of this.)
My question is, how do I tell him I want something more serious without scaring him away again and when do I bring it up? The next time he's back on campus (in 2 weeks) or when he moves back to school?
We never discussed being exclusive, but I almost feel that our relationship has progressed past the FWB stage; among other things, he's taken me out to dinner and paid multiple times. I think he has some feelings for me, but I still don't know if he wants anything serious. I don't necessarily want a relationship, just some kind of emotional stability. I've talked to my friends about it, but I want to see if anyone else has any advice.
Also, I've never been in a serious relationship before, but I'm pretty sure he has.
TL;DR: | Been casually dating/sleeping with a guy who doesn't want a relationship. How do I bring up that I want something more? |
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