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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Friend turned BF (sort of). But I want to go back to just friends.
POST: Throwaway account, since a lot of my friends know I reddit. We're 19/20, female(me)/male(him). Almost exactly a year ago this boy from my high school and I became friends through a shared friend giving my number to him, thinking we'd 'get along well.' We used to hang out at playgrounds at midnight just chilling and talking and stargazing, etc. We really clicked. Near the end of the summer we started a more physical relationship and now refer to ourselves as 'bf-sh/gf-ish' since we're sort of dating, but not really. It's sort of a complicated thing that seems to be accepted by the two of us. Yes, he and I should really talk more about this. It's not an open relationship though, we're exclusive.
We went to different colleges, and would text and phone often, and we'd visit each other occasionally. But now that it's summer and we see each other almost everyday, I'm realizing that I see him as more of a friend than a boyfriend. Neither of us are very romantic people, so we're really not 'cutesy coupley,' and there's just a general passion missing in the physical side of our relationship.
I think he puts more value into this relationship than I do, and I don't want to be a bad girlfriend-ish and do something I'll regret, but I really don't want to lose his friendship, since it's one of the most genuine, perfect-for-eachother-as-friends friendship I have. How should I go about ending this without losing him as a friend?
TL;DR: | Friends started dating-ish long distance. But we're not right for each other romantically. How do I go back to just friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can anyone identify these...spots? on the top of my hand/forearm? My general doctor of 18 years can't.
POST: Hey guys, just looking for a little bit on help figuring out what these spots (that's what I call them, anyways) are. For the past few months they've been simply popping up/coming into view on my hand/forearm and I can't seem to figure out what they are, neither can my doctor. They aren't raised **bumps** per say, but just spots - almost splotches. I am absolutely sure that I haven't introduced any foreign things to my body to cause this; I take Zyrtec (pharmacy brand) and Singulair (asthma stuff) and that's it. I haven't gone off of any medication nor have I used any soap that could possibly cause an irritation. Can anyone help figure this out? Thanks! There's a link with a few pictures (sfw, obviously) down below.
TL;DR: | I have spots on my arms that come up every night, my doctor can't figure out what they are. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: This community needs to take a chill pill, check the hate, and get constructive.
POST: I guess it's because of its largeness and thus being more of a sample of the general population (and I suppose lax moderating), but the level of anger and volatility towards posters in this sub is pretty disconcerting. I would go as far as to say it is out of control.
Here's the example that prompted me to write this post:
Look, I think the guy's pretty misguided myself, but I also don't think he should be blasted for *getting something off his chest*. Even a lot of the gentler replies contain some sort of thinly veiled personal attack. Some of these end up devolving into childish arguing. Some of the comments are not constructive at all; they just call him piece of shit, bigot, etc.
It's ridiculous, and offensive. This sub should be about openness, a community willing to listen, even if the OP is miguided, yes, even if they are somewhat hateful. I'm not saying you need to coddle every bigot that stops in just to hate on a group of people (well, those kinds of posts should probably just be removed), but try to understand that this is a person, and there's a good chance they're not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, and they might actually want to change their opinion, even if they come on strong one way. Everyone's insecure...
TL;DR: | At the end of the day, compassion is the only way you're actually going to have a small chance of getting through to someone. Check the hate, and remember why we're here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23f) am confused and not sure how to proceed with a guy I know (28m)
POST: I met this fellow, who I'll call Jake because that's his name and he has no idea what reddit is, a few years ago through mutual friends.
We were both in long term relationships that ended roughly a year ago. I had admired him from a distance for the entire time but we both had our own things happening.
Recently a friend of mine found out we liked each other and started encouraging our social circles to mash.
Somehow I ended up with his number and we have been texting constantly for about two months now, but have hung out four times in a group and once alone.
He will always message me first thing in the morning and throughout the day, but when it comes to hanging out he's almost impossible to get a hold of.
I know he's a really busy person so I haven't pushed much, but I often feel like I'm getting mixed signals.
Is he just not that into me? He seems to express interest and then back off.
Is anyone able to help offer some dating advice?
TL;DR: | talk all the time but never hang out, feeling like a friend more than a dating candidate. Should I look elsewhere? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/f] needing help with ex-boyfriend [19/m] after mutual breakup
POST: My ex-boyfriend and I broke up in November after we decided that our long distance (4 hours on the train) relationship was not working out.
However, he said that if I ever wanted to be involved with him again he would consider and try and find a way to work it out. I thought that was unfair on him, so I decided to cut my losses and try and move on. A few months down the line and he has a new girlfriend ("she's so much like you it's scary!" eugh) and he tells me that he would still consider me even though he is now in a relationship.
I miss him a lot, but I don't want to ruin his new relationship by asking him to "consider me". On the other hand I feel like if he would still consider me then his current relationship probably isn't that important to him. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Ex-boyfriend told me that even though he has a new girlfriend he would still consider being with me if I ever chose to get back with him. I miss him terribly but I don't want to be an awful person |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: M 25 5'8" 190 can't lose those love handles!
POST: So I started dieting about a month ago, and after a solid 30 days of unbreaded grilled chicken breast and ground turkey, protein shakes, broccoli, and egg whites for breakfast I still am having issues losing the weight around the middle. I'm gaining alot of muscle and my shirts are fitting very well. I'm getting attention from women that before wouldn't have even looked my way so I'm getting there.
But the minor gut(fat) that surrounds my lower back/lower abs is being very stubborn! I've even bought some green tea/coffee beans to help assist with this lower tummy weight loss, although im getting the feeling that only helps with water weight because i'm feeling dehydrated when i drink a gallon of water per day.
I posted here because i figured you guys would have some valuable advice/tips that i'm overlooking for this specific problem area.
TL;DR: | Having trouble losing midsection fat. Working out daily doing alot of HIIT training, gaining muscle just can't lose that midsection. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29 M] gf [27 F] of 6 years seems to have a thing for coworker [M]
POST: Long story short, my fiance is an accountant at a large firm in New York City. She works with some really cool folks but it seems there is one guy she tends to bond with more, eating lunch, shooting the shit etc. To me this is not really an issue as her office is male dominated, and going out with females is difficult. Although being an attractive female in this situation must be an ego boost or a nightmare. I am under the impressions that women and men can be friends as long as there are boundaries ( some may disagree ).
Since they work together they tend to go out to lunch, discuss work drama and roll in the same work circles. What bothers me though is that after work he has been calling her to kind of "shoot the shit" and text messaging her more than I would even. I have brought it up before and she says she is committed to our relationship and it's just a friendship.
Should I be concerned? A part of me is only because I am losing her attention in a slow and subtle way, but I don't want to smother or over react to the situation as that is not fair to her.
I also wanted to take the relationship to the next step but it's hard to when there is always the chance that a year or two down the road she is ultimately wanting to do something different or just over it.
Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | A slow budding friendship at her job could be blossoming into more than just a friendship. Am I overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [15M] tutor a girl [15F] in math. She says we are friends but when her friends come around she acts like a complete snob and is rude to me.
POST: High everyone, I want to thank you all for advice/input into this situation. I would normally talk to my sisters but they have a horrible tendency to blow things out of proportion and make things a bigger deal than it has to be. So I figured I would ask for some neutral advice.
in about 3 weeks I start my sophomore year, and there is something that has bothered me for a while now. Around February of this year my math teacher has the idea to arrange where people sit. This was due to students talking to their friends all the time.
I was seated next to this girl Lisa (fake name). The short of it is we spoke to each other to solve the equations. It became evident that she is a person that struggles with Math and she admits this herself. I am good at math and she asked me to tutor her.
We would meet up after school at the IHOP to study together and when it's just us she is fine, enjoyable to be around. But at school if I speak to her and ask her a question she gives me this sarcastic comment and look.
This always happens when she is with her friends, she acts like a complete snob to me for no reason. If she is talking to me and they come around the corner or something she will stop talking to me immediately.
I don't understand why, I am not a a bad looking guy. I work out, I am not a nerd, I don't have a bad personalty so I don't understand the problem
I would appreciate some older wisdom into this situation. I don't really know what to do
TL;DR: | I tutor my friend and when it just us she is fine. But when her friends are around she acts like a compete jerk. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a busy person with a pair of 10kg dumbbells. Can you recommend a good set of daily exercises?
POST: Hey guys; thanks in advance for any help you can provide! Let me give you a bit of background.
My life is fairly busy at the moment (working full time and doing a Masters as well) and my exercise levels have dropped to almost nil (used to swim regularly, but no more). I have a bit of a tire around the waist that I want to destroy but am limited in knowledge as to what is effective at enhancing my strength and improving my metabolism.
I've also switched to an [Intermittent] [Fasting] (2 links there) eating style, which I intend to keep up for good. In that, I eat fairly freely between the hours of 1pm and 9pm, and drink nothing but water for 16 hours after that. So far, it's been pretty great.
But it does nothing for my muscular growth and fat reduction, which is where you could help me out with a nice workout plan! Maybe 20-30 minutes a day, either in the morning or at night, would be good. Hopefully something that could give my entire body a good workout over a week. I have a pair of 10kg dummbells that I can heft fairly well (Can do ~15-20 bicep curls with them).
Cheers!
TL;DR: | Have a pair of 10kg dumbbells and 20-30mins a day: what's a good daily / weekly workout routine? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have a date with a super hot nerdy girl, and my dating record so far has been miserable. Tips / Tricks for attracting and keeping the ladies?
POST: So I'm a standard nerd. 26, living with some roommates. I haven't dated in years but earlier this year I got on OKcupid and its been nothing but misery. First girl didn't return after the first date. The second girl was my ex from high school (yes, it was a dumb choice). That lasted a few weeks before I stopped returning her texts. Third girl was very passive, and never really wanted to do anything. I'd just spend evenings at her apartment; drinking wine and watching crappy 80s flicks on her tiny laptop. After a month of this, we finally start getting physical, and it turns out she isn't comfortable in bed unless she's plastered, so nuts to that.
This leads me to this weekend. I randomly messaged a girl who had some references to Reddit, Hitchhikers guide, and Star Wars in her profile. Oh yea, did I mention SHE'S THE HOTTEST WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN. I assumed I'd get the cold shoulder, but she messaged me back, and we chatted a few times. Now she's invited me to meet her in person for some shitty coffee and discussion about bath salt zombies.
Can you guys help me avoid pitfalls and general no-nos in a first date?
TL;DR: | Just started dating again and I've found about as close as it comes to perfection. I don't want to fuck this up. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my boyfriend [24M], weird friendship with his ex [23F]
POST: My boyfriend Will and I have dated for 1 year. Before that, he dated Emma for 2 years. Will met Emma through his friend who shared an apartment with Emma at college. Because of this, it meant that Emma is also good friends with all of Will's friends. Emma and Will were each others first serious relationship. Plus, she's one of those cool girls who just seems really fun, loads of friends etc. So I was pretty intimidated by her.
I met Will's friends (minus Emma) and they were all nice to me. Although it was a bit weird. I really felt like the outsider coming into a group of people who all love Will's ex. Especially because some of them knew Emma before they met Will. Mostly the guys just hang out and have guys nights where girls aren't invited, so actually I didn't have to see Emma and neither did Will. Emma is now dating someone else anyway, who I met before her and he was nice to me.
Anyway I met Emma shortly afterwards, just briefly, and she was super nice to me. We met again at a party a couple months later and got a bit drunk and chatted for ages. She was really friendly and welcoming to me. Anyway, we became friends on facebook and basically since then we have had a weird thing of liking each other's stuff and making little comments etc e.g. "cute photo". She initiated it, I would be too nervous to do that! It seems like she's really making a big effort. I don't really know how to interpret it to be honest. Only one other person in the group has done anything like this, and I've spent a lot more time with him, and he just occasionally likes something.
Anyway Will also thinks Emma is making a big effort, and I don't know how to interpret it or how to respond (apart from liking stuff on facebook... not at all superficial haha). Just looking for some outside opinions!
TL;DR: | Developed a weird facebook friendship with my boyfriend's ex, who is in his friendship group, not sure how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22M) can't stop fucking it up with my gf (24F)
POST: Hello! I made a post about a month ago expressing how hard I was trying to get my ex back after I treated her like absolute shit in the last 6 months of our 2 year relationship. I'm talking she'd leave my house crying almost every night.
Well I finally managed to half way get her back and I'm acting the same way towards her. Being extremely rude, saying mean things to get a rise out of her and honestly, it makes me feel *good* to hurt people's feelings when they care about me. I know this sounds fucked up but I like hurting my girlfriend's feelings. It almost empowers me. I always text her a few hours later and apologize because I seriously feel terrible but in the moment it feels good.
What do I need to do with myself? I obviously have huge issues with myself and I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I'd really like so advice. Thanks guys.
TL;DR: | I won my ex back, now back to my synical ways because it makes me feel good to hurt her, what's wrong with me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl who is very special to me is leaving on a plane tomorrow night. I have something to pass to her. She did mention that i shouldn't trouble myself to send her off. Should i go?
POST: Forgive me if I have violated any rules of this reddit. Its slightly towards relationships...but not totally.
So as the title says, i(23 Male) have a special friend(22 Female) that is leaving tomorrow. I drew a drawing for her and she loved it(shes asked me to send it on whatsapp for a preview). She said it was okay to pass it to her only when she comes back after she has graduated, which is half a year later. She did say that she doesn't want to trouble me to send her off at the airport(and passing the drawing to her).
Now, i will not deny that i do have feelings for her. Even before she left for overseas to college. However i very well knew a LDR would never work. I mean what do you know? Shes got a boyfriend over in the UK(which she did tell me it might not work as he wants to stay in the UK, whereas she wants to come back home after graduation..) We've been keeping in touch, and i am kinda just waiting for her to grad and be done with college and come back home.
THis might be useful to know that ive went out on dates with her...shared straws, movies and have got good times. I've seriously just got no balls and never had the right moment to do so.
Im terribly sorry if i have annoyed anyone with this post. Im just confused and need a answer. I mean a woman's "NO" might just mean a "Yes" at times...from what i have learnt. So i do appreciate the help. Thanks! oh and sorry for the bad english!
TL;DR: | Girl who is very special to me is leaving tomorrow night. I have a drawing to pass to her. She did mention that i shouldn't trouble myself. Should i go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24f) lost my love (27m) who died in his sleep, complicated relationship.
POST: On Tuesday the love of my life died, and I can't even begin to describe the level of fear and despair and depression I feel. He died in his sleep and I still don't know what caused it.
We were together nearly a year but had a pretty bad breakup about 6 months ago. We finally started talking again, we both apologized for what happened and expressed how much we missed each other. Being without him for those six months was torture.. But then this happened. I went over (he lives out of town) to visit him Wednesday.. Im staying at a friends, only to find out Thursday morning that he passed on Tuesday. I haven't seen him in six fucking months.
The person who is responsible for the best times of my life is just.. Gone.. I don't know what to do. This isn't some life lesson, this isn't fair, its fucking cruel. I don't know how to process how I feel, I just cry and cry and I'm constantly scared. I dream of his upcoming funeral and wake up crying and covered in sweat.
He was an amazingly talented man, with a heart of gold, and I loved him with every part of myself.
I need help learning to cope with this.. Because frankly I'm not sure how to survive it.
TL;DR: | My lovely man died and I'm beyond fucked up. Need help coping don't know where to start and I don't feel safe in my own head. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: I'm [M/19] and need advice on a girl[F/19] I want to ask out - Barely know her
POST: So I met this girl during a club meeting at my university. I ended up always being too shy to talk to her more than a quick sentence or two in a group situation. I saw her on tinder and sadly I don't think we've matched on there (its been a long time and no match, so I'm assuming its not going to happen), so my question is whether or not I should still ask her out on facebook or something because I rarely see her now that she left the club. Should I take the tinder thing not happening as an indication that she doesn't find me attractive?
TL;DR: | I barely know a girl that I met at a school club, didn't match on tinder, should I still ask her out in person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] of almost 1 year wants to break up/take a break until she can get her mind sorted out because of personal issues
POST: So Sara has been having issues for a while, she had become more distant with me and hasn't been telling me everything like she used to. Sara says she has some personal issues and that this is why she is being distant and isn't telling me the full stories. We saw each other just yesterday and we were having fun hanging out, when we she was leaving she suddenly became frustrated and angry.
This morning, she let me know that her close family member might have cancer. This isn't her only issue, I know she has more for sure. Now, she's telling me she cant be with me because of her issues and that she needs to "find herself". She still wants to see me, just no being intimate or doing anything that makes being friends and boyfriend/girlfriend the difference.
I'm in a really tight position, just last week she tried to break up with me but she changed her mind once I saw her. I don't want to lose her, she helped me get through the worst times of my life and stopped me from doing a lot of stupid things.
Should I let her go try to find herself?
TL;DR: | Sara doesnt want to be together because of her personal issues but might want to get together later. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [14 M/] with my old friend [14 M/F] 3 months, she now hates me
POST: Hello!
i have known this girl for 3 months and we have built a great relationship, But she has some family members who don't care about her and she suffers from anxiety/depression, She stopped texting me and blocked me from everything, We used to care about each other.
It's been a month since all that happened when she blocked me and stuff, i've gave her time and i see her at school everday, she looks troubled and i tried to talk to her and she justs runs away, it has impacted me alot since i put alot of time caring about her
TL;DR: | How would i try and talk to her again, I can tell she needs help but i don't know how to approach her with this. Thanks |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [20M] trying to get back into dating after a year and a half.
POST: So as the title says, I'm trying to get back into dating after a year and a half, when my ex broke up with me. I've got tinder and a few matches, but I feel like I've lost the ability to flirt, or be charming, or funny enough; Hell, even maintaining a conversation. When I make a match on tinder I try and build up the courage to talk but never actually do. And if I did, that I'd have nothing interesting to say, or that they would find it interesting, so I just don't bother talking in the first place.
I was just wondering, how do you start a conversation and keep it going, I literally feel like I've lost the ability to keep a good conversation going.
Sorry if this is very jumbled and not in the right place, was just trying to get some help.
Thanks for any help!
TL;DR: | Trying to get back into dating after a year and a half, feel like I've lost the ability to maintain conversation with girls, how do I get the courage back to do just go for it? Words of advice? Thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by being tired and asking a question.
POST: This is more like a year ago but still.
So I have these two friend's one the sister of my best friend lets call her D and the other is a girl that I liked for a really long time now lets call her C.
Right I stay at my best friends house almost ever weekend and so does C I have a guest bed to sleep in and C shares a bed with D.
But one night when I just got to sleep boom I wake up to C asking if she could stay in my bed (if I was in anyway awake at this point it would of been a flat yes) but in my sleepy (fairly high) state I just looked at her and asked "what's wrong with D's bed?"
Of course she turned walked back into D's room and that was it she acted like it never happened and so did I.
TL;DR: | got high went to bed girl I like asked to sleep in bed I asked stupid question missed chance of a life time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my GF [20F] of 4 months, I'm in a relationship I no longer want.
POST: I'm just starting university, met this girl and we hit off. we've been dating for 4 months now and I no longer feel like I want to be in the relationship. I just got bored.
However my girlfriend is super sweet and I think she has stronger feelings for me. I don't know if I should, or how to end things. with her. I feel extremely bad because I don't want HER to feel bad. I'm a really bad boyfriend and I feel I'm hurting more and more as I lose interest because I rarely text her or invite her to do stuff.
I'm conflicted because:
* She's super sweet and I don't want her to feel bad
* The break up might fuck up school relationships (We're in the same semster and her friends are my friends too.)
* I don't know how to break up with her
I know this kind of a stupid rant, I know ultimately I have to break up with her and it's going to be tough and it might damage some relationships but I would like some support and advice on how to minimize damages. I hope you understand.
TL;DR: | I don't want to be in a relationship anymore but I don't know how to end things because of the bullet points. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mom (57) have been distant ever since she learned who I (29/m) really am.
POST: Last summer, my sister took her own life. It was very tough on the family, and my mom made some serious effort to be there for me more. Not that she was bad to me, in fact she was wonderful but I live on other side of the country so she barely visit or anything. Also she made much more effort to text and call me than she used to and start to send me cards and small gifts and other kindness gesture. She also even come to visit me for very first time just right before Christmas which was very nice.
When I went to visit my family for the holiday, they keep asking me about facebook. I finally admit that I do have facebook, but was really worried they would be bothered by my life. I'm a big time daredevil. There's nothing I enjoy more than taking some big risk and I admit I spend money reckless as well.
My family were a bit concern at first but then they says they were supportive of me. So I thought it would be ok to friend with them on facebook.
They start to ask me all kind of questions about things I do... Also they start to ask if I'm going to stop or do something else eventually and other questions. It was obviously they really doesn't like me riding motorcycle, jump out of a airplane, diving with sharks, hang gliding and other things.
Ever since then, my mom have pretty much stop talking to me and my aunts are trying to make me feel bad for putting my mom through this.
Every time I try to talk to my mom, she's always rather distant and try to cut it short.
I'm sure she is distancing herself from me. It hurt so bad. I know I do lot dangerous things but it is something that give me great joy and happiness in life. If I was to die tomorrow, I'd be fine with it. I'd die a happy man as I have lived my life to fullest.
Yet my family think I should stop doing those things.
TL;DR: | After my sister's death, my family learned that I'm a daredevil and now my mom is distancing herself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Losing touch with a best friend
POST: So I (18M) recently started university and didn't make too many friends in highschool and they all moved almost an hour away for Uni, so I try to stay in touch with them and see them at least once every couple of weeks, and if I can't I try and text them at least once a week. It was all fine until one of them, 18F, stopped texting back and I don't know why. For quite a while we would jokingly flirt back and forth, even when she had a bf, and I always thought that it was clear for both of us that we were just friends. I tend to not think things through when I'm talking or texting, so my fear is that I accidentally said something that took the joke too far and now she thinks I have a thing for her and that scared her off.
She's one of my best friends and it would kill me if she just slipped away so I ask you strangers of the internet: How can I fix this?
TL;DR: | I may have said something stupid and made one of my best friends think I have a crush on her and now she's ignoring me. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by reporting an online game cheater
POST: *^(note i'm trying to avoid mentioning the game or other personal info as per reddit's rules.)*
While watching some game matches played by a friend, he mentioned his rank bracket was full of auto-playing accounts.
I've decided to investigate it by manually looking through account IDs of related accounts, and in a pretty small amount of time i found several dozens of accounts, seemingly generated through a script.
Given how that game's economy is primarily work/time-based and the limited active playerbase on it, i've realized that could get ugly pretty fast, and spent a night compiling a list of over 50 accounts(found by manually crawling the account ID pages), managed to trace them to the main account, and fired up an e-mail to that game's developers about it.
Several days later(they were dealing with other things), all of that player's accounts are banned, and the player creates a forum account, telling about the rumors other players had of him, and how he has cancer.
Some google fact-checking later...
Separate, independent sources show he indeed has been fighting cancer...
Before he even started playing.
I'm feeling bad now.
TL;DR: | reported a player who had 100+ alt-accounts benefitting his main account, all of them were banned, turns out the player behind them has cancer and did it so he could play that game more often. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32/M] with my girlfriend [32/F] of 6 months are having "troubles" in the bedroom.
POST: Please do not be judgemental about this, as many have.
I met my girlfriend at a party. She was in a very unhappy marriage. Her husband did not abuse her or anything like that, there was just no passion or love. We did not intend on getting together, but we did. She is now going through the process of divorce.
When we first got together, we had sex all of the time. Every day, multiple times per day. However, since then, we have moved in together, her children are at the house half of the time, etc. The sex has dropped off to maybe twice or thrice per week.
I do not really see this as a problem to be honest. I see it as a natural progression. Also, there have been many stressors in our lives as of late, which definitely contribute. Also, I have read in many places that the male sexual peak is from late teens to early twenties, while the female peak is from late twenties to early thirties.
I am lost. I do not know what to do here. She wants sex every night, or almost every night. Much of the time I am in a bad mood and very tired because I work in a very high stress environment 12+ hours per day.
The issue is NOT that the sex is not good. I enjoy it and enjoy being close to her.
I am looking for ways to talk to her, and possibly some tips to spice things up. She is VERY sensitive, so I have to approach the talk with a certain finesse.
TL;DR: | Am in a 6 month relationship with a woman who is going through divorce. Sex used to be extremely frequent, but the frequency has dropped off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My mother is recently widowed and I think she is being taken advantage of. Has anyone else dealt with this sort of situation and is there anything I can do?
POST: Hey Reddit, I am at my wit's end here and I'm really hoping someone has some advice to help me with this. My father passed away a few years ago and it dealt a serious blow to my family. My mother started seeing this guy and I believe he is taking advantage of her. He has been convicted of a similar crime in the past and is currently on probation. His presence in my mother's life is slowly but surely alienating my mother from the rest of our family and her friends. He makes all sorts of empty promises to make her believe that she needs him and that he has changed. I don't buy it. I recently moved in with her and he does absolutely nothing to help around the house. The grass was completely overgrown. There are stains all over the carpet from neglecting the animals to the point where the carpet is sticky in some places. It essentially looks like a heroine addict lives here (which I am hoping is not the case). He lives here but she does not trust him with a key because he has robbed her twice before when she tried to break up with him. I was recently laid off from my job and don't start my next job until next week. I have also noticed in this time that he will disappear from the house for hours at a time with no explanation but always seems to have more money when he comes back that makes me think he is doing something illegal to make money. Has anyone dealt with a situation like this? Is there anything I can do about it? She honestly feels like she needs him in her life but he is clearly taking advantage of a grieving woman.
TL;DR: | My mother's boyfriend is a scumbag and I'm afraid he is going to keep stealing from her and taking advantage of her but she wont listen to me. Is there anything I can do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex [30m] is having a hard time with my [33f] reasons why
POST: I ended a 4-yr-long relationship recently because I did not see a future between us.
He was amazing to me, I love him desperately, we were very close, but I am at an age where I have to look ahead. I want children, and I don't see it with him at all--I don't think we would be good partners as parents, and even at 30, he has a lot of growing up to do. It's a gut feeling I have that I need to follow--and he thinks it's absolute bullshit. He is very "live in the moment," and I am looking ahead. Honestly, I don't blame him. If he had broken up with me with the same reasoning, I would be completely confused and pissed.
How can I help him understand why and move on with his life? I love him completely, but I don't want him to hold on to me. It's so hard to say "someday you'll understand," because that is patronizing, and maybe he never WILL see it the way I do.
TL;DR: | Ended mostly wonderful relationship because I'm getting older and didn't see a future together--how to help my ex accept this and move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Everytime I [27M] ask my (former) co-worker [23F] to hang out, she immediately suggests "we all" (group of co-workers) should hang out soon; what's going on?
POST: I made friends with a co-worker, and so we would spend most of the day chatting (instant message) at work, covering all sorts of topics. We definitely got along quite well, had good laughs and had good conversations. And I'm sure this was more than just chatting to pass the time at work, since topics ranged anywhere from mundane random things to sex to relationships, and otherwise sensitive things you'd only trust a close friend with (and that trust was never violated). Some of the conversation even ventured into being rather flirtatious.
We never hung out outside of work "one on one" but a few times with the group of co-workers.
She has since left the company I work for, but we are periodically in touch. Random conversations and hellos and what not here and there.
But here's the thing, any time I invite her to hang out (before or after her departure from the company), the answer is always something to the effect of, "Sure! Let's coordinate something with everyone" meaning she is willing to hang out, provided that it's with the group of co-workers, or at least someone else there.
What's going on here? Is she trying to avoid the possibility of me trying to make a "hang out" into a date?
TL;DR: | Whenever I ask my (former) co-worker to hang out, she agrees but wants to hang out as a group with our mutual friends/co-workers. What's happening here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm 19/M and I don't think I want to be with my 22/M boyfriend any more, but I need somewhere to live I can't break it off. What do I do?
POST: We've been together for almost 10 months now. We both say we love each other and well I do love him, but it's fading away and I'm not sure if it's real. We argue all the time, I admit most arguments are as a result of me, but not always.
I cannot stop thinking about being with other guys and it's driving me crazy.
Back story on the living situation: He goes to University and I go to College, I currently am just staying in the room he rents and not paying any thing. Except for our food which we go half on. He is looking to move out somewhere where there isn't other people living in the same house (1 bedroom flat) as we're living with three other people (who pay) at the moment. If I break up with him, I'll have to go back to my home which is a lot further away from where my College is. I know I'm a terrible fucking person, but I'm not sure if I do feel the same way about him any more. Is it my hormones acting up? I'm not sure...
Another point I should add: He loves sex and I hate it. We haven't had it for months and he pesters me about it all the time.
TL;DR: | I don't think I love him any more, we fight, I'm basically staying at his so I can live for free while going to College. I can't stop thinking about being with other guys.* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Dad (50-something) gave me (his 20-something son) an apology letter for my birthday. Not sure he has anything to apologize for?
POST: Throwaway for obvious-to-me reasons.
Along with a bunch of great gifts that my parents usually give me for my birthday, my dad gave me an envelope. I went to open it and he told me not to open it until I got home.
So I got home, opened that up, and it was a two-page letter. The first page was really warm and fuzzy — he's proud of me, he's proud of my romantic relationship, and he's proud of my job. On the second page, he apologized for vague perceived transgressions. He's sorry for being angry sometimes, for letting his "corrosive behaviour waste" important years of my life. He claims he's failed me in so many ways.
Only one thing wrong with that: I have no idea what he's talking about.
I remember him being angry with me sometimes. I remember times when he would get exasperated with me and yell at me. But that all seems like normal parent stuff, doesn't it?
Maybe I've blocked out the really bad stuff, or maybe he's just a softie, but I really can't think of why he would feel the need to apologize for being a human being. I don't really want to bring it up, either, just in case there *is* something bad in there that I've blocked out.
> An aside: a few years ago, he took me to lunch and started off with an apology. We were on holiday as a family about 5-8 years prior and apparently he said something to me that he "thought about every single day" and really choked him up. Again, I didn't know how to react and confusingly accepted his apology, but when I asked what he said, he didn't elaborate.
How do I react to something like this? He and I have talked since he gave it to me, but this letter didn't come up.
—
TL;DR: | Got an apology letter from my dad along with great birthday gifts. Apparently, he's sorry for sometimes being angry, but I don't know why he should be sorry. How should I react to this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What aspects of everyday life seem to be simple for others, but are beyond your grasp?
POST: I'll start. I consider myself a fairly intelligent and logical person. I read often, am a decent writer, and am well-spoken. In most situations, I can easily analyze problems to find the most logical and efficient solution. I also find it easy to step back from the emotions of a situation to see all sides, which means that I am often called upon to mediate disputes between friends and colleagues.
If handed a math problem, however, my brain and body go into panic mode and I turn into a bumbling moron. If finding the answer to the problem actually *matters* to me, then I also become angry and downright violent with frustration. People who know me don't recognize me. When working on Math homework (I'm 34 and have returned to college), my husband just leaves the house and won't return until I am done and have had time to let the adrenaline wear off.
TL;DR: | Although normally an even keeled person, if given a simple math problem I go straight into Mathematical Fight or Flight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I fucking hate that damn rabbit
POST: My boyfriend and his roommate have a pet rabbit that they allow to hop freely around the house. Now don't get me wrong, I love animals and rabbits are pretty cute, but this bunny gets on my last fucking nerve.
I want to point out that my boyfriend is an otherwise very clean person who keeps the place otherwise tidy. Except for the mess left by that FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT RABBIT!
He chews everything. Nobody is allowed to leave anything within reach of the rabbit or it will end up ruined. When we first started dating, I was charging my phone on the couch, which I didn't think the rabbit could get to, and I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back, my phone charger was chewed through and the little asshole was about to go to town on my phone. I scared him off the couch, fucking pissed off. Now I only leave my phone and most other belongings in my boyfriends room where the stupid creature has no access.
He also chews stuff in the apartment. Chairs, heating grates, screen doors, every fucking thing. They can't have any nice furniture because their stupid pet will chew it. Even their couch is ruined because the underside of it is all chewed to hell.
The rabbit is also dirty. He has a little area network the corner where he does most of his business and the wall is discolored from the piss and shit. He also leaves the occasional turd around the apartment that is just asking to be stepped on. I will not walk around the apartment in bare feet. If the rabbit eats too much, it gets diarrhea and it gets smeared all over the floor.
The rabbit technically belongs to my boyfriends roommate but neither of them thinks the stupid fucking thing should stay in the crate, at least while nobody is home. They think that because he's cute, he should be able to hop freely around and destroy the apartment.
My boyfriend keeps asking me to move in but I will do no such thing until the rabbit either dies or is locked up in a crate.
TL;DR: | boyfriend has a rabbit that pisses, shits and chews on the apartment and both him and his roommate could care less. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do we (27M/24F) politely end our friendship with another couple (20s M/F)?
POST: Hi everyone,
My girlfriend and I are looking for advice on how to break up with some friends, a couple (we will call them Don and Debbie) who are very persistent, bordering on clingy.
This situation started because Don moved to our city last year. Our mutual friend asked to give Don my contact information, and I was fine with it. I had moved to the city a couple years ago, and understood the struggle of moving somewhere where you don't know anybody. Other than our mutual friend, we have no connection to Don and Debbie.
So Don moves here, he is busy getting settled, busy with work, etc. My girlfriend and I hang out with him a few times, and it's fine. We don't have a lot in common, but are fine with grabbing an occasional beer with him.
Then my girlfriend and I buy a house about an hour from the city, my girlfriend starts a new job which requires a lot of travel, and our time becomes very limited. This is also when Don's girlfriend, Debbie,
moves to join him in the city. After Debbie moves up here, they start asking to hang out a couple times a week. At first, we politely decline, saying how busy we are with the new house, new job, etc. However, they have only gotten more persistent. They will often both message us over and over and over again until we respond. If we don't reply to Debbie's texts immediately, she will message us over facebook. When we do hang out with them, they try to make us feel guilty for not hanging out with them more. It's gotten to the point where we are tired of having to constantly explain to them that we have a lot going on right now.
They aren't bad people by any means. It just seems like we are the only people they know here. However, we don't have a lot in common with them, we live relatively far from them, and they won't back off. We've decided we need to end the friendship. How do we do this? I'm ready to ghost them, and block them on social media, but my girlfriend thinks we should give them an explanation. What do we tell them?
TL;DR: | Friends are too clingy. Girlfriend and I want to end the friendship. How do we explain that we don't want to be friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [CA] Can landlord retroactively add breed restrictions to my lease?
POST: So we moved into this house 4 months ago. We have a 1 year lease. The ad said "dog friendly, cat friendly, pet deposit required"--no breed or weight restrictions. We moved in with our two chi-mixes and paid the deposit. The lease has rules for getting new pets: landlord must approve in writing, must covered by our insurance (which covers all breeds), must not have history of aggression, etc. Again, no breed restrictions.
We decided we wanted another dog and texted our landlord about it. He asked what kind and we told him we didn't know as we were going to adopt from a shelter, but it would probably be a larger breed. He said ok and to let him know when we got one.
Well, we went to the shelter and fell in love with an pit mix. He's about 50 lbs, but the height of a basset hound. All the staff raved about how sweet he was. We texted the landlord the next day to let him know we got a dog. He asked what kind and when we said he was a pit mix, he told us we could not have a pit bull and we had to get rid of the dog or move out. I tried to explain to him the dog was not aggressive but he didn't want to hear it.
So, can he retroactively add breed restrictions to our lease? It's not as though the lease is silent as to getting a new pet. And, even if he can, once he approved us getting a large dog from the shelter, can he then say no pit bulls?
TL;DR: | Lease doesn't have breed restrictions, landlord consented for us to adopt a large breed dog, but said we had to get rid of the dog or move out when we told him it was a pit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [Late 20s M] with my Neighbors [50-60? M], conflicted about interacting with them after learning about a recent incident.
POST: Growing up I've always had to hear about a couple inconsiderate neighbors from my folks, they've never done anything malicious or damaging, just inconsiderate self centered stuff like consistently breaking rules of a local HOA type of thing. Although I've never really directly had a bad interaction, I've never been fond of them. They've always come off as sleazy and insincere, despite being friendly and nice, if that makes sense.
I recently relocated back to my hometown for a bit and today I ran into a couple of them, again they've always been nice and cordial to me and this time was no different. They offered me a few beers and asked about my life, what I've been up to etc. All in all a pleasant interaction.
After mentioning this to my folks, they brought up an incident a few months ago when they got into a heated altercation with them after smoke from their large bonfires would completely consume our yard/house. After confronting them about it, the drunk neighbors aggressively yelled at my Mom until my Dad intervened, almost escalating into a fight.
After hearing that I felt really slimley about shaking their hands and drinking with them. On one hand this was months ago and not necessarily my fight. Growing up, I've known my parents can be sticklers about certain things, but the way my neighbors acted was extremely disrespectful. I don't really give a shit about my neighbors lives and wouldn't have any real interactions with them day to day, but I can't help that knowing what happened is going to change my demeanor with them from now on. I'd be more than happy to tell them off, but being so far removed from the incident I realize how petty it would look.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Inconsiderate neighbors were disrespectful to my folks, unknown to me. I recently had a friendly interaction with them that I feel conflicted about. How to proceed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30's F] with my office/work of 10 years, receiving constant unprofessional internal emails
POST: Hi all,
I need some external insight into this problem and figured you guys would be best. Yay reddit !
I have worked in a particular education office for almost 10 years. We were integrated into a larger department last year. In this time, we (my team) started receiving all the internal emails from this other departments mailing list.
We must be on the list, as meetings are sent through. I noticed shortly after our integration that we receive constant emails about people having kids, fridges being dirty/full of old food and raffles.
I went through the companies IT policies and these types of emails arent allowed.
The problem is, these emails are coming from the IT part of the company.
In a meeting late last year I told our boss that I dont want these kind of emails and they assured me there would be no more. The next day there were more !?!?! I took myself off the mailing list but the next day our entire team was told we MUST be on it. Several others in my team removed themselves from it too.
I get severe anxiety around children and the mention of children.
These emails are coming through constantly and it's affecting my work. I like this job, its cushy and easy but its becoming extremely stressful and I'm so anxious all the time now.
I have constructed an email to the manager of the policies but wondering what anyones thoughts might be on how to approach it?
TL;DR: | work emails system abused by same idiots sending messages about raffles, kids, non work related stuff. How to stop it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Biking home from work, sedan with 4 people threw a large soda at my head
POST: So the story starts out as me riding home from work at around 10 pm at night and I'm tired. As I'm waiting for the crosswalk to change lights, this old beat up sedan comes up to turn right next to me. It was 4 hispanic looking guys that came up snickering and asking me how much my bike was. I was tired and I just ignored them.
I guess I looked like I was glaring at them because I noticed after they turned laughing, they stopped to the right for a bit. I barely noticed and remembered their license plate. I was suspicious so I turned into a suburb looking area to try and get away from them.
After reaching a stop sign, I noticed a car was coming up fast behind me, fast for a suburban area. Next thing I knew, I noticed it was them again and they threw what seemed to be a large soda from mcdonalds at me ( or some kind of plastic like that). They drove away laughing.
Next, I noticed they were waiting in the dark with their lights off (I could see their brake lights were still on) and they let me pass them. They turned on their lights and drove really fast like earlier, this time I was thinking they were going to beat me up and take my bike or throw more stuff at me. They just sped up beside me and laughed, then I turned into another part of the suburb and hurried home.
I'm pretty sure I have their license plate and I don't know what to do with it.
TL;DR: | I was riding home and some guys in a car threw a large soda at my head. I was scared for my life and don't know what I should do with their license plate |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my _bf__ [25 M] are on one of those dreadful breaks, but wait more confusion from my first love
POST: I hate speaking about my personal issues and being vulnerable but here goes internet world...be gentle. welp.
I am currently on a break with my boyfriend. It has been about 3 weeks and we have been together for about 2 years. We are beginning to reach a point in seeing where we both stand in order to keep going. He is a 25 y/o male and I am a 23 y/o female. We both currently live in the same area due to school (East Coast). We both have different plans in what we want to do and where we want to go. I admit that I have not seen eye to eye with him and I don't want to force him into anything. He speaks of leaving to Chicago after graduation and I plan on leaving to Houston. We both have helped each other become better people and I feel like our bond is strong because of this so we are around each other regularly. As of lately, he has been distant and much more dry with me.
Due to his behaviors I am much more passive and don't seek him out. I want to begin thinking about the future and goals I have which includes Houston. By coincidence, I had a few friends put me in a chat with my first love and eventually he sent me a text message...leading to a conversation. I have kept my distance from my first love for years. I can recall the times we have spoken on my hand its very seldom. I had mentioned on moving to Houston and told me how great that was. Further into our conversation he admits that he misses me and would like to visit. This has got me to thinking that many of his times in speaking with me was to admit something to me but I have rejected his calls for a VERY long time. (He's a very proud guy to admit anything.) This person was my first love and it didn't exactly have an ending. The bond was very strong but family problems got in the way and it ended abruptly.
I haven't seen them in some time and I was going to go to see friends. Should I even...?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and I are on a break. We are being distant. I know we may not end up together. I am moving soon. My first love wants to hang out. Should I even bother? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend[23 F] broke up with me [20 M] and I'm not sure what's going on
POST: So we have been together for 2 years and a couple weeks ago due to our situations she had to move back home which is a couple hours drive from where I live. We knew this was going to happen so we talked about what would work for us. I told her that I wanted to be there for her no matter what but it seemed like she made up her mind that we were just going to be friends from now on and during this she mentioned that we should focus on ourselves. This was sorta mutual because we been having a great relationship and I wanted to give a longer distance relationship a try. But I could tell that she had made up her mind. The past week that she has moved back home I will admit that it has been hard not send her texts like I love you, your so amazing, and such because I'm not over her yet but I'm feeling like she is ready to move on. Also since I'm a student and generally busy I have been getting into a routine so I don't always text her back within an hour (I mention this is because she complained about it to me), so I miss her but I realize that it has been nice to be able to focus on what I need to be successful instead of focusing on her so much (starting to move on). The reason I decided to post this was because she decided to change her fb statues to single a couple days ago and has sorta been cold with me but tonight we were texting and then she texted me "You still love me?/It's been harder than I thought". So now I'm really confused about what our relationship is (friends/more than that) and what I should do.
TL;DR: | My ex-girlfriend has been giving me mixed signals about whether we are friends or more than that and I don't know what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Why did my ex just stop by to see me for a few min and tell me I can text her before 4pm m-f but not too much because she loves her bf?
POST: I am 28 my ex is 25 we dated on and off for almost 4 years. I'll be honest we had a really rough relationship. I've never not been cheated on so I wouldn't commit to her like I should have. As soon as I found out she kissed someone else during our "pretty much" relationship I slept with someone else. While doing this my roommate let her into the apt (he hated her) and she walked in on it. We had a love/hate relationship and slept with each other on and off a few times a month for about 2 years after. As soon as she graduated and got a job an hour and half away I realized I really did love her and tried to patch things up. I visited her every weekend and she visited me, I even ruined the current "fling" I was in for her. Then I found out she was dating someone else and she told me she was in love with him. We have talked only a few times in the past 8 months, basically so she could tell me how much I messed up everything we could have had and how wonderful her new bf is, how much she loves him, and how he does everything I should have done. Now this afternoon she comes and visits me because she is in town for her grandpa's funeral, and because I love her of course I wanted to see her too and told her she could come over. Why reddit does she do this to me?
TL;DR: | ! Gf visits me to tell me how great everything is and how much I messed up but tells me to text her when she isn't with her bf |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23M] ex gf[22F] is my best friend, her new bf [22-24M] doesn't want her being friends with me.
POST: Hello all.
Long story short, met this girl in college, she fell in love with me pretty early on but unfortunately my love for her didn't come until later in the relationship. By the time I realized I was in love with her, she started losing her love for me. She broke up with me, it was very hard because I was in love with her and she, although was no longer in love with me, still very much cared about me. We dated for a year and a half.
We took some time where we didn't see each other much but we still communicated a bit through text.
We then started talking again and hanging out. We pretty much consider each other best friends now.
Fast forward to about a year after our breakup and she's started dating this other guy. She didn't tell me at first but I knew something was going on.
She called me one night asking to come over...she comes over crying and admits that she has been dating someone else for a few weeks now (she's also broken up with him once already during these few weeks). She told her new bf about me, that I am her ex bf but more importantly I was her best friend. New bf got angry at her and pretty much said "him or me". I was upset because I thought I was about to lose her again (in a different sense than the first time). She tells me she is unsure of what to do.
It's been a week since we had that conversation and she's said that she has avoided bringing up the subject with her bf...
Thoughts? I obviously don't want to lose someone I very much care about. Should I say something more direct to her? Idk if that's my place to say something along the lines of "hey choose me, I'm your best friend, reason a b c d etc etc."
#
TL;DR: | Ex gf is my best friend, she's started dating someone else, new bf told her "him or me" |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I turned 18, mom suggested a student loan company to get me through school, I'm being crushed under thousands of dollars in unsubsidized debt because of something stupid my mother advised. How have your parents ruined your life?
POST: In 2007 I took out a student loan, there was no way my family would ever be able to pay for me to go to college; and I was accepted into three fairly decent ones, I went for the cheapest. I am the first in my family to attend a community college (and then Uni) on my mother's side, and on my father's side the first to graduate high school. I have an associates degree, 30k didn't go far when I was using it to pay (family) bills.
Running into unfamiliar, murky territory I signed a contract and took on 30,000 dollars in unsubsidized debt through AES. I didn't know you're supposed to make payments on the interest as you go, or that my loan was even accruing interest while I was in school, the company sent letters and everything was bolded saying "THIS IS NOT A BILL!" So now my 30,000 has turned into 47,000 (which will turn into more capital to gain interest) and it's estimated to cost me in the long run far more.
TL;DR: | My mom advised me to take out debt I would in no way be able to start paying on in five years. I don't know where to go from here, $400and up payments a month. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25M] am sick and tired of a manager's [40 to 50F] shit. What do I do?
POST: Hi reddit,
So I've been at this job for 1.5 years full-time and 2 years prior during my University years and have continually dealt with this particular manager's bullshit (I work for the Canadian federal government). As a background, I'm an accountant and works in operations whereas this manager is a manager of a small back office but they do interact with my division on the daily.
So to start off, when I was first hired (from student to full-time), I wasn't well received as some people were quite upset that I was hired in this particular position seeing as most people start off in a different position that's kind of lower (the job itself is basically the same just the title is different). So from that start I was already being picked on (this attitude was received by the others who were hired at the same time) . During this time, I've probably had two complaints were I came up in management's emails for complaints about attitude from this female bitch (I was admittedly wrong the first time but the second time I wasn't even present/involved).
Now, I've just received another complaint where apparently I took too long of a coffee break in both the early mornings and afternoon and I take too long of lunchs (a few of my coworkers go on break in the lunch room and eat lunch there as well). On average I go about once a week for coffee breaks and probably once every 2 weeks eating in the lunchroom. Again, I'm not even there 90% of the time and yet I'm being picked on again. I'm really annoyed because after the 1st time, I realized that I have this pretty decent job and I don't want to screw it up yet this bitch of a manager who's not even MY manager is still on my ass even though I pretty damn low profile.
So reddit, how do you deal with this type of 'office politics' bs? I can file a grievance but that's a career limiting move.
TL;DR: | a Manager who's not my manager likes to complain about me even though I've been really low profile for quite a while. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23f) don't know what to do after a 4 year relationship break up.
POST: Hello everyone,
My ex and I dated for 4 years. We fought a lot but we love each other even more. A week and half ago we decided to end it because he's been treating me really badly and I cried almost every night. We're still friends and he said he still cares about me a lot, he said he will be there in a heartbeat when I need him. The first week he would text me and ask me about my days and when he make trips to drop off my stuff he would stay and talk to comfort me.
I only have 2 girls I can go to for support and they both work a lot and they don't really know what to say or do for me. I recently realize that my ex was already actively looking for another gf. He's been out to parties and when we go out for dinner as friends he won't be talking to me, he would be texting a girl instead and I know he is because I can see the names on his phone when it vibrates. What do I do? I'm still deeply hurt it's only been a week and half. I don't know what I'll do if I see him with another girl... I know I have no rights to say or do anything cause we broke up but I was hoping he would consider my feelings and not be searching already. I feel like the 4 years we've spend together ment nothing to him already and I mean nothing to him so soon. What should I do?
TL;DR: | dated my ex for 4 years, still friends. A week and half after break up he is actively looking maybe seeing someone. I feel hurt and abandoned what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: After 18 months, I still want her...
POST: This story will probably sound really lame to most of you, but I'm pretty lost right now. Two and a half years ago, my freshman year in college I was a huge gamer. I had been playing WoW with the same group of people for 3 years at that point. One of these people was a girl, one of my closest "e-friends". Over the course of those three years we had gotten closer and closer, eventually leading up to a long-distance relationship starting my freshman year.
The relationship lasted a year, we had some really fun times and we also had our fair share of fights. To sum up 90% of these fights: she wouldn't want to talk to me on the phone/said she would call me and never did, I would rage and she would make me feel like shit by telling me that I'm making her feel like shit. Etc, etc.
Eventually these fights led to her ending it, saying she couldn't take it anymore (she was always the one to want to be left alone during fights, I was always the one to want to tackle problems head on). 18 months have passed since then, we still talk regularly as friends (she's made that very clear) but this is where I'm stuck.
During the relationship and currently we were/are both virgins. We had talked about being each others firsts many, many, many times. In her previous relationships, one of which lasted two years, she declined to lose her virginity. The thought of her and myself losing that to someone else honestly makes me sick. I still love her, I know her better than any of her other friends by far and I can usually predict her reactions/feelings on things but this one thing just throws me for a loop. If she felt strongly enough to want to be that close to me during the relationship, why does she feel so strongly now against not wanting anything to do with me romantically? The two times I've asked her this question since we broke up I've been told, "I don't know..." followed by either a quick subject change or her just flat out ignoring me for the rest of the day.
TL;DR: | How can someones feelings towards you change to complete polar opposites and why would the thought of her with someone else still make me nauseous and anxious after almost two years? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can you know if it's over?
POST: Hi guys and gals,
My gf(26) and I(29) have been together for a little more than 2 years. We live together since about a year, and I fell into a deep depression for the past 8 months. It has been awfully hard for her and she has been very patient for a long time, but now she can't handle it anymore. I'm feeling good now, I'm on recovery road and all, but our relationship took a hard hit (barely no sex life for the past 8months...) and she is fleeing; she doesn't know how to deal so she is just always away. We had a talk a few weeks ago and decided to make time in our schedule to spend time together, as we only saw each other when we slept. However, something is missing.
There is no spark anymore. Since she is constantly gone, she doesn't do anything in the house and I can't do it all by myself. If I ask her or comment on it she snaps. So our time together is often tense and I feel guilty all the time for putting her through this.
We do have nice moments and kiss eachother goodbye and stuff, but it's like something is missing. And I don't know if it will come back/if we want to work on getting it back. I feel like we've given up on it and are just too scared to take a move.
The thing is, we are so invested in eachothers' life. My friends and family love her and became her friend and same thing for me. We live together and adopted a cat and kind of put everything together (yes, we're hopeful romantics). We have so much invested in our mutual life, losing this seems awful.
I can't speak for her, as I am not in her mind, but I'm sure she doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore, as we are both unhappy. She really wishes things would get back to the first year we spent together. We're not miserable, but not so happy - or not happy at a decent amount of time enough. We do care for eachother though.
I'm sorry if this is all very confuse. I am myself. I don't know what to do or who to turn to since we share so much of our friends...
TL;DR: | I'm depressed, my gf is longing for the beginnings, now we are drifting apart. We care for eachother, but something seems broken. Don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20m] have been seeing a friend[20f] for about a month and have become interested in her, but I'm not sure her interest is there, should I tell her how I feel?
POST: So I've been seeing a girl who lives in my complex for only a short while, about a month or so at this point. We regularly see each other and have been hanging out at night watching tv together for the past couple of nights. Usually when we see each other shes the one to contact me, either to go out for a smoke(how we met) or watch tv. She invited me to a concert later in the week and of course I agreed.
All in all its a great friendship but I'm starting to feel a little bit more and I want to share my feelings, but here's the clincher. She's told me she uses tinder to meet people and the last time we hung out she told me shes going on a date. This makes me feel like her interest in me isn't the same as mine in her.
I want to tell her how I feel before her sights move on to someone else (I'm afraid that if I don't make a move she just might move back to tinder). I feel like I should tell her how I feel before her date, but then I feel like I would be interfering with her life at that point. I'm also afraid of telling her how I feel before this concert (which would be a two hour drive to get to and then back) and if I tell her how I feel then the concert might end up a bad situation.
I guess I'm asking if I should tell her how I feel at all or just wait for her interest(shes very much the forward type in how shes always asking me to hang out and based on this I think if she were interested she wouldn't be afraid to tell me)?
Thanks for any help you can give me.
TL;DR: | been hanging with a friend regularly for the last month and have developed feelings for her. Im not sure her interest is there and I'm wondering if I should tell her how I feel or wait for signs of her interest. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by peeing in a stairway
POST: Like many stories here, this happened years ago.
Back in the day when I attended summer school for SAT's I'd usually hold my piss for until class ended. But for some odd reason, the fucktard of an instructor held us in until the school itself closed, and I was left with what felt like a gallon of piss. the summer school was located in the eighth floor of a building, and I went down to the first to ask the security for the public bathroom key. He said he didn't have one, which I knew was complete bullshit, so I said Fuck it and waited for my ride back home outside. Traffic was really bad that day, so the stream just wanted to let loose. So and behold, there was a stairway that led to the parking lot downstairs to a parking lot with one of those water drains. I hold that door to the parking lot shut, and released the waterfall. I couldn't stop and I knew some bad shit was imminent. And of course, the Mexican security guard that lied to mr comes out and says 'Ey muddy fuker, that shits illegal, wait here for me to call the cops". AS IF. I sprinted all the way home (probably a good 2 miles) and had pants semi drenched in piss. My pops couldn't stop laughing and my mom nearly killed me. After that day, I never went back to the after school.
TL;DR: | there was no bathroom so I pissed in a stairway. Security told me to wait so he can call the cops, I booked it, and made a memory that makes me LOL every time I think of it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with the craigslist poster [40-50F] who sold me a kitten 6 weeks ago: I had to put down the kitten today, how can I politely suggest that she spay the mother?
POST: Hi, /r/relationships. Today's a rough day for me, as I'm putting down a 3 month old kitten. He was born happy and healthy as far as anyone could tell, but during his growth spurts, he began to miss developmental milestones.
Some of his problems include: vertebral deformities with potential impacts on his spinal cord, narrow hips which compress his bladder and colon, and skeletal deformities causing inconsistencies in bone size and shape. He looks like a little tank, with short (non-munchkin) legs, wideset in the front, and narrower back legs, and a huge ballooning stomach because he can no longer empty his colon.
I want to contact the poster, I still have her phone number, and tactfully tell her the fate of this kitten, one of three in his litter. Typically, cats have large litters because each individual kitten isn't always expected to live very long. However, I'm concerned that a middle aged cat having a litter of three, one of which is already dead, could only really have more "defective" kittens. I just want to be tactful if I contact her.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Had to put down a 3 month old kitten because of congenital defects, I want to suggest that the mother of the kitten is spayed as politely as possible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I've(m/25) been seeing a girl(f/23) for three weeks now and really like her. Just found out I'm going overseas for 4 months in August.
POST: I think we have really good chemistry and she's definitely the kind of girl I'd like to be with who recognizes equality with a relationship. From what I've seen at least.
I feel like I'd be putting a heavy weight on our relationship really early to ask her to wait for me for 4 months. Not to mention we haven't known each other long enough for a large amount of trust to be built. On top of that she's going on a family vacation for 3 weeks over the next 2 months. I would really like for this to work but I don't want to scare her away. Planning on talking to her the next time I see her.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did it go?
TL;DR: | Met a girl I really like. Leaving in August for 4 months and she's going to be gone quite a while up until then. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [20 M] just now feeling depressed about a break up with my now ex-girlfriend [17 F] after a few weeks, we just kind of grew apart...
POST: Ok, over the summer I started dating this girl who is now a senior high school and I'm finishing my first year of college. The relationship was strong until school came back around and got in the way. I have college and a job to worry about when she has finishing high school and extra curriculars to worry about. Our schedules started to clash and she started to get stressed with some drama with a person at school, she and I became kind of distant.
After awhile i started to wait for the text to break up, eventually we did, not on bad terms just that we both have other things to worry about, and she said that she wasn't quite ready for a boy friend right now.
I was Ok with this break up until now, weeks later I still very much care about her, and i still really want this relationship with her. Just thinking about it makes me feel down...
TL;DR: | A girl and I where way to busy for a relationship so we broke up, and I still care about her very much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29M] with my best friend [28F] putting up the facade of our lives because she's seeing someone else. We might hit up Vegas and elope.
POST: So here goes. This needs to get off my chest. She is extraordinarily special to me, on the level of "this is probably the love of my life." 1 month since we confessed that we didn't want to ever leave each other's side. She's broken up with and gotten back with her boyfriend 2-3 times since then. We've been doing this about 4 months total.
She has committed to writing me a compliment a day for an entire year, which she puts in little blue envelopes and delivers to me weekly. They are tiny, origami-like things and no one has ever done anything this romantic for me. In return, she often gets poems I write her and her favorite flowers.
She bought me champagne and chocolates for my birthday. Her mom likes me more than the guy she's with. Her mom and her talk openly about how she'll have to leave the other guy eventually if she keeps this thing with me going, because he's going to find out.
We spend large parts of the weekdays together, doing frivolous things. We're both environmentalists, so we go clean parks together sometimes.
Everything physical is exhilarating, even sleeping beside her. It feels so innocuous, even though we have to keep it such a secret.
Her boyfriend, herself, some of her family and I are having dinner later. It's rather tortuous to be around both of them and to put up a big facade. She has jokingly chosen a dress to wear in front of Elvis "when we go to Vegas," which we have seriously discussed.
It feels like all of this is going to go one of two directions. A) We run away together / I propose. B) I never see her again because of how much it hurts to see her with someone else.
Any and all advice wanted. Is this something of a delusional relationship?
TL;DR: | We're either eloping or we're not and she's being ridiculously romantic and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (21/f) My boyfriend (24/m) of 3 years has confessed that I am no longer as high of a priority.
POST: My boyfriend and I were friends 5+ years before deciding to be in a committed relationship. We have now been together for almost 3 years. During our relationship we have gone from living an hour away from each other, to practically living together, to living 5 minutes away, and as of a month ago we live an hour away again due to his job and my school situation.
Moving so far apart again has begin to cause problems because I feel like I am getting almost no attention when he is outside of work. I feel that his video games are honestly more important, lately. When I brought this up in a discussion yesterday, it sparked a huge blow out. He stated that I am being needy. I feel that if you tell someone you are going to call them but spend 4+ hours playing video games every night instead, what does that say about how you feel about me?
We have had issues previously but nothing to this extent. Today I was probably still a little too emotional and was upset that he didn't call during his lunch break like he normally does considering our conversation the night previous. After a long screaming phone conversation and a conversation about his priorities, he admitted that if it came down to me or his job, he would choose his job.
Now please understand that he has only been at this job for less than 6 months (he had a lot of trouble finding a steady job during the rest of our relationship) but he is highly skilled and has already been offered a promotion. Previously we both did everything in our means to make this relationship work and would do anything for one another. When he was recently offered a position to move 8 hours away though, he told me that if I was not willing to go, it would probably be the end to us. The promotion fell through so that is no longer a question, but now I am wondering what this says about our relationship.
I'm heartbroken after everything we have been through. Please help - Am I overreacting?!
TL;DR: | long time bf and I previously did everything to make relationship work, but since getting a new job my boyfriend has decided that the job in more important than our relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23F) have recently moved in with my boyfriend (29M) but have fallen into the trap of not being social.
POST: I'll start off saying our relationship (of a year plus a complicated two years before that) is great and I'm very happy and in love with my boyfriend.
I moved interstate six months ago and he followed me. We moved in together a month ago and it's going great. We're very relaxed, care-free and similar-minded.
However he's not a very outgoing guy/is quite happy not going out apart from social sport and the occasional catch up with a friend (mind you we don't have too many given we're in a new city). Also he doesn't drink and he hates parties. I drink socially sometimes, and to be honest I love to stay home and watch TV/chill out anyway, but the thing is I'm finding I'm opting to stay in with him a lot more than I used to, instead of accepting offers to go out from the few friends I've made here.
Part of me is doing it out comfort/laziness, and the other this feeling of not wanting to ditch him. I know that's silly because he's totally happy with me doing stuff without him, also he prefers not to come along if it's a party given his nature, plus we live together so it's not like we don't ever see each other.
But I'm finding my social life is suffering and my ability to meet people in a new city is difficult. I worry that should something happen and we break up I'll have no support base/friendships.
Have you been in a similar situation? How did you manage to step out of you comfort zone?
TL;DR: | How do I get out of the lazy trap of staying in with my boyfriend all the time instead of going out with friends/meeting people |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: "Fiance" of a year disappeared to Missouri and I found out that he is a compulsive liar. Now I am unsure as to what I should do.
POST: My "Fiance" of a year had to go to Missouri to help his Mom move and to help his Dad move a vehicle down to that area. Or so he said. He has been known to be a bit of a compulsive liar, for no given reason (or at least not an obvious one) and he also tends to disappear without any communication for a while. However, he had not done any of this for nearly 9 months. We were living together and recently got a puppy. Also, what we had seemed real. I considered him to be my life partner, and he said the same. He was very clingy most of the time, and always wanted me around him. He also lied about having a few jobs and promised to pay rent...and then he just left without doing so. I told him to promise that he'd keep in contact with me, and he did promise. However he did not communicate or anything for 5 days. When I did hear from him, he called me and seemed very upset. He told me that his Dad had been beating him in a locked room and that he no longer had his phone. Then, immediately, asked me if I wanted to Skype. That kind of threw me off because if you're locked in a room and had to 'steal' your phone back...how are you allowed to Skype? Then, when I talked to his brother about this out of curiosity, he stated that my "Fiance" was a compulsive liar. A lot of things are starting to hit me and I don't know if I'm just being naive or if I'm being a jerk. He has definitely shown me that he loves me many times...but it now feels as if he used me for a place to live, food, and whatever else. I also feel very alone and I don't want for this to be over, but I am pretty sure that for the best, it should end. Maybe you guys can give me some light on this situation or another perspective. There is a lot more to this story, but it would be a novel.
TL;DR: | Love of my life disappeared and is now acting on his compulsive lying disorder. I do not know whether I should help him or ditch him. I also don't want to ditch him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I weird for not wanting to date? [18 M]
POST: I'm 18 years old, just graduated, I don't really ever want to date. I've only had one real relationship and that was in 7th grade (which, I agree, isn't saying much). i'm incredibly introverted, but I'm told i'm a cool guy, and my close friends always invite me out to do stuff. Recently, one of female friends told me that she likes me, and I kinda like her, so i agreed to date her. i'm having second thoughts about the whole thing, mainly because i don't like the pressure of dating. This sounds incredibly selfish to me, but I don't really want to deal with anyone else's feelings when I don't totally have a grasp on my own. Plus, my parents don't like her that much, due to her not being a nice Mormon girl.
TL;DR: | I'm not comfortable with the idea and pressures of dating and i don't know if I'll ever be ready. Is it okay to not date? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with guy I dated [30M], ask him what went wrong?
POST: I wanted to know if this would be a bad idea. I had 2 dates with this guy, and he seemed really into me. We met at a bar where he asked for my number. He wanted to plan a second date (dinner and a movie) right after the first date (which was drinks and dinner). I thought we had a good time. However, mid-way during the second date, he seemed less enthused about being with me, and I'm wondering if I did something to offend him. One thing that might've bothered him is that I let him pay for the dinner (it was ~$100) because he insisted on paying during the first date. I verbally thanked him for dinner, but maybe he felt like I was taking advantage of him?
I didn't hear from him again, and decided to send him a text to ask him how his weekend was. I got one word in response. Would it be okay for me to ask him if I did something? Or just assume he's not into me? It's so strange because he seemed so excited about me.
TL;DR: | We went on 2 dates and he seemed really excited about me, but then did a complete 180. I want to ask him if I did something wrong, or he's just not interested. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (f/18) don't feel the same about my boyfriend (m/20)
POST: We dated for one and a half years, I broke up with him and was single in May then got back together around Halloween. Now things don't feel the same. He moved to Utah, Im from California, in November and honestly getting that distance was a little nice, he easily overwhelms me sometimes, is head over heels in love with me and is more emotional than I am. But now whenever he texts me or calls me I'm not excited. I'm either neutral or annoyed by it. And he doesnt have me chase him, he never gives me that chance because hes always telling me how he loves me and always cheerful to talk to me, its just no fun. Girls love to chase guys but being borderline worshipped gets overwhelming.
He's coming to visit Sunday and I'm not sure if I can make myself happy enough when I see him that will not make him question anything. I feel not crazily excited and he'll take that in a bad way.
TL;DR: | LDR boyfriend is coming for visit and I'm not crazy excited like he is, is there something wrong with me? Is this a sign that we should break up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend (18F) of over three years is afraid she's missing out on someone else, what can I do? (21M)
POST: We have been together for over three years now. I've fallen head over heels for her for quite a while now, but last night she told me she's afraid about our future. I have been her only boyfriend, and she told me she has been stressing about what if I'm not meant for her because she's never had anyone else. She says she doesn't think like this when we are physically together, but unfortunately that's only two times a week at most (different colleges). She says she still loves me, and I can tell it hurts her so much to tell me something like this. She told me it's not because of anything I've ever done to her, which honestly left me feeling even more confused and helpless with what I can do. We are meeting on Tuesday to talk more, and have decided not to talk to each other today. Today has been one of the worst days of my life, I feel like Floyd Mayweather punched me straight through the gut. I already miss her so much. Please don't think we're just typical immature people and say to just quit and move on. This girl has been my best friend for such a long time, and the one person I feel 100% comfortable around. I was hoping someone maybe has gone through something like this and could fill me in on what I should do, maybe how she's feeling, and whatever helpful advice you have. I'm not sure how much background info to include, if I need to put more on just let me know.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend of three years is worried I'm not the one for her since I'm the only boyfriend she's ever had, what can I do and what have you done? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, I'm needs some advice about businesses and shares
POST: I began working for this company (a franchise-to-be restaurant) about 4.5 years ago. I started at a dish washer while still in college, but now I am more of an assistant to the owner. I take care of all the marketing (website, print, LCD screens, menus etc) as well as work in the restaurants on a daily basis.
About 1.5 years ago, I felt that I was working too hard and not getting compensated enough - so I wrote a nice letter stating me resignation. He responded early next morning with a breakfast meeting and gave me a raise (from about 35,000 to 45,000) and offered me 5% of the company. Being naive and stupid, I took the deal. I never asked for the shares certificate or anything like that and that's what worries me now. I only ever saw a photocopy of it which he presumably keeps with the account whom I have never met.
What I need some advice on is whether or not its worth bringing up that I would like to have the shares certificate in my possession. Since it's a private company, what can I do with the shares? and if I were to leave the company, how would that affect my ownership (and would I be entitled to a severance package?)
Thanks everyone... I'm in Canada btw, if that make a difference.
TL;DR: | Was given shares in a private company but i don't have the shares certificate in my hands. What should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guilt from [20] gf. I am [21] male
POST: Hey, this is a bit weird. When I get home at night, I like to get on my computer, or lay on the couch with my gf. However, when I do lay down on the couch, she constantly jumps on me, tickles me, etc. and I get frustrated. I'm tired, I do spend time with her, during my days off, and evenings I get off early. But she always makes me feel bad that I don't like to play like that all the time.
Note: I wake up several hours before her, and she sleeps several hours after me(unless she keeps me up)
To be honest I don't really like that at all. She also will kiss me over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. On my cheek, or ear, or neck, whatever. But it makes her feel awful when I tell her I don't like that and it gets on my nerves. I know this sounds very First world problemy, but its something that does bother me.
Am I wrong to feel this way?
TL;DR: | GF of about 1.5 years constantly wants to pick or play, I don't. I feel bad for it and she makes me feel bad for it, should I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [15 M] have had a crush on a girl [15 F] for months, and now she's going to a different school
POST: So, I'm not confident. I can fake it, on a stage or something, but in real-life situations, I freeze. I've had a crush on a good friend of mine for a few months now, and I haven't told her out of fear of both rejection and our friendship being ruined. A (former) friend of mine had a crush on her last year, and was *obsessed*. He did some really shifty shit and found out her phone number, kik, etc.. I was one of the people who told him to cool his jets and helped her feel less uncomfortable about the whole situation. I tought her how to block the number and such.
I sat next to her in math class for that whole year, and became good friends with her. This year we were seated next to each other again (it's alphabetic based on last name) and we talked a lot, and she gave me her number and we text here and there, but mostly we talk face to face.
And now I've gone and f---ing fallen for her.
I don't want to lead our friendship into awkwardness. But at the same time, I want to tell her and get it off my chest. Just typing this makes me anxious (*Please, for the love of god, don't have a reddit!*). I don't want to make it weird after last year's fiasco. But next year, she's going to a different school. Do I tell her at the end of the school year, and basically get rejection out of the way before summer and not have to deal with the awkwardness in September? Do I keep her unaware? There's that 1% chance that she says yes, but there's a decent chance that I'm going to make things weird.
TL;DR: | Fell for a friend, don't want to make our friendship weird, and now she's going to a different school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife [28F] is miserable due to my [32M] wish to delay having children.
POST: We have been Married for a few years. Together for just over 10.
Like everyone else, we have our ups and downs (Mostly ups!) but lately things are spiraling downhill fast due to her desire to have children.
I always seem to be on a much slower pace when it comes to big decisions than her. She has been ready since we got Married to have children. I have been reluctant. I was concerned about not being financially stable enough. This past year She has lost all patience with me and will become very upset with the smallest of issues.
To compound the problem, everyone in her world is pregnant or has had children. Her youngest sister and best friend are pregnant. 2 of her co-workers are also pregnant. Right now the world seems to be flaunting what she wants that I am solely responsible for denying her.
Last night she said "If you loved me enough, you would want to have a baby with me".....
I do.
This past year I was promoted at work and so was she. We now make a very comfortable living where we have excess cash (on top of savings, and retirement stuff). I am happy now. I want to enjoy this moment in our lives before we take on a huge responsibility both financially and emotionally. She cant seem to find happiness without this.
What the hell do I do? She wants me to want this -and I do want children, but she wont be happy until we do.... Anyone go through this?
TL;DR: | Wife wants the baby, she wants the baby now. I wanted to wait. Wife resents the hell out of me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [18F] almost positive that my boyfriend [20M] is in love (and possibly cheating on me) with another woman. [20F]
POST: So my boyfriend and I have been dating on-and-off for two years now. Our relationship has been pretty good, but some things have come to light that I'm not so comfortable with.
Basically, my boyfriend has this close friend that he dated years before me; she dumped him back in high school and has been with her now boyfriend for many years but has a history of infidelity. Every time she comes into town, he basically drops off the face of the earth and they catch up until she goes back to college.
During a recent (and our only) break, he spent about a week with her, sleeping at her place, and she posted pictures of them going out to dinner, hanging out, etc. I didn't think too much of it at the time, obviously. I figured they were just hanging out as friends. He later admitted to me that he was hoping to rekindle something between them during this time.
When we started seeing each other again, she asked him to be her date to a wedding this past December. He agreed. I was not invited to the wedding so I don't know what happened there, but according to a few of my friends who were there, they kept sneaking off to be alone and danced pretty intimately in front of everyone.
Every time I ask him about her, he tells me that she's not even that good of a friend, and they only hang out because she nags him about it whenever she's in town.
I've checked his phone and Facebook since then, because obviously these rumors make me nervous, and there are no threads between them. None. At all. These are two people who are immensely close, and I can't even find a single message for how often they are in contact.
I've never had a reason not to trust him until now, he's never cheated on me or lied (that I know of) before.
Am I just being paranoid? Should I bring this stuff up? What should I do?
TL;DR: | I have reason to suspect that my boyfriend is in love and maybe even cheating on me with his close friend from high school, but I have no physical proof other than what I've been told. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Open invitation to work for company I'm interning for but "not an official job offer?"
POST: So last night, I had dinner with my mentor (the director of graphic design) and the art director of the company I'm interning for. I had requested this meeting in order to talk about their paths after graduating, get some advice and critique of my work, and to find out where I stand with the company.
When I asked, they said that everyone at the company loves me and I've been awesome to work with and I have an open invitation to work with them. It was along the lines of "you'll definitely be hired if you want the job." That they'll definitely be happy to have me back and I'll probably even be paid more than other incoming designers because they already worked with me and know what I'm capable of.
This morning, I got a Skype from my mentor saying that she had a wonderful time last night. And "And just so we're clear, that wasn't an official job offer - but if you do decide to move back here, we will do our best to try to hire you."
What should I take from this? My internship ends in about a month. I'm going back to school for one year and then I wanted to come right back in May, after I graduate. However, I also know that until I sign something, I should take it as not being hired. I love the company I'm working for. I don't want to apply for other companies and seemingly blow them off. But not being officially hired worries me.
I still have a month to go and I plan on still helping out remotely until I start my classes in September. I also plan on keeping contact with everyone at the company. What's the best course of action to take? I don't want to move out here and be told haha jk, you're unemployed.
TL;DR: | Was told I had an open invitation to come back to work for company I'm interning for, then told the next day that "it wasn't an official job offer." |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[21F] SO[22M] recently started smoking pot and I'm trying to get used to it.
POST: I'm a 21f, he's a 22m and we've been together for almost 6 years. We don't live together.
I'll preface by saying that I have nothing against smoking weed, it's just something that I'm not interested in doing right now. My SO recently started smoking, and while it doesn't make me angry or upset I feel uncomfortable with the idea of him smoking.
We've talked about it a bunch and have put our feelings out on the table about it. He knows it makes me uncomfortable and says that before he started smoking he felt the same way about people he knew who smoked. We talked a lot about how I felt with him being high when I'm sober, how he feels about smoking in large group settings, etc. He's smoking atm, and it'll be the first time I've ever been with him while he's high.
I was just wondering if there were any other couples in the same position (one who smokes, one who doesn't) and if they felt the same initially, if it went away over time, etc. I want to support him doing it recreationally and would like for him to be able to enjoy it without worrying about me being uncomfortable.
TL;DR: | SO smokes, I don't. I would like some insight on how to bridge the gap between feeling uncomfortable about him smoking and get to the point where it doesn't bother me at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[23F] SO[27M]'s friend[23F] is overstepping a huge boundary and flirting loads. What's my place?
POST: For a short back story on my SO and I, we have been together for four years with a year long break up inbetween. everything has been going well and the reason we broke up before was due to put lack of communication. Now we're very up front with each other.
Now there's no miscommunication on my existence now as I've hung out with them multiple times in the past few months - though his friend Karen always ignored my presence when I would speak and give me the side eye. So today, he tells me Karen texts him and says "Hey, I'm single now. Take me out on a date". He says "Uh you know I'm dating OP" and she says "well, I'm cuter than OP, and much better than her. You know you'll regret not doing me".
She keeps coming onto him very strongly. Saying things like that. Now she's in his very close group of friends. He says he's denying her. At first I said "ok, I trust you." But now I'm really pissed off because of one of my friends did that - we WOULDNT be friends anymore. That's so disrespectful. What can I really say here? I don't want to come off as controlling but that's so shady. Am I being overbearing by saying I really would prefer if they weren't friends now due to her constantly coming on to him?
TL;DR: | SO's friend is the snarky sneaky devil and is trying to do him regardless of my existence. What am I supposed to say? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit: where should I move in the US and why?
POST: Some background details:
* I'm about to graduate college (ultrasound degree) and need to start applying for jobs. Wherever I get a job I will move to, but I would like reddit's opinion on where I should apply and why.
* I'm a 25 year old single female. I like bike riding, kayaking, jetskiing, and hiking activities. I bar hop and club very rarely.
* Like most career students, I have massive amounts of student loans, so I need an area that the cost of living isn't too high.
* If this matters, my starting salary depending on where I go ranges from $45k-$65k a year.
* I have a car so I don't need an area that has mass transit.
TL;DR: | I'm graduating and moving soon. What are good places around the US to move to that the cost of living isn't too high? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [M22]with my brother[M15]and sister [F15] are having a hard time dealing with our dad[D47]I think he's emotional abusing us
POST: I have no idea how I'm going to explain this so I will just try my best sorry.
This has been going on all our lives.
He has been like this all his life and I think thats why our mother left him. Somedays he can be happy and after a few hours or a day he can be angry and force his angry onto us for no reason.
Whenever you have an argument when him you cannot convince him even if you're right or trying to calm him down you just have to wait till he calms down by himself like 2 weeks ago when I quitted school and took my exam we had a party at my grandma and granddads place my mom wanted to bring her relatives on her side and ofcourse I wanted that and said yes and my dads relatives came to and ofcourse I'm okay with that.
But my dad weren't. There's one person he hates on my mothers side and literally stayed home and didn't go to my exam party and it's hurting me a lot and I have no idea how to even bring it up with him it will just go nowhere since he can never say sorry or anything like that.
Example one of his angry moments today:
Our internet has been dropping a lot this weekend and my father has told me to change settings in the router to see if it gets better and I haven't, and today he got mad about it and turned his anger towards us for no reason.
Now he switched router and said he cannot watch TV because of the new router and blames me for not changing the settings
which he can easy do by himself.
I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Whenever my dad gets mad of something he always gets mad at us and even blame us a lot and he's selfish a lot and he can never lose an argument because you cannot convince him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: When should I (30/M) ask her (28/F) to be my girlfriend?
POST: Hi guys and gals,
I need help finding the right direction.
It has been about 10 years I have dated someone new, and so I am bit out of practice. I did managed to get four dates with the a girl that I really like. From the first date till now, I am usually the person who initiate the text/call- when I do text/call she does carry the conversation.
I am not sure what is the next step from here, because she doesn't really shows the same reaction that I do, like I call/text her, make an effort to plan out our dates. Maybe above all, I might be placed in a friend-zone. I did tell her that I miss her before, so I assume she knows that I am interested. I might be over-thinking this, any inputs/opinions are greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | Went on four dates already, but I am not sure when I should ask her to be my girlfriend or what is the next step? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23f] think I left my fiancé [26m] last night and I'm not sure I made the right decision
POST: My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years, got engaged in June. We've had a seemingly good relationship. We've had our fair share of fights but have always gotten through them. We've also had a great amount of good times together.
We share the same views, want to move to the same area, and have very similar life goals.
I have low libido and sex is a very important to him. He's been very patient with me and we both give and take in this area.
We're both messy but its not something that I think an engagement should be ended over.
You see, I don't have a very good reason on why I want to break the engagement. He's good to me, complements me daily and takes care of me. But I just feel like theres something missing. I don't know what it is or if I'll ever find it it someone else.
I've tried to talk to him about it in the past, but his solution is always that we need more sex to feel connected, but I don't want sex until I feel emotionally connected.
Finally, last night I went to dinner with my mom and for the first time talked about my doubts with someone other than my fiancé. The feeling that I wasn't ready to get married was so strong. I drove around for an hour preparing myself to go home and finally, I come home to my fiancé waiting for a hug and just completely break down crying. Our conversation was less than 10 minutes, he just doesn't understand why I'm not ready.
Am I completely crazy for leaving behind what could be a good future off a hunch?
TL;DR: | I left my good-guy fiancé lastnight because I just feel like I'm not ready and might be missing something. Am I messing up my life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I haven't signed a new lease, can the company I'm renting from screw me over?
POST: Hey Redditors, I've got a question pertaining to the non-existent lease I'm under right now...
I've been renting my house for a year + almost two months now. I was getting tossed around to new property managers pretty much every two months with the company I rent from, so the month before my 12-month lease was supposed be up, I scrambled to get in contact with -someone- to make sure they knew I wanted the house for another year. After a ton of phone calls and e-mails, I finally get a message saying that I could have the house again for the year and that they were just really busy. Fast-forward to two months after my lease is up, and I still haven't signed anything but I'm still paying my rent. I want to know if there's any way the company can screw me over because nothing is in writing? or do I have the advantage because I'm not locked in?
TL;DR: | after 1+ year of renting, I haven't been asked to sign a new lease. can this get me in trouble in any way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My fiancee (23F) and I (23M) can't have a honeymoon and it's really bringing her down.
POST: Basically, I've been with my fiancee for 6 years, I love her a whole lot, all that jazz. We weren't planning on getting married for another year or so but a few months ago she found out she was pregnant so we quickly started planning a wedding. She miscarried a month ago but we're still getting married because, well, I love her and I want to be her husband no matter what.
The miscarriage hit her pretty hard, we did want kids in the future and were already thinking about names and stuff. Being fresh out of college we don't have a lot of money. Her parents are paying for the wedding, which we're so grateful for. But I have no vacation time left from work and she works part-time (goes to grad school full time) and can't take time off. We're not going to be able to have another honeymoon for at least a year.
I asked her if she'd still be interested in planning a little trip for next year, and she said no thanks. She didn't want a weekend road trip either. She doesn't have particularly expensive tastes but I know she was envisioning a nice honeymoon, and I hate that I can't give her that.
Is there anything I can do to cheer her up?
TL;DR: | We can't have a honeymoon and fiancee is upset, it's been a year of ups and downs already. How can I make things right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A guy [18M] likes me [22F] and I have no interest. He constantly messages me even though I told him I need space.
POST: I have never even met this guy. I talked to him on Yik Yak and then Kik, and added him on Facebook. He constantly tells me how I am so cute and how he really really likes me, asking if I am looking for a relationship, etc. I have said no multiple times but he just keeps messaging me. He kept telling me that "girls all think I'm ugly" and "I am so bad looking" and I felt bad and told him he wasn't bad looking. I didn't even say I found him attractive, but I think I unintentionally lead him on.
How can I tell this guy nicely that I am not interested? I have tried to explain this multiple times but he just keeps flirting with me. For one he is nearly 5 years younger than me (he just turned 18 and I turn 23 next month) and that is way too young for me... other reasons too...
TL;DR: | Much younger guy I met on Yik Yak/added on Facebook seems to have a crush on me but I am not interested. Tried to explain this but he keeps flirting with me even though I don't reciprocate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] of 2 years, and his model mayhem account
POST: My boyfriend of 2 years has a model mayhem account. He has had it for longer than I have known him as he used to be really into photography. He has met a few girls off the site and taken photos of them. I've seen these pictures. They're nothing inappropriate. Mostly artistic photos of a girl looking out a window or something.
He hasn't done any serious photography in about four years so he doesn't really *need* to have an account anymore. The problem is not that I think he is cheating with any of the girls. He has done nothing to make me think he might be cheating. But I don't think he is logging on to model mayhem for photography's sake either. I believe that he is probably jerking off to these girl's photos. However, this is just an assumption on my part.
I have no problems with masturbation or him masturbating. But this makes me uncomfortable for some reason. I guess it is the attainable aspect of some of the girls on there. Some of them live in the same state as we do. It takes the whole fantasy aspect of porn out of the equation and makes it more "real," I guess. At least with most porn films, I know that the likelihood of him hanging out with or meeting Jenna Haze is not very high. I almost feel like it would be equivalent to me masturbating to photos of my male friends on facebook or something. I don't know if I am overreacting or not. Am I being unreasonable? How do I even bring this up?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 2 years has a model mayhem account and I believe that he probably masturbates to the girls on there. Am I overreacting by being upset by this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/F] Muslim currently in a relationship where my atheist boyfriend [22/m] and I clash over religion, even though I don't practice Islam despite being a Muslim.
POST: Firstly, excuse the numerous poor grammatical errors I've made in the title. I'm not exactly sober right now.
So basically, as the title summarises, I'm a 20 year old Muslim female born living in the UK. I come from a Somali family, where my upbringing was (eh) relatively strict. I involuntarily went to weekend Islamic school during my teen years and finished the Qur'an both by reading and memorisation when I was 14/15.
But I don't really practice Islam. I've always taken drugs, and tried alcohol. I wear the scarf to school and to keep my parents happy, but I don't wear it when I go out. I have had boyfriends. So I'm a bad Muslim.
But I've found myself clashing with my violently atheist boyfriend. He is very quick to debate/argue/insult Islam and religion in general, saying Islam just teaches Muslims to kill people, and that it's capitalistic, violent and sexist.
I still believe in Islam. I have some faint hope I will be a good Muslim when I'm older and atone for my sins when I die, though I don't think I will ever do that. But I get so defensive and angry when my boyfriend insults it even though it's horribly hypocritical and illogical for me to be so. I think it's because of my ingrained upbringing.
So I don't really know what to do. My previous agnostic boyfriend cited it as one of the many deal breakers when breaking up with me.
TL;DR: | I'm a hypocritical, non practising, believing Muslim girl who gets butthurt when her "~unhalal~" boyfriend insults Islam. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIGotPranked by my former Math Teacher
POST: So my former math teacher is really awesome, lots of jokes and everything. He usually goes off on a tangent (lol) and tells us random stories (He's got the biggest dog in the neighborhood, proceeds to show a picture of a horse, etc.)(yes, the stories are random, no observable pattern and with different topics every time) and for April Fool's one year, he convinced a lot of people that he got beat up by a drunkard at the mall. We quickly realized it was April Fool's, but we believed it for a lot longer than I'd like to admit. A few years later, we caught his April Fool's stories more quickly, but then one year, he told us about the time he rescued a rattlesnake from the highway and put it back in the wild after it recovered from some injury (or something like that). We didn't think he was that crazy, so we immediately said "April Fool's!"
He proceeded to show us a video.
TL;DR: | Teacher tells crazy stories and we take some time to catch the April Fool's stories. One story he tells is too crazy, but it's actually real. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: eBay is charging me $31 for an item that I deleted after someone attempted to scam me out of it. What do I do?
POST: Okay, so, about a month ago, I tried to sell my laptop on Ebay. It was the first item I'd sold on that account, so I had no feedback. I had read that scammers tend to go for people with no feedback, so I was ready to shut it down if anything suspicious happened. Well, five minutes after I listed the item, I got the notification that it sold! Lo and behold, though, after telling me to ship it to them in Nigeria, and sending me fake emails that looked like they were from Paypal and eBay (which I forwarded to [email protected] and [email protected], by the way.), I went onto my account and completely deleted the transaction. I didn't know what else to do, as they had marked the laptop as paid for already. I didn't really think much of it after that, until today. I got an email from eBay telling me that I owed money to them for selling my laptop. It's for about $31. I simply do not have this money, and I don't think I should be obligated to pay it, as I never sold the laptop. How can I get this cancelled? I need to talk to someone at eBay but that seems impossible, as I can't find any contact forums, email addresses, or anything. I don't deserve to pay this, plus I don't even have enough in my account. Reddit, please help me figure out how to get this invoice cancelled. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | Someone tried to scam me for a laptop, marked it as paid for, and now eBay wants their cut of the money that I never got. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Accepted a pricey gift from my ex of 2 years, didn't tell current SO.
POST: My exbf and I dated for a year & a half. We broke up once before (because he was acting fucking shady and i think he was cheating) and it really wasn't much better second time around so I ended it. We didn't speak for a month but later were able to remain friends, and by that I mean he maintains that we will get back together bc he 'still loves me' and I politely decline.
I began dating someone new a few after the breakup for a hot rebound, but it didn't feel like a rebound. The new guy is the kind of person one tends to see dating the high-maintenance, manipulative, gorgeous girls. Kind, and sincere, quiet and warm, and so open and understanding. There is no way to compare him to anyone I've dated because he is one of a kind; it very quickly became clear to us both that this hot thing is real and we started dating exclusively.
About a month ago, right around the holidays, my phone broke and I was really short on cash. When you become unreachable to your parents, friends, boss or bf things can get pretty tense. I was desperate and asked my rather well-off ex to help me out and he obliged by picking up an expensive new phone for me. I knew I was going to regret that decision later on because nothing is ever free, but he was so blasé about it that I honestly believed It wouldn't matter. The ex became fixated on me sleeping with him immediately after I accepted my 'gift'. It got to the point where I had to ice him out because he wouldn't stop messaging me with dirty requests and I wasn't about to whore myself for a phone.
I intend to save up enough to pay the ex back bc I used my ex and lied to my SO. I feel absolutely gutted about allowing this to happen, and I think my new SO deserves to know but I don't know how to break the news, or whether I should even muddy the waters between us.
TL;DR: | broken phone, short on cash, wealthy ex bought me a replacement, then tried to use it to manipulate me into sleeping with him again. should I tell the new SO about what I did? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can my girlfriend move to a new apartment to get away from her druggy roommates?
POST: Backstory: My girlfriend lives with 3 other girls. Girl 1 smokes weed every day and does pills, girl 2 does crack, and girl 3 sells pills. Shes been talking to a cop friend, and he says that reporting them all at the same time basically means you knew about it and didn't report it because you have gathered so much info. This could leave her open to being an "accessory". She went to the front office of the apartments we live at (separately) and told them that the girls in her apartment are all involved in illegal activity and that he wants to be relocated. The office told her she has to pay a $400 relocating fee, and they didn't do anything about it.
If she files a report on them, it will have her name on it because the other roommates have the right to know who is reporting them apparently.
How can she either:
A. Get them all kicked out. (anonymously)
B. Move out at no cost to herself, and ignore the problem.
Also, is an apartment allowed to ignore claims like these and still charge for a relocation?
TL;DR: | Girlfriends roommates do and sell drugs and she doesn't want to get in trouble or be pointed to for calling them out on it. Apartment ignores the problem. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Uncertain about whether or not I should talk to my SO about something:
POST: I am a female, early twenties. My S.O. and I have been together several years and are very close, 100% comfortable with each other, live together, very much in love and happy.
I am struggling with whether or not to tell him that I've been re-visited by a past trauma. I suffered from a sexual assault a few years before I met him. After it happened I had nightmares about it every night until a few years of us being together. (I credit him with getting rid of them, although I don't think I've ever said that directly to him.)
Now I've been having the dreams again on a nightly basis. I feel like I should confide in him, but I don't want him to feel bad. He has enough going on right now to worry/stress about and I feel like I already ask too much from him on a daily basis. (I'm pregnant so I need help with many small things, nothing majorly difficult or time consuming.)
I don't know what good it would even do to tell him, it's not like he can do anything to stop it from happening. It seems like I'd be putting him through something for no reason even though it'd probably be nice to talk to him about it. I don't want to be selfish, but I also feel strange about keeping something from him.
TL;DR: | Having nightmares about something that happened in my past, don't know if I should tell my SO about them or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I tell her or leave her?
POST: So I'll start by saying that I'm 35 and i went back to college to try to better my life. I look really young, like 22, so everyone assumes I'm that age and i don't really advertise my age.
I've been seeing this girl who's 22. It just started as casual sex and hanging out. I've gotten to the point that I really, truly love her. She doesn't know my real age and thinks I'm like 25.
I broke up with her last night but i really think she's the one. I've never hit it off with someone like I have with her.
She's made comments before about older men and it's not good. She's not in to men my age, but she must be because she loves me. She is begging me to stay but I've yet to tell her the truth.
My question is: Should I just walk away since I've been deceiving her or tell her the truth?
TL;DR: | I'm 35 and she's 22 and she doesn't know my real age. Should i tell her or leave her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Texting with her = Interestingly Frustrating
POST: I'm a 21 year old male, she's 21 as well. We've known each other for a few years now. Obviously texting problems are very petty. However, this was bugging so I wanted to see what you guys think of this...
I started talking to her again recently because I learned our summer will be spent in towns not too far away from each other. I'm developing interest… but She rarely ever initiates and she is the farthest thing from shy. So every once in awhile I'll send her a "Hey Holly, How's it going" or "whatcha up to?"—boring stuff like that. She always responds, most of the time it is almost instant. However, carrying on a conversation with her his interesting/frustrating sometimes because she usually does not ask questions, so I have to do all the work in that sense. However, once we get talking about a topic it goes great. But once the conversation hits a lull, she usually doesn't bring something else up or try to keep it going… She is insistent on meeting up when we both finish school and move back home in a month… without prompting from me…
I have no read on this woman.
So what does this mean, if anything at all? Am I supposed to be carrying the conversation on? Or am I just to drop it when this happens?
TL;DR: | Texting. She doesn't initiate conversation or ask questions, but genuinely seems interested and enthusiastic when texting. She also does not attempt to revive conversations that hit a lull... What the Frack? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How about things that should have gotten you fired from your job, but didn't?
POST: Between my 2nd and 3rd years of university I needed a summer job desperately but the market in my city, even for shitty jobs, was basically dried up. I finally got an interview around the end of May for a position as a DBA (Database administrator) for a senior's home. The only problem is, I was a biology student with no knowledge of --cringe-- Access.
I lied through my teeth during the interview and luckily the managers knew even less than I did because I got hired for the position. Over the next 10 weeks they gave me various database projects to build, and I would do what I could and then post frantically on online forums to get people to help me with the code necessary to make them functional. If any of you gracious souls are out there right now I thank you, because without you I would have been toast.
TL;DR: | lied to get job as a DBA and then altruistic Access monkeys on tech forums built all of my databases for me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 23F and 25M thinking of moving back in with parents, how will this affect the relationship?
POST: Hi everyone, I searched this sub for a similar post but didn't really find anything so hopefully this isn't a common thing that I'm reposting!
My bf(25M) and I (23F) have been together for 4 years and moved out of our parent's places and in with each other back in May 2015. It's been nice having our freedom and everything but we're realizing it's costing us a lot of money and both our commutes have increased due to the move. Both of those things are causing stress and a huge decrease in his libido due to that. So we've been discussing moving back inot our respective parent's homes. Our parents are both totally fine (even excited) about us moving back but I just wonder how this might affect the relationship. I was wondering if others here have gone through this sort of thing?
From time to time I feel like we need to break up because he's really not motivated to go anywhere and I've just finished university and I'm fairly successful in my field and work hard towards my goals but part of his lack of motivation is due to money so I think the move could either be helpful by reducing stress or it might just make it easier for me to say yeah lets break up since we don't live together anymore.
TL;DR: | been living on our own for 8 months but stressed about money so thinking of moving back home with parents. How did this go with other couples? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Redditors of Arizona, I could use some assistance please! (Around the phoenix area) Serious!
POST: Hey guys, Me and my friend are about to embark on a journey from the small town of Lenoir in North Carolina to somewhere around Goodyear/Phoenix area of Arizona. Now the assistance I need is kinda odd. I am hoping to get some good replies and not a lot of bullshit.
Anyway, My first name is Thomas, and my friend an I leave on the 12 of June. Now the first thing I need assistance with, is work. I have a job semi sorta lined up. The guy seems a bit..Odd. Granted he does managed 20 some stores, but I would like a definite Yes the job is yours, or no its not. Now its selling cars and midway chevrolet and selling product is something im fairly good at. Been doing it for a several of years now. But I havnt heard yes you will have a job when you get out here, or no you wont ect ect. So, a: is there anywhere that is hiring in that area, that pays pretty decent and is full time hours, or B: if Im lucky and someone who reads this needs a hard worker who has experience as a Automotive Technician, Automotive Parts Pro (Sales) Manager as a Parts Pro, Automotive Sales Representative, Warehouse labor, Forklift operation, Counter sales/Management, or any type of driving as I am a Motor Transport Operator for the United States Army National Guard. (Big rig driver)
We are also looking at houses/apts for rent in the area. We need something two bedroom or bigger, but we dont really want to go over $900 a month in rent. Nice neighborhood, low crime the general things you look for when moving into a new home. We are not to picky, but looking for some new places to check in on.
An also, Ive heard that most of arizona has pretty low crime rate, the people are friendly and the economy is buzzing. So Im honestly not to worried about the whole starting over thing, but Id just like to have all of my ducks in a row. So any advice, (if youve made this type of move before) Places to check into for work or living, or anything else I may need to know would be highly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Im moving to the phoenix/goodyear area of Arizona looking for places to put in application that will do on the phone interviews, looking for nice places to live and any advice for two friends moving across the country together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [19M] How to approach a girl I've never met?
POST: Basically, what are some tips for approaching a girl in college you know absolutely nothing about, and only see infrequently walking to class or see her eating dinner with her friends?
Long version of my particular story:
There's this girl I've seen around campus a few times that I know nothing about. While she is certainly quite cute, that's not the only reason I noticed her -- something about the way she smiles and talks (to friends, not me) just seems to say she's nice and intelligent, and I realized the 2nd time I saw her that for whatever reason I just wanted to make her smile and laugh. That probably sounds stupid and creepy; I've never really felt like this towards a complete strange. I don't know who she is, none of my friends know her, and she doesn't know me!
I occasionally see her on my way walking from one class to another, but it isn't frequent. Once I made eye contact and smiled for a second, and she smiled back and glanced down (as far as I could tell she glanced down out of shyness, not being creeped out/uninterested), but it's typically so busy where I see her that I don't see her or she doesn't see me.
I've also seen her eating at a dining hall before, but I was with a group of friends and she was eating with her own friends, so I didn't really see any opportunity to say hi.
What can I do? Should I just keep trying to smile, and if she smiles back say hi? If she says hi back, should I ask her to coffee or something? It seems a bit forward asking her when we don't even know each other, but I don't know what else to do, I typically only see her for like 5 seconds on my way to class (and I typically see her right before she walks into her own class), so it isn't like I can easily stop and try to make conversation.
TL;DR: | I think I like this girl I don't even know. She smiled back at me once. How do I meet her?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21F] frustrated at my boyfriend [24M] who has chosen to continue our long distance relationship after 3 years, despite an option to end it
POST: My boyfriend and I went to the same undergrad school but he graduated before me. When he graduated, we made the decision to stay together while he took a job in his field over 10 hours away. However, I absolutely supported him given that this was a really well paying job and I was (and am) very excited for him.
Two years down the line, he decided to go to law school and has gotten into some amazing schools with great financial aid options. He basically narrowed it down to two options, both of which were ranked equivalently and gave nearly full rides. One of the schools is in the area where I would most likely be going for graduate school, and another across the country.
I am absolutely in this for the long haul, but I am incredibly frustrated that he has chosen the school that is across the country when for all intents and purposes, we could be much closer together. Now, I'm the last person to promote making decisions as a young adult based on a SO, but this feels like he is purposefully prolonging our LDR. How can I approach this and reconcile his decision?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend has chosen to go to law school across the country from where I will be going to grad school, despite an option at a (potentially even better) school and I don't know how to handle it without seeming bitter. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 1 year next month, he drops by unexpectedly and it drives me nuts!
POST: So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now, and he has a key to my place because sometimes he comes over when I'm not here to wait for me, or he comes over late at night or early in the morning.
But he seems to think that having a key means he can come over whenever he wants, and it's driving me up the wall. Like tonight, it's my first night off in two weeks and I was looking forward to just vegging out, eating in bed, watching whatever I wanted, and playing some video games. Then, at about 1230am, he just walks in, first off scaring the crap out of me because I heard someone in my house, but now I have to entertain him, and accommodate him, when if he would have asked I would have told him I wanted to spend the night alone.
He also is an alcoholic, and sometimes he'll come over, drink, and then act like a dick all night, and it's like I already didn't want to entertain you, and now I have to put up with this crap too.
I don't know how to explain to him that while I love him, and I want to see him, I don't want him to just show up without telling me first. He said his phone's dead, and I understand that, but I really didn't feel like having anyone over tonight. He's here now, so whatever, but I feel like this happens all the time and it tires me out. I have depression and am super introverted, I prefer to spend my free time alone. We talked about living together once, and both decided it wouldn't work out for us, so I don't like him just coming over whenever he wants to.
TL;DR: | How do I tell my boyfriend that I don't want him to just drop by on me anymore, without making him feel like he's unwanted? I just need him to ask me first! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] for 2 years, not feeling any sexual attraction: will things get better when we start having sex?
POST: Started dating. She doesn't want sex before marriage. She is very attracted sexually. I start suffering from blue balls often. We start getting sexual, although she still doesn't want it. We start having regular sex and she liked it much. She doesn't like it that much any more. The sex gets rare, although she says she is alright with us having it. She is feeling bad for it. She gets more religious and soon changes her mind. We stop having sex. We stop getting in sexual acts. The relationship gets ripped of sexual attraction.
Reddit, will my relationship get back to the good state, if we get married and start having sex again?
TL;DR: | I'm not having sex with my gf because of her religious believes. I'm feeling bad that there is no attraction/seduction/arousal in our relationship. Will things get better if we marry and start having sex? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (27F) boyfriend (29M) is 'anti-marriage', and I really want to get married. Is it irrational for me to be upset?
POST: My boyfriend of 9 months and I are blissfully in love. We have plans to move in together and start a life together, buy a house, get a dog, etc. The problem: I really want to get married, and he does not. His parents went through a brutal divorce when he was a kid and he has never gotten over it. He says that if he never gets married, he will never have to suffer through a divorce.
That being said, he does want a monogamous life partner. He wants to 'live happily ever after' with me until the end of his days. He just doesn't want to be officially, legally married. He often speaks about marriage in an extremely negative way, saying he feels sorry for people who are married. He'll tell me stories about people he knows who have gone through terrible divorces, and he'll say things like, "Thank God I'll never have to go through that, because I'm never getting married."
It really upsets and hurts me when he talks that way because I'm basically at the opposite end of the spectrum. I've dreamed of being married basically since I was a little girl. I want a ring, I want a wedding, I want it to be official. I'm at an age where a lot of girls I know are getting married and I'm starting to feel left out.
There's a part of me that thinks it's a bit silly for me to be upset by this. I mean, why is marriage such a big deal? It's just a piece of paper, right? Why is a wedding so important? It's not the wedding that really matters after all, but the years of marriage that come after the wedding. Isn't it the same if we just decide to commit to one another and make a life together? Should I just let it go?
Side note: He bought a ring for his previous girlfriend. He was going to propose, but she ended up leaving him and breaking his heart. I'm worried this may be contributing to his feelings about marriage.
TL;DR: | I want to get married, but my boyfriend doesn't. Should I let this get in the way of us having a lifelong partnership? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [19/m] cheated on my gf [18/f] two years ago
POST: So it all starts around three years ago, when we first met. At first I had just broken up with my ex and I didn't want a serious relationship, so we ere just friends with benefits for a while. Then we started dating, and six months into it I met this girl (I'll call her S), and we kissed a couple times on a casual date at a local park, she was more into it than I was and she invited me over to her place but I refused because it didn't feel right and I just wasn't into it. I actually started talking to her about my gf because I was feeling guilty and ashamed of what I had done.
At that time, my gf and I were not in our best moment, but as time went by I started to realize that she's the one I want to spend my life with, we share so many things, we understand each other in the deepest way and I love her more than anything, I have never felt this way for anyone, and it's been two years since that happen.
I have tried to tell her many times, but everytime I've chickened out and just said that I needed time or that I wanted to break up, because the guilt is haunting me and I don't feel like I deserve her for what I did.
Turns out that S is one of my gf's friend's ex, and yesterday S told my gf's friend that I am her ex. We never dated, we never talked again or anything, and my gf didn't believe anything and just laughed because it's actually not the first time someone lies about being in a relationship with me.
I am terrified of telling her, I feel like the chances of her founding out are pretty low but I still don't know if I should tell her. She has always hated cheaters and I know that this would hurt her more than anything. I fucked up, I know, but I just can't lose her.
TL;DR: | cheated on my gf two years ago, we have now the perfect relationship but she coult find out and I don't know if I should tell her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] just received the "we need to talk" text from my girlfriend [26F]. What does this likely mean?
POST: I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years now. Today she went out for lunch with her coworkers and when she got there she sent me a text saying she had arrived and that she loved me. About 2 hours later she sent me a text out of nowhere saying "we need to have a serious talk when I get home". I replied saying that it sounded ominous and what did she mean, but I got no response. I tried calling her phone, but I think she has switched it off.
I'm at work and I'm trying not to have a freakout at work, but I suffer from anxiety and it seems very out of character for her to just send me something like that and then not respond when she knows it would worry me.
Whenever I hear about these "we need to talk" texts they always seem to mean the person wants to talk about breaking up, but this would be so out of the blue. 2 hours ago she said she loved me, but I don't know what else that kind of text would mean... does anyone have any ideas?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend sent me the "we need to talk" text and switched her phone off and I'm freaking out at work. What does this text mean? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my (Abusive) Mother [47F] I'm attending my grandfather's funeral on Saturday, and I've avoided her fr months. She's supposed to be there. Can anyone help me plan to minimize the damage?
POST: BACKGROUND: My mother is abusive, and refuses to admit this. Last September she kicked me out and I finally stayed gone instead of giving into the following guilt trip to quit "acting out and go home" By Thanksgiving I had found a support group for toxic parents and decided I couldn't be in a relationship with her at all if her behavior continued.
Fast forward to my birthday in April she's contacted me again saying she's changed, been in therapy, wants to try again. Within a month she is back to her shit. So back to not talking. Since then she has repeatedly tried to make contact to the point of stealing my dad's phone to act like him and tell me to make amends and using a fb under an alias to contact me as well.
So, Her dad died and there is the funeral I have to attend. I have a friend coming with me since I need a ride, but other than that I'll be with people that for the most part have only seen me as my mom has described me. As a child my mom kept me pretty isolated from family without her- outside of a few incidents that didn't end well. So if my mom tries to/ ends up causing a scene (I have a feeling she will) I want a few backup plans.
She is likely to try and reconcile with me, which I am not interested in. She is also likely to use my family members to force contact. I have no doubt me not complying will draw attention, and she's an Academy Actress. I want to minimize damage so this doesn't become about me- and become fuel for her to use against me- smear campaigns are her forte'.
TL;DR: | Attending funeral where my abusive mother will be- How do I avoid a blowout and minimizing damage in the event of one. We don't speak and she's been trying to force contact. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't know if this is the right sub, but I [19F] think I have a stalker[26?M]
POST: A little over a year ago, I met a man who we will call "K" gave me his phone number. Soon after, I told him that I wasn't interested in a relationship with him. K came into my work a few times, but then he disappeared for several months.
Fast forward to a couple of months ago. My boyfriend and I are shopping and I notice that K is on the escalator right in front of us. A few minutes later my boyfriend leans over and says "That guy is following us." Sure enough. He was behind us, just watching. Everywhere in the store we would go, he was right there. I decided it was best if we left.
Ever since that incident he's been showing up at my job. There was a day that I was putting items away in women's accessories and there he was. One day he walks through women's clothing and just stands there across from me. just a couple of days ago, I was folding some pants in one section and I see him across the aisle. he was standing behind a table, just staring at me. Once we made eye contact, he walked away. I stepped into the main aisle to see if he was leaving the store, but he wasn't there. he must have cut behind the wall and through the next department so I didn't see him.
he could be innocently shopping (doubtful) but I never see him in any other section of the store and I never see him with a cart or any items in his hands. Sometimes its late at night and it makes me afraid to walk out to my car when I get off.
TL;DR: | Guy keeps coming into my work place and watching me, but doesn't do anything else. He leaves when he knows that I've seen him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by having a threezie in my parents house.
POST: Like most posts this happened when I was younger. Roughly 15. I was talking with this girl from my school on the MySpace (fuck I'm getting old) and we would regularly talk about sex. She was more open minded than most and we started talking about how awesome it would be to have a group of people that would meet up and go all Eyes Wide Shut. It took me less than a second to find a friend that was down, but it took her forever to find a female friend to bring. Her friend eventually backed out and we were young and overdosing on hormones so just decided to go with the threezie. Being young kids it was hard for us to find a venue for our adventure time so just decided to do it at my house while my step dad was home since he was an inattentive self-involved prick. Well, we're going at it and shit is awesome. A little awkward at first obviously but mostly fucking awesome after some confidence shots. We're mid Eiffel Tower and hear some footsteps, but decide to keep going. Low and behold egocentric fat fuck decides today is the day to check up on me. I throw up the blanket in a ninja like whirlwind distraction method and she is between my friend and I curled up hidden underneath the comforter. He says, "What the fuck are you two doing?" And goes to rip the blankets off the bed as we both plead for him to stop and just leave. He decides he doesn't want to peer too far into the abyss and plods his fat fucking shit idiot self back down the stairs. He never spoke of it again, but totally thinks my friend and I were going at it with each other. I guess that technically means we got away with the threezie though.
TL;DR: | my stepfather almost caught me mid Eiffel Tower threezie but just thinks my friend and I are gay now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [35M] am pretty sure that my wife [37F] is not attracted to me.
POST: When I met my wife 7 years ago, we were both in great shape. I'm 6'4", and was 215 at the time. However, I've always been somewhere between 250-300 since high school, with a very sedentary lifestyle.
After we'd been dating a year, my eating habits had completely fallen apart and my workout routine became sporadic (1-2 times per month for years). I weighed myself six months ago, and I was floored- 325 lbs. My body aches in ways i'd never imagined, and I just don't have the energy to keep up with our 2 year old.
Somehow, my lifestyle changed after that. I was inspired to start cooking and eating healthier, and trying new recipes. I've taken over all cooking for the family, and have had no trouble keeping calories ideal for weight loss, and have even been able to squeeze in a 30 minute workout on weekdays. The results are going at a pace that I'm comfortable with, now at 290 lbs and continuing down. The thought of eating unhealthy has become repulsive.
My problem is this- since she became pregnant with out child, my wife's desire for sex has gone frome *allowing* 1-2 times per week, to around 5-6 times per year. It is incredibly hurtful to be rejected, especially on days that I put in a great deal of effort making her feel special. Personally, I would like to have sex at least 3-4 times per week, but our current pace is not even meeting my minimum needs.
To be frank- I feel as though she is not attracted to me, most likely due to my obesity. Fortunately, this is only a minor motivator for losing weight.
TL;DR: | My wife won't have sex with me, and I'm fairly certain it's because she isn't attracted to my obese body. I'm consistently losing weight, but uncertain is this going to ever make her attracted to me again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 M] with my close family and friends, they all think I'm unhappy or depressed because I'm not married. Why do they assume I'm unhappy?
POST: Hello. I'll try not to rant.
Last night we had a large extended family birthday party. My uncle, who I've always been close with, patted me on the back at one point and commented that 'it's good to see you out having fun. The last couple times I saw you I wasn't sure what was wrong'. Ok, that in itself isn't bad.
But a month ago I gave my drunk friend a ride home. He began drunk rambling on the ride and mentioned it was good to see me because 'he's just heard I'm not in a good place.' I of course followed up asking inquiries to what he meant. He then bit his tongue and wouldn't say why he said that. And of course he wouldn't say who it was discussed with.
But that's not it. I've had to have talks with my very good (35F) friend about my mind state. It started off with 'how are you? You know you'll find someone eventually.'
These comments are just the tip of the iceberg to give you an example.
About 8 years ago I did go through a very public & messy break up with a girlfriend of 5 years. I was a mess for a bit. But it's ancient history now. Just saying that bc maybe this is on their minds???
I am happy in my life! I love my job. I get lots of exercise.
Why does everybody think I'm so unhappy? Is it so ingrained in their heads that I should be married that they assume I'm unhappy because I'm single? Is it possible I am unhappy and show it outward but don't actually realize it myself?
TL;DR: | my close friends and family members think I'm unhappy and make awkward comments about it. I am very happy! What gives? |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Can't afford the college I'm going to. I'm constantly worried that I'll be forced to drop out due to costs.
POST: Some basic info for people who'd rather not read a large text.
- Parents are going through bankruptcy so they can't cosign loans
- I have bad credit history from medical bills I haven't been able to afford, so I can't take out loans on my own.
- I currently live with my parents, and I go to a small in-state college and only have a tution of around 14k a year.
- I work part time at the school's pool (6-12hrs a week)
- As of right now my GPA is around 3.6.
Alright now for a longer text post. I'm a non traditional student who took 3 years off from schooling after high school to figure out my life. I worked on and off, and saved up 5k to put towards college. I basically used all of that up and had to take 7k in loans from my school to even attend this year - which left me a semester to get 2k while also working. I'm constantly stressed out, and I've applied to almost every reasonable scholarship that my school, community, and parents' work has to offer. I literally don't know what to do, and my school's financial aid office either won't do anything or is losing my emails. Does anyone have tips on how I can cut costs safely or have stories of how they got through something?
TL;DR: | Scared I'll be kicked out of school because I can't afford it. Trying everything I can but I don't know what else to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (28 F) am unsure if I should buy concert tickets for my boyfriend (36 M)
POST: I was unsure how to word the title because my reason behind all of this is a bit petty. Anyways, here it goes.
At the end of the month, a 3 day music festival is coming to town with a lot of big artist headlining. I thought about buying these tickets for my boyfriend and I, at least tickets for the last day. But from the time I thought about buying these tickets till now, which is about a months time, my boyfriend has broken two promises to take me on dates.
The first date was supposed to be the Renaissance Fair but that fell through because he went out with his buddies the night before and couldn't sleep and wake up on time. I was upset and communicated this to him and he apologized and said he'd make up another date for me.
Two weeks go by and I decide I want that date he promised me so I tell him and we planned on going to the drive on to see Ant Man. Well the day comes we're supposed to go and he says we can't because his friend is coming over and wants to go out drinking. I was upset about it and told him my feelings, he apologized again and said he doesn't get to see his friend often. Which is true. But I got over the whole thing quickly as he took me out with them as well.
But now it's time to buy the tickets for the concert and I don't feel like I want to. I mean the concert isn't a big deal to either of us but I just figured it'd be a fun date together to look forward to. I feel petty for not wanting to get them because he promised me two dates. Advice? Help? Please and thank you.
TL;DR: | boyfriend promised two dates, they didn't happen. Now it's time to buy tickets for us and I don't want to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why is it that redditors support science, yet also support homosexuality when there is no scientific backing to it?
POST: Meaning, there is no DNA evidence to conclude that someone is attracted to the same sex. Humans were meant to procreate and reproduce and homosexuality completely goes against this goal. So in reality, they are relying on straight people to continue humanity.
This is not about gay marriage, I could care less about marriage the whole system is fucked anyway. However, I have seen many of my friends turn gay because they were having no success with women even though they were trying. The same goes for lesbians, they tell me about the men they dated and it seemed like they had no masculine qualities, so the female assumed all men were that way. I actually have a cousin who turned gay who always asked me for advice on dating women and was surprised when I wouldn't care about getting rejected from women. He would get very sensitive when women rejected him and took it to heart.
TL;DR: | I don't think being gay is natural. This isn't about marriage or even religion, just purely scientific. If I am ignorant about specific studies that have proven homosexuality can exist prove me wrong (observations don't count). |
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