prompt
stringlengths 73
2.47k
| completion
stringlengths 71
279
|
|---|---|
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [23 M] a virgin. At what age does being an adult male virgin become a handicap in our society?
POST: There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. You aren't a bad person if you aren't getting laid. But being a virgin in our society is more of a bad thing than a good thing as you get older. You're look at as more of a weirdo if you're an older virgin. It's not a secret. It does hurt your chances as a male to get dates if you're still a virgin. So when do people think to the cutoff time for it being OK in our society to be a virgin is before it get's weird? I'm interested because I don't see myself getting laid anytime soon. I got a lot of things in my life I need to fix, and I just don't have the courage to pursue a woman at this point in my life. The only way I'd get laid right now is if a woman offered to have sex with me out of the blue (ironically, this has happened 3 times in my life). I don't want to be viewed as a weirdo by girls because my virgin status, so I want to lose it before it becomes weird for girls. So my questions are:
1) When do you think being an adult male virgin is a weird thing?
2) Would you date an adult male virgin even if you were weirded out by his virginity?
3) Would you break up with a guy who lied about not being a virgin?
4) Would you break up with a guy who lost his virginity to a prostitute, regardless of how old he was? If so, why?
TL;DR: | Currently a virgin. Don't know when I'll lose it. When do I have to hide/lie about my virgin status to get a date? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: My best friend/crush and I are having a Talk tonight, probably about he and I can't become "us"
POST: My best friend (who is across the country for the summer) told me yesterday that he thinks that if he wants to completely get over his ex of over a year, he needs to find someone new to love. As soon as he realized he told this to the girl who's liked him for 6 months, he freaked out at himself and started apologizing profusely, saying he was being a jackass and it was insensitive for him to tell me that.
It led to a whole bunch of him telling me that he was being an idiot and he shouldn't be telling me all that, that he'd feel awful if the situations were reversed, and me telling him that I'd be okay, that I wanted to be there for him, that he's not an idiot. Neither of us said it explicitly, but we both knew there was an "I still like you," coming from me, and an "I wish I could be what you want me to be but I cant," coming from him.
That conversation got weird and awkward, so we decided we need to talk about it, face to face rather than via texting. I was the one who said we need to talk about it, but I've still been dreading it all day. It's probably going to end up the same way that the last two conversations like this did, with nothing changing because neither of us wants to lose a best friend, and we're both cuddly enough that we don't want to lose the snuggles, and I don't want to lose the feeling of being closer to this boy than I ever had before with anyone.
TL;DR: | I'm sitting here waiting for a skype call for my best friend/crush to tell me that we can't be a couple for the 3rd time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] hasn't had contact with with my boyfriend [22 M] for 5 days, whar is going?
POST: I've been dating this guy for official 7 months and as of recent we've been communicating less due to his busy schedule. He attends college for three days during the week whilst also working everyday at his job. He's been very stressed recently and doubting himself and his future. I've assured him not to worry and to stop to selling himself short. The last time we engaged in a conversation was Monday. We talked for three hours roughly. Near the end of the conversation he started to get down and beat up at his current job and future prospects. I tried as best as I could and reassured him. We're supposed to talk on Friday, but he bailed due to working a double shift. p.S I know y'all will call me needy but im far from that.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend hasn't text me in five days and I feel neglected what should I do? I sent him a text message and called him an hour ago and no response, although he probaly is working. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (29m) put a friend/ school mate (27f) in the friendzone?
POST: Currently I'm in law school. A girl I sit next to (friends for about 1.5 years now), and always enjoy her company has become a really nice casual friend. We haven't hung out in a couple months and tonight she came over so we could have some beers and watch a movie. I thought this was going to be completely plutonic as there has never been anything between us, not even flirting to my knowledge (but I am pretty dense).
She came over in a fairly short skirt with red lipstick on, and was done up pretty nice. Everything was going pretty nice but there was a conspicuous lack of the usual who we're dating talking. It didn't really bother me because we had plenty else to bullshit about. During the course of the movie it dawned on me that the close sitting, nice (short) skirt, and lipstick meant we were on a date. When the topic of conversation went to music I immediately mentioned how bad of taste my current lady I'm dating has in music (I wouldn't say she is my GF yet, but I would say her taste in music is awful). When I mentioned this she let out an audible WTF type of sigh and the conversation stopped. It was very awkward for the rest of the evening.
How do I let her know that I really like her as a friend, but my interests and tastes lay elsewhere? Can I keep her as a friend, or do I need to put in some distance (changing where I sit will be awkward, and everyone will know somethings up. Law school is worse than middle school as far as the rumor mill goes)?
TL;DR: | I have been friends with a lawschool classmate for the last 1.5 years. She showed some interest tonight and I mentioned my GF to her dismay. I would like to remain friends with her, but not go further. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by reading the conversation of my gf and her bf
POST: This happened yesterday.
I was in the library studying with the best friend of my girlfriend, waiting my gf to get out of class.
I was listening to music on my pc, and she asked if she could use it to make an online test.
Me: "Ok i'm not even using it"
An hour later my girlfriend arrives, and we all start to talk about a interrail that we wanted to do.
Half an hour later i said "Ok let's study", my her bf won't stfu(she had already study) so i said "I need to study" and close the computer in the button.
I get home and i give my pc to my brother so he could play a bit.
Then he says "Facebook is connected with the (bf name)".
I was like "JACKPOT!! No i can facejack her".
The minute i locked my gf sends her a text. Of course I did not open. That could blow my cover.
I was wait for her to reply.
And this is where i fucked up. I thought "I can not see their conversation".
But it was stronger than me so i start scrolling.
If found normal talks(girls stuff) and then i see them talk about the godparents(yes we have to choose in college). My gf says she is going to ask a older guy she met and was helping her(giving her papers from last years).
Me: "Ok no problem"
Then she says she was a crush on him and and that he's beautiful.
I freak out. My heart started beating very fast. I wanted to break things.
I did not tell her, but asked her if she had a crush on someone or if she does not find me attractive anymore, she said "Of course not".
We date for over a year and she lied on my face!
I did not reply her text all night.
I could not sleep all night. I really like her and i don't know what do to.
Help me reddit...
(pardon my grammar)
TL;DR: | read a conversation and found out that my gf was a crush on other guy, don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my boyfriend [25 M] for many years, he's very critical of everything my mom does!
POST: I have to start with a little background: me and my boyfriend have our own apartment and since moving here, my mother likes to cook and send us food (something every week) or give us small things she thinks we might like (from time to time, mainly on special occasions). His mom also likes to send us food (but not as much and not every week). I know it might sound weird, but we're Italian and it's the kind of connection we have with our families.
The relationship I have with my mom is very close and, I have to be honest here, she likes to coddle us and is a little but clingy at times. The problem is that my boyfriend is very critical about everything she cooks or does - and sometimes I get it, but if I refuse stuff it might hurt her feelings.
Last week she went to the market and got a kind of spatula with a colorful design on it (which my boyfriend doesn't like) and he didn't want to use the utensil at all because it was "ugly and he likes to only have beautiful objects".
I get annoyed when everything his mom sends is the best and everything from my family has a flaw - sometimes I don't like what his family does, but I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I don't mention it (only if he specifically asks for my opinion)
What do you think about all this? I would like us to be more independent, but for the time being, who is in the wrong, what are your opinions about all this?
TL;DR: | Our families like to do stuff for me and my boyfriend, but he is very critical about everything my families does. Am I too sensitive, is he to blame, or should we just stop accepting stuff from our families? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] with my boyfriend [19 M] of 1 year, my boyfriend isn't open with how he feels towards me
POST: Hello!
My boyfriend were talking a while back, and somehow him not being open with me about his feelings came up. I told him all he ever tells me is I'm amazing or perfect. He never tells me anything else, like how important I am to him or how I make him so happy.
He told me he thought it was implied...when he told me I was amazing all the time. That I meant a lot to him, and that I am special, and that he is glad I'm in his life. But how can I know all those stuff are implied? shouldn't he tell me.
I thought about bringing it up, but didn't know if I should because I thought maybe I was just nitpicking and just overthinking. Because I do know I do mean a lot to him and that he cares for me a lot, and he is very affection but I guess he just doesn't tell me the way I want(?) he tells me I'm amazing or perfect instead. And truthfully I am getting a bit tired of being called amazing all the time.
So I guess am I just overthinking it too much?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend isn't that open with me, and only tells me I'm amazing or perfect. Mandatory summary/question! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my GF [19 F] of 2 years, really need some help on whether to break up with first love or not, from someone with similar experience.
POST: I've been with my GF for 2 year since we were both 19. She is my first serious long time GF and I'm her second (kinda first though). We fell very deeply in love and had plans about living together after high school and go to the same college. Our relationship is great but not perfect and I care a lot about her. I could see us go the distance.
My problem: Last night a female friend of mine declared that she had strong feelings for me, and we've been talking a lot to each other lately. She's a type of girl I could see myself with, but I've just seen her as a friends of course. Learning this has really twisted my mind. Suddenly I've been having second thoughts about my current relationship and the fact that I don't see myself "settling down" with my first ever GF. I mean, I'm 19 after all. Here is my question: Is this a reason enough to break up? I feel like I'm wasting my GF's time if I'm planning to end it some time later, especially since she's planning on going the distance with me. Our relationship is good and steady and I can't even imagen what it would be like to end it. Am I a douchebag? Please help me here...
TL;DR: | In a good and steady realtionship but I don't see myself settling down with my highschool sweetheart. Also not the same feelings anymore. Break up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (M24) am not sure what to do about fickle (F23)
POST: Howdy,
We had been in a relationship for six months before she decided to break up with me for more or less a lack of communication. We had been throwing around ILYs the last few months but just prior to ending things, that had stopped as well. Her reasons for ending things were that she was not ready for commitment, she wanted to wait until finishing school to get serious with someone and that we spent too much time together, and she felt obligated to be a better girlfriend than she was. It was not a solid break up, as I am the only guy she has dated that treated her right and that she got along with so well that we decided to just be friends, which escalated to friends with benefits, which escalated to being back in some sort of informal relationship again.
Time have been really good the last few months, but she has suddenly stopped feeling attracted to me, sex has stopped and she finally told me that this is why she was acting off. She feels anxious around me, anxious about commitment and that she stopped feeling attracted to me again. She is hinting that she wants to end things again because it is not fair to me to keep this going, while she is not feeling attracted to me. I believe this is a temporary thing though, as it was before.
Now, I have mostly left out my emotions for her in writing this but I feel more strongly towards her than anyone I've ever felt for, and we have an amazing relationship, many shared interests, and have a ton of fun together. Besides the lack of sex, everything has been great. We both know that a "just friends" thing won't work, so I am stuck not knowing what to do. She is leaving town for a week soon and I believe that will help, and I think going on more activity dates, as we go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't seem to do anything for her, will help but I'm not sure if I'm wasting my time. What do you think?
TL;DR: | Fickle girl that doesn't know what she wants. What should determine if I should keep being patient for things work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22M] Don't know how (or whether) to get over a relationship.
POST: Let me begin by saying that I'm sure this topic comes up a great deal, but I am possessed with the incredible hubris to believe that my situation is unique. So here it is. I have dated this girl for a year and a half and by the end it was fairly serious. We had very few fights, and they were always resolved. However, she was planning on going to study abroad for a semester and we were worried about long distance. Basically, we didn't want long distance to ruin our relationship. And one morning, about 2 months ago, she (kinda out of the blue) says she wants to break up. Crisis point. And I, being an incredible idiot, say "well okay, it seems like you thought this over, if this is what you want". And that was it. Or at least it was supposed to be.
Cut to now, two months later, and I can't stop thinking about her. Every day hurts. I see things that remind me of her and the love (yes Love) we shared and it hurts so fucking much. I'm convinced that I fucked up, that I should have fought and said I didn't want to break up instead of convincing myself it was for the best. My problem, Reddit, is that it has been 2 months and my feelings for her haven't faded at all. I don't want to look back on my life as the moment I let the girl I loved walk away, but is it fair for me to ask her to give us another shot? Should I move on? Can I? I have this experience with relationships and no other, so I throw myself on your hopefully more experienced advice.
TL;DR: | Broke up with GF, cant move past her. Should I try for a second chance, or let it go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 F] want my boyfriend's [18 M] to like me, help a girl out?
POST: Title pretty much explains it... well, maybe not. But I'll try to keep it brief.
**Background**: we dated for a short while after we met, mutually broke up (still remained good friends after) because we were both too busy, got into a huge fight months later (completely unrelated to our breakup), got over it, got back together and we're better than ever now.
We had planned a date, and it kind of turned into a group thing. So I'm going to end up meeting his friends.
Only problem is, my boyfriend may have said some not-so-nice stuff about me to them a while ago, because we had gotten into a nasty fight and he was really upset. I haven't said anything bad about him to my friends, so they're totally cool with him. His friends either think I'm a total bitch (which I swear I'm not, it was just a stupid fight and we got over it a while ago), or they're really confused as to why we're even together seeing as he said those things about me. And yeah, he realized it was wrong, he came clean about it, and he feels horrible about it. I'm not going to pin this to him forever, because it's not worth getting into a fight about. People make mistakes, so please don't focus on that and tell me he's a horrible boyfriend; he definitely isn't.
TL;DR: | boyfriend said some bad things about me to his friends while we were fighting; we got past it, and I want to prove to his friends that I'm not a bitch. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I (22m) a horrible person for requiring sex in a relationship?
POST: I recently got into a new relationship with a girl (21f) who it turns out is a virgin. We've been together for 3 months now and I'm quite in love with her (she is as well), but no sex. I've told her numerous times that there's no rush and that we'll have sex whenever she's ready, but lately she has been beginning to think that she wants to be abstinent (or at least be abstinent in our relationship). I told her that while I can wait until she's ready, I can't be in a relationship where there will be explicitly no sex. Now she's accusing me of not really loving her and just wanting her for her body. Am I a horrible person for wanting a consummate relationship?
TL;DR: | my girlfriend thinks she may never want to have sex. Am I bad for saying I'll have to leave in that case? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my gf [21 F] 3 years, I needed to change my outlook on life.
POST: It has been 3 years with my (ex) girlfriend and it has been amazing. We have spent great times together, and made a bunch of memories. I could not ask for a better life partner.
Now recently I have not been in the best of moods. I felt like the world was out to get me, and I became mad very easily. This is what set her off the edge.
We would constantly argue about dumb things, so last Saturday she told me she wanted to end our relationship. I was devastated. I cried all of Saturday and lots of Sunday. Sunday night I really started to think about my life in general. Why was I so mad? What could I do to fix it?
I came to the realization that I was not happy with myself and I was portraying my anger to her and a lot of other people. I sat down and made a list of everything that made me mad and each one I read, I thought if I should really be mad at that or was it just be being crazy. Needless to say, after I was done, there was nothing left on the page to be mad about. I feel like a brand new person.
Fast forward to today, I drove her to class at 9:30 and talked to her and explained that I feel so much better that I realized what I was missing just letting things go and being happy. I could tell she was happy to hear that but hesitant to take me back. She told me she still wants time to think. I just wish I can show her how I feel and that this time around is gonna be different. I have even been talking to my parents more, which rarely happened ever. Reddit, she is the one.
TL;DR: | Gf broke up with me because I had a poor attitude and when she did I had a revelation, so to speak, and I know this time around it will be different. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27F] am worried that my past toxic relationship is affecting my relationship with my current boyfriend [28M]
POST: Hi guys! I [27F] was dating a man [26M] for over a year on and off. He was very controlling and manipulative. We were long distance, but he expected CONSTANT communication to the point that it disrupted my life. He also used manipulation and guilt to elicit certain feelings and behaviors from me. We broke up and got back together 3-4 times until I got a counselor, and I finally completely broke up with him in October 2015. We haven't communicated since.
Now, I met my current boyfriend [28M] in February of 2016. He is an incredible guy, lets me be me and doesn't try to control or manipulate. The issue is that although we have only been together for four months, I worry that we haven't connected "deeply" enough. At the same time that I wonder if this is a real concern, I also realize that my last boyfriend was encouraging me to connect "deeply" very quickly because this can be used to trap people into toxic relationships. I also find myself acting in ways that my ex acted towards me, wanting constant communication and feeling insecure when I go a few hours without hearing from him. I feel as though I am mimicking my ex boyfriend's behaviors and that makes me feel ashamed and crazy.
Is this something that happens to people after they have been through toxic relationships? Do you think this is something that I can get over with time? I have refrained from talking to my current boyfriend about my last relationship in detail because it hasn't really come up, and I am worried about being judged for staying in a bad relationship for so long.
TL;DR: | I find myself acting towards my current boyfriend in ways that my ex-boyfriend acted towards me, is this a normal phenomenon after a toxic relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [32F] husband [33 M] and I have started to argue about our daughter [15F].
POST: My husband and I have 4 children. Recently my oldest daughter has been very aggressive and just not how she usually acts.
She has been hitting her siblings and destroying her books and clothes. I want to send her to therapy so we can figure out what's happening but my husband is opposed to the idea.
He thinks that therapy is pointless in this situation and it would be better for us to talk to her, but right now it's just not possible. We've both been very busy with work lately and the small amount of "free time" we have is spent cooking, cleaning, etc. Basically working around the house.
My daughter is stressed about school coming up and exams. Before the problems started I would help her study but now she has no interest in it. She has always done very well in school and took studying and preparing for exams very seriously. This sudden change of behaviour worries me and my husband doesn't seem to want to help her with this.
We had a talk yesterday about my daughter going to therapy and how it could benefit her but he said its pointless and a waste of time. He also said it's too expensive which is strange since money is definitely not a problem.
Ever since therapy has been brought up he's been distant and we talk less and less. When we do talk, we're arguing.
How could I convince my husband about therapy to help our daughter?
TL;DR: | My daughter has been acting strange, I suggested therapy and my husband is very opposed to it and refuses to listen to me about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] and my Girlfriend [23F] of 6years, she says she isn't sure if she still loves me.
POST: So i've been going out with my girlfriend for just shy of 6 years now. 1 month ago she said she wasnt sure if she loved me anymore and wanted to break up/go on a break.
She asked to do no contact so Ive stuck to that and we are going to meet up sometime this week (23/03-29/03) to discuss/clarify where we are at in our relationship.
Im not sure if we are properly broken up or if she just needs time to think, so after 4 weeks of no contact with her i sent her a letter as well as a photobook of photos from our relationship, with the aim of getting her back/keeping her, as I still love her.
However the very little contact i have had with her since contacting her hasn't given me much hope as it sounds like she doesn't want to be together but doesn't want to hurt me.
I used to be so sure on how i felt about her, i already knew when where and how id like to propose to her. However these 5 weeks have filled me with doubts so that if she tells me she does want to stay together I'm not sure anymore whether thats a good idea or not.
Ive read a bunch of stuff online as well as thought alot about it in my head but im really confused as to whether its worth fighting for it or if she has these doubts now am i just going to get hurt more by fighting for it?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and also hopefully itll help to just get things off my chest
We have a fairly complicated relationship but i didnt want to burden people with too big a wall of text in one go.
TL;DR: | My [22M] grilfriend [23F] of 6 years isnt sure if she loves me, is it worth fighting for or should i let her go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: If you make me miss two lights, don't get mad at me when I make you miss your turn.
POST: I was driving home in rush-hour traffic when I got stuck behind a woman who was going significantly slower than the other cars around us. I was in the leftmost lane, and, because of how dense traffic in the other lanes was, I could not get around her. I missed two signals, thanks to her.
Eventually, I did manage to get around and in front of her, as my left-turn would be coming up after another couple of intersections. Suddenly, I noticed in my rear view mirror that she was going to be making a left turn at the approaching intersection, and she was gunning it to make it to the green arrow, looming suddenly larger in my rear view.
Well, needless to say, I slowed way down and made it impossible for her to enter the long left-turn lanes and reach the green arrow in time. I finally gave her enough space to get in, and she raced down the long turn lane past me but the arrow had long since turned red.
As I drove past her, she shot me a death glare and I flashed her a smug grin.
TL;DR: | Woman drives significantly slower than surrounding rush-hour traffic and causes me to miss two lights. I get around and in front of her and cause her to miss her turn. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my friend [19F] who is leaving for military soon
POST: As a preface, I'm using a throwaway because I have friends who know my reddit account and I am really paranoid. Also, this is my first ever post on this sub, if I do anything wrong lemme know how to fix it and I will get on it, thanks!
So there's this girl. I met her at work while I was taking some time off from school (I am a freshman in college now). For the last 2+ years we have just been buddies. Hang out, go places, smoke, same friends, etc. There was never much between us.
A few weeks ago she committed to joining the military. Because of this, we have been spending a LOT more time together. I go to school in a different state, but since I can drive home on weekends and vacations I have been every chance I get. It's not something I really thought twice about; she's going to be gone for 4 years or more and I want to spend time with my friend while I can. She quit her jobs and left school, and I have been home a lot in the past month spending time with her.
It happened: I caught the feels. I don't know if it's the inevitability of her leaving or the fact that I've been spending so much more time with her that made it happen, but it happened. I don't know what to do. I've been sitting on it for a while now and I really can't make a decision on my own. I want to tell her before she leaves because I'm selfish, but I realize that nothing is going to happen because it can't. Obviously there's the chance (probably more likely than not) that she just doesn't want anything to do with it.
I don't know guys. I really just want to read what you all have to say. I'm at a loss for what to do right now moving forward.
TL;DR: | Acquaintance commits to military service, we spend more time together as a result, I catch feelings for her and don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (30/m) want friend (29/F) of 5 years to turn into more, went out now things seem different.
POST: I've been friends with this girl for 5 years and we mainly just text even though she lives 5 minutes away. We've only hung out once or twice in those 5 years due to me having a crazy work schedule and she works and has 3 kids. Recently we've talked more and more and my feelings began to change and our conversations started turning more and more adult. Recently she went out and had a "Crazy" night and when I asked her how it was she started off the conversation with "I didn't make out with anyone or have sex with anyone" and she told me what all occurred. Which I thought was kinda odd to start off the conversation with, so I told her we needed to go do something one day. So we both were free one afternoon last week and we went out to lunch. Everything went great, I picked her up, I opened doors, we had nice conversation, I paid for lunch and I wasn't nervous like I normally am around girls.
However since then, I've found myself hesitant to text her; it's like I'm scared to. We've talked almost nightly since then and I kind of want to see where this is going, but something seems off in our conversations. I don't know if after our lunch she doesn't see me like I see her? I don't know if it's just all in my head? How I bring it up to her?
TL;DR: | Friendship looked to have been turning into something more, took friend of 5 years out to lunch now things seem odd don't know how to approach her about how I feel. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23 M] friend girl [22 F] doesn't feel comfortable with me hanging with other friend girl [21 F] who may like me
POST: Hey r/relationships. Pretty new to posting on reddit, but I'm in a pretty interesting moral dilemma. I'll try to be concise.
So I have been friends with this one girl [22F] (let's call Karen) for close to a year. We are really close and talk/hang on a daily basis. I asked Karen out back a few months ago, however she asked if we could stay friends. I'm not one to be insulted by that denial, because I still like her as a friend and I feel like we moved on.
Fastforward to July where this other girl (Emily) [21 F], who was friends with both of us, makes out with one of our other friend's ex. Obviously this doesn't sit well with our other friend and I agree it was pretty shitty, but he had moved on and our girl friend had not.
However, Karen took sides and sided against Emily to the point where she doesn't feel comfortable with me hanging out with her. Karen has admitted that when she and her ex broke up, her ex fell for Emily and that hasn't sat well with her (Emily didn't do anything with her ex).
Karen has explicitly said to me she doesn't feel comfortable if I go out and hang with Emily when it's just the two of us. I think Emily may like me and Karen thinks that too, but I don't see Emily that way.
It's an odd situation because I don't get the sense Karen likes me like outside of being friends, but we are still really good friends (like as I said, talk/call like a lot). I don't want to break things off with Emily because we get along and she invites me out to hang (nothing ever has happened between us), however I also don't want to lose Karen as a friend.
I feel like I am caught in an awkwardly plutonic/non-plutonic triangle. I mean even if I did see Emily that way, should that not matter because I am not going out with Karen? Honestly not sure what to do at this point.
TL;DR: | friend girl I asked out a while doesn't feel comfortable with me hanging out with girl she doesn't like anymore. Plutonic/non-plutonic triangle. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: [Help] How to stop my cat from biting/ scratching.
POST: Hi Everyone,
Let me start off by saying this is the first cat I have ever owned and we (my gf and I) kinda found this one abadoned by its mother. We took it in, cleaned it up (had flea infection / ring worms etc) and just had it neutered (about 1 month ago).
The problems we have been is both of us have work for most of the day so the cat is being left alone for about 8 hours a day at least and right as we get home we have other things to do besides just playing with the cat for an hour or more at a time. This I believe has led the cat to act crazy and he has taken to biting and attacking our feet (he always did this even when he was little but just didnt notice it as much cause he was tiny).
Is there any way to teach the cat that biting is wrong (we have tried the spray bottle, clapping, saying no, ignoring the cat, all which work sometimes but usually just goes back to the old behavior) or that we cant play as much as he wants to or is the only thing we can do just wait it out until the cat is older (how old would he have to be to get out of this phase? )
Thanks for all the help you can give me, sorry for this long question.
TL;DR: | My cat bites and scratches me, we have tried the spray bottle, clapping, saying no, and ignoring the cat to no avail. What else can we do or is this just a phase we must endure? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [M27] seems distant with me [F24]...
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together about a year. Everything has been fine up until about a week ago. He hasn't been acting the same, has seemed like he isn't happy to see me, and hasn't been as affectionate. I've confronted him with my feelings and all three times he's nonchalantly denied them.
This has lead me to believe that i'm overreacting for some reason, and that he's just more comfortable with me and i'm just insecure. I wouldn't think he would be the type to dump me out of the blue, but unfortunately it's happened to be in the past and i'm terrified of it happening again.
I'm usually right about these 'hunches' that I have. I'm not sure if I should have a serious conversation with him about it and risk looking crazy, insecure, etc. or I should just wait and see if things get better or he brings it up himself... what do I do?! I don't want to ruin my relationship but I don't want to be a sitting duck either...
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of a year seems distant but denies it when I ask him. I'm worried i'm acting crazy or that i'm totally right and am not sure what do to next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a college student who can't focus on anything, and I'm on the verge of just giving up. What should I do, reddit?
POST: It's past half way through the semester and I'm doing very poorly in two of my classes. The most important ones. I'm trying to be an engineer, and I'm epicly failing my math and physics courses, which while difficult to begin with, are not impossible. But I can't focus on studying. I don't prioritize things properly. I don't feel like I have real friends who I can talk to. My family is separated from me by quite the distance. I'm super stressed. I feel like giving up.
I don't know what to do. I'm just trying to sort things out. But I can't. I can't think properly anymore. I'm demotivated to continue college.
TL;DR: | I feel like a giant, lazy f***-up who's wasting his time and his parents money on a prestigious college, what do you think I should do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20F] Spending 7 weeks apart from new boyfriend [20M] of three months; how to keep relationship strong?
POST: My boyfriend and I met each other in January, started hooking up in March, and it was clear early on we both had serious feelings for the other. Things progressed quickly from hooking up every night to dating within a month, and by mid-May we were in a relationship. For the past month we've been seeing each other every day, have both met each others' parents, and have essentially been living together in the same city. I left for 7 weeks of study abroad yesterday, and saying goodbye to him was the first time he's seen me cry since we met.
We're not staying exclusive while I'm gone because he was concerned we didn't have the solid foundation on which to build a long-distance exclusive relationship and was worried he would start resenting me while alone in the city he's in. All along, I've been the one more concerned about exclusivity, but I said that I took him at his word that us staying exclusive while I'm gone would be harmful. As I was leaving, he said that the absence might be a good thing, as we've spent so much time together in the past month that both of us have forgotten what it's like to miss the other.
That said, I'm worried that an absence almost as long as the duration of our relationship is going to lead to overthinking and fizzling. Any advice as to how I can keep our feelings for each other strong while I'm gone? I really like this guy and don't want the good thing we had to have died over the long break. This is my first seemingly serious relationship (he dated his HS GF for three years) and I really want to make it work.
TL;DR: | Dated a guy for three months, the last of which was very serious, just left for 7 weeks, anxious to keep it alive. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU trying to impress my girlfriend on NYE
POST: Long time lurker (25m). Made an account on the advice of my GF just to share my fuck up with the world.
This literally happened a couple of hours ago and my body is still aching. Not sure if this counts as bodily discharge/sexual but here goes nothing!
So, I thought I'd try clearing the forest in my nether regions as a surprise for my lovely GF on NYE... And in my haste, decided to use my facial hair trimmer, things were going so well on the naval, i decided to continue lower down. About 10 seconds later, the grin on my face disappeared, to be replaced with a look of horror and fear. I don't think i need to go into more detail here but there was blood. Lots of blood.
I'm going to need alcohol tomorrow night - to numb the emotional pain of my fuck up and to drown out the fact that i am in no fit state to get laid on NYE.
Happy new year everyone!
TL;DR: | Tried to impress by manscaping, ended up ripping skin off part of my genitalia. Will not be getting any, any time soon. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Would it be crazy of me[25f] to bring this up to my boyfriend[28m]?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, living together for 1. We have a great relationship and have talked about getting married in the not too distant future.
We just want to be in a steady place first. We have a beautiful house together, and he recently went through a career change that is working out great.
My crazy part. I would like to be married within the next year, preferably over the summer. Reason being that my grandfather most likely won't live out another year. He's 85, and has had 2 strokes in the last year, among many other health issues. He's been rapidly going downhill, and can no longer do things for himself. He's mentally fine, but not physically. He's clearly depressed. He can't do anything that he loves anymore.
My grandfather has always been a big influence in my life, and it would mean so much to me, and him, to have him at my wedding. Since we have plans to be married, I feel like I should be able to talk to him about this. We don't want a crazy extravagant wedding anyways. I'd be willing to get married in the yard.
If he wants to wait, that's fine, I won't be upset. It's a big commitment. BUT, my SO has a tendency to look too deep into things, and I don't want him to feel that I'm trying to pressure him into anything.
Would it be okay to ask him about this? And if so, how would I go about it without sounding insane?
TL;DR: | SO and I plan to be married later, but I would like it to be this summer so my grandfather will live to be there. Not sure how to approach it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22/F] am seemingly unable to make friends outside of college and am about to move across the country
POST: I made friends in college because I was forced friends with my roommate and the girl across the hall, and then they made friends that I absorbed by proxy. After college I moved to a different state with my s/o, and we haven't made any friends besides one guy I sat across from at work, who we've hung out with maybe 3 or 4 times this year.
I didn't think I was really the issue until I was moved from one building to another for work. My coworkers (it's 3 of us in one room) are talkative, loud people, so I'm relatively friendly and comfortable with them.
But for instance, we have a student worker at the front desk, let's call her Eliza. I told my coworker how hard it was to talk to Eliza, that she couldn't hold conversation, and how awkward it was. He told me that he had no issues talking to her, and she had told him that I didn't talk to her.
A few weeks later, I commented on how awkward another girl on our team is (in a different building) and how hard she is to hold conversation with, and that same coworker was completely confused and said that she's super talkative.
So apparently it's me, and my people skills. Unless people aggressively try to be my friend, or are friends with my friends and we're forced together, I can't make friends with people!
I'm moving to Austin, TX next week to pursue other career opportunities and I'll be living with my s/o but I don't want to fall into the same pattern we have been. Advice on how to fix this?
TL;DR: | I can't make friends. Thought it was everyone else, apparently it's me. Help me learn to hold conversation with strangers? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update- I [26F] have been overhearing inappropriate comments from one of my coworkers [M50s]...
POST: Here is the original:
So, I told my boss' boss. She looked absolutely appalled and shocked and said she might need a statement later on. I found out she told the principal and the vice principal. Since then, NOTHING has happened. He is still here, he is still chatting with girls, now he has taken up talking with *my* girls that sit in a particular seat closest to him. I haven't heard him say anything inappropriate, but he still absolutely 100% gives off the creepy uncle vibe. I don't really know what to do now. I did my part and he is still somewhat weird and overly friendly with the girls. Not really sure if anything else will happen, but I'm a little upset nothing else came of it. If a man grabbed *my* daughter by the throat, I'd tear the school apart.
I can't stand being next to him. He still tries to include me in conversations and be funny with me, or semi-flirtatious and I feel gross and annoyed every day.
I guess there's not much else to say here. Advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: | I told. He is still creepy, but has stopped talking outright about inappropriate things. I think he is still weirdly friendly with the female students. Not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I once convinced a group of girls I was completely deaf. Reddit, what's the strangest lie you've ever told a stranger?
POST: Story time! I was hanging out with my friends at McDonalds one day about a year ago. It was generally boring as hell and we couldn't think of anything to do. My one buddy said that a friend of his was gonna meet up with us with a couple of her friends. I didnt know the girls and was still bored at this point so I decided to have some fun with this. before they got there I said to my friends, "listen up guys, I'm gonna pretend to be deaf, go along with it." because why the fuck not.
The girls arrive and introduce themselves. When it comes to my turn, my friend Marty introduces me and explains that I'm deaf to them and proceeds to sign me their names. They start talking to themselves at this point (I'm fairly sure they had never encountered a deaf person before) and seemed to struggle with the concept. they tried to get my attention by saying my name for instance, and when I didn't react, they would just say it louder. Marty does a good job translating for me and making up fake answers.
Eventually, I start messing with my phone and pretend to ignore them to see how they react. They begin talking amongst themselves and I discover how truly stupid they were. One of them asked where my dog was. Another murmured in agreement but the third actually had a thought and realized seeing eye dogs were for blind people. then they begin to ponder that concept with their infinite wisdom. One asked how blind people see through there dogs and said it was amazing. Another came up with the explanation that there is some sort of connection through the leash.
Not laughing at that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Eventually we left and I completely lost it in the car.
TL;DR: | I convinced a group of girls I was deaf, they proceed to confuse being deaf with being blind and assume blind people can literally see through their dogs. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] have seen some suspicious activity from my girlfriend of 7 months [23F] when we swapped phones by accident. What do I do next? Help!
POST: Some background info... My girlfriend broke up with her last boyfriend of 3 years after cheating on him 4 times when away on an exchange program, for the last 4 months of they're relationship (she fucked the first guy 5 days in), the last guy was me, and we started going out.
So, my girlfriend and I went on holiday together, we switched phones by accident (same phone), and she went home and I will be joining her in a few days.
Over the weekend she went to a wedding in Ohio and at 2:30am I received a call on her phone from a new number, I picked up and there was just the sound of a crowd for a while and then the line cut, I called back and a guy replied hello and then after I said 'who is this' he quickly hung up.
I then received a text from my girlfriend saying 'Love u called u off a e' ??
An hour later she drunkenly called me when she was at home and when I asked her about it she said that she was giving her number to a guy called Mark so that her sister could get with him. Sounds highly suspicious to me, she then went on to make a joke when I said that her story had changed saying 'Rookie error'.
She also said that she left the wedding because 'we all know what happens at weddings and had I stayed longer...'
As a result Im suspicious and wondering what she has been doing and despite her saying many times she only wants to be with me whether I should stop the inevitable from happening and end it with her just because she's going to inevitably cause trouble in the future? Or whether I'm looking too much into it. I would like a serious relationship with her if she can be trusted.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend showing multiple signs of mistrust and got a call on her phone from a guy who just hung up when he heard my voice and wondering whether I should break up with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my GF [20F] of 6 months. She says I have little say in naming future children?
POST: Been seeing a girl for 6 months. Get along real well with her and have no complaints so far. We were sitting down one day, and the conversation about "What would you name your kids?" came up. I offered mine, and she gave her opinions on them, what she liked, what she didn't. That's cool. So I asked about hers. I said I wasn't much of a fan regarding one of the names she mentioned, and she came back with a "Well, I'd be the one carrying the baby, so it's not like you would have a choice."
When I dug deeper, she cited that because it's the woman who has to go through the pregnancy and everything that comes with it, so it's only fair that she gets final say in naming her future child. I would never argue what a woman has to go through vs what a man has too. But it's not like the man just sits there and eats popcorn while everything is going on! Plus, it's also raising the child that's important too ya know?
Anyways, I never thought I'd come across a situation like this. I sort of get it, but at the same time it leaves a bad taste in my mouth that she can just freely disregard the names I would ever suggest, and take very little input from me regarding what she wants. Has anyone come across this? Maybe I'm missing something? How can we solve this?
TL;DR: | GF says that because women have to carry the child, men barely have any say in naming the child. I'm butt hurt about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I feel defeated, and unloved (25F, 25M)
POST: My "boyfriend" and I have been together a few years now, but three months ago we decided we needed some space and I moved out (we had a drunken fight and my insecurities came out).
We've since been trying to reconcile, but he won't make things official with me and I feel my self-esteem diminishing. I have never loved someone so much and his lack of effort is making my heart break.
I don't know how to get over my insecurities with him, I'm meant to be going up to stay with his family in a couple of months and I've bought the tickets and everything ($500)... I'm starting to regret it.
What do you do when you feel you're fighting a losing battle? How do I cope? I feel so broken knowing he isn't putting much effort into making this work.
I've talked to him about this and he says he wants to make things work, but then doesn't do anything to do so.
I guess I don't know what point I'm trying to make, I just wanted to write my feelings out somewhere.
TL;DR: | Feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with my boyfriend but love him to much to end things. Is there anything I can do to better our situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] think I'm in love with a friend of mine [22F].
POST: So basically there's this girl that I have known for a couple years that has a boyfriend. She's really in love with him, thinks that they'll end up getting married, all that good stuff. And I'm totally crazy about her. This has been going on for about a year now. We have very complimenting personalities, I think about her all the time, I think she's beautiful. I always take is as a sign of immaturity when someone says they are in love with someone they've never had a relationship with, but I honestly think I might be.
So all of that would be well in good under normal circumstances. I could just let it go and get on with my life, maybe keep an eye on how they're doing and try to step up if they broke up. Except I know she feels the same about me. We've never done anything that would be considered cheating, but she has told me many times that she thinks about me a lot and in another life we would have been great together. The other night she (drunkenly) said that she loves me, and even thought it was probably just drunken niceness, I detected some seriousness in how she said it.
So not sure what to do. I don't think it's necessarily wrong to try to temp someone away from a relationship. I'm not thinking about getting her drunk and banging her or anything. But maybe letting her know how strongly I feel about her and remaining friends and maybe some day she'll think that we would be a better match. Or would the better option be to stop hanging out with, talking to, anything with her?
TL;DR: | I think I'm in love with a friend of mine that is in a relationship. I think she feels the same. Try to do something about it or avoid the situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Investment strategy in preparation for a making a down payment on a house in the next 2-3 years?
POST: How should I be investing savings to prepare for a down payment on a house? I currently rent an apartment but would like to buy in the next 2-3 years.
* Age: 24
* Income: 50 K
* Savings account: 11K in high yield savings account (2.8%)
* Stocks: 3K
* 401k: 6 K
* Debt: 0
After expenses, excluding 13% contribution to 401K, I place about $700/month into a high yield savings account.
Research tells me I should maintain a cushion of 2-3K in cash and move all remaining savings to a low risk mutual fund (likely above 3%/year returns) until the money is needed for the down payment on a home. Does this sound right?
TL;DR: | I want to buy a house in 2-3 years. How should I invest savings for a near-term down payment on a house? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: So... You like to burn bridges huh? How about I help you out, there...
POST: So, this guy used to work at the same place I did but was fired for missing a bunch of shifts and other stupid shit. I didn't know him too well, but he seemed like a decent enough human being, so I befriended him.
Fast forward a few weeks after his firing. We chat on FB and he's telling me what his life has been like since he was "unfairly" terminated, and how much he hates the company and a lot of vulgar and graphic obscenities that I'd have to add a NSFW tag to this post.
Sometime last week he made a post on his wall about how much he misses the company and has always loved it and can't wait until he joins the employment ranks at said company again.
I couldn't help myself... I posted a comment along the lines of *I thought you said you hated this company and that they could |expletive, expletive|*
Within seconds the comment was taken down and I was PMed about why I would make stuff up like that. I jogged his memory of the instances he dissed the company. He told me how it was his dream job. I laughed to myself.
The conversation took a downward spiral when he threatened my well being, put me down, and all around bridge torcher. He made darn certain he didn't want me as a virtual friend anymore.
I didn't take too kindly to that so, as my petty revenge I took screen caps of our PMs together at every spot he dissed the company and the threats he laid into me. Afterwards I posted a comment, with him tagged along with the screen caps.
Moral of the story? Don't dis n piss.
TL;DR: | Guy gets fired. Guy talks shit about company was fired from. Guy gets his feathers ruffled and blows things out of proportion with threats when called out on his bullshit. Guy gets exposed for the slime ball he really is. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [26 M] with my [25 F] GF of 2 months. Great relationship, Can't feel a deep, intimate connection.
POST: I got out of a long relationship (4 years) that was leading towards a marriage.
It's been a year since the messy break up and I've been going on a few dates until I met my current GF where we've been going steady.
Though it's only been 2 months, she's been nothing but wonderful to me. She's beautiful and I've never had someone who treated me with such kindness and understanding. We have similar humor, compatible interests, and also make up for where each other's lacking.
It seems she wants me to commit a little more and wants a serious relationship with me but I cannot feel the deep connection I felt with my previous SO.
I felt similar connection after my SO with another girl which didn't work out because she moved to different country for her work.
My friend tells me that connection I feel missing probably means nothing and something that I probably grown out of at my age.
Another friend tells me that it's something that may come at later times and I'd be fool to let this one go.
I don't want to mislead myself or my current GF and I also don't want to push myself out of a happiness because "I can't feel it".
I'm not sure if I'm not feeling it because I'm older now or because I'm too jaded when it comes to relationships to feel such things quickly or ever again.
TL;DR: | Have a wonderful relationship with an amazing person. We're compatible, share interests, and understanding of one another. However, I can't seem to feel a deep connection with her as I did with my previous SO. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my boyfriend [17 M] of 10 months, got a job. I'm having really strong negative feelings about it, what should I do?
POST: So my boyfriend got a job this past week. I am very happy for him. But I also applied to the same job, and I was thinking it would have been a great opportunity for me to work on my people skills. He goes there almost the whole day now. He also stays at school until 5pm every day, leaving me with very little time of seeing him.
My problem is that I've been feeling very jealous when he leaves to go to his job. I really hate feeling this way and it isn't fair to him. It almost seems to me that he goes there and has a better time than I could ever give him. He gets money, 'cute boys' as he says, and many other perks. I've gone from seeing him almost everyday to maybe just once a week. It's been wrecking him & me. Does anyone have any words of advice? I have also been feeling useless that I don't have a job now. I find myself wish that he gets fired. That's horrible and I really hate feeling like that to someone that I'm supposed to love.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend got a job, go from seeing him 4+ times a week to seeing him 1 time a week for a few hours. What do I need to do to make this easier for me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help! I'm 25 year old virgin who has sex in the imminent future and needs sexual guidance.
POST: Here's the gist: I'm an embarrassed 25 year old male virgin. A female friend and I have recently began hooking up a bit. We're getting into the "friends with benefits" zone and it's been getting spicy. Last time we hooked up, she was ready to have sex but I didn't have a condom. She gave me lots of shit for that.
Thing is, I've hooked up with girls before, I'm mildly attractive and I have a good amount of confidence in myself. I don't *seem* like a virgin... but I am... due to some complicated circumstances (not physical). I have had some girlfriends and flings, so my friends assume that i'm not a virgin... and I even lied and said I wasn't because I don't want them to know (not like its any of their business anyway... but I do feel ashamed for lying and would rather no one discover that **personal** detail)
So I need your help! I know that sex is going to happen *soon*. I don't want to get inside of my good friend and make a mistake that's going to give me away. I just want it to go smoothly and enjoy myself. I'm embarrassed to post this, and I'm sure this seems funny to a lot of you. But please bear with me here.
So please, sexperts of reddit, explain to me as if I'm a young teenager what to.... do..... when I'm in there. Also, some cunnilingus tips would be greatly appreciated.
Seriously: I am very sexually uneducated. So even tell me stuff that you would imagine that EVERYONE knows.
TL;DR: | I'm a 25 year old male and I'm still technically a virgin. Sex is pretty much guaranteed to be in my very near future and I need you, reddit, to teach me how to do it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22F) don't know how to handle it when my boyfriend (24M) of 2.5 years refuses to talk to me about things that bother him.
POST: In a relationship, is it healthy to have issues that couples don't discuss, or should a couple be able to talk about anything, however trivial?
There are times when my(22 F) boyfriend (24M) of 2.5 years will clam up and not want to discuss an issue. For background, we have been dating seriously for a long time and constantly discuss marriage and children.
Some issues are trivial. For instance, he's a med school student. Today, when I told him "good luck with the studying", he said that he wished I wouldn't say that. He didn't want to discuss how his studying was going.
In other instances, he has clammed up when he has had a major issue like a fight with a friend or family member. When this has happened to me, he always wants to know what has happened and to listen. If I don't want to tell him, he'll keep asking until I do tell him. However, in his case, when I want to know, he won't say anything. He'll say things like, "There's nothing to tell" or "I don't want to talk about it." End of story. That's it. I might know that whatever it is is truly bothering him, but he just won't talk about some of those things.
He also admits that he has had a double standard when it comes to this issue.
I want to know what is fair/appropriate for couples as far as sharing information. Should everything be open or is it alright to have issues that you refuse to discuss with your partner?
TL;DR: | ! My boyfriend sometimes refuses to discuss both trivial and serious situations in his life, and I don't know if it is healthy for couples to have some topics they don't want to discuss with a partner. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I (19m) thinking about moving in with my girlfriend (20) too soon and/or too much?
POST: We've been together since about May, and recently the lease on her current flat with a roommate is up in March. She's going to be living alone from then, but I'd probably be there around 5, if not more, nights a week anyway. I still live at home with my parents, she hasn't lived at home since she was 17 (for university).
We haven't spoken about moving in, but if we were to speak about it, how would it best be brought up? What are things to consider before even considering moving in together? Is it too soon to be thinking about this? Why is this on my mind so much?!
Any and all advice would be really helpful.
TL;DR: | not sure if I'm thinking about moving in too soon or thinking about it too much, any advice would be helpful. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think I deserve more, he thinks I'm manic depressive
POST: My boyfriend (24) and I (20F) have been together for a year and a half, we live together, but lately every little argument leads to the thought of breaking up. When he asks why, I say because I think I deserve more. (he doesn't have a job, drinks often and is usually short tempered) He then says that it's just my mood swings leading on these arguments, I'm crazy, manic depressive etc... I often look up bipolar disorder because sometimes I feel like I am going insane by how often I am told this. I love him more than anything and we have an amazing time together for the most part but I just really need help, I can't afford to see a doctor Is it over? Should I work at it even if he says there's nothing for him to improve on?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend thinks I'm manic depressive for asking him to be "better" I guess I want to know if I am being unreasonable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Looking to the future, minimizing student loan debt
POST: Hi all, I've been reading a lot of the posts that have come up here about student loans, and I come asking your advice for the FUTURE so hopefully I can do the least amount of harm while I'm still in school so when I get out I can limit the damage I've done in terms of loans.
Currently I'm in a PharmD/MSCR (clinical research) program at my school and may pick up an MBA as well. In the end I believe I'll have approximately 180-200k in student loans (my school is stupid expensive). Yes I know it is a high amount, but it's the path that I've chosen. When I do eventually graduate I will no have a bachelors though, so I may be in an odd situation..but as it stands right now, I believe I will do a residency.
In all, I'm just seeking some advice right now so that while I'm going through school I can limit the damage I do in loans. I'm fairly frugal, and really deliberate any excessive spending.
TL;DR: | School is stupid expensive. Debt will be massive. Looking at how to limit the damage in loans through the rest of schooling. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: When to use my credit card?
POST: I'm 18 and I'm going to college this year. My parents are paying for everything in my undergrad, including a monthly stipend. However if I go on to graduate school, I pay the loans, while they pay for living expenses and the same monthly stipend. (So I'm basically taken care of for my early 20s).
The reason I don't want to use my credit very often is because I'm not sure how reliable my willpower/memory will be in my freshman year. I plan to view my credit card as locked in a prison and it can only get out for select purposes because I really don't want 15% interest on debt I could have avoided. I hope this can be achieved while being relatively safe from theft.
I have a debit, credit, and savings. I will try to find a manageable 10-20 hour job so I have a bit of extra cash to work with, and since my parents are paying for almost everything, 75% of the paycheck will go into the savings, 25 to the debit. I have a $100 monthly allowance on the joint debit.
I want to use the debit most of the time, but I've heard that identity theft is a problem for debit users, so I'm wondering when it would be to my advantage to use credit. I also don't really care about cash back or chargeback time, so I was thinking gas stations or grocery stores would be pretty safe.
TL;DR: | when should I use my debit over my credit(don't care about cash back or the length of time for a chargeback to go through) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: As someone who is usually good with figuring out signals, I (18f) am extremely confused by this guy (18m).
POST: I've known this guy since August (wow, that seems like a short time in retrospect, but I've gotten to know the guy pretty well) and ever since our first meeting there has been some sort of spark. We're in singing and dance class (he's not gay, trust me) and we've had to partner up at times and there's always some sort of underlying sexual tension that is always awkward because I just want to focus on the task at hand!
He's flirty with everyone, but even so, I've noticed some things he does just to me (kissing on the cheek/top of my head, calling my "beautiful, gorgeous", very "boyfriend-like" hugs, etc. Stuff that he doesn't really do to the other girls). Other girls in our class have noticed this singular flirty attention, but I'm torn between whether he's just a shameless flirt and I shouldn't get wrapped in whatever vibe he's giving off or maybe he's actually giving clear signs.
Frankly, I don't think he'd be very interested in me (aw, moment of silence for the Forever Alone), but I can't stop puzzling over it. I'm predicting most people will say that he's just a regular playa and not to worry over it, but I've seen flashes of the sweet guy I can tell he's masking and can't help but wonder. I'm a girl, all we do is over analyze. Please, what do you guys think?
TL;DR: | Not sure if this guy is just a run of the mill flirt and I'm in over my head or if there's potential for something more. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, please help me achieve my new year's resolution. It would mean a lot.
POST: I've decided that this year I am going to try and solve one of the biggest problems I have. My hair. Or, lack thereof.
Since last year, I've noticed that my hair has been looking thinner and thinner, and It's not been a huge problem until recently, when I got it cut pretty short. I've discovered that my hair is thinning very quickly, and that it is falling out faster as well. I've started to eat healthier, work out more, and I'm taking multivitamins to help, but It doesn't appear to be doing much. And here's the kicker:
You may think this is some thirty-something redditor looking for a solution to aging, but I am only 19 years old, and this started around 18. I'm pretty sure hair loss isn't common at this age. I want to try and reverse this.
Any advice or knowledge on this subject would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!
TL;DR: | My hair is thinning and falling out, and I'm only 19. Is there anything I can do to reverse this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, have you been bullied as an adult? What's your advice to those who have?
POST: ~~I'll go first.~~
~~This past spring I had a business class that was necessary for my IST degree. Another student in the class developed a dislike for me upon week two when the teacher asked if anyone had anything to say about being a minority in a workplace.~~
~~He spoke about what it was like to be a republican conservative in a liberal world. I thought it was a weird topic, but nonetheless listened to what he had to say.~~
~~Another student went next, explaining what it was like to be a documented Mexican-American.~~
~~I went next. I decided to talk about what it was like having Autism in a neuro-typical world. The first student interrupted me and said "I though you were going to talk about what it was like being a faggot in the bible belt." The teacher said "Okay I think everyone's finished now" and went on with the lesson without allowing me to finish, or asking him not to say that again. I quietly packed my things and left while the class laughed.~~
~~From that week on, every time I walked into the class he had something to say to me regardless of the fact I ignored him.~~
~~Today I found out that he's in two of my fall classes because he changed majors from Business to IST. I'm more than a little nervous.
TL;DR: | Student bullies me throughout spring semester in class, teacher unresponsive. Now the student is in two of my fall classes.~~ |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it mean if I (21/M) am not friends with a girl (22/f) who wants to be friends with me
POST: So there was this international student this year at my college. She came and I instantly liked her. At first she sorta friendzoned me but after a month and a half of work I was able to get out of the friendzone and for a week and a half she said she liked me. We were sorta of dating without dating.
But some things happened and she decided to give up becuase it was complicated and stressful for her. Now she wants to be friends with me but I still like her.
Is it mean to just not be friends with her? Especially since she is an international student and doesn't have many American friends already? Does it make me an asshole to just say "I don't want to be your friend"?
P.S. our college is super small, like only 1,000 students, so I see her a bit still.
TL;DR: | I chased a girl for two months then she finally decided to call it off and tell me she didn't like me anymore. Do I have to be friends with this person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Disillusioned Redditors - where else is there to go? [Serious]
POST: Reddit has so much potential - so many creative / interesting types sharing their work and thoughts, so much interesting content. But it's also (and this is not unique to reddit) a cesspool full of racists and angry little mysogynists.
The admins could do something but they won't. They hide behind "free speech" bullshit, but I'm sure we can all think of a recent example of something happening that highlights their bullshit hypocrisy. Free speech is fine. So is valuing basic human decency and saying "you know what, we don't want racist shitheads or people who post dog porn videos on this site". So you'll alienate these people and drive them away from the site..SO FUCKING WHAT?!
TL;DR: | sorry for the ramble. Fuck reddit, the assholes and the admins have ruined it for the majority of decent people. What other similar-ish websites should we defect to? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24m) have been dating this girl (23f) for over a year. She won't call it a relationship.
POST: I want to forget about it. It's just a label. But it's so humiliating for me when she introduces me to friends and family as her "friend." It makes me feel like she's ashamed of me.
She says she doesn't want to feel "trapped." I'm not even sure what that means, because it seems like such a minimal amount of commitment. She had just gotten out of a 4-year relationship when I asked her out on our first date early last year (which is why I took things slowly).
She talks about wanting to get married and have kids. She's moving in with me next month. She obviously likes me a lot, and I'm crazy about her. I enjoy and appreciate what we have, and I don't want to push her on this, but I don't feel like I should roll over and ignore my feelings.
TL;DR: | We've been dating for a year, but she doesn't want to call it a relationship. How can I explain why it's important? Should I just get over it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need help integrating new dog into the household
POST: Hi reddit. So recently, we adopted a 9 month old German Shephard mix female named Echo. Our household already has three other dogs, all male, and they just will not accept the new dog into the home. Details of the other dogs/how they interact with her:
Tito: chihuahua/miniature pinscher mix. 1 1/2 years old. NOT fixed. Extremely aggressive toward her. He gets very possessive of his food, toys, furniture, and even me (he's my dog, not the families) with her. He will growl, bare his teeth, snarl, bark, and lunge at her and attack her. Luckily, he's only 9lbs so he's too small to do any damage, but there have been a few times where she starts to attack back and I'm scared he's going to get hurt one of these days.
Gizmo: 7 years old toy poodle mix. Fixed male. Very afraid of the new dog. Usually stays away from her but barks at her from afar, however if he does get close enough he will bare his teeth and growl and will snap occasionally.
Harley: 8 year old bichon/poodle mix. Fixed male. He doesn't really care about the new dog at all, doesn't really give her the time of day. Sometimes he'll bark if everyone else is but he isn't really a problem by himself with her.
TL;DR: | Prior male dogs are very aggressive with our new female dog we just brought in. Any help or advice anyone who has been in a similar situation or knows anything about this would be greatly appreciated! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my co-manager [22F]- she has seniority- disagreed on a raise for her friend and I went over her head. What to do now?
POST: I have been working as a co-manager for a restaurant for 7 months now, the other manager, K, has been there for 2 years, about 1 year as a manager. We recently gave her friend and our employee, N, a 50 cent raise. N has since then been two hours late to a shift, left mult. shifts early, messed up large orders and been generally rude to me and other workers. K has let this all slide because they are friends.
Well K had asked me to call in a raise for N this week because N has been bugging her for one. I expressed my concern over N's behavior, I was told that I was overreacting and that N was a good worker who deserved it. This pissed me off. So I went to the owner of our "chain" (3 stores) and told her everything. She agreed that N did not deserve a raise and thanked me for filling her in.
K sent me scathing text messages about how I undermined her and tried going around her and how it was unprofessional. Well, it kind of was. But I felt like I had no other option. I won't reward someone for being a shitty worker and I don't play favorites.
I work with K tomorrow and don't really know what to say. I feel that I was in the right, but maybe I should give the brat her raise and call it a day.
TL;DR: | Co-manager gives her friend a raise, I disagree and go over her head, we fight and she hates me. What now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: I have two dogs, I can't seem to teach the younger dog anything! Help please!
POST: So about this time last year we got a GSD Akita cross. His name is Cave. He's great, super smart and I had him trained in a few weeks with clicker & cheese, so he can sit, paw, lie down, all that good stuff and housebreaking was barely an issue. Then a few months later we decided to get him a friend, he's GSD with a quarter husky thrown in for good measure, he's called Ludo. They get along like a house on fire, everything Cave does, Ludo wants to do to, he follows him everywhere, and he does not like when Cave is out of the house without him, this I think is part of the problem.
Ludo is also super smart and has learned to play me. Housebreaking with Ludo again barely an issue, he learned sit really fast too, but then when I tried paw Cave was like "Hey I can do that! Here's my paw! Here's my paw! Here's my paw! What about the other paw?" So I end up giving him the treat and feeling bad for little dog and give him one too. OK so that doesn't work. Got my boyfriend to take Cave out for a walk to give me and Ludo some time to try paw and such. Ludo freaks out when Cave goes somewhere without him. I tried to distract him with toys and treats and such but to no avail and with thanks to the husky in him he's very shrieky and vocal about his displeasure... so that doesn't work and just gives me headache. I tried to put Cave outside so I can train Ludo, Cave can hear me and know's there's treats going on in here so he goes mad outside which in turn distracts Ludo.
I know it's not a huge deal not being able to give paw and lie down and stuff but I just think the training I gave to Cave has got him to learn to respect me more or something where as Ludo is just wild sometimes and he doesn't really listen to me and takes his cues from Cave instead. Any ideas I can try?
TL;DR: | Older dog distracts younger dog when I'm trying to train him, taking older dog out of the situation doesn't work either cos little dog freaks out that he's gone. Suggestions please. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M/28] dating [F/27] Is dating ever about making sacrifices? (I am spending all my money, doing all the driving and in a sexually dry relationship).
POST: [M/28] dating [F/27]
Just curious... my views may be way too negative, but lately for some reason I been thinking about who makes the most sacrificing in the relationship, it may be very unhealthy to think like this, but dating her is bringing me to this point.
1. She believes a women should never pay for anything date wise... which is all fine and dandy, until I looked at the $500-600 I spent over the last 2 months. I dont think she would ever be ok spending that amount on me.
2. I do all the driving, when I recommend meeting me somewhere for dinner she claims its "too far", its getting dark or she does not want to get lost. I average about 30 minutes each way to see her.
3. She wants a no sex till marriage relationship, I am ok with zero vaginal intercourse till marriage, but I would expect a lot of heavy foreplay to happen in the mix.. well I am learning that foreplay is reserved for when were very serious (AKA engaged)
This got me thinking.. what is sacrificing? She literally just gets the princess treatment as I blow my money, time and get completely zero sexual satisfaction. She gets free meals, limo service, and zero worry about giving up any thing sexual.
I know it shouldnt always be about sex, but the zero sexual affection going on, makes me feel like I am in a very expensive friendship.
TL;DR: | I feel like my girlfriend sacrifices nothing in the relationship, and gets treated like a princess, should there be sacrificing in a relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [21M] had sex with my friend [21M] while on holiday, first time gay sex, I don't know how to feel.
POST: So I was on holiday with my best friend a few weeks ago, we got really drunk one night and decided to head back to our hotel room. We sobered up and decided to head to bed, now we paid for a pretty crap hotel (More money for drinks and fun!) so we shared a bed, halfway through the night, I could feel my friend rubbing my back...I turned to him and then he kissed me...I kissed him back and we made out.
It was very much in the heat of the moment, my friend then gave me a blowjob and I gave one back. We fucked all night and then the very next day we did not mention it and we carried on with our holiday. Now that we've been back for a few weeks, I don't know how to feel.
I liked it, it felt so good, but I'm scared! I don't know where to go, it's on my mind all the time, I tried talking to him about it, but he ignores me. I've talked to my girl friends and they say that it was very much in the moment and I agree with them, but I want to know what you guys think. I'm very curious about whether I'm gay or not, but it was just one time, I've watched gay porn and all that, but I just want to know what you guys think about this.
TL;DR: | I had sex with my best friend while on holiday with him and now I don't know how to feel, it's been affecting me for the past few weeks and he is too nervous to talk about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Would you skip a day of classes to have 2 extra days added onto your break?
POST: I wanted to get some other outside input on this situation.
I'm debating right now telling people who want me to go on a trip with them yes or no....because it would require me skipping a day of classes.
My fall break starts on 10/10 @ 4PM officially. However, on 10/9 both my classes for that day got cancelled. So I could leave Wednesday 10/8 after my 2PM class, for 2 extra days on fall break.
For my 10/10 classes...
8AM Comp Sci Lab I can turn in my lab from the week before, before hand "thats when it is due" and then do the lab for that day outside of class. I have a few years of programming experience and have taken AP Comp Sci in high school so I don't think it will be that rough. The rest of the lab is just freshmen seminar stuff.
10AM World History we watch movies on Friday with short 20 minute lectures. I could skip this all the time, but I still go to keep good impressions and keep the bonus points for attendance...this class is really easy if you haven't noticed.
2PM Pre-Calculus is the big thing I'll miss this day. I am thinking I'll just look up on the Khan Academy or such whatever we do and schedule for a tutor session if I need it to make up what I missed.
That's it. The good side of me tells me to go and not miss content, but the fun side says its only one day. I don't *ever* just skip classes because I paid for it...and I don't think I'll miss any unless some unforeseen circumstance comes up. Weighing the pros and cons in my head though makes sense to me.
I need to RSVP now though in advance...what would you do?
TL;DR: | I'm over thinking about skipping one day of class for 2 extra days of fall break and to go on a trip with someone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (f19) am having a stupid jealousy fit over one of (m19) friends and I need to be reasoned back to reality.
POST: So we've been together over two years now, both go to the same university. There is no history of infidelity on either side.
He has this friend from one of his classes that he walks from one class to another with and I see them walking together quite a bit due to such a small campus. She has a boyfriend that lives close as well. Here's my issue, I have this really bad feeling about her for some reason. My boyfriend has lots of female friends and I am fully accepting of all of them, they all seem very nice and I get along well with them all. This girl on the other hand seems extremely awkward whenever I am around and makes zero effort to introduce herself or talk to me at all. I've told my boyfriend how I feel and he reassures me that she is just a friend and that she's just kind of awkward around other people.
I would like to talk to her just to get to know her a bit but whenever I approach them she scurries off. I've talked to a few mutual friends and they all say she's nothing to worry about and she's just kind of odd.
I'm not usually so jealous and illogical but I can't seem to shake this. I know it sounds immature, I just don't know how to reason with myself.
Help :(
TL;DR: | I am suspicious of one of my boyfriends friends even though I have no real reason to doubt their relationship as anything more than friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Last night, my girlfriend [F/16] broke up with me [M/17] due to "needing a break and time to think." What does she mean?
POST: We've been going out for a few weeks, not very long but it bummed me out and I wonder what could be going on by saying She "isn't ready for this." and that "I need a break. I need time to myself, and to think. I just need to be alone." She then said it had nothing to do with me and I didn't do anything wrong, that it's all her.
Most of my friends said its bullshit, just sugar coated to not hurt my feelings. I treated her very well, tried my best to be attractive around her, and tried to be interesting and fun. I know her home life is tough and she hates her parents and she had an abusive ex boyfriend whom she referred to as "fuckface." I have no idea what he did, but I heard from multiple people he treated her like shit and I was the opposite of that.
Could she have genuinely meant what she said to me and isn't actually about me? I like her a lot and I know she definitely does too. We weren't together long enough for things to get in the way and she showed a lot of affection towards me. I didn't say anything to her today except when she brought me back my jacket this morning. Should I still have some friendly contact with her and leave space for her the majority of the time?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up with me last night because she needs "space and time for herself to think." Is she telling the truth and what can I do for things to work out again in the future when she's ready? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what should I do to make you look my way?
POST: I have posted-deleted and reposted this one 2-3 times now, but no luck...
It's my boyfriend's birthday in a few weeks and I want to give him the best birthday present because he got into the Fine Arts school recently, although he is 30 years old. Until now he had to work to support his family and never got the chance to study, so now that he can, he took the exam and got in! :) I feel very proud of him and I want to give him a present for all three, his achievement, his birthday and our 4 year anniversary.
Cutting to the chase: He has mentioned to me 2 or 3 times that he used to have an audio cassette of "Lemon Popsicle" when he was little, which he listened to for hours on end every day, but at some point his mom threw it away because she thought it was an old piece of junk and he was really sad and has been missing it ever since.
I have been searching for it but it's unavailable, apparently:
[A link from amazon.co.uk for example](
(Greece here)
So, dear redditors, any ideas?? Ask me anything that might help! Or in general!
Thank you so much in advance, even if nothing comes up! :) I'll keep you updated!
TL;DR: | Is a cassette format of "Lemon Popsicle" really impossible to find? Or can I find it and give it to my boyfriend as a special present? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (20 M) Will She Come Back? (21 F) 1.5 year relationship and got a new guy 1 week later
POST: I will keep this short, my ex broke up with me and not even a week later she got with someone else. She says she loves him and they went 0-60 really fast and are having sex.
They have been talking for 2 months. They like each others pictures and all on Facebook, but she does not like his posts of when he talks about moving to Texas for 2 years (10-12 hours away).
He is moving at the end of July.
I believe that this is a rebound relationship, but do you think she will come back to me? We dated for 1.5 years.
TL;DR: | Ex has been with a rebound for 2 months but he is leaving in 1 month. We had a 1.5 year relationship and got with him less than a week of breakup. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: skipped the honeymoon phase? [32/f][31/m]
POST: Hi,
I am in a fairly new (about 2 months), monogamous relationship with a wonderful guy. We were good friends for over a year before we started dating.
He is everything I could ever want in a partner -- stable, affectionate, honest, loyal and funny. This is truly the first 'adult' relationship I've had, where I feel I can absolutely trust this man, and vice versa. Our sex life has been getting a lot better, although it started off as not the greatest due to his confidence issues (he's a bigger guy). We've been very open with each other, and talked about his confidence issues and weight issues, which has helped a great deal. He has also had some performance issues in bed, but these seem to be getting better as he gets more comfortable with me. He is also working out with me, which is a big help.
My only question is ... as much as I adore being with him, and can't imagine not dating him, I have had absolutely no honeymoon phase with this guy. It's like we've already been together for years. We're absolutely comfortable with each other. I have no fluttery nerves, butterflies, or over the moon feelings. I'm not infatuated with him, or have the feeling I need to have sex with him 3 times a day. Don't get me wrong -- I really, really like him, enjoy his company, our sex life is getting way better and is promising to turn in to something special, and I can't imagine not dating him. I can see a future with this man. But I've never NOT had the honeymoon phase in a relationship and it has me a little concerned.
Should I be worried that this is a future red flag? Or this something that others have experienced in situations that have turned in to healthy, long term relationships?
TL;DR: | Recently started dating a FANTASTIC man that I have been friends with for over a year. I could definitely see a future with him. However, there has been no honeymoon phase ... is this something I should be concerned about? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [25/m] Falling for a girl [26/f] that doesn't feel the same way...
POST: I xposted this to r/offmychest, added a few things
So I meet an awesome girl a couple months ago, we hit it off really quick and I really dig her. We chatted for hours the night I met her and then we hooked up. The sex was great. I talk to her friend later and she tells me that she really likes me. Then she leaves town for a couple weeks to be with her child/family. She says she is separated with the child's father. We stay in touch a little bit through texts, but nothing substantial. Cut to this weekend where she stumbles back into my life. We go out, have fun, but as we're starting to hook up, she gets emotional and upset and we stop. I guess she felt guilty. I console her and tell her that sex didnt matter and I wont do anything that she doesnt want to do.
Today, we went out for lunch and had great conversation, things are going great both ways. Then out of the blue, she says she feels bad about being away from her child, and wants me to drop her off so her husband can pick her up. She tells me that even though she doesn't love him anymore, she basically wants to stay together with him for the child. She apologizes as well for being erratic and emotional the night before and thanks me for consoling her. I drop her off, we share a hug and thats that. I text her a couple hours later, but she hasn't responded (she's pretty bad at that, I try not to text her a lot). I just got out of a year long relationship like 4 months ago and I'm not even looking for a relationship. I feel as if I should be happy that I got a couple nights of fun and not worry about it, but I find myself thinking about her all the time. Fuck.
What should I do? Every time we're together we both feel a spark, but sometimes she just switches off. I can't help but thinking this will happen again; we get close, then she pushes me back.
TL;DR: | Falling for a girl that I hooked up with a few times. One minute she digs me, the next she doesn't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Can someone help me decide if I should pay off my remaining student loans or if I should buy a new car?
POST: I currently work in healthcare making $30k a year. I plan on going back to school to be an RN and I figured I would need a car to make it to all of my clinicals.
My problem. Neither of my parents went to college so I feel on my own here making this decision. Should I pay off my remaining $21k in student loans or buy a new car and take out loans for nursing school?
I want to pay off my remaining $21k in student loans. I use the Income Based Repayment plan and it will take a long time to pay of my student loans. I feel that being debt free is important. I know that I will never be debt free but I would rather get my loans out of the way since I may never have this much money for the next 4 years. It is just too easy to ignore.
I will be able to pay off my loans in December of this year because my tax return will get me to the $21k mark but saving a few paychecks will give me some money to keep in savings.
But my dad thinks that I would be better off buying a car and pulling more private loans for nursing school. He is not guilting me into anything, he just believes that no one can escape debt and that someone my age should be ready to spend money to make money. I am 26.
I can edit in more information if I need to but I feel I want an outside opinion:
TL;DR: | Should I pay off my student loans and be debt free or keep paying $110 a month, buy a new car and take out more private loans? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [19M] and I[17F] have been dating for 1 1/2 years. He refuses to introduce me to friends/family.
POST: My boyfriend and I are quite young (19 and 17 respectively) and we have been dating for around a year and a half. He knows everyone I know, and that includes my whole family + extended family, but his parents and friends have no idea that he has a girlfriend. He is always badgering me to introduce him to more people, but I feel like it's a little early, especially when I'm barely out of high school.
The thing that bugs me is that he won't tell his family and friends that I exist, while everyone I know knows about him. Should I ask him to mention me to his parents? I don't want him to think I'm being a creepy girlfriend.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend refuses to let his family/friends know that he has a girlfriend. He knows my all of my family and friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (21/f) have been with my boyfriend (20/m) for 2 years and losing feelings for him.
POST: It started when I was having trouble with my family and he decided to have me move in with him and his family. 2 months passed and I found out I was pregnant. We set up and abortion date and everything. We had a week before the abortion. through out the week he was very distant from me and always gamed. when I told him I wanted to keep the child he told me it would be my responsibility and he wants nothing to do with us. I had to have someone drive to the clinic or else I wouldn't be able to get anesthetics. I asked him if he could ask one of his friends to drives us and his response was "well, do it without anesthetics then." That entire week I spent feeling alone, scared, betrayed, and unloved. I had the abortion and everything went back to normal. Around August of this year we moved to another state together. He started being really rude to me. He would yell at me for no reason. He's always been the one who yells and says things that hurt our relationship. I really wanted our relationship to work, but after the abortion situation it started falling apart. For most of it I felt like I was putting an effort while he took me for granted. For a month he would say things that trigger my eating disorder issues. These past weeks I haven't really been sexually and emotionally interested. I know I love him, but at the same time I don't know if I could live with the way he is. Is there anything that could save our relationship?
TL;DR: | stood by jerk boyfriend for a long time, but now it's getting to me. I love him, but don't think I can live with him for a life time. is there any way I could Possibly save this relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: [NSV] I did it. I ran.
POST: Running... oh god running. My most dreaded enemy. I would do anything to get out of a run.
My roommate (and best friend) said that we had to go running. I had no say. Get dressed into workout clothes. Here's a water. Let's go.
I was breathing fire (thanks to my lovely asthma, despite puffs of my inhaler). My knees were screaming in agony. My shins felt like they were going to splinter and fall apart (shin splits from poor running posture and flat feet, helped by special shoes).
But... I did it. I actually ran. A half hour of running. Not straight, we did walking intervals. But it was a fast walk.
It's been an hour since, and I'm still shaking from that whole lack of oxygen thing. But despite the shaking. Despite the achy knees and shins... I FEEL FANTASTIC. What? I don't.... I don't even know. I'm just so happy. I don't understand why my stupid self never thinks to go for a run instead of eating. Eating makes me feel worse. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
Still pondering that. Just wanted to get this all out there. And tell people. People that don't like running. LOOK AT ME. I'm a mess. I don't ever run. BUT I LOVED IT. Find someone to go with you. Or even go alone. The endorphins... They're like the best kind of high ever. I'm so happy.
TL;DR: | Running is my worst enemy, but is now also my drug. I hate it but I LOVE it. I have problems. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Re-training puppy to tolerate nail trimming after being traumatized by a dog trainer
POST: I have a Toy Fox Terrier mix who is about 4-5 months old. Since day one I have conditioned him not to mind getting his nails trimmed and he's done wonderfully up until recently. The trainer who teaches my dog training class used my puppy as a guinea pig to demonstrate her technique of trimming a dog's claws using a dremel tool. The whole time she was doing this, he was terrified. He hated it. When I said something during the process and I was told that all the puppies act like this when she does it and it's normal. Now he won't let me get close to his claws to trim them. He is still okay with people messing around with his feet, but if I start trying to trim his claws he freaks out and growls and snaps at me. Is there a way I can reverse what's been done?
TL;DR: | Dog trainer traumatized my puppy by trimming his claws with a dremel tool will and now he won't let anybody touch them without becoming aggressive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M21] just was given an inheritance, should I tell my partner? [F20]
POST: Hello reddit,
I just found out that I was given an inheritance to pay off all of my schooling basically and any surplus would be given to my parents. I had already been talking with my partner about the whole situation because there was a lot of drama regarding a remarriage and the new wife wasting a lot of the money that my grandfather specifically wanted to go to his grandchildren, so this is all a big surprise to me. As of right now, I had just told her that I didn't know what was going to happen but I assumed that it was all spent on cigarettes and wine (severe alcoholic and smoker). As you can see, I didn't like this woman at all.
So my question to you all, should I tell my partner about this? Or should I continue acting like I am dirt broke and going to be taking all of my education on loan?
TL;DR: | Just received a lucky and unexpected inheritance that will help pay for my education, I don't know what to tell my partner or if I should tell her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving a very lewd dummy data in a database.
POST: This happened a few hours ago. I was in my lecturer's room, trying to get help on my final year project. I'm in IT, so the project relates to programming. The program had a database where i put a few dummy data to test put my program. For giggles, i type the word 'pussy' for one of the attribute and 'Asa Akira in the other. I left it there until i met my lecturer.
She asked me to run the program to see how it works. I ran it and opened the part where it collect the data from the database that i put my dummy data in. Since it refreshes automatically, the data displays the two words. I had my display on the program set to large and it displayed those two words, crystal clear. My lecturer saw it and said 'pussy' and 'Asa Akira' loudly. I was left red faced and embarrassed as hell. She said to me "is this what you have been thinking all this while? No wonder your program's not working properly. Her colleague at the table next to her heard our conversation and laughed silently. I immediately corrected the fuck up and left the room as soon as the meeting ended. Now i don't know how to react whenever i see her again after this. :|
TL;DR: | Typed nsfw dummy data, left it in the database. Lecturer saw the data, said it out loud and her colleague laughed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 24/F] with my husband [28/M] of less than one year has a fetish that's impossible to recreate in real life, and I'm concerned that we will never be able to have a normal sex life.
POST: I've known my husband for 7 years and we have been together for 4 years. I found out shortly after we started dating that he had a 'giantess' fetish, which causes him to be drawn to porn with women depicted as 50+ feet tall. He's told me that in his fantasies he's being eaten or crushed, or just exploring a giant woman's body. I am a very sexual person, and I was initially intrigued by his strange fetish. I have photoshopped pictures of myself as a giantess, tried to simulate his crush fetish and have tried to talk 'giantess' to him when we have sex. He does not seem to respond to anything I have tried, and doesn't seem to be interested in intercourse whatsoever. When we do try, it seems like he's doing it because he feels he has to, and he has a hard time staying erect unless we do it from behind quickly. I would like to explore different positions and expand our sex life, but he does not share the same desires. I was hoping things would improve as our relationship progressed, but it seems like things have gotten worse. We have communicated about it several times, and he has completely understood my frustrations and concerns. However, he has expressed that he prefers watching giantess porn due to the increased arousal he gets from it compared to sexual intercourse, and the fact that there is no pressure to perform. It's hurtful when he consistently says that he's not in the mood for sex when I ask, yet he's watching porn on a regular basis. I love him, and everything else in our relationship is amazing. However, I am extremely sexually frustrated and I don't know if I can handle a future with someone who has a much lower desire for sexual intercourse than I do. Does anyone else have a giantess fetish, or another fetish that isn't able to be replicated in real life? Any suggestions on what might make him interested in intercourse? I have talked to several friends, but no one has heard of this. I'm not sure how common this is. Any help is appreciated!
TL;DR: | My husband has a fetish that is impossible to recreate in real life, and I'm not sure how to have a sexual relationship with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Nerdy girl who just can't seem to meet people in general...
POST: **Me:** Early 20s, graduating with bachelor's degree in biology this May, moderately cute, nerdy, extremely easy going, and unconventional
**Problem:** I'd like to meet a cute, nerdy, not emotionally damaged boy but I am having trouble going about it. I'm having trouble making new friends in general. I go out to a bar maybe once or twice a month, usually with my gay best friend and ex-boyfriend, both of whom I live with. I've found it's extremely hard to meet new people when it's just one girl sitting with two guys. I do have two female friends but they have moved out of town so girls-night-out is a rare event. Things have gotten worse lately since my roommates have become extremely unsociable and we spend most of our time at home. Tried the internet but dating websites seem to either be an online form of a booty call or men looking for immediate serious relationships. I haven't even had the slightest prospect of meeting a guy in over a year. I'm not exactly looking for a relationship right off the bat but I'd like to meet a nice guy to hang out with. How do I go about meeting a nice guy friend or friends in general?
TL;DR: | I have 4 introvert friends, no love life for over a year, and trouble forming new friendships. Help?!? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sending post to a fake person
POST: Today I've managed to piss off my girlfriend, her mother and the postal service. My girlfriend is meant to be coming to visit me at university this weekend, so I bought her the train tickets online and had them delivered to her house.
No big fuck up there, right?
Wrong. I decided it would be funny to send it to a nickname I have for her, not knowing that this was special delivery and had to be signed for...
Well, nobody was home to sign for it, so now they need to go and pick it up at the post office, except, the person who they're trying to get it for doesn't exist and worse, they've only lived there a few days. So no real mail with their names on it, or proof that they live there.
Just phoned my girlfriend and broke the news. She was not happy. If she does somehow make it here, I'm expecting some very grumpy looks. Also, I'm a poor uni student, so I can't even afford to replace them.
TL;DR: | my girlfriend needs to pick up mail for an imaginary person, if she can't, I've flushed money down the toilet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIP my siblings and made them throw up.
POST: This happened a few years ago.
Me, my older brother and my older sister were walking to school while I was eating a poptart for breakfast. There was this house that was coming up that the trashcan was always disgusting smelling, So I ran a bit ahead of them and opened it up to throw my poptart crust in. The wind was just perfect so they got hit in the face with the trashcan smell..
The reaction was absolutely beautiful. My sister started dry heaving while me and my brother laughed, and then threw up.. Then my brother, seeing her throw up, puked too.. Then my sister seeing him throw up, threw up again.
Fortunately, I don't have a weak stomach, so I didn't throw up.. But I almost peed myself from laughing so hard.
TL;DR: | Opened up a stinky trashcan, the smell made my sister puke, then my brother, then my sister again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I have a very small amount of inheritance coming my way, and i want to begin my investment portfolio.
POST: To keep it short, I'm 26, pursuing my PhD (no room for saving) and currently have 2500 Euro worth of debt.
I will receive 10,000 Euro worth of inheritance in the coming months and since I've never had that much money before, and its too small to buy anything lavish with it I'd like to use it as a starting point for some kind investment savings account or similar. I don't have a clue about investments and normally would research the topic but I don't really have time and I've subscribed to this subreddit since joining and have always enjoyed reading everyones feed back to problems posted.
The reason why I want to use the remaining 7500 Euro for investment is because in the next 12-18 months I will be finished with my PhD and my salary will jump *considerably* (provided I land a job), which means I can begin saving and investing monthly, but this could give me a nice head start.
From what I've read so far, it seems Index funds are my way to go, and I've read that Vanguard is the way to do it, could any of you experts offer advice on the topic?
For general information, I can have a bank account in either Ireland, the UK or Germany (if currency comes into account, I think British pounds might give me an advantage).
TL;DR: | Will have 7500 Euro which I would like to use to begin investing, I will then use this as the basis for a long term investment savings account. Need help on where to start |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [30 F] struggling with my husband [30 M] of 7 years, emotionally disengaged. Should I stay?
POST: I have always made it clear that the most important thing to me in a relationship is spending quality time together. As of now, though, most days pass without us speaking to each other, besides "Want me to drive? Need a drink? What do you want for lunch?" If we ever do talk about anything in passing (maybe once every 3 days), it ends up in an argument every time.
He's been emotionally disengaged for a long time, and I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm fine with that, that I don't want to spend time with him either. I'm not sure I could make myself want to after all this time of begging him to want to be with me. (2 years?)
He gets very upset when I tell him I want to leave, and cries and says I mean everything to him, but honestly I just cant believe that anymore when he cant bring himself to care about anything that's going on with me, or sharing himself with me day-to-day.
We have a toddler, and the decision to leave is one I'm struggling with. The skills I have are out of date, and it would be hard re-entering the workplace, and it would also mean switching her to daycare. I'm scared, and don't know if it's even worth it.
I need help knowing which path is better for my daughter.
TL;DR: | Should I stay, living with him in silence, in this dead relationship, or leave, to an uncertain future as a single parent? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Mortgage modification restarting my mortgage?
POST: So I'll try to make this short. I had a good job with the phone company as a phone tech (company name starts with a V) and in 2011 I bought my first house. little three bedroom ranch. Corner lot. Things were going well. Not very long after, the company closes the department and lays 336 of us in the state off. So I'm collecting unemployment and my wife (fiance at the time) was working as a hair stylist and barely making any money. I was making more on unemployment than she was in comission. Anywho, neither was enough to pay the mortgage and I couldn't find work in my area that paid me more than unemployment (550 a week). So months go by and I cash out my 401 to keep the house and so on. A few random jobs in between and now I have a decent job with lots of overtime and my wife is making a Lil more money doing hair. I still can't catch up on those payments I've missed. It was about 6 grand they wanted to make the account current.
So I called my mortgage company like two weeks ago and they set up a modified payment plan for me. I don't quite understand all the exact details but they said I will have 3 payments the next three months that are about 100 bucks less that my original payments. Once I've paid these, my 30 year mortgage a will start over and they will calculate a new payment for me based on 3.75 interest rate (originally4.75). And that 6 grand will just be put on the back end of my mortgage. My question is if this is real bad for me. It sounds crazy to me that my mortgage will start over from day one and the payments that I did make in the beginning there were pretty much for nothing?
TL;DR: | missed mortgage payments, mortgage company makes modified payment plan and restarts my 30 year mortgage to make up for missed payments. How bad is that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What was your most awkward/weird/fucked up childhood playtime activity you ever had?
POST: When I was a kid, I had a younger sister but we did NOT get along so when it came to playtime, I was basically left up to my own devices. In about 4th grade, I still had a "My Size Barbie" that I had received a few years prior. At that time, I had begun reading about the Holocaust and was horrified/fascinated with it.
Well, one day, I decided to have imaginary playtime where I pretended I was in a concentration camp. I was a mother and the "My Size Barbie" was my daughter whom I had to protect from the evil Nazis. But alas! It was daytime and the summer! I needed something cold, damp, and dark so that it could be more realistic. So I figured the shower would be a perfect place. It could act as a leaky barrack. So I took the naked Barbie and myself into the shower and played "Holocaust" for two hours...with the shower running. When I finally got out, I had a towel around me and the naked Barbie under my arm. I opened the door and there stood my father. He looked at me and then the Barbie...naked...in case I haven't said it enough already...and said "Don't you EVER do that again." I wasn't sure if he meant showering for two hours or having what probably looked like weird lesbian experimentation. I figured if I explained to him what was actually going on it would still look strange as fuck.
Can anyone top this?
TL;DR: | In 4th grade, I played Holocaust for two hours with a My Size Barbie in the running shower and my dad caught me. Pretty sure he thought I was into lesbian experimentation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have very minor chest pains, should I be concerned?
POST: Hi reddit, I'm a 26 year old male and for the past 3 or 4 years I have been experiencing infrequent minor chest pains. Its hard to describe the exact sensation, but I think its possible that it could be a lungs thing instead of a heart thing (because of what makes it go away, read below). Although, it is in the center of my chest.
It happens less than once a day. Usually one or two days a week, I will feel it several times over the course of maybe an hour. It's very minor and always goes away. I think it usually happens in the morning or at night when I'm tired.
I've noticed that if I do certain things, I can get it to go away quickly (even though it doesn't last that long). If I adjust my breathing, move my arm over my head, adjust my posture, etc. etc. it will go away, but sometimes come back.
I should note that I'm VERY physically active. I exercise multiple times a day (it never occurs then and i'm doing intense workouts), do not have a weight problem, and am more fit than most of my peers. I am not and never have been a smoker or drug user. I socially drink too much alcohol. :) I'm good at overeating! I have no health problems (except maybe this?).
Am I being a hypochondriac? Does anybody else have this problem? Any medical professionals ever hear of this or know what I'm experiencing? Its so infrequent and minor that I have never been concerned enough to get checked, but I wonder sometimes.
Thanks!
TL;DR: | The chest pains are infrequent, minor and go away when I change my breathing, etc. Anybody know what this is or experience it too? I'm a healthy young adult. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my partner [27 M] - I'm going through therapy for depression, and need his help.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. I have been going to counseling for about that same amount of time for depression and anxiety, which I've had most of my life.
Our relationship is great, however my struggles with self-esteem occasionally cause us problems with jealousy ans worrying on my part. I've been working on these things by myself, but I'm realizing it's been a failure on my part to not include him in this process.
My hope is that we can start to work on these things together - he wants to. But I'm not sure how we can work on self-esteem together. I'm trying to talk to him when things come up, but I have really hurt his feelings several times because of how I have acted and re-acted to situations. Any ideas from people who have been there before?
TL;DR: | MI have low self-esteem, and it's a blight in my otherwise good relationship. How can my bf and I work on this together? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Girlfriend has stopped contacting me after our "break" this week. The last time we spoke she told me that we will have a "talk" Tomorrow
POST: So me and my girlfriend decided to take a weeks break after arguing for most of the time we spent together, so that we could realise how lucky we are to have each other. The break worked well for me and I realised that I do take her for granted sometimes. I realised how lucky I am to have her. However it seems like it worked differently for her. She spent the week going out with her friends. I found this out through her Facebook pictures. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But it seems like she realised I am not good for her or something, who knows. But anyway we started talking earlier today and she told me that she did not want me to pick her up from university. And that we would have this "talk". It sounds a lot like she wants to break up with me of course. I just need some help with this because being that this is my first relationship I am very inexperienced. How should I handle this situation? I really don't want her to break up with me. But I also want to help myself in the long run. I don't want to be miserable all the time if she does break up with me. But I know that will happen with the state of mind that I have. Please help me out :'( We are both 19 years old and have been together for just below 8 months.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is almost definitely going to break up with me tomorrow during a "talk". How shall I handle this situation as I still love her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19/M] having some problems with my SO [F/18]
POST: Okay, firstly I hope this is the right place to post this. I know it's first world problem bullshit but because of abusive relationships, and problems when growing up, I subsequently suck at relationships.
I and my girlfriend (whom I've been with for a year,) go to the same college, we also attend some of the same classes and therefor know the same people. During one of my classes I'm with one of her close friends who she seams to think flirts with me. We argue about this allot, and I think it's ridiculous but whatever, I literally never talk to this girl if we weren't in the same class we wouldn't even acknowledge each-others existence.
My girlfriend texts me constantly in my lessons and if I don't reply it's because i'm 'flirting with her.' She also got like this when I accidentally sent, 'I lava you,' which is an inside pun to another girl by accident- yes is was really an accident I have no reason to lie.
She also just goes crazy when I don't answer my texts straight away, like when i'm with my friends. I've explained it's rude to start texting mid-face-to-face interaction, but she just argues. I guess that is partly my fault to though as I don't say I can't reply but I think she'd be able to make that assumption; or maybe that's just be being a dick.
I think these problems stem from issues with her ex; who left her for another girl, he also used to ignore her text messages.
TL;DR: | I think my girlfriend has trust issues, how do I solve these problems without being a shit-bag or hurting her feelings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: IT guy [31M] at new job seems to have it out for me [25F]
POST: I started a new job at the end of July and I'm still settling in. I am in charge of the finance operations but it is a family run business so a lot of people do many things. The business is doing very well and many employees have been here for years (5-20). They all seem to be in a rut and have not taken extremely kindly with me being hired here.
Of the employees, the one that seems to have the biggest problem with my start is the guy in charge of IT, Mark. He has an odd personality so we don't jive so great to start with. What I've learned since being here is that most people fear him since he knows the software, controls the server and basically has the president in his pocket. This isn't because the president particularly favors him, but because I think he's scared of what Mark can do to the company were they to upset him.
I think Mark sees me as a threat for a couple reasons... I'm young for my position, female, have some tech knowledge, and seem to be the President's new go-to regarding almost everything. I think most of the employees feel this way, as I am the youngest one that works here and most everyone is 5- 35 years my senior.
Because of this, I realize I'm already paranoid because of the animosity there, but I started getting kicked off the server, locked out of my computer, can't change my login password anymore, and other various tech issues. Mark gets passive aggressive in emails, doesn't acknowledge my presence, and refuses to tell me how he fixed items in our software. He isn't generally a very warm person but all these things seem to be pointing to his dislike of me.
So my two questions are: does anyone have some good tech resources I can look into for learning more about protecting my computer and my access? Maybe learn more about servers and admin privileges on secondary accounts? And secondly, which is why I'm in R/relationships, how do I deal with this coworker?
TL;DR: | IT guy at new work seems to have it out for me. Any tech resources to protect myself? How do I handle this guy's animosity? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Update: So Now What?
POST: So I posted a week(maybe)ago about that girl. You all gave some fantastic advice! I took it and we got together again this last night.
Literally, I just got back from her house. We watched a rather shitty movie together; Sideways was the title; and then watched television.
We talked until now, being 5:37am our time, and just basically hung out. We got into a tickling war, which was funny because when she gave me a massage she found out my rib cage is extremely vulnerable to tickling. She started tickling me with her feet, so I started getting her back. I moved to the floor with my back resting against her couch, while she laid there with her head right next to mine.
It was a great night. We talked about different sexual experiences and work and all the typical conversation shit.
It was getting late, and I did lean in for the gold-sealing kiss, but I think that her being really tired, she didn't catch the hint. I played every ounce of kino I could. She responded well to my touches and teasing. It went great. When I told her I was heading out, she stepped out onto her porch and talked with me a little more. I got a fairly nice hug out of the deal, but that's it.
Am I in the friend zone now and too hard to get out, or is there potential still here? We're meeting up again tonight, for the state fair, and she will probably come over to my place to watch another movie. It's getting closer and closer to deadline and I just need to know how to make the advance a bit more obvious. What I do know is that she doesn't like the guy going 100% on the kiss; she expects to do some of it. So how do I proceed, guys and gals?
TL;DR: | Hung out with crush; had a blast, tickle war, deal-sealing kiss unspoken for, got a hug, still fairly happy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my Friend[22 F] of 2 months, we went for drinks last night, I think she thought I wanted to kiss her, but I didn't.
POST: Hello!
Not a very serious matter but I really like this girl as a friend!
We went for drinks yesterday and she is French, French people give each other kisses when they meet. I at least thought so, so when I met her I said "don't French people give each other one kiss?"
She replied no, with two usually but I never do that.
I somehow like to give just one kiss I don't know why, I just like it.
So we had our drinks, she went home by cab and I said "just one kiss" and kissed her on the cheek.
Her reaction was somewhat weird as she tried to get the fuck out of there as fast as possible.
Now I don't know if she thinks I tried to kiss her because I wasn't.
What do I do? say nothing? mention it the next time I see her?
Oh she has a boyfriend as well, I would never try it!
TL;DR: | Went out with female friend, I think she thinks I tried to kiss her but I didn't. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Do some girls not like texting people back or is she not interested?
POST: I've been talking to a girl for the past 4 weeks (both 19, in college). For the first 2 1/2 weeks, we used to text all of the time. I stopped texting her all of the time because I thought I'd be put across as annoying. It was "no biggie" to me. Last week, I shot her a text, which was the first one in maybe 4 or so days. She never messaged me back, but 2 days later she started facebook chatting me. The same thing happened last sunday and last night.
She told me that sometimes she just gets busy and doesn't respond, and she does it to her friends too. We chat for 3-4 hours on facebook, which she messages me first, but I don't get a reply through text anymore. Last night we went from chat to texting, but that was from 12-3 a.m. and I shot her one about an hour ago about her going to florida tomorrow which I just found out about.
The only reason I bring it up was because she posted a status from her phone but didn't text me back which kind of ticked me off.
Before you all say ask her out or talk to her, she lives 4 hours away and I barely know her. We both go back to college in August.
TL;DR: | Girl doesn't respond to my texts but will then will message me first on facebook and will talk with me for hours. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I think I have an idea to end traffic jams.
POST: Approximate speed signs.
We all know that there are many sheeple around that want to do everything they're told exactly right, either because of ethical reasons (not creating the risk of added danger for his own life and that of others) or because that of getting a huge bill. I'm sure there are many other reasons for us humans to obey the speed limit religiously (while living on the edge every now and a again by going 60 in a 55).
In any case: The sign should make clear that from that point on drivers are expected to aim for the speed limit, but they are given a little freedom, say +/- (5 km/h - 3 mp/h). İ think this would create less temper and a more relaxed atmosphere between the drivers. So what I'm saying is, get an equal limit on how slow you can go as well. (obviously overruled by bad weather or fog)
This sign would not apply for roads where there is a high risk that cars and trucks would be likely to have trouble keeping up with the flow of traffic Which means that this speed sign would only be placed at highways where the roads are smooth and straight and where there would mostly likely be traffic jams because of heavy traffic.
A speed sign that would explains this approx. speed limit would be placed in places where they should apply, thus removing those already there. Places where these speed signs would not be logical for some reason should still have the max. speed sign as we know it now with a minimum limit that allows for slower speed. (say 30 in a 50).
The sign could for example look like [this] but with a green circle.
Advertise the shit out of it. Tell everyone they can now relax a bit on the freeway (Take a funny reference from a cool retro film where they drive smoothly on the highway and add a clever pun or something.)
**The advertisement should make clear that drivers should AIM for the speed limit, but it's okay of you miss a little sometimes.**
As an added bonus: people feel less "watched", which will lead to less stress.
Please tell me that this could work.
**T
TL;DR: | A speed sign that allows a margin of error on both maximum and minimum speed that would be places on highways and streets that are long and have trouble with traffic jams. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24/F] ex-girlfriend of 3 years is stalking me [27/M]. Don't know how to deal with this.
POST: Hi, /r/relationships .
Long story short, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't stand the suffocation anymore. In the first few days she cried because she didn't wanted to be lonely, but then she went lonely.
All of a sudden, she just starts adding all of my female friends on FB, even the ones who I'm not friends with anymore, but who have "liked" my photos. Blocking her won't do any good, since I believe she has some sort of list of my friends, so she'll just keep on adding them.
This is still very recent, and I haven't seen my friends in a while due to college and work, so I haven't had the chance to tell them yet. When I was going to, in the place where we usually meet, she just showed up there. As it seems, she's been showing up there because they don't know what's going on.
It wouldn't seem strange if it wasn't for the fact that she never got together with my friends on her own until now. She's had this behavior with her ex's group of friends as well when they broke up, but I didn't really pay attention to it at the time.
---
I don't really know how to deal with this, since I don't want to hurt my friends and tell them she's only getting together with them to get to me, but at the same time I'm not going to allow her to disturb me while I'm trying to enjoy quality time with them.
What would you do?
P.S.: I'm posting this with a throwaway account since I wouldn't be surprised if she was stalking me on Reddit as well.
TL;DR: | ex-gf is stalking me, adding my female friends on fb, getting together with my friends; what can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Eight or nine months ago, I got blackout drunk
POST: I was in a really bad place at the time, wasn't going out much, my friends had to push me out the door to get me to go with them up the canyon for drinks and a campfire. The night consisted of me whining about how lonely I was and how horrible my life was at the time. I wouldn't have wanted to hang out with old me either.
Long story short, I got black out drunk, and the next morning I woke up in my bed at home. Throughout the day I tried to piece together what exactly happened, and no one would talk to me. Turns out I ended up wandering into another campground, and muttering racist slurs (which I would absolutely never do) at the Hispanic family having a barbecue. Later on in the night I fell on the ground and smashed my phone, but the worst part is that I ended up groping the girl my friend was seeing with an obvious lack of consent.
Even now when I think about that night I feel like a complete piece of garbage, especially because that's something I would never ever even consider doing in my right mind. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I ruined a relationship that could have gone really well, and I assaulted my friend. Both parties have since forgiven me, but I can't get over the fact that I'd do something like that. I vowed never to drink like that again, but last night I did, which brought back a whole slew of guilt. Luckily I didn't do anything stupid, just threw up and fell asleep, but I still feel terrible. I don't plan on drinking like that ever again, but I can't help but worry I might do something as disgusting as that again. I don't know what to do, reddit, any ideas?
TL;DR: | I got wasted and groped my best friends S/O, and even though they've both (reluctantly) forgiven me, nine months later I feel like a piece of garbage. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my friend [26 M] of 6 months, are the relationship over?
POST: He is my schoolmate and we were in the same class last semester, we find that we share a lot things in common. He is a nice guy. I'm not a talkative type but I do love talking with him and he feel the same way. We didn't text each other a lot-maybe only three or four times-during this winter break.
when he came back after the break, however, he asked me out and confessed to me. The thing is, I'm kinda of rusty in relations, I had never think of something like "I like him" in the whole process. He told me later that I was sending him mixed signals in the last six months (showing interest to his life, sitting with him everytime, etc.), but I definitely didn't aware of it!
since I wasn't sure if I like him in that way, I didn't say yes immediately. After a week, I messaged him and told him I like him, but he said he didn't think I feel the same way that day, I should let him know eariler, now he is seeing another girl, but he still wants to see me weekly. Does it mean that he just wants to keep our relations as "friend"? Should I see him again? I know I messed things up, but i still wondering if there is possibilities between us?
TL;DR: | I didn't say yes to a guy I actually have feelings for, when i confessed to him after a week, he has already started seeing someone else. Should I see him again?is there any possibilities between us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22F) am having trouble staying solid in my decision to break up with my bf (also 22) of over 6 years. Please help.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 16, and while we have had a strong relationship, the last year and a half has been messy. We lived together for two years after high school but then broke up for about two weeks because things were not working between us.
We got back together shortly after to really try and work on our issues because we love each other, but a year later we are back to having those same problems and top of all of that, we had started formatting a plan for a big move across the country together (which took me years to get him comfortable with the idea of).
If that doesn't make this more confusing, i recently discovered that i am falling-in-like with a very close friend of his, who says he feels the same. I have loved my boyfriend for so long but so many different things are happening in our lives as young adults that it has made me seriously rethink our future. I feel so shitty about all of this crashing down as we are supposed to be picking up and leaving.
So reddit,
TL;DR: | i'm anxious for change, but at the end of the day i still love the guy. what the fuck do i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not wearing my glasses
POST: Like a typical tifu post, this didn't happen to me today. It was back when I was in 9th grade. I just started my 5th year at a university, so it's been a while since this happened. A little back story, my eyesight is so bad that I failed my permit test because of it. I didn't get contacts until after I graduated high school, which is why I always had my glasses with me. Anyways, I lived in this small town that had this public golf course right now to the neighborhood I lived in. Anytime I wanted to golf I would drive my cart there and start on the 3rd hole. A lot of people in that neighborhood did the same since it was easy access. So one day I'm riding to the course with my dad and we start on the 3rd hole as usual. It's a par 3, with a distance of about 170 yards. Like any son, I had to make sure I hit before my dad did. So without putting my glasses on I walk up to the tee box, take a couple practice swings, then I just hit the ball. I had no idea where it was going so I ran back to the cart to put my glasses on, and before I could do that all I heard was my dad screaming. Apparently I had just gotten a hole in one. I'll probably never get to do that again and I didn't even get to see it.
TL;DR: | I tried to golf without glasses. Ended up getting a hole in one, but couldn't see it because I was too eager to hit before my dad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Falling hard for a woman that might be moving away soon. Is it worth it? (25m,26f)
POST: I met a wonderful woman via online dating (I know it has it's stigmas, but I've had nothing but good experiences with it). We have been on a bunch of dates over the course of 2 months (I know it's short, but read on), and share more in common than I thought possible. She's also addicted to Reddit, which we both confessed on the first date. There's never a lull in conversation and I can honestly say I've never been more drawn towards another person like I am with her.
She's got all the qualities I look for in a friend/partner. So, what's the problem?
She is in the process of interviewing for a job in a different city. This would be a great opportunity for her career. We kinda talked about the situation recently, and both agreed it would be best to take things slow until the whole situation is sorted out, but that we're on the same page as far as attraction/connection is concerned.
**My question is, is it worth it?** I would never want to stand in the way of someone's career goals, so I'd never ask her to not take the job, but I really want her to stay. I'm afraid of getting burned, as I have not put myself out there emotionally like this for someone in a REALLY long time. The biggest problem is that I am falling hard, and don't know how to turn it off.
I know the possibility of a long distance relationship is always there, but I've seen the success rates on those first hand. Magic 8 Ball says, "Outlook not so good."
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advise would be helpful. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Falling hard for someone that might be moving away soon, and I don't know how to stop the feelings for them that are growing stronger with each meeting. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (Serious) What's the best way to get over heartbreak?
POST: My bf (29) broke up with me (30) a week ago and I'm having a really hard time coping. It was completely unexpected (he cuddled me in bed the night before and no other behavior was raising red flags).
We met on a dating site and after 8 months, it was serious. Both of us making plans for the future. I'm stalking him on reddit (he introduced me to it), which I know is only causing me more pain. Especially because he keeps posting about his scumbag ex wife who cheated and left him. I know I should have asked how long he had been single before we got serious but the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" isn't helping. You would think someone who made the choice to online date was really ready but I guess not. I'm having a hard time reconciling this because his excuse for ending it was that he wasn't happy and that our relationship was "good but not great". I guess what's making me feel worse is the fact he told me how horrible his ex wife was but decided to end our relationship because it was only "good".
Can you block a user on reddit? I'm a complete noob. I just need some help moving on. I was so happy and the break up stunned me to the core. I thought this one was the one.
TL;DR: | Completely unexpected breakup from a good relationship with someone who still posts on reddit about his last shitty marriage. Still in shock, need help coping. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17m] and my girlfriend [17f] of over 2 years have broken up because of her possible bisexuality.
POST: This is my first post so bare with me. My girlfriend and I have been together since I was 15 and she was 14 and although people will think we're too young and whatnot, we're both reasonably mature and have discussed our future and know what we want from eachother and our lives. We're polar opposites of eachother; she likes to go out with her friends drinking whereas id rather stay at home and watch telly or play video games. Throughout the whole of our relationship I've had joking suspicions of her being bisexual. I've told her many times and she's just laughed it off but yesterday morning she dropped the bombshell, out of the blue that she couldn't be with me any longer. She said it was because of her coming to terms with the fact that she's bisexual. She said she's always known in her head and has only started thinking of it in the past few months which is why our relationship had became off and subsequently worse than before. This is the problem though, she wants to know what she wants from a relationship. She wants to know if it's with a male or female and the only way she'll find out is by experimenting which is why she's ended it to prevent my from getting hurt and not to make our relationship any worse. However, we still both love eachother. We met today to discuss things and it was quite clear that neither of us wanted his to happen. We both still love eachother and we both still want to love eachother but we can't until she knows what she wants so now I don't know what to do. I would wait forever for her if I knew we would get back at the end of it but there's always that chance that she might decide she wants a female to spend her future with and right now, I like having somebody to talk to and spend time with but I'd hate to replace her, especially if she decides she wants the future with me and I've already moved on and found somebody else. What do I do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants to explore bisexuality and still loves me but there's a chance she may want somebody else while I'm waiting for her, what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[21 M] just got dumped by my gf [22F] a couple of days ago trying to get advice.
POST: Idk where else to go on reddit for this advice, hoping you all can lead me in the right direction. My girlfriend just dumped me a couple of days ago, she said that she no longer felt head over heels in love with me as she did for the first half or so of our relationship and that she felt that it is becoming a one sided relationship, and that "you're just not THE one." And she was crying as she was saying all this too, also saying that I'm sweet and everything and how I'll find someone who is THE one. I tried explaining to her that the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship doesn't last forever, especially as long as ours did but she wouldn't have any of it. This was a bit out of the blue because we were recently hanging out before she left for vacation and everything was fine I thought.
She also revealed that she cheated on me recently, and did so knowing how I feel about cheating, but she did show that she clearly felt horrible about it afterwards when she was breaking up with me.
She said that she still cares for me a lot and wants to be friends, and that she doesn't want any contact for a while. I can't do that, ever since she's ended it I've been miserable, I see her everywhere I go, in everything I do. She's ruined me...what does that say about me that even after she cheated on me I still want to go and be with her. She became my best friend over the span of this past year, I can't tell you how many times I wanted to pick up my phone and text her about something. This is the only rough patch we ever had in our relationship, and I want to fight for us.
Help me /r/relationships
TL;DR: | GF of a year and two months ended it, doesn't want contact for awhile even though she still cares a lot about me and I love her still. I want to fight for us |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (18M) not sure how to proceed after what happened between a girl (18M) and I at a party
POST: So basically it was me, and this girl (we'll call her Sam), and another guy and girl in a bed. Nothing sexual at all happened at the beginning, we were all kinda just chilling and talking after the New Year's Eve party. I was tipsy, Sam was completely sober, and it's irrelevant for the other two people. We ended up getting really tired and just wanting to all fall asleep on the bed so I was on the edge, spooning Sam and then there was a space and the next girl and guy. I had my arm kind of on her waist, and then slowly we started holding hands, and then she started liked rubbing her butt into my "area" and moved my hand to her boob, wanting me to squeeze it. We continue this for about 15 minutes or so and then one of her friends that was not in the room came in and told her it was time to leave. She said okay to her friend and then groaned to me and told me how she wanted to stay but had to go. As she was getting up, I was grabbing her ass and stuff and basically it went well. I need with help on how to like continue this relationship and talk to her, because I don't have her number and I had never really talked to her before this. She's not promiscuous at all, quite the opposite actually so I was kind of surprised when she made the move. Am I thinking too hard? Like was it just a party thing? I would like to continue this relationship if possible but the only way of contact as of right now is direct messages on Twitter, and through mutual friends.
TL;DR: | Didn't really know girl before hand, had some slight sexual actions, want to continue the relationship but not sure how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] Facebook STALKING and Lies
POST: We live together, been dating 8 years, her family moved to the US and she opted to stay with me here in Canada. Everything's been great. With one exception.
I recently discovered the Facebook activity log. Don't get me wrong I expected to see guys names, that wasn't going to bother me. What I actually found was a little disturbing. She had been searching for a specific guy 3-4 times a week as far back as the log goes (nearly a year).
I have no idea who this guy is, never heard of him in my life. He's not on her friend's list and has no friends in common with her.
Next day I ask her, how do you know this guy? She denies knowing him until I show her the Facebook logs. At that point she changes her story and tells me hes an old co-worker of hers. Understandable but because of the first lie I look into it a little more and find out that they never worked together.
I question her on it again. Eventually she breaks down and tells me that hes just some guy that works at her cell phone provider and doesn't even know that she exists.
She thought he was cute. Got his name off his name-tag and has been creeping (stalking?) him ever since. She denies having any sort of relationship with him outside of that.
As far as I can tell, she seems to be telling the truth. I just find it very hard to believe. Short of asking the guy there's nothing I can really do to find out.
Help me Reddit! Am I over reacting? Am I being stupid? What should I do? Don't hold any punches. Let me hear it!
TL;DR: | Caught girlfriend of 8 years Facebook STALKING some random guy. She lied repeatedly about it. Having a hard time trusting her. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Dropping out opinions.
POST: Hey college.
Here's the deal. I've always wanted to go to college... Just not the college I attend. When I was receiving acceptances in high school, my parents would only let me choose between two colleges, across the street from each other (literally) that were a 40 minute commute to my hometown. There was a huge news scandal the week I was choosing colleges, and felt I would be unsafe at one of the two options my parents gave me. Well turns out I made a mistake. Two years in, and I'm at wits end. I love my program, and I've gotten close with the dean of that department, but I am required to double major. My other major is PoliSci, but I'm a year behind due to health concerns. My real issue is that I cannot stand being in my collegetown, even to visit. I would frequently get panic attacks just thinking about going, and that has caused me to spend a lot of time off campus and at home. While the anxiety is gone, now I'm still left with anger. My mood is ruined the moment I find out I have to go back or visit. I've had a multitude of terrible experiences these past 2 years, and I no longer feel welcome in this city or on this campus. I want to continue on with my degree, but transferring isn't an option. My parents keep telling me to go to community college with all my friends back home, but I feel like a failure for contemplating that option.
College I'm at an end. On one hand I love it here, and I want to be successful. Adversely, I feel so emotionally drained when I'm there that it makes me want to pack up everything and escape.
TL;DR: | I have a love hate relationship with my college(town). I'm starting to wonder if its worth being constantly stressed all the time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] feel like I can't break up with my girlfriend [17 F] because she keeps saying she is feeling bad emotionally
POST: Hey /r/Relationships, I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, our relationship has been like the ones of many posts I've read here: amazing at the beginning, not so good after a year or so.
There are a couple of problems I am currently facing regarding this relationship. First of all, I feel like she loves me more than I love her. She always complains about how she comes talk me way more than I do, and she is right. I can't tell if it's my lack of interest, or just my personality. Either way, I think she cares for me a lot more than I do for her. Another problem, similar to the first one stated, is that I feel like I will never be able to handle her clinginess, she always wants my attention and I can never satisfy her in this aspect.
Now, why not break up already? First of all, I don't feel like that's what I want NOW, but have a feeling I will want that soon (should I continue with a relationship I feel like I will want to end soon?). Second, I feel like I will miss her a lot if I do, and don't want to regret anything. Also, I will definitely break her heart if I break up with her. As I said in the title, she always tells me about she is in a bad "emotional phase" (does that make sense?), so I'm not the type of person who wants to mess that up even more. Sometimes I feel like she knows I plan on breaking up with her soon, and uses this against me.
Please help em out. Any tips, suggestions, and opinions are welcome.
TL;DR: | I feel like I will want to end this relationship soon, but can't due to the fact that it will completely destroy her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (29f) left my bf(28m) of 1.75 years. We share an apartment and I feel very vulnerable right now.
POST: My bf and myself have been dating for almost 2 years, living together for a little over 1 year. I moved states, left my friends, family and job to be with him. We had always had a "passionate" relationship, but he has a tendency to be jealous, manipulative, boundary pushing and controlling, along with a load of insecurities which led him to emotionally cheat on me a couple of times (for all I know, he might have never stopped). For the reasons listed above, after almost 2 years, I finally threw in the towel and decided to end things last night.
Right now I'm at work doing a pretty decent job keeping it together. However, my issue stems from the fact that I am completely isolated here. I have no friends, no family, and I have to get out of this situation. We signed a new lease 3 months ago, and all my saved money went into the deposits and buying stuff for the place. He refuses to leave the apartment as well- he has his family here, but he said he "didn't want to hide at his families house again" (i kicked him out when I found out about his emotional affair). I've been contacting people via craigslist to attempt to find a place at the end of the month, but I feel so uncomfortable being around him. It will only exasperate any other anxiety I have because I know he will try to manipulate me into staying with him again, which I do not want.
My question is, reddit, how have you or others been able to escape? I am NC with my entire family and I don't have anyone to stay with because he never let me have friends. I feel vulnerable and trapped all at once.
TL;DR: | broke up with s/o last night, he refuses to leave. I have no support system here, not sure how to escape. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21 M] falling for this [21 F] I intern with, need advice.
POST: So theres this girl that I intern with. She's everything i've been waiting for. She's smart, pretty, intelligent and makes me feel like I am a worthy human.
I found out that she goes to school at the same place that I go, which is why I want to date her. The only problem is I don't know if she's into me.
I sometimes catch her looking at me when I'm not looking, but she doesn't text me on her own, nor does she accept any of my advances. For example, she needed a ride to the train station and I simply offered to drive her, but she politely declined. In addition, we hang out with completely different groups of people.
I feel like girls who were into you would never pass up an offer like that. Plus I don't want it to be awkward if i tell her how I feel and she doesn't feel the same. I'm seeing her tomorrow and I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | I like this girl that I intern with. I don't know if I should tell her how i feel or not, due to possibly being awkward if it doesn't work. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.