It’s through our political allegiances that we express who we are, our perspective on life and also our tribal identity – whether we subscribe to the views of the left, the right, or some other outlook altogether. But what happens when you find yourself unexpectedly sleeping with the enemy?

One problem that’s recently emerged is that this might really upset your mum and dad. The number of parents who oppose marriage across the political divide has doubled in eight years (admittedly, it’s still a small proportion).

However, sometimes whatever the views of the naysayers, the heart simply wants what it wants. Here our readers share their stories of love across the political divide.

Mark, 34, and Jess, 33

Mark and Jess have been together for six months. Mark voted Conservative in the last election while Jess supports Labour.

‘Our main differences appear to be that he is much more of an individualist. I am more socially minded’

How did you meet?

Mark: Tinder, of all places. I was drawn to her dark hair and her leftwing politics she mentioned in her bio – even though I voted Conservative in 2015. I have always had a strong interest in politics, and relish a good debate.

Do you clash over anything?

Mark: Our most fundamental disagreement stemmed from the calls for an additional tax on sugar. The argument focused upon the role of government in people’s lives. I argued for personal responsibility, Jess for the greater good. She works in the public sector, me in the private, so we still haven’t resolved this one.

Jess: Our main differences appear to be that he is much more of an individualist. I am more socially minded.

Any politicians come between you?



Mark: Most of our debates have circled around Corbyn. I simply disagree with most of what he says. I can’t imagine him being more wrong on foreign and defence policy. Jess is a little more guarded in her criticism of Corbyn, although she’s not his biggest fan. Neither of us can stand Trump.

Why does it work?

Jess: I was brought up in a family in which Sunday dinner political debates were commonplace. I’d rather argue against an intelligent righty than sit watching TV with someone who had no ideas or views about the real world. I often find by debating ideas with Mark I am able to bring clarity to my feelings on a political situation.

Steve, 29, and Myles, 31



Steve and Myles have been together for 10 years and are getting married in September. Steve is the women’s officer for the Dartford Labour party and Myles is a Conservative supporter.



Steve and Myles are getting married in September

How did you meet?



Steve: At a debate when we were at university, and on first impression we didn’t like each other. We basically met in the middle of a political argument.

How do your political differences affect your relationship?

Steve: It’s been good for our relationship. We never run out of things to talk about – during the election we would spend hours discussing whether the energy price freeze could work or if you could tax corporations at the point of sale rather than on profits. There aren’t many people who would find that as interesting as me.

It would have been harder to reconcile if she’d been a dog person. Myles

Myles: Despite our differences, I supported her when she was elected as a councillor and campaigned, unsuccessfully, for the local Labour parliamentary candidate. I spent the week biting my tongue as residents of her ward accused me of weakness on immigration and poor economic policy when I canvassed for their vote.

How do you get over clashes?

Steve: It helps that neither of us believe in making things personal, whatever we’re talking about. He knows I don’t think he’s evil for being a Tory – I just think he’s just wrong.

Myles: We both know that the other wants society to be better, and both think their way of doing things is the best.

Anything to add?

Myles: When Steve has told some of her more socialist friends that I’m a conservative I get an “Oh”, a puzzled look, then “What’s wrong with you?”. But I think, to be honest, it would have been harder to reconcile if she’d been a dog person. I love our cat, but I genuinely couldn’t live with a dog in the house.

Dragana, 46, and Jason, 45

Dragana and Jason have been married for 16 years and together since 1995. Dragana gravitates towards the Democratic party and Jason is a “sort of Libertarian”.

‘As part of our marital deal we each agreed to read the other’s respective book’





How did you meet and did you talk politics?

Dragana: We met in a bar and politics came into play within minutes. Jason is an American, and I am from the former Yugoslavia. We talked about the fact Yugoslavia had just signed an American-brokered peace agreement.

Jason: I wouldn’t call it “talking politics” (who does that when meeting a beautiful woman?) but we talked current events; she said I was pretty informed “for an American”.

How do your political differences affect your relationship?

Dragana: The books that most shaped our understanding of America (for better or worse) were, for him, Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and for me, An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser. As part of our marital deal we each agreed to read the other’s respective book. He was OK with American Tragedy in terms of writing, but found the political leaning meek. I, meanwhile, still find Atlas Shrugged complete and utter garbage, both in style and substance. So yes, books were flying across the room.

Do you agree on some things?



Dragana: We both believe freedom comes with responsibility. I also do believe, in principle, that you should get as good as you give.

Jason: I like the idea of free education for all (it’s up to you what you make of it, after all) and low-cost child care.

Why does it work?

Dragana: I wonder if loving a man who has many diverging values from one’s own causes too much friction, but love is the answer. My husband is extremely worthy overall and therefore I am willing to get past the differences. Also, we come together on some areas.

Katarina and Adam

Katarina dated Adam for about six weeks. They now occasionally exchange messages. Katarina supports the Green party, while Adam backs the Conservatives.

How did you meet?

Katarina: Adam and I met in a pub, through a mutual friend – one of the first conversations we had, somehow, was about the government’s austerity programme (which he was fully in favour of). I disliked him immediately. It took about five pints and several hours before I changed my mind and we swapped numbers.

I was confident that his group of rugger-loving MAD BANTZ-having chums would not have warmed to me either. Katarina

How do your political differences affect your relationship?

Katarina: I absolutely loved our political clashes at first . We would go on dates to places that one of us was always unhappy with – he likes fancy bars, I like old man pubs – and have a great time, just arguing. Our loud, finger-pointy debate about Syria got us some funny looks in an expensive Greek restaurant, and one poor taxi driver had to witness my shouty, drunk explanation of why private schools are evil after Adam said he would send his kids to one.

Why didn’t it work out?

Katarina: The problem was that we never settled our disagreements - we would argue and argue and then change the topic as neither of us was going to change our mind. And as we got to the point where we should have been integrating into each others’ lives, I realised that it wasn’t going to work – we had a brilliant time together, but I had no desire to introduce my friends and family to Adam and his chinos and his horrible views about benefits. And I was confident that his group of rugger-loving MAD BANTZ-having chums would not have warmed to me either.

Any regrets?

Katarina: There were so many things I liked about Adam; he was hilarious, incredibly smart and great fun to be around. And if we had disagreed a little less passionately on every single fundamental belief about society, I’m sure we could have been very happy together.



George and Peter



George dated Peter for a couple of months. George is liberal and Peter is Conservative.

How did you meet?

George: We met through a friend’s drinks thing. He was cute and I threw caution to the wind and started chatting to him.



How were you different politically?

A leftwinger and a rightwinger are like oil and water, they just don’t mix George

George: As it turned out he had originally wanted to vote Ukip, but was persuaded to at least only vote Tory. Our mutual friend was the one who told me that. I am much more left wing.

What did you clash about?



George: He disagreed with everything I was ideologically in favour of – the biggest clashes we had were about free speech/ no-platforming, the current junior doctor strikes and general NHS issues. He was supportive of Jeremy Hunt, which led us to argue and eventually part ways.

Any final remarks ...

George: A leftwinger and a rightwinger are like oil and water, they just don’t mix.

Some of the names in this have been changed.

