False 9: Chelsea want Tiemoue Bakayoko's one-match ban to be extended to six games in order to keep the Frenchman out for as long as possible

Chelsea are lobbying to have Tiemoue Bakayoko’s automatic one-match ban extended to six games.

The midfielder was sent off after receiving two bookings in the first half an hour of Chelsea’s 4-1 loss to Watford.

Bakayoko’s performance was so bad that Chelsea will now ask the Football Association to make sure he can’t play the next six games.

4 ‘I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing’

Unofficial club insider Lee Satchell explained: “Last night was the last straw.

“We didn’t pay £40million to sign a bloke whose second touch is always a tackle, and a mistimed one at that.

“I think we might have accidentally signed his twin brother.

Reuters 4 Redefining a heavy second touch

“We’ve got Barcelona in two weeks.

“Imagine Sergio Busquets, Andres Iniesta and Lionel Messi sitting round and watching that performance.

“They must have been in hysterics.

AFP or licensors 4 ‘How do you feel about playing Chelsea, Lionel?’

“The only thing to do is go to the FA and ask them to make sure he can’t play for the next six games.

“Champions League included. We’d rather have Danny Drinkwater. In fact we’d rather have Steve Sidwell right now.

“Hopefully they understand.”

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