I just knew this main challenge sounded suspiciously familiar.

Anyway, after an extra month’s delay Drag Race is finally here and do we ever have things to talk about so let’s get reviewing, shall we?

Runway Challenge- If you think about it from a behind the scenes perspective, that runway challenge is one of the most stressful ways to begin a season because it means having to decide which outfits to sacrifice to make a statement while still keeping the creme de la creme so they can continue to dazzle afterwards. Not only that, but it means we get familiar with two more wigs than we normally would which will matter later in how surprising a look is.

Anyway, let’s talk about some queens:

Before we begin I’m just going to say that Ginger Minj, Jaidynn Diore Fierce, Kennedy Davenport, Mrs. Kasha Davis, and Trixie Mattel are safe from my nonsense this week because 14 queens is a lot to critique and with the lack of RuPersizing the first episode or a split premiere, it’s a bit too challenging to fit in everyone considering I try to get this review done in two days. I will say that I quite like each of them though.

Jasmine Masters– I’m gonna guess that she’s gonna feature abs a lot considering she featured them twice already and surprisingly, neither time was during the naked challenge.

Also, I have say that I’m weirdly amused by how literal Jasmine can be like in her multiple attempts to describe the severe complexity that is a cocoon becoming a butterfly; it just makes me think she’s the Drax the Destroyer of Drag Race. Well, perhaps not that extreme:

Kandy Ho– So this season in order to spice- er, well, sweeten things up a bit with my reviews, I thought I’d take she of the pun-alicious name and run with it by representing her performances each episode with a sweet.

This week’s Kandy is Sour Patch Kids which is misleading because the Sour Patch Kids’ tagline is sour then sweet and we’ve yet to see any evidence of the latter, but more importantly, the kids part because apparently Kandy’s kuntiness towards Tempest is being chalked up to youth even though she’s 28. Not to say that that is old by any means, but it’s old enough to not be allowed the youth card as an excuse for a behavioral faux pas.

Katya– Ok, so maybe she didn’t actually say this one, but it felt right.

Remember how Bianca Del Rio eventually became the primary narrator of Season 6 because of her tell-it-like-it-is, hysterical commentary? Yeah, I most definitely want that role for Katya this season.

Also, if you want more Katya be sure to check out her YouTube channel as she now has a series called [RuGrets] where she tells tales of the behind the scenes of RDR (and is there anything on this planet I love more?) and then she also has [RuFlections] which gives you more of Katya the character.

Max- I’ll be honest, the first question I had when I saw that runway outfit from Max was, “Who would wear that?” And then like 5 minutes later my Tumblr dashboard responded with this image of Kaworu from Evangelion. Which only makes sense, y’know, eccentric gray-haired homosexuals of a feather and whatnot.

Which also leads me to further fancasting with RuPaul as Gendo Ikari demanding, “Chachki get in the robot!” Except she refuses solely on the grounds that the Eva’s waist is too thick, and she therefore won’t let it represent her.

Miss Fame- Among her many accomplishments, Miss Fame is a model, a celebrity makeup artist, and a Level 76 Black Mage.

I have to say that the combined might of the three fashion titans of this season, Chachki, Fame, and Pearl, is overwhelming in just how ridiculously high fashion each of them consistently is so far (listen we have premiere looks to go by along with the four we saw this week). I cannot wait to see the three of them duke it out looks-wise over the course of this season.

Pearl- At this point, despite how early on it is, I’m pretty much willing to overlook anything Pearl does, even if she looked straight into the camera and said, “I fucking hate ReganWrite” because the level of Emma Frost aesthetic that she is giving me is causing me to gag so violently that I’m just turning my guts inside out now. Oh and has anyone seen her [premiere looks]? I absolutely adored each and every one of them (also just click that link because it’s a nice collection of all 14 queens premiere looks from 3 cities). Oh and let’s talk about this one:

It’s giving me delicious late 90’s realness specifically Stigmata realness which is perhaps the most concentrated account of the late 90’s we have on record. (If you haven’t seen this film it’s worth watching for the overwhelming 90’s-ness alone; I mean the protagonist has about 75% inflatable furniture in her apartment).

Also, not that it needs to be stated, but allow me to emphasize:

Pearl is gorgeous trade, henny.

Whereas right now it’s hard to gauge what kind of personality Pearl has and how she’ll fit in the group’s dynamic, one thing is for sure: In drag and out of drag she is dedicated to giving us look.

Sasha Belle- Fantastic news, everyone! Thanks to accidentally crashing into the building where RDR is filmed, Wynona Judd has stumbled back through the Drag Race doors but this time to compete! But be sure to treasure these moments, kittens, for she’ll only be here as long as the Jim Beam lasts!

So real talk: I find it difficult to understand how she misunderstood the challenge when she was in a work room full of queens where half of them had bodysuits they were decorating. It’s one thing if they were doing an acting/writing challenge where it’s unlikely she’d see and pay attention to things as they progress, but this seems like it’d be hard for someone to miss.

Moreover, I have to disagree with the decision to not have her lipsync considering she flat-out did not do the main challenge correctly. I mean isn’t that the point of the lipsync? It’s not to make whichever queen was stank to another queen suffer but to judge the queens who performed the challenge the least adequately? Don’t get me wrong, I thought Kandy was being kunty, but I don’t think bitchiness should weigh into judging.

Also, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy Sasha, definitely check out her videos on her Youtube channel, specifically the one with her impressions of the other Drag Race girls and more specifically her impression of Miss Fame because that one killed me [Here]. Oh, also sound the trade alert sirens because:

Sasha’s got some sexy bod. [Source]

Tempest DuJour- Seriously, Aging: Not even once.

On the one hand, I get that one of the show’s best defenses against viewer fatigue is providing them with fashion-forward queens who can continuously wow the audience with their looks, I mean I think that idea was heavily emphasized with the runway mini-challenge, but on the other, I think we missed out with having Tempest gone so soon especially with her experience as an older queen and as a teacher but also with her experience as an actor she’d likely have proven herself quite quickly.

Violet Chachki– The Day The Earth Gagged Still.

In case you missed the sound effects after every comment she made, bitchy or benign, Chachki is more than likely going to be this season’s bitch, but even if she plays the role up she’s managed to follow the biggest rule this role demands which is: If you’re going to be a cunt, be a flawless cunt. If it means our new favorites having to endure insults and shade in order to get an outfit like this each episode then I say bring on the fucking fist fights girls because I want GLAMOUR.

Also, in case you guys didn’t know Chachki is the thinnest Drag Race contestant EVAR and it’s her duty to remind us of that quite often, but honestly, what’s more unbelievable than her waistline is the fact that at 22 she’s got enough in the bank for all this couture. Inquiring hoes want to know: Who’d she blow?

Anyway, Violet is clearly aiming to gag us all so hard that we all lose a few meals and kudos to her, I think she’s going to make great TV.

Untucked: Here’s the thing: I’d like it if they didn’t have to dress down EVERYTHING.

Because I really do prefer having this less produced version where there’s less leading music, less drama salad that is literally just cuts to uncomfortable faces for like five minutes, and less awkwardly disjointed sentences that sound weird because we missed a full conversation topic. It’s almost as if they’re bringing Untucked back to its original form, [Under the Hood].

But did we have to bring it back to looking just as cheap? Like gurl, that awful lighting in a fucking garage? I get that this is the “dressed down” Untucked, but that really didn’t need to apply to the visual aspects. One of the smarter aspects of the previous version of Untucked, I thought, was that they had it in a tight, monochromatic room so you were visually focused on the queens and not anything behind them. Now it feels like I’m trying to see them across a campfire out in the woods.

Also, did anyone else find it the most brutal thing to follow the eliminated queen around with a camera every step of the way? Like damn why not just bring the camera to the motel and make sure to record her sobbing alone in her bed?

And that’s it for this week’s review, tune in next week so we can kiki about backlash from [Chachki’s blaspheming the good name of Visage] which is sure to be entertaining.

Also, if you’re enjoying my reviews please be sure to like, comment, and/or follow on here or [reblog my Tumblr links] because attention and compliments motivate me.