It’s said that the only things guaranteed in life are death and taxes, but notable quotes from South Carolina’s ol’ ballcoach, Steve Spurrier, belong on the list. Today at the SEC’s annual Media Day, Spurrier spoke candidly about everything from the SEC schedule, to college footall playoffs, to the health of star running Marcus Lattimore. Let’s take a ride on the Spurrier express, as told to Twitter by members of the working media:

Steve Spurrier opens his 20th SEC media days by saying some reporters have been here longer. “They don’t fire media people.” Ummm, coach… — John Zenor (@jzenor) July 17, 2012

“It’s easier to win the National Championship than the SEC.Ask Nick Saban.” – Steve Spurrier — Mitchell Haverty (@mitchellhaverty) July 17, 2012

“My job is not that stressful. Some of these coaches get all stressed out and so forth. I got excellent assistants.” -Steve Spurrier — Saturday Down South (@SDS) July 17, 2012

“You think I make the schedule?If I made the schedule, Georgia would be playing LSU and we’d be playing Ole Miss.”– Steve Spurrier — Dari Nowkhah (@ESPNDari) July 17, 2012

“Auburn and Arkansas have got our number. I’ll admit it.” -Steve Spurrier — Saturday Down South (@SDS) July 17, 2012

Steve Spurrier asked about Penn State. Says it’s a terrible mess. On Paterno: “When he coached college football, he did everything right.” — Rachel George (@OS_RachelGeorge) July 17, 2012

“Marcus Lattimore has rehabbed beautifully & should be ready to go.” -Steve Spurrier #SECMediaDays — ESPN CFB LIVE (@CFBLIVE) July 17, 2012

And then, there’s things that Steve Spurrier didn’t say…

Steve Spurrier is dressed like he’s defending his country club’s admission rules. — The Solid Verbal (@SolidVerbal) July 17, 2012