Eggnog On Cereal

Marge: Homer, didn’t you get any milk? All I see is eggnog.

Homer: ‘Tis the season, Marge! We only get thirty sweet noggy days. Then the government takes it away again.

Lisa: I think I’m having chest pains.

– Marge Be Not Proud

The Simpsons | Season 7 - Episode 11

Eggnog is like a super thick milk, mixed with a bunch of spices I don’t like and then people add rum to it. This officially makes eggnog my least favorite rum drink in existence. And now Eggnog On Cereal is officially my least favorite breakfast in existence. Well, probably my second least favorite breakfast since this is also something I’ve tried.

In a much later Simpsons episode, White Christmas Blues (Season 25 – Episode 8), Marge exclaims “All eggnog is terrible!”. Marge and I are kindred spirits in that regard. Anyway, let’s get to this thing…

Ingredients

Eggnog

Cereal (I used Rice Krispies)

Directions

Fill your entire fridge with eggnog before the government takes it away again. Pour eggnog over your cereal of choice. Drink it with every meal too I guess. Try not to experience chest pains.

Gross. So gross. A less biased participant, let’s call him “El Boyfriendo” quite enjoyed the Eggnog On Cereal and happily ate the remainder that I had prepared. Also, there’s This Guy who seems weirdly in to the whole thing; either he’s just naturally a happy person or he’s super high. Basically if you hate eggnog, this recipe won’t change your mind, but if you like eggnog you might enjoy it!

Fun fact, in French eggnog is called “lait de poule” which literally translates as “chicken milk”. How is that relevant to the recipe? It isn’t, but I thought you might enjoy knowing it all the same.

Cromulence: 2 Lee Carvallo out of 10

Eggnog On Cereal Recipe From: Marge Be Not Proud (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 11)