Text: “These guys these street gangs, settle their scores by singing and dancing together? Doesn’t sound like anybody on the Westside I know.”

Text: “You want nice. Go pick your mommy a flower.”

Text: “Gentlemen, Check your skirts at the door.”

Text: “Today you’re using your girlfriend’s hair gel. Tomorrow, your wife’s hairspray. Where does it end my friend? Where does it end?”

NEW (Mar. ’10)! Emma H. sent in this commercial, which ran during the 2010 Olympics, in which a man — shock and horror! — likes ice dancing:

More ads policing men’s behavior: sissies suck, how to do masculinity (hugging and sitting), “woman” as an insult, and boys can’t wear make-up at school.