Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Photo: Paramount Pictures

When you’re creating a female character for your film, you’ve got a lot of choices. For instance, do you make her a lithe, leggy blonde — or a lithe, leggy brunette? That’s a joke, but it’s also not really a joke, as producer Ross Putman’s new Twitter account @femscriptintros attests. The account tweets out horrible character descriptions of the female leads in movie scripts Putman reads, in which the women are described as sexual props first, and actual interesting characters second. (For privacy’s sake, he changes every name to “Jane.”) Read some of the lowlights below, just as soon as you get done dancing naked on your bed. You know, for fun.

JANE stands next to it (30's) dressed in a paramedic's uniform - blonde, fit, smokin' hot. — Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016

A gorgeous woman, JANE, 23, is a little tipsy, dancing naked on her big bed, as adorable as she is sexy. *BONUS PTS FOR BEING THE 1ST LINE — Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016

All heads turn to find JANE (28) in the doorway: stunning and trying her best to hide it. — Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016

Behind a steamy shower door is the indistinguishable but sexy silhouette of JANE showering. — Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016

This is JANE. She’s lithe, leggy, spirited, outgoing, not afraid to speak her mind, with a sense of humor as dry as the Sonoran Desert. — Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016

His wife JANE is making dinner and watching CNN on a small TV. She was model pretty once, but living an actual life has taken its toll. — Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016

JANE (late 20s) sits hunched over a microscope. She’s attractive, but too much of a professional to care about her appearance. — Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016

She turns and we see her face for the first time. This is the very beautiful, very troubled JANE. — Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016