Whether people like it or not, and whether their religion recognizes my marriage or not, the state of New York and the US government both recognize and protect my marriage. The state will protect us as each other's wife the way it will protect any other husband and wife. Public officials, police officers, city workers and hospital personnel are forced to honor my rights. Regardless of everyone's feelings about homosexuality, I am my wife's next-of-kin. By law I must be recognized as such for hospital visits, wills, and medical and financial decisions.



Of course, it takes some getting used to. Understandably, people are not accustomed to a woman having a wife. My insurance agent still stutters when he says it, and my physician's office still has a hard time using the right terms to refer to the woman I married. Even my barber, who sees me every three weeks, hesitates and still asks, "How's your friend?" whenever I stop by.