First bullet: Red was a color which Mukuro Ikusaba was all too familiar with. Pre-despair or non-despair AU

Chapter Text

~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~

Red was the hue of the sky just before the sun dies when the world tries to catch the last glimmers of daylight.

Red was the dye splotched all over the corpses she had seen and most of them had been painted by her.

Red was the stain her sister's lipstick left on her skin, the closest she will ever get to having wounds.

Red. Red. Red was a color which Mukuro Ikusaba was all too familiar with.

Throughout all her experiences, she had brushed with red more than with any color and not for good reasons. Red was a color just as much as it was a synonym. She knew that red only meant one thing and that was danger. Everything that reminded her of horror, suffering, and even death was red. Sunset was the calm before the storm because it's actually at night when the true battlefield awakens. Blood was a necessity to live however, most if not all of her sightings of it were accompanied by death. And then there was her sister.

So it was only natural for her to practice more caution whenever there was red in her scope.

"Hello, Ikusaba-san!" A cheerful voice called out from behind her.

From the sounds of footsteps, the person was lightweight but were dragging their feet if only by just a bit. The sloppy footwork informed her that the person was picking up speed, probably in an attempt to catch up to her, but was also struggling. And also the sound of… papers. This was what she gathered from her position without even looking back. It was useless speculation though, after all, she already knew the owner of that voice but she was still vigilant out of habit.

"I didn't expect to see you here." The voice was closer now. Beside her now. And if she turned her head slightly like so to the right...

Ah, red.

Makoto Naegi's tie just also happened to be red.

Red. Red. Red. She could practically feel the red coursing through her body going on high alert. Her mind was going into overdrive and her heart was running a race with it. Red was never a good sign nor did her mind take it too well. Her body on the other hand, she had managed to train so as not to give herself away. That's right, she was always prepared to handle all things red. At least, that's what she thought. Although she already knew the MO when faced with such color and had flawlessly executed it each time ever since she thought of it, for the first time, she found herself doing one of the most fatal mistakes a soldier could ever make on a battlefield.

Mukuro hesitated.

His red was…

Surely nothing special, right? She has seen that same tie on all the other boys. It was part of the school uniform which was exactly what Makoto was wearing right now. The difference only between Makoto's and the regular uniform was that his was sandwiched between papers. And even then the only thing that achieved was make him look ridiculous. Knowing him and his luck, it probably wasn't even on purpose just like how his right shoe always manages to slip off.

So maybe that earlier feeling was also just a fluke. Because just as soon as whatever that weird feeling hit her, it was already gone. Maybe she imagined it. Her eyes discreetly wandered over his tie for a few more seconds. Nothing. The red was no longer threatening or… whatever that feeling was. A false alarm? A premonition? But it didn't feel malicious at all. It was certainly different though.

Whatever it was could wait for later. She had to handle the situation at hand first which was dealing with an overly friendly boy. The only classmate aside from her sister who actually starts conversations with her. She briefly reflected on how she ended up here in this hallway with him.

She was just out to buy her sister a drink from the vending machine in another building. Junko's preference for the said drink from that particular machine came across her as odd but she did not question it. Although it was inconvenient, as long as it wasn't unreasonable then she would do her best to perform it. She loved her sister enough to bear with it.

And while on her way there, she admittedly did consider checking on Makoto to see if he got into any trouble again. He was actually a magnet for misfortune which made her reconsider his lucky title as a misnomer. But she had her priorities to check. So she made a mental note to do that after she got the said drink. And she was certain that this time it wasn't intentional. Had her body moved on its own and subconsciously took the route that she knew was most likely where she could intercept him?

"It seems like we keep meeting a lot." He politely smiled at her.

The smile made her pause for a moment but just as quickly she recovered. "We're classmates."

"Ah, no. That's not quite what I meant." He fidgeted in place. The hesitant movement reminded her of a small confused animal caught in a cage for the first time. "I'm not saying you're wrong though! I mean I guess it's true that being classmates makes it easier for us to meet."

"What did you mean then?" She asked.

"It's just out of all our classmates, I always see you a lot out of class and most of the time." He shrugged and she guessed that it was mostly to readjust the weight of the stack of papers rather than meaning the gesture. "Maybe it's just my imagination since I don't actually count our meetings but I feel like I really do see you more often."

Was it that obvious?

There was some truth to that. Ever since he first smiled at her, she admitted that maybe she was paying more attention to him than any other civilian. Granted of course that she was only doing so to look out for him. The boy got into more accidents in a week than anyone would have in a lifetime. So she decided to try and help him provided that she was free because her sister would always take first priority. And for a while, her vigilance had paid off. He got into less accidents than he did when he first started here.

She should have known that he would have noticed sooner or later. She wondered if maybe she should put a hold on her watch even if only for a little while. Just until she could shake off his suspicions. And if he told her that she was bothering him then she would stop completely.

While she was too busy contemplating on her next move, Makoto mistook her silence as his cue to continue the conversation.

"But I don't mean that as a bad thing. Actually, it's been fun." He chuckled nervously or perhaps he was more embarrassed than he was nervous."I get excited when I think that I'll get to see you again. It really gives me something to look forward to after class."

"...!" If only he was looking at her then maybe he would have seen the effect his words had on her.

But he was too focused on his own words and it seemed like there was always more to be said. "And you always help me out of situations even though it's mostly my problem." If his hands weren't full, he would have been anxiously scratching the back of his neck just like all the other times he wore that abashed look on his face right now. "I'm really grateful for all the help and I know I always thank you after each time but I feel like it's not enough."

Her voice was quieter. "You don't find me annoying?"

"Why would say that-" He stopped, followed by a shaky intake of breath most likely to compose himself. It looked like he was carefully thinking on what to say next.

Mukuro wasn't so sure if she wanted to hear them. Would he also call her a disappointment just like her sister always did? No, maybe nothing that extreme coming from him. But what if he said yes? What if he did find her annoying or bothersome?

And why did it feel like his opinion mattered?

In the gentlest voice she has ever heard from him, he spoke softly. "Is that how you feel about yourself?"

"..." She looked away.

"Ikusaba-san." He started. "I don't know much about what you've been through so I don't even know if I have the right to say this but I want you to stop."

She flinched for the tiniest fraction and maybe she did not hide it as well as she would have liked because she saw him flinch as well.

"I'm your friend. Or at least, I'd like to think I am. I mean, I do want to be friends with you. I'd like to believe that we're already friends. No, wait, let me start again from the top." He was obviously trying hard but there was just something in her heart stopping her from believing in him.

"I am your friend. And I also believe that you're a wonderful person." He said full of hope.

That sounded too good to be true. Wonderful? Person? I'm someone's friend? No, that was not how she has been defined all her life. A more accurate sentence would be-

"I'm a…" Threat. Weapon. Murderer. "Soldier."

Red. A red flag that only she could see was waving behind her eyelids. And a war against herself was boiling over her, an imminent rupture threatening to happen, ready to overwhelm her at any moment.

He shook his head. "You've got that wrong!"

She looked back at him, eyes challenging him.

"You're saying that I'm not a soldier?" She unconsciously clenched a fist.

"You're phrasing it all wrong." He didn't back down not even in the slightest but his voice never lost its soothing tone. "Ikusaba-san, you're my friend first and foremost. Everything else comes after. You just so happen to be the Ultimate Soldier."

That was the most preposterous lie she had ever heard. Someone was actually looking at her, really looking at her, like she was not a soldier. She didn't know if she should be offended or not because that was her talent after all. And for most of her life, she was okay with just being a soldier. Civilian life, more specifically, high school life made her realize how much of an outcast that made her. Not even her sister make her forget that she was a soldier and a disappointment on top of it. So when he told her that she was a soldier as an afterthought, she was dumbfounded. She wasn't sure how to feel.

Red. For some strange reason, the color flashes again briefly inside her head. But it's different from the earlier one. There was an element of safety. It was warmer but not boiling. There was a foreign feeling which she thought would be the last thing she'd associate with red. It felt…

It felt nice. Maybe it was the way he sounded so sincere about it. Maybe it was the way his face looked so honest saying those words. Maybe it was the way he smiled each and every time he saw her like no other person ever did.

So maybe he was telling the truth and she believed in him.

"That's why I'm always glad whenever we meet."

She was just so overwhelmed with all the words and feelings that all she could do was nod numbly and mutter. "I'm glad when we meet too."

And his smile could have light up the world right then and there.

"Can you keep a secret?" This time, he was the one looking away. "The truth is lately, I've been doing a lot of errands. And whenever it gets too tough on me, you always seem to have the best sense of timing coming to my rescue."

He paused only to take one deep breath. And then he flashed her a more shy smile.

"When I think that I might get to see Ikusaba-san, it makes me want to work a little harder."

Red. Red. Red. This was definitely a different kind of red than she was used to.

"I'll take your secret to the grave." There was the slightest upturn of her lips when she said that.

"That's a little too extreme but thanks." He chuckled. "And thanks for listening to me too."

It was only then that Mukuro realized that the two of them had been talking in place. They had hardly moved at all and she knew that Makoto had places to be at. Or at the very least, those papers needed to be delivered.

"Do you need help with that?"

He was carrying a precarious stack of papers that he was barely managing to hold in place with his chin on top for a false sense of security. She doubted that it weighed anything to her but judging from her memories of him, the weight may be more than he's used to. Probably more than he can handle. Because of his height, his arms were shorter than average, and with the stack being excessively high, it was a miracle as to how he was holding on to it for so long. Going by his track record, he should have already tripped over nothing and reduced the stack to a mess of scattered papers. She could not understand why anyone would send him of all the students on an errand that should have been meant for two or at least one Ultimate of the physical sort.

Was that what this was about? Her lips slightly twitched downward. She knew of Makoto's talent and of the unflattering opinion that some students (not from their class though) and that also extended to a portion of the teachers. They never did anything extreme though. As long as he was officially enrolled as a student of Hope's Peak Academy then he was basically untouchable so they could not get away with murder. However, the things they could get away with, they made a habit.

She briefly wondered, if worse came to worst, could she be the one to get away with murder?

Conflict resolution was her forte back when she was in Fenrir granted that most of those conflicts were resolved with either a bullet to the heart or a knife to the throat. It was fast, efficient, and most importantly, effective in ending a fight. Ending a war however, was not as easy. And Junko had once told her that some quarrels only look like fights on surface but were actually full-blown wars on the inside. The domestic setting was truly a devastating battlefield and Mukuro found herself unarmed in enemy territory.

Not for the first time in her life, Mukuro Ikusaba was lost.

A streak of red flashed in the corner of her eyes, launching her body and mind into full alert, and all at once she was back in the hallway. Her head tilted just enough for her eyes to catch what it was then relax somewhat. It was only a poster on a bulletin board. Another false alarm.

"Honestly, I think I do but I want to pass on that offer." He smiled sheepishly at her. "I don't want to trouble you since you've already helped me out a bunch of times before."

"If you insist." She would honor his refusal but that didn't stop her from moving in an inch closer, just within range for her to do something in the event that he does get overwhelmed.

"But is it alright if I ask where you're headed?" He habitually tilted his head.

She blinked. "The soft sciences department." She said flatly.

"What a coincidence! I'm going that way too!" And on that note, they started walking together towards their destination.

She felt a little guilty lying to him. She knew where he was headed just from one quick scan at the top sheet. That place was not where she was supposed to go. In fact, that was on the other side of the campus, nowhere near the building with her sister's specific vending machine.

In her defense, she knew how carefree her sister was so she may not want the drink anymore when she returns… just like the five times she did this same errand before. Three of those five times, she asked her to go back and buy another drink. One of those three times, she actually did open the can but just dumped the contents afterward. All five however were rejected. Today may just as well end up as sixth in the tally.

Junko was hard to please. But that never stopped Mukuro from trying. So she figured that if she ran fast enough so that she wouldn't get caught by the hall monitor then she could probably get back sooner to her sister. And maybe she'll actually drink the beverage and she would then be less of a disappointment of an older sister. She mentally sighed and prepared herself to deal with that later. So much for priorities.

Halfway there, Makoto suddenly stopped near the stairs. "Hey, um, Ikusaba-san. On second thought, is it too late to accept that offer of carrying the papers?"

"You're asking me to carry them now?"

"Yes, but only for a little while!" He laughed uncomfortably. "It's just that I feel like my shoe is slipping off again and I really don't want to reorganize these papers again."

"Sure." She expected this. His limit. She was waiting for him to ask her.

He smiled apologetically. "Ah, sorry. I think I've already lost feeling in my arms. Is it alright if you also crouch a bit? I don't think I can lift this any higher, sorry again."

"No problem."

Unlike Makoto, Mukuro handled the challenge of a stack with practiced ease. This was practically featherweight compared to most of the firearms she has handled before. So she was able to carry it singlehandedly but just in case, she placed her other hand on top for a more secure hold. Just before she could stretch back again to her full posture, someone else moved faster than her. Well, it wasn't as though he was that fast, it was just that she was that surprised.

Red. The same red tie, now hung free from the papers, suddenly reminded her of the flag her sergeant raised during one drill turned emergency. Just like then, alarm bells rung inside her head.

Makoto did his best to stand on his tiptoes. His hands were on her shoulders, probably more for balance. That was the least of her worries. Her immediate concern was that his face was so close. But just when she thought it was as near as possible, apparently, it wasn't close enough.

Red. The red coursing through her body was on a one-way track to her head. She could practically feel it pounding inside. Her eyes frantically sought for an escape route unfortunately, the only thing in her field of vision was his face but she was more drawn to his eyes.

His eyes were however, not red. They were in fact, green and muchmorebeautiful up close. They were absolutely breathtaking. At least, she thought that was the reason why she was holding her breath. Before her eyes could adjust with the distance or lack thereof, he apparently did not give her any more time to think. Their noses clumsily bumped with each other for just a moment. It seemed like he was pulling away.

But only to lift his heels higher so he could tiptoe harder until finally, their foreheads touched. And it was not just for a moment.

Red. Red. Red. Her face surely must be red now, she thought.

In an empty hallway, two shadows connected.

"Thank goodness. It doesn't feel like a fever." He said once he pulled back and stood like how he normally would, both heels on the ground, and his hands taking back the stack of papers.

"Wha…" She caught herself before she could continue that thought. Thoughts scrambled inside her head and words choked in her throat. "What did you just do?"

"What? I just checked your temperature." He said it so casually that even the usual quiet Mukuro was at a lost for words.

Unconventionally? "Why?"

"Huh? Well you looked really red for a while and I thought that you looked like the kind of person who would keep a fever a secret."

Wait. She was red all this time? Even before… before he did THAT?

"Well the clinic is out of way since it's in a different building so we couldn't use a thermometer. Maybe I should've used my hands instead but…" He sighed.

"But?" She asked, not really thinking about the words that were coming out of her mouth.

"Promise not to laugh?" He started playing with his hands. "Okay so I got a little conscious of my hands. I mean, I've been holding those papers for a while and I didn't want to use them because I figured they were all sweaty."

Mukuro thought that was absurd. He could have easily solved that problem by wiping them beforehand. Or maybe, was she missing some social code on this? Perhaps this was another domestic approach she was not informed in. After all, she never caught a fever before not even in the harshest terrain. If it was commonplace then she had to ask just to check.

But Makoto spoke first.

"Your freckles looked cute though."

"...Thanks?" Did she hear that right?

And all at once a look of horror showed on his face. "I said that out loud, didn't I? Ack!" His voice squeaked. "Ah, please don't take it in a creepy way!"

So she did hear that right. Looking closer at him, she also noticed something she had been seeing all day.

He on the other hand, started shrinking and backing a few steps. "I mean I just happened to notice them because you know, your face was so close!" Step. "It's not like I planned this out just so I could take a closer look at them." Step. "Ah, no. I just made it sound like I did plan that. Ahhh! Just- no, wait, can I start from the-!"

And of course, he just had to slip on his foot have his right shoe fly off.

Papers flew all over the place and Makoto would have fallen off the stairs if it weren't for Mukuro's excellent reflexes. She managed to pull him close to her. In hindsight, she could have also prevented the paper fiasco if only she wasn't so focused on other matters. But having him avoid injury was a victory in itself.

Makoto was frozen for a few seconds and judging from his face, she could read his thoughts with high accuracy. There was the sigh of relief at not having any broken bones over this. There was groan that signaled his annoyance at having to clean this up. Then there were his hands on his face, fully embarrassed. That was basically the usual three signs of Makoto's luck working against him and she thought that was all she was going to see today.

Until she noticed something else.

He chuckled nervously. "So, um, I know that I may be pushing it but are you in any hurry?"

"Not really." Her lips were smiling before she even noticed it.

Red was the dye of Makoto's tie, proof that they were enrolled in the same school and even better, they were classmates.

Red was the shade of Mukuro's face, not out of anger or rage but out of a new feeling she had yet to put a name on.

Red was the wash of warmth his presence brought, a very welcome change from the usual boiling point.

Red. Red. Red was a color which Mukuro Ikusaba found herself in whenever she was with Makoto.

And she figured that maybe red wasn't so bad. Not when it was dusted lightly over his ears.

OMAKE

If the Shoe Doesn't Fit:

He pulled away and for a second, his heels touched the ground. With steely determination, he tried to stand on his tiptoes once again. However, no matter how poorly planned this was, he could never have possibly expected what was about to happen.

His mistake was trying to pull the stunt on the second try. He should have known better than to get it down the first time. It just so happened that his right shoe was already loose enough that when he tried again, he slipped. Caught off guard and falling, his hands desperately clung onto whatever they could latch onto… which just so happen to be her.

Makoto: Mmph!

Mukuro: …!

Red. Red. Red. Makoto Naegi did not need a mirror to know just how red he was.

His sister would make it a point to tell him that when he gets home later, surely still red.

BONUS

Makoto's Cut:

Makoto must have sincerely thought over what to say to her not just today in particular but on each day Mukuro helped him out. Maybe that's why the words came flowing so naturally out of his mouth before he could catch them. He has thought of this situation before, has practiced for this before, and has never actually spoken with her like this before. They were always too busy cleaning up the collateral mess of his luck that they always ran out of time for them to properly talk more than the usual thank you's and goodbye's. The short two words of gratitude hardly spoke of how actually grateful he was that she was there to help him even though most of the time they were more of rescues than simple aids. And he wanted her to know that he appreciated her taking the time and effort to do just that.

Maybe that's why he changed the order this time. He thanked her first and then they could clean up his mess later. Or maybe skip getting into a mess in the first place. But at least he has finally properly thanked her. He thought that maybe he was too earnest and genuinely unrehearsed that he was just a bit nervous as to how she would react over his mini monologue. Was that too forceful? What if he spooked her? Or worse, what if he creeped her out? Honestly, he was already mentally preparing himself for the backlash, if any at all.

Her voice was quieter than he was used to. "You don't find me annoying?"

Except that. He definitely did not expect her to think that.

"Why would say that-" He stopped.

He took a shaky breath to compose himself and just let the cogs in his brain work. A gut feeling told him that this was a delicate situation and that he had to proceed with utmost care and caution. He flipped the words over and over in his head until he was sure that he got them right.

Slowly, and in the gentlest voice he could muster, he spoke softly. "Is that how you feel about yourself?"

"..." She looked away.

"Ikusaba-san." For the first time in his high school life, he prayed that his mother was here. Maybe she knew what the right words to say. For his sake and more importantly, for Mukuro's sake, he sincerely hoped that he at least got half of them right. "I don't know much about what you've been through so I don't even know if I have the right to say this but I want you to stop."

She flinched for the tiniest fraction and he immediately regretted his choice of words. He panicked.

"I'm your friend. Or at least, I'd like to think I am. I mean, I do want to be friends with you. I'd like to believe that we're already friends. No, wait, let me start again from the top."

Maybe he was making it worse but he'd like to believe that he was helping. He was determined to help her. For all the times that she had helped him, he was intent on being the one to help her this time. And for this reason, he found the resolve to press on.

"I am your friend. And I also believe that you're a wonderful person."

In a world that treated her like a living weapon, Makoto wanted to make her understand that she too, was also human.

~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~