Rajan Zed

We all have the right to family. Is it up to us, the parents, to decide the number of children we should have, or is it up to God?

Some stress that we have responsibility to slow down the population growth in order to avoid humanitarian and environmental problems — about 353,000 children are born daily, and the world’s population is now more than 7.4 billion. Others point out that planet has endured the growing numbers very well in the past and term lower birth rates as losing the biological will to live or demographic suicide.

Why do some religions and denominations tend to have more children than others? Do our belief systems shape out fertility strategies? Is religiosity related to family size? Does frequency of attendance at churches, mosques, temples and synagogues have anything to do with the number of children we have?

Some indicate that religion is slowly losing influence on the family size. Does religion impact human reproduction more than economics? Is there a limit to the number of people this planet can hold? Are religions causing world population growth?

How many children per family are ideal: zero ... three ... seven ... 12 ... more?

What light do our scriptures throw on this issue? What does God want from us on family size?

We asked our panel of distinguished religious leaders of the region the following question: Should we have large or small families?

Here is what they have to say:

BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY

ElizaBeth Webb Beyer, Temple Beth Or rabbi

According to halacha (Jewish law), husbands are obligated to the mitzvah (commandment) to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28, Genesis 9:7). The Sages say this means that a couple should have at least one boy and one girl. Technically, wives do not have the same obligation since child-bearing is potentially life-threatening. Nevertheless, Sages strongly encourage larger families based upon Ecclesiastes 11:6: “In the morning sow your seed and in the evening do not desist,” unless the wife’s physical or emotional condition dictates otherwise. However, if a woman’s life would be endangered by pregnancy, the couple is required to use birth control. From a religious person’s perspective, one should pray for the blessing of children because they are a precious treasure that G-d entrusts to our care.

Problems with over-population are more likely a result of lack of education and unfair distribution of resources. Jews are currently .2% of the world’s population.

FIRST HAVE SOME DIVINE-HUMAN COOPERATION

Stephen R. Karcher, St. Anthony Greek Orthodox Church presiding priest

At weddings we pray the couple “may be granted mature judgment and children as may be most expedient for them.” How many children are best? The short answer is whatever’s most expedient as the couple walks through life together with God, exercising mature judgment. This reminds us that we're commanded first of all to become good stewards of everything God’s given, which only becomes acceptable when we understand that God is the one who truly cares for both you and I, as well as the entire planet. In marriage, however, there’s a spiritual aspect that reaches much deeper, and has to do with the complete union of the couple. Whether or not there are children in a marriage, unity in peace and harmony is most important, because in this way the couple becomes an image of Christ and the Church, as the Apostle describes it, calling marriage a "great mystery" (Ephesians 5:32).

PARENTS’ DECISION

Justin V. Deverse, Baha'i teacher

Baha'u'llah leaves the decision of family size to the parents; as in all matters Baha'is are encouraged to study the writings, consult, and apply the Baha'i principle of the harmony of science of religion. This is a direct result of another Baha'i principle: the independent investigation of truth. Baha'u'llah teaches that the family is the heart of civilization, and the purpose of marriage is to rear and educate children. All children possess latent capacities and unique talents, which are sign of God, and an instrument for the advancement of the world. They are eternal beings who will go on to progress through all the worlds of God. Therefore raising children is a tremendous responsibility to which we must devote wisdom and effort. “O God, guide me, protect me, make of me a shining lamp and a brilliant star. Thou art the Mighty and the Powerful” (Baha'i Children's Prayer).

PERSONAL PREFERENCE

Steve Bond, lead pastor, Summit Christian Church, Sparks

The size of a person’s family — or if a married couple should even have children — is personal preference. I don’t believe the Bible speaks to this issue one way or the other.

In ancient times families tended to be larger to provide workers for the lands — generally, the larger the family the more powerful it was. This was a pragmatic decision … not necessarily mandated by God.

The Bible does teach, however, that if we have children we are to care for them and instruct them in the ways of the Lord. The Bible also teaches us to care for our extended family members and provide for their needs, when necessary.

In addition, the Bible lauds singleness as a very appropriate way to serve Jesus. God does not call everyone into marriage. Some are called to a life of singleness to serve God more freely than if they were married.

DEPENDS

Kenneth G. Lucey, UNR philosophy/religion professor

The question as posed assumes everyone should have offspring, which is patently false. Various individuals join religious orders in which they take vows of celibacy. A Catholic priest or nun presumably should not have a family of any size. There are lots of other reasons why an individual might choose not to have children — for example, if it has been determined that he/she has genes that would pass along a serious malady. Another excellent reason not to have children might be the fact that one is so poor that one can barely afford to support himself, to say nothing of a family. Overpopulation is an excellent reason for limiting family size. The obvious answer to the question posed is that “It depends …”. Religions that denounce rational family planning seem to this writer just wrong. It is hard to believe that an all-good God would sanction such a prohibition.

ONE’S CHOICE

Sherif A. Elfass, Northern Nevada Muslim Community president

In Islam, children are a gift and a blessing from Allah. They are the adornment of the life of this world (Quran 18:46). Islam encourages Muslims to get married and have children. However, it did not instruct them on the number of children they should have. It is part of the free will granted to man. Islam allows regulating fertility, if needed, for a short defined period of time. For example, a couple can delay having children until they finish their studies. It does, however, prohibit castration or any procedure that permanently end man's or a woman's ability to produce children. It also forbids abortion for any reason other than posing health risk on the mother. Children are a trust given to parents by God. Parents should be wise on the number of children for which they can adequately provide good care.

CHILDREN AS GIFT

Lauri Anne Reinhart, director of lay ministry formation leadership, Roman Catholic Diocese of Reno

The Catholic Church does not go into detail on the number of children a married couple should have. Instead it has three important principles:

First, “God calls the married couple to be open to children …” and the Church in this same sentence gives a second principle: “… remembering always that having a child is not a right, but rather a gift from God” (U.S. Catechism for Adults). By being open to children, a couple understands that pregnancy is a natural outcome of sex. And while there is a biological explanation for how children are created, children are more than a scientific production; they are God’s gift.

Third, the Church believes that “The regulation of birth represents one of the aspects of responsible fatherhood and motherhood.” There are many aspects to responsible parenting. The Church recognizes that good parenting begins before a child is even conceived.

TAKE REFUGE IN LIFE

Matthew T. Fisher, Reno Buddhist Center resident priest

As with all the events in life, family size is one of those things we feel “in control of,” but in fact we are not. Myriad causes and conditions contribute to each large and small event in the universe. Our nature as bonbunin — meaning “goofballs” — is to think we are in control, but we are not. Other Power is far greater cause of life's events.

Other Power ultimately moves all things toward good, clarity and joy. Other Power is non-self. We should recognize self is a fictional character we childishly conjure up as protection and shelter. Wrapped in “I-Me-Me-My”, the self is no refuge. Self is the source of all suffering. Self artificially limits us. Truly our family is very large. We are one point of a fantastic family of life — every point in the family reflects and depends on every other point through deep interconnection.

DECISION BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE

Ryan J. Earl, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints assistant area public affairs director

The decision of how many children to have and when to have them is a private, prayerful and sacred matter left to a husband and wife (see lds.org/topics/birth-control). Whether to have large or small families is not designated by the Lord or the Church.

Many in the Church have relatively large families. We believe that children are one of the greatest sources of joy and blessings in this life and eternity, and their birth into loving and nurturing families is central to God’s purposes for humanity. The first commandment He gave to Adam and Eve was to “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28); it’s a commandment we believe is still in effect. For these reasons and being considerate of one another, a husband and wife (who are physically able) have the blessing, joy, and obligation to bear children and to raise a family.

WHATEVER IS BEST FOR ENVIRONMENT

Brian E. Melendez, American Indian spirituality scholar

From a tribal perspective, it’s safe to project that collectively, when we reminisce about the good old days when we lived exclusively off the land and the world made sense through tribal lenses; we still never took more than was ever necessary or found the need to reproduce more than what the environment, family or tribe could handle. As it pertains to Great Basin customs of kinship and family bonds, tribal people lived in small bands.

Geographically people were often required to migrate seasonally just to survive; it can get pretty rough out West! Tribal families are even smaller than they have historically been, mainly due to modern trends, most of which can be correlated to a lower socio-economic populace. American Indians are reasonably 1 percent of the United States population, which is divided by more than five hundred and sixty tribes. We are obviously not reproducing at alarming rates.

Next week’s topic: Is enhancing human capabilities OK?

Faith Forum is a weekly dialogue on religion produced by religious statesman Rajan Zed. Send questions or comments to rajanzed@gmail.com or on Twitter at @rajanzed.