NO one is safe as Reg Reagan gives his unique view on week two of the NRL finals ...

ROOSTERS V COWBOYS

GREEN WITH ENVY

COWBOYS coach, and red-faced dwarf, Paul Green knows more about the Roosters than most people, including the salary-cap auditor ... obviously. He spent last year as Trent Robinson’s assistant, but is now forging his own legacy.

Green revealed last week the secret to his coaching success: little man’s syndrome. That nagging feeling to prove he is as capable as anyone over 5ft 6in or 1.66m.

It’s a formula that didn’t work so well for Brian Smith over the years, particularly when you compare it to the approach Wayne Bennett has proven to be so successful — skinny, gawky man’s syndrome.

Green paid Robinson an enormous compliment earlier in the week, saying the Roosters boss taught him everything he knows, which according to Cowboys’ players, isn’t a lot.

‘COOKED CHOOK’ GIBE FIRES UP ROBBO

media_camera North Queensland coach Paul Green faces his old side in the Roosters.

COWBOYS RIDE INTO TOWN

WATCH out Sydney, here come the Cowboys’ fans, doing their annual pilgrimage to the “Big Smoke” to watch their footy team in September.

All the pubs and dentists are expected to do a booming business.

Yep, everywhere you look in Sydney, you’ll see 10 gallon hats, moleskins and unflushed toilets.

Sydney Police have announced “Operation Hillbilly” for the Moore Park precinct, which will target Cowboys’ supporters riding their horses under the influence of alcohol.

WINNER THURSTON EYES DALLY M TREBLE

MEMBERS EVENT WARNING

COWBOYS fans will need to get to the game early to avoid disappointment, with the Roosters announcing that all their club members will be given free entry.

As of this morning, the Roosters can proudly announce that every one of their nine members have taken up the option of a free ticket and will be there to cheer on the team they so passionately and occasionally support.

PEARCE TO FORM BIG DIFFERENCE THIS TIME

THURSTON FOR SUCCESS

JOHNATHAN Thurston is the key man in this contest. I just hope he’s not distracted by all the speculation of him winning a record third Dally M Medal.

As a five-time winner of Group 9’s dirtiest and most disrespected player, I know only too well how individual honours can dominate one’s thinking.

SEA EAGLES V BULLDOGS

TOOVES V DES

THESE two blokes have destroyed more coaching boxes than Aussie John Symonds has destroyed toilets.

Bad tempered mongrels they are. Hard to fathom Tooves and Des used to share a coaching box together at Brookie. No wonder by the time Des left for the Dogs, Brookie Oval looked like downtown Baghdad.

media_camera Geott Toovey and Des Hasler — notice how one hairstyle has changed and one hasn’t.

When things were going crook for Manly back in the day, Des and Tooves would take out their frustrations by smashing walkie-talkies, throwing chairs and tables, pouring hot wax on each other’s nipples.

MANLY TURNING MIND GAMES AGAINST DES

For Saturday night, both have requested the adjoining door of the coaches boxes be removed so they can once again share in one another’s frustrations.

T-REX TERROR

DES Hasler said through the week that T-Rex, Tony Williams, was in the best form of his life.

It’s not really a compliment given that for most of his career he’s been bloody awful.

Nonetheless, the bloke’s as big as a block of council flats and runs the little bloke into the ground with the ease of a Labor politician.

media_camera Bulldogs James Graham makes Reg Reagan leave the light on at bedtime.

JAMES GRAHAM

GEEZ, I love this bloke, although he sends chills up and down my spine.

He looks so much like a bloody serial killer, if he was standing on the side of the road hitchhiking, as much as I love him, there’s no way I’d pick him up.

Before you knew it, you’d be bound, gagged and stuffed in ya boot.

In fact, I wanna check his NRL registration to make sure his last name’s not Milat.

Bloody good ballplayer, though. More unpredictable than a Chinese driver trying to reverse park ... just as dangerous as well.