IT’S a brutal catch 22.

A man wants to demonstrate his affection by opening a few doors or offering up his coat and is consequently labelled a well-meaning sexist.

That is the message from a study published this week in the journal Sex Roles, conducted by psychologists at Northeastern University in Boston. While it was small in size, the study is believed to be the first of its kind.

According to the lead author of the study, graduate student Jin Goh, men who exhibit displays of chivalry are hindering gender equality with their “benevolent sexism”.

So apparently when it comes to gender equality, the nice guy is just a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

The study involved 27 pairs of undergraduate heterosexual couples who were filmed while playing a game of trivia and as they idly chatted afterwards.

The researchers then scrutinised the interactions of the men and women by noting everything including non-verbal cues such as smiles and body language.

Prior to the observation, Mr Goh measured the personal ideals of the men using a test called the Ambivalent Sexism Inventory. The test has men rate their agreement with statements like “women are too easily offended” (an example of hostile sexism) and “a good woman should be set on a pedestal by her man” (an example of benevolent sexism). Agreeing with a statement that suggests equality, such as “women shouldn’t necessarily be rescued before men during a disaster”, displays less of a tendency towards benevolent sexism.

No matter how the women acted, men were more likely to show patience and friendly non-verbal cues the more highly they rated on the benevolent sexism scale

So basically, irrespective of how the women acted, some men were rigidly tethered to their preconceived ideas about the fairer sex.

The men who registered a higher level of benevolent sexism also used more positive emotional words and were more patient while waiting for a woman to answer trivia questions. Researchers felt such behaviour serves to reinforce the paradigm of women as the more feeble sex.

“It’s a very paternalistic, protective view of women, and it seems kind of appealing as a sort of chivalry,” Mr Goh said. “But it does contribute to inequality, because these men don’t expect women to achieve high goals.”

So apparently, these poor sods are just misguided, well meaning fools. Mind you, the study makes no mention of accounting for the fact people might just be acting nice because they know they’re being monitored.

Whether you think the study is a win for highlighting the insidiousness of the patriarchal power structures that shape our world view or simply demonises attempts at genteel behaviour, the debate over chivalry as sexism is nothing new.

Over the weekend, Emma Watson who is an outspoken advocate for gender equality, weighed in on the issue during a Facebook Q & A.

“The key is chivalry should be consensual, both parties should be feeling good about that. I think it’s a problem when people expect things to be a certain way, to follow a certain status quo,” she said.

Amen, Ms Watson.

So guys, if you want to be a gentleman, ask your girlfriend to mow the lawn every now and then.