







Listen, I get punched in the face for a living. I don’t do too much reading and these are the longest questions I’ve ever seen. If you don’t mind I’d like to do this interview in story form. Gather round everyone and I will tell you a Daron Cruickshank tale.



Daron Cruickshank; A Memoir



Written by: Daron Cruickshank.



Illustrations by: Daron Cruickshank



Best looking fighter: Daron Cruickshank



One day in a galaxy far, far away, two great fighters fell in love. Their names were Deb and Dean. They were fierce warriors, with fighting skills unparalleled by the likes of any man. Together, they fought evil, injustice, and sometimes in basements with Brad Pitt. Deb and Dean fought valiantly for many years, until they decided they were getting too old for this shit. They couldn’t leave the world unprotected however, so they decided to have a son. He would be earth’s defender, and protect the people from zombies and boring fights. Nine months came and went, and Deb gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. She lovingly looked down at her exceptionally good looking and smart son and said “We will name you Daron. It means super badass in Latin”



Dean and Deb spent the next few years teaching Daron everything they could. They trained him relentlessly, until they were confident that the young boy could protect the world without them. Many moons passed and the young boy slowly grew into a man-child. He was everything his parents hoped he would be. He was strong, fast, tan, and collected every bit of talent the warrior parents had bestowed upon him. He was ready to protect the universe.



Tested by many, but defeated by few, Daron desperately searched the world for a formidable challenger until one day, he heard of a tournament. This tournament called for the bravest and fiercest of men from all over the world to compete for money and vitamins. This tournament was known as the Ultimate Fighter. Daron accepted the challenge and flew out on a steel bird to the land of sin and lights. There he was tested, and there he defeated many men and kicked off many faces. The judges were impressed by this warriors skills and dazzling smile, and offered him a place in their kingdom to fight permanently against other awesome dudes. Legend has it that Daron Cruickshank still fights to this day, and when the moon is right, and the trees are still, you can still see him fighting for the UFC.









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