We call rapid proliferation on the internet “going viral” for a reason: Ideas spread online exponentially, like viruses. Where viruses hijack our biology, viral memes hijack our minds. In both cases, problems arise when we can’t adapt quickly enough. Our systems get overwhelmed by the flood and eventually, we get sick.

As social, mobile, and other technologies go viral, core pillars of our society are crumbling. Big tech platforms have opened the back door to a billion minds with only one true goal: profit. It’s the perfect recipe for unintended consequences. The clearest example of this started in 2003, when a lonely Harvard student tried to engineer his way out of loneliness; just over a decade later, Facebook started accidentally breaking democratic elections. This is getting serious.

From social media to online shopping, from gaming to porn, there is a striking pattern in the emerging technologies we use the most: They simplify reality into comfortable illusions. It doesn’t seem to be a coordinated move by the tech giants. It’s just that technologies and businesses get traction when they simplify our lives, and they get even more traction when they oversimplify our lives.

Once you start to see this, you’ll see why it wreaks havoc on people’s minds: Reality isn’t simple. It’s complex and messy. Life is full of uncertainty so naturally we’re eager to flock to media where everything makes perfect sense in neat, rounded rectangles. It’s the reductionist blender. Take my life, break it into parts, and present it back to me as a comfortable illusion. It’s hard not to buy in, even when a part of me knows it isn’t real.

There is a striking pattern in the emerging technologies we use the most: They simplify reality into comfortable illusions.

Everything’s becoming a popularity contest, but who’s winning? We use social networks to cut the mystery and unpredictability from our relationships. We search for answers using personalized echo chambers that ensure we hear what we want to hear. Modern news media suck the nuance out of today’s issues and present us with a black-or-white perspective on everything.

And it’s all free! Except, it’s not. We buy into these oversimplified illusions of reality because they are more comfortable than the truth. Curated relationships, editable identities, sexual pleasure on demand, and a society where everyone agrees with you. It’s a utopian dream … but what happens when you wake up?

When a reductionist illusion collides with reality, we hurt. We’ve sold each other so hard on this nonsense that we’re struggling to connect with daily life, where we rarely get constant stimulation or perfect control. Instead, we have to do things like wait for the bus. And change diapers. And talk to people without being able to edit our messages after sending.

We’re losing the ability to build fulfilling relationships. We can’t find common ground with people we disagree with. Truth is arguable, and face-to-face conversations feel risky. Mental health issues are growing severe and young people are committing more self-harm than ever. We’re spending all our time with our heads in the cloud and it’s eroding our attention and sapping our ability to stay present.

As we get used to an oversimplified digital life, our capacity to face the real world is disintegrating. When you’re designing a website to book airline tickets, the simpler the better. But when your platform simplifies a basic human need like social connection, or a democratic foundation like news, you need to be careful.