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Measuring programmer productivity
I'm about to finish my degree in computer science. Most of my course involved C and Java with a tiny bit of PHP and SQL and most of this was simple toy programs to learn about algorithms and low level data structures. I feel that when I code it seems like a struggle sometimes and I spend a lot of time thinking about good solutions to problems, but I don't feel I'm as productive as I could be. Seeing as measuring the productivity of a programmer is a hard problem it's very difficult to get an idea of how productive I am compared with others and I think this is a general problem among programmer. If I don't know what is a reasonable amount of time to spend doing something then how am I ever supposed to improve. How do you measure your own productivity and what do you do to improve it?
9
[ { "body": "I measure my productivity like this:\n\n * Write comments documenting the program I have to develop. Each comment is for a specific area for which I know I have to write some significant feature. I always do this first, after 20 years it works so well I just do it naturally.\n * Get each comment coded.\n\nMeasure: a) number of comments describing features/aspects of the code, b) number of comments with matching code, manage myself by comparing A) and B) on a frequent (daily/weekly) basis as needed. If I'm stuck: do A) more. If I'm not stuck, B) comes naturally .. \n", "score": 8 }, { "body": "> it's very difficult to get an idea of how productive I am compared with others\n\nImprove what you do - don't bother about how that might compare to others.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Programmer productivity is a farce. Programming is the idea of turning your ideas to creation. If you feel happy and proud about your creation at the end of the day, you have been productive. Every other metric is a big bloody fat lie. Only an ignorant fool would put money as a parameter for productivity. That said, productivity is not my problem but focus is. Here are a few things that help me stay focussed.\n\n* Have unprioritized lists and start doing things top to bottom. Fear is the biggest reason for procrastination. \n* If you find yourself wandering, take a break and wander purposefully and come back on track.\n* Dont beat yourself about missed deadlines. Life is too short for things as trivial as deadlines.\n* If you find that your job is getting bitter, quit. I am sure you can find another fulfilling job. If you find that all the jobs you are getting into are bitter, may be the source of bitterness is within you and not outside.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "> what do you do to improve it?\n\nWorry less about measuring my productivity and get back to coding. Experience and practice are the solutions.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I measure by results. If I solve a problem without causing new ones, I've accomplished something. Break your work down into the smallest, most understandable chunks, and work at it until you've either solved the problem or know what you need to learn in order to solve it. You'll know you're making progress when the \"chunks\" you break your work into get gradually more complex.", "score": 3 }, { "body": ">If I don't know what is a reasonable amount of time to spend doing something then how am I ever supposed to improve.\n\nBy comparing how long it took you to do something to how long it took you last time you did something comparable.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Here is essentially what I email all of the new programmers I hire.\n---------------------------------------------------------------\nHey,\n \nI'm trying to do a couple of things to get stuff to work smoothly between the programmers and the people asking for work done, and I figured I'd share with you some of the things that I do that help me out.\n \n1.) I carry a notebook just about everywhere. I do this because you are going to walk over to talk to someone for a few seconds and they will off handley make some comment like, \"oh yeah, make that not include the first of the month\". Trying to remember the big details on a project and not writing down the little ones sucks on a project in our company where there are a crap ton of details and small stuff like this can throw off your numbers.\n \n2.) Verify your numbers -- I usually try to look at a days worth of data to make sure nothing looks fucked up, if you have a day that is right more than likely all the other days are correct also -- but check things out anyways. \n \n3.) Clarify everything. Going back to number 1, when someone asks you for a report on sold widgets, depending on who asks it they may have a separate set of criteria from someone else. These are the questions I ask:\n \n\n * What Date Range?\n * Are we looking at the date the widget was sold or the time the widget shipped?\n * What are you actually trying to figure out or determine? This question is beyond important, we are hired because we know how to program and we are logical -- sometimes what they want to see and what they are asking for will not line up, try and help them come to the right idea.\n\n4.) Rubric your project out. Break out your project into segments, look over your notes, and make a rubric for what you need to accomplish. It will help you stay focused because you'll spend more time doing and less time planning things while trying to think about something else. Also, if someone asks you how your project is coming along you can show them your rubric and if you are putting checkboxes next to things and checking them off -- they will know you are doing something.\n \n5.) Kid gloves. Until you've worked a good relationship with someone else, you should probably give them the kid gloves treatment -- as soon as they feel they can trust you and know you'll do good work for them, you can slowly take them off and spend less time talking and more time being straight. I didn't kid gloves someone and got called an asshole, take it from me.\n\n6.) Your productivity is going to fluctuate, it happens -- not everyone can code all day long. Take a breather and surf the net and then come back to your projects and continue work. Code your projects and scripts so things are reusable and are easy to modify, you will set yourself up later to look amazing when they want to make some changes and it only takes a couple of minutes. Once this has happened a couple of times you will buy yourself more time later to work on projects because they will understand that you are planning for the future.\n\n7.) Don't be afraid to hack something. If something has to be fixed immediately hack it together, write it up tighter when you have the time.\n\n8.) Back up everything and test your backups.", "score": 3 } ]
New to this subreddit and would like to know what are some good American beers
I'm in southern California and I don't know what are some good local beers that I could enjoy. I went to Scotland this summer and enjoyed some absolutely delicious beers and I would like to experience something similar here. On a side note I just got a homebrewing kit so I will be enjoying some of my own (hopefully).
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[ { "body": "Anything from Deschutes or Rogue. Both are amazing breweries out of Oregon.\nStone Brewery out of California is good.\nOld Rasputin Stout from Lost Coast Brewing.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Just out of curiosity, are you American?\n\nOn to your question: What styles do you like? If you don't know much about styles, what specific beers did you like in Scotland? People who have had the beers you had may be able to make recommendations that are similar. \n\nWhat you should know beforehand is that American craft beers, especially West Coast craft beers, can be much more \"in your face\" than their European brethren, unless you had any Brewdog beers in Scotland. \n\nAnyway, if you give some guidance on what styles or brands you like, people will be able to provide better recommendations.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I lived in San Diego for 5 years. It depends on what kind of beer you like....\n\n[Green Flash](http://www.greenflashbrew.com/),\n[Ballast Point](http://www.ballastpoint.com/),\n[Stone Brewing](http://www.stonebrew.com/)\n\nJust to name a few....also, what would you consider local? There are many excellent beers brewed in other places in California, such as:\n\n[Red Seal Ale](http://www.northcoastbrewing.com/home.htm),\n[Anchor Steam](http://www.anchorbrewing.com/),\nand of course [Sierra Nevada](http://www.sierranevada.com/)\n\nIf you are in the San Diego area, I always enjoyed going to:\n\n[San Diego Brewing Company](http://www.sandiegobrewing.com/) and\n[La Jolla Brew House](http://www.lajollabrewhouse.com/) - excellent happy hour, by the way\n\nNot sure if this helps, but have fun exploring new brews! The local Trader Joe's and BevMo in your area will be pretty reliable for a good selection. Good luck!\n\n\n\n\n", "score": 4 } ]
What are good drinks with gin other than gin and tonic?
Don't get me wrong, I love me some gin and tonic, and I love gin. But I was wondering what are some other drinks with gin in them that people like.
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[ { "body": "Tom Collins, mmmmm. I usually use simple syrup instead of grain sugar but here is a decent recipe:\n\n\n\n2 oz gin\n\n1 oz lemon juice\n\n1 tsp superfine sugar\n\n3 oz club soda\n\n1 maraschino cherry\n\n1 slice orange\n", "score": 20 }, { "body": "GIN BUCKET!!!! A handle of the cheapest dirtiest gin will do the trick. Mix with 2 liters of sprite, 2 liters of lemonade, sliced lemons and limes and ice in a large, clean bucket. Drink out of a turkey baster while yelling \"gin buckets!!!!!\"\n", "score": 13 }, { "body": "Gin and freshly squeezed lemonaid. I use one large lemon, wash it, cut it in two and squeeze it by hand into the glass followed by a half a lime. I then throw the lemon halves and lime half into the glass, cover with ice, pour the gin over that and then top it off with water. Mix everything up and it should be nice and murky, almost opaque, and very delicious -- my personal favorite.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Gin and Ginger are pretty good. \nGin and Cherry Cola. \n\nhttp://www.barnonedrinks.com/drinks/by_ingredient/g/gin-486.html has a whole host of gin drinks to try. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": " *[Aviation](http://drinkdogma.com/the-aviation-cocktail/)\n*[White Spider](http://www.drinkboy.com/Cocktails/Recipe.aspx?itemid=168)\n*[Vesper](http://www.drinkboy.com/Cocktails/Recipe.aspx?itemid=164)\n*[French 75](http://www.cocktaildb.com/recipe_detail?id=3082)\n*[Corpse Reviver #2](http://www.cocktaildb.com/recipe_detail?id=581)\n*[A Master Bartender's Ramos Gin Fizz](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj417erX2W8)\n*[The Last Word](http://www.drinkboy.com/Cocktails/Recipe.aspx?itemid=94)\n*[Fog Cutter](http://www.cocktaildb.com/recipe_detail?id=3064)\n*[Gimlet](http://www.cocktaildb.com/recipe_detail?id=4257)\n*Gin Greyhounds\n\nAnd of course, martinis. You really can't go wrong with gin.\n", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Used to bartend. Take some ginger, grapes and grapefruit juice muddle and mix that. Or you could make a basil fizz drink with red thai basil and ginger muddle that up and top it off with club soda. that last one reminds me of a mojito in its preparation", "score": 3 }, { "body": "My favorite is Hendrick's and soda, with cucumber. If no Hendrick's or no cucumber, I just go with a gin and tonic.\n\nHendrick's is the shit, you should try it if you haven't yet (and it's still relatively unknown, so you look very cool and in the know when you order it). [Their website](http://www.hendricksgin.com/us/cocktails/index.asp) also has a good list of gin cocktails.", "score": 3 } ]
IAMA nerdy first-gen college student from an extremely racist, conservative, redneck family. AMAA.
I work in IT, play video games, and have a zombie survival poster hanging up on my apartment wall. I'm also nearly finished with my undergrad degree. No one else in my admittedly enormous family has gone to college - none of my four older siblings ever finished high school, and recently I had to babysit my pregnant 19 year-old cousin's daughter because she was busted for growing pot in her house. When I registered democrat politically, my mom told me (only mostly jokingly) to go back and change it to republican. The fact that I don't currently have a love interest makes a lot of my family give me the stink-eye, since it seems to be socially expected for me to start popping out babies by 20, and I've already passed that mark. Alcoholism, racism, and a love for Nascar are pretty much the three biggest ties my family has. Regardless, I love my family more than anything - we just don't see eye to eye on a lot. AMAA.
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[ { "body": "I am also a first-gen college student. Both of my siblings dropped out of high school. Actually your family life sounds a lot like mine, instead of being in a rural, redneck type area, I'm in an urban inner-city type area. I went to an expensive, preppy, liberal arts college with a lot of rich kids, so I've never met anyone who's also in this situation. What is it that motivates you, when I feel like it would have been so easy to just fall into the same shit as the rest of your family?", "score": 5 }, { "body": "* Religious views: same or different to your family?\n* homosexuality: same views or different to your family\n* Race: same views or different to your family\n* Does your family now embarrass you?\n* Since you began college have your views changed?\n* Do you now get into regular arguments with your family about your views?", "score": 4 } ]
What is it like to have sex with a supermodel?
I created this account to ask all of the ridiculous (but honest) questions that materialize in my brain on random occasions. For example, I was just watching the music video where a Ukrainian pop star strips naked and walks around a grocery store for five minutes when all of a sudden I thought to myself, "Man, I wonder what it's like to have sex with a supermodel...." (link at the bottom) Now I know the actual physical part probably has more to do with how skilled/experienced a girl is rather than how hot she is, but what about the mental part? If any redditors out there have had sex with a supermodel (or equivalent 10/10), can you please share your story with us? Did the sheer excitement make the sex better or was it a major let down? Was it harder to last longer? Thanks. [http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/aogsb/ukrainian_pop_star_gets_right_to_the_point_in_her/](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/aogsb/ukrainian_pop_star_gets_right_to_the_point_in_her/)
3
[ { "body": "It is about the same as with normal women, but the bragging rights are so much better. Plus there was a period for like a week afterwards where there were automatic high fives.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I was with a girl once that I considered a 10/10. I didn't know her- but I had a crush on her for year and years during college. I would see her around in the cafeteria or something, and my heart would just speed up.\n\nIt wasn't until after I graduated that I ended up dating her. We fell in love practically overnight.\n\nIt was heaven on Earth.\n\n>Did the sheer excitement make the sex better or was it a major let down?\n\nBetter\n\n>Was it harder to last longer?\n\nNo.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Howdy.\n\nI had a professional fashion model g/f for a while. It was great. She also had a great personality, was funny, etc. so a total find.\n\nThe sex was as good and fun as with any other girl. You learn what you both like, go at it, etc. In the end we had a great time because of common interests, ambitions, etc. rather than just the physicality of it. After a while I stopped noticing her for her looks and more for the things she did. We had a blast.\n\nI learned with her that having a great attitude toward life, women, relationships, fun, etc. is a bigger turn-on than all the compliments and wooing you may pile on a chick. Great attitude translates into self-confidence, and when you have it you relax. When you relax and show confidence you also attract more attractive girls. Having her on my arm made other girls actually hit on me once in a while (of course, there was always someone trying to pick her up). The girls that came afterward were consistently more attractive than before too.\n\nI had my share of bitchy, whiny g/fs too -- those relationships end quickly. Overall the first knockout girl \"opened the gates\" for me to seek, date, and have fun with more hot girls. They aren't any harder to woo or have a relationship with than any other girl; they are only harder when you first meet them to break the ice.\n\nGood luck and have fun!", "score": 3 } ]
Somewhat new to usenet and was wondering whats a good newsgroup to get some good ol porn from?
topic (i know about torrents and use them exclusively, I just got my hands on usenet and I want to know what kind of porn I can find with it)
5
[ { "body": "I don't know about individual groups, but it'd probably be easier using nzb indexes like http://nzbxxx.com or http://www.newzxxx.com/. The latter might need a newzbin invite though.", "score": 3 } ]
Observation on human behavior [9]
I think that pretty much -- if not all -- of human behavior can be split into two categories: 1. New sensations 2. Familiar and pleasant sensations All human action is about these two types of sensations. No one seeks out unpleasant sensations, they just encounter them while looking for new sensations. This is why memes catch on: they are familiar and pleasant sensations, and so we parrot them and enjoy seeing them repeated. Things like sex, drugs, music, movies, books, television -- they are all about seeking out new sensations. Why? Because some of those new sensations will be pleasant, and we want to move them into the "familiar and pleasant" category. Take Lost for example; why are people so invested in the show? Not everyone, granted, but millions of people are really eager to see the final season, me included. But there's no logical reason to be excited, since none of it is actually real, it's all an illusion. We are hoping that the conclusion makes the entire series a "familiar and pleasant" sensation, as opposed to an unpleasant sensation, like what many experienced with BSG. Television analogies aside, I think this kinda fits the mold for human behavior pretty well, but if there are holes or flaws in the thinking, do tell.
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[ { "body": "Look at history and how obvious each step is from the previous.\n\n\nNow think about the insane amount of people required to make that happen.\n\n\nNow think about yourself as one of those people. Now you are starting to see *'The Machine'*.", "score": 3 } ]
Hey reddit, what's your opinion on vegetarianism, enjoying meat and loving animals?
I love poultry, game meat, seafood, etc., but also love animals. Are there any more who feel this way? I wonder if I am being partial to some animals or is there something wrong. Animal cruelty is something I condemn strongly but does it mean I should become vegetarian?
10
[ { "body": "i personly believe, that if we treated our meat correctly in its lifetime, killing and eating would't be an issue.\nEspecialy in sight of the fact that if we by extension \"allow life to exist, which naturaly wouldn't be there.\"\nYes, there would be cows, but the cows we EAT owe their individual lifes to the fact that we breed them, to eat.\n\nTo establish the best outcome in terms of \"enjoyment\" for individual animals it's nescesairy to see that \"not being\" doesn't beat \"living and than dieing\" per definition, but only if that lifetime is truely spend in overarching suffering.\n\nI like meat, and i do not see anything fundamentaly wrong with it.\nAlthough i agree, our practice about it, and the amount we as species consume is attrocious.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "If you don't want to give up meat, there are many ways that you can help out animals without becoming a vegetarian. Join something like the WWF, help out at an animal shelter, buy your meat from a local place where you know they treat their animals properly...\n\nPersonally, I'm mostly worried about what they're putting in my meat before it goes in me...", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I am a meat-eater but I am more concerned with the effects of factory farming on animals, the environment, and humans. Hunting and killing an animal or raising an animal on a farm then killing it for food is way different then breeding unhealthy animals in crowded dark metal containers for mass consumption. Not only do I think its unhealthy for us its extremely unethical. While Im aware I support these institutions with my daily purchases I am making an effort to only support companies that dont use these practices. I have no problems with vegetarianism and its something I may even consider in the future for myself. I also have no problems with meat eaters but the \"durrrrrrrr animals are made of meat lets eat them who cares how its made\" crowd is a bit retarded. Factory farming IS fucked up.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "\"You can still eat meat and hate animal cruelty.\"\n\nHypocritical argument. You may not be administering the cruelty yourself by buying a neatly packaged lump of animal flesh at the supermarket, but it has been well documented, by PETA and other organizations, that cruelty and mistreatment takes place at all levels of the animal food industry, especially poultry.\n\nTo a broiler chicken, it makes no difference if you kick it yourself or pay somebody else to do it.\n\nAnd, as for the argument that \"meat is cheaper than vegetarian/vegan alternatives,\" remember that the meat industry receives huge government subsidies. It would be impossible for the industry to sustain itself without federal dollars propping it up. It is, inherently, an unsustainable form of agriculture.\n\nExcept for grazing animals raised in parts of the world with little otherwise arable land, there is no sane argument in favor of modern reliance on meat as a staple food. It is an extremely wasteful, polluting, and cruel industry that is completely unnecessary (humans can get complete nutrition from plant-based sources). Meat would be just fine for special occasions, but the American way of \"it's not a meal without meat\" is ridiculous and completely goes astray of our hunter-gatherer heritage, where a diet high in fruits, nuts, grains or whatever else was locally available was accented a few times a week when the hunters brought in a carcass. \n\n\"Tastes good\" is not a valid argument for trashing the planet. People's insatiable zeal for large amounts of meat has spurred the rise of factory farming, rainforest destruction for grazing/feed production land, and other environmental catastrophes. Plus, we now have the fattest nation on earth, and many health problems are related to overeating, especally the overconsumption of high-protein, high-fat foods.\n\nAnd, as far as the original argument goes, that's an ethical decision each person has to come to terms with. I personally think that it's hypocritical to \"love animals\" but make an exception for food animals in order to justify one's addiction to meat. Many people, however, feel it's perfectly all right. \n\nThe bottom line is, the less meat you consume, the less negative impact your existence has on the Earth.", "score": 3 } ]
I just finished reading "The Feminine Mystique". I an shocked, horrified, and dumbfounded.
I am 28. I guess I take it for granted that I, as a woman, am considered a whole human being with every right to fulfill my potential as a man. I had no idea how BAD it was - or rather I had a simpleminded idea that didn't take into account the actuality of living to the housewife expectations. But I think I am most shaken by the notion that I just read, in essence, about what eventually killed my mother. My mother killed herself in 2006. She was raised within the mystique to a pathological extent. When she was a young teenager my grandmother would starve her and her sisters because we run big in our family, and "a lady never weighs over 110". She cut their hair, forced them to dye it blonde. She repeatedly told them that their job was to be a "jewel on a man's arm", and that was all they could ever hope to be. And so they are. My aunt is married to a wealthy man and dabbles in art, my other aunt is an escort, and my mother went through four marriages before she eventually killed herself. My mother was a brilliant woman. She was a talented artist, a voracious reader, but because of the way she was raised she never took herself seriously. When my brother and I were very young, she started nursing school. But one day, my then four or five year old older brother told her "I need a mommy, not a nurse". She quit that day. And It seems to me she also quit having any plans for herself, her life, other than wife and mother, and whatever affairs she could wrangle up on the side (which were a lot). Just as it said in the mystique, sex had become her function, her job, the only thing she was good at. My escort aunt took it to an extreme. My mother just let it slowly eat her. She wrote a couple of books that could have been published had she been willing to do the editing required. She got a BA in art and could have gotten a Masters and become a teacher, but she just didn't want to make a commitment. She turned her attention to attracting the attention, at 56 or so, of a ..let's call him a minor celebrity. My mother did eventually seduce and befriend this minor celebrity. He dabbled with her, and then went on to marry a woman in her young thirties whom he could have children with. She obsessed about him for a couple of years and when she finally realized it was never to happen, and (I think) that she was going to get older and lose her looks, she shot herself. I know that isn't the whole reason but it is a lot of it. Her function was gone. Her self imposed reason for living was being taken away by the years and I guess she couldn't stand it. The worst part is even though she had a man in her life who did (and still does) love her without limit, but he was overweight, and only a waiter, and threfore" wasn't good enough" for him. She had to live trhough a successful man. Every man she had married was a "successful" man who hadn't loved her back. But this fat waiter loved her, the very heart of her, and she turned him away in favor of some "status" man she could never have - who would fulfill her own need for a self. It enrages and saddens me - on top of the sadness of having lost my mother I slowly start to realize I never had her in the first place - this cultural idea took her from me way before I was born. I even see these ideas in active in my own life and self-regard. I see how guilty I feel for not "using" my beauty, not starving myself, not "being all I can be". I see the ways in which everything I did was subtly to attract a man. I finally did, and I realized that I had nothing much inside but dreams. No real opinions, no real stances - just a vague notion of whatever interested me, whatever might best please who I was around. I'm working through that trying to find more of myself, as it were, but before I read this book it never occurred to me that what I was suffering was a cultural symptom, handed down, and that it contributed to my mom's death a lack of life. I think I have been, all my life, subconsciously accepting that as soon as I married and had children my life would be essentially over, and living in dread of, but having no real choice but than, follow my mother's morbid footsteps into the dark. It wasn't until I read this book till I realized how I grew up and what I have been denying myself, and why my mother died, and I have to stop now because frankly I'm going numb and I feel like I'm going to vomit. Thank you for listening. **edit** Thanks you so much for your replies everyone.
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[ { "body": "Woah, heavy shit. I'm so sorry for your loss.\n\nBut in some ways, this (while completely traumatizing) is a really amazing discovery. You're getting to understand the person your mother was in ways many people don't ever have a chance to.", "score": 39 }, { "body": "Ugh, that concept, \"jewel on a man's arm\", who could possibly want it - surely a man wouldn't! What kind of a relationship can you have when one of the parties has erased herself?", "score": 34 }, { "body": "Where is user \"youdeserveahug\" when you need him (her?) most?!?\n\nI'm a man. I really don't have any idea what to say. I want to say \"I hope you feel better,\" but when one comes to such a stark realization it is hard to \"feel better\" for a considerable amount of time.\n\nI hope you can survive? No...\n\n**I hope you can take care of yourself.** Having such self-awareness, you are probably burdened by your past mistakes and might feel as though you haven't fully matured into the person you want to become. You might feel as though you have some kind of social handicap, that you will need people to go easy on you because you haven't gotten used to this adjustment in your perspective.\n\nBut it's okay. I've gone through something... somewhat similar. Lots of people do each and every day. And they continue living, too. It's hard, but it can be done. You just have to learn how to be self-reliant and take care of yourself.", "score": 33 }, { "body": "Hugs!\n\nYou have an amazing story. Have you ever thought of publishing your mothers work?\n\nI'm going to go buy this book tomorrow.\n\nLife really does start at 30 and when you have children then things really get rollin'. ;)", "score": 28 }, { "body": "::hugs:: As has been said here there is a value in the realisations you're coming to. I tell many people this: when it comes to the various forms of sexism, chauvinism, and misogyny it isn't enough to know that it's happening, although that's a critical first step. It's most important to know *why* it's happening.\n\nKnowing why gives you power and strength against it ever happening to you, and it gives you power over those who would try to hold you back. It was too late for your mother and perhaps your aunts as well, but not for you. Continue to arm yourself with knowledge, continue to think critically and learn.\n\nThis realisation you've come to is more than many people reach in their lifetimes, male or female, for any number of issues of personal introspection. There's strength in being able to admit such things about yourself. Take comfort in the fact that if you should ever decide to have kids, you'll raise them right and break the cycle. Whether you have children or not, however, you can find the strength to succeed where your mother did not.\n\nGood luck to you, sister. :)", "score": 21 }, { "body": "I hope you don't mind, but I was very moved by this post, and [redditstories'd](http://www.reddit.com/r/redditstories/comments/aon2o/she_repeatedly_told_them_that_their_job_was_to_be/) it.", "score": 16 }, { "body": "It's hard for a lot of guys to understand this. Many believe that sexism doesn't really exist anymore, but of course, they haven't experienced it firsthand. Depending on where you grow up, these ideas definitely persist, if for no other reason than the fact that, as you demonstrated, our parents grew up with them and never completely grew out of them.\n\nMy parents definitely encouraged me to pursue my various dreams, and still do, but even they are trapped by their conceptions of gender roles. My mother hates discussing finances, yet also hates that my father controls them. She also expects my father to provide for the family. My father expects his authority to be paramount.\n\nHugs! You've been through a lot, but realizing why you do what you do is the first step to fixing it. A self-aware life isn't always easy, but it's better than the alternative; good luck finding your happiness! ", "score": 13 }, { "body": "I understand you feel bad right now but the truth will set you free. The future is yours to shape you inspiring, intellectual warrior woman.", "score": 11 }, { "body": "My mother always wanted to be a nurse, but her father told her that she wasn't smart enough. She didn't work through most of most of my childhood, and only now is starting a career that she loves. I might have to pick up the book, too.", "score": 11 }, { "body": "Redundant, but: I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. \n\nAlso: You inherited something of her gift for words, and whatever misdirected passion boiled underneath that. You write so well, you must write this somehow into history. How the feminine mystique kills the female, or some such. \n\nYour life will NOT be over as soon as you marry! Children are just an annoyance to be pushed aside! Just kidding on that last one. I have 3 beautiful daughters, a loving husband, and a very successful and rewarding career. I am, sadly, not remotely pretty enough to be a jewel on a man's arm BUT I damn well put jewels on people's arms! \n\nPlease post more about your thoughts. You have support here, and your writing is awesome.\n\nNow I need to go read this book...", "score": 9 }, { "body": "Wow. Thank you for for sharing your experience. I also read the **Feminine Mystique** but I have to admit that I never fully realized how real the consequences of buying into this myth can be for some women. \n", "score": 8 }, { "body": "I am very, very, sorry about your mother. I don't have anything profound to say about you loss, other than that I am truly sorry.\n\nIf you liked *The Feminist Mystique* you might be interested in the writings of bell hooks (not capitalized). She is a feminist who, for me, takes it even further. She criticizes *The Feminine Mystique* for being primarily for women of privilege. Now, of course, women of privilege (or nor privileged but of a privileged class) can, and do, suffer as well. Hooks isn't discounting that. \n\n>Hooks is also notable for her critique of the feminist movement itself, particularly followers of Betty Friedan's influential book *The Feminine Mystique*. She argues that the feminist movement, though claiming to speak for all women, is dominated by white, upper/middle class interests and perspectives. For instance, when Friedan and others argue that women need to leave the domestic sphere and get jobs, hooks points out that lower-class women have *always* had to work; domestic life is, for them, a luxury. Hooks believes, among other things, that many current social issues (especially race, gender, sex, class, and sexual orientation) are inextricably interconnected, and that positive social change requires confronting them \"as a whole.\"\n\nHooks' essay blew me away when I first read it (in college). I can't find it online, but if you can, look for it. It takes *TFM* a number of steps further. \n\nMuch more recently (2000) she published a book called *Feminism is for Everybody*. One [review](http://reconstruction.eserver.org/BReviews/revFeminism.htm) is here. Excerpt from the review: \n\n>One particularly strong chapter is on feminist class struggle (chapter 7). This chapter links class and behavior -- how women are taught expectations about behavior, and how women understand and resolve problems. Drawing from work by Rita Mae Brown, Betty Friedan, Mary Barfoot, Charlotte Bunch, and Nancy Myron, as well as her own previously-published work (e.g., *Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center*), hooks critiques the notion that economic gains of affluent females is a positive sign for all women. Instead, hooks argues *\"that freedom of privileged-class women of all races has required the sustained subordination of working-class and poor women\"* (41). She asks readers to consider how \"feminist liberation is linked to a vision of social change which challenges class elitism\" (43). In this sense, she suggests that we rethink the meaning of work. \"When women work to make money to consume more rather than to enhance the quality of our lives on all levels, work does not lead to economic self-sufficiency. More money does not mean more freedom if our finances are not used to facilitate well-being.\" \n\nDon't give up. And don't limit yourself to thinking about what you can do, what your potential is, to one vision and and one analysis of feminism that is accurate but perhaps limited. You have more options than you realize. \n\nedit: grammar\n", "score": 8 }, { "body": "Piecing together the trauma of our parents and their parents, and discovering from there how we have been affected can be powerful and overwhelming. It can cause a rush of submerged memories, which leads to some difficult revelations.\n\nBut you have achieved a victory of sorts, because you're aware of the mistakes that you can make, and you have the resources to address them, whether it's a circle of friends or a therapist. Too many people lack a sense of introspection and end up just repeating family history. With your knowledge and awareness, you are now capable of determining your own course into the future.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Instead of something exhilarating, it's a sort of deadening feeling for that kind of epiphany, and for that I hope you will eventually pass it and move in a better direction. \n\nWe'll be here to listen to you, always.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I felt a great deal of anger towards the whole world for a while after I read that book. It was an eye-opener and moved me deeply. I began to see the older women in my family with a much deeper, more sympathetic understanding.\n", "score": 6 }, { "body": "It's been many years since I read that book, but I do remember being shocked at the world she described. I hope it helps you eventually to have a context to understand some parts of why your mother's life was shaped in certain ways. Although you can see some aspects of these pressures have affected you, your world is very different, and your awareness of these things and exploration of ideas like \"the mystique\" will help you create a different path. Take care, and I hope you feel better soon.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Wow thank you for that OP. Your post was very engrossing. I could not stop reading once I started. You have impacted my view of women. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Thank you so much for sharing something that must have been so painful. Realization is the first step towards personal change, if that's what you decide you want. You're quite hard on yourself in your essay and I hope that won't last long. You wrote such a self-aware, moving, and relatable piece here, you're really quite talented.\n\nElements of you took from this are really important for all women to realize. If anyone is looking for a very important and historic read, pick up TFM. Though the OP had a very personal, painful, and moving experience, it's universally shocking how little things have changed since \"the olden days\".", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Hey, I want to say I heard you and second the hug -- it was hard to read this at my desk and pretend that I wasn't being emotional.\n\nBut another thought occurred to me, that may be hard to appreciate right now. But, in some ways you've been given a gift -- you've gotten insight into your mother in a way that many of us never will. I feel that, on reading what you wrote, your eyes have opened up in this regard and not only have you reached an understanding on, at least some, of her motivation, but that maybe you're able to appreciate her and her struggles more? I know its hard, but at the same time, I really do think thats a gift.\n\nI also know what its like to feel like your only purpose is to be there for a man -- I bucked against that which meant anything feminine was to be avoided. I'm 30 and I'm just now trying to learn to accept that its ok to be feminine.\n\nHang in there. I know this is overwhelming, but this knowledge and your self processing is what is going to help you ease out of that cycle.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "At the risk of being downvoted I've always felt a bit dismissive / repulsed at women that think their only duty is to look good. I've always had impressive and independent women in my life and I could never be attracted to a woman purely for her looks. I always thought it was karma that such a person aged and had nothing to fall back on. I never really considered how they were raised or that we were complicit as a society in valuing that person's beauty so much that we actually encouraged them to neglect growing in any other way. \n\nI'm sorry for your loss and thank you for helping me have a more empathetic point of view. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Such is the weight of legacy. Opening your eyes hurts at first, but then, once they've adjusted, you can truly see.\n\nYou've had a powerful experience. The emotional consequences of stuff like this is one of the reasons that the consciousness raising groups of the 60s and 70s were so valuable. Do you have a group irl you can talk about this stuff with? If so, use them. In any case, you're definitely not alone.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "> I see the ways in which everything I did was subtly to attract a man.\n\nyou're not alone and neither is your gender. exceptions abound on both sides of the aisle, there are plenty of cases where everything *i* do has been with the intention of attracting a girl. take the opposite sex out of the picture and i'm sure easily ninety-percent of men would spend all of their time watching television and playing video games.\n\nyou're definitely not alone.", "score": 3 } ]
Is 10 years old too young an age to start telling a kid that what his parents have told him about religion isn't necessarily true?
My cousin, who is 10, and who I think is pretty cool and is very smart for his age, insists on emailing me forwards of insipid religious chain letter spam. The latest, 2 days ago, was called "the (scientific) death of jesus" and was like a mini passion of the christ, in which photos of white jesus being brutalized are used to compel you.The final picture even says "see how much I love you." No question mark on that. I decided to respond. I basically outlined the fact that killing another living thing can't take away responsibility for your own actions and explained how it was based on the practice of scapegoating. he finally got back to me today with this: >Well Jesus as God came down as a man,but he is still God. Someday we will all die,maybe at different times, but we're all gonna have to face God and our sin,then who or what is going to be your scapegoat. What are you going to say to God then? to which I replied: >except the fact that we will all someday die, I don't believe any of that. I know you've been told that this is all true and that you must believe it or there will be severe consequences, but the truth of the matter is that it is a highly contentious issue. there is plenty of evidence that indicates that what the bible says is nothing more than a collection of old folklore with little or no basis in reality. Asimov's Guide to the Bible is an incredible resource for those looking to understand how the bible came about, and here's a hint: god didn't write it. >as for the stories specifically about Jesus; they were written second hand, and anonymously, over 50 years after the fact, by people who never met the man. The church later decided to attribute them to Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, but there is nothing that actually links the writings to those people. The supposed Q document that would prove this has never materialized. furthermore, the writings contained in the four books don't even agree on simple facts, such as who was at the tomb of Jesus after the resurrection or who was >at the crucifixion. >the point I was trying to make was that the very basis for Jesus crucifixion, that it would somehow absolve us of sin, is based on ancient superstition that isn't even practiced anymore, and it doesn't made sense if you really think about it. I'm sorry to have to have this conversation with you, I think you're too young to be thinking about religion and god and whatnot, but your parents have thrust it upon you, like mine did to me, so I consider it my duty to present the other side. I haven't heard back. I kind of imagine he's asking his parents what he should come back at me with, to be honest. should I be pursuing this, or am I just upsetting a bunch of people?
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[ { "body": "What the hell do you think, a 10 yr old is going to know what 'contentious' means, what the fuck an Asimov is, or any of that? \n\nI wish so many atheists weren't so concerned with trying to prove they're smarter than everyone. It's not about being smarter than them. Stop being insecure.\n\nHere's a tip: 10 yr olds have excellent imaginations, convince them not to let their imaginations stop at the bible. If you can get them to create their own unique god, you'll do so much better. \n\nI wish more people realized how *great* and *powerful* freethinking is.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "You're probably upsetting a lot of people, but if his parents allow/push him to spread the word then it's fair game to push back a bit.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I don't think that's wrong at all. I feel that if somebody is old enough to have religion forced unto them, then they are old enough to think about the other side of the coin and explore disbeliefs.\r\nIf I ever have children, I'll raise them atheist. At one point in their life, when they are mature enough to actually think about it, they can decide whether they want to stick to being an atheist or take up a religion.\r\nI just think it's more wrong for the parents to force them to be religious when they're just born.", "score": 3 } ]
Foodit, please help me identify this Italian pasta dish.
I ate this at a tiny, local restaurant in Rome in November. It was reminiscent of a Carbonara, but as you can see, it has sausage (not typical of Carbonaras). My ex, who lived in Italy for 8 years, told me is was Rigatoni alla Boscaiola, but all the Boscaiola recipes I found contained mushrooms and tomato sauce (this has neither). Any suggestions for what it's called or where I can find a recipe? Here are a couple shots: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bradlauster/4113619173/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/bradlauster/4113615599/
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[ { "body": "Looks like Rigatoni alla Norcina:\n\nhttp://imgur.com/1foy2.jpg\n\nBasically the sauce is sausage and truffle cream.\n\nEdit: Cannot find the recipe in english here is a google translation:\n\nhttp://imgur.com/7mHXe.png ", "score": 5 } ]
Help with weight loss
Hi fitness. I'm looking for a bit of help with losing some weight. Right now I'm 6' and about 230lbs. I'm looking to get under 200 in the next few months. I moved a few months ago about 8.5 miles from my job and I commute by bike everyday. It's a fairly flat ride, but I do it every day. With errands, I probably bike close to 20 miles a day. I figure I'm getting enough exercise. When I began with the biking I thought that the increase in cardio coupled with my same diet (where I was staying at the same weight) would mean I would shed some pounds. This hasn't happened. I'm not exactly sure why. I guess I should perhaps hit the gym for weight training and eat better. I'm open to most advice, although I am vegetarian and I'm going to stick with that. Otherwise, I'd really appreciate any advice to help me reach my goal. Thanks guys, I appreciate the advice. I'm just about to head out of the house for my morning commute and I've packed a lunch for the first time in years. I guess the next step is to get control of my diet. I normally eat decently (no fast food, no soda, etc.) but I have very little portion control. If I buy something, I normally eat the whole thing (box, carton, etc). I think my biking should help since I really push it most of the time (I have a game on my phone that lets me race my old times).
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[ { "body": "Weight gain occurs (generally) through the slow accumulation of excess calories over a prolonged period of time, it's basically stored energy. Anyone that tells you that cardiovascular activity is useless is an idiot, the fact is that the most efficient way to reduce your body fat is to make a calorie deficit. You can of course achieve this through just changing your diet, eat less junk food, eat less and eat healthier. Including cardio in your lifestyle will help in making the calorie deficit bigger, walking 1 mile will only burn off about 70-80 calories, the reason people think cardio is useless is because it doesn't burn off hundreds and hundreds of calories in 20 minutes (nothing does), it takes time, effort and consistency. Cycling 20 miles a day is quite a lot of low intensity cardio as Raidion pointed out, it's by no means the best cardio in terms of calories burnt against the time spent, but if you coupled it with a reduction in your calorie intake you WILL lose weight.\r\n\r\nTry keeping a food diary for a week or two, make sure it is accurate and honest. Check the packaging of the food and drink you have for its calorie levels and then try and get an idea of your daily intake. There are 3500 calories in a pound of fat, so if you are making a calorie deficit of 500 per day you will lose a pound of fat every week. Your age, height and weight will determine how many calories you need in a day, the average is about 2500, take in 2000 calories a day and there is your pound of fat.\r\n\r\nIt's certainly easier said than done, but it really isn't complicated, weight loss is fairly simple science. If you can afford the time to do weight lifting then that would also help, dieting shouldn't just be about losing weight, it should be about getting into shape and becoming physically fit, you can only achieve that through activity :)", "score": 11 }, { "body": "I would say you are getting enough low intensity cardio. You have three options to use in any combination. You could eat better, that means cutting out soda and Twinkie like foods. Stick to water for drinks and non prepackaged stuff for food. You could bring in some HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) or just take the hills much harder when you aren't afraid to build up a sweat. A gym would also be helpful, as you can lift and convert some of that fat to muscle. Whey protein would probably be needed, unless you really keep on top of your protein/amino acid counts. \n\nYou probably haven't lost weight because your diet increased in volume, but not noticeably. You could just try cutting calories as the formula for weight loss is the simple \"Calories In - Calories Out = Change in Weight\"", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I'm similar so I'll tell you what I've found out. First of all, cycling doesn't do shit if you're riding over even ground. I mean, it'll maintain where you're at, but that's all. I bike about 15 miles a day and it's never helped a lick, other than getting me some sun and making me feel like I accomplished something. Keep it up, though, you'll be glad you did, if only for the maintenance. If you want to lose weight cycling, you need to do it uphill.\n\nSecond, I've been vegetarian and vegan. I weighed 160 pounds right up until I was 20 and went vegetarian for the first time. That lifestyle has a bad tendency to lead you down the path of empty carbs and worthless, fatty, highly caloric dairy. I went from 160 to 195 in less than a year being vegetarian. The second I made the choice to go vegan I dropped 30 of that. Vegan forces you to check all ingredients and takes most cheap, easy, and fast foods completely out of your diet. You leave yourself little options after certain hours, especially if you refuse to keep non-vegan foods in your house. It helps, too, that it's a moral choice, which forces your hand even more.\n\nFinally, build your upper body. Get one of those pull-up bars that doubles as a good-form push-up bar and use it every day until you're exhausted. The more muscle you have on your body, the more calories your body will burn while at rest. Plus, push-ups, pull-ups, and dips are not bad cardio. Better than flat-level cycling, I'd say.\n\nBest of luck to you, friend. Oh, one more thing. Never make a fuck-up a give-up. Just because you didn't exercise and ate two large cheese pizzas to yourself last week doesn't mean you shouldn't eat right and exercise this week. Determination. Momentum. Refusal to give up. You'll get there.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Well listen man, if you are eating the same and you added biking with out weight loss the problem is not with how much you move, but with the food that you eat.\n\nI highly recommend looking at the paleo diet, so far it has been working for me. I was in the same place, i worked out, but never saw any results. Then i switched to the paleo diet and in the first month lost close to 10 pounds. then the holidays came and it all went to shit, but none the less. Right now i am getting back into swing of things and i have already recovered from the week of vacation at the end of last year.", "score": 3 } ]
What's your favorite made up word?
mines Mockets. False pockets that serve no other purpose than to cause annoyance. edit: please include a definition if you have one so we know what you're talking about
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[ { "body": "[Alany](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=alany). Drop it into conversation sometimes.", "score": 63 }, { "body": "Proboobility - N. - The odds of seeing boobs.\n\n\"Will I enjoy this movie? It's highly probooble!\"\n\nSee also: stitistics", "score": 44 }, { "body": "i actually hate made up words because usually there's an actual word with the same definition. but, with that said, my kids routinely crack me up with their approximations of words they're learning. a few examples:\n\n- construction = action\n- exercising = action sizing\n- periscope* = pirate scope\n- sledding = sliding\n- backing up = beeping up (think commercial truck)\n\none of my nephews calls patio umbrellas 'sunbrellas'.\n\n[*edit - spelling all suck-ass]", "score": 26 }, { "body": "Preponed. Opposite of postponed. Way more easier than saying \"The appointment has been scheduled to take place earlier than originally planned.\" \n\nAlso, 'automagically'. Damn useful in explaining how a comp fixes itself after a reboot.", "score": 19 }, { "body": "Robotics - From the Czech word *robota*, meaning *to work. A study of machines that do work. Originally coined by Isaac Asimov in his short story collection \"I, Robot\".", "score": 8 }, { "body": "Vomitose: The state of feeling like one must vomit. (Coined by my pregnant wife.)\n\n\"Eeeeehhhhhhh, I'm feeling vomitose.\"", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Snard: the grey brownish ice/snow chunk that adheres to your car's mudflap and/or bottom of car frame in the winter.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "These are all reminiscent of [Rich Hall's](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rich_Hall) creation, [Sniglets](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sniglet): \"A word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.\" Does anyone remember seeing these?\n", "score": 3 } ]
I want to break up with my boyfriend, but don't want to be alone.
I am not happy in my relationship anymore. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. However, we fight way too often and I'm ready to move on. However, I am scared to break up with him because I don't want to be alone. I know this sounds pathetic, but I really don't have any friends anymore because we are together all the time.
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[ { "body": "I thought the same thing with a girl I dated in high school and college for about 3-4 years. I really had no other friends because I only hung out with her. I stayed with her for about a year and a half longer than I should have. Eventually we broke up and within a month I had new friends. A few months later I had a new girlfriend who I was much happier with.\n\nIf you're unhappy in the relationship, end it. You may think that you will have a hard time making new friends, or have a hard time finding a new boyfriend, but you will not. It will all fall into place. I completely regret staying in an unhappy relationship for as long as I did.", "score": 7 } ]
I Will Knot! (A site focused on teaching the basics of the most common knots)
I suggest the figure 8, two half-hitches, slip-knot, bowline, and fisherman's knot. The link didn't go through for some reason...http://www.iwillknot.com/
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[ { "body": "I don't see a link? Your headline just takes me to this comment section. I'm in a bit of a hurry, I have a heavy object I need to anchor down.", "score": 3 } ]
I've just swallowed some gum! Help!
If it helps, it was Hubba Bubba Max strawberry/watermelon flavor. How should I handle the situation?! OH GOD, I'M GETTING DIZZY!
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[ { "body": "preform quick gum remove surgery. I'll walk you through it.\n\n1. knock your self unconcious\n2. gently cut open your chest. Don't make the incision any more than 6 inches.\n3. Jam your hands into the hole and feel around till you find your stomach. (your stomach will feel like a big water balloon full of acid and gum.\n4. get another incision in your stomach\n5. retrieve gum\n6. return gum to your mouth. ", "score": 6 } ]
"The task which Christ began but did not finish, I will complete" - Adolf Hitler, December 1926
Hitler gave this talk to a full house filled with Catholics. Here's the full quote: The birth of the man which is celebrated at Christmas has the greatest significance for national socialists (Nazis). Christ has been the greatest pioneer against the Jewish world enemy. Christ was the greatest fighting nature which has ever lived on the earth. The struggle against the power of capital was his life's work and his teaching for which he was nailed to the cross by his arch enemy - the Jew. The task which Christ began but did not finish - I will complete. Adolf Hitler Munich, December 1926: Hitler and the Holocaust Robert S Wistrich
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[ { "body": "In case anyone misunderstands: this is not to say that Christianity or religion or whatever had anything to do with the Holocaust, we're not blaming anyone, this is just meant to counter the (very common) argument that says Hitler was an atheist and therefore atheists have no morals.", "score": 15 }, { "body": "All future regurgitations of this topic, and indeed this one, should be sent to [blackstar9000](http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/an30n/so_i_was_having_a_debate_with_a_christian_i_mean/c0ig58j)...", "score": 3 } ]
The US could use more people doing more things like this.
(Sorry in advance for the unusually long post, Reddit) It is 10:58pm, two minutes before we are supposed to close. I woke up at 8am on five hours of sleep, and I'm dead tired. As usual, there's a delivery to be made at the last minute. Fortunately, the customer isn't too far from Pizza Hut. After the short drive, I park the car on the other side of Main Street, open the door, grab the pizza and Pepsi, and get out. It isn't long before my hands sting lightly from the Iowan winter cold, and I wait for the cars to pass before stepping across the street in my over-sized boots, only kept on by a shoe string tied at the top. I step inside the door, check the apartment number printed on the receipt, and start walking up the flight of stairs. After finding the right apartment, I knock on the door, and a familiar face answers it, someone I'd gone to high school with, and who used to ride the same bus as I did. Infact, I think he gave me (and some friends of his) nutter butters once, but I'm not exactly sure. "Hey, how's it going?" I ask him, repeating the same line I use for most customers, with a hint of familiarity added to my voice. "Oh, pretty good." "Alright, here's the pop... and it'll be $10.97." (Inaccurate price, just go with it) He shuffles around in his wallet for a slightly prolonged period, as if looking for something, though he seemed to have more than enough to cover the bill. He pulled out a ten and a few ones, and handed them over. "There you are, fifteen. Sorry to have you come out so late, I know you guys close at eleven." He said with sincerety. About a four dollars extra, double what most people would tip. "Hey, it's alright, thanks and have a good night." "You too." I turned and started walking back down the stairs, fingering through the money to make sure it was indeed fifteen. The bills were one, one, one, one hundred, one, one, ten. Wait a minute, ONE HUNDRED!? Instantly, my heart quickened and my mind raced thinking of possibilities. I'm a college student who is very tight with his money, with a big concert I want to attend and the 3rd anniversary with my girlfriend coming up next two weeks, and I've been working a lot to try and afford something good for both. "I could use the hundred dollars for either of those," my mind tells me. I cross the street and open the car door, thinking about how I could hide the tip, not brag about it or mention it to anyone for risk of the person finding out, and get away with it scotch-free. Then I remembered. Two nights ago, I counted out change to a customer, and gave him ten dollars too much. I counted it out loud, but had the wrong number in my head, and he had to have seen my mistake and not mentioned anything. When I found out after returning to the store to head home, I was terribly depressed. Meagar as it might seem, that ten dollars and the fact that he didn't mention anything ruined my night. And so, I decided, I wasn't going to be like that guy. I wasn't going to ruin someone's night, heck, probably someone's month, by keeping that one-hundred dollar bill. But do you know how hard it is to just give someone a hundred dollars back? I take a deep breath, close my car door, turn around, and start walking back to his apartment. When he answered the door I said: "You handed me a hundred dollar bill." "Oh my fucking god." He gasped, and took the hundred, shuffling through his wallet as if he didn't believe it was gone. "Have a good night." I said after a second of silence, turning to walk down the steps and back to my car. "Yeah, thanks man." He said behind me. I didn't give him the money because God might send me to hell if I didn't, I don't believe in God nor hell. I didn't give him the money because karma might give it back, I don't believe in karma either. I'm also not telling you this because I want you to think good of me. I'm not a selfless person, and I don't want you to think of me that way. I didn't write this because I'm naturally generous, or giving, or thoughtful. That's not why I wrote this for you. I am none of these things. I am just a man, doing his job, living his life, just like you. I am just like you. I wrote this because there are too many people in this country who wouldn't give that money back. There are too many people who would keep it for themselves, only thinking of what they could do with it, not what he will have to do without it. There are too many greedy people in this nation, and it's leading us down the drain. Our economy is a shit-can because there are upper management in banks making more money in their bonus than the bank makes in profit, and things like that happen all over the place. The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer. I wrote this note in hopes that you, and the people you tell about this, won't be like them. I wrote this note in hopes that you will give that money back. Pay it forward, America needs it. ~AwakePlace PS: Thanks for the nutter-butter. Edit: This probably shouldn't be in politics, but it had a political theme to it. -shrug-
9
[ { "body": "I was busing tables at a restaurant in high school and found a wad of cash behind a table one evening. Immediately realizing how depressed I would be if I lost a huge wad of money I went straight to my manager and told her what I'd found. She said she'd put it in an envelope in the safe and if no one claimed it in a month I could keep it. Turns out it was $142 (which I didn't know at the time because I didn't count it, just saw it was over $100) and I got to keep it in a month.", "score": 3 } ]
After the recent shitstorm, I have removed LuckyBdx4 as a moderator.
It has been brought to my attention that there have been some uncalled for comments from him. Not just with _that_ post, (you know the one I'm talking about) but with others that have been un-moderator like. Just thought you would like to know.
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[ { "body": "FWIW, (with apologies to LuckyBdx4) I agree with him being removed as moderator.\n\nLuckyBdx4 meant well, but some of his comments, and the way he went about this whole issue wasn't right.", "score": 28 }, { "body": "I hope that luckybdx4 guy doesn't take it too personally. He's one of the most active contributors on this board, it would suck to see him leave on account of injured pride. I don't think I've often agreed with him, but a board full of people I agree with would be boring.\n", "score": 24 }, { "body": "Shit, I just submitted 30 seconds after you a thread that asked for mod feedback towards that...just deleted it, no need.\n\nDamn you andrewinmelbourne, when ever you run for politics (and have I signed you up for the PPA yet?) you'll always have my vote.\n\n+100. Epic win.", "score": 11 }, { "body": "Excellent news. Although I disagree with him often, he's a great guy - he just let being a mod get to his head. Not the first time it's happened. I'm just glad this isn't turning into a massive conflict.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Very good decision and Resubscribed. Never let anyone ban someone from a subreddit or anywhere else for that matter. It stinks of Conroy and hypocrisy to me.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I think the problem was, that when all you have is a (ban)hammer your problems all tend to look like nails...", "score": 3 } ]
Anybody else use the Shotgun attachment in MW2?
I just recently started using the shotgun attachment for my M4A1 and I LOVE IT. It is pretty damn good. Especially if your playing headquarters. I have been using M4A1 w/ shotty attachment AT4 Scavenger stopping power and steady aim It does wonders for HQpro anybody else use something similar with good results
3
[ { "body": "I'm pretty anti-shotgun. If I feel like noobing it up I'll run around with the grenade launcher, thumper, semtex, scavenger, and danger close. People really, really hate me when I do that.", "score": 3 } ]
Coming to visit Seattle for a weekend. Wanna help a tourist not feel so touristy?
Where do I eat and what do I check out? I'm vegetarian, but any restaurant and other suggestions will be appreciated. I'm looking at potentially moving to Seattle when I'm done with school, and I've never been (except for driving though on my way to Alaska). I have high hopes. I remember being stunned at the mountains in the distance. Any help appreciated. Thanks.
12
[ { "body": "If you're avoiding being touristy, avoid Pike Place Market... except it's also awesome and filled with real Seattlites, so do go to Pike Place Market.\n\nJust don't take pictures of the flying fish.\n\nThe mountains in the distance aren't really that distant. You say weekend.. if that includes Friday - Sunday or more, I'd highly recommend driving out to Mt Rainier (though it's better in the spring/summer for sight seeing). It's only about 2 hours from Seattle. \n\nThere's also Leavenworth in a more Easterly direction to the Cascades about 2 hours outside Seattle on Highway 2, which is a Bavarian-style town. The entire main drag is Bavarian old-style buildings and they have Summer, Fall and Winter celebrations, all day every day.\n\nI'd also recommend checking out Gasworks Park... it's a real park, and not many tourists see it. There will be Seattlites there (especially on sunny days), and it's WAY cool. Especially if you like Steampunk.\n\nAnd when in Rome... in Seattle, you gotta try eating [Dicks](http://www.ddir.com/About_Us.html) at least once. (Yes, the pun was intentional >:3)\n\nIt's the preferred post-nightclub meal of any self-respecting nightowl.\n\nAnd I don't know about strictly vegetarian foods (I know there's [Cafe Flora](http://www.cafeflora.com/) on Madison) but there's an INCREDIBLE whole in the wall [Indian place](http://www.tasteofindiaseattle.com/intro.html) on Roosevelt further north.\n\nBest Indian I've ever tried. If you're on a schedule, DON'T go on Friday (or probably Saturday) any time after 5PM. The line literally goes around the block. Early dinners or Sundays are usually fine though, but I usually go earlier in the week (Tuesday/Thursday isn't usually a problem).", "score": 10 }, { "body": "Definitely avoid the Space Needle, unfortunately it has become a tourist trap. If you'd like to see Seattle from up high I'd look at the Columbia Tower. I've never been up there myself, but that's simply because I haven't gotten around to it yet.\n\nhttp://www.seattlepi.com/visitorsguide/entry.asp?ID=12\n\nIf the weather were warmer I'd suggest going kayaking, or taking a trip over to the Olympic peninsula.\n\nAs for finding good food, it seems as if you don't even have to try in this city. I'm not familiar with what restaurants are vegetarian-friendly though (seeing as I never bother to remember myself). I'd imagine nearly all of them are.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "You might also want to check out Seattle's Underground tour http://www.undergroundtour.com/\n\nIt's a little touristy but not well known. There's a whole old city underground that you get to check out and see the people on the main streets walking above you through glass ceilings. You'll get to hear the history of the city as well.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I hear that [Plum](http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/allyoucaneat/2009534053_post_5.html) on Capitol Hill is the best vegetarian restaurant in the state.\n\nIf you're here on a Sunday, check out the Fremont Farmer's Market.\n\nIf you want to go where the tourists don't, take a ferry to Bainbridge Island and explore.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "http://www.yelp.com/biz/araya-vegetarian-place-seattle\n\nWhat are you interested in doing? Coffee? Music? Walking around sightseeing and shopping?", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Check out the neighbourhoods - all easily accessible by bus - Capitol Hill, Fremont, Ballard and West Seattle. This will give you a taste of what it's like to actually live in the city and the different \"flavours\" of each of them.\n\nThey all have great restaurants, independent shops, art, bars, live music. I came here for the first time in 2007 and made the move in 2008 (from Edinburgh, Scotland) - love this city!", "score": 3 } ]
Reddit: What are your best sex tricks?
I'm between sex partners right now, but I want to learn standing up and holding a woman's legs up with my arms. Do you guys have any impressive things you've learned to do in bed?
31
[ { "body": "Okay, so I get behind the girl and start going at her from behind near the window of my second story apartment. While she is too busy enjoying herself, my friend sneaks out from his hiding place in my closet and we quickly switch places. That's when I grab my clothes, sneak out, run down to the street stand right outside of the window and wave at her. Tricks 'em every time. ", "score": 78 }, { "body": "I just lay there like a dead fish and let her do all the work.\n\nIf she asks \"What are you doing?\"... I just say \"What? I learned that from you.\" Then she doubles her efforts.", "score": 55 }, { "body": "I have many.\n\nTo start things up, go to the bathroom. Come out with your pants unzipped and your penis coming out the hole. She will laugh uproariously, and then fellate you.\n\nOnce you've moved to the bedroom, or wherever it is you make whoopie, disrobe her with your teeth. Many try to do this in a sensual manner, teasing gently. This wastes precious time. Instead, try to bite off thinner fabric with your incisors. When confronted with denim, remove manually. If buttons are the problem, they can also be bitten. Takes practice.\n\nWhile in the heat of passion, loudly ask, \"Do you like that? Am I turning you on? Who's your daddy?\" Various other iterations of these questions are acceptable. Use of the word \"baby\" is encouraged.\n\nIf you're a gentleman like me and you want to make sure your lady partner is finished before you have a crescendo of your own, be sure to tell her so. Sometimes I get carried away and I think I'll finish before her, so I inform her that \"if you don't hurry up, I'm going to cum in your asscrack again.\" Women don't enjoy that sensation. This prompts them to finish.\n\nSide note: Many inexperienced people seek to cook bacon at high heat. It's much better to let it fry at low heats, cooking in its own grease. This may take as much as thirty minutes. If you're anything like me, you should begin to prepare bacon before engaging the unzipped-pants maneuver. Then you only have a fifteen minute wait when you're done.", "score": 33 }, { "body": "Like all tricks, this only works for some girls. But if you're trying to be extra sensual, and your girl likes when you use your fingers (which are seriously underrated, learn how to use them!), and she likes direct clitoral stimulation (again, not all girls like this, you have to test it), and if she's reasonably worked up already, try rubbing it to where your fingers *barely* touch it. I mean, to where you can barely tell you are touching it yourself. The extremely light touch might translate into extremely sensitive tickling that sends her off (or it might bore her, you have to remember to focus on her more than anything).\n\nIn fact, the best sex trick I can ever say is pay attention to your girl.", "score": 27 }, { "body": "The Improvised Cock Ring.\r\nTake a ribbon or shoelace (clean) or similar.\r\nTie around your the base of your junk (cock and balls).\r\nOnly hand tight mind.\r\n\r\nThe penis works by hydraulics - blood goes in thru blood vessels in the centre, blood leaves by vessels in the circumference.\r\n\r\nBy slowing the blood leaving your winkie, more stays in!!\r\n\r\nThis really works. It will give you ( I promise) about a 10-20% increase in all dimensions, the veins stick out like the moulding on a dildo and basically you can forget about having to concentrate on keeping it up.\r\nIt just stays up and ready like a flagstaff.\r\n\r\nAlso works when having those little difficulties maintaining wood due to alcohol, drugs, emotional insecurities or ugly women.\r\n\r\nHighly recommended.\r\n\r\nedit; obviously if it starts to hurt, turn blue/grey or falls off its time to untie it ;)", "score": 13 }, { "body": "While she's giving you a blow job, keep on hitting her in the head until she gets knocked out.\n\n\"broken clock\"", "score": 7 }, { "body": "I think I read this on Nerve or somewhere similar:\n\nTake the nipple between the second sections of your index and middle finger, just like you'd grab the pull-start cable of a lawn mower.\nDon't add a lot of pressure (Unless he/she likes that) and then with the thumb, gently rub the tip of the nipple that protrudes from between those fingers.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I try to stimulate as many different parts of her as I can. At the same time.\n\nHell, you have a mouth, two hands *AND* your penis. It doesn't require a lot of creativity.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "The most impressive thing you can do is fix her breakfast the morning after. Or at least that's the most impressive thing I can do. Apparently.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "She'll be on top and after a while, without giving her any notice, I'll pick her up and put her on her back, all without pulling out. They like it when you take control like that. Make it seem spontaneous and you'll probably make her squirt. Tell her elmariachi taught you that one.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "> I want to learn standing up and holding a woman's legs up with my arms.\n\nI'm afraid you need to have a sex partner for that bro.. or at least some sort of a partner. ", "score": 3 } ]
Is there anyone that flies RC Helicopters/Planes for a hobby that can help a new person to the hobby?
Alright so I'm wanting to get into RC Helicopters/Planes and I'm not sure where exactly to start. I've looked at prices but i see 2, 4, and 6 channel, 2.4GHz and Brushless motors and etc but no idea what exactly I should be looking for. I assume Brushless is better (not sure why), why so many channels, etc. Please help!
28
[ { "body": "A real RC heli starts from 4 ch. !!!! \n\n\nMy first tip to you is.. get a Simulator... I would reccomend RealFlight G4. \n\n\nThat will save you money and will really help you get the orientation down... \n\n\n\nIf you have NEVER flown an RC helicopter before I would reccomend you to buy the Esky LAMA, Its a dual rotor heli.. Very good and forgiving for a begginer. You can get it very cheap from chinese websites and its a RTF (ready to fly, that means it comes with everything included inc. trasmitter ) package. it is a 4 chanel helicopter. After you get used to flying and repairing, yes you will be repairing ALOT. You can go to a fixed pitch heli. Again i would reccomend something cheap and chinese for a started like the Esky Honey Bee.\n\n\n\nAfter you get comfortable with these you can start investing in good trasmiter and good heli. \n\nA couple of things to keep in mind.... you will be flying 10% of the time and repairing 90%.... \n\nYou will crash... Alot... But it is fun... \n\nIf you have anyother questions PM me. \n\nI will edit this more with more info.. I am a bit in a hurry now :) Sorry for typos and grammar! ", "score": 7 }, { "body": "get a 2.4 GHz transmitter, depends on what you want to fly. good starting place is 6 channels. I prefer JR stuff , but really futaba, JR, spektrum, hitech those are the good ones... airtronic is ok. check out ebay for a deal. go to your local AMA field to meet others that like to fly rc. \n\nalso to learn planes and helis best to get a simulator that you can plug your TX into so you can practice without have to buy or fix your model everytime you crash. sims are not perfect but they help get your thumbs. \n\nthere is a big difference between helis and planes. planes are easier to start with but really nothing like helis. I know both but it took a while to learn. \n\nthis is the most active rc forum that I have found. has everything from helis to planes. http://www.rcgroups.com\n\nfor helis this seems to be most active: http://www.helifreak.com/\n\nwhen buying your first plane (start with planes unless you really want to fly heli) buy a foam model first. they can usually take a crash without needing too much repair. \n\ngoodluck and have fun.", "score": 3 } ]
A thought - the advent of widespread HD television adoption will lead to a resurgence in Hockey popularity in the US
Here's something that I've been thinking on. During the standard def era, it was incredibly hard to follow the puck on television, as it was this little fuzzy speck. Now that high def TV is standard, watching hockey is way more pleasant. You can follow the play on TV about as easily as you can if you actually attend the match. The sport itself is awesome for a spectator, once you can follow what's going on. Just over winter break I introduced three or four people to the game, and they've all really enjoyed it. It's super fast, flashy, and you can fight people, what more could you want :P. I dunno, maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part, but I hope it isn't. What are all your thoughts on the future of hockey popularity?
7
[ { "body": "I just bought a new tv and upgraded to HD. Watched the Pens-Flyers game last week, and was blown away by how it looked.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "It is a good thought, and it's already been discussed quite a bit. There's more than a few articles already by American writers about HD's influence on Americans watching hockey. You should google the subject and read their thoughts on it. \n\nThe advent of HD, plus the NBA's atrocious, and still declining, attendance numbers actually make me think hockey will surpass its popularity in the United States, at least as a spectator sport, over the next five to ten years.", "score": 3 } ]
I've always had bad luck with houseplants, but I'd like to grow some herbs (the legal kind) in my kitchen. I need some advice. (More detail in text.)
I live in Southern California, and I have a corner in my kitchen with windows facing West and North. I've heard that thyme and rosemary are very hardy herbs and easy to grow. Is this true? I'd also be interested in growing herbs like sage and chives. Should I start with seeds, or with cuttings? Do I need any special soil? (Cost is a factor; I have some small pots, but I don't think I can afford anything like grow-lights.) I posted this in /r/food, but got downvoted; I guess they considered it purely a gardening issue. I'll happily shower praise and karma points on anyone who has good advice to offer.
9
[ { "body": "Herbs are fairly easy to grow if you follow a few simple rules. I would use the Western facing window, as that will likely give the plants more light. Make sure that ALL of your planters have drainage holes. If they don't, put a layer of small rocks at the bottom of the pot. This will help keep the roots from staying wet, which could cause rot. \n\nYou could most definitely start them from seed. I would either use an organic seed starting mixture, or if it's cheaper just use organic soil mixed with some perlite. Plain soil will make it too dense, and the tiny roots will have a harder time growing. \n\nMake sure not to over water, this is generally a problem with people who don't have a lot of experience with plants. Generally if the leaves are yellowing, this means that the plants have too much water.\n\nAnd finally, don't give up! Sometimes it just takes practice, and you'll learn as you go. Even the best gardeners can kill plants :) Good luck!\n\nEDIT: I forgot to mention that one common problem with seedlings is that they get too tall and become top heavy. You could potentially plant them a little deeper at this point, or pinch them off above the first couple sets of leaves and they will start growing out rather than up.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Most everything has been covered by other posters. I'll just add ... when the plants eventually go to seed, save some in envelopes (marked) so you never have to buy more.\n\nAlso, you can prolly bang together a simple window box for outside a kitchen window with a hammer, nails and a few pieces of wood. If it's outside a kitchen window you can just open it, reach out and cut what you need with scissors when you're cooking. - That's for SoCal obviously, where it doesn't snow.\n", "score": 3 } ]
IAMA spacecraft systems engineer for the Air Force and NASA...
I've been working spacecraft design projects for around 10 years for the US Air Force and NASA. Anything I can't answer won't be, but I'll answer what I can. AMA.
43
[ { "body": "You are in a very interesting field and I wonder why an IAmA like this doesn't get many up votes or comments, yet the IAmA about a hermit living alone for 6 years is like a karma orgy.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "What is your opinion on http://www.ted.com/talks/burt_rutan_sees_the_future_of_space.html\n\nWhere do you see ourselves 50 years from now in terms of space exploration?", "score": 3 }, { "body": "What is your major?\n\nWould a mechanical engineer be able to get your job?\n\nHow much pussy do you pull?", "score": 3 } ]
Hey Reddit! What was the incident, action, place or thing that made you realize that you were finally an adult?
I was asked this question sometime back and I have to say I was quite taken aback by it. Maybe it has been posted on here before, if so, my apologies. However, it is a very interesting question and I thought I would see what people's responses were. To answer my own post: I realized I was an adult when I just turned 18. I had just moved into my own crappy little house and after moving furniture in, I plopped down on the couch. It was there in silence and with my tasks completed and a wry sense of accomplishment, that I realized I was the one in control of my life and responsible for whether I eat or starve. Have a good one all!
16
[ { "body": "I'm a 38-year-old married homeowner with kids in school and no surviving parents, and I still feel like a kid who managed to sneak into the grownups party and is nervously looking around for someone to notice and send me back to bed.", "score": 22 }, { "body": "I had just returned back from a camping trip with my class in my final year of school. On that day I had just turned 17. The trip back to school was a long, tiresome one. We had such an adventure away. Fishing, hiking, making fires, eating tinned beef, sipping hot chocolate, singing Kumbaya, playing Uno, masturbating one another, canoeing, canoodling, you know, *boy's stuff*. Eventually got back to the school premises for our parents to pick us up, we had arrived earlier than expected. I went to the school lavatories to release some cock juice. At the urinal, I found myself thinking about gay sex. I've never wanted to have sex with a man before, and I haven't but sometimes *I think about gay sex*. I heard the squeak of the bathroom doors being opened and the light from the outside came flooding in. Standing in the entrance was Miss. Griffiths, our teacher and camp master. She came walking towards me. \"Pissing, Frank?\" she asked, somewhat disgusted. I didn't know what to say. \"Yes ma'am.\" I replied. \"Well, you little runt. It's your birthday. When you've stopped pissing, let me touch you.\" On that day, I became a man. ", "score": 7 }, { "body": "When I read a newspaper article that started with \"A 19 year old man was....\". I was 23 then and I realized.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I signed a couple of sheets of paper and they gave me a motherfucking house. *A house!* Most expensive thing I owned before that was my shit-kicked PC.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I didn't feel like an adult when I turned 18, or 21, or when I joined the military, or when I got married. It was when I felt my unborn child moving inside of my wife. I felt like an adult, and a father.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "When my father cut my credit cards in to with a pair of scissors and said, \"You are now officially on your own.\"\n\nEven though I'd rarely used them, it was still a grand symbolic gesture that put some fear and anxiety about the future into my heart. Plus, it was sad to me because it kind of meant that my childhood was officially over.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "It had to have been, when my girlfriend of 1,5 years, who I lived with, broke up with me and I moved out of her apartment.\nI then proceeded to get drunk as fuck and sit and think - \nthe thought that finally crossed my mind and stuck with me was, that no matter what happens, I can only rely on myself.\nIt was a scary thought and still is to this day, but it made me realize that I am now independent and an adult.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "The day I talked my aunt out of killing herself, helped the cops track down her violent and abusive daughter, visited my mother at the hospital where she was recovering from being run over by her niece's car, and took care of dinner for my younger brother and sister.\n\nThat is when I date it, even if I was 15 at the time.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "30 and still don't feel like an 'adult'. Lived independently overseas for numerous years, encountered different adult things like pregnancy (but no kids). Spent a year or so travelling solo on my bike through countries including Albania and Valencia.... but no, still feel way to immature to be an adult. However I do notice I do do adult like things, like enjoy reading the newspaper and not just the comics.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "[xkcd did it!](http://xkcd.com/616/) [repeatedly](http://xkcd.com/150/) and [again](http://xkcd.com/219/)", "score": 3 } ]
Its Only A Movie People
I have seen an immense amount of controversy surrounding the movie Avatar. From people protesting the movie because there were no transgendered characters, to it being a message about environmental destruction/global warming, to people becoming depressed because no world will ever be as "beautiful" as Pandora, and now people are claiming the film is racist, because the white man (although embodied in the Avatar itself) saves the savages from certain destruction. Granted some films do have underlying messages, but sometimes a movie is just a movie. Part of the reason the film is under so much scrutiny can be attributed to the fact that it has made so much money, but still the amount of people complaining about this movie is ridiculous.
5
[ { "body": "People lead such empty boring lives that they will find controversy in anything just to give them something to think about other than their pointless vapid lives. That and people have such thin skin now days that if you say or do anything they'll find something wrong with it. ", "score": 4 } ]
Any suggestions on decent, inexpensive wines?
I do enjoy a nice glass of wine from time to time, but there are times that I would just like a drinkable glass of wine without having to open a $10-20 bottle, so I am looking for suggestions. I'm an Oregonian so I prefer NW wines, and both me and my wife tend to prefer reds. We are also not entirely opposed to box wines, provided that the contents of the box are decent. To be honest, I kinda like the idea of box wine, being able to pour a single serving without having to oxidize a whole bottle, but I am dismayed at the quality of all of the box wine I have ever tried. Anyways, I am open to suggestions.
10
[ { "body": "Have you tried Yellow Tail? They're not my favorite wines, but not bad for $6-7. The Cabernet-Shiraz blend is pretty tasty.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "there are a few regions that are really pretty cheap right now. in particular south africa, and i believe portugal are value priced at the moment. \n\npick up a south african cabernet or malbec. \n\nexcelsior has a great south african cabernet (2007) that i picked up a few bottles of at costco recently for 6 bucks a bottle. sonoma county has some cheap stuff as well.\n\npick up a vacu vin or similar gadget and your wine will keep for several days, maybe even a couple of weeks. \n\ndrink it!", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Trader Joe's is THE place to go, if you have one near you. \n\nHere's a quote from wiki: \n> We built Trader Joe's on wine first, then food. I tasted 100,000 wines, and most weren't wonderful. They were submitted to us by desperate vintners.\n\nOf the 100,000 they tasted, they were able to find several that were beyond palatable, and because the vintners were desperate, they are able to offer them at a much lower price. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I don't see it mentioned on here, so I feel compelled to offer you Cycles Gladiator Cabernet. Maybe because it's one of the first cabs that I have had, but I love the stuff. It's usually around $7-8 a bottle, has some nice, smoky notes to it... yum. [Enjoy](http://www.hahnfamilywines.com/brands.asp?BrandID=14).", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I'm extremely fond of Fetzer's Gewurtraminer...it's probably my favorite wine under $10 (and I, like you, typically prefer reds). I can usually find it for $6-7. I haven't tried their other varietals, but I've heard good things about most of them, and they have quite a few to choose from. They also do their part to be earth-friendly about their business, which is groovy and super-cool.\n\n\n\n\n", "score": 3 } ]
A feminist awakening to the perils of sexual harassment among low income women
Low income women are frequent targets of sexual harassment, and far too often are unable to escape or remedy these exploitive situations. My awakening to the challenges of modern feminism effectively began with this realization, and with hearing the stories of a woman who had faced a lot of hardship over the course of her life; hardships which left her with very few resources, and very few opportunities. I met her while I was staying at a friend's house for a time. I'll call her "S" for the purposes of divulging this story. She was being paid to care for my friend's animals, and so she and I were able to talk on several occasions. I mentioned to her that I was looking for a place to live part-time in the city, and she informed me that her apartment complex boasted the lowest rent in the city limits. I went to meet with her landlord, hoping to arrange a deal for an apartment. From the moment I entered his office he seemed very eager to talk to me. He mentioned that his wife had recently passed away, so I figured that was why. After a long time talking about this, that, and the other thing, he made a very strange remark about my hair, and then about me in general, in essence saying that he had never really wanted to marry his wife and would have rather married somebody like me. He had to have been at least, say, in his late 50's and here he was telling this to me, and I am in my mid 20's! Then it dawned on me that the whole time we had been talking he had been hinting at his attraction to me, but I hadn't picked up on it until that point. After this realization hit me I got out of there as quickly as possible, and the guy actually followed me out the door, asking me to come back and talk even as I was getting in my car. I drove back to my friend's house where I met S later that evening, and I told her about what had happened to me. "Oh yeah, he's very inappropriate," she told me, and I let her know that his remarks at the end of our conversation had been a deal-breaker for me, as far as my living at his complex. She asked me, "Ah, so you can afford not to live with that?" I was a little taken aback. I had never thought of it that way before, and I wondered had she known that I was not too strapped for cash if she would have still recommended I try to live there. Apparently her landlord behaved inappropriately toward her all the time, even asking her if she wanted to "have a little fun" on occasions when he came over to fix things. She put up with it because she could not afford to live anywhere else in the city, she told me that she had put up with similar relationships throughout most of her life, giving me an overview of some of the jobs she had worked: Construction, mining, waitressing, and others all had her situated with men who sexually harassed her, to my astonishment, fairly regularly. At one of her waitressing jobs a cook would constantly touch her and hug her on the job, and when she brought it up to the other staff they thought she was ridiculous for letting it bother her. Heaven forbid she ask it to stop or anything. It turns out that this cook she was having a problem with also happened to be a drinker and, somehow, knew where she lived. One night he got drunk, actually broke down her door, and then almost forced himself on her. When she complained about this, she was the one who was fired because the restaurant would have an easier time finding a waitress than finding a cook. She had to have been in her late forties, almost fifty. She didn't tell me her age. I didn't ask, but I got a sense of it from the life stories she told me. She was born to parents who followed a really strict religion, and from what I gathered they were pretty emotionally abusive toward her. When she ran away, they told her that they would let the state have her because they didn't even want to pay to bury her. I guess she spent most of her teenage years in state facilities or on the street. By the time she was 30 she had been married twice, and both of her husbands had died. She really hadn't had any chance to get ahead by going to school, so she took the best paying jobs she could find, which situated her with men who behaved terribly toward her. As she was telling her story I could only sit there and think, god, how the hell would I live with that nonsense? And her question to me about being able to afford not to put up with sexual harassment really stuck with me, because at that moment it dawned on me that a lot of women are expected to put up with offensive and demeaning behavior on a daily basis just so that they can make ends meet. Literally, expected by co-workers and supervisors who would rather not put up with a harassment claim, even if their door gets broken down. If they make a noise about it, they're liable to get fired. This is the kind of oppression that arises from thinking we've done all we should do as a society to help women like S, which for too many is a tempting notion to become attached to. It would be comforting to think that, but rather than live with false comfort I wish we'd all be on the lookout for the sake of those who need looking out for.
22
[ { "body": "And, I'm not going to be mean, but really, yes, that is what it is like out there. Feminism is about fighting back, really getting active, on behalf of those women. \n\nGood for you. A lot of folk will never learn what you've learnt.", "score": 8 }, { "body": "Being a man with a woman that owns the company I work in, I'm treated like total shit and scum because I'm in the warehouse and not good enough to do any thinking inside the office. I'm paid scarcely above minimum wage for a job that has tens of thousands of injuries and hundreds of deaths every year across the country. \"The girls\" (all of which I understand are paid more) are not allowed to come out of the office into the warehouse because of how dangerous our area is. There are parties roughly once a month held in the office, to which we in the warehouse are given leftovers if even that. Literally, picked through, whatever no body else wants leftovers are shoved back to us. I can go on about this, but I just want to demonstrate the point that the door swings both ways.", "score": 4 } ]
What are the best amateur porn sites?
I really like PornHub and Tube8, but what are some other good sites? Preferably ones with lots of amateur porn, because that is my favorite by far!
41
[ { "body": "For you don't like downloading porn like myself a very good site that I've used for over a year is http://yuvutu.com", "score": 3 } ]
So my brother and his wife just got a PS3. If you were to suggest the best multiplayer game to give them to celebrate this, which would it be?
They are no hardcore gamers and this is their first console. I heard they got fifa and the lego star wars. I have a pretty bad idea of what games are out there and would be very thankful for any suggestions you might have. Heard about this co-op shooter that was supposed to be good, but would love to hear about other type of games too. How is that Littlebigplanet one? Any other ideas? Thanks!
14
[ { "body": "Little Big Planet is perfect. It's pretty casual on the surface, but there is plenty there to dive into.", "score": 48 }, { "body": "Definitely Little Big Planet! Borderlands is an fps which has local and online multiplayer which I have heard is pretty good, thought I haven't played it yet. Rainbow Six Vegas 2 is awesome in offline multiplayer, although maybe not to everyone's tastes.\n\nThere are also a load of really good multiplayer PSN games like Fat Princess, Pixel Junk Monsters (even my brother plays this with his friends and he isn't much of a gamer), Bomberman Ultra, Warhawk and quite a few more.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Uncharted 2: Awesome multiplayer w/ co-op option and amazing single player (even fun to just watch).", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I think they've got some good ones there, LittleBigPlanet and any Lego title is good.\n\nIf they're into racing, Motorstorm: Pacific Rift offers split screen racing.\n\nHaze offers split screen co-op play.\n\nMy wife and I love to play games like Tomb Raider, Drakes Fortune, etc. They're not two player games, but we just take turns with it.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Warhawk, it's really casual online shooter.\n\nI sign on if I just want to do some epic CTF or fly around.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I'm surprised this is never mentioned, but my wife and I loved to play Hot Shots Golf together. It's been out for a while now, so you can probably get it for pretty cheap.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Resistance: Fall of Man is a good co-op for inexperienced gamers - played it with my brother over the holidays and we were able to finish it in a weekend.\n\nBorderlands co-op is good. It can get kind of tedious though as you have to pay attention to who is using what kind of bullets and there are a zillion guns. It is also more of a RPG with guns than a shooter.\n\nI like Pixel Junk Monsters too on the play station network - co-op tower building game.", "score": 3 } ]
High vegetable protein meals?
Due to some liver problem, I am restricted to eating lots of vegetable proteins and carbs. Can you suggest some advice/recipe to cook some sort of "proteic bomb"? **Edit: Thanks guys, this was really helpful!**
10
[ { "body": "I make black beans and rice with vegan sausage a lot. The sausage is usually soy-based (I like Tofurkey brand) and the black beans have tons of protein. Tempeh, which is available in most health food markets, and [seitan](http://www.theppk.com/recipes/dbrecipes/index.php?RecipeID=112), which you can make yourself, are both also really high in protein. There are about a billion recipes for each one available on the internet.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Aminoplex is a rice-based protein powder. You can make yourself a protein shake with soy milk and add silken tofu, berries or chocolate (whatever is yummy to you).\nI know of another vegan protein powder that's pea-based, but I've been told it tastes disgusting. At least Aminoplex by itself is kind of vanilla-ey or nutty.\nYou can have 2 a day (I have at least 1 a day, 2 if I'm starving mid morning or afternoon). It's a convenient way to get a lot of protein in one go.\n ", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I just keep a can of beans in the fridge at all times, and add them to basically everything. I think it's great. Beans in the spaghetti, beans in the rice, beans in the veggies, beans in the soup. \n\nAnd for things that beans don't really go well with, like oatmeal, there's nuts. You can blend up nuts into an almost-powder and add them to lots of things too, good for sauces", "score": 3 } ]
Clan Leaders, Registration
So, ozfl starts soon-ish, so we should probably get registered and stuff. To do so, we need to elect leaders for each team. If you don't, I'll select by random. If you wish to be a leader, nominate yourself in the comments and mention which [team](http://rac.ryanmccue.info/players.html) you're on. Once we've elected leaders, we need to register the teams on ozfortress. In the mean time, everyone needs to sign up to ozfortress, as you have to be a member there to compete.
4
[ { "body": "I think we also need to confirm whether everybody is still interested in playing, and we have complete teams.\n\nShould do that once we decide on the team captains.", "score": 3 } ]
Annoyed about your bottle of water not being allowed on a plane? To this woman, it was a bottle of diabetes transplant cells.
This is not going to be US news because it happened far away (in Sweden, on a flight between Stockholm and Malmö), otherwise it might have been the "show the stupid" story we need. Couriers arrived at the airport carrying a case of 250 ml (8.4 US fluid ounces) of "strange fluid", but, pilot points out, the limit is 100 ml. Only this time the fluid in question was donated insulin-producing human cells, and, miles away, a woman doesn't receive her transplant. I can't find a source link in English; if you can read Swedish or want to run a google translate, see page 4 of this PDF: http://www.metro.se/se/misc/pdf/2010/01/12/SESTO_2010_01_12.pdf . The woman is fine, she's not dying but the curing of her disease has been set back, plus the donor went through it all for nothing. Doctors say the flight was routine and the airport had been informed as usual.
21
[ { "body": "**Google translation of the whole thing:**\n\n> I waited several months difficult diabetes Marie Nehagen on his cell transplant, and on Sunday\n\n> it was time. But the transplant was canceled. The pilot refused to fly the cells from Bromma to Malmö on the grounds that it could be a bomb. It is terrible. Here have donated to no avail at all. And I do not know when I can get through the next time, \"says Marie Nehagen.\n\n>It would have been the third transplant in her treatment. In four rounds to be healthy, insulation inproducerande cells transplanted, but it is sophisticated interventions. To find cells that fit is difficult, according to Olle Korsgren, physician and professor at the University Hospital in Uppsala, where the cells have been donated. He is concerned about the pilot's refusal.\n\n> -We bought the ticket and gave information to the airport in good time. We have sent cells like this for years without it being a problem. I've never heard of anything like this, said Olle Korsgren.\n\n> Olof Löfgren, press officer for Malmo Aviation, confirms that it became a grinding halt when the medical personnel were on the plane with the box.\n\n> -We took it as a security risk, he says.\n\n> But the doctors had informed that there were cells of a\ntransplant?\n\n> -Somewhere, the communication failed. We regret it all deeply. Let's explore how it could be so wrong, \"says Olof Löfgren.", "score": 5 } ]
IAmA staff member of Dark-Alex.org and was part of the group that co-ordinated Dark Alex's PSP custom firmware releases. AMA
So I've been in the scene pretty much since the first homebrew was released for the PSP. I still administer (along with our group) the Dark-Alex.org IRC server and the LAN.ST forums. Was also a writer for PSPUpdates back in its glory days and wrote some of the most popular stories and covered the biggest news ever to have happened in the PSP scene. Ask me almost anything. Latest Edit: Thank you for all the gratitude; I consider it an honour to have worked with these giants and to be appreciated for it. Edit: For verification, hop on to irc.dark-alex.org and pm me (cyanide) or join #sceners-en to talk. Thanks! Edit 2: Off to sleep, will be back in about 12-14 hours.
22
[ { "body": "No real questions, but I would like to say thanks for all the work you and your team did. Having homebrewed numerous devices, the DA work always seemed above par. I should go dig out my PSP out and play with it...", "score": 17 }, { "body": "No questions, just came in here to say THANK YOU SO DAMNED MUCH. I'd've sold my PSP ages ago were it not for the homebrew community.\n\nedit: Actually, no; I have a question: What do you think of QJ.net? I posted there regularly for a few months back in 2005, and now find myself repulsed by how bloated and stupid the place has become whenever I get bored and browse it. Anything to say about the place beyond it being the hub for PSP releases?", "score": 4 } ]
I'm getting my ears pierced this week. 2XC: How many and where?
As you might recall, I'm a transgirl. Catching up on my lost childhood here. I'm planning on getting my ears pierced this week (at a tattoo/piercing parlor in Seattle). I'm curious what the general consensus on 2XC is. My sister says get 3; 2 on lobes, one on top corner of one ear. My friend says get 4; 2 on lobes, 2 on cartilage (symmetrical). My other sister says get 6, 2 on lobes, 4 on cartilage near each other (symmetrical). I'm not sure I can handle 6 at the outset. I know I'm at least getting two (and I can always get more, right? hehe). I'm a kind of an alternative girl... not like rocker or anything, but casual just-sub-preppy style. I don't want anything too crazy (like 6 ear piercings) but I don't mind coloring outside the lines a little (3+). So what's 2XC say? How many piercings, and where? I'll try and post pics when I get it done hehe
15
[ { "body": "Please, please at least get your piercings done at an actual piercing place, and not just one of those horrible places at the mall that will shoot a dull stud through your flesh. Make sure that you go to a reputable piercer who will use a needle and go through the process and sterilization with you beforehand.\n\nThat advice given, I'd personally go for two: one in each earlobe. Earlobes are simpler to heal, and you should really learn the care process for new piercings before you try something like cartilage. I have had three cartilage piercings done (and I'm pretty experienced caring for piercings, even surface piercings) and none of them healed enough to keep them - I had to let them close up.\n\nIf you decide you want a cartilage piercing after your lobes have healed, get it done - but just one piercing at a time, and take careful care of it. Be advised - cartilage piercings hurt like a bitch, and that doesn't just end with the piercing: healing them hurts like a bitch, too, and sometime they just won't heal - period. ", "score": 27 }, { "body": "Whatever you get I'd suggest not getting more than 3 body piercings at once, it'll put a strain on your immune system and they will all take longer to heal than they would normally.\n\nAlso, please for the love of god do not be pierced with a gun, visit this page written by a piercer whom I know for all the info you need: http://ku-ku.co.uk/Gun.htm\n\nPlease be pierced with needles. I've been pierced over 20 times and about 4 of those were gunned, I do regret those, especially the cartilage ones. With what I know about them now I wouldn't ever get a gunned piercing again, even if someone paid me to do it.\n\nI'd suggest starting off with 2, especially if they're going to be cartilage ones as cartilage can take up to a year or more to fully heal and you really don't want too many of those healing at once, it'll take forever. \n\nIf you want more give them at least about 3-4 months in between to give them some time to start to heal.\n\nDon't use any harsh chemical solution they give you and DO NOT twist any jewellery - you'll just be tearing the fistula (the skin inside the hole) and causing scar tissue and prolonging healing. Only use Sea Salt Soaks, they are very natural for your body and are good because you can soak the piercing entirely without removing jewellery. You'll need to use organic sea salt as table salt has impurities in it which won't do the piercing any good.\n\nFor a sea salt soak: Mix 1/8 or 1/4 of a teaspoon of sea salt in to a mug of kettle boiled water, leave it to cool so that it doesn't burn you but have it warm and simply soak your ear in the solution. Rinse away any excess salt afterwards. Keep this is up twice a day for about 3 months then cut down to once a day.\n\nEdit: Also, the signs of an infection will include pain, swelling and redness, it will feel hot to the touch and will leak a darker yellow-green pus. Do not remove the jewellery as this can potentially trap the infection and cause an abscess or cyst. You'll need antibiotics from the doctor.\nIf the piercing leaks a clear-pale yellow fluid, this is lymph and it's fine, it's a component of blood and is natural to healing and is just getting all the bacteria out of it.\n\nBe pierced with titanium, and be pierced with bars. Labret studs preferably as these move around much less than rings and won't drag bacteria into the piercing and cause pain and could lead to infection. \nKeep any cosmetics away from them and loose hair etc.", "score": 12 }, { "body": "As was mentioned, a good piercer will keep you informed of what they are doing before, during and after the procedure and give you information about sterilization & aftercare. Do not be afraid to ask any questions because an infected piercing (especially one in the cartilage) can be F-ING HORRIBLE and lead to such gross things as \"ear-collapse\" and keloid scarring, both of which suck.\n\nThe lobes are definitely standard and don't hurt too bad so long as I can remember. \n\nMaybe you would be willing to consider a more \"funky\" cartilage piercing? I have a rook piercing and there were a lot of perks - it healed nicely, quickly and was far enough inside my ear that I didn't feel compelled to touch it and dig at it and be annoying about it as I have with the majority of my other piercings. I totally endorse it. \n\nWhatever you decide, enjoy your piercings - but beware, piercing can become VERY addictive. :D", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I have four holes, all in the lobes. I got the first pair when I was five, because as a tall girl who was forced to sport one of those horrid bowl cuts until 4th grade, I was often confused for a boy. And rather than let me have a more feminine hair cut, my parents let me pierce my ears. \n\n*Random public service announcement* If you happen to have a daughter, who would prefer to not be confused as a male, and for whatever reason you don't want to deal with her having long hair, please suck it up or at least figure out a short feminine hair cut for her. It was incredibly embarrassing for me to grow up getting mixed up for as a boy and although I obviously have no proof of such, I tend to think it is part of the reasons I have had issues with being feminine and a female. \n\nI got the second pair when I was either 15 or 16. Interestingly, with the second pair, my ears got a lot more sensitive and I went from being able to wear any kind of earrings I wanted, to pretty much only being able to wear gold.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I suggest going for just the standard lobe piercings to start and going back for cartilage later. If you find out (as I did) that your immune system just objects to piercings entirely, you'll want to have as few to pester about healing up as possible. I made the mistake of having my lobes done with a gun and they never actually healed--it's been over five years and they still aren't healed.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Not only does cartilage hurt, but it is very slow to heal if it heals at all. I had some cartilage piercings for over five years that never healed properly and were always tender. Then again, I knew people who had them for six months and they were healed perfectly. If you do get your cartilage done, go to a PROFESSIONAL that will do a clean job. Hell, I recommend that for any type of piercing, even lobes. If you go to the mall to get your cartilage done, you're wasting your money because the guns aren't powerful enough to pierce the cartilage properly.\n\nI got my lobes done at a professional piercing shop, they wouldn't pierce me with anything smaller than a 16 gauge captive bead hoop but after a week or so I took the jewelry out and replaced it with my current jewelry (minimalist but girly, not a 16-gauge) and I've had no problems.\n\nYou may not know this but EAT A FULL MEAL BEFORE getting pierced! I'm not kidding. You might not think it would be a big deal (I didn't think it would be that big of a deal) but I ended up nearly passing out, haha.\n\nI'd recommend starting out with one in each lobe, see how you like it, graduate to two and if you want, to three. Best of luck!", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I have 2 in each lobe and one in the top left ear cartilage. (also nose and navel in case anyone cares). If you decide to get 2 cartilage i recommend doing one at a time too. I am no stranger to piercings and pain, but while the piercing itself didn't hurt, the healing takes a long time and leaves you very very sore! I couldn't lay/sleep on my left side for nearly 2 months. I couldn't imagine getting both done and having to lay on my back all the time, or waking up from the pain of accidentally bumping them. OUCH!", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I say go crazy, but in stages. No more than a 2 per ear at a time, maybe just 1. If they do get infected, you don't want the infection to spread to a whole lot of piercings.\n\nI've got 7 -- 4 in one ear, 3 in the other. Plus my belly button. All but the belly button were done in the mall with a crappy gun that everyone claims is so evil. It probably is, and if I were to get more I'd probably go to a real piercer as well, but I never had any problems with any of my holes.", "score": 3 } ]
How far are you willing to travel to your girlfriend/boyfriend's house?
Is driving 10, 15, or 25 miles far enough? How about driving 30 minutes? Is 45 minutes too far to travel in order to spend the day at your girlfriend/boyfriend's house? How far is too far for you?
22
[ { "body": "Before I married her she was a two hour drive, a seven hour flight, however long the layover was then another hour flight and a thirty minute drive away. Now we have lived together for 11 years walking from the living room to the kitchen is too far for me. ", "score": 23 }, { "body": "About a two hour drive, dated for about half a year before I moved to be closer. After a big \"Are you SURE the relationship is important enough to you for me to move\" speech. She dumped me to see someone else about two weeks later. ", "score": 23 }, { "body": "My boyfriend lives about a 25/30 min drive away from my house (depending on traffic). I'm mostly the one driving over to his place because I know he's more comfortable at his house (anxiety issues) but I don't mind at all. :)", "score": 13 }, { "body": "My wife and I dated and became engaged living 6 hours (by car) apart. Almost immediately after our first date, we started flying back and forth on Southwest to see each other over the weekends. We joke that it almost cost more to park the car (35$) than it did to see each other (70$ round trip). If not for the LUV airline, we might not be together.\n\nTotal travel time was ~3.5 hours each way. Worth every second.", "score": 13 }, { "body": "Not a question of how far, but for how long. If the relationship is worth it, and seems long term, either one should move in, or close by.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I'll typically go from my chair or bed to the door if they don't have a key. Maybe to the barn. And that may round wrong but I mostly date equestrians and they keep the horses in barns, so it's a good place to find others. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": "My girlfriend lives about 3000 miles away. We've been dating for 4+ years and she's been gone over a year now. We see each other about once every month and a half or two. She visits me, maybe twice in a row, then I visit her, maybe twice in a row, etc. Whatever works best for both of us. We always split the airline ticket price, regardless of who is traveling and what the cost.\n\nIt entirely depends on how much you want to see the person. If you love them enough distance is meaningless, albeit irritating.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "My girlfriend is an hour's drive from me. \nSame travel time with public transport.\nBut about fifty dollars cheaper.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I used to drive an hour and a half to see my ex. I stayed overnight though so it wasnt a big deal. I think the worst drive for me is driving 30 - 45 mins in my car through terrible condition roads. I scrapped the bottom of my car and messed up the alignment. It made me very sad. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "45 minutes? Are you kidding? 2-3 hours is more of my cutoff point. But, hey, if I really liked her, there really is no self-imposed limit. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "My girlfriend lives in Virgina, and I live in Pennsylvania. Luckily we both go to school in Ohio, so for three quarters of the year, we are together, but during the summer, I only manage to make the six hour drive to her place once or twice.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I travel 60-70 miles every other weekend to see my boyfriend. We make it work, it's been tough but it's been two years now :)", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Holy shit, I just realised I'm a country bumpkin. \r\n\r\nI was trying to come up with an answer, and finally decided that three hours one way (160-170 miles on Swedish highways, as a frame of reference) would be about my limit for over-day affairs (leave in the morning, come home at night), and upwards of about six hours for weekend deals. Then I started reading the other comments and saw complaints about 45 minute drives...\r\n\r\n**edit**\r\n\r\nMaybe you were asking for every day trips? Like, come over after work? Then it's more like an hour, an hour and a half I'd say.", "score": 3 } ]
Gave up all alcohol for the first 2 months of the year, to help with muscle development/calorie intake. At dinner time, I've been craving the taste of a beer. Any helpful advice?
Trying to lose that last little bit around the middle, and as such I've given up all forms of alcohol for the next two months to avoid the calorie intake and to keep the alcohol from killing the muscle I'm developing. I've never been much of a drinker anyway, but lately I've found myself craving the taste of a nice beer at about dinner time. I'm hoping to find others who may have gone through something similar to see if they found a healthy beverage to drink instead. Edit: Holy crap! Front page of the AskReddit subreddit! Secondary Edit: Some great advice and ideas here, thanks everyone!
6
[ { "body": "Water is the only \"healthy\" thing to drink. Give it a few more weeks for your body to completely detox and you wont want it anymore. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": "So I've got a dumb question. Are you sure it's the hops that you're craving and not some other element of the beer? Let's say that for whatever reason due to your recent diet change you've cut out almost all carbs. And that your body recognized beer as the best source of carbohydrates. Would it not be possible that your body is asking for beer because it wants the carbs? I have no idea about your diet before or currently, just musing.", "score": 3 } ]
moral quandary, take 1
Suppose I'm sitting at her bedside, and my dying grandmother says "of course you still believe in Jesus, don't you?". What do I do? Oh, and for added challenge: Suppose now that my 13-year-old daughter, with whom I've discussed my lack of belief on various occasions, is sitting on the other side of the bed. Now what?
8
[ { "body": "Talk to your daughter beforehand in case something like that happens. Tell her you don't want to be a part of your grandmother's suffering. \r\n\r\nYou could say \"I think about Jesus, God and the Bible a lot, and I am going to tell my daughter everything I know about them. I want her to have a good understanding about Jesus.\" ", "score": 15 }, { "body": "You say \"Yes of course\" to your grandmother and then afterwards talk to the 13-year-old about why you said it. Not that difficult.\n", "score": 9 }, { "body": "Honesty and integrity about this issue is not worth making a dying loved one suffer. If your grandmother would take it badly, you comfort her, however you must. She doesn't have much time left, and every single moment remaining is precious. If you don't believe in any sort of afterlife, you should think this doubly so.\r\n\r\nIf your daughter is there it's a good time to teach her that treating the people in your life that you love with kindness and respect and easing their suffering are more important than the silly things you believe to be true or not.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Well, I can only speak for me, but I'd tell the truth and say, \"Grandma, you know I'm an atheist. You've known that for years.\"\n\nNo adult should try to emotionally blackmail you into denying what you are. Even if they're dying. It is a weak, shameful, manipulative thing to do. And I'd be proud to let my daughter see how unacceptable it is.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "if a loved one is dying, the most loving thing you can do is to support any belief which gives them comfort, so the reply is ''yes of course, we will all be together in heaven, don't you worry about that'' \\*reassuring smile and holding hand\\*\r\n\r\nand this is a wonderful opportunity to teach your daughter about when it is appropriate to debate the existence of god and when it is appropriate to agree that god loves us and we are going to heaven, and she will learn about why people came to believe in god in the first place, and she will grow up with more compassion for believers", "score": 3 }, { "body": "It's okay to lie to grandma on her deathbed. Only a theist sees the world in so morally absolute terms that they think lies that help other people are sinful.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I'd say, \"Grandma, I think it's more important to talk about what *you* believe.\" Later, have a conversation with your daughter about why her great-grandmother might take comfort in her faith, being honest (but neutral) about what you think. \n\nI think (and take it for what it's worth) that what you want to teach your daughter is that people need to take ownership of their faith/lack of faith, rather than look to what others believe or don't for comfort. Grandma's salvation is not dependent on whether or not *you* are saved. It's her faith that matters, not yours. Likewise, your daughter will have to make decisions for herself, and while you want to teach her to make those choices in accordance with your own values, in the end, they belong to her.\n\nIf you want to throw a curveball, remind Grandma that most of the Biblical passages commonly translated \"faith *in* Christ\" could just as easily be translated \"faith *of* Christ.\" So it's really not wrong to say something like, \"Well, I think it's more important whether Jesus still believes in me\"!", "score": 3 } ]
WoWit: Do you prefer melee or casting?
While we wait for the servers to come back up, are you mostly a melee player or a casting player? I have a long history of playing melee classes. UO - Fencer, SWG - Swordsman, Vanguard - Shaman, WAR - Witch Hunter, WoW - Enh Shaman/DK. Any time I try playing a caster it just seems so very boring to me that you stand in one place (most times) and mash buttons. Melee just seems a whole lot more engaging to me. For example, I occasionally play a friend's druid. He hates feral and is always specced boomkin. To make sure his respec costs don't skyrocket I go with it. I queue up for WSG and get in. The entire time I am playing I just follow the melee classes around, hope I don't get hit by a rogue, and cast my DoTs and starfire everyone with half health. Sure you get killing blows, but it doesn't feel like I'm doing anything in comparison with prowling around as a cat ambushing people with the new feral charge. What are your thoughts?
3
[ { "body": "Melee, I enjoy actually doing something other than hitting two buttons and standing in one spot.\n\n(I hit 3 and run around in circles)", "score": 3 } ]
Hey Reddit, what are the best things to deep fry?
I'm holding a little deep fryer party at my flat next week. All the guests are paying me $5 beforehand, then I'm buying the best deep fryer I can with the total, which will be given away at the end via a draw. This leaves all of us to bring some goodies to be deep fried. Somehow, I get the feeling you guys will have some great ideas.
6
[ { "body": "look in the frozen food section at your local grocers, find premade ravioli, dip in egg, let excess drip off, roll in italian bead crumbs fry til golden brown, serve with marinara.\r\n\r\nand if you like buffalo wings here is an awesome sauce to try:\r\n1 stick butter\r\nHeinz 57 sauce or the cheap dollar brand version of steak sauce 3/4 cup\r\nteaspoon of tomato paste\r\n1/4 cup hot sauce your favorite variety ( I prefer either chipotle tabasco or sricha or however the Hell you spell it.)\r\n3 tblspoons plum or blackberry jelly\r\n1 tblspoon good red vine vinegar\r\n\r\nmelt butter, whisk together all ingredients adjusting for personal preference. fry chicken wings until golden brown, let rest for 2 minutes, in a large tupperware bowl with lid combine wings and sauce, toss vigorously to combine, shake off excess sauce and serve\r\n\r\nthe sauce is tangy, spicy, with some sweetness and it is all delicious i urge you to try and experiment around with", "score": 3 } ]
This is my horoscope for today...am I screwed? Or is today going to be the greatest day ever?
Take care of any medical problems that have been bothering you recently. You can't be too cautious when it comes to your health. You may find it difficult to communicate with one of your colleagues today
5
[ { "body": "It means you should finally deal with that self amputation you have been meaning to perform. Once your head is fully detached, it won't be easy conversing with colleagues...", "score": 4 } ]
Vote for Movie of the Week #10! Voting ends January 15 at 9 pm EST.
Runners up were Waltz with Bashir, Hudsucker Proxy, and Primer. [Don't forget to leave your thoughts on Blue Velvet in the discussion thread!](http://www.reddit.com/r/movieclub/comments/aont3/movie_of_the_week_discussion_blue_velvet/)
12
[ { "body": "**Waltz with Bashir**\n\n[Youtube Trailer](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylzO9vbEpPg)\n\n[IMDB](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1185616/)\n\nI've nominated this movie a few times, but I don't think I have mentioned that its an absolutely stunning *documentary.*", "score": 21 }, { "body": "**The Hudsucker Proxy**. You know, for kids!\n\n[Trailer](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUec0S6enH0). The trailer unfortunately gives away most of the plot, be warned.", "score": 10 }, { "body": "**[Dr. Strangelove](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Strangelove) or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb**\r\n\r\n[IMDB](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057012/)", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I just added this reddit and would like to become involved. Do I need to sign up or do anything? \n\n\nI'd like to watch **Waltz with Bashir**", "score": 3 } ]
Your favorite one liners
I just recently really started appreciating how much faster you can accomplish certain tasks by building the steps you're trying to do into a one liner. Afterwards I've been turning them into bash functions or a script to make them resuable but I wanted to pose the question to the group, what are your favorite one-liners? To start things off here's one use to generate a bunch of hashes for files in a directory: for x in $( ls ./ ); do echo shasum $x >> logfile; done
21
[ { "body": " tiff2pdf $2 | uuencode \"$2\".pdf > $2.email && cat /opt/emailbody >> $2.email && cat $2.email | mail -s \"Fax recieved by COMPANY's fax to email gateway\" $1 -- -f [email protected]\n\n$2 is a tiff file and $1 is an email address\n\nThis will email tiffs to you as pdf, I use it on our pbx to handle incoming faxes.", "score": 9 }, { "body": "http://www.commandlinefu.com/commands/browse/sort-by-votes\n\nhttp://www.commandlinefu.com/commands/view/1092/get-cisco-network-information", "score": 9 }, { "body": "`vim -p *.py`\n\nOpen all .py files in a new vim session using tabs.\n\nTons of awesome stuff [here](http://www.commandlinefu.com).", "score": 3 } ]
question regarding SPAS 12 shotgun stock.
I have seen a number of SPAS 12 folding stock shotguns that I do not quite understand the functionality of. sorry, no pic attach, but here is a link to google images.... http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=spas%2012&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi what is the purpose of the "hook" style stock? it seems like it would not be desirable at all... thx.
5
[ { "body": "question answered by shoulder peeper.\n\nFYI it is designed to be able to swing out and fit under the arm to facilitate one handed firing, or at least that is what I was told.\nany other answers?", "score": 5 } ]
DAE put Ketchup on everything they eat? What kinds of food do you put Ketchup on besides the normal?
DAE put Ketchup on everything they eat? What kinds of food do you put Ketchup on besides the normal?
8
[ { "body": "I put it on scrambled eggs and get the weirdest looks for doing so.\n\nOtherwise, I don't eat it on anything unusual.", "score": 5 } ]
How do you prevent wasted food? (Is there something you use when cooking that others would just throw out)
For Example: * When I peel potatoes I make the cuts a little thicker, fry the parts I cut off to make chips for later. * When I make Italian style chicken cutlets, I take the excess egg and breading, combine them, form a patty and fry them (basically making breading wafers for snacking). * I have heard that some people saving bacon grease for later on, but I can't imagine for what. Anyone else do something like this?
33
[ { "body": "I save a lot of meat fats for re-using in later meals. Bacon grease is particularly lovely. Imagine a pea and ham soup where you soften onions in bacon fat first... In fact bacon fat can be used in any recipe where you soften vegetables first and where the smokey porky notes would be appreciated - say in a bolognaise sauce.\r\n\r\nTraditionally housewives would have always saved the drippings from roasts to use in later meals. Jewish cooks were a dab hand with chicken fat, British cooks with beef dripping or lard. They would be used where modern cooks would use olive or vegetable oil. It was a sensible use of available resources, as opposed to the modern problem of fat disposal. \r\n\r\nOne of my favourite cook books of 2009 was [Fat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fat-Appreciation-Misunderstood-Ingredient-Recipes/dp/190641727X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263307810&sr=1-1) by Jennifer McLagan which explained all these uses and has chapters like \"Pork Fat: The King\" and \"Poultry Fat: Versatile and Good For You\". Delicious.", "score": 14 }, { "body": "I feed most of my vegetable scraps to our 6 chickens, the rest of our food scraps (which is very little) goes into the compost. I'm a vegetarian so I don't have bones or fat scraps and I rarely peel vegetables like carrots and potatoes. I wash and reuse plastic ziploc bags...I know it's not a food item but a lot of people throw these out :(", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Any vegetable trimmings (carrot peel&tops, onion peel, tomato/celery/garlic/beet discards) go into a freezer bag and is made into broth when i get about 2 gallon bags full.\n\nBacon grease is all saved. Its better for you to fry with than oils. I use it to season my wok and cast iron pan. To cook eggs in. and in countless soups and other recipes.\n\nChicken carcass is saved and made into broth.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I make a lot of use of my freezer.\n\nSave your vegetable trimmings and bones in the freezer, use them to make stock. Freeze the stock in ice cube trays, and put the cubes into big freezer bags. I've figured out that in my trays, about eight cubes is a cup, so you can just thaw as much as you need.\n\nHave some wine that's a little stale for drinking? Freeze it the same way. It's still good for cooking. \n\nSome fresh herbs that you won't use again before they wilt? Put them in with a little water or wine, and you can just toss the cubes right into a soup or stew, or thaw them right along with the broth cubes. \n\nYou can also freeze fruit or fruit juice for smoothies, and even milk. My husband says milk tastes different when it's been frozen and thawed, but I can't tell the difference. So, when milk is on sale, I buy several cartons, and then freeze all but one. Take the next one out to thaw in the refrigerator when the first one is almost gone. I don't do that with his special (gross) lactose free milk, but I do it with the regular skim that I drink. \n\nYou can also get reusable freezer and microwave safe plates with lids at most larger stores. So, when there's some leftovers from dinner, I make a plate of them, freeze them, and can take them to work or reheat them for lunch at home later. It's like having plenty of frozen dinners on hand, only they're tastier and better for you than the kind you would buy at the grocery store. \n\nA vacuum sealer is a great investment, too. It lets you freeze things much, much longer without freezer burn. You can even use them for soups. Just freeze it in a container, and vacuum seal the frozen mass later. Popping a frozen soup dome into the crockpot and letting it heat up is the ultimate lazy way to make dinner. (Just thaw it in the fridge overnight first, so the thermal shock doesn't crack your crock.)", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I save the ends and skins of onions to use when making chicken stock later (with chicken giblets and bones).\n\nI freeze stale bread ends to make breadcrumbs.\n\nI save rinds from pecorino and parmigian to throw in soups.\n\nI save bones from steaks to, again, make stock, often with leek leaves or vegetable stalks.\n\nBacon grease is great for frying kale and chard.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Ignore \"Best Before\" dates.\n\nIf the milk is sour, it will smell and taste awful. Until then it is fine.\n\nIf a fruit has collapsed in on itself and is growing blue mould, don't eat it. Until then it is fine.\n", "score": 4 }, { "body": "If I'm making mashed potatoes I will boil the potatoes in the juice from the cans of veggies I have opened up that week like green beans or sweet peas to add nutrients/flavor to the potatoes.\n\nAlso if I have really stale bread I'll pull it apart into pieces and add butter, sugar, marshmallows and peaches and make one of the best peach cobblers you've ever had. \n\nMy grandparents lived across the street when I was little and I don't think they every threw away anything because they lived through the depression. If it was a complete loss, my grandpa put it in his stink bait bucket for fishing. (edited for spelling)", "score": 3 } ]
Help please a nikon user thinking about getting a super-zoom lens. tamron 18-270 or Nikon 18-200?
I've a D80 and going to Italy in two weeks. I've a kit lens Nikon 18-135 and Nikon 50mm 1.8 I've been looking into getting a walk-around kind of lens. I've been leaning towards the Tamron 18-270mm for it's extra zoom but have heard about autofocus problems on Nikon bodies. Is this a major or minor problem? I'd love to hear from Nikon users that have either lens for a recommendation as no store nearby has Tamron lenses. If it helps, my level of skill is intermediate and the lens is for holiday shots and the price difference is about €150-€200. EDIT: tamron is cheaper There was a similar post 6 months ago but it was for a canon body. EDIT: Thanks for the quick responses so far. Just to clarify, I'm primarily looking at a superzoom because I dont want to change lenses often during the day. I'm travelling with girlfriend and don't want to make taking photographs this thing where we've got to stop every 20 mins because I'm looking for the correct lens. Also I'd hate to look at a potentially good photograph and have to weigh up to see is it good enough to go through the hassle of changing the lens to a telephoto (and back again). I've checked out Dpreview in the past and they seem to rate them both pretty much the same. I'd sell the 18-135 if I was happy with the superzoom so I won't have several lenses for the same scenario. UPDATE: Thanks for all the input. I'll take the advice given here, save my money and just bring the 18-135mm and 50mm on holiday. I might see if theres a local shop that would let me rent the 18-200 for a day and take it for a test drive to see if a superzoom lens is the right way to go.
8
[ { "body": "The advantage of the Nikon 18-200 over the kit 18-135 are minimal and not worth the spend. If I was you I'd just get the Sigma 70-300 APO and have a decent tele/semi-macro lens that complements the lenses I already have. The Sigma costs around $200 and it has excellent optics - but no VR, slow and noisy autofocus and only f3.5-f5.6, so tough to shoot under less than ideal light situations. Still you get pretty good value for the money. Here are two of my favorite shots I took with this lens: [1](http://www.flickr.com/photos/randomb0y/4263187634/sizes/l/in/set-72157618016284625/), [2](http://www.flickr.com/photos/randomb0y/3937389179/sizes/l/in/set-72157618016284625/)\n\nIMO the Tamron superzoom is way too expensive for the image quality provided, but that's to be expected for such a wide zoom range lens. DPreview has an in-depth review of the lens [here](http://www.dpreview.com/lensreviews/tamron_18-270_3p5-6p3_vc_n15/).\n\nThey have one for the Nikon superzoom [here](http://www.dpreview.com/lensreviews/nikon_18-200_3p5-5p6_vr_afs_n15/), but you really shouldn't buy it anyway since you have the kit lens. (and it's not that outstanding of a lens anyway)\n\nSo yeah, I think that you should stick to a zoom tele lens instead of a superzoom. If you have the cash you can go for a more expensive nikon with VR instead of the Sigma I suggested.\n\nEDIT: here's the [BHphoto page](http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/549304-REG/Sigma_5A8306_70_300mm_f_4_5_6_APO_DG.html) for the Sigma tele zoom. I couldn't find a reliable review for this lens, I basically bought it based on user review on BHphoto, specs, price and sample pictures that I saw.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "I have no specific experience with the Tamron, but it's my personal belief that, with several notable exceptions, you're generally better with first party glass. The Tamron 28-75 f/2.8 is an excellent lens that defies this logic, but I don't know about the 18-270.\n\nOn the other hand, I *know* that the Nikon 18-200 is a fantastic lens. I actually *dreamed* about buying one last night. Not even joking. I woke up and was pissed I didn't have it.\n\nThat said, I don't think you'll see a huge difference with either of these. On a 1.5x crop body, you're already looking at over 200mm of reach with your current lens. The Nikon has 50% more reach and the Tamron doubles it, but for what you're shooting, I don't know that either of these will really make a giant difference.\n\nIf you end up carrying two lenses, you might consider the 70-300 or 55-200 and your 50mm. That combination is pretty handy. You've got a good walkabout and portrait lens, and then some reach with the other.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I borrowed an old Tamron 28-300 from a friend of mine. I used it on my D80 and found the autofocus to be much better than my Nikkor 28-80. What I liked most about the autofocus was how smooth is was. It didn't jolt my camera like my 28-80 does.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "If cheap zoom is what you're looking for (and you don't need VR), check out the [Nikon 70-300mm](http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/207359-USA/Nikon_1928_AF_Zoom_Nikkor_70_300mm.html). This was the first zoom lens I bought for the D80 and the quality is great. It's not the fastest lens, but for $150, what do you expect?", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I have the 18-200 lens from Nikon and I like it.\nBefore this I had one Sigma 18-50 f2.8, one Nikon 70-300 with VR and another Nikon 105mm. The weight of the backpack carrying all these was unbearable and in addition to that, I hated having to change lenses too often in bad conditions (street, dust, etc).\n\nNow I have this lens and another 35mm f1.8 for low light shooting. I keep the Nikon on during daylight and switch to the 35mm in the evening.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Truthfully, you don't really need either one since you have an 18-135. The only reason you should look to upgrade is for VR (or whatever Tamron calls it). The extra 65mm you'd gain on the Nikon 18-200 won't be that noticeable and to make up for it, you can adjust your shooting to get closer to the subject.\n\nNot spending the money gives you more euros to spend on your trip.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I'm not a Nikon user but as a general rule, whenever I need feedback on lenses I check out the Fred Miranda Reviews.\n\n", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I just got the Nikon AF-S Zoom Nikkor DX 55-200mm f/4.5-5.6 VR, very happy with it. But with it's not a super zoom, you might want to go to the 300mm, or 400mm.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "http://www.fredmiranda.com/reviews/showproduct.php?product=343&sort=7&cat=28&page=1\n\nhttp://www.fredmiranda.com/reviews/showproduct.php?product=309&sort=7&cat=43&page=1\n\n\nposted in case anyone else is curious about other user reviews.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I'm happy with my Nikon 18-200. When faced with a similar problem, I chose the old 28-200G, and have been extremely happy with it. In some ways, it's better than the 18-200, and I picked it up for $225.\n\nPersonally, I'd stick with the 18-135, unless you have a specific need for the extra length. Keep in mind that the Nikon 18-200 only zooms to about 135mm at close distances. You only get 200mm at infinity.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I have the Nikon 18-200. It's principal faults are some barrel distortion and not being super sharp on the long end when wide open. However, any lens that you're planning on using a lot should have both VR and internal focus motors. They make a lens much more versatile than the extra focal length. \n\nIf you get one, I recommend taping down the focus ring. The focusing and zoom rings are pretty close together, and I was always grabbing the wrong one and defocusing my shot just at the wrong moment. The ring doesn't move when the SW motor is in use, but the ring will change the focus if you move it yourself.\n\nThe 18-200 really does a good job of lightening your camera bag. Less lenses means more mobility. I recommend it.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I went to Rome twice and was fine with my D60 and Nikon base 18-55VR. There isn't a whole bunch of need for a zoom lens. It's small enough to walk around with and take some photos close enough that you don't need the zoom. The only time I would zoom more is for more detailed close ups of the ceilings possibly, but even then i don't find it necessary. I think that the kit lens can be left at home in place of the 18-135 and the prime lens would be a nice addition. Have fun in Italy, and if you have a chance take a quick one hour train ride through the mountains to a place called Tivoli and check out Ville D'Este there... great for pictures.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I have an 18-200 which I normally carry when traveling, and I'm quite fond of it. I've used it a fair bit with a D40. The two together are an excellent balance of weight for performance. \n\nHere's a shot of mine taken with the D40/18-200 on a trip in Central Australia:\n\n* http://www.flickr.com/photos/saffsd/3043663292/\n\nAnd another from Bali:\n\n* http://www.flickr.com/photos/saffsd/3226391246/\n\nAs others have mentioned though, you're not going to get that much more out of the 18-200 than you are from the 18-135. One tip I will share though is to consider a [Circular Polarizing (CPL) filter](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polarizing_filter). I'm quite fond of the look it gives, though YMMV. Some resources off google:\n\n* http://www.great-landscape-photography.com/polarizing-filter.html\n* http://www.offrench.net/photos/articles/polarizing_filter.php", "score": 3 } ]
Why is rationalizing the denominator important?
My teacher said we must learn to rationalize the denominator because mathematicians believe it is important. Unfortunately, my teacher has no idea why this is important other than making mathematicians happy. --- My question is WHY? ... WHY can't we save a step and leave that poor little denominator alone?
21
[ { "body": "> The main reason we tell students to do this is to have a standard form\nin which certain kinds of answers can be written. That makes it \neasier for us as teachers to check the answers, and for the students \nto check their own answers in their book. Also, putting things in a \nstandard form can make it easier to recognize similar forms in a \ncomplicated problem, and to combine them. For example, if you had to \nadd √(5) and 1/√(5), you would not see that they can be combined \nuntil you changed the latter to √(5)/5; then you would be able to \nadd them and get 6 √(5)/5.\n\n>Before calculators, there was a specific reason to rationalize\ndenominators that went beyond this: when you actually calculate the\nvalue of the expression by hand, it is a lot easier to divide √(5)\nby 5 than to divide 1 by √(5). (Try it!) Since that was a useful\nform, it became the standard form that teachers expected. We maintain\nthe tradition because it's helpful to have SOME standard form, and\nthat one is at least as good as any.\n\n[Source](http://mathforum.org/library/drmath/view/68610.html)", "score": 50 }, { "body": "As others have said, it's not important to rationalize the denominator. However, it *is* important to known *how* to rationalize the denominator. You have to be able to realize that sqrt(5)/5 and 1/sqrt(5) are the same thing, and you have to learn how to go back and forth between the two.", "score": 9 }, { "body": "I think DeusIgnis has the right of it, but I also think it is a useful technique to be fluent in when calculus rolls around. \n\nFor instance, rationalizing the denominator is the simplest way to evaluate a limit such as\n\n limit as x ->0 of x / ( sqrt(1+x) - 1)\n\nwhen you're first learning techniques for solving limits analytically (allowing you to evaluate such things long before you've seen L'Hopital).", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I recall some problems from my calculus class a long time ago, Professor Leibniz gave us a couple of examples where we rationalized the *numerator* to ease solving the problem.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "As a high school math teacher, I can say a few things:\n\n* it's not, really\n\n* the process of rationalizing the denominator is *very* similar to writing a complex number in standard form, which *is* important. You have to be able to write complex numbers in standard form so you can plot them on a complex plane, do operations on them, find magnitudes, etc. \n\n* I will say that knowing how to manipulate the forms of numbers in general is important, including by rationalizing, for the simple reason that you wouldn't otherwise know that 1/sqrt(2) and sqrt(2)/2 are equal\n\nNot every technique you learn in high school is important in and of itself, but are often used in small ways later. Also, learning to do something silly like rationalize the denominator is sorta like dribbling between cones in soccer practice. It's useless in and of itself, i.e. there will be no cones on the field, but it helps to build dexterity and comfort with the subject.", "score": 4 }, { "body": ">WHY can't we save a step and leave that poor little denominator alone?\n\nWe can. \n\nAside from it being easier to grade work if everything's in a standard form, as mentioned in DeusIgnis' excellent post, there's not necessarily a good reason to do it. I mean, yes, it's important to know because it's just a really basic algebraic skill, but at a higher level people often don't care about it. 1/√(5) is just as correct as √(5)/5, since they're equal.\n\nBut say you've solved an equation to get a numerical answer and it's got, say, some complicated combination of radicals. It could be that rationalizing can show you that the answer actually works out to something simple.", "score": 3 } ]
My wife is christian I'm an Atheist, I need some advice.
Please no flaming here. My wife is a very beautiful woman and I fault my self for marrying beauty over substance and sound logical principles. The issue is that she is very devout and not at all scientifically minded, I was willing to put up with this until it came to the issue of our son. I never thought far enough ahead to realize that she would insist on indoctrinating him and making him a "good christian boy". She has already insisted on my church attendance and the attendance of our son and I just don't know, what I'm going to do on the day he asks me about god. I mean I made a promise to myself that I would never lie to him about faith and religion. How am I supposed to tell him that everything his mommy believes is just as much crap and fairy dust as the tooth fairy or Santa? I'm sure my wife would leave me if I did that, but I don't know what to tell him without being a hypocrite. Any ideas? Edit: all of you have been very helpful, I'd like to address a few of the comments I received, this is ironic, you say she is not scientifically minded, when you chose her with your animal instinct instead of logical reasoning! haha I believe that choosing a beautiful wife over a smart/ homely wife was a very logical choice, it increases the chance that i will have good looking child thereby increasing his chances of mating successfully and also having a successful life especially if his looks are combined with my relatively high IQ. Thereby insuring that my genetic material is passed on and I in a sense become immortal through my progeny. here is my proof http://www.flickr.com/photos/45378920@N07/4170266000/ told you he was beautiful, Also, I do have to address something that I hope you will all comment on as well, although my attending church could be seen as my tacit approval or belief in god, I can't say that it hasn't been beneficial to my career, although I majored in chem, I work as a radio broadcaster and we live in a very tight knit religious community and the church we attend has the largest congregation. going to church has increased my exposure and has also helped me in ad sales. My question is this: Is it a violation of Atheist ethics to game the system so to speak and let people believe that I am a believer for professional gain? I think yes, but it is very difficult to risk one's success within a community over a religion that I do not believe in. Final Edit: In response to the question of whether or not atheists have ethical standards that they should live up to I submit this http://www.atheists.org/Ethics_Without_Gods Also for those who think that I am being disrespectful by calling god crap and fairy dust I just want to say that I would never say this to my wife or son if those terms, I DO want to stay married after all. Final Final Edit: changed opening line I agree that it was somewhat disrespectful to say beauty over brains, and that is not the message I wished to convey,
17
[ { "body": "Good job not sorting out important life choices beforehand. Protip: when considering marriage, lay out all the \"dealbreakers\" before the actual wedding so no one gets hurt. Experience, I speak from it.", "score": 63 }, { "body": "> She has already insisted on my church attendance \n\nYou've already lost the war here. Because you are attending, in your kid's eyes, you're by default a Christian (hand in your atheist card :) ) - remember, it's not that you actually believe a religion, it's whether you follow the behavior outwardly. \n\nTeach him reason, teach him HOW to learn, teach him the difference between metaphor and myth. And when he asks, \"Do you believe in god?\" Don't lie. For every hour he spends in church, spend 2-3 hours learning science and/or math with him OUTSIDE of a school session. Teach him cause and effect. Ask him questions and expect him to find the answers. \n\nAlso, I think you need to have a serious conversation with your wife about this. \n\n\nAlso, not meaning to be negative, but I'd be prepared for a divorce. Make sure you have a kit (shaving, clothes, sleeping bag), a plan (legal council) and secret some money away with a family member. Twenty bucks a month over a couple years will really help out. \n\n", "score": 36 }, { "body": "this is ironic, you say she is not scientifically minded, when you chose her with your animal instinct instead of logical reasoning! haha\r\n\r\nthere's no harm in going to church with your family, and there's no need to lie to your son, tell him that you don't believe in god but you love his mother and you respect that she finds value in her beliefs, just as she respects that you find value in your beliefs, and you work together in harmony, as a team, for the good of each other and your offspring, each bringing something different to the family unit\r\n\r\nthe important thing is that you show your son that you respect his mother, you don't need to call her beliefs ''crap'' you can simply say that you do not believe those things, and he will learn that it is possible to respect a person without needing to agree on everything, just like in any marriage", "score": 13 }, { "body": "Teach your son to think for himself, and let the rest be up to him.\n\nAs for church there's probably a lot of nice people there. There is usually goodwill events you can get involved in if worship service is not your thing. If it's Methodist the pot luck dinners are to die for. \n\nEdit: on a side note I would love to see the idea of segregation between atheists and christians go away.", "score": 12 }, { "body": "Find a Unitarian Universalist church. They'll be extremely welcoming, and they are basically just a humanist society. There will be plenty of fellow atheists there, and your wife can still appreciate some of the spiritual messages. ", "score": 9 }, { "body": "Marriage is a matter of compromise. Pick a middle ground and if your wife isn't willing to budge then that is her fault.\n\nI recommend offering her the option to take the child to church every other weekend and after the age of 12 let the kid decide. I would recommend not attending with them. You don't have to state your stance as \"mommy believes a lie\", there are several less insulting ways to approach the issue while remaining true and not undermining the issue of your wife's intelligence. Something along the lines of \"mom believes in things that I think are incorrect, probably because her parents told her that they were true and she loves and trusts her parents\" is perfectly adequate for the job. Make it clear that you will not lie about your beliefs while at the same time being clear that you won't use the kid's beliefs as a weapon against her if he chooses not to believe in a god.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "> I mean I made a promise to myself that I would never lie to him about faith and religion. \n\nThen don't. It's up to YOUR WIFE to defend her OWN belief system, you just defend yours. \n\nSo when he's asking you about church, teach him the scientific method, your experiences, what you feel, how you reached that conclusion. When you get the \"but why does mom...\" tell him that he'll have to ask her. ", "score": 7 }, { "body": "**I think you need to offer details on the particular beliefs of the church.** The church i grew up in was extremely fundamentalist (and as a result crazy) and literally asked its members for their entire lives. I gave the first 20 years of my life to that church only to find out its teachings were bull shit. For this reason, i consider attempts to convert people to this type of religion tantamount to attempted murder (and successful attempts = murder).\r\n\r\nIf your wife goes to a church that is going to ask for your child's life then i think you have a HUGE responsibility to make sure he isn't exposed to it at all until he is at an age where he can think for himself. \r\n\r\nOtherwise, i would have to offer my advice on a church by church basis, and i think everyone else should too. ", "score": 6 }, { "body": "> My wife is a very beautiful woman and I fault my self for marrying beauty over brains. [...] How am I supposed to tell him that everything his mommy believes is just as much crap and fairy dust as the tooth fairy or Santa?\n\nI'd say you've got some very big problems, and if you don't find a way to sort them out soon, they're going to lead to bigger issues in the future. The main one seems to be that you seem to have lost, and are probably continuing to lose, respect for your wife over your religious differences. That's pretty serious, and you're both in danger of turning your son into a battleground over that declining respect.\n\nThe fact of the matter is that you're likely going to get a mixture of good and truly wretched advice in a thread like this, and it won't always be clear which is which. Probably the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is get some marriage counseling for you and your wife. Deal with a professional.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "You made your bed, fuckles, now lie in it. And here are the problems with your eugenics \"logic\":\n\n-neither IQ nor looks can be said to be true-breeding\n\n-IQ and looks are probably inferior to other phenotypic traits, like social adeptness or EQ for darwinistic purposes\n\n-your kid might now become religious, which reduces many of \"adaptive\" traits. perhaps their own kids will one day die of a curable ailment because they pray instead seek a doctor. nice work, capt. darwin!\n\n-over the millennia most or all of your genes will not survive out of sheer attrition due to the mathematical observation the number of lineages increases massively *into the past* with the opposite effect being true for the future. More than anything else, random chance will decide if any of your genes survive more than say, 50 thousand years. Even if some do, they hardly have any particular connection to who you are.", "score": 6 }, { "body": ">I believe that choosing a beautiful wife over a smart/ homely wife was a very logical choice, it increases the chance that i will have good looking child thereby increasing his chances of mating successfully and also having a successful life especially if his looks are combined with my relatively high IQ. Thereby insuring that my genetic material is passed on and I in a sense become immortal through my progeny.\n\n\"Mating successfully\" doesn't necessitate two attractive individuals. You've got some messed-up views, *especially* if this was honestly the logic you used to select your wife. More than likely, though, you're just rationalizing your decisions after the fact, which is human nature but not very intellectually honest.\n\n>My question is this: Is it a violation of Atheist ethics to game the system so to speak and let people believe that I am a believer for professional gain?\n\nThere is no such thing as \"Atheist ethics\". Atheism is not a belief system. Atheists *have* their own ethics, which are wide and varied. My individual ethics say that I shouldn't lie about anything. What do **your** ethics say?", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I'm just entering this phase myself. My wife, while not a theist, believes in an afterlife. When our daughters ask, she says \"I think so\", rather than \"there is\", and I say \"I don't think so\" rather than \"there is not\". We both stress that nobody is allowed to tell them what to believe, even us.\n\nI have to say that I agree with the other point made by others, that your going to church is tacit support of religion. Given no other considerations than what you want to do for your own reasons, would you still go?", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Tell her you're not going to let her take him to church. Put your damn foot down. You're half the partnership, you have as much say as she does, so throw your damn weight around.", "score": 3 }, { "body": ">How am I supposed to tell him that everything his mommy believes is just as much crap and fairy dust as the tooth fairy or Santa? I'm sure my wife would leave me if I did that\n\nHow much truth is in this? Is it the fact that you would tell your son:\"God is a concept that some - including your mother - believe in and some - including me - don't.\" If this woman would leave you for telling your son this then, my friend, there is no way out of this conundrum but to shut up or have your wife leave you.\n\nMy wife wasn't a militant Christian but we did discuss (when my boy was 6 months old) what sort of religious upbringing he would have. At the time she was insistent (although not adamant) that we should install \"Christian values\" upon him from an early age as those are good, valuable and virtuous teachings (I'm paraphrasing and certainly *not* agreeing).\n\nSuffice to say that I wasn't on-board with this so I gave her simple terms - \n\nMe: \"Look I'm an atheist. We need to compromise. I will allow our son to be taken to church provided he isn't taught any God-passed-morality or biblical history unless it is *stressed* that those are opinions and myths, respectfully. Or conversely you may teach those as fact and history but only at home and only if it is *stressed* that I disagree and he's allowed to ask us both questions.\"\n\nHer: \"But what would be the point then?\"\n\nMe: \"Exactly.\"\n\nHer: \"Fine!\"\n\nThis was the beginning of a beautiful friendship (and some heated arguments followed by crazy, angry sex). Obviously, my wife is not an evangelical nutter otherwise I would have been long divorced.\n\nI'm delighted to say that over the years I have managed to bring my wife on board from a religious moderate, to agnostic, to full-pledged atheist.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "my wife and i solved a similar problem by attending a [UU](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism). The one we go to is amazing. The children's program centers around religious education. where they are taught what people of different religions believe, not that any one religion has a monopoly on truth. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Set out the ground rules. Your beliefs should be as important as hers. This is simple equality within your relationship. Your church attendance should not be mandatory, however, agree to go every once in a while. \n\nNow as for what you teach your son\n>How am I supposed to tell him that everything his mommy believes is just as much crap and fairy dust as the tooth fairy or Santa\n\nHow would you feel if your wife told your son that your Daddy rejects Jesus because he has no morals and wants to live in sin and hellfire.\n\nYou wouldn't like that either. You need to separate things into \"What Mommy believes\" and \"What Daddy believes\". He's going to get a LOT of the former from Church, and with natural inquisition he's going to ask you why you believe differently.\n\nTELL HIM THE TRUTH.\n\nTell him that you don't believe because you can not find any evidence. Explain skepticism to him. Don't tell him Mommy is dumb because she doesn't believe. Atheists aren't instantly smarter then theists, and that is a bad attitude to have.\n\nEdit: Your kid is adorable :)", "score": 3 } ]
Reddit, what tricks do you use to stay awake at work?
There's really not enough coffee in the world today to keep me awake (although some chocolate-covered espresso beans are helping). What tricks do you use to stay awake when you're too tired to function?
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[ { "body": "Seems nobody has mentioned the obvious. Get plenty of sleep. \n\nIf you don't sleep too well it might because you are stuck in a cycle. \n\nDrink coffee -> keep awake -> Go to bed -> can't Sleep because of caffine -> Get up feeling sleepy -> See Step 1.\n\n", "score": 39 }, { "body": "I work night shifts at a slow hotel. I am very experienced in this area, an expert even. Since I am unable to attain required sleep patterns and the correct amount of time, I am able to suggest all the alternatives. \n\nSome ideas. \n\n- Since it's cold out most places right now, you could get up and walk around outside in just your shirt for a short period of time. 30 Below weather works the best. \n\n- I always keep a can of energy drink kicking around and there are pots of coffee always on, it gives me the kick I need most of the time. \n\n- As mentioned, if you want to go the healthy route then fruit really works. I always bring citrus fruits to work with me. \n\n- Sometimes, I find that when my head bobs up and down and I am really struggling then a nice slap to the face helps. Its difficult task to perform on one self, but it works. You might even have to be a little bit psycho to hit yourself hard enough so that it`s effective. I am not sure. \n\nFinally, if all else fails which sometimes it does. I curl up on the couch, lock the door and take a snooze. 30 mins - 1 hr later and I am good to go. Though, one time I fell asleep around 1am and didn't wake up until 5:30am, that was pretty effed. \n\n\n", "score": 11 }, { "body": "We have a very loud alarm that goes off if you don't reset it every 15 min. If the alarm goes off it's time to look for another job.", "score": 8 }, { "body": "I've found that snacking on apples are extremely helpful. 1 apple usually keeps me going for about 2-3 hours before I start feeling groggy again on those really tiring days.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Baby alligator bites to the nipples. I work part time on an alligator farm making beautifully detailed alligator backpacks.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Get up and walk. It takes about 10-15 minutes to circle my building, and the walk in the fresh air almost always wakes me up. If it's too damn cold, like for example now, we have long hallways and I do the same thing inside for about 10 minutes. \r\n\r\nSometimes finding someone to bullshit with for 10 minutes or so helps too. \r\n\r\nFailing those, a nice 20 minute nap in the car really works too.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Once caffeine has absolutely no effect on me, plan B is to splash water on my face. Sounds crazy, but a two-minute soak will keep me up and about for an hour. It works twice, before I finally crash.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "\"chocolate-covered espresso beans\"\n\nI felt my pupils dilated, when I stumpled on this. I did not know such thing existed, but I do know I want it.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I work. \n\nIt works really well. \n\n...and there is plenty of work to do because i work with the laziest, fat assed, lying, work avoiding, smelly, ass-crack showing, witless, brainless, spineless, weaselly, foul, manipulative sacks of shit that I have ever, ever ever had the displeasure of working with.\n\nedit: I thought of more insults which apply.", "score": 3 } ]
Does DMT help you visualize 4+ dimensions?
I've read many many trip reports of DMT but I've never tried it myself. All the trip reports have a few things in common and one of them is the mention of experiencing higher dimensional spaces, even overlaid on to the real world with open eyes if they don't do enough to "break through." So I'm wondering if being able to actually experience these higher dimensions while on DMT has allowed anyone to be able to better visualize 4D or more while sober? This is an ability I'm trying to develop and I'm extremely curious if DMT would aid me in that quest (although that's not the main reason I would take it).
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[ { "body": "You can't visualize 4 dimensions. It's simply not possible, our brains don't opperate in that way. You can create models that represent a fourth spacial dimension but it would be in three dimensions...\r\n\r\nI've never done DMT but I dont think ANY drug can allow for a visualization like that.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I haven't broken into hyperspace yet, but I did see living vibrating walls, seeing images of my thoughts before I think them, and infinite repeating of images. Hope I reach it before I run out, only have couple tries left.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I felt a feeling of flying foward in a tunnel, just like a scifi worm hole, and then settle into this floating space area. Suddenly these shapes appeared in front of me, 4, 5, or 6 dimensions I couldn't say as I have no math experience, but they were certainly not 3 dimensions. \n\nAlso, they seemed 'real' to me. Not physically real, but real in the sense that when you look at a bird, dog, or person you can sense they are alive. They were as curious about me as I about them, although we didn't communicate. Just sorta existed in front of each other for a bit.\n\nedit: this was on [ayuahuasca](http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/ayahuasca/ayahuasca_info9.shtml)\n\nedit2:[i have reliably purchased products from here several times in the distant past](http://www.bouncingbearbotanicals.com/ethnobotanicals-ayahuasca-products-c-60_70.html)", "score": 3 }, { "body": "While it may help, I'd like to point out that visualizing 4 and higher dimensions is *intrinsically difficult*, not because the brain is \"hard wired\" to understand 1-3d concepts due to the degrees of freedom we as animals inhabit (though this is also true, and a surprising coincidence), there is a more fundamental problem known as the \"curse of dimensionality\".\n\nIf you want a quick intuition into this, just try to imagine the amount of work you have to do, on paper, to find the projection of a 2D shape onto a line (just measure it's width, this requires n computations). The 3D projection onto the 2D plane is much harder (this will require n^2 computations, to trace the outline), and the projection of a 4D will require n^3 computations. This is a problem an *order of magnitude* harder for any computational device, which your brain is one. Just thought I'd point that out.\n\n[edit]\nAnother example (a better one) is to think of it in terms of rotations. Say you're given two n-dimensional which are the same but rotated slightly differently. The object of the game would be to find the right rotation which turns one into another. Say, we do this by trial and error, basically brute force. In 2D it's easy (there's only one way to rotate the, so you keep (1,2,....n) Say this takes about a minute to do in your head, if it's complicated), in 3D it becomes trickier (the search space will include rotations in two degrees of freedom (horizontally and vertically in the easiest case, (0,0), (0,1),...,(n,n)). In 4D, the space of search is three degrees of freedom. ((0,0,0),(0,0,1),...,(n,n,n)).", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Hi\nI'm a ayahuasca user for 10+ years, 2+ times a month.\nShort answer is no, it doesn't. It doesn't work like that. It allows your brain to gain perception and consciousness over higher states of reality, for your, but this perception will always be translated to what you understand - your brain won't start processing things it can't.\n\nSo, 4D perception is still a bitch. But you may have experiences that help your awareness of other dimensions.\n\nSalvia as well - it has a thing for dimensions, more than DMT, but same story. ", "score": 3 } ]
A cool way to use playlists in iTunes + in iPod rating system to manage your music
Setup a playlist which only has music that is 3 stars and better or has no stars. Then setup your ipod to only sync that playlist. Listen to your music on your ipod. When you hear a song on your ipod you dont like, give it 1 or 2 stars. Then when you sync your music, that song will be removed from your ipod. Also if you add new songs to the itunes library, they will automatically come up in your ipod!
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[ { "body": "I’ve been using a variation:\n\n* Make a playlist of 5-star songs, limited to *x* songs, sorted in *reverse* order of most recently played (i.e., your favorite *x* songs that you haven’t heard for a while).\n\n* Do the same thing for 4 and 3 star tracks, varying *x* to suit the proportion of 5, 4, and 3 star songs you want to hear.\n\n* Make a playlist combining those three playlists plus unrated songs; sync *that* playlist to your iPod.", "score": 19 }, { "body": "I've got several smart playlist hacks:\n\n**Handling new songs in my library** \n \n* Never heard: Playcount = 0\n\n* Fresh Stuff: Date added = in last 7 days\n\n* Fresh & Never herard: above combined\n\n**Rating songs**\n\n* Rate us: Songs without rating\n\n* 3/4/5 stars - obvious\n\n**Tagging songs**\n\n* 0day: Date added = today\n\n* Missing tags: album artist = \"\"; genere =\"\"; etc.\n\n**Misc**\n\n* Boring tracks: all songs, ordered by skip count\n\n* Loved tracks: all songs, ordered by play count\n\n* Recorded this year: year = 2010 (useful when making \"best album of the year\" roundup ;) )", "score": 9 }, { "body": "I have a playlist called \"Unknown Favorites\" where I find songs that are rated less than 3 stars, but have been played more than 4 times in the past 2 months. Helps me re-discover my music.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I just delete songs and bands I don't like. I used to have over 100 gigs of music, thinking I was truly a music \"enthusiast\" or w/e. Than I realized, I'm never gonna listen to half the crap I had and started cleaning up. Now I just weed out stuff that doesn't vibe with me and keep the stuff I really want.\n\nAlthough I do think your method would be useful for actually figuring what I do/don't like. It's kinda ironic actually, because pretty much anything under 3 stars, don't keep, so the ratings for me are kinda out of balanced. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I would love a better way to rate songs on the iPhone/iPod Touch than the default multiple clicks currently necessary.\n\nI want either a screen with nothing but stars on it so it's easy to choose the one I'm looking for without squinting at the screen while I'm driving or whatever, or the ability to do voice ratings.\n\nHas anyone figured out a way to do this yet? I don't believe ratings are exposed in the music API, so an app probably doesn't/can't exist.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Star system discussion! Yay.\n\nI switched from a PC to a Mac last year. But only after researching to determine that I could save my star ratings on my music when I transferred it. I believe I lost 'most played' data, but I got to keep my stars.\n\nMy system:\n\n0 stars = unrated, listen to and rate\n\n1 star = delete from computer forever\n\n2 stars = keep, but most likely never listen to again. I reserve this for crappy recordings of my friends cover band and songs I don't like but can't stand to erase because it will make an album incomplete. Silly, most likely. Someday maybe I will have a house cleaning with my two star list.\n\n3 stars = good songs\n\n4 & 5 stars = favorite songs\n\n\nLike everyone else I play around with the smart playlists generated from 3 - 5 star songs. Least played, most played, etc. ", "score": 3 } ]
What exactly is the modern day purpose of a godfather/godmother
I've recently been bestowed the title of Godfather to my friend's child. Recently also another one of my friend has been bestowed Godmother to her friend's child. While growing up i never knew my Godmother/father so i don't exactly know what to do. I don't wanna be that guy who everybody says that's your Godfather but don't know exactly what that means. So reddit. What does it exactly mean?
23
[ { "body": "I always thought that a godparent would take over guardianship of the child if anything were to happen to his/her parents.", "score": 57 }, { "body": "godfather : a man present at the christening of a baby who promises to help raise the child in a christian manner; a male godparent who sponsors the baptism of a child.", "score": 24 }, { "body": "This post is perfectly timed! My sister just asked me yesterday if my boyfriend and I would be Godparents to my nephew. I'm freaked out because we're both atheists, and quite honestly, I not comfortable with being held responsible for any church duties. \n\nI asked my sister what it entailed as far as she was concerned, but she has yet to answer me, so I'll be following this post probably as closely as enderstylez as the day progresses.", "score": 14 }, { "body": "Secularly, it just means that you are agreeing to help raise &/or watch over the kids should something happen to the parents. It's an honor and a responsibility, not just a meaningless feel-good thing. You have been entrusted with the lives of your friends' children, not legally, but in spirit, as it were. ", "score": 7 }, { "body": "As an atheist pregnant lady - I have asked my best friend to be our kid's Fairy Godmother. I'm even going to get her a pair of wings and tiara. ", "score": 7 }, { "body": "In the church's eyes, if the parents pass away, you are responsible for the the moral and spiritual upbringing of the children. Also, it gives you the opportunity to be in their lives as something more than just their parent's friend.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "You talk about vengeance. Is vengeance gonna bring your son back to you and my boy to me? I forgo all the vengeance in my son. But I have selfish reasons. \n\nI'm a superstitious man, and if some unlucky accident should befall him, if he should get shot in the head by a police officer, or if he should hang himself in his jail cell, or if he's struck by a bolt of lightning, then I'm going to blame some of the people in this room. And that, I do not forgive. \n\nBut that aside, let me say that I swear on the souls of my grandchildren, that I will not be the one to break the peace that we have made here today.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "It means you are now obliged to give the child birthday and christmas presents, and will never receive a gift in return.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Traditionally the god parents are supposed to be the the child's spiritual mentor of some sort. They are supposed to show up at some of the sacraments such as baptism (baby), first communion (child) and confirmation (teenager) and wedding (adult). They are supposed to serve as a stand-in for the parent if the parent dies.\n\nIn modern times, unless the people requesting are super devout Catholics, usually it just means you're considered extended family. It's a Catholic way of unofficially \"adopting\" someone into your family as the child's aunt or uncle. You don't really have to do anything except show up for the baptism. They might make you swear to help raise the child in a Christian manner, but usually you just have to be present. It's just basically saying you're a \"special friend\" of the family or the child's unofficial \"aunt/uncle.\"\n\nMy parents had four kids so we had eight god parents. I think half of them were aunts/uncles and the other half were college friends. The only really difference is that my godmother (my aunt) gives me extra money in my birthday card when it's me and my twin brother's birthday. I don't think any of our godparents really took on the role of \"spiritual advisor.\" At best it's just an invitation to play aunt/uncle for the child. Most of our godparents just showed up to our baptisms and never did anything. A few we actually lost contact with. It's really up to you how much of a relationship you want with the child.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "If you're not religious, then the term can mean anything you want.\n\nIn Eastern Orthodoxy (and Roman Catholicism too, I think, but I am not sure), everyone coming into the church -- whether a newborn being baptized or an adult convert -- gets godparents.\n\nThe role of godparents in that situation is to be a guiding influence -- like a parent -- in matters of spirituality. ", "score": 4 } ]
[Jan 11th, 2010] Bikinis to burkas, surprised buildings, and embarrassing dating experiences.
**[/r/reddit.com](/r/reddit.com)** lizska posts about [Miep Gies, protector of Anne Frank, dying at 100](http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/aofv8/miep_gies_dies_at_100_she_hid_anne_franks_family/) (NYT), frycook links a [disturbing post about facebook](http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/aofen/facebook_employees_can_view_everything_with_the/), jaykoo21 posts about how [selective abortion may leave 24m men single in China](http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/aog86/i_guess_this_is_what_happens_when_you_kill_all/), and Afraidman links an article about the Taliban making [undetectable bombs out of wood](http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/aoh5e/taliban_make_undetectable_ieds_out_of_wood_all/). **[/r/itookapicture/](/r/itookapicture)** Apple_Dave takes a picture of [two scenes out of a hotel window](http://www.reddit.com/r/itookapicture/comments/aofco/itap_of_two_scenes_at_once_in_a_hotel_window/). **[/r/pics](/r/pics)** lightheat links a [surprised building](http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/aoh2r/surprised_building/). **[/r/WorldNews](/r/WorldNews)** truth_Xsader posts an insightful article: ["from bikinis to burkas"](http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/ao7il/from_bikinis_to_burkas/), NotPhil posts about [Cadmium in kids jewelery](http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/ao9ob/barred_from_using_lead_in_childrens_jewelry/), myketron3000 links a CNN article on [post-avatar depression](http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/aoehw/avatar_audience_is_being_depressed_because_the/), and vajav links a disturbing story about gangs in Mexico [selling babies and young children to US citizens](http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/aoaup/mexican_woman_tells_of_ordeal_with_crossborder/). **[/r/AskReddit](/r/askreddit)** schneeebly9803 starts a discussion on ["the most embarrassing thing that happened on a date"](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/aodf3/what_is_the_most_embarrassing_thing_that_has_ever/), and jason_w87 wants to know your interesting [bar experiences](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/aogvy/what_funny_things_have_you_experience_while_out/). **[/r/news](/r/news)** 1338h4x posts about the [ACLU defending peoples rights to protest](http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/aoe6t/school_tried_to_stop_students_from_protesting_the/). New reddit of the day: [/r/redditoroftheday/](/r/redditoroftheday/).
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[ { "body": "Good grief. I'm officially addicted to Reddit. With the exclusion of the \"Reddit of the day\", I /random'd every single one of those links tonight...", "score": 3 } ]
I'm a nuclear engineer working at a Nuclear Power Plant, AMA
A few rules first: * I won't tell you where I work (for security reasons and such). * No, I won't post nekkid pics (that's for r/gonewild, sorry)
19
[ { "body": "*What is the daily grind like for you?\n\n*How often is the reactor actually running and producing power?\n\n*Have there been any close calls / scares?\n\n*Favorite beer?", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Do you get screened for radiation when you come to work and when you go home? \n\n\nI read that that's how Chernobyl accident was discovered. By a Swedish? engineer who came to work and was covered in radioactive material.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Lets see:\n\n1. What was your undergraduate degree, and what part of knowledge from that degree finds the most use in your work?\n\n2. Was this a longtime goal, or is it just a job to you?\n\n3. Anecdotally of course, which of your fellow workers do you find know the most interesting science, and which the least, in terms of their educational/work background?\n\n4. What is your view of alternative reactor designs such as LFTR, HTGR, or any of the next generation reactors in or about to begin construction (ACR-1000, EPR, etc.)\n\n5. What type of reactor is it? (PWR, BWR, etc.)", "score": 3 } ]
News 12 NJ Runs Poll "Should Medical Marijuana be legal in New Jersey" People respond that Marijuana should be legal for EVERYONE.
Overwhelming number of people vote yes. In fact. 80%, or 1610 out of 2023 people say Marijuana should be legal for EVERYONE. http://news12.com/index.jsp Poll is in the bottom right corner but I'll post the full results here for lazies :P "Should medical marijuana be legalized in New Jersey? Yes, if it helps people with medical conditions cope (284 - 14%) No, it will be taken advantage of (129 - 6%) It should be legalized for everyone (1610 - 80%) Total Votes: 2023"
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[ { "body": "It's stuff like this that reminds me why I love New Jersey so much. Unfortunately, the will of the people has little impact in a broken democracy. ", "score": 4 } ]
DAE love to go Backpacking? If so what gear do you use? Where are your favorite spots?
My wife and i love to backpack. We are from Oregon and do the pacific crest trail often. Where are your favorite spots to backpack into and what do you find essential to take with you?
9
[ { "body": "My all time favourite walk is the [Western Arthurs](http://www.john.chapman.name/tas-wa.html) range in south west Tasmania. [This is me](http://picasaweb.google.com/defrost/EarlyPhotos?authkey=Gv1sRgCIXO1b6698DiwwE#5288723145832939970) on the way up to a peak - there's a lot of that. The lakes there are just stunning so worth the effort. \n\nDesirables? Ahhh : \nTrangia stove (or equiv) plus fuel, three layers of clothing plus outer garmets, tent, sleeping bag, three pairs of socks, 30ft of rope, chocolate, cereal, wine cask bags (for water - they're collapsible), knife, inflable cast, morphine+speed equivilants, bandaids + bandage roll. \nTea bags, camera, fruit. \n\nMy father is pretty keen on the [Bibbulmun Track](http://www.bibbulmuntrack.org.au/) which is 1000km long, although fairly flat, and takes about 40 days end to end - he's done that complete a total of 5 times (I think) since he retired. He's 72 now and says he might not do it anymore unless I go & carry a pack for him, he's getting arthritis in the hips & carrying a pack is really painful.", "score": 5 } ]
The world has collapsed into a technological darkage, could you survive?
Situation: Something dramatic has occurred, think (Stephen Kings The Stand, or some other post apocalypse world). Communications are down globally (Internet, Radio, TV), electricity is almost nonexistent. Do you have the skills and knowledge to survive on your own? Do you think others do? Does this worry you to any extent? How long do you think humanity could survive?
5
[ { "body": "I'd highly recommend watching [James Burke's \"The Trigger Effect\"](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4186437927867084105#) (the first episode of his Connections series). Watching the entire video would be 50 minutes well spent, but if you're looking for the meat, I think 22:30 - 29:20 is the most relevant to this discussion.", "score": 3 } ]
I'm looking for the easiest/best media server for Snow Leopard. Something that would work with a PS3 effortlessly.
Does anyone have any suggestion? I tried PS3 Media Server but I can't get it to work. Maybe someone knows something else that's better? Thanks in advance. EDIT: Read the FAQ for PS3 Media Server. Specified an IP and forward the port on my router. Everything works now. Cheers.
15
[ { "body": "Did you read the FAQ? Ps3 media server is far away the beat app fir what you want but if you don't set it up properly it won't work", "score": 4 } ]
Dear HTC, what the _fuck_ are you doing? Can we PLEASE get that 2.0/2.1 update for the Hero already? Sheesh!
Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. October! No, wait, December! No, Wait, 2010. Get on with it already!
53
[ { "body": "The Hero needs this 2.1 upgrade to breathe new life into it. I have one here in Ireland, love it, but being stuck at 1.5 while looking at the Milestone and Nexus One is hard on a man..\n\nOTOH, I would rather HTC take their time- the Hero's specs are not the best, so I just hope that they take the extra time to optimize the hell out of 2.x so that it doesn't embarrass the phone by lagging it further.", "score": 10 }, { "body": "Do you develop/port software? This stuff takes time to perfect you know...I never understand this whole \"give me now\" attitude. They're probably testing the hardware drivers needed for the new 2.x OS. And if I recall correctly, they only announced last month that Hero will get 2.1.\n\nSame with Diablo 3 whiners...obviously Blizzard wants to release the game as soon as possible to start gaining revenue. They're not holding it from you because they get a kick out of watching you squirm.", "score": 6 } ]
Teachers/Parents/Adults, do you think that the children today are more out of control than ever?
People blame taking God out of the school, lack of punishment, or the liberals. I don't think that is the case. The kids did not change...we have. I always look back at the Breakfast club. What does everyone think? EDIT: From the comments, its safe to say most people think that the kids today misbehave more than previous generations. If [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv1I4q6lOpo) does not change your mind...nothing will.
5
[ { "body": "Yes children are more out of control, and it's not their fault - it's the parents. More parents need to turn off the TV and read / play with their children. Parents need to accept responsibility for their children's values and education, and stop expecting schools / daycare / churches to teach them everything. It's not easy, but parents need to take more responsibility for the life they have created.", "score": 9 }, { "body": "I have a younger brother in 3rd grade. The kids in his class range from emotionally scarred to slow and lazy to batshit insane. With the exception of maybe one or two, none of them begin to come anywhere near \"normal.\" One kid commented on how she wanted to jump into bed and have sex with one of the boys in an older grade. One kid will continually threaten my brother with death threats and even once brought a knife to school and threatened him with it. I don't know about anyone here, but when I was in school, it was not like this at all.\n\nI think this stems from three things:\n\n* A lack of discipline and consequences.\n* Parents trying to be their children's friends.\n* Children being exposed to media they don't understand. (Sex and violence everywhere. Even children's shows recently seem to have more of violent slant than the one's I remember from my childhood.)", "score": 7 }, { "body": "you're all forgetting the \"best friend scenario.\" it seems to me that too many parents these days look to their children as actual friends, companions. this means that they are way too lenient with the actual parenting side of the equation (read:punishing), as you have all pointed out. i blame this all on dr. spock and that joy of parenting book phenomena. it's evolved into such ridiculous extremes these days, like most things. ", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Children no longer have consequences. We have taken all the punishment out of raising a child and instead tell each and every one that they are a unique and precious snowflake to be showered with praise and affection. \n\nWhen my parents grew up if you mouthed off you got a belt to the ass. Hell even when I grew up in the 80s if you were out of line you at least got a spanking. Now at worst they'll get \"time out\" and often nothing at all because of some crock of shit like they're just expressing themselves, oh all kids have a rebellious phase just let it go. \n\nI've seen children in a grocery store run down aisles and knock shit off the shelves, breaking it. What was their punishment? They didn't get to go to McDonalds on the way home. Way to put your foot down mom.\n\nPARENTS, IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS BEAT YOUR CHILDREN! Just a little, please!", "score": 4 } ]
Reddit - what do you do when somebody spells your name incorrectly on a repeated basis?
I work in an HR-based function doing a combination of recruiting, talent management (reads: helping people get promotions and career plan), and conduct training and development activities. Several months ago I met a guy who was looking for a job here, but none were available at the time. Being that he has some good qualifications I gave him my business card and told him to check in periodically and I would keep him in mind. He emails me once or twice per month which I have no problem with, but he has spelled my name incorrectly 100% of the time! The thing that kills me is that not only is my name clearly printed on my business card, but my company sets email addresses up in the format of [email protected]. As such he had to at least initially input my name correctly into his address book. I don't want to be a jerk, but I am a little frustrated that this guy misspells my name so frequently. My name is in my signature line of every email, so each time I reply he can see the proper spelling, so what else can or should I do? TL;DR - guy spells my name wrong every time he emails me and it is getting annoying enough to want to do something about it without being a jerk. **EDIT** Thanks for the entertainment (and a few valid suggestions as well). Just to clarity, this guy won't be getting recommended for any jobs since any technical role he would be qualified for requires incredible attention to detail.
17
[ { "body": "Send him an email to ask him to spell your name correctly.\n\n\"Dear John,\n\nI noticed that you misspelled my name a few times. The correct spelling is \"Dave\" with only one `v`.\n\nThanks.\"\n\nNo drama no nuclear bombs going off.", "score": 18 }, { "body": "Write back and spell his name wrong every time (or better yet, use the wrong name). See if he says anything.", "score": 13 }, { "body": "Can't be that bad... people misspell my name all the time with the female version of my name... and I'm very manly. What guy spells their name \"Toni\"?", "score": 11 }, { "body": "People spell and pronounce my name wrong constantly. I don't care. I know who they're talking about. What's the big deal? \n\nAmong the most annoying people on earth, I find, are those with some weird spelling (e.g. \"Kymberlie\") or pronounciation (e.g. Anna but in an English-speaking country and insist on being called \"ah-na\") who get all uppity when people don't get their odd names right. Of all the things in the world to worry about, that has to be about the least significant.\n\nPeople remember names as members of a category of words, and if yours doesn't exactly match the previous entry in their mental \"database\" then they are likely to get it wrong sometimes. It's nothing personal, it doesn't mean they don't respect or value you. \n\nNow if you're named David and someone keeps calling you Tom, that's more of a worry.", "score": 8 }, { "body": "As a John, I'm used to being called Jon on occasion, but I'm still shocked by the few people out there who manage to spell it Jhon... There are indeed a few people out there who go their whole lives without learning where to put the H.", "score": 8 }, { "body": "My name is Bekah. Pronounced the same way as Becca. I had a man come into my work about two months ago and call me \"BEEKA\" and I politely corrected him and said, \"Actually it's pronounced like Becca.\" And he said, \"No. I'm and English teacher, I would KNOW.\"\n\nOkayyy.... people mispronounce my name all the time. You can politely correct them or not. If you're emailing back and forth between this person just start misspelling his name. :)", "score": 8 }, { "body": "My name has an unusual spelling and it's gotten wrong far more often than correct. Personally I don't give a shit.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Oh yeah, my name isn't spelled incorrectly but my last name is frequently confused for my first name.\n \"Last name sir?\" *(Blank)* \"No your last name\" *\"I just told you.\"* \"(Blank) is your last name?\" *\"Yes, how does that make you feel? \"* \"Aww you have two first names!\" *\"Nope, just one, because. (blank) is my last name\"*\n\n\nAnyway, this guy misses something right in front of him. Doesn't sound like a good prospect to me. ", "score": 6 }, { "body": "My name is Kieren, an odd spelling of Kieran\n\nI no longer correct people because I am tired of it but it does make me super careful to not spell anyone elses name wrong", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Go and make your network admin a nice cup of coffee. Ask her how her day was. Now you're on good terms, ask her to bounce the emails back from the server with an added message. \n \n Your recent email sent to Quite Frankly was unable to be delivered. We do have a person \n of similar name working in our department, can you please check the spelling of the name \n and I will be pleased to forward your email. Regards, [email protected] \n \nProblem solved, without embarrassing you, you've made a new friend, and she's probably quite happy because that's more interesting that most of the networky things they she spends her time doing.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "You'd have to be some sort of moron to spell my real name incorrectly. It is only three letters, after all.\n\nThat said, I do have to deal with support emails from people who have extremely long or complex forenames/surnames, but in those cases I always take the time to check the correct spelling of their name in the to/from fields to make sure I haven't mistyped it.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I think you should go all batshit on the guy. Probably kick his ass, or at least trash his cubicle in front of everyone. I don't think people appreciate what a big deal it is to have your name misspelled. \n\nI, for example, initially thought to myself \"why is this guy bitching so much about something so irrelevant?\" But then I realized that one time, someone spelled my name with V instead of a B, and how dramatically that impacted my life. I should have just killed the guy where he stood! Instead, I just walked away and have been suffering ever since.\n\nDon't make the same mistake I did! You better deal with this before it completely fucks your life. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "People who do this are the same people who call you by another name or don't remember your name at all. This is because they think you are insignificant. It is an insult to do this. Another insult is when you are talking to a person face to face and they give you the 'once over' look. It's to make you feel inferior.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "There's always of option to just tell him that he's spelling it wrong. \n\nJust calmly bring the matter up and explain that it's bothering you.", "score": 3 } ]
Hey Reddit, can I get some experience from people who have different sized partners?
Back story: A couple months ago a met a beautiful girl in her 20s. She's smart, funny, blah blah blah; all those good adjectives. It's been going pretty well and she's dropped hints that she's ready to take things further. It's come up in conversation before that she's a virgin. One thing I'm concerned about is that she's is really, really tiny. She's 4'8" and 100lbs. I'm a pretty big guy; 6'6" and I've got slightly above average size equipment. So the question that's been plaguing me is, 'Will I even fit?' Can someone with a little more experience in this type of thing give me an idea of the mechanics here? How can I make this work?
5
[ { "body": "Ah so you're considering moving in with her and you're worried that she lives in a really tiny house? Well the last tiny woman I was with lived in a regular house and I think most others do, you will probably not have any trouble fitting in. Oh and just because they are small that doesn't mean they aren't strong. Try giving her your hammer or your saw, you'll be amazed at how well she can handle big equipment. Are you both carpenters?", "score": 34 }, { "body": "\"If they want it bad enough, they'll make it fit\".\r\nBest solution I've always found, and it makes a wonderful surprise to women virgins, is to let her first time be on top. Girl is all like laying down missionary, and you're all like, \"no no, like this\" and then they're all like learning to be dominant and sh*t. And they can control the depth, not your bulk slamming down on their cervix.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I am 6'3\" and my girlfriend is 5'0\". I'd say I'm a little above average for equipment and we've never had problems. Maybe the only consequence will be that your girlfriend enjoys it more. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "As a shorter lady redditor, I can tell you to make sure you don't pummel the hell out of her cervix. Apparently I'm \"short everywhere\" (actual quote) and deep thrusts from a slightly larger guy leave me bruised for a couple days. Food for thought.", "score": 3 } ]
If you could know the answer to any one question (or see one thing), what would it be?
Ill go first. I wish I could see the entire life-cycle of a single atom from my body. Second choice would have to be understanding the process that gives rise to consciousness. Third, being able to watch the formation of a black hole.
9
[ { "body": "As far as seeing one thing, I'd like see the end of the universe... preferably while enjoying dinner at a 5 star restaurant.", "score": 15 }, { "body": "Simple.\n\n\"So how do I go about living forever?\"\n\nAll the other questions I'll eventually work out myself in time. ", "score": 14 }, { "body": "I would love to see extraterrestrial life making first contact with us (or us making first contact with extraterrestrial life). Mainly because I am fascinated with evolution, and would love to know how life evolved on other planets.", "score": 10 }, { "body": "I would like to see a time-lapse video of the entire progression of the construction of the Great Pyramid at Giza.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Are we real? Is this all happening? Or is this just our minds playing a trick on us in a deep spiritual sleep.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I have it! I have the question. Now you have to answer me once and for all! How come I haven't gotten my period yet?!\n\nbonus points if you get the reference", "score": 3 } ]
Where is everyone here from?
Just curious to know what the geographical allocation of the DNB subreddit is, and how the scene there is. I'm from Toronto, Canada. The scene here is okay - we have a lot of small local events going on every week, and some pretty good local DJs. It's a bit dry in terms of international DJs coming here though. Some big names like Andy C are on a yearly rotation, and we'll get other big names on a monthly basis, but some DJs never seem to come to TO - I've been waiting for Spor, or Logistics, or Calibre, or High Contrast for like forever. I'd say the Jump Up style dominates here - dark acts can't pull in a big crowd at all. Seems like gone are the days when we'll get many huge headliners in one night - now you're lucky if you've got two headliners (who have been here before) at one event; usually it's just one supported by locals. Sometimes I'll see much smaller Canadian cities hosting stellar nights with huge lineups. The House scene in Toronto dominates so much that all the other genres can't take a huge risk on a night for fear of losing lots of money. Anyhoo, your turn. :P
12
[ { "body": "Was thinking of posting this yesterday actually, read my mind!\n\nI'm from Nottingham, UK. The dnb scene for a town this size is pretty good - there's a big monthly night called [Detonate](http://www.detonate1.co.uk) that regularly pulls in big names (this month they have Break, Noisia, Subfocus); you'll typically hear liquid/dancefloor with some tech & jump up. There's also a handful of smaller groups who try to compete but Detonate is big enough it's quite difficult - a couple of my mates (/wave Shamen&Solstice) run a night too though we don't just do dnb.\n\nWe also have some producers here though they're mostly pretty low key... probably the best known is Soul Intent. I know a couple of guys who've just joined a new label that's midlands based (Hustle Audio - posted one of their tracks on here).\n\nSo yeah all in all it's pretty good in Nottingham, definitely competes with the rest of the UK. One of these days I'd love to go to a dnb rave in Europe somewhere :)", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Zurich, Switzerland :D there is a DnB club near me that i have yet to check out, I've been rather busy. I'm not really sure if there is much of a DnB scene here at all though.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Down on the south coast of England, not much in this town, but it's only an hour & a half to central London.\n\n", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Bristol, UK. Bout as heavy as you can get out of London - without going up north (past Watford) ;)\n\nAnyone close? Would definitely be up for meeting some redditors, especially those from this reddit.", "score": 3 } ]
What's the consensus on python-distribute?
How does everyone feel about distribute and pip versus setuptools and easy_install? Have many people switched over, and if so, do you like it any better? I switched, mainly because the group that forked seemed to be more focused than the setuptools maintainers, but I'd like to hear others' experiences with it.
14
[ { "body": "I am biased of course, since I am the release manager of Distribute. But here are a few important differences FYI:\n\n* Distribute supports Python 3 and even provide extra tools to make you project Py3 compatible. see: http://packages.python.org/distribute/python3.html\n\n* Distribute fixes more bugs and want to have the fixes released asap. For instance this one : http://bit.ly/842kgU is fixed on Distribute side and make it compatible with MacPorts' Python. \n\n* I work on making Distribute a good Distutils citizen, so it works on the top of it, not *against* it. If Distutils doesn't allow to do something, I work on the problem on Distutils side, since I am its maintainer. And if its a deeper problem, we try to work them through PEPs. (see PEP 345, 386, 376)\n\n* Patches and contributors are welcome\n\n", "score": 10 }, { "body": "I've been using distribute for a few months and it seems fine. Pip is a different story however -- it simply does not covery the use-cases i have which easy_install fills perfectly. One of the major shortcomings is that i could not `pip install` a local directory or tarball. i know there's `pip install -e` but that keeps the directory where it is and doesn't place it in site-packages which i would prefer. also at the time i was using pip it had issues with packages that share a namespace (e.g. logilab.common, logilab.astng) where whichever one was installed last would remove anything that was there before. supposedly this has been fixed at least in the tip, but i haven't tried it.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "I use buildout. That sets up a restricted environment and has installation methods for all and sundry. buildout can use either setuptools or distribute internally. Right now distribute and setuptools don't differ very much yet in most cases. So much so I don't even know which one I'm using on what machines.\n", "score": 6 }, { "body": "setuptools and easy_install suck. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.\n\n\"[Why I like pip](http://www.b-list.org/weblog/2008/dec/15/pip/)\" is a nice article.\n\nEdit: [Packaging Propaganda](http://s3.pixane.com/lenin_packaging.png).", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Python packaging is a huge pet peeve of mine, or to be more specific, the lack of any package management.\n\nedit: to clarify, it seems like both pip and easy_install just aim to shove crap onto your system with no sane way of actually managing that crap. Tools like virtualenv and buildout (which IMO are just no fun to use at all) are basically work-arounds for the fact that anyone who develops with python is likely to have a disaster of a site-packages directory.\n\nGranted, most people seem to not agree with me given the current state of affairs.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "According to it's docs, pip can't install binaries or eggs and isn't tested on Windows. These seem rather fatal limitation to me.\n\nDistribute, on the other hand, looks good and I think I'll give it a go. Eggs are definitely a nice distribution format. On win32, I wish all packages provided binary eggs rather than .exe installers (so you can install a large group of eggs using easy_install instead of running each .exe installer in turn).", "score": 3 } ]
Favorite record label, /r/music?
We hear a lot about favorite bands and albums, but what about labels? Are there any that you guys especially enjoy because of their bands or the way they conduct their bussiness?
20
[ { "body": "[4ad](http://www.4ad.com/). Still very relevant after 30 odd years. And they've promoted two of my favourite acts of all time in Dead Can Dance and Pixies. ", "score": 16 }, { "body": "Elephant Six Recording Group (not necessarily a label in its own right): Of Montreal, Apples in Stereo, The Olivia Tremor Control, NMH. A great collection of artists right there.", "score": 16 }, { "body": "Kitsuné.\n\nBloc Party, Boys Noize, Crystal Castles, Foals, Hot Chip, Klaxons, Simian Mobile Disco, Two Door Cinema Club and Wolfmother to name but a few.\n\nKitsune seem to be able to get all the right acts before they are big, they are the catalyst for these bands and their future. The label has a \"street cred\" about it. Just awesome.", "score": 12 }, { "body": "**[Anticon](http://www.anticon.com)** (Why?, DoesOne, Alias, Jel, ...)\n\n**[Merge](http://mergerecords.com/)** (Superchunk, Trail Of Dead, Arcade Fire, Lou Barlow, Dinosaur Jr., Magnetic Fields, Neutral Milk Hotel, Polvo, Portastatic, Spoon, ...)\n\n**[Touch & Go](http://www.touchandgorecords.com/)** (Pinback, !!!, Black Heart Procession, Dirty Three, Don Caballero, Girls Against Boys, Jesus Lizard, Polvo, Slint, Three Mile Pilot, TV On The Radio, ...)\n\n**[DeSoto](http://www.desotorecords.com/)** (Dismemberment Plan, Burning Airlines, Les Savy Fav, Shiner, ...)\n\n**[Dischord](http://www.dischord.com)** (Fugazi, Lungfish, Jawbox, Q And Not U, ...)\n\n**[Definitive Jux](http://www.definitivejux.net/)** (EL-P, Aesop Rock, Del tha Funkee Homosapien, ...)\n\n**[Saddle Creek](http://www.saddle-creek.com/)** (The Faint, Cursive, The Rural Alberta Advantage, ...)\n\nEdit: Forgot about **[Jagjaguwar](http://www.jagjaguwar.com/)** and **[Sub Pop](http://www.subpop.com/)**.\n\nEdit: Obnoxious formatting fix\n", "score": 12 }, { "body": "[constellation records](http://cstrecords.com/)\n\nwhen i order a new album, i get a nice hand-written note from one of the owners, often asking me how i liked the last album i purchased.\n\nalso, reasonable prices, reasonable freight, and they have a lot of good bands.", "score": 10 }, { "body": "Stones Throw Records. They put out Hip-Hop records most notably from Madlib and JDilla. They are the new sound of hip-hop with madlib leading the way. ", "score": 9 }, { "body": "Blue Note. Until about the 70's, every title you pick up WILL be good. Beyond that time, the vast majority of titles will be good.", "score": 9 }, { "body": "I've always liked [Factory Records](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factory_Records). Perhaps the original indie \"alternative\" rock label, they had some unusual business practices. I love that scene in [24 Hour Party People](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274309/) where Factory founder Tony Wilson signs the contract with Joy Division in his own blood.", "score": 8 }, { "body": "Epitaph Records still has a reasonably reliable roster, with a few notable missteps. \n\nEqual Vision and Vagrant Records both sign artists that are good, not artists that follow current trends.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Mine would be SideOneDummy. Has some of my favorite bands (gaslight anthem, Flogging Molly) and The people running it seem like geuinily nice people. granted I haven't read much\non a lot of other labels, but SideOne seems to do everything right. ", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Dischord, Kill Rock Stars, Warp, HoZac, Jagjaguwar.\n\nOne of the great things about Dischord is that they have strict pricing control of their catalog. If you order directly from them, CD's and LP's are usually about $10 postage included. Thus, record stores can't jack them up too much more than that (they usually put it up to $13 or so). This is a great response to overpricing. As much as I love and want to support local stores, it's just not justified to spend so much on new releases, especially on vinyl which is expensive enough already.\n\nI recently got into HoZac, and I like that they still release singles, that's pretty cool.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I gotta go with Creation, especially in the mid-80s. All my favorite jangly indiepop bands were on there. \n\nHonorable mentions go to: Rough Trade, Mute, 4AD, Factory, Factory Benelux/Les Disques du Crepuscule, Sarah, Postcard, Flying Nun, Fast Product/Pop Aural, Stiff, SST, New Hormones, Small Wonder.\n\nAs far as modern reissue labels go I love Soul Jazz, Acute Records, and hyped2death. And of course Rhino.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Tzadik which is run by jazz artist John Zorn. It tends to focus on \"Radical Jewish Culture\" but puts out all sorts of interesting weird music. Here is a label that puts artistic direction above commercial appeal every time.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Mine has to be Domino Records, they have artists such as Animal Collective, Arctic Monkeys, Cass McCombs, Dirty Projectors, The Fall, Franz Ferdinand, The Kills, The Last Shadow Puppets, Neutral Milk Hotel and Pavement.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Nonesuch Records: John Zorn, Bill Frisell, Joshua Redman, Brad Mehldau, Bjork, Wilco, Phillip Glass, the list goes on...", "score": 4 }, { "body": "neurot recordings, deathwish inc. I like it when established bands put out their own records and try to get others on with them. neurosis and converge are two excellent examples.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Motown, 60s era. \r\n\r\nTight control of the sound, kept their performers in line so they didn't make asses of themselves and ruin their careers, fantastic session musicians, catchy songs...nothing tops Motown in my mind. Berry Gordy was a genius.", "score": 3 } ]
Reddit, what is your (a) age and (b) estimated net worth?
I'd like to make a nice scatter plot if I get enough responses. For consistency, please: -Do: Use US dollars (otherwise it's too difficult), include savings, investments, reasonable estimates of property (minus remaining mortgage), pensions, debt (net worth can be negative), and a story behind your net worth if there is one. - Don't: Include wildly optimistic valuations of your own business or start-up. I wouldn't include a business as having any value unless someone has seriously offered to buy it.
9
[ { "body": "37. absolutely nothing. i'm a stay at home mom. i'm going to go hide now because i don't think my kind is very popular here but there ya go. if i were working i would be in retail so my guess is i would still be worth nothing. i'm also an artist. so, yeah. worth nothing. this sounds so depressing to say i'm worth nothing but really it doesn't bother me in the least. edit- i don't know where that number one is coming fromas it's not there in my comment box so i can't delete it. wtf.", "score": 9 }, { "body": "How is everyone so freaking rich in their early 20s? Inheritance, rich families, what? I worked my way through college, am 26, and am only at like $20k...and I thought I was doing fine. Now I feel like Joe Dirt!", "score": 7 }, { "body": "(a) 21 (b) 22.1m\n\nedit: why the downvotes, its exactly what the post asked for\n\nedit2: http://imgur.com/Uo1CM (That took forever to put up!)\n\nedit3: i was asked for more proof http://imgur.com/6Q2xb.png", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Im 27. About 100k. No student loans or any other loans of any kind, except a mortgage. No college degree either. I save most my money and live fairly frugal.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "a) 40\nb) $500,000\nSoftware engineering. Half of the value is due to inflation in the housing market, and we own our own house. As a couple, our combined net worth is the double.", "score": 4 } ]
Reddit, what do you think is the best song ever written?
I need some songs to play at an acoustic concert, but I need some really well written songs in the vein of Hallelujah, Rootless Tree, etc. What are your favorite songs, if just for the lyrics?
5
[ { "body": "[Tribute by Tenacious D](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcJwz7wu8_s). It's not the best song in the world rather it's a tribute.", "score": 16 }, { "body": "Hard Time Killing Floor Blues - Skip James\r\n\r\nand I don't know if he wrote it, but Crow Jane by Skip James is wonderful as well.", "score": 3 } ]
How do you become a spy....
My daughter of 19 has just watched the first 2 seasons of "Chuck" and has expressed an interest in working for the CIA. How do we help her start down that road ?
8
[ { "body": "Graduate from a good school, preferably ivy league at the top of her class. Join the military now.\n\nThough you may want to tell her it's not probably not like.. you know.. a fucking TV show.\n\nNo drugs, clean record, good credit. Multilingual and good math is a plus, if not a must in the present.\n\nI also believe the people responsible for what the general public views as intelligence community commonalities such as high tech spy gadget shit and covert action, is likely handled by those who don't apply for the civilian jobs, but those who are - if anything, recruited.\n\nNSA and CIA start recruiting before colleges even begin scouting high school athletes.\n\nAlso have to take into account things like family and other personal relationships - with anyone and everyone - and they will absolutely be checked, double checked, and then checked a few more times.\n\nGreat show and all, but Chuck wouldn't have made it past episode 2 or 3!\n\nGood luck to her! I was once very interested as well, but ultimately I wasn't willing to make the sacrifices that would have been demanded of me. She should go to a bookstore or library and check out the non-fiction books on intelligence and espionage. There are some great ones that provide a good understanding of what each agency does in comparison to each other, and there are other ones that go into at depth, previously classified events, mainly during the cold war. Most of it can be incredibly thick and boring, just a warning.", "score": 12 }, { "body": "Start with a degree in Political Science, most CIA jobs are in analysis. Learning other languages would be good, especially Arabic at this point. A little time in the military would also prove useful.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I live in Canada and have known people who have applied to CSIS, which is a little like our version of the CIA. In terms of qualifications they were looking for people with degrees, as a minimum, and preferred a Masters. They were looking for people from programs like World History and Policital Science with minors in languages. Apparently, in the intelligence industry you start as an analyst which by all accounts is an incredibly boring job which entails pouring over raw intelligence data and trying to draw meaningful conclusions. They want people with a broad understanding of foreigh culture who can give them insight. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Well there are spies, and there are spies. If she wants to work at a desk all day, do what everyone here recommends. University, military, etc. If she wants to be an actual spy, her best bet would be to live in a politically unstable country, make up a bunch of shit, and then get in contact with a CIA agent. Tell her not to worry if a bunch of innocent people die when we start dropping bombs, we can retcon that shit.", "score": 3 } ]
Marriage: Pros and Cons?
Hi AskReddit! A friend and I were having this discussion the other day - marriage gets a really bad rap, with people complaining that once you're married, you never get sex, you hate your spouse, it kills your soul and leaves your heart black and cold. Despite this, and despite the fact that stastically one in two (or three?) couples end up getting divorced, a lot of people keep getting married, and even more people want to get married. I'm only 21, and I'm certainly not ready to get married, but I've always assumed/hoped that one day, when I'm with the right person and I'm in the right situation, I will get married. So I'm interested to hear from those who are wed: - why did you get married? - how old were you + how long have you been married? - are you glad you got married? - what are the pros and cons of marriage? - why do you think so many modern marriages fail?
56
[ { "body": ">people complaining that once you're married, you never get sex, you hate your spouse, it kills your soul and leaves your heart black and cold.\n\nI still get laid as often as i wish. I also don't hate my wife, i actually talk to her now more than when we were just dating.\n\nThere are a few key points ppl are missing: \n\n* You both still need alone time. (I'd go bat-shit crazy if i was locked in my house 24-7 with my wife, or anyone else for that matter.) \n* You both still need time out with your friends. \n* Your life doesn't end once you are married. \n* Don't rush an important decision. (If you can't figure out a major yet, you don't need to be planning a marriage.) \n\nAnd if you want it to work, it is pretty simple. A good wife is...\n\n* Your girlfriend. She is someone who cares about you. And she is someone you care about. She is there to have and to hold. It doesn't matter if it's romantic walks on the beach, or a blow-job in the morning. She is your go-to girl for affection.\n\n* Your roommate. You see a lot of each other, but you have separate lives. She goes to work/school, as do you. At the end of the week there is a sink full of dishes and a hamper full of clothes to wash. Like any good roommate, you share these tasks and you help each other pay the bills.\n\n* Your friend. Likes to spend time with you. She trusts you, and you repay that with trust and respect. You would bend over backwards for her and she would do the same, because that is what friends do.\n\n* Your family. She is there during every major event. She is there during Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Summer Break. She is in all your current family photos. She is there regardless of how happy you are with her at the time (and vise-versa). And however you may fight at home, she will have your back the minute someone opposes you. Blood is thicker than water. \n\nIf you can keep this all in mind, you should be fine. I think marriages fail when they forget or fail to respect one or more of these points.\n\nIt is funny i typed all of this. Prior to meeting my wife i thought i'd never get married. I'm 33 btw, and have been with my wife for 3+ years.\n\nEdit: formatting", "score": 164 }, { "body": "> why did you get married?\n\nFor the same reasons that everyone does... I loved the woman I married and wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. We've been married for 10 years and were together for 10 before that. \n\n> are you glad you got married?\n\nEvery day of my life. My wife is my rock. \n\n> what are the pros and cons of marriage?\n\nThere's so many of each it's hard to say. The biggest pro is intimacy, and I'm not just talking sexual intimacy. It's the intimacy that comes from sharing life events. My wife was with me when my mother died; she was holding one of my mom's hands, I was holding the other. After she died I called my sister to tell her and after that started to call my step-father when she walked up to me, took the phone out of my hands and just held me while I cried. That's the kind of intimacy you can only have with someone you've dedicated your life to. \n\n> why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\n\nTwo reasons: \n\n* Communication. This is the main marriage killer. If you feel you're not getting something from your spouse that you need you have to tell them. If something is bothering you about your spouse you have to tell them. If you don't a resentment will build up that will destroy your marriage. \n\n* Not liking your spouse. Just like you can like someone and not love them you can love someone and not like them. My wife is my best friend. We talk all the time and hold hands when we go to the store. After 20+ years we still find things to talk about and still enjoy each other's company. \n\n\nEDIT: Formatting\n", "score": 80 }, { "body": "If you get no sex, hate your spouse, and your soul dies when you get married, you're doing it wrong.", "score": 56 }, { "body": "I got married because I was (and am) madly in love with the woman who became my wife.\n\nI was 18, she was 19, and we have been married over 31 years now.\n\nThe pros of marriage are being able to be with your soul mate every day, sharing life's adventures and heartaches together, and having someone who loves you with all their heart look you in the eye and tell you.\n\nThe cons are negligible in my estimation. Having less privacy, having to consider someone else when making decisions that effect your life or career, etc.\n\nI think many marriages fail because people tend to rush in to it. Even though I was young I had known my wife to be for over four years when we started dating, and we were friends before we were lovers. \n\n", "score": 29 }, { "body": "I got married at all because I loved her and wanted her to be the mother of my children. I got married when I got married because she was going to dump me if I didn't propose, and she wouldn't have still been single a few years later when I was ready.\n\nI was 22, she was 23, and we've been married just over 6 years. We knew each other all through college, dated for about a year, then got married a semester before my BS and her MS.\n\nI'm glad I got married. My wife is smart, funny, smoking hot, frugal, loves to cook, and the model mother. In my dream world, we'd have waited a year or two longer before getting married. Sometimes I envy my single friends, but I am not great with the ladies and I know too many people who are 30-something and will settle for anyone who showers daily. I am glad I didn't end up single my whole life, which is the most likely alternative.\n\nThe biggest pro of being married is knowing that someone will be there for me. She only has two rules (no adultery and no hitting) and as long as I follow them she won't leave me. We've had a few rough patches, and divorce or separation just wasn't a consideration, not by either of us. I honestly believe she would help me hide a body. I've always had a mental image of my perfect house/family/lifestyle, and she seems to have the same vision, which is awesome. It's very validating and comforting that someone else sees the world mostly the same as I do. The cons, well, nothing that others haven't said. We don't have identical sexual tastes, and we each have quirks that the other has to put up with (she's a germophobe; I'm an geek). And we have kids. We both want kids, I love them and think they are the easiest kids you could ask for, but kids put a huge strain on a relationship, there's no getting around that. \n\nWhy do marriages fail? I'm not sure that it's one reason. I have 4 friends who have been divorced and the only common thread is that at some point, one spouse realized the other spouse wasn't who they thought they were, and the other spouse wasn't willing to change. In one case I think they really rushed things and didn't know each other when they got married (<12 months from saying \"Hi I'm Chris\" to filing for divorce), but in the other cases they were together for a long time and the divorce or separation came as a surprise to everyone. I think that if people didn't get married unless/until they really felt comfortable opening up to the other person, then more marriages would last. If you turn to your parents or best friend before your spouse, or if you just keep things to yourself instead of turning to anyone at all, there's a risk of that marriage breaking apart. \n\nWhen my brother got married, he said that he felt a little guilty, like he was getting a much better deal than his wife. She laughed and said she felt the same way. It seems to me that it's a sign of a good marriage/relationship if both people think they're getting the better end of the deal.", "score": 17 }, { "body": "I'm 33, was married for 2 years, divorced last year, no kids. \n\nWhy did I get married? I loved her deeply and sincerely and wanted to start our life together (which, in my mind, marriage represented the \"official\" start). \n\nHow old was I? I was 29 and thought it was time as we dated for 5 years. She was 26. \n\nAm I glad I got married? I have no regrets as I entered with a clear mind and with the best of intentions. Sure, I've beaten myself up many nights trying to figure out what went wrong, but I'm not one to live my life regretting such decisions when, at the time, I thought I was doing right. \n\nPros and cons of marriage: Having dated in my early 20's, had a relationship in mid-20's, married in late 20's, and divorced in early 30's and dating again, I think I know the pros and cons real well. \n\nPros: When married, it is great to have someone to care about, live your life for, and plan a future with. You walk by something in the grocery store and smile about how surprised she'll be when you bring home her favorite strawberry roll-ups. It's little things and little thoughts that enrich your life and make you feel good about making another person feel good. When you're single, holidays and random Friday nights can be lonely as hell. When you're married/in a committed relationship, it is awesome to play a board game or watch a movie. The downtime with a spouse is really underrated. \n\nCons: Space and privacy can be limited in marriage. I like to read a lot and that is a solitary event. Many spouses have difficulty respecting your space and your personal, free time pursuits (read the many Reddit posts about videogames + girlfriends). Also, it is more difficult to take professional risks when married. With someone \"depending\" on you (my wife was in grad school), the decision to start a business/non-profit, take a job in a different state, etc is much more complicated. \n\nWhy our marriage failed? I was working too much (literally holding down two jobs), she hated moving for my career (even though she was going to grad school), and I believe that she just wanted out (her mood was much meaner in the end, we started counseling, she stopped giving a damn about anything I said) and found it from another person (who happened to be my best friend --I was the best man in his wedding -- he also divorced and they are together dating somewhere). \n\nYou didn't ask, but I wanted to say that divorce is the worst situation next to losing a loved one. It tears you up. Friends become enemies. The person you thought you knew well is an entirely different beast. When adultery is thrown in, you can't think straight. Your mind is going nuts with thoughts of revenge, hate, sadness, self doubt. It is brutal. Absolutely brutal. \n\nRemember this: The grass is always greener on the other side. My married friends are jealous of my new \"freedom\", but they don't think about how great they have it (warmth of a loved one, the sound of their children's laughter, etc). I remember, about 2 months after I moved out, I got a flat tire around midnight on a cold winter night and my cell phone was very low on batteries. It hit me that I had no one I could really call to help me out (meaning, my friends were all married, it was late, and I would have historically called my wife). That was a real low point in my \"new\" life. With that being said, I would suck it up and deal with that loneliness issue everyday of my life than be in a terrible relationship with a dishonest person or someone who treats you badly. \n\nAfter my divorce, a lot of people asked me for advice, especially, \"Should I get married?\" My answer was always as follows: Don't take any lessons from how my marriage ended through adultery. You have to live life with your chin out, shoulders back, and feet moving forward. You can't always be hesitant and never take a bite out of the apple because of what happened to others. Live life and do what makes you happy. \n\nI wish you the best in all of your relationships and hope you find pure happiness. ", "score": 17 }, { "body": "Marriage is a legal arrangement in the United States. If you treat marriage as such you will be successful.\n\nCommitment is a personal agreement you make with someone that you may choose to marry. If you take your commitment seriously then you will be successful in your personal relationship.\n\nOften, the benefits of marriage (the legal arrangement) will add to the benefits of commitment (the personal agreement). When the two are combined they can be very effective.", "score": 14 }, { "body": "Marriage can be really great or really terrible, like swamp thing it makes you more of what you already are. So choose wisely! I get way more sex then my single buddies and way kinkier sex because you can establish more trust. I have been married 7 years and dated for like 7 before that...early it was off and on dating because we were young. If you get married before you are 25 you are an idiot. 25 should be the earliest you even consider it, no one is mature enough before that. \n\nI am an atheist of love. Meaning I don't think it exists. Modern idea of love is an emotion nothing more and emotions are fleeting, thus divorce. REAL love is a choice. The conscious decision to wake up everyday and eat your Cheerios staring at someone across the table that may not look their best at that moment and choosing to love them anyway. Everyday. Love being the ability to put their needs above your own. So when i hear people say we fell out of love I want to bitch slap them... it is the same way people use religion as a crutch. They say it like they had nothing to do with it, it just sorta happened which is a fucking cop out. If you look at statistics arranged marriages have less divorces and i attribute that to the fact that they go in with eyes open understanding that they are creating a contract. Duties to each other. If you also look at rich people they divorce in large number... name one celebrity couple that have made it work. The reason there is they don't need each other. They have everything they want and don't depend on each other for anything. I don't make a lot of money so my wife and I really NEED each other and greatly depend on each other it strengthens the relationship. Humans can see 180 degrees so you need someone at your back checking the other 180. We aren't built to live in safe little suburbs where apathy and boredom set in. We are built to face great challenges from the environment and predators we are built to NEED each other, when you stop the relationship goes to shit. So to sum up my advice is to keep life adventurous together if you do get married. Struggle with something, challenge yourself, doesn't have to be with money, climb rocks, travel, start a company together. Don't let boredom set in.\n\nOh kids...totally different topic and changes everything. ", "score": 12 }, { "body": "The happiest married people are those that have similar financial, sexual and reproduction goals. Perhaps, I could simply say: \"have similar life goals\". Of course, those goals will change overtime, and that causes another set of challenges.\n\nMy wife and I both manage our finances well, and are upper-middle class, so there's not any struggle over paying bills and affording hobbies. We also both did not want children.\n\nThe result: a relatively happy, stable relationship, with plenty of time and energy to devote to each other and also have an independent life. Sex is great, and plentiful - though there are still natural desires to be with others. The extent to which the spouses want, accept and allow a certain level of experimentation with others is important.\n\nFrom my perspective, a lot of marriages fail once children become the focus of the relationship.\n\nAll relationships have ups and downs. At some point, you're going to be unhappy with the other person. Marriage is a commitment to working through your problems. \n\nAlso, most people have personality faults that they are not aware of - living with one person for years will expose those faults and cause you to have to re-evaluate who you are and who you want to be. Getting over yourself is a challenging aspect of marriage.\n", "score": 11 }, { "body": "I'm 35 and have been married for 6.5 years, with her for 2 more before that. We have 2 boys.\r\n\r\n* We felt like we were in love and would make a good match. We both wanted kids and saw in each other compensatory traits that complemented our own respective shortcomings. (Although I take a more pragmatic approach to this than she does, who insists on being idealistic.)\r\n\r\n* Yes I am. I think married life is overall more rewarding for *me* than remaining single would have been. This is variable by individual.\r\n\r\n* Pro/Con list would be way too long and relationship-specific to count for much here. But a couple of my own, I guess. PRO: companionship, trusted confidant, life-partner, kids, intimacy beyond what single hookups can ever bring. CON: tied down, sexual stagnation, fiscal worries, domestic obligation, personality conflicts........\r\n\r\n* I think the biggest reason (though by no means the only reason) that so many marriages fail is a lack of communication. If something is going wrong in a relationship, or there has been a slight of some sort, for fuck's sake: TALK ABOUT IT!! This is hard, and often confrontational, and it is far easier to sweep hard feelings under the rug... at least for now. But those sorts of suppressions never go away on their own. What is simply denied only grows in strength, but what is confronted starts immediately to pale in its potential to bring strife.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n", "score": 9 }, { "body": ">Why did you get married?\n\nThe catalyst was a fight we had when we were dating. We kind of disliked each other for a while. During that time, I realized that even when I was pissed at her, I still didn't really want to leave the relationship. We talked about it, she felt the same way, and we decided to make the commitment to stick together.\n\n>how old were you + how long have you been married?\n\nI was 25, and that was 12 years ago.\n\n>are you glad you got married?\n\nGlad doesn't cover it. I really don't like what I come up with when I imagine what my life would be like without her. And for clarity: The piece of paper is not the marriage (the marriage certificate that I couldn't even find today if I had to). The marriage is in the promises we made to each other (the vows we made that I can still recite).\n\n>what are the pros and cons of marriage?\n\nPros: safety, future, increasing closeness. I can piss her off, and she'll stay. She can piss me off and I'll stay. I can't be embarassed around her, I know nothing will change in the long run. Every adversity, every achievement, every fight, every laugh just brings us closer together.\n\nCons: The nostalgia of how I imagine things used to be. I have this idea that the bachelor life was soooo great, but every time I get a taste of it (friends, wife & kids go somewhere or I go somewhere for a while), it SUCKS.\n\n>why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\n\n1. Rushing into it or getting married for the wrong reasons. Getting married \"because we love each other\" or \"because it's just the next thing to do/take it to the 'next level'\" or b/c \"OMG PREGNANT\" are increasingly bad reasons to get married. \n\n2. Drift. People cling to things and sequester them from each other, it drives a wedge, drives resentment. That's not to say you shouldn't have me-time (me-time is a MUST, for any relationship)...just that it shouldn't be sequestered or begrudged.\n\nAs for the bitching about marriage thing: There's a saying in business. Every dissatisfied customer will tell 10 people how much you suck. For every ten satisfied customers, one will tell a friend how great you are. I think this applies to marriage as well. People bitch about what sucks, they relatively rarely talk about what's great.", "score": 9 }, { "body": "> why did you get married?\n\nconceptually? because it was clear to me that there was no conceivable way i would ever find a better person than her. symbolically (ceremony)? social and cultural expectations; and why not. it was fun. legally? makes other legal affairs easier.\n\n> how old were you + how long have you been married?\n\n31; 7 years\n\n> are you glad you got married?\n\nyes. my wife's presence is one of my few joys in life. she's one of the greatest people i know and i have life-long VIP invitation to the show.\n\n> what are the pros and cons of marriage?\n\nlife is an experience. and just like everything else, experiences are better when you have someone to share them with. there are facts likes cheaper insurance, shared resources, improved odds of good health. but, honestly, it's just nice to have a team...someone to grab by the collar and say, \"it's you and me against the world, kid. Let's go.\"\n\n> why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\n\npeople, particularly in western society, are so squeezed in constant pursuit success, money, and a good time; trying be at all times, equally, the employee of the month, the maid, the gardener, the fashion icon, the financial guru, the best friend/drinking buddy, etc. ...that people don't have time to be a husband or wife. they take for granted that their spouse will always be there and unintentionally stop sharing their life with them. relationships demand shared experiences. if you're not sharing the same experiences, you're not sharing a life together. you're just sharing an address.", "score": 8 }, { "body": "* I found a girl who I really had fun with, and had the same goals & values in life and realized that I wanted to have a life together with her.\n* Married at 27, 6 years now.\n* Very much glad I got married. It's never a guarantee, but I wanted to take a chance with her.\n*It's a good life if you find that compatible person. Sharing all the ups and downs with a partner and, if it happens, having a family together really put things in perspective. I have slowly learned what it means to put someone else before you. \nIt can be tough at times, the sparks can easily get covered up by the daily grinds of trying to survive life. It happens to everyone, you just have to decide if you want to go through it with someone. There is no \"con\" of marriage if it's something you really wanted in your life, just sacrifices that have to be made, but hopefully there is something else you'll get that you didn't even know you wanted. \n* People jump into it without really knowing someone or not being truthful to themselves, and saying they wanted a commitment in the first place. If you really know someone, you'll be able to decide what things, big and small, you'll put up with and what you won't. Learn how to argue, learn to communicate, verbally and non-verbally, and be honest with yourself and then to your partner.", "score": 7 }, { "body": " * why did you get married?\n\nLoneliness\n\n * how old were you + how long have you been married?\n\n33 years old. Been married for 2 years.\n\n> are you glad you got married?\n\nYes.\n\n> what are the pros and cons of marriage?\n\nPros:\n\nAt the end of the day, there's someone I can talk to.\nI don't have to play the singles game every weekend.\nI can have normal conversations with women without needing to read between the lines or second guess myself.\nI no longer need to compete with my buddies. Instead, I can help them get hooked up.\n\nCons:\n\nPutting on a smile for my wife's family and friends.\nCompromise on what to do during our free time together.\n\n> Why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\n\nThere is a lot of pressure from society to conform to the idea of the perfect relationship. It's also more acceptable in society to end unhealthy relationships. \nThat divorce rate is somewhat skewed because a minority of people are responsible for the majority of divorces. ", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I hate the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Yes, that is true. But the reality is most of those divorces are from people that divorce more than once, skewing the numbers. \n", "score": 5 }, { "body": "* why did you get married? \r\n\r\nBecause we were ready to have kids and my husband-to-be said his grandmother would lose her shit if we weren't married first. Seemed worth it.\r\n\r\n* how old were you + how long have you been married? \r\n\r\nI was 29, he was 28. We've been married...let's see...14 years? Damn! We're old!\r\n\r\n* are you glad you got married? \r\n\r\nSure.\r\n\r\n* what are the pros and cons of marriage? \r\n\r\nI assume you mean the actual \"marriage\" and not just the \"together forever-ness\". Mostly, honestly, it doesn't much matter, but here's the pros:\r\n\r\nWell, when my husband was in the hospital and almost died, I was treated as the one in charge and allowed to make decisions and be with him at all times. Had that happened a year before, we'd have been in a mess.\r\n\r\nUm...let's see. Easier on paper for many things - birth certificate, school stuff, insurance, joint ownership.\r\n\r\nWhen we had kids, his grandmother didn't lose her shit.\r\n\r\nCons? Taxes cost more.\r\n\r\n* why do you think so many modern marriages fail? \r\n\r\nSame reason any relationships fail - people often suck. ", "score": 5 }, { "body": ">why did you get married?\r\n\r\nI was always of the mind that I was searching for my wife, so when I found some one that met my criteria I started planning on marrying her.\r\n\r\n>how old were you + how long have you been married? \r\n\r\nI was 20 she was 19 we have now been married for over 5 years.\r\n\r\n>are you glad you got married?\r\n\r\nYes\r\n\r\n>what are the pros and cons of marriage? \r\n\r\nPros: An economy of scale starts to happen and you have a partner to share your life with. Many others too.\r\n\r\nCons: Since you get super comfortable with one another you stop trying to impress them if you are not careful. This can manifest itself in weight gain, decrease in sex, and generaly treating your spouse badly.\r\n\r\n>why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\r\n\r\nComunication and babies.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "> why did you get married?\n\nWe had been dating for 6 years (met in high school) and were moving across the country together. He had proposed a few months before and we were both ready to get married so we did...\n\n> how old were you + how long have you been married?\n\nI was 21, he was 23. We've been married for 15 years.\n\n> are you glad you got married?\n\nIt's been a hell of a ride, but overall yes! We have a compatibility that's unexplainable and love each other very much.\n\n> what are the pros and cons of marriage? \n\nPro - I live with my best friend and get to experience life with him. Through both the highs and lows we've made so many memories together. We've known each other so long that we've watched our nieces and nephews grow up, we've watched beloved family pass on, and we've been together through the peaks and valleys. \n\nCons - Sometimes you just want to go somewhere or buy something and don't really want to take the time to discuss it. Decisions are made by committee so to speak. It's great when you agree but not so great when you don't ;)\n\n> why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\n\nUnrealistic expectations on both sides and an unwillingness to compromise. Also people change and grow over time - you have to make a concerted effort to stay connected or things start to come between you and your loved one.\n\n*edited to add - there are two things which have always worked for us. 1) Two of everything (which gets expensive but oh the glory that is two bathrooms!) and 2) Laughter will get you through most anything.", "score": 5 }, { "body": " * why did you get married?\nWe were certain we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. We love/d each other. As for timing, it was the right time for us, even though we were young (21)--we were in the middle of a big transition and decided to go through it married.\n\n * how old were you + how long have you been married?\n\nStarting dating at 17/16, married at 21, we're now both 26. Our five-year anniversary was Friday :)\n\n * are you glad you got married?\n\nYes. Without question. It is the best thing and hardest thing in my life. Most rewarding thing.\n\n * what are the pros and cons of marriage?\n\nPro: *We've become a great source of strength for each other. This definitely has to do with knowing each other so long and being deliberately honest with each other.\n\n*Knowing each other so young and being together through high school, college (long-distance, even, like four months apart at a time long-distance with a few days of visiting, not this every-weekend visiting that the kids do now), grad school, and now our working lives, we have seen each other's major life changes, spiritual changes, physical changes, career changes ... and we're still the same people at our cores. I tell my husband that one of my favorite things about being married to him is getting to see him go through his life, because he's one of the most interesting people I know, and I love seeing what he does and how it turns out. And being a part of it is wonderful too.\n\n*For us, the sex gets better and better.\n\nCon: *Monogamy. It isn't a problem for us, but if you aren't inclined to monogamy, or to long-term commitment, or if you use cheating/flirting/jealousy to get back at your partner, then marriage is a bad idea for you.\n\n*You are now the most important people in each other's lives--family, close friends, roommates, lovers--and there will be lots of things you don't like about each other. Hopefully you get over or through most of them.\n\n*You're different people and you will never act exactly the way you want each other to act. Forgiveness is a big deal. We had a six-month long fight in our first-second year of marriage, and it was awful. But we have much more effective fights now.\n\n * why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\n\nI think people don't know what they're getting into and then are surprised that it is so hard. Dishonestly, greed, jealousy, personal issues, money, lots of reasons.\n", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Marriage is a legal contract that gives you tax breaks. No more, no less.\n\nIt's completely different from psychological commitment, which is the real thing. **A lot of marriages fail when two people aren't *that* committed to each other so they marry thinking it will make commitment magically appear. It won't.**\n\nSo, go ahead and get married, once you find someone you really love and *want* to commit to!", "score": 5 }, { "body": "> people complaining that once you're married, you never get sex, you hate your spouse, it kills your soul and leaves your heart black and cold.\r\n\r\nI think the perception is exaggerated. Some people like to bitch a lot. You know these people. They complain about lots of things. They enjoy it. And they exhibit the same personality habit regarding their marriage. But it's especially damaging to the marriage to denigrate it that way. Most people aren't like this. But the few who do feel this way (a) should have shut up about it and worked on their marriage, and (b) have an exaggerated impact on others' perception. \r\n\r\nnever get sex? \r\n\r\nWell, sex becomes monopolistic, in most marriages. And because sex is limited to just the partner, sex becomes a duty. After marriage if a man wants sex, it's a woman's duty to oblige. Before the formal commitment, the woman wants to do it to please her man, (or vice versa) but somehow after it becomes a *duty*, it can be seen as a chore, one more thing on the to-do list. This generally doesn't happen unless there is something else more entertaining, like.... children! \r\n\r\nChildren tend to take over a marriage and distract the couple from the most important person in the world - their partner. Children are important, but if the marriage should fail, they will suffer. The best thing anyone can do for their kids is love their partner, deeply and compassionately and patiently. But most parents these days, I find, don't think that way. They think about how to provide more and more for kids, which ultimately leads to a break-down in the couple relationship. Sex becomes less fulfilling. If you don't do it enough for your man, then you feel inadequate. If you do it, you feel like it's a chore and you resent it. \r\n\r\nThe cliche dynamic is the mother of 3 who cleans and washes clothes and cooks, and in the evening she gives baths to kids and then is just too exhausted to pay any attention to her mate. The kids honestly don't need all that attention. They can bathe themselves. The man can do some laundry. There are ways to avoid this, but sadly it traps many couples. \r\n\r\n> you hate your spouse, it kills your soul and leaves your heart black and cold.\r\n\r\nIt is a choice, not a rule. There will be hardship and difficulty and times that try your patience. That's a given. How a person responds to those challenges is a choice. A spouse can \"hate\" the person they married, or ... can respond with patience, compassion, kindness. Every day. Over and over. \r\n\r\n> pros and cons of marriage?\r\n\r\nFor a woman, there is no practical downside. In the USA, a married woman holds all the cards. If she decides to end it, she will get whatever she wants. All she has to do is allege abuse, and she will get the house, the money, the kids, everything. Even if she carried on an affair, she can blame that on the abuse. Allegations of abuse is a nuclear option that the man does not have. And the allegation need not be true, no proof is necessary. It works. There is no downside, practically speaking, for a woman. She can exit the marriage, materially much better off, with no risk. \r\n\r\nOn the other hand, spiritually and emotionally, there are obvious downsides to invoking the nuclear option. And even if she stays in the marriage, there are spiritual and emotional tests. People talked about these - waking up every day to the same person, warts and all. \r\n\r\nAside from the practical issues, married life can be very personally fulfilling. To make a lifetime commitment to someone is a very invigorating step. To live that commitment can be very inspiring, for a person in the right mindset. Some people get married for the healthcare benefits. I'm sure you can tell, I'm not a big fan of marriage-for-convenience. I believe in commitments, making and keeping them. \r\n\r\nIt's also a beautiful feeling to have someone make and keep that promise to you. \r\n\r\nOn the other hand, it's risky. If that person breaks their promise, it can be devastating to you. You can feel guilty because of the actions of someone else. You run the risk of feeling inadequate because of what someone else did, choices they made. Inappropriate but it happens all the time.\r\n\r\n> why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\r\n\r\nPeople don't believe in commitments anymore. \"Love is a choice\" is so true, but I don't wanna talk just about love. Marriage requires not just love, but a *commitment* to choose love. It's hard to keep that commitment, through everything, even in times when your spouse is not particularly lovable. \r\n\r\nI'm guessing you are a woman. Picture yourself in 20 years. Your boobs are sagging. You have 2 or 3 kids. Your hair is a mess, your skin is wrinkled, you can't seem to lose that 15 pounds off your ass. You have bags under your eyes. Your 40th birthday is around the corner. You drive a minivan with a dent on the side. Your neighbor friend has a great body, and it seems effortless for her. You feel like a schlumpf. Your husband appears not to care about much. He goes to work, makes good money, is great with the kids. But he watches sports on TV all weekend. He farts in bed. He's overweight too, and he's lost his hair. The whole thing is so ... routine. No excitement. Boring? Married to a fat, TV-watching bald guy? This is not what you had envisioned.\r\n\r\nThen your high-school sweetheart comes to town. He's divorced. He's lonely and he tells you you look the same as you did in 11th grade. He starts calling you by that old pet name you had in high school. You feel that old tingle you thought was dead forever. He pinches your ass and reminds you of the way you guys used to laugh in high school. He notices when you change your hair, the way your husband used to, but no longer does. He makes you feel young. The thought of escaping with him excites you. You know it's not possible, but you love the feeling. It's like a drug. There's no other comparable experience.\r\n\r\nWithout even thinking you are drawn to the excitement he brings. With him you are not a mother with 15 extra pounds and a minivan. You are the cheerleader from high school with your beau. So you focus on him, and even if you don't screw him, you are leaving your marriage. Every moment you spend thinking about this exciting guy, is another nail in the coffin for your marriage. You're killing it. \r\n\r\nYou're certainly entitled to excitement. But the thing is, you've prioritized it ahead of the commitment you made. You've presumed you cannot have excitement and commitment, and you've decided to throw off the commitment and get a little more excitement. \r\n\r\nIf you fess up, you will divorce and the marriage will \"fail\". If you don't fess up, your spouse will sense it anyway, your lack of care for him, and he will get that \"black soul\" thing going. Your marriage will be intact, but dead. After a while both of you will avoid the topic, refuse to even talk about it. You'll go through 10 years of pretending. \r\n\r\nI don't mean to blame the woman. The same scenario could happen with the man, and a colleague, etc. Either partner can walk away. Either partner can begin to dislike their life, begin to feel regret for time lost, and unfairly blame those feelings or that loss on the other. \r\n\r\nIt all comes down to keeping promises, really living the commitment. People who divorce cannot keep their commitments. \r\n\r\nYou have to love yourself fully, before being able to keep a commitment to love someone else.\r\n", "score": 5 }, { "body": "First post. Your question is interesting so here it goes:\nWhy I got married? same answer as everyone else. Love.\nI was 25. I am 38 now.\nI am glad I got married, but should've waited longer. \nPros: companionship, intimacy, sharing. The lifestyle change is great. I think something inside you begins to yearn for those things, so time for marriage is approaching, if all circumstances are there.\nCons: baggage, incompatibility, cultural differences. One thing I wish I'd done differently is to get counseling. My wife came from a different upbringing and a lot of things come to light after the fact. I now find myself with very little in common with my wife, she has many traits from her mother, which to me are undesirable. I wish someone had stopped and tell me \"look her family, thats what you're gonna get\". In a nutshell love itself blurrs things sometimes to make the right decisions.\nMany marriages fail due to selfishness. To me the true meaning of marriage is to make the other happy, not to obtain happiness. So once the honeymoon phase fades away selfishness begins and becomes your typical marriage. Add kids to the mix and there you go, misery with some sprinkles of happiness. The kids learn their ways and so the chain continues for ever more.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Here's what my father used to tell me:\n\"Marry whoever you want; just make sure she's not like your mom.[In terms of personality, beliefs, etc.]\"\nIt was stated as a matter of fact. Not as a joke or a rant.\n\nThe moral of the story is that your marriage is defined by *who* you are with, not by any meaning of the word itself.\n**SO CHOOSE WISELY**", "score": 4 }, { "body": "> why did you get married?\n\nI fell in love with this woman. I wanted to stay with her and learn from her and be with her and make love to her and raise children with her\n\n> how old were you/how long married?\n\nI met her in 2003. I was 40 at the time. I had been married before (twice). The first one was for 13 years. We got married very young and didn't know what marriage was. The 2nd was for 4 months. That was a rebound thing and a big mistake that cost me. My wife and I were married in 2005, still going strong now 5 years!\n\n> are you glad you got married?\n\nHonestly yes. There are days when I wonder what it would be like on my own, but 99.99% yes.\n\n> what are the pros and cons of marriage\n\nPros: you have a companion, someone to share with, someone to talk about stuff with, someone to sleep with, travel, eat, shop, plan, brainstorm, fall back on\n\nCons: their foibles, troubles, background, differences of opinion, different cultures, disagreements, misunderstandings\n\n> why do you think marriages fail\n\nSee Cons", "score": 4 }, { "body": "people overestimate their own contributions to household chores while underestimating others, so no matter how much work one does, the spouse is always going to hold animosity towards you for doing less than your share.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I will respond because I technically meet the criteria of being married... We are, however, separated, and would be divorced if not for the law requiring us to be separated for a year first. But I just wanted to answer the questions anyway...\n\nI got married because I genuinely loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Additionally, I believed that she truly loved me and wanted to do the same. We seemed to complement each other very well, and I felt like with her as a part of my life it made us both better people.\n\nI was 24, we were married about 2 years before becoming separated.\n\nYes. I went back and forth on how I would have answered that for awhile, but I am glad. Ultimately because it did make me a better person. Also, the aftermath of it created a lot of situations that never would have come about otherwise, which I am very glad came about.\n\nPros and cons.... to me the big pro is that you have someone to share everything with... including just your daily life. To me that was pretty awesome. Really if you're looking at it from a perspective of being married vs. living together but unmarried, I don't think there is a big difference other than simply legal or technical stuff. Marriage does not make people stop having sex or start hating each other. Lack of communication, time, and small things building up.. or simply allowing things to get stale make this happen. The only con I would see is if you are an extremely independent person, it would tie you down... you may not want to get married if this is you.\n\nI think there is one primary reason, which is that people are often looking for another person to fix them. During the initial part of a relationship they just stop seeing the things that are wrong with their life, then when it inevitably ends and they see their reality for what it is, they are still broken and that other person has not fixed them. Contentment can't be found in another person, and if you are not content in yourself, you have no business marrying anyone.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "> why did you get married?\n\nWe were in love and living together already with no intentions of marriage. She had a serious surgery and while in the hospital I realized that I had no legal rights and couldn't even visit her outside of normal visiting hours.\n\n> how old were you + how long have you been married?\n\n26, separated after 4 years\n\n> are you glad you got married?\n\nNot sure I'd say glad exactly. I feel like I learned a lot from it, and the only real negative is I wasted part of my life being committed to someone who wasn't willing to make the same commitment to me.\n\n> what are the pros and cons of marriage?\n\nPros - tax benefits, legal rights, etc. Cons - they are entitled to half your stuff. Anything else people say isn't directly related to marriage, just to /their/ marriage.\n\n> why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\n\nPersonally, I don't think it's realistic to depend on one person to meet all your emotional/sexual needs for the rest of your life. Add to that a bunch of fairy tale romantic concepts like true love, soulmates, etc and you have a bunch of confused people with no real model for working relationships.\n\nSometimes relationships just whither on the vine, turn toxic and die. Marriage makes it a lot harder to get out of these situations, hence the bad rap. I know some people will say you just have to \"choose to stay in love\" - but when your partner doesn't choose the same then you don't have many good choices.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "My wife and I have been married 6 years. \n\n> why did you get married?\n\nWe clearly loved each other, we definitely LIKED each other, and it was pretty clear that from our common interests and more importantly, our common opinions about kids, work, money, life in general, etc, that we were meant to be together. We also loved each others' families.\n\n>how old were you + how long have you been married?\n\nI was 25. She was 24.\n\n>are you glad you got married?\n\nI am absolutely, 100% happy I got married. Best decision I ever made (literally).\n\n>what are the pros and cons of marriage?\n\nPros:\n* you always have someone to talk to\n* you have a \"second brain\" to keep you from making stupid mistakes\n* more income (sometimes, not in my case b/c wife is a stay-at-home mom)\n* you never have trouble finding a date \n* stuff is cheaper for married people (better loan rates, cooking for two, etc)\n* sex (especially if you're trying to have kids)\n* being married is genuinely fun if you like - honestly LIKE - your spouse\n\nCons:\n* your spouse is always there - It's very important to make alone time for both of you\n* your \"second brain,\" while protecting you, also can tend to keep you from doing some fun, dangerous stuff\n* you can't date other people (obvious, but it needs to be said. This is a commitment!)\n* Your spouse's mistakes are also your mistakes\n* sex - it CAN happen less but it doesn't have to. Honestly any man who is complain that he isn't getting enough from his wife could definitely make some changes that would yield more action. You can't be lazy.\n\n> why do you think so many modern marriages fail?\n\nPeople a lot of times fail to think through marriage before they go through with it. I think couples should go through some sort of counseling before marriage, be it from a church (required in our case for the ceremony to happen) or a community organization, or a therapist, or a trusted friend. After the ceremony, a lot of people sort of give up on the relationship part of it. Continue to work for it. Date your spouse! Married people can take some things too seriously, especially MONEY. That leads to a lot of failures. Make sure you're on the same page about how money is used!\n\nOverall, I am very satisfied with my marriage. I love my wife and the life that we have built together and I wouldn't give it up for anything. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Alright, I am 26, and have been with my wife for 8 years now (high school sweethearts, married for almost 4 years). I got married because I couldn't (and still can't) think about how I would live without her for the rest of my life. \n\nSince we've been married, we've had our ups and downs, as well as two kids. There are lots of pros to marriage:\n\n* You will never be as close to another person. You can share your inner most secrets, confide fears, etc. You can get honest answers. \n* There's obviously tangible things like tax breaks and stuff.\n* If you've done it right, you live with your best friend.\n* This sounds strange, but I like the comfort and stability of marriage. Its nice to get home from work and not worrying about how you look or trying to impress someone and just being able to relax. Not only that, but sometimes that person will bring you a beer and rub your shoulders and listen to you vent about work even though she doesn't know the people you are talking about.\n* Assuming you are someone open to try new things, sex is great.\n\nCons:\n\n* I miss the chase. Or at least the thrill.\n* No matter who you marry, you'll find out that you hate some things about them, and you may have to live with those things for a long time. THEY WILL ANNOY YOU from time to time.\n* There will probably be dry spells. My son is about 6 months old, and her sex drive has been slow in returning. And it's killing me. Every other time in our marriage it's been pretty good though.\n\nWhy marriages fail:\n\nIt's a lot of things. I honestly think that too many people have no idea what they are getting themselves into. Everyone says marriage is a big deal, but they rarely comprehend how big a deal. It's sort of the same thing with kids. People always talk about how kids will change your life, but few understand exactly how much.\n\nI also think that people have unrealistic expectations. People expect that their spouses won't change or they will, they expect that everyday will be sunshine and rainbows, they think that relationships will just work, that their partner knows what they are thinking, etc. \n\nFinally, communication. This is the one that I can't say enough about. You really, really need to be open and honest with your partner. You also have to be somewhat objective. You ever try to give someone you love constructive criticism? Or it from them? It's very hard to not be angry with that person for being honest. If I get too fat and my wife is no longer attracted to me, I need to hear it. And vice versa. But that's tough to say. You've also got to keep each other as a top priority. Careers, kids, friends, social commitments, etc. *Occasionally*, those things are going to come before your spouse, but it should never be *usually*. If it's usually, you need to change your priorities or expect to have a strained relationship. \n\nAnyway, I could blather on forever about this. \n\nTL;DR relationships are tough. You do have to put some effort in. It isn't always going to be easy, but nothing that's worth it ever is. ", "score": 3 } ]
All this Conan talk reminded me of my favorite thing he ever did. The Walker Texas Ranger Lever. What is your favorite clip? Here's a couple.
[Great series, some of my favorites. ](http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/25440/Conan_O_Brien_Walker_Texas_Ranger_Clips.html) Conan's reactions are priceless. [Another great group](http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=558303429) [Walker told me I have aids](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdsTUcuD7YA&feature=related) [Walker kicks through windshield](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f67LgpJBPPE&feature=related) I couldn't find my all-time favorite, where the man kicks the pigeon, if anybody knows where that video is, let me know!
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[ { "body": "[Conan goes to Old Bethpage.](http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1259150534)", "score": 58 }, { "body": "My personal favorite is the one where he goes to Ireland. \n\nBut not because of the jokes he does, simply because of the fake black and white pics he shows during that segment. I haven't seen it in years and I'm laughing out loud just thinking about it.\n\nHOLY CRAP! Found it and it's not localized: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3G8zB80slTY", "score": 18 }, { "body": "[Staring contests](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz3MX_pB2Zo&feature=PlayList&p=8805BAC39C4A2308&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=69) and when [Triumph the Insult Comic Dog went to a Star Wars release](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugk37TvIR8E).", "score": 13 }, { "body": "The \"Walker told me I have AIDS\" bit is the funniest Walker Texas Ranger lever they had in my opinion.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Some of the funniest work Conan's done was his guest turn on the dearly departed *Andy Richter Controls the Universe*, as the heir to the company at which Andy works.\n\n[This is the only clip I could find](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J7fSt4vB24), but it's a great one.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I loved the war between him and Colbert/Stewart during the writers strike. Not because it was insanely funny but more because it completely destroyed anything else that came out during the writers strike. ", "score": 3 } ]
I Need Some Advice, r/beer.
My father's favorite beer is Heineken. I'm trying to introduce him to the wonderful world of micro-brews but I'm drawing a blank when it comes to one he'd enjoy. Considering his current drink of choice: do you guys have any suggestions for a beer he might like?
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[ { "body": "I think you should go with Victory's Prima Pils. It's more aggressive in terms of bitterness but it's not overpowering. It's crisp, clean, and refreshing. Those are probably the characteristics your father is used to in a beer. This will bridge the gap by providing that refreshing experience but with more bitterness and flavor than he's probably used to. ", "score": 13 }, { "body": "I'd look at a German or Czech-style pils. Heineken's distinctive taste is kind of skunky, and a lot of German and Czech pilsners have a similar quality, except obviously much more going on.\n\nVictory's Prima Pils is outstanding if you can get it. ", "score": 7 }, { "body": "The availability of a lot of great beers in the US varies regionally - generally, what part of the country do you live in?", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Before last year, my dad drank Bud Light *exclusively*. I tried for quite a while to coerce him into branching out to no avail.\n\nSo, my strategy was to first get him out of the big box breweries. Plus, the first beer I pushed on him needed to be different from Bud Light, but not so different he'd hate it. I decided to go with my fall back beer, Yuengling.\n\nHe now drinks Yuengling near exclusively. /sigh Though, the good news is it's not 100% exclusive, and he's now prone to getting a \"wild hair\" and just trying something he's never had before. His most recent soiree into something new was Amstel Light. =\\\n\nBut at least his closed-mindedness is breaking. I recently started to homebrew and he's really interested in trying out my beers. I have a Belgian Ale that's over half-way drunk (need to set a few aside for him), and an ESB that will be ready in a few weeks. I'm hoping that will make him realize there are other good flavors out there.\n\nWe'll see. I'm working on it, but it's a long road when someone snubs all other beer besides the one they drink for so long.\n\nGood luck!", "score": 4 } ]
Looking for a new, high quality camera, details inside. Camera geeks please help! :)
So I'm a film student (technically electronic media) but i focused heavily on video production/film while I was completing my college training. I really wanted to go into this field immediately after school, but to no avail. I am currently working a job doing SEO work and have a few ideas for business model websites that I think would take off if I had good shots and my already decent web design skills. So this brings me to my actual question. I never really researched Single Lens Reflex or still cameras, because I loved shooting video. I know the concepts and how it would relate to still photography, but I never pursued it. So my question for all you photographers and anyone with a good opinion: What camera should I get? Are there any companies to avoid? I've heard great things about Nikon, followed by Canon. I am in the 2-3 thousand dollar range of price and I will consider anything suggested (within reason). This is more of a research project and it's not time sensitive, but any help you guys and gals could offer would be awesome. Thanks so much in advance. Or if you have any suggested reading/literature on the topic, I'd love to eat it up as well. Thanks a lot! Edit: grammar
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[ { "body": "I've only ever had one dslr, but I recommend it. The Nikon D90 is a nice camera for the money. You can get the body for $900 and use the other $2100 to buy some fast lenses. It also shoots 720p video (albeit in max. 5 minute clips). \r\n\r\nedit: prices in CAD", "score": 6 } ]
I will be doing my first session of field work this summer and I am a little nervous. Does anyone have any advice about field work for newbies?
I will be living with a Maya family in Piste, Yucatan this May for seven weeks for a study abroad program. During that seven weeks all of the students will be involved in actual field research on a specific topic of the Maya culture. I live in Michigan and have never been out of the country before. Actually, I've only been on an airplane twice before, so this experience will be a totally new one. And I am going alone as a fairly shy person. I'm not exactly sure what to expect, so I was wondering if any of you had any advice for me. Anything you have will be greatly appreciated! :)
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[ { "body": "First of all, seven weeks is not that long. I promise you, it will FLY by! I went to Israel for six weeks to work on a dig, and the end of the season came up on my so much faster than I'd hoped for or anticipated. \n\nSecondly, everyone there with you is probably gonna pretty much be in the same boat as you - they're all going to be far from home and a little nervous about meeting new people. Because you're all in the same situation, it's gonna be super-easy to get along with everyone, so don't worry about that. \n\nPack light for the plane, and definitely do bring several (light) books. Bring sunscreen, deodorant, a small first-aid kit and maybe some baby powder, and the rest should pretty much be common sense. \n\nFinally, have fun! Get out there and see what there is to see. Take pictures, take notes, bring home some souvenirs. It's going to be amazing. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Small scorpions are the bad ones. \n\nI don't know if the situation is improved but beer>water in a lot of places. Wool socks are good in pretty much any place and you will want shoes/boots that are comfy to walk/stand/crouch in.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Hi, I'm not a Mexican anthropologist but I know a few Mexican social anthropologists, including my wife who's a doctoral candidate at CIESAS DF in medical social anthropology.\n\nI'm an American and have been living in Mexico for 18 years so if you have any general questions about life in Mexico maybe I can help you with them. I don't know the specific area you're going to so can only help with general stuff.\n\nI hope your seven weeks living with a family you've never met goes well. I have known people, especially young people like yourself, who find it an amazingly wonderful learning experience to live directly in a family from a different culture. Others find it very difficult to adjust. So be prepared to try to adjust, and hopefully they won't be into some kind of dietetic or religious thing that is too radical for you (strict vegan Jehovah's Witnesses anti LGBT, for example). If you have any opportunity to find out about and arrange compatibility before going, do it.\n\nDon't worry about being shy. You will be put into places to meet people and you will. All, or almost all, will be really great except for your \"babysitters\" from your school in Michigan, i.e. the ones who are supposed to keep an eye on you. If you get a chance to go away with the locals when the \"advisers\" aren't looking, take it.\n\nIn a bachelor's program the main idea is for you to somehow learn that it's okay to go out and learn in an unfamiliar environment without being led around on a harness or noose by a \"teacher.\" In other words, go have fun. Try to find local people who enjoy doing what you like to do, whether its jogging, playing video games or basketball, picking up lovers, whatever you like to do is what you should be looking for. BUT, you are far from home, only there for a few weeks, and FREE! So if somebody suggests something you haven't done like exploring some caves or ingesting some strange plants or seafood, try it.\n\nHave fun! That's what this trip is all about. Watch a video of your favorite anthropologist lecture and realize: he/she did a lot of work on theory in libraries and such, but the whole reason they got all that research done was because they WENT NUTS and had a great time, maybe even got into a few drunken brawls and got in trouble with a lover or two, and that's how they figured out how the damn society was working.", "score": 3 } ]
Favorite frugal dishes that can be cooked in a single pot/pan?
I am a collegiate bachelor looking for dishes I can cook in a single pot. I.E. rice and beans with some diced meat thrown in.
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[ { "body": "Breakfast in one pot:\n\n- Cook down diced apple and banana in a saucepan with butter and cinammon\n- Add 1 cup of milk, raisins, and vanilla extract\n- When milk is warm, add 1 cup of oatmeal, brown sugar, and crushed walnuts\n- Stir together, eat when desired thickness is reached\n\nThis recipe can be pared down/spruced up to your liking. Orange zest or nutmeg make good additions as well.", "score": 33 }, { "body": "Roast Chicken:\n\n+ 1 whole chicken, cut into eight pieces.\n+ 2 beets, roughly chopped\n+ 1 sweet potato, roughly chopped\n+ 2 large tomatoes, cut in half\n+ 1 celery root, roughly chopped\n+ 1 bunch carrots, roughly chopped\n+ 1 onion, roughly chopped\n+ fresh thyme, basil\n+ feta cheese\n+ olive oil, butter\n+ 1 cup white wine\n\nPreheat oven to 400 degrees. Place potatoes, carrots, onions, beets and celery root at the bottom of a large ceramic pot. Season with salt, pepper and garlic. Cover with olive oil, a bit of butter and feta cheese. Place halved tomatoes on top of root vegetables along with thyme and other fresh herbs. Place some olive oil, salt, pepper, smoked paprika and chopped basil/thyme underneath the skin of the chicken pieces. Place a bit of butter, salt and pepper on the chicken skin so that it will get nice and crispily delicious. Place chicken pieces on top of tomatoes. Pour wine into pot. Then just slide into the oven with a probe thermometer in the chicken breast and bake until the chicken is to temp (I usually slide it out when it hits 158; sometimes I'll take the smaller pieces of chicken out to prevent overcooking as they take less time than the breast meat; really it's one of those things where you have to listen to the food). Make sure to let everything rest at least 15 minutes before eating. \n\nThe point here is that the juices from the tomatoes, wine and chicken mix together and soften all the root vegetables, leaving you in pure taste heaven.", "score": 26 }, { "body": "Get yourself a big pot of some sort. Also, get a chicken, and cut that motherfucker up. Mince some garlic, a little olive oil, some achiote, coriander, cumin, whatever (be creative) into a paste. Rub it on your chicken. In that big ass pot, heat a little olive oil. Throw the chicken in, and brown him up real nice. Toss some vegetable on top; I like to use mushrooms, onion, peppers, tomatoes, etc. but whatever dude, use what you have. Let it cook for a little while, and toss some rice in there...get it all wet (at this point I like to hit it with a little lemon or lime), and all covered in the liquid there. Add a beer (or some wine, or water if you're mormon or recovering or something), and let it all cook down until the rice is tender. YUM", "score": 25 }, { "body": "Pot roast:\n\n* 1 Pork Roast\n* 3 Potatoes\n* 2 carrots\n* 1 celery\n* 1 onion\n* 1 garlic\n* season as you like\n\nCook in crock pot for 3-4 hours. yummy!", "score": 15 }, { "body": "1 cup rice,1 can lite coconut milk (add water or some of the fruit juice to make 2 full cups of liquid), canned crushed pineapples/mangoes/etc. \n\nIf you have any peanuts, cashews or other nuts around you can throw those in after. ", "score": 11 }, { "body": "Chili con carne:\r\n2 lb ground beef\r\n1 bag dried red kidney beans*\r\n1 large onion\r\n1 large can crushed tomatoes\r\n1 small can of tomato paste\r\n2 cloves chopped garlic\r\n1 tbs chili powder \r\n1 tsp salt\r\n1 tsp black pepper\r\n1 tsp ground cumin\r\n1/2 tsp cayenne pepper \r\n1/2 tsp onion powder\r\n1/2 tsp dried cilantro\r\n1/4 tsp oregano\r\n\r\nAdd just enough water or your favorite beer to cover the mixture.\r\nCook in crock pot until beans are tender.\r\n\r\n*soak beans in water overnight to reduce cooking time. \r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nI prefer my chili on the slightly nuclear side, so I usually include dried chipotle peppers, fresh jalapenos, and a few habaneros.\r\n", "score": 8 }, { "body": "I make a one-pot stuffed pepper.\n\n1. Make some rice. Mix in whatever veggies you like. I use mushrooms and jalapeños.\n2. Stuff the pepper. Top it with cheese. It's okay if you have leftover rice stuffing in the pot.\n3. Put some tomato sauce in the pot, right in with the leftover rice stuff.\n4. Put the pepper in the tomato sauce, open side up.\n5. Steam the pepper for half an hour.\n6. Eat the pepper, and use the tomato sauce for pasta tomorrow.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "My girlfriend and I just had this great lentil soup last night.\n\n* 1 cup dry lentils \n* 2 tablespoons olive oil \n* 1 medium yellow onion, chopped \n* 2 cloves garlic, minced \n* 1 quart beef broth \n* 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce \n* 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme, crumbled \n* 1 bay leaf \n* Salt to taste\n* 2 medium carrots, peeled and finely chopped \n* 2 celery ribs, finely chopped \n\nCook it in a pot until the lentils are soft. I normally don't like lentils, but this smelled and tasted great. Side of corn bread is a big plus too.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Here's an article I saved from many years ago. I don't know the original author:\n\n****************************************************\n\nThe following is a Master Recipe for easy Skillet Meals. This is also a great way to use up leftovers or clean out the frig and cupboard.\n_______________________________________\nSKILLET MEAL ~ Master Recipe\n\n\nChoose ONE food from EACH of the following four groups:\n\nBREADS & CEREALS\n(1 cup raw)\n\n* Macaroni\n* Spaghetti\n* Rice (white or brown)\n* Noodles\n* Bulgar\n* Any pasta\n\nSAUCE\n(1 can soup plus 1 1/2 cans milk or water)\n\n* Cream of Potato\n* Cream of Chicken\n* Cream of Celery\n* Cream of Mushroom\n* Tomato Soup\n* French Onion Soup\n* [or Golden Mushroom]\n\n(1/2 to 1 cup cheese of any kind, can be stirred into the sauce at the end of the cooking time.) [--optional]\n\nMEAT, POULTRY, FISH OR BEANS\n(1 pound or 1/2 cups COOKED)\n\n* Chopped beef\n* Chopped pork or ham\n* Ground beef or turkey\n* Chicken\n* Turkey\n* Tuna\n* Salmon\n* Mackerel\n* Beans\n* Frankfurters\n* Keilbasa\n* Eggs\n\nVEGETABLES\n(1 1/2 to 2 cups canned, cooked or raw)\n\n* Carrots\n* Peas\n* Corn\n* Green beans\n* Lima beans\n* Broccoli\n* Spinach\n* Mixed vegetables\n* Celery\n* Green pepper\n* Whatever you have around\n\n\nChoose one food from each of the four groups above. Stir together in skillet.\n\nSeason to taste with salt, pepper, soy sauce, onion flakes, garlic, or whatever spices you enjoy.\n\nBring to a boil.\n\nReduce heat to lowest setting. Cover pan and simmer 30 minutes until pasta or rice is tender. Stir occasionally to prevent rice and pasta from sticking. Stir in cheese, if desired. Serve.\n\nMakes 4 to 6 servings.\n\nTo Bake in Oven:\n\n1. Mix all ingredients in casserole dish and cover tightly.\n2. Bake at 350 degrees for about one hour.\n___________________________________\n\n[Example:]\n\nINTERNATIONAL SAUSAGE SKILLET\n\n1/2 - 1 pound Keilbasa (halved length-wise and sliced thinly) - I use turkey\nKeilbasa\n\n8 ounces dry pasta (we use twists, shells or medium-size tubes)\n\n1 16-ounce can Italian-Style Stewed Tomatoes (cut up and do NOT drain)\n\n1 can French Onion Soup\n\nIn skillet, brown Keilbasa slices. Then prepare meal per instructions above.\n\nThis is YUMMY.....!!!!! \n", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Frittatas!!!\r\n\r\nDiced garlic and veggies in oil in cast iron pan. Add egg mixture put in the broiler.\r\n\r\nMy favorite frittatas\r\nMake hash browns in the cast iron/ put in red pepper and onions/ add aspargus tips/ add beaten eggs and water(1 tbs per egg)/ add cheese let it sit on the stove for one minute without mixing add a few leaves of basil and put it in the broiler to brown the top.\r\n\r\nCan be reheated!!!! So easy and so good. You can add anything to a frittata. I make a fritatta with the leftovers from the fridge.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "1 packet of red beans & rice mix (Louisiana brand is good...Mahatma has a good mix as well) \n1 pack (2 count) andouille sausage (I prefer Aidells' Cajun Andouille) \n1/2 to 1 small onion, finely diced\n\nDice up the andouille into 1/2\" cubes. Dice onions. Start beans & rice mix to cooking as per instructions on the package. Add onions and sausage. Finish cooking as per RB&R instructions.\n\nAbsolutely delicious and enough to serve 2 adults (I can eat the whole thing in one sitting sometimes...but I can eat more than most). It's not exactly *frugal*, but if you're single, it can be 2 (maybe 3) quick meals worth of food...which brings the overall cost down.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Tilapia is three bucks a pound frozen where I live. Toss a fillet in a skillet with a bit of coconut oil, cilantro and diced green onion. Cook until the fish flakes, then serve with a bit of mustard and a side of rice.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I often prepare miso soup for lunches and weekday dinners when I'm too lazy to make anything else. Unlike the miso that restaurants serve, I probably throw in four times the amount of tofu, wakame and scallions for an adequate amount of flavor and protein. You can add any vegetable to that soup though; the most important ingredients are the miso and dashi stock (or instant dashi if you don't mind the MSG). Just something to add a bit of variety to your soup menu. :) \nEdit: I forgot to add it only costs me $1.20 to make 2 cups of soup!", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Roast chicken and potatoes is a favorite of mine when funds are tight. You can basically buy whatever cut of chicken you can afford, brush it with a little oil or butter, season it with whatever sounds good to you (salt and pepper is fine if that's all you have). Cut up some potatoes (either peeled or with the skin on, whatever you like) and roast the whole thing in the oven until the chicken and potatoes are cooked through. Sometimes I toss some carrots in, too. I don't really cook using recipes, especially when it's one of those 'I have no money and four people to feed' type meals :)\nEdit: If you're looking for a good pan that can do the work of a few pick up a cast iron skillet. It works as a skillet, it can go into the oven to roast meat or bake corn bread and biscuits and you can even use it on the grill in the summer to cook outdoors. We put ours directly on the coals to make fajitas and bratwurst when the summer is too hot to cook indoors.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "A classic pot roast recipe;\n\npot roast \n\n 2 envelopes Lipton Onion Soup Mix\n\nonions\n \ncarrots\n\n potatoes\n\nwhatever else you like in it - turnups, celery, celeriac, etc. \n\nWhat makes it so easy and a classic, is the onion soup mix.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Jambalaya is an easy one; darn tasty too. One that will require more attention, planning and time is Paella. Two massive benefits to this dish:\nA) You can almost literally throw what you already have in the fridge into a pot with rice and saffron and call it paella. Quality will vary here.\n2) This is my seduction dish. I have peeled many panties with a well-prepared one. In fact, in my circle of friends, it's well known that if you get invited over for dinner and it's paella, there's gonna be some shtupping. It's a great one to prepare as a group with a bottle of wine during, as well as after, cooking.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Fried Rice\n\n* Steamed Rice I made the night before\n* BACON\n* Whatever frozen veggie mix I have in the freezer \n* Soy Sauce\n* Rooster Sauce\n* Leftover Meat (anything, fried chicken, pork ribs, hot wing (de-boned))\n* Egg\n\nI cook the bacon first, then let it sit on a paper plate and drain all but the last bit of grease. Then throw in your frozen veggies if your using them and let them get going, throw in rice and meat once the veggies thaw and start to cook. Then once rice is browning, throw in egg and once egg is ready throw in your cooked bacon. Finish it off with as much rooster sauce as you want when it all looks nice and done.\n\nI do this about once a week since I usually steam rice and veggies at least once a week, and it is a great way to use all those leftovers and frozen veggies just sitting around. Use a lot of veggies and less rice to get a healthier dish.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "The National dish of Poland: [Bigos](http://polandpoland.com/bigos.html). This dish is absolutely delicious. I would skip the apple and prune in this recipe, and use 2 cans of plum tomatoes. I have made this dish a bunch of times, and the apples and prunes just don't taste as good as more tomatoes.\n\nYou simply cut everything up, and throw it into a pot, and wait for a few hours. If you pre-cook the meat, it can be done in 30 minutes. It freezes very well also. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Zatatrains jambalaya:\n\n1 box of Zatarains Jamabalaya\n1lb of smoked sausage (kilbasa, cocktail wieners, whatever)\n \ntakes about 30 minutes costs less then 5 bucks.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Two favorites:\n\nBaked ziti:\nThrow some uncooked ziti noodles into a pot of boiling water. Boil until nearly done, and drain. Put noodles back in pot or shallower baking pan and layer with sauce, cheese (ricotta, mozzarella, whatever), any meats you have handy, and whatever else Italian foody stuff you have. Bake it until it looks good and melty.\n\nShepherd's pie:\nBrown and season ground beef. Add a can of cream of whatever soup, a can of water, and whatever frozen/left over veggies you like. Cook it all up until it looks good and layer mashed potatoes (instant work fine) on top with shredded cheese. Bake it until it looks like lasagna does when that's done.\n\nBoth of these can be frozen very well. I make huge vats of both and freeze for weeks of lunches.", "score": 3 } ]
I'm going to go visit CERN tomorrow , and I need questions to ask the scientist there. Suggestions?
Me, and 27 other students from my physics class, are going to visit CERN in Switzerland tomorrow. We'll visit the ATLAS, one of the detectors on the LHC, along with the Antiproton Decelerator there. We'll also hear about the Grid, which is some kind of evolution of the Internet, I believe. I'm absolutely certain you people have questions you would like to ask the professionals at CERN, and I'm offering myself as a vessel for your questions. If I get any worthwhile questions/answers, I will collect them in another submission. So, questions away! PS. I would appreciate it if you would try to make the questions easy to understand, or explain them properly, as it will be hard to ask a question if I don't understand it properly. And it will probably be even harder to understand an answer to such a question :) EDIT: Allright, I'm leaving now. Thanks for the questions, see you on sunday!
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[ { "body": "I think the most important question would be \"What would it mean if you don't find the Higgs Boson?\"\n\nIf what we believe about the fundamentals of the Universe is incorrect, what other theories do we have? Can we even test our other theories or would we need to go back to the drawing board?", "score": 23 }, { "body": "Personally, I'd find Brian Cox and get him to say \"water\" over and over again. \r\n\r\nwu-tuh\r\n\r\nOn a more serious note, I'd ask if there's any need for any particle accelerators larger than the LHC, and if so, what they would be looking for. The Higgs is so often called the final puzzle piece, I would like to know what their next step would be if we do or don't find it. Would a larger accelerator be useful, and for what?", "score": 9 }, { "body": "I'd like to know if anyone is actually holding onto the theory that their experiments are actually being sabotaged by a quantum future that is causing issues in this time line to prevent discovery of the boson.", "score": 9 }, { "body": "Some questions to ask are: if the LHC is so important, what is the importance of the the Antiproton Decelerator?\nWhat questions are the LHC experiments hoping to answer?\nHow much power do the various accelerators and experiments draw?\nWhy does CERN need to use so much superconducting technology?\nIs it true that a man at CERN invented the World Wide Web?\nWhy is CERN helping to create the Grid, and what is it?\nHow, on a basic level, can particle detectors possibly detect all these tiny particles?!\n\n(I'm a PhD student at CERN, and I have no idea what educational level you are, so I've tried to give you pretty open-ended questions that can be answered at any level from high school to post-doctoral! I'd also add that ought to just ask any questions you want or can - the more you ask, the better!)\n\nEnjoy the trip, hope the snow doesn't make travelling too hard.", "score": 8 }, { "body": "If I wanted to go back in time to sabotage a piece of scientific equipment, what kind of pastry would be best to use? Croissant or cheese danish?", "score": 6 }, { "body": "\"You know Jonas Rademacker? from LHCb?\n\nWell, one of my mates from Reddit got drunk with him at a uni christmas party and they sang '99 luftballon' extremely loudly in german.\n\nIsn't Jonas a legend?\"", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Scenario: You show up at a local bar looking depressed, wearing your LHC badge and pocket protector. You spot some hot chick and approach saying, \"Today, our project started a resonance cascade that will destroy the entire planet and we all have 4 hours to live. Would you like to spend that time in passionate love making?\"\n\nAsk if they tried it and if it worked.", "score": 3 } ]
IAmA father of a 7 year old son with autism...
he has a twin sister and a 2 year old younger sister. He is in the special education system of the local public schools and making great progress. He has both [immediate and delayed echolalia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia). AMA. edit1: We had suspicions that something wasn't quite normal when he was around 1 yo. When he was 3, we were really convinced and getting ready to look into finding someone to help us figure out exactly what that was. Our school district happens to have an early screening test they do at that age. He "failed" the test and the more formal retest and started public preschool a couple months later. Around that time, we had him looked at by the pediatrician and a psychologist-type person (can't remember the official title).
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[ { "body": "Here is a question that will get down-voted, I don't care guys, but I hope I'm not offending OP in asking; if you knew your son was going to be autistic would you want your wife to have an abortion? ", "score": 84 }, { "body": "You sir, are an everyday hero. I could not imagine how difficult it is to have an autistic son; raising a child with a disability takes a special kind of love and patience that many people do not have. Best of luck to you.", "score": 27 }, { "body": "Thanks for doing this AMA. I'm a pediatric neuropsychologist, so one of the things I do is evaluations for children who might have autism. \n\nI'm always curious about what types of information parents are hoping to get out of an evaluation. I know that a lot of times people going through the evaluation process for the first time do not know what to expect. When your son participated in the evaluation, did you have any expectations about what the evaluation might tell you? Were there questions you had that did not get answered? Or, looking back on it now, do you think anything else would have been helpful about the evaluation process? \n\nAdditionally, if your son were to participate in a follow-up evaluation, what kinds of questions, if any, would you be hoping that an evaluation could answer? Thanks!", "score": 11 }, { "body": "Are you pro Jenny Mcarthy? Meaning do you blame vaccinations?\r\n\r\nAlos best of luck to you and your family. I cant imagine how hard it must be for you guys.", "score": 9 }, { "body": "Congrats on posting. I was tempted for a while but you got there before me. :) . I am not sure what the rules are, so rather then a new link if you don't mind I'd post as a response here. He sounds similar to my son.\n\nMy son is diagnosed with ASD. He is currently 5 years old. Around age 1 he seemed like a normal baby. It was closer to age 2 that we felt something was wrong and got him checked up. \n\nHe would not talk to anyone, would not interact in anyway. Eat certain foods. Shows and food times had to happen at a certain time. He had an obsession with jigsaws. Was very good with computer games (teaching him shapes, numbers, letters) which he was quite ahead for his age. Only tallking he did was echolalia phrases.\n\nHe was in playschool but never actually played with the kids at all. Would treat kids as if tools for his means, or ignore them. \n\nIt was the no interaction with anyone that was scary. At first we thought he was deaf. We brought him to a place to get his ears tested. Straight away they knew he wasn't deaf but it was clear he wasn't fully understanding language. While I could communicate with him, the doctor forced me not to give any \"body language\" to my son. Once we did this it was evident he didn't understand. \"Go sit in the chair\" which he normally understood, instead he picked up the chair and gave it to me. \n\nAfter this we got seen by a number of specialists working together. \n - Occupational Therapist (OT)\n - Child psychologist (CP)\n - Child Nurse. To check him over generally.\n - Language Therapist (LT)\n - Social worker (she was for us) \n - Doctor (oversaw them all)\n\nThe OT went over testing things like throwing, jumping, normal jigsaws, threading string and a few other tests. Overall he was OK but needed development in some areas.\n\nThe LT went through with him and it was obvious from the start he had no language skills at all. \n\nThe CP did a number of tests with him. First let him play with a doll house to see if he would treat the characters as objects or [Anthropomorphise](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropomorphism) them. Passed that, although he just copied what he learnt in playschool. \n\nShe then gave him cars, which he lined up in a straight line (which is symptom a child will do with toys). Also jigsaws, but these had not notches. If you recognized the simple picture it was easy, but he could not do them. He wasn't seeing the picture. Actually frustrated him. She did a few other things with him (drawing pictures, asking to recognise pictures). \n\nAt the end of the assessment which was the final diagnoses they set up training for us. \n\nLT - Taught us the absolute basics of [PECS](http://www.pecs.org.uk/). It is a picture based language system. Let me say it can be quite complex to learn (I have done professional training on it, and I would not class myself as an expert). There are other systems out there. For example my son switched over to [proloquo2go](http://www.proloquo2go.com/) with ease after the pecs training. Even though he doesn't use as much he still falls back to it. \n\nOT - Gave some exercises to do to help improve his motor functions. Simple things like ripping paper, opening jars, cutting with scissors, threading needles. Other simple games to help him get stronger. Even things like helping in the kitchen (buttering bread, mixing). \n\nNurse - Did home visits to check to see how we were getting on. \n\nSocial Worker - She was basically for us. Not for my son. When you get the news it can be quite devastating, if like us didn't hit us for a few days. She interviewed us to see if we were suffering from stress/depression. Also giving advice on support groups and helping to arrange who we talk to about setting up the school. Also put us into an [Early Bird](http://www.nas.org.uk/earlybird) program. \n\nWe got him into a special needs school which helped a lot. The Early bird was great. Helped us to deal with it further by meeting other families with children with Autism. As well as understanding how the condition works for the child and how to recognise, understand and react correctly to situations. \n\nFor example, you mention echolalia. For a lot of kids the repeating of the term can be trying to tell you something. So I would examine what the situation and try to say what he wants to say. For example he may say \"dad car\" over and over at the front door which means \"When is the car coming for school?\". \n\nThe school and training has helped a lot. He is outgoing, joins in games with people and is starting to talk more. Still uses picture language a little and we have issues related to patterns (does not like breaking them). But a nice polite kid who is now very friendly. \n\nFor parents who may suspect their child is off. **GET THEM CHECKED OUT**. \n\nThe sooner your child is diagnosed and you work on teaching/dealing with it the better it is for the child. At best they may tell you nothing is wrong. It is better to know sooner then not at all. \n\nSecondly, if like me when I first mentioned the situation to my family their concept of Autism was \"Rainman\". Do not panic. Autism varies greatly. Many with proper teaching can lead normal lives. Some do and do not even realize it. \n\nI'd recommend watching \"[My Family and Autism](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHwP48RXJLs)\" about a woman Jacqui Jackson raising 7 kids, 4 of which are in various levels of Autism. \n\nAlso \"[A for Autism](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXs-0xYv32c)\". Gives an insight to how Autistic kids see the world. Lastly \"[The woman who thinks like a cow](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46ycu3JFRrA)\". \n", "score": 8 }, { "body": "My 10 year old son has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of Autism.\n\nWhy do people put those \"Autism\" awareness bumper stickers on their cars? Do they ask their kids first?", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Best of luck to you.\n\nDid you and your wife take any fertility drugs while attempting to have your first child?", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Have you considered in-home ABA therapy? I've been involved with a couple service providers and have seen kids make amazing growth, especially when what happens at school syncs up with what is being done at home.", "score": 3 } ]
DAE hate Adam Sandler?
Am I alone in thinking Adam Sandler is the worst thing that can happen to any movie or show? And why does he keep saying 'weed'? Any other Sandler haters out there? Also, Owen Wilson is a close second on my hatred list. Edit: I don't 'hate' the guy personally, I hate how he always plays the same retarded character, I hate his comedy / movies / everything hes ever done.
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[ { "body": "NO! I absolutely LOVE Adam Sandler. Been in love with him ever since hearing his first album \"There all gonna laugh at you!\" His CD's are great and his movies are hilarious. And as somebody pointed out....he brought his friends along for the ride! As Henry Winkler once said, \"His heart is as big as Nebraska.\" He is truly a humble and compassionate fellow and I feel sorry for anybody who doesn't like him. If you don't like Tom Cruise....that's understandable, but Adam Sandler? Give me a break. Find something else to waste energy on hating.", "score": 23 }, { "body": "His older stuff was good, and some of his newer stuff is getting better. Theres some stuff in between that was kinda lame though. ", "score": 8 }, { "body": "I don't think any of us know the guy, but from what I hear (from people that DO know him), he's said to be one of the nicest celebrities in Hollywood. ", "score": 7 }, { "body": "I let my 4 year old watch a recorded copy of Billy Madison (with all the adult situations removed) and he loved it. Became a staple of his viewing to the point that he was quoting it during everyday life. If I would look at him too long, he would say 'stop looking at me swwwwwwaaaan' and he would frequently yell at his sister 'YOU BLEW IT!!!!!!!!' if she died on a video game.\n\nThis is true, I swear it. Being quite a movie quoter myself, I couldn't be more proud.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I don't like him at all. He has made some funny movies, but mostly they are all about him being a frustrated angry guy. He is just not appealing.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Where does he keep saying 'weed' at? What specifically don't you like about him? I'm just wondering.\n\nHe's really a nice guy that watches out for his friends as much as he can. I can kind of see not liking his comedy, but why the hate? I think you need to find someone a little more deserving to focus all of your hate on.", "score": 3 } ]
When/how do we get the old menu splash screens back?
The war update was fun and all, but I'm getting sick of looking at the Soldier and Demo in the throes of smoldering sexual tension every time I start the game. Is there any way to get the old RED/BLU splash screens back?
18
[ { "body": ">but I'm getting sick of looking at the Soldier and Demo in the throes of smoldering sexual tension every time I start the game\n\nBlasphemy!!!", "score": 6 }, { "body": "http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1104365&page=2\n\nThere are posts here linking to some files which will restore the old backgrounds and remove the \"war update\" notice from the screen.", "score": 6 } ]
Just got a ps3, do you rent or purchase games?
I just got a ps3, and I am quickly realizing games are expensive. Do you rent? Gamefly? or purchase all your games?
8
[ { "body": "I personally *hated* Gamefly. I found it was a waste of money. They were slow, unhelpful and never had the AAA games available even remotely close to the release dates. I live in a large metro area and was pissed about the turn around times. Gamefly is *not* Netflix. \n\nI buy all my games now. I know this isn't an option for everyone but by using Best Buy Rewards and Amazon you can save your self some bucks. ", "score": 13 }, { "body": "I use this site http://www.cheapassgamer.com/ \n\nUse the trend option wait for your game to get to the correct price and buy. I then try to sell or trade those games for other games. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I rent, buy new and buy used. If a game can be mostly 100% completed within a week or 2 rental, and doesn't have much replay value I will usually rent. Ratchet & Clank for example, love these games, but I can beat them usually in a week and they do not have much replay value. Because they are great games I will usually want another play through, so I will buy it used or when the price drops months later.\r\n\r\nSports game you pretty much have to buy, used or new, sports games are very deep and have a longer learning curve so a week or 2 rental just won't due. Then again, you can rent them to see if they are worth 60$, if so, buy it.\r\n\r\nFirst day purchases are killer. Games with massive hype (MW2, UC2) and you KNOW will be good and renting them just wont due. God of War 3 will be my next first day purchase.\r\n\r\nThe problem I ran into is I have 22 games and have only beaten a couple of them. Now that I look back I should have picked up a game, beaten it, and then get another. Now I have a mound of games to play and no time to do it.\r\n\r\nwww.Giantbomb.com and other quality game reviews sites are your friend, they will give you a good idea on how you want to go about picking up your next game.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I buy games new as well as trade on Goozex.com. Goozex is great, you can trade in games as well as movies and get points for them which you use to get other games. The caveat is that you need patience with Goozex as it can sometimes take some time to find a match since it is based on a queue. If 100 other people want to trade a game in then it has to match them with someone that wants it before it gets to your place in line. Much better then Gamestop though since you pretty much get the real value of the game and not the anal roto-rooting like you do at Gamestop.", "score": 3 } ]
Repository for Linux Kernel configs?
I use Arch Linux, and I think it is pretty good overall. One think that is really nice is that there is a user submitted repository so you can (essentially) find packages for tons of stuff. The most helpful one is a kernel configured for my laptop. This makes booting up much faster. I have noticed that most distributions have just a generic kernel, and I have also noticed that lots of people use laptops, and the hardware for laptops is pretty consistent. So I have a three part proposal. A standard XML file for kernel configurations. A website for people to upload these. And a program to assist people in compiling the kernel (maybe different for each distribution.) I imagine the XML would be quite simple: <linux-config> <for> <name>Aspire One </name> <model>110L </model> </for> <kernel> http://www.kernel.org/pub/linux/kernel/v2.6/linux-2.6.32.2.tar.bz2 </kernel> <patches><patch>http://awesome.com/bug/fixes/23434341.patch</patch> <command> -P0 </command></patches> <config-file> http://www.linux-configs.org/your/lap/top/config</config-file> </linux-config> For the Website people could submit the configs and the html files, people could vote up different versions and make suggestions. Then there could be a program that assists the user in compiling and installing the kernel and modules. All the hardware would be presumably taken care of but it could ask about what filesystems the user wants to support, any peripheral devices and so forth. Do you guys think this is worth the effort? Any suggestions? Maybe it already exists? **edit** Thanks I learned a lot. 1) So I didn't know about makelocalconfig, so that seems to be enough for quick compiles. 2) Accepting patches does sound like a huge security risk. (I didn't even think of that.) I didn't express this clearly but the patches are really what I thought the biggest benefit would be. Maybe I have had bad luck but both of the computers I have had needed (at first) some patch to get all of the hardware to work. It still seems like a wasted effort if everyone who buys a certain model has to go get the sourch find the patches and configure it. 3) My computer boots up about 4s/20% faster with the custom kernel. So it really doesn't save that much time, but see above.
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[ { "body": "Why not just use the kernel .config file itself? I believe there's a commenting feature for it, just put the laptop model stuff in there, and distribute these config files.\n\nA new config file and a new tool would be harder to adopt. Something that would get more exposure is a site like tux mobile that didn't have tutorials, but just stored user config files. People could build kernels for their distribution the way they always do. If that gets popular enough, come up with some automated tools for new users.", "score": 17 }, { "body": ">Do you guys think this is worth the effort?\n\nCompiling a custom kernel is only really worth it for the learning experience.\n\n>This makes booting up **much** faster.\n\n[Citation needed], I compile my own kernels but there is little difference between the performance of mine and a generic modular kernel is about the same there is at most a ½s faster boot.\n\n>I have noticed that most distributions have **just** a generic kernel\n\nThey have a generic kernel and a whole host of precompiled modules that are loaded on demand according to your hardware, it's almost as if somebody had sat down and designed a system that allowed you to run a precompiled kernel on almost any hardware without a significant performance hit.\n\n>Then there could be a program that assists the user in compiling and installing the kernel and modules.\n\nYou mean like make? make localmod && sudo make install && sudo mkinitramfs -k <kernel_name> (or make localmod && sudo make dpkg && sudo dpkg -i ../<kernel name> && sudo update-initramfs) even the debian tool make-kpkg is just\n\n>a script which automates and replaces the sequence \"make dep; make clean; make bzImage; make modules\"\n\n\n>All the hardware would be presumably taken care of but it could ask about what filesystems the user wants to support\n\nmake localyes && make menuconfig, granted make local* arn't perfect because they require you to have a working modular kernel beforehand, but essentially what your describing is just a new make script.\n\nI'm all for making stuff easier, so go for it if you want but i doubt it will garner much interest as it caters only to the increasingly small number of people who insist on compiling their kernel but who don't understand enough of the kernel config to do it themselves. That said if your looking for interest your best bets are arch users (because you seam to love doing old stuff in new ways) and gentoo users (because it could be woven into a script to make the install process easier, in fact the old gentoo wiki may of had a number of sample .configs for just that purpose).\n\nIf you do end up going the website route, remember that configs are generally backwards & forwards compatible so within reason (a 2.6.1 config isn't all that useful) listing by hardware is more useful than by version or distro (other than security extensions distro can run almost the same kernel)\n\nregarding the XML file:\n\n1) your command isn't a property of your patch, something like <patch><source>#source</source><command>#full command not just P number</command></patch> would make more sense.\n\n2) it's essentially just a control/spec file, it would probably make more sense to just use a spec file (sRPM) or control file (debian) [see my previous point about arch users :P]\n\nbut as configs are forwards/backwards compatible i'd just call the whole thing off and concentrate on making a .config database and if that has any success, perhaps add a patch db (although most patches come with their own instructions, applying multiple can be tricky so a db of compatible patches might have some use)", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I think this is a terrible idea.\nModern kernels are modular for a fucking reason.\nIf you don't know what you're doing - the LAST thing you should be doing is downloading somebody else's kernel config.\nA generic kernel is FINE, the routines to detect hardware and load modules are also VERY FAST. I refuse to believe that your system boots up MUCH FASTER now.\n\n(I've always compiled my own kernels to be as lite as possible, but it really doesn't make a noticeable speed difference. It does a make a size difference though, but, again, not an issue with modules...)", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Well the kernel uses a .config file that represents your hardware based on your choices in menuconfig / qtconfig etc...so that's really all there is to it. It does the job you're looking for. I'm not sure you need to define a new XML specification for defining those options. Just have people submit them to you with their computer specification (e.g. Asus Eee PC 1000H) and then have a wiki like website where people can find their own hardware and download or improve these shared config files.\n\nIt is an absolutely fantastic idea though and I'd love to be able to share the \"best possible .config file with experts\". Then you could download it and without extra software just use the regular version of menuconfig to tweak it for additional hardware or scheduling algorithms.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I think the problem has been mostly solved with 2.6.32's ` make localmodconfig`, which checks the currently running modules and creates a `.config` for you.", "score": 4 } ]
Emotional Affair? Help Please.
Hello. So I've been with this guy (lets call him Josh) for about 6 months now. Things with Josh have been pretty cool overall and I really like him but there is something going on that worries me. I met him at an intensive job training. We got along great so much so that we got together. However, during that time there was a lady who we met there who I was sure liked him. I didn't think much of it. I thought he was whatever about her. Then I find out that they've become good friends. This would be cool but it's gotten to a weird point. She texts him ALL THE TIME. I'm not exaggerating. Every time I'm with him she's sending him texts. Morning, noon and night. Sometimes he won't respond to my texts and later when I meet up with him he's texting her giant paragraphs. And I'm like, "Ok you can't respond to me but you can respond to her?" She leaves him cute things on fb and he always responds back, sometimes flirtatiously. They hangout lots of times and he never tells me about it (the only reason I know of few of what I'm sure must be many is because of fb). I'm pretty jealous but I don't know if I should address this. I know that she must like him since no girl acts the way she does without being emotionally involved. I don't want him to think I'm one of those crazy jealous gf's but this is really bothering me. Could he be having an emotional affair? What should I do?
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[ { "body": "Stand up for yourself. If you're dating, he shouldn't be flirting with someone else. Period.\n\nAsk someone else who will tell you the truth to look at the situation and decide if they really are flirting or if you're over-reacting. Don't sugar-coat it, but don't infuse it with your slant either. you want the truth.\n\nEither you're going to get him to cut it out and focus on you, or you're going to cut him loose and let the two of them go play.\n\nLife is too short to deal with people who don't appreciate you. Be honest, and be true to yourself.", "score": 156 }, { "body": "> Could he be having an emotional affair? What should I do?\n\nHe is *absolutely* having an emotional affair - at least. If it's not already more, it soon will be.\n\n> I don't want him to think I'm one of those crazy jealous gf's\n\nWhat he's doing is unacceptable if you guys are in a committed relationship. Don't let yourself get talked into thinking that *you're* the one with the problem. I don't think I like this guy - he's treating you very disrespectfully!", "score": 51 }, { "body": "Take it from me, I emotionally cheated on my girlfriend of two years.\n\nHis story sounds exactly like mine...My problem was that I was completely oblivious until it was too late and maybe your boyfriend is similar.\n\nIt starts off as harmless texting. Then you start hanging out. The picture messaging (I guess through FB here), and long paragraphs. The problem occurs when you hang out with them and don't tell your girlfriend, which seems to have already happened. Sorry to break it to you but your boyfriend is already probably emotionally cheating. For some reason guys, myself included, thought at the time that if you weren't physically touching, it's not cheating (how wrong I was).\n\nConfront him about it and if he defends her then it's not a good sign. His obligations should be solely to you (assuming a serious relationship). You are not being the crazy girlfriend. In my opinion your boyfriend is acting EXACTLY as I did when I emotionally cheated so you are perfectly justified to bring it up. Prepare yourself for the worst. The biggest giveaway to me is:\n1. Not telling you when they hang out\n2. Paragraph texts\n3. Texting her over you\n\nJust know, guys sometimes emotionally cheat for stupid reasons. I believe mine was my lack of trust for women in general and I was going through a confusing time of finding my identity. It's really not you, it's probably him. The fact that you're approaching Reddit before your boyfriend shows you care for him and don't want to ruin anything; you take the relationship seriously. You are a dedicated girlfriend and your boyfriend isn't showing you the same. Move on and find a guy deserving of you.\n\nPM me if you want to talk more.", "score": 43 }, { "body": "How do you know he's not having an ACTUAL affair if he goes to see her without telling you?\n\n\nSeriously, dump this guy. He's keeping his options open. You know it, too.", "score": 17 }, { "body": "News flash: He has two girlfriends - you and her. She seems to be occupying him more. It may get to the point where he has to choose, and if you force him to, it may not be you he chooses.", "score": 16 }, { "body": "Good relationships come from voiced expectations and good communication.\n\nIf you expect that he will not flirt with another woman, you have to tell him this. If you expect that he should not have an intimate emotional relationship with another woman you should tell him this.\n\nMen, for whatever reason, like to believe that if it's not said, it's not agreed. You can deal with this by telling him, point blank, what you expect from his behavior.\n\nRelationships -- especially in America -- are loaded with assumptions and expectations that aren't talked about until they fail. But by then it's too late because failed expectations lead to hurt feelings.\n\nFigure out what behavior you would like him to exhibit, tell him, and let him choose whether he wants to live up to whatever level of commitment he makes to you. If he doesn't live up to it then you can make assumptions about how he'll behave in the long-term.", "score": 14 }, { "body": "I'd address it with him. It's perfectly reasonable to want to have a conversation about it. \"This friendship you have with girlX makes me feel uncomfortable. My instincts and experience as a women are telling me that she wants more than just a friendship with you, and I'm really starting to worry that you have similar feelings. Can we discuss this?\"\n\nIf he responds like a reasonable person, you should be able to come to an amicable solution. If he reacts like a spaz over it, weather he's having an emotional affair or not, he's not mature enough to handle a loving relationship and you should (imo) seriously consider breaking up with him.\n\nMaturity and communication are key pillars in a relationship. If you can't find either with him, you should be seriously examining what you want from this relationship and weather or not you think it's worthy.", "score": 13 }, { "body": "You should tell him how much it bothers you and have a talk about it. Don't be harsh, but certainly be honest. If he's spending more time with this girl, be it online or on text messages than he is with you, there's obviously something wrong. ", "score": 8 }, { "body": "Coming from someone who had an emotional affair once, yeah, he's doing it. The warning signs are all there. I would rush back to my room (this was in college) from dinner with my boyfriend to go talk to the guy, and stay up for hours talking to him on the phone, but I wouldn't do that with my boyfriend at the time. Of course, the guy was in England so I couldn't have hung out with him, but if I could have then it would have led to a physical affair too. \n\nThe rule of thumb is that your boyfriend (or girlfriend) gets the same amount of attention as you'd give your other friends. ESPECIALLY friends of the opposite sex. If they don't want to spend that much time with someone, then it's obvious they're trying to find a way to let you down easy. \n\nI've had a couple guys cheat on me before, and I've done it too. The flags are there, stop worrying that you're going to sound jealous because while he'll make you feel guilty in order to cover up his own wrong doing, a while after your relationship ends you'll realize you were right all along, and he can get the clap from her for all you care. \n\nNo offense, but the guy sounds like a grade a douche. Are you dating my ex? :P", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Are you gonna marry this guy & have his babies? No? Well ditch him. Now. This is a simple rule that's real easy to follow. There is no point in pointless relationships, you are merely wasting each others time. ", "score": 6 }, { "body": ">I don't want him to think I'm one of those crazy jealous gf's but this is really bothering me.\n\nFuck that. Making you the guilty party for calling you \"one of those jealous types\" is bullshit and a cop out. \n\nEither way you two need to talk about this. Maybe you're in a serious relationship here - but he's not? \n\nYour ages really have a lot to do with why this is or is not a big deal to one of you or the other. If you're late teens/early twenties, *and he is too*, there is a good chance you're doing what a lot of younger girls do - expecting a younger male to be *serious* about your relationship when he's not quite ready. \n\nMy advice to any early twenties female is - HAVE FUN! BE YOUNG! Don't tie yourself to someone who isn't tied to you! \n\nAnd if you are seeking something serious, date older. Sometimes significantly. \n\nWhen I was 21 I was in the army. My selection of men was basically \"which kind of meathead do you prefer this week?\" I was also a loser magnet. They were pretty immature. One such shining example of maleness I dated had a sweet brand new car - they key here is that the car cost him almost all of his monthly paychecks. He was up to his eyeballs in debt at 21. There was one who had 2 children and a divorce under his belt at 24. Another specimen turned out to be mainlining crystal meth - yep, in the military. \n\nOne sunday morning after the revelation of meth man I took a good friend of mine out for margaritas. I vowed never to date any men under 25 again. In a strange twist of fate I met the man who would become my husband two weeks later. He was 27, I was 21. He may not be perfect, but he's perfect for me. If I had met the same man three years earlier we probably wouldn't be married because where you are in life *does* make a difference. At 27 he had outgrown all of the whoring some men have a lot of fun with in their youth (which, he did). \n\nIf he had a girl who happened to be a friend I would not be comfortable at all with it - even though I trust him completely. It just isn't right.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Tell him how much it bothers you and if he cares more for you he should put an end to it.\n\nOne of my past ex-girlfriends had a guy that was constantly texting her. I confronted her about it and she assured me he was just a friend. 3 months later I find out she's cheating on me with him. Not trying to scare you, just saying that after my personal experience, I will never let another significant other communicate that much with another guy ever again.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "> They hangout lots of times and he never tells me about it (the only reason I know of few of what I'm sure must be many is because of fb). I'm pretty jealous but I don't know if I should address this.\n\nYou should. But IMO you should **just leave him**. If he is having secret contact with another woman, he is not worth the trouble.\n\n", "score": 5 }, { "body": "The man's either having an affair of preparing for one. Knowing the woman has a romantic interest should be enough motivation for him to cut off contact. If you continue to allow this, you'll live to regret it.\n\nEdited to add: there are such thing as platonic friendships. However- if you're concealing any visits/communications from your s/o, it's NOT a friendship.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "6 months is not a long time, I'm sure both of you can't be excessively committed at the moment.\n\nIf I was a girl I would be either drop him or be preparing to drop him.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I've actually had a similar problem before. I was the guy in that situation unfortunately, and I really had no idea that what I was doing was hurting my girlfriend, we were dating for 3 months at this time She ended up doing the best possible thing though:\nWe sat down for lunch one day, and she told me exactly how she felt, and that it bothered her that I talked to this girl so much. She never came out and told me not to talk to her, but she told me how much it bothered her. I stopped talking to this girl because I don't want to hurt my girlfriend. If you told him how you feel and how jealous it makes you, and if he really cares about you, then he'll change his friendship with this girl to be less intimate or cease talking to her altogether.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I've been in this situation before. Let's just say it's not going to work out with Josh. Even if you fight off his current 'friend', he'll just find another, because he is not ready to commit himself to one person.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "If only I could have gotten such good advice (as is on this thread) a year ago. I was in basically the same position, and I didn't confide in anyone that could give me honest advice. I confronted my bf, but he got angry every time I tried to explain my feelings. I began to feel crazy, insecure, and prudish all because he told me that he was doing nothing wrong. I couldn't see that it was a boundaries issue. If he doesn't quit this behavior *immediately* and show sympathy for your feelings, believe me, he isn't worth it. I ended the relationship and now can't even understand why I put up with it for as long as I did. I will never tell a guy that I am seeing how he should behave, but I will also never compromise my happiness and gut instincts again.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "You should bring it up so you can do this one thing:\n\nJust quietly ask how he would feel if you were acting like this with another man.\n\nFrom the response you'll be able to tell what your real situation is.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "You have to tell him directly that it is really bothering you. As a boyfriend he shouldn't be doing that, nor should girlfriends. He obviously like this girl. I would put my foot down and tell him that its less of her and more of you and if he cant do that then drop him like a bad habit. You don't deserve to be in a position like that. Also, maybe you should just drop him anyway he obviously doesn't have any common sense.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "You have every right to be jealous and concerned. Talk with him. Be firm and honest. If he gets on the defensive and gets upset, that is a not a good sign.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I have had this issue pop up from both sides. I've been Josh and I've been you. When I was Josh I moved on from the gal pal since it made my girlfriend so uncomfortable. When I was you, I got played, again and again.\r\n\r\nI am sorry that the issue is bothering you and I hope that you get it worked out in a way that is beneficial to your life.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Drop him drop him drop him drop him drop him DROP HIM for the love of god drop him. Why do you put up with it? \n\nThere are plenty of other people in the world and you're not so horrible that you don't deserve better.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Are you guys on a formal relationship? Just sounds like you two fell together and are dating casually, much like he's dating casually with the other girl.\n\nThis might come as a shocker, but if you keep on acting jealous and insecure, the other girl wins. Yep, it's a competition. If you don't think it is, just let him go, either way the result is the same.", "score": 3 } ]
How do I become a freelance web designer?
Over the past couple of years I've taught myself web design but I've done very little work for other people. I want to start working as a freelancer for other people to earn a bit of cash whilst at college. But I've no idea where to start. I've brought a domain and some hosting to set up a little portfolio but I've not got anything to put on it as of yet, all I can really do is advertise what I can do. So how does one become a freelance web designer from scratch? All I've got is an empty website at the moment, I need guidence. EDIT: Not sure if it's relevant but I'm confident in Javascript (jQuery), CSS, PHP and (X)HTML
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[ { "body": "It sounds like you're a web developer, not a web designer - in current lingo. Just bear that in mind when advertising yourself. ", "score": 18 }, { "body": "You may be confident in Javascript (jQuery), CSS, PHP and (X)HTML, but do you have any *design* experience? Building websites and designing them are not the same thing... you may want to source some programming jobs on craigslist instead of calling yourself a web *designer*...", "score": 15 }, { "body": "A lot of people recommend craigslist and spec sites (99 designs, crowdspring) that's just a way to work for shit cheap to nothing. I've found that the best clients come from IRL networking. Got a little brother? Go to his football games. design the helmet graphics, the kids ID cards, relevant flyers. lots of the parents are PTA members, talk about getting a site set up for them. I spent way too long chasing shit jobs on the internet before i realized that in person networking is a million times more efficient.\n\nStart a sole proprietorship or LLC, and get a DBA (doing business as) or trade name (check local laws about this stuff). That way you can start receiving checks in your company name to a company bank account. Adds a ton to your professional appearance + very handy come tax time. If you're making more than low 4 figures annually, i'd recommend filing, but you can dodge if you want to while you get set up (I did).\n\nGet business cards, make them sharp. Mine are half height, which made them easier to design, and EVERYONE i hand them to comments on their cool shape. It's like 40 bucks for 500. seriously low cost. Get a little showcase set up at your site, even if it's just a placeholder until you can build something big.\n\nAlways remember: Work for free, or for full price. Never for cheap.", "score": 10 }, { "body": "Lead-generation aside, you need a solid contract and patience. I've been a professional web developer for nearly ten years -- with a thriving freelance business -- and I don't have a personal site or a portfolio online anywhere (it's all word-of-mouth at this point).\n\nIf you're looking for potential clients, start small. Nearly every business owner wants a website but not all are willing to pay the fees associated with a professional site. Start with these people. Go into local shops and pass out a few business cards or troll local directory sites to find businesses that don't have sites or that have horrible ones and make them an offer. Once you get some momentum, offer a referral discount or equivalent to your existing customers and make sure they're happy with their site to encourage word-of-mouth leads.\n\nOnce you get proper momentum, you can sit back and wait for the customers to come to you. Sort of. Sometimes.\n\nIf you'd like any help getting a solid contract together, building proposals, talking process, etc. I'd love to help. The biggest hurdle for me getting started wasn't the work itself, but the processes and business shenanigans that surrounded it.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "If you have the chops, start with designing your own website.\n\nedit: after reading your posts, I think I should say: are you sure you want to go freelance? Your answer to wkdown about his suggestion to leverage some of your college relationships makes wonder if you have what it takes to be an entrepreneur.\n\nLet me dispel a few myths about working for yourself:\n\n- The pay isn't great. You may make a lot more per hour than all of your friends, but that does not account for self-employment tax and all the benefits you would get at a regular job.\n\n- You are not your own boss. You will have multiple bosses. And they will all expect you to work harder than their employees because they are paying you more per hour. The benefits and taxes don't seem to register for your clients. The only upside is, if you have enough, you can tell any one of them to go stuff it.\n\n- You will not work less than you do in a regular job. Unless you are independently wealthy, you will come to realize that the only way you are going to get ahead is by working more. That doesn't mean hammering out more sites, it means networking, advertising, taking consults for free to get work, etc.\n\n- It isn't easy.\n\n- All successful entrepreneurs have a series of failures in their wake. Are you willing to fail to get ahead? Are you able to take a failing situation and turn it into a winning situation?", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Sounds harsh, but be awesome and popular. They best way is to have to have worked at a lot of agencies / design houses and make lots of connections. If you left them with a good taste in their mouth, they will come to you for freelance work. I have a friend here in NYC, she does not look for work at all, art directors call and beg her to work -- remotely -- for them. She travels around the globe working on beaches collecting a Manhattan salary. She is hot shit though.\n\nI would stay away from the sites where you have to bid on projects, clients who do that are looking for the cheapest deal (India) and are probably really demanding too. When I was younger I got some gigs off craigslist, but they tended to be high expectation / low paying clients. \n\nGood luck!", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Look for some small internships to build your portfolio. You professors or department chair should have some ideas for you. That way, you can have some items for your portfolio.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I would start by meeting your local development shops in town. Try to find some of these businesses and partner with them to handle their overflow work...the stuff they can't get done on their own.\n\nYou need to start going around town meeting people and getting your name out. Get a nice business card, have a portfolio, and be consistent. Don't simply put all your work in your portfolio, just put your best work. Make it your place where you show off and then get to know your audience. What type of clients do you want...small business, large business, non-profit...whoever it ends up being find a niche that you are good at and is profitable and start marketing yourself to that group.\n\nIt takes about a year or two to really get settled, but once you get there it takes a lot of work to stay there. Freelancing isn't for everyone...for example, how do you plan to file your taxes? What type of business will you be LLC, Inc? Do you use a company name or own name?\n\nThere is always a lot of stuff to think about. There used to be a website freelanceswitch.com, but I'm haven't been there in years. They had a lot of good info about getting started and things to think about...they also had a good budget planner at one point.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I know this may not be the best place to ask this question...but...why not.\n\nWhen you're working with a client, doing freelance web/design work, how should the design process go? I find I have a hard time getting my point across that \"Logo A\" looks better than \"Logo B\" or \"Website A\" is so much better than \"Website B\". With my latest project it's seemingly been thrown into a constant \"well, we like this, but we'd like to see these tweaks\" back and forth for SEVERAL rounds.\n\nWhat can I do in these situations? Thanks so much for the help. I'll create a new post if I really need to.", "score": 3 } ]
Blood, for any redditors who still believe this myth.
Human blood is red, not blue. Its not blue inside you and it does not turn red when oxygenated. Dark red/Red. But nonetheless, red. I've found there seems to be a rather common belief otherwise, and today my flatmate declared it was blue. Sauces, all good explanations: **Edit** Fixed links, 2 were broken, apologies :S *http://www.askabiologist.org.uk/punbb/viewtopic.php?id=2043 *http://www.globalclassroom.org/blublud.html *http://www.biology-online.org/biology-forum/about763.html *http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_color_is_deoxygenated_blood If blood is red, why are veins blue? *http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1419/if-blood-is-red-why-do-your-veins-look-blue*
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[ { "body": "It's easily solved when confronted with the simple question, \"If you think your blood isn't already oxygenated then you're dead.\"", "score": 3 } ]
Are there unwritten courteous rules for eating out as a group?
I just came out of an annoying meeting with my Regional manager, and other corporate douchers. We decided to order from an awesome Mexican place down the street. Everyone's plates were an average of $9.95-$14.95. I was shocked to see that my Regional Manager ordered a plate that was $9.95, she gave in $10 and fought to give another 3 dollars for her drink. I had to say to all of these grown professionals with money, "You all ordered drinks too!". My plate was $12, I gave $16. I still felt as if I could have given an extra dollar but these people didn't feel it was courteous to give an extra 2-3 bucks when ordering as a group. Am I the only one who believes this? I find people who do this disgusting. Edit: Alright, I can take the comments about my grammar because I was rushing. I can take them stride. There is no excuse, your right!
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[ { "body": ">Give the exact amount of your plate. How inconsiderate.\n\n\\+ drink\n\n\\+ tip\n\n\\+ tax\n\n---------------------\n\nWhat you really owe\n\nThere are unwritten rules. \"If you get an appetizer, be clear as to whether you expect to share it, or eat it yourself. If you order it without asking anybody else if they are interested in an appetizer, but then proceed to offer to share once it arrives, it is your duty to pay for it.\"\n\n\"If everyone orders food that costs the same amount, and has the same number of drinks, dividing the bill by the number of people is logical. However, if you have people at both ends of the spectrum (expensive meal and lots of drinks, cheap meal and no drinks) this method is not fair\"\n\n\"Don't move seats once you have ordered your food. If you do, don't get annoyed when the server is confused about where to put the food\"\n\n\"Be nice to your server\"\n\nBut, just like with everything, people don't always follow the unwritten courtesy rules.", "score": 16 }, { "body": "I know this seems antiquated in many states, but if you're in a smoking restaurant, NO SMOKING until everyone has finished their food and the table has been cleared.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "OP, never be the one to collect the money from everyone, or suggest that the group order out. You will get 0 points for the time investment of basically playing office waiter - in fact, you will *lose* points with people if they try to pull something and you call them on their bullshit. Worst of all, you'll probably need to come up with the tip all by yourself, or risk losing points with the delivery guy as well, since you're the only one meeting him face to face. Next time you order from them, you're the guy getting the jizz sandwich, not everyone else in the office who are equally complicit.\n\ntl;dr: medium risk, zero reward. don't be the bitch.", "score": 5 } ]
Men of Reddit: How many of you have facial hair that's a different color than hair on your scalp.
People have commented that my facial hair, especially when it's grown out a bit, is a distinctly red color. I have, however, dirty blonde hair on the top of my head. Is this unusual? How many of you are in the same boat?
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[ { "body": "For further information, see [this other AskReddit](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/8jo2s/i_have_brown_hair_why_is_my_facial_hair_red/)\n\n[infaereld](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/8jo2s/i_have_brown_hair_why_is_my_facial_hair_red/c09hz8s):\n\n> People with brown hair and red beards (like me) often have Norman http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normans blood. Normans were Scandinavians who settled in northern France then went onto conquer England, southern Italy and parts of Ireland/the Middle East (Antioch). Your surname could be a vital clue. Do a surname history search on the internet and see if you can dig up some dirt.\n\n> The battle roll of the Battle of Hastings as well as the Domesday Book may also hold some clues.\n\n> Good Luck!\n\nThis is how I found out what's wrong with my multicolored head! I just thought I was weird; now I know we're all weird!", "score": 17 }, { "body": "Dark brown hair, RED RED beard.\n\n\n\n*Ah, ah,*\n*We come from the land of the ice and snow,*\n\n*From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.*\n\n*Hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new land,*\n\n*To fight the horde, sing and cry: Valhalla, I am coming!*\n\n\n*On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.*", "score": 9 }, { "body": "I have a few gray whiskers peppered on my chin but my hair is still really dark brown. I shave everyday though and I have no idea why I'm responding to this post. ", "score": 7 }, { "body": "I'm a girl, but four out of five guys that I've dated have that (and I've never seen the other one with a beard, no matter how much I begged him to grow one). Two have dark brown hair and a red beard, one has platinum blond hair and a light brown beard, and one has dark red hair with a blinding crazy almost artificially red beard.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I have dark brown hair and my facial hair is as follows:\n\nBrown on the upper lip\nRed and brown on my face (mostly red on my chin)\nwhite on my lower lip\n\nNeedless to say, I do not grow out my facial hair", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Brown hair, completely dirty-rust red beard. Makes me regret giving up that viking job.\n\nBut the rowing. Oh, god, the rowing!", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Brown hair, red sideburns, red/brown on the cheeks, bright blonde goatee. Started growing out a full beard to see where it changes FOR SCIENCE! My wife, it turns out, doesn't appreciate this particular kind of science.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "You're all freaks. As a redhead my head hair and beard hair are a uniform red, although both appear lighter when shorter (and some hairs on head and beard can bleach a bit blonder in direct sunlight. Living in Ireland, this is a rare, rare occurrence.)\n\nBehold the [non-mutant single coloured redbeard and hair](http://i.imgur.com/fHbLm.jpg) :-)\n\nOnly kidding. You're not mutants. Merely recessive carriers of the redhead gene, ensuring by stealth that more redheads are born in the future. You're unwittingly part of the world domination plan but I'm not allowed to talk about that with outsiders.....\n\n( -Edited stupid mistake in last sentence which made sentence mean the reverse of what I originally meant it to)", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I do. Look at my crazy ass hair. Strawberry blonde hair with a beard of fire. I also have light blonde eyebrows with black in the corners by my nose. http://imgur.com/m75qE http://imgur.com/KAs0W . Here is also a picture of my chest in response to this post. http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/anr25/are_there_any_serious_redditors_out_there_who/c0iinm2", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I know these two plumbers brothers and both their moustaches are black when their head hair is a light brown. I think one of them is nailing a princess so if I were you, I wouldn't worry about it.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I'm Asian. Completely black hair. My beard, for some reason, has a noticeable amount of red hair in it. My wife (who is white) reckons that I've either got Mongolian blood or an Irish ancestor from way back. I do like my beer....\n\nOh, and [here's](http://www.flickr.com/photos/_saturnine/4211682650/sizes/l/) a picture. Pay no attention to the sprout mace. ", "score": 3 } ]
My girlfriend just broke up with me... Need advice!
I'm heartbroken and don't like it. I don't need advice on how to deal with a broken heart; I've already decided on a course of action: deny all human emotion and become a being of pure logic, like Spock. My question is: how do I become more like Spock? A cold, unfeeling, calculating machine?
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[ { "body": "This is in a 2 part answer.\n\nThe girlfriend thing is pretty easy. Spend every waking hour thinking of her, waiting outside her home, car, class whatever. Writing letters explaining how she's everything to you, you can't live without her, etc. Make sure to be extremely detailed about what you are wearing in the notes. I would suggest writing them with a pen that has different colors that way you can rotate colors between either words or letters. Write them in a spiral starting from the edge of the paper. Your letters are not complete until you fill BOTH sides of the paper completely; otherwise your love for her is fleeting. \n\nTalk to all her friends, and tell them all the bad stuff you can about her, spread rumors, have sex with any of her close friends that you possibly can; this will prove your love. If possible, have sex with her mom and/or dad or sibling(s). If she has any animals, have sex with them as well. **Make sure** to have some sort of evidence of any of the aforementioned recommendations: pictures, videos, audio recordings, notarized statements etc. If possible, call her before/during/after having sex with anybody; she'll love you for it.\n\nIf you do all these things, you are guaranteed to get her back.\n\nThe spock thing: You'll need a fixed table saw, some fishing line, a needle, superglue, a bayonet, an apple 2e, a single container of icy hot, a ham and cheese sandwich, and a priest.\n\nStep 1: Feed the priest with the ham and cheese sandwich. He'll need to be well fed for this to work\n\nStep 2: apply super glue to the bayonet, making certain to get it on the tip.\n\nStep 3: See Step 2\n\nStep 4: Spread icy hot all over your face and head; make sure to get it in all of your orifices sufficiently. Use the entire container, it won't work with less.\n\nStep 5: poke yourself with the needle. anywhere\n\nStep 5: suspend the apple 2e above the now running table saw using however much fishing line is needed.\n\nStep 6: place your head, face side down (toward the saw) between the running saw (~ 1\" from the blade) and the apple 2e suspended above.\n\nStep 7: have the priest remove his pants, place his hand on your head (which one is up to you), recite something in latin, and he'll cut the fishing line with the super-glued bayonet.\n\nYou will no doubt become one with the apple 2e. The priest will get his wish too, to permanently have a bayonet attached to his hand (which is bad ass). It's like killing two eagles with one buck shot.", "score": 10 }, { "body": "Relationships are about sacrifice. She sacrificed her feelings, now you have to sacrifice her.\n\n...to Satan. ", "score": 9 }, { "body": "What you need to do is scramble your frontal lobe. \n\nTake a paper clip and unfold it to form a L shape. Press it firmly through the thin plate of bone at the top of your nose between your eyes. Be very careful as there are a number of blood vessels and your optic nerves are close by. Press firmly into the mush until the L is flush with your nostril--this is the correct depth. Now get another paper clip and repeat on the other nostril. Take a 9v battery and attach the terminals to the ends of the paper clips hanging out of your nose. It's direct current--what you're going for is tissue burn. Remove the battery after 2 minutes. \n\nDon't try to substitute AC or you'll end up having a seizure. The purpose of the exercise it for your cool calculating logical self to triumph over your animistic urges and fears. A seizure would be counterproductive and you'll have to start again.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Mail her a dead chipmunk with a note that reads \"unlike this chipmunk, my love for you will never die.\" ", "score": 3 } ]
This weekend I'm doing Acid for the first time! In fact it will be the first time I've done any kind of psychadelic.
I've been a weed smoker for years, and I've experimented with other things, such as speed, ecstasy (although the E I take never turns out to actually be MDMA, so technically I've never done it), Salvia, Opium, DXM (only up to the 2nd plateau), and things like xanax. I've read all about psychedelics (especially acid) for months and months, trying to prepare myself for the day I finally do it. Well, this weekend, that day will arrive. I feel like I've been ready for months, but I haven't had the opportunity until now. I will be tripping with three of my friends that I have known since middle school (I'm in my 3rd year of college), and we will be doing it at my apartment. I'm excited and confident that I will have a great time. I will be back here afterward to tell you all about my first psychedelic experience! In the meantime, if you guys have any advice you wanna throw my way, feel free :) EDIT: Spelling. it's psych**e**delic. who knew? :)
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[ { "body": "Don't stay in the apt. More fun to go outside and experience nature (the cold may prevent this). I'd imagine sledding would be a blast. Maybe you have a sober friend that can drive you guys around? Do it late in the day so you can experience both daylight and night. ", "score": 9 }, { "body": "It's spelled 'psychedelic'. I read about psychedelics occasionally for about 6 months before I realised :(.\n\nHave fun!", "score": 8 }, { "body": "Don't expect anything, don't look for any signs that it's working, just let it set in. With most drugs, if you try to force it to work, you'll have a bad trip. Just enjoy whats happening to you, and don't try to make anything special happen. You can't control acid, it controls you. ", "score": 7 }, { "body": ">I will be tripping with three of my friends that I have known since middle school (I'm in my 3rd year of college), and we will be doing it at my apartment.\n\nBe prepared for the inevitable \"rat in a cage\" feeling and being able to hear your neighbours far too well. If they start to argue, leave immediately, it's a massive headfuck.\n\nHopefully there's a park nearby you can jet off to if needed.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "It's a roller coaster, no matter what you are going to be OK. \n\nwaiting for the ride seems to take forever, then before you know it you're on the ride and you feel the butterflies in your stomach, for a brief bit it's all too much and it's REALLY fucking scary, but if you realize you are safe no matter what, you will cool off and enjoy the rest of the ride, and come away with something really baller. \n\nedit:yes, that's a big tangle of words not seperated well, but if you're tripping you can handle four lines of garbled text. also, i'm lazy", "score": 6 }, { "body": "thick wool socks to keep your feetses warm in case you take some sort of long journey around outside. small units of cash you won't lose. don't worry, you don't look as weird/conspicuous as you feel. an electric guitar and/or jimi hendrix music. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Hey dude. I actually just did acid (for the second time...well, second time with *real* acid) last Friday. Myself and a friend went sledding and then walked through the woods to Lake Michigan. That was the high point of the trip, just the two of us laying in the snow and on the ice along the shore, looking at the dark waves crashing beneath us. We spent nearly an hour on that shore. We could really feel the power of the waves as they hit the ice, sometimes the water splashing up making it seem like the Lake was putting on a show just for the two of us. It was incredible.\n\nMy advice: Good music and a good setting are a must. Try only to be around people you know. Being in public kind of sucks, so you might want to avoid that. I prefer daytime tripping to nighttime. Have lots of weed...I enjoy smoking it while I'm tripping, but I understand not everyone does. Also, I get fairly excited/nervous when I'm going to trip on something, so weed helps calm me down and eases me into the psychedelic experience better; you'll definitely want it when you start to come down because your mind will be racing and it helps take the edge off. Just relax and don't worry...having a positive mindset and telling yourself \"It's just a drug\" will help if you start to worry at all!", "score": 3 } ]
Help with routine and fat loss
I have been working out for about a year trying to get there 3 times a week. I recently changed gyms to accommodate my family getting active too. I am at a loss as to a good routine, I had a good one at the last gym but where I am now does not have the same space or equipment. I work out alone, no spotters so I work mainly with dumbbells or if I have to machines. My goal is to go for the ["strongman"](http://www.flickr.com/photos/highstrungloner/2643303832/sizes/o/) size and bulk, I am 6' 285 lbs and look more like [fat guy](http://inplacenews.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/obese_fat_guy.jpg) Here is my workout all with dumbbells except the Romanian deadlift Bench Press, 45 5x5 sitting Curls 30 5x5 Hack Squats, 3 plates a side 5x5 Overhead Press 35 5x5 R Deadlifts 100 5x5 Cardio eliptical 15 mins I try and get this in 3-4 times a week I have found that I am getting (slightly) stronger and I do have wrist issues from typing all day in my sedentary job Has anyone achieved a "strongman" regime with good results. Any help is appreciated. *well apparently I am fat and weak :) Honestly That wasn't me in the fat guy pic. I'd say I am average strength but I could be wrong and yes I know I am overweight, What diets have worked for you? any tips on books to read about eating. Edit 2: Thanks for all the comments.. some make me feel kinda like shit.. but oh well apparently I do have a skewed perception of my ability and how fat i really am.. And maybe that is what I really needed to hear. anyone close to me says yeah you could loose a few pounds and tone up. As i sit here and and eat for no reason at all I realize that my problem is exactly that.. keep going with the comments and suggestions, I am reading some valuable information here.
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[ { "body": "As somebody else said below. You are weak and overweight. There is no easy cure or quick fix. But you can start on a life of being healthy and strong now. It will take time but will be worth it in the end. Here are 3 things that you must change to take control of your life. \r\n\r\n1. Lift weights 3 times a week. Full body. Look into Starting Strength or a 5x5 program(stronglifts, madcow, bill starr). If the program does not include squats, dead lift and bench press its no good. Hell get the starting strength book and dvd.\r\nhttp://startingstrength.wikia.com/\r\n \r\n2. Cardio every day for at least 45 minutes. 4mph walk on an incline if possible. Best to do this first thing in the morning before you eat anything, as this is when your body will burn the most fat from being in a fasted state. If you cannot do it first thing in the morning, do it after lifting. \r\n\r\n3. ***MOST IMPORTANT *** Fix your diet. Eat a calorie defect of 500 per day. Make sure you are getting 1 gram of protein per lb of bodyweight you want to achieve. (200lb goal - 200grams protein) Remove all refined sugars and other junk food from your diet. If you do this correctly you should lose at least 1 lb per week. I recommend picking up the book Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle by Tom Venuto. This is an excellent guideline on how to start eating correctly. ", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I bulked up once.\n\nI lifted 5 days a week, an hour every day, for about 3 months. When one muscle group was too fatigued to exercise, I'd move on to another. I alternated between burnouts (constantly decreasing weight until failure), high-, and low-rep exercises on all muscle groups. I started with a lot of compound movements (bench, squats, pullups w/ leg raises, etc), and finished with isolating muscle groups. I added in new exercises a few times a week, to keep my body from \"figuring out\" a routine. The point is: some part of my body was hard to move, every day for 3 months.\n\nAfter lifting, I'd do light cardio for 40 minutes or so. hackey sack, walking/standing/laughing it up, picking up girls, etc.\n\nNutrition: I drank a gallon of water a day, mostly before lifting. Water was KEY! An hour before lifting, I'd drink a protein shake (whey-based, I think). Immediately after lifting, before cardio: Dr. Pepper and Doritos! Otherwise, I ate a big breakfast, did my workouts, and my body never asked for much more food than that. Sometimes I had a light protein dinner (chicken, small steak), but I mostly just listened to my body.\n\nI was as muscular and trim then as I had ever been. I'm naturally large, so the \"strongman\" look was my genetic predisposition.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I'm going to be brutally honest with you, only because I want you to achieve your fitness goals.\n\nFrankly, your lifts really aren't that impressive for someone of your size, you must have A TON of fat on your body. This needs to be your first and foremost priority.\n\nStrongmen look the way they do because they're constantly trying to build muscle and care relatively little about the fat they gain.\n\nYou on the other hand, already have the fat, but not the muscle. Building muscle requires excess calories - this will generate additional fat. There's no workout, no diet process, no magic trick that's going to turn all that fat into muscle.\n\nIf I were you, I'd do a cutting diet. Focus on what you eat- you make no mention of that here- that's going to be WAY more important than anything you lift. DIET DIET DIET.\n\nIncrease your cardio. You can keep lifting the way you are. You're going to need to get some of that fat off (70-80 lbs), and see where you are. You might be surprised at how your goals change.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "First things first, cut the fat. Diet is the most most important thing, if you are on a negative calorie intake and hitting the weights you'll force your body to burn off that excess fat. If you cut your muscles will be more defined as they won't be hidden under your fat and you'll look bigger than you do now.", "score": 3 } ]
Reddit: Where is the best place to live in the U.S.?
I'm looking for warmth and pretty close to a large city but not necessarily in a large city. I'm getting pretty tired of snow and generally freezing conditions. If you'd like, please go into detail as to why it's a great place to live. Thanks!! Edit: Thanks for all of the input everyone, I saw a lot of suggestions that I'd never considered before. Very good stuff, thank you.
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[ { "body": "I live in Chicago. \n\n\nIt never gets cold here, never snows, and never has howling winds coming off the god damn lake that are magnified by the buildings in the loop and the river, creating a wind tunnel effect that in turn forces your balls to recede in to your stomach in order to ensure your ability to reproduce at a later date.\n\n\n\nYep, 72 and sunny year round here.", "score": 33 }, { "body": "Bay Area, mild weather, lots of entertainment(shows, all major sports), easy access to the outdoors(central to all of California which has mountains for skiing, deserts, beaches, really anything you count want to do), and for the most part friendly people. Downside is high cost of living and declining services because California is broke, but otherwise its great.", "score": 20 }, { "body": "Pacific Northwest. Depending where you live you might experience snow. Only downside is Seattle is expensive.", "score": 15 }, { "body": "San Diego, CA. It is currently 70* F and partly cloudy. As long as you live within a few miles of the coast it never drops below 50 or goes above 90. Weather can be overcast during late winter/early spring, but the rest of the time it is usually sunny (since last April I think its only rained a handful of times). Certainly lots of things to do and if you don't want to \"live in a large city\" there are several small towns along the coast like Del Mar or Solana Beach.\n", "score": 13 }, { "body": "Nashville? Low cost of living, fairly warm weather I think, nice city. I live in NJ so I can't reccommend where I actually live. ", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Chapel Hill, NC. Its a great college town but growing. Some larger \"cities\" near it. There is sweet tea and people are generally friendly. Wish I was back there now.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Were do you live now? If it's Boston, then Seattle is the place from you. I swear 80% of Seattle is from Boston and for some reason they end up moving here. Then they end up complaining about it that its not Boston, but end up living here for the rest of their lives. Anyways, Seattle is a great place to live if you are really into ourdoors, music and food. \n\nOn a side note, don't move here if you like local sports. All out sports teams pretty much suck!", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I know it gets a bad rap, but I love living in Los Angeles.\r\n\r\nFor being a city (well, large suburbs) it's amazing how easy it is to get out an experience nature. There are hiking and biking trails everywhere, the weather is amazing, and you can go snowboading and have a BBQ at the beach in the same day. Other pluses include all kinds of tv and film experiences you can't get elsewhere, the traffic isn't as bad as it's made out to be, and the city has possibly the greatest music scene in the world.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "What is a large city to you? If you consider Raleigh, NC \"large\", you can try the Research triangle in NC. Chapel Hill, Durham, Hillsborough, Cary, Apex, etc. \n\nOne thing a lot of people from up north do is come down to some place like TX, FL, or CA and very quickly come to realize that having no normal seasons kind of sucks. The seasons are \"nice\", \"raining\", and \"oh my god, the pavement is melting.\" I lived in TX for a long time, and trust me...no fall, no real spring, summer sauna...it sucks. TX is one of those places I love despite the climate. (and yes, I love Texas. It's a great place)\n\nI live in Chapel Hill now. You get seasons here, but it doesn't get bitter cold, and it doesn't get swelteringly hot. You get a colorful fall and a bright green spring. It's been in the 20s for about a week now, and that is REALLY strange. This is the first winter like this in the 4 years I've lived here. You get snow once or twice a year, but it never stays more than a few days. You hit the 90s in August for a while, but it's nothing like what you get in Miami or Houston.\n\nYou also have a lot of universities (Duke, UNC, NC state), and beautiful places to go (mountains are a two hour drive west, coast is a two hour drive east). You don't have a really big city nearby (I'm used to Houston, so Raleigh just doesn't cut it), but it is nice. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": "The very best place is where you are. Really, how could you live anywhere else? \r\n\r\nBut also Portland FTW. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Texas. San Antonio is a really great town, but most newcomers really dig Austin, since it's so diverse. Close to Dallas & Houston as well, so between that there is always something to do. Great food & great people. I've spent a lot of time in Austin & Houston, grew up in Dallas and also in El Paso. Any more questions, ask away...", "score": 3 } ]
so i haven't had a smoke in 36hrs, keep me in your prayers...
been smoking since I was 16, minimum pack a day for the last 5 or so. decided it was time. worst decision ever.
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[ { "body": "The first few days are the hardest. You can get through it. Keep some (healthy...) snacks on hand. Lollipops are awesome for this. \n\nPlease don't give up. Right now you think it's the worst decision ever, but I quit nearly a year ago now and it was absolutely the BEST decision ever.", "score": 18 }, { "body": "I started when I was 13, smoked a pack a day for over 20 years, and quit cold turkey last year. If I can do it, you can do it. The first few days are the worst. Just remember that if you smoke now, all you are doing is guaranteeing that you will continue to have withdrawal. The ONLY way to feel better is to not smoke. You can do it. ", "score": 13 }, { "body": "Congratulations! The first few days are the hardest, stick with it! I'm on 2 months **today** and can tell you it does get easier. Keep yourself busy and take it one cigarette at a time. In the beginning every craving I had I told myself I could have a cigarette later, and then I just kept putting it off. I was surprised at how well that worked! Also, keep thinking about the money you'll save that has helped me a lot.\n\nI'm confused by your post though .. Do you mean quitting was a bad decision? Or starting in the first place?\n\nIf you want more encouragement and advice feel free to join us over in [**r/stopsmoking**](http://www.reddit.com/r/stopsmoking) \n\nGood Luck! :D", "score": 6 }, { "body": "Just think about how you're going to spend the $1,000+ will have saved in a year. Stay frosty, amigo.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Get a large mason jar. Fill it full of butts. The add water to the brim, and seal it. Every time you get an urge, open the jar and sniff. You won't get the urge very often after a few days of that.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I'm on day 6 right now and can tell you it gets a lot better in the next few days. If you just can't do it, break down and buy the patch. I'm on it right now and it makes it so much more bearable. Be strong! It will get easier! Don't drink booze for the next couple weeks, booze + no cigarette = failure! ", "score": 5 }, { "body": "It's been one week and a day for me, been smoking for 11 years. The first couple of days were the toughest, it gets easier after that. Drink a lot of water and try to avoid the usual temptations (friends who smoke, drinking etc...) for a while. Tell yourself you are strong enough to resist your temptations, you can do it!", "score": 5 }, { "body": "In all likelihood, you will look back on this as the best decision that you ever made. You have already proven to yourself that you don't *need* to smoke. That's more than half the battle. Keep looking at it as the great accomplishment that it is and realize that, to reach your goal, there is just one thing that you cannot do. Keep it up.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "You don't need my prayers, you are totally and perfectly capable of quitting without divine intervention. I will, however, give you some of my mere mortal support! :) Congratulations on making a healthy decision, it's hardest at first, but you will beat it. This goes to everyone else in here that's quitting as well.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "My boyfriend quit recently. The first week is the most trying and you'll probably feel like you want to kill everyone, but once the nicotine's gone you'll feel so much better. Try exercising or doing other things to keep you busy and take your mind off it to a degree. Chew gum, chew pens, chew anything in sight if it helps. Good luck.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "You're doing a great thing for yourself and the people who love you. I smoked for 12 years and I loved it. One day I decided I was done with it. It'll be three years without this September. You can do it. If you don't do it for your health, do it for your wallet. In my neighborhood they're charging upwards of $8/pack for Old Golds. WTF?", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I will not pray for you but I will offer my sincere encouragement: Keep it up. I've never smoked so I can't imagine how hard it is, but it seems like this is what you want. It's **will** vs **addiction**. And the mind is mightier!", "score": 3 }, { "body": "It's not the worst decision ever, it's the best thing you can do for yourself. I quit a little over six months ago at age 28, after starting smoking at the age of 14.and I don't miss it at all. It's rough the first few days, I won't lie. I recommend checking out a book by Allen Karr. It really makes you feel stupid for ever believing that you needed to smoke in the first place.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "i just did not have my morning smoke this sunday, and i havent had a craving or anything, been smoking 7 years.\n\ni am really surprised at how well i am doing, hope something along the same lines for everyone else", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I'm into 3.5 weeks. I've been using 'the patch'. It really helps take the edge off..\r\n\r\nI am totally committed to quitting. I was spending between $200/$250 a month on smokes.\r\n\r\nGood luck to all trying.. it's not easy", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I've been cutting down (down from a pack to half) in an attempt to quit on January 24th. Maybe sooner.....Good luck friend!", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I need to quit. I'm sick right now at work feel like shit and have only had one today (usually smoke about half a pack a day). I find this is the best time to try to kick the habbit. ", "score": 3 }, { "body": "not smoking is super awesome. i've been quit for nearly two years and after you get through the difficult part it will become one of the things you are proudest in having accomplished. QUITTING IS SO VERY WORTH THE HARDSHIP YOU'RE CURRENTLY CHAMPIONING! keep up the good work!", "score": 3 }, { "body": "I won't pretend it's the same thing, but I had to significantly change my diet in order to lose weight. It's hard to stay true to a change in diet since you still have to eat.\n \nI'm not sure why, but one thing that has helped me stay motivated is to acknowledge that: Lifestyle changes are hard. It's ok that they're hard.\n \nFor some reason, acknowledging this whenever I felt like eating more, or eating something I shouldn't, made it easier to say on target.\n\n", "score": 3 } ]
I worked as a shift manager at BurgerKing for 2 years AMA.
I worked at a burgerking for 2 years, and I quit after suing my boss for cheating with our salaries over an extended period of time. Ask me anything. Edit: I would like to add that it was a horrible place to work because of the management, not because of the job itself.
4
[ { "body": "Why is it when you drive by a Burger King it smells so good, but never on the inside? I understand venting the grill, but is that partly fake? Other restaurants have grills, and you don't smell anything driving by them. ", "score": 3 } ]
With all this /b/ollocks about coke in the white house, where's the best place you ever smoked a tree?
I smoked a spliff in the desert buggy from the start of startwars4, the riot wagon from the bill, the big brother house, gotham city and the drive of the house from the rocky horror show... also i snorted cocain from the captains chair [arm rest thing] of the Enterprise (a perfect recreation using the actual official props).
12
[ { "body": "I've had the same dugout for over 20 years now. The riskiest place it got used was on a tour of.... The White House.", "score": 3 } ]
Let's Talk More About How Men Are the Priomary Imposers of Societal Norms and Pressure On Other Men
I Just Read this http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/aoj51/i_just_finished_reading_the_feminine_mystique_i/ and it got me to thinking about how the societal norms and pressures that are imposed on women are often coming directly from other women. What can we do more to change how men treat and judge other men?
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[ { "body": "Some of the messages men get from other men (siblings, father, friends)\n\n\"Sack up and be a man!\"\n\n\"Quit your crying!\"\n\n\"Shrug it off and get back in there!\"\n\n\"Dude, who's wearing the pants in your family?!\"\n\n\"You need to get your house in order man\"\n\n\"Don't be a p**sy\"\n\n\"You like (insert pop band here)? How does it feel to be gay?\"\n\nDiscuss.", "score": 9 }, { "body": "One of the first men in my life hacked off half my dick, including 80% of my erogenous tissue, leaving me physically and psychologically scared for life. \n\nAnother man in my life (father) stood by and let him. In fact, father encouraged my mutilator. \n\nWhat does *that* say about how men view each other and male sexuality in our culture?", "score": 5 } ]
Hey there jolly-olly feel good redditors, how exactly do you stay confident and keep a positive attitude?
I keep seeing post that really aren't the most upbeat towards approaching life in general. I think if I could get a positive attitude and keep it there I can get to where I want to be. Problem is, I try and it just doesn't work. There are so many thoughts and sudden doubts that keep attacking my mind so to speak. You know that feeling you get while listing to ELO's Mr. Blue sky? I want that. I want it to stay there too. How do you revive passion confidence and really feeling good about yourself?
12
[ { "body": "Once a week (I like Thursdays), I slip into the darkness and take one human life. And then the world feels a little less crowded.", "score": 12 }, { "body": "\"Do you have any change in your pocket? Take it out. Go on, take it out and take a good look at it. Oh my. You've got a few pennies in there, don't you? I've been sticking 30 dollars in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3000 pennies a day. 21,000 pennies a week. 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 pennies. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass. You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day! All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies. Oh, I laugh at you before you can laugh at me, because your pennies have been in my ass.\"", "score": 10 }, { "body": "Team sports. \n\nEven if you aren't athletic you can always play something like kickball or dodgeball. Exercise has mental health benefits and playing on a team can kick start any social life. ", "score": 5 }, { "body": "Sex and bacon.\n\nScientifically proven to cure depression, anxiety, disillusionment, misanthropy, Scientology, hemophilia, hemorrhoids, and Sarah Palin.", "score": 5 }, { "body": "I write my pain. Publish it here. In some way I've moved it out of myself and into the world.\n\nI can't say I'm happy. But I'm confident, and generally keep a positive attitude.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "One thing that I found that helps, always try to find a good of something. Even if there is more bad than good in your mind. Make a point to point out the good. Over time you can change how you perceive things. This helps with the positive attitude over time. As far as confidence let me know if you find out a trick for that.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Having loving parents works great for me. No matter what happens I can always say, \"Well, at least my mother still loves me.\" I guess I'm lucky that I find comfort and happiness in that. I've definitely needed that recently.\n\nRealizing that my life is ultimately completely meaningless has actually helped me greatly. A lot of people become depressed about it, but I find it incredibly freeing. No matter what happens, none of it *really* matters anyway so just go along for the ride and enjoy yourself. All of those people stressing out as they sit in traffic trying to get to work are just making themselves miserable. I try to just sit there and enjoy the sights. I'll get to my destination whenever I get there. I try to apply a similar attitude to my whole life. There's a big difference between that and apathy though. I still care to do things well and lead a fulfilling life accomplishing my goals, but I try not to get too worked up over anything. It's hard at times but it keeps me generally stress free and easy-going.\n\nBasically I just have a very carefree attitude towards life since none of it really matters anyway. I find it very relaxing. Actually feeling good about yourself is much more difficult. There's no answer for that one. Each person has to figure that out for themselves, IMO.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Dear faggot upvoters:\n\nI have tried 4 or so times now to get this comment downvoted. I've used everything from saying i shoot heroin into my penis to simply repeating the word nigger in all caps.\n\n I'm trying to start a fucking kickass account here so please just downvote the fucking thing. assholes.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "I just think, \"if I was to put my life in a bucket and chose another random life, would I?\" There are plenty of other people in this world with horrible lives. If you have the ability to access a computer you probably have a better life than half of them, it's just the trouble of realizing that.", "score": 3 } ]
I've seen a lot of commercials about consolidating credit card debt. Do they help?
One of them states that the government can help if you have over $10,000 in credit card debt. There are 1-800 numbers to call, but I feel like its a scam. Are there programs out there that will help? Please let me know. Thanks.
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[ { "body": "Do your research on any organization before engaging them in any debt consolidation plan. Google search and searching the BBB should be a minimum. There are a lot of people looking to take advantage of individuals in compromised financial situations, and you don't want to end up worse than you already are.\n\nI'm not an expert on it, but it seems like most get out of debt plans are either giving you another loan (probably at a higher interest rate and spread over a longer number of years) to consolidate your debt, or credit card counseling programs, which negotiate directly with any credit card companies on your behalf to lower your interest rate and get you on a plan to pay off your debt in a few years.\n\nIf you're at the point of considering either of these, I would advise you to first contact your creditors directly yourself and attempt to negotiate reduced payment on your own. I've heard the companies will work with you to avoid losing their money to bankruptcy or nonpayment, but that wasn't my experience.\n\nIf that fails, I would suggest investigating the possibility of bankruptcy. Consolidating your debt is going to have a price, and you will more than likely end up deeper in the hole even if it is legitimate. Credit card counseling affects your credit score just like bankruptcy, and stays on your file just as long, so why not see if you can absolve yourself of the bad debt?\n\nThat's just my opinion, though.", "score": 7 }, { "body": "Take charge America is legit. I just went through them and paid off my debt. They stop calls/harassment, negotiate the lower interest rates, reduce/eliminate fees, and consolidate to an affordable monthly payment. They work with you on creating a budget and work with you to pay it off as soon as you can. They are a non-profit group too.", "score": 6 }, { "body": "I went to a nonprofit consolidation service a few years ago to discuss my debt situation. Nice folks, but the deals they could cut still weren't enough for me to be able to make payment. The woman there suggested that I call the credit card directly and explain my situation, and that sometimes they can cut better deals directly. I did, told them I wanted to pay them back but explained my situation and said I flat out couldn't as it was. Without blinking they said they'd close the card, drop my interest to 2%, and put me on a 5-year monthly payment schedule until it's paid off. Still kicks my ass, but I've been able to do it. Maybe have half a year left on it.\n\nNot sure about the government programs, since they appeared after I'd cut my deal. Might see what your card company has in terms of \"hardship repayment plans\" or whatever they call it.", "score": 4 }, { "body": "Some are scams, others are the real deal. You just have to be really careful, do your homework, and listen and read everything very very carefully. \n\nThe real ones come in a few different versions. One type will consolidate your debt into one, more affordable monthly payment, probably at much lower interest rates. The downside is that you'll be making that payment for a very long time.\n\nAnother takes over all your accounts (and the cards) and starts by calling them all and acting as your lawyer, makes them stop calling/harrassing you for payment. These creditors are familiar with the drill and know they have to wait. You make monthly payments and the money goes into an account. When the account has enough money, the management company will start making calls on your behalf, negotiating with the creditor(s) to accept a lump sum payment and accepting that as payment in full. Sometimes they will accept as little as 50%, which seems fair when you consider they're often charging 30% interest! One by one the bills go away. The management company makes money by charging you a percentage of what they save you. For example, if you pay half of a $10,000 charge bill, they might earn 10% of the $5,000 they saved you. Which seems well worth worth it. The more you can add to your account, the faster the bills are paid off. But you can't use any credit cards during that time. Which for some people, isn't so bad. I know someone who went through the latter type, and after 3 or 4 years, they had all their credit cards paid off (more than $20,000) and had learned how to live without them. Now they use debit cards for the convenience and if they can't afford it, they save and wait. \n\nIt all depends on what you can handle. But I think they would also say, if you do it, be very careful you don't get caught up in a scam. \n\n", "score": 3 } ]
My wife has fibro, complains about it constantly, but wont go to a doctor or stick to any diet/exercise plans to deal with it.
Ok before anyone even suggests it: I am not a fibro denialist. My wife has it. Let's get that out of the way right now. So, here's the situation: My wife was on fibro meds as recently as a year ago which made a night and day difference for her... She had energy, relief from the pain, basically was functioning like a normal person again. About a year ago, she stopped using the medicine for no real reason, and started taking melatonin instead. She never had any bad reactions to the medicine and it was very cheap. Her symptoms have been getting worse and worse lately. She only works 25-30 hours a week, but whenever she's not working she's basically just a crumpled heap that is always tired and always in pain, and always, ALWAYS complaining about it. Now, I've always gotten kudos for being a patient and attentive husband, but yesterday I snapped a little bit. I told her that I was getting tired of hearing about fibro this, fibro that, when she is not doing a DAMNED THING about it besides complaining. No doctors, no meds, no diets, no nothing. She said "well if it's so important to you, then why aren't you scheduling doctors appointment for me and preparing the right foods for me?"... This kind of came from left field... We've always had a pretty equal relationship, we do favors for eachother but we've never babied eachother like that.... I already work 60+ hours a week and take the responsibility for managing all of our finances and expenses... I just don't have the time baby her too. She says it's none of my business, but I really don't see how it's not. She's always crumpled up in a coma and it falls to me to deal with everything around the house... She never has any energy to do anything, she's gaining weight, and the minute I walk in the door, she finds a spot close to me and starts with the endless complaining. I feel like it IS my business, because her neglect is making her a vastly different person than the person I married. If she was making any effort to mitigate her symptoms at all I would be highly supportive, but as it stands all she does is take melatonin, not go to the doctor, and inhale refined carbs (which exacerbates fibro) like they're oxygen. Don't just say "talk to her", I need to know HOW to talk to her to make some positive changes.
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[ { "body": "I was dx'ed with fibro two years ago. It's currently in remission. I'm not on any meds at this time. \n\nFirst, your wife is probably depressed. Depression comes hand-in-hand with fibro. \n\nSecond, when the pain gets bad enough, she WILL get herself to a doctor. \n\nIn the meantime, you're doing the right thing, by not enabling her. Just tell her you no longer want to hear her complaints, unless she is seeing a doctor and taking active steps on her own.\n\nWith that said, as her husband, there are two things you can do for her that are invaluable: \n\n1. Learn how to give a fibro massage. It's not easy to do this to yourself. My husband has learned how to do it - it's very very simple and doesn't take too much skill, you can learn how to do it in a few minutes. A PT can show you how, or just buy a book. It makes a world of difference keeping the pain under control for me. \n\n2. Help relieve stress. I don't mean do everything for her and baby her. I mean, find time each day to enjoy each others' company and get her to relax and laugh a lot. \n\nYou can tell her you will no longer listen to her complaints, but as her loving husband, you will do those two things for her. They are the two most important things I can't do all that easily for myself. Yes, there are times when I can barely lift a pan to cook, or walk around the block, but it's good to keep on keeping on and if the pain is that bad, I'm motivated to get my butt back into the doctor. \n\nIf she's reticent about taking meds the rest of her life (and I don't blame her; so am I) tell her to keep looking for a doctor who will work with her on other strategies, like a referral for fibro massage. \n\nEDIT to add: I actually don't believe in the fibro/diet connection. My last major (and worst to date) flare-up was during a time when my diet was absolutely impeccable. It made no difference. There may be a connection if your wife also has IBS, which often comes hand-in-hand (I have no IBS symptoms). Weight gain may be a factor but I have had flare-ups when I'm at my fittest and slimmest. There's no rhyme or reason to it. \n\nEDIT again: For #2 above, basically tell her that your job is to help take her mind OFF her pain. Hence, why you won't listen to her complain. Instead, you will engage with her daily in mutually enjoyable activities so she can get a break dwelling on it and have stress relief through social interaction. This really works! When you have fibro, you get overly consumed with your aches and pains... and a lot of fibro is about the mind/body connection.", "score": 28 }, { "body": "She needs to keep to physical movement or it will diminish her ability to do so. I have an aunt that is no longer able to work because of her fibro and is not inclined to work out and thus it has consumed her and she is now seriously hampered by it.\n\nTalk to her, but don't put up with complaining. She needs to act like an adult. ", "score": 4 }, { "body": "The world is overflowing with people who would rather complain than fix the root of the problem they're complaining about.\n\nThese people are **psychic vampires**. They draw energy out of the people listening to the complaints. They're sadists. They must be stopped.\n\nThe only way to deal with these people is to cut them off at the source. In this case, simply be a man: \"Deal with it or shut the fuck up.\"\n\nBy shutting off the source of the misery that they crave, you're forcing them to adapt. Maybe, just maybe, they'll find another way to sate their desires. Possibly even by addressing the problem.", "score": 3 }, { "body": "Don't enable her.\r\n\r\nTreat her like a competent, **capable** adult.\r\n\r\nCommunicate to her how you feel about the drama (ie: the leeching, the moping, the whining, etc). Explain to her that at the first sign of you being a rational, self-respecting husband she balks and tells you it is none of your business is a childish outburst at best. She has made it \"your business\" by the vows she took way back when, the fact you live together, and the fundamental properties of human interaction. The way she behaves affects you and vice versa. Don't allow her the cop-out.\r\n\r\nYour wife **is** *your* business. As you hers. Best of luck.", "score": 3 } ]