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why is it that whenever i try to change or become better and i so i go chase new experience and end up going through learning or doing different thing it just becomes a bad memory i feel a if everything i had positive aspect to turn into something negative thing i think will turn out for the better turn out to be bad and miserable which make everything in my past and present miserable can anyone else relate or understand what i m trying to say it s hard to explain in word | 1 |
sometimes it s not even mental anxiety somedays i just feel it physically i can be totally okay in the noggin but my muscle are tense i m really cold my leg can t stop bouncing my jaw is clenching my nail are digging into my palm then i get up and the world feel woozy that s when i realize how exhausted i am despite hardly doing anything that could ve caused that exhaustion no anxious thought just an anxious body | 1 |
my depression ha been at it worst this year after suffering some significant loss i m going to college in the fall and i want to look forward to it but i cant i chose a state school so i wouldnt have debt and figured i d find a way to pay for it easily all my plan fell through and i only have a couple thousand in scholarship nowhere near enough to cover it i missed so many deadline and screwed up so much because i have no one to help me in my life no reliable adult or friend one of my best friend wa awarded a full tuition scholarship and i want to be overjoyed for her but i just feel so horrible about myself i tried so hard in high school with my grade and music and it amounted to nothing thousand dollar in scholarship is all i have to show for it i cant get any help from fafsa and i have a job but working is horrible when i can barely get out of bed how do i keep going when i have no one to support me and nothing to keep going for | 1 |
rip sandra it so sad how can someone do something like that | 0 |
work laptop is officially dead not happy at all | 0 |
angery chungus most opppressed memory loss is a symptom of depression j | 1 |
why do i have to go to the sitty job more often than the nice one | 0 |
micro dose shroom capsule for depression anxiety and ptsd http t co vg rkqppt | 1 |
i watch pornography when i feel depressed or stressed in my shitty job a a dentist but i heard that it can worsen your situation also i m doing it like once or twice a week | 1 |
http twitpic com y e cant see the flower falling i dont have a camera just my cellphone | 0 |
sudam0 yes someone hasn t been reading my post properly | 0 |
lejeff oh pant i m hanging out with the old folk back in england defo b up when i get back tho | 0 |
best flight need get as in gear wana go away bt nt sure where cairo amp uk maybe bt may b able go earlier bt wont no til | 0 |
rakeman it wa in the 0 f just last week | 0 |
the word kill yourself repeating in my mind every time i think of how fucked my life is | 1 |
arghh my hand are itchy could it be that on top of my alergy to beef i also can not eat chicken no more | 0 |
trying to find the motivation to write some essay and finding it sad that my life revolves around essay writing | 0 |
wilshipley i am sad the dutch localization in dl is bad it s incomplete and ha too many truncation | 0 |
it s my fourth week withdrawing from paroxetine mg cr and currently i m on 0mg daily but i m going through hell will have 0 mg every alternate day starting next week pray for my soul | 1 |
tuesday is a raining day again | 0 |
depression i love it | 1 |
i don t know how i can feel this horrible and unable to breathe so badly and this only be anxiety i genuinely feel like i m going to pas out and i have nothing to be anxious about is this really what anxiety feel like i can t take a deep breath this is so awful | 1 |
cincincintya my seed is on the verge of death thinking of what seedling i can plant to replace | 0 |
really want to see kasabian at eden project th july just need someone to go with | 0 |
my paronychia hurt | 0 |
lying manipulating aunt taking advantage of my mom forcing my parent apart stealing money stealing clothes for year and counting i couldn t take it my school grade dropped covid hit couldn t muster up the courage to talk to friend had a drive through high school graduation barely graduated at all no uni plan working at a dollar store just floating on with no motivation or will my sister almost suicided but had the courage to talk about it i attempted more time than i can count but couldn t talk about it the closest to death wa when i wa bleeding so much from my neck i dyed the knife and clothes i wa wearing i tried talking about everything but the attempt but those that know stopped talking to me unless i try first wouldn t it be better if i off myself and get it over with it s not like it matter nothing doe another person will just grow up and fill my spot in society life doesn t matter all life is only equal cause it s equally worthless everything is worthless but the few friend that did help me would hurt but it s better to get it over with like a bandaid instead of make them watch me suffer nothing is going my way i m constantly cry myself to sleep i ve been called wise but it s just watered down suicidal thought coming up in normal conversation religion helped for a bit but it s just more rule on how to live i need help but i don t have the will to do anything i just need someone to comfort me i try hugging myself but it just reminds of how lonely i am every time i try reaching out it just end with a passive one word reply we haven t talked in so long how ve you been doing good just cut me off if you don t like talking to me quit playing these mind game and say it to my face i m seriously messed up am i messed up or is everyone else messed up but that s what s socially acceptable no matter how much i hate the world my mind always try to justify thing or see thing from they re point of view even if it s a blatantly bad thing are my friend bad or am i bad i don t know i just feel sad or numb but cover it with a smile so if i can make a difference in someone s life it s a positive one unlike mine i feel like such an attention seeker by talking about what i m going through maybe being anonymous like this is what s letting me write this it s am again so goodnight we ll see if it s the last time i say that or not | 1 |
i had one not to long ago im kinda feeling down rn but it all good these thing just make me stronger | 1 |
grum wah i can t see clip must be el stupido work filter can t wait till i get a puter something else blame ex he broke mine | 0 |
haven t had one in awhile took med still nothing helped | 1 |
nototyrannynow a stagflationary prolonged recession or a hyperinflationary then deflationary depression | 1 |
new podcast alert surreyscorchers guard cayraf9 join the mvp cast to reveal his retirement plan and how he dealt with depression by learning to speak up http t co s t9b dvs | 1 |
i need some inspiration before i hit the kitchen tonight | 0 |
kellyshibari i thought i saw you there you were walking out the door when i saw you | 0 |
penalty scored at tynecastle still got beat though | 0 |
tommcfly good morning tom why can t i send you a message this is too short for the question i have well to bad for me i guess | 0 |
s favourite youtube clip lightning mcqueen singing quot barbie girl quot ha been taken down | 0 |
your life your rule but why can t i finally make myself rest it s selfish but isn t making someone stay just for you to not feel bad also is they ll stop you but will only make you feel alone after a few week or so shouldn t we all ultimately live for ourselves why is suicide such a bad thing is it just because it s deemed morally wrong all of this ha probably been said a couple time i m sorry it s funny how the only thing that keep me going is that one musical group and my other hobby is this really it | 1 |
i need to talk to a professional but i can t bring myself to trust they won t just throw bullshit med at me until i m numb and addicted i just need to talk and explain why my brain doe what it doe and how i can navigate around pill for a solution someone with more insight than a prescription pad | 1 |
before i start talking i want to apologise for my english skill since it s not my mother tongue i just need to vent somewhere but i am also asking for help but most importantly i need someone to listen to me right now i have no idea on what to do i am a year old student who go to an art school staying in a boarding school under the week i have good parent and i love them and they love me but have little understanding that depression is actually an illness due to my depression i am very limited in talking about my feeling since it exhausting and i do not know how to express myself so when i m usually confronted my them i say i dont know an they ve grown tired of it i have been feeling more depressed but also suicidal starting to plan my suicide i wanted to take my life in late april probably by hanging myself i dont exaclty want to die but i just couldnt see any way of me feeling better but i want to feel better i dont want to take my own life i have a lot ahead of me a dear friend of mine and i talked to one of the worker in my boarding school and i told them everything since i wa afraid of taking my own life but i didnt talk to my parent since on my side it very difficult to explain this my mum is one of the few people that got damaged by the covid vaccine the doctor didnt take her serious and she suffered so much the past few month breaking down and falling down the stair one time my dad is a very busy man and i feel like he is just i dont know how to explain but emotionally not there often i know this is just my point of view and doe not reflect reality but i basically feel like this towards my parent the worker in my boarding school made up option stay in boarding school and looking for a therapist tomorrow calling my parent to take me home and to go to the mental hospital immediately i just didnt know what to do so the worker had to call my parent they chose to take me home even tho the worker said that my father sounded on the phone like he wa understanding the reality looked different my parent where of course overwhelmed and angry i tried my best explaining everything for example my mother said i didnt even try to get a new therapist but i did my best when we got home it got worse my father asked stuff like how i wanted to take my own life i didnt want to tell him later my mum came downstairs and we all talked well not really they were overwhelmed and seemed angry tho they said they werent my parent screamed at me saying i didnt try to reach out to them questioning why i didnt talk to them but they said that they cant tell me reality or else i d start panicking an cry they told me that i cant accept the truth and i m panicking because of this that i m acting up cause i wa cry like a madman i felt like my world wa shattering they screamed at me that i wasnt trying my best and that i didnt even try i tried to explain to them that i wa scared to tell them and stuff i tried my best but i dont think they really understood they want me to go a mental hospital but i know this would make thing worse for me i neez my friend in boarding school but i know that this cant keep going on i know that school itself make me feel bad but i have all my friend there that help me so much but they said that it s too late for me and i should have made the decision earlier i m just totally i dont know i cant stop cry i wa speechless to how they screamed at me breaking down in front of them and i dont know what to do or how i should handle the situation we wanted to go to my old therapist who isnt really good but we cant reach him i don t know what to do i am home right now but i wan na go back to my friend i really need them right now but if course i cant my mum is still saying how she cant keep up with me and shes overwhelmed with me can someone help me please or at least can i have some comforting word im very sorry to anyone who ha to read this but thank you for listening have a good day or night | 1 |
i m so tired i really wish i could like myself i feel like all my thought are so complicated i can t do anything for myself every thing i do is for others yet i feel like such a selfish emotionally cut off and unempathetic person and i hate myself for it i have such high expectation for people and i get sad when they don t meet them i feel like that isn t normal i hate it i hate that i create scenario in my head of how people are going to treat me good and when they don t do what i expected i get sad that doesn t feel normal why am i like that i hate doing good and then falling into a dark hole that s so hard to get out of it feel like it s never going to end i m so tired i hate myself so much i just wish i could love myself i feel so shut off and all i want is someone to just hold me and tell me it s okay that s something i hate about myself too that i want people shouldn t i just feel happy alone am i too codependent am i ill am i too obsessive and optimistic in the worse way i m exhausted because of these thought i m so tired of my anxiety just myself it feel like everything that happens is all my fault even when i try to do good i m a bad person i try to do good for myself and i hurt other people i can t handle that i just want to love myself i can t figure myself out i m so so so tired | 1 |
finished the second research paper of the week it s tuesday kind of kill me test friday | 0 |
depression ya these day yi nobu bipolar inside which one is this one | 1 |
hi all i m working in human resource for a smaller company and we re keen to making sure we re being inclusive we ve managed to implement flexibility for those who celebrate different religion belief new parent and a variety of physical disability but we re still learning when it come to neurodiversity generally we re very ambitious and strong believer in inclusion for all so we want to make sure we re going above and beyond rather than just doing the bear minimum my question for you is what process and or action have you seen company take that were groundbreaking or in some may made a major difference to you a someone with anxiety it can also be something you heard of rather than something that happened to you specifically if you don t know a company doing something that you feel would be very effective what would you love to see a company do | 1 |
i think my depression hit me for the third time | 1 |
i will eventually give up i know whoever reading this doe not care so don t comment anything unless you are absolutely inclined to after i die i will ask god to destroy my spirit and make it a if i never existed i hate anything having to do with existing everything that it brings the people the negativity the bullying it just nonstop i wish to have never experienced this life or anything having to do with it this life is inherently evil and whoever made me wanted all the bad thing to happen to me i guess i will just row out to sea and wait for a storm or tie my leg to a boulder and drop 00 foot to ocean floor anything anything i got ta do to get off this shit i will go out of my way to cause my life to end | 1 |
elliee haha yeah i thought it would be much more complicated and well ive just got home from school we ve not got holiday x | 0 |
i don t understand why thing get taken away i didn t have enough time with him it unfair i want him back he wa like my baby | 0 |
daniela 9 my english professor would be ashamed | 0 |
myb just of the way the chronic depression that ive gotten from wrote down her step on step being killed inside fortheringay castle trapped by pain n wa smth like concrete physical or traumatic scene when elizabeth didnt do anything when the blood gushing from her head | 1 |
i don t know what i m doing wrong everyone always leaf me | 1 |
morning twitterati large coffee and a bath on top of today list first appt 0am then load of desk work | 0 |
i really hate how people dis my band trace is clearly not ugly | 0 |
beautiful but someone in your gender say she s going into depression because her mom wore her nike shoe without informing her | 1 |
lol honeybaby i sound like a ny quil commercial that word only look right with a green background i want to sleep but i can t | 0 |
menochronic blamethehormone thismorning carolynharris drlouisenewson i am so sorry you went through that with your daughter i spent year being treated for anorexia depression anxiety self harm eupd until eventually being diagnosed with pmdd in 0 even once diagnosed i spent a year in a psych unit to support me until i got surgery | 1 |
i m a girl on the autism spectrum about to leave my school graduation year but dammit my school a school meant to help autistic youth mind you ha been going down the drain over the past few year and it ha gotten extremely worried about how i m going to work in the future if i can even get a job at all | 1 |
i don t want to be alive anymore i hate being here all i want to do is self harm and cry i hate being in college and i think about hanging myself in my dorm everyday i ve already tried but wa too much of a pussy to do so because i didn t want to disable myself i ve already tried to reach out for help but it didn t help i wa sent to an intensive outpatient program and it hasn t helped nothing help i just want to put myself out of my misery | 1 |
so the procrastination start early in the quarter i don t want to reaaaaad and write a paper | 0 |
sorry about message n such i have been stewing in my apartment depression napping tryna will myself to feel better though tomorrow i will try to be functional | 1 |
i have an awful living situation thanks to college where i live in one half of the country for part of the year and then i move back across the whole fucking country for the next fucking awful i don t have any friend i don t have any passion everything i do is well i can t do this now because i ll be cutting it short by leaving in the summer and i m running out of time to do anything meet people get a job get a fucking treatment i tried doing therapy and i scheduled one week late because there s no fucking spot available and that s one le therapy thing i can go to because i only have two or three month left before i have to drop everything and leave again i don t know why i did this i wish i wasn t here life s just a dead fucking end and i m going to be doing this forever i ve missed out on so much and it just never get better i thought thing would get better by doing this but i wa fucking stupid a hell i m going to be permanently stuck like this because i haven t done shit with my life so far and i m never going to recover from year of just nothing nothing nothing no milestone no friendship i barely know how to function i barely know how to talk to people i can t even hide behind covid a an excuse because this is just what i ve been doing my whole life it s a waste of fucking time nothing | 1 |
do you have a certain objekt or garment that your always carry with you something that make you uneasy if you dont have it with you i personaly always carry my noice cancelling headphone although i dont necesarily use them all the time | 1 |
i accidentally put sugar in my food instead of salt so now i m eating sweet fried rice my clumsiness astounds me sometimes | 0 |
x0mrsjoejonas im okay im just really really missing my best friend | 0 |
i think the wifi on my iphone is broken it will quot connect quot but when i actually have to use it that s another story | 0 |
at work | 0 |
brian armstrong what a pity youtube is currently blocked in china i can t see the vids | 0 |
mattpro legitimately good cop out there | 0 |
kal penn you were pretty much my fave not much reason to watch now | 0 |
tw depression bello avere delle amiche che non riescono proprio a capire anche se sanno che nei periodi in cui sto davvero molto male sparisco e quando scrivo loro e cerco di rimediare come se la depressione sparisse co eh non mi rispondono nemmeno | 1 |
skylineking connor it s me febi are you really really mad at me | 0 |
tried to install a twitter application on my phone didn t work though boo | 0 |
everyday i wake up same routine i feel underappreciated by those i live with i have very few i m very close to and care about my mental state ha been on a rapid decline for month now i m basically living for my cat and the person i m closest to i just constantly have this overwhelming sense of dread and paranoia everyday my family just doesn t seem to care anytime i do anything they make me feel lesser than them because i m not like them i just cant bring to care about most thing i try to lose myself in game or reading manga i dont want to necessarily die but i m just tired of living in general i dont tell people how i feel out of not wanting to put my problem on them i have spent a lot of night lately cry my self to sleep at am | 1 |
katerih how wa the tj dinner tonight my freezer melted down | 0 |
well since i m too pusy to actually kill myself i ve just decided to tell everyone who care about me i ve past away from a random heart condition it s not like it matter i m clearly and problem and i m not worth their time of day anymore my friend are all long distance anyways it s not like they ll know my soon to be ex s mom wa right i am mental and she ha the right to not want that for her daughter and i respect that i honestly had myself fooled for a little while that i wa worth something and wa actually doing better i m never gon na be able to support her anyways i m a broke sorry fool with gas cost i can no longer afford to drive from the quad city to chicago to see you i ve failed a a man the pill only work so much it s not fair to you j that you have keep track of my suicidal as i honestly want to be able to be someone that can make you happy in the way i did and more with money and stuff i want you to finish college then go to medschool like you planned on i know you re going to make a great doctor i hope you ll be able to go back home to n c and see your family more this long distance isn t right for someone like you on top of it this isn t what someone like you need you were the most beautiful person i ve ever been with in everyway i m honestly glad for the month of an amazing relationship i m even more thankful for the year of friendship guess i just wanted someone to my reason out even though i know she ll never see this and they ll never see it i can t afford to be with you guy anymore i don t wan na be the friend with no money or boyfriend and such it s not fair i hope you don t mind i keep a photo of you guy that reminds me of why i m choosing to get better goodbye guy you re gon na be fine without me | 1 |
it s so hard getting out of bed going to work and pretending you don t have a million thing on your mind it s so hard having a conversation with a coworker pretending that you re okay it s so hard smiling at the customer while you wonder if they can tell you re not really smiling it s so hard to put on a mask everyday so you don t hear are you okay i don t want people to ask me if i m okay because i m not even sure how to answer | 1 |
why do other people get reply | 0 |
masterballerina haha but then u d have go to cambeltown omg i can t even draw well in inkart | 0 |
yes it is and i got ripped off do not shop at wow | 0 |
hibanick yeah aw but i know i wudnt stand a chance | 0 |
i think my tweetdeck is failing me | 0 |
couple of mt text didn t arrive here | 0 |
people think i am i m attitude no dude i am alone i am in depression i am in overthinking | 1 |
is wishing he loved me | 0 |
still feeling bleh spew burp and all | 0 |
i feel like i didn t do a much a i should have done in term of content creation and getting myself out there during 0 9 and 0 0 i know there s obvious reason a to why i couldn t do some of this stuff in 0 0 but i sometimes get myself really down for not doing certain thing i could have done in that time on my own i try to comfort myself when i see others who did certain thing at my age but sometimes it not enough i really hate how i feel so disoriented with my age due to not feeling like i did enough what i wa supposed to i m thinking of trying to see if i can be prescribed anti depressant so i can feel le crappy about myself | 1 |
struggling hard with inventory | 0 |
dg ball yeah if you get spraying i m going to have to pay you to spray my m at some point they dont to e m s in white in europe | 0 |
i have never been a good person i think being a bad person wa hard wired into me and i don t think i can separate myself from the bad i ve done unspeakable unforgivable thing that i can t atone for i m both a bully and a coward with so many issue that my therapist couldn t find a solution i ve written ton of letter so people can understand my exact thought process and why i need to do this it doesn t even make me sad anymore it just feel like something that need to happen | 1 |
edit i never really thought anyone would care but thank you so much for each of you for taking time out to console a random stranger it meant a lot and while i spent the night contemplating just ending it in the end reading this comment section again and again helped a lot i m still here and that s count for something i guess | 1 |
hi just wanted to share my experience and hopefully get some advice from people who suffered through same symptom when i have extreme anxiety period i can not eat almost at all i eat one small meal a day if im lucky also vomiting can not be avoided when these episode come i have vomited several time when i wa out with friend for example i would say i have to pee and i would vomit my soul out of my body how can i help myself i am tired of dealing with this | 1 |
depression do be hitting different | 1 |
i ve been on medication prescribed by my primary care doctor my therapist noticed my depression anxiety remaining pretty high and told me to talk to my doctor about it my doctor increased my dosage but also want me to see a psychiatrist who can better analyze my issue he didn t give me a referral and said i can see anyone you want preferably someone that take my insurance he did give a list of a few psychiatrist though i have been looking through my insurance s website for a psychiatrist i have also just been searching online but i don t know which one to select what criterion should i look out for are online review reliable any advice would be appreciated | 1 |
i can t do this anymore i genuinely can t it s gotten to the point where everything is too difficult and i want to quit i have severe panic attack when i can t cut deep enough i just relapsed and it wasn t even worth it the cut weren t deep enough it doesn t even matter i don t want to be here anymore it s just an endless cycle of nonstop difficulty every night it s the same thing the day seem to blend together what doe it matter anymore if i m here the world will still turn i ve never made that much of a difference who would even care i m exhausted please let me rest | 1 |
almost every day i get intrusive thought to kill myself i m having a perfectly normal day and then one thing happens and i immediately start thinking about how i should just die i just turned in february and i wa planning to do it before i turned now i m planning to do it before i m an adult i can t go into a store without going into the tool isle and looking at the dollar rope i can t stop thinking about it right now i m on a school trip in fucking hawaii for god sake music festival and all my classmate are having the time of their life but i wa sitting alone trying to stop myself from cry on the bus now i m in my hotel and the only friend those friend fucking got in a group without me so i m in a room with sophomore that i don t even know my class they all begged me to come here on the school trip for month before we came here but i didn t want to because i thought i would be dead by now now that i think about it hawaii would be a good place to end it my room in the hotel ha a balcony we ll see if i use it this week before i leave also i have derealization all of these thing make me want to just leave this world for good there s more thing to but i don t wan na talk about it | 1 |
so i have a mild stutter and i just had an epiphany i ve been letting my stutter control me but i found something amazing out i let my stutter define who i wa a a person instead of an aspect of myself it s so bad that when my parent talk to me like a normal person i d think to myself wow they act like i m normal despite my stutter they see past that and when i would work people would see my name tag and say oh i have a son named my name and i would think he probably doesn t stutter tho i let this define who i wa a a person and i let it really get to me i wa looking at old reddit post from other people asking how people view stutter and most people said they didn t care at all and even found it interesting some even said it wa hot cute made joke sound more natural and a a result more funny not like they found the stutter funny tho and one even said they were turned on by it and someone said something that stuck out to me they pretty much said how you perceive yourself is how others will so if i see myself a weird and anxious i will act that way and be perceived in that way but if i see myself a confident and charismatic and just act like my stutter doesn t bother me and even joke about it then others will perceive me a such this blew my mind a i thought everyone didn t pick up on my stutter at first and just thought i wa super weird but it s just me convincing myself of that so even tho this clicked i still can t just flick the switch off so how do i actually become confident with my stutter it s very mild and is fueled by anxiety so if i can get rid of my anxiety it ll in my opinion make me sound more charismatic and confident so i really wan na figure out how to just own it how do i do this | 1 |
headtotail thank you i feel sad but hope we can give her a nice life til the end now | 0 |
eileenb i had that a while back http tinyurl com dmukpr and i know some other people that have too | 0 |
i know vain reason to be depressed but i ve been so rejected all my life that it would be good to know if somebody remembers me | 1 |
finding it incredibly unfair that mom got more tan than i even though i spent more time in the sun miss him like crazy | 0 |
since last night my stomach wa bloated and when i went to sleep my stomach felt queasy and i wa nauseous today my stomach still doesn t feel good and am still nauseous and it s hard to eat food not sure what this is is it a stomach flu anxiety | 1 |
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