bipolar
a good friend (boyfriend) was diagnosed with bipolar by his gp 2 years ago, his wife divorced him because of the bipolar. i have made an app, with a dr, who specialises in bipolar etc. the app, is a long time away. how do i help and assist him in the meantime. i have read everything i can but have not found much help as to what i can do. as soon as the dr. confirms that he has bipolar we will be attending support groups and everything else to help. he gets very moody everytime he fetched and drops off his children and stays that was for a week or more before he comes right but then its time to fetch then again.
this is a common type of question, in esence, and there is no mystery about how to be helpful  be ubnderstanding, supportive, ask if there is something you can do to help, and above all listen to whatever he may want to discuss about his problems, if and when he wants to talk about it. sounds like you have already been very helpful about arrnaging for him to see a relevant doc, and support groups, etc. maybe he needs to take a bit more initiative about all this, himself ? presumably counselling would help him come to terms better with the divorce and the issues surrounding the children
Just do what ever you feel like, go more to the gym than usual hang out with friends more often anytime it feels like he is using you. If he asks tell him why you are doing it tho assuming of course you actually want to stick around a person like that ;3  
  
Much LOVE, and good luck! i agree with your friends. you obviously like each other because he claimed to be willing to make the long drive to see you, he willingly met your parents to good effect, and he responds well when you call him. however, we cannot know what he is thinking until he makes some positive overtures in your favor without prodding. he probably has only the vaguest ideas what to do with himself regarding the relationship with you, so maybe you should give him time to clear his head. you must give him space for a few days to a week, maybe, before calling him again. he could be concerned about a long-distance affair, he could be overwhelmed by pressures of daily life, or just grappling with his shyness (since, you say, he's not been in a relationship before). if you get a weak or no response after about a week, call him and ask him directly how he feels about your mutual arrangement. once you allow him to make the moves himself it will all turn out well. A.  I am deeply moved by your situation and understand the devastation following a desertion. Trying to understand his motivation and lack of caring re-injures you emotionally. No matter how many times you try to understand this story of betrayal it will leave you empty. This is a time to reclaim yourself and reconnect with those who love you — and whose care can fill you up. Building a network of social support takes some doing. Asking for help, expressing gratitude toward those who have extended their kindness, and immersing in the best self-care practices you can will help you feel better.


Thoughts determine the direction of our feelings and behavior. If you dwell on him you are turning your thoughts toward more difficult and unsatisfying feelings. Focusing on what you need and the loving people in your life will be better way to go.



Wishing you patience and peace,  

*Dr. Dan*  

[*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)


Struggling to Accept that He Doesn’t Care about Me keep yuorself busy, let him miss you. be happy an flirty when you two talk. give him something, new and exciting to talk about, such as your new intrest. how often can you two see ea. other? i am in a ldr... its hard, we are 9 hrs. apart... we love it when we meet... have you considered couple counseling? this would help to work on the problems that made you separate to begin with...it sounds like you both still love each other... and perhaps the separation has done the relationship some good, in making you both appreciate each other more... if you really want to know if its for real ask her to go to counseling with you... if shes serious about working on the relationship and getting back together.... she will definitely go! you both need to be more open about your feelings, and take the emotional risk if you want it to work out...best wishes!!!!!!!!! I would suggest looking for an assisted living or Memory Care program. Sounds like he needs to have a Power of Attorney assigned for finance and also one for health care. Has anyone in the family broached these topics with your father? Unfortunately, you are now in the position of needing to be more proactive in caring for your father, much like your parents did for you when you were a child unable to make decisions for yourself. It sounds like it is time for a family meeting with your siblings, if you have any, or contacting your local Department on Aging to assist you with the activities that need to be done to adequately care for your elderly father. A.  You wouldn’t go to a pediatrician if you had cancer. You wouldn’t go to a kidney specialist if you had heart trouble. All doctors are not alike. Sometimes we have to go to the right specialist to get the help we need. In your case, you need both a psychiatrist and a therapist who work together to get the right care.


The treatment of choice for your problems is a combination of medication and talk [therapy](https://psychcentral.com/psychotherapy/). [OCD](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/ocd/) and [anxiety](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/anxiety/) disorders can be treated and managed successfully. Generally, patients see their therapist weekly and, after an initial period of weekly visits to get the medication right, they see their psychiatrist every few months. When the two professionals are working in the same practice, they are able to confer with each other easily and work together to give you good care.



I understand that you have been afraid to see a mental health professional because of your grandfather’s experience. But treatments have changed considerably since your grandfather’s time. From the little you shared, I also suspect he had a much different problem.


To find a specialist, ask your primary care doctor for a referral to a practice. You can also go to the “Therapist Locator” on the homepage of PsychCentral.


Please don’t hesitate to make an appointment for an initial session. The clinician will listen to your story and will make suggestions. (Take your letter with you if you want to jump start the conversation.) You are under no obligation to follow through with the treatment plan that is proposed. But I hope you do. You’ve suffered far too long.


I wish you well.  

Dr. Marie


I Have Struggled for Years part of becoming an adult and having a family of your own is learning how to manage relationships with other people... like your own parents. it can be devastating to have a parent with mental illness, i do understand, my dad lost his battle with mental illness several years ago. however, when you are responsible for a child of your own, you've got to be able to function no matter what else is happening around you. part of that is giving yourself time and space to grieve and to feel what you are feeling rather than trying to stuff it down. find someone to talk to that you can let those tears go with, a counselor... or friend... your husband... even calling a warmline if necessary. the baby will be fine. I'm so sorry. This is hard to accept. But sometimes people get to the point that they don't want to socialize. My mother - who was once very social - simply arrived at a point where she only wanted those close to her or the nursing home staff around. She was in a lot of pain which I think was much of it.   
  
If your mother was once social, then you could ask the doctor to experiment with her medications. There may be other options.  
  
However, sometimes we have to accept that these diseases take their course and we can only do so much. Forcing what the person obviously doesn't want isn't helpful.  
  
Offering suggestions - yes - so continue to do that. I'm certain that the AL staff does the same. But you can't make it happen if it's not going to happen. Offer all of the support that you can.  
Take care of yourself, too.  
Carol it seems he has taken desperate measures because he needs his space. personally, i like to resolve issues as soon as possible. commuinication is so important to make a relationship work. i would just accept he wants his space, he obviously needs time to sort his head out before dealing with speaking to you. when he does decide to talk to you , try to explain to him that if he wants the relationship to work, you both need to commuincate to resolve any issues, rather than ignoring it for days on end.space distances two people, it doesn't bring them closer together. he can't shut you out everytime you both have an argument .relationships are measured by the bad times, not the good. so you both need to become stronger together when faced with any adversities.