is it ok to follow your own path?
i'm just trying to live life to the fullest but i'm always reminded that i have to act a certain way or be a man. i chose different from my friends and joined the military at 23. i'm still single and a virgin. never had a relationship but i have plenty of money and travelled the world and i have my own place. i feel happy at 26 but whenever someone says i made a mistake i tend to believe them, are they right that i should have chosen differently
no they are not right. if you are happy with the choices that you choose to make then who are they to try to judge you for that? you're trying your best at least from what i'm hearing and seeing to live a godly lifestyle, and they want to tell you how you're making a mistake? how about all the mistakes that they more likely made? are they married with children? or are they hopping from one girl to another girl regardless if it's a relationship casual or not and they just want to see you and them just like them? ignore the naysayers, and stay away from people that are not benefiting your life. they just want to see you screwed up because they don't like the fact that you're doing what you got to do, and they're not really focusing on what they need to do. they don't need to accept the fact that you are living the life the way you know you need to live it. if they don't like it because it makes them feel like they're not doing something? well then that's their business.personally they just sound messed up, and i just want you to be miserable like they are. you already said that you are happy, at least i believe you're content with that. it's not perfect but you're still content right? that's all that matters. i'm a virgin i never dated, i've never been with anybody at all either. and i have no regrets. i have no regrets because after going through what i went through growing up, seeing how everybody else's relationships are, and you hear what you hear on this site even more, it really makes you wonder what is the best decision for you. the bible says that people will have troubles in this life. especially when they are married, or these days having sexual relationships. this is what people want, this is what they desire, so they get what they desire. it may not be what they claim they want, but they're forgetting that every thing is a choice, and every choice has its consequences. in the end people just want the benefits and not having to deal with what they got to go through. but i'm pretty sure you're mature enough to understand this already. so regardless to what you can't allow them to try to dictate what you choose to do in your life, and if you know they're going to be bad influences anyway then you're not doing yourself a big favor by listening to them. don't be discouraged by them. whenever it is that you decide to do regardless of what people say, especially when it comes down to dating or whatever, that's a choice that you personally have to make. nobody else can make that choice for you except you and god himself. okay? understand that. i believe you're going on the right path regarding to doing what is right. and i believe that god will cover and protect you.
guilt is rarely a useful response after one has recognized that whatever one did was indeed wrong - the valuable response is then to go on and work out why it was wrong, what to learn from it, and how to avoid doing that again. 
<br/>loneliness is tough, and our society isn't kind to lonely people. and the media ( songs, tv, etc., sells to us an image of lerv that few of us achieve and which isn't actually as practical, easy and desirable as they represent it as. at least phone sex, so long as you limit it to that, is safe sex. 
<br/>work on developing friendships, at work, at church, through voluntary work, hobbies, whatever, and be open to the possibility of love when it turns up. 
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<br/> lol my life .. when i was younger in my teens i always told someof my friends i think you know what were doing has got to be in a movie one day .. countless drugs violence and vandalisim . hoplessness .. a clockwork orange couldnt touch the debotchary ive witnessed and fear and loathing pales in drug consumption . one day you wake up . your in jail b4 your 18 . your friends left . your girlfriend wont talk to you cuz she pretty much told you the whole time you were wrong . what saves you ..."do you belive in rock n roll ? can music save your mortal soul?. " please belive it .. no happy endings just a long drawn out sequal to the first decade . everything is bland .. plain .. numb .. with ligght in the distant future.. no longer surrounded by darkness at least .. but i am missing a thumb , <3
thank you for your support.

i needed to be disfellowshipped after deliberately leaving the organization. it was a sudden action after which i became gravely ill (psychological affect and immune system shutting down). it was 10 years b4 my conscience would let me approach god in prayer, even then begging to know it was okay to speak to him.
can you believe it?! no wonder i nearly died, i gave them my life.

hey, the sun shines here on the outside, whoa! 
;-)
(hope your post lasts!) wow marlboro! yikes! ouch! even though i&#39;ve been working with queer issues for many years i am still struck by what you&#39;ve told us. it is a very sad reflection on our society, where same-sex marriage is legal, that parents can throw gay youth out of their homes. ignorance and prejudice run very deep.<br><br>what are your ages?<br> probably. however, achieving more success would probably attract more fake people in your life than you might actually think. if you fall rock bottom at some point, those people will disappear and you’ll be all by yourself again. so if i were to become more successful and increase my financial status. i’d stay solo.

the rest of the people who somehow fly to me like bees on a honeycomb can pretty much fück off.

if you weren’t with or didn’t like me from before. don’t come near me now. Life is what we make of it, so it is really YOU yourself who give your life a purpose. If you feel you need friends, go out and make friends. If this is difficult for you, look up for ways to make friends. There are many sites that give good tips. If you think you need to pep up your life, go out, get a hobby, try something new, be brave and explore. You will not change your life if you don't try.Ultimately, it is down to you to make the effort to do something about it. Sometimes the best way to feel cared for is to go out there and share your love with people (that's why people who volunteer at old folks' homes, shelters or orphanages find joy in what they do - the more love they give, the more loved they feel).   

  

But having a busy social life and having thousands of friends will not make you happier or less pathetic. Try to rethink your values on what is 'pathetic'. Whose values and perspectives are you basing your assumptions on? Who's to say your life is pathetic? Some people have very few friends and don't go out much and can still enjoy their lives because they acknowledge that they don't need to be part of the crowd to be happy or have fulfilling lives.   

  

Also, if you still have family who give you food and shelter and don't abuse you, it's unfair to say nobody cares. @a myfibroteam member 

how nice of you to say that. i, like many others, have asked god why? why am i the one who has this painful, incurable illness? why am i the one with major depressive disorder? why am i the one that was sexually assaulted so many times? why am i the one who has had to take care of my sister’s children, help them pay for their educations, and support them as they navigate the waters of this crazy world we live in? why me? i made a conscious decision a few years ago, when my lifelong emotional scares got out of control, that i would make one of the answers to those questions be “to help others navigate through this thing called life”. if i can help just one person feel less alone, or like someone cares, or like there is hope after all i will have succeed at life. if i can help just one person fight back instead of giving in my life has a purpose. as a result, this normally very private person has gradually learned to be very open. i am not ashamed of the things that happened...disappointed or angry yes but not ashamed. i talk openly about how major depressive disorder has affected my life and how i’ve been able to come to terms with it. i talk openly about close brushes with suicide and what worked to get me back to a better place mentally. i talk a little less openly about the impact sexual assault had on every aspect of my life (that one is harder because i’m still working on some of the emotions and reactions around it). i talk openly about the changes i’m having to make as fibromyalgia makes itself more and more obvious in me. i’m not perfect. i still get angry and upset. i still get frustrated. i still feel hopeless sometimes. i feel all the negative emotions everyone else does but if i can help just one person, i will have a reason for all i’ve gone through. perhaps people on this site are that reason. it is my deepest hope that others don’t have to suffer as i have but, if they have, i want to use my god-given caregiver heart to help them through. 

may god bless and keep you. 

shirley i am 26 years old and have the same problems, i have had all the testing, let me know what you hear.thanks! good for you! yes, stay sober for a looong time (maybe a bit of healthy wine/beer will be ok). but those lost years and the abilities/skills won't just come in a delivery truck. you need to develop them and you can. even if you were older - but you're not. it will be ok. plants usually catch up if planted late in our garden. stay on track. good luck. see more... A. It’s difficult to assess the seriousness of this on the basis of only a letter so let me just share a couple of thoughts.

People by nature tend to fall somewhere on a scale from introvert to extrovert. It may be that at least part of this is that you are on the introvert end of the scale. There is nothing wrong with that! But, the larger culture celebrates extroverts. In high school, the general idea is that everyone is supposed to be outgoing and popular. Of course, not everyone can be. Not everyone wants to be. So let’s at least assume that part of what goes on is that you have a more restrained approach to life. One thing that supports this is that you do have a couple of close friends and that seems to be enough for you.

As for being out with others: I wonder if you have developed the skills you need to be comfortable out in the social world. Introverts can and do learn how to manage social situations enough so that they can be successful in their careers and can find loving relationships. Notice that I said “skills”. Skills are behaviors you can learn (like how to make small talk, how to be an active listener, how to be a good communicator, etc.). As you get more practiced in these skills, you will be more comfortable being with people for longer periods of time. But you will still need your alone time to “recover” from a lot of social interaction.

The line in your letter that does worry me is your statement that you can spend hours holed up in your room and in bed. Yes, you may need time to recharge your social batteries but it would do a lot more for your self-esteem if you would use that time to pursue an interest or to do something to make the world a better place. Think about ways to support a cause or candidate or to educate yourself about something you are genuinely interested in. You will feel better about yourself than if you just hang out wondering if there is something wrong with you. An important bonus is that it will give you more to talk about when you are with people.

I hope this is helpful. I wish you well.  
 Dr. Marie

I Want or Need to Be Alone