My single mom that lives out of town has dementia but does not recognize she is not safe to drive.



She can't remember to take her medications, bathe, brush her teeth and other activities of daily living on a regular basis but feels she is fine to drive when the notion strikes her, usually at night recently. I took her keys a couple weeks ago but she did not notice until Christmas eve and then called me and cussed me out. Christmas Day she did not mention it. I think she completely forgot it . Here it is 9 days later and she wanted to drive at night again and she called cussing me out once again. I don't know if this will be a vicious cycle every week or two or she will eventually accept it. There is no rationalizing with her that I'm doing it out of love and concern. Any advice from been there and done that people?
Good for you for taking her keys, before something bad were to happen.   
  
Just let her cuss. Have a standard response and let it go!
my life at this precise moment has been alot better,i got a phone call at 5am this morning from my daughters friends mam (my daughter had gone camping with her friends family)saying that my daughter has been vomiting and isn't feeling very well and my daughter really wants to come home,so i got my mam to baby sit my 3 other children and i drove to wilson's promontory(4 hours drive from me)to get my daughter.i got there fine,but on my way back i vomited and had to pull over for an hour until i felt a bit better to drive.it took 6 hours to get home,as i had to keep pulling over to be sick.when i got home i couldn't wait to get to bed,but when i got home my 3 other children were all in bed vomiting and feeling just as sick,so at the moment i am on here trying to keep myself awake until my husband gets home from work so i can go straight to bed.(keep your fingers crossed for me that my husband doesn't come home sick as well and that every one is feeling better soon. A.  I’m sorry that this is happening to you. I have worked with many families who have faced a similar situation. Your predicament is fairly common. As you noted, the law prohibits forcing someone into treatment unless a case can be made that they are a danger to themselves or to others. Imminent danger standards, make it very difficult for many people to receive help until something happens.


I would recommend becoming educated about your potential options. Start by googling “Georgia and involuntary commitment laws.” You should be able to find good information about civil commitment options in your state. According to my research, for inpatient treatment, an individual would have to meet the following criteria:


1. pose an imminent danger to self/others, evidenced by recent overt acts or expressed threats of violence OR are
2. unable to care for their own physical health and safety so as to create an imminently life endangering crisis and in need of involuntary treatment.



For outpatient treatment, a person must meet the following criteria:


1. based on treatment history or current mental status, requires outpatient treatment in order to avoid imminently becoming an impatient AND
2. is unable to voluntary seek or comply with outpatient treatment.


You might try contacting your local mental health crisis team. They may be willing to come to the home, evaluate your mother’s condition and assist her in obtaining treatment.


You should also explore guardianship laws in your state. If possible, consult a guardianship attorney to determine if anything can be done to assist your mother. At 71, it’s possible that she’s experiencing a mix of [mania](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/manic-episode/) and potentially dementia. Guardianship may be an option.


I would also recommend consulting the local National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) groups in your state. Here is a [link](https://namiga.org/) to the NAMI organization for your state. NAMI offers free support groups in communities across the country for individuals caring for loved ones with serious mental illness. They can help you to navigate the mental health system. Contact them for support and assistance.


I hope these ideas assist you in helping your mother. Please write again if you have additional questions.


Dr. Kristina Randle



How Do We Get My [Bipolar](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/) Mania Mom to Go Get Help? you don't text someone everyday unless you're like bffl. :p if you were asking her out on a date, then say yes you were asking her out on a date. then maybe she'll give you an answer.she's a single mom right? yeah, you bet she's busy... how old are her children? it would be hard for her to go on a date with you depending on how young they are and if she has someone to look after them while she's gone. she might be depressed. judicious low dose treatment might help her.... and you. see a geriatrician. Actually, under the California Implied Consent/Admin Per Se laws, you may have something to worry about. I would do two things if I were you: 1) check with the California DMV to make sure your driving status is still good so that you don't add to your sitaution by getting a driving on a suspended license charge; and 2) contact a local DUI lawyer for a free consultation to make sure you haven't missed anything (doesn't mean you have to hire anybody... just call so you know for sure rather than relying on this forum). See the source below for information on the CA DMV and implied consent for DUI cases. There are also links on that page to all of the relevant official CA DUI guides. Good luck with your case. randall, very sneaky of you (i like it!). my brother does that to my nieces every time! first make sure you have a plausible reason for where you are going. can't get on a plane, or hop in the car, on a whim, right? next, decide where you want her to find out. is it as you are leaving home, or literally not until she is getting onto the disney property? if it as you are leaving your house, you could surprise her with four park maps so that on the travel to florida she could start dreaming about what she would want to do. let her start listing out her must do! attractions! if it is as you are getting there, a lot has to do with whether you are flying, or driving. if you give me a quick follow-up question with more info on how you are going down there, i can get you some more detailed suggestions! just go to my bio page to ask. have a magical vacation! they are drawing charges against her at this moment, and at her hearing she is facing 90 days in jail. everyone who is caught on driving with suspended license isn't always taken to jail because sometimes a lot of people don't know their licenses are suspended, but they have a court date and the judge determines what their penalty will be. it all depends on the officers, city, county, etc. i wouldn't say she is getting a "get of jail" free card, but they are giving her the benefit of the doubt like other citizens. it happened to my ex boyfriend before that is why i know everyone isn't always arrested on the spot.... i agree with your friends. you obviously like each other because he claimed to be willing to make the long drive to see you, he willingly met your parents to good effect, and he responds well when you call him. however, we cannot know what he is thinking until he makes some positive overtures in your favor without prodding. he probably has only the vaguest ideas what to do with himself regarding the relationship with you, so maybe you should give him time to clear his head. you must give him space for a few days to a week, maybe, before calling him again. he could be concerned about a long-distance affair, he could be overwhelmed by pressures of daily life, or just grappling with his shyness (since, you say, he's not been in a relationship before). if you get a weak or no response after about a week, call him and ask him directly how he feels about your mutual arrangement. once you allow him to make the moves himself it will all turn out well. there is surely no reason at all why a friend of your mom&#39;s, who is not a friend of yours, should visit you or take any particular interest in your baby. simply talk calmly to your mom, and explain that while you tolerated this woman at the shower and wedding, you don&#39;t like the woman and do not want her to visit you. your mother ought to udnerstand this. r3emind her that this is your house, your home and your baby, and your privacy must be respected rather than the idle curiosity of this other woman. that sort of person pushes up the social tree exactly because they are insensitive and never take hints don’t feel guilty. i think a lot of people feel this way at some point after having kids, but no one wants to be honest or talk about it. is it not having time that is making you depressed? or is it the loss of freedom? i am a stay at home mom to a 2 1/2 year old and went through a lot of the same things you’re describing. i can tell you that it gets easier to find time as baby’s sleep gets more predictable. past that, we wound up “splitting” most weekends. i sleep in on saturday morning, and my husband sleeps in on sunday. after i wake up on saturday, he usually goes to play golf, and i go to the movies or brunch or something on sunday. i wish i could give you a magic answer, but you just have to play around with your time and see what works best for you. the worst thing you can do is let yourself get into a rut. try to talk to your wife openly and honestly about what you’re feeling.