long distance relationship/hookup question: what do you think he's thinking? i don't understand guys' behavior and am so confused :(?
so it's more of a long distance hook up than a relationship. we met once hooked up and he asked if i wanted to do it again and make this a thing (he's said that he would drive back to see me and it's a 5hr drive). he also said this situation was different compared to his last long distance hookup and that he didn't wanna know what i did when he wasn't here and i said same. 
we texted/snapchatted everyday for a/b 3 weeks before we met up again. i was in his city w/ my parents who would only let us meet if they met him, and he agreed (although i told him we could just meet up another time and it wasn't a big deal). he hit it off with them and so when we went to hangout. i thanked him for be really nice a/b everything and how i thought it was gonna scare him off by meeting my parents for a few min especially since it's really early and we're just hooking up right? i just wanted him to make sure that he knew that i knew what we were doing and that i wasn't trying to trick him into dating me or something ( i like him but it's still early) and he kind of shrugged and said that he was surprised they let him take me out (we just went back to his place and hooked up/talked) but why did he shrug instead of just saying yes?
we texted/snapchatted for almost a week afterwards but i always initiate everything and he responds and we talk for awhile and stuff but he never really starts it. my friends think i shouldn't do anything for a few days just to see what happens and then if he doesn't do anything then i'll know where his head is at. any thoughts? i'm clueless when it comes to these things (we're both 20 and both have never been in relationships before).
i agree with your friends. you obviously like each other because he claimed to be willing to make the long drive to see you, he willingly met your parents to good effect, and he responds well when you call him. however, we cannot know what he is thinking until he makes some positive overtures in your favor without prodding. he probably has only the vaguest ideas what to do with himself regarding the relationship with you, so maybe you should give him time to clear his head. you must give him space for a few days to a week, maybe, before calling him again. he could be concerned about a long-distance affair, he could be overwhelmed by pressures of daily life, or just grappling with his shyness (since, you say, he's not been in a relationship before). if you get a weak or no response after about a week, call him and ask him directly how he feels about your mutual arrangement. once you allow him to make the moves himself it will all turn out well.
ok..first of all: love is a word too big to be brought into this discussion. and second: although u found this question to be awkward, once u stay and think for a minute it isn't like that at all. whether u like it or not, sex is part of our life, and it keeps getting more and more important as time goes by. it is true, a few time ago it was kinda ta-bu subject, but now the "sex topic" is as common as...let's say...listening to music! so in an era that promotes and gives a great importance to sex questions like "do girls fantasize about having sex wen they see a hot guy?" are not out of order. on the other hand, it is obvious that he is more experienced in this subject than u are. as a prove we have your "cry for help" here. remember that: a guy will almost never give up an opportunity to have sex! but this doesn't mean your guy is only interested in having sex with you. in this case maybe he would have asked u out already. my advice is for you not to waste any more time by limiting yourself to only simple conversations with him. this could have 2 implications:
1. you fall for him because his "sweet talks" and maybe this is what he is waiting for.
2. this potential relationship evolves into a simple friendship relation, which would be not so good, since you clearly have feelings for him.
so ask him out, or at least make him ask u out! good luck! You know this question could be answered either way. "Yes, he might be", or "no he really cares". Let's assume he likes talking with you and seeing you at the visitation. He likes that you are showing him attention. There is a chance that this relationship can grow beyond where it would have if he was out. Maybe you get to know each other better and he becomes more into you. Life is too short, you have to let this play out.


I'm sure you have great instincts (your inner feeling already knows), you have to trust yourself enough to make the right decision. Give it some time, try not to be too hard on yourself. He might be a rascal and a dirty dog too, but I vote for giving it a try and see how it plays out. You are in control of this relationship and every inmate knows this fact. Since the inmate loses control of what goes on in the outside world and he will often try to keep that control over the phone or letters. Just trust yourself and what you see and feel. maybe you should ask him. A. It is not uncommon for people to have had a few intimate relationships by their late 20s. My guess is that you being a virgin and her having had experience in relationships is at the root of your concern. It is hard to imagine something we have not experienced.

That having been said it is important to note that at this stage of life it is unlikely that you will meet anyone that has not had a past romantic relationship. I would focus on the here and now you have with her. Here is what you have said:

1. She has stopped contact with others. This is a very good sign of her intention and commitment.
2. She has described her relationships in a way that makes sense – meaning that she was not in love and maintained them because she wanted options.
3. Her relationship with you has changed her thoughts and feelings about herself and what she wants.

Taken together this would seem to be a good indication of her commitment and willingness to be a partner with you. Your relationship is new, and this will mean that as you grow together these concerns are likely to take a back seat. Meditation may be an excellent way for you to modulate your feelings and angst about the situation. Over time her commitment to you will dispel these concerns.

Wishing you patience and peace,  
 *Dr. Dan*  
 [*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)

Issue with Girlfriend’s Past A.  I am deeply moved by your situation and understand the devastation following a desertion. Trying to understand his motivation and lack of caring re-injures you emotionally. No matter how many times you try to understand this story of betrayal it will leave you empty. This is a time to reclaim yourself and reconnect with those who love you — and whose care can fill you up. Building a network of social support takes some doing. Asking for help, expressing gratitude toward those who have extended their kindness, and immersing in the best self-care practices you can will help you feel better.


Thoughts determine the direction of our feelings and behavior. If you dwell on him you are turning your thoughts toward more difficult and unsatisfying feelings. Focusing on what you need and the loving people in your life will be better way to go.



Wishing you patience and peace,  

*Dr. Dan*  

[*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)


Struggling to Accept that He Doesn’t Care about Me fantasies are one thing, and reality another. no form of acting out such a fantasy would benefit anyone, and it would be highly likely to end up as hurtful and to severely damage your relationship. good advice all round, and poppie&#39;s ideas might be worth trying. if you had a fantasy involving high physical danger to him, or something like you leading him, naked, through the supermarket with a rope round his neck, would he be so eager to act it out for you, and accept the ridicule that would abound on him ? consider marriage counselling to work on what leads him, not to the fantasies, but to want to act out something so inevitably destructive to your marriage here's your best answer- just tell him your true feelings. he will appreciate you being honest with him. looks like he’s using a texting app which uses data not texts you can ask others or if you see them, just look at their facial expressions and other body language.  i avoided and ignored a jerk at the gym and the last time i saw him, he didn't even acknowledge me (fortunately).  so i know i either hurt his feelings or made him mad. plz don't break your relationship... bcoz now u have more responsibilities than before... u have 2 maintain your relationship vth both your hubby and your kid.. treat your hubby also like your baby. give equal importance to both. do wt ever he likes and try to love him more than before.