Mom has dementia and will not exercise but only lie down in her totally silent room all day, if she can, and arises more confused. Is this ok?



She takes only Namenda XR 28mg and Lisinopril so her refusal to most types of personal interaction or any mental stimulation is frustrating. As her caregiver and son I think I must face the reality of the devastation of this disease as she will not partake of any activities she once did. Is there anything else I can do to get her physically or socially engaged?
I'm so sorry. This is hard to accept. But sometimes people get to the point that they don't want to socialize. My mother - who was once very social - simply arrived at a point where she only wanted those close to her or the nursing home staff around. She was in a lot of pain which I think was much of it.   
  
If your mother was once social, then you could ask the doctor to experiment with her medications. There may be other options.  
  
However, sometimes we have to accept that these diseases take their course and we can only do so much. Forcing what the person obviously doesn't want isn't helpful.  
  
Offering suggestions - yes - so continue to do that. I'm certain that the AL staff does the same. But you can't make it happen if it's not going to happen. Offer all of the support that you can.  
Take care of yourself, too.  
Carol
she might be depressed. judicious low dose treatment might help her.... and you. see a geriatrician. A.  I’m sorry that this is happening to you. I have worked with many families who have faced a similar situation. Your predicament is fairly common. As you noted, the law prohibits forcing someone into treatment unless a case can be made that they are a danger to themselves or to others. Imminent danger standards, make it very difficult for many people to receive help until something happens.


I would recommend becoming educated about your potential options. Start by googling “Georgia and involuntary commitment laws.” You should be able to find good information about civil commitment options in your state. According to my research, for inpatient treatment, an individual would have to meet the following criteria:


1. pose an imminent danger to self/others, evidenced by recent overt acts or expressed threats of violence OR are
2. unable to care for their own physical health and safety so as to create an imminently life endangering crisis and in need of involuntary treatment.



For outpatient treatment, a person must meet the following criteria:


1. based on treatment history or current mental status, requires outpatient treatment in order to avoid imminently becoming an impatient AND
2. is unable to voluntary seek or comply with outpatient treatment.


You might try contacting your local mental health crisis team. They may be willing to come to the home, evaluate your mother’s condition and assist her in obtaining treatment.


You should also explore guardianship laws in your state. If possible, consult a guardianship attorney to determine if anything can be done to assist your mother. At 71, it’s possible that she’s experiencing a mix of [mania](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/manic-episode/) and potentially dementia. Guardianship may be an option.


I would also recommend consulting the local National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) groups in your state. Here is a [link](https://namiga.org/) to the NAMI organization for your state. NAMI offers free support groups in communities across the country for individuals caring for loved ones with serious mental illness. They can help you to navigate the mental health system. Contact them for support and assistance.


I hope these ideas assist you in helping your mother. Please write again if you have additional questions.


Dr. Kristina Randle



How Do We Get My [Bipolar](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/) Mania Mom to Go Get Help? in many cases it can be treated or managed. first step - a medical consultation to rule out medical conditions, medication, etc. a psychological or psychiatric eval can determine if the insomnia is really part of a treatable psychiatric condition, and practicing good sleep hygiene / working with a psychologist can help. http://cpancf.com/articles\_files/sleephygienehandout.asp. see more... i'm guessing she's a bit envious of you because she knows she should be exercising but isn't. that would explain why she shuts you down quickly by changing the topic. it's something she doesn't want to deal with.

remember that you don't need her approval or encouragement. it would be nice to have but she can't do that for you when it comes to your running success. 

good luck with the 1/2 marathon! that is what the data suggests. "the tamsulosin cohort had a higher incident risk of dementia compared with both the no medication group and the alternative medication group." this was from a study of medicare data of over 250,000 men who were 65 or older. ref: https://www.practiceupdate.com/content/dementia-risk-associated-with-tamsulosin-in-benign-prostatic-hyperplasia/71451 see more... no. people who have been in a persistent vegetative state rarely just open their eyes and start asking questions- like "how long have i been out?"- like on tv. they very gradually begin to be aware of their surroundings, and no- they don't bound out of the bed either. they are weakened and have lost muscle tone, and generally have a catheter in place! 
i always laugh when i see a scene like you described! A.Insomnia is no joke. Not getting sufficient [sleep](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/sleep/) at any age, but especially as a teen, is serious business. Sleep disorders can cause [depression](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/depression/), [anxiety](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/anxiety/), diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease. According to a poll done in 2005 by Sleep in America, people who were diagnosed with depression or anxiety were more likely to sleep less than six hours at night. A study done in 2007 showed that people with insomnia are 5 times as likely to be depressed as those who got sufficient sleep. At your age “sufficient” means 8 – 9 hours a night.

I urge you to go back to your medical doctor for more tests. I’m alarmed that you were drinking enough but not staying hydrated. There’s more to that than sleep deprivation. I’m also alarmed that apparently you were given a “diagnosis” but not then given a treatment plan to regulate your sleep.

If your primary care physician isn’t able to help you, get a referral to a sleep medicine clinic for a sleep study. Such clinics do a thorough evaluation of how much sleep a person gets and how often and for how long the person is awake. You may be sent home with a monitor to wear. More likely, you will be asked to spend the night at the clinic where they will monitor you throughout the night. You will sleep in a comfortable room in a comfortable bed. You can usually even bring your own pajamas.

Don’t be scared. A sleep study isn’t painful. Doctors or technicians will monitor you while you sleep. Little disks called electrodes will be temporarily glued to your head and attached to an EEG (*electroencephalogram*) machine. This will monitor the electrical impulses in your brain while you sleep and will show the technician how you are moving through the stages of sleep. It will measure possible interruptions in the pattern of your sleep. The technicians will also measure things such as eye movements, oxygen levels in your blood, heart and breathing rates, who much you snore, and how your body moves as you sleep.

The data from your sleep study will be evaluated by your doctor. You will then have a follow up appointment with your doctor to discuss the results and what may need to be done to help you have more regular and restorative sleep.

Please share this response with your parents. I don’t think you are lying or faking. I think you have an untreated medical condition that left untreated will only make things worse.

I wish you well.

Dr. Marie

 

How Do I Get my Parents to Believe I’m Depressed? A.  You are right to be concerned. It sounds like your daughter has been increasingly isolating herself. Although successful in that she goes to school, her friendship circle is very limited for someone her age. Although it’s not unusual for people to talk through problems or to review their day with themselves in the privacy of the bathroom or their own room, your report that she may be punishing herself by screaming and slapping isn’t typical or okay.


Sometimes our kids can’t tell us what is troubling them so they consciously or unconsciously leave hints around so that we’ll find them. Kids sometimes “accidentally” leave a diary open where we’ll find it or “accidentally” leave a distressing email open on the family computer, for example. It’s their way of sending out a distress signal without having to quite take responsibility for doing so.



I’m guessing your daughter’s lengthy time in the bathroom is something like that. On some level she knows that you will be concerned about a two-hour stay in there.


It’s past time for you to respond to the signal. Find a therapist who specializes in young adults. Ask your doctor for a referral or click on the “Find Help” tab on the PsychCentral homepage. There may also be a behavioral health clinic at her college. Brief the therapist on the phone and ask for some guidance about how to get your daughter to go in. (Sometimes it’s helpful if a parent goes to part of the first session.) 


Then, in a loving way, let your daughter know how concerned you are. Tell her that you know that she is upset and that you want to help. Reassure her that she doesn’t deserve to be punished by herself or by anyone else – no matter what. Insist that she see the counselor. Tell her you are willing to go with her. Don’t argue. Don’t get mad. Stay in that loving, concerned place.


[Parenting](https://psychcentral.com/lib/category/parenting/) doesn’t end because a child is at the age to start leaving home. We all have to figure out when to let go and when to still pull the “parent card.” In this situation, your daughter is telling you without words that she needs you to be a mom. Please follow through. She sounds like she really needs help.


I wish you well.  

Dr. Marie


Daughter Talks to Herself she obviously has nothing better to do.
she has low self worth. Hello Rahma,



The condition of your mother who experienced the complaints as mentioned should not be taken lightly, especially if accompanied by blurred vision. These complaints can be caused by various medical conditions including:



Inflammation of the cornea or part of the eyeball that is black due to infection with fungi, bacteria, viruses, etc. Glaucoma or damage to the nerves in the eye due to increased eye pressure



Because it can be caused by various medical conditions, direct examination by a doctor is necessary. The doctor will examine especially your mother's eyes and perform additional examinations if needed. Treatment will adjust to the underlying cause, which can be eye drops containing antibiotics, anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal, etc.



Some tips that can be done regarding your mother's condition:



Do not rub the eyes Warm compresses on the swollen parts of the eye Do not use eye drops without doctor's instructions Consume nutritious food and get enough rest



If the complaints that your mother is experiencing are getting worse, then it's a good idea to immediately visit an eye doctor to get the right treatment



May be useful



dr. M. Rizki