husbands fantasy
my husband has this fantasy of me and another women having sex with him and with each other. i don&#39;t know what to do whether to give in to this fanatasy of his of not i am afraid that it will destroy our love and marriage if we let another women of man into our marriage. maybe he will start to love the other women of like her more that me. any advice please help i want to make him happy but am not sure what to do.
fantasies are one thing, and reality another. no form of acting out such a fantasy would benefit anyone, and it would be highly likely to end up as hurtful and to severely damage your relationship. good advice all round, and poppie&#39;s ideas might be worth trying. if you had a fantasy involving high physical danger to him, or something like you leading him, naked, through the supermarket with a rope round his neck, would he be so eager to act it out for you, and accept the ridicule that would abound on him ? consider marriage counselling to work on what leads him, not to the fantasies, but to want to act out something so inevitably destructive to your marriage
ok..first of all: love is a word too big to be brought into this discussion. and second: although u found this question to be awkward, once u stay and think for a minute it isn't like that at all. whether u like it or not, sex is part of our life, and it keeps getting more and more important as time goes by. it is true, a few time ago it was kinda ta-bu subject, but now the "sex topic" is as common as...let's say...listening to music! so in an era that promotes and gives a great importance to sex questions like "do girls fantasize about having sex wen they see a hot guy?" are not out of order. on the other hand, it is obvious that he is more experienced in this subject than u are. as a prove we have your "cry for help" here. remember that: a guy will almost never give up an opportunity to have sex! but this doesn't mean your guy is only interested in having sex with you. in this case maybe he would have asked u out already. my advice is for you not to waste any more time by limiting yourself to only simple conversations with him. this could have 2 implications:
1. you fall for him because his "sweet talks" and maybe this is what he is waiting for.
2. this potential relationship evolves into a simple friendship relation, which would be not so good, since you clearly have feelings for him.
so ask him out, or at least make him ask u out! good luck! reasons why men can cheat.relationship problems:insecurity (afraid you will cheat on him, yhe doesn't believe you)he isn't interested in you anymorehe isn't satisfied sexually anymorethere is no intimacy anymore (intimacy is more than only having sex)there is no connection anymorehe doesn't feel safe with, emotionallyyou don't understand him, you don't listen to himyou are fighting a lot with him you are not excited anymorehe lost interest in youyou don't want to spend time with him revengewhy he likes to cheat:more female attentionconfidence boostfeeling desired and appreciated by womenexcitement / thrillpleasure having funsex without attachments (no relationship), one night standsfreedom meeting new women A. I’m very glad that you are asking these questions before you get married. You’ve listed a number of issues that make it difficult for a couple to have a mutually satisfying and happy sex life. Your fiance has suffered a traumatic sexual assault. Religious teachings from an early age may have taught her that sex outside of marriage is morally wrong. On top of that, she is just plain tired.


It is a positive comment on your sensitivity and love that you are seeking answers instead of just being upset or blaming. That speaks well for your relationship. Since the two of you have such a difficult time talking about sex, I think you need some help. A counselor can provide a safe place and guidance so that you can work this through. Since you both have a Christian background, a Christian couples counselor might be a good choice.



I wish you well.  

Dr. Marie


How Can My Fiance and I Have a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life? i hear you and feel so sorry for you that it's not working out as you want... i hear you actually you're like a dear friend of mine...but i can't help but point out a few points. seriously, listen up i'm not trying to judge you or anything.. belive me. but you know it's so uncool of you to say that you've been used, since you both agreed to have sex, come on.. we're grown ups not underage girls.. how the heck the 'being used' part come from?(actually that kind of attitude might have freaked him out i think..) and also i don't really see what he has done wrong so far if it was clear you two were just friends with benefits. i mean seriously, he's not your boyfriend, and you're acting like as if he is.. but you know.. i completely understand that you're having hard time with your ex. you liked him so sweet and listened to you.. trying to understand what you're going throw.. your bf's hurting you, it's because i see girls who suffer from bad relationship and honestly? if he's no good for you and he's hurting you and if another guy help you get out of that deep hell, go for it(im selfish i know, sorry). but you aren't happy, because you found a wrong guy(not that he's wrong, it's just he is not a guy who can give you what you need and want) that made it clear that it was just sex, and you two are kinda friends(well you claim) which is fine. but you want him to be there for you, and be only with you no other girls. don't you see? why he's leaving you?how to change his mind.. honestly? after all these? that you freaked him out and you broke the rule of friends with benefits which is called 'feelings' with it's best friend 'jealousy', you were cheating on your boyfriend, and you said all your relationship with other guy? i don't see any possibilities(girls! don't you think it's a little bit unfair that to say i wanna be who i am , asking guys to be some kind of knights? ... )i hope you find another new sencere sweet boyfriend, i really do. but right now.. i really hate to say it but you and him? i don't think it's gonna happen. i'm so sorry... i think i haven't been any helpful but all mean words.. but i have dear friend who is going throw what you're going through...(at least it seems like to me..). and i really really hope you the best... really... a big hug.. find a guy who can give you want you want.. who can love you.. really..you be the dreamy girl... not despressed lonely girl... then right guy will come out..! some do probably. others are just more conservative and don't think that women sleeping around is a good thing. although some of those are probably hypocrites who watch a lot of porn and would love to have sex with a lot of women if they could, not all of them though. you're also off on the idea that everything is entirely up to women, and that the power dynamic will flip when you're older. neither of these things are true at all. it's not entirely up to women or else women would never get hurt, and the whole power dynamic flipping at 30+ thing is a cope for guys who can't get laid in their 20s. You know, it happens tp the most of us.  
  
it's like , the more you do one thing, the lesser and lesser you get interested in it.  
  
When he loved you, he thought that he could keep it up forever (Assuming that he ever did love you for you and not anything else).  
  
But that's what usually happens these days to couples that ends up divorcing each other.  
Either they cheat on each other or they get dissatisfaction from each other.  
  
People dont tend to stay together and work it out anymore. They just give up so easily.  
  
He may have loved you. But i dont think he does anymore. And if you plan to move forward with him, i dont think it'll be a good idea. Coz i think that when "not feeling it" moment comes into the lifes of a couple, thats when they go out and ends up CHEATING on each other. Just do what ever you feel like, go more to the gym than usual hang out with friends more often anytime it feels like he is using you. If he asks tell him why you are doing it tho assuming of course you actually want to stick around a person like that ;3  
  
Much LOVE, and good luck! being married for 20 years i find the idea exciting and a major turn on. in fact i find it so hot. a number of years ago my wife went away for a girls weekend twice to a local beach-ie island getaway. we're very open and she told me how she was a bad girl in the party/bar pool. a hot guy was digging her and bought all her drinks. they got really touchy feely in the pool and she enjoyed being grouped and rubbed and grouping rubbing him. she even snuck her hands in his swim shorts and played with him. this action went on for hours. stroking, rubbing, grabbing, making out.when she got home i threw her in bed, made her tell me her all the dirty details, then we had the hottest sex. the next year she went back for the same girls weekend. i basically gave her open permission to do what she wants. i even highly encouraged her to be even more dirty. but she doesn't really have an interest in doing more, so her dirtiness didn't get any more than the first time she was there. nevertheless she came home and we banged hard as she told me the bad things she did do. that is about as wild as things have gotten, mostly because she doesn't have an interest to do more with other guys. however, i would be open to having a very kinky arrangements if she was game. plz don't break your relationship... bcoz now u have more responsibilities than before... u have 2 maintain your relationship vth both your hubby and your kid.. treat your hubby also like your baby. give equal importance to both. do wt ever he likes and try to love him more than before. i once experienced a guy who told me he had two fuckbuddies.. he also said he really wanted to have sex with me, and he told me he had the fuckbuddies because he did not want me to think it could evolve into a relationship. i ended up only making out with that guy :d