how to help my daughter
dear cs<br><br>thanks for your prompt reply to my problem. i must admit that i did not think about councelling sessions for her, as she is a 3rd year psychology student!!! she has such great plans for her future (or so she is always telling me) that i did not realize that she has low self esteem. i will suggest counselling to her.... <br><br>thanks again.<br>jenny.
dear jenny, <br>i can assure you that psychology students are far from immune to needing counselling ! not even psychologists are immune. and you could point out to her that at the very least she should be able to learn usefully about herself and about such problems, even if in the process she and her counsellor conclude that she personally has no particular problem. it&#39;ll be valuable practical experience for her ! <br>and maybe print out lindie&#39;s helpful and insighful message, and let her see it, for some valuable first-hand testimony on the value of this process !
help. the starting point is a comprehensive psychological assessment. talking therapy is important. cognitive behavioral therapy can be very effective. you may need medications. if you have active thoughts about killing yourself with a plan - then you need to be seen asap at the nearest emergency room. there is hope. you are worthy of getting excellent treatment. see more... A.  You are right to be concerned. It sounds like your daughter has been increasingly isolating herself. Although successful in that she goes to school, her friendship circle is very limited for someone her age. Although it’s not unusual for people to talk through problems or to review their day with themselves in the privacy of the bathroom or their own room, your report that she may be punishing herself by screaming and slapping isn’t typical or okay.


Sometimes our kids can’t tell us what is troubling them so they consciously or unconsciously leave hints around so that we’ll find them. Kids sometimes “accidentally” leave a diary open where we’ll find it or “accidentally” leave a distressing email open on the family computer, for example. It’s their way of sending out a distress signal without having to quite take responsibility for doing so.



I’m guessing your daughter’s lengthy time in the bathroom is something like that. On some level she knows that you will be concerned about a two-hour stay in there.


It’s past time for you to respond to the signal. Find a therapist who specializes in young adults. Ask your doctor for a referral or click on the “Find Help” tab on the PsychCentral homepage. There may also be a behavioral health clinic at her college. Brief the therapist on the phone and ask for some guidance about how to get your daughter to go in. (Sometimes it’s helpful if a parent goes to part of the first session.) 


Then, in a loving way, let your daughter know how concerned you are. Tell her that you know that she is upset and that you want to help. Reassure her that she doesn’t deserve to be punished by herself or by anyone else – no matter what. Insist that she see the counselor. Tell her you are willing to go with her. Don’t argue. Don’t get mad. Stay in that loving, concerned place.


[Parenting](https://psychcentral.com/lib/category/parenting/) doesn’t end because a child is at the age to start leaving home. We all have to figure out when to let go and when to still pull the “parent card.” In this situation, your daughter is telling you without words that she needs you to be a mom. Please follow through. She sounds like she really needs help.


I wish you well.  

Dr. Marie


Daughter Talks to Herself have you considered couple counseling? this would help to work on the problems that made you separate to begin with...it sounds like you both still love each other... and perhaps the separation has done the relationship some good, in making you both appreciate each other more... if you really want to know if its for real ask her to go to counseling with you... if shes serious about working on the relationship and getting back together.... she will definitely go! you both need to be more open about your feelings, and take the emotional risk if you want it to work out...best wishes!!!!!!!!! those who have studied school psychology will be able to work with children who may have some issues in life. there are some children who sometimes need someone to talk to. the school psychologist will be the right person for that. a school she might be depressed. judicious low dose treatment might help her.... and you. see a geriatrician. how to recover? first stop degrading yourself. then stop associating yourself with negativity. then start associating yourself with positivity. then start building your confidence and accept the fact that the good women don't care about height and looks and disorders. realize that a good woman will love you for you, and go about being a positive member of society. if you keep your current state of mind, there is no hope. because you are actually good looking and really not even short. just regular like everyone else. good luck! part of becoming an adult and having a family of your own is learning how to manage relationships with other people... like your own parents. it can be devastating to have a parent with mental illness, i do understand, my dad lost his battle with mental illness several years ago. however, when you are responsible for a child of your own, you've got to be able to function no matter what else is happening around you. part of that is giving yourself time and space to grieve and to feel what you are feeling rather than trying to stuff it down. find someone to talk to that you can let those tears go with, a counselor... or friend... your husband... even calling a warmline if necessary. the baby will be fine. At your age, it's tough because girls (and young people on a whole) are so fixated on things like physical appearance and social standing among peers. These are things that become less important as you get even just barely older, particularly the latter as no 22+ year old cares if you're "popular". That said, just work on your dating and conversation skills. Find some really fat, ugly girl and take her out on dates. The whole time, act like she's the most beautiful, most interesting girl you've ever met. Come up with things to talk about, jokes to say, and places to take her. All this refinement will come in handy when you hit your stride and the girls you take out find that you're just more interesting and fun than all the other guys that they've gone out with. It'll work, I promise. A. It is not uncommon for people to have had a few intimate relationships by their late 20s. My guess is that you being a virgin and her having had experience in relationships is at the root of your concern. It is hard to imagine something we have not experienced.

That having been said it is important to note that at this stage of life it is unlikely that you will meet anyone that has not had a past romantic relationship. I would focus on the here and now you have with her. Here is what you have said:

1. She has stopped contact with others. This is a very good sign of her intention and commitment.
2. She has described her relationships in a way that makes sense – meaning that she was not in love and maintained them because she wanted options.
3. Her relationship with you has changed her thoughts and feelings about herself and what she wants.

Taken together this would seem to be a good indication of her commitment and willingness to be a partner with you. Your relationship is new, and this will mean that as you grow together these concerns are likely to take a back seat. Meditation may be an excellent way for you to modulate your feelings and angst about the situation. Over time her commitment to you will dispel these concerns.

Wishing you patience and peace,  
 *Dr. Dan*  
 [*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)

Issue with Girlfriend’s Past well start by changing the way you dress and do a full 180 on the way your currently living life and see if she catches on. be the responsible man that will attract her attention. own your own life and live it to the fullest and if you can do that anything can happen.