what can i do about my little brother?
my little brother (14) has a very obvious anger problem. he will go into fits of rage over things like his xbox. he has threatened my mother, my sister, and even me by saying he will kill us, shoot us in our sleep, or stab us. he has pulled a knife on my mother before. he will call us "stupid bitches" "fat bitches"...*****, *****, whore, whore....etc. he has pummeled my sister to the point where her entire shoulder and arm were bruised and sore for nearly a week. he has hit me as well.
his first major indecent was before christmas, my mother told him if he didn't change his behavior he wouldn't get the xbox, he flipped out and literally flipped our dining room table, breaking glass and just making a mess. we (my sister and i) cleaned it up. my brother came out of his room again and tried to play innocent and act like he did nothing. when he demanded that he get the game system, our mother said no so he trashed our living room. flipping the table in there, dumping the trash and such...and after all that, he still got the xbox.
today, he got angry because he wasn't allowed to play his xbox. i told my sister to lock herself in her room because i know how he gets hen he's angry. i go into the kitchen (he's in the dining room) and next thing i know, i have something flying towards my face. it hit my cheekbone. i looked up at him and all he had to say was "that's what you get *****!" i told him i was calling the police and went to grab the phone off the table, but he grabbed it from me. the back panel to the battery compartment was still in my hand and i lost my temper and chucked it at him, it him in his face. i then went and locked myself in my room and called my mother and step father telling them they needed to get home to deal with their son or i'd call the police.
my step father gets home, and was more angry at me because i made his son bleed. (the little piece of plastic cut him...) he didn't care that i had been hit or that he was cursing at my sister and i, but only that his son had been hurt.
like usual, he wasn't punished. i left the house in anger to come back later finding that my parents had not done a damn thing but instead actually let him go outside to play. 

now, i am 20 year old and i cannot do anything about this. i have already been told if i lay my hands on my brother i will have the police called on me, yet my brother continues to treat the woman of the house like **** and my mother and step father have refused to get him any help. they say he doesn't need any help or "hey's just being a typical boy"....
i've talked to my step father before and he seems to think that it's our fault because we don't include him in anything we do (which is a lie) or that it's our fault because we instigate his anger (like we deserve it!)

i don't know what to do. i don't want to have my 15 year old sister hurt even more by him, especially when we can do nothing back because we get in trouble for defending ourselves. (since he's the younger and smaller of us all). i don;t want this to get to the point where someone ends up in the hospital or worse.

should i go to the police? or make a report with child services or something? my brother desperately needs anger management, but then only way he'll get it is if someone forces my parents to do so. :'(

this is our living and dining room after his first episode.

[http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q616/ginganinja1323/f3f77fbe.jpg

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q616/ginganinja1323/35d8c0c7.jpg
since you're an adult, you can report it to child services, as child endangerment for your sister. he is a threat to her well being. the problems with that are 1) she could be put in foster care 2) they may not do anything. 
i'm not sure how much the police would do, considering he is a minor, but they might require him to go through anger management. i think they would do something because he is abusing and harassing your family, especially your little sister. i think that no matter what, you need to take this to someone outside of the family, seeing as your family won't step in. whether it be a counselor, the police or child services, someone needs to step in for both your family and his sake. as he gets older, this could escalate, and he could end up actually killing someone. he needs help. 
if you actually think he might kill you, you for sure need to do something and soon. 
i am so sorry you are in this situation.
i pray all things work out for the best of everyone and that there are no more injuries
hi lg, <br>it&#39;ll be interesting to see ( after the weekend, when most readers will be back ) what other people think of the situation you describe. it sounds as if your parents probably are a bit too strict, but with all they hear and see of the dangers of the world today, one can understand their fears  and its even worse when parents don&#39;t care at all. sometimes they may seem to be hypocritical, when they&#39;re actually trying to get you to avoid mistakes they made. your sister sounds immature and spiteful. what would they think if you said you wanted to see a shrink or counsellor to work on the problems they have identified in your behaviour ? ( that way, it makes it harder for them to object  and indeed these diferent perceptions of what is a "problem") ought to be part of what you&#39;d discuss with a counsellor. be cautious about your overdose idea  apart from the obvious dangers to yourself, it&#39;d surely also give them much sronger grounds for being even stricter, which is the exact opposite of what you want to achieve. I recently found out that my grandpa did not treat my grandma very kindly. He died about 18 years ago and my grandma died about 7 years ago. Recently I was talking to my dad (who knew about how his dad treated his mom) and found out that how he always put her down and insulted her and my aunt. I guess he wanted a son but was not too pleased when their first child was a daughter and their second child who was a boy was stillborn. I guess he blamed my grandma for that as well. He controlled their money and I guess was just mentally abusive. I remember him being grouchy most of the time but I also remember my grandma being a little grouchy too so I just assumed that’s how they were. I was about 13 when he died. My dad did tell me he was never physically abusive but the whole thing still bothers me. I am told that I take after my other grandpa who would bend over backwards to help people but he died before I was born. A.  You are right to be concerned. It sounds like your daughter has been increasingly isolating herself. Although successful in that she goes to school, her friendship circle is very limited for someone her age. Although it’s not unusual for people to talk through problems or to review their day with themselves in the privacy of the bathroom or their own room, your report that she may be punishing herself by screaming and slapping isn’t typical or okay.


Sometimes our kids can’t tell us what is troubling them so they consciously or unconsciously leave hints around so that we’ll find them. Kids sometimes “accidentally” leave a diary open where we’ll find it or “accidentally” leave a distressing email open on the family computer, for example. It’s their way of sending out a distress signal without having to quite take responsibility for doing so.



I’m guessing your daughter’s lengthy time in the bathroom is something like that. On some level she knows that you will be concerned about a two-hour stay in there.


It’s past time for you to respond to the signal. Find a therapist who specializes in young adults. Ask your doctor for a referral or click on the “Find Help” tab on the PsychCentral homepage. There may also be a behavioral health clinic at her college. Brief the therapist on the phone and ask for some guidance about how to get your daughter to go in. (Sometimes it’s helpful if a parent goes to part of the first session.) 


Then, in a loving way, let your daughter know how concerned you are. Tell her that you know that she is upset and that you want to help. Reassure her that she doesn’t deserve to be punished by herself or by anyone else – no matter what. Insist that she see the counselor. Tell her you are willing to go with her. Don’t argue. Don’t get mad. Stay in that loving, concerned place.


[Parenting](https://psychcentral.com/lib/category/parenting/) doesn’t end because a child is at the age to start leaving home. We all have to figure out when to let go and when to still pull the “parent card.” In this situation, your daughter is telling you without words that she needs you to be a mom. Please follow through. She sounds like she really needs help.


I wish you well.  

Dr. Marie


Daughter Talks to Herself In my opinion Its not your fault that your friend got mad. You didn't do anything wrong, i think you should just try and talk to her to clear things up and if she won't listen to you thats on her you shoud take to her pediatrician or er, she might need chest x ray just to make sure there is no fraction, give her tylenol (acetaminophen) or ibuprofen for pain, ice the sure bruised area until she gets cheched. i hope she feels better soon. good luck. see more... A.Thank you for writing. I’m sure this is hard to live with. I think you keep having the fantasies because at some point they worked for you. You are a sensitive young woman who has a strong moral compass.

In 7th grade, you knew you had done something wrong and earned the reprimand. But, being you, you couldn’t let it go. You felt so bad about it that you went over it and over it. Crying may have relieved some of the intense feelings of shame and perhaps anger that went with thinking about what happened. If it had stopped there, it would have been an unfortunate reaction to a very usual piece of mischief that kids do.

But being as concerned as you are with right and wrong, any time since then that you have felt accused or reprimanded, it has reminded you of that first time when you were not only wrong but humiliated for it. Your unconscious self then also remembered that crying gave you some relief.

I suspect the “lesson” generalized and you started to cry any time you needed relief from stress. Stress just comes with being a teen so there was probably reason to look for some relief every day. But then you end up feeling bad that you feel bad. That must feel terrible!

Unfortunately, your reaction has become a kind of bad habit. Having practiced it for years, feeling sick or crying is an automatic response to stress.

You need some new ways to handle stress and shame. Maybe you can figure it out yourself but you would probably benefit from seeing a therapist who could give you some new tools and help you practice them. I hope you will consider seeing a licensed therapist to help you with this so you can go forward into adult life with less distressing ways for relieving anxieties and stress.

I wish you well

Dr. Marie

Why Do I Have Abusive Thoughts? Hello Jackal, thank you for asking at HealthReplies.com.



  

Injury in sports or self-defense training is quite often experienced because in these activities quite a lot of things are at high risk of causing injury to certain body parts especially if not done in the right way and there is no good security during the activities carried out.



  

Even though there are no visible signs of injury in the area you are complaining about (such as bruising, swelling, or redness), it is still advisable to check the complaint further to the doctor to determine whether there is a serious injury that occurred to you due to the complaint indeed it can be caused by a broken rib / crack or an injury to the chest muscles.



  

After ascertaining what condition you are experiencing, then you can also determine what therapy should be given based on these conditions.



  

Meanwhile, if the complaint is felt to be very disturbing, you can try taking pain relievers such as paracetamol according to the dosage on the package or applying topical pain reliever to the painful area, until there is further advice from the doctor. It is not advisable to massage the painful area until there are other suggestions from the doctor who examined you.



  

I hope this helps. he might of been feeling it... now is saying it because of action taken by you to care for him. just regular shit as far as i can tell. the real question is if you have a problem with it/do you not want to deal with it/is that not what you wanted/etc. it seems he has taken desperate measures because he needs his space. personally, i like to resolve issues as soon as possible. commuinication is so important to make a relationship work. i would just accept he wants his space, he obviously needs time to sort his head out before dealing with speaking to you. when he does decide to talk to you , try to explain to him that if he wants the relationship to work, you both need to commuincate to resolve any issues, rather than ignoring it for days on end.space distances two people, it doesn't bring them closer together. he can't shut you out everytime you both have an argument .relationships are measured by the bad times, not the good. so you both need to become stronger together when faced with any adversities. Of course it's a felony. Have your friend hire a defense attorney.