bestfriend turned enemy?
my best friend of 10 years and i recently stopped being friends. i noticed i would message her and she would ignore my messages and go post on social media and respond to other people. i asked if everything is okay and she told me she needed a “mental health break” i told her i completely understand and after i said that she sent me 3 paragraph messages telling me i’ve been nothing but negative to her this whole year? i’m the same person since i moved out of state and i play victim? (we would often vent to each other) she even brought up when we were 14/15 how i was “mean” when it came to the relationship advice i would give ( mind you we are both in our late twenties and i told her i never been in a relationship at that time to speak so sorry if i sounded harsh) i then brought up how she would say negative comments whenever we hung around other ppl and called me names i ignored because i thought she was joking. she then tells me i’m bringing up the past?! after she was the one who brought it up? & i also spoke to her about relationships and she’s saying i deserve the mistreatment because she went through the same?? who says this to their friend? she then said i have typical (my name behavior) ?? like? her birthday is coming up and i’m not sure if i should say anything? it’s been a month since we spoken. maybe we outgrew each other? i’ve always sensed some jealously but i figured that’s what we all go through as far as insecurities and i’ve always been there for her...
your former friend is a toxic hypocrite. stay away from her. we all have our drama queen moments, but she's out of control at this point. she's not some 17 or 18 year old kid, she's a grown woman. if she feels that you were mistreating her in the past, she has a right to be upset, but she should talk to you about it in a mature and calm manner, not attack you about it now. but really, she's being hypocritical about mistreatment, when she's been the one embarrassing you in front of other people. i recommend that you continue to go on a separate course. you haven't spoken in a month, it seems that she's moving on with her life, move on with yours. every friendship has struggles, but for her to constantly attack you at this age is just dumb. you don't need that kind of stress. best of luck to you 😊
A. It is not uncommon for people to have had a few intimate relationships by their late 20s. My guess is that you being a virgin and her having had experience in relationships is at the root of your concern. It is hard to imagine something we have not experienced.

That having been said it is important to note that at this stage of life it is unlikely that you will meet anyone that has not had a past romantic relationship. I would focus on the here and now you have with her. Here is what you have said:

1. She has stopped contact with others. This is a very good sign of her intention and commitment.
2. She has described her relationships in a way that makes sense – meaning that she was not in love and maintained them because she wanted options.
3. Her relationship with you has changed her thoughts and feelings about herself and what she wants.

Taken together this would seem to be a good indication of her commitment and willingness to be a partner with you. Your relationship is new, and this will mean that as you grow together these concerns are likely to take a back seat. Meditation may be an excellent way for you to modulate your feelings and angst about the situation. Over time her commitment to you will dispel these concerns.

Wishing you patience and peace,  
 *Dr. Dan*  
 [*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)

Issue with Girlfriend’s Past well this happened to me (a bit younger at first and then a five year break before continuing) and it's made me distrusting of people, especially boys or people i date. it made me feel like they saw me as easy, and even now i feel like i am. i'm mostly normal (with some side effects from the memories) but i really have problems with people flirting and giving me compliments yeah that happened time ago, with a girl from europe, we "met" online we had the "greatest" connection, it felt like we knew each other from years before, but there was something we didn't talk and is "well this is great but you are in the other part of the world now," of course money , distance, even the fact we were completely strangers, we didn't talk never, (for months) where things were going, long story short, she got into another more time consuming job, things begin to get cold quickly, then one day she just didn't reply anymore, 2nd experience, i met her online, she visited me couple of times while been here , yeah she was from europe too, (for distance reference purpose ) we had great time , but things were like this is great we just have a very different life each one on their own country, we are incredible far to make things work at least for now, we still keep in contact for years as very good friends, good luck probably you both make it and find the way things work "faster" : ) you are free to message me anytime. it is an offer but i cannot be your friend because i have realized long time back that i am not meant for friendships.you will surely get help and support though. i will try my best. i hear you and feel so sorry for you that it's not working out as you want... i hear you actually you're like a dear friend of mine...but i can't help but point out a few points. seriously, listen up i'm not trying to judge you or anything.. belive me. but you know it's so uncool of you to say that you've been used, since you both agreed to have sex, come on.. we're grown ups not underage girls.. how the heck the 'being used' part come from?(actually that kind of attitude might have freaked him out i think..) and also i don't really see what he has done wrong so far if it was clear you two were just friends with benefits. i mean seriously, he's not your boyfriend, and you're acting like as if he is.. but you know.. i completely understand that you're having hard time with your ex. you liked him so sweet and listened to you.. trying to understand what you're going throw.. your bf's hurting you, it's because i see girls who suffer from bad relationship and honestly? if he's no good for you and he's hurting you and if another guy help you get out of that deep hell, go for it(im selfish i know, sorry). but you aren't happy, because you found a wrong guy(not that he's wrong, it's just he is not a guy who can give you what you need and want) that made it clear that it was just sex, and you two are kinda friends(well you claim) which is fine. but you want him to be there for you, and be only with you no other girls. don't you see? why he's leaving you?how to change his mind.. honestly? after all these? that you freaked him out and you broke the rule of friends with benefits which is called 'feelings' with it's best friend 'jealousy', you were cheating on your boyfriend, and you said all your relationship with other guy? i don't see any possibilities(girls! don't you think it's a little bit unfair that to say i wanna be who i am , asking guys to be some kind of knights? ... )i hope you find another new sencere sweet boyfriend, i really do. but right now.. i really hate to say it but you and him? i don't think it's gonna happen. i'm so sorry... i think i haven't been any helpful but all mean words.. but i have dear friend who is going throw what you're going through...(at least it seems like to me..). and i really really hope you the best... really... a big hug.. find a guy who can give you want you want.. who can love you.. really..you be the dreamy girl... not despressed lonely girl... then right guy will come out..! so, that happened in the boarding school. 1.5 years ago we played truth and dare. i always choose truth but there was one time i didn't. however, i had to write the last person i texted (expect a family member) that i have a crush on them. i did. and it was one of the worst things i've ever experienced. we were really good. she was my (internet) friend. the thing is that she had a crush on me and i didn't know it. i mean she was flirting a few times before but i didn't get it. seriously. i was so insecure and didn't want to write it. but i really expected that she will friendzone me lol and then i wanted to explain it. and nope, it was the contrary. we don't talk anymore. never keep throwing the past in someone's face. That's like slapping someone in the face with every little mistake they are trying to still heal from day to day. that's abusive. probably why she held a lot of resentment seeking out comfort from another man.   
another thing is. the on and off shananagens is due to lack of trust and lots of selfishness.   
if you're ever in that position again. learn from it.. always bring someone up no matter what mistakes they're making. 2 wrongs don't make a right. always be the better Samaritan.  
children will always be a sticky situation. always make good choices that suite what you want and what you're mentally, physically and financially mature enough to handle.   
May the force be with you!!! she needs to be built up...why are people making her feel worse? this should be a place she can feel like she can vent and share her fears without judgment. who are we to make her feel worse....please think about this before you post. a few years ago i had a 21 year old friends with benefits and she would drink my piss sometimes i once had an abhorrent admirer, and he eventually sexually assaulted me. i don't even know how many times i told him prior to that that i wasn't interested, but it was definitely more than about ten times. he came over one night and asked me to let him in my apartment just to talk and to say goodbye. i thought (stupidly) that he was genuine, since that's all i wanted, and he knew it -- the goodbye part. people are unpredictable and can be dangerous. my advice is to just ignore, ignore, ignore. block if you need to, and don't give in to anything, even if you're "just trying to be nice" or "you don't want to hurt the person". and those people who are being harassed shouldn't tell someone to leave them alone, only to call *them* the next day - even just to check up on them and see if they're okay. no. just ignore them. don't send mixed messages, and there is no need to lose control over it. just ignore, block, and document it if it persists - because you never know if you have to make it a police issue. eventually people tire of not being recognized as that's all these types of people want -- attention. if they don't get it from one person, they eventually move on to someone else to get what they need.