is this normal behaviour?
this woman in her 30s messages people on a forum about random other forum users telling us that they have low self esteem, and how she goes far back into their post history (thousands of posts) to analyse whether they have low self esteem.

is this normal behaviour? why does she care so much if a stranger online has low self esteem? and why does she message other people to say that a stranger on the forum has low self esteem as if we care?
she obviously has nothing better to do.
she has low self worth.
i seem to be extremely low in person. actually, some people seem to think something is wrong with me since i'm so chill and laid back. that said, i do misbehave more on here but i'm not trying to win any friends on this site. i've flirted with it before. i didn't get much interest. just women that i'm, to be politically uncorrect, way out of their league, at least in terms of the logistics of dating. all the women that i was interested in and messaged, didn't respond. actually what i'd say was going on is this. firstly you need to be aware of the psychology of it, and how peoples' minds work. ie, if you have forlorn selfies, one or two of you pondering the nature of existence in your bedroom, you're not going to get many bites from women. women can get away with being aloof and beautiful like that. men typically have to portray a more social and outgoing image, least that's what i imagine. if you can project the image of social power, then you're going to attract more of it. and i'm sort of eluding to the tragedy of dating websites and dating in general, and their 'unnaturalness'. it's all very calculated, and hardly dreamy romantic if one is check-boxing all the time. there's a lot of tragic people on there, trying to find a means to desperately get away from their tragedy and find that validation or quick thrill they are seeking. like all things, it's a question of intent. what are you true motivations. if one goes there, with innocent eyes, wholeheartedly, and is not there to deceive any body, or escape from anything, then of course, it's just another medium to meet people. the whole hearted thing is important. actually uploading a decent set of photos, putting some thought into your profile, etc. what you put in, you get out, it's not just a case of being there. the same applies to going to social gatherings in general. go to the same event, and make the effort to talk to people and be open, and one will get dramatically different results. also, i think on the positive, it can expand the potentiality of the people you can meet manifold. there's lots of interesting people out there. i really think it's like social media in general. it just fans, positive or negative, what you are already doing. of course, one could make a deeper argument about conscious control in the first place. we think we have conscious control of the happenings around us, but really, conscious 'control' is the mind's means of deluding us into thinking that we're not working to the subconscious forces within us. the truth about my 'rejections' were, i wasn't really into it, i was just playing... sort of, if you're feeling me, to make this more 'down' and gag friendly. she needs to be built up...why are people making her feel worse? this should be a place she can feel like she can vent and share her fears without judgment. who are we to make her feel worse....please think about this before you post. it could be your body language and demeanor that they dont like. there are things we do that are subconcious that others notice but we dont ourselves. if people judge that hard though, are they really worth being around and getting to know? you don't text someone everyday unless you're like bffl. :p if you were asking her out on a date, then say yes you were asking her out on a date. then maybe she'll give you an answer.she's a single mom right? yeah, you bet she's busy... how old are her children? it would be hard for her to go on a date with you depending on how young they are and if she has someone to look after them while she's gone. A. It’s difficult to assess the seriousness of this on the basis of only a letter so let me just share a couple of thoughts.

People by nature tend to fall somewhere on a scale from introvert to extrovert. It may be that at least part of this is that you are on the introvert end of the scale. There is nothing wrong with that! But, the larger culture celebrates extroverts. In high school, the general idea is that everyone is supposed to be outgoing and popular. Of course, not everyone can be. Not everyone wants to be. So let’s at least assume that part of what goes on is that you have a more restrained approach to life. One thing that supports this is that you do have a couple of close friends and that seems to be enough for you.

As for being out with others: I wonder if you have developed the skills you need to be comfortable out in the social world. Introverts can and do learn how to manage social situations enough so that they can be successful in their careers and can find loving relationships. Notice that I said “skills”. Skills are behaviors you can learn (like how to make small talk, how to be an active listener, how to be a good communicator, etc.). As you get more practiced in these skills, you will be more comfortable being with people for longer periods of time. But you will still need your alone time to “recover” from a lot of social interaction.

The line in your letter that does worry me is your statement that you can spend hours holed up in your room and in bed. Yes, you may need time to recharge your social batteries but it would do a lot more for your self-esteem if you would use that time to pursue an interest or to do something to make the world a better place. Think about ways to support a cause or candidate or to educate yourself about something you are genuinely interested in. You will feel better about yourself than if you just hang out wondering if there is something wrong with you. An important bonus is that it will give you more to talk about when you are with people.

I hope this is helpful. I wish you well.  
 Dr. Marie

I Want or Need to Be Alone "normal" for a mentally healthy person, no. "normal" for someone with depression, absolutely. i have been in your boyfriends shoes. i have sabotaged countless relationships because of my depression and anxieties. it's like when i need people the most i push them away because i know i'm going to let them down. when i slip back into my depression i am no use to other people. i can't be there for them, i can't go out, i can barely even hold a conversation. it sound to me like he is trying to protect you. he probably doesn't realize he may actually be hurting you and himself with what he is doing. he's not addicted to her body, she most likely has narcissistic personality disorder. which means that she is systematically destroying his sense of self in order for her to keep control. i have heard more than one person who knows how to judge these things guess that he will commit suicide in the next few years. which to my eyes is very very sad he might of been feeling it... now is saying it because of action taken by you to care for him. just regular shit as far as i can tell. the real question is if you have a problem with it/do you not want to deal with it/is that not what you wanted/etc. i feel like there is a developing interest happening on her part. in my opinion. you could try talking about romantic relationships in general and see if the conversation goes anywhere. you could also try getting closer to her, maybe flirt a tiny bit and see where she's at. sorry if this doesn't help :(