what do you think of guys who try to rush towards marriage?
i've been in several relationships with men over 30 who wanted to rush our relationship towards marriage. i became his girlfriend on second date, then saw his mom within 2 months. when my feelings were only beginning, he would tell me that he's madly in love already. we are only 3-4 months into dating and i fear he's gonna propose in not too soon. he keeps saying that he's gonna move me out of my parents place so i can live with him. asking if i would still live in the state within the next 5 yearsits just such a huge turn off and it's frightening
sounds like my friend rushing to build a family a keep telling him to relax it takes a life time to build a family rushing in does not help and you end up with a bad relationship but he still does not learn i just had a real heart to heart explaining this to him a hope i got across. with your situation you will find that more with older guys who are already at the point of settling down you will see that more with older people who are in a stable job have a home and are basically preparing to start a family or have already had a family you see this with guys that have kids and or never grew up in a complete family themselves so are rushing to create one for themselves as it's what they missed out on as a child
wow marlboro! yikes! ouch! even though i&#39;ve been working with queer issues for many years i am still struck by what you&#39;ve told us. it is a very sad reflection on our society, where same-sex marriage is legal, that parents can throw gay youth out of their homes. ignorance and prejudice run very deep.<br><br>what are your ages?<br> nothing set in stone. someone is marriage material if i have been in a relationship with them for a long time, don't foresee any chronic problems, and would be much more devastated by the prospect of ever losing them than i would by cutting off my options with other women.

things like kindness, humor, and beauty are definitely part of it, but that has more to do with getting my attention in the first place than it does convincing me to stay. it has more to do with comfort and trust - if i can't trust someone, or if we get angry with each other often, or if i feel tense rather than comfortable coming home to her, then i'm not going to stick around long enough to consider the option.

people who make lists of "dealbreakers," physical attributes, and other such things are usually just trying to advertise that they have standards, and haven't actually encountered someone who's marriage material before. marriage material is just an exceptional person with whom you're very, very compatible and attached. ok..first of all: love is a word too big to be brought into this discussion. and second: although u found this question to be awkward, once u stay and think for a minute it isn't like that at all. whether u like it or not, sex is part of our life, and it keeps getting more and more important as time goes by. it is true, a few time ago it was kinda ta-bu subject, but now the "sex topic" is as common as...let's say...listening to music! so in an era that promotes and gives a great importance to sex questions like "do girls fantasize about having sex wen they see a hot guy?" are not out of order. on the other hand, it is obvious that he is more experienced in this subject than u are. as a prove we have your "cry for help" here. remember that: a guy will almost never give up an opportunity to have sex! but this doesn't mean your guy is only interested in having sex with you. in this case maybe he would have asked u out already. my advice is for you not to waste any more time by limiting yourself to only simple conversations with him. this could have 2 implications:
1. you fall for him because his "sweet talks" and maybe this is what he is waiting for.
2. this potential relationship evolves into a simple friendship relation, which would be not so good, since you clearly have feelings for him.
so ask him out, or at least make him ask u out! good luck! fantasies are one thing, and reality another. no form of acting out such a fantasy would benefit anyone, and it would be highly likely to end up as hurtful and to severely damage your relationship. good advice all round, and poppie&#39;s ideas might be worth trying. if you had a fantasy involving high physical danger to him, or something like you leading him, naked, through the supermarket with a rope round his neck, would he be so eager to act it out for you, and accept the ridicule that would abound on him ? consider marriage counselling to work on what leads him, not to the fantasies, but to want to act out something so inevitably destructive to your marriage A. If you are going to marry your fiancé, you will have to tolerate his children and ex-wife. It is unfair and unrealistic to ask him to cut ties with his children no matter how dysfunctional they or his ex-wife may be. He is their father and will likely have some involvement with them for the rest of his life.

You have a decision to make. If you decide to marry him, then accept that his family will be part of your life. If you don’t wish to be involved with his family, then strongly reconsider your decision to get married.

Every decision has consequences. Objectivity and clarity are of paramount importance when making major life decisions. It might be helpful to discuss this decision with a therapist. A therapist could assist you in thinking through what your life would be like with or without him and by extension with or without his family. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Fiancé Kid Issues When He Doesn’t See Kids sounds to me like your husband already chose you over them (which is why the two of you are still together and have a family), so why would he not do the same thing now? if he is considering going, then i would definitely remind him of the agreement that the two of you made. i know that it seems harsh, but a deal is a deal. how would he feel if the situations were reversed? my guess is that he'd have the same response as you are having now.

if his daughter wanted to see him, then she could have done it before now; since she hasn't, it seems to me like this is a convenient way to get some money out of him (while driving a further wedge between the two of you). also, it is not up to him to contribute to the wedding - in my mind, if a couple wants to get married, then it should be done on their own dime (and to hell with tradition). what? you have a new girlfriend but wish to marry your ex? i think you need to be alone for a bit and sort your head out. You know this question could be answered either way. "Yes, he might be", or "no he really cares". Let's assume he likes talking with you and seeing you at the visitation. He likes that you are showing him attention. There is a chance that this relationship can grow beyond where it would have if he was out. Maybe you get to know each other better and he becomes more into you. Life is too short, you have to let this play out.


I'm sure you have great instincts (your inner feeling already knows), you have to trust yourself enough to make the right decision. Give it some time, try not to be too hard on yourself. He might be a rascal and a dirty dog too, but I vote for giving it a try and see how it plays out. You are in control of this relationship and every inmate knows this fact. Since the inmate loses control of what goes on in the outside world and he will often try to keep that control over the phone or letters. Just trust yourself and what you see and feel. A.  I think your analysis of the situation is correct. Your husband’s fears about not being able to perform are bigger than his concern for his 21 year marriage. Imagine how big those fears must be! The doctors who were trying to help weren’t helpful in that they treated the physical problem without taking into account the emotional message of their interventions. I wish they had talked to him about how normal it is for a man who is under lots of pressure to have trouble performing. I wish they had included you in the discussions.


You probably can’t help him understand that he is running away. At this point, he’s had 10 years of believing that whatever is wrong can’t be fixed. For that reason, I think it would be more helpful for you to start going to a therapist yourself — not because I think you are the patient here but because your relationship is in trouble. When one member of a couple has a problem, the couple has a problem. When one member of a couple starts to go to [therapy](https://psychcentral.com/psychotherapy/) and starts learning new ways to manage stress, it shows. Often that makes the other member of the couple willing to give it a try. Work with a therapist who can hear your whole story and who can give you suggestions about how to approach your husband in new ways. 



You’ve done what you can on your own. Your husband is a lucky man indeed to have a wife who is as understanding and as willing to help as you are. But both you and your husband are missing out on the intimacy that is a special part of a long marriage. For that reason, I encourage you to make an appointment and get started with therapy. 


I wish you well.  

Dr. Marie


Work as Avoidance Technique yes, unemployment puts a strain on any individual and any relationship. <br><br>however, i don&#39;t see how i can recommend taking up paid sex as a solution for problems, though i can understand how you might find the idea tempting in more ways than one. what does your husband think of the idea ? he could hardly fail to be curious about where the new money was coming from. otherwise, how could you explain it to him ? <br><br>i agree with maria. <br>