my elderly mom is lonely, but refuses outside help or a day center. she only wants me. need advice, please.
she might be depressed. judicious low dose treatment might help her.... and you. see a geriatrician.
I'm so sorry. This is hard to accept. But sometimes people get to the point that they don't want to socialize. My mother - who was once very social - simply arrived at a point where she only wanted those close to her or the nursing home staff around. She was in a lot of pain which I think was much of it.   
  
If your mother was once social, then you could ask the doctor to experiment with her medications. There may be other options.  
  
However, sometimes we have to accept that these diseases take their course and we can only do so much. Forcing what the person obviously doesn't want isn't helpful.  
  
Offering suggestions - yes - so continue to do that. I'm certain that the AL staff does the same. But you can't make it happen if it's not going to happen. Offer all of the support that you can.  
Take care of yourself, too.  
Carol A.  I’m sorry that this is happening to you. I have worked with many families who have faced a similar situation. Your predicament is fairly common. As you noted, the law prohibits forcing someone into treatment unless a case can be made that they are a danger to themselves or to others. Imminent danger standards, make it very difficult for many people to receive help until something happens.


I would recommend becoming educated about your potential options. Start by googling “Georgia and involuntary commitment laws.” You should be able to find good information about civil commitment options in your state. According to my research, for inpatient treatment, an individual would have to meet the following criteria:


1. pose an imminent danger to self/others, evidenced by recent overt acts or expressed threats of violence OR are
2. unable to care for their own physical health and safety so as to create an imminently life endangering crisis and in need of involuntary treatment.



For outpatient treatment, a person must meet the following criteria:


1. based on treatment history or current mental status, requires outpatient treatment in order to avoid imminently becoming an impatient AND
2. is unable to voluntary seek or comply with outpatient treatment.


You might try contacting your local mental health crisis team. They may be willing to come to the home, evaluate your mother’s condition and assist her in obtaining treatment.


You should also explore guardianship laws in your state. If possible, consult a guardianship attorney to determine if anything can be done to assist your mother. At 71, it’s possible that she’s experiencing a mix of [mania](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/manic-episode/) and potentially dementia. Guardianship may be an option.


I would also recommend consulting the local National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) groups in your state. Here is a [link](https://namiga.org/) to the NAMI organization for your state. NAMI offers free support groups in communities across the country for individuals caring for loved ones with serious mental illness. They can help you to navigate the mental health system. Contact them for support and assistance.


I hope these ideas assist you in helping your mother. Please write again if you have additional questions.


Dr. Kristina Randle



How Do We Get My [Bipolar](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/) Mania Mom to Go Get Help? I feel not. Let her go in peace forcing food is not peace. This is your Mothers Journey not yours. She's 87 years old . What life really lies ahead for her other than more suffering. Does she not have a living will. I would never want to be force fed nor my Daddy (who himself was a Doctor) or My Husband also a Doctor. This is just my opinion. If you must then give her Ensure. Mix the Ensure with ice cream . Without it nobody would drink its. its awful. My Mummy takes it but we Doctor it up and she thinks its a milk shake just for her. Now that she's in a group home , we still make it for her there and she loves it. But she would not drink it just plain right from the can. Good Luck on whatever your path shall be. But remember 87 is a nice Life . Why let her suffer , when need not be. The answer can be complex depending on what your grandmother is willing to do/accept. Does your grand mother have Power of Attorney for his medical care and finances???? Is your grandmother willing to put her health and marriage first?? If not, it gets very complicated.  
  
1)The Area Agency on Aging is in every county in the USA. She can contact them to come out to evaluate your great grand father for his needs. They offer help with various situations. It is based on income level.  
  
2)Having a Power of Attorney (POA) is a necessity to make legal decisions for another persons medical/finance.  
  
3) If your grandmother does not have a POA and your great-grandfather refuses to get one, there is only one way that I know about to help your grandmother, but only if she is willing to be very strong against her father.'  
  
She can take her father to the ER for medical issue. Then she would have to be very strong to say, "I cannot take care of him." What happens, is the state steps in and he would be placed in a facility if it is determined he cannot take care of himself. Many of had to do this, it sounds drastic, but sometimes it is the only solution when the caregiver is having their own health issues to take care of. The hospital will pressure your grandmother so she will have to stand her ground.   
  
Maybe someone else will have more to offer you than I do. Good luck, and I hope something can be done. she obviously has nothing better to do.
she has low self worth. I would suggest looking for an assisted living or Memory Care program. Sounds like he needs to have a Power of Attorney assigned for finance and also one for health care. Has anyone in the family broached these topics with your father? Unfortunately, you are now in the position of needing to be more proactive in caring for your father, much like your parents did for you when you were a child unable to make decisions for yourself. It sounds like it is time for a family meeting with your siblings, if you have any, or contacting your local Department on Aging to assist you with the activities that need to be done to adequately care for your elderly father. my own mom was a single mom, and i worshiped the ground that she walked on- i still do. there is surely no reason at all why a friend of your mom&#39;s, who is not a friend of yours, should visit you or take any particular interest in your baby. simply talk calmly to your mom, and explain that while you tolerated this woman at the shower and wedding, you don&#39;t like the woman and do not want her to visit you. your mother ought to udnerstand this. r3emind her that this is your house, your home and your baby, and your privacy must be respected rather than the idle curiosity of this other woman. that sort of person pushes up the social tree exactly because they are insensitive and never take hints if you have to ask, your too old i normally keep it in until it is completely flacit and wants to fall out on its own. can't speak for anyone else.