i (still) don't want this baby
before i start i know that some people cant have babies despite trying and all. i know some people will think badly of me. dont care. 25wks pregnant. don't want this baby. have 2 kids (9&5) and have had numerous (5) miscarriages. dh and i planned this baby, thinking it was what i wanted. could practically hear my clock ticking. at about 15 weeks realized i really truly don't want it. i know this is mean but i don't even want the two i already have. dh won't allow for adoption and does not listen when i tell him how i'm feeling, says its hormones. don't tell me i should talk to someone, in school and work and have 2 kids that i never can have a break from (dh works 2 jobs and is never home when i am to avoid babysitter need) and i am drowning. i have no time to shower, let alone see a counselor. last time i did that they sent me to cpep (mental health) when i stupidly answered honestly that i self injure (i do it b/c i cope with physical pain better than emotional. not to take my life).
she needs to be built up...why are people making her feel worse? this should be a place she can feel like she can vent and share her fears without judgment. who are we to make her feel worse....please think about this before you post.
part of becoming an adult and having a family of your own is learning how to manage relationships with other people... like your own parents. it can be devastating to have a parent with mental illness, i do understand, my dad lost his battle with mental illness several years ago. however, when you are responsible for a child of your own, you've got to be able to function no matter what else is happening around you. part of that is giving yourself time and space to grieve and to feel what you are feeling rather than trying to stuff it down. find someone to talk to that you can let those tears go with, a counselor... or friend... your husband... even calling a warmline if necessary. the baby will be fine. that sounds rough, i am sorry you aren't feeling well. my advice is just go to a different hospital to get a different view on your situation. please don't hold off on it, this problem really needs to be taken care of. some of mine do and some don't. i quit trying to explain to ppl who have no idea what it's all about. some will never truly understand this illness anyhow. hugs. take care 🌺 but your pregnancy needs monitered very carefully and be prepared if an incompatibility shows itself. see more... sounds like my friend rushing to build a family a keep telling him to relax it takes a life time to build a family rushing in does not help and you end up with a bad relationship but he still does not learn i just had a real heart to heart explaining this to him a hope i got across. with your situation you will find that more with older guys who are already at the point of settling down you will see that more with older people who are in a stable job have a home and are basically preparing to start a family or have already had a family you see this with guys that have kids and or never grew up in a complete family themselves so are rushing to create one for themselves as it's what they missed out on as a child don’t feel guilty. i think a lot of people feel this way at some point after having kids, but no one wants to be honest or talk about it. is it not having time that is making you depressed? or is it the loss of freedom? i am a stay at home mom to a 2 1/2 year old and went through a lot of the same things you’re describing. i can tell you that it gets easier to find time as baby’s sleep gets more predictable. past that, we wound up “splitting” most weekends. i sleep in on saturday morning, and my husband sleeps in on sunday. after i wake up on saturday, he usually goes to play golf, and i go to the movies or brunch or something on sunday. i wish i could give you a magic answer, but you just have to play around with your time and see what works best for you. the worst thing you can do is let yourself get into a rut. try to talk to your wife openly and honestly about what you’re feeling. i breastfed all 3 of my sons, but the longest i nursed before weaning was just shy of when he was 20months old. that same boy is now 4.5 and i couldn’t imagine still nursing him at that age.... he’s a grown child by this point and speaks in full sentences and comprehends so much. the fact her daughter calls it “milky time” and is almost in kindergarten and the mom loves it is odd to me as well & a bit much to me, as this isn’t allowing her daughter to fully grow if she’s keeping her in this infantile stage. 🤷🏻‍♀️ nursing that long is obviously her choice, but i’m with you on this one. as a child, my mom divorced. it was horrible, the divorce put us poverty. the man she divorced was a good man. he paid more child support than he had to by law. (i wasn't his biological son)i don't blame my mom as she was mentally wired differently than he.they were both 20 when they married,, long story. This is the great conundrum. Should I stay or should I go. Ultimately only your heart can answer this. But I would consider balancing on a two sided scale the weight of a casual fuck and a baby 👶 and then the weight of your family broken up divorce and spending the rest of your time seeing your kids half the time or less and likely being raised by another step dad. I'm not suggesting you choose one or the other. I'm merely suggesting you weigh in the reality of both sides and what they mean in the long run. I feel for you because I've been there and know it's very very hard. You will know what you must do but take a little time to think before making rash decisions.   
I wish you the best. And hope whatever happens you will be happier for those decisions you make. 😔 I'm so sorry. This is hard to accept. But sometimes people get to the point that they don't want to socialize. My mother - who was once very social - simply arrived at a point where she only wanted those close to her or the nursing home staff around. She was in a lot of pain which I think was much of it.   
  
If your mother was once social, then you could ask the doctor to experiment with her medications. There may be other options.  
  
However, sometimes we have to accept that these diseases take their course and we can only do so much. Forcing what the person obviously doesn't want isn't helpful.  
  
Offering suggestions - yes - so continue to do that. I'm certain that the AL staff does the same. But you can't make it happen if it's not going to happen. Offer all of the support that you can.  
Take care of yourself, too.  
Carol