how do you know if you have hurt someone's feelings either intentionally or unintentionally?
lets say when you avoid and ignore someone you do not wish to speak to. how would you know if their feelings were hurt?
you can ask others or if you see them, just look at their facial expressions and other body language.  i avoided and ignored a jerk at the gym and the last time i saw him, he didn't even acknowledge me (fortunately).  so i know i either hurt his feelings or made him mad.
Well, I can sit here and tell you the things that I'm pretty sure you are well aware of like; hang out with friends, join new things, exercise and etc. And yes, all of these things are a great way to get your mind off of someone, but forgetting them is something hard and I personally think, you can never do. Let's be honest, the relationship failed and it hurts because right now you miss them. And let may say, that is perfectly normal, it tells me that you cared but also you aren't numbing yourself to pain (Via drinking is an example of numbing). That you are a passionate person who still believes in love and who deserved happiness. The last thing I want you to do is to forget that person and pretend it doesn't hurt, even though you may seem fine, when you're alone, truly who are you fooling? The number one tip I have for you, is to ALLOW yourself to feel pain, allow yourself to cry and allow and yourself to grow. This is a great opportunity to rebuild yourself, to do it for only yourself and for you to reflect. So when those tears are gone, stand up on your own two feet and start doing the things you love, not to distract and forget, but rather reflect and build. The best way to "forget" someone is to realize that yes this pain hurts, that yes this pain is temporary and yes I will get through and improve whether spiritually, physically or emotionally. It's going to hurt like hell, but if you can see this pain with a clear mind, eventually you'll realize a life without them. Don't forget, smile and realize that there will be someone out there willing to show you love once more. Another thing that really helped me was that I started looking at it objectively, and I had this realization that I was more disappointed that he wasn't the one, rather than just flat out missing him. Wishing you the best of luck, never forget, smile because you've learned something and will continue to learn. it could be your body language and demeanor that they dont like. there are things we do that are subconcious that others notice but we dont ourselves. if people judge that hard though, are they really worth being around and getting to know? he might of been feeling it... now is saying it because of action taken by you to care for him. just regular shit as far as i can tell. the real question is if you have a problem with it/do you not want to deal with it/is that not what you wanted/etc. every individuals have diff way of coping , some people can't be happy without someone on their side or sometimes they are sad and wants to be around people. Some people are not strong enough emo and mentally to be alone so they want something to be busy about rather than thinking about the break up but some people just dont feel pain or just ignore the pain. i once had an abhorrent admirer, and he eventually sexually assaulted me. i don't even know how many times i told him prior to that that i wasn't interested, but it was definitely more than about ten times. he came over one night and asked me to let him in my apartment just to talk and to say goodbye. i thought (stupidly) that he was genuine, since that's all i wanted, and he knew it -- the goodbye part. people are unpredictable and can be dangerous. my advice is to just ignore, ignore, ignore. block if you need to, and don't give in to anything, even if you're "just trying to be nice" or "you don't want to hurt the person". and those people who are being harassed shouldn't tell someone to leave them alone, only to call *them* the next day - even just to check up on them and see if they're okay. no. just ignore them. don't send mixed messages, and there is no need to lose control over it. just ignore, block, and document it if it persists - because you never know if you have to make it a police issue. eventually people tire of not being recognized as that's all these types of people want -- attention. if they don't get it from one person, they eventually move on to someone else to get what they need. A.  I am deeply moved by your situation and understand the devastation following a desertion. Trying to understand his motivation and lack of caring re-injures you emotionally. No matter how many times you try to understand this story of betrayal it will leave you empty. This is a time to reclaim yourself and reconnect with those who love you — and whose care can fill you up. Building a network of social support takes some doing. Asking for help, expressing gratitude toward those who have extended their kindness, and immersing in the best self-care practices you can will help you feel better.


Thoughts determine the direction of our feelings and behavior. If you dwell on him you are turning your thoughts toward more difficult and unsatisfying feelings. Focusing on what you need and the loving people in your life will be better way to go.



Wishing you patience and peace,  

*Dr. Dan*  

[*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)


Struggling to Accept that He Doesn’t Care about Me well honestly there's honesty and then there's bluntness with lack of sensitivity to the point of being an ass. you are the latter. there's always a way to convey what you have to say and what you did was so wrong. you could have just said you weren't interested because you weren't attracted to her. he could be thinking the same thing, "obviously you don't miss me if she hasn't contacted me." i say , try. if his response isn't what you wanted then at least you know you tried. You know, it happens tp the most of us.  
  
it's like , the more you do one thing, the lesser and lesser you get interested in it.  
  
When he loved you, he thought that he could keep it up forever (Assuming that he ever did love you for you and not anything else).  
  
But that's what usually happens these days to couples that ends up divorcing each other.  
Either they cheat on each other or they get dissatisfaction from each other.  
  
People dont tend to stay together and work it out anymore. They just give up so easily.  
  
He may have loved you. But i dont think he does anymore. And if you plan to move forward with him, i dont think it'll be a good idea. Coz i think that when "not feeling it" moment comes into the lifes of a couple, thats when they go out and ends up CHEATING on each other. Look girl let me tell you something I ignore the problem and it eats me up inside. Maybe you're feeling the same way. So is ignoring really going to HELP YOU move on? Who cares about him... what will help you move on? Because your definitely not ready. This guy is a NARS and he CHEATED on you and LIED about it to your face and you still felt sorry for him and wasted your precious time by trying to make him feel better? Girl where's your dignity? Did this guy crush you? Did he make you feel worthless at some point? I've been cheated on and it makes you question who you are so please do yourself a favor and walk away with confidence, dignity and respect for yourself because if you can't forgive him or if you keep being Mother Teresa and forgiving him and caring about him when he clearly didn't mind treating you bad then go ahead and waste your time. These feelings aren't fun they can consume you make you doubt yourself crush you so please breakup with him in a way that gives you peace and know that there's always someone else out there that won't take you for granted now notice I didn't say won't let you down because for example I told my boyfriend that the only way I'll leave him is if he cheats or lies to me with our finances with real life problems not pity stuff we couples argue about so if he broke your trust if you clearly had the line drawn in something and he still MADE A CHOICE to go against you then this guy ain't worth it.