How does he really feel about me?



 i don't think my boyfriend loves me. We've been together for 5 years, and 2 weekends ago was my bday. I told him I was fine with dinner and some flowers, but he did nothing. I came by dressed up and he was playing games. He said he didn't expect me to come so early. He asked me what I wanted to do and I said whatever he planned for us is fine. Well he planned nothing and no gift. I talked to him last week and he said it's difficult for him to be romantic with me bc he doesn't "feel" it. I asked if he wasn't in love, he said he was. I asked if he wants us to break up, he said no. He said he just needs time. I'm like ok I'll give you time. I didn't talk to him for 3 days and he reached out to me and we got food and he said he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. I stayed over and slept at his place which is something I rarely do and he was really happy about it. I stayed over the next night and he seemed annoyed. Not talking, getting irritated with me easily. I didn't feel welcomed so I left and texted him the relationship isn't working out. He hasn't really responded. Not sure if it's because I'm blowing things out of proportion, but I really don't think he loves me like he says he does. He isn't cheating, it just seems like he's trying really hard to love me but it's not there and I just keep feeling like I deserve more and he can't give me what I want.
You know, it happens tp the most of us.  
  
it's like , the more you do one thing, the lesser and lesser you get interested in it.  
  
When he loved you, he thought that he could keep it up forever (Assuming that he ever did love you for you and not anything else).  
  
But that's what usually happens these days to couples that ends up divorcing each other.  
Either they cheat on each other or they get dissatisfaction from each other.  
  
People dont tend to stay together and work it out anymore. They just give up so easily.  
  
He may have loved you. But i dont think he does anymore. And if you plan to move forward with him, i dont think it'll be a good idea. Coz i think that when "not feeling it" moment comes into the lifes of a couple, thats when they go out and ends up CHEATING on each other.
A.  I am deeply moved by your situation and understand the devastation following a desertion. Trying to understand his motivation and lack of caring re-injures you emotionally. No matter how many times you try to understand this story of betrayal it will leave you empty. This is a time to reclaim yourself and reconnect with those who love you — and whose care can fill you up. Building a network of social support takes some doing. Asking for help, expressing gratitude toward those who have extended their kindness, and immersing in the best self-care practices you can will help you feel better.


Thoughts determine the direction of our feelings and behavior. If you dwell on him you are turning your thoughts toward more difficult and unsatisfying feelings. Focusing on what you need and the loving people in your life will be better way to go.



Wishing you patience and peace,  

*Dr. Dan*  

[*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)


Struggling to Accept that He Doesn’t Care about Me here's your best answer- just tell him your true feelings. he will appreciate you being honest with him. You know this question could be answered either way. "Yes, he might be", or "no he really cares". Let's assume he likes talking with you and seeing you at the visitation. He likes that you are showing him attention. There is a chance that this relationship can grow beyond where it would have if he was out. Maybe you get to know each other better and he becomes more into you. Life is too short, you have to let this play out.


I'm sure you have great instincts (your inner feeling already knows), you have to trust yourself enough to make the right decision. Give it some time, try not to be too hard on yourself. He might be a rascal and a dirty dog too, but I vote for giving it a try and see how it plays out. You are in control of this relationship and every inmate knows this fact. Since the inmate loses control of what goes on in the outside world and he will often try to keep that control over the phone or letters. Just trust yourself and what you see and feel. ok..first of all: love is a word too big to be brought into this discussion. and second: although u found this question to be awkward, once u stay and think for a minute it isn't like that at all. whether u like it or not, sex is part of our life, and it keeps getting more and more important as time goes by. it is true, a few time ago it was kinda ta-bu subject, but now the "sex topic" is as common as...let's say...listening to music! so in an era that promotes and gives a great importance to sex questions like "do girls fantasize about having sex wen they see a hot guy?" are not out of order. on the other hand, it is obvious that he is more experienced in this subject than u are. as a prove we have your "cry for help" here. remember that: a guy will almost never give up an opportunity to have sex! but this doesn't mean your guy is only interested in having sex with you. in this case maybe he would have asked u out already. my advice is for you not to waste any more time by limiting yourself to only simple conversations with him. this could have 2 implications:
1. you fall for him because his "sweet talks" and maybe this is what he is waiting for.
2. this potential relationship evolves into a simple friendship relation, which would be not so good, since you clearly have feelings for him.
so ask him out, or at least make him ask u out! good luck! no. im sorry. honestly i get how u feel. i wanted the same thing. but there is no way :( sorry... have you considered couple counseling? this would help to work on the problems that made you separate to begin with...it sounds like you both still love each other... and perhaps the separation has done the relationship some good, in making you both appreciate each other more... if you really want to know if its for real ask her to go to counseling with you... if shes serious about working on the relationship and getting back together.... she will definitely go! you both need to be more open about your feelings, and take the emotional risk if you want it to work out...best wishes!!!!!!!!! plz don't break your relationship... bcoz now u have more responsibilities than before... u have 2 maintain your relationship vth both your hubby and your kid.. treat your hubby also like your baby. give equal importance to both. do wt ever he likes and try to love him more than before. yeah, break up with her, so then she can find a guy better than you. dude, are you kidding me? that's how relationships are, theres going to be arguments and sometimes theres going to be insecurities, and if you're not smart enough to realize she just actually really cares, then you should break up with her so she has a chance with a guy that will. maybe you should ask him. maybe he doesn't know how to graciously receive a gift? some people have no clue.

i wouldn't take the gift back. i'd just move forward.