are some people meant to be alone?
i'm basically kicked out of my family due to things that have nothing to do with me. i have a very hard time with women. i'm 36 and just don't have any friends or anything. are some people meant to be alone?
some people have not been equipped with the coping or social skills to create and maintain healthy relationships. yet, one can develop social skills by accepting that although a group of people are related by blood, they are not automatically healthy or beneficial for all. 
one can create new, healthy relationships by reshaping their outlook, possibly with the help of therapy, and taking up new hobbies for adults....joining co-ed groups to meet both males and females and not only will this be fun, but this will provide the healthy socialization adults benefit from. some people are introverts, which psychology has adjusted to mean where u get ur energy from. like, an extrovert get energy and life from interacting with lots of people and feels uplifted and empowered by this, whereas introverts can actually be social as well, but prefer limitied amounts as too much interaction makes them feel drained. it does not mean the socially awkard kid who people have only say one word, two years ago, sitting in the basement with no friends.
A. It’s difficult to assess the seriousness of this on the basis of only a letter so let me just share a couple of thoughts.

People by nature tend to fall somewhere on a scale from introvert to extrovert. It may be that at least part of this is that you are on the introvert end of the scale. There is nothing wrong with that! But, the larger culture celebrates extroverts. In high school, the general idea is that everyone is supposed to be outgoing and popular. Of course, not everyone can be. Not everyone wants to be. So let’s at least assume that part of what goes on is that you have a more restrained approach to life. One thing that supports this is that you do have a couple of close friends and that seems to be enough for you.

As for being out with others: I wonder if you have developed the skills you need to be comfortable out in the social world. Introverts can and do learn how to manage social situations enough so that they can be successful in their careers and can find loving relationships. Notice that I said “skills”. Skills are behaviors you can learn (like how to make small talk, how to be an active listener, how to be a good communicator, etc.). As you get more practiced in these skills, you will be more comfortable being with people for longer periods of time. But you will still need your alone time to “recover” from a lot of social interaction.

The line in your letter that does worry me is your statement that you can spend hours holed up in your room and in bed. Yes, you may need time to recharge your social batteries but it would do a lot more for your self-esteem if you would use that time to pursue an interest or to do something to make the world a better place. Think about ways to support a cause or candidate or to educate yourself about something you are genuinely interested in. You will feel better about yourself than if you just hang out wondering if there is something wrong with you. An important bonus is that it will give you more to talk about when you are with people.

I hope this is helpful. I wish you well.  
 Dr. Marie

I Want or Need to Be Alone every individuals have diff way of coping , some people can't be happy without someone on their side or sometimes they are sad and wants to be around people. Some people are not strong enough emo and mentally to be alone so they want something to be busy about rather than thinking about the break up but some people just dont feel pain or just ignore the pain. i seem to be extremely low in person. actually, some people seem to think something is wrong with me since i'm so chill and laid back. that said, i do misbehave more on here but i'm not trying to win any friends on this site. I'm so sorry. This is hard to accept. But sometimes people get to the point that they don't want to socialize. My mother - who was once very social - simply arrived at a point where she only wanted those close to her or the nursing home staff around. She was in a lot of pain which I think was much of it.   
  
If your mother was once social, then you could ask the doctor to experiment with her medications. There may be other options.  
  
However, sometimes we have to accept that these diseases take their course and we can only do so much. Forcing what the person obviously doesn't want isn't helpful.  
  
Offering suggestions - yes - so continue to do that. I'm certain that the AL staff does the same. But you can't make it happen if it's not going to happen. Offer all of the support that you can.  
Take care of yourself, too.  
Carol sounds like my friend rushing to build a family a keep telling him to relax it takes a life time to build a family rushing in does not help and you end up with a bad relationship but he still does not learn i just had a real heart to heart explaining this to him a hope i got across. with your situation you will find that more with older guys who are already at the point of settling down you will see that more with older people who are in a stable job have a home and are basically preparing to start a family or have already had a family you see this with guys that have kids and or never grew up in a complete family themselves so are rushing to create one for themselves as it's what they missed out on as a child "normal" for a mentally healthy person, no. "normal" for someone with depression, absolutely. i have been in your boyfriends shoes. i have sabotaged countless relationships because of my depression and anxieties. it's like when i need people the most i push them away because i know i'm going to let them down. when i slip back into my depression i am no use to other people. i can't be there for them, i can't go out, i can barely even hold a conversation. it sound to me like he is trying to protect you. he probably doesn't realize he may actually be hurting you and himself with what he is doing. no they are not right. if you are happy with the choices that you choose to make then who are they to try to judge you for that? you're trying your best at least from what i'm hearing and seeing to live a godly lifestyle, and they want to tell you how you're making a mistake? how about all the mistakes that they more likely made? are they married with children? or are they hopping from one girl to another girl regardless if it's a relationship casual or not and they just want to see you and them just like them? ignore the naysayers, and stay away from people that are not benefiting your life. they just want to see you screwed up because they don't like the fact that you're doing what you got to do, and they're not really focusing on what they need to do. they don't need to accept the fact that you are living the life the way you know you need to live it. if they don't like it because it makes them feel like they're not doing something? well then that's their business.personally they just sound messed up, and i just want you to be miserable like they are. you already said that you are happy, at least i believe you're content with that. it's not perfect but you're still content right? that's all that matters. i'm a virgin i never dated, i've never been with anybody at all either. and i have no regrets. i have no regrets because after going through what i went through growing up, seeing how everybody else's relationships are, and you hear what you hear on this site even more, it really makes you wonder what is the best decision for you. the bible says that people will have troubles in this life. especially when they are married, or these days having sexual relationships. this is what people want, this is what they desire, so they get what they desire. it may not be what they claim they want, but they're forgetting that every thing is a choice, and every choice has its consequences. in the end people just want the benefits and not having to deal with what they got to go through. but i'm pretty sure you're mature enough to understand this already. so regardless to what you can't allow them to try to dictate what you choose to do in your life, and if you know they're going to be bad influences anyway then you're not doing yourself a big favor by listening to them. don't be discouraged by them. whenever it is that you decide to do regardless of what people say, especially when it comes down to dating or whatever, that's a choice that you personally have to make. nobody else can make that choice for you except you and god himself. okay? understand that. i believe you're going on the right path regarding to doing what is right. and i believe that god will cover and protect you. some of mine do and some don't. i quit trying to explain to ppl who have no idea what it's all about. some will never truly understand this illness anyhow. hugs. take care 🌺 what are you talking about religious people get mocked frequently and looked down upon by those who either believe differently or don't believe at all. this is why we shouldn't have religious people in power, they have a tendency to make it hard on the other religions. I prefer to ask girls out.  
  
In my opinion it feels worse rejecting girls then it does being rejected by them.  
  
Everytime I've rejected a girl I've felt horrible for ages afterward, especially because I know girls don't normally ask guys out so they're probably not as use too rejection