I am concerned about a resident at my dad's Nursing Home. What can I do?



My father was moved last week to a different Nursing home in a secured unit. My father is a separate issue as he has his own issues that could fill a book.   
My concern is this:   
Within the Memory locked unit, there is a woman named Sue. She is very thin and She has dementia. She seems like a very nice woman even if she walks around crying at times and the first time I saw her, she hugged me very tightly and the aide said, well Sue is a hugger. I said it was no problem.   
Sue keeps touching herself in her private area and making sounds like she is in pain there. One of the staff said that she has a prolapsed uterus and that medicaid will not pay for the surgery.   
I was a bit outraged as it appears that she is in a bit of pain and walks around like this all the time. This angered me so I "planted" a gripe at gripevine.com. This website is a nifty place that allows you to voice an issue and the site contacts the entity to inform them about the gripe and tries to get resolution to the degree that you indicate. So, I planted a grip for the Department of aging and disability in my town. I was not so much blaming them but blaming medicaid who I was told, refused to pay for this surgery. I wanted to see if Dept of aging and disability would look into the issue.   
Ok, so I went .to visit my Dad today. While waiting for a nurse, Sue came out of her room with only a short on and was throwing a blanket in the hallway. Through the glass doors I was able to see her from the back and my mouth dropped in horror. The situation that this woman is living in is horrific. Her vagina is so prolapsed that she looks like a man from the rear.   
I almost want to cry thinking about it. I told the aide that I was going to contact someone as I consider this abuse. The aide said that she had been trying to let the medical team know how bad it is but that no one can do anything for her. This is a terrible and abusive way to live. The caregiver said that the tip of the uterus is red and irritated. So is she has any incontinence, she immediately goes out of her mind.   
I need to contact someone but the problem here is not the nursing home as they are trying to take care of her the best way that they can. Apparently it just isn't on the medicaid formulary as something that they will cover. I have thought about trying to contact a Urologist to see if they might donate their services to take care of her. Anything to help this poor woman. I would love to report it to APS but then the nursing home would come under scrutiny and they are as frustrated as I am.   
Does anyone have any good suggestions? My heart is bleeding for this poor lady. She cannot ever sit down because of her condition. The only way she can deal with it is to stand or lie down. This to me is a serious quality of life issue. Please help me figure out what to do. I can go whatever route i need to. I could publicize it to the police or press if I thought it would help.
You are so kind to be this active due to the distress of a stranger. I'm touched by how much you care. I can also see why you are horrified!  
  
Maybe this woman is too far along with the prolapse, but I do know that there is something called a pessary that can generally be inserted to hold the organs in place. I'm surprised this wasn't done long ago for this woman. The nursing home maybe didn't have care of this woman until it was too late.   
  
You seem to be doing everything you can, and you're right in not wanting to get the nursing home in trouble since they aren't the problem. Contacting the urology department of your local hospital may yield some results. Perhaps there's a program for people who are in such dire situations. Please let us know what happens.   
Take care,  
Carol
that sounds rough, i am sorry you aren't feeling well. my advice is just go to a different hospital to get a different view on your situation. please don't hold off on it, this problem really needs to be taken care of. she might be depressed. judicious low dose treatment might help her.... and you. see a geriatrician. A.  You are right to be concerned. It sounds like your daughter has been increasingly isolating herself. Although successful in that she goes to school, her friendship circle is very limited for someone her age. Although it’s not unusual for people to talk through problems or to review their day with themselves in the privacy of the bathroom or their own room, your report that she may be punishing herself by screaming and slapping isn’t typical or okay.


Sometimes our kids can’t tell us what is troubling them so they consciously or unconsciously leave hints around so that we’ll find them. Kids sometimes “accidentally” leave a diary open where we’ll find it or “accidentally” leave a distressing email open on the family computer, for example. It’s their way of sending out a distress signal without having to quite take responsibility for doing so.



I’m guessing your daughter’s lengthy time in the bathroom is something like that. On some level she knows that you will be concerned about a two-hour stay in there.


It’s past time for you to respond to the signal. Find a therapist who specializes in young adults. Ask your doctor for a referral or click on the “Find Help” tab on the PsychCentral homepage. There may also be a behavioral health clinic at her college. Brief the therapist on the phone and ask for some guidance about how to get your daughter to go in. (Sometimes it’s helpful if a parent goes to part of the first session.) 


Then, in a loving way, let your daughter know how concerned you are. Tell her that you know that she is upset and that you want to help. Reassure her that she doesn’t deserve to be punished by herself or by anyone else – no matter what. Insist that she see the counselor. Tell her you are willing to go with her. Don’t argue. Don’t get mad. Stay in that loving, concerned place.


[Parenting](https://psychcentral.com/lib/category/parenting/) doesn’t end because a child is at the age to start leaving home. We all have to figure out when to let go and when to still pull the “parent card.” In this situation, your daughter is telling you without words that she needs you to be a mom. Please follow through. She sounds like she really needs help.


I wish you well.  

Dr. Marie


Daughter Talks to Herself A.  I’m sorry that this is happening to you. I have worked with many families who have faced a similar situation. Your predicament is fairly common. As you noted, the law prohibits forcing someone into treatment unless a case can be made that they are a danger to themselves or to others. Imminent danger standards, make it very difficult for many people to receive help until something happens.


I would recommend becoming educated about your potential options. Start by googling “Georgia and involuntary commitment laws.” You should be able to find good information about civil commitment options in your state. According to my research, for inpatient treatment, an individual would have to meet the following criteria:


1. pose an imminent danger to self/others, evidenced by recent overt acts or expressed threats of violence OR are
2. unable to care for their own physical health and safety so as to create an imminently life endangering crisis and in need of involuntary treatment.



For outpatient treatment, a person must meet the following criteria:


1. based on treatment history or current mental status, requires outpatient treatment in order to avoid imminently becoming an impatient AND
2. is unable to voluntary seek or comply with outpatient treatment.


You might try contacting your local mental health crisis team. They may be willing to come to the home, evaluate your mother’s condition and assist her in obtaining treatment.


You should also explore guardianship laws in your state. If possible, consult a guardianship attorney to determine if anything can be done to assist your mother. At 71, it’s possible that she’s experiencing a mix of [mania](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/manic-episode/) and potentially dementia. Guardianship may be an option.


I would also recommend consulting the local National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) groups in your state. Here is a [link](https://namiga.org/) to the NAMI organization for your state. NAMI offers free support groups in communities across the country for individuals caring for loved ones with serious mental illness. They can help you to navigate the mental health system. Contact them for support and assistance.


I hope these ideas assist you in helping your mother. Please write again if you have additional questions.


Dr. Kristina Randle



How Do We Get My [Bipolar](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/) Mania Mom to Go Get Help? it is a pregnancy thing... you're uterus is swelling and sometimes rests on your nerves. a chiropractor that deals with pregnancy chiropractic is always nice too... and my ultimate favorite is prenatal yoga. that helped mine every time. @a myfibroteam member 

how nice of you to say that. i, like many others, have asked god why? why am i the one who has this painful, incurable illness? why am i the one with major depressive disorder? why am i the one that was sexually assaulted so many times? why am i the one who has had to take care of my sister’s children, help them pay for their educations, and support them as they navigate the waters of this crazy world we live in? why me? i made a conscious decision a few years ago, when my lifelong emotional scares got out of control, that i would make one of the answers to those questions be “to help others navigate through this thing called life”. if i can help just one person feel less alone, or like someone cares, or like there is hope after all i will have succeed at life. if i can help just one person fight back instead of giving in my life has a purpose. as a result, this normally very private person has gradually learned to be very open. i am not ashamed of the things that happened...disappointed or angry yes but not ashamed. i talk openly about how major depressive disorder has affected my life and how i’ve been able to come to terms with it. i talk openly about close brushes with suicide and what worked to get me back to a better place mentally. i talk a little less openly about the impact sexual assault had on every aspect of my life (that one is harder because i’m still working on some of the emotions and reactions around it). i talk openly about the changes i’m having to make as fibromyalgia makes itself more and more obvious in me. i’m not perfect. i still get angry and upset. i still get frustrated. i still feel hopeless sometimes. i feel all the negative emotions everyone else does but if i can help just one person, i will have a reason for all i’ve gone through. perhaps people on this site are that reason. it is my deepest hope that others don’t have to suffer as i have but, if they have, i want to use my god-given caregiver heart to help them through. 

may god bless and keep you. 

shirley Hi Nur,



  

Thank you for asking HealthReplies.com.











Maybe you mean TB lymphadenitis (tuberculosis).



  

Mycobacterium tuberculosis can indeed infect a variety of organ systems, including the lymph nodes. These bacteria usually enter through the respiratory tract, especially in people who come in close contact with other TB sufferers, children, the elderly, and people with poor immune system. Under normal conditions, this lymph node functions as a haven and proliferation of white blood cells in warding off infections, including TB infection. However, along with its development, this lymph node itself can actually become infected, so that arises lymphadenitis. Clinically, TB lymphadenitis sufferers will experience lumps (often in the neck, armpits, or groin) that are round, smooth, springy, and often feel painful, especially when pressed. Not only that, TB lymphadenitis can also make sufferers experience fever, excessive sweating, weight gain is difficult to rise, weakness, fatigue, and various other complaints.



  

Handling TB lymphadenitis is done by giving OAT (anti-TB drugs) that must be consumed by sufferers for at least 6 consecutive months. Every month, the patient will be re-evaluated by a doctor to assess his responsiveness to the treatment given. After more than 2 months of treatment, complaints will generally improve slowly.



  

However, you need to know, that the treatment of TB lymphadenitis must also be accompanied by appropriate natural treatments, including those related to diet, regulation of activities, and also lifestyle modification. This inadequate treatment is likely to make your mother appear to be undergoing improvement despite long-term treatment. It could also, the slow healing process occurs due to the non-optimal resistance of your mother's body, resistance (immunity) of bacteria to the treatment given, as well as a variety of other factors. Compared with other complaints. lumps in lymph nodes due to TB lymphadenitis often will indeed not disappear completely, even though the patient's status has recovered from illness.



  

The itching that your mother is experiencing right now could be a side effect of the OAT she is taking. It could also, this itching occurs due to other reasons, for example allergies, skin irritation, infections, disorders of liver function, disorders of the thyroid gland, dry skin, atopic dermatitis, contact dermatitis, and so on.



  

Our advice, you check your mother back to the doctor or a specialist in internal medicine in order to get the right treatment. Meanwhile, at home, help your mother do the following steps:







Take OAT as recommended by your doctor  

Give your mother healthy and nutritious food, containing rich calories and protein  

Give him too much to drink  

Let your mother take a break from exhausting activities  

Accompany him to exercise  

Create a clean, well-ventilated and well-lit environment  

If you or someone else around your mother shows symptoms of TB infection, see your doctor directly to treat them properly



Hope this helps ... Hello Rahma,



The condition of your mother who experienced the complaints as mentioned should not be taken lightly, especially if accompanied by blurred vision. These complaints can be caused by various medical conditions including:



Inflammation of the cornea or part of the eyeball that is black due to infection with fungi, bacteria, viruses, etc. Glaucoma or damage to the nerves in the eye due to increased eye pressure



Because it can be caused by various medical conditions, direct examination by a doctor is necessary. The doctor will examine especially your mother's eyes and perform additional examinations if needed. Treatment will adjust to the underlying cause, which can be eye drops containing antibiotics, anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal, etc.



Some tips that can be done regarding your mother's condition:



Do not rub the eyes Warm compresses on the swollen parts of the eye Do not use eye drops without doctor's instructions Consume nutritious food and get enough rest



If the complaints that your mother is experiencing are getting worse, then it's a good idea to immediately visit an eye doctor to get the right treatment



May be useful



dr. M. Rizki try to call md office and ask if they can expedite the appointment. if they have cancellation, they hopefully can squeeze you in to their schedule. tell them the urgency. if the pain is so bad and you have no way to be seen early by pmd- consider about urgent care. see more... she needs to be built up...why are people making her feel worse? this should be a place she can feel like she can vent and share her fears without judgment. who are we to make her feel worse....please think about this before you post.