How Do We Get My Bipolar Mania Mom to Go Get Help?




> If the law says you can’t force someone to go to the doctor and get help…how do you get them help. My mom has suffered from [bipolar](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/) [mania](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/manic-episode/) for years. We know because the first time she had it when they had the ambulance take her because she hadn’t slept for 7 days the doc said it was bipolar. No episode for years then for about the last 4 years she has had at least 1-3 episodes per year. Now it’s getting more frequent. She in in major denial. We’ve even set up doctor appointments and she made us cancel. At 71 I don’t think her body can take the level the mania is putting her through. Is there a way to force help on her? How do we address it to her when she is in denial? Do we wait to have the conversation when she is not manic or during manic? HELP…WE ARE AT THE END OF OUR ROPE. 
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> How Do We Get My Bipolar Mania Mom to Go Get Help?
A.  I’m sorry that this is happening to you. I have worked with many families who have faced a similar situation. Your predicament is fairly common. As you noted, the law prohibits forcing someone into treatment unless a case can be made that they are a danger to themselves or to others. Imminent danger standards, make it very difficult for many people to receive help until something happens.


I would recommend becoming educated about your potential options. Start by googling “Georgia and involuntary commitment laws.” You should be able to find good information about civil commitment options in your state. According to my research, for inpatient treatment, an individual would have to meet the following criteria:


1. pose an imminent danger to self/others, evidenced by recent overt acts or expressed threats of violence OR are
2. unable to care for their own physical health and safety so as to create an imminently life endangering crisis and in need of involuntary treatment.



For outpatient treatment, a person must meet the following criteria:


1. based on treatment history or current mental status, requires outpatient treatment in order to avoid imminently becoming an impatient AND
2. is unable to voluntary seek or comply with outpatient treatment.


You might try contacting your local mental health crisis team. They may be willing to come to the home, evaluate your mother’s condition and assist her in obtaining treatment.


You should also explore guardianship laws in your state. If possible, consult a guardianship attorney to determine if anything can be done to assist your mother. At 71, it’s possible that she’s experiencing a mix of [mania](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/manic-episode/) and potentially dementia. Guardianship may be an option.


I would also recommend consulting the local National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) groups in your state. Here is a [link](https://namiga.org/) to the NAMI organization for your state. NAMI offers free support groups in communities across the country for individuals caring for loved ones with serious mental illness. They can help you to navigate the mental health system. Contact them for support and assistance.


I hope these ideas assist you in helping your mother. Please write again if you have additional questions.


Dr. Kristina Randle



How Do We Get My [Bipolar](https://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/) Mania Mom to Go Get Help?
I'm so sorry. This is hard to accept. But sometimes people get to the point that they don't want to socialize. My mother - who was once very social - simply arrived at a point where she only wanted those close to her or the nursing home staff around. She was in a lot of pain which I think was much of it.   
  
If your mother was once social, then you could ask the doctor to experiment with her medications. There may be other options.  
  
However, sometimes we have to accept that these diseases take their course and we can only do so much. Forcing what the person obviously doesn't want isn't helpful.  
  
Offering suggestions - yes - so continue to do that. I'm certain that the AL staff does the same. But you can't make it happen if it's not going to happen. Offer all of the support that you can.  
Take care of yourself, too.  
Carol The answer can be complex depending on what your grandmother is willing to do/accept. Does your grand mother have Power of Attorney for his medical care and finances???? Is your grandmother willing to put her health and marriage first?? If not, it gets very complicated.  
  
1)The Area Agency on Aging is in every county in the USA. She can contact them to come out to evaluate your great grand father for his needs. They offer help with various situations. It is based on income level.  
  
2)Having a Power of Attorney (POA) is a necessity to make legal decisions for another persons medical/finance.  
  
3) If your grandmother does not have a POA and your great-grandfather refuses to get one, there is only one way that I know about to help your grandmother, but only if she is willing to be very strong against her father.'  
  
She can take her father to the ER for medical issue. Then she would have to be very strong to say, "I cannot take care of him." What happens, is the state steps in and he would be placed in a facility if it is determined he cannot take care of himself. Many of had to do this, it sounds drastic, but sometimes it is the only solution when the caregiver is having their own health issues to take care of. The hospital will pressure your grandmother so she will have to stand her ground.   
  
Maybe someone else will have more to offer you than I do. Good luck, and I hope something can be done. she might be depressed. judicious low dose treatment might help her.... and you. see a geriatrician. I think many of us have to depend more on observation and self-study than on diagnoses, given the expense of testing and the ugly fact that nothing short of an autopsy can give certainty. Here’s how we are coping with that uncertainty. Before my Mom came to live with us, she had fallen at night going toward the bathroom in her apartment. It was 3 days before anyone found her, and there was severe dehydration and some brain damage due to oxygen starvation. She recovered some functioning in rehab, but we had also noticed before the fall that there were more and more signs of cognitive decline. We were warned by a friend who is a geriatric psychologist to not accept the overall “Alzheimer’s” diagnosis which was bound to occur, but to be aware that there were dozens of dementias, some of which needed very different approaches from what is advised for Alzheimer’s. After she got out of rehab she went through a very bad AL situation and into a very good one. She had a GP who made housecalls but was not that knowledgeable about dementia. She had begun describing what could only be hallucinations and agitation, so her doctor put her on an anti-psychotic, an anti-anxiety and a depression medication. Wow! What a mess! Mom had rarely even taken an aspirin before that so maybe her body was super-responsive to the invaders. Anyway, it did more damage than good, and once we eliminated the meds, she slept all the time. We decided to move her in with us and her new doctor prescribed Namenda. We started with 10 mg, which was too much and increased her agitation. We cut back to 5 mg. once a day at nighttime and it was like a miracle occurred! Now don’t get me wrong, there’s still dementia and it’s still advancing. But my point is that sometimes when you don’t have a diagnosis, it’s useful to read up on the various kinds of dementias, do a checklist of the symptoms to determine which is the best match to the behaviors you are seeing, then become knowledgeable about the various RX’s physicians are likely to try, and get very good at monitoring the response to each and asking about/suggesting others you’ve read about. (I know, you thought that was what doctors did — me, too! Wrong!). I found that as long as I behaved as a fairly well-informed and non-judgmental problem-solving partner (and not as an over-protective, aggressive, critical, and sometimes hysterical relative), I got the same treatment back from the doctors. (Of course, if I did not get that, I did not hesitate to find a doctor with an attitude that worked better for us.). Over time, the troubles with balance, the hallucinations that occur immediately if she misses a dose of Namenda, the depth perception, the amount of activity and conversation that goes on while she’s “sleeping”, the extreme variability from “almost normal” to “almost unable to function”, etc. convinced me it is LBD. It’s not a formal diagnosis because we can’t afford all that testing either. But it’s enough for me to protect her from getting inappropriate medications. While there may come a time to move her to a memory care unit, I will also be able to be proactive with staff about what works with her LBD that is probably vastly different from what works with some of their ALZ patients. Summary: observe, study, and use your best and most loving judgment, with or without a diagnosis. Respect but don’t worship the doctors who are trying to help. And trust your gut. You spend more time with your LO than anyone else and your observations are valuable. I feel not. Let her go in peace forcing food is not peace. This is your Mothers Journey not yours. She's 87 years old . What life really lies ahead for her other than more suffering. Does she not have a living will. I would never want to be force fed nor my Daddy (who himself was a Doctor) or My Husband also a Doctor. This is just my opinion. If you must then give her Ensure. Mix the Ensure with ice cream . Without it nobody would drink its. its awful. My Mummy takes it but we Doctor it up and she thinks its a milk shake just for her. Now that she's in a group home , we still make it for her there and she loves it. But she would not drink it just plain right from the can. Good Luck on whatever your path shall be. But remember 87 is a nice Life . Why let her suffer , when need not be. part of becoming an adult and having a family of your own is learning how to manage relationships with other people... like your own parents. it can be devastating to have a parent with mental illness, i do understand, my dad lost his battle with mental illness several years ago. however, when you are responsible for a child of your own, you've got to be able to function no matter what else is happening around you. part of that is giving yourself time and space to grieve and to feel what you are feeling rather than trying to stuff it down. find someone to talk to that you can let those tears go with, a counselor... or friend... your husband... even calling a warmline if necessary. the baby will be fine. Hello Rahma,



The condition of your mother who experienced the complaints as mentioned should not be taken lightly, especially if accompanied by blurred vision. These complaints can be caused by various medical conditions including:



Inflammation of the cornea or part of the eyeball that is black due to infection with fungi, bacteria, viruses, etc. Glaucoma or damage to the nerves in the eye due to increased eye pressure



Because it can be caused by various medical conditions, direct examination by a doctor is necessary. The doctor will examine especially your mother's eyes and perform additional examinations if needed. Treatment will adjust to the underlying cause, which can be eye drops containing antibiotics, anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal, etc.



Some tips that can be done regarding your mother's condition:



Do not rub the eyes Warm compresses on the swollen parts of the eye Do not use eye drops without doctor's instructions Consume nutritious food and get enough rest



If the complaints that your mother is experiencing are getting worse, then it's a good idea to immediately visit an eye doctor to get the right treatment



May be useful



dr. M. Rizki in many cases it can be treated or managed. first step - a medical consultation to rule out medical conditions, medication, etc. a psychological or psychiatric eval can determine if the insomnia is really part of a treatable psychiatric condition, and practicing good sleep hygiene / working with a psychologist can help. http://cpancf.com/articles\_files/sleephygienehandout.asp. see more... I would suggest looking for an assisted living or Memory Care program. Sounds like he needs to have a Power of Attorney assigned for finance and also one for health care. Has anyone in the family broached these topics with your father? Unfortunately, you are now in the position of needing to be more proactive in caring for your father, much like your parents did for you when you were a child unable to make decisions for yourself. It sounds like it is time for a family meeting with your siblings, if you have any, or contacting your local Department on Aging to assist you with the activities that need to be done to adequately care for your elderly father. help. the starting point is a comprehensive psychological assessment. talking therapy is important. cognitive behavioral therapy can be very effective. you may need medications. if you have active thoughts about killing yourself with a plan - then you need to be seen asap at the nearest emergency room. there is hope. you are worthy of getting excellent treatment. see more...