Is my boyfriend saying romance is not important?



 So today I told my boyfriend my ex never liked to hold my hand in public and be affectionate and that’s one of the things that I felt I was missing in the relationship, and ultimately ended it. He said that’s not very important to end a relationship. He said he thought sex was the most important thing along with kissing and hugging but other things like playing with each other’s hair and giving each other massages is just special not important. Anyways I asked him what he thought was really romantic? And he said for example planning a surprise trip, but we can’t do that right now. I asked him if thought it was never important to be extra romantic? And he said yes I can say it’s never important to be very romantic as there are couples who are poor and are happy with each other but don’t have to be very romantic to each other. I’ve got really upset as I think it is important. He in the end said he does think it’s important sometimes, but important isn’t the right word but special is... what do you guys think? Is he a completely un romantic douche? Or is he actually making sense with what he is saying :(
He's confusing romance with spending lots of money on her. Romance is critically important, but it's important to know how to do romantic things without shoveling out tons of money. Some of the most romantic things couples can do are about finding ways to create grand memories in the process of building a good life together.
let's put it this way: i think that some men are physically attractive. someone like leonardo dicaprio for instance. but i have no kind of other attraction toward him (or any other guys, for that matter). but toward women, i am physically, sexually, emotionally, romantically attracted to them (and any other attraction you can think of). i call myself a lesbian because…i am one. don't you see how? i'd never be able to be with a man in the way i could be with a woman. i'm just not built that way. 
if sexual and romantic attraction are essential for you in a relationship, i don't see how you'd be able to be in anything other than a lesbian relationship. if sex is essential for you in a relationship, i don't see how you'd really be able to distinguish panromanticism from homoromanticism, at least where it counts. if you want to base a relationship on romantic attraction, then i suppose that would be an entirely different case. it's up to you, in the end. You know this question could be answered either way. "Yes, he might be", or "no he really cares". Let's assume he likes talking with you and seeing you at the visitation. He likes that you are showing him attention. There is a chance that this relationship can grow beyond where it would have if he was out. Maybe you get to know each other better and he becomes more into you. Life is too short, you have to let this play out.


I'm sure you have great instincts (your inner feeling already knows), you have to trust yourself enough to make the right decision. Give it some time, try not to be too hard on yourself. He might be a rascal and a dirty dog too, but I vote for giving it a try and see how it plays out. You are in control of this relationship and every inmate knows this fact. Since the inmate loses control of what goes on in the outside world and he will often try to keep that control over the phone or letters. Just trust yourself and what you see and feel. fantasies are one thing, and reality another. no form of acting out such a fantasy would benefit anyone, and it would be highly likely to end up as hurtful and to severely damage your relationship. good advice all round, and poppie&#39;s ideas might be worth trying. if you had a fantasy involving high physical danger to him, or something like you leading him, naked, through the supermarket with a rope round his neck, would he be so eager to act it out for you, and accept the ridicule that would abound on him ? consider marriage counselling to work on what leads him, not to the fantasies, but to want to act out something so inevitably destructive to your marriage plz don't break your relationship... bcoz now u have more responsibilities than before... u have 2 maintain your relationship vth both your hubby and your kid.. treat your hubby also like your baby. give equal importance to both. do wt ever he likes and try to love him more than before. You can't help them. It is there problem not yours. By the sound of it they just aren't in love anymore. It happens. As the child you just have to stay out of it and accept it. I mean they deserve happiness Even if it isn't each other ok..first of all: love is a word too big to be brought into this discussion. and second: although u found this question to be awkward, once u stay and think for a minute it isn't like that at all. whether u like it or not, sex is part of our life, and it keeps getting more and more important as time goes by. it is true, a few time ago it was kinda ta-bu subject, but now the "sex topic" is as common as...let's say...listening to music! so in an era that promotes and gives a great importance to sex questions like "do girls fantasize about having sex wen they see a hot guy?" are not out of order. on the other hand, it is obvious that he is more experienced in this subject than u are. as a prove we have your "cry for help" here. remember that: a guy will almost never give up an opportunity to have sex! but this doesn't mean your guy is only interested in having sex with you. in this case maybe he would have asked u out already. my advice is for you not to waste any more time by limiting yourself to only simple conversations with him. this could have 2 implications:
1. you fall for him because his "sweet talks" and maybe this is what he is waiting for.
2. this potential relationship evolves into a simple friendship relation, which would be not so good, since you clearly have feelings for him.
so ask him out, or at least make him ask u out! good luck! tell him there is a baby that has no bottles so youre going to collect all his bottles for the baby.

have him help you put them all in a bag for goodwill or a friend or just to put away. he'll feel important. Your girl sees you like a partner, and a little like a big brother under that umbrella. Now imagine telling that to your 5 year old little sister. Wouldn't she do the same thing? It's not particularly that she is just sad, is that she sees that you don't want to be her partner. Instead, what you want to do is to push the fun for later and respect that engagement. A. It is not uncommon for people to have had a few intimate relationships by their late 20s. My guess is that you being a virgin and her having had experience in relationships is at the root of your concern. It is hard to imagine something we have not experienced.

That having been said it is important to note that at this stage of life it is unlikely that you will meet anyone that has not had a past romantic relationship. I would focus on the here and now you have with her. Here is what you have said:

1. She has stopped contact with others. This is a very good sign of her intention and commitment.
2. She has described her relationships in a way that makes sense – meaning that she was not in love and maintained them because she wanted options.
3. Her relationship with you has changed her thoughts and feelings about herself and what she wants.

Taken together this would seem to be a good indication of her commitment and willingness to be a partner with you. Your relationship is new, and this will mean that as you grow together these concerns are likely to take a back seat. Meditation may be an excellent way for you to modulate your feelings and angst about the situation. Over time her commitment to you will dispel these concerns.

Wishing you patience and peace,  
 *Dr. Dan*  
 [*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)

Issue with Girlfriend’s Past he might have a hand fetish...a sexual attraction to hands. but he might just be a very tactile person...someone who expresses emotions through touch.