any girl whose been hurt before reply?
i don’t like telling my friends my personal problems, i need someone to vent to anonymously. been having bad relationship problems. need a friend..
you are free to message me anytime. it is an offer but i cannot be your friend because i have realized long time back that i am not meant for friendships.you will surely get help and support though. i will try my best.
she needs to be built up...why are people making her feel worse? this should be a place she can feel like she can vent and share her fears without judgment. who are we to make her feel worse....please think about this before you post. A. It is not uncommon for people to have had a few intimate relationships by their late 20s. My guess is that you being a virgin and her having had experience in relationships is at the root of your concern. It is hard to imagine something we have not experienced.

That having been said it is important to note that at this stage of life it is unlikely that you will meet anyone that has not had a past romantic relationship. I would focus on the here and now you have with her. Here is what you have said:

1. She has stopped contact with others. This is a very good sign of her intention and commitment.
2. She has described her relationships in a way that makes sense – meaning that she was not in love and maintained them because she wanted options.
3. Her relationship with you has changed her thoughts and feelings about herself and what she wants.

Taken together this would seem to be a good indication of her commitment and willingness to be a partner with you. Your relationship is new, and this will mean that as you grow together these concerns are likely to take a back seat. Meditation may be an excellent way for you to modulate your feelings and angst about the situation. Over time her commitment to you will dispel these concerns.

Wishing you patience and peace,  
 *Dr. Dan*  
 [*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)

Issue with Girlfriend’s Past @a myfibroteam member 

how nice of you to say that. i, like many others, have asked god why? why am i the one who has this painful, incurable illness? why am i the one with major depressive disorder? why am i the one that was sexually assaulted so many times? why am i the one who has had to take care of my sister’s children, help them pay for their educations, and support them as they navigate the waters of this crazy world we live in? why me? i made a conscious decision a few years ago, when my lifelong emotional scares got out of control, that i would make one of the answers to those questions be “to help others navigate through this thing called life”. if i can help just one person feel less alone, or like someone cares, or like there is hope after all i will have succeed at life. if i can help just one person fight back instead of giving in my life has a purpose. as a result, this normally very private person has gradually learned to be very open. i am not ashamed of the things that happened...disappointed or angry yes but not ashamed. i talk openly about how major depressive disorder has affected my life and how i’ve been able to come to terms with it. i talk openly about close brushes with suicide and what worked to get me back to a better place mentally. i talk a little less openly about the impact sexual assault had on every aspect of my life (that one is harder because i’m still working on some of the emotions and reactions around it). i talk openly about the changes i’m having to make as fibromyalgia makes itself more and more obvious in me. i’m not perfect. i still get angry and upset. i still get frustrated. i still feel hopeless sometimes. i feel all the negative emotions everyone else does but if i can help just one person, i will have a reason for all i’ve gone through. perhaps people on this site are that reason. it is my deepest hope that others don’t have to suffer as i have but, if they have, i want to use my god-given caregiver heart to help them through. 

may god bless and keep you. 

shirley ahhhhhhhhh 



**** baby i really dont know how to say this to you 
i know i should of came to you a lot sooner 
but its killing me inside 
knowing that i aint ready for this 
but i love you 

girl i, i gotta tell the truth 
got somethin to confess to you 
why it took me so long for me to come and talk to you 
(baby) would never do nothin to ever hurt you girl 
girl you know 
that i gon always love you 

coz i reall wanna prove to you 
that i can be that ??? lovin do 
i aint ready yet girl x2 
and even tho u hurtin now 
i wanna see a smile 
and you wear a frown 
girl i aint ready yet girl x2 
but ima still be here for you 

i gota fallback 
before im hurtin you girl you no at the end 
you no im, 
im gona regret dat 
ima fall back aint no otha girl lovin me like u do 
im feelin you 
believe that 
i gota fall back 
before i mess up what i hav with you 
girl you dont understand 
i gotta fall back 
girl 

because i got to you 

girl you deserve betta than me 
im hopin that u dont understand 
coz we 
well b togeda again ill *** back a betta man 
one day youll understand what im goin thru 
and look back to say thankyou 
dont you think 
that i dont care about you 

coz i reall wanna prove to you 
that i can be that ???? lovin do 
i aint ready yet girl x2 
and even tho u hurtin now 
i wanna see a smile 
and you wear a frown 
girl i aint ready yet girl x2 
but ima still be here for you 

i gota fallback 
before im hurtin you girl you no at the end 
you no im, 
im gona regret dat 
ima fall back aint no otha girl lovin me like u do 
im feelin you 
believe that 
i gota fall back 
before i mess up what i hav with you 
girl you dont understand 
i gotta fall back 
girl 

yeahhh 
because i got to 

this is hard for me i dont wanna leav you girl 
and i 
i hope you believe you were meant for me 
girl 
if you give me sometime 
ima change your mind 
girl 
i dont wanna go away 
but ill hurt you if i stay 

i gota fallback 
before im hurtin you girl you no at the end 
you no im, 
im gona regret dat 
ima fall back aint no otha girl lovin me like u do 
im feelin you 
believe that 
i gota fall back 
before i mess up what i have with you 
girl you dont understand 
i gotta fall back 
girl A.  You are right to be concerned. It sounds like your daughter has been increasingly isolating herself. Although successful in that she goes to school, her friendship circle is very limited for someone her age. Although it’s not unusual for people to talk through problems or to review their day with themselves in the privacy of the bathroom or their own room, your report that she may be punishing herself by screaming and slapping isn’t typical or okay.


Sometimes our kids can’t tell us what is troubling them so they consciously or unconsciously leave hints around so that we’ll find them. Kids sometimes “accidentally” leave a diary open where we’ll find it or “accidentally” leave a distressing email open on the family computer, for example. It’s their way of sending out a distress signal without having to quite take responsibility for doing so.



I’m guessing your daughter’s lengthy time in the bathroom is something like that. On some level she knows that you will be concerned about a two-hour stay in there.


It’s past time for you to respond to the signal. Find a therapist who specializes in young adults. Ask your doctor for a referral or click on the “Find Help” tab on the PsychCentral homepage. There may also be a behavioral health clinic at her college. Brief the therapist on the phone and ask for some guidance about how to get your daughter to go in. (Sometimes it’s helpful if a parent goes to part of the first session.) 


Then, in a loving way, let your daughter know how concerned you are. Tell her that you know that she is upset and that you want to help. Reassure her that she doesn’t deserve to be punished by herself or by anyone else – no matter what. Insist that she see the counselor. Tell her you are willing to go with her. Don’t argue. Don’t get mad. Stay in that loving, concerned place.


[Parenting](https://psychcentral.com/lib/category/parenting/) doesn’t end because a child is at the age to start leaving home. We all have to figure out when to let go and when to still pull the “parent card.” In this situation, your daughter is telling you without words that she needs you to be a mom. Please follow through. She sounds like she really needs help.


I wish you well.  

Dr. Marie


Daughter Talks to Herself your former friend is a toxic hypocrite. stay away from her. we all have our drama queen moments, but she's out of control at this point. she's not some 17 or 18 year old kid, she's a grown woman. if she feels that you were mistreating her in the past, she has a right to be upset, but she should talk to you about it in a mature and calm manner, not attack you about it now. but really, she's being hypocritical about mistreatment, when she's been the one embarrassing you in front of other people. i recommend that you continue to go on a separate course. you haven't spoken in a month, it seems that she's moving on with her life, move on with yours. every friendship has struggles, but for her to constantly attack you at this age is just dumb. you don't need that kind of stress. best of luck to you 😊 with a therapist or psychologist that you trust. such a person will help you sort out what is making you think you were abused and feelings associated with this idea and how this affects you life today. you can find a psychologist close to you here: locator.apa.org find someone who knows about sexual abuse and who you like and who feels safe. see more... maybe, if she has a self-esteem problem. in the end what you'll get is lots of cuts and bruises, and a bad sexual experience that makes you feel embarrassed every time you think about it for the rest of your life. A. It’s difficult to assess the seriousness of this on the basis of only a letter so let me just share a couple of thoughts.

People by nature tend to fall somewhere on a scale from introvert to extrovert. It may be that at least part of this is that you are on the introvert end of the scale. There is nothing wrong with that! But, the larger culture celebrates extroverts. In high school, the general idea is that everyone is supposed to be outgoing and popular. Of course, not everyone can be. Not everyone wants to be. So let’s at least assume that part of what goes on is that you have a more restrained approach to life. One thing that supports this is that you do have a couple of close friends and that seems to be enough for you.

As for being out with others: I wonder if you have developed the skills you need to be comfortable out in the social world. Introverts can and do learn how to manage social situations enough so that they can be successful in their careers and can find loving relationships. Notice that I said “skills”. Skills are behaviors you can learn (like how to make small talk, how to be an active listener, how to be a good communicator, etc.). As you get more practiced in these skills, you will be more comfortable being with people for longer periods of time. But you will still need your alone time to “recover” from a lot of social interaction.

The line in your letter that does worry me is your statement that you can spend hours holed up in your room and in bed. Yes, you may need time to recharge your social batteries but it would do a lot more for your self-esteem if you would use that time to pursue an interest or to do something to make the world a better place. Think about ways to support a cause or candidate or to educate yourself about something you are genuinely interested in. You will feel better about yourself than if you just hang out wondering if there is something wrong with you. An important bonus is that it will give you more to talk about when you are with people.

I hope this is helpful. I wish you well.  
 Dr. Marie

I Want or Need to Be Alone some of mine do and some don't. i quit trying to explain to ppl who have no idea what it's all about. some will never truly understand this illness anyhow. hugs. take care 🌺