family members
do other family members understand your condition and how you feel daily?

my family doesn't bc apparently it's all in my head for attention. so wrong when you need support
some of mine do and some don't. i quit trying to explain to ppl who have no idea what it's all about. some will never truly understand this illness anyhow. hugs. take care 🌺
part of becoming an adult and having a family of your own is learning how to manage relationships with other people... like your own parents. it can be devastating to have a parent with mental illness, i do understand, my dad lost his battle with mental illness several years ago. however, when you are responsible for a child of your own, you've got to be able to function no matter what else is happening around you. part of that is giving yourself time and space to grieve and to feel what you are feeling rather than trying to stuff it down. find someone to talk to that you can let those tears go with, a counselor... or friend... your husband... even calling a warmline if necessary. the baby will be fine. "normal" for a mentally healthy person, no. "normal" for someone with depression, absolutely. i have been in your boyfriends shoes. i have sabotaged countless relationships because of my depression and anxieties. it's like when i need people the most i push them away because i know i'm going to let them down. when i slip back into my depression i am no use to other people. i can't be there for them, i can't go out, i can barely even hold a conversation. it sound to me like he is trying to protect you. he probably doesn't realize he may actually be hurting you and himself with what he is doing. every individuals have diff way of coping , some people can't be happy without someone on their side or sometimes they are sad and wants to be around people. Some people are not strong enough emo and mentally to be alone so they want something to be busy about rather than thinking about the break up but some people just dont feel pain or just ignore the pain. More than likely, you're experiencing Compassion Fatigue which is defined as   
 a condition characterized by emotional and physical exhaustion leading to a diminished ability to empathize or feel compassion for others, often described as the negative cost of caring. It is sometimes referred to as secondary traumatic stress.  
  
Google it, and take the test online to see if you suffer from it vs. burnout; there is a big difference. Here is an article on the subject:  
  
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/compassion-fatigue  
  
Here's a link to the Compassion Fatigue test for helpers:  
  
https://www.michvma.org/resources/Documents/Prof.%20Competencies/2017%20Proceedings/figley%20self%20assessment%202.pdf  
  
Please don't ever think of yourself as a horrible, careless person! We are all human and as such, have our breaking points, especially after care giving for years on end. Don't think of yourself as some being that should be able to handle all that's thrown at you without breaking down........that's not realistic or healthy. Nor is it realistic or healthy for you to be in such a position to be a personal caregiver to a mother who's been so sick for so long. A nursing home is staffed with teams of caregivers who work around the clock precisely so that one or two people don't have to suffer the tremendous burden that you and your father have been suffering. You're only two people doing the job of a large TEAM of people; so it's no wonder you're feeling this way.  
  
Wishing you the best of luck in finding peace and joy for yourself amidst the duties you've taken on. it could be your body language and demeanor that they dont like. there are things we do that are subconcious that others notice but we dont ourselves. if people judge that hard though, are they really worth being around and getting to know? that sounds rough, i am sorry you aren't feeling well. my advice is just go to a different hospital to get a different view on your situation. please don't hold off on it, this problem really needs to be taken care of. A.  I am deeply moved by your situation and understand the devastation following a desertion. Trying to understand his motivation and lack of caring re-injures you emotionally. No matter how many times you try to understand this story of betrayal it will leave you empty. This is a time to reclaim yourself and reconnect with those who love you — and whose care can fill you up. Building a network of social support takes some doing. Asking for help, expressing gratitude toward those who have extended their kindness, and immersing in the best self-care practices you can will help you feel better.


Thoughts determine the direction of our feelings and behavior. If you dwell on him you are turning your thoughts toward more difficult and unsatisfying feelings. Focusing on what you need and the loving people in your life will be better way to go.



Wishing you patience and peace,  

*Dr. Dan*  

[*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)


Struggling to Accept that He Doesn’t Care about Me when it comes to mental health, it can vastly affect how you look and feel about life and others simply because your brains chemistry isn't where it should be, so i'd say yes it can be seen as fairly normal. yeah and that's most of the same time but sometimes their little indeciveness mind gets the better of their mind making them confused if you are or aren't I'm so sorry. This is hard to accept. But sometimes people get to the point that they don't want to socialize. My mother - who was once very social - simply arrived at a point where she only wanted those close to her or the nursing home staff around. She was in a lot of pain which I think was much of it.   
  
If your mother was once social, then you could ask the doctor to experiment with her medications. There may be other options.  
  
However, sometimes we have to accept that these diseases take their course and we can only do so much. Forcing what the person obviously doesn't want isn't helpful.  
  
Offering suggestions - yes - so continue to do that. I'm certain that the AL staff does the same. But you can't make it happen if it's not going to happen. Offer all of the support that you can.  
Take care of yourself, too.  
Carol