Am I going to be alone forever?



 Anyone else feel like there are no fish in the sea? I don't know why, everything else in life is wonderful but I can't seem to find anyone interested in me.
Your time hasn't come yet. No need to be discouraged. Use this time to grow and learn about yourself. Read to uplift and encourage yourself. Dont compare your life to others because you aren't meant to be like the next person
probably the fact that i never managed to get back in touch with some of my best friends and the fact that i have never had the guts to confess my love to someone, but i think i could live with that. i don't have any idea about it A. It’s difficult to assess the seriousness of this on the basis of only a letter so let me just share a couple of thoughts.

People by nature tend to fall somewhere on a scale from introvert to extrovert. It may be that at least part of this is that you are on the introvert end of the scale. There is nothing wrong with that! But, the larger culture celebrates extroverts. In high school, the general idea is that everyone is supposed to be outgoing and popular. Of course, not everyone can be. Not everyone wants to be. So let’s at least assume that part of what goes on is that you have a more restrained approach to life. One thing that supports this is that you do have a couple of close friends and that seems to be enough for you.

As for being out with others: I wonder if you have developed the skills you need to be comfortable out in the social world. Introverts can and do learn how to manage social situations enough so that they can be successful in their careers and can find loving relationships. Notice that I said “skills”. Skills are behaviors you can learn (like how to make small talk, how to be an active listener, how to be a good communicator, etc.). As you get more practiced in these skills, you will be more comfortable being with people for longer periods of time. But you will still need your alone time to “recover” from a lot of social interaction.

The line in your letter that does worry me is your statement that you can spend hours holed up in your room and in bed. Yes, you may need time to recharge your social batteries but it would do a lot more for your self-esteem if you would use that time to pursue an interest or to do something to make the world a better place. Think about ways to support a cause or candidate or to educate yourself about something you are genuinely interested in. You will feel better about yourself than if you just hang out wondering if there is something wrong with you. An important bonus is that it will give you more to talk about when you are with people.

I hope this is helpful. I wish you well.  
 Dr. Marie

I Want or Need to Be Alone some of mine do and some don't. i quit trying to explain to ppl who have no idea what it's all about. some will never truly understand this illness anyhow. hugs. take care 🌺 Life is what we make of it, so it is really YOU yourself who give your life a purpose. If you feel you need friends, go out and make friends. If this is difficult for you, look up for ways to make friends. There are many sites that give good tips. If you think you need to pep up your life, go out, get a hobby, try something new, be brave and explore. You will not change your life if you don't try.Ultimately, it is down to you to make the effort to do something about it. Sometimes the best way to feel cared for is to go out there and share your love with people (that's why people who volunteer at old folks' homes, shelters or orphanages find joy in what they do - the more love they give, the more loved they feel).   

  

But having a busy social life and having thousands of friends will not make you happier or less pathetic. Try to rethink your values on what is 'pathetic'. Whose values and perspectives are you basing your assumptions on? Who's to say your life is pathetic? Some people have very few friends and don't go out much and can still enjoy their lives because they acknowledge that they don't need to be part of the crowd to be happy or have fulfilling lives.   

  

Also, if you still have family who give you food and shelter and don't abuse you, it's unfair to say nobody cares. sorry. i wish i could help but i find it weird that people “like” your post and not say anything. i posted yesterday and i was like ok… ummm do you want to look at my book? hah. all the best sir! she obviously has nothing better to do.
she has low self worth. no idea yeah. from my experience, a true friend is the hardest thing you’ll ever find. the older you’ll get, true friends will stick around, and the fake ones will leave. @a myfibroteam member 

how nice of you to say that. i, like many others, have asked god why? why am i the one who has this painful, incurable illness? why am i the one with major depressive disorder? why am i the one that was sexually assaulted so many times? why am i the one who has had to take care of my sister’s children, help them pay for their educations, and support them as they navigate the waters of this crazy world we live in? why me? i made a conscious decision a few years ago, when my lifelong emotional scares got out of control, that i would make one of the answers to those questions be “to help others navigate through this thing called life”. if i can help just one person feel less alone, or like someone cares, or like there is hope after all i will have succeed at life. if i can help just one person fight back instead of giving in my life has a purpose. as a result, this normally very private person has gradually learned to be very open. i am not ashamed of the things that happened...disappointed or angry yes but not ashamed. i talk openly about how major depressive disorder has affected my life and how i’ve been able to come to terms with it. i talk openly about close brushes with suicide and what worked to get me back to a better place mentally. i talk a little less openly about the impact sexual assault had on every aspect of my life (that one is harder because i’m still working on some of the emotions and reactions around it). i talk openly about the changes i’m having to make as fibromyalgia makes itself more and more obvious in me. i’m not perfect. i still get angry and upset. i still get frustrated. i still feel hopeless sometimes. i feel all the negative emotions everyone else does but if i can help just one person, i will have a reason for all i’ve gone through. perhaps people on this site are that reason. it is my deepest hope that others don’t have to suffer as i have but, if they have, i want to use my god-given caregiver heart to help them through. 

may god bless and keep you. 

shirley