Why do some people hook up a lot after break ups?



 So I have had some crappy break ups, but I have never once wanted to go around and sleep with a bunch of people... Why do so many people do this?
every individuals have diff way of coping , some people can't be happy without someone on their side or sometimes they are sad and wants to be around people. Some people are not strong enough emo and mentally to be alone so they want something to be busy about rather than thinking about the break up but some people just dont feel pain or just ignore the pain.
probably. however, achieving more success would probably attract more fake people in your life than you might actually think. if you fall rock bottom at some point, those people will disappear and you’ll be all by yourself again. so if i were to become more successful and increase my financial status. i’d stay solo.

the rest of the people who somehow fly to me like bees on a honeycomb can pretty much fück off.

if you weren’t with or didn’t like me from before. don’t come near me now. some people have not been equipped with the coping or social skills to create and maintain healthy relationships. yet, one can develop social skills by accepting that although a group of people are related by blood, they are not automatically healthy or beneficial for all. 
one can create new, healthy relationships by reshaping their outlook, possibly with the help of therapy, and taking up new hobbies for adults....joining co-ed groups to meet both males and females and not only will this be fun, but this will provide the healthy socialization adults benefit from. some people are introverts, which psychology has adjusted to mean where u get ur energy from. like, an extrovert get energy and life from interacting with lots of people and feels uplifted and empowered by this, whereas introverts can actually be social as well, but prefer limitied amounts as too much interaction makes them feel drained. it does not mean the socially awkard kid who people have only say one word, two years ago, sitting in the basement with no friends. A. It is not uncommon for people to have had a few intimate relationships by their late 20s. My guess is that you being a virgin and her having had experience in relationships is at the root of your concern. It is hard to imagine something we have not experienced.

That having been said it is important to note that at this stage of life it is unlikely that you will meet anyone that has not had a past romantic relationship. I would focus on the here and now you have with her. Here is what you have said:

1. She has stopped contact with others. This is a very good sign of her intention and commitment.
2. She has described her relationships in a way that makes sense – meaning that she was not in love and maintained them because she wanted options.
3. Her relationship with you has changed her thoughts and feelings about herself and what she wants.

Taken together this would seem to be a good indication of her commitment and willingness to be a partner with you. Your relationship is new, and this will mean that as you grow together these concerns are likely to take a back seat. Meditation may be an excellent way for you to modulate your feelings and angst about the situation. Over time her commitment to you will dispel these concerns.

Wishing you patience and peace,  
 *Dr. Dan*  
 [*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)

Issue with Girlfriend’s Past no i am not that stupid and i don't do online banking as they are too many people having their accounts cleared. A. It’s difficult to assess the seriousness of this on the basis of only a letter so let me just share a couple of thoughts.

People by nature tend to fall somewhere on a scale from introvert to extrovert. It may be that at least part of this is that you are on the introvert end of the scale. There is nothing wrong with that! But, the larger culture celebrates extroverts. In high school, the general idea is that everyone is supposed to be outgoing and popular. Of course, not everyone can be. Not everyone wants to be. So let’s at least assume that part of what goes on is that you have a more restrained approach to life. One thing that supports this is that you do have a couple of close friends and that seems to be enough for you.

As for being out with others: I wonder if you have developed the skills you need to be comfortable out in the social world. Introverts can and do learn how to manage social situations enough so that they can be successful in their careers and can find loving relationships. Notice that I said “skills”. Skills are behaviors you can learn (like how to make small talk, how to be an active listener, how to be a good communicator, etc.). As you get more practiced in these skills, you will be more comfortable being with people for longer periods of time. But you will still need your alone time to “recover” from a lot of social interaction.

The line in your letter that does worry me is your statement that you can spend hours holed up in your room and in bed. Yes, you may need time to recharge your social batteries but it would do a lot more for your self-esteem if you would use that time to pursue an interest or to do something to make the world a better place. Think about ways to support a cause or candidate or to educate yourself about something you are genuinely interested in. You will feel better about yourself than if you just hang out wondering if there is something wrong with you. An important bonus is that it will give you more to talk about when you are with people.

I hope this is helpful. I wish you well.  
 Dr. Marie

I Want or Need to Be Alone guilt is rarely a useful response after one has recognized that whatever one did was indeed wrong - the valuable response is then to go on and work out why it was wrong, what to learn from it, and how to avoid doing that again. 
<br/>loneliness is tough, and our society isn't kind to lonely people. and the media ( songs, tv, etc., sells to us an image of lerv that few of us achieve and which isn't actually as practical, easy and desirable as they represent it as. at least phone sex, so long as you limit it to that, is safe sex. 
<br/>work on developing friendships, at work, at church, through voluntary work, hobbies, whatever, and be open to the possibility of love when it turns up. 
<br/>
<br/> @a myfibroteam member 

how nice of you to say that. i, like many others, have asked god why? why am i the one who has this painful, incurable illness? why am i the one with major depressive disorder? why am i the one that was sexually assaulted so many times? why am i the one who has had to take care of my sister’s children, help them pay for their educations, and support them as they navigate the waters of this crazy world we live in? why me? i made a conscious decision a few years ago, when my lifelong emotional scares got out of control, that i would make one of the answers to those questions be “to help others navigate through this thing called life”. if i can help just one person feel less alone, or like someone cares, or like there is hope after all i will have succeed at life. if i can help just one person fight back instead of giving in my life has a purpose. as a result, this normally very private person has gradually learned to be very open. i am not ashamed of the things that happened...disappointed or angry yes but not ashamed. i talk openly about how major depressive disorder has affected my life and how i’ve been able to come to terms with it. i talk openly about close brushes with suicide and what worked to get me back to a better place mentally. i talk a little less openly about the impact sexual assault had on every aspect of my life (that one is harder because i’m still working on some of the emotions and reactions around it). i talk openly about the changes i’m having to make as fibromyalgia makes itself more and more obvious in me. i’m not perfect. i still get angry and upset. i still get frustrated. i still feel hopeless sometimes. i feel all the negative emotions everyone else does but if i can help just one person, i will have a reason for all i’ve gone through. perhaps people on this site are that reason. it is my deepest hope that others don’t have to suffer as i have but, if they have, i want to use my god-given caregiver heart to help them through. 

may god bless and keep you. 

shirley sorry i dont think she likes you. she is just using you to boost her confidence and make it seem like she has lots of guys under her wing. maybe she is trying to make another guy jealous. :-/ anywayz i could be wrong so gl. Sure.   

  

But most of the time they try to turn it down, because department regulations prohibit it in most places. Some places (in the old days) used to do it to try to curry favor and get better police protection. That is not really the case any more. Everybody knows that cops lock up the guy who bought them the free meal, just like they do the guy who charged full price.   

  

It is embarassing in someplaces, and some places won't take no for an answer, so you end up leaving a BIG tip. And someplaces are so flagrant aboit it, you stop going there.   

  

Back in the old days, when we made less money that any other public servant, we interperted it as a nice gesture. Now, we aren't sure why people do it. I guess it is somewhat akin to a professional courtesy. Lots of restaurants give half price to the guys who deliver to them, or the plumber who fixes their rest room.   

  

As far as the donuts, I love them, but don't eat too many any more, I have gotten too fat. But i do drink lots of Convenience store and donut shop coffee. Once upopn a time, only diners were open at night, all night, and it gave a police officer someplace to take a break from either foot or mechanized patrol. In the middle of the night, there are different people out and about in the world. So, the newspaper delivery man, the cop, the donut shop waitress and the bartenders going off duty are the only people around and they would often all come together in the diner or donut shop. no. people who have been in a persistent vegetative state rarely just open their eyes and start asking questions- like "how long have i been out?"- like on tv. they very gradually begin to be aware of their surroundings, and no- they don't bound out of the bed either. they are weakened and have lost muscle tone, and generally have a catheter in place! 
i always laugh when i see a scene like you described!