had to say no this time
i recently said no to my mother as one of her friends who i do not like has been bothering her about coming round to visit me at home as she wants to see my baby again. i find this odd as this woman is not my friend and i find her to be a bit of a loud and shallow person that dominates every conversation. i only agreed to have this woman at my babyshower, wedding and kitchen tea to please my mother and i have decided enough is enough. this woman has seen the baby once as i agreed to meet up with them for coffee but i don&#8217;t want her coming round to my house. i know it may seem petty but i don&#8217;t want to this woman involved with my family, she strikes me as a pushy social climber. why can&#8217;t some people take the hint?
there is surely no reason at all why a friend of your mom&#39;s, who is not a friend of yours, should visit you or take any particular interest in your baby. simply talk calmly to your mom, and explain that while you tolerated this woman at the shower and wedding, you don&#39;t like the woman and do not want her to visit you. your mother ought to udnerstand this. r3emind her that this is your house, your home and your baby, and your privacy must be respected rather than the idle curiosity of this other woman. that sort of person pushes up the social tree exactly because they are insensitive and never take hints
I'm so sorry. This is hard to accept. But sometimes people get to the point that they don't want to socialize. My mother - who was once very social - simply arrived at a point where she only wanted those close to her or the nursing home staff around. She was in a lot of pain which I think was much of it.   
  
If your mother was once social, then you could ask the doctor to experiment with her medications. There may be other options.  
  
However, sometimes we have to accept that these diseases take their course and we can only do so much. Forcing what the person obviously doesn't want isn't helpful.  
  
Offering suggestions - yes - so continue to do that. I'm certain that the AL staff does the same. But you can't make it happen if it's not going to happen. Offer all of the support that you can.  
Take care of yourself, too.  
Carol talk to her about it but not in a pressuring way. tell her you want to be with her but you understand and respect her decision. just give her the opportunity to change her mind, but if it's still a no, then just respect that and let it be. your picks are not appropriate at all for a wedding, or even someone your age. it's a formal event, not a night club. i agree that your mom's choice isn't cute, but it works for a wedding. if you want to be allowed to choose your own outfit, then you need to comprimise and show her something more conservative. i once had an abhorrent admirer, and he eventually sexually assaulted me. i don't even know how many times i told him prior to that that i wasn't interested, but it was definitely more than about ten times. he came over one night and asked me to let him in my apartment just to talk and to say goodbye. i thought (stupidly) that he was genuine, since that's all i wanted, and he knew it -- the goodbye part. people are unpredictable and can be dangerous. my advice is to just ignore, ignore, ignore. block if you need to, and don't give in to anything, even if you're "just trying to be nice" or "you don't want to hurt the person". and those people who are being harassed shouldn't tell someone to leave them alone, only to call *them* the next day - even just to check up on them and see if they're okay. no. just ignore them. don't send mixed messages, and there is no need to lose control over it. just ignore, block, and document it if it persists - because you never know if you have to make it a police issue. eventually people tire of not being recognized as that's all these types of people want -- attention. if they don't get it from one person, they eventually move on to someone else to get what they need. i've flirted with it before. i didn't get much interest. just women that i'm, to be politically uncorrect, way out of their league, at least in terms of the logistics of dating. all the women that i was interested in and messaged, didn't respond. actually what i'd say was going on is this. firstly you need to be aware of the psychology of it, and how peoples' minds work. ie, if you have forlorn selfies, one or two of you pondering the nature of existence in your bedroom, you're not going to get many bites from women. women can get away with being aloof and beautiful like that. men typically have to portray a more social and outgoing image, least that's what i imagine. if you can project the image of social power, then you're going to attract more of it. and i'm sort of eluding to the tragedy of dating websites and dating in general, and their 'unnaturalness'. it's all very calculated, and hardly dreamy romantic if one is check-boxing all the time. there's a lot of tragic people on there, trying to find a means to desperately get away from their tragedy and find that validation or quick thrill they are seeking. like all things, it's a question of intent. what are you true motivations. if one goes there, with innocent eyes, wholeheartedly, and is not there to deceive any body, or escape from anything, then of course, it's just another medium to meet people. the whole hearted thing is important. actually uploading a decent set of photos, putting some thought into your profile, etc. what you put in, you get out, it's not just a case of being there. the same applies to going to social gatherings in general. go to the same event, and make the effort to talk to people and be open, and one will get dramatically different results. also, i think on the positive, it can expand the potentiality of the people you can meet manifold. there's lots of interesting people out there. i really think it's like social media in general. it just fans, positive or negative, what you are already doing. of course, one could make a deeper argument about conscious control in the first place. we think we have conscious control of the happenings around us, but really, conscious 'control' is the mind's means of deluding us into thinking that we're not working to the subconscious forces within us. the truth about my 'rejections' were, i wasn't really into it, i was just playing... sort of, if you're feeling me, to make this more 'down' and gag friendly. tough one here. can't answer for sure if this is assault or not. you allowed for a certain level of play. you did however say "no" to follow on play. but... did you say no again? what were his thoughts? when he went further, it seems that you clearly stated you didn't want to do more. you allude to him stopping. it is true that "no means no." but you welcomed a second advance. so it is tough to say for sure that you were assaulted based on what you've provided.what i can say is this. both his and your behavior welcomed potential issues. glad it didn't go any further and he seemed to understand that. my advice is that you always protect yourself and be careful not to welcome advances you don't want. please believe me when i say that i'm not condoning his behavior. what i am saying is i wouldn't want to see something bad happen to you. a girl has gotta keep her guard up, unfortunately. so please take care of yourself always and be safe. different people have different comfort levels. it sounds like he is easily put off by your praising of your friend. some people are hypersensitive about certain issues and i think you found his off button. too bad he couldn't have a conversation about it and just blocked you because that seems wrong. I feel not. Let her go in peace forcing food is not peace. This is your Mothers Journey not yours. She's 87 years old . What life really lies ahead for her other than more suffering. Does she not have a living will. I would never want to be force fed nor my Daddy (who himself was a Doctor) or My Husband also a Doctor. This is just my opinion. If you must then give her Ensure. Mix the Ensure with ice cream . Without it nobody would drink its. its awful. My Mummy takes it but we Doctor it up and she thinks its a milk shake just for her. Now that she's in a group home , we still make it for her there and she loves it. But she would not drink it just plain right from the can. Good Luck on whatever your path shall be. But remember 87 is a nice Life . Why let her suffer , when need not be. i'm guessing she's a bit envious of you because she knows she should be exercising but isn't. that would explain why she shuts you down quickly by changing the topic. it's something she doesn't want to deal with.

remember that you don't need her approval or encouragement. it would be nice to have but she can't do that for you when it comes to your running success. 

good luck with the 1/2 marathon! i would think it was time to talk to the one who thinks you think are a moron and explain why you have given the other child money and what you really think of them.  if you want visits, tell them how much you appreciate them.  build a better relationship with both.