i need advice? is it just intrusive thoughts?
*sensitive post*please don't attack me.. okay... so i don't know how to start this. i feel like a monster. i have bad intrusive thoughts and feelings sometimes. the thing i fear the most, pedophilia. i have unwanted images, and things in my head. i don't know if i am a pedo? whenever i watch or even see a post about it and sometimes out of nowhere i start thinking about it. its non stop, bad thoughts. i know pedophilia is wrong, and i am not sexually attracted to kids. that's wrong on so many levels. but am i a pedo to an extent? i get trapped up in my room thinking i'm a bad person and just having horrible thoughts to the point where its agonizing. like my friends brother is 17, and i was kind of attracted to him? it's weird. i wouldn't ever act on it, i wouldn't do anything. i just don't wanna think this way! :( my mind races and races with horrible thoughts and issues. ugh why can't i be normal? i think pedophilia is a big issue now a days and if i ever saw someone acting like that with a kid i would wanna torture them and make them serve their time. it just worries me when i have thoughts like this. i'm 23 and i'm a girl. i feel like someone should take me in the back and shoot me. pedophilia is one of my biggest fucking fears, every time i watch a documentary series on it it breaks my heart and i take it very close to heart.
relax. that's not pedophilia. pedophilia is a sexual attraction to children- not minors, children. prepubescents. someone who's 17 is definitely no longer a child; in almost all the us, they're above the age of consent. barring some rare and very specific medical problems, they are a full sexual being. now, you may feel he's still too young, and that's fine, but think back to when you were seventeen- you had sexual urges and feelings, didn't you? why would it be any different for him? let the fear go. he's an attractive young man, and your a health young woman; the appeal is natural. in this regard, you are perfectly normal.morally, there is nothing wrong with pedophilia; it's just a feeling. you do not control your feelings, but you do control your actions. it is the action- child molestation- that is reprehensible. not the attraction. it does not harm a person in any way to have others be attracted to them. having sex is a different matter, but you realize that it would be a bad idea in this case, so you don't do it.
A.Thank you for writing. I’m sure this is hard to live with. I think you keep having the fantasies because at some point they worked for you. You are a sensitive young woman who has a strong moral compass.

In 7th grade, you knew you had done something wrong and earned the reprimand. But, being you, you couldn’t let it go. You felt so bad about it that you went over it and over it. Crying may have relieved some of the intense feelings of shame and perhaps anger that went with thinking about what happened. If it had stopped there, it would have been an unfortunate reaction to a very usual piece of mischief that kids do.

But being as concerned as you are with right and wrong, any time since then that you have felt accused or reprimanded, it has reminded you of that first time when you were not only wrong but humiliated for it. Your unconscious self then also remembered that crying gave you some relief.

I suspect the “lesson” generalized and you started to cry any time you needed relief from stress. Stress just comes with being a teen so there was probably reason to look for some relief every day. But then you end up feeling bad that you feel bad. That must feel terrible!

Unfortunately, your reaction has become a kind of bad habit. Having practiced it for years, feeling sick or crying is an automatic response to stress.

You need some new ways to handle stress and shame. Maybe you can figure it out yourself but you would probably benefit from seeing a therapist who could give you some new tools and help you practice them. I hope you will consider seeing a licensed therapist to help you with this so you can go forward into adult life with less distressing ways for relieving anxieties and stress.

I wish you well

Dr. Marie

Why Do I Have Abusive Thoughts? hi lg, <br>it&#39;ll be interesting to see ( after the weekend, when most readers will be back ) what other people think of the situation you describe. it sounds as if your parents probably are a bit too strict, but with all they hear and see of the dangers of the world today, one can understand their fears  and its even worse when parents don&#39;t care at all. sometimes they may seem to be hypocritical, when they&#39;re actually trying to get you to avoid mistakes they made. your sister sounds immature and spiteful. what would they think if you said you wanted to see a shrink or counsellor to work on the problems they have identified in your behaviour ? ( that way, it makes it harder for them to object  and indeed these diferent perceptions of what is a "problem") ought to be part of what you&#39;d discuss with a counsellor. be cautious about your overdose idea  apart from the obvious dangers to yourself, it&#39;d surely also give them much sronger grounds for being even stricter, which is the exact opposite of what you want to achieve. @a myfibroteam member 

how nice of you to say that. i, like many others, have asked god why? why am i the one who has this painful, incurable illness? why am i the one with major depressive disorder? why am i the one that was sexually assaulted so many times? why am i the one who has had to take care of my sister’s children, help them pay for their educations, and support them as they navigate the waters of this crazy world we live in? why me? i made a conscious decision a few years ago, when my lifelong emotional scares got out of control, that i would make one of the answers to those questions be “to help others navigate through this thing called life”. if i can help just one person feel less alone, or like someone cares, or like there is hope after all i will have succeed at life. if i can help just one person fight back instead of giving in my life has a purpose. as a result, this normally very private person has gradually learned to be very open. i am not ashamed of the things that happened...disappointed or angry yes but not ashamed. i talk openly about how major depressive disorder has affected my life and how i’ve been able to come to terms with it. i talk openly about close brushes with suicide and what worked to get me back to a better place mentally. i talk a little less openly about the impact sexual assault had on every aspect of my life (that one is harder because i’m still working on some of the emotions and reactions around it). i talk openly about the changes i’m having to make as fibromyalgia makes itself more and more obvious in me. i’m not perfect. i still get angry and upset. i still get frustrated. i still feel hopeless sometimes. i feel all the negative emotions everyone else does but if i can help just one person, i will have a reason for all i’ve gone through. perhaps people on this site are that reason. it is my deepest hope that others don’t have to suffer as i have but, if they have, i want to use my god-given caregiver heart to help them through. 

may god bless and keep you. 

shirley What do you think of bullying?   

- Bullying awful and horrible. It's really hard to get over the bullying and try to move on. Bullying causes so many problems and a lot of people develop mental health problems like depression, stress, anxiety and they lead to self harm, have suicidal thoughts and even take their own lives. Bullying is horrible and nobody deserves to be bullied.   

  

Were you bullied, or were you the bully?   

- Yes, I was bullied for 5 years and I suffered from physical and emotional bullying. They spat at me, called me names, punched me in the stomach and beat me up. It was the worst point in my life and it led me to suffer from depression   

  

Why do you think people bully?   

- They are evil. They're jealous and are pathetic   

  

xoxo with a therapist or psychologist that you trust. such a person will help you sort out what is making you think you were abused and feelings associated with this idea and how this affects you life today. you can find a psychologist close to you here: locator.apa.org find someone who knows about sexual abuse and who you like and who feels safe. see more... A.  You are right to be concerned. It sounds like your daughter has been increasingly isolating herself. Although successful in that she goes to school, her friendship circle is very limited for someone her age. Although it’s not unusual for people to talk through problems or to review their day with themselves in the privacy of the bathroom or their own room, your report that she may be punishing herself by screaming and slapping isn’t typical or okay.


Sometimes our kids can’t tell us what is troubling them so they consciously or unconsciously leave hints around so that we’ll find them. Kids sometimes “accidentally” leave a diary open where we’ll find it or “accidentally” leave a distressing email open on the family computer, for example. It’s their way of sending out a distress signal without having to quite take responsibility for doing so.



I’m guessing your daughter’s lengthy time in the bathroom is something like that. On some level she knows that you will be concerned about a two-hour stay in there.


It’s past time for you to respond to the signal. Find a therapist who specializes in young adults. Ask your doctor for a referral or click on the “Find Help” tab on the PsychCentral homepage. There may also be a behavioral health clinic at her college. Brief the therapist on the phone and ask for some guidance about how to get your daughter to go in. (Sometimes it’s helpful if a parent goes to part of the first session.) 


Then, in a loving way, let your daughter know how concerned you are. Tell her that you know that she is upset and that you want to help. Reassure her that she doesn’t deserve to be punished by herself or by anyone else – no matter what. Insist that she see the counselor. Tell her you are willing to go with her. Don’t argue. Don’t get mad. Stay in that loving, concerned place.


[Parenting](https://psychcentral.com/lib/category/parenting/) doesn’t end because a child is at the age to start leaving home. We all have to figure out when to let go and when to still pull the “parent card.” In this situation, your daughter is telling you without words that she needs you to be a mom. Please follow through. She sounds like she really needs help.


I wish you well.  

Dr. Marie


Daughter Talks to Herself anything on the internet can corrupt children. unfortunately parent can't always police what their children look at. since you're an adult, you can report it to child services, as child endangerment for your sister. he is a threat to her well being. the problems with that are 1) she could be put in foster care 2) they may not do anything. 
i'm not sure how much the police would do, considering he is a minor, but they might require him to go through anger management. i think they would do something because he is abusing and harassing your family, especially your little sister. i think that no matter what, you need to take this to someone outside of the family, seeing as your family won't step in. whether it be a counselor, the police or child services, someone needs to step in for both your family and his sake. as he gets older, this could escalate, and he could end up actually killing someone. he needs help. 
if you actually think he might kill you, you for sure need to do something and soon. 
i am so sorry you are in this situation.
i pray all things work out for the best of everyone and that there are no more injuries help. the starting point is a comprehensive psychological assessment. talking therapy is important. cognitive behavioral therapy can be very effective. you may need medications. if you have active thoughts about killing yourself with a plan - then you need to be seen asap at the nearest emergency room. there is hope. you are worthy of getting excellent treatment. see more... this is absolutely clasic and typical obsessive-compulsive disorder. see a good local psychiatrist for a full assessment and assistance. drugs like nuzak can help, and also cbt style counselling. fortunately this is very successfully treatable, and so you can get it cleared up without extra delay.