How do I get over my ex girlfriend?



 I've always had an issue with letting go after its all said and done. Always thinking about what i coul've said or done to make it better and i just get stuck in my head too much lol. I broke up October because she wasn't a very pleasant person, month passed and i tried to go back because i figured being with her is better than having no one but she had already hopped onto someone new like she does so skillfully. But every day i still think about her i still miss her i still love her. i just want to move on with my life and find someone new but after the experience i had with this person its like all my confidence left and it feels like she's the only person who was ever going to like me in the first place even though she eventually moved on. I dont even know how to talk to girls anymore i spent so much time trying to stay away from them so i didn't piss my ex off that now im pretty sure i come off as creepy because i won't even go as far as introducing myself it feels like theyre gonna think i suck at life or im just lame. I want to get passed this and be done with that part of my life so does anybody have any advice on how i can get my confidence back up and get myself back out there? Even just advice on how to come to terms with the fact that its all over would be soooo much appriciated. Breakups are tough whem you loved somebody a lot and it kinda turned my world upside down
Getting over someone takes time. It can either range from a day to several years depending on the person. Of course I can’t say that it’ll be easy, but the first step is to let go and accept that she isn’t a part of your life anymore and she was just the practice relationship to your next one which will last a last time if you must. Know that you will both care for each other, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be hung up on her. Remember the five stages of grief and be aware of which stage you are in - this sadness won’t last forever, it’ll just lead to a happier future
that friend zone is bs mate. the best relationships are many times with someone you are familiar to and really great friends with. my girlfriend now is my best friend and was before we started to date. at first she wasn't sure; so we took it slow. but now we are very much so in love. i wouldn't change anything about how we got together; i wouldn't want to be with anyone else. you two are great friends? all you can do is be there for her; and tell her your honest feelings. this may be awkward and hard to do; but if you really like her it is worth the risk. nobody ever got anywhere important without risking big things. if she doesn't reciprocate these feelings all hope isn't lost; if she is that important to you where you cant move on then don't give up. she may see you in a different light knowing you would not give up on her. meaning if she says no; don't just go for what you can get next. keep to it for a while; months; years even depending on your connection, i waited 5 months until she actually gave us a chance, i told her straightforward that i was the man for her and would prove it to her. all in all it will be worth it because you'd be staying true to yourself. friend zones don't exist; there's just compatible people and non compatible. a friend zone is something people put themselves in when they give up; or when they give up after being told they are like a brother to the girl. don't give up and you will be something different to her; if but a way closer friend than before because your feelings and how much you care for her will be monumentally greater than she realized before hand. A. It is not uncommon for people to have had a few intimate relationships by their late 20s. My guess is that you being a virgin and her having had experience in relationships is at the root of your concern. It is hard to imagine something we have not experienced.

That having been said it is important to note that at this stage of life it is unlikely that you will meet anyone that has not had a past romantic relationship. I would focus on the here and now you have with her. Here is what you have said:

1. She has stopped contact with others. This is a very good sign of her intention and commitment.
2. She has described her relationships in a way that makes sense – meaning that she was not in love and maintained them because she wanted options.
3. Her relationship with you has changed her thoughts and feelings about herself and what she wants.

Taken together this would seem to be a good indication of her commitment and willingness to be a partner with you. Your relationship is new, and this will mean that as you grow together these concerns are likely to take a back seat. Meditation may be an excellent way for you to modulate your feelings and angst about the situation. Over time her commitment to you will dispel these concerns.

Wishing you patience and peace,  
 *Dr. Dan*  
 [*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)

Issue with Girlfriend’s Past what? you have a new girlfriend but wish to marry your ex? i think you need to be alone for a bit and sort your head out. your girlfriend needs to fix things in her head. if she cannot express herself as an adult assertively then move on with your life. yeah, break up with her, so then she can find a guy better than you. dude, are you kidding me? that's how relationships are, theres going to be arguments and sometimes theres going to be insecurities, and if you're not smart enough to realize she just actually really cares, then you should break up with her so she has a chance with a guy that will. your former friend is a toxic hypocrite. stay away from her. we all have our drama queen moments, but she's out of control at this point. she's not some 17 or 18 year old kid, she's a grown woman. if she feels that you were mistreating her in the past, she has a right to be upset, but she should talk to you about it in a mature and calm manner, not attack you about it now. but really, she's being hypocritical about mistreatment, when she's been the one embarrassing you in front of other people. i recommend that you continue to go on a separate course. you haven't spoken in a month, it seems that she's moving on with her life, move on with yours. every friendship has struggles, but for her to constantly attack you at this age is just dumb. you don't need that kind of stress. best of luck to you 😊 A.  I am deeply moved by your situation and understand the devastation following a desertion. Trying to understand his motivation and lack of caring re-injures you emotionally. No matter how many times you try to understand this story of betrayal it will leave you empty. This is a time to reclaim yourself and reconnect with those who love you — and whose care can fill you up. Building a network of social support takes some doing. Asking for help, expressing gratitude toward those who have extended their kindness, and immersing in the best self-care practices you can will help you feel better.


Thoughts determine the direction of our feelings and behavior. If you dwell on him you are turning your thoughts toward more difficult and unsatisfying feelings. Focusing on what you need and the loving people in your life will be better way to go.



Wishing you patience and peace,  

*Dr. Dan*  

[*Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral*](http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/danielt/)


Struggling to Accept that He Doesn’t Care about Me have you considered couple counseling? this would help to work on the problems that made you separate to begin with...it sounds like you both still love each other... and perhaps the separation has done the relationship some good, in making you both appreciate each other more... if you really want to know if its for real ask her to go to counseling with you... if shes serious about working on the relationship and getting back together.... she will definitely go! you both need to be more open about your feelings, and take the emotional risk if you want it to work out...best wishes!!!!!!!!! @a myfibroteam member 

how nice of you to say that. i, like many others, have asked god why? why am i the one who has this painful, incurable illness? why am i the one with major depressive disorder? why am i the one that was sexually assaulted so many times? why am i the one who has had to take care of my sister’s children, help them pay for their educations, and support them as they navigate the waters of this crazy world we live in? why me? i made a conscious decision a few years ago, when my lifelong emotional scares got out of control, that i would make one of the answers to those questions be “to help others navigate through this thing called life”. if i can help just one person feel less alone, or like someone cares, or like there is hope after all i will have succeed at life. if i can help just one person fight back instead of giving in my life has a purpose. as a result, this normally very private person has gradually learned to be very open. i am not ashamed of the things that happened...disappointed or angry yes but not ashamed. i talk openly about how major depressive disorder has affected my life and how i’ve been able to come to terms with it. i talk openly about close brushes with suicide and what worked to get me back to a better place mentally. i talk a little less openly about the impact sexual assault had on every aspect of my life (that one is harder because i’m still working on some of the emotions and reactions around it). i talk openly about the changes i’m having to make as fibromyalgia makes itself more and more obvious in me. i’m not perfect. i still get angry and upset. i still get frustrated. i still feel hopeless sometimes. i feel all the negative emotions everyone else does but if i can help just one person, i will have a reason for all i’ve gone through. perhaps people on this site are that reason. it is my deepest hope that others don’t have to suffer as i have but, if they have, i want to use my god-given caregiver heart to help them through. 

may god bless and keep you. 

shirley maybe, if she has a self-esteem problem. in the end what you'll get is lots of cuts and bruises, and a bad sexual experience that makes you feel embarrassed every time you think about it for the rest of your life.