does achieving more success throughout your personal life change the dynamic of the group of people you hangout with the most? coworkers and?
family included.
probably. however, achieving more success would probably attract more fake people in your life than you might actually think. if you fall rock bottom at some point, those people will disappear and you’ll be all by yourself again. so if i were to become more successful and increase my financial status. i’d stay solo.

the rest of the people who somehow fly to me like bees on a honeycomb can pretty much fück off.

if you weren’t with or didn’t like me from before. don’t come near me now.
sounds like my friend rushing to build a family a keep telling him to relax it takes a life time to build a family rushing in does not help and you end up with a bad relationship but he still does not learn i just had a real heart to heart explaining this to him a hope i got across. with your situation you will find that more with older guys who are already at the point of settling down you will see that more with older people who are in a stable job have a home and are basically preparing to start a family or have already had a family you see this with guys that have kids and or never grew up in a complete family themselves so are rushing to create one for themselves as it's what they missed out on as a child A. It’s difficult to assess the seriousness of this on the basis of only a letter so let me just share a couple of thoughts.

People by nature tend to fall somewhere on a scale from introvert to extrovert. It may be that at least part of this is that you are on the introvert end of the scale. There is nothing wrong with that! But, the larger culture celebrates extroverts. In high school, the general idea is that everyone is supposed to be outgoing and popular. Of course, not everyone can be. Not everyone wants to be. So let’s at least assume that part of what goes on is that you have a more restrained approach to life. One thing that supports this is that you do have a couple of close friends and that seems to be enough for you.

As for being out with others: I wonder if you have developed the skills you need to be comfortable out in the social world. Introverts can and do learn how to manage social situations enough so that they can be successful in their careers and can find loving relationships. Notice that I said “skills”. Skills are behaviors you can learn (like how to make small talk, how to be an active listener, how to be a good communicator, etc.). As you get more practiced in these skills, you will be more comfortable being with people for longer periods of time. But you will still need your alone time to “recover” from a lot of social interaction.

The line in your letter that does worry me is your statement that you can spend hours holed up in your room and in bed. Yes, you may need time to recharge your social batteries but it would do a lot more for your self-esteem if you would use that time to pursue an interest or to do something to make the world a better place. Think about ways to support a cause or candidate or to educate yourself about something you are genuinely interested in. You will feel better about yourself than if you just hang out wondering if there is something wrong with you. An important bonus is that it will give you more to talk about when you are with people.

I hope this is helpful. I wish you well.  
 Dr. Marie

I Want or Need to Be Alone tuesday, april 5, 2016 chapter 12 leadership and follower-ship 80%-85% are followers 15%-20% are leaders - leadership - process of guiding and directing the behavior of people in the work environment • formal leadership - ofﬁcially sanctioned leadership based on the authority of a formal position • informal leadership - unofﬁcial leadership accorded to a person by other members of the organization - management and leadership • management - planning and budgeting - organizing and stafﬁng - controlling and problem solving • leadership - setting a direction for the organization - aligning people with that direction - motivating people - early trait theories • distinguished leaders by - physical attraction - personality characteristics - abilities (speech ﬂuency, social skills, insight) �1 
 tuesday, april 5, 2016 - behavioral theorists - learning what behavior is strengthened or weakened by applying consequences or rewards • lewin on leadership - autocratic style - the leader uses strong, directive actions to control the rules, regulations, activities, and relationships in the work environment - democratic style - the leader uses interaction and collaboration with followers to direct the work and work environment - laissez-faire style - the leader has a hands-off approach ohio state studies • - initiating structure - leader behavior aimed at deﬁning and organizing work relationships and roles; establishing clear patterns of organization, communication and ways of getting things done - consideration - leader behavior aimed at nurturing friendly, warm working relationships, as well as encouraging mutual trust and interpersonal respect within the work unit • michigan studies - production-oriented leader • focus - getting things done • uses direct, close supervision • many written an unwritten rules - employee-oriented leader • focus - relationships • less direct, close supervision • fewer written or unwritten rules • displays concern for people and their needs - leadership grid - an approach to understanding a leader’s or manager’s concern for results (production) and concern for people �2 
 tuesday, april 5, 2016 figure 12.1: the leadership grid - organization man (5,5) - a middle-of-the-road leader �3 
 tuesday, april 5, 2016 - authority compliance manager (9,1) - a leader who emphasizes efﬁcient production - country club manager (1,0) - a leader who has great concern for people and little concern for production, attempts to avoid conﬂict, and seeks to be well liked �4 
 tuesday, april 5, 2016 - team manager (9,9) - a leader who builds a highly productive team of committed people - impoverished manager (1,1) - a leader who exerts just enough effort to get by (1,1) should be on the bottom left of grid - paternalistic “father knows best” manager (9+9) - a leader who promises reward and threatens punishment �5 
 tuesday, april 5, 2016 - opportunistic “what’s in it for me” manager (opp) - a leader whose style aims to maximize self-beneﬁt - fiedler’s contingency theory - ﬁt between leader’s need structure and favorableness of leader’s situation determine the team’s effectiveness • least preferred coworker (lpc) - single person leader has least preferred to work with - high lpc - leaders who describe lpc in positive terms - low lpc - leaders who describe lpc in negative terms - situation favorableness • task structure - number of rules, regulations, and procedures one likes to have in order to get the work done position power - legitimate authority given by organization that person belong to • - being able to grant rewards or punishments • leader-member relations - how leader interacts with coworkers and subordinates �6 
 tuesday, april 5, 2016 - path-goal theory of leadership • a - vroom-yetten-jago normative decision model • decide - can make the decision on their own without the opinion of anyone else • consult individually - person goes around and tells each person the situation and asks for their input • consult group - discuss the issue as a whole and asks for the groups input • facilitate - calls group together as a group consult, but the leader also puts in their input and the group makes a decision together • delegate - has the group discuss it alone without the leader and they make a decision together manager should use the decision method most appropriate for a given situation �7 
 tuesday, april 5, 2016 - the situational leadership model - leader-member exchange • leaders form two groups of followers - in-groups (inner circle) • members similar to leader • given greater responsibilities, rewards, attention • within leader’s inner circle of communication • high job satisfaction and organizational commitment, low turnover • stress from added responsibilities - out-groups (outer circle) • managed by formal rules and policies �8 
 tuesday, april 5, 2016 • given less attention; fewer rewards • outside the leader’s communication circle • more likely to retaliate against the organization • stress from being left out of the communication network - inspirational leadership theories • transformational leadership - inspire and excite followers to high level of performance • charismatic leadership - use the force of personal abilities and talents to have profound effects on followers • authentic leadership - have a conscious and well-developed sense of values and act in ways that are consistent to their value system - emotional intelligence - ability to recognize and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others figure 12.6: five types of followers - alienated • they’re passive in their behavior, they don’t have enough guts to stand up or challenge the panel that is speaking to the group • they do have their own opinions and ideas - sheep • group of people who ﬂock together that do not think independently or critically - effective follower • the group companies would like to see more of • they contribute to the company, work harder and smarter for the company, and are willing to contribute ideas to the company - yes people • people that are active in the company and are considered hard workers • committed to the company but are willing to be followers, and do not think for themselves �9 
 tuesday, april 5, 2016 - survivors • a person that somehow always chooses the best solution when faced with a crisis or challenge int the workplace • can recognize problems that are coming in the future much faster than the average person • make low risk decisions when recognizing the problem that’s coming • “better safe than sorry” �10 well this happened to me (a bit younger at first and then a five year break before continuing) and it's made me distrusting of people, especially boys or people i date. it made me feel like they saw me as easy, and even now i feel like i am. i'm mostly normal (with some side effects from the memories) but i really have problems with people flirting and giving me compliments it depends on both but i guess at first everyone pay attention to looks. it all varies depending on the team.if you’re close to production, pressure is high. outside of this there are a lot of variation, but in general people are working a lot. this is not really that there are explicit pressure to work long hours but many are very committed , and i think that when you are joining a team you’re more likely to pick up the same rythme.in terms of compensation, it depends on the role / the team and how much they want you after the on-site, but they will in general align on other offers you may have (from google/fb/apple/amazon/...) believe me... you’re never the only gay at work 😉 it's also important to consider the strengths and weaknesses of your personality / work style. mf credit arms will behave more like banking/pe where you work in deal teams, iterative processes, and driving towards pushing out a collective work product. personalities tend to be much more conformist, clean cut, vanilla professionals that are competent enough but nothing special.
independent hfs have much less structure, although this is obviously a broad generalization. much more likely that you will have people that are somewhat of misfits socially, weird, and have hard edges. i had an interesting path. after law school i worked for the law firm of herbert kalmbach, nixon's personal atty ... then worked in the middle east ... i later was the deputy undersecretary of the dept of the interior ... went to work for the bass family ... struck out on my own with money from the bass family ... fast forward to today and i run a $25b portfolio. it took time but it's been an enjoyable ride. when you hit puberty you will begin to catch up with your friends and in fact you may become taller than them in the long-term.<br><br>be patient with yourself, trust your body to begin growing when its ready.