what to do if i think i was sexually abused as a child but i can't remember it?
with a therapist or psychologist that you trust. such a person will help you sort out what is making you think you were abused and feelings associated with this idea and how this affects you life today. you can find a psychologist close to you here: locator.apa.org find someone who knows about sexual abuse and who you like and who feels safe. see more...
move on and get over it. try calling famsa, which can suggest a number of counsellors in your area, and has some knowledge of costs, and which can make some adjustment according to earnings. i&#39;d also recommend that you seek a counsellor who will deal with all your current problems, and avoid one that would wan to focus too exclusively on abuse issues  they too often are too busy riding their own hobby-horse that they dont&#39; deal so well with your needs guilt is rarely a useful response after one has recognized that whatever one did was indeed wrong - the valuable response is then to go on and work out why it was wrong, what to learn from it, and how to avoid doing that again. 
<br/>loneliness is tough, and our society isn't kind to lonely people. and the media ( songs, tv, etc., sells to us an image of lerv that few of us achieve and which isn't actually as practical, easy and desirable as they represent it as. at least phone sex, so long as you limit it to that, is safe sex. 
<br/>work on developing friendships, at work, at church, through voluntary work, hobbies, whatever, and be open to the possibility of love when it turns up. 
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<br/> A.Thank you for writing. I’m sure this is hard to live with. I think you keep having the fantasies because at some point they worked for you. You are a sensitive young woman who has a strong moral compass.

In 7th grade, you knew you had done something wrong and earned the reprimand. But, being you, you couldn’t let it go. You felt so bad about it that you went over it and over it. Crying may have relieved some of the intense feelings of shame and perhaps anger that went with thinking about what happened. If it had stopped there, it would have been an unfortunate reaction to a very usual piece of mischief that kids do.

But being as concerned as you are with right and wrong, any time since then that you have felt accused or reprimanded, it has reminded you of that first time when you were not only wrong but humiliated for it. Your unconscious self then also remembered that crying gave you some relief.

I suspect the “lesson” generalized and you started to cry any time you needed relief from stress. Stress just comes with being a teen so there was probably reason to look for some relief every day. But then you end up feeling bad that you feel bad. That must feel terrible!

Unfortunately, your reaction has become a kind of bad habit. Having practiced it for years, feeling sick or crying is an automatic response to stress.

You need some new ways to handle stress and shame. Maybe you can figure it out yourself but you would probably benefit from seeing a therapist who could give you some new tools and help you practice them. I hope you will consider seeing a licensed therapist to help you with this so you can go forward into adult life with less distressing ways for relieving anxieties and stress.

I wish you well

Dr. Marie

Why Do I Have Abusive Thoughts? relax. that's not pedophilia. pedophilia is a sexual attraction to children- not minors, children. prepubescents. someone who's 17 is definitely no longer a child; in almost all the us, they're above the age of consent. barring some rare and very specific medical problems, they are a full sexual being. now, you may feel he's still too young, and that's fine, but think back to when you were seventeen- you had sexual urges and feelings, didn't you? why would it be any different for him? let the fear go. he's an attractive young man, and your a health young woman; the appeal is natural. in this regard, you are perfectly normal.morally, there is nothing wrong with pedophilia; it's just a feeling. you do not control your feelings, but you do control your actions. it is the action- child molestation- that is reprehensible. not the attraction. it does not harm a person in any way to have others be attracted to them. having sex is a different matter, but you realize that it would be a bad idea in this case, so you don't do it. well my advice is to quit the fraternity/sorority immediately. take some english classes and learn to write. and stop letting some childish little club dictate who you can have a relationship with. have him quit too. if he won't forget him and move on. well this happened to me (a bit younger at first and then a five year break before continuing) and it's made me distrusting of people, especially boys or people i date. it made me feel like they saw me as easy, and even now i feel like i am. i'm mostly normal (with some side effects from the memories) but i really have problems with people flirting and giving me compliments You need to hire a lawyer immediately. The police could be interrogating him and he can be confessing to serious crimes how to recover? first stop degrading yourself. then stop associating yourself with negativity. then start associating yourself with positivity. then start building your confidence and accept the fact that the good women don't care about height and looks and disorders. realize that a good woman will love you for you, and go about being a positive member of society. if you keep your current state of mind, there is no hope. because you are actually good looking and really not even short. just regular like everyone else. good luck! since you're an adult, you can report it to child services, as child endangerment for your sister. he is a threat to her well being. the problems with that are 1) she could be put in foster care 2) they may not do anything. 
i'm not sure how much the police would do, considering he is a minor, but they might require him to go through anger management. i think they would do something because he is abusing and harassing your family, especially your little sister. i think that no matter what, you need to take this to someone outside of the family, seeing as your family won't step in. whether it be a counselor, the police or child services, someone needs to step in for both your family and his sake. as he gets older, this could escalate, and he could end up actually killing someone. he needs help. 
if you actually think he might kill you, you for sure need to do something and soon. 
i am so sorry you are in this situation.
i pray all things work out for the best of everyone and that there are no more injuries