I have no life, no friends and live a sad, useless existence. Is there any reason to stay alive?



Honestly, if I crawled into a corner and died tomorrow, nobody would care. My life consists of going to college, studying and going home and sitting in my room. I have such a pathetic life. I have no friends that I really talk to anymore, and I have no social life whatsoever. I turn 21 next year and probably...
Life is what we make of it, so it is really YOU yourself who give your life a purpose. If you feel you need friends, go out and make friends. If this is difficult for you, look up for ways to make friends. There are many sites that give good tips. If you think you need to pep up your life, go out, get a hobby, try something new, be brave and explore. You will not change your life if you don't try.Ultimately, it is down to you to make the effort to do something about it. Sometimes the best way to feel cared for is to go out there and share your love with people (that's why people who volunteer at old folks' homes, shelters or orphanages find joy in what they do - the more love they give, the more loved they feel).   

  

But having a busy social life and having thousands of friends will not make you happier or less pathetic. Try to rethink your values on what is 'pathetic'. Whose values and perspectives are you basing your assumptions on? Who's to say your life is pathetic? Some people have very few friends and don't go out much and can still enjoy their lives because they acknowledge that they don't need to be part of the crowd to be happy or have fulfilling lives.   

  

Also, if you still have family who give you food and shelter and don't abuse you, it's unfair to say nobody cares.
A. It’s difficult to assess the seriousness of this on the basis of only a letter so let me just share a couple of thoughts.

People by nature tend to fall somewhere on a scale from introvert to extrovert. It may be that at least part of this is that you are on the introvert end of the scale. There is nothing wrong with that! But, the larger culture celebrates extroverts. In high school, the general idea is that everyone is supposed to be outgoing and popular. Of course, not everyone can be. Not everyone wants to be. So let’s at least assume that part of what goes on is that you have a more restrained approach to life. One thing that supports this is that you do have a couple of close friends and that seems to be enough for you.

As for being out with others: I wonder if you have developed the skills you need to be comfortable out in the social world. Introverts can and do learn how to manage social situations enough so that they can be successful in their careers and can find loving relationships. Notice that I said “skills”. Skills are behaviors you can learn (like how to make small talk, how to be an active listener, how to be a good communicator, etc.). As you get more practiced in these skills, you will be more comfortable being with people for longer periods of time. But you will still need your alone time to “recover” from a lot of social interaction.

The line in your letter that does worry me is your statement that you can spend hours holed up in your room and in bed. Yes, you may need time to recharge your social batteries but it would do a lot more for your self-esteem if you would use that time to pursue an interest or to do something to make the world a better place. Think about ways to support a cause or candidate or to educate yourself about something you are genuinely interested in. You will feel better about yourself than if you just hang out wondering if there is something wrong with you. An important bonus is that it will give you more to talk about when you are with people.

I hope this is helpful. I wish you well.  
 Dr. Marie

I Want or Need to Be Alone At your age, it's tough because girls (and young people on a whole) are so fixated on things like physical appearance and social standing among peers. These are things that become less important as you get even just barely older, particularly the latter as no 22+ year old cares if you're "popular". That said, just work on your dating and conversation skills. Find some really fat, ugly girl and take her out on dates. The whole time, act like she's the most beautiful, most interesting girl you've ever met. Come up with things to talk about, jokes to say, and places to take her. All this refinement will come in handy when you hit your stride and the girls you take out find that you're just more interesting and fun than all the other guys that they've gone out with. It'll work, I promise. i've flirted with it before. i didn't get much interest. just women that i'm, to be politically uncorrect, way out of their league, at least in terms of the logistics of dating. all the women that i was interested in and messaged, didn't respond. actually what i'd say was going on is this. firstly you need to be aware of the psychology of it, and how peoples' minds work. ie, if you have forlorn selfies, one or two of you pondering the nature of existence in your bedroom, you're not going to get many bites from women. women can get away with being aloof and beautiful like that. men typically have to portray a more social and outgoing image, least that's what i imagine. if you can project the image of social power, then you're going to attract more of it. and i'm sort of eluding to the tragedy of dating websites and dating in general, and their 'unnaturalness'. it's all very calculated, and hardly dreamy romantic if one is check-boxing all the time. there's a lot of tragic people on there, trying to find a means to desperately get away from their tragedy and find that validation or quick thrill they are seeking. like all things, it's a question of intent. what are you true motivations. if one goes there, with innocent eyes, wholeheartedly, and is not there to deceive any body, or escape from anything, then of course, it's just another medium to meet people. the whole hearted thing is important. actually uploading a decent set of photos, putting some thought into your profile, etc. what you put in, you get out, it's not just a case of being there. the same applies to going to social gatherings in general. go to the same event, and make the effort to talk to people and be open, and one will get dramatically different results. also, i think on the positive, it can expand the potentiality of the people you can meet manifold. there's lots of interesting people out there. i really think it's like social media in general. it just fans, positive or negative, what you are already doing. of course, one could make a deeper argument about conscious control in the first place. we think we have conscious control of the happenings around us, but really, conscious 'control' is the mind's means of deluding us into thinking that we're not working to the subconscious forces within us. the truth about my 'rejections' were, i wasn't really into it, i was just playing... sort of, if you're feeling me, to make this more 'down' and gag friendly. help. the starting point is a comprehensive psychological assessment. talking therapy is important. cognitive behavioral therapy can be very effective. you may need medications. if you have active thoughts about killing yourself with a plan - then you need to be seen asap at the nearest emergency room. there is hope. you are worthy of getting excellent treatment. see more... i entered with no major (the "no major" option in community college is "liberal arts"). then, i majored in film after finishing the gen ed courses and going to university. (yeah, i knew it was risky, but i figured i didn't want to regret what i chose in college and wanted a career i could enjoy more than a safe bet.) after six months, i realized that film school is very stupid. but also, they're full of super-woke lefties, so i got the f*ck outta there.i switched my major to english; which is a more employable, more broad version of the same thing. i always wanted to be a writer and producer (still do; honestly; i've written a lot and come up with many show ideas). you can get a job as an entertainment writer with an english degree, but also do so much more. i was wrongfully expelled from my first university and spent three years in a lawsuit against them, which messed up my rate of getting a degree by a lot. i had to start most of my classes all over again in a new university while waiting on the lawsuit. by the time the lawsuit settled out of court for a measly $43,000 (which had a stipulation in it that all of that had to go towards school and tuition; i couldn't get to keep anything for myself), i graduated, and went for my masters in english for another two years. i only just got my masters in may of 2019. so i switched my major twice. now i'm a teacher in korea with a masters in english. i don't regret it, but the unjustified expulsion and lawsuit really f*cked up my path in life by three years. never settle for less than you deserve in life. you will never be satisfied or happy with the results. jumping back into your familiar pattern will just prolong pain and hurt, and prolong the feeling of loneliness. settle for what you want and what makes you happy, afterall, you are the only one that has to live with that decision. it will save you a lot of trouble and heartaches in the long run. don't settle for less than what you want and deserve. make yourself happy... not anyone else. if you pursue what you want and deserve you will be happier and won't be lonely... you can replace loneliness with happiness and not live in a life filled with discomfort any longer, if you don't accept anything other than no.1, as your standard. accept you are worthy of happiness and you deserve to be happy, not lonely and spinning your wheels. HM ok, another day, another try, but I gotta say: The seemingly endless lessons about numbers and numbers on top of numbers and more numbers are really disencouraging me a lot. It's been a lot of fun up to this point, but I really don't see the point in filling out so much about numbers for the sake of numbers o\_o Could you, like, do a little less of that? guilt is rarely a useful response after one has recognized that whatever one did was indeed wrong - the valuable response is then to go on and work out why it was wrong, what to learn from it, and how to avoid doing that again. 
<br/>loneliness is tough, and our society isn't kind to lonely people. and the media ( songs, tv, etc., sells to us an image of lerv that few of us achieve and which isn't actually as practical, easy and desirable as they represent it as. at least phone sex, so long as you limit it to that, is safe sex. 
<br/>work on developing friendships, at work, at church, through voluntary work, hobbies, whatever, and be open to the possibility of love when it turns up. 
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<br/> Your time hasn't come yet. No need to be discouraged. Use this time to grow and learn about yourself. Read to uplift and encourage yourself. Dont compare your life to others because you aren't meant to be like the next person every individuals have diff way of coping , some people can't be happy without someone on their side or sometimes they are sad and wants to be around people. Some people are not strong enough emo and mentally to be alone so they want something to be busy about rather than thinking about the break up but some people just dont feel pain or just ignore the pain.