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Jane: What's the fuss? Cho: Slept through Lisbon's briefing in the van, didn't you? Jane: Like a baby. Cho: Yeah, the victim's name is Kristin Marley. She worked at the state capitol for some lady senator, went missing three days ago. Rumor is she was having an affair with the senator's husband. Rigsby: My bet-she's a jumper. Van Pelt: I hope not. Cho: If she's a jumper, job's done. Rigsby: Yeah, the senator's husband dumps her, she wants to make him feel bad, she comes out here... Splat. Van Pelt: Don't talk that way. Rigsby: Okay, not splat. Bam. Van Pelt: There's nothing worse than suicide. Human life is sacred. When someone takes their own life, it's a tragedy. Lisbon: Sacramento P. D.'s handing the case over to us. Let's go talk to the coroner. Shall I recap the case, sleepyhead? Jane: Kristin Marley- lady senator's aide, rumored romance with the senator's husband. Lisbon: Very good. Jane: Oh, I trained myself to hear and take in information while asleep. Lisbon: The others told you? Jane: Yes, they did. Coroner: At this point, there's no way to determine what happened to the victim, agent Lisbon. I-I simply can't help you. Lisbon: Well, can you tell how long she's been dead? Coroner: I couldn't possibly, given the evidence available. Lisbon: Do you think it was a homicide or a suicide? Coroner: Couldn't say. Jane: What's your guess? Coroner: I'm not in the habit of-of guessing. Please don't touch the decedent. You-you-you detectives always want the instant answers. What I do is science. Science will uncover the truth, but she will be precise, methodical and take her time before she renders her decision. Rigsby: I wonder if science can remove the stick from his butt. Coroner: I heard that. Jane: You're right. We want facts. Fortunately, we have them. Coroner: Oh, we do? Jane: In abundance. Coroner: You're the consultant that pretends to read minds, aren't you? Jane: No. I don't pretend to read minds. I do read minds. But don't we all? Look at lisbon. You can see what she's thinking. Lisbon: No kidding. Jane: And I can see what you're thinking right now. Coroner: Uh, i-i was thinking that you, sir, are a bumptious fool, and I was wondering exactly what training in forensic pathology you have. Jane: Ah, but right before that, you were wondering whether you would choose Lisbon or Van Pelt as your concubine in that little fantasy kingdom you like to go to sometimes. Coroner: I... I do not. Jane: Oh, and-and you're right. I-I know nothing of forensic pathology. But agent Van Pelt- she might offer her theory. Van Pelt: Or I might not. Jane: Look at her feet. Van Pelt: I did. Jane: And what question presents itself? Van Pelt: Where's her other shoe? Jane: Exactly. Cho: It wasn't up on the bridge. Rigsby: It could be in her car. Lisbon: Even if it was, why would she walk to the middle of the bridge with one shoe on? Why would she do that? Jane: Bingo! Lisbon: There's no need to be patronizing. Van Pelt: So she must have been carried. She didn't kill herself. She was murdered, then dropped over. Rigsby: Or thrown over still alive. Better than suicide. Jane: Yes. Coroner: It's... A theory. Jane: It's lovely to meet you, doc. You're a horse's ass, but you mean well. I'll be in the van. Lisbon: My apologies, sir. Cho, tell the Sacramento P. D. That it's a homicide. Rigsby, Van Pelt, see what the sheriff's department got in their investigation. Rigsby: All right. Dede: Kristin had been interning here for about nine months. She came in at the start of the last session, right out of college. I liked her. She was sweet, young-in a good way. Lisbon: Who did she work for? Dede: Senator Melinda Batson. She's an up-and-comer from the central valley. Please put that down. Lisbon: Anything to the rumor that Kristin was having an affair with batson's husband? Dede: Elliott Batson- he's Melinda's chief of staff. We've heard the rumors. Everyone denies it. There's no evidence anything happened. Lisbon: The media seem to think there is. Dede: You want to get me started on what they believe? Frankly, when you've worked here as long as I have, you hear a lot of stories about wild behavior. Most of them aren't true. Jane: Except the ones that are. Sorry. Lisbon: Hello? Jane: Hello? Hello? Hello? Melinda: I've issued a statement, and I'm not taking any questions. Lisbon: We're not press. We're CBI. Agent Teresa Lisbon, Patrick Jane. Melinda: Right. Sorry. You called. Melinda Batson. This is my husband Elliott. Elliott: Hi. Tough day around here. Jane: Is this Kristin's desk? Melinda: Yes. Come inside. Lisbon: Jane. Care to join us? Jane: I'll be right there. Lisbon: Anything unusual aboutKKristin's behavior the day she disappeared? Elliott: No, she was, uh, cheerful. Finished work, left at 6:00, I think, uh... Melinda: A little after 6:00. Elliott: After 6:00 then. Lisbon: Did she say where she was going? Melinda: No. Elliott: No. Meinda: She... Was having trouble with her family. Elliott: It was her stepmother, right? Melinda: Her natural parents are dead, and for some reason, her stepmother called a bunch of times that day. Lisbon: Did Kristin tell you what it was about? Melinda No. Melinda: No. I-I was surprised. I-I thought they were estranged. Lisbon: What was your relationship to Kristin, Mr. Batson? Melinda: Oh, please. Please. We know where you're going with this. Elliott: Melinda, I- Melinda: No, let's just haul the trash out in the open. You want to know if she and Elliott were sleeping together. Lisbon: Were you? Elliott: Never. It's a rumor. That's all. Lisbon: Rumors usually happen for a reason. Elliott: Well... Melinda: I'll give you the reason- politics. You want to take a female politician down a few notches? Throw mud on her marriage. Lisbon: Where were you the night Kristin was killed? Elliott: Here. I was on a conference call with a trade delegation from Taiwan. We talked until after 11:00. Melinda: I was with him the whole time. Elliott: We'll be married three years this october, and... Today's news excepted, uh, we've never been happier. Jane: That's hard to believe. Melinda: What does that mean? Jane: Well, there's nothing going on between you right now. Elliott: Excuse me? What? Jane: I'm sorry. I-I meant sexually, no heat. Right? Melinda: I think we're done here. Jane: You'd think a politician would have thicker skin. Lisbon: You accused them of lying about their s*x life, and you're surprised they're upset? Jane: Oh, come on. You're buying that happy talk? Really? Lisbon: Agent Minelli, sir. Minelli: Agent Lisbon. Walter: I asked him down. Uh, Walter Crew, Melinda Batson's dad. You're agents, uh, Jane and Lisbon? Lisbon: Yeah, we are. Walter: Sorry to track you down like this. I asked Virgil here to introduce me to the team handling the poor Marley girl's case. Minelli: Walter has been a friend of the CBI for some time. He was an extremely influential legislator for what, 20 years? Walter: 26, but who's counting? Anyway, I'm old news now. The only thing I lobby for is a good tee time. Jane: Why the interest in the poor Marley girl's case? Walter: Interest? I liked her. Yeah, met her in Melinda's office. She was good people, came from a tough background- didn't let that stop her. I know how difficult it is to get straight answers from the people in that building there. If you have any problems, you just let me know. I can still knock heads. Lisbon: Oh, we'll be fine. Walter: Just let me know. Virgil. Minelli: Walter. Walter: Take care. Minelli: Sir. I hate walks, Lisbon. I know they're healthy. I don't care. Put me in a chair, I'm a happy man. But when Walter Crew asked me to stroll with him down to the capitol, I say, "of course, Walter. You get my drift? Lisbon: I do. Minelli: Step carefully. I want daily reports. Oh, and, uh, how did the batson interview go? Jane: Oh, that was very exciting. Minelli: What did he do? Lisbon: Nothing that can't be repaired. Carmen: Teresa, nice of you to drop by. Lisbon: I know I'm late. I'm sorry. Carmen: "Late" is an interesting word in this context. You were supposed to be here... 42 minutes ago. Lisbon: I know. The point is, I'm here now. We're supposed to talk, so let's talk. Carmen: I have another patient scheduled in eight minutes. Lisbon: I can talk fast. Carmen: This is the third time you've been late. Lisbon: What can I say? Lot of people getting killed. Can I get a coffee? Carmen: Do you know why counseling is mandatory for CBI agents who've been involved in a shooting? Lisbon: Because nobody would come if it was voluntary? Carmen: And that's what it remains mandatory until I sign and file this form. See you next week. Lisbon: This is unnecessary. I'm fine. I'm not traumatized. Carmen: A man pointed a gun at you, a man who intended to kill you. Lisbon: Fortunately, Jane shot him first. Carmen: It doesn't matter. You went from thinking you were going to be killed to watching a man die- two of the most wrenching experiences we can have- and you went through them in seconds. You don't think that affected you? Lisbon: No. Carmen: You really want to keep seeing me, don't you? Next week, on time. Lisbon: Fine. Jane: There's a stain on the ceiling that looks like Elvis, but today, it looks more like a... Basset hound. Cho: Someone call the media. It's a miracle. Jane: Or maybe someone's moved my couch. Cho? Did you move my couch? Cho: No. Why would i? Jane: Excuse me? Did you move the couch? Art: I had to, uh, change a light. Problem? Jane: No, no, no. Can you help me move it back, please? I got a thing i... Thanks. Just up there. I think it's this way. Just a little. That's it. Let me just try to... Perfect. Thank you. Elvis is back. Lisbon: Anything on the stepmom? Rigsby: Her name's Charlotte Mcadoo. She called Kristin 11 times in the two days before she disappeared. Lisbon: Any idea what that was about? Rigsby: No, but her son Harlan had been picked up on a carJacking charge. He posted bail the day Kristin disappeared, claimed he had nothing to do with the carJacking, said he was with Kristin when it happened. Lisbon: He used Kristin as his alibi? How bad's Harlan? Rigsby: Well, mostly car theft, some assault. Lisbon: What did Charlotte have to say about that? Cho: She won't answer her phone, won't call back. We're heading out to talk to her. Jane: Shouldn't we be looking for Kristin's lover? Van Pelt: Who? Elliott Batson's alibi checked out, and there's no sign she was seeing someone else. We've checked. Jane: Well, not enough. She was an immature romantic looking for escape and adventure. She was having an affair. Lisbon: We searched her place thoroughly. She kept the affair well-hidden. Jane: Well, of course. It's an adventure because it's a secret. But I expect she'll tell us who it was. Lisbon: I'll bite. How? Jane: Check this out. She was a collector. She kept sand from every beach she ever went to. She would have kept a memento of her lover, something small- I bet she kept it in a fancy jewelry box, the kind with a figurine on the lid. Van Pelt: There was a fancy jewelry box like that in her bedroom- a ballerina. Jane: Ballerina-she's the type. Van Pelt: But we checked it. There's nothing in it but cheap jewelry. Jane: Did you check in the secret compartment? Van Pelt: The... Jane: The secret compartment either on the bottom or one of the sides. They usually have one. Lisbon: It's worth taking a look. Van Pelt: Fine. Lisbon: Forget about Bosco. Jane: He's got something. Lisbon: Yeah, he's got Red John, and we don't. Jane: No. No, he's got something new on the case-new evidence. Lisbon: How can you tell? Jane: It's clear as can be. I'll be right back. Lisbon: Jane, Red John belongs to Bosco now. I don't like it either, but you're gonna have to deal with it. Jane: Do you want a coffee? I'm gonna bring you a coffee. Bosco: I need copies of each of these sent over to division. What's he doing in there? Rebecca: He said you told him to wait in there. Bosco: We'll finish later. Get away from my desk. Jane: Where'd you go? I've been here almost half an hour. Bosco: And stop hacking my passcodes and stop hustling my people. It's not doing you any good, you know. Jane: I don't know what you're talking about. What'd you get on Red John? Bosco: And what makes you think I got anything? Jane: The folder- you moved it when you saw me, protected it. It's the one thing you'd protect from me. It's the cover-up that gave you away. What is it? Bosco: It's none of your business, so go. Jane: You need to understand something. Red John doesn't make mistakes. He doesn't leave clues. If you have new evidence, it's because he wants you to have it. The question isn't "what does it mean?" it's "why did he give it to you?" Bosco: That's deep. Jane: Tell me what it is. I can help you. Bosco: Have you ever seen a crack addict when they're begging for a hit? You got that same look in your eye that they get. Jane: You've got me all figured out. Hey, Van Pelt. Did you get it? Van Pelt: There's a secret compartment, just like you said. Jane: And what was in it? Van Pelt: Nothing. It's empty. Jane: All right. Bosco: Bad news, huh? Jane: No, not at all. Bosco: It's like you said-it's the cover-up that gave you away. You're an addict, Jane. You need help. Jane: You're making a mistake. Bosco: You can go. Rigsby: So I got tickets to the Kings game tomorrow night. You want to go? Cho: I'm going out. Rigsby: Who with? Cho: The niece of the shopkeeper we met on that Red John thing. Rigsby: Oh, finally. It took you long enough. Cho: 5-b? Rigsby: Yeah. Cho: Yeah, we talked on the phone. She's nice. We'll see how it goes. Rigsby: Oh, I expect a full report. Cho: In your dreams. Rigsby: Hey, I got you that number. You owe me. Cho: No. Charlotte Mcadoo? Charlotte: Yeah. Rigsby: We need to talk to you about your stepdaughter, Kristin Marley. You know that Kristin's dead, right, Charlotte? Charlotte: What about it? Cho: I guess you're pretty broken up. Charlotte: She wasn't my kid. I'm not the huggy type. Sue me. Cho: If you didn't like Kristin, why'd you make all those calls right before she disappeared? Charlotte: Don't remember. Rigsby: It was a week ago. Charlotte: I'm old. My memory's bad. Cho: Did it have something to do with your son Harlan? Charlotte: What about Harlan? Cho: He used Kristin as an alibi when he was arrested, but Kristin told Sacramento P. D. She hadn't seen harlan for months. Were you asking Kristin to change her story and lie an alibi for her stepbrother? Charlotte: No, that's crazy. Rigsby: Where is harlan? Charlotte: I don't know. I haven't seen him for days. Rigsby: Okay. Thanks for your time. Charlotte: That's... That's it? Cho: We'll see ourselves out. Thank you. You think Charlotte smokes filtered and unfiltered? Rigsby: Not if she's got a visitor. Bathroom or closet? Cho: Bathroom. Rigsby: I think closet. You want to bet? Cho: What do I get if I win? Rigsby: I pay for lunch next week. I win, you tell me about your date. Cho: That's enough time. Rigsby: Hey, harlan. Charlotte: Oh, crap. Rigsby: Harlan, were you in the bathroom or the closet? Harlan: Closet. Wh- Rigsby: Told ya. Cho: We didn't bet. Rigsby: Yes, we did. Harlan: No law against being in a closet. Lisbon: No, Harlan, but it is kinda suspicious. Harlan: You got no right to hold me. Lisbon: We're just talking. Harlan: All right, what do you want to talk about? Cho: Kristin Marley- when did you see her last? Harlan: What happened to her? Cho: You tell us. Harlan: I got nothing to say about her. Cho: You must be mad that she didn't back your alibi on the carJacking charge, huh? Harlan: First of all, that arrest was completely bogus. And "b, " that stuck-up bitch don't get what the word "family" means, so... Cho: What is that? Harlan: Family's supposed to help when you're down. But she gets a job in the capitol with some big money friends, and pow- she's too good for the people she grew up with. She don't get what the word "family" is all about, you know? Lisbon: Didn't. She's dead. Harlan: Yeah. That's too bad. Lisbon: Did you have any contact with Kristin after you posted bail, Harlan? Harlan: No. Lisbon: None? Harlan: That's what I said. Lisbon: It's funny, 'cause our tech guys have been going through her cell phone. There's some deleted texts on it. Four of them were from you the day she disappeared. Harlan: No. That's what you call a-a glitch-computer thing. Cho: You were threatening Kristin to get her to lie for you, right? Harlan: Didn't say that. Cho: I could see why you'd do it. You're facing serious time. Harlan: You arresting me? You got no right to hold me if you ain't. Cho: You're not under arrest, but you are out on bail, and that can be revoked if the judge thinks you're not being cooperative. Lisbon: Do you want a soda, Harlan? Harlan: I want chips. Lisbon: If he took Kristin's body to the bridge, he put her in his trunk. It's worth taking a look. I'll call the district attorney. Cho: If Harlan hears we're looking at his car, he'll be out the door before the warrant comes through. Lisbon: We're gonna make him want to stay. Van Pelt. You're taking over the mcadoo interview. Van Pelt: I'm totally ready for that. I can get him to confess to this. Lisbon: Yeah, maybe. The main thing is, you keep him in there long enough for us to search his car. Be friendly. He thinks he's a player. He'll eat it up. Van Pelt: What do you mean, be friendly? Lisbon: Need a map? Good luck. Rigsby: I heard Bosco cleaned your clock this morning. Jane: Oh, that's one interpretation. Rigsby: I get it. It's tough to have Red John taken away like that. Bet you'd give a lot to know what they're saying in Bosco's office. Jane: Yeah. Yeah, I would. Rigsby: You gotta let it go, man. Forget about the jewelry box. You missed one. So what? Jane: Actually, I didn't. I'm pursuing an independent line of investigation, gonna crack this case in 24 hours. Rigsby: I think we might be ahead of you this time. [SCENE_BREAK] Van Pelt: Hi, Harlan. I'm agent Van Pelt. Special agent Lisbon asked me to take over the interview. Harlan: Why? Van Pelt: She's busy... With something else. So I've looked through your file, and it's, uh, it's very... Harlan: What? Van Pelt: Well... I don't think you had anything to do with this crime. Harlan: Thank you. That's what I've been saying. Van Pelt: It's just a big misunderstanding, I'm sure. Harlan: Yeah. You got that right. Van Pelt: But let's fill out the forms so everyone's happy, okay? Chips. So let's make a time line of everywhere you've been since Kristin disappeared. Harlan: Okay. You want another? Jane: These all pictures of your daughter? Walter: Yes, they are. Jane: Oh, it's surprising there's not more pictures of you, given your standing, that is. Walter: What, me talking to a bunch of famous windbags? Had those, took 'em down. Waste of space. Jane: Thank you. Walter: No, my days are over. Melinda has got the future. She could go far, very far, if she listens to me. Now what did you want to talk about? Jane: How long were you sleeping with Kristin Marley before she was killed? Walter: What makes you think I was? Jane: You're a politician- ambitious, narcissistic, addicted to the love of strangers. She was beautiful, impressionable, no doubt flattered by your attentions. And you're not the sort of man to deny yourself an object of desire. Walter: I'm married 38 years, Mr. Jane. Jane: As I said. Walter: Uh, even if what you say is true- and I'm not saying it is- what does that have to do with poor Kristin's murder? Jane: Blackmail or something like it. The business adultery leads to. Walter: But even if I am what you say I am- and I'm not saying I am- wouldn't I have faced a situation like this before and handled it without killing anybody? Jane: It's a good point. I'll think about that. Walter: Please. Anything else? Jane: What? Sorry? Well, whoever it is, I'll have the killer by the morning, so, uh, you should act accordingly. Thank you for your time. Cho: You think harlan ever cleans out his car? Rigsby: So where you taking the shopkeeper's niece for dinner? Cho: I'd rather not talk about it. Rigsby: Why not? Cho: It's private. Rigsby: Oh, come on. Cho: Let's talk about somethin' else. Rigsby: I'll call technical services. They can pop that lock in 20 seconds. Cho: It'll take 'em 2 hours to get here. Rigsby: It took you two hours to open the door last time you tried this, and we had to pay for the busted window. Cho: Fluke. Rigsby: If I had a date, I'd tell you about it. Cho: Yeah. Rigsby: I would, tell you anything you wanted to know. Cho: Okay, you ever gonna man up and make a move on Van Pelt? Rigsby: Fine. Don't tell me. Cho: Right. Rigsby: Check this out. Wasn't the other one of these on Kristin Marley's foot? Cho: I'll call Lisbon. Lisbon: Kristin's shoe was in your trunk. Harlan: No. No way. Lisbon: You want to tell us how it got there, Harlan? Harlan: I don't know. Maybe you put it there, huh? Lisbon: You have no alibi for the night of Kristin's disappearance. Harlan: I told you. I was with my mom. Lisbon: She was concealing you when we went to pick you up. It's not gonna cut it. Van Pelt: You were mad at Kristin. Harlan: A little, but- - Van Pelt: You threatened her. Harlan: No. Okay, I mean, a-a little, but come on. I-I wouldn't hurt her for real. Lisbon: That's not much of a story, harlan. Harlan: I thought you believed me. Van Pelt: You were wrong. Harlan: You know what? The hell with this. I'm outta here. Lisbon: Not quite yet. Harlan: Oh, you're gonna stop me? Lisbon: Yeah. Jane: Did you make the arrest? Lisbon: I did. Jane: Ah, victory is yours. Lisbon: Yes, it is. What? Jane: Oh, nothing. Lisbon: Come on. Jane: No. No. Lisbon: I'm still waiting. Jane: Throwing the body off the bridge was a smart move- good chance the coroner would declare it a suicide. Do you really think Harlan Mcadoo would come up with that? Lisbon: Dumb people can come up with smart ideas, and smart people can come up with dumb ones. Jane: Eh, true. I'll have the real killer here in 12 hours or so. Lisbon: What are you talking about? Jane: You'll see. Bye. Lisbon: Jane. Cho: Hey, boss, you want me to send mcadoo down to be arraigned? Lisbon: Not yet. Sit on him. See if he comes up with something useful once he calms down. Melinda: Obviously, you've got to get it out of committee before- Mr. Jane? Jane: Don't mind me. Melinda: What are you doing? Jane: Hard at work, on the case. Elliott: I don't understand. We got a call from agent Minelli saying that an arrest had been made-Kristin's stepbrother. Jane: Nope, nope, nope. Wrong guy. Elliott: How can that be? Jane: Simple miscarriage of justice, happens all the time. Melinda: What does that mean? Jane: It means I have to find the real killer. Melinda: The real killer? How? Jane: Oh, Kristin was a collector. Ergo, the identity of Kristin's killer will be in her things. Elliott: How can you be sure it's there? Jane: Oh, I'm sure. Melinda: Mr. Jane, this isn't acceptable. First you accost my father- Jane: oh, I wouldn't use the word "accost." Melinda: Now you're ransacking my office. Elliott: Calm down, Melinda. Melinda: I won't calm down. I thought we put this behind us. Jane: Not much of a campaign slogan- "Batson-so tough on crime, she puts the innocent behind bars." Elliott: Do what you have to do. Uh, we'll help in any way we can. Jane: Great. Thank you. There's a couple of boxes right there, if you could just, uh, grab one each and follow me to my car. Minelli: Lisbon, didn't you arrest mcadoo? Lisbon: Yeah, we did. Minelli: D.A.Says you haven't sent him down to be arraigned. Lisbon: We have 48 hours to do that. We still have some loose ends. Minelli: What-what loose ends? Him? Lisbon: No. Minelli: What are you doing? No, don't tell me. I want this off my desk. Get Mcadoo to the D.A. Tonight. Jane: How hard is Crew leaning on you? Minelli: He's not. Jane: Then who's doing it for him? Minelli: No one. Lisbon: Is this my case, sir? Minelli: Yes, but- Lisbon: Then it's my decision as to when the suspect is handed over to the district attorney, right? Minelli: If Mcadoo isn't in the D.A.'s office first thing tomorrow morning, this becomes a different conversation. Jane: You won't regret this. Lisbon: I already do. Lisbon: Hey, this is Lisbon. Leave a message. I'll call you back. Jane: I found what I was looking for. I don't want to risk taking it out of the office, so I'm gonna put it in the top right-hand drawer of your desk. When you get this, call me. "Ah Ha" Janitor: You-you startled me. I'll... I'll just get out of your way. Lisbon: Stand still. Turn around. Art: What is this? Lisbon: Who are you and who are you working for? Art: I work for the building. I clean. I clean. Jane: Oh, you're not a cleaner. Look at this place. It's a mess. You're the fixer. You've been listening in on our conversations. What's that? That's one of the bugs you placed. I found it in the overhead light. When I told Van Pelt to go and check out the jewelry box, you overheard and you went there first. And it was you that placed the shoe in mcadoo's trunk. Art: I'm on the cleaning crew. Jane: Oh, really? Art: I'm new. You can call my supervisor. Marty, uh, Marty, uh, Toretta, huh? Call him up right now. Jane: No. Art: Wake him up. I got no idea what you're talking about here. Lisbon: We're talking about accessory to murder, conspiracy, obstruction. Who hired you? Art: Murder? Oh, i-i don't feel too good. Can I sit-can i- - Jane: Oh, take a seat. Art: Thanks. All right. No, no, no. Calm. Are you calm? Jane: Sure. Art: All right, now I want you to lift your gun out with two fingers and slide it across the floor. Now get your cuffs. Lisbon: This isn't gonna work. Art: The door- hook yourself up. Toss the keys. Now you and I are gonna walk out here. Jane: Sure. It's a little stroll. Lisbon: Find out where he goes. Jane: Oh, no, I think- Lisbon: Go, now! Go! Keys, please. There. Yeah. Melinda: so, agent Lisbon, here we are. What's this about? Lisbon: This is Art Cavalleri. He's the private investigator one of you hired to wiretap and obstruct our investigation. Walter: Really? Lisbon: He's agreed to talk in exchange for leniency. I called you down here to offer you the same deal. Walter: Well, that's very nice of you. You can discuss it with my attorney. Melinda? Melinda: I have nothing to say. Lisbon: Even if you had nothing to do with Kristin Marley's murder, with what cavalleri is saying about the conspiracy and the cover-up, you're all gonna do a lot of time in prison. Walter: I don't need to hear any more. Elliott: W-wait. I-I do. What kind of leniency are we talking about here? Melinda: Elliott. Lison: Depends, mr. Batson. What do you know? Elliott: I need an assurance that any charges related to the murder will be dropped. Got it, as long as you didn't have anything to do with the murder. Walter: If you'll excuse us, I want some private time with my family right now. Lisbon: Mr. Crew, stay there. Go on. Jane: Oh, come on. Spit it out, man. The marriage is a sham. She's gay. You're the beard. It was kind of obvious from the start. Elliott: I had an arrangement with Melinda. Walter: Elliott, don't. Elliot: I agreed to marry Melinda in exchange for... Certain financial considerations. Walter: Batson, we had a deal. Jane: Did that deal include time in prison? I don't think so. So it was your own people that started the rumor about you and Kristin- to hide her affair with Melinda. Elliott: Yes. I'm sorry, Melinda. Kristin broke it off shortly before she disappeared. Melinda was upset. Lisbon: And were you with Melinda the night Kristin disappeared? Elliott: No. I didn't see her until late that night. She was... A mess. But she wouldn't tell me what had happened. Lisbon: Kristin had something hidden in her apartment- a memento, I guess. Jane: Lovers' memento. Lisbon: Cavalleri had found it, but we took it out of his car. It could be a "W, " but I think it's an "M." You and your father were both having an affair with Kristin. Melinda: No. No. I- Walter: Melinda. Melinda: I had a relationship with Kristin. He seduced her... Took her... The way he's taken women his whole life. Walter: I was trying to make a point. Melinda: You were what? Walter: I was trying to show you- Melinda: what? Jane: She was just another girl, that she was just another trashy little girl. You thought you were in love, but she was just having a fling. He believed that you were giving away a very bright political career because of some strumpet. Lisbon: What happened that night? Melinda, every day you don't talk is another day you're on the news. Melinda: I knew Kristin was seeing someone, but I didn't know who it was. So I followed her... And that's when I saw my father. After he left, I went into her apartment. She had these stone bookends. I grabbed one. Next thing I knew, Kristin was on the floor. It just... Happened. And then I did what I always do when I'm in trouble. I called daddy. He said he knew someone who could fix it. Jane: Ah, the fixer. You can let cavalleri go now. Watch. Melinda: Oh, my god. He's dead. Jane: Yeah. Minelli: You abused a corpse to get a confession. Jane: Used. Used a corpse. There's no "ab." Minelli: I'm appalled. I'm... I don't know what to say. Lisbon: Sir, it's not like we killed him. His neck was broken in the crash. Jane: We got a confession. Minelli: Suppose you didn't. Suppose you'd been wrong. Have you any idea of the vastness of the crap storm that would follow? It would blot out the sun. Lisbon: Sir, Crew and Batson manipulated us into arresting the wrong person. They bugged our offices and subverted our case. I don't think we did anything wrong. I think we should be commended. Minelli: Congratulations. You finally got her to drink the kool-aid. Check yourself, agent. All of you. Jane: Well, I thought that went pretty well. Lisbon: Great, yeah. Jane: Highlight for me was definitely your speech- passionate, articulate, strong. Lisbon: Whatever. Rigsby: Hey, good work with Mcadoo you know, keeping him here. Van Pelt: Yeah. You know, if boss had given me a chance, I think I could have gotten him to confess. Rigsby: Sure, if he wasn't, you know, innocent. If it wasn't for that small fact, I'm sure you'd have taken him to town. Van Pelt: Thanks. Rigsby: You have any plans for tonight? Van Pelt: Home, TV. Rigsby: Well... Have fun. Van Pelt: You, too. Cho: You're gonna die alone. Rebecca: Sir? Jane: Morning. Rebecca: Yeah. Sir, you can't go in there. Jane: No, it's okay. I come in peace. great color on you. Bosco: Go away. Jane: Just give me a minute, please. I-I want you, and I want your team to know that I got it. I got the message. I got it. The Red John case... Belongs to you. Bosco: You're gonna leave us alone? Jane: Yeah, that's right. Bosco: I don't believe that. Jane: I brought you doughnuts- the international law enforcement symbol of friendship. I am trusting you to catch Red John. I'm counting on it. Bosco: We will catch him. Thanks. Jane: Good hunting. Bosco: Hicks, take that away. Take it far away. Take it out of the building. God know what he put in there. Hicks: You got it. Bosco: All right, let's go over the most recent forensics. There are two short, linear incised wounds that are extremely superficial. They involve the anterior surface of the right wrist, which measures 0. 8 inches. Okay, you got it. Don't tell the locals what it's for. Policeman: Yeah, no worries. Just say you're following up on something. Bosco: I want to keep this on the down low for now. Now what else did you get from handwriting analysis? Policeman: We've had two guys look at it- one local, one from d. C., and of course they agree on pretty much nothing. Figures. Bosco: What did the D. C. Guy say?	Plan: A: The CBI team; Q: Who is called in to investigate the murder of Kristin Marley? A: State; Q: What type of Senator was Kristin Marley? A: the Senator's husband; Q: Who was Kristin Marley rumored to have had an affair with? A: Lisbon; Q: Who is late to her psychiatrist for the third time in a row? A: Jane; Q: Who plants a listening device in Sam Bosco's office? A: an eye; Q: What does Jane keep on Sam Bosco? A: the Red John case; Q: What case is Jane trying to figure out what new information Bosco has discovered? A: 24 hours; Q: How long does Jane think it will take to find the murderer? Summary: The CBI team are called in to investigate the murder of Kristin Marley, a prominent State Senator's intern & aide, who was rumored to have had an affair with the Senator's husband. Lisbon is late to her psychiatrist for the third time in a row and tries to convince him she's alright. Meanwhile, Jane, who is keeping an eye on Sam Bosco and his team, attempts to figure out what new information Bosco has discovered on the Red John case, all the while boasting that he can find the murderer in the CBI's current case within 24 hours. Jane plants a listening device in Bosco's office.
THE MUTANTS BY: BOB BAKER AND DAVE MARTIN 5:50pm - 6:15pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. SKYBASE ONE. TRANSFER SECTION (KY uses JO as a shield as he backs towards a transport cubicle.) JO: But I'm not an Overlord! I've come to help you! (KY and JO enter a transport cubicle. The MARSHAL, the DOCTOR and the guards, weapons trained, stand before the row of cubicles.) MARSHAL: Now, you fool! Shoot! DOCTOR: No, you can't! MARSHAL: I said fire! (The guards fire and the cubicle explodes. When the smoke has cleared, there is a large burnt hole in the glass of the door but no sign of JO or KY. The MARSHAL raises the microphone in his baton as the DOCTOR looks on in horror.) MARSHAL: (Into radio.) Alert all ground stations. (To the DOCTOR.) Your friend won't get far...without a mask. [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. SOLOS. TRANSFER STATION (The transfer station on Solos looks much like its counterpart on Skybase, complete with signed, segregated cubicles. The Solonian cubicle glows with an intense blue light which fades, along with the sound of the materialisation which at first blocks out KY'S words as he speaks to JO. He has now released her.) KY: ... No Overlord can exist without a mask. JO: How many more times do I have to tell you I'm not an Overlord? (A short distance away, a Skybase guard sits behind a counter behind which is a sign which reads: CHECK OXYMASKS BEFORE LEAVING He hears a radio message from the MARSHAL.) MARSHAL: (Over radio.) I want both of them. Do I make myself clear? SOLOS GUARD: Sir. (He grabs a gun from a wall mounting and opens the counter door as KY and JO step out of the cubicle. A klaxon alarm starts to blare out. KY looks round warily.) KY: ... outside. The atmosphere is poisonous! No Overlord can exist for more than a few hours without a mask. JO: Well, what am I going to do? KY: Well you will stay here. I shall make a run for it. (He starts to head off but JO follows.) JO: No, I'm coming with you! KY: Look, I warn you - my life is more important than yours - to Solos and my people. I cannot stop to help you. (The alarm stops.) JO: I'm coming with you. (In the now silent passage, KY hears something.) KY: Shh, guards! (He pulls JO round a corner as the reception guard turns round another. He spots JO just out of hiding and starts to walk towards her. KY springs out from one side and grabs the guard round the neck, pulling him to the floor.) KY: (To JO.) Come on! (The guard quickly starts to recover as KY pulls JO down the passage, past the counter and to a door marked with a sign next to it which reads: AIRLOCK OXYMASKS MUST BE WORN The guard fires a shot which hits the sign. A shower of sparks explodes as KY opens the door and bundles JO through.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. SOLOS. TRANSFER STATION. AIRLOCK (KY presses the palm-print sensor and the inner door closes. He starts to twist a dial on a device on the outer door.) KY: Alright? JO: Fine so far. KY: Good. (He opens the door and they step cautiously out onto the foggy surface of the planet.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. SKYBASE ONE. MARSHAL'S OFFICE (The DOCTOR is sat at the centre table in the MARSHAL'S office as the man himself closes his baton radio. The Time Lords container rests on the table and two guards stand on the door.) DOCTOR: Bad news. MARSHAL: For you Doctor, for your friend - they have escaped on to the surface of Solos. DOCTOR: Ah. MARSHAL: Still, without a mask... But never fear, Doctor, we shall find her - or her body. (The DOCTOR looks up.) DOCTOR: Would you kindly explain that remark, sir? MARSHAL: During the hours of daylight no human can survive on Solos without an oxymask. The soil contains a nitrogen isotope unknown on Earth. The ultra-violet rays of the sun cause a kind of...poisonous mist. DOCTOR: (Concerned.) How poisonous? MARSHAL: I give your friend an hour, possibly less depending on how fast they're travelling. I could, of course, step up the search. (The DOCTOR quickly rises to his feet.) DOCTOR: May I suggest that you do so immediately? MARSHAL: Or I could call off the search altogether - let them escape. DOCTOR: (Shocked.) And let her die? You can't do that! MARSHAL: I can do as I please, Doctor. And since the unfortunate assassination of the Administrator, Solos is under Martial Law - my law. DOCTOR: How very convenient for you. Now look, are you going to search for Miss Grant or not? MARSHAL: That depends on you, Doctor. (He looks down pointedly at the container.) DOCTOR: Does it? (The DOCTOR picks the container up.) MARSHAL: Well, I thought you said this box was intended for Ky? DOCTOR: Apparently. MARSHAL: Then I shall want to know what's in it - before he does. (He takes the container off the DOCTOR.) DOCTOR: No, I'm sorry. That would be completely unethical. (The MARSHAL crosses to his desk.) MARSHAL: Then I shall be forced to recall my men, Doctor. We're stretched very thin on Skybase. So many demands on our resources, you know. (The DOCTOR considers and gives in.) DOCTOR: Alright. I'll try and open the box for you, but...I shall need your most advanced laboratory facilities. (The MARSHAL opens his radio.) MARSHAL: (Into radio.) Calling Solos - intensify the search. (He is about to finish his message, but...) DOCTOR: Marshal! MARSHAL: (Into radio, reluctantly.) The girl must not be harmed. DOCTOR: That's better. [SCENE_BREAK] 5: EXT. SOLOS (KY and JO run as fast as they can through the stunted bushes and mists of the planet. KY easily takes a lead as JO is starting to find it hard to breathe. She stumbles down. KY, constantly looking out for guards, sees that she has fallen. He considers but goes back to help her as she lies stretched out on the ground, gasping for breath. He picks her up to carry her.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: EXT. ANOTHER PART OF SOLOS (Shortly behind them, STUBBS, COTTON and another Skybase guard, all wearing oxymasks, are in pursuit. STUBBS carries a bleeping tracer.) STUBBS: This way. (STUBBS looks at his device.) STUBBS: Funny? Only one now. Only one trace registering. (They carry on.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: EXT. ANOTHER PART OF SOLOS (With JO in his arms, KY carries on through the mists. He hears the bleep of the tracer close behind him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. SKYBASE ONE. LABORATORY (The MARSHAL has taken the DOCTOR to a futuristic laboratory in Skybase. The room is triangular in shape with a raised platform running round the edge of two sides. The doorway is on the upper level to the left and the ubiquitous two guards stand on duty. The walls of the laboratory are covered with control panels. In the well of the room are various pieces of equipment including one device which resembles a cylinder which rests at an angle. The MARSHAL walks along the outer platform with pride as the DOCTOR follows. The tour of inspection over, the MARSHAL turns to the DOCTOR for his reaction. He is disappointed...) MARSHAL: Well? DOCTOR: Adequate. Not quite what I hoped for but...adequate. (The DOCTOR steps down to the lower level and starts to look over the cylindrical device. The MARSHAL follows.) MARSHAL: Adequate! What do you mean "adequate"? It's the finest laboratory it's possible to build. DOCTOR: Well, I was rather hoping for a particle reversal set-up. You know, something that would... (He waves his hands in a circle.) DOCTOR: ...Turn the box inside out, but...well all this stuff, it seems for geared for atmosphere modulation. (He points to a part of the cylindrical device.) DOCTOR: And this circuits about to overload for a start. (He switches it off.) DOCTOR: What is it anyway - weather control? MARSHAL: Well, something of the sort. Now, tell me, Doctor... (He is interrupted as the door opens and a furious, plump little man bursts in. He is past middle age and dressed in a brown tunic and speaks in a middle-European accent.) JAEGER: (Shouts.) What the blazes is going on in here?! (He stops and gives a sickly smile when he sees who is there.) JAEGER: Oh, it's you Marshal. My apologies. But there was tampering with one of the circuits. DOCTOR: Yes, I'm terribly sorry. I'm afraid that was me. I'd no idea that the thing was operational. One of your circuits was about to overload. JAEGER: Marshal, I must insist! The experiment has reached a critical stage. I'm working here alone and against time...and, with respect, I can't afford...to have you or anyone else interfering with it whenever you feel like doing some stupid guided tour! MARSHAL: Jaeger, that's enough. JAEGER: You give full priority to atmospheric regeneration and then you expect... MARSHAL: (Shouts.) Jaeger! Jaeger! (JAEGER falls silent.) MARSHAL: For the moment, Jaeger, I want you to give full priority to this little problem here. (He taps the container which rests on a lab table.) JAEGER: What? (Puzzled.) What is it? (JAEGER picks the container up as the DOCTOR steps forward.) JAEGER: Who is this man? MARSHAL: An emissary from Earth - or so he claims. (The MARSHAL'S baton bleeps and he answers it.) MARSHAL: (Into radio.) Mmm? VOICE: (Over radio.) Varan's son's in your office, Marshal. MARSHAL: (Into radio.) Good. Hold him there. (He closes the baton.) MARSHAL: I'm sorry, gentlemen, I cannot stay. The assassination, you understand? A man is being held. (He heads for the door.) MARSHAL: Jaeger, I want you to give the Doctor all the help he needs to get that thing open. Doctor, I'll keep you informed about Miss Grant, and you'll keep me informed about your progress. (Smiles.) Won't you? (He walks out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: EXT. SOLOS (KY still carries JO across the wasteland, constantly hearing the bleep of the Skybase guard's tracking device behind him. He deposits JO in some dense shrubbery on a ledge and heads back a little to listen and watch. A short distance away, STUBBS looks at his device watched by COTTON and the third guard.) STUBBS: It's now two. (He nods to the third guard who heads off in one direction.) STUBBS: (To COTTON.) Come on. (They head off in another. The third guard slowly makes his way towards where JO is hidden. KY watches, choosing his moment carefully and then jumps down from the ledge onto the guards back. The fall knocks the guard out. KY takes his oxymask and returns to JO with it. He places it over her mouth.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. SKYBASE ONE. MARSHAL'S OFFICE (The MARSHAL walks into his office where VARAN'S son is waiting, looking over the pouch-like device that he used to kill the Administrator. The MARSHAL waves the guards back at the door not to enter. They step back and the door closes.) MARSHAL: Greetings, son of Varan. VARAN'S SON: Why have I been brought here a prisoner? It was upon your orders that I killed the Administrator. You said he was an enemy of our people. MARSHAL: You've done well. Now for your reward. (VARAN'S son smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. SKYBASE ONE. TRANSFER SECTION (VARAN stalks down the corridor next to the reception area towards the MARSHAL'S office.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. SKYBASE ONE. MARSHAL'S OFFICE (The MARSHAL has the assassination device in his hands, looking it over as VARAN'S son watches.) MARSHAL: Amusing little device, isn't it? Works...perfectly. (He aims it at the Solonian. Alarm appears on his face and then shock as the MARSHAL fires. He clutches his stomach and falls to the floor. At that moment, the door to the office opens and VARAN walks in. He instantly sees his SON on the ground. He casts a look of hatred at the MARSHAL and kneels down to examine his son. He waves a stiff hand over the corpse and then raises his hands to his gods and says a couple of words in his native language. He then looks at the MARSHAL as he starts to unsheathe his sword.) VARAN: So... MARSHAL: No regrets, Varan. First the Administrator, now an attempt to kill me. He was in league with Ky. VARAN: You lie! You ordered us to kill the Administrator! MARSHAL: Others will believe me! (The MARSHAL again raises the pouch and fires. The shot misses and VARAN makes a run for the door, managing to get out. The MARSHAL opens his baton.) MARSHAL: (Into radio.) Attention! Attention! This is the Marshal speaking... [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. SKYBASE ONE. CORRIDOR (VARAN stumbles along the corridor as...) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. SKYBASE ONE. ANOTHER CORRIDOR (...elsewhere, guards search.) MARSHAL: (OOV: Over tannoy.) Solonion Varan has gone mutant. He is at large on Skybase. If taken, he must be dealt with immediately. [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. SKYBASE ONE. MARSHAL'S OFFICE MARSHAL: (Into radio.) Calling Solos, calling Solos. This is the Marshal. Stubbs and Cotton, come in. [SCENE_BREAK] 16: EXT. SOLOS (STUBBS and COTTON have found the fallen guard as they receive the MARSHAL'S message.) STUBBS: (Into radio.) But we're almost on them, sir. MARSHAL: (OOV: Over radio.) I want you up here immediately - out. STUBBS: (To COTTON.) Stay here. COTTON: Thanks. (STUBBS is about to head back...) COTTON: Stubbsy? STUBBS: Yeah? COTTON: Someone's pinched his mask. STUBBS: I'll send some medics down to pick him up. [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. SKYBASE ONE. LABORATORY (The attempt to open the container progresses. JAEGER has rigged up a device, rather like an elaborate elongated lamp, which points at the subject of their efforts together with various other pieces of equipment in an extemporised lash-up. His jacket off, the DOCTOR paces the platform reading some notes.) DOCTOR: You know, I can't think why you people ever came here. JAEGER: Thaesium, Doctor. This planet is one of the richest fuel sources in the galaxy - or it used to be. DOCTOR: Are the deposits now exhausted? JAEGER: More or less. (The DOCTOR joins him.) DOCTOR: So, now you plan to colonise the planet in earnest, if you can change the atmosphere? JAEGER: That's my problem, not yours. DOCTOR: Well, there are other people concerned, you know? JAEGER: Such as? DOCTOR: Well, the Solonians, for example. After all, it is their planet. JAEGER: Was, Doctor. (Smiles.) It is "Doctor", is it? (The DOCTOR gives him a look for his goading and starts to look over a machine connected to the lamp-like probe.) DOCTOR: I think you'll find that... (He un-plugs and the correctly plugs back in various wires which lead into the device.) DOCTOR: That that should hold the Proton beam steady, "Professor"! (JAEGER looks at him sharply. He loses his temper...) JAEGER: (Shouts.) I think that this whole thing is a senseless waste of time! (Scoffs.) Particle reversal! (Laughs.) Nobody has ever achieved it! DOCTOR: On the contrary, my dear chap, I found it a very useful research technique. JAEGER: Er, what do you expect to happen? DOCTOR: I expect the particles to reverse...and the box to turn itself inside out. What's on the outside will be on the inside, and what's on the inside will be on the outside - where we can see it. JAEGER: Rubbish! DOCTOR: You think so? (The DOCTOR takes a small control unit and, unravelling the wire from it, takes a few steps back to a safe distance.) DOCTOR: Come over here and see for yourself. (A look of doubt on his face, JAEGER joins him.) DOCTOR: You ready? (JAEGER gives the slightest of nods.) DOCTOR: Then watch. (The DOCTOR switches the control unit on. Immediately, lights start to flare around the container and a tablet with strange markings on is momentarily revealed against the inside of the container. Almost immediately, the device explodes with a small flash...) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. SKYBASE ONE. CORRIDOR (VARAN reaches a doorway. He hits the palm-print sensor with the handle of his sword until the door opens. He steps in. A sign next to the door reads: HERBARIUM NO UNAUTHORISED ENTRY Guards footsteps approach the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. SKYBASE ONE. HERBARIUM (They look within. The room is suffused with an orange glow and is filled with plants and greenery but there is no sign of VARAN.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: EXT. SOLOS. CAVE MOUTH (KY carries JO towards a large cave mouth. Looking round to make sure they are not being followed, he steps within a few feet and rests JO gently on the ground. She has the oxymask on her face. Taking her hands in his, he stands behind her and pulls her arms back and forth, rather like rowing a boat, in an effort to make her lungs contract and therefore to breathe. The technique works and she quickly comes round. He helps her sit up and takes the mask off. She looks round in some fear as she recovers her breath...) JO: What is this...place? KY: A disused mine. One of many on Solos. JO: I remember...running. KY: I nearly left you to die. JO: What about the mask? KY: A guard's. JO: He...! KY: He'll be alright if he takes it easy. You won't need this while you're in here. It's the daylight makes the air poisonous to Overlords. You are from Earth, but you are not... JO: (Interrupts.) The Doctor! We came to help you. KY: Ah, the Overlord with the box. JO: For goodness sake! KY: I'm sorry. My people know Earthmen only as Overlords. It's difficult to think otherwise. JO: The box! It was for you! But, that's...why I followed you. KY: (Puzzled.) Me? Why? JO: I don't know. KY: Is it weapons? JO: I don't know! KY: Who sent you? JO: I...we must ask the Doctor. KY: How? [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. SKYBASE ONE. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR starts to make repairs to the lash-up as an astounded and transformed in attitude JAEGER watches.) DOCTOR: Well, there are bound to be one or two snags to begin with. JAEGER: But...but it worked? DOCTOR: Well, of course it worked. JAEGER: But theoretically it's impossible. DOCTOR: I don't suppose you saw what it was, did you? I mean inside, I mean? JAEGER: Not clearly, but the process... DOCTOR: ...Was all over in a flash. Yes, I know. (The door opens and the MARSHAL enters with STUBBS.) MARSHAL: Is Varan here? (JAEGER is still too stunned to reply.) DOCTOR: Who? MARSHAL: Jaeger, have you seen him - Varan, the Mutt? DOCTOR: Another mutant? MARSHAL: He was heading this way. Jaeger! JAEGER: (Impatiently.) No, Marshal, I haven't seen him! I've got more important things to do. MARSHAL: So long as that Mutt stays alive, he's a menace to everybody on this Skybase. He was behind the assassination plot with Ky. (The DOCTOR is more interested in what the MARSHAL has to say than the experiment which now consumes JAEGER'S attention...) DOCTOR: And now you say he's mutating? (STUBBS' radio bleeps.) VOICE: (Over radio.) Mutant Varan hiding in storage section ,sir. STUBBS: They've located him, sir. MARSHAL: Alright, Stubbs, you know what to do. STUBBS: Sir. DOCTOR: Marshal? MARSHAL: Mmm? DOCTOR: I wonder...could I perhaps go on this "Mutt hunt" with you? MARSHAL: Out of the question. JAEGER: I'm sure the Doctor has good reason. He'd find it most interesting. MARSHAL: What? (Behind the DOCTOR, JAEGER gives a shake of his head to indicate that he wants the DOCTOR out of the way. The MARSHAL takes the hint.) MARSHAL: Oh, very well. Stubbs? STUBBS: Sir? MARSHAL: Keep an eye on him. STUBBS: Yes, sir. I will. (The DOCTOR takes his jacket and leaves with STUBBS. The MARSHAL steps down to JAEGER.) MARSHAL: Well? JAEGER: With that man's help, I could the whole atmosphere regeneration project operational within a week. MARSHAL: What?! JAEGER: He understands particle reversal. He could speed up the whole process. MARSHAL: Then we must be sure he stays with us. Yes, his assistant's the key to that as well. [SCENE_BREAK] 22: EXT. SOLOS. CAVE MOUTH (KY is putting together a small pile of twigs and branches to make a fire.) JO: How long before they track us down? KY: Caverns run for miles. They'll never find us. JO: Well that means neither will the Doctor? KY: We must wait. My people will tell me when the Doctor comes. JO: (Puzzled.) Your people? KY: The dispossessed, the outcasts, the terrorists as the Overlords label them. (JO continues to look puzzled.) KY: Tell me about the caverns of Earth. JO: The what? KY: The caverns - where you live on Earth. JO: I live in London! (KY thinks he understands and smiles.) KY: A sky city. JO: No, London. London on the ground. KY: No, I have seen pictures of Earth. No one lives on the ground. The air is too poisonous. And soon, Solos will be the same. The Overlords only promise independence so they can go on plundering our resources, turning our green fields into their grey slagheaps. Am I not right? Is it not true? JO: I...don't know. It's rather a long time since I left Earth. KY: Once my people were farmers and nomads. Now look at them. (Bitterly.) Slaves in factories and mines! Already the pollution is causing mutations. The "Mutts" as the Marshal calls them. (He snaps a branch in anger.) KY: Mutts! JO: What happens to them? KY: Well they are killed. Hunted down and killed. Or if they escape they hide in places like these. [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. SOLOS. CAVE PASSAGE (Not far away, a creature with a stubbled back and claw-like hands scurries down a passage with a roar...) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. SKYBASE ONE. HERBARIUM (The DOCTOR and STUBBS cautiously enter the herbarium.) DOCTOR: What is this place anyway? What's it for? STUBBS: Seed propagation. Earth crops for Solos. (His gun ready, STUBBS walks further into the semi-darkened room.) STUBBS: Varan? Varan? It's no use, me old son. Let's get it over with. DOCTOR: (Appalled.) Get it over with? You don't intend shooting him in cold blood, do you? STUBBS: It's the only way. DOCTOR: How do you know? (STUBBS ignores him. He goes one way while the DOCTOR walks off in another direction.) STUBBS: (Smiles.) Come on, Varan. Varan? Make it easy on yourself! (Suddenly he feels the tip of a sword in his back as VARAN steps out of cover. STUBBS drops his gun but twists round on the Solonian and they start to struggle.) VARAN: Varan is no Mutt, Overlord! I am a warrior and I fight like a warrior! (VARAN has the upper hand and obviously intends the use the sword on STUBBS' throat. The DOCTOR picks up the dropped gun and aims it at VARAN.) DOCTOR: Varan, no! Varan! Varan, wait! (He fires at VARAN'S hand and shoots the sword out of it. He hands the gun back to STUBBS who aims it at VARAN but the DOCTOR knocks it back.) DOCTOR: Don't be a fool, Stubbs! Can't you see? There's no sign of any mutation. STUBBS: But the Marshal said he was a mutant! VARAN: The Marshal has murdered my son! DOCTOR: I think you'd better tell us what you know - quickly! We're your only chance. [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. SKYBASE ONE. MARSHAL'S OFFICE (COTTON stands to attention before the MARSHAL who sits at his desk in his office.) COTTON: I thought you knew, sir. The guard's mask was gone when we found him. (The MARSHAL jumps up in anger.) MARSHAL: No, Cotton, I did not know! I'm surrounded by incompetents! COTTON: Sir. (The MARSHAL starts to pace...) COTTON: Sir? MARSHAL: Well? COTTON: At least it means the girl is still alive. MARSHAL: Yes, Cotton. But Ky has got her and not us. I want that girl found - understand? One more thing; as far as the Doctor is concerned, we have already got her. COTTON: Sir? MARSHAL: We have already got her, Cotton. She's in hospital - on Solos. Right? (COTTON nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. SKYBASE ONE. CORRIDOR (The DOCTOR and STUBBS have left VARAN having heard his story and they make their way back to the MARSHAL'S office. STUBBS is astounded at what he has heard.) STUBBS: You mean His Nibs fixed up the whole thing? Had the Administrator done in and then swung the blame on the natives? DOCTOR: That's right. You heard Varan's story. STUBBS: I see. And if there's independence, the Marshal's out of a job. DOCTOR: Yes, exactly. But now the planet's under marshal law, "his nibs", as you call him, means to keep it that way. STUBBS: So what do we do? DOCTOR: Keep Varan in hiding, tell the Marshal he's been dealt with. I can't move against him openly until I am sure Miss Grant is safe. I'll just have to play for time. [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. SKYBASE ONE. MARSHAL'S OFFICE (They enter the MARSHAL'S office where the man himself is still with COTTON and two other guards.) MARSHAL: Ah, Doctor, good news. Stubbs, did you find Varan? STUBBS: He's been dealt with, sir. DOCTOR: (In disgust.) Dealt with! MARSHAL: Mmm, these Mutts are a bigger menace than you realise, Doctor. As no doubt Miss Grant will tell you. DOCTOR: You've found her then? When can I see her? MARSHAL: Cotton? COTTON: She's receiving oxygen treatment - in a day or so. DOCTOR: A day or so? MARSHAL: Possibly longer. She was in pretty poor shape when Cotton found her. DOCTOR: What about Ky? MARSHAL: Ky left her to die, Doctor. The whole planet will remain under marshal law until the full of the assassination dies down. Meanwhile, Doctor, Professor Jaeger could use you on a project of some urgency. It will pass the time. DOCTOR: Until you let me see Miss Grant, you mean? MARSHAL: (Smiles.) Exactly! [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. SKYBASE ONE. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR has returned to the laboratory. On one wall is a semi-ornate diagrammatical decoration showing SOLOS, its layers of atmosphere and Skybase in orbit. JAEGER uses a pen-like device to draw arrows on a screen on a machine in front of him which appear on the device, illustrating his plan for the watching DOCTOR'S benefit. The arrows all point down through into the atmosphere.) JAEGER: What I propose to do is to bombard these layers of the atmosphere with ionisation rockets at these points. This will provide...a barrier against the ultra-violet rays which create the poison mist. DOCTOR: What you're proposing - and do correct me if I am wrong - is an all out rocket attack on a defenceless planet. JAEGER: (Amused.) But these aren't military rockets! DOCTOR: Well, try telling the Solonians that. JAEGER: I can't understand your concern, Doctor. This planet, as it stands, is no longer of any use unless we make the atmosphere breathable. DOCTOR: Even if it means wiping out every Solonian in the process? JAEGER: (Losing his patience.) Earth is fighting for its survival. The side-effects are of no importance! (The DOCTOR slams a fist down on a console and jumps up.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) Genocide as a side-effect! (He paces the laboratory in anger.) DOCTOR: You ought to write a paper on that, Professor! JAEGER: Perhaps you have an alternative suggestion? DOCTOR: Yes, perhaps. JAEGER: Particle reversal, no doubt? Your little forte? DOCTOR: Particle reversal is one way. Not as violent as yours, of course, but...the result will be the same. JAEGER: The question is, Doctor, can it be done? DOCTOR: Well, we could try an experiment, couldn't we? (The door glides open and COTTON enters.) COTTON: The Marshal wants to see you, Professor. JAEGER: Can't it wait? COTTON: You know the Marshal. JAEGER: Oh, very well, I know. (Resigned, he leaves the laboratory. COTTON waits until the door has closed and steps down to the DOCTOR who has returned to his work.) COTTON: Sir? DOCTOR: Mmm? COTTON: I've been chatting with Stubbs. He's a kind of mate of mine. DOCTOR: Oh, yes? COTTON: About Varan? And about Miss Grant. (The DOCTOR, his interest caught, stands up.) DOCTOR: When can I see her, Cotton? COTTON: That's it her, sir - you can't. We didn't find her. DOCTOR: What? COTTON: As far as we know, she's still with Ky. DOCTOR: (Thinks.) That means I've got to find both of them. How am I going to do that? COTTON: All the guards have orders to stop you leaving this section. DOCTOR: Is there any other way to the transfer station? COTTON: 'Fraid not, sir. (The DOCTOR paces, thinking.) DOCTOR: Cotton, is there an emergency power supply to the transfer station? COTTON: Yes, it... Why, sir? DOCTOR: What would happen if I blew the main power supply to the whole of Skybase? COTTON: Sheer chaos. DOCTOR: Yes, exactly. But if the emergency power supply to the transfer station were already switched over...? COTTON: You could slip down to Solos in the confusion. DOCTOR: Yes, exactly. Can you get the power switched over? COTTON: I can try. DOCTOR: Good, now I'll tell you what I want you to do... (The door opens and an angry JAEGER returns...) JAEGER: Cotton, who told you that the Marshal wanted to see me? COTTON: He did, sir. JAEGER: Then one of you must be mad. COTTON: Oh, yes sir. Sorry, sir. Maybe he changed his mind, sir. (COTTON walks out, nodding to the DOCTOR as he goes.) DOCTOR: Professor, I've been thinking. Perhaps we could try an experiment, er, just to prove whether I'm right or wrong - about particle reversal. JAEGER: Good. DOCTOR: But we'll need to link up to the main power supply. (JAEGER looks dubious...) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. SKYBASE ONE. TRANSFER SECTION (Clipboard in hand, COTTON approaches a guard who is on duty in the reception area.) COTTON: Orders to check stand-by equipment. (The guard steps aside and COTTON starts to press buttons on a panel which is marked MAINS STANDBY. The door to the Solonian cubicle now seems to have been fixed.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. SKYBASE ONE. HERBARIUM (STUBBS enters the herbarium.) STUBBS: Varan! (VARAN steps out of hiding in the shrubbery.) STUBBS: Listen - we're going to try and get you off Skybase. Now when I go, I shall leave this door unlocked. VARAN: How do I know this is not just another Overlord trap? STUBBS: When the time comes, you head straight for the transfer station, but wait for the signal first. VARAN: What signal? STUBBS: You'll hear them announce a power failure. That'll be your chance. VARAN: When will this signal come? STUBBS: That's it - we don't know! You'll just have to trust us, Varan. (He leaves, watched by a narrow-eyed VARAN.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. SKYBASE ONE. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR has connected a large cable from the cylindrical device to his particle reversal equipment. He steps up to a wall panel on the upper level.) JAEGER: Surely you'll overload the whole power supply? DOCTOR: Oh, not a bit of it, old chap. That modulator's utterly reliable, but...I'd be very grateful if you'd keep a close eye on it, would you? (JAEGER leans over the equipment.) DOCTOR: Well, are you ready? JAEGER: Yes. DOCTOR: Well, here goes. (The DOCTOR flicks a switch. A glass tube within the machinery starts to glow and the hum of power builds and builds. JAEGER looks at the DOCTOR in concern.) DOCTOR: It's alright, don't worry. Just you keep your eye on that centre dial. (The little professor turns back to the equipment - which promptly explodes in his face. The room is plunged into semi-darkness and JAEGER lies on the floor, unconscious. The DOCTOR retrieves the container and his cloak and heads for the door.) TANNOY VOICE: Skybase One - Emergency! Emergency! (JAEGER comes round...) TANNOY VOICE: We have power failure. [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. SKYBASE ONE. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE LABORATORY (...as the DOCTOR makes his escape from the laboratory.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. SKYBASE ONE. CORRIDOR (VARAN comes cautiously out of the herbarium.) TANNOY VOICE: Emergency! Emergency! (He has not gone far when he is spotted.) GUARD: Stop or I fire! (The guard fires but misses.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. SKYBASE ONE. CORRIDOR (The DOCTOR makes his way down another corridor...) [SCENE_BREAK] 35: INT. SKYBASE ONE. TRANSFER SECTION (...and into the transfer section. He checks the operating panel and hearing a noise steps back. VARAN grabs him round the neck.) VARAN: Die, Overlord, die!	Plan: A: Ky; Q: Who transports himself and Jo to Solos? A: the Marshal; Q: Who agrees to help Jo if the Doctor helps Professor Jaeger? A: Solos' atmosphere; Q: What does Professor Jaeger want to change? Summary: Ky transports himself and Jo down to Solos and the Marshal only agrees to help her if the Doctor assists Professor Jaeger in altering Solos' atmosphere.
POLICE'S CAR Julian drives the car to the hospital and Nathan hold Dan who is dying. NATHAN: Hurry up, man. We got to get him to the hospital. JULIAN: I'm going as fast as I can! NAHAN: Stay with me, dad. Stay with me. Just put the siren on! JULIAN: I-I've never been in a cop car before. I don't know where the siren is. DAN(Weakly): It's the switch in the middle. (Siren wailing) NATHAN: You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay, dad. FLASHBACK Dan memories. LUCAS: He killed Keith! He shot him! STREET Brooke is still with the cop. COP: Do you have anything else to add? BROOKE:Yeah, make sure you include the part where I told you he was gonna attack me again and you didn't believe me. JULIAN(on the police's car): This is Julian Baker. I have Dan and Nathan Scott, and we're coming to the hospital, so be ready. POLICE'S CAR They are going to arrive to the hospital. NATHAN: We're here. We're here, dad! Dad? He's not waking up. Come on, dad. Come on! HOSPITAL Haley comes in and looks for Nathan. NATHAN: Hi, hales. HALEY: Say that again. NATHAN: Hi, hales. HALEY: I can't believe you're really here. Are you okay? NATHAN: I am now. Haley. It's okay. I love you. HALEY: I love you, too. Thank you for coming home to me. NATHAN: Always. And forever. HALEY: Yeah. LOGAN GRANDPARENTS' HOUSE Clay visits Logan's grandparents. CLAY: I don't know what to say. You two must hate me. GRANDMA: No. CLAY: I'm sorry that I never came by after Sara died. I always meant to. I... I just couldn't. SAM: Nah, we know, Clay. CLAY: Is Logan okay? Can I see him? SAM: It might be best if he doesn't see you for a while, son. I know that that may seem unfair, like we're being overly protective, but he's... He's been through so much. CLAY: Um...Could you please tell him that I came by? GRANDMA: Of course. CLAY: Thank you for taking care of him. HOSPITAL Brooke comes in. BROOKE: Oh, my God. JULIAN: It's not mine. Dan was shot. BROOKE: What? JULIAN: How did you know I was here? BROOKE: I heard you on the police radio. JULIAN: What? BROOKE: Don't freak out. Xavier attacked me outside the cafe. JULIAN: What happened? Are you okay? BROOKE: Yeah, I'm fine. I'll tell you about it later. The important thing is I'm okay, and you're okay, and he's going back to prison for good. How's Nathan? A doctor looks at Nathan. DOCTOR: Your blood pressure looks fine, Mr. Scott. NATHAN: Thank you. DOCTOR: You're welcome. (Haley arrives) HALEY: Thank you. All they had was hospital vanilla. NATHAN: Mmm. Tastes hospital-y. HALEY: Oh. When we get home, I am gonna fill the freezer with rocky road. NATHAN: And mint chocolate chip. HALEY: Mint chocolate chip. (Brooke and Julian too) BROOKE: I don't want to know what you're doing. I just want to hug Nate. HALEY: Hey. BROOKE: Hi! NATHAN: Ah, thanks for coming. HALEY: You have now saved the two most important men in my life, and I don't know how to thank you. JULIAN: I'm just glad I could help. And now I can cross "steal cop car" off my bucket list. CLINN'S HOUSE Quinn receives a call. QUINN(at phone): Hi, Haley. What?! They found Nathan. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Someone knocks on the door. It's Brooke's dad. BRULIAN: Daddy, what are you doing here? TED: Well, after you called, I hopped on the first plane I could. BRULIAN: I told you and mom I was okay. You did not have to fly all the way out here. TED: Of course I did. You're my little girl. I need you safe. Come here. BROOKE: Thank you. HOSPITAL Haley is always close to Nathan. NATHAN: You don't have to stay here with me the whole time. HALEY: Are you kidding me? I'm never gonna let you go. If I could sew my skin to yours, I would. NATHAN: That's really gross. (A surgeon comes in) NATHAN: Hey. How is he? SURGEON: Your father's out of surgery. We did everything we could, but due to the amount of blood loss and his bad heart... It wasn't enough. All we can do now is keep him comfortable. NATHAN: So my dad's gonna die? (Jamie joins her father) JAMIE: Dad! NATHAN: Hey. Buddy. It's good to see you. (Deb with Lydia come in too) DEB: I'm so happy everybody's safe. Mm. NATHAN: Yeah. Me too. Jamie plays to the PSP and Haley joins him. HALEY: Hey, kiddo. I'm glad you're back. Did you have a good time with uncle Lucas and aunt Peyton? JAMIE: Yeah. It was good seeing them, but... But they kept giving me the look you're giving me right now. HALEY: What look? JAMIE: The look you gave me when you told me about Quentin, the look dad gave me when he told me about grandma Lydia, and the look everyone gives me when something's wrong but they don't want to talk about it. HALEY: Wow. Okay. Well, you're... Uh, g-give me the game. Your daddy... Your father... Was taken by some bad men. And your grandpa Dan got him back. JAMIE: Grandpa Dan saved dad? HALEY: Yes. But he got... He got really hurt doing it. He got hurt really badly. JAMIE: He'll be okay. It's grandpa Dan. Dan wakes up. Nathan is here. DAN: Wow. Who died? NATHAN: This is all my fault. You got shot because of me. DAN: Nathan... I made the decision to go in there firing. And I'm the one who took those men's lives. And I'd do it again. NATHAN: You didn't take all their lives. I took one. DAN: I'm sorry I didn't get you out of there before you had to do that. You were defending yourself, son. We both know that. NATHAN: Look, uh...Some people want to see you. DAN: Is it the cops? NATHAN: It's friends and family. DAN: I didn't know I had either. Jamie is closed to Dan. JAMIE: Grandpa Dan? DAN: Hey, buddy. Sorry, I'm a little out of it today. JAMIE: My mom says you saved my dad. DAN: No. I just helped him find his way home. JAMIE: She also said you got pretty badly hurt. But she forgets you're grandpa Dan. I'm sorry I yelled at you the last time I saw you. DAN: You have nothing to apologize for. When your father's gone, you're the man of the house. That comes with some tough decisions. I'm proud of the way you handled yourself. JAMIE: So, are you gonna stay with us when you get out of here? DAN: I don't think I'm gonna make it this time, Jamie. JAMIE: You thought that last time with your bad heart. You were fine. I think you'll be fine this time, too. Clay is at the hospital. He sees Nathan and tells about news. NATHAN: You have a son? CLAY: Logan. NATHAN: How long have I been gone? CLAY: Six years, apparently. NATHAN: How is it that out of the two of us, I don't have the most shocking news? CLAY: Man, none of that should have happened to you. It's my fault. I should have been the one to go to Europe. NATHAN: No. No, you shouldn't have. Dan wouldn't have come to save you.He can't stand you. CLAY: Dude, you were kidnapped. NATHAN: Dude, you're a father. I was kidnapped. CLAY: I'm a father. Quinn is to the hospital too. She sees Haley. HALEY: Hey! Ohh! QUINN: God, it's so good to see you smile again. HALEY: It's so good to see Nathan. I couldn't have made it through any of this without you, Quinn... Thank you so much. QUINN: We're family, Haley. Of course. HALEY: Yeah. Well, speaking of family, what? Tell me about Logan. What's he like? QUINN: He's 6 years old, and he is adorable. And, you know, he's a little freaked out about Clay being his father, but... HALEY: He'll come around. He's obviously a tough kid. It'll take time. It's got to be really hard growing up without a father, you know? Clay hears the end of the conversation. Haley is embarrassed. HALEY: Hey. CLAY: Hey. HALEY: Hey. Congratulations, dad. CLAY: Thanks. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Ted is still with her daughter. TED; Oh, look at that. BROOKE: I know you're probably wondering how the line is coming. Ah, here we go. I've been a bit busy, what with the cafe and the psychopath and my friend's missing husband, but I have managed to sketch a few rough samples. TED: I have no doubt they are top-notch, but I came to town because I was concerned about you. So for now, no business. That sound okay? BROOKE: Sounds perfect. TED: Good. HOSPITAL Nathan sees Lydia walking. NATHAN: Haley. Haley, wake up. Look at Lydia... she's walking. Come here. Mommy. You can do it. Oh. Mommy. Mommy. Good girl. Good girl. Mommy. (Haley is crying) NATHAN: Yeah! Hey. Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong? HALEY: I've just been trying to hold it all together for so long. It's just she started... She started walking when you were gone, and I just started thinking, what if you never came home? And what would I do? I don't know how I would live without you, how I would go on. I can't wake up every morning without you next to me, and I can't imagine it. NATHAN: Okay, okay. Hey, hey. You know what I kept imagining the whole time I was kidnapped? Opening up the door to our home and seeing you. It's what kept me going... The thought of us together. It's all we ever need to think about. SOUND STAGE Julian read again the Lucas's book and has an idea. HOSPITAL Jamie plays a game with Nathan. Clay sees them through the window. NATHAN: All right. Whatcha gonna do about that, huh? JAMIE: Big mistake. NATHAN: What?! Oh-ho-ho! Are you serious? When did you get so good at this game? You been playing with mom? BRULIAN'S HOUSE Ted lunches with Brooke and Julian. TED: Everything looks so good...Except that. That looks a little too much like what came out of Jude today. BROOKE: He does that all the time, you know? He's probably doing it right now. (Julian is back) TED: Hey, hey. Brooke and I had a fantastic day. How about you, Julian? JULIAN: I think I finally found a project for my sound stage. I've been reading "an unkindness of ravens" again. I really love that story. BROOKE: Well, of course you do. It's the book that made you fall in love with me. JULIAN: The scope of the story just seems so much bigger than a movie. Maybe it could be a TV show. TED: I always liked that book. BROOKE: You read that book? TED: Of course I did. It was about my little girl. It got some things wrong. New York wasn't your first fashion show. You had that in our living room when you were 8. She dressed up all her dolls, then when those ran out, she started putting clothes on every piece of furniture in the house. BROOKE: I... cannot believe you remember that. I stretched mom's favorite dress over a lamp. She got so mad. TED: Only because it looked better than her. (Cellphone rings) TED: Excuse me. JULIAN: It seems like you two are having fun. BROOKE: So much fun. I couldn't have asked for a better day. Haley has Nathan back, my husband is inspired, and... It feels like I finally have the father I always wanted. It's literally been... Too good to be true. GRAND PARENTS' LOGAN HOUSE Clay convinces Sam again. CLAY: I know you told me to stay away, but I've already been away for too long.Look, I-I don't just remember Logan, Sam. I remember wanting him. I remember bringing him home from the hospital and how happy we were to have a son. And now that I remember, it's impossible to imagine how I ever forgot. But I did because of how much I love Sara. But I'm here now because of how much I love Logan. Look... I once proved to you that I was worthy enough to marry your daughter, and I'm gonna prove to you that I can be a good father to Logan.I know that he's all you have left of Sara. But he's all that I have left of her, too. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Julian, Brooke and Ted lunch. TED: I've got an idea. How about tomorrow night, I cook dinner for you two? We'll throw some steaks on the grill. JULIAN: Sounds good. BROOKE: Thanks, daddy. I have to ask, did you really come to town just to spend time with me? There's no other reason? TED: Okay, you caught me. Yeah. I have some great news.We have an offer to sell Baker man. BROOKE: Sell it? It... doesn't even exist yet. TED: That's why it's such great news. A large chain is willing to pay a fortune just for your name and idea. Of course, the final decision is up to you. So, what do you think? BROOKE: I think I need to go check on the boys. Excuse me. HOSPITAL Nathan and Jamie still play. NATHAN: Do you have any queens? JAMIE: Nope. Go fish. NATHAN: So I guess it must've been pretty tough for you when I was gone, huh? JAMIE: Yeah. Being the man of the house isn't easy. NATHAN: No, sometimes it isn't. JAMIE: You know what's cool?We've both been kidnapped, and grandpa Dan saved both of us. NATHAN: Yeah. I guess that is pretty cool. JAMIE: Now that you two are getting along, can we all go camping when he gets out? NATHAN: Grandpa Dan isn't getting out of the hospital this time, Jamie. JAMIE: He'll be all right. He's grandpa Dan. You always say Scott men are tough. NATHAN: They are. He's the toughest guy I know. But he's dying, Jamie. Right now, he needs you to be tough for him. JAMIE: Did you tell Lydia yet? NATHAN: No, I didn't. JAMIE: I'll tell her. She'll take it better coming from me. NATHAN: Told you Scott men were tough. FLASHBACK Dan memories. DAN You can't kill Dan Scott! You could get yourself killed out here. HOSPITAL Haley comes to see Dan with Lydia. DAN: Hey. HALEY: Hi. DAN: Hi, Lydia. HALEY: I talked with Lucas. He's not coming. I'm sorry. DAN: Well, I wasn't there for his life. Can't expect him to be here while I'm dying. Besides...I robbed him of the only father he ever knew. Haley, I never apologized to you. Keith was a big part of your life. And I took him from you, too. Haley...I'm so sorry. HALEY: I can't thank you enough for bringing Nathan home. DAN: I couldn't have done it without you. You know, I used to think no one was ever good enough for my son. But I am so happy to be proven wrong. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, and you're the best thing that ever happened to him. HALEY: Would you like to hold Lydia? DAN: I would. HALEY: Yeah. Want to go say hi? Say hi. DAN: It's too bad she'll never get to know me. Then again, maybe that's a good thing. JAMIE: I know I'm supposed to be tough. I don't want you to go. DAN: It's okay, buddy. I'm not feeling that tough right now, either. HALEY: When Lydia asks about her grandpa Dan. We will tell her how much he loved his grandchildren. GRAND PARENTS' LOGAN HOUSE Clay give a present to Logan. CLAY: Hey. I brought you something. LOGAN: Cool... an airplane! CLAY: No, not just any airplane. That's the x-jet. That's what Wolverine and his friends use. I don't blame you for being mad at me. I'm mad at me, too. I'm mad that I left, and I'm mad that it took me so long to come back. LOGAN: Then why didn't you? CLAY: Well, when your mom went away, I got sick. But Dr. Alvarez helped me get better, and now I'm here to make it up to you. LOGAN: Did you love my mommy? CLAY: More than anything in the world. Okay, I'm gonna go, but...I'd like to come back and see you more often. I hope that'll be okay. LOGAN: What if you wander away again? CLAY: Well, I wasn't wandering away. I was looking for something. And I found what I was looking for...You. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke is in the boys' bedroom. Julian joins her. JULIAN: You okay? BROOKE: Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? I took an idea and a few sketches to my dad, and he's already turned it into potentially a huge profit. He's a great businessman. JULIAN: Maybe, but he's a horrible father. You didn't bring Baker man to him because he's a good businessman. You brought it to him because he's your dad and you wanted a relationship with him. BROOKE: You get it, so why doesn't he? JULIAN: Well, my dad didn't, either, until I gave him a push in the right direction. Maybe that's what your dad needs. So try telling him exactly how you feel. FLASHBACK Dan memories HOSPITAL Deb is near to Dan. DAN: Am I in hell? DEB: Not yet. But it's good to see you still have your sense of humor. DAN: How many times have you dreamed about standing over my deathbed? DEB: Mm, well, actually, I kind of thought you'd outlive us all and end up dancing on my grave. DAN: That was the plan. DEB: You did a good thing, Dan. Our son is alive because of you. DAN: Nothing on this earth could stop me from bringing him home. Besides... I've done enough awful things in this life. I think I was due. DEB: Is there anything you need? DAN: Yeah. I need you to stop blaming yourself for Keith's death. I know you carry the guilt around with you, but it's not your fault. I took his life. Just me. You had no part in it. Deb. So... How about one more... for old time's sake? Of course, you'll have to do all the work. DEB: Oh, as usual. Nathan is in a other room and Haley comes in. Nathan is upset. NATHAN: I spent so much time hating him. HALEY: He didn't give you much reason to love him. NATHAN: How can you be so strong? I mean, I've never lost anyone the way that you have... Your mom, your dad. How did you do it? HALEY: With you and Jamie... And our friends. I'm here for you. And they are, too. NATHAN: Yeah, but that's just it. I never thought I needed it. I was never close with my parents the way that you were with yours, you know? And now that Dan is dying, I just... All I can think about is how much time I've wasted just hating him. HALEY: You had a good reason. You were trying to protect your family. NATHAN: Why do I feel so bad? HALEY: Because you are a good man. You're one of the best I know, Nathan Scott. NATHAN: I don't feel like a good man. HALEY: One of the good things about my mom finding out that she only had a little time left... Was that we got to say goodbye to each other. It really helped to have that closure. Maybe that's what you need. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke and Julian gets out the bedroom and are in the living room. She wants to talks with her dad. TED: You two deciding what to do with all your new money? BROOKE: I don't want to sell the company. TED: May I ask why? BROOKE: Because I already had to sell clothes over bros, and I want to have something of my own again. TED: You said yourself that the line doesn't even exist yet. That's why it makes such good sense to sell it. BROOKE: That's not the point, daddy. The point of this was for us to do something together. TED: And we did that. But it's a business. And the smart business move is to sell. BROOKE: I'm sorry, daddy, but my answer is no. TED: Don't be foolish. I've already put together the paperwork for you. BROOKE: I thought that you said the final decision in this was up to me. TED: It is. I just expected that you'd make the right one. BROOKE: You knew I wouldn't want to sell. And that's the whole reason that you flew down here. It wasn't to check on me or spend time with your little girl. You came here to put on a show. TED: What show? BROOKE: Playing with my boys and this whole father/daughter "let's not talk business" day, dinner, stories about me when I was a kid. I can't believe it. I'm just another client to you, another deal you had to close. TED: Brooke, don't be ridiculous. You're over-reacting. BROOKE: No. Julian thought that you could use a push in the right direction. How's this? Get out! TED: Brooke... BROOKE: Go! I want you out of here. I cannot believe I am such a sucker. You want Baker man? Fine, take it. I do not want any part of it! TED: Y-you're acting like a child. BROOKE: How would you know? You weren't around when I was a child. Get out! Congratulations, daddy. You closed the deal. Guess what... I can close things, too. GRAND PARENTS' LOGAN HOUSE Quinn waits in the car and sees Clay gets out with Logan. She meets them. CLAY: Logan, this is Quinn. QUINN: Hi, Logan. LOGAN: Hi. CLAY: Quinn, this is Logan, my son. QUINN: It's nice to meet you. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke is sad. JULIAN: I like the cargo pockets on the shorts. Kids should have to carry their own diapers. BROOKE: He tricked me. I fell for his charm, like I always do, and... He left me like he always does. JULIAN: He just doesn't know you. If he would spend one real second with you, he would know that you're the most caring, most loving, most amazing person in the world. BROOKE: If you make the "ravens" TV show, can you make him get hit by a bus or something? JULIAN: I'll probably just leave him out. A character who doesn't love Brooke Davis...I wouldn't even know how to write that. Hey. BROOKE: Why doesn't my dad want me? HOSPITAL Nathan talks to his father. NATHAN: Dad. RIVERCOURT Dan imagines the scene in the Rivercourt. NATHAN: Dad? Why does this have to be so difficult? You're my father, so I should love you, but... I've spent so much of my life hating you. DAN: I was a terrible father. I know that. NATHAN: You know, I can justify a lot of the screwed-up things that you've done. You bullied me because you wanted to make me tough. You tried to ruin my marriage because you wanted me to have a career. You even burned down your diner just because you wanted to see me again. But I can't understand how you could murder your own brother. And I'm worried. I'm worried that when you're gone, that's all I'll remember. And I'll still hate you for it. DAN: You should hate me for it. So why did you do it? I was always jealous of Keith, even when we were kids. I was athletic, popular, all the things that he wasn't. But still, I was jealous of him. People were drawn to Keith, and I hated him for it. NATHAN: So you shot him because people liked him more? DAN: The day I shot Keith, I was in a dark place. I was convinced that he tried to kill me. I'd lost you, divorced your mom. My life was spiraling downwards, and meanwhile, Keith was building a new life with my high-school sweetheart and the child that I abandoned. Every time I looked at him, I felt like I was punched in the gut. NATHAN: So what happened in that hallway? DAN: Keith wanted to go into the school to save that kid. So I let him go... Hoping he'd get shot. Let him be the hero... As long as he was a dead hero. And then I thought... "Why should he be the hero when it could be me?" So I followed him in. Jimmy was crying. And Keith was telling him, "it gets better. That pain in your heart, that voice in your head that tells you there's no way out... It's wrong. It gets better." And I felt like he was talking to me. And in that moment, maybe... The most heroic... Kindest moment of my big brother's life... I hated him. I hated him more than anyone or anything, because nothing had gotten better. That pain was still in my heart. That voice in my headsaying that there's no way out was right! And he was standing there, lying to me. And after Jimmy died, I picked up the gun, and I aimed it at Keith. And he looked at me. And all I could think of was how everything that had gone wrong in my life was his fault... And it wasn't gonna get better until he was gone. Just pull the trigger, and it all ends. So I pulled that trigger. And it didn't end. It got worse. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. NATHAN: There are a lot of people that you need to say "I'm sorry" too. But I'm not one of them. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for you... My career, my family... My life. No matter what you've done, you're still my father. You're my father, and I love you. DAN: Oh, Nathan...I love you, too. You know...We never got a chance to play a game together on the rivercourt. How about it? NATHAN: What do you want to play to? DAN: Let's not keep score. For once, let's just play to play. (Monitor beeping) NATHAN: Dad? HOSPITAL Nathan understands Dan is dead. NATHAN: Dad. Dad? Dad, hey. Hey! (Beeping continues) NATHAN: Dad, come on. Nathan runs to warn someone. Dan is in the other side. He sees her brother. DAN: Keith. KEITH: Hi, Danny. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY Keith and Dan are in the hallway. DAN: What are we doing back here, Keith? KEITH: I don't think either one of us ever really left, Danny. DAN: Keith... If I could take it back... KEITH: Well, you can't. I think we both know that. DAN: I'm so sorry... For that day and every day before it. KEITH: I know you are, Danny. And I forgive you. DAN: I took you away from everyone and everything you ever cared about... How can you just forgive me? KEITH: Well, you're dead, Dan. If I can't forgive you now, when can I? Look, Danny, you've done some horrific things. You can't change that, and you can't take it back. Since then, you've done everything you could to make up for it. You've become a better man. DAN: I lied about my heart transplant. My book and show were a fraud. I set my own diner on fire. KEITH: Well, I didn't say you were perfect. But nobody is. But you learned what's important. You learned to put friends and family first. And you've become the selfless, kind person that I always wanted for a brother. DAN: Like the kind of brother you were. For so many years, I was so jealous of you. I should've been trying to be more like you. I should've been proud of you. I am proud of you. I love you, Keith. KEITH: I love you, too, Danny. Come on. They see all his family gather into him in hospital's bed. KEITH: I told you the voice was wrong. It gets better. Come on, little brother. Take a walk with me. Dan and Keith go on the white light. DAN: I know where you're going. But what about me? KEITH: Don't worry, little brother. You're my "plus one." End of the episode. IN MEMORY ON JOANNE LEONE JOHANSSON 1936-2011	Plan: A: Dan; Q: Whose life hangs in the balance after Nathan is rescued? A: the balance; Q: What does Dan's life hang in after rescuing Nathan? A: Brooke's father; Q: Who surprises Brooke when he comes back into town? A: Logan; Q: Who do Clay and Quinn reconnect with? A: Andy Williams; Q: What artist is the episode named after? Summary: After successfully rescuing Nathan, Dan's life hangs in the balance. Nathan looks back on his father's life and forgives him for all he has done. Brooke's father surprises her when he comes back into town. Clay and Quinn reconnect with Logan. Episode is named after a song by Andy Williams .
Ted from 2030: Kids, something you might not know about your Uncle Marshall is that he's always been good at games. I mean, unbeatable. Gin! Yahtzee! Poker! Ted: You don't have to shout out "poker" when you win. Marshall: I know. It's just fun to say. Ted from 2030: We all finally agreed Marshall should be running our game nights instead of playing in them. Which he took to mean, "invent your own game." The Bar Marshall: It's called "Marsh-gammon." It combines all the best features of all the best games... Candy Land, I Never, Pictionary. Robin: Backgammon, obviously. Marshall: No. Backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the "gammon," and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs. Lily: I'm so excited Victoria's coming. Robin: I'm going to go get another round. Ted: Okay, I want to lay down some ground rules for tonight. Barney, I actually like Victoria... a lot, so don't say anything embarrass... Don't say anything. And guys, I haven't exactly told Victoria that I used to have a kind of thing for Robin, so we you could just avoid the... Barney: Well, well, well. How rich. You make me promise to be on my best behavior around your girlfriend, yet, you have been lying to her since day one. Excuse me.Hi. Leg Warehouse? Yeah, my friend Ted needs something to stand on. So, nothing for him to stand on? Okay, and thanks so much. Ted, doesn't Victoria deserve to know that you once had the hots for Robin? I have half a mind to tell the story of the re-return. Ted: No. I-I swore you to secrecy on that. Lily: Ooh, I am smelling dirt. What is the story of the re-return? Ted: Nothing. It's nothing. And speaking of digging up dirt, can I count on you two to behave around Victoria? Lily: Us? What would we do? Ted: Look, um, you guys have always been like the parents that I still have and, in fact, moved here to get away from. However, could we skip the traditional interrogation of the new girlfriend tonight? Marshall: Fine. Lily: Fine. Ted: Thank you. Lily: I should go help Robin. Robin: Hey. Lily: Hey. So, are you going to be okay hanging out with Victoria tonight? Robin: Oh, sure. She's great. Oh, what? Because of the whole thing where I said I liked Ted? No. Victoria's great. She's fun, she's free-spirited, she's great. I said, "She's great" too many times, didn't I? Lily: You must really hate the bitch. The appartment Marshall: But if you roll an even number while adjacent to the Peppermint Forest, then you "Marshall out," and all your chips go into the pot, and remember, if you ever ask the question "What?", then... you got to drink. Got it? All: No Marshall: Okay, okay, no, no, we'll just start, you guys'll pick it up. Newbie goes first. Roll. Victoria: Okay. Marshall: Three! You got Autobiography. Now, that's where you have to answer a personal question about your dating life truthfully in order to move on. Ted: Marshall, come on. Marshall: Hey, she's the one who rolled a three. Victoria, "Have you ever cheated while in a relationship?" Wow, good question. Ted: You don't have to answer that. Victoria: It's okay. Um, well, I was in a really crappy relationship in college, and I wound up kissing this guy at a party one night, and I felt terrible about it, so, I came clean, and we broke up. Marshall: Victoria, that was an honest and mature answer. You may advance to The Gumdrop Mountains. Barney: So Victoria, did you ever re-return to this guy? Victoria: What? Marshall: You said what, you got to drink! Lily: Oh, Barney, by the way, I went to a party in that new building on 82nd, and the host said she knew you. What is her name? Sharon? Shannon? Barney: Shannon?! Shannon, Shannon... No, don't remember any Shannon. Lily: Really? Well, 'cause she gave me a videotape to give... Barney: Where's the tape? Lily: Fine. I'll go get it. Barney: Cool, okay. You know, whenever. Marshall: Okay, Robin, your roll. Five! Another Autobiography... for the player to your left, which... Victoria! Ted: Of course. Marshall: Victoria, "How many boyfriends did you have before you started dating Ted?" Ted: Wait, the card actually says "Ted?" Victoria: Okay, uh, well, boyfriends--I guess I've only had... two. Robin: Prude alert. Victoria: Well... that's serious boyfriends. I've dated other guys in between. Robin: Oh, slut alert! Barney: Oh, great, there it is. Thanks, Lily. You're a peach. Oh, wow, look at that. Robin landed on the Chocolate Swamp. That's five chips for me. Marshall: Thank you! Finally somebody understands Marsh-gammon. Lily: Barney, what was on that tape? Barney: Too bad you'll never find out. Lily: Oh, damn it! If only I'd given you a fake tape and hidden the real tape in my purse. Oh, wait. That's exactly what I did. Barney: What?! Marshall: Drink! Lily: Yeah, you were acting so weird about it, I gave you Ted's graduation tape instead. So, should we pop it in? Barney: Give it to me, give it, give me... Ted: Play the tape, play it, play it! Barney: Ted! Fine, fine. You cannot play it. Shannon! I love you! I love you so much. What about us changing the world together? Don't tell me you've forgotten. I know I haven't. Will I ever see another rainbow? Will an eagle ever soar through this tempest of woe? Baby, please Don't go There's a thief in the palace, she's stolen all my love There's a thief in the palace and she's... (Barney stands up and leave the appartment) The Bar Marshall: Did you try his cell phone? Ted: Yeah, I left two messages. I checked the cigar club, the Lusty Leopard. He's off the grid. (Barney arrives) Barney: Hey, guys, what up? Robin: Barney, where have you been? Ted: Yeah, we're-we're really sorry about that. Lily: Yeah, so sorry. But seriously, what was up with the tape? No, no, stay. All: Come on. Stay! Barney: I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about it. It was the most embarrassing, and humiliating thing that ever happened to me. Marshall: Well, we all have embarrassing stories. Sometimes it's good to-to talk about it. Barney: Oh, really? Then why don't you tell us your most humiliating moment, Marshall? Show me how good it is. Marshall: All right. [FLASHBACK] Marshall: I was stopping by Lily's kindergarten class to say hi, but they were all at recess. I really had to pee, so I went into the class's restroom. It was a-a smaller target than I'm used to, so I figured I should sit down. What I didn't realize was, it was a shared bathroom. I wish I'd pulled up my pants. [END OF FLASHBACK] Lily: The kids still call him Funny Butt. Barney: Okay. I'll tell you my story. Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today. [FLASHBACK] Barney: It was 1998. I was just out of college, and I was working at a coffeehouse with my girlfriend. My girlfriend... Shannon. Yeah, you were meant for me And I was meant for you. Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh. Thank you. All right. Shannon: I love your singing, Barney. Barney: And I love you, Shannon. Shannon: Joining the Peace Corps with you is gonna be legendary. Barney: I know. Only five short weeks till we're down in Nicaragua. Man: Hey, nonfat latte to go. Barney: Mellow order, bro, mellow order. Man: Dude, that your g-friend? All right, high five! Barney: Sorry, I only give high twos. Man: Whatevs. As long as you're nailing that. Barney: Listen to you. That? You know, women aren't objects. They're human beings. And FYI, Shannon and I have decided to wait till we're married. You can read about it in my zine. Man: Hey, haircut, right here. Open up your knowledge basket, 'cause here it comes. Forget that touchy-feely crap. You get money, you get laid. End of discussion. Barney: I feel sorry for you, man. Man: Peace out, hombre. Barney: Suits. Five weeks later, we were all set to leave for the Peace Corps. Only problem was... she never showed up. [END OF FLASHBACK] Robin: She never showed? Ted: So, what happened next? Barney: You know what? This was a mistake. Lily: Wait... What if somebody else told their most humiliating story? Marshall: Oh, I know just how to decide who. Lily: You brought the game to the bar? Marshall: Well, we're not quitting just 'cause Ted's so far ahead. Ted: I was winning? Robin: Fine. I'll go next. [SCENE_BREAK] [FLASHBACK] Robin: I was doing a report on live TV about a hansom cab driver. [END OF FLASHBACK] Barney: Not the slipping-in-horse-poop story! Ted: Yeah, we all know that one. Victoria: Okay, how about this? I will tell you my most humiliating story. Marshall: Yeah, Victoria, way to step up! Victoria: Okay, it involves a game of truth or dare, a squeeze-bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparents' retirement community. Ted from 2030: Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way in hell I'm telling you this one. Don't worry, though, it wasn't that great. Marshall: That is the greatest story ever! Lily: Oh my God! Ted: Wow, wow! Barney: Victoria, I deem your offering... worthy. My saga... continues. [FLASHBACK] Barney: I went back to the coffeehouse to find Shannon. Shannon: Barney. Barney: Sugar Bear, where were you? Shannon: Oh, I'm sorry. My dad won't let me go. Barney: But the Nicaraguans need us! Shannon: It's just, he's still supporting me, and... Look, he's coming by soon to talk about it, but I think you should go on without me. Barney: Shannon, there is no... Shannon: Barney, it's your dream. It's only two years. I know we can make it. Barney: As I walked away, I realized Shannon was an adult. Her father couldn't control her life. I had to go back and confront him. She was in the middle of a heated argument with her dad. [END OF FLASHBACK] What?! Marshall: Now we all got to drink. (They all drink, except Barney) Ted: Oh, my God. What happened next? Barney: I don't know, guys. Lily: Okay, okay. Marshall's mom sent us cookies... Marshall: Lily, no! Lily: For the team, Marshall, for the team. [FLASHBACK] (Lily's on the phone) Lily: Hey, Mrs. Eriksen, it's Lily. Thank you so much for the delicious cookies. Mayonnaise. Really? Never would have guessed. Well, I will definitely give Marshall a kiss for you. Okay. Take care. Marshall: Oh, crap. My mom sent cookies? Lily: Yeah. I wish we had a dog, so they wouldn't go to waste. Marshall: So we've got the whole place to ourselves. Lily: I'm thinking floor sx. Marshall: Sounds reasonable. Lily: Ooh, floor's cold. Grab that afghan your mom made. (Marshall's mom was stil on the phone...) [END OF FLASHBACK] Robin: The whole time? Lily: The... whole... time. Marshall: Barney, that was really embarrassing for both of us. We just earned a huge chunk of story. Barney: Right. So where was I? Oh, yeah. Shannon was sucking face with her dad. [FLASHBACK] Barney: How can... With your dad? I mean, I know judge not lest ye be judged, but gross! Shannon: Barney, that's not my dad. His name's Greg. I've been seeing him for a few weeks. I was hoping you'd just leave, and we could avoid all this. Barney: We're breaking up? But what about the Peace Corps? Shannon: Yeah, all this granola business, it was just a phase. Greg's older. He's successful. He buys me all this cool stuff. Barney: But I love you. Shannon: But he has a boat. You should go to the Peace Corps and forget about me. Barney: I didn't go. That night, I recorded my video and mailed it to Shannon. I didn't see her until a week later. There's sugar in the basket. Shannon! Shannon, you came back! Shannon: I'm just picking up my last paycheck. Barney: Oh. Did you... did you get my tape? Man: Oh, she got the tape. Barney: You? It was you? Man: Will I ever see another rainbow Oh, man. (Barney leaves the coffee shop, crying. A man gives him a flyer on which you can read "Suit up". He grabs his hair and cut them short. He then shaves and put on a suit) [END OF FLASHBACK] Lily: Oh, you poor thing. Barney: The story's not over. I did see Shannon one more time. Robin: When? Marshall: Sorry. Lily: You've got to tell us. Barney: I don't know, I think I might need one last story to get me through it. Ted: Fine. Um... oh! The green testicle story. So I was playing ultimate frisbee in college and there was this barefoot dude with weirdly sharp toenails... Barney: Oh, come on, Ted! You know what story I want to hear. Everyone else here has manned up tonight and told the truth. Why can't you? Ted: You're right. Victoria, I'm sorry I haven't told you this yet, but a while back, I was kind of into Robin. In fact, on our first date, I might have said, "I love you." Understandably, she freaked out and I left. But unfortunately, the night did not end there. [FLASHBACK] Ted: We all ended up at the bar with our cab driver Ranjit. Ranjit: To one hell of a night! Ted: And I drank... a lot. So you guys think I should have kissed her? Well, I'll tell you what, I'm gonna go kiss her right... now. Barney: Yes! Do it! Ranjit: To the cab. (Ted arrives in front of Robin's door, he throws up on her doormat) Robin: Hello? Is someone out there? ( Ted, Barney et Ranjit run out. Robin opens her door, et sees her doormat...) [END OF FLASHBACK] Lily: You ralphed and ran? Marshall: I thought you were vomit-free since '93. So that was a lie? Robin: You re-returned for me. That's really sweet. Though you kind of ruined my customized Scherbotsky doormat. Ted: Sorry. Robin: It's okay. Ted: Victoria, I know this must be... Victoria: Yeah. It kind of is. Barney: Wow, Ted, you were right. You shouldn't have told that story. But you did earn yourself the right to the end of mine. We fast-forward eight years into the future. Marshall: Wait, eight years, that's, that's this year. Barney: Marshall, not only is it this year, it's tonight. [FLASHBACK] Barney: Hi. Shannon: Barney? Barney: Hi, Shannon. Shannon: What are you doing here? Barney: Just listen. When you left me for that guy Greg, it changed me. Now I'm this. I-I know this is crazy. It's just, you were once such a big part of my life. And it just seemed insane that you didn't know who I am now. So here I am. And then she told me about her life. [END OF FLASHBACK] Barney: She and Greg dated for a while and then split up. But here's the real kicker: Shannon's a mom. She has a little kid named Max. That's crazy. That could have been my kid. But instead, what do I have? My whole life's some money in the bank, some suits in my closet and a string of one-night stands. Lily: Hey. Come on. I mean, just because her life went one way and yours went another, it doesn't make your life any worse. Barney: My life rocks! Money, suits and sx. These are tears of joy! I could be cooped up in some tiny apartment changing some brat's poopy diapers. But instead, I'm out in the world being awesome 24-7, 365! You let me dodge a bullet, Big Guy. Plus, here's the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life. After Shannon and I talked, I nailed her. Lily: Nope. Barney: Yeah. Lily: Nope. Barney: Yeah. Lily: Sorry. Don't buy it. You're making it up. You're just trying to cover the fact that you actually had a profound moment of doubt about yourself and... Oh, my God. Shannon: Oh, Barney! Barney: Video's pretty good on this phone, huh? Shannon: Is your phone on? Barney: Oh, no. It just takes a while to power down. Lily: Ew, gross. Just stop it. Barney: Ladies, gentlemen... Ted. This has been a wonderful evening. I got great dirt on all you guys. I got Ted to tell the re-return. I finally nailed Shannon! Told her I'd call her tomorrow. Yeah, right. And I rediscovered just how awesomely awesome my life is. Peace out, hombres! (Barney leaves the bar) Marshall: I think Barney just won game night. Ted from 2030: We spend so much effort trying to keep parts of our lives hidden even from our closest friends. But those rare times when we do open up, it's amazing how minor those secrets all end up seeming. Of course, not every secret was told that night. But that's getting ahead of the story.	Plan: A: Barney's first girlfriend; Q: Who is Shannon? A: their most embarrassing moments; Q: What do the gang relive to persuade Barney to finish talking about his first relationship? A: a devoted boyfriend; Q: What was Barney's first relationship like? A: a story; Q: What did Shannon fabricate to leave Barney? A: a wealthier, better-dressed man; Q: What did Shannon leave Barney for? A: life; Q: What did Barney change his outlook on after Shannon left him? Summary: When Lily chances upon Barney's first girlfriend, Shannon, the gang all relive their most embarrassing moments in order to persuade Barney to finish talking about his first relationship. Back when Barney was dating Shannon, he was a devoted boyfriend. However, when Shannon fabricates a story in order to leave Barney for a wealthier, better-dressed man, Barney changes his outlook on life to become who he is today.
[ Space ] [SCENE_BREAK] ( Heavy breathing ) Clara: Doctor! Doctor! The Doctor (O.C.): Yes, you're the very next thing on the list. Clara: Doctor, help me! The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, I'm under attack from four and a bit battle fleets... [SCENE_BREAK] [ TARDIS / Space ] [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: In case you think I'm slacking. Clara: Doctor, I think there's something in my space suit. The Doctor: Yes, that's possible, actually. You were too long in the spider mines. Clara: OK, explain? The Doctor: It's possibly a Love Sprite. Sucks your brain sucks your brain out through your mouth, hence the name. Clara: It's halfway up my leg. The Doctor: Don't worry, it's just hungry. Clara: Doctor... The Doctor: Describe the four most interesting stars you can see. Clara: There's a blue one, quite big. Two little yellowish ones just below. The Doctor: Colour of whisky, smaller one blinking? Clara: Yes! It's on the back of my neck, I can feel it. The Doctor: Great! I thought asphyxiation would kill you first. Can you see a nebula...? Can you see a nebula in a sort of wing-shape? Bit green at the end? Clara: Yes! Yes, I can. The Doctor: Great, I've seen it too. I wondered where it was. Clara: Doctor! DOCTOR! [SCENE_BREAK] [ TARDIS ] [SCENE_BREAK] ( She coughs and splutters ) ( Love sprite splatters ) ( She coughs ) Clara: How did we do? The Doctor: Oh, not a word about my spot-on materialisation skills! Clara: What about all the Velosians? Are they safe? The Doctor: Huh? Oh, yeah. Well, I lured their attackers halfway across the universe and drained their weapons banks. Not to mention, I also saved a school teacher from having her brains devoured and being asphyxiated in deep space. So, now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go outside and wipe my boot on the grass. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Forest ] [SCENE_BREAK] Clara: What's to stop them re-arming and trying again? The Doctor: Nothing. But the Velosians will be ready for them this time. It's the best I could do, Clara. I'm not actually the police, that's just what it says on the box. Clara: You're always talking about what you can and can't do but you never tell me the rules. The Doctor: We're time travellers. We tread softly. It's OK to make ripples, but not tidal waves. Clara: You are a tidal wave. The Doctor: Don't say that. ( Swords scrape ) Clara: Doctor...? The Doctor: No, no, not Vikings. I'm not in the mood for Vikings. Nollarr: You're coming with us. The Doctor: No, I'm not. Do you want to know why? ( They grunt angrily ) The Doctor: On my face, right now, more advanced technology than your species will manage over the next nine million years. ( Sonic sunglasses whir ) The Doctor: Clara... Clara: Yeah? The Doctor: .. we're going with the Vikings. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Village ] [SCENE_BREAK] ( Horn blasts ) ( Clamouring and yelling ) ( Cheering ) Ashildr: You're back! All of you! Are all of you back? Nollarr: I suppose so, I haven't counted. Hasten: I'm back! Ashildr: I had a dream you'd all died. It was so real, I thought I'd made it happen. Nollarr: Well, if it ever does, I'm sure you'll a find some way to blame yourself. Ashildr: I wish none of you had to go! Clara: Plan, Doctor? Any time soon. The Doctor: I do have a plan. Clara: Yeah, so you keep saying for two days on a longboat. The Doctor: Well, only because you were looking worried. Clara: Only because you kept saying, "I do have a plan." The Doctor: I do have a plan. Clara: There you go. Clara: You all right? Do you know her? The Doctor: Never seen her before in my life. Clara: OK, so, why are you staring? The Doctor: I don't know. Nothing, probably. Too much time travel, it happens. Clara: What happens? The Doctor: People talk about premonition as if it's something strange. It's not. It's just remembering in the wrong direction. Clara: OK, plan. The Doctor: We meet the boss man and we do the usual. Clara: Which is? The Doctor: Replace him. Nollarr: Father... Clara: How? The Doctor: To the primitive mind, advanced technology can seem like magic. Clara: It's going to be the yo-yo again, isn't it? The Doctor: Yeah. It's in my pocket somewhere. Nollarr: We have travelled far and fought... Clara: How did you do that?! The Doctor: Magic. Nollarr: Miracle, and much treasure. ( Shouting and jangling ) Nollarr: How dare you attack our Chieftain! The Doctor: I am very, very cross with you. I am very disappointed. I have taken human form to walk among you. Nollarr: Who are you, old man? The Doctor: Do you not recognise the sign... of Odin? Nollarr: You are not Odin, and that is not Odin's sign. The Doctor: Oh, and you would know that how, exactly? Have you met Odin? Do you know what Odin looks like? ( Thunderclap ) ( They whimper ) ( Heavenly choir ) Odin: Oh, my people. I am Odin. And now your day of reward has finally dawned. The Doctor: Do not believe this foolish trickery! The Doctor: It's supposed to do that. Odin: Your mightiest warriors will feast with me tonight in the halls of Valhalla. The Doctor: Stay still. Stay very, very still. Clara: That's not really Odin, is it? The Doctor: He hasn't even got a yo-yo. Clara: So this is an invasion. The Doctor: Shh. No, this is a harvest. The strongest, the fittest... The weak and young, they'll leave behind. ( Bang ) Clara: We have to help them. The Doctor: We have to not get chosen. The Doctor: Clara. Clara, no! Clara: Have you still got the eye-patch thing? The Doctor: Clara. Clara: Point it at my chains and think the word open. Say it with your mind. The Doctor: Clara! Clara! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Spaceship ] [SCENE_BREAK] Hasten: Welcome to Valhalla, my ladies. ( Grunting and straining ) Clara: No, wait! Wait! Nollarr: There's nothing to fear, strange maiden. ( Propellers whir ) Nollarr: We are Odin's chosen. ( Creaking ) Hasten: The wall, it moves! Ashildr: Odin! Odin! Clara: Use your blades, try to jam it! Clara: Come on! Come on! Clara: Quick! Pull! Ashildr: I'm trying! Clara: Quickly! ( Propellers whir ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Village ] [SCENE_BREAK] Lofty: They took half the village. Heidi: Yeah, and it was the good half. Einarr: They went willingly to Valhalla... as would we all. Heidi: I wouldn't. Well, I wouldn't. I'm not good with heights. The Doctor: Oh, stop it! All of you, stop it right now. Homo sapiens, you're an intelligent species. Stop lying to yourselves. Einarr: Choose your words carefully, False Odin. The Doctor: Yes, I am a false Odin. That's exactly right, I lied. The big fella in the sky, he lied too. You all know it. Because what's the one thing that gods never do? Gods never actually show up! Guess what? You got raided. Guess what else? I lost someone who matters to me. Einarr: So did I. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Spaceship ] [SCENE_BREAK] Clara: Ssh! ( Hissing and bubbling ) Ashildr: Why are we still alive? Odin: Because of this. Odin: Explain. Clara: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you afraid. Odin: I have no reason to fear you. Clara: Except you've already analysed that and you know it's a technology from a civilisation vastly more powerful than your own. And er, you will have also noticed that... I'm wearing a space suit. So, I'm not from around here, and it's highly unlikely I will have come alone. You see, you haven't killed us because killing us would start a fight you didn't come here to have... and you're not sure you can win. Clara: Ooh, hello. Time for your medication? Odin: Adrenaline. Testosterone... extracted from the finest warriors. ( He exhales ) Odin: Ah! Nec...tar. Clara: OK, you mash up Vikings to make warrior juice, nice. Ashildr: They what? Clara: Why play God? Odin: What is a god but the cattle's name for farmer? What is heaven but the gilded door of the abattoir? Clara: You're not a farmer. You're a thief, caught in the act. Ashildr: I don't understand. "Mashed up"? What are you saying? Clara: Hush! Go, now. Go and find Vikings on other planets. The universe is full of testosterone. Trust me, it's unbearable. We won't follow you, see? We don't need to fight. Odin: War is our way. Clara: Ask yourself, is this a war you really want? Ashildr: Yes! You'll pay for what you have done here today. I am a Viking. Ashildr, daughter of Einarr. You have mocked our gods. Killed our warriors. And we will crush you on the field of battle. Odin: That's better! Clara: We were about to leave. Odin: You almost had me talking. Talk is for cowards. Clara: No, no, no, listen to me. Odin: I accept your challenge. Ashildr: We will crush you! Clara: Oh, please. Shut up. Odin: Shall we say this time tomorrow? Ten of my warriors versus the best of your village. Ashildr: You will beg for mercy! ( laughs ) Odin: I will send you back. You can inform your people of their impending destruction. Clara: Why are you doing this? Odin: Why else? The joy of war! Can't you see it on my face? ( Beep ) ( Squelching ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Village ] [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Clara? Einarr: My child! The Doctor: Clara! Clara! Clara! The Doctor: I'm not a hugger... Ahh! Let's hug! Clara: No! Einarr: Where are the others? Ashildr: I'm sorry, Father. The Doctor: I looked them up in my two thousand year diary. Clara: OK. The Doctor: They are called the Mire. Clara: Listen... The Doctor: They are one of the deadliest warrior races in the entire galaxy... Clara: OK. The Doctor: .. but they're practical. They get what they want and go. You persuaded them to go, didn't you? I knew that you would! Clara: The deadliest warrior race in the galaxy? The Doctor: One of them, yes. Why? Clara: Because I think this village just declared war on them. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Meeting House ] [SCENE_BREAK] Clara: They're coming here tomorrow, ten of them, to kill everybody in the village. Einarr: Ashildr... is this true? Ashildr: It's my fault. Einarr: Not every misfortune that befalls this village is down to you. She thinks she brings us bad luck. The Doctor: What bad luck? You haven't had any bad luck. You're fine. Limpy: We are about to be attacked by... The Doctor: Yes, yes, yes, yes. With a whole day to spare! So leave! Hop it, take off! Into the woods, split up, hide. Hang about there for a week, come back home, make puddings and babies; that's basically what you do, isn't it? Einarr: We cannot leave this village. The Doctor: Yes, you can. Just pick a direction. Fly like a bird, run like a nose. That's probably a Viking saying, I haven't checked that. Limpy: No. We will fight! ( They clamour ) All: Aye! The Doctor: Really? Well, I don't know if you remember, but they actually took away all your fighters. So, what are you? Farmers, fishermen, web designers. Maybe not that last one. ( Swords clatter ) Einarr: We are Vikings! ( They cheer ) The Doctor: OK... tell me this. How many people here have actually held a sword in battle? By a show of hands? Mmm hmm. Yeah, baby. The Doctor: The Mire are coming for each and every one of you. So what you going to do? Raise crops at them? Limpy: If necessary. Heidi: I think he was being sarcastic. Einarr: We're not cowards. We do not run. A death in battle is a death with honour. All: Aye! ( Baby cries ) The Doctor: Do babies die with honour? The Doctor: "I am afraid, Mother. Hold me, Mother... I am afraid." Clara: Um... he speaks Baby. The Doctor: "Turn your face towards me, Mother, for you... you're beautiful. And I will sing for you. I am afraid... but I will sing." Babies think that laughter is singing. Did you know that? I applaud your courage, but I deplore your stupidity. And I will mourn your deaths, which will be terrifying, painful, and... without honour. Ashildr: Stay. You could help us. I know you could. The Doctor: I told you to run. That's all the help you need. And that's all the help you're getting. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Village ] [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: The earth is safe, humanity is not in danger. It's just one village. Clara: "Just one village?" The Doctor: Suppose I saved it... by some miracle. No TARDIS, no sonic. "Just one village" defeats the Mire. What then? Word gets around. Earth becomes a target of strategic value, and the Mire come back. And God knows what else. Ripples into tidal waves... until everybody dies. ( Baby cries ) Clara: What's it saying? The Doctor: She. She's afraid. Babies sense danger. They have to. Clara: Tell me. The Doctor: "Mother, I hear thunder. Mother, I hear shouting. You are my world, but I hear other worlds now. Beyond the... unfolding of your smile... is there other kindness? I'm afraid. Will they be kind? The sky is crying now. Fire in the water." Fire in the water? ( Baby stops crying suddenly ) Clara: You just decided to stay. The baby stopped crying. The Doctor: So, when I say "Move", you move. When I say "Jump", you say "How high?" Unless it's across a gap of some kind which, of course, means you jump horizontally. Yes, what is it, Lofty? Lofty: Sorry, my name's not actually Lofty, it's Bro... The Doctor: No, it's not, it's Lofty. I've got too much to think about without everybody having their own names, so it's Lofty. You're Lofty, you're Daphne, you're Noggin the Nog, ZZ Top... and you're... Heidi. So, we'll try that again. Lofty, what is it? Lofty: Sorry, sir, it's just... why aren't we practising with real swords? The Doctor: Yes, perhaps you'd like to field this one, Limpy? Limpy: Because we can't be trusted with them. The Doctor: That's right, yes. You'll be given your real swords back when you can prove that you can wave them around without lopping bits off yourselves. Heidi, why are your eyes closed? Heidi: Sorry, sir. Just not that good with the sight of blood. The Doctor: No... of course you're not. Ashildr: Swords against those creatures. That won't work, will it? Clara: He's just warming up. He hasn't got a plan yet. But he will have... and it will be spectacular. ( The Doctor whistles loudly ) The Doctor: Enough theory. I'm handing out the real swords. ( He laughs ) ( Horn blasts ) ( Woman screams ) The Doctor: Well, that could have gone better. ( Heidi groans ) The Doctor: Morning. Heidi: What happened? The Doctor: The Big Bang, dinosaurs, bipeds, and a mounting sense of futility. Clara: More recently, Chuckles hit Lofty over the head, on his helmet, with his sword, which knocked him out. There was a little blood, which you saw and... did that. Only, the first time you did it, you knocked a torch onto some hay, which spooked a horse, who kicked open a gate, and er, I'm... sure you can fill in the rest. [SCENE_BREAK] ( Thunderclap ) Clara: Weird sounding thunder. The Doctor: That's not thunder. It's the weapon forges of the Mire. They're making sure we hear them. Clara: Well? The Doctor: Well, Heidi faints at the mention of blood, not just the sight any more. He's actually upgraded his phobia. Chuckles... he questions every single order you give him, which is going to be a little bit difficult, a little bit tricky, in the heat of battle. Clara: I keep waiting to hear what your real plan is. The Doctor: Teaching them to fight, that's the only plan I've got. Clara: Turning them into fighters? That's not like you. The Doctor: Yeah. I used to believe that too. Clara: What happened? The Doctor: You. Oh, Clara Oswald what have I made of you? Clara: It doesn't matter how well you train them, it's not going to make difference. The Doctor: They'll die fighting with honour. To a Viking, that's all the difference in the world. Clara: A good death? Is that the best they can hope for? The Doctor: A good death is the best anyone can hope for, unless you happen to be immortal. Ashildr: Sorry. Clara: No problem. The Doctor: Night. Clara: You've made an impact there. The Doctor: Stop it. Clara: She's nice. Fight you for her. The Doctor: The human race, you're obsessed. You all need to get a hobby. Clara: I've got a hobby, thanks. It's you, by the way. The Doctor: Well, get a new one. Clara: Not this. The Doctor: Tomorrow it's going to be a bloodbath. Clara: Don't even ask. The Doctor: These people all died hundreds of years before you were born... Clara: I'm not running. The Doctor: I have a duty of care. Clara: No, you don't, because I never asked for that. The Doctor: Every time we do something like this, I keep thinking, what if something happens to you? Clara: Well, stop thinking about me, and start think about them, because you're missing something. The Doctor: What? Clara: How you're going to win. You always miss it, right up until the last minute. So put down your sword, stop playing soldier and look for it. Start winning, Doctor. It's what you're good at. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Ashildr's home ] [SCENE_BREAK] Ashildr: So, we meet again, Fake Odin. Valhalla burns around you, your army is destroyed and now it is time for you to die! ( He clears throat ) Ashildr: How long have you been there? The Doctor: What's that? Is that a puppet? Oh, I love puppets! Ashildr: I make puppets sometimes, when I'm... The Doctor: Frightened? Ashildr: When the raiding parties go out, I make up stories about their battles. The Doctor: Because if you make up the right story, then you think it will keep them safe and they'll all come home. That's OK. You're not the first person to ever have done that. Ashildr: Why are you here? The Doctor: I'm looking for something I'm missing. What do you think our chances are tomorrow? Ashildr: We will be cut down like corn. By this time tomorrow, every single one of us will be dead. The Doctor: Yeah. The Doctor: You could go. Ashildr: There's nowhere for me except here. This is my place. The sky, the hills, the sea, the people... Is there nowhere like that for you? The Doctor: Oh, I like a nice view as much as anyone. Ashildr: But? The Doctor: Can't wait for the next one. Ashildr: I pity you. The Doctor: I will mourn for you. I know which I'd prefer. Ashildr: You think they're all idiots, don't you? The Doctor: What, you mean the rest of the universe? Basically, yes, I do. Ashildr: But they're kind and brave, and strong, and I love them. The Doctor: Good. Good. But that won't save you. Ashildr: I've always been different. All my life I've known that. The girls all thought I was a boy, the boys all said I was "just a girl". My head is always full of stories. I know I'm strange. Everyone knows I'm strange. But here I'm loved. You tell me to run to save my life. I tell you that leaving this place would be death itself. Einarr: I cannot keep you safe. I do not have the strength. But I will try to till the last beat of my heart. ( Baby cries ) Einarr: If you seek to mock me in this moment... The Doctor: No. No. No, you go ahead and you cry all you like. Speaking of crying, is that baby getting closer? The Doctor: Why has Lofty stolen a baby? Ashildr: That's his child. The Doctor: Oh. Where's he taking her? Ashildr: The boathouse. He takes her to the boathouse when she won't settle. She likes the fish. The Doctor: Why would she...? Fire in the water. Fire in the water. Fire in the... Fire in the water, fire in the water... Fire in the water! That's it, that's it. That's what I've been missing. Clara, I've found it! The Doctor: Clara! Clara! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Boathouse ] [SCENE_BREAK] ( Baby cries ) The Doctor: Lofty! I had no idea that was your baby. Hello, baby, I had no idea this was your junior parent. Lofty: I'm trying to settle her. She likes all the fish. Clara: You're shouting. What's happened? Did you trap your finger in something again? The Doctor: Chuckles, bedtime is cancelled. Everybody, off the hard stuff. We've got a long night's work ahead of us. I need a blacksmith. Who's the blacksmith? Lofty: I'm the blacksmith. The Doctor: You're the blacksmith and you've got a baby too? He's been at it hammer and tongs. Clara: Doctor, explain. What's happening? The Doctor: There's going to be a war tomorrow. And here's some news, this just in: We're going to win the hell out of it. Clara: How? The Doctor: Ashildr, this is your village, and you will never have to leave it, I swear. Clara: Seriously, how? The Doctor: I told you that we were basically doomed. Did no one in this two-horn town think to mention that you had... eels? Clara: Eels? The Doctor: I give you... fire in the water! The Doctor: Electric eels! ( Baby cries ) The Doctor: Yes, yes! I know exactly how you feel. Well, not exactly. She needs changing. Clara: Plan, then? The Doctor: And it is a doozy! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Blacksmith's Forge ] [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: We need to pull that silvery stuff out of Clara's space suit. We can use it to magnify the electrical charge. Stop looking confused! Look happy! Winning is all about looking happier than the other guy. Always walk briskly. Makes you a moving target. Oh, that's for Lofty. Lofty! And talk with confidence, even if you're terrified. The Doctor: Act as if you know their plan, and sometimes, if you're very lucky, they'll actually tell you it. Ah, this is for Ashildr. The Doctor: Then we deploy the anvil. Now, at this stage, getting me one of their helmets is key. We get a helmet, and this is over. Then we can mop up the rest using Ashildr's monstrosity. Clara: That is rubbish. The Doctor: I know. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Meeting house ] [SCENE_BREAK] ( Upbeat music plays ) The Doctor: Hey, hello, hey! I'm the Doctor. It's lovely to meet you face to... convincing hologram. You could always go "bzzz" and get rid of it, no? No, on second thoughts, don't. That, that, that suits you. Odin: It is time to fight. The Doctor: No, no, no. We decided against that. We thought we'd just have a party! ( They cheer ) Odin: Let me put it another way. You fight or you die. The Doctor: We're unarmed. There isn't a single weapon in this room. Which I'm sure your systems are telling you. You wouldn't open fire on unarmed civilians, would you? Odin: It wouldn't be the first time. ( Clunk ) The Doctor: Chuckles, now! ( Zapping ) The Doctor: Run, run, run-run-run-run! That's four down, six left. Odin: Go! The Doctor: Chuckles, switch! ( Zapping ) The Doctor: Chuckles, off! Clara: Don't move. Odin: Go! Clara: How's it coming? The Doctor: Reversing the polarity of the neutron flow. I bet that means something. It sounds great. Ashildr! The Doctor: Are you ready? Ashildr: I'm scared. The Doctor: You were born for this. Show them a story they'll never forget. ( He inhales sharply ) ( Roaring ) Odin: What is this beast? It's impossible! Mire: Withdraw. Withdraw. Odin: Stand and fight! ( Roaring ) Mire: Withdraw. The Doctor: See how they run. Mire: Withdraw. Odin: Cowards! Mire: Withdraw. The Doctor: That's enough, Ashildr. Story's over. Happy ending. ( Dragon roars ) ( Breaking wind ) ( He laughs ) ( Creaking ) Odin: What trickery is this? The Doctor: Ha! Says the man with a fake face. But you see, that's the trouble with viewing reality through technology: it's all too easy to feed in a new reality. Clara: You got it? Great. The Doctor: A story to save a town, and a puppet from a nightmare. You see, you've just seen the world through the eyes of a storyteller. The mighty armies of the Mire... Brutal, sadistic, undefeated. Even I believed the stories. But after today, no one will again. An army like yours, it lives or dies on its reputation... its story. And today, you were sent packing by a handful of farmers and fisherman. Not to mention the whole "wetting your pants and running away from a puppet" debacle. Clara: See, that was really funny. The Doctor: That was hilarious. It's just lucky that nobody recorded that. Oh. Wait a minute, we did. ( Recording plays ) Clara: See, all it needed was the Benny Hill theme. The Doctor: The Benny Hill theme, yes. Now, you see, we could just keep this as a funny little film and play it every year at the Christmas party, or... I could upload it to the galactic hub and get a second opinion. So the question you need to ask yourself is this: Just how important is your reputation to you? Here's a little sneak preview, piped straight into your helmets, free of charge. ( Benny Hill theme plays ) Odin (O.C.): Wait! Cowards! The Doctor: If you don't leave right now, I'll put it out there for all to see and no one will fear you again. Odin: This humiliation will not go unpunished. We will meet again. The Doctor: Oh, I hacked your teleporter. Sorry. ( Cheering ) Einarr: You did it, Ashildr. You did it. You saved us all. Ashildr... Einarr: Ashildr? Ashildr! Clara: Get the helmet off her. Get it off, now. Einarr: Ashildr? Clara: No pulse. I think. Doctor, is she dead? The Doctor: I'm sorry. I'm really terribly sorry. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Boathouse ] [SCENE_BREAK] ( Water trickles ) Clara: Heart failure, yeah? The Doctor: Yeah. I plugged her into the machine. Used her up like a battery. ( He exhales ) I'm so sick of losing. Clara: You didn't lose. You saved the town. The Doctor: I don't mean the war. I'll lose any war you like. I'm sick of losing people. Look at you, with your eyes, and your never giving up, and your anger, and your... kindness. One day... the memory of that will hurt so much that I won't be able to breathe, and I'll do what I always do. I'll get in my box and I'll run and I'll run, in case all the pain ever catches up... and every place I go, it will be there. Clara: You did your best. She died. There's nothing you can do. The Doctor: I can do... anything. There's nothing I can't do. Nothing. But I'm not supposed to. Ripples, tidal waves, rules. I'm not supposed to. Oh. Oh! Clara: What? What's wrong? The Doctor: My face. The Doctor (memory): Who frowned me this face? Why this one? Why did I choose this face? Clara: Doctor, what's wrong with your face? The Doctor: I think I know why I chose it. The Doctor (memory): It's like I'm trying to tell myself something. The Doctor: I think I know what I'm trying to say. Donna (memory): Just someone. Not the whole town. Just save someone. The Doctor 10 (memory): Come with me. The Doctor: I know where I got this face, and I know what it's for. Clara: OK, what's it for? The Doctor: To remind me. To hold me to the mark. I'm the Doctor, and I save people. The Doctor: And if anyone happens to be listening, and you've got any kind of a problem with that, to hell with you! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Meeting House ] [SCENE_BREAK] Einarr: What's he doing? Clara: Saving her... I think. ( Whirring ) The Doctor: It's from the Mire helmet. Battlefield medical kit. I've reprogrammed it for human beings. Einarr: It's gone. It's inside her. The Doctor: It's repairing her. It will never stop repairing her, if it works. Come on, Ashildr. Come on. The story's not over yet. Einarr: Daughter... listen to me. This town has lost so much. If we lose you too... there'll be nothing left. ( She gasps ) Einarr: Ashildr! The Doctor: She'll be conscious in a day, up and about in three. No swimming for a week. Now, we're going to need a longboat and some of your best rowers. We're two days' sail from the TARDIS. Come on, Clara. Einarr: Wait, no. She'll want to see you when she wakes. The Doctor: Oh, no. Well, she'll, she'll see me often enough once she understands. Einarr: Understands what? The Doctor: Second dose. Einarr: Will she need to take this? The Doctor: No, no, no, it's not for her. Clara: Then who's it for? The Doctor: Er, whoever she wants. Ashildr: Doctor... thank you. The Doctor: Oh, don't thank me yet, Ashildr. Not yet. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Forest ] [SCENE_BREAK] Clara: OK, it's official. Silence is even worse in a Scottish accent. Are you going to tell me what you're brooding about? The Doctor: It won't stop, the repair kit I put inside Ashildr, not ever. It'll just keep fixing her. Clara: Well, good. The Doctor: I'm not sure, but it's entirely possible she has lost the ability to die. Clara: The ability? The Doctor: Oh, dying is an ability, believe me. Barring accidents, she may now be functionally immortal. ( TARDIS door unlocks ) Clara: If the repair kit never stops working, then why did you give her two? The Doctor: Immortality isn't living forever. That's not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying. She might meet someone she can't bear to lose. That happens... I believe. [SCENE_BREAK] [ TARDIS ] [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: I was angry. I was emotional. Just possibly, I have made a terrible mistake. Maybe even a tidal wave. The Doctor: Time will tell, it always does. Clara: Whatever you did for Ashildr... I think she deserved it. The Doctor: Yes. Yes, she did. But Ashildr isn't just human any more. There's a little piece of alien inside her, so in a way, she's. In a way, she's a hybrid. [SCENE_BREAK] ( Horse whinnies ) Stand and deliver. ( She screams ) If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a robbery. The most wanted in the land. Now is not the time to be showing off. Could it be we are looking for the same prize? The eyes of Hades? Who's this, your sidekick? I'm no-one's sidekick. Come on, sidekick. Watch and learn. There is an intruder on the premises. What are you doing? It's kill or be killed. You're playing with fire. Do you have a cat?	Plan: A: the Doctor; Q: Who steals a helmet for Ashildr to use? A: their village; Q: Where are the Doctor and Clara brought after being captured by Vikings? A: Mire; Q: What race of conquerors kills the village's warriors? A: the village's warriors; Q: Who did the Mire kill? A: adrenaline; Q: What other substance is taken from the Vikings by the Mire? A: battle; Q: What do the Doctor and Clara begin training the villagers for? A: Ashildr; Q: Who is the woman who declares war on the Mire? A: The next day; Q: When do the Mire invade? A: a dragon; Q: What vision does Ashildr broadcast into the Mire's helmets? A: his face; Q: What does the Doctor realize is a reminder that he does not have to follow the rules of time and space? A: a Mire medical chip; Q: What does the Doctor use to bring Ashildr back to life? A: the second chip; Q: What did the Doctor give to Ashildr in hopes she would give it to someone she cares for? Summary: After being captured by Vikings, the Doctor and Clara are brought to their village. A race of conquerors called the Mire kill the village's warriors and drain them of their testosterone and adrenaline. The Doctor and Clara begin training the villagers for battle after a woman from the village called Ashildr declares war on the Mire. The next day, the Mire invade, and the Doctor steals a helmet for Ashildr to use. She broadcasts a vision of a dragon into the Mire's other helmets and forces them to retreat, but she dies from the use of her helmet. The Doctor and Clara mourn, but then the Doctor realises his face [N 1] is a reminder that he does not have to follow the rules of time and space. He uses a Mire medical chip to bring Ashildr back to life. This makes her immortal. He provides the second chip in hope she would give it to one she cares for.
[ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard: Okay, we're headed out, see you later. Sheldon: Before you leave, could you test these noise-cancelling headphones? Leonard: Yeah, sure. Sheldon: Okay. Go ahead. Leonard: Hello, can you hear me? Sheldon, I haven't changed the filter in the water pitcher in two years. Penny: Uh, Bernadette's nickname for you is the virgin piña colada. Leonard: Your George Lucas autograph is really a me autograph. Penny: Yeah, once I was too lazy to walk across the hall, so I used your toothbrush. Leonard: Ooh, and one time when you were asleep, Amy totally took off her... and that's why you're the best roommate ever. Sheldon: Aw, now I'm sad I didn't hear it. Penny: So what do you need the headphones for? Sheldon: Well, I've been struggling for months to come up with a theory of dark matter that doesn't make protons decay. I'm hoping to finally tackle it by optimising my work environment. See, I've got, uh, my tea is at the perfect sipping temperature. Uh, I have fleece-lined boxer shorts to keep my tushie toasty. And then, oh, last but not least, this inspirational cat poster improved with the reassuring face of physics renegade Richard Feynman. Penny: Is that why you had to take him to Office Depot last night? Leonard: I don't want to talk about it. There, the place is all yours. Penny: Yeah, have fun. Sheldon: Oh, I will, nothing more fun than a paradigm-shifting evening of science. Penny: And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower. Leonard: Bye. Sheldon: Okay. Here we go. Proton decay. Proton decay. (Time shift) Proton decay. Proton decay. (Time shift) Proton decay. Proton decay. Leonard: Hey, we're home. Any progress? Sheldon: How could there be, with these constant interruptions? Penny: I love him, but if he's broken, let's not get a new one. [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ ♪ Bang! ♪ The Anxiety Optimisation Original Air Date on January 29, 2015 [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard: What are you doing? It's time to go. Sheldon: I'm not going to work today. And would you like to know why? Leonard: Ah, you're upset because you spent the whole night working on dark matter and didn't make a breakthrough, and now you're worried you made a huge mistake switching fields, and you're gonna sit around and sulk all day? Sheldon: Like a big old baby. Leonard: Call me if you need anything. (Sheldon sighs, door closes) Sheldon: I've been cooped up in here too long. Maybe I need some fresh air. (inhales, exhales) Penny (O.C.): Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Sheldon: (Knocks) Penny? Penny (O.C.): Ugh! Sheldon: (Knocks) Penny? Penny (O.C.): Ugh! Sheldon: (Knocks) Penny? Penny: Ugh, what? Sheldon: You sounded in distress. I was worried something unpleasant was happening to you. Like a murder. Or spontaneous coitus with Leonard. Penny: Oh, I'm just doing this awful workout. I hate it. Sheldon: Well, if you hate it, then why are you doing it? Although I could ask the same question about coitus with Leonard. Penny: I don't know, I guess I like that I hate it. It makes me work harder. Sheldon: And to clarify? Penny: The exercise, Sheldon. Shouldn't you be getting ready for work? Sheldon: I'm not going. Would you like to know why? Penny: Uh, you're sad about not getting anything done last night, so you're gonna sit around and pout about it? Sheldon: Boy, I'm not nearly as mysterious as I think I am. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The cafeteria ] [SCENE_BREAK] Howard: I invented a game. You want to play? Leonard: Sure. Howard: It's called "Emily or Cinnamon". I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog. Raj: Go ahead, make fun. You can't embarrass me, I've got a beautiful girlfriend and a dog who loves me so much she drinks my bathwater. Howard: Okay, who was he talking to, Emily or Cinnamon? "I want you to know, the bed feels so lonely when you're not in it." Raj: I may not be liking this game so much. Leonard: Cinnamon. Give me another one. Howard: Okay, Emily or Cinnamon? "Check it out, I got us matching sweaters!" Leonard: We all got the Christmas card, Cinnamon. Raj: You know, a man can care deeply about a woman and a pet. It's not strange. Leonard: Ooh, Emily. I heard him say that to Emily. Hey, I thought you were staying home. Sheldon: Yeah, I was, but after talking to Penny, I realised something. I, first, she's trying much harder to stay attractive in this relationship than you are. And second, the reason I may not be progressing in my research is I've created too pleasant of an environment for myself. Howard: What do you mean? Sheldon: According to a classic psychological experiment by Yerkes and Dodson, in order to maximize performance, one must create a state of productive anxiety. So I'd like to ask you all to do something for me. Keep me on my toes. (stammers) Just throw me off my game. Essentially, go out of your way to make my life miserable. Howard: Hold on. What's in it for us? Sheldon: Well, I suppose... Howard: Okay, we'll do it. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Amy's laboratory ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: Done. Amy: 33 seconds. Okay, that'll be our baseline. Sheldon: You know, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze, it gets a food pellet. Amy: It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers. Sheldon: And his last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster. Amy: All right, next, we're gonna introduce an anxiety-inducing stimulus, measure your stress levels and see how it affects your problem-solving rate. Sheldon: Very well. And good luck, I'm a pretty laid-back guy. Amy: Ready? Begin. (squeezes balloon) Why'd you pop it? Sheldon: I'm sorry, I was aiming for your heart. Amy: Look, I know you don't like it, but that's the point of the experiment. I need to irritate you to find your optimal anxiety zone. And you said no to tickling, polka music or watching me eat a banana. Sheldon: Who eats them horizontally? Amy: My mother said that's how good girls do it. Sheldon: Perhaps this was a waste of time. Amy: Sheldon, you're a remarkable scientist. Just be patient, I'm sure you'll find the breakthrough you've been looking for. Sheldon: Thank you. Amy: And if you only do solid research instead of making a groundbreaking discovery, what does it matter? Sheldon: "Only do solid research"? I come to you for help, and you insult me? I thought the least that you would do would be... Amy: Look, your anxiety levels are right in the zone. Sheldon: Really? Oh, that's fantastic. Now, wait, they're dropping. Why are they dropping? Amy: Because you're happy they're elevated. Sheldon: Oh, that is infuriating. Ooh, look, they went back up again. Terrific. Oh, no, they went back down. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Raj: All right, guys, what game do you want to play? Howard: Let's see. How about "Emily or Cinnamon"? Raj: You know what? I think it's a little weird that you remember me saying all these things. Maybe the truth is, you're jealous of all my relationships. Howard: Oh, maybe I am. Who wouldn't want to be the girl, or possibly dog, to hear the words, "you're so lucky, you have the shiniest hair". Leonard: That is a tough one. Uh, I know he brushes both of them. Sheldon: Gentlemen, I have figured out the perfect way for you to irritate me. I'd like you to be my intellectual sparring partners. From now on, when I make an assertion, I need you to challenge it. Leonard: So you just want us to disagree with whatever you say? Sheldon: Yes. Raj: And you think that's going to help? Sheldon: Yes. Howard: Well, I don't think that's gonna help at all. Sheldon: Oh, no, it will. See, by keeping my mind engaged, I'll become more focused. Leonard: Howard's right, that'll never work. Sheldon: Stop fighting me on the premise. It's scientifically valid. I'm going to advance propositions, I just want you to challenge me. Raj: I don't think that's what you want at all. Sheldon: Why, of course it's what I want. Why would I say it's what I want if it's not what I want? Leonard: Because it is what you want, and it's not what you said. Sheldon: I ask you for one simple thing, and you can't even do it. Howard: Yes, we can. Sheldon: Yeah, well, then do it. Howard: Nah. Sheldon: You guys are the worst. Thank you, I think that was helpful. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Penny: So, whichever rep has the best sales for the quarter gets a trip for two to Hawaii. Amy: That would be so romantic for you and Leonard. Penny: Yeah, clearly you haven't seen him on the beach walking around with his metal detector. Amy: If I were going to Hawaii, I'd spend all my time at the Keck Observatory. Did you know that the telescopes there have better resolution than the Hubble? Penny: Really? Want to go to Hawaii? Sheldon: (knocking on door) Ladies? (Knocks) Ladies? (Knocks) Ladies? Penny: Come in. Sheldon: Ladies. Penny: What's up? Sheldon: Well, as you may know, I've been experimenting with elevated anxiety levels, and I thought, what better way to increase my discomfort than to subject myself to an evening of tasteless uncensored crotch talk? Penny: What exactly do you think goes on here? Sheldon: Well, conversations that you wouldn't be comfortable having in front of the opposite s*x. You know, who has the best cervix. Which sanitary napkin is all the rage right now. Men's buttocks, and how you want to pat and squeeze them. Bernadette: We were talking about Penny's job. Sheldon: And how difficult it is to do when she's bloated, cranky and crampy? Continue. Penny: Sheldon, we are just people. We talk about the same things you guys talk about. Sheldon: You talk about if werewolves can swim? See, Leonard says yes, but I say it depends on if the human could swim before he was bitten. What do you think? Penny: Let's just talk about our periods. Amy: No, hold on. All canines instinctively know how to swim. Why wouldn't a werewolf have the same abilities? Bernadette: Well, they're not a hundred percent wolf. They're a werewolf, that's only part wolf. It's like comparing apples to oranges. Sheldon: Thank you. Oh, and technically, it's apples that turn into were-oranges when the moon is full. Hey, this is fun. We should do it sometime when you aren't all PMS'ing. Bye. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard: What is going on? Sheldon: Oh. Uh, I need to keep my anxiety at the right level, so I'm using Darth Vader, the Joker, and Godzilla's roar to keep me in that sweet spot. Uh, I tried including Taylor Swift in the mix, but turns out I love her. Leonard: Well, at least listen to it through headphones. I'm trying to sleep. Good night. Sheldon: Boy, Taylor was right, haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Amy's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Amy: You've been working so much lately, I'm glad you didn't forget about date night. Sheldon: Of course. Amy: Sheldon. Sheldon: Yeah. Amy: Maybe you want to put the notebook away and talk to me. Sheldon: (stammers) I can do both. My brain is working at optimal capacity. I can have a conversation with you and solve the dark matter proton decay problem at the same time. Amy: Fine. How was your day? Sheldon: Oh, you said it. Amy: Sheldon. Sheldon, I'm worried about you. You're not eating, you haven't slept in days, and, to be honest, that cap is starting to smell. Sheldon: I know. It's replaced Godzilla as my principle source of anxiety. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Howard: Okay, so it's one vote Emily, one vote Cinnamon. Penny, you're the tiebreaker. Penny: Say the quote again. Howard: "It's just so perfect that we're both Libras." Penny: Wow, this is hard. I'm gonna say Cinnamon. Howard: Yes. Penny: Yes. Raj: Come on. Howard: That was the last one, I promise. We won't play any more. Raj: Thank you. 'Cause if she ever found out, it would hurt her feelings. Bernadette: Emily's feelings? Raj: Yes, Emily. Whatever. Where's Sheldon? Penny: Date night. Leonard: That can't be much fun for Amy. You know, at work today, he tried his first Red Bull. Bernadette: What happened? Leonard: He chased a squirrel around the quad for a while and then threw up in my car. Bernadette: Don't you think you should make him stop all this? Howard: I don't know, he's not really hurting anybody. Leonard: You didn't have to scoop vomit out of your glove compartment. Sheldon: He is getting a lot of work done. He had a pretty interesting take on proton decay. Raj: Wow, if he cracks that it's a game changer, guys. It'll completely redefine our understanding of the physical universe. Howard: Hmm, it would. Okay, back to "Emily or Cinnamon"? "How can such a little girl eat such a big steak"? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Amy's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Amy: Sheldon, I want you to take that cap off. Sheldon: That nagging tone is helping my anxiety, yeah. But if you could maybe just go ten percent less shrill, that'd really put the zip-a-dee in my doo-dah. Amy: I'm sorry, but you know we agreed not to bring work to date night. Sheldon: There you go, perfect. Amy: Sheldon, stop it, I'm not kidding. Take the cap off, and put the notebook away. Sheldon: But after months of struggling, I'm finally making progress. Amy: You don't need to drive yourself crazy in order to be productive. Sheldon: Or do I, hmm? Sir Isaac Newton wrote his Principia while convinced he was an armadillo. Amy: That's not true. Sheldon: Yeah, well, maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I have been hallucinating lately. Amy: Sheldon, this has to stop. You need to get some sleep and take care of yourself. Sheldon: Amy, I have gotten more done in the last few days than I have since I made the switch to dark matter. What if I stop doing this, and it all goes away? Amy: Your thoughts and ideas come from you, not from your anxiety. Sheldon: Hmm, perhaps. But I'm not taking the cap off. Amy: It's one thing to make yourself miserable, but you're making everyone around you miserable, too. Now, I'm telling you for the last time, take the cap off. Sheldon: Oh, really? What if I don't? And before you answer that, can I have my dessert? [SCENE_BREAK] [ A bus ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: And then she threw me out. Me, her very own boyfriend. When all I've done is try to help humanity reach of the world we live in. Man: Yeah, well, women, what are you gonna do? Sheldon: I knew you'd understand, Armadillo Isaac Newton. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Sheldon's bedroom ] [SCENE_BREAK] Penny: Okay. Leonard: Here we are. Sheldon: Hey. What are you trying to pull? The president of science isn't in here. Leonard: You lie down, he'll be here in a minute. Sheldon: Okay. Hey, I thought you were trying to trick me. Penny: Now, you just get comfortable. Sheldon: No, no, comfort is the enemy. You know what's comfortable? Slippers and blankets and panda bears. Imagine a panda bear with Richard Feynman's face on it. Warm up the car, Leonard, it's poster time. Leonard: Maybe in the morning. Penny: Yeah, you get some sleep. Sheldon: No, I don't want to go to sleep, you can't make me. Penny: You're right, we can't. Sheldon: Yeah, darn straight, you can't. Try to tell a grown man to go to sleep. Penny: ♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪ Leonard: ♪ Little ball of fur... ♪ Sheldon: That's not gonna work. Penny (singing): ♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪ Together (singing): ♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪ Leonard: You know, he can be a lot of trouble, but when I see him lying here asleep like this, I just think how easy it would be to hold a pillow over his face. Penny: Mmmm. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The cafeteria ] [SCENE_BREAK] Howard: You look like you got some rest. Sheldon: Oh, I'm feeling much better. And I've also been continuing to make progress without artificially raising my anxiety levels. Leonard: I turned on the heat in my car and some vomit came out, so my levels, right up there. Raj: Hey, guys. Mind if Emily joins us for lunch? Leonard: Yeah, sure. Howard: Yeah, no problem. Sheldon: Of course not. Emily: So I hear you guys have been playing a little game. Howard: Well, um, we were just kidding around. Emily: Well, you may think it's funny that Raj is sweet and sensitive, but I think it's sexy. Ugh, why is there dog hair in your mouth?	Plan: A: Sheldon; Q: Who is unable to continue his research because of his anxiety? A: a problem; Q: What does Sheldon have in his dark matter proton decay research? A: a fitness routine; Q: What does Penny do to motivate herself? A: his anxiety level; Q: What does Sheldon want to motivate himself with? A: The guys; Q: Who enjoys irritating Sheldon when he asks them to do so? A: the women; Q: Who does Sheldon annoy when he tries to listen to their mindless girl talk? A: A frustrated Amy; Q: Who throws Sheldon out of her apartment? A: their date night; Q: When did Amy throw Sheldon out of her apartment? A: a man; Q: What does Sheldon think is a mix of an armadillo and Isaac Newton? A: Soft Kitty; Q: What song did Leonard and Penny sing to Sheldon to help him sleep? A: Howard; Q: Who invented the game "Emily or Cinnamon"? A: an embarrassing quote; Q: What does Raj say to Emily? A: Raj; Q: Who is annoyed by Emily kissing him? A: the dog hair; Q: What does Emily find repulsive about Raj's mouth? Summary: Sheldon has a problem in his dark matter proton decay research. After Penny says doing a fitness routine she hates motivates her, Sheldon seeks to do the same with his anxiety level while he works. The guys enjoy irritating Sheldon when he asks them to do so, while he annoys the women when he tries to listen to their mindless girl talk. Sheldon becomes exhausted and hallucinates among other things. A frustrated Amy throws him out of her apartment when he focuses on his research and anxiety during their date night. On the bus home he hallucinates a man is really a mix of an armadillo and Isaac Newton. Leonard and Penny are able to get an exhausted Sheldon to sleep after singing Soft Kitty to him. Sheldon is able to continue his research afterwards. Meanwhile, Howard has invented a game 'Emily or Cinnamon' where the rest of the friends try and guess whether an embarrassing quote from Raj was said to his girlfriend or his dog. Raj is annoyed, but Emily is okay with it, thinking it is sexy that Raj is sensitive, until she kisses Raj and is repulsed by the dog hair in his mouth.
JACK HARKNESS (v.o.) : Torchwood. Outside the Government, beyond the police. Fighting for the future on behalf of the human race. The 21st Century is when everything changes... and Torchwood is ready. EXT. GRASSY AREA - DEAD OF NIGHT It's night. On a dirt path on the outskirts of town, couples venture toward the lights and organ music as they gather in front the entrance to the traveling circus. GHOSTMAKER (o.s.) : Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, have we got a show for you tonight ! We follow a man and a woman toward the entrance where the Ring Leader, dressed in a top hat and coat, beckons the visitors inside. GHOSTMAKER : A once-in-a-lifetime show ! Inside the entrance, visitors watch various acts, two performers juggling fire-lit pins and several people dressed as clowns. GHOSTMAKER (o.s.) : Amaze your ears, astonish your eyes, then run along home and tell your friends and neighbors. There are a couple of strong men. GHOSTMAKER (o.s.) : A once-in-a-lifetime show, never to be forgotten for the rest of your lives. As a couple enters through the wooden entrance, a woman and her little girl remain on the outside. GHOSTMAKER : So, why not step inside ? The Ghostmaker offers the little girl a ticket. The little girl looks at her mum. She looks at the ticket. GHOSTMAKER : We're waiting for you. The little girl reaches for the ticket, snatches it from him and runs in through the entrance. A bright light and a scream come from behind the woman. She turns and looks behind her. The lights of the traveling circus vanish completely, casting the field into darkness. When the young mum turns back to look, the circus is gone. There's nothing but fog, grass and silence. EXT. CARDIFF CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT CLOSE-UP : FILM EDITING MACHINERY Film passes through the reels. Images appear on the monitor. It's classic black and white footage of times past. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - NIGHT Jonathan sits alone in his studio editing the film. He works quietly. He flashes a smile as he watches the film, clearly enjoying what he's doing. INTERCUT WITH : INT. THE HUB - NIGHT Jack is in the coffee area making himself a cup of something to drink. He carries his cup and heads over to the workstations. He glances up as the pterodactyl screeches above him. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - NIGHT CLOSE-UP : The film reel as it runs on the editing machine. Jonathan continues to watch and edit the film. JONATHAN : Great ! ON MONITOR : The Ghostmaker stands on a platform, looks out and beckons. He motions with his hand, come. In the background, we hear circus music. Jonathan is puzzled. JONATHAN : What is that ? The Ghostmaker is still on the film. Still beckoning. INT. THE HUB - WORKSTATIONS - NIGHT Jack is at the workstations when he hears faint circus music and ghostly whisperings. He looks up. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - NIGHT The Ghostmaker is still on the film, looking out and beckoning, motioning with his hand, come. Jonathan pauses the machine. He marks the film for splicing. JONATHAN : I dunno where you came from, mate, but I know where you're going. He starts to cut the film when the small window on the other side of the room whips open by the strong winds and rain outside. Jonathan runs over to close the window before any of his film is damaged. The splicing machine on his table falls to the floor. The film on the editing machine magically winds back up onto the reel. Jonathan shuts the window. The film reel magically winds up, playing backward. Jonathan removes and wipes his glasses. He turns and hurries back to his seat. He looks at the monitor. The film is running, but superimposed on all the images is the Ghostmaker as he looks out and beckons. Jonathan watches as the film reaches the end and flickers as it continues to spin off the reel. On the monitor, the Ghostmaker continues to look out and beckon. Come. Lightning flashes, thunder crashes. Jonathan swallows hard. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. CARDIFF CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT INT. THE HUB - NIGHT Toshiko steps off the spiral stairs with the binder she's carrying. She heads for her workstation and opens it. She puts her glasses on to work. JACK (o.s.) : Tosh ? She looks up. TOSHIKO : Hmm ? Jack walks over to her. JACK : I heard this sound. An old sound, like a pipe organ. TOSHIKO : A what ? JACK (looks around) : Did you hear anything ? TOSHIKO : No. She goes back to work. JACK : Is there a circus in town, or a traveling fair, something like that ? TOSHIKO : On a night like this ? They'd be wasting their time. JACK : Where's Ianto ? He would know. TOSHIKO : He's gone to the cinema with Gwen and Owen... some kind of opening night he wanted to check out. The building's got a record of rift activity, but it's been quiet for years so... She looks up and Jack is gone. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. STREET - NIGHT It is raining so hard that we can hardly see the three people walking down the middle of the street. It's Owen, Gwen and Ianto. OWEN : A nice trip to the cinema, you said. IANTO: Yeah, that's right. They've only got their jackets on and no umbrellas. They're drenched. OWEN : Ianto, nothing down here, mate. GWEN : Oh, come on, Owen. IANTO : It's more than just a cinema. Ianto stops and looks up. IANTO : It's the Electro ! GWEN : Oh, wow ! They head for the cinema, lights bright, warm and beckoning. Its doors wide open. They hurry inside. INT. THE ELECTRO - LOBBY - NIGHT The small lobby is buzzing with people. The manager, Dave Penn, rushes down the steps from the second floor projector room and he stops at the ticket booth to talk with his wife, Faith. DAVE PENN : Where's that stupid bloody son of ours ? INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT Jonathan exits his flat at the end of the warehouse. He slams the door closed and runs. He's carrying the film canister. He heads across the warehouse floor toward the stairs at the end. He runs down, across the room and heads out the far door. He's late. INT. THE ELECTRO - LOBBY - NIGHT FAITH PENN : He said he'd be here on time. DAVE PENN : He'd better be. He's got the film. (He looks around nervously). Now what good is a cinema without a film ? The front door closes. Dave Penn looks up and greets his guests. DAVE PENN : Good evening, gentlemen. Evening, madam. Ianto, Gwen and Owen enter the lobby. OWEN : Hello. DAVE PENN : Welcome to the Electro. EXT. OUTSIDE WAREHOUSE - NIGHT Jonathan runs down the warehouse stairs, out in the pouring rain. He wraps his jacket around himself and the film canister. Thunder rumbles. Jonathan reaches the bottom of the stairs, jumps off and runs as fast as he can. EXT. STREET - NIGHT An SUV turns the corner, tires screeching. The SUV zooms out of frame. INT. THE ELECTRO - LOBBY - NIGHT Ianto, Gwen and Owen look around. Ianto stops in front of an old film projector out on display in the lobby. IANTO : I love this place. I used to come here with my dad. They showed kids' films on Saturday morning. GWEN (chuckles) : Mm-hmm. So where's the popcorn and the ice cream ? OWEN : I think you've missed out. It's educational. Owen heads inside. GWEN : Okay. After a beat, Gwen pats Ianto on the arm and follows Owen inside. GWEN : Come on. Ianto turns and follows them in. The front door slams shut as Jonathan hurries inside with the film canister. His father is waiting. DAVE : What sort of time do you call this ? JONATHAN : Sorry, Dad. DAVE (irritated) : People are waiting ! JONATHAN : You're not going to believe this, right ? When I was splicing the film... DAVE : Look, just get up to that projection room, will you ? Now ! Jonathan runs past his father. Dave sighs and heads inside. INT. THE ELECTRO - PROJECTION ROOM - CONTINUOUS Jonathan enters and struggles out of his jacket. He opens the film canister. Muffled organ music sounds. Jonathan stops and looks around. He definitely heard that. But no time, he's got to get the film ready. He puts the film in the projector. INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - NIGHT Dave and Faith Penn are standing up on the stage in front of the closed red curtain. Off to one side of the stage is a pianist. DAVE PENN : As proud owners of the Electro museum, it is our privilege to be able to show you how the cinema and Hope Street looked in days gone by. STAGE POV : There's only a handful of people in the theatre seats including Owen, Gwen and Ianto. DAVE : And if you watch carefully, who knows ? You may even see long-dead members of your family waiting in the cinema queue. Gwen giggles. DAVE : Bernard ! The lights dim. Bernard starts playing the piano accompaniment. Dave and Faith step off to the side as the curtain opens. INT. THE ELECTRO - PROJECTION ROOM - CONTINUOUS Jonathan starts the projector. INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - NIGHT The old black and white film starts. It shows various footage of the city as it was in the old days. Dave and Faith take their seats in the theatre as they watch the film. Owen glances at Gwen. She looks at him and smiles. INT. THE ELECTRO - PROJECTION ROOM - CONTINUOUS Jonathan is up in the projection room watching the film. INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - NIGHT After the city footage is some circus footage, a clown juggling some hats, and various other circus acts. OWEN : Do you recognize any of your long-lost relatives, Gwen ? Gwen stifles her laughter. On the screen is a woman in a black bathing suit with a hoola-hoop. OWEN : There's Aunty Peggy. She's been on the gin again. Gwen laughs. IANTO : Can you be quiet ? Gwen continues laughing. On the screen is a strong man lifting a barbell. DAVE (irritated) : He's showing the wrong bloody film ! He gets up and rushes out of the theatre. On the screen are two men in turbans standing side-by-side and juggling fire-lit pins. GWEN : Where's Hope Street gone ? On the screen is the circus group waving to the camera. Ianto continues to watch the film with interest. There's a woman standing in front of a tank of water. The Ghostmaker appears on the screen, standing on a platform, looking out and beckoning with a motion of his hand. INT. THE ELECTRO - PROJECTION ROOM - NIGHT Jonathan freaks. JONATHAN : Oh, sh1t ! Jonathan immediately turns to stop the projector. It won't stop. The film continues. INT. THE ELECTRO - STAIRS TO PROJECTION ROOM - NIGHT Dave hurries up the stairs. INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - NIGHT The circus footage continues to play up on the screen. There's a clown in a checkered suit juggling hats. The woman with the hoola-hoop is up on screen. The footage continues to scroll through the same acts. Faith turns and looks back at the projection room. What's going on ? INT. THE ELECTRO - PROJECTION ROOM - NIGHT Jonathan is fiddling with the projector, trying to stop it. The door opens and Dave bursts in. DAVE : Where the hell did that film come from ? JONATHAN : I've no idea. I swear I didn't edit those film clips. DAVE : Don't be so stupid. JONATHAN : It's true. DAVE : Look, just bloody well change it, will you ! JONATHAN : I can't. The machine won't switch off. DAVE : Oh, get out of the way. Jonathan steps aside as Dave fiddles with the projector. Jonathan is freaked. JONATHAN : This is crazy ! DAVE : Ohh ! INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - NIGHT Meanwhile, the film continues to scroll through the same circus acts. GWEN : It's the same pictures over and over again. OWEN : Yeah. The Ghostmaker appears on the screen. OWEN (sighs) : Right. Come on, let's go. Bored, Owen moves to get up. Ianto continues to watch the film. There is new footage of a high-wire walker, then of Jack holding a gun to his temple and then, below his chin. IANTO : Wait ! Gwen looks at Ianto. IANTO (points) : I just saw Jack. GWEN : Where ? IANTO : In the film. Owen and Gwen sit back down and watch the film. There are the jugglers, the clowns, a strong man, but no Jack. OWEN : What are you talking about ? GWEN : What ? IANTO : I swear I saw him ! Owen sits back to watch the film. Gwen looks at Ianto. GWEN (sing-song) : Ianto... IANTO : Wait. Just wait. More of the same circus footage plays, the circus troop waving to the camera, the woman in front of a tank of water. Gwen taps her fingers on the back of the chair. The Ghostmaker appears on the screen, beckoning them to come... The film finally sputters and fades out. The pianist stops playing. The audience murmurs. Gwen and Owen are ready to leave. GWEN : Come on. OWEN : Let's go. GWEN : Yes, come on. Owen and Gwen stand up to leave. The rest of the audience also gets up to leave. GWEN (to Ianto) : Are you coming ? Ianto gets up slowly. He continues to look at the screen. What just happened ? Did he really see Jack ? Two large, dark shadows on the wall swoosh out past Ianto. He turns and sees them leave. He stops and turns around, looking. Now, he knows something strange is going on. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE HUB - WORKSTATIONS - NIGHT Toshiko is working at her computers when they suddenly static and stall. After a beat, the computers resume. EXT. THE ELECTRO - NIGHT It's pouring. The front door opens. A man and a woman leave. Torchwood's black SUV is parked outside. Jack gets out of the car and heads inside. He leaves the car running and the wipers on. IANTO (PRE-LAP, v.o.) : When the film stopped, these... INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - NIGHT Ianto stares at the screen as he recounts what happened to Jack. IANTO : ...shadows went past me. JACK : What kind of shadows ? IANTO : Don't know. Wasn't clear. Something else. You were up there on the screen. Large as life. JACK : What was I doing ? IANTO : You were on some sort of stage... outside a big tent. You seemed to be part of a traveling show. Jack chuckles wryly. JACK : I heard it. Heard its music. Just a snatch of it. IANTO : That film was beautiful. All those acts performing for us, part of history, trapped on film forever. JACK : Their days were numbered. Cinema may have saved their images, but it finished off the traveling shows. (Breathy chuckle). Killed them. Jack turns and heads out, leaving Ianto standing there and looking at the screen. Ianto looks so sad. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. BUS STOP - NIGHT It's pouring. Nettie Williams takes cover at a covered bus stop. She's on her cell phone. NETTIE WILLIAMS (to phone) : I'm at the bus stop, Mum. Two figures, a man and a woman, stand out in the rain and across the street. They watch her. NETTIE (to phone) : By Hope Street. The man and the woman head toward the covered bus stop. The man walks confidently while the woman pads lightly on her slippered feet next to him. She pauses in the middle of the street to scoop up some water pooled in the road. NETTIE (to phone) : No. Gemma's brother couldn't bring me home. His car don't work. The man continues toward the bus stop. The woman is still crouched in the street scooping up the water. She stands up and follows. NETTIE (to phone) : Well, what about Dad ? Can't you wake him ? Mum ? As the two figures get closer, we see they're the Ghostmaker and the woman from the film. Nettie turns her phone off. The Ghostmaker walks up to Nettie and offers her a pink ticket. GHOSTMAKER : Would you like a ticket for the traveling show, my dear ? NETTIE (scoffs) : No, thanks. GHOSTMAKER : Every young person's dream. Pearl walks up to her. PEARL : Perhaps she'd like to join the show instead. She runs her hand down Nettie's damp hair. Nettie looks at the ticket, then looks at Pearl. Pearl licks the damp off her fingers. GHOSTMAKER : Why not ? You could travel with us. Forever. NETTIE : Look, just go away, will you ? Did you hear what I said ? The Ghostmaker touches Nettie's lips with his gloved fingertips and she gasps, struggling for breath. Pearl smiles with glee. The Ghostmaker quickly reaches into his jacket and takes out a silver flask. He holds it next to Nettie's open mouth. A wisp of white breath escapes out of Nettie's mouth. The Ghostmaker is quick. He captures it into the silver flask and covers it, sealing it inside. Pearl rubs her hands together and giggles. She smiles at the Ghostmaker. He turns and they share a knowing look. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ELECTRO - NIGHT JACK (v.o.) : So you say the projector went haywire ? INT. ELECTRO - PROJECTION ROOM - NIGHT Jack and Ianto talk with Jonathan. JONATHAN : Yeah, even with the main switched off, it still kept running, playing those film clips. It's like it had a mind of its own. Ianto turns the projector on. The film runs. He turns the projector off. The film stops. He looks at Jonathan. IANTO : Working now. JONATHAN : I know. JACK : So, where did you get these ? With his foot, Jack nudges the canisters stacked up on the floor. JONATHAN : From the basement here. There were stacks of cans. See, I've been compiling old footage of Hope Street and the Electro for the opening night, but the circus clips weren't on it. I swear. JACK : So, the film that was shown wasn't meant to be here ? JONATHAN : No, and that's what's so scary. I mean, it kind of played itself. It's like it wanted to be seen. JACK : Like something tried to get through ? JONATHAN : Yeah. And there was a sound, like... uh... old-fashioned music ? Played on an organ or something. (Jack looks at Ianto). And there was a face looking out at me. And there was a smell, like... uh... like bromine. Or iodine. IANTO : Like film itself. JONATHAN (nods) : That's right. Jack turns and indicates the film currently in the projector. JACK : And this is the film ? JONATHAN : Yeah. Ianto opens the projector to remove the film. Jack's comm beeps. TOSHIKO (filtered) : Jack, the systems here are behaving very oddly. INTERCUT WITH : INT. THE HUB - WORKSTATIONS - NIGHT TOSHIKO : And I heard the sound you mentioned. (Filtered). That fairground sound ? JACK : Can you trace the source ? TOSHIKO : No. But there was a peak in rift activity at the Electro. Then nothing. Plus I'm recording unusual rift traces nearby. JACK (shakes his head) : Where ? TOSHIKO : Chain Lane. Runs parallel to Hope Street. Sending the co-ordinates now. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. CARDIFF ROADWAYS (STOCK) Sirens wail in the distance. EXT. CHAIN LANE - NIGHT The Torchwood SUV zooms across the frame. JACK (filtered) : Tosh, we're on our way. Tell the police we're dealing with it. CLOSE-UP : NETTIE'S MOUTH. Dehydrated with dry, crinkled skin around her mouth area. Nettie's eyes are open and she stares out blankly in front of her. PULL BACK to show Nettie is sitting at the bus stop. EXT. BUS STOP ON CHAIN LANE - NIGHT The Torchwood SUV pulls up and stops. Jack, Ianto, Owen and Gwen get out of the SUV. They run toward the bus stop. Owen checks Nettie. JACK : Epileptic maybe ? Could be wearing a tag. OWEN : She isn't. IANTO : She got ID ? GWEN : Uh, I'll check. Gwen reaches into Nettie's jacket pocket to look for an ID. JACK : What's wrong ? OWEN : She's got a heartbeat, but she isn't breathing. Shouldn't really be alive. And look at her mouth. She's got no saliva. Look, her lips are cracked. Dry as a bone. We need to get her to hospital. Jack stands up. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. THE WINDSOR CAFE - NIGHT A small coffee shop closing for the night. The lone employee is inside closing up. The Ghostmaker and Pearl step into camera frame and stop. They look at each other for a moment. They head for the cafe. Thunder rumbles in the distance. INT. THE WINDSOR CAFE - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS The Restaurant Owner is wiping the tables. She looks up and sees Pearl standing just outside the glass, staring at her. The Restaurant Owner continues fixing the table when someone bangs up against the front door. She walks over. The Ghostmaker is looking in through the front door glass. The Restaurant Owner opens the door. RESTAURANT OWNER : Sorry. We're closed. (He stares at her. Pearl walks over to them). Do you hear me ? We're closed. Pearl looks at her over the Ghostmaker's shoulder. PEARL : Make her cry. RESTAURANT OWNER : You what ? PEARL: I want to drink her tears. The Ghostmaker reaches out and touches the Restaurant Owner's mouth. The Restaurant Owner gasps for breath. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. HOSPITAL (STOCK) - NIGHT Sirens wail. INT. HOSPITAL - NETTIE'S ROOM - NIGHT Owen's bandaged hand is on Nettie's over her bedcover. He releases her hand as he talks with Jack. The heart monitor next to the bed beeps steadily. Nettie's eyes are wide open and there's no response from her. OWEN : Her name's Nettie Williams. Her parents are outside. Apparently, she was visiting a friend. JACK : Have any witnesses come forward ? OWEN : No. JACK : Has anyone been able to communicate with her ? OWEN : No. No change in her condition. JACK : Motor response ? OWEN : Non-existent. They're treating it as a coma. JACK : And they're wrong ? OWEN : Totally. There's no signs of cerebral dysfunctions, no symptoms of hypoxia, and her body's dehydrated. You know when a spider sucks the liquid out of its victims ? Well, this is a bit like that, except they've left her partly alive. She couldn't cry about it even if she wanted to, poor kid. She's got no tears. The door bursts open. Ianto enters in front of another bed being rolled into the room. IANTO : There's been another one. The Restaurant Owner is on the bed. Owen helps them roll the bed into the room. JACK : Who's she ? YOUNG NURSE : We don't know. The paramedics found her. It freaked them. (Owen looks at her). She was lying in an open doorway. Looking like this. OWEN : Where was this ? YOUNG NURSE : The corner of Hope Street. Jack puts his hand over the Restaurant Owner's chest and he puts his face close to her nose and mouth as he looks for breath. JACK : The same. Heartbeat but no breath. Owen looks at her mouth. OWEN : Her mouth's been drained of moisture. TIME CUT TO : INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Jack, Owen, Gwen and Ianto walk through the hallway. OWEN : This makes no sense, they're almost dehydrated and possibly brain-dead, and yet, somehow they're still with us. JACK : So, some part of them has been taken elsewhere ? OWEN : Well, that's impossible. They turn the corner and come out into another hallway. They continue talking. JACK : For the body to be alive, there must be a life force somewhere. Yet they've separated it, and stolen it. IANTO : Who has the power to do that ? JACK : I don't know. But we need to find out fast. Two people chosen at random. Who's next ? GWEN : Whatever's doing it has the whole city to choose from. JACK : Or the world. They walk out. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. CARDIFF CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT Aerial view of the city lights. EXT. MILLENNIUM CENTRE (STOCK) - NIGHT Aerial view of the centre above Torchwood. INT. THE HUB - JACK'S OFFICE - NIGHT The film projector is on Jack's desk. Everyone sits nearby watching the silent film on various circus acts, first the strong man lifting weights. Next are the two men in turbans juggling fire-lit pins. Then there are two clowns. JACK : I knew those two. (Ianto looks at him. Jack chuckles as he watches the film). They argued day and night. Toshiko stares at him. She turns to watch the film. On the screen is the high-wire act. Then, the man who looks like Jack with a gun pointed at his own temple. OWEN : That is you. Toshiko rewinds the film on "Jack". OWEN : All right, now I've seen everything ! IANTO : I told you so. GWEN : You did stand-up ? JACK : I never did stand-up. GWEN : Okay, then. (Southern twang). A song and dance. JACK : I was sensational ! TOSHIKO : I don't believe this, Jack. What were you doing there ? OWEN : He was part of the freak show. JACK : Ah, some things never change. OWEN : Are you being rude about me ? Look at the state of them. GWEN : I do love his leotard. Owen laughs. The image of the circus group waving to the camera appears on the screen. JACK : The Night travelers. TOSHIKO : The what ? JACK : Tosh, play that back. Toshiko rewinds the film. JACK : So, they did exist. TOSHIKO : Did you work with these people ? JACK (shakes his head) : I didn't work with them, I never knew anyone who did. They only performed in the dead of night. Anyway, it was just a tale that was around at that time... a ghost story. "They came from out of the rain." That's how people described them. Jack heads out of the office. With a glance at each other, Owen and Gwen quickly get up and follow him out. INT. THE HUB - WORKSTATIONS - CONTINUOUS OWEN : Jack, what did these Night travelers do ? JACK: Left a trail of damage and sorrow wherever they performed. INT. THE HUB - JACK'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Ianto and Toshiko continue to watch the film in Jack's office. IANTO : Tosh, can you run this frame by frame ? TOSHIKO : Er, sure. What are you looking for ? IANTO : I'm not sure. But something's wrong. Something's missing. INT. THE HUB - WORKSTATIONS - CONTINUOUS Gwen and Owen pick up some files. GWEN : This must be years back, now, yeah ? JACK : Eighty odd years. Then the traveling shows faded away. No one came to watch them and without an audience they died out... forgotten. Until all we have to remember them by were these film clips. IANTO (o.s.) : Jack ! They head back to the office. INT. THE HUB - JACK'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS IANTO : This film. It's not the same one we saw at the cinema. GWEN : Course it's the same one. IANTO : No, things are different. Tosh... Toshiko starts the film up again. The same images appear on the screen. IANTO : Easy to miss at first, but after watching it a few times I realized. (Points). Just there. There was a woman in front of that water tank. GWEN : Yeah there was, Ianto, you're right. Owen nods. OWEN : That's right, I remember her. Wearing almost nothing. The next image should be of the Ghostmaker, but he's gone, too. There's nothing but the empty platform. GWEN : And there was a man in like a top hat, a sort of MC. IANTO : Yeah. OWEN : That's right. He was reaching down to the audience. GWEN : Are you sure you brought the right can of film back ? Jack is in front of the screen. JACK : Positive. TOSHIKO : So what are we saying ? That two people from a piece of film have decided to go awol ? JACK (nods) : Yeah. Like you said... trapped in film forever. (Ianto nods). When they opened the cinema, it gave them a chance. When that kid ran the film, he let them loose. IANTO : So they've become physical ? They've escaped the film ? JACK : We need to find out more about the havoc they caused in the past. We need evidence. Possible witnesses. OWEN : Well, after all that time it'll be tricky. What... um... town and parish records ? GWEN : Sure, we can do that. How far back do you want us to go ? JACK : As far back as you can. We don't sleep till we find them. Toshiko, keep checking for sightings. There's got to be a way of tracing them. Ianto, with me, I need your local knowledge. Jack heads out. The others follow. GWEN : Oh, is that what you're calling it these days ? Toshiko stops the film. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE HUB - CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT Jack is sitting at the conference table pulling up various images on the wall monitor when Ianto walks in and sits in the seat next to him. IANTO : So, two people who should have been dead for years. What kind of creatures are they ?JACK : No one ever knew the night travelers were coming. They'd just appear from nowhere. Not like the team I was with... we'd send out flyers, bang drums, blow whistles. Ours was a small company. Working the UK. Trying to find paying customers. I was sent to investigate rumors of the Night travelers. IANTO : By who ? JACK : Long story. So I joined a traveling show. I was billed as "The Man Who Couldn't Die". IANTO : Ah. JACK : The Night travelers always found an audience. CUE : (PRE-LAP) Circus music in b.g. JACK : They knew where to look. EXT. WOODS - DEAD OF NIGHT (THE PAST) The Night Travelers have set up their circus on a grassy area in the woods. The place is busy with visitors. In the center is the Ghostmaker standing on a small platform and calling out attractions to the various acts. GHOSTMAKER : Step along now, ladies and gentlemen, come and see the show of a lifetime ! Fill your eyes with the spectacle of the tattooed man ! We move in through the crowds to the various acts, the two men in turbans juggling fire-lit pins, a tattooed man, the Mighty Stromboli lifting weights and the Amazing Pearl standing in front of her water tank. We move past the jugglers and past two clowns as we continue circling around the various acts. GHOSTMAKER : Witness for yourself the superhuman strength of the Mighty Stromboli ! He can take on Samson, Goliath and Hercules with one arm tied behind his back, and still have strength to dig their graves. We end back at the MC on the platform with the wooden sign, "The Joshua Joy Traveling Show". GHOSTMAKER : Come along now, ladies and gentlemen, the night won't wait forever. Come and see the amazing Pearl ! He indicates Pearl in front of her water tank. His voice softens as he introduces her. GHOSTMAKER : She lives in water. She sleeps among the waves. She can reach the bottom of the oceans. She has swum the seven seas. She is the nearest thing that you will ever see to a living mermaid. She will take your breath away. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE HUB - CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT Jack looks at printouts of the various cinemas in Cardiff. JACK : How many other old cinemas are there in Cardiff ? IANTO : Most of them have been pulled down. Ianto shows the Palisades Cinema is pulled up on the map. JACK : And the ones that are left ? IANTO : Converted. Ianto indicates the Plaza Picture House on the monitor map. IANTO : This one is a pub. Four-pint jugs for a fiver and girls in free before 11. INT. THE HUB - WORKSTATIONS - CONTINUOUS Toshiko finds something on the computers. TOSHIKO : I'm registering the sea ! Gwen and Owen join her as she continues to drill down the sighting. TOSHIKO : The sea ? Inland ? Running through the centre of town ? [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. STREET - NIGHT A mini-van, license #LR05 ZHG, travels along the road. INT. SUV (TRAVELING) - NIGHT Suddenly, it comes to a screeching stop. The driver is forced to brake for the Ghostmaker and Pearl standing in the middle of the road. Pearl has a beach ball tucked under her left arm. The mini-van stops. When we look at the road, no one's there. The Young Mum looks at her husband. The two children, a girl and a boy, are in the back seats. YOUNG MUM : What is it ? YOUNG DAD : I thought... I thought I saw something. YOUNG MUM : Saw what ? YOUNG DAD : Ghosts. She looks at the empty road. There's no one there. YOUNG MUM : Don't be stupid. The Young Dad looks at her and gasps. She turns and finds the Ghostmaker peering in and pressed up against the glass. She screams. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE HUB - CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT Images of various cinemas with closed signs are up on the monitor. Jack and Ianto continue to talk. IANTO : So the Electro is the only one left. JACK : Could the Night travelers have performed there ? IANTO : Possibly. JACK : If cinema killed the traveling show, maybe this is their way of fighting back. Their only chance to escape before every old movie theatre and piece of film has gone. (Sighs) What better way to get revenge ? IANTO : They were left forgotten, on pieces of film. JACK : And now they're looking for a new audience. INT. THE HUB - WORKSTATIONS - NIGHT Jack and Ianto return to the workstations to find Owen and Gwen with Toshiko. JACK : What is it, Tosh ? GWEN : She was picking up the sea. OWEN : In the middle of town. TOSHIKO : It's gone now. Her computer is retrieving data. TOSHIKO : I was getting the sound of waves. Seagulls. Her computer fails at 72%. TOSHIKO : I could almost smell the ozone. JACK : No other sightings ? TOSHIKO : No. JACK : What the hell are they up to ? [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ABANDONED POOL - NIGHT Pearl kneels in front of a small pool of water, probably left over from the recent rains. The Ghostmaker sits on the side watching her. The entire pool is lit by candles. Pearl gets up and heads back toward the Ghostmaker. PEARL : I like the lights. They make the rain glisten. And they're part of us. The Ghostmaker exhales. Ghostly wails sound. He pulls out the silver flask from his jacket pocket and holds it up to his ear to listen. He chuckles. He looks at her as she sits next to him. PEARL : Smell the water. He runs his nose along the length of her arm. PEARL : Taste it. He licks the palm of her hand. She reaches for the flask. He pulls it out of her reach. GHOSTMAKER : Careful. PEARL : How many now ? GHOSTMAKER : Six. PEARL : I wish I could see the air they once breathed. GHOSTMAKER : You know you can never see it. We could never see it. PEARL : We have their ghosts here. (Childishly). I can see them whenever I want. Our audience. They'll never leave us. GHOSTMAKER : We can't see. But we can hear. Listen. He holds the flask to her ear. She hears them and laughs. PEARL : I can ! GHOSTMAKER : Mm-hmm. PEARL : I can hear them. Little last breaths, still sighing their sighs. Can we bring the others ? Make ghosts forever ? (He thinks about it). The others shouldn't be in some old dark cupboard. They should be here with us. And I want to travel again, perform. GHOSTMAKER : All right. But first we need the rest of that film. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. CARDIFF CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY / ROOM - NIGHT The Senior Nurse leads Jack and Ianto through the hallway toward the room. SENIOR NURSE : Found in a car with their parents, near Hope Street. In the room are the two children hooked up to heart monitors. The younger nurse is there in the room, too. JACK: Oh, no. Jack sighs. JACK : What happened to the parents ? YOUNG NURSE : They're in the same cataleptic state. The Senior Nurse goes to check on the little girl. JACK (softly to Ianto) : They came from out of the rain. SENIOR NURSE (startled) : What did you say ? JACK : Nothing. Why ? SENIOR NURSE : Those words, "From out of the rain." I'm sure I've heard them before. (Thinks about it). Oh, I remember, it was Christina. She was a patient. JACK : Here ? SENIOR NURSE : No, at Providence Park; it's a psychiatric hospital. IANTO : I know it. SENIOR NURSE : I used to work there. She was a full-time patient, been there since she was a child. She was a strange one. Whenever anything, any kind of entertainment show was laid on, she became scared. She'd run away and hide. JACK : Did she say why ? SENIOR NURSE : Yes. She said they were coming to steal her last breath. (Jack and Ianto share a look). Poor love. The nurse leaves the room. Jack and Ianto look at each other. JACK : I think we've just found ourselves our first witness. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. PROVIDENCE PARK PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - GROUNDS - DAY Jack and Ianto talk with Christina. Ianto pushes her in her wheelchair as they head toward the covered seats. CHRISTINA : They came from out of the rain. At night. Came to the village. IANTO : How old were you at the time ? CHRISTINA : Oh, just a child. Five, I think, or six. Are you visiting someone ? JACK : Christina, we've come to see you. CHRISTINA : No one comes to see me. (Jack sits down and smiles at her. He touches her hand and his smile fades. Ianto sits next to him). Your eyes are older than your face. JACK : Is that a bad thing ? CHRISTINA : Yes. It means you don't belong. It means you're from nowhere. JACK : Christina, tell us about them. The people who came out of the rain. CHRISTINA : There was music... hurdy-gurdy music, acrobats, and a man with fire in his hands. IANTO : Who else was there ? CHRISTINA : A man in dark clothes, and a woman. A beautiful young woman in a silvery costume. She seemed to glisten. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ABANDONED POOL AREA - DAY Pearl is kneeling in front of a tray of water, the only remnants left of the rain. She scoops it with her hands and drinks it. She splashes the water on her face. She stands up and walks up the stairs, out of the pool, and over to the deteriorating stalls. The wooden door leading to the showers creaks as she pushes it open. INT. ABANDONED POOL - SHOWERS - CONTINUOUS She peers in and sees the six "ghosts" of their latest victims standing in the stall, all facing in one direction and not moving. She withdraws, the door creaking as it closes. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. PROVIDENCE PARK PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - GROUNDS - DAY CHRISTINA (to Ianto) : They touched you, I can sense it. They touched you as they passed you by. IANTO : Tell us about the man, Christina. CHRISTINA : Oh. Uh, he spoke to me. He asked if I would like to join the traveling show. He took a kind of flask out of his pocket. It was polished like silver. I asked him his name. (Shudders) Oh, I shall never forget it. I never shall. He said he was the Ghostmaker. He wanted to... take my breath and put it in his flask. He said I could travel with his circus, I would be in his audience forever. I turned and ran away as fast as I could. People went missing from the village that night. My mother, my father... Ianto reaches out and holds her hand. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE HUB - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY Jack is looking at his pocket watch. He tucks it into his vest pocket. Owen and Gwen share their findings with the entire team. GWEN : Here we go. Church Stretton, 1901. She has the article up on the monitor from the "Church Stretton Crier," dated August 11th, 1901. The headline reads, "Number of Missing Rises to Eight". GWEN : People went missing when a traveling show visited the town. And there was one earlier on, 1898. A small village called Wellsfield. Jack gives Toshiko and Ianto photocopies. GWEN : These disappearances... there's a lot of old wives' tales attached to them through the years. People still alive but being deprived of breath, children being told to hold their breath while the traveling show passes by. OWEN : Yeah, this local paper, didn't take it seriously. Uh... Hunstanton Chronicle, March 1911. Owen reads from a copy of the article with the headline, "School Mistress Pronounced Dead". OWEN : "Police and doctors were left both amused and baffled when Mr. Alfred Mace insisted that his dead wife could be brought back to life providing a certain flask could be found". He reckoned that his wife's last breath had been taken and put in a flask. JACK : A silver flask. IANTO : And the last breath of each victim. JACK : So that's how he makes his ghosts. OWEN : So if we find the flask... JACK : We can save them. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY Jonathan is returning to his loft. He walks across the long empty warehouse and pulls his keys out of his pocket. He stops when he sees his door partially opened. Cautious, he starts forward. He stops and looks behind him. Seeing nothing, he reaches for the door and pulls it open. The hinges creak. He walks inside. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - DAY - CONTINUOUS Jonathan pushes aside the curtain to the main room and sees that it's a mess. The film clips that were hanging are now on the floor. Someone was searching for something. He scratches the back of his head. Suddenly, he turns and slowly heads for the bathroom. We hear the sounds of water running. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - BATHROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS He turns the corner and sees the bathtub overflowing. There's someone in it. As he gets closer, he sees the bathtub filled to the rim with water, the person's knees and face just above the surface. Jonathan reaches out to see if she's still alive and Pearl suddenly lurches out of the water, her arm extended to touch him. Spooked, Jonathan turns and runs out of the bathroom. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - DAY - CONTINUOUS He runs out of the main room and out the door. Standing hidden in the shadows and watching is the Ghostmaker. INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY - CONTINUOUS Jonathan runs out of his flat, across the room and straight for down the stairs. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - DAY - CONTINUOUS Pearl steps into the main room to join the Ghostmaker, who is looking at the filmstrip. GHOSTMAKER : Now we have the film. Time to bring the others. EXT. STREET - DAY Jonathan runs out onto the sidewalk. He pulls out his cell phone and dials. A phone rings. EXT. CARDIFF CITY (STOCK) - DAY JONATHAN (v.o. Filtered) : Jack, this is Jonathan ! They're here ! They're at my flat ! You've got to get over here, now ! ZOOM down to the Torchwood SUV traveling on the road. EXT. STREET - DAY The Torchwood SUV appears on the street and stops on the side of the road. Jack and Ianto get out of the SUV. INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY Jack, Ianto and Jonathan head for his flat. Jack and Ianto have their guns out. JACK : Who's in there ? JONATHAN : A woman, lying under water. I thought she'd drowned. IANTO : Anyone else ? JONATHAN : No. They reach the open door. Jack motions for them to stop. Jack enters, then motions for them to follow. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - DAY - CONTINUOUS Jack enters the main room through the curtain. He looks around. There's no one. Jonathan and Ianto enter the room. Jonathan points to the hallway leading to the bathroom. Jack heads over to look. JONATHAN : Careful. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - BATHROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS Jack kicks the door open and finds the bathtub overflowing and empty. Whoever was in there is gone. He thinks about it. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE ELECTRO - LOBBY - DAY Dave and Faith enter the front doors and step into the lobby. They hear the piano music in the distance. DAVE PENN : Did Bernard say he was coming here today ? FAITH PENN : No. Dave and Faith head inside. INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - DAY Dave and Faith enter the theatre. Piano music is heard, but there's no one playing at the piano up on stage. They enter and look around. Faith sees her. FAITH PENN : David... He turns and they see Pearl carrying an old-fashioned torchlight as she makes her way across the front of the theatre. She stops at the aisle in front of them and holds up the lightbox. PEARL : This way, please. INT. JONATHAN'S FLAT - DAY - CONTINUOUS Jack, Ianto and Jonathan are in the main workroom. IANTO : So they haven't left the area. JACK : They probably can't. Probably need to be near the Electro. JONATHAN : All my old film cans have been opened. JACK : What was on them ? JONATHAN : Clips from circus sideshows. IANTO : They're bringing more through. Jack sighs and kneels down on his haunches in front of the film clips on the floor. JACK : Then we need to stop them. (To comm) Gwen, Owen. Meet us at the Electro. JONATHAN : Look, what's going on ? I've got to find my mum and dad. If anything's happened to them... Jack holds up a filmstrip. JONATHAN : Hey, there's that smell again. Like chemicals. IANTO : Yeah, I can smell it. Like when you develop a film. JONATHAN : That woman. She grabbed me. But her hand, it was different. (Jack looks up on the desk and picks up a hand-held camera). It wasn't like a hand. It wasn't like flesh. It was... it was like touching a piece of plastic, a piece of celluloid. Jack looks at the filmstrip again. JACK : They were on this film for eighty years. Became part of it. What if we filmed them ? IANTO : A film of a film ? JACK : Yeah. Then they'd be trapped. Is this thing loaded ? INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY Jonathan closes the flat door as they head out. JACK : If they were trapped on film before... IANTO : They can be got rid of in the same way. JACK : Let's suppose they're made of camphor and nitrate, made of shadows, made of light. Just enough light. IANTO : We film them. Capture them in that... JACK : ... then expose the film to as much light as possible. IANTO : Of course. We'd blank them out, we'd lose them. JACK : Let's hope so. GWEN (filtered) : Jack ? Jack activates his comm. JACK : Yeah ? GWEN (filtered) : We're at the Electro. Something's happening inside. JACK : Let's go. They run out. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. / EXT. THE ELECTRO - DAY Gwen pounds on the glass doors. They can hear the piano music. GWEN : Come on. Owen looks inside. Jack, Ianto and Jonathan arrive. GWEN : Do you hear that ? JONATHAN : Maybe it's my mum and dad. GWEN : Would they lock themselves in ? JONATHAN : No. Jonathan takes his keys out. Jack takes the keys from him and unlocks the door. JONATHAN : Please let them be okay. Please. He gets the doors open and they enter. INT. THE ELECTRO - LOBBY - DAY - CONTINUOUS They enter the lobby and head for the theatre. Jonathan rushes in. JONATHAN (shouts) : Mum ? Dad ? OWEN : Hey, easy... easy. GWEN : Whoa. Whoa. INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - DAY - CONTINUOUS They enter the theatre. JONATHAN : What's going on ? They find Dave and Faith sitting in the theatre seats and facing the front. They're not moving. JONATHAN : Mum ? GWEN : No ! No, Jonathan ! JONATHAN (shouts) : Mum ! Dad ! What's happened ? Please ! (He crouches next to his mum). Don't die, please ! Speak to me ! Gwen reaches for Jonathan, but he yanks his arm out of her grip. JONATHAN : Leave me alone ! IANTO : They've been frozen in place, a circus needs an audience. Organ music starts up. The curtains open. JACK : Get him out of here. GWEN : Jonathan, come on. OWEN : Come on ! Gwen grabs Jonathan. She and Owen pull him up and toward the door. JONATHAN : Leave me alone ! OWEN : Jonathan ! JONATHAN : Mum ! JACK : Owen, find out who's upstairs. Gwen and Owen leave with Jonathan. Ianto and Jack remain to watch the show. The projector lights up and the film starts. The strong man appears on film. Then, the two jugglers. IANTO : The same pictures as before. INTERCUT WITH : INT. THE ELECTRO - STAIRS TO PROJECTION ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS Owen starts up the steps to the projection room. He reaches the next floor and opens the nearby door to check the room nearest him. He reaches for the next door. CLOSE-UP : THE PROJECTOR The projector is running. INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - DAY - CONTINUOUS The circus acts continue to play on the monitor. The two clowns are doing their act. Jack and Ianto continue watching the show. The Mighty Stromboli is up on the screen flexing his muscles. He puts his barbell down. Jack checks his hand-held camera. The Mighty Stromboli steps out of the screen. IANTO : Jack. Jack and Ianto duck quickly behind the chairs. Pearl steps into view up in the front of the stage. Jack starts his camera. The Mighty Stromboli walks over to Pearl. She helps him off the stage. The two jugglers are up on the screen. IANTO: They're coming through... The two jugglers step out of the screen. One of them is holding the unlit pins. Jack continues filming them on his hand-held camera. The two jugglers are helped off the stage by Pearl and the Mighty Stromboli. In the back of the theatre, Gwen watches. [SCENE_BREAK] The two clowns are greeted and helped off the stage by the others. INT. THE ELECTRO - HALLWAY OUTSIDE PROJECTION ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS Owen bangs on the door with the butt of his gun. OWEN (shouts) : Open up ! INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - DAY - CONTINUOUS Jack, Ianto and Gwen watch. PEARL : We've done it. We're together again. Gwen ducks out of sight. PEARL : This place is ours. It belongs to us. Jack and Ianto stand up and back away. Jack continues filming the Night Travelers. PEARL : This whole city belongs to us ! Pearl notices Jack and Ianto backing away toward the door. Her smile fades. Jack and Ianto duck out of the theatre. INT. THE ELECTRO - HALLWAY OUTSIDE PROJECTION ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS Owen bangs on the door. The door opens and the Ghostmaker grabs Owen's mouth as he steps out of the projection room. He pushes him slowly back up to the hallway wall. Owen gasps and struggles to breathe. GHOSTMAKER : What are you ? There's not a breath in your poor, sad body. You're no use to me. The Ghostmaker lets Owen go and heads down the stairs. Owen continues to gasp. INT. THE ELECTRO - STAIRS TO / LOBBY - DAY - CONTINUOUS The Ghostmaker steps down into the lobby. Ianto and Gwen are right behind him. The Ghostmaker is clutching the silver flask in his hand. IANTO : The flask ! He's got it ! Gwen rushes to grab the flask. The Ghostmaker turns and grabs Gwen. She gasps for breath. He pulls the flask away from her and pushes her down to the floor. Ianto rushes forward and snatches the flask from the Ghostmaker's hand. IANTO : I've got it ! Ianto runs. EXT. THE ELECTRO - DAY - CONTINUOUS The front doors burst open. Ianto runs out onto the sidewalk and out across the street. He keeps running. INT. THE ELECTRO - LOBBY - DAY - CONTINUOUS Jack runs down the stairs as he holds the hand-held camera. JACK : Gwen, are you all right ? Jack runs over and helps Gwen to her feet. GWEN : Oh ! Yeah. JACK : Are you okay ? GWEN : Yes ! Owen staggers down the stairs into the lobby. He's holding the rail, unsteady on his feet and still panting, gasping for breath. JACK (turns) : Owen, look after the family. (To Gwen) Come on. Jack and Gwen run outside. Owen nods, then glances down at his gun. INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - DAY - CONTINUOUS From the front of the stage, the circus performers head through the aisle in a single line as they make their way toward the entrance as if on parade. The Mighty Stromboli is carrying one of the smaller clowns on his shoulders, followed by the second clown, the two jugglers, the tattooed man and Pearl. EXT. THE ELECTRO - DAY - CONTINUOUS Ianto continues to run down the street. He turns and appears to be heading back to the warehouse, Jonathan's flat. He glances behind him and starts up the stairs to the building. As he steps up, the Ghostmaker suddenly appears behind Ianto and grabs his shoulder. Ianto yells with pain and crumples to the ground. IANTO : Aaaah ! The Ghostmaker takes the flask from Ianto. He starts up the stairs out of Ianto's reach. Jack arrives carrying the hand-held camera. The Ghostmaker reaches the top of the steps just as Jack starts filming him. Gwen arrives and stops next to Jack. The Ghostmaker reaches for the flask cap. IANTO : No ! Please ! The Ghostmaker uncaps the flask. Jack stops filming. The Ghostmaker tosses the flask into the air. The flask floats across the air while a sparkly small cloud of white wispy air escapes out of the opening. IANTO : If their breaths escape the flask, all the victims will die. Jack opens the camera and pulls the film out. Another small cloud of sparkly white air escapes out of the flask as it continues to turn mid-air. Ianto moves into position under it, following the flask. Jack rips the film out of the camera. The Ghostmaker's eyes widen. He flashes and burns out like old film, and is gone. INT. THE ELECTRO - THEATRE - DAY - CONTINUOUS The procession of Night Travelers marches down the aisle. They flash and burn out like old film. Pearl screams as she, too, burns out. They're gone. EXT. OUTSIDE THE WAREHOUSE - DAY - CONTINUOUS Jack watches the flask. JACK : Quick ! We could lose them forever ! Ianto catches the flask. He covers the flask top with the palm of his hand. INT. ABANDONED POOL - SHOWERS The "ghosts" standing in the showers vanish one by one. INT. HOSPITAL - ROOM - DAY The nurse is reading the chart, her back to the patients in the beds. The Restaurant Owner surges up and gasps loudly for breath. She falls back onto the bed and dies. Nettie Williams surges up in her bed and gasps loudly for breath. She falls back onto the bed and dies. The heart monitors flatline. The Young Nurse and a doctor run into the room. NURSE : They're flat-lining ! Call the crash team. They each check on a patient in the room. EXT. OUTSIDE THE WAREHOUSE - DAY - CONTINUOUS Ianto holds the flask up to his ear. IANTO : One. I think we saved just one. Jack tucks the camera in his jacket pocket. Ianto can hear the eerie breath coming from the flask. IANTO : I hear it, Jack. Gwen caps the flask. IANTO : I heard it. Something inside calling out to me. JACK : Okay. She steps away. Jack takes the flask and looks at it. JACK : So we managed to save one. (He looks at them). But which one ? INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - DAY The Young Nurse walks and talks with Jack and Ianto. YOUNG NURSE : There was nothing we could do. They all died so suddenly. Except this poor little soul. She pushes the room doors open and enters. INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS She leads them to the last remaining patient, the young boy. YOUNG NURSE : I suppose he'll be next to go. Jack steps up to the bed and feels for the little boy's pulse and leans in close to feel for any signs of breathing. The Young Nurse is alarmed. YOUNG NURSE : What are you doing ? JACK : I need your help. Jack puts the flask down on the bed. YOUNG NURSE : What is that thing ? JACK : Please. Just trust me. Give me a hand. Jack lifts the little boy onto his lap and holds him. YOUNG NURSE : Careful. JACK : Hold his head. Jack takes the flask and uncaps it. He holds his thumb over the lip of the flask to prevent anything from escaping. YOUNG NURSE (wary) : What's in there ? JACK : Something that belongs to him. His last breath... his life. Jack holds the open flask near the little boy's mouth. The white wisp of breath escapes out of the flask and into the boy's mouth. The little boy comes alive gasping for breath. He coughs. YOUNG NURSE (alarmed) : What have you done to him ? Ianto watches with tears in his eyes. IANTO : It worked. The little boy looks at Jack. JACK : Welcome back. The little boy smiles. EXT. CARDIFF CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT A bay view of the city lights. EXT. CARDIFF CITY (STOCK) - DAY A bay view of the city. INT. THE HUB - JACK'S OFFICE - DAY Ianto is filling out the information on the evidence bag. JACK : Those reels of film in Jonathan's workroom... Ianto looks at Jack. IANTO : I took them out, destroyed them. Ianto puts his pen down. IANTO : Let's hope that's... uh... an end to it. JACK : What worries me are all those long lost pieces of film, tucked away in dusty cellars, hidden in lofts. The Night Travelers could still be there, somewhere. Just waiting. Ianto picks up the silver flask, gives it to Jack and turns to leave the office. Jack looks at the flask. EXT. RANDOM SWAP MEET - DAY A group of people rummage through the various items set out near the back of various cars and trucks. A father, who is with his son, picks up a film canister and looks at it. He looks at the owner. FATHER : How much is this ? INTERCUT WITH : INT. THE HUB - JACK'S OFFICE - DAY Jack spins the combination lock to the safe in his office. It clicks and he opens the heavy safe door. He opens the secure compartment. EXT. SWAP MEET - DAY The father and son are carrying the old film canisters. The son has his film canister on his skateboard. He's not paying attention and the canister slides off the skateboard, the lid falling open when it hits the pavement. He kneels to cover it and pick it up. INT. THE HUB - JACK'S OFFICE - DAY Faint organ circus music plays. Jack pauses when he hears the faint music. It stops. He listens and hears nothing but silence. Jack puts the silver flask in the locker compartment. He presses the button and the door slides shut.	Plan: A: an old cinema; Q: What re-opens in Cardiff? A: horrors; Q: What is re-emerging from the past when an old cinema re-opens? A: bodies; Q: What is found caught between life and death? A: Torchwood; Q: Who must act fast? A: the Night Travellers; Q: Who are the mysterious killers? Summary: When an old cinema re-opens, past horrors emerge to stalk the streets of Cardiff. As bodies are found caught between life and death, Torchwood must act fast. Who are the Night Travellers and how can Torchwood capture these mysterious killers?
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- DAY] [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] FLASH TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE CRACKED KILN - PARKING LOT - DAY] (The SUV turns into the parking lot and parks.) (MARC and ANN, each carrying a cup of coffee walk up to the front door. MARC tries to unlock the door but drops the keys. ANN hands him her cup of coffee.) Ann: Oh ... honey, here. Take this. (ANN kneels down to pick up the key and unlocks the door. They walk inside and find the place a mess. Cracked pottery is on the floor.) Marc: Not again. Ann: We are buying that alarm system. Marc: No argument from me. (They make their way to the back to check the register.) Ann: I'm serious. They got the cash. Why did they have to be such a mess? (ANN looks around. MARC looks behind the counter and sees something.) Marc: Oh, my god... Ann: What? What's wrong? Marc: Call 911. (On the floor is a dead body with blood on the floor near his head.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT./INT. THE CRACKED KILN - DAY] (NICK drives the SUV into the parking lot. He, CATHERINE and GRISSOM get out of the car and make their way into the store.) (They gingerly walk over the cracked pottery on the floor and walk over toward the back where the body is.) Grissom: Introductions? Brass: Joseph Felton, 44. Not an employee; no reason to be here. Grissom: Mind if he and I have a moment together? Brass: No. (GRISSOM steps forward toward the body. He kneels down to look it over.) (Cut to: CATHERINE dusts the cash register.) (Cut to: NICK snaps a photo of the back door. He turns around and snaps another photo.) (Cut to: CATHERINE dusts the garden gnomes on the shelf.) (Cut to: GRISSOM looks down at the body, then picks up his sketch pad and pen. He stands up.) (Cut to: NICK snaps a photo of the safe.) Brass: Burn marks? Nick: Unusual way to penetrate a safe. (NICK snaps another photo.) Brass: Hmm ... Nick: (looks up at BRASS) How much was taken? Brass: Three hundred and something, small bills. Grissom: (o.s.) Multiple contusions to the back of the skull. Might've been taken by surprise. Catherine: Robbery interruptus? Grissom: Yeah, I think our robbery suspect is a homicide victim. Catherine: One way to beat the rap. HARD CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (DR. ROBBINS goes over the findings with CATHERINE and NICK.) Dr. Albert Robbins: This is an easy one. The guy from the pottery store has got three hits to the head. Trauma to the brain stem was fatal. Death was instantaneous. Catherine: Can you tell us anything about the murder weapon? Dr. Albert Robbins: Nothing definite. But I swabbed the points of impact. Slide's under the microscope. (He nods toward the scope. NICK heads over to check it out.) [SCOPE VIEW of the swab] Nick: Yellow looks like transfer from the murder weapon but what's with the glitter? (NICK looks up and back at DR. ROBBINS.) Dr. Albert Robbins: Unidentified mineral. I sent a sample to trace for analysis. Catherine: Hey, Doc, you have a comb? (DR. ROBBINS looks up at CATHERINE. NICK also looks at her.) Nick: Your hair looks great, Cath. Catherine: Gee, thanks, Nick. (DR. ROBBINS hands CATHERINE a comb. She steps forward with a piece of paper.) Dr. Albert Robbins: Guy's still dirty. They don't get a bath till evidence is collected. Catherine: That's what I'm doing although I don't think this is dirt. (CATHERINE takes a sample of the stuff in the body's hair.) Catherine: He's covered in spores. (She takes out a magnifying glass to look at the spores under it.) Catherine: I think these are from a fern. Nick: Well, the back entrance was overgrown with them. (Quick flashback to: JOSEPH FELTON walking up to the back door through the ferns. The top leaves of the fern brush the top of his head. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: A fern plant deposits billions of spores in its lifetime. Most are just dust in the wind. In our case they're evidence. As good as fingerprints or fibers in placing a suspect at a crime scene. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB - DAY] (CATHERINE walks up to GRISSOM who is in the print lab sitting behind the computer.) Catherine: Hey, you forget about the coroner? Grissom: Melissa Marlowe. Catherine: Excuse me? (GRISSOM looks up at CATHERINE.) Grissom: You lifted 38 prints from the pottery store. I scanned them through AFIS. One came back. Melissa Marlowe. (GRISSOM points to the prints on the monitor.) Catherine: Why do I know that name? Grissom: Kidnapping - Colorado -- 21 years ago ... the little girl. Catherine: Oh, that Melissa Marlowe. Wasn't she presumed dead? Grissom: Well, not anymore on the left is Melissa Marlowe's print, age four -- preschool fingerprinting initiative. On the right is a print that you lifted from the crime scene. Catherine: I don't see a match. Grissom: Neither did I but since fingerprints are set for life during the fourth month of fetal development I looked beyond the size differential. (GRISSOM hits a key on the keyboard. The computer beeps and three red dots appear on the blue print on the left. The same three reference dots appear on the yellow print on the right.) Grissom: Now, both prints are ulnar loops. Bifurcation, recurve and ridge endings are identical. (GRISSOM puts the blue print over the yellow print.) Grissom: I've aligned the prints along the delta. (The two prints match up exactly. The computer reads: FORENSIC RIDGE ANALYSIS MATCH: 100%.) Catherine: You've got a perfect match. Wait. Is she a suspect in the homicide? Grissom: No. Her print wasn't fresh. There was dust on it. Has to be a few weeks old. I think we have two separate cases. So I'm going to take the new lead in the old kidnapping case. Catherine: And Nick and I will cover the homicide. (GRISSOM nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. WINSTON RESIDENCE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WINSTON RESIDENCE -- SEVEN HILLS - MIDDLE CLASS HOME - DAY] (A camera flashes. A picture is taken of the remains of a burned out chair.) Sara: Nadine Winston falls asleep in that chair and incinerates. We can make history. (SARA and WARRICK stand looking at the hole in the burned chair's upholstery.) Warrick: Oh, come on, now. Don't tell me you believe in that bs. (SARA reaches for the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table.) Sara: No. Of course not. I'm a scientist. I just ... (SARA looks from the cigarettes back to the chair.) Sara: She has been reduced to ashes. (Quick flashback to: NADINE WINSTON burning in the chair.) Warrick: (V.O.) Come on, Sara. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: Spontaneous human combustion is science fiction. Sara: I know. Warrick: There's no such thing as a human torch. Sara: What if it is real, and we've uncovered it? Warrick: Sara, this is a crime scene. Stay with me here, okay? Don't lose it. Sara: I'm not. I'm just open to all theories. Warrick: What's that? Sara: Looks like cotton fiber ... possibly from a nightgown. It's barely scorched. Weird. It's like the body burned, but ... the clothing was fire retardant. (Some ash falls on WARRICK. He brushes it aside and looks up to see where it's coming from.) Warrick: Wow. Check that out. (In the ceiling, there's a hole burned directly above the chair. SARA stands up and looks at the hole in the ceiling.) Sara: Fire practically burned a hole in the roof but it's isolated in one spot. Warrick: It's as if the fire created a chimney for itself. Sara: The victim -- she live alone? Officer Arvington: Husband's already at the station. (WARRICK raises the camera and takes a picture of the hole in the ceiling.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (SGT. O'RILEY interviews LARRY WINSTON.) Larry Winston: I am telling you, I have no idea what happened to my wife. [OBSERVATION ROOM] (WARRICK and SARA watch the interview.) Sgt. O'Riley: Were you having marital problems? [INTERVIEW ROOM] Larry Winston: No. We were like newlyweds. Sgt. O'Riley: If I understand you correctly you went to bed. Nadine fell asleep in the easy chair. Ten hours later, you woke up, walked into the living room and she was a pile of ash. (SARA looks at WARRICK.) Sara: A human torch. Warrick: (retorts) Yeah, right. Sgt. O'Riley: You say you were like newlyweds? Larry Winston: Yeah. Sgt. O'Riley: But the two of you weren't sleeping in the same bed. Warrick: Good question. Larry Winston: She snored. It was a problem, but ... A small one. Sgt. O'Riley: Mr. Winston ... do you know how to use a blowtorch? Warrick: Another good question. Larry Winston: (angry) Look, I came down to this station on my own. If I can be helpful, let me know! (He takes the visitor pass on his jacket off and slams it on the table in front of O'RILEY. He stands up and storms out of the interview room.) Warrick: So do you still think it's spontaneous combustion? Sara: Theories give way to conclusions once all the evidence is in. I am merely thinking about the next piece of evidence. Warrick: (not buying it) Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (BRASS walks into the lab. NICK is going through some old case files.) Brass: Yeah. Hey, Nicky, you paged me? Nick: Yeah. Yeah, Jim, hi. I took these photos at the crime scene. (NICK puts a stack of photos down on the table in front of BRASS.) Nick: Safe was cracked with a plasma lance. BRASS Okay, I'll bite. Nick: It's a high-powered electric blaster. It could cut through that hard plate with extreme precision. It's not common, but effective. Brass: Yeah. Nick: Crime scene photo from a robbery case in '99. (NICK puts another photo on the table in front of BRASS from a different crime scene.) Nick: Joseph Felton our dead guy, was arrested but granted immunity in exchange for his testimony against his partner, Darin Hanson who used a plasma lance to crack that safe. Darin Hanson ... (NICK hands BRASS the photo of DARIN HANSON.) Nick: ... was released from prison last month. His last known address -Vegas. Brass: I see where you're going. So Hanson gets out of jail, hooks up with our dead guy. Nick: Yeah, they hook it up. (Quick flashback to: DARIN HANSON and JOSEPH FELTON break into the back of THE CRACKED KILN.) Nick: (V.O.) ... break through the rear entrance of the pottery store. (Cut to: They get the door open. Flash to: HANSON uses the plasma lance to cut through the safe.) Nick: (V.O.) Hanson lances the safe ... (Cut to: The safe is opened and HANSON allows FELTON to get the cash box inside.) Nick: (V.O.) Once the safe is cracked, Hanson steps back allowing Felton to collect the cash. (Cut to: FELTON takes the cash box and opens it. HANSON grabs something and knocks him on the back of the head with it. FELTON falls to the floor. Dead.) Nick: (V.O.) With Felton's attention diverted Hanson seizes the moment ... kills him. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: Revenge for testifying against him and putting him in prison. Brass: That's not bad. Any chance you guys found the murder weapon? Nick: No, no ... but I think we know who to ask. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE] (BRASS, NICK and CATHERINE interview DARIN HANSON) Darin Hanson: I haven't seen Joseph Felton since the trial two years ago. Nick: So it's a coincidence that he was killed shortly after you were released from prison. Darin Hanson: Yeah. Guy put me in jail. I had no reason to see him again. Catherine: He put you in the "gray bar"? Sounds like motive to me. Brass: Darin ... you and Felton, you go back, huh? Darin Hanson: Mm-hmm. Knew the guy fifteen years. My folks lived across the street from him. We'd barbecue together with his wife and daughter. Catherine: He must have really pissed you off when he turned on you. Nick: The transcript from your trial says that you used a plasma lance in that '99 burglary, and there it is again, Darin. Darin Hanson: Joe was the lance guy. He taught me how to break into safes. That's why the M.O.'S the same. Brass: Where were you this morning early A.M.? Darin Hanson: I was in Barstow all week. Just got back this afternoon. (DARIN looks at NICK who stares at him doubtfully. He sighs and pulls out his wallet.) Darin Hanson: Okay ... here you go ... receipts from the trip. Go ahead. (CATHERINE looks at the receipts. She hands them to BRASS.) Catherine: Looks authentic. Cactus Pine Cafe, Barstow, noon today. (BRASS looks at DARIN HANSON, then turns to look at CATHERINE.) Brass: We can't hold him. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CONFERENCE ROOM] (GRISSOM talks with HANK and MRS. MARLOWE as he looks through photographs of MELISSA MARLOWE as a child.) Mrs. Marlowe: 21 years ago, the chief of police sat in our living room told us our daughter was dead. Hank Marlowe: After all this time, she's in Vegas? That's a hundred miles from our home. Grissom: Well, we still don't know where she is. Her prints in the pottery store tell us that she was here possibly a few weeks ago, but Vegas is a tourist town. Hank Marlowe: But you know she's alive. Grissom: I'm still not sure we can find her. Mrs. Marlowe: She's our only child. We never gave up hope. We're not giving up now. Teri Miller: (o.s.) Excuse me. (GRISSOM looks up and sees TERI MILLER at the door.) Grissom: Teri ... come in. Teri Miller: Hi. (GRISSOM stands and makes the introductions.) Grissom: Teri Miller, Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe. Teri Miller: Hello. Mrs. Marlowe: Hi. Grissom: Teri is a forensic artist. I called her to help us. Teri Miller: Did you bring the photographs of Melissa? Mrs. Marlowe: Yes, but I don't see how they can help. In some of those, she's just an infant. Teri Miller: It doesn't matter. Do you remember her eyes? Mrs. Marlowe: I could never forget. Teri Miller: As we age, our eyes don't change. That's where we'll start. Grissom: Using computer software Teri can age Melissa's picture so that we can determine what she looks like today at age 25. Then we send it off to every law enforcement agency in the state. Hank Marlowe: It's been so long. Tell us the truth. What are our chances? Grissom: Well, 21 years ago, they told you that your daughter was dead. Now we're moving in the right direction. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - MORGUE] (CATHERINE leads TAMMY FELTON into the morgue to ID JOSEPH FELTON'S body.) Tammy Felton: Where did you find him? Catherine: At a pottery store on Stansberry Street. Tammy, we've already I.D.'D your father. If you don't want to see him, I'd understand. Tammy Felton: No. I want to say good-bye. Catherine: Well, don't be surprised by some swelling and discoloration. (CATHERINE opens the unit and takes out the table with JOSEPH FELTON'S body on it. TAMMY stares at the body and starts to cry.) Catherine: You have any other family? Tammy Felton: No. Catherine: I can put you in touch with a counselor if you need to talk. Tammy Felton: No, thank you. (TAMMY turns away and steps aside.) Catherine: Is there anything you need? (CATHERINE puts the body back and closes the door. She turns to look at TAMMY and notices the spores on her jacket lapel.) Catherine: Tammy ... were you at the pottery store with your father? Tammy Felton: What are you talking about? (CATHERINE picks up a magnifying glass to look at the spores.) Catherine: There's some plant spores on your sweater. We found them on your father, too, and matched them to some ferns behind the pottery store. Tammy Felton: I don't understand. (CATHERINE takes a tape to lift the spores off of the jacket.) Tammy Felton: What are you doing? Catherine: I'm taking these spores into evidence. They place you at the crime scene. Is there anything you want to tell me? Tammy Felton: Okay, I was there. (Quick flashback to: At the Cracked Kiln's back door, JOSEPH FELTON tries to unlock it. TAMMY FELTON walks up to him, the tall ferns brushing her as she walks by. She stops in front of her father.) Tammy Felton: Dad! Dad, don't do this. I'll get a job. We don't need the money. Not like this. Joseph Felton: Tammy, go home. (Flash to: As she leaves, the ferns brush her jacket lapel.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Tammy Felton: And I don't know what happened after that. Catherine: Why didn't you just tell me that? Tammy Felton: I wanted to preserve the good memories not remember my dad as a thief. (she starts crying) I didn't kill him. I loved him. I need a release from your office ... so I can bury my father. (TAMMY walks past CATHERINE and out the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORESNIC AUTOPSY] (DAVID PHILLIPS explains the foot to WARRICK and SARA.) Warrick: Okay, tell me everything you can about this foot. David Phillips: Where's the rest of the body? Sara: Incinerated. Lab results from the ashes came back negative for accelerant. Nothing flammable but sebaceous glutamate. David Phillips: Human fat. Well ... I can tell you that the malleolus -- the ankle bone -- is completely hollowed out. (Quick CGI POV to: The camera swings upward to the ankle part of the foot, then downward to show that the foot is hollow.) David Phillips: (V.O.) Bone marrow was reduced to ash. (End of CGI POV.) David Phillips: Which means that the foot was burned off the body, not severed. That's consistent with your theory of spontaneous combustion. Warrick: How do you know about Sara's theory? David Phillips: Word gets around. Warrick: No. You're just siding with Sara 'cause you got a crush on her. David Phillips: (smiling) No, that's why I wore a clean coat. I'm just reporting my observations. If the foot had been severed, the marrow would still be intact. Warrick: So your official "observation" is spontaneous combustion? David Phillips: Not yet. I want to send a scraping down to toxicology. (DAVID turns to get the around the table, but SARA'S in his way.) David Phillips: Excuse me. (SARA smiles and moves. She also turns and smiles at WARRICK.) David Phillips: I want to check for any flammable compounds in the blood. Don't expect much. (DAVID takes a sample and puts it on a slide.) David Phillips: The quality of the sample may have been compromised by the heat. Sara: I'm going to go talk to Grissom -- see what he thinks. Warrick: No, no. We're a team. The only place we're going is back down to that crime scene. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE] (TERI sits in front of the computer working on the aging composite while GRISSOM stands behind her watching over her shoulder.) Teri Miller: Okay, software's loaded. Grissom: It's preprogrammed with developmental averages? Teri Miller: Exactly. Aging is about predictable craniofacial growth. Faces grow down and out. So the first step is to stretch the bottom half of the face. (TERI adjusts the bottom half of the face.) Teri Miller: You try. (TERI looks up at GRISSOM who looks back down at her.) Teri Miller: (urging) Go ahead. (GRISSOM adjusts the bottom half of the face and puts the line too low. The faces adjusts abnormally. They laugh.) Grissom: No, no. Maybe you should drive. Teri Miller: Good idea. Here we go. So, at age four, the bridge of the nose is taking shape and the interorbital distance is established. And baby teeth are visible. (She makes the adjustment. GRISSOM leans in to whisper to her.) Grissom: I have a question. Teri Miller: Okay. Grissom: Since I screwed up our last date, will we ever have dinner again? Teri Miller: (smiles) Oh, we'll have dinner ... just not together. So the ears are low and large in proportion to the head. (She adjusts the photo.) Grissom: You know, I did apologize. Teri Miller: And you're forgiven. (GRISSOM straightens to watch from behind TERI.) Teri Miller: So over the next ten years, the face elongates the skin thickens, the hair pattern is set and the small deciduous teeth are replaced by the secondary dentition. (She makes the final adjustment to the photo.) Teri Miller: Once the face is aged I look to the mother to fill in the blanks. (The screen splits into two. The picture of MELISSA moves to the left and a second picture of MRS. MARLOWE appears on the right.) Grissom: Is that Mrs. Marlowe? Teri Miller: Uh-huh. Most daughters at age 25 age quite similar to their mothers. (TERI uses the mouse to cut and copy the forehead and chin portion from the mother to the daughter.) Teri Miller: A network of grids allows me to fine-tune the tiniest facial characteristics one section at a time. I'm just softening a few edges, growing the hair ... and we're done. (TERI makes the adjustments.) Grissom: Wow. Hello, Melissa. (CATHERINE walks in to the doorway.) Catherine: Am I interrupting? Teri Miller: Not at all. You're just in time. Grissom: Catherine, say hello to Melissa Marlowe. (GRISSOM turns the monitor toward CATHERINE. She looks at the photo composite and her eyes widen.) Catherine: Oh, my god. Grissom: What? Catherine: That's Tammy Felton and we've already met. (Camera holds on GRISSOM'S surprised look.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (GRISSOM, CATHERINE and NICK walk down the hallway as they fill each other in.) Nick: Tammy Felton's our murder suspect? Catherine: She was kidnapped 21 years ago and may have killed the man who raised her -- possibly the same man who kidnapped her. Nick: Whoa, wait. I thought her prints from the crime scene -- they weren't fresh. Grissom: Yeah, well, she could've cased the place weeks ago and then remembered to wear gloves on the big night. Catherine: Hey, Nick. So what's the word on the murder weapon? Nick: Well, the swab from the head wound's at trace. Grissom: And? Nick: I'm on it. (NICK leaves as GRISSOM turns to CATHERINE.) Grissom: You and I have an appointment with our shrink. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DR. KANE'S OFFICE -- DAY] (GRISSOM and CATHERINE sit behind DR. PHILLIP KANE'S desk. DR. KANE fiddles with a baseball bat. He holds it out to GRISSOM to help him.) Dr. Phillip Kane: Here. You twirl, I'll talk. (GRISSOM stands up as he holds the bat so that DR. KANE can tape up the handle.) Dr. Phillip Kane: My son has little league in an hour. He's scared of the ball. Grissom: You think this new bat's going to do the trick? (DR. KANE chuckles.) Catherine: Why don't you just talk with him? (DR. KANE silently chuckles at the thought.) Catherine: Dr. Kane, this girl was kidnapped at age four. Would she have any recollection of her prior life? Dr. Phillip Kane: The theory of infantile amnesia suggests that we have no cognitive memory before the age of three but since Tammy -- or Melissa -- was taken from her biological parents at age four she may remember something of her former life. Grissom: But these memories would be ... tenuous? Dr. Phillip Kane: A sound or a smell might awaken some latent image or feeling but she'd have difficulty contextualizing these sensations. Catherine: That's got to be frustrating. (DR. KANE finishes wrapping the bat and takes it from GRISSOM.) Dr. Phillip Kane: And it's precisely that frustration which dominates this woman's present state of mind. Kidnapped children at that age tend to exhibit some degree of sociopathy as adults. Catherine: Such as? Grissom: Inability to feel guilt, compassion or love, right? Dr. Phillip Kane: Correct. But the most defining characteristic is their instinct for survival. There's nothing that they won't do. Catherine: Tammy Felton needs help. She may be a suspect, but she's also a victim. Grissom: Cath, meet with her again. Ask open questions. (GRISSOM turns to shake DR. KANE'S hand. CATHERINE stands up to leave.) Grissom: Thanks for your insights, Philip. I'll let you know how this unfolds. Dr. Phillip Kane: Gil ... be careful. Sociopaths are dangerous because they don't function by the same... moral code as the rest of us. Grissom: Welcome to my world. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WINSTON RESIDENCE -- DAY] (WARRICK and SARA go back to the house.) Sara: I checked with homicide again. They found no evidence of foul play. Warrick: What about the husband -- is he still a suspect? Sara: No motive. O'Riley spoke with friends and relatives. They were a loving couple. Warrick: What about, uh ... life insurance policies? Sara: No, and you're reaching. Warrick: I'm not the one who's reaching here. Sara: We're scientists, right? We want answers, the satisfaction of certainty. I'm not ignoring scientific method. I'm just keeping an open mind. If we eliminate all the alternatives we're left with spontaneous combustion. That's exciting! Warrick: That would be cool, but you've been jumping to conclusions from minute one. Sara: She's a pile of ash. (WARRICK stands up with an instrument in his hand.) Warrick: Well, I brought the ion detector. This will pick up even the smallest traces of hydrocarbon fumes. Sara: Great. Warrick: I don't care what the lab says. This puppy will reveal exactly what accelerant was used to start the fire. (He turns the detector on and it beeps steadily. He finds nothing.) Sara: Well? (WARRICK keeps at it. Then turns it off.) Warrick: Nothing. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY] (GREG is on the phone with his back to the door. He doesn't notice NICK walk into the lab.) Greg Sanders: (to phone) You know I love you. Yes ... no, I love you more. No, I love you more. (NICK clears his throat.) (GREG turns around and sees NICK standing there. He finishes up his phone call.) Greg Sanders: (to phone) Bye, baby. (GREG stands and hangs up the phone.) Nick: Do you have the results on the swab yet? Greg Sanders: Uh ... Nick: Uh... from the dead guy at the pottery store? The coroner sent over a sample. You were supposed to analyze the mineral content. Greg Sanders: Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Grissom has just been running me around like a lapdog. I haven't had a chance. Nick: Grissom's on a missing persons-- he hasn't sent you anything. Greg Sanders: Did I say Grissom? No, I meant Catherine. Nick: Oh, yeah. Catherine's working with me. Greg Sanders: Oh. Well, what do you say we check out that swab then, huh? Nick: Great. (GREG laughs and opens the refrigeration unit to get the sample out.) Greg Sanders: Don't you ever goof off, huh? Do you ever get a little lost in life? Nick: No. Greg Sanders: Well, you should. (GREG puts the slide under the scope.) Greg Sanders: Okay... (He looks under the scope.) [SCOPE VIEW of slide.] Nick: Do you see the sparkly bits? Greg Sanders: Fluorescent minerals. Interesting. (He pulls back and thinks a moment.) Greg Sanders: Here, do me a favor, will you? (GREG hands NICK a pair of goggles, then steps to the side while NICK moves around the table to get behind the scope.) Greg Sanders: Put your nose down the scope. And, when you see the sparkling bits glow give a shout. (GREG turns the Rofin device on and attaches the nozzle to it. He turns the lights on as NICK puts on his goggles.) (GREG adjusts the machine to P2 / 505.) Greg Sanders: Okay, ready? Nick: Yeah, ready. (GREG puts the light on the metal as NICK looks through the scope.) [SCOPE VIEW of slide] Greg Sanders: Lead. (GREG adjusts the light machine.) Greg Sanders: Zinc. [SCOPE VIEW of the slide] (He adjusts the light machine.) Greg Sanders: Lithium. Anything? Nick: Nothing yet. (GREG adjusts the machine to P2 / 650.) [SCOPE VIEW of the slide] Greg Sanders: Manganese. (GREG adjusts the machine again.) Greg Sanders: Petroleum. (He makes one final adjustment and the pieces glow.) [SCOPE VIEW of the slide] Greg Sanders: All right, how about this? Nick: Whoa, whoa, whoa ... stop. Greg Sanders: It's uranium. (GREG and NICK take off their goggles.) Nick: Are you serious? Greg Sanders: Simple quantum mechanics. When the molecule is bombarded with energy at a specific level the electrons excite, causing the mineral to glow. And, at this wavelength, it's definitely uranium. Nick: Which is radioactive. Do we need to evacuate the building or anything? Greg Sanders: The amount is trace. We should be fine. Nick: You sure? Greg Sanders: No. (NICK looks worriedly at his hands.) Greg Sanders: But I can tell you one thing for sure -- there is definitely uranium on your murder weapon. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- DAY] (NICK is busy scrubbing his hands when GRISSOM walks into the room.) Grissom: I hear that, uh, Greg found uranium on the swab from Felton's skull. Nick: Yeah. He says I'm okay, but you know Greg. Tell me, am I radiating a green glow? Grissom: You'll be fine, silkwood. Nick: What's uranium doing on a murder weapon anyway? Grissom: Well, before Peter Parker was bit by that radioactive spider and became spider-man back in the '50s oxidized uranium flecks were used as color enhancers. Nick: Color enhancers? Grissom: Like paint? Paints, dyes, glazes... since our guy was killed in a pottery store... Nick: Say no more. (NICK throws the towel away and walks out of the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE CRACKED KILN -- DAY] (NICK uses the geiger counter in the store. He goes from product to product looking at the counter. Finally, the counter starts ticking wildly as he points to the gnome figurine.) (NICK picks up the figurine and sees the pieces of hair and blood on the chipped backside.) Nick: (chuckles) You got to be kidding me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- DAY] (GRISSOM interviews HANK and MRS. MARLOWE.) Mrs. Marlowe: You found Melissa? Grissom: Yes. Mrs. Marlowe: When can we see her? Grissom: It's not quite that simple. Hank Marlowe: What do you mean? Grissom: Well, I don't want to be evasive. It's just that, uh ... we suspect she might have committed a crime. Mrs. Marlowe: What kind of crime? Grissom: A homicide. Mrs. Marlowe: This can't be happening. Hank Marlowe: Mr. Grissom, we want to see our daughter-- now. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (CATHERINE interviews MELISSA MARLOWE/TAMMY FELTON.) Catherine: Tell me about your mother. Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: What's she got to do with this? Catherine: Tammy, if you've got nothing to hide and you want me to find out who killed your father why don't you just answer my questions? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Mara, my mother ... died a few years ago. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- DAY] (GRISSOM leads the MARLOWES down the hallway.) Grissom: I can let you see her, but I can't allow you to talk to her -- not right now -- and not under these circumstances. (They turn the corner and walk into the OBSERVATION ROOM.) [OBSERVATION ROOM] (Through the glass, they watch as CATHERINE interviews MELISSA / TAMMY.) Catherine: Your parents, were they close? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: They loved each other. Catherine: Do you have any siblings? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Only child. Catherine: How was your childhood? Were you a happy child? Did you have any friends? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Look, I don't see how these questions are going to help you. May I go? Catherine: Sure. (MELISSA/TAMMY stands up and leaves the room. The door closes behind her.) (MRS. MARLOWE watches, then runs out of the observation room and into the hallway to catch up with her.) (GRISSOM sees her run and chases after her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS (MRS. MARLOWE turns the corner and sees MELISSA/TAMMY walking. She runs to her, calling her daughter's name.) Mrs. Marlowe: Melissa? ... Melissa?! (She reaches MELISSA/TAMMY and pulls her around.) Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Excuse me? Mrs. Marlowe: It's mom ... (MRS. MARLOWE hugs MELISSA/TAMMY warmly.) (GRISSOM and HANK MARLOWE catch up with them.) Mrs. Marlowe: ... baby... (MELISSA/TAMMY looks confused, then pushes MRS. MARLOWE away from her.) Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: (hard) Lady ... I'm not your daughter. (MELISSA/TAMMY turns around and walks down the hallway toward the door. MRS. MARLOWE starts to cry.) Mrs. Marlowe: Who is she? Her name? Who is she now? Catherine: Tammy -- Tammy Felton. Mrs. Marlowe: Oh, my god. Catherine: What? (MRS. MARLOWE cries.) Hank Marlowe: Mara Felton was our baby-sitter. The police questioned Mara when Melissa disappeared. Catherine: Tammy referred to her mother as Mara, now deceased. Mrs. Marlowe: I am her mother. Catherine: Of course. I didn't mean ... Hank Marlowe: We need a lawyer. Grissom: Why would you need a lawyer? Hank Marlowe: Not for us; for our daughter. (The MARLOWES turn and leave. CATHERINE watches them go. She shakes her head then turns to GRISSOM.) Catherine: What were you thinking? Grissom: (sighs) I don't know. I wanted to observe them, I guess. Catherine: That woman hasn't seen her daughter in 21 years. You actually thought a glass wall would keep them apart? Grissom: I never thought about that. Catherine: I know. You're not good with people. Grissom: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - PARKING LOT -- DAY] (SARA walks up to WARRICK.) Sara: Interesting voice mail you left me. Warrick: What's that? Sara: "Meet me behind CSI and bring a cotton nightgown." I'd wear it for you but, uh, I prefer pajamas. Warrick: Really? It was actually for my girlfriend here - (WARRICK uncovers the cloth around a pig.) Warrick: Miss Piggy. (SARA grimaces and takes a step backward.) Sara: We're experimenting on a pig again? Warrick: Yeah. (WARRICK puts the pig in the rocking chair similar to the one at the WINSTON'S house.) Sara: (swallows) You know, I-I-I haven't eaten meat since Grissom used one to estimate postmortem insect growth. Warrick: Well, I tried for human volunteers, but no takers. Sara: What are you going to do, exactly? (WARRICK takes the cotton nightgown from SARA and starts dressing the pig.) Warrick: What are we going to do? We're disproving the existence of spontaneous human combustion. Sara: (smiles) You do not give up. Warrick: Well, we're recreating the death of Nadine Winston, right? She was wearing a cotton nightgown -- thank you -- and she had a half a pack of smokes on her end table, which means she was probably smoking a cigarette. Sara: If she burned herself with the cigarette, she would've woken up, not burned up. Warrick: Best part: Toxicology sample came back. Nadine had a high concentration of seconal in her blood. Sara: Sleeping pills. Warrick: Enough to knock out a horse. (WARRICK finishes dressing the pig.) Warrick: All right. (He takes out a cigarette and sticks it in his mouth and starts patting himself looking for matches.) Sara: Care for a light? (SARA takes out a lighter from her jacket pocket and lights WARRICK'S cigarette.) (WARRICK makes sure that the cigarette it lit, then places it on the edge of Miss Piggy's cotton nightdress.) Sara: Now what? Warrick: We wait. (The cigarette starts to burn the nightdress.) Cue Sound: (PRELAP) DOOR BUZZER [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. FELTON RESIDENCE - LATE DAY] (MELISSA/TAMMY opens the door to CATHERINE, NICK and GRISSOM.) Catherine: Hi, Tammy. We just, uh, want to look around. (NICK takes out the warrant from his pocket.) Nick: We have a warrant. (MELISSA/TAMMY opens the front door. Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: A warrant for what? Grissom: Any evidence relating to the murder of your father. Catherine: Tammy, could you step outside? This officer will keep you company. (MELISSA/TAMMY steps outside the house.) Catherine: Thanks. (CATHERINE walks into the house.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FELTON RESIDENCE - DAY -- CONTINUOUS (GRISSOM and CATHERINE look through the clothing. NICK walks into the room. He stops in front of them and clears his throat to get their attention.) Grissom: What? Nick: I should get a finder's fee. (NICK holds up a pair of gloves. GRISSOM stares at them and stands up.) Nick: (laughs) Here. One for each of you. (NICK ands them each a glove. GRISSOM looks at it under the magnifying glass. CATHERINE does the same.) Catherine: Yellow paint. Grissom: Shall we test for uranium? Nick: I need a darkroom. (CATHERINE hands the glove to NICK. GRISSOM clears a spot off of the table. CATHERINE takes off her jacket and hands it to GRISSOM.) Nick: Now, if uranium is present the photons should react with the film. (NICK takes out the unexposed film and holds it with the glove under the jacket.) Nick: Okay, I'm exposing it ... (Under the jacket, he exposes the film to the glove. He takes out the film and waits for it to develop.) (Fast motion time development to: The film shows the yellow flecks.) Catherine: Well, that's affirmative for uranium. (NICK nods as he hands the photo to GRISSOM.) Grissom: Nicely done, Nick. Nick: Thanks. (GRISSOM cuts open the gloves at the seams into two flat hand-shaped halves.) (CATHERINE walks back into the room with MELISSA/TAMMY and the OFFICER.) Grissom: Miss, have you ever worn these gloves? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: No. They belonged to my mother. Grissom: Really? Well, we'll see. (GRISSOM dusts the inside of the gloves.) Catherine: Tammy, I need your right index finger. (MELISSA/TAMMY watches GRISSOM and holds out her finger for CATHERINE to print. CATHERINE takes the print, then sits down on the couch next to GRISSOM waiting for him to lift the print from the glove.) (GRISSOM tape lifts the print off of the gloves then compares it to TAMMY'S print. He goes from print to print.) Grissom: (looks up) It's a perfect match. (Quick flashback to: At the back of The Cracked Kiln, TAMMY and JOE FELTON both enter the pottery store.) (Cut to: JOE cracks the safe.) Grissom: (V.O.) Joe lanced the safe. (Cut to: JOE takes out the cash box from the safe and moves to the side to get the money. TAMMY looks around and sees the gnome figurine on the counter. She hits JOE on the back of the head.) Grissom: (V.O.) Once the safe was cracked you seized the moment and bashed his head in -- three blows. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (MELISSA/TAMMY doesn't say anything.) Grissom: Nick, call Brass. Tell him it's time to make an arrest. Nick: Done. (NICK stands up and leaves the room.) Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: You're making a mistake. I didn't kill my father. We weren't alone. Grissom: I'm sorry, but there's no evidence to indicate that there was a third person present at the crime scene. Catherine: Who else was there? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: I tried to stop her, I swear. Catherine: Tammy ... (CATHERINE stands up.) Catherine: Who was with you? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Melissa Marlowe. But that bitch wouldn't listen. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - OBSERVATION ROOM] (DR. PHILLIP KANE explains the condition to GRISSOM, CATHERINE and BRASS while MELISSA/TAMMY sits in the interview room beyond the mirror.) Brass: So we're looking at a split personality? Dr. Phillip Kane: Quite possible. Two personalities in one. Brass: Is there any scientific evidence that supports this disorder? Grissom: Brain scans have documented changes in the hippocampus of individuals shifting from one personality to another. But would these two personalities be aware of each other? Dr. Phillip Kane: Well, usually the dominant personality is aware of everything. The subjugated personality is only aware of itself. Grissom: Tammy's the dominant personality. Catherine: But Melissa killed Joseph Felton -- Tammy's father. Grissom: Who was also Melissa's kidnapper. Brass: Revenge for a kidnapping 21 years after the fact? Dr. Phillip Kane: Well, it is possible. It may have taken that long for the subjugated personality to break free. Brass: Maybe, uh, Miss Mirror-has-two-faces is playing us for fools. We corner her with the evidence, she goes nuts sets the groundwork for an insanity plea. Catherine: Forensic psychology is a science. Grissom: We have to stay open to all the possibilities. (There's a light knocking on the door and an OFFICER walks in.) Uniform Officer: Captain? Brass: Yeah? Uniform Officer: The girl's parents are here with her attorney. Brass: Well, this ought to be interesting. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (MRS. MARLOWE sits across from MELISSA/TAMMY.) Mrs. Marlowe: Melissa ... (MELISSA/TAMMY looks up.) Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Lady, I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are. I'm not Melissa; I'm Tammy. Tammy Felton. Randy Painter: Tammy, my name is Randy Painter. I'm a defense attorney. The Marlowes have hired me to defend you. Tammy Felton: (nods) I didn't kill my father. Hank Marlowe: Melissa, I don't know what you've been told but you're our daughter. You were taken from us. We've spent the last 21 years looking for you. (MELISSA/TAMMY shakes her head.) Tammy Felton: My father was Joseph, my mother was Mara and they're both dead. Randy Painter: Bail's been set at half a million dollars. (MELISSA/TAMMY looks at RANDY PAINTER and shakes her head in disbelief. MRS. MARLOWE reaches out and covers MELISSA'S hand with her own. MELISSA pulls her hand away.) (She looks up and stares at the locket around MRS. MARLOWE'S neck. She notices MELISSA looking at it.) Mrs. Marlowe: You looking at my necklace? Your father bought this for me when you were born and you used to play with it. (MELISSA looks as if she might be remembering it.) Mrs. Marlowe: We're not going to let you go to jail. Right? Right, Hank? Hank Marlowe: Raising even ten percent won't be easy. (MRS. MARLOWE starts crying.) Mrs. Marlowe: Hank, she's not spending another night away from us. Whatever it takes. Hank Marlowe: When are we due in court? Randy Painter: The prelim's tomorrow morning, 9:00 A.M. Hank Marlowe: Then I'd better hurry with bail. [OBSERVATION ROOM] (GRISSOM and CATHERINE watch as MRS. MARLOWE tries to reach out her hand to MELISSA from across the table, only to pull it back.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (SARA and WARRICK play chess next to the smoking chair. WARRICK takes a sip from his mug while SARA makes her move.) (GRISSOM walks up to them.) Grissom: I just got back to the lab, saw the smoke. What's up? Sara: We're just working the case. Warrick: Yeah, we're disproving spontaneous human combustion. We dressed the pig up in a cotton dress and torched it with a cigarette. Grissom: And what happened? Warrick: The pig's been reduced to ash. The fat acted like candle wax; burned hot, slow and intense. (GRISSOM looks down at the chess board and makes the next move. WARRICK slows down his explanation when he notices that GRISSOM'S not that interested in it.) Warrick: Nothing spontaneous about it. Grissom: You both knew that there'd be a scientific explanation for the human torch though, right? (SARA doesn't say anything and looks down at the board. WARRICK quickly covers.) Warrick: Of course. (SARA looks at WARRICK who glances over at her also. GRISSOM pipes up.) Grissom: Did you find the wick? (GRISSOM doesn't say anything and walks around SARA toward the chair.) Sara: The wick? Warrick: The what? Grissom: A piece of fabric that's scorched but not completely burned ... like possibly from the nightgown. (GRISSOM picks up a piece of unburned fabric stuck in the chair.) Sara: We found the same thing at the crime scene. Grissom: It's called the wick effect. It's like an inside-out candle. The fabric acts like a wick, and the body burns inward explaining the high temperatures which destroy the bone. The fabric ends up scorched, but not completely burned. Sara: You knew about the ashes? Why didn't you say something when you gave us the case? Grissom: Well, in science we learn through experimentation, right? Sometimes we need to see it to believe it. You guys did a nice job. Now you have to clean it up. (GRISSOM puts the piece of cloth down and walks away. SARA moves to stand in front of WARRICK.) Sara: Well, I would've looked like an idiot. Thanks for covering. Warrick: Well, you can show your appreciation by, uh, cleaning up. (She scrunches her face, then smiles.) Sara: Done. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - JAIL -- NIGHT] (The doors slide open and CATHERINE walks in. She walks up to the cell and looks at MELISSA/TAMMY.) Catherine: Thank you. I got a call that Melissa wanted to see me. Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Thanks for coming. Catherine: Am I speaking to Melissa ... or Tammy? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Melissa. I know who I am now ... after spending time with my real parents. Catherine: (shakes her head) I'm not an attorney. There are no privileges here. Whatever you say ... Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: (interrupts) What are my chances ... in court? Catherine: The evidence is damaging. (She stands up and walks up to the bars to look at CATHERINE.) Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: If I plead insanity ... ? Catherine: You have a lawyer. Why are you asking me? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: You wanted to help me. When I I.D.'d Joe, you were kind. I need you to testify that I was not sane at the time that I killed Joe. My lawyer says that would go a really long way with a jury. Catherine: (shakes her head) I'm not an expert. Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: But it doesn't matter. You spent time with me. You could answer questions the right way. I can't explain what happened in that room today but it's like ... the only memories I have are of being a little kid. The last 21 years are blank -- like they never happened. Catherine: Then you shouldn't have any memories of me ... Tammy. (The game's up.) Catherine: There is no Melissa, is there? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: (hard) Get the hell out of here. Catherine: I'm gone. (CATHERINE turns to leave.) Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: (little girl voice) Don't go! (CATHERINE stops and turns to look at MELISSA/TAMMY.) Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: (little girl voice) Don't leave me here with her. (CATHERINE does say anything.) Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: (normal voice) Just practicing for court. Not bad, huh? (CATHERINE turns.) Catherine: Guard. (She leaves the jail area.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (CATHERINE walks into the hallway and into GRISSOM'S office.) Catherine: Hey, come on. We're going to be late for the prelim. (GRISSOM is sitting at his desk.) Grissom: Tammy Felton's prelim has been postponed indefinitely. Catherine: What? Why? Grissom: She left town. Skipped bail. Catherine: (realizes) How much did the parents lose? Grissom: Their house and their life savings. (CATHERINE sighs.) Grissom: It's over. Case closed. We move on. (GRISSOM takes off his glasses.) Catherine: Right. (CATHERINE'S not about to give up on this. She turns and heads out the office door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE walks down the hallway. She's on the phone with BRASS.) Catherine: Brass, it's Catherine. I need a credit card purchase report on the Marlowes. The last 24 hours. Based on what? Based on the fact that the Marlowes are blind when it comes to their daughter and would do anything for her. (CATHERINE walks out of camera frame.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MARLOWE RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM -- DAY] (CATHERINE and BRASS question the MARLOWES.) Hank Marlowe: We have no idea where she is. Catherine: Look, you're here, she's not and we know that you helped her flee the jurisdiction. Mrs. Marlowe: What? Brass: 22 bus tickets bought with your credit card to 22 different states? You made sure that we couldn't track her. Now, that's aiding and abetting the flight of a suspected felon. Catherine: Wherever you think she is -- wherever you're planning on meeting her -- she's not there. She played you. Now, if you'll just tell us where she is, we won't file charges, right? Brass: Well, if she's apprehended, yes. Otherwise it's a felony. You're going to jail. (MRS. MARLOWE stands up. HANK MARLOWE stands up also.) Mrs. Marlowe: Arrest us. Catherine: Think about what you're doing. Hank Marlowe: We know exactly what we're doing. Mrs. Marlowe: Melissa's free. That's all that matters. (CATHERINE sighs. BRASS calls over the OFFICERS standing on the side.) Brass: Frankie? (The OFFICERS move forward. BRASS reads the MARLOWES their rights.) Brass: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS HIGHWAY - BUS STOP -- DAY] (The ALL LAND TRAILS bus pulls over to the side of the road. A single figure disembarks. The bus leaves.) (MELISSA MARLOWE/TAMMY FELTON stands there and waits. She takes off her kerchief and fluffs up her hair. She removes her jacket as she waits for the car to stop.) (DARIN HANSON gets out of the car and closes the door.) Darin Hanson: Am I late? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Oh, you're worth waiting for. (DARIN HANSON opens the door for her.) Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: You owe me one, Darin. Darin Hanson: Owe you? I'm the one that told you the truth about your father. Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: And you knew exactly what I'd do about it. (MELISSA MARLOWE/TAMMY FELTON gets into the car (license #RLH 320). He closes the door for her. She pulls down the visor mirror and looks at herself while DARIN HANSON drives off.) Darin Hanson: Where to? Melissa Marlowe/Tammy Felton: Does it matter? Darin Hanson: Not in the least.	Plan: A: a pottery store; Q: Where was a body found? A: a robbery; Q: What was interrupted in the pottery store? A: Fingerprints; Q: What evidence at the scene of the robbery match a twenty year old kidnapping case? A: Sara; Q: Who believes the woman was burned to death in her home? A: Warrick; Q: Who is Sara's partner in investigating a case? A: an ash; Q: What was the woman burned to? A: only the chair; Q: What was burned in the house? A: the rest; Q: What part of the house was not burned? A: spontaneous combustion; Q: What does Sara believe the cause of the woman's death was? Summary: A body is found in a pottery store in what's apparently a robbery that was interrupted. Fingerprints at the scene seem to match a twenty year old kidnapping case. Sara and Warrick look into a case where a woman burned to death in her home. The woman was burned to an ash but only the chair she was in was burned, the rest of the house is fine. Sara believes they have a case of spontaneous combustion.
(Door opens) (Door closes) Lina: Hey. Working late again? Russ: Uh, yeah. Lina: It's kind of really late. Russ: Yup, I was, uh... just working on some of my own stuff. Lina: Hmm. Russ: Yeah. Lina: Cool. Russ: Mm-hmm. Um, how are you, how are the girls? Lina: I spent my evening pulling sh1t out of a dog's ass. Russ: Oh, for fun? Russ: Or... Lina: His a*l glands were compacted. How was your day? Russ: Like pulling sh1t out of a dog's ass. Ella: Your wife is rude. Russ: Tell me about it. You know, she wasn't always this rude. Like, before you were born, she was actually kind of cool. Ella: What happened? Russ: We broke her. And now we are all paying for it. Ella: She's refusing to get me a Halloween costume. Russ: Really? Ella: Really. Russ: That is rude. Lina: Are you freaking kidding me? That's what she said, that I refused? Russ: Yes. Lina: First she wants to be a bee, then she wants to be a hippie, now she wants to be a pirate. How many costumes am I supposed to buy? Russ: So just buy her the pirate costume. Lina: You buy her the pirate costume. Russ: I can't, I have AJ's thing tomorrow. Lina: I have lunch with Eva. Russ: Eva's in town? Lina: Really? Russ: What? Lina: I told you, like, 17 times last week that my best friend was coming to town for a week and that she has one window that she can see me for lunch and it's tomorrow and I'm gonna drive half the day to do it. Russ: So, uh, what do you want to do about the pirate costume? Lina: If I buy it, she won't appreciate it. Lina: I should get it for her. Russ: Oh, get it, don't get it... I don't care. Sorry. (Door closes) Yeah, yeah, I got AJ into this very cool facility. Shepard: Very good. Russ: 'Cause that guy Russ: could use a vacation. Shepard: Yeah. Russ: Couldn't we all? Hi. Jess: Hi. Mwah. Uh, you forgot to buy toilet paper again. Shepard: (Soft chuckle) Well, then you forgot to remind me again. Jess: Okay, well, maybe that's because one of us has a job and the other one doesn't. Shepard: Okay, you know, I love when you emasculate me in front of company. Jess: Okay. Shepard: Do some more, Shepard: do some more. Jess: No, I'm sorry for you, I really am. One minute. Shepard: Hmm. Russ: Good times. Shepard: You have any idea what time you'll be back? Jess: No. Jess: I have work drinks tonight. Shepard: Okay, you got work drinks. I got you, you got work drinks. She has drinks every night and then I end up eating supper alone with the nanny. Russ: Does Victoria speak English or...? Shepard: You know what, I'm not really sure. She seems to smile and she laughs on cue. 'Cause, really, what more do I need? Russ: Oh, sounds fun. sh1t. Hey. AJ: Bagels, anyone? Jess: Oh, man. Russ: You don't look packed. AJ: Come on, come inside. (Russ sighs) My assistant's coming by later. She's on it. Jess: No, not later. No, no, no, we don't have all day to do this. Russ: Yeah, dude, come on. We took off work for this. AJ: Oh, man, you think they got bagels in the big house? Russ: You're not going to jail. Jess (Chuckling): Jesus. AJ: Oh, jail, rehab. Same sh1t. Russ: Look, I know this is hard, okay? But you got to get your suitcase, all right? We got to go. AJ: How about I go tomorrow, and the three of us just kick it today? I have all these drugs... huh? We should go through them so they're not here when I get back. I don't need that temptation, you know? Russ: We got to get this moving here, okay, so can you go get packed? Please? AJ: You're a buzzkill. Fine. (Phone rings) Russ: Hey. Lina: How's it going? Russ: I'm helping a grown man pack. Lina: I help you pack all the time. Russ: That must be why you hate me. Lina: I hate you? Lately it seems like you hate me. Russ: What? I don't... that's crazy. Lina: Anyway, look, I think I want to get Ella the pirate costume. Russ: I thought you said she won't appreciate it. Lina: She won't, but she's almost 12, and I feel like this is the last Halloween she'll trick-or-treat with the family. Russ: Right, okay. Lina: Can you do it, because by the time I get over the hill I won't have time. Russ: I... Sure. Sure. Lina: I have to go, Eva's here. Later Russ: Okay, bye. (Lina laughs) Eva: Oh, my gosh. Lina: How are you? Eva: It's good to see you. Lina: You, too. Eva: How's things, how's everything with Russ? Lina: Well, they've been better. Russ: So, what kind of work drinks do you have tonight? (Jess laughs) So full of sh1t. Jess: I don't have work drink. (Fake chuckle) It's a Halloween party in the hills. Russ: (Laughs) Yeah, he said you've been going out a lot lately. Jess: I'm not doing anything shady, I'm just going out and having fun and dancing. Shep falls asleep every night at 9:00 p.m. in front of the TV. Oh, you never go out? You're so good, right, you're perfect? Russ: No. Jess: God, let me get a closer look at you; you are perfect. Russ: I did not say that. I'm in the same exact boat. Some nights I go out with the kids from the, uh, store. You know, we go to the bar and I tell Lina that I'm working on my designs. And the truth is I haven't worked on any of my own sh1t in months. Jess: Sometimes you need to lie. Russ: Yeah. What is taking him so long? Seriously. He said he'd be right out. Jess: He lied. Russ: AJ, let's go. (Heavy scraping) (Knocking) AJ. Jess: Hello? (Groans) Russ: Oh, son of a bitch. AJ! Hey, come on! What are you doing?! Jess: We have a runner. Russ: Come on! I don't need this sh1t. Russ: (Groans) This is so annoying. I can't believe he just did this. Jess: You know what, though, he's not gonna get very far without the keys. Russ: That is true. Jess: Yeah. That was very well done on your part. Jess: Yeah. You know, it's actually this trick that I used to do, like, with all of the addicts that I've dated. Russ: You did date a lot of addicts. Jess: Yeah, it's kind of my type. Russ: I can't believe you ended up with Shep. He's so straight. Jess: Yeah, well, I needed someone to take the wheel. Which is exactly why you and I could never be together. 8Russ: Yeah, we're looking for our friend to take him to rehab while we smoke a joint. Jess: That's a bad... (Chuckles) that's a bad couple. Russ: That is a bad couple. Jess: Or such a cool couple. Russ: Is that him? That's him right there. Pull over. Pull over right here. AJ: I just wanted to say good-bye to my favorite barista. Jess: Yeah. No, he's really gonna miss you. AJ: I tip really well. He is really gonna miss me. Russ: Just get in the car. AJ: Let my guy make you a mocha. Jess: No. Russ: Just get in the car. AJ: Let my guy make you a mocha, Come on. Jess: Nobody wants a mocha. AJ: Fine. Fine. Jess: Nobody wants a mocha. AJ: Fine. It's your loss. He makes the best mocha. Jess: Okay. Lina: We're not connecting anymore, you know? And by the end of the day, when we finally all... Eva: Oh, my God. like... Lina, I am so sorry. I just have to have a quick cup of coffee with Parker here. Look, it'll just... it'll... it'll take a couple minutes. Lina: Oh. Parker: Sorry to interrupt. Lina: Okay... Sure. Do you want me to move? [SCENE_BREAK] AJ: What the hell is this? Am I rehabbing at a Dollar Store? Russ: No, I just got to do some shopping. I got to get Ella a pirate costume. AJ: Guys, maybe rehab isn't the answer for me. Russ: Dude. Jess: You're going to rehab. AJ: Do I have a private room? Russ: Yes. AJ: Do I have a private bathroom? Russ: Yes. AJ: I wonder if I get a bidet 'cause I like to be clean. Jess: (Groans) No. All right, well, what size pirate is she? Russ: Uh, I don't have any idea. She's almost 12, so... Jess: She is? Russ: Yeah. Jess: God. Russ: I know. I think this is the last year that she's gonna trick-or-treat with us. Jess: Oh. Did she have her period yet? Russ: No, don't, okay? I don't know. The doctor said it could be any minute. Jess: Ooh, you're gonna get those boobs and pubes in your house. Russ: Stop it, okay? I can't even get my head around that. Jess: Here we go. Look. You're done. Pirate. Russ: What is that? Jess: And you're welcome. It's a pirate costume. Russ: No, it's a sexy pirate. AJ: It's a slutty pirate. Russ: I just said she's 12. That's way too much, Jess. AJ: That's a dirty, dirty pirate. Jess: I'm sorry, but this is L.A. This is what kids wear. AJ: A pirate that dresses like that has daddy issues. Russ: Yeah. Why are there no classy pirate costumes here? She's just gonna have to be the bee or the hippie, I guess. AJ: I just had a thought. What if Caitlin grows up to be a slutty pirate? What if I'm one of these whore-making dads? Russ: No. You're... You're a good dad, okay? She's gonna be fine. AJ: Right. That's why I got to stay home and I got to take care of my kid, 'cause I'm a good dad. Jess: No. Russ: No, that's not what I said. You're gonna go to rehab so that you can become a better dad. AJ: Right. A better dad. Jess: Yeah. AJ: Rehab. We just got to make a quick stop at my office first, though. (Jess groans) Russ: What? All right. You get five minutes, all right? That's it. I'm serious. AJ: All right, all right. Relax, Dad. I just have to go upstairs and say good-bye to my work family and pick up some socks. (Tapping) AJ: Hey, Gillian. Gillian: Hi. (Pills rattling) AJ: Ah, they sound comfy. Gillian: Just like you ordered. AJ: Yeah. Gillian: The guy I got them from said not to wear the socks on an empty stomach. AJ: Hey, got to always listen to the sock man, right? Gillian: Just be careful. AJ: Hey, uh, where is everybody? Richard and Abby are... They're not in their offices. Gillian: Um, they are in the partner meeting. AJ: Partner meeting? Gillian: Mm-hmm. AJ: But I'm one of the partners. Gillian: I know. It's just... AJ: So how can they have a partner meeting without me, if I'm one of the partners? That doesn't make any sense. Gillian: Well, you weren't coming in today. AJ: So I'm not one of the partners anymore, huh? Gillian: No, of course you are. AJ: Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. No, you're right! You're right! I'm a founding partner! (Whistling) Gillian: You know, I really don't think this is such a good idea. Why don't we just go to lunch or something. AJ? Good luck. AJ: Hey, guys. How's it going? Hey, uh, I got a little something I want to say to you. (Muffled): Are you insane?! Are you out of your minds?! This... mine, mine, this is all mine! I started this company! (Speaking indistinctly) ...on your skulls after I remove your brains! (Eva speaking indistinctly) Lina: Um, you know what, I think, uh... I think I'm gonna get going. I'll just see you next time you're in town. Eva: Lina, just hang on one s... (Phone ringing) Uh, I have to get this. Lina: Sure. Eva: Can you just hang on one second? Lina: No, it's fine, it's fine. It was nice to meet you. Good luck with your, um, important meeting. Eva: (Sighs) Hey. I am so sorry. Look, I'm only in town for a couple days and I overbooked. Are you okay? Lina: (Sniffles) No. Eva: Should we go get a drink? Lina: I just gave the guy my ticket. Eva: I'll take care of it. Come on. Gillian: Everything's fine. I shouldn't have called you guys, uh... I just got scared. Jess: Why, what happened? Gillian: The partners had AJ escorted out of the building. After everything that he's done for them, it's so ungrateful. Right? Russ: What did he do? Gillian: Nobody got hurt. AJ got a tiny bit violent. Jess: Uh-huh. Gillian: But he wanted me to tell you guys that rehab can wait, because things are a little intense right now with the new firm. Jess: The new firm? Gillian: We're starting a new firm. I mean, AJ is, but I'm helping him. Jess: Oh, I'm sure you are, sweetie. That's great. Gillian: N-No, you guys, now's really not a good time. Wait, you guys, um, sorry... AJ? Russ: Let's go. It's time to go. Time to go. AJ: Gillian, did you explain to them how busy I am with the new firm? Gillian: I tried. Russ: Oh, cut the crap. There is no new firm, okay? You're going to rehab like you promised. AJ: Do you have that promise in writing? Russ: In a text. AJ: Well, texts are inadmissible. You know, anybody can hack that sh1t, right? Jess: Oh, my God, you're such an asshole. We've been chasing you around all day, okay? Russ: You know what, don't worry about it. I don't care anymore. I really don't. I'm over it. Okay, you don't want to go to rehab? Don't go, okay? Who cares that I spent the week yelping different facilities, okay? Reading reviews of food and-and fitness centers. If you want to screw me over and Jess and this poor girl who's probably in love with you, go for it. AJ: Right. Come on, she's not in love with me. Gillian: But you said you wanted to be with me. AJ: Yeah. At the new firm. Gillian: But what about when we... AJ: Oh, my God, did we have sx? Gillian: Twice. AJ: Did you like it? Gillian: Once. Jess: Oh, wow. AJ: Well. I guess it's, uh... it's time for somebody to go to rehab, huh? Lina: No, I just really wanted to talk to you because I can't talk to the other moms about real stuff. Eva: Okay, well, what's going on with you and Russ? Lina: He hates his job. He comes home super late every night and I can tell that he doesn't want to be around me. I don't understand it. Eva: Do you know, sometimes when I come home at night, I am such a bitch to Karen. Lina: Okay, but why? Eva: I don't know. I mean, she's taking care of my kids, she's washing my clothes. Lina: Yeah. Eva: But sometimes I look at her and I can't stand her. Like, all the sacrifices that she's made for me, I just, I see them on her face. It makes me want to slap the sh1t out of her. Lina: Really? (Eva laughs) I can tell when I walk through the door. He looks at me like he wants me to be his cheerleader or something. Eva: You know what? He probably just wants you to put his dick in your mouth. (Laughs) Lina: I'm a terrible wife. Eva: Hey, stay in the hotel room with me tonight, come on. I have an early meeting, but you can just hang out, get a massage, charge it to the room. And then we can really hang out later. Lina: Yeah, screw it, Russ can take 'em trick-or-treating. Eva: Mm-hmm. Lina: They don't even care about me. (Eva laughs) They probably won't even notice if I'm not there. Eva: So you'll stay? Lina: Happy Halloween. Russ: Hey. Russ: What are you doing here? Lina: Hi, guys. I thought you were, uh, spending the night at Eva's. Lina: Oh, I didn't really think you could handle trick-or-treating on your own. But I was clearly wrong. Russ: Clearly. Lina: You got the pirate costume. Not bad. Ella: Hey, guys, Hannah just texted and asked if I could go trick-or-treating with them. Can I? All my friends are gonna be there. Please. Russ: Uh, sure. Ella: Really? Lina: I hope she bleeds right through that pirate costume tonight. Russ: Yeah. Let Hannah's mother find her a tampon. Lina: And show her how to use it. Maya: What's a tampon? Russ: Uh... It's kind of like a sponge... that soaks up stuff. Maya: What stuff? Frankie: Are we done talking about tampons? Lina: How are we gonna trick-or-treat when the kids are too old? Russ: We won't. Lina: Well, what will we do? Russ: We'll give out candy. Lina: We're gonna be those old people giving out candy? That's depressing. Frankie: Look what we've got! Lina: Oh, I want a butterfinger. Maya: Mom. Russ: Give your mother a butterfinger... she does a lot of sh1t for you. Now. Give it. All right, let's keep going. Come on. Russ: Get something bigger. Frankie: We will, Daddy. Russ: King size. What was that for? Lina: Standing up for me. Russ: Hmm. Well, in that case... Feeling more than just a kiss. (Lina laughs) (Horn honks) Jess: Am I too late? Shepard: Just in time. Ooh, you know what? Back in the car. Jess: What? Shepard: Just wait in the car. Some neighbors don't hate us yet. Jess: I look good. Shepard: Yes, you do.	Plan: A: Lina; Q: Who wants to meet an old friend? A: business colleagues; Q: What is interrupting Lina and her friend's time together? A: a reluctant A.J.; Q: Who does Russ and Jess try to get to go to rehab? A: a pirate costume; Q: What costume does Ella want? A: friends; Q: Who does Ella want to trick-or-treat with for the first time? Summary: Lina goes to meet an old friend who is in town, but their time together is constantly interrupted by business colleagues that the friend also booked time to see. Russ and Jess try to get a reluctant A.J. to go to rehab. Ella wants a pirate costume after rejecting two others that Lina got for her, then says she wants to trick-or-treat with friends for the first time instead of with her younger sisters.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Drew Thompson shot Theo in the eye and left him for dead on a runway in Panama. Mr. Tonin would like you to find Drew Thompson. Wynn: Not a problem. Johnny: We found Drew Thompson. Turns out he's the goddamn county sheriff. Wynn: Find shelby before anyone else does, or you can say goodbye to that dream you have of displacing your cousin. [SCENE_BREAK] Boyd: I'm about to give you Drew goddamn Thompson on a silver platter. You want your man, that's what it's gonna cost. Colton: I think your ride is here. [ Helicopter blades whirring ] Boyd: The Marshals got to Drew before Nicky could. Ava: What do we do? Boyd: We make a case to Theo. Johnny: Or...? Boyd: Or we run. Rachel: So what's next? Art: Theo Tonin knows we got Drew. He's not gonna be too happy about that. Raylan: We just got to figure out how to get out of Harlan alive. [ Helicopter blades whirring ] Art: Wouldn't happen to have a rocket launcher, would you? Sadly, no. I got Lexington air ops, chief. Art: All right. Tim, if that thing gets any closer, shoot it. Mullen here. Where the hell are you? Look at you, Mr. Crowder. You're a well-dressed man. You got a sense of style. You got your shirt buttoned all the way up to the top. I got to ask. Where'd you get all those teeth? Boyd: Courtesy of the American taxpayer while serving our great nation in Desert Storm. Man, I love the way you talk... using 40 words where 4 will do. I'm curious. What would you say if I was about to put 40 bullets through that beautiful vest of yours? Boyd: "What're you waiting for?" Oh, you're cool, huh? Boyd: I tried to keep it to four words. You'll allow the contraction as one. [ Chuckles ] Yolo. Boyd: [ Grunts ] [ Groans ] Again. Boyd: [ Gasping ] You know who also didn't deliver? Wynn Duffy. Boyd: [ Groaning ] But as you can see, he's not here. He had the sense to run and hide. But you stuck around. That's a bold move. Boyd: Well, I wagered that you'd see that success is in our mutual best interest. You believe in God? Boyd: I do not. But this is Bible country, right? You know the story of Abraham and Isaac? Boyd: I do. See, a lot of people are troubled by the fact that God asked Abraham to do such a thing. But truth be told, God of the old testament... kind of a dick. To me, the real question is Abraham. You know, why would he be willing to entertain the idea of killing his son? Boyd: Well, conventional wisdom is he was demonstrating his own faith. I think that's wrong. I think Abraham thought about killing his own son and was willing to kill his own son because God told him to do it. God. And when the most powerful being in the universe tells you to do something... You do it. Boyd: And what has your God told you to do, Mr. Augustine? Kill Drew Thompson. Boyd: I see. Well, if you want Drew Thompson, you'll need Raylan Givens. And if you want Raylan Givens, you'll need me. And if you want me... I'm still gonna need $500,000. [ Gasping ] You're so glad you didn't ask for $2 million. How long was it in the wall? Raylan: We moved here when I was 15. Rachel: The house that cocaine built. Raylan: So you kept Waldo's I.D in a bag, huh? Like a trophy... prove you're badass, pulled off the feat of the century? No, it was more practical than that. I couldn't leave it in the plane, couldn't throw it out. Someone would have found it. Raylan: So you put it in a bag and then gave that bag to Arlo? He said he'd burn it. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] Smell that? That's irony. Art: Our guys are with LPD air ops, fueling the helicopter. It'll be wheels up in 15 minutes, another 30 minutes in flight time. Raylan: We can't sit here for another hour. Art: 30 plus 15's 45. Raylan: The better part of an hour. We don't know how many men Tonin's sent. You want the battle of bloody porch? Rachel: The what? Art: "The wild bunch." Raylan: Art, we got to move, and we got to move soon. Art: KSP's not ready. [ Door opens ] Got six units headed inbound. They'll meet us over the pass. Once we get to the highway, we can have those units leapfrog, shut down the on-ramps. Go 80, 85, should make it to Lexington in two hours. Boyd: They're holed up at Raylan's daddy's home. Option one... you can hit them there. But it's in a defensible position, on a hill, good sight lines. Colton: And you'd need at least a dozen men, heavy weapons, and be okay losing half of them. Who is he, and why is he talking? Boyd: Meet colt. We served together in Desert Storm. Mm. Picker, how many men you got coming? We got Rigo and three others. They should be here soon. Boyd: Well, it won't be soon enough. Now, your man in the air said he saw a tow truck, which means the Marshals can push cars out of the way if needed, which means Raylan Givens intends on driving Drew out. They're fueling up a police helicopter in Lexington. Boyd: This is the biggest case in Raylan's career. He will not wait on an airlift. He will drive. Now, he'll want to avoid towns and civilians, which means he will take the pass. Now, your option two... really, your only option... is to hit them right there. We send all our men there? Boyd: Just one man... my man, Colt. Not alone. Colton: I could use a shooter, a good one. Colt? Mort. Mort, Colt. [ Chair scrapes ] Ava: Here we go. Boyd: At least I ain't gonna die today. [ Smooches ] ♪ On this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ God get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard ♪ ♪ fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪ [ Tires screeching ] [ Horn blares ] Art: What the hell?! What are you doing? Tim: It's not right. Art: What's not right? Tim: One abandoned car beside the road is no big deal, but two so close together? That's weird. Art: That's Kentucky. Tim: How about a third? Art: What are you thinking... IEDs? Tim: I'm not thinking confetti cannons. Art: Are you sure about this? Tim: For all I know, I'm just having a full-blown PTSD episode. Art: You get those a lot? Tim: Only when I'm handling firearms in public. What are we doing, guys? Tim: Pull up behind us, and stay off the goddamn radio. [ Cellphone vibrates ] Rachel: Lexington ground crew. Air ops just took off. Raylan: We got 30 minutes. What do you say, Drew? Want to play some checkers, watch reruns on TV? Well, I wouldn't mind changing out of this. Take a shower, maybe. Raylan: Look good for the press? I want to look good when I go. We all know this is it for me. Raylan: You ain't gonna shower. You ain't gonna change. You ain't gonna die. Rachel: We're good at what we do. Raylan: Mm-hmm. Well, then I guess maybe I'd just like to enjoy the view for a while. Raylan: We have a view? How many years you live here? Raylan: I kept my head down growing up, or else nose in a book. Rachel: You? A reader? Raylan: Hardy boys, Stephen king, whatever. There's no frigate like a book. Arlo. Did you know we met in Vietnam? Raylan: Mnh-mnh. Saigon, in front of a whorehouse on Tu Do street. He was holding a Louis L'Amour book in his hand. Raylan: Don't sound like him. I thought, "who the hell" stands in front of a whorehouse "reading a book?" I started to bust his chops. Turned out some boonie rat in his unit had slipped him LSD. He was trying to find the guy's name in the book so he could castrate the bstrd. Raylan: That sounds like him. Oh, I talked him down. Took a few hours, but, hell, I'd already been laid. We hit it off. He told me to look him up if I ever got in a jam. Raylan: That's what's on your mind in what you see as the last moments of your life? You asked me, son. Now you don't want to talk about it. Don't even want a quiet moment where you might even think about your daddy. Is that it? Is that why I can't enjoy the view? Raylan: If I thought you were doing anything other than trying to figure a way out, I'd give you some peace. [ Cellphone vibrates ] I'm done running, Raylan. Raylan: A leopard don't change its spots, Drew. [ Cellphone beeps ] What's up, Art? Art: Raylan, we've stopped down. Tim's feeling a setup. Raylan: You think you've been blown? Art: It could be. I think you should peel off right now, go to the alt. Raylan: Will do. Contact air ops. We got to move. Let's go. Come on. I have the cowboy in the follow car. Marshal driving the S.U.V. Looks like a statey in the truck. Colton: No sign of Drew? Too much tint. They could have him in a trunk. Colton: Give them a minute, see if they move. Tim: [ Sighs ] Art: Well, what do we do? We go back? Tim: Not if the car behind us is filled with high explosives. Art: And you think it is? Tim: I think so. Art: How could they pull this off? Tim: Boyd has an Iraq and Afghan veteran in his crew. Colton rhodes. Ex-M.P, drummed out for drugs. Art: And you have his number? Tim: Our paths have crossed. [ Cellphone ringing ] Colton: Yeah. Tim: Hello, Bagram. Colton: Well, hello, Deputy Dawg. Art: Speaker. Tim: Am I right in saying that you were in the sandbox before Afghanistan? Colton: I am a double winner. Is that why you called, to ask me that? Tim: Oh, why? You busy? Colton: I am in the middle of something. Tim: All right, I'll make it quick. I'm writing a book set in Iraq. There's a chapter where a convoy of military police is transporting a criminal, and lieutenant Dan... he's our main guy... he gets a bad feeling. Colton: "Forrest Gump." Tim: Huh? Colton: There's a lieutenant Dan in "Forrest Gump." Tim: Oh, sh1t. You're right. I'll change it. Lieutenant Colt. Colton: I would like a young Gérard Depardieu to play me in the movie. I'm honored. Tim: Well, you should be. He's a big guy, real badass... Or he was. He's kind of losing his grip. When we meet him, he's lost someone. He started using dope that he confiscated. Colton: Yeah, but then we find out that he's kicked again. And anyone who thinks he's in any way diminished is in for a big surprise. Tim: Yeah, but he's the kind of character might say he's kicked, but we all know he's just one broken shoelace away from saying "screw it" and picking up again. Colton: How about you have him go into a bar and pick a fight with some rangers, and he sends a couple of them to the hospital? Tim: It's not a fantasy. Anyway, he gets a bad feeling when they pass an abandoned vehicle, sees a second and a third, so he's thinking IEDs triggered by cell. You ever come across anything like that? Colton: Me, personally? No. But I did hear about this one convoy, couple of Frankensteins and a gun truck on highway 10. So, the spotter, he calls a halt between the first two cars... Thinking the Hajis will blow the second if it moves forward, and the first if it tries to go back. Tim: Well, how'd they get out of it? Colton: Yeah, they didn't. Because they were too afraid to move... They just sat there in their vehicles... Pissing and sh1tting in their helmets, too afraid to toss it out the windows on account of possible snipers. Then they ran out of food. They started eating each other till there was only one left, and he blew his brains out. Do you want to know the sad part? Tim: Oh, there's a sad part? Colton: Yeah. Because they were so afraid to move, they never found out whether or not the cars had explosives. So basically, they all died from being pussies. They don't want to move? We'll make them move. Shoot the back windows and sides, but do not shoot the drivers or the tires. Got it? Art: And now? Tim: Well, the good news is I'm not flashing back. But now they're gonna try to make us move. Art: So what do we do? Tim: Move. [ Tires screeching ] Colton: Holy sh1t. They circled the wagons. Boyd: You're sure? Well, all right, then. It's a decoy. Mm. You can't catch a break, can you? Boyd: Well, I got the convoy right. It's just that the man you're looking for ain't in it. Yeah. Right. So now we're still looking for him. So, what's your solution? Boyd: Just... let me... think. Mm-hmm. When did that helicopter get up in Lexington? 10 minutes ago. Awesome. Yolo, go to the old man's house. Boyd: He won't be there. That's a comment, not a solution. [ Door creaks ] [ Breathing heavily ] Well, if I didn't think I was in deep sh1t before, I do now. Raylan: We ain't in deep sh1t because my Alma mater's a flawed redoubt. We're in deep sh1t because of you. Derelict high school wouldn't have been my move. Raylan: The fact is, all of this, trail of dead included, is 'cause you wouldn't turn yourself in. Rachel: You want to keep arguing with this fool or figure out where the hell we're gonna post up? Hey, I ain't arguing with him. Rachel: Now he's funny. Irony's not lost on me that a high school is my last stop before prison, as they are about the same. That's why I dropped out and joined the army. Rachel: You went from high school to Vietnam? Out of the frying pan, into the fire? Except I wasn't humping through the bush, sidestepping land mines. I was flying an o-1 bird dog, having a grand, old time on the high wire. Raylan: My goodness. You've led the life of 10 men. It's a wonder you keep straight what's real and what's horse sh1t. You going at me like this 'cause I had you fooled, Raylan? Raylan: No. I am getting tired of the folksy reminiscing, though. Well, I was right under your nose riding around for two days. So, you'll be the big hero who got Drew Thompson, but you will be the butt of a couple of jokes, too. Raylan: I got my man. That's no joke. Mm, because you're such a great Marshal? That's debatable, seeing as how you got us pared down to three people against a goddamn apache raid. Raylan: Playing the part of a lawman don't mean you know sh1t about sh1t. I know desperate moves when I see them. Raylan: Is that how you want us to see you... Drew, the underdog? If you're implying that what I did to get free of the Detroit mob... Rachel: What you did to Waldo truth. Was anything more than desperation, you're wrong. Rachel: What did you do to Waldo? I mean how? Knock him over the head, dump him out the plane? Hold a gun on him, make the man jump? Or did you give him a smile and a thumbs-up as he stepped out, knowing you'd rigged his chute and he was going to his death? I took no pleasure in what I did. Hate to think of it, even to this day. Rachel: Plus, the world's a much better place without him. That how you Justified it? Frankly, yes. Rachel: That's your thing, it seems. [ Chuckles ] You do what you got to do to get what you want. Question I have is, listening to all this damn back-and-forth, what do you want? I want a shower and a change of clothes. But that ship has sailed. [ Cellphone rings, beeps ] Raylan: Hey, Bob. What can I do for you? Hey, Raylan. I'm at Arlo's. A motion detector went off. Raylan: Yeah, no, it's all right. We were just there. Hey, where are you? What's going on? You wouldn't by chance happen to be at Evarts high school, would you? Raylan: What? Well, they're having trouble with wire thieves, so they asked me to put in some motion detectors, and I got a text. Raylan: Okay. Listen. Bob, you need to get away from Arlo's. Hey, is this one of yours? Raylan: Is what one of mine? Truck come tearing ass up the driveway. Raylan: Bob, hide. Boyd: Look, I understand you're growing impatient, Mr. Augustine. But we want the same thing. I-I-I just need a little more time. Helicopter's landing at the old man's house. Boyd: That would be true if Raylan Givens was there, but Raylan Givens is not there. And you know this how? Boyd: We dug coal together. [SCENE_BREAK] They dug coal together. Mm-hmm. Why don't you call yolo? Where are you? He's at the house. No sign of Givens or Drew. What? He's got a guy there who's in some kind of a uniform. What are you, a crossing guard? I'm a town constable, duly elected by the people of Harlan county. He says he's a constable. Yeah, I-I don't know what that is, either. Well, I just checked his cellphone, and it said he called Raylan Givens five minutes ago. Wait a second. All right. If the helicopter's not landing there, where is it going to land? Johnny: There's a thousand places. Boyd: For anybody else, but not for Raylan Givens. [ Helicopter blades whirring ] Art: Are you sure that car's gonna go boom? Tim: I am. Colton: Hold up, chief. That Marshal down there was a sniper in the rangers. You take the shot that you now do not have, and give away our position, he's gonna put holes in both of us. [SCENE_BREAK] Boyd: Cousin Johnny, Ava? What is the coolest, most awesomest thing ever happened to us in high school? Johnny: Holy sh1t, you're right. Ava: The astronaut. Boyd: The astronaut. And what was he flying? Johnny: Helicopter. Boyd: A helicopter. Mr. Augustine, this astronaut came to see us in high school. He landed a helicopter right on the baseball diamond. A deputy U.S. Marshal is gonna gun up and hole out in a school? Boyd: It's in the town of Evarts. It's empty. It has been so ever since they consolidated. Now, if you will let me take your man, here... what's your name? Picker. Boyd: Picker. If you will let me take Picker, I will bring you Drew Thompson back, dead or alive. Go. Take him. [SCENE_BREAK] Hey, yolo. See if uniform boy knows anything about them being in a high school, okay? Good. They call me "yolo." You know what that means? Yolo. Uh... [ Clearing throat ] "You only... you only live once." That's true. You only live once. Yeah. And you know when I say it? When sh1t is about to get real. And guess what. Sh-shit's about to get real. Mm-hmm. Ohh! Aah! Aah! Come on. Tell me where he is. Is he in the school, huh? Oh, man. Look. Look. I don't know. I don't know who you're talking about, all right? Drew. I'm talking about Drew. All right, uh... what, the... Drew? The... the... the... The doctor on TV? [ Grunts ] Ohh! [ Crack ] Aah! Son of a bitch! Tell me where he is!! Tell me where Drew is! I won't say! I won't say. I won't say. Come on. Come on. He's... [ Stammers ] He's, uh... Come on. Tell me where he is. Like Nancy Drew? [ Chuckles ] [ Groans, gurgles ] [ Gasping ] Ohh! Okay... Aah! Aah! Okay! Okay! I won't tell you. I won't tell you. Look. I swear to God. I'm about to... I'm about to really hurt you, okay? I'm really about to hurt you... I know! If you do not tell me where he is. Okay. He's... Where is Drew? [ Stammering ] [ Gasps ] He's... he's... Drew-Bacca? Drew-Bacca. [ Groans ] [ Clatter ] [ Grunting ] [ Groans ] Where is he?! [ Groaning ] Aah! [ Crashing ] Drew-LA-LA? Come on. Just tell me where he is, huh? Come on! Tell me where Drew is. He's... Tell me, Bob! Tell me where he is! Come on! [ Both grunting ] [ Groans, chokes ] [ Coughing ] Drew... Drew... Drew mama. [ Laughing ] Drew mama. [ Sighs ] You're a funny guy. You know that? You got some balls on you. [ Gurgles ] You know what? I really like you. And because of that, I'm gonna let you have a break. Oh, God. Have a break, okay? Take a breather. Get my breath. Yeah, catch your breath. There you go. Okay? You catch your breath. [ Gasps ] sh1t, you're wearing me out. You doing okay? No! No. Okay. I didn't think so. [ Gasps, panting ] [ Stammers ] Okay. Do they have Drew at the school? [ Wheezes, coughs ] Drew... ohh! Drew... Drew-sitania? Drew-sitania. Drew-sitania. Drew-sitania. I-I don't even know what that means. [ Groaning ] [ Crack ] Oh, sh1t. I think I broke him. Come on, little guy. Get up. Aah! [ Shouting ] [ Growling ] [ Both shouting ] [ Gunshot ] Raylan: Bob. Ray-Raylan. [ Cellphone rings ] Raylan: It's all right. [ Cellphone beeps ] Yeah. Art: Well, did he say anything? Raylan: You tell him we're at the school? No. Raylan: No. [ Helicopter blades whirring ] Art: Well, I just saw their helo fly off in your direction. You need to get the hell out of there. Raylan: Got it. Bob. Listen to me. We got to move. You able to walk? Yeah. Why don't you carry me? How about you carry me? [ Train whistle blows ] Okay. Raylan: "Drew-Bacca," huh? Yeah, it just came right out. [ Train whistle blowing ] It's 5:30. You can tell what time it is in Harlan without looking at your watch. That's the 5:30 coal train. Rachel: 15 minutes until the helo gets here. Well, then, by 6:00, I'll either be in the air or... In heaven, if that's the direction I'm headed, which I doubt. Rachel: You'll be in the air. Raylan: [ Whistles ] Rachel: We're good! [ Helicopter blades whirring ] Raylan: We have a problem. Rachel: My God. What happened? Raylan: What happened is Bob's a tough son of a bitch. Get up. Here. Rachel: It's too soon to be ours. Raylan: And that's the problem. We don't know how many they have or what they might do. They could crash a car through the front doors, send men through the windows. We could spread out, put one of us at each corner, but there's four corners, only three of us. You could have four. I want you to know I can be the man I became, not just the man I was. Raylan: What are you thinking? Thinking we get up to the roof, take cover, pick off any dare approach. Raylan: You best with a rifle or a shotgun? Whatever you care to part with. Raylan: See, Rachel? There it is. That's his angle. Listen, shelby, Drew, whoever you are. There's something you need to understand. You are a criminal. You understand? You're on that side. Rachel, Bob, and I, we're on this side. Now, I like arguing with you, but I ain't handing you a goddamn gun. Rachel: What about Art and Tim? Raylan: They're still stopped. Art: Tim, we need to go back up Raylan. Are you sure that thing's gonna blow? Tim: I am. [ Liquid pouring ] Art: We need to get on it. Tim: That's what I'm doing. Art: Molotov cocktail, huh? I haven't seen one of those since that guns n' roses concert in 1989. sh1t. What the hell we gonna do now? Raylan: Now I'm gonna go have a word. A word? Raylan: Try to convince them they can't win. You got your gun? I... I got... yeah. Raylan: Take Yoda's. Yolo's. Raylan: Whatever. You got 12 in the clip, one in the throat. I'm a law-enforcement professional. I'm familiar. Raylan: Bob, don't shoot unless you have to. What constitutes "have to"? Raylan: You see you're gonna die if you don't, pull the trigger. Stay frosty. [ Weakly ] Stay frosty. [ Coughs ] [ Footsteps ] Raylan: Is that you, Boyd? Boyd: For the record, that makes me two for two. For the record, it doesn't matter. Raylan: Who's your friend? Boyd: His name's Picker. Raylan: Hmm. Boyd: I didn't ask to think if he played guitar. You Givens? Raylan: Mm-hmm. You know why we're here, right? Raylan: Yeah. Boyd, what was the name of that astronaut? Boyd: You know, I don't recall. Raylan: He was a big deal. Went up to the moon. Boyd: He swung the golf club, Raylan. Raylan: He drove the car. Boyd: Raylan, I was the one enamored with space flight. I'm pretty sure I'm right on this one. Raylan: He drove the car. I'll bet a dollar. Boyd: Well, I don't have it on me now, Raylan, but... Oh, for Christ's sake. Boyd: Right. Jesus. Boyd: Raylan, you know I like a good conversation as much as anybody, but... Raylan: But, uh, being as matters are pressing? Boyd: Why don't you just hand over Drew Thompson to these... Well, I won't say nice, but... People, and save you and me a whole lot of trouble? Your buddy's right. Raylan: Mm. I don't give a rat's ass about you. Just Thompson. Raylan: Well, first off, I ain't handing over anyone, or, generally speaking, doing anything either of you say. And secondly, and perhaps more important, you two come any further, you're gonna have a bad afternoon. Now we're having fun. Boyd: Raylan, just listen to reason. Raylan: It's just the two of you? Why don't you come back when you got a few more guys. Meantime, I'll be upstairs. You want to continue this conversation, I won't be too tough to find. He wants butch and Sundance, he'll get it. Boyd: He's usually a little more fair-minded. Not today. Boyd: As long as you're inviting people, make it a party. Raylan: It's okay. It's me, Bob. [ Sighs ] Wh-what happened? Raylan: They're calling for backup. Then? Raylan: Then they're coming in. But you... you got it handled, right? Raylan: I figure I bought us maybe five minutes. All right, well, then, I-I-I ought to say this. Raylan: Don't. Okay. Tim: Four cars, and not one goddamn cigarette lighter that isn't being used to charge a goddamn cellphone, and none of you smoke. Art: Nobody smokes? This is Kentucky, not Sausalito. What's wrong with you people? [ Electricity crackles] Well, damn! Tim: I thought you were gonna throw it! Art: God damn! [ Glass shatters ] Well? I think if there had been explosives, it would have been bigger than tha... [ Grunts ] Holy sh1t. Let's go! Colton: Let's go. Wait. Holy sh1t. What? Colton: I was wrong. Drew's there. Where? Colton: Look between the S.U.V. And the Marshal's car. I don't see anything. Colton: He's right there! It's not him. Colton: Oh, for Christ's sake! Give me that. Oh, you're right. That's not him. [ Gunshot ] Ava: Can I get you anything, Mr. Augustine? I'm gonna have a smoke. I haven't indulged in I don't know when. [ Inhales deeply ] But circumstances being what they are, I figure what the hell? Hmm. Hmm. All the bad habits I tried to quit, smoking was the hardest, as you can see. Did you know that for every 10 years you smoke, your face will age 14 years? I read that on the Internet. If nobody minds, I would like to have a drink with this. One hand full makes the other one feel so lonely. Why are you talking? Huh? Oh, you don't like that question? Let me ask you another. How many dicks you got to suck to get to the top of the food chain around here? It's got to be a ton of dicks. It's got to be, like, morning, noon, and night. Like, ever since you were 14. It's got to be like, the alarm goes off, "I'm sucking dick." "Where's another dick I can" "suck?" Dick, dick, dick. Go to bed, suck a dick. Dicks, dicks, dicks. It's got to be a ton. I mean, a small-time, blond girl like you, looking for a better life? Plenty of girls like you, but what sets you apart? Extraordinary vacuuming skills. It's got to be, right? Is that why they let you run the whorehouse? Because you train the girls in your off hours? [ Muffled ] Just like, "okay", "girls." Ava: I'm a businesswoman, Mr. Augustine. Oh. In that you attach yourself to whatever guy gets you what you want? Please just answer my question. How many tweaker dick heads did you have to suck off before you got to this wonderful place in your life? Ava: You know what? I feel like a Brandy. Kind of drink I imagine you folks up north enjoy. Hell, I might acquire a taste for it. You know, your Boyd, there, he's got a real heart of a champion. He is willing to do whatever it takes to get what it is that he wants. But what about you? What are you willing to do? What are you willing to take? Johnny: All right. Enough. Or give? You really love Boyd, don't you? That ring he got you, where'd he get it from... one of those claw machines at Denny's? He must be good at that machine, 'cause it's hard to get something, you know. It's always lifting up, then it drops. Come on. Show me your tits. I want to see them. I want to see what got you to the top... Johnny: All right, enough, God damn it! [ Laughing ] Oh, really, Johnny? Oh, we're gonna put on a show? Johnny: Just stop talking. Ooh. Wait. You're... you're serious? I thought you were... Playing a... Oops. sh1t. Ava: What's going on? Johnny: Ava, d-don't listen to a word this man says. Oh, me and my mouth. [ Clicks tongue ] Somebody say something! Ava: What'd you do? This is heartbreaking. Don't tell her, Johnny. He went to Duffy! He made his play, a while ago. 'Cause guys don't have to really suck dicks to get what they want. They just need to betray someone. Ava: Is what you're saying is that you want a blowjob? I always want a blowjob. Ava: Hmm. That... Maybe I hitched myself to the wrong man? Clearly. Ava: [ Chuckles ] That you're the one to take me to the promised land. Time will tell. Johnny: Ava. [ Gun cocks ] Ava, don't. Ava: What are you gonna do, Johnny? Gonna finish what you started? You gonna shoot me? Johnny: Try to understand. Ava: Oh, you... [ Chuckles ] Don't explain. Just shoot! What? Can't you? Johnny: Ava... I-I love you. Ava: Oh, that's sweet. [ Door closes ] Wow. Okay. I see what you like about her. Okay, pal. Open it. Boyd: Raylan Givens, are you in there? [ Sighs ] Boyd: The principal's office, huh? Raylan: I thought the metaphor was apt. Boyd: [ Laughs ] Well, they got a chair in there with my name on it? You think they would, as many times as I walked in that room. Raylan: You're welcome to come in and look for it. Boyd: [ Chuckles ] Go on. Boyd: Well, I think what he means by "come on in" is he will shoot whoever walks through that door. I know. Go on. Boyd: Raylan, old friend? I don't know if you can tell from in there, but, uh... We got a whole lot of men on the other side of this door, like you asked. Raylan: Splendid. Boyd: I don't think you understand, Raylan. It's all on the line. Raylan: Meaning they want you to come through first? You got 10 seconds. [SCENE_BREAK] Boyd: Raylan? [SCENE_BREAK] Raylan: Any last words? Boyd: Raylan! Something ain't right. This ain't like him. [SCENE_BREAK] Boyd: Wait a second. Thompson's not in there. I'm telling you. One! Raylan: Hold your fire. He is right. Drew's not here. Hasn't been here for some time. You want to come in, take a look... I don't mind. You just do it real slow. Real, real slow. Who's he? Raylan: Uh, he's the man who killed yoo-hoo. Yolo. Raylan: Whatever. Him? Raylan: People underestimate Bob at their peril. [ Gun cocks ] Okay. What next? Raylan: Well, now, you ask again where Drew went, and then you threaten to kill us if we don't tell. Just keep in mind Bob looks the way he does 'cause he wouldn't talk. Him setting the bar so high, I figure I got to hold out myself, so... I guess you kill us. [ Helicopter blades whirring ] [ Scoffs ] Fine by me. Raylan: You don't hear that? [ Sirens wail in distance ] I believe those are friends of mine. So you can try to kill us. But then they're gonna show up and kill you. Everybody loses, or... You could be on your way... And just promise me that we'll get together and do this again someday. Where the hell are you going? Boyd: Well, you heard him. Drew ain't here, and they ain't gonna talk. And you want to stay and kill the Marshals, that's on you. But that ain't what I signed up for. Well, what if we just kill you? Boyd: Because, Mr. Picker, your God has much bigger problems than me. Raylan: You promise me, too, Boyd. Boyd: You can count on it, Raylan! Raylan: We're clear. They skedaddled fast. Smart enough to know they'd lost. Art: Well, I thought I'd had a fun day. Quick question... where's Drew? Raylan: You want to tell them, Bob? It was your idea. Well, you... You think you'd need a car or a helicopter to get out of Harlan, but there's another way. [ Train whistle blowing ]	Plan: A: Nick Augustine; Q: Who insults Ava and outs Johnny's betrayal? A: Johnny's bar; Q: Where does Nick Augustine visit Boyd? A: Drew; Q: Who does Raylan and Rachel stay with? A: All the Marshals; Q: Who is guarding Drew Thompson? A: a helicopter; Q: What do the Marshals wait for to help them capture Drew Thompson? A: Lexington; Q: Where is the helicopter that the Marshals are waiting for? A: their resources; Q: What do the Marshals decide to divide? A: Art; Q: Who is the Marshal who creates a decoy of cars leaving Harlan? A: Raylan; Q: Who refuses to hand over Drew to Boyd and Picker? A: the road; Q: Where is the ambush set up? A: three abandoned cars; Q: What do Art and Tim see on the highway? A: one; Q: How many of Yolo's guns does Bob get? A: Mort; Q: Who is one of Augustine's henchmen? A: safety; Q: Why do Raylan, Rachel, and Drew head to Raylan's old high school? A: the chopper; Q: What do Raylan, Rachel, and Drew wait for at Raylan's old high school? A: Arlo's house; Q: Where is Bob Sweeney held hostage? A: Bobby Campo; Q: Who is Yolo? A: her; Q: What does Ava tell Johnny he loves? A: possum; Q: What does Bob play to get past Yolo? A: his femoral artery; Q: What does Bob Sweeney cut when he stabs Yolo in the leg? A: Nick's gun; Q: What does Ava get after distracting Nick with brandy and a lighter to the face? A: a Molotov cocktail; Q: What does Tim use to blow up one of the booby-trapped cars? A: Raylan's aid; Q: Where do the law enforcement rush to after Tim blows up a car? A: John Kapelos; Q: Who plays Picker? A: more men; Q: What does Raylan tell Boyd and Picker to come back with? A: enough time; Q: How much time does Raylan buy for Rachel and Drew to escape Harlan? A: Rachel and Drew; Q: Who escapes Harlan by means of a coal train? Summary: Nick Augustine visits Boyd at Johnny's bar, angered at Boyd's failure to round up Drew Thompson. Boyd reassures Nick that Nick needs Boyd alive so that Boyd can help Nick capture Drew Thompson. All the Marshals are back at Arlo's old house, cooped up guarding Drew Thompson while they wait for a helicopter from Lexington. They decide to divide their resources: Art and Tim to create a decoy of cars leaving Harlan (without Drew Thompson) while Raylan and Rachel will stay with Drew. On the road, Art and Tim see three abandoned cars on the highway, which Tim quickly suspects is a set-up for an ambush based on bomb-rigged cars and snipers. Tim proves to be right as Colt and Mort (one of Augustine's henchman) spy from afar. Meanwhile, Raylan, Rachel, and Drew head to Raylan's old high school for safety to lay up and wait for the chopper. At Arlo's house, Bob Sweeney is held hostage by Yolo ( Bobby Campo ), who brutally beats him to find out where Drew Thompson is. Bob turns the tables on Yolo by playing possum and stabbing Yolo in the leg, cutting his femoral artery, when he gets close enough. After a struggle, Bob manages to get his hands on one of Yolo's guns and shoots him dead just as Raylan arrives. Back at the bar, Nick insults Ava and outs Johnny's betrayal. Ava manages to get Nick's gun after distracting Nick with brandy and a lighter to the face. Johnny has a gun on Ava and tells Ava he loves her. Ava leaves the bar and Johnny doesn't shoot her. Back at the ambush at the road, Tim gets out of the situation by blowing up one of the booby-trapped cars with a Molotov cocktail, allowing the law enforcement to escape and rush to Raylan's aid. Boyd and Picker ( John Kapelos ) show up at the high school where Raylan refuses to hand Drew over before telling them to come back with more men. This buys enough time for Rachel and Drew to escape Harlan safely by means of a coal train.
5:45pm - 6:10pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: EXT. ARIDIUS (With a straining, groaning sound, a buried DALEK rises up out of the sand and looks about its surroundings.) DOCTOR: Keep your head down. They haven't seen us yet. BARBARA: (Pointing.) Doctor, look! There's more of them. (BARBARA points to her right.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: EXT. ARIDIUS (A FIRST DALEK glides up to another that waits on a small ridge.) SECOND DALEK: The enemy time machine is in this area. FIRST DALEK: We can locate the position with our seismic detectors. SECOND DALEK: Find and destroy it. The remainder will search for the humans. FIRST DALEK: Are they to be taken alive? SECOND DALEK: No. They are to be exterminated. FIRST DALEK: Good! SECOND DALEK: Destroyed. FIRST DALEK: Exterminated! SECOND DALEK: ... Let the search begin. [SCENE_BREAK] 3: EXT. ARIDIUS DOCTOR: Stay down. One of them's coming this way! (The DOCTOR and BARBARA duck down behind the ridge of sand that they are lying on. A DALEK glides past without seeing them. Once past, the DOCTOR and BARBARA sit up again.) DOCTOR: We must find the TARDIS before they do, hmm? Hmm? BARBARA: Yes, and we must warn Ian and Vicki. They don't even know the Daleks are here. DOCTOR: Yes, ye... (Realising what she has said.) Warn them? But how? We haven't seen them for hours. Anyway, it's no good hanging about here. Come on, let's get moving, come... (They struggle to their feet. But before they can move on, they are stopped in their tracks by the sight of two alien beings who stand before them. Basically humanoid in shape, they are partially covered in scales and have amphibious-like fins on their head and down their back.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. TRAPDOOR ENTRANCE (VICKI screams at the creature that has just shut the trap door. IAN: Don't just stand there and scream you little fool! Run! (As they run off, a tentacle waves in the air.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. TUNNEL (IAN runs down a tunnel but another of the octopoid creatures blocks his way. VICKI runs up.) VICKI: Oh, don't just standing there gaping, you nit! Come on, back! (IAN runs a few yards, then throws a rock at the creature. He and VICKI run off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: EXT. ARIDIUS (A DALEK glides down a sand dune. It comes across a THIRD DALEK which has a detector type instrument in place of the usual sucker arm.) THIRD DALEK: Wait. Tracks of the humans. FOURTH DALEK: Follow them. (A low bleeping noise starts to emit from the THIRD DALEK'S detector.) THIRD DALEK: Wait. Perceptor indicates someone is near. It draws closer. FOURTH DALEK: Destroy on sight. (Another of the amphibious creatures wanders into view over a ridge. The FOURTH DALEK fires and the creature falls back with a scream.) THIRD DALEK: An Aridian. One of the species that inhabits this planet. Unimportant. Continue the search. (The FOURTH DALEK glides away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: EXT. ARIDIUS (The DOCTOR and BARBARA have made the acquaintance of the two Aridians. One of them, MALSAN stands with BARBARA on a ridge as he explains the history of their planet.) MALSAN: This desert, was once a vast ocean. We, the Aridians, lived in a city beneath the sea, but for a thousand years, those twin suns that burn, have moved closer and closer. (Next to them, the DOCTOR sits, wafting himself with his Panama hat as the other Aridian, RYNIAN, who is sat next to him, continues with the story...) RYNIAN: Then...then the sea's dried up and all the creatures that lived within their waters perished. MALSAN: All but...the Mire Beasts. BARBARA: Mire Beasts? What are they? MALSAN: They lived in the slime, at the bottom of the ocean. When the waters were gone, they invaded our cities. RYNIAN: There were too many of them. We tried to destroy them! They multiplied too quickly for us. We were driven back as the Mire Beasts took over more and more of our beautiful city. DOCTOR: These Mire Beasts - what do they feed on, mmm? MALSAN: They are...flesh eaters. DOCTOR: You mean they attack humans? MALSAN: Of course. DOCTOR: Oh, good gracious! (BARBARA, who has joined the DOCTOR, is horrified at this news...) BARBARA: Doctor! Look, two of our friends went out into the desert. Will you help us find them? RYNIAN: When did you see them last? BARBARA: Last night. MALSAN: The Mire Beasts hunt at night. RYNIAN: Do you think they are near or far? DOCTOR: Oh, I don't think they can travel far in this sand. MALSAN: Then they might have gone through the Taltarian air-lock, into the tunnels. RYNIAN: Then it is too late! BARBARA: How do you mean "it's too late"? RYNIAN: It is to be exploded. DOCTOR: Exploded? RYNIAN: Yes, the air-lock. You see, we Aridians have learned the only way to destroy the Mire Beast is to entomb them in the sections of the city they have occupied. MALSAN: The Taltarian air-lock will be detonated at high suns. BARBARA: Well then we must stop it! RYNIAN: No, we would not reach the air-lock in time. (BARBARA, unconvinced, jumps up and tries to get past MALSAN.) DOCTOR: (Trying to calm her.) Now, hush, hush, hush. BARBARA: (Struggling with MALSAN.) Look where...? (MALSAN lets go of BARBARA but blocks her path. RYNIAN has hold of her now.) BARBARA: Look, where is this place? (RYNIAN lets go of her and joins MALSAN.) RYNIAN: If we move faster than the suns? (MALSAN looks into the sky and considers.) MALSAN: We will try. (To the DOCTOR and BARBARA.) Follow! (They all run off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: EXT. ARIDIUS (The two suns burn brightly onto the sandy wastes. Another Aridian looks into the sky. Next to him is a plunger-type device.) PRONDYN: It's high sun. (He adjusts the machine and grasps the handle.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. TUNNEL (VICKI steps forward through the tunnel. Suddenly a tentacle grasps her round the neck.) VICKI: Ian! IAN: (Coming into view.) Vicki! (He grabs the startled girl and tries to pull the tentacle of the MIRE BEAST away from her.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: EXT. ARIDIUS (PRONDYN activates the explosives. The sand dunes blast apart...) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. TUNNEL (The roof of the tunnel falls down on top of the MIRE BEAST and the struggling humans.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: EXT. ARIDIUS (A small distance away, the DOCTOR and BARBARA cover their faces from the effects of the explosion.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. TUNNEL (IAN lies face down on the tunnel floor. VICKI sits over him as the dust settles and the arm of the MIRE BEAST falls to the ground as it dies. VICKI tries to rouse IAN.) VICKI: Ian! Ian! Oh! (She turns him over.) VICKI: Oh, Ian! (She takes her handkerchief out of her pocket and dabs his face.) VICKI: I'll get help, I'll...I'll find the Doctor and get help! (She runs off past the dead MIRE BEAST.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: EXT. ARIDIUS. CITY ENTRANCE (The two Aridians and the two time travellers come up to a large hole in the ground.) MALSAN: We have arrived. This is the gate to our city. DOCTOR: (Looking round.) I'm afraid I can't see any signs of a city, hmm! (Laughs.) (RYNIAN starts to clear way some sand next to the hole.) MALSAN: This...this old air-lock, we used it when our city was beneath the sea. DOCTOR: Huh! MALSAN: It will take us to a part of our home that is still free from Mire Beasts. DOCTOR: I see. Well, we're very grateful for your hospitality but I must you the Daleks are right on top of us. And I don't want either you or your people involved in any of this dangerous business. If they knew...you'd given us shelter, they'll show no mercy. MALSAN: No matter. First, you need food and rest. Then we will help you search for your time machine. DOCTOR: Ah, splendid, splendid! MALSAN: (To RYNIAN.) Open the lock. (RYNIAN pulls up a lever and a trapdoor opens downwards with a creaking noise. The DOCTOR steps forward and looks through the trapdoor.) RYNIAN: Please enter. There is no danger. (The DOCTOR starts to climb through the trapdoor. He signals to a saddened looking BARBARA who stands some feet away gazing over the sandy wastes.) DOCTOR: Barbara! Barbara, my dear! Come along, come along! [SCENE_BREAK] 15: EXT. ARDIUS (The DALEKS perceptor instrument bleeps away...) THIRD DALEK: The seismic detector is registering a contact. FIRST DALEK: The enemy time machine is beneath the sand at this point. THIRD DALEK: Then it was buried by last night's storm. FIRST DALEK: It must be uncovered before we can destroy it. THIRD DALEK: Yes. FIRST DALEK: We will take some Aridians prisoner. THIRD DALEK: Yes. FIRST DALEK: And use them to dig the ship free. THIRD DALEK: Yes. (The FIRST DALEK turns to go. The THIRD DALEK doesn't move and the FIRST DALEK turns back.) FIRST DALEK: Well, see to it! THIRD DALEK: I obey! (It glides away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. CHAMBER (The DOCTOR and BARBARA sit on some steps in a darkened stone chamber in the Aridian city. The DOCTOR is happily tucking into a plate full of food. BARBARA has a plate of her own but simply stares at her food.) DOCTOR: Mmm. I think this is..is...is absolutely delicious. Mmm. It's a most unusual flavour, isn't it? BARBARA: (Angrily.) Doctor, how can you sit there eating when Ian... DOCTOR: Oh, my dear, you think I'm being callous do you? BARBARA: Yes I do! DOCTOR: Then I think it's pure supposition that they've been caught by those Mire Beasts. After all, we weren't, mm? You haven't much faith in Ian's infallible self-preservation, have you? Mmm? BARBARA: (Quietly.) I'm sorry. This place gives me the creeps. DOCTOR: Oh rubbish, my dear, rubbish! (The DOCTOR looks round the rest of the chamber which is decorated with arches, pillars and has several flights of steps.) DOCTOR: I think it's fascinating, ye-es! You could almost call it..."beautiful". You know I think you're tired. Close your eyes and try and get some rest. Go on, go on! We must conserve our strength if we're going to get back to the TARDIS. (BARBARA nods and falls asleep against the wall behind her.) DOCTOR: (To himself.) Yes...if ever we can get back to the TARDIS. Hmm! (The DOCTOR looks round as MALSAN and two other Aridians enter the chamber and descend one of the flights of stairs.) DOCTOR: Ah, Malsan! Hmm! MALSAN: You enjoyed your meal? DOCTOR: Oh, indeed, yes! Indeed, yes. Yes, it was a most unusual taste. You know, I've been taking stock of this place, having a jolly good look round here. Tell me, why is this, er, opening walled up, hmm? (The DOCTOR points to the wall against which BARBARA is asleep. The wall she leans against has obviously been walled up recently and means that this flight of steps goes nowhere.) MALSAN: It led to a part of our city that's been invaded by Mire Beasts. DOCTOR: (Thinking.) Yeah... MALSAN: It is the same all over. We have to block off tunnels to stop their advance. DOCTOR: Hmm! MALSAN: (Embarrassed.) Do please sit down. I have...some news for you. (The DOCTOR looks as if he knows what is to come. He does as he is asked. The other two Aridians stand respectively at the top and bottom of the flight of steps - as if they are on guard.) DOCTOR: Now, what is it? MALSAN: The leader of the Daleks has communicated with us. They have issued an ultimatum. DOCTOR: Yes, I suspected something of that kind might happen. What is it, hmm? MALSAN: We hand you over to them, or they will destroy what remains of our city. DOCTOR: They mean what they say. They don't make idle threats. Have you replied, hmm? MALSAN: Not yet. The elders are still discussing it. We have a half-sun in which to give them our answer. DOCTOR: Hmm, you haven't much choice, have you? Well I don't propose to inflict our troubles on you sir, so I think we'll leave and take our chances, mm? (He gets up.) MALSAN: No, no, no! The Daleks have said that we must hand you over, not...set you free to try and escape. DOCTOR: You mean? MALSAN: You must be our prisoners, until such time as our arrangements with the Daleks have been completed, then...if the elders agree, you will be given into their custody. (The DOCTOR receives this news quietly...) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. TRAPDOOR ENTRANCE (VICKI has reached the steps which leads up to another trapdoor. She climbs them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: EXT. ARIDIUS (She emerges into the bright sunlight and sees, a matter of feet away, two Aridians clearing the last of the sand away from the TARDIS. They are supervised by two DALEKS.) FIRST DALEK: The digging is completed. Are the prisoners to go free? SECOND DALEK: No. They are worthless inferior creatures. THIRD DALEK: They have no value to us. Destroy them. (The two ARIDIANS try to flee in a panic but the DALEKS spin round and blast them. With a cry, they fall to the ground, dead.) SECOND DALEK: Destroy the enemy time machine. Use full power. Fire! (The TARDIS light around the TARDIS flares as the DALEKS fire. There is no other effect.) SECOND DALEK: Again - fire! (Again, the DALEK guns have no effect.) SECOND DALEK: It is undamaged. FIRST DALEK: It must be constructed of a material that can resist our neutralisers. THIRD DALEK: Failure. SECOND DALEK: Remain on guard until the prisoners have been handed over and exterminated. FIRST & THIRD DALEK: We obey. (The SECOND DALEK glides away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. TRAPDOOR ENTRANCE (VICKI climbs back down the steps and goes back into the Aridian city.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. CHAMBER (BARBARA is still asleep, watched over by an Aridian. The DOCTOR walks up to her and touches her on the shoulder. She awakes.) BARBARA: Oh... DOCTOR: Feeling better, hmm? BARBARA: Yes. What's happened? DOCTOR: Well, it's not too good, I'm afraid. Ah, this looks like bad news coming now. BARBARA: Bad news? What bad news? (RYNIAN walks down one of the flights of steps and up to MALSAN.) RYNIAN: The elders have made their reply to the Daleks. (MALSAN looks perturbed, but collects himself.) MALSAN: They must be told. (RYNIAN nods his agreement. MALSAN walks over to where the DOCTOR and BARBARA sit on the steps leading to the walled-up exit.) DOCTOR: (Quietly.) Well? MALSAN: Have you eaten? DOCTOR: What is the news, hmm? MALSAN: You are to be handed over at last suns. The Daleks have promised that when the execution is over they will Aridius unharmed. BARBARA: (Shocked.) You're...you're going to hand us over to the Daleks? MALSAN: (Unhappily.) We have no choice. The elders have so decreed. Please...? (MALSAN and the other Aridian bow their heads and walk away.) DOCTOR: They have no choice. BARBARA: Yes...but...just to be handed over like that? DOCTOR: Two hours. Their suns are due to set in two hours. (Behind them unseen, dust falls as something starts to push the wall from the other side...) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. TUNNEL (IAN slowly comes round. He feels his head and looks around.) IAN: (Weakly.) Vicki... (He sits up.) IAN: (Shouts.) Vicki? Vicki? (He gets up and walks down the tunnel.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. TUNNEL (Elsewhere, VICKI cautiously runs down a tunnel. Suddenly she is grabbed from behind by an Aridian. She yells as she is carried away.) PRONDYN: You must come with me. [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. CHAMBER (More dust falls from the wall. This time, BARBARA notices it.) BARBARA: Doctor? DOCTOR: Hmm? BARBARA: Where does this walled up section lead? DOCTOR: Oh, it's another part of the city, I believe. The part that was invaded. (At that moment, VICKI is carried in. She gives her abductor a hard kick in the chin that sends him to the floor with a cry.) BARBARA: Vicki! (VICKI tries to run out but there are other Aridians on guard. She runs down some steps to the DOCTOR and BARBARA.) BARBARA: Vicki, where's Ian?! VICKI: Doctor! DOCTOR: Is Ian...is Chesterton all right, mm? VICKI: He...he got a bad knock on the head. I made him as comfortable as possible and came to get help. BARBARA: It might have been better if you'd stayed where you were. VICKI: No it wouldn't - because on my way here, I found an exit out of one of the tunnels, and just outside it - the TARDIS! DOCTOR: (Happily.) Ah, well, well, well now! That puts a different complexion on the matter. Tell me, my dear, this tunnel - would you know how to find it again? Mmm? VICKI: I'm very sure of it. A big iron door, just beyond that opening, over there. (VICKI points to the entrance through which she was just brought in.) BARBARA: Oh Doctor, maybe things will be all right after all? DOCTOR: Yes, now I c... (He stops as he sees RYNIAN and another Aridian walk in and go up to MALSAN. They nod their heads in confirmation. MALSAN slowly walks up to the time travellers.) MALSAN: It is time. I am to take you to the main airlock. (There is a creaking noise behind them. One brick of the walled-up entrance has been dislodged and the tentacled arm of a MIRE BEAST appears through it. At the same time, BARBARA retreats from the Aridians and backs up against the self-same weakened wall which collapses around her. She screams. Chaos erupts as the MIRE BEAST starts to break through and the DOCTOR, VICKI and the Aridians go to assist. After a struggle, which involves much shouting, the time travellers and all but one of the Aridians break free and retreat. The invading MIRE BEAST quickly starts to smother the remaining Aridian. BARBARA tries to free him but the DOCTOR, seeing that the situation is hopeless, turns back and pulls her away. He forcibly throws her up the stairs. They run off as the MIRE BEAST devours its victim.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. TRAPDOOR ENTRANCE (NIGHT) (IAN clambers up the same stairs that VICKI found earlier.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: EXT. ARIDIUS (NIGHT) (Up above, another night has quickly fallen. IAN pokes his head above the level of the trapdoor. He sees the two vigilant DALEKS outside the TARDIS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. TRAPDOOR ENTRANCE (NIGHT) (IAN cautiously climbs back down the steps. He stops for a second to consider and plan, then moves on.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. TUNNEL (NIGHT) (The time travellers have escaped from the Aridians and the DOCTOR and BARBARA follow VICKI as she guides them down a tunnel. The DOCTOR is out of breath.) VICKI: Down here. BARBARA: Are you sure this is the right way? VICKI: 'Course I am - come on! [SCENE_BREAK] 28: EXT. ARIDIUS (NIGHT) (The SECOND DALEK glides up to the two DALEKS guarding the TARDIS.) SECOND DALEK: The prisoners have escaped from the Aridians. FIRST DALEK: Are we to proceed with the destruction of the underground city? SECOND DALEK: The Aridians have one hour to re-capture the humans. If they fail, we act. FIRST DALEK: I understand. THIRD DALEK: The humans may try to reach their machine. SECOND DALEK: Remain on guard. FIRST DALEK: I obey. (The THIRD DALEK follows the SECOND DALEK and they glide away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. TRAPDOOR ENTRANCE (NIGHT) (IAN is collecting branches. He hears movement from a tunnel leading off from the trapdoor entrance and retreats. VICKI comes into view leading the DOCTOR and BARBARA.) VICKI: Come on. (BARBARA runs forward and spots him. They have an excited reunion.) BARBARA: Ian! IAN: Barbara! DOCTOR: Chesterton, come here! VICKI: Are you all right? What's happened to your ... ? BARBARA: ... all over your face. IAN: It looks worse than it is. Look... DOCTOR: My dear boy...! IAN: The TARDIS... DOCTOR: Mmm? IAN: It's only twenty yards away but there's a Dalek guarding it. BARBARA: Well, we must get past it. IAN: Now listen, I've got a very good idea. (To BARBARA and VICKI.) You two go first. BARBARA: Yes... IAN: You get out of here and there's a ridge of sand on the left. Now you take cover. You get in a good position where you can nip in. BARBARA: Nip in what? IAN: The TARDIS! BARBARA: Yes, yes, course. IAN: Off you go. BARBARA: (To VICKI.) Come on. IAN: Oh, Barbara, could, I, er, have your cardigan? (BARBARA hesitates.) IAN: Quickly, quickly! BARBARA: Oh, not again! IAN: It's for the Dalek, not for me! BARBARA: (Passing it to IAN.) Here. VICKI: I hope it suits it! IAN: Off you go. (The DOCTOR goes to follow.) DOCTOR: Come along. IAN: (Stopping him.) Oh, Doctor? DOCTOR: Mmm? IAN: Er, your coat please? DOCTOR: My dear boy, we're trying to beat the Daleks. Not start a jumble sale! Mmm? IAN: All will be revealed in due time Doctor. Your coat please. DOCTOR: (Tuts.) Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear. (The DOCTOR takes off his coat.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: EXT. ARIDIUS (NIGHT) (BARBARA and VICKI settle down behind the ridge.) VICKI: (Whispers.) What are they gonna do, Barbara? BARBARA: (Whispers.) I don't know. Trying to get the Dalek away from the TARDIS, I should think. [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. TRAPDOOR ENTRANCE (NIGHT) (From beneath, the DOCTOR and IAN start laying the twigs and branches across one corner of the trapdoor.) DOCTOR: What's the point of all this, dear boy, mm? Mmm? IAN: Doctor, with any luck, with your coat, and Barbara's cardigan, we're gonna make a trap. (He throws BARBARA'S cardigan over the branches.) IAN: We're gonna lure the Dalek... DOCTOR: Mmm? IAN: ...over this trap, and with any luck, he'll...it'll fall down here. (He throws the DOCTOR'S jacket over.) DOCTOR: That's a good scheme. Yes, that's a good idea. (His head goes a bit too high over the edge of the trapdoor.) IAN: Keep down! DOCTOR: Mmm. [SCENE_BREAK] 32: EXT. ARIDUS (NIGHT) VICKI: (Whispers.) But how? BARBARA: (Whispers.) I dunno - but wait and see. [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. TRAPDOOR ENTRANCE (NIGHT) (The jacket and cardigan have been carefully laid over the branches.) IAN: Right. (The two men start to throw sand over the clothes to hide them.) DOCTOR: Well, I hope it works. (They finish their task. IAN checks over the edge.) IAN: All right, Doctor. Now, I'm going first. Then you follow, you keep on that side... DOCTOR: Ahh. IAN: You keep plenty of cover in. DOCTOR: All right, careful. (The two men carefully clamber over either side of the trapdoor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: EXT. ARIDIUS (NIGHT) (IAN stands up and waves his arms.) IAN: Oo-ooh! Dalek! (The DALEK turns.) IAN: Over here, friend! (The DALEK fires. IAN ducks down and the shot misses. The DOCTOR rises on the other side of the trapdoor.) DOCTOR: Yoo-hoo, Auntie! (The DALEK fires and again the shot misses. VICKI pops her head up to join in.) VICKI: Oy! (BARBARA pulls her back down. IAN stands again.) IAN: Over here! (Another shot misses...) DOCTOR: Hey! (...and another. The DALEK glides forward, into the trap and straight into the hole. IAN runs forward.) IAN: Try and get out of that hole, friend. (The others join him.) BARBARA: Well, that got rid of that one. IAN: Yeah! (The DOCTOR laughs.) VICKI: (Points.) Look! IAN: Quick! Into the TARDIS! DOCTOR: Go on! (The four run into the TARDIS and close the door. The other DALEKS have returned. They fire on the ship as it dematerialises.) FOURTH DALEK: Cease firing. They have escaped. THIRD DALEK: Final termination is inevitable. FOURTH DALEK: Eradicate! THIRD DALEK: Obliterate! FOURTH DALEK: Annihilate! SECOND DALEK: We will embark in our time machine at once. The Dalek supreme has ordered they are to be pursued through all eternity. Pursued and exterminated!	Plan: A: The travellers; Q: Who is taken prisoner by the Mechonoids? A: theMoroks' museum; Q: Where did the travellers get the Time-Space Visualiser? A: their own time machine; Q: What do the Daleks have that the Doctor and his companions need to escape? A: the TARDIS; Q: What do the Doctor and his companions flee in? A: The chase; Q: What begins on the desert planet Aridius? A: stopping-off points; Q: What does the chase take in a number of? A: a spooky haunted house; Q: What is actually a futuristic fun-fair attraction? A: a futuristic fun-fair attraction; Q: What is the haunted house on Aridius actually? A: the jungle planet Mechanus; Q: Where do the Daleks try to kill the Doctor's party? A: the Mechonoids - robots; Q: Who takes the Doctor's party prisoner? A: landing sites; Q: What were the Mechonoids sent to prepare for colonists who never arrived? A: human colonists; Q: Who were the Mechonoids sent to prepare landing sites for? A: Steven Taylor; Q: Who is the stranded astronaut who has been the Mechonoids' captive for the past two years? A: The Daleks; Q: Who is on the Doctor's trail? A: a fierce battle; Q: What does the Daleks and Mechonoids engage in that ends in their mutual destruction? A: The Doctor; Q: Who reluctantly helps Ian and Barbara to use the Daleks' time machine to return home? Summary: The travellers learn from the Time-Space Visualiser taken from theMoroks' museum that Daleks equipped with their own time machine are on their trail with orders to exterminate them. They flee in the TARDIS. The chase begins on the desert planet Aridius and takes in a number of stopping-off points, including a spooky haunted house which is actually a futuristic fun-fair attraction. Eventually both time machines arrive on the jungle planet Mechanus, where the Daleks try to infiltrate and kill the Doctor's party with a robotic double of him. The travellers are taken prisoner by the Mechonoids - robots sent some fifty years earlier to prepare landing sites for human colonists who never arrived - and meet Steven Taylor, a stranded astronaut who has been the Mechonoids' captive for the past two years. The Daleks and the Mechonoids engage in a fierce battle which ends in their mutual destruction. The Doctor's party seizes this opportunity to escape. The Doctor reluctantly helps Ian and Barbara to use the Daleks' time machine to return home.
[OPENING CREDITS] [SCENE_BREAK] [THE VILLAGE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew and Isobel ride in a motorcar.] Taylor: Here we are, ma'am. Crawley House. Matthew Crawley: For good or ill. [The chauffeur opens the door for them.] Matthew Crawley: I still don't see why I couldn't just refuse it. Isobel Crawley: There's no mechanism for you to do so. You will be an earl. You will inherit the estate. Of course, you can throw it away with your habit, that's up to you. [A man comes out to meet them.] Matthew Crawley: Can I help? Mr Molesley: I'm Molesley, sir, your butler and valet. Matthew Crawley: Mr Molesley, I'm afraid-- Isobel Crawley: May I introduce ourselves? I am Mrs Crawley, and this is my son, Mr Matthew Crawley. Mr Molesley: (nods) I'll just give Mr Taylor a hand with the cases. Matthew Crawley: I can-- Isobel Crawley: Thank you, Molesley. [Molesley helps with the luggage and Matthew sulks alongside his mother.] Matthew Crawley: I won't let them change me. Isobel Crawley: Why would they want to? Matthew Crawley: Mother, Lord Grantham has made the unwelcome discovery that heir is a middleclass lawyer and son of a middleclass doctor. Isobel Crawley: Upper middleclass. Matthew Crawley: He'll have to limit the damage by turning me into me into one of his own kind. Isobel Crawley: When you met him in London, you liked him. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MAIN STAIRCASE - DAY] Cora, Countess of Grantham: I simply do not understand why we are rushing into this. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Matthew Crawley is my heir. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Patrick was your heir; he never lived here. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Patrick was in and out of this house since the day he was born. You saw how many of the village turned out for the service. Cora, Countess of Grantham: But nothing's settled yet. Robert, Earl of Grantham: It is settled, my dearest one, whether you like it or not. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I wouldn't say that. Not while your mother breathes air. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [The Crawleys' housemaid leads them through the new house.] Isobel Crawley: Oh, Ellen. This is much better than I thought it would be. You have done well. Ellen: Thank you, ma'am. Mr Molesley: Would you like this in here, ma'am, or taken up to your room? Isobel Crawley: In here, thank you. So, are you the whole of our new household? Mr Molesley: There's a local girl, ma'am, Beth. She to double under housemaid and kitchen maid. Matthew Crawley: This is ridiculous-- Isobel Crawley: Thank you very much, Molesley. Might we have some tea? Mr Molesley: Very good, ma'am. [The servants leave.] Matthew Crawley: We can go right now. Isobel Crawley: Why? Matthew Crawley: Because we do not need a butler or a valet, if it comes to that. We've always managed perfectly well with a cook and a maid and they cannot expect us to alter our-- Isobel Crawley: What they expect, Matthew, is that we won't know how to behave. So, if you don't mind, I would rather not confirm their expectations. Matthew Crawley: I have to be myself, Mother. I'll be no use to anyone if I can't be myself. And before they, or you, get any ideas, I will choose my own wife. Isobel Crawley: What on earth do you mean? Matthew Crawley: Well, they're clearly going to push one of the daughters at me. They'll have fixed on that when they heard I was a bachelor. [Molesley enters to announce...] Mr Molesley: Lady Mary Crawley. [Matthew turns, stunned.] Lady Mary: I do hope I'm not interrupting. Isobel Crawley: Lady Mary. Lady Mary: Cousin Mary, please. Mama has sent me down to welcome you and to ask you to dine with us tonight. Unless you're too tired. [Matthew stares at Mary.] Isobel Crawley: We would be delighted. Lady Mary: Good. Come at eight. [Mary turns to go.] Isobel Crawley: Won't you stay and have some tea. Lady Mary: Oh, no. You're far too busy. [Mary finally looks at Matthew.] Lady Mary: And I wouldn't want to push in. [Matthew takes that blow for a moment before going after Mary outside. Mary is already astride her horse with a servant mounting another horse next to her.] Lady Mary: Lynch, I think we'll go back by the south road. Lynch: Very good, my lady. Matthew Crawley: Lady Mary, I hope you didn't misunderstand me. I was only joking. Lady Mary: Of course. And I agree. The whole thing is a complete joke. [Mary rides off.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' HALL - EVENING] Thomas: So, what do you think we'll make of them? Miss O'Brien: I shouldn't think much. She hasn't even got a lady's maid. Anna: It's not a capital offense. Mr Bates: She's got a maid; her name's Ellen. She came a day early. Miss O'Brien: She's not a lady's maid. She's just a housemaid that fastens hooks and buttons when she has to. There's more to it than that, you know. [Mrs Patmore shouts in the kitchens.] Mrs Patmore: Daisy! Anna: We'll want some very precise reporting when dinner's over. William: Are we to treat him as the heir? Miss O'Brien: Are we heck as like. A doctor's son from Manchester? Humph. He'll be lucky if he gets a civil word out of me. Anna: We're all lucky if we get a civil word out of you. [Carson enters with a package and the other servants stand.] Mr Carson: Gwen, parcel for you. Came by the evening post. Gwen: Thank you, Mr Carson. [Carson motions for the servants to sit.] Mr Carson: William? Thomas: Have you seen him yet, Mr Carson? Mr Carson: By "them", I assume you mean the new family, in which case, no. I have that pleasure to look forward to this evening. [Mrs Patmore enters.] Mrs Patmore: Daisy, did you hear me call, or have you gone selectively deaf?! Daisy: No, Mrs Patmore. Mrs Patmore: Then might I remind you we are preparing dinner for your future employer, and if it goes wrong, I'll be telling them why! [Daisy rushes after Mrs Patmore.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY MARY'S BEDROOM - EVENING] Lady Mary: Why are they here at all when you're going to undo it? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Your father's not convinced it can be undone. Lady Mary: But you'll still try? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Granny and I are willing to try. Lady Mary: And Papa is not? Cora, Countess of Grantham: We'll bring him 'round, you'll see. We're trying to find lawyer who'll take it on. So, what are they like? Lady Mary: She's nice enough, but he's...very full of himself. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Why do you say that? Lady Mary: Just an impression. Let's go down and you can decide for yourself. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ENTRYWAY - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [The footmen take the guests' coats as Robert enters.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Hello again. It's a pleasure to meet you at last, Mrs Crawley. Isobel Crawley: We're delighted to be here, aren't we, Matthew? Matthew Crawley: Delighted. [Robert leads them into the great hall where the house staff are lined up as the family enters from the other side.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Welcome to Downton. Isobel Crawley: Thank you. You've been so kind. Matthew Crawley: What a reception committee. [The family is surprised and amused by his comment. Isobel senses the awkwardness of his comment and tries to recover.] Isobel Crawley: Yes, thank you. Robert, Earl of Grantham: This is Carson. We'd all be lost without him. Mama, may I present Matthew Crawley and Mrs Crawley, my mother, Lady Grantham. [Isobel steps forward and holds out her hand.] Isobel Crawley: What should we call each other? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, we could always start with Mrs Crawley and Lady Grantham. [Cora steps forward to guide Isobel.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Come into the drawing room and we can make all the proper introductions. [Violet looks at Carson, who tries to contain his amused smirk. The family moves into the next room.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Do you think you'll enjoy village life? It will be very quiet after life in the city. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Even Manchester. Isobel Crawley: I'm sure I'll find something to keep me busy. Cora, Countess of Grantham: You might like the hospital. Isobel Crawley: What sort of hospital is it? How many beds? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, it--it isn't really a hospital. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Don't let Dr Clarkson hear you. He thinks it's second only to St Thomas's. Cora, Countess of Grantham: It's a cottage hospital, of course, but quite well equipped. Isobel Crawley: Who pays for it? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, good. Let's talk about money. Robert, Earl of Grantham: My father gave the building and an endowment to run it. In a way, he set up his own memorial. Isobel Crawley: But how splendid. Robert, Earl of Grantham: And Mr Lloyd George's new insurance measures will help. [Mr Carson notices a tear in William's uniform coat.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Please don't speak that man's name, we are about to eat. [Thomas leans forward over Matthew's shoulder with the first dish.] Thomas: I will hold it steady and you can help yourself, sir. Matthew Crawley: Yes, I know. Thank you. [Robert notes the exchange and Mary smiles.] Lady Mary: You'll soon get used to the way things are done here. Matthew Crawley: If you mean that I'm accustomed to a very different life from this, then that is true. Lady Sybil: What will you do with your time? Matthew Crawley: I've got a job in Ripon. I said I'll start tomorrow. Robert, Earl of Grantham: A job? Matthew Crawley: In a partnership. You might have heard of it, Havel and Carter. They need someone who understands industrial law, I'm glad to say. Although, I'm afraid most of it will be wills and conveyancing. Robert, Earl of Grantham: You do know I mean to involve you in the running of the estate? Matthew Crawley: Oh, don't worry. There are plenty of hours in the day. And, of course, I'll have the weekend. Robert, Earl of Grantham: We'll discuss this later. We mustn't bore the ladies. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: What--what is a weekend? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - EVENING] Daisy: Why shouldn't he be a lawyer? Miss O'Brien: Gentlemen don't work, silly. Not real gentlemen. Anna: Don't listen to her, Daisy. Mrs Patmore: No, listen to me! And take those kidneys up to the serve room before I knock you down and serve your brains as fritters! Daisy: Yes, Mrs Patmore! Anna: I wonder what that Mr Molesley make of them. Thomas: Poor old Molesley. I pity the man who's taken that job. Mr Bates: Then why did you apply for it? Thomas: I thought it might help me to get away from you, Mr Bates. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GREAT HALL - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [The ladies exit the dining room.] Isobel Crawley (to Cora): I'm so interested to see the hospital. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Mm, well, you would be with your late husband a doctor. Isobel Crawley: Not just my husband, my father and brother, too, and I trained as a nurse during the war. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, fancy. Isobel Crawley: I'd love to be involved in some way. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, you could always help with the bring and buy sale next month. That would be most appreciated. [The girls exchange amused smiles as they follow behind. Thomas bows as they pass his post.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Thomas talks to a housemaid on their way down the stairs.] Thomas: I should say so. She's a match for the old lady. She wasn't going to give in. Mr Carson: What old lady are you referring to, Thomas? You cannot mean Her Ladyship the Dowager Countess. Not if you wish to remain in this house. Thomas: No, Mr Carson. [Carson passes Thomas to enter the servants' hall where William is playing the piano as the others visit with each other. They stand as Carson enters.] Mr Carson: William? Are you aware the seam at your shoulder is coming apart? William: I--I felt it go a bit earlier. I'll mend it when we turn in. Mr Carson: You will mend it now and you will never again appear in public in a similar state of undress. William: No, Mr Carson. Mr Carson: To progress in your chosen career, William, you must remember that a good servant at all times retains a sense of pride and dignity that reflects the pride and dignity of the family he serves. And never make me remind you of it again. [Carson leaves.] Daisy: I'll do it. [Daisy helps William remove his coat.] Daisy: And cheer up. We've all had a smack from Mr Carson. Anna: You'll be the butler yourself one day. Then you'll do the smacking. William: I could never be like him. I bet he comes from a line of butlers that goes back to the conqueror. Mr Bates: He learned his business and so will you. Even Mr Carson wasn't born standing to attention. Thomas: I hope not for his mother's sake. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [William knocks on the open door.] William: This was at the back door. [William hands Carson a letter.] Mr Carson: Thank you, William. [Mr Carson opens and reads it and his expression shifts from surprise to concern.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE VILLAGE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Bates strolls through the village and sees Carson hurrying into The Dog and Duck, checking that no one sees him entering, but missing Bates as he walks past the hospital.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON COTTAGE HOSPITAL, WARD - DAY] Dr Clarkson: It's kind of you to take an interest. Isobel Crawley: I'm afraid it's a case of the war horse in the drought. You know my late husband was a doctor. Dr Clarkson: I do. I'm familiar with Dr Crawley's work on the symptoms of infection in children. Isobel Crawley: Ah. Even I studied nursing during the South African war. Dr Clarkson: Really? [A nurse escorts a weeping woman out of the ward.] Dr Clarkson: Very distressing. A young farmer, John Drake, a tenant of Lord Grantham's, came in today. It's dropsy, I'm afraid. Isobel Crawley: May I see him? Dr Clarkson: Yeah. By all means. [Isobel walks around the screen to find the man, his legs swollen and full of sores.] Isobel Crawley: Is the dropsy of the liver or the heart? Dr Clarkson: Everything points to the heart. [The man seems to be having trouble breathing. He begins to cough and blood comes out as he brings a cloth to his mouth. Dr Clarkson goes to him.] Dr Clarkson: All right, Mr Drake, you're in safe hands now. [Dr Clarkson escorts Isobel past the hospital gate.] Isobel Crawley: What will happen to his wife? Dr Clarkson: She may try to keep the farm on. Grantham is not a harsh landlord, but her children are young. Isobel Crawley: What can I do to help? [Dr Clarkson is surprised.] Isobel Crawley: If I'm to live in this village, I must have an occupation. Please, let me be useful. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE, MATTHEW CRAWLEY'S BEDROOM - DAY] Mr Molesley: He chooses his clothes himself. He puts them out at night and hangs the ones he's worn. I get to take the linen down to the laundry, but that's about all. Mr Bates: That's all? Mr Molesley: "I'll do this," he says. "I'll take the other. I'll tie that." I'm just stood there like a chump, watching a man get dressed. To be honest, Mr Bates, I don't see the point of it. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON ABBEY, GROUNDS - DAY] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I thought you didn't like him? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, so what? I have plenty of friends I don't like. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Would you want Mary to marry one of them? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Why do you always have to pretend to be nicer than the rest of us? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Perhaps I am. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Then pity your wife whose fortune must go to this odd young man who talks about weekends and jobs. If Mary were to marry him, then all would be resolved. [Robert and Violet pass Thomas as they enter the library.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOUSEMAIDS' BEDROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Gwen puts away a paper she's reading when Anna enters.] Anna: What have you got there? Gwen: Nothing. Anna: What kind of nothing? You haven't got an admirer? Gwen: I might have. And why shouldn't I? Anna: Don't tell Mrs Hughes. She'll bring the vicar 'round till you're exorcised. Gwen: How are we supposed to find husbands if we're never allowed to see any men? Anna: Perhaps she thinks the stork brings them. [The get into their beds.] Anna: Hey. Lady Mary's in for a surprise. Thomas was in the library when old Violet came in from the garden. Seems they want to fix her up with Mr Crawley. Gwen: Well, it makes sense. She was going to marry Mr Patrick. Anna: Would she have, though? When it came to it? That's the question. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - DAY] Isobel Crawley: Ah, there you are, dear. I was hoping you'd be home in time. [Matthew shrugs off his own coat, and Molesley's assistance.] Matthew Crawley: In time for what? Isobel Crawley: I've been paid the compliment of a visit. [They enter the living room where Cora and Violet are sitting.] Matthew Crawley: Hello. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Good afternoon, Cousin Matthew. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Afternoon. Cora, Countess of Grantham: We were just saying how charming this room is now. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Mm. It always seemed rather dark when my mother in law lived here. But then she made everything rather dark. [Violet chuckles. Molesley offers Matthew a tray of tea cakes.] Matthew Crawley: No, thank you. Mr Molesley: Cup--cup of tea, sir? Matthew Crawley: It's all right, I'll help myself. [The ladies can see how uncomfortable Matthew's stubborn self-sufficiency is making Molesley.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: So, Molesley, how do you find being home again? Your father must be glad you're back. Mr Molesley: He is, Your Ladyship. [Matthew takes one of the teacakes from the tray Molesley is holding and Violet watches painfully.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Might I give you this cup? Mr Molesley: Ma'am. [Molesley takes the teacup.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I'm afraid we must be going. [The ladies rise.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Thank you. Cora, Countess of Grantham: You'll think about it? [Isobel nods.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Anna washes something alone. She hears someone stumble on the stair and hurt himself. She finds Carson scrambling to pick up some fallen food from his bag in the pantry.] Mr Carson: Oh, I thought no one was here. Anna: Can I help, Mr Carson? Mr Carson: Er...no. No, thank you, Anna. [Mr Carson walks out with the bag full of food.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON COTTAGE HOSPITAL, WARD - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Isobel wears a nurse's apron, she leans over a patient with a stethoscope.] Isobel Crawley: May I? [Mr Drake nods.] Dr Clarkson: I must compliment you, Mrs Crawley. When you made your offer, I thought you might be a great lady nurse and faint at the sight of blood, but I see you're made of sterner stuff. [Isobel steps aside with Dr Clarkson.] Isobel Crawley: It's definitely the heart. It's almost too quiet to hear at all. Dr Clarkson: I'm afraid so. Isobel Crawley: I've been thinking about the treatments that are available. Considerable success has been achieved over the last few years by draining the pericardial sac of the excess fluid and administering adrenaline. Dr Clarkson: Mrs Crawley, I appreciate your thoroughness. Isobel Crawley: But you're unwilling to try it? Dr Clarkson: Injection of adrenaline is a comparatively new procedure. Isobel Crawley: It's a while ago now, but I saw my husband do it. I know how. Dr Clarkson: Please, Mrs Crawley, don't--don't force me to be uncivil. We would be setting an impossible precedent when every villager could--could demand the latest fad in treatment for each new cut and graze. Isobel Crawley: I would remind you that we're not talking of a cut or a graze, but the loss of a man's life and the ruin of his family. Dr Clarkson: Of course, but I beg you to see that it is...not reasonable. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' HALL - DAY] Miss O'Brien: I'm sorry, but I have standards. [Anna enters and sits down next to Bates.] Anna (whisper): I've just seen something ever so odd. Mr Bates (whisper): What? Miss O'Brien: And if anyone thinks I'm going to pull my forelock and curtsy to this [Cora enters.] Miss O'Brien: Mr Nobody from Nowhere-- Cora, Countess of Grantham: O'Brien. [The servants stand.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Were you discussing Mr Crawley? Miss O'Brien: Yes, milady. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Is it your place to do so? Miss O'Brien: I've got my opinions, milady, same as anybody. [Mrs Hughes enters.] Mrs Hughes: Can I help Your Ladyship? Cora, Countess of Grantham: This is the button we're missing from my new evening coat, I found it lying on the gravel, but I was shocked at the talk I heard as I came in. Mr Crawley is His Lordship's cousin and heir. You will, therefore, please accord him the respect he's entitled to. Miss O'Brien: But you don't like him yourself, milady. You never wanted him to-- Cora, Countess of Grantham: Your sailing perilously close to the wind, O'Brien. If we're to be friends, you will not speak in that way again about the Crawleys or any member of Lord Grantham's family. Now, I'm going up to rest. Wake me at the dressing gong. [Cora leaves and the servants sit back down.] Thomas: I don't think that's fair. Not here in the servants' hall. Miss O'Brien: I agree. If she was a real lady, she wouldn't have come down here. She'd have rung for me and given me the button, that's all. Thomas: This isn't their territory, we can say what we like down here. Mrs Hughes: Who says? Thomas: The law. And parliament. There is such a thing as free speech. Mrs Hughes: Not when I'm in charge! Don't push your luck, Thomas. Now, tea's over. Back to work. You'd better take this. [Mrs Hughes hands O'Brien Cora's coat button.] Miss O'Brien: "Friends." Who does she think she's fooling? We're not friends. Anna: No? Miss O'Brien: No. And you're not friends with the girls, neither. We're servants, you and me, and they pay us to do as we're told, that's all. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Molesley watches as Matthew tries to adjust his bowtie.] Mr Molesley: May I...? Matthew Crawley: I can manage. Now, where have I put my cufflinks? Mr Molesley: I thought these would make a change-- Matthew Crawley: No, my usual ones. [Matthew puts the cufflinks on himself.] Matthew Crawley: I know I'm a disappointment to you, Molesley, but it's no good. I'll never get used to being dressed like a doll. Mr Molesley: I'm only trying to help, sir. Matthew Crawley: Of course. And if I've offended you, I apologise. But surely you have better things to do. Mr Molesley: This is my job, sir. [Matthew puts on his own tailcoat.] Matthew Crawley: Well, it seems a very silly occupation for a grown man. [Matthew turns around and sees Molesley's dismay.] Matthew Crawley: Look, I'm sorry if I'm... [Matthew can't recover from what he just said.] Matthew Crawley: I'm sorry. [Matthew leaves quickly and Molesley steps forward to help, but stops.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY MARY'S BEDROOM - EVENING] Lady Sybil: Why are you so against him? Lady Mary: Aside from the fact he's planning to steal our inheritance? Lady Edith: Your inheritance. It makes no difference to Sybil and me. We won't inherit, whatever happens. Lady Mary: He isn't one of us. Lady Sybil: Cousin Freddy's studying for the bar, and so is Vivian McDonald. [Edith sneaks a peek at a letter Mary received from Evelyn.] Lady Mary: At Lincoln's Inn. Not sitting at a dirty little desk in Ripon. Besides, his father was a doctor. Lady Sybil: There's nothing wrong with doctors. We all need doctors. Lady Mary: We all need crossing sweepers and draymen, too, it doesn't mean we have to dine with them. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Whom don't we have to dine with? Lady Edith: Mary doesn't care for Cousin Matthew. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Sybil, be a dear and fetch my black evening shawl. O'Brien knows which one. [Sybil gets up to leave.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: And Edith, can you see if the drawing room's ready. [Edith leaves, too.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Glad to catch you alone. Lady Mary: You've driven the others away. CORA, COUNTESS OF GRANTHAM (chuckles) Perhaps I have. [Cora looks at the flowers on Mary's vanity table.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Pretty. The point is, my dear, I don't want you, any of you...to feel you have to dislike Matthew. Lady Mary: You dislike the idea of him. Cora, Countess of Grantham: That was before he came. Now he's here, I don't see any future in it. Not the way things are. Lady Mary: I don't believe a woman can be forced to give away all her money to a distant cousin of her husband's. Not in the 20th century. It's too ludicrous for words. Cora, Countess of Grantham: It's not as simple as that. The money isn't mine anymore. It forms a part of the estate. Lady Mary: Even so, when a judge hears-- Cora, Countess of Grantham: For once in your life, will you please just listen?! [Mary is shocked by her mother's gruffness.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: I believe there's an answer which would secure your future and give you a position. Lady Mary: You can't be serious. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Just think about it. Lady Mary: I don't have to think about it. Marry a man who can barely hold his knife like a gentleman? CORA, COUNTESS OF GRANTHAM (laughs) Oh, you exaggerate. Lady Mary: You're American, you don't understand these things. [Cora's jaw drops.] Lady Mary: Have you mentioned this to Granny? Did she laugh? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Why would she? It was her idea. [It's Mary's turn to gape at her mother.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Have you been able to explore the village? Isobel Crawley: Indeed, I have. And I thought the hospital a great credit to your father's memory. But I'm afraid the good doctor and I did not see eye to eye. VIOLET, DOWAGER COUNTESS OF GRANTHAM (chuckles) Oh, you amaze me. Isobel Crawley: He is treating one of your tenant, John Drake, for dropsy, but seems reluctant to embrace some of the newer treatments. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Drake is a good man, and far too young to die, but I suppose the doctor knows his business. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Not as well as Mrs Crawley, apparently. [Isobel tries to reply, but Robert steps in first.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: By the way, if ever you want to ride, just let Lynch know and he'll sort it out for you. Lady Mary: Oh, Papa, Cousin Matthew doesn't ride. Matthew Crawley: I ride. Lady Mary: And do you hunt? Matthew Crawley: No, I don't hunt. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I daresay there's not much opportunity in Manchester. [Violet chuckles.] Matthew Crawley: Are you a hunting family? Lady Mary: Families like ours are always hunting families. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Not always. Billy Skelton won't have them on his land. Lady Mary: But all the Skeltons are mad. Matthew Crawley: Do you hunt? Lady Mary: Occasionally. I suppose you're more interested in books than country sport. Matthew Crawley: I probably am. You'll tell me that's rather unhealthy. Lady Mary: Not unhealthy. Just unusual...among our kind of people. [Robert, Violet, and Isobel are all astonished at Mary's snobbery.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVE ROOM - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Carson meets Mrs Hughes as she brings up some plates.] Mrs Hughes (whisper): I'm changing 'round the dessert services. Mr Carson: We're missing a sugar sifter. I know I put three out. Mrs Hughes: I was talking to Anna earlier. Mr Carson: Why? What's she been saying? Mrs Hughes: Whatever's the matter? Mr Carson: What did Anna say? Mrs Hughes: Only that she thinks Thomas is bullying William. Mr Carson: Ah. Yeah, she may have a point. I'll keep an eye out. Here it is. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING] Lady Mary: I've been studying the story of Andromeda, do you know it? Matthew Crawley: Why? Lady Mary: Her father was King Cepheus, whose country was being ravaged by storms, and in the end, he decided the only way to appease the gods was to sacrifice his eldest daughter to a hideous sea monster. So, they chained her naked to a rock... Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham (chuckles uncomfortably): Really? Mary, we'll all need our smelling salts in a minute. Matthew Crawley: But the sea monster didn't get her, did he? [Sybil is transfixed by the story and the drama playing out right in front of her.] Lady Mary: No. Just when it seemed he was the only solution to her father's problems, she was rescued. Matthew Crawley: By Perseus. [Some of the wind goes out of Mary's sails.] Lady Mary: That's right. Perseus, son of a god. Rather more fitting, wouldn't you say? Matthew Crawley: That depends. I'd have to know more about the princess and the sea monster in question. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' HALL - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [William plays piano while the others visit.] Daisy: I wish I could dance like that. Thomas: Like what? [Daisy holds up a book with dance steps mapped out.] Thomas: Don't you know the grizzly bear? Mr Bates (chuckles): The grizzly bear. As if you do. Thomas: Certainly, I do. Miss O'Brien, shall we show them? Miss O'Brien: Not likely. [Anna and Bates laugh.] Thomas: William, give us a tune. Come on, Daisy. Anna: Go on. Thomas: Hands up. [Thomas puts his hands up into claws and growls and the others laugh and clap as he moves forward to dance the grizzly bear with Daisy. Mrs Patmore comes in, wiping her brow.] Mrs Patmore: Daisy. Daisy! [The music and merriment stops.] Mrs Patmore: Stop that silly nonsense before you put your joints out. See to the range and go to bed. [Daisy turns to Thomas in awe.] Daisy: Thank you, that was beautiful. [The others clap and Thomas bows as Daisy leaves.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON ABBEY, FRONT WALK - NIGHT] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I'm sorry Mary was rather sharp this evening. [Matthew chuckles.] Matthew Crawley: I doubt Cousin Mary and I are destined to be close friends. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Mmph. Matthew Crawley: I don't blame her. Her father's home and her fortune are to be passed to me. It's very harsh. [A thought strikes Violet.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: What would you say if the entail was set aside in Mary's favour? Matthew Crawley: I should try to accept it with as good a grace as I could muster. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Would you? [Violet steps towards the motorcar.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh. Well, good evening Taylor. Taylor: Good evening, milady. [Taylor holds the door open for Violet.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SILVER ROOM - NIGHT] Mrs Hughes: I'll say goodnight, Mr Carson. [Carson holds a candelabra.] Mr Carson: Look at that scratch. We'll have to get that sorted out when they're up in London. Mrs Hughes: You can hardly see it. Mr Carson: Well, I'll know it's there. Mrs Hughes: Are you all right now? Only, you seemed a little upset earlier. Mr Carson: Y-- er, I'm sorry about that. I'm just, erm...a bit tired. Mrs Hughes: And no wonder. Did the dinner go well? Mr Carson: Er, well enough. But they won't make a match between them, if that's what they're thinking. Mrs Hughes: Lady Mary doesn't like him? Mr Carson: And why should she like the man she's been passed over for? And why has she been? That's what I'd like to know. Mrs Hughes: It's the law. Mr Carson: Well, it's a wicked law. [Carson closes the silver cabinet.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COURTYARD - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Thomas is fixing a clock.] Miss O'Brien: Why does Mr Carson let you do that? Thomas: Because my dad was a clockmaker. Miss O'Brien: Did you really ask him for the job with the Crawleys? Thomas: I'm sick of being a footman. Miss O'Brien: I'd rather be a footman than wait on someone who ought to be a footman himself. Thomas: Well, Mr Carson shouldn't have told Bates. How are things with Lady G? Miss O'Brien: Same as usual. Thomas: "Yes, milady. No, milady. Three bags full"? Miss O'Brien: I'd like to give her three bags full. Preferably on a dark night. Thomas: Will you hand in your notice? Miss O'Brien: And let her ruin me with a nasty reference? Oh, I think not. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE DOWER HOUSE - DAY] Dr Clarkson: I don't want to exaggerate. She's been...very generous in many ways. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Generous? To instruct you in your own practice? Dr Clarkson: Well, she may even have a point. But i--it does not seem to me realistic. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, nor is it. Put an end to her meddling. I am your president and I say, "Get rid of her." Dr Clarkson: Will that not be awkward? I gather she's planning to stay in the village for the foreseeable future. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: No one can foresee the future, Doctor. Not you, not I, and certainly not Mrs Crawley. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON ABBEY, GROUNDS - DAY] Robert, Earl of Grantham: You do not love the place yet. Matthew Crawley: Well, obviously it's-- Robert, Earl of Grantham: No, you don't love it. You see a million bricks that may crumble, a thousand gutters and pipes that may block and leak, and stone that will crack in the frost. Matthew Crawley: But you don't? Robert, Earl of Grantham: I see my life's work. Matthew Crawley: Was it ever in danger? [Robert chuckles.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Many times. It's my dear papa who thought the balloon would go up in the 1880s Matthew Crawley: What saved it? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Cora. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' HALL - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Bates enters to find Anna sitting alone.] Mr Bates: Where is everyone? Anna: They've gone down to the village. Some travelling salesman set up at the pub for the afternoon. Mr Bates: Alone at last. We shouldn't be without both footmen. Does Mr Carson know? Anna: Mrs Hughes does. She's gone with them. They won't be long. Mr Bates: So, you see to the girls and you're supposed to be head housemaid. You should put in for a raise. Anna: What do you mean, "supposed to be"? [The smile and chuckle. The front door bell rings.] Mr Bates: I said they shouldn't have let both footmen go. Anna: Well, you'll have to answer it. Mr Carson wouldn't like a maid answering the front door. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT/INT. FRONT DOOR/OUTER HALL - DAY] Mr Bates: Sorry to have kept you waiting, sir. Charles Grigg: I'm here to see Lord Grantham. Mr Bates: Is he expecting you? Charles Grigg: No. But he'd be very interested in what I have to tell him. Mr Bates: His Lordship is not at home, but if you will leave your name-- Charles Grigg: Ah, ah, ah. Don't go all high and mighty with me. I don't know who you are, but you're certainly not the butler, so don't try and make out you are. Mr Bates: How do you know? Charles Grigg: Because Charlie Carson's the butler 'round here. Mr Bates: Does your business concern him? Charles Grigg: It might do. Mr Bates: Excuse me for one moment, sir. [Bates partially closes the door and enters the house. Anna waits in the entry.] Mr Bates: Fetch Mr Carson as fast as you can. [Anna nods and the stranger walks in uninvited. Bates turns back to Anna.] Mr Bates: Use the front door. [Anna heads outside and the stranger smirks after her.] Mr Bates: If you would like to follow me, sir. Charles Grigg: Oh, no. If you think you're tucking me away somewhere, you've got another thing coming. Mr Bates: You will be more comfortable, sir. Charles Grigg: Sorry, chump. [The stranger waltzes into the library and looks around.] Charles Grigg: Oh, aye. I'll not mind waiting in here. [Sybil enters wearing a riding outfit.] Lady Sybil: Bates...? Mr Bates: This...gentleman is an acquaintance of Mr Carson, milady. Lady Sybil: What is he doing in here? Mr Bates: He says he has urgent business with His Lordship. Charles Grigg: Urgent. Mr Bates: I've sent for Mr Carson to come at once. Lady Sybil: Then I'll stay with you in case explanations are needed. Mr Bates (mouths): Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON ABBEY, GROUNDS - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Anna runs down the road.] Anna: Mr Carson! You're needed at once in the library. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OUTER HALL/LIBRARY - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Robert enters through the open front door to hear the stranger complaining loudly.] Charles Grigg: How long are you expecting me to wait? I'm a very busy man, you know. Mr Bates: If you could just be patient for a little longer, sir. [The stranger sees Robert entering.] Charles Grigg: Ah. Robert, Earl of Grantham: May I ask who this is and precisely what is going on? [Mr Carson and Anna enter.] Mr Carson: Mr Bates, what are you...? Er...I'm sorry, Your Lordship. Mr Bates, you may go now. Robert, Earl of Grantham: No, stay where you are. No one is going anywhere. Do I take it you know this man? Charles Grigg: Don't try and deny it. Mr Carson: No, I won't deny it. I do know him, my lord, but not what he is doing in the library. Mr Bates: I tried to take him downstairs out of sight, Mr Carson, but he wouldn't come. Mr Carson: Thank you, that was thoughtful. Robert, Earl of Grantham: But who is he? [Carson hesitates.] Charles Grigg: Will you tell him or shall I? Mr Carson: His name is Charles Grigg. We worked together at one time. Charles Grigg: Oh, I'm a little more than that, aren't I, Charlie? We're like brothers, him and me. Mr Carson: We are not like brothers. Charles Grigg: We were a double act. On the halls. Robert, Earl of Grantham: You were on the stage? Carson, is this true? Mr Carson: It is, my lord. Charles Grigg: The Cheerful Charlies, that's what they called us. [Carson rolls his eyes while Grigg does a tap dance and hands Robert a flier for their old act.] Charles Grigg: We did quite well, didn't we? Mr Carson: Until you couldn't keep your hands out of the till. Anna: Would you like us to go, Mr Carson? Mr Carson: No. You know it now. You might as well bear witness to my shame. He turned up in the village with no warning some days ago on the run, asking for somewhere to hide and, of course, for money. Robert, Earl of Grantham: God in heaven. Mr Carson: He's wanted for some petty crime of which he is, of course, guilty. Charles Grigg: Hey, steady on. Mr Carson: He threatened to expose my past to make me a laughingstock in this house. And in my vanity and pride, I gave him what he wanted. Charles Grigg (scoffs): You did not. Mr Carson: I put him in an empty cottage and fed him from the kitchens. I couldn't buy food in the village, it would raise too many questions. I stole. I'm a thief. She...saw it. [Carson indicates Anna.] Anna: I'd never have said anything, Mr-- Mr Carson: And now my disgrace is complete. My lord, you have my resignation. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Really, Carson, there's no need to be quite so melodramatic. You're not playing Sydney Carton. [Robert turns to Grigg.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: So, why have you come here, if he has done everything you asked of him? Charles Grigg: Because he hasn't. [Grigg sits down in a chair.] Charles Grigg: He wouldn't give me any money. Mr Carson: If I had, how could I have prevented his returning to Downton once it was spent? [Robert clears his throat.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: My dear Mr Grigg... Charles Grigg: Ah. Nice to see someone 'round here's got some manners. Mr Carson: Hold your tongue! Robert, Earl of Grantham: I'll tell your what is going to happen. When I have given you twenty pounds, you will leave Downton immediately and we will never set eyes on you again. Charles Grigg: I'll have to see about that. Robert, Earl of Grantham: If you return to this area, I will personally ensure your conviction for theft and blackmail. [Grigg springs up from the chair.] Charles Grigg: Just a minute-- Robert, Earl of Grantham: You will serve from five to ten years in His Majesty's custody. [Robert pulls out his wallet.] Charles Grigg: You think you're such a big man, don't you? Just 'cause you're a lord, you think you can do what you like with me. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I think it, because it is true. [Robert holds out the cash and Grigg debates for a moment, then takes the money.] Charles Grigg: You'll not always be in charge, you know. The day is coming when your lot will have to toe the line just like the rest of us. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Perhaps. But happily for Carson, that day has not come yet. [Grigg looks at Carson and stalks off. Anna and Bates follow, but Sybil remains.] Mr Carson: I...take it my resignation has not been accepted? Robert, Earl of Grantham: My dear fellow, we all have chapters we would rather keep unpublished. To be honest, Carson, I'm rather impressed. Did you really sing and dance and everything in front of an audience? [Sybil smiles.] Mr Carson (ashamed): I did. Robert, Earl of Grantham: And do you ever miss it? Mr Carson: Not in the least, my lord. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - DAY] Anna: Poor Mr Carson. We'll have to treat him like a god for a month to calm his nerves. Mr Bates: He'll be afraid this will change the way we think of him. Anna: Then we mustn't let it. Mr Bates: But it will. The Cheerful Charlies? [The laugh.] Mr Bates: For all his talk of dignity, we know his story now. Anna: And admire him more because of it. Mr Bates: Maybe. But it will change the way we think of him. It always does. Anna: I don't see why. I shouldn't care what I found out about you, whatever it was. It wouldn't alter my opinion one bit. Mr Bates: But it would. It certainly would. [SCENE_BREAK] [THE DOWER HOUSE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Violet and Cora sit down to tea.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: We're running out of options. The lawyers I write to only huff and puff. They echo Murray and say, "Nothing can be done." Cora, Countess of Grantham: Well, they don't want the bother of opposing him. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, precisely. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I wish Mary wasn't so confident it could all be put right. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Meanwhile, we have to watch that dreadful woman parade around the village as if she owned it. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I think she means well. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Meaning well is not enough. Poor Dr Clarkson. And what has he done to deserve that termagant? Cora, Countess of Grantham: I think he's in for an uncomfortable afternoon. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Really? Why? Cora, Countess of Grantham: On my way here, I saw her go into the hospital. She looked extremely determined. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Not as determined as I am. [Violet stands up.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON COTTAGE HOSPITAL, OFFICE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Isobel holds a tiny vial.] Isobel Crawley: I have the adrenaline here in my hand. Will you really deny the man his chance of life? Dr Clarkson: I just wish it was a treatment I was more familiar with. Isobel Crawley: Will that serve as your excuse when he dies? [Clarkson stands and takes the vial and goes to the door.] Dr Clarkson: Nurse! [A nurse comes to the door.] Dr Clarkson: Can you prepare Mr Drake for his procedure please? Well, Mrs Crawley, I have a feeling we will sink or swim together. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON COTTAGE HOSPITAL, WARD - DAY] Dr Clarkson: Mr Drake, your heart is not functioning properly and, as a result, your pericardial sac is full of fluid. I am proposing first to withdraw the fluid, and then to inject the adrenaline to stimulate the heart and restore normal activity. Mrs Drake: Is it dangerous, Doctor? Dr Clarkson: The draining may stop the heart, and the adrenaline may not be able to restart it. Isobel Crawley: Mrs Drake, the choice is simple. If your husband endures this procedure, he may live. If not, he will die. Nurse: He's with a patient. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Please, please, no, let me pass. I must see the doctor at once. [Violet steps around the screen. Mrs Drake rises from her chair.] Dr Clarkson: Your Ladyship. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Yes, it's just as I thought. Dr Clarkson, tell me you will not permit this amateur to influence your professional opinion. Isobel Crawley: Amateur? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham (to Mrs Drake): My dear woman, do not let them bully you. They'll not disturb the peace of your husband's last hours, not if I can help it. Mrs Drake: But that's just it, my lady. I don't want them to be his last hours. Not if there's a chance. Please, Doctor, do what you must. [Clarkson steps forward to begin the procedure. A nurse hands him a needle and he attaches it to a draining tube.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: As... [Clarkson and the nurse insert the needle and Mrs Drake turns away. Isobel steps over to comfort her.] Dr Clarkson: Steady. Yeah, all right. Nurse: Yep. Dr Clarkson: Nice and steady. [Clarkson drains the fluid with a syringe attached to the tube.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: As president of this hospital, I feel I must... Dr Clarkson: Valve. [The fluid drains into a glass jar.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: ...tell you I...I shall bring this to the attention of the board. Dr Clarkson: You're doing very well. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Have you no pity? [The draining finishes.] Dr Clarkson: Adrenaline. Quickly, quickly. His heart's stopped. [The nurse hands him the syringe and he attaches it to the needle already inserted in Drake's chest.] Dr Clarkson: Ready? Nurse: Mm-hmm. [Isobel watches intently as she holds Mrs Drake. Clarkson injects the adrenaline and pulls out the needle.] Dr Clarkson: Yes. [Drake wakes and heaves deep breaths. Mrs Drake turns to look and goes to hold and kiss his hand.] Mr Drake: Oh, my dear. [Isobel turns to Violet, who is stunned by what happened.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LIBRARY - DAY] Robert, Earl of Grantham: You don't have to worry. She may be president, but I'm the patron, so you're quite safe with me. Please. [Robert motions for Matthew and Dr Clarkson to enter the library for some refreshments.] Matthew Crawley: My mother was right, then? The man's life was saved? Dr Clarkson: Well, I-- I like to think that we were both right, but I'm not sure Lady Grantham will be so easily convinced. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Then we must strengthen the argument. Cousin Isobel wants something to do. Very well. Let's make her chairman of the board. She'd like that, wouldn't she? Matthew Crawley: Certainly she would. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Then my mother will have to listen to her. [Clarkson is clearly thinking through the consequences of this new arrangement.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: She's been in absolute rule of there for long enough, it's time for some loyal opposition. Dr Clarkson: Well, if you're quite certain, my lord. [Clarkson hesitates.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: What were you going to say? Dr Clarkson: At the risk of being impertinent...on your own head be it. [The men chuckle.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. FRONT WALK - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Thomas fetches Matthew's bicycle as Matthew and Robert exit the house.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: About your scheme for restoring the estate cottages... Matthew Crawley: You don't mind my interfering? Robert, Earl of Grantham: My dear fellow, I brought you here to interfere. In fact, why don't you stay for dinner and we'll talk about it? We'll send down to Molesley for your clothes. Matthew Crawley: I'd better not. My mother's expecting me. But in fact, I've been meaning to speak to you about Molesley. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Oh? Matthew Crawley: Would you find me very ungrateful if I dispensed with his services? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Why? Has he displeased you in some way? Matthew Crawley: Not at all. It's simply that he's superfluous to our style of living. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Is that quite fair? To deprive a man of his livelihood when he's done nothing wrong? Matthew Crawley: Well, I wouldn't quite put it-- Robert, Earl of Grantham: You're mother derives satisfaction from her work at the hospital, I think. Some sense of self-worth. Matthew Crawley: Well, certainly. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Would you really deny the same to poor old Molesley? And when you are master here, is the butler to be dismissed, or the footmen? How many maids or kitchen staff will be allowed to stay? Or must every one be driven out? We all have different parts to play, Matthew, and we must all be allowed to play them. [Robert pats Matthew on the shoulder and walks back to the house.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BALCONY - DAY] Lady Edith: Why must we all go to the hospital? Lady Mary: I'm afraid Papa wants to teach Granny a lesson. Poor Granny. A month ago, these people were strangers. Now she must share her power with the mother and I must marry the son. Lady Edith: You won't marry him, though, will you? Lady Mary: What, marry a sea monster? [They chuckle.] Lady Sybil: You shouldn't laugh, that's so unkind. Lady Edith: But he must marry someone. Lady Mary: Edith, what are you thinking? Lady Edith: You know, I don't dislike him as much as you do. Lady Mary: Perhaps you don't dislike him at all. Lady Edith: Perhaps I don't. Lady Mary: Well, it's nothing to me. I have bigger fish to fry. Lady Sybil: What fish? Lady Edith: Are we talking about E.N.? Lady Mary: How do you know that? Have you been poking around in my things? Lady Edith: Of course not. Lady Sybil: Come on, who is he? It's not fair if you both know. Lady Mary: You won't be any the wiser, but his name is Evelyn Napier. Lady Edith: The Honourable Evelyn Napier, son and heir to Viscount Branksome. Lady Mary: Who wants and old sea monster when they can have Perseus? [They chuckle.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MRS HUGHES'S SITTING ROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Carson knocks on the open door as Mrs Hughes is fastening a broach on her collar.] Mr Carson: If you're going to the ceremony, I thought we might walk together. Mrs Hughes: Certainly I'm going. I want to see the old bat's face when they announce it. I must try not to look too cheerful. Or shouldn't I talk like that in your presence? Mr Carson: Do you find me very ridiculous, Mrs Hughes? Putting on airs and graces I've no right to? Mrs Hughes: What's brought this on? [Carson sighs sadly.] Mr Carson: Nothing. Except at times I wonder if I'm just a sad old fool. Mrs Hughes: Mr Carson, you are a man of integrity and honour who raises the tone of this household by being part of it. So no more of that, please. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [William approaches Daisy nervously as she fixes her dress in the mirror.] William: I wondered i--if you'd like to walk with me down to the hosp-- Daisy: Is Thomas going? William: Well, I-- I think everyone is. Daisy: Sorry, what were you saying? William: Nothing. Doesn't matter. Mrs Patmore: Put this away before you go. [Mrs Patmore hands Daisy a dish] Mrs Patmore: And never mind your flirting. Daisy: I wasn't flirting. Not with him. Mrs Patmore: William's not a bad lad. Daisy: He's nice enough, but...he isn't like Thomas. Mrs Patmore: No, he's not. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE, MATTHEW CRAWLEY'S BEDROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew fixes his tie in the mirror and Molesley opens a box.] Mr Molesley: Cufflinks, sir? Matthew Crawley: Those are a dull option for such an occasion, don't you agree? Mr Molesley: Might I suggest the crest pair, sir? They seem more appropriate, if you don't mind my saying. [Molesley opens another box.] Matthew Crawley: Hm. [Matthew picks one up with a bemused expression.] Matthew Crawley: They're a bit fiddly, I wonder if you could help me? Mr Molesley (surprised): Certainly, sir. [Matthew allows Molesley to fasten his cufflinks. He looks at his coat and then back to Molesley. Molesley takes the hint and fetches it, then helps Matthew into the jacket.] Matthew Crawley: Oh, I see you got that mark out of the sleeve. How'd you do it? Mr Molesley: I--I tried it with this and tried it with that until it yielded. Matthew Crawley: Very well done. Mr Molesley: Thank you, sir. [Matthew lets Molesley brush down his coat.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE VILLAGE - DAY] Mr Carson: Y--you go in, Mrs Hughes. I want a quick word with Mr Bates here. Mr Bates? [Carson clears his throat at the others file into the hospital yard.] Mr Carson: Erm...I must thank you, both for what you did and for keeping silent afterwards. It was kind of you and Anna. Mr Bates: It was nothing, Mr Carson. Mr Carson: I hope you don't judge me too harshly. Mr Bates: I don't judge you at all. I have no right to judge you or any man. [They exchange kind smiles.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON COTTAGE HOSPITAL - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr and Mrs Bates are in the audience. They all rise when Dr Clarkson enters with Violet and Isobel, then sit when the ladies do.] Dr Clarkson: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this happy event: the investiture of our first chairwoman, Mrs Reginald Crawley, who has graciously agreed to share the duties of our beloved president, the Dowager Countess of Grantham. [Violet is clearly not pleased by the power play.] Dr Clarkson: Our little hospital must surely grow and thrive with two such doughty champions united as they are by the strongest ties of all, family and friendship. [Violet and Isobel sense the heavy irony.]	Plan: A: September 1912; Q: When did Matthew Crawley and his mother Isobel move into Crawley House? A: Downton Abbey; Q: Where do Violet and Lady Mary openly hostility towards Matthew and his mother? A: Mary; Q: Who is opposed to Matthew marrying her? A: The families; Q: What experience some culture clash due to their differing backgrounds? A: a nurse; Q: What was Isobel's profession during the Anglo-Boer War? A: the local hospital; Q: What does Isobel Crawley occupy herself with? A: Carson; Q: Who is being blackmailed by Charles Grigg? A: a former music-hall performer; Q: What is Carson's background? A: Lord Grantham; Q: Who pays off Grigg? A: Carson's background; Q: What does Lord Grantham find amusing about Carson? A: The hostility; Q: What escalates between Mrs Crawley and the Dowager Countess? A: Dr. Clarkson; Q: Who did Isobel pressure to perform pericardiocentesis on a patient suffering from dropsy? A: Mrs Crawley chairman; Q: Who did Robert make chairman of the hospital board? A: the possibility; Q: What does Violet consider about Mary marrying Matthew? Summary: September 1912. Matthew Crawley and his mother Isobel move into Crawley House in Downton village. When they visit Downton Abbey, Violet and Lady Mary are openly hostile towards them. The families experience some culture clash due to their differing backgrounds. Isobel had trained as a nurse during the Anglo-Boer War , and occupies herself with the local hospital. Meanwhile, Carson is a former music-hall performer and is being blackmailed by his old show partner, Charles Grigg. Lord Grantham is amused by Carson's background and pays off Grigg. The hostility between Mrs Crawley and the Dowager Countess escalates when Isobel pressures Dr. Clarkson to perform pericardiocentesis on a patient suffering from dropsy . Violet tries to prevent this but the treatment is successful and Robert makes Mrs Crawley chairman of the hospital board. Violet begins to consider the possibility of Mary marrying Matthew, but Mary is opposed.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Lindsey is about to light the Scroll of Aberjian on fire and Angel throws the scythe and cuts off Lindsey's hand before the scroll can catch on fire. (From "To Shanshu In LA") Lilah in Holland's wine cellar: "For god's sake help us." Holland: "People are going to die." Angel closing the door: "I just can't seem to care." Cut's of the pile of corpses littering the floor of the wine cellar and of Darla biting Holland. ("Reunion") Lindsey: "Holland Manners is dead." Angel leaning against the hood of a dirty car, smoking a cigarette. Darla: "Angel?" Angel throws down the cigarette butt, lighting a trail of gasoline leading to the puddle of it that Darla and Dru are standing in. Darla and Dru scream as they catch fire. Angel picks up his bag and walks out. Darla knocks the top off the fire hydrant with a sledgehammer and the vamp girls let the water put out their burning clothes and skin. ("Redefinition") Wesley: "What you did..." Cordy: "...was wrong." Gunn: "You went to far." Wesley: "Right now the three of us are all that's standing between you and real darkness." Angel: "You're all fired." ("Reunion") Cordy's apartment, night. Close on Wesley: "You think I don't have what it takes?" Close on Gunn, staring back: "I know you don't have what it takes." Wesley: "I guess we'll just have to find out." They straighten up slowly, never taking their eyes off each other. Gunn glances down at Wesley's right hand. Gunn: "Go on, English, make your move - because it'll be your last." Both Wesley and Gunn raise their right fists, blow into them, then, simultaneously, cast their dice on the table on which we see a game board set up between them. Wesley slumps in defeat. Gunn doing a little dance: "And now I rule Europe, Australia and South America!" Wesley: "I still got Kamchakta." Gunn: "Three fifths of the world covered in water, the rest covered in me!" Wesley: "Shut up." Gunn: "Who's your ruler, baby? What's my name? Come on, English, say it: Gunn." Cordy comes in, wearing a house robe. Cordy: "Fun as it is having you guys over day and night, it's getting kind of late." Wesley: "It's only seven thirty." Cordy: "Really? Oh. In that case: get out!" Wesley and Gunn exchange a glance. Wesley: "What if you have a vision?" Cordy: "I'll call you." Gunn: "What if Angel..." Cordy and Wesley turn to look at him. Cordy: "I thought we weren't going to say the 'A' word." Gunn: "Yeah, let's not say the 'A' word. Lets just spend our lives sitting around waiting for him to call." Wesley: "We're not waiting for him to call. The man fired us. We're on our own now. Separate unit. Fighting the good fight." Gunn: "Yeah, right! With no plan, or office, or business cards of our own." Wesley quietly: "He's not going to call, is he? (Gunn shakes his head) Right. I tell you the first thing we're scrapping. (Holds up one of Angel Investigations Business cards) These stupid calling cards." Cordy: "They're not stupid. I designed them. That's an Angel!" Wesley: "The universal symbol of the one thing we don't have." Gunn takes the card and looks at it. Gunn: "That's a Angel? Looks like a - a lobster with a - growth or... We'll make our own logo." Wesley: "Yes. Something sleek, but edgy." Gunn: "Something that says: you need help, we're there." Wesley: "Exactly. Danger is our business. (Cordy put a hand to her forehead and begins to stagger) We'll catch you when you fall." Cordy falls downs down in throws of a vision and the guys don't even notice. Gunn: "Uh, I like that!" Cordy from the floor: "Guys..." Wesley and Gunn rush over to her. Wesley: "Easy. Breathe... breathe..." Gunn: "What is it? What you're getting." Cordy breathing hard: "It - it has two heads. And it breathes fire. - It's gigantic. (The guys help her up) And it's rising up in the sewers, beneath Kenyard School for Girls." The guys rush out the door. Cordy calls after them: "You shouldn't go alone!" Angel is walking down a sidewalk in a residential neighborhood at night. Bumps into a blonde girl, carrying a big box coming the other way and knocks the box out of her hands, spilling clothes onto the ground. Angel: "Oh, jeez..." Anne: "Oh!" Angel starts to gather up the clothes: "I'm sorry." Anne, putting down her purse, starts to help: "No, it was me. I didn't hurt you, did I?" Angel, putting clothes back in the box, looks at her: "Fine." Anne: "I just... I couldn't see over the box. I was rushing. I'm late for work." Angel holds up a cloth with big bright spots on it: "You do clown work?" Anne laughs: "No. Just some old clothes that got donated. Angel: "East Hills Teen Center." Anne stares at him. Angel: "It's on the box." Anne looks at the box: "Oh. Right." Angel straightens, holding the box. Angel: "You missed one." Anne picking it up: "Thanks. (Sees her purse on the ground) Oh. Oops. Hold on. (Picks it up, then accepts the box form Angel) Okay. I think I'm good. I'm really sorry." Angel: "No problem." Anne: "They're for the kids. We close in a couple of hours and there is always a feeding frenzy when a new batch comes in." Angel: "You work with runaways?" Anne: "Some of them. Some are from around here, just don't have anywhere to go. We, um, give 'em food, clothes, somewhere to stay if they need it." Angel: "That's good... It's good that someone's... It's - it's good to do." Angel gives her a slight smile. Anne: "Well, I'm late." Angel: "Right." Anne turns to go with a smile: "See you around." Angel: "Uh-huh." Angel enters his apartment. Takes a wallet out of his jacket pocket and drops it on the table - open to reveal a drivers license with a picture of the girl he just bumped into. Angel looks from the drivers license up to a collection of photographs off Anne in different places and with different people until his eyes come to rest on one of her and Lindsey. Intro Wesley and Gunn, each carrying an ax, creep along a sewer tunnel. Gunn: "So it's big." Wesley: "Big." Gunn: "And fire breathing." Wesley: "Breathing." Gunn: "Big, two-headed, fire-breathing..." Wesley: "I think we all have the picture, Gunn. It's not a teddy bear and it probably shouldn't be attending the Kenyard School for Girls." Gunn: "You know, right about now I wouldn't mind..." Wesley: "Don't say it! We don't have him and it's not going to do any good wishing we did!" Gunn: "I was gonna say some dynamite." Wesley: "Oh. - Dynamite. - Maybe it's not to late to go back and..." There is a deep, low roar. Wesley and Gunn look at each other than inch towards the end of the tunnel and lean forward to look around it. Their eyes track upwards as their mouths slowly drop open. They pull back and look at each other. Wesley: "Oh god." Gunn: "The tunnel is almost twenty feet tall. It was crouching." Wesley swallows: "Uh, well. We'll take another look and then we'll..." Gunn: "...die!" The lean forward to take another look and Gunn gets ready to charge, but Wesley holds him back. Wesley: "No, no, wait. Wait. Wait until its back is turned. - Now!" They jump out into the main tunnel only to flinch back from a jet of flame. Wesley waves a hand in front of his face. Gunn: "I thought she said he breathed fire!" Both of them charge out of the tunnel with a loud battle cry. Merl gets ready to leave his lair when the door slams into his face to reveal Angel standing there. Angel: "Evening, Merl." Merl: "What do you want, man? I ain't inviting you in." Angel steps over the threshold: "Demon lairs. No invitation necessary." Merl: "Yeah, but it's polite..." Angel: "Are you avoiding me, Merl? (Merl shakes his head once) I ask you for a favor and you're avoiding me. - That's impolite." Merl: "Well, nearly drowning me and leaving me hanging in the sewer ain't exactly Emily Post either." Angel: "Okay. So we're both rude. You know what? I can live with that. Now, do you have the information I need, or do I have to see what the inside of your head looks like?" Merl: "Fine! (Sits down) Um, I check out the girl. She's clean. Changed her name a couple of times, but no record." Angel: "What's her connection to Wolfram and Hart?" Merl: "Easy. She runs a shelter over on Crenshaw. Couple of months ago, they almost lost the lease on the place. Wolfram and Hart step in and clear it all up pro bono, and there you go." Angel: "But she's still working for them." Merl: "Well, you know so much, what do you need me for, huh? Come to think of it, why do you need me? What happened to that hot chick that was working for you?" Angel: "Pro bono. There's got to be an angle." Merl: "There always is. But as far as I can tell - the shelter itself is strictly legit." Angel turns to go: "Okay." Merl: "Hey! Hey, what about my hundred bucks!" Angel: "You know what? I'll owe you. (Looks around the place) Just make sure you use it for some new furniture. - Bean bag chairs? (Shakes his head) Merl." East Hills Teen Shelter, night. Girl: "What am I supposed to do? He's gonna want to come in." Anne: "Then you tell him no! Benny knows the rules. He's not coming in here drunk. You turn him out. Don't even listen to him." The girl leaves and Anne notices Angel standing a little ways away, holding a brown paper bag. Anne smiling: "Hey! Guy I ran over." Angel: "Hey. Girl who ran over me." Anne: "You can call me Anne. It's shorter." They shake hands. Angel: "Angel. Um, I brought some... I don't know if they're any good." Anne takes the bag: "That's great! Uh, we can take them over here. (They walk over to a table) Whoa. Now lets see. What have you got? (Pulls out a flowered blouse) Well, that's - not what I expected. What's the matter, it doesn't fit you anymore?" Angel: "Cuts me across the bust. A friend - left her clothes at my place. I won't be seeing her anytime soon, so I figured..." Anne: "Girlfriend?" Angel: "God, no. (Anne gives him a look) Uh, I mean just..." Anne: "Well, I really appreciate... we really appreciate this. Every little bit helps, you know?" Angel: "I just wish I could do more." Anne: "Well, if you're - not in a hurry. You up for a tour?" Anne steps into her office: "And here is the vibrant nerve center of our massive corporation." Angel: "Wow. It's uh..." Anne: "Small. But I'm hardly ever in here." Angel looks over at a cot: "You just come in for naps?" Anne: "Oh, the bed... No, it's just sometimes I'm here so late it's just easier than going home. - So, what do you think?" Angel: "Amazing. - You said it runs on donations?" Anne: "Every last penny." Angel: "Got to be tough - trying to stay ahead." Anne: "It is. Thankfully we have a guardian angel." Angel: "Guardian angel?" Anne: "Wolfram and Hart. Uh, it's a law firm. They've been a godsend in the last couple of months. Bailed us out of an eviction, defended a couple of our kids." Angel: "They sound like saints." Anne: "As far as I'm concerned. They're the ones that came up with the idea for the big hold up." Angel: "Hold up?" Anne: "Charity ball. It's a fundraiser for the center. Big TV-celebrities go around and pretend to rob the guests of their donations. Wild West theme. It's gonna be big." Angel: "And Wolfram and Hart's picking up the tab." Anne: "They're donating everything, from the music to the food - plus they have connections to all the TV stars." Angel: "That's not surprising." Anne: "It's good for their image, I guess. And it's a pretty dorky theme - but hey, whatever it takes, right?" Angel: "Right." Merl gets ready to leave his lair and the door slams into his face, knocking him down, as a big blue demon steps in. Merl: "Does anybody knock?" Boone: "You Merl?" Merl takes in his visitor: "Ah, Merl? Um... Merl who? Ah, the name's Ed, uh, Silverman?" Boone: "You're Angel's lackey." Merl: "No. No, I'm not... (Boone steps on Merl's hand) Ow! Independent contractor. Independent contractor!" Boone: "And what do you do for him?" Merl: "Ouch! Pictures! Ow! I-I take..." Boone: "Pictures." Boone steps off Merl's hand. Merl inspects his hand: "Ow. Surveillance, you know? Pick up dirt. Check people out for him. Not that he appreciates it. - Who the hell are you anyway? IRS?" Boone: "Angel and I have a history. An unfinished history." Merl: "Yeah? That's nice. What, did you guys go to college together?" Boone: "These people you check out. Who are they? - Friends? Enemies? - What does Angel care about?" Merl: "I ah, I - I don't know. Last thing he had me do was follow some chick. Did charity work." Boone: "Why?" Merl gets up: "Well, between you and me - ain't abou the girl. It's Wolfram and Hart." Boone: "What's a Wolfram and Hart?" Merl: "A law firm, technically. Uh, more like, uh - Evil Incorporated. -You know lately, Angel, he's been gunning for them. Especially these two lawyers." Boone grabs Merl by the throat, choking him: "Tell me about the lawyers." Lilah is walking towards her car in the parking garage. Unlocks it with the remote button on her key chain and gets in. Starts the car and adjusts the rearview mirror, then turns around to back out of her parking space only to find Angel sitting in the back seat. Jumps, and gasps with shock. Angel: "Lilah. - I just had to drop by and congratulate you on your big promotion. Co-vice-president Special Projects. - Wow. That's super. You deserve it. Yeah. That - and so much more." Lilah: "Angel..." Angel: "But you know what the real special part is? To think that maybe, in my small way, I helped make it happen for you. (Smiles) That makes me feel all good inside." Lilah tires to open her door, but Angel's hand shoots out and stops her. Lilah: "Angel - I can assure you, now that Lindsey and I are in a - position to affect policy, things'll change." Angel: "Change? (Lilah nods) Well, yeah! Because I get it now." Lilah: "It?" Angel: "The game. - It's actually kind of fun when you know the rules. I mean, when you know - that there aren't any. (Taps her shoulder with his finger) You screw with me, and you screw with me, and... you screw with me. And now - I get to screw with you." Lilah: "Uh..." Angel: "That's gonna be great!" Lilah: "Angel, please..." Angel leans in real close: "No. No. No. No. The begging - that comes later." Lilah closes her eyes and swallows and Angel is suddenly gone. Wolfram and Hart, day, Lindsey's office. Lilah pacing: "He was in my car." Lindsey sitting on his desk: "And yet here you are. Still alive. - He was just trying to spook you." Lilah: "Yeah, well, it worked." Lindsey: "Relax. He doesn't kill humans, at least - not with his own hands." Lilah: "He's not playing by the old rules any more." Intercom: "Mr. McDonald? Your ten o'clock is here." Lindsey pushes a button: "I don't have a ten o'clock." Intercom: "I'm not gonna tell him that." Lindsey gets up with a sigh and goes to open the door. Lindsey: "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm all..." Boone walks in: "Shut the door." Lindsey repeats quietly to himself 'Shut the door' as he shuts it. Lindsey: "Why don't you come in, Mr..." Boone: "Call me Boone. (To Lilah) Are you the - better half of this team?" Lilah with a smile: "I like to think so. We run the Special Projects division. Did you have a special project?" Boone: "More like a grudge - with a fellow named - Angel." Break. Boone: "I've known Angel since Juarez in the twenties. We had a little disagreement over a senorita. I called him out. We fought for three and a half hours." Lindsey: "Obviously both of you survived." Boone: "Well, I'd been working on a three day drunk at the time. I wasn't at my peak." Lilah: "How did it end?" Boone: "The sun came up - I let him go." Lilah: "You let him go. - Why?" Boone: "The sun came up. - Would have been too easy? - You people know anything about honor? - Anyway, life is long, when you're eternal. Always knew I'd cross his path again. And low and behold, I'm in a Karaoke bar downtown when I get wind of this lizard demon, Merl, who sometimes does favors for the vampire with a soul. I find Merl - and he tells me - that Angel's planning on bringing you two down." Lindsey: "Did he happen to mention how?" Boone: "Don't know. Don't care. All I do know is, when Angel come for you, he's gonna find me instead." Lindsey: "I like it. I like it and I'll tell you why: because of the finding you instead part. How much do you charge?" Boone: "This isn't about money. This is about knowing." Lilah: "Knowing what?" Boone: "Who's better. Him - or me." Lilah: "If you're talking about killing Angel, I'm afraid we can't help you." Lindsey: "Mr. Boone, would you excuse me and my associate for a moment, please?" Boone: "Of course." Lindsey: "Thank you." Lindsey leads Lilah into another room. Lindsey: "I'm using my discretionary fund. Bring him on board." Lilah: "Aren't you forgetting something? The senior partners want Angel alive." Lindsey: "So?" Lilah: "So - what if this guy is actually as good as he says and actually kills Angel?" Lindsey: "Boo-hoo! Let me wipe away the tears with my plastic hand!" Lilah: "Hey, Napoleon, we are Co vice-presidents. This plan of yours explodes and we both end up in tiny pieces." Lindsey: "Want Angel hitching another ride in your back seat? So to speak. Beside, if he's not gonna play by the old rules, why should we?" Lindsey leaves Lilah standing and walks back into his main office. Gunn and Wesley are sitting next to Cordy on her couch. Wesley: "It's the biggest thing you've ever seen." Gunn: "And me and English here are just getting stomped, just ducking flames." Wesley: "It hurls me into the outflow drain..." Gunn: "And then you come crawling back, stinking, screaming curses. The mouth on this boy!" Wesley: "And Gunn hits him form behind, yelling 'look at us when we kill you!' and both its heads turn..." Gunn gets up and makes a swinging motion: "Then 'shronk!' Wes buries his ax in the head number one." Wesley: "And Gunn is running him through, pulling out intestines the size of your leg!" Gunn high fives Wes: "We turned him inside out!" They laugh. Cordy: "You weren't scared?" Wesley: "Oh, mother in heaven." Gunn: "Pants wetting, praising the lord to save me kind of scared. All right?" Cordy smiles: "But you did it." Gunn: "No. We did it. (Picks up some cans and hands each of them one) All of us." Wesley raises his drink: "All of us together." Gunn proposing a toast: "To us." They clink their cans together. Wesley: "To us." Cordy: "To us." They drink. Cordy: "Um, I did something. I hope you guys don't mind. - I started looking for an office, you know, for our new agency." Wesley smiling: "Our new agency?" Gunn clinking cans: "Our new agency." Cordy: "There is this little place, not that far from here? It's not much, but..." Gunn: "So why we're still here?" Wesley: "Lets go!" They all get up Gunn: "Our new agency." Wesley: "Wyndham-Price Agency." Cordy and Gunn: "The what?" Wesley: "You don't like it? - It's classy." Cordy: "It's stuffy. - The Chase Agency! That has the right ring." Wesley: "Why?" Cordy: "Because it's my name." Gunn: "Uh, Wes, Ms. Chase, alright, there is only one player here with a name that strikes dread in the demon heart." Points at himself. Cordy: "Gunn?" Gunn: "Uh-huh." Cordy: "Oh, yeah, that is so original. (Starts to dance and sing) I got a gun and my name is Gunn..." Starts to laugh. Wesley: "Wyndham-Price is everything you need to..." Cordy and Gunn: "Shut up!" Angel looks at the pictures of Anne and Lindsey then at her drivers license (Anne Steele -5632 Willoughby Ave - Los Angles CA 98881 - sx: F - Hair: BLM - Ht: 5-88 - Wt: 118 - Rstr: none). Sighs and takes down the pictures. Merl enters his lair carrying takeout Chinese food. He is grabbed and pushed headfirst against the wall. Merl: "Jeez, you got to be kidding me! Swear I didn't rat on you, Angel. I said nothing to that guy! (Gets slammed against the wall again) Ow!" Lilah: "Shut up, Merl." The W&H flunky holding Merl pulls him around to face Lilah and lets go of him. Merl: "Well, jeez. Does everyone know where I live? - Got to get myself a new lair." Lilah: "Merl? Lilah. Now that we're past the pleasantries, we've heard you do favors for Angel. We'd like to know what those favors are." Merl: "hey, I don't go selling out one of my pals. How much you're gonna pay?" Lilah: "I think you'll find our offer (One of the flunkies hits Merl in the nose) competitive." Merl: "Ow. I would have taken a credit card." Lilah: "Merl." The flunky threatens to hit Merl again. Merl: "Okay, okay, okay. Down Fluffy! Jeez. - Last couple of days I've been following this girl." Lilah: "What girl?" Anne sits at her desk at the shelter writing in a book. Hears a sound and goes to investigate it. Anne: "Hello? - Is anybody out here?" Angel: "Anne." Anne: "You startled me. What are you doing here?" Angel: "I have to talk to you." Anne: "Oh boy. You're not - stalking me, are you?" Angel: "Actually, I am." Anne: "Excuse me?" Angel pulls the pictures out of a manila envelope and drops them onto the little table between them. Angel: "These are pictures - I've taken of you. Surveillance photos. (Anne looks down at a picture of her and Lindsey) This is your wallet. I stole it when we 'accidentally' ran into each other last night. (Drops it on the table) Wasn't an accident." Anne: "I'm calling the police." Angel: "Wait. I'm not gonna hurt you. I just couldn't stand lying to you anymore." Anne: "Lying about what? That you're a psycho?" Angel: "I've been following you, that's true. But not for the reasons you think." Anne: "There is a good reason?" Angel: "Wolfram and Hart. They're not saints, Anne. They don't care about you or your shelter." Anne: "You're following me because..." Angel: "I checked it out. They'll use your charity for good publicity. Offer to throw you a big fund raiser, money starts rolling in... but wait! You're not the one counting it. So who knows how much they're keeping back right from the start. Next they'll give you a list of expenses, all very proper and necessary, but what do you know? After a certain number of miscellaneous, untraceable fees, you're left with five percent, tops." Anne: "You follow me. Take my pictures. Steal my wallet. - What makes you think I'll believe anything you say?" Angel: "Wolfram and Hart are not what they say they are. They show the world one face but it's not the truth. - I can prove it. Everything they say is a lie." Anne: "Guess you have something in common, huh?" Lindsey walks into the shelter. Anne: "Lindsey!" Lindsey: "Are you alright?" Anne: "Fine. I..." Lindsey: "He didn't hurt you, did he? (Comes to stand next to Anne) Believe me, if I'd known this man was in contact with you, I'd come sooner. (Faces Angel with a smile) I'm just thankful that I got here in time." Angel smiles back: "Little over the top. Maybe if you worked on that look of concern." Lindsey aside to Anne: "He's unbalanced. Very dangerous." Angel takes a step closer to Lindsey: "You haven't seen anything yet." Lindsey: "Neither have you." The door opens again and Angel looks over his shoulder to see Boone. Boone: "It's been a long time." Lindsey to Anne: "I brought some protection." Angel: "Boone. Working for Wolfram and Hart. I thought you had integrity." Boone: "I do. Here's fair warning." Boone stretches his hands down and a metal coil wraps itself around them, then jumps at Angel. Angel ducks, and hits then kicks Boone as he gets back up. Boone hits Angel in the stomach then the back dropping him to the ground, then throws him across the room. Anne and Lindsey watch as they continue to fight. Boone seems at least as strong and as fast as Angel and after some more fighting Angel runs out of the shelter. Lindsey intercepts Boone as he tries to follow. Lindsey: "Wait." Boone: "He's getting away!" Lindsey: "That's fine as long as he's not threatening my client. (Then adds in a whisper) Soon. But not here. (Regular voice) Go out to the car. I'll meet you there. I don't think he's gonna be back tonight." Boone stalks out and Lindsey turns to Anne. Lindsey: "It's okay. Angel's gone. You're safe." Anne looks from Lindsey to the door Boone just left through then back at Lindsey. Break [SCENE_BREAK] Anne: "That - guy who beat up Angel, he wasn't human." Lindsey: "No. You see, Anne, there is a different world..." Anne: "Lindsey, I'm not naïve." Lindsey: "Oh. Well, Angel's not human either. He's a vampire. He's a sick, deranged..." Anne: "He says you're planning to steal most of the money from the fund raiser." Lindsey: "Well, he's lying. - I mean, there are - expenses... You know how this works, with any charity event, especially one this big. But we don't steal." Anne: "He says he has proof." Lindsey after a beat: "He's lying about that, too. I mean, who're you gonna trust, Anne? You're gonna trust a mentally unstable vampire? Or you're gonna trust people that have worked night and day to put this fundraiser together for your kids? (Anne shifts but doesn't say anything) I would hate to see them lose out because you made the wrong decision." Anne: "So he doesn't have proof." Lindsey after a beat: "He can't have proof." Lilah and Lindsey are walking down the sidewalk together at night. Lilah: "He's got proof?" Lindsey: "Maybe." Lilah: "That's what she said. Angel's got proof." Lindsey: "Everything is gonna be okay." Lilah: "Sure it is. I mean, all we did was to oversee a scheme to steal two million dollars from a teen homeless shelter. How did this happen?" Lindsey: "If he's got proof it came from you." Lilah: "Me?!" Lindsey: "Yeah, you. You opened your mouth to someone, and now he's got it on tape, probably." Lilah: "No, you're the one with the sporadic professional death wish. How do I know you're not on one of your Kamikaze missions, with me as your co-pilot." Lindsey: "Because the only person I ever talked to about it was you. Always in my office, which is swept for bugs three times a day! I never discussed stealing the money in public." Lilah folds her arms and looks around. There are people walking by. Lilah: "Until now. - He's got us. The bstrd just got us on tape. What's he gonna do with it?" Lindsey: "What do you think? He's gonna use it to humiliate us." Lilah: "The news. He's gonna send it to the news, isn't he? National coverage..." Lindsey: "No. It's not personal enough for him." Lilah: "What? What's he..." Lindsey: "He's got to be there." Lilah: "What? Why?" Lindsey: "To see us swing, that's why - with the bosses there watching. (Pulls out his cell phone) It's me. I want security at the charity ball doubled and I want you to make sure there's a vampire detector there." Anne is sorting stuff in her office when Angel slowly walks in. Anne: "I sort of thought you'd show up again." Angel: "You alright?" Anne: "I didn't have a big monster pounding my face into the floor, so I figure I'm better than you." Angel: "What did Lindsey say about me?" Anne continuing to fold clothes: "That you were a bad man." Angel: "Bad man." Anne: "A psychotic vampire who cut of his hand, harassed his firm and - is borderline schizophrenic. - I was giving you the short version." Angel: "Do you believe that?" Anne: "Well, I'd say for sure you're a vampire. Human being would be in the hospital, the beating you took." Angel: "And that doesn't frighten you." Anne: "A few years ago it would have been a big turn on. I thought vampires were the coolest." Angel: "What happened?" Anne: "I met one." Angel: "You're not afraid of me." Anne: "Well, I've seen worse things since. A fourteen-year-old girl sitting in her own blood after a rough trick and dozens of people just walking right by, so no, vampires, demons, even lawyers pretty much don't impress me. Maybe you had a good reason for cutting off Lindsey's hand. I don't care. - I care about the shelter. If an evil law firm is gonna help me raise two million dollars..." Angel: "Of which you'll probably see only five percent of." Anne: "Yeah, well, I did the math. Five percent of two million is a hundred thousand dollars. That's more money than this shelter could raise in two years." Angel: "What about the other ninety five percent? You don't care where that's going, who that could be hurting?" Anne after a beat: "I can't." Angel: "There is blood on that money, Anne. Are you the person who can ignore that? Have you become that yet? I don't think you have." Anne: "You don't know what it takes to run a shelter..." Angel: "Help me. Get me into the party. (Pulls out 8mm video tape) I put this on, the world sees a whole new side of Wolfram and Hart." Anne: "Why should I?" Angel: "Because it's right. In the long run, it's better." Anne: "Most of my kids don't have a long run. - No. I'm saying no." Wolfram and Hart's Highway Robbery Ball. Holland Manners is up on a big screen, wearing a shirt, but no tie and a knit cardigan over it, sitting on a park bench. Holland: "The world can be a dangerous place, especially for our most vulnerable citizens, our children. (Pets the collie sitting at his feet then gets up) Far away from home with little money and even less hope, too many runaways find themselves on the streets, over their heads and under societies radar." Anne looks around then sips from the fluted glass in her hand. Holland up on the screen comes up next to a disheveled kid sitting on another park bench. Holland: "But there is a place, right here in Los Angeles that can help these troubled kids - the East Hills Teen Center. (Holds out a hand to the kid and helps it up) It's a terrific refuge that we at Wolfram and Hart support one hundred percent." A bald guy wearing thick rimmed glasses walks up to Lilah. Nathan: "Lilah." Lilah: "Good evening, sir." Nathan: "Things progressing nicely?" Lilah: "Well, it's a pretty simple formula. Rich people pay to touch famous people. Cameras catch all the not quite prostitutional action. Pretty profitable and it all goes into the public consciousness as a good deed courtesy of Wolfram and Hart. It's really true - charity gives you this - warm glow, you know? (Sees Anne and beckons to her) Anne. I'd like you to meet one of my bosses at Wolfram and Hart, Nathan Reed. Mister Reed this is Anne." Nathan shakes Anne's hand: "So this is the young woman whose dedication and hard work brings us together tonight." Anne: "Well, I - try to help - where I can. Thank you for everything, sir." Nathan: "I like to think of my job as underlining the 'heart' in Wolfram and Hart." Lilah: "Remember, save some time for interviews tonight. Now, whether you like it or not, you are the public face of this charity." Nathan: "And what a face it is." Lilah: "Yes. Never underestimate the power of positive publicity." Lindsey is checking with the security guys up on the second level. Lindsey: "He stays up here. Are we forgetting anything?" Guard: "No, sir. My men are stationed at every possible entry point everyone is in constant radio contact. (Behind them a dark robbed vampire detector looks up, showing his pale face) And if this vampire of yours gets within a hundred feet, Zorn will let us know." Lindsey: "The moment he senses anything you alert Boone." Holland on the screen now in suit and tie standing in front of his desk: "Can we really change the world? At Wolfram and Hart - we're counting on it." As the applause comes up Holland's name and 1951 - 2000 are superimposed over his smiling image. Lilah on the podium and on screen (transmitted from one of the many cameramen circulating in the crowd): "Holland Manners is gone, but I feel he's looking down on us tonight. Don't you feel it? The truth is, Holland had a vision of the future most of us can't imagine. Let's make it come true, together." Applause. Lilah: "Now lets get started, but not with a plea for money. No, no. No, we're not here to ask you for money, we're here to take at gunpoint. (Laughter) Please welcome our celebrity bandits, from the hit show 'Life Lessons' Serena Tate, Holden Rayne, C.J. McCard, and Jordan Johns!" Applause as the celebrity bandits rush into the crowd, wielding guns and carpet bags to collect the donations. A cowboy, with a scantily clad saloon girl with a carpetbag beside him, puts his gun against the chest of a guy in a tux. Cowboy: "Hellooo, that's some pretty nice duds there, fello'. What you say we see some of that cash you got stowed in them silk pockets?" Jenkins: "Hey, hey, cowboy, don't hurt me now!" Smiles at his date as he pulls out a brown envelope with "Highway Robbery Ball - Donor: Mr. And Mrs. Jenkins - Gift amount: $ 25,000 cash" written on it and drops it into the bag. Jenkins: "My daughter from my first marriage, she is a huge fan of your show." Cowboy: "Yeee-haw." A security guard strolls through the crowd listening to others report that everything is clear in their area. A Blonde is undoing her necklace while talking to one of the stars. Woman: "Serena, I have to know, this thing with making your character gay, (Drops the necklace into her husbands fundraiser envelope) is that like all about ratings? Because I don't get it." The stars drop the full bags off at a table were some W&H employees are taking out the envelopes while Lindsey and Lilah watch. Guard to Lindsey: "No sign of your friend yet." The camera pans up to the robed and hooded vampire detector. He pulls back his hood to reveal that it's Angel. Angel takes off the robe and turns to find himself face to face with Boone. Boone: "Angel. I was afraid you weren't going to show. You are* ready to finish this." Break The employees at the table are putting the cash they removed from the envelopes into one bag. Lilah: "Once again I'd like to thank our wonderful stars from 'Life Lessons' for giving so generously of their time." Applause sounds as the stars smile and wave. Cowboy to Serena: "I'm going to kill my agent." Lilah: "And to you, our benefactors, let me just say that we really can change the world. With your support we can make it a safer place for all our children." Applause, which gives way to talk as everyone's attention is drawn to Angel and Boone fighting on the open upper level. Screams ring out, as Boone and Angel topple over the low wall and land a little ways beside the table with the money. Cowboy to Serena: "What, they're doing stunts now? (Looks at his watch) It's gonna take forever!" Angel and Boone continue their fight where they landed and Boone sends Angel sliding over the table with the cash, knocking some of it off. Serena looking at Boone: "I'm not buying the makeup." Two guards grab a hold of Angel as he gets back up and Lindsey starts to pat him down. Lindsey: "Did you really think we weren't gonna be ready for you? Where is the tape? (Can't feel it in any of Angel's pockets) Where is it? Where is the tape." Boone pats Lindsey's arm as he comes to stand next to Angel: "He doesn't have it. (To Angel) Are you okay? I tried to cushion the fall." Angel shrugs his jacket straight: "I'll be fine." Lindsey: "What the hell are you talking about?" Angel to Boone: "Thanks for getting me in. (To Lindsey) This place is like a fortress." Lilah: "What's going on?" Lindsey: "They're in it together." Angel: "Me, I'm just here for the show." Angel turns to look at the screen. Lilah: "The tape. The tape. She's got the tape." Anne is walking towards the video equipment, pulling a 8mm video tape out of her purse. Lindsey and Lilah start to push their way through the crowd, for all to see up on the big screen thanks to a diligent cameraman capturing all the action. Lilah: "Excuse me!" Anne inserts the tape and we see a pair of black shoes walking up on the big screen and hear Wesley's voice. Wesley: "How do you turn this thing on?" Lindsey and Lilah stop dead, watching the screen. Cordy as the picture jerks like crazy: "Just give it to me!" Wesley: "Ah, it's not a toy! It's an expensive piece of equipment. It's for gathering evidence." The camera now show Cordy's beige boots. Cordy: "Let go." Wesley: "You're just gonna play with it, aren't you?" Lindsey and Lilah exchange a look. Cordy talking to a coat rack: "I gave you two children, Bill, and you leave me for a man? No! Don't speak! Don't say anything! What is there to say? You said it all..." Serena to Cowboy: "Interesting choice." Cowboy: "I sort of believe the coat rack more." Cordy slaps the coat rack, knocking it over. Cordy, drinking a tall glass of milk: "Hmm, milk." Lindsey and Lilah exchange another look, while Anne's eyes remain riveted to the screen. Nathan Reed makes a face. Cordy says 'hmm, milk' in different ways, trying to convey different emotions. Then: "I don't get it. How am I not working?" Screen goes to snow for a moment. Lilah: "What's happening?" Now it's Wesley dancing up on the big screen, snapping his fingers. Angel comes to stand next to Anne: "Looks to me like you two were acting like a couple of crazy people - on camera, too. - Ouch." Wesley into the camera: "Price. Wesley Wyndham-Price." Serena: "Isn't that the guy that's dating Virginia Bryce?" Cowboy scoffs. The crowd starts to laugh as Wesley launches into a striptease dance. Nathan looks over at Lindsey and Lilah, not laughing. Lindsey: "You don't have us on tape, do you?" Angel smiling: "I got nothing. Do you know how hard it is to secretly record someone as paranoid as you two?" Lindsey: "This whole thing was a setup." Lilah: "You hired Boone." On screen, Wesley apparently hears someone coming into the office and jumps towards the camera, putting his hand over the lens as he drops down with it. Angel: "No. You did. For a whole lot of money, too." Lindsey turns to look towards the tables: "The money." He and Lilah run back through the crowd, pushing people aside and yelling 'look out' and 'move,' running past Nathan Reed, to find the employees knocked unconscious and the money gone. Lindsey: "Damn!" Nathan: "What happened?" Lilah: "He stole the money." Nathan: "Who?" Lindsey: "The cowboy." Angel is walking out of the hotel when Anne comes up behind him, puts a hand on his arm to turn him around then slaps him full in the face. Anne: "How dare you? I risked everything in there. I risked my kids. You never even planned to expose the scheme." Angel: "They would have covered it up. I just wanted to shake them up a bit. - It's not much, but it's a start." Anne: "And the money?" Angel: "The money was tainted." Anne: "I don't even care about..." Angel: "Yes, you do. That's the difference between us. - You still care." After looking at her a moment longer, Angel turns as walks off. Wolfram and Hart, night, Lindsey's office. Nathan: "You embarrassed us all. - You allowed two million dollars earmarked for this firm to be lost. And worst of all, you violated company policy to hire an assassin to kill Angel. An assassin who was in fact, in league with Angel." Lilah: "I'm very sorry, sir." Nathan: "Sorry isn't acceptable. - Holland Manners was a brilliant lawyer - had a tremendous mind - but I think he had a soft spot for the two of you, which I believe clouded his judgement. - I won't make that mistake." Lilah: "Understood." Nathan: "My advice to both of you, start piling up wins. Fast." Lilah: "Yes, sir." Lindsey: "How-how do you expect us to - succeed when you handcuff us with these idiotic rules protecting Angel?" Lilah casually edges a couple of steps away from Lindsey. Nathan: "I'm sorry. Did you say something?" Lindsey: "Angel is an obstacle to everything that we do. Give me one good reason why we can't just kill him!" Nathan steps up close to Lindsey: "Because Angel - is a major player." Lilah: "In business?" Nathan: "In the apocalypse." Lilah: "Oh. That." Nathan: "The prophecies all agree that when the final battle is waged, he plays a key role." Lindsey: "Good for him." Nathan: "Which side he's on is the gray area, and we're gonna continue making it as gray as possible." Lilah: "Works for me." Nathan: "Until then - his growing obsession with the two of you, the increasing possibility that to scratch that itch, he'll go so far as to kill you... - Well, that could actually play in the firm's favor. (Lilah stares at him wiht a frown) It would be a sign that Angel is on the path to joining our team. And as hard as it is to lose good attorneys, well the truth is - you are both expendable. (Smiles at them - then turns dead serious) Angel - isn't." Angel is looking at a picture of Anne and Lindsey back in his office at the Hyperion, then drops it into the trashcan on his way into the lobby. He walks up the steps to his apartment, but stops on the first landing. Angel without turning around: "I thought you'd be halfway to Brazil by now." Angel turns and we see Boone standing on the landing in front of the entrance. Boone: "No, you didn't." Angel: "No, I didn't." Boone lifts up the carpetbag in his hand and throws it down into the lobby. Money and jewelry spill out. Angel: "How much did it come to?" Boone: "With jewelry? North of two and a half million, I'd say." Angel: "That's a lot to lay on the line." Boone: "Yeah. But I got to know." Boone stretches his hands down and the steel coils wrap around his hands. We get a close up of Boone's hand. A close up on Angel's eyes, one on Boone's eyes. Then the two launch at each other across the lobby. Smash cut to the bag with the money dropping on Anne's desk. Angel: "All of it. Little bit more than five percent." Anne reaches in and takes out some of the bundles of money. We see that Angel's face is badly bruised and he has a split lip. Angel turning to go: "Wolfram and Hart find out that you have that money..." Anne: "I can find a way to hide it. (She fingers the money than looks at the dark liquid coming off onto her fingers) What's this?" Angel: "Blood." Anne looks at him, looks down, hesitates for a moment, then: "It'll wash." Goes back to removing the money form the bag. FADE TO BLACK	Plan: A: a fund raising benefit; Q: What are Wolfram and Hart sponsoring? A: a local teen shelter; Q: What is the benefit benefiting? A: their motives; Q: What is Angel suspicious of? A: their own detective business; Q: What are Wes, Gunn and Cordy trying to establish? Summary: Wolfram and Hart are sponsoring a fund raising benefit for a local teen shelter. Angel is suspicious of their motives and starts investigating. Meanwhile, Wes, Gunn and Cordy work to establish their own detective business.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Caleb: Let's see what we got. (Horse whinnies) Caleb: Whoa! If you wanna join me in hotshots, I'll consider it. No. We don't need any help. Georgie: Look at this. Lou: There's Amy. Oh my God. Amy: Sometimes these Internet things, they aren't what they seem. It looks like "Hooves For Hope" might be a scam. You ruin everything! He kissed me. Then I told him to back off, that he had crossed a line, and he said he was sorry. And it happened that fast. (Ripping) (Insects buzz, ATV roars) Caleb: Nice one! Amy: Keep him close to the steer, Caleb! (ATV roars) Ty: Come on, Caleb! Caleb: Let's go, boy! Got it! (Laughs) That a boy. (Trailer clanks, ATV roars) (Horse grunts) Amy: Nice work, guys! Ty: I think he's really starting to get it. Caleb: Yeah, he better be. We've been chasing this thing in a circle for like an hour now. When do you think we can get him back in a pen with a real steer? Amy: You know, it might do him some good with a change of scenery. Caleb: Are you saying we're ready for the real deal? Amy: I'm not saying that I'd go enter a stampede anytime soon, but maybe a local jackpot? Ty and Caleb: Yes! Georgie: Hey, Ty. Ty: Hey, Georgie! Georgie: Come by the house once you're done, okay? Yeah, I can do that. Um... (Phone buzzes) Oh shoot! Uh, I'm late. Georgie, I can't right now, okay? Georgie: But you promised you'd help me look for some sanctuaries. Well, I can help you, Georgie. Um... actually, I think it'd be better if Ty did it, just 'cause he works at the clinic. Hey, you know what? I'll talk to Scott for you, okay? Georgie: Thanks, Ty. Ty: No problem. Lou: Peter? Peter: Mm-hmm. You have to see this. Look. Peter: The Starbright Academy? Lou: They have a preschool. Marnie's looking into it for her daughter. Peter: They wear uniforms? Lou: I know! Aren't they adorable? Peter: Whoa! Is that the price?! Lou: Okay- Peter: Is that-is that the- Lou: Honey, they off- Peter: Is that the tuition? Yes. They offer an enriched education. It's preschool, sweetheart. What's wrong with the place down the street from Maggie's? At the community center? Honey, that is nothing but a glorified daycare. Starbright has an environment that fosters a thirst for knowledge. Peter: You memorized their mission statement. Can we please just go in for an assessment? Peter: An assessment? Really?! Lou: Yes. They like to meet the parents and the child to get an sense of who we are. It's like a job interview. Sure. (Laughs) Sure. Yeah. I'd love to get a sense of who the hell they think they are. Great, I will book an appointment. (Birds chirp, low hum of chatter) (Truck starts up and rumbles loudly) (Loud crash, tires screech) Woman: Tim? Tim: (Hat thumps) Aw! Woman: Tim Flemming. Tim: Casey McMurtry? Casey: Ah! Tim: I-I-I... Wow! You... you haven't changed a bit since the rodeo days. Well, I can't say the same for you. Well, I try to, you know... Oh, no, I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. It just looks like you cleaned up your act, that's all. Oh, yeah. Yeah, well... I was a mess back then. Hey, I'm-I'm sorry to hear about Hank. Yeah. It's uh... It's crazy to think it's been over five years now. Well, I've hard you've done a... A great job keeping the business running, just, you know, picking up where he left off, so... Thanks. Well, Hank would never forgive me if I didn't keep his rodeos up and running. Next up is this team roping jackpot, here in Hudson. Tim: Travis Coleman? That's a blast from the past. Casey: (Laughing) I know. That's the point. We're billing it as "Legends of Rodeo." It gives locals a chance to compete with their champions of yesteryear. You've won a couple of buckles, you should come on out. No. (Laughs) No, I-I... I'm busy. I mean, I am trying to get back into the rodeo, but I'm just... I'm training horses. That's what I'm doing. Well, all the more reason to come on out. Show off your stock, have a little fun. I tell ya, I'd love to beat Travis Coleman again. I don't know, Tim. He's been doing senior's rodeo, and you've been out of the game for awhile. Which means I'm well rested. (Laughs) Is that what it means? Tim: It's good to see you. Casey: Nice to see you. Let me know if you find a partner. Yeah, I will. I'll think about it. Casey: (Laughs) (Honks horn) (Loud metallic clunk) Oh! (Sighs) ♪ And at the break of day you sank into your dream. ♪ ♪ You dreamer oh, oh, oh...♪ ♪ You dreamer, ♪ You dreamer. (Dogs barking) Ty: Sorry, Scott. We had a training session. I just lost track of time. Tough to ride two horses with one butt. Huh? It's a saying. As in... You're spreading yourself a bit thin. Ty: Well, we're just uh... Training a few more horses and then I can pull back, let Caleb run with it. Trust me, it's hard to pull back on something you own a stake in. (Cat meows) Hey, do you know of any animal sanctuaries around here? Something legit? I made a few calls to this one place just north of town. It's run by a guy named Bob Granger. Seems to be on the up and up. Okay, cool. Thank you. (Phone rings) I got it, Scott. Hudson Vet Clinic. Can I ask who's calling? It's Dr. Kerr on the phone for you. Scott: Yeah, um... Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna take this call in the other room. Lou: And there you go, Katie. Katie: But I don't want the yeyyow one. Lou: Honey, it's yel-low, and this plate is blue. Can you say blue? Jack: Oh... Both you and Amy had problems with your y's and l's when you were little. Lou: Yeah? How about colours? Well, it was a long time ago, but I do recall that you could both ride a horse before you knew it was brown. Peter: (Chuckles) Ah, those were the days, huh? Learning from life on the ranch. Okay. Peter: None of us went to an "enriched" preschool and we all turned out fine, that's all I'm saying. Lou: Yeah, and we didn't wear seatbelts either. Doesn't mean it was right. (Front door opens and closes) Tim: You got yourself a deal, Bo. Yeah, I'll swing by and pick 'em up tomorrow. Okay. Pleasure doin' business with you. Thank you. Jack: Now don't you look like the cat that just swallowed the canary. Or the guy that just bought a couple of champion roping horses. I don't get it. Why would you buy horses that are already trained? Flip 'em for profit. How? I'm gonna enter them in a team roping jackpot, and I'm gonna ride one of them. Amy: Dad, you haven't competed in years. Thank you. Roping, honey, is like riding a bicycle, okay? And besides, this is just like a fantasy camp. This is locals against "legends" of the rodeo, so... Which would you be? Amy: (Laughs) Tim: That's funny. You two should pair up! Jack: (Laughs) I don't think so. Georgie: Why not? You said roping was your best event. Tim: Listen, honey, this is old school, but it's not that old school. No, I think I'll be going with Caleb on this. Dad, he's way too busy with his own horses. Oh, too busy to rope with a "legend"? Amy: Okay, I'll let Georgie know. I love you too. Bye. Did he find a sanctuary? Yes, a wildlife reserve. He's gonna take you there tomorrow. Okay, good. (Sighs heavily) Hey, Georgie, look. I'm really sorry about how that whole charity scam went down and I was just hoping, maybe, we could put it behind us? Uh... yeah, sure. Amy: Okay, good. You know that jackpot that my dad was talking about at dinner? Yeah. I was thinking, you know, what they're doing for entertainment? Maybe you could do some trick riding to fire up the crowd? Georgie: Well, I'm only a beginner. Amy: Yeah, but come on! That tandem ride that you did with Sandra last year was so cool. Georgie: Well, I guess I could call her and see if she wants to do it again. Yeah... or you and I could do it. Um... yeah. Yeah, sure. I guess we could try. Amy: Okay. I'll make some calls then. (Low hum of chatter, birds chirp) Tim: Hey! Time to get up! (Bangs on door) Come on, get up! Caleb: What?! We gotta get to the rodeo grounds. Dude, what time is it? Tim: We gotta practice our team roping, get it in sync. What're you talking about? Tim: I entered us in the team roping jackpot. You know, I thought you might wanna be my partner. Thanks, but no thanks. (Door clicks open forcefully why? Caleb: (Sighs) 'Cause if we lose you'd kill me. No, I wouldn't. Plus, we're not gonna lose. Listen, anybody who's anybody in rodeo is gonna be at this thing. Really? Yeah! It's a big deal. A couple of my horses could use the experience. Tim: Well, I got horses. I just bought a couple of champs. They're beautiful. Wait'll you see 'em. Wow! I mean, that took some real stones. W-w-what do you mean? Comin' here, askin' me to help you with your horses? Caleb: (Laughs) Tim: What? (Door bangs shut) Okay, fine! There are lots of guys that would be lined up to do this. (Window bangs shut) Right. (Low hum of chatter) [SCENE_BREAK] (Truck rumbles) (Doors bang shut) Bob: Howdy. Ty: Hey. Bob: You must be Scott's guy. Ty: Ty. Ty borden. Bob: Yeah. Ty: This is Georgie. Bob: Hey! Georgie: So... you run this place? Bob: (Laughs) Yeah, I know I don't look like your typical country vet, but uh... thank God for that, right? Ty: (Chuckles dryly) Bob: Come on, I'll show you around my digs. (Various bird calls) Georgie: Wow, look at 'em all. Ty: Yeah. Georgie: Huh. Ty: How many species do you have here? Bob: It fluctuates. About 20 right now. Ty: That's incredible. Bob: Yeah. Ty: Like a zoo. Bob: Nah. It's more like a wildlife motel. Some are in and out really quickly, once I treat their injuries. Others need a home. Usually because they've been abandoned by people who try and make them into pets. Humans really are the stupidest animals on the planet sometimes. You're in luck. Old Gordon here is ready to check out. (Gate latch clanks) Georgie: You're gonna release him right now? Bob: Yeah, I was gonna do it this morning, but when Scott called and said you guys wanted to check this out, I decided to hold off. I thought you might enjoy this. Ty: Wow. Here, you can do the honours. Georgie: Oh, I... I don't know. Bob: Oh, it's easy. Just move behind me there, put your glove on. Georgie: Okay. Bob: You just want to put a little bit of pressure on the back of his legs. Georgie: Like that? Bob: Yeah. Bob: You ready? Set him free. (Georgie laughs) (Wings beat) (Georgie sighs) That was amazing! (Grass crunches underfoot) What's in there? Bob: Come here, I'll show you. Take you to see mama wolf. (Door squeaks open) Go ahead, take a look. What do you think of her? Georgie: Oh, she's beautiful. Bob: She's nearing the end of her pregnancy. Georgie: She looks so skinny. Bob: (Quietly) Yeah. You should've seen her when she got here. Completely emaciated. Had to get rid of an intestinal parasite. Taenia or Echinococcosis? Yeah, taenia. Ty: Taenia. Bob: Yeah. Georgie: What's that? Ty: It's a tapeworm. Wolves usually contract it after they eat their prey. Well, damn, someone's been hitting the books. I go to U of C. I'll try not to hold that against you. I was a Western college guy. Ty: How close is she to giving birth? Bob: Close. I've been bunking out here in my sleeping bag the past few nights, so... Ty: You don't have staff to cover some shifts? Bob: Dude, I am the staff. You run this whole place by yourself? Bob: Well, yeah, it's tough to keep good people when you can't pay them. Hell, I can hardly pay myself. I'm waiting on a grant. What if you don't get it? Bob: Well, I'll figure something out. Where else would these animals go, right? I wanna make a donation. You take those right? Bob: Hell yeah. Cheques, cash, food stamps, whatever you can offer. Maybe you can throw in this guy to help me out. Oh, I already got a job. Bob: I know, but if that grant comes through, who knows? You might wanna think about it. Come on! Lou: Hey, Katie, what colour do you think this block is? Hmm... wed. Are you sure that the block is red? Mama happy? Yes, honey, Mama's happy. She just wants her munchkin to learn her colours, okay? What about this block? (Sighs) Jack: Well, who's this good lookin' fella? Amy: This is Brewster. Sandra lent him to us. Jack: Oh. Georgie: But I did that trick on Chaplin. Well, she couldn't spare Chaplin right now, but Brewster's one of her best. Oh, and I talked to the organizers, they are happy to have us perform. Jack: Well, isn't that great news? Georgie: Yeah, great. Jack: How 'bout I take your bag and you two can get at it. (Approaching truck rumbles) (Air brakes hiss, door slams shut) Driver: Is there an Amy Fleming at this address? Yeah, that's me. I'm sorry, what am I signing for? (Tarp flaps) Um... there must be a mistake. Driver: Nope. Says right there it's for you. Bought and paid for. Just need that signature. It's from the prince, isn't it? Did you call Ahmed? Yes, of course. I had no idea that this was coming. Lou: And what did he say? Amy: He said it's for work. Jack: That's a lot of fancy just to get from A to B. Grandpa, you know Ahmed, okay? He wants the best of everything. Lou: (Snorts) Georgie: Um... let's go get lunch. (Door bangs shut) Are you gonna keep it? I know it's a bit over the top You think? Amy, who gives gifts like this? It's not a gift. It's for work. Right. I must have mentioned that it was difficult sharing Grandpa's truck. Amy, this is more than a work truck and you know it. (Birds chirp, grass crunches underfoot) (Cats meow) (Phone buttons beep, dogs bark nearby) Answering machine: You have one new message. To listen to your- (button beeps) Female voice: Hi, Dr. Cardinal, it's Teresa from Dr. Kerr's clinic. Received all of your financial reports for the past five years, thank-you. Wanted to make sure you got all of our clinic's financials and client list as well. I sent over everything you requested yesterday. Call or email us back to confirm. Thanks. (Cutlery clanks forcefully, cupboard doors open and shut) Hey, Georgie, I'm sorry we got interrupted out there. Do you wanna get back at it? I've got a book report I gotta go finish. Okay. Maybe after then? Actually, I don't think it's such a good idea. It's only a couple of days away. Amy: You already know the trick- Georgie: Look, I don't wanna do it, Amy! I changed my mind, okay? (Dish clunks on table) Jack: Everything all right between you two? Georgie, what's going on? Nothing. It's nothing. Yeah, sounds like something to me. Look, I don't wanna talk about it, Jack. There's nothing you can do about it this time. (Sighs heavily) Scott: How's Old Farley doing? Ty: Well, still not a fan of getting his nails trimmed, but we got through it. Ty: Hey, Scott, there's a message on the machine there for you, from Dr. Kerr's office. Something about exchanging financial reports? I guess you're wondering why we'd be doing that. It's none of my business. Well, it's just with rising costs and fewer clients... It kinda makes sense to partner up. Oh, you're merging the clinics? This is already done? We're still working out the details. I didn't want to say anything until it's official. I'm not gonna lose my job, am I? Come on, Ty, I'm gonna do everything I can to keep you and Cassandra on board. Okay, what is your problem? Is it still about the money? No, it's not-yeah, sure, a little bit, but... It's also about Katie. You saw her in there. She didn't make a peep. That's not like her. You didn't like it in there did you, sweetie? Of course she did. Wasn't that counting tree cool? Yeah. Look, it is a new environment, and she'll warm up to it. I think Starbright is a really good fit for her. Because Marnie said so? Because it'll give her a chance to catch up. Catch up?! Before she gets into kindergarten. Right, honey? Don't you want to play at Starbright? Peter: There is a lot of other cool places you can play too, right? And I just think we should check them all out, that's all. Okay, well, you heard what Ms. Wadsworth said. There aren't many spots left and we could miss our chance to get in there. Peter: All I'm saying is, I'm not totally sold yet, okay? Katie: Mama happy? Lou: No, honey, Mama's not happy. (Truck rumbles, horn honks) Wow! (Truck shuts down) I knocked the bumper off mine. But it was worth it! This is special. You know how many options this thing has? Yeah, I'm beginning to get the idea. Whose is this? I'm using it for work. What, your work? Your work? Is this yours? Uh, well, not really. It's Ahmed's. I'm just using it to get around. You know, work with his horses. Oh, you really put a spell on him! Dad, it's just for work, it's not-- I'm not implying anything else, Amy. I'm just saying you are very good at your work and it's good to see someone who appreciates it in such a big way. Yeah. So did you get a chance to talk to Caleb about the jackpot? Oh, I'm not sure we're gonna be the right fit, so.... - He turned you down? (Laughs awkwardly) Oh, I'm just thinking of some other options. Oh, so... everybody else turned you down too, huh? Yeah. You know this is a team roping event, right? I know. (Laughs) I... have one last option. (Door opens) Tim: Jack! Hey! (Door closes) Beautiful day, isn't it? Jack: It was. Tim: What? What's the matter? Jack: I don't know. What are you up to? Tim: Oh, I'm up to nothing. I mean, I just had a fantastic day at the rodeo grounds, and I'm all excited about this jackpot thing. Do you remember what that was like? You remember? (Pop tab snaps) Being in the chute, knowing what your horse is gonna do before your horse does it? Feel of the burn... On your hand from the rope, the steer's right in front of ya and... wham! Suddenly everything's just in slow-motion. We used to call that "the zone." Tim: That's where everything falls into place and I miss that so much. Don't you miss that? You can't find a partner, can you? (Chuckles) Tim: I just really wanna beat Travis Coleman, and I thought it would be nice if you did it with me. Jack: Oh, well, I think I'm a little too "old school" to help you out much. I'm not gonna beg. If you don't wanna do it, you don't wanna do it. I don't wanna do it. Tim: Let me finish. Because once you find out who Travis Coleman's partner is, you might change your mind. You know what, Tim? I don't hold grudges against my old rodeo rivals like you do. I really couldn't care less who it is. Dan Hartfield. Dan Hartfield. Amy: So... how is this gonna work? Is this new vet just gonna move into the clinic with you and Scott? Ty: I don't know. This just came out of left field. Scott didn't even tell me it was in the works. Doesn't seem like him. My day went kinda sideways as well. New client horse? (Laughs) New truck, actually. Ahmed had it delivered... for work. I was shocked too, but... It kinda makes sense. No, it doesn't. Not really. I knew you'd say that. That's why I didn't drive it over here. No, that's not what I meant, Amy, I-- No. You know... I do good work for him and this is like a-- It's like a bonus. It's not like he has some ulterior motive. Whoa. I didn't say that he did. But that's exactly what you were thinking. Where- where are you going? I hate when we get like this, okay?! When we both get our backs up and then one of us is gonna say something we regret. That's not true. What are you talking about? Amy: I'll call you tomorrow, okay? When we've both had a chance to just cool off. [SCENE_BREAK] (Foliage crunches underfoot) (Birds chirp) (Door bangs shut) Lou: I just signed for this. It's from Ahmed. Amy: (Sighs heavily, rips package open) Set of keys to a new Porsche? Hah. (Sighs) A first class ticket on a flight to Antwerp. Where's that? In Belgium. "I need my good luck charm back"? (Door creaks open, rapid knock) Ty: Hey! Amy: Hey! Ty: Is everything all right? Yeah. Uh, do you want some breakfast? Ty: Uh, no, I'm good. I uh... Gotta go with Georgie. You ready? Georgie: Oh yeah. Ty: Thanks though, I'll see you later. Lou: Have fun! Georgie: Thanks! Ty: Okay, here we go. (Sighs heavily) Lou: Amy, we need to talk about this. "His good luck charm"? Like you're some kind of possession. Just leave me alone, Lou! Amy, you can't ignore this anymore, okay? He obviously has feelings for you, and you know what you need to do. I'm not going, okay? Of course you're not going! But you have to cut off ties with him altogether. He is my biggest client, Lou. I have to ask this one last time. Is there any chance, even a small chance, that you have feelings for him? Amy: No! Lou: Okay. But don't bite my head off because you're obviously holding onto something. Yes! I am holding onto my job, here, at Hillhurst. It's incredible working with his high performance horses. Okay, but this isn't about horses, Amy. Not anymore. Georgie: Here's my donation, Mr. Granger. Bob: Oh, please, call me Bob. Heck, this is the first donation I've had in a while. Call me anything you like. Ty: Check out those buffalo. Yeah. The calves are all doing well. (Buffalo grunt) Georgie: So how's the wolf? Can I go see her? Yeah, go for it. Stay on the outside of her pen, okay? Georgie: Yeah, sure. Bob: Hey, take that for me? Georgie: Oh, 'kay. Pound it. Pfffft! (Bob and Georgie chuckle) Bob: She seems like a great kid, man. Ty: Yeah, she is. Bob: Oh, hey, I'm getting that grant. Ty: Well that's great. Bob: Yeah. Ty: Got a few friends at school that'd kill to work in a place like this. I dunno. I like you, Ty. You impress me. Why? 'Cause I know a few things about tapeworms in wolves? (Laughs) No, not just that. I dunno, I get a good vibe. This isn't an easy place to work and my gut tells me you could handle it. Yeah, well, you know I already have a job. Yeah, well, with this grant, I can match what Scott pays, so... Yeah, well, my schedule's pretty insane right now. I got this horse starting business thing going too, so... See, man, I... ugh! I love that, you know? You've got ambition. And that's the whole reason I opened this place. Sure, yeah, I bust my butt 24/7 to keep it afloat, but at least it's my own deal, you know? Um... I'm not judging, but uh... I couldn't handle working my way up the line in some stuffy clinic. Just imagine what you could learn here, 'kay? (Buffalo grunt) (Steer moos, gate clanks) (Gate clanks) Hup, hup, hup! (Steer bellows) (Tim groans) Tim: What was that? Jack: Well, you took him to the corner too quick. Tim: Well, Jack, it's a timed event, you know? You're gonna have to take him in the corner if we wanna have a chance of winning. Casey: Going that well, huh, fellas? Tim: Oh yeah, we're just shaking off the rust. We'll be fine. Casey: Well, I'm just glad you found a partner. Tim: Yeah. Casey: And another legend at that. You're Jack bartlett, aren't you? Yeah, that's right. I'm Casey McMurtry, I'll be running this thing. Nice to meet you. Well, I hope you can iron everything out before the jackpot. Tim: Oh, yeah, we will. (Unsure) We will. You bring the buckles, we'll bring the glory. (Laughs) We'll bring the glory? It's a saying. What? Did it-what, did it sound kind of stupid? No, it sounded a whole lot stupid. Jack: Ya. Tim: Okay. Jack: So, now I know why you're so gung ho to win this thing, anyway. Tim: Oh, what're you starting on, Jack? Jack: I'm not starting anything. But a word of advice... Tim: Yeah? Jack: Women are not impressed with your so-called rodeo prowess. Tim: Funny, I seem to remember Marion very impressed when I beat you in Ponoka. Oh, that's not the way I remember it. Matter of fact, she thought you were pretty full of yourself. Oh. I think I was, but she still went out with me. Well, yeah, because of your horse. Tim: Pegasus? Jack: Yeah, she saw you giving him a nice brush down after that rodeo. Tim: Well, that was our routine, you know, and it showed him that he'd done a good job. Jack: I guess she figured a guy who cared about his horse couldn't be all bad. I don't think I can remember the last time I competed without Marion watching me. Oh, I suspect she will be. Come on, you and me teaming up for the first time? No way she'd miss that. Yeah, she might help us find that zone too. (Jack clucks his tongue) (Phone rings) Lou: Okay, I'll get it. Don't run to the phone or anything. (Phone beeps) Lou: Hello? (Approaching footsteps) Oh, hi. Let me just check. Lou: (Mouths) It's him. Amy: (Whispers) I'm not here. Lou: (Whispers) Amy! Amy: I'm not here. Lou: I'm afraid she's not here. May I take a message? Okay. Goodbye. (Cell phone chimes) (Sighs heavily) It's him. You cannot keep avoiding him. I just don't know what to say yet. (Phone rings, talk button beeps) Lou: I'm sure you'll think of something. Amy: (Muffled) Lou! (Sighs) Hello. (Laughs) Yes, she is. Just one moment. It's for you. Lou: Hello? (Gasps) Hi, Ms. Wadsworth. How are you? Thank you for calling me back. I was hoping I could talk to you about enrolling Katie. No, no. Unfortunately, my husband won't be able to make it, so it's... It's just me this time. (Laughs nervously) Amy: (Sighs heavily) (Truck rumbles to a stop) Ty: Wow! He really went all out, huh? Ty... Just saying, it's pretty sweet. Why don't you just tell me what you really feel? All right. It's pretty weird some guy bought my fiancee a new truck. I know. Doing business with a prince can take some getting used to... Like today, for example. What happened? He wants me to go back on tour with him and his team. I'm not gonna go. How did he take that? Amy: I haven't told him yet. Ty: Why not? Amy: I just wanna make sure it doesn't affect the work I do with him here. Ty: I get that. Amy: Stop doing that. Doing what? Amy: I know you don't want me to work for him. Again, Amy, I never said that. So quit trying to guess what I'm thinking and just figure out what it is that you want. (Crowd cheers) Announcer: Welcome, folks, to Hudson's very first "Legends of the Rodeo" team roping jackpot. What a glorious day for this very special competition that gives locals... Tim: Don't tell me you're riding one of your horses out there? Caleb: His name is Carter, and yes I am. Tim: Really? Who'd you partner up with on that? Caleb: I'm not competing. I'm the flagger. Oh yeah? (Laughs) Well, it's good to see they got somebody of your caliber. Hey, listen, watch out for illegal cross fire from Travis Coleman. That guy's always trying to get away with something. Caleb: Well, don't you fret, I'm a bit of a stickler for the rules. Tim: That's good. (Rope whips around) Dan: I don't know, Jack. That rope looks a little soft for heeling. Since when did you become an expert on roping? Dan Hartfield: Well, you pick up a few tricks of the trade when you train with a star like Travis Coleman. Yeah. So this must be quite the thrill for a weekend cowboy like you. (Laughing) Weekend cowboy... I've been roping every day for a month to get ready for this thing. How about you? Jack: Can't say I've had as much idle time what with marrying that beautiful wife of mine. Yeah, well, (Clears throat) I wonder what Lisa's gonna think when get your butt whipped... By a weekend cowboy? Keep it up, Jack. (Rope whips around) (Dogs bark, cats meow) (Footsteps approach) Ty: How'd your meeting with Dr. Kerr go? Still working things out. You know, I took Georgie to that wildlife reserve you suggested. Yeah, Bob's quite the character, isn't he? Yeah. He shoots from the hip. Can you believe he offered me a job? Oh? Ty: Yeah. I gotta say, it'd be a pretty unique opportunity. I told you, Ty, I'm gonna fight for you here. What does that mean, Scott? Dr. Kerr, he wants to keep his staff. I want you guys. But we can't have both. Okay, well, what if he doesn't budge? This is my business, Ty. I have to make it work. With or without me? Just give me some time to work on him. I can't, Scott. Bob needs an answer. You're really gonna do this? You left me no choice. [SCENE_BREAK] Announcer: Next up, we have local businessman and rancher Dan Hartfield! (Crowd cheers loudly) Dan's teaming up with two time all 'round Canadian champion, Travis Coleman. (Crowd cheers wildly) Announcer: Now, I want you to watch Coleman's technique right here. You're gonna see how he gets that loop already in position for that good quick swing. (Gates clank open) Announcer: Here we go. One, two, three, unload. (Ropes whip, hooves thunder) And there's a wild throw from Hartfield, but somehow he gets both feet. Let's check that time. Hey! Five point six on the clock. (Crowd cheers wildly) And our flagger says it was a clean run, so that's the time to beat. Crowd: (Cheering wildly) Dan: (Laughing) Jack: He's got a horseshoe planted so far up his- Tim: No, you know what? Don't worry about it. Just stay focused. I'm glad to see somebody wants to win this as much as I do. There's no way we're losing to Dan Hartfield. (Door closes) Peter: Hey. Lou: Hey. Lou: What're you doing home? Peter: I had a meeting in Hudson, so I figured I'd just swing by for lunch. Lou: Oh. I was just-- Peter: At the Starbright Academy, right? I know. Georgie told me. Lou: Peter, I can explain. Peter: You don't need to explain anything, sweetheart. You're hell bent on getting her into that place, it doesn't matter what I think. Lou: That's not true, okay? Marnie's daughter got in there yesterday, and I was afraid they were gonna to fill up. Peter: So you just went and enrolled her anyway, right? Lou: No. Well, I was going to... But what, they were already full? Lou: No. Ms. Wadsworth doesn't think that Katie's ready. (Truck rumbles to a stop) (Door bangs shut) Amy: I just got your text. Did you actually quit? Ty: Well, Scott couldn't guarantee I'd stay on, so... Amy: What is going on over there? This is crazy. Ty: He's just looking out for his best interests. I decided to do the same. I took that job at the reserve. Are you okay? Ty: I can look on the bright side of things. Be exciting to start something new. Probably pretty scary too, huh? (Breeze blows, wind chimes tinkle) Announcer: And now, here's a special treat. We have legend teamed up with legend with a couple of cowboys who are keeping it in the family. Jack Bartlett still holds the saddle bronc riding record set on these very grounds, (Crowd cheers wildly) And you might remember that magical run Tim Fleming had: Four straight all 'round titles. Yeah! (Gate clanks open) (Steer bellows) Jack: Yah! Tim: Hi-yah! (Hooves thunder, tack jingles) (Steer bellows) (Crowd cheers) Announcer: And that's how it's done! Five seconds flat! That's gonna win it! (Shrill whistling) (Crowd cheers) Tim: What? Oh, come on! What for? Caleb: It's just the rules, Tim. Announcer: Oh no, the flagger says that was an illegal head catch. That's when that small circle on the header's rope, (crowd boos) The hondo, passes over one horn and loops the other. Sorry, guys, but that's disqualification. Travis Coleman and Dan Hartfield are your winners. Casey: Congratulations. Congratulations, Travis. (Crowd claps and cheers) (Light knocking) Amy: Can we talk? Georgie: (Sighs) I'm doing homework. Amy: Georgie, this is kind of important. What is going on between us? Georgie: Nothing. There's definitely something. I wanted to be like you. And I was never okay with that. You should be your own person. I am, and I'm glad. I wouldn't wanna be such a big fat fake anyways. Where is this coming from? How could you do this to Ty? What're you talking about? I saw the video, Amy. I saw you and Ahmed. I saw you kissing Ahmed! Tim: Can you believe Caleb? An illegal headcatch? Come on, are you serious? Jack: Now don't get all worked up about it. We actually did pretty darn good out there. Marion would be impressed. Tim: That we almost won? Jack: That we didn't kill each other. Dan Hartfield: Hey, guys, look. They gave me a new buckle. How's it look? Like you're overcompensating for something. Oh, Jack, is that sour grapes? Jack: You won on a technicality, Dan. We had the better run and you know it. Well, thanks to these high end horses. He's right, Jack. If you had have been riding these high end horses you would have cleaned our clocks. Illegal headcatch or not. No, no, no, no. I know what you're doing. You're not gonna con me into buying any more of your overpriced stock. Tim: I'm just saying if a couple of broke down cowboys like us could do that well, imagine how well you would do on the senior rodeo circuit. You wanna come by tomorrow, take them for a test drive? I'm done. Dan: I've got a lunch date tomorrow with Casey. Maybe I'll drop by after that. (Birds chirp, door snaps shut) Amy: You know, that video isn't what it looks like. Then why does he keep sending you stuff? Amy: I love Ty, and I don't wanna lose him. What if he finds the video? Georgie... - Well, I'm not gonna show him, but he could easily find it, just like I did. (Rooster crows in the distance) (Dialling, phone rings on other end) Amy: Ahmed, we need to talk. Casey: Tough luck out there. Tim: Yeah, well, I'm sure Dan'll be bragging about it tomorrow... On your date. On our date? Women love a winner. What do you think I am, some kind of buckle bunny? No, I... We're having lunch to discuss a sponsorship, that's it. I'm sorry. I... That's not what I meant. I know you're not just gonna give some guy attention 'cause he won a roping contest. I... I know that. That's not why entered. I mean... How pathetic would that be? You know, if I went and bought a couple of top notch horses and dusted my saddle off after 20 years, and then begged my ex-father-in-law to be my team roping partner just to get the attention of some woman? That'd be pretty pathetic. Yeah. But also kind of flattering. You know, you could've just asked me out for a coffee. (Brush swipes) Well, how are you with a brush? I got two of these guys, I can't do 'em both. (Laughs) (Truck door closes) Amy: I'm not working for Ahmed anymore. So come on, let's take it for a spin before I have to ship it back. (Door slams shut, truck rumbles) ("Mud" by The Road Hammers plays) Yeah! ♪ Mud! Clean up to the door! ♪ ♪ Mud! Stuck 4x4 ♪ ♪ Mud! Can't move no more ♪ ♪ just when I thought life couldn't get no gooder ♪ ♪ out of the woods come a real good looker ♪ ♪ moonshine fine, sweeter than sugar ♪ ♪ sittin' in her jeep lookin' at me ♪ ♪ the girl of my dreams ♪ Ty: Oh! (Laughing) Well, are you still sure about quitting? Amy: I don't know, it's gonna be tough to send this truck back. (Laughing) Amy: What about you? Any regrets about leaving Scott? Ty: Oh... well, it all feels a bit surreal. Amy: And this reserve, do you think it's worth it? Ty: Well, I hope so. I hope I'm not doing it out of spite, you know? Amy: Why, because Scott couldn't promise you anything? Ty: No, because he tried to hide it from me. Where's the trust, you know? Where's the loyalty? You lose those things and what do you got left, right? Come on, let's take this truck back. (Engine revs) Okay. ♪ Mud! Yeah, I always end up in the... ♪ ♪ Mud! Yeah, that's the good stuff ♪ ♪ Mud! Yeah, my first love! Mud! Mud! ♪ Ty: Woo!	Plan: A: Amy; Q: Who quits her job with the Prince? A: Georgie; Q: Who does Amy want to reunite with? A: an old acquaintance; Q: What is Tim captivated by? A: a charity event; Q: What do Tim and Jack team up for? A: Peter; Q: Who does Lou disagree with about pre-schools? A: an assessment; Q: What does Lou take Katie for? A: And an unexpected revelation forces; Q: What forces Ty to question his career prospects? A: Ty; Q: Who takes a job at an animal reserve? A: the Prince; Q: Who keeps sending Amy gifts? Summary: Amy's attempts to reunite with Georgie are thwarted by the arrival of lavish gifts from afar. When Tim is captivated by an old acquaintance, he and Jack team up for a charity event. Meanwhile, Lou and Peter disagree about potential pre-schools and Lou takes Katie for an assessment. And an unexpected revelation forces Ty to question his career prospects. Ty takes a job at an animal reserve. Amy keeps getting lavish gifts from the Prince; at the end of the episode she quits her job with the Prince.
Ted from 2030: Kids, in the winter of 2010, we had a new addition to our little group... Zoey. Zoey was married to... The Captain. Zoey is coming out of a car Captain: Boys! Great to see you! Looking smart. Have a wonderful time tonight, okay? (The car leaves) Marshall: Okay. That man is terrifying. Barney: Everything he said was nice, but I am profoundly scared. Ted: Keep smiling. He can still see us. Ted from 2030: There was just something about him. We couldn't put our finger on it until... The appartment Marshall: I figured it out! I know what's so creepy about The Captain. Robin: Okay. (Robin shows a picture and everyone scream) Marshall: Yeah. I snapped this photo of him last time he dropped off Zoey.Observe. The bottom half of his face... is smiling. He seems happy. Seems like a nice guy. (everyone is murmuring happily) But the top half of his face...wants to murder you! Cheerful. Wants to murder you. No. Cheerful. Wants to murder you. Now, hold on. Let me ask him a question. Captain, what do you think of ice cream? Oh, he loves it! Barney: Captain, what do you think of rainy days? Marshall: Whoa, he hates them. Robin: Captain, quick question: How do you feel about the Jonas Brothers? Ooh. Ted: Ooh. What-What is that? Robin and Lily: I don't get it. Marshall: He hates that he loves them. [OPENING CREDITS] Ted: Great. Okay. Hey, guys, Zoey just told me about this great Frank Lloyd Wright retrospective tonight. Who's in? Lily: Sorry, I'm, uh, I... I- I don't know, washing my hair. Marshall: Running the water. Robin: Holding the towel. Barney: And I'll be home trying to get over the fact that no one invited meto the big hair washing party. Ted: All right, fine. Guess it'll just be me and Zoey. Lily: Oh, wait. Just the two of you? Tread lightly, Mosby. Any time a single guy hangs out with a married woman, there are rules that must be followed. Rule number one... Barney: Don't use the husband's condoms. That's just rude. Lily: Rule number one: don't go anywhere that has candles. Marshall: Excuse me, Captain, how do you feel about Ted and Zoey having an intimate chat by candlelight? It'll be the last dinner they ever have. Lily: Rule number two: No sharing food. In fact, anything involving saliva is off-limits. Toothbrushes, thermometers, lipstick. Ted: Well, if I can't share her lipstick,there's really no pointin even going. Lily: And the most important rule of all... Barney: Lubricant is public property. (Robin groans) Marshall: Please. Lily: No lying to the spouse about anything you do. Ted: Why would anyone lie? Look, Zoey and I are just friends. If there was anything more than that, I wouldn't hang out with her. Marshall: Lily's right, Ted. Once you're married, it's very hard to be friends with a single person of the opposite s*x. Robin: Yeah. Unless you're old friends, which is why I can hang out with Marshall whenever I want. Right, Marsh Madness? Marshall: No doubt, Robo Cop. Lily: You two never hang out alone. You just made up those nicknames right now. Marshall: I guess it's true. You and I never really hang out alone. Robin: Well, let's. Let's have dinner together, just the two of us. Lily: Oh! Sweet. No candles. Barney: Lily, I guess that leaves just you and me. Want to hang? Ted from 2030: And then Lily said something to Barney that insulted every fiber of his being. Lily: Nah. Ted from 2030: Wait. No. It had to be more than just, "Nah." Oh, I think she said... Lily: You're a big... stupid octopus head! Ted from 2030: No, that doesn't make sense. Okay, hang on. What did she say? She said, um, uh... To be honest kids, I'm having a little trouble remembering exactly what their fight was about. Hey, it was 20 years ago! I'll remember. Anyway, the next night... The Bar Ted: Well, Lily, you were right. Something weird happened with Zoey last night. [FLASHBACK] (Zoey's phone rings) Zoey: Oh, that's the Captain. Yes, I call my husband The Captain, but that is the only concession I make to his seafaring ways. Hang on. Ahoy. I'm just out with friends. [END OF FLASHBACK] Ted: Friends. Plural. Like-Like there was more than one of me. Lily: Ew! Ew! She lied to her husband? Uh-oh. So, what did you do? [FLASHBACK] Ted: Uh, Zoey, um, did you just say you were out with friends? Zoey: Yeah. The Captain's on his way home from Milan. He can get a little jealous sometimes, so I didn't want to make him worry. Is that okay? Ted: It's totally okay. [END OF FLASHBACK] Lily: It's not okay! I didn't really think it was okay! Pur-leez! You lie to your husband all the time. "Uh, uh, that shirt looks great on you""I love your mom""I never fantasize about Barney when we're doing it"" Sound familiar, Pinocchio? Marshall: What's wrong with this shirt? Ted: Lily, ruling. Do I have to stop hanging out with Zoey? Lily: No, you just need to spend time with her and The Captain together. If you're friends with the both of them, then there's not a problem. Ted: Actually, I do have a standing invitation from The Captain to go for a ride with them on his boat. Lily: Great. So go make nice with Captain Creepy, and problem solved. Ted from 2030: The next night, Marshall and Robin went to dinner, just the two of them. Now historically, they had three solid conversation topics: cold weather... Robin: December chill... so great. Marshall: Totally. Ted from 2030:...sports... Marshall: Did you catch the game last night? Robin: Yeah. Nail-biter. Ted from 2030:...and cold weather sports. Marshall: You know what's fun? Is cold weather sports. Robin: They are fun. Ted from 2030: They blew through them all in the first 16 seconds. Robin: Man, this is awkward. Marshall: She's giving me nothing! He's just staring at me! She's just staring at me! It's making me nervous. Great, now my left eye is twitching. Robin: Marshall, it's cool. She doesn't see it. What the hell's going on with his eye? Am I supposed to not talk about that? Great, now my right eye is doing it. Waiter: Can I get you two some drinks? Marshall: Lots of drinks. Robin: Oh, so many drinks. The Bar Ted from 2030: That same night, Barney and Lily were still fighting about, um... something. Or was it that other thing? (Lily arrives) Lily: Barney. Barney: Save it, Lily. I am still mad at you for... something, and for that other thing. Lily: Look, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. But let's be honest. You've been super sensitive lately. Barney, crying: No, I haven't! God, how can you say that?! Lily: Watch out! Ted from 2030: Wait. They were on the street. Lily: Watch out! Barney: Oh! Wow. Thanks, Lily. You saved me. You saved us. Look, I know you didn't mean whatever it was you said that made me so mad. Lily: I think I probably didn't. Ted from 2030: And just like that, the fight was over. You know, kids, friendship is funny sometimes. Lily: Wait. I still can't resist getting one last shot in. Ted from 2030: Like I said, the fight was just getting started. The Captain's boat Ted: Hi, Captain. The Captain. Captain. Captain: Ahoy, Ted! Excellent to see you. Ted: Ah, you, too. Uh, where's Zoey? Captain: Well, I'm afraid she's feeling a little under the weather. Looks like it's just you, me and six hours in frigid international waters. Ted: Or we could stay on dry land, hang out with some... witnesses. Captain: You're a hoot. I've been looking forward to this. For a very long time. Well, anchors aweigh! Ted from 2030: Kids, here's one thing I do remember. I was pretty sure I was going to die that night. The restaurant Robin: You know, I had this really boring poetry class in college. Marshall: You were just thinking that this dinner is really boring. That's what made you think of your boring class in college. Robin: What?! What? No! No! No, no, no. Marshall, no. No. I... I just saw that board of specials, and I thought, you know what sucks? Being bored. Which I am not. So that clears that... right up. Marshall: Robin, I'm an attorney. Robin: Fine. This night's a little awkward. Marshall: I guess it's 'cause we never hang out alone together. Robin: Why is that? Marshall: It's 'cause of The Mermaid Theory. [FLASHBACK] Marshall: Two years ago, I had just hired a new assistant at GNB. Barney: So, who's the eye broccoli? Marshall: Okay, that's Iris, my new assistant. And yes, she's a little plain, but I'm married, so that's good. Barney: Mark my words, Marshall. Someday you will find Iris so excruciatingly attractive, you won't be able to look her directly in the boobs. Marshall: I don't think that's gonna be a problem. Barney: Marshall, do you know how the myth of mermaids came to be? Marshall: I'm sorry. Myth? Barney: It was 300 years ago. Sailors stuck at sea would get desperate for female companionship. It got so bad that, eventually, the manatees out in the water started to look like... beautiful women. Mermaids. Let's go get some tail! Oh. You see, every woman, no matter how initially repugnant, has a mermaid clock... the time it takes for you to realize you want to bone her. Sure, today you see Iris as a manatee. But she ain't gonna stay that way. Marshall, your secretary's mermaid clock starts right now. Marshall: And it took one year, three months, and 16 days, but eventually... Barney: D'oh! Told you. The Mermaid Theory. It's a thing. You owe me 500 bucks. Marshall: Did we bet on this? Barney: Let's say yes. [END OF FLASHBACK] Robin: And that's why we never hang out alone? Yes. Marshall: As Lily's best friend, you are the last person on the planet o's allowed to turn into a mermaid. Robin: Wait, does that mean that I'm a manatee right now? Marshall: Big-time manatee. Robin: What were those sailors thinking? Marshall: Huh. I don't know. Being out at sea can do crazy things to a man. [SCENE_BREAK] On the boat Captain: Vast, the sea. Deep. Endless. Going around for miles. You could scream and scream, and not a soul would hear you. Listen to this. (screams) Help! Somebody help me! I'm trapped on a boat with a madman! Help! See? Nothing. (both laughing) Ted: He's gonna kill me. Okay, calm down, Teddy. He's not jealous. He hasn't even mentioned Zoey. Captain: So, Ted, I noticed you've been spending a lot of time with Zoey. Ted from 2030: Okay, back to Barney and Lily and whatever the hell they were fighting about. Lily: Seriously? I step away for five seconds, and you eat all my onion rings? No surprise there. Barney: What's that supposed to mean? Are you calling me fat? If there is one thing you never do, it is call a woman fat right to her face! Ted from 2030: Wait. Barney's not a woman. That's right... Barney wasn't hurt by Lily, Lily was hurt by Barney. [FLASHBACK] Lily: Want to hang? Barney: Nah. Watch out! Lily: Wow... thanks, Barney. You saved me. You saved us. [END OF FLASHBACK] Lily: If there's one thing you never do, it's call a woman fat right to her face! Ted from 2030: Okay, now I'm on track. The rest of this story should make perfect sense. The Bar Barney: Oh, Lily, I'm sorry. Hey, you want to see a magic trick? Lily: You're a jerk. Ted from 2030: Okay, that makes no sense. Kids, I'm officially admitting defeat. I will never remember this story. I'm sorry for wasting your time. On the boat Captain: Ted, let me show you my harpoon collection. Ted: Just gonna make a quick call. Hey, silly question. What are our exact nautical coordinates? Captain: How now? Oh, bother. (sighs) Well... she's a goner. By now, the icy tide has already dropped its core temperature to near freezing. And down it goes. Now it's at 50 meters. Complete crushing blackness. 100 meters. The pressure is so intense, the keys are popping right out of its head. Ted: Head? Captain: 200 meters. No one will ever find its mangled remains, save for the crustacea that feed off its lifeless husk. Can you hear me now? No. Because you're on the bottom of the sea. Ted: Well, I got a big morning, so... Dry cleaners, bank, you know, so... Captain: Ted, it's time. I have something for you. Wait here. Ted:: Okay, you got to swim for it, Mosby. Man versus sea. You can do this. You didn't get a "Good Effort" ribbon from the Shaker Heights JCC Swim Camp because you don't have what it takes. Captain: Found it. Zoey told me you're a scotch drinker. I bought this special for tonight. Ted from 2030:And just as I started to realize that maybe I wasn't in danger after all, we hit a bump. (Ted falls into the water) Captain: Ted? The restaurant Robin: you're afraid that if you spend too much time alone with me, I'll turn into a mermaid? Marshall: Yes. I mean, sure, right now, you're bald and leathery ancovered in a thick layer of blubber... Robin: Am I blushing or...? Marshall:...but at some point, my stupid male brain will transform you into a foxy fish-babe singin' "Part of Your World" to my pants. Robin: Okay, even if that happens, is there any way to un-mermaid me? Marshall: I asked Barney the same thing. [FLASHBACK] Barney: Once mermaid-ified, there's only one way a woman can go back to being unattractive again, but it's pretty gruesome. Marshall: Death? Barney: Worse. Pregnancy. If a baby's on board that train, it is headed straight back to Manatee City... where the grass ain't green and the girls ain't pretty. [END OF FLASHBACK] Robin: Pregnancy? Marshall: Mm-hmm. Once a mermaid gets pregnant, she becomes a manatee again. Never thought I'd say that sentence. Ted from 2030: Wait! That's it! That's what Barney and Lily were fighting about! The Mermaid Theory! But their argument didn't happen at the same time as all this other stuff. I'm literally in the wrong year! It happened much, much later when Lily was... pregnant. Barney: Well, Lily, I guess it's just you and me. You wanna hang? Liy: Nah. Whenever we're alone, you spend the whole time undressing me with your eyes. You even take off my shoes. Barney: High heels chafe my shoulders. But you don't have to worry about that anymore. Ever since you got pregnant, you're just a big fat manatee. Lily: Well, you're a big... stupid octopus face! Ted from 2030: That was it! I remember now! Lily: Wow. Thanks, Barney. You saved me. You saved us. If there's one thing you never do, it's call a woman "fat" right to her face! Barney: I'm sorry, Lily. Hey, you want to see a magic trick? Lily: Oh... You're a jerk. (Barney chuckles) Barney: Hey. Hey, wait. Come on. I was kid... Wait, wait, wait! There's another addendum to The Mermaid Theory. A pregnant woman who's become a manatee can become a mermaid again through one simple act. Lily:What's that? Barney: Breast-feeding. Hot. Lily: Really? Barney: Really. When those things swell up to three times their normal size... so do I. Lily: That's so sweet! Ted from 2030: See kids? Told you I'd get it! The Bar (Ted enters, wearing a green dress) Ted: Okay, now we're even! Ted from 2030: Yeah, that's the ending to a whole other story. We'll get there. On the boat Captain: So you really thought I was gonna kill you? Ted: Well... ish. Captain: Oh, Ted, that's ridiculous. If I wanted to kill you, I'd invite you to my hunting lodge. It's far more remote, and I wouldn't have to worry about you turning up in some nosy fisherman's net. Ted: See? It's stuff like that. Why-why do you talk that way? Captain: Oh, I'm just jesting for sport. See, sometimes I don't bond as well with Zoey's younger friends. But I know she really likes you. I was hoping that maybe we could be buddies. Ted: We can. We can be buddies. Just not on a boat. Captain: Fair enough. The hunting lodge it is. The appartment (Robin is really drunk) Robin, slurring: You know, once we stopped trying to have a conversation and just focused on the drinking... I had fun. Marshall: Yeah, me, too. Ted from 2030: And then a terrible thing happened. Marshall's beer goggles kicked in and his very drunk mind started to see... (Marshall begins imagining Robin as a manatee with a blond wig) Marshall: No... No, no! No! No, don't turn! Robin: Uh-oh. I don't feel so good. (She vomits) Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I am, I am so sorry! Oh! You must think I'm totally disgusting. Marshall: I really do. Ted from 2030: And from that moment on Marshall never worried about Robin becoming a mermaid again, and the two of them were closer than ever. The Bar Zoey: Hey, Ted. Ted: Hey. You feeling better? Zoey: I have a confession to make. I wasn't really sick. Ted: You weren't? Zoey: I'm sorry. I was just feeling guilty that I lied to The Captain and... I don't know, I just thought it would be good if you two spent some time together. Ted: I get it. And you were right. He's a nice guy. I mean, he can be a little scary. Zoey: Yeah, he gets a little murder-y when he's nervous. Ted: Yeah, he's a creepy dude. But I like him. And I just want to make sure you and I hanging out doesn't, you know, cross any lines. Zoey: Me, too. Ted: I mean, if either one of us had even the slightest hint of feelings for the other, we shouldn't hang out. You don't, do you? Zoey: No. Do you? Ted: No. Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. Sailor #2: It's been 243 days since we've seen another living soul. What are you looking at? Sailor #1: Dude, we need to find land.	Plan: A: Ted; Q: Who invites The Captain to hang out with them? A: Zoey; Q: Who does Ted make a new friend with? A: single men; Q: What type of men and married women can't be friends? A: her husband; Q: Who does Ted invite to hang out with him and Zoey? A: Marshall; Q: Who and Robin decide to spend time together? A: a fight; Q: What could Barney and Lily possibly have? Summary: When Ted's new friendship with Zoey tests the theory that single men and married women can't be friends, he invites her husband, "The Captain," to hang out with them. Meanwhile, Marshall and Robin decide to spend alone time together, and Barney and Lily possibly have a fight.
Act 1 THE RING Scene 1 - A Jewelry Store Fade in. Niles, Frasier and Martin enter the store. Frasier: Niles, are you sure you want to do this without Daphne? You know, when Lilith and I got engaged, she insisted on being involved with the ring selection process. Niles: I appreciate your concern, Frasier, but I want to surprise her. Martin: [pointing] How 'bout this one? It's nice and sparkly. Niles: [looking] That's an earring, Dad. Martin: Huh? Oh, I guess I better put on my glasses. Frasier: Niles, prepare to relinquish your breath. Niles: Which one? Frasier: That one right there. Niles: Next to the gaudy one? Frasier looks guilty. Niles: The GAUDY one? Frasier: All right, all right, which one do you like? Niles: I was thinking of something more along the lines of that one, with the feathered band. What do you think? Frasier: I think it's a good thing I'm here to talk you out of it. Niles: I'm think I'm starting to regret bringing you along at all. Frasier: I think it's a... A clerk comes up as they bicker. Clerk: Gentlemen, gentlemen, I'm sure we can find something that will bring you both a lifetime of happiness. Martin: [laughing] Oh, no! They're not a couple! My son Niles is here to pick out an engagement ring for his girlfriend Daphne. And Frasier, who's been married twice, just came along to help him. Clerk: I'm very sorry, I'll come back when you've had more time to look around. He walks away. Niles: Where did that come from? Frasier: I mean, REALLY! To just assume something like that, out of the blue... Both: Latent! Martin: Well you gotta admit, it wasn't such a big leap, given the situation. Frasier: And just what is that supposed to...? He stops and points at a case. Frasier: What bejeweled seraph has escaped her provenance now? Martin: I'm gonna go see if there's a line at the Orange Julius. He leaves. Frasier: Now, I have several candidates, Niles, but before you turn up your nose at this... Niles: That's it, right there. That's Daphne's ring. Frasier: The very one I was going to show you. Niles: Stylish... Frasier: Classic... Niles: Stunning... Daphne. [to the clerk] Excuse me? I'd like to see that one, please. Clerk: Excellent choice, sir. Frasier: Do you know her ring size? Niles: Oh, even better, her ring finger is exactly the same size as mine. Clerk: Well, perhaps you should try this on, then. The clerk pulls the ring out. Niles: Oh, it's... He drops the ring, Frasier bends down to pick it up. Niles: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous. I think it just hit me what this all means. Frasier lets out a groan. Niles: What happened? Frasier: Nothing, it's just my back. It's been acting up a bit in the last week. Niles: Well, here, do you want me to give you a hand up? Frasier: No, no, here's the ring, I'll just stay down here for a moment. He hands it over, and Niles clumsily tries to put it on as people stop and stare. Martin comes back in. Frasier: Does it fit? Oh, here, let me help. No, come on. Oh, Niles. Niles: Frasier, it's perfect! You know, I always dreamed this would happen! Everyone in the store smiles and begin applauding. Martin: No, wait! They're not a couple! The applause continues as Frasier and Niles, oblivious, excitedly show Martin the ring. Martin: Oh, jeez. He turns and walks back out. FADE OUT. THE WORDS Scene 2 - Cafe Nervosa Fade in. Niles is sitting at a table, reading some papers and choking up. He gets control of himself and takes a sip of coffee. Roz comes in, and he breaks down again. Roz: Hey, Niles. Niles turns the papers over. Roz: Is something wrong? Niles: No, no, I uh... Roz: Oh my God, is that Daphne's proposal? Niles: What? No, I don't, what are you... Roz: Frasier told me. Niles: That gossiping ninny! Roz: Don't worry, he swore me to secrecy. Niles: I swore HIM to secrecy! Roz: So how's it coming? Niles: I'm afraid I poured so much emotion into this speech I don't know if I can say it all without crying. Roz: Oh, that's okay. Women like a man who isn't afraid to shed a few tears. Niles: Last time I got all the way through it, I got dehydrated. Roz: Well, maybe if you cut it down a little bit, you could get through it before the waterworks start. Let me take a look? She reaches for the papers and Niles reluctantly lets go of them. Roz: Well, what about this paragraph here? I mean, aren't words like "hopeless" and "despairing" kind of a downer in a proposal? Niles: Oh, well this is where I describe my life before I met her. See, and then comes the part where she comes along and the meter changes to a more sprightly iambic: "Now-my-life-has- meaning." Things that never made sense before suddenly are clear. It's all because of this... wonderful woman. He breaks down again. Roz: It's all right. I'm sure there's other stuff we can cut. The waiter brings Roz her coffee. Roz: Thank you. Okay, like here: I mean, now do you really have to compare her to three different roses? Niles: Well, which one would you have me eliminate? The one that represents her beauty or her passion or... [breaking down again] her sense of humor... Roz: Niles, you're just making this too complicated. I mean, all we really want is for a guy to get down on one knee and say, "I love you. Will you be my... wife?" Roz breaks down, Niles hands her his handkerchief. FADE OUT. THE WINE Scene 3 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Frasier, Niles and Martin are sitting around the dining table, tasting several bottles of wine. Frasier: Excellent. Nice bite, smooth oaky blend. Niles: Mmm, lovely finish. I think this is definitely a contender. How about you, Dad? Martin: Well, this one dislodged that piece of pot roast that's been buggin' me since lunch. Frasier and Niles roll their eyes at each other. Martin: I'm sorry, Niles, I'm just not the right guy to help you pick a wine for your proposal dinner. Niles: Well, Dad, this is an important night for me, and, and I want you to play an important part. Martin: I guess it is an honor to be included. Thanks. [rising] Well, time to cleanse my palate, I'm gonna get a beer. Frasier and Niles chuckle. Martin heads to the kitchen. Niles: [leans forward] Now? Frasier: Not yet. Niles: Well, exactly how drunk does he have to get? Frasier: [pouring more wine] To agree to take Daphne's mother out while you propose to her? DRUNK, Niles. Niles: You're right. Fill 'er up. Go ahead. There is the sound of a can being dropped in the kitchen. Martin: [offstage] Whoopsy. Niles: You're sure he hasn't had enough? Frasier: Dad, what was the name of that widow you dated several years ago? CUT TO: the kitchen. Martin: You mean Claire Wojadubakowski? CUT TO: Frasier. Frasier: Not yet. Martin comes back in and sits down. Martin: Well, my taste buds are all sudsy clean. Niles: Let's dive right back in. Bottom's up. Niles and Frasier take sips from their glasses. Martin drains his full glass in one breath. Martin: Boy, I tell ya, I haven't had this much to drink since the night I proposed to your mother. Niles: Really? Martin: Yeah. That was quite a night, I was nervous as hell... Frasier: I love this story. Martin: And then she said "No." Frasier: What? I've never heard this version. Martin: Well, she wanted to get married, but she just wasn't ready. Frasier: Well, what was it that finally convinced her to say "Yes"? Martin: Oh, you don't want to know. Frasier: Well, come on, Dad, what Marty Crane magic did you weave to get her to change her mind? Martin: Actually, I didn't change her mind, Fras. You did. Frasier looks shocked, Niles bites back a smile. Frasier: Oh, dear God! He pours himself more wine. Martin: I'll never forget the look on that minister's face when your mother waddled down the aisle of Saint Barthalelamew. Did you hear what I said? I said "Barthalamar..." Niles: Dad, there's a question I've been meaning to ask you... Frasier: Niles, how can you change the subject after this bombshell? Niles looks guilty. Frasier: You knew? Niles: Well, remember that time I had the chicken pox? Mom told me to cheer me up. Frasier: Oh, go ahead. Niles: Thank you. So, uh, listen, Dad. Daphne and I, of course, want to be alone on the big night. Martin: [laughs and nudges him] Oh, yeah. Niles: And I was wondering if perhaps you could take Daphne's mother out for the evening. Martin: You want me to take out Daphne's mother?! Is that what this has all been about? Niles: No! More wine? Martin: I can't stand that woman! But if it'll help you out, sure I'll do it. I'll go out with her. Niles: Oh, Dad, thank you! I will never forget this. Martin: Forget what? Ha! Just kiddin' ya. Daphne and Mrs. Moon come in the front. Daphne: Hello, all. Niles: [rising] Hello. How was the movie? Gertrude: Not bad, considering my daughter's famous sense of direction made us forty-five minutes late. Then she got me popcorn without butter and kept shushing me, just because I can predict what people will say next in a movie. [sweetly] Hello, Marty. Martin: Ah, excuse me. Martin rushes into the kitchen. CUT TO: the kitchen as he comes in. Frasier is waiting. Martin: I need a beer! Now, now! He gets a beer from the fridge as Frasier hovers. Frasier: Dad, you know we were just talking about the fact that I was a, a guest at your wedding? Martin: Yeah? Frasier: Well, it's just the least bit startling and I have always respected you and Mother and the decisions that you made throughout your lifetime, but this information does beg one question. Dad, am I...? Martin: A year older? No. Your birthday's the same, we just faked our anniversary all these years. Frasier: [collapsing with relief] Oh, thank heavens! Martin pats him on the shoulder as Frasier lifts his glass. [SCENE_BREAK] End of Act 1 Act 2 [SCENE_BREAK] THE DIVERSION Scene 1 - The Puget Sound Ferry Fade in. Martin and Mrs. Moon are sitting in a booth near the window. Gertrude: You know, Marty, I'm not surprised you asked me out. Martin: Um, you're not? Gertrude: Oh, don't be coy. A romantic boat ride to a remote island. I know when a man's trying to seduce me. Martin: Uh, Mrs. Moon... Gertrude: Oh, it was inevitable, really. I mean, here we are, two comfortable old shoes, looking for new mates. Martin: Actually, I'm not that comfortable. Gertrude: Oh, maybe you just need someone to break you in. Peg from Martin's work walks in with a friend. Suzy: Isn't that Marty Crane, from work? Peg: Right. Suzy: Didn't you two have a thing goin' on? Peg: No, we just made out at the office party. Suzy: Then what happened? Blew you off? Peg: Actually, I think he was kind of interested. He slipped a Note in my lunch, he drove past my house, he called me a couple of times and hung up. Suzy: And you didn't do anything. What were you thinking? He's cute. Peg: He is cute, isn't he? CUT TO: Martin and Mrs. Moon. Gertrude: What a wonderful sunset. I bet you ordered it just for me, didn't you, Marty? Martin: Actually, the sun goes down almost every night. Gertrude: Oh, you! Stop making me fall in love with you. Martin: Uh, you know, I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding here. I didn't mean this to be a DATE date, more of a friendship thing. You know, I really enjoy your company... Gertrude: No, no. I should have known. [getting up] What could you possibly want with a dried-up old prune like me? Martin: [following her] You're not a dried-up old... Gertrude: Please, I don't want your pity. I'll just stand at the bar and drink all night. Even though my doctor told me one more episode could cost me me liver. Martin: Oh, now come on... Gertrude: If you want to pretend not to know me, I'll understand completely. Martin: Look, you've misunderstood what I said. Gertrude: Oh, then you don't think I'm unattractive? Martin: Unattractive? You said that, not me. CUT TO: the ladies. Suzy: It's not too late, go over there and say hello. Peg: He's with somebody! It'd be weird. Suzy: You don't have to make a play for him, just say hello. You Can tell by his reaction whether or not he's still interested. CUT TO: Martin and Mrs. Moon. He leads her to sit down. Martin: Gertrude, this is wrong. Your husband just left you, you're vulnerable. Gertrude: I'm not vulnerable. I'm ripe and receptive. Martin: Okay, I'll tell you the truth. You know, I was shot, right? Gertrude: Yes, in the hip. Martin: Except that the damage wasn't confined to the hip. There were fragments that traveled... south. Gertrude: Ohhh. You mean...? Martin: Yep. Gertrude: Yes, but you can still... Martin: Nope. Gertrude: But they have pills now... Martin: Nope. Gertrude: Acupuncture? Martin: Ooh! Don't remind me! He crosses his legs. Martin: No, the sad fact is, it just doesn't work. Peg comes walking up behind him. Martin: I have absolutely no sexual feeling in my groin area, period. Gertrude: Oh, Marty, that's terrible. Oh, I am sorry I brought it up. Martin: Oh, that's all right, no harm done. Peg absorbs this, turns around and walks away. FADE OUT. [N.B. This is the first time we learn Mrs. Moon's Christian name.] Scene 2 - Niles' Apartment at the Montana Fade in. Frasier is in the kitchen, hovering over the shoulder of Wolfgang Puck, who is cooking the proposal dinner. [N.B. Puck was also a guest voice in [8.08] "Mary Christmas."] Frasier: Excuse me, Mr. Puck? Wolfgang turns with a frustrated look and slams his spatula down. Obviously this is not the first such interruption Frasier has made. Wolfgang: Yes, Dr. Crane? Frasier: I, I couldn't help noticing, the crab cakes are getting just a bit... brown. Wolfgang: They're getting beautifully crunchy. Frasier: I see. Because when I said "brown" I actually meant more like "black"... like "burned." Wolfgang: They're Cajun. Niles comes in. Niles: Is everything all right in here? Wolfgang: With the food, no problem. [motions at Frasier] Niles smacks Frasier on the shoulder. Frasier: Everything's under control, Niles, we're all set. You just relax, okay? Niles: I can't believe it, I've worked so hard to make everything perfect for Daphne and now the moment is... almost... [sniffing] do I smell burning crab? Wolfgang: It's Cajun! The doorbell rings. Niles: It's her! Frasier: Go! God speed! Niles hurries out. CUT TO: the living room as he crosses to the front door. There are a number of people waiting on the stairs. Niles: Everyone, everyone, places, places! They hurry up the stairs as he continues to the door. Niles: Coming, my sweet! He gets to the door, but continues to stamp his feet until the others are out of sight. Then he opens the door to reveal Daphne, looking quite haggard. Niles: Are you all right? Daphne: Don't touch me, I have the flu. Niles: Oh, you poor dear. Here, here, here, come here. Sit right down here until we're ready to eat. He leads her over to the couch. Daphne: I can't eat. I need me mouth to breathe. I hope you didn't go to too much trouble with dinner. Niles glances at the kitchen door. Niles: Oh, no, no. I uh... Hey, you know what? A good cup of tea and you'll be rallying in no time. [rising] You'll never guess what I have planned for tonight. Daphne: All I want to do is stuff Kleenex up me nose, collapse on the couch and pray for death. She lays back. Niles: Keep guessing. Daphne: I'm sorry, Niles. Niles: Oh, that's all right. You lie here. I'll go heat up some soup in the kitchen. He heads for the kitchen. CUT TO: the kitchen. Niles: Dinner's off. Wolfgang: [turning] What did you say? Frasier: Look, Niles, even if the crab cakes are a total write-off, we can still salvage a meal... Niles: No, no. Daphne's sick. Oh, oh, Wolfgang. Could you open up a can of plain chicken broth and heat it up for me? Wolfgang looks at him in disbelief, then turns back to the stove, shaking his head. Frasier: You're just canceling everything? The choir, the string quartet, the dry ice? Niles: Yes, all of it. I want this proposal to be the greatest night of Daphne's life. What's the point of doing it if she's too sick to enjoy it? Frasier: Yes, but we spent weeks pulling all of this together. Niles: Well, we'll just get everybody back sometime when she's feeling better. Wolfgang: [muttering] Not everybody. Niles: All right, all right, listen. I'll take Daphne into the guest room to lie down so you can get everyone out of here. Just be quiet, I don't want to spoil the surprise for next time. Frasier: Rest assured, she won't suspect a thing. Daphne: [from the other room] Niles? I think there's a bird loose in here. Niles pauses in confusion, then stares at Frasier. Frasier: [guiltily] I thought doves might be a nice addition. Niles rushes out. CUT TO: the living room as he comes in. Daphne: It looked like a dove. Niles: Oh, I think your fever is causing you to hallucinate. He covers her eyes with his hand and grabs at a feather wafting down. Niles: [loudly] Come along, let's take you to the guest room for a good lie down. Daphne: [rising] Why are you yelling? Niles: Because your ears are all stuffed up. Daphne: No, they're not. Niles: They're not? Oh, maybe mine are. Gee, I hope I'm not getting what you have. After they exit, Frasier comes in from the kitchen. He puts on his jacket, goes to the middle of the room and quietly claps his hands. People appear at the book landing, on the staircase, in the dining nook and two short people dressed as angels come from under the table. Frasier: Shh, shh, everyone! Very quietly, I have an announcement to make. I'm terribly sorry, but tonight's festivities have been indefinitely postponed, due to illness. All the people groan. One of the angels speaks up. Angel: But we still get paid, right? Frasier: Yes, you still get paid. Now, I need all of you to file, quickly and quietly, out the front door. It is imperative that the young lady not know any of you were ever here. Daphne: [from off stage] I'm telling you, that room has a draft. Frasier: Hit the dirt! Everyone hides behind things as Daphne and Niles come back. Daphne: [o.s] Why can't we sit in the living room and build a nice fire? Niles: [as they come in] No, no, no, we can't go in the living room, it... has... that... [looking around] of course we can go in the living room and have a nice fire! Come here and sit down. Do you want to borrow my pajamas? She sits on the couch in front of the fireplace. Throughout the following conversation, Frasier, who is crouched by the front door, directs the hidden people out with commando-style hand signals. At each moment it looks like one of them might turn, Frasier gestures for everyone to freeze and swings the door shut, then opens it again and shoos them out. Daphne: No, I feel silly in those, they're so big and baggy. Niles: I'm the only one here who's gonna see you. As Niles bends over and tries to ignite the fire, Frasier uses the clicking of the flint as cover, as he frantically gestures for the first group of people to crawl out the door. As they do, another small group crawls from the dining area and hides behind the living room furniture. Niles: Oh, how about some tea? Daphne: Not now. He tries to ignite the fire again, and Frasier motions the next group out, while signaling to the group further back and pointing to the living room floor. As the clicking stops, Frasier clenches his fist, meaning "stop." Niles: Oh, I have some of those raspberry candies you like. Daphne: [pats the arm of the couch] No, you stay right here next to me, Niles Crane. As he sits, she lets out a big sneeze and Niles edges away from her. Frasier motions the next group out, and the last group forward, pointing to his eyes to tell them to stay alert. Niles: Get you a blanket, you'll catch a chill, darling. Get you all comfy. Daphne: Oh, I'm sorry I ruined our evening. Niles: Oh, you did nothing of the sort. He kneels in front of her. Daphne: I don't know what I did to deserve you. Niles: You kidding? I got the better end of this deal. Daphne: Oh, yeah, look at me: nose running, hair a mess, I must look a real fright. She has another sneezing fit and Frasier hurries the last people out and closes the door. He starts to crawl back towards the kitchen, then notices a server back in the dining nook. He starts, then gestures for the man to come out. The server shakes his head, wide-eyed. Frasier gestures firmly, anger in his eyes, but the server shakes his head again. Frasier gets down on his knees and elbows and crawls commando-style across the floor, like it's a fire zone. Niles: You are simply the most adorable creature I have ever seen on this Earth. Daphne: Oh, I'm sure. Niles: No, I mean it. From your beautiful toes all the way up to your crusty nose, there's not an inch of you that I don't adore. Frasier stops at the staircase and points to the server, directing him out. The server hunches over and rushes to the door. Niles: You know, it's funny. You could take a million years to plan the perfect evening, and you'd never come up with this. Daphne, I have to ask you a question. Frasier looks up at this. Daphne: Hold on. She takes a tissue and blows her nose, long and loud. Frasier takes the opportunity to hide behind the staircase. Daphne stops, takes a breath and blows some more. Daphne: You were saying? Niles reaches in his pocket and takes out the ring. Niles: Daphne Moon, will you, and your beautiful toes and your exquisite ankles and your precious knees, elbows and arms and fingers, shoulders... [holds up the ring] Will you marry me? Daphne: ...Oh, Niles! Of course I will. She throws her arms around him. Frasier holds his hand to his mouth as he chokes up. At the landing at the top of the stairs, a "royal trumpeter" comes out, mistaking Daphne's acceptance for his cue. As he lifts his horn to his lips, Frasier rushes up the stairs and takes him down with a flying tackle, preserving the silence. Niles slips the ring on Daphne's finger. FADE OUT. [SCENE_BREAK] As Niles and Daphne cuddle on the couch, Frasier comes from the kitchen. Wolfgang Puck, gagged and still holding one of his pans, is slung over his shoulder. Frasier takes him to the front, deposits him outside the door and checks to make sure he wasn't seen, closing the door behind him. Daphne looks up, apparently hearing the bird again. Niles looks, then shrugs. They kiss and she lays back down against his shoulder.	Plan: A: Frasier; Q: Who helps Niles choose a ring? A: Roz; Q: Who advises Niles on what to say? A: even Martin; Q: Who takes part in the wine tasting? A: several glasses; Q: How many glasses of wine does Martin drink before he discovers why Niles wants him to take Daphne's mother out for the evening? A: the evening; Q: Martin is reluctantly asked to take Daphne's mother out for what? A: Gertrude's amorous advances; Q: What does Martin have to fend off when he takes Daphne's mother out for the evening? A: Niles' apartment; Q: Where are Niles and Frasier planning to propose to Daphne? A: Wolfgang Puck; Q: Who is preparing dinner for Daphne and Niles? A: the flu; Q: What illness does Daphne have? A: numerous participants; Q: How many people does Frasier have to smuggle out of the apartment? A: time; Q: What do Daphne and Niles spend together despite her being ill? Summary: Niles is planning to propose to Daphne, and he wants everything to be just perfect. Frasier helps him to choose a ring; Roz advises him on what (and what not) to say; and even Martin takes part in the wine-tasting, although after several glasses he discovers why, when Niles asks him to take Daphne's mother out for the evening. He reluctantly agrees, and has to spend the evening fending off Gertrude's amorous advances. Meanwhile, while Frasier and Niles are arranging everything at Niles' apartment, and Wolfgang Puck is preparing dinner for them, Daphne arrives in a terrible state and announces that she has the flu . Suddenly, Frasier has to smuggle numerous participants out of the apartment unseen, but Niles soon realises that the event itself need not be postponed. Ultimately, Niles proposes to Daphne and she accepts, and they both spend time together despite her being ill.
SCENE: Storybrooke Clock Tower. Present. Night. Tamara and Greg Mendell are present, along with Hook, at the moment in a sack. Hook: Actually, I prefer it with the lights on. (Greg and Tamara remove the bag.) I've spent enough time below deck to not be afraid of the dark, so if this is your idea of torture, well you're just gonna have to try a little harder. Greg: Torture you? No, we just want to offer you a job. Hook: Oh. And then you're gonna let me go? (He laughs) Oh, I'm sorry, I already did that last job. I killed Rumplestiltskin. I'm sated. Replete. My life's purpose met. Tamara: I wish I could have been there, to see you stab the Dark One. Hook: Well, look who's up to speed. Tamara: I'm a quick learner. Hook: Then you know my work is done! Greg: Yeah, I don't think so. Take a look. (He and Tamara push the chair Hook is tied to over to the window, and hand him a telescope. Through it, Hook can clearly see Mr. Gold walking with Lacey). Hook: No. No! Tamara: He's alive, Hook. Greg: He beat you. Now this guy has some powerful magic here, mate. He's untouchable. You'll never get another chance to take him down. Hook: Oh, I will. I will indeed. Tamara: Not unless we help you. Hook: How can you help me? Tamara: We know how to kill magical creatures. Hook: And the price? Greg: I need you to help me find someone. My father. He was taken in this town a long time ago. Hook: Why the bloody hell do you think I'll be able to help you find your father? Greg: Because you know the woman who took him-- Regina. Do we have a deal? SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Queen Regina and two of her knights, Berkley and Rivers enter a barn. Berkley: It's empty, Your Majesty, Queen Regina: Thank you, Berkley. I can see that. Snow White was hiding here, and now she's gone. Someone must have tipped her off and she ran. Fan out and bring me the villagers! (Scene shifts to the Queen standing in front of the people of the village.) Snow White has betrayed you. She poisoned her own father-my dear husband, your benevolent King-so she can try to ascend the throne herself. She even now stalks the outer villages! Bandit, murderer, and traitor. Information leading to Snow's capture will be richly rewarded. (Silence.) No one? Not one of you wants gold? No? You're telling me she lived here, and not one of you saw her?! (Turns to Berkley.) Berkley: What shall we do now, Your Majesty? Queen Regina: Kill them all. No mercy. Find me Snow White. SCENE: Storybrooke Harbor. Present. Night. David Nolan and Mary Margaret Blanchard are talking while, unbeknownst to them, a fisherman listens in. Mary Margaret: If, we're going back to the Enchanted Forest, are we really going to leave Regina behind? David: She's too dangerous to bring with us. We have to leave her. Mary Margaret: But... Henry won't like it. She is his mother, despite all the horrors. David: Mary Margaret, those horrors will continue. Do you wanna give her another chance, because every time we do, she-- Mary Margaret: She slips, I know. What do we do? David: Instead of a second chance, we give her a choice-come back, live out her days in Rumple's cell, or stay here. (The fisherman who has been listening in is engulfed in magic smoke, revealing to be Regina in disguise.) [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: Jail cell? I don't think so. SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. The Dark Palace. Queen Regina enters the parlor, where Rumplestiltskin is waiting for her. Queen Regina: Rumplestiltskin! Rumplestiltskin: Well, it seems you've taken to power quite well. Gives your cheeks a nice rosy color. Queen Regina: I don't understand them. I offer these peasants a fortune, and they still protect Snow White! Why are they loyal to her and not me? I am their Queen! Rumplestiltskin: You did just slaughter an entire village. Maybe that's why they call you the "Evil Queen"! Queen Regina: I am not evil. They call me that because of her! She's the evil one! Rumplestiltskin: They're her people, dearie. You're gonna have to be content with the fear. They'll never love you. Queen Regina: They will. When she is gone, when Snow is dead, then they will see my kindness. Rumplestiltskin: Through the charred remains of their homes. I'm sure that will be perfectly clear. Queen Regina: Well, in time it will be. Her death will allow it. And I'm going to find her. Apparently I have to do it myself. Rumplestiltskin: Well, in that outfit, finding her should be easy. Queen Regina: (Gasps) Teach me my mother's shape-shifting spell. Allow me to hide. Rumplestiltskin: It took your mother months to learn that. You? Well, in a week, you'll be able to, uh, change your hair? Highlights? Maybe. Queen Regina: If I can't do the spell, you can. Put it on me. Rumplestiltskin: If I do, you won't control it. And you won't have any magic while the spell is working. Queen Regina: I won't need magic. Just as long as I can get close enough to snap her neck with my bare hands. Rumplestiltskin: I can see you're determined. An when the deed is done, call upon me. Only I can return you to your regal self. Queen Regina: Hold on. What's the price? Rumplestiltskin: Boring matter of state. I need you to cut off all trade with King George's realm. Queen Regina: King George? Why? Rumplestiltskin: I need him to bankrupt! What's it to you? Queen Regina: Fine. Fine! Just do it. Time is of the essence. (In a cloud of purple smoke, Rumplestiltskin transforms the Queen into a peasant woman, complete with the rags.) I don't feel any different, other than these ghastly rags. (Rumplestiltskin leads her over to her mirror.) Rumplestiltskin: This is what the world will see. Queen Regina: (Regina looks in the mirror and sees that she looks completely different) Excellent! I'm about as regal as a potato. Rumplestiltskin: Careful, dearie. A Queen strutting amongst peasants might not like what she hears. Queen Regina: Won't matter. When I'm done, they'll be singing my praises over her smoldering, villainous remains. SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Morning. Regina enters and walks up to Henry, who is working on a bird feeder. Regina: Good morning, Henry. Henry: Um, what are you doing here? Regina: I've missed you. And I wanted to show you something. (She takes a magic bean out from her pocket.) Emma and Mary Margaret and David have been keeping this from you, darling. They've been growing magic beans in secret. They want to take you to the Enchanted Forest, without me. Henry: Maybe we're all going and they just haven't told you yet? Regina: No, they won't let me help. They don't see the good in me. The good you've seen. All they see is the Evil Queen, which they made me. And I don't want to be that any more. This is my chance to go back and start over, for me to be the hero. And you'd like that, right? Henry: I--I'd love it. Regina: Here's how it will work-there's a fail-safe built into the curse, a trigger. Henry: Like a self-destruct button. Like you never did it? Regina: Yes. It's the next best thing to turning back time. Henry: That's amazing. What happens to Storybrooke? Regina: It disappears. Forever. But no need to worry, dear. We can get away first, back to the Enchanted Forest, using this. Henry: But, what about everyone else? Regina: They die. Henry: What?! Regina: I don't have any other choice. As long as there are other people in our lives, you can never fully be mine. You loved me once. With them gone, you'll love me again. And you can see me for what I truly am-a hero. Henry: Not if you kill everyone. You're a villain! Regina: Me? They're the ones that have been keeping us apart, they're the villains! Henry: How I can I ever love anyone who would do such horrible things? Why would you even tell me this? Regina: Because I don't have anyone else to talk to. Henry: Well I'm gonna stop you. Regina: Everything I just said will come to pass. (Regina takes her spell book out of her bag) Henry: Never! Why would I let you do any of this? Regina: Because you won't remember a thing. (She casts a spell on Henry, causing him to forget everything Regina just told him) Henry: Mom. What are you doing here? Regina: (laughs and shrugs) Just came to say hello. I've missed you. Why don't you show me that bird feeder. (Henry walks over to his feeder and opens the lid) I'm sure it will make the birds very happy. SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Queen Regina, now disguised, is walking through a trader's market. She comes to a booth where a man is advertising a game that allows citizens to throw darts at a model of the queen. Carny: Step right up folks, step right up. Try your luck folks, try your luck. Here we go. Come on now, don't be shy! Queen Regina: That-that's the Queen. Carny: It's the evilQueen! Step right up and sink an arrow into her heart. Queen Regina: That's not right. Carny: Well it's fixed actually, you can't hit the queen in the heart. Because she ain't got one! (Bystanders laugh) Peasant Boy: (Getting ready to through an arrow) Kill the evil queen! (Throws the arrow, which lands in the models heart.) Queen Regina: How could you do that? She's your queen! Peasant Boy: Snow White should be our queen. Queen Regina: Snow White is a bandit. A murderer and a menace. (People in the crowd shake their heads) Carny: Lies. The Queen's evil. Queen Regina: And you don't know her. Peasant Boy: Thank my luck stars for that. Let's burn her! (The crowd cheers) Queen Regina: No! No! This is treason. I won't stand for it! (She jumps onto the stage and grabs the flaming torch from the peasant boy) Royal Guard: (whistles) Away! Move it! Queen Regina: It's about time! Where were you? Berkley: You do this? Queen Regina: Of course not, I was trying to stop it. Berkley: Is that what it looks like to you? Rivers: It looks to me like some dirty slag is defacing an effigy of our Queen! Well fair play to you, miss! It looks just like her. (Berkley laughs) Queen Regina: How dare you? I'll have your head for that, Rivers. Berkley: She knows your name! How dare you address a knight of the Queen's guard thusly? Queen Regina: I know your name you idiots, because I am the Queen. (she removes her shawl. She attempts to use magic, but finds that she can't. The knights laugh and grab hold of her) I am the queen! I can prove it! Let go of me, Berkley! SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Regina is in her office studying the beans that she stole from the bean fields. She hears the door open, and she goes to look who entered her office--Hook. Regina: Captain! You look like you've had a rough time. Hook: Indeed I have. I've come to ask you for your protection. Regina: From Gold? I'm surprised you'd show your face in this town after you noticed your murder didn't take. Hook: Well we've got bigger problems. That man Greg Mendell, the one who hit me the night I shot Belle, well he's in league with some woman. She abducted me in New York and dragged me back to Mendell. They want me to make an alliance with you, and then betray you. That's why they let me go. Well I say that you and I make an alliance, and we'll skip the unpleasant betrayal business. Regina: Why should I trust you? Hook: I took up with your mother for a reason. Perhaps the three of us could reestablish in our alliance. Regina: My mother died. Hook: That is sad news indeed. I'm sorry, she will be missed. But I tell you this, Regina. I knew her well enough to know what she wanted most in the world was to see you win. Now I failed in my revenge. The best tribute I could give her is to help you with yours. Regina: Let me show you something. Hook: An escape plan? Oh, she would have loved that. She brought that giant for the beans so she could go back and start over with you. Regina: And now I'm going to do that with Henry. If you'll help me. This is how we're going to escape the total destruction of Storybrooke. If I can trust you. Hook: Now when you say total destruction, including the crocodile, yes? Regina: Oh, yes. Rumplestiltskin will die. If you help me. SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Granny's Diner. A waitress is handing Tamara a to go bag for Neal. Waitress: Here you go. Tamara: No mayo, right? Waitress: Right. (Tamara is about to leave when she crashes into Emma.) Emma: Ohh! I'm so sorry. I'm - He still hates mayo, huh? (While helping Tamara pick up her things, she finds a list with the names of nearly everyone in town and their respective Storybrooke counterparts.) Tamara: Avoids it like the plague. (Takes the list and puts it in her purse.) Emma: How are you doing here in Storybrooke? I mean, it's a lot to take in. Tamara: Understatement. (Both women laugh) But, uh, I guess you know that better than anyone. Emma: Yeah, I guess it's true. But I had Henry. He got me through it. Tamara: Yeah. Right. Neal's doing the same for me. Emma: Even so, it's pretty crazy here. If the world found out about this place, do you know what that would mean for Henry or Neal? Tamara: Look, Emma, you don't have to worry. You can trust me. Emma: That's good to know. Tamara: I'll be seeing you later. Emma: Yeah, I'll be seeing you.(Tamara exits.) SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Mary Margaret's Apartment. Emma is talking, somewhat loudly, to Mary Margaret about what happened at the diner. Emma: I'm telling you, Tamara is the "she" August was trying to warn us about. Mary Margaret: Emma! Shh! Emma: What? Don't "Emma" me! Mary Margaret: (Lowered voice) Henry is upstairs. Look, I know this has been hard for you. Emma: No. This isn't about me. This is about August. He died trying to warn us about someone. A woman. "She". Tamara has a list of people who live here, what their fairytale names are. Doesn't that worry you? Mary Margaret: There could be a million different explanations for what you saw. Emma: We don't know anything about her. And she lied to me. When she said I could trust her, she lied. Mary Margaret: Your "superpower" has been known to be unreliable, Emma. Especially when you're emotional. Emma: For the last time, I do not have feelings for Neal! That was over a decade ago! I'm over it! Mary Margaret: Well, that may be. But if you tell Henry that you think his dad's fiancée may be up to something, then Henry's gonna think that there's a chance his parents could get back together. So keep it to yourself. Please. Till you know something more. (She exits. Emma then turns around to find Henry standing right in front of her.) Henry: So... we're back in business? I heard everything. Emma: (Shocked.) I thought you were in the shower. Henry: Exactly. Operation Cobra's back on. We're investigating Tamara, right? Emma: Get your coat... SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Storybrooke Library. Hook and Regina enter and walk over to the elevator. Hook: This why it's a two-man job? You need me to lower you? Regina: No. Used to be... before magic. (She magically operates the elevator and she and Hook enter.) (Whoosh) (Gears clicking) (Metal creaking) (Metal clanks) (Whoosh) (Gears clicking) I... I hired you a year ago, despite your drunkenness! And you! You... uhh! (Chickens cluck) I had you flogged last spring for lateness! How would I know that? I'm not liking her any better. Let's cut off her head. Uhh! Rumplestiltskin! (Arrow whooshes) Uhh! Aah! Aah! (Blade zings) Uhh! Aah! Uhh! (Swords clank) (Grunts) (Regina) Aah! Oh! (Grunting) (Groans) (Gasps) Rump... (Clenched teeth) Snow. (Thud) (Crowd gasps) (Crowd murmuring) (Elevator whirs, clanks) You ever wonder if this constant pursuit for revenge is the reason we have no one who cares for us? I mean, when all this is over, and I know the Crocodile is dead, for good and all, I'll have nothing to look forward to. My life will be empty. Revenge may sate your being, but don't misunderstand me, my dear. It's an end, not a beginning. For you, maybe. Not me. I have Henry. And destroying Storybrooke? Well... that seems like a small price to pay to allow us to live in peace. [SCENE_BREAK] (Water dripping) Where did you get that? It belonged to my mother. Yes. Well, she enchanted it so I could climb the beanstalk in our world. She, uh... I don't care why she gave it to you. It was hers, and I want it back. You plan to blow this town off the map, and you're worried about a scrap of cowhide? She was my mother. Well, she was my friend. Hardly. Oh. (Inhales deeply) Now follow me closely. Precarious. You couldn't have just hid the trigger in the back of your wardrobe? (Chuckles) It had to be both well-hidden and well-guarded. I put it somewhere no one would ever think I'd go. You know, you say well-guarded... Who's guarding it? A friend. She's been through a lot. There's a powerful spell here that sustains her in... whatever form she's in. In fact, Hook, she's the reason why this is a man job. And what exactly am I here to do? I'll get the trigger. And you? Well... you're the distraction. What? (Grunts) Uhh! Uhh! (Pants and groans) (Whooshing and wind howling) (Screeching) (Screeches) Maleficent. Love you in earth tones. (Screeches) (Blade zings) (Roars) Uhh! (Screeching) (Screeches) (Roars) (Panting) (Roars) (Glass shatters) (Birds chirping) (Gasps) Don't move. (Whispers) You need to lie still. You have a fever. Dirty blade'll do that. Ooh. Snow White. What's your name, honey? (Inhales deeply) Wilma. My family works in the mills. Nice to meet you, Wilma. You're going to live, by the way. How long... (Groans) How long till I can get up? Two days? Picked a good place for it, though. Fresh water, healing herbs, some not-bad hunting if you don't mind killing the royal livestock, which I don't. You don't know how to do that. Oh, I... I... I mean, um... you were a princess. Someone from another forest taught me. It's a long story. (Utensil clatters) There are people hunting for you. It's dangerous for you to be here. Why are you helping a perfect stranger? I'm going to bathe your wound, but it's going to hurt. So... just listen to me. Okay? It's easier if you're distracted. (Gasps) When I was younger, the horse I was riding ran away with me. I was about to be thrown. I would've been killed. (Inhales sharply) This woman... she had no idea who I was. She came charging in after me. (Inhales sharply) She saved me. She risked her own life. It changed me. My mother always told me to keep goodness in my heart, and this woman proved that she was right. (Inhales sharply) You okay? I'm good. I'm listening. It... it changed you? (Whispers) Yes. It taught me that there can be this genuine, selfless connection between people, even strangers. There. I'm done. What happened to her? The stranger? She's gone. Oh, but I hope she comes back someday. Operation Cobra was about breaking the curse. This is about keeping Storybrooke secret. We need a new name. Operation Tiger. Why? I need a why? You never need a why. I want something like the town, something that hides in plain sight. Something like a praying mantis. (Door bells jingle in distance) Oh! Duck. Oh. No, it's not them. Stakeouts are fun. (Mouth full) - Not usually. But this one? Yeah, kinda. I thought by now we'd be having adventures. Over there, you know? Riding horses, shooting bow and arrows. This is cool, too. Is that still something you want? I mean, if there was a way to... go back to the enchanted forest? Is there? No, don't be crazy. There is. A way back. The... a bean or something. The giant brought it, didn't he? You are a smart kid. That's awesome! We could get, like, a castle... you, me, and Neal. Oh, hey, whoa. No way. That... we're not... that's not... Duck! Operation Praying Mantis is on. (Metal clinks) (Lowered voice) Hang on. I almost got it. So once we find proof that Tamara's evil, I guess the wedding's off? Henry... Neal and I are not getting back together. You know that, right? I mean, once he's single, it could happen. Thrown together, moonlight, wine... Listen to me, Henry. I am onto Tamara for other reasons, not because she's with Neal, okay? (Whispers) Go. Go, go, go. (Lock clicks) (Whispers) Ah! Yes! (Door creaks) Unh-unh! Unh-unh! You gotta be the lookout. But... but what do I do? Whistle? No, that's too obvious. You gotta hit the door. You know, like, just like... (Thumps door) like, kick it like you're bored. Like... (Kicks door twice) Or, like, stumble into it. (Thumps door) Like, oh, I'm... you know? Just hit the door, okay? Hit the door. Yeah. Got it. Now go. (Doors creak) (Hangers clatter) (Floorboard creaks) (Creaks) Gotcha. Uh? Hey, Henry. (Thumps door) What... (Henry mutters) (Thumps door) Uh... Oh, hell no. I taught her that. Emma! (Rattles) Mm. (Door creaks) So you weren't here, and the door was open, and we just... (Sighs) Emma, what's... what's this about? Tamara. I think she's playing you. She's playing me? How? I think she's the "she" August was trying to warn us about. I didn't wanna tell you until I had proof. Oh. (Chuckles) Okay, yeah. Well, as long as you broke into our room to spare my feelings... Are you out of your mind? He warned us about a woman. Yeah, which covers half the world. You roped the kid into this? She lied to me. Remember I had that thing with lies? You thought you had a thing with lies. I never bought it. Yeah, you did. Listen to me, Neal. She's got a list of fairy tale characters and who they are... whoever she's gonna give that to that could blow this whole town right open. Emma, I helped her make that list. It was to help her come to grips with this place. It's not easy, you know? I mean, she's trying to deal with it for me. Okay, I know what this looks like, but it isn't that. Do I look like a jealous ex? Okay, maybe I'm crazy. But let's find out. There's a floorboard loose. It shouldn't be. So let's look under it. If there's nothing there, fine. I back off. Okay. Yeah, sure. What the hell? (Clears throat) A little help? Oh. Right. (Creaks) (Clears throat) Oh. (Inhales deeply) Listen. I know Tamara being here is a little awkward... Don't. Henry, let's go. (Liquid trickling, steam hissing) (Regina groans) (Sighs) Morning already? (Scoffs) We have one every day. Well, you look better. I think you slept off the last of it. Yeah, I think I did. Mm. You don't waste any time. Oh. Noises in the woods. Maybe a patrol. We stayed too long. (Sword clatters) You're arming me? Well, just in case. Her soldiers are ruthless. Stay behind me. (Crow cawing) (Blade zings softly) (Whooshes softly) If the stories are to be believed, the Queen sent the huntsman to tear your heart out. She did. How horrible. If you had her in front of you now... would you kill her for that? Regina wants to hurt people. I think she's in constant pain and is always looking to figure out whom to blame for it. We lived in the same household, and still, she could never see that I was on her side. She wanted revenge more than she wanted love. And I can't imagine living that way. I want to be guided by love. So, no, I wouldn't kill her. No one's that generous. People aren't that good. Oh, I think they are... even her. She's just afraid to look vulnerable. You... you believe there's good inside there? I know there is. I've seen it. I wish she'd give herself a chance to be that person again. You don't think it's too late for her? Oh, I don't think it's too late for anyone. So if she... if she wanted to change, if she wanted to be a family again, if she... wanted to be good, would you forgive her for that? Would you let her back in? If she really meant it, yes. I would love that. I wouldn't mind a feather bed either, but neither one is happening. So there's no use thinking about it. She wouldn't offer. Well, sometimes people can surprise you. (Flies buzzing) (Whispers) No. We've gone further than I thought. (Voice breaking) These people are dead because... they helped me. No. You didn't do this. Oh, I know. She did it. I take it back. It is too late for her. I could never forgive her. There is no good in that woman. None. I was wrong. There never was. What about when she rescued you? The horse. (Whispers) What are you talking about? Your story, about being saved. I never said it was her. I read between the lines. (Clank) It was you. Regina, your dark magic is hiding you somehow, but it is you. Yes, it is me. But there is good in me. If this is your idea of "good"... I want no part of it. (Whispers) Damn. Rumplestiltskin! (Sword clatters) (Exhales) (Sighs) (Whirring) (Gasps) How? Startling, aren't I? Some people say "striking." You couldn't have survived that. Well, you should know by now the one thing I excel at is surviving. The amazing thing is, you almost had me. All that stuff about a fresh, clean start, just killing 'em and movin' on... it kinda touched me. For a moment there, I thought we had a real connection. And honestly, I almost put a stop to my plan. Your plan? Well, their plan, but I fancied it. And they did save me from that wretched... whatever maleficent is. (Door opens) Do you, uh, know these two? (Door closes) Well, they have a way with magic. Or should I say, a way against magic. Enough of this. (Mouths word) Yeah, sorry. That's not gonna work. Not anymore. You know, I believe you about Tamara. You should, 'cause I'm right. And when we prove it, we can all go back to the Enchanted Forest. (Turns off engine) You know, when we get back, Leroy, we're going to need your help restoring the palace. It's in pretty bad shape. Cosmetic or a total teardown? Burn down. (Whoosh) No. What happened here? The beans... they're gone. (Breathing heavily) Nobody steals from a dwarf. Who would do this? (Doors creak) Why didn't you come when I called you? Sorry, dearie. Do I know you? I already have a maid. Promising girl, actually. You know who I am. You were supposed to come change me back. (Giggles) Was I? I said you could call. Didn't say I'd answer. Ugh! (Fabric whooshes) (Coughs) Oh! Have the peasants no soap then? Will you just take this damn spell off me? I want my magic back, and I wanna be able to get into my own damn castle, thank you very much. Aw. Told you it wouldn't be pleasant. You wanna hear you were right? Is that it? Huh? Well, you were right. Oh, I like that. Right about what? They'll never love me. So sad and yet so true. What are you gonna do now, then? Punish them. (Giggles) (Whoosh) (Inhales deeply) (Exhales deeply) The Queen is dead. Long live... The Evil Queen. (Gasps) The cuff. You gave me this. No, you rather insisted. You knew I would want it. True. They rigged it with something that blocks your magic. It's impressive. So little bitty Owen does grown-up magic of his own now. It's not magic. Actually, this is something much better... science. You... you can stop doing that. It's not gonna work. You might be able to get rid of the leather, but inside are the toughest metals and machinery known to man, and right now they're counteracting every magic bone in your body. Which one was she? Uh, she was the... the Queen. The Evil Queen. Yes. I was... the Queen. But now... here... you're nothing. And what are you? I'm... I'm just a man... a man on a mission. And all this just to try to find your father. I already told you, I don't know where... Yes, you do. But that's not my mission. Then what is? I'm not telling you. Bag her. (Fabric whooshes)	Plan: A: Hook; Q: Who helps Regina put a plan in motion? A: a plan; Q: What does Regina try to put in motion to help transport herself and Henry back to Fairytale land? A: the curse; Q: What is the fail-safe that Regina's plan revolves around planted within? A: the map; Q: What could Storybrooke be wiped off of if the fail-safe is triggered? A: Emma; Q: Who has suspicions about Tamara? A: an unrecognizable peasant; Q: What does the Evil Queen ask Rumplestiltskin to transform her into? A: an unsuspecting Snow White; Q: Who does the Evil Queen want to kill? A: her subjects; Q: Who does the Evil Queen want to earn the love and respect of? Summary: With the aid of Hook, Regina attempts to put a plan in motion that will help transport herself and Henry back to Fairytale land. But her plan revolves around a fail-safe that was planted within the curse, which if triggered could wipe Storybrooke off the map - and kill all of its inhabitants; and Emma's suspicions about Tamara grow. Meanwhile, in the fairytale land that was, the Evil Queen asks Rumplestiltskin to transform her into an unrecognizable peasant in order to kill an unsuspecting Snow White, with the twisted aim of earning the love and respect of her subjects.
SNAKEDANCE BY: CHRISTOPHER BAILEY Part One First Air Date: 18 January 1983 Running time: 24:26 [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: Well? DOCTOR: We're not where we're supposed to be. NYSSA: Where are we? DOCTOR: I don't know. There are traces of anti-matter. NYSSA: Omega? DOCTOR: Oh, highly unlikely he's still alive. It's not a navigational malfunction either. NYSSA: Shall I wake Tegan? DOCTOR: No, no, there's no danger, although it's puzzling. It's very puzzling. NYSSA: (reads) Planet G139901KB in the Scrampus system. Local name, Manussa. Type 314S. Inhabited. Atmosphere ninety eight percent Terra normal, gravity ninety six percent Terra normal. DOCTOR: Well, at least we can breath the air. I suppose that's something. You look different. NYSSA: Yes, Doctor. DOCTOR: The question is, how did we get here? NYSSA: There's more. (reads) Third planet in the Federation system. Status, colony. Former homeworld Manussan Empire, destroyed. Former homeworld Sumaran Empire, destroyed. Present economy, subsistence agriculture and tourism. DOCTOR: Former homeworld? NYSSA: Manussan Empire. DOCTOR: No, no, the other one. NYSSA: Sumaran Empire. DOCTOR: This is serious. Someone's been playing around. Who set the coordinates? NYSSA: Well, you did. DOCTOR: No, no, no. Earlier, I was trying to teach both of you to read the star charts. Now, one of you actually read out the coordinates for me to set. Who was it? NYSSA: I can't remember. DOCTOR: It was Tegan. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: Tegan, what's the matter? What happened? TEGAN: It was the dream. DOCTOR: The dream? What dream? TEGAN: I can't, I can't remember. I can never remember. DOCTOR: But you've had this dream, this particular dream, before. NYSSA: Doctor, stop it. DOCTOR: Haven't you? TEGAN: Yes. DOCTOR: Always the same dream? TEGAN: Yes, I think so. The images fade so quickly. DOCTOR: But the same feelings of fear remain. NYSSA: Doctor. It doesn't matter. You're awake now. It was only a dream. TEGAN: No, it wasn't, somehow. NYSSA: Tegan DOCTOR: She means it. I think she could be right. [SCENE_BREAK] TANHA: Lon, you're not dressed yet. Ambril will be here in a moment. He promised to show us the caves this morning. Have you forgotten? LON: No, mother, I hadn't forgotten. TANHA: Well, then. We must make the effort. LON: Must we? TANHA: Well of course we must. LON: Why? TANHA: It is expected of us. You are the Federator's son. Come, Lon. What's wrong? LON: The Federator's son is bored. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Now then, Tegan, where are we? TEGAN: What? DOCTOR: Very simple question, where are we? TEGAN: Well, aren't we on Earth? DOCTOR: No, we're not. So? TEGAN: Well how should I know? DOCTOR: Think! NYSSA: Doctor. DOCTOR: Please, Tegan, think. Reach into the back of your mind. TEGAN: Are we on Manussa? DOCTOR: Good. TEGAN: Are we? DOCTOR: Yes, we are. TEGAN: How did I know that? DOCTOR: Manussa, formerly homeworld of the Sumaran Empire which may or may not ring a bell. Does it, Tegan? The Sumaran Empire? [SCENE_BREAK] TANHA: I agree Ambril can be rather trying. On the whole, you know, I preferred his predecessor. Now what was the man's name? Oh, he was completely dotty, but much more fun. LON: It's not just Ambril, mother, it's all of it. The ceremony and everything. It's all such nonsense, isn't it. TANHA: Is it? LON: Of course it is. And all so long ago. The Mara was destroyed five hundred years ago and yet we're still celebrating it. Why? TANHA: Oh, once every ten years. LON: It occurs to me that the whole thing is kept going solely to remind the people here how much better life is under the rule of the Federation. TANHA: And so it is. LON: Is it? TANHA: Of course it is. Life under the Mara must have been gruesome in the extreme. I mean, look. TANHA: Oh, it is grotesque. You ought to take more interest in our heritage. LON: Why? TANHA: Well, it's the root of our culture. The Legend of the Return. Although, now what was the man's name? Well, the Director before Ambril, he didn't think it was just a legend. He thought the Mara really would return. LON: Am I now supposed to take the ramblings of a mad man seriously? TANHA: He didn't ramble. LON: The Mara was destroyed, not banished to another dimension. It won't return in a dream or in any other form. TANHA: If you say so. LON: I think I just have. TANHA: Well, it made a good story. Quite made my hair stand on end. Ambril's predecessor was rather good value, even if he was talking nonsense. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: Is this necessary? DOCTOR: Yes. We must recover Tegan's dream, and simple hypnosis is the quickest way. NYSSA: But why must we? DOCTOR: Dreams are important, Nyssa. Never underestimate them. Once a man fell asleep, dreamt he was a frog. When he woke up he didn't know if he was a man who dreamt he was a frog, or a frog who was now dreaming he was a man. TEGAN: I'm still possessed, aren't I, Doctor. The Mara from the world of the Kinda is still inside my head somewhere, isn't it. DOCTOR: We'll have to see. TEGAN: But you think so. DOCTOR: It does seem likely. I'm sorry. TEGAN: But where? DOCTOR: Well, obviously below the threshold of conscious thought. I would imagine that when awake your mind is still strong enough to resist, but in sleep it loosens its grip and battle is joined. TEGAN: In my dreams? DOCTOR: Yes. TEGAN: The battle for what? DOCTOR: For control. Come over here. NYSSA: That's why you misread the coordinates. DOCTOR: It's possible the Mara seized temporary control and brought itself home. Now, insert the earpiece, try to relax, and when switched on, listen to the sound. [SCENE_BREAK] TANHA: He thought the only people who knew the truth about the Mara were the Snake Dancers. Once he even took us to visit them. It was miles from anywhere, way up in the hills. It was all wildly unofficial. We had to go in disguise. Can you imagine your father in disguise? Even then. LON: And did they? TANHA: What? LON: Know the truth about the Mara. TANHA: It was so dark and they were so dirty, it was difficult to tell. Oh, they were frightful. They were all covered in ash. Some of them were almost naked. They lived entirely on roots and berries and things, and they put themselves into trances. It was quite disgusting. They handled live snakes, I remember. LON: Why? TANHA: Something to do with their religion. LON: What did father think? TANHA: The Federator, as usual, was not amused. TANHA: Come in. AMBRIL: Good morning, my Lady Tanha. TANHA: Good morning. AMBRIL: Are we ready? TANHA: I'm afraid not quite. AMBRIL: I beg your pardon. In that case, I'll TANHA: No, no, no, no. Please stay. My son can dress quite quickly. LON: What's this? AMBRIL: That, my Lord, is a small token in honour of your presence here deputising for your father. I trust you approve? TANHA: Thank you. AMBRIL: Exquisite, isn't it? LON: Is it a fake? AMBRIL: Oh no, my Lord, it's an original. One of a pair from my collection. Seven hundred years old from the middle Sumaran era. I unearthed it myself. LON: Did you really? AMBRIL: Yes, my Lord. LON: Oh. Here, then. Catch. AMBRIL: Oh, my Lord. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Where are you now? TEGAN: On Deva Loka, the Kinda world. DOCTOR: What are you doing there? TEGAN: It's horrible. Is that thing inside my head? You must know I climbed a tree and dropped apples on its head. No. I will never agree to what you ask. Doctor? Am I free of the Mara now? Forever? Am I? DOCTOR: You must go deeper, Tegan. Much deeper. Where are you now? TEGAN: I'm in my garden, silly. Everything grows in my garden. People always come back. I close my eyes, I want them to come back and they do. It always works. I can tell lies too. People don't always notice so I'm safe here. DOCTOR: How old are you? TEGAN: I'm six, silly. DOCTOR: Tegan, now you must leave your garden. TEGAN: Oh, why? DOCTOR: And go still deeper. Deeper and further. Much further. Can you hear me? Now, I want you to go into the dream. TEGAN: No. DOCTOR: Why not? TEGAN: Because I mustn't. [SCENE_BREAK] HAWKER: How about you, sir? Madame, step this way, if you'd be so kind. I invite you to take the most exciting journey of all. The voyage inside. The journey to meet yourself. I address you in the silence of your own hearts. I offer my personal challenge. Dare you bare witness to what the Mara shows? Will you gaze upon the unspeakable? Dare you come face to face with the finally unfaceable? Children half price. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Tegan, you're perfectly safe. You must go into the dream. Where are you now? TEGAN: Snake mouth. Cave. Out. DOCTOR: Out where? TEGAN: I'm outside. I'm being fed this image. DOCTOR: Go in. TEGAN: No! Mustn't. DOCTOR: Tegan, you must go into the cave. We need to know what's there. TEGAN: Something in here. Over there. Mustn't look. Mustn't ever look. I'm safe if I don't look. DOCTOR: Tegan. TEGAN: No. DOCTOR: You're perfectly safe. You must look. We need to know what is there. TEGAN: (Mara) Go away! [SCENE_BREAK] HAWKER: Come face to face with the truth about yourself in the Hall of Mirrors. Come along, please. You, sir. For instance, you, you have the look of a humble seeker after life's truth. LON: Do I really. HAWKER: Of course you do. Now, if you'd care to step inside LON: Do you know who I am? HAWKER: No, young man. Do tell us. Who are you? HAWKER: Oh, I beg your pardon, my Lord, my Lady. I'm sure I didn't mean LON: Well, what's in there? HAWKER: In, er? LON: Yes, what exactly does one face in your shoddy little booth? HAWKER: Er, mirrors, my Lord. LON: Mirrors? HAWKER: Distorting mirrors, that's all. People are amused. LON: Are they. HAWKER: Generally, my Lord. TANHA: Lon. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: That voice, what was it? DOCTOR: The Mara, speaking through Tegan's mouth. NYSSA: On Deva Loka you said a physical change took place when possessed by a Mara. DOCTOR: It does, as mental resistance weakens. But this time I can prevent it. NYSSA: How? DOCTOR: With this. It inhibits the production of brainwaves associated with dreaming. NYSSA: Then what? DOCTOR: We must find the cave, the snake mouth in the dream. NYSSA: It's a real place? DOCTOR: Oh, yes. What's more, I would guess it's somewhere nearby. [SCENE_BREAK] AMBRIL: The main entrance to the cave system itself. TANHA: I'd forgotten how impressive it is. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Now, she will be experiencing total exclusion of all outside sound, so you must be her ears. NYSSA: She can't dream now. She's awake. DOCTOR: Dreams are occurring in the mind all the time. Come on, we must hurry. [SCENE_BREAK] AMBRIL: The cave system itself LON: Hello! AMBRIL: It's a natural geological formation worn out of the solid rock over hundreds of thousands of years by the action of an underground river. LON: Hello! TANHA: Lon. AMBRIL: The Chamber of the Mara is the largest natural cavern thus formed, but many of our most important archeological finds LON: Big, isn't it. AMBRIL: Beg pardon, my Lord? LON: This place, it's big. AMBRIL: Yes, I suppose it is. LON: Isn't it. Hello! [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: Tegan, are you all right? NYSSA: Doctor? DOCTOR: I was right. It seems there's a cave system near by that fits the description. It's, er, this way. [SCENE_BREAK] AMBRIL: This wall constitutes a valuable record of the Sumaran era. Of course, academic interpretations as to its precise meaning do differ, but by paying scrupulous attention to detail and not allowing our imaginations to run away with us, we can form the glimmerings of an idea as to what the pictograms may mean. LON: What about the Legend of the Return? AMBRIL: The legend, my Lord? LON: Do you have an opinion? AMBRIL: Yes, I'm rather afraid I do. LON: Well? AMBRIL: The Legend of the Return is nonsense. Pure superstitious nonsense, invented by the people simply to give themselves something with which to frighten their children. It has no basis, either speculative or proven, in historical fact. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Extraordinary, isn't it. NYSSA: Doctor. DOCTOR: It's the cave from her dream. DOCTOR: Now, there's nothing to be frightened of. TEGAN: No! NYSSA: Doctor, she can't hear you. [SCENE_BREAK] LON: Nevertheless, Ambril, your predecessor apparently believed in the legend. TANHA: Yes. Now what was that man's name? AMBRIL: His name, my Lady, was Dojjen. TANHA: Dojjen. Oh yes, of course, that was it. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: What are we going to do? She won't go any further, she's too frightened. DOCTOR: Well, you'll have to stay with her. I'll go into the cave alone. [SCENE_BREAK] AMBRIL: I'm afraid Dojjen came to believe so many things. He became very erratic towards the end. The real work here was sadly neglected. LON: The real work? AMBRIL: Yes, my Lord. LON: Oh, you mean poking about in the ruins and digging for trinkets. AMBRIL: Classified, my Lord. I have tried to reestablish our studies here on a strictly scientific basis. TANHA: And I'm sure we're all truly grateful. Shall we proceed to the Chamber of the Mara? [SCENE_BREAK] AMBRIL: Exquisite, isn't it. LON: What was in its mouth? AMBRIL: The Great Crystal, my Lord. Purely decorative. LON: Where is it now? Is it lost? AMBRIL: Oh no, my Lord. It was removed from its socket when the Mara was destroyed. Traditionally, its safekeeping is the responsibility of the Director. LON: You. AMBRIL: At present I have that honour, my Lord. The image of the Mara is sculpted out of [SCENE_BREAK] AMBRIL (OOV.): Solid rock. It is, as you can see, in the form of a snake, a rearing snake. The imagery is consistent with the middle Sumaran period with only insignificant variation. [SCENE_BREAK] AMBRIL: In Sumaran three period, the head has a tendency to be less pronounced, but in general TANHA: Oh, do be quiet just for a moment. It is horrible. TANHA: I'm very glad the Legend of the Return is just a story. It is, isn't it? DOCTOR: No, I'm afraid it's not. [SCENE_BREAK] PUPPETEER: Excuse me. NYSSA: Oh, no thank you. No, really, not at the moment. PUPPETEER: Look. NYSSA: Yes, it's very good. NYSSA: Tegan! Tegan! [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: There's no need for this. AMBRIL: This is a private view. You have no business to be here. Have him thrown out. LON: Wait. At least let the man have his say. AMBRIL: Why, my Lord? The man's clearly deranged. LON: Is he? AMBRIL: Of course he is. TANHA: Lon, I really think the Director should deal with this. DOCTOR: Director? Director of what? AMBRIL: Research effort into the Sumaran era. DOCTOR: Are you indeed? Then you may be able to help AMBRIL: I think not. Throw him out. LON: Just a moment, Ambril. It has been suggested that I take more interest in our legends. Release him. LON: And where, according to you, is the Mara now? DOCTOR: At present it exists as a latent mental force in the mind of my companion. LON: Does it. DOCTOR: It's using her dreams to increase its power. Eventually it will take over her mind altogether, but I've put together a device to inhibit this temporarily. LON: Oh, how very resourceful. DOCTOR: Why don't you come and meet her? She's outside. AMBRIL: My Lord, I must insist LON: Very well, show us. DOCTOR: Certainly. Follow me. AMBRIL My Lord! [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Nyssa! AMBRIL: Is this your companion? DOCTOR: Nyssa, what's the matter? NYSSA: Doctor, she's gone. DOCTOR: What! LON: She's gone, apparently. DOCTOR: Where? NYSSA: She took fright. It all happened so quickly. LON: You've disappointed me, Doctor. I should have you punished. DOCTOR: Come on. LON: No, let them go. What's the point? [SCENE_BREAK] SEER: Here, that's better. You can hear me now. TEGAN: No, I mustn't take it off. SEER: Why ever not? What is it, anyway? What does it do? TEGAN: I can't, I can't remember. I mustn't, that's all. Where am I? SEER: You passed out. They brought you in here. Are you feeling better? TEGAN: Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Oh, this is hopeless. What state was she in? NYSSA: Terrified. DOCTOR: Well, let's go back to the TARDIS. She might try and find her way back there. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Who are you, please? SEER: I see into the future. I expect it was all the people. TEGAN: I expect it was all the people. SEER: Of course, that's what it was. It's easy to get confused in crowds. Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better. TEGAN: In that. SEER: What? TEGAN: You see into the future in that? SEER: Yes. Well, between you and me, not really, I don't. I pretend. I flutter my fingers, gaze deep into the ball and then TEGAN: Then? SEER: Then I make something up. Whatever comes into my head. Whatever I think they want to hear. After all, they're paying. Doesn't do any harm. Mind you, it's surprising what does come into your head. Sometimes I surprise myself. TEGAN: Is it surprise? SEER: What is it? What's the matter? What's wrong? TEGAN: Is it? Well, look now. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: Where can she be? DOCTOR: Well, as long as she's wearing the anti-dream device she should be safe. NYSSA: And if she's not? DOCTOR: I don't know. I just don't know. Why has the Mara returned? Why now, after so long? What does it want? [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Look now.	Plan: A: The Tardis; Q: What lands on the home world of the Sumaran civilization? A: The Doctor; Q: Who did not set the co-ordinates for the landing? A: the Mara; Q: What is Tegan's name? A: the Kinda world; Q: Where did the Doctor and Tegan have their previous adventure? Summary: The Tardis lands on the home world of the Sumaran civilization. The Doctor did not set the co-ordinates for the landing and discovers that Tegan did. He starts questioning if the Mara is still active inside of her from their previous adventure on the Kinda world.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars Various scenes of Sheriff Keith Mars, Veronica and the Kanes around the body of Lilly Kane. VERONICA VOICEOVER: It's been a year since my best friend, Lilly Kane was murdered. Everyone remembers reading about the bungling local sheriff. That bungling sheriff was my dad. Cut to Duncan in shock, then with his arm around Veronica at Neptune High School. Then cutting Veronica dead. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Duncan Kane. He used to be my boyfriend. Then one day, with no warning, he ended things. Cut to the Mars' apartment in "Meet John Smith" as Keith and Veronica eat. VERONICA: What do you think Mom was doing at the Camelot motel with Jake Kane two weeks ago. KEITH: I told you to stay away from that case. Cut to Logan at the beach from the pilot. LOGAN: Do you know what your little joke cost me? Logan smashes one of the headlights on Veronica's car. Veronica winces. WEEVIL: [To Logan] You, say you're sorry. VERONICA: I don't want his apology. End Previously. Open at night on police vehicles and an ambulance. RADIO: 44 Adam [can't hear] RESPONSE: 44 Adam, affirmative. RADIO: We'll do [can't hear] The camera swings round to show the exterior of the Sunset Cliffs Apartments, where Keith and Veronica live. Veronica is sitting on the external stairs leading down to the entrance, watching. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I look back over the past week and wonder if things could've turned out differently. [As an occupied gurney is led out of an upstairs apartment] If I hadn't met the girl, if I hadn't initiated the case, if I hadn't interfered, would tonight be just another dull, quiet night in our apartment complex? A wrought-iron gate opens behind her. PARAMEDIC: Miss! Out of the way. Veronica leaps up from the stair, ascends and holds the gate open. The paramedics negotiate the gurney down the stairs. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Is it my fault a horrible crime played out its final chapter here? Or was what happened inevitable? Keith is across the complex, standing with some police officers. He gazes at Veronica as she looks back at him, until turning his attention to the officers. Veronica looks out over the emergency vehicles. Opening credits. Still at the Sunset Cliffs Apartments, it is day and one week earlier. A man waters the grass, a woman carries laundry in a basket. Another man cleans the pool around which the complex is built. The laundry woman is Veronica. VERONICA: [To the pool cleaner] Hey Rocky. ROCKY: Hey Veronica. Veronica carries on until she reaches the laundry room. There is a red-headed pregnant woman there, folding her laundry on a small outside table. This is Sarah. A Chihuahua also lies on the table. The music is the French Kick's "The Trial of the Century", the lyrics of which cannot be heard over the dialogue. VERONICA: Hi, Neighbour. SARAH: [Tearfully] Oh, hey Veronica. VERONICA: [Concerned] Are you okay? SARAH: Yeah, [wiping a tear, then more firmly] fine. [As Veronica sets her basket down inside the laundry room before coming back out with some books] Oh, your Snow Patrol CD. I'll get it back to you, I swear, I've just been so into it. VERONICA: I know. I can hear it through the ceiling. SARAH: Oh, god, you can hear us fighting, can't you? I'm sorry. VERONICA: What was the fight about? SARAH: Oh, it was nothing. Sarah picks up some of her laundry in one hand and the dog in the other and walks away from the laundry room. Veronica follows. VERONICA: You're right, it's not my business. SARAH: No! It's just stupid, I... [in a rush] my journal's missing. I think he took it. She gives an embarrassed laugh and heads for a basket set on a patio table. Veronica sits at the table. VERONICA: Really? Sarah puts her laundry into the basket and puts the dog on top. SARAH: Yeah. He somehow got it into his head that I have a thing for my boss. [Sitting, with some effort] Suddenly, the journal disappears. Sort of my diary-slash-sketchbook. But it's got some way personal stuff in there. VERONICA: I hope it turns up. [The dog barks] Hey, Killer! Do you mind if I [pointing at the Chihuahua] SARAH: No, go ahead. He lives for the attention. VERONICA: [Taking the dog out of the basket, into her arms.] You are so lucky he's your dog. I would immediately put him in a little sailor's outfit. SARAH: Veronica, can I ask you a favour? I have a doctor's appointment Tuesday morning. I'm getting some test results. VERONICA: Do you need a lift? SARAH: Maybe some hand-holding. VERONICA: Of course. Cut to Neptune HS. Logan is crouched at his locker. Vice Principal Clemmons leans over him. CLEMMONS: Mr Echolls. I was wondering if I could have a word. LOGAN: [Thinks for a moment] Anthropomorphic. [Grinning] All yours, big guy. CLEMMONS: [As Logan stands] Oh. [Sycophantic chuckle] Your father has generously offered to donate a pair of boots for a school fundraising auction. LOGAN: Not the ones made for walking. God, I love those boots. CLEMMONS: [Ignoring the sarcasm] Ah, the pair he wore in "Hair Trigger". LOGAN: Hmmm. CLEMMONS: They're a big ticket item. We're hoping we'll be able to pay for our new scoreboard with what we'll make off of them. LOGAN: [Showing crossed fingers as he goes to walk away] Hope so. CLEMMONS: Unfortunately, [Logan's hand signals "and he keeps on talking"] I haven't been able to reach your father. I was hoping you could remind him. Logan has already put a few feet between himself and Clemmons. He turns back. LOGAN: I'll have my assistant call his assistant. He smirks, nods and walks off leaving Clemmons to ponder the things he has to do in his job. Cut to Veronica at a keyboard in the journalism class. She looks up as she hears a woman's voice. EVELYN: [Offscreen] Let's see, Carrie Ann Leskey went on to be Miss California. Of course then she went on to gain forty pounds. Ms Dent enters the classroom, trailed by an older woman. EVELYN: Oh, and Jake Kane. Big computer mogul and I sat next to him in typing. Surprisingly slow, typing-wise. He's a brilliant man. Ronald Tulan, of Tulan Motors. Are you married because I hear he's separated now? Ms Dent has had enough. She seeks a rescuer. MS DENT: Veronica? Just the girl I was looking for. [Sitting on the desk] I'd like you to meet Evelyn Bugby. EVELYN: [Patronising] Oh, aren't you cute? MS DENT: Evelyn is from the Alumni Association and she's looking for some help putting together a photo display for a class reunion. VERONICA: [Regretfully not] Oh. If only I had the spare time. Evelyn smiles, glances at Ms Dent and turns away, seeking another victim behind her. EVELYN: Bob Patton, is that you? Ms Dent plonks a book on the desk next to Veronica, holding it up. MS DENT: Class of '79. Think of all the bad clothes you can mock. Velour shirts. Platform shoes. VERONICA: [Thinks for a moment] Um, okay. I'll do it. MS DENT: [Relieved] Great! Your first assignment is to scan and print all the photos Mrs Bugby tabbed. [Begging, with a glance back at Evelyn] And please. Keep her away from me. Ms Dent leaves the 1979 yearbook on the desk and tries to sneak away behind Evelyn, who has snared Bob Patton. She is out of luck as Evelyn has the instincts of a bloodhound. EVELYN: [To Bob Patton] Very nice. Oh, excuse me, I have to go and talk to her. BOB: Good to see you. EVELYN: [Catching Ms Dent] Did you see what he did? He used Oblivious to this, Veronica examines the yearbook. VERONICA VOICEOVER: And somewhere amidst the "most likely to succeed" and "class sweetheart", my mom, [Veronica find's the picture] Lianne Reynolds, "most likely to disappear off the face of the earth". Veronica looks intently at the picture. Cut to a timer on a teacher's desk in another classroom. The teacher, a middle-aged black man is marking papers. He peers up at his students as they take a test. Amongst them are Weevil and Logan. Weevil, one along and one back from Logan in the rows of students, looks over at Logan. Logan notices and shifts his papers to obscure his answers from Weevil. After writing a little more under the cover of the test sheet, he looks back at Weevil. LOGAN: They teach you manners in ESL? WEEVIL: If I was gonna cheat, don't you think I'd pick somebody smart? LOGAN: [Mockingly] If you was gonna. Weevil shakes his head and looks back down at his paper. At his desk, the teacher shakes his head and slaps his hands on the desk. MR DANIELS: Ah, alas. [Standing] You both get zeros. [Weevil looks pissed, Logan doesn't seem to care] No talking during test. He grabs their tests and heads back to his desk. LOGAN: [As Mr Daniels passes him, not too quietly] I guess Mrs. Daniels ain't giving it up at home, huh? Mr Daniels pulls up, Weevil is amused. MR DANIELS: You know, the glow of your father's wealth and celebrity may be enough to sustain you through high school, Mr Echolls, but do you know what it will get you in the real world? LOGAN: [Clasping his hands together in prayer and raising his eyes to the heavens] Please say 'high school English teacher'. Please say 'high school English teacher'. Weevil laughs openly. MR DANIELS: Mr Navarro. I wonder if you'll find Mr Echolls so amusing ten years from now. When you're pumping his gas. Weevil nods his head in acknowledgement of the stereotype. Logan smiles broadly and looks back at him. MR DANIELS: See me after class, both of you. I'll tell you where to report for detention. Cut to an overshot of one of the desks where cards are being laid out for solitaire. The camera shifts to reveal Logan was the one dealing and is now playing. Weevil sits next to him as both wait in the now empty classroom. WEEVIL: You know what I love? I love that I get a zero for talking, when you were the one who was talking to me. You get detention for dissing the teacher in front of everybody. And I get detention for laughing. Let me ask you something, man. Weevil pulls his desk closer to Logan. LOGAN: [To the heavens] Is this detention or hell? WEEVIL: How do you people not make yourselves sick? I mean, it's like you walk on water in this school. For what? It's nothing that you do. I mean, all that matters is who your parents are and the zip code your mom shot you out in. LOGAN: And if I donate to the United Latino Pain-in-the-Ass fund, will you shut the hell up? WEEVIL: You like playin' wit' yourself? LOGAN: Huh? WEEVIL: Or you wanna make things interesting? LOGAN: What did you have in mind? Cut to later. Their desks now pushed together facing each other, there's money on the table. Weevil has a pair of aces. Logan looks at his cards. WEEVIL: You're almost as bad an actor as your father. LOGAN: You know that you don't need a diploma to steal hubcaps right? I mean why do you even show up here? WEEVIL: I promised my grandmother. LOGAN: Hmm. WEEVIL: I don't break my promises. LOGAN: [Insincerely] And I mean this. Aaww. The door to the classroom opens and Mr Daniels enters. He sees them playing poker and slams the door shut behind him. MR DANIELS: Is this Reno or detention? LOGAN: Would you believe the best of both? Logan grins then laughs. Mr Daniels responds with a humourless laugh of his own then grabs the cards from Logan and then the rest from the desk. WEEVIL: Aw, come on, man! LOGAN: What the hell? We were playing a game here. MR DANIELS: This is punishment, gentlemen, not party time. LOGAN: [Pocketing his cash] Well, that would explain the absence of balloon animals. MR DANIELS: You know, the two of you may not have learned respect in the home but you are going to learn it here. And you now have a full week of detention for me to teach you without luxury time for playing cards. Mr Daniels leaves. Weevil throws his head back and groans. Cut to Veronica getting her keys out at the Sunset Cliffs Apartments. As she heads for the Mars Apartment (#110) she hears a door open and shouting. SARAH: [Offscreen] Why'd you tell her? ANDRE: [Offscreen] I assumed she already knew. God, she's your mother. Veronica pauses then turns and walks back to look up at the balcony above. SARAH: [Offscreen] She is the l-last person I want to know about the baby! I can't believe you told her where I was! ANDRE: Stop it. You're just being hormonal. Veronica can now see the bearded Andre, Sarah's partner, on the balcony to her left, heading for the gate. Sarah is outside the door of the apartment above #110, gripping the balcony rail. SARAH: Shut up! Why don't you go spend the night with Joanna? Maybe then she'll stop calling here all the time! Sarah storms back into the apartment. ANDRE: Get over it, Sarah! Grow up! Sarah slams the door of the apartment. Her partner, having now reached the gate moves off but not before he notices Veronica watching. Veronica drops her head to examine her keys and heads for the Mars' apartment. Sarah's partner shakes his head, turns and grabs open the gate, heading out. Cut to the apartments at night. Veronica is asleep. There is a woman's scream and Veronica jolts to a sitting position. There is a heavy thump above her head and she stares at the ceiling for a few moments. Frightened, she lies down again and pulls the cover closer to her. Cut to the morning. Keith is pouring himself coffee. Veronica heads for the fridge. VERONICA: Did you hear something last night? KEITH: What kind of something? Keith takes his coffee and a bowl to the counter as Veronica raids the fridge. VERONICA: Like a loud thump from upstairs. KEITH: Well, no, but you know me. I can sleep through an earthquake. Why? VERONICA: I don't know. It sounded like a falling body. It really freaked me out. KEITH: A falling body? VERONICA: Yes. A falling body. KEITH: Would you describe the sound as Hitchcockian? Keith can't contain himself and lets out a wheezy laugh as he takes a sip of his coffee. VERONICA: I'm glad you're able to entertain yourself. KEITH: Oh, sweetie, don't sell yourself short. I find you completely entertaining. You're dressed awfully early. VERONICA: I'm taking Sarah to a doctor's appointment before school. KEITH: Oh, well that's mighty neighbourly of you. VERONICA: [In Western accent] Well, I'll see you back at the ranch, partner. Veronica pats her father on the back and he blows her a kiss and smiles after her. Veronica leaves her apartment and heads upstairs. She knocks on the door of #210. Killer is barking but there is no answer. VERONICA: Sarah? Veronica moves to the window. The curtains are partially drawn. Inside she can see signs of chaos - a lamp and a plant are thrown on the floor, there's cups toppled on the table and Killer stands amidst them, yapping away. Veronica pulls away, concerned. Cut to the journalism classroom. Veronica is on her cell. VERONICA: Sarah, it's Veronica again. Please give me a call when you get this, I'm just getting a little worried. Veronica disconnects and sits in front of a computer. She picks up the 1979 yearbook and starts to flick through the pages. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The people that say high school years are the best years of your life are usually on the yearbook staff. I just pray that bake sales and pep rallies aren't as good as it gets. And that the prom isn't the most magical night of my life like it was for this golden- The yearbook is open on a page that has the heading "Love is Thicker Than Water". Beneath is the top half of a heart, crowns on each summit with names banners under them. The names are Jake and Lianne. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Oh, my god. The camera pans down to the picture that fills the rest of the heart. The couple is kissing. Veronica stares. Cut to the boys' restroom. Weevil is just finishing at the urinal. Felix is waiting. FELIX: So, how's life with the movie star's kid? WEEVIL: [Heading for the sink] Ugh, he makes Juvie Hall seem like vacation. FELIX: Yeah? You should tell him you spent some quiet time with Lilly Kane, his precious girlfriend. I'd love to see the look on his face when he finds out you tapped that fine, white ass. WEEVIL: [Angry] Hey! You shut your mouth with that, man! You don't know what you're talking about and it-it wasn't like that, all right? Weevil stalks out, leaving a bemused Felix. FELIX: Wha? What'd I say? Felix follows Weevil. Cut to the school hall as Duncan is coming down the corridor. Veronica hurries to catch up with him. VERONICA: Hey. DUNCAN: [Pausing to let her catch up then continuing on with her] Hey, what's up? VERONICA: I've got a little Neptune High trivia for you. DUNCAN: Yeah? VERONICA: Did you know that your dad and my mom were King and Queen of the prom? [Duncan stops and looks at Veronica] Which, I guess, means they were like a couple or something. Did you know about that? DUNCAN: [Expression unreadable] Uh, no. That's weird, huh? Duncan moves off, leaving Veronica standing. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The boy does have a gift for evasiveness. Last year, [cut to flashback] he broke up with me without so much as an "it's over". A concerned Veronica walks down the corridor. VERONICA: What's going on? She is addressing Lilly who is standing by her open locker. LILLY: What's going on is I had lip gloss on my teeth for, like, all of first period. Lilly slams her locker shut and they move off together. VERONICA: Why is Duncan pretending I no longer exist? LILLY: Umm... because he's a freak. I don't know. I'm his sister, not his shrink. VERONICA: It's like he's broken up with me but hasn't gotten around to telling me yet. LILLY: He has been weird the past few days. Maybe his right hand finally said no. VERONICA: Can you not see I'm really upset about this? LILLY: [Laughs impatiently] God, Veronica, please! Will you stop, okay? He's going through like a phase or something. You two are meant for each other. He's not that stupid. [Off Veronica dissatisfied look] Fine. I'll talk to him. VERONICA: Thank you. LILLY: [Walking away] You know, I don't know what you people would do without me. Veronica gives a wry smile. Cut back to the present as Veronica carries on down the hallway. LOGAN: [Offscreen] Is this a joke? Cut to the parking lot. Logan and Weevil, carrying buckets, arrive at a small blue car parked in a space marked "Daniels". Mr Daniels is bringing up the rear. MR DANIELS: No, Mr Echolls, this is detention. Logan sets his bucket down by the driver's door. Weevil carries on past him to the front end. LOGAN: I meant the car. Logan smirks. Mr Daniels looks a little confused. Logan acts embarrassed. LOGAN: Oh, my God! [Puts his hand on his mouth for his faux pas] It's not yours, is it? Weevil, who has set his bucket down at the front end, laughs. LOGAN: [Drawing a heart in the dust in the window] You know, seriously, I don't think it's school policy to have students do chores. MR DANIELS: Seriously, would you like to hear the school's policy on gambling, Mr Echolls? It's considerably detailed. Mr Daniels swipes a finger over the dirty window, rubs his finger and thumb together and gives Logan a 'get on with it' glare. Logan glares back as Daniels leaves then spits on the window before rubbing the glass ineffectually. Weevil empties his bucket on the bonnet with a sarcastic smile. Cut to Veronica entering a posh clothes store. She approaches Sarah's boss, whose name is Nathan, examining his clipboard. VERONICA: Hi, I'm looking for Sarah. NATHAN: Me too. She didn't show up today. VERONICA: I'm her neighbour and she's been missing since this morning. I'm getting really worried. NATHAN: Might want to check with her boyfriend, Andre. VERONICA: Do you know him? NATHAN: [Huffy sigh] I feel like I do. She talks about him ad nauseum. [Snidely mimicking] 'He's such a brilliant artist; he's so down to earth; he has magic hands'. VERONICA: I'm sensing you don't like him very much. NATHAN: They fight all the time. And I know for a fact the guy's got a temper. A couple weeks ago she spent the night at my place. She was-It was storming out, she didn't want to drive. Andre absolutely flipped out. They fought on the phone like Sid and Nancy. VERONICA: Thanks for the info. NATHAN: This isn't like her, you know. She hasn't missed a day at work since she started here. VERONICA: Do you know where I can find Andre? Cut to a wooden floor off a doorway screened with chains. VERONICA: Hello? Veronica parts the chains and enters cautiously. It's an artist's studio. She stops in front of a painting of a man holding his hand over his eyes, palm uppermost. Soft footsteps are revealed to be Sarah's bearded partner from the apartments. He looks up and sees Veronica. ANDRE: What are you doing here? VERONICA: Have you seen Sarah? ANDRE: Not since this morning. Why? VERONICA: Well, I was supposed to take her to the doctor this morning, but she wasn't around. She didn't show up for work, either. ANDRE: She'll turn up. VERONICA: You're not concerned? ANDRE: This is what she does. When things get a little rough, she runs. VERONICA: What was the fight about? ANDRE: I told her I found her friends annoying. VERONICA: Something about you telling Sarah's mom she was pregnant? ANDRE: Well, if you know the answer, why ask the question? VERONICA: [Incredulous] Sarah's mom didn't know she was pregnant? ANDRE: They hadn't spoken since Sarah left Ohio. I told her that Sarah was pregnant. She said she wanted to come be with her. Sarah freaked. VERONICA: Freaked and ran off? ANDRE: Yeah. So get these dark fantasies out of your head. She'll come back as soon as she's processed it all. It's her way. VERONICA: I heard a noise come from your apartment last night. A loud thump. ANDRE: Thump. Hmm. That must have been when I cracked her head open with a candlestick and she crumpled to the ground. No, wait. That was Professor Plum in the study. VERONICA: I am seriously worried. ANDRE: You are seriously paranoid is what you are. I didn't hear a thump. Maybe I slept through it. Look, why don't you go back to playing field hockey or whatever it is you usually do after school. I can handle this. VERONICA: Actually, what I usually do after school is work at my dad's detective agency. You remember, he used to be Sheriff? ANDRE: Mmm-hmm. VERONICA: He still has a ton of contacts in law enforcement. ANDRE: Well, la-di-da. A woman in a thin robe appears behind Andre. WOMAN: Who's the girl? ANDRE: She's the head of our neighbourhood watch program. The woman moves past Veronica and disrobes. She is naked. VERONICA: [Amazed] I wasn't aware this was clothing-optional! WOMAN: [Ready to pose] Let me know when you're ready for me, Picasso. ANDRE: [Sitting at an easel holding a painting in progress of the nude's back] See ya, neighbour. Thanks for dropping by. Veronica takes one last look, turns and walks out of the studio. Cut to Veronica doing homework in her bedroom. She can hear Killer barking upstairs. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Dogs. Nature's psychic detectives. They know it in their bones when something is wrong. Now I've got the corroboration I need. Veronica grabs a flashlight from her desk and her jacket. Cut to her out #210. She tests the door but it is locked. She moves over to the window. It opens. She climbs in. Killer is happy to see her. She picks him up. VERONICA: Hey, Killer. Veronica goes further into the apartment. With her torch, she can see a large painting of Sarah on one wall. She heads towards the bedroom. There's a piece of wood, newspaper wrapped at the end, jutting out from the bed. Veronica sees as free-standing mirror next to an open closet. Over the bed on the wall is another large painting, an extreme close up of frightened eyes and nose. Outside, Andre has exited his car and heads for the apartment. As Veronica swings the flashlight round, she sees a dresser, with some of the drawers open. She spots Sarah's cell phone on top of it. She picks up the phone and looks at the display. She finds Sarah's messages, two from herself and two from a Dr Delmont. Andre is coming up the stairs to the gate. Veronica continues to search, shining the torch into one of the open drawers. She sees a gun. Using a pencil that was on top of the dresser, she picks up the gun. Andre has reached the front door of the apartment. He gets out his keys to unlock the door. Veronica hears him. Andre opens the front door. Veronica has managed to get herself into the shower. ANDRE: Killer? Andre turns on the light as Killer barks in Veronica's arms. ANDRE: Killer! [Walking further into the apartment] Killer, where are you, bud? Andre hears the toilet flush. Veronica comes out of the bathroom. VERONICA: [Friendly] Oh, hi. ANDRE: What the hell are you doing in my apartment? VERONICA: I couldn't study. Uh, the little guy was barking his head off and I tried the door, it was unlocked, so I figured I'd come in and check on him. ANDRE: I never leave my door unlocked. VERONICA: Oh, well then Sarah must have done it. That's possible, right? ANDRE: Possible. Yeah, that's possible. [Getting in Veronica's space] I don't know who you think you are, but you need to stay out of my business. Am I being clear? VERONICA: Crystal. Nice chatting with you. Veronica gives Killer to Andre and leaves the apartment. Outside, she expels her breath in relief. Cut to the school hallway. There are shelves in a display nook, filled with mementos and pictures. EVELYN: [Offscreen] Well, we definitely don't need this one. I have At the top is a banner that reads: Welcome Back Class of 1979. Cut to Evelyn in front of a small table, filled with pictures. Veronica is assisting. EVELYN: no idea who this is, so what does that say? [Veronica hands her another picture] Oh! Perfect, we have to have Doris Landers. She was Class Sweetheart, in more ways than one but a very nice girl. Evelyn trots over to the display to pin up the picture of Doris Landers. VERONICA: What about Lianne Reynolds? Evelyn gives a little grunt as she stretches to insert the pin. Veronica turns to look at her. VERONICA: She's my mom... EVELYN: Oh my god! Of course. Look at you. I thought you looked familiar. You look just like her. How is she? VERONICA: [Avoiding] I-I love this picture of her. Veronica picks up a large framed picture from the table. It is a side view of Jake and Lianne. Jake's forehead is resting on Lianne's and his hand is on her waist. Lianne's hand is on his shoulder. EVELYN: Oh. [Finger on the picture] She was just gorgeous. [Moving her finger along] And Jake. They were a beautiful couple. VERONICA: So they were a couple? EVELYN: No, they were THE couple. Very lovey-dovey. Practically connected at the mouth in the hallway. I'd always thought they'd get married, and everybody thought they would but obviously everything worked out for the best, otherwise you wouldn't be here, right? [Taking the picture] VERONICA: [Softly] Right. Evelyn places the portrait in the display. EVELYN: They were something, though. Like a couple in a movie. [Picking up another photograph and wrinkling her nose in distaste] Oh, Aaron Staleman. I think he went to jail. Veronica, her own nose deep in another file, wanders away from Evelyn. VERONICA VOICEOVER: It's just high school. What happens here doesn't mean anything. I was part of a perfect couple. It was part of my perfect life. It's amazing how fleeting perfection can be. Cut to flashback. Veronica and Lilly are walking down the school corridor. VERONICA: Yesterday you said we were made for each other. LILLY: I don't-I really, I don't want to be in the middle of this. Lilly gives an uncomfortable laugh. VERONICA: What is 'this'? LILLY: I just think that maybe you should just move on. VERONICA: What! LILLY: I can think of a half dozen guys off the top of my head that would be a better match for you than Duncan. VERONICA: What did he say to you? Did I do something? LILLY: No, it's not you. It's just... I-he needs some time alone for a while. Veronica pulls up. VERONICA: Would you stop walking? What is so horrible that you can't tell me? LILLY: [Serious] Can you trust me? It's for the best, Veronica. I know that it doesn't seem like it right now, but it is! You deserve better. Veronica looks at her friend, closes her eyes briefly then spins rounds, upset. She hurries away. Lilly looks concerned. Veronica races to the girls' restroom, the one present-day Veronica uses as her office. Present-day Veronica watches her go as the return to the present is completed, looks down at the photograph and looks up again, wondering. MR DANIELS: [Offscreen] Alphabetize Cut to a classroom. Logan stands, head down as Mr Daniels paces the room in front of the blackboard. 'Hamlet' has been the topic as shown by what's written there. MR DANIELS: by author and then by title The camera follows Daniels, book in hand, to show a large bookcase. MR DANIELS: for example, Shakespeare would come after Poe Angle changes again to reveal Weevil, arms folded leaning against the bookcase. MR DANIELS: and before Wordsworth and then within Shakespeare, 'MacBeth' after 'Hamlet'. Should I draw a diagram? LOGAN: Aw, please. That would be helpful. MR DANIELS: If you get this wrong, I'll simply have you do it again. Daniels thrusts the book into Logan's hand and leaves. Logan takes off the shirt he is wearing, over his tee-shirt. LOGAN: Well, amigo, let's get to it, huh? Cut to Logan and Weevil moving the desk under the bookcase to get to the top shelf, then to Weevil jumping onto the desk as Logan attends to one of the lower shelves. WEEVIL: [Throwing the books to the floor] Oops! Heads up! My bad! LOGAN: You obviously have no appreciation of literature. Weevil continues to toss the books on the floor as Logan picks a book off the shelf and turns into the room. He drops the book and kicks it. LOGAN: [With Shakespearian flourish] Would that it were Mr Daniels' head! WEEVIL: I was thinking more like that scene in 'Casino'. [Sitting on the desk] With the vice grip. LOGAN: [Leaning back against the bookcase, hands at the level of his head] Ah, see I'm more of a purist, you know, less blood, more emotional distress. I'd rather see him locked in a room, padded, crapping himself in the corner. You know, he's an English teacher. He'd appreciate the poetic justice. WEEVIL: [Tossing another book] I think I've got your poetic justice. LOGAN: Meaning? WEEVIL: [Jumping off the desk] Meaning I've got a plan. LOGAN: Tick tick. Losing interest. WEEVIL: Well, if I thought you had the cojones to pull it off, I'd tell you, but... LOGAN: [With deliberation] Never underestimate the size of my cojones. Logan winks. Cut to Mr Daniels in the car park, jangling his car keys. He looks up. MR DANIELS: Whoa. The camera tracks around him to reveal that there is no car in his parking space. He walks into the space, looking around. MR DANIELS: Where is the Cut to the Sunset Cliffs Apartments. Andre is letting a couple out of the top gate as Veronica comes into frame. ANDRE: Do you know how to get back to your hotel? EMILY: Yeah, I just-- RANDALL: Yeah, we're fine. EMILY: I have one more thing. Where do you think she is? Veronica looks up and slows her walk to listen. ANDRE: No idea. Look, I have your number at the hotel, so if I hear anything, I'll give you a call. EMILY: Thank you. ANDRE: Sure. The couple descend the stairs. Veronica checks to see that Andre has headed back to his apartment, then VERONICA: Excuse me. Are you Sarah's mother? EMILY: Yes. I'm Emily and this is her stepfather, Randall. VERONICA: Um, my father's a private detective. And he's really good at finding missing people. Emily and Randall exchange a look. VERONICA: I can give you his card. Veronica takes a card from her bag and gives it to Emily. Cut to the exterior of Neptune High School. Students are excited over something as Mr Daniels walks towards the school with the English teacher, Mrs Murphy, last seen drilling Veronica on Pope. BOY: Come on, man, check it out! MR DANIELS: Thanks again for the ride, Lisa. MRS MURPHY: Let me know if you need me to take you home. MR DANIELS: Okay. Ah, geez. What's the problem now? Daniels can see a crowd gathered around the flagpole. The flags, one Old Glory, the other, Neptune High's, are being raised. The crowd cheers and claps. Daniels walks forward to disperse the crowd. MR DANIELS: All right, people break it up, break it up. What's the big attraction? As he gets closer to the flagpole, Daniels sees his car at the base of the flagpole. It is impaled by the flagpole. MR DANIELS: Son of a b- He opens the passenger side door and sees the flagpole rising through the middle of the car. MR DANIELS: Son of a b- The crowd is appreciative of the fun. Daniels slams the door shut and turns to face it. MR DANIELS: Get back to class. Go on. Move it. Go to class. Go to class, people! The crowd disperses, leaving a bemused Lisa. Cut to Weevil, making his way down the school hall. CLEMMONS: Mr Navarro! Weevil pauses. Clemmons is behind him with a security guard. CLEMMONS: [As Weevil turns to face him] Interesting artwork you left at the flagpole this morning. WEEVIL: Artwork? Looks to me like Mr Daniels has a little drinking and driving problem. CLEMMONS: Spare me your indignation, Mr Navarro, we have a witness. WEEVIL: [Resigned] Yeah, sure you do. Clemmons beckons Weevil to follow. The security guard places a hand on Weevil's arm to lead him. Weevil glances over to his left. Logan is just coming out of a classroom. He stares. Weevil gives him a head's up gesture which Logan barely acknowledges as he hurries on. CLEMMONS: [Offscreen] The only thing Cut to Clemmons office. Clemmons is sitting on his desk. CLEMMONS: that's going to make this easy on you Camera cuts to another angle to show Weevil sitting on a chair in front of the desk. Mr Daniels paces behind him. CLEMMONS: is if you tell us who helped you. WEEVIL: All right. You guys wanna know who helped me? Ask your witness. MR DANIELS: Do you believe this? [Bending down to shout in Weevil's ear] Tell-us-who-helped-you. CLEMMONS: Tom! Easy. I've called your grandmother. She's been informed that, as of today, you are expelled from Neptune High School. [Weevil nods his head] You are no longer a student here. MR DANIELS: [Dripping with sarcasm] And you had so much potential. CLEMMONS: [As Weevil rises] Okay, then. A security guard will escort you to clean out your locker. WEEVIL: Wait. Weevil pauses at the door and turns back. WEEVIL: [Faux-regretfully] Does this mean I can't try out for the soccer team? Daniels turns to Clemmons with a look of intense botheration. DUNCAN: [Offscreen] I didn't even know they expelled Cut to the school's outdoor cafeteria. Duncan and Logan are eating lunch at one table. Dick is close by, sitting up on the next table. DUNCAN: people at our school. DICK: Well, not our people. LOGAN: [In a low voice] They expelled him? DUNCAN: They had security escort him off the grounds. I was in the office getting my schedule changed and you could hear Daniels just blowing a fuse. [Pointing and in an approximation of Daniels tone] Tell-us-who-helped-you. Tell-us-who-helped-you! DICK: [Jumping off the table and as he passes them] If he starts selling oranges in front of my house, I'm gonna be pissed. Duncan and Logan laugh but Logan is thoughtful and looks over at the car, still impaled on the flagpole. Cut to Keith's office at Mars Investigations. EMILY: She was a very sweet girl. Light-hearted. An angel. And then around her senior year I saw a change. She was secretive always picking fights with me. Veronica comes in and places a glass of water on the desk in front of Emily. EMILY: Thank you. VERONICA: OK. Veronica takes a seat behind Randall. EMILY: I think she was angry because I remarried after her father died. I don't know. She had a knack for attracting troubled young men. RANDALL: Come on, Emily. You make her sound worse than she was. She was a teenager. They have moods. EMILY: We shouldn't kid ourselves, Randall. Then one day, last year, she took off. Didn't finish high school, never even said goodbye. RANDALL: Emily, she's only been gone a couple of days. We'll find her. That's why we're here. KEITH: [Leaning forward] I'll do my best. Keith smiles sympathetically at both of them. Cut to later, in the outside office. Veronica and Keith are preparing to eat takeout, sitting on the small couch. VERONICA: So, here's what I'm thinking. The boyfriend? Andre? He knows something and if we lean on him a little bit, put the fear of god in him- KEITH: [Interrupting] Veronica, I'm handling this case from here on out. VERONICA: I know. That's why I brought them here, so you could be involved. KEITH: I'm handling this case without you. VERONICA: No, Dad. She's my friend. KEITH: No, she's a girl you talked to in the laundry room from time to time. Look, sweetie, young, attractive girls who take up with troubled men? Disappear without warning? Huh. I've handled a hundred of these cases in my life and they often end badly. Prepare yourself. Veronica gives her father a long, troubled look. Cut to Veronica's 'office' at Neptune High. She checks out the cubicles to make sure she is alone, then uses her cell phone. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I convinced Dad to let me keep working on the case if I stayed away from Andre. VERONICA: [Into the phone] Hi. This is Sarah Williams. I'm just wondering if I can get my test results over the phone. [Pauses] Right, the DNA test. Could you explain to me what that means? VERONICA VOICEOVER: Sarah's baby. It wasn't Andre's. Veronica is intrigued. There is an offscreen rap on a door. Cut to Clemmons working at his desk. He looks up. Logan is at the door. LOGAN: You got a sec? CLEMMONS: Mr Echolls. What can I do for you? Logan closes the door behind him, shutting it firmly. LOGAN: Man, I tell you Mr Clemmons, I am pissed off! [SCENE_BREAK] Logan heads for the chair in front of Clemmons desk. CLEMMONS: [Scolding] I need for you to use appropriate language in here, Mr Echolls. [Logan sits and adopts an abashed demeanour] Now, what's got under your skin? LOGAN: It's, uh, it's that Weevil kid. CLEMMONS: He is no longer a student here. LOGAN: Yeah, I know. But the problem is, he's getting all the credit for sticking Mr Daniels car on the flagpole. [Clemmons looks up at him in horror] And all of the sudden, he's like the biggest badass in� [off Clemmons warning look, coughs] rad dude [rolls his eyes] here at Neptune. I mean, people are gonna be talking about that punking for years. CLEMMONS: I don't think I understand. LOGAN: I mean, I want my share of the credit. CLEMMONS: You're confessing to helping Eli Navarro? [Logan smirks] You can't just get away with this, young man. LOGAN: [Expelling his breath in mock contrition] Yeah, I didn't think I could. Logan pauses then swings first one foot, then the other onto Clemmons desk. He is wearing a pair of black boots with red stars all over them. Clemmons stares at the boots on his desk. LOGAN: So, what kind of punishment are we talking about? Logan makes no secret of his triumph as Clemmons stares longingly at the boots and then back at Logan. A deal is in the air. Cut to the shop where Sarah worked. Veronica is talking to Nathan again. NATHAN: I'm not really understanding your question. VERONICA: Well, if Andre's not the baby's father, do you know who is? NATHAN: It's not mine, if that's what you're suggesting. VERONICA: No, I'm not, but you work with her every day. I thought you might have picked up something. NATHAN: I hate to even think this, but maybe the guy that raped her is the baby's father. VERONICA: She was raped? NATHAN: Yeah. It's one of the reasons she left her hometown, followed Andre here. VERONICA: She told you that? NATHAN: Yeah. Like you said, we spend a lot of time together. VERONICA: Did she say who it was? NATHAN: Never. Ah, I should get back to work. But if I think of anything else, I'll be sure to give you a call. Veronica thinks for a moment and turns to leave until something suddenly dawns on her. She goes back to Nathan. VERONICA: You stole the diary! NATHAN: What? VERONICA: How did that work? She was sleeping at your house that stormy night and there it was, just poking out of her bag. You couldn't resist. You had to find out if she had a thing for you, too. NATHAN: You realize you're paranoid. VERONICA: I do. Everyone reminds me. But it doesn't mean I'm not right. I want the journal, it's gonna help me find her. NATHAN: I told you. I don't have it. VERONICA: Hmm. Looks like we're in a bit of a standstill. NATHAN: Looks that way. VERONICA: Excuse me? Veronica walks away from him as she pulls out her cell phone. VERONICA: [Into the phone] Hey, it's Veronica. Hear you have some free time on your hands, you wanna do me a little favour? Cut to the street outside the shop looking in. The shop is called 'Encore of Neptune' and carries clothes for men and women. As Nathan passes the door, he looks outside, concerned. Veronica is parked outside the shop. She is sat upon the bonnet reading a book. She looks up at him, smiles and gives a little wave. He looks disgusted and marches back into the depths of the shop. Cut to the bikers. They pull up outside the shop. Veronica and Weevil touch fists and the bikers enter the shop. Veronica smiles. WEEVIL: We heard there was sale! BIKERS: Yeah! WEEVIL: Everything's on clearance! The bikers spread out inside the shop as Nathan, horrified, addresses Weevil. NATHAN: What-what do you guys want? WEEVIL: I don't know. Sometimes the girls get put off by this old motorcycle jacket thing. Do you think something in suede might make me seem more accessible? Weevil throws his gloves at him. The bikers are touching the stock, throwing it around. Felix picks up a pile of folded clothes. NATHAN: Could you-could you please not do that? FELIX: [Throwing the pile up in the air] Oops. Hector is trying on a white jacket. HECTOR: Looks like the new Prada line came in. BIKER: Yeah, man! Hector gives his hyena-like laugh. Clothes are flying everywhere, including into his face as Nathan stands, holding Weevil's gloves, horrified. VERONICA: [Offscreen] Guys! The camera fast forwards to the door. Veronica is standing there. VERONICA: Remember! No white after Labour Day! BIKERS: Aww... The bikers continue their anarchy as Veronica joins Weevil in front of Nathan. VERONICA: [Conversationally] Nathan. Did you happen to find that journal? Nathan is defeated. Cut to the back of Andre's studio. The door opens and the model comes out. Andre follows carrying two large suitcases. Keith is observing from his car. Andre loads the cases into the boot of his car. KEITH: What the hell? Keith gets his gun out of the glove compartment and drives off after Andre. Cut to the train station. Keith confronts them. KEITH: You going somewhere? ANDRE: What's it to you? KEITH: Seems like a strange time to be taking a trip with your girlfriend missing. ANDRE: And how is this your business? KEITH: I was hired by her parents to find her. Something tells me they wouldn't be too keen on the idea of you skipping town right now. ANDRE: Well, that's just it, pal. I'm not skipping town. I'm just dropping off a friend. STATION ANNOUNCER: track number three. All aboard. WOMAN: Can I go? They're boarding now. KEITH: I appreciate you humouring me. Go catch your train. [To Andre] I'll be right here waiting for you. ANDRE: [Walking away with the cases] Well, I'll be right back. Keith watches him go. CLEMMONS: [Offscreen] I would like to take this opportunity Cut to Neptune High. Clemmon's is standing in front of a graffiti covered wall, holding a couple of paint rollers. Weevil and Logan wait their fate. CLEMMONS: to remind you both that you're getting off easy. He hands the rollers to a sceptical Logan. CLEMMONS: This will go on your permanent record but you're extremely fortunate that you're not being suspended or expelled. WEEVIL: Um, does it-does it go on my-my permanent record that I was un-expelled? CLEMMONS: Don't push your luck, Eli. Clemmons leaves them to it. Weevil grabs one of the rollers from Logan. WEEVIL: I'll take this one. They start on either side of an alcove. Weevil is in a wife-beater and as he paints, Logan can see a tattoo situated between his armpit and the expanse of his back. The tattoo is a heart. The name 'Lilly' is bannered across it. Logan marches over to Weevil and pulls the wife-beater down to get a better look. WEEVIL: Hey, man, what are you doing? LOGAN: Hey, what the hell is that? WEEVIL: It's my arm, dawg. LOGAN: What� why do you have Lilly's name on your arm? WEEVIL: You really wanna know? LOGAN: Yeah! WEEVIL: You really wanna know? LOGAN: Yeah, I really wanna know! Both are aggressive at this point. They face off and stare at each other until Weevil answers. WEEVIL: Lilly's my little sister's name, man. That okay wit'cho? Logan doesn't drop the stance or the attitude as Weevil returns to the wall. Weevil turns back to Logan. WEEVIL: You put your hands on me like that again, you'll lose one of 'em. LOGAN: [Not intimidated] Yeah, I think I just peed myself. Logan goes back to his side of the alcove and they carry on with their painting in hostile silence. Air's "La Femme d'Argent" plays. Cut to Sarah's diary. There are words and sketches filling the page. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I guess if you keep a diary, you have to consider the possibility that someone could find it Veronica flips a page. She is at her desk at Mars Investigations. VERONICA VOICEOVER: and be privy to your every intimate secret. At least, that's what I told myself as I pored through Sarah's private thoughts. There were no details of the sexual assault, only its aftermath. Veronica looks closely at a full page sketch entitled "Paradise". It is a coastal view. The camera blends from the sketch to the actual site. It pulls back to show Veronica, considering the scene from her camera display, comparing it with the sketch in her hand. She turns from the railing. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Sarah didn't handle it well. She felt she couldn't talk to her mother. She couldn't relate to her friends. She ran away from home and started sleeping in her car. Veronica, who has been walking along, looking at car license plates, spots one with Ohio plates. She looks in and sees signs that someone has been using the car to live in, a towel, a pillow, a cold box, takeaway drink debris. VERONICA: Bingo. Veronica walks along the beach front, searching for Sarah. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The one bright spot was Andre. She met him in an art class and followed him to Neptune. She spots her. VERONICA: Sarah? Sarah is in a small stand overlooking the beach. There is a collapsible chair against the stand, with a blanket and coat thrown on it but Sarah, in dark glasses, is actually sitting in the stand, looking out over the ocean, a pencil and new journal in her hands. She stands as Veronica approaches her. SARAH: You found me. VERONICA: Everyone's worried about you. SARAH: Are my parents here? VERONICA: Yeah. They're back at the apartment. SARAH: I'm gonna miss all this. Cut to Veronica washing up in the Mars' kitchen. Keith enters the apartment. VERONICA: I found her. KEITH: I know. Word's out in the complex. I'm very impressed. VERONICA: Think I've got a future in the biz? KEITH: I think you've got a future as a highly-paid, Ivy-League educated executive of some sort who never thinks about private investigation again in her perfect life. Now. Let's do something normal fathers and daughters do. VERONICA: Buy me a pony? KEITH: I was thinking I'd watch TV and you'd rub my feet. VERONICA: [Not tempted] Hmm. Yeah, that's normal. Cut to Sarah and Andre upstairs, in the bedroom of their apartment. Sarah is sitting on the bed, holding Killer. Andre is checking the pockets of his jacket. ANDRE: Have you seen my keys? SARAH: You're not leaving, are you? ANDRE: [Wearily] No, Sarah. I'm not the one who's always running. Look, I've spent the last two hours making small talk with your parents. They didn't come two thousand miles to see me. SARAH: I told you, I-I don't wanna deal with them. ANDRE: Yeah, well, you're gonna have to deal with them sometime. SARAH: You're right. ANDRE: I'm gonna take Killer for a walk. I'll be right back. He kisses her on the top of her head. ANDRE: I love you. SARAH: I love you too. ANDRE: Come 'ere buddy. Come on. Andre takes Killer in his arms and leaves the bedroom. Sarah watches him go then looks towards the room where her parents wait. VERONICA: [Offscreen] I have to say Cut to the Mars' apartment. Keith is sprawled in his armchair. Veronica is sitting on the small couch next to him. The faint sound of the television can be heard in the background. VERONICA: �I still really don't trust Andre. KEITH: I don't know. He knows about the DNA test, that� the baby's not his. And he said it didn't matter. VERONICA: Which in itself is all sorts of freakish. Veronica gets up from the couch and heads for the kitchen. KEITH: Or it's a testament to how much he loves her. A man's gotta be pretty committed to a woman, who would agree to raise another man's child. Veronica, pouring herself a drink, suddenly pauses. Keith's voice fades. KEITH: You know who the real father is? Hello? Earth to Mars! Veronica comes out of her reverie. VERONICA: What? KEITH: Where did you go just now? VERONICA: Nowhere. What'd you just ask me? KEITH: Who the father is. Cut to Sarah's apartment. Sarah approaches Emily and Randall, sitting at the small table in the living room. EMILY: Oh, Sarah! What's wrong? SARAH: [Quietly] Mom, there's something you should know. Cut to the Mars' apartment. Keith is up and agitated. KEITH: Why didn't you tell me she was raped? VERONICA: I just found out. SARAH: [Offscreen, heard through the ceiling] He raped me! He raped me! EMILY: [Offscreen] These are lies! You are a liar! Why are you trying to hurt me! SARAH: [Offscreen] Shut up and listen to me for once! KEITH: [Groaning] Oh god. SARAH: [Offscreen] Your husband raped me! KEITH: [Pointing at Veronica] Just stay here. Keith hurries out, leaving Veronica looking up at the ceiling, worried. Cut to Sarah. SARAH: No, I'm done keeping quiet. RANDALL: That's enough. Sarah cocks and holds up the gun. EMILY: Sarah! RANDALL: You're not gonna hurt me again. Keith is banging at the door. KEITH: Open up! While Sarah is distracted by Keith, Randall knocks the gun out of her hand. They both scrabble for the gun. Randall getting there first. He throws Sarah off of him and she flies onto her back on the floor. EMILY: Randall! Randall crawls on top of Sarah and raises his hand in the air, holding the pistol, about to pistol-whip her. EMILY: No! There's a shot and blood spatters from Randall's shoulder as he goes down with a grunt of pain. Emily screams, Sarah sobs and Keith can be seen through the nearly curtain-covered window, his gun trained on Randall. The window has a hole from his bullet. Sarah pulls herself away from Randall and Emily crouches down to hold her. EMILY: I'm sorry. Randall, breathing heavily and groaning, holds his shoulder, looks at the blood and falls back. Veronica races to and opens the upstairs gate to the upper floor balcony. She sees Keith lower his gun outside the window of #210. Keith heads for the door. Cut to the gurney being loaded onto the ambulance. There is various chatter on the radios of the emergency services. Veronica watches from the balcony next to the gate. Keith walks over to her and looks out over the scene. VERONICA: How is she? KEITH: She's resting. She's gonna be okay. VERONICA: So, I guess I'm grounded. Keith thinks for a moment. KEITH: I'm gonna let you slide on this one. Keith puts his arm around his daughter and pulls her to him. The camera pulls back. VERONICA VOICEOVER: But can I let myself slide? Sure, the real tragedy happened long before I came along. I just brought it to the surface. But are some things better left buried? End.	Plan: A: her pregnant neighbor; Q: Who is Sarah? A: Sarah; Q: Whose boyfriend disappears? A: Veronica; Q: Who learns that her mom and Jake Kane were dating in high school? A: Sarah's boyfriend; Q: Who did Sarah's disappearance lead Veronica to believe killed her? A: Logan; Q: Who discovers that Lilly was secretly seeing Weevil before her death? A: detention; Q: What do Logan and Weevil get together? A: a flashback; Q: How does Veronica try to find out why Duncan broke up with her? Summary: When her pregnant neighbor Sarah disappears, Veronica tries to find out if Sarah's boyfriend killed her. Logan and Weevil get detention together, and Logan discovers that Lilly was secretly seeing Weevil before her death. Veronica learns that her mom and Jake Kane were dating in high school, and a flashback shows Veronica trying to find out why Duncan broke up with her.
At Degrassi, Spike is doing Caitlin's hair for the movie Spike: So your big screen début huh? Are you nervous? You seem a little nervous. Caitlin: It's normal when you're planning a wedding right? Spike: What?! Caitlin: I asked Joey to marry me and he said yes. Spike: Congratulations! That is so amazing! (They hug) Kevin: Alright folks time to shoot. Shoot. Woah! This is why I came up here to shoot. Speaking of which, chance to catch Canadian chicks embracing like that. Spike: Even if the chicks are already spoken for? Kevin: Christine you may be spoken for, this one though... Spike: Asked Joey to marry her. I've got to call Emma. Excuse me. Kevin: Seriously? Caitlin: Yeah. Kevin: Um wow. I must be the worst kisser in the world cause- Caitlin: No Kevin! No! Kevin: Uh you know what I'm sorry I've got to set the first shot for the day so I'll just, I'll meet you out there. Hey uh Mewes! In the cafeteria, Spinner sees scrambled eggs on the stove Spinner: Jay? Hey I'm not getting freaked out by this lame hide and seek game! I'm gonna eat your breakfast man. Hey! (He sees someone in a hood walking and jumps on him.) Craig: My arm. Ow. Spinner: Craig? Craig: Spinner get off me. Spinner: Dude what are doing here? I thought you were in England. Craig: After the song's done for Kevin Smith's movie. He's kind of bending the rules a little bit, he's letting me hang here. Oh my eggs are done. Oh nobody knows, okay? Spinner: Lips are uh stealed. Um dude I just want to say about Ash and the whole band thing- Craig: Oh Spin it's in the past. It's like, it's water under the bridge. Spinner: Okay. Um she was a good contribution though. I mean she knew her stuff. Craig: No. She was a virus. She gets her way inside. Everything's okay for a bit then bam! She rips it all apart. I'm gonna be in the boiler room. I got work to do, but uh lips sealed my friend right? In the science lab, filming Jay: (In character) You are the ones who are the filthy potty mouths. These guys keep talking about their periodic table! Ellie: (In character) Mrs. Hoffman! He went into my purse, stole my tampons and did, did this! (Kevin turns around with tampons in his nose.) Kevin: Uh Mrs. Joey that'd be your line hun. Caitlin: Sorry! Brain-dead over here. Kevin: I would not disagree with you. Cut! We'll be going again kids. Ellie: Um can you take your hand off my knee? Jay: What? What oh? What was that doing there? Naughty. Naughty you! In the boiler room, Craig is trying to Craig: (singing) Never be a single place. There'll never be a single place. I can see your face, but I know from...I know from fate. In the science lab, filming Slate girl: Take 35. Caitlin: (In character) Have you heard about the old fashioned Cajun, Canad... Kevin: Wrong! Cut. Slate girl: Take 36. Caitlin: (In character) Have you heard about the good old fashioned Canadian strap Jason? Kevin: Okay cut. It's not Jason. That's his name in real life. It's Jay in the movie. It's three lines. Can you get through three lines? Caitlin: I know my lines Kevin! I'm just, after 36 takes I'm a little bit flustered. Kevin: You know what? I'm a little bit flustered and I would almost rather have anyone else in this room do the part except you. As a matter of fact, hey uh slate girl why don't you jump in there and do the part. Slate girl: Do I get paid? Jay: Even better than that. You swing by my trailer, we'll do a little open mouth kissing. Slate girl: Uh no! Kevin: Don't listen to this fool. It's real easy. Just jump behind there. Start acting like you're not up in your head thinking about wedding gowns. (Caitlin starts to leave.) Kevin: Where are you going? Caitlin: Maybe you should start acting like a director and not some jealous boyfriend! Kevin: Yeah well maybe you should try acting like an actress instead of whatever it is that TV that... she's gone. Slate girl: (In character) Well Jay that doesn't cut it for me or any other woman at this school, so from this point on I want you to just stop- Craig: Kevin? Is Kevin here? Kevin: Cut! Craig: Okay the problem I was having I was writing a love song. It should be like a, like a breakup, like leaving high school is breaking up with your teen years What do you think? Kevin: I think you got to do what you got to do. Craig what are you doing here? (Craig rushes out of the room.) Spinner: Um Mr. Smith? Kevin: Yeah. Oh my god who are you now? Spinner: I'm, I'm Spinner. I'm a friend of Craig's. Kevin: Well Spinner, friend of Craig's, what is Craig doing here instead of being in England where he's supposed to be? Spinner: He's staying here on set. He's sleeping here. He told me you knew that. Kevin: I knew that? Spinner the only thing I know is that making a movie with a bunch of high school kids, way worse than making a movie with Ben Affleck. Way worse. Take one of these. (Kevin takes some fruit from Spinner, and Spinner dials a number on his cell phone.) In the boiler room, Joey and Spinner walk in Craig: Oh Kevin! Great, great, great! Come on in! I'm still working on the lyrics! Let me just play what I- (He sees Joey and Spinner.) At Craig's house Caitlin: (On the phone) I think you know what you can do with Tessa Campanelli's address Nick. Oh uh that's Joey coming in the door. Yup! Okay. Bye. Uh invite list is shaping up. Joey: Remind me. Did I or did I not tell you that sending Craig off to England was a bad idea Caitlin? Caitlin: Woah. Don't make it my fault! Joey: Oh no? It was your idea. You supported it and now he and Ashley broke up and you know what, he's been living in the Degrassi boiler room. Angela: Okay, we're going upstairs. Caitlin: Aren't you at all curious as to why he lied? Felt he couldn't trust you? Joey: Trust me? I'm the only one he can trust. Caitlin: Joey you fly off the handle! Joey: And you don't think! You never have! Like up and, and quitting your job! Why? Caitlin: Oh okay thanks for mixing up the fight Joey! And as for Craig, Kevin and I saw what you couldn't! His heart was breaking. Joey: Well you know what? I am more concerned about his mind right now because it is a hell of a lot more fragile. And look if you want to consider yourself a part of this family... Caitlin: Don't pull the family card because if it wasn't for me you wouldn't even have a roof over your head! At Kevin's trailer, Caitlin is crying Caitlin: You were right and you're the only person I want to talk to. Kevin: Come in. In the streets, Craig sees a bum trying to make money by playing drums Skinny: Hey not a free show. (Craig pulls out his guitar.) Skinny: Uh I meant that as a donation. Not a duet. Craig: Alright. (They start playing together and people drop in some money.) Skinny: Beggars can't be choosers huh. Skinny. Craig: Craig. Skinny: Craig I'll tell you what, you play another hour and uh I'll split what we rake in 50/50. Craig: Throw in a place to crash and it's a deal. Skinny: Done. [SCENE_BREAK] In the gymnasium, they're filming a dance Caitlin: Is it Kevin now or Silent Bob? Kevin: What brings you back to my setup Ms. Ryan? Caitlin: Uh I just wanted to thank you for the pep talk last night and um being a friend. Kevin: I am a friend. For now. The next time you show up in my room, 2 in the morning I'm getting to second base at least. Maybe third. Deal? Caitlin: Deal. Manny: (In character) Jay if you really love me than you're gonna have to wait until I'm 18. Jay: (In character) I'd wait forever my love. What grade are you in? Manny: (In character) I'm a freshman. Jay: (In character) Freshman?! Yo is there any seniors up in this piece? (Kevin puts out his hand asking Caitlin for a dance.) Kevin: Come on. Caitlin: Shouldn't you be directing? Kevin: Like I ever direct. Caitlin: What kind of movie is this anyway? Kevin: It's my movie alright and in my movie Kevin Smith gets to dance with Caitlin Ryan. (A couple ninjas jump out from the stage and Manny screams.) Jay: (In character) Oh snap. Canadian ninjas lunchbox! Hip hip! Snoogin(?)! (Jay and Silent Bob start fighting the ninjas and Joey walks into the scene.) Jay: (In character) Oh sir look! Joey: Hey hey! Sorry. I'm looking for Caitlin. Kevin: Cut! Caitlin: Listen I know I should have called, but by the time I woke up Spike to let me come in and crash- Joey: Just forget about that okay?! I can't find Craig anywhere. I think he's run away again. Caitlin: What? Joey: Look I called his friends, I called the police. I even called Ashley in London. Okay they haven't seen him. He's just disappeared. He even stopped taking his medication. Caitlin: Okay we'll find him, alright? You and me. Come on. In the streets Skinny: Three dollars and 82 cents. You know what that gets us? Craig: These are hard times and I think with the weather and I don't know, maybe the economy and all- Skinny: Hey. Craig: You want to ask him for money? Skinny: Why ask when I could take his wallet. Craig: Woah. We can't just rob somebody. Skinny: You know how much his car is worth and we can't even afford dinner. Craig: Wait. Skinny stop. (Skinny punches Craig.) Craig: What was that for?! (Craig hits him back, Skinny starts beating up Craig, then picks up his guitar.) Craig: No not my guitar! No, no, not my guitar! Please! Skinny: Looks more like breakfast, lunch, dinner and a lot of meals after that. Craig: No not my guitar! No! No please not my guitar! (Joey is shown handing a picture to the police.) At Craig's house, Caitlin and Angie are working on missing person posters Caitlin: That's perfect Angie. (There's a knock at the door.) Caitlin: Hey. Kevin: Hey. Hope this isn't being too intrusive. Caitlin: No. Kevin: I just had a few hours till call tonight and I felt like maybe I should stop by and see if you guys heard anything. Angela: Craig still isn't home. Caitlin: We're dying over here. Just wish we could talk to him you know? Two minutes, anything. Kevin: Well do you think maybe a public appeal made by a Z-Grade celebrity might help in any way? It's worth a shot right? At a soup kitchen, Craig is eating soup Craig: This is fine. This is just like home, just like my mom made. This is fine. This is fine. Kevin: (On the TV) We need your help finding uh this teenager. His name is Craig Manning, he's 16 years old, he goes to Degrassi Community School and he's been missing since yesterday. This is his dad Joey. Craig: I know that guy! It's Kevin! Hey! Joey: (On the TV) Craig. We all love you. Just want you back okay? Just please come home to us. Craig: It's Kevin Smith. I'm writing a song for his movie. It's Kevin Smith. I'm writing a song for his movie. Here listen. (Singing) There'll never be a single place where I feel safe, where I can escape from you! Huh do you like it? I wrote it. Yeah. (There's a guy at the soup kitchen that looks at the picture on the TV and recognizes Craig in front of him.) Joey: (On the TV) If anyone knows him please call 1-555-MISSING. Outside the school Kevin: So thanks for dropping me off. It was really cool of you. Sure you don't want to hang out tonight? We're shooting the big football game scene where Jay saves Apollonia from the soul-sucking cheerleaders of Kingsburg. Caitlin: I should really be there for when Joey brings Craig back. Kevin: Yeah. Joey. Caitlin: Thank you. Kevin: For what? Caitlin: Everything. Kevin: I'm sorry I have to try this again. (Goes in to kiss her) JT: Mr. Smith? Kevin: James Tiberius! JT: A testy first AD wants you on set. As in immediately. Kevin: Tell him I'll be there in a couple. Go. Adults are talking now. That uh AD is kind of a man-eater so I'm gonna head off. Hey. Just don't settle alright? You know for somebody else's idea of what the real world is. You're just far too cool a chick for that. Pick your own real world. You deserve that much. At the soup kitchen Craig: Guitar. My guitar. He took my guitar when I said! When he knew that it was mine! (He sees Joey) Joey! Joey. Joey can help me get my guitar back can't you Joey? Listen he stole it. My friend. No. Not my friend! Does Caitlin hate me? Joey: Why would Caitlin hate you?! Craig: Because I make you fight. And I run away and I, I always hurt you. Like my dad hurt me. You know my dad used to hit me? Oh but you just think I'm crazy. Everyone just thinks I'm crazy! Joey: No I don't think you're crazy! You're ill okay Craig? It's the bipolar acting up. Craig: You blame everything on me being crazy! Joey: I won't. I won't, I promise you. Never again okay? Just can we get you home. Craig please. Craig: Joey. My guitar. What did I do with my guitar? Just help me find it please. At Craig's house Joey: He's asleep. I got him to agree to go to the police first thing and give a description of this Skinny. Who calls themselves that anyways? Caitlin: Who calls themselves Snake or Wheels? Joey: I just hope this guy's neck is skinny enough for me to break. Caitlin: He might be mentally ill too Joey! Remember that. I mean maybe he's another lost Craig. Joey: Oh come on! You don't see Craig beating up strangers in the street do ya? Caitlin: No he just beats you up at home! Joey: Just...forget it. Caitlin: What are we doing Joey? Joey: Fighting. Like usual. Caitlin: All we ever do is fight. I mean Craig's upstairs safe and sound. How can we get married? Really. I mean I love you and Craig and Angela so much, but this it's just... Joey: It's not what it should be. So are you gonna take that job offer in LA? Caitlin: Thinking about it yeah. In the auditorium, filming the scene where Jay and Silent Bob Jay: (In character) Yo Edmond Fitzgerald Secondary me and Lunchbox would to thank yous Canadians for treating us like one of yous guys. You all talk stupid but you have great beer. Kevin: (In character) Let me just add because... heavens. But beat your blizzards or your bonome (?) de neige or your courier du bois! Jay: (In character) What kind of baby talk is that? That was just... (Kevin hits Jay in the crotch and he falls over.) Jay: Dude! Kevin: (In character) You made me and my fawn hetero-life mate feel like a big part of your home and native land and seriously made this the best bleepin' year of our lives. Woo! (Everyone throws off their graduation caps.) Kevin: Cut! Degrassi that's a wrap! (Everyone starts cheering.) Kevin: (He hugs Ellie and Toby) Kids! Don't ever work again! Thank you. Thank you for all your help Kevin: (Hugs Manny) You! You were heaven on earth love, now get out of my way. Jay: Sir why do you always have to get the last line in? Kevin: Why does it bother you so much is my question. Jay: Cause you're always trying to upstage me! Oh look at me I'm Silent Bob! Kevin: Oh look at this! (He hits him in the crotch again) Jay: Dude! I took the cup off! Kevin: And I knew that. Mr. Manning. Craig: Kevin. Kevin: Well remembered sir. Oh hello. Caitlin: Congratulations. Kevin: Thank you Ms. Ryan. Caitlin: And now congratulate me. Kevin: Why would I be doing that exactly? Caitlin: Cause I said yes to the LA offer. Kevin: No! Caitlin: Ryan's Planet will spin once again because of you. Kevin: Come here. (They hug while Joey sees them and leaves the room.) Craig: Joey where are you going? The party's just getting started. Joey: Home. Sorry Caitlin's home. Craig: We're supposed to talk remember? It goes both ways. Joey: (crying) I don't want her to go. (Craig hugs him.) Craig: I know. I know. But I'm here and Angie's here and we're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. Joey: Okay. Back in the auditorium Kevin: Folks I would like to raise a very simple toast. To Degrassi! (Everyone is cheering and Joey and Caitlin raise a sad toast to each other.)	Plan: A: his bipolar medication; Q: What is Craig off? A: Craig; Q: Who disappears into the streets? A: trouble; Q: What does Craig find himself in? A: Kevin; Q: Joey tries to save his relationship when Caitlin begins spending more time with whom? Summary: Off his bipolar medication and getting out of control, Craig disappears into the streets where he finds himself in trouble, and it's up to Joey to save him. Meanwhile, Joey attempts to save his relationship when Caitlin begins spending more time with Kevin.
VARIOUS B/W FOOTAGE OF OLD LAS VEGAS, THE FIGHTS, CELEBRITIES VARIOUS B/W FOOTAGE OF OLD LAS VEGAS, SHOWS FADE INTO: [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE -- FRONT - NIGHT] (Party guests climb up the front steps. Sam Braun is greeted at the entrance.) Doorman: Good evening, Mr. Braun. Go right in. (Sam Braun continues into the party.) [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE -- FRONT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Sam Braun mingles as he makes his way into the party.) Voice: How are ya? Sam Braun: Good to see you. How've you been? Drop by the Tangier's. Dinner's on me. (Camera pans over the table and we see a display of books, "Kisses & Kisses"). (Various cuts of the guests at the party. Most of them are from an older crowd.) (Sam greets a dark-haired woman.) Sam Braun: Hi. Woman: Hi! How are you! [SCENE_BREAK] (Sam shakes hands with a white-haired man.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Sam passes a waiter and grabs a glass of wine off the tray.) [SCENE_BREAK] INTERCUT WITH: [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - BEDROOM - NIGHT] (The double doors open and Tim Duke, dressed as a waiter, walks in. He takes out a revolver and cocks the weapon.) (Sam Braun walks up to the edge of the dance floor, his eyes on the woman dancing center stage with her partner.) (In the dressing closet, Tim Duke walks through and puts the gun down on the counter. He opens a drawer.) (The woman continues to dance with her partner as others watch and applaud.) (The song ends.) Lois O'Neill: Woo! I haven't been this out of breath since I bet Frank Sinatra I wasn't ticklish. (The crowd watching laughs.) Lois O'Neill: In a few minutes, there'll be cake and champagne, so stick around; the party's not over yet. (Lois walks off the dance floor and Eve Girard meets up with her.) Eve Girard: You've got eight minutes to change. I'll come help you. Lois O'Neill: No, no, no. I'm fine. Go get the cake ready. Eve Girard: Okay. Lois O'Neill: And, Eve ... light the candles. (Eve looks at her, nods and smiles. She turns to leave and bumps into Li'l Cherry.) Eve Girard: Oh ... hi. (Eve leaves; Li'l Cherry turns to Lois.) Li'l Cherry: Oh, hey, happy birthday. Um, I got to go soon ... I got to go do my show. So ... (Lois turns and looks at Li'l Cherry.) Lois O'Neill: For years, I did two shows a night, partied with the boys for hours, got a little sleep, played some tennis, gave interviews, got on stage and did it all over again. That's talent. You've got a look. Pace yourself, honey. (The woman looks at Lois as Lois turns to head upstairs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - BEDROOM - NIGHT] (The doors open. Brass, Grissom and Greg walk in.) Brass: Lois O'Neill's bedroom ... the stuff dreams are made of. (Grissom points to the dead body in the walk-in closet.) Grissom: Or nightmares. (They head for the walk-in closet.) Grissom: Did, uh, Miss O'Neill tell you about this guy? Brass: We don't know where she is. She disappeared about an hour ago. Her assistant went looking for her, found the victim. ID'd him as Tim Duke. Greg: Gun left on the body ... isn't that how the mob used to do it? Brass: Well, back in the day, Lois O'Neill was famous for singing and dancing. She was also famous for being the girlfriend of Tony Constantine, one of the founding fathers of Vegas. (Grissom snaps a couple of pictures of the dead body with the camera.) Greg: Looks like a bank vault. (Greg points to the gold-colored door at the end of the closet. Greg heads over to the door.) Grissom: Well, the founding father has placed a high priority on home security. Have we been in there yet? Brass: No, it hasn't been cleared yet. I'll go get the combination. (Brass turns and leaves.) (Greg puts his kit down on the ground. He sees two dents on the door.) Greg: Ricochet marks. (Grissom walks over and snaps a couple of pictures.) (Greg takes out a glove and finds something on the carpet.) Greg: Possible bullet fragments. (Grissom snaps another photo.) Greg: Bullets here, body there ... Grissom: Moving target, maybe. (Brass returns with Eve Girard.) Brass: Gentlemen, this is Eve Girard, Miss O'Neill's assistant. Would you open the vault, please? Eve Girard: Okay. Brass: I'll be downstairs. (Eve walks over to the door and twists the combination lock. The lock clicks. She pushes the door open and steps aside.) (Grissom turns his flashlight on and steps inside.) Grissom: Thank you. (He looks around. We hear whimpering coming from off screen. Grissom turns and finds Lois O'Neill cowering on the floor under the counter.) Lois O'Neill: Just get it over with. Eve Girard: Lois! (She rushes over to her.) Eve Girard: Lois! Oh, my God! (Eve helps Lois to her feet. She clings to Eve.) Lois O'Neill: Oh ... I thought this was my last birthday. SMASH CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (Lois is sitting on the sofa and sipping from a coffee cup.) Brass: In the middle of the party, you went upstairs to change. Isn't that unusual? (Lois laughs.) Lois O'Neill: No, I ... I always wear one outfit to greet guests, another for dinner and dancing, and another for dessert. (The waiter brings Lois a glass of brandy. She adds it to her drink.) Lois O'Neill: Thanks. Brass: So, uh, Tim Duke, the waiter ... did you know him before this? Lois O'Neill: He worked the children's hospital dance a few weeks ago. He was charming. (She takes a sip from her drink.) Lois O'Neill: I thought he could use the job. Brass: Right. Lois O'Neill: I was changing. I'd ordered a drink brought up. (Quick flashback to: A gun fires. Tim Duke grunts and falls to the floor. Lois O'Neill is in her vault changing. She sees him crawling on the floor.) Lois O'Neill: (V.O.) He was crawling, to get away. (She closes the vault door. Outside, two shots ricochet off the door.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Lois O'Neill: And then I heard another shot. (She imitates the sound of a gunshot.) Lois O'Neill: (cries) That's, uh ... that's when I knew it was a mob hit. (Greg nods.) Lois O'Neill: Look, if you find his family, I'd like to do something for them. I mean, after all, if he hadn't come in just then, I'd be dead. Greg: Who'd want to kill you? (She turns and looks at Greg. She sees his name on his jacket.) Lois O'Neill: Do you have a first name, Sanders? Greg: Greg. Lois O'Neill: Greg ... (She turns and takes a book off the table next to her. She looks at Brass and holds out her hand.) Lois O'Neill: Do you ... ? (Brass hands her his pen.) Lois O'Neill: Thank you. (Lois signs the book. Brass glances over at Greg and they both share a grin.) (She hands him the book.) Lois O'Neill: Hot off the press. I didn't hold back. I named names. After all this time, I thought, who'd care? Greg: Well, maybe you thought wrong. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - BEDROOM CLOSET -- NIGHT] (Sara snaps a photo of the dead body. David Phillips finishes taking the liver temperature.) David Phillips: Based on liver temp, been dead one to two hours. It looks like two shots -- to the chest, and a through-and-through to the head. (She takes more photos.) Sara: Not a lot of blood. Shot to the heart . Sometimes it collects in the chest cavity rather than bleeding out. (David finds a wad of bills in the dead man's pocket. He takes it out and quickly looks at it, counting the amount.) David Phillips: A thousand ... when I was a waiter back in college, if I had three twenties in my pocket, it was a good night. Sara: At Chuck E. Cheese, that was a good week. (Sara finds a crack vial.) Sara: Crack vial? Could explain the cash; maybe he was dealing. (David nods.) David Phillips: And these ... (He opens the man's hand to show her the black burn on the man's fingertip.) (Sara snaps a photo of it.) (Quick flash to: Someone burns crack in a smoking pipe. He inhales and burns his finger on the glass tube. End of flash.) FLASH TO: [INT. O'NEILL'S RESIDENCE - BEDROOM - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Catherine stands in front of the bedroom side table up against the wall. She's standing very still and staring at something. Sara exits the bedroom closet.) Sara: Found a crack vial on him, and $1,000 in cash. (Catherine turns and shows Sara the table full of framed photos.) Catherine: Presidents, movie stars ... a drug-dealing waiter isn't the kind of guy usually associated with Lois O'Neill. On the other hand ... (She picks up a particular photo.) Tony Constantine. (She picks up another photo of four showgirls. She looks at the photo and chuckles.) Sara: What? Catherine: The Copa girls from the Sands. (points) That's Lois O'Neill. (points) That's my mother. (She puts the photo back down on the table and notices the note on the flowers arrangement.) Catherine: (reads) "Happy birthday to my beautiful doll! Love always, Tony"? Sara: I thought he was dead. Catherine: Dead, like Jimmy Hoffa. The only guys who know aren't telling. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - LOBBY - NIGHT] (Nick goes over the itinerary with Eve Girard.) Nick: This party is organized like an invasion plan. "6:15: Bar set up and ready. 6:25: Lois greets guests in foyer. 7:15: Lois changes into her dinner outfit." Talk about attention to detail. (Eve holds out three video tapes for Nick.) Eve Girard: From the security cameras on the perimeter of the building. Nick: What about the interior cameras? Eve Girard: With all the extra measures, Lois felt they weren't necessary. Frankly, I think she just didn't want to be caught on tape first thing in the morning. Nick: Hmm. I'll need a list of all the guests who were here tonight. (She hands him the list.) Eve Girard: Guests and staff, their affiliation and recent accomplishments ... Lois likes to personalize conversation. Everyone's still here. Nick: (nods) You're thorough. Eve Girard: Well, that's my job. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SECOND FLOOR BALCONY - NIGHT] (Catherine steps out onto the balcony and looks around at the railing.) (She looks down and sees a white cloth on the concrete.) (Quick flash to: Someone in a tux walks out onto the balcony and slips over the railing. He drops the white cloth as he leaves. End of flash.) FLASH TO: [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - FOYER - NIGHT] (Undersheriff Jeff McKeen talks with Grissom.) Undersheriff Jeff Mckeen: Grissom, do you have any idea who's in this crowd? Grissom: I sure do. (Looks at the guest list and notes. Nick stands on the side and watches.) Grissom: "Under-Sheriff Jeff McKeen. Arrival: 6:38 pm. Wife: Amanda. Recent accomplishment: Ran marathon for children's hospital, placed tenth in his age group." Good job, Jeff. Undersheriff Jeff Mckeen: More than one of these VIPs has the governor's home number, which is why my phone's been ringing with orders to let them go. Grissom: Well, no one on this list came late or left early, so everyone here is still a suspect, until they're not. Nick: And based on our interviews so far, only a few people actually left the room when Lois O'Neill was gone. Undersheriff Jeff Mckeen: Who? Nick: Among others, her ... a pop star known as Li'l Cherry. She was due onstage at Mandalay Bay half an hour ago. Undersheriff Jeff Mckeen: Keep her and anyone else who left the room. Let the rest go. (Grissom looks a little surprised by the order. He looks at Nick and nods. Nick sighs.) (Catherine walks up to Grissom and shows him the handkerchief in a plastic bag.) Catherine: Found this handkerchief hanging off the balcony. I'll get it to Hodges. Grissom: Good. By the way ... Sam's here. (Grissom points. Catherine turns around and sees Sam Braun sitting alone on the couch.) Grissom: He's one of the guests who was out of the room when the murder occurred. (She turns and looks at him.) Catherine: Well, I should say hi to dear old Dad. (Catherine walks over to Sam Braun.) Catherine: Hi, Sam. (He looks up and sees her.) Sam Braun: Mugs. (He automatically rises to his feet as Catherine sits down next to him. They both sit down.) Catherine: Sam, when you left this room tonight, where did you go? Upstairs? Sam Braun: Just walked around downstairs, saying hello to the old ghosts. You know, I introduced Lois and Tony, back when I was a floor manager. She was in the line with your mother. Catherine: (nods) Mm. Maybe Mom fell for the wrong gangster. Sam Braun: Lily was a sweet girl. But Lois ... she had to be a star. A real Coal Miner's Daughter from Rackville, Pennsylvania. But once she met Tony, she never had to go back. Catherine: You always were a sucker for a hot dancer, weren't you, Sam? Sam Braun: Me and Lois -- I love her, but I like to be in the driver's seat. Like this dancer I'm seeing now -- she's working tonight; that's why I came stag. Catherine: Must be serious. That's the first time you haven't asked me how Mom's doing. She's fine, by the way. [SCENE_BREAK] (Nick walks over to talk with Bobby Jensen.) Nick: Mr. Jensen. I'm Nick Stokes. I'm with the Crime Lab. I'm familiar with your daughter's case. [Note: Reference to episode CSI-5X07: Formalities] Nick: Sorry for your loss. You knew Mr. Constantine, right? (He nods.) Were there any other friends of Mr. Constantine here tonight? Bobby Jensen: Yeah, there were friends here. And enemies. Nick: You want to elaborate a little bit more on those enemies? Bobby Jensen: Stokes, you trying to get me in trouble? Nick: Hey, man, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of what happened here tonight. Several witnesses said they saw you leave the room. Alone. Bobby Jensen: I went outside to have a cigarette-- told her I wouldn't smoke in the house. Filthy habit. Trying to quit. Nick: Mm. (Grissom walks up to talk with Li'l Cherry. Her bodyguard stands nearby.) Li'l Cherry: (to phone) Frickin' cops won't let me go. Yeah. Grissom: Miss Cherry? Li'l Cherry: (to phone) Bye-bye. Grissom: I'm with the Crime Lab. I need to ask you a few questions. (She scoffs, ignores him and starts dialing.) Li'l Cherry: (to phone) Hey, it's me. Are they freaking out backstage? (Grissom grabs her wrist and pulls her phone away from her ear.) Grissom: Excuse me ... Li'l Cherry: What the ... ? Grissom: Please? (She shuts her phone. He glances down and sees the burn on her finger.) Grissom: Where did you go when Miss O'Neill left the ballroom early this evening? Li'l Cherry: Uh, the bathroom. Grissom: Do you recall what time you came back? Li'l Cherry: What, do you punch a clock every time you take a leak? (He glances down and notices the bruises on her knees.) Grissom: Did you know the victim, Tim Duke? Li'l Cherry: I don't know anybody, okay? My publicist made me come to this thing. I guess Lo-Lois needed somebody with a pulse, so ... (As she talks, he puts on some gloves.) Grissom: May I take a look at your handbag? Li'l Cherry: I got a show to do. I've got two thousand people waiting for me right now. Grissom: We can get a warrant, but you'll get out of here faster if you let me see the bag. (She tries to run and is stopped by an officer.) Officer: Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! (The bodyguard steps forward and punches the officer.) (Li'l Cherry tries to run again. A second officer grabs her.) Bodyguard: Get your hands off of her! Officer: (o.s.) Hey, you're under arrest for assaulting an officer. BODYGUARD: (o.s.) I was doing my job. (Li'l Cherry drops her bag.) Grissom: Well ... now I don't need a warrant. (He picks up her bag and finds the glass pipe inside.) (Grissom looks at her, his lips twitching.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (Brass and Sofia Curtis interview Li'l Cherry, who is with her lawyer.) Li'l Cherry: I don't know how that crack pipe got in my purse, so ... Lawyer: There. My client denies the pipe is hers, denies any drug use, doesn't know the victim and has no prior relationship to Miss O'Neill. There's nothing to discuss. Brass: The pipe was in your possession. Plus, you were displaying symptoms of crack use publicly. Sofia Curtis: And you were at a recent party where the victim, who also used crack, was working. Brass: And now you admitted to leaving the ballroom after Ms. O'Neill. Lawyer: Coincidences don't make a homicide. Sofia Curtis: You recognized Tim Duke and you needed a fix. (Quick flashback to: [BEDROOM CLOSET] The doors open. Tim Duke and Li'l Cherry enter. She's badgering him for a fix.) Li'l Cherry: Come on ... Tim Duke: Look, I'm not holding. I told you before. Li'l Cherry: Come on, man. Look ... here, man. See? (She finds the crack vial.) Tim Duke: What are you gonna give me? (He grabs her. She pushes him back, takes a gun out of her bag and fires.) Li'l Cherry: Hey! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sofia Curtis: You wiped down the gun with a handkerchief ... Lawyer: No one has established that my client had a gun. Sofia Curtis: And you didn't want to be seen leaving the bedroom, so you climbed down the balcony to rejoin the party. Brass: Which is how you scraped your knees. (Quick flashback to: [EXT. BALCONY] Li'l Cherry runs out onto the balcony and climbs over the railing. End of flashback.) (Li'l Cherry laughs.) Li'l Cherry: Okay, I'll admit I was outside. But ... Lawyer: It's in your best interests not to ... Li'l Cherry: It's cool. Um ... it wasn't just, uh, Lois's birthday tonight, it was also my bodyguard's birthday, and I scraped my knees giving him his present. Sofia Curtis: You're going to need to cancel your shows for awhile. We're holding you on possession of paraphernalia, and unlawful use. Li'l Cherry: What do I have to do to make you believe me? Brass: I already had my birthday. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - NIGHT] (Robbins and David Phillips look at the body under an x-ray. Warrick is watching the monitor.) Robbins: All right, areas of callus here. Old fractures ... ribs ... Warrick: This guy must've worked some pretty rough shifts. That must be the bullet, right there. Robbins: Yeah, I'll yank it in autopsy. Warrick: What's that happening all around the nose area? Robbins: It's a nose cage. (Quick flash of: The bridge of the nose on the patient is cut open.) (Camera zooms in and we see an extreme close-up of a drill drilling holes.) Robbins: (V.O.) Nose has been wired to the skull to hold it in place. (CGI EFX has wire staples in the holes to hold the two pieces together. The pieces are pulled together, sealing the gaps.) (Camera zooms back out.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Robbins: We find them sometimes in boxers, accident victims ... Warrick: You ever see one on a waiter? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - BEDROOM CLOSET - NIGHT] (Sara is on the floor looking at the bloodstain on the floor when Greg walks in. He's already reading the book.) Greg: Wow! You know, Lois had her first sexual experience on her ninth-grade field trip to the state capitol ... with the governor. Sara: I found the bullet hole. Could you bring the Sawzall? Greg: Well, you know, this place is a piece of Las Vegas history; you don't want to just go and chop it up. Sara: It's a crime scene, and there's evidence under the floor. Greg: Yeah, but we don't know exactly where it is, so ... (Greg pulls out a case and opens it. He lifts out the camera.) Greg: ... I thought we'd let Hawkeye here do a little exploration for us. Sara: Sure. I wouldn't want to damage priceless, 40-year-old carpeting. Greg: No. (Cut to: Greg sets the camera up and turns the light on. Sara inserts the tip of the camera into the carpeting. She continues to push the camera deeper into the carpeting. They see something on the monitor.) Sara: What's that say? Pull it up. (They see what appears to be the paper wrapping of a stack of bills.) Greg: Ten grand brick. Benjamin bit the bullet. Sara: "In God we trust." If she has a vault, why is she keeping cash under the floor? Greg: No more room under the mattress? (Cut to: One floor below, Sara is standing on a ladder and looking at the light fixtures in the ceiling.) (Greg hands her a flashlight.) Greg: Easy access in case you need to rewire. (She reaches up into the hole in the ceiling and takes out several stacks of bills.) Sara: Or steal a million. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB - NIGHT] (Nick is looking at the monitor when Warrick walks in.) Warrick: Hey. Nick: Hey. Warrick: Mandy got an AFIS hit off the vic. His AKA is Tim Duke, but his real name is Vincent Pullone, a one-time golden gloves wannabe. Nick: That would explain the prior injuries. Warrick: Yeah, well, so does his rap sheet. The guy was busy: Multiple assaults, theft ... is that the surveillance footage? Nick: Yeah. I've been through the footage throughout the entire day. I've got party, staffers going in and out the back door. But, get this - same time, different entrance. (Nick pulls up the footage. A car pulls up and Tim Duke exits the car.) Warrick: Well, that's our vic. Nick: Yeah, a couple minutes late. Now, here ... (He pulls up another section of the table.) Nick: ... around the time of the murder, same car ... pulls up ... waits. Warrick: Freeze that. Can you get a plate number? Nick: Yeah. (Nick zooms in on the license plate and brings it into focus. The NEVADA license plate is 295-OHU.) Warrick: Nice. Nick: Nevada 295, ocean, henry, union. Warrick: "Nanci... mc... ma..." Nick: McGinnigle ... McGonigle. Warrick: McGonigle? Nick: McGonigle. Warrick: I'll run it through Brass. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY] (Catherine and Hodges walk through the hallway.) Hodges: Handkerchief is linen. Edging appears to be hand-stitched. Pretty nice rag to be wiping a gun off with. Catherine: Oh, so it was positive for gun oil. Hodges: Yeah. And the diphenylamine test was also positive for oxidizers and partially burned gunpowder. Uh, negative for prints or DNA. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - DAY] (Grissom is in his office when Greg walks in.) Greg: So, Mandy wasn't able to lift any prints off of the cash we found. Grissom: Fingerprints are just oil, water and amino acids, Greg. They don't last forever. Greg: No kidding. You ever hear that expression "old money"? This stuff was ancient -- some of it's signed by Eisenhower's treasury secretary. Series dates all before 1965. Same with the grand we found on the vic. Grissom: "Ancient?" (Greg nods. Suddenly, there's a clattering somewhere nearby and off screen. Grissom looks up somewhat surprised as he pulls his glasses off.) Lois O'Neill: (o.s.) Set them down ... there. (Out in the hallway, Lois O'Neill arrives with four waiters in tow. Three of them carry a large platter of something to eat; the fourth carries a basket.) (Grissom steps out of his office. Greg is just behind him.) Grissom: Miss O'Neill! Nice to see you. What's all this? Lois O'Neill: An army travels on its stomach. I wanted you and your people to know how grateful I am for all you've done for me. Grissom: Well, thank you. But, uh, we can't accept anything that might influence the outcome of the case -- it's our policy. Lois O'Neill: Oh, come on. Cold cuts ... a little shrimp salad ... Greg: (wow) Shrimp salad ... (Lois smiles and clicks her tongue at Greg.) Grissom: I know what we can do. Have your boys take it down the street to the St. Vincent homeless shelter. They need it more than we do. Lois O'Neill: Well ... (She huffs with disappointment. Grissom nods. Lois waves her hands and the waiters take the platters and basket away.) (She glances down and notices Greg holding her book.) Lois O'Neill: Having fun with my book, Greg? (Greg grins.) Greg: Oh, yeah. That beach party ... hoo-hoo-hoo. Marilyn Monroe and the president ... Swing-a-ding-ding. (Lois gushes happily.) (Grissom glances at Greg and Greg's smile falls a couple of notches.) Grissom: By the way, Miss O'Neill, we made an interesting discovery under the floor of your bedroom. I was hoping you could tell us about it. Lois O'Neill: Under the floor ... ? You tell me. Greg: Approximately one million dollars in cash. (She laughs, surprised as she thinks about it.) Lois O'Neill: What do you know. Tony always said I'd be taken care of. Grissom: If you don't know anything about the money, maybe you know someone who does. Greg: Benny Dunbar, Jimmy the Crumb ... (Grissom's brow furrows a little.) Lois O'Neill: You'd have to ask Tony. Where is the money now? Grissom: It's in our evidence vault. Lois O'Neill: Oh. And, uh ... when will it be returned? Grissom: We have to finish our investigation first. Lois O'Neill: You do that. You know ... (sighs) The boys who want me dead have been doing this a lot longer than you have. I need you to catch up. Fast. Oh, and remember, when your tummy starts to rumble, I tried to help. (Lois smiles, turns and walks out the hallway. Her bodyguard follows close behind her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB - DAY] (Nick and Archie are reviewing the video. On the monitor, they watch as the waiter runs back to the car.) Nick: There. There, that piece of paper, zoom in on that. (The video stops. Archie zooms in on the piece of paper in the waiter's hand.) Archie Johnson: See if I can enhance that. Nick: What is that, a bar code? Archie Johnson: Looks like a PDF417 ... two-dimensional bar code. Nick: Can you decode it? Archie Johnson: Yeah. I think so. (He enhances the image and reads the barcode.) Archie Johnson: Okay, it's an airline boarding pass, last night: Vegas to Philadelphia, then on to Rome, and Sardinia. (Archie pulls up the computer information.) Archie Johnson: Two passengers: Nanci McGonigle and Vincent Pullone. Nick: Vincent Pullone was the vic's real name, and he arrived at the crime scene in Nanci McGonigle's car. Johnson: According to the airline global distribution system, she boarded the flight, he didn't. Nick: He was busy being dead. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (Sara and Sofia Curtis interview Eve Girard.) Sara: Your fingerprint was on the light fixture in the hallway. You knew about the money. Eve Girard: When the light fixture shorted out, Lois wanted it replaced right away. I did it myself, and I found the money. Sofia Curtis: How much did you take? Eve Girard: One bundle -- 10,000. I-I still have most of it. Sofia Curtis: Did you tell Miss O'Neill? Eve Girard: No. And that was wrong. But it was also wrong of her to hire me as a book editor and use me as a personal slave. Sara: How well did you know Vincent Pullone? Sofia Curtis: AKA "Tim Duke." (She sighs heavily.) Eve Girard: Not very well. Sara: But well enough to give him a thousand dollars? Eve Girard: We were dating. He needed the money. Sofia Curtis: If you were dating. Why was he planning to fly to Sardinia after the party with Nanci McGonigle? Eve Girard: He didn't mention her. Sofia Curtis: Someone in the house gave him the tickets. Eve Girard: Well, not me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (Robbins is getting a bullet out and drops it into the metal dish. The metal clanks. Grissom walks in.) Grissom: Sounds like the bullet to me. Robbins: Yeah. Deformed, medium caliber, consistent with a .38. Take a look at the heart. (Robbins shows Grissom the heart.) Robbins: Bullet passed into the base of the right ventricle, crossed the intraventricular septum and destroyed the av node. Grissom: Heart stopped on impact. Robbins: Right. Bullet then exited out the back of the left ventricle and entered the vertebral spine, transecting the spinal cord. (Quick CGI EFX: A gun is fired. The bullet travels through the air and hits the waiter in his chest.) Tim Duke: Oh! (The bullet continues in through the flesh and lodges in the heart. End of CGI EFX.) Grissom: Could the victim have crawled around after suffering that kind of damage? Robbins: Negative. He would have been paralyzed instantly. Grissom: Could the shot to the head have occurred first? Robbins: You are "O"-for-two. Check out the brain. (Robbins picks up the metal dish with the brain inside and hands it to Grissom. Grissom reaches in and picks up the brain. He slides his thumb along the slick surface, looking for something.) Grissom: There's no blood in the wound track. Robbins: Nope. Grissom: So his heart had already stopped pumping. Robbins: From the absence of blood, I'd say that this shot was at least ten minutes after the shot through the heart. Grissom: Lois O'Neill claims that she saw the victim crawling away after she heard the first shot. Robbins: Well, maybe Lois' memory is a little flawed. Grissom: Oh, no. She has a great memory. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) -- NIGHT] [INT. DOMENICI'S - NIGHT] (Brass and Grissom walk in through the entrance and are greeted by the maitre d'.) Maitre D': Welcome to Domenici's, gentlemen. Do you have a reservation? Brass: No, we're all set. (Brass and Grissom walk in and head over to Lois O'Neill and Bobby Jensen. They're talking and laughing. Lois turns and sees Brass and Grissom.) Lois O'Neill: The gang's all here! Brass: We need to ask you some questions. Lois O'Neill: Well, please, sit. I-I have no secrets from Bobby ... my guardian angel. Brass: Yeah, we've met. Isn't that right, Bob? Bobby Jensen: Uh, yeah, that's right. Lois O'Neill: Please, sit. How often do you get invited to the best table in town? (to Grissom) I know you must be hungry. (Grissom and Brass sit down.) Grissom: Miss O'Neill, we found some inconsistencies in your account of last night's events. Lois O'Neill: Wha ... ? Grissom: You said that you saw Tim Duke crawling away after you heard the first shot. (She stops and recalls.) Lois O'Neill: (sighs) Yes. (voice breaking) It was horrible. Grissom: According to our autopsy, the first shot paralyzed him. He would've been unable to move. (She stares at him.) Lois O'Neill: (stammering) Well ... it-it all happened in such a flash ... (Quick flashback to: [BEDROOM CLOSET - NIGHT] A gun fires. The waiter grunts and falls to the ground.) Voice: (o.s.) Hey! (Lois closes the vault door.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Lois looks at them and shakes her head.) Bobby Jensen: All right. She's the target. She told you all she knows. (Clearly upset, Lois chuckles wryly.) Lois O'Neill: This has been fun, but ... we have to go. Beauty sleep, you know. Speaking of which ... when is that ugly yellow tape coming off my bedroom door? Grissom: Just as soon as we finish our work, I promise. Lois O'Neill: Anymore questions ... just call. (She smiles at him and moves closer to him. Grissom backs away and lets Lois stand up. Brass also stands up to let Bobby Jensen get out of his seat.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- NIGHT] (Greg looks forlornly at his tuna sandwich takeout.) Greg: Tuna ... and the homeless are dining on shrimp salad. Lucky Clydes. (Greg takes a bite.) Sara: "Lucky Clydes?" Is that lingo from Lois' book? Warrick: She say anything in that book about all that dough we found under her floor? (Warrick takes a seat at the table.) Greg: Not exactly. But she does say back in '65, Vegas was getting a little bit too hot for Tony C, so he had to take a powder for a while. And dig this: while he was gone, the famous Pan Am heist was pulled off back east. Warrick: The famous Pan Am heist? Greg: (nods) And, compadre, in the next chapter, Tony builds Lois the house. Connect the dots, buddy boy. (Sara chuckles.) Warrick: All right, this is what we got so far: we got a loser boxer, who's a crack head, probably selling drugs -- and someone buys him two tickets to Sardinia. Why? Sara: Maybe somebody wanted Lois dead, knew that Tim had access and that he needed the money for a drug habit? Warrick: Are you saying that he was a hit man and not an innocent bystander? Sara: Well, it would make Lois' story correct - that she really was the target. Warrick: Yeah, but who killed him? And why? Greg: Consider this nutty notion: Tony's not worm food, he's around; he finds out that Lois went canary and wrote the book, so he hires some protection, someone who'd be at the party. Sara: Whether Tim Duke was a hit man or not, he could have been the target all along. Warrick: Yeah, yeah. Then you go whack him when he's working around every VIP in town. Sure. Sara: Sure. Especially if Lois was an accomplice. Or, dare I say, the killer. Greg: Well, I don't see homicide anywhere on her schedule. (Sara laughs.) Greg: Wait a sec ... that's Lois' dinner outfit, and that's the dress she was wearing when we opened up the vault. Sara: Let's test them both for blood and GSR. (Greg nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - BEDROOM CLOSET -- NIGHT] (Sara is looking up the dress in the computer catalog.) Sara: Looking under "formal" ... (The dress picture and ID scroll onto the screen: BIN #161 Gown: 75% Tracitate 25% Polyester Lining: 100% Polyester F# 4333_LP Color Type ) Sara: Dress number 161. (Catherine starts looking for the dress in the closet. She's more than impressed by the clothes.) Catherine: 130, 131, 132 ... got to admit, this is some kind of closet. (Sara smiles at Catherine's obvious pleasure. She continues to look for the dress.) Catherine: Oh, let's see. It's 1-60 ... 1 ... (Catherine finds the hanger.) Catherine: Oh. 161 -- hanger's empty. Sara: She got rid of the clothes? Catherine: It's possible she sent them to the cleaners to get rid of blood and GSR. We can get a warrant. Sara: Well ... she wouldn't have sent her jewelry to the cleaners. (Sara goes back to the computer catalog, finds the ring and clicks on it. The image and information appears on the monitor: JEWELRY CANARY DIAMOND DRAWER #19 Rec# 4782 Color Type: ) Sara: Got it. Drawer 19. [SCENE_BREAK] (The jewelry drawer opens.) Catherine: Oh. How apropos that she's named names. (Catherine picks up the ring.) Catherine: A canary diamond. Sara: Want to bet the birdie sings in the key of GSR? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB -- NIGHT] (Hodges takes a sample from all over the ring. He puts the sample into the machine and closes it.) (He types on the keyboard and presses enter.) (The machine makes the calculations and he sees the following results: 27.2% Antimony 23.8% Barium 31.0% Lead ) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CATHERINE'S OFFICE -- NIGHT] (Catherine enters her office and finds her mom, Lily Flynn, inside lying on the couch.) Catherine: Mom? What are you doing? Where's Lindsey? Lily Flynn: She's on a sleep-over. (She sits up.) So kill me. And I had dinner at Drai's with the girls. Filet to die for. (She picks up the doggie bag and offers it to Catherine.) Catherine: Drai's ... The girls like to spend. (Catherine takes the bag and Lily sneezes.) Lily Flynn: Red wine always makes me two of the seven dwarfs: Sleepy and Sneezy. (She sniffs, opens her bag and pulls out a handkerchief.) Catherine: Where did you get that hanky? Lily Flynn: A friend. Catherine: A friend who was at Lois' party? Lily Flynn: (sighs) Now don't get mad, Catherine. Catherine: You can't be seeing Sam? Lily Flynn: And why not? Catherine: Oh, for one thing, he's a player. Lily Flynn: I don't expect monogamy from him. Catherine: (groans) Oh. I can't believe this. Lily Flynn: And I am not promising that he'll get it from me, either. (Catherine turns around and gets an envelope from behind her desk.) What are you doing? (She holds the envelope open.) Catherine: Put it in the envelope. Lily Flynn: Why?! (Lily puts the handkerchief in the envelope.) Catherine: Because we haven't cleared Sam as a suspect. Lily Flynn: He can't be! He has been so wonderful to me these past few weeks. Catherine: Oh, this has been going on for weeks, huh? (Catherine sits down.) Lily Flynn: We have a history together, Catherine. We were young together. Some day, maybe you'll understand. (Catherine looks at her mother.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] (A police siren blares.) [EXT. STREET - NIGHT] (Catherine walks up to the limo they've just pulled over. A couple of officers step out onto the sidewalk. Catherine opens the back limo door and gets inside.) (She closes the door behind her.) [INT. LIMO (PARKED) - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Catherine settles in the seat across from Sam Braun.) Sam Braun: You want to see me, Muggs, all you need is a phone. Catherine: You lied about being in Lois O'Neill's bedroom. Sam Braun: I was in that bedroom once. In 1967. As a gentleman, I would prefer not going into details. Catherine: Your handkerchief puts you there when the waiter was shot. (Sam pulls out a handkerchief from his jacket pocket.) Sam Braun: One of these? Lois and I were going over old times. She got a little weepy. What she did with it after that, I don't know. My housekeeper made me a dozen for Christmas. I've only got half left. Catherine: So quit giving them away. (Sam chuckles.) Sam Braun: Oh ... you're mothering me. Catherine: You know, Sam, this is the second time that I thought that you might be a killer. Sam Braun: Come on, you know better. Catherine: The thing is, I don't. It never occurred to me for a minute that this is something that you wouldn't have done. And that wouldn't bother me, except you're dating my mother. Sam Braun: Look, I'm being good to Lil this time around. Give us a chance. Give me a chance. You'll see. Catherine: Making up for stabbing one girl by being kind to another. Hmm. [Note: Reference to episode CSI-3X23: Inside the Box] Sam Braun: If you weren't my daughter ... Catherine: What? What would you do, Sam? (Catherine gets up and leaves the limo. She closes the door behind her.) (Camera lingers on Sam.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB -- NIGHT] (Hodges uncaps a black indelible marker and tries to cover the gray hair on his left side. He's using a glass cover as a reflective surface.) (Grissom and Sara walk in. They stop and watch Hodges.) Grissom: Vanity, thy name is Hodges. (Startled, Hodges quickly caps the pen.) Hodges: This isn't what it looks like. I actually like my gray hair. The few that I have. Sara: (smiling) Hodges, don't you know that gray hair can be very attractive? (Grissom perks up and glances sideways at Sara. Hodges turns and smiles at Sara.) Sara: The ring? (Dazed by Sara's smile, Hodges nods automatically.) Hodges: The ring? (He shakes himself out of it and turns to get the results as he reports.) The ring. The ring was positive for GSR. (Hodges hands the results to Grissom to look at. Sara reads it over his shoulder.) Sara: That means Lois could be the shooter. (Quick flashback to: Lois fires the gun.) (Extreme close-up of: [THE RING] Black residue falls on the ring.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: I guess we'll have to bring her in. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - FRONT -- DAY] (Brass and Grissom arrive at the front. Brass sees the crime scene tape is gone.) Brass: One of your guys take the crime scene tape down? Grissom: Sara and Catherine cleared the scene about two hours ago. (They enter the house.) [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - FOYER - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Brass, Grissom and an officer walk through the foyer.) Brass: (loudly) Miss O'Neill, Las Vegas Police. (There's no answer.) (Brass and Grissom continue into the foyer.) Brass: Miss O'Neill? (At the base of the stairs, they hear music coming from upstairs. Grissom and Brass head upstairs.) [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - BEDROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Brass pushes the bedroom doors open. He and Grissom walk inside. They approach the bed. Lois O'Neill is on the bed, dead.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. O'NEILL RESIDENCE - BEDROOM - DAY] (Robbins snaps a photo of Lois. Greg stands nearby, putting something into a plastic bad.) Greg: Wow, it's the end of an era. Robbins: From the containment of the blood, it appears she was shot while lying down. Greg: Asleep ... or surprised by someone she trusted? Grissom: Nick just found out that Tim Duke's airline tickets were purchased by a credit card under the name of Double-X Associates. Greg: That's Lois O'Neill's company. Grissom: How do you know that? Robbins: She was the double-kiss girl. Greg: Yeah, you can't say her name without kissing twice. Lois O'Neill -- Kiss-Kiss. XX. Grissom: Huh. Well, Nick also found out that the only two names authorized to sign on that card were Lois O'Neill and Eve Girard. (Grissom pauses.) Grissom: She looks perfect, doesn't she? Robbins: Except for these smudges on her eyelids. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Grissom dusts Lois O'Neill's eyelids for prints. He adds powder, turns the light on, then adjusts the camera.) (He snaps a photo of the print on her eyelid.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- EVENING] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - NIGHT] (Greg bursts into the office. He kneels down and looks at Grissom between shelve levels. Grissom looks up from the report he's reading.) Greg: Grissom, you know I was looking into that Pan Am heist in '65? Grissom: On your own time, I hope. Greg: It's related to our case. I just got off the phone with the FBI Lab at Quantico. Bobby Dawson sent them ballistics on the gun we found on Tim Duke. Grissom: And? Greg: It's a match to the gun that was used to kill a guard in the Pan Am heist. So I sent them serials on the cash we found. Grissom: Also a match to the Pan Am heist? Greg: Right-o, Daddy-O. Grissom: Congratulations, Greg. (Greg nods. Grissom turns and heads back to his desk to sit down. Greg walks over to his desk.) Grissom: This is Doc Robbins' preliminary autopsy report on Lois O'Neill. When he opened her up, he found that her body was riddled with advanced tumors. Greg: Wow. (Greg sits down.) Greg: She knew she was going to die. That's why she wrote the book, 'cause she knew that if she was gone, there'd be nobody left to tell the true story. Grissom: You read it. Do you think that's how she wanted to go out? Greg: No. But, uh ... looking beautiful -- yeah. In all the papers -- yeah. Murdered ... only if she was the one who called the shots. Grissom: (agrees) Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (Bobby Jensen chuckles.) Bobby Jensen: Oh, we had some good times. Grissom: You knew she had cancer? Bobby Jensen: No, she had guts. She staged her exit like a pro. The book, the party ... she only made one mistake -- she hired an amateur. Brass: Tim Duke? Also known as Vincent Pullone? Bobby Jensen: A wimp and a thief. Lois would give you all the cookies you wanted, but you stuck your hand in the cookie jar ... she'd chop it off. (Quick flashback to: [BEDROOM CLOSET] Lois talks with Tim Duke.) Lois O'Neill: Try to relax, honey. This'll be easy. I'll be on the bed, one shot. Don't be sloppy. (She opens the vault and goes inside.) (Tim turns around, opens the nearest drawer and starts pocketing the jewelry inside. Lois returns with the gun and finds him stuffing his pocket with her jewelry.) Lois O'Neill: What the hell? Tim Duke: What do you care? You're going to be dead anyway. Lois O'Neill: Nobody steals from me. (She cocks the gun and fires.) (Tim Duke falls to the ground instantly. Lois turns around and fires two shots at the vault door.) (She wipes the gun.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: Why'd she ask Duke, not you? Bobby Jensen: She didn't want to involve an old friend. Grissom: Until yesterday. Brass: Yesterday afternoon, Lois O'Neill wired $250,000 to your sister in Sarasota. Now you were Tony C's driver. The only one he trusted to bodyguard Miss O'Neill. You took care of her right until the end. Bobby Jensen: Well, who else do I have to take care of? Brass: My guess is she wired you the money, but being a friend you refused. So she sent it to your sister instead. (He wipes his mouth and chuckles softly.) Bobby Jensen: She sent it to my sister. You know, you've got a choice between checking out all shriveled up, in a hospital, or at home, looking like a million bucks. Any guy who'd do that for a good friend, he's okay by me. (Quick flashback to: [BEDROOM] Lois is on the bed.) Lois O'Neill: If you see Tony, tell him I love him. (He cocks the gun.) Bobby Jensen: Doll ... you're going to see him before I do. (She looks at him and kisses the air twice.) (He fires.) FLASH TO WHITE: (Lois' hand gently falls to the bed as Bobby Jensen watches. He closes his eyes and tosses the gun on the bed.) (He uses his thumbs, closes her eyes and cradles her face in his hands.) CUT TO: END OF FLASHBACK. [INT CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - NIGHT] (Robbins is at his desk. He slips a photo of Lois O'Neill in a sheet protector in a binder.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT] (Sam and Lily are at dinner. He reaches over and wipes the corner of her mouth with a napkin. She smiles back at him.) (Sam turns around and sees Catherine walking toward them. He stands up and pulls a chair for her. She sits down and joins them.) (Sam raises his hand and motions for a waiter to pour her a drink.) (Catherine looks at Lily, then at Sam.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM - NIGHT] (Greg opens his locker and takes his hat out. He puts it on his head, closes his locker and heads out.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - NIGHT] (Grissom picks up Greg's book from his desk. He opens it and looks at the inscription inside.) TO GREG THE BEST IS YET TO COME! LOIS O'NEILL XX [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] VARIOUS B/W FOOTAGE OF OLD LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS BLUR OUT	Plan: A: The CSIs; Q: Who questions the city's crème de la la at a party? A: a young man; Q: Who was killed at a party? A: Catherine's father; Q: Who is Sam Braun? A: a suspect; Q: What is Sam Braun's role in the investigation? A: personal conflict; Q: What grows between Catherine and Sam Braun? Summary: The CSIs question the city's crème de la crème at a party to discover who killed a young man. As Catherine's father Sam Braun is once again a suspect, personal conflict grows between the two.
MEREDITH: At any moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don't have control over most of them. When we get a chill, goosebumps. When we get excited, adrenaline. The body naturally follows it's impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. (Shot of Izzie in the kitchen, surrounded by dozens of muffins.) IZZIE: That's enough muffins. We don't need all these. No more muffins. (Yet she goes to make another batch.) MEREDITH: Of course, sometimes we have impulses we'd rather not control. (Christina walks into Burke's room and begins stripping off her scrubs, climbing atop his bed in nothing but her red lingerie.) BURKE: what are you doing? CHRISTINA: Just because you cant touch, doesn't mean you can't enjoy. MEREDITH: That we later wish we had. (Burke's parents walk into his room.) BURKE: Mama... Daddy. CHRISTINA: Oh...what... MRS. BURKE: Preston? CHRISTINA: Mama and Daddy!? MRS. BURKE: Is this a new service the hospital is providing? (Christina scrambles to clothe herself.) CHRISTINA: I told you to guard the door. NURSE: I had a code blue. CHRISTINA: I had parents walk in. NURSE: We saved the guy's life. CHRISTINA: Whatever, I want my 20 bucks back. NURSE: Sorry. It bought everyone coffee to celebrate saving the guy's life. CHRISTINA: I want my 20 bucks back! MEREDITH: You know it's not Tyler's fault you're a dirty, dirty stripper. CHRISTINA: You heard. MEREDITH: Everyone heard. Stripper CHRISTINA: Oh you're one to talk. Sleeping with two men. MEREDITH: Wrong. I'm not sleeping with either one of them. Not until I pick one. If I haven't made a decision by the end of the day, I'm flipping a coin. A girl can only hold out for so long. CHRISTINA: Oh and somehow I'm the dirty stripper. BAILEY: You two have time to round or are you too busy getting naked on hospital property? CHRISTINA: I wasn't... I wasn't naked! [SCENE_BREAK] CHIEF: You have coffee stain on your shirt. ADDISON: You have a bed on your couch CHIEF: Hope you're not hoping to see patients in your sweat suit. ADDISON: Actually I need the day off. CHIEF: A day off...for what? ADDISON: For drinking. I am feeling the need to do some drinking. Actually, I'm feeling the need to do some crying, but my tear ducts seem to be too proud, so I'm going to do some drinking instead. CHIEF: What no laboring moms today? ADDISON: No, because I think God knows I need to do some drinking today. CHIEF: You want to talk about it Addie, or you just want to be glib a little bit longer? ADDISON: Why are you living in your office? CHIEF: Marriage... is hard. ADDISON: Well thank goodness, mine seems to be just about over. [SCENE_BREAK] (A 30-something woman sits on her bed, eating a giant cake as the interns make rounds.) BAILEY: Ms. Seabury what... what are... no I'm sorry, you cannot be eating. CHIEF: What is all this? MS. SEABURY: This is chocolate raspberry soufflé cake and it's the best thing I've ever tasted in my life. Except for maybe the banana cream torte there, it's pretty stunning really. Bakeries deliver, did you know that? Please grab a fork. CHIEF: Ms. Seabury, you're scheduled for surgery this afternoon. MS. SEABURY: We push the surgery a little? Tomorrow maybe? Oh my God, you've got to taste this! BAILEY: Ma'am, you have an aggressive form of lung cancer. The sooner we get you into surgery, the better your chances of surviving. So I've heard. It's all very aggressive. I mean, it's very... (Ms. Seabury erupts in giggles.) MS. SEABURY: I have never smoked a cigarette in my life. I've never smoked pot. I've never drank. Before today, I hadn't had a desert in 10 years. I am the picture of health. And now...i have lung cancer. Come on it's absurd right? (still giggling) Oh...I'm sorry. I think I'm on a sugar high. (The doctors take the conversation outside.) CHIEF: O'Malley reschedule her surgery for tomorrow. And get her a psych consult. And no more food deliveries. GEORGE: Yes sir. MEREDITH (to George): Okay...(she nods her head toward Bailey) GEORGE: So...um Dr. Bailey? BAILEY: Surgeons don't say "Um" Dr. O'Malley. You want to be a surgeon, learn to speak like one. ALEX: Look he wants you to talk to the chief about Izzie... GEORGE: She just baking...a lot of baking, and it seems a waste for all her talent and medical skills to go into muffins. We just thought you might be willing to help... BAILEY: Stop...talking. GEORGE: Yes ma'am. (They follow her to the next room where Derek meets them.) DEREK: Well, good morning. Benjamin, Ruth. RUTH: Good Morning Dr. Shepherd DEREK: Morning. BENJAMIN: It doesn't feel like a very good morning to me I have to have brain surgery today. (We see Derek dreamily gazing at Meredith, and she smiles back.) BENJAMIN: Pretty scary. Plus my sister's nervous, and when she gets nervous she sweats, and the windows in here don't open so it's pretty rank. RUTH: Benjamin. BENJAMIN: Was I rude Ruthie? RUTH: Let's let the doctors talk. CHRISTINA: Benjamin O'Leary, 32. In for the removal of a brain tumor that's pushing on his fronal temporal lobe. Clearly it's effecting his impulse control. BEN: It makes me sad everything I think, which apparently is annoying. This doctor looks annoyed anyway. Although it's hard to tell, cause she always has kind of a pinched uptight look on her face. Am I annoying you? CHRISTINA: It's fine. RUTH: You can't say it's fine. He doesn't perceive sarcasm or irony. If he's annoying you, you have to tell him. BEN: Maybe I'm not annoying her, Ruthie. CHRISTINA: No you are BAILEY: Dr. Yang.. CHRISTINA: Well, he asked. DEREK: Ok, Dr. Yang, pinched and annoyed though she may be is going to be prepping you for surgery today. Do you have any questions for me? BEN: Is that blonde your girlfriend? Cause the way you keep looking at her, you might as well mount her right here and now. RUTH: Benjamin. BEN: I'm sorry, was that rude? BAILEY: I'm proud of you all. You make me proud. You reflect on me well. Grey, if you think you can keep you clothes on long enough to follow up the labs, I'd appreciate it. Karev, cover in the pit. ALEX: The pit? Wait, I'm off Gynie squad? BAILEY: Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd is out sick today You can cover the pit where you can... you can tell me who's damn panties are on the bulletin board? (Everyone giggles, and the entire floor turns to listen to what's going on.) CHRISTINA: Are those yours? BAILEY: This is a hospital, people. Serious work happens here. We save lives here. Oh is something funny? Whose are these? MEREDITH: This is bad. This isn't good. CHRISTINA: Well you'd better claim them. She thinks they're mine! Claim them! MEREDITH: No. BAILEY: Yeah, I know it's one of you. It's always one of mine. Always. So, tell me. Which one of you left your damn drawers on my surgical floor? CALLIE: Oh no, did I leave my underwear lying around again? I'm so sorry Bailey. It's my bad. (And with that. Callie removes the underwear, and trots off.) [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: O'Malley, Yang, prep your patients. Karev, pit, Grey, charts. All four of you, do not make me regret setting you loose in this hospital. O'Malley, what I mean by that? GEORGE: You mean to check with you before we cut any wires or steal any hearts. BAILEY: Are you trying to be clever? GEORGE: No ma'am. BAILEY: Better not be. GEORGE: Holy crap. CHRISTINA: The Nazi is definitely back. ALEX: Better than ever. CHRISTINA: Oh, Mrs Burke...Hi I'm Christina. I may have said that earlier.. but... MRS. BURKE: Did I hear you refer to Miranada Bailey as a Nazi? CHRISTINA: No. Well... I mean yes, but... MRS. BURKE: You do understand that the Nazi's were responsible for the worst genocide in the history of man. And a racist genocide at that. I would think that as a woman of color and a doctor, no less, that you would think twice about using that word as a punch line. CHRISTINA: I will think about that in the future Mrs. Burke. DEREK: Mrs. Burke? Preston's mother? MRS. BURKE: Yes, and you are? DEREK: I'm Dr. Shepherd, the surgeon who operated on your son. MRS. BURKE: Thank you, brilliant surgeon. And a handsome man too. Your mother must be very proud. Do you mind, Dr. Shepherd, if I borrow your young intern for a cup of coffee? I'll bring her right back. DEREK: No problem. Dr. Grey can cover for Christina. MEREDITH: I'm sorry? CHRISTINA: Dr. Grey is very busy. She has charts to do for Bailey. Bailey is on the warpath. Oh, not a German warpath. It's a hospital warpath. DEREK: I'll take care of Bailey. Enjoy your coffee date, ladies. It was nice meeting you. MRS. BAILEY: Thank you. CHRISTINA: I'll um... I just have this one quick... I'll meet you in the cafeteria in a couple of minutes, is that alright? MRS. BURKE: Yes, I look forward to it. DEREK: Well this is a change. From the elevator. A little more public, I like it. MEREDITH: You're married... You're married, and you said things to me. DEREK: Yes, I said things to you. MEREDITH: Normally, I would like the things you said to me. Normally I would even think the bulletin board thing was funny. DEREK: What bulletin board thing? MEREDITH: But you're married. Which makes none of this normal. It makes me a home wrecker. And I hate that I'm a home wrecker.. DEREK: I'm not going to pressure you, take all the time you need. But just so you have all the information...my home was wracked long before you came into the picture. And I am just now done trying to rebuild it. MEREDITH: Done? DEREK: I'm done. Whatever you decide, I'm ending it with Addison. Today MEREDITH: You have said this before. DEREK: I know, but this time I mean it. And I'm going to come clean, just as soon as I see her. (He's inching closer and closer to her face, about to kiss her.) MEREDITH: You are? DEREK: I am. (Callie walks is just before their lips touch. Derek flees. Callie hands Meredith her underwear.) CALLIE: You guys should think about getting a hotel room or something. [SCENE_BREAK] (Christina walks into Burke's room, Mr. Burke is sitting in a nearby chair, reading something.) CHRISTINA: Oh... um. Your mother wants to have coffee with me. BURKE: And? CHRISTINA: She thinks I'm a racist. Oh, and a stripper. She thinks I'm a racist stripper. Oh, come on, what's funny? This is not funny. BURKE: Well it is kind of funny. She's just my mama, Christina. CHRISTINA: You're mama? BURKE: You'll love her when you get to know her. Everybody loves my mama. CHRISTINA: You... will save me from this. You will save me from this or... you will save me from this. DEREK: Hey, you haven't heard from Addison have you? CHIEF: Actually she needed the day off. Something about finding another woman's panties in the pocket of your tux. DEREK: That's not how I wanted her to find out. CHIEF: You don't leave another woman's panties in your tux unless you want her to find them. I know a thing or two about affairs. I even know a thing about affairs with women named Grey. DEREK: It's not an affair. I was going to tell her...Addison...i was going to tell her today. I was going to end it. CHIEF: Give her some space. DEREK: No, I gotta talk to her today. If something's over, it's just got to be over. Meredith, she's...she's not an affair. [SCENE_BREAK] BEN: Ow! Ruthie I don't think I want this surgery. RUTH: You have to have this surgery Ben. BEN: Right. You're very pretty. But you look kind of tired, and I think maybe you should change your hair conditioner. RUTH: That was rude Benjamin. BEN: It is? MEREDITH: No, actually, it's true, and it's refreshing. BEN: Do you have sx with that brain surgeon? RUTH: Benjamin... MEREDITH: It's okay. Nope. I haven't. Not today anyway. BEN: I would. He's hot...and arrogant, in a ways that's still sexy. I would totally have sx with him if I could. Looks like you could. So what's the hold up? [SCENE_BREAK] (George walks up to Callie, and looks over her shoulder at a chart.) CALLIE: Are you trying to seduce me? GEORGE: I was just wondering... I have a lot of work to do, but I was just wondering about the panties, that are yours, and how they ended up on the bulletin board. Black lacy panties on the board. CALLIE: You are trying to seduce me. GEORGE: No... no I'm not. I'm just wondering how...panties I haven't seen before...and I've seen your panties a lot of days in a row now... I'm just wondering how black panties that apparently belong to you and I've never seen end up on the bulletin board. CALLIE: Wow...you are jealous. GEORGE: No...no no no. CALLIE: Yeah... GEORGE: I'm not... (Mrs. Seabury goes flying by in her self-propelled wheelchair, screaming.) GEORGE: Is that my patient? Mrs. Seabury? (He goes to chase after her.) MEREDITH: I'll tell him. CALLIE: What? MEREDITH: I'll tell him the truth...about the panties. CALLIE: Don't you dare. He is jealous. [SCENE_BREAK] ALEX: So, you and O'Malley, huh? How'd that happen? CALLIE: I don't know. You're a surgeon, how'd that happen? BAILEY: Karev, she's a resident, she outranks you. You don't get to ask personal questions. CALLIE: It's fine Dr. Bailey. BAILEY: He's my resident, I say it's not fine. is that clear? ALEX: No. BAILEY: What's not clear? ALEX: What's not clear to me is why you won't talk to Izzie. That's what's not clear. BAILEY: Really, you want to push me on this? Today? Today you want to push me? (They meet an incoming ambulance outside.) BAILEY: What have we got Jill? Jill: Marley Hernandez, 14. Was street lugeing when he lost control and hit a car. Witnesses say he was catapulted at least 20 feet into the air. Landed on a pile of tree trimmings. Broken pelvis is apparent, as are I would guess some pretty massive internal injuries. BAILEY: You would guess? (The paramedics wheel out a young man who has a tree sticking all the way through the left side of his body.) [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: Alright Marley, you're at the hospital. We're going to take care of you now. MARLEY: Hospital? What's the matter with me? MR. MARLEY: You're an idiot that's what's the matter. MARLEY: Dad? BAILEY: Please back away, sir. MR. MARLEY: Your friends are idiots and you don't use the sense God gave you. That's what's the matter with you! NURSE: You're blocking our path, please! (Alex then shoves Marley's dad to the side, forcing him to slam into the outside wall of the hospital.) ALEX: Are you okay? MR. MARLEY: You son of a bitch. Where's my son? BAILEY: We took him in there. ALEX: He was blocking the paramedics! BAILEY: No, he is terrified. His child is a tree! Alex, listen to me. You will not get physical with another human being on my watch ever again. You will not question my authority. And you will not defend your little girlfriend for killing a man. Are we clear? ALEX: She's not my girlfriend. [SCENE_BREAK] MRS. BURKE: As you know I'm sure, he graduated first in his class from Tulane. CHRISTINA: I... I did know that. Actually, I graduated first in my class at Stanford. MRS. BURKE: Ah. So you are planning to pursue a less time consuming specialty? Obstetrics perhaps? Or family medicine? CHRISTINA: Oh, I'm in the surgical program. MRS. BURKE: But after you're married? CHRISTINA: Married? I'm sorry... married? MRS. BURKE: Come, Christina. You must have considered the possibility. You're no spring chicken. I don't know a young woman who wouldn't want to marry my Preston, given half the chance. He's brilliant, he's handsome. He's the best thing I've done in my life. He's the most important thing in the world to me. CHRISTINA: Oh...okay. Oh Burke, Burke! Preston... Preston Burke is here. BURKE: What a surprise. My two favorite ladies in the same place. MRS. BURKE: Preston, what on earth are you doing out of bed? BURKE: Oh... well I... I wanted to... get some... stretch my legs mama. MRS. BURKE: But you're not supposed to stretch your legs. You're supposed to be resting. BURKE: Right. But I wanted to have some... some air. Some stretching, some air... and some coffee. Anybody want any coffee? CHRISTINA: We Already have coffee. Please have a seat. BURKE: Right. Just a second... coffee. MRS. BURKE: You did this. CHRISTINA: What? MRS. BURKE: Christina, listen to me. It's not that I don't like you. I think that you're a very smart, very attractive young woman. But you're selfish. CHRISTINA: I beg your pardon? MRS. BURKE: Oh, you pulled him out of his sick bed because you were uncomfortable. That's selfish. You're selfish, and my son is giving. And the combination...well...it's not going to last. Not much longer. BURKE: Hey heyyy, hi. Alright. I brought you a scone mama. [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: His kidney's gone. No way to save it. CHIEF: Just focus on keeping the renal artery under control BAILEY: I have another bleeder. CHIEF: Ok pace yourself everybody. We have a long way to go. We have enough blood standing by? ALEX: Yes sir. GEORGE: (from the gallery) Is that a tree? CHRISTINA: His mother rivals his mother. And that is saying something. GEORGE: They're operating around it? CHRISTINA: Both dark and evil. You're blocking my view George MEREDITH: I miss dirty stripper Christina. She was fun. A lot less angry. CHRISTINA: Next time I see her, if she even looks at me sideways, I'm telling her what I think. She wants to call me racist? GEORGE: What? CHRISTINA: I'll call her sexist. Change my career after I'm married? What is this, 1953? She comes at me, I'm going there. MEREDITH: I think you should. I think we all should just go there. You know, tell the truth. Spit it out. Go with your gut. Follow your instincts. CHRISTINA: I miss philandering whore Meredith. She was trashy and much less ldyllic. GEORGE: Do women have two sets of panties? You know, ones they wear for different occasions? MEREDITH: I made a choice. I'm picking Derek. Finn is great. But Derek...is Derek. And I'm following my gut. CHRISTINA: Whatever. I want my patient back. You know, the one you stole after mama cornered me? MEREDITH: That's okay. It's my day to check on Izzie anyway. [SCENE_BREAK] GEORGE: You paged me? NURSE: Your patient was caught shoplifting chocolate from the hospital gift shop. GEORGE: What? MRS SEABURY: I've never done that before, it was exhilarating. NURSE: And now she's planning to leave. GEORGE: You can't...she can't leave. You're sick. You should be sleeping. Resting. MRS SEABURY: Preparing for death? GEORGE: Preparing for surgery there's a difference. MRS SEABURY: Maybe. Maybe not. That's what they mean when they give you a 60% chance of survival. It means 4 out of 10 people die whether they have the surgery or not. I have lived my entire life, pent-up, repressed. Stifling every impulse, following every rule. And now I'm done. And you know what, you should be too. We should all be done. GEORGE: So you're leaving? MRS SEABURY: I'm claiming my life doctor. I cant do that from a hospital bed. GEORGE: And you know you'll die. MRS SEABURY: Maybe. But at least when I do, I'll know that I have lived. Mmmmm. Oh God, this is good. [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: Izzie? (The entire kitchen is covered in muffins. The doorbell rings before Meredith can locate Izzie) MEREDITH: Finn. FINN: Hi. What are you doing home? I thought you were working. MEREDITH: I am. I was. I still am. I just came home to check on Izzie. FINN: So did I. Brought her lunch. MEREDITH: You brought Izzie lunch? FINN: When my wife died, there really wasn't anything anyone could say. But the bringing of food helped. It was the only thing that helped. MEREDITH: You brought Izzie food? FINN: Yeah. MEREDITH: Even though you didn't think I was here. FINN: Is that okay? MEREDITH: Yeah... it's amazing actually. You're amazing. Sweet and thoughtful. And sensitive. FINN: Meredith, I don't want to pressure you. You have a decision to make. I want you to take all the time that you need. But I do want to make one thing clear. MEREDITH: What's that? FINN: I'm not al that sensitive. At which point he kisses her. FINN: So... MEREDITH: So... FINN: Have a nice day at work. [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: Mr. Hernandez? MR. HERNANDEZ: How... how is he? Is he okay? I mean you've been operating for hours. BAILEY: There is extensive damage. We've had to remove one of his kidnneys and a portion of his bowels. MR. HERNANDEZ: But the tree's out. I mean you got it out and he's okay? BAILEY: Okay, Mr. Hernandez the branch is actually still there. We're operating around it which is a part of what's taking up so much time. MR. HERNANDEZ: His mother's not here yet. Do you think he'll be okay by the time she gets here? BAILEY: I'm sorry, I do have to get back in there. I just came to give you an update. MR. HERNANDEZ: That he's still alive. BAILEY: Yes, that he's still alive. MR. HERNANDEZ: Okay JOE: Izzie. How you doing sweetie? IZZIE: I brought you some muffins. JOE: Okay. IZZIE: I made a lot. I was running out of room and I thought maybe you would like some. I'm a good baker. JOE: Yeah absolutely. Thank you. ADDISON: Dr Stephens. IZZIE: Please don't call me Dr. ADDISON: Okay...please don't call me Mrs. Shepherd. HA. That's funny. IZZIE: She's drunk. JOE: This is true ADDISON: So did you know about the slutty s*x your slutty friend had with my super slutty husband? IZZIE: You should have a muffin. They're really good...and they'll help you. ADDISON: I may be beyond help. IZZIE: Yeah. Me too. Don't let her drive Joe. ADDISON (taking a bite out of a muffin): Mmm. Good. [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: She's still here (referring to Mrs. Burke who is still at Burke's bedside) CHRISTINA: She never leaves. She never even pees. I'm not entirely sure she's human. MEREDITH: Finn brought Izzie lunch. CHRISTINA: Oh you went to see Izzie? MEREDITH: Yeah, she wasn't home. But I'm taking that as a good thing cause at least the baking has stopped. But my point is, Finn brought Izzie lunch. He's that guy...the guy who brings your roommate lunch when she's sad. CHRISTINA: So you didn't end it? MEREDITH: He's the guy who brings your roommate lunch when she's sad. So I'm going to end it with Derek. CHRISTINA: Whatever. You know, I'm not selfish. I'm by his side. I..i took off all my clothes this morning. That's not selfish. And I'm going in for surgery. Selfish people don't save lives. MEREDITH: George... GEORGE (looking through the glass at a nurse who giggles): What? MEREDITH: You're flirting with that nurse. GEORGE: I'm young. I'm healthy. I got a life to live. MEREDITH: Is this about the panties? Are you still jealous? GEORGE: I'm not jealous. I'm just living my life. [SCENE_BREAK] BEN: Do you have a boyfriend? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you have a boyfriend? RUTH: He's going to keep asking 'til you answer. CHRISTINA: Yes. I have a boyfriend. Can you look here? BEN: If I had a boyfriend, I would definitely not be as angry as you. Why are you so angry? Is it because you're frigid? Or he's frigid? Or.. CHRISTINA: Nobody's frigid. His mother called me selfish. BEN: Are you selfish? Cause you do seem kind of self-obsessed to me. RUTH: Ben. CHRISTINA: I'm a surgeon. In order to be a surgeon, a certain amount of self- obsession is necessary. My boyfriend gets that. If his mother doesn't. It's her problem. BEN: I used to have a boyfriend. When I got the tumer, he understood. He tried to understand. He loved me. But his mother didn't. My offending everyone offended her. And he said he didn't care what his mother thought. But in the end he did care, 'cause now it's two years later and I'm having brain surgery, and only my fat sister Ruth is with me. CHRISTINA: Benjamin, that was kind of rude. BEN: Sorry. [SCENE_BREAK] CHRISTINA: If the tumor is removed, is it going to bring his old personality back? DEREK: If we get the tumor out and Benjamin lives, anything else is icing on the cake. [SCENE_BREAK] CALLIE: I'm locking down the external fixator. BAILEY: There's no active bleeding, and the trajectory is clear. CHIEF: Karev, I want you to hold pressure on the liver. Put your hands down there and don't move. You with the saw, don't make a move until we get our hands on every vital organ around the tree trunk. The parents, have they said their goodbyes? BAILEY: Mom's not here yet. ALEX: And the father was too busy blaming him to say goodbye. BAILEY: Speak when you're spoken to Karev. I've had enough out of you today. ALEX: All due respect Dr. Bailey, I think you've gotten me mixed up with Izzie Stephens. CHIEF: All right, everybody, take your positions. Cut carefully. We'll get this thing out in pieces. [SCENE_BREAK] DEREK: You see that right there? It's too close to the cavernous sinus. Suction. I've got a bleeder. The brain is starting to swell. His heart can't take it. Yang get those paddles. Move! CHRISTINA: Clear! [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: Renal artery's collapsed. CHIEF: I thought you had that. ALEX: Hepatic artery is gone. BAILEY: BP is dropping. CHIEF: Oh he's bleeding. He's bleeding fast. Laps. [SCENE_BREAK] NURSE: No change. Epi and atropine are in. CHRISTINA: Still in v-fib. DEREK: Shock him again. [SCENE_BREAK] ADDISON: I've decided that I'm going to get really fat. Just as a stopgap. Just until I figure out another plan. I'm going to eat all of these muffins, and I'm going to really, gloriously fat. It's over. Over. OVER. I'm talking about the last third of my life, Miranda. How can it be over? How can it just end? Over a skanky pair of panties and... a bad tux? I am desirable, Amanda. BAILEY: Miranda ADDISON: Right. Joe, I'm desirable, right? JOE: I have a boyfriend. ADDISON: Be that as it may, I don't need me to tell you how wildly attractive I am. Wildly attractive. JOE: You are, and your wildly attractive cab is here. ADDISON: It is? JOE: You told me to call you a cab at 10:00. It's 10:00. ADDISON: I guess that's for the best, huh? BAILEY: I would say so. [SCENE_BREAK] MRS. SEABURY: Hey. Can I buy you a drink? I have a lot of them. I'm trying one of everything. ALEX: Hey. Aren't you the cake lady from this morning? Aren't you supposed to be having surgery? MRS. SEABURY: Well that hasn't been decided yet. So you're a doctor? ALEX: Yes. I'm a doctor. MRS. SEABURY: Does that mean you can't drink with me? ALEX: Not at all. [SCENE_BREAK] (George is throwing darts. He misses the board completely on the first shot.) MEREDITH: George... you're going to kill someone. What are you doing? GEORGE: I'm working it. If Callie can be bad, so can I. (He throws another dart which almost hits a seated woman.) WOMAN: Hey! Watch it! MEREDITH: George, Callie is hot. She's like really sexy...almost dirty hot. And she's hot for you. In my opinion, you could keep using the darts as weapons, or you could go get lucky with a sexy, hot, dirty girl. CHRISTINA: Where's he going? MEREDITH: To get laid. CHRISTINA: God, you know there is something wrong in the world when bambi's getting laid and I can't get 5 minutes alone with Burke. What are you doing? MEREDITH: Day's over. I'm flipping a coin. Call it. CHRISTINA: The brain surgeon should be heads. MEREDITH: Right. (She flips the coin, but we don't see what it lands on.) MEREDITH: Choice made. CHRISTINA: Oh that's it? You're going to base your choice on flipping a coin? MEREDITH: I'm taking a cue from Benjamin. Impulsive, honest. CHRISTINA: Benjamin died. He wasn't impulsive Meredith. He wasn't honest. He was sick and brain damaged. And now he's dead. [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: Mr. Hernandez? May I? (She sits next to him and grabs an Izzie muffin.) You-you okay? Your son is going to be fine. MR. HERNANDEZ: He was off with his friends. I let him go off with that thing. I knew better. His friend, he has this driveway up on a hill. I just keep picturing him...i just keep picturing him going down that hill and I didn't stop him. I should have stopped him. BAILEY: Kids spin out of control sometimes. They spin out of control. You can't... MR. HERNANDEZ: Yes, you can. You can control them. It's your job as a parent to control them. Ever since the divorce, I only get to see him every other weekend. I never would have bought him that louge. I never would have let him go off on his own that way before. I went soft. I went soft when he needed me to be the father. [SCENE_BREAK] MRS. SEABURY: I wish I'd had more fun. I didn't want to be a slult. I didn't want to be a tramp. I didn't have any fun. My ex husband...he had fun. All sorts of fun with all sorts of women who were a lot more fun than me. Nobody called him a slut. Why is that? Men can do it but women can't. ALEX: Women can. I know some who do. MRS. SEABURY: Not without being called names. ALEX: What do you care what people call you? I get called an ass, I don't care. MRS. SEABURY: I dont think you're an ass. ALEX: I don' t think you're a slut. MRS. SEABURY: You have a girlfriend Alex? ALEX: No, no girlfriend. MRS. SEABURY: So you're single? ALEX: Yes. Definitely. I'm single. MRS. SEABURY: I'm single too. And I'm very bad at this. Never actually had any practice. So..um. I'm going to go into the bathroom. And if I find myself alone in there after two minutes, I'll just touch up my makeup and come back out. But should you have any interest in fulfilling the wish of a potentially dying woman...you know where I'll be. (Alex follows her into the bathroom.) Callie is in her room...in her underwear and sunglasses...dancing around. Chief passes her room (jogging I think as he lives there too) and comes in. CHIEF: Getting some exercise Dr. Torres? CALLIE: Yes... Yes... Sir. Chief Webber. [SCENE_BREAK] (Meredith is sitting at Joe's. In walks Finn, who comes over to her table.) FINN: Hi MEREDITH: Hi. Then in walks Derek, who also walks to her table. DEREK: Finn. FINN: Derek. MEREDITH: Thanks for coming. Both of you, thanks for coming. Here's the thing. I like you (to Finn) and I like you (to Derek). And I thought I had a choice to make I thought I had to decide. But I think I owe myself the chance to consider my options. FINN: Options? MEREDITH: There's this thing that allows for the considering of options. In the olden days they called it dating. DEREK: Dating? MEREDITH: Yes I'd like to try that. DEREK: You want to try dating. MEREDITH: Yes. FINN: Both of us? MEREDITH: Yes. I understand if you're not up for it. But, I really hope you are. (With that, she walks out.) FINN: You bowing out? DEREK: No, you? FINN: I don't think so. [SCENE_BREAK] CHIEF: You're here first. You get all the best cases. Trauma comes in the middle of the night, you get first dibs. CALLIE: Exactly. CHIEF: I respect it. I do. And also I can't have it and you know it. CALLIE: You're throwing me out. CHIEF: Got no choice. This violates all sorts of codes and you know it. CALLIE: I have to go but you're allowed to live in your office? CHIEF: You noticed that huh? CALLIE: Yeah, I'm pretty observant. CHIEF: Guess if I'm throwing you out I have to follow my own rules. GEORGE (with flowers for Callie): Ok I'm jealous. I have a right to be jealous cause I don't want other guys touching your panties. He sees Callie half naked sitting on her bed with Chief, having coffee and leaves.[/i]) GEORGE: Great. That's great! CHIEF: Might want to clear that up. CALLIE: Yes sir. [SCENE_BREAK] (Mrs. Seabury emerges from the bathroom, flustered.) JOE: You headin' out Dana? MRS. SEABURY: Gotta get back to the hospital Joe. Kick this cancer's ass. (Alex emerges...) ALEX: What do I owe Joe? BAILEY: Alex... about today... ALEX: Dr. Bailey, you were right. I shouldn't be getting physical with patients. [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: The body is a slave to its impulses. (Christina goes to Burke's room, where he's with his mom.) BURKE: I don't know if it's going to get any better mama. MRS. BURKE: Well I do baby. I do know. Christina, it's late. Preston needs his sleep. MEREDITH: But the thing that makes us human... CHRISTINA: I'm sorry Mrs. Burke, I was just coming to see if either of you needed anything before I went home for the evening. MEREDITH: Is what we can control. MRS. BURKE: We're fine. CHRISTINA: Good night Preston. Sleep well. Mr. BURKE: Hang in there MEREDITH: after the storm. After the rush. After the heat of the moment has passed. CALLIE (to George who is lying on a bench outside the hospital) The panties? GEORGE: Yeah... CALLIE: Not mine. GEORGE: Yeah? CALLIE: The jealousy? GEORGE: Yeah CALLIE: Insanely hot. GEORGE: What's with the suitcase? [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: We can cool off and clean up the messes we've made. (The group walks into Meredith's kitchen to find Izzie making more muffins.) IZZIE: I'm busy you guys, leave me alone. BAILEY: Izzie... I went soft. I had a baby and I swore it wouldn't change me. It just...it does change you. I got tired. I got busy, and I stopped teaching. I stopped teaching when you needed a teacher the most. IZZIE: You couldn't have stopped me. BAILEY: Yes I could have. You couldn't have stopped you, but I could have. And in the past I would have. I went soft, And I'm partly to blame for what happened. So, I want you to come back .you'll talk to the chief, well work it out. Because you're talented, and capable, and we all make mistakes - and it's enough muffins. (She grabs the spoon from Izzie's hand.) MEREDITH: We can try to let go of what was. [SCENE_BREAK] ADDISON: I thought you were room service. DEREK: I feel terrible. I'm not proud of what I did. You deserve better. And I'm sorry about the panties. The prom. I'm sorry I did that. ADDISON: Yeah. I'm sorry you did that too. DEREK: Our marriage is over. ADDISON: Yeah I guess it is. DEREK: It's all my fault. It's incredibly sad (Mark walks out of the bathroom... steamy and naked, wrapping himself in a towel.) MEREDITH: And then again... MARK: Oh this is awkward. DEREK: I feel much better now.	Plan: A: a bad first impression; Q: What does Cristina make on Burke's parents? A: Burke; Q: Whose mother believes Cristina is selfish and driven for her son? A: a "mama's boy; Q: What does Cristina think Burke is? A: cardiothoracic surgery; Q: What is Burke's specialty? A: her grieving; Q: What does Izzie use baking to cope with? A: hundreds; Q: How many muffins does Izzie bake to cope with her grief? A: Meredith; Q: Who struggles to choose between Derek and Finn? A: a day; Q: How long does Addison take off from work after pinning Meredith's panties to the bulletin board? A: the day drinking; Q: What does Addison do on her day off? A: Bailey; Q: Who finds the panties on the bulletin board and loses it? A: the pit; Q: Where does Bailey have Alex help her in? A: a teenage patient; Q: Who is impaled on a tree branch? A: A brain tumor patient quizzes Meredith; Q: Who quizzes Meredith and Cristina about their relationships? A: their respective relationships; Q: What do Cristina and Meredith quiz a brain tumor patient about? A: Webber; Q: Who discovers that Callie has been living in the hospital? A: the bulletin board; Q: Where did Bailey find Meredith's panties? A: Meredith's embarrassment; Q: What does Callie see in Meredith and takes the blame for? A: the blame; Q: What does Callie take when Bailey finds Meredith's panties on the bulletin board? A: George; Q: Who is jealous of Callie? A: A surgical patient; Q: Who lives what may be her last day to the fullest? Summary: Cristina makes a bad first impression on Burke's parents and is also surprised to find that he is a "mama's boy". Burke's mother believes that Cristina is too selfish and driven for her son, and is only trying to take advantage of his extensive knowledge of cardiothoracic surgery. Izzie uses baking to cope with her grieving, and bakes hundreds of muffins. After pinning Meredith's panties to a bulletin board, Addison takes a day off from the hospital and spends the day drinking. Due to Addison taking the day off, Bailey has Alex help her in the pit, and they're faced with a teenage patient who has been impaled on a tree branch. A brain tumor patient quizzes Meredith and Cristina over their respective relationships. Webber discovers that Callie has been living in the hospital and tells her she has to leave because of hospital policy. Bailey finds the panties on the bulletin board and loses it, demanding to know who they belong to. Callie sees Meredith's embarrassment and takes the blame, which in turn causes George to become jealous, fearing Callie might have cheated on him. A surgical patient lives what may be her last day to the fullest. Meredith must choose between Derek and Finn, and struggles coming to a decision. In the end she tells them both that she would like to try dating them both instead.
Jim: [entering office] Hey. So, we saw a new billboard. Andy: Yeah? Pretty cool, huh? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: What better way to announce our new slightly lower prices than with an ad campaign? And what better face for an ad campaign than our new regional manager? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: How'd it look? Jim: You've seen it, right? Andy: No. Pam: Andy, somebody defaced it. Andy: What? [Stanley enters office laughing] Morning, Stanley. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: There's this thing that people tend to do with billboards. How do I put this? If there's an opportunity for a graffiti artist to work in a... phallic shape, interacting with the artwork, it'll happen, and Andy gave them that opportunity. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Erin, how long did we order those billboards for? Erin: Six months. Andy: Oh, god. I need you to call the billboard company. Meredith: [entering office] Great billboard! Funny, edgy, right up to the line without crossing it, loved it. Andy: Which one did you see? Meredith: Washington Street, the one with, like, twenty dongs on it. Jim: Okay, don't be gross. Dwight: [entering office] What's going on? Pam: Somebody defaced the billboards we just put out in an inappropriate way. Dwight: Oh, that's funny. Wait, from the photo shoot with you and me? Andy: Yeah, Dwight. Dwight: No. No. No! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! [running from building] No, no, no, no, no, no, No, No, No, NO, NO! NO! NO! NO! [stopping in front of defaced billboard] NOOOOOOOOO! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Schrute Farms is very easy to find, it's right in the middle of the root vegetable district. If the soil starts to get acidic, you've probably gone too far. Ryan: Just give us the address. We'll look it up online. Dwight: It's simpler this way. Oscar: It's really not. Andy: Now, stated arrival time is 3 p.m. Kelly: I don't get the reason for this party. Phyllis: Yeah, what's the reason? Kelly: What's the reason, Andy? What's the reason? Andy: It's just a garden party. Sheesh. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: You don't need a reason to throw a garden party anymore than you need a reason to throw a birthday party. It's a garden party. You don't need a reason. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Few other super simple reminders - no burping, no slurping, when eating take small bites and chew thoroughly with your mouth closed. Yes, Darryl? Darryl: What happens when we're done chewing? Do we spit it out on the floor, or keep it in our mouths the rest of the time? Andy: I get it, I'm being a little overbearing. But I promise to be underbearing for a week if you guys just all... step it up. Oscar: Andy, we understand basic table manners, we're not children. Phyllis: Yeah, it's just a picnic. Andy: This is not a picnic, Phyllis, it's a garden party. Darryl: There's a grill in the warehouse I could bring. Andy: Aw, ew, please don't. Not a barbecue. It's better than a barbecue. It's dignified, quieter, there are rules. Pam: How is that better than a barbecue? Ryan: What's the dress code on this? Andy: I'm glad you asked - Connecticut Casual. Stanley: Any chance Connecticut Casual is Pennsylvania Business, i.e. this is what I'm wearing to your party. Andy: Guys, my family just threw a garden party to celebrate my brother's promotion. It was a huge success. Check it out, there's a video online. Heartwarming impromptu father-son duet. [video playing on computer] Kevin: Yeah, Oscar, you showed me this. Darryl: I've seen this, that's not you. Meredith: Yeah, whoa, who's the sausage? Andy: It's my dad and my brother. I would have joined in but this melody doesn't really support another harmony part, so... Check it out, that's my brother's boss. Look how psyched he is, he's having an awesome time. Jim: Ah, and did Robert California get an invite to your party? Andy: Yeah, of course. Ye... I mean, uh, yeah, I think he did. [groans from the group] Phyllis: Why didn't you just say this was to impress Robert California? [SCENE_BREAK] Gabe: I cannot believe that Andy is throwing a party like this just to impress the CEO. Classic Gabe move. Hey Andy, how about you don't steal my business strategies, and I won't dress like my life is just one long brunch? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: See you all there at 3 p.m., Connecticut Casual, remember your manners, and have a wonderful time. Dwight: And please refer to the map, stay off of the web. Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [pointing to computer monitor] So, we've typed in the address, now let's take a look at the street view. [picture of Dwight and Mose on a see-saw] Dwight: They don't warn you when the cameras are driving by. Jim: Ah. Why do you keep reading that garden party book? I mean, how hard are finger sandwiches and tea? Dwight: There's so much more to it than that. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I've been wanting Schrute Farms to break into the high-end event hosting industry for some time, and this party is a great opportunity. Plus, I've got a secret weapon. [holds up book, Throwing A Garden Party by James Trickington] Only one copy in the world and some sucker on the internet sold it to me for two dollars. [laughs] [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: I'm actually really disappointed in how poorly my book is doing. [holds up same book] I've only sold one copy. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Is there anything you wish you had done differently to avoid cankles? Pam: Nope. Angela: I've already gone up another cup size. The senator is grossed out. When do you start feeling it kick? Pam: Cece was around 22 weeks, but Phillip was much earlier. Angela: Phillip? Pam: Oh, oh my gosh. Yes, but don't, don't say anything, okay? It's after my grandfather. Angela: Phillip is the name that we're using. It's after my favorite cat. Pam: [giggling] Oh, wow. Funny. It's after my grandfather. Angela: It's after my cat. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: [on the phone] Andrew, I've picked up two possible gifts to bring this afternoon. One, a pot of marmalade. Andy: Ooh, that sounds great. Robert: Well, that, that is what you want then, the marmalade. Andy: Sure. Robert: You don't want to hear the other one. You love marmalade. Andy: Uh, I'll hear the other one. Robert: It's a basil plant. Andy: You know, the marmalade sounds great. Robert: I also mentioned the marmalade to my sister and she's very interested. Andy: Then the basil will be fine. Robert: Well, you clearly want the marmalade. Gretchen, I need another marmalade. Alright. [hangs up] [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: Hey, where do I park? Mose: I'm the valet. You have to give me your car. Toby: Uh, you know what, I can go park it myself. Mose: I'm the... I'm the valet. You have to give me your car. Toby: It's probably okay... Mose: Give me your car. Toby: I think it's better that I... Mose: Give me your car. Toby: It's a finicky car... Mose: Get out. Have a good time at the thing. Toby: It's a little tricky, you might have to... take... [Mose speeds away] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: MR. RYAN HOWARD! [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Chapter 2 - Announcing guests as they enter is the height of decorum. The more volume displayed, the more honor is bestowed upon everyone present. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: STANLEY HUDSON AND HIS MISTRESS CYNTHIA! JAMES, PAMELA, AND PEEPEE HALPERT! [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: How's it going over here, guys? Oscar: Andy, stop hovering, you're being really annoying. Andy: Didn't mean to bother you, Mabel. Mabel, Mabel, if you're able, keep your elbows off the table. Oscar: Wow. Dwight: MR. AND MRS. WALTER AND ELLEN BERNARD! [SCENE_BREAK] Walter: So, you all work with Andy. Andy: Well, technically FOR Andy. Oscar: Technically FOR Robert California. He's our CEO. Ellen: I thought you were the CEO. Andy: I don't know how you got there. Walter: You said you were running the company. Andy: This branch, I'm the regional manager. Walter: Yes, that makes more sense. Are you all regional managers? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Did I throw this party to impress my parents? That's crazy. Now, if they wanted a garden party, they could throw one themselves, which, as a matter of fact, they did, last week. They threw one for my baby brother who is totally amazing, but I couldn't care less. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Can I introduce you around now? Walter: Uh, yeah, we don't have too long, we have theater tickets. Andy: What are you going to see? Walter: Money Ball. Walter Jr.'s choice. Andy: What?? Walter Jr: Hey Bronard! Andy: I didn't know you were going to be here. Walter Jr: I wouldn't have missed it. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Ahh! [bird steals her hat] [SCENE_BREAK] Walter Jr: I'm Walter, Andy's younger brother. Jim: Oh, hey, how are you doing, I'm Jim. Walter Jr: Tuna, right? And this must be your lovely wife Pam [looking at Meredith]. Jim: No. Meredith: Hell no. She wishes. Jim: No, no, no, no, no. No. [SCENE_BREAK] Waiter: Sir, I need to be able to feed all the guests. Kevin: [mouthful of food] I understand. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Set that down. [grabs waitress] Present yourself. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Chapter 4 - One of the host's most important duties is as Dance Master. A proper courtly dance sets the tone for the entire afternoon. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I PRESENT, ROBERT CALIFORNIA! Robert: Hello Andy. Andy: Welcome. Robert: Thank you. Andy: Hey, I want you to meet my first bosses, Mom and Dad. Robert: Yes, hello, nice to meet you. Walter: Pleasure. Robert: Andy, where shall I put your basil plant? Andy: Oh, I thought you were going to bring marmalade. Robert: No, I'm certain you said basil. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: This is not funny, man, let me down. Kevin: I think this thing is broken. Ryan: It's not broken, Kevin. This is how it works. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: So pretty today. Ellen: It's getting chilly. Walter: We really should be leaving. Andy: Yeah, um, it would be weird if the boss man didn't make a toast, so, hang on. Everybody, I just want to take this opportunity to thank you all for coming, and to raise a glass to my amazing staff. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Toasts are great. I mean, you toast somebody, they toast you back. It just goes round and round. That's my favorite part about toasts, the reciprocity. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Let's hear from you guys, who do you want to toast? Darryl: Yeah, I'll say something. I think we should be acknowledging our boss, because none of us would be here without him. Robert California! [everyone toasts] [SCENE_BREAK] Gabe: I can't believe I didn't think of toasting Robert. Get in the game, Gabriel! Why are you talking to Stanley's mistress? [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: I would like to toast someone who isn't here but who will be in just four short months. Welcome to the world, Phillip Lipton! Pam: I also would like to toast Phillip Halpert, who is due even sooner. May he be a good namesake to my grandfather who I promised as a child long before tonight that I would one day name my son after him. To Phillip Halpert! [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: She just always has to copy anything I do! It's the Ford Taurus situation all over again! [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: I'd like to make a toast to the troops. All the troops. Both sides. Erin: I think we should toast... [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Ladies and gentlemen! The last supper. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Chapter 9 - The tableau vivant is not only welcomed, but expected entertainment at any garden party. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: Andy? I think we should acknowledge the man who has led us to such a profitable quarter. To Robert California. Gabe: I would also like to toast Robert California. Mr. California,... Andy: You can't triple toast somebody! At least not until we get everyone once. Robert: I'll say a few words if that's alright with you, Andy. Andy: Yeah, yeah. Robert: You people say I led you, but it wasn't me. You want to toast the man who led you to success, but the boss is irrelevant. Andy and I, we produce nothing. We do nothing. We sit in our offices and demand, I want this and that right now, like petulant children. You know, the difference between a crying baby and a manager, one day the baby will grow up. But, without you, Andy and I would be sitting in our dirty diapers, waiting for someone to change us, wipe us. I should be toasting you, thanking you, for allowing me to have the easiest job in the universe. Cheers. Gabe: To Robert California, from the moment you entered our building and our hearts, you... Andy: Some of you know that we have an internet star in our midst. Mr. Walter Baynes Bernard Sr., please report to the stage! Walter: I'm eating, Andy. Andy: Ah, come on! Walter: Okay. Okay. Andy: Yes! Walter: What do you want to do? Andy: Well, how about one of our classic father/son duets? [starts playing guitar] Walter: Oh, whoa, sure? Really? It's a little tricky. Andy: [singing] Saying I love you is not the words... Walter: It's too high. Andy: Yeah? Walter: It's high but it's not that high. Andy: Right, it feels strange. Walter: Just take it down a little. Andy: Saying I love... Saying I love you... Walter: Here, give it to me. Okay. Uh, something like... [singing] Saying I love you is... Andy & Walter: ...not the words... Walter: You don't come in yet. [singing] ...I want to hear from you, It's not that I want you... Andy & Walter: ...not to say it but if you only knew... More than words is all you have to do to make it real... Andy: Is anyone filming this? Seriously! Erin! Erin: [holding up cell phone] It's either taping or calling. Andy & Walter: What would you do if my heart was torn in two... Walter: You know what, Walter Jr. is here. Why don't you come up and join us? Walter Jr: Dad, no. I'm just having a good time getting to know Andy's friends here. Meredith: Get up there and sing or I will cut your larynx and you'll never be able to sing again. Woo! Walter & Walter Jr: [singing] May the good lord be with you down every road you roam. And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home. And may you grow to be proud, dignified and true. And do unto others as you'd have done to you... Andy: [applauds] Cheers! Alright! Cheers, cheers, cheers, get your own guitar. Erin's Cell Phone: If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. Erin: Sorry. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: I am so cold. Ryan: That's because you didn't bring a jacket. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: My first love is beet farming, but it's a young man's game. Who ever heard of an old beet farmer? Robert: Forget the beets. Concentrate on the hosting. I could spend a considerable amount of money having my birthday party here. Dwight: Oh really? Well, we have a number of birthday packages. The Pewter Package has the least amount of goats, not no goats, it's still 10-12 goats, depending on the availability of the goats. Now the Goat Package obviously has the most goats. What were you thinking? Robert: Of course I am not interested in goats. Why would you spend so much time going over the goats with me? Dwight: I can get you exotic meats - hippo steaks, giraffe burgers... Robert: We'll talk. [walks away] Dwight: It'll all be goat. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Hello, Cece Halpert? This is Andrew Bernard. I'd very much like to speak with you about your paper supply needs. That wasn't even my worst sales call. Walter: [knocks] Hi. What was that display? Andy: I don't know, I just thought if I could throw this great garden party and show you how respected I am that you'd be proud of me. Walter: Andrew... Andy: I know, I know that you're proud of me. Walter: I'm not going to tell you how impressed I am that you're a manager of some rinky dink branch of a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania. How long are you going to go on needing my approval? You're a grown man, don't act like a little boy who needs... [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: I think if I had parents like that I'd be trying to convince everyone all the time how great I was, too. Oscar: Guess we found Andy's rosebud. Darryl: Rosebud? Oscar: It's a reference to Citizen Kane. Something that explains why a person became the way they are. Darryl: I know Citizen Kane. Rosebud didn't explain why he was how he was, it just represented what was important to him as a child, that he missed. Oscar: Different school of thought. Let's just agree to disagree. Darryl: No. You're wrong. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: Are you sure? Ryan: Yeah! I'm too hot anyway. Robert: My body has somehow become acclimated to southern Italy. Isn't that strange? I've never been there! Oh, ah, yes, that's nice. Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] Walter: It was a nice party, the setting was a little strange. Uh, the food... Ellen: Sandwiches were dry. Walter Jr: Bye Tuna, bye Pam! [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Hey everybody, I'm gonna leave and I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. Darryl: Cheeseburger or hamburger. Andy: Um, cheeseburger. Oscar: Narddog. [throws Andy a can] Andy: Thanks, Oscar. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: What are they doing? Jim: Closing ceremonies. Pam: Nice touch. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: I think I left my wallet in your house. Dwight: Who cares. Jim: Right here. Dwight: MR. JAMES HALPERT! Jim: Keys, keys... Dwight: Stop forgetting things. Jim: I didn't forget them, they're right here. Dwight: MR. JAMES HALPERT! Jim: I'm so sorry, I think I forgot that thing... Dwight: What? Idiot. Jim: Whoo. Dwight: MIS... MI... What are you doing? Jim: Hey, I have a question. Who do you think is really the best salesman in this office? Dwight: That's a stupid question, obviously mISTER JAMES HALPERT!	Plan: A: Andy; Q: Who is disappointed that his father shows favoritism towards his brother? A: Schrute Farms; Q: Where does Andy throw a garden party to impress Robert? A: Stephen Collins; Q: Who plays Andy's father? A: Dee Wallace; Q: Who is Andy's mother? A: Josh Groban; Q: Who is Andy's brother? A: obvious favoritism; Q: What does Andy's father show towards his brother? A: Dwight Schrute; Q: Who is Rainn Wilson? A: a book; Q: What is Jim trying to prank Dwight with? A: Jim; Q: Who wrote the book that Dwight is trying to make classy? Summary: Andy throws a garden party at Schrute Farms to impress Robert, with his parents ( Stephen Collins and Dee Wallace ) and brother ( Josh Groban ) in attendance. Andy is disappointed that even at his own party, his father shows obvious favoritism towards his brother. A conversation between Andy and his father is later broadcast via a baby monitor to the rest of the members of the office. In the meantime, Dwight Schrute ( Rainn Wilson ) works to make it a classy event, on the behest of a book that is an elaborate prank by Jim.
Jack's in his car, typing to Irina on his laptop. [SCENE_BREAK] JACK: (typing) IRINA. HAVE INTEL ON COVENANT ENDGAME. NEED TO DISCUSS. IRINA: (typing) What do you need? JACK: (typing) I NEED INFORMATION ABOUT THE PASSENGER JACK: (typing) IRINA? (computer): CONNECTION ERROR (computer): RE-ESTABLISHING CONNECTION (computer): USER ACCOUNT TERMINATED [SCENE_BREAK] Nepal, the Monastery [SCENE_BREAK] Conrad is praying or something. Sark appears out of nowhere with a gun pointed at Conrad's head. SARK: I'm looking for the passenger. CONRAD: (says a few words of Nepali or some other such language) SARK: I have a great respect for the followers of Rambaldi, and I know you to be a truly wise man. But if you do not tell me where to find the Passenger in five seconds, I will kill you. Conrad disarms Sark, field strips his Beretta, and tosses it on the ground. Sark throws some other kind of weapon at Conrad, who dodges it. CONRAD: I cannot help you, Mr. Sark. SARK: How do you know my name? They fight some more. Someone shoots Conrad with a tranquilizer. It's... OLIVIA: Retrieve the manuscript regarding the Passenger and I'll meet you in Rajasthan. Bring him with you. He may be useful if the manuscript is encrypted. [SCENE_BREAK] Some Rooftop. Jack and Sydney talking as they're on their way to meet Vaughn. JACK: ...but when I mentioned the passenger to your mother, she terminated her user account. SYDNEY: Which means one of two things: she is the passenger, or she's protecting her. Sydney and Vaughn are both wearing new sunglasses. Weird. SYDNEY: What's going on? Your message said it was important. VAUGHN: You were right. SYDNEY: About what? VAUGHN: Lauren's the mole. She works for the Covenant. JACK: You have proof? VAUGHN: I should have known. SYDNEY: We should talk to Dixon and figure out a way to handle this. VAUGHN: Oh, I know how to handle this. JACK: You will act like nothing has changed. VAUGHN: Okay, what's plan B, because that's not going to happen. JACK: Tracking Lauren might allow us to catch up. She cannot detect the slightest alteration in your relationship. I'll inform Dixon, secure the Agency, limiting her access to classified documents. VAUGHN: Okay, stop. My wife betrayed me. She betrayed all of us. You can't expect me to pretend that never happened. JACK: I'm not sure you have a choice. VAUGHN: Why is that? JACK: Because you're the one that married her. [SCENE_BREAK] Rotunda [SCENE_BREAK] LAUREN: I missed you this morning. VAUGHN: I got up early and went to the gym. I should have left you a note. LAUREN: Oh, it's fine. In fact, I like it. It makes me feel like we've settled back into our lives. VAUGHN: Yeah. I think we have. LAUREN: Before my dad died, I asked you if you would come with me to counseling and you said no. I still think it could help. Sydney and Jack are watching. SYDNEY: After thirty years you still live with your wife's betrayal. Will he? JACK: Absolutely. Dixon walks up. DIXON: An Echelon intercept we just received indicates the Covenant has kidnapped someone they believe can help them find the Passenger. A convoy is transporting them across western Rajasthan. You and Vaughn will intercept it and take him into custody. MARSHALL: Now we don't have the Indian government's cooperation, and the airspace is restricted. So we're going in old-school. [SCENE_BREAK] THAR [D]ESERT (pushthrough) [SCENE_BREAK] Sark is part of a Covenant convoy headed across the desert. SARK: (to driver) We've done well here, quite well. Sydney and Vaughn approach on horseback. Sydney gets into the back of one of the trucks and finds Conrad. Conrad kicks a gun out of a guard's hand before he can shoot Sydney. SYDNEY: Thank you. We have to go. Follow me. She unties him, and gets onto a horse. Conrad is still on the back of the truck. In the cab, Sark sees what's going on. SARK: Give me your gun. Give me the gun, now! Sark shoots Conrad. SARK: Press on, we have everything we need. In the sand, Conrad is dying... CONRAD: They have the Restoration. CONRAD: Passenger is compromised. SYDNEY: Just breathe. CONRAD: It's you. The Passenger... she is your destiny. SYDNEY: How is she my destiny? As a friend, as an enemy, tell me that. Is the passenger my mother? CONRAD: Passenger is... your sister. Conrad dies. [SCENE_BREAK] Title Sequence [SCENE_BREAK] Rotunda Corner - Jack and Sydney [SCENE_BREAK] SYDNEY: In Nepal, the convoy was transporting a man. We tried rescuing him from the Covenant, but he was shot. Before he died, he told me my mother was not the Passenger. He said my sister was. JACK: Who was this man? SYDNEY: A monk, a cleric, a Rambaldi scholar. What difference does it make? Do I have a sister? JACK: I don't know. SYDNEY: Maybe that's why mom's name was linked to the Passenger. Maybe because she had another child... JACK: During our marriage, your mother had an affair. If in fact you do have a sister, it's conceivable she is the product of that indiscretion. I'd hoped to spare you the name of the person with whom the affair took place, but if he is the father of your sister, that is no longer possible. SYDNEY: Who is it? [SCENE_BREAK] Prison - Sydney goes to visit Sloane. [SCENE_BREAK] SLOANE: Sydney. Thank God. You have to help me. SYDNEY: Your execution cannot come fast enough. SLOANE: I'm innocent, Sydney. I have not violated my pardon agreement. It was based on my cooperation with an organization known as the Trust. Senator Reed was my contact. If he was the mole, I did not know. Ask your father; he knows that. SYDNEY: If you were innocent, he'd find a way to stay your execution even though you had an affair with his wife. SLOANE: You know that. SLOANE: I have 72 hours to live. I want you to focus on that, not on some affair I had 25 years ago. SYDNEY: I'm not focusing on the affair. I'm focusing on the child that resulted from it, a sister I never knew I had. SLOANE: Must have come as a shock to you. It did to me when I found out. SYDNEY: Are you telling me you didn't know? SLOANE: No, not until two years ago, while I was in a monastery in Nepal run by followers of Rambaldi. SYDNEY: Go on. SLOANE: Sydney, the revelation that I had a child, it was overwhelming. I spent every possible moment from that day on searching for my child. The DiRegno heart, Il Dire, they gave me an individual's DNA, and the word "peace". SYDNEY: Which, in Greek, translates into Irina. SLOANE: I did a DNA test to confirm that I was the father of the child. Sydney, I created Omnifam. While I was inoculating millions of people against diseases, I was simultaneously able to gain access to medical databases that identified people through their DNA. And I hoped that it would help me find my daughter. I failed. SYDNEY: You know she is the Passenger. Sloane's on the verge of tears. SLOANE: I know. I know. I also know the Covenant is after her. Sydney, I want to protect my child. SLOANE: So please talk to your father. If he is concealing information that would exonerate me because I had an affair with Irina, convince him to give it to you, if not for my sake, then for your sister's. [SCENE_BREAK] Rotunda Lounge WEISS: Okay, here's what we found out from Project Blackhole. The Restoration refers to documents written about the Passenger. MARSHALL: Now that's the bad news. The good news is that even though the Covenant has the documents, they can't read them. JACK: They're in code. WEISS: Yes, and we have the only code key. DIXON: It's a stalemate. JACK: Not if we're smart about it. Here's what we do. JACK: We call a briefing, making sure to include Lauren. Once she's there, you detail the following information. DIXON: Analysis is currently filtering through some chatter they picked up referencing the Restoration. They're certain it'll only be a matter of hours before they can locate these documents. JACK: After indicating confidence in our ability to locate and recapture the Restoration, we then explain what we will do once we have it. DIXON: Project Blackhole is delivering the code key today. The minute we come into possession of the Restoration, Marshall will begin the decoding process. JACK: In truth, Marshall will be receiving a bogus code key. DIXON: We should also remind Lauren that... JACK: Even if we do not recover the documents, we know that without this code key, the Covenant will not be able to read it. JACK: After learning a code key exists, it is probable Lauren will try and copy it. That's where you come in. MARSHALL: Me? JACK: You have to act completely normal. [SCENE_BREAK] Marshall's Office [SCENE_BREAK] LAUREN: Marshall. Marshall panics and drops what he's working on. MARSHALL: Lauren. Agent Vaughn, Reed. Mrs. Vaughn-Reed. Hi. What can I do for you? LAUREN: Project Blackhole does not share its toys as often as the NSC would like, governmental turf-war, that kind of thing. MARSHALL: Of course. LAUREN: When I told them about the code key, they insisted I detail it for them. MARSHALL: Right, well go ahead, have a look, and while you're at it, have a kender. (?) MARSHALL: Whoa, not on the Flinkman file. It's just a little journal I'm keeping for Mitch: patent ideas, history of quantum mechanics, brief intro to string theory, you know, basics. LAUREN: The letters here, what language is that? MARSHALL: It's fourth-century Neapolitan Italian, which I love saying because it makes me think of ice cream. Marshall starts laughing in a really strange, nervous, uncharacteristic way. LAUREN: Neapolitan ice cream is my favorite. As Lauren leaves his office, he mutters to himself... MARSHALL: Really? Mine too. [SCENE_BREAK] Rotunda Lounge MARSHALL: She is good. Then he begins one of his patented attempts to remove foot from mouth... MARSHALL: I mean, if you had to fall in love with someone who was evil, I can see why it was her. You know... not that you're in love... with her... whatever the attraction was originally... VAUGHN: Did she take the bait? MARSHALL: Well, I'm not sure, but she did take my thumbprint. May I? He hurries over to a computer. DIXON: What are you doing? MARSHALL: I'm checking to see if there's any use of my biometric access within the Agency. MARSHALL: She's in image processing. SYDNEY: She must be duplicating the code key. In fact, she is duplicating the code key, as evidenced by visuals of her duplicating the text on some weird glass or acrylic engraving machine. MARSHALL: Okay, I've left image processing. Well, I haven't left because I'm here and she's there and... JACK: Her next step will be to bring the code key to her handler or whoever can use it to read the documents written about the Passenger. DIXON: All right. You will track her to that location and identify her contact. That should lead us to the location of the documents. At that time, we'll spec out a mission to recover them. DIXON: Jack has told us that the Passenger is your sister. Hopefully what is written on these documents will give us what we need to find her. [SCENE_BREAK] Rotunda [SCENE_BREAK] SYDNEY: Sloane confirmed the child is his. JACK: I see. SYDNEY: I know how much this upsets you. JACK: I'm fine. SYDNEY: Dad, if Sloane is going to be executed, it should be for a crime he's committed. JACK: What exactly are you implying? SYDNEY: If you have evidence exonerating him, you have to use it. JACK: I don't have any evidence. You should go. [SCENE_BREAK] Outdoors - L.A. [SCENE_BREAK] Sydney and Vaughn are surveilling Lauren. VAUGHN: You know what I want? SYDNEY: What? VAUGHN: Normal life. VAUGHN: All right. Here we go. SYDNEY: Lauren's mother? VAUGHN: Olivia? She's supposed to be in London. Lauren's sitting outside at a table. Her mother walks up and sits down. SYDNEY: It looks like she just passed her something. Can you hear anything? VAUGHN: No, we're getting interference from that fountain. They hear... OLIVIA: The Covenant needs you to... SYDNEY: Oh my God. VAUGHN: Hold on, I'm going to filter it through the active noise reduction. They probably don't hear... LAUREN: At least pretend to mourn. OLIVIA: I killed your father to protect you. VAUGHN: The sound waves are isolated. I'm going to invert them and that should... They hear... LAUREN: Where are the documents? OLIVIA: At home, in Richmond. The Covenant wants the complete translations by tomorrow. LAUREN: I'll meet you there. Whatever they tell us about the Passenger, we should act on immediately. [SCENE_BREAK] Barnett's Office [SCENE_BREAK] VAUGHN: Lauren doesn't trust me. BARNETT: Should she trust you? VAUGHN: Trust is based on honesty. When I've had problems, I've talked to her about them. LAUREN: What I don't trust, what worries me, is that Michael will leave me once I've mourned the death of my father. VAUGHN: If that was true, why would I be doing this, if it was all fake? LAUREN: I didn't say it was fake. VAUGHN: Temporary. Whatever. If that's what it was, why would I agree to work on our problems? LAUREN: Our problem is that you think you're still in love with Sydney. VAUGHN: How am I supposed to respond to that? BARNETT: Honestly, would be good. VAUGHN: Sydney is very important to me. We have history, obviously. We're together a lot. We go away together a lot. BARNETT: Do the two of you ever go away? LAUREN: Never. BARNETT: Well maybe you should. Do you have any trips planned? VAUGHN: Lauren's going to see her mother in Richmond. LAUREN: Only for a day.. it's... Optimistically... BARNETT: It's a start. [SCENE_BREAK] Dixon's Office BARNETT: It worked. He's going. [SCENE_BREAK] Olivia's House in Richmond OLIVIA: Hello, darling. LAUREN: Hi. OLIVIA: I'm so glad you made it. You two young people are just what this drafty old house needs. VAUGHN: Thanks, Olivia. It's nice to be here. I'll run these [bags] upstairs. OLIVIA: His being here is unacceptable. LAUREN: I told you, I had no choice. We're supposed to be reconciling. Vaughn plants a bug in a lamp. VAUGHN: (comm) You getting a reading? MARSHALL: (comm) Tapping into the power grid now. The EM sensor I designed should lead us right to it. SYDNEY: (comm) We'll let you know as soon as we find the safe. VAUGHN: (comm) Copy that. [SCENE_BREAK] Lauren, Vaughn, and Lauren's mother are at a table outside. LAUREN: I was just telling mum how great you've been the past few weeks. VAUGHN: Lauren's been incredibly strong. How are you? OLIVIA: I'm doing surprisingly well for a pariah. I never liked politics. You never know who your friends are. At least now that I'm the wife of a traitor, I know the answer. I have none. Vaughn's phone rings. VAUGHN: Excuse me. VAUGHN: (cell) Hello? SYDNEY: (cell) The safe is in the study. VAUGHN: It's Weiss. He needs help on a brief. He gets up, and Lauren touches his hand. VAUGHN: You're cold. When I'm inside, I'll get you a sweater. [SCENE_BREAK] Inside the House [SCENE_BREAK] VAUGHN: (cell) Okay, switching back to comms. VAUGHN: (comm) I'm at the safe. SYDNEY: (comm) Standing by for transmission. He gets the manuscript out of the safe and starts scanning it with a Marshall gadget that's been packed into his watch. VAUGHN: (comm) Scanning text now. MARSHALL: (comm) Copy that, Boyscout... receiving data. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside at the Table LAUREN: Have you decoded the documents? OLIVIA: I haven't had the time. Most of the work was supposed to be going on while you were here. LAUREN: You do your work. I can handle him. OLIVIA: I wonder. Lauren gets up and goes into the house looking for Vaughn. [SCENE_BREAK] In the Study VAUGHN: (comm) One more page. MARSHALL: (comm) Okay, should be another 30 seconds. Something happens to Marshall's map. MARSHALL: Oops. SYDNEY: Whoops? What do you mean whoops? MARSHALL: Sensor picked up a new EM reading. I think there's somebody else in the house. SYDNEY: (comm) Vaughn, someone is coming. VAUGHN: (comm) I'm almost done. The Cow arrives. [SCENE_BREAK] LAUREN: Sweetheart, what are you doing in here? VAUGHN: Looking at our wedding pictures. I remembered your parents kept them here. Remember that day? I'll go get your sweater. LAUREN: That was the happiest day of my life. VAUGHN: Mine too. LAUREN: I want to be that happy again. What can I do to make that happen? VAUGHN: That's a start. LAUREN: Really? Marshall raises his eyebrows and looks at Sydney. Cut back to Lauren and Vaughn, who start making out. Uh oh. [SCENE_BREAK] MARSHALL: I'm sure that's not what it sounds like. Not that it sounds like anything because you know there isn't any sound. There's probably really not ... sound... sorry... The sounds continue. SYDNEY: Turn it off. Comms are turned off, and Sydney walks out. Marshall mutters to himself... MARSHALL: ...bad idea to keep it on in the first place. [SCENE_BREAK] Conference Room [SCENE_BREAK] DIXON: Using the real code key, Marshall was able to decipher the documents Vaughn retrieved from Mrs. Reed. They detail a Rambaldi artifact known as the Hourglass. JACK: It turns out the Hourglass was only recently sold at auction to a man named Masa Raidon. VAUGHN: The guy running yakuza's U.S. shipping business out of San Pedro? MARSHALL: Yes. Now, Raidon owns a building in Little Tokyo, yakuza's stronghold. He's got a nightclub on the ground floor. You might want to stop by, have a little... and there's a personal art gallery on sub-level 2. That's where he's holding the hourglass. But you're going to have to move quickly. SYDNEY: Why is that? MARSHALL: Well, according to Rambaldi's manuscript, the Hourglass will only reveal the location of the Passenger to one man. Her father. SYDNEY: Sloane. VAUGHN: And he's going to be dead in six hours. [SCENE_BREAK] Rotunda Corner SYDNEY: This is impossible. JACK: Justice has been apprised of Sloane's value in this regard. They refused to stay the execution. SYDNEY: If Sloane dies, any chance I have of finding my sister dies with him. JACK: Has it occurred to you that your half-sister might be a danger to you? SYDNEY: Yes of course. But it's equally possible that I can help her. She could be an innocent victim. JACK: With Irina Derevko and Arvin Sloane as her parents, I don't think so. SYDNEY: I requested to look at Senator Reed's personal effects, every notebook, memo, receipt. I know the Trust exists. Dad, are you really so bitter that you would sacrifice my sister in order to get payback for a 25-year-old affair? JACK: Sloane deserves to die. SYDNEY: Yes he does, but not for this. JACK: The director of legal policy at Justice has operational control over Sloane's case. He's coming to oversee the execution. I'll turn over the information I have on the Trust as soon as he arrives. That should exonerate Sloane. Coldly... SYDNEY: Thank you. JACK: Sydney... JACK: What exactly did you find in the Senator's effects? SYDNEY: Nothing. I requested them, but they haven't arrived. Now I don't have to look. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Nightclub VAUGHN: Looks like the west stairwell is your most direct access to the sub-levels. SYDNEY: What about countermeasures? VAUGHN: Best we can tell, it's only the guards, but we haven't had a chance to do a thorough scan. Sort of... working on the fly. VAUGHN: Listen, about what happened in Richmond... SYDNEY: You were doing your job. And she is your wife. VAUGHN: Not for long. [SCENE_BREAK] Rotunda Jack's looking over the file on the Trust he's prepared to give the person from the DOJ. DIXON: Jack, I want you to meet Marlin Bell. He runs legal policy at Justice. JACK: Good to meet you. BELL: I was telling the Director how pleased I am you caught Sloane. Since my signature was on the pardon agreement I was embarrassed and relieved and, if you don't mind my saying so, looking forward to seeing the son of a b*** die. DIXON: Excuse us. Jack looks conflicted or mad or perhaps worried, and he puts the file in a desk drawer. [SCENE_BREAK] Sloane's Cell Jack arrives with some champagne. SLOANE: You're not going to help me. Jack starts pouring the champagne. JACK: In April '75, in Saigon, you toasted Sydney's birth with a bottle of Chambertin Clos de Beze, your favorite. Now that I know you have a daughter, I thought I should return the honor, especially considering they both have the same mother. SLOANE: Irina betrayed both of us, Jack. She sought me out for information the same way she did you. JACK: She was my wife. SLOANE: She was a KGB spy who cared nothing about you or me. I've always thought that you understood your relationship with Irina was nothing more than that. But now that your schoolboy crush on the woman who destroyed your life is preventing you from saving mine, I will have to revise that assessment. [SCENE_BREAK] JACK: Irina Derevko affected your life every bit as much as she affected mine. I knew the possibility existed that Sydney would be drawn into our world, but I often wondered why you were the one who sought her out, why you showed such paternal affection toward her. JACK: Now I know. You did it because you were angry and jealous and wanted to take away the one thing that was important to both Irina and me, the symbol of what we had and you didn't: Sydney. JACK: You're right. I'm not going to help you. Since this is the last conversation we will ever have, I want to make this perfectly clear. What you have done to my daughter is nothing compared to what I will do when I find yours. Salut. Jack toasts. [SCENE_BREAK] Sloane's Cell A goon comes in to give Sloane a message, which is... GOON: Half an hour. [SCENE_BREAK] Nightclub [SCENE_BREAK] Sydney and Vaughn need to get her past a bouncer. SYDNEY: I'm on the list. BOUNCER: Everyone's on the list. SYDNEY: My friends are waiting for me inside! BOUNCER: Wait your turn, until then stop talking. Vaughn tries to sneak past the bouncer. BOUNCER: Get back in line. Which diverts the bouncer's attention. Sydney slips past the bouncer. VAUGHN: Hey, lay off the suit, man. BOUNCER: Why don't you find your way home? VAUGHN: Oh, is that right? You're a big tough guy now, living a dream? BOUNCER: You want to see what I'm dreaming? VAUGHN: All right. Take it easy, you win. [SCENE_BREAK] Hallway to the Execution Chamber. DIXON: I pray for you. I pray your soul can find peace in the next life. SLOANE: That's very kind, Marcus. GOON: Let's go. Jack's standing in the hallway. Sloane slows, then walks around him without saying anything. [SCENE_BREAK] Nightclub Stairs SYDNEY: (comm) I'm heading down. VAUGHN: (comm) Copy that, Mountaineer. You're all clear. Sydney puts an electronic lock gadget on the door to the room. SYDNEY: (comm) Marshall, work your magic. MARSHALL: (comm) No problem. I should have it open for you in... right now. [SCENE_BREAK] Sloane walks into the execution chamber. DIXON: Lauren, this is restricted access. LAUREN: I cleared it with Justice. I had no intention of missing the execution of this traitor. [SCENE_BREAK] The "Art Gallery" Room SYDNEY: (comm) Marshall, we have a problem. MARSHALL: (comm) Copy that, Mountaineer. What's the problem? SYDNEY: (comm) Motion sensor. It's on a random sweep. VAUGHN: (comm) That wasn't on the schematics. MARSHALL: (comm) Must be a secondary protocol. SYDNEY: (comm) I've located the hourglass. Can you disarm the sensor remotely? MARSHALL: (comm) I'm trying. There are a lot of dummy codes. I have to extrapolate each one. I've never seen a system like this. SYDNEY: (comm) Is there a repeating prefix in the majority of the codes? MARSHALL: (comm) 8686. SYDNEY: (comm) It's an anchor-type design. Grab Dixon. He spec'd out a similar system for a mission in Honduras. He'll know what the back-door is. MARSHALL: (comm) Dixon? I can't. He's downstairs. He's witnessing Mr. Sloane's execution. SYDNEY: (comm) The execution is going forward? MARSHALL: (comm) Yeah, at midnight. I thought... you know, for some reason, it makes me incredibly sad. I feel like you're the only person I can talk to about this. SYDNEY: (comm) Marshall, kill the grid now! MARSHALL: (comm) Right, sorry. Talk later. [SCENE_BREAK] Execution Chamber BELL: Do you have any final words? SLOANE: I do. SLOANE: For you who pay witness, I can only believe there is a common thought amongst you all: "This is as it should be." I do not disagree. SLOANE: My only request: That if my daughter is in fact found alive, that she understand my actions, she understand that this day's events are the net result of her father's passion to find her, to know her, to love her. His execution begins. So does Deftones' "Change." [SCENE_BREAK] Nighclub "Art Gallery" Vault SYDNEY: (comm) We can't wait any longer. I'm going in. MARSHALL: (comm) Stand down, Mountaineer. I'm almost there. Sydney's not waiting. VAUGHN: (comm) Raidon's security detail is two dozen strong... That's okay, because Sydney has two scorpion submachine guns under her coat. Vaughn takes off his headset and goes in after her. [SCENE_BREAK] Sloane's dying. [SCENE_BREAK] Sydney kills most of the security guards, Vaughn kills the last one, with Sydney waiting around a corner and out of ammo, apparently ready to smash the guard's face in with the grip. [SCENE_BREAK] Meanwhile, there are repeated cuts between Sloane's execution and Sydney's fighting. Sloane's flatlined. The doctors check Sloane for a heartbeat. [SCENE_BREAK] Execution Room Hallway. Sydney walks up carrying the Hourglass. JACK: Sydney... SYDNEY: Don't. There's nothing you can say. [SCENE_BREAK] Rotunda LAUREN: (cell) Sloane is dead. We can now locate the Passenger without his interference. OLIVIA: (cell) Not quite. The code key you retrieved from the CIA is unusable. I can only assume that was deliberate on their part. Vaughn played you. He's likely to try again, but that will be his last mistake. [SCENE_BREAK] Morgue Jack's in the morgue. Where else would he be? He injects Sloane with something. Sloane comes back to life. JACK: I'm surprised you didn't get the reference. Modified ? (sounds like a toxin family) cocktail with tetrodotoxin presented in a bottle of Chambertin Clos de Beze, just like we used in Saigon. JACK: But understand this was not done out of compassion. I orchestrated this because, and only because, I need you.	Plan: A: The Covenant, Vaughn; Q: Who is Lauren working for? A: a happy marriage; Q: What is Vaughn told to keep up the facade of? A: his wife's activities; Q: What is Vaughn told to keep tabs on? A: a shock; Q: What does Vaughn experience when he discovers the truth about Lauren's mother? A: Olivia; Q: Who is Lauren's mother? A: Jack; Q: Who refuses to help exonerate Sloane of his crimes? A: execution; Q: What does Sloane face if he is found guilty? A: a monk; Q: Who tells Sydney the identity of the Rambaldi "Passenger"? Summary: After finding out that Lauren is working for The Covenant, Vaughn is told to keep up the façade of a happy marriage in order to keep tabs on his wife's activities. But he's in for a shock when he uncovers the truth about Lauren's mother, Olivia. Meanwhile, Jack refuses to help exonerate Sloane of his crimes and put in motion a stay of execution, and a monk discloses the identity of the Rambaldi "Passenger" to Sydney.
Opening scene - The pool house at night - Marissa is lying on the bed breathing heavily looking up, Ryan moves into the shot and moves down and kisses her. they begin to heavily make out. Marissa: (Ryan kisses her neck) Ticklish Ryan: (whispers) sorry (he slowly moves his hand to go up her top, she stops him with her hand) Marissa: hey, what time do you have? Ryan: (still kissing her) mmm almost eleven, what time do you have to get back at your dads Marissa: (smiling) mmm soon Ryan: (mumbles while kissing her) how soon Marissa: (laughs) now (they kiss a bit more then Marissa sits up and slides to the end of the bed, beginning to put her shoes on) Ryan: (grabs her arm) you can't call (almost kissing again) say you'll be late (they kiss again, Ryan grabs her shoes out of her hands and holds them up) Marissa: I'm already late! (Ryan falls back on the bed with her shoes, holding them either side of his head) it's a school night (laughing, she moves on top of Ryan and lays on his chest) Ryan: it's to bad you don't still live next door Marissa: (lays her head on his chest) yeah but then I'd have to talk to my mom Ryan: (stroking her head) you haven't talked to her Marissa: (sighs) no...she keeps tryin a call me but there's absolutely no way that I'll Ryan: hey Marissa: sorry Ryan:...maybe this weekend we could spend a whole night together (Marissa raises her head to look at him) you know we could go out, we could ah do something, finally have our first official date, no school, no parents, just us Marissa: (huge smile) Saturday night (they start kissing again, there is a knock at the door) Kirsten: (opens the door) Hey Ryan Sandy's stuck at the ahhh ooh my (she sees Ryan and Marissa making out) god I'm-I'm so sorry Marissa: Hey...Kirsten Kirsten: Hey Marissa I-I didn't know that you had uh-uh-g uh company Marissa: yeah well um I was just-gonna go (to Ryan) so uh see ya Ryan: (waves) bye Marissa: g'night (leaves) Kirsten: drive safely...its never happened with Seth Theme Song - California by Phantom Planet Cohen house the next morning - Kirsten & Sandy are in the kitchen Sandy: you walked in on em Kirsten: well at least I knocked Sandy: Ryan & Marissa Cooper, I knew it, didn't I tell ya Kirsten: no Sandy: no? Kirsten: Sandy... maybe you should...talk to him Sandy: about what Kirsten: y'know sx Sandy: ohh, sounds like Ryan knows what he's doin Kirsten: I mean sx in the house Sandy: right, cause we obviously don't believe in that Kirsten: we don't? Sandy: well based on my recent experience or lack thereof I, I'd have to say no, no we don't Kirsten: hey I'm not the one that is coming home from the office at midnight Sandy: oh, your comin home at 11:45 Kirsten: well I might be coming home earlier if your firm wasn't suing my company Sandy: well look, maybe we'll get lucky and settle at the conference tomorrow Kirsten: (grinning) maybe, we'll get lucky tonight Sandy: ooooh I'd settle for that...what time Kirsten: how bout 8 Sandy: eeh Kirsten: 9? Sandy: 9:30? Kirsten: if you are not home by ten o'clock Sandy: yeah Kirsten: I'm gonna start without you Sandy: ooh (they kiss) (Ryan walks in) Ryan: morning Kirsten: (clears throat) hi Sandy: we're all very proud Ryan: uh, thanks, and sorry, I just wanted to say sorry, about last night (Seth walks in) Seth: sorry about what man what'd I miss? who'd ya hurt? Kirsten: (whispering to Sandy) maybe you should talk to him Ryan: I just appreciate you guys being so cool about everything Seth: Ryan, Ryan cool about what Sandy: (to Kirsten) so, ill see you tonight Ryan: (to Seth) we should get goin to (Ryan & Sandy have left) Seth: wait, hang on I'm not goin anywhere until somebody tells me what happened last night, mom would you please fill me in (Kirsten leaves) MOM i, oh I get it, I'm just here for the comic relief CUT TO: Harbor school - Ryan and Seth are walking Seth: so what exactly did my mom catch you guys doing? Ryan: nothing Seth: nothing huh, so you guys haven't (makes motions with his hands) Ryan: no, we haven't even had our first date yet Seth: last night doesn't count Ryan: nah, we're goin out Saturday night Seth: good, great...but you-you have before right (Ryan gives him a look) okay, wow that's what I thought I just didn't want to jump to conclusions because my experience is sorta limited (pause) and Ryan: and what Seth: was it awe-some Ryan: which time? Seth: ah (stunned) there were -there were uh I don't know, uh how many-how many times were there Ryan: same girl or different girl? Seth: (mouth open) there were...different girls, how many-how many different girls w-were there (Ryan begins to work it out) I have to sit down CUT TO: Summer & Marissa walking Summer: so, what happened, I want details Marissa: nothing happened Summer: what's his problem? Marissa: there is no problem, I just don't know if I'm ready yet Summer: but Luke already took care of that awkward painful part Marissa: yeah and look how well that turned out. Look Ryan and I, we're still getting to know each other. I mean we're going on our first date Saturday Summer: well that should be romantic, sorry Coop, it's just what does Chino know about a date. where he's from they don't even have a pf chenks (?) CUT BACK TO: Seth & Ryan talking Seth: So when you lost your virginity I was -I was playing magic gathering Ryan: you...still play magic Seth: yeah but not as much (Marissa & Summer walk over to them) Marissa: hey Seth: hey Marissa: what're you guys talking about? Seth: nothing. Ryan was just telling me about your-your big date, he's got a whole thing happening, it sounds amazing Marissa: wow, there's a whole thing happening (Ryan looks confused) Seth: yeah, but shhh it's a suprise. its gonna be the best date ever, okay I have to go. Summer walk me to bio Summer: I can walk myself Seth: great then you can walk me to (they leave) Marissa: (huge smile) best date ever huh (kisses Ryan on the cheek) CUT TO: Sandy & Rachel Rachel: (on a computer) the ecological risk assessment backs up our claim that the land Caleb Nichol is planning to develop should be considered as wetlands Sandy: ahh great-great we'll get into that tomorrow Rachel: whad'ya got tonight a hot date Sandy: yeah Rachel: Sandy Cohen you are cheating on me, with your wife Sandy: I'm tryin Rachel: what is it, your anniversary? Sandy: uh oh jus, y'know we haven't seen each other in a while so y'know we thought that we'd uh Rachel: go on a date, why not, good idea, after all it's not like we have our big settlement conference tomorrow, where the fate of orange county's environment hangs in the balance Sandy: alright, a date'll even be better after the conference. less stress CUT TO: Kirsten at the Newport group Kirsten: Dad good news, ohh I'm sorry I didn't know you (sees Julie with Caleb) JULIE (suprised) Julie: Kirsten, you're father and I were just talking about you (kisses Kirsten on the cheek) this man just single handedly saved the children's hospital benefit Caleb: I did no such thing Julie: oh, he's so modest. I had just lost the Buckley yacht when he graciously agreed to let me host the event on his Kirsten: the man just gives and gives hm. I-I didn't know that you were organising the children's hospital benefit Julie: well, I wasn't going to but then I thought its time I stopped dwelling on my own problems and got back to focusing on the needs of others, right (Kirsten fake smiles) so, must be off. Cal (kisses his cheek) I owe you big time. Bye Kirsten Julie: Bye Julie Caleb: hmm she is something, isn't she Kirsten: she's that! you know you are now the official sponsor of the Julie Cooper come back tour Caleb: it's for charity, besides after all the bad press her husbands been getting. this can't hurt the company to be involved in a good cause. so what was your good news? Kirsten: we can have that working dinner after all Caleb: Sandy cancelled your date Kirsten: they have some last minute prep work to do on the meeting tomorrow Caleb: by they, you mean Sandy an Kirsten: Rachel, yes Caleb: and you say she's attractive Kirsten: DAD Caleb: and he got in at midnight last night Kirsten: I trust him! Caleb: oh, well you know what they say; the only man a girl should trust is her father Kirsten: they're working together, that's all...I suggest we do the same, ill see you later CUT TO: Harbor school - Ryan, Seth & Anna are eating lunch Anna: I don't understand why you just don't take her to dinner an a movie, it's a classic combination Ryan: because somebody promised her the best date ever Seth: Ryan, I went ahead an I did a little recon on your behalf I was extremely stealth and I spoke to Summer, okay, an I asked her what would Marissa wanna do on a date, what would she really enjoy and she told me...she didn't know Anna: (sarcastic) how helpful! Seth: BUT Summers three favourite activities are shopping tanning and waxing, maybe there's something there man, they're best friends, use that Anna: and here I thought Summer was superficial Ryan: I have no car no money, whatever I do it's just gonna disappoint her Anna: what'd you usually do on dates? Ryan: I've never actually been on one Seth: hey hey I thought you; you just told me that you had... Ryan: yeah, yeah I've hung out with girls, we just never really...went-out Seth: Oh, got it! Ryan: yeah I'm gonna oh ah go to class Seth: I'll keep workin on it Ryan: yeah, you've done enough Anna: Bye (to Seth) come on (they are now walking) Summer: hey what do you think Summers three favourite movies are? Anna: um battle ship tempkin (?) seventh seal and shore, definitely Seth: what Anna: could we just like not talk about Summer for five minutes, we talk about her all the time Seth: no we don't, we don't we talk about all sorts of things all the time, we talk about music, we talk about sailing, what Anna: Right about how you named your boat after her how you made her a burned CD with all your favourite songs with the word summer in it Seth: Wow, I'm sorry I was under the impression that we were friends who I don't know talk about our-our thoughts and stuff Anna: we are, so I guess... you're finally hearing some of mine...I'm gonna go back for desert CUT TO: Jimmy's house - Marissa walks through the door Marissa: Hey dad, I'm (turns around and sees her mom on the sofa) home Julie: Hi sweetie Marissa: what're you doing here? Jimmy: your mother was in the neighbourhood and she thought she'd uh stop by and see how we're doin Marissa: how are we doing, mom Jimmy: Marissa why don't you come over here and -and talk to us okay, come on over and sit down (she does but doesn't look happy about it) Julie: I'm throwing a party. I'm hosting the children's hospital benefit this Saturday, they're trying to build a new wing for the children...and I would love it if you could both be there. your fathers already agreed Marissa: No, no way Julie: Marissa, honey. this party is a chance for us to show the community that we still belong, that we're still a family. yes we've suffered some set backs your fathers business in particular, but its important for us to let everybody know the Cooper family is back Marissa: why do you care what other people think? Jimmy: look Marissa no one has fewer nice things to say about your mother then me, (to Julie) no offence, but she's been pouring her heart out to me and I think you're gonna wanna hear what she has to say Julie: Marissa, I am so sorry... for the way I handled things at the hospital (sincerely) I was scared... and I was wrong, everything I cared about was falling apart and I was blaming everybody but myself...I just want us to feel like a family again. now I know it's gonna take some time and I'm gonna need your help, will you help me (holds hand out to Marissa, Marissa takes it) CUT TO: the pool house -night - Ryan is on a laptop and there is a knock Ryan: wow knocking, IT'S OPEN (Marissa comes in) Marisa: (sighs) bad news, I know you had Saturday night all planned but something's come up Ryan: oh, that sucks (looking relieved, lol) Marissa: we're gonna be spending a romantic night on a yacht for this charity even hosted by...my mom Ryan: your mom-your mom hates me Marissa: no. no she doesn't hate you she just doesn't know you, but now she'll have her chance Ryan: bu, we had a date Saturday night, I mean there was a whole thing happening Marissa: I know but my mom came by today and apologised to me and my dad and it seems like she's changed...hey if my parents got back together and my dad found a new job, then my life could go back to normal again Ryan: well maybe I should stay away for a little while give you guys Marissa: look first date stuff, candy flowers that's easy Ryan: candy, flowers right (Marissa holds his face) Marissa: (smiling) but its times like these when a girl needs her boyfriend the most Ryan: (stunned) boyfriend Marissa: well, I mean, aren't we Ryan: (smiling) I-I-I guess, I've just never been a boyfriend before Marissa: but you've had girlfriends Ryan: yeah, no not girlfriends just girls, you know, I've (Marissa looks at him) your mom, Saturday night, cant wait! Marissa: great! (kisses his cheek) CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - the next morning, Seth is talking to the house keeper Seth: the fact is yes I admit it I occasionally talk about Summer, maybe I even talk about her to much but it's not really the point is it (the house keeper looks at him as if he's crazy and walks off, Ryan comes in) Seth: hey. so get this uh Anna thinks all I ever do is talk about Summer...I mean that's crazy right Ryan: you want me to lie Seth: I'm that guy. (Ryan looks at him) dude how can I be that guy, I hate that guy. well then no wonder Summer doesn't have any interest in me cause apparently all I do is I talk about Summer, although you'd think she'd like that Ryan: (swallows juice) you're doing it again Seth: right CUT TO: Kirsten is in the backyard, Sandy sits next to her Sandy: I'm sorry I had to cancel our date last night Kirsten: what time did you get home? Sandy: almost two Kirsten: hm what was the last minute crisis? Sandy: as opposing council you know I'm not at liberty to say Kirsten: is Rachel's boyfriend as understanding as I am Sandy: Rachel doesn't have a boyfriend Kirsten: mmm, go figure. you know some people who don't like their life, make work their life Sandy: well that's not me. an ill tell you this if our settlement conference goes well today, I could be home by six Kirsten: is that a bribe councilor (they kiss just as Ryan is going back to the pool house) Sandy: hey (Ryan smiles, waves and goes inside) Kirsten: did you have the talk Sandy: nah, I like to lead by example (kisses her, she laughs) CUT TO: Harbor school - Ryan & Seth are walking in the corridor Seth: you and Julie Cooper trapped on a boat huh Ryan: yeah Seth: can't wait to see how that one goes Ryan: I don't really have a choice, since she's my girlfriend Seth: what, girlfriend. I thought that you didn't do girlfriends, I mean you did em (motions with his hands) but you, you know what I'm sayin Ryan: I don't, and this is not a good way to start, at least you'll be there Seth: no I won't, who would I bring I can't take Summer or.. I could do you think she would go, I don't know (Ryan looks at him) I'm doing it again Ryan: or you know who you could ask (they both watch Anna who is at her locker) Seth: I could take a friend, interesting (walks over to Anna) Okay I'm never gonna mention Summers name to you again, except for that. from now on all you and I are gonna discuss are things that we both have in common like how do you feel about Newport charity events huh Anna: I hate them Seth: me too, so what'd ya say you come with me to one we'll hang out and we'll just quietly mock people Anna: is Summer gonna be there? Seth: I don't know, who cares. if anything happens between me and Summer you will not hear about it from me, okay I promise, on our friendship Anna: (smiling) kay CUT TO: Sandy, Caleb, Kirsten & Rachel in the meeting for the balboa heights. Sandy & Rachel are on one side of the table, and Caleb & Kirsten are on the opposite side Rachel: obviously the US fish and wildlife services ecological risk assessment asserts that the land adjacent to the wetlands should be considered wetlands as well Caleb: well, why stop there councilor, why not include the land adjacent to the land adjacent to the wetlands Rachel: Mr. Nichol I'm sure your attourney here has already explained that it's only a matter of time before the state acquires the land by eminent domain Kirsten: It took the state five years to purchase the Balboa wetlands Caleb: let's...cut to the chase shall we, how much is the land trust offering me for Balboa heights (Sandy writes down a figure and slides it over to Caleb) Caleb: Mr. Cohen I was beginning to wonder about your involvement in all of this (he looks at the figure) thankyou all for coming (gets up from his seat) this meeting is adjourned Kirsten: where are you going? Caleb: well, I mean THATS it, that's your whole dog and pony show...I'm disappointed, what have you two been doing (Sandy looks confused) I mean Kiki tells me that you've been in the office alone (Kirsten looks angry) together every night till, two in the morning? Rachel: feel free to counter Mr. Nichol Caleb: (to Sandy) why is she doing all the talking? are you just here to ensure that your firm makes the early edition again...father and son in-law fight for the heights Sandy: I gotta tell ya Cal I've dealt with alot a shady characters in my line of work but I've never seen anyone stoop as low as you...you'll poison anything, the air, the water, even your daughters marriage as long as you profit Caleb: you've ben living off my profits Sandy: if you think I'm bought and paid for (packs up, stands up and puts his briefcase on the desk) you just wait till I get ya on the stand, don't let my silence here mislead ya, I'm takin you down.(to Kirsten) councilor (Rachel follows Sandy out, Kirsten looks shocked/annoyed) Caleb: (to Kirsten) I think I hit a nerve (Kirsten just sits there) CUT TO: Julie's house - Marissa is in her room looking for something to wear Saturday. Ryan is with her. Marissa: I forgot I had this dress Ryan: it happens to me all the time (falling back on the bed) Marissa: my mom bought it for me...seems appropriate Ryan: you know...I think your mom would understand if you told her you didn't wanna do this Marissa: except I do (sits down with him) Ryan: right...that's what I meant, uhhh Marissa this event is important and on a yacht and whenever I go to one of these things somebody (Marissa is smiling) gets into a fight Marissa: you're gonna be fine (leans forward to kiss him) (knocking on the door) Julie: Ryan! hi...oooh it's so nice to see you in your room again, you could sleep here tonight if you want Marissa: uh, it's ok...but thanks Julie: just...thought id ask (sees the dress in Marissa hands) oooh I love this dress! you remember when we bought it (laughs) we had that amazing lunch in Beverly Hills (to Ryan) we saw Catherine Zeta Jones Marissa: yeah, I remember Julie: so much fun (smiling from the memory)...well we should get to the ship and help out uh honey will you check and see if Caitlyn's ready (Marissa looks at Ryan) Marissa: uhh ok, sure (leaves) Julie: so uh I know that you and I haven't always seen eye to eye...but I wanna say that I'm sorry, you've ben there for Marissa you really care about her I see that now and I'm hoping that this party will be a chance for us to start fresh, celebration of a new beginning hmm? (Ryan looks confused/unsure) Ryan: I don't really like boats (half smiles) Julie: (sincerely) please Ryan: ...ok (smiles) Julie: thankyou (hugs Ryan) (Marissa comes back) Marissa: Hey (sees them hugging and smiles) Julie: well let's get to the boat huh. come on (leaves) (Marissa smiles at Ryan as he walks passed her) CUT TO: Harbor school - Seth & Anna are walking Seth: I can't believe the lit mag won't publish my limericks, that's censorship Anna: awwww (pats him on the arm) Seth: its censorship! Anna: (laughs) I'll organise a protest immediately Seth: fine, something involving a bra burning please Anna: ewwww (Summer is behind them) Summer: COHEN! Seth: hey, what're you still doin here Summer: detention Seth: ah, you live a hard life Summer Summer: there was a Paul Frank sale I figured that's more important than the fall of the Ming dynasty, I mean what am I spose to learn. that opium is gnarly (Seth smiles) Anna: right because there is no lesson there Summer: are you even making fun of me cause I can't tell Anna: oh, most of the time Summer, you do my job for me! (Seth tries not to laugh) Summer: again, not tracking uh (confused) (Anna rolls her eyes) Summer: so Cohen I was wondering if you could catch me up in history tomorrow Seth: ah I-I can't until Sunday...I have a...charity thing tomorrow Summer: the thing for the children's hospital Seth: yeah Summer: (suprised) you're going to that Seth: ah we both are (motions to Anna) Anna: mm hmm Summer: (looks hurt) you and her Seth: me and Anna Anna: which...is my name by the way Summer: I'm going to Seth: hey, well alright then ill see you there Summer: infact I'm going with him (walks between Seth and Anna purposely bumping her) CHIP! hey (grabs his hand and walks off with him) Seth: huh, she's going with him (Anna gives him a look) I don't care CUT TO: Cohen house at night - Kirsten & Ryan are in the kitchen, Sandy walks in Kirsten: hey there's pot roast in the um (motions) Sandy: I ate Kirsten: with Rachel? Sandy: (angry) what was that today? Kirsten: I'm sorry...he jus Sandy: if you have a problem with Rachel and me you should come to me Kirsten: Sandy your never here...who am I gonna talk to if I don't talk to my dad...Seth? Sandy: (upset) we're adults with demanding jobs you don't go runnin off to your daddy! if that's to hard then go give Jimmy a call Kirsten: (glaring) its so nice talking to you! (leaves) (Ryan is in the background with the trash) Sandy: don't ever get married (sighs) (walks over to him) so how's everything going with your um...relationship. which I need to talk to you about you know at some point Ryan: good I guess, good, it's just...hard Sandy: really. 17 years later... it doesn't get any easier (shrugs) Ryan: it's her mom really Sandy: in-laws Ryan: mm Sandy: well if you figure it out, (shakes head) let me know (they both smile, Sandy pats him on the shoulder) Ryan: (leaving) goodluck Sandy: (leaving) ugh, thankyou CUT TO: Ryan putting the trash out, he hears a car door then looks down and sees Caleb ringing Julie's door bell. Julie walks out and kisses him, then Caleb goes inside Julie looks up and sees Ryan watching. Julie looks worried then goes inside. Ryan pulls back so he can't be seen, he looks confused CUT TO: the pool house the next day - Marissa walks in the door, wearing the dress from earlier, Ryan is in a suit Marisa: hey Ryan: hi! (he walks over the bed to get to her quicker, instead of going around, he kisses her - aww) just got to uh...put on my good pair of shoes Marissa: I know this isn't exactly the date you had planned, but I really appreciate it. you couldn't have done better with my mom yesterday (Ryan's smile fades) she's like... a different person. who knows I mean maybe if everything goes well tonight then... (Ryan comes and sits next to her on the bed) (huge smile) I'm really happy! which never use to be an accomplishment...and not just about my parents Ryan: we're gonna be late [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: Cohen's front door, Seth opens it and Anna is there Seth: yo Anna: what up homes Seth: chillin Anna: aight (winks) (Seth motions with his head for her to come in, she walks passed him) Seth: what's that smell? Anna: perfume! Seth: smells like woodchips (Anna looks at him) in a rose garden...roses (Anna looks around) Anna: so...this is your crib, this is where all the magic happens Seth: well if by magic you're referring to the card game then sadly, yes Anna: you have a hot tub (motioning outside) Seth: mm hmm Anna: do you ever use it Seth: hot tubs for the hoes I usually hang in the grado (?) (Ryan & Marissa walk in) Marissa: hey guys Anna: hi Marissa: (to Ryan) so I'm just gonna run to the girl's room, it's down the hall right? Ryan: yeah Anna: I gotta go to (hands Seth her purse) Seth: right cause girls can't pee alone (Ryan looks at him) what its Anna I could'a said pop a squat in front of her if I wanted to Ryan: sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds Seth: well sometimes I do Ryan: (sighs) so Anna looks good Seth: mm, tonight should be fun, there's gonna be a raffle, the only thing more fun then a raffle is-is anything really (Kirsten comes in) Kirsten: you guys ready Seth: the girls are uh peeing Kirsten: Seth don't say pee Ryan: where's Sandy? Kirsten: don't ask CUT TO: Sandy & Rachel working on the case Sandy: question Rachel: hey (motions to food) early bird special Sandy: I'm gonna soldier on, try and get outta here at a decent hour Rachel: mm, right well not all of us have cocktail parties to go to on yachts (stretches back revealing her stomach) Sandy: (notices) right um...so Caleb won't sell no suprise there. onto plan B Rachel: what's plan B? Sandy: I'm workin on it Rachel: come to the floor Sandy, everything makes more sense on the floor. we have got padtai on the floor Sandy: we got work to do Rachel: which is why we must refuel Sandy: (considering) you got any dumplings (Rachel holds them up) I'm powerless before dumplings Rachel: go with gravity man (Sandy takes the dumplings and sits on the floor next to Rachel) CUT TO: The yacht - Marissa & Ryan are arriving, Julie & Jimmy greet them (At the same time) Julie: hi, your here Jimmy: hey Marissa: hey mom (hugs Julie) Jimmy: (shaking Ryan's hand) how're you doin? Ryan: good Marissa: hi Caity Ryan: hey Caitlyn Caitlyn: (cold) hi Ryan Julie: uh Caitlyn doesn't trust new people but Ryan is very trustworthy (smiles) Jimmy: (off screen) Marissa, sweetheart reverend Donahue wants to say hello (Ryan looks up and sees Caleb on the upper deck with some woman, Julie sees him looking) Marissa: (off screen) ok daddy Photographer: can I get a photo of the Cooper family (at the same time) Marissa: (off screen) totally, yes Jimmy: yeah that'd be great, come on let's do it. Jules? Julie: yes of course, Riviera magazine. it's very exciting (Julie is standing next to Marissa, Marissa is standing behind Caitlyn & Jimmy is on the other side of them) Julie: Ryan, why don't you join us? Ryan: no...it's for your family Photographer: say cheese Jimmy: oops...I didn't say cheese CUT TO: Kirsten & Caleb Caleb: (off screen) hey Kiki Kirsten: hey dad (kisses him on the cheek) Caleb: where's the sandman CUT TO: Seth & Anna Seth: those earrings are hypnotising me Anna: I know they're kinda makin me sea sick (pulls them out) Caleb: there he is, built like a pipe cleaner but lookin sharp Seth: hey (hugs him) uh same-same to you. I don't know what that means (Anna laughs) Caleb: (to Seth about Anna) and who's this little fire cracker Seth: ah, this is my date (Anna looks at him) my-my-my friend Anna Caleb: clearly she needs no introduction Anna: very nice to meet you sir (shakes his hand) Seth said you were scary but (Seth hits her with his elbow) I see an inner sweetness (Seth mouths 'I didnt say that') Caleb: I like your moxy (Anna laughs) Seth: mm suddenly I wanna (couldn't catch the rest) CUT TO: Summer & Chip Chip: the ocean is like, so vast, like endless, I feel so Summer: insignificant (Chip nods) go figure. you know I'm thirsty Chip: do you wanna go to the bar? Summer: yeah you can, yeah thanks (Chip leaves) (Summer watches Seth & Anna with Caleb & Kirsten) CUT TO: Inside the yacht, Ryan is getting a drink. Julie comes up to him Julie: (to the woman next to Ryan) excuse me - hi Ryan Ryan: good party Julie: thankyou...and thanks for not telling Marissa Ryan: she's pretty excited about you maybe getting back together with her dad...you may be ok with lying to Marissa, but not me Julie: (half smiles) this is my life, my daughter Ryan: my girlfriend Julie: Ryan...stay out of this. it's none of your business (Ryan walks away) CUT TO: Seth & Anna at the front of the yacht laughing Summer is watching them. Marissa walks up to Summer Marissa: hey, how goes it with Chip? Summer: oh, well he's suprised that the ocean is big, smoke another beer chip Marissa: wow, someone's in a good mood Summer: what is Seth Cohen doing with tinkerbell? she's from Pittsburgh that's like the 909 of the east Marissa: Anna's cool Summer: she's a little scammer, first thing she does is go after Caleb Nichols grandson, have you seen the way she looks at him Marissa: no but clearly you have Summer: well only because it's like totally obvious Marissa: (laughing) yes it is, that you're jealous. you like Seth Cohen Summer: eeewww no, come on Marissa: you like himmm, you like himmm Summer: stop it! Marissa: you loooooove him (laughing) Summer: stop. I do not like Seth Cohen. I mean I cant like Seth Cohen, he's like Seth Cohen Marissa: (walking away) well it's to bad, cause he likes you! (Summer watches Seth & Anna again) CUT TO: Ryan up the top, Marissa walks up to him, she's really happy Marissa: hey (leans on his shoulder) my parents are totally getting along. and if my dad could find a job soon then maybe I could be your neighbour again, I could sneak over whenever I wanted Ryan: your parents are weird, I wouldn't count on anything (Marissa's smile fades) Marissa: right, you wouldn't Ryan: what does that mean? Marissa: I'm just saying if you don't understand how important this is Ryan: I get it, I get it ok, to well, my mom, my dad Marissa: just because that happened to you doesn't mean it's gonna happen to me...my parents may get back together Ryan: no...they won't Marissa: why can't you just be happy for me? Ryan: ...your mom is seeing Caleb Nichol Marissa: what, what're you talking about Ryan: I saw them, together in front of your house (Marissa is clearly upset) I'm sorry (Marissa leaves) CUT TO: Sandy & Rachel still working Sandy: I think at this point we go to the state for proposition fifty funds and-and hope they've got a spare 200 million dollars in the budget Rachel: wait I have the budget here somewhere (leans forward to look for it, revealing her back) Sandy: (notices) oh its uh...official aly stuff Rachel: oh no you put it with the land trust documents (Rachel has her arm under Sandy's am which is stretching the opposite way, they both laugh and their faces are close) Sandy: feels like twister Rachel: (gasps) you know when I was in college that game got me in a lotta trouble Sandy: I could imagine (both laugh) Sandy: (sitting back) however you and I councilor are in enough trouble as it is Rachel: yeah, was it me or did your father in-law basically... accuse us of having an affair Sandy: yeah Rachel: yeah, where'd he get that idea right? I mean y'know we work together and (starting to move near him) we eat all our meals together and (on all fours facing Sandy moving closer) we talk on the phone when we cant actually be together (she is mere inches from his face, he doesn't say/do anything) Sandy: I got a boat to catch (Rachel sits next to him and watches him leave) CUT TO: The yacht now night - Seth & Anna are mocking people Seth: uh oooh goodness look at that piece right there, you know with this easterly breeze that toupee's gonna go over board Anna: well good thing his wife has surgically enhanced flotation devices (a shot of the bad toupee guy and his wife) because then she can jump in after it Seth: yeah there also fun to look at...uh hey if you can do me a favour and go tell that kid uh puberty started I don't-I don't think the pencil thin mustache is gonna make a come back anytime soon (pretend yells) hey dude embrace the razor already (Anna laughs) Anna: sounds like you're speaking from experience Seth: well, maybe when I was thirteen uh my nickname use to be magnum PI Anna: oh really Seth: yeah, mothers can be so cruel (Anna laughs more) Anna: hoh, god there are not people like this in Pittsburgh Seth: you must hate Newport Anna: I did, at first (turning to him) but now...it's growing on me (Anna leans in to kiss him, Seth panics) Seth: (puts his head down) are you um thirsty, at all because I'm a little bit parched and I was thinkin about getting us a couple a mountain dues...take the edge off Anna: (disappointed) sure Seth: ok, ill be right back (Anna watches him leave) Pan to: Summer & Chip near by Chip: wow, check it out (Summer sees Seth walk passed) Chip: it's like totally dark, but totally visual Summer: yeah, not understanding a word your saying. finish roaming (?) I'm gonna go get a drink (leaves) CUT TO: inside the yacht, Julie is making a speech Julie: uh excuse me I hate to interrupt ah just a moment of your time... (the crowd moves so you can see that Jimmy & Caitlyn are with her on one side, and Caleb on the other) Julie: uh I'm Julie Cooper the co-coordinator of this event (Marissa walks in) thankyou all so very much for coming, through your generous contributions we've raised almost two hundred thousand dollars for the children's hospital (Ryan comes in and stands with Marissa) (everyone claps) and don't forget its tax deductible (laughs) I also want to... CUT TO: Seth & Summer Seth: hey Summer: can we talk? (nudges him down the stairs) Seth: yeah uh o-o--o CUT TO: Julie's speech again (clapping) Julie: um I have to say that we could not have done any of this (Marissa looks um impressed) without the generous Ryan: (whispers to Marissa) let's just get outta here Marissa: so I should just leave and let her get away with this? Julie: let's give him a big hand Marissa: (to Ryan) is that what you would do? (clapping) CUT TO: Seth & Summer, she starts kissing him Summer: (stops) oh god...no Seth: (shocked) uh-uh-wh-wh-what's happening (Summer is just as shocked, she sits on the floor) Summer: (disbelievingly) I like Seth Cohen Seth: (sits next to her) uh you-you what now Summer: nothing! I wasn't talking to you, but if you tell anyone what you heard here. ill kill you (leaves) (Seth is confused about what just happened) CUT TO: Julie's speech again Julie: there's my beautiful daughter Marissa please, join us honey (clapping) come join us honey (Marissa walks up to stand with them) Julie: thankyou and now I'd like to ask my daughter Caitlyn to pick the winner of the romantic get-away raffle, Marissa would you like to announce the lucky couple Marissa: (taking the mic) thanks, and how bout another round of applause for my mom (clapping) and for Caleb Nichol (clapping) after all there work on behalf of the children's hospital...if anybody deserves a romantic get away for two,(looking at them) its my mom and Caleb Nichol (Julie & Caleb are stunned) I mean aren't they just the perfect couple, they've been keeping their romance a secret (close up of a shocked Jimmy) but tonight...the secrets out (hands back the mic to Julie) (Ryan looks proud of Marissa) Marissa: congratulations you guys (walks away) (close ups of Jimmy & Kirsten looking shocked) CUT TO: Marissa outside, she leans on the yacht, upset CUT TO: Julie etc Julie: (to Caitlyn) honey take this (hands her the mic, and the raffle winner) (to Jimmy) don't start with me Jimmy: hey after tonight I'm done with you, your-your Caleb's problem now (photographer takes a photo) Photographer: one more please Julie: excuse me (walks away) Caitlyn: and the winner of tonight's raffle is... Sandy & Kirsten Cohen (clapping) (Kirsten doesn't look thrilled to win) CUT TO: Marissa, Julie goes to her Julie: what the hell was that? Marissa: you lied to me! you said you wanted us to be a family again Julie: I do... and I was going to tell you but this is all so new and I know you've ben through so much. Marissa honey this whole party, this whole night was to show you that our life could be like it was, you could move back home we could be a family again Marissa: and what about dad? Julie: honey... I will always love your father... but because of what's he's done we have no future together Marissa: (serious) neither, do we! (Julie walks away) CUT TO: Seth & Anna walking Seth: wait ok, what? (Anna's laughing) Julie Cooper & my grandfather? Anna: ah huh Seth: well then do you know that if that worked out that -that'd mean Marissa would be like, she would be my aunt Anna: ooh, I can't believe you missed all the excitement, where have you ben? (holds his arm) Seth: I... find raffles to-to be extremely upsetting there's just too much suspense Anna: aww Seth: so I don't go (Anna laughs) (a shot of Summer making a shhh, and throat sign to Seth below) CUT TO: Kirsten & Caleb Kirsten: I trusted you I-I told you things about my life and my marriage and you used them against me...and you tell me nothing about you Caleb: (sighs) well if this is the way your gonna react...do you blame me? Kirsten: (serious) no, infact outside the office from now on, we have nothing to say to each other (walks away then turns back) oh, and good luck with your new girlfriend, your gonna need it (Sandy is behind her) Sandy: I'm here Kirsten: we're leaving Sandy: huh, wh but I wore a jacket CUT TO: Marissa upset, Ryan comes over Ryan: think this parties over (Marissa nods) want me to take you back to your dads? Marissa: (smiles) I think I'm ready for our first date Ryan: I think...we're way passed that now CUT TO: Cohen's house - Sandy & Kirsten's bedroom Sandy: huh, so in theory... Julie Cooper could eventually become your step mother (fascinated) Kirsten: don't - even - say it Sandy: I-I-I'm late to one event I miss everything Kirsten: well not everything...we won the raffle...a romantic get away for two...if you can get away from the office Sandy: oh yeah, no it'll be good for us, you know spend a little time alone (grabs her from behind) Kirsten: mmm glad to hear it Sandy: so what're you doin now Kirsten: (turns around to face him) you! (kisses him) Sandy: mm glad to hear it (they continue to kiss) CUT TO: the pool house. you see clothes on the floor, hear heavy breathing then pan to feet/legs intertwined. gradually moves up to show Ryan lying on top of Marissa. they are making out Ryan: this a pretty good date? Marissa: yeah I just wish it didn't have to end Ryan: it doesn't (kissing) spend the night (kissing) you know we, don't have to do anything, we could uh sleep (they are both on their sides facing each other) Marissa: really, Sandy & Kirsten are cool with that Ryan: well we haven't had the talk yet so (Marissa laughs) do you snore? Marissa: no...well I don't think so, I've never actually slept with someone before Ryan: yeah me neither, I'm usually climbin out the window or back into the front seat Marissa: hoh, ok enough sharing Ryan: yeah, goodnight (kisses her, then leans over to turn out the light, Marissa gets on top of him as he does so) Ryan: I thought you said you wanted to sleep Marissa: suddenly not so tired (kisses him) best (kiss) date (kiss) ever (they both smile, scenes of them kissing, then the outside of the pool house. fade out)	Plan: A: Kirsten; Q: Who is worried about Sandy's relationship with Rachel? A: Rachel; Q: Who is Sandy's professional relationship with? A: their private relationship; Q: What does Marissa out at a charity event? A: a charity event; Q: Where did Marissa find out about Caleb and Julie's relationship? A: Summer; Q: Who tells Seth how she feels? Summary: Kirsten becomes worried about Sandy's professional relationship with Rachel. Ryan spots Caleb and Julie together, and becomes responsible for Marissa outing their private relationship at a charity event. Summer tells Seth how she feels.
Scene: The apartment, Leonard is attaching something to a lamp. Leonard: Okay, the X10s are online. Howard: Gentlemen, I am now about to send a signal from this laptop through our local ISP, racing down fibre-optic cable at the speed of light to San Francisco, bouncing off a satellite in geosynchronous orbit to Lisbon, Portugal, where the data packets will be handed off to submerged transatlantic cables terminating in Halifax, Nova-Scotia, and transferred across the continent via microwave relays back to our ISP and the X10 receiver attached to this (clicks mouse, lamp switches on) lamp. (The others cheer and clap). Sheldon: Look at me, look at me, I've got goosebumps. Howard: Are we ready on the stereo? Raj: Go for stereo. (Howard clicks mouse again. Also Sprach Zarathustra begins to play. At the climactic notes, the four jump in the air and begin pretend conducting or jumping about in time to the music.) Penny (entering): Hey guys. All (calming down, embarrassed): Hello. Penny: It's a little loud. Howard: No problem, turning it down. (Using mouse again) San Francisco, Lisbon, Halifax (the music gets quieter) et voila. Penny: Okay, thanks. Leonard: Hang on, hang on, do you not realise what we just did. Penny: Yeah, you turned your stereo down with your laptop. Sheldon: No, we turned our stereo down by sending a signal around the world via the internet. Penny: Oh. You know you can just get one of those universal remotes at Radio Shack, they're really cheap. Leonard: No, no, no, you don't get it, um, Howard, enable public access. Howard: Public access enabled. (They all stare around for a moment in silence.) Penny: Boy, that's brilliant, but I'll see you. Leonard: No, hang on, hang on. (The lamp goes off and on again.) See! Penny: No. Sheldon: Someone in Sezchuan province, China is using his computer to turn our lights on and off. Penny: Huh, well that's handy. Um, here's a question, why? All together: Because we can. (There is a loud noise) Sheldon: They found the remote controlled cars. Penny: Well, wait, wait, what's on top of them. Leonard: Wireless webcams, wave hello. Howard: The monster truck is out of Austin, Texas, and the blue Viper is being operated from suburban Tel Aviv. Sheldon: You may want to put on slacks. Penny: What? (Seeing red car is trying to get between her legs) Ew, stop it, no, leave me alone. Leonard: Who's running the red Corvette? Howard: That would be me. Credits sequence Scene: The same, clearing up. Sheldon: You know, in the future, when we're disembodied brains in jars, we're going to look back on this as eight hours well wasted. Raj: I don't want to be in a jar. I want my brain in an android body. Eight feet tall and ripped. Howard: I'm with you. I just have to make sure if I'm a synthetic human I'd still be Jewish. I promised my mother. Raj: I suppose you could have your android pen1s circumcised. But that's something your Rabbi would have to discuss with the manufacturers. Sheldon: Not to mention you'd have to power down on Saturdays. Leonard: Sheldon, why is this letter in the trash? Sheldon: Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw it out. Leonard: It's from the Institute for Experimental Physics. They want us to present our paper on the properties of super solids at the topical conference on Bowes-Einstein condensates. Sheldon: I know. I read it before I threw it out. Leonard: Okay... if I may drill down to the bedrock of my question, why did you throw it out. Sheldon: Because I have no interest in standing in the Rose Room of the Pasadena Marriott in front of a group of judgemental strangers, who wouldn't recognise true genius if it were standing in front of them giving a speech. Which, if I were there, it would be. Howard: I don't know, Sheldon, those topical conferences on Bowes-Einstein condensates parties are legendary. Leonard: Forget the parties. Howard: Forget the parties? What a nerd. Leonard: Are there any other honours I've gotten that I don't know about? Did UPS drop off a Nobel Prize with my name on it? Sheldon: Leonard, please don't take this the wrong way, but the day you win a Nobel Prize, is the day I begin my research on the drag co-efficient of tassles on flying carpets. Raj: Hoo-hoo-hoo. The only thing missing from that insult was "yo mamma." Howard: I've got one, hey Leonard, your mamma's research methodology is so flawed.... Leonard: Shut up, Howard. Sheldon, we have to do this. Sheldon: No we don't. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep ourselves from dying, everything else is optional. Leonard: Okay, let me put it this way, I'm doing it. Sheldon: You can't. I'm the lead author. Leonard: Oh, come on. The only reason you're the lead author is because we went alphabetically. Sheldon: I let you think we went alphabetically to spare you the humiliation of dealing with the fact that it was my idea. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I was throwing you a bone. You're welcome. Leonard: Excuse me, I designed the experiment that proved the hypothesis. Sheldon: It doesn't need proving. Leonard: So the entire scientific community is just supposed to take your word? Sheldon: They're not supposed to, but they should. Leonard: Alright, I don't care what you say, I'm going to the conference and I'm presenting our findings. Sheldon: And I forbid it. Leonard: You forbid it? Sheldon: If I'm not taking credit for our work then nobody is. Leonard: Oh, you admit that it's our work. Sheldon: No, once again, I'm throwing you a bone. And once again, you are welcome. Leonard: Ah! Howard: Oh no he dit'nt! Scene: Leonard's bedroom. Penny is looking through his closet. Penny: So, how's it going with Sheldon, are you guys still not talking to each other? Leonard: Not only is he still not talking to me, but there's this thing he does where he stares at you and tries to get your brain to explode. You know, like in the classic sci-fi movie Scanners? (Put's fingers to head) You know, bzzz-pchew! Never mind. How about this one. It says, "I know my physics, but I'm still a fun guy!" Penny: Oh, hey, I didn't know they still made corduroy suits! Leonard: They don't, that's why I saved this one. Penny: Okay, well, let's just see what else you have. Okay, here, take this, and this, and this, and these. Leonard: Is this all stuff you want me to try on? Penny: No, this is stuff I want you to throw out. Leonard: Oh. Penny: Seriously, don't even give it to charity, you won't be helping anyone. What's this. Leonard: Oh, that's the bottled city of Kandor. Penny: Uh-huh. Leonard: You see, Kandor was the capital city of the planet Krypton, it was miniaturised by Brainiac before Krypton exploded and then rescued by Superman. Penny: Oh, nice. Leonard: It's a lot cooler when girls aren't looking at it. Penny: Here, why don't you put these on while I find a shirt and sport-coat to match. Leonard: Great, be right back. Penny: Well, where you going, just put them on. Leonard: Here? Penny: Oh, are you shy? Leonard: No, I'm not shy. Penny: Don't worry, I won't look. Leonard: I know you won't look, why would you look, there's nothing to see, well, not nothing.... Penny: Sweetie, put the pants on. Leonard: Putting them on. Penny: So, you know, isn't there maybe some way you and Sheldon could compromise on this whole presentation thing. Leonard: No. No. Scientists do not compromise. Our minds are trained to synthesise facts and come to inarguable conclusions. Not to mention, Sheldon is batcrap crazy. Penny: What is this? Leonard: Oh, careful. That's my original series Battlestar Galactica flight suit. Penny: Oh, why didn't you wear it at Halloween? Leonard: Because it's not a costume, it's a flight suit. Penny: Okay, alright, moving on, oh, wow, a paisley shirt. Leonard: Uh-huh, it goes with my corduroy suit. Penny: If you mean it should end up in the same place then, I agree. Is this your... your only tie? Leonard: Ah. Technically yes, but, if you'll notice, it's reversible. So it works as two. Penny: Oh, sweetie, I don't think it even works as one. Is this all your clothes? Leonard: Yeah. Everything since the eighth grade. Penny: The... the eighth grade? Leonard: My last growth spurt. Penny: Okay, well, I guess we're back to the corduroy suit. Leonard: Great. Penny: Yup. (Leonard picks up paisley shirt) I said no, put it down. Scene: The ground floor hallway. Penny: Hey Sheldon! Sheldon (unlocking his mailbox): Hello Penny. Penny: Get anything good? Sheldon: Uh, just the latest copy of Applied Particle Physics Quarterly. Penny: Oh, you know, that is so weird that yours came and mine didn't. (Sheldon looks confused). It was a joke. (Sheldon gives a fake laugh.) Yup, tip your waitresses, I'm here all week. Sheldon: Penny, just to save you from further awkwardness know that I'm perfectly comfortable with the two of us climbing the stairs in silence. Penny: Oh yeah, me too. Zip it, lock it. (The begin to climb) Put it in your pocket. So you and Leonard... Sheldon: Oh dear God! Penny: Little misunderstanding, huh. Sheldon: A little misunder.... Galileo and the Pope had a little misunderstanding. Penny: Anyway, I was talking to Leonard this morning and I think he feels really bad about it. Sheldon: Huh. Penny: Well how do you feel? Sheldon: I don't understand the question. Penny: Well I'm just asking if it's difficult to be fighting with your best friend. Sheldon: Oh. I hadn't thought about it like that. I wonder if I've been experiencing physiological manifestations of some sort of unconscious emotional turmoil. Penny: Wait... what? Sheldon: I couldn't poop this morning. Penny: You should just talk to him, I'm sure you guys can work this out. Sheldon: It's certainly preferable to my plan. Penny: Which was? Sheldon: A powerful laxative. Penny: Okay, so you absolutely should talk to him, look, I know Leonard values you as a friend, and he told me himself that without your little idea there's no way he could have come up with this whole experiment thing. Sheldon: Excuse me, little idea? Penny: Yeah, I mean he tried to explain it to me, I didn't really understand it but... Sheldon: Of course you didn't, he said little idea? Penny: Uh, well no, no, not in... not in those words. Sheldon: In what words then, exactly Penny: Um, gee, the exact words aren't written... it's more the spirit in which it's Sheldon: What did he say? Penny: You had a lucky hunch. Leonard (coming out of apartment): Hey, Sheldon, I've been thinking, instead of arguing about this why don't.... Sheldon: Don't you ever speak to me again. Leonard: What... (Sheldon goes into apartment and slams the door). Penny: Uh, he... (makes "he's screwy" hand movements, turns to go). [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: The apartment. Leonard is dressed in the corduroy suit. Leonard: Okay, I'm leaving for the conference. Sheldon: Have fun presenting my lucky hunch. Leonard: Sheldon I didn't mean it like that. Sheldon: Then why did you say it. Leonard: I don't know, I wasn't choosing my... Sheldon: Were you trying to impress Penny? Leonard: No, no not at all. A little bit. Sheldon: How'd that work out for you? Penny (entering): Leonard, ready to go? Sheldon: Libido 1, truth zero. Leonard: Okay, I'm going to ask you one more time, we did the work together, lets present the paper together. Sheldon: And I'm telling you for the last time it's pandering, it's undignified and bite me. Leonard: Let's go. Penny: Bye Sheldon. Sheldon: Goodbye Penny. (Places fingers to head to try to make Leonard's brain explode. Leonard leaves.) Oooh, one of these days, Pkshhhh! Scene: A corridor at the conference. Penny is attaching Leonard's name tag. Penny: There you go. Leonard: You're right, this side does look better. Penny: No, no, I didn't say better, I said less stained. Howard: I just checked the house, there's probably twenty, twenty-five people in there. Leonard: You're kidding. Penny: Is that all? Leonard: All? In particle physics, twenty five is Woodstock. Penny: Oh, well, then good! Leonard: I wasn't expecting such a crowd, I'm a little nervous. Howard: It's okay, just open with a joke, you'll be fine. Leonard: A joke. Okay. How about this, um, okay, uh there's this farmer, and he has these chickens, but they won't lay any eggs. So, he calls a physicist to help. The physicist then does some calculations, and he says, um, I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens in a vacuum. (Raj and Howard laugh.) Right? Penny: Oh, sorry, I've just, I've heard it before. Howard: Let's roll. Hey, nice suit. Leonard: It's a classic, right? Penny: I really should have brought my own car. Scene: Leonard is presenting. Leonard: So, in conclusion, the data show that at temperatures approaching absolute zero, the moment of inertia changes, and the solid becomes a super-solid, which clearly appears to be a previously unknown state of matter. (Applause) Thank you. (Penny is asleep on Howard's shoulder. Howard is taking a photograph with his camera phone.) Are there any questions? Voice: Yeah. What the hell was that? Leonard: Any other questions? Sheldon (who previously spoke, now removing his hood and dark glasses): Doctor Sheldon Cooper here, I am the lead author of this particular paper. (No reaction.) Thank you. And you, sir, you have completely skipped over the part where I was walking through the park, and I saw these children on a merry-go-round, which started me thinking about the moment of inertia in gasses like helium at temperatures approaching absolute zero. Leonard: I didn't skip it, it's just an anecdote. It's not science. Sheldon: Oh, I see, was the apple falling on Newton's head, was that just an anecdote? Leonard: You are not Isaac Newton. Sheldon: No, no that's true, gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple. Leonard: You cannot possibly be that arrogant. Sheldon: You continue to underestimate me, my good man. Leonard: Look, if you weren't happy with my presentation then maybe you should have given it with me. Sheldon: As I have explained repeatedly, unlike you, I don't need validation from lesser minds. No offence. Leonard: Really, so why did you come? Sheldon: Because I knew you'd screw this up. Leonard: I didn't screw it up. Sheldon: Oh, please. I admit, that spherical chicken joke, that was hilarious. But it was straight downhill from there. Leonard: I've had enough of your condescension. Maybe I didn't go to college when I was eleven like you, maybe I got my doctorate at 24 instead of 16, but you are not the only person who is smarter than everyone else in this room. No offense. And I am clearly not the only person who is tormented by insecurity and has an ego in need of constant validation. Sheldon: So you admit that you're an egotist? Leonard: Yes. (To audience) My name is Dr Leonard Hofstadter, and I could never please my parents so I need to get all my self-esteem from strangers like you. But he's worse. Sheldon: Okay, that is it. (Tries to explode brain again.) Leonard: You cannot blow up my head with your mind. Sheldon: Then I'll settle for an aneurysm. Leonard (knocking his hands down): Stop it. Sheldon: You hit me. You saw him, he hit me. Leonard: You were trying to blow up my head. Sheldon: So it was working. Leonard: It wasn't, it was not, you are a nutcase. Sheldon: Oh we'll see about that (tries again), heads up you people in the front row, this is a splash zone. Leonard: Stop, stop it, quit it. (The start to fight.) Penny: Is this usually how these physics things go? Howard: More often than you'd think. Leonard (getting Sheldon on floor): Vulcan nerve pinch! Scene: The apartment. Sheldon: You could have offered me a ride home. Leonard: You're lucky I didn't run you over. Sheldon: I really don't understand what you're so unhappy about, you begged me to come, I came, there's just no pleasing you. Leonard: You're right, I'm the problem, I'm the one that needs help. Sheldon: Well that's not much of an apology, but I'll take it. Leonard: Excuse me. Is there anything you'd like to apologise for? Sheldon: Yes. I'm sorry I tried to blow up your head. It was uncalled for. Howard (entering with Raj): You won't believe this. Raj: Somebody got the whole thing on a cell phone and put it on youtube. Leonard: What? Sheldon: Now, who would do that? Howard: That would be me. Hey, check it out, it's a featured video. (The watch). Leonard: Oh jeez. Is this suit really look that bad? Sheldon: Forget your suit, look at my arms waving, I'm like a flamingo on Ritalin. Penny (entering): Howard, would you like to explain to me why your facebook page has a picture of me sleeping on your shoulder captioned "Me and my Girlfriend?" Howard: Uh-oh, here comes "the talk." Penny tries to make Howard's brain explode. Scene: Captioned "Somewhere in China", two Chinese students watch the video on their computer. Student one (in captions): What losers. Student two: Yeah. Gigantic American geeks. (The lights flicker) Student one: Who's doing that? Student two: Someone from Pasadena, California named... "Wolowizard." Together: Awesome!	Plan: A: Leonard; Q: Who defies Sheldon and goes to the conference alone? A: an Internet experiment; Q: What does Leonard clean up after? A: an invitation; Q: What does Leonard find in the trash can? A: their joint research; Q: What did Leonard and Sheldon want to present at an academic conference? A: person; Q: What does Sheldon disapprove of Leonard presenting research in? A: Penny; Q: Who accidentally makes the rift between Leonard and Sheldon worse? A: Scanners; Q: What movie did Sheldon try to use to discredit Leonard's presentation? A: a physical altercation; Q: What happens when Sheldon tries to blow up Leonard's head with his mind? A: the fight; Q: What did Howard film on his phone and post on YouTube? A: his cellphone; Q: What did Howard use to film the fight between Sheldon and Leonard? A: a photo; Q: What did Howard post on Facebook of Penny sleeping on his shoulder? Summary: Leonard cleans up after an Internet experiment, and in the trash can he finds an invitation to him and Sheldon to present their joint research at an academic conference. Sheldon disapproves of presenting research in person, but Leonard defies him and goes alone. This causes a rift between the two which Penny tries to mend but accidentally makes worse. Sheldon appears at the conference and tries to discredit Leonard's presentation by attempting to "blow up" Leonard's head with his mind à la the movie Scanners, starting a physical altercation between the two. Howard films the fight on his cellphone and puts it on YouTube, but angers Penny by also posting a photo on Facebook of her sleeping on his shoulder during the presentation, entitled "Me and my girlfriend".
Merlin 4.09 - LANCELOT DU LAC "In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name...Merlin". KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Agravaine walks down the corridor. Arthur gazes out the window and Merlin cleans Arthur's armour as Agravaine enters. King Arthur: Uncle. Agravaine: It's late, Arthur. What's troubling you? King Arthur: Nothing. Nothing at all. But I've made a decision and I felt it only right to inform you right away. Though, I feel you're not going to like what I have to say....I'm going to marry Guinevere. Merlin (drops an armour piece that clatters against the ground): Sorry. King Arthur: That is, if she says "yes". Agravaine: Sire... King Arthur: No. I know what you're going to say. "She's a servant. I'm the King. It's not the done thing." Agravaine: I fear it's a little more serious than that. King Arthur: Guinevere has proved herself valuable support and true counsellor these past few months. Agravaine: You don't need a woman for support, Sire. I'm your counsel. King Arthur: I fear you have rather too much stubble to be my wife. Merlin snickers and tries to cover it up with a cough. King Arthur: Good counsel, solid support, they're exactly what I need. I don't want a Queen who spends her days floating around the castle agreeing with my every word. And the people don't want that either. So, I've made up my mind. I want Guinevere to be my Queen, and I want you to accept her as such. Agravaine nods. Merlin smiles. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Morgana dozes in a chair by the fire. Agravaine approaches, leans down and puts a hand on her back. Agravaine: My Lady. Morgana bolts awake and pulls a dagger on him. Morgana: You better have a good reason for scaring me like that. Agravaine: I'm afraid I do. Agravaine pulls up a chair. Agravaine: Arthur is to make Guinevere his Queen. Morgana: It's just like in my dream. I will not see that woman upon my throne! Agravaine: I don't see how we can stop her. Morgana gets an idea. Morgana: There is one that can ruin King Arthur's plans. One that can come between them. We all have our secrets and, unfortunately for Guinevere, I know hers (she smiles) I know exactly how to destroy her. [SCENE_BREAK] OPENING TITLES [SCENE_BREAK] FOREST CAVE - DAY Morgana enters the cave. A figure rises up behind her. Morgana turns to the eyeless Dochraid. Morgana: I come in peace. Morgana steps forward and the Dochraid grabs her hand and sniffs it. Morgana is startled and confused, but doesn't move. The Dochraid: Morgana Pendragon. You are destined to bring back the old ways (the Dochraid releases her hand) I hope to live to see that day. Morgana: You are one of the few people who remember the time of the Old Religion. I need your help (places a coin in the Dochraid's hand). It was a gift from my sister. The Dochraid inspects the coin. The Dochraid: Most interesting present. Morgana: Price of a soul. The Dochraid: But you do not know how to release it. The Dochraid holds the coin to herself. The Dochraid: I should like to keep it. Morgana holds out her hand to get it back and gently forces the Dochraid to give back the coin. The Dochraid: The gift is indeed a powerful one, but there's only one way to wield that power. You must travel to the last of the five gateways that separate our world from the world of the dead. POOL OF NEMHAIN - DAY Morgana walks to the edge of a lake and continues walking straight into the water. The Dochraid (V.O): Find the pool of Nemhain, whose waters are as black as night and as still as death itself. Cast the coin into its depths and your wish will be granted. Morgana fingers the coin and tosses it into the lake. It sinks into the lake and she waits. The water bubbles where the coin landed and a dark head and pair of muscular shoulders rise up out of the water. The man walks toward Morgana. It's Lancelot. Lancelot du Lac: My name is Lancelot, my Lady (he bows) I am yours to command. Morgana smirks. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Morgana regards Lancelot du Lac, now fully clothed, as he sits on her bed, eyes closed. He wakes. Morgana: You must be tired. You've been on a journey few have ever dreamed of. Lancelot du Lac: I know not where I have been, my Lady, only that I am yours. Lancelot motions to retrieve a sword from a nearby table. Morgana: Slow down. You won't be needing that. Not yet. We have work to do, but it's not your sword I require so much as your heart. KING'S PALACE, BEDROOM - NIGHT Gwen makes a bed. Arthur watches her from the doorway. Morgana (V.O): There is a woman, a serving girl, a lowly peasant called Guinevere. Or Gwen, as she's known to her friends. Arthur walks up slowly behind Gwen and places his hands over her eyes. She tenses. Morgana (V.O): There are many that have tried to win the hand of King Arthur. Arthur whispers in Gwen's ear. She smiles and keeps her eyes closed as Arthur pulls his hands away. Morgana (V.O): But it was Gwen who won his heart. Arthur takes a cloth from around his neck and places the blindfold over Gwen's eyes. She smiles with anticipation. Morgana (V.O): She is honest and straightforward, and a simple soul. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Morgana: Arthur trusts her entirely. As he does you. For you are Lancelot, the noble, the brave, the honourable. You're everything the Knight's Code stands for. GWEN'S HOUSE - NIGHT Arthur leads Gwen into her own house blindfolded. Morgana (V.O): Before she was Arthur's, she was yours, Lancelot. You were her first love. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Morgana: And you will be her last. GWEN'S HOUSE - NIGHT Arthur removes Gwen's blindfold (her engagement ring on his little finger) and she sees her home covered with candles. He takes her hand and leads her to a chair. She sits down and he kneels down in front of her. Merlin peeks in through the window. King Arthur: Guinevere, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife? They stare at each other for some seconds. Gwen suddenly hugs him tightly, overwhelmed. King Arthur: Is that a "yes"? Guinevere (breaks the hug and smiles widely): Oh, sorry! Yes. Yes. Yes. Arthur laughs pleased and puts a ring on her hand. Merlin smiles outside and leaves. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Lancelot sits on Morgana's bed, sleeping. Agravaine: How is it with our old adversary? Morgana: He's learning fast. Soon he will know enough to convince everyone he's the Lancelot we all knew. I thought it would please me, molding his mind. Instead, I feel curiously sad. He was once so mighty, and now he's nothing but a shade. I should be sorry to see him go. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS - DAY Arthur rides a practice joust. He catches the decorated ring and the crowd cheers. Guinevere sits in the royal box with Agravaine. Arthur rides to the box and Guinevere steps down to take the ring off of his lance with a smile. He smiles back. Back at the tents, Arthur rides off the field. Merlin: I've got to hand it to you. If nothing else, it's certainly an original engagement present. Arthur tosses Merlin his helmet and dismounts. Merlin: Well, as romantic gestures go, you could've given her flowers. You could have had a song written. Instead, you've given her two days of sweaty men knocking the sense out of each other. King Arthur: Exactly as it should be. My father had a tourney before his wedding. It's tradition. Merlin: Ah, so it's not even an original gesture, then. King Arthur: I think my future wife understands. Arthur raises his glass to indicate Guinevere in the stands, smiling as she takes the decorated ring from Sir Percival's lance. Guinevere: Thank you very much. Percival rides off smiling. Guinevere sits back down happily. Trumpets announce another rider. King Arthur: Who on earth's that? Merlin: No idea. The rider runs the practice joust and catches the ring. The crowd cheers and Guinevere politely applauds the stranger. She steps down and takes the decorated ring with a furrowed brow. The knight pulls off his helmet to reveal Lancelot du Lac. Guinevere looks disturbed. Lancelot du Lac pulls back and nods to Arthur and Merlin who stare at him, equally stunned. KING'S PALACE, DINING HALL - NIGHT The Round Table members are having dinner. Arthur at the head of the table, Guinevere on his right, Lancelot du Lac at the other end. Lancelot du Lac: I fear I remember very little after the moment I stepped through the veil. My story will not be as illuminating as I would like. King Arthur: We're just pleased to see you. Well...please and amazed. Lancelot du Lac: I owe everything to the Madhavi people. When they found me, I was near death. Luckily for me, their customs dictate that they must give food and shelter to the needy (sigh) And I was certainly that. Merlin watches Lancelot warily. Sir Leon: Where did they find you? Lancelot du Lac: On one of the silk road passes, high in the Feorre mountains. Sir Elyan: Cenred's kingdom. Lancelot du Lac: I travelled with them for many weeks, deep into the deserts of the south. Then, slowly my strength returned. When I was able, I earned my passage the only way I know how. By the sword. Lancelot du Lac smirks and the knights chuckle. Lancelot du Lac: Then I slowly made my way north. King Arthur: You made your way home. Lancelot du Lac nods. Arthur takes Guinevere's hand on the table. Agravaine isn't pleased. King Arthur: We can't thank you enough for what you sacrificed on the Isle of the Blessed. It will be remembered always. Lancelot du Lac (sigh): It is, indeed, good to see you once again. I would like to propose a toast (he stands) To the people I hold most dear. To Camelot. They all raise their glasses. All: To Camelot. King Arthur: To Camelot. Lancelot smiles and drinks. Merlin is still unsettled. KING'S PALACE, MERLIN'S BED CHAMBER - NIGHT Merlin: You can have my bed. Lancelot du Lac: No. No. Merlin: Really, after all you've been through...it's the least I can do. Lancelot du Lac: Thank you, Merlin. It's good to see you, too. Merlin: I've spent so long thinking about...what happened. Could I have saved you? And if there was anything I could have done. If I could have used magic... Lancelot du Lac (smiles): If any of us had any magic, Merlin... Lancelot du Lac walks past him to the bed. Now Merlin is certain that something's wrong. Lancelot du Lac: ...life would be a lot easier. Merlin walks to the door. Merlin: Good night. Merlin closes the door as he enters the physician's chambers. Gaius sees his worried expression. Gaius: Oh, no. I've seen that face before. Merlin: I want to believe that everything is fine and that we really have Lancelot back. Gaius: It certainly looks like him. Merlin: Yeah. Gaius: What is it? Merlin: I don't know. Something's wrong. Merlin sits next to Gaius and lowers his voice. Merlin: When he was telling his story, I sensed it. The way he greeted me, that made me suspicious. But what happened just now, that's made me sure. He forgot I had magic. Lancelot would never do that. Gaius: Strange, indeed. Give him time. FOREST - NIGHT Agravaine rides through the woods and dismounts. He walks slowly, searching for someone. Morgana appears behind him. Morgana: I'm keen to hear your news. Agravaine: I'm sure you'd be very proud, my Lady. Arthur and his knights were completely taken in. Morgana: And Gwen? This must be the last thing she hoped for on the eve of her wedding. Agravaine: If she was flustered, she certainly didn't show it. I fear she truly does love Arthur. Any feelings she had for Lancelot are in the past. Morgana: I had considered that eventuality. Agravaine is confused. Morgana pulls out a bracelet. Morgana (casts a spell on the bracelet): Beclyppe þinne idese þæt heo hine lyste! Her eyes glow and the bracelet shines for a while. Morgana: I think it's time to reawaken those feelings. They smirk as Agravaine takes the bracelet. GWEN'S HOUSE - DAY Guinevere brushes her hair and checks it in a small mirror. Someone knocks on the door. She opens it to find Lancelot du Lac leaning against the door frame with a charming smile. She's surprised. Lancelot du Lac: I wasn't sure I'd find you here. I thought you might have rooms in the palace. Guinevere: I want to stay here as long as I can. It may not be much, but it's my home. Lancelot du Lac: May I come in? Guinevere hesitates. Lancelot du Lac: I only want to wish you well. Guinevere smiles and opens the door for him. Guinevere: I never thought I'd see you again. Lancelot du Lac: I know. Guinevere: When I heard what you'd done, I felt so guilty. Lancelot du Lac: No. Guinevere: You were protecting Arthur, just as I'd asked. Lancelot du Lac nods. Guinevere: If it weren't for you, there'd be no wedding. There are no words to thank you enough. Lancelot du Lac: There is no need for that. I did what I felt was right in my heart. You taught me that, Gwen. Lancelot du Lac steps closer. Lancelot du Lac: To be true to myself. You will make a wonderful Queen. Your love for your people is surpassed only by your love for Arthur. Lancelot du Lac pulls out a cloth and unwraps the bracelet. Lancelot du Lac: The Madhavi people gave me this token of good fortune for my journey. I'd like you to wear it, for I see their goodness in you. He takes her hand and puts the bracelet on her wrist. Lancelot du Lac: It is a rare thing. And I was lucky to have been touched by it. He holds her face in his hands and gets closer to her. Gwen looks uncomfortable and then relieved when he kisses her forehead. Lancelot du Lac: I wish you and Arthur everlasting happiness, Gwen. He looks back at her with a smile as he leaves. She smiles back, but it fades as she looks uncertainly down at the bracelet. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Merlin studies a book about necromancy behind a screen. The pages show a dressed skeleton standing on a kind of spiral. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS - DAY The jousting tournament continues. Arthur and Lancelot du Lac win their jousts. Guinevere is much more pleased by Arthur's success. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin and Gaius eat supper. Merlin: Mm. Chicken is good. Nice broth. What do you know about necromancy? Gaius stops still just as he's about to eat. Gaius: What? Merlin: Well, you know lots...about lots of things, don't you? Gaius: Necromancy is the most dangerous of all magical practices. Even in the days of the Old Religion, such sorcery was viewed with the utmost suspicion. I know I'm going to regret asking this, Merlin, but why do you want to know? Merlin looks at his bedroom door, where Lancelot du Lac is resting. Merlin: I think that someone has raised Lancelot from the dead. Gaius: By "someone", I presume you mean "Morgana". Merlin nods. Gaius: The old legends do speak of such creatures. They call them "shades". Poor, tormented souls summoned from their rest by the necromancer's art. Merlin: So, it is possible? Gaius: Even if it is possible, we have no way of knowing for sure. Merlin pulls out a book entitled "The Art of Necromancy" Gaius: Or do we? KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin paints the floor with the spiral drawing from the book. He finishes and spreads his hands over the paint. Merlin (casts a spell): Onluc þa soþan treow! The paint glows red for a moment, then fades. Merlin hears something and peeks through a crack in his bedroom door. Lancelot du Lac is finishing getting dressed. Merlin dashes to Gaius's bed and wakes him with a shake. Merlin (whisper): It's time. Merlin and Gaius peer through the gaps in the closet door. Lancelot du Lac emerges from Merlin's bed chamber and walks over the circle. The circle glows red and a skeleton washes over Lancelot du Lac's features. They hear the door close and step out of the closet. Merlin: I didn't want it to be true. Gaius: I know. We all wanted him back. Merlin: More than anything. Gaius: This man's a shadow of his former self. A shadow with ill intent. Merlin: Do you think he means to harm Arthur? Gaius: Whatever his reason for being here, it can't be good. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS, TENT - DAY Guinevere sneaks among the tents, the crowd cheering in the distance. She pulls open a tent flap, the bracelet on her wrist, and enters Lancelot du Lac's tent. He's getting ready for the jousting. Guinevere: Here...let me. She helps him with his jacket. Lancelot du Lac: Thank you. Lancelot du Lac smiles darkly as Guinevere lets her hand linger on his arm for a bit after helping him with his shirt. Guinevere: I just wanted to wish you well. Lancelot du Lac: Shouldn't you be saying that to your future husband? Guinevere: I do. I have (looks confused)...I will. Guinevere remembers herself. Guinevere: I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm here. She motions to leave and pauses to watch him before stepping out. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS - DAY Lancelot wins another joust. Guinevere looks more pleased than before. Arthur faces Sir Leon. Arthur wins as Sir Leon falls backwards off his horse and summersaults. The crowd cringes, then cheers for Arthur. Guinevere smiles down on him as she applauds. Leon rises to his knees and a servant helps him up. Sir Percival walks past Merlin, noticing Merlin's dour expression. Sir Percival: Don't look so worried, Merlin. Arthur won. Merlin: Yeah. Now he's in the final with Lancelot. Sir Percival: Yeah, I know. People are gonna love that. Lancelot du Lac and Arthur acknowledge the crowd. Agravaine watches Guinevere, who looks uncertain about the match. Merlin and Gaius are watching. Gaius: You must be ready, Merlin. Your magic might be needed. The flag goes up and they joust. Both riders hit their opponent, but Arthur is seriously injured. Guinevere stands up, concerned, as Arthur drops his lance and leans forward in pain. He takes his next lance from a servant anyway. Gaius: Arthur should withdraw. He's in no fit state to continue. Merlin: He wouldn't withdraw if his head was hanging by a thread. Arthur can barely hold the lance, but he starts to joust anyway. Lancelot du Lac is unharmed. Guinevere frowns as the joust continues. Arthur is unable to lift his lance into attack position. As they come within range, Lancelot du Lac yields his lance letting a wounded Arthur win. The crowd cheers. Agravaine and Guinevere are surprised. Merlin: What's going on? Why did he yield? Arthur drops his lance and stumbles off his horse holding his side. Lancelot dismounts and they walk to the centre of the field. Merlin: Well, I suppose I should be pleased Arthur's alive. Lancelot du Lac and Arthur meet in front of the royal box. Lancelot du Lac kneels. Lancelot du Lac: My liege. King Arthur: Arise, Sir Lancelot. It's not necessary. I always thought you the noblest of my knights. You just proved me right. Thank you for your courtesy. Lancelot bows. King Arthur: Won't be forgotten. Arthur and Lancelot face the box and the crowd cheers. Guinevere smiles at Arthur and he bows his head. Lancelot du Lac and Arthur regard each other. Lancelot du Lac (nods): Your Highness. Arthur nods back and leaves the field. Gaius: If he's not here to kill Arthur, what's he here for? Merlin: I don't know. Merlin sees Guinevere sneak into Lancelot du Lac's tent. Merlin: I wish I did. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS, TENT - DAY Guinevere circles Lancelot du Lac, running her hand over his shoulders, the bracelet on her wrist. She entwines her fingers with his and rubs their hands against her chin. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Lancelot du Lac walks through the palace with a sword in his hand. He slides it into his belt. Merlin follows him to the balcony corridor where he meets with Agravaine. Lancelot du Lac: Everything is prepared. Gwen is on her way to our assignation as we speak. Agravaine: You've done well. Lady Morgana will be very pleased with you. Agravaine leaves and Lancelot du Lac returns the way he came. Merlin hurries into hiding. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Ladies walk down a corridor. Guinevere waits for them to pass and sneaks through the castle. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Lancelot du Lac walks toward the council chambers. Merlin throws him with magic and Lancelot du Lac goes unconscious. Merlin approaches him and Lancelot wakes, unaffected by the blow. He trips Merlin, draws his sword and knocks Merlin out with the pommel. [SCENE_BREAK] KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Arthur is sleeping. Agravaine approaches the bed. Agravaine: Arthur. Arthur stirs a little. Agravaine: Arthur. Arthur turns over and opens his eyes, confused. Agravaine: Sorry. There's something you must see. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - NIGHT Lancelot du Lac waits for Guinevere behind a column. She goes to him and hugs him. Guinevere: Are you sure this is safe? Lancelot du Lac: No one visits the council chambers at this hour of the night. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Arthur and Agravaine walk towards the council chambers. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Merlin wakes, holds his head from the blow, then rushes to the council chamber. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - NIGHT Guinevere feels Lancelot du Lac's chest, smiles, and pulls him into a kiss. Lancelot du Lac watches the entrance while they kiss. Arthur appears and Lancelot du Lac closes his eyes. Arthur, shocked, watches for a moment. Merlin arrives too late, he looks at Arthur's line of vision and sees Guinevere and Lancelot du Lac snogging. Arthur's anger rises and he draws his sword and charges them. Lancelot du Lac steps away from Guinevere and draws his sword. Arthur attacks furiously and elbows Lancelot du Lac in the face, making him drop his sword. Arthur attacks him anyway, but hits the column. Lancelot du Lac shoves Arthur against another column, making Arthur drop his sword. Guinevere freaks. Guinevere: Please! Arthur shoves Lancelot du Lac, who slides in reach of his sword and grabs it. He rises to attack Arthur, but Merlin intervenes. Merlin (casts a spell): Ecg misse! The sword drops out of Lancelot du Lac's hand. Arthur grabs his sword and yells as he charges the defenceless Lancelot shade. Guinevere steps in his path. Guinevere: No! Please! Please! Please. Stop. Please, please. This has to stop! Please. Please. Stop. This has to stop. Arthur looks at her, the betrayal written plainly on his face. KING'S PALACE, DUNGEONS - NIGHT Lancelot du Lac is shoved into a cell. KING'S PALACE, DUNGEONS - NIGHT Guinevere is shoved into another cell. She covers her face with her hands in broken-hearted frustration. She sees Lancelot du Lac's bracelet on her wrist and she rips it off and throws it into a corner of the cell. In tears, Guinevere collapses to the ground. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Agravaine talks to Arthur's back as he stares into his room, eyes bloodshot. Agravaine: Far be it from me to advise you on personal matters, Sire, but this is also a matter of state. You've been made a fool of, and you must respond robustly. Of course, in the days of your father, adultery in noble families was punishable by death. Merlin stands in the room, arms folded, glaring at Agravaine. Agravaine: But as for Lancelot, death's too good for him. He must die, but...painfully. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - NIGHT The court waits in silence. Guinevere stands between two guards, surrounded by the entire council, including the Knights of the Round Table. Agravaine stands by the throne. He nods and the two guards force Guinevere to her knees as Arthur enters. Arthur walks resolutely to the throne. He stands behind it, his back to the council. Guinevere is pale, her face streaked with tears. Arthur speaks softly. King Arthur: You will leave, please. Agravaine nods to the two guards and they depart. King Arthur: All of you. No one moves. King Arthur: Now! The knights and councilmen leave. Guinevere looks at her brother. He glares at her disappointedly as he leaves. Agravaine remains. King Arthur: You, too, Uncle. Agravaine: Sire... King Arthur: Now! Agravaine bows and exits. Arthur glares at the wall as he waits for the doors to close. Guinevere sighs with grief. Arthur turns around and glares at her as he walks slowly past her. She can't bring herself to look at him. King Arthur: What are you still doing on your knees? Am I just your king? Get up for goodness sake. Gwen gets up in tears. He stares at her for some seconds and he circles her. King Arthur: I was to be your husband. Arthur completes his circle and faces her, finally looking her in the eye. She holds his gaze, distressed. King Arthur: What happened, Guinevere? She tries to say something, but has no answer and shakes her head. King Arthur: We were happy. I know we were happy. Guinevere nods painfully. King Arthur: You felt it too? She nods with her eyes closed. She shakes her head, still unable to speak, and nods. King Arthur: You love him? You've always loved him? Guinevere (shakes her head): No! King Arthur: All those times you said you wanted to be with me? Guinevere: I meant every word. King Arthur: Tomorrow was our wedding day. Guinevere nods painfully, closing her eyes, suffering through a new bout of tears. Guinevere: I know. King Arthur: If you had worries... She shakes her head. Guinevere: I wasn't worried. King Arthur: If you had doubts... Guinevere: I didn't have any doubts. King Arthur (steps closer to her): Then forgive me! Because I must be really stupid! (he grabs her by her shoulders and shakes her) WHAT WERE YOU DOING!? (he releases her and steps back) Sorry. Guinevere rubs her arm. Guinevere: No. No. No. It is I who should be sorry. Arthur struggles to control his anger. Guinevere: You mean everything to me, Arthur...Once there was Lancelot, a long time ago. But I haven't considered him in that way for many years. I thought he was dead. I thought I would never see him again, and...and then...when I did, I was...overwhelmed. I was drawn to him. I couldn't stop myself, I don't know why. Guinevere presses her hands to her face. She's crying desperately. Guinevere: I love you. You mean everything to me. Guinevere holds her hands to her stomach, barely able to get the last words out through her sobs. Guinevere: All these years, I've waited for you. King Arthur: You only had to wait one more day. Arthur's voice cracks with emotion. Guinevere: All I've ever wanted is to be your Queen. I still want to be your Queen. King Arthur: Do you know what they're saying? Arthur points to the doors that the councilmen left through. Guinevere shakes her head. King Arthur: That in my father's day, you'd be put to death. They stare at each other for some seconds. Guinevere watches him for his decision. King Arthur: I don't want to see you dead, Guinevere. She waits. King Arthur: But I don't want to see you. Guinevere is distraught by his answer. King Arthur: I cannot look on you every day. You will leave Camelot at first light... Guinevere: Arthur... King Arthur: You return upon pain of death. Guinevere (sniffles): No! Arthur walks past Guinevere and she panics. Guinevere: No! No! No! I cannot be without you! King Arthur: That is my decision. Guinevere stops and he continues to the door. Guinevere: Where will I go? Arthur stops at the door and turns to look at her. King Arthur: I am sorry. I am truly sorry. Arthur opens the door and leaves Guinevere alone in the council room. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin: This is what Morgana wanted...all along. Gaius: She couldn't suffer the ignominy of seeing Gwen on her throne. It is, indeed, a cruel revenge. Merlin But it is Morgana who created it. I must make Arthur see that. If he knew that Lancelot was a shade... Gaius: It wouldn't change what Gwen has done. It's the betrayal that matters to the King, Merlin. Telling him of Lancelot's true nature won't change that. It's Gwen who must pay the price. KING'S PALACE, DUNGEONS - DAY Agravaine enters Lancelot du Lac's cell where he is chained to the wall. Agravaine pulls out a letter with a black ribbon and seal. Agravaine: This is from our Lady Morgana. She has one last wish for you. Lancelot du Lac: Whatever my Lady desires. I'm hers to command. Lancelot du Lac opens the letter and reads it. LOWER TOWN - DAWN Gwen exits her house for the last time, dressed for travel. Merlin looks up from where he's waiting. Gwen takes the yoke and begins to pull the cart. Merlin stands and Gwen sees him. She pauses for a moment and then continues pulling the cart awkwardly down the street. Merlin watches her go. KING'S PALACE, THRONE ROOM - DAY Arthur stands despondently, staring into space, as servants take down the wedding decorations. Merlin enters behind him. Merlin: It's not too late, Sire. I know what Gwen did was desperately wrong, but she is a good person. I truly believe that. King Arthur: As do I, Merlin... As do I. Merlin: Can you find it in your heart to forgive her? King Arthur: That's not the problem. Merlin (angry): Agravaine? Well, it is Agravaine, isn't it? He's wrong. People won't find you weak or a fool. They will find you merciful, understanding. King Arthur: You're brave to speak out, Merlin. Gwen's your friend, I understand. I'm afraid you're wrong. I love Gwen with all my heart. Arthur finally looks at Merlin. King Arthur: And I'm sure in time, I'll find a way to forgive her...But I'll never trust her. I can't live like that. Not as a King, certainly not as a husband. And though it pains me...it's best that she's gone. Agravaine arrives with two guards. Agravaine: Sire. KING'S PALACE, PYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Agravaine, Merlin, Gaius, and Arthur stand over Lancelot du Lac's dead body. Agravaine: The guards found him. King Arthur: What happened? Gaius: It appears he took his own life. King Arthur: I guess we shouldn't be surprised. Agravaine twitches a smile. Merlin glares at him. King Arthur: In all ways but one, Lancelot was a man of honour. See to it that he receives a proper burial. Arthur and Agravaine leave and Gaius covers Lancelot du Lac's face with a sheet. LAKE - DAY Lancelot lies on a boat made of twigs and covered in flowers. Merlin stands over him and places a hand on his forehead. Merlin (casts a spell): Grið fæstne mid þisse tintregian sawle! Merlin's eyes glow and Lancelot is freed from Morgana's grasp. Lancelot breathes sharply in as he regains a brief consciousness. He looks at Merlin. Lancelot (whispers): Merlin. Thank you. Lancelot smiles and closes his eyes, breathing his last breath. Merlin smiles between tears, knowing Lancelot is now at peace. Merlin pushes the boat towards the centre of the lake and sets its aflame. He continues to cry as he watches it burn.	Plan: A: Arthur; Q: Who banishes Gwen? A: Agravaine; Q: Who tells Morgana that Arthur wants to marry Gwen? A: Morgana; Q: Who gives Lancelot's soul back to him? A: a tournament; Q: What does Arthur celebrate after Gwen agrees to marry him? A: a made up story; Q: What does Lancelot tell Arthur about his return? A: Merlin; Q: Who wakes Lancelot one last time before he burns his body? A: magic; Q: What does Merlin have that Lancelot forgot about? A: an enchanted bracelet; Q: What does Lancelot give Gwen to revive her love for him? A: necromancy; Q: What is Lancelot's Shadow invoked by? Summary: Arthur decides to marry Gwen. Agravaine informs Morgana, who brings back Lancelot's soul under her command. After Gwen agrees to marry him, Arthur celebrates a tournament and Lancelot appears in the middle of it, with a made up story about his return. Merlin is suspicious because Lancelot has forgotten Merlin has magic. Lancelot gives Gwen an enchanted bracelet from Morgana, to revive Gwen's love for him. Merlin discovers Lancelot's a Shadow, invoked by necromancy , working with Agravaine and Morgana, but can't stop him. Agravaine makes sure Arthur sees Gwen kiss Lancelot. After Lancelot and Arthur fight, Agravaine advises Arthur to kill them both. Arthur banishes Gwen and Morgana orders Lancelot to kill himself. Before burning his body, Merlin wakes Lancelot one last time. Lancelot, now himself again, thanks him.
Mystic Falls, 1912 [Town Square] (Mr Salvatore and Sheriff Forbes are talking) Sheriff Forbes: Will you get home all right, Mr.Salvatore? I could send for one of the police vehicles Mr Salvatore: A little winter chill never hurt anyone, sheriff Forbes Sheriff Forbes: I'm less concerned about the cold front, more for your safety Mr Salvatore: One councilman's murder doesn't make an epidemic, Gerald. Good Night Sheriff Forbes: Good Night (They part ways. Mr Salvatore walks alone in the empty town square. He hears a noise and turns himself. Someone stabs him. He falls on the floor, dead. The murderer leaves) Nowadays [The Town Square] (Carol and Liz are walking towards the Sheriff's office) Liz: The mystery's not gonna get solved any faster with you yelling at me, Carol Carol: We have 2 council murders and an attempted murder on our hands. If you have a suspect, it is your duty to keep me in the loop Liz: No, it's my duty to make sure I don't accuse an innocent person of being a serial killer Carol: Just tell me who it is, Liz (They enter) [The Jail] (Alaric is in jail. He wakes up. He has a wound on his shoulder. He sees that he's in jail. Liz and Damon are here) Alaric: I didn't do it Damon: You're arresting him? For what this nutjob Dr. Fell says? Liz: No, I'm detaining him. The cell is for his own good. You were shot. Dr. Fell used vampire blood to heal you Alaric: Dr. Fell is the one who shot me Liz: Because you came at her with a knife Alaric: Yeah, with a knife I had found hidden in her things Damon: Are we gonna ignore the part where he's one of the killer's victims? I mean, the guy was practically stabbed to death Liz: Well, Dr. Fell suggested his wounds could have been self-inflicted Alaric: My God, you think I stabbed myself? Liz: Look, I think I don't know what to think. I've got nothing except murder weapons from your stash and a respected member of a founding family pointing a very long finger Alaric: She is setting me up. I'm being framed here Liz: Well, that may be so, but I don't have any proof of that Damon: Well, then we'll find some Liz: No, just stay out of this, Damon. You getting involved is only gonna make matters worse Damon: Listen, Liz... Liz: Don't make me put you in that cell with him [The street] (Elena and Matt are running. She's faster than him) Matt: What are we running, a marathon? Elena: If you can't keep up... Matt: Elena, you can't outrun your problems (He stops but she keeps running) Matt: Although it looks like you're gonna try. I talked to Bonnie! (She stops) Elena: What did she say? Matt: They're at her mom's house. Abby's gonna complete the transition Elena: She decided to become a vampire? Matt: Yeah. Caroline's gonna help her through it, teach her control and stuff Elena: Did Bonnie say... Is there anything I can do? Matt: She knows it's not your fault, Elena. She's just... Upset Elena: Damon turned her mom into a vampire to save my life. It's absolutely my fault Matt: You're gonna make me run more, aren't you? (Her phone rings. She looks at it) Matt: Who is it? (She answers) Elena: Sheriff Forbes. Everything ok? He what? [Sheriff's Department] (Elena enters and sees Damon) Elena: Were you just with... Damon: Ric's fine. Sheriff wants me to stay out of it Elena: But you're not going to, are you? Damon: Seems just as good a plan as any Elena: Your friend's in jail for murder. You have to do something Damon: Well, I guess I could rip out Dr. False Accusation's throat or maybe her tongue. You know, I could chew it up in little, tiny pieces and feed it to the squirrels Elena: Stop it Damon Damon: Guess me staying out of it suddenly sounds like a good idea, doesn't it? I saved your life last night. You're welcome Elena: You know, you could show a little compassion about Bonnie Damon: I know. You're right. Her and her mom must be really hurting right now. Should I send lasagna? Elena: Ok, now you're just being mean Damon: I'm mean. You hate me. The earth is back on its axis Elena: You know what? If you keep pushing people away, you're gonna end up alone (She leaves) [Salvatore's House] (Stefan is wrinting on his diary but he's seems stressed. He keeps hitting his ring against the desk. Damon enters) Damon: "Dear diary, the chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. That lie will haunt me forever." Stefan: What do you want? (He closes his diary and puts it on his shelf with the others) Damon: I was hoping we could hang. You know, little brother bonding. I mean, I know we don't actually "hang out." We team up. We join forces, activate our wonder twin powers (Damon takes a diary) Stefan: What are you doing? Damon: Digging up clues. Most of the originals are gone, but we have a whodunit going on. Hey, do you remember when we came back for Zachariah's funeral? Stefan: Vaguely. Why? Damon: 'Cause if memory serves, he wasn't the first founders council member killed that year or even that month Stefan: Your point being? Damon: I'm trying to remember what year it was Stefan: 1912 Damon: So much for vaguely. 1912. Or as I like to call it, last time Mystic Falls had a serial killer on its hands (Stefan opens the diary and reads) Mystic Falls, 1912 [A cemetery] Stefan: It feels so strange to be home again after so long away. I thought I would never return, certainly not for a funeral (Everyone goes out of the Salvatore's family vault. 2 women rejoin Stefan) Mariana Lockwood : I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Salvatore. I'm told you're a distant cousin of Zachariah Stefan: His nephew, actually. Miss... Mariana Lockwood: Lockwood. Mariana Lockwood. And this is my friend Samantha Gilbert Stefan: As in Jonathan Gilbert Samantha Gilbert: My late grandfather. Did you know him? Stefan: Crossed paths. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be... Inappropriate. But no one seems to be willing to discuss the details of Zachariah's death Samantha Gilbert: He was murdered, and he wasn't the first Mariana Lockwood: Samantha, don't be a gossip Samantha Gilbert: Why not? He should know. He's a founding family like us. Be careful, Mr. Salvatore. It's not a good time to be a founder in this town (They leave. He sees a crow and then turns himself and sees Damon) Damon: Have you been eating the relatives again? Stefan: Damon Damon: It's been a long time, brother Stefan: It's been almost 50 years. Surprised you came Damon: And miss the funeral of... What do you call him? Uncle Zachariah? Stefan: I see you're still mad at me Damon: Why would I be mad at you, Stefan? You made me become a vampire, and now I walk the world alone drinking other people's blood Stefan: Any chance you took it all out on our nephew Zachariah? Damon: If I'm not mistaken, you were the one who killed our family members. May our father rest in peace Stefan: I'm not like that anymore, Damon Damon: Well, congratulations, Stefan. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to live out my eternal existence as far away from you as possible Stefan: Damon, wait. Let's grab a drink, catch up. I've missed you, brother Damon: Sure. Why not? Nowadays [Salvatore's House] Stefan: Ah. I get it. I get it. You're bored. Your best friend's in jail, and you don't have anything better to do with yourself Damon: Well, there's that. And... I was hoping you could help me solve a murder (He takes the journal and leaves) [Mystic Grill] (Rebekah is sitting at a table with Carol Lockwood) Rebekah: Thank you for meeting with me, mayor. I figured as head of the preservation society, you'd be a good person to ask about the oldest trees in this community Carol: A long line of Lockwood women used to keep those records back before any of them had actual jobs Rebekah: I've been to the founders archive, but I can't seem to find any record of the tree I'm looking for Carol: It probably got cut down. Big old trees built half this town in the 1900s (Damon and Stefan enter) Damon: Ho. She-devil, 9 o'clock (Rebekah looks at Damon. He and Stefan go at the bar) Rebekah: Do you happen to know who kept the milling ledgers during that period? Carol: Back then, all the logging mills were owned by the Salvatores (Damon and Stefan are at the bar) Damon: So what does the Cal examiner, bill Forbes, and Alaric Saltzman have in common? (Stefan keep hitting his hand on the bar) Damon: Come on. Knock it off (Stefan takes the bottle and pours himself a drink) Damon: You know, quitting blood cold Turkey after a ripper binge, probably not the best approach. Every time you play that all-or-nothing game, you eventually leave a trail of bodies, so I'm thinking now's a good time to pay our old friend moderation a visit Stefan: They were all on the founders council, Damon. That's what they have in common Damon: But why them, huh? Brian Walters and Alaric weren't from founding families. I mean, hey, if you gotta slaughter council members, go a-list. At least in 1912, they killed a Salvatore (Rebekah rejoins them) Rebekah: Which Salvatore would that be? [Sheriff's Department] (Alaric is still in jail. Liz is with him) Alaric: You'll have to agree, sheriff, there's no motive here Liz: Look, both the medical examiner and my ex-husband got into altercations with Meredith Fell before their deaths. Now, she said you were a witness to her fight with Brian Walters Alaric: So what are you saying, that I was defending her honor? I barely knew her then Liz: She said she also told you Bill threatened to report her to the medical board for giving him vampire blood Alaric: No, she didn't Liz: A 2 a.M. Call on the night he was killed? I pulled your records. You spoke with her for over an hour Alaric: Ok. I, uh... Yes, I... I remember calling her, but I... I was drinking, and I... I don't remember the conversation Liz: Well, do you have an alibi for the night Brian Walters was killed? Alaric: I was there the night of the bridge fundraiser, ok, until midnight. You saw me there Liz: Time of death was between 1:00 and 3 a.M Alaric: Well, then, I... I must have been home sleeping, I'm sure. I'm sure of it [Mystic Grill] Rebekah: So Zachariah Salvatore was your nephew? Damon: Well, our father knocked up one of the maids during the civil war. She had a son. But as far as everyone else knew, Stefan and I were dead. Family name had to go somewhere Rebekah: And, uh, your family owned the logging mills back then Damon: You're full of a lot of questions Rebekah: I'm just researching the town history. I grew up here, after all Damon: You know, you don't have to disguise your true motives. Blondie bex. If you want more sx, just ask for it Rebekah: Not enough liquor in the world Damon: Oh, come on. It was too good for you to be this hostile (Stefan takes the bottle and gets up) Damon: You'll have to excuse my little brother. He's jonesing for some o-positive Stefan: I'm not jonesing Rebekah: So they never catch the killer? Damon: Nope. Wrote it all off on vampires Rebekah: Maybe it was a vampire Stefan: Yeah. Yeah, maybe it was a vampire, Damon Damon: Don't think for a second you didn't cross my mind, too, brother. But these murders weren't your style, were they? Plus there were no other vampires circulating then Stefan: Well, there was one other vampire. Remember Sage? Damon: Oh, right. Sage. Speaking of great sx Mystic Falls, 1912 (Stefan and Damon are in front of tent, drinking) Stefan: Maybe you've had enough Damon: Hit a man when he's down (They enter. There's a boxing game. Everyone is gathered around the ring. A woman is fighting against a man on the ring. She wins) Sage: Who's next? $100 to any man who can beat me (She looks at Damon. Stefan rejoins him) Stefan: I can teach you how to survive without human blood, you know Damon: You do not get to lecture me on how to live my life, not anymore (He leaves him, Sage rejoins him) Sage: What's your name? Damon: Not interested Sage: Well, Mr. not interested, you seem to me like a gambling man Damon: I'm afraid you have me all wrong (She takes a bill and puts it in his pants) Sage: Well, that's too bad (She leaves) Nowadays [Mystic Grill] Rebekah: I knew Sage once. Trashy little thing (Damon looks at Stefan) Damon: You really think it was Sage who was killing all those founders back then? Stefan: Town questioned every grown man in Mystic Falls. Probably never occurred to them that a woman could have done it [Mystic Falls' Hospital] (Elena is waiting on the parking lot. Mereith parks her car and gets out of it) Meredith: I'm due in surgery. Whatever case you're gonna make against Alaric, make it quick Elena: I don't have to make a case. He didn't do anything Meredith: How do you know? Sure you live with him, he takes care of you, but do you really know anything about him? Elena: I know enough Meredith: Let me tell you what I know. He was arrested for fighting 4 times before the age of 21. When he was at Duke, his future wife Isobel filed a restraining order against him twice. Although then she married him, so I guess that says more about her Elena: Ok, you're making all of this up Meredith: Am I? How would you know? You took pity on a borderline alcoholic vampire hunter, and you never even thought to look any deeper Elena: How could you do this to him? He didn't kill anyone, and you know it Meredith: You date vampires, Elena. It shouldn't come as a shock to learn that your guardian is a murderer (She leaves) [Mystic Grill] Rebekah: So, uh, tell me more about your old relatives. I heard they tore down half the woods to make this town Damon: Easy there, lushy pants. It's been a hoot and a half, but it's boys night, and you weren't invited (He takes the bottle, Stefan takes two glasses and they leaves) [Meredith Appartment] (Matt and Elena break into her appartment) Elena: Wow. Nice job Matt: I'll add breaking and entering to the list of life favors you owe me Elena: Ok, look, I don't know how much longer she's gonna be in surgery, so let's see what we can find (They start looking) Matt: Don't you think the police already combed through this place? She handed over everything she had Elena: Yeah, I'm looking for the evidence that she didn't hand over Matt: And you're sure it's her we should be investigating? Elena: I know him, Matt. He's innocent. And I know that Meredith's a Fell, founding family, which means... (She opens tha closet. She looks everywhere. She pushes the closes and sees a trap door on the wall) Elena: Skeleton in the closet... Just like a true founder (She opens it and finds a box in it. They look into it. They see the files) Elena: Brian Walters, Bill Forbes (He finds a big file and show it to her) Matt: Alaric Saltzman [Mystic Grill] (Damon is playing darts. Stefan is drinking and doesn't seem fine) Damon: So... Let's just say sage was killing everyone in 1912. Who the hell is doing it now? It's not that psycho, Dr. Fell. She's a woman. There's no way she could stab 3 grown men (He throws a dart but Rebekah catches it) Rebekah: That's a bit sexist. A woman could easily kill a man with the right motivation Stefan: You just, uh, don't give up, do you? Rebekah: Why are you so grumpy? Damon: He's on a master cleanse, trying to be a better man and all Rebekah: Yeah, you were a lot more fun in the twenties Damon: You'll rile him up. He's testy when he's being self-righteous Stefan: I'm not being self-righteous, Damon. I'm just not interested in slaughtering innocent human beings anymore Damon: Oh, ok. Fair enough. My mistake. You used to be self-righteous (He takes Stefan's diary and starts reading) Damon: "Dear diary, Damon has lost his way. Though I have pulled my own life together, he continues to waste his." Rebekah: Ouch (She takes the diary from her hands and reads too) Rebekah: "His bitterness consumes him. He is nothing but blackness and bile." Oof. Judgey (She looks at Damon) Rebekah: You know, if I'm being honest. You didn't seem like much fun either, Damon Damon: I wasn't. Woman I was in love with was stuck in a tomb. She wasn't getting out for 100 years. I wasn't having any fun at all Mystic Falls, 1912 (Damon is feeding on a woman. Sage rejoins him) Sage: You're doing it all wrong. Bad vampire Damon: I was hungry. Now I'm not hungry. My quality of form is... Purely subjective Sage: A woman isn't just for food. She's for pleasure Damon: I do not need a woman for pleasure. I am spoken for Sage: We are all spoken for in some way. But what is being a vampire if not relishing in the pleasure of it? Come along. Let me show you (They enter the tent. There's a boxing game. Everyone is still gathered around the ring) Sage: Look at the women. They're beautiful, aren't they? (He looks at a group a women) Sage: Not them. They're too hungry for attention. You want the ones who button themselves up. Watch them. They can't tear their eyes away. Those are the women who secretly crave seduction. They'll put up a good fight, but the game is in winning them over, making them beg for it Damon: What if they don't? Sage: You're a vampire. You take it (They looks at Samantha Gilbert) Sage: Her (He goes toward her and then looks at Sage. She smiles) Nowadays [SCENE_BREAK] [Mystic Grill] Rebekah: That sounded like sage, all right Damon: How did you know her? Rebekah: She was obsessed with my brother Finn over 900 years ago Damon: What? Creepy, suicidal guy? (Stefan is agitated. He keeps hitting his hand against the table) Damon: You're doing it again (Stefan gets up) Stefan: I need to, uh... I got to get out of here Damon: Sure. First admit you're jonesing Stefan: Damon, I'm not gonna... (Damon catches him) Damon: Admit it Stefan: Ok, fine. I'm freaking out. I'm ready to eat the entire wait staff. Why do you need to hear me say it? Damon: Because I'm feeling a little self-righteous, too (Stefan leaves) [Meredith's Appartment] (Elena is looking at Alaric's file) Elena: She's got everything on him... Medical records, old court documents (Matt finds a journal) Matt: What's this? (She takes it and opens it) Elena: It's an old Gilbert journal Matt: Why is one of your old family journals in her closet? (He reads a paper) Matt: Didn't you say the medical examiner's time of death was between 1:00 and 3 a.M.? Elena: Yeah. Why? Matt: Because the county coroner's office says that's wrong (He shows her the paper. They hear Meredith) Matt: Oh my god (He takes the box and they enter the closet. Meredith enters the appartment. He's about to talk but Elena puts her finger on his lips to make him stop. Meredith has changed clothes. She takes her keys. They don't hear anything so they open the door but Meredith's here, waiting for them) [Sheriff's Department] (Matt and Elena are in Liz's office) Liz: What were you thinking? Elena: I know that we had no right Liz: No right? You broke the law Elena: But we found something that clears Alaric. It gives him an alibi in the Brian Walters murder Liz: you mean this? (She shows him a paper) Elena: What is that? Liz: A letter from the county coroner's office correcting the error in the time of death of Brian Walters. Meredith Fell received it today. She brought it to me several hours ago, full of apologies for accusing an innocent man Matt: Why would she have a copy hidden in her closet? Liz: I can't ask those questions, Matt, because of the very fact that you broke into her home to find it. Do you know how much I'm already protecting both of you? Elena: I'm sorry Liz: Just get out of my office and go home, please. Alaric'll be released as soon as the letter is authenticated. Go [An alley] (Stefan goes out of the Mytic Grill and goes in an alley. Damon and Rebekah follow him) Rebekah: So he doesn't want to drink human blood? Damon: Ah, he has an eternally guilty conscience Rebekah: Funny. When I knew him in the twenties, he didn't have any conscience at all. It's one of the things I liked most about him. He can't possibly think he can survive without feeding Damon: Oh, on the contrary. He's determined to live his life pursuing one extreme or the other. He's a stubborn one, my brother. Think I'm gonna need some help with this one Rebekah: What can I do? (A woman gets out of her car. Damon goes to see her) Damon: Hello Woman: Hi Damon: This may seem very forward, but you're just so pretty Woman: Thank you (He compels her) Damon: And please don't scream. You're about to have a very, very bad night (Damon bites her and drinks her blood. Stefan rushes toward him and makes him stop. Rebekah catches the woman) Damon: Sorry, brother. It's dinnertime. Have a bite Stefan: What are you doing? Damon: Tough love, Stefan. You're not gonna survive this cold-Turkey thing. You never do. It's time to get that monkey off your back Stefan: No Damon: Feed... Or I'll let rebekah have her way with her. You know she'll kill her Rebekah: Oh, I will Damon: Then her blood'll be on your hands. Or you can just have a little drink, save her life. Come on, Stefan. You were the one that said you didn't want any more innocent life slaughtered. Save her. Go on. Have a bite. I snatched. You eat. I erase. Hell, I'll even heal her for you when it's over Stefan: Why are you doing this? You know what blood does to me Damon: 'Cause you let it control you. You always have. I'm just here to help you learn how to fight it Rebekah: This is rubbish (She's about to bite the girl but Stefan stops her and looks at the girl's neck, bleeding. He finally bites her and drinks her blood. Damon looks at Rebekah) Damon: I got it from here. Go ahead Rebekah: Night's just getting started Damon: Scram. No one likes a lurker Rebekah: You're a real ass, you know Damon: So I'm told (She leaves. Stefan is still feeding) Damon: All right, that's enough (He tries to stop Stefan) Damon: Come on. You're gonna bleed her dry. You're gonna drain her. Come on. I said that's enough (He stops him and takes the girl. Stefan's angry) Damon: Hey, you wanna fight hunger, or you wanna fight me? (He bites his wrist and makes the girl drink her blood) Damon: I got you. That's a good girl (Elena and Matt pass by. They stop) Elena: What are you doing? (Stefan turns himself. He has blood all over his mouth. Elena seems horrified) Elena: Stefan Stefan: Elena Elena: What are you two doing? Damon: Relax, Elena. Just a little experiment. There's no need to make this more dramatic than it needs to be (Matt catches Elena) Matt: Elena, let's just go. Elena! (They leave. Stefan looks at Damon) Damon: So... That's gonna take a little time (Stefan leaves) Damon: Stefan. Wait. Hey. Stefan, wait [Gilbert's House] (Elena and Matt are in the kitchen) Elena: Just say it Matt: I just don't get it, your thing with them Elena: I know it doesn't make sense. But at the beginning, after my parents died, there was something about being with Stefan that just... Felt safe Matt: Safe? Elena, he's a vampire Elena: I know, believe me. Just saying it out loud sounds crazy, but... It's like I knew that he would never stop loving me, like he would never... Matt: What? Elena: Die. Like he would never die Matt: Like your parents did. And Damon? Elena: Damon just sort of snuck up on me. He got under my skin, and no matter what I do, I just... I can't shake him Matt: Once you fall in love with someone, I don't know if... I don't know if you can ever shake 'em Elena: I'm sorry. Is... is this weird? Talking about them with you? Matt: No. Not really. I got you something (He takes the journal from his pocket) Elena: The journal? Matt: It's your family's. You should have it. Meredith and that idiot deputy were too busy questioning you to give a damn about me. Sometimes it pays to be the only normal one in a town of vampires. Practically invisible (Alaric arrives. She gets up and rejoins him) Elena: Are you ok? Alaric: Yeah. Yeah. I'm all right (They embrace each other) [Salvatore's House] (Stefan is sitting in front of the fireplace. Damon enters) Damon: They let Ric go. Sheriff Forbes said she's out of suspects again, but Ric is in the clear. I know it may not seem like it, but... You did really well tonight. I mean, before you know it, you're gonna be the king of moderation. Elena will understand Stefan: Doesn't really matter what Elena thinks Damon: Uh-uh. None of that. No more no humanity Stefan. There's a road called recovery, and we are on it (Stefan gets up) Stefan: Why do you even care, huh? The whole brother-bonding thing, getting Elena to hate you. Why, you feel guilty because you kissed her? Is that it, Damon? Because you can stop. Go back to hating me. It was a lot easier Damon: Can you for one minute actually believe that I'm trying to help you? Stefan: I don't need your help Damon: Don't need my... Are you kidding me? Do you remember what happened last time you said that? Stefan: What are you talking about? Damon: 1912, Stefan, the last time I convinced you to drink human blood Mystic Falls, 1912 (Damon and Stefan are under the tent, in front of the ring. Looking at women) Damon: Go ahead, Stefan. Pick one Stefan: They're people, Damon Damon: Yes, they are people, Stefan, people with blood pumping through their veins, waiting to be opened up and sucked dry. You've just forgotten how good it feels. So had I, but Sage, she reminded me... It's worth it. It's all worth it (Sage fights a man. He falls on the ring. He's bleeding. Stefan looks at him) Damon: Not him, Stefan. Not him... Her (hey look at Mrs Lockwood) Damon: Her. She's the one Stefan: I don't do that anymore Damon: But you can, Stefan. We can. Let the past be the past. Have a drink with me, brother (They're outside. Stefan is drinking from the woman. Damon looks at him) Damon: I knew you still had it in you. Don't be greedy (Damon tries to drink but Stefan pushes him) Damon: Stefan. Stefan (Stefan drinks so hard that he decapitates her) Stefan: Oh, my God. Oh, my God (He catches the head) Stefan: I'm sorry Damon: Stefan, stop (Stefan tries to put the head back on the body) Stefan: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Damon: Stefan, stop (He tries to stop him but Stefan pushes him) Stefan: What did you do to me?! (He looks at the body and gets up) Damon: You just need to learn when to stop. I can help you Stefan: I don't need your help (He leaves) Nowadays [Salvatore's House] Damon: The founders council killer had nothing on you. By decade's end, they were calling you the ripper of monterey. I let you walk away. I watched you go over the edge, and I didn't do anything to stop you Stefan: You couldn't have Damon: Sure, I could have. But I just didn't want to. But I want to now. Whenever you go too far, I will be there to pull you back, every second, every day till you don't need m Stefan: Why? Damon: 'Cause right now... You're all I got [Gilbert's House] (Elena is reading Samantha's Gilbert journal. Alaric arrives) Alaric: Hey, I was gonna make some coffee Elena: I'm good. Gonna head to bed in a few Alaric: Hey, listen, Elena. The, uh... The sheriff told me about everything you did today, and... While I appreciate it, I don't want you getting in trouble because of me, ok? Elena: If not for you, for who? Alaric: Well, still, I... I'm the one who's supposed to look after you, even if I suck at it Elena: Ok, well, how 'bout we just agree to take care of each other, then? Alaric: Heh. Deal. What are you reading there? Elena: Old family journal Alaric: Any juicy family secrets? Elena: It's hard to tell. I mean, at first, I thought it was Jonathan Gilbert's journal, but it ended up being his granddaughter's, who apparently went just as crazy as he did, so great genes, huh? Alaric: Well, at least you have something to look forward to Elena: Good night, Ric Alaric: Good Night [Salvatore's House] (Damon is playing piano. Stefan arrives with a book in his hands) Stefan: So I, uh... I dug into the old family archives from the early 1900s Damon: So now you want to be helpful Stefan: Want me to go back to being mad at you? Damon: What'd you find? Stefan: Well, nothing from 1912. They never did arrest anyone for the founders' murders, but they did get a confession 10 years later Damon: They did? Who? Stefan: Jonathan Gilbert's granddaughter Samantha. They assumed she was crazy, locked her up in an insane asylum Damon: Then what? Stefan: Trail ends there. I mean, she was a founder. You know they like to look out for their own Damon: Samantha Gilbert. That is very weird Stefan: Why? Damon: Because I'm pretty sure I had already killed her [Gilbert's House] (Someone knocks on the door. Alaric opens. It's MEredith) Meredith: I know what this looks like Alaric: Yeah? Well, I sure as hell don't. You shoot me, you have me thrown in jail, and then you have me freed Meredith: I did it for you, Ric. I forged the coroner's note to clear your name Alaric: Oh. You know what? People are right. You are psycho Meredith: Yeah... Now that you've been cleared, they'll look somewhere else. They won't look your way again. Please, you have no reason, but I need you to trust me anyway. If you let me in, I can explain (Elena is in her bedroom, reading Samantha Gilbert's journal) Samantha Gilbert: I don't feel like myself. I am losing time... As though I am going mad [Salvatore's House] Stefan: So you think Samantha Gilbert's still alive, running around Mystic Falls, killing founders? Damon: It's not possible. If she became a vampire, we'd know about it, right? Stefan: Well, then she must have had a ring that brought her back to life. I mean, she was a... a Gilbert, right? Those rings are passed on through generations Damon: Yeah, but even if she had a ring, she wouldn't be alive today. Doesn't protect her from old age Stefan: Jonathan Gilbert only made two of those rings. Jeremy has one of 'em, and the other is... Damon: Alaric's [Gilbert's House] (Alaric is looking at Brian Walter's file) Meredith: Like the sheriff said, the victims were killed with your weapons (We see a flashback from when the body was discovered and when Caroline discovered her father and then when Liz showed him and Elena the murder weapon) Alaric: Yeah, but I was attacked Meredith: With your own knife, a wound that could have been self-inflicted Alaric: It's impossible. I would know if I were killing people Meredith: Would you? Have you had any blackouts, instances of lost time? Alaric: Y-you're insane Meredith: No, but I think you might be. You wear a ring that lets you cheat death, Ric. How many times can you die before it changes you? I think you're sick, and I want to help you. This has happened before almost 100 years ago (Elena's here. Meredith and Alaric look at her) Alaric: Elena Elena: Ric, I think she's right (She has Samantha Gilbert's journal in her hand) Mystic Falls, 1912 (Zachariah Salvatore is walking alone. Samantha Gilbert arrives and stabs him. She's wearing the ring)	Plan: A: 1912; Q: In what year was Zachariah Salvatore murdered? A: a council member; Q: What was Zachariah Salvatore? A: jail; Q: Where was Alaric put after he came at Meredith with a knife? A: Sheriff; Q: Who puts Alaric in jail? A: Mystic Falls; Q: Where were the murders that reminded Damon of the past? A: Damon; Q: Who tells Stefan that he already killed Samantha Gilbert? A: flashbacks to 1912; Q: When did Stefan and Damon attend Zachariah's funeral? A: flashbacks; Q: What is the term for the time period in which the events of the present day are compared to the events of 1912? A: Stefan; Q: Who did Damon convince to drink human blood? A: the White Oak tree; Q: What does Rebekah search for in town? A: the Salvatores; Q: Who does Rebekah need to find the White Oak tree? A: a beautiful vampire; Q: What is Sage? A: Sage; Q: Who is Cassidy Freeman? A: Elena questions Meredith; Q: Who reveals she knows more about Alaric's past than Elena? A: Matt; Q: Who gives Elena the Gilbert journal? A: Meredith's apartment; Q: Where did Elena and Matt find a secret box of files on the Council members? A: a woman; Q: What does Sage show Damon is not only a prey, but also a pleasure? A: the original Jonathan Gilbert's granddaughter; Q: Who did Matt and Elena find a Gilbert journal that belonged to? A: his urges; Q: What does Damon want to learn to fight? A: death; Q: What does the coroner's office send an error about time of? A: a Ripper; Q: What does Stefan turn into after drinking human blood? A: present time; Q: When does Damon pledge to help Stefan? A: Samantha Gilbert; Q: Who confessed to the murders in 1922? A: the Gilbert ring; Q: What did Meredith say Alaric was responsible for the murders? Summary: In 1912, Zachariah Salvatore, a council member is murdered in the same way they have been in present day. Flash forward, Alaric has been put into jail by the Sheriff after Meredith said he came at her with a knife and she had to shoot him. The present-day murders in Mystic Falls remind Damon of a similar crime spree a century earlier. In flashbacks to 1912, Stefan and Damon attend Zachariah's funeral and learn he was not the first council member murdered. Rebekah searches for the White Oak tree in town and she needs the Salvatores to find it. Damon recalls a beautiful vampire, named Sage ( Cassidy Freeman ). Elena questions Meredith, who reveals she knows more about Alaric's past than Elena does. Elena and Matt break into Meredith's apartment and find a secret box of files on the Council members. Sage shows Damon a whole new way to exist: a woman is not only a prey, but also a pleasure. Matt and Elena find a Gilbert journal that belonged to the original Jonathan Gilbert's granddaughter, but Meredith came home before they could search more and she catches them. Rebekah and Damon follow Stefan as Damon feeds on a girl, trying to force him into feeding on a woman in order to learn how to fight his urges. Elena and Matt find Stefan feeding on the woman but Matt pulls her away. Elena and Matt go back to her house, where Matt gives her back the Gilbert journal. Alaric is released from jail after the coroner's office sends an error about time of death. In 1912, Damon convinces Stefan to drink human blood, but Stefan kills the woman and turns into a Ripper. In present time, Damon pledges to help Stefan in a way he did not in the past. Stefan reveals Samantha Gilbert confessed to the murders in 1922, but Damon says he already had killed her. Meredith comes to explain herself to Alaric, saying that it was him that committed the murders all because of the Gilbert ring.
5:30pm - 5:55pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: EXT. ISLAND (A small rocky island sits on a vast ocean, ringed by a beach. Almost featureless, its most distinguishing feature is a tall pyramid that stands in the centre of the island. The TARDIS silently materialises on the beach.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. TARDIS CONSOLE ROOM (The crew are gathered around the console. Although SUSAN and BARBARA have changed their clothes, IAN still wears the Chinese costume that he acquired during their previous adventure.) IAN: Any radiation, Doctor? DOCTOR: No, nothing to speak of. The counter's hardly reading anything. Shall we take a look? BARBARA: Pity you don't have a colour television. DOCTOR: Oh, but I have. BARBARA: Where is it then? DOCTOR: At the moment it's, er, temporarily hord-a-comba... (His companions laugh. The DOCTOR switches on the scanner.) BARBARA: Oh look, that's the sea, isn't it? (The scanner shows a view of the beach and the still sea.) SUSAN: Yes and sand! Grandfather, I wonder where we are? IAN: Well, one things for sure - we're not at Southend! (They laugh.) SUSAN: Grandfather, can we go and have a look? Can we? DOCTOR: Yes, yes, I don't think... I don't see why not. There's nothing... no danger about. SUSAN: Good. DOCTOR: Come on, lets go and have a look. (SUSAN opens the doors. All except IAN turn to leave.) IAN: (Unsure.) No. DOCTOR: (Turning back.) What? IAN: Well, I thought when you switched the scanner on ... I thought I saw something move up there... Oh, probably just a shadow. DOCTOR: Well let's go outside and have a look. (They exit the TARDIS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: EXT. BEACH (Outside four small transparent torpedo like objects travel silently through the water and slide onto the beach. The arrival of three of them is steady and sure but the fourth lands a small distance from its companions and its passage onto the beach is sluggish - as if it is encountering difficulties.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: EXT. BEACH (The time travellers walk out onto the beach, the DOCTOR carrying his walking stick. The rocks around them are unusually jagged. They look towards the sea.) SUSAN: It is the sea. Why, it's beautiful! IAN: Yes, absolutely calm. Not even a ripple. BARBARA: It isn't frozen, is it? DOCTOR: No, impossible in this temperature, besides, it's too warm. SUSAN: Grandfather, do you think it's safe to go for a swim? DOCTOR: Oh, no, no, no, not at the moment, child. However inviting that water looks, we don't know what sort of creatures may be lurking beneath its' surface. (They walk further down the beach. After they've gone, a figure emerges from behind a rock. It is humanoid, apparently dressed in a black wetsuit complete with flippers. It wears a helmet that completely obscures its face and from the front of which a black protuberance emerges, rather like a simple sort of aerial.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: EXT. BEACH (Further up the beach ... ) BARBARA: It's so quiet! IAN: Yes, it is. No birds or anything. BARBARA: And there's nothing growing. DOCTOR: (Walking to them with some pebbles.) I say, what do you make of this, Chesterton? Fascinating, aren't they? IAN: (IAN holds one and hurts his fingers on the sharp edges.) It's glass! DOCTOR: Yes, yes, it is, isn't it. Glass instead of sand. Intriguing. Intriguing, my boy! (He laughs.) IAN: Do you think the sand turned into glass. DOCTOR: Or was the glass put here deliberately, and if so, why? (SUSAN is near to them and has found a rockpool.) SUSAN: Mmm, there's a lovely pool over here! If I can't swim, at least I can paddle. (She starts to take her shoes off placing them on the rock edge. BARBARA runs up and accidentally knocks one of them into the pool.) BARBARA: Oh, oh, sorry Susan. SUSAN: Never mind, I'll get it. You going to come in? BARBARA: No. SUSAN: (About to put her feet in the water.) Now I'll go ... IAN: (Shouts.) No, Susan! Don't! (In the pool, the shoe is dissolving into a cloud of bubbles. SUSAN hugs BARBARA in fright.) BARBARA: Ian, what is it? IAN: Must be some sort of acid. BARBARA: But it was so fast. It just seemed to dissolve. SUSAN: (Sobbing.) And I was going to paddle in it... BARBARA: It's alright, Susan, it's alright. Look, you've got some more shoes back at the ship, haven't you? (SUSAN nods.) BARBARA: Well go and put them on. We'll wait here for you. SUSAN: Alright. IAN: Here, you'd better take my boots. (He starts taking his boots off.) SUSAN: I can't put those on, they're much too big for me. BARBARA: Ah, come on, it's better than cutting your feet open on this glass. IAN: Here. (IAN hands his boots over and SUSAN starts to put them on with difficulty.) SUSAN: Alright, better fill them up with sand, hadn't I! IAN: Alright? SUSAN: Yeh. IAN: Give you lovely corns, they will! (SUSAN laughs.) (SUSAN heads off back to the TARDIS muttering something about the boots as she goes.) BARBARA: (Realising.) Ian? IAN: Mmm? BARBARA: This is a tidal pool. IAN: I agree. It rather ties up with the glass beach, doesn't it? BARBARA: Then everything out there is acid too. A sea of acid! [SCENE_BREAK] 6: EXT. BEACH (The web suited figure is examining the TARDIS and especially its lock when it is forced to hide as SUSAN approaches and enters the ship.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: EXT. BEACH (The DOCTOR has joined IAN and BARBARA.) DOCTOR: Sea of acid, Mmm. Astonishing. You know, in all my travels I've never come across anything like this before. However, Susan wasn't harmed anyway. BARBARA: No, she was a bit frightened at losing her shoes but she's gone back to the ship for another pair. DOCTOR: (To IAN.) Yes, and if you'd had your shoes on, my boy, You could have lent her hers. You mustn't get sloppy in your habits, you know. (IAN laughs not thinking it worth while to argue when suddenly the DOCTOR spots something behind him, further along the beach.) DOCTOR: Good gracious! (It is three of the transparent torpedo objects. They crouch down beside the nearest to them.) BARBARA: It looks like a glass torpedo. IAN: Or a one-man submarine. Well, it's certainly designed for going under the water. (BARBARA wanders a short distance away.) DOCTOR: Under acid, more likely. IAN: Yes. I don't know whether it's occurred to you Doctor, but this means this place is inhabited. DOCTOR: Oh yes, it has occurred to me. Let's see what it is, lets ... (He starts to try and undo the end of the first submarine.) DOCTOR: Help me... Help me get this top off. BARBARA: (Further down the beach.) Doctor! DOCTOR: Yes? BARBARA: There's another one over here... and there's something inside it! [SCENE_BREAK] 8: EXT. BEACH (Meanwhile SUSAN has left the TARDIS. Out side she finds a trail of footprints which lead towards the centre of the island.) SUSAN: Grandfather! (There is no reply. Intrigued, she follows them, unaware that the web suited figure has come out of hiding behind a rock and is following her.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: EXT. BEACH (The others are crouched over the fourth submarine.) DOCTOR: See that crack along there? That's where the acid must have seeped in. (IAN has by now managed to open it.) IAN: That's got it, now let's have a look at you. DOCTOR: Yes, er, use that (He passes IAN his walking stick.) IAN: Mmm? Oh, alright. (IAN puts the stick into the submarine and uses the handle to grasp and pull out a wetsuit - similar to the one worn by the creature now following SUSAN.) BARBARA: It's a protective suit! DOCTOR: Yes and whatever it was wore it is similar to a human being. Hmm? IAN: Yes but how did it get out? It seems to be perfectly intact. BARBARA: I don't think it did get out. There's a tear in the material here. IAN: You mean the acid got in? Poor devil. DOCTOR: Yes well, I think we ought to go back to the ship and try and find Susan. She should have caught up with us by now. Come along! (As they turn to go back, IAN suddenly spots the pyramid on the horizon.) IAN: Look at that fantastic building! DOCTOR: Good! Good! Now perhaps we might learn who it is uses these strange ships. Anyway, let's go back to the ship and find Susan. Later, perhaps, a little visiting, I think. (He laughs) IAN: Yes. (They set off across the beach.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: EXT. PYRAMID (SUSAN has arrived at the base of the pyramid. After glancing up towards the apex she sets off along the passageway that surrounds it, unaware that around the next corner, the web suited figure is poised with a dagger.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: EXT. BEACH (BARBARA walks out of the TARDIS.) BARBARA: She isn't inside anywhere. DOCTOR: Oh, wretched child. Now where's she got to, I wonder? (BARBARA points to the ground.) BARBARA: Ian, there are your boots! (IAN picks them up and starts to put them on.) BARBARA: There are Susan's footprints in the sand here. DOCTOR: Yes, sand here and glass on the beach. I'm beginning to think that sea of acid is a defence barrier. IAN: Except against glass submarines, eh Doctor? BARBARA: What you mean is, that all visitors are unwelcome? DOCTOR: Yes, it would seem so. IAN: We must find Susan. She may have gone to have a look at that building. DOCTOR: Yes, yes. [SCENE_BREAK] 12: EXT. PYRAMID (SUSAN approaches the corner of the pyramid, still unaware of the web suited figures' presence. Without warning, the section of wall behind the figure rotates and it falls silently inside. Seconds later, SUSAN passes by without suspecting a thing.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: EXT. PYRAMID (The rest of the TARDIS crew have reached a different side of the pyramid. IAN and BARBARA look up in awe.) IAN: Whew! It's enormous! BARBARA: Look at the joins in the blocks, Ian. IAN: Yes, no mortar! Must have been built with tremendous accuracy. BARBARA: Yes, the Egyptians did the same thing. So did the Indians of Central and Southern America. IAN: A precise distribution of certain weights. That's the key, isn't it? BARBARA: Yes. It's marvellous, isn't it? IAN: Marvellous. DOCTOR: Yes well, before you two get carried away, I think we'd better go and find Susan. Mmm? BARBARA: Yes, you're quite right. IAN: Well, for a start let's make a circle of this place. DOCTOR: Excellent, now I suggest we go different ways and meet back at the furthermost point which is probably round the corner there somewhere, off you go, off you go now. (They head off in different directions.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: EXT. PYRAMID (SUSAN leans back against the wall of the pyramid to tie her shoelace. Suddenly, it swivels round and, screaming, she falls into the pyramid.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: EXT. PYRAMID (IAN and BARBARA hear the scream.) BARBARA: Did you hear that? IAN: Yes, it was Susan, come on! [SCENE_BREAK] 16: EXT. PYRAMID (The DOCTOR does not seem to have heard the scream. Stopping to rest he leans back against the wall of the pyramid and, like before, it rotates and he disappears inside.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: EXT. PYRAMID (IAN and BARBARA come to the next corner. IAN motions BARBARA to keep back as he peeps round the corner. He starts forward in surprise and steps into the open. BARBARA also looks round the corner. There is, of course, no one there.) BARBARA: I could have sworn I heard her. IAN: We certainly heard something. Well can't be sure it was Susan, of course. BARBARA: Well I am sure. IAN: Yes but where's the Doctor? Even if he'd been travelling at half speed he should have reached that far corner by now. [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. PYRAMID. PASSAGEWAY (Inside the pyramid, SUSAN continues walking along, nervously. Unseen by her, the web suited figure is hiding behind a pillar, still clutching the dagger. A man dressed in white monk-like robes with a hood appears at the end of the passageway from which SUSAN has just come. As SUSAN backs away the man retreats down the passageway. The web suited figure grabs SUSAN from behind and she screams. Suddenly it collapses with a dagger in its back. The robed man returns and starts walking towards SUSAN.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: EXT. PYRAMID (IAN and BARBARA are no nearer to finding their companions. BARBARA is sat on the floor.) BARBARA: Well there's only one thing to do. That's another circuit of the walls. IAN: I've just been all around, I can't find a door anywhere. (He walks round the corner.) BARBARA: Well I suppose there's every chance she didn't come this way. She's probably back at the ship, waiting for us. (There is no reply.) BARBARA: I said, she's probably back at the ship, waiting for us. (Still no reply.) BARBARA: Ian? Ian! (She peers round the corner to see that there is no one there.) BARBARA: Ian! (BARBARA steps back and, once again, the wall revolves, forcing her into the pyramid. This time, however, a robed figure can be seen briefly in the opening.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. PYRAMID. PASSAGEWAY (IAN walks down the passageway that SUSAN was in earlier. He sees the stabbed creature on the floor and stops to examine it before proceeding.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. PYRAMID. CELL (The DOCTOR, SUSAN and BARBARA are talking in a cell.) SUSAN: (Distressed.) ...dreadful. The wall just seemed to swallow me up. And then this ... this man grabbed me and the next thing I knew he fell dead in front of me. BARBARA: Man? DOCTOR: Yes, yes, from what Susan has described he was wearing a suit similar to the one we found on the beach. BARBARA: And are these the ones that live here? DOCTOR: No, no. The man wearing the monk's habit lives in this building. BARBARA: So the men from the glass submarines are intruders like us. DOCTOR: Yes, with one difference, which is puzzling but relieving. They died, and we are only prisoners. BARBARA: Well maybe we're to be killed too. DOCTOR: Mmm, I shouldn't worry too much about that. That young schoolmaster friend of yours is very resourceful. Whilst he is free our chance of rescue is still good. BARBARA: Well that's just it, Doctor. He isn't free. He was captured before I was. (The DOCTOR'S face falls.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. PYRAMID. PASSAGEWAY (As the robed man walks down the corridor, another wet suited figure lunges at him. Running to his rescue, IAN tackles the creature and manages to evade the knife. The man is observing this from the other side of the passageway. As IAN forces the creature around and into an alcove, the stranger pulls a lever. The wall behind the creature falls away and it topples backwards, with a scream, falling into a huge pool of acid down below. The wall slides back into place.) MAN: (Gasping for breath.) Why do you protect me? IAN: Are you a prisoner here? MAN: In a way, I ... can never leave here but in a way, this is my home. IAN: Where are my friends? MAN: Safe. I saw your machine materialise. Until I knew otherwise, I had to treat you as potential enemies. The Voord were trying to penetrate the walls. IAN: The Voord? MAN: The man you just saved me from was a Voord. It is many years since their last assault but now they have returned and if they continue to come, they're bound to succeed eventually. IAN: I should've thought this place was impregnable. How many of you defend it? MAN: How many? (Sighs.) I am alone. But please ... let us release your companions and then I ... I'll try to explain. IAN: Good idea. (They turn a corner and pass through a doorway, which the man shuts behind him, unaware that they are being trailed by another VOORD.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. PYRAMID. CONSCIENCE ROOM (A large glowing machine dominates the room. It is pentagonal and appears to be made of a transparent material with struts reaching to the ceiling, floor and walls. The man who is called ARBITAN and the TARDIS crew are talking.) DOCTOR: Yes, yes, I want to know more about this planet. Your technology, you say, reached its peak over two thousand years ago? ARBITAN: Yes and all our knowledge culminated in the manufacture of this. (He gestures towards the machine.) ARBITAN: At the time it was called the Conscience of Marinus. Marinus, that is the name of our planet. At first this machine was simply a judge and jury that was never wrong and unfair, and then we added to it, improved on it, made it more and more sophisticated until finally it became possible to radiate its power and influence the minds of men throughout the planet. They no longer had to decide what was wrong or right. The machine decided for them. DOCTOR: I see, then in that case it was possible to eliminate evil from the minds of men for all time. ARBITAN: That is exactly what happened. Marinus was unique in the Universe. Robbery, fear, hate, violence were unknown among us. Yes, yes. For seven centuries we prospered and then a man named Yartek found a means of overcoming the power of the machine. [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. PYRAMID. PASSAGEWAY OUTSIDE THE CONSCIENCE ROOM (They are unaware that a VOORD is crouched by the door, eavesdropping on their conversation.) ARBITAN: (OOV.) He and his followers, the Voords, were able to rob, exploit, kill, cheat. Our people... [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. PYRAMID. CONSCIENCE ROOM ARBITAN: ...could not resist because violence is alien to them. IAN: But surely by this time this machine had become a great danger to you. If it'd fallen into the hands of the Voords they could've controlled Marinus, why didn't you destroy it? ARBITAN: We always hoped to find a way of modifying it and making it again irresistible, so instead of destroying it we removed the five key micro-circuits. IAN: What did you do with them? ARBITAN: One of them I kept. There it is. (He points to a small transparent slim circuit board inside a similar shaped cavity in the machine.) ARBITAN: The other four were taken and put in places of safety all over Marinus. Only I know where they are. And now the time has come when they must be recovered! BARBARA: Well, why don't you simply make new keys? ARBITAN: The keys are very simple but the micro-circuits inside are very complicated. A permutation of numbers and signals that would take a thousand years to unravel. And besides, since the keys were hidden, I have worked on this machine and modified it so that when they're replaced... DOCTOR: (Interrupting.) ... when they're replaced it would mean that your machine is irresistible and you could overcome and control the Voords again? ARBITAN: Yes. DOCTOR: Mmm. IAN: Surely there must be someone you can send for these keys? ARBITAN: (Thoughtful.) Through the years all my friends, all my followers have gone. They have never returned. Last year I sent my daughter. She has not come back. All I have now to comfort me is the ... distant echo of her voice ... the imagined sound of her footsteps. But now your coming has brought new hope ... oh yes ... yes ... (He points at the travellers.) ARBITAN: You must find the keys for me! (They look at each other in shock.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26. EXT. BEACH (IAN and BARBARA approach the TARDIS.) BARBARA: Ian, wait a minute. IAN: Mmm? BARBARA: The Doctor's miles behind. IAN: Oh. BARBARA: I don't know about you but I felt terrible leaving that old man. We seemed to be his last hope. IAN: Yes, I wish there had been something we could have done for him. (SUSAN and the DOCTOR catch up with them.) SUSAN: Oh, come on, grandfather! DOCTOR: I'm coming, child, don't rush, I'm coming. (To IAN and BARBARA.) Well, well, don't just stand there, come along, come along, keeping me waiting. (The others laugh and follow. Just in front of the TARDIS he suddenly stops in his tracks. There is a strange humming noise.) DOCTOR: (Mutters something then.) What... (He seems to press solid air. So does IAN as he comes forward. The two women join them.) BARBARA: What is it? (She feels the air in front of her.) IAN: It's some sort of invisible barrier! What do you make of it, Doctor? DOCTOR: I don't know, I don't know, there's no substance here. (To SUSAN.) Have a look round the side, child, go along. (SUSAN traces it around the TARDIS.) BARBARA: It's like an invisible wall. DOCTOR: Is it a circular barrier? SUSAN: It's goes all the way round. There aren't any corners to it. DOCTOR: No, of course, there wouldn't be. No, the molecules would be at their weakest. (He gives out a triumphant laugh.) DOCTOR: It's fascinating, Chesterton. Yes, I've got it, I've got it! Do you know, I think a force barrier has been thrown up around the ship! (Suddenly, ARBITAN'S voice echoes around them.) ARBITAN: (OOV.) I am sorry you have forced me into keeping you from your ship. But your refusal to help me left me no alternative! IAN: (Shouting.) Arbitan! Where are you? ARBITAN: (OOV.) That is not important. If you help me find the keys of Marinus I will let you have free access to your machine... when you have delivered all the keys to me. If not, you will stay on the island without food or water. The choice is yours. IAN: (Shouting.) Choice? What choice? (There is no reply.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. PYRAMID. CONSCIENCE ROOM (ARBITAN is showing IAN and BARBARA a map of Marinus.) IAN: Well, at least we know the rough location of the keys. Now all we have to do is get them. ARBITAN: As soon as you've started your voyage I will release the force field. Your ship will be available to you when you return. BARBARA: If we return. DOCTOR: (Angrily.) I know we have no choice but this whole affair is, is outrageous! Blackmail! Pure and simply blackmail! IAN: Oh, Doctor, don't let's go through all that again. Let's just get on with the job. ARBITAN: Perhaps you will bring me news of my daughter. I miss her, yes, I miss her. DOCTOR: And another thing. If you think I'm going to travel across that acid sea in one of these primitive mer ... er, submersibles you're very much mistaken. ARBITAN: To think of asking you to travel in such an absurd way! DOCTOR: Oh. ARBITAN: No, I am going to give you a device which will enable you to move from place to place. DOCTOR: (Uninterested.) Oh, Really. ARBITAN: The principle is much the same as that of your ship... (He hands BARBARA a device. It looks like a watch with a dial where the face should be.) ARBITAN: Place that around your wrist, please. ...that you have told me about. Except this will enable you to cross space, not time. (ARBITAN hands out the travel dials.) IAN: What, this little thing? DOCTOR: Oh, don't be ridiculous, my boy, this is a perfectly acceptable method of travel. Very compact and very neat, sir, if I may say, yes! ARBITAN: They are all programmed to the same destination. You have only to twist the dial ... once. BARBARA: Like this? (She twists the dial and disappears.) SUSAN: (Alarmed.) Barbara! (IAN runs up to the spot where she was standing , followed by the DOCTOR and SUSAN.) IAN: What...? (To ARBITAN.) What have you done to Barbara? ARBITAN: You must not waste time, you must follow her quickly! One final word, if, when you return, you find the Voord have taken this building, do not let them get the keys! You understand? Destroy them! Now, now, twist the dials. (The rest of the TARDIS crew do so and they also disappear.) ARBITAN: For the sake of all my people, I hope you succeed. (He moves over to the machine. A VOORD silently crosses the room. ARBITAN turns around only for the VOORD to stab him in the back. He cries out and collapses.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. PASSAGEWAY (The DOCTOR, SUSAN and IAN fade into view in front of what appears to be an elaborate latticed wall.) DOCTOR: Ha ha, oh, how exhilarating! (The DOCTOR and IAN laugh.) SUSAN: Yes but where's Barbara? She should be here by now. (Calls.) Barbara! Barbara! (IAN spots something on the ground.) IAN: Oh, it's Barbara's travel dial. (He picks it up. His face suddenly grows alarmed.) IAN: Look! There's blood on it!	Plan: A: The TARDIS; Q: What ship arrives on the planet Marinus? A: the planet Marinus; Q: Where does the TARDIS arrive on an island of glass surrounded by a sea of acid? A: The travellers; Q: Who is forced by the elderly Arbitan to retrieve four of the five operating keys to a machine called the Conscience of Marinus? A: the keeper; Q: What is Arbitan's role in the Conscience of Marinus? A: their own sinister purposes; Q: What do the evil Yartek and his Voord warriors plan to use the Conscience of Marinus for? Summary: The TARDIS arrives on the planet Marinus on an island of glass surrounded by a sea of acid. The travellers are forced by the elderly Arbitan to retrieve four of the five operating keys to a machine called the Conscience of Marinus, of which he is the keeper. These have been hidden in different locations around the planet to prevent them falling into the hands of the evil Yartek and his Voord warriors, who plan to seize the machine and use its originally benevolent mind-influencing power for their own sinister purposes.
2.21 - Lorelai's Graduation Day OPEN IN STARS HOLLOW [Lorelai and Rory are walking down the sidewalk] RORY: Where is this place? LORELAI: It's not too far. RORY: You've been saying that for miles. LORELAI: It has not been miles. RORY: My feet are sore. LORELAI: Hey, Tonto, when did you become older than me? RORY: Just tell me what this new breakfast place is and then I'll be quiet. LORELAI: It's an amazing new mystery place that I found and that's all I'm telling ya. RORY: Just tell me if it's in this town or the next. LORELAI: We don't patronize the next town. RORY: Since when? LORELAI: I don't know, didn't they feed lead to our jumping frog or something? RORY: Oh yeah, right after they stoned the woman who won the lottery. LORELAI: See, so the boycott's legit. LANE: [runs up behind them] Hey, wait, stop! LORELAI: Oh look, it's Michael Landon. LANE: Oh my God, you guys walk fast. I've been chasing you for the past two blocks. RORY: Hey, we were being followed. LORELAI: I told you I wasn't just being paranoid. Maybe next time you'll take me seriously when I tell you furniture moved itself. LANE: Where are you guys going? RORY: Mystery breakfast. LANE: Out of town? LORELAI: Does no one remember the definition of the word mystery? LANE: Sorry, I was just wondering if it's okay to practice on your pots and pans again this morning? LORELAI: It's not like they have any other use. LANE: Thanks. I've almost nailed the fill in the Ramble On. I just have to stop hitting my face with the sticks when I pull my arms back. RORY: John Bonham had that same problem. LORELAI: Key's in the turtle. LANE: Enjoy your mystery breakfast. [walks away] LORELAI: Come on, it's not much farther. RORY: We're not heading toward any businesses of any kind. [Lorelai stops walking] What? LORELAI: We have arrived. RORY: Arrived where? [looks up] Aw, you are without shame. CUT TO INSIDE SOOKIE'S HOUSE [Lorelai and Rory are sitting at the table as Sookie serves them breakfast] RORY: Sookie, you do not have to do this. SOOKIE: What do you mean? Feeding my girls, making them happy, I love doing this. LORELAI: Yeah, so feel the love and pass the salt. RORY: It makes me feel guilty. LORELAI: Eating can help drown that. SOOKIE: Yeah, yeah, eat, eat. I'm gonna eat. RORY: Gee, can the help sit at the table too? LORELAI: As long as they don't sing folk songs or tell bawdy stories. Hey, what's with Narcoleptic Nate over there? [Jackson, who is leaning against the counter with his eyes closed, moans] SOOKIE: He's not much of a morning person. [Jackson moans] LORELAI: Now say, I can't believe I ate the whole thing.' SOOKIE: It takes him about an hour to become Jackson. [Jackson moans] LORELAI: Ooh, hey, I had a good idea for the wedding. SOOKIE: Cool. LORELAI: Instead of those little wrapped things with Jordan Almonds at every place setting, what if we wrap up a few aspirin? SOOKIE: Aspirin? LORELAI: For the morning after hangovers. SOOKIE: That's funny. LORELAI: Cause Jordan Almonds are so done. Huh, Jackson what do you think aspirin over almonds? [Jackson moans.] LORELAI: Can we take that as a yes? SOOKIE: No. See, everything eventually registers. He'll chime in on this in a couple of days. RORY: Days? SOOKIE: Days. LORELAI: Hey, is Jackson in the house? Let me here you say unh. JACKSON: Unh. LORELAI: A new toy. RORY: Shameless. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Lorelai is studying at the kitchen table as Rory walks out of her bedroom] RORY: How's it going? LORELAI: I hate these books, hate them. RORY: Now now. LORELAI: Agh! See that? They're trying to escape they hate me, too. RORY: Your books don't hate you. LORELAI: Ugh, Rory, my brain is full. It has reached capacity. It's Shea Stadium when the Beatles played. It's cramped and girls are screaming and I think George is fighting with Ringo. RORY: You have a very active head. LORELAI: I simply cannot ingest anymore information. RORY: So take a break. LORELAI: I don't have time. RORY: Close your eyes, clear your head. LORELAI: No, because clearing my head just means that all the knowledge I have painstakingly stuffed in there will leak out. In order to make room for stuff, I lose stuff. It's a very vicious circle. RORY: I'll make some coffee. LORELAI: I hate finals. RORY: Nobody likes finals. LORELAI: Thank God I'm graduating and this is the last time I have to cram like this because my pursuit of higher education has led me to a very interesting discovery about myself. Do you wanna hear it? RORY: Sure. LORELAI: I despise academics. Yup, learning, knowledge, it's all worthless. I have no idea in what you see in any of it. RORY: Learning is fun, plus for me there's that whole "I'm a minor so it's mandatory" thing. LORELAI: That's what kills me this is self-inflicted. I'm a masochist. I might as well be carrying a switch and periodically lacerating myself with it. RORY: That diploma hanging on the wall is going to make this all worthwhile, trust me. LORELAI: I guess, unless I turn into John Nash and start drooling on people. RORY: Hey, you're graduating. LORELAI: I know. RORY: No, you're graduating there is gonna be a ceremony. LORELAI: Oh, I don't know. It's community college. RORY: Well, community colleges have ceremonies. LORELAI: My community college doesn't even have a lawn, they won't necessarily have a ceremony RORY: They must. Did you ask? LORELAI: No. Well, now that you mention it, I think someone said something about some cheesy ceremony for my business class. RORY: When is it? LORELAI: I don't know. . .next Thursday or something. RORY: That's great, you have to do it. LORELAI: I don't know. RORY: You have to do it. LORELAI: Really? RORY: Yes. You've never been apart of an actual graduation ceremony. LORELAI: I know. That's because my stupid conservative high school wouldn't let me be in the ceremony and nurse you at the same time. RORY: Don't be gross. LORELAI: Do you really think I should do it? RORY: Yes! You've worked hard for this, you've earned it. LORELAI: I guess. RORY: Come on, you know that deep down you really want to do this. LORELAI: Well, I'll admit, I've always wanted to wear one of those gowns. RORY: And the hat? LORELAI: For the tassel cause you know my thing for fringe. RORY: And they call out your name and people clap and you get your diploma. LORELAI: Oh, and then you do that thing where you move the tassel from one side to the other very symbolic, very dramatic. RORY: That's it, you're doing it. LORELAI: All right, if you insist. RORY: Okay, who do you wanna invite? LORELAI: I don't know, you. RORY: And? LORELAI: That's cool with me. RORY: Sookie and Jackson? LORELAI: Aw, that'll be fun. RORY: Okay. And Grandma and Grandpa? LORELAI: Oh, no. No no no. RORY: Come on, it's your graduation. They should be there. LORELAI: Forget it. RORY: But -- LORELAI: They won't want to be there. RORY: Of course they will. LORELAI: Rory, I was supposed to graduate from high school. Go to Vassar. Marry a Yale man and get myself a proper nickname like Babe or Bunny or Shih Tzu. RORY: Yes but -- LORELAI: Instead, I got pregnant. I didn't finish high school, I didn't marry your father and I ended up in a career that apparently Jessica Hahn would think was beneath her. RORY: That's not - . LORELAI: I humiliated them. The two proudest people in the world and I humiliated them. I spoiled their plans. I took their fine upbringing in a world of comfort and opportunity and I threw it in their faces. I broke their hearts and they'll never forgive me. I guess I can't expect them to. RORY: Maybe you're wrong about how they feel about all this. It was a long time ago. LORELAI: Rory, I don't want them to go. It'll just hurt them. . .and me, okay? RORY: Okay. You should get back to your studying. LORELAI: Fine. Oh, great. RORY: What? LORELAI: I think I've already forgotten everything I read in the last two hours. RORY: No, you haven't. LORELAI: Yes, I have. In fact, I may have forgotten everything that I've ever known. Child, what be your name? RORY: Study. CUT TO OUTSIDE [Lorelai, Rory, and Dean are walking through the center of town] LORELAI: Just explain the concept one more time. DEAN: And be mocked again? No, thank you. RORY: Come on. LORELAI: Yeah, maybe we're missing something. DEAN: Okay, you go to a special shooting range RORY: A skeet shooting range. DEAN: Right. There's two of you and the guy with the gun yells "Pull!" and then the other guy releases a clay pigeon from a machine into the air and so you try to shoot it. LORELAI: No, I don't think we're missing anything. DEAN: Yeah, I knew it. RORY: You shoot pigeons? DEAN: Clay pigeons. LORELAI: When you hit them, does blood come out? DEAN: They're clay. RORY: And why do you like to do this? DEAN: I don't know. My dad shot skeet when he was my age and so he wants to pass the tradition down. LORELAI: What if you accidentally hit a real pigeon? RORY: Yeah, does that count? DEAN: That's never happened. LORELAI: What if a clay pigeon hits a real pigeon, does that count? RORY: Yeah, does that count? DEAN: I've only done this once. LORELAI: Hey, if you get really good, do you move on to other animals like clay chickens and clay sheep? DEAN: You know, we didn't go skeet shooting, I just made it all up. LORELAI: [stops in front of the market] Oh, hey, I gotta go in here. RORY: Oh, what do you need? LORELAI: Just general stuff. You guys go and be in love. RORY: I'll see you back at the house. DEAN: Bye. RORY: What if you shoot the person who throws the pigeon up in the air? Would that count? CUT TO INSIDE DOOSE'S MARKET [Lorelai is shopping and runs into Luke.] LUKE: Oh. LORELAI: Dah. LUKE: Sorry. LORELAI: No, no, I should have signaled or honked or something, my fault. LUKE: Okay. LORELAI: Well, um, I guess it was inevitable us running into each other. It's a very tiny community. LUKE: Guess so. LORELAI: How's the diner? LUKE: It's still there. LORELAI: Yes, I knew that. I'm able to empirically with my eyes, uh. . .Hey Luke, do you think we could LUKE: I gotta get back. LORELAI: Okay, right, right. CUT TO INSIDE THE ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE [The doorbell rings] EMILY: I'll get it. [Emily opens the door] RORY: Hi Grandma. EMILY: Hello Rory. RORY: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. EMILY: I'm thrilled to see you on no notice. So, tell me, what's this about? You were so mysterious on the phone. RORY: I just wanted to talk to you about something in person. EMILY: Well, come in, come in. [Emily leads Rory to a lavishly set table.] RORY: Wow. EMILY: It's an English tea service. One the advantages of our having an English maid. That, and the fact that she speaks English. RORY: You didn't have to do this. EMILY: But it's tea time and I wanted to. . .oh no! Beatrice, I told you to doily line the plates! RORY: You don't have to doily line the plates. RICHARD: [calls from another room] Hello? EMILY: We're in the dining room. RICHARD: Oh, oh, Rory, you're already here. RORY: You're out of breath. RICHARD: I ran over from the office. RORY: Oh, you didn't have to run. RICHARD: Well, your grandmother said you had something to discuss with us. That certainly justifies a run. EMILY: All right, everybody, sit, sit. Pour the tea, Beatrice. RORY: Um, actually, Beatrice, could you hold off on pouring the tea for just a minute? Thank you very much. Grandma, Grandpa, I would like to propose an idea to you. Now, you can go for it or not, it's entirely up to you, but I would like for you to promise me that you will not get upset. EMILY: We won't get upset. RORY: And that you will try to keep an open mind. EMILY: All right. RORY: And that you will let me finish my presentation completely before you respond. EMILY: [to Richard] She's been hanging around you far too much. RICHARD: Rory, we accept your terms. Please proceed. RORY: Thank you. First, let me start by saying that Mom doesn't know that I'm here. She'd probably be pretty mad if she knew that I was, but I feel that this is important. As you know, Mom's been going to business school at the community college out here for three years now. EMILY: I believe she's mentioned it. RORY: Well, she's doing very well and she's finishing up. Actually, she's graduating Thursday, and there's going to be a ceremony and I think it would mean a lot to her if you guys were there. It may not seem like it would, but it's true. EMILY: Well, if it would mean so much to her then why didn't she invite us herself? RORY: Because she didn't think you'd wanna go. And I get that, but I think it's a mistake. I had a school thing once, and I wasn't sure if Mom would want to go so I didn't invite her. It was my kindergarten "Salute to Vegetables" pageant and I was broccoli and I did a tap dance with a guy that was playing beets and the entire number I was just thinking, "Mom's not here" and it was my fault that she wasn't there and, well, it was kind of a life lesson for me. Now, if the thought of going to Mom's graduation upsets you or makes you unhappy or uncomfortable in any way, then, please, don't go because this is an important night for Mom and if you go, you should go under the right circumstances. [pulls an envelope out of her backpack] Those are the tickets. It's Thursday, 7pm. It's indoors so weather's not an issue. You can use them or not, no hard feelings, do what you feel is best. And if you don't mind, I would really appreciate it if you would keep this conversation between the three of us. That's all I have to say, thanks very much for your patience. Now, I believe I have time for a scone before my bus leaves. EMILY: Beatrice, the tea, please. RORY: Emily, these look delicious. So, Richard, how was your day today? CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Lorelai is sitting on the coffee table with a drink as Rory reads on the sofa] LORELAI: I am feeling so good, sista, because it's over! No more finals, no more studying, no more school, the pressure's off. Do you know how much pressure I felt, do you? All last week I felt like a giant man and his brother were sitting on my chest. RORY: A giant man? LORELAI: And his giant brother. RORY: Did they have names? LORELAI: Clem and Clem. Huh, same names, which did not reflect well on the imagination of their mothers. RORY: Mother. LORELAI: Mothers. There were two Clems. RORY: Yeah, cause they were brothers. LORELAI: Yes, so they had mothers. RORY: Okay, you're drawing me into your drunken world. LORELAI: It's not a bad place to be, my friend. Mnh-mnh, tank's empty. [walks into the kitchen to get another drink] RORY: Hey, what is this? LORELAI: What? RORY: This, uh, Life Plan' book thing. LORELAI: A little gift for the grads from the happy people at Hartford Community College. Hey, how many margaritas is too many margaritas? RORY: Um, if you can't remember where the living room is. LORELAI: Ha ha, I'm still good. [walks back into living room] RORY: Okay, here's an interesting question for you "Have you given any thought to how children will work into your future plans?" LORELAI: Oh, well, uh, they're not gonna stand in my way, that's for sure. I mean, I plan to have some, of course, but I'm just gonna knock 'em out and, uh, have Nanny catch 'em and care for 'em, make sure Mick Jagger doesn't come anywhere near them and then just return them to me when they're twenty-one. RORY: Well, what about me? LORELAI: You are my favorite eldest child, you get to stay by my side. RORY: Oh, I feel so privileged. [Phone rings] RORY: I'll get it. LORELAI: Hey, now, if that's Mick Jagger, hang up and blow that whistle I gave you. RORY: [answers phone] Hello? JESS: Hi. [pause] Hello? RORY: Hi. JESS: Is this a bad time? RORY: Um, no, just hold on a sec? [to Lorelai] Um, the music. . . uh, I'll be right back. [Rory takes the phone to her room and closes the door.] Hi. JESS: You said that already. RORY: I did. You're right, sorry. JESS: So, what's up? RORY: Nothing. What about you? JESS: Same. RORY: So, what have you been doing? JESS: Nothin' much. Just hanging out. . . in the park, mostly. RORY: Central Park? JESS: Washington Square Park. RORY: Oh. JESS: It's cooler. RORY: Yes. JESS: It's where David Lee Roth got busted. RORY: Right, right. I hope he's got it together now. JESS: Sounds like you got a party going on there. RORY: No, it's just me and my mom. JESS: Right. Okay, well, I'm gonna go. This is long distance. RORY: Yeah, it is long distance. JESS: So, see ya. RORY: Yeah, see ya. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [On Thursday morning, Rory is getting ready for school in the living room as Lorelai runs around upstairs.] RORY: Mom? LORELAI: Ahh! RORY: What's wrong? LORELAI: I'm experiencing frustration. RORY: At the general state of things in the world or at something particular? LORELAI: What do you wear to a graduation? RORY: Cap and gown. LORELAI: Duh, I mean underneath. RORY: Whatever you want. The gown will cover it. LORELAI: It's more complicated than that. I don't want to overdress so that I'm sweating if it's hot in the auditorium but if I don't have enough on and it's cold, then I'll freeze. RORY: It is complicated, especially if you overthink it. LORELAI: And now I need a helpful comment. RORY: Take light layers. Wear your turquoise and tan dress that you just got that's cool and it'll look good without your gown on, and wear your turquoise vintagey sweater over it because it'll look great with the dress and it'll keep you warm if it's cold in the auditorium. LORELAI: You are a fashion genius. RORY: Well, you've taught me everything I know. LORELAI: My brain's not working today. RORY: You're excited, it's a big day. LORELAI: What time are you getting there? RORY: I have a bunch of newspaper stuff after school, but no later than six. LORELAI: And then we'll go out to eat after? RORY: Any place you want, and it's on me. LORELAI: You don't have to do that. RORY: You're the graduate. You get to be pampered. LORELAI: Okay, then I would like to go to Chateau Jean Georges la Jean Georges in Paris. RORY: I'll look it up in Zagats and book the Concorde. I gotta go. LORELAI: Okay, I gotta get ready. RORY: Wait, wait, I wanna see my little graduate one more time before the big event. LORELAI: What do you think do I look ready to make my way in the world? RORY: Yes, and if all else fails, you can marry rich. LORELAI: I love that we always have that option. RORY: Hey, what are you gonna do with your hair? LORELAI: I got the curling iron warming up. RORY: Mom, the cap! You put it on, its gonna -- BOTH: - smush the curls down. LORELAI: You are a genius. RORY: See you tonight LORELAI: Hey, try to seat us next to a celebrity on the Concorde, like Sting or Screech or someone. RORY: I'll try. CUT TO FRONT OF CHILTON [Rory is walking with Paris] PARIS: So I told her, "Look missy--" RORY: You called your advisor "Missy"? PARIS: It was attitudinal. I said I'm not taking AP calculus from Henemen. I'm going with Branch. Branch is a graduate of MIT and Henemen went to Berkley. Berkley! I mean, he may have majored in math but what did he minor in? Bean sprouts? Forget it. And I'm telling my advisor all this, Mrs. Schlosser, and I looked down in her trash can and there's this half-eaten banana in there. Nothing else. And I pictured her sitting in the shoe box of an office eating a banana all by herself and I almost felt sorry for her, but then she questioned my judgment about Berkley so I eviscerated her. I mean, she was welling up at the end, but she had the decency to hold it in until I was gone. I have enough faculty recommendations to run for student council, so I don't need her anyway. My locker's this way. [As Paris walks toward the building, Rory turns and goes back out the gates.] CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN KITCHEN [Sookie carries a cake into the room as Lorelai sits at the counter with her eyes closed] SOOKIE: Are they closed? LORELAI: They're closed. SOOKIE: Are you sure? LORELAI: I'm sure. SOOKIE: Okay, one second and open, open, open. LORELAI: Aw, you made me a tassel hat cake! SOOKIE: Filled with two pounds of crushed chocolate-covered espresso beans. LORELAI: You're evil. SOOKIE: And you're graduating. LORELAI: Yes I am, aren't I? SOOKIE: Here. Oh, hey, I brought those pictures you wanted to see of my high school graduation. LORELAI: Hand them over, lady. SOOKIE: Okay, but don't laugh. LORELAI: I promise. SOOKIE: I was younger then, not as refined. LORELAI: Ha, and you're stoned. SOOKIE: Totally. LORELAI: I thought you hated that. SOOKIE: It was peer pressure. At my school, if Gilbert Garcia offered you a toke, you took it or took off. LORELAI: Well, I think Gilbert had a snappy slogan. SOOKIE: Oh, I was nauseous all day. LORELAI: Your parents? SOOKIE: For the traditional parents-flanking-their-graduate shot. Don't they look proud? LORELAI: They do, very proud. [Michel walks into the kitchen] MICHEL: What is that? LORELAI: Oh, it's pictures of Sookie's high school graduation. What was your high school graduation like, Michel? MICHEL: It was dignified, as most French ceremonies are. Poetry was read, a string quartet played, a ballerina performed. LORELAI: You drank some Boone's Farm out of a boda bag and knocked a beach ball around? MICHEL: I don't understand half of what you said. LORELAI: That's why we work. [Cell phone rings.] LORELAI: [answers] Hello? CHRISTOPHER: Hey, Lor, how you doing? LORELAI: Christopher. I'm good, I'm excited. CHRISTOPHER: You should be, it's a big day. Did you get my present? LORELAI: What present? CHRISTOPHER: A basket. You should've gotten it by now. LORELAI: Hey, did a basket come for me? MICHEL: Mm, it came, it was heavy, I felt a twinge so I dropped it for health reasons. It's probably still intact. LORELAI: My crack staff has just informed me of its arrival. I'm going to find it. [walks into the lobby and sees the basket on a table] Wow! CHRISTOPHER: I put it together myself. LORELAI: And it's all for me? CHRISTOPHER: All for you. LORELAI: Chris. . wow. [starts looking through the basket] Ha! A twenty-five dollar savings bond. CHRISTOPHER: That's a long-term investment. Don't touch it for thirty years, you're looking at forty-five dollars. LORELAI: Ooh, a youth hostel card. CHRISTOPHER: For the young girl who doesn't mind sharing a bathroom with fifty strangers. LORELAI: "What Color Is Your Parachute? A Practical Manual for Job Hunters." CHRISTOPHER: Helping you answer the two questions: what do you want to do and where do you want to do it? LORELAI: A DVD of The Graduate, gotta have that. Ooh, The Portable Nietzsche. CHRISTOPHER: Light, cheery reading. LORELAI: An application to join the Armed Forces. CHRISTOPHER: Well, if your dreams don't pan out and Nietzsche's no help, it's a viable option. LORELAI: And something in a nice little velvet box. Ooh, a necklace, and the pearl almost looks real. CHRISTOPHER: Well, it better look very real, because it is. LORELAI: That's not funny. CHRISTOPHER: This is not a funny gift. LORELAI: Christopher, this is extremely not funny. This is totally humorless. It's. . .it's beautiful. CHRISTOPHER: I think you're awesome, Lor. With everything you do and raising Rory the way you did, you're superwoman. LORELAI: Wow. CHRISTOPHER: Have a great day. I wish I could be there. Take lots of pictures for me. LORELAI: Ugh, the camera, I forgot the camera. CHRISTOPHER: Look in the basket. LORELAI: [pulls out a disposable camera] Oh, you thought of everything. CHRISTOPHER: Have a great night. LORELAI: Thanks, you too. Bye. CUT TO BUS STATION [Rory gets off the bus and looks around. She walks out of the station and onto the crowded sidewalk.] RORY: Could you. . .um, excuse me, sir, do you know. . . do you know where Washington. . .excuse me, ma'am. . .Washington Square Park? WOMAN: End of Fifth. RORY: Thank you! [to someone else] Excuse me, where's Fifth? CUT TO WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK [Jess is reading on a bench as Rory walks up behind him] RORY: Hi. JESS: How ya doing? RORY: Good, how about you? JESS: Good. You hungry? RORY: Starved. JESS: I know a place. [They walk off together.] CUT TO NEW YORK STREET [Jess and Rory are walking down the street] RORY: I feel very urban today. JESS: Oh yeah, the plaid just screams urban. RORY: I think I look like a native. JESS: How well do you know Manhattan? RORY: I've been here a few times. We saw The Bangles here. JESS: When was that, twenty years ago? RORY: It was a reunion and they were great. JESS: Yeah, they're okay. RORY: And a couple years ago Mom drove us in to shop, and she couldn't find a good parking place and all of the parking lots were a total rip-off, so she kept making U-turns and cutting off taxis and we were being screamed at in so many different languages that we just turned around and drove home and bought a Hummel at the curio store in Stars Hollow. JESS: How very adventurous. RORY: I'm just saying I'm no stranger to the Big Apple. JESS: You are if you're calling it the Big Apple. RORY: So I don't have the lingo down yet, but at least I have the attitude. JESS: You do, huh? RORY: Oh yeah. When I was getting a locker for my backpack at the bus stop, there was this guy and he was just standing there staring at me and instead of ignoring him I just fixed him with a really withering stare. JESS: That I've got to see. RORY: No. JESS: Oh, come on, let me see your withering stare. RORY: It's dangerous. I could hurt you. JESS: I've been hurt before. RORY: No. JESS: I'm disappointed. So your arm's okay? RORY: Yeah, it looks worse than it is. JESS: [Looks at Rory's cast.] I like this Emily chick. Friend of yours? RORY: She's a friend to all of us dispossessed. JESS: So here's our lunch place. RORY: A hot dog stand? JESS: Hey, I eat here everyday. It's nothing fancy, but - RORY: No, I love it. It's perfect. JESS: Good. [to hot dog vendor] One with everything on it. RORY: Make that two, please. JESS: So, uh. . .how's - RORY: Luke? JESS: Yeah. RORY: Okay. He went fishing. JESS: Fishing? RORY: Yeah. He didn't catch anything though. JESS: Probably used the wrong bait. RORY: Yeah, that's a common fishing blunder. JESS: So he's good? RORY: Yeah, he's good. I can tell him hello for you if you want. JESS: Whatever. RORY: [to hot dog vendor] Thank you. [takes a bite] Oh, my God, this is really good! JESS: I'm glad you like it. So how much time you got? RORY: I got a bit. JESS: There's a record store you should check out. It's run by this insane freak who's like a walking encyclopedia for every punk and garage-band record ever made. Catalog numbers. . .it's crazy. The place is right out of High Fidelity. RORY: Let's go. JESS: Okay. RORY: Where you going? JESS: Subway. RORY: I thought we were gonna walk. JESS: It's fifteen blocks. Come on, I think you'll like it. RORY: Do they allow hot dogs in the subway? JESS: You are so an out-of-towner. [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE [Lorelai walks into the auditorium, then follows a sign to the graduate check-in room.] LORELAI: Excuse me, hi, I'm one of the graduates. MAN: Wow, you're hours early. LORELAI: Yeah, well, I just wanted to beat traffic and have time to get ready and relax, and also, I've heard the early bird gets the unwrinkled gowns without the mysterious stains in them. MAN: This is true. Take your pick. LORELAI: Thank you. This is so exciting. Isn't this exciting? MAN: This is my eighth year of doing this. LORELAI: So, not so exciting for you, got it. [As Lorelai looks through a rack of gowns, Emily walks by the open door. Lorelai catches a glimpse of her] LORELAI: Huh. [Lorelai thinks for a moment, then goes into the auditorium to see if it was really Emily] EMILY: [to cameraman] You're being so cryptic. Do you need a power source or not? RAUL: Look, my batteries are all fully charged. It just depends on how fast they deplete. EMILY: So, we need one just in case? LORELAI: Mom. EMILY: Lorelai, it's hours before the ceremony. What are you doing here? LORELAI: Um, I'm just getting. . .I'm sorry, what are you doing here? How do you even know about this? EMILY: I shouldn't know about this? A mother can't know about this? LORELAI: No, I just mean - EMILY: You're graduating. LORELAI: I know. EMILY: So, we're here to see you graduate. This is Raul. LORELAI: Hey. So, you and Raul are just here to see me graduate? EMILY: Don't be silly. Your father will be joining me later. LORELAI: My father? EMILY: Yes, remember him? Tall, bow tie. LORELAI: I remember Dad, Mom. I just. . .ah, Rory told you. EMILY: Yes. That's okay, isn't it? It's a little late if it's not. LORELAI: Oh, no, it's perfectly fine that you're here, absolutely. I'm just surprised. [to Raul] Who are you? RAUL: I'm Raul. EMILY: I just told you that. LORELAI: Yes, well, did Rory invite Raul, too? EMILY: Raul is my cameraman. LORELAI: Cameraman? EMILY: He's going to be filming the ceremony for us. He's very talented. He screened an independent film of his as an audition, "Welcome to Scab Land." It was disgusting, but beautifully photographed. RAUL: It was supposed to be disgusting. LORELAI: I'm sure it was. Mom, all this stuff. . . MAN: Excuse me, all of this equipment, it can't be here. EMILY: Well, obviously we're not going to leave all of this equipment here for everybody to trip over. We're not cretins. LORELAI: She's handling it. Right, Mom? You're handling it. RAUL: Okay, this lighting sucks! EMILY: Can we do something about the lighting? MAN: I don't think so, ma'am. I don't know. EMILY: [to Raul] It's a community college, we'll just have to cope. Think documentary. LORELAI: Mom, please. People will be showing up here soon. You can't -- EMILY: Lorelai, I am perfectly capable of handling this. No one will be inconvenienced. LORELAI: Okay, I'm just gonna let everyone deal with all this because I need to relax and get a cup of coffee and maybe hammer a nail into my head. EMILY: You're not needed here, Lorelai. Go get your coffee, relax. You're going to redo your makeup later, aren't you? LORELAI: Maybe an Irish coffee. CUT TO NEW YORK RECORD STORE [Rory and Jess are looking through the records] JESS: I haven't even heard of half these bands. RORY: I love that about this place. God, Lane would wanna live here. JESS: Who's Slim? RORY: I don't know. OWNER: Grunge band out of Kentucky. Two albums, plus a double-A side single, disbanded in '94. JESS: Thanks. RORY: [looks through the records] Oh my God! JESS: What? RORY: Look! [shows him a record] JESS: Go-go's. You must have that one. RORY: No, for my mom. This was her favorite group when she was my age, and it's signed by Belinda. This would be the perfect graduation present. I've been looking for something all week long, and I couldn't find anything and now I have Belinda. JESS: Graduation? RORY: Oh, from college, from business classes. JESS: I'm surprised she has time for anything except lighting darts on fire and throwing them at my picture. RORY: Well, it's not a lot of time, but . . . JESS: Uh-huh. Go on, get it. She'll like it. RORY: Thank you so much for bringing me here. This was fate. JESS: Yes, it was. RORY: And in return, I just might show you my withering stare. JESS: I'm a lucky man. CUT TO BUS STATION [Rory and Jess are walking toward her bus] RORY: I think this one's mine. JESS: Yup, the sign says Boonesville. TOURIST: Excuse me, I'm so sorry to bother you. Which way is 44th? RORY: Oh, um, that way. TOURIST: Great, thanks. RORY: I got asked directions. JESS: I saw. RORY: He took me for a native. That's so cool. JESS: That's very impressive. 44th's the other way. RORY: Oh no. JESS: Sorry. RORY: Oh, man, I should go find him. JESS: He'll figure it out when he sees all the numbers getting smaller instead of bigger. RORY: He still thought I was a native. That's cool. JESS: I'm your witness. RORY: Well, I should go. JESS: Okay. RORY: I gotta go to my mom's graduation. JESS: And give her Belinda. RORY: And give her Belinda. JESS: Go on. I'll check on the guy, I'll make sure he's not wandering around looking for 44. [Rory boards the bus and looks at Jess through the window.] JESS: Why did you come here? [Rory opens the window.] RORY: What? JESS: I said, why did you come here? RORY: Well - JESS: I mean, you ditched school and everything. That's so not you. Why'd you do it? RORY: Because you didn't say goodbye. JESS: Oh. Bye, Rory. RORY: Bye, Jess. CUT TO GRADUATE CHECK-IN ROOM [Lorelai is fixing her makeup near the chalkboard. She sneezes and stirs up a cloud of chalk dust.] LORELAI: Great, I'm Woody Allen in Annie Hall. LIZA: You thought ahead. Smart. LORELAI: Oh, the mirror? Yeah, I never leave home without all the essentials: mirror, makeup, picture of Shaun Cassidy. I'm done. Do you want to use it? LIZA: Thanks. Oh, don't I look charming? LORELAI: Oh, you look great. LIZA: I've looked better. I had to run here straight from work -- Kinko's. ZACH: Hey, Liza, that gets me thinking maybe you and I oughta do a little reproducing after the ceremony. LIZA: Clever. ZACH: Don't be a snot. LIZA: Shut up! [to Lorelai] That's my boyfriend, Zach. LORELAI: Oh, sure. LIZA: Of course, we're breaking up 'cause we're transferring to different schools. He's going to Florida State, I'm going to UMass. . .although I'm kinda going to miss this place. ZACH: I'm not. This place stunk. It's Bush League. LORELAI: Why'd you go here? ZACH: My parents, wise investors that they are, couldn't afford anything else. LIZA: Yeah, I guess that two-point-zilch grade point average didn't reason into things. ZACH: Shut up. LIZA: Between the lines. ZACH: Go die. LORELAI: Are you sure you two don't wanna give it another go, 'cause you're darling together. LIZA: Thanks for the mirror. LORELAI: My pleasure. LIZA: Hey, a bunch of us are going to Shakey's afterwards for a pizza. You wanna come? LORELAI: Aw, I'm going out with my daughter after, but it sounds like fun. ZACH: Okay, you guys are not going to believe this. There's some blue-blooded rich woman out there setting up professional film equipment like she's shooting a movie or something. LORELAI: You're kidding. LIZA: Whose mother is it? ZACH: I don't know. Little Precious must be around here somewhere though. LIZA: I hate people with money. ZACH: So do I, with every fiber of my being. LORELAI: Me too. Money people, ugh. CUT TO BUS [Rory's bus is still at the station. She walks up to the bus driver.] RORY: Excuse me? DRIVER: Yes? RORY: Are we leaving soon? DRIVER: I have no idea. RORY: Well, should you have an idea? DRIVER: There was an accident, closed the interstate. All outbound buses were told to stand down. RORY: Oh. And you don't know when we're going to be allowed to stand up again? DRIVER: Soon, I hope. I hate missing dinner. RORY: Yeah. . .me, too. CUT TO GRADUATE CHECK-IN ROOM [Sookie and Jackson walk over to Lorelai] SOOKIE: There's our little graduate. Oh, my God, look at that gown. You look just like the Statue of Liberty. LORELAI: Ah, all big and stony? SOOKIE: No, you look amazing. LORELAI: Hmm. You look very G.Q. JACKSON: Oh, thanks to my best new friend Ermenegildo Zegna. SOOKIE: Don't you love how he can pronounce it and all? LORELAI: Very Cosmopolitan. SOOKIE: He got it for the rehearsal dinner. It's his first real suit. JACKSON: And not my last. I look hot! LORELAI: Mmm. SOOKIE: So, you know that Emily's out there, right? LORELAI: Oh, shh! SOOKIE: Why shh? LORELAI: It's a long story. Just do me a favor? SOOKIE: Sure. LORELAI: Keep an eye on my parents, make sure they don't disrupt anything, my mother doesn't behead anyone, my father doesn't snore too loudly when he falls asleep. SOOKIE: They're not gonna do anything like that. LORELAI: I'm sorry, have you not met them? SOOKIE: Why would they come and do that? LORELAI: They're here because Rory invited them. SOOKIE: No. LORELAI: Yes! They can't say no to that little face. It's like hitting a puppy with a rolled-up newspaper. ZACH: Hey, you guys are not gonna believe this. LIZA: You're Mr. Announcement Guy today. ZACH: What, are you going to pipe in every time I talk? LIZA: Can it! ZACH: Stuff it! LORELAI: They're in love. SOOKIE: Clearly. ZACH: So, Mrs. Got Bucks out there not only has a cameraman, she's got a sound guy, too. LORELAI: [quietly] Oh, no. ZACH: It's like a Baz Luhrmann movie out there. SOOKIE: [quietly] That's Emily, right? LORELAI: Shh! LIZA: Rich people feel so entitled. LORELAI: Yeah, damn them! ZACH: I swear, I saw her wipe her face with a hundred dollar bill. LORELAI: We should line them up against a wall, you know what I'm saying? WOMAN: Is Lorelai Gilmore here? LORELAI: Yes. WOMAN: Oh, good. Have a look at these, will you? [shows her a box of corsages] LORELAI: Wow! SOOKIE: Pretty. WOMAN: Look them over and take your pick. LORELAI: What for? WOMAN: To wear. LORELAI: Are they for sale? WOMAN: No, they're paid for. These are from your mother, Emily Gilmore. LIZA: Wow, ritzy. LORELAI: I really don't want to wear a corsage. WOMAN: They're all paid for. LORELAI: Really, it's too much. WOMAN: Your mother wants you to pick one. LORELAI: Really, it's okay. WOMAN: She'll just come back here herself. LORELAI: This one, thanks. WOMAN: Good choice. The cameraman said that would look best on film. ZACH: So you're the rich girl. LORELAI: Maybe. I'm not rich but . . .my parents have money, but I'm totally self-sufficient. I take nothing from them, except this corsage. . .and my daughter's tuition. So, you gonna stone me? ZACH: I should have guessed. Look at her friends, they're wearing suits that drip money. JACKSON: Hey pal, this was thirty percent off! LIZA: So, that's why you didn't want to get pizza, 'cause it's below you? LORELAI: Oh, no, no, no, Liza, pizza is not below me. Believe me, I love pizza. I eat tons of pizza. It's one of my four major food groups: candy, popcorn, and pizza see? It's two of my food groups, that's how much I love pizza. LIZA: I want to believe you. ZACH: Enjoy your champagne and caviar at The Ritz, Your Highness. LORELAI: I am not rich! Ugh! [Pager beeps] My pager. JACKSON: Maybe the suit was a little much. SOOKIE: You're a fox, now don't start. LORELAI: [reads pager] Oh, no. SOOKIE: What? LORELAI: Rory's running late. SOOKIE: Late from what? LORELAI: It doesn't say. It says she's definitely going to be here but if she's not here by seven, she'll sneak in the back. That's weird. SOOKIE: She'll be here, don't worry. LORELAI: I hope so. SOOKIE: How 'bout we sit in back, keep an eye out for her, and we'll save her a seat? LORELAI: That'd be great. Oh, can you hang onto all my stuff for me? I don't want to leave it in here. SOOKIE: Will do. LORELAI: Thank you. Bye. ZACH: Oh, you don't trust your valuables around us poor kids, huh? LORELAI: Knock it off, Zach! CUT TO BUS [Rory's bus makes a stop and some people get off] SEATMATE: You don't look happy. RORY: I'm late. SEATMATE: Buses are the worst. RORY: Why are we making so many stops? The bus didn't make stops on the way into the city. SEATMATE: Oh, that was probably an express. This is a local makes a lot of stops. RORY: I should have checked the schedule. I should have checked traffic. Note to self: impulsive definitely does not work for me. [notices seatmate holding a soda can to his lips] What are you doing? SEATMATE: Hmm? Oh, uh, it's for my spit. RORY: Your what? SEATMATE: From my smokeless. CUT TO GRADUATION CEREMONY [A speaker on stage is calling the graduates up] SPEAKER: Victor David Fuller. . . Nancy Brenda Gatson. . . [Zach sees Lorelai looking around the room.] ZACH: Making sure the camera's getting your best side, princess? RICHARD: [whispers to Emily] Are you telling me that that is the best commencement speaker they could scrounge up? EMILY: I hope Raul's getting enough shots of Lorelai. I don't want the whole damn ceremony and none of her. RICHARD: Oh, no, I disagree. I hope he gets every inspired word articulated by the East Coast Marketing Director of Pup n' Taco. EMILY: Raul! [As Emily points to the stage, Raul and the sound guy rush down the aisle.] SPEAKER: Joanne Garver... [Raul shoves the camera in Lorelai's face.] LORELAI: Oh, geez. Oh, we're, oh, we're going. . . SPEAKER: John Lawrence Gilfer. . . Lorelai Victoria Gilmore. . . Gretchen Greeman. . . [Emily and Richard look on proudly as Lorelai accepts her diploma and moves her tassel to the other side of her cap.] CUT TO AUDITORIUM [After the ceremony, Lorelai walks up to Emily and Richard] LORELAI: Hey, Mom, Dad. EMILY: Lorelai. LORELAI: Well, I did it. RICHARD: Yes. EMILY: Raul thinks he got some good footage. RICHARD: I should hope so. He certainly cost enough. LORELAI: I'm sure it'll be great. EMILY: Congratulations, Lorelai. LORELAI: Thank you. I'm glad you guys came. EMILY: Yes, well, we should get going. I guess we'll see you tomorrow for dinner. [they start to leave] LORELAI: Hey, wait. Aren't we going to take a picture? EMILY: Excuse me? LORELAI: The three of us, me in the middle with the gown, you know the traditional pose. RICHARD: Well, uh, we don't have a camera with us. LORELAI: Hold on. [pulls the disposable camera out of her pocket] EMILY: That's a camera? LORELAI: That's a camera. RICHARD: That looks like a toy. LORELAI: Um, Raul, would you mind? [they pose together] So. . . RAUL: Okay, on the count of one, two, three, cheese! [takes picture] LORELAI: Thank you. EMILY: Yes, well, tomorrow then. LORELAI: Absolutely. EMILY: Let's go, Richard. RICHARD: I'll be right there, Emily. [hands Lorelai an envelope] Congratulations. LORELAI: Oh, you don't have to do this. RICHARD: Put it towards something fun. LORELAI: Thank you, Daddy. [Emily and Richard leave as Sookie and Jackson walk over] SOOKIE: Hey, we're so proud of you! JACKSON: Yeah, you were great up there. LORELAI: Thanks, you guys. Where's Rory? No Rory? SOOKIE: She called your cell and I answered and she said she got hung up on something or other and she'll see you at home. LORELAI: Hung up? Hung up where? Is she okay? SOOKIE: She said she's fine. She's sorry, but fine. LORELAI: Oh. Well, as long as she's okay, I guess. Um, well, I should probably get the gown back. Thanks for coming, Sook, Marcus Schenkenberg. SOOKIE: You wanna go out to eat? Celebrate a little? LORELAI: No, I think I'll just go home to Rory. SOOKIE: I thought so. See you tomorrow. LORELAI: Thanks. JACKSON: Wait a minute. . .aspirins instead of Jordan Almonds? But we already bought the almonds. SOOKIE: Wow. Now that's the longest anything's ever taken. JACKSON: My family's not gonna get the joke. Can't we just use the almonds? SOOKIE: Okay, sweetie, calm down. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Rory is waiting out front as Lorelai pulls into the driveway.] RORY: I'm so, so sorry. LORELAI: You're okay, right? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: Everything's working? Your wrist is okay, nothing new is broken? RORY: I'm fine. LORELAI: Anyone you know, like Lane or someone, suddenly get sick today or break an arm themselves or get in a car wreck? RORY: No. LORELAI: Okay, good. Then I can get past worry and move onto other things. RORY: I know you're hurt. LORELAI: Yeah, you bet I'm hurt. Rory, I really wanted you there today, more than anything. You're why I did this stupid thing in the first place. RORY: I know. LORELAI: It was a once in a lifetime thing. You should've been there. My best friend should've been there. Whatever it was that kept you, you should've gotten out of it, at least this once. Was it school? RORY: It wasn't school. LORELAI: Was it Paris? RORY: It wasn't Paris. LORELAI: Well, what was it? RORY: It was so stupid. LORELAI: Well, Rory, where were you? What happened? RORY: I cut school! LORELAI: You what? RORY: I cut school and I got on a bus and I don't even know why I did it. I. . .I have no excuse. I was just standing outside of Chilton, and I don't know, I must have had a stroke or something. What does a stroke feel like? LORELAI: I don't know. Not good, probably. RORY: And I left school and I got on a bus and I went to New York. And that's it! I'm grounded for six months, or seven, and no TV, no stereo, no reading. In fact, take all of my books away from me and lock them up. LORELAI: Hold on here. You went to New York? RORY: And no magazines, either. And I'm going to do all of the housework. Laundry, dishes. . . in fact, we're going to start eating at home so that we have dishes. LORELAI: Rory. RORY: What? LORELAI: Stop. Why did you go to New York? RORY: To see Jess. LORELAI: Boy, do you know how to bury the lead. RORY: I don't know what happened. LORELAI: You went to New York to see Jess. RORY: It was the stroke! It made me someone else, and after his phone call last night - LORELAI: That was him? RORY: It did something to me, I don't know what. In fact, you should take the phone away from me, too. That's right, add it to the list. No books, no music, no phone. LORELAI: Okay, Rory. . . RORY: I'm a horrible person. LORELAI: You're not a horrible person. RORY: I am sick, I'm ill, I'm cracked. This is not who I am. If I were to write this down in my diary and I would read it, I would be like, Who is this freak? This isn't me. This isn't my diary. I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't skip school when I have finals coming up to go see a guy that isn't even my guy and end up missing my mother's graduation, which I wanted to be at so badly. That's someone else. That's someone flighty and stupid and dumb and girly. And, I mean, I missed your graduation, which is the worst thing I could have possibly done. I mean, I hurt you and I had to spend hours on a stinky bus next to a guy that was spitting into a can, just thinking about all of the minutes that were going by that I wasn't at your graduation and they were hurting you, and they should have been hurting you because it was so selfish of this person who wasn't me to do what she did. LORELAI: Okay, my God, take a breath. RORY: I don't deserve a breath. No breaths. You should add that to the list. You should beat me, ground me, take the phone away and deprive me of air. LORELAI: Okay, look, nobody wants to say this any less than me, but I - maybe you don't have a medical condition or a mental problem. Maybe, honey, you are falling for Jess. RORY: No. LORELAI: Well - RORY: No, I love Dean. Dean is my boyfriend. He will always be my boyfriend. That's it. Forever. LORELAI: Well, maybe not forever. RORY: Yes, forever. I love Dean and Jess is gone now and everything's going to be good again. Everything's going to be all right. LORELAI: Rory, you cut school. RORY: Yeah, I know. LORELAI: You got on a bus and went to a strange city in your uniform to see Jess. RORY: I know. LORELAI: Well, that doesn't mean nothing. That means something. I mean-- RORY: No! I don't want to talk about this anymore. The only thing I want to talk about is the list I made on the bus of all the ways I'm gonna make this up to you. You get total control over the remote and the stereo for as long as you want. Total control over takeout food choices and a special surprise present every day for a month and -- oh my God! I left your present on the bus. LORELAI: What present? RORY: It was a vinyl copy of The Go-Gos original album and it was signed by Belinda, but it's not the only copy and I'm gonna find another copy. That's going on the list, too. LORELAI: Okay, honey, please. Forget about the list until tomorrow. RORY: Okay, I'll just go to bed then and...I'll go to my room. LORELAI: Hold on one second. Does this mean I have to eat alone? RORY: Well, it's up to you. Sending me to bed without supper, you can't lose with that punishment. It's a classic. LORELAI: I'd rather go out with my daughter tonight. RORY: I don't deserve it. LORELAI: No, but I do. RORY: Okay, just let me take a shower and get the horrible smell of this horrible day off of me, and then we'll go anywhere you want, my treat, and I won't enjoy it. And then we'll come home and I'll go straight to bed and I'll have a terrible night's sleep, okay? LORELAI: Sounds great. RORY: I'm so, so sorry, Mom. LORELAI: Oh, really? 'Cause you didn't make that clear. RORY: I won't be long.	Plan: A: Lorelai; Q: Who is shocked to see Emily, Richard and the film crew at Rory's graduation? A: Rory; Q: Who is furious with herself when she takes the wrong bus home and misses her mother's graduation? A: breakfast; Q: What do Lorelai and Rory have at Sookie's to avoid Luke's? A: an awkward encounter; Q: What does Lorelai have with Luke at Doose's Market? A: her hints; Q: What does Luke fail to pick up on when Lorelai tries to patch things up with him? A: final exam stress; Q: What is Lorelai going through? A: her college graduation ceremony; Q: What does Lorelai get excited about attending? A: the next day; Q: When does Rory cut school to visit Jess? A: Manhattan; Q: Where does Rory visit Jess after a late night phone call? A: Christopher; Q: Who sends Lorelai a graduation gift basket? A: her graduation; Q: What event does Lorelai attend with Emily, Richard and the film crew? A: an attitude; Q: What does Lorelai's classmate have about the rich? A: her protests; Q: What does Lorelai ignore when she realizes that Rory may have fallen in love with Jess? Summary: Lorelai and Rory have breakfast at Sookie's in an effort to avoid Luke's, but Lorelai can't avoid an awkward encounter with him at Doose's Market, where he fails to pick up on her hints to patch things up; in an effort to help Lorelai through final exam stress, Rory gets her excited about attending her college graduation ceremony and secretly invites Richard and Emily, despite Lorelai's assertion that they'd never agree to attend; after a late night phone call from Jess, Rory impulsively cuts school the next day and visits him in Manhattan; Christopher sends Lorelai a graduation gift basket filled with fun goodies and an expensive necklace; Lorelai is shocked to see Emily, Richard and the film crew accompanying them to her graduation, and must contend with an obnoxious classmate with an attitude about the rich; Rory is furious with herself when she takes the wrong bus home and misses her mother's graduation; when Rory finally arrives home, Lorelai forgives her when she realizes that the trip to New York may indicate that her daughter has fallen in love with Jess, despite her protests to the contrary.
Angel sits alone in the dark in his office. Doyle comes in and turns the light on, causing Angel to blink form the sudden light. Doyle: "Hey, you know, maybe we should go over this thing again of you getting out in the world and involving yourself with people. It's Friday night. It's the most social night of the week! A couple of lookers like us should be out there enjoying the nightlife. Not sitting here in the dark like some kind of..." Angel: "... some kind of vampire?" Doyle: "Well, yeah. - I was going to say Slacker, but, yeah, to you, Mr. Obvious. - You got to come out, man!" Angel: "Why?" Doyle: "Because we deserve a night of fun, don't you think? I mean, it breaks up those nights of death and mayhem. Plus we could toast the new business, you know, the three of us." (whistles tilting his head towards the outer office) Angel, getting up: "Yeah, Doyle, if you want to ask Cordelia out, just do it yourself." Doyle: "I don't even know if she likes me, man, unless you put a word in for me, you know, just tell her what a great guy I am!" Angel: "I barely know you." Doyle: "Perfect. That should make it easier for you then." Cordelia, walking in the outer office: "Hello." Doyle: "You know, I am... when you're talking me up to her, don't let her in on that me being half demon. Because, you know, women can be a little funny about that." Cordelia, walking in: "They're finally in." Doyle, to Angel: "There in." Doyle goes to stand next to Cordy. Angel: "Okay...?" Cordelia: "Your cards." Doyle: "The cards." Cordelia: "Your calling cards to leave with people so they know how to reach you." Doyle: "Great idea! Calling cards. It's not like you have a signal folks can shine in the sky when ever they need help, you know?" Angel, taking a card: "Hey, look at that, there is our number. It's right next to a... a um... a... a butterfly ?" Doyle, looking at Cordy's face then back down at the card he is holding: "It's obviously not a butterfly, you idiot. It's a... a bird. No, no, wait, it's an owl. A... a bird that hunts at night. Brilliant! It's a... a..." Cordelia: "It's an angel!" Angel: "An angel. Right. It's an angel!" Doyle, to Cordy: "Brilliant. So obvious and so clever on so many levels... " Cordy: "Oh, shut up!" She hits Doyle in the chest with the back of her hand. Doyle, doubling over with pain: "Oh, jeez..." Cordy taken a back: "Come on, don't be such a baby. I barely hit you." Doyle moans and kicks the desk then falls back, throwing the cards up in the air. Angel, jumping to grab him: "He, hey, hey, Doyle!" (Flash to out of focus scenes of a dance club.) Angel: "Are you okay, man ?" Doyle: "Yeah, I'm okay." Angel: "What did you see ? What did you see ?" Doyle: "It's a bar. Uh, I think I recognize it. It's one of those terminally... stuck-in-the-eighties places." Angel: "Yeah, and ?" Doyle: "That's it. No faces popped out at me, man. Just, just a feelin'" Cordy: "What feeling ?" Doyle: "Something's gonna happen." Angel, after a beat: "Looks like you got your wish. Looks like we're going out after all." *** Cut to the entrance of a nightclub named D'oblique. *** A girl with long blond hair sits at the bar looking unhappy. A dark haired guy comes up to her and points at the empty stool next to her. Kevin: "May I ?" Sharon: "What ? Oh, sure, sure." Kevin: "Kevin." Sharon: "Sharon." Kevin: "God, I just hate places like this, don't you ?" Intro. *** Cut to the bar. *** Kevin and Sharon have moved to a table. Kevin: "When I was a kid I thought: you grow up, you meet her, and everything sort of falls into place." Sharon: "Yeah, I had that... Only I had a him, where you had a her. Actually I just had a Ken and Barbie." Kevin: "Ken and Barbie had it easy. They never had to come to places like this. But you've got to try. I mean, what if she was here and you missed her because you were - I don't know - too burned out to still believe ? - You know what I mean ?" Sharon, nodding: "I know exactly what you mean. You have to believe that someday you're going to meet someone special." Kevin: "I think I have... Oh, god. I can't believe I just said that! I mean, I think you're special... but it just sounded so... " Sharon: "No, it sounded nice... Kevin." (Camera pans to Angel, Cordy and Doyle coming down the steps leading into the club.) Cordy: "Ooh, classy! - Okay, now what ?" Angel: "All right. Look, let's split up. Look for someone that might be in trouble." Doyle: "Or for something that's about to cause it." Cordelia hands Angel a couple of his new calling cards and they split up. Angel steps up to the bar. Bartender: "What can I get you ?" Angel: "Um, I'm just wondering, have you noticed anything unusual tonight ?" Bartender: "Unusual ?" Angel: "Yeah, you know,... out of the ordinary... possibly even... dangerous ?" Bartender: "Don't worry. It's early yet. The real hot women don't mosey in until around 11:00." Cut to Cordelia walking up to a black guy and handing him a calling card. Cordelia: "Hi! If you're in trouble, just call this number. We can help !" She moves on to a couple sitting at a table. Cordelia, handing a card to the girl: "Hi. Being harassed by someone or something ? Just dial us up, day or night. (to the guy) You look troubled. Are you troubled... or is that just your lazy eye ?... Anyway, call us, we are very discreet. (moving on to the next table) Hi, how are you ?" Doyle grabs her and pulls her away form them. Doyle: "Hey, hey, hey ! This isn't a marketing seminar here, princess. You've got to stay a bit more below radar." Cordelia: "What radar ?" Doyle: "The police ? You know the service our friend Angel provides... might put some people in mind of the V-word." Cordelia: "Vampire ?" Doyle: "No, Vigilante. You know there are laws against this. You need to chat people up a little more casual like. You know, hi, what's your name? How's life treatin' ye ? What's that you say ? Minions from hell gettin' you down ?" Cordelia: "I'm an actress, a student of the human animal. I don't need to talk to people to know their story. (turning to point at guy dancing) You see jazz-hands over there ? Mama's boy. Peter Pan complex. (pointing at a short haired blonde) Self-absorbed closet-dud, with a big 'the world owes me' chip on her shoulder. (pointing to Sharon leaving with Kevin) Check out Sarah-plain-and-tall. Has or comes from big money." Doyle: "How do you know all that ?" Cordelia: "Well, you've got to be rich to snag the Calvin Kline model she's leaving with." Doyle: "Yeah, well, they're all riveting insights and such, but we need to find someone that's in trouble ?" Cordelia: "How's Angel doing ?" Cut to Angel standing by the bar. A guy is walking away from him shaking his head. Angel: "No seriously, I wasn't hitting on you !" He massages the bridge of his nose with a sigh and leans back against the bar. Blond girl sitting at the bar with a drink: "Are you okay ?" Angel: "What ?" Girl: "No, no, nothing... Sorry." Angel: "No. Am I okay ?" Girl: "Well you just looked... bad... Not that you look bad, you look very nice... I think I'm just going to have my drink." Angel: "Thanks." Girl: "For thinking you look bad, or thinking you look good ?" Angel: "You choose... I'm Angel." Girl: "I'm... I'm Kate." Kate: "So do you come here a lot ?" Angel: "First time. It's really... " Kate: "Easy ? Yeah. I prefer those cool bars that are hard to get into, but I can't get into them... Anyway, this is close to home... So, did you... did you just stop in ?" Angel: "I'm sort of looking for someone." Kate: "I'm sorry, if am I keeping you..." Angel: "No, no, no, I'm just looking for someone to... rescue ?... Are you maybe in need of some... rescuing ?" Kate, staring at him in disbelief: "Well that's the strangest line I'm going to hear tonight." Angel: "No, it's not a line. I'm..." Kate: "Oh, I didn't mean... That was harsh." Angel: "No, hey, you know... I'm not very good at this... talking." Kate: "Well, I'm the expert. I'm sure you can see... Well, the answer is no, I don't need rescuing... I gave up on the knight in shining armor concept a while ago... Anyway I don't expect to find him here at the international house of posers." Angel: "People can surprise you." Kate: "I sound like a big hypocrite, don't I ? Ragging on this place, I still come here most every night... How else are you going to meet somebody outside of work ? It's either this, or sit at home alone in the dark." Angel, looking at the ceiling: "Hmm. Wouldn't want that." Kate: "So... what do you do ?" Angel: "Do ?" Kate: "For a living." Angel: "I... ah... well, basically I... um... I help... I'm a veterinarian." Kate: "Really... Well, I always say a man that loves animals, is a man you can trust." Cut to Cordelia and Doyle. Doyle: "So you got everyone figured out, huh ?" Cordelia: "Not everyone. I mean you I don't get." Doyle: "Me ?" Cordelia: "Yeah, I mean, what's with those vision things of yours ?" Doyle: "They're messages I get, you know from the higher powers, whoever they may be. You know, it's my gift !" Cordelia: "If that was my gift, I'd return it. I mean you get those headaches, and you do this bleh thing with your face." Doyle, downing a drink: "What thing with my face ?" Cordelia: "Plus, your visions are kind of lame. A bar ? That's nice and vague ! I mean they should send you one of those self-destructing tapes, you know, that come with a dossier ?" Doyle: "Well, I'm sure to mention it..." Blond guy, coming up holding a calling card: "Hey, you're the one handing out those cards ?" Cordelia: "Do you need help ?" Blond guy: "Well, I was wondering if that is really your number. Do you mind if I ring you up some time for a date ?" Doyle: "Yeah, she minds." Cordelia, putting a hand on Doyle's chest: "I can handle this, ok ? (to guy) Yes, I mind. This is a business card. We offer our services to people in need." Blond guy: "Well, I might be in need of a little service. You charge by the hour ?" Cordelia: "Excuse me ?" Doyle: "Alright. Just everyone relax here a little bit. The Lady is with me, all right ?" Cordelia: "No, I'm not." Blond guy: "Hey, nobody is talking to you, wipe." Cut to Angel and Kate sitting at the bar. Kate: "I guess I just... I just have a hard time, you know... trusting people. Male people particularly. In a place like this, it's not like anyone is just going to come up to you and show you who they really are. Every body is too busy to get,... I don't know... what ever it is they are looking for." Angel: "What are you looking for ?" Kate: "Depends on how many Daiquiris I've had. Oh, god, way to come off like a drunken slut. Slut's better then a hypocrite though, right ? I'm moving up." Angel: "Kind of hard on yourself." Kate: "That's me a self-flagellating-hypocrite-slut. What was your question ?" Angel: "What are you looking for ?" Kate: "I guess I'm just trying to make a connection. The more I come to places like this the harder it gets... What about you ?" Angel, with a sigh: "I honestly don't know. But I'll know it when I see it." Kate: "Would you ?... I'm sorry. Forget it." Angel: "What ?" Kate: "I was just going to ask you... if you would like to go some place... more quiet." Angel: "Um, I can't... I have got to stay here." Kate: "Right." Angel: "I would..." Kate: "No, that's okay." Cut to Doyle, Cordy and the blond guy. Doyle: "Listen, I don't want any trouble, okay ?" Guy#2, coming up: "Hey, what's the trouble ?" Doyle: "No, trouble. Did I not just get through saying that we don't want any trouble? We are trouble-free, okay ?" Blond guy: "Turns out, she's a hooker and her pimp here is giving me a hard time." Cordelia: "That's it !" Doyle: "Down, Cord..." Cordelia: "Did you hear what he just said about me ?" Doyle: "Everyone just simmer down here, okay ? Violence isn't going to solve a thing here. (steps forward and head-buts the blond guy) On the other hand it is kind of festive." The three guys start fighting. Cordelia: "Oh, my gosh!" The bartender comes up to break up the fight and guy#2 hits him in the face. Cordelia: "Oh, my god!" Angel comes up and grabs the chair away from the blond guy as he gets ready to hit Doyle with it. He uses the chair to block the blond guy's punches, then throws him into the wall. Both guys go up against Angel but he holds them off easily. Then he and Doyle throw them into a pile and the bartender steps between them. Cordelia, pointing to the two guys: "Those two jerks started it !" When they start to protest the bartender cuts them off Bartender: "Not a word. Not a word ! Every time with you guys. Out ! Come on. Lets go !" As the bartender ushers the two guys out, a starry eyed princess-Leia-type-of-girl walks up to Angel and Doyle. Girl: "Wow, are you okay ?" Doyle, holding the side of his head: "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." The girl ignores him and smiles up at Angel. Angel, looking around for a moment: "Yeah,... ah... I'm... I'm okay... Are you okay ?" Girl, walking over to the bar with a smirk: "Well, now. That's for you to find out." Angel, following her after a beat: "No, I... I mean, I'd really like to know. .. So how do you want to do this... twenty questions ?" Cut to Kate disappointedly watching Angel talk to the girl. Cut to Angel and the girl. She's laughing. Angel: "So... Marcie from Barstow. That doesn't even rhyme or anything." Angel watches Kate leave. Girl: "It's wild, us meeting over a bar fight. Isn't it great when two people make a connection?" *** Cut to Kevin's apartment. * Sharon and Kevin lay in bed next to each other. Sharon doesn't look exactly happy. Sharon: "It's late..." Kevin: "Yeah." Sharon: "I should probably..." Kevin: "I know." Sharon, sitting up: "Well..." Kevin, sitting up too and reaching for her: "Well, if you have to leave, I understand, but I'd just like to hold you." Kevin wraps his arms around her form behind with a sigh. * Cut to the empty bar. * Angel, Doyle and Cordy sit around a table. Angel: "You know, I'm having a hard time believing that Doyle's vision meant I was supposed to come here to break up a bar fight." Doyle: "Yeah, well, if it was, I'm in for some serious workman's comp." Angel: "Alright think. Could either one of you sense that anyone here tonight need help?" Cordelia: "Yeah, everybody." Angel: "This socializing thing is brutal. I mean, I was young once,... I used to go to bars. It wasn't anything like this." Doyle: "I used to go to taverns. Small towns, where everybody used to know each other." Cordelia: "Yeah, like High-school. It was easy to date there. We all had so much in common. Being monster food every other week for instance." Doyle: "Well, you're in the big, bad city now, huh? Where everyone's a stranger - hiding behind walls, keeping secrets." Bartender, coming up to the table: "Sorry folks, got to kick you out now." Cordelia: "Sure. (to Angel) I guess the single life's particularly tough on you." Angel: "Why ?" Cordelia: "Well, a couple of hundred years ago all you had to worry about was a hang over. Today, because of your curse thingy, - you can't sleep with anyone... or else you might feel a moment of true happiness, lose your soul, become evil again, and... kill everyone." Angel: "Thanks Cordelia, I always appreciate your perspective." Cordelia: "No problem. Hey, the last thing I want is to show up at the office and find that I'm working for a homicidal monster." They get up and leave. Cut to Sharon sitting on the edge of the bed. Kevin lays on the bed behind her, looking beat-up and dead. Cut to Cordelia sitting in front of a computer, Doyle is looking through some news papers. Doyle: "This is completely whacked, man. I don't even know what I'm looking for anymore." Angel, coming to stand behind Cordelia: "You're looking for any events in and around that bar." Cordelia: "Okay, I'm in the news group search engine. Now what is the name of that place again ?" Angel: "D'oblique. Capital D, apostrophe, o-b-l-i..." Cordelia: "Not so fast. Okay, Capital D,... apostrophe, apostrophe, apostrophe,... oh, I got it. Okay... Now what's after that again ?" Doyle, getting up and walking up the keyboard: "You know, I need a break. Let me... ah... let me get in here." He turns the keyboard towards him and starts typing really fast. Angel: "How'd you pick up computer skills?" Cordelia: "Downloading pictures of naked women ?" Doyle: "Well, that's more or less accurate. - Hello ! We've got two hits." He clicks on the first one. Angel: "Look at that. Search continues for Heather Nolan. Missing since late last month the 24-year-old paralegal that vanished after leaving a downtown bar called D'oblique." Cordelia: "Missing girl. That's sounds a little more up your alley." Angel: "What's the second one say ?" Doyle: "Badly mutilated body found in the dumpster nearly three weeks ago, described by the coroner's office as eviscerated, has been positively identified as that of 28-year-old Martin Haber, last seen with an unidentified female companion at D'oblique, a trendy singles establishment." Angel: "That's it then. Probably a lot more disappearances that the press hasn't traced back to the bar yet." Doyle: "So, we got a missing girl and a stiff." Angel: "An eviscerated stiff. Go downstairs and use the library. Try to narrow down a list of eviscerating demons, ones that might have reasons to prey on young singles." Cordelia: "Where are you going ?" Angel: "To the bar. To see if I can meet a killer." * Cut to front of D'Oblique. * Angel walks up in front of the club, staring at the ground lost in his thoughts he runs into another person, literally. Angel: "Oh, excuse me." Kate: "Well, hello." Angel: "Hi,... Kate... Uh,... I'm glad to see you again." Kate: "Really..." Angel: "Yeah,... I owe you an apology... for last night." Kate: "You don't owe me anything." Angel: "No, it was rude." Kate: "Okay, then... maybe you can buy me a drink and we can start fresh." Angel: "I'm not sure that you should go in there tonight." Kate: "What do you mean ?" Angel: "I'm not sure it's safe." Kate: "What's not safe ?" Angel: "I can't really explain it." Kate: "You know I'm having a problem trusting people... and surprise, you're not making it any better." Angel: "I'm just asking you not to go in there." Kate: "And where are you going ?" Angel, after a beat: "In there." Kate: "Well, I'll tell you what: I can go where ever I want and ah,... you can go to hell." Angel, watching her walk into the bar: "Been there, done that." * Cut to the inside of the bar. * Kate walks up to the bar and sits down next to a blond girl talking to a young man. Bartender: "The usual ?" Kate: "Yes." He sets a tall glass with a straw in front of her. Angel walks in, looks at her back for a moment then blows out a deep breath and settles down at the bar further down. They look at each other for a moment across the people sitting between them, then Kate turns away. Kate, to the blonde sitting beside her: "You know, some guys have real problems." The blonde turns around. It is Sharon. No longer Sarah-plain-and-tall, she has made herself up into a glamorous chick. Sharon, turning back to her date: "I'm sorry, you were saying ?" Kate: "Nothing. It's just my job. It's hard to meet people. Everyone is watching their own back. It's difficult... to know who you can trust." Sharon: "Still, I'm surprised. I would think that you would have your pick of girls." Kate: "Yeah ? (Laughs.) Well, I... I don't know. I was pretty much a spaz in High School. You know, a real 'something is out there' geek, you know with the gang of geek toy minions. - I couldn't get a date to save my life." Sharon: "Well, it's a good thing High Schools over." [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Kate looking at Angel. Cut to Angel sitting at the bar sipping a coke. A dark haired guy steps up to the bar next to him. Guy to the bartender: "Yo man, where is Kevin?" Bartender: "Hell if I know. Haven't seen him in here tonight. Why ?" Guy: "Dude didn't show up for work today. And he's not answering his phone." Bartender: "Pretty sure I seen him hook up with some girl last night. He's probably sleeping it off." Angel: "What girl ?" * Cut to Angel's office. * Cordy and Doyle sitting together looking through a bunch of books about demons. Doyle points at the picture of a demon. Doyle: "Here's another one. Piasca. It's a flesh-eating Indian demon that enters victims through the mouth and eviscerates from within. You're going to put that one down ?" Cordelia: "Yeah. Ugh, demons. Is there anything more disgusting?" Doyle, after a beat: "You think so ?" Cordelia, looking at him surprised: "Come on !... Okay, look at this one. (points to picture) This demon wears a wreath of intestines around its head. I mean honestly, what kind of a statement is this thing trying to make with that ?" Doyle: "Yeah, you know,... I mean, it really depends, doesn't it ?... I mean some demons could actually be nice,... given the opportunity. I think, you'd have to get to know them, yeah ?" Cordelia: "I've met a lot of demons, and slime aside, not a whole lot going on there." * Cut to the bar. * Bartender: "Sharon, Sharon. Her name is Sharon Kind of a regular." Guy: "Sharon ? That dowdy chick ? Ah, Kevin, scraping the bottom of the barrel." Angel: "Look, where can I find Sharon?" Bartender: "She's in here tonight. No Kevin though. I guess it wasn't true love after all. (looking over to where Sharon was sitting next to Kate but doesn't see her) Ah, she was there just a minute ago, getting it on with some Screech." Guy: "Yeah, that's definitely more her level." Angel: "Look, any idea where she lives ?" Bartender: "No." Angel: "What about a last name?" Bartender: "Last name? Not a lot of last names in a place like this." Guy: "It's Richler." Angel gets up to leave. Guy to the bartender: "Alright. I asked her out a couple times." Cut to Angel looking Sharon up in a phone book. Through the window beside him we can see Kate watching him from her seat at the bar as he scans through the book. He finds her name, rips out the page and leaves. * Cut to Sharon's apartment. * Sharon and the Screech laying in bed staring up at the ceiling. Screech: "I'm sorry. I wanted this to go better. Maybe I was trying too hard. I just really like you. Next time, it'll be better." Sharon, turning to him: "Roll over." Screech: "Okay." He rolls over and she cuddles up behind him. Cut to Angel running down the street. Cut to Sharon and the Screech cuddling. Screech: "This is nice. I think sometimes what we really need..." A strange looking reptile like worm suddenly emerges from Sharon's chest, and starts burrowing teeth first into the Screech's back. (Screams.) Cut to Angel bursting through the apartment door. He looks surprised that he got in. It dawns on him what that means and he grimly scans the apartment. He walks over to an open door and sees Sharon laying on the bed looking like week-old corpse. He looks over and just sees the tail end of the burrower disappear into the Screech's back, leaving no visible marks behind, as he pulls on a sweater. Screech, turning to look at Angel: "You're not human." Angel: "News flash, pal, you're a bit of the evolutionary chart yourself. (Both of them looking over at Sharon laying on the bed.) This has to stop. You have to stop." Screech: "I will, when I find the right one. The one I can stay with." Angel: "The right body ? What's wrong with this one ?" Screech: "Nothing,... yet. It's new and different. It's great... But it won't last. I already know it's not the I can live in." Angel: "Well, then it'll have to be the one you die in." They exchange some blows. The screech is at least as strong as Angel and not in the least bit phased by Angel's blows. He manages to drop Angel with a punch to his back, then slides him head first into the wall. When Angel picks himself back up he is in vamp face. They go at it again, hitting and slamming each other into the walls. Then the Screech picks Angel up and throws him high through the air. Angel hits the corner of the room head down with his back to the wall and slides to the floor. The Screech takes off. Kate runs into the apartment. Angel manages to get back up. When he turns to her he once again looks human. Angel: "Kate, what are you doing here ? (Both looking over at the dead body on the bed.) Look, I know what this looks like." Kate, aiming a cocked pistol at his face and pulling out a police badge: "So do I. (putting her badge back away) LAPD. You have the right to..." Angel: "I waive it... How did you find me ?" Kate: "I've been tracking you since last night." Angel: "Listen..." Kate: "Don't move! Not a step. Back-up is on the way." Angel: "We're on the same side. I'm after this guy, too." Kate: "You're telling me you're an investigator ?" Angel: "More or less." Kate: "Where is your license ?" Angel: "That's the less part." Kate: "Right." Angel: "Kate you don't know, you didn't see..." Kate: "What I see is the carving job of an impotent sicko. - It's frustrating, isn't it, not being able to connect, to love like other people? I mean, how do you get them to trust you, Angel ? Give them the big dark eyes, the 'I'm not good with talk' speech?" Angel: "He gives them what they are longing for." Kate: "And that is?" Angel: "Hope. - That the loneliness is going to end, and he is going to do it again..." Kate: "Unless I let you go so you can stop him. - Save me the lines. I've heard them." Angel: "And I've heard yours. Something about not being able to trust people?" Kate, getting out her handcuffs: "Turn around." Angel turns and puts his hand up against the wall with a sigh. She slaps a cuff around his right wrist and pulls his arm down. Angel: "I'm sorry." Kate: "Is that a confession ?" Angel: "I didn't do that. I'm sorry for this !" He kicks back, knocks her down and sprints for the open window. She gets up and shoots four times as he dives headfirst out the window to land on the hood of a car parked below, setting off its alarm. He rolls off and runs off down the street as Kate watches from the window. (The Camera pans down and shows the screech pressed against the wall below the window watching as well.) * Cut to Cordelia's apartment. *** Doyle and Cordy walk into her apartment carrying a stack of old books. The place is a mess. Doyle, looking around: "Wow, this is... place is... I thought girls are supposed to like pretty things." Cordelia: "Uh. Don't start okay ? Angel told us to meet here, so we're meeting here. That doesn't mean that you can..." Doyle picks up a bra and holds it up to his chest. Cordelia, taking it away from him impatiently: "That is so High School ! Cordelia wears bras. Oh, she has girlie parts!" Doyle: "Take it easy. You're being a tad defensive here. I think it's refreshing seeing a woman living like this. You know, it means you're not so up tight. Means you live for the moment." He steps into a dirty cereal bowl sitting on the floor as a knock sounds. Doyle: "You're disgusting." Cordy, going to the door: "Who is it?" Angel: "It's me." Cordelia undoes the chain and opens the door. Angel stands there, he looks a bit beaten up. Cordelia: "Oh, my god. Are you okay?" Angel: "Look, I- I can't, um..." Doyle: "Invite him in! As long as you're alive, vampires, they can't cross the threshold unless you..." Cordelia: "Oh, right, right. You promise you'll stay good?" Angel: "Cordelia." Cordelia: "I'm kidding. Come in." He comes in and Cordy closes the door. Doyle: "What happened to you, man. You look wrecked!" Angel: "That woman that I was talking to at the bar last night, - you know Kate?" Cordelia: "She's the killer?" Angel: "She's a cop. Followed me to another body." Doyle: "Now she thinks you're the killer." Angel: "Yeah. So we don't have a lot of time to..." Looks around and notices the state of Cordy's apartment for the first time. Looks at Cordy with a grin. Angel: "You actually live here?" Cordelia: "Yes, - okay? Is it my fault that maid service was interrupted? It was supposed to go, home, hotel, hotel, husband. Now can we move on?" Doyle: "Yeah, well, we put together that list of eviscerating demons that you asked for. We actually narrowed it down to 3 or 4." Angel: "I saw it. It's a burrower." Cordelia: "It's a donkey ? - Oh, we didn't see any donkey demons." The guys just look at her. Angel: "Burrower." Cordelia: "Oh." Angel: "It eviscerates its victims as it moves from body to body, and it may only be able to do it after some kind of a sx act, exchange of fluids kind of thing." Cordelia: "Eww!" Doyle: "Lovely." Angel: "Look I want you to find out anything you can about this thing. Weaknesses especially. It was amazingly strong while we were fighting. - It may be hard to kill." Doyle: "We're on it." Angel: "Good. I'm going to get back to the bar, see if I can find this thing." Cordelia: "What makes you think that it will show ? It knows that you're after it." Angel: "It'll be out there. It's got to keep trying to make a connection." Cordelia: "Why ?" Angel: "Because that's what lonely people do." Cut to the screech talking to a gorgeous lady with long brown hair at the bar. Cut to Kate stepping into Angel's office with her gun drawn. Cut to her stepping into Angel's apartment and looking around. Cut to Angel walking around scanning people sitting at dining tables. Cut to Kate looking into Angel's (luckily empty) refrigerator. Cut to Angel searching. Cut to the screech and the girl laying together on a bed. He turns to her and the parasite moves from his body into her back. Cut to Kate looking at the weapons decorating the wall of Angel's place. Cut to the longhaired girl looking out a window. Cut to Angel walking down the street (it's awfully bright, but according to Joss comment's from the posting board it was supposed to be still pre-dawn, some mistake with lighting or post production or something). ("Touched" by Vast is playing through the previous montage.) ** Cut to Cordelia's apartement. * Angel enters Cordy's apartment. Doyle and Cordy are slumped on the sofa with books piled on their laps, asleep. They wake as Angel closes the door. Angel: "Morning." Doyle: "Hey, ah,... so, any luck yet ?" Angel: "No not yet. (sitting down in a chair) I know I can recognize this thing if I just saw it in another body." Doyle: "That shouldn't be a problem then. That narrows it down to what ? 5 million suspects in the naked city ?" Angel, massaging the bridge of his nose: "How about you. Did you find anything ?" Cordelia: "Yeah, we found a name for this burrower guy. Ah, Tahlmer ? He's been around forever. A dawn of time kind of dude." Angel: "Any weaknesses ?" Doyle: "Few and far between. This kid is strong like you said. Not to crazy about fire though." Angel: "Something we have in common." Cordelia: "It's a parasite. It moves from body to body. And when it leaves one for the next, not going to gag here, but the first one goes kaplooey pretty fast." Doyle: "Yep, curdles like cream on a hot day." Cordelia: "I believe I covered that with non dairy kaplooey ?" Angel, getting up from his chair: "I'm going to need help to find this thing." Doyle: "Well, who you're calling ?" Angel: "Kate." Cordelia: "Cagney and Lacy Kate ? I thought we were hiding from her." Angel: "We were. But she's been tracking this thing a lot longer than we have." Cut to the police station. Kate is sitting at her desk. The phone rings and she picks it up. Kate: "Lockley." Angel: "It's me... I need you to help me find the killer." Kate: "That's easy. I'm talking to him." Angel: "That would make things nice and clean now, wouldn't it ? But it's not true and I think some pat of you knows that... Look he's still out there. We should be sharing information." Kate: "That's not possible." Angel: "All I need is 5 minutes. You think I'm your man after that, arrest me. Meet me at the bar at 7:00." Kate: "Sure, that's actually on my to-do list for this week: walk into a serial killer's trap." Angel: "Look, I don't care if you come armed, wired, and covered by sharpshooters. Do what ever it takes so you feel secure... I can help you Kate, but your just going to have to trust me." He hangs up the phone and looks at the others. * Cut to the bar. * Kate is sitting nervously at a table in the bar. The bartender comes up to her. Bartender: "Kate. The usual ?" Kate pulls out her badge and shows it to him. Bartender: "That's not your usual." Kate: "Every now and then I'm in the mood for something different. Look, you remember that guy that was in here the other night ? He was tall, nice-looking, helped you out in the bar fight the other night ?" Bartender: "Sure, sure." Kate: "Let me know as soon as he comes in, okay ?" Bartender: "Yeah, you bet." (Walking off.) Kate: "Thanks." Guy, coming over to Kate's table: "God I hate places like this, don't you ?" Kate: "I do, but... um..." Guy, sitting down: "I kind of guessed that. You really don't look like you are in your element here. Which is a compliment, by the way." Kate: "Thanks. Um, Look I'd really love to chat, but actually I'm waiting for someone." Bartender: "That guy you you're looking for ? I think he's out in the alley." Kate: "What is he doing there ?" Bartender: "I as just taking out some trash and there he was. Looked like he was ready to rabbit." Kate, getting up: "Show me. (to the guy sitting at the table) Sorry, I guess you have to keep trolling." Cut to the door leading out of the back of the bar opening. Kate and the bartender step through. Kate has her gun out. She pulls out a card and hands it back to the bartender without looking at him. Kate: "Call this number, tell the sergant that I need back... aahh !" The bartender has picked up a wine bottle and hits her over the head with it. She drops to the ground unconscious. He pulls up her jacket and after a quick look around rips her T-shirt down the middle. He holds her up in front of him. Suddenly the parasite appears in the middle of his chest and lunges towards Kate's back. Before it can make contact the bartender is thrown back by a board to his head. He drops Kate and the parasite retracts. Leaving a mark behind on his chest. Angel, grabbing a hold of Kate's shoulders: "Kate ! Kate ? Can you move ?... Move !" He pulls Kate out of the way just as the bartender slams a keg down on them. He kicks the bartender and slams his fist into it's stomach. Stares at the flap of skin hanging lose from his forehead where it got hit by the board. Angel: "I guess you're done with that body." The bartender slams Angel face first into the fence. Angel: "You stop being a guy. You don't get to finish you just come apart at the seams." Angel slams his head back in the others face, the holds on to the fence and swings up his legs and wraps them around the bartenders neck. Kate stares as he twists his body throwing the bartender to the floor. Getting up between Angel's legs the bartender lifts him up and slams him into the wall, then tosses him through the door into a storage room. Angel catches the doorframe to keep from falling backwards down the stair behind him, but the bartender throws Kate into him. They tumble down the stairs, Angel trying to cushion Kate's fall, as the bartender slams the door shut. Kate: "We can't let him get away." Angel: "He's not going to leave. He's going to kill again, now." Kate: "You think so ?" Angel: "He has to." Cut to the bartender looking at himself in the bath room mirror. He tries to push the flap of lose skin back into place. Cut to the bartender walking up behind a young blonde in the bar trying to act cool. Bartender: "Hey, how's it going ? Been noticing how gracefully you move and I was wondering would you like to dance or something ? Because I wish I could move like..." She looks at him, takes it his disheveled appearance and walks away in disgust. Cut to Angel throwing himself against the door. It doesn't budge. Cut to the bartender walking up behind a girls sitting at the bar. Bartender: "Hey escuse me, that's a beautiful dress you're wearing. It really brings out the color of you skin." He wipes at his forehead dislodging a flap of skin. The girl looks at him in disgust and walks off. Cut to the storage room. Angel helps Kate back to her feet at the bottom of the steps and looks around the room. Kate: "Now what ?" Cut to the bartender walking up to another girl. Bartender: "Hey would you like a drink or something? Because I'm like the bartender here." The girl looks at him and hurries away. Bartender: "I just want to talk to somebody. Open up... I want to make a connection." Cut to Angel looking at a row of windows just under the ceiling. Angel: "We are going out that window." Kate: "It's almost 30 feet up." Angel reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a grappling gun. He aims it at a angled support beam next to the window. He triggers the release and the hook shoots up and wraps itself around the beam. Kate: "Who are you ?" Angel give the rope a good pull and the beam comes crashing down. They look at each other then Kate bends down and pulls a hold-out gun out of her boot. She shoots the lock of the door and they hurry out. Cut to the bartender stumbling out of the front of the bar. He is looking worse all the time. Cut to Angel and Kate hurrying through the club. Cut to the bartender walking up behind a girl. Bartender: "Please I just want to hold you" The girl spins around and gasps at his horrid appearance. More skin is starting to peel back in patches from his face. The girl runs off while the bartender looks around. Cut to Angel and Kate running out of the bar. They split up. Cut to the bartender pulling a blond girl into an alley. The Camera pans past a couple bums standing around a burning barrel to show Angel come running. He runs into the alley and launches himself feet first at the bartender, knocking him away from the girl. Angel, to the girl: "Run !" She does. Angel flips the bartender over a crate and kicks him. They fight, but even though the guy is falling apart he is still stronger than Angel doesn't even seem to feel it when Angel throws him into the wall. He grabs Angel and tries to force his head into the burning barrel. Angel manages to spin away and throw the bartender back into the alley. He gets right back up and they keep fighting. The bartender pretty much cleans the floor with Angel. He throw Angel again towards the burning barrel and runs to jump on top of Angel laying on the ground. Angel uses his foot to catapult him over his head. The bartender overturns the burning barrel and catches fire. Now a living torch he stumbles towards an Angel that is desperately trying to move, but is to beat to more then watch him coming. Shots ring out and the burning bartender stumbles back and falls to the ground. Angel sees Kate with her gun out and allows himself to collapse. Cut to a fire truck, an ambulance and a police car at the mouth of the alley. Paramedics wheel a gurney with a body bag over to the ambulance. Kate turns away from talking to a detective as Angel walks up to her. Kate: "It all seems to add up. The bartender was connected to everyone... I must have talked to him a dozen times. I never had a clue." Angel: "It's hard to get to know people." Kate: "Yes it is. - I didn't thank you... for saving my life." Angel: "I think saving mine is a start." Kate: "I think you should know I searched your place,... illegally, no warrant." Angel: "Why are you telling me ?" Kate: "I don't know. I guess so we can start fresh. No secrets... Some pretty weird stuff for a veterinarian." Angel looks down with a half smile then digs into his pocket and pulls out one of his calling cards. Angel, handing her the card: "Look, if you ever need me, or if I can help you in anyway..." Kate, taking the card and looking at it: "What is this, a lobster ?" Angel, taking it back from her: "Uh,... I'll be around." From off screen: "Detective Lockley, can I talk to you for a minute ?" Kate, turning to him for a moment: "Yes sir." When she turns back Angel is nowhere to be seen. Kate, turning back to the guy after some looking around: "What's up ?" * Cut to Angel walking down a road. * * Cut to Angel's office. *** Angel, pacing: "I know you guys have been working hard. I mean,... you've been cooped up inside a lot. And to show my appreciation I was thinking,... the night being, you know, young and all... that the three of us... could... well, should,... You know, maybe,... go out,... you know, for fun." Cordelia: "Or we can go home." Doyle: "And you can sit in the dark alone." They get up and start to leave. Angel, breathing a sigh of relief: "God, yes! Thank you." He goes to sit down at his desk and after a moment the light goes off as Doyle and Cordy walk out the door.	Plan: A: one body; Q: Angel tracks a demon that moves from what to another? A: The demon; Q: Who is hunting for the perfect body? A: corpses; Q: What does the demon leave behind? A: The stalking ground; Q: What is happening at a Los Angeles singles bar? A: the undercover LAPD detective; Q: Who is Kate Lockley? A: Kate Lockley; Q: Who is the LAPD detective that Angel meets at the singles bar? Summary: Angel tracks a demon which moves from one body to another leaving an eviscerated corpse behind. The demon is hunting for the perfect body and will continue to search leaving corpses in its wake. The stalking ground is happening at a Los Angeles singles bar. This is where Angel meets the undercover LAPD detective Kate Lockley for the first time.
[Scene: Outside by the wall that Pacey bought for Joey. Joey is there staring at the wall trying to figure out what to paint on it when Dawson comes up to talk to her.] Joey: You know, if you came here to discuss me and Pacey, you're wasting your breath because Dawson: Pacey's the last person I want to talk about, Joey. Trust me. I came here to talk about us. I--I want you in my life. Joey: And Pacey? Dawson: That damage has been done. I came to salvage the one relationship that I need more than any other, and that's ours. Joey: How? Dawson: Let's rebuild. Let's... Take a walk. Let's have a picnic, watch a movie. Joey: After everything that's happened, how could I possibly climb that ladder into your bedroom and watch a movie? Dawson: I'm not asking you to disregard what's happened, Joey. I'm saying let's move forward from here. Joey: You know what? All I want to do right now, Dawson, is-- is paint my wall. Dawson: All right. Well, it's a freestanding invitation. Any time you want. You know where I live. [Opening Credits] [Scene: Outside the Leery Fish House. Gale is has a flag with their logo spread out over one of the tables when Mitch comes up to join her.] Mitch: Mrs. Leery, you are looking particularly lovely this tourist season. Gale: Is it just my imagination, or did this year go by even faster than the last? Mitch: Each year gets exponentially shorter. Gale: Which is why we should be making each day count, right? Mitch: Gail, I--I can't believe Gale: relax. We made this arrangement with Pacey weeks ago. Mitch: Yeah, but in light of what's happened Gale: it's just a boat race, one that we could very much benefit from. Mitch: I'm not sure Dawson will see it that way. [Dawson comes out of the restaurant] Dawson: See what, what way? What's the flag? Gale: A month ago, we offered to sponsor Pacey in the regatta, honey. Dawson: Oh. Gale: We needed publicity. He wanted a sponsor. We thought the two of you would be doing it together, but with what's happened, we don't expect you'd want to do that. Dawson: I appreciate the concern. Mitch: Dawson, you're more important than the restaurant. We'll pull out of the race. Dawson: You don't have to do that. I mean... If it's important to mom and the restaurant, it's fine. Gale: Look, honey, I'm not trying to defend Pacey here. I would just hate to see you lose your best friend. Dawson: I'm fine. All right? I'll even take the banner to him myself. [Scene: The docks on by True Love. Pacey and Will are on the boat working when Dawson comey up carrying the flag from the restaurant.] Dawson: It's for you. Pacey: Thanks. You know, I could have come up and got this from your parents. Dawson: It's no problem. Pacey: Look, Dawson, if you want me to drop out of this race, you're gonna have to ask me yourself. Dawson: Do whatever you want, pace. Pacey: I'm only doing this to help your mother. Dawson: The way you helped Joey? Pacey: Look, if you want to stay angry, stay angry. It really doesn't matter to me anymore. I'm just glad it's finally directed at the right person. Dawson: Oh, save it, Pacey. You know, everyone else might buy this chivalrous self-deprecating crap. I don't. [Scene: On the Docks. Joey and Bessie are talking behind the sign up booth, while setting it up.] Joey: I'm not doing it. Bessie: You have to. It's good P.R. Joey: It's humiliating. Bessie: If you don't cook and serve pancakes at the race registration table, how are people gonna remember it's being sponsored by the Potter B & B? Joey: I'll tell them. Bessie: Look, if you'd rather go home and scrub toilets or make beds or... That's the last name I expected to see on Pacey's boat. That's a good sign. Are they talking again? Joey: Hopefully. Bessie: And you? Did you mend any fences yet? Joey: Well, Dawson came by the other day and wanted to know if I wanted to spend some time with him. Bessie: To which you said? Joey: I don't know, I just-- it doesn't feel right, you know? I mean, Dawson and I becoming friends again while he and Pacey Bessie: let Dawson and Pacey take care of Dawson and Pacey. They're big boys. They'll work it out. Besides, you saw the banner. Maybe they already have. [Scene: Inside Grams Kitchen. Andie, Jack, Jen and Grams are making wreaths for the Capeside Regatta.] Andie: Oh, isn't this thrilling? The start of a new tradition. Grams: Fashioning the regatta winner's wreaths has always been my sole responsibility for the women's league, ever since 1953. Sharing it with you young people is very exciting. Jack: You know, it's moments like these I'm convinced I'm straight. Grams: Oh, come now. How often to you get a chance to create such a jubilant public display? Andie: Oh, looks like we're not the only ones creating a public display. \ Jen: What? Oh, my god. Could this possibly be more embarrassing? How long can he last? Andie: How long has he been doing this, anyway? Jen: For, like, a week. He stood outside our window for over an hour yesterday. Grams: In the rain. Andie: Exactly what unspeakable crime is he asking forgiveness for? Jen: I defended Henry to grams, saying that he--he wasn't a typical teenage boy with a one-track mind. Andie: And? Jen: Typical teenage boy, one-track mind. Grams: I don't know what you expect. All healthy normal boys want the same thing. Jen: Ok, what are you gettin' at? Grams: My point is, to err is human, to forgive divine. Hasn't he paid enough penance? [Scene: Under a Gazebo. Dawson, Jack and Andie are setting up some of the wreaths.] Jack: Dawson, how do you remember our dad has a boat? I don't even remember our dad has a boat. Dawson: The question is, is he using it this weekend? Andie: Well, considering the fact that he takes it out about once or twice a year-- memorial day and labor day-- I would guess the answer is no. Dawson: Perfect. So, you think I can borrow it? Jack: No. No. I don't think that's a very good idea. Dawson: Why not? Jack: Because pieces of the last boat that you borrowed are still floating around the creek, that's why. Dawson: Look, I really need a sailboat. Ok, I've entered the regatta. Jack: Whoa. Isn't Pacey racing? Dawson: Yeah. Jack: So don't you think pistols at dawn would be a more suitable, not to mention romantic, way to settle this thing? Andie: What's the problem with Dawson seizing the day? Ok? I mean, Pacey most certainly did. Dawson: It's not about Pacey. It's about Joey. All right, look. I've spent the last 2 months lying on my bed, staring at empty walls. It's no wonder Joey got away from me. This is my chance to actually show her how much I care. You gotta help me. Jack: It's not right. Andie: No, jack, you know what? I'll tell you what's not right: Watching the person you love throw everything away so they can be with someone else, listening to them lie to your face day after day. That's not right. So if you're not going to help Dawson, I will. Jack: All right. [Scene: The Potter B & B sign up booth. Joey is handing out pancakes to the people there, when Dawson walks up to the booth.] Dawson: Hey. Joey: Hey. Would you like to sample a homemade Potter B & B hotcake? Dawson: Yes, ma'am, I believe I would. Thank you. Joey: Thank you, Dawson. Dawson: You heard already. Joey: Well, I have to admit, I mean, I had my doubts as to whether or not things would get better, but when I saw your restaurant's banner on Pacey's boat I just felt this huge sense of relief. Dawson: That's what you're thanking me for? Joey: Yeah. Dawson: I thought Bessie might have told you already. Joey: Told me what? Dawson: I'm entering the boat race. Joey: The sailboat race? Dawson: Mm-hmm. Joey: Well, who's your sponsor? Dawson: Uh, you are. Joey: What? Dawson: I'm being sponsored by the Potter B & B. Joey: Dawson, we can't afford the entry fee. Dawson: That's been taken care off. Your sister was pretty psyched about the idea. Joey: I'm sure she was. Dawson: Joey, a victory-- however slim my chances might be-- would guarantee the B & B the cover of the tourist brochure. You guys would be booked the whole season. Joey: Look, Dawson, I really don't think this is a good idea. Dawson: It's not what you think. All right? All I want to do is help. If I needed help you'd be there for me, right? Joey: Dawson Dawson: Yes, you would. So sign me up and wish me luck. [Scene: The Potter B& B Sign-up booth a little later. Joey is still working it, when Bessie comes up to join her.] Bessie: Ok, before you get mad at me Joey: you know what? You're about 300 pancakes and one sponsored sailboat too late for that, Bessie. Bessie: He begged to enter the race on our behalf, and are we really in the position to turn down free advertising? Joey: It's not free. Ok, Dawson may have put down the cash, but you're obligating me Bessie: what? To appreciate his friendship? Joey: This isn't about friendship. Dawson wants to beat Pacey. Bessie: Well, if 2 boys want to compete on our behalf, I say let 'em race. Joey: This was supposed to stop. I mean, we broke it off, and it was all just supposed to stop. Bessie: What did you expect, jo? That you would end things with pace, and then all of a sudden, things would just go back to the way they were? It's the hardest part about being an adult, sis. Your actions have consequences, forcing life to constantly move forward. Why do you think they call it "growing up"? Joey: Well, since you're such an expert grownup, do you have any advice? Bessie: Accept the consequences and do something to make things better. [Scene: Inside Andie's Bedroom. Andie is working on the computer, when there is a knock at he door.] Andie: Come in. Will: Uh, I hope you don't mind. Jack let me in. Andie: No. So is Dawson still downstairs with him going over sailing for dummies? Will: Actually, they're heading out to get some hands-on experience. Andie: Hmm. Looks like you and Pacey will have some competition after all. Will: Yeah, but that's not why I came here. I got some really good news. That scholarship to Rowley... It came through. Andie: Ah! Will, that's fantastic! Will: It's amazing, isn't it? I finally caught a break. Andie: And now you don't have to worry about your dad anymore. I mean, that's great. Will: Yeah, but Pacey... I'm kinda worried about him. Andie: Yeah, well, Pacey and Joey brought this situation on themselves, all right? Will: What, because they developed feelings for each other and had the guts to do something about it? Andie: Is that the way you see this, will? We were all friends. Will: They didn't set out to hurt you. Andie: Yeah, well, once upon a time, I didn't set out to hurt Pacey, either, but he offered me no forgiveness, and our relationship came to an earth-shattering halt. Now things are never gonna be the way they were. Will: If you can't let go of all this anger, Andie, they probably never will, and instead of you being this warm-hearted, cheerful person that I met on spring break, you'll just end up being the kind of person that-- that I feel sorry for... And I know you're better than that. [Scene: Aboard Jack's Boat. Jack and Dawson are trying to handle the boat which is still tied to the dock, and are having a ton of problems, when Mitch comes up to them.] Dawson: Watch out! Watch out! Jack: Dawson! God! Dawson: You ok? You all right? Jack: Yeah. Dawson: Um, all right, so that doesn't happen again, tie the--tie the rope to the thing. Jack: What the hell's 'the thing"? Dawson: The metal thing. Jack: Yeah, that helps, Popeye. Mitch: It's called the aft winch, and if you don't tighten that jib sheet and secure your tiller, it's not gonna be pretty. Dawson: Ok, I got the tiller. You get the jib sheet, all right? Jack: All right, all right, all right. Check. Where the hell's the jib sheet? Mitch: You're standing on it. Jack: Ok, you know what? Maybe I should just go back to helping grams. I might live a little longer. Mitch: What are you doing? Dawson: Well, trying to get out on the water before the fireworks start. Mitch: Looks like you guys could use a little help. Dawson: Well, dad, everyone who knows what they're doing is in the race already. Mitch: Not everyone. Dawson: Or they're sponsoring a boat. Mitch: The restaurant is sponsoring Pacey. I, on the other hand, am still available. Dawson: All right, dad. The last thing I want to do is divide the Leery household even more. Mitch: Any worthwhile relationship has to endure some conflict, don't you think, Dawson? Dawson: If you're saying you want to lend a hand, we would be more than happy to accept. Sure. Thank you. [Scene: On the sidewalk by the docks. Joey rounds the corner and runs into Pacey walking her way.] Joey: Look, Pacey, this wasn't my idea. I didn't ask him to do it, but I mean, you know Dawson. Once he gets something in his mind-- I'm sorry. Pacey: If it wasn't your idea, why are you apologizing? Joey: Because you're obviously upset. Pacey: I'm upset because we haven't spoken in 2 weeks. Now when we finally do, the first words out of your mouth, as per usual, are about Dawson. Joey: Well, this conversation is about to get harder, Pacey. Pacey: You want me to drop out, too. Wow. Dawson Leery couldn't have scripted this one any better, could he? Joey: What do you mean? Pacey: Well, don't you get it? No matter what I do, he wins. If I drop out, he wins. If I stay in the race, I'm forced into direct competition with the guy, and if I actually win, I don't beat him, I beat you. So guess who really wins there? Joey: Well... Maybe you could talk to him. I mean, try to work it out. Pacey: Yeah, we tried that. He doesn't really want to talk to me right now, and when he does, it's not entirely civil. Joey: Well, could you try again, Pacey, please? Pacey: Yeah, if that's what you want. If that's all that you want. Joey: That's all that I want. Pacey: Ok. Ok. That's what I'll do. Joey: Thank you, Pacey. Pacey: Yeah. Hey, Potter. It was nice talkin' to you. [Scene: Inside the Leery Fish House. The restaurant is very busy and Gale is helping people when she goes over to Jen and points out Henry outside with a sign asking her to forgive him.] Gale: And somebody will be with you shortly to take your drink orders. Enjoy your evening. Ok, a few hours ago, Henry was cute and endearing. Now he's getting into annoying and psychotic. Jen: Oh, my god. I'm so sorry. I didn't think he would last this long. Gale: Honey, it's getting ridiculous. This is our busiest weekend. Not only is he distracting the customers, but he's blocking the view. Go talk to him. Throw a net over him,. I don't care. Just drag him away. Get him away from my restaurant. [Jen goes outside and drags him away.] [Scene: On the roof of the Leery Fish House. Jen is coming up the ladder to join Henry. There are rose petals all around.] Jen: All right, look. I've already accepted your apology. I don't understand why you're making me come up to the roof. Henry: I want to show you something. Jen: Well, you promise to drop that whole sign thing, right? Henry: I promise. Jen: Yeah, well, I hope so, because you were rapidly approaching the point where I... [She sees that hew has set up an elaborate picnic for them] Jen: [Stunned] Henry. Oh, my god. You did all this? Henry: Well, the town organized the festivities. I just did the roof part. Jen: Why? Henry: For you. I want you to know how sorry I really am. Jen: I know. You just told me. Henry: I told you. But I want to show you, too. I can do more than just talk. Jen: I know that you can. You can listen, too, which is--which is why I got so upset. Henry: Because I stopped hearing you. Jen: Yeah. Henry: I promise that will never happen again. I'm--I'm glad that we didn't rush into having sx. Jen: Really? Henry: Well, I'd--I'd be lying if I told you I didn't think about it pretty much every time I breathe in or out. I can't tell you that I'm gonna stop wanting you so badly, that I get a little crazy sometimes, but... I don't want to be like every other guy in your life, Jen. I want everything we do to be new, something you've never done before. Jen: I have definitely never had a picnic on a roof before. Henry: From now on, I'm going to do everything in my power to be the most original person in your life. Jen: Henry parker, you already are. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Along the Docks later that evening. Pacey is waiting when Dawson comes walking along.] Pacey: What are you trying to prove? Dawson: I'm just trying to help Joey. Just trying to... Pacey: Look, man, why don't you just take a swing at me? I mean honestly, just take a poke. Get it over with. Save us both a lot of time and trouble. Wouldn't involve our friends. Or family. Dawson: Do you think that indulging yourself in some James dean meets greased lightning fantasy, that you're actually gonna prove you're a better man than I am? Pacey: I don't have to prove that. Dawson: You made that clear when you moved in on Joey. Pacey: For the very last time, Dawson, I made a mistake. Dawson: Mm-hmm. Pacey: I thought you of all people would understand someone falling for Joey Potter. Dawson: Are you delusional enough to believe that you actually have something real with Joey? Pacey: Well, if I do, it's because of her own free will. Dawson: Do you really think a couple confused weeks means anything compared to the lifetime that we've had? Pacey: And do you actually think that you could possibly hold on to that beautiful woman with some sort of selfish ultimatum? Dawson: Answer my question, Pacey. Do you really think you can compete with history? Pacey: Some history. 15 years of watching pg movies in your bedroom, followed by another year and a half pretending to be grown up, only to drop each other at the first sign of crises? That's your history? Come on, man. And you call this woman your soulmate? Dawson: Yes, I do, and you knew that, and you went after her anyway. Pacey: Right after you rejected her. Dawson: Oh, so she was vulnerable. Perfect for you, right? 'Cause you're only interested in girls you can save or screw, right, pace? [Scene: Inside Gram's Kitchen. Grams is sitting at the table when Jen enters in the early morning.] Jen: You're up early. Grams: I see I'm not the only one dressed in what she was wearing last night. Jen: I know. I know. I'm sorry. I should have called, but I figured that you'd be in bed asleep. Grams: You figured wrong. I was moments away from calling sheriff Witter. Jen: Grams, I was fine. I was with Henry. Grams: You spent the night with Henry? Jen: Yeah, on the--on the roof of the restaurant. God, it was so beautiful. The boats were all lit up on the water, and the whole town was down below applauding for the fireworks, but it felt like it was for us. And he had a blanket and a picnic and-- well, not much of a picnic, actually. It was 2 lunchables, but it's the thought that counts. Grams, I'm sorry. We just lost track of time. Grams: Is that the fashionable euphemism bandied about on MTV these days? Losing track of time? Jen: I thought that you'd be happy. I mean, it was your advice that compelled me to move forward with Henry. Grams: It was not my advice to sleep with the boy. Jen: You don't know what you're talking about. Grams: To see you slip back into your old lifestyle like you never left it... I expected more of you, Jennifer. Jen: Well, you know what? I expected more of you, too. Believe it or not, I have changed, and it hasn't been easy. Especially considering that the one person that I count on the most can't even see it. [Scene: Inside the Leery Fish House. Gale and Mitch are there talking as Mitch is packing a bag with different things.] Gale: I can't believe you're helping him race. Mitch: Well, it's a boat race, right, not Ben-Hur. Besides, one way or another, this is a fight that's gonna happen, and I, for one, am proud of Dawson for sticking up for himself. Gale: Well, I'm not against fighting for what you want, but shouldn't we be teaching Dawson that you fight with your mind, with words? Mitch: Well, yeah, but... Well, sometimes two people have been through so much and had so many conversations that the only way to really make it clear is action. Obviously Dawson has more guts than either one of us. Gale: What are you talking about? Mitch: Just what I thought might have been going on around here lately... Gale: Between you and me. Mitch: Ok. Well, you know, I'd stick around and talk about this some more but that doesn't really seem to be very effective, now, does it? [Scene: The Boat Race. Everyone are in their boats getting ready to start the race. The race goes on, and Pacey is in the lead but Dawson is closing fast. We are approaching the finish when Dawson's boat is coming dangerously close to Pacey's boat.] Man on P.A.: And they're off! And as the leaders enter the pivotal turn, it looks like true love is out front, but carpe diem, in a bold move here, they are gaining ground. Mitch: All right, now, Dawson, when we get up here, we got to give them buoy room. All right, 2 lengths at the mark. Pacey: What the hell are these guys doing? Will: I don't know. I don't know. Pacey: Hey! Hey, give us room! Man on P.A.: True love and carpe diem are neck and neck. They're fighting for the finish here. Carpe diem is not giving any ground. In fact, carpe diem is not acknowledging true love's request for sea room at the mark. If one of these boats doesn't veer off course, in a minute, we're gonna have a major collision. Joey: They're headed for the same spot. Are they crazy? Pacey: Hey! We got the right of way! Mitch: You're gonna have to back off. Dawson: I'm not getting out of his way. Mitch: 2 lengths Dawson: I'm not getting out of his way! Jack: Give room! Come on! Pacey: Get off our line! Move off! Mitch: We're gonna run him into the dock! Pacey: Dawson, come on! Give us room! Man on P.A.: Oh, they're gonna Pacey: damn! Man on P.A.: True love, with the right of way, changes course to avoid a collision. Carpe diem does cross the line first. Dawson: We did it! Man on P.A.: Carpe diem, they didn't back off at all. I'm sure that's a disqualification. Mischief is approaching the finish second, and unfortunately, true love, they'll finish a distant fifth. [Scene: On the docks. Dawson comes running up to Joey who is waiting there for him, visibly upset. ] Dawson: We won! Joey: No, you didn't, Dawson. You lost. If you knew a little bit more about sailing, you would know that you got disqualified. [Pacey joins them] Pacey: For nearly killing me! Dawson: I got disqualified?! Pacey: I got more words for what you are. Dawson: Ok, let's not forget who started this, Pacey! Joey: Look, ok, stop! The both of you stop this. I'm not some damn trophy. Dawson: No, jo. Let's not forget who started this, ok? Pacey: Let's not forget who pushed me towards Joey Potter in the first place. It was you! Yes! It was you, because you couldn't be bothered Dawson: because I didn't want to get hurt again, Pacey! I still had feelings for her! I still loved her! I-- I still love her. Joey: I hate this. I hate all of this. God, I hate you for kissing me and forcing me to figure out what it all means, Pacey. And I hate you, Dawson, for forcing me to make a choice between our friendship and what I might have had with him. And I hate myself. I mean, I wish we could go back to the way it was. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. Nothing is worth going through all this. No one person is worth this-- neither one of you and especially not me. Dawson: Are you happy now? [Scene: By the docks. Joey and Dawson are there alone talking. ] Dawson: I'm glad he kissed you. Joey: Well, that makes one of us. Dawson: I'm glad he kissed you, because it forced me to deal with the notion of losing you, Joey, and I can't. I can't lose you, not now, not ever. Joey: Dawson, I'm no good for you. I mean, look at the way you behaved today. Dawson: I behaved the way I did today because I was threatened. Joey: What are you talking about? Dawson: Honestly? I'm just trying to be the kind of guy you want. Joey: What kind of a guy is that? Dawson: Well, you went for a guy who beat up a bully and bought you a wall. Joey: That's not you. I know. Dawson: No, it's not, Joey, but I--I-- I'm trying to show you how much I want you instead of just telling you. Joey: You don't want me, Dawson. You said it yourself. You just don't want to lose me. Dawson: Of course I don't want to lose you, Joey. I--I want you more than I ever have. Joey: If you really felt that way about me, Dawson, then you would realize that the last thing I need right now is another person with romantic intentions for me. Dawson: Ok. What do you need? Jo, what do you need? I will do anything. I'm willing to do anything. Joey: I need a friend. Someone who will be there for me without any agenda. The person that you used to be. Dawson: Then I'll-- I'll be there for you. Let me prove it to you. Let me show you. Joey? Jo [Scene: The train station. Will and Pacey are there waiting for Will's train to arrive.] P.A. Announcer: Train 54 to Baltimore now departing on track 10. Pacey: That's you, man. Will: Yep. Pacey: Well, be safe, brother. Will: I'll do my best. So, any advice? Pacey: Uh, yeah, you know, avoid public nudity, stay off drugs, try not to murder anybody-- the obvious stuff-- and one last thing: Don't sleep with any of your teachers. Believe me, it never works out as well as you think. Will: Witter words of wisdom. Priceless. Here's some for you. Don't give up. Pacey: Give up? Will: On true love. It always wins in the end. Hey, be good, man. [Scene: Inside Jen's Bedroom. Jen is sitting on the bed listening to her CD Walkman, when Grams enters carrying a dress.] [Knock on door] Jen: You might not respect me or the decisions that I've made, but the least that you can do is respect my privacy. Grams: I--I--I just-- I just wanted to bring you this. Jen: Why are you giving this to me? Grams: I-I've been doing a great deal of reflection, looking through old photographs, and I came across this dress packed away in a box. Jen: It was packed away for a reason. It's not my style. Grams: I know. Just looking at it reminds me how much you've grown up. When you first came here to live, you were still a child. Jen: And now? Grams: Now you know more. You've become a beautiful, poised, confident, mature young woman who isn't afraid to risk her heart, and I think you finally believe, after all this time, that you really do deserve to be loved. Jen: What are you saying? Grams: I-I've seen the affection you have for Henry and the affection he has for you. Jen: Grams Grams: and I'm not so old that I don't remember how truly difficult it is to wait when you've found someone who gives you the love you so much deserve Jen: grams Grams: and I know you think you know all about the birds and the bees, but what I want to talk to you about is not only the joy of sx but the responsibility of birth control. Jen: Grams, Henry and I didn't have sx. Ok? I mean, we--we literally slept together, but, um, we didn't have sx. Grams: Oh. Oh, you don't know how glad I am to hear you say that. Jen: Well, now that you know what really happened... Do you still mean the stuff you just said? Grams: Every word of it. [Scene: Inside the Leery Fish House. Gale is in there alone lighting some candles on one of the tables when Mitch enters.] Mitch: I thought there was a private party tonight. Gale: There is. Ours. Mitch: What's going on? Gale: Well, I thought about what you said about what's been happening around here lately, and I decided that we should have dinner and figure a few things out. Mitch: But what about business? Our customers? This is an important weekend for us. Gale: Mm-hmm. You're more important. You always were. You always will be. Aren't you gonna say something? Mitch: I was just trying to find the words. [Scene: Joey's Wall. Joey is there starring at it trying to figure out what to do, when Pacey comes up and taps her on the shoulder startling her.] Pacey: Hey. Joey: Hey. Pacey: You thought I was Dawson? Joey: No, I just didn't Pacey: Maybe the better question would be did you want me to be Dawson? I'm sorry. I take that back. Joey: Well, the lease is gonna be up soon. Pacey: I'll renew it again if you want me to. Joey: I--I don't know, Pacey. I mean, I don't want to give it up. It just that I don't really feel like I'm ready to... Pacey: Paint? Joey: Yeah. Pacey: I gotta be honest with you, jo. I really thought after the way he behaved today that you'd love him less, but you don't, do you? If anything, you just love him more. Joey: Pacey. Please don't make this harder than it is. Pacey: Ok. Ok. I just gotta ask one more question, and then I'm gonna stop making this hard on both of us, I swear. If it weren't for Dawson, could you ever love me like that? Joey: Like what? Pacey: Like a soulmate. Joey: Pacey, please don't make me do this. Don't make me choose. I really think the best thing is-- is just to take a couple steps back and... Pacey: Yeah. Look, jo... I'll renew the lease on the wall first thing tomorrow morning. Joey: Ok. Pacey: And I understand. I do. I understand. There are no ultimatums here. [Scene: The Docks by True Love. Later that evening. Pacey rips the True Love sign off of his boat and throws it into the water] [Splash] [A hand pulls the sign out of the water.] Andie: [clears throat] I have something I need to tell you. Pacey: I already know you hate me, Andie. Hey, I just don't think I could hear it tonight. Andie: Ok, could you just stop? I need to say something. Look, I don't hate you. Ok? I mean, I've felt hurt and betrayed, and it would be really, really easy to turn all that anger into hate. I don't want to carry around that burden, ok? That's not the person that I want to be. It's not the person that I am. So I don't hate you. Pacey: Thank you, Andie. Andie: You know, hate's a pretty strong word, Pacey. Pacey: So is love. [Scene: Inside Dawson's Bedroom. Dawson is sitting in the chair alone in his room when there is a knock on the window and Joey enters carrying a tape she had rented.] [Tap] Joey: Does the invitation still stand? Dawson: Yeah. Yeah, of course. E.T.? After everything that's happened, this is what you rented? Joey: I thought it was time to see it again. Dawson: You always said this movie was sad and depressing, remember? Joey: I just feel like watching something tonight with an ending that I know like the back of my hand. Dawson: You mean when E.T. Turns to Elliot and says, "I'll be right here"? Joey: Um, right now, those are some of the most comforting words in the world. [They sit in silence watching the film. Every so often looking at one another when the other one isn't.]	Plan: A: Capeside; Q: What town is preparing for their annual regatta? A: Dawson; Q: Who tries to make Joey the prize? A: the process; Q: What does Dawson come close to injuring Pacey in? A: both boys; Q: Who does Gail tell that she is not worth fighting over? A: Gail; Q: Who finally makes things happen with Mitch? A: Jen; Q: Who and Henry spend a romantic night on the roof of the restaurant? A: another fight; Q: What is Henry and Jen reeling from? Summary: As Capeside prepares for their annual regatta, Dawson and Pacey compete to win, although Dawson selfishly tries to make Joey the prize and comes close to physically injuring Pacey in the process. She scolds him for it, and tells both boys that she is not worth fighting over. After many weeks of deliberating, Gail finally makes things happen with Mitch. Jen and Henry, reeling from another fight, spend a romantic night together on the roof of the restaurant.
PLANET OF THE SPIDERS BY: ROBERT SLOMAN PART ONE 5:45pm - 6:10pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: EXT. PATH (Along a pathway that runs down from some stone steps, a young man walks. He looks thoughtful and preoccupied as he strolls in the evening light. It is MIKE YATES - ex-UNIT Captain - his hair growing long and his clothes definitely civilian in tone. He stops and looks round at the pastoral scene of cows in a nearby field. His moment of contemplation over, he moves on.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. THEATRE (The DOCTOR and the BRIGADIER, also out of uniform and in a smart suit, are sat in the audience of a small theatre watching a cabaret evening. The two men are the only members of the audience neither applauding nor laughing at the northern "Comedian" on the stage. Indeed, they look bored to tears.) COMEDIAN: (OOV: On stage.) Here's a funny thing! Here's a funny thing! When Archimedes - you've heard of Archimedes - jumped out of his bath and ran down the road without his clothes on, he didn't shout "Eureka", he shouted "I'm a streaker!" (The audience groans appreciatively and there is another smattering of applause. The DOCTOR looks pained and the BRIGADIER shoots him an accusatory look.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: EXT. LAMASERY GROUNDS (MIKE YATES is nearing the end of his walk which terminates in large a country house which can be seen through the trees and across a stretch of unkempt lawn. He approaches the house.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. THEATRE (The audience applauds once more, although the contribution from the DOCTOR and the BRIGADIER more closely resembles a slow-hand clap. Some jolly music strikes up...) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Here, Doctor, this is a complete waste of time. (The DOCTOR is about to reply but raises a hand for silence and looks interested as the compère takes to the stage with the next announcement.) COMPÈRE: (OOV: On stage.) And now, ladies and gentlemen, the management takes great pleasure in presenting to you... (The DOCTOR sits up in anticipation.) COMPÈRE: (OOV: On stage.) ...that exotic Turkish delight of the east - Sherezadi! (The DOCTOR looks disappointed and lowers himself down in the seat again. Next to him, the BRIGADIER does the exact opposite and looks interested in proceedings for possibly the first time that evening as the oriental music strikes up...) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY (MIKE walks slowly along a passage of the building. Lamp brackets hang on the wall, pictures on the walls and curtained sash windows look out on the countryside. MIKE reaches the end of the passage and stops suddenly as he hears a chant...) GROUP: (OOV.) Om... (MIKE walks round the corner of the passage and approaches a doorway.) GROUP: (OOV.) Om, Om, Om, Om... (As he reaches for the door handle, there is a clash of cymbals mixed in with the chanting. MIKE quietly reaches for the door handle...) GROUP: (OOV.) Om, Om, Om, Om... (...and pushes open the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR ANTE-ROOM (He is at the top of a short flight of steps into a small room. Down below, through another door, the chanting is clearer and another voice can be heard. It is deep and with a tone that is a strange combination of being both weary and yet alive with greed and wanting...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (MIKE quietly enters the room...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (...walks down the steps towards the second door...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (...and pauses at the second door.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (He listens at the door for a moment...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (Within the cellar, there is another clash of cymbals. On the floor is a mandala spread out.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (Some three foot by five foot, this is a decorated parchment which seems to show a circular map of different oriental scenes and symbols. The map is held by a creature resembling a devil of red skin and snakes for hair. Further snakes writhe near its feet.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (As would be expected of a large house, the cellar is large and slightly cavernous. It is mostly empty and the wine-racks are unoccupied. Round the mandala are sat five men cross-legged on cushions.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (At the head of the group is the main chanter - LUPTON. He wears a checked jacket, has greying hair and has looks that mirror his voice - slightly weary and yet with eyes that blaze.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (Circling to LUPTON'S right sits KEAVER - a tall balding man who holds the cymbals - and MOSS who looks like an ageing hippy student with his beard and glasses.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (To LUPTON'S left sit BARNES - a man about the same age as LUPTON with a perpetual look of worry on his face - and LAND, a young man prematurely balding.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (The door to the cellar opens quietly and MIKE looks through, a nervous look on his face...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... (...as the ceremony continues below.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (The five men stare intently at the mandala.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (The chant of the five men grows more intense in tone - especially LUPTON.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. (MIKE creeps slowly into the cellar and quietly down another flight of stone steps.) LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (The chanting of the group grows even more strident as they reach a crescendo.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (MIKE stares through a spider's web at the proceedings down below.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (To his shock, he sees a blue glow appearing in the centre of the mandala.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... (He leans forward to get a better view...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (...and his face touches the web.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... (Recoiling in shock...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. (...he knocks a lighted candlestick down the stairs. Down below, the group breaks off their chant. LUPTON spins round to see the candlestick as it falls and the open door at the top of the steps but there is no-one there...) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. THEATRE ("Sherezadi" comes to the end of her act and the smiling BRIGADIER is one of the most enthusiastic applauders in the audience - a fact which does not escape the DOCTOR.) DOCTOR: Well...you enjoyed that. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Extraordinary muscular control. Very fit, that girl. I must adapt some of those movements as exercises for the men. DOCTOR: (Smiles.) They'd take some adapting. COMPÈRE: (OOV: On stage.) And now, ladies and gentlemen, a slight contrast - that mind reader extraordinaire, Professor Herbert Clegg! (The DOCTOR leans over to the BRIGADIER.) DOCTOR: This is what we came for. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: And about time. [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (LUPTON has picked up the fallen candlestick. BARNES is also on his feet.) BARNES: Shall we carry on? LUPTON: No, no, no, no. It's too late now. We'll try again tomorrow. (The other three men get up.) LUPTON: Are you sure you saw nothing? BARNES: Oh, it was the wind. Someone left the door open. (Suddenly they hear the roar of a sports car above as it starts up and drives away.) LUPTON: Listen. BARNES: It's a car. LUPTON: Well, there's only one car here. The car belonging to our new friend - Mr. Yates. [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (The next day, the doors to the DOCTOR'S laboratory open and the BRIGADIER shows a visitor in. He is a dapper bearded little man dressed in a felt hat, wearing a bow tie, waistcoat and a cloak. He carries a walking stick. The DOCTOR steps forward and shakes his hand.) DOCTOR: Ah, Professor Clegg. How good of you to come. PROFESSOR CLEGG: To be honest, I'm not quite sure why I have come. Your message was, er, somewhat ambiguous. DOCTOR: Yes, that's my fault entirely. I do apologise. Won't you sit down? PROFESSOR CLEGG: Thank you. (The DOCTOR has gestured to a chair next to a wooden writing desk. CLEGG walks over to it and puts hat and stick down.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: You, er, you want me to do my act for you? Oh, some sort of, er, regimental guest night, is it? Cabaret? I do a lot of dinners. (He takes his cloak off as he waits for the answer.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Lord, no! (Hastily.) Er, but clever stuff, mind you, but not really my cup of tea. PROFESSOR CLEGG: (Smiles.) Oh, then, er, what exactly is it you want of me, gentlemen? DOCTOR: Well, you see, Professor, er, I'm doing a little research into ESP. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: That's Extra Sensory Perception, you know? PROFESSOR CLEGG: Ah, yes, as a matter of actual fact, I, er, I did know that. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Oh, really? Well, I can't[say that I did until the Doctor explained this morning. DOCTOR: You see, Professor, my particular field covers, er, psycholotry, telepathy and, er, clairvoyance as well. So I thought perhaps you might be able to help me. (The smile disappears off CLEGG'S face and he starts to look worried.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: Oh. Well, you see, er, I'm afraid I can't - dearly as I'd like to. DOCTOR: You disappoint me, Professor. PROFESSOR CLEGG: (Nervously.) Er, well, there you are - that's just it. I'm, er...well, I'm not a professor at all - that's just for, er, well, you know...professional purposes, do you see? BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You're trying to tell us that it was all a lot of tricks? PROFESSOR CLEGG: Well, er, not to put too fine a point on it...yes. DOCTOR: Just a word code with your assistant, eh? PROFESSOR CLEGG: Ah! Very, er, very perspicacious of you, Doctor. I feel sure that my secret is safe with you. DOCTOR: Oh, indeed it is, Professor. Indeed it is. PROFESSOR CLEGG: Thank you. (Relieved, he turns to pick up his hat and cloak.) DOCTOR: I assure you that I shall tell nobody that you are really a very powerful clairvoyant. (CLEGG spins round.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: I beg your pardon? DOCTOR: That's your real secret, isn't it? PROFESSOR CLEGG: Oh, why ever should you think that? DOCTOR: You made a couple of mistakes last night, Professor. You gave the answer before your assistant had uttered a word. (CLEGG suddenly looks pained.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: Oh... (He sinks into a chair, looking troubled and ill.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: It's happening more and more. I don't want it to! I...I was quite happy as a performer, Doctor, but...I seem to be developing this...this power! (Passionately.) Oh, I hate it! I hate it! (He stares into space.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: The things I can make happen... DOCTOR: Like physical manifestations? Psychokinesis, for example? PROFESSOR CLEGG: Well...yes. DOCTOR: Well that's remarkable. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Puzzled.) Er, would you mind explaining? PROFESSOR CLEGG: Er, psychokinesis? Moving things by the power of the mind. DOCTOR: A very rarely developed faculty in homo sapiens. Er, Professor? (Correcting himself.) Er...Mr. Clegg. Would you give us a demonstration? PROFESSOR CLEGG: Well, er... DOCTOR: Please? (CLEGG considers and sighs.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: Oh, very well. (He stands up and looks across the lab at a plastic cup and empty plate on a tray that rests on a lab bench - the remains of the DOCTOR'S last meal. As he concentrates on the tray, it suddenly shakes slightly and rises into the air. It hovers above the bench and floats across the room in front of the astonished eyes of the BRIGADIER. CLEGG looks as if he is undergoing a great effort.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: I can't! I can't keep it up! (The tray and its contents fall to the floor. CLEGG sits again.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You ought to use that in your act. PROFESSOR CLEGG: (Snaps.) And lose my sanity? It would be a poor exchange. (The DOCTOR bends down next to the little man.) DOCTOR: (Gently.) Mr. Clegg, your powers may seem to be extraordinary, but I assure you that they lie dormant in everyone. They're perfectly natural. PROFESSOR CLEGG: I find that very difficult to believe. DOCTOR: But that's what my experiment's all about, Mr. Clegg. PROFESSOR CLEGG: (Hopefully.) You mean...you mean...you can find out...why I'm different? DOCTOR: Possibly. PROFESSOR CLEGG: Then...very well, I...I'll help you all I can. DOCTOR: Good! [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. LAMASERY. HALLWAY (LUPTON walks down the staircase in the main hall of the Lamasery, protesting to and following a little man in front of him. This is CHO-JE, one of the main monks of the Lamasery. He is dressed in traditional Tibetan robes, wears round pebble glasses and looks and speaks as if he finds perpetual joy in the world...) LUPTON: Not only a journalist - but a woman journalist! We do not want her here. CHO-JE: We cannot shut out the world entirely, my brother. LUPTON: Why not? You used to - in Tibet. CHO-JE: All things pass away, as you will learn in your meditation. This world of samsara, this world of appearance...is the world of change. (He walks through a doorway.) LUPTON: Yes, but... (LUPTON follows him...) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. LAMASERY. SITTING ROOM (...into an elegantly but cosily furnished sitting room. Resolutely English in style, its only incongruous object is a Tibetan prayer wheel on the other side of the room next to another door.) LUPTON: I came here to get away from the world, so did the others. We came here to find solitude. CHO-JE: One day you will learn to walk in solitude amidst the traffic of the world. (CHO-JE goes to the other door.) LUPTON: It's still not too late to stop her coming. (CHO-JE pauses in the doorway and smiles.) CHO-JE: But it is. Mr. Yates has already gone to the station to fetch her. (He spins the prayer wheel and walks out. LUPTON looks concerned.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: EXT. MORTIMER RAILWAY STATION (At the nearby railway station, the train pulls away from the platform as MIKE waits at the gate. SARAH, carrying a small bag, hands her ticket in and greets MIKE. He gestures to his open-topped red MGB sports car and they both get in.) SARAH: What's it all about? (MIKE doesn't answer. He puts the car in gear and they speed up the entrance hill.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY (An aggrieved LUPTON and BARNES come out of a room and into a passageway.) LUPTON: Of course it's no accident! We heard his car last night, didn't we? He's bringing her here because he suspects something. BARNES: We'll just have to stop for a while - that's all. LUPTON: Stop? Now? On the point of breakthrough? The power in that circle last night ..... (They are interrupted by a loud voice.) TOMMY: Hello, Lupton. (They turn and see a burly, curly haired dressed in a woolly jumper man stood in the passage. He has a childish smile on his face and holds a small flower in his hand up to the two men. This is TOMMY, the simple-minded handyman of the Lamasery.) TOMMY: Look. LUPTON: (Coldly.) Mister Lupton. TOMMY: Yeah, mister. (The simple handyman smiles down at the flower again.) TOMMY: Look...pretty. BARNES: Go and get on with your work, Tommy. You're not wanted here. TOMMY: Finished weeding - look, Barnes. (He holds the flower up to the second man.) TOMMY: Pretty flower... BARNES: Yes, I can see. Now go and find something else to do, will you? TOMMY: Er, gonna have a cuppa. (He grabs BARNES' arm in a friendly but tight hold.) TOMMY: Er, you like a cuppa? (To LUPTON.) Er, you like a cuppa, mister? BARNES: For pity's sake! (He shoves TOMMY away from him and onto the floor. The two men walk off, totally unconcerned about the man they leave behind.) LUPTON: Get the others together. There's no time to be lost. (TOMMY looks sadly at the departing men and then realises his hand is on the flower. He looks down at the crushed specimen.) TOMMY: Pretty...flower...poor pretty... [SCENE_BREAK] 15: EXT. COUNTRY ROAD (MIKE'S car speeds down a leafy lane towards the monastery. SARAH is trying to plug MIKE for information.) SARAH: It's a nice day. MIKE YATES: Yes, isn't it. SARAH: Oh, come on, Mike - out with it! MIKE YATES: Mmm? SARAH: What is it all about? MIKE YATES: I told you - it's a great story for that magazine of yours. SARAH: A couple of refugee Tibetan monks setting up a lamasery in darkest mummerset? MIKE YATES: It's not a lamasery. It's a meditation centre. SARAH: Okay, so maybe meditation's the in-thing. Maybe I can sell it to Percy. I still want to know what it's all about. Look, you'd better start at the beginning. I mean, what are you doing here anyway? MIKE YATES: Trying to sort myself out, I suppose, after that golden age mess. SARAH: Ah. MIKE YATES: I mean, like you said, everybody's going on about meditation of one sort or another, so I thought I'd have a crack at it. Then I saw in the paper about these two Tibetans. [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (LUPTON'S group is sat around the mandala again in the cellar. KEAVER bangs the cymbals to begin the ceremony.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. [SCENE_BREAK] 17: EXT. COUNTRY ROAD (SARAH and MIKE'S journey continues...) SARAH: Well it sounds to me as if these people are just getting on with their meditation. You know, doing a bit of homework. MIKE YATES: Then why be so secret about it? No, they're up to something. I think they're in touch with some...oh, I don't know - some power. It's definitely a job for UNIT. SARAH: Well then, you must tell the Brig or the Doctor. MIKE YATES: And you think they'd believe me? Last time we met I pulled a gun on them. (SARAH smiles as she realises why she is there.) SARAH: Oh, now I get it! [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. (The chanting gets more intense.) LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. (LUPTON starts to almost shout his chant as he stares into space.) LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. (Through his mind's eye, he seems to see the road and the journey taken by the two people...) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: EXT. COUNTRY ROAD SARAH: So, you want me to have a look round and then tell the Brig for you? MIKE YATES: That's the general idea. SARAH: (Unimpressed.) Mmm. MIKE YATES: Please? SARAH: Okay. MIKE YATES: Bless you, Sarah Jane. SARAH: You'll have to convince me though. MIKE YATES: Don't you worry. (They both look ahead. Suddenly, where a second ago there was an empty road, there is now a farmer on his tractor. MIKE steps hard on the brakes as SARAH holds up her hands in a reflex. MIKE turns the wheel round as hard as he can and the little sports car spins on the road and onto the verge. SARAH gasps with relief and the two look back at the road. There is no tractor. The road is empty and the only sign of life and movement is birdsong in the trees.) MIKE YATES: There's nothing there. SARAH: So you did see it? MIKE YATES: The tractor? Of course. (SARAH, shaking somewhat, nods her head.) SARAH: I'm convinced. [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (CLEGG is sat in a chair with a strange and futuristic pair on headphones attached to his head. From this runs a lead that the DOCTOR plugs into a small unit and then onto a device on the lab bench on which are a series of dials and buttons. On top of this is a monitor screen.) DOCTOR: You see, Brigadier, the electrocephalograph will show us his brainwaves on here as we carry out the tests. Right, let's try a little simple psycholotry, shall we? Er, Lethbridge Stewart, my dear fellow, would you like to give Mr. Clegg some little article of yours? BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Mmm? Oh! Yes, yes, rather. (He takes off his wristwatch...) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Hmm. (...and hands it to CLEGG. The DOCTOR turns a dial on the device and three lines of pulse-like readings appear on the monitor.) DOCTOR: Right, ready when you are, Mr. Clegg. (CLEGG turns the watch over in his hands and stares into space with narrowed eyes.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: This watch was given to you...eleven years ago...you received it...in a hotel. Er...a hotel by the sea. Er, Brighton, was it? (The BRIGADIER starts to look uncomfortable.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: From a young lady called...er, Doris. She said it was to mark her gratitude to you... BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Hastily.) Yes, all true! Absolutely spot on! (He almost snatches the watch back from CLEGG as the DOCTOR looks on with a little smile on his face.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Mmm. Well surely you've got enough, Doctor? DOCTOR: A little too much perhaps, eh, Alastair? (The DOCTOR grins as the BRIGADIER stalks away. The DOCTOR pulls another device over to CLEGG. It resembles a sort of all-over hairdryer on a large adjustable stanchion.) DOCTOR: Right, this is what we call the IRIS machine... (He switches it on and it gives out a loud humming sound. The DOCTOR crosses to another device next to it - a second monitor screen.) DOCTOR: ...or Image Reproduction Integrating System. It translates your thoughts into pictures on this monitor here. (The DOCTOR reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out his sonic screwdriver which he gives to CLEGG.) DOCTOR: Try this, will you? (CLEGG turns the screwdriver over in his fingers as the DOCTOR and the BRIGADIER stare at the monitor. For a moment only static appears. Then an image of a fearsome creature from the DOCTOR'S past - a Drashig! The large dragon rears up out of the marshes within a section of Vorg's scope on Inter Minor. CLEGG looks down at the screwdriver, his eyes opening wide in horror. The BRIGADIER looks at the DOCTOR in shock. He smiles and turns back to the screen where he sees himself using the screwdriver to ignite the marsh gas, enveloping the Drashigs in flame. The extraordinary images are intercut with flashes of static.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. LAMASERY. SITTING ROOM (SARAH has been introduced to CHO-JE and, with MIKE, they are in the sitting room as SARAH conducts her interview and scribbles on her notepad.) CHO-JE: We can but point a finger along the way. A man must go inside and face his fears and hopes, his hates and his loves and watch them wither away. Then he will find his true self. It is no self. He will see his true mind - which is no mind. SARAH: And...that's what meditation's all about? CHO-JE: Yes! Then old man must die and the new man will discover to his inexpressible joy that he has never existed! (CHO-JE smiles with great glee.) SARAH: (To MIKE.) Well, good luck, mate! MIKE YATES: I think I'm gonna need it! (They join CHO-JE in his giggles.) SARAH: But, if you do start ferreting about in your subconscious, aren't you going to turn up all sorts of nasties? I mean, complexes, phobias and what have you? CHO-JE: Of course, the demons and the divinities? SARAH: Mmm. CHO-JE: But in our way - the Vajrayana Way - we use the powers to help us. If we will excuse me, it's time for the meditation class. (He gets up and heads for the door.) MIKE YATES: But couldn't that be dangerous - if these...these powers were used wrongly. CHO-JE: It could be so, yes, by evil men in their ignorance and craving, it could indeed be most dangerous. MIKE YATES: I see. (CHO-JE gives him a knowing smile.) CHO-JE: Such a thing could never happen here. [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (CLEGG still holds the sonic screwdriver with a shocked look on his face.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: I'm sorry, I...I saw...well, just fantasies! BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Don't worry, Professor, you're doing very well. DOCTOR: Indeed you are, Professor - indeed you are. (The DOCTOR takes the screwdriver back off him and pockets it.) DOCTOR: Now - erm, do you feel up to bending the odd fork? (Before the PROFESSOR can answer, SERGEANT BENTON walks in with a small parcel in his hand.) SERGEANT BENTON: Doctor, I... (He fails to see the BRIGADIER but does spot the IRIS device above the PROFESSOR. He smiles.) SERGEANT BENTON: Oh, doing a bit of hairdressing on the side, eh? BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Benton... (BENTON turns at the sound of the warning voice.) SERGEANT BENTON: Sorry, sir, I didn't see you there. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: What do you want? SERGEANT BENTON: Well this package, sir. It's just arrived by express post. I thought it may be urgent. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, for the Doctor or for me? SERGEANT BENTON: Well, that's just it. It's addressed to the Doctor or Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart or Captain Yates or, er, Sergeant Benton. It's from South America, sir. DOCTOR: Well, from Jo? SERGEANT BENTON: Well, I reckon so. DOCTOR: Well let's take a look. (He takes the package from BENTON and is about to open it when a thought strikes him.) DOCTOR: Well, no, wait a minute. I've got a better idea. Er, Mr. Clegg. Would you like to tell us what's inside this package? (CLEGG takes the proffered parcel from the DOCTOR'S hands. His hands start to feel the wrapping and his eyes narrow in puzzlement.) PROFESSOR CLEGG: This has come a long way... BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Smiles.) Yes, of course, from the Amazon. Sergeant Benton just told you. DOCTOR: Brigadier, please! (CLEGG continues...) PROFESSOR CLEGG: From beyond the stars...er...could it be a meteorite? Oh...it's beautiful. A gemstone...a blue jewel... BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (To the DOCTOR.) Lord, not that stone of yours? DOCTOR: The crystal from Metebelis Three. Thank you, Mr. Clegg. (He takes the packet from the little man.) DOCTOR: Let's take a look, shall we? (He rips open the packaging and holds up a familiar blue stone.) DOCTOR: Well, well, well. [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY (MIKE is showing SARAH around the Lamasery. The tour has ended in the deserted passageway. From beyond a door comes a constant chanting.) MIKE YATES: And that...that's about it. SARAH: Where is everybody though? MIKE YATES: In there, most of them. (He points at the door. On it is hung a sign which reads: MEDITATION ROOM [SCENE_BREAK] PLEASE BE QUIET SARAH: Well, that's more like it. Can I have a look? (She heads for the door with a smile.) MIKE YATES: Well, I don't think... SARAH: Now, that sweet little lama said to show me everything, didn't he? MIKE YATES: Yes, but he didn't mean you to... SARAH: Well, come on then. MIKE YATES: Alright, but for heaven's sake be quiet. (SARAH shushes him and quietly opens the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. LAMASERY. MEDITATION ROOM (They peep round the door. In a well-furnished room, the students at the Lamasery are sat in two rows facing each other. MOSS and LAND are among them. At the end of one of the rows is CHO-JE. SARAH notices with a frown that no one in the room is chanting. She looks down and sees that the sounds come from a reel-to-reel tape recorder at her feet. She looks up at MIKE for an explanation.) MIKE YATES: (Whispers.) It helps with the meditation. SARAH: (Whispers.) What are they meditating about? MIKE YATES: (Whispers.) Not about anything, but just...meditating. Watch. SARAH: (Whispers.) So what are they watching? MIKE YATES: (Whispers.) They're mentally watching their tummies...go up and down as they breathe. (SARAH smiles.) SARAH: (Whispers.) Like contemplating their belly buttons. MIKE YATES: (Whispers.) You could put it like that. Come on. (They retreat back into the passageway and close the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY SARAH: Well, I hope you all know what you're on about. MIKE YATES: It probably seems a bit daft. SARAH: Oh. MIKE YATES: It's an exercise in awareness really. (He checks his watch.) MIKE YATES: Hey! Come on, it's time we hid in the cellar. SARAH: Oh! Right. (They turn a corner...and walk straight into the sinister forms of LUPTON and BARNES who smile at the pair.) LUPTON: Good afternoon, my brother. MIKE YATES: Good afternoon. (LUPTON looks inquiringly at SARAH who coughs at MIKE to introduce her.) MIKE YATES: Oh, er, this is Sarah Jane Smith. She works for "Metropolitan", you know - the magazine. LUPTON: Yes, I know. Cho-je mentioned that you would be coming. MIKE YATES: (Puzzled.) Did he? When? LUPTON: This afternoon. I trust you had an...informative visit. SARAH: Oh, er, yes. Yes, thank you, most pleasant. (There is an awkward silence as LUPTON stares at SARAH.) SARAH: Well, after a bad start, that is... (LUPTON puts on a frown and a show of puzzlement.) LUPTON: A bad start? SARAH: Yes, well, Mike and I were driving down the road... MIKE YATES: (Interrupts.) Oh, we had a little accident. SARAH: Accident?! A... MIKE YATES: (Interrupts.) The car ran off the road. LUPTON: (In mock concern.) You were lucky to escape. The roads round here can be very dangerous - very dangerous indeed. (MIKE and LUPTON stare at each other.) MIKE YATES: I take your point. LUPTON: (Firmly.) Good. (To SARAH.) You must stay and share our meal with us. SARAH: (Smiles.) Oh, great! MIKE YATES: (Hastily.) I'm afraid that we've no time. LUPTON: Well, at least have a cup of tea. SARAH: (With relief.) Oh, now you're talking! MIKE YATES: Er...no, unfortunately Miss Smith has to leave right away. SARAH: But I... MIKE YATES: (Interrupts.) If you don't go now you'll miss your train. (He takes her arm and almost drags her away.) SARAH: We've got hours yet! MIKE YATES: I think you must have mis-read your timetables. SARAH: Oh! (To LUPTON.) 'Scuse me! ... (As MIKE and SARAH move out of view, LUPTON and BARNES look at each other.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: EXT. LAMASERY (The ornate double front door of the country house open and MIKE and SARAH step out.) SARAH: Look, I just don't understand you. (MIKE doesn't reply. He heads towards his sports car and gets in. SARAH has no choice but to follow.) SARAH: You said you want me to see for myself and now you... (MIKE starts the car up.) SARAH: ...suddenly take off. (The car almost does take off as the pebbles off the drive shoot into the air from under the tyres as the MGB screeches away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY (LUPTON steps away from the window from where he has witnessed the departure and turns to BARNES.) LUPTON: I don't think we shall have any more trouble. That young man's scared out of his wits. Warn the others. We carry on as planned. (LUPTON and BARNES head in separate directions down the passageway.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: EXT. LAMASERY DRIVEWAY (MIKE drives at speed down the driveway of the house.) SARAH: Look, what's it all about? MIKE YATES: That was Lupton. SARAH: We... Oh, so that's why you pinched me. I'll be bruised for a week. MIKE YATES: You heard what he said - he'd been told you were coming. SARAH: So? MIKE YATES: Well don't you see? He must have been responsible for that hallucination - that non-existent tractor. He tried to kill us. [SCENE_BREAK] 29: EXT. ENTRANCE GATES TO LAMASERY (MIKE drives out of the gates of the house and pulls up. He switches off the engine.) SARAH: So why are we running away? MIKE YATES: We're not. (He gets out of the car and smiles down at SARAH.) MIKE YATES: We're letting him think we're running away. Now we'll go back on foot. (SARAH tuts and smiles.) SARAH: The fiendish cunning of the man! (She gets out and follows him a short distance to where he is able to help her up to the railings, prior to climbing over.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (EVENING) (As dusk falls, the DOCTOR, frowning, attempts to read Jo's hand-written letter.) DOCTOR: (Reads.) "And we're at our twenty-eighth native village." No, hang about - twenty-ninth. (To BENTON.) Switch on the light, for me, Sergeant, will you? SERGEANT BENTON: Alright. (BENTON switches on the lab light and the DOCTOR continues with the letter.) DOCTOR: (Reads.) "We haven't found our toadstool yet, and we're not likely to if I don't get rid of this crystal." (Intent on the contents of the letter, neither the DOCTOR nor the UNIT men notice CLEGG as he picks up the aforementioned crystal off the bench and starts to look at it.) DOCTOR: (Reads.) "You see, the Indian porters say it's bad magic. Like it goes or they go. So, Doctor, if you're away on a cheap day-trip to Mars, perhaps you could look after it for me, Brigadier? Or if you're away in Geneva, how about it, Mike? Or my lovely Sergeant Benton?" (BENTON grins.) DOCTOR: (Reads.) "I must say I miss you all very much..." (CLEGG continues to stare at the crystal, turning it over in his hands.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY (EVENING) (MIKE has opened a sash window and he helps SARAH to finish climbing through it.) SARAH: (Whispers.) Thanks. (MIKE lowers the window and they are about to make for the cellar when a voice booms behind them, causing them to jump.) TOMMY: Why are you climbing in the window? MIKE YATES: Er, yes, yes, I... TOMMY: Play games? MIKE YATES: Er, that's right - just playing a little game. (They attempt to move off but TOMMY follows.) TOMMY: Tom likes games. (Hopefully.) Tom play game too? SARAH: (Quietly.) Er...tell you what, Tom... TOMMY: Who are you? SARAH: (Quietly.) Erm, oh, my name is Sarah - Sarah Jane Smith. TOMMY: (Smiles.) Tom likes you, Sarah Jane Smith. SARAH: (Quietly.) Oh, well, you see, Tom, this game...it's called "secrets", and its a secret that I'm here. (She puts a finger to her lips and "shushes". TOMMY smiles and repeats the movement.) SARAH: (Quietly.) Yeah, so, you won't tell anyone, will you? (But TOMMY'S avaricious gaze has fallen, like a magpie, onto a silver broach that SARAH is wearing.) TOMMY: Ah, that's pretty... SARAH: (Quietly.) Would you like it? (She takes the broach off and hands it to TOMMY.) SARAH: (Quietly.) There, now careful not to prick yourself. TOMMY: Oh, it's pretty! (Totally taken with his new trinket, TOMMY lumbers away.) MIKE YATES: (Whispers.) A shameless display of feminine wiles! Come on! SARAH: (Whispers.) Nonsense! MIKE YATES: (Whispers.) Shh! (He goes to the door that leads to the cellar ante-room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR ANTE-ROOM (EVENING) (He opens the door and they step in, going quietly down the first short flight of steps.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (EVENING) (The enter the cellar. It is empty. The cushions, cymbals and mandala are in place ready for the ceremony.) MIKE YATES: (Whispers.) They're obviously just about to start. Let's find somewhere to hide. (Suddenly, they hear movement above.) LUPTON: (OOV: Outside the cellar.) Well, now ... SARAH: (Whispers.) Listen! MIKE YATES: (Whispers.) Hide behind here, quick! (He pulls her into an alcove behind a pillar.) LUPTON: (OOV: Outside the cellar.) Find out ... (SARAH walks straight into a spider's web and stifles a cry. She realises that she's making too much noise and falls quiet. The two duck down and wait. The door to the cellar opens and the five men walk in. MIKE and SARAH move round the pillar, keeping out of sight of the new arrivals as they take their accustomed places. KEAVER picks up the cymbals and clashes them. The chant starts.) GROUP: Om, Om, Om, Om (MIKE and SARAH watch.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (EVENING) (The DOCTOR is still reading the letter. CLEGG'S eyes narrow in fear as he looks at the crystal in his outstretched hands. A blue glow is starting to emit from it.) DOCTOR: (Reads.) "And the coffee's just about as filthy as UNIT tea - if that's possible. I must go now, or I'll miss the next cleft-stick to civilisation..." (Suddenly a strange force plucks the letter from the DOCTOR'S hands. Before he or the soldiers can react, the room starts to shake throwing them from side to side. A howling wind starts up and jars and bottles fall from the shelves. Interspersed with the wind is a reverberating sound which causes BENTON to try and clamp his hands over his ears as he also struggles to remain on his feet.) [SCENE_BREAK] 35: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (EVENING) (The sound is also heard in the cellar but the men round the mandala don't seem to notice it as they continue their chant.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... padme hum... [SCENE_BREAK] 36: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (EVENING) (As the BRIGADIER and BENTON struggle to remain upright, the DOCTOR staggers across the lab in the face of the roaring wind towards where CLEGG still sits in his chair, swaying slightly as he stares at the crystal. The DOCTOR reaches the little man, stretches out a hand and grasps the crystal from his hands. CLEGG cries out in pain and falls back in his seat. The wind stops as does the swaying of the room which falls silent as the DOCTOR feels for a pulse from CLEGG.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I'll get the M.O. DOCTOR: You're too late, Brigadier - he's dead. [SCENE_BREAK] 37: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (EVENING) (SARAH and MIKE are getting nervous as the ceremony continues.) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (LUPTON'S voice rises to a crescendo again...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (SARAH looks on in open-mouthed shock...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (...as a blue glow fills the centre of the mandala...) GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. LUPTON: Om mani... GROUP: Om. LUPTON: ...padme hum. (...and, as the glow subsides, a twitching, two-foot wide spider materialises in its place...)	Plan: A: an investigation; Q: What is the Doctor doing about ESP? A: Mike Yates; Q: Who asks Sarah to investigate strange goings on at a meditation centre? A: a meditation centre; Q: Where is Mike Yates attending? Summary: While the Doctor carries out an investigation into ESP, Mike Yates asks Sarah to look into some strange goings on at a meditation centre he's attending.
[Scene: Rachel's Hospital Room, Ross is sitting next to Rachel.] Ross: You said you'd marry Joey? Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) I'm not helping. Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby? Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go. Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend. Rachel: Well-Really? I thought Chandler was your best friend. Ross: Well, Chandler's my oldest friend, but Joey's my-No! Ah! (points at Rachel) Rachel: Ooooo! Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys I'm gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye. Ross: Rachel said she'd marry you?! Joey: (He looks around the room) This isn't the right room, sorry folks. (leaves) Opening Credits [Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "It's a Boy!"] Monica: Ok, I don't wanna be negative so I'll say that most of the signs you bought are good. Phoebe: No they ran out of "It's a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between it's and a) See? Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey. Chandler: Yea yea. (Pulls the balloon out of his mouth) Monica: Honey why don't you go lie down. Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them? Joey: Why're you so tired? Chandler: Couldn't sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldn't sleep. Y'know? I was like, if I fall asleep now I'll get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now I'll get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldn't fall asleep. Joey: You know what you should've done, you should have told yourself that little story. Rachel: (enters with Emma) Hi! Everyone: Hi, welcome home! Monica: Phoebe did the signs! Rachel: Oh you guys thanks for doing this. Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent! Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh there's something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think... (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it. Joey: Hey so where's Ross? Rachel: He's downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab. Joey: Is he still mad at us? Rachel: Well, you more then me, but he can't stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby. Joey: That's not fair! I can't do that. Rachel: Yeah, I'm not so sure you should be here when he comes up. Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didn't think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said he'd be over it by now. Chandler: Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla. [Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler keeps drifting off to sleep at his meeting.] Ms. McKenna: The numbers we are seeing New York, Chicago, and London are consistently solid, but many of our officers have reported disappointing fields. (Chandler drifts off and his arm slips off the table and he wakes back up.) Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you I'll go straight to my forty two point plan. (Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the man's shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.) Chandler: Walter (nods). [Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.] Phoebe: She's just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy. Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket. Ross: (enters from the bed room) Okay I put most of the stuff away. Rachel: Oh great, the pacifiers? Ross: In the closet. Rachel: The burping clogs? Ross: Linen closet. Rachel: The diapers? Ross: In the hospital. Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy! Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! There's some in the bag but I'll run out and get some more. Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin? Ross: Sure what kind? Rachel: Umm let me think...What do I want, what d-o I w-a-n-t... Ross: Please take your time, it's an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin. Rachel: Blueberry. Ross: Blueberry it is. Rachel: Thanks. Monica: Wow, he's really not letting this go, is he? Rachel: God how long do you think that's gonna last? Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly. Rachel: Y'know I can't even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I can't believe how much I love her, I can't get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her. Phoebe: You know that's... that's her. Rachel: Oh god look at her sleeping. Oh, I love her so much! Oh, I think I'm gonna wake her up. Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know you're never supposed to wake a sleeping baby. Rachel: Well I can do whatever I want! I made her! (Waking Emma up.) Come on little girl, hi! (Emma starts crying) Phoebe: I can say I told you so but she's kinda doing that for me. Rachel: Oh I'm sorry mummy's so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep (Emma continues crying in the background) Monica: Breaks your heart doesn't it Phoebe: It really does... how long do you think we have to stay? [Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler's meeting continues.] Ms. McKenna: Ok if everyone's on board, it's settled, Chandler, (Walter puts his hand on Chandlers hand, Chandler sleeping puts his hand on top of his, he then wakes up and pulls his hand away) Chandler? Chandler: Yep. Ms. McKenna: Are you on board? Chandler: (not knowing what he's saying yes to) Yes. Ms. McKenna: Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. You're gonna love Oklahoma. (Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what he's agreed to.) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.] Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe! Monica: Alright here's something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side. Rachel: Ok. (Starts swinging Emma rapidly and she stops crying) Monica: It worked! Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it won't stop crying. Monica: Umm, she Rach, not it, she. Rachel: Yeah, I'm not so sure. Monica: Oh my god, I am losing my mind. Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having s*x with Ross! [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Rachel's muffin.] Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.) Gunther: Diapers huh? Ross: Yep. Gunther: So I guess Rachel had you baby? Ross: Yep, can you believe it? Gunther: Nope! I still can't believe she slept with you in the first place. Ross: Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a... Huh? Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing it's Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this. Ross: Ah actually we don't. (Ross walks off) Joey: Fine, fine okay. But I gotta say technically, I didn't even do anything wrong. Ross: (turns back) What! (Angrily) You didn't do anything wrong?! Joey: I said I didn't technically. Ross: Okay let's put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel. Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I don't really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying? Ross: And I can even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel, but why couldn't you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didn't. Joey: I know I should've. (Makes quote marks again.) "I'm sorry." Ross: Not using it right, Joe. (He brings his hands in closer to his face then does it again.) Ross: I'm gonna go. Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he can't leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this. Ross: Give me the bag. Joey: No, look, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry! Ross: Joey! Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me. Ross: I'm not gonna hit you. Joey: Why not? You'll feel better! I'll feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes. Ross: No I don't. Joey: A little bit. Ross: No. Joey: Little bit. Ross: No! Joey: (excited) A little bit more. Ross: Give me the bag. Joey: No, hit me Ross: Give me the bag. Joey: Hit me. Ross: Joey, give me the bag. Joey: Hit me! Ross: Joe I'm not kidding... Joey: (interrupting) Hit me, hit me. Ross: No! Joey: (shouts) Hit me! Hit me! (Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.) Ross: You ducked!! Joey: I'm sorry! It was a reflex! Ross: Oh my god, this really hurts!!! Joey: I couldn't help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesn't and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.) Ross: What is the matter with you?!? Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didn't you duck? Ross: Why don't we talk about this on the way to the hospital? Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops." [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Emma is still crying.] Monica: Try feeding her again. Rachel: I already fed her. Monica: I know, that's why I said again! Phoebe: Alright you guys, we can't turn on each other, Okay? That's just what she wants. Chandler: (enters) Hey. Monica: Hey. Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute? Rachel: Oh no, you guys, just stay here, I'm gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs you wanna come? Phoebe: Oh I'm kinda part of this. Chandler: Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler. (Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.) Monica: Okay what's up Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux? Monica: Oh yeah (smiles). Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma? Monica: What? Who says that? Chandler: People who've never ever been to Paris. Monica: What's going on? Chandler: We're moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face) Monica: Excuse me? Chandler: Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes. Monica: (stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma! Chandler: The Sooner State, whatever that is. Monica: Chandler, I don't even wanna see the musical Oklahoma! Chandler: Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top. Monica: Are you trying to tell me that we're moving to Oklahoma, or that you're gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise? Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monica's not impressed.) I'll get out of it. Monica: Thank you. Chandler: (hears Emma crying) What is wrong with Emma? Monica: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa. [Scene: Ms. McKenna's Office, Chandler enters.] Chandler: Umm ma'am, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I don't think I can move to Tulsa. Ms. McKenna: What? Chandler: It's a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying. Ms. McKenna: You fell asleep? Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, ain't that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, here's the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she won't go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is Italy-Please don't make me go there! Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I... Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it, well she's lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. I'll call you from Tulsa. (Exits.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Hospital, Joey is sitting in the lobby as Ross enters.] Joey: Hey, so how is it? Ross: I broke my thumb. Joey: Your thumb? That's weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure you're punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible. Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but can't) Joey: You, you want me to help you with that? Ross: Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form) Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but what's it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher. Ross: Just Ross! Joey: It's pretty, Okay date of birth? Ross: You know my birthday. Joey: Sure, May...tember. Ross: October 18th. Joey: Occupation? Dinosaurs. Ross: Actually I'm a palian... Dinosaurs is fine... the drawing is not. Joey: Alright, who do you want as your emergency contact? Ross: Ah, Rachel I guess. Joey: Okay, relationship, boy this could take a while. Ross: Just ah... just put roommate. Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, you're gonna get together right? Ross: I don't think that we are. Joey: But you two were supposed to be together. Ross: Well, I thought so too, but then she said she'd marry you. Joey: Come on, Ross, that didn't mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody. Ross: Yeah that's what she said. Joey: So? Ross: So I don't wanna be just anybody. Joey: Wow. Ross: You know what, it's, it's better this way anyway. I mean I don't know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. It's just much easier if we're just friends who have a kid. Joey: Really? Ross: Yeah. Joey: And you're Okay with that? Ross: Yes. I mean, it's what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. That's why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) I'm fine. Joey: Hey, for what it's worth, with Rachel I don't think you'll ever be just (Makes quote marks.) "anybody." Ross: Hey there you go! (Smiles because Joey used it correctly) Joey: (makes quote marks) "Thanks." (Ross looks away, not bothering) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Emma continues to cry.] Rachel: Oh my God! How long has she been crying? Monica: About a week and a half. Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so I'm just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.) Monica: Rach, try holding her a different way. Rachel: You guys, I'm doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try. Phoebe: Alright, I'll try, fine! Yes, Okay! Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe) Phoebe: Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back.) Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I can't even comfort my own baby! I'm the worst mother ever! Monica: You're just new at this, it'll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldn't have been easy but you figured that out. Rachel: Yeah I don't think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her. Monica: Okay I'll take her, here. (Takes Emma) Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom) Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow) Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep) Phoebe: (entering) Have I gone deaf? Monica: It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby! Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed. Monica: I can't believe it! She's asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers! Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) I'm kidding. (She smiles wickedly.) Rachel: Oh my God! You got her to stop crying! Monica: Yes I did, I'm Monica, Super Aunt Rachel: You are the official baby crier stopper! Monica: Yes I am!! Rachel: You're never leaving the apartment! Monica: Say what? Rachel: That's your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here. Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no! Phoebe: Thankfully you don't need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel let's give it six to eight months (she leaves). Rachel: Okay so listen I'm gonna go lay down. Monica: What? Rachel: You know the book says that whenever she's sleeping I should be sleeping so... (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down) Chandler: (entering, loudly) Hey! Monica: Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep Chandler: Oh so there can't be any yelling. Monica: No. Chandler: We're moving to Tulsa Monica: (loudly) What!? Chandler: Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! (Walks backwards towards the door) I can't, I can't hear you. (He runs out) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross enters.] Ross: Hey. Rachel: Heeeeey, where have you been? (He shows her his thumb) What happened to you? Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him. Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay? Ross: Okay. Rachel: You know what I really really want? Ross: What, Rach? Rachel: I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again. Ross: (smiles) Right. Rachel: I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy. Ross: Well, that's what I'm here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that? Rachel: No its really okay... Monica! Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Closing Credits [Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are sitting at one of the high tables.] Joey: You know, ah, I've been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, it's not my fault. It's a natural instinct. Chandler: (enters) Hey, what you guys talking about? Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)	Plan: A: Emma; Q: Who is Rachel unable to get to stop crying? A: Chandler; Q: Who falls asleep at a staff meeting and accidentally agrees to relocate to Tulsa? A: the hospital; Q: Where do Joey and Ross end up after Ross tries to slug Joey? A: the coffeehouse pole; Q: What did Ross hit instead of Joey? Summary: Rachel is unable to get Emma to stop crying after waking her. Chandler falls asleep at a staff meeting and upon waking, accidentally agrees to relocate to Tulsa . Meanwhile, Joey and Ross end up in the hospital after Ross, still angry at Joey for proposing to Rachel, attempted to slug Joey, missing him and hitting the coffeehouse pole instead.
[Scene: Underworld. "Witch Wars" studio. The "Witch Wars" logo flashes up on the TV screen and still images of Piper, Phoebe and Paige.] Corr: (voice over) Welcome back to Witch Wars. Tonight on a very special episode, you'll see the ultimate battle when the Gamemasters themselves take on, not just any witches, but the legendary Charmed Ones. (Corr shimmers into the studio and faces the camera.) Corr: It'll be winner takes all, and we will take all. Their lives, their powers, and last but not least, their progeny. ("12 hours earlier" shows up on the screen in flaming letters.) [Scene: Magic School. Great Hall. Phoebe and Paige are sitting at a table. Piper and Chris walk in.] Piper: Sorry I'm late. I'm not moving real fast these days. Are you sure you don't want to be born anytime soon already? Chris: Don't be in such a hurry. Phoebe: Okay, I hate to rush things, but what do we say we get this family meeting started, huh? Piper: You know, you could cut back on those triple lattes a little bit. Paige: Hey, where's Leo? Gideon: He's on the witch killer path, which you all should be focusing on as well. Phoebe: We actually have bigger things to deal with, Gideon. Like trying to figure out who's after Wyatt. And I think I might have an angle on that. Paige: You found the demon? Phoebe: It may not be a demon. Look, we've relied on magic all this time and it's gotten us nowhere. And since I can't rely on my premonitions to help, I've had to resort to statistics. Piper: Statistics? Phoebe: Yes. Did you know that fifty percent of violent crimes are perpetrated by someone the victim knew. So don't you see? Whoever turns Wyatt evil might actually be someone we know or even care about. Gideon: A mortal? Impossible. Phoebe: Really? Because the crime reporter at the newspaper said that it's usually someone you least expect. Piper: Alright, now you're making me nervous. Gideon: Phoebe. (He slams a book shut.) This theory might make some sense in the lives of normal people but you aren't normal people. There's an entire underworld of demons out there who want you dead and today is no exception, which brings me back to the witch killer. Chris: Hold on. Phoebe's onto something here. I mean, we've practically over turned every demonic stone, right? I mean, at least this is something new. Gideon: I don't believe this. Someone is killing witches, possibly as we speak. How is that not your only priority? Chris: Because we're running out of time, that's why. Piper: What do you mean? Why? Chris: I should've told you sooner. Paige: Told us what? Chris: What happens to Wyatt happens before I'm born. Paige: What? Phoebe: And you're just telling us this now? Chris: I thought I'd given myself enough time. I'm so sorry. Gideon: Then how do we know that this witch killer isn't the one that's after Wyatt? Given this new information it seems to time out properly. Phoebe: Okay, it's time to divide and conquer. Paige and Chris, you help Leo with the witch killer, I'm gonna go chase my theory. And Piper, you don't worry. We're gonna find this guy, I promise. [Cut to Gideon's Office. Sigmund is there polishing a crystal ball. Gideon walks in and slams the door shut.] Sigmund: Is something wrong, sir? Gideon: Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. I think they're just about to figure us out. Opening Credits [Scene: Manor. Attic. Paige, Chris and a demon are there. The demon is laying on the floor surround by five crystals. The crystals are zapping him and he is screaming.] Demon: What'd I ever do to you? (Paige picks up one of the crystals and the zapping stops.) Chris: You're sure he's a demon, right? Demon: Does that give you the right to commit unprovoked act of violence against me? (Paige puts the crystal back down and zaps him again. She picks it back up.) Paige: Tell us everything you know about the witches that were murdered. Demon: I don't know anything, I swear. (Paige puts the crystal back down and zaps him again. He screams. She picks it back up.) Oh, the witches. The one last night, she put on a great show, she shot fire from her hands, and-and she put up a great fight. (Paige throws a potion at him and vanquishes him.) Chris: Why did you just do that? He was just starting to talk. Paige: He was lying. A) There was no witch murdered last night and B)... (Leo orbs in.) Leo: Another witch was killed last night. Chris: You were saying? Paige: Okay, that's just a coincidence. There's no way he could've been there to see that. Chris: Did she have power to shoot fire out of her hands? Leo: Yeah. How did you know? Chris: More to the point, how did he know? Paige: Huh? Chris: Maybe he was working for an upper level demon. Paige: Alright, we just happen to trap the apprentice to the exact demon that we're trying to catch and know nothing about. Leo: What are we talking about? Chris: Oh, the fact that Paige just vanquished our lucky break. Paige: You don't know that. Leo: What do we know? Paige: Well, we know that one demon can't possibly be doing all of these killings, so I'm thinking that someone is getting demons to join forces. Leo: So you think somebody is trying to organise the underworld? Paige: Seems like it. And unfortunately, I seem to be the only person that is concerned about the fact that Phoebe is out there roaming around the world without any powers. Chris: Without her active powers. She can still cast spells. Paige: Great. So when the demon attacks her, let's hope that Phoebe can come up with a little rhyme just in time. No, no, no. I'm gonna go bring her some potions. Chris: What should we do? Paige: Pray that she doesn't get attacked. [Scene: Witch Wars studio. Corr, Clea and an upper-level demon are there.] Upper-Level Demon: And what do I get out of it? Corr: Fame, glory, the respect of the entire underworld and of course, the powers of the witch you kill. Clea: If you win. Upper-Level Demon: If I play, I'll win. Corr: A demon of your considerable power we have no doubt. As long as it's entertaining. Upper-Level Demon: Just out of curiosity, how did you come up with the idea, anyway? Clea: Well, we can't take all the credit. You'd think demons would've invented reality television, but somehow humans beat us to it. Corr: Still, it's the best idea we ever stole. And demons everywhere love to watch. So if you're ready to play just draw your blood and sign on the dotted line. (He picks up a sheet of paper and a knife.) Upper-Level Demon: Draw my blood? Why? Corr: So that your powers, should you for any reason lose, will revert to us. Upper-Level Demon: My powers? You've gotta be kidding me. There's no way I'm signing... Corr: I'm sorry, I thought you were planning to win. Clea: And if you don't, you'll be dead, so you won't need your powers anyway. Upper-Level Demon: But it doesn't mean I want you to have them. It's quite a racket you got going on here. Get all these guys to sign their powers over to you and risk their lives all for the chance to kill some stupid witch. (He starts to leave.) Corr: The witch is not the point, the point is fame. The point is... Upper-Level Demon: Fortune, yeah, I got it. That may work on the silly morons you have playing this game so far, but it won't work on me. (He shimmers out.) Clea: If we don't get an upper-level demon to play, we will never collect the powers we need. Corr: We just have to be patient. As the game gains in popularity, more and more powerful demons will want to play. Clea: How do you know? Corr: Because if human beings are foaming at the mouth to humiliate themselves on national television, and they are, then demons are an easy mark. Clea: Upper-level humans? (He pulls her closer to him.) Corr: Donald Trump has his own show. Just be patient, my love, and together we'll rule the underworld. Voice: It's an old goal, but a good one. (A fireball appears in Corr's hand.) Disarm, and I will reveal myself. (The fireball disappears. Gideon appears sitting in a chair near by.) Corr: What is that, an Elder? Clea: Kill him. Gideon: What I have to offer is far better than anything my death will ever bring you. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe walks up to the crime reporter, Kyle.] Phoebe: Hi, I'm sorry to bother you again. You seem super busy. You're always super busy. Kyle: That's why I chose crime beat. So many bad guys, I knew I'd never be out of work. (Phoebe laughs.) Phoebe: That's funny. You are funny. Um, thanks for those statistics yesterday, they really helped me a lot. Kyle: Are you flirting with me? Phoebe: What? Kyle: Because when a woman who looks like you flirts with me, it generally means they want something. Phoebe: Okay, yeah, you got me. Um, I'm interested in dedicating a month of my column to the protection of our children and I was sort of wondering, you know, if something, god forbid, were to happen to my nephew Wyatt, what do you think the police might do to to try to figure out who did it? Kyle: They'd make a flow chart. Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, a what? Kyle: You do realise that I'm on a deadline here, right? Phoebe: Should I go back to the flirting? Crime Reporter: I guess I could use some coffee. Phoebe: That's great. You are great. I'm buying. (She sees Paige orb into her office.) Oh my god. Kyle: What? Phoebe: You gotta just give me one second. (Phoebe races into her office and closes the blinds.) Have you lost your mind? Paige: No. Another witch was killed last night. Phoebe: Oh, no. Paige: Oh, yes. And she had active powers. So I need you to go home where I can keep an eye on you. Phoebe: Paige, you're my baby sister, not my baby sitter. Paige: Oh, that's clever, you're very clever. And I'm glad that while I'm panicking, you have the time to be clever. Phoebe: Okay, it's very sweet that you're worried about me, but I am fine, and I have a lot of work to do here. Paige: Great. Do your work from home. Phoebe: I can't do it from home because Kyle Donie is not at home. Paige: Who is Kyle Donie? Is this about a guy? Phoebe: No, it's not about a guy. It's about a reporter, one who knows everything there is to know about crime and criminal investigation, and since we don't have Darryl's help anymore, he's the only resource we have. Paige: Fine. (She hands her bottles of potions.) Explosive, acid, smoke bomb. Use them. Phoebe: Thanks, mum. (Paige orbs out. Phoebe walks out of her office and back over to Kyle.) Okay, where were we? Kyle: Oh, uh, you were flirting with me poorly, and I was helping you find your bad guy. [Scene: Witch Wars studio. Gideon, Corr and Clea are there.] Gideon: If I can find you through my demonic contacts, then how long do you think it'll be before the Charmed Ones find you and shut you down. They already know about the witch killings, so it's really only a matter of time. Clea: And you're here to warn us? Gideon: No, I'm here to help you. Corr: Now, why don't I believe that? Gideon: I need the Charmed Ones distracted for a while whilst I accomplish an important mission. I thought your game might be the perfect thing. Corr: You want us to target the Charmed Ones? Gideon: No, I want you to use them, make them your next stunt if you will. We'll plant a witch in their care, have her be the next target in your game. You're contestants will have to get past them to get to her. Clea: Get past the Power of Three? That's a suicide mission, no one will sign up. Gideon: The Power of Three isn't a factor at the moment because Piper is convalescing at my school for the duration of her pregnancy. Corr: It would draw upper-level demons. Clea: I don't trust him. Why would an Elder wanna sacrifice an innocent witch and put the Charmed Ones in danger? Gideon: I don't, and that's part of the deal. There will be no blood drawn. You will set up a series of tasks, have the demons, oh, I don't know, steal something from the witch to begin with, let it escalate from there. Clea: Steal something? Gideon: If you kill innocents or in anyway harm Charmed Ones, then your game will be over and you will be dead. Understand? Clea: We don't take kindly to threats, Elder. Corr: Or, um, how would we put the witch target into their care or say, put them under surveillance? Gideon: Get the contestants ready. Put a witch under non-lethal attack, and I'll take care of the rest. The cameras? (Corr picks up a box with five black crystals in it. Gideon picks up a crystal and his face shows up on a screen.) Clever. Clea: Thanks. Gideon: Don't disappoint me. (Gideon takes the box and orbs out. Clea hits Corr on the arm.) Clea: What's the matter with you? Why do you trust him? Corr: I don't. But with all the powers that we'll get from the demons who sign up, we'll have more than enough to kill him when the time comes. As well as the Charmed Ones. (Clea giggles and they kiss.) [Scene: Manor. Parlor. Leo and Chris are there. Chris is looking through the Book of Shadows.] Leo: So what is it we're looking for? Chris: Uh, any demon that can be powerful enough to be organising the underworld or any demon who might be running some sort of training camp for younger demons or any demon who could be... Leo: So basically any demon. Chris: Yeah. This sucks, you know that? We're running out of time here and we've got nothing, repeat nothing, to go on. Leo: We've faced worse. Chris: What's worse than not knowing? For over a year now I've been looking and you didn't know this deadline was looming but I did. I knew every single day. That's why I was never able to relax. Leo: Why didn't you tell us? Chris: Because I didn't want to get you involved. I was trying to protect you. Leo: Chris, we're your parents, we're supposed to protect you, not the other way around. (Paige orbs in.) Paige: Hey. I got a new scrying crystal. Amethyst. I thought we could use the extra power boost. Leo: What exactly are we scrying for? Paige: Witches under attack. I don't want anymore of them getting killed, and that includes my sister who is now determined to stay at the office, ever since your son dropped his little bomb this morning. Chris: I already said I was sorry. Leo: And he shouldn't have to say it again. Paige: Alright, dad. (Gideon orbs in.) Leo: Gideon, what are you doing here? Is Piper okay? Gideon: Hardly. Thanks to Phoebe's ludicrous new theory, everybody's now a suspect in her mind. She's terrorising the entire school. Leo: So you want me to talk to her? Gideon: I'd be eternally grateful. (Leo orbs out. Gideon sees Paige scrying.) What are you scrying for? Paige: Witches under attack. (Gideon waves his hand without them seeing and the crystal immediately points to a place on the map.) Ooh. Caught one. In the mission. Gideon: You should both go. Hurry. (Paige and Chris orb out. Gideon holds out his hands and the box with the crystal cameras appears. The lid opens and with a wave of his hand three of the crystals fly up into the corner of the walls and disappear out of sight.) [Scene: Alley. A witch is being attacked by a demon. She swings a pipe several times at the demon but misses.] Witch: Help! (A mattress near by morphs into another demon.) Shapeshifter: Not what you were hoping for? (The witch hits the Shapeshifter with the pipe, knocking him to the ground. Paige and Chris orb in. Paige throws a potion at demon #1 and vanquishes him. Another demon shimmers in behind the witch and rips her necklace off from around her neck.) Demon #3: Got it. (He shimmers out.) Shapeshifter: Damn it. (Shapeshifter shimmers out. Paige and Chris help the witch up.) Chris: What the hell just happened? Paige: I don't know. Witch: Who are you? Paige: Um, I'm a Charmed One. Come on, I'll take you somewhere safe. (They orb out.) [Cut to the Manor. They orb in.] Tali: Where are we? Paige: It's okay. You're gonna be safe here. What's your name, anyway? Tali: I'm Tali. How can I ever thank you guys for saving me? Paige: Okay, I don't think you need to, because I don't think we did. I'm not even sure they were after you. Chris: Yeah, they were after your necklace. Tali: Oh, my grandmother's amulet. Chris: Amulet. Is it magical? Does it have any power? [Cut to the Witch Wars studio. The scene continues on a TV.] Tali: No, no, not at all. Paige: This is all very strange. Demon #3: Wait, this thing is powerless? Then why did you want us to steal it? Corr: It got the Charmed Ones involved. didn't it? Shapeshifter: So when do we get our shot at them? Corr: Be patient. This was only round one. (He turns to the camera.) Stay tuned. [Cut to a Demonic bar. A room full of demons are watching Witch Wars on a TV. The Witch Wars logo shows up on the screen and they all cheer.] [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Magic School. Piper pushes Wyatt down the hall in his stroller. She sees Mrs. Winterbourne.] Piper: Mrs. Winterbourne? Hold it right there. Mrs. Winterbourne: Oh, hi, Wyatt. Hi, Piper. Piper: Never mind that. I just wanted you to know that Wyatt will not be in your class tomorrow or ever again, for that matter. Mrs. Winterbourne: Why? Is there a problem? Piper: A problem? You mean like when Wyatt was playing with that little girl at the play-doh table this morning? Mrs. Winterbourne: You mean Emily? She's such a sweet little psychic. Piper: She stole his dough, right out of his hands, and you did absolutely nothing. Mrs. Winterbourne: Well, stole's a little harsh, don't you think? She's only two years old. Piper: No, that's not the point. (Leo walks in.) What message is this sending to him? That people can just take from him? That people can hurt him? That grown adults will not be there to protect him? Leo: Piper. Piper: What? Leo: We need to talk. (to Mrs. Winterbourne) Would you mind taking Wyatt for a stroll just for a minute, please? Piper: What! Leo: It's alright, go ahead. Mrs. Winterbourne: I'll be right over there. (She pushes Wyatt down the hall.) Piper: Are you out of your mind? Leo: Piper, do you realise you're driving everybody nuts around here? Piper: Well, I don't really care, see I'm trying to protect our son. Leo: From who? His "Mommy and Me" teacher? Piper: Hey, how do you not know that she's the one who's after him? If Phoebe's right... Leo: She's not. Piper: How do you know? Leo: Because why would anybody we know want to turn to Wyatt evil? It just doesn't make any sense, just like Gideon said. Piper: How do you know it's not him? Or us for that matter. Leo: Piper. Piper: No, I'm serious. What if he saw what this life did to us, and-and how hard it was and just decided to take the easy way out. Leo: That's not what happened. Piper: How do you know? Leo: Because Wyatt is surrounded by love. We love him whether we're together or not. He's got a brother that risked everything just to save his life. Plus he's got two aunts who would rather gauge out their own eyes than see anything bad happen to him. (Piper sighs and hugs Leo.) Piper: Just promise me we'll keep him safe. Leo: I promise. [Scene: Manor. Attic. Paige, Chris and Tali are there. Chris is flipping through the Book of Shadows while Paige and Tali watch.] Paige: That-that's him, the Brute demon. Chris: Okay. "Upper-level demons with overwhelming physical strength. They work alone, generally crushing skulls of their victims." You're lucky he wasn't after you. Paige: Okay, this isn't making sense. Are you sure that that amulet did not have magical powers? Tali: Positive. It was just a family heirloom. Chris: Well, do you have anything else of your grandmother's? Tali: Her wedding ring. Why? Paige: That's a great idea. We can use it to scry for the amulet. Chris: And find out where the demon went. (Phoebe walks in.) Phoebe: Okay, people, heads up. I need your address books, your phone books, basically all your books. Hi, I'm Phoebe. (She shakes Tali's hand.) Paige: This is Tali. She was attacked by three upper-level demons today. Phoebe: Wow, and you lived to tell about it? Congratulations. (to Paige) Okay, about those books. I'm kind of in a hurry. Paige: Phoebe, we actually need your help. Phoebe: How bad was it? Tali: Well, um, they stole my grandmother's amulet. Phoebe: Really? How powerful was it? Could they use it for like, mind control or something? Tali: Oh, no, it was just decorative. Phoebe: Decorative. Tali: Yeah, pretty much. Phoebe: Hmm. Saving my nephew or kleptomaniac demons. I really need those books, guys. Paige: Pheebs... Phoebe: What? This is important. I'm gonna draw up a police flow chart of everyone in Wyatt's life who can possibly be a suspect, and I don't want to forget anybody. Paige: Fine. My book is in my bedroom. Chris: Mum's is down in the kitchen. Phoebe: Great. I hope you find your amulet. Okay, I'll be at the office if you need me, but please don't need me because I really think I'm onto something here. [Cut to Gideon's Office. Gideon and Sigmund are watching Witch Wars.] Gideon: Stubborn little witch! She's not playing along. Sigmund: What if she finds us out? Gideon: She won't. Sigmund: How are you going to stop her? (Gideon orbs out.) Thanks for sharing. [Cut to the Witch Wars studio. Corr and Clea are there. Clea stabs an athame into the table. Gideon orbs in.] Gideon: Athames. I thought we'd agreed nobody would be hurt. Corr: The weapons are part of the game. It's how powers are taken. Clea: But don't worry. Only the players'll be using them on each other. Gideon: More dead demons? Not a problem for me. Clea: Hmm. More dead Elders wouldn't be a problem for us either. What do you want? Gideon: This whole distraction isn't working as well as I'd hoped, especially not on Phoebe. She's meeting with a reporter again, and I won't have him feeding her any more information. Corr: You want him dead? Gideon: No, of course not. I want him out of the way. Clea: Now how are we supposed to do that without killing him? Gideon: Be creative. Plant more cameras. Make him part of the game. Use the Shapeshifter. I like him. Corr: Still, he is a demon, which means there's only so much we can control in the risk department. Gideon: I expect you'll do your very best. (Gideon orbs out.) Clea: Did he just give us an opening? Corr: He must be more desperate than we thought, which means that maybe he won't shut us down after the first witch dies. [Scene: Demonic Bar. Demons are there drinking, playing darts and pool. A male demon sinks the black ball into one of the pool table's pocket. A female demon stabs the male demon with her pool cue and vanquishes him. She chuckles.] Female Demon: Next? (A demon playing darts throws a dart and hits the bullseye.) Demon: Right, finally. (Witch Wars comes up on the TV screen. The demons cheer.) Witch Wars, yeah! Demon #2: Witch Wars! Demon #3: Shh! (Demon #2 vanquishes Demon #3.) Demon #2: Nobody shushes me! Corr: (on TV) You want battles? You thirst for blood? You ain't seen nothin' yet. Of course, that warlock won't be seeing anything ever again, will he? In round two, these three upper-level demons will again have to get past the Charmed Ones to get to the witch. But this time they're not going after her necklace. They're going after her life. [Cut to the Witch Wars studio. The scene continues.] Corr: Before we get started, let's introduce our newest contestant. He's a Darklighter all the way from the northeast underworld. It's good to have you with us. Darklighter: Good to be here. Corr: Now, remember, your athames will absorb the powers of your victims as well as each other. The last demon standing will be awarded all of the powers collected at the end. For the winner, a serious power boost. For the losers, certain death. Oh, one more thing. Since the Shapeshifter failed to get the witch's amulet at the end of round one, he must now take on the added risk of confronting a Charmed One directly. In this case, Phoebe. Shapeshifter: Oh, great! Corr: And the Brute Demon, having won round one by claiming the amulet, has won the rights to make the first move. Brute Demon: Yeah! Corr: Now the players will enter the confessional cave to share their strategies with the audience. Let's watch. (They leave the room. The Brute Demon shows up on a screen in the room.) Brute Demon: One of the Charmed Ones is getting ready to scry for the amulet, right? To find me. Good. I'll be waiting for her, and when I take her out, the witch will be mine. (The shapeshifter shows up on the screen next.) Shapeshifter: It's suicide to go up against a Charmed One. But if I could persuade Phoebe to invite me home with her, she'd be leading me right to the witch. (The Darklighter shows up on the screen next.) Darklighter: All's I gotta do is bide my time, wait for that stupid brute to get himself killed, then make my move. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe and Kyle are there.] Phoebe: Okay, so we have the immediate family and then close friends of the family. Who's next? Kyle: Uh, anyone the child originally came in contact with in the last six months. Phoebe: Okay, but the child's been in seclusion for the last six months. So are we talkin' kids in the nursery and teachers? Kyle: And his mother's hairdresser, or your handyman or clergyman. Phoebe: Ok, let's just say, hypothetically speaking, that the police are running out of time. And they can't possibly research everyone the child's met in the last six months. Who do they focus on then? Kyle: Immediate family. Phoebe: They've ruled out the immediate family. Kyle: Okay, I kind of preferred the fake flirting to this. Phoebe: Yeah, I'm sorry. I just get very emotional when things have to do with my family. Kyle: Well, that's why the cops usually do this part and not the parents, or the aunt. Phoebe: Okay, so what would the cops do next? Kyle: Phoebe, it sounds to me like you're looking for some kind of magic formula, and there just isn't one. (The Shapeshifter peeks around the corner near by.) Phoebe: Well, can't you just narrow it down a little bit? Kyle: Uh, statistically, when it's not a crime of necessity, you're looking at white men between the ages of twenty-five and fifty, usually someone you least expect, maybe even trust. Think on that. I'll get coffee. (Kyle walks into another room where the Shapeshifter knocks him out. He shapeshifts into Kyle and walks into the room.) Shapeshifter/Kyle: Making any progress? Phoebe: No, not yet. I thought you were getting coffee. Shapeshifter/Kyle: I changed my mind. If I have caffeine this late, I can't sleep. Phoebe: Well, I'm not gonna sleep until I figure this out. [Scene: Manor. Leo orbs in at the bottom of the stairs. Chris walks down the stairs.] Leo: Hey, how's it going here? Chris: Paige and Tali went to get her grandmother's ring. How's mum doing? Leo: She's scared. She's holding up. Chris: And how are you doing? Leo: About the same. (Paige and Tali orb in.) Paige: Got it. Tali: So what are you planning to do when you find them? I mean, could this be some kind of trap? Paige: Honey, it could always be some kind of a trap. (Paige starts scrying for the Brute Demon.) Leo: Which is why you shouldn't go alone. Chris: He's right, Paige. If these are the witch killers... (The crystal points to a spot on the map.) Paige: Got it. Tali: Why don't you guys both go with her? I mean, if they wanted to kill me, they would have done it when they had the chance. Right? Paige: No, I'm sorry. Can't leave you unprotected. Chris: I'll stay. Paige: (to Leo) Come on. [Cut to a warehouse. The Brute Demon is there.] Brute Demon: Lambs to the slaughter. (The Brute Demon lays Tali's necklace on the ground, then hides out of sight. Paige and Leo orb in. Paige sees the necklace.) Paige: Okay, that looks like a trap. Leo: Let's get outta here. (The Brute Demon jumps in front of them and attacks Leo. Leo knocks him to the ground. The Brute Demon drops a red crystal. Paige throws a potion at him and vanquishes him.) [Cut to the Demon Bar. The crowd groan.] Demon: Told you he'd eat it. Bald Demon: That's gonna leave a mark. [Cut to the warehouse. The red crystal is projecting the Witch Wars show on the wall.] Leo: What's that? Paige: That's us. (The projection cuts to Chris and Tali in the living room.) Chris: (in projection) We've got to get going. Is there any place we can go... Paige: Okay, what's going on? (In the projection, a darklighter appears in the living room and shoots Chris with his crossbow.) Leo: Chris. (Leo orbs out. Paige picks up the red crystal and Tali's necklace and orbs out.) [Cut to the manor. Paige and Leo orb in. The darklighter is standing there carrying a dead Tali.] Darklighter: I win. You lose. [Cut to the Demonic Bar. The crowd cheers.] [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Living room. Paige, Leo and Chris are there. Leo heals Chris's wound.] Chris: I am so sorry. I didn't even see him coming. Paige: It's okay, it's not your fault. We're being watched. Chris: What? Paige: Sons of bitches. Where are the cameras? Chris: What cameras? Leo: There's some kind of live feed going on in the crystals. Paige: Yeah, except for I think they cut it off. I'm not seeing anything. Chris: Well, who? Paige: I don't know. I vanquished the Brute Demon before I could ask him. What is this, some kind of game? Chris: Actually, it might be. Leo: What are you talking about? Chris: Well, I heard something when I was down in the underworld. But I thought it was just a rumour. Paige: You thought what was a rumour? Chris: Well, that there was this demonic game show. Kind of like Survivor, but only for demons. Paige: And you didn't tell us this why? Chris: Because I didn't think it was relevant. Paige: Okay, that's your theme song of today. Did you notice? Leo: Paige. Paige: Look, I'm sorry. Well, at least it explains how the demon we trapped today knew that the witch died. He was watching it on TV. Pretty sick. Leo: No sicker than any other reality tv show. (Paige and Chris give him a look.) I'm just saying. Chris: Except this one's about killing witches for entertainment. Paige: Yeah. We have to get out of here. Because they are listening to us. We're gonna find you. [Cut to the Witch Wars studio. Corr and Clea are watching them on a TV.] Clea: We need more powers, fast. Corr: Don't worry. Cue the confessional. (Corr walks into the confessional room. The darklighter is there talking into the camera.) Darklighter: One demon down, one to go. All I have to do is wait for Phoebe to kill the Shapeshifter. Then I can make my move. Corr: What if she doesn't? I mean, why wait? Why not just eliminate the competition yourself? Darklighter: Good point. [Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe is talking on her cell phone.] Phoebe: A Reality what? You have got to be kidding me. Alright, I'll be home as soon as I can. Shapeshifter/Kyle: Is something wrong? Phoebe: Kind of. Listen, thanks. I-I have to get going. Shapeshifter/Kyle: I was having a really good time. Phoebe: Really. Shapeshifter/Kyle: Yeah. Phoebe: Well, thanks again for all your help, and maybe we can talk more tomorrow. Shapeshifter/Kyle: Or since you're heading home, I could just come with you. Phoebe: I'm sorry? Shapeshifter/Kyle: Uh, to check out your place... look for any, you know, easy entry points. I mean, most bad guys usually attack at home. Phoebe: Are you sure about that? Because I think I've heard... Shapeshifter/Kyle: I'm the expert, right? (Phoebe grabs her purse.) So let me just come home with you, make sure everything is alright. Phoebe: Yeah. Well, that's not gonna happen. See, I'm not going home. I, uh... have to go somewhere else. My fam... (He attacks her.) Shapeshifter/Kyle: Take me to your house, witch. Now! (Phoebe hits him in the face and backs away.) Phoebe: Chris! Leo! (The shapeshifter moves towards Phoebe. She jumps up and grabs onto the doorframe and kicks him in the chest. The Darklighter appears behind him. The shapeshifter stumbles backwards and the Darklighter holds out an athame, stabbing the shapeshifter in the back. He is vanquished. Chris orbs in.) Chris: Phoebe! (Phoebe picks up the athame the shapeshifter dropped.) Darklighter: You still alive? (He shoots his crossbow and Chris orbs out with Phoebe, the arrow missing them.) [Cut to the Witch Wars studio. Corr is waiting there for the Darklighter to return. The Darklighter appears beside him.] Darklighter: The witch is dead, and I'm the last demon standing. That's the game, my friends. That is the game! Corr: Well, not quite. Darklighter: What? Corr: Well, as you know, all good reality tv shows have one final... (Corr stabs the Darklighter in the back and vanquishes him.) Twist. (Clea excitedly runs over to Corr and puts her arm around him.) Now, it's our turn to play. [Cut to the Demon Bar. The crowd cheers.] Bald Demon: Gotta admit. It's a good twist. [Scene: Magic School. Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Chris are sitting around a table flipping through books. Paige finds the athame in her book.] Paige: Found it. Power-sucking athame. Piper: And? Paige: Well, and that's it. Phoebe: Wait, it doesn't say anything about what kind of demon uses it or what the WW stands for? Paige: No. Phoebe: Well, that's not a big help. Okay, well, we could scry with the athame or the crystal thingie. Paige: No, I tried. Phoebe: How about a return to sender spell? Paige: Tried. Our magic is blocked. Phoebe: So then, we've got nothing. Paige: Yes, we have nothing but a houseful of cameras, and an underworld full of voyeurs. Leo: Piper, why don't you go relax? We can take it from here. Piper: No. I'm fine. I mean, and relax? Relax where? We're being watched. Leo: Not here. Not at magic school they're not. Phoebe: Leo's right. You should go lay down. We've got it under control. [Cut to Gideon's Office. Gideon and Sigmund are watching them through a crystal ball. They see Piper get to her feet and Leo getting up to help her.] Piper: You don't touch me. You're the reason I look like this. (Gideon waves his hand and the vision disappears.) Sigmund: You have to put a stop to this. Gideon: You're missing the bigger picture, Sigmund. Sigmund: Sir, another witch is dead. Gideon: That wasn't supposed to happen. Sigmund: You're dealing with demons. What did you expect? Gideon: Sacrifices must be made for the greater good. Sigmund: How far are you willing to go? Phoebe was nearly killed. Gideon: No, she wasn't. She's strong. She protected herself as I knew she would. Sigmund: She shouldn't have had to. They weren't supposed to go after the Charmed Ones. Gideon: Yes, they were. That was my plan all along, to get the Gamesmasters to try to kill the Charmed Ones. Sigmund: But why? (Gideon walks over to a book shelf and grabs a book.) Gideon: To get them off my trail! To get them believing that it's the Gamesmasters who are after Wyatt, as if they've been after him all along. Sigmund: But what if they succeed? What if they kill the sisters? Gideon: I have no intention of letting that happen. I only want Wyatt eliminated, not them. (Gideon leaves the room.) [Cut to the hall. Gideon walks up to the table and shows them a page in the book.] Gideon: I think I might have found something that can help. Paige: It's the crystal thingy. Gideon: It's actually an ancient form of magical voyeurism. The ronyx crystal predates even the crystal ball. Our demon friends must have found a way to put a new spin on an old idea. Phoebe: Wait a minute. It's got an incantation to activate it. "Mallock cormon alli-tas." (Gideon shakes his hand without anyone seeing and the crystal emits a projection of Witch Wars.) Corr: Welcome back to Witch Wars. Tonight, on a very special episode, you'll see the ultimate battle, when the Gamemasters themselves take on not just any witches, but the legendary Charmed Ones. It'll be winner takes all, and we will take all. Their lives, their powers, and last but not least, their progeny. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Magic School. Phoebe, Paige, Chris, Leo and Gideon are there.] Phoebe: That's what their show is about? Killing us? Chris: Then either me or Wyatt... Gideon: It has to be Wyatt, which means... oh, yes. This makes perfect sense. Paige: What about any of this makes perfect sense? Gideon: Don't you see? These Gamesmasters are the demons that you've been looking for all along. The ones who are after Wyatt. Phoebe: What? Gideon: Think about it. They've been collecting powers, hoping to gain enough to be able to collect yours. Chris: And then get Wyatt's. Paige: Well, it kinda fits into Phoebe's theory then, right? We don't know who they are. But they know who we are. Leo: I'm gonna kill them. Gideon: No, Leo, you're an Elder now. Non-violent, remember? Leo: Watch me. Phoebe: We're gonna have to find them first. Do you think we could trace the signal back to them? Paige: No, not without Piper. I think they're too strong already. Phoebe: No, we don't need Piper. (She picks up the athame.) Because we have this, and they're not going to kill us on TV. We're gonna kill them. [Scene: Witch Wars Studio. Corr and Clea are there.] Clea: What if they never go back to the manor? Corr: They will. If there's one thing I know about The Charmed Ones, they never run away from a fight. (On the TV screen, Paige and Chris walk into the attic.) Paige: (on TV) What exactly are we looking for? Chris: Anything that will let us vanquish the gamemasters without the Power of Three. Corr: It's show time. (Corr and Clea kiss passionately, then Corr shimmers out. Leo orbs in with Phoebe.) Leo: Hi. (Clea attacks them.) [Cut to the manor. Attic. Corr shimmers in.] Corr: Anybody wanna play a game? (Chris grabs a box and throws it at Corr. He telekinetically knocks it aside. Paige throws two potions at him but they don't harm him.) Paige: When are they coming back? (Corr throws a fireball.) [Cut to the Witch Wars Studio. Phoebe kicks Clea in the face and she is knocked backwards. She gets back up and creates an energy ball. Leo orbs in behind her and stabs her in the back with the power-sucking athame. She is vanquished.] Phoebe: Now that's good television. Give me the athame. Leo: Are you sure about this? Phoebe: It's for Wyatt. (Leo gives Phoebe the athame and it glows and sparks with electricity. Phoebe glows for a second as the powers enter her body.) Feels good to have powers again. Leo: Give 'em hell. (Phoebe shimmers out.) [Cut to the attic. Paige and Chris dive over a couch as a fireball heads straight for them.] Corr: This game's over. (Phoebe shimmers in.) Phoebe: I couldn't agree more. (She throws an energy ball at Corr and vanquishes him. She turns to the camera.) See what happens when you make a play for our baby? Who wants to play next? [Cut to the Demonic Bar. The room full of demons are still watching Witch Wars.] Phoebe: (on TV) What's the matter? Scared of me? (Phoebe shimmers out and shimmers back in in the Demonic Bar.) Well, are you? Are you? (The demons make a run for the exit. Phoebe throws energy ball after energy ball vanquishing all the demons. She throws one at the TV screen and smashes it.) Looks like your show's just been cancelled. [Cut to the Manor. Attic. Paige and Chris are sitting on the couch. Leo orbs in.] Leo: Where's Phoebe? Chris: That's a good question. (Phoebe shimmers in.) Phoebe: God, that was great. I wanna kill somebody else. Who can I kill? Chris, find me another demon to kill. Paige: Okay, we gotta get these powers outta her. Phoebe: What? You're the one who wanted me to have a power, remember? Paige: Yeah, not a demonic power. Phoebe: Well, beggars can't be choosers. Oh, poor little powerless Phoebe. She can't even take care of herself. Paige: Okay. I'm sorry. I admit it. I was, I was wrong. Phoebe: What did you say? Would you mind repeating that, please? Paige: I'm sorry. I was wrong. I clearly underestimated you. You are very powerful. Phoebe: That's all I wanted to hear. Now who wants to stab me? Paige: What? Leo: It's the only way to get the powers out of her. Phoebe: Come on. I dare ya. I double dare ya. I triple dare ya. I super duper dare... Paige: Oh! (Paige grabs the athame off of Phoebe.) I'll stab her. Leo, be ready to heal. (Paige gets ready to stab Phoebe and...) [Scene: Magic School. Everyone's there. Paige is pouring champagne into glasses.] Piper: You stabbed her? Paige: Oh, you would have too. Chris: She was pretty obnoxious. Phoebe: Yeah, demonic powers on an empty stomach. Not such a good thing. Piper: No, it was a great thing. You saved Wyatt. Phoebe: We all did. Piper: So we're a hundred percent certain these were the demons we were looking for all along? Phoebe: To our nephew. May he always be safe. (They all clink their glasses together.) Chris: I can't believe it's finally over. Leo: Believe it. You just saved the future. Wyatt: Mum. Piper: Yeah, I know. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Gideon's Office. Gideon and Sigmund are there watching them through the crystal ball. Gideon waves his hand and the vision disappears. Sigmund paces across the room.] Gideon: Sigmund, try to relax. We were successful today. They're off our trail. Even better, their guard is down which makes it that much easier to eliminate the threat. Sigmund: His name is Wyatt. Gideon: I'm sorry? Sigmund: What if Phoebe was right? What if future Wyatt wasn't turned evil by a demon? He's just an innocent baby. What if, in trying to eliminate a threat, we are actually creating a monster? That's such a tender age to be betrayed by those who have sworn to protect you. What if that's what turns him? Gideon: It's possible. Anything is possible. But armed with this future knowledge, we have to try to make sure that it doesn't happen this time. Sigmund: The only way to be sure is to stop this now. Gideon: Sigmund! This child should never have been born. He is enormously dangerous. Why am I the only one who seems to understand that? Sigmund: That's a very good question, sir, and with all due respect, it's why I can't let you go through with this. I'm going to tell the sisters the truth. (Sigmund walks towards the door. Gideon raises his hand and Sigmund stops at the doorway, gasping for breath. Gideon walks over to Sigmund.) Gideon: I'm sorry, old friend. But this too, is for the greater good. Forgive me. (Gideon claps his hands together and Sigmund explodes into a million little pieces.)	Plan: A: Phoebe; Q: Who takes Clea's powers? A: Paige; Q: Who stabs Phoebe with an athame to remove her demonic powers? A: a new demonic reality television show; Q: What is Witch Wars? A: demon contestants; Q: Who competes to hunt down the Charmed Ones? A: the winning demon; Q: Who acquires the witches' powers? A: Corr; Q: Who does Phoebe vanquish with an energy ball? A: the two demons; Q: Who grows extremely powerful due to absorbing the powers of vanquished demon contestants? A: a plan; Q: What does Phoebe come up with to vanquish the demons without the Power of Three? A: Leo vanquishes; Q: Who vanquishes Clea? A: the attic; Q: Where does Phoebe go to vanquish Corr? A: a demonic bar; Q: Where does Phoebe go to vanquish demons? A: a point; Q: What does Phoebe want to make with the demons? A: the rest; Q: Who flees before Phoebe returns home? A: the athame; Q: What weapon does Paige use to remove Clea's demonic powers? A: the group; Q: Who celebrates the victory? A: the threat; Q: What do the girls believe is over for Wyatt? A: Gideon's assistant; Q: Who is murdered by Gideon before he can tell the sisters the truth? A: their plan; Q: What does Gideon's assistant have second thoughts about? Summary: Aware that Piper, Phoebe and Paige are on the verge of discovering that he is after Wyatt, Gideon conspires with two demons to make the girls part of Witch Wars, a new demonic reality television show where demon contestants compete to hunt down the Charmed Ones, with the winning demon acquiring the witches' powers. Gideon makes the girls believe that the game masters, Corr and Clea, are the ones after Wyatt in order to protect himself and his own agenda. In the end they find out, but the two demons grow extremely powerful due to them absorbing the powers of vanquished demon contestants. Phoebe comes up with a plan to vanquish them without the Power of Three as they do not want to risk Piper. Leo vanquishes Clea with a power-sucking athame and Phoebe takes Clea's powers for herself. Using her new powers, Phoebe shimmers to the attic and vanquishes Corr with an energy ball. She then shimmers to a demonic bar where demons have been watching Witch Wars and vanquishes many with energy balls to make a point while the rest flee before she returns home. Paige stabs her with the athame to remove the demonic powers. Later, the group celebrates the victory and believe the threat to Wyatt over. Meanwhile, Gideon's assistant has second thoughts about their plan and goes to tell the sisters the truth, but is murdered by Gideon before he can.
Pam: I'm sorry. You guys have probably noticed my stomach's a little more sensitive lately. So, if you wouldn't mind wearing a little less perfume... and if your lunch is especially pungent, maybe have it in the break room? Jim: We would really appreciate it. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Pam is constantly throwing up because of the pregnancy. If she eats something the fetus doesn't like she is screwed. It's amazing. A three ounce fetus is calling the shots. It's so bad ass. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Phyllis, if you could switch to a different soap, just for a month or two? Yours is kind of perfumy. Phyllis: Now this is getting ridiculous. Dwight: Oh, gee, I'm sorry. I guess I missed the meeting where we all all voted for you to get pregnant. No! I reserve the right to peel my hard-boiled eggs at my desk. Meredith: All morning I look forward to my afternoon cigars and I'm not stopping for anyone. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: I don't think I'm asking for too much. I guess it's just the end of courtesy in the workplace. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [Dwight peels a hard-boiled egg at his desk, sniffs it and takes a bite; Pam stares at him, picks up her trash can and pukes into it] Watching people get sick always makes me sick. And... frankly so does talking about it. So... wow... [Andy, Phyllis, Meredith, Erin, Oscar and Angela all proceed to throw up in various places while Creed looks on eating a bowl of noodles; Dwight stares shocked; Pam wipes her mouth with a satisfied look] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [standing next to a car decorated for leaving a wedding] What do you think? I spent all morning on it. Jim: It is really special. Pam: Yeah, but aren't you supposed to do that to our... no. It's great. Michael: It's just a really important day for me. Jim: Well, congrats. Michael: Thanks. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Dunder Mifflin Scranton will be closed today and Friday for a company wedding in Niagara Falls. So, please leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Believe it or not, Kevin, fire crackers are in the don't column. Kevin: So... you're going to provide them, then? Jim: No. This is a fire cracker free wedding. Kevin: What the hell? Dwight: Come on. You've got to be kidding me. Pam: Ok. All of these things are important to remember but the most important thing is no one say anything about my pregnancy at the wedding. Jim: Absolutely. 'Cause not everyone knows and some people may be offended. Angela: Decent people everywhere will get offended. Pam: Well, we're thinking of my grandmother who we haven't told and is very old-fashioned. Angela: Well, you're lucky you have a grandmother. Some of us have to be our own grandmothers. Jim: That's nice. Pam: You know, Angela, you don't have to come to the wedding. Angela: Really, Pam... Michael: Yes she does. Yes she does. We're all gonna go and we're gonna have a good time. [hugs Angela] Angela: Ow! He pinched me! Michael: No. Pam: Next time we're all in this room Jim and I will be married. Dwight: We'll see. Pam: Thank you, Dwight. Jim: Good-bye. Pam: See you later. [others say good-bye] Michael: And, hey, don't embarrass me when we go to Niagara. Andy: What happens in Niagara, stays in Niagara. [laughter] Michael: Don't. Don't. Don't. You stole my joke. Don't steal my joke. Andy: No... I didn't steal your joke. Michael: Yes. I said that yesterday. Dwight: But you can say that about anything. Michael: Dwight... Dwight: What happens in accounting, stays in accounting. Kevin: Oh yeah. Michael: No. No. No. Please, please. Dwight, that's my joke. Dwight: It's easy. That's what I'm saying. Michael: This is what I'm talking about. When we leave here and go up to Niagara Falls we are representing Dunder Mifflin, everyone. This is a very important wedding for the branch. The most important wedding until I get married. So, I want you all on your best behavior or so help me, God. So... I will see you up there in Viagra Falls! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Pam and Jim's wedding will be the single best pick up destination in the history of the universe. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I stole the guest list from Jim's desk and I search engined every female on both sides of the family. Michael: Get out of here. Dwight: Yes. Michael: Oh, my God, Dwight. Dwight: For instance, Pam's cousin, Jocelyn Webster. Michael: There's... a name. Dwight: Two years ago she was selling a mountain bike. Michael: Oh. Well, tell me about Jocelyn. Dwight: Well... she was really into mountain biking but not so much lately. Micheal: Ok. Dwight: She had a couple hundred dollars to spend, I mean, if she was able to sell her bike. Michael: Is that all you have on her? Dwight: Well, if this is in fact her because it is a very common name. Michael: You're an idiot. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: People don't think of me as one of the sharper dressers in the office... but I'm going ot turn that around at this wedding. I thought, how could I take it to the next level? The hair. [Angela beeps her car horn.] It's the hair-- [beeps again.] Ok. Ok. I'm going. [long beep] God. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [in Andy's car, Andy driving] Hey, do one of you guys want to sit up front with me so I have someone to talk to? It's like a five hour drive-ish, you know. Kelly: This is so much cooler. We feel like wer're in a limo and you're our driver. Andy: Mmm-hmm. Erin? Erin: Oh no. That wouldn't be fair to leave Kelly alone in back. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Not only is Erin really sweet and cute... she smell's like my mom. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: [in car] Hey, my aunt told me something neat. Jim: Yeah? Pam: She said everything with the wedding goes by so fast we should try to take mental pictures of the high points. Jim: Oh, wow. That's cool. Pam: Yeah. Jim: [aims imaginary camera at Pam] Click. Oh, you blinked. Damn it. Now that's in my brain forever. Pam: Oh. Jim: Lousy Picture. Pam: We should have hired a professional to take our mental pictures. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [in car, Michael driving] Oh! God! Wow! Oh. I was asleep. Dwight: What? No way! Michael: Those glasses are super dark. Dwight: Oh. God. Michael: Alright. We need some tunes, I think. Dwight: You know what? I made you a cd... Michael: You did? Dwight: Mmm-hmm. Michael: That was nice of you. Dwight: This is to play when you bring a woman back to your hotel room. Michael: Oh, very thoughtful. A little mix to set the mood. Delightful. Pop that in. Dwight: You're gonna like this. [Dwight's voice on the cd] "Hello. This is Dwight Schrute. If you are listening to this you are a lucky woman Michael has seduced. Ah to be in your shoes. 'What's next?', you're probably wondering. Don't be scared of you're night in heaven--" [Michael turns off cd] Michael: Are you serious? You want me to play that for a woman coming to my room? Dwight: Yeah. It's practical. Michael: No. No. That's not how it works. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Niagara Falls used to be, like, a spiritual experience for people. They stayed in tents and it blew their minds. It's really kitchy now, which is a lot of fun. [SCENE_BREAK] Front Desk Clerk: Halpert... Jim: And Beesly. Tonight we're in two seperate rooms and tomorrow night is the honeymoon suite. Front Desk Clerk: Great. Jim: I know. We're pretty excited, too. Pam: Can we take a look at the suite now? Front Desk Clerk: Oh, I'm sorry. Somebody just checked in. Pam: Oh... is there another wedding at the hotel this weekend? Front Desk Clerk: Oh, no. Just an individual. That man over there. Andy: Hey. I got the room the night before you guys. I'll break in the bed. [laughs] Jim: I don't like that. Pam: I'm gonna need the name and cell phone number of the housekeeper responsible for changing the sheets, please. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hello. Reservation for Michael Scott. Front Desk Clerk: One moment while I check. Dwight: The proximity to the falls makes everything smell like a basement. Michael: Mmm-hmm. Front Desk Clerk: I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not seeing you in here. When did you make your reservation? Michael: I don't have a reservation but I want a room in the Halpert-Beesly block of rooms. Front Desk Clerk: Oh, ok. Unfortunately, sir, the block only applies to the rate. I'm afraid we're all sold out. Dwight: Dwight Schrute. I have a reservation. Confirmation number: Romeo. Tango. G7745. Front Desk Clerk: Yes. Schrute. Dwight: And I had spoken to Teresa about a room with two safes? Front Desk Clerk: Sure. No problem. Dwight: Ok. Front Desk Clerk: Here's your key, Mr. Schrute. Michael: Dwight. Dwight, Dwight. I need to stay in your room. Dwight: No way. What if I meet someone? Michael: I'm staying in your-- Come on, Dwight. Dwight: No. No. Michael: I would do the same for you. Dwight: You would? Michael: Yes. Dwight: Really? Michael: Yes... just go-- Dwight: Wait a second. Oh. No, no, no. This must be some kind of mistake. This reservation seems to be under an M. Scott. This must be yours. Michael: Oh. Thank God. Dwight: Oh no. Now that I don't have a room, can I stay with you? Michael: Um... no. And you know what? I would say yes but you can't. And I'll tell you why. Dwight: Please? Michael: If I have a woman up there and things are getting amorous, she's going to get turned off if she looks in he bathroom and sees you brushing your teeth with butter and clay. Dwight: Mmm-hmm. Michael: Ok. Dwight: Ok. Ok. A-ha-ha! [rips reservation out of Michael's hand] That was a test. You have failed. For this is my room. You would not share with me. Michael: I don't have a room? Dwight: No you do not. Michael: Ok. 'Oooh. You must pass the dungeon wisdom test.' Dwight: It worked. Michael: Jerk. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: When Mary was denied a room at the inn... Jesus was born. When Michael was denied a room at the inn, we don't know what happens because that story hasn't been told yet. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Hudson. Michael: Hey. Stanley? Can I stay in your room tonight? Stanley: Are you crazy? I brought Cynthia with me. Michael: Not in the same bed. In the other bed. Stanley: I got one queen size bed. Michael: You... are... kidding me. Stanley: A queen size bed is five feet wide. I am not five feet wide, Michael. Michael: I'm not a physics major, Stanley. I'm just saying be careful. Hey, guys. Hey. Could I stay in your room tonight? Erin: Oh. Gross. Kelly: Blow my brains out. Michael: That's rude. Toby: Michael, I have one extra twin bed, if you want. Michael: You are going to be slepping by yourself for the rest of your life, so you just get used to it. [SCENE_BREAK] Mr. Halpert: So, which one is Pam's grandma? Pam: Oh, Mema? She's the one in the teal suit. She's the only 80 year old with no smile wrinkles. Jim: Dad, remember, no mention of the baby, right? Mr. Halpert: No. Michael: Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's very conservative. So, mum's the word. Jim: Mom, Dad. This is Michael Scott. Mr. Halpert: Oh. Michael: How ya doin'? Mr. Halpert: Hi. Michael: Nice to meet you. Mr. Halpert: Nice to meet you. Michael: Who's doing a toast? I would like to go third. Sort of bat clean up and-- Jim: Michael, I thought we discussed that we would rather you not speak, like, at all. Because it's just going to be blood relatives, I think. Michael: [talking quietly, trying not to move his lips]That is seriously going to impeed my ability to hook up with your female relatives. Jim: Pretty sure everyone heard that. Michael: Didn't move my lips. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Hey, Mema. Mema: I wasn't sure about your branch of the family. After I heard about your parent's divorce. But you and Jim are just perfect. God bless you. Pam: Oh. Thank you... but nobody's perfect. Mema: Well... I wouldn't care to live if I thought that. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Mr. Beesly. How are ya? Mr. Beesly: I'd like you to meet Christy Kelly. Jim: Oh. Is this, uh, is this your niece? Mr. Beesly: [laughs] No no. She's my girlfriend. Hey? Can you make room at the head table? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: From quarter three to quarter four up 17 percent, while his sales down two percent. It's all in the report. Little Girl: Why would they make the bad man a boss if you're so much smarter? Dwight: Excellent question. Because while I was busy trying to improve the company and make it a success, Jim... the bad man was busy kissing the boss man's butt. Kids: Ewwww! Dwight: That's right. It is ew. It is very ew. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Oscar, Kevin, this is my sister, Penny. She's also my maid of honor. Oscar: Pleased to meet you. Penny: I'm sorry, it's Kevin. I thought it was Gil? Kevin: She thought I was your boyfriend. Oscar: You thought I was dating this? What the hell is wrong with you? Pam: Oscar, it was an honest mistake. Oscar: Him? Him? Kevin: Oscar, I would be proud to date you. Penny: I'm sorry. Kevin: I'm not gay. I'm Kevin. Penny: Nice to meet you, Kevin. Kevin: Yes. Oscar: You owe me and apology. Penny: I'm so sorry. Kevin: Are you seeing anyone right now? Pam: She has a boyfriend. He's out of town. Kevin: Cool. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: [to a girl sitting next to him] I was the youngest VP in the company history. Meredith: More recently, he worked in a bowling alley. Tell her one of your funny bowling alley stories. Ryan: Um... also-- [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: How did Meredith get put at the young people's table? Kevin: She probably switched cards with someone. Like I did with Erin. Andy: What? You're kid-- That's-- You're-- [SCENE_BREAK] Isabel: Jim and Pam, I can't tell you how happy I am to be here. Michael: Head table, where I belong. Dwight: It's just for family. Michael: Well, who's that one? Dwight: Isabel Poreba. Oh, I've got stuff on her. [laughs] In 1996 her tenth grade volleyball team went 10-2. Michael: What am I supposed to do with that, Dwight? Dwight: That's a very good record. [SCENE_BREAK] Pete: Alright, so I'll be like, 'You're so sweet guys and so kind'. Tom: That's when I'll do the face, like- Pete: Like, 'What? What?'. And then we'll just give him a little punch in the back and-- Tom: A noogie? Pete: You know what? Never too married for a noogie. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: They have hilarious material and they are going to totally deliver it wrong. I would kill with the brother stuff. It should be me... up there. It should be me and Pete, not Pete and Tom. [SCENE_BREAK] Tom: Pam, you've got the greatest smile and you're body is really fine. Pete: Smoking. Tom: Hoping it'll make our wives take it up a notch. Pete: A little mo' cardio. Michael: That's not appropriate. Hello. Hi, everybody. I promised I wasn't gonna make a toast and I'm not going to. Just going to do a little free standing comedy and if at the end everybody wants to raise their glasses to Pam and Jim, then so be it. Hey, what is the deal with the Smart Car? How smart is that? Those things are tiny. Can you even drive them in traffic? 'I'm so smart. E=mc... squared. I drive a Smart Car.' That's not smart in my book. The real smart car is Kitt from Knight Rider. Dwight: Knight Rider. Michael: That's a car that can talk. Can Smart Car talk? Nope. Dwight: No. Michael: That's not smart. And also, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. [no one is laughing] Dwight: Very smart. Michael: And... you... everybody can laugh. It doesn't have to just be the idiots. Everybody can laugh. Jim: No. Michael: Yeah. Go ahead. Jim: Alright. Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming. Pete: Douche. Jim: Aw, thanks, Pete. That was really nice. I just want to say how happy we are that all of you are here tonight. And I want to especially thank those of you who traveled from far away to be here with us tonight... especially the Flordia cousins who, obviously, can't take a hint. [laughter] Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing that I've ever had to do... which was just to wait. Uh, don't get me wrong. I flirted with her. Pam, I can now admit in front of my friends and family that I do know how to make a photo copy. Didn't need your help that many times. And do you remember how long it took you to teach me how to drive a stick? Pam: Like... a year. Jim: I've been driving stick since high school. So... yes. For a really long time that's all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think even then I knew that... I was waiting for my wife. So... I would like to propose a toast. So if you'd all raise your glasses. Not Pam, for obvious reasons, but everyone else. If you would raise your glasses-- Mema: What's obvious? Why can't Pam drink? Jim: Pam can't drink? I didn't-- I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I did. She can do whatever she wants, though she shouldn't. She shouldn't because she's an alcoholic. Pam is an alcoholic. That's not true. I-- no. What we want-- the real reason is that, that Pam's pregnant. Michael: [clears throat] Ok. Ok. Hey. What I think Jim is trying to say is that... they had an accident and you know what? These two people, they're living together, they're having lots of consentual sex-- Mema: They were living together? Michael: Yes. Yes they were living together. Yes and you know what? You can't expect them to be careful every time. Because, frankly, it's just a different sensation. Jim: Michael. Michael: When you c-- well? Am I wrong? They say it's not different, but it's a different sensation. Jim: Oh, my God. Please. Michael: When you use something to block-- I think everybody knows what I am talking about. It's not necessarily different for the woman-- Pam: Michael. Michael: ...but it's different for the-- ok. Ok. Pam: Michael. Stop. Michael: Alright. My point is I said what I wanted to say and Mema, I hope you heard every word. Jim: Alright. Michael: Jim. Jim: To waiting. Everyone: [quiet and scattered] To waiting. [SCENE_BREAK] Mema: I should have known. The hotels television set had a movie on called "Bruno" last night. The remote control had so darn many buttons on it, I couldn't turn it off. So I had to just sit there while it happened to me. I wondered, 'How could they pick such a hotel?' Hmmm. Now I know. Pam: Mema. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: That was a little touch and go at first but I think we saved it. Jim: I can't believe it was me. Michael: I know. I can't believe it was you, either. I actually think it takes a lot of pressure off of me. Jim: Is there something about being a manager that makes you say stupid things? Michael: I have not found that to be the case. Pam: Hey, smooth guys. Jim: I'm so sorry. Michael: Can you believe it? He screwed up, not me. Pam: Mema's not coming to the wedding. She's leaving tomorrow morning. Jim: Oh, my God. Are you serious? Michael: There's gonna be a free room? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hi, Mema. It's Michael. Mema: Oh. You're that foul guy that kept talking about intercourse. Michael: Yes. Yep. One in the same. May I? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I am actually great with old women. In fact, for the longest time, my best friend was my grandma... and then she met Harriet and now she thinks she's better than everybody. [SCENE_BREAK] Mema: I want to go to bed but I can't. I can't turn that television off. Michael: Oh. Ok. Well... hook you up, there. [turns off tv] Mema: Oh. Thank you. Michael: You're welcome. Mema: It was that horrible Charlie Rose. Michael: Oh. Isn't he terrible? May I? Here's the thing. Umm... Mema, I think you just need to chill out about this whole Pam getting pregnant thing. It's not 1890 anymore. It's modern day. And women have sx before marriage and I think we need to celebrate that. And I know in your day she would be considered a whore but, now, women go out and they have sx and they get wild and they take their tops off and they have pictures taken of them and we need to encouage them. That's part of life. Mema: People are like cats and dogs these days. Michael: Exactly. Mema: This used to be such a great country. Michael: I know. Mema: I don't know what happened to it. Michael: They're gonna name the baby after you, you know. They're gonna call it Mema. Mema: You mean, Sylvia. Michael: Yes, and if it's a boy they will call it Sylvio. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Partay. Room 639. Kevin: Yes! Andy: Chicks are gonna be off the hook. Guys, too, Oscar. Like Calvin Klein models. Kevin: That sounds epic. Can we bring anything? Andy: Nothing. Except $40 for beer and any hot chicks you know. 'Cause that would help me deliver on some promises I made. Woo! [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: No one from the office has been to a real Bernard throw down. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: If I was girl, I would seriously reconsdier coming to this party. But don't tell anyone that I said that, 'cause I want them to come. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: And where do you think you're going? Pam: I was just going to go down to the hotel bar for a little bit. Angela: Well, why don't I just save you some time and kick you in the stomach instead? Pam: I just wanted to get out of my room for a little while. Angela: Mmm-hmm. Ok. I'll go with you. Come on. Pam: [sighs] Nevermind. Angela: Are you sure? Pam: Yeah. Angela: It'll be fun. Pam: No. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: What are you wearing? Dwight: What? It's a casual, social outfit. Michael: Looks like you're going to a fish fry, Dwight. Dwight: No. They're howling at the moon. It's suggestive to women because of the howling during s*x. Michael: Ok. [Dwight howls] That's not appropriate. [Dwight continues howling] Uncool. Uncool, Dwight. [they both howl] Ok. Ok. Come on. Let's go. [both howl as they exit] [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: It's a good idea. Oscar: It's not a good idea. There's no such thing as a good hairpiece. Kevin: Yeah. But that's easy enough for you to say, Oscar. You have that thick, beautiful, Chicano hair. So nice. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I'm just worried about the farm, ya know? Mose hates to geld the horses by himself. Michael: Dwight, Dwight. Shut up about the farm. It's not relatable. Nobody owns a farm. Isabel: Wait. You're worried about your horses? That's cool. How many horses do you have? Dwight: Nine and three-quarters. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I invented a device called 'Burger on the Go'. It allows you to obtain 6 regular size hamburgers, or 12 sliders, from a horse without killing the animal. George Foreman is still considering it. Sharper Image is still considering it. Sky Mall's considering it. Hammacher Schlemer is still considering it. Sears said, 'No'. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [talking to an attractive woman] Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Up. I ball the entire time. I can not watch Pixar. Dwight: Michael. Michael: Yes. Dwight: Drop this one. Abort. Michael: Why? Dwight: I found twins. Michael: Oh, my God. Twins. I'm sorry. You understand. Nice to meet you. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Aren't they magnificent? Michael: They're men, Dwight. Dwight: I love finding a good set of twins. Michael: Something is wrong with you. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: [everyone is dancing] Go Meredith. Nice moves. Andy: You call that a robot? Try being more robotic, ok? Like this. Kelly: Lame! What else you got, Andy? Andy: How about a little bit of this. Erin: Oh yeah. What else you got? Kevin: What else you got? Andy: Did someone change my name to Baskin Robbin? Because I feel like a banana split. Woo! [Andy does a split and screams out in pain] Erin: What else you got? [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. Pam's here. [knocks on Pam's door] Pam? [knocks again] Andy: I was dancing and I did a split and I landed on my car keys in my pocket. Pam: What? Andy: I tore my scrotum. I need you to take me to the hospital. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Andy, I am getting married in 8 hours. Andy: Everyone else is too drunk. Just don't let me die here. Pam: [on the phone] Hey, hey! Where are you? Can you take Andy to the hospital? Jim: [over phone] What? Pam: He tore his scrotum dancing. Jim: [over phone] What? Pam: He is in my room icing his balls. Jim: [over phone] What? Pam: Please stop saying what. Can you take him? Jim: Look, I would so take him in any other circumstance, but I'm pretty certain I'm completely wasted. Pam: Your brothers took you out drinking? Jim: Uh... Michael: [over phone] Is that Pam? Hey, have her come out! Have her come out! It would be like Coyote Ugly. Pam: That's Michael. You're out with Michael? Jim: [over phone] And Dwight. Dwight: [over phone] Hey-O! Jim: Pam, it just happened. Pam: Okay, fine. I'll take him. Jim: I love you. Okay, I gotta--I gotta go! Michael: [over phone] I love you! [laughs] Pam: Are you pushing me off the phone? Jim: No. Let's talk for a long time. Pam: Goodbye. [hangs up phone] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Mmm! It's after midnight. [points at Jim] Michael and Dwight: You're married. [hugs Jim] He's married! Dwight: Congratulations. Jim: That's not how that works. Dwight: Oh my goodness. Michael: Oh my God. You're not going to be able to talk back. Dwight: You'll have Pam to answer to. Michael: She'll be sitting home saying, "Jim... take the baby to the zoo cause I want to sit at home and eat bon-bons." [Dwight laughs] "And... and clip my toenails." Dwight: "Jim... hey why don't you braid my hair. I want to watch TV." Michael: Now you sound like Kermit. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Are you sure this is the right way? Pam: Nope. I, like you, have never been here before. Andy: Well, at least slow down a little bit because every little bump in the road is major pain on... my scrotum. Pam: Look, I'm not the one who asked you to do a split when you've never done one before. Andy: I was trying to liven things up a little bit. I was kinda doing your job so-- Pam: My job? My job is to get married in the morning. That's my job. Andy: Well it's also to make sure that we have a great time at your stupid wedding, so-- Andy: [Pam swerves the car back and forth] Ow, ow! [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [snickers] I spent the night with the bride the night before the wedding. Ah yeah. She stepped on my hand on her way to the bathroom. Pam: Andy, did I dream that you were crying through the night? Andy: No. No that was real. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [folding his pants on top of the ice machine, man walks in with ice bucket] Why don't you take a picture. It'll last longer. God. Can't I get a little privacy? [SCENE_BREAK] Hotel Employee: [Kevin rings bell at the front desk] Good morning. How can I help you? Kevin: I left a pair of dress shoes in a bag outside my door last night to be cleaned at polished, but they haven't been returned yet. Hotel Employee: You must be Mr. Malone. One moment please. Kevin: Thank you. Hotel Employee: [whispers to manager] Sir. It's the man with the shoes. Hotel Manager: Mr. Malone. Your shoes are gone. Kevin: They were stolen? Hotel Manager: No. Destroyed. Kevin: What? Hotel Manager: The bag was opened by our shoe shine and the smell overcame him. I too smelled them and made the choice that they must be thrown away. Incinerated actually. Kevin: But that was my only pair of shoes. Hotel Manager: It became a safety issue, sir. Kevin: Well... well damn-it. Hotel Employee: I can offer you a complimentary breakfast. Kevin: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [walking out of hotel room with a woman] You have everything? Isabel: Hmm-hmm. Dwight: Cell phone? Charger? Isabel: Yeah. So you sure you don't want breakfast? It's the most important meal of the day. Dwight: It really is. I'm not hungry. I ate a whole bunch of sunflower seeds after you went to sleep. And besides, I wouldn't want to take you away from Pam on the morning of her wedding. She needs you Isabel. Isabel: That's really sweet, Dwight. So I'll see you at the wedding? Dwight: You know it. Isabel: K. [they kiss] Dwight: Okay, get out of here. Isabel: Bye. Dwight: Okay. Michael: [passes Isabel] Hey, good morning. [to Dwight] It's about damn time. I haven't gone to the bathroom in a day and a half. [walks into hotel room] Oh my God, Dwight. This room is a pit. Dwight: [lays on bed] Really? I hadn't noticed. Too busy knocking boots. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [watching Dwight eat breakfast] How can you eat like that? Dwight: I'm ravenous after a night of love making. You? Michael: Yeah, I'm hungry, but I'm not going to make a pig out of myself. Dwight: Hey, what was she like? Michael: She was cute. You know? She was hot. She was very hot. She made love like a tiger. Dwight: Brides side or grooms side? Or townie? Michael: She was from Europe. Dwight: No kidding. Michael: Uh-huh. Dwight: I bet she had hairy armpits. Michael: No. Dwight: Isabel was nice, but I hope she doesn't think this is going anywhere. Michael: Wait a second. You're not into her? Are you kidding me? Dwight: No. Michael: She's Pam's best friend. You guys could double date. Swap maybe? Dwight: Oh please. Put a gun in my mouth. Michael: No... you're crazy. Dwight: Look. She's a dental hygienist from Carbondale and she makes love like one. She's a bumpkin. Pass. Michael: She's-- okay. Do you know how hard it is to be a hygienist? You have to take x-rays. You have to scrape the plaque off of people's teeth. You have to tell kids when to spit and make sure they're not scared when the dentist comes in. It-- it-- Dwight: You should ask her out. Michael: [stands up and walks away] I already have my European girlfriend. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: If your hat hits me in the face one more time-- Phyllis: That's funny. Your wife loved this hat the last time she saw it. [glares at Stanley's date] [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: [sees Kevin's toupee] Oh my God. Oscar: Oh... Kevin: Oscar. Angela. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Are you in a lot of pain? Andy: Oh cause of last night? No way. Reports have been exaggerated. Weddings make me very emotional. I um--I just have that side to me. Erin: People say you cry all the time. Andy: Well that's not-- Meredith: Crotch injuries are the worst. You don't need to tell me. Andy: I wasn't telling you. Meredith: Is there still something there? Andy: Excuse me? Meredith: It didn't get torn off? Andy: No, it didn't--nothing got torn off. Who told you that? [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: I may have told some people that. I'm nervous. I'm about to get married. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: If you want to sit on this-- [hands Andy her wrap] I was thinking the wood might be too hard on your damaged pen1s. Make it softer. Andy: It was my scrotum. Um, and it was. Thank you. Michael: Oh, here we go. They asked for cash, but you know... I give them cash every week, so-- how much cash does a person need? I have taken it upon myself to do something a little more special. I have painted a portrait of the two of them from memory. [holds up painting] And I have another one of them in the nude. But that one is for me. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I got them a set of turtle boiling pots, a shell hammer and bibs. [SCENE_BREAK] Penny: Is it zipping over your belly? Don't squish the baby. Pam: Thank you weirdo. Pam's mom: everybody see Kristie's stupid blonde extensions? It's like they were made from a plastic broom. Pam: Okay, here I come. [walks out in her wedding dress] Pam's mom: Oh darling! You look beautiful. Pam: Thanks mom. Pam's mom: Oh, I hope he deserves you. Pam: He does. Pam's mom: Are you sure? Remember you don't have to do this. You don't. Penny: Mom, you're totally projecting. You're being a drag. Pam: Yes. Thank you, mom. Isabel: Hey, I'm going to go outside and talk to Dwight. Pam: Okay great. [Isabel kisses her cheek] Yeah, I'll see you in a second. [pauses] Wait, what? [tries to follow, but veil gets caught on wall and tears] Oh! Oh no! [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [answers cell phone] Hey! Pam: Can you come here please? Jim: Is this allowed? Pam: No. No, but I'm allowing it. Just come here. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [talking to a woman] That was an intelligent comment. Isabel: Hello stranger. How do I look? Dwight: Oh. Fine. Isabel, [holds out hand] nice to see you. What do you want? Isabel: Um... [shakes head] nothing. Anymore. Dwight: [turns back to other woman] So, uh tell me again the difference between Filene's and Filene's basement. Michael: [to Isabel] Hey, hey... He's not sitting with me either. Where are you sitting? You need a seat buddy? Isabel: I'm standing. I'm a bridesmaid. Michael: Oh, I wish I was a bridesmaid. Where am I gonna go? [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Hey. Jim: Wow. You look-- Pam: Terrible. Jim: So beautiful. [Pam's starts to cry. Jim pulls up chair to sit next to her] Hey-- Pam: My veil tore. I knew when we were getting married and I'm five months pregnant that I'm not going to be able to wear the dress that I always wanted or high heels-- Jim: [takes her hand] Hey. You look just as I imagined you would. Pam, you're so pretty. Pam: [sighs] Thank you. Jim: And who cares? It's a stupid veil, right? Pam: No, this was the one thing I was supposed to be able to control, was this veil and-- [Jim cuts off half his tie] Jim: There. Now we're even. [Pam laughs and mimes taking a picture, they kiss] Pam: [sighs] Everyone's driving me crazy. I know way too much about Andy's scrotum. [Jim chuckles] And my mom won't stop freaking out about my dad's new girlfriend. [sighs] This is supposed to be our wedding day. Why did we invite all these people? [SCENE_BREAK] Phyllis: I think Pam ran away because she knew deep down she wouldn't be a good wife. Angela: Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: [to Kevin who is bouncing up and down] What are you doing? Kevin: I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee. Oscar: How long do you take to pee? Kevin: The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [to Pam's mom] Hey. Hi. Do you--would you have a snack in your purse? You're a mom. I just figured you might have-- Pam's mom: Oh, yeah--[hands Michael a snack] Michael: Oh! Eww... apricot. Do you have any of the Very Berry or Ocean Splash or-- Pam's mom: No. Michael: Oh... okay. Were you saving it? Pam's mom: Oh, no, no, no. That's okay. I was just--I've had a very rough weekend. Michael: I'm sorry. [puts food in his mouth] Ugh. Apricot. Made of real apes. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Do you think they canceled the wedding? Angela: Relax. You'll get your shot at Jim. Those two treat the whole office like a 1970's key party. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: my weekend was bad so far. Pam's mom: Oh-- Michael: I came here hoping to meet somebody. You know, as you do at weddings. End up going to sleep by the vending machine. It was loud, but it was warm. Pam's mom: Oh that sounds awful. Michael: And... and the love of my life is dating somebody else. Pam's mom: Oh-- Michael: It is a terrible year for love. Pam's mom: Yeah. Guess it is. Michael: I'm thinking about having my sperm frozen. Tom Halpert: Excuse me, are you Michael Scott? Michel: Um, yeah. Tom: Heard you might have a whoopee cushion on you. Pete Halpert: Sisters in the can and we totally want to get her when she comes back. Michael: Oh, wow. That sounds hilarious. I do actually. [pulls whoopee cushion out of pocket and hands it to them] There you go. Use it in good health. Tom and Pete: [laughing] Yes! [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. What is the etiquette on taking the gifts? Can you only take your own back or is it a whatever you can carry type of thing? Stanley: Anyone have anything they want to trade for a toaster? Kevin: Oh, oh, does it have slots for hot dogs? Stanley: No. Kevin: Who would want it? Oscar: Guys, maybe we should wait a little more time before we start grabbing boxes. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Toby. Toby: What? Dwight: I'd like to lodge a formal complaint against Jim for making us wait for over an hour. Toby: [sighs] Dwight: [looks over and sees hole in his present] Crap. [sees turtle on the ground, goes over and picks it up] Come here you. Toby: Well I guess this weddings not going to happen. I wonder if this is it for them. [Jim and Pam walk in laughing] [SCENE_BREAK] Pam's dad: Hey. What happened? Ryan: Where were you guys? Do you know how long I've been waiting here? Jim: Well we are here now, so let's just-- Michael: [walks up] Yes! Yes! I have so much joy... in my heart... right now. How do I look? Jim: You look great. Pam: You look great. [SCENE_BREAK] Tom: [looks at Jim's cut tie] Wear a tie much? [SCENE_BREAK] Penny: [music starts playing and people start dancing down the isle] I begged them not to. Pam: Mm-hmm. Penny: I know you specifically put this song on your Do Not Play list. Pam: Yes I did. Penny: I'm sorry. Pam: [smiles] Go ahead. I think it's your turn. Penny: Wait, what happened? You're okay with this? Pam: Yeah, I'm okay. Penny: Okay then! [takes flower girl to dance down the isle] Michael: Hey Pam, did you see this? It was on You Tube. Pam: Saw it. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: I bought those boat tickets the day I saw that You Tube video. I knew we'd need a back-up plan. The boat was actually Plan C. The church was Plan B and Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: What an awesome party. The best wedding I've ever been too. I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete telephone number. This was epic. My Kleenex shoes were a huge conversation piece, but man my dogs are barking. [sticks his feet into the hotel ice machine] Whoo. My feet were so sweaty I can't even feel the cold. What a lovely hotel.	Plan: A: The Office; Q: What show travels to Niagara Falls to celebrate Jim and Pam's wedding? A: Michael; Q: Who fails to reserve a room at the wedding? A: the whole office; Q: Who does Michael give Friday and Monday off to attend the wedding? A: Pam's meemaw; Q: Who is upset when Jim accidentally reveals Pam's pregnancy during his speech? A: a speech; Q: What does Michael try to give at the rehearsal dinner? A: Dwight; Q: Who succeeds with Isabel? A: guests; Q: Who do Michael and Dwight try to hook up with at the wedding? A: Pam's bridesmaid Isabel; Q: Who does Dwight hook up with at the wedding? A: an ice machine; Q: What does Michael end up sleeping next to? A: Andy; Q: Who injures his scrotum while dancing the night before the wedding? A: The night; Q: What night before the wedding is a surprise for Pam? A: their nerves; Q: What do Jim and Pam delay the wedding to calm? A: their wedding; Q: What do Jim and Pam delay to enjoy? A: the evening; Q: When does Michael spend with Helene after the wedding? A: Helene; Q: Who is Pam's mother? Summary: The Office travels to Niagara Falls to celebrate Jim and Pam's wedding. Michael gives the whole office Friday and Monday to attend the wedding in Niagara. Jim accidentally reveals Pam's pregnancy during his speech, getting Pam's meemaw upset. Michael worsens the situation by trying to give a speech at the rehearsal dinner. Michael and Dwight try to hook up with guests at the wedding. Dwight succeeds with Pam's bridesmaid Isabel, but Michael, who failed to reserve a room, ends up sleeping next to an ice machine. Andy injures his scrotum while dancing the night before the wedding. The night before the wedding proves to be a surprise for Pam. Jim and Pam delay the wedding when they sneak off to marry on the Maid of the Mist , allowing them to calm their nerves and enjoy their wedding. Michael spends the evening after the wedding with Pam's mother, Helene.
2009: IN. TED'S CLASSROOM Ted (2030): Kids, on my first day as a college professor, there were two things I didn't know that I wish did. The first thing was that your mother was in that classroom. A blond girl in the classroom raises her hand and Ted looks at her. Ted (2030): The second thing? Well, to explain that we have to go back to the beginning of the summer. FLASHBACK WITH IMAGES OF ROBIN AND BARNEY Ted (2030): When, after a year of wrestling with their feelings for each other, Barney and Robin finally, well... Image of their kiss. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. MC LAREN'S Lily: Whoo!!! Robin: Lily! All we need is your indoor "whoo." Lily: Sorry. (slower) Whoo! It's just they kissed! They're finally a couple. Oh, my God, you guys! This is our first double date! First of millions! What if our kids get married?! Oh I love this! Barney: Yeah, Lily, listen. Robin: Barney's awesome. Barney: Robin's more than just awe-"some." She's awe-"quite a bit." She's awe-"a whole darn lot." Lily: Wait, what are you saying? Robin: We're just not feeling it right now. But we'll totally still be friends. Barney: Oh yeah. Lily: Is it something I did? Robin: Oh no, no, no. God, no. Lily, it's not you. It's us. Barney: Yeah, It's us. You understand, right? Lily: Sure, of course. As long as you're happy, I'm happy. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. LILY AND MASHALL'S ROOM Lily is crying and eating ice-cream. Lily: We were gonna take cooking lessons together and we were gonna go on camping trips together and then we were gonna sit around telling funny stories about our cooking lessons and our camping trips. Marshall: (trying to console her) I know. I Know. So... has the boat sailed on sx tonight or... [SCENE_BREAK] Ted (2030): After that, the summer went by way too fast. Until all of a sudden, it was the Friday before my first day as a college professor. IN. MC LAREN'S BAR Marshall offers a big present to Ted. Ted: Wow! What's this? Marshall: It's just a little something that we got for you that used to belong to my favourite professor of all time. Ted opens the box. Ted: A fedora! (he puts it on his head and pulls out a whip) I'm Indiana Jones! I'm Indiana Jones!! Barney: That, my friend, is the Dominator 8000, the best bullwhip on the market, according to my whip guy. Yeah, I have a whip guy. Ted: You know what we should do? We should... Marshall: Finish our drinks, go out in the alley, and whip stuff. Ted: God... you just get me. Robin: OK, I should get going. I got a date. Barney: You're still seeing that guy? Robin: Even better, seeing him naked. Robin and Barney: (striking their fist) What! Barney: I should go, too. I hooked up with this Chinese girl last night and I don't know, it's weird. I already feel like seconds. They strike their fist and leave the bar together. [SCENE_BREAK] OUT. STREET BEHIND THE BAR Marshall: OK Ted, You got first whip! Ted: All right. (imitating Clint Eastwood) Hey, dummy (to a mannequin). What did tell you about smoking in here? Marshall: Make him whip the habit! I'so excited about this whip! I got whip fever! Just whip him, Ted! Don't even aim! Just whip him! [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED ANDMARSHALL'S HALL Marshall's cheek is red. Ted: I'm so sorry. Marshall: It's just the whip's not a toy. There's such a thing as common sense, you know. Ted: You can whip me if you want. Marshall: I will, some other time. They open the door of the apartment and come in. They see Robin and Barney kissing in the sofa. Lily: Whoo!!!!!! *GENERIC [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED AND ROBIN'S APPARTMENT Lily: So, how long has this been going on? Barney: All summer. Lily: I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! You guys are boyfriend and girlfriend. Barney and Robin: Wow, wow... Barney: Girlfriend? Robin: Slow your roll there, Lilypad. Barney: Yeah, yeah. Lily: You've been together all summer. I don't get it. Robin: Ok, It's like this. After we kissed, we sat down to have the talk. FLASHBACK** Robin: We should figure out what this is. Barney: Yes, we should. Or. Or... They kiss again. And after having sx: Robin: Okay, now, we have to figure this out. Barney: Yes, we do. Or. Or... They kiss again. END OF FLASHBACK* Robin: We kept trying to have the talk and then we realized we hate the talk. Barney: Yeah, the talk sucks. You have to, like, talk. And be all, "I don't know. It's not that I don't like you. It's just that I haven't had a girlfriend in a really long time. I hope it doesn't make you mad." Who needs it? Lily: You needs it. Guys, you can't just keep hooking up and not at least try and figure out what you mean to each other. Robin: Yeah, we knew you would say that. That's why we kept it a secret. Barney: Well, that and the fact that elaborate lies really turn us on. Lily: No, no, no (trying to hold Barney who tries to kiss Robin). You need to define the relationship. You ne to have the talk. Barney: Or. Or... And he kisses Robin. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED'S CLASSROOM Ted: I know what you're all thinking. Who's this cool peer of mine up in front the class?" I know the board says "Professor Mosby," but to you I'm Ted. The blond girl raises her hand. Ted: Question. Awesome. Hit it. Blond Girl: Yeah, here's my question, "Ted," who the hell do you think you are? A boy: Yeah Ted, we're supposed to learn from you? You failed as an architect. Another boy: And if you're a professor, where's your hat and your whip? Ted: They're at home. I... Another girl: And where are your pants? Ted has no pants. Everybody in the class laughs. Ted wakes, he's in his bed. IN. TED'S ROOM Ted: Oh, God. Barney is in the room, looking for a condom. Ted: Barney, it was awful. I was teaching... Barney: Ted, now's not a good time. Where do you keep your condoms? [SCENE_BREAK] IN. MC LAREN'S Ted: I am freaking out. I don't think I can do this. Barney: Okay, look, mistake number 1 was taking that girl's question. You don't take questions on the first day. It shows weakness. Mistake number 2 was you should've hit that. Dude, your pants were already off, you had a classroom full of people to cheer you on, and you can't knock her up 'cause it's a dream. Class dismissed. Marshall: Mistake number 3, dude, where was the hat? Cause if you're not going to wear it, I'm taking it back. Lily: I think what Barney's saying is that definitions are important. You're their teacher, not their friend. Barney: Exactly. Lily: If people don't know their place, nobody's happy. Barney: Amen. Lily: You have to make things clear. Barney: Run tell that. Lily: Define the relationship. Barney: Yes! No! Lily, private convo time. They go a little further. Barney: Lily, can't you just let us be happy? Lily: You're not happy. You just think you're happy because you feel happy. Barney: And that's not happy? Lily: Of course not. You and Robin need to have the talk. Barney: Why? Give me one good reason. Lily: I'll give you 20... Barney: Waow, You can't even think of one. Headlights. Dear. Lily, for the last time, things with me and Robin are as good as they can possibly be. Oh, hey, look, Brad's here. Brad: (to Robin) I've got two tickets to the Rangers/Canucks game tomorrow night. I know you're a hockey fan, so I was thinking... Robin: Euh, oh, hum, heu... Brad: What do I have to do? Put a gun to your head? Buy you a six pack? He lifts his T-shirt. Robin: Come on, Brad, that's... Wow, There's really six of them. But, I can't. Brad: Why not? You have a boyfriend? Robin: No. No, no boyfriend. Brad: Great! It's a date. He turns to leave. Brad: Hey Barn! Barney: Hey Brad. Lily: I just thought of a reason. [SCENE_BREAK] Ted (2030): The next night, Robin and Brad went to a hockey game. OUT. HOCKEY GAME Robin: You're probably wondering why I've been quiet all night. LILLTE FLASHBACK Robin: Damn it, Hordichuk! You miss another gimme like that, I'm gonna come down there and put a slapper right up your beerhole! Come on! END OF FLASHBACK Brad: Not really. Robin: The truth is, I feel kind of weird being out with you. Brad: Oh, man. Is this the talk? Robin: What? Brad: No, this is good. Let's get it all out of the way. Robin, I'm looking for something serious. Robin: No, Brad, no, it's... Brad: But before we go any further, you should know something about my stuff below the belt. I was born a little different. Robin: God, no... Brad, no... This is about me and Barney. Brad: You and Barn... oh, so you guys are... Robin: Well, we don't know what we are. I mean, my heart says "leap into it." My brain says "it's a bad idea." Brad: Sounds like you guys need to have the talk. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED'S APPARTMENT Barney: We're not gonna have the talk. Marshall: Would you just have the talk, okay? It's a five-minute conversation, and then you get to have sx afterwards. It's great! Back me up, Ted. Ted: I don't think the talk is necessary. Marshall: What?! Barney: Thank you, Ted. Ted: Because Robin is already his girlfriend. Barney: What?! Ted: MacLaren's Bar, four years ago... * FLASHBACK MC LAREN'S BAR, 4 YEARS AGO Barney: How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend? Simple, the rules for girls are the same as the rules for gremlins. Ted: "Gremlins"? Barney: Gremlins. Rule number 1. Never get them wet. In otherords, don't let her take a shower at your place. Number 2. Keep them away from sunlight. I.E. Don't ever see them during the day. And rule number 3, never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast with her ever. Ted: What about brunch? Is brunch cool? Barney: No, Ted. Brunch is not cool. Ted: OK, new topic. How do I pick a tie? Barney: Simple. Remember in the movie Predator... END OF FLASHBACK** Barney: I've done all three of those things with Robin. Is she my girlfriend? Marshall: Just once, I wish you guys would call me on Tuxedo Night. [SCENE_BREAK] OUT. HOCKEY GAME Voice: Ladies and gentlemen, time to pucker up for the New York Rangers Kiss Cam! Robin and Brad are chosen by in the video cam. Brad: Okay, how about this. If you kiss me, and you feel bad about it, you're meant to be with Barney. Robin: Why not? Lay it on me. They are about to kiss but Barney arrives and separates them. Barney: Hey Brad! He hits him but he hurts himself. Barney: Brad, we can't fight like this all night! We both got some good shots in. Let's call a truce! Brad: It's okay, dude. I shouldn't go kissing some other guy's girlfriend. Barney: Wow, wow, wow, Girlfriend? Hey, come on. Robin: That's putting it a bit strongly. Barney: A bit strongly. She's not my girlfriend. Robin: A gifriend's a bit much, Brad, okay? [SCENE_BREAK] IN. MC LAREN'S Lily: Okay, seriously. We're at the point of physical violence. Now, will you please have the talk? Barney: Because of that? Come on. That's my thing. I'm always punching guys. Girls... I'll punch a baby. I don't care. [SCENE_BREAK] Ted (2030 ): Finally, my first class had arrived. For real this time. I knew I had to make a strong impression. I had thought of everything. Except... IN. TED'S CLASSROOM Ted is writing his name on the blackboard. Ted: (for himself) Wait. Does professor have one "F" or two? Oh, my God... Oh, my God! Professor. Pro-fess-or. They're all staring at me. I don't know. Just do something! Two "F's". That looks right. I think that's right. He turns to see the students' reaction. A girl moves her head to say "no". So Ted transforms the F into E. Then he turns to see the girl, who says yes with her head. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. ROBIN'S ROOM Barney: Hey, sorry I went little too far last night. Robin: We've been over this. Unless I say "flugelhorn" you haven't gone too far. Barney: No, I meant punching Brad. Robin: Right. Look, don't even worry about it. It's... She tries to open the door but it's locked. Robin: God. The doorknob's broken off. We're locked in here. Did, did you do this? Barney: No. Robin: Flugelhorn. Did you do this? Robin: (knocking at the door) Ted, are you out there? Lily: (sitting behind the door) Ted's not here, Robin. Robin: Lily, let us out of here. Lily: I'd be glad to. Just as soon as you and Barney have the talk. Robin: Lily! Come on. Let us out! Lily: No. Sit down, define the relationship, write down that definition on a piece of paper, slip it under the door, and if I like what I read, you can go. Barney: We are not having the talk! Lily: Then you'll die in there. Robin: You're gonna lock us in here? Well, guess what? Maybe we'll spend the whole day having sx! Lily: Well, guess what? I broughtMarshall with me, so maybe we'll do the same. Marshall: Hey, guys. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED'S CLASROOM Ted (2030): I still hadn't decided what kind of professor I wanted to be...authoritative or cool guy. I thought I would decide in the moment. And I did. About 20 times. Ted: Good morning. 'Sup, dudes? Silence! This is Architecture 101. I am Professor Mosby. But you can call me Ted. Professor Mosby. T-Dawg. Do not call me T-Dawg. The same blond girl raises her hand. Barney appears as an angel. Barney: Never take questions on the first day. It shows weakness. Also, don't look right here (showing girl's boobs). Okay, good luck. Byesies. And he disappears. Ted (2030): This was it, my crossroads moment. What kind of professor was I gonna be. I had to decide. Ted: Please save all your questions until the end of the lecture. Thank you! Now... Ted (2030): Professor Mosby had arrived. Of course, if I had taken that girl's question... who, by the way, was not your mom. Your mom was sitting... Wait, let me finish this real quick. Here's what that girl would have said. Blond girl: I'm sorry to bother you, Professor Mosby, but this isn't Architecture 101. This is Economics 305. You're in the wrong classroom. Ted (2030): Yes, I was in the wrong classroom. And thus began the most humiliating seven minutes of my life. Ted: Here's your think-about-it for the day. Every single person in this room... is already an architect. A girl: Architect? [SCENE_BREAK] IN. ROBIN'S APPARTMENT Robin and Barney are always looked in the room, while Lily and Marshall wait behind the door. Robin slips a note under the door. Marshall: (reading): We're just hanging out." Lily: Just hanging out? Not good enough. Marshall: (whipping with the whip) Not good enough! [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED'S CLASSROOM Ted: Can anyone here tell me what this class is really all about? A boy: Economics? Everybody laughs. Ted: Don't laugh. He's not... He's not entirely wrong. An architect must be economical in his use of space, so... well done. Looks like someone's building towards an A. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. ROBIN'S APPARTMENT Marshall: (reading the new note slipped by Robin) "We're seeing where things are going." Lily: I'll tell you where things aren't doing... out of that bedroom. Not good enough. Marshall: (whipping) Not good enough! [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED'S CLASSROOM Ted: (to a student) You... Why do you want to be an architect? Student: I don't want to be an architect. Ted: Yes, exactly. It's not something you want to be. It's something you need to be. You don't have a choice, right? None of you has a choice. Everybody raise their hand. Ted: No questions! [SCENE_BREAK] ROBIN'S APPARTMENT Marshall: (reading the new note) "We're Barnman and Robin." (he laughs) Come on, you got to admit, that's kind of fun, Lily. Lily: Not... good enough. Marshall: (whipping) Not good enough! [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED'S CLASSROOM Ted: So if any of you have even the slightest inclination to do anything with your life other than become an architect, you're wasting my time and yours. There's the door... You can go. I'm serious. Get out, now. They are all about to leave. Ted: Wait... Don't... all leave! Architecture's fun! Look! I brought a hacky sack! Other professor: (coming into the classroom) Sorry I'm late, everyone. My name is Professor Calzonetti. This is Economics 305. You may return to your seats. Ted: Sorry, sir. This is... Architecture 101. Who invited their dad, right? Professor: Young man, for the last 28 years, Economics 305 has been taught right here in building 14, room 7. Ted: Euh, yeah, but, I'm sure 200 architecture students and their professor all got the room wrong. Student: T-Dawg, you're in the wrong room, bro. Everybody laugh. Ted runs to the right classroom. Ted: Kids, out of my way! Sorry. Coming through. Excuse me. Coming through. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. ROBIN AND TED'S APPARTMENT Ted is back, he has told Lily and Marshall about his first day. Lily: 20 minutes late on your first day? That's rough. Ted: Yeah, but here's the funny thing. By that point, I didn't have time to think about what kind of teacher I was going to be. I just got up there and talked about architecture. And it was kind of great. Lily: That's awesome, Ted. Marshall: Congratulations, buddy. Ted: Thanks. Robin: (from her room) Nice job, Ted. Barney: (from Robin's room) Hey, Ted, door five! Were you there? Ted: (to Barney) Yeah, I got you, buddy. (to Marshall and Lily) They still haven't had the talk? Marshall: I think I know how to speed things up A few minutes later. Robin: Not cool! Marshall is using a ventilator to bring smells in their room. Marshall: Pancakes, fresh bacon. It is so yummy. Robin: (to Barney) Dude, I'm starving. Let's... Let's just have the stupid talk. Come on. Barney: Fine. But how do these things even work? What do we say? Lily slips a note under the door. Robin: (reading) Where do you see this relationship going? My God, that sounds so cheesy. Barney: I know, right? Robin: Totally. But hum... Where do you see this relationship going? Barney: I don't know. I mean, it's not like I don't like you. I just haven't had a girlfriend for a long time. I hope that doesn't make you mad. Robin: Mad? I feel the same way. I suck at relationships. I mean, except with Ted. He really got it right. I know it's a cliché, but... he really ruined me for other men. Ted (2030): Of course, I wasn't in the room for this conversation, but I have to imagine Robin said something like that. Barney: Maybe we should go back to being just friends. Robin: Maybe. But hum... I don't want to stop having sx. Barney: Good. Me, neither. Robin: Friends isn't gonna work. Barney: We're not good at being friends. We're not good at being in a relationship. What are we good at? Robin: I know something we're good at. Barney: I don't know. If we're gonna do it again, I'm gonna need some Gatorade... Robin: No,not that. Lying. Think about it. We spent the whole summer lying about being just friends. Why not just keep lying? They slip a note under the door. Lily takes it and read. Lily: Really? Robin: Really. We sat down. We had the talk. Barney's my boyfriend now. Barney: And Robin's my girlfriend. I know it sounds nuts, but it feels good to say. Robin: We're both afraid of commitment but... the fact is, we also can't live without each other. Barney: And if the alternative is not being together, then it's worth taking this risk 'cause... she's awesome. Robin: And he's awesome. He looks nice in a suit. Barney: She can handle her Scotch. Robin: He's my boyfriend. Barney: And she's my girlfriend. Lily unlocks the door and hugs them. Marshall: (whipping) Good enough! [SCENE_BREAK] OUT. STREET Robin: (leaving the building) She bought it. Barney: Hook, line, and sinker. We are good. Robin: Totally. So, you want to get some breakfast? Barney: You know, brunch actually does sound kind of good. Robin: Well, lead the way, sweetie pie. Barney: Flugelhorn? Robin: Yeah, that felt wrong. Lily, Marshall and Robin watch them going away holding hands. Ted: You do realize they were lying, right? Lily: No, Ted, they don't realize they weren't lying. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. MC LAREN's Marshall is coming, wearing a suit. Marshall: Hello. Hello. Good evening. Hello. Don't get up. Didn't we meet on a yacht? Hello. He sits next to Barney and Ted. Marshall: What? Did I not tell you guys that it was Tuxedo Night? Doesn't feel very good, does it?	Plan: A: the gang; Q: Who finds out that Barney and Robin are hesitant to define their relationship? A: Robin; Q: Who is Barney's hesitant girlfriend? A: Lily; Q: Who forces Barney and Robin to face their biggest fear? A: Columbia; Q: Where is Ted nervous about teaching his first lecture? Summary: When the gang finds out that Barney and Robin are hesitant to define their relationship, Lily forces them to confront their biggest fear...becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. Meanwhile, Ted is anxious about teaching his first lecture at Columbia.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Peter: Why're you looking at me like this is my fault? You're seeing things, aren't you? Scott: How'd you know? Lydia: Because it's happening to all three of you. (GASPS) Wake up! Sheriff: Eight years ago, almost an entire family died in a car accident. A young girl named Malia was never found. Two bodies that were still in the car were covered in bites and slashes. Scott: Malia? Severo: You see this equipment? Very old. The settings are not quite accurate anymore. So it's hard to tell just how far to turn the dial. I think it's a little high. (SCREAMS) Severo: I've seen some crack their teeth. Others, they just shake and shake even after their heart stops. Sometimes we don't even know they're dead. (BOTH GROANING) (LAUGHS) Severo: But nobody wants to play a guessing game. So, why don't you just tell us? Where is la loba? Derek: We don't know where la loba is. Derek: No? Maybe you need a different method of persuasion? Maybe we cut one of you in half, the other talks? Peter: I would love to be there for volunteer, but we really don't know what you're talking about. And honestly, isn't bisecting people with a broad sword a little medieval? (CHUCKLES) Severp: Broad sword? We're not savages. (CHAINSAW WHIRRING) Severo: We all wonder how far your little healing trick goes. What do you think? Can you grow back an arm? We're pretty sure you can't grow back your head. Araya: Boys. (SPEAKING SPANISH) (WHIRRING STOPS) Derek: No hablo espanol. Araya: Tu hablas muchos idiomas, Derek Hale. You know exactly what I'm saying. And you know who we want. Where is the She-Wolf? Derek: We don't know any She-Wolf. Araya: I know you won't talk, lobito. This one will talk. This one loves the sound of his own voice. Peter: You should hear me sing. Severo: We want to hear you scream. Peter: No one ever wants to hear me sing. Araya: What could we do to persuade you, hmm? Where is the She-Wolf? (SCREAMING- SHE CUTS OFF A FINGER) Araya: Think about it. I'm only going to ask you nine more times. (BOTH SCREAMING) Oh. (PANTING) Stiles: I think I found something. Scott: So did I. Stiles: It's a coyote den. Scott: Werecoyote. Stiles: You see this? This is Malia's. Remember, it's the same one she was wearing in the photo. Scott: We shouldn't be in here. Stiles: What do you mean? Scott: She's not going to come back now. We just invaded her home. Our scent's going to be everywhere. Stiles: If she's not going to come back here, where's she going to go? Scott: I don't know. Stiles: Can you track her now? You think you got her scent? Scott: Maybe. But I'm better at this when I'm a full wolf. And I'm still worried that if I do it, I won't be able to turn back. (SIGHS) Stiles: The door's still open. Scott: If I can't get to Derek, we're gonna have to find someone else to help. This is basically a crime scene, right? I think it might be a little out of my boss's league. Stiles: And more in my dad's. (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION OVER RADIO) Sheriff: You're sure it was her? Scott: I looked her right in the eyes. And they glowed just like mine. Stiles: It makes sense, Dad. Sheriff: But it wasn't a girl. It was a four-legged coyote, right? Stiles: Well, okay. But yeah, see, that's the point that we don't exactly have figured out yet. Scott: Okay, but if it was a full moon and she did change while her mom was driving, then anything could've happened. Stiles: Horrible things could've happened. Ripping, shredding, tearing things. Scott: Which is probably what caused the accident. Stiles: Think about it, Dad, all right. They're driving, Malia starts to change, she goes out of control, the mom crashes and everybody dies Scott: Except for Malia. Stiles: She blames herself, all right, goes off running into the woods and eventually becomes trapped inside the body of a coyote. Sheriff: That makes sense. (SIGHS) Sheriff: In a Chinese folktale. Boys, this is this is insane. I need this kept quiet. The two of you, not a word. I don't want anyone hearing about this. I especially don't want Mr. Tate hearing about this. Scott? Scott! Scott: Sorry. What did you say? Sheriff: Oh, hell. Mr. Tate. Agent Mccall: Mr. Tate? Mr Tate: It's hers. Agent Mccall: All right, wait here. Scott: Dad. Agent Mccall: I'll talk to you in a minute. I wouldn't mind hearing how your mom's okay with you running around in the woods this late. Sheriff: What the hell are you doing bringing him here? Agent Mccall: I'm getting confirmation on a more than significant lead. And starting to understand why your department can't close cases. Sheriff: There's no body. There's no remains to identify. Agent Mccall: Well, not yet, Sheriff. But do a little digging and I'm sure you'll uncover something. Like the bones of a 9-year-old girl. Sheriff: I think you're going to find it's just a little bit more complicated than that, Special Agent. Agent Mccall: Come on, Stilinski, you know how this goes. It's the not knowing that ruins people like Tate. The truth, no matter how profoundly it sucks the truth is always better than not knowing. (SNARLING) Stiles: Here's where we found the den. It's right in the middle of the hiking trails. Allison: Well, that could narrow it down. Coyotes travel in fixed trails. But I think you're right about her not going back to the den. Coyotes don't like wolves. And they're really smart. If they don't want to be heard, they actually walk on their toes. Stiles: Coyotes tip-toe? Allison: They tip-toe. (MOUTHING) (BELL RINGING) Allison: I got to go, but send me the pinned location. Stiles: Okay. Kira: Hey. I'm Kira. You knew that. I knew you knew that. I don't know why I just told you that again. Anyway, I have something for you. Scott: For me? Kira: Yeah. About the bardo. My explanation was sort of all over the place, so I did some research and I printed it out for you. (CHUCKLES) Scott: Ah, you didn't have to do that. Kira: It only took a couple of hours. Scott: Wow. Then you really didn't have to do that. Kira: I swear I printed it out. Mr Yukimura: Kira. You forgot all the research you did for that boy you like. All right, everyone. Let's get started. We were just talking about internment camps and prisoners of war. There's a passage in our reading that I'd like to go over in more detail Who would like to come up and read aloud for us? Mr. Stilinski, how about you? Stiles: Oh, maybe someone else could. Mr Yukimura: Everyone participates in my class, Mr. Stilinski. Stiles: Okay. (WHISPERING) Stiles: Okay, okay. Come on, come on. Scott: Stiles? You okay? (BREATHING HEAVILY) Scott: I should take him to the nurse's office. Stiles, look at me, man. Is this a panic attack? Stiles: It's a dream, it's a dream. This is just a dream. Scott: No, it's not. This is real. You're here. You're here with me. Okay, what do you do? I mean, like, how do you tell if you're awake or dreaming? Stiles: Your fingers you count your fingers. You have extra fingers in dreams. Scott: How many do I have? Hey! Look at me. Come on, Stiles. Look at my hands and count with me. Stiles: One Two. Scott: Keep going. Stiles: Three. Four. Scott: Five. Stiles: Six. Seven. Scott: Eight. Stiles: Nine. Ten. Scott: Ten. Ten. (PANTING) Stiles: What the hell is happening to me? Scott: We'll figure it out. You're going to be okay. Stiles: Am I? Are you? Scott, you can't transform. Allison's being haunted by her dead aunt. And I'm straight up losing my mind. We can't do this. We can't we can't help Malia. We can't help anyone. Scott: We can try. We can always try. (BELL RINGING) Mr Yokumura: Do not forget the chapters on President Carter and the Commission on Wartime Relocation. (SNARLING) Kira: Oh, my God. (GROWLING) (PANTING) (COYOTE GROWLING) (GASPING) (COYOTE GROWLS) Peter: I don't want to make it sound like we don't appreciate your hospitality but do you think it would be possible to put that on ice? Maybe something for my hand? Extra-large Band-Aid? Perhaps some antibiotic ointment? (FOOTSTEPS) (SIGHS) (GUN FIRING) (THUD) Severo: No. (GRUNTING) (PANTING) Derek: You're the one who saved Isaac. Braeden: I'm the one who was hired to save Isaac. Peter: Someone hired you to get us out of here? Braeden: Someone hired me to get Derek out of here. You, I'm totally fine leaving for dead. Peter: When did I get this reputation? Derek: Who hired you? Braeden: Deucalion. Peter: Deucalion? The guy who did that to you? Braeden: A girl's gotta eat. All right, let's get the hell out of here. Derek: We're not leaving without it. Braeden: Without what? [SCENE_BREAK] Sheriff: A couple of students said they saw it running across the field and back into the woods. Thank God, nobody got hurt. Stiles: What happens if she does hurt someone? (SIGHS) Sheriff: Most likely they'll have to put it down. Stiles: Put her down? Dad, try not to forget there's a girl in there, one that you'll be killing. Come on, you aren't back to not believing, are you? Sheriff: I believe there are a lot of things I don't understand yet. But that doesn't mean that everything and anything imaginable is suddenly possible. Now, are you 100% sure that this is a girl and not an animal? Stiles: Yes. Because Scott's sure. Scott, you been listening? Stiles: All right, let's get this figured out. Come on. Kira: Dad, seriously, I'm okay. Mr Yukimura: Why were you not headed to lunch like everyone else? Kira: They left their bags. I was just trying to do something nice. You do something nice and you make friends. Or so I've heard. Stiles: Scott. I think I know what she was looking for. Scott: You took the doll from the car? Stiles: Yeah, I thought you could use it, you know, for like her scent. Mr Tate: Where did you get that? Where did you find this? It belonged to my daughter. (WHISPERS) Sheriff: Sorry. Sheriff: Mr. Tate, I don't know how you heard about this. If you got your own police scanner or what but you can't be here. Mr Tate: I have a permit. Sheriff: California schools are gun free zones, permit or no permit. You need to leave, Mr. Tate. Now. (STUTTERS) Mr Tate: You find that animal. You find that thing. Deaton: Xylazine. It's a tranquilizer for horses. For a werecoyote, expect it to work within seconds. I only have three. So whoever's shooting, needs to be a damn good shot. Scott: Allison's a perfect shot. Isaac: She used to be. Scott: She can do it. Isaac: If we manage to find the thing. Stiles: Okay, what is the point of him? Seriously, I mean, what is his purpose? Aside from the persistent negativity and the scarf? What's up with the scarf anyway? It's 65 degrees out. Isaac: Look, maybe I'm asking a question no one here wants to ask. How do we turn a coyote back into a girl, when she hasn't been a girl for eight years? Scott: I can do it. Stiles: You can? Scott: You remember the night that Peter trapped us in the school? In the gym, he was able to make me turn using just his voice. Deucalion did the same thing in the distillery. Deaton: This is a werecoyote, Scott. Who knows if it'll even work if you can find someone who can teach you. Stiles: That's why you called Derek, first. (SIGHS) Scott: Yeah, I could try it on my own.But right now, I'm too scared to even change into just a werewolf. Stiles: We need a real Alpha. You know what I mean. An Alpha who can do Alpha things. You know, an Alpha who can get it going. You know, get it Isaac: Up? Scott: Great. I'm an Alpha with performance issues. Deaton: Is there anyone else besides Derek who could help? Isaac: I wouldn't trust Peter. Stiles: Maybe the twins? Deaton: They're not Alphas anymore. after what Jennifer did, almost killing them? It broke that part of them. Stiles: Yeah, but what if they know how to do it? Scott: Nobody's seen them for weeks. Stiles: Actually, that's not totally true. Lydia: They said they'd meet us here. (GRUNTING) (GROANS) Scott: I thought you guys were gonna teach me to roar. Aiden: We are. You do it by giving in. Ethan: Giving in and letting go. That's how Deucalion taught us control. (GROANS) Stiles: Hey, you know, that's funny. I've actually tried something like this one time using a heart monitor and lacrosse balls. But you're right, beating the living crap out of him is probably a lot better. Scott: That's actually the plan? You kick my ass? Aiden: You're afraid to turn. Ethan: We're gonna make you. You turn. Then you kick our asses. Aiden: And then you roar. (ROARING) Aiden: You don't think you can let go with us? Ethan: You think you're going to hurt us? Aiden: Come on, McCall. Give it your all. Ethan: We can always heal. (GROANS) Aiden: You're an Alpha. You want to roar like one, you've got to give in full throttle. You've got to be the monster. Become the beast. Ethan: Become everything you're afraid of. That's what gives you power. It gives you strength. (GROANING) Aiden: Giving into it doesn't make you the bad guy. Ethan: So long as you can control it. Aiden: Sometimes control's a little overrated. (GROANS) Stiles: Come on, Scott. Fight back. Scott: What if I can't control it? What if I can't turn back? Ethan: Then it takes over. You become Malia. You get further and further away from being human. You turn into an animal. Or worse. Aiden: You turn into Peter. (GROWLING) (SCREAMING) (GROANING) Aiden: What? I thought we were helping him. Ethan: You help too much. (BREATHING HEAVILY) Allison: Do you think you can hone in on Malia? If not, we're going to be in the woods for a long time. Isaac: I've got a pretty good lock on her scent. It's actually kind of strong. Allison: What is it? Isaac: Pee. You okay? Kate: The ME marked the cause of death as animal attack, but the authorities are waiting for confirmation by autopsy. Personally, I think it might have been something a little Stranger. Ah. Well, there's definitely something wrong with it. (THUD) Kate: The rest of the organs look pretty good, though. (ROARING) Isaac: Allison! Allison: Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. I'm I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was doing. I'm sorry. Isaac: Als, better than ring daggers, I guess. Allison: How am I supposed to help anyone if I'm like this? What am I supposed to do? Isaac: Allison. Let me help you. Show me what to do. (BRAKES SCREECHING) Lydia: Anyone else think we might be doing more harm than good? Scott: We're trying to keep a father from killing his own daughter. Isaac: Actually, we're trying to keep a guy from killing a coyote who is actually his daughter, who we don't know how to change from a coyote back to his daughter. Stiles: And again with the not helping. Scott: Did you bring it? Sheriff: A jogger on her early morning run almost stepped right into this. Now, you want to tell me exactly how many of those you put out there? Mr Tate: Sheriff, hold on Oh, my God. Sheriff: Some kid could get trapped in one of these. Some kid could die in one of these. Mr Tate: My kid died. Mine. Sheriff: You and me. We're going out there right now. And we're going to disarm every single one, I don't care if it takes all night. Mr Tate: It's in the house. Sheriff: Tate! Tate! (GUNSHOT) Stiles: Wait, wait. Wait! Wait! I want the woods cleared of hikers, joggers, anybody else who might be on those trails. (CELLPHONE RINGING) Stiles: It took the doll again? What the hell is so important about this doll? Sheriff: I don't know, but listen to me. There are traps all over those woods. Near the trails. Probably near the car crash. And Tate is out there with a rifle. I want you to stay out of those woods. You got that? Stiles? Stiles: It's the doll. Sheriff: Stiles? Stiles: It's the doll? (GUNSHOT) Stiles: All right, but why would it go all the way to the school and then all the way back to the house just for a doll? One that was in the car wreck in the first place. We didn't find it in the coyote den. Lydia: It likes the doll. Who cares? Stiles: It likes the doll a lot. Lydia: What kind of doll is it? Stiles: I don't know. It's a doll, you know. It's got little arms, a big baby head and dead, soulless eyes. Actually, I took a pic. Here. Lydia: That's Malia? Stiles: Yeah, that's the jacket and the scarf we found in the den. Lydia: Stiles, she's not holding the doll. Stiles: That's Malia's younger sister. It's her doll. Stiles: I know what she's doing. Lydia: What? Stiles: I know where she's going. Allison: Isaac, wait! (SCREAMS) (PANTING) Isaac: Allison, there he is. Hit Tate. Use the tranq on him. Allison: Okay? Okay, come on. Isaac: Allison. Allison! Breathe. (BREATHES DEEPLY) (WHISPERING IN FRENCH) (TRANQUILIZER GUN FIRES) Allison: Isaac, she's gone. Stiles: Scott, it's me, you got to call me back as soon as you can. It wasn't Malia's doll. It was her sister's. Malia left it at the car for her sister. It's like bringing flowers to a grave. Okay, and we stole the flowers. So, that's all she's trying to do, right. Bring the doll back to the grave, to the car wreck. That's where she's headed. The car wreck. Lydia: Stiles? Stiles: Yeah. Lydia: Stiles! Stiles: Lydia, don't move. Lydia: Look for a warning label. Stiles: A warning label? Lydia: Instructions on how to disarm it. Stiles: Lydia, why the hell would they put instructions on the bottom of a trap? Lydia: Because animals can't read. Stiles: Lydia, we got a problem. Lydia: Huh? Stiles: I can't read either. Lydia: You don't need the instructions. When was the last time you've ever used instructions? Am I right? You don't need them because you are too smart to waste your time with them, okay? You can figure it out. Stiles, you're the one who always figures it out. So you can do it. Figure it out. Stiles: Okay, here we go. Ready? (GASPING) Stiles: Okay, here we go. (LYDIA SQUEALS) (BOTH GRUNTING) (SIGHS) (ROARING) (SNARLS) (GROWLS) (YELLS) (DISTANT HOWLING) Stiles: That's what I'm talking about. (GROWLING) (KNOCKING) Sheriff: Mr. Tate. Mr Tate: Malia? (BOTH SOBBING) Derek: It's made from a Rowan tree. It's mountain ash wood. And that would be just mountain ash. Somebody really doesn't want our hands in there. (SIGHS)	Plan: A: a female wolf; Q: What do Derek and Peter's captors want information about? A: the were-coyote Malia; Q: Who does Scott and his friends try to track down? A: a human; Q: What does Scott try to change Malia back to? A: Isaac; Q: Who is caught in a coyote trap? A: Stiles; Q: Who saves Lydia from a trap? A: Allison; Q: Who uses a tranquillizer dart to sedate Malia's father? A: an Alpha roar; Q: What does Scott use to transform Malia back to a human? A: the trap; Q: What does Isaac break with the help of Scott? A: his leg; Q: What part of Isaac's body was trapped in a trap? A: Sheriff Stilinski; Q: Who reunites Malia with her father? A: their captors; Q: Who are Peter and Derek freed from? A: Deucalion; Q: Who hired Braeden to free Peter and Derek? A: a swarm; Q: What is the group of fireflies called that morph into three mysterious figures? A: three; Q: How many mysterious figures are released at the Nemeton? Summary: Derek and Peter's captors want information about a female wolf. Scott and his friends attempt to track down the were-coyote Malia before her father kills her, in order to change her back to a human. Isaac becomes caught in a coyote trap, while Stiles saves Lydia from another trap. Allison uses a tranquillizer dart to sedate Malia's father. Scott tracks down Malia and embraces his Alpha powers in order to transform Malia back into a human with an Alpha roar, which also gives Isaac the strength to break the trap on his leg. Sheriff Stilinski then reunites Malia with her father. Stiles discovers that he has regained the ability to read. Meanwhile, Peter and Derek are freed from their captors by an unlikely ally, Braeden, who reveals that she was hired to free them by Deucalion. At the Nemeton, someone releases a swarm of fireflies that morph into three mysterious figures.
[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. ST. ANDREW'S SCHOOL - DAY] (Open on the statue of St. Andrew. The school bell rings marking the end of the day.) [FRONT DOOR] (Slow motion. The double doors to the school open and children run out of the school, whooping and cheering that school is over.) (Resume motion. School boys and school girls walk along the front of the school.) (A car horn honks.) (Sister Teresa, talking with another Nun, looks up at the source of the blaring car horn.) Sister Teresa: Could you excuse me? (Sister Teresa walks over to the parked car on the side of the road. Inside the car, Sybil Perez waits impatiently for her daughter.) (Sister Teresa knocks on the passenger-side window. Sybil rolls the window down.) Sister Teresa: Everything all right, Sybil? Sybil Perez: I'm fine. What's taking Alicia so long? We have a doctor's appointment in forty minutes. Sister Teresa: She's not here. Sybil Perez: Well, she has to be. I saw her leave for school this morning. Sister Teresa: Alicia hasn't been in any of her classes. (Sybil's phone rings. She answers it.) Sybil Perez: (to phone) April, get off the phone. I can't talk right now. April Perez: (from phone) Somebody took Alicia. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - PARKING LOT - DAY] (Sybil Perez parks in the parking lot. She gets out of the car and rushes over to her daughter.) Sybil Perez: What did you do?! (yells) What the hell did you do?! (April turns from the Officer toward her mom.) April Perez: Mom, I don't know ... (Sybil slaps April hard across the face.) Sybil Perez: Where is she?! April Perez: I'm not sure. (Two officers keep the two women apart.) Sybil Perez: (screams) Where is she?! (Sybil Perez fights the officer, pounding on his chest with her fists and screaming.) Sybil Perez: Get off of me! SYBIL PEREZ: Go find my daughter! Go find my daughter! FLASH TO: [EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - PARKING LOT - DAY -- LATER] (Brass interviews April Perez.) April Perez: I really didn't see Alicia all that much. Um, I don't get to. Her life sucks, so sometimes she would just, you know, play hooky and spend the day with me. Brass: After girls' day out, you, uh, stopped here for a snack. (Off screen, we hear Sybil crying. Brass turns around at the sounds of sobbing. As he watches, Carlos Perez walks up and hugs Sybil.) Brass: Is that your father? April Perez: Yeah. Um ... I was just went in, and ... you know, to get something while she changed back into her uniform. Brass: In the car? April Perez: It's not that big of a deal. It's like, you know, the skirt over the jeans, and back to school before mom knows anything. Brass: So what did he look like? What kind of car did he drive? (Quick flash to: [EARLIER] April runs out of the convenience store.) April Perez: Alicia! (She sees Alicia in the passenger seat of a black car. The car is driving out of the parking lot.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) April Perez: A black guy, uh ... He had a beard and he had a crappy black Buick. But, um ... I don't know, maybe it was blue. (Quick flash to: [EARLIER] April is in the car looking out the window and screaming. The car drives away.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) April Perez: I don't really ... Brass: No, that's ... that's good. April Perez: Okay. Brass: You did good. That's good. Thank you. April Perez: Okay. (Cut to: A police siren blurbs off and on. Grissom leans forward looking into April's red car through the window. He snaps a photo.) (Carols and Sybil Perez walk up to Grissom.) Carlos Perez: The cops won't tell us. What are the chances of finding our daughter? Grissom: Well, we're doing everything we can. Carlos Perez: That's what everyone keeps saying. No one will tell us anything. (Grissom sees something.) Grissom: Did you injure yourself, Mrs. Perez? (On the edge of her blouse is a large blood stain.) Sybil Perez: Oh, a nosebleed. Grissom: That's a lot of blood. I'm going to need to take your shirt. Carlos Perez: Why? Grissom: If you like, I can have someone follow you home so that you can change. Sybil Perez: (getting angry) You think we had something to do with it? Our daughter is missing. She's out there somewhere alone and scared. What are you doing about that?! Grissom: I'm just collecting evidence. Sybil Perez: Fine. Here! (She removes her shirt and throws it at Grissom.) Sybil Perez: Take it! Go find her! FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS SCENES (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - PARKING LOT -- DAY] (Brass is calling in the alert.) Brass: This is Captain Jim Brass. I want to issue a Missing Persons Emergency Alert Amber. Notify all radio and casino signatories. The description is as follows ... [DISPATCH] (Dispatch types in the Alert.) [TELEVISION SET] (Programs are interrupted as BREAKING NEWS is reported.) News Anchorman: We have breaking news from the channel 8 newsroom right now. An Amber Alert has been issued for missing 13-year-old Alicia Perez. [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. LAS VEGAS HIGHWAYS (STOCK) - DAY] News Anchorman: (V.O.) The suspect in Alicia's abduction is described as an African American man, 35 to 45 years old, about six feet tall. [EXT. LAS VEGAS HIGHWAYS (STOCK) - DAY] (The highway sign on the side of the road flashes: AMBER ALERT BLACK BUICK NEV LIC. -----CA [EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - PARKING LOT - DAY] (Warrick and Nick are going through April's red car.) Warrick: How'd you shoot, man? Nick: Rusty. They say I have a flinch. Warrick: You and I need to go practice some, huh? Nick: Yeah, when do we have time to do that? (Nick dusts the door for prints.) Nick: If we're not processing a scene or working evidence, we're in court. Warrick: Well, when they take your piece, you'll make time. Nick: This girl seemed a little old to be lured by a lost puppy. So how'd this guy pull this off in a lot this public? Warrick: Easy. With a map and a smile. (Over by the front of the convenience store, Warrick watches as Catherine measures the distance.) Warrick: Rolls up -- "Hey, little girl, I'm lost. You from around here?" (Nick nods.) She gets close enough he pulls her out of her sister's car, into his car ... Bam, she's done. Nick: I bet he had a weapon. Threatened her, so he could drive. (Catherine continues to measure the distance into the parking lot toward the car.) Catherine: Probably used his fists. bstrd had to have hit her. (Quick flash to: [EARLIER] Alicia screams. The blurred figure pulls her into the car and hits her as she kicks and screams.) (The car door slams shut.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) [INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY] (Brass interviews the Convenience Store Clerk as he carries a box of drinks.) Clerk: Look, dude, I didn't see it. (The Clerk puts the box down on the side.) Clerk: Chica had a nice, round ass and that's what I was scoping. Brass: What time was that? Clerk: About three. She comes in, grabs some candy, looks outside, waves at somebody. The next thing I know, she flips her wig. She's screaming about her sister. I didn't see the girl or a car. Besides, there's a lot of traffic out there. Brass: Was it busy? Clerk: Kind of. Brass: How many surveillance cameras do you have in here? Clerk: Inside we got five. They're all state-of-the-art. Place gets hit a lot. Outside they're all dummies. Brass: Well, I'm glad to see you're so concerned about your customers after they leave the store. [EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - PARKING LOT - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Catherine's phone rings. She answers it and her side of the conversation fades into the background.) Catherine: (to phone) Hello. (Camera follows Grissom as he walks out of the convenience store.) Catherine: (to phone) (o.s.) Who's calling? Yes. Uh, yes. Speaking. (Grissom heads toward Nick.) Grissom: Nick, you failed firearms qualification. You can't be here. Nick: Oh, yeah. Well, I'm taking it again day after tomorrow, so I figured I could work. Grissom: Not in the field. Nick: You're serious? Grissom: You're in violation just carrying the weapon. Catherine: (to phone) (o.s.) She's what? Uh - uhm ... (Nick turns and looks at Warrick. Warrick looks away.) Nick: Copy that. I'll be in the lab. Catherine: Uh, Nick, let me catch a lift with you. (to Grissom) There's something going on with Lindsay. (Catherine follows Nick back to his car.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - WAITING ROOM -- DAY] (Catherine walks up to the Officer watching Lindsay.) Catherine: I'm Catherine Willows. What's the trouble? Officer: With the Amber Alert, we've been keeping an eye out. Found your daughter up on Boulder Highway trying to hitch a ride downtown. (Catherine glares at Lindsay who rolls her eyes at her mom.) Now, kids this age, they need a firm hand at home, and ... Catherine: (interrupts) Thank you, Officer. I appreciate everything you've done. Let's go. (Catherine leads Lindsay away.) [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Catherine and Lindsay go into an empty room. They both sit down.) Catherine: Okay, what or who is on Fremont Street that you would risk your life to get to? Mouthing off to teachers, slipping grades and now hitchhiking. I mean, what is next, Lindsay? Lindsay Willows: (mutters) Stripping. Catherine: What did you just say? (exasperated chuckle) Okay, no phone, no friends, no nothing. Lindsay Willows: For how long? Catherine: A month. Lindsay Willows: (rolls her eyes) Whatever. (Lindsay gets up.) Catherine: Hey, you want to make it two? Lindsay Willows: Dad always said you were a drama queen. Catherine: Well, what do you expect, Lindsay, since he was always high. Lindsay Willows: I'd take dad high over you any day! Nana's coming to pick me up. I'll be out front. (Lindsay grabs her backpack and leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Greg and Mia Dickerson, the new DNA Technician, walk into the lab. Warrick is sitting at the table with an array of items on it.) Greg: You paged. (He doesn't look up.) Warrick: Yeah. (Points to the items on the table.) What's missing? (Greg takes a moment and looks at the various school books and bags on the table.) Greg: I give up. Warrick: Her sister said the victim changed back into her school uniform in the car. Mia Dickerson: So? Where are the clothes she changed out of? (At the sound of a new voce, Warrick looks up.) Warrick: Hello. (Greg makes the introductions.) Greg: Mia Dickerson, Warrick Brown. Warrick: Welcome. Mia Dickerson: Look, I already know you have a running bet with another CSI over how long the new hire lasts, so let's skip it. You got something for DNA? (Warrick grabs the evidence bag and tosses it toward her.) Warrick: The mother's bloody t-shirt. Mia Dickerson: Exemplar? Warrick: It's on its way. Mia Dickerson: Thank you. (Mia leaves the room. Warrick watches her. He looks sufficiently impressed. Greg turns and looks at Warrick.) Greg: (smiles) Just hedging my bets. Warrick: How so? Greg: Well, I need field experience, but before I get that, I need to find a replacement. So far, I'm oh-for-one. Plus, she's hot and thinks you're a tool, so I'm way ahead. (Greg turns and leaves Warrick chuckling.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PEREZ RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM -- DAY] (Camera slowly pans across the counter of framed photos. Every photo is of a little boy in various stages of growth. There is one photo with April in it standing next to the little boy, but none of Alicia that we can see.) (In the living room, Brass interviews Carlos and Sybil Perez.) Carlos Perez: A gardener and a pool man come in once a week. Brass: How long have they worked for you? Carlos Perez: Years. Brass: How about a housekeeper or a maid? Sybil Perez: I do it. Brass: Let's talk about your daughter's routines. Her routes to and from school, any extra-curricular activities, a list of friends. Sybil Perez: There wasn't any after school stuff. Alicia isn't a joiner. She walks to school, I pick her up. That's it. Brass: How often did April get her sister to skip school? (They look at each other.) Carlos Perez: We don't know. We ... we just found out ourselves. Brass: I'm curious because April said she hardly ever gets to see Alicia. Why didn't she just come here? Sybil Perez: Because she wasn't welcome. We kicked her out. Carlos Perez: April's a troubled girl. Problems with drugs, the police. You might as well know, she also did some time. Juvenile lockup. Brass: For what? Carlos Perez: Heroin possession. Intent to distribute. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PEREZ RESIDENCE - ALICIA'S BEDROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Sara sits at Alicia's desk looking at the contents on her computer. Grissom examines the rest of the room for evidence.) Sara: There's nothing suspicious on the server. Only hits are music downloads. Wait a minute. An organ transplant site. For kidneys, heart, lungs and liver. Grissom: What is that? Homework research? Sara: Maybe. These are pretty detailed biochem and immunosuppressant citations. It's a little over a seventh grader's head, don't you think? Grissom: I don't know. I bet you were a pretty smart seventh grader. (Sara can't help but smile. Grissom picks up a purple and blue plastic backpack and looks at it.) (Sara opens Alicia's notebook where she finds doodling of "Mrs. Jimmy Jones", "Mrs. Alicia Jones", "Love Jimmy", red hearts and flowers.) Sara: She has a serious crush on a boy named Jimmy Jones. (Grissom looks around and finds "I Hate Mom & Dad" written on the edge of the linens.) Grissom: Sara. (Sara turns.) Grissom: (reads) "I hate mom & dad." (Daniel Perez appears in the doorway.) Daniel Perez: Who doesn't once in a while? (Grissom and Sara look up. He introduces himself.) Daniel Perez: Daniel Perez. And you are ... ? Grissom: Gil Grissom, Sara Sidle, Las Vegas Crime Lab. Daniel Perez: I guess that's why you're pawing through my sister's private stuff. Sara: It's going to help us find her. Do you know a Jimmy Jones? Daniel Perez: Yeah, a boy from school. She liked him. Grissom: What's your sister like? Personable, friendly, outgoing, trusting, maybe? Daniel Perez: She's a giver - from the day she was born. (Daniel's nose starts to bleed.) Grissom: Uh, Daniel... you're bleeding. (Grissom points to his own nose.) Daniel Perez: I'm sorry. (Daniel uses his blood-stained tissue to wipe his nose.) Daniel Perez: You want to know my sister, you should check her diary under the mattress. (Daniel turns and leaves. Sara steps forward and checks under the mattress. Sure enough, there's Alicia's diary.) (Sara opens the book. Grissom leans sideways to look.) Sara: (reading) "Last night I didn't sleep very good. I kept thinking about the surgery." I guess we know why she was doing transplant research. [INT. PEREZ RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Brass continues to interview Carlos and Sybil Perez.) Sybil Perez: Serious illness takes a toll on a family. (Sybil turns and looks at Carlos.) Alicia never complained. (She looks at Brass.) She's used to the doctors. She has friends there -- people who understand -- go through the same hell. Brass: You know, if a victim has a serious illness, you really should disclose it right away. Carlos Perez: Our daughter isn't sick. Our son's kidneys are failing. Alicia is his matching donor. Without her, he'd die. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BRASS' OFFICE -- DAY] (Brass and Catherine interview Jimmy Jones. His mother is there.) Jimmy Jones: Well, Alicia was a great half-back -- strong right leg, aggressive. You don't see that too much in girls. Catherine: She played soccer? Jimmy Jones: Yeah, for awhile. She quit before she got cut. She missed a lot of practice 'cause she was always going to the doctor, and you can't really play with one kidney anyway, so ... Catherine: She told you about her brother? Jimmy Jones: Yeah, on the way to school. Hell, I thought that it was cool that she was saving his life, but she seemed pretty pissed. Mrs. Jones: Jimmy ... language. Jimmy Jones: Sorry. Anyway, uh, she didn't seem too happy. Said she had no life and never would. Brass: So, Jimmy, on your way to and from school, did anyone ever bother you or approach you in any way? Jimmy Jones: Um ... there was this one guy, with a track suit, he's supposed to be running. He gave me the creeps. Brass: What gave you the creeps? Jimmy Jones: Well, start with his gear. I mean, nobody runs in velour. And he never had any water and he was always on the phone. Brass: What'd he look like? Jimmy Jones: Black guy. He was not a runner, but he was in shape. Bald, mustache, beard. Catherine: How old would you say he is, Jimmy? Jimmy Jones: Qld ... like 30. (He glances unsure at Catherine.) ... I just ... never liked the way he looked at Alicia. Brass: Thanks. You've been a great help, Jimmy. Thank you. Uh, if it's okay with your mom, I'm going to have you hang around, look at some photos. All right? Jimmy Jones: Sure. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (Nick is on the computer mapping out and showing Warrick and Grissom the community and surrounding area where Alicia Perez disappeared. As he narrates, the lights appear up on the monitor.) Nick: Here's the Perez house, Alicia's walk route to school, and the convenience store where she was taken. All the locations are within a half-mile, plus or minus three-tenths. (He works on the keyboard.) Nick: This is a map of all registered sx offenders in the state, the county, and the neighborhood. (The neighborhood area is covered with red squares.) Warrick: Phew! That's a lot of perverts. Nick: Get out of jail, come to Vegas. They're listed in tiers of projected recidivism, zero through three. Three being the most dangerous. Grissom: They're the ones most likely to plan an abduction and find the privacy for sexual assault and murder. Nick: If I remove the zeroes and ones, since they have a low or moderate risk designation, this is what we're left with. (Nick makes more adjustments and all the O's and 1's disappear leaving a slew of 2's and 3's on the screen.) Warrick: That's still a lot of perverts. Nick: Mm, maybe not. (He makes more adjustments to the monitor.) Nick: Here, I'll isolate the Perez neighborhood. (A name card appears on screen for: MARLON WAYLORD - Tier Two sx Offender Race: African American Occupation: Handyman Status: Lives Alone Hgt: 6 feet Wgt: 205 lbs Address: 23278 Koval Ln., Apt #12 Summerlin, NV 89129 Nick: (reads) Marlon Waylord, tier two, 38, black, lives alone, sometimes handyman and fits Jimmy Jones' description. (Grissom sits back and smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. WAYLORD RESIDENCE - APT 12 -- DAY] (Brass knocks on the front door. A couple of officers, Grissom and Sara wait outside.) (The door opens.) Marlon Waylord: Officer. (Brass notices a smudge of blood on Marlon's chin.) Brass: Did you, uh, cut yourself shaving, Mr. Waylord. (Marlon Waylord doesn't say anything.) Marlon must be shy. Marlon Waylord: Marlon didn't do nothing. Brass: And I believe you, too. Come on, step over here, please. (Marlon Waylord steps out of the apartment, his arms held out away from his sides.) Marlon Waylord: You all know that sx offenders under a felony conviction have absolutely no unconditional release and are under lifetime supervision, automatically assigned by the Nevada Criminal State justice system. (Marlon Waylord is handcuffed. Grissom and Sara head into the apartment.) Marlon Waylord: Mandated, of course, by state and federal Megan's Law in effect 5/17/96 and therefore I am required to register and update my information ... whenever I move from my current, uh, domicile. Brass: Well, that's a big word. Well, you got all your facts right, Marlon. Help us with this one. We know you own a Buick. Where is it? Marlon Waylord: Tangiers' parking lot. It wouldn't start. Brass: I hate that. I'll have it towed to the lab. Marlon Waylord: You do that. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WAYLORD RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Grissom and Sara look around the sparse living room.) INTERCUT WITH: [BEDROOM] (Sara walks into the bedroom.) (In the living room, Grissom looks at the jacket hanging on the doorless closet and finds a strand of hair) (Sara uses the ALS on the bed and finds body fluids.) Sara: Presence of semen. (Grissom picks up the cell phone.) (Sara pushes the bedsheets and blankets aside. She finds some children's underwear. That also has semen on it.) (Sara walks back into the living room.) Sara: There's children's underwear in the bedroom. (Grissom scrolls through the photos on the phone of Alicia and Jimmy.) Grissom: Photos of children on his phone, including Alicia. (He hands the phone to Sara.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Brass and Grissom interview Marlon Waylord.) Brass: So here's the deal: When you go up, I won't yell short eyes first. How's that sound? Marlon Waylord: Sounds like a really good deal ... You know, if I was, um, guilty. Brass: The inmates didn't treat you too gentle the last time. Did they? (Marlon turns and glares at Brass.) Marlon Waylord: You know they didn't. Brass: So tell me what you did with Alicia. Marlon Waylord: Who? (Brass puts a photo on the table.) Grissom: She's been all over the news, non-stop. It's that why you shaved? (Marlon licks his finger and touches the photo, alongside Alicia's face.) Brass: Oh, come on. Don't make me smack you. (Marlon looks at Grissom.) Grissom: Her friend tells us that you were always looking at her. You went out in the morning and watched them go to school. (Grissom shows the phone photos to Marlon.) Marlon Waylord: She's sweet, very sweet, but, fellas ... I wasn't looking at her. You all should check my file. Brass: No, I did. I know that your recent preference is for little boys, but, uh, your first time was with a female cousin. Let me read what you said. "I couldn't help myself 'cause she was acting so hot. It was her fault; she was really hot." (Brass tosses the file on the table in front of Marlon.) Grissom: How does a six-year-old act hot? (Brass' phone beeps. Brass checks it.) Marlon Waylon: Listen ... I'm, uh... I'm sick. You know, I got this-this this illness, which ... look. I don't want to go back to prison. That's why I'm being so compliant. Now, yo, I don't work near no little kids. I stay a hundred yards from the school grounds. Man, I don't even go to the park. Grissom: It's not a disease. It's a compulsion. Marlon Waylord: I stay away from youth organizations, after-school programs, churches ... Grissom: We found a pair of boy's underwear in your bedroom. Explain that. Marlon Waylord: I look at the photos. I look at the photos and I have the briefs for, um ... release. Grissom: So you fantasize, and eventually, the fantasy's not enough and you relapse. Marlon Waylord: Hey, they're mine. I bought the underwear! Grissom: Well, if that's true, then you were in a store where little children were shopping with their mothers. Marlon Waylord: And what would you have me do, huh, man? What?! I mean, I even thought about chemical castration. Grissom: Medroxyprogesterone is inconclusive. It renders the subject incapable of erection, but it doesn't remove the drive. You would still be capable of sexual assault using other objects. Marlon Waylord: Listen ... um, I haven't done anything, uh, illegal, so you can't hold me in here forever. Oh, is that killing look in your eyes a compulsion, Mr. Grissom? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY] (Warrick walks into the lab. Mia reports to him.) Warrick: What's up? Mia Dickerson: The seminal fluid on the boy's underwear matches your pedophile. Warrick: Epithelials? (Mia starts to answer, but Greg interrupts.) Greg: His. And only his. Warrick: That confirms his story that the briefs were never worn. Hair? (Again, Greg interrupts.) Greg: Synthetic. Probably from a wig. Warrick: Great. That means we have to let the bstrd go. It's only a matter of time before he snatches up another kid. (Warrick turns to leave, Mia stops him.) Mia Dickerson: You got any friends in uniform? Warrick: Yeah, but they can't watch him indefinitely. Mia Dickerson: Okay, look. Megan's law has holes. Police aren't required to notify a community about a predator. So flood his block with flyers detailing his crimes. Trust me, the neighbors won't let him out of their sight. Warrick: Or they'll kill him. (Warrick's pager beeps. He checks it.) Warrick: They found Alicia Perez. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. WOODS -- DAY] (Alicia Perez is on the ground. There are blood stains on the blanket wrapped around her body. Her face is covered.) (Brass stands over the body. Grissom, Catherine and Warrick walk toward the scene.) Brass: A tour helicopter spotted her around 4:00 P.M. (They put their kits down.) Grissom: How many people have walked through the crime scene? Brass: Just the responding officers, lug soles, sizes 10 and 11. Grissom: We're going to need some time here, Jim. Brass: (sighs heavily) Yeah, well, there's no rush now. (Warrick kneels down next to the body.) Warrick: She's wrapped up pretty tight. Grissom: Protecting her against insects and carrion, maybe. (Catherine opens the blanket up and away from Alicia's face.) Grissom: Somebody, uh, wanted her intact. Catherine: Well, her face is covered, that means remorse, guilt ... somebody cared. (Catherine notices the mis-aligned buttons on Alicia's blouse.) Catherine: She's been re-dressed. (She also checks under Alicia's skirt.) Catherine: Her panties are missing. Grissom: All right. 360-degree grid search. Sometimes rapists like to relive the event. He may have wanted to watch her. So keep the body in view. We're looking for shoe prints, sperm clusters ... anything else you can find. (David Phillips walks up to the crime scene.) (Cut to and various dissolves of: Catherine and Warrick look around the area.) (Warrick finds a shoe print in the dirt. He puts a ruler down and snaps photos of the print.) (Grissom takes his glasses off.) (David Phillips inserts the meat thermometer to take the body's temperature. After a moment, he checks it.) David Phillips: 90 degrees? Given the timeline, it should be higher. That-that can't be right. Grissom: Well, today's temp, last night's weather ... may have had something to do with it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (David Phillips and Grissom check the body.) David Phillips: No signs of sexual assault. (Grissom checks Alicia's hands.) Grissom: No defensive wounds. No wounds of any kind. David Phillips: Were you expecting some? (The shutter clicks as Grissom takes a photo.) Grissom: Well, she was wrapped in a bloody blanket. Since there's no trauma, maybe the blood belongs to her killer. (David rolls her body over.) Grissom: Roll her. (On Alicia's back there are two long parallel bruising marks.) Grissom: (voice softens in surprise) Look at those marks. There was nothing underneath her at the crime scene that, uh, would've made those. David Phillips: Well, maybe she was moved. Trunk of car? Tire iron? (Grissom takes another picture.) Grissom: Yeah, but there's, uh, two impressions, and they're too long to be a lug wrench. (Grissom raises the camera to take another picture. He looks down at the body through the camera lens. After a long moment, he puts the camera down without taking the photo. He stares at the body of the dead child. Something about it just affects him.) (David turns around and stares at Grissom.) (Grissom stares at Alicia. He shakes his head.) (Camera holds on Alicia.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Grissom sits in the hallway, his forehead resting on the hand holding his glasses. A door opens and closes.) (Catherine walks up to him.) Catherine: Have you been to bed? (Grissom looks up.) Grissom: Yes. (Catherine sits down next to him.) Catherine: Did you sleep? (He doesn't answer her.) Catherine: Me neither. She was the same age as Lindsay. She was trying to hitchhike. Grissom: Where was she going? Catherine: Fremont Street. Grissom: Was she buying drugs? Catherine: (appalled) No! She's twelve. (She sighs.) She's ... just so angry. She doesn't talk to me. Grissom: Well, if enough people knew what was out there hunting them, they'd never leave their house. I think you need to sit her down. Catherine: Well, I don't want to scare her. I don't want my daughter to be this ... frightened, paranoid kid who's always looking over her shoulder. Grissom: Catherine, there's a big difference between scaring her and preparing her. And all the reasons why you should are in that room. (Catherine thinks about it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Dr. Robbins shows Grissom Alicia's x-rays. Grissom points to the white spots on the x-ray.) Grissom: What is all this bone scarring? Dr. Robbins: I thought you should be interested. Twelve holes exactly made by a large bore needle. Grissom: Marrow harvest? Robbins: Young Alicia donated bone marrow at least twice. Pretty selfless thing to do once, considering how painful the procedure is. Grissom: Let me ask you: What most likely causes shortness of breath, obvious bruising, sudden nosebleeds, petechiae? (Quick flashback to: [DANIEL PEREZ] As Grissom remembers, Daniel Perez stands in the doorway. Quick pulses of the bruises on his arms and of Daniel lifting the tissue to his bleeding nose.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Robbins: Sounds like acute leukemia, but without immunophenotyping, I couldn't tell you what kind. Grissom: Alicia's cause of death? Robbins: Cardiopulmonary arrest. Grissom: Time of death? Robbins: That's a little trickier. No solids in the stomach contents, just a milky liquid. Liver mortis was fixed and deep purple with a vitreous humor potassium level of 20 millimoles per liter with faint putrefaction. So, I'd say she's been dead about... 44 hours between midnight and 8:00 A.M., the day of her kidnapping. Grissom: Which means April Perez was lying about the abduction. Robbins: Yep. Story's got more holes than her sister's bones. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Brass interviews April Perez.) Brass: I bought it the hell we all bought it. But your sister was already dead when you raised that alarm. Her body told us that. There was no sexual assault. The evidence told us that, too. So you didn't think this through, sweetheart. So what are we left with? A false police report and a murdered little girl. So it's one to four for the Amber Alert. And for your sister, life imprisonment if it's an accident, and the needle if it's not. April Perez: I didn't kill Alicia. Brass: But you know, I get it. I get the picture. I mean, your brother's the center of attention. He's sick, he's dying. Your cells don't match. Your parents have Alicia. She's his savior. So, where do you fit in? What are you to this family? April Perez: I'm invisible. Brass: But not anymore you're not. She's dead, and your brother's sick. When he goes ... April Perez: That's crazy, okay. I told you, I didn't kill my sister. Brass: I want to believe that. Come on. Help me to believe that. It just means you were in on it because you put on one hell of a show. You still using? April Perez: No. Brass: Maybe we should run your blood just to be sure, huh? April Perez: I use now and then to take the edge off. Brass: So how do you pay for this habit? Are you pimping your sister for drugs, April? April Perez: Why don't you make up your mind? No signs of rape. If I was selling my sister, there would be, wouldn't there? Brass: Depends on who you sold it to. You're not gonna talk your way out of this one. You need to get clean. April Perez: What I need is a lawyer, which means this conversation is over. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Catherine and Grissom are in the lab going over the medical records.) Catherine: Daniel Perez was diagnosed with relapsing acute promyelocytic leukemia or APL when he was ten. It's rare, it's nasty, and it usually hits Hispanics. (The whiteboard timeline chart in front of them shows the following: DANIEL ALICIA 1-DIAGNOSED APL (red) 2-STEM CELLS FROM ALICIA (red) - BORN CORD BLOOD DONOR (blue) Catherine: His sister, Alicia was conceived in vitro to be a genetic match. Grissom: Well, it's not unheard of. Have a baby, get the undeveloped stem cells from cord blood. New parents are even storing it now. Catherine: But when she was four, they took her blood for a transfusion. (Quick flashback to: [HOSPITAL] Alicia complains as they insert the needle for the transfusion.) Alicia Perez: (crying) No ... no! Sybil Perez: It's all right, it's okay, sweetheart. Alicia Perez: No... !! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: At seven, they took her blood to remove stem cells. (Quick flashback to: [HOSPITAL] Alicia turns and looks at the large machine next to her whirring.) (Various flashes of Alicia in the chair.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: Well, Daniel must have relapsed because they took bone marrow twice. (He indicates the notations on the whiteboard. -- Bone Marrow Recipient (red) - Bone Marrow Donor (blue) -- Bone Marrow Recipient (red) - Bone Marrow Donor (blue) (Quick flashback to: [HOSPITAL] Alicia is having Bone Marrow removed. She's on her stomach on the table. The large bore needle is inserted.) (Quick CGI POV: The large bore needle pierces through the flesh down to the bone. Close-up of the bone shows the needle digging into the bone for a sample.) (Cut to: The physician takes a large syringe sample.) (Quick CGI POV of: Camera shows the liquid in the syringe. Close-up of the reddish colored liquid shows the bone fragments.) (End of CGI POV. The physician continues with the sampling.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: It takes one to one-and-a-half liters of marrow for a successful harvest. Grissom: A living DNA factory. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY] (Mia puts a sample into the blender container and grinds it up. Greg sits at the table watching her. She smiles at him as he watches her, prompting her along, helping her by holding out the next instrument she's going to be using.) Mia Dickerson: I don't need help. Greg: I know. I'm just trying to make the transition seamless. Forget I'm here. (He sits back in his chair as she continues to work.) Greg: So would you like to grab a bite later? I know a diner down the street that serves a mean liver and onions. Mia Dickerson: I don't eat out. Greg: Never ever? Mia Dickerson: I don't like expectorant. Greg: Really? Mia Dickerson: Kitchen staff talk while they prepare your food and then the wait staff repeats your order over the plate, and by the time you get your meal, there are several DNA samples coating it. Greg: Wow. Mia Dickerson: Yeah. No, thank you. (She puts the sample in the machine.) Mia Dickerson: I don't eat birthday cake either. Greg: Oh, blowing out the candles. Mia Dickerson: Ugh. Don't get me started. (She turns the machine on.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - EVENING] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - WAITING ROOM / HALLWAY -- EVENING] (Sybil Perez sits in the waiting room. She looks up and sees Catherine walking in the hallway. She gets up and exits the waiting room to catch up with Catherine.) Sybil Perez: Excuse me. (Catherine turns around.) Sybil Perez: Um ... what happens to April now? Catherine: She is being charged and processed and the court will probably grant her bill. Sybil Perez: Do you know how much...? Catherine: Why? Sybil Perez: She's my daughter. Catherine: She's refusing to talk about what happened to your youngest child, Mrs. Perez. Sybil Perez: I can't leave her in jail. Catherine: I think it might be the best place for her. Sybil Perez: (sighs) This is my fault. I ... I was never there for her. I ... Catherine: Why don't we step in here, please? (They both step back into the waiting room.) Sybil Perez: I spent all my energy getting Daniel to the next ... thing -- the next pill, the next treatment, the next remission, hoping that this time ... (They both sit down.) Catherine: And, uh ... where did Alicia fit in, except for what she could give to your son? Sybil Perez: You have no idea what it's like. Catherine: I saw her medical records. I looked at her x-rays. I know what that little girl suffered, what you put her through. Sybil Perez: So you would let your child die and do nothing. Never. No, you'd talk to doctors and research. And then you'd find out that the national bone marrow registry can't help you 'cause your son is mixed race. And even if he wasn't, there aren't enough donors. Out of four million, only 205,000 are Latino. I did what I had to do. Catherine: You put one child over another. Sybil Perez: (scoffs) I don't expect you to understand. You don't have kids. (Sybil stands up.) Catherine: Uh, I have a daughter. Sybil Perez: (chuckles wryly) So, what kind of mother are you? When do you see her? You work nights. You probably don't even know where she half the time. Alicia's life may not have been simple, but at least I knew her. Can you say the same? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB] (Mia's working the lab when Grissom appears in the doorway.) Grissom: Where's Greg? Mia Dickerson: Helping, uh ... Sara. Grissom: I need the tox results for Alicia Perez. Mia Dickerson: The report is still pending, but the blood on the mother's t-shirt matches the blood on the blanket. (She hands the results to him.) Belongs to the victim. Grissom: Menstrual? Mia Dickerson: Negative. Grissom: Well, the volume of blood that was found on the blanket suggests injury or some kind of trauma. Mia Dickerson: (nods, considers) Nevertheless ... (Grissom looks at her doubtfully.) Mia Dickerson: I was very thorough. Grissom: Run it again, please. (He hands the file folder back to her and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB -- DAY] (Sara and Greg stand at opposite ends of the trace table. On it are two boxes filled with bags of evidence.) Sara: Greg, you said you wanted to help out. Greg: Well, yeah, with searching April's apartment, maybe finding the bad guy. Sara: This counts as field work, you know? Greg: Oh, I'm smiling on the inside. Sara: Dirty laundry or garbage. (Greg starts to answer, but Sara makes the choice.) You know what? You take the garbage. Greg: Thanks. (They each grab their box. They place it in front of themselves and open the bags inside.) (Sara goes through the clothes' pockets. Greg picks through the garbage.) (Greg pulls out a scrunched up piece of paper. It's of a map.) Greg: April own a computer? Sara: No. Why? Greg: Well, she MapQuest the directions to the convenience store from the pedophile's address. (Greg hands the paper to Sara.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - MORGUE -- DAY] (The doors to the morgue open. Catherine leads Lindsay into the morgue where the bodies are kept.) Lindsay Willows: I already told you, mom, I heard you. Can we go now? (Catherine leads Lindsay to the storage area.) Catherine: No. You need to see for yourself why you can't ever hitchhike or go downtown or be careless with your safety. Are you ready? Lindsay Willows: Just do it. I'm not scared. (Catherine opens the container door and pulls out the body of the dead woman. It's not a pretty sight.) Catherine: (softly) She was waiting for a bus downtown when she was attacked. She's was 23. She was taller and stronger than you, Lindsay. She fought back and didn't win. Someone's gonna have to tell her family. Her parents are gonna have to see her like this. Do you get it now? (Lindsay looks at Catherine, then runs out of the morgue. Robbins walks into the morgue.) Robbins: Kids don't belong in the coroner's office unless they're in a drawer. You should've found a different way to deal with your daughter's rebellion. (He walks up to Catherine as she puts the drawer back.) Catherine: Well, with due respect, Doc, this doesn't concern you. (Catherine turns to follow her daughter.) Robbins: Ever notice how childhood keeps getting shorter and shorter? Whose fault is that? Catherine: (whirls around) I honestly don't know! (Catherine leaves. Dr. Robbins watches her go.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (Archie goes over the MapQuest computer information with Sara. He's online at MapQuest.) Archie Johnson: We subpoenaed MapQuest -- they store each page on a different server. All queries are saved for 72 hours, then they dump the core. Sara: The suspect doesn't have a computer, but she could've gone to the library or used a service. Archie Johnson: No, physical location doesn't matter. What we do is a reversal process. (Archie runs a reverse internet search.) > Refining Search Parameters: SEARCH DATE: 10-5-07 TIME: 5PM TO 6 AM] Archie Johnson: Using the internet protocol number, we can get to the server. Sara: Which will ultimately lead to the internet account holder. Archie Johnson: Right. We hunt for child pornographers the same way. RESULTS 1 OF 7 IP ADDRESS: 492864.298476.22876.22 NAME: GEORGA CLEIN ADDRESS: 311 SEPHILL RD., LV, NV ACCOUNT#: 47462-286-11937-26 RESULTS 2 OF 7 IP ADDRESS: 55736.2271.3383.11940 NAME: JULIA STEELE ADDRESS: 2672 W. 6TH ST., LV, NV ACCOUN#: 10197-4993-52-006 RESULTS 3 OF 7 IP ADDRESS: 474908.8080-28263.10487 NAME: NINA ELAM ADDRESS: 141 N. MEADOWS LN. LV,-- ACCOUNT#: 47264-20104-6768-F298 RESULTS 4 OF 7 IP ADDRESS: 848736.4469.101048.181 NAME: LEONARD DEAN ADDRESS: 517 BOURBON WAY, LV, NV ACCOUNT#: HD039-2846-11039-YU393 Sara: Who does the account belong to? (The final results appear on screen.) RESULTS 5 OF 7 10/06-- IP ADDRESS: 21057.38610.3884.1816 NAME: MABEL HINTON ADDRESS: 826 HERRICK LN., LV, NV-- ACCOUNT#: 389AH-3947-S42762-MH3091 RESULTS 6 OF 7 IP ADDRESS: 58563.289464.1010.4846 NAME: PETER CROFT ADDRESS: 25135 KOVAL LN., LV, NV ACCOUNT#: PC3947-22946-0049827-AD9367 RESULTS 7 OF 7 IP ADDRESS: 48763.20947.4829.1-09 NAME: SYBIL PEREZ ADDRESS: 493 PYRAMID WAY SUMMERLIN, NV 89129 ACCOUNT#: SP3947-54059-AK039-1044 Archie Johnson: Sybil Perez. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PEREZ RESIDENCE - FRONT PORCH -- DAY] (Brass knocks on the front door. The door opens.) Brass: Mr. and Mrs. Perez... (Brass holds up the warrant.) Carlos Perez: What's going on? Brass: I'll tell you on the way to the police station - where's your son? Sybil Perez: He's at church. Why? Brass: Let's go. (Sybil and Carlos Perez step out of the house past Warrick, Sara and Grisosm who head inside.) VARIOUS CUTS OF: [INT. PEREZ RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM -- DAY] (Sara stands in front of the open laptop on the dining room table holding the camera in her hands.) (She snaps a photo of the laptop.) (Sara opens the cabinet and finds dozens of prescription containers. She snaps a couple of photos of the shelf. She turns and snaps a photo of the whiteboard calendar logging the medication schedule.) (She looks at a prescription bottle label.) SKADDEN'S PHARMACY 493 BRIARWAY -- DANIEL PEREZ PHONE NO: 555-0187 -- FOR PAIN AS NEEDED OXYCODONE EXPIRES: 12/04/03 REFILLS: 3 USE BY: 12/31/0-- (She looks at a second bottle's label.) SKADDEN'S PHARMACY 493 BRIARWAY -- ALICIA PEREZ PHONE NO: 555-0187 L.P-- -- TAKE ONE AT BED TIME DIAZEPAM EXPIRES: --/02/05 REFILLS: -- USE BY: 12/31/05 (Cut to: Warrick looks at the sole of the father's workboots. He sees a shoe print that's familiar.) (Quick flash to: [CRIME SCENE] Close-up of the shoe print Warrick found in the sand.) (Cut to: Warrick places the ruler down on the ground next to the shoe print.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) (Warrick reaches down for his kit.) [EXT. PEREZ RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE - DAY] (Nick is out by the Perez' car. He's looking at the back trunk and looks at the various items.) [INT. PEREZ RESIDENCE - BED ROOM -- DAY] (Warrick walks into the bedroom and looks around. He finds the bloody handkerchief on the night stand. He picks it up and puts his kit down. As he kneels next to the bed, he finds some blue fibers on the bedsheet.) (He picks it up and looks at it.) (Quick flashes of: [WOODS] Various flashes of Alicia Perez's body and the blanket wrapped around her.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) (Sara walks into the bedroom.) Sara: Daniel Perez is taking oxycodone for pain, and Alicia was on diazepam. (Sara looks a the prescription bottles.) Warrick: Diazepam? That's a pretty hard-core antidepressant for a kid that small. Sara: I guess they didn't want her complaining while they were mining her body for healthy cells. Warrick: You think they didn't care about her? Sara: I don't know. Warrick: Well, it must've been hard, trying to keep their son alive, keep the family together. Couldn't have been easy. Sara: It wasn't for Alicia. (Warrick looks at Sara.) Sara: Did you find anything? Warrick: (sighs) Yeah. Blue fibers. [EXT. PEREZ RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE - DAY] (Sara and Warrick step out of the house and see Nick on the Front Drive. Nick has a tripod set up just outside the car.) Warrick: I take it you qualified at the range. Nick: You take it right. Warrick: What'd you shoot? Nick: 260 out of 300. 225's passing, which, I believe, was your high score. (Warrick chuckles.) Warrick: Where are you doing? Nick: Well, this is dad's car. You ever see those guys out in the street, with the scope, measuring distances? Always thought they were nuts for standing out in traffic, but ... (Nick closes the tripod and shows them the leg rods together.) Nick: Look familiar? (Quick flashback to: [FORENSIC AUTOPSY] The long double parallel marks down Alicia's back. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: Looks like the lividity marks on Alicia's body. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (Brass interviews Carlos Perez.) Brass: I don't get you, man. I mean, even if you could explain it, I would never understand how you could stuff your daughter in the trunk of your car and dump her body in the woods! Carlos Perez: I had to protect my family. Brass: Wasn't Alicia part of your family? You're her father, you dumb bstrd! You're supposed to protect her. What kind of man are you? Carlos Perez: Guilty. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM B - DAY] (Brass interviews Sybil Perez.) Brass: You know, we got enough evidence to charge you with premeditated murder. Sybil Perez: You don't have any proof I killed my daughter. Brass: You helped your husband move the body. You know, I really don't see him taking her underpants off, so that job was left to you. Then you or your daughter, April, checked the sx offenders' registry, and you tried to frame an innocent man. Sybil Perez: (scoffs) Innocent? You trying to make me believe you really give a damn about a pedophile? Please. Brass: Forget about that; this is about you. You're the tough one. You run the house. You run the family. People do what you say in a crisis. Sybil Perez: So? Brass: So this time Alicia said no. She wanted to keep her kidney, and that pissed you off. So you killed her. Sybil Perez: That's ridiculous. Brass: She was angry -- she wanted to play on the soccer team, she wanted a life. Sybil Perez: Alicia got angry, sometimes. Just sick of it. We all did. But she'd have been devastated if Daniel had died and she did nothing to prevent it. She loved her brother. Brass: And you're just the type of woman that would never let her forget it. Come on, Alicia wanted out of this game, and you couldn't let that happen. Not to Daniel, not to your only son, your favorite child. (Quick flashback to: [INT. PEREZ RESIDENCE - KITCHEN] Sybil takes some Oxycodone and grinds it in a mortar.) Brass: (V.O.) You slipped Alicia some of Daniel's oxycodone. (She puts the ground-up pills in a glass and pours some milk in it.) Sybil Perez: Alicia? Time for your pills. (She gives Alicia her pills with the milk. Alicia drinks the milk.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Brass: So now you got a problem -- you had a dead body in the house and no plausible explanation. What are you gonna do? So you call your daughter April. You make up a story, you play your roles, and put on a show. (Quick flashback to: [NIGHT] April and Carlos carry Alicia wrapped in a blanket out from the house and into the back of Carlos' car.) Sybil Perez: Wait. We have to do this right. (Sybil removes Alicia's panties.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Brass: Oh, you know, I-I thought the, uh, the slap was a nice touch. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Warrick finds Grissom in the hallway. He hands him the results.) Warrick: I have a confirmation. Those blue fibers are consistent with the blanket that the girl was wrapped in. And the shoe prints that I found at the scene, they're a match to the father's work boots. (Greg walks up to Grissom and Warrick.) Greg: I re-tested the t-shirt and the blanket. The blood still matches Alicia Perez. The evidence supports this ... unless you'd like to second-guess that also. (Warrick's eyes widen. He quietly steps away from the two.) Grissom: I just expect things to be done correctly, Greg. Greg: (carefully) We all have to learn how to accept change. Mia's doing a great job. It would be nice if someone other than me said so. Grissom: You're right. What about the handkerchief? Greg: I compared that to the other blood evidence. It's also match to the victim. (Grissom realizes what it means.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CHURCH -- DAY] (Grissom walks down the aisle toward the front of the church where Daniel Perez sits. Grissom sits in the pew behind Daniel.) Daniel Perez: I didn't realize until ... today ... how lucky I am. I know pretty much ... how and when I'm gonna die. Most people don't. It's what they're afraid of. Grissom: Was your sister afraid? (Daniel turns to look at Grissom.) Daniel Perez: Never. (He looks back at the front of the church.) Daniel Perez: I'm 11 years older than her, and she took care of me. She was my best friend, and I miss her. (Quick flashback to: [HOSPITAL] Daniel is on the bed hooked up to the machine. Next to him, Alicia holds his hand.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Daniel Perez: As much pain as ... I caused her ... and she wouldn't give up, and she ... she wouldn't let me, either. That's why ... during the last relapse, I made my parents swear that it was the very last time. Grissom: But then your kidneys failed, and they broke their word, huh? Daniel Perez: They told me they ... swore not to fight the cancer, so this didn't count. I wasn't gonna lose this fight. (Quick flashback to: [DANIEL] He pours the ground up Oxycodone into Alicia's milk. He gives the milk to Alicia.) Daniel Perez: (o.s.) Here you go. Makes it better. (Alicia drinks it.) (Cut to: Alicia drops the empty milk glass.) Sybil Perez: (V.O.) Oh my god! Please... (Sybil and Carlos finds Alicia dead.) Carlos Perez: We have to call the police. Sybil Perez: They'll put him in prison. (End of flash. Resume to present.) Daniel Perez: I couldn't watch her suffer anymore. Grissom: This wasn't a mercy killing, Daniel. This was an execution. Bone marrow, transfusions ... that's her blood in your veins. (Quick flashback to: [HOSPITAL] Daniel's on the bed receiving a transfusion.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Grissom: It dripped out of your nose onto the blanket while you were killing her. If you cared so much for Alicia, why didn't you take your own life instead of hers? Daniel Perez: Suicide isn't an option. It's an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God. Grissom: But you believe your God forgives murder? If that's your defense, it won't keep you out of jail. (Daniel turns around to look at Grissom. His cheeks are stained with tears.) Daniel Perez: (crying) But my death will. See, I've got about six more months. I'll be dead before there's even a trial. (Daniel stands up.) Daniel Perez: I-I do want to thank you, though. Grissom: For what? Daniel Perez: For speaking for Alicia. You're probably the first person in her life to think only of her. You know, you may not believe in God, sir, but you do his work. (Daniel nods and leaves. He walks up to the officer who handcuffs him.) (Grissom remains behind in the pew. He looks up at the statue of Jesus on the wall with his arms outstretched.) (Camera holds on Grissom.) FADE TO BLACK	Plan: A: The CSIs; Q: Who investigates the kidnapping of a 13-year-old girl? A: a 13-year-old girl; Q: Who was kidnapped at a convenience store? A: a very disturbing murder; Q: What does the kidnapping of a 13-year-old girl turn into? A: Catherine; Q: Who tries to re-assert her role as a mother when her daughter is picked up for hitchhiking? A: the police; Q: Who picks up Lindsey for hitchhiking? Summary: The CSIs investigate the kidnapping of a 13-year-old girl at the parking lot of a convenience store , which turns into a very disturbing murder. Catherine attempts to re-assert her role as a mother when her daughter Lindsey is picked up by the police for hitchhiking .
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously, on Veronica Mars... Logan regains consciousness on the Coronado Bridge with a knife in his hand and Felix dead at his side. A man stands over him in 201 "Normal is the Watchword." LUIS: Why don't you do me a favor and drop that knife. Veronica and Logan sneak a moment during babysitting duty in 207 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner." VERONICA: You told the police you couldn't identify the guy. LOGAN: I lied. VERONICA: 'Course you did. Logan and Weevil conspire in 211 "Donut Run." LOGAN: So how we gonna figure out who did it? WEEVIL: The one that did it is the one who's in business with the Fitzpatricks. There are flashes of Danny Boyd and Liam Fitzpatrick from 208 "Ahoy, Mateys!" Weevil confronts Molly Fitzpatrick in 212 "Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle." WEEVIL: Molly. Were you dating Felix? MOLLY: My uncles and cousins didn't know about us. Weevil confronts Thumper after his beating. WEEVIL: You killed Felix, didn't you! THUMPER: Before you think about spreading it around, I think you should see something. Thumper shows him what's on his cell phone - Weevil beating up Curly Moran. THUMPER: That night you nearly kicked Curly's head in. Veronica tours the Shark Field stadium demolition site in 216 "The Rapes of Graff." FOREMAN: If we did our work right, the stadium implodes. Standing over the C-4, the foreman yells at Danny Boyd. FOREMAN: I told you to take that crate to section eleven! VERONICA VOICEOVER: Is it just a coincidence that Danny Boyd works here? Or do I add his name to the list of bus crash suspects? End previouslies. INT - NEPTUNE HIGH SCHOOL (NHS), CLASSROOM - DAY. A screen full of Old Glory blazes out upon the darkened English class of Mrs. Murphy. "America the Beautiful" plays at the film presents various patriotic images. MRS. MURPHY: All righty, citizens. The big moment has finally arrived. Veronica is listlessly resting her head on her hand, listening. Sitting behind her and a few rows to her left is Logan, hidden behind the magazine he is not reading, holding it back to front. MRS. MURPHY: One lucky student will spend a week interning at the mayor's office as his honorary deputy. And as a grand finale, this lucky patriot will push the plunger for the demolition of old Shark Field on Saturday. The grand prize winner of Woody Goodman's freedom essay contest is...Logan Echolls! Veronica, sceptical, glances over at Logan as the rest of the class claps. Logan lowers his magazine coyly. He smirks. LOGAN: I'm sorry. Did someone say my name? MRS. MURPHY: For those interested, the winning essay will be on the board all week. Mrs. Murphy acts as she speaks, pinning the essay on a board on the wall as the school bell rings. The students grab their bags and start to move. Veronica goes to the board and skims through the first page of the essay. She turns to stare at Logan, offended. Logan is surrounded by four girls squeeing at him and his success. Logan is lapping it up. GIRLS: Congratulations! Logan! LOGAN: Thank you. Oh, thanks. Yeah, it, uh, yeah, it took some work. GIRLS: I wanna read it. LOGAN: It paid off. GIRLS: Me too. LOGAN: Thank you. GIRLS: I just thinks it's awesome. See you later. Congratulations. LOGAN: Thank you. GIRLS: Bye. LOGAN: Bye bye. As the girls drift away, Veronica heads towards him purposefully. VERONICA: "Freedom: That's what it's all about. But talking about it, and being it, that's two different things." LOGAN: Whew. You came up all deliberate-like, I figured you wanted to be first in line to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance, not recite my prize-winning essay. VERONICA: Neither, actually. I'm quoting Easy Rider, which you may remember making me watch last summer. LOGAN: That's funny, it sounds a lot like my essay. VERONICA: Yeah. Weird. LOGAN: Mmm. Logan smiles as he watches her go. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - DAY. Weevil walks down the raised walkway by the school wall, past the banner advising students on the delights of relaxing and breathing in yoga. As he skips down the steps to the lunch area proper, he spots Thumper, Hector and a couple of other bikers on one of the tables. Thumper gives him barely a glance. Weevil is thrown back in time to the same tableau. FLASHBACK: EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - DAY. Weevil is in the dominant position, standing, one foot on the bench over the other bikers who are all seated. They comprise Felix, Thumper, Hector and one other biker. WEEVIL: Sure. I mean, who doesn't use algebra every day of their life, but, Felix, algebra II? Come on. What am I still doin' even showin' up here? Thumper snaps his fingers and points just as an attractive girl walks by. Weevil ogles the girl. WEEVIL: Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's all comin' back to me now. FELIX: Three months 'til summer, then senior year. After that: vamanos, baby. WEEVIL: I gotta pass the deuce first. FELIX: This'll be your third try, right? How bad you want outta here? WEEVIL: I gotta graduate. I know my gramp's holdin' on just long enough for me to cross that stage. FELIX: Right. WEEVIL: Okay, what kinda grand plans you got, huh? FELIX: Miss James gave me some info on trucking school. Those guys make forty an hour, you know that? That's enough to get married, settle down, crank out a couple shorties... WEEVIL: [doing a John Travolta laugh] Wait, Felix, Felix...hold on, doggie. Before you get all minivan on us, you gotta get a woman. You ain't had a girlfriend longer than a weekend far as I know. Felix just stares up at Weevil. END FLASHBACK. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - CONTINUING. The flashback blue gives way to the present day sunshine as the tableau reverts back to Thumper and the others. Weevil continues to stare at them. At another table, Jane joins Wallace and Veronica. She smiles at Wallace and kisses his cheek. He's a little off, something that Veronica notices and over which her brow creases slightly. JANE: I heard the FBLA won the drawing to host the Sadie Hawkins dance. Dances are the best fundraisers. The band made like three grand at last year's. Veronica, maintaining a humourless demeanour throughout, points to her face. VERONICA: This face? Right here? My over-the-moon face. JANE: Thinking of asking some special boy? VERONICA: I'm flying solo for the foreseeable future. I'll be working it, though. WALLACE: You work it, girlfriend! Wallace holds up his hand in readiness for a high five. Veronica gives him a "What you on, bro" look. VERONICA: Taking keepsake couples photos. She and Jane chuckle. VERONICA: [to Jane] What about you? Anyone on your radar? Veronica does a side glance to Wallace. JANE: Well, I've got a dilemma. I'm torn between this sweet band dork and this all-hands Nubian prince. It's Wallace's turn to chuckle. VERONICA: Oooh. Tell me more about this band dork. Jane lifts the fork from her plate and aims for the cake on Wallace's tray. Wallace slides the tray out from under the fork. WALLACE: Oops. You'll lose that hand. Don't get between a man and his cake. They giggle. Veronica sees Weevil who jerks his head at her. VERONICA: Uh...'scuse me guys, I believe I'm getting the nod. Veronica picks up her bag and heads for Weevil. They stroll along the walkway. WEEVIL: I need your help. VERONICA: Augh, if I had fifty bucks every time someone said that... WEEVIL: Look, I know it's a drag being you and-- VERONICA: No, seriously, I'm gonna need fifty bucks if you expect me to keep listening. Veronica strides ahead of Weevil who starts to slow. WEEVIL: Well, I'm banking on, uh, curiosity getting the better of you. Veronica stops and turns to look at him, her body language all "I don't believe you said that." She turns away and takes a step before pausing again. Weevil stays nonchalant, waiting. Veronica battles with herself before doing an exasperated jig. VERONICA: ...All right, tell me! Damn my curiosity. WEEVIL: Thumper killed Felix. VERONICA: Okay. If you know Thumper did it, what do you need me for? WEEVIL: Well, I can't prove it. Yet. And, uh, Thumper has something on me. There's this video on his cell. VERONICA: Do go on. WEEVIL: I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth about how I handled the Curly situation. Veronica holds out three fingers, pressed firmly together. VERONICA: Shocker. WEEVIL: I think that's Scout's honor, and your fingers are supp-- Weevil starts to put her fingers in the right place for the Shocker. Veronica pulls her hand away. VERONICA: Not important. Moving on. Which parts did you skimp on? WEEVIL: I did get an anonymous call. Not just me, some of my boys too, all saying the same thing: Curly sent the bus off a cliff to take out Cervando for hustling Liam Fitzpatrick out of a few grand. FLASHBACK: EXT - ROAD HOG - NIGHT. Weevil is beating Curly, who is down. Thumper, Hector and some other bikers are standing by watching. Thumper has his cell phone trained on the two of them. Curly looks up at Weevil. CURLY: It wasn't me. I didn't kill your friend, those kids... WEEVIL: That's not what I hear. I hear you took out the bus to get Cervando. Weevil kicks him in the face again, much to the approval of the bikers. CURLY: It wasn't me. I know who did it. There's the sound of a car starting. Thumper looks across the car park. He sees a large dark car there, witnessing the event. Thumper stands and shouts at Weevil. THUMPER: Yo! The car's lights flash on. The bikers start to scatter. BIKERS: Come on man, let's go! Come on man. Hurry up! Weevil runs back to his bike and follows them, leaving Curly alive on the ground. END FLASHBACK. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - CONTINUING. VERONICA: You told me you didn't believe Curly caused the bus crash. WEEVIL: I don't. VERONICA: But you beat him anyway? WEEVIL: No, I saved his life. My boys wanted to send him off a cliff behind the Road Hog. VERONICA: Don't suppose you noticed whether Curly had my name written on his hand while you were...saving his life. WEEVIL: No. But uh, the cameo he was wearing looked a lot like you. Veronica rolls her eyes. WEEVIL: [seriously] Thumper's gonna go down for what he did to Felix one of two ways. Either the law's gonna handle it, or I will. You want it done right, then help me get the proof. Opening credits. INT - NHS, CLASSROOM - DAY. Mr. Wu paces in his history classroom which is serving again as study hall. On the blackboard, he has written "STUDY HALL. WHICH MEANS STUDY!" However he ignores some students goofing off as he straightens one of the pictures of presidents above his desk. The other blackboard is about the legends of the Vietnam war and warns of a test on Friday. Wallace is twisted around in his seat to chat to Jackie who is occupying the desk behind him. They talk quietly. WALLACE: How's your dad doin'? JACKIE: Fantastic. So good, in fact, they took him off suicide watch yesterday. Banner freakin' day in the Cook household, let me tell ya. WALLACE: Is he gettin' better? JACKIE: Slowly. He's in no hurry. Once the doctors clear him, he moves from his guarded hospital room to a cell at county jail. WALLACE: So how you doin' in that great big house all alone? Jackie laughs. JACKIE: Ah, the things you don't know about me. When my mom started getting wrinkles around her eyes and she could see the end of her modeling career coming, her new career became landing a wealthy man. Single wealthy men like to travel, they like to party. They don't like kids hanging around. I was pretty much alone from age eleven on. Being alone now kinda feels like being back to normal. WALLACE: Well, we should hang out. Even Superman would leave his Fortress of Solitude from time to time. JACKIE: I'd like that. Impending steps of doom approach as Mr. Wu steps up to them and clears his throat. MR. WU: This is study hall. Do you two know what we do in study hall? JACKIE: Gimme a minute, I think I know this one... MR. WU: Mm hm. Mr. Wu slaps his finger down on the book in front of Jackie, then carries on pacing. Wallace glances back at her. Jackie rolls her eyes. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. Mac and Beaver are walking down the hallway, hand in hand. They come to a halt, staring up at a banner advertising the Sadie Hawkins dance. The banner, a pale orange, is illustrated by a twig of blossoming dogwood and reads: "Sponsored by FBLA. Ladies!! Buy your tickets! Don't forget! It's Sadie Hawkins. Spring Fling." Beaver sighs. Mac looks sidelong up at him and laughs. MAC: What are you doing? BEAVER: Um, you know, just standing here, wondering what I've done to make you ashamed of me. It's the age thing, isn't it? You know me and my full blush of youth, and you and your...advancing years. Mac punches him in the shoulder. MAC: I'm standing in the middle of the hallway holding your hand, dorkwad. You don't really want to go to that thing? BEAVER: Well, yeah, I'd like to be asked. MAC: Fine. [coy and girlie] You wanna go to the big dance, Cassidy? BEAVER: Is that so hard? Mac giggles. BEAVER: Yes. And if the dance blows half as much as I'm guessing it will, we can cut out early. Go straight for the good stuff. MAC: Ooh, my. Mac starts to fan herself. BEAVER: I'm talking about Neptune's best pizza quest '06. You, get your mind out of the gutter. Beaver moves on. Mac watches him for a moment, her smile fading into a look of concern before she follows him. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - DAY. Logan's keys fly in the air as he tosses them. He's happy and pleased with himself. Veronica hurries up from behind him. VERONICA: Hey. I need a second. Logan spins round to face her but continues to walk backwards. As soon as she catches up, he turns and keeps walking with Veronica at his side. LOGAN: I'm sorry, I can't be late for my first day. Call the county courthouse, ask for the assistant to the honorary deputy mayor. Have her pencil you in. VERONICA: I need you to do something for me. LOGAN: Veronica. Ask not what Logan can do for you, but what you do for Logan. VERONICA: That's gonna get old real soon. LOGAN: Let me know when that time comes. Until then, you know me: I'll just be speaking softly and carrying a big stick. Logan tosses his keys again. The second time, Veronica intercepts and grabs them, stopping in front of him. LOGAN: [good humouredly] God, you're a pest. VERONICA: Tell me everything you remember about the night Felix was killed. LOGAN: You do know I've been cleared of all charges, right? The whole dead Felix business has lost its intrigue for me, and when something stops being important to me, my memory gets a little fuzzy. Wait...who are you? VERONICA: The murder is still unsolved. LOGAN: And yet, somehow, I sleep like a baby. VERONICA: If Thumper did do it, he's about to get away with killing Felix, framing you, taking over the PCH bike club, and cornering the high school drug trade. We should invite him to speak at FBLA. LOGAN: Follow the bouncing ball: Not. My. Prob-lem. Logan illustrates the path of the ball as he speaks, ending on a ta-da gesture. Veronica holds up his keys in between them but jerks them away again when he goes to grab them. Logan's humour starts to dissipate a little. VERONICA: You don't remember anything about the guy who stopped and helped you? The 9-1-1 caller? Logan thinks for a moment. LOGAN: Mexican dude, driving a truck. Oh, his truck had a bumper sticker. It said "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT"...something. VERONICA: Thanks. Well, run along, Deputy Dawg. She holds up the keys again, snatches them back briefly before throwing them up in the air. She flinches slightly as they fall a little close to her head on the way down before... VERONICA: Go serve your community. ...Logan catches them with both hands. He touches them to his mouth in a farewell gesture and walks past her. He gets a few steps beyond her before swiveling around while still walking. LOGAN: I think it was a, uh, San Diego Seafood truck. Probably know him if I saw him. He heads for his car. INT - WOODY'S OFFICE - DAY. Woody is at his desk and on the phone, not having a good time of it. WOODY: Father Fitzpatrick has blown this way out of proportion. MAN: What do you intend to do about it? WOODY: More law enforcement, for one. MAN: ...property values? WOODY: Property values will bounce back. The man is not appeased and Woody is exasperated. He looks up at a knock on the door. The latest America's Next Top Model contestant enters as Woody's secretary/assistant. BEVERLY: Excuse me. Sir, your intern from Neptune High School's here. Woody gives her an okay sign and gratefully terminates his call. WOODY: I gotta run. Listen, the voters will decide, okay? Gotta go. MAN: Wait! The caller isn't happy but any protest is cut off as Woody puts down the phone. He lets out a long puff of relief. Woody levers himself out of his chair. WOODY: Bev, get some guys from the newspaper over here. Meet with the high school kid, good P.R. Lord knows I can use some. He straightens his jacket and tie. He heads for the outer office which he enters with a huge smile, a smile that freezes when he sees who the student is. Logan is spinning in a chair, his Slacker t-shirt probably the most welcome thing about him. BEVERLY: Mr. Goodman, Logan Echolls. Logan stands and holds out his hand. LOGAN: It's good to meet you, sir. Woody regains his composure and grasps Logan's hand enthusiastically. WOODY: Aaron's son, right? Great essay, powerful stuff. LOGAN: Well, it came from the heart. Woody laughs, then turns to Bev who is already on the phone to the newspapers. WOODY: Cancel that last request I made. She frowns and puts down the phone. WOODY: All right, then. First things first, let's make it official. Bev, you got that bible handy? Bev hands him a bible. WOODY: Your left hand, please. LOGAN: Yes. Logan dramatically places his hand on the bible, immediately snatching it back and shaking it in a show of pain. LOGAN: Ow! Augh, that burns. Woody looks at him, not sure whether to be amused or call a priest. LOGAN: Just kidding. Woody laughs as Logan takes the position, left hand on the bible, right hand raised. WOODY: I, Logan Echolls, do solemnly swear to faithfully execute the office of honorary deputy commissioner of Balboa County, California. LOGAN: I do. Now if you'll excuse me. Logan moves off purposefully for the door of the office. WOODY: Where are you going? LOGAN: I'm going to fire the sheriff. Woody and Bev both laugh. WOODY: Let's save personnel changes 'til after you've warmed up a bit. Now, I'm sure you're aware that I've introduced a bill proposing the incorporation of Neptune. LOGAN: I'm glad you brought it up. I'm backing the plan. In fact, I'm throwing my considerable weight behind it. I say we take it a step further and erect a wall around Neptune proper, keep the riffraff out. You want me to visit some of the local community centers, sell them on it? WOODY: Not quite yet, but I appreciate the offer. For now, we just need this mail separated into pro- and anti-incorporation piles. Bev hands him a large box of mail. LOGAN: Uh, isn't Beverly here a bit more suited to this kind of thing? BEVERLY: I've got a letter opener you can borrow. WOODY: Beats pulling a drive-through shift at Woody's Burgers, right? LOGAN: I wouldn't know. You're the one who's served twenty billion. Logan winks at Woody, who points back at him jovially and disappears into his office. Bev returns to her desk and Logan, disgruntled, drops the box onto a side table. Keith enters the outer office. BEVERLY: Hello. KEITH: I believe Woody's expecting me. BEVERLY: Mm hm. Bev picks up the phone. BEVERLY: Mr. Goodman, your four o'clock is here. Keith spots Logan. KEITH: Logan? Logan turns from his task to observe Keith for a moment. LOGAN: That's Honorary Deputy County Commissioner Echolls to you. Woody shouts out from his office. WOODY: [offscreen] Keith, that you? Come on in. Keith, who hasn't taken his eyes off of Logan, responds humourlessly to Logan. KEITH: Ha ha. Cut to the inner office. Keith is in the visitor's chair. Woody looms over him, perched on his desk. WOODY: [earnestly] Keith. I want you to drop your other cases and focus all your energies toward clearing the greatest Shark to ever put on a uniform. KEITH: Terrence broke into his ex-girlfriend's family home. The journalism teacher who died in the bus crash. That give you pause? WOODY: Not a moment's. KEITH: You know something that makes you so certain? WOODY: I know the quality of his character. There's a brief knock at the door and Logan appears. LOGAN: Um, there's something you gentlemen should probably see. On a computer screen in the outer office, a film is running. It is of Woody's house, starting in the room where Veronica and Gia and the girls partied in 207 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner." LOGAN: Right, this DVD was in the stack of mail. No return address. Logan is seated at the desk with Woody and Keith standing behind him, watching over his shoulder. On the screen, the camera pans across the den, passing a distinctive clock. WOODY: That's inside my house. LOGAN: I figured. Watch. On the computer screen, the camera travels along the wall, passing five pictures of baseball teams and some framed citations before reaching a turn in the wall past which can be seen Woody and Gia at one end of a dining table, eating. The back of Mrs. Goodman's head can also be spotted. GIA: Another exciting day at Neptune High. On the video, Woody asks her a question. GIA: Well, I don't know. I think the school {?}. Woody, bent to watch the video carefully, looks around at Keith. WOODY: Keith. KEITH: Yeah. I'll look into this as well. LOGAN: So I'm guessing this goes in the anti-incorporation pile. Woody nods sagely. EXT - SEAFOOD COMPANY - NIGHT. Veronica and Logan are in the LeBaron, on a stake out. A couple of small trucks are parked outside the company. There is activity inside. LOGAN: So this is staking out, huh? It looks sexier in the movies. VERONICA: Did you hear anything from Hannah? LOGAN: Does deafening silence count? VERONICA: You know, I'm not sure, but I think when they start shipping your girlfriends off you're officially a bad boy. Veronica holds up her hand for a high five. Logan obliges. LOGAN: Her dad and your dad should get together and go bowling. Logan stares ahead. LOGAN: Oh. There he is. The man from the bridge is outside the building, standing by one of the trucks, consulting papers in his hand. Veronica and Logan exit the car. VERONICA: Excuse me? The man looks up as Veronica approaches him. Logan stands slightly back, behind her and smiles. VERONICA: Hi. Um, sorry to bother you. We were hoping to ask you about an incident we think you witnessed last May? On the Coronado bridge? You might remember helping my friend here? Veronica looks back to indicate Logan. LUIS: If there was an incident I would remember it. VERONICA: So your route has to take you across the Coronado bridge. LUIS: You got the wrong guy. VERONICA: This is the guy, right? LOGAN: Yeah, that's the guy. LUIS: You know my schedule, huh? You know where I live? Forty-third and Euclid. I got PCHers riding up and down my street day and night. Now if I was on the bridge that night and if I saw what went down, guy like me, who's got a wife, and a five year-old daughter? Might think he's better off keeping his mouth shut. LOGAN: Covering your own ass has made the last seven months of mine Hell. LUIS: That's one way of lookin' at it. And here's another: if it was me who stopped, chased off the bikers, and called 9-1-1? Then I guess I'd be the guy who saved your life. LOGAN: I was planning on sending a fruit basket from prison. LUIS: A rich, white son of a movie star getting convicted in Neptune? I'd say your future's safe. The man gets into the truck as Logan turns away, smirking sarcastically. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - DAY. As Veronica walks towards the building, Weevil, leaning against his car, waits for her to pass and then joins her. WEEVIL: You find the witness? VERONICA: Yeah. Found out he's as good as no witness at all. Not a big fan of the PCHers. WEEVIL: Yeah. Their popularity's really gone downhill without me. VERONICA: By my count, we got bupkes. WEEVIL: Count again. I got another angle: Molly Fitzpatrick. VERONICA: What's she know? WEEVIL: The Fitzpatricks were using that plastic surgeon to pin Felix's murder on Logan. You know what that says to me? VERONICA: That we need tougher immigration laws? WEEVIL: No. Thumper did the deed; but the orders came from his supplier. My guess, it was a condition of them doing business together. VERONICA: Why kill Felix? WEEVIL: A while back, I found out Felix and Molly had a thing. It got serious, sneakin' around, talking about a lifetime of truckin' their brains out. VERONICA: Golly, Miss Molly. WEEVIL: They were in love. Molly said if her family found out, they'd kill 'em both. VERONICA: Maybe they found out. WEEVIL: Maybe they were told. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. Veronica negotiates the hallway, picking up Mac as a companion. MAC: This serves as a pre-emptive apology for the conversation that's about to take place. Veronica stares at her quizzically. MAC: Okay. And...Beaver and I occasionally, you know, uh, make out. They reach Veronica's locker. Veronica leans back against it. VERONICA: Mmm. I made out once. Back in the day. I think he had me pinned up against a woolly mammoth. Veronica opens her locker and gets her book. MAC: So not that I'm an expert in this sorta stuff, but four months, typical high school boy, there should be some...under the...bra action, no? VERONICA: Let me consult my Idiot's Guide to Wanton Behavior. Basically, you're asking me because I'm the sluttiest person you know? MAC: Um, "slutty" is your word choice. Mine was "worldly." Veronica, having picked up her Algebra book, slams her locker shut and starts up the hallway again. VERONICA: Hm. So four months, and nada? MAC: Hand-holding, kissing. VERONICA: With tongue? MAC: Some tongue. VERONICA: Ass grabbing? MAC: Helped me brush the dog hair off my pants once. VERONICA: Mmm. MAC: So this is bad, right? VERONICA: Not so much bad, as... MAC: It's weird. VERONICA: Out of the ordinary, but not necessarily in a bad way. MAC: Okay, Veronica, I really like him. They pause and Veronica faces Mac. MAC: And we have so much fun together. VERONICA: Then don't sweat it. MAC: Yeah, but it's weird, right? Veronica stays silent but her face says it all. MAC:...Yeah, that's what I thought. Mac spins around and walks away. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - DAY. A yellow toy truck is laid on one of the tables in front of Molly Fitzpatrick. MOLLY: What's this? WEEVIL: It was supposed to be your future, wasn't it? I found it in Felix's shop locker. It must've been you Felix was talking about when he went on about driving a semi, settling down, and shooting out some rugrats. Can't say for sure, 'cause he never mentioned you by name. It's too bad your family put him in the ground, huh? MOLLY: Felix got stabbed on the bridge. Nobody in my family was even there. It was Logan Echolls, or it was a PCHer. Doesn't much matter to me which. Same scum, different wardrobe. WEEVIL: You know that plastic surgeon, Dr. Griffith? MOLLY: Yeah. WEEVIL: Strange, isn't it? That the key witness was some guy under your uncle's thumb? What pisses me off is that I think lovin' you cost Felix his life. Seems to me you never gave a damn about him. MOLLY: I loved him. WEEVIL: [screaming passionately] No, I LOVED HIM! Molly jerks back at the force of Weevil's reply and the students around them freeze and stare. WEEVIL: And you know how you can tell? 'Cause I'm the one who cares enough to keep tryin' to find out who killed him. Molly drops her eyes and gulps as Weevil storms off. INT - NHS, CLASSROOM - DAY. A girl in a tight sweater walks past four appreciative boys. One of the boys puts his arm around one of the others. BOY: Oh my God, look at that girl, Charlie. Did you see that? The girl passes between the desks of Wallace and Jackie. Wallace's reaction is similar to the other boys. JACKIE: Did you just check that girl out? WALLACE: I was admiring her sweater. JACKIE: Her second skin rack-magnifying sweater? WALLACE: I love the fabric. JACKIE: It'd be a good color on me. WALLACE: I got news for you: there's not a bad color for you. I think you should ask her where she got that from. JACKIE: Oh, you think so, huh? WALLACE: Anytime a hot girl wants to wear a tight sweater with a zip down the middle? I'm on board. Behind them, three of the boys are egging on the fourth, Charlie, who is a special needs student. Jackie can hear them and glances back at them. BOY: Talk to her! Ask her, ask her! The boys push Charlie towards Jackie and the girl in the sweater beyond. JACKIE: Hang on a sec, Wallace. Jackie stands and intercepts Charlie. JACKIE: Hi Charlie, I'm Jackie. Would you like to go to the dance with me this weekend? CHARLIE: Uh...yeah. JACKIE: Okay. Jackie casts an icy glance at one of the other boys and returns to her seat. The boy at the receiving end of her glare brings a straw to his mouth, inhaling to launch a spit ball at her. WALLACE: Hey buddy. I wouldn't. The boy takes the straw away from his mouth and holds up his hands in acceptance. INT - WOODY'S OFFICE - DAY. Bored, Logan is in the inner office, lounging in the visitor's chair, his feet on the desk, playing with a baseball. He drops his feet, stands and returns the ball to Woody's desk. He wanders over to a side bureau, random touching objects until he finds one of interest. Keeping a careful eye on the outer office through the blinded window between, Logan examines it. It is a signature stamp which Logan tests on a piece of blank paper. The stamp replicates Woody's signature. Glancing up, Logan spots something that makes him tear the piece of yellow paper off the pad, crumple it and hold it behind him with the stamp, just as Woody arrives at the door, knocking cheerfully. WOODY: Hey there. Bet I know what you need right about now. Come on. Follow me. Woody chuckles and disappears. Paper and stamp still in hand, Logan follows Woody out of the office. INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Woody is in Lamb's makeshift gym, flat on his back on a bench lifting a barbell. WOODY: Mind giving me a spot? Logan watches Woody as he strains with the barbell, ready to grab it should the need arise. WOODY: So, are you excited about the demolition ceremony? LOGAN: Um, nervous, actually. Someone's gonna have to walk me through it step by step. Now, uh, push down, right? Logan makes the movements of pushing down the plunger. Woody laughs and gasps at the same time, struggling with the weight. Logan puts his hands under it as he encourages Woody. LOGAN: Get up. Woody makes a last effort and straightens his shaking arms. He laughs as Logan lifts it into the holder. WOODY: Thank you. Woody gets up and walks around the stored barbell, stopping next to Logan. WOODY: You know, looking at you, reminds me of the good old days, when I was young and ripped. Woody reaches out to Logan's arm, kneading his biceps. WOODY: Betcha have some fun with the ladies, huh? Taken aback by the action and/or the question, Logan considers Woody for a moment. LOGAN: Uh, the ones that survive. Woodys laughs and walks away. Logan hesitates to follow. INT - RIVER STIX - NIGHT. Music: "If I Were a Storm" by the Wild Seeds. LYRICS: If I were your eyes, saw what you'd seen I'd do the same thing that you do to me But I love you, see yours in mine If I were your eyes I'd surely be crying You want a perfect girl, she'd say You won't let me leave it behind Perhaps you'll think of her but me instead What's it going to take to make you change your mind? What's it going to take to make you change your mind? 'Cause if you were lost, as you sometimes are I'd know where to find you, in some hotel bar Molly is behind the bar. She listlessly rolls the yellow toy truck along the bar. Liam and Danny are playing pool. Danny is lining up his shot. LIAM: Molly, get me a beer. Liam walks around the table, watching Danny. LIAM: Okay. Oookay, you ready to lose all that legitimate paycheck? DANNY: If I was you, Liam, I'd save that snot 'til I was behind the eight ball. Danny takes his shot and puts a ball into the corner pocket. DANNY: [gloating] Oooh, damn that's gotta hurt. LIAM: [shouting] Molly! You hear me, girl? Bring me another beer. The hell's wrong with you tonight? Molly walks around from the bar with a bottle and hands it to him. MOLLY: Sorry, Uncle Liam. Just...had a crap day. Danny puts his arm around her. DANNY: Aw. Come tell Cousin Danny all about it. MOLLY: Just pissed off about Logan Echolls. He's supposed to be in jail for murder. What happened with Doctor Griffith's testimony? Why did he lie? LIAM: Since when do you give a rat's ass about Doctor Griffith or some dead biker? Liam's tone is angry and Danny steps away from Molly. MOLLY: Just...Doctor Griffith, I...never trusted him. LIAM: You sure that's it? You sure you're not pinin' over that half-breed cholo? MOLLY: Don't call him that. LIAM: [angry] Why? It's the truth. Don't you dare cry for him. After all the things he said he did to you? You were his whore! He did not care about you! You were just the dumb blonde piece o' tail he shot his mouth off about to all his buddies. How he plugged the good ship Molly-pop. Danny giggles. LIAM: Shut up! Shut your mouth! Danny can't control himself and bursts into laughter. On the bar, the yellow truck is abandoned. End music: "If I Were a Storm" by the Wild Seeds. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. The conversation in the River Stix is being relayed to Veronica's laptop as she and Weevil listen in her room. LIAM: [offscreen] You should be glad he's dead. If your dad wasn't in prison, he'd of done it himself. Cut to a little later. Veronica leads Weevil out of her bedroom. VERONICA: We take this to the sheriff, Thumper might decide he wants to show off his phone video of you dispensing justice. WEEVIL: I'll risk it. It'll be worth it to me. See him go down for killing Felix. Veronica stops but Weevil carries on, walking to and standing by the front door. VERONICA: So after all this, it looks like Felix got himself killed bragging about his sx life. WEEVIL: Thumper made it up, okay? You wanna make a guy like Liam lose his mind. Call a girl in his family... Keith enters the apartment behind Weevil in time to catch.... WEEVIL: ...a whore, say that she'll let you do it any-- Weevil cuts off at the sight of Keith. Veronica stiffens to attention at the look from her father. KEITH: Eli. Veronica. Don't tell me: lab report. VERONICA: History exam. Roman history. Man, that Caligula...whoo. Veronica whistles and Weevil nods at the disbelieving Keith. INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Sacks shows Veronica and Weevil into Lamb's office. SACKS: Sheriff'll be in in a minute. Just running a little bit-- LAMB: [shouting offscreen] Sacks! SACKS: Guess he's here. Lamb strides in, heading straight for his desk. LAMB: [irritated] Someone took my parking space, again. SACKS: Uh, yeah, we got a letter. The new Deputy Commissioner needs it. I guess he's handicapped. Lamb glares as Sacks and then notices Veronica sitting in his visitor's chair, and Weevil sitting in the chair in the corner behind her. LAMB: [to Sacks] You, out. Look up Eli Navarro. There's gotta be something outstanding we can book him on. WEEVIL: Well, if I did it, it's outstanding. Lamb walks back around to the front of his desk and sits on it. LAMB: Still pickin' winners, huh Veronica? He accompanies this with a sarcastic thumb's up. VERONICA: I told you: when I start picking losers, it's all you. We were just in the neighborhood, thought we'd drop by, solve a murder case for you. LAMB: Well, bonus points for bringing the perp along. Weevil snorts. LAMB: So who's the deceased? VERONICA: Eduardo Orozco killed Felix. LAMB: Thumper. Lamb rests his chin on his hand and simpers. LAMB: But he's got such a cute nickname. WEEVIL: He's dealing on campus for the Fitzpatricks now. Veronica reaches down and pulls out a tape player. VERONICA: Here's proof that they're working together. Liam Fitzpatrick practically confesses to orchestrating Felix's death on this tape. Veronica plays the tape. LIAM: ...how he plugged the good ship Molly-pop. You should be glad he's dead. If your dad wasn't in prison, he'd a done it himself. Veronica switches it off. LAMB: Imagine how helpful that recording would be if was obtained legally. Not to mention an actual confession. Veronica holds out her hand, flat with the player resting on it. VERONICA: Note the absence of a silver platter. This was more to steer you in the right direction than to, say, do your job for you. Actually, it was doing your job for you. Getting admissible evidence seems like the least you can do. She puts the player on his desk and slides it towards him. He slides it back towards her. LAMB: There's less I can do. Trust me. Lamb, smug, gets up and heads back around his desk. Veronica looks shocked at his apathy whereas Weevils seems resigned and shakes his head. Cut to moments later as they exit into the main area. WEEVIL: You know, an 09er could come in here with tea leaves and a ouija board and they'd send out a SWAT team. It's time for Plan B. VERONICA: Not just yet, Dirty Harry. WEEVIL: In case you haven't noticed, I ain't no mick cop. VERONICA: Uh...okay. Dirty Sanchez? Just give me a few more hours, there's a woman I can talk to, and luck might be a lady tonight. WEEVIL: Patience ain't one of my virtues, Veronica. Weevil storms off. Veronica watches him for a moment and then goes in the opposite direction. INT - WOODY'S OFFICE - NIGHT. Keith knocks on the open door. WOODY: You got something for me already, huh? KEITH: I might. I need to get your input. Keith joins Woody at his desk, slipping the DVD into Woody's computer. It plays again. KEITH: So you'll notice here when the camera passes by your living room window that it's dark outside. WOODY: Okay. Keith runs it forward a little and then pauses it. KEITH: And then here, our mystery videographer happened to get a shot of your clock. It was approximately 5:30 in the evening. WOODY: All right. So what does that mean? KEITH: It means that this video had to be shot in November or December, when the days were short, long before you went public with the incorporation initiative. WOODY: Hmm. KEITH: I think we've been barking up the wrong tree. And I guess my next question is, got another tree? Woody laughs. KEITH: Can you think of another reason someone might have for wanting to rattle you? Woody stand and sighs. WOODY: Let me think about this. He stuffs his cigar into his mouth. WOODY: I'll get back to you. KEITH: Take your time. Sometimes these things aren't easy to recall. Keith retrieves the DVD. Music: "Lost Art" by Mere Mortals. LYRICS: Thoughts so heavy, slouch like royalty You joke-we smoke On the night of a new sensation You sold out to the daydream nation You breathe in and you hold it hard Baby, you're a lost art Ride your wagon Paint your dragons blue Stick the glue Can't you see me INT - NHS, AUDITORIUM - NIGHT. The Sadie Hawkins dance is on. Couples fill the dancefloor. Jackie is standing behind and watching Veronica, next to the sign displaying Veronica's services: "Spring Fling $5 Dance Photo. Sponsored by FBLA." She looks around and sees Charlie with his mother. They spot her and Jackie waves. CHARLIE'S MOM: It's really sweet of you to do this. JACKIE: It's my pleasure. Jackie takes Charlie's arm and heads for Veronica. JACKIE: Veronica, uh, this is my friend Charlie and, uh, his mom. VERONICA: Hey. Hey Charlie, how'd you snag the sexiest girl in school? CHARLIE: She asked me and I said yes. VERONICA: Ah. Well, we always want the bad boys. Okay, say "cheeky monkey." JACKIE: Cheeky monkey. Charlie and Jackie smile as Veronica trains the camera on them. Elsewhere at the dance, Logan and Gia are manning the entrance table. A couple arrive. GIA: Hi, welcome to the Sadie Hawkins Spring Fling. Enjoy! Gina takes the money. LOGAN: Don't worry, gang, if she's a two at ten, she'll be a ten at two. Logan grins and hands them their tickets. GIA: This is cool, huh? It would've been cooler to have, like, a date, but, actually, I'm kind of proud of myself that I came alone. It's kinda huge for me, don't you think? It's like I'm evolving. Hi! Logan stares off into the distance, not enjoying the company of his companion. End music: "Lost Art" by Mere Mortals. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT - ST. MARY'S CHURCH - NIGHT. Thumper pulls up outside the church, parking in front of a large white minibus. He walks along the minibus, looking over at the church. As he gets to the end, a hand shoots out from behind it, holding a cloth and covers Thumper's mouth and nose. Thumper struggles as he is pulled back behind the minibus and goes down. The light of a passing car shines on the back window of the bus. There are two small boys watching what is happening outside. The mugger is Weevil. He searches the unconscious Thumper and pulls out a bag. He checks inside and smiles in satisfaction. WEEVIL: Enjoy confession. Weevil turns and walks away. INT - NHS, AUDITORIUM - NIGHT. Back at the dance, Beaver and Mac are dancing. BEAVER: All the crepe paper in the world cannot turn this gym into a garden paradise. MAC: Hey, I'm having a moment here. Use your imagination. Also on the floor is Wallace and Jane. JANE: I'm seventeen years old and my mom decides that last night was the perfect opportunity to give me the sx talk. Wallace's attention is not on Jane. It's on Jackie, dancing and laughing with Charlie. JANE: Wallace? WALLACE: Yeah, uh, my lecture was one word: don't. They laugh. Back at the entrance, Logan is staying sane by counting the cash. GIA: So my dad likes having you at work. He says you've got potential. I think that was the word. LOGAN: Well "potential" was the word, but "underachiever" is the sentiment. GIA: Ha ha. The demolition ceremony's gonna be fun. Are you nervous? What if you push the plunger and nothing happens? LOGAN: You mean like if there were total silence? Let's try to imagine it. Veronica passes behind them, picking up on Logan's irritation. She shrugs it off and takes a picture of the dancing couples. Jackie and Charlie are interrupted by the arrival of Charlie's mother. CHARLIE'S MOM: I'm so sorry, it's time to get Charlie home. Come on, Charlie, it's time to say goodnight. CHARLIE: Goodnight. JACKIE: Goodnight, Charlie. Jackie gives Charlie a kiss on the cheek. His mother takes his hand and pulls him away and out of the dance. After a moment's hesitation, Jackie follows them out. Still dancing with Jane, Wallace notices her going. WALLACE: I'm getting thirsty. You want something to drink? JANE: Sure. WALLACE: All right. Jane turns and heads back to their wall spot. Wallace sighs and follows Jackie. EXT - NHS - NIGHT. Wallace runs to catch up with Jackie. WALLACE: Jackie! Wait up! Hey. You all right? JACKIE: Yeah. I'm fine, why? WALLACE: Well, you blew out of there so fast, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. JACKIE: Wow, that was really sweet of you to-- Wallace grabs her by the back of the neck and kisses her. She pulls away. JACKIE: Easy, boy, don't you have a date? I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. WALLACE: So are you saying you don't have feelings for me? JACKIE: Wallace, the girl you're trying to make me right now is the girl that I'm trying really hard not to be. So...knock it off. Jackie turns and walks away. Wallace wipes his mouth as he watches her go. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - NIGHT. Wallace makes his way back to the auditorium only to meet Jane storming past him in the opposite direction. JANE: I'm riding home with Kate. WALLACE: Hold up. What are you-- JANE: You were kissing her! Kate saw you. Jane sets off again. WALLACE: Jane, wait. Please? She turns back to him. WALLACE: Look, I'm sorry. I was messed up. JANE: She's always around you, always hanging on you. You couldn't resist? WALLACE: It was a weak moment. I'm so sorry. Really. Jane hesitates. Wallace holds out his hands. Jane softens and gives in, taking his hands. They go back into the dance. EXT - NHS - NIGHT. Music: "Sway" by the Perishers. LYRICS: I talk to you as to a friend I hope that's what you've come to be It feels as though we've made amends Like we found a way eventually It was you who picked the pieces up When I was a broken soul And then glued me back together Returned to me what others stole I don't wanna hurt you I don't wanna make you sway Like I know I've done before I will not do it anymore I've always been a dreamer I've had my head among the clouds Now that I'm coming down Won't you be my solid ground? I look at you and see a friend I hope that's what you wanna be Are we back now where it all began? Have you finally forgiven me? You gathered my dreams in When they all blew away... Beaver and Mac have left the dance and are walking towards the car park. BEAVER: That was positively sucktastic. MAC: Well, the night is still young. We could always go back to your place. No parents to worry about. BEAVER: Yeah, Dick's there. MAC: So? Dick's always there. BEAVER: Yeah, it's just, you know, I-I don't feel like dealin' with him tonight. Mac puts a hand on his arm to bring him to a stop. MAC: Well, if we stay in your room, then we won't have to deal with him. Beaver is clearly unenthusiastic. Mac smiles nervously and then leans forward to kiss him. At his lack of response, she puts her arms around his shoulders and hugs him. Realising her efforts are getting nowhere, she pulls back and puts a smile on her face. MAC: Of course, we still have eight stops left on Pizza Quest '06. BEAVER: I-It's just...you know, if...with Dick there... Beaver walks on. Mac gazes at his back, upset. She eventually follows. INT - NHS, AUDITORIUM - CONTINUING. "Sway" is still playing in the auditorium. Gia is in full flow. GIA: For a friendship to work, you have to be completely honest, which is something I have absolutely no problem with. But you...you run from the truth. LOGAN: Only when it's chasin' me. GIA: Do you know what I think? Logan looks up to the heavens. GIA: I think you use sarcasm and anger as a way to keep people from getting too close to you. LOGAN: You know, I do. But it doesn't always work. Veronica has arrived at the desk with her photo money. She immediately picks up on Logan's hostility and sarcasm to which Gia is blind. GIA: Tell me what you think about me. Seriously. Be completely honest. Veronica watches as Logan prepares to let rip. Logan does a hand flourish and takes a deep breath but before he can get a word out, Veronica grabs his arm and his hand. VERONICA: Dance with me. Logan lets her pull him off the chair. LOGAN: Oh. Gia is disappointed. Logan follows Veronica into the thick of the dancers. Veronica stops and turns to face him. LOGAN: When I dreamed of this moment, "I've Had the Time of My Life" was always playing. Well, what can you do. Veronica is not so confident now, looking uncomfortable as he looks down at her. She pulls his hand to her waist, an action that gets his attention, and puts her arms around his neck, looking to want to be anywhere but where she is. They start to dance slowly. LYRICS: ...And then tricked them back into me You saved me I was almost dead Veronica glances up at him and then quickly away as he looks down at her. Neither are sure where to look but increasing gaze at each other, uncomfortable and yet drawn by the heat between them. LYRICS: I don't wanna hurt you I don't wanna make you sway Like I know I've done before I will not do it anymore I've always been a dreamer I've had my head among the clouds Now that I'm coming down Won't you be my solid ground? End music: "Sway" by the Perishers. INT - RIVER STIX - NIGHT. Thumper is facing Liam Fitzpatrick and a couple of his boys. THUMPER: [desperately] I was goin' into Saint Mary's to make the drop. Next thing I knew, somebody grabbed me and I was out. When I woke up, the cash was gone. Thumper is backing away from Liam who is creeping closer to him. LIAM: That baby face looks real pretty for someone who got jumped. So what, you get hit in the head? THUMPER: No, some kind of a... LIAM: Used the Vulcan death grip? A door closes as Danny comes in, holding a paper bag. DANNY: Hey, Liam. Take a look what I found behind the little bunny's gas tank. Danny throws the bag to Liam. Liam opens it and pulls out cash. LIAM: Hm hm. Well would ya look at that. He looks at Thumper who is sweating profusely. Thumper's eyes dart around the room. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. Jackie is walking down the hallway. She slows when she sees Jane ahead, walking in the opposite direction. They pass but Jane slows and turns. JANE: You know Jackie. Jackie stops and turns to face her. JANE: I used to think everyone was wrong about you. Jane walks away. Jackie bears it with a sigh. INT - PUBLIC TOILET - DAY. Liam and Danny have handcuffed Thumper to a urinal. THUMPER: It's Weevil, I'm telling you, man! He set me up! He musta found out about the church somehow. DANNY: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, Thumper. Danny beats his chest. DANNY: Rrrr! You gotta man up! THUMPER: You'll get yours. Both of you! And I got something on you-- Whatever that might be is swallowed when Liam stuffs a rag in Thumper's mouth. Danny laughs heartily as Liam quickly secures the rag with a piece of duct tape. LIAM: Oh, duct tape. Is there anything it ain't good for? Liam and Danny leave as a klaxon sounds. Thumper tries to free himself to no avail. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS - DAY. Keith is at his desk, typing on his laptop. There's a knock on his door. Woody enters. WOODY: Good news, Keith. You can take that stalker video off your plate. Turns out it was my gardener. Rather, my former gardener. KEITH: How'd you figure it out? WOODY: He confessed. Crisis of conscience, I guess. My wife fired him a few months back for killing the hydrangeas. My wife is...tough. Woody chuckles, as does Keith. WOODY: Gardener's not a bad guy, I promised him I'd get the DVD back. He wants it destroyed. KEITH: You seem pretty understanding about all this. WOODY: Well... KEITH: So that's it then? WOODY: I got bigger fish. I guess you'd be out of business if they all went this way, huh? So Keith, you got that DVD? Keith lets him hang a moment. KEITH: Oh, sure. Keith pulls the DVD out of his desk, holds it up and rises to walk Woody out of his office, handing him the disc. Veronica is working at her desk in the outer office. WOODY: Thanks. Now you can get back to important business like clearing Terrence's name. KEITH: Right. They shake hands. WOODY: Thanks, Keith. Veronica. Such a good kid, comin' in on your lunch period and helping your dad. (Note: The Mars Investigations clock is wrong, showing the time of 15:25. Cock up or clue?) WOODY: Bye everybody! KEITH: See you, Woody. Keith watches him go, a thoughtful look on his face. He grabs the knob of his office door, starting to close it. KEITH: Can you hold my calls for a while? Back in his office, Keith returns to his computer. He has a file "Woody Living Room," which he clicks on. He has a copy of the DVD. He watches it carefully. Back in the outer office, Veronica looks up at the sound of a voice. LUIS: Okay, you win. Smart move, talkin' to my wife. INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Veronica and Luis are in Lamb's office. LAMB: Just so I've got this straight, you saw one PCHer stab another PCHer, then put the knife in the Echolls kid's hand? LUIS: Yeah. That's what I saw. LAMB: Could you identify the guy if you saw him again? LUIS: I couldn't make out faces. But the one that did the stabbing took off on a red motorcycle with some kind of black spider on the side. LAMB: I know the bike. Lamb leans forward and presses the intercom button on his phone. LAMB: Sacks, issue a warrant for Eduardo "Thumper" Orozco. I want him tracked down now. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA Wallace is sitting at a table by himself staring at Jackie who is sitting at another table, also by herself. Jane joins him. She follows his line of sight. JANE: She brings it on herself. She'd have friends if she didn't act like she's the most important person wherever she is. WALLACE: Jane, Jackie didn't kiss me last night. I kissed her. JANE: Well, she must've been coming on to you. WALLACE: She wasn't. I just kissed her. Outta nowhere. I'm sorry. I don't wanna hurt you, but, I gotta be honest. I still have feelings for her. Jane, who glances back at Jackie, looks devastated. Cut to moments later. Jackie looks up as she senses Wallace standing by her table. WALLACE: I broke up with Jane. So...are you gonna ask me to sit down? JACKIE: No. Wallace is a little pissed. JACKIE: You can't sit here, Wallace. Do you not see that? WALLACE: Why not? I'm free now. You know I like you. There's nothing stopping us. JACKIE: If you sit here, it proves that I'm the man-eating bitch who snatched you from one of the sweetest girls in school. I won't have that. Now go. Wallace takes a breath to argue. JACKIE: Please, Wallace. Leave. Wallace walks away. Things aren't going much better for Mac and Beaver, sitting on the low wall around the flagpole. Mac screws up her resolve, pulling her tray off her lap before tackling her concerns. MAC: Is it me? BEAVER: No, it's the tater tots. MAC: Are you not attracted to me? BEAVER: Wait, what? MAC: Why don't you wanna...you know, like...do stuff? Beaver is not comfortable. BEAVER: Can we please not talk about this here? MAC: We have to talk about it sometime. I get nervous too. Like when we're just hanging out, it's totally comfortable and cool, but then it feels like there's all this pressure, and...I don't know what I'm doing either. BEAVER: Look, I know what I'm doing. MAC: I'm not saying you don't. BEAVER: Well, yeah, uh, it sounded like you were. MAC: I'm saying I don't. So if-if you don't either, or, or you feel nervous, or... BEAVER: We have to stop talking about this. MAC: Veronica says all guys move at different speeds, and that this could just be- BEAVER: Wait, you talked to Veronica about me? MAC: No, I mean-- BEAVER: [urgently] What did you say to her? MAC: Nothing. It was more about me, I just, I wanted to make sure that I wasn't doing something wrong. BEAVER: Well, you weren't. But you are now. Beaver stands and looks down at her. BEAVER: Good luck getting laid. He walks off, leaving her heartbroken. Music: "Gravity/Falling Down Again" by Alejandro Escovedo. LYRICS: You pay your money Take your chances Wheels spinning going round and round No angels hanging from the ceiling can save you No, no, Saint Jude can't pull you out Falling down again Pay a little girl Falling down again Don't ask me if it hurts INT - SHARK FIELD STADIUM - DAY. The foreman is in the bowels of the building, checking with a flashlight. He finds a red motorcycle with a black spider on the side chained up. He studies it for a moment, then rushes out. EXT - SHARK FIELD STADIUM - DAY. With the stadium in the background, Woody is on a small stage, shaking hands with a man. All those on the stage, including the man, Woody, Logan and Gia are wearing hard hats. In front of the stage is a small set of tiered benches accommodating the guests. Woody and the man are being photographed. PHOTOGRAPHER: Mr. Mayor, over here. The foreman mounts the stage from the stadium side and taps Woody on the back. FOREMAN: Hey, Woody? Woody? WOODY: Yeah. Woody excuses himself. WOODY: Will you pardon me? Woody and the foreman move off a little. FOREMAN: There's a motorcycle chained up inside the stadium. It's gonna get turned into dust. WOODY: Is everyone out? FOREMAN: We've blown the horn a-a dozen times, I had the boys do a walkthrough. WOODY: How long would it take to unlock it and get it out of there? FOREMAN: Uh, twenty, thirty minutes? WOODY: Then someone's losin' a motorcycle. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - DAY. Veronica is watching Woody address the cameras from the Shark Field Demolition Ceremony on 5 Action News. WOODY: This field has been a long and storied history. VERONICA: Dad! WOODY: ...always remember where we were when the Sharks... VERONICA: Hurry up, they're about to blow up Shark Field! Keith comes out of his bedroom and sits on the arm of the armchair that Veronica is occupying. They watch intently. WOODY: ...in a nine-game victory before a packed house of fifty thousand fans. EXT - SHARK FIELD STADIUM - DAY. Logan tips his hard hat, smirking for the cameras. He looks over his shoulder at the stadium. The man Woody was shaking hands with is right behind him. Logan puts his hands on the plunger and pushes. INT - PUBLIC TOILET - CONTINUING. Thumper, still pulling at the handcuffs freezes as he hears the sounds of explosions. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. On the TV, the stadium implodes, falling in on itself, burying everything (and everyone) in it under tons of rubble. Veronica and Keith enjoy the spectacle. INT - CONFESSIONAL. WEEVIL: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been a long, long time since my last confession. The camera pulls back through the confessional screen, the face of the listening priest in shadow. End.	Plan: A: Weevil; Q: Who believes that the Fitzpatricks ordered Felix's murder? A: Veronica; Q: Who convinces Sheriff Lamb to tell the truth about what he saw on the bridge? A: Thumper; Q: Who did Weevil believe killed Felix? A: Woody; Q: Who asks Keith to investigate a video of his home? A: his own home; Q: Where did Woody receive a video of the inside of? A: his controversial incorporation plan; Q: What did Woody announce months before the video was filmed? A: the stalker; Q: Who did Woody ask Keith to stop searching for? A: the real caller; Q: Who did Veronica and Logan contact from the bridge? A: Sheriff Lamb; Q: Who does Veronica convince the caller to tell about what he saw on the bridge? A: Molly Fitzpatrick; Q: Who did Felix have a relationship with? Summary: Weevil, Veronica and Logan try to prove that Thumper killed Felix. Woody receives a video of the inside of his own home, and asks Keith to investigate. When they discover it was filmed months before Woody announced his controversial incorporation plan, he asks Keith to stop searching for the stalker. Veronica and Logan contact the real caller from the bridge, and Veronica convinces him to tell Sheriff Lamb what he saw on the bridge. Weevil believes that the Fitzpatricks ordered Felix's murder because they found out about his relationship with Molly Fitzpatrick, and that Thumper was the one who killed him.
Scene: The apartment. Penny: Okay, it's done. Look, guys, for the future, I don't mind killing the big spiders, but you have to at least try with the little ones. Sheldon: Penny, please, we're facing a far more serious problem than stray arachnids. Leonard: Sheldon, it's not that bad. Sheldon: Not bad? It's horrible. I mean, you hear stories about this sort of thing, but you never think it'll happen to you. Leonard: So they steamed your dumplings, get over it. New topic, please. Howard: All right, Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today. Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard. Howard: So, there is a number. Penny: Okay, new topic, please. Hey, did you hear the people upstairs in 5A are moving out? Leonard: Shh-shh-shh! Sheldon: What? Penny: The people upstairs are moving out. Leonard: No! Sheldon: The horror! Leonard: Why would you just say something like that? Sheldon: No, no, no, no, no, no, no... Penny: How else was I supposed to say it? Leonard: Slowly, like putting a new fish in a tank. You don't just drop it in, you let the bag sit in the water a while. Sheldon: The horror! Penny: Sheldon, I'm sure it's going to be fine. Sheldon: No, it's not going to be fine, change is never fine. They say it is, but it's not. Penny: Okay, honey, did you even know the people that are moving out? Sheldon: I never met them. That's what made them perfect, there were no awkward hellos in the halls, there was no clickety-clacking of high heel shoes on hardwood floors, they may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape without that annoying ammonia urine smell. Penny: Well, I'm sure the new people will be just as quiet. Sheldon: You can't know that. How can you possibly know that? Penny: You're right, I can't. You know what? Anyone could rent that apartment now, an opera singer, the cast of stomp, yeah, a tap-dancing pirate with a wooden leg. Leonard: Why are you making it worse? Penny: I tried making it better, he wouldn't go for it. Howard (after Raj whispers to him): You're right, that's a great idea. Leonard: What? Howard: I'll take the apartment upstairs. I can finally get away from my mother, and we can all spend some more time together, if you catch my drift. Penny: The horror! Credits sequence. Scene: Outside Howard's house. Sheldon: Hold on. You honestly expect me to believe that social protocol dictates we break our backs helping Wolowitz move, and then he only need buy us a pizza? Leonard: I'm sorry, that really is how it works. Sheldon: You're tricking me. You tell me the truth, what do we get? Leonard: Raj, help me out here. Raj: You get to choose between a mountain bike or a PS3. Sheldon: I knew it! PS3, definitely PS3, who would pick a mountain bike? Howard (voice from inside): Enough with the guilt, ma, we'll still see each other. I'll come over every night and have dinner with you. Howard's Mother (voice): The hell you will! What am I running here, a fancy restaurant? Does this look like Olive Garden? Howard (voice): Okay, I get it, you're angry. You don't want to see your little bird leave the nest. Howard's Mother (voice): Little bird? You're almost 30, fly, for god's sake! Howard (voice): Fine, I'll stay! You happy, crazy lady? I sure as hell hope so, because you're ruining my life! Leonard (into phone): Hey, Penny, it's Leonard. Good news, you can take your head out of the oven. Sheldon (removing hernia support): I guess I won't be needing this. Scene: The lobby, there are boxes everywhere and removal men are carrying them up the stairs. Sheldon: Oh, no, the new ones, they're here. Leonard: Stay calm, we don't know anything about them yet. What are you doing? Sheldon: I'm checking for musical instruments. Does that sound like castanets to you? Leonard: The box says kitchen. Sheldon: So? Do cocaine smugglers write cocaine on the box? Blonde girl (arriving): Hello? Leonard: Hello. Sheldon: Hello. Blonde Girl: Hello. Leonard: Hello. Sheldon: Hello. Blonde Girl: I'm Alicia. I'm moving in upstairs. Leonard: That is so great. Oh, I'm Leonard, I live downstairs. Upstairs from here, but under you. Not under you per se, but under your apartment. Alicia: That's nice. Leonard: Yeah, it is. Sheldon: If that concludes your faltering attempt to mate, hello. Alicia: Hello. Sheldon: Hello. On a scale of one to ten how light of foot would you describe yourself with one being not cat-like at all and ten being freakishly feline? Alicia: Freakishly feline? Sheldon: Is that your answer or do you not understand the question? We'll come back to that one. Leonard: Sheldon... Sheldon: Hang on. Are you now or have you ever been a salsa, Irish folk or break-dancer? Alicia: No. Leonard: You're making her uncomfortable. Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Well, if it helps you feel any better you're doing very well so far. Next question, are you fertile? Alicia: What?! Sheldon: I'm trying to determine whether crying infants above my head are a possibility. Alicia: I have no immediate plans. Sheldon: If that changes, let me know. And finally, area rugs, pro or con? Alicia: Pro? Sheldon: Alicia? Alicia: Yes? Sheldon: Welcome to the building. Scene: The stairs Alicia:Thanks so much for helping me, Leonard. Leonard: Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to help. Penny (exiting apartment): Oh, hey, guys. Leonard: Hey, Penny. this is Alicia, our new neighbour. Penny: Hi. Alicia: Hi. Leonard: I'm helping. Penny: I can see. Sheldon: Alicia's non-musical, childless and pro-rug. She's still on probation, of course, but I like her. Alicia: Cool t-shirt. Penny: Oh, yeah, I don't usually dress like this. I'm going jogging. Sheldon: You don't jog. Penny: I can start. Sheldon: True, but the more likely explanation for your attire is that you're out of clean clothes again. Penny: Thank you, Sheldon. Sheldon: You're welcome, Penny. Alicia: Please, you look cute. I'm dressed like a slob today, too. Leonard: I think you look fantastic. Alicia: This one's a player, huh? Penny: Oh, yeah, be careful. Alicia: Thanks for the warning. Penny: Okay. Alicia: I'll see you around. Penny: See ya. I'm dressed like a slob today, too. Sheldon: Oh, mimicry. I enjoy mimicry. I've been working on Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi. "It's a trap." You have to imagine me with a giant squid head. "It's a trap. It's a trap. It's a trap." Scene: The apartment. Sheldon is writing on an imaginary board. There is a knock on the door. Sheldon: Come. Penny (entering): Hey. Sheldon: Congratulations, I see you did your laundry. Penny: Well, sort of. Sheldon: How does one sort of... Penny: I bought new clothes, okay? Is Leonard around? Sheldon: He's upstairs at Alicia's. Penny: Oh. all right, that's cool, no biggie. He said he'd help me set up my printer, but I guess I can wait. What exactly is he doing up there? Sheldon: In what I can only perceive as a tactical move to destroy me, he is with Wolowitz and Koothrappali setting up her stereo. Penny: Oh, they're all up there, huh? Hmm, typical. Sheldon: It's axiomatically atypical. Up until recently, they did not know Alicia, and had no encounters with her in a previous location. They never went upstairs to visit the former tenants, so your characterization of their behaviour as typical Is demonstrably fallacious. Penny: Okay, now I see the giant squid head. (Leaves) Sheldon: Oh, great! now, I have to start all over again. (Rubs out imaginary workings) Scene: Alicia's apartment. Howard: Yeah, I thought about renting this apartment, but I'm really more of a downtown loft kind of guy. Alicia: Cool. so are you in a loft now? Howard: Oh, actually I'm, uh, living with a woman in Altadena. Purely platonic, she's also my maid. Alicia: Sounds like a sweet deal. Howard: I won't lie, it's pretty dope. Penny (arriving): Hello? Alicia: Oh, hey. Penny: Hey, I just wanted to bring you a little housewarming gift. Alicia: That is so sweet. Come on in, let's open it. Penny: Great. Alicia: Nice dress. Penny: Oh, this? I'm dressed like a slob today. Alicia: The guys have been helping me set up my sound system. I've never had such good-looking technical support. Howard: Oh, pish-posh. (Raj whispers to him) I don't know, it means shucks. (Raj whispers again) Shucks means shucks. Let one go once in a while. Leonard: Hey, uh, penny, you want to hear something awesome? Penny: Yeah. Leonard: Alicia is an actress, just like you. Penny: That is so awesome. Alicia: Well, trying to be, but it's so hard. Penny: Yeah, I know, tell me about it. Alicia: I've been out here three months, and all I've gotten is a couple of national commercials and this recurring thing on a soap. Penny: That's why I work at the Cheesecake Factory, I'm holding out for the right part. Leonard: Alicia, what do you want as your default setting for DVDs, 5.1 Dolby or DTS? Alicia: Whatever you think is best, cutie. Leonard: Well, DTS has more low end, so... okay. Penny: Uh, hey, guys, guys, you will really appreciate this, I read the best science joke on the internet. Alicia, you won't get it, but it's right up their alley. Anyway, so, this physicist goes into an ice cream parlour every week and orders an ice cream sundae for himself, and then offers one to the empty stool sitting next to him. This goes on for a while until the owner finally asks him what he's doing. The man says, "well, I'm a physicist, and quantum mechanics teaches us that it is possible for the matter above this stool to spontaneously turn into a beautiful woman who might accept my offer and fall in love with me." The owner then says, "well, lots of single, beautiful women come in here every day, why don't you buy an ice cream for one of them, and they might fall in love with you?" And the physicist says, "yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?" Leonard: It's a little insulting, don't you think? Penny: How would I know? I'm not even sure I get it. Alicia: Hey, Leonard? If you're done with the DVD player, can you set up my printer? Leonard: Uh, yeah, I'd love to. Penny: Uh, hey, maybe when you're done with her printer, you could set up mine. You know, like you promised a week ago. Leonard: Yeah, I'll get to it, don't nag me. Raj (drinking some wine): Hello there [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: The apartment. Penny walks in without knocking and collapses on the sofa. Sheldon: Who is it? Oh hello, Penny, it's open, come in. Sarcasm. Penny: Well, they're all still up there. Sheldon: You think I can't hear them? Listen to that. Stomp, stomp, stomp. That's Wolowitz in his stacked heels that fool no one. Penny: I don't even know why I care. I don't care. All right, I cared enough to memorize that stupid joke, but that's all I care. Sheldon: You know, Penny, there's something that occurs in beehives you might find interesting. Occasionally, a new queen will arrive while the old queen is still in power. When this happens, the old queen must either locate to a new hive or engage in a battle to the death until only one queen remains. Penny: What are you saying, that I'm threatened by Alicia? That I'm like the old queen of the hive and it's just time for me to go? Sheldon: I'm just talking about bees. They're on the discovery channel. What are you talking about? Penny: Bees. Aaah! I just got that physicist joke. Scene: The apartment. Leonard: Gee, Penny, thanks for buying us dinner. Howard: Yeah, what's the occasion? Penny: No, no occasion, just felt like getting some Chinese chow for my peeps. Sheldon: Did you remember to ask for the chicken with broccoli to be diced, not shredded? Penny: Yes. Sheldon: Even though the menu description specifies shredded? Penny: Yes. Sheldon: Brown rice, not white? Penny: Yes. Sheldon: You stop at the Korean grocery and get the good hot mustard? Penny: Yes. Sheldon: Did you pick up the low-sodium soy sauce from the market? Penny: Yes Sheldon: Good. See how it's done, Leonard? Penny: So, what do we got going on tonight, huh? Playing Halo watching Battlestar, drop some mentos in diet coke? Leonard: You want to watch Battlestar? Penny: What can I say? I got my geek on, boys. Howard (after Raj whispers to him): No, no, PMS is different. (There is a knock on the door. Leonard answers it.) Alicia: Oh, thank God you're home. I need help. Leonard: What's wrong? Alicia: I just got a callback to audition for CSI to play a hooker who gets killed. Leonard: Oh, I'd watch that. Alicia: But my car is in the shop, and I have to be at Universal in forty-five minutes. Leonard: Okay, well, I'll take you. Alicia: Oh, you're a lifesaver. Howard: I'll run lines with you in the car. Alicia: Great. And afterward, I'll take you all out for Chinese. Penny: Oh, actually, that's okay. we already have... Howard: Yum. Starving. Penny: ...chinese food right here. Sheldon: They're gone, Penny. They can't hear you. Penny: I cannot believe they're letting her just use them like that. I mean, anything she wants, they go panting after her like trained dogs. You know that just last week, she had Howard drive all the way to her uncle's house in Orange County to pick up her TV? Sheldon: You once had Leonard and me get your television from your ex-boyfriend. Penny: Apples and oranges here, Sheldon. I'm telling you, that girl is a user, iceskating through the life on her looks, taking advantage of innocent weak-willed men, getting auditions for stupid network shows. It creams my corn. Sheldon: May I interject something here? Penny: Please. Sheldon: You got the wrong mustard. Scene: The laundry room. Alicia: Hi. Penny: Alicia: Guess what? I got the part on CSI. Penny: Oh boy. Alicia: Something wrong? Penny: Uh, no. No, no, no, you know, congratulations, I think you'll make a great hooker. Alicia: Thank you. Hey, I got to ask you something, how much do physicists make? Penny: Um, I don't know, I don't think a lot. Alicia: Yeah, that's what I figured. Well, got to run, the guys promised to set up my satellite dish and paint my bedroom. Yay! Penny: Um, hey, hey, can I talk to you about that for a second? Alicia: About what? Penny: Well, you know, it's just that Leonard and Howard and Raj, they aren't like other guys. They're special. Alicia: Okay, they're special, and? Penny: Oh, let's see, how can I explain this, um, they don't know how to use their shields. Alicia: Shields? Penny: Yeah, you know, like in Star Trek, when you're in battle and you raise the shields? Where the hell did that come from? Anyways, um, you know how guys like this are, so, please don't take advantage of them. Alicia: Who says I'm taking advantage of them? Penny: Come on, they're doing everything for you, because you're leading them on. Alicia: So I let them do stuff for me. They're happy. I get stuff. Who cares? And how's it any different from what you do? Penny: Excuse me? Alicia: I've seen you around them. Are you pretending like you don't do the exact same thing? Penny: Okay, lady, you are way out of line. Alicia: Oh, I'm out of line? Penny: Yeah, you're out of line. Alicia: Well, what are you going to do about it, bitch? Scene: Outside the building. Raj: I like green lantern, I'm just saying it's pretty lame that He can be defeated by the colour yellow. Sheldon: Only the modern green lantern is vulnerable to yellow. Leonard: Golden age green lantern was vulnerable to wood. Raj: Great, so I can take them both out with a number-two pencil? Howard: Oh, my God! Girl fight! (He grabs Leonard) Leonard: What are you doing? Howard: I know you. you're stupid enough to break it up. Scene: The apartment. Penny has a black eye. Howard: May I say you look very comely tonight? Penny: Thank you. Howard: You're right, this filly's been broken. Sheldon (as music comes down through ceiling): You set it on DTS, didn't you? Leonard: I had to, she called me cutie. Howard: According to Alicia's facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI. Penny: Well, dead whore on TV, live one in real life. Sheldon: Oh, great now she's jumping up and down on the bed.	Plan: A: The former tenants; Q: Who moved out of the apartment above Leonard and Sheldon's? A: an unsuccessful attempt; Q: How did Howard try to rent the apartment above Leonard and Sheldon's? A: Alicia; Q: Who is the attractive blonde who moves into the apartment above Leonard and Sheldon? A: an aspiring actress; Q: What is Alicia's profession? A: a dead hooker; Q: What role does Alicia obtain on CSI? A: the TV series; Q: What is CSI? A: the guys; Q: Who is fascinated by Alicia? A: the guys' attention; Q: What does Penny lose when Alicia takes advantage of them? A: her friends; Q: Who does Penny try to win back by bribing them with Chinese food? A: Battlestar Galactica; Q: What show does Penny offer to watch with the guys to win them back? A: a quantum physics joke; Q: What did Penny try to memorize to win back her friends? A: the men; Q: Who does Alicia brag about exploiting? A: their incomes; Q: What does Alicia want from the guys? A: the fight; Q: What event caused Penny to be injured? A: one; Q: How many producers of CSI is Alicia sleeping with? A: real life; Q: What does Penny say Alicia is a dead whore on TV, but a live one in what? Summary: The former tenants of the apartment above Leonard and Sheldon's move out. After an unsuccessful attempt by Howard to rent the apartment, an attractive blonde named Alicia moves in. Alicia, like Penny, is an aspiring actress; she obtains a role as a dead hooker in an episode of the TV series CSI. Apart from Sheldon the guys are fascinated by Alicia, and she takes advantage of this by having them help her move in and otherwise labor for her. Penny thus loses the guys' attention, and begins to resent the way Alicia exploits them. Penny tries to win her friends back by bribing them with Chinese food, offering to watch Battlestar Galactica with them, and even memorizing a quantum physics joke. After Alicia brags about her exploitation of the men, while also desiring their incomes, Penny confronts her. Alicia responds that Penny exploits the men just as she does, upon which Penny physically attacks her. After the fight, the guys take an injured Penny back to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment and learn that Alicia is sleeping with one of the CSI producers, leading Penny to comment that Alicia is a "dead whore on TV, live one in real life".
Ted's class Ted: And so, due to one architectural oversight, the Toledo Bridge Disaster of 1906 claimed the lives of 75 people. Now, I hate to stop while I'm on a roll, but happy Halloween, ya crazies! (class cheering) Student #1: Hey, Professor Brosby, you gonna come get beers with us later? Ted: Nah, I got a thing. But you kids have fun trick or treating. This is a treat. Student #2: You're the coolest, Professor Mosby. Well, hot dog. (class laughs) At the GNB halloween party Lily: Did it hurt? Ted: What? Lily: Getting that kid's nose surgically removed from your ass. Ted: It's not her nose that's in my ass, Lily, it's her heart. My class loves me; I-I'm really making an impression on those guys. I'd like to make impression on those guys. Barney: Man, I love the office Halloween party. It is so much sluttier than the office Christmas party. Though not as freaky as the office President's Day Rave. Or the office Tu B'Shvat Pajama Jammy-Jam. Randy: Hey, guys. Marshall: Hey, Randy. Uh, you want a beer? Randy: Oh, no, thank you. I brew my own. At the risk of bragging, my Hazelnut Pilsner won fourth prize at the Weehawken Retirement Home Clam Bake and Wheelchair Maintenance Picnic. Barney: I wouldn't consider any part of that bragging. Randy: Hey, it just occurred to me, is your friend, what's her name? Garbin, Flabin... Ted: Robin? Randy: Robin. That's it, yeah. Is she gonna be here? Oh, not that I really care. Lily: Robin has another party to go to. Randy: No! Damn it! I'm leaving. Lily: But she might stop by later. Randy: I guess I can hang out a little longer. So, anyone going to see the Halloween parade? Ted from 2030: Oh, we were big fans of New York's annual Halloween parade. I don't mean the one that takes place Halloween night in the Village. I mean the one that takes place the morning of November 1st, the Annual Post Halloween Walk of Shame Parade. On the porch of Ted's appartment Marshall: Look at them heading home after their dirty, filthy hookups. Barney: (shudders) Looks like that bee got busy. Ted: Looks like that French maid didn't turn down somebody's bed. Marshall: Oh, looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees. Ted: Come on, Marshall. Barney: That's a line. Marshall: No, it's because of the... Ted: We get it. Barney: Does it get any better than this? Ted: Uh, yes. (Robin arrives) Yes, it does. Robin: Crap. [OPENING CREDITS] The Bar: Barney: There she is Florence Night-In-Bed-With-A-Stranger. Lily: So, who's the lucky patient? Robin: I don't want to talk about it. Ted: Please tell me you're not hooking up with one of your co-anchors again. Robin: My co-anchor's a woman. Barney: Please tell me you are hooking up with one of your co-anchors again. (laughing) Ted from 2030: Robin had always believed that the key to success was intelligence, hard work and professionalism. Her new co-anchor Becky had a different philosophy. [FLASHBACK] (techno music playing) Becky: Boats! Boats! Boats! Announcer: It's the Farhampton Boat Show! Remember 5th, 6th and 7th at the Farhampton Civic Center. Come on down. Becky: B-B-B-Boats! Robin: You did a commercial? Becky: Why not? Robin: You're a journalist! Don't you want to be taken seriously? Becky: No. I'm cute. Robin: Okay, well, if you really think this is going to help your image. Mike: Hi, Becky. Boats, boats, boats! Robin, a little help here? [END OF FLASHBACK] Ted: Robin, you gotta not worry so much about being liked. Robin: Oh, easy for you to say. Everybody loves you at your job. Ted from 2030: That was true of my teaching job. But I was also designing the new headquarters for Goliath National Bank, and well... Zoey: Ted Mosby, we don't like you! What do you have to say for yourself, tearing down a beautiful, old building just to put up a stupid band headquarters? Ted: Hmm... Boo... freakin'... hoo. Zoey: Boo freakin' hoo? That's it? The Arcadian is an architecturally significant... Ted: Architecturally significant?! Zoey, you're very pretty. Your hair smells great. Zoey: Shampoo. You should try it sometime. Ted: You don't know the first thing about architecture. Zoey: Key - Ted Mosby's car. Go on. Ted: I'm a professor, okay? I teach this stuff at one of the best colleges in the country. I don't go down to your place of non-employment and lecture you about how your little protest is a misguided waste of time, except whoops, I just did. Ha-burn. Zoey: Oh, good, the eggs are here. Ted: Well, I should head up. Ted from 2030: No, GNB was not popular. That's why every year they produced a feel-good video to improve the bank's image. The GNB Headquarters GNB announcer: What makes Goliath National Bank different from other big banks? Here at GNB, we care. Barney: I care about our precious Earth. Randy: I care about old people. Man: I care about high-yield offshore investments. And so does Tugboat here. Isn't that right, Tugboat? Marshall: Yeah. Okay, get that camera out of my face before I flip you like a cheese omelet. Barney: All you have to do is say "I care about making dreams come true." Marshall: First of all, that line makes me sound like a hooker and saying it makes me feel like a hooker, so. Barney: Everyone is in this video. Randy's in the video. Randy: I don't want to brag, but in 29 takes, I only threw up thrice. Marshall: Wait. Randy, did you send the Hermanson contracts downtown? Randy: I did. I sent them downtown. Why are you saying it like that? Marshall: They never arrived at the downtown office. Randy: They... Well, just to make sure we're on the same page is "send them downtown" not an expression for shredding a document? Marshall: You shredded them?! Randy: Yeah. I sent them downtown. You know, down into the shredder. You-you feed the paper in a downwards fashion, so that's where the expression comes from. Marshall: That's not an expression! That has never been an expression! Randy: Okay, I can fix this. I am all over this project. Barney: I'll say this: There is no quit in that guy. You should fire him. Marshall: Okay, that, that right there. That attitude is exactly why I won't be in your video. Because GNB doesn't care. They hand out pink slips like they're hors d'oevres. Just last week, I was talking to Arthur... [FLASHBACK] Arthur: Oh, whoa, you're wearing a green tie now. I'm wearing a green tie. (elevator bell dings) [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: GNB treats people like they're disposable, and I will not be a part of that. Marshall Eriksen does not fire people, period. Randy: Uh, just want you to know, we are making good progress on this new project. (phone rings) Oh, you gentlemen keep talking, I will answer that. Marshall Eriksen's office. [...] Yeah, I can get that for you. [...] Just a second. Uh... bank. The "B" stands for bank. Okay, Mother, I'll see you tonight. Oh, yikes. I'd better get Mr. Messy a napkin. (loud clattering) Marshall: Period. The Bar Lily: Just tell me who you slept with! Robin: Lily, I don't want to get into it, okay? Lily: Aha, it's someone we know. If it was some ding dong we didn't know, you'd just give me his name. Robin: Fine. It's Bill Pepper. Lily: Bill Pepper? Mm-hmm. Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin? It's someone we know! Ted's class Ted: So, I'm assuming you all read the chapters on the Greek Revival architecture. Any questions? Zoey: Yes. How do you sleep at night? Ted: What are you doing here? Zoey: It was recently made clear to me that I don't know the first thing about architecture, so here I am. Ted: Very well, then, let's get started. (clears throat) Some examples of Greek Revival architecture... Zoey: Ooh! Ooh! Is The Arcadian Greek Revival? Ted: No. Student: What's The Arcadian? Zoey: Oh, it's just this beautiful, old building that Professor Mosby wants to tear down. Student: What?! No, Professor Mosby loves old buildings. He wouldn't do that. Right, Ted? Ted: Getting back to Greek Revival... The bar Ted: I lost them. Lily: Look, you're new at teaching. In my kindergarten class, I have had plenty of troublesome students. Like Johnny Marley... [FLASHBACK] (boy shouting playfully) Lily: Johnny? Johnny! [END OF FLASHBACK] Lily: He and that little stuffed horsey raised all kinds of hell. But I have a simple method for shutting down troublemakers. You know that '98 Taurus that's always parked outside? The one with the really annoying alarm? (Robin and T'ed both mimick a long, complex car alarm blaring) Ted: We're familiar with it. Lily: Well, when a kid like Johnny acts up in my class... [FLASHBACK] (kids laughing and shouting playfully, when Lily starts mimicking a long, complex car alarm blaring) [END OF FLASHBACK] Lily: Shuts them right up. Ted: Lily, my students are adults, and I treat them that way. I'll just give them more candy and make them a mix CD. Problem solved. Lily: Oh, baby, what's wrong? Marshall: Something bad happened. [FLASHBACK] (knocking) Marshall: Randy, hey, have you seen the... Randy: Before you get to that, regarding the earlier project I was working on... Voilà! Marshall: That's the Hermanson contract? Randy: The Hermanson contract? Oh, man, this is the Filbert contract. Damn it! No... (He shredds the file once again) Anyway, what's your thing? Marshall: I need the Filbert contract! Randy: Well, I'll do what I can. But in my experience, twice shredded is fairly permanent. Marshall: Sorry, Randy, but... this just isn't working out. [END OF FLASHBACK] Barney: Marshall popped his cherry! Oh! Come on, Marshall, you have to admit, the guy was a disaster. I mean, it reflected badly on the company. He was an embarrassment. A huge embarrassment. (pounds table) Lily: You slept with Randy! Robin: What?! Lily: Why, it's elementary, my dear Scherbatson. [FLASHBACK] Lily: Your co-host is getting super-popular because of her stupid commercial, "Boats! Boats! Boats!" So, when you arrived at the GNB party after we left, you were feeling vulnerable and drunk. Then, from across the not-so-crowded conference room, your eyes met. And as we all remember... Randy has a unique condition. Robin: Yeah, your nose is bleeding like a faucet. Randy: Oh, God, this happens every time I get an erection. I am so sorry. [END OF FLASHBACK] Robin: That's...exactly what happened. Barney: See, Marshall, if getting fired is an execution, at least the guy had a last meal. I promise you, tomorrow you'll feel a lot better. Randy's office Marshall: Randy, hey, what's going on? Randy: I just wanted to say no hard feelings. Marshall: Thank you. So where you headed now? Randy: Downtown. (Randy jumps into the shredder, Marshall wakes up) Marshall: No!! Lily: It's okay, baby. Ted from 2030: It wasn't okay. So the next morning... [SCENE_BREAK] Marshall's boss' office Marshall: Arthur, I'm here because I made a mistake. I fired Randy yesterday. Arthur: That was a mistake. You should have fired him a year ago. Marshall: No, sir, that is what's wrong with this company. How can we say "GNB Cares," and then turn around and treat someone like that? I mean, sure, he made a few mistakes but everybody makes mistakes. Like, like Tugboat here. Aw. I bet you he's made some mistakes. And you didn't fire Tugboat, did you? Arthur: No, I got him fixed, and he calmed down. Marshall: Exactly-- kind of. Randy doesn't need to be fired. He needs to be fixed. Arthur: Marshall, we do some pretty bad things around here, but I... Marshall: No, sir, I'm saying instead of getting rid of someone when they screw up, we should... we should help them. We should nurture them. Arthur: I changed the ice pack on his crotch every hour for three days. Wow, Eriksen, if you want to un-fire Randy, I support you, because to come in here and say what you just said, well, you've got a couple things that Tugboat doesn't. Ted's class (angry shouting) Ted: Guys, Prof Rock is a really good mix, okay? Student: A piece of New York history is being torn down, and all you could say was "Boo freakin' hoo"? Ted: Boo... freakin'... Zoey: I may have mentioned our conversation over a session of hacky sack. Ted: The one day I miss the sack circle, you guys sub her in? Zoey: Why'd you miss? Too busy tearing down the Statue of Liberty? Ted: No. I was returning a hot dog costume that you all enjoyed. (angry shouting) Ted from 2030: They were all turning against me, so I figured, what the hell. (the shouting continues; Ted starts mimicking a long, complex car alarm blaring) The Bar Lily: And did it work? Ted: Like gangbusters. We're buddies again. After class, we hacked a little sack to the thumpin' strains of my Prof Rock CD. And no, none of them had heard the Pixies B-side. Actually, none of them had heard of the Pixies. Or a B-side. Randy: Hey, guys. Barney: Uh-oh. I know that smile. Lily, there's no easy way to say this. Marshall's dead. Randy murdered him. Lily: No. I know why Randy is smiling. You're smiling because of Robin. Randy: Robin? Like how I think about her when I'm in the shower? Ted: I'm trying to eat here, buddy. Lily: No. Because you slept with her on Halloween. Randy: What? No. I went home, had a shower an-and went to bed. Lily: You didn't sleep with her? Randy: No. Even in the shower, the farthest we ever get is hugging. Lily: So why are you smiling? Randy: I'll tell you why. [FLASHBACK] Marshall: This just isn't working out. Randy, thinking: I'm fired. Great. This is the candle kiosk at the mall all over again. Wait a minute. I can get a severance check. If I don't shred it, I can use that money to start my own brewery. Imagine a beer with my name on it. Randy Wharmpiss, this is the best day of your life. [END OF FLASHBACK] Randy: Thanks to that severance check, this time next year, you'll all be enjoying a frothy mug of Wharmpiss. Marshall: Randy, great news! You're not fired! Randy, wailing: No...! Ted's class (Ted enters an empty room) Ted: Good morning, everybody... Where's my class? Next to the Arcadian (angry shouting) Zoey: Hello, Professor. Ha-boom. Marshall's office Marshall: I got you your job back, Randy. I thought that you'd be happy. Randy: But I don't belong here. I'm born to be a brewer! A... a hopsmeister! Marshall: Well, then quit. No one's stopping you. Randy: I-I can't. I need my severance check. Marshall: Well, I'm sorry Randy, but that's called fraud. Randy: It's not fraud. I'm just asking you to get me a lot of money to not work here and not tell anyone about it. Marshall: Even if I wanted to fire you, after my talk with Arthur... Randy: Oh, come on, Arthur can't remember that. Arthur, entering the room: Marshall, what a memorable talk we had yesterday. Randy, on behalf of everyone at GNB, both in and out of prison, we're sorry. And I want to assure you you will never be fired again. You're going to work here until you die, huh? Green tie? (clears throat) Nice choice. Randy: Thanks. It brings out my eyes. Arthur: Yeah. I'll bring out your eyes. Marshall: Listen, Randy, I'm sorry, but I broke my own moral code once and I felt evil. I will not let GNB change me. I will never fire anyone again ever. Randy: Oh, we'll see about that. Barney: Anyhoo, while I got you-- big smile. "We care about making dreams come true," in three, two... Randy: No! Marshall: What are you doing? Randy: Oh, are you unhappy with my performance? Well, I guess I'm fired, then. I'd better turn in my I.D. Marshall: No, it's actually, um, nice having some of this clutter off my desk. So thank you, Randy. Randy: And there's more. Marshall: I don't know what I'm going to use this for, but it's great stuff. Randy: Now am I fired? Marshall: I've been meaning to clean out that file cabinet for ages. Barney: I'm not even here. Randy, the coffee. Marshall: Oh! Okay. Okay. Thank you, Randy. I've been meaning to cut back on my caffeine. Barney: Here, try this, but really go for it. Remember, this guy ruined your life. Marshall: That's just the pick-me-up I needed. Barney: Speaking of pickups, can we try the first one again? Lily's class (her phone starts ringing) Lily: Hello. Ted: It didn't work. They hate me. How do I get them to like me again? Lily: You don't. Ted, you're their teacher. The only people that like their teachers... Ted: I like my teachers. Lily:...are dorks. Except for you, Miles. Ted, you just have to learn to embrace their hatred. Because behind that hatred lies fear. And you can use use that fear, like I did with Johnny Marley. Ted: Was there more to that story? Lily: A little bit. [FLASHBACK] (The boy wakes up from his nap and find the head of his stuffed animal next to him; he starts screaming) [END OF FLASHBACK] Ted: Lily, you're a psychopath. Lily: A little bit. Oh, a panda! Ted's class Ted from 2030: I thought about Lily's advice. And I figured fear was worth a try. Zoey: Well, Professor Mosby, is there anything you want to say to us? Ted: Anyone not in class tomorrow gets an "F." The Bar Lily: You said that? Ted: Well, technically, they'd get an incomplete, but I thought "F" had a nice, scary ring to it. Right? Lily: Yeah. Robin: Hey, guys. Lily: Robin, who'd you sleep with? Robin: I told you-- Randy. He was a machine. Lily: Where's the poop, Robin? Robin: Fine. I didn't sleep with anyone. The thing is, ever since Becky did that commercial, everyone at work loves her. So, the day after Halloween, I was in a commercial. Ted: What... Why didn't you tell us? [FLASHBACK] Announcer: Bladder trouble; it's embarrassing, it's uncomfortable, and it can affect anyone. Robin: I'm going to the bathroom right now. Announcer: Neat and discreet adult diapers for anyone. Robin: Say... "Ah..." [END OF FLASHBACK] (Ted laughing) Ted: Wow! I can't wait to see it. Robin: Well, hopefully you never will. They said that they might not even use it. Ted from 2030: It ran for seven years. Marshall's office Randy: Okay, you win. Maybe trashing your office was a mistake. It's just, uh, as long as I can remember, making beer has been my dream. Wharmpiss? I know it sounds dumb to someone who's already achieved his dream, big-time lawyer at a huge corporation. Marshall: You think working here is my dream? Randy: Of course. Anyways, I'll clean this stuff up. Have someone get that dead squirrel out of your desk. Marshall: Randy. This is delicious. You're fired. Ted from 2030: Kids, the next morning, my class had the highest attendance it had ever had. And not long after that, Randy used his severance money to start a little brewery. Now you can have a Wharmpiss at every bar in America. And all because... Marshall: I care about making dreams come true. You got what you need? Barney: Yep. That's a wrap.	Plan: A: Zoey; Q: Who sits in at Ted's class and gets his students on her side of the fight to save the hotel? A: the new GNB headquarters; Q: What is the hotel being torn down for? A: Barney; Q: Who is the third person to see Robin in a Halloween parade? A: Randy; Q: Who is Marshall's assistant? A: people; Q: What does Marshall have problems with how GNB treats? Summary: Zoey sits in at Ted's class and gets his students on her side of the fight to save the hotel being torn down for the new GNB headquarters. Ted, Marshall and Barney see Robin in a Halloween "parade". Marshall has problems with his assistant Randy and how GNB treats people.
Amy: Previously on "Heartland"... Why am I the only one who has to give up everything?! I have given up just as much in this relationship and you know it! Peter: We can't go on like this. Lou: No, we can't. Peter and I have had terrible fights, but never anything like this. I just wanna talk to him about it. He says we'll talk when he gets back, but I don't think I can wait that long. I think this is the type of conversation that you should have in person. I need to go to Vancouver. Tim: Shane writes, "you'll never believe this. Mom's getting married, dot, dot, dot... This Saturday - in capitals - exclamation mark! Ty: I'm gonna visit my mom. I wanna help her stay clean this time. Amy: I still wanna come with you. Ty: I want you to come too, but I gotta think about what's best for my mom. (Insects buzz, car rumbles) Limo driver: Excuse me, miss? I'm sorry. Pardon me? Limo driver: Where are we turning off? Stay on the highway till we get to foothills pass, then head east. (Car rumbles) 'Kay, you ready? Caleb: Let's see what this bad boy can do. (Gate clanks open, horse whinnies) Tim: That's it?! C'mon. Seriously? Bring him in, Bo. There's not enough buck in that horse. Jack: Looks like you got a live one there. Tim: Pathetic. Now that's a bit harsh. Tim: Be good for a trail horse. I need a gentle horse with a little buck. Well, that's tough to find. Tim: You're telling me. Caleb: Look, I gotta get going. I was supposed to meet Jesse an hour ago. Tim: Yeah, we're done here anyway. Jack: So how's Shane? You called him, right? Yeah, we had a chat. Jack: And? Tim: And what? Well, is he okay with Miranda's wedding or not? Tim: I... I... was just reading into things. (Tim grunts) He's fine. Um, so I'm good. Jack: You're not planning on doing something stupid are you? Tim: What do you mean? Jack: I don't know. Like driving to moose jaw and making a fool of yourself. I said Shane's fine with it. Yeah... What about you? Amy: Okay... Georgie: don't put that there. What? Why? Georgie: Because I need to keep the parts from the telescope separate from the parts on the mount. Amy: Okay. Georgie: It's hard enough setting this thing up. (Door opens) Georgie: They're here! Katie: Aw. It's just G.G. Jack: Oh, I'm so sorry to disappoint you. Georgie: (Sighs) Lou and Peter should be back by now. What's all this? There's a lunar eclipse tomorrow night. Georgie: Yeah, I borrowed a telescope from school. Jack: Well, it looks pretty complicated. Georgie: Yeah. Peter can help me set it up. We're gonna watch it from the barn loft. Amy: Hey, guys, a car just pulled in. Georgie: They're home! (Screen door opens, Amy giggles) (Car door opens and shuts) Lou: Oh my God! I missed you guys! Georgie: Hi, mom! Come here! Look at you. (Gasps) And you! Have you been eating growing beans again? Have you? Look at you. Georgie: Uh, where-where's Peter? Lou: Oh, honey, he had to stay in Vancouver. What? He said he would be here. He promised. Lou: I know. Something came up at work, okay? I'm really sorry, Georgie. (Sighs) Jack: Good to see you, Lou. Glad you're back. Lou: So happy to see you. Yeah... S08E15 ♪ And at the break of day you sank into your dream ♪ ♪ You dreamer ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪ ♪ You dreamer... ♪ You dreamer... Lou: So is dad coming tonight? Amy: No, he called to say he can't make it. Jack: Oh, Tim's turning down a free meal? What's going on there? Amy: I don't know. Something about having to plan something for the next couple days. Probably has to do with his rodeo school. Jack: Hmm... Oh, Lou, no offense to your stew, grandpa, but it's good to have you back. Lou: Well, it is good to be back. Not that Vancouver wasn't fun. It was... great. You know we had walks on the seawall, picnics on the beach. We even drove up to Whistler. It was a nice vacation, but... this is home. Georgie: What came up at Peter's work? You know, I'm not too sure, honey, but it sounded... pretty important. Well, will he be back for the eclipse tomorrow? I don't think so, sweetie. Well, then how am I supposed to set up my telescope? Jack: I'll help you, Georgie. Lou: There you go! You know how to set up an equatorial mount? Well, no, but how hard can it be? Have you picked out a wedding venue? Not yet. Oh, Amy... Ty and I have been really busy, okay? Okay. Well, how about a wedding dress? Amy: (Sighs) Lou: You do realize that your wedding is about a month away. I know, I know. And Lisa has been on my case since you left. Apparently not enough. But it's good thing I am back to crack the whip. Um, by the way, where's Ty? Amy: He's visiting his mom. Lou: What? How could he just leave at such an important time? Lily's back in rehab, Lou. Oh... I'm so sorry. Um... well, you know what? I'm back now and I am gonna make your wedding... my first priority. I'm gonna dig out my files so we can go over possible venues first thing in the morning. I don't really wanna spend my whole day looking at pictures of other peoples' weddings. Well, don't worry, we won't. Because we're trying on wedding dresses after lunch. Amy: (Laughs) Hey, Lou... Do you wanna tell me what's really going on? With Peter - why he isn't here? I told you, something came up at work. So is he gonna keep traveling back and forth to Vancouver? That's where his job is. I know, but I thought that's the whole reason you went, so that you could talk about making changes. Lou: Yeah, we talked, Amy. We talked until we were blue in the face. And? Lou: And I feel like we finally have a plan moving forward. Amy: Well, that's great to hear. What exactly does that mean? Katie: Mommy! I can't find my bunny. I'll be right there, sweetie. I should probably go get her in the bath. (Diners chatter) Waitress: Hi! Tim: Hey! There's my girl. Lou: Hey! Amy: Your girls, actually. Tim: Sorry, I just haven't seen this one for a while. I was beginning to think you weren't coming back. You were gonna trade your boots for birkenstocks. Lou: Thank you for taking care of the diner for me while I was gone. Tim: Well, I gotta be honest with you, honey. It wasn't easy doing both, you know, with my new rodeo school. Hey, I heard about that. That sounds right up your alley. Tim: Yeah, I gotta tell you all about it, but... I really have to run. Lou: Okay. So what do you need to catch me up on here? Tim: Nothing! Oh, the sink, it's clogged. Did you call a plumber? Tim: That's a good idea. Oh, and the uh... the walk-in freezer, it's on the fritz. The fan or something like that. Lou: Since when? Tim: A few days. Lou: A few days?! Tim: Yeah. Uh... oh! And-and... We uh... we lost a server. (Sighs) What did you do? Tim: Apparently some people can't take constructive criticism. Gotta run. (Kisses girls) Tim: Bye-bye. Lou: Nice to see you too, dad. (Door clunks) This is... sticking. Amy: Well, looks like you've got a few things to catch up on here. Later. First... we need to find a place for you to get married. (Amy's phone rings) I... should take this, Lou. It's Ty. Go ahead. (Phone beeps) Hey! (Diners chatter) Amy: Uh... no, I'm. I'm actually at the diner with Lou right now. (Diners chatter, music plays in the background) (Woman laughs, diners chatter) Lou: Peter? Why didn't you tell me you work for Bedford Oil? Peter: We never talked about work. And, by the way, um... I don't actually, technically, work for them. Um... I own Bedford. Lou: You own Bedford Oil. Yeah. I guess that makes me the big bad wolf, right? Lou: Peter, you are a very attractive man, okay? Very... very attractive, but you stand for things that make my blood boil... Peter: I just thought it would keep interesting, right? I mean... Lou: It could never work. (Kissing) (Receding footsteps, diner music fades in) Amy: All right, I'm back on it. Even Ty thinks I should start taking this wedding stuff seriously. You okay? Yeah. I'm fine. Um... You know, you still haven't told me what decisions you and Peter made- Nice try. You are not steering me off course here. We need to make a short list of venues and start contacting them to ask about availability, okay? I'm thinking the higher end hotels, Westgate Mansion, the polo club, obviously. But first, we need to talk about the pros and cons of each one... Starting with seating capacity 'cause I know you still don't know how many people are coming, which is okay, but we do need to sort of narrow it down a little bit. (Banging on trailer) Tim: Get up! Hey! (Bangs on door, door clicks open) Sorry to wake you at the crack of ten. What do you want? I still need a horse for my school. What does that have to do with me? I want you to find it for me. Yeah, I have a full plate with my so-called "silent" partner, so find your own horse. Tim: No, no, no. (Door bangs open) I can't. See, I'm going outta town. I'm gonna be gone for a couple of days. Then I got full classes when I get back, so... Caleb: Well, it sounds to me... You're in a bit of a tight spot. Yeah. Yeah, I know, it's gonna cost me. How much? Well, it depends on... How long it takes, how many horses I have to see, how far I have to go... Tim: Okay, here's the deal. Two grand. You can keep whatever you don't spend. Caleb: Three. Tim: Two. Caleb: Twenty-five. (Amused sigh) Two. This isn't really how you're supposed to negotiate. That's 'cause we're not negotiating, Caleb. This is a take it or leave it sort of thing. (Sighs) Fine, I'll do it. Tim: Great. See, that's how you negotiate. (Laughs) Jack: Okay, I got that. What's next? Georgie: Okay... now you need to take the counterweight, which is that. Jack: Yup. And you just slide it onto the counterweight shaft. Okay. And you just need to make sure... (weight thumps, Jack groans in pain) That you tighten it! Georgie: (Annoyed) Is it okay? Jack: Yeah, it landed on my baby toe, it's fine. (Screen door opens) Georgie: I meant the telescope. (Screen door snaps shut) Yes, the telescope is fine. Lou: I just don't know how you can completely rule it out. I mean, do you know how lucky we are that the polo club is even available at such short notice? Amy: Lou, come on. Do you really think we wanna get married in some stuffy country club? Stuffy? Look, the polo club was rated one of the top ten places to hold an event in alberta. Amy: Okay, says who? Lou: I don't remember. Look, Amy, let's just put a hold on it while we explore other options. Lou, can I just take a break from all of this wedding stuff for a bit? Yes. Look, I have some laundry to do, we'll get back at it over lunch. Hi, you two. Wow, looking good. (Chuckles dryly) It's going that well, is it? Amy: We've made just about as much progress as it looks like you guys have. Jack: (Chuckles dryly) (Blanket rustles) (Pats blanket) (Birds chirp) (Nervous sigh) Peter... Lou Flemming, will you marry me? Peter! Not gonna answer? Literally, you know, my legs are gonna go to sleep here. Yes! Yes, I will marry you. (Birds chirp outside) (Screen door creaks open) Amy: Caleb! Hello. Caleb: I need you to do me a solid. Amy: A solid? Caleb: A favour. Okay. Your dad asked me to find him a horse. Amy: What kind of horse? Caleb: It's for his rodeo school. It's gotta be gentle, but a little bucky. I figure you've come across a ton of those in your clinics. Yeah, except I usually train them not to buck. Surely there must be one or two that not even you could fix. Amy: Um... Actually, there was this one not too long ago that came a long way, but he's still a tough horse to ride. Caleb: That's great. I mean, for us. Would your client sell him? I don't know. She's got young kids so he's definitely ideal for her. Call her. Tell her to meet us at the rodeo grounds with the horse. Amy: What, like now? I don't have a lot of spare time. Why are you finding this horse in the first place? Shouldn't my dad be doing it? He's out of town for a couple days. Amy: Where is he? Caleb: I don't know. Jack: I bet I do. He's driving to Moose Jaw. Grandpa what is going on? Miranda's getting married. Amy: What? When? Jack: Tonight. Looks like your dad's gone to crash the wedding. Amy: Well, why would he do that? Jack: I don't know, but I'm gonna stop him before he gets there. When did he leave? Caleb: Not sure, but it couldn't have been that long. Amy: He already has a good head start. Ah, Tim's a creature of habit. He always stops at that greasy spoon just off the saskatchewan border. The Plowman's Special, that'll slow him down. Good luck. (Door closes) (Amy clucks her tongue, people chatter) Caleb: You really think he'll buck? He seems pretty calm. Amy: He gets pretty fired up when you mount him and I'm curious to see how he'll do with a flank strap. (Caleb's phone rings, Caleb sighs heavily) I gotta take this. (Phone beeps on) Hey, Jesse, what's up? Now? No, no. I'm-I'm looking at a horse for Tim Fleming. (Sighs) Okay. Yeah, I'll be right there. Amy: What? Caleb: I gotta go. Amy: Caleb, we just got here. You can't take off. I asked my client to bring her horse here at a moment's notice. Caleb: Can you get started without me? Seriously? I'm sorry, Amy, Jesse needs my opinions on some thoroughbreds. It shouldn't take long. I'm supposed to be planning my wedding right now with Lou. Caleb: Then you owe me for getting you out of it for an hour. Amy: Just hurry up, okay. Caleb: Thanks, Amy. Lou: (Humming happily) (Kisses Georgie, continues humming happily) Georgie: What is up with you? Believe it or not, I was able to put a hold on the polo club. But I thought Amy said she didn't wanna have her wedding there. Lou: Amy doesn't know what she wants. Besides, at this late date, it's amazing it's even available. Well, it just doesn't sound like Ty and Amy's kind of place. Have you ever even been there? Georgie: Well no, but... Lou: Okay, well... take a look... at this. See how elegant it is? If I hadn't snapped up that date somebody else would have. Is planning a wedding always this crazy? (Snorts softly) Peter: I want you to come with me. Lou: To Dubai? Peter: Yeah. Lou: But we're not getting married until... Like it's months away. Well, I just think we have to move that up a little bit. Uh... to when? Mm... I dunno, now? (Door slams shut) Lou?! Come on, honey! I thought you understood! Of course we have to move to Dubai. Lou: don't talk to me! (Sighs heavily) Dubai? I put a lot of work into this place. I wonder what it'll be like when I'm not here to run it. Look, honey, you don't have to... Lou: No, I... I've thought about it and... I can pull it together. I'm determined to make it work. You... are an amazing woman. I know. Georgie: The polo club's okay, I guess. No, it's not. What? Lou: It doesn't feel like Ty and Amy. Georgie: Well, that's what I said. Lou: You were right. I'm not bringing my 'a' game here. I can do better. Somewhere out there is the perfect place to hold this wedding. It's classy, but not stuffy; contemporary, but a hint of tradition. You know, laid back but still has a pulse. Maybe you should take a break, Lou. Oh no, no, no. I am just getting started. (Keyboard keys clack) (Truck rumbles) What the hell? Oh... (Truck rumbles to a halt) (Door bangs shut) Jack: How was lunch? What the hell are you doing? Jack: I came here to ask you that very same question. I'm still worried about Shane, all right? See, this is why I didn't tell you I was going because I knew you'd read into it. Jack: Read into it how? Like maybe I'd think that the real reason you're going to Moose Jaw is so you can screw up Miranda's wedding? Tim: (Huffs) That's not true. Jack: Well, then what do you plan on saying to her then? Tim: I don't-who-who says I'm saying anything? Well, I have to say congratulations. Well, that's a message you can deliver through Western Union. Or I could send a text, like the rest of us in the twenty-first century. But that's a little impersonal, don't you think? You are not going to wish her a good life, anymore than you're going for Shane's sake. Now you tell me, what's the real issue here? The real issue here, Jack, is that I have a father-in-law who won't keep his nose outta my business. Who I've had to deal with for 30-years... 30-years of BS! (Truck doors open, Tim's door closes) (Engine knocks, Jack blasts his horn) What?! It won't start. (Truck door bangs shut) (Tim's door bangs shut) (sighs) (Katie sighs) Lou: (Giggles) Mommy's just trying to figure out what's the best plan for Amy and Ty's wedding, sweetie. What's a plan, mommy? (Door snaps shut) Peter! Hey! There she is! Whoa! Oh! You okay? Is the baby okay? Lou: Absolutely. Peter: I gotta make sure that I am here when it does happen. What is that supposed to mean? I'm not going back to Dubai. I'm gonna stay here, make this home base. You're gonna work from here? Peter: Yeah. 'Til the end of the pregnancy anyway. Just until the pregnancy's over? Well, I... maybe I could stick around 'til we send 'im to college or something. [SCENE_BREAK] (Kissing and laughing) A plan is something that you're supposed to see all the way through. When's daddy gonna come home? Lou: I don't know, sweetie... I don't know. (Birds chirp) Jack: One more time. (Engine knocks) (Humming sound, ignition clicks) Tim: No, no, it's dead. Do you want me to have a look at that? Jack: No. I know what it is. (Hood clunks shut) It's the starter, it's been giving me trouble lately. I guess it bit the dust. Tim: Okay, I'll-I'll call you a tow truck. Just give me a lift back and I'll send someone out to get it. Tim: I'm not going back to Heartland, you are. Jack: Well, maybe I should come with you to the wedding. Tim: (Laughs) The last time you talked to Miranda you convinced her to leave me. Jack: Ah, see? See? I knew it! This is about you. You are not going to Moose Jaw. How're you gonna stop me, Jack? I don't know. (Struggling, horn honks as they struggle) Tim: Hey! Hey! (Keys jingle) Hey! Hey! (Grunts) Hey! Give me! Hey! (Door slams shut) Are you...? Are you freaking kidding me?! Wha-? Why would you do that?! (Wind blows, birds chirp) Caleb: How'd it go? Amy: Well, as far as I can tell, this horse seems pretty perfect for what my dad needs. Caleb: You're a good boy. How much do you think your client will sell him for? I don't know, maybe a thousand? Think they'll go for seven fifty? The less I spend, the more I make, and I could really use the cash right now. Amy: Is everything going all right with your business? Uh... yeah, yeah. Well, uh... Look, Jesse lives by the old saying, you gotta spend money to make money. Those thoroughbreds we just looked at, fifty g's a head. Amy: Whoa! Why would you need a horse like that?! Caleb: To cater to a higher end customer. Amy: And you're sure you have the cash to buy that kind of stock? Well, Jesse's willing to lend it to me, but I'm already into him for the initial loan, plus the cost of boarding my horses. Amy: I thought you were keeping them at Briar Ridge? I am. He charges me full rate. Amy: What? Caleb: Says his mother would kill him if he went around giving the facilities out for free. Lou: Okay, I think I've got it. Found the perfect place? Lou: An arena. Georgie: An arena? Lou: Yes! If we did it up... like this. Look at that. Isn't it gorgeous? What's going on here? Why is this all packed up? I'm taking it back to my teacher. But the eclipse is tonight. Well, it's too hard to set up. Lou: Well, you can't just give up, Georgie. Look, I'll-I'll help you do it, okay? Georgie: No, it's okay, Lou, I don't feel like watching the eclipse anyways. Lou: That is crazy, Georgie. You have been talking about this for weeks. We can do this. Georgie: Can you stop doing that? Lou: Doing what? Georgie: You're not listening to me. I don't wanna watch the eclipse without Peter. Just like how Amy doesn't want some big splashy arena wedding. Lou: Georgie! Georgie: 'Kay, well, I'm sorry, but it's true. Sometimes you make decisions for people, even when they already told you it's not what they want. (Stomps upstairs) Auctioneer: Five twenty-five, now thirty! I'm at the Hanley auction. Oh, Peter, this house is so great! Four thirty-five! Peter: W-what? Lou? What're you doing? Are you bidding? Are you bidding right now? Are you crazy?! Please, Peter, I want this house. It's perfect. We can fix it up. Peter: Fix it up?! Fix it up?! It's a tear-down! I just wish you would at least talk to me before you made up your mind about something so important. Oh... right. Like the way you always talk to me before you make up your mind about things. Don't do that. don't even... Don't mention, uh, the house that you bought without talking to me first? Or the specialist you sent Katie to just because some overrated private school says that she needed it? A school I didn't even think she needed... Lou: No, no, no! Peter: to go to in the first place. Lou: That is not fair, okay? I thought I was doing what was best for Katie. Oh, and what about what was best for Georgie, how you thought that she should contact her aunt. Lou: Stop it. Peter: You remember her aunt, right? The one that called child services on us. Lou: Stop it! Peter: And said that we were abusing our children? Lou: Stop it! Just stop it! Peter: Do you remember that? (Sighs heavily, snaps laptop lid shut) (Grass rustles) Tim: Help me look. You're the idiot that threw them in here. Jack: I said I was sorry. I don't know what came over me. But we're never gonna find them. I didn't even see where they landed. Tim: Just help me look! I'm gonna be late for the wedding. Come on, Tim, don't you think this like an omen or something? Tim: An omen? Jack: Yeah. Like maybe the universe is saying that you shouldn't be going to Miranda's wedding. The universe didn't throw my keys in here. You did! Get over here and look. Jack: All right. (Truck rumbles) Caleb: Thanks, Amy. See what your client says at seven-fifty, right? I'll give it a shot. Caleb, this partnership with Jesse, you're getting in pretty deep. (Sighs) I'm a big boy, Amy. Amy: I know. It's just... There's no chance that you're still seeing Cassandra, right? Caleb... Caleb! Oh my God, are you crazy? You're still hooking up with Jesse's girlfriend behind his back? Well, we can't very well be out in the open. Not now. This is all gonna blow up in your face if he finds out. He won't, he won't find out. Look, I just want what you and Ty have. Where the worst thing in my love life is trying to sort out wedding plans. You're not gonna have that with Cassandra, especially not when she's with Jesse. (Sighs) I know. It's complicated though. The heart wants what the heart wants. I'm not sure you're thinking with your heart right now. Or your head for that matter. Just be careful, okay? (Door bangs shut, engine starts) (Door opens and closes) Amy: Hey. Lou: Hey. I'm sorry I took off earlier. No. Uh... I'm the one who should apologize. Amy: For what? Lou: For pushing too hard and for trying to tell you what's right for your wedding. No, Lou, you know that's not true. It is true. I mean, can you believe I was actually considering this for your wedding venue? (Key clicks) Amy: Hey, is that that...? Lou: Yeah, Hillsdale Valley Arena. I know, it's a stupid idea. Amy: No... it's not. I mean, I don't know that I would do it up quite like this, but this is pretty cool. Maybe I could even ride Spartan up to the altar. Lou: So... you actually like this? Yeah. It's the best idea yet. You're not just saying this to get me off your case? No, Lou. I admit, I'm not really into this whole wedding prep stuff, but I love Ty, and I can't wait to marry him. So I need you to keep doing your whole... obsessive Lou thing so this wedding will happen. My whole obsessive Lou thing? I mean that in a good way. (Laughs) Come on, let's go look at wedding dresses and get this over with, huh? That's the spirit. (Dress rustles) Amy: It's too... puffy. Lou: Amy, I picked this one out because you said the last one was too fitted. Amy: Well it was. Lou: Right. And the one before that was too "busy," and that one's too "Hollywood." Well, I don't know, Lou. None of them look right. How can you tell? You haven't tried anything on yet. You know, at this rate, you are gonna be walking down the aisle in a pair of wranglers. That's not a bad idea. Okay, all right! Fine! I'll try one on. Thank you. Amy: Ungh! Lou: Care-honey, careful. (Sighs heavily, thumps lightly on couch) (Sighs heavily, slaps thighs) (Dress rustles) (Sighs) Lou: I, Samantha Louise Flemming... Peter: I, Peter Walter Morris, do take you... To be my husband, my constant friend and... my one true love. With this ring... I thee wed. (Guests clap and cheer) Minister: Mr. and Mrs. Peter Morris. Lou: Okay. Jack: Bye. (Light kiss) (Sleigh bells jingle) Lou and Peter: Bye! Bye! (Guests cheer and shout) Peter and Lou: Bye! Bye! (Sleigh bells jingle) (Exhales slowly) (Dress skirt rustles) Lou: (Gasps) Amy: Oh, come on. It doesn't look that bad. Lou and Amy: (Laugh) You look beautiful. I still think it's a little... puffy. Lou: Okay, we'll keep looking. But you have to help me here, Amy. What... what is it that you want? Amy: Honestly, Lou? I just wanna find a dress that looks as good on me as yours did on you. Lou? What's wrong? (Sniffling) Um... It's me and Peter. We um... (Crying) What's going on? It's over, Amy. What're you talking about? Peter and I, we've... We've decided to separate. (Crying) Hey... (Crying) (Lou sighs) Lou: You weren't there! You never are! Because I have a job, Lou! A real job! Lou: And I don't?! I'm just sitting around eating chocolates all day?! Peter: That is not what... Lou: Except - oh wait... I don't have time to eat chocolates because I'm too busy raising our daughter... and Georgie! And you're too busy going to some stupid meeting about an oil well in Venezuela or Trinidad to care about what is going on here! Yeah, I'm too busy to care, Lou. Right. So what the hell? I'll just pack my bags and head back to Vancouver. How's that? Lou: You may as well. You know, it's your home away from home! You must be used to it by now! Peter: That's what this is all about, right?! Lou: No! Peter: I screwed up over there and you will never let it go. That's why you won't move to Vancouver; that's why you're stuck here clinging to your life at Heartland. Because you're terrified that Peter's gonna screw everything up again! Lou: That is not true! Peter: It is true! (Door opens and shuts) Sorry, I couldn't wait for you... in there. What happened, Lou? I don't know, Amy. Just more of the same. It's like... It's like our arguments are on this constant loop. My life is here with the girls, his life... is wherever his work takes him. How are we supposed to grow as a couple? But you can... you can work out. I mean, it can't really be over. Lou: It is, Amy. It probably has been for... some time now and... It's like we've been living separate lives and chasing different dreams and... It finally caught up to us. Peter and I, we... we don't work anymore. We're broken, Amy. Amy: But you still love him. Lou: Of course I do. Everywhere I look I'm reminded of our life together. I... I don't know, Amy. I'm so mixed up. (Crying) Maybe we're making the biggest mistake of our lives... Lou: (Sniffling) (Light kiss, sobs) (Grasses crunch underfoot) Tim: I just wanted to make sure Miranda was happy. Jack: Well, you expect me to believe that? Tim: I don't know what you believe. Jack: I think you wanted to measure up her new guy. No, it's not that. I already know how great he is, so... Young, and good looking, and successful... That's what's been eating at you. No. No, it's not him. It's me. Why wasn't I good enough for her? (Birds chirp, grasses rustle) I mean, I laid it on the line, said I was willing to give us a chance, plain as day. She just walked away. Are you in love? No. No, I barely speak to her. I mean with Casey. I don't know... I could be. We laugh a lot, she's smart, and you've seen how she looks... Yeah, she's not bad at keeping you in check either. Yeah, she's got a talent for that. Okay. (Claps hands lightly) Now you know I don't like to give advice... But I think you oughta focus on where you and Casey are headed, instead of rehashing where you and Miranda have already been. (Birds chirp, breeze blows) (Sucks on grass) (Door bursts open) Georgie: (Excitedly) He's back! Peter's back! (Vehicle rumbles) Georgie: Hi! Peter: Hey, hey, hey! Hey! (Groans dramatically) Georgie: I-I can't believe you're here! Lou said you were stuck in Vancouver! Peter: How can I miss watching the eclipse with my favourite girls?! (Baby cries) Lou: Hi, you. Honey, look at our baby. (Kiss) Peter: There's only one charm on it, but lots of room for expansion, just like our family. (Light kiss) Lou: We don't want you to leave. And, in fact, we would really love it if you would consider staying here with us and with Katie. Peter: Now only if that's okay with you. Lou: It has to be right for you. Georgie: Woo-hoo! Okay, okay! Peter: All right, hold it! Georgie: I'll hold it, I'll hold it. Peter: Okay, I'll reel it in. Georgie: Okay. Peter: Woo! Georgie: Oh my God! Katie: Mama, they caught a fish! Lou: Yeah. Georgie: (Laughing) Georgie: Thanks for coming home, dad! This is gonna be amazing! Peter: Ah! I told you I'd be here. I brought home a telescope from school, but we couldn't set it up. Peter: What is it? An equatorial mount? Georgie: Yeah! Yeah. Peter: Ah, no problem. I've done tons of those. Let's do it! Georgie: Okay! Lou: Hi. Peter: Hey. Hi. (Light peck) Georgie: Ah! Now we get to watch the eclipse, the whole family. Oh, I'm so excited you're back. We're gonna have so much fun! C'mon, Katie, let's go! Come on! (Laughing) Peter: Sorry for just showing up like this. I... I probably should've called here. It's okay. I've been... I've been thinking a lot about you, about us. Yeah, me too. Honey, are... Are we giving up too easy? I keep asking myself that. Lou: Maybe... Maybe we should be fighting to make this work. Peter: We've been fighting literally, you know, a lot, and it's... It's just, it's taken its toll, Lou, you know. And as much as it hurts, I think... I think we're making the right decision. So why did you come back? Because I told Georgie I was gonna watch the eclipse with her. I'm gonna be here for the kids, Lou. That-that-that's not gonna change. Everything is gonna change. How are we gonna tell them? Peter: I don't... I don't know. But let's... Let's not tell them tonight, okay? Would that be all right? Let's just have one more night. Caleb: So what do you wanna talk to me about? Is this another lecture? No. I wanted to say I'm sorry. (Sighs heavily) That horse deal fell through? No. I mean about Cassandra. I should've never pried. It's just... I am lucky to have what I have with Ty, and... I want you to be happy as well. Then tell me your client's gonna sell that horse to Tim. Well, I haven't heard back from her yet, but I'm sure it'll all work out. Caleb: I hope so. I really need the commission. Did you and Jesse buy one of those expensive horses? (Sighs) Two. We bought two. (Diners chatter, music plays quietly) (Grasses rustle underfoot) (Keys jingle and thunk) Jack: Well, will you look at that! Oh... I found your keys right here. (Keys clank) Tim: No, give me the keys. I'm still ticked with you. Spent a whole afternoon of my life... an afternoon I will never get back... looking around in grass. Hey! You can still make the wedding if you leave now. Nah. I think I'm gonna send a congratulations text. That's a good call. Well, I have you to thank for that decision. You got me to see how Miranda sees it, you know? What it would be like to have... somebody always following you around. Pathetic. (Keys clank) Let's get you a tow. Jack: Ah, you know, that truck's had a chance to cool down now, I think we oughta give it another shot. Tim: I thought you said your starter bit the dust. Jack: Oh yeah, but it's a finicky thing. Tim: You and I both know that there's nothing wrong with your truck, Jack. Jack: (Laughing) Tim: You're unbelievable. (Chuckling) Unbelievable. (Approaching footsteps) Lou: Hey. Amy: Hey. They finally get that telescope set up? Lou: Yup. Peter is really good at that kind of thing. Are you okay? Lou: I'm pretty far from okay. Amy: I told Ty what's going on... We both think that, under the circumstances, it would be best to postpone the wedding. Lou: No. Look, I appreciate your concern, Amy, but I'm not gonna let you put your future on hold because of this, okay? And besides, the whole family is gonna need something to look forward to. Lou: (Sighs heavily) Amy: You're sure? Lou: If you really wanna help me get through this, then... help me to believe in love again. Amy: Yeah. Guess we should probably book that arena. Lou: Yes, we will. And it's gonna be perfect. Peter: Yes, I think so... Okay, let me just adjust it a bit more here. Oh, there we go. Georgie: Really? Peter: Yeah! It's happening! It's happening! Georgie: Oh my gosh! Peter: Come on up, honey. Take a look! Georgie: Here. Here. Peter: Look. You can see the moon. It looks like a big cookie being eaten by the sky. Katie: Now I can't see anything. Peter: Oh boy. Well, you're closing the wrong eye. You gotta close the other eye. (Laughing) This eye. There you go. Peter: Whoa! All: (Laughing) ♪ I'm sorry, there's only so much I can do ♪ (Fireworks pop, everyone laughs) ♪ I'll die for just another glimpse of you ♪ Peter: Here's to our future. ♪ 'Cause I can make you happy ♪ Peter: Lou, come here. You gotta come check this out. Lou: Can I see? Let me take a peek. Wow! That is really something, isn't it? Peter: Right? Georgie: Oh, it sure is. Oh, that is so cool! (Lou chuckles) Here. Here, let me see. That is amazing! ♪...come around, come around again ♪ ♪ Won't you come around, come around, come around... ♪ ♪ Again... ♪ ♪ Ooh... ooh... ooh... ♪	Plan: A: Lou; Q: Who returns from Vancouver with an admission that threatens to change the Heartland family forever? A: Peter; Q: Who is Lou separating from? A: Jack; Q: Who intervenes when he discovers that Tim intends to crash Miranda's wedding? A: Moose Jaw; Q: Where is Miranda's wedding? A: Amy; Q: Who helps Caleb source a horse for Tim's rodeo school? A: Jesse; Q: Who is Caleb's business partner? A: disappointment; Q: What emotion does Georgie fight when it looks like Peter won't make it home to take in the lunar eclipse with her? Summary: Lou returns from Vancouver with an admission that threatens to change the Heartland family forever; she and Peter are separating. Meanwhile, Jack intervenes when he discovers that Tim intends to crash Miranda's wedding in Moose Jaw. Then, when Amy helps Caleb source a horse for Tim's rodeo school, she learns just how precarious Caleb's business partnership is with Jesse. And Georgie fights disappointment when it looks like Peter won't make it home to take in the lunar eclipse with her.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] From "The Ring" Lilah: "I'm Lilah Morgan" Angel: "Wolfram & Hart" Lilah: "I'm an associate here." From "To Shanshu in L.A." Lilah: "We're all very please you're here - Darla." From "First Impressions" Angel: "I still can't believe you're here." Darla: "And let Darla take care of you." Darla: "All you have to do is let me." Lilah sneaks into Lindsey's dark office at Wolfram & Hart and starts to look through the papers on his desk. Darla: "Exciting, isn't it?" Lilah jumps and drops the papers she was holding. Lilah: "Darla. - I didn't see you." Darla: "Going through their things, all the little pieces of themselves locked away, given you a naughty little thrill of control." Lilah: "I just like to keep abreast of his latest project. He's probably in my office right now trying to find out about mine. That's just how it works at our firm." Darla sits on the edge of Lindsey's desk and pours some dark blue powder into the palm of her left hand. Darla: "Hmm, all you busy little worker bees, plotting your little schemes. Lilah looks at powder: "Calynthia powder? Is that how you keep Angel sleeping - when he's with you?" Darla: "There is nothing so lovely as dreams. Everything is in them, everything hidden. Open those chambers and you can truly understand someone - and control them." Lilah with a slight smile: "And what's hidden in Angel's secret chambers?" Darla: "Horrors." Cut to Angel waking up in his bed at night. Cut to Angel walking down the stairs, buttoning up his shirt. We hear Wesley and Cordy's conversation drifting up from the hotel lobby. Wesley: "That's so typical of your kind." Cordy: "At least I'm not a sheep like you." Wesley: "I am not a sheep!" Cordy: "You're such a sheep! You've never had an opinion that you didn't read in a book." Wesley: "At least I've opened a book." Cordy: "Oh, don't even try with the snooty, wooly boy. I was top 10% of my class!" Wesley: "What class? Advanced bosoms?" Cordy: "Oh!" Angel: "Hey! - What the hell is going on here?" Cordy: "We were just discussing whether or not we should offer to pay Gunn." Angel looks at them for a beat. Shakes his head. Angel: "No you weren't." Wesley: "Well, our discussions tend to go about three minutes, then it's strictly name calling and hair pulling." Cordy: "Ebeneezer here doesn't want to share the wealth." Wesley: "I didn't say that. I merely said Gunn might be insulted by the offer. He's a - proud sort of fellow." Cordy: "He's been doing for us. He should pull in a check." Angel: "I'll think about asking him, alright?" Cordy: "No think. Pay. That's an order." Angel: "Hey! How about we pretend that you work for me?" Cordy: "You are really unpleasant when you..." Angel: "Then why don't we pretend that you don't." Cordy: "You can't fire me. I'm vision girl." Sticks her tongue out at him. Angel sticks his hands into his pockets and tries not to smile. Angel: "All right. I'll think about asking him, alright? Maybe - on a case by case." Cordy gives him a big smile: "My hero." Wesley: "I was going to suggest that." Cordy: "Ah-huh." Angel: "I-is there coffee?" Cordy: "There was - in the morning. It's ten o'clock at night." Angel: "Oh. Huh. Just a little disoriented. I've been sleeping weird." Wesley: "Weird how?" Angel: "I don't know." Wesley: "I mean, it's been going on for a bit hasn't it? You sleep more, you're less rested. - Are you dreaming?" Cordelia starts to pant and lifts a hand to her brow. Angel runs and catches her as she sways under the impact of an incoming vision. Cordy, face scrunched up in pain: "Well, boys, I think we have a customer..." She gets thrown back in Angel's grip and we get a blurry shot of a girl screaming. Cordy: "Okay - a girl (blurry vision of girl running from someone) she's in an alley - Hollywood and Wilcox (blurry shot of a guy's face and the girls screaming) Oh, she's so scared!" Wesley to Angel: "Go." Angel runs out as Wesley takes over supporting Cordy. Cordy: "Oh god, he's gonna be too late." We see a sobbing girl running from two guys. One of them gets a hold of her shoulder and throws her to the ground. Bearded Guy: "What you making us run around for?" Bald guy heads towards the down girl but bearded guy stops him. Mustache guy: "Hey, I get it first. Think I want your seconds? You pig. (To girl) Guy's a pig." He pulls out a knife. The girl continues to sob, and suddenly a full dumpster slides across the alley and squashes the two guys against the opposite building. The girl takes a deep breath and cries even harder. Intro There is an ambulance sitting at the entrance to the alley. Angel walks past it as two people wheel a gurney with a covered body towards it. He ducks under the yellow police tape, picks up a cup of coffee sitting on the hood of a police cruiser and stops a step ahead of a young police officer noting something down on a pad of paper. Angel looking at the crime scene: "So, what have we got here?" Officer: "Uh - you're not..." Angel looking past the officer: "Hey, you wanna get behind the tape? You wanna gawk, go home and watch a high speed chase on Fox. (To the officer) You want to think about keeping the tourists off my crime scene?" Officer: "But I-I'm..." Angel walks towards the crime scene: "I'm out of vice three weeks, I've seen enough amateur night crap to fill a mini-series. (Turns back towards the officer and gestures with his cup of coffee) You wanna pretend that's not a cub scouts uniform and tell me about dead people?" Officer: "Uh, well, detective, what happened is we had to scrape them off the wall. (Angel takes a sip of the coffee and makes a face.) Guys got pinned by a two ton dumpster." Angel: "It fell on them." Officer: "Ah, no. They were actually pinned to the wall. Looks like somebody might have shoved the dumpster from the side." Angel walks further down the alley, reaching his cup back towards the officer, who hurries to take it from him. Angel: "Have to be somebody pretty strong." Officer: "Yeah. You're telling me. (Points at some blood on the ground) Splashed those guys all the way up here." Angel crouches down and looks at the blood. Angel: "It's not their blood." Officer: "Excuse me?" Angel stands back up: "You seen a girl tonight? - Maybe a little scared - beat-up?" Officer: "Huh-uh. Nobody but our Mr. Bills. (Angel looks at him) You know (high pitched voice) 'Oh no, Mr. Bill' - krech!" Angel turns away: "Right." Angel walks further down the alley, looking around as a guy in a suit comes up behind the officer. He opens his jacket to show the shield clipped to his belt. Detective: "So, what have we got here?" Officer looks at him, then back the way Angel went. Angel finds an unlocked door and enters an empty warehouse. He walks past some sacks of cement and pieces of re-bar, spots the girl form the alley, sitting on some stuff on the far side of the warehouse. Angel: "Hey." Bethany gets up: "What do you want?" Angel slowly steps closer. Lifts a hand to touch his right temple. Angel: "You're bleeding." Bethany: "Just stay away from me." Angel: "I just want to ask you a few questions, that's all." Bethany: "You don't understand. I'm - I'm really uh, upset right now. I think it's best if you just..." Angel: "You were in that alley, weren't you?" Bethany: "No! - I mean - what alley? (Walks towards the door) I'm going." Angel moves to intercept her. Angel: "Hold on a second." Bethany lets out a whimper and suddenly a piece of re-bar jumps into the air and impales Angel through his right shoulder. Angel drops to his knees with a groan. Bethany stares at him in horror. Bethany: "Oh god. I told you. I tried to tell you." She runs towards the door. Angel: "Please wait." Bethany spins around and stares as Angel gets up braces himself and pulls the re-bar out. Bethany: "W-what are you?" Angel: "I've come to help you. My name is Angel." Bethany with a hysterical laugh: "Great. I've stabbed an angel. Now I'm really never getting into heaven." Angel: "I'm not an angel. It's just a name." Bethany: "But - how did you..." Angel looks down at his pierced shoulder: "Well, I'm different from most people - like you are. - Those men in they alley - they tried to hurt you, didn't they? (Bethany nods and looks away) But you stopped them." Bethany: "I didn't mean to. They followed me from the club. It wasn't..." Angel: "It's okay." Bethany: "Yeah, it's just great!" Angel: "You're not from L.A., are you? (Bethany shakes her head) Got family in town? - Me neither. - Town kind of attracts loners, don't you think?" Bethany: "You can't make me go anywhere with you." Angel looks down at his pierced shoulder again: "I think that message got through. (Gives her a smile, then turns serious again) And I would never try. (Bethany turns to leave) Wait. Take this. (Offers her one of his business cards) If you need anything - a place to stay..." Bethany: "I'm staying with a friend." Angel: "Someone to talk to. - Think about it. - I won't hurt you - and you can't hurt me. - You may need that." After a beat, Bethany snatches the card from his hand and hurries out. Angel grimaces in pain as his knees give out and he falls to the floor clutching at his shoulder. Angel: "Ah. Oh. Okay, maybe she can hurt me a little." Bethany enters an apartment building, climbs some stairs and fumbles with some keys as the door in front of her is opened to reveal Lilah Morgan standing there. Lilah: "Bethany." Bethany: "Hi! Sorry I'm late." Lilah: "I was starting to get worried." Bethany gives her a smile and walks past her into the apartment. Lilah walks over to where Bethany is sitting on the sofa, carrying a laundry basket. Lilah: "So, how was the club? You have any fun?" Bethany: "It was okay." Lilah sits down beside her and begins to fold the laundry. Lilah: "Any cute boys? (Bethany shakes her head) I'm sorry I couldn't make it. But work just got insane, and our new clients are monsters." Bethany reaches for the laundry: "Here. Let me." Lilah: "Oh, I like folding. It's like a Zen exercise for me. It levels me out after work." Bethany: "You got to let me help. I gotta at least... It's enough you letting me stay here." Lilah: "Didn't we vow you were gonna stop that? Didn't we make a blood oath? (smiles) I love having you here." Bethany: "You know, when you came and spoke at our school, I was so... There was someone who got out, who made it by themselves. I-I'm saying it wrong." Lilah: "No. You're not." Bethany: "I couldn't believe you even talked to me." Lilah smiles at her: "See? You have no idea. You're special, Bethany. - In the old, non-retarded sense of the word. You think I tour high schools across America, saying 'look me up' to everyone I meet? (Shakes her head) You have a power about you. (Bethany looks away) Other people are gonna start to know that." Bethany: "I guess I'm getting kind of sleepy." Lilah: "I bet you are. I'm still kind of wired. I might stare at the TV for a while." Bethany gets up: "Good night, Lilah." Lilah as Bethany walks up the stairs: "Sweet dreams." Cordy and Wesley are taping up Angel's shoulder. Cordy: "I can't get this bandage to... Stop moving!" Angel: "I'm not." Cordy: "Well, then stop breathing." Angel: "I don't breathe." Cordy: "Then stop flexing your manly boob-muscles or whatever." Wesley: "That's an ugly looking wound." Angel: "It doesn't feel pretty either." Wesley: "We should definitely approach this girl with caution. - I guess you already figured that out." Angel: "She's very powerful. We got to find out everything we can about her." Cordy buttoning up Angel's shirt: "Like - oh, say, her name?" Angel: "I was impaled at the time." Cordy pats his knee: "Of course. Perfectly understandable." Angel: "You know how hard it is to think straight with a re-bar through your torso?" Cordy: "Actually, I do. Benefits of a Sunnydale education. No address or anything?" Angel: "She said she was staying with a friend." Cordy: "Well, that narrows it down to people with friends. (To Wesley) Where do we keep that list?" Angel: "She's not local. Traces of an accent. North-east - maybe Ohio... and everything about her tells me she is on the run, so..." Cordy: "So look into runaways from the north-east." Angel: "And cross-reference it with supernatural occurrences. The way she went off tonight, I doubt she's been able to stay low profile." Wesley: "Angel, you're sure this isn't a demon of some kind?" Angel: "She's just a girl." Cordy sitting down at her laptop: "Just a girl that can kill your ass by blinking." Angel: "She needs help. She's out of control. She's just - lost. (Goes to stand next to Wesley) What do we know about telekinesis?" Wesley: "Ah. Yes. The power of moving things with one's mind. (Takes a deep breath) That's pretty much it. The power of - moving... I-I'm better with demons, really." Angel: "Time to broaden your horizons." Gunn walks into the lobby. Gunn: "You call, I come. Loaded for bear, ready for battle, and something else that starts with B." Wesley: "What is that?" Gunn holds up an axe which looks like it's blade might at one time have been a hubcap. Gunn: "Ah, isn't that thing? Some of the kids at my camp put it together for me. Thought I might get the chance to stick it in something now." Cordy: "Men are all alike." Gunn: "Fair Cordelia - you still saving my life?" Cordelia without looking up from her screen: "Every minute." Gunn: "How's that working out?" Cordy looks at him: "You're alive, aren't you?" Gunn: "So, what kind of scaly Pus-monster you all want me to slay this time?" Angel: "Actually we were hoping you could do some leg-work for us." Gunn: "Leg-work? That kind of leaves me high and dry with my cool new ax." Angel: "I'm trying to find a girl. (Cordy slaps his arm and rubs her fingers together as if she was counting money. Angel pushes her hand down and keeps right on talking) She smashed a couple of would-be rapists with a dumpster." Gunn: "Must have been a hefty kind of girl." Angel: "We think she did it psychically." Wesley: "Telekinesis, the power of moving things with..." Gunn: "Yeah, I have heard the word. So, what you all need me to do?" Angel: "I'm interested in the guys. The got..." Cordelia: "Smushed?" Angel: "Not far from your neighborhood, around Hollywood and Wilcox. You think you could find out who they are?" Gunn: "You got it. (Starts to leave) But if I come back here on the end of a spatula, I'm expecting some serious workman's comp!" Cordy hits Angel's arm: "See? Workman's comp - he wants to get paid!" Angel: "Cordelia..." Cordy: "The poor man can't even afford a real ax!" Angel: "Okay. Okay. I'll bring it up. (Cordy grins at him and Angel walks towards the stairs) I'm going to bed. - It's been a long day." Cordy: "You've been up for three hours." Angel stops but doesn't turn around. Angel: "Cordelia - find the girl." Cordy and Wesley watch him leave then look at each other. Angel walks over to his bed, a bloodstained bandage half covering his tattoo. He sits down on the edge of it, taking some quick deep breaths and frowning. Bethany lies in her bed with her eyes open. Angel lays his head on his pillow, blinking his eyes rapidly. Bethany looks around, then her eyes slowly drift shut. We see a little girl standing in an attic, staring towards the bright square of the window at one end of it. A man comes up the ladder into the attic. Lilah walks into Bethany's room and watches as the tosses her head and whimpers in her sleep. Things on the nightstand begin to rattle around. Lilah smiles. Man steps closer to the girl in the attic. Man: "Shh, rabbit. (Takes a hold of one of her arms) Let's go downstairs - just you and me." The things on Bethany's nightstand rattle harder. The man leads the girl towards the ladder as a jar of pennies in the foreground begins to rattle around. Man: "Don't make a fuss, rabbit." They climb down the ladder. The lamp on the nightstand flies into the air and hits Lilah in the head. Bethany sits up in Bed and sees what has happened. Bethany: "No. No. No. (She gets out of bed and grabs a jacket) Oh my god." Lilah from the floor: "Bethany..." Bethany: "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry." Bethany hurries out of the room. Lilah: "Don't - don't go!" Lilah tries to get up but can't. Bethany runs through the streets. Darla pushes Angelus down in front of a fireplace. They kiss, then Angel pushes them back up. They smile at each other. Darla arcs backward and comes back wearing her vamp-face. They kiss again and when they break apart Angelus is in vamp-face as well. Darla is leaning over a sleeping Angel, caressing his shoulder. Darla: "Remember Rumania (?), in front of the fire, with the gypsy girl - all bound and gagged. You took her right there. You sucked her blood until she was dry." (Close caption here has instead: "You've been in a fire... with a gypsy girl - all bound and gagged. You took her right there. You sucked her blood until she was drained.") Angelus bites Darla's neck. Darla smiles, then after a moment sinks her own teeth into Angelus' neck. Angel wakes up, touching his neck where the Darla in his dream just bit him. Looks around, disoriented. Day. Wesley is reading a book. Angel walks into the lobby, rubbing his eyes, and leans on the counter looking at Cordy sitting in front of the laptop. Angel: "Well?" Cordy: "Top of the middle of the day to you, too. And no, no leads worth mentioning. Of course we lost a little time during my 45 minutes of sleep. Good thing I left some clothes here, or you would be smelling me even now." Angel: "Gunn check in?" Cordy: "Huh-uh." Angel to Wesley: "How about you? How's it coming?" Wesley: "Well, most of my reading suggests that telekinesis is a psychic phenomenon that occurrs during periods of extreme emotional stress." Angel: "Well, that tracks. (Rubs at his eyes) We got to find her." Cordy: "Well, I think I may have a lead." When the guys look at her she motions towards the door, where Bethany stands in her nightgown and jacket. Angel: "Hey. How are you?" Bethany: "Bethany. (Takes a deep breath) Bethany Chaulk. - You said I couldn't hurt you. - That if I needed anything..." Angel: "You're safe here." Wesley: "We're all - safe people." Angel: "This is uhm - Wesley and Cordelia." Bethany still standing just inside the door: "So, it's a family business, huh?" Angel: "Friends. Come on in." Bethany walks down the stairs with a sigh. Her knees sag and Angel catches her. She immediately pushes free. Bethany: "Sorry. (Cordy looks her up and down) I'm just - so tired." Angel: "Would you like some tea?" Bethany: "Yeah. Please." Angel leaves. Cordy: "You shouldn't worry. Angel does this kind of thing all the time." Bethany: "Makes tea?" Cordy: "Helps people. You know, he helps people with problems." Bethany: "So what's wrong with you?" Wesley: "Where to begin?" Wolfram and Hart's office complex. Holland: "Wow. That little girl gave you one heck of a shiner, didn't she? You think the alley scenario was too much?" Lilah: "I assure you, sir, I have the utmost confidence..." Holland: "Oh, don't utmost confidence me. You know, some people might say that you lost control over this girl. If this is how she is now, what happens when you pull the trigger? - She's got the profile, but an assassin's no good if it can't be controlled. (Stands up) But do you know what I say? - Nonsense! I say, Lilah Morgan found this girl, Lilah Morgan recruited this girl for a reason, and Lilah Morgan is gonna bring this girl into the welcoming arms of Wolfram and Hart." Lilah: "I will find her." Her cell phone rings and she answers it. Lilah: "Hello. - Bethany. (She raises her eyebrows at Holland and he smiles in return) No I'm so glad you called. - No, I was worried. - No, I'm fine. - Where are you?" [SCENE_BREAK] Angel leans against a pillar with his arms crossed. He turns around as Bethany walks out through a glass door, now dressed. Bethany: "They're Cordy's. Feel kinda funny." Angel: "You look nice. Did you get a hold of your friend? (Bethany nods) Is she okay?" Bethany: "She says she's fine - worried about me. How do you explain... She'd just think I'm crazy." Angel: "Are you?" Bethany: "What?" Angel: "Well, if you are, you know, crazy, I just think that things will go - smoother if I know up front." Bethany gives a laugh: "I probably am. (Sighs and comes down the steps) I - I don't wanna - I don't wanna talk about me and share, or whatever. We-we can talk about stuff, but... I don't know. You're the expert, right?" Angel: "I wouldn't exactly say that. I just - have some experience in dealing with the kind of power - that needs to be controlled." Bethany: "I don't want to control it. I want it gone." Cordelia is standing behind the counter watching them through the glass doors. Cordy: "What is she doing?" Wesley is sitting behind her, reading. Wesley: "They're talking, yes?" Cordy: "There is something. She's got a vibe. I'm getting a vibe. She's viby." Wesley: "I didn't notice a vibe." Cordy: "Well, all evidence to the contrary, Wes, but you're not a woman. Women and sx, it's not like you guys, we see more levels. (Wesley looks up then looks back at the previous page of his book) Are you even listening?" Bethany: "It's like - there is a flash - like - something pops in my brain, and then I'm - it's like - uhm, there's an undertow. Like there is no gravity and by body is being pulled in different directions, but inside, you know?" Angel sits down beside her on the garden bench in the shadow of the hotel's veranda. Angel: "Does it hurt?" Bethany: "Yes. No - It's just for a second, then I'm back." Angel: "And you only feel it when you make things move." Bethany: "I don't make them move. I go into this and when I come back things aren't where I left them." Angel: "You've never done it on purpose?" Bethany: "Of course not." Angel: "You never thought 'man, the remote is too far away and I'd have to get up'" Bethany gets up off the bench. Bethany: "It's not a parlor trick! It's - It's a disease!" Angel: "Look. We don't know what it is yet. We're just getting started. I just want to know about you." Bethany: "Well, don't start asking me a bunch of stupid questions. Like when were you potty trained and name all your pets... - Do you like hide-n-seek." Angel: "None of those were on my list." Bethany: "You don't even know what I'm going through! I shouldn't even be here!" Wesley: "I agree. (Bethany spins around as Wesley walks down the steps into the garden court) It's clear this girl doesn't want our help. I don't think we should be wasting our time with her. " Angel: "Wesley..." Wesley: "I'm sorry, but there are people out there who need us. People with much more serious problems than impulse-control issues." Angel stands up: "Look, that's enough." Wesley: "Why doesn't she go back to her friend's, toss the furniture about. (Steps closer to Bethany) Or maybe we should send you home to your father." Bethany gasps and Wesley flies back against the wall. Angel steps towards her, she sees it and he goes flying back out into the sun of the courtyard. He quickly scrambles back under the protection of the veranda, smoking ever so slightly and watches Bethany as she looks around at what she just did. Cordy folds some ice into a napkin and holds it against the back of Wesley's head. Cordy: "You're sure nothing's broken?" Wesley: "I'm sure." Cordy: "Nothing at all? Say, your brain? (sighs) What happened to approach her with caution?" Wesley: "If I'd given her time to get her defenses up..." Cordy: "She wouldn't be crying, you wouldn't be bruised and Angel wouldn't have had a near Melba-toast experience! What did you say to her?" Wesley: "I mentioned her father." Cordy: "Well, who's her father?" Wesley: "No, it's... The sort of trauma that can produce this level of psychic power usually involves abuse of some kind - very early on. You'd mentioned a sexual vibe, she made that crack about family business. Statistically speaking, the father was the best guess." Cordy: "There's not enough yuck in the world." Angel walks in. Cordy: "How is she?" Angel: "Settling. (To Wesley) You're gone." Cordy: "You can't fire Wesley. I'll quit, too! - Unless you're firm!" Angel: "I'm not firing anyone." Wesley: "I understand. My being here wouldn't exactly help her* to feel trusting. I'll be at my flat. Call me if..." He walks past Angel. Angel: "It helps that we know." Wesley: "I hope so." He leaves. Angel to Cordy: "You should stay at your own place tonight in case she..." Cordy: "Be careful." Angel: "I don't think she'll go off again." Cordy is about to say something, but then just leaves. Angel enters the corner room on the top floor of the hotel to find Bethany sitting with her back against a box-spring mattress propped up against a wall. The doors to the balcony next to her are standing open. Angel: "There you are." Bethany: "I came up here. I feel safe up here." Angel survey's the room: "Yeah, and you did pick the one room in the house that may collapse to feel safe in." Bethany: "I'm really embarrassed... And that just makes me - all these horrible things have happened - been done to me, guys have died - and I'm freaking because I'm so embarrassed. - People are pathetic." Angel: "I don't know. - I like 'em. (He crouches down next to her) The time I've lived - I've seen some horrors - scary behavior, and a couple fashion trends I constantly pray to forget, but - I see people try. - I see them try to be better." Bethany: "You sound like an old guy." Angel smiles: "Well, you know, I'm very well preserved." Bethany sighs: "I'd like that - to see people the way you do." Angelus and Darla, both in vamp-face, are biting each other again in front of the fireplace. Angel lies sleeping in his bed. Angelus looks up from Darla's neck, pants, then pulls her off his neck. She smiles at him. They look over at a bound and gagged girl (somewhat resembling Bethany, though she is wearing period dress). Angel tosses his head on his pillow. Bethany walks down the hall, rubbing her arms. Angel wakes up. Angel: "Darla?" Bethany: "It's just me." Angel works himself up higher on his pillow. Angel: "What's up? What... what's - Is there trouble?" Bethany: "I just didn't want to sleep. (Sits down on the edge of his bed) I heard a voice in here and thought maybe you were awake." Angel: "No - I was having a nightmare." Bethany: "It looked like a pretty happy dream - or maybe the covers were just rumpled. - I figured I'd come in here. (Looks around) It's nicer than my room." Angel: "Is there something, uh, something you want to talk about?" Bethany: "No. - I figured we'd have fun. You can do stuff to me and - you know - we'll have some fun." Angel: "That's not gonna happen Bethany." Bethany: "What, you think I'm some frightened little mouse? I've done stuff. I can make you happy." Angel: "You wouldn't like me when I'm happy." Bethany slides one of her hands up his leg on top of the covers: "Come on. (As Angel looks at her he suddenly sees Darla instead of Bethany there) It doesn't mean anything." Angel grabs her hand as she slides it under the covers and pulls it off him: "I said stop it!" Bethany pulls away screaming "Get off me!" as the bed rattles around for a moment. Angel: "You wanna make love, but you don't wanna be touched?" Bethany gives a short laugh: "Make love? What are you, from the eighteenth century? - I was just... I just wanted..." Angel: "What'd you want?" Bethany: "Are you shocked I'm a great big slut?" Angel: "You find that I'm not easily shocked, Bethany." Bethany sits down on the chest at the end of Angel's bed. Bethany: "Everyone thinks I'm so fragile and innocent. Men love it." Angel: "Do you?" Bethany: "Do I love it? - Who cares. - I'm - I'm - like the chambermaid. I just leave. When a guy's on me, I... I made up the room, I showed him in - and I leave till he's gone. - Come back and - clean up the mess." Angel: "An the men?" Bethany: "What, you think they'd notice or care I'm not there? - Would you?" Angel: "I don't think everyone's as bad as you'd have them be." Bethany: "Oh, right. You love the people. (Gets up) Love them so much, you got a hundred rooms to be all alone in. - I'm thinking maybe you're not exactly qualified to help me with my problem." Angel: "Maybe I'm the only one who is. - Try to get some sleep." Bethany: "Who's Darla?" Angel: "Good night, Bethany." Bethany sighs and walks out through the open doors of his bedroom. As she passes through the living-room-kitchenette area we see Darla peek out from behind a wall and look towards Angel's bedroom. Wolfram and Harts offices, day. Holland: "He's not sleeping. You understand how this puts a crimp in Lindsey's project." Lilah: "Yes, sir, but..." Holland: "You know, Lindsey's a guy who understands the big picture. All his efforts go towards realizing that picture - and your little girl is currently finger-painting all over his efforts." Lilah: "I understand, sir." Holland: "I know you do. - Get her out, Lilah. - And not just for the sake of the big picture - for yours." Smiles at her. Bethany: "I feel funny. Sweaty-funny, I think." Angel: "Just try it. You can stop at any time." Bethany: "What if it blows up or something?" Angel holding a silk scarf: "I'll buy Cordelia a new one." Bethany takes a deep breath: "Okay. Just - drop it on the floor." Angel drops the scarf. Bethany's eyes kind of widen. Cordy, on the phone behind the counter watches as one end of the scarf rises to slide up Angel's body. Angel smiles at her: "See? (The scarf drapes itself around Angel's neck) You can control it." Bethany gives a short laugh. Cordy hangs up the phone and walks over to them. Cordy to Angel: "Nice look. (Angel pulls the scarf off, and she hands him a piece of paper) That was Gunn. He wants you to meet him at this address." Angel: "Brentwood?" Cordy: "I'll look after Bethany. We can hit the Plaza shops." Bethany: "Um, sure. Sounds like fun." Angel hands Cordy her scarf while looking at Bethany: "I'll be back soon." Cordy holds out the scarf as he leaves: "You're not gonna wear this?" The door to a dark apartment breaks open to reveal Angel and Gunn in the hallway outside of it. Gunn walking in: "Knock, knock. See, this works great. You break and I enter." Angel: "As long as this guy is still alive I can't enter." Gunn: "The guy is on the critical list. Your girl must be pretty scary. (Looks around the apartment) You see what I'm seeing here?" Angel craning his neck to see as much as he can through the open door: "Doesn't exactly fit the thug-in-the-alley profile." Gunn: "No, word on this guy was muscle-for-hire. Not cheap neither." Angel: "So he was sent after Bethany." Gunn: "Somebody wanted her hurt." Angel: "Or wanted to know what would happen if somebody tried. (Leans against the invisible barrier) Hey, look for an address book. You know, checks, statements." Gunn: "I'm still dealing with this man's ugly-ass livingroom-set. Some people just shouldn't have money." Angel: "On the subject of money. How would you feel, maybe, you know, on a - case by case basis?" Gunn: "Are you offering to pay me for helping you?" Angel: "Yeah." Gunn: "Cool." Angel blinks, still leaning against the barrier. Suddenly the barrier vanishes and Angel's lands full length on the floor of the apartment. Gunn smiling: "You're a very graceful man, have I ever mentioned that?" Angel getting up: "I guess someone is off the critical list." Gunn: "Rapist-for-hire, see me crying?" Angel looks through some papers on the desk. Hits the redial button on the speakerphone. After the second ring it's picked up. "Wolfram and Hart - how may I direct your call?" Angel and Gunn look at each other. Night. We see and old fashioned carousel, Cordy and Bethany holding drinks. Bethany: "You're right. This is great!" Cordy: "It's the vanilla that makes the mocha less latte-y." Bethany: "Yeah. Where I'm from, you know, they still just have coffee. Everything else is that L.A. stuff." Cordy: "Yeah. Don't bone my boss." Bethany: "What?" Cordy: "Angel. He's strictly a no-bone." Bethany: "I wasn't... (Cordy raises her eyebrows at her) Cordelia, I don't wanna sleep with Angel." Cordy: "The thing about Angel, he's old-fashioned - old fashioned - like the age of chivalry. He sees you as, pretty much, the damsel in distress. - I think it's a little more complicated than that." Bethany: "W-why are you... I never..." Cordy: "I think you're kind of dangerous. - I'm not being mean. I like you. I do. But - you come on all helpless and... I mean, people that have thought that you were helpless before - have died." Bethany: "Those men in the alley - that was the only... They were gonna hurt me." Cordy: "You could have floated them away - or-or spun them until they puked. I don't know. You squashed them." Bethany sits down on a little wall. Bethany: "You don't know how scary it was." Cordy sits down beside her: "Yes, I do. - I had a vision of you. That's how Angel found you. I felt everything. And those guys are better off squashed, I truly think, but - somewhere in that moment of panic a decision got made and I don't want something like that to happen to my friends - or, and I can't stress this enough, me. - No matter what, sx complicates the equation - even more than you think." Bethany: "I get it. You don't have to worry." Cordy: "Good." They get up and start walking again. Bethany: "So, are you and Angel...?" Cordy: "Oh, no! I like my men less broody and more spendy." Bethany: "He is kind of earnest. He always seems to..." A man pushes between them, injecting something into Bethany's neck as he passes. Cordy: "Hey! - What a jerk! (Bethany is swaying and Cordy rescues her cup of coffee) You're about to drop your..." Two men grab Bethany's arms and pull her along between them. Cordy: "Hey! Stop! Police!" As they guys torn back towards her she throws a cup of coffee into each of their faces. They let go of Bethany, blinded by the hot coffee and Cordy catches her around the waist and leads her away. Cordy: "Stay with me. Stay with me. Oh god. (They almost get hit by a van as they cross the street) Bethany. Come on!" The back doors of the van pop open and men dressed all in white jumps out, push Cordy aside and drag Bethany into the van. Cordy: "No! Bethany! You can squash those* guys!" The back doors of the van get pulled closed and the van speeds away - just as Angel and Gunn pull up beside Cordelia in his convertible. Angel: "Cordelia." Cordelia points: "Tan van. Fetch!" Angel speeds off in pursuit with Cordy looking after them. Angel tires to cut the van off, but there are too many cars coming the other direction. Angel to Gunn: "Take the wheel." Gunn slides over into the driver's seat while Angel jumps over the windshield onto the hood of his car. Angel: "Closer!" Angel jumps onto the back of the van grabbing a hold of its top rack. He pulls one of the back doors open and reaches in. Bethany tries to sit up to see what is happening as we hear some hits and screams. Then we see two white-clad men being tossed out of the back of the van. Gunn swerves to avoid running them over. Lilah into her cell phone: "Shut up! Just shut up! One more excuse from you and I'm gonna bury you alive next to my house so I can hear you screaming. (Sighs) He took her to the hotel? Great. He wants to play with little Miss Time-bomb, I say we let him. Pull the trigger." Bethany bursts into the ruined upstairs corner room of the hotel, followed by Angel. Angel: "Bethany!" Bethany: "It's not true! It's someone else." Angel: "Bethany, I'm sorry. I know Lilah, she's not what she pretends to be." Bethany: "She's my friend!" The open balcony doors slam shut. Cordy: "Angel..." Bethany: "It's not her! You're making it up. You're playing with me! Why does everyone wanna play with me? (Huddles down) I don't wanna play!" Angel crouches down in front of her: "Bethany, you have to control yourself." Bethany: "Don't touch me!" The door behind Cordy slams shut. Cordy: "Maybe she just needs a time-out." Angel: "Bethany..." Bethany: "I don't have to listen." Angel: "Bethany, stop. You can control this." Bethany: "NO!" Angel: "Listen to me! Nobody is controlling you. (He absently bats a can of paint flying at him away) You have the power here. You're gonna kill us, you're gonna die?! Then they win. Don't let them. - Don't let them touch you." Bethany slowly stands up and walks past Angel and Cordy towards the door. Just as she reaches it, it opens - revealing her father standing there. Father: "Hello, rabbit." And in an outside shot we see all the windows of the corner suite blow out as the whole building shakes for a moment. The camera pans from an unconscious Angel up to show Bethany standing in front of her father. Bethany: "Daddy." Father: "God, Bethany, I've been so worried. (Angel stirs a bit) I wouldn't have known were to find you except... You're friend Lilah and I only wanna help you, sweetheart." Plaster begins to rain from the ceiling and walls and a nail works itself out of some wood trim and flies to pierce Cordy's arm. Cordy winces, but doesn't scream. Father: "I know what you can do, Bethany." Cordy pulls the nail out of her arm. Father walking around Bethany into the room: "And I know you don't mean to hurt anyone. (Angel opens his eyes and looks around) You're a good girl. I know that. (Bethany stares at him, eyes wide) No more worries, all right? You're coming back with me, we're gonna be a family again. (More plaster shakes lose, but the father stands untouched) Wouldn't you like that? To stop running all the time? To come back to where people know you, love you? (The walls shake harder) I promise it'll be just like it was before. - I've missed you so much. (Bethany looks like she might start to cry) Shh, rabbit." Bethany's eyes roll back in her head for a moment and everything goes quiet. Angel gets up: "Bethany..." He gets pinned against the wall, silenced. Father: "There you go. (Reaches a hand towards her) Now why don't we go downstairs? Just you and me." Bethany's face hardens and her father slides back from her. Angel comes free from the wall. Her father starts to float up off the floor. Father: "Bethany, what are you doing? Stop it. Put me down." He reaches for his throat as if he is trying to pull a noose free from around it. Father: "I can't - breathe. (To Angel) Help me. Please. Stop her." Angel: "Bethany. You got the power. Use it. Finish it." Father still clutching at his throat: "Hurts. Make it stop." Bethany: "Good-bye." The father flies backwards out of the window with a scream. Angel looks towards Bethany's calm face. The father plummets, slows, and stops to hang a few feet above the sidewalk. Angel watches Bethany. The father drops the rest of the way and Bethany blinks, shakes herself and looks from Angel over at Cordy. Lilah: "You-you think that's it? Poof, you're cured and all you're nightmares are gone?" Bethany is in Lilah's apartment packing her things. Bethany: "I'm not an idiot, Lilah, and I'm not a child." Lilah: "Yes you are, and you need us. Sooner or later your powers are gonna get out of control, and you're gonna need a friend." Bethany: "My friends don't hire men to rape or kidnap me - at least not my close one's anyway." Lilah: "I was trying to make you stronger." Bethany looks Lilah in the eye then stretches a hand out behind her. Lilah stares as the suit case on the bed closes itself and flies into Bethany's hand. Bethany: "Good job." Bethany walks past Lilah. Lilah: "Look, Bethany. Bethany, wait! You could have been someone important!" Angel standing outside the open door of Lilah's apartment: "You got to learn to lose, sweetie." Lilah: "Did I mention you're not invited in?" Bethany standing next to Angel: "Don't try to find me Lilah. I mean it." Lilah: "Our-our firm doesn't want to lose a... you're not... (Points at Angel) He is a vampire, you know." Bethany looks at Angel: "Weird." She leaves. Angel: "Looks like you're gonna have to find someone else's brain to play with." Lilah smiles: "Yeah, we have someone in mind." Angel: "Good night, Lilah." Lilah steps out into the hall to watch Angel open the outside door at the bottom to the steps for Bethany. Lilah: "Sweet dreams." She goes back in slamming the door shut behind her.	Plan: A: Angel; Q: Who befriends Bethany? A: a young girl; Q: Who does Angel befriend after Cordelia receives a vision? A: his safety; Q: What does Angel risk by befriending Bethany? A: L.A.; Q: Where did Bethany run to escape her family? A: a tragic family life; Q: What is Bethany trying to escape? A: her control; Q: What is Bethany's telekinetic abilities out of? A: insidious plans; Q: What do Lilah and Wolfram & Hart have for Bethany's powers? A: the newly resurrected Darla; Q: Who visits Angel at night? A: his abilities; Q: What does Darla's nocturnal visits affect? Summary: After Cordelia receives a vision, Angel befriends a young girl from out of town at the risk of his safety. Bethany, running to L.A. to escape a tragic family life, has telekinetic abilities out of her control which she desperately wants to shed. Unfortunately, Lilah and Wolfram & Hart have insidious plans for Bethany's powers. As Angel works to help her reign in her powers, he receives nocturnal visits from the newly resurrected Darla which affect his abilities.
GLYN JONES 5:50pm - 6:15pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. MUSEUM. EXHIBIT ROOM (The travellers, previously immobile again, come round. BARBARA is the first to spot the change in the room...) BARBARA: (Panicked and upset.) They've gone! DOCTOR: Yes, my dear...and we've arrived! [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. MOROK HEADQUARTERS. GOVERNOR'S OFFICE (The interior of the Governor's office is sparse and functional. On one side of the room is a series of tables with machinery and exhibits on top. The Governor's desk is circular and rests on a small dais. The Governor himself, LOBOS, sits at the desk. He resembles the rest of the white powerful beings - Moroks. Another of his kind walks into the room with a large device that he places on a nearby desk. He then turns to LOBOS.) MOROK TECHNICIAN: Best I could do sir. She'll be good for another hundred years or so. LOBOS: What was wrong with it? MOROK TECHNICIAN: Well, the clasps had broken, rotted. LOBOS: (Wearily.) Like everything on this planet, including us. (He gets up.) Well, I've got two more mimmians before I can go home. Yes, I say it often enough, but it's still two thousand Xeron days...and it sounds more in days. (He looks over the device.) Yeah, I know, I volunteered, you were ordered. If the truth were known, I was just as bored on Morok. (He returns to the desk.) Still it was home, and youth never appreciates what it has. Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do now. Still...let's get on with it, shall we? ... these reports. I don't know. (The door has opened and a MOROK MESSENGER quickly enters the room. He salutes by placing his arm across his chest.) LOBOS: (Testily, not looking up.) I'm the governor of this planet. You're supposed to show some respect and knock. MOROK MESSENGER: I'm sorry sir. The matter's urgent. LOBOS: Nothing's so urgent you can't knock on my door. MOROK MESSENGER: A ship has landed. LOBOS: (Interested.) From home? There was no advance notification. MOROK MESSENGER: Not from the planet Morok - alien. LOBOS: (Smiling.) Alien? Well, this will indeed be a red letter day for the Xeros calendar. Have the crew been detained? MOROK MESSENGER: No sir. They've left the ship. We've found footprints but no trace of them. We were unable to enter the craft but it appears to be uninhabited at the moment. (LOBOS activates a communications control on his desk.) LOBOS: Commander 'B' Division? We have uninvited visitors. (To the MOROK MESSENGER.) How many? MOROK MESSENGER: Unknown, but at least three. LOBOS: (Back into the communicator.) Three or more. Organise a search then detain them for questioning. (He switches the device off.) LOBOS: Visitors? Well, we won't be the only ones looking for them... MOROK TECHNICIAN: The rebels? LOBOS: Rebels? This local rabble? They're children. MOROK TECHNICIAN: Hmm, the "children" as you call them are growing up. LOBOS: When they pose a danger, we will destroy them. Until then, the problem will keep. Nevertheless, they'll try and contact our visitors for help. I must remember to notify the commanders to keep watch. As for the aliens who have just landed, we may even be able to add to the museum. [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. XERON HIDEOUT (In a store room, one of the youthful beings dressed in black walks down some steps from where he has been keeping watch through a doorway and walks up to another. These are Xerons and these two are the ones that failed to see the travellers in the room that contained the Dalek exhibit.) SITA: Tor is late. It's not like him. DAKO: I know. He did contact the group in the next sector? SITA: Yes, but the Moroks are out checking. If they found him missing, they could have pulled him in for questioning. Oh no, he's just been detained, stop worrying about it. DAKO: Stop worrying? Look, we're just waiting to be rounded up. SITA: I suppose Tor knows what he's doing. DAKO: Huh, does he? I'm beginning to wonder. I know the Moroks have ray guns and we're unarmed but our only chance is to strike! (A third of the Xerons, TOR, walks down the steps behind them, unseen by DAKO.) DAKO: Well, the longer we leave it the greater the risk. TOR: (Startling DAKO.) But we'll only get one opportunity Dako, and when we attack we've got to win. SITA: Tor, you're late. TOR: I know, something happened; the Moroks have discovered a spaceship. SITA: A spaceship? Landed here? DAKO: Where from? TOR: Well, nobody knows yet. They'd already left it before the ship was found. SITA: It doesn't make much difference, they'll contact the Moroks anyway. TOR: No, I don't think they will. They've had time to do that and they haven't. Lobos is organising a search. SITA: A search? TOR: Mmm. DAKO: Tor, I don't understand. Look, everybody knows what this planet's used for - a museum. Well, if they came here knowing that, and they must have done, it can only be to see the Moroks. TOR: Huh! The universe is huge. There must be millions of planets that have never heard of the Moroks. SITA: They could have landed here by accident. TOR: Well, either way, it's our chance. Well, don't you see? They'll have weapons - weapons we can use. SITA: If they agree to help us. TOR: They will Sita, when they hear our story. DAKO: But the Moroks are searching. You've already said that. They'll find them first. TOR: No, I don't think they'll want to be discovered when they find out about this place. SITA: If they hide, they'll hide from us too. TOR: (Sighs.) I know, but we've got to try. Come on! (The three run up the steps and out of the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. MUSEUM. EXHIBIT ROOM (IAN, BARBARA and VICKI lift a large glass case off its plinth. A futuristic gun is the exhibit underneath that they are trying to reach.) BARBARA: (Finding the glass heavy.) Ah, oh! IAN: Can you hold it? BARBARA: Yes. VICKI: Hurry up, it's heavy! Oh! (IAN takes the gun out.) IAN: All right. (They lower the case back down.) IAN: Good. (IAN examines the gun.) IAN: Hey, I wonder if it works, hey? (He pretends to use the gun making a staccato firing noise like a child. The DOCTOR steps forward.) DOCTOR: Chesterton, this is no time to be playing Cowboys and Indians. IAN: Doctor, I might have shot a hole right in the middle of you! DOCTOR: Is that so? We have a very serious problem on our hands, and what are you doing with this anyway? Put it back in there! Hmm! IAN: No, Doctor. This might come in very useful. We might be able to bluff our way out of here with this. BARBARA: If we want to get out of here... IAN: Mmm? VICKI: Oh, we can't stay here, Barbara, can we? BARBARA: We must do whatever is necessary to keep us out of those cases. VICKI: I don't see that staying here would stop it. BARBARA: We must break the chain of events that led up to it - and going out of here might be just what we're not supposed to do. DOCTOR: Yes, I think Barbara's quite right, my dear. If we walk out of here, it could change the future. Perhaps if we wait until we're taken out, that might change the future. The point is, what are we going to do? Which is it to be? VICKI: But Doctor, if we find the TARDIS and leave here, then we won't have to worry about being turned into dummies at all. IAN: That's a good point, Doctor... DOCTOR: It isn't a good point at all, my dear boy. The fact is the future - our future, whether we leave here in the TARDIS or not. Hmm! IAN: (Thoughtful.) Yes...I see...it's a difficult problem, isn't it? DOCTOR: Yes, it is. VICKI: There's no answer. But, Doctor, we've got to decide on something... DOCTOR: Decide, my dear? Spinning a coin would be...just as appropriate. (The DOCTOR walks a few steps away to a pylon type structure. He stands within it.) DOCTOR: Who would...want to put us on show or display? I wonder, hmm? (He sits down and ponders. A few feet away, the others watch.) BARBARA: The Doctor's curious - that means we stay. VICKI: You've lost a button. IAN: Hmm? Oh, so I have. DOCTOR: (Overhearing.) Lost a button? Hmm, that's interesting. Yes, that's very interesting. Hmm. IAN: (Stepping over.) Doctor, why do you always show the greatest interest in the least important things, eh? DOCTOR: The least important things sometimes, my dear boy, lead to the greatest discoveries. Like steam, for instance, coming out of a kettle. Yes! I was with him at the time. Er, let's see now, er, yes what was that fellows name? Erm, erm , erm... BARBARA: James Watt. DOCTOR: Mmm? Yes, you know, losing a button could change the future. Mmm. It's a pity, my dear boy, you didn't discover it was missing in the cases when we were standing there st, er, staring at each other. IAN: Doctor, I'd just come face to face with myself! I wasn't counting the buttons on my jacket! DOCTOR: Yes, I quite understand that. (Getting up.) Well, I think we should leave the museum, try and find the TARDIS and make sure that it doesn't end up in here. Are you all agreeable. BARBARA: Mmm. VICKI: Yes! IAN: Yes. DOCTOR: Come along then, come along! (He leads them out of the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. MUSEUM. CORRIDOR (They step into a corridor.) DOCTOR: All right, my boy. You lead the way. IAN: Yes. (IAN, still holding the gun, steps forward but, unsure, suddenly stops and turns back.) IAN: Well which way? Have you any, er, particular fancy? DOCTOR: The way we came in, of course! IAN: And which way was that? DOCTOR: Your memory is like a sieve, dear boy! We turned right and then left. VICKI: No, no, we turned right when we came in. IAN: No, we turned left when we came in. BARBARA: Well actually, all the doors and corridors are exactly alike. DOCTOR: I beg to differ, You see, you must turn right before you turn left. IAN: Doctor, it depends which way you're facing before you start turning at all! DOCTOR: (Pointing.) We were facing from there, down here, therefore... IAN: Doctor, why don't you admit it - you are just as lost as the rest of us? DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose I...must confess, I am. IAN: Ahh! DOCTOR: Anyway, I suggest we take Vicki's advice. We can always re-trace our steps. (He point to a door behind them.) So, we go this way and turn right, hmm? Right. (VICKI now leads the way.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. MUSEUM. CORRIDOR BARBARA: Well, I don't remember this. VICKI: I do. IAN: Oh-oh! You're just saying that because we followed your advice! VICKI: Oh no, I'm not! (Points.) I remember that thing being over there. DOCTOR: Yes, I think Vicki's quite correct. Yes, I have a distinct impression, we've all been here before. (He thinks.) Hmm, yea...er, yes, of course! Yes, yes, yes, yes, I know where we are now. (Laughs.) IAN: You do? Well, which way do we go? DOCTOR: (Unsure.) Er, er, ergh, ergh... VICKI: (Prompting him.) Straight ahead... DOCTOR: Straight...straight ahead, dear boy! Straight ahead! Yes, turn right. (He laughs.) (He walks between the two teachers and follows VICKI. IAN and BARBARA laugh knowingly to each other and follow.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. MOROK HEADQUARTERS. GOVERNOR'S OFFICE (The communicator on LOBOS'S desk buzzes. He switches it on.) LOBOS: Yes? MOROK COMMANDER: (OOV: over tannoy.) Er, commander 'K' division; alien spaceship in hand sir. LOBOS: What news of the aliens...repeat, what news of the aliens? MOROK COMMANDER: (OOV: over tannoy.) Footsteps were found near the museum. The search is proceeding. LOBOS: Good. Find them. [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. MUSEUM. CORRIDOR (The travellers continue their journey back to the entrance way.) BARBARA: It's like a maze. IAN: Well, if we keep going, we must eventually come to an entrance. DOCTOR: No more talking please. I think we're nearly there. (Behind them, the three Xerons step out of a side passageway and watch them as they walk off.) DOCTOR: And remember, we can be seen by now. (Behind them...) SITA: That must be them. DAKO: And they're armed! TOR: Quick! Back here! (He pushes them back into the side passage.) TOR: I'll see which way they go. Then we'll try and cut them off. DAKO: They had a ray gun. I saw it. TOR: Well, that's no reason to sound downhearted. We were hoping they would. DAKO: Well, that's all very well but how do we know they're friendly? They might shoot us on sight. TOR: Well, we'll have to try and make contact before we show ourselves. SITA: How. TOR: Well, we'll catch either the old man or the girl. W...we...we can explain and...and. then, let then let them introduce us to the others. SITA: Mmm, it's a good idea. (TOR peeps round the corner.) TOR: Look quick, they've gone to the right - let's get them! (They run off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. MUSEUM. CORRIDOR (The DOCTOR is first to walk down another corridor. He stops to examine an exhibit with his monocle. IAN cautiously leads BARBARA and VICKI.) IAN: All clear. (BARBARA follows IAN. VICKI sees that the DOCTOR is absorbed in the exhibit.) VICKI: Doctor? DOCTOR: Mmm? Yes, yes, all right child. (VICKI walks off. The DOCTOR continues to examine the exhibit for a minute. He chuckles and starts to walk away. Behind him, a door slides open and he is quickly pulled through. The door slides shut again.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. MUSEUM. ROOM (DAKO kneels down and examines the DOCTOR who lies apparently unconscious on the floor.) DAKO: You've killed him, Sita! SITA: I couldn't have! I hardly touched him! He must have fainted. (Unseen, the DOCTOR opens his eyes.) TOR: Shut up, both of you. There's no time for arguments. (The DOCTOR shuts his eyes quickly. TOR kneels down and looks at him, then stands up again.) TOR: Stay here and watch him, Dako, in case he recovers. DAKO: Me? Where are you going? TOR: To try and find something to bring him around. Well, don't worry - we won't be long. Come on Sita. (They open the door and leave the room, sliding the door shut behind them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. MUSEUM. CORRIDOR (The DOCTOR'S absence has been noticed...) BARBARA: Well, he was following us. IAN: I know that, but where did he stop? (Neither of the two women answer.) IAN: Well, surely one or other of you saw or heard something? BARBARA: Oh, come on Ian! You weren't that far in front! IAN: Barbara, I am not blaming you! BARBARA: (Snapping.) Well, then stop getting irritable! IAN: I am not irritable! I...oh, I'm sorry. Of course I'm irritable. I just wish he'd stay with us for once, that's all. BARBARA: Well, he was looking in one of the cases. I suppose we could have left him behind. VICKI: I bet he's been captured. IAN: (Dismissively.) Captured! BARBARA: By whom? VICKI: I don't know...those people we saw, I suppose. BARBARA: (Sharply.) Oh, Vicki! You're just letting your imagination run away with you. IAN: There were four of us in those cases, not one. BARBARA: Well, what do we do now? Which is the way into those cases? Staying here, going back or still trying to find our way out? IAN: Oh, Barbara, asking a lot of questions is not going to change our future. BARBARA: (Angrily.) Well, if we don't find a few answers, we won't have a future! IAN: All right! All right! I agree - we've got to do something. I say we go on. BARBARA: All right. VICKI: (Tired of the arguments.) Oh, good! That way I think. (She walks between the two teachers and back down the corridor. They follow.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. MUSEUM. ROOM (TOR and SITA arrive back at the room, TOR carrying a large glass. They slide open the door only to see DAKO lying bound and gagged on the floor. They rush to release him.) TOR: Well, what happened, Dako? DAKO: I don't know. I turned my back for a second, the next thing I... TOR: Well, was it the old man? DAKO: I don't know! SITA: Did he go outside? DAKO: I keep telling you - I didn't see anything. Huh! One minute was silence and the next minute a whirlwind hit me. TOR: Well, he must have gone to join the others. SITA: We'll have to see if we can find him. Don't forget they're still armed. TOR: Oh, we'll have to take our chances this time. Otherwise the Moroks will get them first. Come on. (They rush out, sliding the door shut behind them. In the room, to one side, is the Dalek exhibit. A familiar voice comes from within the casing imitating a Dalek voice...) DOCTOR: (OOV: within the casing.) I fooled them all! I am the master! (The arm extends back and forth as the lid shoots open and the DOCTOR emerges laughing...) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. MUSEUM. CORRIDOR (Two MOROK GUARDS patrol the museum, searching for the time travellers. They pass the sliding door to the room where the DOCTOR is hiding. As they walk on, the door slides back and the old man emerges, still laughing at his victory. He does not see the MOROKS until it is too late. They point their guns at him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. MUSEUM. EXHIBIT ROOM (IAN, BARBARA and VICKI have arrived back at the room which contains the pylon type structure.) BARBARA: It's no good Ian, I...I can't go on. (She sees the pylon.) Well, we passed this thing ages ago. We're just going round and round in circles. VICKI: How long have we been in here? IAN: Oh, it doesn't matter how long. There's only one thing that's certain. We're getting nearer and nearer to those cases. (A thought strikes him.) The Minotaur! (He rushes at BARBARA and pulls her cardigan off her.) IAN: The Minotaur! BARBARA: Ian, what are you doing? IAN: Well, don't you two remember your mythology? When Theseus went into the labyrinth, he took with him a ball of thread so that he could use it to retrace his steps. BARBARA: Yes, but Ian, we haven't just arrived. We've been here for hours. IAN: That doesn't matter. From now on we won't go round and round in circles. Here Vicki - hold it. Come on. (VICKI grabs the other end of the cardigan and they start pulling.) BARBARA: Well, you might ask! I mean, that's a good cardigan! IAN: Oh, er, sorry, well, er, may we? BARBARA: Yes...yes, I suppose so! VICKI: We'll leave a trail of thread, you see? But Ian! Ian! IAN: Mmm? VICKI: If anyone sees it, they'll be able to follow it and catch us. IAN: Oh, we'll get caught anyway if we don't get out of here soon. Don't worry about that. Let's get this... VICKI: I suppose so. (Unable to pull the threads apart, IAN tries with his teeth, then gives up.) IAN: How do you undo this? BARBARA: Oh, give it to me! Do you have a penknife? IAN: Oh, penknife? (He gets one out of his jacket pocket.) Yes, there we are. (BARBARA takes it and starts cutting at the cardigan to free a thread.) IAN: Ah yes... [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. MOROK HEADQUARTERS. CELL (The DOCTOR has been placed in a darkened cell. He examines the walls trying to find a way out. Giving up, he sits in a semi-circular perspex chair which is in the middle of the room bathed in a pool of light. The chair has several electronic controls built into the arms. The DOCTOR is pondering his situation and, without him noticing, two arms extend from the chair and hold him inside it. The DOCTOR tries to stand up and now notices that he is trapped.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. MUSEUM. EXHIBIT ROOM (The Xerons have found the thread from the cardigan which extends from the pylon.) SITA: What's this? TOR: They're leaving a trail. SITA: Why? TOR: Well, they must have missed the old man. Yes - this was put here for him to follow them! DAKO: No, I don't think so. They'd have come back and looked for him. TOR: Well, whatever the reason, it's a trail. Now trails are meant to be followed - this way. (They pursue the trail.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. MOROK HEADQUARTERS. CELL (The wall facing the DOCTOR slides back. LOBOS sits facing him at a desk which has various controls on it.) LOBOS: Welcome to Xeros - a planet in the Morok empire. What is your name? (The DOCTOR doesn't answer.) LOBOS: Very well. Mine is Lobos. I am the governor of this planet. DOCTOR: "Curator of a museum" is a better title, hmm? LOBOS: (Smiling.) Ah, so now you choose to speak, good. Yes, Xeros is a museum. A lasting memorial to the achievements of the Morok civilisation. DOCTOR: Really? Well, from my observation it, er, seems to, er, arouse, er, very little interest. LOBOS: People tire of their heritage. Three hundred mimmians ago, sightseers filled this planet, marvelling at what they saw. Today, the occasional spaceship from Morok calls. DOCTOR: Perhaps if you reduced the price of admission! Hmm? (He laughs.) LOBOS: You have a sense of humour too! Unfortunately, that is not the reason. Our civilisation rests on its laurels. Galactic conquests are a thing of the past. Life, it is now said, is purely a thing to enjoy. DOCTOR: "Decline and fall of the Roman empire" - oh yes, it's happened before, yes. In many galaxies far beyond your reach. LOBOS: Why do you come here? DOCTOR: Exploration. LOBOS: Ah! Then you are a scientist like myself? It makes a change to have someone intelligent and enquiring to talk to. DOCTOR: I'm charmed! LOBOS: Where have you come from? DOCTOR: Why? LOBOS: You don't want to answer? Very well, I'll try another. Where are your companions? (The DOCTOR laughs quietly. LOBOS flicks a switch on his desk.) LOBOS: We can get all the information we require without the need to resort to brute force. Of course, your co-operation would have made things easier, but it isn't essential. (Sternly.) I will repeat the question; Where are your companions? (The DOCTOR laughs again. LOBOS looks at a small monitor on his desk and then activates a communications device.) LOBOS: Commander 'B' division? MOROK COMMANDER: (OOV: over tannoy.) 'B' Division commander here sir. LOBOS: Proceed immediately to corridor 417. Detain three humans - one man, one woman and a young girl. MOROK COMMANDER: (OOV: over tannoy.) Message received and understood. It will be dealt with immediately. (The smile has disappeared from the DOCTOR'S face. LOBOS turns the monitor round so that the DOCTOR can see it. On the screen is a still image of IAN, BARBARA and VICKI in one of the corridors of the museum.) LOBOS: A simple matter of thought selection. By asking a question, I plant an image in your mind. No matter what you say, as long as you're seated in that chair, I will see your mental pictures reflected. You see, it is quite useless for you to lie to me. Now shall we return to the questioning? How did you get here? (LOBOS stares in amazement at the image that now appears on the scanner - a Victorian penny-farthing bicycle! The DOCTOR laughs again...) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. MUSEUM. CORRIDOR (IAN unravels the thread as they make their way through the museum again, but the thread has now run out.) IAN: The end, I'm afraid. BARBARA: It didn't work, did it? IAN: Oh, I don't know. We...we didn't go round and round in circles, we didn't back-track. VICKI: If only they had exit signs like they do in ordinary museums. BARBARA: Well, I suppose we'll be stuck here until... (She stops, unwilling to finish her sentence. IAN lays a comforting hand on her shoulder, then walks a little further off.) BARBARA: Well, may be the Doctor's wrong and you can't change the future. VICKI: Oh, don't say that, Barbara. I can't bear to think of such an awful thing happening. BARBARA: Well, I can't bear to think of it either, but we can't... (IAN comes back.) IAN: It didn't work, eh? You come with me! (The follow him into the next room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. MUSEUM. ENTRANCE PASSAGE (They have succeeded in finding the museum entrance. IAN slides the entrance doors apart and they look outside. The sound of a crowd can be heard outside.) VICKI: The TARDIS! They've got the TARDIS! [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. MOROK HEADQUARTERS. CELL (The interrogation is not proceeding as LOBOS would wish it to...) DOCTOR: Well? No more questions? Hmm? LOBOS: (Angrily.) Where have you come from?! DOCTOR: If you take a look into your screen, perhaps you will find that out, hmm? (A moving image of seals on a rock in the sea appears. LOBOS is stunned. The DOCTOR smiles...) LOBOS: What are these creatures? DOCTOR: Just some old friends of mine! (A still image of a seal now appears.) DOCTOR: Hmm! LOBOS: But these are amphibious creatures! You are not an amphibian! DOCTOR: Oh! I'm not, am I?! Hmm? (A new image appears - the DOCTOR striking a pose dressed in a Victorian bathing costume and straw boater! The communications device buzzes. LOBOS, scowling, answers it.) LOBOS: Yes? MOROK COMMANDER: (OOV: over tannoy.) Commander 'B' division - no fugitive aliens in corridor 417. LOBOS: You fools! You let them escape! All available divisions - priority search. These aliens must be found at once - maximum security! DOCTOR: Don't blame your men. I think my friends most probably left the area long before you put questions to me. I imagined them still there, of course, because that was the last place I saw them. So you see, your little toy...isn't...infallible, is it? Hmm? LOBOS: (Angrily.) So you see fit to joke with me, eh? Well, let us give you something to joke about, shall we? You are of no further use to me and would make a perfect specimen for our museums. (A new image appears on the monitor - that of the DOCTOR in the display case. LOBOS sees this.) LOBOS: Yes Doctor, I see you take my meaning. (He presses a control.) Guards. (Two MOROK GUARDS step into the cell.) LOBOS: Take him to the preparation room. (The GUARDS activate a control in the chair, the arms withdraw and they lift a nervous looking DOCTOR to his feet...)	Plan: A: the planet Xeros; Q: Where do the Doctor and his companions arrive after the TARDIS jumps a time track? A: the planet; Q: What do the Morok invaders rule? A: exhibits; Q: What are the Doctor and his companions' future selves displayed as in the museum? A: the warlike Morok invaders; Q: Who now rules the planet? A: Vicki; Q: Who helps the native Xerons obtain arms and revolt against the Moroks? A: The revolution; Q: What succeeds and the travellers go on their way, confident that the future has been changed? Summary: he TARDIS jumps a time track and the travellers arrive on the planet Xeros. There they discover their own future selves displayed as exhibits in a museum established as a monument to the galactic conquests of the warlike Morok invaders who now rule the planet. When time shifts back to normal, they realise that they must do everything they can to avert this potential future. Vicki helps the native Xerons obtain arms and revolt against the Moroks. The revolution succeeds and the travellers go on their way, confident that the future has been changed.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Boyd: The only thing that's gonna save you right now is the truth. The truth about your mama's money. Dickie: Have you heard of Ellstin Limehouse? I'm the only one he will give it to. That money dies right here with me. Ava: Boyd instructed that you burn the weed. Devil: We ain't burning it. Ava: Those were Boyd's orders. Raylan: Wade Messer. Keep your hands where I can see them. So, how you been keeping yourself? Raylan: Oh, pretty good. Joined the marshals service. Marshals service, huh? Boy, I'd have never guessed that. Raylan: Huh. [ Grunts ] Dickie: Whoo! Right there. Nobody gonna tell me that wasn't no base hit. Wynn: To what do I owe the pleasure? Raylan: Deputy Gutterson has some questions for you. Wynn: As I recall, last time we met, you told me next conversation we had wasn't gonna be a conversation. Raylan: This is a different conversation. You had a good thing going here, Emmitt. But you let go of the rope. You know me now? Wynn: Yeah. Sometime it come out better than others, but when it do, boy, it is a sweet, spicy, smoky, juicy, tender piece of heaven, I do say so myself. And despite all that, I know it ain't good enough for you to come all the way out here alone this time of night to have some. Ava: I'm afraid you figured me out. I ain't here for the barbecue. Yeah, well, whatever reason, it's, uh, it's nice to see you, Ava. Ava: And you, Mr. Limehouse. Mm-hmm. Well, you looking well. Ava: Better than the last time we saw each other, anyway. Ava: You're not. But it ain't because of anything Bowman did if that's what you're thinking. Oh, no. No. I heard what happened to your husband. Yeah, the paper said you done it at the dinner table. Ava: Hmm. Shame of it was wasting all that ham. I was thinking the shame of it was I wouldn't be seeing you around here anymore. Ava: Well, that's sweet. That, young lady, here, is the truth. So, you got yourself a new boyfriend yet? Ava: Funny. That's, uh, actually why I'm here. I think you should meet. Devil: That black bstrd even twitches, we gonna mow them all down. Ava: Ellstin Limehouse. Boyd Crowder. You boys play nice. You know, uh, my father and then, you know, like his father before him and so on, they, uh -- they always kept armed guard on this bridge at all times. Back then, it was a necessary precaution. I mean, not so much anymore. Though, there are still those who wish my people harm and those who advocate for the restoration of white supremacy in the land. You believe that? Boyd: I-I didn't come all the way out here to discuss ideology. Huh. I think maybe you best tell me what you did come here to discuss. Boyd: Well, it has come to my attention that you are in possession of something that belonged to Mags Bennett. Now, if that were true, what you know of me, you think I'd be telling you other people's business? Boyd: Oh. Not the living. No. But poor Mags is now on the other side. Yeah, well, some agreements transcend the grave, Mr. Crowder. Boyd: Well, that's an agreement that you made with Mags, but you continue to honor it because of her son, Dickie. Now, it seems to me that if Dickie were to join Mags in the afterlife, that there would be no person for that money to go to -- except maybe you and me. [ Breathes deeply ] I'm disappointed to hear you say that, Mr. Crowder. I was hoping that maybe you'd come here to discuss other business. Could you give my regards to Arlo Givens? I believe last time I saw him was on this very bridge. Night. Boyd: Uh, to satiate my curiosity, would you mind telling me what other business you think we might have to discuss? [ Laughs ] You know, I was figuring maybe you need a little help with your, uh, weed problem. Boyd: Arlo, just 'cause you're an old man, the only reason you're not getting one of these. Next time Ava gives you an order, like "Burn the weed," you follow it. Let's go. ♪ On this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ God get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard ♪ ♪ fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪ Raylan: It's got two sinks. Winona: I-I heard about that. Raylan: Double-bowl vanity. That's what they called it. Winona: That's fancy. Raylan: Figure that, separate commode area... could add three, four years onto our relationship. Givens. Tom: Hey, Raylan. It's Tom Bergen. Winona: You just said "commode," didn't you? Raylan: I thought it sounded better than "crapper." Tom: You doing anything right now? Raylan: No. Nothing. Tom: Wayne Messer's been spotted. We're setting up a road block. I can give you the location. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Yeah. Just text it to me. Um, I can be there in an hour. Winona: You're not gonna see the house, are you? Raylan: Not immediately. Winona: [ Sighing ] Okay. Raylan: I'm sorry. Winona: You don't have to apologize. It's your job. Go do your job. Raylan: You like these guys for how many armed robberies? We're looking after, like, 12. Raylan: Doesn't sound like Wade Messer. Guy that strung you up in a tree and tried to hit you with a bat? Raylan: He strung me up in a tree. He didn't hit me with the bat. You heard about that football player killed all them dogs? Got a few years in the pen for it. I heard about it a little, I guess. See, to me, that ain't right. I mean, they just dogs. I know dudes killed people, got less than two years for it. Who? What? Who do you know that killed people, got less than two years for it? That don't look like no accident. Hey, Raylan! Say what? That guy down there with the hat, his name's Raylan Givens. He's a marshal. J.T., might be a good time to get out of here. Jesus! God damn it! [ Tires squeal ] Raylan: Come on. [ Panting ] Show me your hands! Show me your hands! Where's Messer? Dewey: Huh! I don't punch like a girl. You punch like a girl. Dickie: I punch like a...a. That's because you can't handle being punched like a man. Dewey: Oh! Dickie! You caught me in the nose! Dickie: [ Laughing ] I'm so sorry. I think it hurt -- Look, you caught me. Ho! Whoa, whoa! You two are an awfully cute couple. Dewey: Aw, sh1t, man. It ain't like that. Why don't you get some exercise, Crowe? Dewey: I'm good. Did it look like I was asking, numbnuts? Dickie: No. He's good. Thank you. You know, uh, incidents like the one with Crowder -- phew -- they happen in this place all the time. If it wasn't for us kindhearted guards looking out for you, life in this facility would be more miserable and violent than it already is. Dickie: Ooh. Officer. I...believe you're trying to scare me. Hmm. Dickie: I mean, you're doing your best. You're doing your best, but what-- what I don't understand is, why would that be? Ha ha. Overheard every word of that conversation between you and Crowder, and I want that money. Dickie: Okay. [ Sobbing ] [ Laughing ] [ Laughing ] I ain't go no money, bro! You think -- you think I got money? Let me tell you something. What you were listening to in there, okay, that is what you call a ruse. I was doing whatever I needed to do to keep that psychopath from cutting me open, man. I -- I ain't got no money, man. [ Laughs ] That's actually kind of funny. 'Cause at first, I thought the same thing. I thought, "Oh, this is a..." A "ruse"? Dickie: Ruse. That's right. Yeah. Dickie: Yeah. So, I made a phone call, and I called a buddy of mine who is in the local down in your neck of the woods. He told me that your dead mama was one big shot-caller. So... so, you get me that money, or life in here will take a turn for the disastrous. Dickie: Let me tell you something. If you truly had been paying attention to my encounter with Boyd Crowder, then you would know that even if there were money -- which...there ain't -- how am I gonna get my hands on that money, you think, while I am inside here? You follow me? Mm-hmm. Dickie: So -- so, you and Boyd and everybody else who wants a piece of me, you're just gonna have to h-h-hold your horses -- that's right -- until I am home, sweet out of here. Is that all? This here's a 24-piece combination set -- hardly ever been used! I'm aware of that. My offer is still $3. 3 bucks?! Come on, man! I ain't giving this sh1t away! I'm sorry. Did I come into your place of business and ask you to take a crappy wrench set off my hands? [ Sighs ] Okay. We're done. Huh? I don't want your wrench set. Get out. Asshole. Yeah. Kiss your mama with that mouth? I sure do...if she were still alive. [ Lock turns ] What happened? They had a roadblock there. It was waiting for us. Jesus Christ! [ Laughing ] You idiot. [ Laughing ] Beckett, shut up. Where's J.T.? Tom: So, you come all the way out here to let Messer get away? Raylan: One of your boys let him get away. I got the driver. Besides, these boots aren't made for running. Tom: And yet, chasing fugitives is a marshal's primary function. [ Children fussing ] Raylan: It's ironic, isn't it? Tom: Hey! Dull roar. Raylan: "Bring your kids to work" day? Tom: "Wife's sicker than sh1t" day. Raylan: That explains the fried chicken for breakfast. Tom: All this crap's stolen. Truck itself's a dead end, but those plates turn up on toll-booth cameras every few weeks between here and Ankfort. Raylan: Dixie mafia. Tom: On the receiving end, probably. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Tom: Word is somebody's giving addicts laundry lists of swag to steal. Pays them in oxy. Raylan: Huh. Tom: What are you thinking? Raylan: Well, I always knew Messer was a bit of a drunk. Tom: Now he's looking like an addict to me. Raylan: You know what they say the difference is? Tom: [ Chuckles ] Raylan: A drunk will steal your wallet and feel like sh1t about it. Tom: Addict will steal your wallet and help you look for it. Raylan: Help you look for it. Tom: [ Chuckles ] These days in this county, a lot of folks will help you look for your wallet. Raylan: I guess Messer's one of them. Tom: Yeah. Hey, you want us to hold on to that J.T. fella -- you know, the one you did manage to get-- so you can question him. Raylan: Why's that? Tom: Just posted bail about five minutes ago. Raylan: I'd like to know who posted his bail. Tom: All right. You sorry sack of monkey sh1t. Least he was able to get away. It was his fault I got caught. I don't want to hear it. You say anything to the cops? Anything at all? No. I didn't see him say nothing. I ask you? Well? Not a word. Here. You aren't wearing a wire or anything, are you? No. He's not wearing a wire, boss. I already checked him. Well, that's why I'm checking again -- 'cause you did it. [ Laughs ] That's a good one, boss. [ Sighs ] I'm truly sorry, Mr. Fogle. Oh. You know what? Don't be. I mean, it's my fault, really. Work with addicts, sh1t is bound to fall on your head. I'm -- I'm hurting awful bad. [ Laughs ] He gets arrested, my truck gets confiscated, and he still wants his little pill. I'll go get you something real nice right now if you want. I heard Ruth crane just got herself a flat-screen. You win, you get a pill. You lose... well, I'll put a pill on your casket for you. [ Laughing ] Yeah. Make them sing for their supper. Shut up, Wally. Ain't there something else? Come on. One pull. [ Sniffs ] [ Gun cocks ] [ Breathing deeply ] [ Exhales sharply ] [ Breathing heavily ] One more. Huh? You heard me. Pull it again. That ain't how Russian roulette works. You're not playing Russian roulette, dumb sh1t. You're playing Harlan roulette. [ Laughs ] Come on, Mr. Fogle. What? You want to play? Huh? I'm sorry. I heard you say, "Oh, come on, Mr. Fogle!" It sounded like what you wanted is you wanted to have the gun 'cause you can if you want. No. No, sir. J.T., give it. No, second thought, you keep it, J.T. You're the one that got arrested. I already went once. I go again, odds ain't good. Come on, now. They're not that bad. 1 in 5. I mean, in your condition with all the oxy you do, you wouldn't live a few more years anyway. [ Laughs ] Hey! Tell you what I'll do. You pull that trigger again, I'll give you this whole bottle. You two can share it. [ Pills rattle ] Huh? Mm. Go. [ Gun cocks ] [ Breathing heavily ] [ Grunts ] [ Both laughing ] I'm sorry. [ Laughter ] He wet himself! [ Screams ] [ Gun clicking ] [ Laughs ] Oh! Boom! That's right, boy! You actually thought I was gonna let you kill yourself in my office? [ Breathing sharply ] Please, Mr. Fogle. Please, Mr. Fogle. [ Gun clicks ] Maybe it's just your lucky day, son. [ Gun clicking ] Or maybe not. You two dump the body [Sighs] And clean up this mess. Well, I never seen a man shot like that before. I heard about it plenty. Never seen it. You know, he bled a whole lot more than I thought he would. How many people you seen Fogle kill? Just dig the whole, Messer. Mr. Limehouse asked we give this to you. Boyd: Oh, now, the way I see it, you boys are doing me a favor by taking all this off my hands. Mr. Limehouse doesn't like to be in anyone's debt. Boyd: You give him my regards. Devil: You was gonna turn down that coon's money? Boyd: There can't be more than $5,000 in here. Split four ways, you think you can retire on that? Devil: That's more than what we would have had if we'd have burned the pot like you wanted. Boyd: Why do you think I wanted it, Devil? Limehouse knew we had that pot. And if he did, you can bet plenty of other people did, too. Now, what if a cop came by you want we should all go to jail so that you can make $1,000. You think that sounds like smart business? This is your score. You help them load that weed. Right now. Now. Arlo: You better go, boy. Boyd: Go on. Devil: [ Mutters ] Arlo: Just here to make money-- same as the rest of us. Boyd: Oh, you think I don't have plans to get this crew paid, Arlo? Arlo: If you do, I sure as hell haven't heard them. You haven't even told us where the hell Johnny is. Unless I missed something. [ Breathes deeply ] Boyd: You know, my father, he considered himself a Harlan criminal...But, in fact, he became nothing more than a middleman lining the coffers of the folks in Frankfort and Miami. [SCENE_BREAK] Ava, could you come in here for a minute, please, darling? And, in the end, this association cost him his life, but we will not make that mistake. We will not work with outsiders. We will protect Harlan. We will control every aspect of crime within its boundaries -- protection, pills, robbing and gambling. We will be meticulous, and we will be clean. No more smash-and-grabs and no more bad decisions. Now, as to the whores, well, my father ran them, and he ran them well. We will not -- not just because of Ava's objections, but because these are rock-hard times for the working man, and he's just trying to stay level to get his pills. Now, make no mistake about it. Everybody sitting at this table, we are all in it together in the service of the almighty dollar. Arlo: That's a fine speech, but we're gonna need more than just us. Boyd: Oh, that we will, and I've already taken steps in that direction. Now, I'd like to discuss today's business. We're going to reclaim something that rightfully belongs to the Crowder family. You see, for years, the focus of the oxy business has been the Florida pill mills. That pipeline is drying up, and we are gonna fill that void. Wynn: They weren't tracking users in Florida. That's what made it so easy to get pills. Kentucky, they do. That's why I came down here, Wynn. I pitched an idea to the Detroit colleagues, and they are backing me. You see, we're gonna take all this furniture and move it out. We're gonna load it up with computers and printers, make I.D.'s, MRIs, x-rays, medical records, and then we are going to Harlan. We'll set up mobile trailers, rotate doctors in and out. If it gets hot, we move. The deal we make with the addicts is simple. We fill their prescriptions at the regular price. They get half the pills. We ship the other half to Detroit where we charge 10 times the price. You see, Wynn? That is why it's called "organized crime." [ Cellphone rings ] Wynn: How soon can we get setup? Hey, buddy. What's going on? At the office. No -- just the usual, boring stuff. Wynn: Bathroom? Uh, down the hall to the right. How's hockey? That's my boy. You crushing them? [ Man whimpering ] Wynn. Other door, pal. Yeah. No, I think you're gonna love it down here. The schools are great. I know you don't like school too much, but trust me on this. [ Whimpering continues ] [SCENE_BREAK] Raylan: Ah. Just starting to wonder if anyone worked here. Just me. Raylan: Hey, uh, who drives that Vette? Oh, that's mine. Raylan: And you work here? I'm the owner. Glen Fogle. Raylan: That explains it. Nice car. [ Chuckles ] Yeah, I used to own one of them European sports cars. On a weekly basis, somebody would be calling me a douche bag or faggot or some derogatory sh1t, but now people, they just see it, and they say, "Nice car." Raylan: Is Wally working today? No. Like I said, just me. Raylan: How much you pay him? [ Laughs ] Why? You looking for work? Raylan: Well, I'm looking for someone. Fella named Wade Messer. Never heard of him. Raylan: Well, he and this other dude, J.T., wanted on suspicion of armed robberies. J.T. got himself arrested this morning. Your employee Wally posted his bail. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Chuckles ] If that's true, I am most certainly paying my employees too much. Raylan: What you got in the back, there? Oh, the...Back room, uh, that's not for customers. Raylan: Customer deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens. So, this Wade... Raylan: Wade Messer. ...Messer. He's a fugitive? Raylan: He is. Yeah, well, you got a warrant, there, marshal? Raylan: It's just a nice, friendly visit. Afraid without a warrant, this is friendly as I get. Raylan: [ Laughs ] Funny, 'cause I came here 'cause I'm looking for my buddy Wade, but the way you're acting... Makes me think maybe the person I'm actually looking for is you. Hmm. Raylan: [ Snaps fingers ] In fact, it just occurs to me if I was running a scam, shipping stolen goods out of town, a pawn shop would be the perfect place to hide the swag in plain sight. I'll tell you, if I ever break bad, I will keep that in mind. Raylan: See you around, Glen Fogle. [ Door opens, closes ] Wynn: Sounds like things have gotten pretty exciting down there, Glen. I don't have any hot merchandise here. J.T. is out of the picture. I got the other one under control, but this marshal seems like he's just gonna keep coming at me. Says he's gonna get a warrant. Who's that? Wynn: It's the pawn-shop owner down in Harlan. Raylan Givens has been sniffing around. Cowboy marshal. The one with that -- Oh, with the hat. Hey, you there? Wynn: Yes. Mr. Fogle, I am indeed here, and when I want to talk to you, you will hear my voice. Okay. I just didn't -- [ Cellphone beeps ] Wynn: He had a hat. Have the pawn-shop guy kill him. Wynn: [ Sighs ] He's a U.S. marshal. Yeah, you tried, and you failed. Wynn: There were extenuating circumstances. Not a criticism. Just an observation. Obviously, Givens is a hard guy to kill. Do you think Mr.Pawn-Shop Guy is up to the task? Wynn: No. Exactly! What I have planned for Harlan, Mr. Pawn-Shop Guy is more trouble than he's worth. Let Givens take care of him for us. Wynn: What if he gets lucky and pops the marshal before the marshal pops him? Then we get lucky. [ Cellphone beeps ] Wynn: I'm sorry, Glen. Are you still there? Where else would I be? Cornholing a pig? Wynn: Listen, I need you to do something for me. You sure? 'Cause you cannot un-ring that bell. Okay. I'll take care of it. Had a visitor while you were gone. Marshal named Givens. Says you are a federal fugitive. I was gonna tell you about that. Oh, I know. But you didn't 'cause, well, I would have cut you off, and then you wouldn't have had any more oxy. That right? That's just selfish is what that is, Wade. It's just selfish. You are a stupid, selfish, oxy-smoking gutter turd. I can make that up to you. Oh, yeah, you will. I even know how. This federal that's after you -- you know him? Raylan. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, you old friends or something? Well, I -- I set him up for Dickie Bennett and strung him up in a tree. I don't know. Is that a friend? Okay. Good. Now, you got a gun at your house, or did you already sell them all to finance your habit? No, I keep one in my bureau. Okay. You're gonna call this cowboy, and you're gonna say you're tired of running. That's no kind of life. And you want to meet him at your house in an hour. Now, you go there now, and when he comes up to the door, you say, "Hi," and you shoot him through the screen. Now, you think you can handle that? I mean, do I have to do that? Standing here with me after what you seen me do, you honestly have to ask me that question? No, sir. I'm sorry. Boyd: Y'all see what I mean? Devil: Yep. It is definitely worse. Can I help you boys? Boyd: Yeah, we gonna have to dig in deep, get this place looking respectable again. Hey. Hey! What the hell you think you're doing? Devil: Oh, look at this asshole, bringing a baseball bat to a gunfight. Boyd: I-I'm sorry. Do you know who I am? I do not. Boyd: Well, I'm -- I'm Boyd Crowder. Now, you're probably wondering why your day is taking this turn, and why wouldn't you? But don't worry about it. I'm gonna tell you. See, not so long ago, this... bar belonged to my cousin Johnny. Do you remember him? I bought this place fair and square! Buck, have you ever been shot? Devil: [ Laughs ] Boyd: I have. Right here in my chest. It hurt like hell. It almost cost me my life, but my cousin Johnny -- he took it a lot worse than I did. A shotgun at close range. He spent months laid up in a hospital room, contemplating the difficult nature of his new existence. And while he was... infirmed, you swooped in, and you took advantage. I didn't take ad-- Boyd: Well, hey, now. I can't blame you for plucking that low-hanging fruit, but the time has come for you to right that wrong. Now, we can take this bar back in a civilized manner, or Devil here can send you to the hospital for months, and we can take it the same way you did. The option is yours. So, what's it gonna be -- "A" or "B"? Think I'll take option "C." Now you take that gun off of him. You met my friends? Boyd: No. You met mine? Jimmy: Whoo, daddy. Good times in here today. Drop them guns right now. Boyd: Well, Johnny, I believe you got us a couple of keepers. Johnny: [ Clears throat ] Now, Jimmy, here, we never know what he's gonna do, so that's a problem. What's worse is rip, here -- if you boys don't get your asses out of here right now, well, we all know what rip's gonna do, don't we? Boyd: Oh, you can take what's left in that cash register. That's your severance pay. On the double. And we will need a deed. I want you to make it out to b-o-y-d c-r-o-w-d... [ Vehicle approaches ] [ Engine shuts off ] Raylan. Well, you got here quick. Raylan: Seemed like you were in a real hurry to turn yourself in. Well, I guess you was pretty surprised to hear from me. Raylan: Little bit. Well, you know, after we crashed that truck, running through the woods, and I asked myself-- Raylan: Wade, no need to explain. Why's that? Raylan: On account that you just did not 30 minutes ago when you called. Oh. Sure. Okay. You know, you could have gone on ahead and let yourself in. Raylan: We, you remember way back when the miners struck Tremmins power? Yes, sir. Raylan: Well, one day, some company gun thugs came to our house, looking for my uncle, my mother's younger brother, living with us at the time. They came across the street-- five of them -- a couple carrying pick handles, and they walk up on the porch, where my mother stood. They said they wanted to see her brother, the agitator. They said they wanted to set his thinking cap on straight for him. She said he wasn't here. They said they intended on looking inside anyway. Well, I come out the screen door to stand with my mother. And she looks at me... Like she'd given up all hope. But none of that was in her voice when she told them, "You don't walk in a person's home 'less you're invited." Would it be all right with you if I went went in just to change my shirt? Raylan: You don't want to know what happened next? Well, of course. Yeah. Raylan: They knocked my mother aside, used the pick handles to put me down, went in and out the back empty-handed. I guess my point is that there's been plenty of rules I've forgotten or discarded over the years, but that one's always stuck. I -- I appreciate you coming out here to get me. [ Clattering ] Especially after all that went on with Dickie. I'm awful sorry about all that. I mean, he just showed up. I -- I didn't know what else to do. Raylan: Just consider it water under the bridge, Wade. Well, yeah, yeah. And then I heard that you got to little Loretta just in time that same day, and I just want you to realize that when I decided I was gonna help her, I had no idea what she had intended to do. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Yep. I suspect it'd be difficult to tell without the proper context. Ah! Damn it! [ Drawer slams ] Raylan: You didn't change your shirt. No. Raylan: Was it 'cause you went in the house looking for this? I thought you wasn't gonna go inside! Raylan: We all got lines we got to cross, Wade. Well, what about that part -- Raylan: What the hell happened to you, Wade? sh1t. Raylan, I don't know. These pills...I'm not myself. Raylan: Well, tell that to the judge and the jury. Well, it don't have to go to that, does it? I mean, we're old friends, aren't we? Raylan: Friends? You strung me up and left me for dead. I thought that was water under the bridge. Raylan: Now you come here looking to put a bullet in me. Honestly, I think I was just gonna put a bullet in me. Raylan: I'll tell you what I want to know, Wade. After you shot me, what was you supposed to do next? [ Cellphone rings ] Is he dead? He is. But I took a bullet. What? Yeah, I been shot. Mr. Fogle, I need help. [ Exhales sharply ] Okay. Be there shortly. [ Cellphone beeps ] Yeah, if -- he hung up. What happened? He get him? Grab some guns and ammo from out front. Messer? Wade? Where you at? Raylan: Fogle. Marshal. You're looking well. Raylan: Well, thanks. Feel pretty good. I bet you're looking for Wade Messer. You, uh, haven't seen him, have you? Raylan: Oh, yeah. He's right there, handcuffed in the backseat of my car. Not true. Whatever he's been telling you. Raylan: Well, he sounded pretty convincing. Oh, come on. You're not gonna take an addict's word for it. [ Chuckles ] Raylan: I think the question you should ask is whether I care if you ride out of here cuffed in the back of my car or get carried out of here in a coroner's bag. The answer is me and dead owls don't give a hoot. You gonna shoot me? Raylan: Look. I'll take out my gun and put a bullet through your heart before you raise your weapon. Then I guess I got to wait for your partner to finish sneaking around back. You tell him to step on every twig and branch he passed? All right. You know he's there. It's still two of us and one of you. Raylan: More like 1 1/2. Look at him. He's stoned. What did you even bring him for? Hey, marshal. Now, listen. Let's, uh, take it easy. All right, maybe there's another solution to all this. Raylan: Yeah? Put that down. Let's hear it. I got somewhere else I want to be. Somewhere more important than here with me? Raylan: Thinking of buying a house. Really? What neighborhood? Raylan: In the greater Lexington area of kiss my ass. What if I gave up some friends up in Frankfort? Raylan: Your friends got names? How about Wynn Duffy? Raylan: I'd say we're getting somewhere. [ Chuckles ] Raylan: Now I just need you to put down your guns. You heard the man, there, Wally. Put your gun down. You saying he can just make a deal and skate, just after all the sh1t he's done? Raylan: Put the gun down. Well, it's too bad you don't know what's going on up in Frankfort, or you could make your own deal. I might -- I might not know about what's going on up there, but I -- but I do know what he's doing down here, like how he killed J.T. just for sport of it. Wally, you keep your mouth shut. Well, you know, Wade and I saw him do it. We buried him ourselves. Raylan: All right. Put the gun down. Marshal, listen. Raylan: Settle down. I am officially turning myself in, and I can guarantee you whatever these two addicts are accusing me of, they are in fact responsible for it themselves. Raylan: Beckett, put that gun down. I'll turn myself in, marshal, long as you kill Fogle. Raylan: All right, now, that's enough, both of you. Marshal ain't gonna shoot me, you dumb sh1t -- he needs me. Yeah? Well, he might not, but I will. Raylan: Put the guns down, both of you. [ Grunts ] Raylan: Messer! You got that phone on you? Yeah. Raylan: Dial 911. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Strained ] You let him shoot me. I can't die here. Raylan: sh1t! Boyd: My cousin Johnny's securing us the services of Jimmy and rip. Devil: Well, it does seem those boys are gonna be right at home. Boyd: Mm. Devil: Did you ever approach Johnny about taking part in the commandos? Boyd: Mm. Well, as much as cousin Johnny likes guns and money, I don't think he ever would have bought into the "why." Devil: Hmm. I remember when you recruited me. Took me to that church, showed me your ink. I thought to myself, "This here son of a bitch is crazy," preaching race war in a goddamn church." [ Laughs ] [ Sighs ] But, boy...I never believed in anything the way I did those commandos. Yes, sir. You know, and then your marshal friend shot you. It all turned. Some said you'd gotten religion. Others said you'd gone crazy, betrayed your father, all them people hanging out in the woods. Boyd: Devil, what are you looking for here? Devil: I just want to know... Which Boyd Crowder I'm being asked to follow. Boyd: Hmm. Well...What if I told you I was a man that recruited you in that church? But then I also told you I was a man who got shot? Who found God? Who betrayed his father? And I was a man who killed men and gotten a whole bunch of men killed? See, Devil, I can't discard my past any more than I can these tattoos. Now, I told you what I'm offering. There ain't nothing more. Devil: Boyd... I'm in. When I was kid, my old man wouldn't let us watch "Mr. Rogers" or "Sesame Street." He made us watch "Taxi Driver." Wynn: [ Chuckles ] Now, you might think that this thing is great, but it has to be perfect every time. If it jams, I am screwed. This is version 3.0. Wynn: Where'd you get the track? It's funny you should ask that. Actually, I was Christmas-tree shopping with -- Wynn: Go check it out. [ Sniffs ] Raylan: Tell him we're fine. Tell him we're fine, asshole. Wynn: We're fine, Mike! Howdy. That's a big gun. Oh. I'm unarmed. Raylan: Stand up, turn around, and put your hands in the air. You move, I'll shoot you in the back. Wynn: [ Exhales sharply ] How may we help you, marshal? [ Screams ] Raylan: Remember that conversation we weren't gonna have? Wynn: [ Screams ] [ Breathing rapidly ] Raylan: This is it. Wynn: [ Groans ] Raylan: The pawn shop owner's dead, along with his flunky. I found another one in a shallow resting spot. I don't give a sh1t. I don't give a sh1t 'cause I know it was you that called the shot on me, Duffy. I know. I know, just like I know it's no accident that Emmitt Arnett and his assistant are missing. Look here. Wynn: [ Panting ] Raylan: Next one's coming faster. How fast do you think those bullets will be when they're heading back at you? [ Camera shutter clicks ]	Plan: A: a ruthless pawn shop owner/Oxy dealer; Q: Who does Raylan go after to work his way up the Dixie Mafia food chain? A: Boyd; Q: Who tries to reassure a wavering member of his crew? A: Johnny; Q: Who is Boyd's cousin? A: a connection; Q: What does Boyd make with Limehouse? A: lockup; Q: Where is Dickie extorted by a corrupt guard? A: the Bennett fortune; Q: What did Dickie talk about to a corrupt guard? A: Quarles; Q: Who begins putting the pieces of his plan in motion with Wynn Duffy? A: his violent side; Q: What does Raylan show to Duffy? Summary: Raylan goes after a ruthless pawn shop owner/Oxy dealer to work his way up the Dixie Mafia food chain. Boyd reconnects with his cousin Johnny, and tries to reassure a wavering member of his crew after making a connection with Limehouse. In lockup, Dickie is extorted by a corrupt guard who overheard Boyd talking about the Bennett fortune. Quarles begins putting the pieces of his plan in motion with Wynn Duffy, only to be interrupted by Raylan who demonstrates his violent side on Duffy.
Scene: Penny's apartment. Penny: Okay, Babydoll Pink, let's see if you can cover up the fact that I got my dad's feet. Leonard (voice off): It's just two degrees, Sheldon. I just want to turn up the thermostat two degrees! Sheldon: (voice off): Let me point out that two degrees can be the difference between water and steam. Leonard (voice off): Yes, if we lived in a teakettle. Sheldon: (voice off): This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement. Leonard (voice off): Aw, screw the roommate agreement! Sheldon: (voice off): No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you. Leonard (voice off): You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat. Sheldon: (voice off): I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already! Penny (after a knock on the door): Who is it? Leonard: Leonard. Penny: Hang on. Leonard: Can I sleep on your couch tonight? Penny: Uh, well, you can try, but the people across the hall are being very noisy. Leonard: You heard that, huh? Penny: Apparently, the one fella tried to adjust the thermostat, then the other fella went bat-crap crazy. Leonard: So you agree, he's nuts. Penny: Well, not as nuts as the guy who chooses to live with him. Leonard: Believe it or not, he was worse when I met him. Penny: Oh, I do not believe that. Leonard: You are so naive. Just like I was seven years ago. (Flasback: The lobby) I'd just started at the university. Past Leonard: Excuse me, I'm looking for Sheldon Cooper's apartment. Man with a box: Oh, I bet you're here to check out the room for rent. Past Leonard: Yeah. Man: Run away, dude. Past Leonard: What? Man: Run fast, run far. (End of flashback.) Leonard: That should have been my first clue. Scene: Moments later. Penny: So Sheldon's last roommate tried to warn you off? Leonard: For all I knew, he was the crazy one. He had this really deranged look. Penny: Well, yeah, he'd been living with Sheldon. Leonard: Sure, it makes sense now. (Flashback. Past Leonard is getting out of the lift). Anyway, I went upstairs and knocked on the door. Large Black Transvestite: Yeah? Past Leonard: Dr. Cooper? Transvestite: No, you want the crazy guy across the hall. Leonard: In retrospect, that was clue number two. Past Sheldon: Yes? Past Leonard: I'm Leonard Hofstadter. I called you about the apartment. You said... Past Sheldon: I know what I said. I know what you said. I know what my mother said on March 5, 1992. What is the sixth noble gas? Past Leonard: What? Past Sheldon: You said you're a scientist. What is the sixth noble gas? Past Leonard: Uh, radon? Past Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me? Past Leonard: Telling you? Telling you. Past Sheldon: All right, next question. Kirk or Picard? Past Leonard: Oh, uh, well, that's tricky. Um, well, uh, Original Series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk. Past Sheldon: Correct. You've passed the first barrier to roommate-hood. You may enter. Past Leonard (Enters apartment. It is bare except for two lawn chairs, a television and some whiteboards): Oh, this is pretty nice. Uh, the bedrooms are back there? Past Sheldon: That depends. Past Leonard: I don't understand, their, their existence is conditional? Past Sheldon: No, but your ability to perceive their existence is conditional on you passing the second and third barriers. Past Leonard: There's three? Past Sheldon: Each more daunting than the last. Have a seat. Past Leonard: Okay. Past Sheldon: No! That's where I sit! Past Leonard: What's the difference? Past Sheldon: This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation. As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs. Past Leonard: Can you do that? Past Sheldon: Cathedra mea, regulae meae. That's Latin for my chair, my rules. Now, you said on the phone that your area of study is physics. Past Leonard: Uh, yeah, experimental physics. Past Sheldon: Hmm. Past Leonard: What is that? Past Sheldon: Doesn't concern you. You'll be going to the university every day? Past Leonard: Yes. Past Sheldon: And you have a vehicle? Past Leonard: A car, yeah. Past Sheldon: And you'll be willing to drive me? Past Leonard: Well, can't you drive? Past Sheldon: I can. I choose not to. Past Leonard: Okay, I suppose I could drive you. Well that's a point in my favour, right? Past Sheldon: Why don't you let me do this. Past Leonard: Come on, I just asked. Past Sheldon: Last question. In a post-apocalyptic world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source, re-establishing a functioning government, procreating, or preserving the knowledge of mankind? Past Leonard: Uh, I'm gonna go with preserving the knowledge. Past Sheldon: That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating. Come, I'll show you the rest of the apartment. Past Leonard: Oh, good. I passed the barriers. Past Sheldon: The second barrier. Don't get cocky. This is the bathroom. Are you fairly regular? Past Leonard: Uh, I guess. Past Sheldon: This isn't going to work if you're guessing. When do you evacuate your bowels? Past Leonard: When I have to. Past Sheldon: When you have to? I'm sorry, I don't rent to hippies. Past Leonard: I, I'm sorry, uh, in the morning. Around eight. Past Sheldon: I can't give you eight. I can give you seven thirty. Past Leonard: Fine. I'll take it. Past Sheldon: Third barrier passed. You have won the right to see your room. Huzzah! Past Leonard: Is this it? Past Sheldon: No, this is my room. People don't go in my room. Past Leonard: So where do you sleep? Past Sheldon: I don't understand. Past Leonard: If people don't go in there, and you're people, and... You are people, aren't you? Making a joke. Past Sheldon: Do you do this often? Past Leonard: On occasion. Past Sheldon: Your room. You may want to repaint. (End of Flashback) Penny: Okay, and after all that, you just moved in? Leonard: No, I didn't just move in. First we had to iron out a few details. (Flashback: The apartment) Past Sheldon: Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series Firefly. Past Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement? Past Sheldon: We might as well settle it now, it's going to be on for years. Initial here. All right, that's television and movies. Section nine, miscellany. The apartment's flag is a gold lion rampant on a field of azure. Past Leonard: We have a flag? Past Sheldon: Never fly it upside down unless the apartment's in distress. And next, if either of us ever invents time travel, we agree our first stop will be this meeting today in precisely five seconds. Past Leonard: Okay. Past Sheldon: Well that's disappointing. (End of flashback.) Penny: Why on earth did you agree to all that? Leonard: It was the best apartment I'd seen, the rent was very reasonable and after you've passed the first three barriers you kind of want to take it all the way. Penny: Well, I'm sorry, Leonard, it's very hard to feel sympathy for you. Leonard: Okay, how about this? Let me tell you about the first time I brought a girl over. (Flashback to Leonard's bedroom.) Past Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? Past Leonard: Shh. Just pretend we're not here. Past Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?Leonard? Past Leonard: I'm sure he'll go away. Past Sheldon: I'm just going to keep knocking till you answer. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? Past Leonard: What do you want? I didn't say come in! Past Sheldon: You asked what I wanted. I wanted to come in. I'm here because you violated our roommate agreement. Specifically, section eight, visitors, subsection C, females, paragraph four, coitus. Roommates shall give each other 12 hours notice of impending coitus." Past Leonard: I didn't even know her 12 hours ago. Joyce Kim: That's it! I'm out of here! Past Leonard: But, Joyce, come on. Past Sheldon: 12 hours? (End of flashback.) Penny: Oh, my God. Leonard: Do I get some sympathy now? Penny: A little bit. Okay. Let me get this straight. You move in with this guy, he makes you sign a ridiculous roommate agreement, then he walks into your bedroom while you're doing this Joyce Kim, and you still stay? Leonard: Actually, I couldn't get too mad at him about Joyce Kim. Penny: Why not? Leonard: Well, I was doing some government research at the time, you know, military, rocket fuel. It's kind of secret. Penny: What does that have to do with Joyce Kim? Leonard: As it turns out, she was a North Korean spy. Luckily, Sheldon drove her out before I revealed anything important. Which I'm not saying I would have. Penny: So, what, that's it? You've stayed with Sheldon all this time because he kept you from going to federal prison? Leonard: That was part of it. The other part is what happened with the elevator. Penny: Oh, yeah, I'm wondering about that. You said it was working when you moved in. Leonard: It was, but one night, Sheldon came home from work... (Flashback, the apartment. The settee has now appeared. Leonard, Howard and Raj are playing a video game.) Past Sheldon: What is going on here? Past Leonard: Hey, Sheldon. This is Howard and Raj. They work at the university, too. Past Howard: Hey. Past Raj: Hey. Past Sheldon: I'll get to you later. What are you sitting on? Past Howard: I can't speak for these guys, but I'm sitting on my tushie. It's a joke. Past Leonard: Yeah, not a good idea. Past Raj: Tushie is buttocks, right? Past Howard: Right. Past Raj: Hilarious. Past Sheldon: Explain the couch. Past Leonard: Oh, well, there were some people on the first floor moving out, and they sold it to me for a hundred dollars. Howard and Raj helped me bring it up. Past Sheldon: But what's wrong with the furniture we have? Past Leonard: They're lawn chairs. And there was no place for company. Past Sheldon: Did it occur to you that was by design? Past Leonard: According to the roommate agreement, I'm entitled to allocate 50% of the cubic footage of the common areas. Past Sheldon: But you didn't notify me by e-mail, so this is still a breach. Past Leonard: I did notify you. Past Sheldon: Oh, you did, did you? Oh, drat! Hoisted by my own spam filter. Past Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder? Past Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano, entitled this is funny. Past Raj: Oh, yeah, I saw that. That was hilarious. (End of flashback.) Penny: Okay, what does all this have to do with the elevator? Leonard: I'm getting to it. (Back to flashback.) Past Sheldon: I assure you, you'll be sorry you wasted your money on an iPod when Microsoft comes out with theirs. Past Raj: Okay, do you have an opinion about everything? Past Sheldon: Yes. Past Howard: And you just assume you're always right? Past Sheldon: It's not an assumption. Change seats with me. Past Raj: Why? Past Sheldon: I don't like this spot. I have to keep turning my head. Past Raj: Fine. Past Leonard: Ooh, it's time for Babylon 5! Past Sheldon: We don't watch Babylon 5 in this apartment. Past Leonard: Why not? Past Sheldon: Because no one likes Babylon 5. Past Leonard: I like it. Past Raj: Me, too. Past Howard: So do I. Past Leonard: There you go- three against one. Past Sheldon: They don't get a vote. It's one against one. And according to the roommate agreement, all ties will be settled by me. Past Leonard: But I said no to that. Past Sheldon: And I said yes. And I settle all ties. Change seats with me. Past Howard: Why? Past Sheldon: There's a draft on my neck over here. Past Howard: So, I get the draft? Past Sheldon: You're protected by your turtleneck. Past Howard: Fine. And it's a dickey. Past Sheldon: Hmm, I'm still not comfortable. Of course. There's too many people here. Past Leonard: We can fix that. Let's leave. Past Howard: Yeah, we can go over to my place. Past Sheldon: Wait. Let me get my jacket. Past Howard: You're not going with us. Past Sheldon: Why not? Past Raj: You're the guy we're trying to get away from. Past Sheldon: Oh. Well, in that case, I don't need my jacket. And for the record, the correct syntax is I'm the guy from whom you're trying to get away. Oh, yes, this is definitely going to be my spot. (End of flashback.) Penny: Okay, how do you know he said that? You left the room. Leonard: Hey, do you want me to finish working on your man feet or not? Penny: Fine. Go ahead. (Flashback to Howard's bedroom.) Mrs Wolowitz: Howard, are you having a playdate? Past Howard: I don't have playdates! I have colleagues! Mrs Wolowitz: Do their parents know they're here? Past Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they'll hear you! Past Leonard: That your dad? Past Howard: She grows any more hair on her face, yes. Past Leonard: Oh, man. Is that a two-stage rocket? Past Howard: Three. I designed the engine myself. Past Raj: Cool. Can it break Mach 1? Past Howard: Oh, probably, if I could get my hands on that new fuel the government's been working on. Past Leonard: Oh, this just might be your lucky day. Mrs Wolowitz: Howard, what happened to the Oreos I left on the counter?! Past Howard: I haven't seen your Oreos! Just take your bath without them! (End of flashback.) Penny: So, why was it his lucky day? Leonard: Well, it turns out I had a little rocket fuel in the apartment. Penny: What were you doing with rocket fuel in your apartment? Leonard: Mm, Joyce Kim was kind of curious about what I did for a living, and I was going to kind of show it to her. It's not important. The point is, the guys and I went back to the apartment. Penny: Are we ever going to get to the elevator? Leonard: Yeah, we're really close. Uh, uh, we're at the apartment. (Flashback.) Past Leonard: The trick is to mix it into Tovex in order to create a combustible gel that will generate over 8,000 kilonewtons of thrust. Past Howard: Nice. Past Raj: Cool. Past Sheldon: Won't work. Past Leonard: Excuse me, but I've been working on this a long time. Trust me, it'll work. Past Sheldon: You don't see your mistake, do you? Past Leonard: There's no mistake. Past Sheldon: This is for a full-scale rocket, not a model. Past Leonard: Well, I've adjusted the formula. Past Sheldon: Not correctly. Past Leonard: Okay, I've had it with you. You might be an expert on theoretical physics and science-fiction programs and where to sit on a freaking couch, but this is applied physics. And when it comes to applied physic... uh-oh. Past Howard: What's happening? Past Leonard: A bad thing. A very bad thing. Get the door. Get the door! Get the door! Get the door! Get the door! Past Howard: You're waiting for the elevator? Past Leonard: Oh. Right. Past Raj: Wait. It's here. Past Sheldon: Give me that. (Takes the rocket fuel. Puts it in elevator. Presses button and jumps out.) Past Leonard: What'd you do that for? I had plenty of time. (Elevator explodes.) Past Sheldon: You're welcome. (End of flashback.) Leonard: Not only did Sheldon save my life, he didn't rat me out to the landlord. Or the police. Or Homeland Security. Penny: Okay, so, basically, you're the reason I have to walk up and down three flights of stairs every day? Leonard: So I did something stupid. I'm sure you did stupid things when you were younger. What were you doing seven years ago? Penny: Excuse me, I was in high school. Studying, keeping my nose clean, doing volunteer work for the community. (Flashback. Penny is in her bedroom, sitting on the bed with a guy, looking at a pregnancy tester.) Past Penny: Not pregnant. Yes! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: The apartment. Sheldon: Oh, Ubuntu, you are my favourite Linux-based operating system. Leonard: Hey. Sheldon: Hello. Why do I smell methacrylate? Leonard: Oh, uh, clear nail polish. I had a mani-pedi. Men can get those. Anyway, I may owe you an apology. Sheldon: There's doubt? Leonard: I did agree to the thermostat setting, and I shouldn't have tried to change it. Sheldon: That's not an apology, simply an acknowledgement that I was right. Leonard: Okay, I'm sorry. Sheldon: There you go. Leonard: So, we're good? Sheldon: Good what? Leonard: Never mind. Okay if I watch some TV? Sheldon: Go ahead. Television voice: Up next Babylon 5. Scene: Penny's apartment. Leonard (voice off): You're not even watching! Sheldon (voice off): I can hear it! Leonard (voice off): Oh, so the dialogue offends you? Sheldon (voice off): I would hardly call that dialogue! Leonard (voice off): You're insane, you know that?! Sheldon (voice off): Don't make me turn that flag upside down, 'cause you know I'll do it!	Plan: A: Penny's apartment; Q: Where did Leonard take shelter after an argument with Sheldon? A: Leonard; Q: Who tells Penny how he and Sheldon met? A: 2003; Q: When did Leonard and Sheldon meet? A: the trials; Q: What did Leonard describe about becoming Sheldon's roommate? A: their building's elevator; Q: What did Leonard tell Penny was out of order? Summary: Taking shelter in Penny's apartment after an argument with Sheldon, Leonard tells Penny how he and Sheldon met in 2003. He describes the trials he underwent in order to become Sheldon's roommate, which reveal many aspects of the latter's character, and in the process reveals how their building's elevator came to be out of order.
pens at the front of the Cohen's house, Sandy, Kirsten, Seth & Ryan are unpacking the car of groceries Sandy: (to Kirsten) are we worried your dad wont love us if we don't feed him enough? Kirsten: alright starting now, no more digs at my dad Sandy: oh honey, that wasn't a dig. Seth? Seth: no...but when you called him a heartless bstrd, that was a dig Sandy: (to Seth) you sold me out! Seth: (to Ryan) see they're like puppets and I'm puppet master Ryan: world domination to follow CUT TO: Kirsten & Sandy now in the house Kirsten: (to Sandy) maybe you guys can make peace this weekend Sandy: ok...oh-oh-oh no...wait we can't Kirsten: why? Sandy: I'm still Jewish! (Kirsten silently pretend laughs) just gettin it outta my system, I promise Kirsten: wonder what his new girlfriends like Sandy: I am sure she is very well paid (Kirsten gives him a look) I am on fire! look at you your wired, seein your parents should make you feel guilt not terror Caleb: don't forget I'm also her boss Kirsten: (shuts the fridge door and Caleb is standing there) Dad! Caleb: speak of the devil and the devil he doth appear (kisses Kirsten) shalom Sandy Kirsten: how long have you ben here? Caleb: not long! the leer jet got here quicker then I expected, I used my key to get in Sandy: so Caleb, where's your new girlfriend? Caleb: she's taking a swim. where's my grandson? CUT TO: Ryan & Seth still unpacking the car Ryan: (to Seth) so your grandpa he-he basically owns Newport right Seth: yes an... much like yourself he comes from humble beginnings, you guys'll probably hit it off Ryan: I burnt down one of his homes Seth: yeah but it was an accident he owns like a million of em its probably not even on his radar (Ryan looks worried) hey seriously do not worry about it ok look he lets my mom run the company now he's got a brand new girlfriend, he's very mellow Caleb: (walking out the front door) Seth! Seth: hey! Caleb: hey! (hugs Seth) Seth: how you doin? Caleb: (looking at Seth's build) you're still not a football player Seth: ah yes, no but thankyou, uh grandpa meet my friend Ryan Caleb: (slightly cold) you're the kid that burnt down my house (Ryan holds his hand out to shake it, Caleb doesn't reciprocate) Seth: come on (nudges Caleb) (Caleb shakes Ryan's hand) Caleb: (to Seth) so you've gotta see my pictures from Spain an you gotta promise me to go to Barcelona while your still young Seth: alright Caleb: (to Ryan) you wanna take those an put em round by the grill Seth: (to Ryan) hey (mouths something like it's fine, or don't worry) (Caleb & Seth go inside, Ryan picks up the bag and carries it round to the grill then goes to go into the pool house - he stops when he sees a gorgeous blonde getting out of the pool. she stands there and wrings her hair out) Gabriel: hi Ryan: (smiles) hey Gabriel: I'm Gabriel...I'm with Caleb (Seth comes and stands with Ryan) Seth: oh my god that could be my grandma (Ryan just stares without saying anything) Theme Song - California by Phantom Planet Seth & Ryan are in the spa & Gabriel is floating on a mat thing in the pool Seth: (to Ryan) is it twisted to find my potential grandma really hot? Ryan: not when she looks like that! Caleb: Gabriel Gabriel: yeah? Caleb: we're gonna sit, drink some wine, catch up Gabriel: ok, do you want me to uh Caleb: lie out in the sun, get some colour. try to stay out of trouble (leaves) Gabriel: (swimming over to the spa) can I join you guys? (Seth & Ryan look at each other like 'this is to good to be true') Ryan: yeah, yeah come on and uh Seth: yeah, no yeah (Gabriel sits on the side of the pool then slides over into the spa) Gabriel: whoo, its warm (Seth & Ryan make room for her between them) ahhhh. so what's up? Ryan: we were uh Seth: we-we Ryan: we were talkin about the uh Seth: you were telling -he was telling me about-he was telling me about the thing Gabriel: so this birthday party for Caleb it's like a who's who of Newport (Seth nods) should be wild huh (Seth & Ryan look at each other) Gabriel: I'm being sarcastic Seth: ahh Gabriel: mhmm Seth: yes, we don't get alotta that around here Gabriel: so who're you guys bringing? Seth: I would say no one really Ryan: yeah, same Gabriel: your kidding right...there are no girls you wanna bring? two young hot guys like yourselves Seth: (confused) are you still being sarcastic? Gabriel: (smiles) no Seth: her name is Summer Gabriel: and, did you invite her yet? Seth: I-its not that simple I mean Gabriel: she can't say yes if you don't ask her Seth: that is very wise Gabby Gabriel: (to Ryan) what about you? Seth: (to Ryan) did you ask Marissa Ryan: I haven't talked to her in a while, I don't think she's gonna wanna go Gabriel: and why not Ryan: uh her family's kinda fallin apart, ah she's got this boyfriend she may be back with him, it's a long story Seth: they've been goin out since like the 5th grade Gabriel: (suprised) 5th grade, ok she needs to change it up, she's known that guy since he was eating paste Seth: I think he still does CUT TO: Marissa in her room, Luke knocks on the door Luke: (knock) hey babe (Marissa sees him) you decent Marissa: (smiles) hey, what are you doing here? Luke: oh I was just uh came from the doctors, got my stitches out. thought we could celebrate by hittin the beach Marissa: don't you think it's too soon? you should probably go home an rest Luke: ugh, no-no that's all I've ben doing Marissa: Luke! you got shot Luke: yeah I know... (seriously) I know how lucky I am to have a second chance, that's why I don't wanna waste anymore time Marissa: (confused) w-what'd you mean (Luke gives Marissa a stuffed toy, she takes it and smiles) Luke: I've ben an idiot. I never shoulda broken up with you in the first place, and now with everything that's goin on with your dad. the thing is you were there for me when I was in the hospital and now, I wanna be here for you (he goes to kiss her) its all just ben so crazy, I just wish we could be together, like it was Marissa: I-I don't know Luke: you don't have to I mean we can take it slow (Marissa smiles) tell you what lets just hang out here today, we'll sit by the pool or uh we'll watch a movie or somethin, whatever you want Marissa: ok (half smiles) CUT TO: Cohen's back yard. Seth, Ryan & Gabriel are now out of the spa. pans to Sandy, Kirsten & Caleb watching them through the window Kirsten: Gabriel she seems... Caleb: she's 24 Kirsten: I'm sorry Sandy: oh she seems so...mature for her age (Kirsten looks at him and half smiles) Caleb: these birthday festivities, we keeping them small right Kirsten: it depends what you mean by small Caleb: well, just the family the four of us, Gabriel Kirsten: right, the four of us...Gabriel, Ryan and a hundred and fifty of your closest friends Sandy: Cal she's ben workin over time on this thing, the menus, the invitations, on top of the mountain of work she's ben buried under Caleb: is it to much? Kirsten: no work is great, we're back on track with the new development Caleb: yeah after your boy out there nearly burned it to the ground Kirsten: we've had a few set-backs but the accident insurance more then covered the damages Caleb: and then I hear that you've commissioned an architect that I've never approved to do the redesign Kirsten: I commissioned a design but I would never build without consulting you Caleb: honey you don't need my approval...after all you adopted the boy without consulting me (Kirsten & Sandy both look at each other, shocked) Kirsten: I would've uh called you about Ryan dad but there wasn't enough time Caleb: I get it, I'm pushing you to hard, things are slipping through the cracks...which is why I've decided to scale back your responsibilities Kirsten: you're demoting me? Caleb: I wanna get more involved, give you a chance to spend a bit more time your new family, your new son (Kirsten is speechless) now then tell me all about Jimmy Cooper, son of a bitch lost four million dollars (laughs) CUT TO: Jimmy in his home office, Julie comes in Julie: I took Caitlyn by the stables to say goodbye to china, guess she won't be needing these anymore (puts the horse riding stuff on Jimmy's desk) you know I think China was her best friend Jimmy: China's a horse (sighs) Julie: maybe to you Jimmy: hey y'know...I don't feel good about this Julie: well you shouldn't Jimmy: what'd you (sigh) what'd you want from me? Julie: (sighs) I think I want a divorce (goes to leave then turns back) I'm sorry honey, I just don't see any other way (leaves) CUT TO: Marissa's door, Ryan is there Marissa: hey! Ryan: I was on my way to work um y'know we hadn't talked in a while Marissa: I was gonna call you Ryan: nah its cool...so Kirsten's dads in town they're havin this uh Luke: hey Ryan: hi Luke: (shaking Ryan's hand) hey how're you doin man? Ryan: uh fine (Marissa looks uncomfortable) Luke: yeah um I never got a chance to thank you for takin me to the hospital an uh givin Marissa a call Ryan: yeah, no problem Luke: yeah (to Marissa) uh hey do you have some aspirin or somethin, my arms killin me from the stitches Marissa: yeah check in my parents bathroom Luke: alright thanks (to Ryan) hey, take it easy guy Marissa: so...what's going on? Ryan: uh...I was gonna see if you wanted...to-I was gonna see how you were doin, you seem to be doin good. so...I'm gonna get to work, later (leaves) (Marissa watches him go, she looks disappointed) CUT TO: Ryan at the crab shack bussing tables. Gabriel comes in Gabriel: hey Ryan: hey Gabriel: Seth and Caleb are sailing...I've never seen two people more excited about boats. Seth said you work here and I could use a cocktail Ryan: uh...I can't serve you Gabriel: right, your not legal (laughs) ah, how bout a cranberry juice Ryan: that I can do (smiles) Gabriel: alright (pulls out a mini bottle of alcohol from her bag) from the flight, I hate flying, you? Ryan: I've... never ben on a plane Gabriel: my first time I was fifteen, my mother sent me to Japan all by myself to do some modelling (Ryan looks at her) I guess she figured it was easier then her having to get a job Ryan: I can relate Gabriel: I've heard Ryan: so uh, how'd the modelling thing turn out? Gabriel: well when your a teenager and your living in a house with a bunch of girls...no parents, things can get a little insane (Ryan nods, listening) by the time I got clean I was 22...retirement age (off Ryan's look) you must think its weird, me with an older guy Ryan: I live in a pool house (smiles) Gabriel: mm (smiles) uh-hm so how'd it work out with your girl? Ryan: whoo Gabriel: paste eater Ryan: they have a past (in the background someone wants a refill, Ryan goes and serves her leaving Gabriel at the counter, smiling) CUT TO: Kirsten & Sandy in the kitchen. Kirsten pours herself a coffee then throws the kettle down in the sink. she is clearly upset Sandy: oh Kirsten...come on honey (holds her from behind) you could not have done more or done better Kirsten: I just don't understand I've-I've worked so hard for him, I've killed myself for him Sandy: well the man is a bottomless pit of need you think you can fill it, you can't. oooh (Kirsten turns to face him) you're amazing...if he can't appreciate you screw him...quit! (whispers) quit Kirsten: you've never supported me working for him, you've never liked him Sandy: your right I haven't, not since our wedding day when I watched you walk yourself down the aisle Kirsten: he was in Singapore, there was a monsoon Sandy: oh baby we changed the date three times for his schedule, he makes the world revolve around him including you! Kirsten: Sandy...he's my dad Sandy: and he's ruining your life...quit! Kirsten: ...I can't CUT TO: Ryan & Gabriel at the crab shack. They are sharing a plate of food, and talking Gabriel: so you're living in a pool house and then...so what's next for you? Ryan: what's next for you? the leer jet to London, Paris in the fall? (Marissa walks in and sees Ryan with Gabriel) Gabriel: (smiling) perhaps Ryan: (sees Marissa) I'll be right back (walks over to Marissa) hey Marissa: hey, got a minute? (cut to them outside) Ryan: what's up? Marissa: I wanted to talk to you before but- Ryan: Luke was there Marissa: right (they look at each other) um...he wants to get back together Ryan: (disappointed) what'd you tell him? Marissa: I told him I needed to think about it Ryan: ah huh Marissa: (she clearly wants him to give her a sign, but he doesn't) (desperate) I don't know what I should do Ryan: I don't know either (shrugs) Marissa: I know I jus- Ryan: look if you came here for me to help you choose Marissa: of course not Ryan: good (Marissa looks hurt) why don't you just let me know when you've made up your mind ok Marissa: (almost crying) ok (walks away) CUT TO: Ryan riding his bike & Seth on his skateboard CUT TO: Marissa & Summer at some food place Marissa: if he just said something, I mean I just wanted him to say anything Summer: well you can't expect him to choose Coop, he comes from a place where they have like knife fights and drag racing and like sx on the hood of a car Marissa: that's from fast and the furious Summer: well that movie was based on a true story Marissa: (laughs) no it wasn't Summer: whatevs, all I'm saying is you have to do the choosing, not him or Luke (Marissa sighs) CUT TO: Ryan on his bike & Seth on his skate board, they stop at the same place Marissa & Summer are. Marissa & Summer are now sitting at a table with food Seth: its fate its-its destiny look we both like burritos Ryan: you wanna eat somewhere else Seth: (ignoring what Ryan said) who's winning right now me or my hair? (Ryan looks at him, looks at his hair, then back over to the girls) CUT TO: Marissa & Summer at the table Summer: I'm gonna get us some (?) (Summer gets up from the table and just as she turns around Seth & Ryan walk up) Seth: hi Summer...Seth Cohen Summer: could you give me a hand... (points) over here (they both walk off leaving Ryan & Marissa alone) Ryan: ok (sits down) I-I know you gotta figure some stuff out I get that but... in the mean time there's this party that uh well its for Seth's grandfather Marissa: I know...I'm going...Luke asked me this morning Ryan: (disappointed) cool well um... ill see you and Luke tomorrow night Marissa: (nodding) yeah, see ya (Ryan leaves) CUT TO: Seth & Summer Seth: (?) aggressive (?) that's classic, holy jalapeno somebody came to play Summer: ewww, are there any napkins Seth: (looks then shakes his head) no Summer: (holds her pinky out to him) lick it Seth: (suprised) what Summer: I just got my nails done, it'll ruin the polish Seth: (making a face) you lick it! Summer: I don't like picante, it's for Marissa (still holding her pinky out) Seth: (hesitates then quickly licks it) uh-hm Summer: thanks Seth: it's good Summer: now aren't you gonna invite me to your grandpas party Seth: (speechless)...I'm sorry Summer could you please repeat that Summer: your grandpas having this awesome party...it's-it's at your house and I thought we were friends Seth: wait a second, do you want me to ask you cause you wanna go with me or just cause...you wanna go (Summer gives him a look) fair enough I'll see you at 8 CUT TO: Kirsten & Sandy in their bedroom Sandy: hey Kirsten: hey, how was court (kisses him) Sandy: (excited) I was distracted all day and I couldn't help but think that if you quit d'you know what we could do Kirsten: I'm not quitting Sandy: no hear me out, we could find out who's living in our old house in Berkley, we could buy it back, you loved that house Seth loved that house Kirsten: that house had bad plumbing an termites Sandy: oh it was a fixer upper that we never got to fix up Kirsten: (laughs) I know Sandy: we moved here cause your mom got sick, we never planned to stay if you quit we could do anything we want we could go anywhere Kirsten: no we-cant Sandy: why not? Seth has been planning his exodus from this place since he was six Ryan wouldn't care, you-you could get that little gallery in Sorselido you've always dream of or the mission you could put your art history degree to good use Kirsten: (smiling) I haven't thought about that gallery in years Sandy: so (pulls her to him) think about it (kisses her) (holds her hands) think about it CUT TO: Marissa & Summer in Marissa's room Summer: (holding a dress) is this to slutty to wear to an old guy's birthday party, I don't want the dude to have a coronary Marissa: I can't believe your actually going with Seth Summer: aloha Caleb Nichol is like the Donald Trump of the west (Marissa half smiles) do you know how many hot rich 20 something banker brokers are gonna be there (Marissa looks at her and raises her eyebrows) alot and now I have someone to introduce me to them Marissa: isn't that a little mean to Seth Summer: to who? (Marissa looks at her) kidding! CUT TO: Cohen house, everyone is seated around the table. Caleb is at one end & Sandy at the other. Kirsten & Ryan are on one side & Seth & Gabriel are on the other. Gabriel: (to Kirsten) that was delicious Kirsten Kirsten: well thankyou I order from them all the time (smiles) Caleb: (laughs) less time at work more time for cooking Sandy: yeah because there is just no place Kirsten feels more comfortable than in the kitchen Seth: (looks at Sandy) what're you talkin about, mom can't even make cereal Kirsten: (looks at Seth) thanks Seth! Seth: I love you mom (makes a cutesy face) Kirsten: I love you too (imitates Seth's face) (clears the table) Caleb: you have a quick wit Seth, amazing you're not better at skirt chasing Seth: oh... well if by skirts you mean girls in your outdated cowboy speak I have a little news for you it turns out that somebody has a date to your party (Caleb raises his eyebrows, Sandy looks impressed) and its not a big deal or anything but if you must know Summer asked me Sandy: (suprised) oh Summer, wow, Summer's hot (Gabriel laughs) Seth: you did not just say that Sandy: (getting up) say what? Seth: (mortified) jus go...please Sandy: (suggestively) you go Gabriel: (laughs) what about you Ryan Ryan: (raises his eyebrows) nope, going by myself (Gabriel is looking at Ryan, Ryan is looking at her & Seth notices them both. Caleb is oblivious) CUT TO: The kitchen. Kirsten is rinsing plates and Sandy walks in Sandy: Caleb seems to be in good spirits he just polished off his second bottle of merlot, now would be a very good time to talk to him Kirsten: I don't know if I'm ready to have that conversation Caleb: (walking in) have what conversation...got any grappa (holds up his empty glass) Kirsten: yeah Caleb: are you adopting another kid Kirsten: it's nothing Sandy: uh actually it it's something Caleb: I've never known my daughter to need someone to speak for her Sandy: maybe you've never really gotten to know your daughter (heatedly) if you did you'd know she is the best thing to ever happen to that company, you'd support her not demote her to the point where she wants to quit Kirsten: Sandy! Caleb: is that true you wanna quit? Kirsten: no! I- Sandy: Kirsten Kirsten: (softly) we were talking! Sandy: about selling this house and moving back to Berkley like we'd always planned Caleb: you're not serious... (to Sandy) your still smoking the weed aren't you Kirsten: dad! Seth: (walking in and over hearing) dad you smoked weed Kirsten: (to Seth) out-now! private conversation Seth: (walking out) Ryan guess who's a stoner! Sandy: honey don't be afraid of him Caleb: (to Sandy) (heatedly) you keep your mouth shut, no one here cares what you think! Sandy: don't talk to me like that in my own house! Caleb: whose house is this? who built it-who paid for it? Kirsten: dad! Caleb: this is between you and me Kiki (o.s) your gonna get what you want anyway you always have (Ryan, Seth & Gabriel are over hearing everything) Ryan: should we...maybe go (Seth waves him off, listening) Caleb: (o.s) adopting juvenile delinquents Seth: maybe...lets jus Gabriel: yeah lets (they all leave the table) Kirsten: (o.s) your making a much bigger deal of this (on screen) it was nothing Caleb: ehh it didn't sound like nothing...infact...thanks Sandy for letting me know how she feels, she would never tell me that she never tells me anything (Kirsten looks frustrated) if you wanna quit that's fine, ill expect your resignation in the morning (Kirsten looks upset) now then the grappa CUT TO: the pool house - Ryan is reading, Seth is reading & Gabriel is playing a handheld game Seth: so Gabriel I hear grandpas taking you on the helicopter tour tomorrow Gabriel: yep...he wants to show me his Orange County empire (referring to the hand held game) (laughs) this game sucks! Seth: let me see it (Gabriel gives it to him) Ryan, you've ben playing the pirate game...that's a little bit minty (throws it on the bed) Gabriel: what else do you have? Seth: (getting up) ill go get you pro skater 3, its good (turns at the door) hey we gotta go searching for my dads bong later alright Ryan: (nods) mm (Seth leaves, making Gabriel & Ryan in there alone) Ryan: so, he always yell like that Gabriel: pretty much...he's the boss and (getting closer to Ryan, she crawls over and sits closer to him) every relationship is a business relationship to him Ryan: even yours Gabriel: he'll only ever really love one woman and she passed away years ago...now he's just looking to stay entertained...keep from being bored...but aren't we all (Ryan looks up at her, she runs her hand up the top of his leg) Gabriel: (softly) I am so bored (getting closer to him) Ryan: do you think- Gabriel: shh don't think (kisses him, the second time Ryan kisses back) Caleb: (o.s) Gabriel (they stop kissing) we're leaving-now (Gabriel gets off the bed and fixes her clothes/hair) Gabriel: back to the office (Gabriel leaves, and Ryan is sitting there looking stunned and not quite sure about what happened) CUT TO: Ryan & Seth in the pool. they are both on lounge things next to each other. Ryan is facing one way and Seth the other Seth: how's Gabriel Ryan: I dunno Seth: oh really...ok Ryan let me present exhibit A to you she opted to forgo sailing to go to the crab shack Ryan: soo, not everyone likes sailing Seth: ok lets take it to exhibit B here...intense some would even say smoldering eye contact at the dining room table, she was mad dogging you and finally the clincher (Ryan looks at him) last night in the pool house she chose to sit on your bed even though there was an empty chair available Kirsten: (coming outside) come on boys outta the pool, the caterers are here its time to get ready Seth: ok (to Ryan) I would like some answers Ryan: (completely straight faced) yeah ok we hooked up Seth: (shocked) what? Ryan: isn't that what you were asking with the whole exhibit A Seth: (mouth open) I-noticed some heavy flirting yes... (softer) you hooked up with my grandma (Ryan moves his head to signal yes) (excited) actually that's kinda hot, how was it? Ryan: no one can know about this, your grandpa can not find out Seth: yeah I agree completely, how was it? Ryan: it was good...weird...but good Seth: (mouth open, lays back in shock) whoa...well what about Marissa Ryan: what about her CUT TO: Caleb's party Kirsten: (to waiter) ah 73 don, yes that's his favourite, thankyou (to another waiter) is there cilantro in that ( waiter shakes her head) good he hates it (she re arranges a flower arrangement) Sandy: (walks over) I can't believe you still went through with this whole thing Kirsten: well I had no choice, even though you tried to sabotage the entire weekend (door bell, Kirsten and Sandy both go to answer it) Sandy: oh honey I'm sorry I jumped the gun last night. ready? (Kirsten nods and Sandy opens the door) Gabriel: hello Kirsten: hi, dad you made it (hugs & kisses him) Caleb: you're not disappointed Kirsten: no Gabriel: (to Sandy) how're you doin (kisses him on the cheek) nice to see you Caleb: (to Sandy) Sandy (shakes his hand) Sandy: hey happy birthday Caleb Caleb: thankyou Sandy: (to Gabriel) can I get you a drink? Gabriel: (nods) absolutely (they walk off) Kirsten: (shutting the door) dad happy birthday! Caleb: thanks Kirsten: ah look...about the other night Caleb: oh, just forget about it just ah make sure that you let me know when you plan to give notice so that I can hire your replacement (laughs) hey quite a party (Caleb leaves and Kirsten is left standing there upset that he doesn't care) [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: the backyard - Ryan has just come out of his pool house to join the party. Gabriel walks over to him Ryan: (sighs) you look uh... (swallows) wow (Gabriel licks a cherry then goes to put it in Ryan's mouth. Ryan takes it off her and eats it) Gabriel: you clean up good Ryan: uh (half smile) are you tryin'a get caught Gabriel: find me later (walks off, Ryan doesn't know what to make of it) CUT TO: Summer, Marissa, Julie & Luke inside, they have just got there Marissa: I wish dad would come Julie: why, so you could break up another brawl (off the faint Julie) oh hi, how are you (walks off) Seth: (walking up behind them) hey Summer... ah you-look yeah... uh-uh hey Marissa (she hugs him on the side) hi Luke Luke: Cohen (shakes his hand) how you doin, its good to see you Seth: (disbelievingly) it is Luke: so this is your place, it's beautiful Seth: oh, thankyou Luke: hey Mariss somethin to drink? Marissa: sure (they walk off) Seth: ok he got shot in the arm not the head Summer: ugh, come on don't you wanna show me off (they walk off) (pan to Ryan coming into the room, he looks over and sees Luke holding Marissa's face and they are both smiling/laughing. Ryan turns away hurt, he walks out going past where Seth & Summer are) banker guy: (heard faintly as the camera is on Ryan) I'm in private equity and portfolio management Summer: (to banker guy) really private equity and portfolio management sounds fascinating (Summer looks at Seth as if to say doesn't it, Seth just looks bored) CUT TO: Sandy outside, he sees Kirsten sitting down through the window and goes to see her Sandy: it's a great party (walks over) everybody seems to be havin a good time (rubs her arm from behind) Kirsten: almost everybody (takes a sip of her wine) Sandy: oh look-look I-I...I wish I could tell you I'm sorry but I'm not Kirsten: ok worst apology ever Sandy: (sitting) you know I'm no good at those, look the important thing is it's out there, you spoke your mind Kirsten: (turning round to face him) NO! you spoke my mind Sandy: I thought we had an understanding I-I thought this was what we both wanted Kirsten: it is...it was Sandy: I knew it you're backin down, he's ben doing this to you for twenty years Kirsten: my dad isn't the reason we stayed here...we are we chose this (Sandy looks at her) if your telling me that all this time you've ben unhappy that this isn't what you want...then this is a much bigger conversation CUT TO: Julie is talking with a group of ladies, Jimmy comes in behind them woman: (to Julie) it's Jimmy! Julie: (to women) excuse me (walks over to Jimmy) I told you not to come, what the hell are you doing here! Jimmy: hey hey I-I've got a plan ok just take it easy, a chance for everything to go back to the way it was Julie: you built a time machine Jimmy: Caleb Nichol employs thousands of people, none of whom are more experienced or qualified as I am. how big a leap can it be from investing in stocks to investing in real estate? Julie: you are not seriously considering asking him for a job Jimmy: why not Julie: this whole community thinks you're a criminal Jimmy! Caleb Nichol owns the community what makes you think he feels differently Jimmy: the guy loves me, he has since I was a kid he taught me how to sail, when I was in junior high school he tried to convince me to propose to Kirsten Julie: (sincerely) please...don't even think of talking to him Jimmy: look I'm sorry but if there's a chance that I can save this family (shrugs) I'm gonna take it (walks off) CUT TO: Summer & Marissa walking around inside Summer: this party rocks, I cannot believe David Manpearls here Marissa: who? Summer: (walking in the bathroom) the senior vice president of the wealth management division at McKenna, y'know the venture capitalist firm. he manages wealth AS A JOB! (Marissa looks at her) I've ben reading Forbes (we see them in the view of the mirror from this point) Marissa: (laughs) uh I see Summer: so you chose Luke huh Chino didn't stand a chance I told you Luke was the one (touches up her lipstick) Marissa: no you didn't (touches up hers) Summer: well I meant to...you guys are all over each other (excited) did you? did it happen? Marissa: no! Summer: well his will power is amazing the fact that you two haven't had sx Marissa: Summer! Summer: Coop! what more do you want? he's beautiful, sweet, totally-crazy about you (Marissa half smiles) what are you waiting for? Marissa: ...I...dunno Summer: well you better figure it out because he is not gonna be able to wait forever (leaves) CUT TO: Ryan in the pool house listening to music, Gabriel comes in. back to Marissa thinking in the bathroom, she looks like she's made a decision and leaves. back to the pool house Gabriel: what're you doing Ryan: nothin Gabriel: somebody's hiding Ryan: nah I'm just uh- Gabriel: bored (walks over to him) me to Ryan: I've heard Gabriel: she's just a girl Ryan: (standing up) I know Gabriel: so why are you hiding from her Ryan: I'm not Gabriel: (softly) I don't believe you (she pushes Ryan back on the bed and gets on top of him, she kisses him and he kisses back) Ryan: still bored? Gabriel: not so much (kisses him) (you see Ryan running his hand up her leg which lifts her dress a little exposing her thigh, then up her back. she is rocking back and forth on him, and its getting more heated . he undoes her top around her neck and lets it fall so you can only see her bra on her top half. (hear the sound of the door handle being pushed down) they both look towards the door to see a shocked/stunned Marissa standing in the door way) Marissa: oh sorry I-I thought (Ryan sits up and looks at her) (hurt & confused) sorry (leaves and slams the door) CUT TO: Marissa running away from the pool house almost crying, she goes into the kitchen and is clearly looking for someone. she sees Luke goes up to him and kisses him Marissa: (grabbing his hand) lets go Luke: (follows) yeah ok (Ryan is running after Marissa. you see Marissa sitting in Luke's car and Luke getting in) Luke: we could go to my place, my parents went to Palm Springs Marissa: yeah sure, great (Luke drives off just as Ryan comes out the front door) CUT TO: Jimmy walking with Caleb, they go passed Seth, Summer & another guy (Seth has his head back, and mouth open clearly not wanting to be there) Summer: pharmaceuticals isn't that the largest growing industry in North America (pan to Julie seeing Jimmy & Caleb together, she looks worried) Caleb: (o.s) remember the old days Jimmy, where has the time gone Jimmy: (shakes his hand) great to see you again as always (Caleb walks off and Julie walks over smiling) Julie: hey, congratulations looks like you got yourself a job huh Jimmy: oh yeah Caleb couldn't a ben nicer when he said...there was no way he could hire me Julie: (smile gone) well, hate to say I told you so Jimmy: no you don't (Julie goes to walk away) where're you goin Julie: (turning back) to finish what you started (walks over to Caleb who is with a guy) happy birthday Cal Caleb: Julie, thankyou (to guy) I'll call you next week (to Julie) how are you Julie: uh well I'm sure you've heard, Kirsten's brought you up to speed Caleb: I'm really sorry, about everything, I really liked your husband Julie: soon to be ex-husband...can't expect me to stay with him not after he's lied to me, left us with nothing Caleb: nothing Julie: yeah, I mean I spose I'm gonna have to get a job now doing god knows what, its not like I have any marketable skills Caleb: I'm sure that's not true, you know if there's anything that I can do for you or the girls Julie: oh you're very very sweet and very busy (kisses his cheek) I just wanted to say happy birthday Caleb: I'm never to busy for you, we'll have dinner figure something out Julie: I'd like that, thankyou (smiles) (walks off) CUT TO: the backyard, Summer is walking up to Seth who is sitting on a chair backwards and looking completely bored/fed up. Summer: hey, what're you doing I need you to introduce me t- Seth: ok you know what Summer ah no Summer: what Seth: this whole night all you've done is use me to meet rich older guys Summer: (offended) that's-not true (Seth gives her a look) ok... maybe a little Seth: do you have any idea how pathetic it is to sit there an listen to you babble about mergers and acquisitions while some guy just stares at your boobs Summer: which guy was starting at my boobs (looks around) Seth: who cares (stands up) listen to me the point is that that guy doesn't you, he doesn't care about who you really are. infact he has no idea that every day of 3rd grade you shared your lunch with that little skinny squirrel that kept getting his nuts stolen by that fat squirrel Summer: I hated that mean squirrel Seth: and-none of those guys were there when you had to read your poem aloud in class and your hand was shaking because you were nervous and you cared what the other kids thought Summer: poem...what poem? Seth: ...I--wish I was a mermaid Summer: (smiling) you remember that? that was like sixth grade Seth: I--wish I was a mermaid and...was friends with all the fish, a shiny tail an sea shells I (Summer kisses him) I w-wish Summer: (smiling) oh I gotta go there's that investment banker from Woodward & McDunoff...its ok I'll introduce myself (walks off still smiling) Seth: (rubs his hands together) this is the greatest party ever CUT TO: Caleb looking at a bottle of win, Sandy walks up Sandy: she has no intention of quitting Caleb: didn't sound that way to me Sandy: oh I wish she would so-so we could-we could get the hell away from you Caleb: if you're looking for a fight Sandy: no save it, you an I both know the only reason your punishing her is cause she is doing so well without you, your afraid she's not gonna need you to tell her how to run the company or her family and I got news for ya she's better then you at both...if you don't wanna lose her then just let her keep doin what she's ben doing, you'll stay rich she'll be happy an I'll-ill figure out a way to make it work Caleb: I need a corkscrew (walks off) CUT TO: Kirsten talking to some guests Kirsten: have a nice time (guests walk off & Kirsten looks lost, Caleb walks over to her) Caleb: big party Kiki...your mom woulda loved it...birthday's holidays she always loved a good party Kirsten: (starting to smile) she did (smile goes) Caleb: I miss her Kirsten: (sadness in her voice)I know...me too Caleb: your sister...you ever hear from her Kirsten: I wanted to invite her but I didn't know where to reach her, the number I have is no longer in service Caleb: (sigh) and then there were two Kirsten: yeah you could... look at it like that Caleb: you're all I got Kiki and if I'm running you so ragged you haven't got time to talk to me anymore Kirsten: that's not true and you know it...I love working for you...I just want you to be prouda me Caleb: ...taking in a stray kid, that's the sorta thing your mom woulda done Kirsten: yeah except she woulda done it just to piss you off (they both laugh) Caleb: (kisses her head) don't be late Monday (Kirsten smiles) CUT TO: Ryan sitting on the stairs, Gabriel sees him and goes up Gabriel: hi Ryan: hi Gabriel: so I guess she likes you, hmm Ryan: I guess...she did Gabriel: oh, you look so sad I...I'd give anything to be that miserable...cause if I remember correctly that's what it feels like to be in love (she runs her fingers through his hair, touches his arm then leaves. Ryan just sits there, almost crying) CUT TO: Marissa & Luke in Luke's bedroom. they are making out on his bed. you see Luke's hand over Marissa's thigh which shows she's only wearing her underwear and nothing on top. goes between close ups of their bodies, and them kissing. It's very steamy Luke: I love you so much (Marissa rolls him over and gets on top of him) Luke: do you...are you... (makes a face to signal 'going further') Marissa: (her nose is on his) ok Luke: yeah, you sure? Marissa: yeah, I wan' to Luke: well should I grab a... Marissa: yeah, ok (He rolls her over so she's now under him, kisses her then moves to the other side of the bed. Marissa rolls over to face the camera, she puts her finger to her lip and looks unsure about if she really wants it, she sucks in her bottom lip and looks almost sad) CUT TO: Ryan sitting on the front steps of the Cohen's, he hears a car pull up and walks over to the railing. he looks down and sees Luke's car) CUT TO: Inside Luke's car Luke: do you want me to walk you in? Marissa: no, thanks Luke: (leaning to her) I love you (kisses her) Marissa: love you too (gets out and waves bye to him) (Marissa rummages through her bag trying to find the key, she looks up and Ryan is walking over) Marissa: (sigh) huh... you're too late (almost crying) (she turns around and goes inside, leaving Ryan standing there hurt and shocked)	Plan: A: Kirsten's father; Q: Who is Caleb Nichol? A: town; Q: Where does Kirsten's father come to with his new girlfriend? A: his new 24-year-old girlfriend; Q: Who is Gabrielle? A: Marissa; Q: Who isn't ready to pick between Luke and Ryan? A: Summer; Q: Who's feelings for Seth begin to show? A: Summer's growing feelings; Q: What begins to show for Seth? Summary: Kirsten's father, Caleb Nichol, comes to town with his new 24-year-old girlfriend, Gabrielle. Marissa isn't ready to pick between Luke and Ryan, but when she walks in on Ryan with Gabrielle, she chooses Luke. Summer's growing feelings for Seth begin to show.
Dwight: Oh, ugh. [stands and looks at meatball in chair] What is this, a meatball? Really? [Stanley laughs] [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: It's always more fun to mess with Dwight with an audience. That was usually Pam so now that she's out I had to find someone else. Turns out that Stanley is quite the comedy fan. But not everything makes him laugh. He has very specific tastes. Through a painstaking process of trial and error, I've found out what he likes. And it's really weird. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Jim, come on! That's so juvenile! What the- [opens drawer full of meatballs] Stanley: You've been meatballed! [laughs] Dwight: Ugh. Stanley: Are you ready for some meatball? Dwight: Aw, man. [Stanley laughs] This is not very clever, Jim. Jim: I know. Stanley: Look for your stapler! Dwight: [Dwight finds stapler in giant meatball] Really Jim? Really? Very funny. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: [to Phyllis] Oh okay. Good night. [climbs in to Dwight's car] What's the haul? Dwight: Thirty-two meatballs. Stanley: Good day. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: That idiot's been feeding us for a week. Stanley: We'll never have to buy meatballs again. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: [phone rings] Dunder Mifflin. Jessica, hi! How are you? Oh yay, that's so great to hear. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: I'm not going to be one of those exes who can't move on. They have their life and I have mine. I'm taking an Italian class. So far I've learned tortellini, spagettini, linguini... Well it's not so much a class as a restaurant, but I do Monday, Wednesday, Friday from seven to nine. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: I will patch you through right now. You sound really pretty today. Okay. Andy: Jessica! I love you! That's a message from my mom. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: My parents met Jessica and they completely flipped for her so they gave me this old family ring to use on her. I know, whoa! Pump the breaks, Bernard, too early! I get it. I just, you know, I'm just carrying it around, seeing how it feels. I haven't proposed to anyone in years... Mom took the main diamond out, she thought that had more of a my little brother kind of vibe to it, but... [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [Robert is looking at pictures of a house online] Whoa, looks pretty nice. Got a little bit of a Shining vibe, though. Oscar: Oh, who needs a house that size? Dwight: Big. Stupid. Pure chump bait. Robert: I'm selling the house, actually. Jim: You know, there's a glare from over here... oh wow, that's magnificent. Robert: It's mid-recession in a depressed area of a faltering state and I've got the most expensive house on the market. The one percent are suffering too, people. I wanted it to be my Playboy mansion. A temple to wine, revelry, sx, intrigue... this was hot on the heels of Eyes Wide Shut, mind you. Then I met my wife, she moved in, made it her own. Now she's left me and forced me to sell the place. The ultimate insult? They're calling my speakeasy lounge a rumpus room. [Jim laughs] Does my turmoil amuse you, Jim? Jim: I'm sorry, I thought you were making a joke. Robert: What could you possibly have found funny in what I said? What was the joke you thought you heard? Jim: I guess I thought you were approaching it with more of a sarcasm than misery. Kind of laughing at your own pain, sad clown thing. Robert: Oh yes. How hilarious it is to laugh at clowns, the painted jesters of the dying circus industry. Very funny, Jim. I get it. Andy: Um, I'm getting reports of a serious outbreak of the grumpies in here. Robert: A beautiful monster cost me my forties and my dream home. I think I'm entitled to the occasional bad day. Andy: Well, please tell Susan we all say hi. Kevin: Dude, what if, since you're feeling grumpy, we all swing by tonight and check out your indoor pool? [Robert laughs] Oscar: Kevin, no. Robert: What, as some sort of last hoorah? Kevin: Yeah. All of us in the pool, saying hoorah. Maybe the last one that says hoorah is it. Robert: You know I suppose someone should enjoy the place before I hand it over to the staging experts at Remax tomorrow. Let's try this: everyone, tonight, my house, wear a swimsuit. Let's just call it a get-together. And let's say no food. Kevin: Hey Oscar, was that you who just created a party out of thin air or was it me? Oscar: That was you, Kevin. Kevin: It was me. [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: You going tonight, kiddo? Cause I can give you a lift. Erin: Oh, I don't know, Meredith. It seems like you shouldn't drive maybe ever. Meredith: It's no problem. You live right near me. Erin: How do you know where I live? Meredith: Andy followed you home after the Christmas party. Erin: Why? Meredith: He wanted to make sure California didn't put it in you. Erin: Oh. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Wow. Andy's such a weird stalker. Following me home like that when he has a girlfriend? I should get a restraining order. [squeaks] [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: [sticks a hand in the pool] Oh, it is warm. Cathy: It's almost too warm. Gabe: I'm feeling eighty-two, eighty-two and a half. Ryan: Oh, so close. Eighty-one. Gabe: [to Cathy] Well, we'll say its eight-two and it'll be our secret. Cathy: [to Jim] Hey, late guy. Jim: Hey. Wow. Just stopping by. Got another party to go to. A wife and two kids at home party. Andy: Oh. Jim: DJ Pam Halpert is spinning some serious Radio Disney tonight. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: You're looking at the master of leaving parties early. They key is, you have to make a strong impression, so you want to have a picture taken, you want to say some peculiar non sequitur that people remember, you want to note something unique, a talking point, for later. I don't mean to brag, but New Year's Eve, I was home by nine. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Robert, just wanted to grab you one second. This place is amazing, by the way. Robert: You should see the whole thing. Jim: I bet I should. [takes cell phone photo] That's beautiful, I'm going to email that to you. Robert: I'm just about to give the tour. Jim: All right- Robert: Join us. You must see what you were laughing about. Jim: I must... [SCENE_BREAK] Jessica: [looks at pool] Wow. Andy: [hides ring] Yeah, it's pretty serious poolage. Jessica: [sees Andy's hand in his pocket] What are you doing? Andy: Hmm? Flicking a bug off my wiener. [they both laugh] Jessica: Gross. I'm getting a drink. Do you want anything? Andy: No, I'm good. Erin: [runs to Andy] Funny how we can be surrounded by people and still feel so lonely. Hi. Andy: Hi. Erin: How is everything? How's your car? Andy: It's great. You know. Reliable. Great mileage. Erin: Is that so? How about this weekend we take that sucker to a duck pond or something? Maybe get caught in the rain? Andy: Well, I can't. I'm going skiing with Jessica. you know, a couple of dopes on the slopes. Erin: Oh, like a goodbye trip. Andy: No. What? Jessica: Hey. Erin: Hi. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: I guess Andy isn't totally over his current girlfriend. But, if he was jealous once before then maybe I can make him jealous again. Just not with Robert. He told me he was a ride I wouldn't survive, and I believe him. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: Val. You made it. Val: Yup, yup. Darryl: Uh oh, look at this. Red plastic cup, red plastic cup. How about that? Val: You know, you are just as dumb at night. Darryl: Mmm. [they clink cups] Andy: All right, theres- this would be no problem. I could swim under, one breath. Jessica: No, show me. Andy: Okay. Jessica: Dive in right here. Andy: In a minute. In a minute. Jessica: Okay. You don't know what you're doing. Andy: A minute would be cool. Erin: Hey, Dwight Snoot. Dwight: What- Erin: What you doing? Dwight: I'm relaxing. Scram. [pushes her] Erin: Ow. Andy: Hey, Stanley. Um, what happened to my pants? Stanley: I moved them. Pants only need a chair if there's a person in them. Andy: Where... [finds pants, looks for ring] Erin: Come on, don't you want to play? Dwight: Oh really? Erin: Yeah. Dwight: Yeah, you want to play you little hick? [kicks her in to the pool, Erin screams] Kevin: Whoa. Angela: Dwight! Oh my gosh! Dwight! [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: Here we have the parlor. I imagined people would set down their coats and symbolically their inhibitions. This was the gateway. You enter this room a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a judge, but beyond it you're simply a pen1s, a vg1n, hunger, ache. Susan used it as a Pilates studio. Oscar: [sees wine collection] Holy cow! Robert: Wine collection. Oscar: How many bottles? Three hundred? Robert: [laughs] About twelve hundred. What the hell, grab a bottle. Less inventory for the lawyers. Oscar: Toby! Chateau Margaux ninety-five. You know your wine. Toby: Well, and you have a... yes, a- d- another chateau. Ryan: Robert, you are too kind. Robert: Oh. Gabe: Too kind doesn't begin to cover it. Ryan: With ammunition like this we are in for quite a night, you and me. Gabe: And Gabe-y makes three. Jim: Robert, thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you for all this. This night's been magical. Robert: Jim, come see this next room. I think you especially would like it. Jim: Really? Why? Robert: I don't know. Maybe not. Just come. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: [Dwight dunks her] Oh! Dwight: [laughs] You regret attacking me now, hick? Huh? Erin: Stop it. Dwight, I was flirting with you. I was trying to use you to make Andy jealous. Dwight: I'm not going to help you. Why would you choose me? Because I'm mighty? Because I'm the manliest man in the office? I'll do it. [he picks her up] Erin: [giggles] Oh Dwight! [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: [giggles] Stop. Dwight: You stop. Erin: No, you stop. Dwight: No, you stop. Erin: [to camera] Is he looking? [shakes her head] Oh. You can stop. Dwight: Okay, you can stop. Erin: No, no, no, he's not looking. Dwight: No, you can stop. Erin: You can actually stop. Kelly: Whoa, you guys, I just found this insane engagement ring. Is anyone missing this? Meredith: The main stone's missing. Kelly: I don't know. It looks pretty great to me. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: I pictured myself here every night eating a leg of mutton, the juices dripping down my bare chest, wiping my fingers on the walls. Then I met the vegan. Jim: Good night. Oscar: [raises wine bottle] To the kitchen! All: To the kitchen! Robert: To the kitchen. Onward! Oscar: Toby, what's compelling about this is the note of persimmon. Right? Toby: Note? It's a symphony. Oscar: Okay, you have to join my wine-tasting club. Toby: I would love that. [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: Toby, you are playing a dangerous game. Guess I'm through the gateway now, though, right? [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: [to Val] You know, I don't think I've ever been in this exact angle before. I was scared at first, but I like it. Meredith: You guys got to try this pool. No top scum, no band-aids. This thing is choice. Val: You in? Darryl: Yeah, sure, sure. I'll be right in. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: I've been working out. But, the problem is, I've been building muscle underneath. And that top layer hasn't burned off yet. Awkward stage. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [he and Erin feed each other chips] Ah, mmm. So good. Now take a chip, crush it into my face, really rub the grease around. Do it. Now rub it in. Oh, yeah, that's so good. Ah... Erin: Andy's not even looking. I think sexy eating is a dead end. Dwight: Damn it. Erin: What is the most romantic possible thing? Dwight: We can get some chicken fights going in the pool. Erin: Dwight, that's just- that's really perfect. Thank you. Both: Yes! [they high five and jump in the pool] Angela: You're in my way! Erin: Andy, Dwight and I challenge you and Jess to a chicken fight. Winner take all. Dwight: Chicken fight! Andy: No thanks. Erin: Dang it! What the heck already? Dwight: Hey, Cathy. Chicken fight! Cathy: Okay, yeah. Who's going to be my partner? Where's Jim? Kevin: I'm right here! [gets in pool] Cold. Cold. Come on, Cath. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Yeah- oh! Erin: [knocks Cathy off Kevin's shoulders] Yes! Woo! Dwight: Woohoo! Yes! Erin: Dwight, our chemistry is really clicking. We work so well together. Dwight: I know. I could just bang you right now. Erin: He's not looking. [Dwight dumps her in the pool] Hey! [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: I had two bears sewn together to make this king-size. Total waste of two bears. Jim: To both these bears. Ryan: To both these bears. Toby: Bears. Oscar: To both these bears. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: When I put in the screening room, I bought three movies: Caligula, Last Tango in Paris, and Emmanuelle 2. Last two movies I actually watched in here Marley and Me and On Golden [bleep] Pond. Ryan: I mean, it's clearly meant for watching erotic cinema. Gabe: Yup. We could watch some right now if you want. I got a Korean film on my iPod if you want to just- if you have the cables. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Kelly, that's a crazy ring you found. Kelly: Yeah, thanks. I'm really glad I found it. Andy: I can't believe you're wearing it. Are you not superstitious at all? Kelly: Shh. Of course I'm superstitious. What are you talking about? Andy: The ring of a failed marriage might have some sinister energy, right? Am I just being silly? Phyllis: Oh, I don't think you're being silly. Kelly: Oh God. [takes off ring] Andy: You know what, I can just sell it and put the money in the party fund. Phyllis: [snatches ring] Then another woman will get it. We can't allow that. We have to destroy it. Jessica: [to Andy] Come on. Let's chicken fight those two. Val: [comes up from under water] How was that? Kevin: Okay. Watch my toes. [does hand stand] Darryl: Hey Val. Want a beer? It might taste better than that pool water you've been drinking. Val: No, I'm good. Thank you. Darryl: Cool. Val: Cool. [to Kevin] Does Darryl not swim? Kevin: That's racist! I don't know. But I would say, by looking at him, no, Darryl does not swim. [SCENE_BREAK] Jessica: [knocks Erin off Dwight's shoulders] Yes! Andy: Yeah! Dwight: [to Erin] Maybe we should take a little break. Erin: Dwight, we've got this. I promise. I will not leave your shoulders, no matter what. Dwight: Okay. Erin: One more? Andy: Yeah! Jessica: Yeah! Great! [others cheer and clap] Erin: Mush, mush, mush! Come on! Dwight: Go! Erin: Go! Okay. Yeah. Jessica: Here we go! [knocks Erin over] Yes! Andy: Yay! [Erin comes back up] Whoa! Kevin: Wow! Andy: I cannot believe you're still up! Jessica: I cannot believe it either. Erin: I've got this! [Dwight gasps] Charge! Go! Go! [Dwight sinks] Andy: [muffled] Dwight are you okay? Hey, damn it- [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [coughs up water] Erin, did we win? Erin: Sure. Sure we did. Dwight: You're lying. We didn't win. Erin: Hey, hey, hey Dwight. It's okay. Just rest. Just rest. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: You've broken up your last couple, you evil ring. Do it. [Meredith sets fire to paper ring boat] Angela: We're in the pool! Meredith: Shut it, Angela. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Ugh. Same old party, same old people. Am I right? Reminds me of Phyllis's birthday. Andy: Ooh, do not remind me of Phyllis's birthday. Dwight: I know. [laughs] But boy, that Erin. She sure is a ripe little tiger, isn't she? Rroww! And to think, I always thought of her as a second Meredith. Respectfully, I don't want us walking into a similar Angela kind of situation. Andy: Mmm. Dwight: So I just want to make sure that you are completely, one hundred percent done with Erin. Andy: Last I checked, I'm with Jessica. And I like to get my monog on. It's monogamy for my hog 'n me. Dwight: Not what I asked. Andy: We're done. Erin and I are over. Dwight: So then you won't mind if tonight I just go crazy on her, just go nuts, rrargh. With sx. Andy: Have at it. Or take it slow. Whatever you guys work out. Dwight: [sighs] You're an idiot. Kevin: Kelly, that is mine! This is mine! [Val, Erin and Kevin play with pool noodles] Erin: Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Kevin: No! Val: Oh I've got him! Darryl: Cannonball! [jumps in pool] Let's do this! [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [Erin swims up with ring] Wow. Erin: So I kind of stepped on this. I think it's yours. Andy: Yeah. Oh wow. How did you know it was mine? Erin: The Bernard family seal. Duh. Andy: Duh. Erin: Sorry if your special night was ruined. Andy: Oh, whoa. Whoa, no, it's not a special night. Erin: Oh, you weren't going to do that? Andy: Honestly Erin, I don't know what I'm doing. I... I just... I don't know. Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Andy's confused. That's not what I was hoping for, but it's not so bad either. I can live with confused. I get confused. I totally get confused. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: And of course, the pool. The ultimate lubricant for any wild evening. It was here that my parties would have crescendoed into true madness. Jim: To madness. Ryan: To madness. Toby: To madness. [Robert laughs] Meredith: To madness. Jim: Hey, um, I think you parked my car in. Is there any way you can move your van? Meredith: Oh, I'm sorry. When I got here, I put my keys in a bowl. Jim: Are you serious? Ryan: Robert, I want you to know, I'm here to rock with you as late as you want, man. Gabe: And that goes double for me. I'll stay even later than you'd like. Oscar: [Toby pours wine into Oscar's mouth] Toby! I am Bacchus, god of wine! Toby: And I am Bacchus's friend! Robert: Gentlemen, bear witness. While I've been mourning the nights that never were, one of them has been unfolding here before me. This is no get-together. This is a party. [Robert strips, jumps in pool, Gabe and Ryan join him] All: Yes! Woohoo! Bravo! Jim: And there's my talking point. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: Yes, that's it. Push yourselves, boys. It's not a party if you don't do something that scares you. I need a breather. Oh. Oh. You two keep going. Ryan: Hey, he's asleep. We can just leave. Gabe: So leave.	Plan: A: Robert; Q: Who decides to sell his mansion? A: his mansion; Q: What does Robert decide to sell due to his divorce? A: Kevin; Q: Who suggests that Robert throw an office pool party? A: an office pool party; Q: What does Kevin suggest Robert throw to sell his mansion? A: Andy; Q: Who does Erin try to make jealous by flirting with Dwight? A: his massive home; Q: What does Robert give everyone a tour of? Summary: When Robert decides to sell his mansion due to his divorce, Kevin suggests that he throw an office pool party, where Erin attempts to make Andy jealous by flirting with Dwight. Robert gives everyone a tour of his massive home, which increasingly makes everyone feel uncomfortable.
Act 1 Scene 1 - Frasier's Booth Fade in. Frasier's booth - Roz is checking things over when Frasier bursts in. Frasier: Dear God! Roz: Hey, Frasier. Frasier: It's a minefield out there! Everywhere I go, people are talking about this mini-series I've been watching! Roz: Oh, yeah! Did you see the ending last night? When that... Frasier: Bup, bup, bup, bup! I attended a benefit last night. I had to tape it, and I have yet to see it. Roz: Oh, well who would have thought it? Mr. "PBS" watching a trashy mini-series. Frasier: I don't think it's trashy at all! In fact, I think the intricacies of the plot are downright Dickensian. Roz: Yeah, Angie Dickensian! Frasier: Anyway, I'm just having a very difficult time having a conversation without having to avoid people telling me the ending. A woman, Betty, sticks her head around the door. Betty: Hi, Roz! Did you watch last night? Roz: Yes! Betty: Wasn't it great when... Frasier rushes to the door. Frasier: Yes, goodbye, Betty. He pushes Betty outside and closes the door. FADE OUT. Scene 2 - Frasier's Apartment. Fade in. Frasier's Apartment. Frasier comes through the door and slams his keys down on the case beside it. Daphne: Hey, Dr. Crane, how was your day? He tears off his coat, stomps over to the hooks and hangs it up. Frasier: Interminable! Is the tape in the VCR? Daphne: Yes, all cued up. Oh, you've got to call me when you get to the part with Heather's baby. Frasier: [going towards the sherry, turns and stares at her] Heather had a baby? Daphne: Sorry. Frasier: Well, who's the father? Oh no, no, no, don't tell me. He gets his sherry as Daphne heads for the kitchen. Daphne: I'll go put your popcorn in the microwave. Frasier: Thank you. He takes his sherry over to the couch, sits down and gives out a happy little sigh in preparation for an evening of couch potato bliss. Martin enters. Martin: Hey, Fras. Frasier: Hi, Dad. Martin: Look, I got some bad news. I guess there isn't a good way to tell you somethin' like this. Your god-uncle died. Frasier: [confused] My...god-uncle? [Martin nods] There's no such thing as a god-uncle. Martin: Yes there is! It's your godfather's brother. You remember your god-uncle Charlie. Frasier: No! I barely even remember my godfather, he died twenty years ago. Martin: Oh, yeah? Well now his brother's dead too, so shake a leg! The wake's in twenty minutes. Frasier: Dad, you know as much as I'd like to pay my respects, catch up with my god-cousins and meet the god-neighbors, I have some urgent business that just can't wait until later. Daphne comes in with a bowl. Daphne: All right, here's your popcorn...and the remote. There, enjoy your show. Martin gives him a sour look. Frasier: [getting up] Oh, all right! One hour! I don't even know why I'm going. The man was a ghoul, he used to hide his glass eye in my marble bag! Martin: [excited] I knew you remembered him! They get up and move towards the hall, the doorbell rings. Martin: Just give me a couple minutes to get changed. Frasier goes to the door, opens it to reveal Niles. Niles: [coming in] Hello, Frasier. Frasier: Hello, Niles. Ooh, Niles, you'd be smart to get out of here. Dad's dragging me off to a wake for my god-uncle Charlie. Niles: Is he the one who used to plop his eyeball into his mashed potatoes and say "I'm watching what I eat"? Frasier: Yes! Niles makes a very disturbed face, then - Niles: So, is Daphne here? Frasier: Uh, yes, she is. Why? Niles: [hanging up his coat] I'm asking her out on a date. And don't give me that look... why shouldn't I? She's single. I'm single. That's what single people do. Frasier: Are you sure you're ready for this? Niles: Will you stop it? I'm not talking about eloping here, it's just dinner. Frasier: Well, all right. I suppose you've thought this through. Maybe it is time. Daphne enters on this last line, carrying a laundry basket. Daphne: Time for what? Frasier: Time for me to, uh, put this popcorn away for later. He grabs the bowl and heads to the kitchen. Daphne: Aren't you going to watch your program? Niles: Apparently he has to take Dad to a wake. Daphne: Oh. [She heads for the door.] Niles: Listen, Daphne. Do you have a minute? Daphne: [turning back] Sure. Niles: There's something I wanted to ask you. Nothing earth- shattering, it's just, uh... Daphne: Yes? Niles: [after a nervous pause] What's that perfume you're wearing? Daphne: [smiling] Leave it to you to notice. It's Obsession. Niles: No! No it isn't! I was just curious. Daphne: No, I'm quite sure it's Calvin Klein's Obsession. Niles: Oh, yes! It's very pleasing. Daphne: I've even spray a bit on my brush and comb it through my hair. Silly really, as if anyone's going to smell my hair. She leaves, Niles stares dreamily at the door for a second, then rushes to the kitchen. Frasier: Well, what did she say? Niles: I couldn't do it! I was about to ask the question, then all I could think of was, what if she said "No'?"! Frasier: Oh, Niles. No surprise. After all you've been through with Maris, you were just scared of another rejection. Niles: I was more than scared, I was terrified. I can't go on like this. [He goes to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water.] Worshipping Daphne from afar... Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be completely in love with someone and not be able to tell her how you feel? He turns and drops his bottle in a start. Daphne is standing in the kitchen doorway with a surprised look on her face. Frasier is as shocked as Niles. Daphne: Sorry. I, I just came back for the fabric softener. I didn't mean... I'm sorry. [She turns and rushes from the kitchen.] Niles: [completely panicked] Oh, my God! Frasier: Oh, my God! Niles: Oh, my God! Frasier, how long was she standing there? Frasier: I don't know. If I'd known Daphne was standing there, I would have said "Shut up, Daphne's standing there." Niles: You saw how she ran out of here. She heard. She heard everything. Frasier: Niles, Niles, Niles. Listen, calm down. Now listen, this may even be for the best. You said you wanted to take the next step. Niles: Next step?! I was just hurled down the entire flight of stairs! I can't believe this is actually happening! Did Daphne really hear me say that [Daphne comes back in] I'm completely in love with - AAHH! Daphne: I'm sorry! I really do need that fabric softener. She gets it out of a cabinet while Niles clutches the bottle of water with a look of panic and apprehension on his face, then exits. Frasier: Niles, you've got to talk to her! Niles: Now?! I can't! Frasier: If you wait, it will only become incredibly awkward! You can't leave things like this, Niles. [He grabs a sputtering Niles around the shoulders and pushes him towards the living room.] Come on, you've got to resolve it now. Go, go! [Frasier heads for the bedrooms.] Niles: Daphne! Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, I didn't mean... He starts talking and they interrupt each other. They grind to a halt and - Niles: Go ahead. Daphne: I'm terribly sorry. I know I wasn't supposed to hear that. Niles: No, I'm glad you heard. It's something I've been wanting to tell you for the longest time. Daphne: Well, what took you so long? [She smiles.] I think it's wonderful. Niles: [breaking into a surprised grin] You do? Daphne: Yes, of course I do! [She puts the softener down and runs to him.] Oh, you dear sweet man, give me a hug! She throws her arms around him. Niles, stunned and ecstatic, returns the hug. They share a happy laugh and smile at each other. Daphne takes his hands in hers. Daphne: So, who is she? Niles: [confused] Who? Daphne: Well, this woman you're so in love with. Who is she? Niles: [a grin frozen on his face] You didn't hear that part, did you? Daphne: No, so come on! What's her name? You can't back out now. Niles: No, you're right, I can't. OK, her name. Well, her name just happens to be Da - Phyllis. [A look of "WHAT did I say?" crosses his brow.] Daphne: Oh, I've never heard that name. DaPhyllis. Niles: It's a family name. Her friends call her "Phyllis." 'Scuse me. [He turns and goes to the kitchen.] I'll get some water. She smiles after him. Frasier comes in. Frasier: Where's Niles? Daphne: Oh, he's in the kitchen. I'm sorry to barge in on the two of you like that. Frasier: Oh, that's all right Daphne. Did you and Niles have a little chat? Daphne: Oh, yes! He was a bit shy at first, but then he came clean. I must say, I couldn't be happier! Frasier: Well, that is wonderful! Let me be the first to raise a glass to... [Niles charges in from the kitchen, alarm in his eyes and waves him off with a big gesture.] to god-uncle Charlie. You know, Daphne, as long as you're doing the laundry, the kitchen towels could use a washing. Oh, and my oven mitts are getting a bit crunchy. Daphne: All, right then. Daphne heads to the kitchen. Niles has sunk onto a chair at the table. Frasier: What the hell is going on? Niles: All she heard was that I was in love with someone. She never heard who. And when she asked, I panicked and blurted out the first name that popped into my head - Phyllis. Frasier: Phyllis?! Niles: It's a neighbor I saw on the elevator this morning. The woman had a sesame seed stuck between her front teeth. It was the size of a blanched almond. Frasier: Oh, lord. Niles: Maybe it was a blanched almond. If she had Muselix for breakfast it could have been... Frasier: [grabbing his hand] Niles, stop! You have got to clear this up. Daphne comes from the kitchen with the towels and mitts. Frasier: Oh, well, I'm off to...bring the car around for Dad. Daphne: Bye-bye. Niles: Bye. Frasier goes out the door. Niles nervously sits on the couch. Daphne: All right now: Tell me more about this Phyllis. Niles: Oh. Actually, Daphne, I'd rather not. Daphne: Oh, come on, you said you wanted to talk about it. So, have you asked her out, yet? Niles: No. Daphne: And why not? You said yourself you were in love with her. [Martin enters.] Martin: In love with who? Daphne: Phyllis. Martin: Who's Phyllis? Niles: [getting up] A woman I met. Daphne: And he's quite keen on her. I've just been giving him some dating advice. Martin: Oh, Niles. All you need to know is that women go crazy for flattery. It doesn't matter if it's a big fat lie: They'll still buy it. But whatever advice Daphne's giving you too, must be great. 'Cause she's smart as a whip. Daphne: Oh, thank you Mr. Crane. Martin winks at Niles behind her back and goes out the door. Daphne: So, tell me about this dream woman of yours. Niles: Oh, I don't know. Daphne: Oh, come on! I can see you're crazy about her. Niles: Well, all right. She's very beautiful. And very sweet. And she has a smile that makes my knees weaken. [Daphne smiles at this and Niles looks away as his heart speeds up a bit.] Daphne: You know Dr. Crane, if this woman is as wonderful as you say she is, then you shouldn't waste another moment. She won't be on the market forever. Niles: You're right. I've been a fool to hesitate as long as I have. Daphne: That's the spirit! Niles: I'm gonna do it! Daphne: Good for you! Don't leave time for second thoughts. [She grabs his coat from the hall.] You go ask her out this instant. Niles: Daphne, that won't be necessary. Daphne: I know you're feeling brave, but it's quite nasty out. Niles: No, you don't understand. I don't have to leave this room to ask "Phyllis" on a date. Daphne: You don't? Niles: No, because, [he steels himself] because you see, Daphne: [he looks her right in the eye] I know her work number by heart! Daphne: Well, then! Daphne turns to grab the phone, and Niles clenches his fists and stomps his feet in a tantrum against his own cowardice. When Daphne turns back, he puts a big smile on his face and turns the stomping into a happy little jump. Daphne bounces up and down a couple of times with him. Daphne: Oh, look at me! My heart's racing! Niles: [dialing] Mine, too. Phyllis, hello! Niles Crane! How are you? ... Um, I was wondering if you would want to have dinner with me sometime? CUT TO: Niles' apartment at the Montana. The answering machine is on a table. Niles: [voice over from machine] You would? How 'bout tonight at my place? ... Eight o'clock sounds great! [SCENE_BREAK] End of Act 1 [SCENE_BREAK] Act 2 THE POTATOES ARE THE POLITICIANS Scene 1 - Niles' Apartment Fade in. Niles's apartment. He is sitting on the sofa, playing solitaire while talking on the phone. Niles: So, anyway, what would you do, if you were in my position? Would you tell her everything and just let the chips fall where they may, or...? Uh, yeah. Well I do see your point. [Doorbell rings.] I have to run. So, I'll take the three-year subscription and the travel clock. He hangs up and answers the door. Daphne is there with a pie. Niles: Daphne! Daphne: Hello. I was out doing some shopping, and I, I thought you might need some desert for your big dinner with Phyllis tonight. [She comes in.] Niles: Oh, yes! Well, I was just doing some last minute tidying up [grabs up the playing cards] for that... Daphne: And I suppose you've got about eight things cooking on the stove. Niles: Of course. Daphne: So, I'll get out of your way. Soon as I pop this in the fridge. She heads for the kitchen, Niles desperately trying to stop her. Niles: No, no. Please, don't trouble yourself. I'll do it. They enter the kitchen. It is spotless, with nothing being cooked at all. There is a box by the stove. Daphne: Dr. Crane! There's barely enough pasta her for one person. Is this your idea of a romantic dinner? Niles: Well... Daphne: Ugh, thank heavens I stopped by. [Opens up the refrigerator.] I can whip up a salad with what's in here, I'll stick this roast in the microwave to defrost, where do you keep the cooking sherry? Niles: You know what, Daphne, you're right. I am completely under- prepared for this. Why don't I call Phyllis and put her off until next week? Daphne: You're not backing out of this now! Don't worry, I'll fix this place RIGHT up for a nice intimate evening. Candles, some soft music... I know those things always put me in a romantic mood. Niles: Well I suppose it would be rude of me to cancel... Daphne: Course it would. Now hurry up and get ready! And wear that blue blazer of yours, no woman can resist you in that. Niles gets a faraway look in his eyes. Niles: Right. Daphne: Good lord, look at the time! [She grabs him by the shoulders and pushes him out of the kitchen.] Honestly, Dr. Crane, sometimes I wonder what kind of a fantasy world you're living in. Now go on! She slaps him on the backside. He jumps and a silly grin joins the faraway look as he races up the stairs. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene 2 - Niles' apartment. There is a small, intimate dinner table set for two. Daphne has lit candles all over the apartment. An opera is playing on the stereo. Niles (in his blue blazer) comes down the stairs, stunned at what she has done to the place. Daphne: Oh, don't you look handsome. Niles: Thank you. Daphne, this place looks wonderful. And excellent choice of music, I love this aria! Daphne: Yes, she has a gorgeous voice, doesn't she? It's a pity she never got quite the recognition of a Joan Sutherland or a Renata Tebaldi. Niles: [surprised at the depth of her comment] I had no idea you knew so much about sopranos. Daphne: Yeah, well, you don't live with your brother for five years and not learn a thing or two about divas. [They laugh as she moves to the kitchen.] By the way, the roast is coming along nicely. How are you at chopping vegetables? Niles: Are you kidding? You don't get forearms like these from just... conducting your stereo. He follows her in. Daphne: Oh, I'm very excited for you. I just love first dates. [They wash their hands in the sink together.] Niles: I don't see why. They're always so awkward. Daphne: Yeah, but once in a while, when the chemistry's just right, they can be magical. The "me, too's" as you realize all you have in common, the electricity of that first accidental touch... Soon, you're letting your guard down and saying the silliest things. They both reach for the paper towels and brush hands. Niles: Oh, sorry. You touched me, now we have to get married. Daphne: [giggling] Here you are. [She hands him a towel. Again, he has a "WHAT did I just say?" look.] Niles: [brushing past her] Sorry. Daphne: Sorry. Now, I was thinking for the salad: some cucumbers and carrots. How 'bout some celery? [She begins cutting carrots as he slices the cucumber.] Niles: Oh, no. No celery, hate the stuff. Daphne: Me, too. Why do you have it, then? Niles: I guess it's just habit. Maris used to liked to have it around in case she felt like binging. Daphne: When I was little, I actually thought celery was the meanest vegetable. Radishes were the smartest, beets were the policemen... They begin to chop at the same pace. Niles: Do you hear that? We're chopping in rhythm. Daphne: Yes, we are, aren't we? [To the rhythm of the chopping - ] Dum-da, dum-da, dum-da, dum-da... She keeps this up as Niles begins to sing. Niles: Heart and soul, I fell in love with you, Heart and soul, The way a fool would do... Daphne joins in, and - Both: Madly! Because you held me tight, and stole a kiss in the night! Niles: Buh-buh-buh... The break up laughing and playfully slap each other on the arms. The doorbell rings. Niles: Oh, damn! Who could that be? Daphne: [excited] It's Phyllis! Niles gets a look on his face along the lines of "You're probably right.", followed by "HUH?" Daphne: Well go on! Go and let her in. [Pushes him towards the door.] Niles exits the kitchen and crosses the living room. Niles: [singing under his breath] Go away, whoever's at the door, Go away, And don't come back no more... He opens the door to reveal Frasier. Niles: Frasier! I thought you were supposed to be at a wake. Frasier: We left! Even the mourners were babbling about the mini- series. Niles: Well, I'm sure you're in a rush to get back home and watch the rest of the show... Frasier: No, no, Niles. Actually, everybody's heading over to the Kiwanis club to have a post-wake kegger. Could you please take Dad? Niles: Me? Frasier: Please! Niles: Well, they're your god-family! Daphne comes out of the kitchen. Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane. I thought you were Phyllis. Frasier: Phyllis? Daphne: Yeah, she's due any moment, so you better be runnin' along. I'll be leaving meself as soon as the roast is done. Frasier's mouth is open in shock, Niles is staring at the floor in embarrassment. Frasier: Daphne... is cooking dinner... for your date with a fictitious woman. Why not just set a place for the March Hare and the Mad Hatter?! Niles: I didn't plan for this to happen, but we are having the most perfect evening! I'm feeling my confidence return, I just need a few more minutes alone, and I'll be able to tell her everything. [The doorbell rings.] Frasier: Niles, the longer you continue with this absurd lie, the more likely it is to blow up in your face! Niles: Why are you always such a doomsayer? As long as I keep track of what I'm saying, nothing is going to blow up on anyone! [He opens the door, a woman is standing there.] Phyllis! Frasier: [whimsically] Ka-Boom! Phyllis: Hello, Dr. Crane. Some of you mail wound up in my box today. Niles: Oh, well, aren't you considerate? Phyllis: [to Frasier] Hello. Frasier: Hello, I'm Frasier, Niles's brother. Phyllis: Oh, well, I hope I'm not interrupting anything. Niles: As a matter of fact, we... Daphne comes in from the kitchen. Frasier watches all of the next bit with a very bemused smile on his face. Daphne: Hello... You must be Phyllis! Phyllis: Yes. Do I know you? Daphne: I'm Daphne. [as a private aside] I'm just a friend. [She heads back to the kitchen.] Make yourself comfortable. We were starting to worry about you. Phyllis: Excuse me? Daphne: Can I get you a glass of wine? Phyllis: Well, all right, I guess. I mean I really just came by to drop off... Daphne: I'll be back in a snap. [She goes into the kitchen.] Phyllis: That woman seemed to think that you were expecting me. Niles: Yes, I've been making an effort to meet my neighbors, and I guess you didn't get the invitation. Phyllis: No. It's just dumb luck that I happened to stop by tonight. Daphne brings a glass of wine to Phyllis. Daphne: Here we are. Now, the appetizers are almost ready, and it won't be too much longer before the roast is done. I hope you're hungry. [She goes back into the kitchen.] Phyllis: Oh, the invitation was for dinner? Niles: Yes, but don't you worry about it a bit, we'll do it another time! Phyllis: Well, I'd love to stay. The doorbell rings, Niles opens it to find Martin. Martin: Hey, Niles. Frasier, you comin' or not? Frasier: In a minute, Dad. Daphne brings a few things out and sets them on the table. Martin: Oh, Daph! What are you doing here? Daphne: Helping Dr. Crane with his dinner. Martin: [to Phyllis] Oh, hi! How ya doin'? Marty Crane. Phyllis: Hi, I'm Phyllis Conrad. Martin: Oh, ho, ho. You're Phyllis, hunh? Daphne: Don't worry, we'll be going soon. I know Dr. Crane's eager to have you all to himself. Phyllis: Really? Martin: Oh, yeah, he's been going on about you all week. Niles: Now, Dad... Martin: How pretty you are, how nice you dress... Niles: Dad, you don't want to be late for your kegger... Martin: Look at him! I've embarrassed him. He's blushing! Phyllis: He's not the only one! Niles: Excuse me, Phyllis. Frasier? Could I, uh, just... [jerking his head towards a private corner] You've gotta help me get rid of her! Frasier: Me? Niles: Yes! Frasier: I've got my hands full with Dad. Martin: So, you really never had any idea he had his eye on you? Phyllis: Well, I did catch him staring at me in the elevator, this morning. Now I know why. Daphne: Dr. Crane, would you give me a hand with the appetizers? Niles: Frasier? [He goes to the kitchen.] Frasier: Dad? You know, I guess it was time we were going. Maybe you could just press for the elevator and I'll be right there in a minute. Martin: All right. Very nice meeting you, Phyllis. Phyllis: Yeah, bye-bye. [Martin leaves.] Phyllis: Well, I must say: Your brother certainly kept his feelings to himself; until tonight. Frasier: Yes, well, he's always been the quiet type. Especially... since all the trouble with Heather. Phyllis: Heather? CUT TO: the kitchen; Daphne is giving Niles a plate of appetizers and last minute instructions. Daphne: Now remember, the pie should be heated, and there's fresh whipped cream to put on the strawberries. [In a risque voice] Or anything else if the night should take that turn... Niles lets out a little laugh, with an 'Oh my God' face, then goes to the living room, where - Phyllis: [whispering] His wife was poisoned? Frasier: [also whispering] Don't worry. He stood trial, they never proved a thing. Niles comes up behind Phyllis and offers the plate up. He is very nervous/anxious for Phyllis to be gone, but in light of Frasier's comments, looks a lot like Peter Lorre in a dangerous mood. Niles: Crab puffs? Phyllis: No. Thank you. I, I just remembered. There is someplace... that I HAVE to be. Thank you very much for the wine. [to herself] Oh my God, I drank the wine! She desperately fumbles with the door and departs as quickly as possible. Niles: Well, thank you! What did you tell her? Frasier: I'll explain later, Niles. Tell you what, though: don't plan on running for the co-op board here anytime soon. He leaves. Daphne: [bringing the salads out] Where'd Phyllis go? Niles: She left. She said she wasn't feeling well. Daphne: I hope you don't mind my saying so, you almost seem relieved that she's gone. Niles: Relieved? Well, Daphne, to tell you the truth, I am relieved. Daphne: I knew it. This is all my fault. Niles: Hmm? Daphne: It's as clear as day, now. You're just not ready for a relationship, and there I was pushing you into it Niles: Daphne... Daphne: Even I could see how uncomfortable you were with Phyllis. Well, she must have picked up on that, too, and that's the real reason she left. What was I thinking? [She sits down on the couch.] Niles: [sitting beside her] No, Daphne, this is not your fault. Daphne: Yes, but I should have seen. You're on the rebound, you're still vulnerable... That's probably why you have so much trouble asking for a simple date in the first place. Niles: [realizing] Yes, I, I suppose you're right. Daphne: I'm so sorry, Dr. Crane, I guess you just need to take some more time. You know, if you rush things you may end up ruining something that has a real chance. No smart woman would ever get involved with a man that's in the middle of a divorce, anyway. I know I never would. Niles: Well, thank you, Daphne. This has all been very helpful. [He rises.] AND thank you for everything you did tonight, even if it didn't work out exactly as I'd hoped. Daphne: Oh, what are friends for? Niles takes the plate of crab puffs towards the kitchen. Daphne: I suppose we should start clearing all this up. [She rises.] Niles turns, without excitement or nervousness, but instead a pure calm resolution. Niles: Actually, Daphne... would you like to stay and have dinner with me? Daphne: You mean that? Niles: Yes. Daphne: Well... yes, that would be lovely. Niles: Wonderful. May I pour you some wine? Daphne: Oh, yes. [She goes to him by the bar.] You know, I know it seems hopeless right now, but I have a feeling that before very long you'll be sitting down to a nice, romantic dinner with the woman of your dreams. Niles: I think you may just be right. Shall we? They go to the table, where Niles holds out Daphne's chair. Daphne: Oh, thank you. Niles leans forward and smells her hair. He gets that faraway look again. Then he sits opposite her. Daphne: [raising her glass] Here's to us! They touch glasses. The opera comes up as they chat animatedly over dinner. [SCENE_BREAK] Frasier is sitting on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and Eddie, watching the end of the mini-series. He has tears in his eyes and is moved by it. He takes some popcorn and offers some to Eddie, holding back tears.	Plan: A: Daphne; Q: Who helps Niles get ready for his date? A: Frasier's apartment; Q: Where does Niles call to ask Daphne out? A: his nerve; Q: What does Niles lose when he calls to ask Daphne out? A: the kitchen; Q: Where does Niles take refuge when he loses his nerve? A: his brother; Q: Who does Niles take refuge with in the kitchen? A: Daphne wanders; Q: Who overhears Niles talking about his problem? A: a name; Q: What does Daphne not hear Niles say about his love? A: then congratulates Niles; Q: What does Daphne do after she overhears Niles's confession? A: his neighbor Phyllis; Q: Who does Niles say he is in love with? A: dinner; Q: What does Niles arrange for Phyllis? A: a romantic atmosphere; Q: What does Daphne help Niles create? Summary: Niles has decided to take the plunge and ask Daphne out on a date. He calls around to Frasier's apartment, but loses his nerve at the crucial moment and takes refuge in the kitchen with his brother. While discussing his problem, Daphne wanders in and overhears him saying how he is in love, though she does not hear a name. She is embarrassed at first, but then congratulates Niles and asks who this woman is, and once again Niles loses his nerve and says the first name that comes into his head: that of his neighbor Phyllis. He then makes a pretense of phoning this Phyllis to ask her out, arranging dinner that evening at his place. Later on, Daphne appears ahead of the scheduled time to help him get dinner ready and create a romantic atmosphere. Frasier also turns up, and then so does the real Phyllis.
"Stargazer in a Puddle" [SCENE_BREAK] TEASER (Open: Booth and Brennan are entering a wet and muddy abandoned warehouse.) BOOTH: (Stepping over puddles in mud) Ooh oh oh... BRENNAN: Well, you should've worn gumboots. BOOTH: (Jumping over the puddles) It's fine, you know I- I'm agile. BOOTH: So, Hodgins asked, uh, Angela to, uh, marry him? BRENNAN: Twice. BOOTH: Oh and she uh, turned him down both times. BRENNAN: I heard all this from Angela. BOOTH: Yeah but did she tell you that he said that he wasn't going to ask her to marry him? BRENNAN: (slightly annoyed) Yes. BOOTH: And she said? BRENNAN: (gesturing) I'd like to marry you. BOOTH: Kinda sudden Bones. Let me think about it. BRENNAN: (Looks at him in disbelief) What? No. Booth, that's what Angela told Hodgins... (Trails off as she notices Booth laughing at her) BRENNAN: (Gets it) You're joking.(Booth jumps over puddle and laughs) BRENNAN: You know, a lot of psychologists say that jokes are the way that we manifest a lot of our hidden desires. BOOTH: (His grin fades and as he turns to follow her he steps in a giant puddle, soaking his right leg.) Ah jeez! BRENNAN: You okay? BOOTH: (annoyed) Yeah, fine. (Shakes off wet leg and looks at the cop at the scene) What do we got? DC COP: Uh, during a foot pursuit last night a suspect tosses a knife into this muck in an effort to avoid incarceration, the fluid gets drained and we start finding stuff. BRENNAN: Define stuff. DC COP: Stuff? (Camera pans to a white sheet with the following) Cell phones, guns, knives, crack vials, evidently you wanna lose something in this vicinity, you toss it in here. Denizens think it's some sort of bottomless pit. (He leads them down a set of stairs) BRENNAN: Does the word "concise" mean anything to you? DC COP: Well we found that, (points to slimy skeleton in a shopping cart, half out of the water) concise enough? (They all shine their flashlights at the body.) BOOTH: Small, kid? BRENNAN: (Squats down beside body) Female, pelvic girdle and skull sutures suggest, (takes a deep breath) pre-adolescent. (Notices a bag) Child's pencil case (glances up at Booth). BOOTH: How long has she been dead? BRENNAN: (To cop) does this freeze over in the winter? DC COP: Yeah, solid. BRENNAN: It's possible she was placed here as long ago as last fall. BOOTH: Cause of death? BRENNAN: Looks like a gunshot wound to the back of the head BOOTH: Can you guess the caliber? BRENNAN: Nothing larger than a .22. BOOTH: (To cop) find any .22's? DC COP: Two BOOTH: Okay, let's get an FBI Forensics team down here to search for bullet fragments. (Brennan sees something in the tiny skeleton's hand and reaches for it. It's a pebble that says, "I LOVE YOU") DC COP: Okay we'll call it in right now. (Brennan walks over to Booth and they examine the pebble) BOOTH: I love you. BRENNAN: You said that pedophiles can delude themselves into thinking they love their victims. (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Hodgin's Work Area. Hodgins is looking through a microscope and Angela is beside him.) HODGINS: Nice traditional church service, very ecumenical [SCENE_BREAK] ANGELA: That's great, as long as the reception makes Caligula blush. HODGINS: Let's hope he got his invitation. ANGELA: Hmm. (Camera scans to a tray full of dirty child toys, they're all stars of some type). Hey what are those? HODGINS: They were found in this case, probably belonged to the victim. (Angela grimaces) HODGINS: (Gestures to jars) and these are water samples teeming with organisms. I found an inordinately large amount of dead fairy shrimp in the mud beneath the victim. I will not make a clap for Tinkerbell joke. (Pauses) How's about we not discuss child murder and our upcoming nuptials in the same conversation. ANGELA: That's a good idea. (After a mild pause) Hey do you want me to uh, change my name? HODGINS: (Looks skeptical) Do you want me to want you to change your name? ANGELA: (Raises her eyebrows and leans in to kiss him) (Hodgins smiles and nods as she walks off) (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Booth is staring at an x-ray of a head and half the spinal cord) BRENNAN: (In the background) do you even know what you're looking at? BOOTH: (Gestures at the computer screen on which the x-ray is positioned) It's a neck bone, connected to the shoulder bone. BRENNAN: (Grins at him and turns back to the computer screen. She points to a spot just under the cranium on the spinal cord). There's arthritic lipping here, and here, on the posterior dens. BOOTH: Arthritis? BRENNAN: For this to occur she had to look up like this (Looks at ceiling). BOOTH: Maybe she prayed a lot. BRENNAN: Four to six hours a day? What did she want so badly? MAX: Her father? (Max enters Brennan's office as they turn at his voice) MAX: Hey baby. BRENNAN: Dad? MAX: Booth. BOOTH: (Whips out his gun and points it at Max) Put your hand up. BRENNAN: (Incredulous, jumps up and tries to make him put the gun down) Booth! MAX: I was hoping we could get a drink or something before this part. BOOTH: Max Keenan, you're under arrest as an escaped felon. MAX: (Smile fades) Oh, okay. Then I guess that's no on the drink, huh? BOOTH: Bones, grab the cuffs out of my back pocket there. BRENNAN: No BOOTH: What do you mean no? Bones! MAX: (to Brennan) It's okay, baby. BRENNAN: I don't want to handcuff my own father. Plus, remember when he saved your life? MAX: Hey just throw 'em over here I'll do it myself. BOOTH: (To Brennan) now he's telling me what to do. (To Max) Just put your hands on the wall) (Max complies, as Booth handcuffs him) BRENNAN: What? Dad what are you doing here? MAX: I heard you were getting married (Booth who's been frisking him looks quizzically at Brennan) BRENNAN: What? No, Angela's getting married, to Hodgins, not me. MAX: Oh, the bug guy. Oh, that's great. BOOTH: Will you shut up, please. (Glances at Brennan who's glaring at him) Long enough to Mirandize him. MAX: You got the right to remain silent, got it. (To Brennan) We'll talk more later. BOOTH: (Looks at Brennan) Look, I'm sorry Bones, but he killed the deputy director of the FBI, I'm just doing my job. BRENNAN: It's okay. (Looks at her father) He's right. MAX: Kisses, baby. (Booth and Max leave and Angela walks by then looks questioningly at Brennan)ANGELA: Uh, sweetie? Was that your dad? (Brennan nods) ACT ONE (Cut to - FBI - Observation Room. Booth and Caroline are outside discussing Max.) BOOTH: (Frustrated) What do you mean that's not Max Keenan? CAROLINE: You know that's Max Keenan, I know that's Max Keenan. But to the rest of the world that man's a hard working electrician from Coos Bay, Oregon named Art Macgregor. BOOTH: That electrician was a bank robber for fifteen years and murdered two FBI Agents CAROLINE: Only one was still an Agent at the time of his demise. BOOTH: The guy was a deputy director! CAROLINE: And a crooked murdering son-of-a-bitch, not to speak ill of the dead. (Looking at wallet) Drivers license, credit card, tax returns, and this library card was issued eleven years ago. BOOTH: Complete history? CAROLINE: Yes, we'll keep digging but I don't know. BOOTH: I gotta cut that guy loose. CAROLINE: Legally speaking, that man is a law-abiding, tax-paying, fully certified, dues paying member of the international brotherhood of ... (Trails off as a frustrated Booth takes the files from her and leaves the room) CAROLINE: Since 1984. (Cut to - FBI - Interrogation Room) BOOTH: (Throws a folder and wallet down in front of Max as Max lifts his cuffed hands) Tell me something Max, on the job site, what's the most hazardous classification of an electrician? MAX: Class one, division one, you planning on making a career change? (Booth takes the water glass Max has been drinking from. He pulls it towards him with the ends of his handcuffs) MAX: Oh. You checking out my prints? BOOTH: Max you know I like you and I hate to hurt Bones, but it's my job to catch you (pause) and I'm very good at my job. MAX: Well you'd have to be to work with my daughter. (Stands) What do you say? Shake hands with an old con. Or, or is that bad for the FBI image? BOOTH: You abandoned her as a child, you don't think she feels that? Every time you pop in and out of her life? Hmm? MAX: (Stares at Booth for a while then laughs) You're just saying that so I'll hit you. Then you got a reason to lock me up. Twenty years ago that would have worked (Walks away and pats Booth on the back.) (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab. Brennan and Zack are examining an x-ray of a skull and half the spine, with a hole in the lower back of the cranium.)ZACK: Your estimate was correct. This hole is consistent with a 22-caliber slug. I learned slug from Cam; it's a colloquialism for projectile. BRENNAN: Which so far the FBI has been unable to find. (Angela steps in from behind the model of a skeleton in the lab) ANGELA: Okay I have a face, but you're not going to like it. (She leads them to the computer screen and brings up a sketch of an old BRENNAN: That is an old woman. ZACK: I provided you with the tissue markers for a ten-year-old Caucasian female. ANGELA: Well when I actually held the skull and started the tissue markers felt wrong. BRENNAN: Angela with all due respect to your art, facial reconstruction is a science. ANGELA: It's both babe, and this time, art made science her bitch. (Zack makes an odd face) ANGELA: Hey moan all you want, I stand by this. BRENNAN: We should look for other indications that we got the age wrong. ZACK: Because art made science her bitch? BRENNAN: Because the lipping on the vertebrae had to be caused by looking up over several years. ZACK: (Looks at Angela) That's a scientific rational for rechecking. (Angela makes a face at him, then turns to Brennan as she walks away) ANGELA: Hey Brennan, I'd like to ask you a favor, well it's not so much ask a favor as, as, as extend an honor. I mean I hope you see it as an honor, and you don't think of it as some onerous duty, which I don't think you will, but then again I've never done this before and of course- BRENNAN: Angela, just ask. ANGELA: Will you be my maid of honor?(Brennan's face changes and she looks close to tears) ANGELA: At the wedding? (Brennan hugs her) ANGELA: Is that yes? BRENNAN: I'm completely, totally honored. ANGELA: Really? I thought I'd have to tell you what a maid of honor- BRENNAN: I don't even care how awful the bridesmaids' dresses are (hugs her again) I'm so glad you asked me. (Cut to - Brennan's Apartment. Max is talking and we see a picture of him and Russ.) MAX: I have your brother set up in a little auto mechanic shop situation. BRENNAN: You set him up where, Oregon? MAX: It's better that you don't know, he's a in violation of his parole. BRENNAN: Because you made him leave the state. MAX: Your brother is in a slippery slope, and yeah I know, I know, the irony of me being a good influence on him is but it's true, I am, I am. (Brennan laughs) MAX: It's so good to see you smile that's, that's something. BRENNAN: Booth is going to find proof of who you are, and then he's going to arrest you. MAX: Eh, not till later. BRENNAN: (Takes a breath) Did you come here just to tell me that Russ is okay? MAX: No I, actually I have something for you. (He reaches into his jacket pocket) that uh, belonged to your grandmother. (He's holding a silver ring with three twists in the front) BRENNAN: I have a grandmother? MAX: I know your mother and I told you you didn't have grandparents but, (Hands the ring to her) try it on. (Brennan takes it hesitantly, looks at it for a while and then puts it on the table) BRENNAN: I - I have to go to bed, there are some inconsistency's with the remains, which I have to address, first thing in the morning. MAX: Okay BRENNAN: You're welcome, to stay here, if you want. MAX: The couch would be great. BRENNAN: No dad, I made up the guest room, in case you - (she trails off) Goodnight. (Max looks like he wants to say something, but doesn't) (Cut to - FBI - Booth's Office. Caroline brings him the glass he took from Max Keenan earlier.) CAROLINE: His fingerprints don't match: BOOTH: There's nothing to compare them to. CAROLINE: Max Keenan got himself wiped from the system. BOOTH: That's right. CAROLINE: Who is this guy? Some sort of super criminal? BOOTH: Could also have been deputy director Kirby, you know he wanted him dead so he made him invisible first. CAROLINE: Hmm, that would be an ironic twist, seeing as you want to arrest Max for Kirby's murder. (Booth is facing the wall beside the lawyer; he just stares, thinking) CAROLINE: You're not having doubts about catching this guy are you? I mean, he is your partner's father. BOOTH: No. (He shakes his head) Bones gets it. CAROLINE: You hope she does. (She gets up to leave) I'll get DNA samples from the man; you find something to compare them to. (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab. Brennan and Zack are standing over the remains.) ZACK: No wisdom teeth suggest pre-pubescence, the lower plate in the radius? Not fused. BRENNAN: Angela's wrong, the victim is not yet twenty. ZACK: Umm... BRENNAN: What? ZACK: The arthritic lipping on the vertebrae, degeneration on the collarbone, spiking on the superior articular process, and all the major bones in her body show osteolitis and advanced deterioration. (Enter Angela and Hodgins) ANGELA: Meaning Angela was right. ZACK: Meaning you are not wrong, which is not the same as being right. BRENNAN: Progeria she had one of the aging diseases. ANGELA: Anyone wanna hear about the hit my sketch got off the NCIC database? (Brings up a picture on the screen) BRENNAN: Chelsea Cole, age 22, went missing last November, good Angela, really good. (Angela smiles satisfied Zack shakes his head, and he's disappointed he was wrong. Hodgins glances at Angela meaningfully, she nods and leaves) HODGINS: Zack ZACK: I really should have thought of that, a disease that prevents the sufferer from entering puberty, but simultaneously ages her otherwise. HODGINS: I'd like to ask you to be my best man on Saturday. ZACK: Things aren't always either or, sometimes their both. HODGINS: At my wedding. (Zack stares at bones on the table) Saturday. (Zack is shaking his head, still staring at the bones) To Angela. (Zack isn't responding, he starts to get impatient) My best man. ZACK: When do I have to decide? HODGINS: You have to think about it? ZACK: Yes HODGINS: Fine, let me know what you decide. (Cut to - Cole Residence. Booth and Brennan are talking with Chelsea's mother, Cynthia - who is crying.)CYNTHIA: You found her in a shopping cart? BOOTH: Yes CYNTHIA: From Tuft's grocery? BRENNAN: How did you know that? CYNTHIA: Chelsea loved Tuft's, I used to give her a dollar and she'd go down there and buy a candy bar, or some cheep toy. (Brennan walks towards some childish paintings on the wall) CYNTHIA: Everyone knew Chelsea, walking home with one small thing in a big cart to show me. BRENNAN: Did Chelsea draw these? CYNTHIA: Yes. BOOTH: (Stands up to go look) Chelsea was twenty-two-years old, these are the drawings of a young child. CYNTHIA: Chelsea had a, condition. BRENNAN: Werner's Syndrome. CYNTHIA: How did you know? BOOTH: What's that? BRENNAN: It's an aging disease in which mental development can be a factor. (She walks and looks up at a sky light) Your daughter spent a long time looking up. Correct? CYNTHIA: Chelsea was obsessed with the stars. She thought they were signals from heaven, showing people the way home. BOOTH: Mrs. Cole, when Chelsea disappeared, you gave the police a name? CYNTHIA: Joe Mellon, he was a caretaker provided by the city while I was taking classes at a community college. One day I came home from class and her hair smelled like the shampoo I use lemons. (Starts to cry) I always use baby shampoo on Chelsea. BOOTH: Bet that wasn't part of his job, bathing Chelsea. CYNTHIA: Definitely not! I filed a complaint with child services, and they launched an investigation. BRENNAN: Which ended as soon as Chelsea disappeared. CYNTHIA: I guess so. BOOTH: No victim no crime. ACT TWO (Cut to - FBI - Interrogation room. Booth and Brennan are interrogating Joe Mellon) JOE: I absolutely did not molest Chelsea Cole. BOOTH: Why did Child Services let you go? JOE: They didn't let me go, they reassigned me because they know I didn't do anything wrong. BOOTH: What did you not do wrong Joe? JOE: Chelsea Cole had the mental capacity of a six-year-old, she got jam all over her and freaked out from being sticky. So I ran her a bath and sat outside and made her talk to me while she was in the bath. She used her mom's shampoo and it stung her eyes, I went in and helped her rinse it out and then I went back out and let her get dressed, which is what she told her mother, who did not listen. BOOTH: Then why is Cynthia Cole so insistent that you were inappropriate with her daughter? JOE: I, I crossed the line, man. I suggested that Cynthia consider an alternate solution for Chelsea. BOOTH: Like an institution? JOE: The woman was exhausted, she was looking like crap, she was failing all of her college courses, she couldn't hold a job, everything was going downhill. BOOTH: Listen Joe, I want you to look me in the eye, and tell me you never touched that little girl. JOE: I wiped the soap out of her eyes, and I wrapped a towel around her, that's it. (Cut to - Royal Diner. Brennan and Max are seated at the counter. He has a ring in his hand.) MAX: This ring was passed down from mother to oldest daughter for generations, it was a tradition. BRENNAN: You told Russ and me we didn't have any grandparents. MAX: Honey, we were underground, we had new names now, we had to tell you that. BRENNAN: What's the truth? MAX: Your mother's the oldest of three sisters, and if you seek them out, they'll know who you are and, accept you into the family. BRENNAN: What about on your side? MAX: Your mother was the only family I ever knew, and you and Russ. BRENNAN: You abandoned me for fifteen years. MAX: I'm trying to make repairs. BRENNAN: By running away from the FBI? MAX: I have more. A message from your mother, on video tape. BRENNAN: Who-what does it say? MAX: I don't know, it's for you, when you're ready. (Booth enters) BOOTH: Uh, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have a warrant here for DNA, from you, Art Macgregor from Coos Bay, Oregon. (To Brennan) I'm really sorry. (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Platform) HODGINS: Zack... ZACK: There's a recalcification around this hole. It healed. HODGINS: Zack I'm getting married on Saturday, two short day's man, I need to know if you'll stand up for me. (Zack picks up a letter on the table, Hodgins takes it.) HODGINS: I don't need a formal response, a simple yes... (He trails off as he realizes what the letter is). Iraq? You can't go to Iraq. ZACK: The president is asking for me personally. HODGINS: No, the president has a machine to sign for him. He's probably talking to every forensic anthropologist in the country; you can't go to Iraq. No, you stay here and be my best man. ZACK: He says I'm at the forefront of my field, he says my country needs me. HODGINS: Zack, you're not going to Iraq. You going to be my best man or what? ZACK: No. HODGINS: Why? ZACK: Because if I decide to do what the president wants and I get killed in Iraq you won't be able to remember your wedding with happiness. HODGINS: Okay, big assumption there buddy. ZACK: Rationally speaking I'm not good at social ritual, you should ask Booth. HODGINS: Everything isn't rational. ZACK: It should be. I no longer believe this is a bullet hole, I believe this was created by a drill. ACT THREE (Cut to - Cole Residence) CYNTHIA: Chelsea had brain surgery when she was three. BOOTH: They had to drill into her skull? CYNTHIA: Yes to relieve pressure. BRENNAN: (Looking at the paintings on the wall) these are accurate. CYNTHIA: I beg your pardon? BRENNAN: (Pointing to different pictures) These are all constellations, Centaurus, Aquarius, Gemini. CYNTHIA: Well I knew Chelsea loved the stars but I never knew they were actually... They're real? BRENNAN: That one is Delphineas; it was my favorite as a child. My mother and I both loved dolphins, it was something we ... (Sees Booth looking at her) shared. (Booth looks like he feels guilty for arresting her father.) BOOTH: Mrs. Cole, why exactly did your daughter require brain surgery? CYNTHIA: Why did you ask it like that? You think I did something to her? BRENNAN: Head injuries are extremely common, in children who are abused. CYNTHIA: (Gets up) excuse me but it's very important that I take my medication on time. (Comes back) my daughter, when she was three, fell out of bed. She didn't stop crying so I took her to the hospital. She had surgery, that's how they found out she had the aging disease. Did Joe Melon tell you that I physically abused my daughter because I grabbed her arm once? (Booth and Brennan exchange meaningful glances) CYNTHIA: Once? [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Booth's Car. Booth's phone rings.) BOOTH: (Answers phone) Booth. HODGINS (on phone): Hey man will you stand up for me on Saturday? BOOTH: Sure, against who? HODGINS: No, no I mean be my best man? BOOTH: Sure, wow. HODGINS: Yeah I know, big honor. BOOTH: No, no yeah that, but you didn't give me much time to put a bachelor party together. HODGINS: No, no. No Bachelor party. BRENNAN: Is that Hodgins? BOOTH: Yeah, he wants me to be his best man. (To Hodgins) well if there's no Bachelor party what do you want me to do? HODGINS: Stand there, make a toast, hand over the ring, tongue kiss the maid of honor at the reception when people clink glasses. BOOTH: (Grins) Nice. Excellent. Okay. So who's the maid of honor? HODGINS: No idea, but most of Angela's friends are really hot. BRENNAN: Well, I'm the maid of honor. (Booth stares at her) Why? BOOTH: (Recovers) Uh, uh listen do you need me to uh, connect with the bride's father? Put together the toast and speeches, all that? (Hodgins pauses with a nut covered chocolate donut halfway to his mouth, he takes it away and one of the nuts sticks to his lip for a few seconds before falling) BOOTH: Hodgins? You there? HODGINS: Oh Angela's father, I forgot all about him. (Booth hangs up) BRENNAN: She has AIDS. BOOTH: Angela? BRENNAN: Chelsea Cole's mother, HIV or AIDS. BOOTH: What because of all that medicine she took? BRENNAN: I recognized one of them, I'll ask Cam. (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab) HODGINS: In the mud sample taken from beneath the remains I found a high concentration of dead anostraca. ZACK: Also known as fairy shrimp. CAM: Shrimp can live out of the ocean? HODGINS: They aren't actually shrimp they're brachiopods, the difference is- CAM: Moving on. HODGINS: I wanna know if they can be poisoned by feeding on decomposing flesh. (A confused Cam is lead into the lab by Hodgins and Zack. There is a fish tank filled with water and a greenish looking blob floating in the middle)CAM: Oh God, please tell me that's not- ZACK: That's not human, that's Spam. HODGINS: Which has been injected with a number of organic poisons. We'd like to introduce a colony of Artemia Selena. ZACK: Commonly referred to as Sea Chimps. HODGINS: If they die, I'm gonna try running them through the spectrometer to see what poisoned them. CAM: What do you want from me? ZACK: Permission. CAM: Why? HODGINS: Because you said you'd fire us if we did any more experiments without your permission. CAM: Boys, you've got Spam and Sea Chimps, you get anything out of that, I'll buy you each a car. HODGINS: Release the hounds. ZACK: What? HODGINS: (Annoyed) Pour in the Sea Chimps. (Zack pours in the Sea Chimps and they fizzle to the bottom of the tank) ZACK: I found that anti-climactic. HODGINS: Yeah... (Cut to - Royal Diner. Booth and Brennan are sitting at a table.) BRENNAN: Do you like your father? BOOTH: I love my father. BRENNAN: I think I love my father BOOTH: Well that's normal. BRENNAN: But he ran out on me and Russ, he robbed people, he's a murderer, you know. He got my mother killed, how does he expect me to... BOOTH: It's hard to trust someone who's abandoned you, especially a parent. BRENNAN: Am I terrible for not wanting to care about my father? BOOTH: Look Bones, your father is going to do something tomorrow that's going to hurt you. How do you forgive that? BRENNAN: I'm not a bad daughter? Bad person? BOOTH: You're not a bad anything. (Brennan's phone rings) BRENNAN: Hodgins figured out what killed Chelsea Cole. (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab) HODGINS: Rancinectla Lindali, also known as the fairy shrimp, not a true shrimp but a brachiopod. BOOTH: Wanna hurry it up there Hodgins? I gotta tux I need to rent. HODGINS: Right, Zack and I did a brief experiment involving Sea Chimps. BOOTH: Sea Chimps? I love Sea Chimps. BRENNAN: To confirm that they would feed on decomposing human tissue? BOOTH: Great thanks for ruining the whole Sea Chimps thing for me. HODGINS: Those Sea Chimps went after that pork by-product like piranhas after a skinny-dipping missionary. BRENNAN: Did you find anything in the fairy shrimp beneath Chelsea Cole's body? HODGINS: Yeah. They were exposed to lethal amounts of non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors. BOOTH: I feel bad for the sea chimps but- BRENNAN: Booth. BOOTH: Hmm? BRENNAN: Chelsea Cole was poisoned by an overdose of Nevirapine BOOTH: What's that? BRENNAN: AIDS medicine. BOOTH: AIDS medicine? BRENNAN: It was her mother. (Cut to - Cole Residence. Booth puts the "I Love You" pebble on the table in front of Cynthia.) BOOTH: We'll probably be able to trace that back to you. CYNTHIA: I loved my daughter very much. BOOTH: The hell you did. BRENNAN: She got to be too much for you to handle so you killed her. CYNTHIA: You don't understand BRENNAN: I don't think you'll ever find anyone who does. BOOTH: You know, your daughter had the mind of a six-year-old. She loved the stars, she trusted you. BRENNAN (on the phone): We're here. BOOTH: And you killed her. BRENNAN (on the phone): Raltegravir, MK0518, Tenofovir CAM: (Back at the lab) None of those is a trade name for Nevirapine. Wait, MK0518 is still in experimental trials to replace Nevirapine. BRENNAN: (To Booth) She used her old medicine to poison Chelsea. (to Cam) Thanks Cam. BOOTH: Cynthia Cole, you're under arrest for the murder of your daughter Chelsea Cole. CYNTHIA: Could you take down the pictures Chelsea drew, I don't want just anyone to come in and throw them away. BRENNAN: You threw away your own daughter, why would I do you a favor? BOOTH: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. ACT FOUR (Cut to - FBI - Booth's Office. Agent Charlie enters.) AGENT CHARLIE: In 1978, Max Keenan robbed a Piggly Wiggly in Carbondale, Illinois. The clerk conked him on the head with a baseball bat and Keenan stanched the blood with napkins, left them behind. BOOTH: Don't tell me. AGENT CHARLIE: (Leans on Booth's desk) State police have said napkins in evidence (Booth looks at the Agents hands and the Agent removes them from Booth's desk.) AGENT CHARLIE: Agent Booth you wanted me to get this information for you, correct? BOOTH: Good job, Charlie. (Booth leaves and Charlie looks confused.) (Cut to - Recording Studio. Angela's Father is playing the guitar.) HODGINS: Hey, I mean (Makes guitar sounds and Angela's father just stares at him) You get that a lot, right? The whole herr, herr, herr thing? ANGELA'S FATHER: Can I help you? HODGINS: I'm Jack Hodgins ANGELA'S FATHER: You seem okay to me so far. HODGINS: Well I suddenly realized, my best man said speeches at the wedding. You know about the wedding? ANGELA'S FATHER: Oh yes, its no coincidence I'm here. HODGINS: Well it occurred to me you might have a tradition, I mean you're Texan and I mean really Texan. Guitars and Hot rods Texan so I figured I should ask you for your daughter's hand in marriage. I mean as a sign of respect. ANGELA'S FATHER: You're making a huge mistake son. HODGINS: You mean marrying Angela? ANGELA'S FATHER: No, if Angela finds out that a man, you, asked another man, me, for her hand, or any other fine parts, horrible complications will ensue. HODGINS: Didn't think of that. ANGELA'S FATHER: You could get us both killed. HODGINS: Okay, good advice. (Shakes his hand) got anymore? ANGELA'S FATHER: Always play in the key of G- Demolished. HODGINS: I - don't know what that means. ANGELA'S FATHER: Well if you do you do, if you don't you don't, forget it. (Hodgins leaves, but is stopped by Angela's father) ANGELA'S FATHER: Hodgins. I've got guitars and I've got cars, and I've got guns (Hodgins' smile fades). Treat my little girl right and you'll only see the business ends of the cars and guitars. (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab. Cam is matching the DNA samples from Art Macgregor and Max Keenan, they match. Booth looks upset.) (Cut to - Royal Diner. Brennan is sitting alone, her father comes and stands outside the window, she shows him she's wearing the family ring. He shows her a video tape, she looks like she's going to cry.) (Cut to - Parking Lot. Max is walking to his car, Booth walks up to him.) BOOTH: Am I gonna need to use my gun Max? MAX: (Sigh) Got your piece of paper? BOOTH: Max Keenan I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of Deputy Director. MAX: Alright, alright. Fine. You can take me, you know what you're right. I'm not going to abandon her again. BOOTH: You're not going to resist? MAX: It's your lucky day, I guess. BOOTH: Okay great. (Max steps back) MAX: No you know what? I'm wrong, I can't go quietly. It's not my nature. BOOTH: Max, I got a gun. MAX: It's not my nature. You're going to have to shoot me. You understand? BOOTH: Not your nature? MAX: Call it a character flaw (sees Booth taking out his gun) Yeah. Shoot me. Shoot me, but in the leg if you don't mind. (Booth takes off his jacket and gets ready to fist fight with Max. He punches Max in the face.) MAX: Hey, hey that's good kid, you're throwing. (Punches him back, Booth groans and staggers back) What's the matter kid? Got a glass jaw? BOOTH: You know what? You talk too much (Punches him again) MAX: Geez, right in the face? Time! Time! BOOTH: You had enough? (He goes towards him) MAX: Wait, wait I'm old. BOOTH: There's no time-outs during an arrest. (Max punches him again, they exchange punches and finally Booth knocks Max to the ground.) MAX: Okay that's it, that's it I've had enough. BOOTH: Okay (Max punches him in the groin, Booth's face scrunches up) BOOTH: That really hurt (They both lay on the ground in pain) (Cut to: Brennan's Apartment. Brennan is putting the tape her father had given her in a VCR, her mother appears on screen) RUTH KEENAN: Hi Temperance, it's mom. I don't know when or if you'll ever see this, but I hope to put it in your hands myself and see you again, with my own eyes. This is a hard, hard world. Your father and I left you and Russ to save your lives. People would have killed you to get us. That's not what this is about. Today is your sixteenth birthday. I'm so sorry not to be there to tell you all the things a mother should tell her daughter when she turns sixteen and sorry not to give you this (holds up the ring Brennan's father gave her). It's an heirloom. And starting today, it's yours. I don't know how long it will take me to get it to you, but I promise you I will. You're going to hear a lot of things about your parents, especially your father. He is a good man. It was my insistence to leave you kids. Max would have kept us together, fought until the end, I'm not sure he'll ever forgive me for that. So please Temperance, I need you to forgive me and if you can't forgive me, I beg you honey, if you can't forgive me please forgive your father. Remember you were loved in this world, cherished. What I did to you may have been wrong, but I did it out of love, I did it out of love. (Brennan shuts off the T.V) (Cut to - Jail - Visitor's Room. Brennan hands the pictures over to Chelsea's mother) BRENNAN: Chelsea thought stars were signs from heaven, showing how to get home. Your AIDS cocktail wasn't working, you were sick, dying. They put you on an experimental drug and you felt even worse. Your worst nightmare was coming true, Chelsea was going to outlive you. CYNTHIA: No foster parent would take her. BRENNAN: You did what you did, out of mercy. CYNTHIA: We went to the park, I gave, told Chelsea that it was candy. We, um, we sat there looking up at the stars. I didn't know what to do with her, I didn't have any strength left. And then I remembered the water, it was deep, peaceful you know? BRENNAN: And then, like a punishment, the experimental drug started to work. Didn't it? You got better. What you did was wrong, but you did it out of love. (Brennan places the "I LOVE YOU" rock into Cynthia's hand.) (Cut to - Church - Back Room. Brennan comes down the stairs somewhat awkwardly where Booth, Zack, and Cam are all waiting. There's a huge bow on the front of her dress.) BRENNAN: How do I look? BOOTH: Good (Brennan notices that Cam's dress looks a lot better, she tied the bow in the back) BRENNAN: Well how come yours looks so much better?CAM: Come. I took this and yanked - ZACK: (To Booth) have you been to Iraq? BOOTH: That's classified information, you aren't cleared for that. ZACK: Does it hurt to get shot? BOOTH: What? ZACK: I've been blown up, that wasn't as bad as I expected, but I've never been shot. (Booth looks exasperated) CAM: Booth? BOOTH: Yeah? CAM: Better? BOOTH: (Whistles) Wow, you look great. BRENNAN: (Confused) you said I looked good before. BOOTH: (Doesn't know what to say) Who's day is it, huh? It's Angela's. Come on let's go (he grabs her) there you go. (Cut to - Chapel - People are seated in the pews, waiting for the wedding to begin. Booth and Brennan start walking down the aisle, followed by Zack and Cam.) BOOTH: Bones? BRENNAN: Yeah? BOOTH: Listen, I'm, uh, sorry I had to arrest your father BRENNAN: Do we have to talk about that right now? You did what you had to do, I understand. BOOTH: Yup, but- (They separate at the altar and he can't talk to her anymore. The woman who had been playing the harp puts on a more peppy beat as Angela walks in, not quite suited for a wedding) BOOTH: (Whispers) Bones? BRENNAN: (Annoyed) What? BOOTH: He could have gotten away. BRENNAN: What? BOOTH: We go into a fight and your dad could have escaped capture. BRENNAN: So he beat you in a fight? BOOTH: No, no I didn't say that. BRENNAN: What so you beat him but you gave him a chance to escape? BOOTH: (Walking towards her) no I didn't say that. BRENNAN: Well I don't see any other alternative. BOOTH: No he didn't run away because he felt if he abandoned you, he would have lost you forever. Just thought you should know. (Brennan hugs him and Booth smiles) BRENNAN: Thanks Booth ANGELA: Um hi, I'd uh like to get married now. (Brennan and Booth look sheepish and part.) MINISTER SHEILA: Welcome everybody, we have come together to join in matrimony Jack Stanley Hodgins, and Angela Pearly Gates Montenegro. Who gives this woman? ANGELA'S FATHER: I give you this beautiful woman. MINISTER SHEILA: Angela and Jack have invited us here to share something beautiful, two people have invited their friends and family to say, you are the one I love. (An agent from the State Department enters the building with a file of papers) MINISTER SHEILA: You are the one whom for I forsake all others. STATE DEPARTMENT AGENT: Excuse me. Is this the Hodgins/Montenegro nuptials? ANGELA: It's trying to be. STATE DEPARTMENT AGENT: Well I need to speak with you before these proceedings, proceed. CAROLINE: Come on then. Let's get this figured out. HODGINS: We'll uh, be right back. Hodgins, Angela, Caroline and the State Department Agent all exit) ZACK: Booth? BOOTH: Yeah? ZACK: Is there any sense in ducking when someone shoots at you? BOOTH: Your body ducks whether it wants to or not. (After a pause) why? ZACK: (Hands him the letter) you can read this later, then explain it to everyone. BOOTH: Why me?ZACK: You know more about duty and honor than anybody else I know. (Cut to - Church - Vestibule.) HODGINS: Angela is already married? CAROLINE: Angela is totally, unmistakably, legally married. STATE DEPARTMENT AGENT: As Federal employees with a security clearance, your marriage license underwent special scrutiny. Especially since your wedding was so hurried. CAROLINE: You were married in Fiji four years ago. ANGELA: I jumped over a broomstick with a guy. STATE DEPARTMENT AGENT: I'm sorry. (he leaves) ANGELA: Jack, I-I'm sorry, this is my fault. HODGINS: No worries. No worries, we'll just um-we'll just - (sighs) there's just a lot of people in there expecting a wedding. ANGELA: Yeah, I made this huge deal out of getting married and they all, they all- CAROLINE: Run. ANGELA: What? CAROLINE: Run. Flee. Skedaddle. HODGINS: I like it. (Cut to - Chapel. Everyone is wondering what is going on. Booth, Brennan, Zack & Cam are all still up near the altar with Minister Sheila. When they hear the doors open, they all turn to look) HODGINS: Change of plans, go directly to the reception, on us. ANGELA: Thanks for coming (They run out of the Chapel and leave to go search for her husband so that they can get the marriage annulled. Booth and Brennan are now standing directly in front of Minister Sheila - not really knowing what to do.) BRENNAN: (To Booth) what do we do now? (They both turn to look at Minister Sheila as the scene fades to black). END.	Plan: A: The team; Q: Who works on finding how Chelsea Cole died? A: a fan; Q: What was Chelsea Cole's relationship to astronomy? A: Werner syndrome; Q: What was Chelsea Cole suffering from? A: Iraq; Q: Where is Zack asked to serve his country? A: her past; Q: What does Brennan's father try to let her in on? A: 1993; Q: When was the video of Brennan's mother made? A: Booth; Q: Who shares some touching information with Brennan? A: a fist fight; Q: What does Booth and Max get into before Max surrenders to his arrest? A: The investigation; Q: What leads to the victim's mother as the killer? A: her disabled daughter; Q: Who did Chelsea's mother confess to killing? A: a confronting revelation; Q: What does Brennan have about the mother? A: significance; Q: What does Brennan's revelation about the mother hold for her? A: her parents; Q: Who abandoned Brennan as a child? A: the wedding; Q: What do Angela and Hodgins prepare for after the case is solved? A: Caroline Julian; Q: Who informs Angela and Hodgins that Angela is still married to a man from a previous relationship? A: The couple; Q: Who escapes embarrassment? A: embarrassment; Q: What do Angela and Hodgins escape from after learning of Angela's previous relationship? Summary: The team works on finding how Chelsea Cole, a fan of astronomy who suffered from Werner syndrome , died. Meanwhile, Hodgins and Angela prepare for their wedding. Zack is asked to serve his country in Iraq. Brennan's father, Max, tries to let her in on her past and brings her a 1993 video of her mother. Booth and Max get into a fist fight before Max surrenders to his arrest. The investigation leads to the victim's mother as the killer who admits guilt, confessing that she killed her disabled daughter thinking she was dying herself, fearing what would happen to Chelsea if she died. Brennan has a confronting revelation about the mother, acknowledging that she did what she did out of love. This holds significance for Brennan due to her parents abandoning her as a child, realizing they did it out of love. After resolving the case, Angela and Hodgins prepare for the wedding and Booth shares some touching information with Brennan. After a surprising turn of events, Caroline Julian informs the couple that Angela is still married to a man from a previous relationship, which she assumed hadn't been serious. The couple escape embarrassment, leaving Brennan and Booth facing each other awkwardly at the altar.
[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- NIGHT] (Various dissolves of the camera pulling away from the city and into a small town.) [EXT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - NIGHT] (Except for a couple of lights on, the house is dark and in a quiet neighborhood. The sound of crickets chirp over the whistling wind.) (Dissolve to: Camera moves slowly up the front steps toward the front door. There's no sign of movement in the house.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) They came to ... my house. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - FOYER - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) They had a fight. (In the foyer, we see the large puddle of blood and messy footprints on the floor and on the stairs. There are no bodies.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Camera pans over the items on the desk in disarray.) (It moves continuously over to the foyer table filled with framed photos of various smiling family members.) (Camera moves over the photos and across the tossed room to the mantle with more framed photos of various smiling family members.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) They couldn't find what they were looking for. (Camera swings around and zooms over to the dining table with a plate of food on it and other items in disarray.) (Camera lingers on more bloodied prints going from one room to another. The camera turns and goes back to the foyer. It lingers on the pool of blood near an abandoned red sneaker.) (The camera moves up the stairs to the second floor bedroom. We see into the master bedroom. The camera turns and heads over to the little girl's room.) (Inside, we find Nick standing at the foot of a little girl's heart-framed bed. He stares at the unmade bed. The window above it is open, the light breeze moving the wispy curtains.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - FRONT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Sheriff Brackett stands near the front porch as an officer looks around the grounds.) (Behind him, the door opens and Nick exits the house to join him.) Nick: Sheriff? Who, uh ... who called it in? Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Anonymous 911. (Nick nods.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Listen, we haven't had a murder in all of Lincoln County in ten years, let alone a quadruple. Nick: Without the bodies, I can't confirm there was a murder. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: No offense, Mr. Stokes, but did you see the amount of blood in that house? Somebody's dead. Nick: What do you know about the family? Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Jude McBride -- great guy, stay-at-home dad. Nina owns a local coffee shop. Jeremy's a junior in high school, smart kid. Ten-year-old daughter, Cassie. Pip-squeak. Nick: Sounds like all that's missing is the white picket fence, huh? Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Yeah. We don't even know where to start looking. (The sheriff looks out at the group of officers combing through the grounds with their flashlights in the dark.) Nick: Begin at the beginning. WHITE FLASH TO: END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE -- MORNING] (Various dissolves of individual framed photos of a happy couple and smiling children. In the background, we see Nick.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) I loved my family. (Final photo is of Cassie McBride.) (Nick is looking at a particular family photo - Jude McBride has his arm around his wife's shoulders in an easy manner, Jeremy stands next to Cassie making rabbit ears with his fingers on the back of her head. They're all smiling in an easy manner.) (He continues to look around the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ROAD - DAY] (An SUV travels along the long road. Sara takes the exit to her right. She continues driving - over a bridge, through a small town.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - KITCHEN -- MORNING] (Nick is in the kitchen leaning over the counter and looking at the coffee machine.) (Sara walks in carrying two cups - one of coffee, one with tea. She notes the bloody prints on the floor. We hear the coffee machine perking.) (She walks into the kitchen.) Sara: Are we having a Taster's Choice moment? (Nick turns and looks at her.) Sara: Grissom called me from the airport. He's teaching a human remains recovery class at the body farm. He said you needed backup, and I figure you needed coffee, but ... looks like you already took care of it. Nick: Oh, no. No, I didn't do it. Coffeemaker's programmed to go on Monday through Friday. (The timer on the coffee maker reads 6:00.) Sara: So, somebody cleaned up Friday's coffee and reset it to go off today? (She looks around the kitchen and sees the place a mess. All the cupboards are open, the drawers are open and some things are on the floor.) Nick: You'd have to be alive to do that. Sara: Which means whatever happened here happened over the weekend. Nick: Blood pools are dry, so, crime scene's at least 12 hours old. [INT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - FOYER -- MORNING] (Nick leads Sara into the main hall.) Nick: There were at least three major blood events -- Here ... here ... and up the stairs. Without the bodies, we'll have to confirm the source of the blood through DNA comparison. Sara: I'll collect toothbrushes, hairbrushes ... you know, it's possible it wasn't the family that died here. Nick: The sheriff confirmed the McBrides' cars are parked out front, and their cell phones, car keys, wallets are all right there. (Sara turns and looks at the things on the hallway table.) Sara: Can't get far without those. Nick: Mm. (Sara turns and looks around.) Sara: It would also seem to eliminate robbery as a motive. Nick: Yeah. (Warrick and Greg walk into the house. Warrick takes it in.) Warrick: (exhales) What a mess. Greg: If you're not gonna clean it up ... why take the bodies? Warrick: Yeah. Well, I'm gonna start upstairs. (Warrick heads for the stairs.) Greg: I'll take outside. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE -- MORNING] (Greg is on the outside of the house examining the window. He tries to open it, then takes several photos of it.) [INT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE -- MORNING] (Dissolve to: Sara makes her way down the stairs carrying plastic bags with shoes in them. Nick is on the base of the stairs looking through a camera set up on a tripod. He takes several photos of one of the blood pools.) (Dissolve to: Nick marks the shoe prints with colored circle stickers. He places a yellow sticker next to one of the shoe prints.) (Several dissolves of Nick continuing to mark the shoe prints throughout the room.) (Dissolve to: Near the outside doorway, Sara puts a measuring ruler down near a print. She notes it down in her log: shoeprint size 11.5 multiple prints shoeprint size 10.5 ) (Dissolve to: Nick swabs some blood on the stairs. He caps the swab tip and puts it in the box.) (Dissolve to: Sara lifts the shoe print. She looks up and stands up.) Sara: Based on their shoes, dad wore a nine-and-a-half, mom wore a nine. Jeremy wore an eight-and-a-half, and Cassie wore a one. (Nick notes the size of the shoe print he's working on.) Nick: There is that men's nine-and-a-half between blood pool number one and blood pool number two. Sara: And the barefoot print on the stairs looks smaller. Nick: Yeah, they're consistent with the mom, size nine. No matches to Jeremy or Cassie, though. Sara: Let's just assume they were shot. Maybe they were shot first. There's no blood to step in if you're first. (Quick flash of: Cassie opens the door and someone shoots her. End of flash.) Sara: Or mom could have grabbed Cassie up, try to take her away from it all. (Quick flash of: Nina McBride grabs Cassie and runs up the stairs.) Sara: (V.O.) Bullet penetrated both bodies. (Someone fires one bullet and hits them both. Nina falls to her knees. End of flash.) Nick: Could explain why there are only three blood pools. Sara: There are three other sets of shoeprints. One size 12, two size 11. (Nick looks down at the blue-stickered shoe prints on the floor. He also notes the white-stickered shoe prints.) Sara: Two of the sets appear to be going back and forth from the kitchen area to the front door. One set, and only one set, headed upstairs for the bedrooms. (We note the yellow-stickered shoe prints up the stairs.) Nick: I'll go up there and see what I can find. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - SECOND FLOOR -- MASTER BEDROOM -- MORNING] (Warrick opens the bag and takes out a JIMMY BUFFET shirt.) (Nick makes his way cautiously up the stairs.) (Warrick opens the bedside table and finds a gun inside. He takes several photos of the drawer's contents.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE -- MORNING] (Sheriff Brackett's deputies are out in the yard looking around.) (Greg snaps a couple of photos of a tire print in the dirt.) Greg: Sheriff Brackett ... did your deputies drive anything up here with a hitch? Sheriff Dennis Brackett: No. Why? Greg: I got an odd-sized tread here. (Greg stands up and looks around the area. He finds some weed. He picks it up, then puts it back down. He looks around and finds some Bubblicious gum near the front walk. He snaps some photos of it.) [INT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE -- MORNING] (Inside, Nick snaps some photos of bloodstains on the carpet. He walks over to the bed and finds some hair strands. He snaps photos of it.) (He puts it in a bindle.) (Nick leans down under the bed and finds a plate with half-eaten bread on it, a bottle of cough medicine and a shoe.) (He shines his light under the bed and visualizes seeing Cassie McBride huddled underneath, scared.) (He reaches under the bed and takes out the bottle of medicine. He looks at the label.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) I hate the taste of that stuff. (The label reads: Cough Syrup Multi-Symptom Relief Original Flavor Relieves: Headache, Aches, Pains, Runny Nose, Sneezing, Cough, Sore Throat, Nasal Congestion, Fever.) (Nick reaches under the bed and takes out a shoe. Inside the shoe is some green liquid. He smells it, then pours it into a plastic sample container.) (Cut to: Nick looks around Cassie's room. On the shelf, she has a row of Nancy Drew books.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) I like Nancy Drew. She always gets the bad guy. (On the shelf below, he sees a toy bubble gum ball dispenser and other things.) (He looks at the photos pinned to the wall next to the shelf. In one of them, Cassie's in a swimsuit, hair cap and goggles. She's smiling with her coach. He also sees the medal on the wall with a photo of her with her coach.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) I knew all my lines and Hansel's, too. (Also pinned to the wall is a CHILDREN'S THEATRE program book for HANSEL AND GRETEL. Above it is a photo of Cassie dressed as Gretel standing next to Hansel.) (Nick smiles.) (He continues to look at the other photos of Cassie pinned to the wall.) (Cassie giggles.) (There's a photo with Cassie blowing a bubble with her gum.) (Cassie giggles.) (Nick looks around, confused by something. He steps out of the room and into the hallway.) (Cassie giggles.) (Nick walks over to the next room.) (Cassie giggles.) (Nick pushes the door open and walks into Jeremy's room. He finds Warrick standing over a keyboard.) Nick: What is that? (Cassie giggles.) Warrick: If it's labeled correctly, it's, uh, Cassie's laugh. (Nick walks over to the keyboard to see an "F" key labeled "CASSIE'S LAUGH". Warrick presses it and we hear Cassie giggle.) (Nick and Warrick look around the room. Nick looks over by the bed. Warrick finds some composition papers on the desk: "The Influence of Classical Philosophy On Shakespeare" Jeremy McBride 5th Period English Literature Mr. Rothchild (The next paper reads: 'The Relevance of Shakespeare for the 21st Century Student" Mark Hervatin 4th Period English Literature Mr. Rothchild (Warrick sits down at the desk and goes through the stack of papers: "The Definition and Uses of Infrared Light" Mark Horvatin 1st Period Physics Ms. Bakken The next papers show: Jeremy McBride 2nd Period Social Studies Mr. Sauls Jeremy McBride 5th Period English Lit Mr. Rothchild Mark Horvatin 6th Period World Politics Mrs. Olviera Mark Horvatin 4th Period English Literature Mr. Rothchild (Finally on the bottom, he sees a composition tablet with some $100 bills in the pages.) (He opens the composition notebook and notes the list and prices of the papers.) Warrick: Our man Jeremy's a bit of an entrepreneur here. Nick: Oh, yeah? How's that? Warrick: He's trafficking in term papers. Nick: Whatever happened to just flipping burgers, man? [INT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - KITCHEN -- DAY] (Sara is in the kitchen dusting for prints. She finds prints on the counters. She continues dusting.) (She walks over to the bulletin board and sees the calendar with the stars on it. Greg walks into the kitchen.) Sara: I think I figured out when all this happened. Cassie never got to her Saturday morning chores. I was really into gold stars when I was a kid. Greg: As opposed to now? (Greg looks at Sara. Sara scrunches her eyes, then turns and walks away.) (Greg looks at the mail in the mail carrier. The envelope is from the EAST SIDE WATER & POWER COMPANY. He looks through the mail and opens the electric bill.) Greg: Whoa! The McBrides must have a broken meter. Even if they left every light on day and night, it wouldn't add up to $2,000. (Sara clears her throat and rubs her nose.) Greg: Maybe Brass can check it out. Sara: I think this print dust is getting to me. Would you mind finishing the fridge? (Sara passes Greg on her way out.) Greg: Do I get a gold star? Sara: (dryly) Ha-ha-ha. (Sara walks around the corner and sees some blood on the mat in front of the door leading to the cellar. She notes the lock is missing from the door.) (She opens the door and looks inside.) (Sara turns on her flashlight and looks down the stairs leading to the cellar. She heads downstairs. She turns the corner and sees something.) Sara: Greg? I found something. (Greg joins her.) Greg: Is it the bodies? Sara: No. (In the cellar, the McBrides have a pot farm complete with artificial light. Greg walks down.) Greg: Sweet Mary Jane. The emerald city. (Sara walks down the steps and joins him.) Sara: Explains the $2,000 electric bill. And all the footprints throughout the house. Greg: It's a ganja graveyard. Sara: No ... it's motive. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - BASEMENT -- DAY] (Sara snaps photos of the various items in the basement. Warrick comes down the stairs.) Warrick: Whew ... ! Looks like someone shot out the lock upstairs. I found what looked like fragments of two bullets; they may be too m-and-d for a comparison, but I could probably get type and caliber. (We see that Nick and Greg are also in the basement processing. Warrick looks around. He notices the empty lines used for drying the plants.) Warrick: Man. If those suspects got everything on those lines, they made out like fat cats. Greg: Yeah, but they were only interested in the dried stuff. Nick: If this was a territory war, or something like that, wouldn't the dealer want to take the new growth, to try to put these guys out of business? Sara: Maybe one of the customers got greedy. Warrick: Well, we're talking about getting rich, not getting high, you know? And these dry ones go a lot faster than those. The price of an ounce these days is anywhere from $200 to $400. Greg: Don't you guys think it's weird that the McBrides did all this with two kids in the house? Nick: (scoffs) Yeah, if they didn't care before, I bet they do now. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE -- DAY] (One of the sheriff's men carries out a paper bag full of marijuana. Nick is standing at the car, the back hood open as he writes on an evidence box. He puts the box in the container.) (Sara exits the house and walks over to him.) Sara: Well, we took some representative samples of the green plant material. Nick: Okay, Ecklie's sending out a tech. I'll include it with the other evidence. (Sara hands Nick the sample bags.) Sara: Pioche PD's going to hold on to the rest until we can secure it for bulk transport. How's it going with the phone records? Nick: No outgoing calls from the house after 6:00 P.M. Friday night. I scrolled through Jude McBride's recent cell phone calls. No activity all weekend until Sunday night. Several incoming calls, all from the same number. According to Pioche PD dispatch, it's the same number as the anonymous 911 call. So I had the phone company cross-check it. The guy's local: Dr. Malcolm Parker. Sara: I'll go check it out. (Nick nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ROAD - DAY] (Sara drives back into town. She turns into the PIOCHE MEDICAL CLINIC, A Satellite Facility of Pioche Medical Group.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PIOCHE MEDICAL CLINIC - HALLWAY - DAY] (Dr. Malcolm Parker and a patient walk out from the office into the hallway.) Malcolm Parker: Be careful with those stitches, okay? I just put them in a couple days ago. Your mom will kill me if it scars. Patient: Okay. (The patient leaves. Sheriff Brackett and Sara both stand up from their hallway seat.) Malcolm Parker: Sorry about that, guys. You had some questions? Sheriff Dennis Brackett: You placed an anonymous 911 call Sunday night. Said you were outside the McBrides' house and you could see blood in the entryway. Sara: Right before that, you called Jude McBride's cell phone three times. Late night house call ... ? Malcolm Parker: Dennis, do I have to answer that? Sheriff Dennis Brackett: It looks worse if you don't. Malcolm Parker: Well, Jude and I have a standing Sunday night appointment. Sara: For what? (He looks anywhere but at Sara.) Sara: You are aware that it's illegal. Malcolm Parker: Okay, look, I have no idea what went on out there, before I got there. (Quick flashback to: [EXT. MCBRIDE - FRONT PORCH - NIGHT] Malcolm Parker is on the phone outside the closed front door.) Malcolm Parker: (to phone) Hi, Jude, it's 8:00. Where are you guys? (He looks in the window and sees the blood on the foyer floor.) Malcolm Parker: I called 911. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Malcolm Parker: I didn't leave my name, because ... because I didn't want to explain what I was doing there. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: You and Jude are making me look like an idiot. He's selling drugs, and you're buying them. Tell me something, Malcolm. Are you high when you treat my daughter? Malcolm Parker: Dennis, of course not. And Jude was discreet. He rarely sold to anybody in town. He sent most of it out of state. Sara: Dr. Parker, what size shoes do you wear? Malcolm Parker: What size shoe do I wear? A ten. Sara: And where were you Friday night? Malcolm Parker: I was here, doing rounds. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MCBRIDE RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE -- DAY] (A woman exits her car parked in the driveway. Nick is sitting on the front porch drinking his water - his kit open next to him and a writing board on his lap.) (The woman looks around and sees Nick.) Sage: Hello, there. Nick: Hi. Can I help you? Sage: I'm Sage. I'm looking for Nina. Nick: Yeah? So am I. Sage: She left work early Friday to see Jimmy Buffet in Tahoe. But then she never showed up at the shop today. Nick: And what was your name again? Sage: Sage. Nick: Sage. Okay, yeah, maybe you can help me out. Um, the family, what do you know about them? Are they having problems? Marital problems, anything like that? Sage: Are you kidding? Jude and Nina had the marriage we all wanted. Nick: Really? (She looks at Nick and smiles. She leans forward and gently touches his forehead.) Sage: You know, uh, your third eye is so open right now. Are you having visions or hearing voices? Nick: No. (She suddenly crouches down to look at Nick. Sage: I'm really sorry. (Nick smiles.) But you're radiating this crazy feminine energy. Nick: (chuckling) Really. Sage: Mm-hmm. Do you believe in past lives? Nick: No, ma'am. Sage: How come? Nick: Because I'm just trying to make it through this one. Sage: (suddenly very serious) I think you're doing pretty well. (Sage suddenly gets to her feet, turns and heads back to her car. Nick gets up and stops her.) Nick: Hey ... Sage. (She looks back.) Thanks. (Sage heads for her car.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY] (Catherine is on the phone with Nick.) Catherine: Hey, Nick. Well, there's no hits off the fingerprints from the kitchen cabinets. Dozens of unknowns, none of which were in the system -- no work cards, no prior crime. So I expanded the search to other databases, and I did get one hit: a Mark Horvatin, 17 years old, junior ROTC. His print was in the kitchen, but not in blood. Could just be a friend. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PLAYING FIELD - LATE DAY] (Mark Horvatin leaves the field with his friends.) Mark Horvatin: That was nice, dude. That was nice. You got smoked. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Hey, Mark! Mark! (Mark looks up. Sheriff Brackett waves. He and Nick are standing by Mark's car. Mark looks at his friends and excuses himself.) Mark Horvatin: Hey, I'll catch up with you guys later. Friend: Later, man. FRIEND: Later. (Mark walks over to Sheriff Brackett and Nick.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Nice game Saturday. Mark Horvatin: Oh, hey, Dennis. Dennis Brackett: Listen, we should probably go with Sheriff Brackett on this one. Mark Horvatin: Oh, okay, Sheriff. Dennis Brackett: This is Mr. Stokes from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. (Nick waves and steps forward.) Nick: What size shoe do you wear? Mark Horvatin: Twelve. Nick: Can I see the bottom? Mark Horvatin: Should I get my dad? Dennis Brackett: No, we're just talking. (He shows Nick the bottom of his shoes.) Nick: Oh, yeah, they're new, huh? Mark Horvatin: Yeah, I got them this weekend. My old ones were thrashed. (Mark walks over to his car and opens the back door to put his gear inside.) Nick: Huh. You know, when I played ball, I used to stick all my gear in the trunk. Mark Horvatin: Yeah, well, this is just easier. Nick: Parking lot still school property? Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Yep. Nick: Why don't you go ahead and pop the trunk for me? Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Go ahead. (Mark opens the trunk. Inside are the dried marijuana plants.) (Nick reaches inside and opens the bags.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (whispering) Daddy's garden was supposed to be a secret. Someone must have told the secret. (Nick turns and looks at Mark.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - EVENING] (Mark Horvatin is in the interview room. We hear Sheriff Bracket's voice over the speaker.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: (over speaker) This doesn't look good, Mark. Not a lot of places you can get that much marijuana. There's no way it could be a coincidence. Tell me where the bodies are. (In the observation room, Nick and Sara watch the interview.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - GARAGE - EVENING] (Warrick has the plants on the lit table while Greg is looking the car interior over with an ALS.) Greg: I'm not finding any blood in here. Besides, four bodies would never fit inside this car. You know, maybe, the pot was stolen after the fact. Crime of opportunity? Warrick: (scoffs) What are you, his lawyer? Whoever stole the pot ... had a gun and shot the lock off the basement door. (Greg finds a receipt in the back of the car.) Greg: Someone went to the ATM at 10:03 Friday night. Right in the window of the murders. Warrick: Hand that over to Sheriff Brackett. He can run the account number. (Greg looks around the inside of the car. In the back seat floor, he finds a Bubblicious piece of gum. He stops and looks at it.) Greg: I found this exact kind of gum in the driveway at the McBrides'. (Warrick doesn't say anything immediately. He's looking through a microscope and getting very frustrated.) Warrick: (groans) This microscope I got from the high school is a joke. How am I ever going to prove that this is the pot from the house? Where's that evidence we collected? (Greg points. Warrick turns around and gets the bag out from the closet. Greg walks over to him, watching as Warrick empties out the plastic bag.) Warrick: All right, this is the bag from the house. And this is the bag from the car. (He lines up the ends of the bags.) Warrick: The striations line up. These bags are from the same roll. Greg: Nicely done. (Nick walks in.) Nick: Fellas. We have a little problem. Mark's not talking, not even to pass the buck. And his dad, Mark Sr., is a lawyer, and he's challenging our search and seizure, saying that even though we were on school grounds, we lacked probable cause to search personal property. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -LAB -- DAY] (Catherine spreads out the crime scene photos on the trace table in the same pattern as it appeared in the house.) Catherine: (sighs) Blood pool closest to the front door, and the size nine-and-a-half shoe print ... both in Jeremy's blood. (Quick flash of: The shooter cocks the gun and points it at Jeremy. He appears surprised. The shooter fires, shooting Jeremy.) Jude: (o.s.) Jeremy, what's going on? (Jeremy falls down the stairs. Jude runs into the foyer.) Catherine: (V.O.) Jude stepped in Jeremy's blood. (Jude's shoe slips in a pool of blood.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Catherine: Blood pool number two. In the hallway, (Quick flash of: Jude McBride is dead on the floor in a pool of blood.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... between the foyer and the kitchen. (There's a second gunshot. Jude falls to the floor near Jeremy.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Catherine: Nina's footprints, dual contribution, Jeremy and Jude. (Catherine notes, "J & J's blood" on the photo.) (Quick flash of: Jude and Jeremy are on the floor. Nina McBride comes down the stairs.) Nina McBride: Jude? Jeremy? Is everything okay? (She sees Jude on the floor in a pool of blood. She rushes downstairs and sees Jeremy.) Nina McBride: (crying) Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Jeremy! (She kneels down next to Jeremy, her feet slipping in the blood on the floor. She hears a sound behind her.) (From the kitchen, a man walks out. Nina sees him and runs up the stairs. Mark picks up the gun and points it at her.) Catherine: (V.O.) Blood pool number three ... (He fires and hits her in the back. She falls on the stairs.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... Nina's blood. (End of flash. Resume to present.) (Catherine makes the notation on the photos. She turns the cassette recorder off and looks over the DNA results.) (She picks up the phone and calls Nick.) Catherine: (to phone) Yeah, Nick, I got the DNA results back. Blood pools were confirmed for mom, dad and Jeremy. None of the blood was Cassie's, so ... INTERCUT WITH: [EXT. PIOCHE - SIDEWALK - DAY] Catherine: (from phone) ... either her death was a bloodless crime ... Nick: ... or they took her alive. Thanks, Catherine. (Nick hangs up and heads over to the park table where Warrick, Sara and Greg are sitting, eating and discussing the case.) Sara: How did Mark know where the pot was, if McBride was as discreet as Dr. Parker claims? (Nick returns to the table.) Nick: DNA confirmed to everyone but Cassie. Sara: Interesting. Nick: Mm-hmm. (He sits down.) Warrick: Mark knew the pot was there because of Jeremy. Come on, I'm sure Jeremy wasn't voted the most popular boy in school. He's done everyone's term paper. He's a nerd. (Quick flash of: Jeremy gets his books from his locker. He talks with Mark Horvatin.) Jeremy: So you guys want to come over and hang out? I could sell you some pot. Mark Horvatin: Now, where are you gonna score fresh herb? Jeremy: My parents are going out of town. My dad has pounds of it. (End of flash. Resume to present.) Greg: Yeah, so how does that end up a quadruple murder? Sara: One of them was stupid enough to bring a gun. Warrick: I was talking to Tina the other night. She said something to make me think. Greg: (coughs) Yoko Ono. (coughs) (Nick laughs.) Warrick: Tina's dad is a doctor of anthropology, so, one day, when she was a little girl, she asked her dad where on her body her anthropology was. You know, he's a doctor. Mark's dad's a lawyer. (Sheriff Brackett pulls up along the curb nearby and gets out of his car. He makes his way toward them.) Warrick: Maybe Mark was thinking habeas corpus -- "body of the crime"? Sara: "Body of the crime" is content of the case, not an actual body. Warrick: Yeah, but a kid could easily misinterpret. Maybe he's thinking, "no body, no crime, no crime, no punishment." Sara: Does Yoko Ono want a job? (They chuckle.) (Sheriff Brackett puts a basket of muffins on the picnic table.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Morning. Voice: Morning. Sara: Hello. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: My wife made muffins. Sara: Thank you. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: You're welcome. We got a lead on the ATM. The account belongs to Jim Locke. He's got a son named Peter, the same age as Mark. We pulled some surveillance footage. It's a little grainy, can't see much. (He gives the video tape to Warrick.) Warrick: I'll give it over to Archie and see if he can clean it up. Thanks. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: All right. I'll be in the car waiting when you guys are ready. Nick: All right, thank you. (The sheriff steps out of camera frame.) Greg: You feeling a little homesick there? Warrick: You want to draw straws? Greg: No. Warrick: Call me if you need me. Nick: All right. (Warrick stands and leaves.) Sara: All right, let's head over to Locke's house, and see what we can find. (Greg and Sara gather their things. Nick stays where he is.) Sara: You coming? Nick: No ... no, you go ahead, I'll catch up. Sara: You think she's alive. Nick: (nods) You don't? (Sara shakes her head.) None of her blood was found at the house. Sara: I think she was drugged, and ... she was lucky if all they did after that was kill her. Nick: I don't think she was drugged. She's a smart little girl. She hid that cough medicine in her shoe; that's like hiding green beans in your napkin, you know? Sara: I hope you're right. But everything in our experience tells us they're dead, all four of them. Nick: Doesn't mean we just give up. Sara: No one's giving up. It's just that ... you're acting like you're going to rescue a person, not recover a body. And on this job ... that's just not usually the case. Nick: (shrugs) I was rescued. Sara: It was not your day to die. When it's your day, it's your day, you know? Nick: I don't think it was Cassie's day. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DESERT / COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. LOCKE RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE -- DAY] (Greg and Sara are looking at the boat parked in the driveway.) Greg: That looks like the plant material I found in the McBrides' driveway. Sara: And this looks like the same wheelbase as the tread you found. (Sheriff Brackett talks with Jill Locke, Peter's mother.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: We found something in Mark's car that we think might be Peter's. Is that your account number? (He shows her the receipt: UNION INTERSTATE BANK Thank you for visiting a Union Interstate Bank ATM 10/14/05 0217PM SGI090 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX4302 PIOCHE, NV WITHDRAWAL FROM CHECKING $100.00 ) Jill Locke: Yes. Sara: Does Peter have access to it? Jill Locke: Sure. He has a limit, but he's never gone over it. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Mrs. Locke, when was the last time you took the boat out? Jill Locke: Friday night. Peter and some of his friends took it out for one last hurrah before it gets too cold. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Do you know which friends? Jill Locke: I was already in bed. Sorry. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Do you mind if the CSIs take a look at it? Jill Locke: Sure. Have the boys been drinking beer on the boat again? [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PARK -- DAY] (Nick sits at the park table and looks at a photo of Cassie. In the background, we hear the sounds of kids playing.) (In front of him, Nick has the file folder open with several photos out on the table.) (Out in front of him, four children play ball with a dog. They bounce the ball between them and laugh as they watch the dog jump for the ball. The children laugh as the dog barks. They continue to play. Nick smiles.) (He picks up twp photos - one of Cassie blowing a bubble with her bubble gum and the other of Cassie dressed as Gretel and standing next to Hansel.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) Everyone told me I was the best Gretel ever. (Nick looks up and watches the children play, bouncing the large rubber ball between them. One of the girls lifts the ball to throw it. Nick stops and looks at the photo of Cassie blowing a bubble with her bubble gum.) (In front of Nick on the table is the photo of a Bubbilicious bubble gum found outside the house.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LOCKE RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE -- DAY] (Greg looks at the frayed rope.) Greg: My dad used to take me sailing when I was a kid. Do you know what the inboard end of an anchor rope is called? "The bitter end." (Greg and Sara are both on the boat, looking around on deck. Sara opens the compartment and takes out a roll of trash bags.) Sara: This explains why we're not finding any blood. (Sara climbs out of the boat and puts the roll of trash bags down on a paper bag. Her phone rings; she answers it.) Sara: (to phone) Hey! Nick: (from phone) Hey! INTERCUT WITH: (Nick is walking back to his car.) Nick: (to phone) Sara, did you find any gum on that boat? Any gum at all -- wrapped, unwrapped-- anywhere? Sara: Yeah ... how did you know that? (Sara turns around and walks to the end of the evidence line where the gum is in a plastic bag.) (Nick gets in his car.) Nick: I think Cassie was on that boat -- alive. I think she was leaving us a trail ... of gum, "gum drops." (Sara picks up the plastic bag.) In the driveway, in the car, on the boat. It's like Hansel and Gretel. Half the pictures I've seen her in, she's chewing gum. Sara: Nick, that's a bit of a stretch. A lot of people chew gum. Nick: You tell Sheriff Brackett I'll meet you at the station. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE STATION - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (Sheriff Dennis Brackett interviews Peter Locke.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Peter, we know you were in Mark's car. We found your ATM receipt. We also know you guys took the boat out Friday night. (Quick flash of: Photos of Cassie in her swimsuit with her coach, Peter Locke. End of flashes.) (In the observation room, Nick and Sara listen to the interview.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: We know that there were three people involved. Who was the third? (Peter doesn't say anything.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Pete, we found your print on a cough syrup bottle, underneath Cassie McBride's bed. (Quick flash of: Cassie scared and hiding under the bed. The covers lift and Peter looks under the bed. End of flash.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Your buddy Mark's not talking. He's gonna pay for that. You be smarter. You do the right thing. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB] (In the lab, Archie is working on the security tape from the ATM machine. He grids a specific portion of several video frames and extracts the image in pieces.) (He works quietly and efficiently. He goes frame by frame, meticulously removing the pieces of the image in the back seat of the car.) (Once he has the pieces, Archie works on putting the pieces together to get a single image. The pieces move, shift and turn on the screen.) (Finally, the pieces stop and meld to form one picture: Mark Horvatin holding Cassie in the back seat, her eyes closed and sucking her thumb.) (Archie looks at the image.) Archie Johnson: Dead bodies don't suck their thumbs. (He sends the image to Nick.) CUT BACK TO: [INT. POLICE STATION - OBSERVATION ROOM /INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (In the observation room, Nick's PDA beeps. He checks it as the image comes in: INCOMING FILE RE: ATM FOOTAGE FROM: A_JOHNSON(a)LVPD.COM TO: N_STOKES(a)LVPD.COM (The image appears. Nick looks at it. He looks at Peter Locke in the interview room. His face hardens.) [INT. POLICE STATION - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (Nick exits the observation room and bursts into the interview room, seething angry. He walks up to Peter and grabs his wrist showing Peter's injury.) Nick: How'd you hurt your hand? (Nick grabs Peter's hair and pulls his head back to look at him.) Nick: What's the matter? She fight back? (Sara follows Nick into the room.) Nick: (to Peter) You tried to drug her, but guess what? She was too smart for you. You coached the little girls' swim team, 'cause you liked to watch 'em in their bathing suits, is that it? You're gonna answer me right now! (Nick grabs Peter by his shirt, pulls him to his feet and slams his back up against the wall.) Nick: (shouts) No more screwing around! Where is she?! (Peter doesn't say anything. Sara and the sheriff watch.) Nick: Where is she? (Peter starts crying.) Nick: Where is she? [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PIER -- DAY] (Officers are around the pier. Sara stands on the pier talking with an officer. Nick rushes up to her.) Nick: Okay, my guess is the guys stopped at the ATM to get cash for gas. That's cash only, and Eddie over there says he filled the tank to the top Friday night. (He points to the man filling up the boat with gas. Sara looks and nods. Her mind is on another matter.) Sara: Can I talk to you for a minute? Nick: Sure, what's up? Sara: I-I think I need to talk about what happened at the station. Nick: Oh, yeah. Sara: I'm slightly concerned about its effect on the case, but more than that, I'm concerned about the case's effect on you, Nick, and I'm absolutely sure that, six months ago, you wouldn't have lost it like that. Nick: I know, I'm sorry. I apologize for that. Sara: How much gas was left? Nick: Three-quarters of a tank. Took an eighth to get out there, an eighth to get back. (He pulls out a map.) And according to the gas mileage, on the Lockes' boat, that would have been about three miles out from this launch point right here. (He points and motions for Sara to follow him.) Nick: Come on. (Sara takes a step to follow him. She stops and checks under her shoe and removes a piece of Bubblicious gum.) Sara: Nick? Nick: Yeah? (She shows him Cassie's gum. Nick takes a breath and looks at his map again.) TIME CUT TO: [EXT. LAKE - DAY - 45 MINUTES LATER] (The patrol boat is out on the lake.) Patrol: (to Sara) This is the three-mile mark. (Sara nods. The boat's engine is cut. Nick opens the kit next to him and takes out the underwater remote camera. They put it in the water and wait.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) I used to love going to the lake, but not anymore. [SCENE_BREAK] (They gather around the monitor as the underwater remote camera moves under the water.) (After a while, they find something.) Patrol: There's something there. (cc) CASSIE MCBRIDE: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) They killed my whole family. (On the monitor, they find Jeremy, Nina and Jude dead, their heads sticking out of the plastic trash bags wrapped around them.) (The remote continues past Jude, but they find nothing, but the weights tied to the body.) [SCENE_BREAK] (The diver opens the body bags. Sara snaps several photos of Jude, Nina and Jeremy.) Sara: Where's the fourth? Diver: We only found three. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Robbins goes over the findings with Warrick.) Warrick: COD? Robbins: Gunshot wound to the chest. (He picks up Jude's hand.) Though it appears to have gone through his hand first. (Close-up: The bullet hole in Jude's hand.) Warrick: Dad wrestled with the gun, huh? (Quick flash of: Jude wrestles for the gun. The gun goes off. End of flash.) Warrick: Anything else? (Robbins points to Jeremy's body on the second exam table.) Robbins: Contact wound on the boy. (Warrick turns and looks at the body.) Shot up-close and personal. (Standing behind Robbins, David is writing on a clipboard.) David Phillips: Mom was shot twice in the back. Not up-close. (Robbins picks up a metal dish with the bullet inside and hands it to Warrick.) Robbins: Rinsed and ready for you. (Warrick picks up the bullet and looks at it.) Warrick: ..22 ... probably from a revolver. (He puts the bullet back in the metal dish.) Six shots. Four in the bodies, two in the lock. Well, that would explain why we didn't find Cassie's blood in the house. They ran out of bullets. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Warrick is walking through the hallway; he's on the phone with Sara.) Warrick: Sara, the bullets pulled from the bodies were from a .22-caliber revolver. Ibis bounced back a hit. They were entered into Ibis from the Department of Wildlife, for shooting a deer with a small caliber handgun. Firearm was returned to the owner -- a Chris Daniels from Pioche, Nevada. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DANIELS RESIDENCE - BACK -- DAY] (Chris Daniels is grilling steaks on the barbeque. The steaks sizzle as he prods them with the fork. The sports announcer is on the radio in the background.) (Sheriff Dennis Brackett and Sara walk alongside the house.) Chris Daniels: Hey, Dennis, what's up? Hey, just in time for steaks. Sheriff Dennis Brackett: Mr. Daniels, do you, uh ... do you own a .22 revolver? Chris Daniels: You know the answer to that. You cited it and fined me two hunting seasons ago. Sara: Sir, I'm Sara Sidle from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. It's evidence in a homicide investigation. I'm going to need it. Luke Daniels: (o.s. from the house) Dad, how long on the steaks? (The back door opens and Luke stops in the doorway. He sees Sheriff Brackett and Sara.) Sheriff Dennis Brackett: We're going to need to speak to Luke. Chris Daniels: What did you do with my gun? (Luke doesn't say anything.) If you did anything to jeopardize that football scholarship of yours, you're done. (Chris turns to look at Luke. Luke glances down at the cooking fork in his dad's grip. Sara also notes Mr. Daniels tightening his hold on the fork as he glares at his son.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DANIELS RESIDENCE - FRONT PORCH -- DAY] (Sara exits the front door onto the porch. Sheriff Bracket escorts Luke out of the house.) (From his car, Nick watches them head for the officer's car. Chris Daniels remains behind on the porch.) (Sheriff Brackett helps Luke Daniels into the back of his squad car. Luke has his wrists handcuffed behind him.) Brackett: Duck your head. (Chris Daniels turns and heads back inside.) (Sara carries the evidence bags to Nick. She shows him the large hunting knife.) Sara: Found this in his pocket when I patted him down. Tested positive for blood. (She shows Nick the shoes.) Sara: As did these. (Luke is in the back seat of the police car. He turns and levels a cold stare at Sara talking to Nick and showing him the evidence bag.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE STATION - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Luke Daniels sits in the hallway under the watchful eye of an officer. Sara exits the room and sits in the seat next to him.) Sara: You just wanted to intimidate Jeremy, right? Scare him a little? But Mr. McBride was still home and he didn't scare so easily. (Quick flashback to: [MCBRIDE HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT] Jeremy meets with Mark Horvatin, Luke Daniels and Peter Locke. Jeremy is trying to get the guys to leave.) Jeremy McBride: You guys have to go. My parents are still home. Luke Daniels: Dude, I thought you said there were pounds of pot. (Jeremy pushes them toward the door, but they don't go.) Jeremy McBride: You guys got to get out, okay? Please, just get out of here, all right? Peter Locke: Just listen to him, man. Do what he said. (Luke takes out the gun and points it at Jeremy.) Jude McBride: Jeremy! Jeremy, what's going on? Voice: What the heck? Jude McBride: Jeremy, what's going on? (Jude steps out from the kitchen.) (The gun fires and hits Jeremy in the chest. Jeremy falls to the floor.) (Jude grabs the gun. Luke fires and Jude falls to the ground.) Peter Locke: What the hell did you just do? (End of flash.) Sara: Mrs. McBride came downstairs, so you had to shoot her, too. (Quick flash to: Luke fires and hits Nina McBride in the back. She falls on the stairs. End of flash.) Sara: Peter went upstairs to deal with Cassie ... (Quick flash to: In Cassie's room, she hides under the bed. The bed covers lift and Peter finds her. End of flash.) Sara: ... while you and Mark bagged the pot and wrapped the bodies in garbage bags. But ... Peter couldn't do it. He couldn't kill Cassie ... so he tried to drug her. You guys got in Mark's car, you went to the ATM, you got cash, you picked up Peter's boat, you went back to the McBrides' and you loaded the bodies onto the boat. (Quick flash to: On the boat, the boys wrap the bodies in the trash bags and tie them together.) Sara: (V.O.) You were out of bullets, way out on the lake. One small, loose end to tie up. (Peter gently brushes the hair from Cassie's face. Her eyes are closed and she's leaning against the side of the boat. He looks back at Luke.) Luke Daniels: Bring her over here. Peter Locke: No! Luke Daniels: She can identify us! There's no way she's staying alive. (Peter stands up and punches Luke.) Peter Locke: I said she was a strong swimmer. I didn't say we could throw a drugged ten-year-old into the lake. (Luke opens his knife and pushes Peter aside. He heads over toward Cassie.) (He kneels down and puts the knife to Cassie's neck.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: Did it make you feel like a man? To kill a little girl? [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAKE -- NIGHT] (Nick and the Patrol are out on the boat searching the waters for Cassie's body. They reach the edge of some rocks and trees. They shine their flashlights, looking for any sign of Cassie.) (They follow the line where the water meets the land. Nick sees something partially hidden in the grass. He doesn't take his flashlight off the object.) Nick: Stop the boat. Stop the boat. Let me out. (Nick takes his cap off and tosses it aside.) Nick: Let me out. (Nick jumps in the water and rushes over to the shore. On the ground, he finds Cassie. He checks for a pulse. We see that her face is white and dirty, her eyes closed.) (Nick checks her hand and sees the rest of her Bubblicious gum in her grip.) (Nick looks back at the boat and around. He puts a hand on Cassie's head.) [SCENE_BREAK] [VARIOUS FLASHES OF: PHOTOS OF CASSIE] (Cassie is on the ground, her eyes are closed and the knife cut evident on the left side of her neck.) (Cassie, young and healthy, smiling as she blows a bubble with her gum for the camera.) (The McBride family photo.) Cue Sound: (PRE-LAP) RESPIRATOR PUMP (With every fade out/in, we hear a heartbeat.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - CASSIE'S ROOM] (Cassie is in the hospital bed, sleeping.) FADE OUT/IN. (Cassie's eyes are open.) FADE OUT/IN. (Cassie's awake and coloring. She looks up when she hears someone enter the room. In the background, we hear the heart monitor beeping.) (Nick walks up to Cassie's bed. She stops coloring.) Nick: Hi. (He puts his things down on the bedside table. Cassie gives Nick the card she's been working on. The cover has a picture of a house and a lake. It reads: Thanks for finding me! (He opens the card: FROM: CASSIE TO: GOOD GUYS ABOUT: BAD GUYS (Nick is touched. He smiles.) Nick: You're welcome, sweetie. (He puts a hand on her head. Cassie writes in her notebook: WHERE IS MY FAMILY?!) (She looks at Nick.) Nick: They're in Vegas. (Cassie writes: I'M TEN YEARS OLD DON'T BABY ME !!! (She underlines the words several times.) Nick: Their bodies are in the coroner's office, honey. (Cassie puts her notebook aside.) Nick: Hey, Cassie ... I know when bad things happen, it's hard to remember. But if I give you some details, do you think you could tell me the story of what happened to your family? Cassie McBride: (hoarse whisper) Okay. Nick: Okay. We'll go slow, okay? (Nick sits down next to the bed.) Nick: And we'll just begin at the beginning, okay? (Nick puts a hand on her arm. She struggles for a while, then starts.) Cassie McBride: (hoarse whisper) They came to ... my house. [SCENE_BREAK] (Out in the hallway and through the glass in the door to Cassie's room, we see her in bed. Camera is pulling back.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) They had a fight. (A nurse walks past.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Camera is pulling back down the hallway. More people walk across the hallway, in and out of camera frame.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) They couldn't find what they were looking for. (She takes a deep, shuddering breath and exhales.) Cassie McBride: (V.O.) (hoarse whisper) I loved my family.	Plan: A: The CSIs; Q: Who is called to a house in which the family of four has gone missing? A: the floor; Q: What is covered in blood in the house? A: Murder; Q: What is immediately suspected? A: any bodies; Q: What is missing from the scene of the crime? Summary: The CSIs are called to a house in which the inhabitants, a family of four, have gone missing, and large pools of blood cover parts of the floor. Murder is immediately suspected, but without any bodies, it is difficult for the team to ascertain what happened.
(Seattle scenes) MVO: As surgeons we live in a world of worst-case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn't happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs ... (Cristina is sitting on her bed playing with her ring. George and Callie are in the elevator. Izzie and Bailey are outside of SGH looking at the sign that says Denny Duquette memorial clinic) MVO: ...and suddenly best-case scenarios seem possible. Izzie: Eight days, eight million dollars Bailey: And we are open for business. MVO: And every now and then...something amazing happens. (Ellis is at the nursing home, Meredith is watching her.) Mrs. Henry: She woke up this morning completely aware. She's her old self. It happens. Medically we don't know why. It's just a random gift. Meredith: So she's lucid? She remembers? Mrs. Henry: Pretty much everything except the last five years. And of course she doesn't realize she has Alzheimer's. We thought she should hear it from you. Meredith: So, she'll know me? I'm gonna walk in there and she'll know who I am? Mrs. Henry: She's been asking for you. MVO: And against our better judgment, we start to have hope. (Burke walks up to Richard at the nurse's station) Burke: Hey, Chief. I need a signature. I'd like to use the helicopter to transport a patient from Denver. (Derek walks up) Derek: Good morning, Chief. I found a way to fund a stereo tactic robot. I want to make sure you're on board before I... Richard: It's a little early in the morning for you two to be chasing me down. Burke: I'm gonna be doing a bloodless pulmonary valve translocation on this patient. Derek: This machine is an excellent source of revenue for the hospital (Mark and Addison are standing nearby) Mark: Aren't you gonna get in there? You wanna be Chief you gotta fight with the big boys. Addison: Oh, I intend to fight like a girl. I'll let them kill each other and then I'll be the only one left standing. Mark: And then there's me. There you go underestimating me again. Addison: Oh, it's not that I underestimate you, it's just that I don't think about you. At all! Mark: Well, you should. (He walks over to where Burke, Derek and Richard are standing) I was, uh, heading down to the clinic. It's opening today and I thought it might be nice to show Dr. Bailey a little support. Richard: Very thoughtful, Dr. Sloan. Think I'll join you. Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me. Derek: Certainly. (To Mark) Nicely done. Mark: Mm-hmm. (Ellis room at the nursing home) Ellis: Meredith! What is going on? When did you get back from Europe? Meredith: I went to Europe for 2 months but that was... Ellis: I've been sitting here, thinking about the fight we had. The things I said...I...I...I said some terrible things. Meredith: It's fine. Ellis: No! It's not. After you left I was upset. Did I have a breakdown? I must have had a nervous breakdown. I'm in a...is this a hospital? Because I...I can't remember anything for the past two months, Meredith. The last thing I remember is the fight we had. And...and listen, if you don't wanna go to medical school that is fine. It is your life, just...just take me home. Meredith: I went to medical school. Ellis: I wanna go home, Meredith. I need to go home. Meredith: You are home. I went to Europe, five years ago. You got sick. You have Alzheimer's. This is your home. You live here now. (Ellis breaks down) Ellis: No! No! Meredith: Mom. Ellis: No! (Ellis looks sick and starts to fall over) Meredith: Mom? Mom? Mom! (Meredith catches her) Meredith: Some body call 911. (Seattle scenes) (Burke walks into the ambulance bay where Ellis is just being unloaded) Meredith: She had sub-sternal chest pains... Ellis: ...chest pains and sycopy. My pace was in the 200's but that rate has resolved on it's own. (Burke helps Meredith out of the ambulance) Meredith: She's completely lucid. Burke: She's what... Meredith: She's aware. She's herself again. (They enter the hospital) Ellis: My god, is this... are we in Seattle Grace? Meredith: Yes mom, this is where I'm doing my residency. Burke: Your daughter is one of our finest interns. Following in your very big footsteps. Ellis: Do you know a Richard Webber? Is he still a doctor here? Burke: What the Chief? Ellis: Richard Webber's the Chief? Of surgery? (The clinic) Bailey: Hey, welcome to the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic. Barring any surgical emergencies you will be working here today. (The room is empty) Cristina: Working on what? Bailey: Right now, Olivia will be familiarizing you with the protocol for the flu vaccine. (Alex is looking at something) Izzie: Oh! No, no, no. Don't...don't touch that. That was...79 dollars. Cristina: Oh, my God. I have got to get out of here. Burke has a bloodless pulmonary valve transplant patient flying in from Denver tomorrow. I should be preparing. Alex: You don't get to scrub in on that valve trans-location. Cristina: How do you know? Alex: Because I am. Cristina: He picked you? Olivia: You guys ready? Izzie: (To Bailey) Where is everybody? Bailey: Uh, Grey will be late. O'Malley should be back from vacation. Izzie: No, no, no. The patients, the underserved, uninsured population that we're supposed to be helping. Bailey: The underserved, uninsured will come. You'll see. Just watch the door. They will come through it. Izzie: I can't wait...for the first patient. It's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be amazing what Denny's money can do. Right? Bailey: Just watch the door, Stevens. (Izzie stares at the door. It opens and Mark and Richard enter) Mark: Dr. Bailey, congratulations on the opening of the clinic. Richard: It is open, isn't it? (They both look at Izzie) Richard: Is Stevens all right? Bailey: She watching the door, sir. Richard: Ok, then. Izzie: Someone's coming. (George and Callie enter) Izzie: Damn it! Bailey: O'Malley, welcome back. You're late. Richard: Is O'Malley all right? George: (Proudly) We got married in Vegas! (Everyone stops what they are doing and looks at Callie and George) George: We're married. Alex: (Laughing) Dude, she's Callie O'Malley. (Izzie is talking to George off to the side) Izzie: It's fast, you know? It seems really very fast. Are you...are you even happy? Callie: We're incredibly happy. Izzie: Oh yay! Well great! Yay! (George and Callie kiss) George: Show her the ring. Callie: Oh. Izzie: Oh! That's so great. Tiny diamonds are great because you know no one will ever try to steal it. (They both look at Izzie and everyone in the room has looks of disbelief on their faces.) Bailey: Ok, that's it. Yang, Burke needs you in Cardio. O'Malley the chief has a surgical patient coming into the pit. Stevens, Karev, go find me some patients. I don't care where you get them just get them. Bailey: Congratulations. Callie: Thank you. George: Thanks. (Bailey walks away) Callie: Ok, we've been out of our Vegas hotel room bubble for six hours and I don't like it. George: It's gonna be fine. We're married. (They kiss) Callie: We're married. (They kiss again) Callie: All right (George leaves and Bailey and Olivia just look at Callie) (George is walking through the hall with Richard) George: So, chief. We're a couple of married men. Richard: Uh, Adele and I are...getting a divorce. George: Uh...um...I didn't... Richard: That's life, O'Malley. That's life. (They enter a patients room) Now, this patient. I removed a large tumor from her colon eight months ago. Since then she's been under going chemo and radiation. We thought she had it beat. (A man enters) Vincent: Excuse me, are you the doctors for Marina Wagner? Richard: Yes, you brought her in? Vincent: I woke up this morning she was barely breathing. You think this could be food poisoning? Cause we had sushi yesterday but I feel fine. Richard: Could be complications from the radiation. Vincent: What do you mean radiation? Richard: From her cancer treatment. Vincent: She doesn't have cancer. I'm her boyfriend, I'd know. (Richard looks out the window and sees Ellis being wheeled by) Richard: O'Malley get a CBC, a Chem-19 and a triple contrast abdominal CT. Excuse me. George: Yes, sir. (Richard walks into the hall) Richard: What? Is she all right? Meredith: She's... Ellis: Richard Webber. My god you've aged. Richard: Ellis? Ellis: I was having arrhythmias, they wanted to do tests and...I hear you're the chief of surgery now. That's wonderful. Richard: Yes, um...but I'm stepping down soon. Ellis: Stepping down? Well, I can only assume that was Adele's idea. Meredith... Meredith: I'll be right there, Mom. Go ahead. (Ellis is wheeled away) She's lucid. She woke up this morning with her memory back. They say it's temporary. Richard: My God! Well, obviously, don't worry about work today. I mean, you need to be with her. I mean, this time...it's a gift. Meredith: It's a gift. Right. (Meredith enters the elevator where her mom is waiting) (Burke is talking with Cristina at the nurse's station) Burke: Meredith's mother had some runs of SVT. I'm ordering an Echo. And...she's lucid. Cristina: What? Burke: It happens but it won't last. Cristina: Is Meredith ok? Burke: Seems fine but...her mother's gonna need the best care we have to offer and you Dr. Yang are the best. (She smiles) You're still not wearing the ring. I would like an answer. It's been over a week. Cristina: I told you, it's under advisement. Burke: Oh, do you not like the ring? Cristina: It's a ring. It's a three-carat, diamond cut, platinum. It's...it's the ring. Burke: Then what? Cristina: Are you using the surgery tomorrow to pressure me into giving you an answer? Is that why I'm not scrubbing in? Burke: I need to give the other interns a chance. Cristina: Why? Burke: The Echo please, Dr. Yang. (Alex and Izzie sit down next to a guy in the waiting room) Izzie: Hey. You been waiting long? Man: Almost an hour? Izzie: Mmm. Man: Are you my doctor? Izzie: I can be. We have a clinic right outside those doors. No wait. Alex: What's wrong with you? Man: It hurts when I pee. Alex and Izzie: Oh! Alex: We can help with that. Izzie: Yeah, it's easy. It's nothing. We could have you outta here in less than an hour. Man: Are you hitting on me. Izzie: We need patients. You need doctors. And we just happen to be surgeons. Man: You think I need surgery? Alex: You never know. Izzie: It's free. A free clinic. Man: But my co-pays only ten bucks. Izzie: That's lunch. (A woman coughs nearby) Alex: Sounds like TB. Izzie: Yeah. Very contagious. (Cristina is doing Ellis' Echo) Ellis: You and Meredith are good friends? I can tell. Because you're afraid to look at me. As if I might ask you some personal question about her and you'll accidentally slip. But you don't do anything accidentally, do you? Has Meredith chosen a specialty? Cristina: That's a personal question. Ellis: For surgeons, the most personal question you can ask. It tells you who they are. Cristina: My mother would wanna know whether I had a boyfriend. Ellis: You're mother sounds like a frivolous woman. Cristina: If I chose cardio-thoracic's, what would that say about me? Ellis: Heart surgeons are the know-it-alls. They're the most ambitious, the most driven. They want it all and they want it now. And they don't want anything getting in their way. Meredith says I'm part of an Alzheimer's research study. I want a neuro consult with the doctor who put me in the trial. (Cristina walks into the ambulance bay where Meredith is standing) Cristina: Hey, Mer. I've been looking for you. Burke has me on your mom. Are you ok? Meredith: I'm avoiding her. I'm avoiding the gift. Cristina: Yeah, well, uh...your gift wants to meet Derek. Meredith: What? What did you say? Cristina: No, no, no. Not Derek your boyfriend, Derek the neurosurgeon. She's gonna know that's he's your boyfriend anyway. She has ways. I'm kind of in love with her, by the way. Meredith: she has that effect on people who aren't her daughter. (Izzie wheels by with the man who hurts when it pees) Izzie: Hey! I heard about your mother. That's unbelievable. Meredith: Yeah. It's a gift. Cristina: She avoiding her. Izzie: Mer, she's your mother. And she's really here. Cristina: This is your chance, you should talk to her. Izzie: You should spend some time with her. Meredith: She has a very long history of being disappointed in me. Izzie: You're a doctor now. Parental disappointment ends with medical degree. Man: Could we get moving? It hurts when I pee. Cristina: Are you stealing patients from the ER? Izzie: Yes. But only because I have to know that I did not spend my entire inheritance on an empty room with empty beds. Because if I did that I might go crazy and George called dibs on all the crazy this week. Do you think Callie's pregnant? Man: I'm going back to the ER. Izzie: Ok. Just keep your pants on. We're going. Meredith: What...what...what...what? What's going on? Cristina: Oh, yeah. Bambi got married. (Meredith motions for George to come out of Marina's room) George: Everything ok? Are you off today? Meredith: You got married? George: Yeah, I did. It was uh...I know it was impulsive. Meredith: Well was it good impulsive or was it Meredith impulsive? Because if it was Meredith impulsive maybe I can help get you out of it. George: No...no it's a good thing. Meredith: Good. George: It's good, um...(They hug) but, uh...thanks for the backup. Meredith: Your welcome. Congratulations, George. George: Thank you. (George goes back in the room just as Ellis walks up) Ellis: Are you planning on coming to talk to me anytime soon? (Alex is pushing a patient past the desk where Addison is sitting. Addison is staring at him with "dirty" in her eyes. Callie notices and comes over.) Callie: Uh, you know those cartoons where there's a bear, uh, or whatever and it's starving and it looks at a table. And the table turns into this delicious cooked turkey with like, lines of deliciousness coming of it... Addison: Oh, I was not looking at him like that. Because he is the help and I am not going to be sleeping with the help. Callie: I married the help. Addison: What? Callie: We went to Vegas. My idea, I embrace the trashy. Addison: That's...not that I'm not happy for you but...why? Married, so fast? Callie: You know those cartoons where there's a bear and it's starving, and it looks at a cute intern. Addison: Well, congratulations. Callie: Thank you. Thank you. Oh it's small I know, it's small. Addison: It's beautiful. Callie: You think so? Addison: Yes. Callie: Yes. (Ellis' room) Ellis: So, tell me about yourself. Meredith: Well... Ellis: What's your life like? I...I really do wanna know you, Meredith. Meredith: Well, I have a boyfriend. Ellis: Does he understand the demands of your career? Cause not all men do. They say they do upfront but they... Meredith: He's great. He's a doctor too, so he gets it. Ellis: Good. Meredith: He's actually... Ellis: Have you chosen a specialty? Meredith: No, it's...it's still early. Ellis: Cristina's already chosen cardio-thoracics. Meredith: Yeah, well, I guess I'm just waiting to be inspired. I'm happy now. I feel like I know who I am plus I think when you have someone in your life that you love, you really love, I think that's...I don't know I just...I'm really happy. Ellis: What happened to you? Meredith: What do you mean? Ellis: You're happy? You're happy now? The Meredith I knew was a force of nature, passionate, focused, a fighter. What happened to you? You've gone soft. Stammering about a boyfriend and saying you're waiting to be inspired. You're waiting for inspiration? Are you kidding me? I have a disease for which there is no cure. I think that would be inspiration enough. Meredith: Mom... Ellis: Listen to me, Meredith. Anyone can fall in love and be blindly happy. But not everyone can pick up a scalpel and save a life. I raised you to be an extraordinary human being. So imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years and discover that you're no more than ordinary. What happened to you? (George is in Marina's room, drawing her blood) Vincent: We live in the same building, so...I'd see her in the laundry room and uh, she's really sexy when she folds clothes. (George is drawing her blood, his hand is shaking.) Vincent: Once we started dating it was like boom. We got really serious, really fast. Now I'm just kinda like...I don't even know her middle name. Trying to fill out these forms and I'm stumped on the first question. George: Rose. That's her middle name. Rose. (George looks sick) (Meredith and Derek are walking through the hall) Meredith: She's charming, she's fabulous and then suddenly she's the enemy. Derek: I'm meeting the enemy? Meredith: Just don't get personal. Derek: You're being ridiculous. Meredith: I am not being ridiculous. Derek: Ok, it's going to be fine. Meredith: Just be careful, she has ways. (He enters Ellis' room) (George walks past Olivia in the hall) Olivia: Hi, George. George: Hi. Olivia: Are you ok? George: Yeah. Olivia: You seem kind of shaky, and sweaty, and pale. Is it the marriage? Are you totally regretting it? George: No, the marriage is fine. (He hands her Marina's blood) Do you mind...taking that to, uh...taking the blood work to the lab for me. Olivia: Sure. George: Thanks. I think I need to sit down. Olivia: George, if you need to talk... George: Thanks. (Callie walks up) Callie: Hey. Are you ok? You're sweating. George: I'm good. What's your middle name? Callie: It's bad. I don't tell anyone. George: Come on. We're married and I don't even know you're middle name. Callie: Ok, I knew it. It's your weird and judgey friends. You let them get to you. George: No, it's...I don't...I don't know your middle name. I can't...God, I can barely breathe. Callie: You know what, you didn't know my middle name last week and you could breathe just fine. George: What? (Ellis' room) Ellis: What about a functional MRI now, while I'm lucid? Derek: Mmm. An MRI's not gonna show us anything new. No test is gonna help us understand what's going on. Ellis: So in five years you've made no advances and there is nothing else you can for me. I don't know how you do it. Day in and day out. Work with people with this awful disease. Derek: Oh. Actually I'm not an Alzheimer's specialist. I just took a special interest in this case...because of Meredith. Ellis: You're what happened to her. Derek: I'm sorry... Ellis: I thought you were here for me. To offer me some hope, to tell me about some new treatment, but you're here for her. Derek: Dr. Grey. Ellis: An attending? A neurosurgeon? No wonder she's so unfocused. Derek: I don't think you understand... Ellis: Oh, I understand. I understand perfectly. I've seen men like you before. Threatened by a woman that's their equal. You just want someone to admire you. And you don't care about the damage you do to her along the way. (George enters the clinic) George: I need to lay down. Izzie: No, no, no. Wait, hey. Buster, do you know how much it costs to have...these linens laundered? George: I'm sick, shaky and sweaty. My mouth is dry, my body aches. Izzie: Fine. Bailey: Uh, Karev, replace O'Malley in the OR. Alex: Yes. (Alex enters Marina's OR) Alex: So, this is Marina Wagner, your colon cancer patient? Richard: Karev, where the hell's O'Malley? Alex: Curled up in a ball in the clinic. Richard: He ok? Alex: Uh, he's married. Richard: Right. Ok, Boki, ten blade. (The clinic) Izzie: Stolen, non-emergent ER cases and a sick hospital staff. This is what eight million dollars buys you. Bailey: Dr. Stevens, I swear on my life, if I hear you say eight million dollars one more time... Izzie: It's not about the money. It's...it's Denny...it's his legacy. It's...I was looking for meaning. This was supposed to be meaningful. Bailey: It will be meaningful. Izzie: Eight million dollars worth? (A man and his daughter enter) Mr. Hanson: Excuse me, are you doctors? Can I...? Are you the doctor? Bailey: Yes, we are. Izzie: Are you a patient? Like an actual, free clinic patient? Mr. Hanson: Not me, my daughter. Izzie: So your daughter's sick. Kelly: I'm not sick. Can we please go? Mr. Hanson: Kelly...finds...suddenly...that she has a need for (he pulls out a box of tampons)...these products and uh, we were hoping that you might show her how to use them. (George is in bed in the clinic and Olivia is nearby) Olivia: George you're married. You should be happy, you don't look happy. George: I'm sick, Olivia. (Bailey is helping the lab tech into bed) Bailey: All right...you can...you should go home O'Malley. Clearly, whatever you have is contagious. George: Aren't you from the lab? Lab Tech: Yeah, I feel like crap. George: Is that the lady you gave Marina's blood to? Olivia: Uh, yeah. George: And you all feel shaky and nauseas? Lab Tech: It's awful. George: She's toxic. Olivia: Callie, yeah. A lot of us feel that way. George: No, the patient's blood is toxic. It's making us sick. Has the Chief started, uh, Marina's operation? Olivia: They were wheeling her up as I came down. George: What's the extension for OR 1? (The scene flips to OR 1. The phone is ringing but no one is answering. The camera pans around to show at least five people on the floor. Richard and Alex are among them.) (Outside the OR, the doctors and staff have all been removed. Derek and Burke are talking) Derek: The patient's blood is apparently highly toxic. Any contact is dangerous. No body goes in there until we figure out what the hell is going on. (He walks toward Richard) How's he doing? Addison: He's...but his BP's starting to stabilize. He's doing better on oxygen. It's a good thing he got out of there when he did. (Nurse walks up) Nurse: Dr. Shepherd. Derek: What is it? Nurse: Can you sign this. (Meredith walks up) Meredith: I just heard. How can I help? Derek: You're off duty. You should be with your mother. Meredith: I don't wanna spend time with my mother. The Chief is down, Alex is down. I would like to help. Derek: Dr. Grey. You wanna help, talk to your resident. (Derek walks over to where Burke and Mark are) Derek: What do you got? Burke: They found an herbal supplement in her purse. The lab guys think it combined with the chemo chemicals and turned her blood into some kind of neuro-toxin. Mark: We're lucky they're not all dead. Derek: The only reason she's alive is because she's intubated. Burke: Who got them out of there? Derek: O'Malley. (Callie pushes past the boys to where George is on a bed) Callie: George. George: Callie. She was toxic. Her blood was toxic. It's not our marriage. Callie: You thought our marriage was toxic? Addison: (To the boys) Ok, all our people are being treated. Now, what do we do about her. (Marina is still intubated) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cristina enters Ellis' room) Cristina: Dr. Grey. Your holter monitor shows your having multiple runs of tachycardia every hour. So, Dr. Burke would like to do a radio-plation. Ellis: Why would he recommend surgery when medication can keep it under control? Because Alzheimer's patients aren't always compliant with their meds. Cristina: And...apparently, Meredith says, your particularly difficult. Ellis: I could elect not to treat it at all. Cristina: Your stress test shows coronary artery disease. That coupled with the tachy arrhythmias could cause too much stress on your heart. Which would, eventually... Ellis: What would you do? If the thing that defines who you are, was taken away. Tell Dr. Burke...I don't want the surgery. Cristina: I'm...I'm very sorry, Dr. Grey. But technically that decision isn't yours. It's Meredith's. (Clinic) Izzie: This is a maxi pad, heavy flow day. Mini pad pretty self-explanatory. Just...peel the label, and stick it. And the tampon, we've already gone over so...are we clear on everything? Kelly, I understand that...you're a little mortified that your dad dragged you in here but you can you just talk...or nod, or something. Kelly: I get it, ok. (Bailey enters) Bailey: How's it going with our very first patient? Izzie: Kelly's a woman. Can I just go to the gallery and learn something. If that's ok with you. Bailey: Go ahead. (Izzie leaves) Bailey: Uh, Mr. Hanson, if you could go to the front desk and fill out some paperwork, I can get you out of there. Mr. Hanson: Of course, of course. Thank you. Since my wife died I...I've been in the woods a little with Kelly. (Mr. Hanson leaves) Bailey: Are you ok, Kelly? Any cramps? Cause a heating pad... Kelly: Could I be pregnant if I had sx last week? Like before the period thing started. Cause I did and it would really suck if I'm pregnant. Cause now the guys being a real jerk and he's totally ignoring me at school. So, I really hope I can't be pregnant. I can't, right? Anyway, you could, like, answer me before my dad gets back. (Ellis' room) Meredith: I'm not sure refusing treatment is what you wanna do. Ellis: Apparently what I want doesn't matter. It isn't even legally binding. So it's really about what you want, Meredith. You're in charge. Meredith: Do you think I like making these decisions for you? Do you think it's fun to get calls from the nursing home asking me whether I was planning on giving the nurse, who changes you every morning, a Christmas tip? But I do it, because you have managed to alienate every one else in your life. And I am the only one, so I have to step up and do it. You wanna know why I'm so unfocused, so ordinary? You wanna know what happened to me? You! You happened to me. Ellis: Then let me refuse the surgery. Meredith: No! Ellis: Why not? Meredith: Because killing my mother is not gonna be another thing that happens to me. (Meredith storms out and slams the door) (Burke and Derek are putting on special suits) Derek: These suits are airtight. Burke: Yeah, these packs circulate the air inside. Mark: These batteries haven't been charging long. I'm guessing you've got about 30 minutes before they die and you have to come out. Addison: Oh, my God. The anesthesia's wearing off. She's waking up. Mark: Thirty minutes starting now. Addison: She's fighting intubation. Burke: We go inside before these seals are secure, we wouldn't last five minutes and she will die. Mark: These guys are two minutes out. Addison: She doesn't have two minutes. Mark: Addison (Addison grabs a mask and rushes into the OR, Marina is fighting the intubation.) Mark: Get the hell out of there. Addison: She's awake, Mark. She's awake and open on the table. I need to know her weight so I can dose her with the propocal. Mark: She looks about 60 kilos. Addison: It's ok. You're ok. It's ok. Got it. (Addison looks sick and rushes towards the door. She knocks things over on her way out and Mark catches her as she collapses at the door) Mark: I gotcha, I gotcha. (Derek and Burke enter the OR) (Ellis' room, her monitor is beeping) Nurse: Looks like SVT. Cristina: Push 10 of adenocine and page Dr. Burke. Nurse: He's already gone into surgery. I'll get the adenocine. Ellis: Carotid massage. Do the carotid massage. Cristina: Carotid massage can regulate the heart and stop SVT. Ok, hold on. Hold on. Hold on please. Hold on, hold on. Ok. Ok, ok, ok, ok. Ellis: You're good. Sharp under pressure. You'll make an extraordinary surgeon. Cristina: Dr. Grey, I need to ask you. Will it get in my way? Can I have both. Can I be a great surgeon and have a life? Cause there is this great man who just asked me to marry him and I know you tried to have both and you split up with Meredith's dad and I know this is none of my business. Ellis: It is none of your business. And I didn't try hard enough. Cristina: Thank you. (Richard is outside the OR) Meredith: Are you feeling better? Richard: I will be once my patient is off the table. Look at these two, a heart surgeon and a neurosurgeon performing a bowel resection. You think the world stops when you stop but it just keeps on going. People perform your surgeries better than you could. The next generation comes up and you're scared you'll be forgotten. Your mother stopped for five years and you became someone. Meredith: According to her I didn't. According to her I'm a disappointment. Richard: In a perfect would she'd be able to tell you she was proud of you. But it's not a perfect world. And your mothers not a perfect woman. Meredith: I think the person she'd most like to see right now is you. Richard: The only thing your mother wants to hear right now is that I regret staying with Adele. It's the only gift I could give her. And I can't tell her that. That's not true. (Inside Marina's OR) Burke: They won't fit. Richard: Stop right there. The bowels swelled, they won't fit. How much time do you have? Mark: Eight minutes. Richard: Ok, listen to me. And do everything I say. (Kelly's room in the clinic) Bailey: Kelly, your pregnancy test is negative and you're clean for STD's. Mr. Hanson: Oh, thank God. Kelly: Great! Thanks to you I'm grounded for the rest of my life. Mr. Hanson: Kelly, be polite. Bailey: I'm sorry, sir. But polite doesn't seem to be getting you to very far. Kelly, you're dad told me you lost your mother a few years ago and I want to say how sorry I am. I'm sure you have a million questions and I'm sure if you're mother were here she would have more eloquent answers than I do but her and I would actually be saying the same thing. Which is, if you keep going the way you're going, you will get an STD. You will get pregnant. You will increase your chances of getting cervical cancer. You're not being smart and you're too young for anyone to expect you to be smart the way you need to be when you're having sx. Which means you're too young to be having it. Kelly: I thought he liked me. Bailey: Oh honey, I know you did. I know you did. (Kelly starts crying and Mr. Hanson hugs her) (Callie walks over to George) Callie: Ok, you're gonna live. George: Callie, wait. I was a little bit heroic in there. I thought you'd be proud of me. Callie: Proud? You were poisoned and you thought it was about me. George: It felt like an anxiety attack. Callie: About me. You see we were fine when we were in our Vegas bubble. When it was just room service and pay cable and us. It was all bliss but then you get around your weird and judgey friends for one day and suddenly your wracked with uncertainty. Toxic gas level uncertainty. I guess it was too much to just hope you'd stand up for me. George: Callie. Callie: And my middle name is Iphegenia. Ok? I can't wait to hear what your pals have to say about that. (Alex is being examined, Addison is watching him) Alex: So that was pretty cool, what you just did. Go in and putting her back under. Addison: Cool or stupid? Take your pick. (They share a moment) Addison: Ok, all right, I gotta go. (Gallery of Marina's OR) Izzie: What's going on? Meredith: Chief figured out the anesthesiologist didn't have time to drop an NG tube so now they have to place one and decompress and repack her intestines and close. And they're about to run out of air. Izzie: Holy crap! This so beats Tampon training. (Richard and Mark are in the gallery) Richard: Preston, you'll need to milk the bowel to get out the excess fluid. Pack her and wrap her and get her stable for transport. (Derek looks sick) Meredith: How's George? Izzie: Medically, he's fine. Emotionally, he's a little stunted if you ask me. You don't marry the rebound girl, am I right? Cristina: You don't marry anyone on a whim. Meredith: He needs our support. Izzie: He doesn't need us. He's got his Vegas show wife. Cristina: Oh. Mark: Chief they're at 32 minutes, you gotta pull them out Richard: How you doing on air? (Burke looks sick as well) Burke: I'm out. Derek: You go. I'll be right there... Burke: Alone? You can't. (Burke passes out, Derek tries to help him and passes out as well.) Cristina: That's not good. (Scrub room, Richard has already done in to pull Derek and Burke out. Izzie, Cristina and Meredith are scrubbed in) Richard: Ok, damage control. We still have to pack her and wrap her so that she's stable for transport. We work in shifts. One doctor at a time, no one stays in for more than 20 seconds. Dr. Sloan do you want to go first? Mark: I'm not going in there. Richard: What? Mark: It would be irresponsible for the remaining healthy attending to expose himself to the neuro-toxin. A neuro-toxin whose long-term effects we're still unaware of. So, I'm staying in here. Cristina: I can swim three lengths of my parents pool underwater. Richard: All right, you're up Dr. Yang. Let's get her masked. Sloan give her the lap pads. You're gonna wet them and pack the cavity. (Cristina enters the OR) If you feel faint get out. Come on Yang, hurry. (Cristina exits) Cristina: I packed the wound. Richard: Dr. Stevens, Cristina: I couldn't get...I couldn't... Richard: Remove the drape and secure the plastic along the sides. It's gotta be tight. (Izzie enters) Hurry. Come on Stevens. Come on. (Izzie leaves) Izzie: I couldn't...the seal it twisted. Richard: Ok, the seal needs to be as close to airtight as possible. It'll inflate and then you'll know it's secure. (Meredith enters) Come on Grey. Come on. (The seal inflates) (Outside Marina's room) Vincent: She's still toxic? George: She's on CRRT. It's a type of dialysis to remove toxins from the blood. You should be able to go in, in a few hours. (Marina wakes up) Vincent: (On the intercom) You woke up. You're gonna be ok. Marina: I was hoping you would never have to know about any this. I thought all the bad stuff in my life was over when I met you. Vincent: It is Marina Rose. Marina: That's my name. (Richard is in the ER talking with the doctors) Richard: Heroic work all of you, heroic. Dr. Sloan lets check on our patient. (Mark and Richard walk away) Derek: How come we do all the work and he gets all the glory? Addison: Because he's Mark. (Clinic, Izzie enters) Izzie: I'm sorry I left. I...it was...I got to do damage control on the toxic woman. Bailey: Good for you. Izzie: You ever get any patients? Bailey: Just that one. Izzie: One. Bailey: Eight million dollars worth of one. Lock up for me. (Ellis' room. Richard enters) Richard: I heard you're having surgery tomorrow. Ellis: Do you...do I know who Meredith is? Do I at least recognize Meredith? Richard: You know she's someone important. Someone who loves you. Ellis: You look out for her, cause she's got so much more to learn and I won't be able to teach her. Richard: I'll look out for her. Ellis: I wish I could go back. I'd do everything so differently. I'd fighter harder for you. I think if I'd fought for you... Richard: We would have had a wonderful life together Ellis. Ellis: You think so? Richard: I do. We would have done our fellowship here. And then you would have fought me for chief and probably one and I wouldn't have minded cause we'd have kids at home. Ellis: We have kids? Richard: Meredith would have needed a brother and sister. Kids need family. Ellis: We would have been a family. Richard: Probably bought that big house on Parker, the one with the barn. That's a good place for a family. Ellis: And I would have been happy just like Meredith says she's happy. And that would have changed everything. Maybe...I would be fine and we could grow old together and life would be so perfectly ordinary. Richard: Yeah. Ellis: My life is so unfinished. It's unfinished and I'm unfinished. Richard: No, Ellis. Don't think that. Just close your eyes and think of the family, of the house. Ellis: And you there every night to come home to. Richard: And me there. I'm there. (Locker room) Cristina: I'm super scrubbed. I'm minus my epidermis. Meredith: I still feel all fumey. (Callie enters) Izzie: Hey. It's the little women. So what are your plans now? You're not moving in are you? Callie: Nice. George: Wait, Callie. Callie: No, it's... George: Wait. (To Izzie) Unbelievable. You people. You're supposed to be my friends, my closest friends. Callie is an important part of my life now. If you want to drive her away and your masters at it, you'll do it. But if she's gone I'm gone. She's my wife. Calliope Iphegenia Torres is my wife. (Izzie starts to laugh) George: Don't you dare. Izzie: Ok. (Seattle scenes) MVO: As doctors, we're trained to give our patients just the facts. But what are patients really want to know is. Will the pain ever go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? (Addison and Mark are having s*x in a darkened hotel room) Mark: I thought you said you didn't think about me. Addison: I don't. I am actively not thinking about you, right now. MVO: What are patients really want to know is... (Cristina is laying her bed, she walks to the kitchen where Burke is) MVO: ...is their hope. Cristina: I don't do rings. (She sets the ring on the counter) Cristina: Don't expect me to suddenly change. I'm a surgeon just like you. And we'll have money, we can hire a wife. Burke: Are you saying yes? Cristina: Yeah. Burke: I'm not letting you scrub in tomorrow. Cristina: Well, I'm not wearing the ring. Burke: Ok. Cristina: Ok, then. (They hug and start cheering and laughing) Burke: Yes! Ok, ok, ok! (Meredith is at her mom's room) MVO: But inevitably there are times when you find yourself in the worst-case scenario. Richard: Meredith... Meredith: I just have to say this. The reason I want you to have the surgery is because I have this hope that in a year or two years or five, they're gonna have a breakthrough. They're gonna find a cure for Alzheimer's and you and I will have another chance, to get to know each other. You will have a chance to get to know me, to see that I am not even remotely ordinary. So, I wish you would have the surgery But it's up to you, Mom. It's your life. Ellis: You remind me of my daughter. Richard: About an hour ago. One minute she was here, the next...I'm so sorry. Meredith: Me too. MVO: When the patient's body has betrayed them and all the science we have to offer has failed them. When the worst-case scenario comes true, clinging to hope is all we have left.	Plan: A: the Chief's position; Q: What is the race for? A: Derek; Q: Who does Ellis blame for Meredith's mediocrity? A: Burke; Q: Who does Cristina agree to marry after watching him risk his life during the surgery? A: Webber's affections; Q: What do the attending physicians compete for? A: The Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic; Q: What is open for business, but no one shows up? A: Denny's legacy; Q: What did Izzie invest in the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic? A: Alex; Q: Who does Izzie team up with to steal patients from the emergency room? A: Las Vegas; Q: Where did Callie and George go to announce their marriage? A: cancer; Q: What is the patient that George and Webber treat suffering from? A: a neurotoxin; Q: What is in the patient's blood that causes everyone to fall ill? A: The staff; Q: Who has to operate on a patient in hazmat suits? A: his proposal; Q: What did Cristina not answer to Burke? A: Meredith; Q: Who schedules Ellis's heart surgery? A: Meredith's Alzheimer's-stricken mother; Q: Who is Ellis Grey? A: her medical condition; Q: What does Ellis Grey experience a change in? A: the day; Q: For how long does Ellis Grey become lucid? A: the mediocrity; Q: What is Ellis Grey disappointed in? A: the upcoming surgery; Q: What does Meredith schedule for her mother despite her mother's wishes? A: love; Q: What does Ellis still feel for Webber? A: her memory; Q: What does Ellis lose after Webber talks to her? Summary: The race for the Chief's position is on, and the attending physicians, Derek, Burke, Addison, and Mark, compete for Webber's affections by trying to help out everywhere possible. The Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic is open for business, but no one shows up. Izzie is disappointed in what she invested Denny's legacy in, and she and Alex team up to steal patients from the emergency room. Callie and George get back from Las Vegas, announcing their marriage, much to everyone's disbelief. Izzie is not supportive of their marriage and tries to get George to realize the mistake he has made. George and Webber treat a patient with cancer, but her blood has a neurotoxin in it that causes all the staff around her to fall ill. The staff have to operate on her in hazmat suits, and later in small bursts to complete her surgery. Cristina doesn't give Burke an answer to his proposal, but after watching him risk his life during the surgery, she agrees to marry him. Meanwhile, Meredith's Alzheimer's-stricken mother, Ellis Grey, experiences a change in her medical condition by becoming lucid for the day. She is disappointed in the mediocrity her daughter has fallen into and begins to despise Derek, blaming him for what happened to the Meredith that used to be "a force of nature". Ellis has to have heart surgery and, despite her mother's wishes, Meredith schedules the upcoming surgery. Webber talks to Ellis and realizes that she is still in love with him, but she loses her memory after their talk ends, before Meredith has the chance to tell her how she really feels.
Prologue: Morning at Sunnydale High School. Willow and Xander slowly walk together across the lawn toward the walkway to the main entrance. In their hands they have the results of their Scholastic Aptitude Tests, with which neither is particularly happy. Willow: This is a nightmare. This is... My world is spinning. Xander: It's not that bad, Willow, really. Willow: 740? Verbal?! I'm-I'm... (searches for a word) pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel. Xander: (shrugs) That's right. And the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot. They fold up their score reports as they near a bench at the side of the walkway. Willow: I just... (sits and slouches, depressed) Where did I go wrong? Xander sits down next to her and puts his arm around her in comfort, but not missing the opportunity to give her hair a gentle stroke. Xander: You did amazing, Willow. As usual. Behind them Oz and Cordelia approach. Cordelia: You guys get your scores? Xander instantly lets go of Willow, hops to his feet and rushes to meet her. Xander: Cordelia! (points) Willow was very sad by her academic failure. (reaches for Cordelia's score report) How did you do? He snags it from her hand, unfolds it and reads it. Xander: This is not good. Cordelia: What's not good? Oz gives Willow a reassuring stroke of her hair. She just sadly hands him her report to see. Xander: Well, I'm just worried it may hurt my standing as campus stud when people find out I'm dating a brain. Cordelia: (yanks her scores from his hand) Please. I have some experience in covering these things up. Oz: (to Willow) Well, I can see why you'd be upset. Willow gives him a hurt look, grabs her report back from him and looks down at the ground, her feelings of failure evident in her furrowed brow. Oz: That was my sarcastic voice. Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice. Oz: I've been told that. (trying to be upbeat) But we should celebrate, do something. Cordelia: Like, the four of us? She gives Xander a pointed look, shaking her head and clearly mouthing "No". He ignores her completely. Xander: A double date! It could have potential. Buffy walks up the steps from the street, a long look on her face, and joins the gang. Willow: (brightens and stands up) Buffy! Hey! Did you get your SAT scores? Buffy gives her a weak nod. Xander: By the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are gonna be manning the drive-through window side by side. Buffy: They're just test scores, right? (hands hers to Willow) What do they really mean, anyway? Willow: (unfolds it and reads) (very excited) 1430! Buffy, you kicked ass! Buffy raises her eyebrows at her friend. Cordelia's eyes go wide with amazement. Willow: (more calmly) Okay, (folds the report) so academic achievement gets me a little excited. Buffy hands her scores to Xander for him to see. Xander: Buff, that's amazing. Cordelia: Let me see that. She yanks it out of Xander's hand before he can even begin to unfold it and checks it out. Oz: Yeah. With scores like that, you can apply pretty much anywhere you want. Willow: Buffy, this could, like, change your whole future. Buffy: (unsure what to make of it) The thought had occurred to me. Xander: Then why the sour puss? Buffy: I don't know. I guess... my future. I never really thought about it. I wasn't even sure I was going to have one. Cordelia: (smiling hugely) Well, I think this is great! Now you can leave and never come back! She gets looks from everyone. Xander hands Buffy back her scores. Cordelia: Well, I mean that in a positive way. Get out of Sunnydale. That's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever wanna come back here? Cut to a small park and playground that night. A classic 1958 Dodge Desoto FireFlite crashes through the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign and screeches to a halt. The door opens and a nearly empty liquor bottle falls out and smashes to pieces on the pavement. Spike slides off of his seat and hits the street flat on his back on top of the broken glass, drunk out of his mind. He lifts his head unsteadily and tries to raise himself to his elbows. Spike: Home, sweet... (chuckles) home. He passes out and collapses back to the pavement. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Spike's old burned-out factory. The place is a shambles, although the great table where Giles started the fire is essentially intact, if scorched. Spike strolls through the area, stepping over the strewn chairs, while singing a few bars from "My Way". Spike: And more / Much more than this / I did it my way Cut to the bedroom in the basement. Spike comes hopping merrily down the stairs. Spike: Drusilla! I'm home! When he reaches the bottom he breaks out into a pathetic fit of giggles which quickly turn to sobs. He sniffs a few times and wipes his nose on his sleeve. He sees what's left of the burned bed and steps up to it, steadying himself on a pillar. In despair he tosses his liquor bottle onto the bed and steps around the column. From there he sees those members of Drusilla's doll collection that didn't survive the fire piled on her dresser, all badly scorched. He reaches for one and picks it up. The features on its fine porcelain face can still be made out, but the paint, hair and dress are long gone. He stares at the doll intensely. Spike: Why did you do it, baby? Why did you leave me? We were happy here. He tries to suppress a sob and shakes it off, and suddenly he's wearing his game face. He roars at the doll angrily and throws it hard down at the concrete floor. He spins around, looking for something to smash it with. He finds a tall iron candlestick, grabs it and wields it back. Spike: YOU... (swings the candlestick) STUPID... (swings again) WORTHLESS... (swings again) BITCH! (calms a bit) Look what you've done to me. He stares down at what's left of the doll, its delicate porcelain features smashed and scattered, limbs torn and singed. He drops the iron candlestick on top of it. Cut to Cordelia's locker in the halls at school. She is getting what she needs for class while Xander tries to talk her into the double date thing. Xander: C'mon. It'll be fun! Cordelia: I don't know. I just thought we were gonna do something... you know, classy? Xander: What's classier than bowling? Cordelia: (raises her eyebrows at him) Apart from everything ever? Let's see... Xander: Oz and Willow are down. You're the swing vote. (skips around to her other side) I guarantee fun. Cordelia can't help but give him a warm smile and giggle. From his new vantage point Xander can now see the inside of her locker door. Xander: Hey, those are from the pier. There are three pictures of them. One of the two of them sitting on a bench with their arms around each other and smiling, another of just Xander sporting a huge smile, and the third of her riding on Xander's back, smiling playfully with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Cordelia: Yeah. Uh, I just got them developed. Xander: (not yet sure what to make of it) There's pictures. Of me. In your locker. I never knew I was locker door material. She closes her locker, and they begin walking down the hall. Cordelia: Well... just barely. Besides, (smiles) I look really cute in those pictures. They meet Oz and Willow coming the other way. Oz: Hey. So what's the verdict? Do we bowl? Xander gives Cordelia a pleading look. Cordelia: (gives in) We bowl. Willow: Great! Double bowling date. (pats Oz's chest) I'm on Oz's team. Xander: Yeah? Well, (points at Oz) prepare to be crushed. (takes Cordelia's arm) Maybe we should practice. Cordelia: (nods) Yeah. They go their separate ways again. Oz goes with Willow to her locker. Willow: They don't stand a chance. I'm really good. Or I used to be, (works her combination) when they had the inflatable things in the gutters. She opens her locker door as Oz holds up something small wrapped in newspaper. She faces him and notices him holding it up to her. Willow: What's this? (takes it) Oz: It's a gift. Willow: (smiles) What's the occasion? (unwraps it) Oz: Pretty much you are. Wrapped in the paper is a PEZ candy dispenser with a green witch's head on top, complete with red hair and black hat. Willow is very surprised and gives Oz a none-too-gentle slap on the left side of his chest. Willow: (excited) It's a little, uh, PEZ witch! Oz: It's kind of a theme present. Do you like it? Willow: (breathless) I like... I-I more than like. Oz, this is probably the sweetest... We have to find a little PEZ werewolf, so little PEZ witch can have a boyfriend. Oz: I don't think they make a werewolf PEZ. You might have to settle for a wacky cartoon dog. Willow: This is... just so thoughtful. Oz: Well, I think about you. Willow: (suddenly disappointed) Oh... I don't have anything to give you. Oz: (smiles at her) Yeah, you do. He puts his hand on her shoulder briefly and then heads down the hall to class. Willow follows him with her gaze for a moment, her expression showing her worry about the levels of complexity this just added to her life. She looks down at the PEZ dispenser. Cut to the library. Giles looks over Buffy's SAT score report while she plays with a contraption from Giles' huge pile of camping equipment and clothing laid out on the big table. Giles: Buffy, this is, this is remarkable. Buffy: So is this. (puts the thing down) Where is this retreat thingy, the Yukon? (reaches for something else) Giles: It's quite nearby, actually. (Buffy finds a compass) It's, um, it's the clearing at the top of Breaker's Woods. Buffy opens the compass and sees that there is a mirror inside the lid. She quickly checks her hair. Giles: It's the site of some fascinating druidic rituals. Buffy: (closes the compass) Okay, but you're just going for a few days, right? (Giles takes the compass from her) I mean, you're not gonna settle there and grow crops or anything. Giles: (confused) What? Oh, my gear. No, no, this is, this is basic necessities. Buffy: Giles, you pack like me. Giles: (gives her a little smile) Here. (hands Buffy her scores) I suspect your mother will want to, uh, put it on the refrigerator. Buffy: (puts the report away) Yeah. She saw these scores, and her head spun around and exploded. Giles: (unsure what she meant) I-I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes? Buffy: Yes. She was happy. Giles smiles in relief, and goes over to the cage. Buffy: She started with all this crazy talk about me going to college, maybe someplace else. Inside the cage Giles pauses from pulling down a book. Buffy: I know. I know, I said that you were gonna have a goat. Responsibilities and all. I know the drill. Giles: She may be right. (comes back out of the cage) Buffy: Yeah, I know, I figured you'd... She gives Giles a bewildered look. Buffy: Okay. Be kind, rewind. Giles: With scores like these, Buffy, you could have a first-rate education. I'm, I'm not suggesting that you... ignore your calling, but, um... you need to look to your future. (goes back to the table) And with Faith here, i-i-it may be that you can (draws a breath) move on. For a-a time, at least. (packs the book) Buffy: (unsure how to react) Wow. Giles: Well, let's, um, let's discuss it when I get back. I-in the meantime, um, I'd like you to continue training while I'm, while I'm gone, and, um, please don't do anything rash. Buffy: 'Anything rash', meaning... Giles: (hesitates for an instant) Are you planning on seeing Angel? Buffy: Yes. Actually, I am. (Giles averts his eyes) Look, but there's not gonna be any rash. (realizes how that sounds and gets a look from Giles) Anywhere. (defensively) Okay. We're, we're friends. That's all either of us wants. (looks at Giles seriously) Nothing's gonna happen. Cut outside. Willow and Xander come walking around the corner from the colonnade and through the breezeway. Willow: Something's gonna happen. Xander: Like what? Willow: Uh! It's a mistake! It's a terrible, fatal mistake. I see that now. Xander: It's just bowling. They turn down a covered walkway. Willow: It's bad bowling. I-it's a double date, with all of us, and they're gonna know! Xander: How are they gonna know? Willow: It's a very intimate situation. It's all sexy with the smoke and the sweating and the shoe rental... Xander: You're turned on by rented shoes? Willow: That's not the issue. They stop walking, and Xander faces her. Xander: Okay, well, let me ask you this: what are they gonna know? That we're friends. Old, old friends. And maybe we've had one or two indiscretions, but that's all past. Look. We're just very good friends who like to hang out, and can I kiss your earlobe? Willow: No! Well, okay. (jerks away) No! (holds up the dispenser) PEZ! They both pause for a moment to calm down and think. Xander: Maybe bowling might be too much to handle. Man! (strokes her hair) I wish I wasn't so attracted to you. (takes a deep breath) I wish we could make it all stop. Willow: Any suggestions? Cut to the kitchen at Buffy's house. She is making microwave popcorn. Her mother has her hands full of college brochures. Joyce: Carnegie Mellon has a wonderful design curriculum. Oh, and Brown University's history program is... You like history, right? Buffy: Could we talk about this another time? (gets a large bowl) All day it's been like, 'Congratulations! Go away.' (takes the bowl to the island) Joyce: That's not it. It's just you belong at a, a good old-fashioned college with, with keg parties and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires. The microwave beeps. Buffy: Not really seeing the distinction. She goes to get the bag of popcorn. Joyce: Y'know, you're always talking about how you wish you could lead a more normal life. Well, this is your chance! Buffy: Yeah, it's just not that simple. (takes the popcorn to the bowl) I have responsibilities. (opens the bag) Joyce: I know, I know, but I spoke with Mr. Giles, and he said... Buffy: ...that Faith could be Miss Sunnydale in the Slayer Pageant. I know. (dumps the popcorn into the bowl) Joyce: It's time to think about your future, Buffy, about your whole life. I mean, honestly, is there anything keeping you here? Cut to Angel's mansion. He's sitting by the fireplace quietly reading "La Nausea", by Jean Paul Sartre. Spike spies on him, peering in between the boards that have been haphazardly nailed across the destroyed doorway to the atrium. Finally Angel closes his book, gets up and walks into a rear hallway. Spike gives him a drunken humph. Spike: (slurred) Yeah, you. You think I'm afraid of you? He steps back from the boards, swaying unsteadily. Spike: We were happy! You brainwashed her. I could just... He looks at his bottle and takes a long drink. When it's empty he tosses it aside in a huff. Spike: Yeah, I'll show you who's a cool guy. (starts to leave) You're goin' down. In his drunkenness he trips over one of the flower beds, falls into it and passes out. Cut to dawn. The first red rays of the sun appear over the hills and shine into the atrium. Spike lies in shadow, but his left hand is extended away from his body, and a beam of light nears it as the sun rises. Soon his hand is fully exposed to the light and it begins to smoke. A couple of seconds later it bursts into flame. The new light source shines into Spike's face, and he wakes and sees his hand aflame. Spike: Whoa! He leaps to his feet and runs over to the fountain, screaming all the way. He holds his hands under it, but it's going at just a trickle. Quickly he bends down and jams his hand into the pool of water at its base, dousing the flames. No sooner is that problem gone than he realizes he's standing in shaded but direct sunlight, and he's beginning to smoke elsewhere. He pulls at his heavy overcoat, trying to shade his face, as he scrambles up the stairs and out of the atrium. Cut to inside Spike's car. The rear driver's side door whips open and Spike dives in, right on top of a huge pile of empty beer cans, liquor bottles and other trash. He quickly slams the door shut and grabs a bottle from the front seat. He pulls the cork out with his teeth and pours a generous splash over his burned hand. He grunts loudly in pain and takes a good drink. The immediate emergency taken care of, he relaxes a bit and tries to catch his breath. Spike: This is just too much. Cut to a small magic shop. The shopkeeper hears the rear door close and goes to investigate. There she finds Spike looking through one of her books. Shopkeeper: Did you come in through the back? Spike: Yeah. I need a curse. Shopkeeper: A what? Spike: (exasperated) A curse! Y'know, something nasty. Boils. I wanna give him boils all over his face. You know, dripping pustules. Let's really go for the gusto here. Shopkeeper: I'm hearing a lot of negative energy, and I bet... Spike: (interrupts) Leprosy! Alright, a spell that makes his parts fall off. That sounds proper. Shopkeeper: We don't carry... (the front door chimes) leprosy. She turns to see Willow come in through the front door. Shopkeeper: Would you excuse me a moment? She goes to help her new customer. Shopkeeper: Blessed be. Anything in particular I can help you find? Willow: Yeah. (holds up her notepad) It's all here on the list. (reads down the list) Skink root, essence of rose thorn, canary feathers... Shopkeeper: Aha! (smiles) A love spell. Want that old lover to come back to you? (Spike is suddenly interested in their conversation) Are you sure you know what you're doing, hon? Willow: (flustered) No. Oh, I mean, yes! I... I know how to do a love spell, but this is more of an anti-love spell. Yeah. Uh, kind of a de- lusting. The supplies are basically the same, right? Shopkeeper: (smiles) Basically. (starts to gather things) Although raven feathers tend to breed a little more discontent than canary. Let me just get some things... She gathers some bags of herbs, jars of root powders, a feather and whatever else and brings them all to the counter. Spike watches intently from behind the bookcase. Shopkeeper: Okay. Mm-hmm. (adds it up) That'll be $15.80 for the lot. She bags it all while Willow pulls out her money. Willow: Thanks! She takes the bag and leaves. The shopkeeper turns her attention back to Spike and walks back to where she left him. Shopkeeper: (smiling) So, did you find a spell book? Spike jumps out from behind the bookcase all vamped out and grabs her around the neck. The shopkeeper gasps in fright, but can't bring herself to scream. Spike: Forget the book. He leans in for the bite, and they collapse to the floor. When he's sucked her dry he looks back up at the door where he saw Willow go. Spike: I just got a better idea. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale City Hall. Cut to the Mayor's office. The camera is low to the floor. Mayor Wilkins is practicing his putting in the company of his assistant Allan. He taps the ball, and it comes at the camera in a nearly perfect straight line, just missing its target. Mayor Wilkins: Oh, look at that! Every time, cuts to the left. He gets down on his hands and knees to check the lie of the floor. Mayor Wilkins: See, and it's not the carpet. It's me. (gets up to retrieve his ball) I swear, I would sell my soul for a decent short game. (drops the ball for another try) Of course, (chuckles) it's a little late for that. (chuckles) (to Allan) I don't suppose I could offer your soul, huh? Really help me on the green. Allan gives him a shocked look. Mayor Wilkins: I'm just funning. So, we have a Spike problem, do we? (takes another shot) Allan: He's been spotted back in town. The Mayor's shot is on target this time, but comes up short. He lets out a frustrated sigh and goes to retrieve his ball. Allan: And there was an incident at a magic shop in broad daylight. Police had a hell of a time covering it up. Mayor Wilkins: (drops the ball) (laughs) Well, yes, y'know, he was up to all sorts of shenanigans last year. We had a world of fun trying to guess what he'd do next. Allan: I remember. (leans against the Mayor's desk) The Mayor whistles at Allan, who immediately stands back up. Mayor Wilkins: But I guess we're past that now. This year is too important to let a loose cannon rock the boat. Allan: Should I have Mr. Trick send a... committee to deal with this? Mayor Wilkins: Loose cannon. Rock the boat. Is that a mixed metaphor? Allan: (confused) Uh... Mayor Wilkins: (musing out loud) Boats did have cannons. And a loose one would cause it to rock. Oh, honestly. I don't know where my mind goes these days. (chuckles) Why don't you take care of that Spike problem? A committee, like you said. Allan: As good as done. (leaves the office) Mayor Wilkins: That's swell. Fore! He takes another shot, and this one is directly on target. He spreads his arms, elated. Mayor Wilkins: Hey! Cut to Angel's mansion. He places another log on the fire. Buffy is on the couch with a pile of brochures on her lap. Angel: College, huh? Buffy: Higher education. Kind of an intense proposition. Angel: Where do you wanna go? (slowly comes over to her) Buffy: (closes her brochure) I have no idea. My mom was the one that got all these. She's so excited, she can't stop talking about it. (Angel sits across from her) I had a really hard time coming up with an alibi so I could come over here. Angel: She doesn't know about me. Buffy: Big no. She's having enough trouble dealing with the Slayer issue. I don't think she's ready to process the information that... you and I are friends again. Anyway, I think this college jones is just a reaction to the whole Slayer thing. Angel: She wants you to get out. Buffy: Someplace a little less Hellmouthy. (nods) She has a point. (draws a breath) Y'know, but there are reasons to stay, too. Angel: What are they? Buffy: (taken aback) Um... you know, there's my Slayer duties, obviously. What do you think I should do? Angel: As a friend, I... (stands up) I think that you should leave. (goes to the fireplace) This is a good opportunity for you. He leans against the cold stone, facing away from her. Buffy gets up to gather her brochures. Buffy: Yeah. It's not like there's any great thing keeping me here. She stuffs them into her bag. Angel turns around when he hears the papers rustling. Buffy zips her bag closed and pulls it onto her shoulder. Buffy: Thanks for the advice. It's another perspective to consider. Angel: Where are you going? You just got here. It's early. Buffy: Yeah, well, my mom starts worrying a lot earlier these days. I'll stop by soon. She leaves without looking back. Angel watches until she's gone. Cut to the science room at school. It's dark. Willow is grinding the ingredients for the anti-love spell in a ceramic bowl. Xander walks into the dark room and heads toward Willow. Xander: Whoa! It smells like church in here. (sniffs) No, wait... Evil church. Willow: It's just chemistry stuff. An experiment. Xander: So you said when you called. Why do I have to be here? Willow: It'll help you on the exam. You're way behind. Xander: But that's why you love me, right? (bobs his head) Academically dangerous? Willow: (ignores his comment) Here. (hands him a raven feather) Hold this. Xander: A feather. And who will I be tickling? He runs it along Willow's check, and for a moment she enjoys it and giggles, but her rational mind quickly takes over and she gruffly nudges his hand aside. Willow: (warningly) Shush. Xander isn't too happy about that, but knows it has to be that way. Willow checks her spell book. Willow: Okay. Bring mixture to a boil... She lights the Bunsen burner below a flask of liquid. Xander: I assume this isn't going to make us late for our evening of bowling magic? Willow: (jerks up) There's no magic! I mean, bowling, yeah. Cordelia and Oz are gonna meet us here later. Xander: Can we turn these lights on? He notices something familiar about the book Willow is working from and steps around her to get a better look. Xander: Is that a spell book? Willow: (tries to obscure it with her hand) No, no, no! Chemistry book. Xander: Wait a minute. This is love spell stuff! You're doing a love spell? Willow: No! Of course not! This is a purely scientific... Xander picks the book up and shows her its title: "Witchcraft". Willow: ...de-lusting spell... for us. I thought it would go better if you didn't know. Xander: (raises his voice) Are you nuts, or have you forgotten that I tend to have bad luck with these sorts of spells? Willow: (raises hers back) But you said you wished that these feelings could just go away. Xander: Yeah, I wish for a lot of things! I told you I wished I was a fireman when we were in sixth grade, but you didn't follow through on that! Willow: I can't do this anymore, Xander! I mean, this whole 'us' thing is... bleagh! Xander: So, do you really need to resort to the black arts to keep our hormones in check? Willow: (calmly) At this point, I'm thinking 'no'. Xander: I'm gonna get the lights, (walks) clean this place up before they get here (clicks them on) and start asking questions. Spike walks into the room behind him and grabs him around the neck. Willow: Xander! Spike starts to choke Xander, who struggles hard, but can't get free. Spike: I need to borrow the little girl. You don't mind, do you? Xander kicks out with his legs against the wall, and shoves Spike and himself across the room and into a metal shelf. Spike isn't fazed, and throws Xander aside to the floor. He tries to get up, but Spike punches him hard. Willow grabs a microscope and comes at Spike with it. He stops her in mid-swing. Spike: Threatening me? That's not nice. (Xander gets back up) We're all gonna be very best friends. He yanks the microscope from Willow's grips and swings it around into Xander's temple. The boy goes down, out cold. Willow: Xander! Cut to Spike's factory. Xander is laid out on what's left of Drusilla's bed. Willow nervously sits on the edge, fidgeting with her hands. Spike dumps a box full of supplies on the bed next to Xander. Spike: A spell. For me. You're gonna do a spell for me. Willow: Uh, what kind of spell? Spike: A love spell! Are you brain dead? (goes to the dresser) I'm gonna get what's mine. (grabs a bottle) What's mine. (uncorks it) Teach her to walk out on me. He takes several good swallows, then looks over at Willow. Spike: What are you staring at? Willow: (averts her eyes) Nothing. Spike: You can do it, right? You can make Dru love me again? Make her crawl! Willow: I-I can try. Spike: (grabs her neck) What are you talking about, trying? You'll do it! Willow: Yes, I'll do it! He lets go of her and breaks his bottle against a bedpost. He grabs her again and threatens her with the sharp edges. Spike: You lie to me, and I'll shove this through your face! You want that? Willow: (terrified) No... Spike: Right through to your BRAIN! Willow: No, please, no... He shoves her aside and leans against the bedpost, calming down. Spike: She wouldn't even kill me. He drops the broken bottle, walks around Willow and sits down next to her. Spike: She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. (sniffs) I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? He pauses for a moment to inhale and exhale deeply. Spike: It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! (sniffs) I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. He looks at Willow's pretty young face and strokes her silky auburn hair. Spike: She only did it to hurt me. (he takes his hand off of her) So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. (leans over and sobs on Willow's shoulder) God, I'm so unhappy! Willow: (tentatively pats his knee) There, there. Spike: I mean, friends! How could she be so cruel? He raises his head and looks at her neck. Spike: Mmm. That smell... Your neck... He leans in to take a better whiff and then leans back, now in his game face. Spike: I haven't had a woman in weeks. Willow looks at him and jumps up in fright. Willow: Whoa! No! Hold it! Spike: Well, unless you count that shopkeeper. (stands up) Willow: (panting with fright) Now, now, hold on! I-I'll do your spell for you, and, and, and I'll get you Drusilla back, but, but there will be no bottle-in-face, and there will be no 'having' of any kind with me. Alright? He grabs her by the neck and bends her over, but makes no move to bite her. Instead he reverts to his human guise. Spike: Alright. (pushes her away) Get started. Willow steps around the bed to where Spike dumped the box of supplies. Willow: Now, I'm not a real witch, you know. I-I don't know if this is gonna work right away. Spike: Well, if at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him (indicates Xander), and you try again. Willow: (looks through the supplies) This isn't enough. Spike: What? (comes toward her) Willow: (nervously) Well, there are other ingredients, a-and a-a-a book. I need a, a spell book. This isn't it. Spike: You've got one, though, at home? Willow: Not at home. I left it somewhere. Spike: (gets in her face) Where? Cut to the library. Buffy is skipping rope. Suddenly Oz and Cordelia come storming in. Buffy drops her rope and goes to meet them. Cordelia: Thank God you are here. Buffy: Yeah! Not all of us have dates tonight. Oz: Something's up. Cut to the science room. The three of them come in and look at the mess. Cordelia: We were supposed to meet in here. I don't know what could have happened. Buffy finds Willow's botched experiment. Buffy: What is all this stuff? I'm thinking weird science. Cordelia: Was Willow messing with her magic tricks again? Maybe they disappeared. Maybe she turned Xander into something ishy! Buffy: (looks around) Whatever happened, there was obviously a fight. Oz: I don't see any blood. Buffy: Yeah, either they were taken, or they ran, or maybe... Cordelia: (points) You're having too many ors! Pick one! Buffy: I don't know. I need you guys to find Giles, okay? I'm gonna look for them. Maybe they didn't get too far. Cordelia: Where is Giles? Buffy: Uh, he's at a retreat in the clearing in Breaker's Woods. Oz: Yeah, I know the spot, but it's like a forty-five minute drive. Buffy: So motor! They all go on their respective missions. Cut to the library. Buffy strides in and heads straight for the cage and the weapons cabinet within. She is interrupted by the phone, and rushes over to the counter to answer it. Buffy: Giles? Joyce: (through the phone) Hi, Buffy. You still working out? Buffy: Uh, no, Mom, actually... Joyce: I was hoping that we could schedule a college talk later tonight. I admit I... (cut to her in the kitchen) overreacted before. You don't have to go all the way across the country. (sits at the island) I, um, picked up some brochures from some nearby schools, okay? Buffy: (cut to her) That's great, but now's really not a good time... Spike: (through the phone) Hello, Joyce. Buffy's eyes widen with recognition. Cut to the kitchen. Joyce looks behind her and sees Spike standing in the doorway. Cut to the library. Buffy's expression turns to horror when she realizes that it's Spike. She drops the phone and runs from the library as only a Slayer can. [SCENE_BREAK] ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The kitchen at the Summers house. Joyce picks up the teakettle from the stove and takes it over to the island, where she pours some into a cup for Spike to make hot chocolate. Spike: So I'm strolling through the park, looking for a meal, and I happen to walk by, and she's making out with the chaos demon! And so I said, 'You know, I don't have to put up with this.' And she said, 'Fine!' So I said, 'Fine, do whatever you like!' I mean, I thought we were going to make up, you know. Joyce: (sits across from him) Well, she sounds very unreasonable. Spike: She is. She's out of her mind. (sniffs) That's what I miss most about her. (smiles) Joyce: Well, Spike, sometimes even when two people seem right for each other, their lives just take different paths. When Buffy's father and I... Spike: (interrupts) No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally. (calms down) You got any of those little marshmallows? Joyce: Well, lemme look. She gets up to go check. Cut outside. Angel comes strolling through the neighborhood. He pauses to glance up into Buffy's house, and through the open door sees Spike sitting there with Joyce. Instantly he makes a dead run for the door, jumps the porch railing and tries to go in, but is surprised to find himself thrown back. Joyce is startled out of her seat, and she takes a few steps away. Angel growls at Spike in extreme anger. Angel: Spike. Joyce: Oh, my God. Get out of here! Spike: (gets up behind Joyce, smiling) Yeah. You're not invited. Joyce: He's crazy. He'll kill us. Spike: Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe. (taunts Angel) Angel: Joyce, listen to me. Joyce: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself. Spike: You're a very bad man. Angel: (seething with anger) Joyce, you can't trust him. Invite me in. Spike makes like he's going to bite Joyce. Angel: You touch her, and I'll cut your head off! Spike: Yeah? You and what army? Buffy comes up behind him. Buffy: That would be me. She knocks Spike onto his back on the island and keeps him pinned there by the throat. Buffy: Angel, why don't you come on in? He steps in, and Joyce begins to panic. Joyce: Oh! Oh, no! She walks around to the far side of the island. Buffy: You shouldn't have come back, Spike. Spike: I do what I please. Joyce: Okay, I-I'm confused again. Spike makes a grab for Buffy's arm. Angel takes Spike's arm, yanks it off of Buffy and pins it to the island. Buffy grabs a wooden stirring spoon and makes a move to stake him. Spike: Willow! Buffy: (stays her thrust) You took Willow. Spike: You do me now, you'll never find the little witch. Joyce: (confused) Willow's a witch? Buffy: And Xander? Spike: Him, too. Joyce: What, Xander's a witch? I... Angel grabs Spike by the coat and lifts him off of the island. Angel: Where are they? Spike: (shoves Angel off) Doesn't work like that, peaches. And when did you become all soul-having again? I thought you outgrew that. (to Buffy) Your friend's gonna work a little magic for me. She does my spell, I let them both go. Buffy: You're not famous for keeping your promises, Spike. Spike: Well, you and your great poof here wanna tag along, that's fine. But you get in my way, and you kill your friends. Cut to Oz's van. He speeds along the road to Breaker's Woods. Cordelia: What if they were kidnapped by Colombian drug lords? They could be cutting off Xander's ear right now! Or other parts. Oz sniffs the air and stops the van. Cordelia: Hello? Oz sniffs the air some more. Oz: It's Willow. She's nearby. Cordelia: What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume. Oz: She's afraid. He puts the van in reverse and backs up a bit. Cordelia: Oh, my God. Is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing. Oz: I really agree. He puts the van in drive and turns down a side street. Cut to an alleyway. Buffy, Angel and Spike come walking out. Spike: Look, I just need a few supplies, and then I'll take you to... (stops and grabs his head) Oh, God. Buffy: What's wrong? Not that I care. Spike: Oh... My head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. (bends over) Oh, God. I wish I was dead. Buffy: (pulls out a stake) Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard... Spike: (straightens up) Hey! Back off! Angel: (gets between them) Buffy, we still need him to find the others. Buffy: (lowers her stake) Need him? He's probably just got them locked up in the factory. Spike: Well, hey, how thick do you think I am? Buffy: Fine. Can we just get this over with? She starts down the road. Spike and Angel follow close behind. When they reach a corner, Spike has a flashback when he recognizes a bench. Spike: Oh, God. Angel: Now what? Spike: We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times. He steps over to the bench and sits on it. Spike: (chuckles) You know, he begged for mercy, and you know, that only made her bite harder. He looks to Buffy and Angel for a reaction, but they just stare back blankly. Buffy: I guess you had to be there. She continues on her way. Cut to the magic shop. Buffy kicks the door open and they walk in. There is yellow police tape stretched across the room, separating the counter and the shelves of merchandise from the entry area. Buffy: Your work? She yanks down the police tape and tosses it aside. Spike: Here's your list. (hands it to Buffy) Buffy: (reads) 'Essence of violet, cloves...' Angel? Angel: Right. (starts to look) Buffy: 'Set of runic tablets.' Spike can get the rat's eyes. She and Spike also start looking for ingredients. Spike: I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper. Buffy: Great. More moping. That's gonna get her back. Spike: The spell's gonna get her back. Angel: Lot of trouble for somebody who doesn't even care about you. Spike: Shut your gob! Angel: She really is just kind of fickle. Spike: SHUT UP! He runs at Angel, turns him around and punches him in the face. Angel grabs his arm in mid-swing before he can do it again. Buffy grabs him from behind, and between her and Angel, Spike gets thrown back, though he manages to keep his footing. Spike: (yells) What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with me. (sobs) I'm nothing without her. Buffy: That I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser. Spike: Yeah. You're one to talk. (goes back to looking for stuff) Buffy: Meaning? Spike: (faces them) The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave. (turns away) Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about. Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends. Angel: That's right. Spike: (faces them) You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. (points at his temple) Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... (clasps his chest) blood screaming inside you to work its will. Neither Buffy nor Angel want to hear this. Spike: I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it. He turns his attention back to finding Willow's ingredients. Buffy's eyes almost meet Angel's, but she quickly averts them. Spike spots what he's looking for. Spike: Hmm! (grabs the bottle) Eye of rat. Cut to the basement at Spike's factory. Willow is pounding against the door with her shoulder, letting out a good grunt each time. After several hits, she hears Xander moan below. She comes down to the bed to check on him. The side of his head is covered in dried blood. Willow: Xander? (sits on the bed) Are you okay? He tries to sit up. Xander: Dizzy. (winces) Kind of nauseous, too. Do I remember having a fight with Spike? Willow: You do. He feels the caked blood on the side of his face. Xander: I won, right? Kicked his ass? Willow: You were real brave. Do you need to barf? Xander: No, I'll be okay. (looks around) Where are we? Willow: The factory. We're locked in the basement. Xander: That burnt-out place in the middle of nowhere? So we're pretty much in a 'scream all you want' scenario. Willow: Pretty much. Xander: Why didn't he just kill us? Willow: He-he wants me to do a love spell. Xander: What? Willow: Drusilla broke up with him. Xander: Gee, and we had all hoped those crazy kids would make it work. Willow: He's out of control. I mean, not that he was Joe Restraint in the old days. Xander: (tries again to sit up) So what are our options? (winces) Willow: Well, I figure either... I refuse to do the spell and he kills us, or I do the spell and he kills us. Xander: Give me a third option. Willow: He's so drunk he forgets about us, and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one. Xander: Will, we're not gonna die. (tries to get up, Willow helps) If he's so drunk, he'll get sloppy, and then I'll make my move. (they collapse back onto the bed) As long as my move doesn't involve standing up or using my limbs, we'll be okay. Their fall put them very close to each other, and the temptation to kiss is strong. Willow: We're not supposed to. Xander: Exemption for impending death situation. Willow goes along with that, and they kiss. Xander reaches his arm around her as he lies back. She puts her arm around his shoulder to hold him close. Behind them Oz and Cordelia come down the stairs. Cordelia: Oh, God! Willow immediately rolls off of Xander, and they see them there. Xander: Oh, God. Willow: Oh, God, Oz... Oz: We have to get outta here. Cordelia is heartbroken, and runs up the stairs. Xander: (gets up) Cordy, I... When she gets just over half-way up, the charred stairs give beneath her running feet, and she falls into the space below, onto a rubble pile of old concrete and rebar. Forgetting his pain, Xander scrambles up the steps, followed closely by Oz and Willow. Xander: Cordelia! They look down at her through the gaping hole. Xander: Cordelia! She barely moves, just turning her head to look up through the hole above her. Cordelia: (whispers) I fell... The camera pans from her face over to her abdomen, where a long piece of rusty iron rebar is protruding from her left side, just under her rib cage. Cut to the street outside the magic shop. Spike, Buffy and Angel come out, each holding a bag of love spell ingredients. Buffy: Okay, Spike, we got the stuff. Where are they? Spike: What's your hurry? Buffy: My hurry is my intense desire to get you out of my life. You tend to cause trouble. Spike: I'll be out of your life in a few short hours. No trouble at all. Without any warning they find themselves confronted by one of Spike's former men. Lenny: Hello, Spike. They look around at the gang of vampires surrounding them. Buffy: No trouble at all. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The street in front of the magic shop. Buffy, Spike and Angel face off with Lenny and his gang. Spike: Lenny. How have you been? Lenny: Better since you left. You should have stayed gone. Spike: Is that right? (tosses his bag aside) Buffy: You know, he was just leaving. (to Spike) Don't you start anything. Spike: This pissant used to work for me. Buffy: (to Angel) The guys are in trouble. We can't risk this. Angel: Look, I don't think we have a choice. Lenny: You other two can walk away from this. Spike: (to Buffy) I die, your chums die. Buffy: (to Lenny) Sorry. We're staying. Lenny: Not for long! Buffy moves first off to her left. Angel reacts instantly and moves off to his right. Buffy throws her shopping bag at one vampire, catching him off guard, and does a front snap kick to his gut. He falls immediately. Another vampire rushes her, and she does a full spinning wheel kick to his face. A vampire swings at Angel, but he ducks it and punches him in the gut. Angel turns around and backhand punches another vampire in the face followed up with an elbow to his gut. A vampire front snap kicks Spike in the chest, sending him flying onto the hood of the car and landing hard on his back. Another vampire enters the fray wielding a length of pipe. He swings it down at Spike, but Spike rolls out of the way and onto his hands and feet, and hops up onto the roof of the car. A vampire gets a firm hold of Angel's sleeve and twists it around, forcing him to do a log roll to the ground. He uses his momentum to roll back up to a standing position. Another vampire lunges at Angel, but he grabs him and lifts him into the air, sending him head first into a nearby garbage can. Another vampire runs at Angel from behind, but he crouches down and sweep kicks him in the legs, making him trip and flip over into a diving shoulder roll. Another vamp joins Spike on the roof of the car, but Spike just punches him dead in the face, and he flies backward onto the hood and windshield of the car. A second vampire jumps onto the car and tries to get at Spike. A vampire tries to slam Buffy into a low wall, but she uses her momentum and his leverage to jump sideways over the wall into the outdoor table area of the Espresso Pump. She lands on a table on her back, rolls off and comes up in a standing position. A vampire inside the cafe' rushes her, and she does a full spinning hook kick, which connects with his stomach. A vampire swings at Spike, who is still on top of the car, but misses as Spike redirects the hit, pushes down on his shoulder and kicks him in the rear, causing him to fall onto the trunk of the car and slide off the back. Buffy side kicks a vampire in the neck, and he flies backwards into some chairs. A vampire comes straight for Spike. He sidesteps him and sticks his arm straight out, which the vampire runs right into, causing him to flip underneath the arm, land on the hood of the car and roll off. A vampire swings at Angel with a pipe, but misses. On the next swing, Angel grabs hold of the pipe and twists it around, wresting it from the vampire's grip and knocking him out cold. Angel spins halfway around and slams the end of the pipe into another vampire's crotch. The force of the blow lifts him from the ground. Angel drops the pipe and punches the vampire in the face, sending him spinning to the pavement. A vampire jumps over a chain into the cafe'. Buffy sees him coming, grabs a round metal table and swings it at him, smacking him hard in the face and knocking him to the floor. Buffy looks around for a weapon and spies a mop by the wall. She stomps on the base, breaking the mop head off and leaving her with a long wooden pole. As a vampire attacks again, she swings the pole at his stomach, and he falls to the floor. As the other one tries to get up again, Buffy slams the pole down onto his face, sending him back to the floor also. Spike has a vampire by both arms and twists him around, making him fall in a spin onto the roof of the car and then roll off onto the sidewalk. Behind him another vampire jumps up onto the hood of the car with a length of pipe. Buffy swings her pole at a vampire and gets him in the stomach. Spinning around to face another one, she slams the pole into his head and roundhouse kicks him in the side, sending him stumbling into a wall. A third vampire jumps in and tries to front snap kick her. His kick is too weak and she's able to block it with her pole. Then she thrusts it up into his neck and throws him to the wall as well. He lands against the other vampire, and Buffy shoves her makeshift stake through both of them. She lets go of the pole and runs out of the cafe' as they simultaneously explode into ashes. Angel has a firm grip on a vampire's collar and punches him hard in the face, sending him spinning wildly to the ground. They all notice that they are temporarily without opponents, and so regroup in front of the magic shop, but it doesn't take long for several members of the gang to surround them. Buffy makes a break for the shop's door while Angel and Spike slowly back in that direction as well. At the last instant they also run into the shop and slam the door closed as the gang of vampires gives chase. Once inside, Buffy heads behind the counter to see what she can find for a weapon. Spike and Angel grab one of the bookcases and slide it over against the front window. Behind the counter Buffy smashes the shopkeeper's chair, and picks up the legs to use as stakes. She comes back out from behind the counter and yells for the others to join her. Buffy: Go! She hands them each a chair leg, and the three of them make their stand, just waiting for the already teetering bookcase to give and the gang to storm into the shop. Spike: This should be a kick. Buffy: I violently dislike you. Suddenly the back door is kicked in, and a vampire comes in. Angel turns and attacks. The vampire lunges at him, but Angel ducks and gets underneath him, lifting him and sending him flying over his head and onto a table arrayed with books and candles. Two more vampires rush in and make their way toward Buffy. Angel slams the back door closed, and leans against it. Buffy push kicks the rolling ladder used to reach the upper shelves, and it smashes into the two vampires coming at her, knocking them to the floor. The first vampire is off of the table and tackles Spike into a wall of shelves filled with jars. Several of them break and Spike and the jars go crashing to the floor. Angel struggles to keep the door closed. One of the vampires who came after Buffy swings at her, but he misses as she steps behind the sliding ladder. He punches again, this time through the rungs, but she sidesteps it. Cut to the factory. Xander slowly climbs down into the hole to be with Cordelia. Willow: Be careful. Xander: Yeah. Willow: Don't move, Cordy! Oz went to get help! Xander gets through and drops himself down to the concrete below. Cut to the magic shop. Buffy grabs the arm that the vampire punched through the rungs of the ladder and holds onto it as she swings her stake home. She pulls it back out and lets go, and he bursts into ashes. She then turns her attention to her other attacker and roundhouse kicks him in the face as he's trying to get up. She grabs him by the shirt and shoves his head into a display case, breaking the glass, then yanks him up through the glass top as well. She pulls the dazed vampire around and shoves his head between the rungs of the ladder and push kicks it away. The back door is beginning to give, and so is the bookcase at the front window. Buffy: (to Angel) We need to get out of here! Angel: Can we get to the roof? Buffy scans the ceiling for a possible way out. Just then the back door finally gives. Angel is knocked to the floor, and the heavy door falls on top of him. Lenny steps on top of it, scans the room quickly and heads straight for Spike. Behind him another vampire runs in, and Buffy rushes to engage him. She roundhouse kicks him in the face and tries to follow up with a backhand punch. He blocks the hit and wraps his arm around hers and yanks her arm downward. She yanks back up and pulls her arm free, and punches him twice in the face. Angel lies dazed under the door. Lenny reaches Spike and immediately punches him hard in the face, making him jerk aside but not fall. Lenny: Yeah. I heard you'd gone soft. Sad to see it, man. Spike: (incredulous) Soft? Lenny: Yeah, like baby food. Behind Spike the vampire he'd been fighting gets up. Spike: (smiling) Well, then, let's give baby a taste. He does a back kick hitting the vampire behind him in the groin. Lenny tries to punch, but Spike ducks and punches him instead. Spike spins around and backhand punches the vampire behind him in the face, who falls immediately. He ducks another punch from Lenny, grabs onto his jacket, pulls him around roughly and smashes his face into the table. Buffy punches her vampire in the gut and high punches him in the face. While he's stunned, she grabs onto his head and yanks it around and down to her left side, flipping him over onto his back. She runs over to Angel, pushes the heavy door off of him and helps him up. Angel: I'm alright. Buffy: You're not up to your full strength yet. He sees the bookcase at the front window shake violently. Angel: That window's about to go. He spies what may be the answer. Angel: Buffy. On a shelf they see several dozen small bottles of Holy Water. Cut to Spike repeatedly smashing Lenny's head onto the table. Spike: Baby like his supper? Baby like his supper? He lifts Lenny and flips him over onto the table on his back. Spike: Why doesn't baby have a nap? He raises his stake high and plunges it violently into Lenny's chest. Lenny looks stunned as he bursts into ashes. Spike smiles with the thrill of the kill. Behind him Buffy yells out a warning. Buffy: Spike! Get down! He ducks to the floor as the bookcase at the front finally gives way and falls with a crash, along with plenty of broken window glass. Spike looks up to see the vampires storm the shop. They quickly realize their peril as Buffy and Angel begin throwing the bottles of Holy Water at them like grenades. They break when they hit, spraying the vampires and burning them. Spike catches some wayward drops and quickly pulls his coat over his face and stays down. The burning Holy Water soon has the attacking vampires making a hasty, screaming retreat. Spike stands back up and watches them run, letting out a breath of satisfaction. Spike: Now, that was fun. He faces Buffy and Angel only to get disbelieving looks. Spike: (smiling) Oh, don't tell me that wasn't fun. (chuckles) Oh, God! It's been so long since I had a decent spot of violence. (stops and considers) Really puts things in perspective. Angel bends over in pain and weakness, and Buffy moves to gently support him. Spike: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. You two. Just friends. No danger there. Buffy: Could we just do the damn spell now? Spike: Oh, sod the spell. (waves it off) Your friends are at the factory. Buffy and Angel can't believe their gullibility. Spike: (smiling) I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, (stands proud) the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. He walks past them toward the back door. Just before he goes out he turns back. Spike: (smiles thoughtfully) Love's a funny thing. He heads out the back. Cut to the factory. Cordelia moans as Xander gets down next to her. Xander: (very worried) Cordy... Please hold on. (strokes her hair) Cordelia: (weakly) Xander? (looks blankly) I can't see you... Her head rolls to the side and she exhales. Xander thinks her lost. Xander: Cordy! From above Willow sees Cordelia's body just lie seemingly lifeless. Cut to a cemetery. A funeral is being held, attended by about twenty- five people dressed in black. The camera pans down from above as the priest reads from his book. Priest: He created all things in order that they might exist. And the generative forces of this world are wholesome, and there is no destructive poison in them. For the dominion of Hades is not on Earth, for righteousness is immortal. The camera reaches the ground and focuses on Buffy and Willow walking along a street. Buffy: So Cordelia's gonna be okay? Willow: She lost a lot of blood. None of her vitals were punctured. Buffy: Has she talked to Xander yet? Willow: She wasn't allowed to have visitors at first. He's gonna see her today. Buffy: And Oz? Willow: I never knew there was anything inside me that could feel this bad. For the longest time, I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted everything. And now... I just... I just want him to talk to me again. Buffy: Just give it some time. And be prepared for some groveling. Willow: Oh, I'm ready. I'm all over groveling. Buffy: Good. Because, you know, I hear sometimes it works. Cut to Cordelia's hospital room. She is lying awake in bed, her head facing away from the door. Xander arrives holding a huge bouquet of flowers and knocks on the door. Xander: Can I come in? He gets no response, so he just comes in. Xander: They wouldn't let me see you until now. He lays the bouquet on the table where she can see them. Xander: Those are flowers. He sits in the chair next to her bed. She slowly turns her head to face him. Xander: Look, Cordy, I want you to know that I... Cordelia: (weakly) Xander? Xander: (hopefully) Yeah. Cordelia: Stay away from me. She turns her head back. Xander looks down at his lap, then gets up to go. At the door he looks back one final time, before heading down the hall. When he's gone, she begins to cry. Cut to Angel's mansion. He sits in the atrium waiting for Buffy to come visit. When he hears her footsteps he turns to see her step through the makeshift door and stop just inside the atrium. Angel: Hey. (stands up) I was wondering when you were coming. Buffy: I'm not coming back. Angel just looks at her. Buffy: We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. (shakes her head) Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go. Angel: I don't accept that. Buffy: You have to. Angel: How can... He takes a step toward her, and she backs away. Angel: There's gotta be some way we can still see each other. Buffy: There is: tell me that you don't love me. Knowing that saying those words would be a lie, Angel instead says nothing. After a long moment, Buffy turns and goes back into the mansion and leaves. Angel sits down on the edge of one of the flower beds, staring sadly out into space. Cut to Willow's room. She sits on the floor against her bed, her knees drawn up to her chest and her toes pointed inward, staring at her PEZ witch as she idly plays with it. Cut to the Bronze. Oz sits on one of the pool tables, his guitar in hand, but unable to play as he, too, stares sadly off into space. Cut to the library. Xander tries to make himself useful reshelving books. He takes an armful of them into the cage and sorts them onto the reshelving cart. He stops for a moment, leans against the cart and stares out into the room beyond the cage. Cut to Cordelia's hospital room. She lies still in her bed with her right hand against her temple, stroking herself there as she stares blankly at the ceiling. Cut to the quad at school. Buffy sits alone at a bench, looking sadly down at the ground as other students pass by. Cut to a highway out of town. Spike's car races by with Gary Oldman's version of "My Way" blaring on the radio. Cut inside. Spike rocks along and screams the lyrics as he smokes and defies the daylight, driving with only his blackened windows to protect him. Spike: I plan each charted course / Each little step along the highway / And more, much more than this Cut outside. The car speeds along the nearly empty highway. Spike: I did it my way	Plan: A: A lovelorn Spike; Q: Who kidnaps Willow? A: Spike; Q: Who kidnaps Willow to cast a love spell on Drusilla? A: James Marsters; Q: Who played Spike? A: Xander; Q: Who is wounded in the factory? A: a new plan; Q: What does Spike concoct while Willow and Xander are at the factory? A: their friends; Q: What do Buffy, Oz, Giles, and Cordelia hunt down? Summary: A lovelorn Spike ( James Marsters ) returns and kidnaps Willow to cast a love spell on Drusilla . Stashing Willow and a wounded Xander at the factory, Spike soon concocts a new plan while Buffy, Oz, Giles, and Cordelia hunt their friends down.
At the airport Craig: Waiting for someone? Manny: Nobody in particular. Craig: Oh. Manny: Just this guy. Tall, curly hair, pretty cute. Craig: Mm hmm. Yeah. He's like your boyfriend? Manny: Boyfriend? I don't know. I haven't seen him for months and he hardly ever calls. Craig: Wow. Guy sounds like a real jackass. Sure you want to keep seeing him? Manny: Like I said, he's pretty cute. (They kiss.) Manny: I missed you, you jerk. Craig: I know. I missed you too. It's so good to see you again. I just wish I could stay longer. Manny: Well I'm sure we can pack a lot into the next few days together. Craig: Sure. Totally. Let's go by uh Marco and Ellie's. They've got this welcome home party or something. At the party, Craig finishes playing a song Marco: That was awesome. Spinner: Did you write that? Craig: That one I wrote on a ferry to Vancouver Island. It's a long story. Ellie: I love the illusions to Melville. (Manny is shown glaring at them.) Craig: Wow you picked up on that? Ellie: The night's young. Let's hear another. Marco: Yeah man for sure. (Manny points to her watch, but Craig starts singing and Ellie bops her head.) Craig: (singing) I know you say you been a-passing by, but I just saw you drowning on a ship tonight- Outside the school Craig: We were supposed to run lines last night. I forgot. Manny: Well you were pretty busy. Everyone needs some Craig. Craig: Well I don't care about everybody. I care about you. So can I help? Manny: I don't know. Craig: Too late. (He grabs the script and they start rehearsing.) Craig: (reading) I just don't want you to get hurt. Manny: (acting) I already got hurt, remember? He left and he hasn't come back. Craig: Okay what if you tried angrier? Manny: Well that was my instinct, but I thought I couldn't pull it off. Craig: Of course you can. Just try it. Manny: (acting) He left and he hasn't come back! Craig: Don't ever doubt your instincts Manny. You're good. Manny: I got to go. Craig: I'll come with you. Manny: I'm sure you have more important music stuff you need to do. Craig: Well I got a sound check for a show tonight, but this is more important. Come on let's grab a cab. Manny: Across town? It'll cost a fortune. Craig: It's on me. Don't worry about it. In the hallway Mia: JT! Isabella's sick. They sent her home from daycare. I spent all night writing this "Waiting for Godot" presentation and now the period's half over. JT: It's too bad the daycare's so far, but I mean Kwan will give you an extension. Mia: Yeah she might if she hadn't have already given me two already. JT: Listen um, leave Isabella with me. I have a spare this morning. Mia: JT are you sure? I wouldn't usually do this, but it's not like there's any daycares near here I could bring her to. Man I wish there was one here, but might as well keep dreaming. JT: Seriously Mia. Go bend it like Beckett. We'll be great. Mia: You're not like any boy I know. JT: Well then you can make up to me. Hot date tonight at the Dot? (She nods yes.) JT: Good. Hey there. You know the best part about being sick? Popsicles! (Isabella smiles and Mia kisses her on the cheek while Liberty watches them.) Mia: Bye. JT: Alright! You like popsicles? At Marco and Ellie's Craig: Guys you are looking at a future acting legend. Manny just nailed her audition. Manny: Thanks to my acting guru Craig. Craig: Hey if you land that part, that's a big deal. West Drive is huge. Ellie: If you like earnest teen melodramas filled with woefully bad writing. Marco: Well hey no Saved By The Bell, huh? And speaking of which El, I think it's time we went to get our Screech on. Ellie: Yeah. (Marco and Ellie leave.) Craig: I wish I could have seen that audition. I bet you killed it. Manny: I just wish I could do it again so I can get more of this buzz. Craig: Man I live for that buzz. Sometimes when I'm on stage, I think it's my job to make them remember just one chord, one moment. Manny: That's exactly how I feel. Craig: That's why you're my girl. (They kiss.) At the Dot (Mia sits down and Liberty walks over to her.) Liberty: Mia you look pretty. Mia: Oh thanks. Do you want to sit down? JT hasn't come yet. Liberty: So where's Isabella? Mia: Uh she's at home with my mom. Liberty: She sure is cute. Charms everyone. Mia: Well except for when she's being a nightmare. Anyway how are you? You seem a little bit tense. Liberty: Oh uh just in a quiet mood, you know? Mia: Sure. It's not usually quiet enough in my head. Liberty: Yeah it's far too quiet in my life, although a child would change that. Mia: Like when you're a parent someday? Liberty: Oh uh no. I already am. Gave him up for adoption last year. Mia: Oh I...wow. I didn't know. Liberty: Yeah I don't usually talk about it much. After JT sold drugs to support us and almost committed suicide, I really had no choice, but to give him up. Mia: What?! Liberty: Oh he didn't tell you? Typical. (She goes back over to Toby and Mia leaves angry.) Toby: Ouch. Outside Mia's house (Mia walks out onto the balcony.) JT: Are you okay? How's Bella? I was so worried and then your cell wasn't on. Mia: Solution? Don't call. JT: Mia at least tell me what's wrong! Mia: You couldn't tell me the truth about your life? About your baby?! JT: Liberty talked to you? Mia: And you didn't. You stole drugs? JT: Look uh you don't know the whole story. Mia: I trusted you with my daughter. JT: And you still should. Okay Liberty and her parents gave up the baby and it still drives me crazy! Mia: Is the drug stuff true? JT: Prescription, but Liberty didn't want to stay at home so we had to get some extra cash. Mia: Liberty's not the problem here, JT. You are. (She goes inside angry.) At Craig's show Manny: He must be so excited. I bet he's going to be so great tonight. Emma: He's music personified, ya di da. I know. Manny: But Em we so completely get each other. It's so good. Sean: A couple days ago you were pretty down on the guy. What changed? Manny: We just reconnected. I can't explain it Sean. It's magic. (Manny sees that Ellie's there.) Manny: Oh great. She's here. Craig's shadow. Emma: You worry too much about her. Manny: Well not tonight. Tonight no one can bring me down. Not even smelly mcsnooty pants. Backstage, Manny opens the door Manny: Special delivery. I have that Manuela Santos for you. (She sees Craig snorting cocaine.) Craig: Hey! I'm so happy to see you. Some guy: Alright man you're up. Craig: Aren't you going to say anything? Manny: Break a leg...I guess. (He leaves and Manny stares at the drugs on the table.) On stage, Craig is performing Craig: (Singing) I fly too close to the sun. I chase the whale on the run, but I am...I'm jumping from mountains and I'm jumping from skies. Trying to realize my size. Emma: Are you okay? You were a bouncing love bunny ten minutes ago. What's going on? Manny: I can't see. I'm gonna move up. Craig: (Singing) What you say when we...what you feel when you see. Drowning in the sea. Drowning close to me. (He finishes and everyone claps for him.) Craig: Thank you. Marco: Hey Craig. Hey! That was awesome man. Congratulations. Craig: Yeah? Thanks man. Ellie: You're a genius. Craig: Stop it. Ellie: Is that why you were asking about drowning allegories last month? (He hugs Ellie.) Craig: You caught it! Again. Man I can't get anything past you Ellie. You're so, you're so keyed into what I'm doing. Ellie: Well it was perfect, especially that melancholy key. Listen I'm gonna do a profile on you for the Core. (Manny starts to leave, but Craig goes after her.) Craig: Hang on El. Manny are you okay? We didn't get a chance to talk and it was so great that you came backstage and not for a second did I want you to think that I do that. Manny: It's fine. I just have spirit squad at the crack of dawn. Craig: I couldn't stand it if you were upset. I could see your eyes shining the whole time I played. Manny: You were incredible. Go get congratulated. Craig: Okay. (He leaves and Emma and Sean walk over to Manny.) Outside the school JT: Hey we need to talk. Mia: You should have thought about that weeks ago. JT: Mia I'm sorry. I should have told you the whole truth, but I just was scared you'd bail on me. Mia: You know I'm not judgemental. JT: I know. That's one of the things that I love about you. You just, you need to forgive me. Please? Mia: Look I can't do this right now. I'm tired and I'm stressed. Isabella's sick again. I had to leave her with my aunt. JT: I've been thinking. I think that there should be a daycare at Degrassi. Mia: And I should be Lindsay Lohan. JT: No I'm serious. You said yourself it was a good idea. I really think that's what the school needs. Mia: And this isn't about you trying to suck up to me? JT: No. It's about me doing the right thing and I'm gonna do it. In the hallway Emma: The pout is officially out of fashion, so speak. What's up? Manny: West Drive went in another direction, which probably means they cast some tall blonde with long legs. Emma: West Drive, Smest Drive. That show is so issue of the week. Manny: I have my own issue of the week. Craig, he's not the same. Emma: Seems like the same old rock star to me, just more sure of himself. Manny: Yeah that's the problem. Emma: Ego? Groupies? Is this an Ellie thing? Manny: No it's definitely Craig. Emma: Well I'll tell you what I've learned. If you want the guy, you take the flaws. See Cameron, Sean. Manny: This is a different problem than you had with Sean. Way. Emma: Well Craig is crazy about you and your shining eyes, remember? Manny: Maybe I need to remind him. Emma: True love is worth fighting for. At Marco and Ellie's Craig: Hey. Manny: I need to say some stuff. Craig: Say away. Manny: Last night with the- (She makes a motion around her nose.) Craig: You said it didn't bother you. Manny: I lied. Craig it does. Why? Why do you do it? Craig: When I get nervous, it's like my synapses have a party. I need a little confidence boost sometimes. Manny: How often is sometimes? Craig: Please I've done it like twice. It's no big deal, believe me. (He kisses her.) Manny: I didn't get the part on West Drive. Craig: Oh man. Their loss. You're a star. Listen uh Ellie's having a dinner party tonight and I want you to come. Manny: If Ellie sees me here, she'll probably poison the food. Craig: Manny you've got to get over her. Manny: She makes me feel dumb when I speak. I'm not smart like she is. Craig: Yeah you are. You're just not book smart. Who cares? Seriously you're, you're brilliant in every other way. Manny: So comforted right now. Craig: Manny I'm crazy about you. That should be all the comfort you need. [SCENE_BREAK] At a student council meeting Liberty: Fine. A donation will be made in Degrassi's name and uh council will now hear new business. JT: I propose that Degrassi should have an onsite daycare. Benefits will be plentiful for both staff and students with children, as well- Liberty: That's preposterous. Next. JT: Wait a minute. I haven't even finished my pitch. Liberty: You don't have to. I already know it's foolish and ill-conceived. What about buildings codes JT? What about child height counters, facilities, a playground?! JT: Come on. Toby? Help me out. Toby: Um maybe you should let him finish his pitch. (Liberty glares at him.) Toby: Or not. Liberty: Next! Moving on. JT: Wait just hear me out. Our community can benefit from this. Liberty: You mean your girlfriend can. JT: Yeah and? Liberty: And so this isn't practical for Degrassi. Especially since the daycare wouldn't even open for two years. Look this is personal, not serious. Next! JT: Is this Earth? You're the one making it personal. It's a good idea. Liberty: We don't take pitches from irresponsible slackers with ill-researched schemes. JT: I guess not since judgemental robots make the decisions. A Degrassi daycare could make life easier for students. Liberty: For one student! Mia: Liberty you of all people know I'm not alone. It could help eventually. JT: So just to clarify here, the reason you won't support a Degrassi daycare is purely selfish. Is that right Ms. President? (Liberty storms away angry.) At Ellie, Marco and Dylan's Jesse: Well Rousseau did say man's choices are limited. Man is born free, but everywhere he's in chains. Ellie: Only true if he's part of society. Craig: Yeah well you can't not be though. It's not exactly optional. Manny: So true. So true. Ellie: Manny you studied Rousseau? Manny: Um not exactly. Craig: He was, uh he was a big 18th century thinker. Ellie sent me one of his books when I was on the road. Manny: How nice. Marco: Well uh Ellie and I have been taking intro to psych and uh Jung says that we all have like massive complexes. Jesse: No kidding. Neuroses rule! Craig: Manny what do you think? Manny: Um someone told me that Woody Allen was a perfect onscreen neurotic. Dylan: Uh huh. Ellie: Well I don't have any neuroses, of course. Manny: Really? Because I thought being constantly rejected by guys would mess you up Ellie. Ellie: Yeah. Yeah I feel bad that I take time to meet guys who actually like me. Dylan: Oh dear. Ellie: In fact I don't know how I made it through high school without having my breasts shown online. (Manny leaves the table and Craig follows as Jesse tries not to laugh.) Craig: Where are you going? Manny: Did you hear what she said? Craig: Yeah, but you started it. I mean why can't you just get over her? Manny: Because she's smarter than me. She's funnier than me. She's everything that I'm not. Craig: Keep believing it Manny. It's real attractive. Manny: They won't let me into their little club. Craig: Manny you're spontaneous, you're bright and you're my girl. Why can't you just be yourself? Manny: Maybe I just need a little boost. Where is it? Craig: What are you talking about? (She searches for the coke and pulls it out of his pocket.) Craig: Woah. Manny: Show me. Craig: What? No. Why? Manny: 'Cause then I can talk with all your smart friends. These are people you want to spend time with, right? Craig: Come on. Manny: This is your club. I want in. (They go upstairs to do the coke.) At the table, Manny and Craig are high Manny: (Talking incredibly fast) Anyways it doesn't really matter if I get the part because it, all that matters is how I present myself in the long term. That's what my agent says. Marco: Yeah. Yeah no. I mean you have to get them to remember you? Manny: Yeah because who wants to be yet another dumb, boring actress? Right Ellie? Anyways I told her just cast me as the funny girl, you know? I said that to her! Craig: It's smart. You have to get noticed, right? Manny: I love you so much Craig! (Manny hugs Craig and spills her drink all over the floor.) Manny: Oh my god. Get it- (Her and Craig are laughing hysterically while Marco tries to clean the mess up.) Marco: Manny it's really fine. Manny: I am so sorry. I am so sorry. (They keep laughing as Ellie rolls her eyes.) Outside the school JT: Liberty what the hell was that yesterday? You dismissed everything I said. Very professional and then you bailed. Liberty: You don't even know what words like that mean, man-child. JT: What was irresponsible? Supporting you? Begging you to go to the doctors? Backing you when you gave him up, even though he was my son too? Liberty: You don't know what you're saying. JT: What I'm saying is that I'm happy and that makes you burn. Why? Liberty: You're ridiculous. JT: No I'm right. Okay I have a right to be happy so stop trying to make me as miserable as you are. At Marco, Ellie and Dylan's (Manny rushes down the stairs.) Ellie: Good morning. Manny: I'm late! Ellie: And so much less chatty than you were last night. Shocking. (Ellie goes upstairs to give Craig a cup of coffee.) Ellie: Coffee? It was a late night. Craig: Yeah thanks. (Ellie starts to leave when she sees the coke.) Ellie: Is...what is this? (She picks up the coke.) Craig: El I don't know how this happened. Ellie: What happened? What's going on? Craig: I never thought it would get bad so fast. Ellie: Craig are you doing coke? Craig: Manny is.	Plan: A: Craig; Q: Who returns to town for a music festival? A: no time; Q: How much time does Craig waste in reuniting with Manny? A: the rock star lifestyle; Q: What lifestyle does Craig embrace? A: an upset Liberty; Q: Who decides to tell Mia the truth about J.T.? Summary: Craig returns to town for a music festival and wastes no time in reuniting with Manny but, as Craig further embraces the rock star lifestyle, Manny has to decide whether the new Craig is the guy she really loves. Meanwhile, an upset Liberty decides to tell Mia the truth about J.T.
[Liberty Avenue. Mikes talksvoice-over.] Michael: "I walked on Liberty Avenue I don't knowhow many times checking out the guys and join their viewand who are proud them?" [Mikey sheepishly walking, glaring at the pants of othermen. But as he walks, every guy looks like Ben. He's Benfor a moment, and then not Ben again.] Michael: "It wasn't until I meet him. Are I'm goincrazy?" [Cut to the a fency restaurant. Apiano's playin'. In the shadows we see Harry Benick, Jrsinging.] Michael: "I'm just feeling a little vulnerable,that's all since Ben and I broke up. But I'll be oversoon enough since 'Pittsburgh: Man-to-Man'" [Michael's first date - Barry, late twenties. Of coursefat and stuffing food into his mouth.] Barry: Hi, this is Barry. I'm in late twenties. I loveeat out. I would said I'm a well-rounded guy. Can youpass the butter? [Michael's second date is Marcus. A insurance salesman.] Marcus: Hi guys, I'm Marcus. A motivated businessprofessional with clearly defined goals. When you'reready to a longterm commitment, call me. I'll be thoughabout life insurance. [Michael's third date.] Ed: Hey, I'm Ed. Great body and great personality.Looking to pamper that special someone. [He's showing Michael a pampers. Michael tilts back hisdrink with an audible gulp.] [Liberty Diner. Michael and Tedare siting at the counter.] Michael: He wanted to diamper me. Ted: Aaah, poor baby. What did you expect from a thirtysecond voice personal? Michael: Honest. I didn't lie into my ad. [Debbie comes. She starts laughing at her son.] Debbie: Much. Michael: You called and listen to my ad? Debbie: It's a free country. "Hey, it's Mike. Cute.Swimmer build. Boy-next-door type. [Mikey tries to leave, but Ted brings him back so theycan continue the speech.] Ted: Sounds good. Debbie: You also added a couple of extra inches. To hisheight. But I was very pleased to hear that you areversatile, and not a total bottom. Ted: Oh, sounds even better! Debbie: Can I be interjected just one word of motherlyadvice? Michael: Interject away. Debbie: You're never get a boyfriend from voice mail. Ifyou're really, really meet somebody go and see my friend. Ted: Ida Pearlsteam, matchmaker. I could make a lot oftrite musical theatre references right now. But I won't. Michael: You're friends are freaks, ma. I'm not gonna setup by someone the enter. Debbie: Michael, see those lovebirds over there? Idafixed them up. They celebrating their third! Don't theylook happy? Ted: Or heavily medicated? Now, I say try 'Adam and SteveInternet Date'. "See what you're getting before youget it." "Weed out the unfuckables." Michael: Dating services? Matchmakers? That's allbullshit. The next guy that walked through that door isthe man I'm gonna live with the rest of my life. [All three looking very excited to the door. Emmett walksthrough the door.] Emmett: Oh Michael, here you are. Rent check due today,sweety. [He grabs the newspaper from Ted.] [Brian's loft. Brian dresses on.The newest trick comes out of the bedroom.] Guy: Up for another go-round? Brian: Things are tight. Guy: When can I see you again? Brian: Strong policy. No guarantee. No return. Guy: Then I just take what I can get. [He tries to kiss Brian.] Brian: No good then. Guy: Let me guess. A boyfriend? [Brian opens the door.]Huh, I though so. I was in those arragnment ones. Theproblem is you leave you're door open and you never knowswho's coming in or out. Brian: You mind taking the stairs? Guy: Cutting it a little close, aren't you? [Justinand his mom arrive in the elevator just as the trickdisappears down the stairs.] Justin: Hey. Jen: We're here! Brian: And not a moment too soon. Jen: You can't believe what sales we have it. [Justin kisses Brian at the mouth. Finally he smiles.] Brian: Looks like you picked up a few things. Justin: You too. Jen: I just sold the house! So, I decided to splurge andbuy my son some new clothes. [Justin leaps over the couch and pulls a condom wrapperfrom behind the cushions.] Justin: I'm the way too old shopping with my mother. Brian: Not unless she's payin'. I hope you remember tobuy him some rubbers. [Justin inspects the sheets. Justin finds a pair ofunderwear.] Brian: For those rainy days. [Justin hides the underwear behind his back as his motherholds up a sweater for him to inspect.] Jen: Hey look, you can wear this to Daphne's party. Justin: I'm not going to the hetero hop with a bunch ofbeer-chugging breeders. Jen: Justin! You've gotta get out there and meet friendsyour own age. [to Brian] Nothing personal. Brian: Oh no, I agree. Youth should be savored. [Justin's sniffing something he found on the floor.] Jen: I will not be damage you, but believe me before thatI did some pity wild thing. [Justin throws the cum cloth at Brian's head as Jenniferducks down to get more clothing.] Brian: That must run in the family. Jen: OK, I gonna pick up you're sister. [She wraps her arm around Justin's waist.] Jen: Sweetheart. College is going to be the best time ofyour whole life. I just... I so excited for you. Justin: So am I. Bye. [He brings Jen to the door. He closes the door. They kissand fall back on the couch.] Justin: How was he? Brian: Not bad. Justin: What did he look like? Brian: Guess. [Justin starts sniffing Brian's neck.] Justin: 5'11''. [He sniffs Brian's stomach.] Justin: Medium build, black hair, brown eyes. Smolderinggood looks. Brian: That's very good. Justin: What did you doin'? You fcked him, he suckedyou? Tell me. Brian: Why are I show you? [Emmett is in full army gear,jacking off on his rotating cushion bed. Emmett continuesthe G.I. Fetch thing up.] Emmett: Up to soldier! Bombs away! Ready...Aim...Fire! [Ted watches mouth agape as Emmett orgasms for quite sometime. Emmett falls exhausted as Ted applauds.] Ted: Bravo! Fetch Dixon do another stunning display ofmen power. Emmett: I better expect to give it my all. I have areputation to uphold. Ted: And judging from all your cards and letters theyloved what you uphold it! [Ted carries over a box of goodies. Emmett squeals withdelight as he sits down.] Emmett: "Dear Fetch. I'm sending you this as a tokenof my affection. Please think of me when you usedit." [It's a big black dildo with a rainbow ribbon tied aroundit.] Emmett: "Dear Fetch. Could you wear this to the gym,then pop it back into the Self-Addressed StampedEnvelope." Wait, wait, wait. [He pulls out a tiny box from Tiffany's. It's a big goldbracelet. Big and chunky. It looks like a gold snake.] Emmett: Oh my god, Teddy look! It's exquisite! Ted: It must have cost a fortune! Emmett: Here is a card. "You're a beacon of light inthe sort of gloom of cyberspace. You're secretadmirer." [Emmett is breathless and near tears.] Emmett: All my life I wanted a secret admirer. Here, hereup me. Put it on. Ted: You're not gonna keep it. Emmett: It's gold! What kind of queen doesn't acceptgold? Ted: One who's loyal subjects send him giant dildos and asniffin' jockstraps. There lunatics, Emmett. If you letthem into your life they think their you're friends. Andthey never expect you to be there. And you'll never berid of them. So, c'mon! Emmett: It's so shiny and pretty. Ted: Take it off. [Emmett throws a tiny tantrum.] Emmett: I don't want to. Ted: Emmett! [Ted takes the bracelet and walks off with the box ofpresents.] Ted: Remember, everything in this life comes with stringsattached. Even little white satin ones. I'm sorry. [Ted leaves the room. Emmett walks back over to theTiffany's box and removes the bracelet and card.] [Mikey's making a videotapepersonals ad. He's over-enthusiastic and pretty muchMikey, but the videographer isn't pleased with hisperformance.] Videographer: OK, and we're roling. Michael: Hi I'm Mike. I'm just a fun guy and I'd love tomeet another fun guys. So call me and we're looking forsome fun. Videographer: Uh, let's try again, but this time let'shave a little less "fun". Michael: Less fun... Hey dude, it's Mike. I'm into goodtimes, good friends. You know the good life. Call me. Isthat better? Videographer: For a beer commercial. But let's try itagain and this time just try to be more... I don'tknow... personal. Michael: I never knew my father. He was killed in Vietnamtwo weeks after I was born. But I somehow managed tosurvive. I dropped the community college and I went towork at the Big Q Mart. That's when my Uncle Vicdelivered that he's dyin' at HIV. Videographer: Thanks for sharing, but, uh, looking for adate, not a therapist. So, we've got time for one more.Come more positives spin on it. Michael: Hi, I'm Michael, I'm twenty-nine, honest,sincere, romantic, my own business. I like working out,dancing, going to clubs. I had a great group of friends,I love them to death, but I'm still looking for a certainsomeone... [The videographer turns into Ben.] Ben: Who knows that underneath my mild-manneredappearance beats the heart of a superhero. [It's over. Mikeystop talking.] Videographer: I'm sorry. What was that? [Emmett is staring at prettyjewelry through a jewelry store window. He eats some kindof pastry and has his Breakfast at Tiffany's moment untilDebbie showing off her own bracelets.] Debbie: I swear you can't tell the difference. [Emmett shows off his new gold thing.] Emmett: As long as we're comparing. Debbie: Holy sh1t. Is that real gold? Emmett: Almost broke a teeth by testing. My secretadmirer send it to me. Debbie: Who do you think it is? Emmett: I know who I like it to be. Dashing the princetoo shy to reveal he has a crush on me. Then he appearsand whisks me off to his palace. Debbie: Were you live happily ever after. Emmett: I know it's highely unrealistic. My friends wouldprobably laugh when they heard me. Debbie: What do they know about love, honey? Most of themare too busy chasing their heart instead of still listento their heart. Emmett: Still I have this dream of perfection. But I'mkeep on lookin'. Hoping against hope that I'll find it. Debbie: Well it's a adorabel dream. But I got to tell youEmmett. In most cases that come along in the movies. Andeven then only to Audrey Hudburn. Real love when it comesdoesn't look anything like what you expect. [A limo pulls up behind them. The driver gets out.] Driver: Pardon me. Emmett: Yes? Driver: You're Fetch, are you not? Emmett: That's right. Drive: I've been send to fetch you. Emmett: Excuse me, you... you epect me to get into a carwith a total stranger and... and drive off God knowswhere? Sorry, but my mother taught me better. Debbie: Don't look at me, I'm not his mother. Driver: My employer is expecting you. Emmett: And who exactly is you're employer? Debbie: He knows he just say, that he not the liberty tosay. Driver: I'm not liberty to say. Debbie: Whaddaya gotta do the rest of the day, wash outyer undies? [He give his things to Debbie and goes to the Limo.] [Brian's loft. Mikey is showingoff his videotaped personal ad to Ted, Brian, Lindsay,and Mel.] Michael: "Hi, I'm Michael, I'm twenty-nine, honest,sincere, romantic, my own business. I like working out,dancing, going to clubs. I had a great group of friends,I love them to death, but I'm still looking for a certainsomeone. If you're looking for some fun, call me.."Well? Mel: You have an excellent posture. Ted: Nice shirt. Lindsay: You're absolutely adorable. Brian: It's pathetic. Michael: At least someone is being honest. Asshole. Itwas a complete waste time and money. Brian: Listen Mikey, you have to sale yourself. You'renot different toothpaste or shampoo. People want sexy andthey want hot. Ted: You're right. I think I'll reheat that pizza. Michael: So what I'm supposed to do? Brian: Don't move. [Cue the sexy montage! Brian takes pictures of Mike usingsome strange videocamera/flash camera. Mike is lookingvery unsexy in a wrinkled white t-shirt and jeans. The girls are onthe computer rewriting Mikey's personals ad.] Lindsay: Let's see. "Nice guy..." Mel: Make that hot on it. Lindsay: "Well-rounded." Brian: Make that well-hung. Lindsay: "With a spirit affection." Ted: He like to give it. Michael: You can't say that. Brian: Shut up and show us your skin. [Mikey shoves his hand in his pants for a few of thepictures. He takes off his shirt. He shoves his hand inhis pants and holds the other hand toward the camera.Brian is flirting with the camera, most likely because hecan see the reflection of his own eye in the window. Thescene slows to a crawl as Mikey looks terrified of theapproaching water bottle. Brian dumps water over Mike'shead so Mikey can shake like a puppy. More pictures aretaken.] Brian: That's the one. [All together they're looking at the computer.] Michael: I would date me. Ted: So do I. You're ready to speaking. Lindsay: That's not exactly that what I wrote. Brian: Writers. Complaining every time you change afucking word. Mel: You'll be beat'em that off with a stick. Ted: Hopefully he don't need a stick. Brian: So how does it feel, Mikey to be the hottest guyon the Internet? [Emmett is eating caviar in theback of the limo, talking to himself.] Emmett: Well in the modern retailing it would be a limo.Delivered food, would be a driver. And Cinderella wouldof course be a fag rather than a woman since noself-respecting woman would let her in the back of astranger's car lured by jewelry, limo and caviar. ThankGod. [Emmett stops and stares out the limo window. The houseis indeed a castle.] Emmett: Oh my God! [Emmettis led through the mansion.] Emmett: I would tell I'm not in Texas anymore. In factwe're don't be in Pittsburgh anymore. Man: Fetch. [A man calls from the top of the stairs. The lightingchanges. Emmett swoons. It's an older man in a nice suit.He's good looking.] Emmett: It's him. You're majesty. You're grace. Yourgorgeousness. I receive your bracelet and I'm your's. Man: I'm the butler, sir. [The swelling music stops.] Emmett: Oh. Man: This way. [Emmettis led to a drawing room and left alone.] Emmett: Oh my god! # If They Could See Me Now. # No,no, don't give up. This is much more Masterpiece Theatre.Oh, I'm be honest. "How kind of you to invite me. Ilove what you've done with your place. Do we go to thefire? I love the light. I always wanted to ask you isHarvey your first name or the last?" [Emmett does a little improve of being rich and importantuntil he sees someone sitting in a chair by the fire.Emmett jumps, squeals.] Emmett: Jesus Christ. You're scared me to death. I didn'tknow that anybody was here. I'm Fetch and waiting for themaster. George: I'm George Schickle. I am the master. Emmett: You...? George: I see you received my little present. Emmett: Oh, yeah. George: I was on the Internet one day and surfing, Ibelieve this is the word, when I came upon you. Oh my,my, my. You're very talented boy. Emmett: How a boy! George: In my age everybody is a boy. Now then, should wediscuss your fee? Emmett: Fee? George: For your... services. I have no idea what peoplehave charged, so how will a thousand surface? Emmett: A...a thousand? George: Alright, two. Alright, three. You're drive a hardbargain. So what did better? Be hard? Emmett: Excuse me, Mr.Schickle. But I'm afraid you made amistake. I am not what you think I am a hire. I came hereexpecting... well not important why I came here andexpecting. Exept I didn't find it. Thank you for the giftand for allowing me a few moments to dream. Now if you'llexcuse me. [Emmett leaves the bracelet and leaves the mansion.] [Brian and Justin are in theshower. They kiss and clean, kiss and clean. Justinsmiles under the harsh lighting.] Justin: You want me to fck you? Brian: I want you to wash my back. [Justin washes Brian's back.] Justin: Better to move on. The guys are waiting on us. Brian: You know, maybe you get should some friends onyour age. Justin: You sound like my mother. Brian: Sometimes your mommy's right. Justin: I have friends on my own age. Your at my age,emotionally. Brian: I mean like Daphne. Justin: I'm not goin to their party. Brian: Why? You had something better to do? Justin: Be with you. Brian: Your always be with me. You practically are. Justin: What if I meet some horny frat boy? Brian: fck him for me. Hey, I just want to enjoy youryouth. I certainly have. [Mike checks his personalsemail.] Michael: Nineteen guys already. Ted: He's not bad. Michael: He's even better. Ted: Oh my god. Michael: He's perfect. Ted: And he wants to meet you tonight. Michael: I've gotta get Brian some credit. He can sellanything. Even me. [Emmett walks in.] Michael: Hey Emmy, you want to see my dreamdate? Emmett: fck off. Ted: Who pissed on your parade? Emmett: My secret admirer. Ted: You didn't. I though we'd agreed that it wasn't areally great idea. Emmett: I know, but his chaffeur pick me up. Michael: You did it with his chaffeur? Emmett: No, his chaffeur drove me to his place. It waslike the Buckingham Palace. Ted: So who is this guy anyway? Emmett: George Schickle. Ted: Schickle's Pickles? Michael: Pickle that people prefer? Emmett: Well, he can keep his pickle. It's like threehundred years old. Ted: They say it's worth a fortune! Emmett: But unfortunately for him he finally foundsomething that even his money can't buy - namely me. Michael: He thinks you're a...? Emmett: Hustler. Can you imagine? Ted: Unbelievable (!) Michael: The nerve (!) Emmett: I told him, I'm an artist. What I do requiresconcentration, dedication, determination... Ted: Don't forget the jackolation. Emmett: Take my word - it's a lot harder that it looks.And if you're watching, Mr.Schickle. What you see isdefinately not what you get! [Daphne's party. A lot of beers,cigarettes, and letterman jackets. Heavy guitar rockpumps through the smokey room as dudes bob their heads ina most excellent fashion. There are street signs just allover the floor. Justin is miserable. He recoils in horrorfrom some girl checking him out. Daphne's got prettyhair. Daphne's boyfriend smokes a joint.] Daphne: Uh, Justin, have you a good time? Justin: I can't you tell (!) Daphne: When I can deal in Woody's you can stay withthem. Justin: That's the problem. No-one to handle. [He puts his beer down on a staircase and walks off. Heinstantly sees another gay boy with the same forlorn lookon his face. They check each other out. Justin smiles,walks over, and puts his hand on the boy's crotch.] [Theboys walk into a bedroom and take off their clothes. ] Boy: Wait. We're have to be safe. Justin: Don't worry. I've prepare. [Justin pulls out a condom and opens it with his teeth.] Justin: Pull on my dick. Boy: Just uh...go slowly ok? I've never... Justin: I think so. I'll take it easy. [They have sx.] [SCENE_BREAK] [Emmett's watching pouty television with his pouty TV tray. Michael stands beside the couch.] Michael: I thought you were going out! Emmett: Mr. Betty Hut film festival. Michael: My date is coming over. Emmett: So? Michael: He looks very hot. And if we're gonna fck right here on the floor? Emmett: I promised not to leave any crumbs. Most of those guys don't even use their own photos. And besides they are thirty years ago. Michael: Don't be so cynical! Emmett: And don't be surprised when you open the door and it's some old geezer. Michael: 'Cause you'd had a bad experience don't mean that everyone's out to get whatever they want by whatever means they can. There still some honest people in the world. [He opens the door to see Mr. Schickle. Mikey slams thedoor in the man's face.] Michael: You're right, they are a lie! It's like a three hundred year old guy in a red cardigan. Emmett: I believe that ones for me. [Emmett goes to the door.] Emmett: Mr.Schickle, I do not appreciate bein' stalked.So kind move yourself from my doorway, my building, my street and my life. George: Please, let me finish. I gone through a lot of trouble to find you. Emmett: Quite unnecessary, I assure. George: No, no. I was... I was horrifying when I realize that I've made such a... really serious miscalculations. Emmett: A miscalculation is when you can't balance you rcheck book. This was an... George: Insult. I realise that. So I have come here tooffer you my apologizes and uh, and this. [he has thegolden bracelet.] Because I would still it have. Emmett: I don't accept giftes from fans. George: Then have diner with me. Emmett: Sorry, I can't. George: Please. Please? It would be a small, neverthelessheartfelt expression of my deepest regret. I havetreating you in such a rude and reprehensible matter. Emmett: I don't think you have handle that -reprehensible. Alright, go. Bring back the car ride,Prince Charming, I get my slippers. [Emmett sees Michael's date at the door. He's cute in that brown-hair- square-jaw way.] Guy: Excuse me, I'm looking for Michael? Emmett: My god, you're really are a dream. Michael!You're dates here! Only seconds ago, when I was still available. [He goes. Michael walks in.] Michael: Well, come in. Guy: Thanks. Both: So... Michael: I thoughed we have pizza and a movie? Guy: Or tax make and dancing? Michael: We can stay here and fck our brains out. Guy: That one. Michael: You're negative? Guy: [nodds] You? [Michael nodds. Michael slams the door. Both undressthereselves.] [The Party. Justin lights acigarette and then lowers his sweaty naked body back downon all of the coats that belong to strangers. He handsthe cigarette to the boy.] Guy: So uh, what was your's like? Your first time? Justin: Mmmh, I saw him right like you. Guy: Are your scared? Justin: [laughs] Shitless. We went back to his place. Iswear I couldn't speak my name. And then he fcked methen. I still remember the feel when he inside of me. Isee his face when he came. Guy: I know what you mean. [Outside, some girl bangs on the door.] Girl: We need our clothes! Justin: fck OFF! God, I hate this stupid party! Guy: Me, too. Justin: I wouldn't come, but if I didn't my friend Daphnewould never speak a word to me again. Guy: And I was standing at the corner and watch the"dudes" and "babes" and wish I wouldstay home and watched MTV. Justin: Why don't you go to clubs and bars. You meet alots of guys there. Guy: I don't want to meet a lots of guys. I wanna meetjust one I would be with. Just the two of us. Justin: Yeah, things don't exactly were got that way. Guy: It can be, if you want. [The girls knocking again.] Guy: I guess better be dressed. Girl: Come on. Hurry up! Justin: Come back here. [Justin breaks Rule #1 by kissing the boy. He then breaksRule #2 by lowering him back to the bed for round two.] [Emmett and Schickle are eatingBurger Queen in the back of the limo.] Emmett: Mmmh, I Love Burger Queen. You know for me whatmakes for me a royal treat? It's that the only patty withthe special one it's the Pickles. George: I relish the compliment. And their are mine, youknow. Emmett: I'm a Pickle fan from way back. My great auntLula, who live in Mississippi she's the make them. I goover there every day after school, sit out back and graband suck on those pickles things. It's more a significantstage of my later psychosexual development for I careinto. [George laughs loudly.] George: You have a really colourful family. Emmett: I prefer to think they're lunatics. SuferingLula, she's to great one. Their my only friends of therest of them. I have nothing to do with local sissy boy. George: It must to be very lonely. Emmett: Mmmh, didn't stop me from be as I really wanna tobe. "fck 'em all" - that was my motto. Stillis. George: I admire your courage. I wish I had it. Instead Ichoosed to live a lie cut my freedom, my desires to thefamily fortune. I even allowed them to marry me of thismeat-packing heiress so that we could just make somebeautiful sandwiches together. All it was a perfectmurder. Until one day five years ago she came home caughtme get the gardener a blowjob right there in the pricerose garden. Emmett: Why, George, you're lake. French fries? George: Well this wasn't. I looks like I was cheating onher. We're haven't have sx since 1972. So she sue thefamily and the children against me. Needless to say Ibecame a social avoider. Emmett: At least you're finally free to be yourself. George: Well, to be alone, friendless, so I want win thechampionship over the internet. fck'em all. [Michaels place. The date has sexwith Mike.] Michael: You are perfect. Guy: I know. I wasn't always. I used to weigh 350, wasbold and hideous, coarse body hair all of my back, myshoulder, my stomach. Michael: Really? Guy: I started with labor section. Any serious operationstype my skin the next. Replace the hair model. After thismy skell protection, nose job, cheeking chimmin plants. Michael: That must be expensive. Guy: Oh, my folks have money. Now I work as a trainerright off five hours a day, six days a week. It's brutal,but I gotta maintain and foot combinal can veryimportant. You can eat proteins or corps, but never nevernever eat proteins and corps. Michael: [eating ice cream] Got it. Will you margain ice? Guy: Have you listening? You know, you cut put a littleimproving yourself. Your little hair moves on your chest.Pec implants, the burgians are definitely too wide andit's nothing personal but you might be consider a peanoextention. Michael: Thanks for the tip. [Next morning. Brian arrives hometo find Justin sleeping. He puts his hand under the sheetand wakes Justin up.] Brian: You're finally up. Justin: What time is it? Brian: It's time to take for your morning hard on. Ofcourse it's afternoon. Somebody got home late last night. Justin: 2.58 AM. Just under the line. Brian: And Daphne must have some kick ass party. Justin: Yeah, it was alright. [Brian sniffs under the sheet.] Brian: My nose tells me it was better than all right. Ismell the evil crossplayer. Justin: Nah, the way up. Brian: Hold on. [He sniffs again.] Brian: Mmmh, it's coming. A nice tight computer nerd. Justin: Get warmer. Brian: [sniffs again] A scent of innocient. A virgin. Justin: A lucky guess. [Brian kisses Justin.] Brian: You kissed him. Justin: I got to take a shower. [Michael at the diner with Meland Linds.] Michael: His face was great, his body was great, the sexwas great. And then he start talking! Mel: So let me this get straight. You had sx undatebefore you even had a conversation? Michael: You wouldn't understand. Lindsay: What's that? Michael: Because sx is different for men than it is forwomen. It's more immediate, more intense. At least soit's ever went. Lindsay: Where? In field in stream? Mel: Just for your information - Linds and I fcked likecrazy. We pant and drul like a couple of bitches in heatare pussies is soak the sheets. Lindsay: So we go out a lot longer in time that you guyscause this. Mel: And I donno how many times we come that night. Michael: You're right, I don't. Mom! [Mikey turns and clutches his mother. He whimpers intoher stomach. Mel and Lindsay laugh.] Debbie: What's the matter? Something scares you? Lindsay: Just us. Mel: I think Michael had a bad day. Debbie: I told you to call Ida for Christ sakes. She's afuckin' genius! Michael: I'll end up with a Jewish princess. Lindsay: You could end up with a lot worse. [Mel and Linds kisses. Mikey whimpers again as his motherstrokes his head.] [The gym. Brian is liftingweights hardcore as Ted spots him.] Ted: Easy. You had a lot on there. Brian: I had to tighed up. Ted: You had an eighteen-year old home, what do you worryabout? Emmett: Keep it him. It's a shame you can enjoy yourgolden years without worrying about every fag, everytwinkle. Ted: I guess that's happening when you're dating so many,many years, you junior. Emmett: Yeah, I don't envy your youth. Brian: Yeah, you don't have to since your dating someonewhos one hundred and three. Emmett: I'm not dating him. We shared a burger. Brian: Hey! He can have solids! Emmett: You know, George may not twenty-nine or have aperfect chin or thirty inch waist, but he's a lot nicerthan a certain arrogant, contempioniss, self-delidedasshole that I know. Ted: Don't tell me, you wanna see him again! Emmett: No, when we're said good night we're also saygoodbye. Ted: You think he actually liked him? Brian: Some guys rent a prime aged cock. Ted: Better hope Justin is. [Mikey shows up at Ida's house.Ida is a middle-aged man who dresses like an old Jewishwoman.] Ida: So you're Michael. You're mother all about raiseyou. Michael: You too. So, are you a PFLAG mom or...? Ida: Actually I'm a PFLAG son. Have some bond. Relax.It's not like you date me. Now, what are you looking for? Michael: He should be tall, polar built just likesuperman. Ida: We all know your boys want beauties - that's agiven. Michael: You ask me what I want it. Ida: We're not talking about the outside. Michael,sweetheart, what do you want on the inside! Michael: I...I don't know. Ida: Sure you do. Just close your eyes. Think. Michael: [closes his eyes] He's got a passionate aboutlife, a survivor, maintime this humor. He's charming,kind. He does something creative, maybe a writer. He'sinto the spiritual stuff, like Buddha. And he focuses onliving in the now, because there is no time to waste.When I'll be with him I feel like a better person. [Ida looks through the box, chooses one name, nixes itand chooses another.] Ida: Here he is. A lime light, Liberty Avenue eighto'clock. Michael: Shouldn't I see a fotograph to know how he lookslike? Ida: You don't need one, trust me. You'll know. [Diner. Justin's boy toy shows upand looks around. He sees Debbie and turn around.] Debbie: Honey! Just start breathing and take a seat. I'llbe right there. Boy: Actually, I'm looking for somebody. Debbie: In this charge who is it? Boy: Justin! Debbie: A friend of yours? Justin: Do you mind if I take a break? Debbie: Take all the time you need. As long as your backin 5 minutes. [They'regoin' outside.] Justin: What are you doin'? Boy: I've been thinking about you since last night. Ireally missed you. Justin: You don't even know me. Boy: Sure I do and... you know me too. Justin: Look, I don't want you to come here, ok? Boy: Why not? Justin: Cause I said so. Boy: Yeah, but after what happen I though... Justin: Nothing's happen, we fcked. That's all. Boy: That's not all. I love you. Justin: [smills] You don't love me. Boy: And from the way you kissed me I can tell that wehave this connection... Justin: You know how pathetic you are?! One lousy fuckand you carry on like a lovesick fairy. You've got a lotto learn. Fags will say anything to get their dick suckedand fck a nice ass. Then it's on to the next. Boy: I don't believe you! I know what I felt. Justin: Yeah, but I'll don't feel anything. As far as I'mconcered you're yesterday's fck! [The boy runs off in tears.] [Schickle's mansion. The garden.George works in the garden. Emmett comes up with a gift.] Emmett: Shouldn't you do the gardner do that? George: The gardner's good for something. It's a newgardener. [Emmett laughs.] George: But these needs special care. [Emmett crouch beside George.] Emmett: Who would think that this little thing like thiscan contain something so beautiful. At least my motherwas a gardener. Once I plant a little bulb. I thoughedwhen it comes spring it would be a chandelier. Dump, huh? George: Charming, nevertheless. Emmett: Oh, I want to thank you for the diner. I broughedus some lunch. George: You really must love Burger Queen. Emmett: Fags want some Schickles. George: That's very thoughtful of you, Fetch. Emmett: Actually, my real name isn't Fetch. It's, uh,it's Emmett. George: Nice to meet you, Emmett. [Both sitting on the ground and open the bag.] George: Why not, right here! [Fancy restaurant with pianoagain. Mikey walks in.] Michael: [Voice over] "The surving question numberone - 'How am I recognize my date when I'm never seenhim?' The surving question number two - 'Why do I listento my mothers?'" [Sitting at one of the booths is Ben. The real Ben.] Michael: [v-o] "sh1t! Ben's here! This time I'm nothallucinating. It's really his. Starving question numberthree - 'How I'm supposed to...impressed my date...?'fck! Ben is my date. I'm assure he actually fixed me upwith... Oh god, he's looking at me. What will I do? Whatwill I do?" [He goes to Ben's table and he's sitting down.] Ben: Michael? Michael: Ben, what a surprise. Ben: Yeah, a small world. Michael: Isn't it? Ida was right when she said, that Iknew how it was. Ben: Who? Michael: Ida. The matchmaker. Who else I am suppose toknew? Ben: Uh, about what? Michael: You and me. Ben: Yeah, I'm sorry. Michael: Are you here for a date? Ben: Yeah, yeah, I am but... but not with you. [Another guy comes to the table. Michael leaves thetable.] [Babylon. Brian and Justin watcheverything from the catwalk. Music: Lio #Rature.] # Sugar,you make my soul complete Rapture tastes so sweet la la la... Brian: So many men, so little body hair. Justin: See any you like? Brian: Him. Justin: I guess. Brian: You? Justin: Him. Brian: He's kinda young. Let's go for it. Justin: Or we could go home. Just the two of us. Brian: What about the game? Justin: fck the game. [Brian pulls Justin in for a kiss. They make out as thecamera leaves them and the techno music turns to thepiano. Fade to black.]	Plan: A: Michael; Q: Who tries to forget Ben by re-entering the dating scene? A: Justin; Q: Who has an encounter with a boy closer to his age than Brian? A: Emmett; Q: Who is surprised when he meets his secret admirer? Summary: Michael tries to forget Ben by re-entering the dating scene. Justin has an encounter with a boy closer to his age than Brian. Emmett is surprised when he meets his secret admirer - very surprised.
Act One RECIPE FOR DISASTER Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Niles is setting the table for dinner. The doorbell sounds before Daphne answers it. Martin, weighed down with hunting gear, is revealed. Daphne: Hey! Martin: [grumbling] Thanks, Daph. Niles: He-hey, Dad! Eddie runs to him. Martin: Hey, boy. You missed me, huh? Daphne: So, how was your trip, Mr. Crane? Martin: Oh, the hunting was awful. I didn't bag a damned thing. [hangs up his coat] Duke and I sat there for two days just waiting for something to happen. It's like when Frasier took me to see "Nicholas Nickleby." Thank God this time I had a gun! Niles: Dinner is almost ready. Shall I set you a place or would it make you feel better to go out and shoot your own eggplant? Martin sits down before Frasier enters through the front door, looking characteristically annoyed and bewildered at Martin's hunting gear, which are laid on the floor. Frasier: Dad, what have I told you about bivouacking in the entrance way? Martin: I'm sorry. Frasier: Well, how was your hunting trip? Martin: Oh, came home empty-handed. Frasier: Oh, dear. I guess that means for the next several weeks we'll hear you grouse about the grouse and carp about the carp. [laughs at his own joke as he carries Martin's bags over to the hallway] Niles: You've been working on that, haven't you? Frasier: Well, there was traffic! Frasier exits to Martin's room with the bags in tow. A ping is then heard from the kitchen. Niles: Oh, Daphne - I have to take the roast out of the oven. I need the recipe for the glaze. Could you get it? It's in my briefcase; in the "Burnt Sienna" colored folder. Daphne: No problem. Niles exits to the kitchen. She looks at Martin. Martin: Brown. But don't tell anyone I know that. Daphne follows his instructions. Frasier re-enters. Frasier: Dad - sorry to hear your trip was a bust. Martin: Oh, it's all right, it wasn't so bad. You know, the worst day of hunting still beats the best day of working. Frasier: You don't work either! Daphne, holding the folder, walks downstage. Something seems to take her attention. Martin: You don't think it's work talking to you? Duke, on the other hand, is a lot of fun. You know he can fit twenty- seven marshmallows into his mouth at one time. A cricket is heard distinctly from within the apartment. Daphne and Frasier look around. Frasier: What was that? Martin: What was what? The cricket sounds again. Frasier flinches. Frasier: That! That's a cricket. Martin: How did that get in here? Frasier: It must have stowed away in your gear; get rid of it! Martin: Oh, don't worry - Eddie'll take care of it. Terriers are born hunters. [puts him down] Go get him, boy. Eddie responds to Martin's orders by chasing his tail round and round and round and... Reset to: Kitchen Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Niles has taken the roast out of the oven. Daphne enters looking rather uneasy, evidently from reading his files. Daphne: So.... This woman is in love with you. Niles: [concentrating on the roast] What? Daphne: Heather Murphy. Says right here she's obsessed with you. Niles: [realizing] Oh, wrong file - you're not supposed to look at that. Daphne: Yeah, I can see why. And when were you planning on telling me about this? Niles: [out of pure honesty] Em, never. [taking the files] These are session notes, they're confidential. Daphne: But she is in love with you? Niles: First of all I can't discuss the woman in this file... which, by the way, is clearly umber and not "Burnt Sienna!" I can tell you that it's very common for patients to displace feelings they have for someone else onto their psychiatrist. It's called transference. So even if a patient thinks she might be in love with me, she really isn't. And usually those feelings disappear as therapy progresses. Okay? Daphne: Okay. Pause. Daphne: So how did she tell you? Did she come on to you? Did she try and kiss you? Niles: I can't tell you. Daphne: All right. I understand. Your little secret. Niles waves his hands apologetically. Daphne: Just blink. Once for yes and twice for no. Frasier enters in search of the dreaded cricket. Martin enters with him. Frasier: I think it's coming from in here. Niles: What? Frasier: Dad has brought home a cricket! Niles: [genuine fear] A cricket?! Get behind me, Daphne. Frasier sees something on the floor. Frasier: Everybody freeze! Don't-move-a-muscle. Frasier, with small gestures, points to its position of the floor. Suddenly he makes his move. He stamps. Everyone holds their breath. Frasier removes his foot before proudly announcing... Frasier: Well, I hope that cricket saw what I just did to this toasted almond! Frasier exits as the rest peer over the squashed nut. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Café Nervosa. Frasier, munching away at a scone, is whining to Roz about the cricket. They are sat at a front table. Frasier: I tell you, Roz, it was the worst night of my life. Just as I begin to doze off, the damned cricket would start strigilating again. Honestly, have you any idea what it's like to be awaken intermittently throughout an entire night?! Roz: I have a three-year-old, I can't remember the last time I slept through a night. Frasier: Yes, of course, but this constant chirping and chirping, over and over - really, you can't imagine it. Roz: Really? Did the cricket crawl into bed with you? Did the cricket throw up on you? Frasier: Gee, I wish I had a three-year-old so I could win every argument! Daphne enters the café and greets Frasier and Roz. Roz: Hey, Daphne. Daphne: Hey, Roz. Frasier: Oh, hi, Daph. Daphne: Dr. Crane. [sits with them] Oh, that scone looks good. Frasier: Yes, well, it's all right. They call it "Nervosa Berry," but I'm convinced it's just yesterday's banana. I have half a mind to have a discussion with someone about it. Daphne: [agreeable] You should. [here's the reason why] So what do you know about transference? Frasier: Hm? Oh, more than most. Daphne: Is it true that patients can actually fall in love with their therapists? Frasier: Oh, yes, yes, as a matter of fact it's quite common. You see, in a therapeutic setting a doctor's empathy can be misconstrued as romantic interest, especially when the patient is of a particularly vulnerable nature. Daphne: But therapists never return those feelings, right? Frasier: [contemplating, perhaps with Diane in mind] Well, they're not supposed to. But it does happen. Eh, well, I mean, think about it, really, it's... we are human. Transference can be very, very powerful. I remember back in my days of private practice, uh, I did have my share of female adulation. Roz: Oh my God, were you able to cure them? Frasier: [gives her a look] I'm not a miracle worker, Roz! Roz smells the scone - evidently wishing to get rid of him for a while. Roz: Do you smell bananas? Frasier: I knew it! You smell it too! [to a passing waiter] Excuse me. This day-old scone is fooling no-one. [the waiter passes, Frasier stands in anger] Don't you walk away from me. Don't you dare walk away from me. Frasier chases the waiter offstage into the kitchen. Roz: Okay, so who is she? Daphne: Who's who? Roz: Niles' patient? Daphne: All right. I saw one of his files by mistake. The woman is madly in love with him. Roz: So who is she? Daphne: Her name is Heather Murphy. Roz: Heather, huh? That's trouble. What else do you know? Daphne: That's it. I only got a quick look at the files. Roz: So what are you going to do? Daphne: Nothing. Niles said he can't talk about his patients. So, what choice do I have? I should trust him. Roz: If I found out some babe was after my guy I would have to know everything about her. What she looks like, her profession, what she's being treated for. Daphne: Yeah, I don't think that's relevant. Roz: What if she's a s*x addict? Daphne: You can be treated for that? Roz: [cynical] So they say. [SCENE_BREAK] CLASH OF THE TITANS Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment. The cricket is heard. When the scene fades in, Frasier is battering the kitchen worktops with a fly swatter. Frasier: [unsuccessful] Damn it! Martin enters, evidently used to his hunt madness by now. Martin: Oh, geez, are you still at it? Why don't you go in your room? You won't even hear the thing if you close the door. Frasier: Close my door?! And just concede defeat. I know, here's a better idea: I'll just move out and let him have the run of the place! That's good, I'll have two apartments; One for me, one for my cricket! [off Martin's look] I tried closing my door, I can still hear it. It sounds again. Frasier: Dear God, can't you make him shut up?! Martin: That prayer doesn't get answered around here! They enter the living room. Frasier: This is your fault! You're the one who brought him here. Martin: [sits] What's the big deal? If you were paying a ton of money to stay in some country inn, you'd be loving the sound of crickets. Frasier: Yes, well, I love a babbling brook too, but it doesn't mean I want one surging through my condo! I'm calling an exterminator. Martin: No, you can't do that! The chemicals are too dangerous for Eddie. Frasier: All right, fine. You have twenty-four hours to get that intruder out of here or I'm calling, Eddie or no Eddie! Once again, the cricket makes his noise. Frasier: [looking around the room, incensed] It taunts me! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Four - Niles' Bedroom at the Montana. Daphne is sitting up in bed wearing a black teddy whilst Niles is getting undressed. She still has worry written on her face. Daphne: So, how was your day? Niles: Fine. Thank you. Daphne: Why don't you tell me about it? Niles: What do you mean? Daphne: You know, couples come home, they talk about their day. Why don't you ever want to share? Niles: Well, I-I... suppose I'm not used to it. He sits down on the bed while taking off his shoes. Niles: Maris always needed silence to cope with her chronic migraines, Mel couldn't talk because she'd be wearing the moulds from her teeth bleaching kit. Daphne: Well, I'm interested. Why don't you tell me something about your day? Niles: Okay. Let me think. [suddenly, excited] I saw the best pair of driving gloves! Daphne: [less interested than him] That's good. Anything else? Niles: I had a cob salad for lunch. [beat] You're right, that was fun. [stands] Okay, I'm going to go; brush my teeth. I'll be right back. Niles exits to his en-suite bathroom. Daphne: [still anxious] Okay. Daphne turns on the television to take her mind off of the situation. Mary Hart is presenting "Entertainment Tonight." A Julia Roberts press photo can be seen. Hart: Julia Roberts just signed on for twenty million dollars to play a woman who falls in love with her psychiatrist. Of course, she gets him in the end. Sound familiar, Daphne? Julia Roberts's photo is exchanged for one of Daphne, who gapes at the television. [N.B. The photo used was an old press photo of Jane Leeves from season five.] Hart: Look in the briefcase, I know I would. And now let's hear the details... Daphne, realizing her subconscious at work, quickly turns off the television. She stares longingly at Niles' briefcase, but reaches for a magazine instead. She opens the magazine just to find a picture of a briefcase and the words "JUST OPEN IT" stamped underneath it. She closes the magazine with confusion. She cannot resist any longer. Daphne gets out of bed, walks to the briefcase and begins to open it. However, she is interrupted by Niles re-entering wearing his dressing gown. Daphne quickly turns around and sighs. Daphne: Oh, thank God. Niles: [looks up] What? [smiles] Daphne: [covering] I missed you. Niles: Mmm. I missed you too. They kiss and hug. Something vibrates at his waist. Niles: Oh, my beeper's going off. Daphne: [seductive] Well, let's see what we can do about that. Niles: It could be an emergency. Niles takes the beeper out of his pocket and reads the note. Daphne: Who is it? Niles: [pulls out of the hug] Ooh, uh, it's a patient. Daphne: That woman? Niles: I really can't talk about it. Daphne, I'm sorry, I may be a while. He exits to the hallway. Daphne goes to the briefcase and slowly opens it. She checks that Niles is well out of sight before she removes the documents and takes them onto her lap. She reads with frightened interest. End of Act One Act Two Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. The following day, Frasier has been trying to have a nap on the sofa as Martin awakens him. He is holding a shoe-box. Frasier: I was trying to. I'm attempting to re-arrange my schedule. Apparently, His Royal Chirpy-ness is nocturnal, so I have to be as well. Martin: Well, I've got the answer to the problem right here in this box. [lays it down on the table] Frasier: What, we couldn't squash him with the shoes we already own? Martin: [taking jacket off] Not shoes. Eddie's vet told me to get a gecko. It's a cricket-predator. You know, like you get lady- bugs to eat aphids, if somebody would let me grow tomatoes on the terrace! Frasier: Dad, I told you, it's a condo board regulation: no fruiting plants. Martin: Whatever. Anyway, just give me a half-an-hour and I'll have that pesky cricket out of the kitchen and inside this gecko. Frasier: I see. So we set a lizard loose to catch the cricket? Martin: Mmm-hmm. Frasier: Then what? [Martin looks confused] We get an owl to eat the gecko?! Then we get a tiger to eat the owl? [pause] What eats the tiger, Dad, tell me that! Martin: An alligator, for one, smart guy! But that's not going to happen and you know why? Because we'll put a little harness on the gecko so it doesn't run away. Frasier: [sarcastic] Oh, this just gets better and better. Martin goes over to the small table outside the kitchen. He searches in the drawer. Martin: I thought I had some twine here. Frasier: Well, I used it to stabilize a veal shank. Why don't you just make a little harness out of, uh... the dental floss. Martin: Hey, that's not bad! Frasier: I wasn't serious... not my cinnamon waxed! But it's too late and Martin's left. [SCENE_BREAK] WHICH FLOOR IS THE "OTHER WOMAN" DEPARTMENT? Scene Two - Heather Murphy's Office Building. Roz and Daphne are riding the elevator to Heather's floor. Daphne: I've changed my mind, I can't go through with this. Roz stops her from pressing the buttons. Roz: You have to, Daphne. You know you're not going to sleep until you see what this Heather looks like. Daphne: I thought I'd feel better once I'd got a look at her file, instead I feel worse. She's successful, well travelled, well educated, what if she's gorgeous too? Roz: Daphne, you've got this all built up in your head. Once you see her, you'll know what you're up against. Daphne: I suppose. But what if we get caught? Roz: We lie. Daphne: I'm a terrible liar. Roz: Listen up. Lying is all about confidence. As long as you're confident, people will believe anything you tell them. Daphne: Are you sure? Roz: Frasier thinks I'm at the copy machine right now! Daphne looks gobsmacked as the door opens. Roz enters, confidently, and goes towards the assistant. Daphne follows nervously. Roz: Excuse me, we're looking for Heather Murphy. Assistant: This is her office. And you are? Roz: Her two 'o clock! Assistant: [checks computer] I don't have anything on the books. Roz: This is unbelievable. [to Daphne] Make a note: Re-evaluate all scheduling procedures, C.C. all department heads. Assistant: Heather'll be back in five minutes if you want to wait. Roz: Oh, we'll wait. In the meantime, two coffees, cream with sugar, think you can handle that?! Assistant: [scared] Yes. Roz: We'll be in her office. Let's go. Roz exits to Heather's office. Daphne simply cannot move, she simply stands behind looking fearful at the assistant. Roz: [shouts in a style we'll now call Lana-esque] NOW! Daphne and the assistant both jump off their feet. She enters the office whilst he runs to the coffee machine. Daphne: You know, I think coffee might make me more nervous. Roz: We're not going to drink it. I'm just trying to buy some time so that we can look around. She's got to be in one of these pictures somewhere. They pick up a photo on her desk. Daphne: There's a lot of people there. Which one do you suppose she is? Roz: [referring to a woman who has just appeared at the entrance to the office] I think it's the one who looks like her. Heather Murphy walks over to them. Heather: Excuse me, can I help you? Roz: We flew in from corporate for a meeting which the geniuses in your department managed to screw up. I don't know what kind of monkey business is going on around here, but we are this close to shutting this entire branch down. Heather: How could you fly in from corporate? Corporate's downstairs! Roz suddenly loses her confidence and flees from the office back to the elevator. Heather: I'm calling security. Who are you? Daphne: Who am I? [with growing dignity and confidence] Who am I? Roz: [Lana-esque] JUST RUN! She does - past a very confused assistant carrying two coffees. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Three - Frasier's Kitchen. That evening, Frasier and Martin are sat on the kitchen stools. Frasier is wearing an oven mitt for protection, while Martin is holding a trail of dental floss connected to a gecko on the floor. So, business as usual then... Frasier: It's asleep, Dad. Martin: No, it's not. Frasier: Really, he hasn't twitched his tail for two minutes. Martin: That's because he's lulling him into a false sense of security. The most dangerous part of a gecko is its mind. Long Pause. Frasier: What-are-you-talking-about? A gecko's brain is, like, this big. [holds his thumb and fore finger apart by less than an inch] Martin: Yeah, but a cricket's brain is only this big. [holds his thumb and forefinger touching each other] Frasier: All right, fine. Where were we? Martin: [thinks a moment, then] Ann Margaret. Frasier: You cannot just blurt out "Ann Margaret" like that. I'm sorry, we can only take ten women to Love Island, all right? We have to put a little thought into this. I'll tell you who makes my list: that dark haired temptress who works at the bookstore. Martin: [smiling] Lisa. Frasier: You know her name? Martin: Are you kidding? Frasier: All this time you've been going down there, I... I thought you belonged to some kind of book club. Martin: Oh, there's a club all right! You know, she got a belly ring last week. Frasier: [off in a fantasy] That's fantastic! Martin: [stands] Here, hold onto this for a minute, will ya, while I grab a beer? Frasier: Sure. Frasier takes control of the dental floss as Martin moves to the refrigerator. Suddenly, the floss springs taut. Frasier: Ooh, Dad, Dad! He's making his move, I can feel him! Martin: Oh, all right, give him a little play! Frasier: [reels out the thread] Right, I am doing... Martin: A little more- Frasier: Right. Martin: A little more- Frasier: Right. The cricket makes its noise. Then suddenly it is ceased by the sound of crunching. Martin: He got him! Reel him in! Not too fast now, not too fast, you don't want to tug at it. Frasier: I can't believe this worked. That was amazing! [picks up the gecko with his protected hand] Martin: Oh great work, buddy. Frasier: Thanks, Dad. Martin: I meant the gecko. Frasier: Yes, yes, of course. [to gecko] Good job, well done. [places him back into the box] Martin: Will you be using this floss anymore? Frasier: [gives him a look] I think we'll just let him keep it, all right? Martin: Okay. Frasier: There we go. In you go, little man. Congratulations. [puts the lid on] Well, that's it. Martin: Yeah. Cricket's dead. Frasier: Gosh, even though I am savoring the newfound silence, I, uh, sort of miss the excitement of the hunt. Martin: Yeah, well, all right. Martin begins to exit. Frasier: You know, Dad... [Martin returns] Were you aware that the male cricket chirps in order to attract the female cricket? Martin: Wow... and that cricket was doing an awful lot of chirping. Frasier: Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Martin: There might be another cricket. Frasier: There might be more than one. I'd hate to go to bed and then have to get up again. Martin: Probably we should just play it safe. Frasier: Release the gecko. Martin: Yes! Frasier puts on the oven mitt again as Martin re-opens the box - both content with their newfound excitement. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Four - Niles' Office. Niles is doing some reading as Daphne knocks on his door. Niles: Well, this is an unexpected treat. Daphne: Niles, I have something to tell you. Niles: Is it that I'm the sexiest man you've ever known? Daphne: No. [beat] I mean yes you are, yes, but that's not why I'm here. Niles: Is something wrong? Daphne: Well sort of. [carefully] It's about Heather Murphy. Niles: Daphne, I've told you. I cannot talk about my patients. Daphne: You don't have to. I found out by myself. Niles: [thoughtful pause] Did you look in my briefcase? Daphne nods. She is on the brink of tears. Niles: [angry] You read her file?! Daphne: I know, I know, it's bad. Niles goes to the door and closes it for some privacy. He raises his voice. He feels passionate about his work. Niles: Those files are confidential. How could you? Daphne: Look, before you get going, you should probably know... Niles: No, there is no excuse. That is the worse thing you could have done! Daphne: You would think so. Amazed and disgusted, Niles slowly turns around and stares at her. Niles: What else did you do? Daphne: I went down to her office to see what she looks like. Well, she never found out who I was or why I was there - I know it doesn't make it okay. But I was just so worried and I had to find out who she was, and [in tears] I'm so sorry, I feel so ashamed! [cries] It was all Roz's idea! Niles is speechless. He sits in his chair. Daphne: Look, I know you're angry, but Niles, please, say something. Niles: Anger doesn't begin to describe it. Daphne: Niles... Niles: You have violated this person's privacy. If she found out, I... they could suspend my license. Daphne: I am so sorry. Niles: And you don't trust me. How could you possibly think there could be somebody else? Daphne: Because I was somebody else. Niles: What? Daphne: You were married to two other women while you claimed to be in love with me. Now that we're together how can I be sure, really sure, that there won't ever be another "somebody else"? Niles: Because I would never... He pauses, realizing he has been through this before - and perhaps that he has not yet asked himself this question. Niles: Because this time it's different. Our love is different. It's not based on somebody's expectations or... or anything I'm supposed to be. When I was with Maris, or with Mel, I found myself thinking about you. Going about my day or even when I was in a session, I found myself thinking about you. Well, now we're together. I find myself thinking about you. It's not going to stop. Daphne, emotional, hugs Niles dearly. Niles: I'm still mad at you. Daphne: I know. [SCENE_BREAK] In Frasier's kitchen, Martin and Frasier are attempting the "marshmallow challenge." They seem to be having fun - even though the cricket hunt seems to have been forgotten. Unnoticed by them, the floss thread now runs from their hands down to the floor and into Eddie's mouth. The killer instinct has finally shone through.	Plan: A: a recipe; Q: What was Daphne looking for in Niles' briefcase? A: Niles; Q: Who is Heather in love with? A: Daphne; Q: Who accidentally opens a file containing case notes for one of Niles' patients? A: psychiatric patients; Q: What type of patients is transference common among? A: any specific case; Q: What does Niles refuse to discuss? A: curiosity; Q: What is Daphne tormented by? A: Roz; Q: Who encourages Daphne to find out more about Heather? A: her work; Q: Where does Daphne visit Heather? A: his entire career; Q: What could a breach of confidentiality jeopardize if it were known? A: Martin; Q: Who suggests using a gecko as a predator? A: a fruitless hunting trip; Q: What did Martin return from? A: Frasier; Q: Who is horrified to discover that Martin has brought a cricket into the apartment? A: dangerous chemicals; Q: What does Martin want to avoid using to get rid of the cricket? A: Eddie; Q: Who does Martin want to avoid using chemicals on? A: floss; Q: What does Martin use to lure the gecko back? A: The plan; Q: What works and the gecko eats the cricket? A: the gecko; Q: What animal did Martin use to catch the cricket? A: a mate; Q: What was the cricket attracting? Summary: While looking for a recipe in Niles' briefcase for him, Daphne mistakenly opens a file containing case notes for one of his patients. She discovers that this woman, Heather, is in love with Niles. He explains that transference is common among psychiatric patients, but also insists that he cannot discuss any specific case. Daphne, however, is tormented by curiosity, and Roz encourages her to find out more about this woman, even going so far to visit her at her work. This involves another visit into Niles' briefcase, entailing a breach of confidentiality that could jeopardise his entire career if it were known. Martin returns from a fruitless hunting trip, and Frasier is horrified to discover that he has unknowingly brought a cricket with him into the apartment. They cannot catch it, but they can always hear it. Anxious to avoid any solution involving dangerous chemicals, for Eddie's sake, Martin suggests using a gecko as a predator, using floss to pull it back once the hunt is done. The plan works and the gecko eats the cricket, though Frasier and Martin work out that the way it was chirping, it was attracting a mate, and there may be another.
Ted (2030): Children, during a warm evening in March 2010, the New York police rescued a 34 year old man from the Hudson River... your Uncle Barney. Barney is sitting on a bench, a blanket on the back. Police: Okay, big guy, tell me all along. Barney: It all started a week ago. Flashback Barney is at McLaren's. Barney: I spent time at a local bar. Entered... a lady. Woman: Nothing is sexier than a man wearing a nice tie. Barney: Aside from a woman who appreciates a nice tie. Woman: But this is merely a tie. End flashback Barney: It was not my best tie. Police: Right. Barney: So, right after that, I took her home. Flashback Barney is at home with the woman he met at the bar. Woman: When I'm in bed with a man, my body becomes a machine fueled by desire, greed and a hunger to satisfy every single... the carnal desires of my lover. Barney: Fortunately, the cleaning lady comes tomorrow. Woman: Good night. Barney: What? Wait, what? I thought your body would become a machine fueled by desire, greed and a hunger only to satisfy my every carnal desires. She leaves the apartment of Barney. End flashback GENERIC Don, Robin, Marshall and Lily are at McLaren's. Robin: I really think Don and I found our rhythm to work. Don: Thanks to this young woman to my left. This report on how rodent avoided in the subway... Robin: The answer might surprise you. It's all rodents. Don: I gotta go, okay? See you soon. Marshall: Nice to meet you. Don: I do too. Don leaves the bar. Marshall: This guy is awesome. It's funny, smart, beautiful. You have him to nab it before someone else. Robin: I hope you do not talk to you. Lily: It's been 4 months since you broke up with Barney. It's time to get back on the market. Marshall: Yeah, Barney sees girls, it could not be happier. Ted, Marshall and Lily's apartment and listen to Barney. Barney: I could be more unfortunate. All night, she goes back on me. I brought her back home and she runs away? When I loose a daughter, I am polite to sleep with her before. It is good manners. Ted: It looks like she has read this book, Of course you're alone, look at you, poor trail. What? It was this book that helps girls find a husband. It is that of Robin. I just laminated. Okay! Barney, when you were with this girl, she subtly used the word "sx"? Flashback Woman: I'm in the inter-gender-ing, and I have some sex-seconds before the light turns green. And then, everyone honks, and it really sx, but I can not run because a jogger slips and falls in the Sacraments of sex-horse. Barney: Continuous. Continues. End flashback Ted: Did she used an excuse for physical contact? Flashback Woman: It's the cashmere? Barney: Kashmir? This is the virgin merino hand-woven. The fibers of this costume are spaced less than 12 microns. Female: 12 microns. I like the tight fibers. Barney: Well, you're lucky, because mine are the tightest. And touched, they are more gentle. End flashback Barney: She did it too! Ted: And here's the final test. Next time, invite the following evening. The book says that it is forbidden, then surely it will give you a bogus excuse, like, "I can not tomorrow night. I have already planned to clean my garage and I take a bubble bath.But why not next week? " Barney at the bar with a woman. Barney: You try this sh1t of course you're alone, look at you, poor trail. Woman: It's not crap. Sure you're alone, look at you, poor trail, is a brilliant book. And it scares the guys who only want the ass. Barney: Did you just say you got a kid! Woman: You'd be surprised how many assholes we cross. That is why my book says to never sleep at first date. Barney: Completely. Woman: Or the second. Or the third. Barney: Of course. Well... Woman: Or the fourth. Barney: Just tell me how! Female: 17. Barney: Excuse me, someone is using this stool? He sits down and falls. The band is at the apartment of Ted and Robin. Ted: That is: no sx before hot date 17th. Lily: If you're not going to take her 17th hot date, you should give up. Barney: I will not give up, but yes. For, thanks to the book of Ted... Ted: From Robin is Robin. Barney: I can have two shots ahead. There is a flaw in there and I will get it. The phone rings and Robin wins. Don: Listen... You wanna go out on Saturday night? Robin: Saturday night? Marshall: It invites you to come out? Say yes! Say yes! Robin: Don... Listen, it's... it's really nice of you, and you're really great... Marshall, with the phone in the kitchen: Yes, I'm going out with you. Don: Robin, you okay? Robin launches a cushion to Marshall but the spleen. Marshall: I just have a cold. That's why for my voice. (She goes into the kitchen and tries to pick up the phone) But great for Saturday night. One can go to a restaurant grill, and you could bring a first side for my friends Marshall. I gotta go. Kisses. Robin: But what are you doing? Marshall: You have to do, okay? A great guy like Don, it's rare.And speaking of rare, first one side, do not forget. Thank you. Barney: I can not believe. Friends... This is it! She wrote the book! It must be named Anita. My plan was to sleep with her but it changes everything. New plan: I'll sleep with her. Marshall, Lily and Robin are at the bar. Lily: That girl that Barney hunting, it seems a somewhat anti-Barney. I like the way the universe has decided to collect. Robin: Actually, Anita Barney went to see him because I have requested. Lily: You told to go and see Anita Barney? How you know her? Robin: It was my show. Flashback Anita is interviewed by Robin. Robin: But, uh... if you had to summarize your book in less than 30 words... Anita: I would summarize in one, Robin. And that word is "no."By saying no constantly and consistently, it gives a power, simultaneously transforming any fool in human wreck, subject, and whining. Robin: Is not this the dream of all women? After the break, we'll talk about your new book, Of course you have not yet retirement plan, look at you, poor trail, scheduled for June We come back after the break. Mike: It's good. You want a coffee? Robin: Absolutely, Mike, great idea. Mike: You? Anita: No. And you, Robin? You go out with someone? Robin: I have not really want right now. Anita: You were broken heart? End flashback Robin: And then I told him everything. It came out at once. And in the end, she said... Flashback Anita: That Barney needs a lesson. Give me the order, and I will destroy it. Robin: That's to say? Anita: I will use the power of "no" to destroy your friend Barney.Say it. Robin: Come on, it does not really work, though? Mike: I knew not what you wanted when I caught you a cappuccino, espresso, latte, decaf... and a Turkish coffee. Anita: Thank you, Mike. Think about it. Robin: I never thought that I would think, but... I thought about it. The band is at the bar. Barney: This Pilates teacher broke all scores. Imagine Robin, but younger. And bigger breasts. Not bigger, but more shapely.And larger. (Robin phone) I put on the StairMaster and... Robin: It does. Barney: Spoilers. Regardless, we did. Anita: It's done. (Mike brings a drink to Anita) Thank you, Mike. End flashback Robin: I know it was stupid, but, see, at that time, I was still depressed over the break. I was in my phase of mourning. It means a lot of tape and long nights at the shooting range. Lily: I hope this was not the same nights. Robin: Serious, Lily. I do not remember everything. Marshall and Lily are in bed. Marshall: You knew that Robin was in mourning? It looked good after the break. Lily: You know her. She keeps her emotions for her. But yes, I saw her crying sometimes. Marshall: She cried? Real tears? It means... Ted (2030): Marshall understood what he had been con with Robin. Flashback Marshall: Yeah, Barney sees girls, it could not be happier. You see, this guy has been very active. Sexually. Finally, it is like that... bang... bang... bang... You see? It's like... bang... bang... End flashback Marshall: How could you let me do? You're my wife. You must avoid that I ridiculed in public. Lily: I know, but the song is rather catchy. They start to sing. [SCENE_BREAK] Ted and Barney are at McLaren's. Barney: sh1t. I read this entire book and I find no fault. What will I do? Ted: There is another option... but you're not ready. Barney: Tell me. Ted: If you must conclude in one hot date, a date that must be crazy. I do not speak of a restaurant-cine. Or mini golf. I speak of... 17 romantic rendezvous grouped into one incredible night. I mean... a super hot date. Barney: A great date? It's not very catchy. And if I say a mega date? Ted: If you want my help, it's a super hot date. Barney: Okay. Ted: Let me do it. I will plan everything. Barney: You're going to plan everything? This is cutesy and romantic? Ted: Cutesy and romantic? (He starts singing) No need to take him to Paris or Peru... Barney: What are you doing? Ted singing: You just gotta make him understand... Barney: They look at us. Ted: How important it is for you... Barney: Really? You really gonna do that? Ted, still singing: In your super hot date, Global problems will simply be put aside, for wonders and surprises that will be the stars. Hurry, do not be late because together, you will find a country where paradise is rebukes. And then, boom! Fireworks in the sky over Manhattan! You kiss him. And your super hot date. Barney: It looks to me like cutesy and romantic. Box strip? Ted: Box strip. Ted (2030): Finally, the night of the great rencards arrived. Robin Marshall joined the bar. Marshall: Tonight is the big night. Where do you take D-Bag?This is a bad nickname for Don. I will look better. Robin: I just... I canceled. Robin hand to the bathroom. Marshall: How does it... Wait. Ted and Lily sit at the table. Lily: A problem? Marshall: Robin canceled his hot date. Ted: What? She was super excited there is one hour. Flashback Robin leaves his room in a red dress. Ted: You look like the classiest and most expensive of all prostitutes. Robin: Thank you. Ted: You're excited to go out with Don? Robin: You know what? Looks good. Do not tell Marshall. Ted: I will say nothing. I bet you will spend a good evening. And not, however, a great night. A great night will be spent by Barney during his date with Anita. A carriage ride, dinner at "Tombeur panties." They call it a super hot date. End flashback Marshall: Ted! How could you do that?! Robin has just released his period of mourning! Ted: She seemed happy after the break. Marshall: You see nothing. Typical of a guy. She was obviously devastated. Ted: Wait, but that would mean... Ted (2030): And I understood what I had been con with Robin. Flashback Ted arrives at the bar while Marshall sings and dances. Ted: You sing what? Marshall: A song about the number of girls that Barney has typed recently. Ted: I'll sing a verse. Marshall: Super. End flashback Ted: Where is she? Marshall: I think it is the toilet. Robin cries when Marshall, Lily and Ted enters the toilet. Robin: I'm fine, I'm fine. Barney and whistles will open the door of his apartment.Marshall followed between Ted and Lily, and he will give a punch in the robot's head of Barney. Barney: Why did you do that? Marshall: Because I am angry against you. And against me. Ted and cons. And frankly, I still am against the Empire. Barney: Why are you angry against me? Ted: You were a real asshole to Robin when she was in her period of mourning. Barney: The period of mourning? She has not had a period of mourning. Ted: You see nothing. Marshall: Typical of a guy. Lily: Barney, sit down, there are two three things to tell you. Barney: What, she is upset? Lily: Of course she is upset. Look at you, poor trail. Ted (2030): Then Aunt Lily told Barney all the little details of what he had not seen since the break. Flashback Barney: You should have seen. Robin: I'm going. Barney: We go back home... Robin left the apartment and crying in the hallway. We see Barney on television with a sign and Robin goes into the kitchen crying. At the bar, the boys sing and dance on the number of Barney's conquests. End flashback Barney throws his hat into the robot. Barney: I can not believe that Robin is upset. Marshall: And hast me you vomit in your Stormtrooper helmet. Barney: I did worse after the premiere of "The Phantom Menace."It's been like that since we broke up? Lily: Well, it was much better before you decide to go to your stupid super hot date with Anita. And now she broods, God knows where. Barney: I know where. Robin is at the shooting range. Barney arrives. Robin: Barney, what's up? I thought you had a super hot date. Barney: I know you're upset. Robin: What? No. I've never been happier. Anita and this seems great. I'm so glad... by the merest chance, you found yourself. It warms my fcking heart. She pulls without the headphones on, then ends up throwing his gun because there is more balls. Barney: You sure you're not upset? Robin: Of course I do. Do not you see how to talk continually of your conquests makes me feel like another number for you? Barney: You're not another number for me. Robin: And now you to take Anita you barely know, this extraordinary hot date, then you do not ever offered me that. It's just that... It sucks, that's all. It sucks. Barney: I knew I was a bad boyfriend, but I had no idea that I was worse in the former boyfriend. I'm sorry. How can I be forgiven? Robin: Nothing, Barney. You've already proven I'm not important to you. Barney: Stop saying that, I'm serious. Ask me what you want. Robin: Do not sleep with Anita. Barney: I promise. Robin: Of course you'll sleep with her. Why is this super hot date if not? Barney: It will not go super hot date. It is you who will go. Ted (2030): Your uncle Barney gave Robin finally the super hot date she deserved. With a guy she deserved. Of course, there was a detail to be resolved. Anita Barney comes to see who is at the bar with Ted, Marshall and Lily. Barney: I wanted to call you. Anita: I violate any rules in my coming here, but... no one asks me rabbit like that, so we go out or not? Barney: I'm sorry, I... I made a promise to a friend. I must say no. Anita: I see. You try the trick of "no." You really think it'll work?Because it will not work. Okay, I'll make a deal. Maybe... you might get lucky after the 12th hot date. Barney: No. Anita: The 11th? Barney: No. Anita: The fifth? Barney: No. Anita: Tonight? Barney: No. Anita: This evening before dinner? Barney: No. Anita, Ted: And you? You're interested. Ted: Yeah. Anita: Go. Barney: I'm sorry. The answer is no. Anita: Well. Because my answer is no, too. This is my last offer. She slides in the hollow of the ear. He gets up and leaves. He descends the stairs and jump over a fence and landed in the water. Barney: Here is my story. Police: This is a $ 500 fine for having jumped into the river. I hope it was worth it. A fireworks bursting in the sky while Barney is on the bench wrapped in a blanket. Barney: I hope so too. Don and Robin approach and embrace. The band is at the apartment. Ted: This is an old story of married women. Marshall: How was this date? Robin: Good enough. Pretty... pretty good. Ted: How so? Robin: Come on, guys. It was good. It was nice. We spent a pleasant evening. Let... Let him that. Even if... She began singing followed by Marshall, Lily and Ted when Barney sits on the couch and watch Robin.	Plan: A: Robin; Q: Who confesses that she is still angry with Barney for the way he handled their break-up? A: a self-help author; Q: What is Anita's profession? A: his own game; Q: What does Anita plan to beat Barney at? Summary: When Robin confesses that she is still angry with Barney for the way he handled their break-up, she enlists the help of Anita, a self-help author who plans to beat Barney at his own game.
Wesley: "I'm a fraud. The Council was right to sack me. I'm surprised they didn't cut my head off!" Angel: "Kate, do you trust me?" Kate: "You know I do." Angel and Penn fighting. Angel looking down at Kate in his vamp face. Angel: "Because there's just some things in this world you're just not ready to face. Angel inspects a knife that Wesley has laid on the kitchen table in front of him. Angel: "The mark of Kekfadlorem. (Puts the knife back down) I've heard of it, but I've never seen it." Wesley: "A knife with that mark is the only thing that will kill a Kek demon. Could be very useful." Angel: "Especially if Kek demons weren't extinct." Wesley: "They are? (Sinks down into a chair across from Angel) Oh dear. Well, - perhaps there is one out there hibernating, eh? - Ready to wake at any moment and embark on a grisly rampage." Angel: "I'll keep my fingers crossed." Timer buzzes. Cordelia comes into the kitchen: "They're done! Nobody touch." Angel (to Wesley): "She's making brownies." Wesley: "Oh, is that what I smell? (Quietly to Angel) I thought I tracked something in." Cordy takes the pan out of the oven: "The recipe was handed down to me by my mother, who got it from her housekeeper. Plus, I improvised a little. (To Wesley) You're gonna love them." Wesley: "Me? Doesn't Angel - have to - get to try any?" Cordy cutting at the brownies: "They are brownies full of nutty goodness, not red blood cells." Wesley: "Oh, I wasn't thinking. (Aside to Angel) More of a drinker than an eater, I suppose." Cordy is having trouble cutting the brownies: "Maybe if he'd branch out into the solids, he'd keep a decent knife around." Cordy picks up the demon dagger still laying on the table and starts to cut the brownies with it. Wesley jumps up: "That is not appropriate! It's for killing extinct demons! Angel, make her stop." Angel smiling: "Cordelia..." Wesley: "That blade is very old. Who knows what kind of corrosive effect your cooking may have on it!" Cordy waves the knife at Wesley: "Corrosive effect?" Angel: "Cordelia, just put down the very sharp knife." Wesley (to Cordy): "Well, they don't smell right." Cordy puts the knife on the table (to Wesley): "I think Mr. Too-much-cologne is the pot calling the kettle stinky." Angel: "Cordelia, Doyle! (Wesley and Cordy turn to look at him) I mean, uhm - Wesley. (Long pause) Wesley. (Angel looks up but the others won't meet his eye) Let's just, uhm (Gets up) no more fighting, alright?" Angel leaves the kitchen and Cordy sits down at the table with a sigh. Cut to a house with a white picket fence. Ryan: "Where is it, Stephanie?" Stephanie: "What are you talking about? I didn't take anything! Give me that. Stop it!" Cut to two blond kids fighting inside the house. There are cardboard boxes stacked against some of the walls. Ryan: "You took one of my cards." Stephanie: "I didn't touch your stupid cards." Ryan: "What did you do with it?" Stephanie: "Stop it! MOM!" Mom comes in: " Okay, that's it." Ryan: "She took one of my cards." Stephanie: "I did not!" Ryan: "You did too! (Holds up a card) I had five of this one and now I only have four." Mom: "Well, there are children in India who only have three. Come on. It's time for bed anyway." Both kids: "Oh, mom, no!" Father from the door: "You heard your mother. (Stands behind his wife and looks at the kids) It's time for bed. Cut to the mother tucking Stephanie into bed. She closes the bedroom door and leans her head against it. Then turns to look up at her husband. Paige: "Do we have to?" Paige looks over at a door with Ryan's name on it. Camera pans down to show that it is padlocked shut. Paige steps to the side and Dad padlocks Stephanie's door. Intro. Cut to Cordy slowly stepping into Angel's office. He's sitting behind his desk, reading. Cordy: "Pretend to read any good books lately?" Angel: "Cordelia. I thought you went home." Cordy walks slowly into the office and sits down across from Angel with a sigh. Cordy: "You called him Doyle." Angel: "It just - happened. - I hope Wesley is okay with it." Cordy: "Oh, who cares about him! This is about Doyle. You-you never say his name!" Angel: "I say it." Cordy: "No, you don't. - Look you don't have to be* Joe Stoic* about his dying. I mean, I know that you have this unflappable vibe working for you, but... you don't have to do that for me." Angel: "I'm not unflappable." Cordy: "Great. So - flap." Angel gets up with a sigh, moves around for a while, Cordy watches him silently. Angel: "I miss him." Cordy: "Me, too." Angel: "I've been around death before - a lot! - I've lost people. I've killed people." Cordy: "And you are dead. (Angel looks at her) Sorry." Angel: "It shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have let it happen!" Cordy: "Angel, it wasn't your fault. - It hurts." Angel: "Yeah." Cordy puts a hand up to her head: "No it-it really - really (Throws herself back in her chair) really!" Flash to a blurred vision of the two kids and their father - house number 1256. Angel goes to hold her: "Easy, easy. (Cordy comes out of her vision with a gasp) - What did you see?" Blend over into Angel and Wesley pulling up in front of the house in the convertible. Angel: "1256 - that's the house." Wesley: "Angel?" Angel turns to see Ryan in his pajamas walking towards the street. Ryan is about to get run over by a car coming down the street. Angel jumps out, runs across the street and tackles the boy off the street just in time. The car drives by, honking. Angel (to Ryan): "You're all right?" Ryan: "Yeah. (Sees that Angel the coat over his shoulder) You're bleeding. Are you going to cry?" Angel looks at his shoulder then back at the boy: "I don't think so. (Looks at his shoulder then away with a smile) I don't know. - Huh, - let me think. (Seriously) Ah, no - yeah - uh, no (smiles) not gonna cry. (Ryan smiles back) What's your name?" Ryan: "Ryan." Angel: "Ryan, you want to tell me what you were doing outside?" Angel and Ryan get up as the father comes running out off the house. Dad: "Ryan! (Grabs him by the shoulders) Son, you know better than this! (Glances up at Angel) Say 'thank you' to the nice man. You come inside!" Paige comes running, wearing a white bathrobe: "Ryan! (Hugs him) Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What happened?" Dad: "He was in the street. He almost got hit. Paige - he's fine." Paige hugs Ryan hard: "God, my baby." Dad: "It's cold. Let's just - get him inside." Paige (to Angel): "You saved him. Thank God you were here." Angel and the Dad look at each other. Dad: "Yeah. - Thank you." Angel: "It's okay. (Laughs and tousles Ryan's hair) Ha, scamp, isn't he?" Paige notices his shoulder: "Oh, you're hurt. Your shoulder. (The all look at Angel's shoulder) You come inside." Paige leads the way still hugging Ryan. Angel follows after a look at the Dad. The dad gives a sigh and brings up the rear. Cut to Paige cleaning Angel's cut and bloody shoulder. Paige: "Are you sure you don't want to drive you to the emergency room? I think you may need some stitches." Angel: "I'll be fine, really. - I'm not a big bleeder." Paige nods with a smile: "We just moved in. (Looks around) Still a little bit jumbled. It doesn't get any easier, you know. Every new place you have to start over. Finding friends - people to talk to." Dad slowly walks in: "Ryan's asleep. He's - out like a light." Angel takes the rag from Paige and holds it over his shoulder. Angel looking up at the dad: "Hmm, he seems like a nice boy." Paige nods and smiles: "He is. Thank you so much! (Laughs, while the dad sits down on the couch behind her, not looking too happy) That must have been about the millionth time I said that! (Angel smiles back at her) Really, thank you. If there is anything we can do for you. Money? Or (Points to her husband on the couch) Seth's an investment advisor. Do you need some advice?" Angel shakes his head: "No, nothing. But thank you." Seth with a smile: "Paige, honey, he probably just wants to go home and get cleaned up." Paige nods slowly. Angel: "So how do you think Ryan got out into the street?" Seth: "Climbed out the window." Paige after a beat: "We have burglar bars - but he must be able to fit between. We didn't think of that, didn't even bother checking." Angel: "So where do you think he was going?" Seth: "Going? He wasn't going anywhere." Angel: "So you think he was trying to get away from something." Seth: "What would he have to get away from in his own house?" Cut to Wesley inspecting the contents of a yellow trashcan sitting against the house, holding a flashlight and poking around in it with a stick. He pokes a doll and jumps when it says 'Mom,' dropping the flashlight on the ground. He lets out a sigh. As he crouches down to pick up the flashlight he notices that it is illuminating some streaks of yellow slime on the foundation. Wesley: "Oh dear." Cut to Angel sitting in the sofa chair, while Seth lights a cigarette. Seth: "This bother you?" Angel shakes his head: "No." Seth leaning back: "A lot of health nuts these days, you know? Like anyone needs to live forever." Angel with a slight smile: "No one needs that." Seth takes a drag from his cigarette as the two men just look at each other. Seth: "She'll be right back with the bandages and - then you can go." Angel: "Right. - Uhm - Paige was telling me that you were new in town. (Paige comes in to put a bandage on Angel's shoulder) Where did you - ah..." Paige: "What? (She stares at Angel's shoulder. It's almost completely healed.) This was much worse." Angel: "Uh, it's just a scratch. Uh, Seth was telling me where you lived before." Paige puts the bandage on: "Akron, uh - one winter there was enough." Seth: "You know what? It strikes me, you never told us your name." Angel: "Angel. - Jones. Angel Jones." Paige: "Angel." Seth: "Honey." Paige pulls two ceramic angels out of a box and shows them to Angel. Seth rolls his eyes up. Paige (to Angel): "See?" Angel: "Angels?" Paige nods with a smile: "I collect them! I think the angels are around us all the time, don't you?" Angel looks at the angels he's holding: "I-I think, uhm - there are - beings." Paige: "It's a nice thought. Like someone's looking out for us, keeping us out of danger. (Seth shakes his head) And tonight you really were our angel, weren't you?" Angel: "I think I was just in the right place." Seth: "It's getting late." Angel hands the angels back to Paige as Seth gets up from the couch. Paige to Angel as he gets up and puts on his coat: "Come to dinner." Seth: "Paige." Paige: "Tomorrow night. Say you will. Let us pay you back for looking after us." Seth: "We've taken up too much of Angel's time already." Angel looks at Seth, then Paige then back at Seth: "Can I bring something?" Seth doesn't say anything as Paige smiles up at Angel. Cut to Angel getting into the car. Wesley is sitting in the passenger seat. Angel: "Something is wrong in that house. - The wife wants to talk, but the husband keeps getting in her way. - I'm going to come back tomorrow night." Wesley: "Be careful." Angel: "I always am." Wesley holds up a vial filled with glowing yellow mucus: "Be especially careful." Angel takes it: "Plakticine." Wesley: "I found it all around the foundation of the house." Angel: "So now we know." Wesley: "Someone in that house is possessed by a demon." Angel hands the vial back to Wesley and starts the car. Stephanie watches them drive away from one of the windows. Cut to Angel's office. Wesley is closing the blinds as Angel walks in. Cordy (to phone): "Thanks for your help. (Hangs up the phone) Well, mama is telling the truth about Akron, and before that Miami and Baton Rouge, all within the last three years." Angel holds up the glowing vial: "Let me guess - couldn't lose the black cloud." He sets the vial on Cordy's desk and folds his arms. Cordy looks at the vial: "Like it was fitted with chin straps. Everywhere they go, there've been reports of disturbances and - yuck! -animal death? In Akron, a friend of the family - went missing. - He's still missing! (They all look at each other, then Cordy picks up the vial) What is this stuff anyway? Kind of pretty!" Wesley: "Uh, it's the bodily excretion of an Ethros demon." Cordy puts the vial down and folds her hands: "No one could have said - demon poo - before I touched it." Wesley: "Oh, it can't hurt you. Only the demon itself is dangerous." Cordy: "How dangerous?" Wesley: "Tends to go in for mass murder. - You've heard of Lizzie Borden? She killed her parents with an axe?" Cordy: "I remember the children's rhyme. And how come they're all full of death and cradles falling, and mice getting tails cut off? (Angel chuckles) Anyway, the whole thing needs a ratings system, don't you think?" Wesley: "Yes, well - what the rhyme doesn't say is that she was possessed by an Ethros." Angel: "An adolescent Ethros. (Picks up the vial) With this amount of Plakticine, we've got ourselves a grown-up demon." Cordy: "So someone in that family has got a squatter in their head. What do we do about it?" Angel throws the vial at Wesley: "Evict him." Wesley catches it: "Exorcism. (Angel nods) I'll look into finding someone who can perform one. Not too many priest go in for it much these days." Cordy: "But who do we exorcise? Which one is the demon?" Angel: "The father seemed kind of off. They were afraid of him." Wesley: "A father doesn't have to be possessed to terrorize his children. He just has to... (Takes a deep breath) We'll find out soon enough. The first step in confronting the demon is getting him to show himself. A little psylis eucalipsis powder ingested by the host..." Cordy: "And what? Dad goes 'grrr.' Head spins around?" Wesley: "Essentially." Angel: "Okay, so how do I get someone to eat - eucalipsis powder?" Cut to Paige opening the door for Angel. He's holding a plate covered with plastic wrap. Angel: "I made brownies." Cut to the family and Angel sitting around the table. Paige: "More Brussels sprouts, Angel?" Angel: "No! Thank you, I'm - full. Everything was - very good." Paige smiles as she clears off the plates. Seth: "The roast was a little dry." Angel: "No. It was full of - roasty goodness." Paige: "I think we're ready to try your brownies, Angel." Seth picking up his and Angel's plate: "I'll get the coffee." Both parents leave for the kitchen. Ryan quietly to Angel: "I didn't like the Brussels sprouts. They're gross." Angel to Stephanie: "You seemed to like yours." Stephanie folds back her napkin, revealing a Brussels sprout hidden in it. Angel laughs and she hides it again. Angel leans forward and whispers: "I buried one in my mashed potatoes, too." The kids laugh. Seth: "What are you laughing at?" Stephanie: "Angel's funny." Seth pours the coffee: "Yeah? He hides it well." Paige puts the plate with the brownies on the table: "Look kids. See what Angel made for us?" Everyone except for Angel takes a brownie. Stephanie takes one bite, makes a face and hides it in her napkin. Ryan eats his without making a face. Angel looks over at Seth as he holds the brownie posed in front of his mouth looking back at Angel. Paige puts her brownie down after the first taste: "Hmm, it's uhm - what's your secret, Angel?" Angel: "I use - uhm, chocolate. That's why they're brown - which gives them their name - brownies." Seth: "No hot chocolate for you kids tonight. This is your treat tonight." Ryan: "Dad." Stephanie: "That's not fair." Paige: "Kids. Shh. Company." Angel looks over out of the corner of his eye at Seth, who has finally taken a bite. Seth begins to choke and Stephanie screams. She is staring at her brother, who is growling and whose face is turning into a demon face. Cut to Ryan's head jerking around, then dropping onto the table. Paige jumps up and hugs him. Paige: "Oh God, Ryan, what's wrong?" Angel gets up: "You're son is possessed by a demon." Stephanie: "Ryan's bad. Ryan's always been bad." Seth: "Stephanie." Stephanie gets up and leaves. Paige: "Baby, - can you hear me?" Angel walks over to her: "Paige, listen to me - he's okay." Paige: "What do you mean, he's okay?" Angel: "I had to get the demon to show itself first." Paige: "You did this to him?" Angel: "The demon was already there, I just used the brownies to..." Paige: "You put something in our food. You poisoned him? (Angel looks over at Seth, who just looks back) What were you thinking? I thought you were here to help us. You are not an angel." Seth: "Paige, it's okay." Paige: "Seth, he did this to Ryan." Seth: "We both know that that is not true. What was wrong with Ryan has been wrong for a long time. (Gets up) Now you say you know how to help my son? (Angel just looks at him) Alright. What do you need?" Angel: "A phone." Cut to Paige huddled on the sofa with Ryan on her lap. Seth is sitting next to them stroking Ryan's back. Angel (to phone): "I found our demon. It's in the boy." Wesley on the phone in the office: "We're not ready. I found the name of a priest, but we're having a spot of trouble running him to ground." Angel: "I need for you to put together a binding powder. Everything you need is in the pantry. We can contain him until we get the priest. We're coming to you." Angel and Wesley hang up as Seth gets off the sofa. Angel to Seth: "How is she?" Seth: "She's just - (sighs) It's been so long." Angel: "This isn't gonna be easy." Seth: "For the last three years - it's been all I can do to hold this family together. - Now you come here and tell me there may be a reason for all the terror and confusion, and a way to end it? - Maybe you are an angel." Angel: "Can you get someone to come and stay with your daughter?" Seth: "Yes. Why?" Angel: "The rest of you are coming with me." Cut to Wesley sliding the grate of the elevator open. He takes Ryan from Angel and carries him over to Angel's bed. Angel (to Seth and Paige): "These are my assistants." Cordy: "Hi, I'm Cordelia. (Shakes Paige's hand) Sorry about the possession and everything." Seth: "Ah - Hello." Wesley covers Ryan with a blanket as Cordy picks up a big glass bottle and starts to draw a circle around the bed with the yellow sand that's in it. Cordy: "Oh, I wonder if I should put plastic down. Angel, are you expecting any big vomiting here? Because - I saw the movie." Seth and Paige look at Angel, who just raises his eyebrows at her. Cordy makes a face and gets back to drawing the circle. Wesley: "The binding powder will keep the demon under control - while Angel and I go to find the priest." Paige: "He doesn't need a priest." Angel puts a hand on her shoulder: "Paige - listen to me. - The only way through this is to let us help. - Look, your son is possessed. - Deep down you know this is true. - You know it." Wesley: "Cordelia will stay with you. We'll be back as soon as we can." Angel: "Do not break the circle. It's important. He'll try and get you to come to him. Don't do it. Don't touch him. - He's been exposed, and he's angry. - He'll kill you if he gets a chance, you got that?" Cordy: "Jeez, we got it! Circle, angry, kill, kill, kill. Go to church already." Angel and Wesley leave. Seth puts a hand on Paige's shoulder and she covers it with one of her own as the both look at Ryan laying unconscious on the bed. Blend into Wesley and Angel walking into a church. Angel trails a bit behind Wesley taking a deep breath as he looks up at the crucifix above the altar. The church is empty except for an old nun praying in the front pew. Wesley: "Ah, sister? Good evening. Sorry to disturb your prayers. I hope we didn't make you lose your place." Angel leans one hand on the end of the pew occasionally glancing up at the crucifix. Nun gets up (to Wesley): "Not at all. How can I... (Looks over at Angel) - You would come in to a place of worship?" Angel: "I'm not what you think." Nun: "No?" She tries to brush the cross on her rosary against Angel's hand and he quickly pulls his hand away. Angel: "Okay. (Swallows) Yeah, I am. - But I'm trying to help someone. A child. He's possessed by an Ethros demon." Wesley: "Which is why we need to find father Fredricks. I'm afraid it's rather urgent." Nun: "He's out behind the church." Wesley: "Thank you! (To Angel) Progress at last." Nun: "The last grave on the left." Angel: "He's - the father's dead." Nun walking up towards a side altar: "Six months ago a family came to father Fredricks. Their daughter was possessed with a demon. (Reaches to light some votive candles) A very powerful demon. - Father Fredricks saved the young woman - but he couldn't save himself." Wesley: "It, uhm, it was an Ethros demon?" Nun: "If the child you are trying to save really is possessed with an Ethros (Looks at Wesley) my prayers are with you (Looks at Angel) both of you. Because what you are dealing with is - very, very smart - and very dangerous. (Lifts her eyebrows at Angel) Even more dangerous than you." Ryan: "Mommy? Where are you? Mommy, I'm scared. - I need you. - Are you there?" Ryan is sitting up on Angel's bed. Paige is sitting at the kitchen table with Seth. Cordy is pouring them some tea. Paige to Seth: "Couldn't I just take him his toys, please?" Seth: "You heard what Angel said, Paige. We have to wait." Paige: "But why do we have to wait? Things were going really well this time, weren't they? - Couldn't we just keep on like it was?" Seth: "Paige, no. Not after Ohio." Cordy: "Ohio?" Seth after a beat: "A friend of ours - the kids used to call him Uncle Frank, died in a fire." Paige with a sob: "That was an accident. It wasn't Ryan!" Ryan: "Mommy, I'm scared. It's so cold in here. Mommy?" Paige tries to get up, but Seth grabs her arm. Seth: "And that isn't Ryan either. - Paige?" Paige settles back down: "I'm not going to him, okay? I'm playing by the stupid rules." Cordy: "Good! We can watch TV or play cards. You'll get caught up, you won't even hear your son's pain." Ryan: "Mommy, I need you. I'm so scared. Come here." Paige to Seth: "This is just too cruel." Cordy to Paige: "It's almost over. And Angel is good at this kind of thing, and Wesley... - Well, I'm sure they'll be right back with the priest. Cut to Wesley filling a glass bottle with water from the baptismal fountain. Angel: "You can't do it." Wesley: "I know the ritual and we have the supplies." Angel: "You've never done this before. Look, it takes tremendous strength - mental strength." Wesley: "Resistance to suggestion. Yes, I understand that. - I like to think of myself as possessing a certain..." Angel: "Wesley, you don't even have sales resistance. (Wesley looks up at him) How many thighmasters do you own?" Wesley: "The second one was a free gift with my 'Buns of Steel.'" Angel: "Father Fredricks was an expert. A demon just like this killed him." Wesley: "You're saying I can't do it." Angel: "That's right." Wesley looks away: "So our only option is (picks up a cross and tosses it to Angel) you do it." Angel instinctively catches it. It burns his hand and he hisses and tosses it like a hot potato. Angel sighs and exhales: "That was vulgar." Wesley: "But I believe I made my point." Angel: "All right. You'll do it. But I'm going to be right there with you." Cut to the yellow circle around Angel's bed. Paige standing in the door with Seth: "See, honey? Mommy's right here. I'm not going anywhere. Nobody is going to hurt you, sweetie. It's going to be okay." Cordy: "Paige, come away." Seth: "You wanted to see him, there he is - and he's gonna be fine." Paige: "He's not fine! Look at him, Seth. Look at him. He needs me." Ryan is laying huddled on his side under the blanket, still wearing the gray demon face. Ryan: "Mamma? I can't see. Something is wrong with my eyes and it hurts. (Paige looks up at her husband then back at Ryan) Why won't you help me?" Paige: "I'm here, baby. I'm right here." Ryan begins to growl and tosses on the bed. Paige strains to go to him, but Cordy and Seth manage to restrain her. Cut to Angel and Wesley walking into the upstairs office. Wesley looking at an open book in his hands: "The standard Latin seems to be the ritual of choice for an Ethros." Angel: "Good. Come on. (Wesley stops and Angel turns back to him) What?" Wesley: "I believe I know how the priest was killed. - When an Ethros is cast out it immediately seeks another body to inhabit. The Demon is expelled with such force that the newly inhabited rarely survives." Angel: "That's a problem." Wesley quietly: "I dare say." They hear the commotion as Cordy and Seth try to hold Paige back and hurry into the elevator. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Cordy turning from Paige as she hears the elevator. Cordy: "They're here. They're coming." Ryan: "Mommy!" Seth and Cordy watch the elevator come down while Paige takes advantage of their distraction to run to Ryan. Angel sees her: "No!" Seth: "Paige!" He and Cordy run after her, but the door slams shut in their faces and won't open. Angel tries to get out of the elevator, but the outside door won't slide aside. Cordy: "Angel!" Cut to Ryan stroking his mother's face as she leans over him. Ryan: "Mommy. I'm so glad you're here. (Takes her by the throat and starts to choke her) So glad." Cut to Paige struggling against Ryan. Seth and Cordy manage to get the doors open and Seth tries to break Ryan's hold on his mom. Seth: "Ryan, no! Ryan, stop it!" Cordy running back out: "Angel! (The elevator is back upstairs and she bangs on the button a couple of times) Hurry!" Angel and Wesley come running down the stairs. Seth: "Ryan, no. Let her go. Ryan, stop it! Stop it! Let her go!" Wesley runs in and holds a cross in Ryan's face, while Angel helps Seth to pull Paige away. Wesley: "Omnis spiritus in munde. In nomine dei!" Ryan screams and falls back on the bed. Seth cradles his wife in his arms. Wesley: "It's retreated back into the boy." Angel: "It's gone deeper." Wesley: "That's likely." Angel (to Paige): "Look, from now on you do exactly as I'm telling you, understood?" Paige nods, her hands wrapped around her throat. Cut to Wesley redrawing the circle with the yellow powder. Angel comes in, hands him a little black book then slowly backs back out and closes the doors. Seth is sitting on the edge of the daybed, where his wife is drinking a cup of tea. Angel walks up behind Cordy, who is sitting on the sofa looking through a book. Angel: "Anything?" Cordy hands him the open book: "Ethros demon - Ethros box." Angel looks at the picture of a box in the book: "Hmm, this is what's used to trap it." Cordy gets up and points out a passage to him: "It says right here the demon goes all dingy when it's forced out. Bad sense of direction or something. If you have one of these boxes, it'll go right into it." Angel reads: "There to be confined for a thousand years." Cordy: "Which ought to do it, right? Of course without one of these..." Angel: "The demon will try to make the jump to the nearest warm body." Cordy: "Right. - So you're safe anyway. (Angel looks at her) Maybe we can build one of these." Angel looks back at the book: "Ah, an authentic Ethros box is made of 600 species of virgin woods and handcrafted by blind Tibetan monks." Cordy thinks for a moment: "Nope. Don't know any." Angel writes an address on a piece of paper and hands it to Cordy. Angel: "Melrose and Robertson, between the yogurt shop and the Doggy Dunk." Cordy: "Blind virgin monks?" Angel: "No, Rick's Magic 'n' Stuff. If anyone in LA will have an Ethros box, it'll be Rick. (They look around as the light begin to flicker) Better hurry." Cordy leaves: "Okay." Paige runs up to Angel: "What's happening?" Cut to Wesley doing the exorcism. Wesley: "Omnis spiritus in munde. In nomine dei. Omnis spiritus in..." Ryan sits up on the bed looking at Wesley. Ryan in deep demon voice: "Your Latin sucks." Wesley splashes some Holy Water on Ryan then goes to pick up the book. Wesley: "I know your tricks. - You'll not deter me from what must be done." Ryan (in demon voice): "You do something? What makes you think you can do anything?" Wesley: "In odorem suavitatis. Tu autem effugare, diabole. Appropinquabit enim judicium dei." Ryan (demon voice): "You couldn't even 'watch!' (Wesley stares at Ryan) Everyone knows you got fired because you couldn't do anything right. Nothing is going to make him proud of you." Wesley: "Skimming the surface of my mind - very good. But a mere parlor trick. Here's one for you (Puts down the bottle of Holy Water and thrusts a cross into Ryan's face) How many crosses am I holding up? Omnis spiritus immunde. In nomine dei." Ryan in Wesley's voice: "All those hours locked up under the stairs and you still weren't good enough. Not good enough for Daddy, not good enough for the Council." Wesley blinks then looks back at the book: "Omnis spiritus - (Starts to flip the pages) Uh, that is to say." Ryan in demon voice: "Lose your place? What makes you think these people want you around any more than the others did?" Angel coming through the door: "Because I invited him here." Ryan in demon voice to Angel: "Then you're stupider than he is." Angel and Wesley look at each other then Wesley takes a deep breath, holds up the cross and starts again. Wesley: "Tu autem.." Ryan in demon voice: "Go ahead, Wesley, tell him why he's a fool to trust you." Wesley: "Effugare, diabole." Ryan in Angel's voice: "Tell him how you plan to kill him." Wesley to Angel: "That's not true." Ryan in demon voice: "Oh, no? He's more afraid of you than he is of me." Wesley lunges towards Ryan with the cross held high, scuffing the circle with his foot. Wesley: "I'll show you fear!" Ryan holds up his hand and the cross in Wesley's hand buries itself in the side of Wesley's neck. Wesley falls back, screaming and Angel runs over to him. Angel pulls out the cross and tosses it away, shaking his hand from the pain of the cross burning him, while Ryan looks on and laughs. Cut to Rick's Majick 'n' Stuff. Cordy is looking over some wooden boxes sitting on shelves around the store. Rick crosses his hands and bows: "Blessed be." Cordy: "Uh-huh. I need an Ethros box." Rick: "A lady who knows what she wants. Commendable." Cordy: "Yes, I'm great. Just pop it in a bag and I'm out of here." Rick: "I don't have one." Cordy: "You don't have one. (Rick shakes his head) Well, (Cordy looks around then points at a box on a shelf behind Rick) what's that?" Rick: "Good eye. That's a Shorshack box." Cordy: "What's the diff?" Rick takes the box down: "About 20 Dollars, and it's not available in a mahogany finish." Cordy: "Looks the same. Handcrafted by blind Tibetan monks?" Rick opens the box: "Pieced together by mute Chinese nuns. Now that's craftsmanship." Cordy: "Look, I have an Ethros demon and I need a place to put it. Will this work?" Rick: "Hmm, probably. Shorshack demon is a little smaller than your average Ethros, might be tight across the shoulders." Cordy: "Well, how big could the demon be? I mean, it's in a little bitty boy! - I'll take it." Rick: "A wise choice. I think you are going to enjoy this item. It's a quality item. Shall I have it gift-wrapped?" Cut to Paige putting a bandage on Wesley's neck in the kitchen. Angel: "That was too close." Wesley: "I let my guard down. It won't happen again." Angel: "You're not going back in there." Wesley: "Angel!" Angel: "It's too dangerous. He could've killed you, Wesley." Seth: "And my son? What about him?" The kitchen table begins to shake and the marbles roll out of their bag and spell out 'Save Me.' Wesley: "Angel, we don't have a choice." Doyle's voice comes from the bedroom: "The good fight, yeah?" The doors to the bedroom spring open and Ryan sits on the bed, laughing. Ryan in demon voice: "Guess who's here, Angel. He's talking to me right now. Doyle wants to ask why you couldn't protect him." Angel rips a strip off one of the kitchen towels, wraps it around his hand then picks up the cross laying on the table. Seth: "What are you doing?" Angel walking towards the bedroom: "Ending this." Cordy walks in holding the box: "They only had..." Angel: "Get it ready." Angel stalks through the bedroom door with Seth right behind him, while Cordy and Wesley hold the box open between them. Ryan in demon voice to Angel: "You let him die. Just like he's gonna let me die. (In Ryan's voice to Seth) Aren't you, Daddy? (Seth looks down and sees some smoke rising from Angel's hand despite the insulation of the towel) Two great protectors." Angel to Seth: "Get back." Seth backs away as Angel steps up to the bed and lays the cross on Ryan's chest. Angel: "Abrenuntias satanae?" Wesley and Cordy stand in the doorway with the open box. Wesley: "Do you renounce Satan?" Angel: "Et omnibus operibus eus?" Wesley: "And all of his works?" Angel: "Omnibus pompis eus?" Angel's hand is smoking pretty good by now, but he doesn't budge. Wesley: "And all his pomps?" Angel: "Exorcie te. Omnis spiritus immunde. Adaperiae! (Morphs into vamp face) Now get the hell out!" Angel steps back as Ryan writhes on the bed. Ryan begins to glow, the light hits the open box and shatters it. Cordy and Wesley turn as a wind races up the stairs. Ryan is laying on the bed, back in his human face. Paige runs in and hugs her son. Paige: "Ryan?" Seth runs after and hugs both his wife and Ryan at the same time. Angel, Cordy and Wesley stare down at the broken box on the floor. Cordy to Angel: "Oh-oh." Cut to Wesley scraping up some yellow slime with a tongue depressor upstairs in the office. Wesley: "Plakticine! - Clearly it came up the elevator shaft." Cordy: "So it's up here somewhere?" Angel: "No. Long gone by now." Cordy: "And good riddance to it." Angel: "No, not good riddance. It'll possess again." Wesley: "Maybe we shouldn't have been so quick to send the Andersons back home. It might attempt to repossess the boy." Angel: "I don't think so. Not right away." Wesley to Angel: "What are you thinking?" Angel: "Well, it had to expel a lot of energy to escape like this. - It'll need time to recharge." Wesley: "You're thinking the demon has taken on corporeal form." Angel picks up some weapons: "That's my guess. It can only absorb the elements it needs if it manifests itself physically. Which means, if we can find it in time (Throws Wesley one of the weapons) we can kill it. He'll be looking for a hostile environment - somewhere damp. Probably returning to primordial volcanic basalt for his regeneration." Cordy: "Huh?" Wesley: "Sea caves!" Cordy: "Why didn't he just say that?" Angel and Wesley leave. Cut to Angel and Wesley walking down a sea cave. Angel finds some mucus on the wall. Angel: "We're close. Come on." Wesley: "Angel - before we go any further - I just wanted to reassure you - in as much as we will be fighting side by side - what that demons said before.." Angel: "I know you're not planning to kill me, Wesley. - But you're willing to - and that's good. Now come on." They walk further down the cave tunnels and find the Ethros. Ethros: "You." Angel: "Didn't think this was over, did you?" Ethros: "You are a fool. You think to destroy me? You're dealing with forces beyond your comprehension." Angel, twirling his axe: "Yeah? Well, it's a hobby of mine." Wesley: "You great - putrescent - bully! Pick on an innocent child! You think you're impressive?" Ethros: "I am Ethros. I corrupted the spirits of men before they had speech to name me. - The child was but the last among tens of thousands, one more pure heart to corrupt, one more soul to suck dry." Wesley: "Well, chalk up one exciting failure. You didn't get that boy's soul." Ethros: "Hmpf, what soul?" Cut to Paige setting a cup of hot cocoa in front of Stephanie and Ryan. Ryan: "She has nine marshmallows, and I only have seven." Paige: "Well, we'll just have to write the Nestle bunny about that. (Kisses Ryan on the cheek) Drink up. It's way past bedtime." Ethros lowering its hood: "Do you know what the most frightening thing in the world is? - Nothing! That's what I found in the boy (Cut to Ryan staring at Stephanie as she drinks her hot cocoa) no conscience, no fear, no humanity, just a black void. I couldn't control him. (Back to the Ethros) I couldn't get out. I never even manifested until you brought me forth. I just sat there and watched as he destroyed everything around him. Not from a belief in evil, not for any reason at all." Cut to Paige leaning up against Seth with a smile: "He doesn't seem to remember any of it." Seth: "Good." Ethros: "That boy's mind was the blackest hell I've ever known." Angel: "The marbles, that was you." Ethros nods: "When he slept, I could whisper in him. I tried to get him to end his life, even if it meant ending mine." Angel: "You sleepwalked him in front of the car." Ethros: "I had given up - hope. - I know you bring death. I do not fear it. The only thing I have ever feared is in that house." Wesley: "Angel, he's with his family. We have to hurry." Ethros: "Yes, you do." Angel lifts his axe and we hear a scream as we cut away to Paige tucking Ryan in bed. Paige: "Good night, sweetheart." Cut to the outside of the house. Blend into Seth and Paige sleeping in bed. Ryan walks in and picks up the matches laying next to a pack of cigarettes on Seth's nightstand. Seth stirs as Ryan closed the door. Seth: "Ryan?" Ryan drives a wedge under the door to keep it from being opened. Paige sitting up: "What is going on?" Seth trying to get the door open: "I don't know." Ryan takes the phone of the hook and picks up a can of gasoline. Seth: "Ryan, open the door!" Paige: "Ryan - Stephanie?" We can hear the parents trying to talk to him in the background as he walks into Stephanie's bedroom. Seth keeps throwing himself again the door, trying to break it open, screaming at Ryan. Ryan pours gasoline on the floor in Stephanie's room. He sets the can down and lights a match. After a moment he drops the lit match and the gasoline goes up in a wall of flame with Stephanie's bed on the other side. Stephanie wakes up and screams as the smoke detector goes off. Ryan just stands there watching the flames. Seth and Paige come up behind him, see the wall of flame. Seth: "Stephanie!" Stephanie: "Mom, dad! Help!" Angel bursts in through the window and picks Stephanie up off the bed as Wesley appears behind the Andersons. Wesley: "Everybody out! Lets go! Go! Go!" Wesley picks up Ryan and pushes the parents down the hallway. Angel turns with Stephanie in his arms and jumps back out through the window. Cut to the outside of the house. There are firemen on the roof and an Ambulance and a couple police cars in the driveway. Kate shuts the back door of a police car. Ryan is sitting in the back seat. She walks over to where Angel and Seth are standing. Kate to Seth: "Social services will take over from here. They'll want to speak to your son alone first." Seth: "When will we get to see him?" Kate: "Not until tomorrow." Seth: "Well, what's gonna happen to him?" Kate: "We won't know until after the evaluation." Angel to Kate: "Thanks for coming by, Kate." She just looks at him for a moment, then nods and walks away. Seth watching as Ryan is driven away: "I won't be able to cover for him anymore. They're gonna want to know about Ohio - and everything. - I wanted to protect him." Angel: "I know." Seth looks over at Angel: "I was just trying to hold my family together." Angel looks over at where Paige and Stephanie stand together wrapped in a blanket and Seth looks over as well. Angel: "I think you did." Seth nods slightly at Angel then goes over and picks Stephanie up in his arms. The camera pans up as we watch Angel walk over to where Cordy and Wesley are waiting next to his car.	Plan: A: a vision; Q: How did Cordelia learn about the ancient Ethros demon? A: Ryan Anderson; Q: Who is the young boy that the Ethros demon has been possessing? A: years; Q: How long had the Ethros demon been possessing Ryan Anderson? A: an exorcism; Q: What did Angel, Wesley and Cordelia perform to expel the demon from Ryan Anderson? A: the mass-murdering Ethros demon; Q: What is not the biggest threat to the Anderson family's well-being? A: the biggest threat; Q: What does the demon not pose to the Anderson family? A: his own right; Q: What is Ryan Anderson evil in? A: the home; Q: What does Ryan Anderson set on fire to try to kill his family? Summary: Cordelia has a vision about an ancient Ethros demon, which turns out to have been possessing a young boy, Ryan Anderson, for years. Angel, Wesley and Cordelia perform an exorcism that expels the demon from the child, but it escapes the trap they set and roams free to possess once more. Even worse, they learn that the mass-murdering Ethros demon does not pose the biggest threat to the Anderson family's well-being, their son Ryan is evil in his own right, the Ethros demon had been trying to escape from the boy. The boy then sets fire to the home trying to kill his family.
[OPENING TITLES] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Edith hands out the post.] Lady Edith: Mary, the men are arranging the concert now and they're so anxious for us both to be in it or there'll be no girls at all. Please say you will. Lady Mary: Do I have to? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Yes, you do. Keeping their spirits up is an important part of the cure and it's so very little to ask. Isobel Crawley: What's going on? Lady Edith: The men are putting on a concert. Isobel Crawley: Can I help? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Edith has it under control. Lady Edith: I do if Mary's willing. Lady Mary: Oh, all right. One song, and that's your lot. Isobel Crawley: What time is Dr Clarkson round? Cora, Countess of Grantham: It's already happened. Isobel Crawley: Without me? Why? I'm not very late. Cora, Countess of Grantham: We didn't see the need to wait. Mrs Hughes, I need to steal you for a minute. I have to check the linen books. Isobel Crawley: But I went over them last week. Mrs Hughes: Very good, milady. I'll get started. Isobel Crawley: Surely I can-- Cora, Countess of Grantham: Anna, can you tell Mrs Patmore it'd be easier for me to go through the menus this afternoon. Anna: Of course, Your Ladyship. Isobel Crawley: Cousin Cora-- Cora, Countess of Grantham: Please, can it wait? I've a mountain to get through. [Isobel's left standing in the entry with her clipboard, feeling superfluous.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RECREATION ROOM - MORNING] Lady Edith: There's a parcel for you. Officer: Thank you. Lady Edith: There's a little one for you. [Edith hands a small package to an officer.] Lady Edith: This one looks as if it's been opened, but it hasn't. [Lady Edith hears a giggle and looks over to see Ethel leaning close to Major Bryant.] Lady Edith: Ethel, have you nothing to do? [Ethel leaves just as Mrs Hughes enters.] Major Bryant: I was keeping her talking. You mustn't blame her. Lady Edith: I don't. [Mrs Hughes looks disapprovingly at Major Bryant and walks away.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE DOWER HOUSE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mary and Violet walk towards the house.] Lady Mary: What a lovely day. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Are you quite sure about Lavinia? Lady Mary: She wasn't Sir Richard's mistress. She gave him the evidence to settle a debt of...someone she loved. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: And this is your beau, is it? A man who lends money, then uses it to blackmail the recipient? Lady Mary: He lives in a tough world. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: (sigh) And will you be joining him there? Lady Mary: Richard Carlisle is powerful. He's rich and getting richer. He wants to buy a proper house, you know. With an estate. He says, "After the war, the market will be flooded and we can take our pick." Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh. [Violet walks towards a bench.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: And you can dance on the grave of a fallen family. [They sit.] Lady Mary: They will fall. Lots of them. Some won't rise again, but I don't intend to be among them. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: That leaves Matthew. Lady Mary: That's done now, Granny. Finished. It's time to move forward. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: What about Sybil? Does she have anyone in her sights? Lady Mary: Not that I know of. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Are you sure she has no chap in mind? How odd. I had an endless series of crushes at her age. Lady Mary: I don't think so. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Not even some man she doesn't care to mention? Lady Mary: What do you mean? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, war breaks down barriers, and when peacetime re-erects them, it can be very easy to find oneself on the wrong side. Lady Mary: Really, Granny. How can you say that I am too worldly, but Sybil's not worldly enough? You cannot be so contrary. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I'm a woman, Mary. I can be as contrary as I choose. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] Isobel Crawley: But I don't understand. The patients are always served their luncheon at half past twelve. Mrs Patmore: Well, today they'll be served at one. Mrs Hughes: Is there something I can help with? Isobel Crawley: Mrs Patmore seems to be disobeying my instructions, and I can't get to the reason why. Mrs Hughes: If you mean the patients' new lunchtime, Her Ladyship felt that it made the staff luncheon unreasonably early. She moved it so that they could eat at noon. Isobel Crawley: But that will interfere with the nurses' shifts. Mrs Hughes: Oh, no, she's altered those, too. Isobel Crawley: Has she indeed? Well, we'll see about that. [Isobel leaves.] Mrs Hughes: It was always a question of when. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S WRITING ROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Isobel knocks at the door and opens it.] Isobel Crawley: May I have a word? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Can it wait? Isobel Crawley: No, it cannot wait. [Isobel enters and closes the door.] Isobel Crawley: I've just come from downstairs where I learned that my timetable has been wantonly disregarded. Cora, Countess of Grantham: If you mean the new lunchtime, the wretched servants were having to eat at eleven, and then starve until their tea at six. So, I felt-- Isobel Crawley: I also discovered that you've torn up the nurses' timetable. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I've haven't torn up anything-- Isobel Crawley: Of course, it would be foolish to accuse you of being unprofessional, since you've never had a profession in your life. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Now, just a minute-- Isobel Crawley: You may think that you have the right to ordain the universe, but in this field-- Cora, Countess of Grantham: No, not in this field. In this house, yes, I do have the right. Given me by Dr Clarkson, and by the law of the land. This is my house. And I am in charge right alongside you. And if you would stop your bullying-- Isobel Crawley: That's enough, I will not listen to this. [Cora glares at Isobel.] Isobel Crawley: If I am not appreciated here, I will seek some other place where I will make a difference. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Good. Isobel Crawley: I mean it! I cannot operate where I am not valued. You must see that. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Certainly. [Isobel's face falls.] Isobel Crawley: I shall go. I will. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Perhaps it would be best. [Isobel starts to panic.] Isobel Crawley: I repeat, I mean it. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I'm sure you do. And so do I. [Cora turns back to her desk and Isobel's jaw drops.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON GARAGE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Sybil visits Branson while he works on the car.] Lady Sybil: Why did you promise Carson not to stage anymore protests when you wouldn't promise me? [Branson looks at Sybil.] Branson: I had my reasons. Lady Sybil: You won't be content to stay at Downton forever, will you? Tinkering away at an engine instead of fighting for freedom? I thought you'd join the rising in Dublin last Easter. Branson: Might've...if it hadn't been put down in six short bloody weeks. But don't fret. The real fight for Ireland will come after the war and I'll be ready for it. [Mary pauses on her way to the garage when she sees them talking.] BRANSON (distant) You're not the only one. [Back to Branson and Sybil.] Branson: The truth is, I'll stay in Downton until you want to run away with me. Lady Sybil: Don't be ridiculous. Branson: You're too scared to admit it, but you're in love with me. Lady Mary: Branson, could you take me into Ripon at three? [To Sybil] I'm getting some things for Mama, is there anything you want? Lady Sybil: Nothing you can find in Ripon. [Sybil gives Branson an irritated look as she marches off. Branson watches her leave and Mary watches Branson before turning back to the house. ] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON COTTAGE HOSPITAL, OFFICE - DAY] Dr Clarkson: Well, it is her house. Isobel Crawley: Does that mean she's suddenly received a medical training? Dr Clarkson: No. Isobel Crawley: Or are you like everyone else in thinking that, because she's a countess, she has acquired universal knowledge by divine intervention? Dr Clarkson: Mrs Crawley, convalescent homes are not about medical training. They are far more to do with good food, fresh air, and clean sheets. Isobel Crawley: Very well. I've had a letter from a cousin in Paris who is working for the wounded and missing inquiry department. They've opened a branch in northern France under the aegis of the Red Cross. I shall offer them my services. Dr Clarkson: That's-- that's very drastic. Isobel Crawley: I have to go where I am useful. And that place, I'm afraid, is no longer Downton Abbey. Dr Clarkson: You'll be missed. Isobel Crawley: By you, possibly. I hope so, anyway. But not, I think, by Lady Grantham. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RECREATION ROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Edith plays and Mary sings as they practice for the concert.] Lady Mary: ♫ If you were the only girl in the world and I were the only boy. ♫ [Robert enters as they finish and applauds with the officers.] Lady Edith: (sighs) I wish we had a man. Lady Mary: Amen. Lady Edith: It would sound so much richer. But all the volunteers are spoken for. [Mary walks to her father.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: How's it going? Lady Mary: All right, I suppose. If you don't mind singers who can't sing and actors who can't act. Robert, Earl of Grantham: It helps to keep their spirits up. Lady Mary: So they say. Although I can't think why. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I had a letter this morning from Sir Richard Carlisle. Lady Mary: Oh? Robert, Earl of Grantham: He-- [Robert waits for an officer to pass by.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: He tells me he proposed when he was staying here. He apologises for not asking my permission, but he's asking it now. Well, have you decided? Is that why he's written? Lady Mary: No. But I have made the decision. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Which is? Lady Mary: I think I should take him. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Do you really, my darling? I wish I could believe in your motives. Lady Mary: Why? What were your motives when you married Mama? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Your mother has made me very happy. Lady Mary: Perhaps Sir Richard will make me very happy. Robert, Earl of Grantham: What about Matthew? Lady Mary: Not you, too. Poor Matthew. What must he do to persuade you he's in love with Lavinia? Open his chest and carve her name on his heart? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Write to him. Tell him of your plans with Carlisle. You owe him that. Lady Mary: I don't think I owe him anything. But I'll write to him if you like. [Robert watches her leave.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Branson packs Isobel's bags on the car.] Isobel Crawley: I'll try to send you an address, but you can always get me through the Red Cross. Mr Molesley: Very good, Ma'am. [Isobel turns to the maid/cook.] Isobel Crawley: And I'll try to contact Captain Crawley, explain to him what's happened. If he does get leave, he'll probably come to me or stay in London. But if I miss him, and he turns up here, I know you'll look after him. Mrs Bird: Of course I will, Ma'am. Isobel Crawley: Cook him what he likes, not what's good for him. [Mrs Bird chuckles.] Mrs Bird: Y--you don't know when you'll be back? [Isobel steps into the car.] Isobel Crawley: I don't think one knows anything in wartime. I'll try to give you warning. But in the mean time, look after yourselves. Now, I mustn't miss my train. [Branson closes the door. Molesley and Bird smile at Isobel and she looks upset as she contemplates her decision for a moment before they drive off.] Mr Molesley: So, what now? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY SYBIL'S BEDROOM - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Sybil finishes her hair as Mary enters.] Lady Mary: Anna said you were honouring us with your presence at dinner. Lady Sybil: It's easier here in the hospital. And I can always get changed back into my uniform if I need to. Lady Mary: What were you talking to Branson about? When I came into the yard? Lady Sybil: Nothing. [Sybil walks away from the mirror.] Lady Mary: Then why were you there? Lady Sybil: Why were you there? Lady Mary: Because I was ordering the motor. That is why one talks to chauffeurs, isn't it? To plan journeys by road. Lady Sybil: He is a person. He can discuss other things. Lady Mary: I'm sure he can. But not with you. Lady Sybil: What do you want from me? Am I to see if Sir Richard Carlisle has a younger brother? One who's even richer than he is? Lady Mary: Darling, what's the matter with you? I'm on your side. Lady Sybil: Then be on my side! [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BATTLEFRONT, TRENCHES - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew reads Mary's letter.] Lady Mary: "So there we have it. I look forward to introducing the two of you, just as soon as you are next at home, which naturally, I trust will be very soon indeed. Please be glad for me, as I will always be for you. Your affectionate cousin, Mary." [note actually reads: "...happy to hear has come to pass. I look forward to introducing you to Sir Richard, just as soon as..."] Matthew Crawley: No, we don't need anyone with us. The Sergeant knows what we're doing. [Matthew picks up the stuffed dog that Mary gave him, which is sitting next to Lavinia's picture.] William: But what are we patrol in for? Matthew Crawley: You've been taking those logic pills again. This is the army, Mason. We're going on a patrol, because we're going on a patrol. William: Has Mary set a date yet for the wedding? Matthew Crawley: She doesn't say. I think she's hoping the war will be over soon and they can set a date then. William: She could've waited and told you when she saw you. Matthew Crawley: I don't think she knows I'm due back. Have you warned Daisy or will it be a surprise? William: No, I told her we're coming to Downton first. Then I'll visit me dad and go back to see her for a day at the end. Matthew Crawley: Just think fresh Yorkshire air followed by London and Miss Swire. William: All right for some, sir. Matthew Crawley: You'd never swap though, would you? William: No, I'd never swap. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COURTYARD - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Thomas and O'Brien on a smoke break.] O'Brien: Bates in a pub? I can't see that. I think your pal's mistaken. [Daisy walks by.] Thomas: He met him here twice before the war. Listen, "I said to him, 'Hello, Mr Bates.' and he walked off and wouldn't serve me after." O'Brien: Next thing you know, we'll have Anna running across the county dragging him back by his stick. Thomas: I'm surprised he isn't here of his own accord with His Lordship having no valet since the loony went. O'Brien: Don't speak ill of Mr Lang. Thomas: You're a funny one. Talk about sweet and sour. Better get back. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - DAY] Mrs Bird: Want a cup? Mr Molesley: Not really. Mrs Bird: What were you doing? Mr Molesley: Let's see. I've tidied the study, twice. And I've rearranged the coats in the hall. I might check his clothes for moth. What about you? Mrs Bird: We've cleaned everything three times over. And I've sent Beth into the village for some eggs to pickle, though the mistress doesn't really like them. Mr Molesley: Well, she never eats properly anyway. Not on her own. I [?] can't do much with supper on a tray. [A dirty, homeless man walks into the kitchen with a cane.] Stranger: Beg pardon for troubling you, only the door was open. Mr Molesley: Yeah, but the front gate was not. Stranger: No. Mrs Bird: What do you want? Stranger: Have you got any spare food? Mrs Bird: Spare food? What's that when it's at home? [The man nods and starts to leave.] Mr Molesley: Hang on, hang on. Wait. You from around here? Stranger: Not far. I used to work on the farm once, but, er... [He indicates his cane and bad leg.] Stranger: Not anymore. Mr Molesley: You get that in the war? Stranger: Don't pity me. I'm one of the lucky ones. [Moseley and Mrs Bird exchange a look.] Mrs Bird: I might have something for you. Mr Molesley: Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BATTLEFRONT - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew and William sneak along a hedgerow. A cigarette drops in front of Matthew and they duck into hiding. Germans stand around talking above them. Matthew motions and they head back the way they came. They rush through some woods and find some patrolling Germans. More German soldiers appear behind them. They make a run for it as the Germans open fire.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT/INT. DOWNTON, LORD GRANTHAM'S DRESSING ROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Molesley walks to Downton. He approaches Mr Carson who is sweeping Lord Grantham's uniform and knocks on the door frame.] Mr Carson: Hello, Mr Molesley. Mr Molesley: They told me you were up here. I hope you don't mind my bothering you. Mr Carson: Not a bit. What can I do for you? Mr Molesley: Well, actually, Mr Carson I've been thinking there might be something I could do for you. Mr Carson: Mm? Mr Molesley: That brushing, for instance. [Mr Carson chuckles and hands Mr Molesley the brush.] Mr Molesley: I don't like having nothing to do. What with Captain Crawley away at the war and with his mother in France alongside him, and then His Lordship's without a valet a--and your plate is piled so high. Mr Carson: I am quite occupied, it's true. Mr Molesley: So, I thought I'd look in and give you a hand. Brushing, mending, cleaning shoes, whatever's needed. Mr Carson: Well, that's kind of you, Mr Molesley. We shall have to watch ourselves or else His Lordship will want to pinch you off Captain Crawley. [Molesley chuckles.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - DAY] Daisy: But he said he'd be here by now and he's not. Mrs Hughes: You mustn't worry about him, Daisy. Daisy: I'm not worried like that exactly. But this is William. I think we should all be worried. Mrs Hughes: Anything might've happened. Maybe his leave was cancelled. At times like these, people vanish and turn up again in the strangest places. Daisy: Like Mr Bates in that pub. [Daisy realises Mrs Hughes has stopped walking and turns around to look at her.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - DAY] Mr Carson: Working in a public house? Daisy: That's what he said. I thought they'd have told you. Mr Carson: That doesn't seem likely that a trained valet like Mr Bates would be content to work in a public house. Daisy: Well, that's what he said. Mr Carson: Have you mentioned this to Anna? Daisy: I haven't said anything to anyone. I thought you all knew. Perhaps you should ask Thomas. Mr Carson: Oh, I will ask Thomas, don't you worry about that, my girl. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - EVENING] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Didn't it occur to you that we might be interested to hear it? Thomas: Not particularly. As far as I knew, Mr Bates had left your employment. Robert, Earl of Grantham: You didn't think to tell Carson? Thomas: I'm not under Mr Carson's command now, Your Lordship. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' HALL - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mrs Patmore finds Daisy reading at the table while Ethel knits and O'Brien sews.] Mrs Patmore: [?] Daisy! Go to bed before you strain your eyes. [Daisy heads out, but Thomas blocks her way as he enters.] Thomas: Thank you, Daisy for telling Mr Carson all about my private letter. Daisy: I didn't know it was a secret. Sorry if I was wrong. Thomas: There's no "if" about it. [Daisy leaves.] O'Brien: Why answer His Lordship at all? Thomas: What did you want me to do? Tell him to get knotted? O'Brien: He doesn't pay your wages. Thomas: I'll say. But I won't put you down for a career in diplomacy, then. O'Brien: What's he after? To get Bates back? Thomas: If Mr Bates wanted his job back, he'd have written for it himself. Ethel: Why would he want his job back? He's like you, he got away. Thomas: He's not very like me, thank you. Ethel: But you're both free of all the bowing and scraping and "Yes, my lord" and "No, my lord." I envy him. I envy you. 'Cause I'm ready for a new adventure and I don't care who hears me. O'Brien: Well, you know what they say, be careful what you wish for. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON, GROUNDS - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Sybil walks the grounds alone, mulling over what Branson said.] BRANSON (V.O.) But the truth is, I'll stay at Downton until you want to run away with me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LIBRARY - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Robert reads a telegram. Anna enters.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Ah, good morning, Anna. Anna: You sent for me, milord? Robert, Earl of Grantham: I did. Come in. I have something to tell you, but I hope I'm right. Carson didn't want you to be troubled with it. Anna: Is this about Mr Bates, milord? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Yes, it is. I've no wish to upset you, but it seems he may be back in Yorkshire working in a public house. We don't yet know where. Anna: The Red Lion in Kirkbymoorside. Robert, Earl of Grantham (surprised): Oh. You've seen him, then? Anna: I have. Yes, milord. Robert, Earl of Grantham: And he's well? Anna: He is. He's not been back to Downton for two reasons. He's hoping to settle certain matters first with Mrs Bates. Robert, Earl of Grantham: And does he think he can? Anna: He believes so, milord. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Very good. And what is his second reason for avoiding us? Anna: He says he parted with Your Lordship on bad terms. He felt it might be embarrassing. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Well, it is for me to feel embarrassed. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE VILLAGE - DAY] Mrs Patmore: I had to get out of that kitchen if I'm not to be found dead under the table. It's like cooking a banquet three times a day. Daisy: It is a lot of extra work, whatever they say. Even with the helpers. Mrs Patmore: Huh. Don't think they lighten the load. [They see a bunch of war-wounded men walking to the Crawley house.] Mrs Patmore: Mrs Bird? What's going on? Mrs Bird: I knew I'd be found out sooner or later. At least it's you. Mrs Patmore: Found out doing what? Mrs Bird: What does it look like? Mrs Patmore: Well, I don't know what it looks like. Except some kind of soup kitchen. Mrs Bird: You better come inside. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE, KITCHEN - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [The men gather to get food.] Mrs Bird: One at a time. Take a piece of bread Mrs Patmore: Right. Daisy, stand there. Give them a bowl and a spoon. When did all this start? Mrs Bird: That fella turned up asking for food. Then he came back next day with a friend. And here we are. Daisy: What does Mrs Crawley say? Mrs Bird: She doesn't know yet. I suppose she'll put a stop to it when she gets back from France. Mrs Patmore: I hope not. Mrs Bird: To be honest, Mrs Patmore, I'm not sure I can manage much longer. Mrs Patmore: Well, how often do you do it? Mrs Bird: Plan to get it down to once a week and give 'em only the cheapest cuts, but it is my money. And I don't know how much-- Mrs Patmore: No, hold it right there. If we can't feed a few soldiers in our own village, them as have taken the bullet or worse for king and country, then I don't know what. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GREAT HALL - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Daisy walks in with a basket of firewood while the officers are sitting at tables around the room.] Daisy: Sorry about this, milady. Only there's no footmen to do it now. Lady Edith: I don't mind. You better run before Mrs Hughes sees you. Daisy: Milady, could I ask something? [Edith nods.] Daisy: Only, William, who was in service here... Lady Edith: I know William. Daisy: Well, he's missing. That is, he was supposed to be back on leave, but he never turned up. He wrote he was coming home for a few days with Captain Crawley. Lady Edith: Is William your beau? Daisy: I wouldn't say that. No, milady. We're all very fond of William downstairs. Lady Edith: Of course you are. Well, I'm sure it's nothing, but I'll see what I can find out. Daisy: Thank you. [Daisy goes back to building a fire.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LIBRARY - DAY] Robert, Earl of Grantham: But how do you know they didn't change their plans? Lady Edith: Well, of course I don't, but the poor girl seemed quite certain. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Just when Isobel is away and none of us know where she is. Typical. Lady Edith: I suppose Matthew might've heard from Cousin Isobel and decided to meet up in France instead. Robert, Earl of Grantham: But that wouldn't explain why William isn't here. I'll do what I can. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mrs Patmore orders the cook's helper at the stove.] Mrs Patmore: No! Don't stop stirring, the bottom'll burn. [Mrs Patmore orders the cook's helper carrying some chickens.] Mrs Patmore: You can leave those to Daisy. That's it Daisy. Put them in the special storage area. What do you want? O'Brien: Can I borrow some baking soda? Mrs Patmore: Borrow? Why? Are you planning to give it back? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING] Cora, Countess of Grantham: I might go over to Moulton tomorrow. Agatha [?] promoting her charity fair. Do you need the motor? Robert, Earl of Grantham: I'm afraid I do. Can you get Pratt to take you in the other car? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Doesn't matter, I can go on Monday. But why? Robert, Earl of Grantham: I'm told Bates is working at a public house in Kirkbymoorside. I want to investigate. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I can't decide which part of that speech is the most extraordinary. Why can't someone else go? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Because I want to go myself. [The telephone rings and Carson goes to answer it.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: So, Sybil, what are you up to, dear? Lady Sybil: Nothing much. Working. I don't have time to get up to anything else. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Only, Mary and I were talking about you. You know, the other day. Lady Sybil: Oh? Lady Mary (mouths): I didn't say anything. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Yes, you see, sometimes in war, one can make friendships that aren't quite...appropriate. And can be awkward, you know, later on. I mean, we've all done it. I just want you to be on your guard. Lady Sybil: Appropriate for whom? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, don't jump down my throat, dear. I'm only offering friendly advice. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Why do you want to see Bates? To give him his old job back? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Not entirely. I mainly want to see him because we parted badly. [Carson re-enters.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Telephone call for you, milord. Cora, Countess of Grantham: If you did, I'm sure it's his fault. Robert, Earl of Grantham: No, it was mine. [Robert gets up from the table and exits into the next room, which is full of the officer's loud conversation.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, really. It's like living in a second rate hotel where the guests keep arriving and no one seems to leave. (sigh) [SCENE_BREAK] [After dinner, the ladies exit the dining room and Robert finishes up his phone call.] Robert, Earl of Grantham (on the telephone): I see. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I had an idea of going up to London for some... Robert, Earl of Grantham (on the telephone): Yes. Thank you for letting me know. Lady Edith: Are you all right, Papa? Robert, Earl of Grantham: That was the war office. Matthew and William went out on a patrol a few days ago and they haven't been seen since. Lady Edith: Oh, my God. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Let's not fall to pieces quite yet. It happens all the time, apparently, and the men turn up in one field hospital or another. Lady Edith: But they are treating them as Missing In Action? Robert, Earl of Grantham: It's too early for that. There could be lots of things to explain it. Lady Edith: You mean they could've been taken prisoner. Robert, Earl of Grantham: It's possible. Don't say anything to Mary. Or your mother. Or anyone, in fact. Not yet. I shouldn't really have told you. Lady Edith: What about Cousin Isobel? Robert, Earl of Grantham: I don't know how to contact her. Anyway, she's in France. She may hear before we do. [Robert takes Edith's hand.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - EVENING] O'Brien: I'm not accusing her of anything. I did wonder if you were aware of this special storage area. Mrs Hughes: I daresay Mrs Patmore has her own system like we all do. O'Brien: Right. Well, I'll say goodnight. Mrs Hughes: Goodnight. [O'Brien leaves as Mr Molesley puts on his jacket to leave.] Mrs Hughes: Ah, Mr Molesley. You're very late. Mr Molesley: I was doing some invisible mending on one of his coats. I got a bit carried away. But I'm-- I'm quite pleased with the way it turned out. Mrs Hughes: I don't see why you can't dress him. Until there's a new valet, it'd be a blessing to Mr Carson. Mr Molesley: I'd be happy to if it'd help. Mrs Hughes: Keep this up and we won't be able to do without you at all. Mr Molesley: There's no reason why you should. Oh, er, I may be wrong, but I thought I saw one of the officers by the main staircase just now. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Mrs Hughes: Let's hope so. Goodnight. [Molesley nods to her and exits. Mrs Hughes takes a breath and heads down the servants' bedroom corridor. She checks the housemaids' bedroom and finds Anna there, but not Ethel. Then she hears giggling and opens the next room and turns on the light to find Major Bryant naked under a sheet with Ethel.] Major Bryant: What the bloody...? Mrs Hughes: Ethel! Major Bryant: We were only-- Mrs Hughes: I know precisely what you were doing, Major. I may not be a woman of the world, but I don't live in a sack! Now, if you will kindly take your things and go downstairs. [Major Bryant goes without protest, a blanket wrapped around his waist.] Mrs Hughes: Ethel, you are dismissed without notice and without a character. You will please leave before breakfast. Ethel: I didn't think how-- Mrs Hughes: No. And that's a problem. You never do. [Mrs Hughes marches out angry and Ethel is left to panic over her situation.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - NIGHT] Mrs Bird: And you're not nervous? Mr Molesley: Well, I gather His Lordship knows his own mind, but I've no difficulty with that. Mrs Bird: You'll enjoy working in a big household. Better than staring at me night after night. What would you say if they ask you to stay? Mr Molesley: It would be a big step up for me, there's no point in denying it. Mrs Bird: Because I think they might. Mr Molesley: Do you really, Mrs Bird? Mrs Bird: There goes Mr Molesley, valet to the Earl of Grantham. [They laugh.] Mr Molesley (laughing): Stop it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOUSEMAIDS' BEDROOM - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Ethel cries as she packs.] Anna: But why? What could you have possibly done that's so terrible? Ethel: Have you taken everything of mine from there? [Anna goes to the wardrobe to get more of Ethel's things.] Anna: Would you like me to speak to her? Because I can. Ethel: No, she wouldn't listen. Anna: She's not a bad person, Mrs Hughes. I know she can be strict, but she's not-- Ethel: She wouldn't listen. [Anna tries to comfort Ethel as she breaks down.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE RED LION - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [The doorbell rings.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: We're closed. [Bates turns around to see Robert.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MRS HUGHES'S SITTING ROOM - MORNING] Anna: I know Ethel can be difficult, but she was very sorry for her mistake, whatever it was. Mrs Hughes: I'm sure. It's cost her her job. Anna: But surely-- Mrs Hughes: Nevermind why she's gone. She's gone. And there's an end to it. By the way, I hear Mr Bates is back in the county. Mr Carson says you know all about it. I gather His Lordship has gone to see him. Anna: I know. He told me he was going. Mrs Hughes: Why in heavens name didn't you mention any of it to me? Anna: It wasn't my secret to tell. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE RED LION - DAY] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I'm glad to hear it. But Carson said your wife made all sorts of threats. Mr Bates: She won't carry them out. Not now. Since I've left Downton, I've discovered that she was untrue to me. I may have been as bad in my heart, milord, but I've done nothing to be ashamed of. The point is, I can divorce her now, whether she likes it or not. Robert, Earl of Grantham: But what's to stop her blurting out her stories to the press? Mr Bates: If she agrees to keep silent, I will give her whatever she wants. She can't hold me now, so her choice is between poverty and plenty. Robert, Earl of Grantham: And what was the tale she was going to tell? Carson never made it clear. Mr Bates: Some silly nonsense, milord. I wouldn't waste your time with it. What's the news from Downton? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' HALL - DAY] Mrs Hughes: Daisy, you're not to worry about William. I spoke to His Lordship earlier. He says you're not to be concerned until we know more. Daisy: But he is missing. I mean, they don't know where he is, or Captain Crawley, do they? Mrs Hughes: There could be a hundred explanations. O'Brien: Yes. And one of them is that they're dead. Don't mistake me. I hope very much they're not. But we ought to face the truth. Mrs Hughes: What may be the truth. And what very well may not. [Mrs Hughes meets Anna on her way out.] Mrs Hughes: Anna, do you think that Mr Bates will come back? Anna: That's for him to say. Daisy: I hope he does. He always seems a romantic figure to me. O'Brien: Does he? How do you define romantic? Thomas: It's no good in thinking you can set up here without a moment's notice when you [?]. Mrs Hughes: Why is that, Thomas? Because a place is already taken? [Anna sits down across from Thomas and O'Brien.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE RED LION - DAY] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I hate the word "missing." It seems to leave so little room for optimism. I tell myself it's too early to despair...but to be honest, Bates, I don't think I can bear it. Losing Patrick was bad enough, but now the thought o Matthew gone...and the future once again destroyed. More than all that, I loved him like a son. No, I love him. Let's stay in the present tense while we still can. So, will you come back with me and help me through the veil of shadow? Mr Bates: It's not what I expected, my lord, but I will, if you want me to. [Robert nods.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I misjudged you Bates, and I abused you when we parted. I should've had more faith. I'm sorry. Mr Bates: God knows, you've shown more faith in my than I had any right to. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Daisy and Mrs Patmore carry baskets of food to Mrs Bird.] Mrs Patmore: Here you are. We have this [?] [O'Brien watches them from a distance.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mary enters the corridor to find Sybil pulling out some candles.] Lady Mary: Sybil. I never said anything to Granny, honestly. Lady Sybil: Then why did she suddenly start talking about inappropriate friendships out of nowhere? Lady Mary: She thinks you must have a beau, and if we don't know about him, then you have to be keeping him secret. It's just Granny being Granny. Don't make such a thing of it. Lady Sybil: I don't deserve to be told off. Not by her or by you. Nothing's happened. Lady Mary: Why? What might've happened? Lady Sybil: I mean it. We haven't kissed or anything. I don't think we've shaken hands. I'm not even sure if I like him like that. He says I do, but I'm still not sure. Lady Mary: We are talking about...? Lady Sybil: Branson. Yes. Lady Mary: The chauffeur? Branson? Lady Sybil: Oh, how disappointing of you. Lady Mary: I'm just trying to get it straight in my head. You and the chauffeur. Lady Sybil: Oh, no, you know I don't care about all of that. Lady Mary: Oh, darling, darling, don't be such a baby. This isn't fairyland. What did you think? You'd marry the chauffeur and we'd all come to tea? Lady Sybil: Don't be silly. I told you, I don't even think I like him. Lady Mary: What has he said to you? Lady Sybil: That he loves me and he wants me to run away with him. Lady Mary: Good God in heaven. Lady Sybil: He is frightfully full of himself. Lady Mary: You don't say. Lady Sybil: I haven't encouraged him. I haven't said anything, really. Lady Mary: You haven't given him away, though? LADY SYBIL (surprised and worried) Will you? Lady Mary: Well, I won't betray him on one condition: you must promise not to do anything stupid. [Sybil looks down.] Lady Mary: You must promise now, or I'll tell Papa tonight. LADY SYBIL (reluctant) I promise. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Bates enters through the servants' door with his bag. Mrs Hughes comes into the hallway, surprised to find Bates. She smiles.] Mrs Hughes: Mr Bates. You're a sight for sore eyes. Welcome home. Mr Bates: Thank you, Mrs Hughes. [Anna steps into the corridor.] Anna: Thought it was you. Mr Bates: Hello. Mrs Hughes: Come a way in, and give some substance to the gossip of your return. Mr Carson: You'll find things a bit different from when you left, Mr Bates. Mr Bates: Downton at war? Mr Carson: Precisely. There's some extra help in the kitchen, all very nice people. And the nurses of course, but they live down at the hospital. Anna: Except for Lady Sybil. Thomas: Nurse Crawley, please. Mr Bates: So, we've both returned, you and I. Couple of bad pennies. Thomas: I haven't. O'Brien: Thomas means he's not here as a servant. He manages the house. He's a sergeant now. Thomas: I take orders from Major Clarkson. He runs this place on behalf of the army medical corps. Mr Bates: Yet another reason to pray for peace. [Mrs Hughes smiles in amusement.] Mr Bates: I heard about William from His Lordship. And Captain Crawley. Anna: I'm sure they're all right. [They hear a door bang open and Mr Molesley runs down the corridor.] Mr Molesley: Sorry I'm late. Has the dressing gong rung yet? Mrs Hughes: You're not late, Mr Molesley, but er-- Mr Carson: Mr Bates is back, and you reminded me I better ring it now. Mr Molesley (still panting): Are you staying for good? Mr Bates: I'd need a crystal ball to answer that, but I'll stay for now. Have you been standing in for me? Mr Molesley: I was going to starting tonight, yeah. Mr Bates: Then you'll be relieved to see me. Mr Molesley: Oh, tremendously. Mr Bates: What's that? Mr Molesley: It's a new kind of shoehorn. I bought it for His Lordship. Mr Bates: That's very kind of you, Mr Molesley, thank you. [Mr Molesley is forced to give Bates the shoehorn. Carson rings the dressing gong in the distance.] Thomas: Daisy, fetch me some more tea. Daisy: Thomas, I've got dinner-- Thomas: Hot this time, and it's Sergeant Barrow to you. O'Brien: Watch yourself, Mr Bates. Thomas is in charge now, and it won't do to get on the wrong side of him. Mr Bates: Is there a right side? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S BEDROOM - EVENING] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Oh, I don't believe it. Why would she sell food to Mrs Bird? It makes no sense. O'Brien: Well, I can't confirm the details of the arrangement. Maybe they both sell it and divide the proceeds. Either way, I felt you should know. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Have you said anything to Mrs Hughes or Carson? O'Brien: I've tried with her, but there's none so blind as them that will not see. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I'm curious. Next time, come and fetch me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON GARAGE - EVENING] Lady Sybil: So, Bates is back. Papa must be pleased. Branson: And Mr Carson won't be sorry. Lady Sybil: Branson, there's something you ought to know. I've told Mary. Branson: I see. Well, that's me finished then. Without a reference. Lady Sybil: No, she's not like that. You don't know her. She wouldn't give us away. Branson: But you won't encourage us? Lady Sybil: No. Why are you smiling? I thought you'd be angry. Branson: Because that's the first time you've ever spoken about "us". [Sybil blushes, surprised by what she said.] Branson: If you didn't care, you would've told them months ago. Lady Sybil: Oh, I see. Because I don't want you to lose your job, it must mean I'm madly in love with you. Branson: Well, doesn't it? Lady Sybil: You say I'm a free spirit, and I hope I am. But you're asking me to give up my whole world and everyone in it. Branson: And that's too high a price to pay? Lady Sybil: It is a high price. I love my parents, you don't know them. And I love my sisters and my friends. Branson: I'm not asking you to give them up forever. And when they come around, I will welcome them with open arms. Lady Sybil: And what about your people? Would they accept me? And what about my work? Branson: What work? Bringing hot drinks to a lot of randy officers? Look, it comes down to whether or not you love me. That's all. That's it. The rest is detail. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COURTYARD - EVENING] Mr Bates: I've written to Vera spelling out the case and how she cannot win it. Then I have told her I will be generous if she will cooperate. Anna: But you're ready to give her everything. Because I am. Mr Bates: Whatever it takes, I want a clean break and not an open wound if we can just be patient a little while longer. [Anna nods and Bates pulls her to his chest.] Mr Bates: We shouldn't be outside. It's cold. Anna: I'll be patient and bear anything. Except for you to go away again. Mr Bates: No. It's done. You're stuck with me now. For good an proper. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. UPSTAIRS CORRIDOR - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Edith meets Mary in the corridor.] Lady Edith: There's something you ought to know. Papa said not to tell you, but I don't think he's right. Lady Mary: Go on. Lady Edith: Matthew's missing. He was on patrol and he's just sort of...vanished. Papa hasn't told anyone. Not even Mama. I only know because I was there when he found out. It didn't seem right to keep you in the dark. [Mary nods.] Lady Edith: I'm not trying to upset you, truly. Lady Mary: For once in my life, I believe you. [Mary continues down the corridor and stops around the corner, overcome. Anna walks into the corridor and finds Mary close to tears.] Anna: They've told you, then. Lady Mary: Do they all know downstairs? [Anna nods.] Anna: William's missing, too. I think everyone knows except Her Ladyship. Lady Mary: I wish Edith had left it till the morning. I could've faced it all with one more night of sleep. [Anna leads Mary into another room.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE, KITCHEN - MORNING] Mr Molesley: [?] this is hot. Mrs Patmore: Daisy, spoons! Unless they're to drink directly from the bowl. Mr Molesley: Oh, oh. Mrs Bird: Do you think we have enough? Mr Molesley: Oh, you'll feed about fifty, I reckon. Mrs Bird: You got some more? Mrs Patmore: Yeah, that's the reckon. [Cora and O'Brien enter.] Mr Molesley: Yeah, there's plenty there. Mrs Bird: ...vegetable one... Mr Molesley: You won't have to feed a vegetable one.. [They all stare at Cora nervously.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: May we come in? Mrs Patmore: Your Ladyship. What a surprise. Cora, Countess of Grantham: O'Brien seemed to think that you and Mrs Bird were engaged in a commercial venture of some sort, so I came to see for myself. Mrs Bird: We are not, Your Ladyship. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I agree, that's not what it looks like. Mrs Patmore: We feed these men once a week, and I'm not ashamed of it. I--I'll be back before luncheon at the big house. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I'm sure. But is it true they're fed from our kitchens? Daisy: Only the stuff the army gives. They are soldiers. O'Brien: What did I tell you? Mrs Patmore: Daisy's right. We only use the food the army pay for, and all the men have served their country. [They all wait nervously for Cora's next move.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: In future, I would prefer it if you would use food paid for by the house. I don't want the army to accuse us of mismanagement. O'Brien: You mean, you're going to let them get away with it? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Oh, more than that, I'm going to help them. And so are you. Molesley. Mr Molesley: Ma'am. Cora, Countess of Grantham: If you'd bring that table over, I suggest we divide the food. Then we can form two lines and it will go faster. [The servants smile at each other.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: O'Brien, you can manage the bread. [Cora takes off her coat.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Daisy. Daisy: Of course, milady. Cora, Countess of Grantham: What is it? Mr Molesley: Beef stew, ma'am. [Daisy directs the men to the kitchen.] Daisy: Stand over right there. [They all dish up food the soldiers as they enter the kitchen.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GREAT HALL - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Robert talks with some officers. Dr Clarkson sees Thomas enter the room.] Dr Clarkson: Sergeant, one moment. [Thomas stops.] Dr Clarkson: I hear you're becoming mighty imperious in your manner with the staff here. Er, Daisy in particular. Just because you're a poacher turned gamekeeper, there's no need for rudeness. Thomas: No, sir. Dr Clarkson: So, mind what I say. [Thomas nods.] Dr Clarkson: Carry on. [Thomas leaves.] Dr Clarkson: I've done as you've asked, Mrs Hughes. I think Barrow has taken it on board. Mrs Hughes: He's getting grander than Lady Mary and that's saying something. [Dr Clarkson chuckles.] Dr Clarkson: Lady Grantham. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Hello, Dr Clarkson. [Dr Clarkson exits and Robert watches Cora as she ascends the stairs.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' HALL - DAY] O'Brien: It was Bates. I saw him watching you. He must've gone straight to the Major and sneaked on you the moment your back was turned. Thomas: Oh, well. Some things never change. O'Brien: Don't worry. He's more vulnerable than when he was last here. Thomas: Why? O'Brien: Because we know more. That's why. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S BEDROOM - DAY] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Why haven't you told me till now? Robert, Earl of Grantham: I'm not sure. Perhaps I envied your ignorance. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I'm not giving up hope. Not yet. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Nor me, of course. But I think we should start to prepare. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Isobel doesn't know. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I haven't been able to reach her. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Have you said anything to Mary? [Mary appears in the doorway.] Lady Mary: Edith's already told me. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Has she? [Mary nods.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Well, I suppose it was too tempting to resist. Lady Mary: Oddly enough, I don't think she was trying to make trouble. Cora, Countess of Grantham: We ought to go down. It's time for the concert. Lady Mary: Who cares about the stupid concert? Robert, Earl of Grantham: The men do, and we should, too. Because we have to keep going whatever happens. We have to help each other to keep going. [Cora grasps Mary's hand as she and Robert head out. Mary stares at herself in the mirror across the room for a moment, then composes herself.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LIBRARY - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Edith plays the piano as an accent to Major Bryant's magic act. Edith tends to some of the officers.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Cora tells me Matthew's gone missing. Is that true? Robert, Earl of Grantham: There's no proof of anything yet. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I see. I need more than that to make me anxious. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I'm glad you would be anxious. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Of course I would be. We're used to Matthew now. God knows who the next heir will be. Probably a-- a chimney sweep from Solihull. [The audience applauds as Bryant finished his magic act. Edith turns around and nods to Mary, who walks to the front.] Lady Mary: Most of you won't know how rare it is to see my sister Edith and I pulling together in a double act. Cora, Countess of Grantham: A unicorn if ever there was one. Lady Mary: But in wartime, we - like all of you - have more important things to worry about. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the Crawley sisters. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, now I've seen everything. Lady Mary: ♫ Some times when I feel bad and things look blue I wish a pal I had, say one like you Someone within my heart to build a throne Someone who'd never part to call my own ♫ All: ♫ If you were the only girl in the world and I were the only boy ♫ [Branson watches Sybil as she sings.] All: ♫ Nothing else would matter in the world today We could go on loving in the same old way ♫ [Mary stops singing when she sees Matthew.] All: ♫ A garden... ♫ [The chorus fades out as they turn to see who Mary is looking at. Cora and Robert stand up in delight and Robert goes to shake Matthew's hand.] Lady Mary (whisper): Thank God. Robert, Earl of Grantham: My dear boy. My very dear boy. Matthew Crawley: Come on, don't stop for me. ♫ I would say such wonderful things to you ♫ [Matthew walks up the aisle to stand with Mary.] Matthew Crawley & Mary: ♫ There would be such wonderful things to do ♫ All: ♫ If you were the only girl in the world and I were the only boy ♫ [The audience applauds. William catches Daisy's eye. Smiles all around. Mary barely able to maintain her composure in her shock and joy.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GREAT HALL - EVENING] Matthew Crawley: Somehow we got lost and then we were trapped behind some Germans for three days, and when we got out of that, we stumbled into a field dressing station and we were immediately admitted. But we weren't in any danger, so they didn't inform our unit. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Well, they should've jolly well told us when you got back to base. Matthew Crawley: I hope you weren't really worried. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Oh, you know us. We like to be sure of our hero at the front. Mrs Hughes: I beg your pardon, milord, but the Dowager Countess is leaving. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Ah. [Robert leaves.] Lady Mary: What will you do with the rest of your leave? Matthew Crawley: Well, since mother isn't here, I think I'll run up to London and see Lavinia. Lady Mary: Ah. [Mary nods, trying not to show her disappointment.] Matthew Crawley: I got your letter about Carlisle. Lady Mary: I hope you'll approve. I know you don't like him much now-- Matthew Crawley: I hardly know him, but I'm sure I'll like him when I do. That's if he's good to you. If he's not, he'll have me to answer to. [Anna walks to the servants' door with a tray and meets Bates.] Mr Bates: Who would've thought an amateur concert could be the summit of all joy? I've lived in such a fog of misery since I left you. I think I'd forgotten what happiness is. Anna: Me too. But now we must get used to feeling happy, and trust it. Mr Bates: God, I want to. [They smile at each other and Anna continues through the servants' door. Thomas and O'Brien have been watching.] O'Brien: Love's young dream, I don't think. Thomas: I'm not sure I care much. O'Brien: You going soft in your old age? Thomas: I don't like him because he's a patronizing bstrd who sneaks behind me back, but I've got other things to worry about. O'Brien: Really? That's interesting. Thomas: Why? O'Brien: Because obviously I hold a grudge longer than you. [William talks with Mrs Patmore and Daisy.] Mrs Patmore: I knew nothing bad had happened. I felt it in me waters. William: What about you? Did you have me boxed up and buried? Daisy: I'm glad you're all right, honest. William: You should be. It's the thought of you that keeps me going. [A maid whispers something to Mrs Hughes. Major Bryant talks to another officer behind them.] Major Bryant: I think it will. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mrs Hughes walks down the dark stairway.] Mrs Hughes: Hello? Hello? [Ethel steps slowly out of Mrs Hughes's dark sitting room.] Mrs Hughes: Ethel! What on earth are you doing here? Ethel: I had to come, Mrs Hughes. I'm sorry to push in, but I was sitting alone until I couldn't stand it no more. You've got to help me. Mrs Hughes: I haven't got to do anything. But what do you mean? "Help" with what? Is this about Major Bryant? [Ethel nods.] Mrs Hughes: I blame myself for not stepping in earlier, that I will admit. How long had it been going on? Ethel: Long enough to get me pregnant. Mrs Hughes, I'm going to have a baby.	Plan: A: March 1918; Q: When did Ethel announce she was pregnant with Bryant's child? A: Major Bryant; Q: Who is Ethel flirting with? A: Mrs Hughes; Q: Who found Ethel and Bryant in bed together? A: Preparations; Q: What is under way for a concert at Downton? A: Cora; Q: Who does Isobel have a disagreement with? A: Edith; Q: Who receives worrying news about Matthew and William? A: Branson; Q: Who declares his feelings for Sybil again? A: Lord Grantham; Q: Who visits Bates at a pub? A: a nearby pub; Q: Where does Lord Grantham visit Bates? A: Carlisle; Q: Who wrote a letter to Lord Grantham? A: Mary; Q: Who does Lord Grantham have an uncomfortable conversation with about Carlisle? Summary: March 1918. Ethel continues flirting with Major Bryant; when Mrs Hughes finds them in bed together, she dismisses Ethel. Later, she returns, announcing she is pregnant with Bryant's child. Preparations are under way for a concert at Downton. Tensions flare between Isobel and Cora, while Edith receives worrying news about Matthew and William. Branson declares his feelings for Sybil again. Lord Grantham visits Bates at a nearby pub where he is working. Lord Grantham receives a letter from Carlisle, which causes him concern and forces an uncomfortable conversation with Mary.
(Ops center, Sydney and Vaughn. Missed few lines.) SYDNEY: --told us where he is. (Elsewhere, Mashall confides in Weiss.) MARSHALL: So, Carrie and I went out. It was great. We got sushi. When we got there, the guy behind the counter, like, little sushi, they were like, "Heeeeeeeeeeey!" You know, when we got there, like, they knew us. WEISS: They do that at a lot of sushi places. MARSHALL: Really? Oh. Anyway, it was great. We had a fantastic meal and... WEISS: So what's the problem? MARSHALL: Well, post-fish, when I went to drop her off, this is traditionally, clasically the time where I would -- or a man would -- kiss her. And, well, I just started sweating. WEISS: How bad? MARSHALL: Bad. Weird bad. Freak show bad. WEISS: Did she notice? MARSHALL: Did she notice? It was like I had just gotten out of a lap pool. WEISS: Okay, you need help. MARSHALL: Yeah, with the ladies. WEISS: The thing is, it's sort of a catch-22. (His computer beeps.) MARSHALL: Go ahead, keep going, I'm listening. (He starts typing as Weiss talks.) WEISS: Because, you see, to feel comfortable around a woman you have to have experience and to have experience it sounds like you have to not be you. I was almost killed last year and the doctors actually didn't think I was going to make it and the thing I did learn from that experience-- (Marshall's eyes get wide and he takes off running.) WEISS: Thanks. (As Marshall runs through the ops center, he grabs a sheet off of the printer and keeps running up to Sydney and Vaughn at her desk.) MARSHALL: Syd -- excuse me -- we're receiving intel on a local top-secret server from a source outside the building. SYDNEY: Who's sending the signal? MARSHALL: Your mother. (Marshall and Sydney catch up with Kendall as he walks.) SYDNEY: We just got an upload. KENDALL: And I just left you a message. SYDNEY: It's the DNA string of the person who was doubled. Mr. Kendall, I'm going to ask that as soon as Will Tippin is located we bring him in to compare this to his DNA. MARSHALL: We're verifying the data now, sir, but it looks legit. Legitimate. KENDALL: Yeah, I know what legit means. (At a cheap motel, Will and Francie are in a room together. Will stands by the window, peeking out through the blinds.) FRANCIE: What else do they know? Did Sydney tell you what the CIA knows, or Jack? WILL: I didn't say Jack was involved. FRANCIE: Of course you did. You said, in the car, you mentioned his name. WILL: God, I'm losing my mind. The CIA doesn't know anything, that's the problem. (Francie enters the bathroom and shuts the door halfway.) FRANCIE: It doesn't make sense, does it? The entire CIA and they have no idea who the double is. (She takes out a tube of lipstick and removes the lipstick. She flips open the face of her ring.) WILL: It just shows you how wrong they can be. And now they think I'm a killer. Which I am, by the way. I killed people. (He stretches out on the bed.) FRANCIE: People who were trying to kill you. (In the center of the face on her ring is a small point, like a needle. She uses the empty lipstick container to drop a liquid onto the needle in her ring.) WILL: So what, does that make it easy, or... or... Francie, I ended someone's life. Two people's lives. I'm a killer! I shouldn't be yelling this. (She comes back into the room and gets on the bed next to him, sliding her ring hand behind his neck. She kisses him. When he cups her face, he breaks the kiss.) WILL: You're warm. (She flips open the ring out of his line of sight and is about to stab him in the neck with it. SWAT team-like guards barge into the room, flashlights and guns pointed. Francie and Will sit up, hands in the air.) GUARD: Hold it! Hands where I can see him! Yeah, it's him! It's Tippin! (Will sits on a bed while doctors tend to him, taking his blood. He looks scared.) (In the cell, Sydney enters and approaches him.) WILL: So tell me. SYDNEY: We received a file, a DNA string, of the person who was doubled. WILL: And? SYDNEY: Your DNA didn't match and there was no Provacillium in your blood. You've been cleared. (Will hugs her.) WILL: Thank God for you... SYDNEY: You're okay. WILL: What about Francie? SYDNEY: Francie's been questioned, she's at home. She's fine. WILL: Thank you. Oh, what I said before about not trusting you... SYDNEY: Will, don't worry about it. WILL: I was scared to death, I didn't mean any of those things. You know that. I trust you more than I trust anyone. SYDNEY: Sorry about the cell. They're going to need you to stay here for a while, they've got a lot of questions. WILL: Okay. SYDNEY: And there's a therapist who's going to work with you to try to reverse your memory conditioning. WILL: That file, the DNA string, was there a name attached to it? SYDNEY: There was but we don't have any leads yet. WILL: What was the name? SYDNEY: A.G. Doren. (Hockey rink. Sydney and Vaughn.) SYDNEY: I'm just so relieved for him, it's like I can breathe again. VAUGHN: You know where it's fun to breathe? Santa Barbara. You ever been? SYDNEY: Yeah, I love it. The zoo, that giraffe with the crooked neck. VAUGHN: No, I mean, the beach, the Biltmore, the food. La Superica -- you ever been there? SYDNEY: No. VAUGHN: Okay, we're going this weekend. SYDNEY: Yeah, come on, as if we can go. There'll be some emergency, some-- (A cell rings. She gives him a look and reaches in her pocket where she's been keeping both their cell phones.) SYDNEY: Yours. (She hands it over.) VAUGHN: Yeah? Yeah, practice is over. Why? No, that wasn't going to be me. What do you mean, Marky's sick? How sick? Weiss, come on, man. Okay, okay, okay. Okay! Goodbye. (He hangs up.) VAUGHN: I have to go in. SYDNEY: I'm gonna stay here and practice so I can kick your ass next time. VAUGHN: Oh really? Don't forget about Santa Barbara. SYDNEY: Yeah, someday. (They kiss. He skates away. Sydney, on wobbly legs, skates to the blue line while handling the puck a bit. She stops and turns. Irina stands near the boards. Sydney skates over.) IRINA: You received my intel. Your friend was cleared. I told you I'd want a favor. This is it. 266 Kroner Strasse in Zurich. I've just given you the address of Sloane's warehouse where he's hiding the Rambaldi artifacts. SYDNEY: That's not why you're here. IRINA: Yes. It's the only reason. SYDNEY: I know you're lyuing, of course you are, but I don't know why... IRINA: Sydney, I'm here to help you. (Sydney, full of anger, boldly skates over to her mother with a hockey stick in hand. Irina grabs the stick and Sydney falls flat on her back, hitting her head on the ice. Irina leans over.) IRINA: Stop being as stubborn as I am! I knew from the beginning when I turned myself in that I would betray the CIA, but not you. ("Trust Me" : Sydney meets with her mom.) IRINA: (voice over) I had to be careful. I needed you to trust me but I also couldn't tell you my plan. Sloane had twenty-three Rambaldi artifacts, the CIA had twenty-four. (Back on the ice.) IRINA: In order to assemble the device, they all had to be brought together. Those are the pieces in Sloane's warehouse. SYDNEY: You stole Rambaldi pieces from the US government? IRINA: Yes... by winning your trust, the CIA's trust. ("Counteragent" : Sark hands a piece of paper to Sloane, in the ambulance.) IRINA: (voice over) And then as planned I had a proposal delivered to Sloane, a proposal that we work together to take down the ALliance and raid the CIA, all at once. ("A Higher Echelon" : Irina uses the computers.) IRINA: (voice over) I came up with a scenario where the CIA needed to let me use their computer. I used the opportunity to learn where the US government kept its stash of Rambaldi artifacts. (Back on the ice.) IRINA: They were being held at a secure NSA lab in Nevada. One month later Sloane had a team raid the lab. SYDNEY: I never heard of an NSA raid. IRINA: Of course not. ("A Dark Turn" : Sydney and Irina place their hands on the glass of the cell.) IRINA: (voice over) When the time came for my escape, it was painful because my love for you, for your father, was not a contrivance. (Back on the ice.) SYDNEY: Suddenly you want us to have Sloane's artifacts? IRINA: Sydney, I know our relationship is complicated but I'm your mother. I have to believe that would be the case under any circumstance. Go to Zurich. SYDNEY: You're insane. IRINA: One more thing I'll need to do and I'm sorry for this, too. (She elbows her in the face.) (Empty warehouse. Francie smokes a cigarette and stomps on it when Sark enters holding a pill bottle.) SARK: Provacillium to the rescue. FRANCIE: Thanks. The fever's reading bad. So what are we doing with Tippin? SARK: Nothing... for the moment. FRANCIE: Then when am I getting extracted? I don't know what new evidence the CIA has all of a sudden but it's going to lead to me. SARK: Not necessarily. If you disappear now you'll be a suspect for sure. FRANCIE: What is it? SARK: Allison... we can't reverse the process. Markovic's lab was destroyed. But we're doing everything we can to retreive the lost data. And I'm hopeful that we will find a way to reverse the process. FRANCIE: I may have to stay this way? SARK: No, no. We'll get you back. (He takes her chin in his hand.) SARK: Look at me. We'll get you back. (They kiss. She looks away.) SARK: You don't... fancy him, do you? Tippin? FRANCIE: Don't be stupid. (Briefing room with Kendall, NSA Deputy Director Brandon, Jack, Sydney, Vaughn, Dixon, Weiss.) KENDALL: And it didn't occur to you, Mr. Brandon, that a raid on NSA facility-- BRANDON: I'm not at liberty to discuss the details of the Nevada raid! KENDALL: And I'm not at liberty to respect the way that you do business! How many Rambaldi pieces were stolen? (to Sydney) Twenty-four? SYDNEY: That's what my mother said. BRANDON: I can't confirm that number. KENDALL: And we had to find out about this breach from Irina Derevko?! JACK: The question is, what is the prudent next step? SYDNEY: She's lying. She has to be. It's a set-up. VAUGHN: Then why show up in person? It's a big risk. DIXON: From what I know of Derevko, she's loyal to only one person: herself. SYDNEY: Dixon's right, obviously. I don't know, maybe this is a valid play for Sloane. KENDALL: Maybe, but why would she need us to play it? JACK: Guilt. Her motives may be insidious, her methods loathsome, but she is not unfeeling. I say we send in a team. Proceed with caution, but proceed. KENDALL: We'll prep to have whatever we find at the Zurich warehouse brought back to the States. (to Brandon) A neutral location. I propose Evans naval base in Ventura. BRANDON: I'll call my director. KENDALL: Yeah, you do that. VAUGHN: Sloane may have most of the pieces to assemble this Rambaldi device, but I don't think he has them all. SYDNEY: The Di Regno heart. KENDALL: If the NSA still got it. BRANDON: All right now, that's enough of your crap! (He leaves the meeting.) KENDALL: Jack, you go along with the NSA here, transfer the heart to the naval base and let Marshall know that he's going to Zurich, too. I want him to confirm what we've got or not, ASAP. Weiss, I need you to tell Tippin we're done with him. Escort him to the safehouse. WEISS: Yes sir. (Jack walks up to Marshall's desk. Carrie listens to music on her earphones nearby.) JACK: Marshall! We're sending you to Zurich. It's a research mission. MARSHALL: Um... JACK: We believe we may have gained access to Sloane's Rambaldi artifacts. MARSHALL: Wow, that's fantastic! I mean, hey, you know who should really go with us on this mission is Carrie. Uh, Miss Bowman. Because she's NSA, she works under Brandon, and she would be very helpful. In the field. JACK: In the field? MARSHALL: Please? JACK: Miss Bowman! (Carrie sheepishly slips the earphones out and smiles up at him.) CARRIE: Yes sir? JACK: You're going to Zurich. Plane leaves in an hour. (He stares blankly at Marshall and walks away.) (Will's cell. He's sorting through a file when Weiss enters.) WEISS: Mr. Tippin, I'm Agent Weiss. We're all through here, I'm supposed to take you to where you'll be staying. WILL: Is there a computer I can use here? The name on this DNA file, A.G. Doren, I know that from somewhere. I just want to check it out. WEISS: Sure. WILL: Thanks. I'm Will. WEISS: Uh, Weiss. Eric Weiss. WILL: Like Houdini. WEISS: Yeah, yeah, actually, he was a great-great-great uncle of mine. WILL: Get out of here. Really? WEISS: Yeah. WILL: Can you do magic tricks? (Upstairs, Will is at a computer. Weiss sits behind him.) WEISS: Okay, check this out, okay, ready? (Will turns to see. Weiss has a coin in his hand, closes his hand, taps the hand, and the coin disappears. Will, perhaps not impressed, turns back to the computer.) WILL: A.G. Doren doesn't ring a bell? WEISS: No, still doesn't. WILL: Hey, can I access my tradeworks file here? WEISS: Yeah, what's your password. (Pause. Weiss looks at him, ready to enter it. Will's embarrassed.) WILL: "Sydney". WEISS: Oh. (He types it.) WILL: Thanks. WEISS: You know, there was a time I was actually considering becoming a magician. I thought to myself, What the hell am I thinking? WILL: Oh, my God. WEISS: What? What is that? What's that list? (There's a list of names up on Will's monitor.) WILL: Project Christmas. It's a CIA black ops program from the seventies, train kids as sleeper agents to be used as future spies. WEISS: What? WILL: It's a summer camp, there were twenty kids. (Will highlights the name: Allison Georgia Doren.) WILL: Allison Doren was supposed to have died in a car accident. (At the Los Angeles office of the NSA, Brandon and Jack have the briefcase with the heart in it. SUVs line up for the drive. A phone rings.) KENDALL: (voice over) This is Kendall. JACK: (voice over) We've got the Di Regno heart. We're en route to the naval base. ETA three hours. KENDALL: (voice over) Roger that. (In Zurich, the CIA agents un up to the warehouse with their guns ready. They weld open the door and slide under. They run inside. One of the agents drills off the top of a crate.) AGENT: Okay, we're free of explosives, you can move in. (Vaughn and Sydney are there along with Dixon. Sydney brushes away some styrofoam balls in the crate.) VAUGHN: These could be real. SYDNEY: Let's get Marshall in here! KENDALL: (on comm in LA) How's it look? (Carrie and Marshall are inspecting it with magnifying glasses.) CARRIE: I don't know, sir, it's not consistent with any of the Rambaldi artifacts I've seen. MARSHALL: I was thinking the same thing. KENDALL: (on comm) Well then what the hell is it? (Sydney reaches in and yanks it out of the crate.) MARSHALL: Looks like a waffle iron. (Sydney moves to another crate and drills off the top. She takes out an old ghettoblaster.) SYDNEY: It's a set-up. There's nothing here. (Kendall rips off the headset and bangs it down.) KENDALL: Get me Jack Bristow! (Jack is in the SUV with Brandon and a driver. A few SUVs drive up and almost ram into them. The SUV comes to a fast stop. Jack looks around. The men in the black SUVs jump out and shoot the NSA driver.) JACK: Brandon! (Brandon steps out with his gun aimed but is shot in the chest. He falls against the open car door, dead. Jack gets out of the SUV with his own gun.) MAN: Drop the weapon or you're dead! (Irina stands on the roof of a building, looking out.) KENDALL: (voice over) Irina Derevko has struck again. (Briefing room.) KENDALL: Based on her intel we sent in some of our finest trained agents. We took contol of a storage facility and with the help of a bomb squad we are now in control of two dozen rusted kitchen appliances. Simultaneously, an enemy team ambushed our caravan, they killed two of our men. And along with the Di Regno heart, Jack Bristow is missing. SYDNEY: What's our next move? KENDALL: We scour every source of intel, anything halfway concrete and we move on it. (Jack is strapped to a bed. He has a cut on his forehead. Sloane enters the room.) SLOANE: He had so many brilliant creations. Rambaldi. But there was one in particular, a machine. He called it "il dire." The telling. The construction consists of forty-seven pieces. Classic Rambaldi. As you know, it took me a long time -- longer than I thought -- but I've acquired them all, including the Di Regno heart with your help. They're in the next room, Jack. I have a team assembling "il dire" right now. They said it shouldn't be more than a day. JACK: And then what? SLOANE: I've seen things recently. I've seen what's possible. There's a change coming, Jack. Something even I couldn't imagine. JACK: I used to feel sorry for you. Could you sense it? That you'd been abandoned, left for dead, disgraced. I pitied you -- that you needed to fill the void in your life. It was like a religion for you. SLOANE: I didn't expect you to understand. JACK: Then why keep me alive? SLOANE: Because we're friends, Jack. [SCENE_BREAK] (In the ops center, Vaughn's on the phone speaking French while Weiss is on the phone speaking German. Marshall walks by calculating something. He walks over to Carrie, who removes her earphones.) MARSHALL: Any anomolies? CARRIE: Mnh-hmm. MARSHALL: Were you close to him? Brandon? CARRIE: I hated him. Which is why I feel so bad. If that makes any sense. MARSHALL: I'm sorry. (She kisses his cheek and then looks back at the computer with a little smile.) CARRIE: You're sweet. (At his own desk, Will's on the phone.) WILL: I see, I see. No, actually, that helps a lot. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. (He hangs up and Weiss comes over.) WEISS: What's up? WILL: This is A.G. Doren. Allison Doren. (He shows Weiss a picture of a young African-American girl.) WILL: I just talked with her parents, told them I was with the NTSB. Asked about the accident. WEISS: And? WILL: There was a bus crash and there was a fire. But at the time the coroner told them that the burns were severe. WEISS: Hmm. So they never identified the body? WILL: No. (Sydney's at her desk when her cell rings.) SYDNEY: Hello? (Irina is on the rooftop of the building.) IRINA: I didn't know that Sloane was going to switch the crates, I promise that. SYDNEY: Where the hell are you? IRINA: He must've known I was going to double-cross him. Somehow, he knew. SYDNEY: I am going to find you, I don't care-- IRINA: I don't know where Sloane's gone, but Sark does. It doesn't have to be you, just make sure someone from the CIA goes to Vel Smokander. Vel Smokander. It's a club in Stockholm. Sark's going to be there, ten o'clock tomorrow night. SYDNEY: How stupid are you to think I would ever believe you again? IRINA: Ultimately, you will do what you want. That's what free will's all about. (Irina hangs up. Vaughn comes over.) VAUGHN: I've got nothing. You? SYDNEY: We're going to Sweden. (At the Stockholm club, Sydney and Vaughn walk in. Sydney's in a blonde wig and black dress. Vaughn's in yet another suit. They move through the crowd and take a table.) VAUGHN: Everyone's blonde in here, I keep thinking I see him. SYDNEY: Sark's not here. As expected. VAUGHN: Your dad's going to be okay. SYDNEY: I know. So when this is over, how do we go on vacation? VAUGHN: Well, I was thinking about this. SYDNEY: Yeah? VAUGHN: And I wasthinking that we have to stop talking about it and just book the hotel, just do it. SYDNEY: You're right. We have to start thinking more positively. VAUGHN: I mean, we're going to Santa Barbara. SYDNEY: We're going. We're just going. VAUGHN: (smiling) That's it. (His smile drops as he looks over Sydney's shoulder.) VAUGHN: There he is. (Sydney looks. Sark shakes hands with a man.) SYDNEY: I don't get it. VAUGHN: What? SYDNEY: My mother. Just... nothing. Let's move. (They approach the men and point their guns at them.) SYDNEY: Freeze! VAUGHN: Freeze! (Vaughn grabs Sark and bangs his head against the glass table. Sark's nose starts bleeding.) VAUGHN: See? When I have a gun trained on you, I don't just pull the trigger! SARK: Thank you. (He grabs Sark's head again and bangs it against the table.) VAUGHN: You're welcome. SYDNEY: Where the hell is my father? SARK: Not a problem. My loyalties are flexible. Sloane and your father are in Mexico City. (In Jack's room, he wakes up when he hears grinding noises coming from the room next door. The lights dim and brighten with the power surge and the door rattles. Jack's eyes get wide. It's assembled.) (Mexico City. Sydney and Vaughn enter the building and go in the elevator which looks an awful lot like the old SD-6 one. They run through a hallway below.) SYDNEY: Base camp, we're at sublevel 2! (Kendall is at Irina's cell which this time houses Sark.) KENDALL: Copy that, Mountaineer. They're in the basement, now what? SARK: The alarm system for Sloane's floor is located twenty yards down the north wall. A gray box with a yellow stripe. The deactivation code is 1-1-5-6-6. KENDALL: If this intel turns out to be wrong, I will pesonally escort you to Camp Harris and I won't leave until you're dead and buried. SARK: Then I certainly hope Mr. Sloane hasn't changed the code. KENDALL: Mountaineer, there's a gray box with a yellow stripe twenty yards down on the north wall. You will enter 1-1-5-6-6. (In the basement, they see the box. Vaughn enters the code and it's all green.) VAUGHN: Alpha team, we've neutralized the central alarm. You're go to enter the building. (Dozens of agents run in. Sydney and Vaughn catch up with them. They toss Sydney and Vaughn a gun each.) (Upstairs, Sloane walks in and leans over Jack.) SLOANE: Jack, it's been assembled. (Some of Sloane's men come down the stairs and encounter the agents. They exchange gunfire.) (In the room, a guard enters.) GUARD: Sir, there's a tactical team heading up the stairs. SLOANE: Pack everything and go. Go! We'll see each other again, Jack. (He leaves.) (The agents enter the hallway, checking various doors. Dixon and Weiss enter Jack's room.) DIXON: Jack! (They start getting him out of there.) DIXON: Tell Agent Bristow I've got her father. (Sloane and two guards march down a hallway.) SLOANE: The equipment's being loaded into the truck? GUARD: Yes, sir. (Sydney and Vaughn spot them. They start shooting, taking cover in the doorway. They shoot back, going back and forth. When Vaughn and Sydney are taking cover in the doorway, the guard points down the hallway.) GUARD: Go! (Sloane takes off. Sydney tries shooting at the men when out of nowhere appears Irina from behind them. She shoots the guards with two guns. Sydney sees.) IRINA: Go after Sloane! (Irina runs the opposite way that Sloane went.) SYDNEY: You get Sloane! (Sydney and Vaughn split up, each going a different direction down the hall. Sydney gets to the stairwell and spots Irina. She follows. Up on the roof, Sydney runs up to see Irina on the ledge, crouching down.) SYDNEY: Freeze! I've shot you before, I will do it again! Keep your hands in the air! I'm on the roof, I've got Derevko. AGENT: Roger that. (Irina stands up on the ledge.) SYDNEY: Get OFF the ledge! IRINA: I'll tell you what you need to know. SYDNEY: Get off the ledge NOW! IRINA: Sloane believes he's been chosen to realize the word of Rambaldi. But you, too, have been chosen. SYDNEY: If you think I'm bluffing... IRINA: It's you in the prophecy, Sydney, not me. Only you can stop him. (smiles) Good luck, sweetheart. SYDNEY: Get down now! IRINA: I love you. (Irina falls backwards off the building. Sydney gasps and watches as her mother falls. But she has a bungee cord attached to her and as Irina falls, she shoots the windows out of the building. When the bungee cord bounces her up, she shoots a gun that fires a cord into the open level of the building. The dart at the end of the cord pierces the wall and tightens. Irina bangs against the side of the building and starts climbing into the level with the shot out windows. Sydney watches from above.) SYDNEY: Any available agents, get to street level now! WEISS: I'm on my way! (He leaves Dixon and Jack and starts running.) SYDNEY: She just climbed into a floor in the middle of the building! WEISS: Which floor?! SYDNEY: I have NO idea! Eighteenth, maybe nineteenth! I CAN'T TELL FROM HERE! (In LA, Marshall and Kendall listen with headsets.) MARSHALL: Sir, it's been almost two hours-- KENDALL: Shh! AGENT ON COMM: Home base, we just found an elevator shaft pried open on the nineteenth floor. We think Derevko has left the building. (In a fit of anger, Kendall throws his headset down and storms away. Marshall picks it up.) MARSHALL: Uh, sir, you're not supposed to throw these like that. You'll break them. (Sydney and Francie's. Will is on the sofa, looking through the files. Francie enters.) WILL: Hey. FRANCIE: Hey. Any news? WILL: No. I'm just trying to figure it all out. (He rubs his temples. Francie reaches in the brown grocery bag she's carrying and presents a small carton of ice cream.) FRANCIE: I got your favorite. (Will smiles warmly at her.) WILL: You're the best. I'm gonna get aspirin. (They kiss.) WILL: I'll be right back. (He heads for the bathroom. Francie slides over on the sofa and looks through the file. Inside the bathroom, Will searches through the cabinet for the aspirin. He takes a small black toiletry bag and looks in. He pulls out a bottle of pills that says Provacillium. He realizes. Out in the living room, Francie looks through the file and comes across the picture of A.G. Doren as a child, of her as a child.) (Will's in the bathroom on his cell.) SYDNEY'S VOICE: You've reached Sydney's cell phone, leave a message after the beep. WILL: (whispering) Sydney, it's me. Listen, this is going to sound insane but I just found Provacillium in the bathroom and I think that... I think that... uh, okay, just think about it. I think that the double is Franc-- (Thud. He looks up. Will comes out of the bathroom and looks around hesitantly.) WILL: Fran? (He sees the front door is open. Stepping forward, coming down the hall, he looks around but doesn't see Francie who is behind him with a wire in her hands. She pounces and starts to strangle him. He gasps and is thrown against the counter of the kitchen, then against the wall. Will elbows Francie in the face and she's thrown against the fridge. He coughs and grabs a large knife from the counter.) WILL: It was always you... Allison? FRANCIE: It sucks it turned out this way. WILL: That's it. Get on the ground! Get on the GROUND! (She kicks him and chokes him with one hand on his throat, backs him up against the wall. He grunts in pain as she forces his hand that's holding the knife. She works it down, out of camera shot. Francie/Allison starts to cry as she stabs Will in the abdomen. He shakes in pain as she kisses him.) WILL: Arghh... (He falls to the ground. Francie sobs.) (Outside the house, Vaughn's car pulls up. Sydney takes off her seat belt.) SYDNEY: Sloane's got the device and my mother, she-- (He takes her chin in his hand.) VAUGHN: Another day. (He kisses her.) VAUGHN: So I did it. SYDNEY: Did what? VAUGHN: I booked the hotel. SYDNEY: No you didn't. VAUGHN: Yes I did. SYDNEY: You did? VAUGHN: Mm-hmm. SYDNEY: Santa Barbara. VAUGHN: Three nights starting tonight. I mean, it was probably the greatest phone call I've ever made. SYDNEY: Well, you're a genius. VAUGHN: Thank you. (They kiss.) VAUGHN: So after the debrief I'll come and pick you up. SYDNEY: Okay. (Sydney walks in and looks around. Francie's on the sofa like nothing happened.) SYDNEY: Hey. FRANCIE: Hi. SYDNEY: You okay? FRANCIE: Relatively speaking. You? SYDNEY: Tired. (She goes in the kitchen and gets the tub of ice cream that Francie got for Will, along with a spoon. She sits next to Francie on the sofa.) FRANCIE: What's up? SYDNEY: I am so burnt. FRANCIE: I understand. (Sydney takes out her cell and dials.) MESSENGER: You have two new messages. SYDNEY: Where's Will? FRANCIE: I don't know. MARY BETH'S VOICE: Hi Miss Bristow, it's Mary Beth from Director Kendall's office. I've got him for you so give us a call. Thanks. FRANCIE: Will said he had something to do. WILL'S VOICE: Sydney, it's me. Listen, this is going to sound insane but I just found Provacillium in the bathroom and I think that... I think that... uh, okay, just think about it. I think that the double is Franc-- MESSENGER: End of messages. (Sydney hangs up the phone, trying to be calm. She takes a big spoonful of the ice cream and plasters on a smile.) SYDNEY: Want some? FRANCIE: Sure. (She feeds it to her and covers the ice cream.) SYDNEY: I just have to change out of these clothes. FRANCIE: Mmm. (As soon as Sydney's gone, Francie looks up. She knows that she knows.) (Sydney walks in her bedroom and looks under the bed. She gets the gun hidden there and checks that it's loaded.) FRANCIE: I just remembered. Francie doesn't like coffee ice cream. (Sydney looks up. Francie has a gun pointed at her.) SYDNEY: No, she doesn't. FRANCIE: Drop the gun. DROP IT! (Sydney shoots at her. Francie ducks out in the hallway. Sydney runs out there and they begin their fight. They both block punches and find themselves in the bathroom. Sydney falls back and trips Francie. She turns around and sees Will's body in the bathtub. Sydney stares in horror and grabs an ornament from nearby, turning to face Francie. She hits her with it, elbowing her in the face. They move into the hallway. Francie whips a roundhouse at Sydney which sends her falling back. Francie grabs her fallen gun as Sydney jumps over the kitchen counter. Francie is shooting up the place as Sydney ducks near the fridge for cover. Francie comes around and Sydney throws a whole cutlery drawer at her. Francie ducks. Sydney punches Francie a few times, gets her against the wall. She kicks her, bangs Francie's hand against the pillar so she will drop the gun. Sydney elbows her and throws a cutting board at Francie, who again ducks. Sydney grabs the back of Francie's head and throws her into the glass cupboard door, which smashes. Francie grabs Sydney's head and rams it against the dry dishes on the counter, breaking them all. Sydney falls, gets up, and kicks and punches Francie, backing her up to the living room. She throws Francie into the glass coffee table. Sydney spots the gun in the other room and runs for it, but Francie's right there. They are on the patio. Sydney reaches for the gun but they struggle for it, with Sydney throwing Francie off of her a couple of times. Sydney jumps to her feet and kicks her, elbows her in the back. She uses the wall for support and jumps off it, kicking her. She tackles Francie and they both smash through the patio doors leading back into Sydney's bedroom. The gun slides across the floor. Sydney gets up, kicks Francie in the head, punching her. Blocked by Francie. Sydney jumps on the bed and tries to kick Francie but Francie grabs Sydney from around the waist and they both head for the full-length mirror by the bed. Francie smashes Sydney's entire body into it. The mirror smashes and Sydney falls, crumpled, to the floor, leaving a blood trail from her head on the wall behind her. Francie, covered in blood herself, smirks. She leans down to get the gun that is beside Sydney. Sydney grabs a shard of glass and cuts Francie in the throat. She backs up, shocked. Sydney takes the gun and shoots Francie in the arm. Then in the left shoulder. Then in the right shoulder. Francie falls. Sydney drops her arm and, full of blood, collapses on the floor amidst the broken mirror, trashed apartment, and dead friend.) (Sydney, wearing a turtleneck sweater and black pants, wakes up in an alley. A red light goes off and on above her. A cat meows. She tries to get up but falls back on the pavement, too weak to stand. She finally gets up and walks on the sidewalk to see that she's in Hong Kong.) (Phone booth.) WOMAN'S VOICE: Dispatch. SYDNEY: This is officer 2300844, calling for connection. Confirmation: looking glass. WOMAN'S VOICE: Stand by. KENDALL: This is Kendall. SYDNEY: I just woke up in Hong Kong. I don't know how long I've been here or how I got here. (Pause.) SYDNEY: Hello? KENDALL: Get to our safehouse at Chwing Chausse Way as quickly as possible. You remember how to get there? SYDNEY: Of course I do. KENDALL: I'll make sure they're expecting you. SYDNEY: Okay. (Safehouse. Sydney is being led to a room by a man.) SYDNEY: Have they said... (She clears her hoarse voice.) SYDNEY: Have they said anything about how I got here? Do you know any-- MAN: You should wait for information until your contact arrives. (He unlocks a door and opens it. Nods.) (Later, Sydney raises her shirt and sees a long scar on her stomach, about three inches long. The door opens and Vaughn enters. Sydney walks over to him and gives him a big hug. He can barely look at her. She cries and hugs him.) SYDNEY: They doubled Francie. VAUGHN: I know. SYDNEY: What happened to Will? To Francie? Are they dead? VAUGHN: Will's okay. SYDNEY: What? How? VAUGHN: You... Sit down. (She does. He sits down across from her. He doesn't know how to begin and looks at the floor.) SYDNEY: Vaughn? VAUGHN: We thought you were dead. They asked me to come back to... to explain. SYDNEY: Come back from what? What are you talking about? (Vaughn rubs at his face with his left hand. On that hand is a wedding ring.) SYDNEY: Vaughn... why are you wearing that ring? VAUGHN: Syd... since that night... you were missing. You've been missing for almost two years.	Plan: A: Sydney; Q: Who confronts her mother? A: her mother; Q: Who reveals her true motivation to Sydney? A: her true motivation; Q: What does Sydney's mother reveal to Sydney? A: Sloane; Q: Who begins to execute his new grand plan? A: his set-up; Q: Will struggles to figure out who's behind what? A: a vicious confrontation; Q: What happens between Sydney and Allison? A: a starling revelation; Q: What does Vaughn reveal to Sydney? A: 2009; Q: In what year did TV Guide rank this episode #84 on its list of the 100 Greatest Episodes? A: TV Guide; Q: What publication ranked this episode #84 on its list of the 100 Greatest Episodes? Summary: Sydney confronts her mother, who reveals her true motivation. Sloane, for his part, begins to execute his new grand plan, Will struggles to figure out who's behind his set-up. Sydney and Allison have a vicious confrontation, which in turn leads to a starling revelation by Vaughn to Sydney! In 2009, TV Guide ranked this episode #84 on its list of the 100 Greatest Episodes.[4]
Opening scene - Harbor school in the morning - we see kids doing different things then we see Seth and Ryan walking together outside Seth: hard to believe it but spring is here Ryan: yep, this years jus flyin by Seth: yeah, an you know I gotta say this year...not as good as last Ryan: you think Seth: I do, I mean look we all tried some new things an that was fun Ryan: mm-hmm Seth: uh yard guys, illegitimate daughters, less fighting (Ryan nods) more live music Ryan: well maybe you remember last year as better cause it was all new Seth: so you think i've sentimentalised the past all out of proportion Ryan: yeah, come on I mean, we can't keep livin in last year Seth: sure we can (Ryan looks at him) an check this out man (they stop walking) things are already goin back to the way they were, I'm back together with Summer, your single again Ryan: (nods) I think I know where this is going Seth: yeah ill tell you where it's goin, it's goin to the Harbor school pep rally bonfire (points) (Ryan turns around and we see a banner being raised up in the air. it is a maroon colour and in big white letters is the word SPRING BONFIRE either side of that in smaller letters is PEP RALLY. and underneath spring bonfire is a line of fire) Seth: come on (Ryan turns back to him) you could rally a little pep couldn't you (Ryan shakes his head) especially if you invited a- Ryan: don't say it Seth: ooooh it would be so last year though Ryan: there is nothin goin on with me an Marissa Seth: really Ryan: yeah Seth: so, there's jus no feelings there whatsoever you couldn't care less Ryan: (looks away) it's not about that, besides (points) she's...clearly already taken (we see Marissa getting out of Alex's jeep. she smiles and waves bye to Alex who is driving. Ryan and Seth are watching) Seth: I don't know I don't see any chemistry there...maybe we should ask em to kiss...real slow like (Marissa walks up to them) Seth: hey Marissa: hey Seth: (points) couldn't help but notice the uh bonfire banner Marissa: oh don't talk to me about it, its ben so stressful, I can't even find someone to design the bonfire Seth: mm (looks at Ryan) Marissa: (looks at Ryan) but you guys are coming right Ryan: (frowns) uh I don't know it's a pep rally (Marissa looks at him) Seth: yeah a bonfire pep rally (hits Ryan's arm) you bet we are Marissa: ok cool, well I'm gonna be late (starts walking away) Seth: ok, hey Ryan your going the way of lockers an classrooms why don't you walk her, might be a nice gesture (Ryan looks at him, not impressed) Marissa: ok, thanks Seth: no problem (waves, pleased with himself) Ryan: (walking away) live in the now Seth Seth: I'm sorry I'm afraid I can't do that, bye (Summer walks up from behind) Summer: hi (hits Seth's arm) Seth: hey (goes to kiss Summer) Summer: hey, ohh (puts her hand up) no, don't even think about it Cohen, we have lived through enough of their pain an suffering Seth: yeah an it was awesome Summer: do not meddle with Ryan an Marissa their like combustible Seth: yeah Summer an what better place (Summer sighs) for said combustion...(enthusiastic) then the Harbor school (wiggles his fingers) pep rally bonfire (Summer looks at him) oooooh (wiggles his fingers more) Summer: (looks at Seth) your kinda creeping me out (walks away) Seth: I'm ok with that (smiles) (Summer keeps walking) hey Summer (follows) come on (the camera zooms out and we see the banner from a little away, in the distance Seth has caught up to Summer and puts his arm around her {aww}) Theme song - California by Phantom planet Golf course - we see an aerial view of the green and then we see a golf ball sitting on a tee, the camera gradually moves up to show the golf club and then the person holding the golf club. Kirsten is dressed in a not so flattering golf outfit, she does have a cute visor on though. Sandy's voice is heard but we can't see him yet Sandy: (off screen) alright nice an easy now start that shoulder turn, keep your eye on that ball maintain the spine angle, c'mon turn those shoulders (on screen) (Kirsten raises to swing) (excited) finish that turn feel that weight shift, ya feel the (looks at Kirsten who is looking at him) alright I'm jus gonna stand here, nice an quietly (Kirsten nods) but supportively, alright (Kirsten swings and hits the ball, it doesn't go far or high, she puts her hand on her hip) Sandy: wow (looks at Kirsten) that was good, your feet were a little busy maybe quiet your feet down, c'mon try it again (pushes a golf ball towards the tee with his club) Kirsten: no more try's (Sandy looks at her) I hate golf, I suck at golf, I no longer wanna play golf (shakes her head) Sandy: honey you could only get better Kirsten: ill have'ta take your word for it Sandy: c'mon we could play together...an you look so cute in that visor Kirsten: I do (Sandy nods) I gotta go, we're putting together our first issue (sits) of Newport living an we're tryin'a figure out what photo of Julie to use on the cover Sandy: talk about Sophie's choice, so who'd ya finally get to edit the Medusa monthly Kirsten: Carter Buckley (unties her shoes) he's really great, he uh wants to take it beyond gossip an dish, focus on culture, local art scene Sandy: so it's really more of a pamphlet then a magazine (Kirsten looks at him) (laughs) Carter Buckley, now what's he done before Kirsten: oh a bunch'a stuff, a magazine uh called the ugly American Sandy: yeah Kirsten: National Geographic, GQ, and he self published a magazine called revolution Sandy: (looks up) you gotta be kidding Kirsten: (suprised) you know it Sandy: that was the magazine of Berkeley's left wing, portraits of the misunderstood the marginalised, the crackpots Kirsten: an entire magazine about losers (smiles) Sandy: oh but lovable ones, I read it religiously, wow I'm impressed, you know id love to meet him Kirsten: well uh ill uh ill set something up (walks over to Sandy) Sandy: (sees Kirsten's hand) you found your wedding ring Kirsten: uh yeah behind some cushions, thanks for the lesson (kisses Sandy) (Kirsten leaves and Sandy goes back to practicing his swing) CUT TO: Harbor school - Seth walks out of a classroom looking frustrated, then he spies Marissa at her locker. he goes to walk over to her but hesitates, he goes again and again shakes his head and turns the other way, he waits a second then mouths 'yeah' and walks over. Marissa puts some books into her bag Seth: hello Marissa Marissa: hey Cohen Seth: you seem stressed, a little distracted Marissa: yeah well it's this bonfire, it would be really great if we had...you know a (shrugs) bonfire Seth: well Coop, I think I got what ails ya Marissa: (looks at Seth) first of all only Summer calls me Coop Seth: yeah but I figured we're back together now an you know if A=C an B=C then A=B, you know what I'm sayin (raises eyebrows) Marissa: no, I really don't, so what's your plan, whose your social chair saviour (raises eyebrows) Seth: (makes a weird motion with his face) Ryan Marissa: (smiles, shuts her locker) Mr. water polo, I don't think so (they are now walking) Seth: (points) yeah but think about this, that guy worked in no-no-no he toiled in an actual construction job (Marissa listens) also he enjoys architecture an burning stuff down Marissa: he did torch Caleb's model home (Seth nods) but I don't know I mean d'you think he'd say yes Seth: to you, how could he resist...especially now that Lindsay's gone the kids kinda blue Marissa: (considers this) might be good for him, distract him and it would be fun Seth: (a little too enthusiastically) yes, yes (closes his eyes) although I personally don't see the appeal, yes Marissa: (smiles) alright that's a good idea, thanks Seth: don't mention it (nods/smiles) seriously don't, especially to Summer (serious/stern face) (Seth walks away and Marissa's phone rings. she looks at it) Marissa: oooh (closes eyes, answers) hello mother...no I'm not coming home ok, bye (hangs up) CUT TO: Julie's office at the Newport group - Julie has the phone to her ear Julie: please do not (beep) (looks at the phone) she's such a little me (Julie hangs the phone up and sees Lance standing in the door way) Julie: (sighs) ok like your not creepy enough your just appearing in door ways now Lance: (smiles) trouble at home Julie: like id open up to you Lance: (walks in) well, here if you need me Julie: ill keep that in mind, what'do you want Lance: I want my money Julie: again, good to know...how'd you get passed security Lance: charm an good looks, now I know you got this magazine ready to launch Julie: get out Lance Lance: this is not the moment when you want your somehow perfect reputation undone (Julie looks at him) by one bad decision an some not so flattering lighting, you got three days to get me my money (Julie looks worried) or everyone in Newport's gonna see alot more then your face (Lance leaves and Julie looks over at the mock of the magazine, then down at her desk - we then see Lance leaving and Kirsten arriving. she goes over to her secretary) Kirsten: ohhh traffic was terrible, is Carter here yet Secretary: Mr. Buckley left a voice mail at around three thirty AM, said don't expect him today Kirsten: (frowns) three thirty, he say why Secretary: no but I couldn't understand everything on the message, he was...slurring Kirsten: your kidding...well I guess Julie an I will proceed without him (Kirsten turns around and sees Julie) Julie: oh hey Kiks uh can't make the meeting Kirsten: something up Julie: just a critical personal emergency but nothing...important (leaves) Kirsten: well I guess the meetings cancelled Secretary: I can try Mr. Buckley, see if he's changed his mind Kirsten: uh...no ill-ill-ill take care of it (smiles and walks towards her office) CUT TO: Harbor school - Marissa and Summer are eating lunch together, outside Summer: so how are you an Alex Marissa: hmm you know, really great Summer: really great or (raises eyebrows) really great Marissa: (same tone as before) really great Summer: thanks for clearin that up for me Coop Marissa: oh hey can you tell Seth never to call me Coop again cause he kinda ruined the nickname Summer: (frowns) Cohen called you Coop Marissa: uh-huh Summer: when Marissa: earlier (Ryan walks over to them) Ryan: hey, hope I'm not interrupting Marissa: no actually I was hoping id run into you Ryan: oh yeah, you were (sits) Summer: (looks from Ryan to Marissa) you were Marissa: (looks from Summer to Ryan) I was, I need someone to build the bonfire for us (Summer listens) an I figured who else has worked in construction, likes architecture Ryan: has burned down a house Marissa: yeah, exactly (Ryan looks at Marissa, Summer looks at Marissa and frowns) Marissa: an I thought it would be fun...working together Ryan: oh you did Summer: (frowns) you did Marissa: yeah, besides if you don't do it then the water polo teams not gonna have a pep rally Ryan: yeah well we can't have that happen, um (Marissa looks at him) sure yeah ok Marissa: (happy, raises eyebrows) you'll do it, that's great (to Summer) isn't that great Summer: it's great (Seth walks over) Seth: what's great Marissa: Ryan's gonna build the bonfire for us Seth: heeey, great idea you two, I love that (Marissa looks at Ryan) makin it happen on behalf'a the school (smiles) Summer: yeah, yeah you know the idea is just - inspired Ryan: (looks at Seth) yeah (grins to let Seth know he knows) Seth: (looks away) well I've got a big test to study for so looks like ill be eating in the library, so long Summer: oh come on, d'you have'ta go (to Ryan and Marissa) you know, will you two excuse me (goes after Seth) Marissa: um, so thanks again ill see you after school (stands) Ryan: yeah sure Marissa: ok, my place Ryan: (frowns) your place with Alex Marissa: yeah, is that a problem Ryan: no (shakes his head) Marissa: ok (smiles, walks off) Ryan: no problem at all... CUT TO: Sandy's office - Sandy is on the phone, and has a manual in his hands. he has a computer and CD's etc laid out over his desk, and towards the door we can see a cardboard box. Sandy: oh I looked in the box this computer does not have an access key, look look look all I wanna do is check my E-mail (Julie is standing at the door, Sandy has his back to her) (frustrated) n-no, do not transfer me (hangs up) Julie: you must'a ben talking ta Marissa Sandy: (turns around) Julie you scared me...more then usual Julie: always a pleasure Sanford Sandy: only Caleb gets to call me Sanford because he wont not, what're you doin here Julie: official business (walks in) an as a new client I'm not impressed Sandy: y'know if this is a marital issue I'm goin'a have to decline, Caleb's got me on retainer Julie: Caleb an I are just fine thanks, and well (pulls out the tape) I'm trying to keep it that way (throws the tape on the desk) (Sandy looks down at the tape. the picture is Julie with a sweat band on and the words THE p0rn IDENTITY. Sandy looks at Julie, stunned) Julie: uh-hm Sandy: (looks back down at the tape) (softly) oh (looks at Julie and picks up the tape) (Julie looks at him) w- um...I uh...I think this is the first time in my life I'm actually speechless Julie: it was the eighties, I was young I had no money and...it was the eighties (shrugs) Sandy: well that explains everything Julie: I'm not gonna give you my whole sob story, needless to say I never thought that it would resurface Sandy: (looking at the back) so where did this come from Julie: the artur behind this...masterpiece (sits) his name is Lance Baldwin, he's an ex Sandy: so you started with a p0rn producer an ya ended up with Caleb, see id consider that a lateral move (sits) Julie: he wants half a million (Sandy looks at her) or he goes public on the eve of Newport Livings launch Sandy: oh you gotta go to the cops Julie: no, Sandy no cops an before you even suggest it no Caleb Sandy: ...I am so not the guy for this Julie: (sits forward) Sandy (desperate) please...I am begging you (Sandy listens) forget the company or my marriage...if Marissa ever found out about this I...I mean she's already moved out on me she-she wont take my calls (softly) she would never speak ta me again Sandy: (thinks) oh it's alright Julie (walks over to Julie) you deal with Marissa an ill...ill deal with the Cournel (Julie looks at him) it's a boogie nights reference, expect alot of em (raises eyebrows) CUT TO: Harbor school - Seth is in the library with a book up in front of his face. the book is the turn of the screw. Summer comes and stands in front of him, she takes the book off him, shuts it and slams it down hard. Seth looks suprised, he looks at Summer then puts it back up in front of his face, again Summer slams it down hard Seth: fine don't worry about it I wasn't reading Summer: (loud) what the hell is your problem Cohen (everyone in the library says shhh. Summer looks at them) Seth: (softly) your interrupting very studious people, like me (puts the book in front of his face again) (Summer grabs his arm and pulls him up) ok (Summer pulls Seth into the stacks away from everyone) Summer: now no one can hear you scream Seth: what is your problem woman Summer: you are, what'did I tell you about messing with Ryan an Marissa Seth: I was concerned that the water polo team was gonna be without a pep rally this year so I suggested it for the good of the school Summer: Cohen Seth: (looks at Summer) (shrugs) they belong together Summer: no they don't Seth: yes they do, it is me an you an it is Ryan and Marissa an that's the way its suppose'ta be Summer: listen up ass hat, Ryan an Marissa separate, both great people that I love, together disaster so stay away from them (Seth rolls his eyes) alright or otherwise more then the bonfire is going up in flames Seth: I can make no promises (walks away) CUT TO: Marissa walking up the stairs outside. her phone rings. she pulls it out of her bag and looks at whose calling, she smiles and then answers it Marissa: hey, what's up (Alex is on the phone at the Bait Shop) Alex: nothing I-I jus wanted to see what you were up to after school I feel like we haven't had alotta time to hang Marissa: I know I just I have this project to work on after school with Ryan Alex: with Ryan, ah-huh (nods) what thing Marissa: this bonfire pep rally Alex: you never mentioned a pep rally Marissa: yeah well I kind of have a handle on your sense of school spirit Alex: very good point, um so I guess ill jus see you at home (Marissa looks over and sees Ryan walking. he looks at her, she holds her phone with the other hand and does a small wave and smiles. Ryan waves and smiles back) Alex: (waits) hello Marissa: yeah sorry, ill see you later (hangs up) (Alex takes the phone away from her ear then hangs up, she looks worried) CUT TO: Carters apartment - Kirsten walks up to it and all we can hear is music blaring, Carter looks like hell and he's sitting in a chair Kirsten: (yells) hello, anyone here Carter: Kirsten, sorry private party Kirsten: (yells) we had a meeting, you wanna explain what happened Carter: (swivels the chair so he's facing Kirsten) oh it's just a little thing I like to call (sighs) my wedding anniversary Kirsten: you're divorced Carter: no wonder this party sucks...I see you found your ring, must mean your still married...thanks for stoppin by (swivels back) (Kirsten walks in and turns the music off. Carter gets up and pours himself another drink) Kirsten: look I'm sorry I just stopped by but you could at least apologise for blowing off the meeting Carter: (nods) right, yeah, I'm sorry an I'm sorry for all the (sighs) future meetings I'm gonna miss (Kirsten looks at him, shocked) you see now you don't have'ta feel...bad about firing me (drinks) Kirsten: maybe you're not in the best frame of mind to be having this discussion Carter: an I'm gonna be less self loathing if I'm sober, come on I work for a rag about Julie Cooper...Nichol Kirsten: no it's about culture, it's about art Carter: oh come on Kirsten, this magazine is just a photo opportunity for fifty five year old women with twenty five year old breasts Kirsten: but this is a chance ta turn this community upside down, be subversive, irreverent Carter: (drinks) id rather be drunk (Kirsten leaves, Carter sits back down and turns the music back on) CUT TO: Cohen family room - Seth is sitting on the couch with Captain Oats watching the Valley Seth: (sighs) you see Oats it was even the same for the Valley (closes his eyes) last year was just better (Ryan comes in from outside) Ryan: you an Captain Oats catchin up Seth: yeah, does he seem grumpy ta you these days (frowns and looks at Captain Oats) Ryan: eh I know how he feels, this bonfire thing is a disaster (sits next to Seth) Seth: oh yeah, you an Marissa workin on the bonfire together, that's pretty cool huh Ryan: not so far, did a bunch'a designs but they all suck Seth: yeah well I'm sure whatever you come up with Marissa will love you (closes his eyes and clicks his finger) it Ryan: (looks at Seth) dude there's nothin goin on with me an Marissa Seth: oh that's none'a my business (waves it off) (Sandy comes in) Sandy: hey you guys cool fendin for yourselves for dinner at the same time: (they both turn their heads towards Sandy) Seth: sure Ryan: ah-huh Sandy: your mothers at work an I gotta run but I'm leavin you some money for pizza Seth: thanks Sandy: are you two alright Ryan: yeah jus school project Seth: Ryan's working with Marissa (Ryan looks at him) Sandy: oooh you an Marissa that's nice, just like last year Seth: hey you an mom have ben kinda workin alot lately is everything alright Sandy: yeah yeah everything's fine jus busy Seth: I feel like there's maybe ben some...kinda tension recently Sandy: well...listen your married ta someone for twenty years your bound to hit a few speed bumps (Seth nods) it takes work but it doesn't mean we don't love each other Seth: good Sandy: ok, ill see ya at the same time: Ryan: bye Seth: bye Seth: did you hear that Ryan, love takes work (raises eyebrows) Ryan: (looks at Seth) are you referring to me an Marissa Seth: no I'm stayin outta that, you go work on your cool bonfire...me an Oats are gonna order in Ryan: (gets up, thinks) hey can I borrow Captain Oats Seth: sure, but he's a poor substitute for a broken heart (goes to hand him to Ryan but pulls him back) mm (Ryan closes his eyes and waits) (to Captain Oats) Oats (looks at Ryan then back at Oats) if he touches you anywhere weird, an by weird I mean (whispers to Oats) I want you to neigh, as loud as you can (Ryan looks at Seth not amused, then punches him hard in the arm. he takes Captain Oats and starts to leave) Seth: ahhh, see your punchin people that's very last year, its cool though (Seth picks up the remote and puts it in the hand of the arm that was just punched, he screws up his face and puts his other hand on his head, almost crying {lol}) CUT TO: Alex and Marissa's apartment - we hear a door bell then we see Marissa open the door. Julie is standing there Marissa: (pointed) what Julie: well its nice to see you too sweetie (goes to walk in) Marissa: whoa (puts her hand up) hello I haven't ben vaccinated what'do you want Julie: well I thought that we could talk, face to face (smiles) may I come in Marissa: no Julie: don't you think you're taking this a little too far, you enjoy living in...squalor Marissa: well you an Caleb don't live here so it can't be that disgusting Julie: I could make you come home Marissa: what're you gonna do (shrugs) call the cops, i'd love ta tell them all about you Julie: I could take away your credit cards Marissa: ill get a job (shrugs) Julie: you, doing what Marissa: or maybe ill jus steal (raises eyebrows) you know I'm really good at that Julie: oh...Marissa come home, please (Marissa looks away) don't throw away your future jus because you hate me (Marissa looks at her) we've all done things in life that we regret but...it is never too late, the doors always open Marissa: not this one (shuts the door in Julies face) (we see Marissa lean up against the door and sigh, she looks lost) CUT TO: Seth's bedroom - Seth has his closet door open looking through clothes, he pulls down a shirt then puts it back. Alex stands in the door way and knocks Seth: (suprised) Alex, hey you're in my room which (frowns) never happened when we were dating Alex: (walks in) I hope I'm not interrupting, what're you trying on new clothes or something Seth: no actually I'm trying on clothes from last year (Alex sits on the bed) ah come in...hi, what's goin on Alex: now I know this is weird but um...I need your advice...it's about Marissa Seth: (raises eyebrows) oh ok, well I'm a little fuzzy on your guys relationship so perhaps you have some photos or video that, or things you- (Alex throws Seth's pillow at him and it hits him in the face) Seth: I was jus tryin'a be thorough Alex: (sighs) it's not about me an Marissa, this is about Marissa an Ryan...I just I have a sense about them Seth: (avoiding it) yeah I have alot of penguin to try on Alex: oh so there is something going on Seth: hey if you were this sensitive an neurotic when we were dating things might'a really worked out Alex: (closes her eyes and sighs) (sincerely) I just I-I really really have fallen hard for this girl (looks at Seth, Seth looks down) please will you just tell me if I am fighting for a lost cause here, are they just one'a those couples that will always be a couple Seth: is this about the other night at the mall Alex: what no...I know all about the mall why Seth: ok so then, big deal they slept in a tent together (Alex closes her eyes) alot of friends would do that- Alex: I'm sorry did you jus say (opens her eyes) tent Seth: (looks at Alex) does that...did you think I said that, no no cause I said (Alex looks at him) what did you think, did you think I said tent (Alex gets up) no cause I was saying that they repented for life? I didn't say tent- Alex: (turns around) Marissa forgot to mention that part Seth: well th- probably cause it wasn't a big deal Alex: well thankyou you've ben very helpful (leaves) Seth: ok wait I wasn't even tryin'a meddle I was staying (looks down) Summers gonna kill me CUT TO: Alex and Marissa's apartment - Ryan is walking up to the door carrying a paper bag, he walks up the stairs and looks as though he's thinking, he knocks. Inside we see Marissa look around the apartment, it's a little messy. she picks up some clothes and puts a cushion on top of them to hide them, then she breathes out and looks around before opening the door Marissa: (smiles) hey Ryan: hey Marissa: oh come in (Ryan says something about nice, I think he's referring to the apartment but I couldn't catch the first bit cause he says it softly) Marissa: uh sorry about the mess we're between maids Ryan: ah how do you survive, ah so where's-where's Alex Alex: uh working (puts some newspapers from the table up out of the way) Ryan: got it, its-its Marissa: just us Ryan: (near the couch) uh Marissa: yeah, go ahead (points) Ryan: ok (puts the bag down on the table and sits) lets see (pulls out Captain Oats) dun da da Marissa: (sits) Captain Oats (smiles and takes him) Ryan: yeah Seth let us borrow him for the bonfire Marissa: ooooh we're not gonna burn him though are we Ryan: (looks at Marissa) no, no he's our inspiration, figured we'll build a uh scale model so we know how much wood to use for the real thing Marissa: oh a Trojan horse Ryan: exactly, so what'do you think (looks at Marissa) Marissa: I think its perfect (smiles) Ryan: (looks at Marissa then looks away) yeah it's not bad, so um lets get started, how are you with popsicle sticks (holds them out) Marissa: (takes them) really good (Ryan smiles) CUT TO: Sandy getting out of his car - in the window we can see the reflection of a neon sign so we know it's a motel type place. Sandy knocks on the door and Lance answers in a wife beater Lance: ah, you got a warrant Sandy: whoa your not suspicious are ya, I'm Sandy Cohen, I'm Julie Coopers attourney...an I'm a huge fan'a your work Lance: you got my money Sandy: I'm here to negotiate (Lance and Sandy walk in the room. a hooker is sitting on the bed) Hooker: is this gonna be a three way (stands) cause my rate doubles Lance: why don't you grab some more smokes at the store (hands her money) we got business (the hooker walks passed Sandy and leaves, she shuts the door) Lance: you know the offer, five hundred grand makes this thing go away Sandy: oh well that's no offer that's extortion, she's willing to pay ya fifty thousand dollars, which could finance a handful of your masterpieces Lance: you need to add another zero ta that offer...otherwise this thing is streamin live on the internet in seventy two hours Sandy: d'you really think anyone's gonna care Lance: oh I think Julie will, enough ta save her magazine, her marriage Sandy: (nods) well...you'll be hearin from me Lance: its ben a pleasure (smiles) CUT TO: Outside Alex and Marissa's apartment - Ryan comes out the door followed by Marissa Marissa: this is gonna be great Ryan: ah glad you liked it Marissa: yeah an I'm glad Seth suggested you for the job Ryan: Seth...suggested me Marissa: yeah, why Ryan: nothing, he's um...kinda stuck in the past, thinks that now that he's back with Summer that...y'know Marissa: (realises, smiles) ah (looks down) Ryan: yeah, crazy Marissa: totally (shrugs) Ryan: yeah (they both stand there awkward, Marissa shrugs then they hug. it's a loose hug) Marissa: goodnight (Ryan starts walking away. we see Alex in her jeep watching them, and drinking beer. Marissa goes inside. we see Alex drink more then she gets out of the jeep. we see Ryan walking towards his car and the beer can comes flying at his head, he leans back and it only just misses him) Ryan: hey (Alex looks at him) you almost hit me Alex: I'm sorry, ill try again (slams the car door) Ryan: what'do you think your doin Alex: (walks over to Ryan) let me try'ta put it in a way you'll understand (shoves Ryan hard) stay away from her (points) Ryan: (laughs) Alex there's nothin goin on Alex: (yells, upset) what're you talking about studying late together sharing a sleeping bag yeah there's nothing going on (shoves Ryan again) at all Ryan Ryan: hey hey, listen to me Alex: no-no-no you listen ta me, (points) don't - go near - my girlfriend - again (Ryan looks at her) you understand (shoves Ryan again) me now Ryan: (moves closer to Alex, clearly losing his patience) (Alex glares at him) walk away Alex: I'm gone (Alex walks over to the apartment and Ryan just watches) CUT TO: Cohen bedroom the next morning - Sandy comes out of the bathroom in a robe with a towel around his neck and wet hair. Kirsten is sitting at the table reading Sandy: ah I'm sorry I missed you last night Kirsten: oh sorry I missed you to Sandy: mm (kisses Kirsten on the cheek) Kirsten: mm Sandy: the all consuming magazine (sits) Kirsten: and you were Sandy: also at work, on a new case Kirsten: another Newport calamity Sandy: no this is one id never seen before (almost laughing) I hope to never see it again Kirsten: oh Sandy: hey how bout you an I log a little quality time today Kirsten: id love to, but I have'ta work Sandy: ah with Carter Buckley Kirsten: actually without (Sandy listens) it turns out that Newport Living wasn't for him after all, when he didn't show up for work yesterday I went by his place an I found him...drowning in self pity and...Tequila Sandy: only a couple'a weeks in Newport an already his spirit is crushed, I never would'a thought that'd be possible, here's a guy who built the whole magazine around people who fought the system, no matter the cost (Kirsten looks at him, thinking) the guy was an inspiration to me (stands) Kirsten: you know uh that magazine of his, that you loved in college, do you happen to have a copy Sandy: revolution, yeah I probably do, it's probably in the office or y'know maybe the garage CUT TO: Ryan coming into the kitchen from the pool house - Seth is already in there Seth: hey man, how'd it go last night with Marissa Ryan: things with Marissa went great (sighs) Seth: good Ryan: mm...things with Alex (looks at Seth) no so much Seth: (looks at Ryan then turns away) Alex was there Ryan: yeah, she threw a beer can at my head Seth: what Ryan: then shoved me a couple times, yeah pretty hard actually Seth: that is one angry lesbian (Seth turns around and Ryan is looking at him) Seth: ok, here's the thing...I may have accidentally let a little something slip about you know Ryan: a tent Seth: no I didn't, yeah ok maybe, yes I did but I don't understand why she's makin such a big deal out of it, like there's somethin dirty about camping Ryan: an before Alex an I had our friendly little chat Marissa (Seth raises his eyebrows and walks away) mentioned that it was your idea that we work on the bonfire together Seth: uh I might've ben the one ta mention it but I don't think I should hog all the credit Ryan: (means it) stay out of it...just cause your back with Summer doesn't mean me an Marissa Seth: I know (Ryan looks at him) you were jus a lot happier back then ok so Ryan: well that was then Seth: alright (Ryan puts Captain Oats down on the bench then leaves, Seth watches then looks at Captain Oats) CUT TO: Alex and Marissa's apartment - we hear a phone ring and we see the scale model of the bonfire. it looks really good. Marissa opens the phone Message: you have one new message (Marissa presses a button then listens) Ryan: hey uh I'm not gonna be able ta make it tonight (Marissa closes her eyes) but uh the woods ordered and you have the plans so everything should be fine, have fun (Marissa hangs up, disappointed and Alex walks in from the hallway) Alex: who was that Marissa: (looks at Alex) oh, my mom (shrugs) more empty threats Alex: (moves closer) you were asleep last night when I got home Marissa: yeah, yeah I was really tired Alex: (sits) you should try sleeping in a tent, with Ryan (Marissa looks at her) (closes her eyes) oh but you (opens her eyes) already did that Marissa: (closes her eyes) look I'm sorry I was goin'a tell you that its jus, I didn't wanna make it a big deal Alex: well it wasn't until you lied Marissa: I didn't lie (Alex looks at her) I just- Alex: lied (Marissa doesn't say anything) (softly, hurt) no big deal (walks back up the hallway) (Marissa watches her helplessly, we hear a door slam and Marissa jumps then sighs and closes her eyes, she puts her hand up to her head) [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: Sandy's office - Julie walks in and Sandy is sitting behind his desk Julie: please tell me you have some good news Sandy: well unfortunately Lance is as sleazy as he looks, but not as dumb (stands) he owns the rights to the movie in perpetuity an you were a consenting adult when it was shot so if he wants to make money off it it's his prerogative Julie: Sandy, there's gotta be some way to stop him Sandy: yeah we could charge him with extortion (shrugs) an get an injunction but that would involve the authorities Julie: no, even if I paid him off there's nothing to stop him from leaking it anyway Sandy: look ill figure somethin out, you worry about Marissa ill handle the rest Julie: I can worry all I want, doesn't seem to help anything, why is it that the one person who knows what's best for their child is the last person that child wants to hear from Sandy: yeah we had a similar situation with Seth last summer an...all I can say is that sometimes it's not the message...it's the messenger (Julie looks as though she's thinking) CUT TO: Carters apartment - we can still hear the music blaring, Kirsten walks up and puts revolution in his mail box, with a post it note attached, she waits a second then walks away CUT TO: Summers bedroom - Summer is doing Marissa's hair and they are talking Summer: I don't know Coop, it sounds like a pretty bad fight I mean (shrugs) maybe you should just move home Marissa: I can't Summer: because you love Alex an where ever she is that's your home Marissa: cause it would make my mom too happy Summer: oh Marissa: god, what was I thinking Summer: well ya cant go to the bonfire with Ryan, then go home to Alex (shrugs) you cant ride two horses with one ass (Marissa looks at her) its a proverb (pushes Marissa's head to face forward again) Marissa: ok well Ryan's not going ta the bonfire Summer: what why, I thought it was like his idea Marissa: he didn't say but I know it's because of Alex Summer: I mean I'm confused I thought Alex wasn't going Marissa: she's not (raises eyebrows) but Ryan an I were working late at the apartment the other night and well somehow she found out about the mall an the tent (Summer frowns) and well I hadn't exactly told her about it Summer: (frowns) well if you didn't tell her then who did Marissa: mm (shrugs) Summer: (realises) oh I am going ta kick his ass back to last year (leaves) Marissa: whoa hello Summer (touches her hair) who's ass CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan is lying on his bed throwing a ball up in the air and catching it one handed. there's a knock at the door Ryan: not now Seth I'm (we hear the door open) busy Julie: hi, uh sorry to interrupt you (Ryan sits up) doing whatever it is you were doing, brooding is it Ryan: (now standing) yeah an right now I'm in the middle of a major session so if you could jus (Julie looks at him) ...what's goin on Julie: well actually (moves closer) I'm very glad that I caught you before you go to the bonfire Ryan: ah-ha (smiles) I'm not goin to the bonfire Julie: oh but you have'ta go Ryan: what're you an Seth workin on the same team now Julie: no I'm on my own mission I need help...with Marissa (Ryan listens) for whatever reason that I don't quite understand...she listens to you...she needs help Ryan: maybe she's happy where she is Julie: do you honestly think that Marissa knows what she wants right now, she is in so far over her head with this relationship, she's skipping school she's staying out all hours risking everything that's important to her jus to prove a point Ryan: ok, so what'do you want me ta do about it Julie: well I know that she wants ta come home, but if she does it for me its like she's letting me win, but if she does it for you- Ryan: no I'm not getting in the middle of Marissa's life...alright, not again, an especially her relationship with Alex Julie: this is not about Alex, its about Marissa and her future which we can both see is slipping away from her (Ryan listens) Ryan please help me...convince her to come home...(softly) you know that's what's for the best (Julie leaves and Ryan stands there) CUT TO: Ryan driving on the road - we then see him outside of Alex and Marissa's. he gets out of the car and knocks. Alex answers the door, drinking Alex: what the hell are you doing here Ryan: (pushes in) I'm lookin for Marissa Alex: this is you staying away Ryan: it's not about me I'm here cause of her mom Alex: (frowns) w-what, you an Julie Cooper a team now Ryan: yeah, where is she Alex: she's at her little bonfire Ryan: alright (goes to leave) Alex: (goes up to Ryan) no-no-no you remember what I told you last night (pokes) you stay away from her Ryan: or what Alex: you wanna find out Ryan: sure (smiles) Alex: you go down there, its - on Ryan: great, you know this sorta thing use'ta be my specialty (Ryan walks to the door then stops) oh, a little word of advice (Alex looks at him) you gotta work this hard, its not workin (Ryan leaves and Alex slams the door) CUT TO: The beach - the banner from earlier is attached to two long sticks holding it up in the air. there are kids everywhere and the bottom part of the bonfire is built. Marissa has a clipboard Guy: is this wood for the hind legs or the front it's just labeled leg Marissa: um...front I think Guy: (goes to walk away but stops) uh right or left Marissa: (puts her hands out) guess, the odds are fifty fifty (smiles) Girl: Marissa...uh the horses head seems to only fit the...hind quarters what'do we do uh we're running out of time Marissa: (lost) I don't know ok, I picked the font for the banner, I colour co-coordinated the balloons (pouting) this is not my area of expertise (Ryan walks up behind them) Ryan: maybe I can help Marissa: (turns around) hey (smiles) Ryan: hey Marissa: I thought you weren't coming Ryan: yeah well Captain Oats was concerned that he be well represented Marissa: mm-hmm Ryan: he's very self conscious he is...Seth's horse Marissa: so you gonna stick it out Ryan: uh...yeah if I'm needed Marissa: oh yeah, hang on (yells) hey everybody this is Ryan (points) he's gonna answer any an all of your questions (smiles) thanks (all the kids gather around Ryan holding pieces of wood and talking over each other. Marissa stands back. Ryan stands up so he can see over everybody) Ryan: (yells) hey (everyone quiets) great, that horse is gonna have its head up its ass if we're not careful, we need'a rotate the neck over to the other side (points) you guys in back you guys take care'a that, I need you ladies (points) right over there, you need'a hoe that area, hoe that thing down (Marissa watches him take charge and smiles) we need to uh we need to set the tiki torches over here (turns around) hey you with the gasoline, away from the fire what're you doin man, alright (claps) (Marissa is still watching) the suns gonna be down in about an hour, we can make this happen ok people lets go lets go (claps) CUT TO: Kirsten's office - Kirsten is sitting at her desk working and Carter walks in Carter: well that was a dirty trick (Kirsten looks up) haunting me with my past (holds up the magazine) Kirsten: (smiles) I was trying to inspire you Carter: you know lookin this thing over...it feels like a life time ago...what was I thinking making a magazine all about losers Kirsten: well at least they were lovable ones (Kirsten and Carter look at each other for a second) Carter: where'd you find this Kirsten: oh a crusading idealist who remembers every word of that magazine like it was yesterday (Carter looks at her) my husband (smiles) Carter: (nods) well ill have'ta meet him (Kirsten and Carter look at each other again) Kirsten: so what'do you think (smiles) you in Carter: you say subversive an irreverent I say Julie Cooper-Nichol, where's that leave us Kirsten: pretty much lost Carter: (smiles) well that's pretty much my favourite place to start (sits) I've got an idea, ok it's not really my idea CUT TO: The Cohen house - there is a knock at the door and Seth opens it. Summer is standing there with her hands on her hips Seth: Summer hey how are you (puts his arms out for a hug) Summer: I hope you have some Motrin in the house cause you are about to feel (twists Seth's arm behind his back) some pain Seth: ow, I jus wanted everyone ta be happy Summer: yeah well nice going cause now everybody is miserable Seth: ok (screws up his face) Summer: you need to start apologising starting with Ryan Seth: ok Summer: (pushes Seth) go (follows) (they are now in the pool house. they walk in but it appears empty) Seth: Ryan, you around...I'm here to...apologise Summer: he's not here Seth: yeah I know I can see that Summer: well where is he Seth: (puts his hands out) you think he went to the bonfire Summer: if so we have a four alarm emergency on our hands, break out your hose Cohen (Seth looks down towards his uh-hm "hose" {lol}) Summer: (closes her eyes) it's a metaphor Seth: (laughs) I know CUT TO: Lance's room - Sandy knocks on the door and Lance opens it Lance: you got me my money Sandy: I got this (holds up paper) Lance: (reads it then looks at Sandy) you're starting your own film company Sandy: what better star to hitch my wagon to then Julie Cooper Lance: so you're buyin the film from me Sandy: the master, the film an the negatives, we're gonna meet your offer (hands Lance money) Lance: (takes it) a hundred bucks Sandy: consider it a good faith deposit, I need two weeks to raise the rest Lance: I sign this...I get half a mill in two weeks Sandy: that's right (the next thing we see is Lance signing the contract. he stands up and gives it to Sandy) Sandy: an Lance jus so you know, if one frame of this leaks onta the internet (looks at Lance) an I'm not sayin that would happen cause you seem like a stand up guy, we're comin after ya for ten times the amount alright (Lance looks worried) for copyright infringement an piracy...and you could go to jail (hands Lances copy of the contract over) (Sandy leaves and Lance looks like he just got screwed {lol} CUT TO: Caleb's mansion - we hear the phone ringing and Julie answers it Julie: hello (we see Sandy in the kitchen on the phone) Sandy: I got some good news an some not so good news Julie: the good news first, always Sandy: you don't have'ta worry about the movie surfacing...as long as we pay him which is the bad news Julie: an where am I gonna get this money Sandy: your gonna have'ta talk ta Caleb...an hopefully he'll understand Julie: (laughs) oh yeah sure he will, I am so screwed Sandy: oh I know, I saw the footage (Julie doesn't look impressed) CUT TO: The beach - we see the Trojan horse now completed. it looks great! there are cheerleaders dancing, music and clapping. everyone's having a good time. Marissa is wearing a Harbor sweatshirt. she walks over to Ryan Marissa: (smiles) this is going great Ryan: (turns around and smiles then it goes) not for long (Marissa turns around to where Ryan is looking. we see Alex walking up with 2 rough looking guys) Marissa: (smiles) hey, what are you doing here (Alex looks at Ryan) are these your friends Alex: yeah, there here to see Ryan Ryan: (smiles) you've gotta be kidding me Guy: (walks over to Ryan) why do you think this is funny Marissa: hey (the 2 big guys push Ryan) Marissa: guys stop it, guys seriously stop it (stands in front of Alex) (yells) ok cut it out (the cheerleaders stop dancing and everyone goes quiet. Ryan is standing between the 2 guys with his arms out keeping them away from him. Marissa sees that everyone is looking at them) Marissa: oh no not you guys, you guys are great (claps) go Harbor (puts her fist in the air) (the cheering, dancing etc starts again) Marissa: (turns around to Alex) this is between you an me Alex: fine then lets talk, you an me Marissa: fine Ryan: (to one of the guys) I like the wrist cuff (Alex and Marissa walk away from everybody to a deserted spot further down the beach) Marissa: you wanna tell me what the hell is going on Alex: I jus wanna talk Marissa: you wanna talk, why don't you tell me why you brought two skeazy ex cons to my school bonfire Alex: (yells) I am sorry if I interrupted your bonfire it jus seems like that's all you ever do lately Marissa: (yells) well I didn't realise moving in with you meant giving up my life Alex: I didn't ask you to give up your life, all I ever wanted was to be apart of it Marissa: well this (points) is my life ok...that's it...so what'do you think (Alex looks at Marissa, Marissa sits down on a log. Alex goes and sits across from her) Alex: (upset) ...I think...this is your life...(almost crying) an I don't fit in (Marissa looks away) pep rally's, cheerleaders...boys Marissa: nothing happened with Ryan Alex: yeah not yet but what'do you give it a week, a month (Marissa looks down, upset. Alex is looking away as well, teary) Marissa: (upset) I really wanted this to work between us (a tear falls) (Alex nods) look I'm sorry if I hurt you Alex: (closes her eyes) I'm sorry...that I brought two skeazy ex cons to your bonfire (Marissa smiles) actually one of them ever really served time but Marissa: (nods, looks at Alex) ...so what happens now Alex: who knows...think I might go back home (Marissa looks shocked and heartbroken) save some money, go back to school (nods) that actually looks kinda fun Marissa: (turns around) yeah, from really far away (smiles) (Alex looks at Marissa, teary. Marissa looks at Alex just as sad then they both stand up and hug. Alex holds onto Marissa tightly. Marissa holds onto Alex tightly, another tear fall and she sniffs. Alex has her head buried in Marissa's shoulder with her eyes closed, after a little while they pull apart) Alex: come on...your gonna miss the human pyramid (laughs) (Marissa laughs) (they both walk back over towards the bonfire together. we see the cheerleaders making the pyramid. everyone claps and cheers) Ryan: (to one of the guys) pretty good huh (the guy doesn't say anything) not inta the school spirit thing that's cool (Ryan looks at his watch and Alex touches his back. he turns around. Marissa is standing behind Alex) Alex: I'm sorry (sniffs) it wasn't about you Ryan: I know, that's ok (Alex turns around and looks at Marissa, Marissa looks at Alex one last time. they both half smile then Alex walks off with the 2 rough guys. Marissa watches Alex leave for a second then moves closer to Ryan) Ryan: you ok Marissa: yeah (nods and looks down, sad {it reminds of when Jimmy left and she's in the Cohen kitchen, that's the look she has}) (Ryan puts his arm around her shoulder and they turn and face the bonfire) Marissa: now all that's left is lighting the bonfire (Ryan looks at her) (Seth and Summer arrive further up the beach, they watch from a distance) Summer: (frowns) well I don't hear any screaming Seth: I don't see any ambulances Summer: maybe we're here just in time Seth: or maybe someone was right (we see Ryan and Marissa walking over to the bonfire together, Ryan still has his arm around her) all along (points) (Summer looks at him) (a guy dressed as a pirate hands the torch to Marissa. Ryan is standing next to her with his arm around her shoulder still {awww} Marissa: thanks (to Ryan) you know what this honors yours (hands Ryan the torch) Ryan: (thinks) we built it together, lets burn it together (Marissa smiles and holds the torch as well. they lean forward and light it, both smiling. we see the fire start to go up the wood then we see them walking away. Summer and Seth walk down towards them just as the fire gets bigger and more intense) Seth: hey, I think Captain Oats would be very proud (Marissa smiles) or deeply disturbed by this visual (Marissa and Ryan turn around to watch. the fire is much higher now and starting to burn the horse) Summer: you guys it's so good Marissa: thanks Seth, for making it all happen Seth: (to Summer) oh see that there thanking me, that's nice Summer: so what'do you guys wanna do now (Marissa looks at Ryan) Ryan: (looks at Marissa) feel like goin home (Marissa closes her eyes and nods and smiles. they look back at the fire. Seth puts his arm around Summer and we see the bonfire burning. we see it from a bit away, and we see the four of them standing	Plan: A: Seth; Q: Who is determined to bring back the spirit and fun of last year? A: Alex's jealousy; Q: What is fueled when Marissa enlists an unlikely partner to help her with the school bonfire? A: Kirsten; Q: Who wants Carter to stay with the magazine despite his reservations? A: the magazine; Q: What does Kirsten want Carter to stick with despite his reservations? A: Sandy; Q: Who helps Julie keep her blackmailer at bay? Summary: Seth is determined to bring back the spirit and fun times of last year and won't stop until his plan is fulfilled. Alex's jealousy is fueled when Marissa enlists an unlikely partner to help her with the school bonfire. Meanwhile, Kirsten wants Carter to stick with the magazine despite his reservations and Sandy helps Julie keep her blackmailer at bay.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars... Veronica and Duncan watch the tape of Lilly and Aaron in 122 Leave It to Beaver. VERONICA: Oh my God. DUNCAN: Mr. Echolls? VERONICA: I know what happened. Flashback to Aaron killing Lilly. VERONICA: [offscreen] He's psychotic. Weevil confronts Veronica after learning that she suspects that he killed Lilly. WEEVIL: These rich boys think they can get away with anything, don't they? The PCH biker gang come across Logan, perched on the edge of the Coronado Bridge. LOGAN: What do you think you can do to me, huh? WEEVIL: I'll think of something. At the Kane residence, Veronica pauses before leaving to take the tapes to her father. VERONICA: My dad had a paternity test. I'm not your sister. While driving, Veronica screams when Aaron pops up in the back seat. AARON: Keep driving. Aaron interrogates Veronica who is trapped in the refrigerator. AARON: Veronica, where are the tapes? Keith arrives at the scene. Veronica screams as the fridge fills with smoke. Keith goes into the fire to rescue her. Veronica cries over the body of her injured father. VERONICA: I knew you'd come; I knew you'd save me. End previously. INT - THE HUT - NIGHT. Three customers enter the coffee shop and approach the hostess desk. Veronica is the hostess. VERONICA: Table for three? CUSTOMER: Uh-huh. CUSTOMER: Mm-hmm. VERONICA: Right this way. CUSTOMER: Uh-huh. Veronica picks up menus from the hostess desk and leads the customers to their table. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Normal. That's the watchword. Sounds good, doesn't it? Music: Breathin' by Asylum Street Spankers LYRICS: Is it hard to love you, baby? Well, I'd say the answer's no 'Cause I've been something of a fool at this so as far as these things go, It's as easy as a-b-c, it's like learning how to count You know that loving you is just like breathin' in and breathin' out. It's not something that I can just decide that I no longer do You know I couldn't help but love you even if I wanted to It's an involuntary reflex, of that I have no doubt You know that loving you is just like breathin' in and breathin' out. Like the sun it rises every day and sets when you need coats And just how springtime always rolls around when wintertime is done Like the birds and bees instinctively know what it's all about You know that loving you is just like breathin' in and breathin' out. It's just something about the way you touch me when we're all alone It's a something in your smile that thrills me straight through to my bones And it's just something in the way you make me scream you make me shout. You know that loving you is just like breathin' in and breathin' out. Like breathin' in and breathin' out Like breathin' in and breathin' out Like breathin' in and breathin' out VERONICA VOICEOVER: Senior year begins tomorrow and all appears hunky dory. Best friend? Check. Boyfriend? Check. Lilly's killer behind bars? Check. Veronica seats the customers at their table and passes out the menus. VERONICA: A waitress will be right with you. She walks back to the hostess desk. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Normal job, just like other people my age. I just wish fewer of my classmates showed up here. One of those classmates, Kelvin Moore, enters the Hut. Veronica and he meet at the hostess desk. VERONICA: Kelvin Moore. One? KELVIN: [hesitant] Ah, I need your help, Veronica. VERONICA: In finding a table? I'm your girl. KELVIN: Hey, I just got kicked out of athletics for my entire senior year. I failed the mandatory drug test. VERONICA: So what's new Kelvin? You failed it last year too, if I remember correctly. KELVIN: Yeah, but I'm clean now for going on ten months. Veronica holds out her hands. VERONICA: Give me your hands, look into my eyes, and swear to that fact. Kelvin puts his hands into hers, and looks into her eyes. KELVIN: Veronica, I swear that there is no possible way I could have failed that drug test. Veronica gives the appearance of being in deep thought. VERONICA: Hmm. KELVIN: So am I lying? She shrugs. VERONICA: I don't know. KELVIN: [laughing] Then what was all that for? VERONICA: I just wanted to see if you'd do it. You were very convincing, but I don't do that kind of work anymore. Veronica starts tidying the hostess desk. KELVIN: So who's supposed to help me out then? She shrugs again. VERONICA: Encyclopedia Brown? I hear he's good. KELVIN: I guess it's true what they say about you then, huh? VERONICA: [peeved] Probably, but you're going to have to narrow it down for me. KELVIN: [derisive] You're a 09er now. You went and landed yourself some rich boyfriend. A-a-and last year was just some-some big old act for you. You gotta pick sides in this town these days. You picked yours. Veronica opens her mouth as if to answer, but says nothing. KELVIN: Figures how none of the rich kids failed their drug test now, huh? Well, I gotta jet. See you around Veronica. You sleep well. Kelvin backs out of the entryway and leaves. VERONICA: [sarcastically] What, no biscotti? She stares after him. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Yeah, kind of bitchy, I know, but Kelvin's a bully. I'll sleep just fine. Veronica's words don't quite match her bothered expression. CUTE AS A BUG MANAGER: Veronica! Come here, check it out. Veronica walks over to the manager, who points the remote up at a television above the bar area. JULIE CHEN: Now, I can remember the intensive... CUTE AS A BUG MANAGER: Your dad's on television. Veronica and the manager watch. Keith, in San Diego is on "The Scene," being interviewed by Julie Chen, in New York. Both are shown in boxes under which a tickertape runs: ...kes a no gun offensive policy. Weather: Phoenix AZ High 103 Low 84. Miami, FL High 93 Low 81. NewYork, NY High 84 Low 75. Seattle, WA High 63 Low 53, Los Angeles, CA High 86 Low 67. U.S News: United States Senate votes yes on more military aid in Iraq and yes on more... JULIE CHEN: ...coverage of the Lilly Kane murder, the press made you out to be some kind of Barney Fife character. Keith grins. JULIE CHEN:Are you feeling a sense of redemption? As Keith responds, he is given the whole screen and the description: Keith Mars. Co-Author, Big Murder, Small Town. KEITH: A sense of relief would probably be more accurate. Um, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have days, weeks even, of doubting myself. Julie Chen asks another question as Veronica goes into a reverie. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Ah yes, the book. Dad didn't want any part of it, but given the medical bills, Dad's convalescence, and Mom running off with fifty grand, he had to listen when the crime reporter from the San Diego Tribune secured a book advance for his story. Back on the screen, Keith continues to tell his story. The tickertape has gone backwards, repeating the end of the weather and the start of the news on the Senate's vote. KEITH: What I did know was that Mr. Kane was lying about the circumstance of his daughter's... CUTE AS A BUG MANAGER: Your dad's hot! Veronica throws her a WTF? look. On the television, Julie Chen, with her own name bannered across, is now in full face. The tickertape: ...lion dollars. World News: Uganda Senate decides on aid for malnutritioned tribes in territories. Japan military takes a no gun offensive policy. Weather: Ph... JULIE CHEN: Take us back to that night three months ago, the night Aaron Echolls was captured. You were nearly burned alive rescuing your daughter. Keith struggles to hold back his emotion. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Come on, Dad, just lay it out there for her: father crawls through fire to save daughter, father rushed to hospital, daughter's night? Just beginning. Pause music: Breathin' by Asylum Street Spankers. FLASHBACK: INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Veronica is woken by a knock at the door. She checks the clock. It is 3:07. She gets out of bed and opens the door. VERONICA: I was hoping it would be you. There is no response. The person has his back to her. Her soft smile turns to one of concern, either because of his failure to turn around and respond or because in the darkness, she initially thought it was someone else. VERONICA: Logan? He slowly turns around. His face is a bloody mess. LOGAN: Hey, Veronica. She gasps at what she sees. He stumbles into her. VERONICA: Logan, what happened? She holds him. Cut to later. Veronica is sat on the couch. Logan lies in her lap, his legs extended along the couch. One arm and his feet dangle off the side. Veroncia is gently wiping away blood. Logan struggles to talk. LOGAN: They got me alone on the bridge. VERONICA: Who's they? LOGAN: Ahhh, it was Weevil and all the PCHers. FLASHBACK WITHIN FLASHBACK: EXT - CORONADO BRIDGE - NIGHT. Logan is balancing on the bridge's edge. Weevil takes off his helmet and watches him from his bike. LOGAN: Seriously, what do you--what do you think you can do to me, huh? WEEVIL: I'll think of something. VERONICA: [offscreen] What were you doing there? On the bridge, Logan does his Matrix bring-it-on gesture. LOGAN: [offscreen] Having a drink? Well, what do you think, Veronica? I mean, you'd broken up with me; you accused me of killing Lilly. Weevil gets off the bike, as does Felix. Weevil marches towards Logan. He looks over as a car honks as it passes. Logan takes the opportunity to land the first blow and kicks Weevil hard in the head. Weevil goes down with a groan. Logan jumps up and down on his narrow perch. LOGAN: Whoo-hoo. One down. FELIX: Oh, son. Logan looks over at Felix, the smirk momentarily fading. FELIX: You don't know what you just did. Logan laughs. Felix leads the bikers as they grab him and pull him off the ledge. BIKER: Get him, man. Logan is pulled back and thrown onto the ground. Felix and the other bikers, of which there are five, commence beating and kicking him. He doesn't fight back and does little to protect himself. Eventually he stops moving. This doesn't stop the beating. END FLASHBACK WITHIN FLASHBACK. FLASHBACK: INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. VERONICA: You're lucky you're alive. Veronica strokes his hair. Logan doesn't respond for a moment. He glances up at her then returns to staring up at the ceiling. LOGAN: Yeah, well, that's one way of looking at it. Logan gives a deep sigh. VERONICA: What is that supposed to mean? FLASHBACK WITHIN FLASHBACK: EXT - CORONADO BRIDGE - NIGHT. Logan is still on the ground, just coming round. DRIVER: [offscreen] Are you okay? Just lay there; I've called an ambulance. Logan wipes blood from his eyes and looks up. His vision is still blurred. He sees a man standing over him as his vision clears. DRIVER: Why don't you do me a favor and drop that knife. LOGAN: Huh? Logan looks down at his hand. He is holding a knife. There is a small pool of blood under it. He looks past his hand. Felix is laying a little way from him. He is dead, his pale shirt stained with blood from a stab to the chest. VERONICA: [offscreen] Oh my god, Logan. END FLASHBACK WITHIN FLASHBACK. FLASHBACK: INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Logan looks up at Veronica, wide-eyed. LOGAN: No, but I didn't stab him, Veronica. VERONICA: [quickly] I believe you. LOGAN: I threw the knife in the water and I-I got in my car and drove. Veronica closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. VERONICA: [gently, but urgently] Logan, there's something that you need to know about your dad- LOGAN: Aaron Echolls? Charged with murder? It's all over the radio. Logan breaks with shuddering sobs. Veronica holds him a little closer. He groans as he cries. There is a knock at the door. They both glance up at the door. Cut to Veronica opening the door again. It's Leo. LEO: [gently] Hey Veronica. She stares at him. LEO: I'm looking for Logan Echolls. Saw his SUV parked out front. I know he's here, uh...this would be better for everyone. Veronica sighs and pushes the door further open so Leo can see Logan, still laying on the coach. Leo drops his head then looks up at Veronica. He sees the bruise on her cheek. He reaches out and puts his hand on the side of her neck, leaning in to get a better look. He strokes her gently as he enters the apartment and walks over to Logan. Veronica doesn't turn around to watch, instead sagging against the door, sad. LEO: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. END FLASHBACK. INT - THE HUT - CONTINUING. Resume music: Breathin' by Asylum Street Spankers. Veronica and the manager are still watching Keith on the TV. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Suffice to say, I've got plenty of material for any back-to-school what-I-did-last-summer essay I'm asked to write. Veronica takes the remote from the manager's hand, points it at the screen and switches the television. She hands the remote back and walks away. The manager has the hump. CUTE AS A BUG MANAGER: I was watching that. End music: Breathin' by Asylum Street Spankers. EXT - NEPTUNE HIGH SCHOOL (NHS) - DAY. Veronica, with a new, chocolate-colored bag, walks past one of the notice boards. Various posters fill the boards and the sides of the school, including one that says "Seniors On Track!" Wallace is coming up fast behind her. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Here it is, senior year. A fresh start. Try not to screw it up, Veronica. Wallace catches up and keeps pace beside her. VERONICA: Seniors rule! Veronica body-checks Wallace but he is not in as good a mood as Veronica. WALLACE: Hey. You didn't call me back last night. Veronica throws her arm around him. VERONICA: Don't go getting all girl on me. WALLACE: Man, I got kicked off the basketball team. Veronica stops walking and then so does Wallace. VERONICA: What? Wallace turns back to face her. WALLACE: I failed my drug test. I'm booted from athletics for the whole year. VERONICA: You don't do drugs. WALLACE: No duh, Sherlock. And it wasn't just me. Five of us total failed--and Jimmy Day, our starting quarterback, he passed it. And everybody saw him blazing one up down on the boardwalk. VERONICA: I heard no 09ers failed it. WALLACE: Think it's a conspiracy? VERONICA: This is Neptune. Nothing happens accidentally. WALLACE: [sighs] Well you were wrong about the drug test. One 09er did fail. VERONICA: Who? WALLACE: You're not gonna believe it, either. VERONICA: I'm not the one who's easily shocked. WALLACE: Meg. Veronica is shocked. VERONICA: Meg? Veronica begins to walk away, shaking her head and thinking. WALLACE: So you'll help? Wallace follows her. VERONICA: Do you even have to ask? They walk on. VERONICA: Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in. Opening credits. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - DAY. Veronica and Wallace come out of the school, carrying their drinks. They pass another banner on the school wall, "Welcome Class of 2006." WALLACE: So you're standing there in nothing but a jock. They hand you this little itty-bitty cup. You go into the stall; you do your business. Then as you watch, they seal it with this piece of tape. And then they make you sign the tape. VERONICA: And then what? WALLACE: Then they send it to a lab. And if the seal is broken, the lab is supposed to reject it. They sit at an empty table. VERONICA: So there's no way anyone could have switched the samples. WALLACE: Nope. Veronica pulls her bag up onto the table and starts looking through it. VERONICA: Hey, what period do you have office aide this year? WALLACE: Believe it or not, I didn't sign up for a second year of office aide. VERONICA: Yeah, that doesn't work for me. WALLACE: Well you can take that up with Moms. She had these crazy ideas about me having a well-rounded education. But don't underestimate me. He holds up a key. WALLACE: The master key. Veronica takes the key, pleased. Wallace scoots closer over to her, pulling out a slip of paper. WALLACE: Yeah, and I got all the administrative passwords I could get my hands on. Veronica grabs the paper. VERONICA: Ooo, you're good. WALLACE: You know, you know. I get all my criminal tendencies from you. So how you gonna go at this? VERONICA: Try to figure out what the connection is between all the people that failed the test. Got any enemies you know about? WALLACE: Well, there's the Klan. VERONICA: This is not really their MO. WALLACE: I guess that leaves everybody that hates you. Veronica gives him a rueful glance. Wallace grins and Veronica pouts prettily. Wallace looks around. WALLACE: So where's your boyfriend? I expected to be ignored at lunch today. VERONICA: He's skipping the first couple of days of school. He's visiting his dad. WALLACE: Well, why would he want to do that? Wallace gets up from the table, grabbing his bottle of drink. VERONICA: That's what I said. WALLACE: Later. Wallace exits, leaving Veronica to ponder. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I'll say this: there was something much easier about having a secret relationship. But I guess, from now on, that's next to impossible. FLASHBACK: INT - THE HUT - DAY. Veronica checks some customers and then walks towards the manager. CUTE AS A BUG MANAGER: That guy over there asked to sit in your section. You know him? Veronica looks over and sees Duncan sitting at one of the tables. She smiles. VERONICA: Yeah, I know him. CUTE AS A BUG MANAGER: Okay. She walks over to his table. VERONICA: Hey. DUNCAN: Hey. VERONICA: I haven't seen you around this summer. DUNCAN: Yeah, it's been kind of complicated. You know, parents on trial, Mom and Dad finally had enough. They've moved up to the Napa house for the duration, at least 'til this blows over. VERONICA: But you're staying here? DUNCAN: I don't want to transfer to a new school for my senior year. I have the Presidential Suite at the Neptune Grand. Duncan waggles his eyebrows and Veronica smiles. VERONICA: Of course you do. The manager appears at her elbow. CUTE AS A BUG MANAGER: Veronica, your boyfriend's here. Veronica is a little uncomfortable as she turns and sees Logan waiting near the hostess desk. He sees Duncan and moves in a little further. She turns back to Duncan. DUNCAN: Latte, when you get a minute? VERONICA: Okay, yeah. Duncan watches as she approaches Logan. Logan watches him watch. VERONICA: Hi. LOGAN: Hey. VERONICA: Hey. Logan is still pretty beat up, his face bearing bruises. He looks down at her as she rises up on her toes to give him a quick kiss. He is having none of it and deepens the kiss until she pulls away. LOGAN: Hey, babe. He strokes her cheek. VERONICA: Hi. END FLASHBACK. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - CONTINUING. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Logan and Duncan don't speak anymore. I guess that's what happens when your best friend starts dating your ex. Now, where was I? Veronica turns around and sees Kelvin at a table behind her, laughing with some other students. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Oh yeah. Who's out to get Neptune's top athletes? Veronica grabs her bag and her bottle of water and joins Kelvin, sitting down at his table. VERONICA: Kelvin, I've had a change of heart. KELVIN: Oh yeah. I, uh, heard your beard Wallace got nailed too. So, uh, I guess that changes everything now, huh? VERONICA: I guess so. So, and I mean other than me, can you think of anyone who would want to do this to you? KELVIN: Nuh--people love me. VERONICA: No, they don't. You pick on the weak and helpless. KELVIN: I call a geek a geek, if that's what you mean. But now that I think about it, there was this one kid who swore he'd ruin my life but, he doesn't have the cajones, trust me. VERONICA: Who? Veronica reaches down into her bag. She pulls out her camera. KELVIN: This kid, a sophomore. They call him "Butters." You know, he was climbing the pegboard in gym class before PE last year, trying to show off. He pissed me off. VERONICA: So? KELVIN: So I pantsed him. It was hysterical. VERONICA: Wow, you're cool. Veronica takes a picture of Kelvin and on the flash, the scene cuts to later. Veronica is now talking to Jilly Ho. JILLY: My dad's getting sued by Boatloads of Fun Corp. Veronica is still carrying the camera. VERONICA: They don't sound fun at all. JILLY: Yeah. My dad brokers vacation property down in Cabo. He leased a beach house to a group of families that call themselves "Boatloads of Fun." You know, Steve Wacker's friends and that crowd? Well, the roof leaked in one room. So now they're demanding all their money back. Veronica takes another picture and does another time jump forward. She and Viet Nguyen are walking towards the lunch area from the car park. Veronica's bag is on her shoulder. VIET: You know Jennings Crawford? VERONICA: Who doesn't? Veronica reaches down in the bag for her camera. VIET: I beat him out for number one singles last year. He threw a fit. His parents even tried to have Coach Hart fired. There was a school board meeting and they brought in Ille Nastase to testify that Jennings was a better tennis player. It was crazy. VERONICA: Hmm. Veronica takes his picture. VERONICA: Thanks. Viet walks away. VERONICA VOICEOVER: There used to be one 09er girl I could call "friend." Veronica looks up and sees Meg, disposing of her lunch debris at a large trash can in front of one of the Welcome signs. VERONICA VOICEOVER: She was the one of her kind who actually treated me like a human when no one else in that crowd did. When Duncan broke up with her, she blamed it on me. Things have been chilly, at best, ever since. Veronica, determined, approaches Meg. She adopts a cheerful demeanor. VERONICA: Meg, hey. Senior year, huh? We're almost done. Meg is very unwelcoming. MEG: Did you want something? VERONICA: Well, I heard that you were kicked off the cheerleading squad. MEG: Yeah, but you know me, I'm a major stoner. It was really affecting me too. I was like, [in cheer rhythm] "Let's go, let's go, L-E-T-S...duh...." VERONICA: Can you think of anyone who might have done this to you? MEG: Well there is this one person. I used to think she was a friend but, ah, but yeah, yeah now that I think about it, she'd have no reservations and she definitely has the talent to pull it off. Let me know if you have any luck tracking her down, okay? Meg walks away from Veronica. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. The school has introduced security scanners at the entrance, staffed by two security guards. Students have to pass through the scanners to enter. Veronica sets of the scanner and her bag is searched by the guards. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The metal detectors are new, but they come as no surprise. Veronica sets of the scanner and her bag is searched by the guards. GUARD: Can I see your bag? The guard does a quick search. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Tensions in Neptune are the highest they've ever been between the haves and the have-nots... GUARD: Go ahead. The guard returns her bag and Veronica continues on her way. VERONICA VOICEOVER: ...09ers and non-09ers. And guess who the lightning rod is? FLASHBACK: EXT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Logan, in a suit, is being led by lawyers through a hostile crowd on the steps of the building that houses both the sheriff's department and the court. Journalists shove mics in front of his face and the crowd is braying. Signs are held up by some of those in the crowd: "Justice Now," "And Justice 4 All," "And Justice for All." Logan is a little shell-shocked by it all. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The passing motorist who probably saved Logan's life called 9-1-1, then he left the scene before the police arrived. The knife that killed Felix was never found. Logan's high-priced lawyers crushed the PCHers who testified against Logan at preliminary hearing. "Weren't they there, after all, to kill Logan?" "Didn't Logan have the bruises and broken ribs to prove it?" "If Logan did stab Felix, wasn't it self-defence?" Logan finally reaches the limo at the foot of the steps and is pushed inside. Veronica is there, watching him, a little wary. Logan is still staring at the angry crowd. He looks scared and bemused in equal measure. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The DA decided he didn't have enough evidence to convict, so six weeks after he was arrested, Logan walked. As the limo sets off, Veronica places her hand loosely on top of his, resting on his thigh. He doesn't looks at her. VERONICA VOICEOVER: And the town went crazy. Another rich kid getting off scot-free. END FLASHBACK. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. In her bedroom, Veronica marks a whiteboard on which she has put the names and photos of the four students who failed their drug tests - Kelvin, Viet, Jilly, and Meg. Under each is the sporting discipline - football, tennis, volleyball, and cheerleading. She has just added Wallace's picture and is writing his name under it. Wallace comes into view from behind the board as he paces. WALLACE: You know what else I found out today? This failed drug test goes on my permanent file. Any college I apply to is gonna see it. VERONICA: Well, if you would have taken another year of office aide, we could have done something about that file. Veronica writes "Basketball" under Wallace's name on the board. WALLACE: Yeah, 'cause this is my fault. Did you learn anything today? Veronica finishes her task with satisfaction and recaps and restores the pen to the bottom of the board. VERONICA: Kelvin Moore, while giving up his pot-smoking ways, has not giving up being an obnoxious jackwad. He pantsed that sophomore, Butters? WALLACE: Yeah, I was there. VERONICA: You were? WALLACE: Yeah, it was in the gym after a spring sports pep-rally. A few of us were there, even some cheerleaders. I have never seen somebody blush like that. People were laughing. Butters was swearing at everybody. He said he was gonna get even. VERONICA: Cheerleaders. Was Meg there? WALLACE: I think she was. Wallace walks around Veronica to look at the board. WALLACE: Viet was there. Jilly Ho was there. VERONICA: Try and remember. Were you one of the ones laughing? WALLACE: What can I say? It was fuuh-nny! He laughs. Veronica is disapproving. WALLACE: It was-. He thinks better of it. Cut to them as they head into the lounge of the apartment. VERONICA: I'll talk to Butters tomorrow, get this sussed out. WALLACE: Hey, did you know that you're my hero? They hear the front door open. WALLACE: Mr Mars, I saw you on TV last night. A slimmer Keith enters and gives a little head bow as he closes the door behind him. KEITH: Wallace. Keith puts down his bag. VERONICA: I know a twenty-four-year-old floozie who thinks you're hot. KEITH: This floozie, did you get her digits? WALLACE: Hey, alright, now don't make me have to go home and tell my momma. KEITH: Wallace, your mom and I have an understanding. VERONICA: You do? KEITH: Yes, and it's this: I behave myself and she doesn't leave me. So please, tell her nothing... He puts his hands together in prayer. KEITH: ...other than I worship the ground on which she treads. Wallace is sufficiently grossed out to hasten his exit as Veronica laughs. WALLACE: I'm leaving now. KEITH: "Ground on which she treads." You might want to write that down. Wallace turns back from the door to reassure Keith. WALLACE: Got it. KEITH: Night. Keith shuts the door behind Keith and walks towards Veronica, who has moved to the kitchen. KEITH: So, senior year. How was your first day of school, honey? VERONICA: Great. I beat up a freshman, stole his lunch money and then skipped out after lunch. KEITH: What, no premarital s*x? VERONICA: Oh, yeah, yes. But don't worry, Dad, I swear you're gonna like these guys. KEITH: That's my girl. He reaches for her. VERONICA: I missed you. He pulls her into a close hug and kisses the top of her head. KEITH: Aw, I missed you, too. Now where's my turkey pot pie, woman? Veronica smiles. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. Veronica spots the person she is looking for. She walks towards a rough-looking boy at his open locker. VERONICA: Butters? VINCENT: [bitterly] "Butters" is the name of the weak loser suck-up on South Park. "Butters" implies soft, fat-- VERONICA: But oh, so delicious. VINCENT: Vincent is my given name. VERONICA: I hear you were pantsed in gym last spring, Vincent. VINCENT: Are you requesting a private viewing? VERONICA: And now, the guy who pantsed you, and all the people who might have chuckled, end up kicked off athletics for the year. Curious. VINCENT: Justice. It can be a bitch. VERONICA: So you got even? Is that it? VINCENT: It looks that way. VERONICA: You're playing a dangerous game. Kelvin will take your head off if I tell him you're the reason he's off football this year. Vincent looks over her shoulder and smirks. VINCENT: You know what? I don't think he will. Hey, Pop. Striding past Veronica is Clemmons. CLEMMONS: Son. Clemmons doesn't slow, but he glances down at Veronica. She exhales and looks up at Vincent, who is smug, arching his eyebrows. Veronica just barely shakes her head is disgust. INT - NHS, ADMINISTRATION OFFICE - NIGHT. The janitor disappears around the corner of the hallway as Veronica and Wallace approach the door and enter the office. They head for the door to Clemmons office. (Has he switched offices with the counselor?). Veronica opens it with the key. INT - NHS, CLEMMONS OFFICE - CONTINUING. A picture of Vincent graces Clemmons's desk. Veronica and Wallace check behind them as they sneak in and shut the door. WALLACE: Permanent files are in that brownish-beige filing cabinet. VERONICA: I can't believe after a year of working here, you don't know the make and model of the filing cabinet. Veronica digs a large bunch of keys out of her bag. WALLACE: Yeah, it is hard to believe. Usually, memorizing that information is the first thing I do when I enter a room containing a filing cabinet. VERONICA: Well, get comfortable, then, Mr Sarcastic, because this might take a while. Unless... Veronica moves over to Clemmons's desk to check the drawers. WALLACE: Hey, I can't believe you didn't know Butters was Clemmons' kid. VERONICA: He was a freshman. I make it a point not to know freshmen. She opens a drawer and bingo. She grabs the key and holds it up to Wallace. VERONICA: Scary, isn't it? The lax security? Veronica heads back to the filing cabinet. VERONICA: What if someone was trying to alter your permanent file? WALLACE: We're trying to alter it, right now. Veronica gets the cabinet open. VERONICA: Alter it back, there's a difference. Wallace joins her at the cabinet as Veronica pulls out a file. WALLACE: "Alter it back." Cool. I was wondering where we were drawing that ethical line this year. Veronica looks through the file. VERONICA: And there it is. Veronica heads to Clemmons's desk and sits down. VERONICA: The way I imagine it, the results were all overnighted to Mr. Clemmons, but before the elder Clemmons reviewed them, Junior got in and forged the negative results. I just need to get my hands on them to prove it. Can you pull a couple of other negative results for me to compare them to? Wallace nods and digs into the files. Veronica turns on the desk lamp, pulls out a small magnifier and sets to work. Through the magnifier, she inspects the print on the Wallace's test result which reads, in red, "Subject tests positive for marijuana use." Another test reads, in black, "Subject tests negative for all illegal substances." Some time has passed when Veronica raises her head from the papers she has been examining. WALLACE: Anything? VERONICA: Nothing. There's no way this could've been altered. Different color inks, full sentences, I thought it might just be a checkmark but there's no eraser marks, no whiteout, and both hand-signed by... She peers closely at the slip of paper she holds. VERONICA: ...Jim Chimery. WALLACE: Jim Chimery? VERONICA: That's the guy's name, the lab tech who signed off on the results. WALLACE: So there's no alterations, there's no forgery. VERONICA: So it appears. WALLACE: So I'm screwed, basically. VERONICA: Unless the results were accurate. WALLACE: [in faux-Jamaican accent] Yah, mon, maybe I smoke so much ganga I don't even remember doing it. VERONICA: What if you did ingest an illegal substance but it was such a mild dose that you weren't even aware of it? Eat any mystery brownies lately? WALLACE: Spirit bo--. Spirit boxes, the day of the back-to-school athletics banquet there were spirit boxes in our lockers. There weren't any brownies in there, but there were cookies. VERONICA: Did you eat one? WALLACE: I ate six. Wallace grins. VERONICA: That's my Wallace. Veronica starts to pack up. VERONICA: Well, can you meet me at my house in, say, twenty minutes? I'm gonna stop at the drug store first. WALLACE: Nah, I'll just follow you. You don't want to go out alone. Wallace takes the files back to the cabinet as Veronica stands and closes up her bag. VERONICA VOICEOVER: No, I guess you don't. You never know what might happen. After the DA decided not to press charges against Logan, Neptune became a different place. FLASHBACK: EXT - SUNSET CLIFFS APARTMENTS - NIGHT. Logan's Xterra is parked. Music: The Change by Jon Dee Graham LYRICS: Do you see the change in me? I'm not the same as I used to be. Look in a mirror, but I don't see. Do you see the change in me? I don't sleep like I used to do. Lying there the whole night- Inside the car, Veronica and Logan are making out. She has her hands on either side of his neck and his hand trails up to her cheek. Veronica pauses. VERONICA: I should go, because my dad is probably watching us through a telescope. She looks over her shoulder and Logan's eyes follow her gaze. LOGAN: [whispers] He's probably impressed with your virtue. She giggles. He goes to kiss her again but she continues the theme, looking back again. VERONICA: And that telescope is mounted on a rifle. Logan stares out at where Keith is imagined to be and after a pause, holds up his hand, fingers spread wide. LOGAN: [whispers to the imaginary Keith] Five more minutes. Veronica giggles again. LOGAN: He should feel lucky. I mean, you could be out here with some pretty-boy jerk just looking to get laid. He swoops down again but she pulls back. VERONICA: Wait. What are you saying? You're not pretty? Logan stares down at her for a moment, suddenly serious. LOGAN: Ah, what I'm trying to say is I'm in love with you. Veronica looks up at him, eyes sparkling, a little disbelieving. She laughs and brings her hand up to the back of his neck. VERONICA: The things guys will say to get past second base. She pulls him into a kiss, shaking her head a little. They sink down into the seat, Logan's body over Veronica's and continue to make out. They are interrupted by the sound of a motorcycle coming to a stop outside and both look up although they don't rise. There is a bang and an explosion of glass, and they both cry out. Logan brings up his arm to protect himself and Veronica underneath him. They jerk up and stare at the departing bike. END FLASHBACK. End music: The Change by Jon Dee Graham. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Veronica knocks gently on the door of her small en suite bathroom. VERONICA: Are you done yet? Wallace is inside. WALLACE: [offscreen] It is never going to happen if you keep doing that. Veronica grins. VERONICA: I see. Stage fright? I'm making you nervous. Veronica consults the box as she moves away from the door. VERONICA: Well, according to the box, we only need a few drops and it'll test for cocaine, steroids, pot-- Keith enters the room. KEITH: What's up, honey? VERONICA: Wallace is having a little trouble giving me a urine sample. Keith sighs as he stares down at his daughter. KEITH: Can't you talk on the phone and paint your nails like other girls? VERONICA: I mean this is a health-class project. Come on, you're a man. Can you give him some pointers? Keith is resigned and walks over to the door. KEITH: Wallace? WALLACE: [offscreen] Yep. KEITH: Have you tried turning the water on? WALLACE: [offscreen] Mm-hmm. KEITH: Also, pinching your own nipples can sometimes work. Keith rubs his nipples through his shirt. WALLACE: [offscreen] Ahhh! Man! Keith laughs as Veronica pulls him away from the door and pushes him out of the room. VERONICA: Gross. KEITH: Honey, it works. VERONICA: I can barely even look at you now. KEITH: I can't believe how squeamish you are. VERONICA: Eyahh. Veronica gives the vomit-inducing groan as she slams the door on her father. A little later, she sits at her desk looking at the result as Wallaces watches. VERONICA: You're clean. WALLACE: [proudly indignant] Of course I am. VERONICA: If you didn't test positive, that means Butters didn't lace the spirit cookies and we're back to square one. How do you figure it? Veronica moves from the desk to stand with Wallace, looking at the whiteboard. WALLACE: You're the expert. I'm just standing here thinking it's gonna be a bad year for Neptune athletics. Every player on this list is a starter, a star player. VERONICA: Do you know who the people are who are gonna start with all of you out suspended? WALLACE: Yeah. My backup is Bob Patton. Veronica grabs the whiteboard's pen and starts to write under each student as Wallace identifies the substitutes. WALLACE: Jennings Crawford will go back to being first singles, taking Viet Nguyen's spot. Uh, Shanee Fauver will replace Jilly Ho. And Steve Wacker will take Kelvin's linebacker spot. VERONICA: "Wacker"? Really? And Shelly Pomroy was bumped up from JV cheerleading to take Meg's position. Veronica has a thought as she stands back. VERONICA: Dad? WALLACE: What are you thinking? VERONICA: It's probably nothing. Keith joins them in Veronica's bedroom. KEITH: You beckoned? VERONICA: If I know the name of a corporation, how do I find out the names of its shareholders? KEITH: You get the strangest homework in health class. VERONICA: Can you keep your trap shut if we tell you why we need it? Wallace starts looking nervous. VERONICA: No running off and telling your girlfriend. Keith struggles to keep a straight face. KEITH: Agreed. VERONICA: Wallace has been kicked out of athletics for his entire senior year for failing the mandatory drug test, but Wallace is clean. Veronica holds up the tab. VERONICA: See for yourself. She waves is under his nose. It's his turn to go squeamish. KEITH: Hey, man, I don't...I-I'll take your word for it. VERONICA: But we don't think Mrs. Fennel ever need know if we just get it cleared up quickly. As Veronica is talking, Wallace shakes his head in agreement and ends with a throat slice. WALLACE: You know what my mom is like. Keith laughs and heads for Veronica's computer on her desk. KEITH: What's the corporation name? VERONICA: Boatloads of Fun Corp. He starts to type. KEITH: You want the names of the partners? VERONICA: Yeah. KEITH: Billy and Mary Jo Patton, Larry and Nancy Crawford, Milt and Milly F-over, Fo, uh, Mike and Lill Wacker, Esther Pomroy, and there's one more, Walt and Bunny Day. As Keith reads out the names, Veronica underlines the matching names on her whiteboard. WALLACE: Wait, what do they have-- VERONICA: Jimmy Day's parents. Our starting quarterback. Well we know why he passed his drug test. We got them. INT - NHS, JOURNALISM CLASS - DAY. Veronica and Wallace sit at the central table. They talk softly as there is a teacher behind them and other students milling around. VERONICA: The way I figure it, the only way they could pull it off is if they bought off someone at the testing facility because the samples went in clean and the results weren't altered once they got here. WALLACE: So what's the plan? VERONICA: We're gonna scare 'em. WALLACE: And how's that gonna help me? VERONICA: Well, it'll be fun. Behind her, the teacher gets up from her desk. VERONICA: I'm gonna send an e-mail to each partner at the Boatloads of Fun Corp today, sort of an I-Know-What-You-Did-This-Summer kind of thing? Tell them that Jim Chimery wants to meet with them, talk about a new financial arrangement. WALLACE: Jim Chimery, the lab tech. You think he's the guy? VERONICA: I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's gonna scare them regardless. Wallace nods behind Veronica as the teacher approaches. MS DUMASS: Veronica, did you bring your permission slip? VERONICA: Yes I did. Veronica hands over a slip of paper. MS DUMASS: Thanks. The teacher wanders off. WALLACE: New journalism teacher. VERONICA: Yeah. She seems alright. She's taking anyone from newspaper, yearbook, and the broadcast news class who wants to tour Shark Field tomorrow. WALLACE: Wow. I can't believe you're going. VERONICA: I like baseball. WALLACE: Yeah, but you don't like people. VERONICA: I love people. I'm a people person. I'm just a normal teenage girl going on a normal school field trip. WALLACE: Right, I know. "Normal" is the watchword. He grabs his bag and grins at her as he goes. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. Veronica marches purposefully down the hall. She slows when she notices something ahead. BIKER: Check it out, check it out. It is Weevil and three of the bikers, standing and talking in the hall. They spot her and stop talking. Weevil turns his head and his eyes follow her as she passes. It would appear that they aren't friends anymore as Veronica passes by quickly and wordlessly. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I suppose it's true. In Neptune these days, you're forced to choose sides. FLASHBACK: EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - DAY. Veronica and Logan are walking. Veronica's hand is on Logan's arm as he holds his backpack in one hand and rummages through it with the other. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Logan had to take summer school after he missed all his finals due to his own arrest, as well as his father's. I'd come down to school just to have lunch with him. He slings the pack onto his shoulder and as Veronica takes his free hand in both of her own. LOGAN: My sister's negotiating with networks to sell her version of the Aaron Echolls story. I think the sticking point is she's insisting she play herself. Producers, on the other hand, are insisting on Tara Reid. VERONICA: Trina wasn't even around. LOGAN: Who do you suppose cares? I've always wanted a TV movie version of my life. Hey, think they can get Tom Welling to play me? Logan makes a soaring gesture. VERONICA: Dream on. Veronica mocks with a smile. In front of them, Dick and Beaver get out of an SUV, pulled up at the back of the Xterra. DICK: Logan! And Logan's special lady friend who I approve of whole-heartedly and without reservation. Beaver is opening the back of the Casablancas vehicle. VERONICA: Dick. Hey, Cassidy. CASSIDY: What's up, Veronica? LOGAN: Boys. Dick opens the back of the Xterra. DICK: Got the supplies. Enbom and Rams are gonna meet us at the Sac-N-Pac. Cassidy and Dick start to load gasoline into the back of the Xterra. LOGAN: Uh, can't we do this later? VERONICA: What's all the gasoline for? Logan clears his throat. LOGAN: We're gonna... go kill the grass on the Pan High football field, spell out "Pan Sucks." DICK: Which it does. Veronica looks at Dick, then beyond him at Beaver. Beaver looks away uncomfortably. END FLASHBACK. [SCENE_BREAK] INT - NHS, HALLWAY - CONTINUING. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The next day, the community pool at the city park somehow caught on fire. The city had to close it down for the rest of the summer. Of course, all the 09ers have pools in their backyards. Veronica leaves the school building, past the metal detectors. EXT - CASABLANCAS RESIDENCE - DAY. A body takes a long jump into a swimming pool, tucking his body for entry into the water. The splash disturbs the sun-bathing Logan and Dick. DICK: Don't make me go in there and get all "Ordinary People" on you, Beav. CASSIDY: The older brother drowns, dumbass. DICK: [to Logan] What's the dealio, bro? You ever showing up at school? Logan grabs the cushion he is leaning against and pulls it out from behind his back. LOGAN: Ah, what for? You know, no one seems to care. I'm practically an orphan. I can do whatever I want. Logan twirls the cushion and then holds it on the top of his head. From the house, Kendall Casablancas, a stunning and statuesque brunette, emerges in a black bikini, her robe open and flowing behind her. She holds a margarita. Logan and Dick are transfixed as she sashays towards them. KENDALL: Welcome home, children. How was school? Logan drops the cushion strategically to his lap. KENDALL: Who wants a Rice Krispie treat? Beaver, fresh out of the pool, joins them as he towels himself off. CASSIDY: Ah, gee, Mom, you're the best, but I'll pass. KENDALL: Mmmm. CASSIDY: You've met Momsie, right? DICK: The club, the clambake, remember? God, you're retarded. CASSIDY: Yeah, you know it's a miracle that I managed to score 400 points higher than you on my SATs, huh? KENDALL: Now, boys, you don't want me to tell your father you couldn't play nice. Logan holds up his hand. LOGAN: Uh, I want a Rice Krispie treat. KENDALL: Go make it yourself, then, kid. Do I look like a cook? Kendall puts down her drink next to Logan and removes her sunglasses. She walks away from them, dropping the robe so the boys get a good look at her ass. Logan watches. Kendall steps out of her wedges at the side of the pool and steps in. The boys watch appreciatively, Logan's cushion still balancing on his lap. Beaver looks down at them in disgust. CASSIDY: You guys are twisted. LOGAN: [to Dick] So, where did your dad meet her? DICK: She was a Laker Girl, and you know my dad, he has good seats. CASSIDY: A certain Laker All-Star's wife had her fired. Didn't like the look of her. DICK: [to Logan] So what are you doing tonight, bro? Logan's managed to lose the cushion. LOGAN: Well, as much as I enjoy the company of men, I've got other plans tonight. Logan makes a hand gesture known as the Shocker (look it up). Dick mimics it. DICK: That, I can respect. They bump their posed hands and then return to watching the swimming pool. INT - THE HUT - NIGHT. Veronica is working again. A couple approach the hostess table. MAN #1: Um, we're, ah, meeting someone here. The name's Chimery? Veronica grabs a couple of menus. VERONICA: Oh yeah. Right this way. She leads them to a table. Three other couples are already there, filling the table. They all look worried. The newly-arrived couple stop as the occupants turn doleful gazes on them. MAN #1: [uncomfortably] Hello. VERONICA: Are you guys expecting more people? Because we can move you to a bigger table. Veronica hands them the menus and walks away with a smile. She is using an earpiece and can hear their conversation. WOMAN #1: Walt, what have you gotten us into? MAN #2: We need to stay calm. WOMAN #2: How much is this Mr Chimery requesting? MAN #3: Is that the Mars girl I've heard so much about? Veronica reaches a table at the side. Clemmons is also listening to their conversation through an earpiece. VERONICA: Heard enough? CLEMMONS: I believe I have. Veronica smiles down at him. The manager approaches from behind her. CUTE AS A BUG MANAGER: [in girlie, dancing mode] Veronica, your boyfriend's here. Veronica walks back towards the door, smiling fondly and all but jumps into the arms of...Duncan. They kiss DUNCAN: Hi. VERONICA: Hi. They kiss more deeply. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - DAY. Veronica is waiting in front of a school bus, looking out for Duncan. He sees her and grins. VERONICA VOICEOVER: So yeah, my love life got a bit complicated this summer, but it sorted itself out nicely. She grins back. Duncan heads for her. LOGAN: [offscreen] Ah, young love. Veronica turns and looks behind her. Logan is leaning against the bus, watching. Duncan reaches Veronica and they grasp hands and walk towards Logan. DUNCAN: You're coming on the field trip? I figured you and the other Jets would be rumbling with the Sharks. LOGAN: Cool it, Action. I think I'm gonna pass on the field trip, but ah, call me when you get home, and tell me all about it. VERONICA: Let's just get on the bus. LOGAN: [to Veronica, softly] Hey, wait. I'm gonna miss you. Veronica and Duncan hurry past him as Logan drops his head, then looks up to follow their progress onto the bus. Veronica watches him as she makes her way through the bus, Duncan behind her. Logan walks along the bus but glances back and, knowing she is watching, he gives her a wave. From behind them, a girl looks to get past and Duncan has already moved in to make way. GIA: Excuse me. VERONICA: Sorry. Veronica and Duncan walk further up to find seats. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Did I mention that he didn't take the breakup that well? FLASHBACK: INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Veronica is facing Logan as they sit on the couch, holding both his hands. VERONICA: I kept thinking that if I just stuck by you, that you'd get past this-this phase and you'd be you again. Logan swallows hard. LOGAN: Are you breaking up with me? VERONICA: [emotional] I can't stay with you. Not with you and your toadies cruising around at night and hatching plans, refusing to let everything get back to normal. Someone's gonna get killed, Logan. LOGAN: Someone already has, did you forget that already? And most of the people in this town think I did it. Logan shifts up to sit on the arm of the couch, becoming increasingly emotional. LOGAN: Those people you call "toadies" are my friends; they've got my back. VERONICA: [urgently] It's not about protection, Logan. It's about pride. Logan puts his hand to his forehead, hardly believing what he is hearing. VERONICA: And, the thing that I can't stand is that...I'm pretty sure there's a part of you that's having fun with all of this. LOGAN: Fun? Fun? Now, he really can't believe it. He shoots up and starts to walk away, but stops and angrily spins round, hitting out at a lamp next to the couch, smashing it. Veronica jumps back in her seat, startled and frightened. LOGAN: [angry and shouting] My mom is dead! My girlfriend is dead! My dad is a murderer! And the only person I still care about is dumping me. You think I'm having fun? Keith storms in. Logan doesn't notice. LOGAN: Answer me, okay? Just tell me the-- Keith grabs Logan from behind in an arm lock and pushes him against the wall. He holds him there. Veronica, breathing heavily, watches unhappily. KEITH: You don't talk to my daughter that way. You're leaving now and you're never coming back. Veronica turns her eyes away, takes a deep breath and drops her head. END FLASHBACK. >INT - SCHOOL BUS - DAY. Duncan takes hold of Veronica's hand in her lap. He gives her a consoling and understanding look. Dick is sitting in the seat behind them and Beaver is in the seat behind Dick, his arms thrown over the seat towards the others. Sitting alone, behind Beaver, is Meg. DICK: Miss Dumbass. MS DUMASS: It's "Dumazz," Dick. DICK: Well, my name's pronounced "Re-shard" and it stinks back here. I think someone died. MS DUMASS: You're free to sit closer to the front. Dick looks at the people in the front and thinks better of it. DICK: That's okay. I don't think that's gonna help. Thanks anyway. Dick looks over at the other side of the bus. The girl who passed Veronica and Duncan earlier smiles at him. DICK: [to Duncan] Hey, who's the lovely young flower blossoming into womanhood? DUNCAN: Let me guess: you want to pluck her. Cassidy and Dick are grinning and Veronica shakes her head. EXT - CASABLANCAS RESIDENCE - DAY. Leaving the car parked outside the front of the house, Logan bounds to the door. He knocks. Kendall answers, dressed in a red silk robe. LOGAN: Hey, ah, can Dick and Beaver come out and play? She smiles broadly. KENDALL: Let's see if we can find them. She spins round, leaving Logan to follow. INT - CASABLANCAS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. He steps in and watches as she walks away. She pauses and throws off the robe. She is naked underneath. She looks back at him. KENDALL: Coming? LOGAN: We've got to stop meeting like this. Logan shuts the door, lifts his eyebrows and follows. GOODMAN: [offscreen] Why do I love baseball? The homerun, the long ball. INT - SHARKS FIELD - DAY. Goodman, in baseball uniform, is speaking to the field trip students in the owner's box, overlooking the diamond. GOODMAN: I'll admit it. I'm no purist. Give me an 11 to 9 slugfest and I'm in heaven. CASSIDY: Ah, so that's why Sharks pitching sucks. Most of the students laugh, although Meg, sitting in the front row, does not. GOODMAN: That's exactly the reason. CASSIDY: Okay. GOODMAN: See, I spent all my money on hitters. I want to see the ball going out of the yard. Now, I know some of you. I even coached a few of you back in Little League. I wanted to host this little afternoon outing for one specific reason. Veronica, sitting in the second row with Duncan, casts a glance at him. He waggles his eyebrows. GOODMAN: As many of you know, I'm running for Mayor of Neptune. And I thought it was important as a mayoral candidate, my daughter, Gia, attend the public high school in Neptune. The girl from the bus smiles and waves. GOODMAN: Her favorite class at Country Day was newspaper. So, I thought I'd invite the journalism classes out and give Gia a chance to make some new friends. Dick, sitting next to Gia, leers. DICK: Hello, friend. GIA: Hello. Gia rises and goes to stand next to her father. GIA: Okay, so far, working. GOODMAN: Yes. GIA: Okay, just so everyone knows, I don't always dress like this. Veronica cocks her head forward, in a "Say what?" way. GIA: I didn't know if you guys were doing, like, relaxed beachy, or the West Coast wannabe East Coast urban, so, FYI, it's not a statement. I'm just doing the new-school blend-in thing. Veronica and Duncan share a glance as Gia returns to her seat. GOODMAN: My daughter, she's a cool kid. Play nice. Later, Duncan is helping himself to food from a buffet. DUNCAN: It's like, you know, what Willie Wonka would be like if he owned a professional baseball team. Veronica glances over at a display of Goodman's Little League pictures and trophies. There is a signed bat at the centre of the display. VERONICA: You never played Little League? DUNCAN: Oh, well, Mom was afraid a ball would hit me in the face. Dad was afraid it would interfere with Mock UN and I was afraid I couldn't hit a curveball. VERONICA: I'm afraid you're gonna get love handles if you eat all that. DUNCAN: I have an excellent metabolism. VERONICA: Well then, it's official. I hate you. Duncan laughs. Veronica spots something. VERONICA: Oh, check it out. They look through the window to the balcony outside and see a man, apparently angry, approach Goodman. TERRENCE:...you did this to me. GOODMAN: What? Duncan recognizes the man. DUNCAN: Wow. In the flesh. Goodman is placatory. GOODMAN: It's alright. Come on, I'll introduce you. He pulls the man into the room. GOODMAN: Hey, gang, special guest. The greatest Shark that ever played the game, back when we had pitching to go with our hitting, future hall-of-famer, Terrence Cook. Everyone claps. GOODMAN: They love you, man. Dick comes over to Duncan and Veronica. DICK: Hey, we're not taking that stank-ass bus back to Neptune. My dad's sending a limo. Would you and your girlfriend, whose quick wit I find enchanting, like to take the trip back in style? Miss Dumbass said it was cool. DUNCAN: Hell, yeah. Veronica gives Duncan a baleful look. His eyes plead. VERONICA: [reluctantly] Fine. DICK: Cool. VERONICA: I feel dirty. DUNCAN: "Dirty," one R or two Rs? VERONICA: Mmm. Duncan kisses Veronica on the forehead then starts on his large plate of food. Veronica watches Dick approach Meg on the balcony. It is obvious that he is asking Meg to come in the limo but that Meg, on being informed that Veronica will be in the limo, declines. VERONICA: All right, Duncan, I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna go try and talk to Meg one more time. You ride in the limo because I think it's gonna be easier if we're not together. DUNCAN: You don't owe her anything. You didn't do anything to her. VERONICA: You are so not a girl. Duncan laughs. Veronica notices the man Terrence approach the buffet table. She turns to him. VERONICA: Excuse me, Mr Cook? TERRENCE: Yes ma'am. VERONICA: I just wanted to say...you are my dad's favorite baseball player ever. He keeps your rookie card vacuum-sealed inside a safe. TERRENCE: Well, that is an honor. You tell him thanks for me. He shakes her hand. VERONICA: When my dad finds out about this, he's not gonna let me wash this hand. TERRENCE: So, who's your favorite player? VERONICA: Ummm... DUNCAN: Tell him. Be honest. TERRENCE: It's Johnny Damon, isn't it? VERONICA: He's so pretty. Behind her, Duncan snorts out a laugh. EXT - SCHOOL BUS - DAY. The bus drives up the road. INT - SCHOOL BUS - CONTINUING. Veronica makes her way forward and spins into the seat in front of Meg, turned to face her. Meg looks at her warily. VERONICA: Hey. So, I hear you're back on the cheerleading squad. That's great news. MEG: [disingenuously] Oh, oh yeah, that's right, I-I forgot. I'm-I'm supposed to pay you or something, right? Meg searches through her wallet. VERONICA: Never mind. Veronica turns in her seat. Meg collects her things and moves to the back of the bus. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The way she's acting, you'd think I seduced Duncan on their wedding day. That's not how it happened. Music: Long Time Coming by Delays. LYRICS: Tore it up and walked away Why'd you wanna go do that for? Threw your Lego in the lake Why'd you wanna go do that for? And you're a long time coming A long time coming home Do you see me reeling off the lines I've seen your, I've seen your eyes. And you're a long time coming A long time coming home Do you see me reeling off the lines I've seen your, I've seen your eyes. How can you grow old You were my triumph? How can you grow old You were my triumph? And you're a long time coming A long time coming home. FLASHBACK: INT - THE HUT - VARIOUS. A montage of scenes starts. Veronica hands Duncan a take-out coffee; Veronica shows some people to a table and smiles over at Duncan who is reading while sitting on a small couch. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Duncan said he'd been visiting the Hut every day before I ever took a job there. True or not, he showed up almost every day I worked there this summer. They exchange smiles when Duncan clears a table for her when she's busy; they sit at a table together sharing cake. END FLASHBACK. INT - SCHOOL BUS - CONTINUING. Veronica looks back at Meg, now several rows back on the bus. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I heard through the grapevine that Duncan broke up with Meg on the last day of school. Whether that had anything to do with learning we weren't half-siblings, I don't know. You'd have to ask him. I was with Logan and I was absolutely faithful. Duncan and I didn't get together until my eighteenth birthday, weeks after Dad threw Logan out of the apartment. FLASHBACK: INT - THE HUT. Duncan sits at a small table with a book. He leaves the table and Veronica clears it. She finds a small gift Duncan has left, a gold box tied with a red ribbon. Veronica opens it to find a fortune cookie. She breaks the cookie, reads the message and races after Duncan, catching him at the exit. She says a few words, he smiles and they kiss, long and hard. END FLASHBACK. INT - SCHOOL BUS - CONTINUING. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I'm sorry Meg is hurting, truly sorry, but I can't say I have any regrets. End music: Long Time Coming by Delays. EXT - GAS STATION - DAY. The bus pulls into the station. INT - SCHOOL BUS - CONTINUING. Ms Dumass stands at the front of the bus. MS DUMASS: Five minutes, people. EXT - GAS STATION - DAY. Veronica comes out of the gas station with a bottle of water. She heads for the bus. LILLY: [offscreen] Veronica. Veronica whips round and sees Lilly, in her pep squad uniform, running down past the corner of the station. LILLY: Come on, dorkus. VERONICA: Lilly? Veronica runs around the corner. She sees Weevil, fixing his bike. WEEVIL: What are you doing here, huh? Shouldn't you be running for Homecoming Queen or something? VERONICA: I'm safe standing here, right? I mean, you're not gonna shoot me, are you? INT - SCHOOL BUS - CONTINUING. The journalism teacher boards the bus. MS DUMASS: All here? MALE STUDENT: Yeah. FEMALE STUDENT: Yeah. Meg, sitting at the back of the bus, can see that Veronica is still outside, talking to Weevil. She takes a moment, then gives a tight smile. MEG: All here. EXT - GAS STATION - CONTINUING. Veronica's back is to the bus as she talks to Weevil. WEEVIL: So, did you like your taste? Your little year of living dangerously? Did you get your fill? As soon as they'll have you back, you go running to the 09ers. And as a little bonus, you give it up to the richest boys in school. Wow. Well, I'm sure their sheets are clean. VERONICA: You don't know anything about me. And you don't know anything about them. WEEVIL: [angry] Yeah, I do. I know that Logan killed Felix. And he got away with it because he's rich and he's white. VERONICA: Six guys jumped Logan. They broke his ribs. They gave him a concussion. Yet somehow he managed to wrestle away one of their knives and stab Felix? You didn't see it. You were out cold. WEEVIL: So I guess, Felix stabbed himself. VERONICA: Well, somebody stabbed him. WEEVIL: My boys? Nothing goes down in the club without my say-so. VERONICA: So I guess you know about the shotgun blast that almost killed Logan and me? Bikers ride up, blow a hole through Logan's car. Weevil doesn't have an answer. Behind Veronica, the bus sets off. VERONICA: You sure you're still in charge? Veronica hears the bus and turns to watch it go. She runs forward but is too late. She looks back at Weevil who, smirking, gets on his bike and rides off. Left stranded, Veronica pulls out her cell phone. VERONICA: Hey, Wallace, whatcha doing? The bike can still be heard in the vicinity and stops ahead of her. VERONICA: Never mind. WEEVIL: [offscreen] Hop on. Veronica catches the helmet that is thrown at her. Music: Ashes by Embrace. LYRICS: I've waited, and given the chance again, I'd do it all the same, but either way I'm always outplayed, up on your down days I left it the right way, to start again Now watch me rise up and leave all the ashes you made out of me When you said that we were wrong, that life goes on, you blew me away I sink like a stone, I lost my control. EXT - ROAD - DAY. Veronica is on the back of Weevil's bike. From the distance, they can see smoke on the road ahead. As they get nearer, they see road work signs and a limo, pulled up at the side of the road, with people streaming out of it. Weevil pulls up in front of the limo, whose driver is on a cell phone. Veronica scrambles off the back of the bike and runs along buffers at the side of the road, on the edge of a cliff. She passes behind Dick and Beaver, who are looking over the edge and reaches a breach in the buffers. GIA: [crying] It just went straight off the cliff. It didn't even slow down. They're all dead. Veronica looks at the scene in shock. Duncan runs to her. DUNCAN: Veronica! GIA: They're all dead. Duncan checks that she's real and holds her. VERONICA VOICEOVER: This is Neptune. Nothing happens accidentally. Below, debris swirls in the water. End. Executive producer: Rob Thomas (who is a god). End music: Ashes by Embrace.	Plan: A: the summer; Q: When did Veronica break up with Logan? A: Duncan; Q: Who did Veronica start dating after she broke up with Logan? A: Veronica; Q: Who uncovers who faked the drug test results? A: a normal life; Q: What does Veronica try to rebuild after breaking up with Logan? A: their drug tests; Q: What do Wallace and Meg fail? A: Felix Toombs; Q: Who was the PCH biker gang member that Logan was accused of murdering? A: the professional baseball team Neptune Sharks; Q: What team does Veronica visit on a school tour? A: Woody Goodman; Q: Who is the owner of the Neptune Sharks? A: a larger mystery; Q: What is Veronica thrust into when the school bus that she had just missed plunges off a cliff into the Pacific Ocean? Summary: After breaking up with Logan during the summer and resuming dating Duncan, Veronica tries to rebuild a normal life. When several athletes-including Wallace and Meg-fail their drug tests, Veronica uncovers who faked the results. Logan is accused of murdering PCH biker gang member Felix Toombs, however the charges are dropped because of a lack of evidence. While on a school tour of the home ground of the professional baseball team Neptune Sharks, Veronica meets Woody Goodman, the team's owner. Veronica is thrust into a larger mystery when the school bus that she had just missed mysteriously plunges off a cliff into the Pacific Ocean.
In the auditorium during rehearsals Marco: Okay so then the red lights, they come up hitting Darcy stage left. Spinner: Got it. Red lights, Paige left. Red light, Darcy left... I'm sorry. My, my mind is just preoccupied this morning. Marco: What? Hot date with Darcy last night? After that bizarre, yet strangely moving re-virginizing ceremony. Spinner: Depends. Would you define hot date as brutal fight and break up? Marco: No I wouldn't. You okay? Spinner: Last night after the break up I kissed somebody. Somebody who wasn't Darcy. Paige: Hey guys. Spinner: Hey stage. Paige. Paige: Um hun you think you'd know my name by now. I mean really. Spinner: Of course I know your name Paige. I know tons about you! I know your birthday, I know your favourite food. I know... (He falls backwards off the stage.) Paige: Take it from someone who knows Spin, toking before school ends in tragedy. Marco: (Whispering) Hey! It wasn't you and Paige was it?! (Spinner gives him a thumbs up sign when Darcy walks over.) Spinner: Darcy. Darcy: Take me back. I'm sorry for being such a jealous freak, but I'm over it. (She kisses him.) Darcy: Just consider it. Consider me. In the hallway, Paige and Hazel are giving out yearbooks Hazel: So if you and Alex want to, a bunch of girls are going for fondue. Paige: Nice of you to ask, but uh Alex isn't so fondue of me. We broke up. Hazel: Paige. Paige: It's okay. I mean I care about her tons, but we were so not right. Besides last night I um, I might have made out with Spinner...a little bit. Hazel: Spinner? But I just got used to you being a lesbian. Paige: This isn't about you. It's about me and right now I'm about being free to date who I want to date. Girl or boy. (Toby is waiting for a yearbook and overhears their conversation.) Paige: Yearbook Toby? And BTW what you hear at yearbook table, stays at yearbook table. Toby: Just so you know I totally support your freedom to date whomever...and BTW, I'm totally available. (He mouths call me.) Outside Ms. Hatzilakos' office (Someone's legs are shown walking towards Jimmy.) Jimmy: You've got to be kidding me. The ghost of Ashley Kerwin. How you doing? (They hug.) Ashley: I'm no ghost. I'm the real thing. You look great. Jimmy: So you're here! Uh did you finally get tired of London or...? Ashley: I could never get tired of London. You know, but I got tired of missing home. I've had some schools there, but couldn't find anything quite like this. Jimmy: Yeah. I guess it's kind of hard to find a school with such a unique combo of shootings and gonorrhoea outbreaks. Ashley: Okay yeah some bad stuff's happened here, but there's some good people here too. Like Jimmy Brooks. Jimmy: Oh well thank you very much, but don't get too used to him because I'm gonna be out again next year, hopefully. Ashley: Oh that's too bad. I was kind of hoping we could be classmates again. Talking to Ms. Hatzilakos about maybe coming back next year. Mr. Simpson: Ms. Kerwin's back in town! Hey! Hey Jimmy she's all yours. Jimmy: Okay. Um we gotta catch up later, okay? In Ms. Hatzilakos' office Ms. Hatzilakos: So I have to congratulate you Jimmy. You put a lot of work in this year. Jimmy: Well thank you Ms. H. My coach says you know it's important to be motivated and I was definitely motivated. It's really, it's really important for me to graduate this year and uh I know I missed a lot of school for physio, but I figured there was some way you could swing this. Ms. Hatzilakos: I'm sorry Jimmy. You simply don't have the credits. I can't work miracles. In the hallway (Jimmy drops his books and Spinner helps him pick them up.) Spinner: Hey. Looks like you could use a hand. Jimmy: I'm fine thanks. I said I'm fine, thank you! Spinner: Just wanted to help man. Jimmy: You want to help me? Why don't you transfer to another school? So I don't have to see your stupid face next year. That would help a little bit. Spinner: What is your damage man? Jimmy: My damage man is you Gavin. (Jimmy pushes Spinner and they start fighting.) Marco: Hey woah! Relax. Chill. Can't we just get through the rest of the year without any more drama? Spinner: Ask him that! In the foyer (Toby walks by Ashley nudging her and she playfully pushes him back.) Ellie: Ash! Some best friend. You couldn't have e-mailed? Ashley: What and ruin the surprise? You look amazing El! Ellie: Likewise. Who else got to see you so far? Ashley: Most of the old gang. Uh Jimmy, Paige, Hazel, no sign of Craig though. Ellie: He's in Vancouver recording the big solo record extravaganza. Ashley: Really? Wow. I guess I knew he was always destined for greatness. Ellie: Don't be so sure. He's dating Manny. Ashley: Ew. That makes me vaguely itchy. Ellie: Me too. Of course it could just be label chafe. New shirt and all. So how's Alistair, aka Ali, aka your London lad? Ashley: It was good and then it was bad and then it was over. How about you? Ellie: Oh I'm crushing on someone as usual, but um it'll never happen...as usual. At the Dot Marco: Spin these things, they will work themselves out. Darcy: Hey Spin. Cup of coffee to go? (Spinner starts pouring her a drink.) Darcy: I heard about the big freakshow with Jimmy and I'm sorry 'cause I know how much he means to you. Spinner: Whatever. I'm done with that guy. Darcy: Spinner that's the biggest lie. I know you would give everything you have just to be friends with him again. So don't give up. He'll come around. I know it. Spinner: Listen Darce, if you're still cool with it today we're back together. (They kiss.) Darcy: Oh I brought you something, just in case. (She hands him his ring and he puts it on.) Spinner: I'll never take it off. Darcy: Sugar I have to go pack for bible camp, but maybe after we can celebrate? Spinner: You got it. Marco: Okay now you have to tell- Spinner: Yeah I know. I got to call Paige. Go over there after work and break the bad news. At a restaurant Ashley: Who knew you had so much beauty stored up inside? Ellie: Have you seen the ultra-disturbing, violent horror stuff? Jimmy: Ellie Nash, my biggest fan. Ellie: I so am and you know it. Oh I'm late for a movie. See ya. (She hugs Ashley before leaving.) Jimmy: Bye. Ashley: You two look cozy. Jimmy: We're just friends Ash. Ashley: Yeah, but you want it to be more. Jimmy: Okay. So maybe I do, but whatever. It's pointless. She's not into me. Ashley: Well what makes you so sure? Jimmy: What's ten pounds, metal and vinyl, has two wheels? Ashley: Yeah, but until you mentioned it just now I completely forgot you were even in a chair. Jimmy: That's because you're sitting. It'll become more apparent when you stand. Ashley: Alright, but don't get too down on yourself 'cause you're not the only one with a crush. I think she's crushing on you too Romeo. She pretty much told me so. At Paige's house (Spinner knocks on her bedroom door before opening it.) Spinner: You decent? Dylan let me in. Paige: Oh my god Spin. You have to look at this old yearbook right this minute. Spinner: Okay I, I thought we could talk though. Paige: Sure hun. Please just indulge me first and feast your eyes on this. (She shows him a picture of them with the title 'couple of the year'.) Spinner: Check it out! We were couple of the year. Paige: Uh how could we not be? We were unbelievably super adorable. (They look at some more pictures.) Spinner: There we are. The old gang. Paige: We ran that school, remember? Spinner: You ever just wish you had a time machine? I just want to go back, you know? Before it all went, all went to crap. Paige: Spin. Just so you know, I never blamed you for what happened with Jimmy. Spinner: Do you mean that? (She nods and leans in.) Spinner: Paige... (They start making out and Paige takes his shirt off.) Outside the school (JT and Toby are changing the sign to say 'graduation weekend 50 years of Degrassi'. Toby puts up 'ass' before the rest of the letters in Degrassi and they laugh.) JT: That's really mature. Toby: Yeah well it's still funny. [SCENE_BREAK] In Mr. Simpson's class, Paige hands him a gift Paige: In honour of our last class sir we give you this. A little merci gift. (Everyone starts clapping.) Mr. Simpson: What?! Come on guys. Someone's in a good mood. I just hope we can all get a little bit of whatever's gotten into you Paige. Paige: I'm not sure that's advisable sir. Mr. Simpson: Oh guys this is so perfect. You have no idea how much I love karaoke. I'll dig out my Elvis wig, fire up the mic and see if I can't get myself into some sort of county fair Elvis impersonator contest. I'll be tall, lanky Elvis. (While Mr. Simpson is talking, Spinner is outside the class texting Marco.) Spinner: (His message) Something happened with Paige! Marco: (His message) What exactly? Spinner: (His message) EVERYTHING! We went ALL THE WAY! In the auditorium Darcy: Spin here you are. I've been calling you for ages. Spinner: Oh my phone. The ringer's off. Darcy: Well where were you last night? We said we were gonna celebrate... Spinner: I know. I know. I was, I was arranging a going away gift for you. Darcy: That's so sweet, but you know I would have easily traded a gift to get to see you last night. (Spinner hugs her while looking at Paige.) Spinner: Break a leg out there okay? In the auditorium, during the show JT: Welcome everybody to Herbal Essences presents: 50 years of Degrassi! I am your host Sir Phillip Degrassi. Manny: And I am his lovely daughter Charlotte. JT: And today we're taking you on a magical, history tour. Manny: Starting with 1968, please welcome to the stage Darcy Edwards and her love parade! (Darcy starts her performance while Peter is filming, Emma is watching, and Paige and Spinner are looking at each other.) Outside the auditorium Spinner: Paige. Paige: Hold on. (Paige walks over to him.) Spinner: I've been looking everywhere for you. Paige: Me too. Uh I just wanted to say merci. Spinner: For what? Paige: Last night dorkus! It felt like the right way to end school. Just don't forget about me, okay? Spinner: I wasn't planning on it. I was kind of hoping that um... Paige: Woah. Hun. You're not serious? We're both moving on, but I will always have the bestest memories of my first real boyfriend, you. (She kisses him on the cheek before walking away.) Spinner: You...you used me for my body. Inside the auditorium Emma: Manny that was awesome. Do not forget us when you're on Broadway. (Emma and Manny hug and Peter hands Manny a tape.) Peter: Show your agent. Maybe it'll help get you there. Manny: You taped it? Peter: Yeah. I used my powers for good this time. Manny: Thanks. (Emma and Manny hug again.) In another area of the auditorium Jimmy: Ellie hi. Ellie: What's up? Jimmy: You look great. I mean you always look great, but tonight you look great! Ellie: Oh hey I was just wondering, how do I look? Could it maybe be great? (Jimmy laughs nervously then stops.) Jimmy: Um look you've become one of my best friends, right and you've opened my eyes to a lot of things. I wanted to know if maybe we could talk about taking it to the next level... (Ellie doesn't say anything.) Jimmy: But you don't. Ellie: Jimmy I'm sorry...I- Jimmy: Don't be. It's not completely unexpected. I'm gonna go, okay? Ashley: El what happened? I thought you said you were crushing on someone. Ellie: He's not the guy Ash. During the party after the show (Paige and Marco are dancing and Liberty and JT are dancing.) Darcy: Come on. Dance with me! You've been a total weirdo all night. Spinner: Darcy I'm an idiot. Darcy: What are you talking about Spin? Spinner: It's your gift. Okay, it didn't come. I've been texting back and forth with the guy. He just bailed, the jerk. Darcy: Seeing as I have to wait the whole summer, maybe you could give me the teeniest of hints? Spinner: Good things come to those who wait. I'm gonna go get us some drinks. (Darcy sits down on Spinner's phone and opens it up.) In the hallway, Ashley is running after Jimmy Ashley: Jimmy! Jimmy wait. I'm sorry. Please this is all my fault. Jimmy: Look Ashley it's fine. Really. Okay? Ashley: No Jimmy. Jimmy it's not. Look you're an amazing guy. You deserve to be with someone who adores you. Jimmy: Look I'm gonna let you in on a secret. Girls don't date guys in wheelchairs. (He starts to leave, but she stops him and kisses him.) Ashley: You were saying? In the auditorium (Spinner walks over to Darcy who is holding his cell phone.) Darcy: I wanted to know what my gift was. Spinner: Darcy you didn't read my texts... Darcy: Some gift Spinner. Special. (She gives him his cell phone and her ring and starts crying.) Darcy: You suck. At the graduation commencement Marco: And now as we head off in every direction let us remember the ties we have to each other and to Degrassi because the best thing about the past, is that it's just, it's a huge part of the future. So to the future, to us. We did it guys. (Everyone starts cheering.) Ms. Hatzilakos: Thank you Marco for a wonderful speech and now without further ado I'd like to welcome to the stage Degrassi's graduating class of 2006. (She starts calling up the students alphabetically.) Jimmy: So there they go. Our class onto a brighter future. Spinner: You should have been up there man. Jimmy: It'll be our turn next year, right? Spinner: Sorry, are we actually having a conversation? Jimmy: Look um, I spent a lot of time this year blaming people. You especially and uh that was wrong and I'm sorry. Spinner: Jimmy, I... Jimmy: It's cool. I know. Spinner: I gotta go. Peace. (Spinner leaves and then comes back to give Jimmy a big hug.) Outside (Spinner is driving to where the bus is leaving for bible camp.) Spinner: Darcy! Listen just one minute please. Listen what I did...what I did was horrible, but I swear I will make it up to you. Darcy: Spinner you broke your vow. Spinner: I know. So that's why all I can do is ask, beg for your forgiveness. Darcy: I'm not sure that I can. Not this time. Kim: We have to go Darcy. Spinner: Darce please. Darcy: I'm really not sure. (She leaves to get on the bus.) Spinner: If she turns around to look before she gets on, I'll be okay. (She turns around and Spinner lets out a deep breath before smiling.) Back at graduation (Everyone is hugging each other and Craig walks over to Manny.) Craig: You miss me? Hey. (They hug.) Manny: You know it. I can't believe you came! Craig: Like I'd miss this for the world. (Ashley and Ellie hug before looking at Craig who waves and Ellie looks down.) (The graduating class throws their hats in the air.)	Plan: A: graduate; Q: What is the Class of 2006 doing? A: Paige; Q: Who did Spinner have a night with? A: Spinner; Q: Who is torn after Darcy tells him that she wants to get back together? A: Jimmy; Q: Who has to repeat his senior year after being shot? A: too much school; Q: What did Jimmy miss while recovering from being shot? A: Ellie; Q: Who does Jimmy wonder if his feelings for are requited? Summary: It's a time to move on as the Class of 2006 graduate. After his night with Paige, Spinner is torn after Darcy tells him that she wants to get back together. Jimmy has to repeat his senior year after missing too much school while recovering from being shot and wonders if his feelings for Ellie are requited.
DUE TO MATURE THEME, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. FLASH IN. [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE (STOCK) - NIGHT] (Camera starts on the gate fronting the driveway. It slowly rises up over the gate to the large mansion beyond.) FLASHES OF: [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT] [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - BALCONY DOORS - NIGHT] (Camera slowly moves in toward the closed balcony doors. The curtains are drawn, the light inside is on.) (We quicken the pace and zoom in to the balcony doors ... ) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - FOYER / MAIN HALL - NIGHT] ( ... and into the quiet foyer. We linger for a moment.) FLASH TO: (From the foyer, the camera slowly follows the stairs up to the second floor. The camera rises up to the second floor.) FLASH TO: [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY - NIGHT] (Slow motion. We see the lower half of a man running barefoot through the hallway.) (The man is crying, a look of sadness on his face.) WHITE FLASH TO: [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - FRONT STEPS - NIGHT] (CU: Bruce Eiger's dead body is on the front steps, his head is bloodied. Off his body we see the reflection of red flashing lights of emergency vehicles.) Laurel Tessler (newswoman): (V.O.) This is the scene in seven hills, where casino mogul Bruce Eiger has been found dead on the grounds of his palatial estate. (A camera snaps. Catherine snaps photos as Warrick shines his flashlight on the body.) Laurel Tessler (newswoman): (V.O.) Eiger turned sixty earlier this year, ... (Beyond Catherine, a small crowd has gathered on the driveway.) Laurel Tessler (newswoman): (V.O.) ... throwing himself a half-a-million-dollar birthday party at his newly renovated Queen Regent Casino. (Laurel Tessler reports from the crime scene. Other reporters take notes. In the background, we hear a siren blurb on and off as the crowd parts for another dark-colored vehicle driving through.) Laurel Tessler (newswoman): (V.O.) Cause of death remains unknown, but as Eiger himself famously joked: In Vegas, if nobody wants you dead, you're not working hard enough. Reporting live from Seven Hills, I'm Laurel Tessler. Man: Thanks Ginny. In this exclusive community ... (Conrad Ecklie exits the vehicle.) Conrad Ecklie: What's the 4-1-1? (He and Grissom walk up to Brass. They all head toward the body as he fills them in.) Brass: Wife comes home from canasta at the club, finds hubby dead in the driveway, calls 9-1-1. No sign of forced entry. The alarm was off. Nothing seems to be missing. (Grissom ducks under the crime scene tape. Ecklie remains behind.) Brass: Welcome to the party. (Catherine looks up and sees Grissom approaching.) Catherine: What's going on? This is my scene. (Grissom puts his kit down and opens it. Ecklie answers her. She turns toward Ecklie.) Conrad Ecklie: High profile case -- woke up the supervisors. All hands on deck, Cath. Grissom's lead on this. He's the senior supervisor. Catherine: If it's all hands on deck, what are you doing behind the tape? Conrad Ecklie: You know if I cross the tape, my name goes on the crime scene log that gets subpoenaed by the defense, and I have to testify. Catherine: And when was the last time you testified? Conrad Ecklie: That's not my primary job anymore. I'm an administrator. I run interference for you guys ... starting with the press. (Ecklie turns around to deal with the press. Catherine walks back to the body. She passes Grissom as he closes his kit and stands up.) Grissom: It's nothing personal, Catherine. (Catherine turns around to look at Grissom.) Cases like these rain down hard. You need all the help you can get. Catherine: I need help, not supervision. (Grissom doesn't say anything. He nods at the body.) SHORT TIME CUT TO: (Grissom and Catherine stand near the body. Warrick kneels down next to the body.) Grissom: So, Warrick? Warrick: Initial observations when we got to the scene. (Grissom turns around and looks up at the balcony.) Obvious impact to the face. Severe facial contusions. Broken nose, cracked teeth. No shoe prints. No tracks. No cast off. No sign of a weapon. Grissom: We're standing on the weapon. (Warrick looks up.) (They all see: Virtual Bruce Eiger falling off the balcony and onto the driveway pavement.) (Grissom looks down at the body and nods.) FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE - NIGHT] (Conrad Ecklie faces the group of reporters.) Reporter: Mr. Eiger had a lot of enemies. Any idea who might have done this? Conrad Ecklie: I'm not ready to confirm the circumstances under which Mr. Eiger died. I will say that this is the number one priority for the mayor and for all of us in law enforcement. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - FRONT STEPS - NIGHT] (Catherine, Grissom and Warrick look at the body. Nick stands in the background.) Catherine: So, he either jumped, fell or was pushed. Warrick: Well, the facial impact is consistent with the blood pool ... but not with the current position. Grissom: Well, he landed on his face, but it looks like his head got moved. Nick: And not by the paramedics. (Grissom turns around to look at Nick.) And according to them, he had a broken neck. Grissom: Well, then he didn't roll himself over. (Catherine looks at the body on the ground, then looks at the front door where Donna Eiger is talking with an officer.) Catherine: Let's talk to the wife.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - MAIN HALL / FOYER - NIGHT] (Brass talks with Donna Eiger.) Brass: House this big -- where's all the help? Donna Eiger: Oh, the staff always gets Thursday nights off. I-I-I don't get what the mystery is here. He was murdered. Some guys collect art. Bruce collected enemies. Brass: I'm more interested in what happened after he died. Donna Eiger: And what is that supposed to mean? Brass: Mrs. Eiger, uh, I don't know how to put this ... Donna Eiger: All right, please, you're making me feel old. Call me Donna. Brass: Okay, Donna, sure. Your husband's boxer shorts. Donna Eiger: He wasn't wearing them when he died, was he? Donna Eiger: Oh, that's what this is all about. No, no, I-I pulled in. I saw Bruce lying there naked. I knew that the news was on its way over here. I didn't want the whole world to see him like that. Brass: So you moved the body? Donna Eiger: Yes, yes. I turned him over. I put his shorts on. What, is-is dignity a crime? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - GARAGE - NIGHT] (Grissom opens the garage door. He flicks the light switch on. Inside the garage are five cars.) (He walks down the short stairs and over to the first car. He puts his hand on the hood, feeling it.) (He looks at the Nevada plates of the second car: 4MYDONNA. He puts his hand flat on the hood.) (Grissom goes to the car and tries the driver's side door. It's locked.) (He looks around.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - GARAGE - NIGHT] (The garage door opens. Sara and Greg walk up to Grissom.) Grissom: Question. You come home, see your husband lying in the driveway. What do you do? Greg: (shrugs) Is that a trick question? Sara: Stop, jump out, run over to him. Grissom: Or take the time to pull into the garage and park and lock your car? (Sara turns and looks at Greg. He shrugs at her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - FRONT STEPS - NIGHT] (Catherine stands on the front steps and looks around. Conrad Ecklie walks up to her and stops at the crime scene tape.) Conrad Ecklie: Catherine ... (Catherine looks at Ecklie, then continues to look on the ground for evidence.) Conrad Ecklie: Look, it's not that we don't have confidence in you ... (Catherine takes a deep breath.) Catherine: I smell crap. Conrad Ecklie: What? (Catherine sees something.) Catherine: Don't take another step. (She shines the light down on the concrete right in front of Ecklie's shoes.) Conrad Ecklie: Joe? Officer Joe: Yeah? Catherine: The Eigers have any pets? Officer Joe: No kids, no pets. Catherine: Okay. (Catherine kneels down and snaps a photo of the crap and slips it into an envelope.) Catherine: I saved you from putting your foot in it. Conrad Ecklie: (nods) I appreciate that. (Ecklie turns and leaves.) Nick: (o.s.) Hey, Catherine. (Catherine turns and looks up. Nick is standing on the balcony.) Catherine: Yeah? Nick: I think I found the launch point. Catherine: I'll be right there. (Catherine goes back to her kit. She puts her camera down on the bag and heads upstairs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - DRIVEWAY -- NIGHT] (Sara finds an oil spot on the driveway. Grissom stands nearby writing on a clipboard.) (Sara kneels down in front of the oil spot.) Sara: People who live in houses like these don't get oil leaks. (Greg kneels down near Sara.) Greg: But their visitors might. (She touches it and looks at the stain on her fingers.) Sara: Hasn't absorbed into the stone yet. It's fresh. Grissom: Well, swab it and then check all their cars just in case. [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE (STOCK) -- NIGHT] [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - SECOND STORY BALCONY -- NIGHT] (Catherine walks up to Nick who is examining the second story balcony.) Nick: Hey. Whatever happened, it happened right here. (Warrick walks up to him to look at the planter.) Planter could've been broken during the struggle or been used as leverage. Catherine: Well, if he was pushed, they'd have to be strong enough to get that big boy over the railing. Warrick: Well, I didn't see any trace on Bruce's hands. I don't think those are his prints. (Warrick looks at the handprints on the concrete railing.) Nick: Well, maybe the killer hung out ... (Quick flash of: [BALCONY - NIGHT] The killer stands near the balcony looking over the edge, his hands flat on the concrete railing.) Nick: (V.O.) ... enjoying the fruits of his labor. (End of flash. Resume to present.) [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - SECOND STORY HALLWAY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Catherine, Nick and Warrick walk back into the house through the hallway.) Warrick: Well, I don't see any signs of struggle in this hallway. Nick: No. Catherine: The only clue is no clue. (They walk into the room at the end of the hallway.) [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - STUDY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (They look around the study.) Catherine: The inner sanctum. Nick: If these walls could talk, huh? (Catherine sees a glass on the desk.) Warrick: I wish they would. Nick: Yeah, no doubt. (She walks over to the glass and sniffs it.) Catherine: Scotch ... and milk. (They look around the study.) Nick: Maybe the guy had stomach trouble, you know, ulcers. Warrick: Well, you get as good as you give. (Warrick picks up the cigar in the ashtray and smells it.) Warrick: Who smokes half a cuban? (Nick finds a couple of handprints on the wooden floor.) Nick: Well, whoever was outside might've been in here, too. I've got some greasy handprints, look very similar to the ones on the railing. Catherine: What are they doing on the floor? (Quick flashes of: [STUDY - NIGHT] The cigar is burning in the ashtray. Bruce Eiger takes a sip of his drink. He exhales a long stream of smoke into the air.) (Suddenly, someone bursts into the study, startling him. There's a struggle. The killer falls to the ground, his palms flat on the floor.) (End of flashes. Resume to present.) Nick: I'll take a sample. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT] (Robbins goes over the preliminary with Grissom and Sofia Curtis.) Robbins: From everything I've heard, this guy was a considerable ass. Speaking of which, from the damage to his sphincter, I'd say he suffered repetitive insertions. Grissom: Rectal insertions? Robbins: Sizable. Matching perimortem bruises to the hips. The deceased had a peculiar rash around his genitals slathered in ointment. Doesn't read as an STD I'm familiar with. I swabbed the ointment. I also found a gallon of milky fluid in his stomach. Trace has that, too, along with fecal matter I scraped off his feet. (Robbins grabs the victim's hands.) Robbins: For what it's worth, nicely manicured nails on all but one thumb, which has a groove worn in it. Grissom: Drugs? Robbins: Yeah, it could be. His pupils were dilated to the size of pie plates. Tox has the blood. Grissom: There's a lot behind the curtain of this guy's life. Sofia Curtis: Cause of death? Robbins: Asphyxia. Choked on his own blood. Sofia Curtis: So he survived the fall. Robbins: Well, it broke his neck, but he continued to breathe a while. Grissom: Might've lived if he hadn't been rolled. (Grissom glances at Sofia.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY OUTSIDE FORENSIC AUTOPSY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Grissom steps out into the hallway. He's looking at his glasses. Sofia steps out into the hallway after Grissom.) Grissom: I'm glad you decided to stay, Sofia. Sofia Curtis: So am I ... for now. (Catherine walks into the hallway.) Catherine: Thanks for waiting. Got here as fast as I could. Grissom: We just finished. Catherine: Grissom, what the hell? Am I going to have any part of this case, or should I just go back to my office and start shuffling some papers? Sofia Curtis: Catherine, it wasn't personal. The body was posted. We didn't think you'd be back for a few hours. There's the report. (Sofia hands the report to Catherine.) Catherine: (to Sofia) Stay out of this. (Sofia leaves.) (to Grissom) So, is this an Ecklie mandate, or is this just your thoughtlessness? Grissom: Well, look, I apologize, but this is a group effort. Catherine: (scoffs) Thanks. I feel much better. (Catherine turns and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CATHERINE'S OFFICE - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Catherine walks into her office and shuts the door behind her. She tosses the report on her desk along with her watch. She sits down in her chair.) (She looks at her camera, takes out the connecting cord and hooks up her camera to the computer. The message reads: CARD CONTAINS NO IMAGES (Catherine checks the memory card in the camera. It's an SG1 32 MB card. This isn't good.) (The office door opens.) Warrick: Okay, just got back from the crime scene. Dropped the samples off at Trace. (Catherine looks at Warrick.) Warrick: What's wrong? Catherine: You didn't touch my camera, did you? Warrick: No. Catherine: I have a 256 memory card. This is a 32. Somebody switched it out and took my crime scene photos. Warrick: What? (Catherine closes her eyes and sighs heavily. She puts a hand to her head and grimaces. No, this is definitely not good.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- DAY] Brass: (V.O.) Am I being strong-armed by private counsel? [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE - DAY] (Brass is talking with Bruce Eigler's attorney, James Mandelbaum.) Brass: Because, contrary to what you may think, not everybody in Vegas is under the thumb of Bruce Eiger. James Mandelbaum: Captain Brass, I am simply here representing the interests of Mr. Eiger's estate. Brass: And those interests would be what? James Mandelbaum: Well, finding out what happened, certainly. But doing everything within our power to protect Mr. Eiger's private life. Brass: Protect what? The guy's dead. James Mandelbaum: Mr. Eiger was a very private person. And although he's no longer with us, his intimates are. Brass: Look, if this is about him being a sodomite, we already know that. James Mandelbaum: Excuse me? Brass: After the case is adjudicated, you can have access to the autopsy reports. In the meantime, let me do my job, okay? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY] (Conrad Ecklie and Grissom walk through the hallway.) Conrad Ecklie: When Eiger was looking into buying the Queen Regent Casino out from under Sy Magli, the Gaming Commission turned him down. So he invited some of the commissioners over to his mansion for a party. A week later, he had his gaming and his liquor licenses. Must've been a hell of a party. Grissom: Well, if the Wizard of Oz had nude photos of the wicked witch, Dorothy would have never lost her slippers. Conrad Ecklie: Well, if those files exist, it gives us a list of suspects, but nobody actually knows if he has dirt on everyone, or just wants them to think he does. (Greg catches up with them.) Greg: Brass subpoenaed Eiger's home phone records in the last year. Conrad Ecklie: Yeah, anything interesting? Greg: Numerous calls from Eiger's house to Sy Magli's office. Conrad Ecklie: Well, they were known business rivals. Greg: Between midnight and 4:00 a.m.-- What I like to call "love hours." Grissom: Wouldn't be the first time that hate mutated into passion. Greg: Public enemies, private lovers. So Jackie Collins. (They walk out of camera frame.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CASINO LOUNGE - DAY] (Open on the board: TANYA ROLLINS "A STAR IS BORN" ) Sy Magli: (b.g.) Tanya, get your sweet little ass back over to the piano, and we'll talk about it later. (Tanya Rollins turns from Sy Magli and heads back to the piano. She grabs the mike and talks with the accompanist. After a moment, she starts singing. In the background, Brass and Greg are walking toward Sy Magli.) Brass: Mr. Magli, Detective Jim Brass, Las Vegas Police. Greg Sanders from the Crime Lab. Sy Magli: Let me guess. You want to talk to me about Bruce. I hear they're using all the backhoes in hell to dig him a new pit. Brass: We're, uh, focusing on his life here on earth. Sy Magli: Well, you know, I thought that bstrd would outlive us all. Brass: When was the last time you saw him? Sy Magli: At his birthday party. (Sy nudges Brass and points to Tanya Rollins singing.) Sy Magli: She's going to be a big star. (He watches her sing for a moment.) Sy Magli: Bruce didn't have any friends, so he had to invite his enemies, a real "Who's Who" of Las Vegas. See, Bruce was a shark who circled around for information. And when he found your weakness, he filed it away to be used later. Greg: His phone records indicate that you spoke more recently than that. Sy Magli: Oh ... so now you found my weakness. Brass: What's that? Sy Magli: I was banging his wife. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - DAY] (Catherine walks into Grissom's office. She knocks lightly on the door. Grissom looks up.) Catherine: We have a problem. Grissom: Oh, no, not again. Catherine: The memory card from my digital camera was stolen and switched with a blank. The only time the camera was out of my possession was at the crime scene. Grissom: Well, how can that be? It was a secure scene. Catherine: I don't know. I dusted the camera and the card. There weren't any prints. All of the crime scene photos of the body and the blood evidence were on that card. (Grissom sighs and sits back.) Grissom: We do have a problem. Conrad Ecklie: Yes, we do. (Catherine turns around to find Conrad Ecklie leaning against the door jam. He nods at her.) Grissom: Get back to the crime scene, Catherine. Get what you can. Catherine: Well, I know that the scene's been released. Grissom: Well, go quickly. Catherine: Okay. (Catherine leaves; Grissom sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB - DAY] (Hodges reports to Nick.) David Hodges: Ready? Nick: Yeah. David Hodges: The baddest ass in Vegas had diaper rash. The sample that Doc Robbins collected from between his legs at autopsy: Brenner's ointment, used expressly for that purpose. Nick: Okay. What about the handprints from the railing and the floor in study? David Hodges: Same deal. Nick: I compared the hand size, and, uh, the prints aren't Eiger's, man. David Hodges: Hmm? Nick: No. Which means that ... David Hodges: (interrupts) You couldn't pay me enough to rub ointment on some old guy's butt rash. Nick: (chuckles) Well, maybe some people aren't as discerning as you are. How does a grown man get diaper rash? David Hodges: I'll take incontinence for $200, Alex. Nick: Maybe he had gastrointestinal issues. David Hodges: And the stomach contents. All milk. You get any Tox back? Nick: Yeah. No drugs in his bloodstream. David Hodges: Really? Nick: He had dilated pupils, and he was a sick guy, but ... no medications. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - FRONT STEPS - DAY] (Donna Eiger hoses down the front steps, washing away the bloodstains from the concrete.) (Catherine runs up the driveway with her camera in her hands.) Catherine: Mrs. Eiger! Mrs. Eiger, please stop. (She turns the hose off.) Donna Eiger: Please stop? What, am I supposed to look at his blood? Do I need this? (Donna Eiger's phone rings.) Catherine: I need to take additional photos of the crime scene. If you could just put the hose aside and ... (Donna Eiger drops the hose on the steps. Catherine motions for her to put the hose aside.) (Donna Eiger's phone rings. She answers it.) Donna Eiger: (to phone) Yeah. (Donna Eiger steps right in the watery bloodstains on the steps while Catherine tries to take photos of the scene.) Oh, Sy. You know what? Don't bother. You don't have to lie to me. I get it. I really, I really do. No, he's dead and you're leaving. Yeah, well, maybe I just thought that I was more than just a hate lay. (Donna hangs up. She heads back up the stairs right through the watery bloodstains on the steps.) Catherine: Uh, men just don't appreciate us. Donna Eiger: It's never enough. (Donna leans forward and brushes the water from her sandals.) When you put up with things that nobody else would and he stills wants more. I mean, just how low are we supposed to sink? Catherine: You know, I think you're better off without him, anyway. Donna Eiger: What's your name? Catherine: Catherine. Donna Eiger: You know, Catherine, this whole, um, sisterhood thing that you're trying to get going here, it's just really not working for me. You can't con a con, sweetie. (Donna heads inside.) (Catherine watches her go.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EIGER RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Finished taking the pictures, Catherine heads back toward her car. She looks over at the overflowing trash binds out front and heads over to get a better look at what Mrs. Eiger has been doing all night.) (She lifts up the trash bin cover and sees the rolled up carpet tucked inside.) Catherine: (V.O.) Sara and Greg went through these cans last night. They were empty. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE - DAY] (Catherine and Warrick are looking through the trash bins.) Warrick: Well, it looks like Mrs. Eiger's been a little busy. Catherine: Evidently. (Warrick takes out the rolled-up carpet from one bin. Catherine rips open the white trash bag and takes out some soiled clothing.) (Warrick drops the carpet on the ground. Catherine gets a better look at the soiled clothing.) Catherine: Uh, Warrick? Warrick: Yeah. (She holds up the cloth with a couple of safety pins still attached.) Warrick: Is that a diaper? Catherine: Mm-hmm. Warrick: Those safety pins, they could match the bruises that we found on Mr. Eiger's hips. That accounts for that blood. Catherine: Well, we can probably get DNA from the blood. But to confirm that Eiger actually wore this thing, Mia's going to have to test the urine inside. Lucky girl. Warrick: Lucky her. (Warrick turns back to the carpet and starts unrolling it. Catherine continues to take out the soiled linens from the white trash bags.) (At the bottom of the bag, Catherine finds a pair of high-heeled women's shoes.) Catherine: Do you think Donna always takes her laundry to the city dump? Warrick: I've got handprints and feces on carpet. He wasn't just incontinent, he was a ... Catherine: ... a freak. (Warrick snaps photos of the handprints and stains.) Warrick: That's disgusting. (He sees something else.) Warrick: Look at these indentations. I think they could have been a desk or something. Catherine: Were gonna have to take this back to the house and look at it in its original context. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - FOYER - DAY] (Donna Eiger and her friend stand in the foyer.) Friend #1: Is that even legal? Why are they ... Warrick: Take it straight up. (Warrick points for the tech to carry the carpet up the stairs to the second floor. He hands Donna Eiger the warrant.) Friend #1: Why are you guys doing this? Hasn't she been through enough? (to Donna) You know, you should sue the city. (to Warrick) She's gonna sue you people! How about that? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - SECOND FLOOR STUDY - DAY] (The carpet is unrolled in the study.) Grissom: How do you explain a handprint half covered by a wall? Catherine: I mean, we're not even certain this rug came from this room. Warrick: Well, I was gonna say the same thing, but the rug has eight divots that line up perfectly with that desk. Grissom: Think outside the rug. (Everyone's quiet for a moment as they look and think.) Catherine: A man with secrets needs a place to hide them. (Grissom kneels down near the wall and examines it. He sees something. He looks at Catherine. She stops and watches him.) (Grissom nudges the wall paneling aside and pushes it completely open.) (Catherine and Warrick are stunned.) Warrick: Get the hell out of here. (They kneel and look into the passageway.) Warrick: Nice. (Grissom looks at them and smiles. He turns and looks into the passageway.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - NURSERY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Grissom, Catherine and Warrick crawl through the passageway and into the nursery.) (They look around. Grissom turns the light on. Warrick laughs.) Catherine: Wow. Just when you thought you'd seen it all. Warrick: People lived in fear of this guy? Grissom: Imagine the fear he lived with. [SCENE_BREAK] DUE TO MATURE THEME, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EIGER RESIDENCE - NURSERY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (They snap photos of the nursery.) Warrick: A very powerful and paranoid man with a secret this big? It'd probably kill him if anyone found out. Grissom: I think it did kill him. Catherine: So we're back to suicide? Grissom: Well, let's collect for now. We'll, uh, theorize later. (Nick crawls in through the passageway. He takes a look at the nursery and his jaw drops.) Nick: Whoa. Who's your mommy? The true inner sanctum. (Catherine snaps photos of the adult-sized pacifiers.) (Nick finds the pink nursing gown and holds it up.) Nick: Hey, maybe we're looking for the hand that rocks the cradle. Catherine: I think that Bruce just wanted the same thing as every other guy. Grissom: Nurturing? Catherine: Easy access. (Nick smiles.) (Grissom opens a drawer and finds the enema bottles.) Grissom: Well ... (He holds them up.) ... this could explain the repeated insertions. (Catherine snaps photos of the adult-sized bassinet.) (Warrick pushes aside the clothes in the closet and finds a security panel.) Warrick: I think this was originally used as a panic room. Eiger's got a massive security system here, motion and site sensitive. No video, though. Catherine: Well, I guess we won't get to see who swaddled him. (Nick opens the toy chest and looks inside.) Warrick: Well ... there is a hard drive. I'll get it back to the lab. (Nick closes the toy chest and picks up the adult-sized pacifier. He looks at it.) Nick: I just don't get it, man. Grissom: What, you never had a transitional object when you were a kid? A stuffed animal or a blanket? Nick: No. I mean, I had a wooby, but who didn't? (Catherine's eyes widen.) Warrick: Oh, is that that blue thing that's in your locker? Nick: (chuckles) Don't even. Grissom: Seventy percent of children have something. Helps them with separation anxiety. (Grissom opens the trash bin.) Grissom: Maybe Bruce Eiger never got over his. Warrick: I got a question. Where would you buy something like this? I mean, this crib and this rocking horse isn't exactly, uh, regulation size. (Grissom picks up the white trash bag and looks at the emblem on the outside.) Grissom: (reads) Forever Baby. For the child in all of us. (Catherine opens the refrigerator and sees the bottles of milk on the shelf. She picks up one.) Catherine: Do you think they do takeout? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM -- DAY] (Mia walks into the locker room and sees Catherine there. She takes off her jacket.) Mia Dickerson: Hey. Catherine: Oh, hey. Mia Dickerson: You asked me to check the blood and urine from the diaper. Catherine: Yeah. Mia Dickerson: Yeah, the blood is a match for Eiger, and the urine had high levels of testosterone, which is indicative of an adult. Catherine: It's a safe assumption that it's his. (Mia slips on her jacket.) Mia Dickerson: Yeah. You know, one other thing. When I was running the urine, I found another spike that I couldn't identify. So I sent it on to Tox. Catherine: Well, I know that his blood work came back clean. Mia Dickerson: Some drugs metabolize quickly, so what doesn't show up in the blood, shows up in the urine. (Greg peers into the locker room through the hall.) Greg: Catherine? Catherine: Yeah? Greg: You gotta see the TV. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DAY] [TELEVISION MONITOR] Newscaster: (from TV) The photos you're about to see are the latest evidence in the strange death of casino mogul Bruce Eiger. (Greg and Catherine walk into the room. Ecklie is there watching the set also.) Newscaster: (from TV) We want to warn you these are graphic images of a bloody crime scene. In them, Mr. Eiger can been seen lying in a pool of his own blood in the driveway ... Catherine: Those are mine. Conrad Ecklie: (quietly) I'll have our public information officer contact his counterpart at the station. We'll also call Judge Anderson and get a warrant for the memory card, any copies, and the name of their source. (Ecklie heads for the door, passing Greg and Catherine along the way.) Newscaster: (from TV) ... Top Las Vegas gaming mogul left him with more than his share of adversaries. Catherine: Thank you, Conrad. Conrad Ecklie: It's my job. Newscaster: (from TV) ... However, there are still no apparent leads. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. FOREVER BABY - DAY] (Grissom and Nick walk into the adult baby store. They walk over to the counter.) Madge: Howdy. Grissom: Well, howdy. I was wondering, do you carry adult diapers? Madge: Oh, we sure do. (She looks at Grissom.) What are you, about a 34, 36? (Nick smiles.) Grissom: Well, they're not for me. Madge: Oh. (She looks at Nick.) Well, aren't you lucky to have such a nice daddy? (Nick's smile fades fast. Grissom turns and looks at Nick, a huge smirk on his face. Nick glances at Grissom. He looks at Madge and smiles.) Nick: I'm going to have a look around. (He clears his throat and steps away from them to look around the store.) Madge: Mommy-shopping? Grissom: Sort of. I was wondering, in your line of work, do you ever wear a uniform or a dress? Madge: No, but I could. Are you a drinker or a stinker? Grissom: Excuse me? Madge: Well, a drinker likes to ... (She motions to her breasts.) ... and stinker ... (She motions below.) Grissom: I get it. Madge: Yeah. (Nick is standing over by the bulletin board. He takes a phone number off the hot pink flyer.) Grissom: We're actually with the Crime Lab. We're investigating the death of Bruce Eiger. Madge: Bruce Eiger. (Nick walks over to the playpens and looks around. He lifts up the adult-sized jimmies hanging from the playpen.) (He walks around and stops in front of a toy chest. Nick studies the toy chest.) Madge: Are you with Vice? Because nothing here is illegal. It's simply nurturing. Mommy and adult baby playit's not erotic. Grissom: Well, Freud had a somewhat different theory, but ... Madge: Well, I could take you to my playpen. (Grissom glances behind him.) Grissom: You know, I don't think the department would let me expense it. (She smiles.) Madge: Okay, then, I'll just cut to the short version. Some guys can never love any woman but their mother. And some never had a mother who loved them. (Camera holds on Grissom.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY] (Mia removes a petri dish from the refrigerator. The bottom of the dish is labeled: (clockwise) COW, PIG, SHEEP, MONKEY GOAT, HUMAN. In the center is: UNKNOWN 43824-CW.) (In the petri dish, she puts a sample of the milk from the baby bottles found in the nursery.) SHORT TIME LAPSE: (The milk for HUMAN matches the milk from UNKNOWN.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Catherine and Brass interview Foxy Harris.) Catherine: Is Foxy short for anything? Foxy Harris: No, no, it's just Foxy Harris. That's what's on my birth certificate. I signed an exclusive nondisclosure agreement with K-R-A-C. Whoever gave you my name is the one who broke the law. Brass: It's funny what people will say when there's a warrant in their face. Catherine: Yeah, your friends at KRAC take obstruction of justice seriously. You stole police department evidence in a homicide investigation. You're guilty of theft and possession of stolen property. Brass: And we're looking at you for murder. Foxy Harris: I shoot pictures, not people. Brass: Right. You're a journalist. So, what were you doing at the Eiger house that night? Foxy Harris: Okay, so K-R-A-C isn't my only employer. I do discreet work for Sy Magli. (Quick flash of: [EIGER RESIDENCE - NIGHT] Foxy Harris hides in the bushes while Donna Eiger makes out with Sy Magli.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Brass: All right, let me get this straight. Sy Magli hired you to take pictures of him sleeping with Donna Eiger? Foxy Harris: That's right. Catherine: Why would he do that? Foxy Harris: Eiger had dirt on everyone. Nobody obsessed with secrets doesn't have some of his own. Magli asked me to find Eiger's, but, well, I couldn't find any. Catherine: So in the absence of scandal, Magli created some. Brass: By sleeping with Bruce Eiger's wife. Foxy Harris: Brilliant. Brass: You know, there were cops everywhere. Whose palm did you grease? Foxy Harris: I didn't need to. (sighs) Donna showed Magli, who showed me all the secret ways onto the property. (Quick flash of: [EIGER RESIDENCE - DAY] Foxy Harris walks out between the police cars and switches out the memory cards from the camera. End of flash. Resume to present.) Foxy Harris: You really should train your people better. All it took was a dark jacket, a baseball cap, and a camera. No questions asked. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY / TRACE LAB - DAY] (Mia reports her findings to Warrick.) Mia Dickerson: So here's the thing. The milk in the bottles was not bovine. It was human breast milk. Warrick: Human? Mia Dickerson: Mm-hmm. Warrick: All of it? Mia Dickerson: Yeah. Warrick: Well, it definitely wasn't the wife's. (They turn into the Trace Lab.) Mia Dickerson: No, the widow Eiger's DNA was not a match. However, whoever pumped all that milk also wore this. (She pulls out the dress smock from the evidence envelope.) Mia Dickerson: The epithelials were a match. Warrick: So we're looking for one very tired milkmaid. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Nick and Sara are taking apart Bruce Eiger's toy box.) Nick: This is the same toy box they sell at Forever Baby, except the one in the store was twice as big on the inside. SARA: Well, he did like his secret spaces. Nick: Yep. (They unscrew the screws from the box.) Nick: All right. (Nick and Sara remove the side paneling.) Nick: Whoa. (Hidden inside the toy box are files. They put the paneling aside and remove the rest of the wood.) Nick: Bingo. (They look at the labels on the file folders.) Nick: "Sy Magli ... Sam Braun ... Rory Atwater"? Sara: Sheriff Rory Atwater? Nick: Looks like it. Along with some gaming commissioners, judges, pro athletes. (Nick chuckles.) (Sara picks up a photo of a baby and looks at it.) Sara: No name. Just a date -- 12-20-01. (Nick looks at another photo.) Nick: Well, apparently, Sy liked the spectrum -- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB] (Warrick and Greg look over the hard drive from Bruce Eiger's security system.) Warrick: I downloaded the log from the Eigers' security system hard drive. All of the perimeter doors and windows in the Eiger mansion are protected. If one of them is opened, it's logged into the security system. Greg: According to Mrs. Eiger's verified alibi, she left for the club around Warrick: Okay. Garage door opens, 7:18. Got it. Greg: Dispatch received her 911 call at 11:42. So we're concerned with the four hours in between. Warrick: 8:00, the front door opens. It was probably the milkmaid. Greg: 10:09, the third floor balcony doors were opened. (Quick flash to: [EIGER RESIDENCE] Bruce Eiger opens the balcony doors.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Greg: Bye-bye, Bruce. Warrick: Now four minutes later, the front door opens again. Greg: Milkmaid exits? (Quick flash to: [EIGER RESIDENCE] The front door opens and someone leaves, walking around Bruce Eiger's body.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Warrick: 17 minutes later, at 10:30, the garage door opens. I guess that was Mrs. Eiger. (Quick flash to: [EIGER RESIDENCE] Donna Eiger drives home.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Warrick: But then a minute later, at 10:31, the front door opens again. Greg: She didn't make her call to 911 until 11:42. What was she doing for over an hour? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (Grissom and Catherine examine the crime scene photos.) Grissom: Count Basie said that it's the notes you don't hear that matter. Catherine: Two voids ... one pointing towards 11:00, one towards 1:00. Grissom: Something blocked the spray. Catherine: Something in a size eight. Grissom: Could that be explained by her rendering aid? Catherine: I don't think so. It's a fine mist. A spatter. (She looks at the pants fabric with the blood spatter on it.) I think he was still alive, expirating blood. (Quick flash of: Bruce Eiger is on the concrete floor spitting out blood on Donna Eiger's legs.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Catherine: I wonder what was going through her mind when she stood there and watched him die? Grissom: I wonder what was going through his? (Camera holds on the photo of Bruce Eiger.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Donna Eiger and her lawyer, James Mandelbaum are in the interview room with Brass and Grissom.) Donna Eiger: Fine. I was, uh, playing canasta at the club, like I do every Thursday night. I come home. I pull into the driveway, and-and there he was. (Quick flash of: [EIGER RESIDENCE - NIGHT] Donna Eiger pulls up the driveway and sees Bruce on the concrete dying.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Brass: You administer any help? Donna Eiger: Uh, more like encouragement. (Quick flash of: [EIGER RESIDENCE - NIGHT] Donna Eiger stands over Bruce. He turns his head and spits out blood all over her white pants and shoes.) (Camera zooms in to a CGI close-up: Down Bruce's open mouth and into his lungs filling with blood.) (Cut to: Donna looks down at Bruce.) Donna: Oh, dear. What happened to Mummy's widdle baby? Did Brucey fall down and go boom? (End of flash. Resume to present.) Brass: So you're admitting responsibility in the death of your husband? James Mandelbaum: No. Mrs. Eiger is not a health care professional. She merely delayed in calling for help. Grissom: She watched him die. Donna Eiger: He had a broken neck. If he'd lived, he would've been a quadriplegic. Brass: So it was a mercy killing? James Mandelbaum: It wasn't a killing at all. (Grissom gets it.) Grissom: You would've had to take care of him. Donna Eiger: Oh, bathe him, feed him, change his diapers. (She chuckles.) Freakin' gift from God to him. See the thing was, I-I just didn't want Bruce to have the satisfaction of being helpless for the rest of his life. Do you know what the last words I said to him were? (beat) You lose. Brass: So I take it that you weren't his, uh, his mommy? Donna Eiger: Look-- love, honor, cherish. Diapering was never on the list. Grissom: How'd you deal with it? Donna Eiger: Oh, I didn't. Look, I'm sorry, but ... you can't have sx with a man after you've seen him ... after you've seen him behave like that. So in order to save our marriage, we had, uh, an arrangement. On Thursday nights, I go to the club with my friends. He hires a baby-sitter. Brass: We have reason to believe it was the same baby-sitter every week. Any idea who that is? Donna Eiger: (shakes her head) No, women in my position have been looking the other way for years. I just had... something a little stranger to look away from. Brass: Why didn't you leave him? Donna Eiger: Nobody leaves Bruce. Brass: Well, maybe you had to get Bruce to leave you. You push him off the balcony? Donna Eiger: No. He'd already fallen when I found him. I turned him over. I watched him die. (Quick flash to: [EIGER RESIDENCE - NIGHT] Bruce is dead on the concrete. Donna Eiger takes the diaper away.) Donna Eiger: (V.O.) I got rid of the diaper. (Cut to: She rolls up the carpet.) Donna Eiger: (V.O.) I rolled up the carpet. (Cut to: She removes her shoes.) Donna Eiger: (V.O.) I changed my clothes. (She takes her pants off.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Donna Eiger: Then I called 911. And I should've left him in the damn diaper. I don't know what I was protecting. Brass: Your reputation. James Mandelbaum: Donna may be an opportunist, but she is not a murderer. And since neither of us believe that Bruce was suicidal ... Grissom: You're both psychiatrists? Donna Eiger: Look, my husband did not commit suicide. So why don't you just find the guy who did, and I will write him a big, fat check. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - STAIRS - DAY] (Catherine and Grissom walk down the stairs.) Catherine: That drug spike that Mia detected in Bruce's diaper -- "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds..." L-S-D. But I don't get it, because acid trips last for hours. Why wouldn't it have shown up in his bloodstream? Grissom: LSD is in and out of your system in twenty minutes. But it acts as a trigger, which sets off cascading reactions in the brain. (Quick flash of: Bruce is running through his hallway.) Grissom: (V.O.) The brain keeps cascading long after the drug is gone. (Camera zooms in to his eye and we see the nerve synapses in his brain flashing on and off.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Catherine: Well, there are good trips, and bad trips, and trips right off the balcony. Grissom: Strange drug of choice for a control freak. Catherine: Maybe not his choice. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB] (Sara and Sofia are looking through papers.) Sofia Curtis: So we're looking for a lactating female with a center whorl print. Sara: We recovered two sets of prints from the baby paraphernalia. His and ... presumably hers. (Sara shows Sofia the two prints.) Sofia Curtis: We've excluded Mrs. Eiger. How long can a woman lactate after giving birth? Sara: I had a professor in college, her six-year-old used to come in for lunch. I guess they'll go as long as you let them. Sofia Curtis: What, the boobs or the kids? That's a two-legged topless buffet. (She looks at the file folder.) Ugh. Sara: I'm thinking, you know, if you commit to something every Thursday night, you got to be getting something good out of it. We found oil drops on the driveway. None of the Eiger cars had leaks. I ran it through Trace. It was an AGIP ... Sint 2000. It's a synthetic motor oil. Sofia Curtis: A synthetic would make it high end. Sara: That particular oil is only used for Lamborghinis. How many lactating women are driving one of those? Sofia Curtis: So he either paid well or was a good gift giver. Sara: Maybe we're looking for a cash cow. Sofia Curtis: With liquid assets. (Sofia hides her smile.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB] (David Hodges sits in front of the table full of baby bottles, nipples and enema tubes.) David Hodges: I had the distinct pleasure of testing all the modes of ingestion from the nursery. Most people take acid on their tongue. Bruce ... (Hodges picks up the enema bottle.) Catherine: An enema. David Hodges: And people call me al. Grissom: Well, the whole point of having a "mommy" is to have her do these things for you. Catherine: So the acid was no doubt supplied by the same sweet thing who gave him breast milk from that ... boobs-ahoy dress. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - EVENING] [INT. CASINO - NIGHT] (Brass talks with Sy Magli.) Brass: So, that new Lamborghini is a pretty smooth ride. Grant from the dealership told me you bought one recently. Sy Magli: It was a gift. Brass: For who? Sy Magli: Tanya Rollins. You got to woo the talent. (Brass takes out a photo and looks at it.) Brass: Yeah, she's cute. How old is she? Sy Magli: Twenty-four. Brass: So, you been together nine years -- that'll make her about fifteen when you consummated the relationship. Don't you know that fifteen will get you twenty? Sy Magli: What do you want? Brass: Why was Tanya's Lamborghini parked in Bruce Eiger's driveway? Sy Magli: They were involved. Brass: I thought she was your girl. Sy Magli: Tanya always goes where the best deal is. I "rolled" her, Bruce bankrolled her. Her career-- smart move. Turned out she actually had other talents. She was making him a ton of money, so I gave her a call. Brass: You poached her. Sy Magli: Ah, come on, look, she jumped at it, all right? Tanya said he was a freak and she wanted out. Brass: Then what? 'Cause I got felony sx, infidelities and a picture of a baby I don't know anything about. Sy Magli: Come on, we both know what I was after. Brass: So, all's well that ends well, huh, Sy? Sy Magli: I didn't want him dead. There's no sport in humiliating a dead man. Now, if you' excuse me, captain. (Sy Magli turns and walks away.) (Brass stands there and looks around.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (Catherine and Brass interview Tanya Rollins.) Catherine: Your fingerprints are all over the nursery. The DNA that we took from your breast pump matches the milk from Bruce's fridge. And the arresting officer confiscated LSD from your purse. (Brass takes out Tanya Rollins' cell phone and switches it on.) Brass: And your cell phone is full of pictures of "Baby Bruce." Tanya Rollins: Sy said all that Bruce had was fear. Brass: Yeah, there's really not much to fear about a crying man in a diaper. (Quick flash to: [NURSERY] Bruce Eigler is sitting in his playpen playing with the mobile.) Tanya Rollins: All right, Baby Bruce. Playtime's over. (She kneels down and makes smooching noises to him.) Tanya Rollins: I smell a smelly. (Cut to: Bruce is on his stomach on the changing table. Tanya throws the diaper away.) Tanya Rollins: You made a big messy in your diaper. (Cut to: She puts ointment out on her hand.) Tanya Rollins: You ready? (She rubs the ointment on his backside.) Tanya Rollins: There you go. That feels so good. Tanya Rollins: Mommy's got a special treat for you. It's extra special today. (She adds LSD to his enema bottle.) (Cut to: Tanya holds Bruce in her lap while she sings.) Tanya Rollins: (singing) ... Wonder what you are ... (End of flash. Resume to present.) Tanya Rollins: ... and then, he just started acting crazy. Brass: As opposed to soiling himself and gumming your nipples? Tanya Rollins: Yes. (Quick flash to: [NURSERY] Bruce is high and spinning around.) Tanya Rollins: What is it with you, Brucie? (Bruce takes off his hat and throws it to the ground. Tanya takes out her phone and snaps photos.) Tanya Rollins: What are you doing? What is wrong? (Bruce takes out the soiled diapers and throws them on the floor. He grunts as he smashes it into the carpet.) Tanya Rollins: Wait, that's a bad boy. (Bruce crawls out of the nursery.) (Tanya follows him out.) [STUDY - NIGHT] Bruce Eiger: The light. I see the light ... I see ... (Bruce runs around in a circle in the study.) Tanya Rollins: What is it with you, Bruce? (Tanya crawls out of the nursery into the study.) Tanya Rollins: What's wrong? (Bruce is crying.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Tanya Rollins: And then, he just ... jumped off the balcony. Brass: That's it? Catherine: You knew this man's most intimate secret. You could've left him. Tanya Rollins: Nobody leaves Bruce. Catherine: What were you afraid of? Tanya Rollins: That I'd never see my baby again. Bruce said that he wanted a baby. That he'd take care of both of us. Catherine: And you believed him? Tanya Rollins: (nods) Yeah. Only after the delivery, he said he had to take the baby away. That he was going to take him to be with his mom. You know, wait until my career took off. Until I was ready to be a mother myself. And then he took me to his nursery. (chuckles) He explained to me, you know, about infantilism. Said that it was in the bible. And then he made me clean him. Brass: How long ago was that? Tanya Rollins: Five years. Five years and every week, I would ask him if I could see my baby and he kept saying, "next week". "Sure, Tanya, next week." "No, maybe next week." You know, "maybe the next week after that." (shrugs) I guess in my heart I knew that it was never going to happen. It's just that ... that was the only connection I had to my baby, you know? That and nursing Bruce. Catherine: Tanya, this man exploited you for five years. He didn't allow you to see your only child and ... there he was, high as a kite and you're the only one there. Are you saying that you didn't offer him any encouragement off that balcony? Tanya Rollins: If I told you to jump off a bridge would you do it? (Quick flash to: [EIGER RESIDENCE - NIGHT] Bruce runs up the stairs.) Tanya Rollins: Fly, Brucie, fly. Show Mommy how you can fly like a birdie! Tanya Rollins: Come on, you can fly! Bruce Eiger: I can fly. Tanya Rollins: You can fly! Bruce Eiger: I can fly, Mommy. I can fly, Mommy. Tanya Rollins: You can fly! Bruce Eiger: I can fly. (Bruce runs down the hallway. Tanya runs with him.) Tanya Rollins: You can fly, you can fly. Bruce Eiger: I can fly, Mommy. Tanya Rollins: You can fly! Bruce Eiger: I can fly! I can fly! (Bruce pushes the balcony doors open. He steps out onto the balcony and jumps. He falls down and hits the concrete.) (Tanya runs to the edge of the balcony, her hands flat on the concrete railing. She looks down at Bruce.) (End of flash.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. MRS. EIGER'S ROOM - NIGHT] (Brass talks with Mrs. Eiger. He shows her the photo.) Brass: Do you recognize this infant? Mrs. Eiger: No. I've never seen that baby before in my life. Brass: Well, Bruce said he gave you his lover's baby to raise. The mother's name was Tanya. Mrs. Eiger: Do I look like I could raise a baby? Brass: When was the last time you saw your son, Mrs. Eiger? Mrs. Eiger: Seven years ago. Brass: You didn't know he had kids? Mrs. Eiger: Do you know what my mother told me when I had Bruce? Brass: What's that? Mrs. Eiger: "Suckle the baby, cuckold the man". Brass: I don't follow. Mrs. Eiger: You were breast-fed. Brass: Yeah. Mrs. Eiger: My mother was a firm believer that the way you raised a boy was to make him hard. To let him know what the world was like right out of the womb. Brass: And what's the world like? Mrs. Eiger: No free lunch. All these mothers coddling their toddlers. Look where we are. Brass: Yeah, look where we are. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] Grissom: (V.O.) I've enjoyed working with you. [INT. RESTAURANT -- NIGHT] (Grissom and Catherine are sitting at a dinner table.) Catherine: Which part? The part where I got in your face or the part where I, uh, lost evidence, or uh, maybe you just miss me. Grissom: I did miss you. I missed your passion and your tenacity. I even missed your tush. (Catherine chokes on her drink. Grissom takes a sip from his drink.) Catherine: Really. Thank you. (Brass joins them.) Brass: Sorry to interrupt. I miss the punch line? Catherine: Yeah. (Brass chuckles as he sits down.) Brass: So Bruce lied about the kid. There was an out-of-state adoption that placed the day the kid was born. Waitress: Anything to drink, sir? Brass: And Bruce's mother ... (to the waitress) -- a light beer, please. (to Grissom and Catherine) His mother was a piece of work. Catherine: So, is Tanya going to take the fall? Grissom: Can't convict her for cheerleading. Brass: You can if there's LSD in her pom-poms. Acid makes her culpable. Class A felony. Catherine: Any more culpable than his wife, who just let him lie there? Brass: You know, what I can't get my mind wrapped around is, uh, you got a guy who's tough enough to get to the top of the heap in Vegas, all this power, and he ends up crawling around a playpen. Grissom: That's the point, isn't it? It's only the truly powerful that have the luxury to relinquish power. Catherine: But diapers? Grissom: Why not? Where would you go if you had the connections and the cash to go anywhere you wanted? Brass: I hear Fiji's nice. Grissom: Eiger went further. He went all the way back to his childhood. Brass: Yeah. I think I'd take Fiji. (Camera slowly pulls away from the three at the dinner table.)	Plan: A: Grissom's and Catherine's teams; Q: Who work together to investigate the death of a famous casino owner? A: their investigation; Q: What leads Grissom and Catherine to the bizarre world of infantilism? Summary: When Grissom's and Catherine's teams work together to investigate the death of a famous casino owner, their investigation leads them to the bizarre world of infantilism .
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Scott: We agreed to give each other the summer... no calls, no texts. How many are there? Derek: A pack of 'em. An Alpha pack. They have Boyd and Erica, and I hear there's a leader. He's called Deucalion. Braeden: Quiet. You hold on tight. You're Allison, right? Where's Scott? Allison: Lydia, look. Lydia: I don't know. It doesn't look like much to me. Allison: It's a pattern. It means something. Lydia: You really think Scott's gonna know what it is? Allison: No, but he might know someone who does. Lydia: How are you so sure that it means anything at all? Allison: Because that girl wasn't just looking for Scott. It's like she needed to find him. Like she had to. And that means something. Stiles: What? Scott: What, what do you mean, "what"? Stiles: I mean "what," and you know what. Scott: "What" what? Stiles: That look you were giving. Scott: I didn't give a look. Stiles: Oh, there was a distinct look, Scott. Scott: What look? Stiles: The look that says that the last thing you feel like doing right now is going to a party. Scott: It's not that. It just seems weird going to a different high school's party. Stiles: What? Would you... [Groans] God, one drink, all right? You'll be fine. I went to nursery school with this girl, okay? She promised to introduce us to all of her friends. So tonight, no Allison, no Lydia. Tonight, we're moving on. Scott: You're right. Stiles: That's right I'm right. Scott: Moving on. Stiles: Onward and upward. Scott: Let's do this. Stiles: That's what I'm talking about. Now look at me. Scott: Okay. Scott: How's my breath smell? Stiles: I'm not smelling your breath. Scott: Do you have any gum? Stiles: No. No gum. You're fine. Scott: Can you at least tell me what kind of party this is? Heather: It's my birthday! Danielle: Okay. Heather: Tonight. Danielle: Really, tonight? Heather: Yeah. Danielle: For real? Heather: Yeah. Danielle: You know, your first time is usually sorta gross, and it kinda hurts. Heather: That's fine with me. Danielle: No romance? No waiting to fall in love? Heather: When I fall in love, I want to be good at it. Danielle: Lord. You at least got yourself a target of opportunity? Heather: Stiles! Hi. Stiles: Hey. There's the birthday gir... Heather: so glad that you made it. Stiles: Me too. Heather: Come downstairs with me and help me pick out a bottle of wine. Stiles: Yes. [Music playing] Scott: Hey. Stiles: Okay. Hey, remember when we were little kids and we used to come down here all the time and then we would... yeah, we never did that. Heather: Stiles... I just turned 17 today. Stiles: Mm? Heather: And you know what I want for my birthday? Stiles: A bike? Heather: To not be a 17-year-old virgin. You've never done it before either? Stiles: Turned 17? No, not yet, no. Heather: Stiles? Stiles: Yeah, maybe that other thing too. Heather: Do you want to? I mean, would you be okay with that? Stiles: Yeah. Would I be okay with that? I believe so, yeah, um...Okay. No, yeah, very... Okay. Um, wait, wait, wait. Wait. I don't have any, uh... Heather: My brother has some in the upstairs bathroom. Stiles: Yeah? Heather: Yeah. Stiles: Okay, sho... Heather: You should go get them. Go. Stiles: Going. Heather: Go. Scott: This isn't the talk we were gonna have, is it? Allison: I need to show you something. Stiles: Yes, yes, yes! Heather: Stiles? Okay, this isn't funny. Ahhh... Stiles: Okay. Only got one. I figured, you know, if we needed more, I could... Heather? Isaac: You know, I'm starting not to like this idea. Sounds kinda dangerous. You know what? I definitely don't like this idea, and I definitely don't like him. Derek: You'll be fine. Isaac: Does it have to be him? Derek: He knows how to do it. I don't. Be more dangerous if I tried doing it myself. Isaac: You know Scott doesn't trust him, right? You know, personally, I'd... well, I'd trust Scott. Derek: Do you trust me? Isaac: Yeah. I still don't like him. Derek: Nobody likes him. Peter: Boys. F.Y.I., yes, coming back from the dead has left my abilities somewhat impaired, but the hearing still works. So I hope you're comfortable saying whatever it is that you're feeling straight to my face. Derek: We don't like you. Now shut up and help us. Peter: Fair enough. Relax. I'll get more out of you if you're calm. Isaac: How do you know how to do this, again? Peter: It's an ancient ritual used mostly by alphas, since it's a skill that requires quite a bit of practice. One slip, and you could paralyze someone. Or kill them. Isaac: You... You've had a lot of practice, though, right? Peter: Well, I've never paralyzed anyone. Isaac: Wait, does that mean that you... Peter: Wait, I see them. Derek: What'd you see? Peter: [Panting] It was confusing. Um, im... images. Vague shapes. Derek: But you saw something. Peter: Isaac found them. Derek: Erica and Boyd? Peter: I barely saw them. I mean, glimpses. Derek: But you did see them. Peter: And worse. Derek: Deucalion. Peter: He was talking to them. Something about time running out. Isaac: What does it mean? Derek: He's gonna kill them. Peter: No, no, no, no, no, he didn't say that. He did make them a promise that by the full moon that they'd both be dead. Derek: The next full moon? Peter: Tomorrow night. Derek: I don't see anything. Scott: Look again. Derek: How is a bruise gonna tell me where Boyd and Erica are? Scott: It's the same on both sides. Exactly the same. Derek: It's nothing. Lydia: Pareidolia. Seeing patterns that aren't there. It's a subset of apophenia. Scott: They're trying to help. Derek: These two. This one, who used me to resurrect my psychotic Uncle. Thank you. And this one, who shot about 30 arrows into me and my pack. Stiles: Okay, all right, now, come on. No one died, all right? Look, there may have been a little maiming, okay, a little mangling, but no death. That's what I call an important distinction. Allison: My mother died. Derek: Your family's little honor code killed your mother. Not me. Allison: That girl was looking for Scott. I'm here to help him, not you. Derek: You wanna help? Find something real. Scott: Derek... Give her a chance. Okay, they're on our side now. Derek: Well then maybe you should tell her what her mother was actually trying to do that night. Stiles: Okay, what would a pack of alphas want with Erica and Boyd? Scott: I'm not sure it's them they want. Stiles: Okay, what, like Derek? Like they're recruiting? Hey, Scott. You coming? Coach: The stock market is based on two principles. What are they? Yes, McCall, you can go to the bathroom. Anybody else? Scott: Uh, no, coach, I know the answer. Coach: Hahahahaha Oh, you're serious. Scott: Yes. Risk and reward. Coach: Wow! Who are you? And what have you done to McCall? Don't answer that. I like you better. I like you better. Does anybody have a quarter? A quarter. Stiles: Yep. Coach: Stilinski, I think you, uh... You dropped this. And congratulations. Risk and reward. Put the quarter in the mug, win the reward. Okay, watch coach. That's how you do it. Okay. Danny. Risk, reward. Danny: What's the reward? Coach: You don't have to take the pop quiz tomorrow. Danny: Coach, it's not a pop quiz if you tell us about it. Coach: Danny, you know, I really expect more from you at this point. Really. McCall. Risk, reward. The risk: If you don't put that quarter in the mug, you have to take the pop... the... the quiz. And... and you have to write an essay. Risk, more work. Reward... No work at all. Or choose not to play. Scott: But isn't this just chance? Coach: No. You know your abilities, your coordination, your focus, past experience... all factors affecting the outcome.So what's it gonna be, McCall?More work, no work, or choose not to play? Scott: No play. Coach: Okay. Who's next? Who wants the quarter? There ya go! There's a gamblin' man! Come on! Step up, step up. [Claps] All right, Stilinski. Sheriff: Stiles. Stiles: Yeah, coach, I got it. Sheriff: Stiles. Stiles: I couldn't find her. I just figured she'd hooked up with her other friends. Has no one really seen her since last night? Sheriff: No. We put out an A.P.B., but, Stiles, all her friends say you were the last person who saw her. Stiles: Me? Sheriff: We hope that it's just a series of bad decisions based on too much to drink. But if you remember anything else, you call me. All right? Stiles: Yes! Coach: Reward! Okay, who's next? Greenberg, put your hand down. You don't have a chance. Lydia: I want one. Allison: Which one? Lydia: The straight one, obviously. Allison: What if it's not a symbol?cWhat if it's actually a logo? Scott: So you think they kidnapped Heather to turn her? Stiles: Derek says it's easier to turn teenagers. Scott: But what would a pack of alphas need with a beta? Stiles: Scott, I don't know. I don't care. All right? This girl... Our moms were best friends before mine died, all right? We used to take frickin' bubble baths together when we were three. I gotta find her. Scott: Then we need Isaac to remember. Stiles: How? Peter and Derek couldn't do it. You know any other werewolves with a better trick? Scott: Maybe not a werewolf. But someone who knows a lot about 'em. Deaton: Obviously, it's not going to be particularly... Comfortable. But if we can slow your heart rate down enough, you'll slip into a trance-like state. Isaac: Like being hypnotized. Deaton: Exactly. You'll be half transformed. It'll let us access your subconscious mind. Scott: How slow does his heart rate need to be? Deaton: Very slow. Derek: Okay, well, how slow is very slow? Deaton: Nearly dead. Isaac: It's safe, though, right? Deaton: Do you want me to answer honestly? Isaac: No. No, not really. [SCENE_BREAK] Stiles: What? Derek: Look, if it feels too risky, you don't have to do this. Deaton: Get him back under. Hold him. Derek: We're trying! Deaton: Now, remember, only I talk to him. Too many voices will confuse him and draw him out. Isaac? Can you hear me? Isaac: Yes. I can hear you. Deaton: This is Dr. Deaton. I'd like to ask you a few questions. Is that all right? Isaac: Yes. Deaton: I want to ask you about the night you found Erica and Boyd. I want you to remember it for me in as vivid detail as possible, like you're actually there again. Isaac: I, I don't wanna do that. I don't... I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do that. Deaton: Isaac, it's all right. Just relax. They're just memories. You can't be hurt by a memory. Isaac: I don't wanna do that. Deaton: It's all right. Isaac: I don't wanna do that. Deaton: Relax. Relax. Good. Now let's go back to that night. To the place you found Erica and Boyd. Can you tell me what you see? Is there some kind of building? A house? Isaac: It's not... it's not a house. It's stone. I think marble. Deaton: That's perfect. Can you give me any other descriptors? Isaac: It's dusty, so empty. Like an abandoned building? Deaton: Isaac? Isaac? Isaac: Someone's here. Someone's here. Deaton: Isaac, relax. Isaac: No, no, no, they see me, they see me! Deaton: Just memories. You won't be hurt by your memories. Just relax. Relax. Good. Now tell us what you see. Tell us everything. Boyd: But I can't control it. Neither of us will. Isaac: I hear him. He's talking about the full moon, about being out of control when the moon rises. Deaton: Is he talking to Erica? Isaac: I think so, I can't... I can't see her, I ca... I can't... I can't see either of them. Deaton: Can you hear anything else?They're worried.They're worried what they'll do during the moon.They're...Worried that they're gonna hurt each other. Derek: If they're locked in together on the full moon, they're gonna tear each other apart. Deaton: Isaac, we need to find them right now. Can you see them? Isaac: No. Deaton: Do you know what kind of room it is? Is there any kind of a marker? A number on a door? A sign? Isaac: They're here. They... They... Deaton: It's all right. Isaac: No. Deaton: Just tell us... Isaac: They see me. They found me. They're here! Derek: This isn't working. Isaac, where are you? Isaac: I can't see them. It's too dark! Derek: Just tell me where you are. Deaton: You are confusing him. Isaac: I can't see! Derek: Isaac, where are you? Just tell me where you are. Deaton: His heart rate... he could go into shock. Scott: Derek, let him go! Derek: Isaac, where are you? What did you see? Isaac: A vault! It's a bank vault! I saw it! I saw the name. It's, uh... B-beacon hills first national bank. It's, um... it's an abandoned bank, and they're keeping them locked inside, inside the vault. What? Stiles: You don't remember what you said right before you came out of it, do you? Isaac: No. Stiles: You said when they captured you that they dragged you into a room and that there was a body in it. Isaac: What body? Stiles: Erica. You said it was Erica. Derek: She's not dead. Stiles: Derek, he said, "there's a dead body. It's Erica." Doesn't exactly leave us much room for interpretation. Derek: Then who was in the vault with Boyd? Stiles: Someone else, obviously. Scott: And maybe it was the girl on the motorcycle. Okay, the one who saved you? Isaac: No, she wasn't like us. And whoever was in the vault with Boyd was. Derek: What if that's how Erica died? Stiles: They, like, pit them against each other during the full moons and see which one survives. It's like werewolf thunderdome. Derek: Then we get them out tonight. Deaton: Be smart about this, Derek. You can't just go storming in. Derek: If Isaac got in, then so can we. Deaton: But he didn't get through a vault door, did he? Scott: We need a plan. Derek: How are we gonna come up with a plan to break into a bank vault in less than 24 hours? Stiles: Uh, I think someone already did. "Beacon hills first national closes its doors three months after vault robbery." Doesn't say here how it was robbed, but it probably won't take long to find out. Derek: How long? Stiles: It's the Internet, Derek. Okay? Minutes. Sheriff: Boys. Hey, time to wake up. Boys. Boys! I got to get to work. You two get to school. Stiles: Dad! Heather? Sheriff: No, nothing yet. Stiles: Ten hours and nothing. Scott: We're gonna find something. Stiles: Finding something doesn't make Erica any less dead or Boyd any less about-to-be-dead. Scott: Well, we still have time. Stiles: Is this whole, like, "remain optimistic "in the face of complete and utter disaster" thing a part of the "be a better Scott McCall" program? Scott: Uh, not if it doesn't work. Stiles: No, it works. Oh, dad! Dad? Dad! Lydia: So mystery girl leaves a bruise on our arms that turns out to be the logo for a bank? [Scoffs] What's she trying to do? Give us investment advice? Allison: Not at this bank. It's been closed for years. Lydia: Why aren't you telling Scott? Allison: Because according to someone, I need to find something real. Which reminds me, um, I can't drive you home today. I have an errand to run after school. Scott: All right, so we meet at Derek's at 5:00 to go over the plan, and then we don't get started until dark. Stiles: 'Kay. What do we do till then? Scott: What, right now? We've got English. Sheriff: Okay. You see this? This is how they got in. It's a rooftop air conditioning vent. Leads down inside into the wall of the vault, which is here. Okay? One of the robbers was lowered into this shaft Now, that space is so small, it took him about 12 hours to drill into that wall, which is stone, by the way. Then throughout the rest of the night, they siphoned the cash up to the guys back on the roof through that one little shaft in the wall.Boom. Scott: Can we fit in there? Stiles: Yes, we can, but very, very barely. And they also patched the wall, obviously, so we're gonna need a drill of some kind. I'm thinking maybe a diamond bit... Derek: look, forget the drill. Stiles: Sorry? Derek: If I go in first, how much space do I have? What do you... what do you think you're gonna do, Derek? You gonna punch through the wall? Derek: Yes, Stiles, I'm gonna punch through the wall. Stiles: Okay, okay, big guy. Let's see it. Let's see that fist. Big, old fist. Make it, come on. Get it out there. Don't be scared. Big, bad wolf.Yeah, look at that.Okay, see this?That's maybe 3 inches of room to gather enough force to punch through solid co... Stiles: He could do it. Derek: I'll get through the wall. Who's following me down? Peter: Don't look at me.I'm not up to fighting speed yet, and honestly, with Isaac out of commission, you're not looking at very good odds for yourself. Derek: So I'm supposed to just let them die? Peter: One of them is already dead. Derek: We don't know that. Peter: Do I have to remind you what we're up against here? A pack of alphas. All of them, killers. And if that's not enough to scare your testicles back into your stomach, try to remember that two of them combine bodies to form one giant Alpha. I'm sure Erica and Boyd were sweet kids. They're gonna be missed. Stiles: Could someone kill him again, please? Peter: Derek, seriously? Not worth the risk. Derek: What about you? Stiles: Yeah, if you want me to come... Derek: Not you. Stiles: Got it. Scott: I don't know about Erica. But if Boyd's still alive, we have to do something. We have to try. Derek: But? Scott: Who's the other girl? The one locked in there with Boyd? Allison: Ms. Morrell? Ms. Morrell: Keep your mouth shut, and listen close. You have no idea what you just stepped into. Right now you've got maybe 20 seconds to get your ass hidden. Allison: What are you doing? Ms. Morrell: Get in that storage closet over there.Lock the door.When you hear the fighting start, that's when you come out. Allison: What fighting? Ms. Morrell: You'll hear it. Now, go! Stiles: I can't take waiting around like this, you know? It's nerve-racking. My nerves are racked. They're severely racked. Racked. Peter: I could beat you unconscious and wake you when it's over. Stiles: You think Erica's really dead? Peter: You think I really care? Stiles: I just... I don't understand the bank, though, okay? Wha... like, why wouldn't they chain them up in some underground lair or something? They're an Alpha pack, right? So shouldn't they have a lair? Peter: They're werewolves, not bond villains. Stiles: Wait a sec. Wait a sec. Maybe they're living there. You know? Like, maybe the bank vault reminds them of their little wolf dens. Peter: Wolf dens? Stiles: Yeah, wolf dens.Where do you live? Peter: In an underground network of caves hidden deep in the woods. Stiles: Whoa, really? Peter: No, you idiot. I have an apartment downtown. Stiles: Okay, fine, but still, that just proves that there's something up with the bank. And why wait around for the full moon, huh? Why not just kill them whenever they want to? Peter: Maybe they think it's poetic. Stiles: They've already had three full moons to be poetic. Peter: And here you've only had one full hour to be so annoying... Stiles: No, go ahead, finish what you were saying. I'm an... I'm annoying. What were you gonna say there? Peter: What are the walls made of? Stiles: What? Uh... I don't know, like, wood and brick or... Peter: No, the vault, the vault, the walls, what are they made out of? Where would it say that? Doesn't say anything. Where... where would it say the materials, the type of stone? Stiles: Oh.. Oh, hang on. Yeah, here, hang on. Here. It's gotta be in there. Derek: What? Scott: There's just something I can't get out of my head. Derek: The moon's rising, Scott. What is it? Scott: Risk and reward. Derek: Which means what? Scott: We're not measuring the risk with enough information. We don't know enough. Derek: We know time's running out. Scott: Yeah, but think about it. They put the triskele on your door four months ago. What have they been doing all this time? Why wait until now? Derek: We don't have the time to figure out every little detail. Okay, but what if this detail, the reason why they waited... what if it's the most important one? Derek: Then we do nothing. And Boyd and Erica are dead. I know what I'm risking. My life for theirs. And I won't blame you if you don't follow me. Stiles: There, that's it. Peter: Hecatolite. Stiles: Is that awful? That sounds awful. Peter: Get 'em on the phone. Call them. Now! Stiles: Okay, why? Peter: 'Cause Boyd and that girl aren't gonna kill each other. They're gonna kill Derek and Scott. Derek: Boyd? Boyd? It's me. It's Derek. Scott: Stiles, now is not the best time. Stiles: Scott! Scott! No, listen to me, okay? Look, you gotta get outta there. Look, the walls of the vault are made with a mineral called hecatolite. It scatters the moonlight. Scott: What does that mean? Derek: We're here to get you out, okay? Stiles: Look, it keeps the moonlight out, okay? They haven't felt the full moon in months. Peter: Okay, think of it like the gladiators in the Roman colosseum. They used to starve the lions for three days, making them more vicious, more out of control. Deucalion has kept them from shifting for three full moons, diminishing their tolerance to it. Stiles: Scott, they're gonna be stronger... Peter: More savage, more bloodthirsty, Scott, they're the lions. They're the starved lions, and you and Derek just stepped into the colosseum. Scott: Derek, we got a problem, a really big problem. Derek: Cora? Scott: Who? Derek: Cora? Cora: Derek, get out. Get out now! Stiles: Scott? Hey, Scott! Scott! Scott: No. No! Wait! Stiles: Scott? Scott, are you hearing this? Scott! Deucalion: Don't kid yourself, Marin. It's not the first time you've gotten your hands dirty. Scott: You know her? Derek: She's my sister, my younger sister. Scott: What the hell is she doing here? Derek: Like I have a clue. I thought she was dead! Allison: Look out! Derek: No! Don't break the seal! Allison: Boyd! Scott: Don't touch her! Derek: What were you thinking? Allison: That I had to do something. Scott: She saved our lives. Derek: Yeah, and what do you think they're gonna do out there? Do you have any idea what we just set free? Allison: You want to blame me? Well, I am not the one turning teenagers into killers. Derek: No. No, that's just the rest of your family. Allison: I made mistakes. Gerard is not my fault. Derek: And what about your mother? Allison: What do you mean? Derek: Tell her, Scott. Allison: What does he mean, Scott? What does he mean?	Plan: A: Stiles' childhood friend; Q: Who is Heather? A: The guys; Q: Who helps Isaac recover his memory? A: Isaac; Q: Who is the boy who helped Heather recover her memory? A: an abandoned bank vault; Q: Where were Boyd and Erica kept? A: Cora; Q: What is the name of the female werewolf that Derek recognizes as his younger sister? A: the Hale house fire; Q: When was Cora presumed to have been killed? A: 3 months; Q: How long had Boyd and Cora been kept from transforming? A: Allison; Q: Who saves Derek and Scott by setting the wolves free? A: the wolves; Q: What does Allison set free to save Derek and Scott? Summary: Stiles' childhood friend, Heather, is attacked and goes missing. The guys help Isaac recover his memory, and it is revealed that he had found Boyd and another female werewolf being kept in an abandoned bank vault. However, Erica may already have been killed. When Derek and Scott break in to save them, Derek recognizes the other female werewolf as his younger sister Cora, presumed killed in the Hale house fire. Stiles and Peter discover that Boyd and Cora had been kept from transforming for 3 months. Wild and bloodthirsty, Boyd and Cora almost kill Derek and Scott until Allison saves them by setting the wolves free.
[Babylon. Two HDGBs(R) -- dressedin cowboy hats, shiny tight-loose jockstraps, silverchaps, and boots -- start dancing to the song "IWanna be a Cowboy" Cut to Our Boys, including Mikedancing away. Dancing, dancing, half-naked gay men, HDGBseverywhere. Justin and Brian are making nicey-nice on thedance floor. The camera speeds up and then slows down.Finally, a hot-looking cross between David Duchovny andDylan McDermott catches Michael's eye, marches across thedance floor, grabs Mike's butt, and pulls him in close.] Music: Boys Don't Cry # I Wanna Be A Cowboy Ridingon the range, I've got my hat - on, I've got my boots - dusty. I've got my saddle On my horse. He's called...T-t-t-t-t-trigger Of course. I wanna be a cowboy and you can be my cowgirl I wanna be a cowboy and you can be my cowgirl I wanna be a cowboy Riding on the chuck wagon, Following my man. Michael: Pardon me, are you a quarterback? Guy: No, why? Michael: You intercepted me like I was a football. Guy: When I see something I want, I grab it and I runwith it. Michael: And you want me? Guy: There's no one else in the room, Beautiful. Let's goto the backroom and exchange numbers. Michael: Wait, I can't. I'm in a relationship. Guy: I am, too. So? Michael: So we cannot fool around. Guy: How long are you two together? Michael: Almost five months. Guy: Wait a few more. You will. [He gives Mike his card.] [Meanwhile,on the other side of the dance floor, Justin heads up thestairs, looking for Brian. He walks past a couple tryingto compare tonsils just as Brian slings an arm around hisshoulders.] Justin: Making out on the dance floor. Have you ever seenanything so juvenile? Brian: I guess you too mature for you, collegeman. Michael: Who's a collegeman? Brian: Little Justin is exceppted to Dartmouth. Michael: Mumsy and Daddy must be so proud! Justin: I decided not to go. Brian: Since when? Justin: Since I realised that I never be a Businessmajor. I decided, I wanne go to the Pittsburgh Instituteof Fine Arts. Emmett: Bloody dog! Justin: If I get in. Brian: And here I'd thought I was finally rid of you. Justin: Not until I say so! Michael: I can just imagine what your parents will say. Justin: I don't care what my parents say. I gotta do whatmakes me happy. Ted: Spoken like a true disciple of Brian's. Emmett: What happen to Hunkalicious? Michael: He try to drag me into the back room! Emmett: The nerve. Ted: Treating you like a piece of meat. Emmett: (whispers to Ted) He gave me a hard-on. Ted: Likewise. Michael: I told him I was in a relationship. He goes... Brian: So what? Michael: Like he didn't even matter. Ted: In here, it doesn't. Brian: So should do him! Michael: What do you mean, do him? Brian: I'll get you an instruction manual. Michael: David would kill me. Brian: David doesn't need to know. Emmett: As if you'd even be tempted, with Dr. Dreamboatin yo pants! [Ted's looking around at the upper balcony and stopsshort when he sees Blake.] Ted:Jesus, look who it is! I doesn't see him in a while. Emmett: Yeah, all good things must come to an end. Ted: He's still cute. Emmett: You say that about all the boys who put you in acoma. Blake: Hey! [Blake spots Ted and gleefully runs down the stairs. He'sobviously on about twelve different types of drugs.] Blake: Hey you! Ted: Oh, sh1t! Blake: Hey, who youre doin'? Ted: (nervously) Fine, thanks. Blake: It's great to see you! (whispers in his ear) Youare so sexy. Ted: Yeah, I believe you used that line on me before. Blake: You wanna dance? (All of a sudden a hand comes out of nowhere and pushesBlake away in this sort of weird, stop-action, time warpkind of way.) Emmett: No, thanks. Blake: Who is he? Ted: Emmett, that is Blake. Emmett: I've heard so much about you. (Emmett's head does this weird fast-action shake thingstraight out of Freakylinks.) Blake: Want some gum? Is hottin' here. You're hot. C'mon,dance with me. (Emmett pushes him back again. Blake looks up at Emmettlike a hurt puppy as Ted turns him down. Ted's head doesthe Freakylinks thing.) Ted: I said, no thanks. Blake: I'll see you later. Emmett: That's one total tweaked-out twinkie... Ted: You think? Emmett: Hollow eyes, twenty-two-inch waist, inability to hold a conversation. He's either a total crystal queen ora supermodel. [A bit further off, Brian puts onhis coat] Brian: I'm leaving. Justin: Where you goin'? Brian: Home to say my prayers. Should you go home and seeyour hobby? Michael: He's gonna be on some boring business dinner. Justin: Hold on a second. I'll come with you. Brian: Not tonight. [He leaves without Justin] Justin: Where is he goin'? (Michael smiles, but keep silence) [The Bathhouse. Brian walks in,past a p0rn movie showing two men making out in a pool.So, Brian's in a towel, walking down a dark hallway, pastother men in towels walking down the dark hallway. One ofthem grabs Brian's crotch, and Brian pauses. They sizeeach other up and decide to move on. Brian takes a peekinto the rooms along the hallway. There's a couplegetting it on. There's another guy just hanging out nakedon a cot. There's another guy taking his towel off as yetanother guy watches. Brian keeps moving. An overweightguy walking out of one of the rooms.] Marty: Brian! So, what are you doing here in the NinthCircle of Hell? Brian: I was reading Gorky and got a taste for the lowerdepths. Marty: See anything interesting? Brian: A tall redhead in 27 with a black leather dildo. Marty: Oh, yeah, him. He's definitely a possibility forlater. Brian: But it's all markdowns. Marty: If you got into anything give me a hall. I'll behappy to stick a finger in your ass. So you can go to theballs and fck him. Brian: You're a real pal, Marty. >[Meanwhile, back at Babylon, Tedmakes his way up to the restroom. A young man is passedout in the middle of the floor. No one's payingattention. Ted cautiously approaches the body on thefloor. It's Blake. Ted swears, then kneels down to try toshake Blake awake. The camera pans underneath the floor,like it's made of glass, so that we can see Blake's facepressed up against the floor, a long stream of vomitcoming out of his mouth.] Ted: Christ! Blake! Blake! C'mon, Blake! Blake! Blake,c'mon, wake up! Somebody give me a hand here?! Thanks alot(!) Someone help me?! fck ALL OF YOU! [Back at the Baths, Brian'sentered a dark room lit only by blue spotlights. Menhaving sx. With each other. With lots of each others.Brian silently observes it all. There's threesomes andfivesomes and sevensomes. There's this big pyramid of menall attached to one another. Groaning. Brian keepswalking. There's single couples. Having sx. Oral sx.al sx. Oral and a*l sx. Brian finally sees someonehe likes, who hands him a popper. Brian snorts it.] Music: Mousse T vs Hot N Juicy #Horny Yougot me horny in the morning and you kno-o-ow I try to call you but I can't find the telephone I sent a message through the Internet but it rejected I wrote a letter and I sent it with the po-o-ost The post it takes so long, so I've got to sing this song To let you know how I feel, what's the deal baby And I can't wait for you, and the things you make me do My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you I'm horny Horny, horny, horny So horny I'm horny, horny, horny I'm horny Horny, horny, horny So horny I'm horny, horny, horny tonight # [Briansees another couple in the corner, one guy jerking theother guy off. You can't see either of their faces. Brian-- curious -- wanders over. He pulls off the jerkee'stowel from behind.] Brian: Why don't you take off your towel and stay awhile? [The jerkee turns around. It's Dr. David Cameron has beenliterally caught red-handed by Brian in the baths.] Brian: David? [Brian looks down at David's crotch and then smirks.] Brian: What's up, Doc? [The hospital. Ted, Emmett, andthe doctor are in the waiting room.] Doc: Any idea on what he's on? Emmett: [reading a magazine] It was crystal meth. I cantell. Doc: We've got him on IV, we'll keeping him hereovernight. He should be OK to go home tomorrow. Ted: Thanks, doctor. [The doctor moves on.] Emmett: Okay, Nurse Nightingale, you did your good deed,just like a heartwarming episode of... something. Nowlet's get out of here. Ted: You can't just leave him. Emmett: Like the way he left you? Ted: What is when something's happen to him? Emmett: What do you care? It's not like he's your bestfriend. You don't even know his last name! [Ted stubbornly sits down in a chair anyway.] Emmett: Fine, stay all night. I'm goin'. [David's home. David skulks in.] Michael: Hey, you're home! David: Yeah. When you're in? Michael: Uh, a while ago. How was your dinner? Was itfine? David: It was all right. How about you? How was Babylon? Michael: Is was allright. David: Any cute guys? Michael: Well, no-one that interested me. You want somemilk and Oreos? [David grabs him and kisses him. He throws Mike upagainst the wall, pulls Mike's pajama bottoms down, andgets down on his knees. Mike's surprised.] [Debbie's, the next morning.Debbie -- wearing a pink t-shirt that reads, "I likefags" --yells up the stairs for Justin.] Debbie: JUSTIN! Justin: Coming! [Justin bounces down and takes a seat at the breakfasttable next to Vic.] Debbie: Christ! Didn't you hear me calling for the lastten minutes? Justin: I know you think because I'm young, you think I can just tumble out of bed and look like this. Vic: I don't see why not. I tumble out of bed and looklike this. Justin: Yeah, well, you're wrong. Even at my age, ittakes time and preparation. Debbie: Well, at your age is goin, partying until threeevery morning you gonna need a face lift before yourgraduating. [Vic gazes at Justin for a second and then gestures toDebbie. Debbie pauses, and then grabs a letter off of hekitchen shelf. She hands it Justin.] Debbie: Uh, this came for you. Justin: It's from the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts. Debbie: Oh? Vic: Well, you want gonna open it? Justin: I can't. Debbie: Give it to me. [Which she does. And reads, with a downcast expression onher face.] Vic: Well? [Debbie smiles, handing Justin the letter] Debbie: Congratulations, Picasso. [All screams and laughting.] [Blake's hospital bed. Ted'ssitting next to it, holding Blake's hand. Blake wakes upwith a start and looks around the room with a wild-eyedexpression, finally settling on Ted. Blake pulls his handaway from Ted's] Ted: Hey. Blake: What's goin' on? Ted: Sorry. I found myself sitting in a hospital roomnext to an unconscious person. Seemed like the thing todo. Blake: Hospital? Hospital?! Did something happen to me?!Am I right? Ted: You passed out at Babylon. Blake: I did? Ted: I found you unconscious on the bathroom floor. [Blake just stares at him, all freaked out, and Ted'shead does the Freakylinks thing again.] Ted: Doctor said your dehydrated, your blood pressure wasvery high. [Blake, breathing heavily] Blake: How long I ever been here? Ted: Since last night. I get you some water. [Blake reaches out to him] Blake: No, don't go! Ted: OK. It's okay. Just calm down. [Ted eases Blake back onto the hospital bed.] Blake: Do you have any candy? Ted: Candy? Life Savers? [Blake, like, inhales the whole thing.] Ted: Maybe I should go get the nurse. Blake: That's okay. Did you stay here this whole time? Ted: Yes, except at 6 o'clock I went home to pick up someclean clothes for you. Your's were... really disgusting.The doctor said you can go home later. Blake: What home? I was evicted last month. Ted: Where you've be staying? Blake: With some friends. Ted: Oh, that's good. So they can look after you. Blake: Not those kind of friends. [he starts to cry] Youmust think I'm so stupid. Ted: I don't think your stupid. I just think that you'rethis really sweet guy who has some problems and needssome help. [Blake clutches Ted's arm and weeps] Blake: I'm going to stop. I am. I'm going to stop. [Ted reluctantly puts an arm around Blake while hebawls.] [The Boys' Gym.] Michael: He came home from dinner so turned on we went atit all night. Brian: I'm surprised he still had the strength. At hisage. Michael: I should be in such good shape at his age. Emmett: You should all be alive at his age. Brian: So, I wonder why he was so turned on? Michael: Because I'm irresistible. Emmett: Because they're in love. And unlike you, theydon't have to prowl around the baths. They findeverything they need, right at home. Michael: So how was it? Did you see anybody cute? Brian: Not especially. Emmett: Last time I was at the baths -- of course, thiswas years ago -- I was in L.A. visiting my friend Shelly. [Cut to Emmett's flashback. He's walking down a hallway.He's in a towel. He peeked into one of the rooms] Emmett: "And there was this guy, lying on hisstomach, with his butt up in the air, just screaming,'fck me! fck me!' So I did, and afterwards, and I got aglimpse of his face, and it was --" [He leans in to whisper to Brian and Mike.] Brian: No sh1t! You fcked...? [He hold's Brian mouth closed.] Michael: So, she really is his beard. Emmett: They don't call her 'Whiskers' for nothing. [Ted walks up, bone tired.] Ted: Hey guys. Sorry, I'm late. I had a kind of busymorning. Emmett: Don't tell me you sat up all night with him. Michael: Who? Emmett: The Angel of Death. Ted: Look, you really don't know how upsetting it is towake up in a hospital room. Believe me, I know. Emmett: Yeah, thanks to him! OK, so it's over, right?You're done what you all can possible do? [Ted looks at him guiltily.] Emmett: Please, please, please tell me you didn't takethat tweaked-out tramp home. [Emmett stomps off in disgust.] [The Taylors' driveway.] Jen: Institute of Fine Arts! Oh, I have no idea yourapplied! Justin: I donna want to tell you until I'm knew. Thereover two thousands applications, but only seventyopenings, and I got in! Jen: I alaways told you, you're a gifted kid, didn't I? Justin: Yeah. Jen: But what about Dartmouth? Justin: Oh, I just write them and that I'm not goin'. Jen: [pauses] Justin, you're dad's expecting you to go. Justin: Because he went there? Jen: Sweetheart, I know how much you want to be anartist, but you have any idea how hard it is to living? Justin: Yeah, but it's that what I'm gonna do. What I'vealways wanted to do. Jen: It's a hard time to convincing him. Justin: I was hoping that you could help, will you? [Before Jennifer can answer, a short, red-haired womanwalks up the driveway.] Sue: Hi, Jennifer. Jen: Sue. Hi. Uh, this is my son, Justin. Why you just goright on in, I'll be right there. Sue: Take your time. I'll just wander through. [She goes inside.] Justin: Who is she? Jen: She's a realtor. Justin: What she doin' here? Jen: Uhm, I just list the house. Justin: Your selling the house? Jen: Justin. Your dad and I, your dad and I, we feel...we don't... we don't belong... Justin: What? Jen: Oh, we're getting into divorce. [Justin's mouth drops open even more than usual.] [Liberty Diner. Mike and Davidare at the bar.] David: Have I told you lately how hot you look? Michael: Actually you have, but it always bearsrepeating. David: You are so hot. [He and Mike are about to kiss when Brian interruptsthem. And pushes Mike over so he can sit right betweenthem.] Brian: How are you, boys? I don't mean to interrupted. David: Of course you do. Brian: But you mind if I join' you? Soda water withlemon, no ice. You know, after strenuous activity, whatyou need is plenty of fluids. David: Thanks for the health tip. Brian: Anytime. Speaking of exertion, Michael tells meyou two had quite a night last night. Michael: Oh Jesus, Brian! David: That's okay. As a matter of fact we did. Brian: So did I. Michael: Well, I don't think David wants to hear aboutyour trip to -- Brian: You're right, you're right. He probably wouldn'tapprove. So, what you've been up to lately, doc? David: Not much. The usual. Brian: Michael told me you had dinner with some client. David: That's right. Brian: Talk about boring. Although I had this one client,Meat and potatoes, wife and kids. Turned out he was gay.Not only was he gay, but he wanted to fck me. David: Imagine that. Brian: What can I say? There's a lot of duplicitouspeople in the world. Cheers. [Outsidethe diner, Brian walks out and finds David on the curb.] David: God, I hate the cold. I always thought I couldlive in some place warm like La Jolla, SantaBarbara...business would be good there, too. But I'mstill here. Brian: Maybe you're deceiving yourself into thinking youwant something you really don't. David: I want Michael. I love Michael. What you saw lastnight has nothing to do with that. Brian: You don't have to explain to me, doc. I'm not amember of the queer PC Patrol. If you want to go to thebathhouse and get your rocks off, I say do it. As long asyou don't hurt him. David: I don't intend to. Do you? [Mike wanders up all cute and puppy-like] Michael: Hey, want you to bite? [David slings an arm around his neck and leads him away.] [SCENE_BREAK] [Ted's. Ted comes home and finds Blake all scrubbed clean, and cooking many things in the kitchen.] Blake: You're back? Ted: You're up? You feelin' better? Blake: Yeah, actually... great. Ted: You cook? Blake: Oh, yeah. I worked at my parents work. I was theoldest of seven kids. Ted: Seven. Blake: So, I know how to make a chicken stretch. [Ted notices that the table's been set and candles havebeen lit.] Ted: Well, candles and everything. Blake: What? Ted: Nothing. Blake: You want to put up some music? [Ted puts in an opera.] Blake: That's nice. What is it? Ted: La Traviata. You know it? Blake: Not really. Ted: It's an opera. Blake: I figured that much. Ted: It's about this woman, Violetta. She's acourtesan... Blake: A what? Ted: A slut, basically. And she likes to go to parties alot. Blake: I know that type. So, what she's singing about? Ted: Well, she just meet this really nice guy namedAlfredo and she's wondering if she can give up her lifein the fast lane in order to be with him. Blake: Does she? Ted: She gives it a shot. [Blake opens the refrigerator and pulls out a pitcher ofwater. As Ted watches him pour water into two clearglasses, he flashes back to the night when Blake offeredhim a whole glass of GHB. Blake turns to give him aglass, sees the look on Ted's face and laughs] Blake: It's just water. [Ted nods uncertainly.] Blake: This diner is sort of ... Thank you for being sonice to me. Ted: You didn't have to do that. Blake: Yeah, I did. Actually, I wish there was somethingmore I could do. [He takes the glass out of Ted's hands and leans in.] Ted: What are you doin'? Blake: We're getting not far the last time I was here. Ted: Yeah, I kinda checked out in the middle. Blake: I figured we could just pick up from what we leftof. [Blake looks a lot older up close. Ted reaches for him,and they start kissing.] [The Happy Fun House. Brian'sLesbians are also kissing. And laughing, so thatreconciliation thing must be working out for them. Theygiggle into the living room, Mel holding a big flat boxbehind her. Justin's on the couch] Mel and Linds: Ta dah! Justin: Is that for me? Mel: Yes, for you! Who else? Lindsay: Who else? Go on, open it. [They got Justin a super-duper deluxe art supplies box.] Lindsay: It's for getting you into the IFA. [Justin wistfully runs his hands over the contents] Mel: It's what all great artists get. Lindsay knows thisthings. [whispers] He's so surprised he's speechless. Lindsay: I know you want to get into computer graphicsand animation, but first you're going to have to studyall the traditional techniques -- still life, life class,composition -- because no matter what you eventually do,you need to have solid, classical training. Mel: Even Picasso knew how to draw people's eyes in theright places. [Justin closes the box with a snap] Justin: Thank you guys, it is so nice. But I decided togo to Dartmouth. [David's. David is on the couch,staring into space, not reading his book. Mike walks intothe living room and startles him out of his reverie.] Michael: Enjoying the book? David: Yeah, it's a real page turner. Michael: How came your on the same page your for an houragain? David: I just coppy. Michael: Yeah, your easy to catch. Especially when youtalking with a lot of us in a sentence. Giving time whatto say next and your hand covering your mouth. David: Observant. Michael, I should say you the truth. Michael: It's no big deal. You don't finished your book. David: No, no about last night. Michael: Well, honey, when you said you could come afourth time, I knew you were lying. David: When I said I had a business dinner I didn't havea business dinner. I went into the Baths. Michael: What you're doin' there? David: Mostly walking around. It's not something I do alot, Michael. It was the first time since we've beentogether. Michael: I don't want to talk about it. David: I thoughed you should know. Michael: That you're fcking around?! David: I don't fck! Michael: And then you come home and you fck me. If yougave me anything... David: I said I don't fck! Mostly I just jerk off. Michael: Mostly. I don't understand. Aren't I enough foryou? David: Yes, of course you are. Michael: Then why would you do that? David: I don't know. I guess it's the thrill. I want theguys to...think I'm attractive. Sometimes I feel like Ihave to be off on my own. Michael: You are such a liar. David: It was the truth, Michael. Michael: fck your truth and fck you! [And runs out of the house.] [Emmetts home.] Ted: Well, we knew he was too good to be true. Emmett: Men. They're all the same. Ted: Except for you, Michael. Emmett: You are a saint. Michael: I don't want to be a saint. I want to be aruthless, heartless sh1t who fcks whoever he wantswithout regret or remorse. Brian: I'm sorry, that position has already been filled. Michael: For once I wasn't referring about you; I wastalking about David. Emmett: I say cut him loose, bstrd. Show him you're toogood for him. He doesn't deserve you. Brian: And who does Michael deserve? Emmett: Someone who will cherish him. Who will befaithful? Someone for whom he will be the sun and themoon and the stars. Brian: On what fcking Bette Davis are you living in? [toMichael] And what did you think would happen -- that youwould be monogamous forever? Emmett: This is so like-you to make some vile, homophobiccrack. Brian: Homophobic? Emmett: Yes, just because we're gay, it's not possiblefor us to have a loyal, loving relationship? Brian: Not because we're gay, because we're men. Ted: It's not different for straight guys -- I readsomewhere that sixty-four percent of straight menadmitted that they've been unfaithful. Emmett: I wouldn't know. I've only slept with thirty-twopercent of them. [The Boys all laugh. Except Mike] Michael: What, I'm supposed to let David do whatever hewants? Whoever he wants? Brian: I didn't say that. But maybe you should establishsome rules. Decide what's acceptable and what's not. Michael: I don't think I can do that. Brian: Well, then that's fine. End it all over a handjob. [Walking outside with Brian.] Michael: I don't not know why I'm asking for your advice. Brian: Because I'm younger and wiser. Michael: You're never been in a relationship, yet. Brian: A fcking hate that word. Michael: You don't know what it's like. Brian: I know he told you the truth. And I've got to givehim credit. I'm sure he wouldn't. Michael: You mean, you knew? Brian: Remember back last night? After I left you? Wheredid I go? Michael: The Bath. Brian: And where did he go? Michael: sh1t. Did he any...? Brian: No. Michael: And you weren't gonna tell me? Brian: If I had, you would have just thought I was tryingto break you up. Anyways it's not my business goes armwith you two lovebirds. Michael: Well, if he can do it, maybe I should, too. Brian: Then do it. Only stop carrying on like somebetrayed little housewife. [The Gas Station. Ted goes insideto pay for the pump] Ted: Hi, I get pump on row 3. [But he can't find his wallet. La Traviata plays faintlyin the background] Ted: Hold on, my wallet must fall out. [Ted looks in his car. No wallet. He gets this look onhis face like, oh, no.] [Back at his apartment, Ted tearsthe place apart, looking for the missing wallet. No dice.Blake walks in at the absolutely worst time.] Blake: Hey. Ted: Where were you? Blake: I've been out. To get you this. Ted: Thais. Blake: I asked the guy at the store if he knew anothergood opera about a slut. Ted: This is expensive. Blake: I don't care how much it cost. Ted: I do. How do you pay for it? You don't have a singlecent. Blake: I got a friend of mine to give back the money heowned me. Ted: And you spent all of it on me. Blake: Not all of it. Ted: Look, you can keep the cash, I don't care aboutthat. But please give it back to me so I don't have tocancel my cards. Blake: What are you talking about? Give what back? Ted: God, you must think that I am so pathetic. Mywallet, that's what I'm talking about. Blake: I swear to you, I did not take your wallet. Ted: Yeah, right I believe you. It just walked out on itsown. So, if you happen to see it out walking around inthe streets, would you please ask it to come home? Getout of here. Blake: Where? Ted: Wherever the fck you would have gone if I hadn'tpicked you up off that bathrooms floor, taken you to thehospital, and brought you back here! Blake: What about your clothes? Ted: You know what? Keep it. I don't want them. And here.[give him back Thais] Return this for the money your'friend' gave you. I already have it. [He slams the door on the way out.] [Debbie's. Debbie's working onthe sewing machine as Justin tries to sneak past her upthe stairs.] Debbie: Hey! What am I? The invisible woman? Come backhere. I've taking up the garbage. It's amazing what youfind in the garbage, even on your own. And look what I'mfound. Luckily I'm retrieve before my pesto from lastnight are all over. Justin: I don't want them. Debbie: You don't want them? Justin: That's why I'm put them away. Debbie: But these are works of art! I mean, look at thisone! You could frame them. Justin: Then you keep them. I've giving it up. [He tries to go upstairs] Debbie: Hold it! Get your bubble butt back here. What doyou mean, you givin' it up? Justin: Just what I'm said. Debbie: You don't just give it up. It's like giving upeating, or breathing. Justin: I'm still inhaling and exhaling. Call me whendinner's ready. Debbie: You watch your mouths, smartass. You're an artistand you got a gift. Justin: Big deal. Debbie: It is a big deal. That's something that was givento you! Justin: Well, I didn't ask for it and I don't want it. Debbie: Well, it's too late. It's yours, it's who youare! Justin: It's not who I am! I'm goin' to Dartmouth andgetting an MBA. That what my parents want. Debbie: Well, with all due respect to your mother, who'sa very lovely lady, who gives a sh1t what they want? Thisis your life! Justin: Deb, I've caused them so much trouble. Theygettin' into devorce. Debbie: Honey... Justin. Sunshine, you didn't break uptheir marriage. No kid has the power to do that. Justlike you don't have the power to put them back together.But you do have the power to fck up your own life. Makesure you think twice before you do it. [Mike waits in a snow-coveredpark. Really Hot Guy shows up -- walks up behind Mike.] Guy: Hey. Michael: Hi. I was beginning that you weren't coming. Guy: Well, saying it was a bit out of the way. Michael: Well, I thoughed we're alone, talk and go for awalk. Guy: Yeah, sure. I couldn't believe you called. Afterwhat you've told me about you and your lover. Michael: Yeah, well, things changes. Guy: So, you want to mess around. Michael: Can we please not talk about it? Guy: Sure. [They start kissing.] [Emmett's place. Emmett -- whohas taken the door out of his bedroom and replaced itwith a beaded curtain -- gets dressed while Ted mopes inthe living room.] Emmett: Honey, you did the right thing. You should feelvery good about yourself. Ted: I do. Can't you tell? Woohoo. Emmett: I'm serious. You said to that piece ofdruggy-disco-trash to get lost. If there was a magazinecalled Self-Esteem, you'd be the cover boy. You're theimage of dignity. [On cue, he parts the beaded curtain to show off hislatest outfit: a black fishnet button-down shirt overtight hip-huggers. Pretty conservative for Emmett.] Emmett: What do you think? Ted: You're the image of dignity. [Emmett blows him a raspberry.] Ted: He was practically in tears then. Emmett: Yeah because he knew you would cancel your creditcards before he could get the jackpot. Ted: But he seems sincere. Emmett: Please, you'd have to be a desperate queen tofall for that eleven o'clock number -- which you're not. Ted: What if something happens to him? What if... What ifyou starts hustling. What if I found out that he died? Iwould have that on my conscience for the rest of my life! [Emmett re-emerges in a long-sleeved shirt, with thechest cut out and replaced with clear plastic.] Emmett: Oh, my god! You are listening to too many opera!You offered him your home, your trust. You literally gavehim the clothes off your back -- something, by the way,that I would never do. And how did you repay you? Ted: You're right. Allright. When I even gonna learn? Emmett: C'mon, let's go to Babylon. Dozens of beautifulmen will reject you, and you'll feel so much better. [Ted grins. He puts his hand on the couch in order topush himself up, and slips his hand under a throw pillow,then freezes.] Emmett: What's up? Ted: Oh, nothing. Just my wallet. [Babylon! As the techno mix of"Forever Young" pumps in the background] Emmett: So, you misjudged him. You said a lot of terriblethings that weren't true. Ted: Me? What about you?! Emmett: Well, everyone knows that I'm a terrible judge ofcharacter. Brian: Yeah, just look at who he hangs out with. [Emmett nearly spits up his beer, laughing. Ted slams hisbeer down] Ted: I gonna find him to apologize. Brian: Try the bathroom floor. Ted: fck you! [Nearby,Justin's trying to get a beer from the bar.] Justin: I said I want a beer. Bartender: Not without ID. Justin: Who do you have to fck to get a goddamn drinkaround here?! Brian: Me. [to be bartender] Two bears. [The bartenderglares at them.] I'm thirsty! [Brian takes the beers and raises one of them in a toast] Brian: To Dartmouth. And to your bright shining future asPittsburgh's newest Andy Carnegie. Justin: I'll drink to that. [Brian moves the beer out of reach and adds] Brian: Only, I thought you were going to be the next AndyWarhol. Justin: I changed my mind. Brian: And after all the trouble I went to, to make youthe best homosexual I could. [He shoves a beer over to Justin] Brian: I can't believe you'd blow it. And over theflimsiest excuse: 'I've caused my parents enough pain.'How can you even stand there and look me in the eye? Justin: It's true. Brian: It's bullshit. They cause their own pain, justlike everyone else. And now you're going to give upeverything you want, just to make them happy? That istotally fcked! Justin: Shut up, Brian, you don't know anything! Brian: I know it's scarier finding your own way thandoing what's expected. Justin: I'm not scared. Brian: shyeah, right, you're terrified! Just like thenight you met me. I was sure you'd run back home, but youdidn't. You said, 'I'm going with him.' Justin: I cannot believe you remember that, consideringyou couldn't even remember my name. Brian: And look what happened. Justin: I turned into a Big Queer. Brian: Yeah, lucky for you, or else I wouldn't be wastingmy time. But it's too late now. There's no turning back. [Taking Justin's hand, Brian leads him to the dancefloor. They dance in slo-mo, surrounded by HDGBs andwatched over by Go-Go Dancers in war paint and breeches.] Music: Temperance # Forever Young # Somany adventures couldn't happen today So many songs we forgot to play So many dreams are swinging out of the blue We let them come true Forever young, I want to be forever young Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever< Foreveryoung, I want to be forever young Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever< Foreveryoung, I want to be forever young Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever # [David's. Mike quietly enters theliving room, and finds Davaid on the floor, organizingCDs.] David: I was worried about you. Michael: You could have called. David: I did. You're cell phone was off. Michael: What are you doin'? David: I re-organizing CDs. And before that, I did DVDs,I did the books, I did the medicine cabinet, I didstemware -- where the f*ck where you? Michael: Out. David: With The Boys or at the movies? Michael: I was with someone. [David closes his eyes in horror.] Michael: There was this guy I... I did tell you about theother night at Babylon. He gave me his phone number. Hewas hot and I was attracted to him so I thoughed 'whatthe heck?' I called him up. David: You don't need to give me all the details,Michael. Michael: Yeah, I do. We hooked up and uh... we went backto his place and we start to fooling around. And he wasgiving me a blow job. I suddenly realized that I didn'twant my dick in his mouth. So, I told him to stop. And Ileft, and I came home. David: Why? I mean, why did you tell him to stop? Michael: Because it didn't mean anything. It was justsex. And with us, it's always been more than that. David: I promise I won't go to the baths anymore. Youhave my word. Michael: I don't want you to promise. It might not be apromise you can keep. And the same thing goes for me; Ican't promise you that someday something won't happen.We're guys, and guys slip up. All we can do is berealistic about it, and realize that it doesn't mean thatwe don't love each other. Just take it from there. David: Wanna help me get things back in order? [Justin's room. Justin prints outhis acceptance letter to Dartmouth, with Queen playing inthe background. "Dear Sirs, This is to inform youthta I will be attending Dartmouth College as a member ofthe Freshmen Class. Sincerely yours..." Justin looksit over, and then looks up and sees his jeans jackethanging on the door. He looks down at the letter again,and then grabs a notebook, flips the letter over, andstarts drawing a sketch of the jacket on the back of theletter. Justin smiles.]	Plan: A: Brian; Q: Who discovers David at the baths? A: Justin; Q: Who finds out his parents are getting a divorce? A: Ted reconnects; Q: What happens to Ted and Blake? A: Michael; Q: Who is the hunk from Babylon who hits on? Summary: Brian discovers David at the baths; Justin finds out his parents are getting a divorce; Ted reconnects with Blake; a hunk from Babylon hits on Michael.
Flashback. In 1982, Ted is building a tower with legos. Ted (voix off): Some kids dream of being astronauts. Some kids dream of playing baseball. When I was a kid, I had only one dream. To build a skyscraper. Boy: That's stupid. (he destroys Ted's tower.) End of flashback Ted (voix off): There were some obstacles along the way. But eventually my dream came true. I became an architect. Ted at work. Ted: Morning, everyone! So, I had an idea for the atrium. Ready? Columns. Mr. Druthers: That's stupid. (he destroys his model) Credits. Ted: I... I can't believe you knocked over my model. Mr Druthers: Well, it's just... it's not exactly new, is it-- columns? I mean, what's your next groundbreaking idea-- ceilings? Floors? Windows? Ted (voix off): I know what you're thinking: Who's this jerk? Well, this jerk was Hammond Druthers, a legend in the architecture community. Very big in the '80s. He was also far and away the worst boss I ever had. Then I designed the Spokane National Bank Building. And suddenly... I was his boss. - And he didn't like it. Mr Druthers: Stairs? Ted (voix off): And to be honest, I wasn't sure I liked it either. See, before, when I was just another employee, I was happy, carefree. The guy who hung out in the break room making fun of the boss. Flashback. Ted's in the break room with two co-workers. Ted: Did you see what he was wearing today? It was like his pants were being held up by his nipples. Co-worker: Yeah, and that shirt with the flowers, I get hay fever just looking at it. Ted (voix off): But suddenly I was a different guy. Ted's in the break room with two co-workers. Ted: Hey, guys. What's so funny? Co-worker: Nothing. Um... nice shirt. Ted: Thanks. Ted (voix off): The hours were insane. I was always working even when I wasn't at work. Ted and Robin are on the bed. Robin is sleeping. Ted: Oh, Robin... I just had a great idea. Robin: Oh, do whatever you want to me just don't wake me up. Ted (voix off): Before, I used to be this guy. Ted: Dude, of course you should take the day off for the Foo Fighters concert. Just say you're sick. Ted (voix off): But now...I was this guy. Ted: Sick, huh? Unbutton your shirt. Hmm... "Foo Fighters." Get back to work. Ted (voix off): But still, the worst part was Druthers. End of flashback. Back to work. Ted: Well, I was thinking... Mr Druthers: Ceilings? Oops. Said that already. Then again, you seem to like rehashing old ideas. I'm kidding, of course. Another hole in one, boss. The whole gang's at the bar. Robin: Oh, wow, he must be really good-looking. Ted: Why would you say that? Robin: Well, 'cause only good-looking people can get away with saying things like that. Barney: I have found that to be true. Marshall: It's a blessing and a curse really. Lily: Ted, you can't let him treat you like that. Marshall: Yeah, you gotta ask yourself, who's the boss? Ted: Tony. Robin: Angela. Barney: Mona. Robin: Mona? Barney: Watch it more closely. Rock your world. Robin: So, what are you gonna do? Ted: Well... it's awkward, I mean, the guy used to be my boss. So, I went to talk to the managing partner. Flashback. Ted is with the Managing Partner. MP: Fire him. Ted: Well, sir, I was thinking he could just be put on a different project. MP: Fire him! He's an arrogant, washed-up, pain in the ass. In fact, fire everyone on that project. Druthers, Mosby, the whole lot of them. Ted: Mosby, sir? I, I... I hear Mosby's doing some great work. MP: Fine, Mosby can stay. But tell him he's on thin ice. Come here. I like you, Crosby. End of flashback. Back at Ted's apartment. Barney: You mind if I charge my phone? Ted: Knock yourself out. Robin: Well, Ted, if you do fire Druthers, the key is timing. Remember when I had to fire my makeup artist? Flasback Robin's work. Robin: Vicki, um... I'm so sorry about this, but there's been some budget cuts and, um, we have to let you go. I mean, after tonight. I still need my makeup for the broadcast. So... (Robin on TV wearing a lot of make-up.): Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims. End of flashback Ted: You know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna fire Druthers tomorrow. Barney: Oh, my God! (barney's holding a painting) Ted: What? Barney: Do you know about this? Ted: No. Robin: What is that? Barney: Only the greatest thing ever. Wait, wait, wait-- that's not enough buildup. If they were to cure cancer tomorrow, this would still be the greatest thing to happen all week. Okay. Now you're ready for naked Marshall. Ted: Oh, my God. This is awesome times awesome. It's awesome squared. Barney: I know, right? Behind the piano this whole time. Robin: Wait. If Marshall went to all this trouble to hide it, he clearly doesn't want us to find it. Barney: Oh, come on, Robin. Robin: No, I'm saying that he must be really embarrassed by this. We are gonna have so much fun. Barney: I know! We're gonna have so much fun! At Ted's work. Mr Druthers: Oh, sorry I'm late; lunch ran a little long. You wanted to see me, Mosby? Ted: Uh, yeah, like four hours ago. Mr Druthers: Well, excuse me, for spending the last four hours drawing designs for your building. Ted: This is a cocktail napkin. Covered in profanity. Look, Hammond, um, there's no easy way to say this, so... why don't we just, um, step into your office. The others employees come with a cake and singing. Employees: Happy birthday to you. Mr Druthers: Oh, you had me. You so had me. In Ted's apartment. Robin: So, you didn't fire him? Ted: I can't fire a guy on his birthday. Everyone would hate me. Besides, they put a party hat on me. My authority was compromised. Barney: Oh, hey, Marshall. Have a seat. I know how much you love stools. Marshall: Thanks. Yeah, stools are better for your posture. Robin: And, uh... I... got you a rose. Marshall: Thank you. That's so sweet. You guys are being... so sweet. Barney: Hey, guys. Guess what I got. A new dart. Robin: Oh, wow, a new dart. Ted: Hey, that new dart is great. Robin: I did not know you were such a fan of new dart, Barney. Barney: Oh, yes, Robin, I just love new dart. Nude art. Ted: Nude art. Robin: Nude art. Marshall: Okay, all right, so what, you guys found the painting, huh? Lily: I knew this day would come. Marshall: How did you know that? Lily: Because I didn't hide it very well. Flashback. In 1998, lily's on the bad while marshall's playing a videogame. Ted (voix off): So the story on the painting is that,back in college, Lily wanted to do a nude study for her art class. Marshall wasn't so into the idea. Marshall: Well, I just... don't think that some dude should drop trou just to pose for you. Lily: It's for class, and it's just that weird kid Hunter from my freshman hall. Marshall: The frisbee dude with the soul patch? He's like the hottest guy in school! Lily: No, he's actually a little husky... Marshall: Oh, he's just huggable! And complicated... and a little bit of a jerk. Just enough so you think maybe you can change him. Lily: Okay, just forget it. Marshall: Call me old-fashioned, I just think that I'm the only guy you should see naked. Lily: Well, then you'll have to do it. Marshall: Are you kidding me? What if somebody sees it? Lily: We're not in high school anymore. People don't make fun of you for posing nude for a painting. We're adults now. End of flashback. Barney: We totally saw your butt. Marshall: This painting has caused too much grief already. I'm destroying it right now. Barney: Oh, no, what's the matter, Marshall? Marshall: Where is it? Barney: I'll tell you where it is if you'll answer these riddles three. Marshall: You hung it up in the bar, didn't you? Barney: Yo, why you gotta ruin my riddles? Ted: Field trip! Marshall comes running into the bar with the others Barney: Oh, no. Someone put your painting up behind the bar. Classic! What a memorable prank. Carl: Hey, Marshall. What'll you have? Marshall: What'll I have? Um, I don't know, maybe a beer and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar! Carl: Ooh, I'm sorry, that painting's property of the bar. Marshall: I know that Barney gave you that painting. Carl: I don't know what you're talking about. Marshall: Whatever he's paying you, I'll pay you double. Carl: I doubt it. Marshall: Whatever he's paying you, I'll give you that plus ten bucks. Carl: I doubt it. Marshall: All right, you know what, Carl, you just lost yourself a regular customer. Carl: I doubt it. Marshall: This painting is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Robin: Okay, where should we put it up next? In his law school? Ooh on the side of a bus. Oh, oh! How much do billboards cost? Barney: Easy, Scherbatsky. Finesse. I've got a five-year rollout plan. I'll have you know that painting's got commitments all over the city. Then, after New York... Marshall runs to the painting, takes it and goes out yelling. Ted: One of my worst fears has come true-- I just saw Marshall grabbing himself naked. Well, I gotta go. Believe it or not, I have to go back to the office. Robin: Oh, I'll go out with you. Bye, guys. Ted and Robin leave. There's only Lily ant Barney left. Lily: You know, I wish everyone didn't have to make fun of that painting. Barney: Eh, we're not making fun of the painting, we're just making fun of Marshall. The painting's actually really great. Lily: Are you serious? Barney: Yeah. Lily: Well, thank you. You know, seeing it again makes me miss painting nudes. What? Barney: Paint me. Lily: What? Barney: Paint me. Ted is at the office. Voice: Who's that? Who's out there? Ted: Hammond, is that you? Mr Druthers: Mosby? Ted (voix off): Druthers and I were alone in the office. If I was gonna fire him, this would be the best chance I'd ever have. Mr Druters: Uh, look, just a second, Ted. Ted: Uh, no, I, I really need to talk to you. Look, there's no easy way to say... What, what are you doing? Mr Druthers: What are you doing? Ted: I'm standing here wearing pants. Are you sleeping here? What's going on? Mr Druthers: Okay, fine, yes. Not that it's any of your business but my wife had a little spat a few weeks ago, and I've been sleeping here until she cools off. Ted: Okay, well, uh, you're right-- that is none of my business. Uh, look, there's no easy way to say this-- I... Mr Druthers: Who am I kidding? She's never gonna take me back. Ted: It's okay. Mr Druthers: What did you want to say to me? Ted: Happy birthday, buddy. So, you've been living at the office? Mr Druthers: Yes. I'm an architect without a home. You see the tragic irony in that? Ted: Yeah, I do. Mr Druthers: Cause I design homes. Ted: I see it. Mr Druthers: But I don't have a home. Ted: Not lost on me at all. But I don't understand, why don't you just go to a hotel? You could be sleeping on a mattress instead of... what appears to be torn-up drawings of my building. Mr Druthers: Why would I go to a hotel, when any second, she's going to call and tell me to come home. She's a very special lady, Ted. She's quite... mannish. She gives me what I need. Do you understand that? Ted: Uh, no, I don't. Mr Druthers: If you were lost in the wilderness, she can provide for me. Ted: Well, that's the dream. Mr Druthers: I'm glad you came here tonight, Ted. Ted: Me too, Hammond. Mr Druthers: Call me Ham. Ted: No, thanks. Mr Druthers: Hammy D? Ted: No, I think just Hammond. [SCENE_BREAK] Robin and Ted are at the apartment. Mr Druthers is on the couch. Robin: So, I'm guessing you didn't fire him. Ted: I was this close. Ted (voix off): Meanwhile, Lily had been up all night in the grips of a dilemma. Lily's trying to wake up marshall. Lily: Oh honey, you're awake? Marshall: I'm awake. Is everything okay? Lily: Yeah. I've kind of been wrestling with something. What if I told you I had a way to pay for our honeymoon? Marshall: Baby, our honeymoon's already paid for. We're going to Howe Caverns. Lily: Well yeah, but-- but what if we didn't want to spend our honeymoon in a cave? Marshall: It's not just a cave, it's a whole labyrinth of caves. It's an underground adventure. There's a cave that's so dark that you don't even know you're in there. I mean, we're going to experience a whole new kind of dark. Lily: Well, what if I found a way to make a little extra money so that we spend our honeymoon not in Howe Caverns, but in Scotland? Marshall: Loch Ness? Lily: Yeah. And you know, Edinburgh and the Highlands and Glasgow... Marshall: Loch Ness. Nessy. Baby, I would love to search for the enchanted creature of the Emerald Loch, but... we can't afford that. Lily: Maybe we can. Flashback. Barney and lily are at Mclaren's. Barney: Paint me. Lily: Okay, I don't get this. You've been making fun of that painting all this time and now you want me to paint you? Barney: We knew we could torture Marshall because he has shame. I do not. In my body, where the shame gland should be, there's a second awesome gland. True story. Lily: Yeah, that's not the gland I'm worried about painting. Barney: Yeah. A nude Barney is a challenge. But I think you're talented enough to immortalize this. Now is the time-- I'm 31. I'm at the peak of my physical beauty. If I were a woman, I'd have passed it long, long ago. Long ago. Lily: Forget it. I promised Marshall he was the only guy I would ever see naked. Barney: I'll give you $5,000. End of flashback. Back to Lily and Marshall. Marshall: We're going to Loch Ness! Lily: Yeah! Ted arrives at the office. Ted: That cabby would not shut up. Mr Druthers: Yeah, we should call him a gabby. Ted: I think it, you say it. Mr Druthers: Hey, uh... thanks for putting me up last night, buddy. Give 'em hell. Ted: Morning, team. So, I have given it some thought, and I say we revisit columns. Mr Druthers: Oh, God, not this again. Ted, a man in a toga just arrived and delivered a parchment. Let me read it: Oh! It's from ancient Greece. They want their basic architectural elements back. Geez. Ted: What? Mr Druthers: You didn't hear me? Toga, parchment... Ted: Can I see you for one second? Mr Druthers: Ooh, I'm in trouble now. Ted: What are you doing? I thought we were friends. You slept on my couch, you ate my cereal. I tossed you more toilet paper. Mr Druthers: We are friends. But that doesn't magically make your bad ideas good. Ted: What? I don't believe this! You're, you're, you're wearing my clothes! And my girlfriend's... sneakers, man, you have weirdly small feet. Mr Druthers: Ted, I hope that you're not going to let our professional woes interfere with our friendship, because I really kind of need you right now. Lily is with Barney in the room. Lily: Okay, let's get this over with. Barney: Hey, hey! I don't want you phoning this in. This painting could, someday, become a serious work of art. I mean, you have been blessed with an amazing gift. Lily: Thank you. Barney: I meant me. Now, I like how you captured Marshall's essence. Goofy and unburdened, with wit. But me, I want something more regal. Something my progeny could look at and say, "There's stands Barnabus Stinson." He was wise... and strong. Lily: I don't think your sword will fit. Barney: I get that a lot. Ted (voix off): And so, as Lily began painting, Marshall thought about the $5,000 and what his fiancee was doing to earn it. Marshall is at the bar with money on his hands. Marshall: This isn't right. This isn't right at all. Ted (voix off): Finally, he could take it no more. Back to the room where lily's painting. Lily: Hold still. Hold still. Hold still! Barney: Paint faster! Lily: Okay, I guess it's time. Drop your shorts. Barney: Yeah. Wait, wait! That wasn't enough buildup. I need... In a world without justice, one man... Lily: Oh, just drop them! Barney: All right. Marshall comes in. Marshall: No! No, this is not right! Barney: We had a deal! Marshall: Well, I'm going back on the deal. Barney, get out! Barney: You...! Marshall: It's over! (he closes the door at Barney's face). (Yelling) Lily, I can't let you go through with this! (whispering) I found a castle we can stay in, but it's an extra two grand. (Yelling) It's just not right! (whispering). It's beautiful and they say it's haunted. (Yelling) I can't let the woman I love compromise her values for money! (whispering) I totally think we can get some more money out of him. (Yelling) I'm never letting my fiancee, ever...! (he opens the door) Oh, you're still here? Barney: Before you say anything, I'll give you an extra five grand. Marshall: We accept. Barney: You people are so easy to control. Dance for me, puppets, dance. Ted (voix off): And that's how Uncle Barney paid for Lily and Marshall's honeymoon. Ted is at the office. Mr Druthers: Come on, Ted, listen, why don't we get back and finish drawing the plans for a building which, in my opinion, is never going to get built, so you and I can get out of here and grab a couple of beers. Ted: No. Look, Hammond, there's no easy way to say this but... Man: Looking for Hammond Druthers. Mr Druthers: Oh, that's me. I'm Hammond Druthers. Man: These are divorce papers. You've been served. Ted: Oh, God. Mr Druthers: She's really going through with this. So that's it. It's over. Ted: There is no easy way to say this, but... Mr Druthers: She's giving me the remains of Wolfie? My dog is dead? Oh, my God. I can't believe this. She always played too rough with him. Ted: Believe me, there is no easy way to say this... Men (singing): # Happy birthday to you... # Ted: You've got to be kidding me! Mr Druthers: Guys, you have no idea how much this means to me right now. Ted: Wait, his birthday was yesterday! Man: Yeah, but a bunch of us were up at the conference in Montreal, so we thought... Ted: No! No birthday! No! I got something to say and I'm gonna get it out. Hammond, listen to me. I am sorry that your dog died, and that your wife is divorcing you and that... your life is falling apart and that these guys missed your birthday. And there is no easy way to say... What are you doing? What's going on? Mr Druthers: Oh, God... Ted: Oh, come on, you're not going to pull that, are you? Oh! Look, yeah, right. Now we're falling onto the ground. Well, nice try, but guess what? You're fired! You're fired, you get it? You hear me? You're gone! You're fired! (Mr Druthers is taken on a stretcher with an oxygen mask on his face.) In my defense, I think we all suspected Hammond might have been faking. On the plus side, the EMTs seem to think he's going to be just fine and, as you saw, they did admit that I did not cause the heart attack, even if they said it a bit begrudgingly. Ted (voix off): And there it was, rock bottom: They all hated me. But just when all seemed lost, I had the greatest idea of my entire career. Man: Margarita Fridays--great idea, boss. Lily is still painting Lily: Okay, it's done. I'm gonna step out, so you can admire it. Barney: Thank you very much, Lily. Lily steps out of the room. Lily: Marshall, do you have the money? Marshall: Yeah. Lily: Let's get out of here! Barney: A smooth area?! You gave me the Ken doll?! Marshall and Lily get out of the apartment. She left out Little Barney. Barnacle Junior. My Barnana is... Barnito Supreme.	Plan: A: a project; Q: What is Ted's former boss working on for him? A: the man; Q: What is Ted told to fire when he is constantly insulted by his former boss? A: Barney offers Lily; Q: Who offers Lily money to paint a nude portrait of Ted? A: a lot; Q: How much money does Barney offer Lily to paint a nude portrait of him? Summary: When Ted is constantly insulted by his former boss, who is now working for him on a project, he is told to fire the man, but he finds that a hard thing to do. Meanwhile, Barney offers Lily a lot of money to paint a nude portrait of him.
MUSIC IN: INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT TONY: So what do you think? ZIVA: Not bad, I suppose. TONY: Not bad she says as she walks in from the outdoor patio, past the fax machine and the mini-bar, complimentary basket of fruit. This is the perfect way to spend a weekend. Come on! Big screen TV! Ooh! Two hundred channels. Look at this. HBO, ESPN, The Mystery Channel. Turner Classic Movies. I take it you're not interested in the premium channels? ZIVA: There's only one thing I'm interested in right now. (MUSIC OVER ACTION) (MUSIC OUT) (THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT ZIVA: Do you think they bought it? TONY: I did. ZIVA: That's fairly obvious. TONY: For your information that's my knee. ZIVA: Whatever. You can get off of me now. TONY: It's only been ten minutes. I have a reputation to protect. ZIVA: We're not even sure if we're under surveillance yet, Tony. TONY: You can't be too careful when you're undercover. Let's give it another forty minutes, just to be realistic. ZIVA: Realistic, huh? TONY: Uh-huh. ZIVA: In that case... (F/X: TONY AND ZIVA ROLL OVER) ZIVA: I'm right on top. TONY: I can live with that.(SFX: TONY GROANS) TONY: What was that for? ZIVA: Because that was definitely not your knee. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY DUCKY: Oh, she's very beautiful, Jethro. GIBBS: Her name's Sophie Ranier. She's murdered over twenty five people, Ducky. DUCKY: Yeah, and her friend? GIBBS: Her husband. Jean Paul Ranier. Both Canadian citizens, both contract assassins. DUCKY: She suffered extensive injuries. It may take quite a while to determine the actual cause of death. GIBBS: They were killed in a car accident two days ago outside of Kuwait International Airport. Here's the accident report. DUCKY: I'm assuming this is urgent. I've waited three months to see Giselle. GIBBS: Yeah, apologies about the girlfriend, Duck. But I do need you to... SHEPARD: Giselle's a ballet, Gibbs. You really should get out of your basement more, Jethro. (INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENES) SHEPARD: We need to know everything we can about these two, Ducky. DUCKY: Why is NCIS investigating this? SHEPARD: Marine C.I.D. found two fake U.S. passports and two first-class tickets for Washington, D.C. in their luggage. GIBBS: They have reservations at the Barclay through November tenth. DUCKY: The Marine Corps' birthday. GIBBS: They're holding the ball there. Hosted by the Commandant of the Marine Corps. SHEPARD: Our top military leaders, Congressmen and Agency Directors will be there, including me. GIBBS: Tony and Ziva have taken their room reservations at the Barclay. They're there now pretending to be these two. They're working blind, Duck. SHEPARD: We're counting on you to fill them in on some of the more personal details of our couple. DUCKY: Oh, though it may be common knowledge that I talk to my patients. Unfortunately, to date, none of them have ever answered me back. GIBBS: Listen harder. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT TONY: Sweetheart, you know what I could really use right now? ZIVA: Some deodorant? TONY: I was thinking more along the lines of a back massage. ZIVA: Good idea. Why don't you roll over like a good boy? TONY: Oh, wow. Oh, and to think my mother thought I was too good for you. Ow! (SFX: TONY GASPS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. FREEMONT HOTEL - NIGHT (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) YUSSIF: What'd I miss? MAYA: They had sx. YUSSIF: Did they have any contact with anyone yet? MAYA: Just each other. Multiple times. YUSSIF: Was it good for you?(KNOCK ON DOOR) MAYA: Wait. Someone's knocking at their door. ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Who is it? MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Room service. MAYA: Room service. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT MCGEE: Compliments of the hotel management. (WHISPERS) Gibbs wants me to sweep the room for bugs and plant some of our own. And he also wants to talk to you. ZIVA: You can put it over there, please. MCGEE: Very good, Ma'am. ZIVA: Garcon... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - NIGHT ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) We'd like some extra bath towels. MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Of course. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT MCGEE: Just checking to make sure everything's in order. Would you like me to have the maid make up the bed for you, Sir? TONY: Oh, that won't be necessary. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Oh, and will you check the mini bar? We'd like it restocked with Red Bull. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT MCGEE: Red Bull. That'll keep you up all night, Ma'am. ZIVA: Exactly. MCGEE: Please accept this assortment of cheeses compliments of the hotel. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM YUSSIF: What's wrong? MAYA: Room service put a tray on our microphone. YUSSIF: Well you know what that means. MAYA: We're screwed? YUSSIF: Nope. You get to dress up as a maid, Maya. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT MCGEE: If you whisper, it should be okay. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - NIGHT GIBBS: Comfortable, DiNozzo? TONY: (ON MONITOR) Well, yeah. I'm working on it. Why do you ask? SHEPARD: We're looking at you, Agent DiNozzo. All of you. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT TONY: Ah, sorry about that. GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) DiNozzo... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - NIGHT GIBBS: What the hell are you doing? You're married assassins. You're not visiting the Playboy mansion. TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) It was kind of Ziva's idea, boss. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL - NIGHT (PHONE RINGS) TONY: Incoming call. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - NIGHT SHEPARD: Have her answer it. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT (PHONE RINGS) TONY: Sweet cheeks, do you think you could go over and answer the phone for me while I pour us some champagne? (TO ZIVA) Thanks, honey. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Yes. (SCENE CUT) MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) There's a cell phone in the Bible next to your bed. (SCENE CUT) ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Got it. (SCENE CUT) MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Keep it with you at all times. (SCENE CUT) MARCOS: (V.O./FILTERED) You have dinner reservations at the hotel dining room at nine o'clock. (SCENE CUT) MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Don't be late.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT ZIVA: The concierge. We were able to get into the dining room after all, my love. It looks like I'm getting dressed up for you tonight. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY GIBBS: That wasn't the concierge. That was their contact. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM MAYA: We're on the move. Let's go. We've got to get dressed for dinner. YUSSIF: I'm coming. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - NIGHT (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) ABBY: Don't look at me that way, Gibbs. It was league night when I got your nine-one-one. I was two frames away from a perfect score. And just for the record, the stupid outfits were not my idea. GIBBS: I like it. ABBY: It is kind of cute, huh? DUCKY: No sign of Mister Palmer I suppose. ABBY: Not since this afternoon, Ducky. GIBBS: Abs, these are their personal effects. Get yourself wired so you can feed whatever you find directly to DiNozzo and David. ABBY: Looking for anything in particular? GIBBS: Yeah, anything that will help those two act like them. (SFX: DOORS SLIDE CLOSED) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Solid on the visuals, Tony. TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) There's quite a crowd here tonight. See anyone (ON CAMERA) you know, Sweet Cheeks? ZIVA: Not yet. But the night's just getting started, my little hairy butt. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - NIGHT GIBBS: Abs? ABBY: I'm loading the photos into the computer. GIBBS: Duck, got any scoop for our married couple? DUCKY: I have the breakdown of the contents of their stomachs and intestines. If Mister Ranier had lived, I would have suggested a more fiber rich diet. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED) His colon was almost impacted with fecal material. MAITRE D'(in b.g. to MAYA/YUSSIF) Good evening, table for two? TONY: Do you think it's too late to order a salad? ZIVA: I believe our food is here. Bon appetite mon petit bout. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - NIGHT GIBBS: McGee, (V.O.) report. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT MCGEE: I've got the restaurant covered from the entrance, Boss. (CAMERA ANGLE ON TONY) TONY: I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM DUCKY: Tony, the calluses on Mister Ranier's hand.... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED)... Suggest he was left handed. GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Switch hands, DiNozzo. ZIVA: This is nice, isn't it? TONY: Yeah, a quiet little dinner....just the six of us. (PHONE RINGS) ZIVA: Our friend is calling. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - NIGHT GIBBS: Abs, I want that number. ABBY: Got it. ABBY: Starting the reverse search directory now. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) I'm glad you called. We were getting bored.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) I thought it would help to see your target in person tonight. (SCENE CUT) ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) He's here? MARCOS: (V.O./FILTERED) You don't see him? ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Relax, I'm been flying for over twenty hours. (V.O.) And the restaurant's packed. We will. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - NIGHT GIBBS: Talk to me, Abs. ABBY: He's calling from a pay phone. The address is coming up. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) You didn't mention anything about being surrounded by U.S. Marines. (SCENE CUT) ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) It's too dangerous for the sum you're paying us. MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Accomplish your mission, we'll discuss more. (SCENE CUT) ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) But you won't pay us more. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - NIGHT ABBY: Got it! Two, two oh five "M" Street. He's calling from a pay phone... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) ....Inside the restaurant! GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) DiNozzo! McGee! MCGEE: Already moving. TONY: I have to go to the little boy's room. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL LOBBY MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) I have to talk to my boss. (SCENE CUT) ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Do that. We'll wait for you to - he hung up.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LOBBY - NIGHT MCGEE: Don't move! Federal Agent! TONY: It's me, Probie. He's gone. (MUSIC OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT TONY: Must've slipped out through the kitchen. (V.O./FILTERED) I didn't even get a look. (ON CAMERA) You want us back at the squad room, Boss? GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) No.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: I want you and Ziva back in your room, maintaining your cover. (SCENE CUT) TONY: Oh, all night? (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: Do I stutter or something, DiNozzo?(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) ZIVA: Afraid I'll bite, Tony? TONY: The name is Jean Paul, Sophie. ZIVA: Jean Paul. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - NIGHT GIBBS: Hey Abs, what do you got? ABBY: I have a "whoopee" and I have a "but." GIBBS: Abby... ABBY: Whoopee I've got a photo of the man that Tony and Ziva are going to assassinate. GIBBS: But? ABBY: But... I have no idea which of these thirty two photos is him. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - NIGHT SHEPARD: What makes you think the target's a male? Did you forget I'll be there? GIBBS: Nope. Whoever set up the hit referred to the collar as a man. SHEPARD: You've made contact. GIBBS: Ziva got a pay-phone call. SHEPARD: You trace it? GIBBS: Gee, why didn't I think of that? SHEPARD: Sorry, Jethro. I'm a little tired. GIBBS: Yeah, well, you never could pace yourself very well. (INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE) SHEPARD: I have one word for you, Jethro. GIBBS: Hmm... SHEPARD: Positano. GIBBS: Come on! That was a week after I took a bullet. SHEPARD: Uh-huh. Where did the call originate? GIBBS: Pay phone in the hotel. We got there. The guy was gone. SHEPARD: Uh-huh. Where did the call originate? GIBBS: Pay phone in the hotel. We got there. The guy was gone. SHEPARD: At lease we know he's here keeping tabs on the operation. GIBBS: Abby's matching these photos with reservations in the restaurant. She'll check the names against invites to the ball. It'll narrow the target. SHEPARD: What if the hit has nothing to do with the ball? Someone who's a guest at the hotel? GIBBS: Ziva told him she didn't know the target would be surrounded by Marines. SHEPARD: And he wasn't surprised? GIBBS: No. (BEAT) hey, nothing's going to happen tonight. Tony and Ziva are hitting the rack. All the back-up teams are in place around the hotel. Why don't you go grab forty on the couch in your office? SHEPARD: No. I just need a little coffee. GIBBS: Yeah? And when the caffeine jolt ends? SHEPARD: I'll do what you do....get a refill. GIBBS: You're not me. SHEPARD: Chauvinist. GIBBS: Yeah. Yeah. I guess. Good night, Jen. SHEPARD: Jethro --. GIBBS: Uh huh -- SHEPARD: I need to bounce something off you. GIBBS: Okay, shoot. SHEPARD: My Director side is telling me to flood that hotel with security and notify the FBI of a potential terrorist attack. My agent side? If I do that, we lose the chance to take down an enemy cell operating inside the Capitol. They'll scatter. Of course, you'd stay the course. Trust your people to get the job done. GIBBS: Are you telling me what I'd do? SHEPARD: Asking. GIBBS: If I was Director, I'd give my people another twenty four. They can't get the job done, I'd notify the FBI. SHEPARD: You'd really do that? GIBBS: Nah. But that's why I'll never be Director. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM (SFX: SNORING B.G.) YUSSIF: The man snores like a drunken sailor.(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) MAYA: Well, we won't have to listen much longer. They saw their target at the restaurant. We're on plan. YUSSIF: I watched the videotape of their session this afternoon, Maya. It's pretty hot stuff. Those two really know how to live their life. You... you ever think about that maybe... MAYA: Forget it! We're here on a mission, period. You want something more than coffee, call room service. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT (SFX: SNORING B.G.) TONY: Oh my god! Ziva! Shh! Come on, you're killing me here! Sophie! ZIVA: Oh! (BEAT) What? TONY: Nothing. I thought I heard something. (ZIVA MUMBLES) TONY: Crazy chick. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - NIGHT ZIVA: (V.O.) I heard that, my little hairy butt. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY MCGEE: Good morning, Boss. Thank you. Hey Boss, this was sitting on my front porch this morning. GIBBS: What is it? MCGEE: It's a package addressed to Ziva. GIBBS: Well, yeah. I can see that, McGee. What is in it? MCGEE: I wasn't sure if I should open it. GIBBS: That's probably why she's using you as her mule. (GIBBS OPENS THE BOX) MCGEE: Sunglasses? With different lenses? GIBBS: Why? MCGEE: To protect her eyes? You know what, I'm going to ask her. I'm going to find out. GIBBS: Yeah, good idea, McGee. Send them a wake-up call. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Tony. TONY: Hm? MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Hey, DiNozzo! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY MCGEE: Tony! This is great. They're sleeping in a five star hotel. I'm a waiter. ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Want to trade places, McGee? MCGEE: (V.O.) You're awake. ZIVA: (ON MONITOR) Since zero five. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT ZIVA: He snores. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY MCGEE: I got a package here for you. ZIVA: (ON MONITOR) My shades. (V.O.) Can you bring them up with breakfast? MCGEE: (V.O.) Sure. (ON CAMERA) Gibbs wants Tony up, too. ZIVA: (ON MONITOR) Huh. My pleasure. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT ZIVA: Jean Paul, my little furry bear.(F/X: ZIVA POURS WATER ON TONY'S HEAD) (F/X: TONY LEAPS FROM THE BED/SHOUTING) ZIVA: Oh. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY DUCKY: Make the stitches precise, Mister Palmer. JIMMY: Uh, yes, Doctor. DUCKY: And when you're done, I want the supply locker inventoried and cleaned. JIMMY: I uh...actually already did that, Doctor. DUCKY: Then do it again.(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) GIBBS: What have we found out, Duck? DUCKY: That my assistant, Mister Palmer here, should keep his cell phone with him and turned on at all times. GIBBS: What can you tell me about our assassins? DUCKY: Oh, Mister Ranier here had his appendix removed. Mrs. had her left wrist broken as a child. We did, however, find some rather curious markings. GIBBS: Markings? DUCKY: Well, tattoos might be the more appropriate word. Almost invisible to the naked eye. On the inside of the fourth digit on both of their left hands. GIBBS: An eight? DUCKY: Or the sign for infinity. GIBBS: Some kind of terrorist cell ID? DUCKY: On their ring fingers, perhaps it means love forever. You know, I want to take another look at the x-rays, make sure I didn't miss anything else. GIBBS: Yeah, do it. You missed a stitch there, Palmer. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT TONY: We really should take you to see the doctor, Sweet Cheeks. ZIVA: Why's that? TONY: Because you snore like a drunken sailor with emphysema. ZIVA: Look who's calling the pot black. TONY: Kettle. The pot is calling the kettle black. ZIVA: Huh. I'd really like some music. Something with a little... beat, dear. TONY: Sorry.(SFX: MUSIC PLAYS B.G.) TONY: What have we got? ZIVA: Ooh, sneaky people. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Top floor, northwest corner, Gibbs. They have a laser trained on our room. MCGEE: I can't believe that your sunglasses can detect different light spectrums, Ziva. That's amazing. GIBBS: DiNozzo, we're going to need a diversion. TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) I think we can manage something, Boss. GIBBS: Let's roll, McGee. ABBY: Ziva, that is amazing. Big whoop, she has spy glasses. Anyone could do that. That's not amazing. She's just... ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Uh, you realize we can still hear you, right, Abby? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM YUSSIF: I think I'm going to need a cold shower after this. MAYA: Disgusting. Give me those binoculars! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT (SFX: ZIVA MOANS B.G.) TONY: I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. ZIVA: (COUNTS) Ninety six, ninety seven, ninety eight... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HALLWAY - DAY GIBBS: We're in position, DiNozzo. Give it the big finish. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM YUSSIF: We could make a fortune with this off the Internet. MAYA: They're serial killers, Yussif. I wouldn't recommend trying. (SFX: DOOR BURSTS OPEN) (SFX: ALL SHOUT OVER) GIBBS: Put them down! (MUSIC UP AND OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (VOICES ON TV in b.g.) MAYA: I have a whole new respect for NCIS, Agent McGee. YUSSIF: You guys are hard-core. MCGEE: We got lucky. It was actually the trained laser on the room that gave you away. MAYA: We were talking about your agents pretending to be married assassins. YUSSIF: Very convincing. MAYA: I don't think anyone in the FBI would actually go all the way just to sell a cover story. YUSSIF: I would. MCGEE: Guys, they were acting. YUSSIF: Trust me. I know when someone's acting when they're having sx. MAYA: It's true. I've met his wife. MCGEE: Tony and Ziva wouldn't.... TONY: (ON MONITOR) It's unusual for a man to like Love Story. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BALCONY - DAY SHEPARD: How do I explain to the Director of the FBI that we're running an undercover op in his jurisdiction without informing him? GIBBS: With a smile. SHEPARD: It's not funny, Gibbs. GIBBS: They had intel the two assassins were going to hit a target at the Marine Corps birthday ball. Did you get that memo? SHEPARD: No. Why didn't I think of that? GIBBS: Because you're exhausted. I told you get some sleep, and do that before you take on the Director of the FBI. SHEPARD: I can't, Jethro. GIBBS: I can fix this. SHEPARD: How? GIBBS: You're not the only one around here who knows how to play politics. SHEPARD: You're not serious? Your idea of politics usually involves some form of physical violence. GIBBS: Well, you know what they say, Jen. You can't make an omelet unless you break a few eggs. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) MAYA: Are we free to go now? FORNELL: Not yet. What the hell is NCIS doing at the Barclay, Gibbs? GIBBS: Our job, Fornell. FORNELL: Yeah? That involve jeopardizing our operation? GIBBS: You're damn lucky we didn't blow these two away! FORNELL: Which wouldn't have happened if you hadn't strayed into our jurisdiction! GIBBS: Conference room. Now. FORNELL: So anxious to play with the big boys. GIBBS: Really? Big boys my ass. (GIBBS AND FORNELL WALK TO THE ELEVATOR) MCGEE: Yeah, this is going to be ugly. MAYA: Oh, yeah. Fornell hasn't been this upset since... YUSSIF: The last time we saw him. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ELEVATOR - DAY (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED) FORNELL: Gum? GIBBS: The big boys? FORNELL: We really screwed this one up. GIBBS: Oh, you think, Tobias? FORNELL: The question is, how do we fix it without our Directors getting into a world class pissing match? GIBBS: Joint op. FORNELL: Who's lead? GIBBS: My team's already in place. FORNELL: Did you find out who hired them yet? GIBBS: Not yet. Working on it. FORNELL: I need more than that if I'm going to tap dance at the Hoover building, Jethro. GIBBS: Give us twenty four hours, then we flip. FORNELL: FBI gets operational control? GIBBS: Yeah, and credit for the collar. FORNELL: Agreed. The Directors get to save face and we... GIBBS: Get the job done. FORNELL: And people say we're bastards? GIBBS: Only because they know us. (FOURNELL CHUCKLES) (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY CHIP: I've got the IDs on the people in the restaurant who have invites to the Marine Corps Ball, Ma'am. Uh... Abby. Sorry. ABBY: Make sure Tony and Ziva get them. CHIP: Should I also check the restaurant staff, too? ABBY: International assassins hired to take out a waiter. CHIP: I was just trying to be thorough. ABBY: No, it's good. Good instincts, Chip. Run 'em. CHIP: Okay. Abby, can I ask you a question? ABBY: Yes. CHIP: Why don't you like Officer David? ABBY: What makes you think I don't like her? CHIP: I found this. ABBY: Oh. That. CHIP: Oh, I understand. I have the same problem with DiNozzo. ABBY: Tony is a great guy. You just have to get to know him. CHIP: Yeah, well you don't know him like I do. ABBY: He always gives new people grief. He learned that from Gibbs. Okay, quiz time. What's your take on Sophie Ranier's blood test? CHIP: Well, she's got elevated levels of human chorionic gonadotropin. ABBY: Which means? CHIP: She's pregnant? ABBY: Good, Chip. She's pregnant. GIBBS: Who's pregnant? ABBY: Ziva. I mean, not Ziva, Ziva, but Sophie Ranier, our dead hit girl. She's got a bun in the oven. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT MAYA: Like what you see, Agent DiNozzo? The room's clean except for the listening devices we installed. We're free to talk. TONY: Yeah, so you're the one who's been watching us? MAYA: Oh, yeah. When this is over, we really should go out for drinks. TONY: I'd like that. ZIVA: I'm pregnant, Tony. MAYA: Maybe some other time. TONY: She... she was kidding. ZIVA: Something wrong? TONY: Thanks. ZIVA: Oh, she's really not your type anyway. TONY: Hot and in a maid's outfit? They don't get any more my type.(PHONE RINGS) ZIVA: He's learning. Number's blocked. TONY: (INTO PHONE) Talk to me.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) I've been told to negotiate a price commensurate with the risk. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) I'm listening. MARCOS: (V.O./FILTERED) Not on the phone. Be in the lobby in exactly one hour. (SCENE CUT) MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) A black Lincoln will be waiting out front. Make sure you're not followed. (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) In position, Boss. (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: Your people set, Tobias? FORNELL: Got four unmarked vehicles standing by. We'll be able to follow them wherever they go. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Tony, Ziva, get ready to roll. Hour's almost up. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) Roger that, Boss. (TO ZIVA) You haven't fired your weapon, so it's already cleaned.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) ZIVA: It calms my mind. Forces me to stay focused at the job in my hand. TONY: The term's "job at hand." ZIVA: Same difference. Is something wrong? TONY: Just trying to picture you pregnant. ZIVA: Don't. TONY: I have to. I'm going to be a father. It's a great responsibility. ZIVA: Maybe it's not yours. TONY: Maybe she didn't know. ZIVA: Oh, she knew. TONY: So why take this contract, put our unborn child in danger? ZIVA: Perhaps we needed the money. TONY: Kids are expensive. ZIVA: Bullets are cheap. There's a big chance this meeting is a set-up, Tony. TONY: Are you scared? ZIVA: Nope. Excited. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. STREET - DAY MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) No sign of the Lincoln yet.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) That's a solid copy, McGee. (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) We're sending them down. FORNELL: (INTO PHONE) All mobile units prepare to roll on my mark.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) SHEPARD: This reminds me of our op in the former Czech Republic. GIBBS: You took a round in the thigh. SHEPARD: I had the same bad feeling before that op, too. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HALLWAY - DAY TONY: We're on our way to the elevator, Boss. GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Tony, Ziva.... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY GIBBS: We're not taking any chances on this one. First sign it goes bad you call it. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HALLWAY - DAY (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS) TONY: Hold the door! Thanks. HENRY: Sure. TONY: Sweetheart. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. HOTEL - DAY MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Okay, black Lincoln just pulled up. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, I got a visual on that, McGee. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY CHIP: I got a match! Abby! [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. HOTEL - DAY MCGEE: A man and a woman just got out. Heading into the hotel. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Car's leaving. GIBBS: I can see that, McGee! FORNELL: All units, hold your positions. That's not our Lincoln. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY CHIP: The waiter's got a warrant out on him. ABBY: For what? CHIP: Murder. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ELEVATOR - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/HENRY PULLS OUT A GUN) (MUSIC OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. ELEVATOR - DAY (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS) HENRY: You're getting off here. (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN) MARCOS: Not a wise choice, Mister and Mrs. Ranier. Weapons. ZIVA: We would have come to the third floor ourselves. Three armed escorts seems a bit excessive. MARCOS: Very good. Our location and our number in two sentences. It's too bad your friends can't hear you. HENRY: You're being jammed. MARCOS: Bring them to my room. If they resist? Shoot the woman. HENRY: Come on, let's go. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY GIBBS: Tony, Ziva, do you copy? DiNozzo! I said, do you copy? McGee! What the hell is going on there? MCGEE: (ON MONITOR) Boss, they're not in their room. They never arrived in the lobby. FORNELL: My teams have the entire outside of the building covered. They didn't leave the hotel, Gibbs. SHEPARD: Last contact was at the elevator. That leaves eleven floors they could have gotten off at. GIBBS: Eleven floors, McGee! How many rooms are we looking at? MCGEE: (ON MONITOR) Um... well if we don't count individual bathrooms and closets... GIBBS: McGee! MCGEE: (ON MONITOR) Two hundred, sixty four hotel rooms, twenty two utility rooms. GIBBS: They haven't checked in because they can't. SHEPARD: They're at the meet right now? GIBBS: They removed their earwigs and they dumped their comm when it was changed to the hotel. FORNELL: We go room by room. My people seal off the exterior... SHEPARD: No! We wait. FORNELL: What for? SHEPARD: For Ziva to contact us. We move now, we blow their cover, Fornell. FORNELL: And if their cover is already blown, Director? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY (SFX: HENRY SMASHES THE EAR PIECE) MARCOS: There are two things you should be painfully aware of right now. One, no one leaves this business. And two, never threaten the people who employ you. TONY: Should I be writing this down? (SFX: CORD HITS TONY) TONY: I take that as a no. MARCOS: Where is the disk? ZIVA: What disk? (SFX: CORD HITS TONY) MARCOS: Where, Mrs. Ranier? ZIVA: What makes you think we have it? MARCOS: We spotted your backup at the restaurant. On some level, you must have known this was going to happen. ZIVA: Oh. Observant. How much is our disk worth to you? (SFX: CORD HITS TONY) MARCOS: I have a better question. What's it worth to you? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY ABBY: It's bad news. It's very, very bad. Remember when we missed grabbing the guy in the restaurant? GIBBS: Mm-hmm. ABBY: Well, Tony said he didn't see anything. But the eye sees more than we think it does. It's the brain that misses stuff. It has to do with the firing of the optic nerve and the visual cortex's... GIBBS: You found something from Tony's camera. ABBY: Well, I went to the feed frame by frame. Now, Tony is looking at the pay phone because that's where he thinks the target is. But a camera doesn't think. It just records. So when he runs past the kitchen door of the restaurant, he got... this. GIBBS: Our bad guy. Run it. I want a name. ABBY: I do. I did. Marcos Ceasan. He's a contract assassin, Gibbs. He's wanted in more than five countries. It doesn't make any sense. Why would a killer hire other killers to do a hit for him? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY MARCOS: Out of professional courtesy, I've had Mister Cord go lightly on your husband. TONY: And I appreciate that. MARCOS: Unfortunately we're running out of time. ZIVA: If you let him go, I'll tell you where the disk is. MARCOS: You'll tell me either way, Mrs. Ranier. Why don't you two take a moment and consider your options? (MEN WALK O.S.) TONY: I might have a plan. ZIVA: What? TONY: The Raniers obviously stole something they want. You're going to give it to them. ZIVA: We don't have it. TONY: You're going to tell them it's in our hotel room. The only way they'll find it is if you show them. McGee should be waiting for us in there. ZIVA: Good plan, except for one minor drawback. TONY: What? ZIVA: When I leave, they'll most likely put a bullet through your head. TONY: Oh. Well, I didn't say it was a perfect plan. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY DUCKY: Two centimeters below the supra orbital notch. What do you make of it, Mister Palmer? I originally assumed it was a spec of dirt on the exposure. JIMMY: It appears to be a heart? DUCKY: Yes. (CHUCKLES) A strange place to find one. Don't you agree? It appears to be gold surgically embedded in the conjunctive layer. Perhaps some type of body jewelry. JIMMY: Jewelry embedded in an eye. DUCKY: Oh, yes. You'd be amazed what people do to themselves. To Abby, please. JIMMY: You know, I doubt anyone would notice your little gold heart unless they knew it was there. Staring into your eyes, face to face... like a lover. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY ABBY: I found a chip in it. CHIP: Flash memory embedded underneath, Sir. Five hundred megabyte capacity. Fifty MPS throughout. ABBY: Translation, it contains the Raniers' personal data in two files. One has a list of numbered bank accounts, a deed for a restaurant, a house in Gilead, Maine. CHIP: We also ran the address. The phone service and cable are scheduled to be turned on next week, Sir. FORNELL: Sounds like a retirement plan. GIBBS: She was pregnant. They were getting out of the business. What about the other file? ABBY: It has a list of their clients: their names, addresses, phone numbers, all their information. Everything. FORNELL: Insurance policy? GIBBS: Their ticket out. FORNELL: They weren't hired to make a hit, Gibbs. GIBBS: They are the hit. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MARCOS' ROOM - DAY MARCOS: Did you know the Peruvians make blades so sharp, some people can't even feel the initial incision? TONY: Stop! The disk's in our hotel room. ZIVA: Don't! He'll only use it... MARCOS: Where? TONY: She has to show you. MARCOS: Not what I asked. TONY: You'll never find it without her, even if you kill us. MARCOS: Untie her. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HALLWAY - DAY (PHONE RINGS) HENRY: (INTO PHONE) I'm in position. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MARCOS' ROOM - DAY MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Clear the room. I'm on my way up with the girl. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HALLWAY - DAY HENRY: (INTO PHONE) My pleasure. (DOOR OPENS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY (DOOR OPENS) (MUSIC OVER ACTION) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MARCOS' ROOM - DAY MARCOS: Your only mistake was going for one last big payday. You got greedy. ZIVA: I'm pregnant. MARCOS: Really? Congratulations. Boy or girl? ZIVA: I don't know. We want to be surprised. MARCOS: It's the best way, believe me. How many months? TONY: Three! MARCOS: Morning sickness? TONY: Only every single day. MARCOS: I hated to see my wife go through it, but believe me, it's all worth it in the end. ZIVA: So you're not going to kill us? MARCOS: We're assassins. You know we can't just walk away from the game when we feel like it. Hell, Don't you think I'd rather be at my daughter's fifth birthday than here? TONY: So you are going to kill us? Right? MARCOS: I haven't decided yet. Give me the disk and we'll see, play it by ear. (TO CORD) If I'm not back in five minutes, kill him. (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) CORD: That was purely for your wife's cooperation. We like to call them little white lies. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HALLWAY - DAY MARCOS: Open it. (DOOR OPENS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT MARCOS: I hope you weren't counting on your backup, Mrs. Ranier. ZIVA: He's not my back up. (SFX: GIBBS HITS MARCOS) GIBBS: Tony? ZIVA: Third floor, room three five six. FORNELL: (INTO RADIO) All teams, third floor, room three five six. (V.O.) Federal agent in distress. (VOICE: (V.O./FILTERED) Copy. We're moving.) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MARCOS' HOTEL ROOM - DAY TONY: You know what's funny? I was really looking forward to having a kid there for a minute. That's a big step for me. Having a little DiNozzo running around. CORD: DiNozzo? TONY: Yeah, that's my full name. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS. (MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY FIGHTS CORD) (SFX: CHAIR BREAKS) TONY: How does that feel? Huh? Huh, big guy?(SFX: TONY CONTINUES BEATING CORD) ZIVA: Enough! TONY: You want to punch me again?! Come on! ZIVA: Enough enough, Tony. I think you made your point. TONY: I want a divorce. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY DUCKY: The emergency room seems to have done a pretty good job. How do you feel? TONY: Better, now that I can breath. DUCKY: There doesn't appear to be any permanent damage. How many times did he hit you? TONY: I wasn't counting. ZIVA: Seven times. TONY: She was, of course. ZIVA: It was hard not to. ABBY: We're going to take really good care of you, Tony. I had Chip pull your car right around front. TONY: He drove my car? CHIP: Just from your parking space. I took extra special care. TONY: Oh, thanks. ZIVA: And uh... I'm driving you home. TONY: Probie... MCGEE: Uh Ziva, actually you shouldn't probably drive him home tonight. ZIVA: Why's that? ABBY: Maybe he wants to live. DUCKY: Yes, well however you get home, I suggest a couple of aspirin... yes, and perhaps some scotch. GIBBS: I thought doctors weren't supposed to prescribe alcohol anymore, Duck. DUCKY: Well, it always seems to work for you. GIBBS: Did you get tickets to that gazelle thing again? DUCKY: It's Giselle, Jethro. And no, that's not tonight. Marine Corps Birthday Ball. She didn't tell you? (MUSIC OVER ACTION/SHEPARD WALKS DOWN THE STAIRS) DUCKY: Our lovely Director has asked me to escort her. TONY: All right, good night, Boss. All right, I'm good.(TONY STUMBLES) ABBY: Hey Gibbs, happy birthday. (MUSIC OVER ACTION) GIBBS: I miss you guys. Semper fi. (MUSIC UP AND OUT)	Plan: A: the United States Marine Corps birthday ball; Q: Where were the assassins planning to kill? A: Gibbs; Q: Who sent Ziva and Tony to pose as the assassins? A: the married assassins; Q: Who were the real targets? A: the team; Q: Who finds out that the assassins were expecting a baby? A: the assassination plot; Q: What could have been a set-up? A: an attraction; Q: What is the relationship between Tony and Ziva? A: a surprise; Q: What does Gibbs and his team get when they find out who has been spying on Tony and Ziva? Summary: When it is discovered that two married assassins, who were fatally wounded in a car crash, were planning an assassination at the United States Marine Corps birthday ball , Gibbs sends Ziva and Tony to pose as the married assassins in order to find out who the couple had planned to assassinate and who had hired them. After the team finds out that the couple were expecting a baby and might have been planning to retire, they realize that the assassination plot could have been a set-up and that the married assassins were potentially the real targets. Meanwhile, an attraction between Tony and Ziva surfaces and Gibbs and his team get a surprise when they find out who has been spying on Tony and Ziva.
Jason Sands' Residence, San Francisco, CA Lisbon: Mind running it for us Inspector? Inspector: Not sure why you're called in. We can handle it. Place belongs to Jason Sands. The guy's a political contributor. He's been missing since last night. Lisbon: That's why we're here. Attorney general likes to stand top this kind of things. Inspector: Mr. Sands' wife Jennifer arrived home last night With their daughter at about 9 o'clock. She found her husband gone. And this... They enter an untidy office Inspector: Thanks, guys. There has been no ransom demand yet. But I expect we would get some very soon. If you want to take this guy's laptops I can let them know. Lisbon: That's ok. We can handle that. Do you know where his family is? Inspector: Uh...With friends. Mrs. Sands thought it would be best for the little girl and we agreed. Rigsby: Any sign of force entry? Inspector: No, must be a front door job. Someone imposing as his courier or whatever. Jane looks around a little Jane: He's still here. Inspector (laughing): Unless he's invisible. He's not, agent Jane. Lisbon: He's not an agent. He's a consultant. Jane: No badge. No gun. They don't even give me dental. Inspector: Oh, yeah. You're the one they were telling me about-the psychic. Sorry, Gandalf. In our own bumbling way, we did look around pretty good. He's not here. Jane: He's here, and there's no such thing as psychics. He was tortured in this chair... To give them a pass code... Inspector: Pass code to what? Jane: Could you humor me, inspector? Could you try and pick up that sheet of paper? Inspector: All right. Jane: Thanks. That's-that's it. She tries to pick up the paper but it is caught under the bookcase and tears. Inspector: Well, the bookcase must have moved. Lisbon: After these papers were spread all over the floor? Rigsby: It's a door. To a safe? Lisbon: Or a safe room. Jane: Yes. The intruder must have been distracted by something, Left Sands alone for a moment, Sands punches in the code, and before they can stop him, goes into the safe room and shuts the door behind him. Lisbon: Which will open if you press the buttons a lot. Jane (He laughing): I'm entering the top ten pass code Choices. Rigsby: But if it is a safe room, wouldn't it have a silent alarm connected to a security company? Jane: Not if you're the paranoid, secretive type. You make a safe room only you know about. Inspector: I guess we need a locksmith. Jane: Hang on a minute. (He singing) "Farewell and adieu to you, fair spanish maidens. Farewell and adieu to you, ladies of spain. For we've received orders. For to sail back to Boston" He enters a combination, the door opens Jane: "And so never more shall we see you... Again" They discover Mr. Sands' body. The team is in Mr. Sands' room. Rigsby: I look around. I don't see anyone here who could torture a man to death with pliers and a lit cigar. Jane: Picture them naked and ravenously hungry. Van Pelt: Ew! Cho: You know, strictly speaking, he wasn't tortured to death. Rigsby: He bled to death on his own in his little hidey-hole there. Kind of has himself to blame then, huh? Cho: Mm, kind of. Jane: How does the widow check out? Lisbon: The night of the murder, she and her daughter were at a concert- "Peter & the wolf." Cho: She have stubs? Rigsby: Yep. Jane: Who's the suit hovering around her? Lisbon: That's Michael Claymore Bennett Iii, Sands' lawyer. What about him? Jane: The widow's scared of him or... Lisbon: Or? Jane: Or, uh, he's reassuring her of something else that she's scared of. Cho: Which is it? Jane: I don't know. Could be both. Lisbon: Well, we can't question 'em here. (To Van Pelt) Let's go get started on Sands' computer files. You guys stay here till this thing's over. Rigsby: Yes, boss. Lisbon: You never know. Somebody might confess. They leave. Rigsby watches Van Pelt walking Rigsby: Van Pelt, you're killing me. Jane: Can I ask you a personal question? Rigsby: Nope. Jane: Have you told her how you feel? Rigsby: She's a co-worker. It's against the rules. That's how I feel. Jane: That's not how you feel. Rigsby: I sent out the vibes. I got nothing back, okay? So I'm leaving them alone. Jane: Vibes. Really? Vibes? Cho: That's where he stares at the back of her neck For several hours. Women love that. Rigsby: Oh, shut up, Cho. Jane: You gotta go get her, man. You gotta seduce her. Rigsby: Yeah, well, seduction's not my strong point. Jane: Pfft. Man, seduction's easy once you know the basic principles. Rigsby: There's nothing to it. Oh, really? Well, I don't see a crowd of women following you around. Jane: Why would I want a crowd of women following me around? Rigsby: Okay. I'll bite. What's the basic principle? Jane: Cost you a dollar. Rigsby: For what? Jane: So you pay attention. Rigsby gives a dollar Jane: Love and affection. Rigsby: What? Jane: Love and affection. Rigsby: Give me my dollar back. Jane: When you're seducing someone, what are you offering them? Love and affection. Who doesn't want love and affection? It's that simple. Rigsby: Seriously, give me my dollar back. Jane: Let me demonstrate. I will bet you 100 more of these dollars that I can seduce any woman here. Rigsby: Okay. The widow. Jane leaves Rigsby: Wait a minute. What are you- j-j-jane! Cho: Good job. Jane moves closer to the widow Jane: Hello, sweetheart. Mrs. Sands, my name is Patrick Jane, CBI (He takes her hands). I'm sorry for your loss. Up close, you're really very beautiful. Jennifer: That's... Totally inappropriate and- Jane: Listen to me, Jennifer. I don't know what kind of hold this man has over you... Bennett: Excuse me. Jane: Back up now. He backs up Jane: And I'm not exactly sure what kind of trouble you're in, but I'm confident that I can help you. Call me, and I'll come. Man (with Breathe): Excuse me, sir. You have to leave. Cho and Rigsby arrive running Cho: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rigsby: Hey. No problem. Cho: Sorry. Sorry about that. Come on. Come on. I'm so sorry. The widow looks troubled. They move away. Rigsby: Looks like you owe me 100 bucks. Jane: Early days, Rigsby. Early days. CBI HQ Sacramento Minelli: I'm disappointed. I-i'm-i'm very disappointed, and I'm embarrassed. How could you do this to me? I told the mayor of San Francisco that I was putting my best people on this. (He wants takes coffee) Oh! Holy mother! Who takes off the freakin' labels? I mean, what is that? Is this-is this real or is that decaf? I mean, how am I supposed to know which is which? Jane: Mix 'em both half and half and drink twice as much. Lisbon laughs Minelli: What kind of idiot drinks decaf anyway? What is the point? And what were you thinking, leaving this man alone at an event like that? Lisbon: No excuses. I mistakenly treated him as a responsible adult. Jane: I do have a plan. Minelli: Which is? Jane: Uh, first win the widow's confidence- Minelli: Aside from her lawyer making an official complaint at the attorney general, how is that going for you? Jane: She's playing hard to get. Minelli: Jane, you close cases. You-you close like a fiend, so I tolerate you, and i-and I protect you. And I let you make Lisbon's life a misery. But th-there is a line. There is a line, and when you cross it, I will protect myself and this unit, and I will throw you to the wolves. Jane: Okay. Minelli: As long as we're clear. Mineli's cellphone ringing. Lisbon leaves Minelli: (To Lisbon) Hey (He picks up) Mm. Yes? (He hangs back up) t's the a.G.'s office. Um, mrs. Sands is willing to drop the matter If Jane will apologize to her. Jane: Great. I'll make the call. Minelli: She wants to hear it in person, at her house. In Sands' residence, Jane waits in the hall. Jessica's daughter, Julie, laughing and hiding. Julie: Do you want to see my trolls? Jane: I'd love to. They enter her bedroom Julie: This one's a boy. His name is Woody Sands. She beckons Julie: Yeah. Come. Jane: You have a very nice room. Julie: Thank you. My daddy made it for me. This one's a girl. Her name is Wanda Sands. This one's a girl, too. Her name is- Jane: Whoa. Whoa. I bet I can guess her name. Warren Moon. Julie: No. (She laughing) Jane: Wiley post? Julie: No. (She laughing) Jane: Wendy Sands. Julie: Yes. Jennifer arrives Jane (To Julie): Bye. Julie: Bye. They are on the terrace. She gives him tea. Jane: Thank you. Jennifer: Are you married, mr. Jane? Jane: Was. She's dead. Jennifer: Oh, I'm sorry. What happened? Jane: It doesn't matter. Jennifer: You have a very strange way about you, mr. Jane. Jane: Do i? Jennifer: After the memorial service, I don't know why I simply don't have you fired. Are you usually so forthright? Jane: What's on your mind, mrs. Sands? Why am I here? Jennifer: You know why. I want an apology. Jane: No, you don't. Jennifer: You told me If I was ever to need your help, I should call you. Jane: Yes. And here I am. Jennifer: You were right. Bennett did upset me at the service. He told me the truth about Jason. Jane: Which is? Jennifer: His investment business was a sham, went broke ages ago. Our bank accounts are empty. He left me and Julie with nothing but massive debts, penniless. We're gonna have to sell the house and-and-and-and everything else we own. Jane: I'm so sorry. Jennifer: The i.R.S. And the s.E.C. And I don't know who else were investigating him for fraud. Jane: He told you nothing? Jennifer: Nothing. Nothing. Turns out our-our marriage was a lie. Our-our whole life together was a lie. Jane: Perhaps he was ashamed in his failure. Jennfier: No. Ashamed? Jason? No. I always knew he had a-a secretive, mistrustful side, but this? Jane: Every couple has secrets. Jennifer: There are rooms in this house I didn't even know were there. Jane: Mrs. Sands, you asked me... To help you. Jennifer: Yes. Jane: How can I do that? Jennifer: If I know Jason, he-he- there's something left. He would have hid a nest egg somewhere. Don't you think it's possible? Jane: Whoever killed him certainly thought so. Somebody knocks at the door Man: Sheriff's department. Jennifer: What is this? Who are you? Man: Asset seizure. No trouble. Start upstairs, boys. Jane: CBI. Department of justice. Hang on a second. Yeah, this is in order, but, uh, where's your lethal toxins immunization papers? Man: Excuse me? Jane: Did they not tell you the score here? Did you get your shots? Man: Shots? What are you talking about? Jane: Shots. There was a murder here. Man: Yeah, I know. Jane: (To a widow)Excuse me a minute. (To men) Suspected poisoning. Anthrax. Man: Come on. Let's, uh, let's go, guys. Jane: Get your shots. We'll talk. Man: Shots. Yeah. They go to CBI Lisbon: Looks like Sands was bust all right. He used to be huge, but he made some really bad calls in i.T. Over the past five years, his business has dwindled down to almost nothing. No clients. No income. There were indictments and injunctions and the whole nightmare coming, just down the road. Cho: The strange thing is, until a couple of weeks ago, there was $10 million in his personal accounts in cash and bonds and stocks, most of it deposited over the last year. Rigsby: His business is dead for years. Where do you get $10 million from? Van Pelt: More importantly, where is it now? Cho: That's what his killers wanted to know. Hey. Are you sure the widow doesn't know where it is? Jane: No, she's genuinely broke and genuinely scared Lisbon: You're not soft on her, are you? Jane: No. Maybe a little. We need to talk to the lawyer. What's his- Lisbon: Bennett? We need to talk to him. You need to stay well away. Did you say maybe a little? Jane: She's a gorgeous, grieving widow. Of course maybe a little. Don't worry. It's not going to affect my work. I'm a law enforcement professional. Jeez. (He whistles) Cho regard to Van Pelt and they laugh Lisbon: My sincere apologies for our operative Jane, by the way. Unconscionable. Supervising agent Minelli gave him a severe reprimand. Bennett: Well, think nothing of it. I can't tell you how sad I am about all this. How can I help? Jane: I'll try and be brief. You were Sands' lawyer. You had to have known he was in ruinous debt. Bennett: Yeah, I knew there were difficulties, but I had no idea how deep he was in it. I don't deal in his business affairs. I'm his family lawyer, so I look after his personal financial matters, which until recently, were in pretty good shape. Lisbon: Yeah, two weeks ago, he converted a $10 million pension account into cash. It's pretty much all he had. Lisbon talks to Bennett Bennett: Which is his right. I learned about it after the fact from his accountants. It's a huge withdrawal, but, uh, of course, I figured he had much more in reserve. Lisbon: Did you ask him what he was doing with the money? Bennett: I did. He told me he needed it to surprise his wife. Lisbon: He did that all right. Bennett (He laugh): I believed him. Lisbon: What do you believe now? Bennett: I think he was looking at jail time. I think he grabbed as much cash as he could, and he was gonna run away. Lisbon: Thanks for your help, counselor. We'll be in touch Bennett: Okay. Whatever you need, I'm at your service. In the CBI Van Pelt: Hey. We found out where that money was coming from. Sands owns an office supply company that supplies this Happy Landings Entertainment with copy paper. Over the last 2 years, $55.2 million worth. Lisbon: Who owns Happy Landings Entertainment? Van Pelt: It's a shell company hidden in a swiss trust wrapped in a dummy corporation. It'll take a while to untangle. But Sands' company? It's the only one of his businesses under a separate corporate address. Lisbon: In Sausalito? Van Pelt: Odd, huh? Lisbon: Nice work. Van Pelt: Are we gonna have a look? Lisbon: We are. You're gonna stay here and keep digging. Who owns Happy Landings Entertainment? Sausalito, the port Cho: Huh. Doesn't look like a copy paper business, does it? Jane: Uh, no. Lisbon: This is it. You coming aboard? Jane: Why not? Cho: If Sands lied about this, what else did he cover up? They go in the boat Lisbon: The place is trashed. They take guns out Jane: I'm-i'm just gonna wait on-on the jetty. He turns round and a woman points a gun at him Woman: Who are you? Jane: Patrick Jane, CBI. Don't shoot. Woman: What's that, CBI? Lisbon: Police. Lay the gun down. Woman: Show me the badge. Cho: Put the gun down! Lisbon show his badge Woman: Okay, police. I make no trouble. No problem. Jane: Who'd you think we were? Woman: Nobody. Lisbon: Who are you? What are you looking for? Woman: This is my boat. I can do what I like Lisbon: Yeah, it's very nice, very put together. This boat belongs to Jason Sands. Woman: Yes. And Jason Sands is my fiance. CBI, interrogation room Van Pelt: Adrianna, we can charge you right now with burglary, Vandalism, assault with a deadly weapon. That's 10 to 15 right there. Wouldn't you rather talk to us about your situation? Adrianna: From you, I buy cookies I don't talk about situation. Van Pelt: Listen. We have enough- Lisbon sends Van Pelt to get a coffee. Jane sits in her chair Adrianna: The handsome one. Gay, yes? He laughs Lisbon: This is a murder investigation. You've got no alibi for the time frame in question. We're looking at you as a suspect. You should take this a little more seriously. Adrianna: You know, when I was this big, (She show with her hands) I was in a detention camp for two years. You understand? Lisbon: I understand. Adrianna: No, you don't. That was serious. This-no. Lisbon: What do you do for a living? Adrianna: I dance, model, acting. Lisbon: Is that a good living? Adrianna: What's good? Jane: How long were you and Jason Sands lovers? Adrianna: Two years. We were- we were more than lovers. We were engaged to be married. Jane: He was already married. Adrianna: No, he was divorcing her. Lisbon: She doesn't know that. Adrianna: Oh, sure, she does. Why would she tell you? It's embarrassing. He doesn't want her anymore. It is embarrassing. Jane: What were you looking for? Adrianna: And we loved each other. Lisbon: You loved each other. We hear that. What were you looking for on the boat? Adrianna: Jason bought $10 million of diamonds for when we would run away. I was looking for them. Jane: When did he buy them? Adrianna: A month ago. Once he showed me them. They are beautiful. (She laughes) And then he hid them somewhere. I don't know where. Lisbon: You were gonna run away? Adrianna: Jason knew that it was the end of the road here. He was going to jail or going to get killed, so we make a plan. We are going, to, uh, run away in the sailboat. Lisbon: You and him on a sailboat. Adrianna: No, he was a good sailor. He teach me. If, um, those bastards didn't kill him, maybe me and him and Julie would be in Tahiti, rich, instead of here with you. Jane: Y-you were gonna take Julie? Lisbon: What bastards. You know who killed him? Adrianna: Yeah, sure , I know Jane: Tell us Adrianna: If I tell you, I leave here now. You drop this burglary stupidness. I don't testify. Nothing. I give you names. That's it. Lisbon: Deal. Adrianna: These, um, scum pigs run nightclubs. Jason cleans their, uh, drug and, um, girl money for them. It's this money he uses to buy the diamonds. Lisbon: Did they have a company called Happy Landings Entertainment out of Oakland? Adrianna: I don't know. They live in Oakland. Lisbon: These people have names? Adrianna: Dieter Webb and Carter Lewis. Scum pigs. Jane: Scum pigs. End of interrogation [SCENE_BREAK] Cho: Dieter and Carter- started out as college deejays. Nightlife impresarios is what they say they are. They own clubs, restaurants, boutique hotels up and down the west coast. Drugs and prostitution started as a natural sideline, then became their core business. Lisbon: Did we find 'em? Cho: These guys like to glide under the radar. According to official records, they own no property and live nowhere. Their only address is a p.O. Box. Working with San Francisco and Oakland P.D. As we speak. Rigsby: You're letting her go Lisbon: She gave us Dieter and Carter. I could charge her with waving a gun at Jane, but what for? Rigsby: I don't know, boss. If ever I saw a woman who could use pliers and a lit cigar on a man, that's her. Jane: Miss Jonovic, a moment Lisbon: Jane, tell her not to leave town. He leaves Jane: You said you and Jason were planning on leaving with Julie. Adrianna: Yes. Jane: You didn't mind taking the kid? Adrianna: No. I love Julie. Me and her are good friends. Jane: You were gonna take her away from her own mother? Adrianna: Yes. Jane: Oh, that seems a cruel thing to do. Depends. She is a cold person-Jennifer. She doesn't care so much about Julie. She pretends, but she doesn't really. Tell me something. Do you think, uh, Jennifer has my diamonds? Jane: I don't know. Maybe. Adrianna: Maybe? Did you ask her? He gets ready to leave Jane: Don't leave town. Adrianna: As you like. Jane returns with the team Rigsby: So love and affection, huh? Jane: That's it. Rigsby: Where you going? Jane: To speak to the widow. Lisbon: Oh, yeah? Jane: I want to know if she knows about the mistress. Sands' Residence Jennifer: Do you have children, Patrick? Jane: No. Jennifer: They are the greatest gift. Jane: Yes, they are. Put a little bit of ginger in it. Hey, it's been bothering the hell of out of me. "Peter & the wolf"- Is the duck a flute or a bassoon? I cannot remember. Jennifer: Oh, um, a-a bassoon, I think. Jane: Never mind. Trivia. Listen, I have good news, and I have bad news. In CBI Cho: Dieter Webb's grandmother is 93 and lives in a seniors' assisted living center in Tucson, has for a decade, but she- Lisbon: Let me guess. She's leasing a high-end vehicle and recently bought a nice house in oakland. Cho: You're good. Lisbon: Get Rigsby and Van Pelt on it. Sands' Residence Jennifer: $10 million? Jane: Yes, just as you suspected, a very healthy nest egg. Jennifer: Oh, that's wonderful. We have to find it. Jane: Wouldn't be a bad idea. Jennifer: Where should we start? Jane: I don't know. Jennifer: You found the safe room in a moment. You must be terribly clever at that kind of thing, finding things. Jane: I could try. But, Jennifer, that was the good news. Jennifer: Okay. Bad news? Jane: We talked to a woman who appears to have been Jason's mistress. Jennifer: I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Jane: I'm sorry. You didn't know about her? Jennifer: No. What's she like? H-how old is she? Jane: Mid '20s, eastern european, tough. Jennifer: Good-looking? Jane: Not bad. Jennifer: Does she have the money? Jane: Strong possibility. Jennifer: Life is so complicated. Patrick? Will you hold me? I need someone to hold me. Please. Jane: I'm sorry, Jennifer. I wish I could. She leaves. Oakland, Van Pelt and Rigsby watch the owner of night club's house. Rigsby: Where's the entry team? They were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago. Van Pelt: Relax. Guys like these probably aren't even out of bed yet. Rigsby: Could be up from the night before maybe went out for some breakfast. Van Pelt: We can deal with 'em. Rigsby: Suddenly she's Steve McQueen. (She laughes) Owner comes out of the house Rigsby: They're on the move. Van Pelt: Come on. Let's take 'em. They get in the car. Rigsby moves Rigsby: Police! Get out of the car! Van Pelt: Hands up! Rigsby: Get out of the car! Van Pelt: Get out! Carter: Whoa, whoa. Rigsby: Take it easy, man. Come on. Nice and easy. Up against the car. Up against the car. Rigsby is disracted by a women and her children. Dieter runs away Rigsby: Freeze! Van Pelt (To Carter) : Hands behind your head. Rigsby runs after Dieter. He tries to climb a gate but Rigsby stops him Rigsby: Hands. Give me your hands! Let's go. A little girl makes a sign to Van Pelt: Van Pelt (To the girl): Hi. (To Carter) Let's go. Let's go. In CBI, interrogation room. Behind colored window, Jane, Lisbon and Minelli. Cho: You don't want to talk to me, Dieter? Dieter: I've got nothing to say. Call my lawyer. Cho: What do you know about Jason Sands? Dieter: I know he's dead. Cho: How much did he take from you? Dieter: How much what? Cho: We estimate he stole around $10 million from you. Is that about right? Dieter: Me and my partner, we host parties. I'm doing good, but not that good. $10 million. Jason didn't steal anything from me. Cho: You and Carter broke into his house, and you tortured him to death because he stole from you. Dieter: Look, dude, I know people that know how to do that stuff. You know what I'm saying? If it was us that tortured him, we'd have the money right now, and he'd have his life. I wouldn't kill him. Cho: What money? Dieter: Oh, (he laughes) you caught me there. The imaginary money you said he stole from us. Somebody got there before us. Cho: An imaginary somebody. Dieter: You want my opinion? Now this isn't snitching. It's just an opinion. Write this down. Adrianna Jonovic. She's a crazy armenian dancer that Jason was tapping. Cho: Why? Dieter: She's a mercenary bitch. She made Jason's life misery and made him like it. She used to work for us, so I know whereof I speak. You should check her out. Behind the window Lisbon: The other one, Lewis, has the same line. They leave Lisbon: There were class "a" drugs all over his house, so we can hold him as long as it takes. Minelli: And Jonovic? Lisbon: I think she's clean on this one, but we can bring her back in just to be safe. Jane's cellphone is ringing Minelli: Well, don't let up on 'em. We need a result here. Jane: (To Lisbon)Mrs. Sands. (He pick up) Oh. Jennifer: Patrick, she's gone. She's gone. Th-they-they took her! My baby is gone! Jane: It's okay. It's okay. W-we'll be right there. In the bed, there is a paper: "You know that we want: Not call police and wait our call." Sands' Residence Van Pelt: So you think the guys from Oakland are behind this? Rigsby: Just 'cause they're in custody doesn't mean they couldn't have arrananged this. Jennifer: You said the men my husband stole from are behind bars. Lisbon: They are. Jennifer: Then if they didn't do this, who did? Lisbon: I assure you we're doing everything we can to find Julie. The note left said you knew what they wanted. Jennifer: The money, obviously. We have to find the money. I have to give them what they want. Inspector: Why would they think you have it? Jennifer: I don't-i-i don't know. You have to find my baby. Lisbon: We're trying, Mrs. Sands. CBI is working in conjunction with federal agents Jennifer: Look, I don't care about any of that. (To Patrick) Look, you have to find my little girl. Please. Interrogation Room Dieter: What are you talking about, steal a kid? I've been locked up in this place. Cho: You have friends, remember? Dieter: So you think that I'd be ass enough to hire somebody to do it while I'm in here? CBI, the team and Jennifer Sands are at the meeting table Lisbon: Dieter has a point. He and Carter are bad guys, but they're not mafia. They don't have that kind of reach. Rigsby: Or those kind of stones. Van Pelt: We're up. The kidnappers just i.M.'ed Jennifer's cell phone. Jane: Say yes. Say yes and tell 'em I'll bring it to them. Lisbon: What? No. Jane: It's okay. I know where the money is, honestly. Say yes. Jane waits in the car and talks with the CBI Jane: Still awake? Lisbon: Wide. Jane, be careful. Don't try and get them to say anything or stop them. All we need is their phone. Cho: Just sent us the number. We'll track the kidnapper's address. Jane: Oh, here comes someone. Lisbon: Jane, just do your mind games and get out of there, okay? Jane: Don't worry, mom. A woman enters the car. It's Adrianna, she has gun Adrianna: This better not be a trap. I will kill you. Give me the diamonds. Jane: Oh, Adrianna, you're going down the wrong road. Kidnapping is- Adrianna: I'm not a kidnapper. You think I want to do this? I have to do this. I don't want Julie to die. Jane: Tell me what's going on. I can-i can help you. Adrianna: I don't know you. I don't trust you. Just give me the diamonds. Jane: Okay. Where's Julie? Adrianna: I call a number, tell them I have the diamonds, they give Julie. Jane: (He takes water and drink) Call them. Adrianna: How do I know those are real diamonds? Jane: They look real to me. Here. (He show the diamonds) Why don't you have a look? You've seen them before. Here. (He gives the diamonds at her and her gives the cellphone. She wants looks the diamonds but the gun is annoying . She try gives his at Jane) Oh, I'm sorry. (He takes gun and he gives the water) It's okay. Lisbon: Scan's working. No, this-this... This is not the diamonds. Jane: No, plastic. (To CBI) Forwarding the last number dialed. She tries to take the phone Jane: Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Adrianna: You son of a whore. Cho: Signal on that phone is coming from an apartment building in the Presidio. All units move in. Adrianna: They will kill Julie now. Jane: Who is "they"? Adrianna: I don't know. They call me. They send pictures to my phone of-of Julie tied up. They say I must give them Jason's money, or she dies. I don't have Jason's money. Jane: Did they ask for Jason's money or did they ask for diamonds? Adrianna: For money. Jane: Then they're not gonna hurt Julie If you're telling me the truth. Adrianna: No if. I am telling the truth. Cho, Van Pelt, Rigsby and Adrianna are at the kidnapper's house. Adrianna knocks at the door. Somebody opens Rigsby: Get back. Van Pelt: Police! Rigsby: Police! Cho: Freeze! Rigsby: Drop the weapon! Drop the gun! Cho: Drop it right now! Van Pelt:: Put down the weapon! Everybody: Drop the weapon! Julie arrives Van Pelt: Watch the kid! Somebody shoots To Hospital Minelli: So far what I know is you guys shot and grievously wounded a prominent and a very well-liked member of the San Francisco bar. What's going on? In simple, declarative sentences. Lisbon: Bennett's our man. He killed Jason Sands for $10 million in diamonds, kidnapped Julie Sands for the same reason. Either the widow or the mistress acted as his accomplice. Minelli: Which one? Jane: We're trying to nail that down now. If Bennett makes it, he could tell us, but it doesn't look like he will, so we're gonna need a confession from his accomplice. So, um... Minelli: What? Lisbon: Jane has an idea. But if we generate any complaints as to how we go about this, you've got our backs, right? Minelli: Well, that depends. Obviously, we need a win here. But i-i won't sanction anything underhanded or actionable. Lisbon: That's kind of vague. Minelli: The whole point of this unit is-is subtly and discretion and judgment. I expect you to do what's right without dragging me into it. Lisbon: Really? Minelli: Yes, yes, Lisbon. Of course. If I'm forced to it, I have your back. I'm insulted you need to ask. In the hall, Adrianna, Cho and Van Pel wait. Jennifer arrives Jennifer: Where is she? Where is she? Is she okay? Van Pelt: Yes. She's a little in shock, but physically she's fine. Not a scratch. Doctors just want to make sure. Jennifer: Mm. Adrianna: Hello, Jennifer. Jennifer: Adrianna? This is a surprise. (To Van Pelt) What's she doing here? Shouldn't she be in jail? Van Pelt: Uh, out on bond, ma'am. Jennifer: So quickly? Adrianna: I screw better lawyers than you. Jennifer: You've obviously led a very sad and difficult life to be so twisted. Truly, Adrianna, you have my sympathy. Adrianna: You stupid cow... Van Pelt: Cho, let's move. Cho: Oh, hey. What was that name again? Van Pelt: What name? Cho: The one that Jane thought was so important. Van Pelt: Wendy. Cho: Right, Wendy. Do either of you know a woman named Wendy? No. Cho: No? Shame. She'd be worth knowing. (He laughes) Van Pelt: Cho. Cho: What? Van Pelt: Excuse his levity, ma'am. Adrianna: This Wendy person- she has the diamonds? Van Pelt: It's a possibility. Jennifer: Diamonds? Van Pelt: By the way, your friend Mr. Bennett is coming along nicely. I expect we'll be talking to him shortly. So if there's anything you want to pass along... Adrianna: But this other police said that he was a dead man Jennifer: Yeah, they said he was dying. Van Pelt: No. No, he'll live. They leave Lisbon: How'd it go? Van Pelt: I think we sold it. Cho: Are you kidding? We killed. Van Pelt: Yeah. They clap hands Rigsby: Well, Jane says give it a moment, let it play itself out. Rigsby goes to the hall but there is nobody Rigsby (He takes his phone): It's empty. They're both gone. Lisbon: Really? Both? (She call Jane) Jane, nobody's there. Come on. She and Cho go to Julie's bedroom. Adrianna is there. Adrianna: It's okay, baby. Everything going to be good now. Everything's good. Hmm? Julie: Where have you been? Sand's residence, Jennifer running. She goes to her daughter's bedroom. She searches in Julie's toybox Jennifer: Damn! Damn! Damn! Jane: What are you looking for? Jennifer: You know what I'm looking for. Jane: I'm pretty certain Wendy Sands had purple hair. You may want to call a lawyer now. Jennifer: Why? What for? Jane: Don't make this difficult, Jennifer. Bennett told us everything. Jennifer: Nicely done. You made me think Adrianna had the money, and you made her think I had the money. Clever. Jane: Thank you. Coming from a fine actress like yourself, I'm... I'm flattered. Jennifer: Is it really in diamonds, or is that just part of the trick? Jane: No trick. Diamonds. Do you know where? Jennifer: I do. Tell me. Jane: Tell me what happened, and I'll tell you where they are. Jennifer: This whole time, you were just playing me. Jane: Not the whole time. Jennifer: That's so sad. I... Thought we had a real connection. Jane: We did. Jennifer: We can again. Jane: No, we can't. Jennifer: You know, i... I never meant for this to happen. Jane: I know. Jennifer: It was Bennett. He forced me into this. He-he planned the whole thing. Jane: No, Bennett is an idiot that thinks he's in control, but you played him like a violin, with those big eyes and those trembling lips. It's a dynamite act. You had me buying it. If only you'd told me the duck was an oboe, I probably would've told you where the diamonds were, and we likely never would've solved this one. Jennifer: The duck was an oboe? Jane: Yeah. "peter and the wolf." The duck is played by the oboe. The wolf is a bassoon. The flute is the songbird. Anyone who's seen it knows that. But you didn't. You didn't go to "Peter and the wolf." You stayed home and tortured your husband to make him give you his running away money. Jennifer: Running away with my daughter and $10 million and that dirty whore. And leave me with nothing?! I don't think so. How do you think it feels that my daughter prefers her father's whore over me? That she loves her more than her own mother? How do you think that feels?! Jane: I'm sure it hurts. Jennifer: I always knew there was a safe in that room, but he would never tell me where or what the combination was. And I had a real breakthrough insight. I realized... That was our whole marriage- Withholding. Withholding, always withholding. Whatever it was that I needed most from Jason... That's what he refused to give me. (She cries, we listen the police arrives) Tell me. Where are they? The diamonds. Flashback, Jane and Julie in the bedroom Jane: Very nice room. Julie: My daddy made it for me. End of flashback. Jane looks at the lamp. We see the diamonds. Front of the residence Lisbon: When did you first suspect it was her? Jane: Oh, I had an idea at the funeral service. Rigsby: No, you did not. Jane: I did. I did. She, uh, she was looking way too good. No wife should glow at her husband's funeral. Lisbon: So you made that bet with Rigsby that you could seduce her with the deliberate intention of snaring her? Jane: I wanted to win the bet, too, and, uh... I couldn't. Just because I lost doesn't mean you shouldn't take my advice. Rigsby: Yeah, yeah, hush. Jane: I'm serious, man. Go for it. Jane and Cho leave. Rigsby and Van Pet are alone Van Pelt: What's he talking about? Rigsby: Nothing.	Plan: A: CBI; Q: What team investigates the murder of a wealthy investment banker? A: Jane; Q: Who flirts with the widow of the investment banker? A: the widow; Q: Who does Jane flirt with at the memorial service? A: the team; Q: Who suspects the killer is after the money? A: a dual life; Q: What was the victim living? A: millions; Q: How much money was the victim skimming from clients? A: the money; Q: What does the wife run to when Jane sets up a mental conundrum? A: their suspicions; Q: What is confirmed when the victim's daughter is kidnapped? A: the victim's daughter; Q: Who is kidnapped in exchange for the hidden money? A: the hidden money; Q: What is the daughter of the victim's wife kidnapped for? A: a mental conundrum; Q: What does Jane set up to test the interest of the wife and mistress? A: the mistress; Q: Who runs to the child and the wife to the money? A: the child; Q: What does the mistress run to in the end? Summary: The CBI team investigates the murder of a wealthy investment banker, found tortured before being bolted inside his hidden "safe room." At the memorial service, Jane flirts with the widow and gets her to reveal the victim was a man of many secrets. Through further investigation, the team learns he was living a dual life between suburban wife and young mistress, and was also skimming millions from clients and hoarding it away in a secret place. While the team suspects the killer is after the money, their suspicions are confirmed when the victim's daughter is kidnapped in exchange for the hidden money. Jane suspects the wife and mistress so he sets up a mental conundrum, testing their interest in finding the money or child. In the end, the mistress runs to the child and the wife runs to the money.
The Space Pirates 5:15pm - 5:40pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1. MADELEINE'S OFFICE (MILO strides towards the vid-com console beside the desk. MADELEINE's guard pulls a gun out and aims it at MILO. He and the others look on in shock.) MADELEINE: Stop! Don't touch that call-button, Milo. (CAVEN suddenly bursts in, flanked by two armed men. SORBA is the first to react. He snatches the blaster-rifle from MADELEINE's guard and swings it round to cover CAVEN, who promptly blasts SORBA down before he can fire. CAVEN smiles coldly.) CAVEN: Anybody else want to die like a hero? [SCENE_BREAK] 2. MADELEINE'S OFFICE (CAVEN walks over to MILO.) CAVEN: You must have walked in here with your eyes wide open, Clancey. How very naive of you. (As his men aim their guns at the DOCTOR and crew, CAVEN points his gun squarely at MILO's head. If he fires it will be impossible for him to miss.) MADELEINE: Wait! I never agreed to anything like this. CAVEN: If you don't like it, step outside for a moment. MADELEINE: I don't want any more killing. CAVEN: (Staring at MILO.) Too bad! MADELEINE: I warn you Caven, don't over reach yourself. CAVEN: I never do that. MADELEINE: Well then just remember I'm still running this operation. CAVEN: Are you? I do all the dirty work - the space piracy, the capital larceny... MILO: And the first degree homicides! CAVEN: Right, Clancey (He turns back to MADELEINE.) CAVEN: While all you do is sit there looking pretty and count the money. But that doesn't mean to say you're not guilty. MADELEINE: Maybe, but I never agreed to murder. CAVEN: Well you'd better agree to it. Because if we don't get rid of these snoops, we'll both end up in a nirvan chamber. MADELEINE: (Firmly.) I don't want them killed! There must be some other solution. DOCTOR: (Indignantly.) Yes, there's just got to be! (There is a long pause while CAVEN considers.) CAVEN: Dyce! (MILO and ZOE can feel JAMIE tensing beside them, and realise that he is planning to jump the nearest guard. MILO grips JAMIE's arm.) ZOE: (Hissing quietly.) Jamie! JAMIE: Let go of me! ZOE: With all those guards, you don't stand a chance! (JAMIE tries to relax, but doesn't find it easy. CAVEN takes his head guard aside and mutters briefly into his ear. The guards start to shove the DOCTOR, JAMIE, ZOE and MILO out of the room.) GUARD: Come on, hurry up! Out of line! MOVE YOURSELVES! DOCTOR: Alright! You don't need to shout! MADELEINE: What are you going to do with them? CAVEN: Don't worry, they're not going to be shot. MADELEINE: I don't trust you, Caven. CAVEN: I told Fraze to lock them away under the dock complex. Ask him if you don't believe me. MADELEINE: (Staring at him.) What made you change your mind all of a sudden? CAVEN: I had a better idea, that's all. MADELEINE: (Mocking.) Oh yes? CAVEN: That Space Corps ship is becoming a nuisance. I've thought of a way of getting rid of it. [SCENE_BREAK] 3. SPACE (At this precise moment the V-ship is in orbit around the planet Lobos.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. V-SHIP, FLIGHT DECK (Major WARNE has gone off on a reconnaissance flight, and is reporting via the vid-com link to General HERMACK on the flight-deck.) WARNE: (OOV.) I tracked the sections of the beacon right into Lobos, sir. HERMACK: Were they being collected? WARNE: (OOV.) No sir. They were in orbit round the planet. I made a landing at Clancey's base but it looked pretty derelict to me. HERMACK: No sign of Clancey himself? WARNE: (OOV.) No sir. I talked to some of the mining crew. They said he took off several weeks ago - they haven't heard from him since. HERMACK: Are you sure they're speaking the truth? WARNE: (OOV.) I'm sure they are, sir. I made a pretty close reconnaissance of the area, and there's no pad installation big enough to take a Beta Dart the size the pirates use, sir. HERMACK: If there is one, it's certain to be camouflaged. WARNE: (OOV.) Well I checked for radiation traces, sir. No, I'd say that planet has not been used by a ship with atomic-drive. HERMACK: But the section of Beacon Alpha Four are in collection orbit around Lobos? How do you explain that? WARNE: (OOV.) Well, it's possibly been done to side-track us, sir, to put us off the pirates' real base. HERMACK: All right, Ian. We'll move in and find them. Bring that minnow in. WARNE: (OOV.) I'm on my way home, sir. (As WARNE's face vanishes from the screen, HERMACK turns to PENN.) HERMACK: Penn! PENN: Sir? HERMACK: I've called in X-X 2. Give Major Warne a beacon signal to home on. PENN: Yes, sir. HERMACK: Penn, Major Warne thinks those beacon sections were diverted to Lobos to mislead us. What was their course when our scanners first picked them up? PENN: I've got the plots on the computer, sir. (PENN punches co-ordinates into a keyboard, and studies a read-out screen.) PENN: (Pointing at the screen.) That's their original course. HERMACK: Hm. Can you project a destination from that data? PENN: I'm just doing that sir. (PENN punches more buttons and studies the answer.) PENN: On that course, the beacon sections would eventually have been drawn into an elliptical orbit around the planet of Ta! HERMACK: TA! I see. Thank you, Penn. [SCENE_BREAK] 5. CORRIDOR (CAVEN's guards march their prisoners along a steel corridor lined with heavy metal pipes and steel cables.) ZOE: Where are you taking us? GUARD: Shut up! Hey, don't speak! (The party halts outside a heavy steel door. A guard unlocks it and swings it open, while the head guard motions them inside with his blaster.) DOCTOR: Has anyone... Has anyone got a light? It's very dark in there. MILO: We're right under the freighter dock. GUARD: Hurry up! Inside! (They are shoved through the door, which is slammed shut behind them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6. STUDY (For a moment they stand in confusion in pitch darkness. The DOCTOR fishes an old-fashioned red-tipped match from his pocket and lights it on his thumbnail, holding the light high above his head. To their surprise, they find themselves not in the bare cell they'd been expecting, but in an elaborately furnished old-fashioned study. There is a desk, a sofa and armchairs, and the walls are lined with handsomely-bound books. A grandfather clock ticks loudly in the corner. There is a massive table covered with a fringed velvet cloth, that hangs down to the ground. Above the antique fireplace is a framed portrait of a distinguished looking, grey-haired man.) MILO: Grand sakes alive! It's Dom himself! DOCTOR: What? MILO: (Pointing to the picture.) The picture! It's Dom Issigri! ZOE: Madeleine's father? MILO: Yeah. Ah... Well, wait a moment now. This... (MILO examines the room.) MILO: Yeah. This is the old fellow's private study. Grand sakes! It's... It's years since I've been in here. (The DOCTOR's match burns low and he blows it out.) DOCTOR: You don't happen to remember where the light switch is, do you Milo? MILO: You won't find a light switch Doctor. You might find some candles, or something. JAMIE: Candles?! MILO: Yeah. JAMIE: In this day and age?! MILO: Well, an oil lamp or something. (To JAMIE.) Hey boy, look in that cupboard, you might find something. Yeah. Yeah, he was an old-fashioned romantic old critter, was old Dom. He brought all this furniture, he brought all... all them books and everything from Earth, you know. (ZOE brings out a box of candles from another cupboard.) ZOE: Are these candles? DOCTOR: Ah, well done Zoe. Yes, a whole box of them. ZOE: Well how do they work? JAMIE: How do they work?! DOCTOR: (To ZOE.) You take them and I'll... I'll show you. JAMIE: Hey, we need a flint box! DOCTOR: Alright... alright Jamie, I've got some matches. Now... You just light the wick, you see Zoe, and the wax allows the wick to burn fairly slowly. There we are. (As soon as the candle is alight, they start to study their surroundings in more detail.) DOCTOR: My word! (MILO chuckles.) DOCTOR: Good lord! (MILO chuckles again.) DOCTOR: This is very interesting. MILO: Hey, Doctor. You know there's one thing... I can't quite understand... That's why Madeleine let Caven put us in here. ZOE: Why? MILO: Well, like I said, this used to be the old fellow's private study. And she had it all locked up, so I was told, when he disappeared. She swore that nobody would ever come in here again. JAMIE: Nobody has. Look at the dust everywhere. Look! (JAMIE runs a finger through the dust to show MILO.) DOCTOR: I think somebody's been in here quite recently. JAMIE: Hey? MILO: Well, er... why do you say that, Doctor? DOCTOR: (Standing by the big clock.) This clock. JAMIE: Well what about it? DOCTOR: It's an eight-day movement, Jamie. (They all listen as the tick-tock noise of the clock fills the room.) MILO: Well... well why would anyone come down here just to wind a clock? DOCTOR: Yes, that's what I'm wondering. (He suddenly becomes aware that Zoe is tugging at his sleeve.) ZOE: Oh Doctor! DOCTOR: What is it? ZOE: Doctor, look! (ZOE is looking downwards. The DOCTOR follows the direction of her gaze and sees a scrawny, bare foot sticking out from under the edge of the tablecloth. Picking up one of the candles, the DOCTOR creeps towards the table and lifts up the cloth. Cowering under the table is a ragged unkempt old man. Strangely enough, the DOCTOR recognises him at once. It is the man in the portrait - DOM Issigri, MADELEINE's supposedly dead father.) DOM: (Frightened at the new arrivals.) Don't... Don't don't don't... Don't do anything... Please... leave me. No! [SCENE_BREAK] 7. MADELEINE'S OFFICE (DERVISH appears on the communicator.) DERVISH: (OOV.) Beta Buccaneer to Control. We are now in landing orbit. Give me clearance to pad. CAVEN: (Into microphone.) Hello Dervish. Bring the ship down on Pad 3. Got that? DERVISH: (OOV.) Pad 3. Right. (The screen goes blank.) CAVEN: The nose-cone worked by the way. It put the Space Corps right off the scent. (MADELEINE is sitting behind her desk. CAVEN is perched on the edge, very much at ease.) MADELEINE: Hermack's men'll be back though. I mean it's only a matter of time before he realises there's nothing on Lobos and the pirates must be based here. CAVEN: Do you think I haven't anticipated that? MADELEINE: Oughtn't we to put our emergency plan into operation? CAVEN: Flood the workings, lose all our equipment? (CAVEN shakes his head.) MADELEINE: We've got no alternative! Hermack's men will find our argonite smelting plant, and we'll be ferried back to the home planet to face a capital charge. CAVEN: I think we do have an alternative. (He gets off the desk and starts to walk around again.) CAVEN: And if it works we'll be in a position to re-start our operation. After a discreet interval, of course. MADELEINE: What exactly did you have in mind? CAVEN: Hermack thinks that Clancey is behind the space piracy. We found his old ship, the LIZ, in an abandoned freighter dock. I'm going to have it fitted with an overriding remote control. Then we'll put Clancey and his friends aboard, and boost them into orbit just when Hermack's V-ship comes into scanner range. HERMACK: (Panicked.) So that they pick Clancey up - but that's crazy! He'll tell him everything, he'll... CAVEN: Don't worry - the Space Corp won't get a word out of Clancey, or those friends of his. (MADELEINE suddenly understands what he means and slams her fist down on the table.) MADELEINE: NO! I will not be party to murder. When all this started it was going to be a salvage operation - space flotsam you said. But then piracy and now murder!? CAVEN: You're taking a cut out of the profits. MADELEINE: Yes, but because it's too late. I'm involved. CAVEN: You wanted to get rid of Clancey. I'm proposing to do it permanently. MADELEINE: By cold blooded, deliberate murder. No! I will not let you do it! CAVEN: (Leaning over the table.) I don't think you've got much choice. MADELEINE: Are you threatening me? CAVEN: You may be the head of the Issigri Mining Company and very important back on Earth, but on this planet I have twice as many men as you and mine are all armed. I don't have to make threats. I'm telling you, not to interfere! (He turns round as DERVISH comes into the room.) CAVEN: Ah Dervish, we're discussing a space accident. (DERVISH looks baffled.) DERVISH: Oh, where? CAVEN: I haven't quite decided where it'll take place yet! DERVISH: Oh sorry, I don't get it. CAVEN: Don't worry. I want you to go down to the abandoned freighter dock, Dervish, you'll find an old C class ship there on the pad. Take some men with you and fit it out with a remote control guidance unit. DERVISH: What now? But look Caven, I've only just got back... CAVEN: (Sharp.) This is important, Dervish. DERVISH: Alright, if you say so. What's it for? CAVEN: Don't ask questions. Get on with it. DERVISH: (Grudgingly.) Right. CAVEN: Oh, and by the way... DERVISH: Yes? CAVEN: It's a very old ship, did I say that? Practically falling apart. I want their oxygen pump rigged so that it does full apart... say about five minutes after blast off. (DERVISH leaves and MADELEINE looks at CAVEN, an expression of panic on her face.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8. DOM'S STUDY (DOM Issigri crouches in a corner of the room, hands over his face, cowering away from the candle flame. So far, all the DOCTOR's attempts to reassure him have met with no success. The old man just cringes back, wedging himself into his corner.) MILO: Dom. (DOM backs further away from him, whimpering.) MILO: Dom, look at me. Don't... don't you know me, Dom? It... it's... it's me Milo Clancey, Dom, your old partner... DOM: No! No, leave me! Leave me be! No! Don't hurt me! Not again! Please! ZOE: (Looking at the poor wreck of a man.) Are you sure it's Dom Issigri? MILO: Of course it's Dom Issigri! I was closer to that man than a brother for fifteen years. That's Dom alright. DOCTOR: Jamie! MILO: What in the world have they done to him? DOCTOR: Jamie. Jamie, let him go. JAMIE: What? DOCTOR: Well he's obviously so frightened we can't make him worse. Look out. (He approaches DOM.) MILO: Dom... Dom... What in the world has happened to him? DOCTOR: Well you can't expect him to behave normally. We don't know how long he's been down here. MILO: But listen... Maddie wouldn't have done a thing like this to him. JAMIE: Not her own father. DOCTOR: Milo... Go... go... go and talk to him quietly. MILO: Ah, well yeah... yeah... yeah all right, I'll do that. Err... Hey listen, what ah... what ah... what am I going to talk to him about? DOCTOR: Talk to him about the things that he might remember. MILO: Well, oh yeah. Yeah. (He approaches DOM again.) MILO: Now, ah Dom. Now now, it's... it's only Milo, Dom. It's just Milo, your old partner, Dom. All right. Hah! Hey listen... hey listen Dom. I've still got the LIZ, you know Dom. Remember the old LIZ, we used to thrash from here to home planet in? Remember that time we had to race those three ships in order to... to register our stake on Lobos? You remember that race, Dom! (The old man glances up at him. Somehow MILO's voice seems to calm him.) MILO: What... what about when little Madeleine was born? DOM: Maddie? MILO: Yeah. Remember that? We made that record return trip - it took them... it took them fifteen years to beat the time we did then, Dom. I thought the old LIZ was going to split into two. Remember Dom? (Suddenly DOM Issigri speaks, or rather croaks, in a voice rusty with disuse.) DOM: Maddie... Madeleine... (He tugs a tattered photograph of a little girl from the pocket of his shirt.) MILO: That's her Dom. That... that's her. That's your daughter Dom. What, she... she must have been about six year old when that was... DOM: No no no - f.. five... o.. only five. Ah, poor Madeleine... DOCTOR: (Whispering to MILO.) Go on! DOM: Madeleine... MILO: Ah, w.. well Dom. What about that ah... that other picture you had? That... that coloured picture you had of her. You know, Madeleine in a... in a red dress. Have you still got that picture, Dom? [SCENE_BREAK] 9. CORRIDOR (Meanwhile, confused and upset, MADELEINE has come down to the tunnels to see the prisoners. She is astonished to see one of CAVEN's guards on duty outside the "permanently locked" door to her father's old study.) MADELEINE: Where are those prisoners? (The GUARD nods towards the door.) GUARD: Safe and sound. MADELEINE: In there? (Explodes.) WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN THERE?! THAT IS MY FATHER'S STUDY. I GAVE ORDERS FOR THAT DOOR TO BE KEPT LOCKED. (The GUARD shrugs indifferently.) GUARD: Chief said to put them in there. MADELEINE: Caven! Give me the key! GUARD: Chief says nobody's to enter. MADELEINE: Look, you know who I am. I'm ordering you to give me that key. GUARD: (Firmly.) I can't do that! (Sarcastically.) Sorry! MADELEINE: (Firmly.) You will be. (She turns and goes back the way she came. The GUARD calls to his colleague who is patrolling the junction.) GUARD: Fraze! Here a minute. Go and tell the chief Miss Issigri's been down here trying to get in to see the prisoners. And tell him she's in a flaming temper about it! (FRAZE dashes off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10. DOM'S STUDY DOM: It is. Milo Clancey! It's Milo! (MILO laughs.) MILO: (Excited.) It is, Dom, it is. Old Milo, Dom. Hey... hey come on, come on old fellow, you... you sit down here where you'll be... where you'll be nice and comfortable. Now there you are, come on. (DOM sits down.) MILO: I'll tell you something, Dom. We're... we're all friends here. (DOM clutches MILO's sleeve, staring up into his face.) DOM: Friends? Then he's caught you too. He's caught us all of us. DOCTOR: You mean Caven? DOM: You'll never get out of here. Never. You'll all die down here, I tell you. DOCTOR: I think we shall get out of here. How long have you been down here? (The old man stares wildly at him.) DOM: How long? I don't know how long - years! They came for me, by night, with guns. ZOE: Who did? MILO: Not now, ah, was it Caven, Dom? DOM: You know Caven? MILO: Yeah. DOM: He's evil. Ruthless. They brought me down here and kept me like a rat under ground. MILO: That explains how he disappeared. Caven kidnapped him. JAMIE: Well why do that? MILO: Because he wanted to drive a wedge between Madeleine and me, he wanted to take over the company. JAMIE: I know, but why keep him prisoner all this time? (JAMIE lowers his voice.) JAMIE: I mean, surely it would be easier for them to have killed him and be done with it. DOCTOR: Well, from what we've seen of Caven, I... I think he always has a good reason for doing things, Jamie. ZOE: You mean Mr Issigri is still of some value to Caven in some way? DOCTOR: Yes, I... I think so, Zoe. (He turns back to DOM.) DOCTOR: Well, Dom, we shall just have to escape, won't we? DOM: Escape? That door's the only way out of here. DOCTOR: Are you quite sure? MILO: What? Of course he's quite sure. Ah, old Dom he... he built this room. JAMIE: Aye... MILO: He hacked it out of living rock. That door's the only way out. (The DOCTOR doesn't seem in the least discouraged.) DOCTOR: Yes, but it's also the only way in. [SCENE_BREAK] 11. MADELEINE'S OFFICE (To MADELEINE's irritation, DERVISH is in the office instead of CAVEN. He is talking on her communicator.) DERVISH: ...you'll find this ship out at the old freighter dock beyond the perimeter. Use one of the tractors to get the stuff out there and hurry. I need it quickly, and don't forget the thermic capacitators. (The screen, with an unknown face on it, goes black.) MADELEINE: Where's Caven? DERVISH: Oh, ah... he's on level three, I think. One of the guards just came in asking for him. MADELEINE: Guards... moronic brutes. DERVISH: Well... MADELEINE: Look Dervish, you're an intelligent man, a qualified astroengineer. How did you get mixed up with a criminal like Caven? DERVISH: I made a mistake once. Just once. Caven found out about it. MADELEINE: There must a way... there must be a way of fighting him. I didn't realise what I'd got involved with, until I saw him shoot that man today. DERVISH: Oh you can't fight Caven. MADELEINE: Not alone, but if you help me we might... DERVISH: No! Look, I don't want to talk about it. (He sees the scornful look on her face and says angrily:) DERVISH: I know Caven. I know what he's capable of. And believe me, he'd kill us both if he even suspected we were been talking like this. (DERVISH turns to leave. MADELEINE throws herself on him.) MADELEINE: YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME! We're the only two who can stop him! DERVISH: I'm sorry. (He removes MADELEINE's hand from his coat.) MADELEINE: (Panicking.) He's planning to kill those prisoners, Dervish! We can't let him murder four innocent people. DERVISH: PLEASE LET ME GO! I've got work to do. (He dodges past her and heads for the door.) MADELEINE: (Shouts.) You'll be as guilty as he is! (...but DERVISH is gone. MADELEINE looks after him for a moment and comes to a sudden decision. She whirls round and heads for his vid-com console.) MADELEINE: (Into communicator.) This is Issigri Control to V-ship 41. Issigri Control to General Hermack. Hello Space Corps. If you hear me, please come in on band 396. This is Issigri Control... [SCENE_BREAK] 12. V-SHIP, FLIGHT DECK (We see the Space Corp ship and close in on the flight deck, as MADELEINE's voice crackles faintly through the speaker on the flight deck.) PENN: Sir! WARNE: What is it, Penn? PENN: Radio call from Issigri Control. HERMACK: What do they want? PENN: It's a woman's voice, sir. Very faint, I'll put it through the amplifier. (The voice becomes louder and clearer.) MADELEINE: (OOV.) Issigri Control calling General Hermack. Please come in! Band 396! (Even over the air-waves, HERMACK can hear the tone of desperation in her voice.) MADELEINE: Issigri Control calling Space Corp. (The signal starts to break up again.) HERMACK: Did you get that band, Penn? PENN: Coming up on the video, sir. (MADELEINE's anguished face appears on the vid-com screen.) HERMACK: (Into microphone.) V-Master to Issigri Control, receiving you now. MADELEINE: (OOV.) Listen General. You must get... (MADELEINE's voice cuts off and the screen goes blank.) HERMACK: What the blue blazes! Open that connection again, Penn! PENN: It's still open, sir. Somebody's pulled the plug at the other end! [SCENE_BREAK] 13. MADELEINE'S OFFICE CAVEN: Obviously I got here just in time. (One of CAVEN's hands is still on the cut-out switch. The other holds MADELEINE's wrist in a painful grip. He moves her away from the vid-com console and releases her.) CAVEN: And why did you try to see the prisoners?! MADELEINE: (Rubbing her wrist.) Oh why do you think? To tell them what you're planning. CAVEN: So, I can't rely on you any more. MADELEINE: No, you better put me in with them. CAVEN: (Slightly laughing.) Oh no. You've not yet outlived your usefulness! MADELEINE: If you think... if you think for one moment that I'm going to help you in any wa... CAVEN: You are going to do exactly as I tell you, Madeleine. MADELEINE: You really are mad, aren't you. CAVEN: (Very sharp.) Because if you don't, I'll have your father flogged. And I ought to tell you that he's not in the best of health. MADELEINE: (Laughs.) Oh, but my father's dead! CAVEN: He's alive. (CAVEN takes a photograph from his pocket and gives it to MADELEINE. It's a picture of DOM in his present condition.) CAVEN: As you can perhaps see from this photograph taken only a few weeks ago. (MADELEINE stares unbelievingly at the unkempt figure cringing away from the camera.) CAVEN: I thought I might need a lever to help you to co-operate. MADELEINE: (Softly.) Where is he? CAVEN: In his study, where else? When you ordered that room to be kept locked, I thought it'd be the safest place to put him. MADELEINE: (Stares at CAVEN.) YOU! (She tries to dash for the door but again CAVEN grabs her in a vice-like grip. She yells: ) MADELEINE: LET ME... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY FATHER? Let me see him, let me... (MADELEINE sobs hysterically.) CAVEN: Before we get that far, let's talk about how you're going to help me, shall we? Because that's much more important. [SCENE_BREAK] 14. V-SHIP, FLIGHT DECK PENN: It's no use, sir. There's not a peep out of Issigri Control. HERMACK: What do you think, Ian? WARNE: I'd have given a lot to have held that contact for another ten seconds, sir. I wonder what she was gonna to say. HERMACK: She looked worried. WARNE: Sir, if those sections of the beacons were originally on course for Ta... HERMACK: So they were, according to our computer readings. WARNE: Well, suppose Clancey diverted them to Lobos? To get us out of the way so that his gang could raid the Issigri Headquarters. HERMACK: That would be a big operation. Even for a crew as well disciplined as the pirates appear to be. WARNE: Well, not if he had a base on another planet, sir. HERMACK: (Musing it over.) I suppose it's possible. (To PENN) Penn, set course for Ta. PENN: Right, sir. HERMACK: (To WARNE.) We can swing back there and make sure that everything's in order anyway. [SCENE_BREAK] 15. DOM'S STUDY (The DOCTOR is staring broodingly at the heavy metal door.) DOCTOR: Dom, the grille over the door... DOM: Leads out to the passage outside. And that steel is three inches thick. I tell you it's hopeless: I spent my first year down here working on that - here, you can see it's hardly marked. DOCTOR: Yes, I wasn't thinking of brute strength. Well, well not much brute strength. JAMIE: It's not an audio lock is it? DOCTOR: No Jamie, it isn't. JAMIE: (Looking relieved.) Well, that's a relief. (The DOCTOR looks hurt.) DOCTOR: Jamie, sometimes... sometimes I think you don't appreciate all I do for you. Milo? MILO: Yeah? DOCTOR: Supposing we could get out of this room, do you think you could find your way back to your spaceship? MILO: Well yeah, if you want to get me out of this room... DOCTOR: Sh, shh! MILO: What? (The DOCTOR points to the door.) MILO: Ah, well that's what I was going to say, you see, apart from these guards there. If we get past those guards, well, they wouldn't track us down in those tunnels - I know those tunnels like the back of my hand. DOCTOR: Splendid! (The DOCTOR rubs his hands.) DOCTOR: Right, Zoe, hand out those candles. Two at a time will do. JAMIE: (Puzzled.) What for? DOCTOR: Just a minute, Jamie, I'll tell you. (The DOCTOR starts to search his pockets.) DOCTOR: Now where did I put my bag of marbles... [SCENE_BREAK] 16. MADELEINE'S OFFICE MADELEINE: I'm sorry General, we had a technical failure. (HERMACK's face is frowning at her from the vid-com screen.) HERMACK: (OOV.) Ah, is that what happened. You went out in mid-message. (MADELEINE is very conscious of CAVEN standing to one side, just out of HERMACK's sight.) MADELEINE: Yes, I was just saying that you must get these pirates soon, General. One of my freighters has just landed, and the Captain said that his ship was attacked. HERMACK: (OOV.) Really? Where was this? MADELEINE: Just on entering the sector, he tells me. But he was able to out-run them. HERMACK: (OOV.) Ha, you had us worried. We're heading back to your planet now. (MADELEINE's voice gets panicky.) MADELEINE: Err, that's quite unnecessary, General. There's nothing wrong here. HERMACK: (Dryly, OOV.) Oh, I'm glad to hear it. Well we've got some checking to do there anyway. MADELEINE: I see. Well then I'll get a landing pad cleared for you. HERMACK: (OOV.) Fine. And thank you for contacting us. (As the screen goes blank, MADELEINE turns to CAVEN.) MADELEINE: Satisfied?! CAVEN: Yes, but you shouldn't have tried to divert them. I'm counting on that ship returning. (He flicks a switch on the intercom.) CAVEN: Dervish, how are things coming along? (DERVISH's voice crackles back.) DERVISH: (OOV.) I've completed the installation. I'm running a test on it now. CAVEN: Good, let me know as soon as you're ready. [SCENE_BREAK] 17. DOM'S STUDY (Under the DOCTOR's direction, he and his fellow prisoners are rubbing candle- wax into the floor. They've worn down several candles between them, and by now the whole area around the door is covered with a thin layer of wax.) DOCTOR: Right, there we are. I think that should be enough wax. ZOE: Are you sure it'll work? DOCTOR: Well, it usually does. Jamie, Jamie, pass me that marble will you? JAMIE: (Picking up a marble.) This one? DOCTOR: The green one. (JAMIE passes the green marble to the DOCTOR.) DOCTOR: Thank you very much. It's ah... one of my favourites! (The DOCTOR tucks the marble into his pocket.) DOCTOR: Now, what have you got, Dom? (DOM comes forward with a metal tray on which there is a pile of paper and cloth.) DOM: An old shirt and an aeronautical journal. DOCTOR: (Laughs.) Ha ha! That should make plenty of smoke. Right then, is everybody ready? (MILO has broken up an old Victorian dining-chair. JAMIE, ZOE, DOM and MILO clutch one leg each. The DOCTOR sets fire to the pile of paper and rags on the tray.) DOCTOR: That's the stuff. (They all join in, fanning and blowing on the pile of smouldering rags, until it is burning strongly and sending up a plume of black smoke.) DOCTOR: You all know what you have to do? MILO: Yeah. JAMIE: Ready. (The DOCTOR holds the tray up towards the grille over the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18. CORRIDOR (It doesn't take long before the GUARD outside the door starts sniffing suspiciously. He looks up to see smoke streaming from the grille over the door.) GUARD: (Into the intercom.) Quince! Here quick! (Muffled shouts of "Help! Fire, fire, fire!" start coming from the other side of the door. The GUARD fumbles with the keys at his belt.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19. DOM'S STUDY (The DOCTOR and his companions wait tensely. Suddenly the door is opened. Two guards rush in, hit the grease and the marbles, and go down in a flailing pile of arms and legs. They struggle to get up, but are promptly flattened by a gang of what look like yelling demons with clubs. Clambering over the dazed and battered guards, the DOCTOR and his little party disappear down the corridor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20. MADELEINE'S OFFICE (A few minutes later, CAVEN is screaming at the unfortunate guard, whose bruised and battered face fills the vid-com screen in MADELEINE's office.) CAVEN: (Screaming.) Useless fools - you'll be punished for this! GUARD: (OOV.) It wasn't our fault, Chief. CAVEN: Go on! Get moving! Get after those prisoners! With any luck you'll be shot! Incompetents! Idiots! (The screen goes blank and CAVEN slams his fist on the table. He turns to MADELEINE and snarls: ) CAVEN: Don't imagine they can get away. There's nowhere for them to go! MADELEINE: (Laughing at him.) If you haven't caught them by the time the Space Corps get here... Ha, ha, ha! Then you really are in trouble, aren't you! (A voice comes from the intercom.) VOICE: (OOV.) Hello Chief. Muller here. The prisoners have just been spotted on level three. CAVEN: (Into the microphone.) Which way are they heading? VOICE: (OOV.) Towards the old freighter dock. CAVEN: Clancey's old space-ship, of course. (Into the microphone.) Listen Muller, don't try and stop them, you understand? Let them reach the freighter dock. VOICE: (OOV.) OK Chief, I'll call the patrols in. (CAVEN smiles coldly at MADELEINE.) CAVEN: I think your friends intend to save me a lot of trouble. Once they get that old crate up into space, I can cut in the remote control any time I like. Stop their oxygen and deliver a cargo of dead pirates to General Hermack. (MADELEINE looks at him in anguish.) MADELEINE: Caven, you can't do that! My father's with them! CAVEN: (Heartlessly.) Yes, he'd have been better off staying where he was, wouldn't he? [SCENE_BREAK] 21. LIZ 79 (MILO dashes into LIZ 79's cabin, and throws himself into the pilot's seat. He begins a frantic instrument check.) MILO: Come on, Dom. Come on, Doctor. Come on Dom, in you go. (The DOCTOR and then DOM throw themselves into the control room. Seconds later the DOCTOR appears, looking worriedly behind him.) DOCTOR: What's happened to Jamie and Zoe? I... I think I ought to go back for them... MILO: Don't you worry about them. They're probably just checking up we haven't been followed. (The DOCTOR notices MILO pressing buttons and turning switches.) DOCTOR: What are you doing? MILO: Just getting ready for take-off. DOCTOR: But... MILO: But don't worry, come on, I won't go without 'em. [SCENE_BREAK] 22. MADELEINE'S OFFICE (DERVISH's face appears on MADELEINE's vid-com screen.) DERVISH: (OOV.) Control reports that the V-Ship's on an approach path. CAVEN: Already? [SCENE_BREAK] 23. SPACE (The V-Ship flies towards Ta in the distance.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24. MADELEINE'S OFFICE CAVEN: (Into communicator.) All right, listen! We can't afford to wait for Clancey to take that ship up. Activate the overriding unit now! MADELEINE: NO! (She runs at CAVEN, but he throws her brutally aside.) CAVEN: You understand, Dervish! Boost that crate into orbit! Immediately! [SCENE_BREAK] 25. LIZ 79 DOCTOR: I can't understand what's happened to them. I'm going back. MILO: Oh? Well, ah... Don't be long now, tell them to hurry! (As soon as the door closes behind the DOCTOR, the cabin begins vibrating with a low rumble of power.) MILO: Well, hey... DOM: Listen... Listen... (MILO wrestles with the controls, but they are locked and refuse to respond.) MILO: (Shocked.) That's the rocket drive - hey hey! We're taking off! The Doctor will be burned to a frazzle in the blast! [SCENE_BREAK] 26. FREIGHTER DOCK (The DOCTOR is tearing down the access tunnel from the launch pad. A shattering roar comes from the launch-pad just behind him, and a blast of smoke, flames and chemical fumes rips through the tunnel. The DOCTOR is hurled to the ground.) DOCTOR: Oh no! No! No! No! No! (He lies motionless amid the drifting, poisonous smoke and the oncoming flames...)	Plan: A: Madeleine; Q: Who is revealed to be working with Caven? A: Caven; Q: Who is the man who comes up with a way to kill the Doctor and his friends? A: the piracy; Q: What is the Doctor and his friends being framed for? Summary: Madeleine is revealed to be working with Caven, who comes up with a way to kill the Doctor and his friends whilst framing them for the piracy.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] LUCAS : You want to join the Ravens? SKILLS : If it's gonna get me a scholarship. HALEY : I'm pregnant. NATHAN : I'm having money problems, dad. It's serious, and I need your help. DAN : You' not an investment I'm interested in. PEYTON : I'm not screwing Lucas. BROOKE : I gave Lucas to you, and I can take him back whenever I want. BROOKE : Tonight's about us, right? BROOKE : Why haven't you told him how you feel? PEYTON : Doesn't matter now, does it? HALEY : I will tutor you. You have to remember that I can't stand you. NATHAN : There's no reason you guys should be here. DAUNTE : State championship. NATHAN : I'm not gonna lose that game. WHITEY : Tomorrow night's game is the last one I'll ever coach. I really want this championship. DAUNTE : Say goodbye to basketball. NATHAN : No! DAUNTE : Lose that game. NATHAN : I'm in trouble, dad. DAN : How could you be so stupid? DAN : How much is it gonna take to make this all go away? DAUNTE : Be an awful shame if the ground next to your brother Keith started getting really crowded, don't you think ? Bet against the Ravens tomorrow night. Make yourself some money. NATHAN : What are we gonna do, dad? DAN : You're gonna lose the state championship. LUCAS : I realized tonight that it's over between me and Brooke. PEYTON : I love you, Lucas. We see Whitey alone in the street, obviously after the game SPORTS ANNOUNCER (voiceover) : And there is no joy in Tree Hill tonight because the Ravens have lost the state championship. Whitey Durham is the picture of a broken man, and you have to wonder if this opportunity will ever come around again for the Tree Hill Ravens. We see Nathan sitting on the floor, crying SPORTS ANNOUNCER (voiceover) : There are tears, and there are questions, starting with what got into Scott? I mean, he's got a lot of explaining to do. We see Peyton crying in her room SPORTS ANNOUNCER (voiceover) : No doubt about it... hearts are breaking in Tree Hill tonight. Flashback to the end of the last episode PEYTON : I love you, Lucas. LUCAS : I love you, too, Peyton. We've been through so much together. PEYTON : You don't... you don't understand. I've been holding this in for a really long time. And I need you to know... I love you. I'm in love with you. LUCAS : Oh. RIVERCOURT AT NIGHT Lucas is playing alone, Nathan arrives NATHAN : You look like crap. LUCAS : Yeah, just been dealing with some stuff, you know? Besides, I'm way too wired to sleep. Do you realize, in less than 24 hours, we're gonna be state champs? NATHAN : I don't think so. LUCAS : What? Come on, man. With you, me, Skills... no way Pontiac beats us, you know? NATHAN : We can't win it, Luke. We're not going to. I needed the money, okay? (Lucas gets angry) LUCAS : You said it was over... that it was just one game. NATHAN : It was just one game. They said it was just one game, okay? But... now we have to lose, okay ? LUCAS : Nathan, what are you talking about? This is Whitey's last game ever. He's been chasing this dream for 35 years. What about Whitey? Or Mouth? Or Skills, with college? What about me, Nate? This is the last game I'll ever play. NATHAN : I'm sorry. (Nathan starts leaving) LUCAS : You know... the night before I joined the team, we battled each other on this court. I guess we'll be doing the same thing tomorrow. NATHAN : Lucas, you only play 15 minutes a game. You can't change this. LUCAS : I can try. And I hated you that night we played. I thought you changed, but... guess I was wrong. THE BOYS LOCKER ROOM AT TREE HILL GYM Mouth is recording a tape MOUTH : Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to what may be the biggest day in the history of Tree Hill Ravens basketball. 10,000 fans will pack the RBC Center tonight to see the Ravens battle top-ranked Pontiac high-school for the state championship. For coach Whitey Durham, only 32 minutes remain in a long and storied career. (Whitey enters the room) WHITEY : A little early, aren't you? MOUTH : I know, coach, but... I've been waiting for this day my whole life. WHITEY : Me too, son. Me too. LUCAS' BEDROOM Lucas is getting ready, Skills is there SKILLS : You said, "oh"? Hold on. Peyton say, "I'm in love with you," and you say, "oh." Nice work, player. LUCAS : She caught me by surprise. What was I supposed to say? SKILLS : Not "oh." Okay, what else did you say? LUCAS : I mumbled something about us being friends, and then I left. SKILLS : And you believe that... that you and P. Sawyer are just friends? LUCAS : Look, you know what, Skills? For a long time, I thought that maybe we'd be something more. It just never seemed to work out. So at a certain point, you got to face the fact that it's not meant to be. SKILLS : Even if she wants more? LUCAS : She's just a little confused... she's had a hard year, and I happened to be there to rescue her a few times. SKILLS : So maybe you're the one who confused... 'cause you didn't just happen to rescue her a few times. You didn't just happen to run back into school that day or save her from psycho Derek. Peyton happened to be there, but you chose to be there. So maybe you ought to think about that. TUTOR CENTER Haley is tutoring Rachel HALEY : No, when the boy buys the balloon, it's a total volume of one cubic foot. So if he blows up the balloon at .1 cubic feet per minute, how fast is the radius of the balloon increasing when he only blows it up halfway? RACHEL : I don't know about the balloon, but this blows. When am I gonna ever need to know this? HALEY : I don't know. Probably when you're failing calculus and want to graduate. Oh wait, that's right now. Okay, let's take a look at Mr. Miller's last test. (Haley takes a key from her wallet, and open a cabinet) RACHEL : Why don't we take a look at Mr. Miller's next test? That's where they keep them, right? HALEY : How do you know that? RACHEL : I hear things. So, how come if you're a student, you have access to all the tests? It's no wonder you have a 4.0 GPA. HALEY : Are you kidding me? It's called an honor system, and it's not like I can access tests to my own classes. RACHEL : You and Nathan need a few extra bucks. I need a few answers. So how about you sell me the test? Name your price. HALEY : Do you know the meaning of the word "honor"? Of course you don't. It's you. You know, I really... I just can't deal with this right now. Let's just pick this up at the game. RACHEL : The game? The state championship? You really do hate me, don't you? HALEY : Yep. See you later. (Haley leaves and Rachel looks at the cabinet) SCOTT'S HOUSE Deb is alone in her bedroom. Karen comes to visit her KAREN : We missed you at the banquet. Your son was named the team's MVP. DEB : Karen... KAREN : Take a shower, get dressed, and see if you can find what's left of your dignity. Nathan is playing his last high-school basketball game ever, and you're going to it whether you like it or not. INSIDE THE BUS The team his going to the game SKILLS (to Lucas) : So, check it out. I got Scouts from three different schools coming to watch us play tonight. Man, we win this thing, I'm gonna have my pick of scholarships. LUCAS (to Nathan) : So you gonna tell him he's not going to college or should I? NATHAN : It's one game. It's one high-school basketball game. You think it really matters if we don't win? LUCAS : I don't know. How about you ask them? (They look at all the team and all the cars following the bus, honking) INSIDE RACHEL'S CAR Rachel, Brooke, Haley, Peyton and Bevin are going to the game BROOKE : I can't believe Whitey wouldn't let us ride the bus. And thanks to Haley, we're gonna miss the game because you had to stop and pee every other mile. This sucks. HALEY : Brooke, I'm pregnant, and I'm not feeling very well. BROOKE : I don't mean it sucks because we're gonna be late, honey. I mean, it sucks because Peyton's here. RACHEL : You guys seriously need to work things out. I mean, when I was in fat-girl therapy... (There is a blank) RACHEL : Maybe role-playing. It's when everyone speaks as someone else. It might help. It could make things really horrible. That could be fun, too. HALEY : Okay, I'll go first. My name's Rachel, and I'm a dumbass who's failing calculus, and I really like to hit on married guys. RACHEL : See? Fun. Kind of like when I slept with Nathan. Damn, that was good. BROOKE : Okay. Peyton here. I like to steal boys, but I'm afraid to tell them how I feel. BROOKE : Speaking of stealing... Hi, I'm Brooke, and I stole my friend Peyton's artwork so I could put it on my clothing line, and I never even said thank you. BROOKE : Okay, Peyton here again. Have I mentioned that if you love me, you're probably gonna die soon? See mothers one and two. HALEY : Brooke. BEVIN : My name's Rachel, and I have red hair. (Peyton hit Brooke and they start to fight) BROOKE : Oh, I am gonna kick your ass. HALEY : Hey, hey, stop it. Stop it! KAREN'S CAR Karen and Deb are going to the game DEB : I never congratulated you on your pregnancy. Although you have to admit it's pretty strange. KAREN : Strange? How? DEB : How Keith was there for Dan's child and now Dan wants to be there for Keith's. (Deb takes some pills) KAREN : You really gonna do that to Nathan? It's one night, Deb. It's one night for your son. (Deb swallows the pills) CHEERLEADERS ROOM The cheerleaders are waiting in a room. Rachel is studying with Haley. Haley doesn't seem feeling well RACHEL : You know, the pacing's not gonna make me any smarter. Besides, the stress can't be good for the baby. HALEY : I'm not pacing for you. I'm pacing for Nathan. He's worked most of his life for this. I just want it to be perfect for him. RACHEL : Just so you know, I wouldn't have slept with him, even if he wanted to. But we definitely would have made out. HALEY : Can you just finish the exam? I have to go to the bathroom again. Brooke is putting some make up and Peyton is listening to her I-pod not far from her PEYTON : You were wrong. You said in the car that I was afraid to tell Lucas that I loved him, but I did. I told him last night. He doesn't want to be with me. You can smile now. (Peyton leaves) THE BOYS LOCKER ROOM Nathan is listening to some music. Skills comes to see Lucas SKILLS : You believe this, man? Me and my boy representing for the river court. (Skills grabs Lucas' pills) SKILLS : Hey, how these pills work, anyway? I mean, how they keep you alive? LUCAS : They slow down my heart rate so I can't go full-speed. That's why Whitey only lets me play part time. SKILLS : Maybe he only play you part time 'cause he got me full time. LUCAS : Listen, I got to talk to you. Nathan's gonna throw the game tonight. Remember when we saw him talking to that Daunte guy? He's going to. SKILLS : We got to tell Whitey, man. LUCAS : No, we can't. That'll break his heart more than losing this game. SKILLS : What about my heart? What about your heart? What about the other nine guys on the team? LUCAS : I know. And that's why we got to win this game... you and me. SKILLS : How? LUCAS : We freeze out Nathan... and play the game of our lives. (Skills leaves and Lucas chooses to not take his medication) CHEERLEADERS ROOM Haley is still in the bathroom BROOKE : Haley? Come on, you've been in there forever. We got to go. Haley... (Brooke opens the door and finds Haley on the floor, in bad shape) PEYTON : Oh, my god. INSIDE THE GYM THE CROWD : Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! THE BOYS LOCKER ROOM All the team is sitting, Whitey enters the room WHITEY : Let's go. THE HOSPITAL The girls are waiting with Haley to see a doctor. She's really hurt BROOKE : How you doing, Haley? HALEY : Not so good. PEYTON : I'm sure you'll be next. Maybe we should try to get in touch with Nathan. HALEY : No, I don't want him to know, not during the game. NURSE : Sara Lestage? RACHEL : Okay, this is a bunch of crap. Come on. (Rachel and Bevin stand up to go see the nurse) RACHEL : Look, our friend has been waiting a long time. NURSE : So? BROOKE : So? She's pregnant, and she's in a lot of pain. NURSE : Well, look, I know you cheerleaders expect special treatment, but guess what... I never liked the cheerleaders in my school. RACHEL : It's probably because you looked like that. NURSE : Guess who's gonna wait a little longer now. PEYTON : Like hell she is. Come on, Haley. (Peyton takes Haley and all the girls start to go inside the emergency room) NURSE : Excuse me! I'll call security. BROOKE : Yeah, call security. Why don't you call the police? And tell them you're discriminating against cheerleaders. PEYTON : Can we get a doctor, please? NURSE : Listen to me. I don't care how special you are in your little high school. You can't just barge in here. (A doctor arrives) DOCTOR : What's going on? PEYTON : What's going on is that our friend is pregnant and she's in a lot of pain and this bitch is about to get her ass kicked. DOCTOR : Okay, just calm down. I'll take a look at her. You can all wait in the lobby and cheer for something. HALEY : Thanks, you guys. BROOKE : You're gonna be okay, Haley. PEYTON : Slut. RACHEL : Bitch. BROOKE : Whore. BEVIN : Thank you. INSIDE THE GYM Daunte and bear are walking by Dan DAUNTE : Great day for basketball. Better day for making some money. DAN : Thanks to you, Nathan's gonna carry the shame of this with him for the rest of his life. DAUNTE : Maybe you should have helped him out when he needed it. INSIDE KAREN'S CAR KAREN : Oh, we are almost there, Deb. Deb? (Deb felt asleep) THE HOSPITAL Haley is with the doctor DOCTOR : You're gonna be fine. Ligament pain brought on by stress is common. Your test results don't reveal anything abnormal. Here's your term of your pregnancy, your baby's sx. T-cell count is normal. HALEY : My baby's sx. DOCTOR : Um... I'm sorry. Did you not want to know? HALEY : No, it's okay. INSIDE THE GYM The game is about to begin. MOUTH : Okay, folks, this is the one we've all been waiting for. It's the Tree Hill Ravens and Pontiac High School for the North Carolina state basketball championship, brought to you by Chili's. GIGI : I want my baby-back, baby-back, baby-back... barbecue sauce. MOUTH : Gigi Silveri, ladies and gentlemen. TEAM : 1, 2, 3... Ravens! (Nathan looks at the cheerleader and don't see Haley) NATHAN : Where's Haley at? LUCAS : She's probably putting money down on Pontiac. MOUTH : Pontiac's Jarvis Hays will jump it up against Tree Hill's Nathan Scott. (The game starts) MOUTH : And the Ravens win the tip. NATHAN : Ball! Ball! Skills, give me the ball! Ball! Come on! LUCAS : Give me the ball, men! MOUTH : Lucas Scott with the first basket of the night. He looked a lot like the old Lucas on that shot. Another turnover by Nathan Scott, and Jarvis slams it home. Pontiac leads by 9. NATHAN : Ball! Ball! Ball! Come on, give me the ball! MOUTH : Skills takes it to the hoop and scores. The Ravens still trail by 10. Jarvis beats Scott again for another slam dunk. Lucas Scott with another shot in. He sure picked the right night to have his best game of the season. Still, the Ravens are digging a deep hole against this great Pontiac team. THE HOSPITAL Brooke and Peyton are waiting for Haley BROOKE : So, what exactly did he say to you... Lucas, when you told him. PEYTON : Oh. BROOKE : What? PEYTON : He said, "oh." BROOKE : Boys can be so dumb. PEYTON : Yeah, well, I probably shouldn't have been surprised. I asked him once who he wanted next to him when his dreams came true. He said you. BROOKE : Why would you tell me that? PEYTON : I would have given anything to hear him say me. INSIDE THE GYM The game is still on MOUTH : Scott tries to double-team, but Hays beats it, and Pontiac scores again. SKILLS : Hey, Nate how about you get off the floor, man? NATHAN : Why don't you get off my ass? SKILLS : How about I beat your ass instead? NATHAN : Come on, I dare you. (Skills and Nathan start fighting) MOUTH : Just before halftime, and a fight has broken out between the Tree Hill Ravens... and the Tree Hill Ravens. Well, that's how we started this season. I guess that's how we'll end it. At the half end, Pontiac's leading Tree Hill, 36... to 21. SPORTS ANNOUNCER (voiceover) : I have to say it's incredibly unfortunate how the Ravens have come apart at the seams. After hanging together through thick and thin, through good times and bad, for these Ravens to fall this far is stunning. And the worst thing about it all is this... I mean, after a stellar career, perhaps the best ever to wear a Ravens uniform, you find yourself questioning Scott's character. To walk away from the game on these terms is shameful. It's a disgrace, really. Whitey Durham is the picture of a broken man, and you have to wonder if this opportunity will ever come around again for the Tree Hill Ravens. THE BOYS LOCKER ROOM Whitey turn off the radio WHITEY : That was 18 years ago. Most of you weren't even born yet. Back then, I didn't know that there'd only be one chance to erase those words... this chance. The rest of your life is a long time. If you lose, you lose. But don't lose this way... playing selfish, bickering with each other on the court. I promise you... it'll stay with you. It'll stay with you. INSIDE THE GYM The team goes back to the game. Haley catches Nathan HALEY : Six turnovers... that's not the Nathan Scott I know. NATHAN : I got worried when I didn't see you. It's okay. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. NATHAN : I need to ask you a question. If I don't go to Duke, if I don't play college basketball... I mean, if today is the best it ever gets for me... will that be enough? HALEY : Of course. Nathan, as long as you're a good husband and a good father... to your son. It's a boy, Nathan. You're gonna have a son. Although, I have to tell you, someday he's gonna tease his father for playing like crap in the state championship. You might want to change that. Later, the game is on again MOUTH : And Nathan Scott has come out on fire in the second half, taking the ball to the hole on the Ravens' first three possessions. Pontiac's lead cut to 9. LUCAS : What do you think you're doing? NATHAN : Trying to win this game. You gonna help me? LUCAS : No. But you can help me. MOUTH : A steal by Lucas Scott, and the Ravens are heating up. GIGI : Oh, they're already hot, Mouth. MOUTH : Another dunk by Jarvis Hays, and the Pontiac team goes back to 11. Taylor knocks the ball away. Lucas Scott heaves a long pass to Nathan Scott, who slams it with authority. Ravens back within 9. Pass Skills to Scott, who lays it in. What teamwork. And the lead now only 5 with time running out in the third period. With just under six minutes left in the game... Skills to Scott, to Scott, and yes! Another basket and the Ravens strike back at Pontiac once again. We're early in the fourth quarter, and we got ourselves a ball game. [SCENE_BREAK] REHAB CENTER Deb is waking up in a room SPORTS ANNOUNCER : Tree Hill has whittled the once-commanding Pontiac academy lead down to 5 now. NURSE : It's okay, Mrs. Scott. Welcome back. DEB : Back to where? NURSE : You're in a chemical-dependency treatment facility. If it helps... your son is playing great. (The TV is on) SPORTS ANNOUNCER : Nathan Scott has really turned it on here in the second half, leading his team's comeback. INSIDE DAN'S CAR He left the game and decides to turn on the radio MOUTH : Well, if you stuck around, you've been rewarded as Nathan Scott is leading the Ravens on what just might be the greatest turnaround in state championship history. (Dan makes a U-turn) INSIDE THE GYM The game is still on THE CROWD : Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! BEAR : They won't win. The kid's just making it close. DAUNTE : Bear, I sincerely hope you're right. MOUTH : Pontiac trying to seal the victory. Jarvis' shot. Blocked by Lucas Scott! Out of bounds, but Pontiac's still in possession. WHITEY : Skills, go back in for Lucas. MOUTH : Looks like coach Durham's putting Skills Taylor back in the game for Lucas Scott. LUCAS : Come on, coach, we're almost all the way back. I know I'm only supposed to play 15 minutes, but this is my last game. WHITEY : Feeling good? LUCAS : I feel great. WHITEY : Good. Let's keep it that way. Have a seat. WHITEY (shouting) : Let's zone up the inbounds! (Karen enters the gym) MOUTH : Skills Taylor with a deep 3! Wow! Ravens within 2 points with only 1:45 left in the game. Pontiacs with the ball. Clock winding down. Jarvis to the hoop! Rejected by Scott! Controlled by the Ravens. Oh, my, Ravens with the ball! Birds trail by 2, 23 seconds left! Time out WHITEY : You have made a hell of a comeback. You played as team. Even if we lose this thing, it's still a damn fine moral victory. Now, maybe that's okay with you. Maybe you want to look back and tell your grandkids about the state championship you almost won. NATHAN : No way. We're winning this game, right, Luke? LUCAS : You tell me. NATHAN : We're winning this game. WHITEY : All right. Lucas, by my count, you've played about 14 1/2 minutes. You got 23 seconds left in you? LUCAS : Yes, sir. WHITEY : All right. Listen up. Nathan... With the cheerleaders BROOKE : Okay, partner, just breathe. Can't have you popping out another cheerleader right now. HALEY : It's a boy. BROOKE : What? HALEY : I'm having a boy. PEYTON : Haley! BROOKE : Haley! MOUTH : You know, say what you will about the ravages of sports in this corporate age where overpaid athletes expect prima donna treatment, but there is still something so unifying about sport in its purest form... when athletes rise above themselves and touch greatness and, in doing so, remind us all that we also have greatness inside of us. GIGI : You're sexy when you talk like that. End of the time out TEAM : 1, 2, 3... Ravens! THE CROWD : Let's go, Ravens, let's go! Let's go, Ravens, let's go! (Dan enters the gym again) THE CROWD : Let's go, Ravens, let's go! LUCAS : Hey... it doesn't mean anything if you can't hit the shot. NATHAN : Sounds familiar. LUCAS : Let's do this, little brother. MOUTH : Okay, this is it. 10,000 people now stand in unison as the Ravens need a basket to tie and force overtime or a 3-pointer to win it. Nathan Scott has the ball out top. 20 seconds left. What's it gonna be? DAUNTE : Okay, kid. What's it gonna be? MOUTH : 10 seconds left on the clock now. Nathan kicks it out to Skills. Now 5 seconds! Skills passes back to Nathan. Nathan has it! Nathan Scott drives for the hoop! He passes to Lucas for a 3 and the win! (Lucas makes the shot) MOUTH : It's good! I don't believe it! Lucas Scott drains a 3-pat the buzzer, and the Tree Hill Ravens are champions at last! Gigi, can you... We win! We win! Everybody comes to the field, confetti falls SKILLS : Who the man, baby? BEVIN : You're the man, baby. NATHAN : Haley! HALEY : You did it! NATHAN : We did it. (They kiss) BROOKE : Luke! LUCAS : Oh, my god! Oh, this is amazing! BROOKE : Yeah! This is a dream come true. So who do you want standing next to you? (He looks at Peyton) BROOKE : Go. It's okay. Go. (Lucas goes to see Peyton) PEYTON : Hey! Nice shot. LUCAS : Nice legs... a little chickeny. (They hug) PEYTON : Well, I'll be seeing you. Flashback to the pilot, when Lucas won his game against Nathan LUCAS : I'll be seeing you. Come back to the present LUCAS : Hey, Peyton! It's you. PEYTON : What? BROOKE : When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me... it's you. It's you, Peyton. (They kiss) Later, everybody left the gym. Daunte and Bear are still sitting in the gallery. Dan joins them DAN : Look, I want to make a deal with you, try to make things right. DAUNTE : You don't have that kind of money or power. DAN : I'm not an idiot. I know you have people to answer to. But you built your plan on the shoulders of a kid with a dream. Can't blame him for going a little weak in the knees. DAUNTE : Weak? You think he looked weak? 'Cause he looked pretty damn strong to me. I'll be in touch. (Dan starts leaving) DAUNTE : You know, I didn't pick Nathan because he was the star of the team. I picked him 'cause he was Dan Scott's son. Turns out the kid actually has a soul. Never would have bet on that. INSIDE THE CAFÉ After the game, everybody is at the Café. Lucas is sitting at the bar, Nathan joins him NATHAN : You and Peyton together now? I saw the kiss. LUCAS : Maybe. NATHAN : It's about time, man. LUCAS : Hey. You played like a champ tonight. NATHAN : I played like half a champ. If you wouldn't have made that shot, I would have never forgiven myself, so thank you. LUCAS : So what are you gonna do about Daunte? NATHAN : I don't know. Deal with it, I guess. Whatever he does to me, I can take it. Besides, if this was the last game I ever played, at least it was a good one, right? Brooke is sitting with Rachel. Haley comes to see them HALEY : Hey, we're gonna take off. I'm getting kind of tired. BROOKE : Ok HALEY : Thanks for taking care of me tonight. BROOKE : Yeah. RACHEL : No big deal. I mean, if you died, who would tutor me? HALEY : Actually, it reminds me I graded your quiz. You got a 94. Good job. RACHEL : Thanks. Oh, hey. Don't forget your purse. HALEY : There it is. Thank you. (Haley leave) BROOKE : 94. Nice job, Fondle-Me Elmo. Maybe you're not such a dum-dum after all. RACHEL : Got a present for you. It's the transcript I got in the mail. (Rachel gives her the mail) BROOKE : Okay. Hey, you're getting a "B" in gym. RACHEL : Look at the name. BROOKE : What? RACHEL : I could pass calculus in my sleep. You're the one flunking out, Penelope. BROOKE : Then why are you getting tutored? RACHEL : So I could get you this. (She shows her a key) RACHEL : And this, my dumb friend, is the key to the cabinet with the answers that we're gonna steal. Unless, of course, you don't want to graduate. Lucas is with Haley LUCAS : So how is my little nephew? HALEY : Fine. How's his uncle's heart? LUCAS : Ah, it's fine. (Peyton joins them) PEYTON : How you feeling, Haley? LUCAS : Hales. You know my girlfriend, Peyton, right? PEYTON : Oh, god. (Peyton, embarrassed, leaves) HALEY : What? You... since when? LUCAS : Since now, I hope. Well, I'll let you know. (Lucas goes after Peyton) LUCAS : Hey, Peyton, can I talk to you for a second? PEYTON : Yeah. (Lucas takes her to the back shop, and starts kissing her) PEYTON : Okay, I'm liking this conversation. LUCAS : Would you like to have it exclusively? PEYTON : Sure. With who? LUCAS : By the way, I forgot how much of a good kisser you are. PEYTON : Well, maybe you should come by later, and I'll remind you for a few hours. LUCAS : I'd like that. This is good, isn't it? Us. PEYTON : It's perfect. (Peyton leaves) Dan comes to help Karen DAN : Whoa, whoa, stop it. You can't be doing this. KAREN : Uh, I've been doing this for 17 years, Dan. DAN : Then it's time to take a night off. Seriously, you're pregnant. It's been a big day. Let Lucas and me lock up. It'll get you off your feet and give me a chance to spend some time with our son. KAREN : Okay. (Karen leaves and Nathan joins Dan) NATHAN : Hey, dad. Haley and I are about to leave, but I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. I couldn't do it. DAN : Don't be sorry. You be proud of that victory. I'll deal with Daunte. (Nathan and Haley leave the Café) Dan and Lucas are cleaning up DAN : So, Lucas, how does it feel to win the state championship? Always wanted a second chance at that... and at this. LUCAS : Feels surprisingly good. DAN : Which one, being the state champ or talking to your old man? LUCAS : Both. Just wish Keith were here, too. OUTSIDE THE CAFÉ Nathan and Haley are walking NATHAN : So the doctor said you're fine, you and the baby? HALEY : Yeah. We're fine. We are all gonna be fine. (We see Daunte in his car, starting his engine) NATHAN : Listen... there's a reason that I played so bad tonight at first. HALEY : What do you mean? (Daunte drives directly in their direction) HALEY : Nathan, look out! (Haley pushes Nathan but she's hitting by the car) NATHAN : Haley! (Daunte loses control of his car and crash not far from them) NATHAN : Haley! Baby! Baby! Haley! Oh, god! (Lucas comes out of the Café and runs toward them) LUCAS : Nathan, what happened?! NATHAN : They just hit her, man! LUCAS : I'll call 911! (Nathan looks at the car) NATHAN : Lucas, stay with her. (Nathan runs to the car, finds Daunte unconscious, throws him out of the car) NATHAN : Son of a bitch! What did you do?! (He punches him several times until Dan stops him) DAN : Nathan! He's dead. You killed him, son. (They hear the police coming) DAN : Go on. NATHAN : Dad. DAN : Haley needs you, Nathan. Your child needs you. Go! (Nathan leave and Dan hit the ground with his hand before the police arrive) (The paramedics start taking care of Haley) LUCAS : She's been hit by a car. You got to help her. She's pregnant. PARAMEDIC 1 : What's her name? LUCAS : Uh... uh, Haley. PARAMEDIC 1 : How long has she been pregnant? LUCAS : I don't know. A few... A f... a f... (Lucas pass out) PARAMEDIC 2 : Passed out. I got him. Hold on. Heart's not beating. I got a full cardiac arrest. Requesting backup. (The paramedic starts CPR) SPORTS ANNOUNCER : Time is running out now, and I tell you, you got to feel for Nathan Scott. I mean, sure, he has made some mistakes, but you get the sense that if this is how it ends, he's never gonna forgive himself. And Lucas Scott is being swarmed! I wouldn't doubt it if they didn't carry the kid out of here tonight and never bring him back. I have never seen some of these kids so happy. And can you blame them? They've been waiting a long time for this moment. PEYTON'S BEDROOM Peyton is smiling, listening to the radio. Brooke walks in BROOKE : Lucas and Haley are in the hospital. It's bad, Peyton. It's really bad. SPORTS ANNOUNCER : And there at the center of it all is Whitey Durham standing alone, taking it all in. Ladies and gentlemen, the Tree Hill Ravens are champions at last. And there's not a dry eye in the house.	Plan: A: the championship; Q: What do the Ravens prepare for? A: Lucas; Q: Who learns Nathan is going to throw the game? A: a risky plan; Q: What does Lucas decide to do to even the odds? A: Karen; Q: Who insists Deb show up for her son's final game? A: Dan; Q: Who makes a last plea with Daunte? A: La Rocca; Q: Who wrote the song that inspired the episode? Summary: As the Ravens prepare for the championship, Lucas learns Nathan intends to throw the game and decides on a risky plan to even the odds. Karen insists Deb show up for her son's final game and tries to help her get there. Dan makes a last plea with Daunte. This episode is named after a song by La Rocca.
Flashback, 1110 [The Woods] (Various men are reunited around a witch, who's casting a spell. There's thunder. She pours something on the ground. A tattoo spreads on each man's body) Nowadays [Salvatore's House] (Stefan is looking at one of Connor's stakes with a symbol carved on it. Damon enters, a box in his hands) Stefan: So what is all this? Damon: Some personal items that I snaked from the vampire hunter's rv. May he rest in peace. I'm searching for a supernatural handbook Stefan: You know for a fact he was supernatural? Damon: Definitely wasn't natural. The guy magically appears just as someone blows up the entire founders' council, covered in a tattoo that only Jeremy Gilbert, of all people in the world, seems to be able to see. Klaus mentioned something about him being one of the five. And then he kamikazes himself with explosives. Seem natural to you? Stefan: What's the five? Damon: That's what I'm hoping is in the first chapter of the handbook (Damon's phone rings. He looks at it and answers. It's Liz) Damon: Liz Forbes, my favorite sheriff. What? That's... Concerning. Keep me posted (He hangs up but doesn't say anything) Stefan: What, you're not going to tell me? Damon: I can't tell you. It's private. We're in a fight Stefan: You're in a fight; I'm not in a fight. I'm over it. I've been over it Damon: You're not still mad at me about Elena? Stefan: You let her feed on you. I'm always going to be mad at you. But we're not in a fight Damon: Very well, then. They didn't find any remains at the explosion site Stefan: So Connor's still out there Damon: Apparently so. I'm going to need you to get on this today. I have to take Elena to college Stefan: I'm sorry, you have to do what, exactly? Damon: I'm teaching her how to feed. She needs to learn snatch, eat, erase now more than ever. Ah. We're not in a fight, remember? [The woods] (Elena is with Stefan) Elena: I know it's crazy, but I almost killed Matt last night. Damon had to rip me off of him and then compel him to forget. Call it doppelganger curse or whatever, but I can't drink animal blood. I can't drink from a blood bag. I can only drink from the vein (She bends and an arrow goes into the tree) Stefan: A little slow. Almost got you (She removes the arrow) Elena: That's why we're not using the wood ones for hunter defense class (She throws the arrow at him but misses him. She smiles and he puts the crossbow on the ground) Stefan: What about Caroline? She's a genius at self-control Elena: She's too good. She doesn't understand how hard it is. And you, well, I know what being around too much blood does to you, so... I can't put you through that (He rushes toward her and takes her from behind with the arrow) Stefan: Hmm. So I guess that leaves Damon, huh? (She makes him fall and sits above him) Elena: Don't be jealous. You know I wish it could be you Stefan: Fine. You wish it could be me Elena: We're crashing Bonnie's trip to Whitmore College. The Professor that took over her gram's classes? He invited her. Listen to me. You're the one who's getting me through this. No matter who teaches me how to feed Stefan: All right. Just be careful, ok? The blood, the feed... It's easy to get caught up in it Elena: I will. I promise [Mystic Grill] (Matt is working. Rebekah arrives and puts keys on the bar) Matt: What's that? Rebekah: The key to your new truck. It's parked outside, paid for, insured, everything but a big red bow Matt: If that's your idea of an apology... You should probably give it to Elena. She's the one you killed (He leaves. Klaus is at the bar, looking at her) Klaus: You're trying too hard Rebekah: Last I heard, you were leaving town... forever Klaus: Well, I was. But then I thought to myself, how can I when my sister, clearly so desperate for love and affection, is left here... Bribing the help Rebekah: What do you want, Nik? I thought I was dead to you Klaus: Things change, Rebekah. I've stumbled upon something I think might be of interest to you Rebekah: Doubt that Klaus: No? Well, what if I told you the brotherhood of the five still existed? Rebekah: What? Klaus: You see? And like that, bygones. Come on, love. Work to do Rebekah: We don't have anything to do. There is no "we". I don't care about the five, and I don't care about you Klaus: As you wish (He leaves) [Whitmore College] (Damon parks the car. He goes out with Elena and Bonnie. Elena looks at Bonnie) Elena: Are you sure that you're okay with this? Bonnie: If I could spell you out of wanting blood, I would. But I can't, so better you doing this now than at freshman orientation Elena: Something tells me that college isn't in my future anymore Damon: Oh, stop with the pity party. If I can go to college, you can go to college Bonnie: You? Went to college? Damon: Sure. Plenty of times. I always had a thing for sorority girls Bonnie: You're disgusting Damon: I know (A classroom. Professor Shane is teaching a class) Professor Shane: I say the word "witch", what pops into your head? Halloween costume? Villain of a fairy tale? Maybe an ex-girlfriend? Well, whatever image it is, it's probably not Tanielle Soso... (He shows a picture. Elena, Bonnie and Damon take seats) Elena: Is that him? Bonnie: Yeah Elena: He's kind of... Bonnie: Hot (Elena smiles. Damon looks at them and rolls his eyes) Professor Shane: I'm an admittedly crappy photographer. Now, in reality, or in this reality, at least, witches have appeared across every culture in history. They're the architects of the supernatural. Responsible for everything that goes bump in the night, from ghosts to vampires to doppelgangers... Damon: What is this guy, witchipedia? (Elena chuckles. Bonnie looks at him) Bonnie: Shh, shut up Professor Shane: Now, if you're a skeptic, you'd call that a coincidence. But if you're a true believer... You know what, there really isn't such thing Elena: What if I'm... A ripper? Damon: You're not a ripper Elena: What if I am? Damon: Well, then, pick someone and we'll find out. Stoner guys are no good to grab. They're too paranoid and you don't want the extra buzz. Now, she is fun-sized. But too alert. Geeky girls are inherently suspicious of anyone who's nice to them. What you want is the little blonde, pretty girl. Self-absorbed, easily flattered. You just have to separate her from the pack and make your move (Professor Shane looks at them) Professor Shane: Am I interrupting you guys? Or is it maybe the other way around? Damon: Sorry. I was just saying how much I love witches Professor Shane: Yeah, you and me both, brother. All right, listen, we should probably talk about the readings that none of you did (Elena and Damon look at each other. She smiles) [Klaus' Mansion] (Klaus enters a room. Connor is chained up against a wooden device. He looks at Connor) Klaus: Looks like I'll have to beef up the hybrid security detail (Stefan is here) Stefan: I was going to take him, but I figured you went through such trouble to truss him up in your red room of pain Klaus: It's from the inquisition. I thought it was a nice touch Stefan: What'd you get out of him? Klaus: Not enough. He's mum about the council fire and he's not saying anything about this greater evil we're all supposed to be shivering over. What brings you snooping? Stefan: Well, I can't say it in front of him. As I'm sure you've figured out, our friend here can't be compelled (Connor looks at Klaus) Klaus: You're full of mysteries, aren't you? Connor: I told you, I don't know anything Klaus: Thankfully, I know plenty. Shall we? (Klaus closes the doors) Klaus: So what's with the home invasion? Stefan: Damon said you knew something about this guy. I should have figured you were up to something when you healed Elena from the werewolf poison without asking for anything in return Klaus: I was feeling benevolent Stefan: You're never benevolent. Who is this guy? What's the five? Klaus: So many questions Stefan: It's a good thing I have nothing to do today except get answers out of you Klaus: Fine. You might actually be useful in persuading my sister to cooperate. The brotherhood of the five was a group of highly skilled vampire hunters. We crossed paths with them in the twelfth century. Italy. My siblings and I had followed the Normans as they conquered the South. Feeding, turning people as we went Flashback Italy, 1114 (Klaus and Elijah are walking and stop in front of a stage. People are gathered and one of the hunters is talking on a stage) Hunter: These demons live among you. Passing as human Klaus (Voiceover): But with the bloodshed came exposure The hunter: So witness with your own eyes... (He opens a box. A vampire is inside and goes out. He burns in the sun and screams. Everyone's screaming. The hunter is looking at him) Elijah: He's putting on quite the show Klaus: He's nothing. I could eat him for sport Elijah: Still, you should heed the warning. Between you here and Kol in the east, you have not been discreet. Stories of the original vampires are spreading Klaus: If you're worried about discretion, perhaps you should wrangle our sister (The hunter is kissing Rebekah's hand. She smiles. She takes his arm and they leave) Nowadays [Klaus' Mansion] Stefan: So these hunters have been around for 900 years? Klaus: Apparently. Well, our friend in the other room is the first I've seen since then. Kind of makes you wonder what they've been up to all these years Stefan: And Rebekah had a thing with one of them? Klaus: Oh, she didn't just have a thing. She fell in love with him. He told her all his secrets. Which I will gladly share with you... Provided you do one thing for me Stefan: And what's that? Klaus: Get Rebekah over here. She's being stubborn. And hateful. I need to make peace with her. I want her to give me some very important information about the hunter, which she won't do unless she believes we've made up Stefan: And... What's in it for me? Klaus: Just get her here and I'll tell you. Oh, and Stefan... Trust me when I say this... that hunter in there holds the answer to all your prayers [Mystic Grill] (April is at a table, doing her homework. Matt sops at her table) Matt: Hey, April. Can I get you some more water? April: I'm good. I'm not just sitting here alone like the loser new girl. I'm with my friend. She just... (Rebekah arrives and sits down in front of her) Rebekah: Sorry. Family drama Matt: You two are friends? Rebekah: Is it so hard to believe I would have one? Matt: Yeah. It is. And I'm keeping the truck (He leaves. April looks at him) Rebekah: Hey, off limits! I have dibs (Stefan arrives and compels April) Stefan: You won't remember any of this (He looks at Rebekah) Stefan: Klaus wants me to fake peace with you so you'll talk about the five Rebekah: Yeah, I bet. Don't help him. He'll just betray you. It's what he does Stefan: All right, well, forget him. Help me instead Rebekah: Why? You hate me more than he does Stefan: Because I'm going to figure out what he's up to. And plus I can give you the one thing that he won't Rebekah: And what's that? Stefan: A clean slate. I'm not saying that I'm willing to forgive you for what you did to Elena, but I'm willing to set it aside and start over Rebekah: Why would you do that? Stefan: Because you're obviously not leaving town any time soon, and I'm just looking for a way we can all get along. Plus, you can't be too happy wandering around school with no friends Rebekah: Well, what if I don't care what you or anyone else thinks? Stefan: Well, I'm pretty sure that you care what, uh, Matt over there thinks. So maybe I can talk to him about a clean slate, too [Whitmore College] (Damon and Elena are walking behind the blond girl from Professor's Shane class) Damon: She's young and healthy; she'll heal up like a charm. Just keep your eye on the ball Elena: It's not a game, Damon Damon: Fine, it's not a game; it's a high-stakes dangerous maneuver. Now, just go. Just like we practiced. That's all you have to do (She catches up with the girl) Elena: Hey! You're in my anthro class, right? Girl: Uh, yeah. I guess so Elena: I, uh, totally spaced and forgot to get the reading list. Do you have it? Girl: Sure. Let me check (Elena compels her) Elena: This isn't going to hurt. Please don't scream (Elena looks at a picture on the girl's phone) Elena: Who's that? Girl: It's my little sister (Elena compels her) Elena: Get out of here. Go back to class (The girl leaves) Damon: What the hell are you doing? Elena: I just... I saw the picture, and I... Damon: Everybody is someone's Uncle or father or camp counselor or Bible study teacher. Elena, you don't know these people. Why do you care? Elena: I care because I'm still me! I still have the same feelings, Damon. Sorry if that spoils your master plan to turn me into a super vampire (Bonnie rejoins them) Bonnie: What's going on? Damon: Nothing. Elena's educating me on the importance of feelings Elena: Did you talk to the Professor? Bonnie: For a second. He found some stuff of my grams in his office and he's going to dig it up for me. Oh, uh, this (She gives her a flyer for a murder house party. Damon looks at it) Damon: Oh, nice. The answer to all of our problems. A frat party, douche central. Which is why you'll be eating very well tonight. So what should we go as? Victims or killers? [Klaus' Mansion] (Klaus is looking at Connor, still chained up) Klaus: You feeling all right, mate? Are the shackles too tight? Welcome home, sister (Rebekah enters with Stefan) Rebekah: This is a trick? How do you know he's one of the five? Where's his bloody tattoo? Klaus: Oh, the tattoos aren't visible on this lot like they were on the last. Let's eat (Klaus, Rebekah and Stefan are sitting at a table) Klaus: Thank you, my lovely. I could kiss the council for burning up all the vervain in town. They made my life so much easier. Rebekah, love, eat your veggies Rebekah: I'm not eating till you apologize Klaus: For which indiscretion? There have been so many Rebekah: You broke my neck Klaus: You threw away Elena's blood so I can't make any more hybrids Rebekah: 'Cause you took me for granted! Klaus: That's what big brothers do, sweetheart! Stefan: Let me just name the million other people I'd rather be having dinner with right now Klaus: All right, fine. I'm sorry. I often forget how delicate you are. Forgive me? Rebekah: I'll take it under consideration Stefan: Ok, good. Ahem. Now, why don't you tell me about Rebekah's hunter? Klaus: Right. Alexander. Nice chap, forgoing the obvious issues. He was looking for creatures of the night, which is why we felt quite safe around him wearing our daylight rings Flashback Italy, 1114 (Alexander, Rebekah, Klaus and Elijah are sitting at a table outside) Alexander: I'm unaccustomed to such luxury Elijah: Well, it's the least we could to repay you for opening our eyes to the truth. We're curious to hear more about your order. Your crusade Alexander: We are but five men. Bound by fire and the last breath of a dying witch to a single cause. The destruction of all vampires Klaus: And how do you hope to achieve this? Alexander: We have the ultimate weapon, which no vampire can survive Nowadays [Klaus' Mansion] Stefan: So, that's what this is about? A weapon? Rebekah: Not just any weapon Klaus: Rebekah, love, don't get ahead of the story Stefan: How is a weapon the answer to all of my prayers? (Klaus and Rebekah looks at each other) Stefan: Why don't we just skip with the theatrics and get right to the point? Klaus: Not quite yet. Because in order to find this weapon, we need to solve the puzzle, which seems to have disappeared Stefan: What puzzle? (Klaus looks at him) Stefan: The tattoo. What is it? Klaus: A map. Leading us to its treasure Rebekah: Fat lot of good a tattoo's going to do if we can't see it Klaus: We can't, but someone else can. Why don't you tell the hybrid to bring him in, love? You see, the hunter was so eager to get to the bottom of his mystery tattoos that he mentioned there was only one other person who could see them (A hybrid enters with Jeremy. Stefan rushes to get to him but Klaus is faster) Klaus: I wouldn't. Lucky for us, young Jeremy here is a bit of an artist Jeremy: I'm not helping you with anything Klaus: I'm afraid you are [SCENE_BREAK] [Whitmore College] (Elena, Damon and Bonnie arrive at the party, all dressed-up. A guy meets them at the entrance, a big glass in his hand) Guy: Hey. I'm Frankie. Unassuming serial killer Damon: I'm Jack. And these are the two lovely ladies I just... Rippered Frankie: Welcome to the murder house. Bloody Mary's free until midnight. Enjoy yourselves Damon: Well, hats off to these idiots (He sees Professor Shane) Damon: Oh, look, there's Professor creepy Bonnie: His name is Professor Shane, and he's not creepy. I'm going to go talk to him Damon: You do that (She gives him her glass and goes rejoin the professor) Damon: Inebriated sleaze balls all covered in blood. Come on, pick one (She looks around and sees a guy put something in a girl's drink while she isn't looking) Elena: I think I found one Damon: Roofie guy? Nice choice. Go get 'em (She goes towards him and runs into him) Elena: I'm sorry. Drink? Guy: Sure (She looks at him, smiling and leaves. He follows her. She's alone, drinking. He's with her) Guy: Great party, right? Elena: Yeah (He comes toward her but she pushes him against a wall. She compels him) Elena: You're not going to make a sound (She bites him and drinks. Damon enters) Damon: Now remember, the idea is not to kill him. Elena! Elena, step away from the ledge. Elena! (She stops and compels the guy) Elena: Leave and forget about this (She smiles and wipes her mouth) Damon: Nice touch. How do you feel? Elena: I feel good (She smiles. Damon seems happy about it. She embraces him, laughing) Elena: I want more [Klaus' Mansion] (Connor is still chained up. Jeremy is drawing his tattoo) Connor: You set me up at the hospital. Led me to a trap. Why? Jeremy: You were trying to hurt people who are important to me Connor: Important to you? That vampire just threatened to kill you. I don't understand how you could see the tattoo if you're a sympathizer Jeremy: What exactly do you understand? 'Cause a couple days ago, you seemed to have all the answers and now you're no jack. Where did this tattoo come from? Why am I the only one who can see it? Connor: Years ago, I met someone with a mark. Claimed he had this intense desire to kill vampires. Like it was ingrained in his DNA. Told me the same thing I told you... if I could see the mark, I was a potential Jeremy: Who was he? Connor: Just a guy I served in Iraq with. I lost track of him, and then one day... The tattoo just showed up on me. It started on my hand, but the more vampires I killed, the more it spread, like... Like it was trying to tell me something. I just... I just don't know what (Klaus, Stefan and Rebekah are still sitting at the table) Stefan: So tell me more about this tattoo Klaus: My sister's suitor was unwilling to tell us anything. Rebekah, however, was more than willing to... Investigate, isn't that right? Flashback (Rebekah is in bed with Alexander. They're kissing. She touches his chest and looks at the symbol) Rebekah: How do you read these symbols? Alexander: The map took my brothers and I years to translate. The sword... Is the key to reading it. Have you considered my offer? To come with me when I leave to follow the map? Rebekah: I have. And I would like that very much (He smiles and she kisses him. She sees a dagger and a vial of ash on the nightstand) Rebekah: What is that? Alexander: Oh, that? That... Is a very special weapon. For a very special kind of vampire. When my brotherhood has achieved its destiny, those monsters will cease to exist. Until then, we have the daggers Rebekah: Do you really believe they're all so evil they must be put down? Alexander: Let us not talk of such evil. Let us do this (He kisses her) Alexander: Mmm. And this (They kiss again) Alexander: And this (He drives the dagger through her heart. She's desiccating) Nowadays [Klaus' mansion] Klaus: My sister's boyfriend threw a slumber party that night. He and his brothers put us all down in our sleep. Elijah, Kol, Finn... And me Rebekah: How was I supposed to know? (He raises his glass) Klaus: Cheers. To my sister's uncanny ability to choose men Stefan: I thought the daggers didn't work on you because of your werewolf side Klaus: They don't Flashback (Rebekah wakes up. Klaus is there, covered in blood) Rebekah: What happened? Klaus: Ask him (He moves. Alexander is dead, stabbed by his own sword against the wall. Rebekah is shocked) Klaus: Only, he cannot answer because I have ripped out his tongue, along with the rest of them Rebekah: Nik, I had no idea! Klaus: But you should have. Your only family was nearly wiped out because of your stupidity! What did he promise you? Rebekah: Nothing. Nothing Klaus: He would not have made a move unless he knew you were vulnerable. You trusted him... Over me! What did he promise you? Rebekah: Nothing, Nik, I swear! Klaus: What did he promise you?! Tell me, Rebekah! Nowadays [Klaus' Mansion] Klaus: Go ahead, Rebekah, tell him. Tell him what the hunter told you the tattoo leads to. What's this great weapon that could bring about the end of the vampire species? Rebekah: A cure. He said there was a cure Stefan: There is no cure for vampirism Rebekah: I'm telling the truth, Stefan Stefan: Then why wouldn't you have searched for it, found it? Klaus: Because when the hunters drew their final breath that night, the marks disappeared from their body. The map was gone, the brotherhood of the five extinct. For 900 years, there was not a whisper of another hunter until our friend in there showed up in town Rebekah: Well, now we have the map, what do we do next? Klaus: We don't do anything. You can't be trusted, little sister. You'll be blabbing this secret to the first boy who calls you pretty. I mean, it's pathetic, really, isn't it? How she continues to hand her heart to any man who shows her a hint of affection. You think she would have learned by now from the endless cycle of disappointment and deception! Rebekah: But I haven't! Instead I stay with you and let you leech every moment of happiness from my life. You know, at least I fared better than Finn. Klaus left him daggered because he was tired of his judgment Klaus: No, Finn was a dullard. He's more interesting lying in a box Rebekah: You want the cure for Elena, don't you? So you can go back to mass producing your hybrids. That's why you brought Stefan in, 'cause you knew he'd help you even though he hates your guts. You know what, you can shove your cure (She leaves. Klaus smiles and looks at Stefan) Stefan: Well, I hope you got what you wanted out of her before you chased her off Klaus: She never would have told me what I needed to know. But she'll tell you Stefan: What do you need me to find out? Klaus: The map is useless without the tool to decipher it Stefan: The sword Klaus: She knows where it is. And you're going to get her to tell you. You have a chance to save Elena from the very thing that's going to destroy her. You can call it a deal with the devil if you like but you know you won't walk away from it [Whitmore College] (Professor Shane and Bonnie enter his classroom) Professor Shane: I put your grandmother's stuff around here somewhere. There were a couple family photos and a first edition Stephen king. Did you know she liked "cujo"? Bonnie: This is amazing. It's all stuff you picked up on your travels? Professor Shane: Yeah. I, uh, I do this thing. It's like a one man traveling occult exhibit to small towns. It funds my crazy Indiana Jones adventures (She looks at a picture of her and her grandmother) Professor Shane: Do you practice? Like she did? I'm a true believer. Just don't tell anyone Bonnie: No, I don't practice. Not anymore. I lost control of myself and there were consequences Professor Shane: Witches love their consequences, don't they? You know, there are other ways to practice magic. If you're interested Bonnie: Are you... Professor Shane: No. No, no, no. I'm just, uh, I'm just a guy with a very open mind who has seen a lot of things. And I'm willing to test some of them out. If you are (Damon and Elena are dancing and drinking blood. She's dancing with a girl and compels her) Elena: Don't scream. This isn't going to hurt (She bites her neck and drinks her blood. She releases her, dances and smiles. Damon rejoins her and they dance together. They both have blood on their mouthes. She licks her finger while they dance. Bonnie enters and watches them. Elena sees her. Bonnie watches her, shocked. Elena stops) Elena: Oh my god (Damon touches her face) Elena: Oh my god (She leaves. Damon watches her leaves. She passes by Bonnie) Elena: I have to get out of here (She leaves. Bonnie watches Damon. He dances) [Klaus' Mansion] (Klaus enters the room where Connor is imprisoned. Jeremy is still drawing. Klaus looks at the drawing) Klaus: Nice lines. Now, if you could just hurry it up a little bit Jeremy: I'm done Klaus: What is this? Jeremy: It's the tattoo Klaus: I've seen the tattoo, you repugnant punk. There's more to it Jeremy: That's all of it. He said every time he kills a vampire, it spreads (Klaus looks at Connor) Klaus: Nate! (A hybrid enters) Klaus: Tell the girl to take Jeremy home. Keep this one alive at all costs (He leaves. Jeremy leaves the room with the hybrid. Connor tries to get rid of his chains. The hybrid enters) Nate: Looks like you got too much leash. You're not going anywhere, so you might as well stop the racket (He tries to touch the chains but Connor bites his ear and has a piece in his mouth) Nate: You're lucky I can't kill you. Freak (He leaves and slams the door. Connor takes the hybrid's piercing from his mouth) [Whitmore College] (Elena is outside with Bonnie) Elena: Who am I? Why am I acting like this? Bonnie: Because you listened to Damon and Damon makes everything he wants sound like a good idea Elena: I should be here with Stefan. I shouldn't be here with him. I should be going through all this with Stefan (Damon arrives) Damon: I'm guessing we should hit the road Bonnie: You were supposed to help her, and you let her get completely out of control Damon: She's not out of control, she was having fun Bonnie: This isn't fun. She's acting like a different person! Damon: She is a different person! She's a vampire. We're a predatory species. We enjoy the hunt, the feed, and the kill. And when the guilt gets too bad, we switch off our humanity and we revel in it Bonnie: Is that what you want? Her to be like you? Damon: She already is like me. And you know what makes me able to drink my fill and leave someone breathing and not rip my head off like my brother, is that I can revel in it. I can make it fun (He leaves) [Salvatore's House] (Stefan is in the living room. Rebekah enters) Rebekah: I got your message. I'm sorry. I know you wanted my help. He just...Makes me so angry Stefan: No one deserves to be treated that way Rebekah: I wanted it back then. The cure. I was willing to leave behind my family for it. Would you take it if you had the chance? Or is it just for Elena? Stefan: Part of me wishes that she and I can have an eternity together but Damon's right. There's not a single vampire who hasn't killed a human. Elena will kill. And then there will be the pain, and the guilt, and then... Rebekah: The humanity switch Stefan: Elena, she's driven by love. By compassion. When she turns off her humanity, then I don't think we'll ever get her back. So I'd do anything to save her Rebekah: I envy that. You and Elena. I envy the love you have. I really did believe Alex when he said he loved me. He promised we'd be married. We even picked out a church. San Vittore in Brienno. I know you want my help, Stefan. But I just can't do anything that lets my brother get what he wants Stefan: I never did answer your question. If it meant that I got to be with her... Have children, grow old with her... If it meant that we'd die together, be buried together... Then, yes. I'd take the cure Rebekah: I buried him. Even after everything. I laid him to rest in the place where we would be married. What kind of hopeless fool does that? Ohh. But that's what you wanted to know, isn't it? Because I buried him with his sword (Klaus enters) Klaus: I'm sorry, little sister, but you're right. You really are a hopeless fool Stefan: I'm sorry, Rebekah Rebekah: Go right ahead. Laugh at the girl who loved too easily. Well, I would rather have lived my life than yours, Nick. No one will ever sit around the table telling stories about a man who couldn't love. Do it. Look me in the eye and do it, you coward! Do it! (He drives the dagger though her heart and she dies. Stefan covers Rebekah's body) Klaus: I have a plane waiting. I'll get the sword. My hybrids will keep an eye on Connor. You put Rebekah somewhere no one will find her and make sure Jeremy forgets everything he heard today Stefan: I'll take care of it Klaus: No one must know about the cure, do you understand? Not Damon, not Elena. Nobody. If this gets out, it could mean all our deaths. So if you tell anyone, I'll erase each and every memory from all of you Stefan: I won't say anything Klaus: It's just you and me in this, Stefan. Some secrets are stronger than family [Gilbert's House] (Damon and Elena arrive) Damon: Well then. Good night Elena: Damon... I'm sorry. Things got a little heated at the party, and... I shouldn't have let that happen. It's just that I... I feel like... Damon: what do you feel, Elena? Elena: When you tell me what a vampire should be, deep down, I believe you. I think that you're right, and I... I hate that feeling. Because I don't want to be... Damon: You don't want to be like me (They look at each other and Stefan opens the door) Elena: Hey Stefan: Hey Elena: What are you doing here? Stefan: Just hanging out with Jeremy. We had a couple things to talk about Damon: Any news on the hunter? Stefan: No. No, nothing new Damon: Then today was a bust. She's all yours (He leaves) Stefan: So, uh... What happened? Elena: I learned how to feed without hurting someone. It was awful. You were right, I... Got caught up in it Stefan: Ah, it'll get easier Elena: But I don't want it to get easier. I can't live like this. Stefan, I'm... Feeling things that I don't... I don't want to feel, and I'm becoming someone that I don't want to be. I don't think I'm going to survive this Stefan: Hey. Yes, you will. I promise Elena: No Stefan: You just have to hold on [Klaus' Mansion] (Nate the hybrid enters. He's on the phone) Nate: Yeah, I got it. I'll keep him fat and happy. You should send two more for protection. Make that three (He hangs up. Connor arrives from behind and strangles him with a chain. He finally rips his head off. The tattoo spreads) [Whitmore College] (Professor Shane is reading something. Connor enters) Professor Shane: Shouldn't you be in Mystic Falls killing vampires? Connor: Why the hell did you send me there?	Plan: A: Klaus; Q: Who killed Alexander and his fellow hunters? A: one; Q: How many hybrids did Connor kill to escape Klaus? A: legendary vampire hunters; Q: What is the clan of "The Five"? A: 900 years; Q: How long ago did The Five exist? A: Alexander; Q: Who was the leader of The Five? A: vampires; Q: What does the tattoo of the Ultimate Weapon only form as long as Connor kills? A: their tattoos; Q: What did Rebekah discover the key to finding the Ultimate Weapon was using their swords to decode? A: hunter's mark; Q: What is the name of the tattoos that The Five had? A: a dagger; Q: What did Alexander use on Rebekah and her brothers? A: his fellow hunters; Q: Who did Klaus kill after killing Alexander? A: his family; Q: Who did Klaus un-dagger? A: Bonnie; Q: Who snaps Elena out of her trance? A: Damon head; Q: Who teaches Elena how to feed properly? A: Whitmore College; Q: Where did Bonnie, Elena, and Damon go to meet Professor Shane? A: Professor Shane; Q: Who sent Connor to Mystic Falls? A: a believer; Q: What does Professor Shane appear to be in regards to the supernatural? A: a liking; Q: What does Professor Shane take to Bonnie? A: the blood; Q: What does Elena become intoxicated by at the party? A: dances; Q: What does Elena do with Damon when she is intoxicated by the blood? A: his offense; Q: What does Elena becoming scared of becoming like Damon do to Damon? A: Stefan; Q: Who learns the "Ultimate Weapon" of The Five is a possible cure for vampirism? A: his sword; Q: What did Rebekah use to bury Alexander? A: the tattoo; Q: What does Klaus have Jeremy draw a picture of? Summary: Klaus and Rebekah realize Connor is one of "The Five," a clan of legendary vampire hunters that existed 900 years before. Rebekah, who had fallen in love with their leader, Alexander, discovered they possessed an "Ultimate Weapon" against vampires, and that the key to finding it was using their swords to decode their tattoos (hunter's mark). However, Alexander discovered Rebekah was a vampire, and used a dagger on her and her brothers. Klaus, unaffected by the dagger, killed Alexander and his fellow hunters, and un-daggered his family. Meanwhile, Bonnie, Elena, and Damon head to Whitmore College, where they meet Professor Shane, who appears to be a believer in the supernatural, and takes a liking to Bonnie. At a party being thrown on campus, Damon teaches Elena how to feed properly. At the party, Elena becomes intoxicated by the blood and dances with Damon. However, she is snapped out of her trance by a scared Bonnie. Elena becomes scared she might become like Damon, much to his offense. Stefan learns the "Ultimate Weapon" of The Five is a possible cure for vampirism, and tricks Rebekah into revealing where she buried Alexander with his sword. Klaus has Jeremy draw a picture of the tattoo, but finds it's incomplete, and that it only continues to form as long as Connor kills vampires. Meanwhile, Connor escapes Klaus by killing one of his hybrids, and leaves to find the one who sent him to Mystic Falls in the first place - Professor Shane. Klaus once again daggers Rebekah.
•I do not own the characters or situations of BTVS, and I claim no credit for the content of this episode. I have merely transcribed what appeared on my screen, with help from the closed captions. •I prefer that you link to this transcript on the Psyche site rather than post it on your site, but you can post it on your site if you want, as long as you keep my name and email address on it. Please also keep my disclaimers intact. •You can use my transcripts in your fanfiction stories; you don't have to ask my permission. (However, if you use large portions of episode dialogue in your fanfic, I recommend you give credit to the person who wrote the episode.) •I apologize in advance for my lame transcription of the fight scenes. I don't know the names of different punches and kicks. Use your imagination. [SCENE_BREAK] Teaser GILES VOICEOVER: Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer... Glory talking to her minions. GLORY: So it's her. Under our noses all this time. Slook the minion in the magic shop. SLOOK: Glorificus will find the witch. ANYA: Witch? WILLOW: Tara. Glory and Tara on the park bench. GLORY: You're not the key, you're nothing! WILLOW: No! Willow trying to get to Tara through crowds of people. Glory putting her fingers in Tara's brain. WILLOW: Tara! Buffy, Willow, and Tara in the hospital. BUFFY: I'm so sorry. Buffy hugging Willow. TARA: (smiling) They kill mice. Ben in Glory's apartment. BEN: Not if I get the key first. GRONX: Could you do it? Take a human life with your own hands? Glory breaking down the wall to the dorm room. GLORY: I told you this wasn't over. TARA: (staring at Dawn) Such pure green energy! GLORY: The key! BUFFY: Just pack up whatever supplies we need and that's it, we're gone. Knights on horseback chasing the Winnebago. BUFFY: Giles! GILES: I see them. The knight's spear impaling Giles. The Winnebago crashing. Giles in the gas station. WILLOW: Buffy! BUFFY: How is he? Will? BEN: I think I got him stabilized, but there's a lot of damage. We need to get him out of here. Flaming arrows shooting into the gas station. The knights gathered outside the gas station. XANDER: We got company! Gregor pointing his sword at Dawn. GREGOR: The key. Buffy hitting Gregor. GREGOR: Once the key is activated, the walls separating reality will crumble. Dimensions will bleed into each other. Buffy talking to Dawn. BUFFY: I won't let anything happen to you. Ben in the gas station. BEN: Let me out! BUFFY: Will, open a door! BEN: No! Ben morphing into Glory. Glory grabbing Dawn. DAWN: Buffy! BUFFY: Dawn! WILLOW: Buffy, you have to get up! Buffy, please! Buffy! Buffy sitting on the ground crying. MURK: Quickly, quickly! Already we're behind schedule! Someone's bound for a beheading. Murk goes into a large walk-in closet where Gronx is taking stuff from the shelves and putting it in boxes. MURK: Let's make sure it's not me. GRONX: Why do we remain when our moment of triumph lies so close at hand? MURK: (quietly) The glorious one, having acquired much in this world, doesn't exactly travel light. They peek around a corner and we see the main room of Glory's apartment. Glory stands on top of a stool wearing an ornate gown, with tailor minions at her feet working on the gown. GLORY: Hey! Minions, I can hear you. God-like ears don't miss much, you know what I'm sayin'? (glares at them) Come here. Murk and Gronx hurry out toward her. GRONX: 'Twas he who blasphemed, your magnificence. MURK: Spurred on by treacherous urging! (Gronx hits him) GLORY: Guys! I'm not gonna kill you. (frowns in puzzlement) Not in the mood. What do you think that's about? GRONX: In mercy does your power lie? GLORY: No, brainless, in torture, death and chaos does my power lie. (frowning) So tell me, why am I not popping your head like a zit right now? The minions have no idea. GLORY: Maybe I'm just hungry. MURK: Yes, we shall fetch a, a lovely- GLORY: No, I'm not hungry. She drops the robe to the floor, revealing a simple black dress underneath. She steps impatiently down from the stool. The tailors continue to work on the robe. GLORY: Uhh! Just a little tight in the skin is all. I've been waiting an eternity - well, 25 human years - and it all comes down to tonight. GRONX: The portal shall open. MURK: And the great Glorificus shall return. GLORY: To the hell I came from. Where I'm gonna rain down more super-sized portions of slaughter, mayhem and bloodshed than any of you scabs can even dream about. (pacing, sits down on a sofa) So how come I ain't happy? (shot of the minions looking confused) Got everything I ever wanted ... still, something's off. She twirls her wrist a few times as if it's stiff. GLORY: I don't know. What do you think? She looks off to her left. Pan across to Dawn sitting on another sofa, bound and gagged, whimpering with fear. Cut to the gas station. Willow and Xander stand staring at something. In the background Tara is peeking out the boarded-up windows, and we see Anya standing beside Giles, who still lies on the counter but now appears to be conscious again. Sound of the door opening. Spike enters. His hands are still bandaged. SPIKE: Better part of a century spent in delinquency just paid off. (nods toward the door) Hotwired Ben's auto. Who's for gettin' the hell out of here? XANDER: All in favor, let's do it. (to Giles) You good to go? GILES: Oh, don't worry about me. How's Buffy? XANDER: The same. (turns back to staring where Willow is staring) Still. WILLOW: It's been almost a half an hour. SPIKE: (stares that way too) The Slayer's gonna be all right, won't she? Beat. XANDER: You should try it again, Will. WILLOW: All right, but ... I'm not even sure she's, you know ... really in there. XANDER: Try. Willow sighs, steps forward and kneels on the ground. Focus on her face (Buffy POV). WILLOW: Can you hear me? Buffy! We finally see what they're all looking at. Buffy sits there with her hands folded in her lap. She stares straight ahead and doesn't seem to hear or see anything. Back to focus on Willow's face. WILLOW: Buffy! Zoom in on Buffy's unresponsive face. WILLOW: (OS) Buffy? Wolf howl. Opening credits. Guest starring Clare Kramer, Charlie Weber, Dean Butler, Lily Knight, Bob Morrisey, Amber Benson as Tara, special guest star Joel Grey, and Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers. Written by Douglas Petrie, directed by David Solomon. [SCENE_BREAK] Act I [SCENE_BREAK] Open on Buffy still unresponsive, staring at nothing. SPIKE: (OS) Buffy! The gang continues staring at Buffy. SPIKE: She can't just be brain-dead. (paces around behind Xander) I mean ... she's still Buffy, (Willow stands up) somewhere in there, right? XANDER: Spike, come on, we're not gonna get Dawn back by sittin' around here. SPIKE: You're not gonna get Dawn back any way you slice it, Harris, it's for Buffy to decide. XANDER: Good, panic. That oughta help. WILLOW: We should move her. U-unless we shouldn't. Should we? ANYA: Couldn't that make it worse? I think I read that somewhere. XANDER: I am so large with not knowing. GILES: It's impossible to know for sure. Losing Dawn, after all that Buffy's been through ... I think it's pushed her too far into some sort of catatonia. SPIKE: You don't need a diploma to see that. (moves forward) Snap her out of it. Spike grabs Buffy by the shoulders and shakes her. SPIKE: Buffy! Close shot on Spike's face (Buffy POV). SPIKE: Oi, rise and shine, love! The others look skeptical. ANYA: Spike... SPIKE: Come on, people. Girl's endowed with Slayer strength. It's hardly the time to get dainty. Buffy! (shakes her harder) XANDER: We tried that! Spike slaps Buffy across the face, hard. No reaction. SPIKE: Ow! (grabs his head in pain) ANYA: We didn't try that. Xander pulls Spike away. XANDER: Are you insane? We could be dealing with neurological damage here. You want to kill her? SPIKE: We have to do something. I can't just sit here watching. You waste time with kid gloves. I'm willing to wager, when all is said and done, Buffy likes it rough. Xander punches Spike in the face. They grapple. Willow turns to them with a stern expression. WILLOW: Separate. An unseen force pushes Spike and Xander apart. They both stare at Willow in surprise. She gives them a determined glare. Anya and Giles stare too. WILLOW: (glaring at them) Buffy's out. Glory has Dawn. Sometime real soon, she's gonna use Dawn to tear down the barrier between every dimension there is. So if you two wanna fight, do it after the world ends, okay? Spike glares at Xander. Xander goes over to Anya and Giles, leans against the counter. WILLOW: (very quietly and with authority) All right. First we head back to Sunnydale. Xander'll take Giles to a hospital. Anya's looking after Tara. And Spike, you find Glory. Check her apartment, see if she's still there. Try anything stupid, like payback, and I will get Very Cranky. (looks around at them) Everyone clear? Anya cautiously raises her hand. WILLOW: Anya. ANYA: Um ... w-what will you do? WILLOW: I'll help Buffy. ANYA: Okay then. TARA: The world is spinning. Willow looks concerned, goes over to Tara as Xander and Anya begin helping Giles down. TARA: Straight to a new day! Big day. Big, big day. WILLOW: Shh, shh. (Tara whimpers) Spike moves forward. SPIKE: Uh ... Will? Willow looks at him. SPIKE: Now, uh, don't turn me into a horned toad for asking, but ... what if we come across Ben? (shot of the others listening) WILLOW: I-I don't think a doctor's what Buffy needs right now. SPIKE: Well, yeah, especially not one who also happens to be Glory. (Everyone looks confused) GILES: What do you mean? SPIKE: You know. Ben is Glory. WILLOW: (frowns) You mean ... Ben's with Glory? XANDER: "With" in what sense? ANYA: They're working together? SPIKE: No. No. Ben is Glory. Glory's Ben. They're one and the same. Beat. Everyone looks completely confused (except Tara who still looks blank). ANYA: When did all this happen? SPIKE: Not one hour ago! Right here, before your very eyes! Ben came, he turned into Glory, snatched the kid, and pfft! Vanished, remember? They continue to stare at him. SPIKE: (uncertainly) You do remember...? (squints at them) Is everyone here very stoned? They continue to look confused. SPIKE: (getting annoyed) Ben! Glory! He's a doctor, she's the beast. Two entirely separate entities sharing one body. Like a bloody sitcom. Surely you remember. XANDER: So you're saying ... Ben and Glory... ANYA: Have a connection. GILES: Yes, obviously, but what kind? SPIKE: (laughs sarcastically) Oh, I get it. That's very crafty. (nods) Glory's worked the kind of mojo where anyone who sees her little presto-change-o instantly forgets. And yours truly, being somewhat other than human ... stands immune. WILLOW: (frowning) So ... Ben and Glory ... are-are the same person? XANDER: (slowly, like a revelation) Glory can turn into Ben, and Ben turns back into Glory. ANYA: And anyone who sees it instantly forgets. SPIKE: (sighs in relief) Kewpie doll for the lady. He puts one finger on his nose and points the other hand at Anya. GILES: Excellent. (looks around at them) Now. Do we suspect there may be some kind of connection between Ben and Glory? Xander and Anya look enquiringly at Spike. Spike sighs loudly. Cut to: a man wielding a blowtorch, wearing a welding mask. He turns off the blowtorch and lifts the mask. It's the crazy guy who accosted Dawn in "The Real Me." We hear rhythmic machinery noises. The guy looks around, then falls to his knees as Glory enters, followed by Dawn and some minions. Glory is again wearing the robe and has Dawn by the arm. We see that we're in some sort of warehouse. CRAZY GUY: The key. The key. As Glory walks through the warehouse we see other crazy people doing various things with machinery. They all drop their tasks and kneel on the floor as Glory and Dawn go by. The machinery noises slow and then stop. CRAZIES: The key. The key. The key. Glory, Dawn, and the minions go to a door in the back. Cut to Murk opening the door, peeking in, then nodding and gesturing behind him. He enters, followed by Dawn and Glory and two other minions. We're in what looks like a construction office. Glory pushes Dawn into a chair and turns away, putting a hand to her head. She sits on something as Murk and Gronx hover near her. The third minion stays near Dawn. He's larger than the others and wears more ornate robes. The machinery noises resume. GLORY: Unbelievable how annoying those groupies can be. MURK: Uh, they merely sense that tonight at last, the dimensional portal shall open. We see that the third minion is putting some kind of paste on Dawn's forehead, while chanting in a foreign language. Dawn looks very scared. GRONX: (OS) Ushering in the long and bloody reign of the great... Glory looks over, sees the priest minion chanting over Dawn. GLORY: What's he doing? PRIEST: I must anoint the key. GLORY: Really don't. Go. PRIEST: But- GLORY: Out! Get out, get out! Murk hurries forward and ushers the priest out. Dawn continues to look frightened. In the background we can see a window through which the crazy people are visible, going back and forth as they do whatever they're doing with the machinery. GLORY: You know ... you recapture your godhood and unleash Armageddon... (picks up a rag from a table, uses it to rub the stuff off Dawn's forehead) all of a sudden everybody wants to be a part of the inner circle. Glory wets the cloth with her tongue and rubs at Dawn's forehead some more. Dawn scrunches up her face in disgust. Glory straightens up, tosses the cloth aside, sighs. GLORY: You okay? DAWN: (weakly) I wanna go home. GLORY: Sweetie ... ohh... Glory takes another chair, pulls it over in front of Dawn, and sits on the back of the chair with her feet on the chair's seat. GLORY: You're about to. Dawn looks up hopefully. GLORY: Not that fake suburban nightmare the monks cooked up for you. I mean your real home. (Dawn begins to cry) As the key! You fit the lock. Well, it's like a lock. Hey! (pats Dawn's knee) You want a pizza? DAWN: (softly) No. GLORY: Pillow? (looks around) I don't know if this thing gets cable. Doubtful. DAWN: (crying) Please. Stop. GLORY: You nervous? DAWN: (crying) Yes. GLORY: (smiles, gets down to sit on the chair seat) I know how you feel. It is your last night. Dawn's eyes widen in horror. GLORY: As, you know ... a human. (picks up Dawn's hand by the wrist and shakes it around) This body ... it's just a rental, Dawnie. Being human? It's like a costume for girls like you and me. Being something else, that's what we are. DAWN: (firmly) Don't. GLORY: (smiling) What? DAWN: Don't call me Dawnie. Glory gives a surprised laugh, lets go of Dawn's hands and sits back. GLORY: Huh. Wow. You know, that actually hurt my feelings. DAWN: (whispers) I'm sorry. GLORY: (lifts a hand) Not the point. Glory gets up and walks past Dawn, who continues to look very scared. GLORY: I'm just thinking, here I am trying to make you feel better, when comforting others ... not part of my life. (frowns) And I'm doing it, so I can stop ... feeling so ... (pats her chest) um ... Angle on Dawn in the foreground with Glory in the background, her back turned. Glory snaps her fingers at Dawn. GLORY: Help me out. DAWN: (nervous) Guilty? GLORY: Guilty. (laughs) That's it! (laughs some more, then stops) But I'm not supposed to feel guilty. I'm not supposed to feel anything. I'm, I'm ... I'm a god. I'm above it. I'm ... (looks over at Dawn) You. Dawn looks frightened. Glory strides back over to her. GLORY: You did this to me, didn't you? Some sort of spell, you've been hanging with the wicca, you could've- (pauses) But no. It's not magic. It's something else. (puts her hand to her head, then looks angrily at Dawn) Still, it is you doing this. DAWN: (shakes her head) I ... I'm not doing anything. I swear. GLORY: We'll see. Glory opens the door to reveal the minions waiting outside. GLORY: (glaring at Dawn) Anoint this thing now! The priest minion comes in, followed by Murk and Gronk. Dawn still looks scared. GLORY: Know what they're all chanting for out there, Dawnie? Blood. 'Cause we found out your blood is the key to the key! (The priest begins marking Dawn's forehead again) All I gotta do is bleed you dry, the portal opens up, and I can go home! (priest continues chanting and marking Dawn's forehead) So knock yourself out, girlfriend. Make me feel bad as you can. Glory moves forward and gets in Dawn's face. GLORY: (softly) 'Cause tomorrow ... you bleed, little girl. Cut to: exterior of Xander's apartment building, night. ANYA VOICEOVER: You sure you know what you're doing? Cut to inside. Willow is taking candles out of a small leather bag and putting them on the table. WILLOW: I think so. (pause) I don't know. It's ... not exactly well-explored territory, but ... I gotta try. ANYA: A spell like this could be really dangerous for Buffy. And you. TARA: Time ... oh, time is coming. Willow goes over to Tara, who is sitting cross-legged on a chair beside another table. WILLOW: Shh. It's okay. I'm here. Tara whimpers softly. Anya comes over. WILLOW: You'll look after her while I'm... ANYA: Sure. What do I do? WILLOW: Mostly ... just ... be here for her. (Anya nods) And, and there's some pills in my knapsack. Half of one every two hours keeps her ... pretty mellow. ANYA: Y-you think you'll be gone more than two hours? WILLOW: (shrugs) Wish me luck. ANYA: Okay. Anya reaches over to give Willow a punch on the arm. ANYA: (with forced enthusiasm) Good luck! WILLOW: Thanks. (turns to Tara, turns Tara's face to look at her) Okay. Be good now, sweetie. I-I'll be back as soon as I can, okay? We're good? Tara stares at Willow while she talks, but doesn't reply. Willow kisses her on the forehead, smiles at her, then turns away. Tara whines softly and holds out her hand toward Willow. Willow gathers up the stuff from the table and walks toward a closed door. ANYA: (softly) Good luck. Willow opens the door, goes through it, closes it. Cut to the bedroom. It's dark. Willow closes the door behind her, puts a candle on the small table beside the bed, and lights the candle. She goes around the bed to the other side. We can see a poster on the world that says, "There's MONEY in arc welding!" with a picture of a person arc-welding. Willow puts two more candles on another small table and lights them. As she turns away, we see Buffy sitting in a chair against the wall, still catatonic. Willow sits on the corner of the bed, facing Buffy. Shot of Buffy's unseeing face. Shot of Willow looking at Buffy. Flash to Willow in a clean, brightly-lit room. She blinks in confusion, looks around. Pan across a couple of rooms full of flowers, knick-knacks, furniture, etc. It's all done in bright cheerful colors and very tasteful. Willow walks slowly forward, looking around. She comes into another room with a fireplace. On the wall we see a picture of a woman with a baby. On a side table are more pictures, and a statue of a man, woman, and child. Willow turns away. Pan across shelves with more sculptures, records, etc. Behind Willow we can see a sofa. Then a voice comes from behind her. VOICE: Hi, Willow. Willow turns to reveal a little girl, about six years old, with blonde hair in two pigtails. She is holding a doll and sitting at a child-sized round table with some toys on it. Willow smiles. WILLOW: Hello, Buffy. Close shot of Young Buffy gazing at Willow. Blackout. [SCENE_BREAK] Act II [SCENE_BREAK] Open on a shot of a door. A foot appears and kicks the door open. Cut out to reveal Spike in the doorway. It's the entrance to Glory's apartment. Spike turns on the light and looks around. The apartment appears empty. Spike walks in slowly, putting a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it, looking around. His hands are no longer bandaged. On the floor remains a circle of twigs and symbols from Gronx and Murk's rune-casting. Spike continues walking around, pauses, looking off to the left. Spike walks toward an arched doorway underneath the stairs. He goes slowly through it, finds a door, opens it cautiously. He walks slowly through the door, reaches up to turn on the light which is just a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling. Underneath the bulb we can see a small sink. We see a small, dark room with just a bed (unmade) and a small table that holds a lamp and some books. Pan across to some blue clothing hanging against the wall. Zoom in on Ben's hospital ID tag (with photo) attached to one blue shirt. Spike stares at the room with a small frown. YOUNG BUFFY VOICEOVER: What are you doing here? Cut to Young Buffy looking up at Willow. WILLOW: Actually, I'm, uh... Shot of Willow and Buffy sitting in Xander's dark bedroom. WILLOW: ...looking for you. Cut back to Young Buffy. YOUNG BUFFY: Do you like dolls? (stroking her doll's hair) WILLOW: Buffy ... what are you doing here? YOUNG BUFFY: I like it here. WILLOW: But ... (kneels by her) You know we need you. You have to come out. YOUNG BUFFY: Why? WILLOW: To be with your friends. YOUNG BUFFY: It's a big day for me. She looks over at the door. Sound of the front door opening. WOMAN: (OS) Hello! YOUNG BUFFY: (big smile) Mommy, Daddy! Young Buffy gets up and runs toward the door, handing her doll to Willow. Willow stands up to watch. YOUNG BUFFY: You're back! You're back! We see Joyce and Buffy's father (Hank) entering. Joyce carries a bundled-up baby. JOYCE: Hello, Buffy. HANK: (leans over with hands on his knees) How's my girl? Young Buffy smiles at him. JOYCE: Are you ready to meet your new baby sister? Shot of Willow watching. Young Buffy looks upset, frowns, backs away and folds her arms across her chest. HANK: Oh, come on now, Buffy. She's nothing to be afraid of. YOUNG BUFFY: Who's afraid? JOYCE: Don't you want to be the big sister? YOUNG BUFFY: No, I want to be the baby. HANK: Buffy. YOUNG BUFFY: You're gonna pay more attention to her and forget all about me! JOYCE: Ohh... Joyce kneels down beside Young Buffy. Shot of the baby in her arms. The baby makes baby noises. Young Buffy turns to address Willow. YOUNG BUFFY: Doesn't she look funny? Like a wrinkly old grandpa. Young Buffy turns back to Joyce. Joyce gently puts the baby in Young Buffy's arms. JOYCE: Like this ... okay, support the head ... there you go! We're calling her Dawn. WILLOW: (softly) Dawn. YOUNG BUFFY: (smiling) I ... I could be the one to look after her sometimes ... if you need a helper. (Joyce smiling at the baby) Mom? Can I take care of her? JOYCE: (smiling, stroking Young Buffy's hair) Yes, Buffy, you can take care of her. As Willow watches this scene, she hears something and turns to look. We see (adult) Buffy #1 wearing a sleeveless blouse and pale skirt, with her hair loose, carrying a book. She walks over to a bookshelf, puts the book on it with other books, pauses for a moment, turns and walks away. Willow watches in some confusion as Buffy #1 walks past her. Willow glances over toward where Young Buffy was. Cut to Willow standing by an open fire, night. She looks around in confusion. WILLOW: Ohh...kay. Cut to: Giles sitting on a hospital bed, putting on his jacket. His left arm is stiff by his side and he can only get his jacket onto the right arm. He gets up, putting his right hand to the place on his stomach where he was speared, and walks forward. GILES: Uh, can you, uh... Xander appears and helps Giles put the jacket on as they walk out into the hallway. XANDER: There. How you doing? GILES: It only hurts while I answer pointless questions. Where's Buffy? XANDER: Willow's on it. Or ... in it. She's workin' some spell, trying to reach Buffy psychically. GILES: Uh, she's gone into Buffy's mind? XANDER: (nods) Pretty tricky stuff. GILES: It's extraordinarily advanced. Um, I was thinking we should check on Glory's victims while ... we're here. As they continue to walk, we see the view in front of them. Around a corner we can see Spike looking at a medical cart. He takes a bag of blood from the cart and puts it in his pocket as he approaches Xander and Giles. XANDER: Oh, the mental ward? I already been. The vegetable section's closed. Nobody there. It's like they all just got up and walked away. Xander and Giles reach Spike and they all stop walking. Xander looks pointedly at Spike's purloined bloodbag but says nothing. SPIKE: Checked out Glory's flat. Looks like the great one has scampered. GILES: Gone to, uh, perform her ritual with Dawn and leaving us entirely clueless. SPIKE: Not entirely. (they look at him) I know this bloke. Well, not so much a bloke so much as a demon. But still, bookish. All tuned in to the nastier corners of this our magic world. (looks around, takes out a cigarette) It's a bit of a last resort really, but still, we might persuade him to suss out Glory's game plan. Spike lights his cigarette as we see a "No Smoking" sign prominently displayed on the wall right behind him. SPIKE: Sound worthy? Giles sighs and shrugs. SPIKE: (nods) Off we go then. Meet back at the shop. Spike turns to go. Xander pats Giles on the arm and then falls into step with Spike. SPIKE: Found Ben's room at Glory's. Didn't learn much. XANDER: Wait, wait, wait. Ben? At Glory's? (Spike rolls his eyes) You're saying all this time he's been subletting from her? SPIKE: This ... is gonna be worth it. Spike bitch-slaps Xander upside the head. Shot of the two of them from the rear as they both grab their heads in pain. SPIKE/XANDER: Ow! Cut to the front again. They both stumble, use each other to regain their balance, and continue walking. SPIKE: Last time. From the top. They walk off together. Cut to: Glory leaning her arm against the wall of the warehouse, pinching her nose with her fingers. She sighs. GLORY: I'm hating this, Murk. GRONX: And this would be what exactly, your holiness? GLORY: Memories. I'm starting to remember the things Ben did. People he spoke with, stuff he wore... (the minions look alarmed) Hmm! (calling to Dawn) Kid! The minions part to reveal Dawn still sitting in the chair with the priest minion next to her. Glory walks toward her. GLORY: I came ... he came to see you, didn't he? DAWN: Ben? GLORY: Yeah, Ben. You called him to the desert when you were hiding from me. And he came. And then he was me, you remember? DAWN: (nervously) Yes. GLORY: (whirls to face the minions) See? She's not supposed to remember that! Nobody should! (rubs her chest anxiously) The cloak between Ben and me is fading! I almost helped her! He ... (turns back toward Dawn) I wanted to. (groans) I can't do this! She walks past Dawn and grabs the priest minion by the front of his robe. GLORY: Get him out of me. PRIEST: What? GLORY: (crying) Ben! The human meat-sack who's infecting me. (turns to lean against the wall) Do your mojo, make an incision, or removal, or whatever you've gotta do. (sniffles) Help me! (pacing) I'm ... I'm thinking Ben's thoughts, and ... and I'm feeling his feelings! And ... uh! I... She morphs into Ben. BEN: ...can't kill the girl. Morphs back into Glory. GLORY: Damn it. She collapses to the floor. Supporting herself on her arms, she looks up at the priest. GLORY: Help me! PRIEST: Th-this I cannot do. You risk terrible magicks in opening the portal. Nothing comes without a price. This ... is yours. GLORY: (gets up with a scowl) Gods don't pay. She goes to Dawn, grabs Dawn by the throat and pulls her to her feet. Dawn gasps. GLORY: We do this now! Cut to Willow still standing by the fireside. She looks to her right. Shot of Buffy sitting on a rock (from episode "Intervention"). Willow looks to her left. Shot of the First Slayer on the other side of the fire opposite Buffy. WILLOW: Hey ... I know you. You're, you're the first original Slayer who tried killing us all in our dreams. The First Slayer gazes at Buffy. WILLOW: (shrugs) How've you been? FIRST SLAYER: Death is your gift. Willow looks over at Buffy. BUFFY: Death is my gift? WILLOW: Wait, death is her what? FIRST SLAYER: Death is your gift. Willow turns her head to look at Buffy again. As she does so, flash-cut back to the previous scene. Buffy #1 again walks past Willow, over to the bookcase, puts the book on the bookcase, pauses. Willow watches in confusion. Closer shot of Buffy #1 standing by the bookcase, staring at it but not really seeing it, lost in thought. Willow watches this with a small frown. Then she turns to her right and we see the back of (adult) Buffy #2. This Buffy wears jeans and a black tank top, has her hair pulled back into a ponytail, and is walking away from Willow down a hallway. At the end of the hall we see a door that is slightly ajar with sunlight coming from behind it. Willow begins to follow Buffy #2. WILLOW: Where are you going? Cut to the warehouse. Dawn is still gasping and choking as Glory holds her by the throat. The three minions gather around. MURK: Glorificus, wait! Kill the key now and all will be lost! GRONX: We'll be stuck on this mortal plane forever! GLORY: All right, you're right. (releases Dawn) It's cool. (Dawn staggers back, clutching her throat) I'm just a little emotional right now... (small laugh) which, if you're into irony, funny. Shot of Dawn grabbing a pillar for support, gasping. GLORY: (OS) Leave. We need a little girl time. The minions begin bowing and Glory makes an impatient gesture. GLORY: Goodbye! They hurry out. Dawn glares angrily at Glory. Glory puts her hands to her face, then rubs the sides of her neck. GLORY: How do they do it? DAWN: (hoarsely) Do what? GLORY: People! (walking toward Dawn) How do they function here like this in the world with all this bile running through them? Every day it's whoo-oo (wiggles her hand at Dawn) You have no control. They're not even animals, they're just these meatbaggy slaves to, to hormones and pheromones and their, and their feelings. Hate 'em! Dawn stops rubbing her neck, stares at Glory. Glory goes behind a drafting table and leans her arms against it. GLORY: I mean really. Is this what the poets go on about, this? (thumps her chest, shakes her head, sighs) Call me crazy, but as hard-core drugs go, human emotion is just useless! People are puppets! Everyone getting jerked around by what they're feelin'. Am I wrong? (looks at Dawn) Really, I want to know. Shot of Dawn leaning against the pillar, looking at the floor. GLORY: Gonna bleed you either way. DAWN: (opens her eyes, looks at Glory) Depends on the person. GLORY: So you're saying some people like this. DAWN: (defensively) Some. GLORY: Funny. 'Cause I look around at this world you're so eager to be a part of ... and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. (smiles) Who's not crazy? Look around. Everyone's drinking, smoking, shooting up ... shooting each other, or just plain screwing their brains out 'cause they don't want 'em anymore. (looks at Dawn) I'm crazy? Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind. (sighs) 'Cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts. Glory comes out from behind the drafter's table, walks toward Dawn. GLORY: Name one person who can take it here. That's all I'm asking. (in Dawn's face) Name one. DAWN: (firmly) Buffy. Cut to Buffy sitting unresponsive in the chair in Xander's bedroom. Cut to Willow sitting on Xander's bed staring at Buffy. WILLOW VOICEOVER: I can't keep following you around like this, Buffy. We have to go. Cut to the dream-hallway. Willow is still following Buffy #2 down the hallway. Adult Buffy pushes through the door and continues walking. WILLOW: You have to talk to... Willow enters the room, sees something on the floor. WILLOW: ...me. Willow walks slowly into the room as we see what she's looking at. It is Joyce's graveyard plot complete with a mound of fresh dirt, sprinkled with fallen leaves, and a fringe of grass. The headstone reads "Joyce Summers 1958-2001." Buffy #2 stands staring at the grave with her arms folded. Willow walks up next to her, also looking at the grave. Overhead shot of the two of them and the grave. The room appears to be Joyce's bedroom; the grave is where the bed should be, and the entire room is carpeted in grass. The other furniture (bedside table, chair, etc.) is as it should be. WILLOW: I'm sorry. BUFFY #2: (shakes her head, doesn't look at Willow) Don't be. Death is my gift. WILLOW: Yeah, I keep hearing that, but... (Buffy #2 begins to walk off; Willow follows) I'm not exactly sure what it means. BUFFY #2: (over her shoulder) It's really not that complicated. They go through a door into Dawn's bedroom. Dawn is lying on the bed. WILLOW: Not for you maybe. Buffy sits on the bed beside Dawn, looks at her, then up at Willow. BUFFY #2: It's what I do. Shot of Dawn lying on the bed. She breathes slowly and seems to be crying. BUFFY #2: I mean, come on, you've known me ... for how long? It's what I'm here for. It's all I am. Buffy turns to look at Dawn again. Then she picks up a pillow from beside Dawn and puts it over Dawn's face. Dawn begins to struggle, with muffled noises of protest. WILLOW: Buffy, stop! No! Buffy looks very calm as she holds the pillow in place. Dawn's arms and legs wave in the air ineffectively. WILLOW: God, no! BUFFY #2: (turns to Willow, still holding the pillow down) What? (Dawn's struggling slows) I keep telling you, Will. I-I figured it out. Death is my gift. Dawn stops struggling. Her arms and legs fall limply onto the bed. Willow stares in horror. Blackout. [SCENE_BREAK] Act III [SCENE_BREAK] Open on the warehouse. Glory (still wearing the black dress and ceremonial gown) walks forward shaking her head. GLORY: Oh, Ben. This is really not a good time. She morphs into Ben, who continues walking forward. BEN: Dawn. Has Glory hurt you? DAWN: Uh ... no. Not yet. Ben turns away, looking shaky. He sits carefully on the chair. DAWN: But I have to get out of here. (nervously) Ben? You okay? She walks toward him. Ben is staring at his hands, which are trembling. In the background we can still see the occasional person walking by outside. BEN: Where is it? DAWN: W-where's what? BEN: (staring at his hands) All the blood. I can feel it ... still warm and ... wet. Glory. Oh, god. (Dawn looks anxious) She slaughtered hundreds of men. But I can feel them ... breaking. DAWN: Ben, something is happening to both you and Glory. BEN: I'm remembering her, aren't I? The things she's done ... things she's going to do. DAWN: I know. She told me. I think ... whatever the magic is that keeps you guys apart, it's starting to break down. (he continues looking upset) Ben, Glory could come back any minute. BEN: (not seeming to hear her) How could she do this? DAWN: I don't know. But we have to get out of her and, and find Buffy- BEN: No! (turns to her) I mean, I have a job. I have a life! And Glory? She never once thinks about me in all this! Dawn stares at him. Sound of a knock on the door. They both look anxiously at it. DAWN: Help me. BEN: How? DAWN: I- PRIEST: (OS) Highness! Ben gets up. DAWN: Please. PRIEST: (OS) Is everything all right? Ben strides over to the door, opens it. PRIEST: You're not- Ben grabs the priest and pulls him inside, head-butts him. The priest staggers back against the wall and falls down. Ben punches him and he falls unconscious. BEN: (to Dawn) I'll take you as far as I can, ditch you before she comes back. He and Dawn run out the door. WILLOW VOICEOVER: Okay ... now this is weird. Cut back to the old Summers home. Willow stands looking down at Young Buffy, who is again sitting at her table holding her doll. YOUNG BUFFY: Hi, Willow. What are you doing here? WILLOW: Actually, I'm, uh ... looking for you. Here. Again. YOUNG BUFFY: (strokes her doll's hair) Do you like dolls? WILLOW: No ... (kneels) and I think we already deja'd this vu. YOUNG BUFFY: (giggles) You talk funny. WILLOW: Yes ... as you'll tell me again when we're older and in chem class. (frowns) Buffy ... what are we doing here? YOUNG BUFFY: Don't you like it here? WILLOW: We don't have time. Sound of the door opening. Young Buffy smiles, gets up, gives her doll to Willow. YOUNG BUFFY: Mommy, Daddy! HANK: (OS) We're home! Willow stands to watch. YOUNG BUFFY: (OS) You're back, you're back! Joyce and Hank enter with baby Dawn again. JOYCE: (smiling) Hi, Buffy. Shot of Willow watching. Cut to Joyce kneeling while Young Buffy holds the baby. JOYCE: We're calling her Dawn. Willow turns her head and again sees Adult Buffy #1 putting the book on the bookshelf. Shot of Willow still holding Young Buffy's doll. Sound of the baby making baby noises. Willow turns back toward the front door. Angle on Young Buffy holding the baby, with Joyce kneeling and Hank standing with his hands on his knees. YOUNG BUFFY: I could be the one to look after her sometimes. Willow watches with a small smile. Cut to: a fire burning in a fireplace. Pan across a desk covered with books, papers, and an old manual typewriter. Doc (see episode "Forever") sits at the desk holding a mug, flipping pages of a book. Sound of knocking on the door. He doesn't get up. DOC: It's always open! The door opens, Spike and Xander enter. DOC: (OS) What can I do for you boys? Want some cocoa? They walk over to him. He continues looking at the book. SPIKE: No. We need information. We need- XANDER: (suddenly) Ben's Glory! DOC: (looks up) Who's what? SPIKE: (surprised) Look at this. Special Ed remembers. XANDER: Yeah. I do. Ben's Glory and Glory's Ben. It's like this... (gestures around his head) fog's lifting. SPIKE: (nodding) Wonderful. But not why we're here. (turns back to Doc) Hell-god type. (Doc returns to his book) Name of Glory- XANDER: A.K.A. Ben. SPIKE: -has gone missing. She's brewing up some major-league bad, and she's nicked the Slayer's kid sister in the bargain. DOC: (looking at him, nodding) Hmm. That girl you brought here. Sweet little thing. How'd things work out with her mom? Changed her mind, didn't she? SPIKE: Yeah. You got any idea where Glory would take her? DOC: (closes his book, thoughtfully) Glory ... Glory. Oh! (gets up, carrying the book) You don't mean Glorificus. (walks closer to them) Gosh. What do you wanna get mixed up with her for? That's a sure way to get yourselves killed. I hear she's awfully unpleasant. (turns away, goes toward a side table) When it comes to hellgods, my best advice ... is get out of the way ... and stay there. (puts the book down) SPIKE: Love to. Can't. DOC: Well, uh, other than that ... (turns to a chest of drawers, closes a drawer) I'd like to help ... but I-I'm a small-town guy. Shot of Xander listening. DOC: This Glorificus, if it is her ... whoo, she's big city. SPIKE: She's got Dawn. DOC: Right. (thinks) Well, I may know a fella ... you know, who knows a fella in... (thinks) in China. He might- SPIKE: How the hell are we supposed to get to China? Teleport? DOC: I guess. Shot of Spike looking suspicious. He looks downward. Close angle on Doc from about mid-chest to mid-thigh. His hands are clasped in front of him. Behind him on the table we see something that looks like a wooden box. DOC: You know, if you're in that much of a hurry. Cut to Doc's face. DOC: Wish you luck. SPIKE: You're lying. Xander looks at Spike in surprise. Doc removes his glasses. SPIKE: And what's more ... I believe you're standing right in front of the very thing we need. Another shot of the box half-hidden behind Doc's body. Doc smiles and suddenly leaps to his left. Suddenly he's behind Spike, who turns in surprise as Doc grabs a sword that's leaning against the wall. He puts the sword tip to Spike's throat. DOC: (whispers) Idiot. Doc lunges forward but Spike smacks the sword blade aside and falls to the floor, knocking over a pile of books onto himself. Doc opens his mouth and a super-long tongue comes out, smacks Xander in the chest and slams him back against a wall, then retreats. The tongue coils back into Doc's mouth. Xander falls to the floor with a grunt. Doc walks over to where Spike is lying on the floor stunned. DOC: You think only underworld bottom-feeders worship the beast? Doc kicks Spike in the face, then turns, grabs the box off the table and throws it into the fire. He turns away from the fireplace, walks back toward Spike. DOC: Her day is coming, boys! (grabs Spike by the front of his shirt) And when she returns, then you're gonna see something. Xander jumps up and knees Doc in the chest, knocking him away from Spike. Xander falls on top of Doc. As they grapple, Spike hurries over to the fire and pulls the box out. SPIKE: Ow! Xander and Doc continue grappling. Xander reaches out and grabs the sword, gets up on his knees and plunges the sword downward. Blue blood spurts up at him. Shot of Spike kneeling by the fireplace, panting and looking over at Xander. Xander gets up, wipes blue blood from his face, looks at Spike. Spike gets up holding the box in both arms, walks over to Xander. The box is smoking slightly but appears undamaged. XANDER: What do we got? SPIKE: (looking down at Doc) Something worth dying for. Xander opens the door and they leave. Pan over to Doc lying there with the sword sticking out of his chest, blue blood staining his shirt. Suddenly Doc's eyes pop open. Cut to Buffy and Willow facing each other in the dark bedroom. WILLOW VOICEOVER: Buffy, will you just stop a second and listen to me? Cut to the dream-hallway. Buffy #2 is walking down the hallway with Willow following. WILLOW: Buffy! Willow hurries around in front of Buffy, stops her with a hand on her arm. WILLOW: You have to stop doing this. BUFFY #2: Doing what? WILLOW: Killing Dawn. BUFFY #2: Why? WILLOW: Because this never happened. You never killed your sister. BUFFY #2: Will, I did this. WILLOW: In your imagination! None of this is real! Y-you're stuck in some kind of loop! BUFFY #2: I don't know what you're talking about. 'Scuse me. She resumes walking. Willow follows. WILLOW: Buffy, why are you doing this? Buffy pushes through the door. Cut to Dawn and Ben walking down the main street of Sunnydale. Ben still wears the ceremonial robe and has Dawn by the wrist. Dawn looks nervously over her shoulder. DAWN: I think they see us. BEN: Just stay close to me. Don't look back. Suddenly he pushes Dawn into an alley. They press up against a brick wall. BEN: Shh! Stay very still. Ben goes to peer around the corner. When he turns back, Dawn hits him over the head with a large pile of chain. He goes down. Dawn drops the chain next to him. DAWN: I'm sorry. Dawn steps over him and starts off. GLORY: (OS) Sorry?! Dawn looks horrified, turns back. Glory stands up holding the chain. GLORY: That actually hurt, you prepubescent puke. Dawn looks very scared. Blackout. [SCENE_BREAK] Act IV [SCENE_BREAK] Open on the alley. GLORY: Okay, first thought, just totally spontaneous, unfiltered, off the top of my head ... ow! She shakes the chain in Dawn's face, then tosses it aside. GLORY: You hit Ben in his soft human head, and I remember the pain. Glory pins one of Dawn's arms behind her and forces her farther into the alley. Dawn grunts in pain. Glory lets go. GLORY: You probably think I won't waste any precious blood of yours till tonight. You're right. But I know a thousand ways to hurt you that won't spill a drop. Glory shoves Dawn in the chest. Dawn stumbles backward with a yelp. She backs up toward some stairs leading up to a door. Dawn ends up sitting on a stair clutching the metal hand-rail. Glory advances on her. GLORY: You know all those pesky feelings Ben's been having like guilt, empathy? I'm gonna take 'em and mash 'em back down where they belong, okay? Now ... (strokes the side of Dawn's face) let's have big-girl fun. (grabs Dawn's chin) Just you and... Suddenly Glory lets go of Dawn and speaks in a different tone. GLORY: Leave her alone. She rolls her eyes and turns away, morphs into Ben. BEN: I said, leave her alone. Morph. (Note: from this point on the morphing happens so fast I won't note it each time. Just assume that they change each time there's a change in speaker.) GLORY: No, no. Little late in the game to start growing a backbone, Benjamin. (Dawn watches fearfully) Now be good and stay quiet. No you don't! Get over yourself, Ben! This is the way things are! I'm strong, you're weak. (laughs) This is reality. Stop trying to infect me with your... (whirls around) BEN: Do you ever stop talking? I don't know which is worse, waking up in a dress not knowing where I've been, or having to hear all your self-involved ranting! GLORY: Animal. BEN: Wrong, Glory. I'm no animal. This is humanity you're feeling. Welcome to the world. In the background, Dawn slowly gets up and starts edging away. Ben turns to her. GLORY: No, no, no! Glory grabs Dawn and throws her across the alley. Dawn slams into a dumpster and falls to the ground. GLORY: Stick around, chica. BEN: I won't let you hurt her, Glory. GLORY: Ooh, shut your hole, you sanctimonious little meatworm. (advances on the frightened Dawn) I'm going home no matter what you do. Glory looks to the side, reaches down to grab something, morphs into Ben as she picks it up. It's an empty beer bottle. Ben slams it against the side of the dumpster, breaking it. He holds the broken edge up to Dawn's face. Dawn cringes away in terror. BEN: You really think I'll just let that happen? GLORY: Benjamin, what are you doing? BEN: You need her blood? When I'm through there won't be enough left to fill a bottle cap. Then you, hellbitch, have nowhere left- GLORY: -to go. Huh! Glory pulls Dawn away from the dumpster, throws her across the alley, then throws the bottle against the wall. We hear it shatter. Dawn crouches on the ground staring at Glory in fear. GLORY: You can't hurt her and you know it, Ben. (sits down on a pile of bricks) I know it 'cause I feel what you're feeling. Scared. Shh! Shh! It's okay! You don't wanna die. Who would? I don't. BEN: You can't, you're immortal. GLORY: Nobody has to die here, Ben. Just let me bleed the girl and go home. Everything will work out fine. BEN: Do you really believe with all I know that you can trick me? GLORY: Stop ... and think, baby. We bleed the kid, return me to my seat of power, I become a god again... BEN: And I disappear. GLORY: Ooh, unless somebody up there likes you. Give up the girl ... I could like you a lot. Dawn watches this wide-eyed. BEN: I won't make a deal with you, Glory. GLORY: (angry) When exactly did you get stupid? I'm offering immortality here. BEN: I believe you. That's not the problem. You make me immortal, then what? (walks over to Dawn, grabs her arm and pulls her to her feet) I'd have to kill her to do it and I won't be able to live with that, not even for a day, forget about eternity! He whirls Dawn around in a circle and morphs in mid-whirl. GLORY: Baby, baby, baby Ben. (lets go of Dawn who falls to the ground again) Why do you worry so much? When you're immortal, all this crap you've been carrying around inside ... (leans against the wall) the guilt, the anger, the crazy-making pain ... (smiles) Ooh, it all just melts away like ice cream. Trust me. When all this is over I can set you up real nice. I'm making it easy. It's you ... or the girl. She slides down the wall and morphs halfway down. BEN: (panting) I can't accept that. GLORY: Accept it. (chuckles) I'm a god, stupid. She morphs into Ben again. He stares at Dawn, who stares back fearfully. Ben gets up, goes over to Dawn, holds out his hand. BEN: I'm sorry. Dawn sighs in relief, lifts her hand to take his. Ben grabs her wrist instead. DAWN: No! Ben pulls her to her feet and leads her out of the alley. BEN: Don't make this harder than it already is. Overhead shot of them from the back. They come out onto the street. BEN: I'm sorry, I got no choice. It's you or me. Three minions appear and walk up to them. Cut to: Joyce's bedroom/grave. Lingering shot of the headstone. Cut to Willow and Buffy #2 staring at it. Buffy turns to go. WILLOW: No. Buffy! Leave Dawn alone, what is this? BUFFY #2: (opening the door) My gift. This is what I do. WILLOW: I'm not talking about this, I'm talking about... Willow follows Buffy through the door, but instead of Dawn's bedroom, they come out into the magic shop. Buffy #1 walks over to the bookshelves again. In the foreground we can see the back of Buffy #2's head. Buffy #1 puts the book on the shelf. WILLOW: ...this. Willow and Buffy #2 watch as Buffy #1 puts the book on the shelf. Shot of Buffy #1 looking pensive. Shot of her hand putting the book on the shelf. WILLOW: Right here, it happened. I know it's something small, but... (shot of Buffy #1 putting the book on the shelf again) it's something. What? BUFFY #2: (staring at Buffy #1) Don't go there, Will. WILLOW: I'm not! You're the one who keeps dragging me back here! A-and you wouldn't be doing that if you weren't trying to show me something. BUFFY #2: (looks at her) Do I? WILLOW: Buffy, come on. I-it's your brain. Just tell me. They both look back over at the bookshelf. Shot of Buffy #1 putting the book on the shelf yet again. WILLOW: What happened here? Shot of Buffy #2 watching. BUFFY #1: (not turning) This was when I quit, Will. Shot of Willow standing beside Buffy #2, both staring at Buffy #1. WILLOW: You did? BUFFY #2: Just for a second. Shot of Willow and Buffy sitting in the darkened bedroom. BUFFY VOICEOVER: I remember. Cut back to the magic shop. BUFFY #1: (facing Willow) I was in the magic shop. BUFFY #2: I put a book back for Giles. BUFFY #1: Nothing special about it. And then it hit me. WILLOW: What hit you? BUFFY #2: I can't beat Glory. BUFFY #1: Glory's going to win. WILLOW: (turns to Buffy #2) You can't know that. BUFFY #2: (turns to Willow) I didn't just know it. BUFFY #1: (staring at nothing) I felt it. Glory will beat me. BUFFY #2: (looks away) And in that second of knowing it, Will... BUFFY #1: I wanted it to happen. WILLOW: Why? BUFFY #1: I wanted it over. This is ... all of this ... it's too much for me. BUFFY #2: (staring at nothing) I just wanted it over. BUFFY #1: If Glory wins ... then Dawn dies. BUFFY #2: And I would grieve. People would feel sorry for me. (looks at Willow) But it would be over. (looks away) And I imagined what a relief it would be. Willow looks over at the bookcase. Buffy #1 yet again puts the book on the shelf. BUFFY #2: I killed Dawn. Willow frowns, looks at Buffy #2. WILLOW: Is that what you think? Shot of the "real" Buffy sitting blankly in the bedroom. BUFFY VOICEOVER: My thinking it made it happen. Cut back to the magic shop. BUFFY #1: Some part of me wanted it. And in the moment Glory took Dawn... BUFFY #2: I know I could have done something better. But I didn't. I was off by some fraction of a second. BUFFY #1: And this is why... BUFFY #2: ...I killed my sister. Willow frowns, looks from one Buffy to the other. Buffy #1 puts the book on the shelf again. WILLOW: I think Spike was right back at the gas station. (loudly) Snap out of it! Buffy #2 looks at Willow in surprise. Buffy #1 whirls away from the bookcase. BUFFY #1: What? BUFFY #2: What? WILLOW: All this ... it has a name. It's called guilt. (the two Buffys exchange a look) It's a feeling, and it's important. (to Buffy #2) But it's not more than that, Buffy. (glances at Buffy #1) Buffys. The Buffys both look pensive. WILLOW: You've carried the weight of the world on your shoulders since high school. And I, I know you didn't ask for this, but ... you do it every day. And so, you wanted out for one second. So what? BUFFY #2: (pensive) I got Dawn killed. WILLOW: Hello! Your sister, not dead yet! But she will be if you stay locked inside here and never come back to us. BUFFY #2: (looking at Buffy #1) But what if I can't? WILLOW: Then I guess you're right. And you did kill your sister. Willow turns and starts walking toward the magic shop entrance. Buffy #2 turns to her in alarm. BUFFY #2: Wait! Shot of Willow and Buffy sitting in the bedroom. BUFFY VOICEOVER: Where are you going? Cut back to magic shop. Willow turns back. WILLOW: Where you're needed. Are you coming? Shot of Buffy #2 staring at Willow. Behind Buffy #2, Buffy #1 walks up to the bookcase and puts the book on the shelf. Pauses. Closer shot of Buffy #1 as she turns toward the others. Cut to the real Buffy in the chair in the bedroom. Suddenly with a start she comes to, sits up straighter, looks around, breathing heavily. Longer shot of her and Willow sitting there. Willow stares at Buffy. Buffy turns to face Willow again. Suddenly she bursts into tears. Willow gets up off the bed and kneels beside Buffy's chair, puts her arms around Buffy and holds her as she cries. Cut to the real magic shop. Giles stands in the back making tea. Sound of the door opening. Giles looks through the bookcase toward the door. GILES: Buffy? (aside) She's back. We see Spike and Xander sitting at the table beside Giles. XANDER: You're okay? BUFFY: Yeah. I'm okay. Buffy enters, comes toward the table. Behind her we see Willow leading Tara in, and Anya closing the door behind them. BUFFY: Hear you found the ritual text. GILES: Uh, something like that, yes. XANDER: Did you know that ... Ben is Glory? BUFFY: So I'm told. What do we know? GILES: Um ... well, uh ... (Willow, Anya, and Tara sit around the table) ...according to these scrolls, uh, it's possible for Glory to be stopped. Giles pauses. Buffy gives him a raised-eyebrow look to say, "go on." GILES: I-I'm afraid it's, um ... well, Buffy, I've read these things very carefully and there's not much ... margin for error. You understand what I'm saying? BUFFY: Might help if you actually said it. Giles gives a small smile, nods, puts his mug on the table and sits, removes his glasses. GILES: Um ... Glory ... plans to open a ... dimensional portal ... by way of a ritual bloodletting. BUFFY: Dawn's blood. GILES: Yes. (pause) Once the blood is shed at a certain time and place ... the fabric which separates all realities will ... be ripped apart. Shot of Willow listening while holding Tara's hand; Tara staring vaguely at the ceiling, and Spike staring at the table. GILES: Dimensions will ... pour into one another, uh, with no barriers to stop them. (shot of Xander and Anya listening) Reality as we know it will be destroyed, and ... chaos will reign on earth. BUFFY: So how do we stop it? GILES: The portal will only close once the blood is stopped ... and the only way for that to happen is, um ... Zoom in on Giles's face as he first avoids Buffy's eyes, finally looks up at her. GILES: Buffy, the only way is to kill Dawn. Buffy reacts with dismay. Blackout. Executive Producer: Joss Whedon.	Plan: A: Buffy; Q: Who lapses into a catatonic state? A: a catatonic state; Q: What state does Buffy lapse into? A: Willow; Q: Who uses magic to find out why Buffy is catatonic? A: Dawn's ultimate fate; Q: What is the subject of the tug-of-war between Glory and Ben? Summary: When Buffy lapses into a catatonic state, Willow uses magic to find out why; a tug-of-war erupts between Glory and Ben over Dawn's ultimate fate.
[EXT. LAS VEGAS (STOCK) -- NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DEVON HOTEL -- LOBBY -- NIGHT] (A MAN and A WOMAN walk through the lobby, their arms around each other.) Man: You're going to like my room. You can see the entire strip from my balcony ... and the bed. (He turns her around, her back against the wall. Her hands come up against his chest.) Woman: (nervously) I usually don't do this. I-I mean, especially with somebody that I just met. Man: Yeah? Well, I could tell that just by looking at you. (The MAN presses the elevator door button. The elevator bell dings.) Woman: Uh ... Man: Come on, don't worry, all right? You can trust me. Okay? Woman: Promise? Man: I never lie. (The MAN starts to kiss the WOMAN. He backs her up into the elevator.) Woman: You are so bad. Man: Yeah, I am. (He lifts her up and carries her into the elevator. He presses her against the elevator wall and starts kissing her. After a moment, the woman looks down and sees the dead body on the floor ... ) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DEVON HOTEL -- NIGHT] (SARA and GRISSOM arrive at the scene. They duck under the crime scene tape and walk toward BRASS who is already there.) Sara: Hey. Dispatch said suspicious circs. Brass: Yeah. We got an anonymous call to 9-1-1 at the same time the couple found him. A male voice said: "A man has collapsed at the Devon. Hurry." Grissom: Where's the man? (GRISSOM looks at the empty elevator. There are two cones on the floor ... and no body.) Brass: Oh, he's unconscious, but breathing. So paramedics took him to Desert Palm Hospital. There was no bullet wounds, no knife ... nothing. Sara: You got a name? Brass: Bob Fairmont. Upscale home developer. Sara: "A Fairmont Home, You'll Never Roam?" Those billboards are everywhere. Brass: Well, they took these pictures before they moved him. (BRASS hands GRISSOM a stack of photos. GRISSOM puts his kit down and looks through the photos.) Grissom: Well, this is as phony as a chappaquiddick neck brace. See how the clothes are all bunched. Sara: Collar's off to the side, leg fabric's gathered. Grissom: It's impossible to redress an unconscious person to make it look like they dressed themselves. You notice anything about the suit coat? (GRISSOM shows the photo to BRASS. BRASS takes it and looks at it.) Brass: Well, unless he's going to court or to church, there's no way he buttons all three buttons. (BRASS gives the photo back to GRISSOM.) Grissom: Very good, Jim. (to SARA) Why do they think they can fool us? HARD CUT TO BLACK. END OF TEASER. ROLL TITLE CREDITS. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DEVON HOTEL - LOBBY -- NIGHT] (SARA takes pictures of the elevator. GRISSOM studies the photos.) Brass: I'm going to go to the hospital to talk to Fairmont's wife. (SARA continues to take pictures.) Grissom: Call me if you learn anything. (BRASS leaves. NICK walks up to them.) Nick: Hey, guys. I just pulled the manager out of a restaurant. Bob Fairmont was staying in room 2927. Catherine's parking the car. Grissom: Let's go up. Sara: We'll meet you there. Nick: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DEVON HOTEL - HALLWAY -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM walks toward room 2927. In front of them is the door to the stairs. NICK, SARA and CATHERINE follow. They all stop in front of the closed room door.) Grissom: Mr. Fairmont was staying in Murder Central. Catherine: (agrees) Mmm. Nick: "Murder Central"? Sara: You never heard that phrase? Nick: (exasperated) Well, if I did, would I have asked the question? (SARA looks smug as she got a reaction from NICK. Grissom: Sara, you're with me in here. (to CATHERINE and NICK) You guys get the elevator. Catherine: All yours, girl. Sara: Thanks. (GRISSOM unlocks the hotel room door. He and SARA enter. CATHERINE and NICK walk back down the hallway.) Nick: (disgruntled) Sara doesn't know what Murder Central means any more than I do. Catherine: (puts a hand on NICK'S shoulder) Oh, Nick, give it up. We got a death imminent to worry about. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM -- NIGHT] (BRASS questions JULIA FAIRMONT) Julia Fairmont: My husband's in surgery. Can't this wait? Brass: I'm sorry, no. He was found under suspicious circumstances. Do you have any idea who may have redressed him or moved him? Julia Fairmont: (shakes her head) He usually goes with women who look a lot like me ... only younger. And I'm embarrassed to say that I've been flattered by that, at times. Brass: Do you have a name? Julia Fairmont: I was very much on the outside of that part of his life. Brass: I see. (BRASS puts his notebook back in his jacket pocket.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DEVON HOTEL - ROOM 2927 -- NIGHT] (Standing side-by-side, GRISSOM and SARA look at the room in front of them. They're silent as they look around the room.) Sara: I know. The room's talking to us. They had champagne. (SARA walks into the room, GRISSOM remains by the door.) Sara: They were celebrating something. (She looks at the glasses.) Sara: No lipstick on either glass. 9-1-1 did say it was a man's voice that placed the call. Grissom: Smell the musk? Hint of bleach? (GRISSOM looks up at the mirror over the bed. He notices that the bed is mussed.) Grissom: Sexual intercourse. (SARA turns around to look at GRISSOM.) Sara: They kept the drapes open. A married man who's not worried about ... photographs, long lenses ... Grissom: Well, he's either careless or arrogant, maybe. Sara: Or he has a death wish. (SARA looks down and picks up a bra.) 34 C? If he was with a woman, who was the guy on the 911 call? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DEVON HOTEL - ELEVATOR -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE and NICK work on the elevator.) Catherine: Hand me that magnifier. (NICK hands her the magnifier.) Thank you. Nick: What do you got? Catherine: See those white specks? (Camera zooms for a close up of the white specks. Resume to present.) Nick: What do you think, cocaine? Catherine: No, I don't think so. Nick: How can you tell just by looking? Catherine: Never you mind. (CATHERINE takes a tape lift of the white specks.) Catherine: Let's just get this to trace. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DEVON HOTEL - ROOM 2927] (NICK opens the hotel room door and walks inside. GRISSOM and SARA are just putting on their goggles and taking out the ALS.) Nick: Okay, we're done in the elevator. You guys need a hand? Grissom: Yeah, you want to dust the champagne bottle? Sara: The average American hotel room is covered with stains invisible to the naked eye. Grissom: Yeah, but they're not all biological. Some are soda stains, food stains, whiskey stains, you know. Sara: No matter how clean or expensive the room seems that why always travel with nonoxinol nine. (They stand up.) Grissom: You sound like you're making a commercial. Nick, hit the lights, will you? (NICK turns the lights off.) Grissom: Okay, we're looking for the freshest stains. Sara: Soda, maybe ... maybe champagne ... oh! Someone's little soldiers ... more champagne. (They look up at the walls.) Grissom: Hmm ... "starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight." (GRISSOM takes off his goggles and heads for the door.) Grissom: Okay, I'll let you guys do the collection. Nick: Thanks a lot. (GRISSOM turns around.) Grissom: Oh, and Sara? Sara: Hmm. Grissom: Last hotel room nearest the stairwell -- easy entry and egress for an intruder and if the victim fights back, fifty percent less chance of being heard. Sara: Rooms only on one side. Murder Central. (GRISSOM nods his head and leaves the room. The door closes behind him.) Nick: (smiling) You are so busted. (SARA turns around to look at NICK. She smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- NIGHT] (Camera close up of a scope view of the "white specks" found on the elevator floor. The magnification view is increased. Camera turns around and goes back up the viewer to the eye looking through the scope. End of scope view.) Catherine: I gave this to trace. Why do you have Greg: Well, because I deal in DNA. The smallest sliver of epidermal tissue. Catherine: This is skin. Greg: Scalp skin. Itchy. Can be embarrassing in social situations especially if one is wearing a dark shirt. Catherine: Dandruff. (GREG reaches out and brushes non-existent dandruff from CATHERINE'S shoulder.) Greg: Good chance whoever moved the guy into the elevator ... Catherine: Had a bad case of seborrhea. (CATHERINE deliberately leans forward and brushes the non-existent dandruff from GREG'S shoulder.) Catherine: Thanks. (CATHERINE turns to leave the lab. GREG stops her.) Greg: Hey, Catherine? Do you think Sara would ever go out with me? Catherine: (thinks about it) Sure. (deadpans) As long as you don't tell her it's a date. (CATHERINE leaves the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE exits the DNA lab and walks down the hallway. WARRICK catches up with her.) Warrick: Hey, Cath... are you on this Fairmont case? Catherine: House mogul caught with his pants on? Yeah, I'm just rolling to the hospital to get his clothes. Why? Warrick: You know the Fairmont house was one of my first calls three years ago? Catherine: You serious? For what? Warrick: Shots fired. He shot himself while he was cleaning his gun. Catherine: Wow! Warrick: Yeah. And after hearing about tonight I'm wondering if that's what really happened. I'm going to pull his file and check it out. Catherine: Let me know. Warrick: I will. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DEVON HOTEL - ROOM 2927] (NICK picks up the used condom from the fixture on the wall.) Nick: Nice shot. (looks inside) Reservoir's still wet. (NICK bags it.) Sara: Why did he throw it? Nick: Mmm. I'm only impressed if he aimed. Sara: I wonder if the woman has any idea she left her DNA behind? Nick: Not rocket science. Man's inside, woman's out. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (BRASS fills GRISSOM in about the 911 tape.) Brass: Wife says the guy's a player. She doesn't know the women. Grissom: You tell her about the 911 tape? Brass: The male voice? Oh, I just got back from central dispatch. The tape's lost. New computer system. Grissom: Any ear-witnesses? Brass: The dispatcher says it could've been a woman whispering. Or a very old person, gender indeterminate. Grissom: That's about as good as an eyewitness. (GRISSOM'S phone rings. He answers it.) Grissom: Grissom. (pause) What? (pause) I'll be right there. (He hangs up and looks at BRASS.) Grissom: No lunch. (GRISSOM turns around and heads back down the hallway.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE #13 [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY] (ROBBINS goes over the findings with GRISSOM.) Grissom: We got a time? Robbins: Well, all indications are he was brain-dead from the time he collapsed at the hotel Grissom: From? (Quick CGI POV to: A camera close up of the deceased's forehead. White flash to a view of the brain where blood starts to leak out.) Robbins: (V.O.) An artery out-pouches blood floods the subarachnoid space. (End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) Robbins: Heart still beats, but the brain's dead. And it doesn't regenerate. Grissom: Aneurysm from trauma ... infection...? Robbins: Genetic predisposition. Both parents went that way. It increases a person's chance of stroke ten-fold. He looks like an athlete. Grissom: Brain dead at 38, otherwise healthy and strong. Is this a Frankenstein? Robbins: I was wondering when you'd ask. Prime donor candidate. Next of kin signed off. Grissom: How many organs they take? Robbins: Eight in under two hours. Grissom: Man, those harvest doctors move, don't they? (Quick flashback to: The heart monitor beeps. The doctor puts the first organ in the pan.) Doctor: Kidneys, stat! DOCTOR: Go, go, go! (Various flashes of the organs being removed and of various machinery monitoring the donor.) Doctor: Here comes the liver. Ready with a basin, please. Nurse: For ... DOCTOR: Right now. DOCTOR: And here we go! (The second organ goes into the pan marked: "Liver".) Doctor: Clamp it. DOCTOR: Get it back, get it back. DOCTOR: Ready and got it. DOCTOR: Here we go. (The final organ is placed in the pan. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: (nods) All right, I'll notify the PD about the organs. (GRISSOM leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB] (GREG takes a swab from the condom. SARA reads through some papers as she waits.) Greg: So I was thinking. Maybe we could take our break at the same time. (beat) Later this shift. (beat) Together. Sara: Sure. Greg: (surprised) Really. (GREG tests the swab. SARA leans in to look.) Sara: Semen. No surprise there. Greg: Well, without the DNA sample from the hotel guy this test is pretty useless. (SARA goes back to looking at the photos.) Sara: I'm more interested ... in who the woman is. Greg: Well, just like the bra, I'm going to need a reference of her DNA in order to do anything, and that's not going to happen until ... (SARA rifles through the autopsy photos. She sees something.) Sara: What the heck? Greg: What? Sara: (looking up) Stripes. (Without further explanation, SARA walks out of the lab.) Greg: Stripes. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY] (SARA and GRISSOM walk through the hallway. SARA shows GRISSOM the photos.) Sara: Transverse white bands that appear six weeks after the onset of symptoms of toxicity. Grissom: You got a closer view? (SARA hands GRISSOM the photo she was looking at. Camera zooms in to the fingernails to show the white stripes.) Grissom: Uh ... Sara: They look like mees lines to me. Grissom: Could be livor mortis. Sara: Or white striae, indicative of heavy metal poisoning. Grissom: We can't count on a photo to draw that kind of conclusion. We need the body. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY] (SARA, GRISSOM and ROBBINS look at the empty table.) Sara: Don't take this wrong, Dr. Robbins, but ... how do you release a body that's been redressed and dumped in an elevator? (ROBBINS pushes the table back into the cabinet.) Robbins: I deal with cause of death, which was an aneurysm and therefore, a natural, and based on that his body is released to a mortuary. (ROBBINS sits down at the computer monitor.) Sara: The whole transplant thing didn't raise a flag? Grissom: I thought I'd raised a flag with the good doctor when I told him I was going to notify the police department but evidently, I mis-communicated again. Sara: Great. (ROBBINS enters the search in the computer database.) (The results are as follows: [Name: FAIRMONT, ROBERT Cause of Death: Natural Date: 12/13/01 Time of Death: 4:00 a.m. Case #: 29574 Destination: Desert Haven Mortuary ] Robbins: All may not be lost. Here... body of Robert Fairmont released at 0400 hours to the Desert Haven Mortuary. Sara: I know that place. Grissom: Well, if they haven't embalmed him we can still get a blood sample test for heavy metal poisoning. Sara: Good. I'll drive. (SARA heads for the door. She turns around when she realizes that GRISSOM isn't moving.) Sara: You're not coming? Grissom: (looks up) You found it, you run with it. (SARA seems surprised.) Grissom: You can do it. Take Nick. Sara: Okay. (SARA leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DESERT HAVEN MORTUARY] (FURNACE POV: SARA looks in through the window. Her face shows her shock and surprise.) Sara: How long's he been in here? Randy Gesek: 92 minutes at 1,600 degrees. At, exactly, was it that you wanted to see? (SARA turns around to look at RANDY GESEK.) Nick: His fingernails. Randy Gesek: I'm very sorry. Nick: Who approved this cremation? (RANDY looks at his clipboard and sighs.) Randy Gesek: His wife, Julia Fairmont. Sara: Same person who approved the organ transplants. (RANDY nods. SARA turns to look at the furnace.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (Camera opens on the evidence bag of ROBERT "BOB" FAIRMONT'S ashes. The bag is dated 12/6. Case # 81585171. Labeled: "Ashes of Bob Fairmont" and "DOB 2-25- (SARA picks up a piece of ash and places it in a mortar. She grounds it with a pestle.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - WAITING ROOM] (BRASS and SARA JULIA FAIRMONT.) Brass: You told me your husband was in surgery. Julia Fairmont: He was. Brass: Surgery to take his organs not to save his life. Julia Fairmont: He was technically ... dead. He wanted to donate his organs. I was following his wishes. Why are you being so hostile? Brass: Someone was poisoning your husband. Julia Fairmont: What? Sara: We don't know the dose or the duration but we do know the type of poison. We processed your husband's remains. (Quick series of flashes to match SARA'S narration. SARA in the lab taking the piece of ash. SARA testing a sample of the ash in the analyzer. SARA pressing the button to start the machine.) (Machine test results read as follows for "Alignment Mode Lamp 1": [Name: Se-02-196.1-lib3 Pulse: Wide Lamp: Se Buck sci Bkgnd: Off Wavelength: 196.0- Slit: 0.2 Pnt: 304.9V Energy: 2.652 ] Sara: (V.O.) Most poisons would be completely burned off by cremation but heavy metals are very resistant to heat. This heavy metal -- selenium. (White flash to the fire in the furnace. Printer prints results. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: Did you notice that your husband's breath might have been garlicky? Julia Fairmont: Garlicky? Sara: The body will excrete demethyl selenide -- smells just like garlic. Julia Fairmont: Uh... no. Sara: The white stripes on his fingernails--did you notice those? Julia Fairmont: Um ... we didn't see each other a lot. Bob was busy building his company. Sara: That bother you, him never being home? (JULIA FAIRMONT looks at BRASS.) Julia Fairmont: I think it would bother any woman. Sara: Did you know that the most common choice of premeditated murder among women is poison? They cite its passivity. Julia Fairmont: I did not poison my husband. Sara: You cremated his body. Julia Fairmont: He wanted to be cremated. I cremated him. He wanted to donate his organs. I did that, too. Now, if there's nothing else, I will be at home preparing for my husband's memorial service. Excuse me. (Angry, JULIA FAIRMONT grabs her jacket and stands up to leave. SARA stops her.) Sara: Do you want us to notify you? (SARA and JULIA turn around to look at each other.) Julia Fairmont: Of what? (SARA stands up and walks toward JULIA FAIRMONT.) Sara: When we find out the exact amount of selenium given to your husband and over what period of time? Julia Fairmont: I thought you couldn't tell. Sara: Your husband's gone, but his organs are still out there. Julia Fairmont: (nods) Well, good. Yes, I would like to be notified. (SARA turns to look at BRASS.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL] (NICK stands behind the physician as they explain the situation to the PATIENT, CARL MERCER, in the bed.) Carl Mercer: Straight up, am I going to die? Physician: You have only a small fraction of the poison that was in your donor's body--one organ. With nothing new coming in it should work its way out. Carl Mercer: I must've had 100 tests. How'd you doctors miss this? Nick: A heavy metal like selenium presents so rarely that it's Carl Mercer: You don't look like a doctor. Nick: (smiles) No, sir, no, I'm not. I'm Nick Stokes. I'm with the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Physician: I'll be right outside. Nick: Thank you, doctor. (The doctor leaves. NICK steps up toward the bed.) Nick: I was hoping I might be able to get a sample of that new kidney of yours. Carl Mercer: A sample? Nick: Biopsy. A sliver. Carl Mercer: You mean open me up again? Nick: Maybe an invasive scope. The only way I can get an accurate barometer of the poison in Mr. Fairmont's system is through one of his organs. Carl Mercer: I'm sorry, young man but this is my kidney now. (He shakes his head.) I waited four years. I can't have anyone cut into me for it. I just can't. Nick: Hey, I understand. Thank you for your time. (NICK glances down at the watch on the railing.) Nick: I like your watch, man, that's cool. Carl Mercer: It broke while I was down in surgery--stuck on 11:00. Think the Lord's trying to tell me something? (NICK chuckles.) Nick: Yeah, get it to a watch repair shop. (pause) I hope you get to feeling better, Mr. Mercer. (NICK leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (SARA updates GRISSOM.) Sara: Nick struck out on the kidney. I got four "no's" over the phone. One yes from a recipient in Illinois-- heart. Grissom: Useless-- heart has no memory for poison. Sara: Why can't we cut the middle man and just check the wife's house for selenium? (GRISSOM looks at SARA.) All right, I know, something about constitutional law. Get probable cause, then get a search warrant ... (GREG walks on into the hallway, directly in front of SARA and GRISSOM.) Greg: Sara! I was just looking for you. Still up for break? Sara: Sorry, Greggo-- hot case. I'm going to go look at Nick's champagne bottle. How you doing with our DNA? Greg: Uh ... inside-outside we're still looking for a reference for comparison but the epidermals are looking promising. Sara: Nice. (SARA leaves.) Grissom: You want to clue me in? Greg: Sara and I were just going out for dinner. Grissom: On the case, "Greggo". Greg: Oh. Right. (GREG turns back in to his lab. GRISSOM follows.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL] (CLAUDIA GIDEON walks in and heads for the Nurse's station. CATHERINE is standing next to the station, waiting.) Claudia Gideon: Excuse me ... I'm Claudia Gideon, Bob Fairmont's secretary. I came to pick up his property. Nurse: Oh, I'm sorry, but Ms. Willows already asked for them. Catherine: His property is part of our investigation. I'm afraid I have to take it. Claudia Gideon: Oh, fine. I was just doing my job. Catherine: Yeah, me, too. Did you work for the Fairmonts three years ago, when Mr. Fairmont was shot? Claudia Gideon: I was out sick that day. Catherine: Interesting. (CATHERINE sees something on CLAUDIA'S sweater.) Catherine: You have dandruff. (CATHERINE turns to get tape from her kit.) Claudia Gideon: Is that really proper etiquette? Catherine: It is when I'm on a case. Do you mind? (CATHERINE takes a tape lift.) Claudia Gideon: Where did you say you worked? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM] (BRASS questions CLAUDIA GIDEON.) Brass: I'm going to ask you again -- were you in that hotel room with Bob Fairmont? (CATHERINE enters the room and closes the door.) Claudia Gideon: I was not, no. Catherine: But you did redress him and place him in the elevator. Claudia Gideon: You don't know what you're talking about. Catherine: Well, that's dangerous to say to a scientist. (CATHERINE puts her file on the table.) Catherine: Dandruff is nothing more than sloughed-off skin. It has a nucleus just like a cell on your arm or your big toe. (CATHERINE puts the test results and photo in front of CLAUDIA GIDEON.) Catherine: These 13 DNA markers from this dandruff cell are a match to the dandruff that I recovered from your sweater. You were there. At that hotel. Claudia Gideon: Okay, Mr. Fairmont told me earlier that day to meet him in his hotel room at 9:00 to pick up some papers, okay? When I got there, he was in bed -- naked, (Quick flashback to: CLAUDIA GIDEON finds BOB FAIRMONT in bed naked. She looks shocked.) Claudia Gideon: (V.O.) ... unconscious. (CLAUDIA moves and picks up his clothes.) Claudia Gideon: (V.O.) He always told me reputation before health -- no scandals. I dragged him to the elevator. (CLAUDIA drags BOB FAIRMONT into the elevator. She leaves him there. The elevator doors close. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Let me guess -- you snuck out down the stairwell. (She nods.) Brass: Who was Fairmont partying with in that room? Claudia Gideon: I don't know. Catherine: Well, we won't mind if we compare your DNA to the vaginal contribution of a condom that we recovered from Mr. Fairmont's room? Claudia Gideon: (nods) Sure, go ahead. Catherine: Good. We'd like to show you something else -- about that accidental shooting three years ago at your boss' house. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - OFFICE] (On the monitor is a computer reinactment of the first shooting years ago. The green figure is sitting down at a table when the gun falls down and shoots the victim in the groin.) Warrick: In this reinactment, Fairmont shot himself while cleaning his gun? In this reenactment the story just doesn't add up. I think I fell for it because I was new and I wasn't too eager to talk to another guy about him almost shooting off his manhood. (BRASS sighs. WARRICK straightens the monitor.) Warrick: This is the room as it was then based off of my crime scene photos. This is crime scene reconstruction, new school. Works backward, reverse time. (On the monitor it shows a different scenario with the green figure standing in the foyer.) Warrick: The bullet hit here. (The screen backs up showing a red figure (the shooter) sitting in a chair and shooting the green figure (the victim) in the groin.) Warrick: The only logical place for that bullet to have been shot from is four meters away, one meter high. He didn't actually shoot himself. Someone shot him. Catherine: We're thinking it was you. Brass: Admission form from the ER, 9/6/98. The person who brought Fairmont in on the accidental shooting... was you. (BRASS puts a copy of the Record of Admissions Form from the Desert Palms Hospital in front of her. The application Information reads as follows: [Name: FAIRMONT, BOB Local Residence - Street: 41733 Calle Matria City - Town: Las Vegas State: NV County: Clark Date Admitted: 9/6/98 Time Admitted: 10:32 Patient Accompanied by: CLAUDIA GIDEON Address: 311 Sephill Rd, Las Vegas, NV 89109 Attending Physician: Dr. Tommy Liu Address: 826 Herrick Ln, Las Vegas, NV 89109 Alternate Physician: Dr. Sheryl Aragon Address: 311 Sephill Rd, Las Vegas, NV 89108 Next of kin or representative/Relationship: Tyson Green Brother-in-law Address: 493 Fairmark, Las Vegas, NV 89108 Person to notify in Emergency/Relationship: Tyson Green Brother-in-law Address: Same as Above ] Claudia Gideon: I didn't shoot him. Brass: You didn't poison him, either. All these bad things just happen to you. Claudia Gideon: I'm on call 24 hours a day, okay? Mr. Fairmont beeped me. I drove out to the house, and I took him in. Catherine: Where was his wife? (CLAUDIA shakes her head.) Claudia Gideon: You'd have to ask her. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - INTERVIEW ROOM] (CATHERINE, WARRICK and BRASS requestion JULIA FAIRMONT.) Julia Fairmont: Yes, I shot him. He was supposed to go riding with me and he didn't show up till two in the morning. No calls, nothing. I was ... hurt. Catherine: So, you just sat there in the dark and aimed south of his belt. Julia Fairmont: I just wanted to scare him. (Quick flashback to: BOB FAIRMONT returns home and finds his wife angry and holding a gun on him.) Bob Fairmont: It was a business meeting. BOB FAIRMONT: I swear. BOB FAIRMONT: I-it wasn't like before. BOB FAIRMONT: I was thinking about you the whole time. (She shoots. He grunts from the impact. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: So, why didn't you tell the truth then? Mrs. Fairmont: I wanted to, but Bob wouldn't let me. He said that it would ruin his career -- Fairmont Family Estates. Warrick: I'm presenting this case to the D.A., even if it is three years old. Claudia: My husband's dead. We had our problems but I loved him I don't ... I don't much care what you do now. Brass: Well, there's only two reasons a woman shoots a man. She either loves him or hates him. Catherine: Or both. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB] (GRISSOM looks through the scope at the dandruff sample.) Greg: That's the sample Catherine pulled off of the secretary's blouse and the hotel man's clothes -- same source. Grissom: Secretary moved the body. Catherine: We just interviewed her. She copped to moving him. We're looking hard at the wife on the poisoning. Grissom: The secretary has dandruff. Catherine: We know. Dermatomycoses seborrhea -- we got it. Grissom: Pical eczemas like that require prescription medication. The primary ingredient of those medications -- selenium sulfide. (CATHERINE sighs at missing the obvious. She heads out the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FAIRMONT RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (BRASS and CATHERINE are on the porch talking with JULIA FAIRMONT.) Julia Fairmont: I don't really feel right about doing this. Brass: Oh, this is your residence. Everything in Claudia's office is your property. (CATHERINE and BRASS step inside.) Catherine: She could be back from dinner at any moment. This shouldn't take long. (The door closes behind them. CATHERINE and BRASS walk into the office and start looking around. JULIA FAIRMONT waits by the door. CATHERINE opens the cabinet and finds a large brown bottle in the back. She picks it up and looks at the label.) (The label reads: [Pharmacy / 493 Fairmark Ave., Las Vegas,NV 89107 CLAUDIA GIDEON Fill Date: 7/21/01 Phone: (702) 555-0150 Rx No: 4529975 Dr: Doty "USE AS NEEDED FOR SEBORRHEA" NIZORAL A-D 24 OZ DATE: 11/07/01 DISCARD AFTER: REFILL: 1 BY: 11/7/02 ] (The front door slams shut. CLAUDIA GIDEON walks in carrying a storage box.) Claudia Gideon: That's mine. Brass: Could you tell us why you keep your shampoo in your office? Catherine: Shampoo full of the same poison found in Bob Fairmont's remains? Claudia Gideon: I don't know. Brass: Aw, you have to do better than that. Claudia Gideon: Maybe I pied it up at the pharmacy on lunch and put it there. I don't know. (CATHERINE opens the refrigerator and looks inside. She finds a small tub of garlic cream cheese.) Catherine: Cream cheese. (CLAUDIA scoffs.) Catherine: Garlic cream cheese ... Brass: Hides the bitter aftertaste. (Quick flashback to: BOB FAIRMONT eating a bagel loaded with cream cheese. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: It explains away his bad breath. (Quick flashback to: BOB FAIRMONT finishing the bagel with cream cheese and laughing. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Claudia Gideon: I did not poison him. (The cabinet door closes.) Catherine: We'll see. Julia Fairmont: Aren't you going to arrest her? (CLAUDIA scoffs.) Claudia Gideon: I haven't done anything. Julia Fairmont: Other than poison Bob. Claudia Gideon: Poison? I'm the one who looked out for him. Julia Fairmont: You? I ran his home. I entertained his clients. Claudia Gideon: Who made all of his dental appointments, huh? His haircuts? Who got his taxes in on time? Julia Fairmont: You covered for his mistresses ... Claudia Gideon: Why did he need mistresses? Brass: Ladies ... don't go there. Catherine: This is yours ... and these are yours. (CATHERINE hands each woman a key.) There's the door. We build a case before we make any arrests. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL] (NICK walks into CARL MERCER'S hospital room.) Nick: Hey, Mr. Mercer. I got your message. You wanted to talk to me? Carl Mercer: Did you find out who poisoned Mr. Fairmont? Nick: No. No, sir. ,I have found selenium in his office but... without actually knowing how much was in his system ... Carl Mercer: What if I could tell you? My body's rejecting the organ. Doctor says it's got nothing to do with poison. It's antibodies. Nick: I'm sorry. Carl Mercer: I told you this watch stopped while I was down in surgery? It's funny ... it's like it knew all along the kidney wasn't going to take. Anyway... there's one last good thing I can do before I leave this earth. So ... how do we do this? (NICK nods. Camera holds on CARL MERCER.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE] (NICK talks to GRISSOM about CARL MERCER.) Nick: I can't even talk Warrick into splitting a sandwich with me and this guy's willing to give us his kidney? Grissom: You asked for it. Nick: Yeah, that's my point. Carl Mercer risks dying sooner to help our investigation but who protects his rights? Grissom: He has free will. Nick: Well, so do I. I want to retract our request. I don't think any investigation for the dead is worth hurting the living. (GRISSOM turns around. He doesn't say anything.) Nick: What? (SARA calls out to them from the doorway.) Sara: Guys? You're not going to believe this. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB] (SARA runs the print through the database.) Sara: Funny sometimes it is the simplest things that seems so difficult. I've been trying to match the partial from the champagne bottle to these known prints. It was upside down. (The computer beeps.) Grissom: Must've grabbed the bottle ... (Quick flashback to: BOB FAIRMONT in bed with someone. She reaches over and grabs the champagne bottle.) Grissom: ... upside-down to pour. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (On the monitor, it shows that a match was found. The prints match up. GRISSOM looks at SARA.) Grissom: So ... who was he with? Sara: Mrs. Fairmont. Nick: (surprised) What? Player was in the hotel cheating with his own wife? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM] (BRASS re-interviews JULIA FAIRMONT.) Julia Fairmont: I was trying to ... rekindle our marriage. I ... got the room ... brought the champagne. (Quick flashback to: BOB FAIRMONT in bed with his wife.) Bob Fairmont: (moaning) Oh, yes. Yes. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Julia Fairmont: He squeezed me in between business meetings at the hotel. Brass: And you didn't think to tell me that when we first talked? (In the observation room, GRISSOM, SARA and NICK listen in on the questioning.) Julia Fairmont: No, because you asked me about him being redressed in an elevator ... and, besides, when I left him, he was ... alive watching the news. (Quick flashback to: JULIA kisses BOB FAIRMONT and leaves. The news can be heard on the television. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: Oh, so, he had a stroke alone, after you left. (Quick flashback to: BOB FAIRMONT puts a hand to his forehead and collapses back on the bed. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Julia Fairmont: I'm not a doctor. I don't know when he had it. Brass: Well, CSI is testing that champagne bottle for selenium. Julia Fairmont: I didn't think poison caused strokes. Brass: You seem to know a lot about poison for not being a doctor. Julia Fairmont: I know a lot of things about a lot of things, but that doesn't mean that I killed my husband. [SCENE_BREAK] [OBSERVATION ROOM] (Upon hearing this, GRISSOM looks at SARA.) Grissom: Yeah ... but what never lies? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CSI - EVIDENCE ROOM] (GRISSOM sifts through BOB FAIRMONT'S ashes. SARA sits on the table next to him and looks at the file.) Sara: Fairmont had three gold crowns. They should've survived the cremation. Grissom: At least partially. Heavy metal, after all. Sara: His wife ... had them removed at the mortuary. That adds new meaning to the phrase "gold digger." Grissom: Actually, that's how the phrase got started. People used to dig up the bodies to extract the gold. Sara: Now they just marry them. In some countries, this would be enough to have her arrested for murdering her husband. Grissom: What's the most important component in a poisoning. (Hmmm ... trick question. SARA thinks about it.) Sara: Poison. (GRISSOM looks up at SARA.) Grissom: Patience. (SARA smiles and shakes her head.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (JULIA FAIRMONT makes her way to her parked car. She staggers a little and appears to have difficulty walking. She makes it to her car and tries to unlock the door. NICK sees her duress and calls out to her.) Nick: Ms. Fairmont ... Ms. Fairmont, you feeling okay? (She waves him away.) Julia Fairmont: Yeah, I'm, I'm ... (JULIA doubles over in pain. NICK rushes over to help her.) Nick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Julia Fairmont: Hey ... maybe I just need to sit down... for a minute. Nick: Yeah, yeah, let's sit down here in the car for a sec. (NICK opens the door and helps JULIA FAIRMONT sit inside.) Nick: There you go. Relax, relax, relax. (NICK takes out his cell phone and makes a call.) Nick: yeah, I need an ambulance. Uh, Vegas PD, west parking lot. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- OFFICE] (GREG is on the computer. NICK walks in through the hallway. He stops when he sees GREG at the computer, pauses for a moment, then walks by.) (GREG does a web search for "Julia Fairmont". He finds 900 matches.) (He narrows the search to "Julia Fairmont" in "Nevada". He finds 4 matches.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (NICK continues through the hallway. He meets up with CATHERINE and GRISSOM.) Catherine: Hey, what's going on? We called the hospital. She's been released. Nick: ER doc gave her a shot of hydropazeen ... sent her on her way. Grissom: Hydropazeen? That's an antiemetic used to counteract heavy metal poisoning. Nick: Which means ... somebody's been poisoning our suspect. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT] (BRASS questions CLAUDIA GIDEON.) (CLAUDIA GIDEON shakes her head: No.) Claudia Gideon: I don't know how it happened. Maybe she poisoned herself. Brass: Why would she do that? Claudia Gideon: (scoffs) Why would she hide my shampoo in my office? Brass: What, you know she did that? Claudia Gideon: Well, it wasn't her husband. He was already dead. She's trying to frame me for killing him. Brass: I mean, do you have anything beyond your suspicions that she did kill him? Claudia Gideon: She had his gold fillings removed. Doesn't that tell you something about her? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM] (BRASS questions JULIA FAIRMONT.) Julia Fairmont: I had his watch and ring removed, too. Do you want to see them? They're in a box at home. Brass: You realize that doesn't look good? Julia Fairmont: It can look however it wants. I have nothing to hide. Brass: You mean since you yourself have been poisoned? Julia Fairmont: Yeah, why aren't you asking Claudia Richards about that? First my husband, then me? Brass: Why would she want to kill either one of you? Julia Fairmont: I don't know. Maybe because he refused ... to leave me for her. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARMTENT - INTERVIEW ROOM] (BRASS questions CLAUDIA GIDEON.) Claudia Gideon: I had to wash his grungy coffee mug every night. I had to clean his toenail clippings off of his desktop. Why would I ever ask Bob Fairmont to leave anyone for me? Brass: So, you think it was all in Mrs. Fairmont's head? Claudia Gideon: He always said she was crazy. Brass: (scoffs) Okay, that's it. All right ... look, we're not leaving here till we get to the bottom of this. Claudia Gideon: Then I hope she talks soon. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- OFFICE] (SARA walks by the offices. She looks and sees GREG will working on the computer. She walks into the office.) Sara: Greg? Greg: (smiles) Hey. I was just printing something out for you ... on your hot case. (SARA steps inside and looks at the monitor.) Sara: From the internet? Greg: Yeah, I ... I was... on break, had some time ... thought ... hey ... (GREG gives SARA the print out of his finds. SARA looks at it.) Greg: Sorry, I drew a blank on the wife. (SARA leans in toward GREG.) Sara: (thrilled) I could really, really just kiss you right now. (Smiling, GREG bashfully turns his head away from SARA. SARA leaves the office. He sighs. When he turns back, SARA'S gone.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (SARA shows GRISSOM the information. GRISSOM looks at a photo of "Claudia and John Gideon".) Grissom: So, this is Claudia. Sara: The secretary, ten years ago her husband, John Gideon. (Across the hallway, CLAUDIA GIDEON takes a drink from the water fountain. GRISSOM and SARA turn around to look at her. CLAUDIA GIDEON smiles back at them. She leaves.) Sara: Claudia's rich husband also died young-- 35. (GRISSOM looks down at the Obituary for "John Gideon, dies at 35".) Grissom: She donated his organs and cremated his body. Sara: We don't have to chase down these organs. Ralph Parks rejected the organ that he got from Claudia's husband. Grissom: An organ with a memory, maybe? Sara: The most. Liver. (SARA show GRISSOM the report. It reads with the following information: BLOOD TYPE: A-POS Rh: NEG DATE: 4-13-93 RECIPIENT INFORMATION: NAME: RALPH PARKS ORGAN(S): LIVER STATE: ARIZONA TRANSPLANT DATE: 5-3-93 DOB: 5-30-62 / GENDER: M / BLOOD TYPE: A-POS Rh: Neg NAME: JASON JUNG ORGAN(S): AORTA TRANSPLANT DATE: 4-15-93 ] Sara: He died two months after receiving it back in '93. Lived one state over in Arizona. I have the cemetery address. (NICK rushes up toward them holding a piece of paper.) Nick: Hey, Sara, got the warrant. Sara: Awesome. We'll keep you posted. (GRISSOM nods as SARA and NICK leave. He looks up at CLAUDIA GIDEON sitting in the waiting room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CEMETARY] (A large crane lifts the coffin out of the ground as SARA and NICK watch.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY] (ROBBINS holds the sheet over the body up. NICK looks up at the ceiling.) Robbins: Embalming certainly retards the decomposition process. Nick: Yeah, But it doesn't stop the smell. Robbins: The liver's degraded but any metal should still be there. (ROBBINS lifts the cloth over the metal pan to show NICK the liver inside.) Nick: We'll find out. (NICK takes the liver and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (NICK cuts pieces of the liver off. He puts them into a blender and crushes them. He takes the liver mixture and puts it in a small container. He takes a small sample of the mixture and puts it in the machine to analyze. The results read on the monitor.) (The printer prints the results.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (SARA walks into the lab. NICK reads the results off of the printout.) Sara: Nick, did you get anything Nick: Hey, Sara. Yeah. Sodium selenite-- selenium. 280 milligrams for a 180-pound man... (NICK gives the printout to SARA. She looks at it.) Sara: That's murder. Nick: Yeah, well, it would have been murder for a 300-pound man. Sara: This is different than the shampoo compound. Nick: Yeah, it contains polysorbate 80 and vitamin E. That combination's found in selenium supplements injected in animals. Sara: Animals? Like cats, dogs? Nick: Mostly livestock, grazers. Sara: To make up for the lack of selenium nutrient in the soil. How did Claudia get access to this stuff? Catherine: (o.s.) A dairy farm. (SARA and NICK look up to see CATHERINE standing in the doorway reading a file.) Catherine: "Gideon Dairy and Cheese." Largest supplier of milk in Connecticut, in fact. Brass talked to a local chamber-of-commerce type about Claudia's husband. You want to know who his secretary was? Sara: Yeah. (CATHERINE puts the open file on the table for NICK and SARA to look at. The photograph in the picture is of John Gideon and Julia Fairmont.) Sara: Our Julia Fairmont. (SARA looks up at CATHERINE and smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM] (CATHERINE and SARA interview CLAUDIA GIDEON and JULIA FAIRMONT, together. SARA puts the photographs of each woman with JOHN GIDEON in front of each of them.) Sara: Ten years ago, you played secretary and you played wife. Claudia: We have never represented we didn't know each other previously. Julia: And I wasn't playing. I was a hard-working secretary. Catherine: And you loved your husband Right up to the day he died ... of 240 milligrams of selenium. Sara: Animal selenium, the kind used for cattle. Claudia: Well, we did live in grazing country although, I have to say, Julia knew more about livestock than I did. She rode horses. (CLAUDIA smiles.) Julia: I took the job because Mr. G let me board my horse at the family stables. Claudia: Oh, I hated the stables. The smell. Never stepped foot in them. Sara: Implicating you, the secretary. (SARA sits down.) Sara: I don't believe this. Catherine: Bravo. Ladies. You have got this down to a science. (CLAUDIA looks at JULIA. JULIA continues to look at CATHERINE.) Why did it happen the first time? Hubby ignored you or abused you or you got sick of him fooling around so you started slipping the ... (Quick flashback to: CLAUDIA stands in front of the table. In one hand she holds the bottle of selenium. In the other, she grabs the glass of drink. JULIA walks in on her.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... cow stuff into his chocolate milk? Julia must have caught you. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: So the two of you struck a deal. (Quick flashback to: CLAUDIA looks at JULIA. JULIA puts the scenario in front of her together.) Claudia: I'm, uh ... I'm coming into a lot of money. (JULIA puts the things she's carrying down. She sits down and looks at CLAUDIA.) Julia: No, we are. (CLAUDIA smiles. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: And then what? The two of you realized how quickly you could run through a couple million? So you went looking for another mark here in Nevada? Catherine: But the difference is that you actually loved Bob Fairmont. (Quick flashback to: JULIA in bed with her husband. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: You shot him because he was cheating but that didn't get in the way of your long-term goals, did it? (GRISSOM peers through the door and taps on the glass. CATHERINE looks up. She and SARA go to see what GRISSOM wants.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS] (SARA and CATHERINE walk out of the interview room.) Grissom: I just came from the D.A. Their attorneys were there as well. Based on everything we have the D.A. Is not going to move forward. He says it's a reject. Sara: Brass doesn't have anything? Grissom: Brass is still in the field. (GRISSOM looks into the interview room and tells the two women: ) Grissom: You're free to go. (They stand up to leave. SARA looks at GRISSOM. She's not happy with the outcome of the case. CATHERINE is taking it in stride.) Julia: (to CATHERINE) Where's the ladies' room? Catherine: It's down the hall to your right. Julia: Thanks. Claudia: Pardon me. (The two women leave.) Catherine: Well, no big surprise. We have proof of poison but no way to prove which one of them did it. Sara: I like either one of them for the murder-- so will a jury. Catherine: She-said/she-said defense? It's never going to fly. They'll raise each other as a viable suspect just like they did with us. Grissom: That's what the D.A. said verbatim. Catherine: See you back at CSI. (CATHERINE leaves. SARA is completely unhappy with the results.) Sara: Wait. What? So, what, and just let them move on to another state, another husband? Grissom: It's not always up to us. (Without another word, SARA walks out into the parking lot. GRISSOM turns and watches her leave. He takes off after her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. POLICE DEPARTMENT -- PARKING LOT - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (SARA walks across the sidewalk and heads for her car. GRISSOM rushes out to catch up with her.) Grissom: Sara ... look ... (SARA stops and finally turns around to look at GRISSOM. She's disillusioned.) Grissom: I know this isn't news to you but sometimes science isn't enough. Sara: What are we doing? Digging up graves, chasing prints -- if it's no good in court ... if the killers win ... Grissom: It isn't a competition. We don't win. (SARA turns her head as GRISSOM continues.) The courts are like dice. They have no memory. What works one week doesn't work the next. Sara: (nods and looks at GRISSOM.) I know that. I do. I know that. That's why I'm mad. Grissom: But, see, if you get mad, then they do win. Sara: You just said ... This is one of your riddles isn't it? Grissom: (gently) One of life's riddles ... (GRISSOM turns around to head back to the building. He turns back to SARA.) ... But, hey ... the good news? There's no statute of limitation on murder. (GRISSOM makes his way back to the building. SARA turns and walks away.)	Plan: A: The CSI team; Q: Who is called in when a famous real estate entrepreneur is found dead in a hotel elevator? A: Bob Fairmont; Q: Who was the real estate developer found dead in a hotel elevator? A: the crime scene; Q: What has been tampered with? A: a lethal poison; Q: What was the cause of death of Bob Fairmont? A: the case; Q: What is made more difficult by the fact that Fairmont's organs were removed and donated? Summary: The CSI team is called in when a famous real estate entrepreneur is found dead in a hotel elevator. When the body of Bob Fairmont, the real estate developer, is found, the team discovers that the crime scene has been tampered with and that the victim has been re-dressed. After tracing the cause of death to a lethal poison, the team is shocked to discover that Fairmont's organs have already been removed and donated, making the case a bit more difficult to solve.
Pam: I'm looking forward to 'Take Your Daughter to Work' day. I am not great with kids, but I wanna get better. Because I'm getting married. So, I put out a bunch of extra candy out on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. ...Like the witch in Hanzel and Gretel. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Bribery. Nice. Pam: Oh, I have more. [Holds up bags of candy] Michael: Pam. Ms. Beasley if yer nastay! Janet Jackson. Hey! You having a wardrobe malfunction there? Or w--- Pam: Oh, Michael. You can't be nasty today. [whispering] 'Cause of the... [points to 'Welcome Daughters!' sign] Michael: ... Oh, God is that today? Pam: I reminded you last night. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Listen, I like kids. But this is not a kid's environment. This is like HBO, no limits. Who knows what I'm going to say? Crazy stuff. And it is R rated, it is not rated G. I am like Eddie Murphy in "Raw," and they are trying to make me into Eddie Murphy in "Daddy Daycare." both great movies, but, still. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Well, I'll be in my office. Pam: Don't you think you should say something? Michael: They're cool. Pam: Michael, I think that as the boss you should really--- Michael: Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Hi, children. I'm Michael Scott, and... I... am in charge of this place... ahh, what'll make you... understand... I am... like Superman, and the people who work here are like citizens of Gotham City. Jim and Dwight: [in unison] That's Batman. Michael: Okay, I'm Aquaman. Where does he live, guys? Jim: The ocean. Michael: [under his breath] I work with a bunch of nerds. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [looks at Sasha] Mmm... hello tiny one. Toby: [to Sasha] Come on. Dwight: You are the future! [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: This... is my file cabinet. Uhm... oh. This... is the partition... between my desk... and Angela's. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: Abby's my fiancee Stacy's daughter, I think she'll have a good time. I just hope she doesn't look on my computer. ...Actually, I'd better go check. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: Michael, you remember my daughter, Melissa. Michael: Oh, yes, hello, how are you? Good to see you. Wow, you've really grown up. You know what? Don't mind me saying so, she is turning into a stone cold fox. Better keep the... frat boys away from her. Melissa: I'm in eighth grade. Michael: Oh. Stanley: She's in middle school. Michael: Yeah, middle school's amazing. It is extraordinary. An extraordinary time. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: It's not that children make me uncomfortable, it's just that, why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle? I've never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [while Jake is throwing things at Michael] They want how many spiral pads? Meredith: Um, fif--well, fifty... I... over ordered because they had a back order. Michael: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: I got permission to bring Jake into work, which is great because he got suspended this week and now I don't have to pay for a sitter. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Can you put that down there? Kelly: Yep. [spreads tablecloth] Toby: [to Sasha] Okay, tell them what you wanted to say. Sasha: Do you need any help? Angela: No. Thanks. We'd... have to explain everything, it's probably just easier if we do it ourselves. Toby: Alright, I wasn't expecting that. Let's uh... let's go draw. Kelly: Oh my God, she is so cute, I want to die. Don't you just love kids, Angela? Angela: I guess I wouldn't mind a pair of small, well-behaved boys. Kelly: God I cannot wait to get pregnant and have babies! [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun, and, I'm learning that fun for Kelly is... getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [on phone] Just compare last year's order to this year's. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. [Sasha walks in the door] ... Yes. We--yeah, they're very--they're different. [Sasha walks out] Yeah, we can stick with last year's, you're just going to have to supplement it, somehow. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Hey, Abby! Do you want to help me shred some old documents? It's actually pretty cool. Abby: No thanks. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: I only have one goal today. To make one kid like me. Just one. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: What are you reading? Abby: From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. Jim: Aww, best book? Abby: Yeah, but I've read it before. Jim: Pfft. So have I. Hey, question. If you had to spend a night in the Met or the Aquarium, which would it be? Abby: Definitely the Aquarium. Jim: Definitely. Yes. Glad you said that. ...You don't want to help me with some of my sales, do you? 'Cause, I'm kind of swamped. Abby: Sure. Jim: Really? Abby: Mmhmm! Jim: Yesss. And you're Abby, right? Abby: Yeah. Jim: I'm Jim. [Jim hi-fives Abby] Annnnd... let's sell some paper. Abby: Alright. Jim: Let's start with... your mom. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [on phone] Yes. Well... we can... [Sasha walks in, begins playing with Michael's toy train] uhm... hey, uh, you know what? Can I call you back? I'll call you right back. Yes, I promise. ...Hello, can I help you? ... You can pick that up, if you want. That's--- that's alright. [Sasha moves the train to Michael's desk] Want to bring it over... here, make some room. My name's Michael. What's your name? Sasha: Sasha. Michael: Nice to meet you. Sasha: Ooh! [picks up train whistle] Michael: Oh, you know what that is! That is a train whistle, like I'm the conductor. [blows into whistle] But I'm sort of the conductor of the office here, right? [blows into whistle] You want to try? Sasha: Sure. [Sasha blows into whistle continously] Michael: All aboard for sales! Next stop, Cu...camonga! [Sasha and Michael laugh] [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [shaking hands with Abby] Ow, ow, ow, ow, you broke my hand. Dwight: There is no way that hurt. Jim: Really? 'Cause she's pretty strong, Dwight. Dwight: Little girl. Come over here. Shake my hand. Come on, I don't have all day. [Abby shakes his hand] I don't feel anything. Nothing. [to Jim] You're so weak. [Jake walks over and messes with Dwight's bobbleheads] Uh, excuse me, these are expensive collector's items, okay? Jake: Do you have any computer games? Dwight: No, I don't have computer games on my work computer. That would be innappropriate. Jake: Yeah, Meredith doesn't have any either. It's so lame here. Dwight: You call your mom Meredith? That's very disrespectful. Jake: Whatever, okay? Dwight: You can refer to me as Mister Schrute. Jake: That's your name? Mister Poop? Dwight: Schrute. Mister Schrute. Jake: Sure, Mister Poop. [Jake walks away] Dwight: [quietly] ... Schrute. [Jim and Abby snicker, Angela glares at Dwight] [SCENE_BREAK] Sasha: [to Phyllis] Are you Mother Goose? [SCENE_BREAK] Melissa: I drink like, a hundred Ice Macchiatos a day, and practically nothing else. Ryan: Wow. Melissa: There's a really cool coffee place, Jitters, at the Steamtown Mall. Ever been there? Ryan: No. Melissa: You've never been to Jitters? Ryan, you are so dorky. Gimme your number, so I can text you. Ryan: Uhm... Melissa: Come on! [Kelly glares through the door] You have an email address? [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: ...that I thought you should know ... Stanley: Mmhmm. What? Kelly: I think something a little fishy is going on. [points to Ryan and Melissa] Stanley: A little fishy? Kelly: Yeah. I mean, I've been noticing them all day, I was thinking that maybe ... [Stanley gets up] [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: That little girl is a child! I don't want to see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand?! Ryan: Yes, I-- Stanley: Boy have you lost your mind? 'Cause I'll help you find it! Whatcha lookin' for, ain't nobody gonna help you out there! Jesus could come through that door and he's not gonna help you if you don't stop sniffing after my child! Ryan: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [plays the recorder] That was Greensleeves. A traditional English Ballad about the beheaded Anne Boleyn. And now, a very special treat... a book my Grandmutter used to read me when I was a kid. This is a very special story, it's called Struwwelpeter, by Heinrich Hoffman from 1864. [reading from book] The great tall tailor always comes to little girls that suck their thumbs--- are you listening, Sasha? Right? And 'ere they dream when he's about, he takes his great sharp scissors out, and then cuts their thumbs clean off! Michael: Dwight! Dwight! Dwight: There's a photo... Michael: What the hell are you reading to them? Dwight: These are cautionary tales for kids, my Grandmata used to read these--- Michael: Yeah, you know what? No, no no no no. They, no. The kids don't want to hear some wierdo book that your Nazi war criminal grandmother gave you. Sasha: What's a Nazi? Michael: What's a Nazi? Dwight: [standing up] Nazi was a fascist movement... Michael: Don't! Dwight: ...from the 1930's... Michael: Don't! Don't! Don't talk about Nazis in front of--- you know what? They're going to have nightmares, so why don't you just shut it? Dwight: I was gonna teach the children how to make corn-husk dolls. Michael: [sighing] Why don't you just leave? Okay? Dwight: ...Okay. Jake: Bye, Mister Poop. Michael: Alright. There goes Mister Poop. Now, who likes Dane Cook? The Kids: [raising hands] I do, I do! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Children cannot lie. They are innocent, and they speak the truth, and out of the mouths of babes, Michael Scott is freaking cool. [cracks up] [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: You know, I never misbehaved in front of my father because he was a very strict disciplinarian. I can only hope my mate has some of those same qualities [makes eye contact with Dwight]. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: This is where the magic happens! Right over here, let me show you this. See all these? [pets shelf of paper] You know what that is? That's paper. This is where paper comes from. Any questions? Melissa: So... you cut the paper and dye it and stuff. Michael: No, we don't actually cut the paper. That's a good question. The paper is sent to us cut, and dyed, from a paper manufacturer, and then we sell it to a business for more than we paid for it. Abby: That's not fair. [the rest of the kids agree] Michael: Yes it is, well, w-w--you need someone in the middle to facilitate... Jake: You're just a middleman. Michael: I'm not just a middle... man... Melissa: Wait, why doesn't the saw mill just sell paper directly to people? Michael: You are describing Office Depot, and they're kind of running us out of business. Dwight: We have better service than they do! Michael: ...There's Creed! Let's take a look at what he's doing, everybody! This is Creed, and he is in charge of... something. Right? Creed: That is correct. Michael: Say hi to the kids. Creed: Hi kids. Michael: Yaaaaay. Creed: Have you ever seen a foot with four toes? [begins untying shoe] Kids: Ewwww! Michael: What are you doing? N--stop it! Stop it! Just--no, no, no, no! No! Would you cut it out?! What is your problem? Creed: Th-the hair covers it, mostly. Michael: No no no, we're not gonna see--- we're not gonna see the four toed... Creed, okay? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: You know, there's something interesting about me you might want to know. I ... used to be ... the star of a kids show. Kids: No way. Michael: It's true. I did. Melissa: You serious? Jake: Really? Michael: I am totally serious. There was a show called 'Fundle Bundle' and I was the star. Abby: That doesn't sound like a show. Melissa: What?! Michael: It's true! I can prove it! I can prove it, watch this. [gets up and runs out] Ryan, can you come here a second? [clears throat] I would like you to go to my mother's house in Dickson city, and if she is in the pool, the back kitchen window should be unlocked, I want you to boost yourself up, I want you to go down to the basement. In the basement is a tape labeled 'Fundle Bundle'. I want you to grab it, I want you to get my guitar. Ryan: Right. Okay. Michael: I want you to get the tambourine. Do you know how to play the tambourine? Ryan: Um, I'm already getting the pizzas from Bernetti's, so... Melissa: You know, I can go with him. Michael: Oka-- Ryan: No! I will... go. Michael: Okay! Thank you Ryan. Good attitude, hottest in the office. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [to Abby] Alright, nowwww... what kind... of pizza do you like? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. You joke around with them, you give them pizza, you give them candy, you let them live their lives... They're adults, for God's sake. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I am going to give you a little blast from the past of Michael Gary Scott when he was a child star, and a show that you might remember called 'Fundle Bundle.' Okay? Without further ado, Ryan? Miss Trudy: [from TV] ...Bundle, are you ready to come on in? [TV children cheer] Let's have some fun! Michael: That... is Miss Trudy. Can't tell from the costume, but she had an amazing body. Okay, you can... fast forward. And... I want you... to... Dwight: Is that a real fun shooting windmill? Michael: Stop! Stop! Stop! [Ryan resumes the tape] Yes! That is, uh, Edward R. Meow. Jim: That's pretty funny. Michael: Yeah. Edward R. Meow: ...Recess! Hey, what's your name? Chet: My name's Chet. Edward R. Meow: Well hi Chet. Oscar: Is that Chet Montgomery? Michael: Uhh, I don't know. Pam: That is! Darryl: Checkin' in with Chet. Doppler's up. Edward R. Meow: What do you want to be when you grow up? Chet: I want to be on TV! Dwight: [employees chuckle] And he is on TV now! Michael: Can everyone please shut up, please! So you don't miss it. Edward R. Meow: Okay, next? So, whats your name? Michael: Oh! That's me. Shh. Shh. Edward R. Meow: Well what's your favorite subject at school? Young Michael: Recess. Edward R. Meow: Ree-cesss. So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up? Young Michael: I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I can have a hundred friends, and no one can say no to being my friend. Edward R. Meow: [jaw drops, awkward pause] Uh, ah... oh, okay! Well uh, nice talking with you, Michael. Uh, back to you Miss Trudy! Miss Trudy: Hi everyone, it's one of my favorite times of the day. Michael: Coulda sworn there was... Melissa: Did you get married? Michael: ...uh, no. Abby: Why not? Michael: Uh, just never happened. Sasha: So, do you have any kids? Michael: Uh, nope. Jake: Do you have a girlfriend? Michael: I do okay. Melissa: Was Chet Montgomery cool back then? Michael: Yes. Jake: Even I have a girlfriend. Michael: Okay! Alright, okay. Sasha: So you didn't get to be what you wanted to be. Michael: ...I guess not... you know, I have a load of work to do so I am going to grab a slice of this delish pizza... and I'm going to go do my work. Bye. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: He's not coming out. He won't pick up the phone. Jim: Can't believe his mom dressed him like that, that's the real tragedy. Roy: [wrestling with Jake] Pam! Pam! I love this guy! [laughs] Come on! [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: So, Melissa... I met your mom a couple times. She's so nice. Melissa: Who? Terry? Pam: Mmhmm. Melissa: That woman is not my mother. That is my step-mother. [SCENE_BREAK] Jake: Mister Poop, I have to tell you something. Dwight: Uh, okay. But first, that's not my name. Jake: You're ugly. Dwight: Well at least I'm not a horrible little latchkey kid who got suspended from school. So... Jake: Meredith! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [Toby knocks on door] Yeah? Toby: I think these belong to you. [puts toys down on desk] Michael: Oh, that's okay, she can keep those. Toby: Believe me, she has enough toys... she doesn't need your watch. Michael: Thank you. Toby: Is everything okay? Michael: You have to ask me that because you work for human resources. Toby: Uh... it's true... [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Well, sure, playing the field is great, don't get me wrong, but there's more to life than notches just on my bedpost. Toby: Mmhmm. Michael: Tell me something honestly, do you... think... that it is too late for me to have kids? Toby: Well, you need a wife first, or at least a girlfriend. Michael: What about... Toby: Not Jan. Michael: ...Jan. Kay. Toby: If you really want to have kids, I--- I guess you could somehow... foster parent, or something. Michael: ...Or biologically. Toby: Somehow. Michael: Thanks, that's, no, that... that really means a lot to me. Hey, does Sasha have a godfather, because I... Toby: Yes. Michael: Oh... kay. [SCENE_BREAK] Jake: Is it okay if I take one? Pam: Sure. Jake: Thank you. Pam: You're welcome. Jake: Is your job hard? Pam: It's not too bad. I get to shred things sometimes, do you want to see? Jake: Yeah! Pam: Really? Jake: Yeah. Pam: Okay. Um... here it is. Don't put your fingers in there. [shreds paper] Cool huh? Jake: That's so cool, yeah! Pam: Yeah, I get to do this like, every week. Jake: That's so awesome! Pam: I know. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Yes, it is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username. And... I have a great one [types]. Little kid lover. That way, people will know exactly where my priorities are at. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: Go ahead. Abby: Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? Jim: Ohh, man, I would love to! I can't tonight, but can I come over some other time? [Abby nods] Kevin: What're you doing? You never have plans. Jim: Thanks, Kev. Uhm... I'm actually going on a date. Kevin: Niiice. Michael: Hey, uh, no, please? You can't leave yet. There's still one more thing we need to do. Michael: [singing] You... who are on the road... must have a code... that you can live by... [Dwight joins in] and so... become yourself... because the past... is just a goodbye... and teach... your children well... Jim: Why does he own a guitar if he doesn't know how to play? Pam: I think he thought his ukulele skills would transfer. [Jim leaves] Michael and Dwight: [singing] ...did slowly go by... and feed... them on your dreams... Pam: My theory is that... [Jim signals he's leaving, waves bye to Pam] Michael and Dwight: [singing] ...The one they picked... the one you'll know by... don't you ever ask them why... if I told you would cry... you never look at them and sigh... and know they love you... Dwight: And they do, your parents, love you very much. Michael: One more time. [singing] You... [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: The Schrutes consider children very valuable. In the olden days, the women would bear many children, so we would have enough laborers to work the fields. And if it was an especially cold winter, and there weren't enough grains or vegetables, they would eat the weakest of the brood. [Laughs] They didn't eat the children.	Plan: A: their daughters; Q: Who do the employees bring to work for Take Your Daughter to Work Day? A: Michael; Q: Who finds enjoyment in talking with the children? A: Toby; Q: Whose daughter Sasha makes Michael realize he wants a family? A: Ryan; Q: Who does Stanley Hudson's daughter seem interested in? A: customer service representative Kelly Kapoor; Q: Who misleads Stanley about Ryan and his daughter's conversation? Summary: The employees bring in their daughters for the annual Take Your Daughter to Work Day . Michael finds enjoyment in talking with the children, especially Toby's daughter Sasha, making him realize that he wants a family. Salesman Stanley Hudson 's teenage daughter seems interested in Ryan, leading Stanley to reprimand Ryan for it after customer service representative Kelly Kapoor misleads Stanley about their conversation.
PARADISE TOWERS PART THREE Run time: 24:30 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. EXT. PARADISE TOWERS [SCENE_BREAK] (An exterior view of the Towers, high up in the sky. The glass walls and windows of the Towers reflect the fluffy white clouds hanging in the sky.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2. INT. TILDA AND TABBY'S APARTMENT [SCENE_BREAK] (Tilda, Mel and Tabby are sitting in the seating area. Tabby is toasting a crumpet on a long fork over a small fire.) TABBY: You feeling better now, dear. MEL: Erm. Yes, thank you. There's nothing like tea and crumpets is there' I feel so much more relaxed. TABBY: Oh that's good to hear, isn't it Tilda. TILDA: Yes, very good. MEL: All the same, I really must be going now. TILDA: Oh, we couldn't possibly let you do that. TABBY: Oh no, not this time. TILDA: We can't possibly miss this opportunity, can we Tabby' TABBY: No we can't Tabby, not since those horrid little Kangs got suspicious of our little ways. TILDA: I am sorry, dear. MEL: What d'you mean' TILDA: Well you see, we would like you to stay for a very long time. TABBY: In fact we don't imagine you ever leaving at all. MEL: You are joking aren't you' Tilda' TABBY' TABBY: We don't see this as a matter for humour, Mel dear. We mean every word. (Tilda stands and advances on Mel. She throws her knitting over Mel's head and restrains her. Tabby threatens Mel with her long fork.) TILDA: In our experience, Mel dear, it is much better not to struggle too much. [SCENE_BREAK] 3. INT. STREET [SCENE_BREAK] (The group of Caretakers outside the Red Kang Brainquarters have made strong progress in their attempt to burn through the door with an acetylene torch.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. INT. RED KANG BRAINQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Red Kangs and the Doctor watch the effects of the cutting from the other side of the door.) THE DOCTOR: You must have a secret escape route. I mean it's not like Kangs to allow themselves to be caught like rats in a trap. BIN LINER: Red Kangs have an unseen outway but... THE DOCTOR: But what' FIRE ESCAPE: The Caretakers will be in our Brainquarters too soon for the Kangs to use it. THE DOCTOR: I see. You need time. Well, I will buy you that time. I'm the reason why the Caretakers are here. Now go on, make your escape. Go on. Shoo! Build high for happiness. (The Doctor moves to the entrance door and the Red Kangs make their way across the room to their secret "outway".) [SCENE_BREAK] 5. INT. TILDA AND TABBY'S APARTMENT [SCENE_BREAK] (Mel is securely fastened to the armchair. Tabby is in the kitchen standing over a large cooking pot. She is putting in lots of herbs of spices. Tilda is overseeing the preparation.) MEL: Look, a joke's a joke but this gone on long enough. TILDA: Mel dear, I do think by now you should be appreciating that though Tabby and myself are not averse to a humorous remark now and then, no joke was intended. (Tilda advances threateningly towards Mel with a large kitchen knife and swings it over Mel's head. She then moves over to the hallway section of the apartment.) TILDA: (to Tabby) See if you can spot the basil. TABBY: Oh it's here somewhere. Uh, here we are. (Whilst they continue with their preparations, Mel catches sight of a Cleaner claw appearing through waste disposal unit in the kitchen behind Tabby. She screams.) TABBY: Oh what is it, dear' MEL: There's something wrong with the waste disposal unit. TABBY: No, don't talk nonsense, dear. It always makes that funny noise. MEL: I think something's coming up in it. TABBY: Don't be silly, dear. TILDA: Oh we better make sure, Tabby. TABBY: Oh very well dear. (Tabby goes over to look at the waste disposal unit whilst Tilda keeps a suspicious gaze on Mel.) TABBY: No, I can't see anything. (Mel lets out a scream as the Cleaner's claw comes from the waste disposal unit and grabs Tabby by the throat who then cries out in terror.) TILDA: Tabby! Tabby! (Tilda runs panicking into the kitchen just in time to see Tabby's legs disappear into the waste disposal unit - dragged by the force of the Cleaner. Once Tabby has gone, Tilda turns her attention around to Mel. She begins to advance towards her with the kitchen knife held poised.) TILDA: Oh, what a naughty little girl we are. Looks as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth and now she's killed poor dear, Tabby. MEL: It wasn't me, Tilda. It was the thing in the waste disposal. TILDA: Fibbing now is it' I hate little fibbers. (Mel screams in panic but Tilda's threatening advance is interrupted by Pex who kicks down the front door. He enters and moves into his familiar pose.) PEX: My name is Pex... MEL: Help, Pex, help! (He sees the threatening situation in front of him and puts his arms out to protect himself as Tilda throws the knife in his direction. It misses him and becomes imbedded into the doorframe at his side.) PEX: No! Now look. MEL: Don't just stand there help me! Help! (Mel continues to scream whilst Pex stands is a state of confusion, clueless as to what action to take. Tilda runs over to the kitchen and picks up another knife from the drainer. Before she can throw it, the Cleaner's claw comes out of the waste disposal unit and grabs her by the throat. Tilda screams as her body is dragged inside and the hatch closes. Pex, seeing that the room is now safe to enter, moves over to Mel and starts to untie her bindings.) MEL: You arrived just in time. PEX: Mel. MEL: Yeah. PEX: Mel' Does mean that I've really helped save someone from something for the first time' MEL: I think it might. [SCENE_BREAK] 6. INT. BASEMENT [SCENE_BREAK] (Two Cleaners trundle towards the "No Entry" door carrying a cart each. One of the carts contains Tilda and the other contains Tabby. All that is seen of them is their fluffy slippers. The disembodied voice can be heard proclaiming, "Hungry".) [SCENE_BREAK] 7. INT. STREET [SCENE_BREAK] (The Caretakers watch as the acetylene torch has finally cut through the entrance door to the Red Kang Brainquarters. The Deputy Chief Caretaker stands overseeing the completion.) DEPUTY: I think you'll find that the rulebook states that I remove the last section of the door. (He moves coolly around in front of the door, composes himself and proceeds to kick down the door, dislodging the final section. Once it has been removed the Doctor appears in the opening.) THE DOCTOR: Greetings, Deputy Chief Caretaker. You look surprised to see me. I can't imagine why after all it was me you came for. DEPUTY: Seize him. (The Deputy stands aside and the other Caretakers move in and pull the Doctor up onto the street. Once there, they all close in around him.) DEPUTY: You're not alone down there, are you' THE DOCTOR: As a matter of fact I am. DEPUTY: You don't fool me, Great Architect. There are Kangs down there. THE DOCTOR: Take a look for yourself if you don't believe me. (The Doctor steps aside and motions the Deputy into the Red Kang Brainquarters. He steps down into the room but loses his balance on the rickety stairs and stumbles to the floor. The other Caretakers are amused by this. The Deputy regains his composure and turns to look up at the Doctor.) THE DOCTOR: Well' DEPUTY: I don't know what you're so pleased about. There's a 327 appendix 3 Subsection 9 Death waiting for you. (The Caretakers take hold of the Doctor. The Deputy ascends the steps out of the room to rejoin them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8. INT. TILDA AND TABBY'S APARTMENT [SCENE_BREAK] (Mel is searching through some draws and comes upon a folder containing a map of Paradise Towers. She takes it over to Pex at the seating area.) PEX: What is it' MEL: It's a map of the Paradise Towers. It occurred to me that when everyone was brought here, they'd have been given a map to help them get around. PEX: Well, I wasn't. But then nobody knew that I was in the ship, did they. MEL: This building is huge, isn't it. 304 floors! (Mel stands and moves over to peer through the broken front door at the floor number written on the wall in the street.) MEL: And we must be on floor 109. (She moves back to the seating area.) PEX: Mel' MEL: Yeah' PEX: Are you want to get to the Pool in the Sky' MEL: Of course, that's where I'm meeting the Doctor. PEX: You mustn't go. MEL: That's silly and anyway here is it. (Pointing at the map) Floor 304. PEX: But Mel! MEL: What now' PEX: Only the unalive go there. MEL: Who says so' PEX: Everybody, Bin Liner and Fire Escape. MEL: Now that's odd. PEX: What' MEL: (Examining the map) Look down here where it says, "Basement", and underneath, "No plan available. Entry forbidden to all residents of Paradise Towers on pain of death". (Pex groans uneasily and Mel looks up at him.) MEL: You don't have to come. PEX: But I do. It's my job to protect you. MEL: So you're coming with me, come what may' (Pex nods his head.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9. INT. CARETAKER HEADQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Chief sits at the control desk watching a monitor screen. The screen shows the demise of another Caretaker due to the smoky emissions of a Cleaner. The entrance door opens and the Chief turns off the screen. The deputy enters with the Doctor and two other Caretakers.) CHIEF CARETAKER: Welcome back, Great Architect. I'm relieved that it's you and not my Deputy who will be enjoying a 327 Appendix 3 Subsection 9 Death. For a start his demise would have involved an enormous amount of extra paper work. DEPUTY: Chief' CHIEF CARETAKER: Yes. DEPUTY: Chief, as I was coming in I heard reports that Caretaker Number 97 Stroke 2 Subsection 9 had disappeared without any known explanation. And that Caretaker 348... CHIEF CARETAKER: I'm well aware of that. DEPUTY: But Chief if this goes on and the Cleaners are out of control; how many of us are going to be left' (The Chief moves intimidatingly over to the Deputy to stand face to face with him.) CHIEF CARETAKER: Deputy Chief Caretaker, by talking out of turn in such a way, you have broken so many rules and regulations that it would take me several hours just to innumerate them. Wait outside would you. DEPUTY: Yes, Chief. (The Deputy moves out of the room and the Chief returns his attention to the Doctor.) CHIEF CARETAKER: I think it would be a very good idea if, before your death, you and I had a nice little Regulation 13 Appendix 2 final conversation. [SCENE_BREAK] 10. INT. SQUARE [SCENE_BREAK] (Pex and Mel arrive in the square and are greeted with the TARDIS covered in graffiti.) PEX: Kang wallscrawl. MEL: I know. PEX: Quiet! MEL: What is it now' PEX: I thought I saw a Blue Kang. (Pex hold his gun out in front of him ready to fire and makes his way around to the other side of the square. Mel does the same over the opposite side of the square and they come face to face causing him to jump.) MEL: Relax! Come on. (Mel and Pex then move off down one of the street going off from the square. They aren't aware of a Cleaner who glides on to the square via another street - it follows in pursuit of them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11. INT. CARETAKER HEADQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Chief Caretaker and the Doctor sit facing one another at the control desk. The Chief has a bright light trained on the Doctor.) CHIEF CARETAKER: Are you the Great Architect' THE DOCTOR: You mean you're not certain anymore' CHIEF CARETAKER: Oh I shall have you killed anyway but it would be interesting to know. THE DOCTOR: What makes you think I'm the Great Architect' Haven't you ever met him' CHIEF CARETAKER: (shakes his head) Just when Paradise Towers was being completed, before any of us got here, he disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Never been seen since anywhere. THE DOCTOR: How odd. CHIEF CARETAKER: Odd indeed for a being who head was apparently full of extravagant future plans. But I always knew in my bones he'd turn up again one day. Start altering things just when I'd got them the way I wanted. THE DOCTOR: And that would justify killing me, I mean him. CHIEF CARETAKER: Oh yeah. (The Doctor stands are starts to advance towards the Chief.) THE DOCTOR: Like everyone else you seem terrified to face up to the reality of what's happening in Paradise Towers. I mean killing me won't help you find out who's sending out those robotic Cleaners to kill people. And that's a problem that isn't going to go away. Unless, of course, you're giving the orders yourself. (The Doctor walks around the Chief who then stands, with his back to the Doctor. He turns around at the Doctor's suggestion.) CHIEF CARETAKER: What a ridiculous idea! THE DOCTOR: Perhaps but I do have a better one. CHIEF CARETAKER: And what is that' (The Doctor motions that the Chief to take the seat that he previously vacated.) THE DOCTOR: No doubt you've been allowing the Cleaners to kill off some of your people as well as the Kangs, for reasons which are at the moment beyond me but then I'm not a power crazed psychopath. CHIEF CARETAKER: (He stands) What did you say' THE DOCTOR: Listen you're going to kill me anyway so you may as well make use of my brain. (The Doctor pushes the Chief back down into his seat and makes himself comfortable on the Chief original seat.) THE DOCTOR: What I also think is happening is that, besides your activities, is that the Caretakers, the Kangs, Red, Yellow, Blue and everyone else are being killed off without instructions from you. And that's why you're worried. You don't know how doing it. CHIEF CARETAKER: Oh don't I! (The entrance door opens and the Deputy and other Caretakers rush inside.) DEPUTY: Report from floor 109Chief! Two of the oldsters have apparently disappeared and it's believed they've gone down the XY3 standard issue waste disposal unit. CHIEF CARETAKER: What!'! DEPUTY: It's unheard of Chief! I should remind you that under emergency regulation number 348 stroke 5 Subsection 6. CHIEF CARETAKER: Alright, alright, alright! I better go and investigate this myself. Deputy, I leave you in charge. I don't need to remind you of the consequences of second mistake. DEPUTY: No Chief. CHIEF CARETAKER: No... Perhaps we should allow the Great Architect to see a copy of the Illustrated Prospectus of Paradise Towers. Might bring back happy memories for him. Not that I shall be away long. It's against my principles to keep anyone waiting. (The Chief leaves the room and the Deputy makes himself comfortable at the control desk, putting his feet up on the desk. He looks who the Doctor who is still seated. DEPUTY: And no funny business with the rulebook this time, alright' THE DOCTOR: I'm afraid I've got far too much to worry about, Deputy Chief Caretaker. [SCENE_BREAK] 12. INT. STREET [SCENE_BREAK] (Mel and Pex race down the street towards the lift at the end of it.) MEL: It's all safe. Quick! (Mel checks the lift and they enter it.) MEL: Now all I have to do is press the button the 304th floor and... PEX: Um, Mel' MEL: Yes' What is it' PEX: Look! (At the other end of the street they see a cleaner racing towards to lift, it's lethal blades activated ready for use.) MEL: What is it' PEX: I'll explain later. Could you just press the button' MEL: Of course. Come on! (Mel repeatedly presses the button until, at the last moment, the door closes between them and the deadly robotic Cleaner. Mel looks at the floor indicator panel.) PEX: We call those the Cleaners and sometimes they... MEL: Pex' PEX: What' MEL: Am I imagining things' PEX: Why' MEL: Are we going up or are we going down' PEX: We're going down. MEL: But I pressed the button... PEX: The Kangs play a game you see. They get into the lift and press the buttons for all kinds of floors up and down the building. MEL: So we could be stuck in here going up and down for hours. PEX: Yes. (The Cleaner machine remains on the floor they left with its blades and drills at full activation.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13. INT. CARETAKER HEADQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor is sitting alone, slumped on the control desk watching the Illustrated Prospectus. The monitor screen displays many images of how the Towers looked back at its completion.) NARRATOR: "Welcome one and all to Paradise Towers, which will be your new home for a good few years to come. Some of you will understandably feel nervous at leaving everything you know for a strange new environment. But we believe once you've tasted the Paradise Towers experience you won't want to change it for any other. Our motto is "Build High for Happiness". The facilities of this mighty structure are unrivalled as you can see from these pictures." (The Doctor is distracted by a commotion over the other side of the room.) THE DOCTOR: Will you please stop! (The Doctor looks aside to where the noise has been coming from and surprisingly sees Bin Liner and Fire Escape standing there to greet him. The Caretakers are on the floor tied up. The Doctor greets them with the standard Kang greeting.) BIN LINER: How you do, Doctor. THE DOCTOR: How you do. Bin Liner, Fire Escape, how did you get here' FIRE ESCAPE: We track you down the Carrydoors, creep in when the Chief Caretaker left and bundle up these others. BIN LINER: Sorry to disturb you. THE DOCTOR: Not at all, I'm delighted to see you. Ah, whoops. (The Doctor goes to leave with them but remembers to collect the DVD containing the Illustrated Prospectus of Paradise Towers. He moves over to join the Red Kangs at the door but not before gloating to the Deputy tied up on the floor.) THE DOCTOR: I'm sure there are some rules to govern this, Deputy Chief. (The Deputy can do little more than groan through his mouth gag.) THE DOCTOR: That's the most intelligent thing he's said so far. (The two Red Kangs and the Doctor exit the headquarters leaving the humiliated Caretakers bound and gagged.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14. INT. TILDA AND TABBY'S APARTMENT [SCENE_BREAK] (The Chief Caretaker and Maddy are together in the kitchen area. He is making note of the situation on his clipboard.) MADDY: Well, I can't think of any other explanation can you' CHIEF CARETAKER: Since you ask, thousands. MADDY: Well, it's never happened before. We Rezzies are all very frightened. CHIEF CARETAKER: Well you have my assurance; there is no cause for panic. MADDY: No cause for panic' CHIEF CARETAKER: No. MADDY: No cause for panic' CHIEF CARETAKER: No. MADDY: Two of my next door neighbours have just disappeared down the waste disposal chute. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. CHIEF CARETAKER: I will conduct a full investigation on the matter. In due course a report will be issued to all residents. And you may rest assured there'll be no cover up. No cover up whatsoever. On the other hand I would urge you for the moment to keep the matter quiet. We don't want to alarm people unduly, do we' MADDY: We'll I'm not really sure I ought to. CHIEF CARETAKER: Not that I would wish to bribe you to hold your tongue in anyway but rules can be made flexible. And it could be arranged for you to move into this flat instead of your own. It is substantially larger. And after all what's the good of panicking people when I repeat everything is under control. MADDY: Well I'd hate to upset anybody. CHIEF CARETAKER: Exactly. And now if you'll excuse me I think I will depart and begin my investigation. In the basement, perhaps. (He walks out of the apartment leaving Maddy alone and rather concerned.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15. INT. THE LIFT [SCENE_BREAK] (Pex and Mel stand in the lift as the floor indicator shows that they are travelling upwards.) MEL: Well is suppose it is one way of seeing the Paradise Towers, just so long as nothing goes wrong with the lift. (The lights go out for a moment before returning.) PEX: What did you' MEL: Oh I doesn't matter really. It's just if the lift gets completely stuck between floors... (The lift gets stuck between floors.) MEL: And the lights go out. (The lights go out.) PEX: Oh, I hate the dark. (Pex and Mel cling to one another for comfort in the darkness.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16. INT. RED KANG BRAINQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor enters the Brainquarters through the "unseen outway". The other Kangs are gathered around. Bin Liner follows him inside but Fire Escape is already present.) THE DOCTOR: Well Kangs, I must say there's no place like home. And this is no place like home. BIN LINER: Be seated, Doctor. FIRE ESCAPE: And drink. (She hands him another can of fizzy drink.) THE DOCTOR: Thank you, Fire Escape. But before we do anything else, we must view the Illustrated Prospectus. Now which pocket did I put it in' (He starts to rummage through his many pockets.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17. INT. THE LIFT [SCENE_BREAK] (Mel and Pex are attempting to examine the lift controls in darkness.) MEL: Hand on, I think I've found something. The controls are really stiff though. PEX: Here, let me. (He picks up Mel and lifts her aside. With one kick, he dislodges the control and the lift comes to life again. The floor indicator shows that they are descending.) MEL: Well done, Pex! Except we seem to be going down. Very fast! (The floor indicator goes crazy and the lift starts to shake as it plummets to the depths of Paradise Towers.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18. INT. RED KANG BRAINQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Red Kangs and the Doctor are sitting in a group around a monitor screen mounted on a small table. Bin Liner is setting up the equipment.) BIN LINER: All shape ship and ready, Doctor. THE DOCTOR: Ah, the beginning's not important, Bin Liner. Wind it on. (She moves the prospectus on a few minutes until he indicates her to stop. Then she sits down and joins the other viewers as they watch the Prospectus.) NARRATOR: "Paradise Towers has been specially designed for you by Kroagnon, universally known as the Great Architect. The genius responsible for Golden Dream Park, The Bridge of Perpetual Motion, Miracle City..." THE DOCTOR: Miracle City! (The Doctor jolts to attention and points at the screen.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19. INT. THE LIFT/THE BASEMENT [SCENE_BREAK] (The Lift finally comes to a halt at the very depths of Paradise Towers - The Basement. Mel and Pex jump at it stops. They gather themselves as the door opens looking out into the Basement.) MEL: Where are we now' PEX: Oh no. MEL: What is it' PEX: I think we're in the basement. MEL: As in, "Forbidden to all residents of Paradise Towers on pain of death". (Across from the lift, a Cleaner carries the body of yet another Caretaker through the door marked "No Entry". From inside a deep rumbling voice can be heard to utter "Soon! Soon! Soon I shall be free!") MEL: You hear that! We have to get out of here. (Mel and Pex become alert with fear. She frantically starts to activate the lift controls whilst Pex looks on flustered.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20. INT. RED KANG BRAINQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor removes the DVD from the player whilst all the Red Kangs watch him intently.) THE DOCTOR: Kroagnon was a brilliant architect. And Miracle City. His masterpiece. Only... BIN LINER: Only' THE DOCTOR: Only he refused to move out and let anybody move in. He thought that people would destroy the beauty of his work. But they got him. Only those who moved in lived to regret it. FIRE ESCAPE: He made them unalive. THE DOCTOR: Nothing could be proven so he got away with it. And as I said he was a brilliant architect. And space is a big place so he got other work. Of course, including Paradise Towers. BIN LINER: Blank walls and cleaners. THE DOCTOR: Quite. And then he disappeared. Mayhaps, my dear Red Kangs, mayhaps your parents thought they were being very clever by trapping him in his own building so that he wouldn't finish it. But if they did such a thing it was very foolish. Because no matter how deep they buried him in Paradise Towers, he's bound to get out in the end. [SCENE_BREAK] 21. INT. STREET [SCENE_BREAK] (The Chief Caretaker strides purposefully down one street when he notices a Cleaner, still and silent at the other end.) CHIEF: Oi! What are you doing there Robotic Cleaner 479' I didn't order you to stand there. Get back to the 67Y Ghetto at once. (The Cleaner suddenly comes to life and its blades start to activate. He advances on the Chief, motioning for him to go where it says.) CHIEF: Do you hear my orders' What do you think you're doing Robotic Cleaner 479' Look there's no need for this. Really there isn't. No need at all. I was on my way to the basement anyway. [SCENE_BREAK] 22. INT. THE LIFT [SCENE_BREAK] (Pex and Mel are still on the basement level trying to get the lift to ascend. Mel frantically hits the controls as Pex watches.) MEL: Oh we've got to get out of here. This is really jammed this time. PEX: Shall I hit it' MEL: Alright give it a try. What have we got to lose' Come on, Pex. (Pex kicks the lever control several times until it finally succumbs to his force. The door closes and the lift starts to ascend.) MEL: Well done, Pex. Going up. (The couple cling to one another with joy as they watch the floor indicator signal their ascent.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23. INT. RED KANG BRAINQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Kangs are still sitting on the floor gathered around the Doctor.) BIN LINER: So what must Red Kangs do, Doctor' FIRE ESCAPE: We'll fight for you! (Fire Escape jumps up excitedly, rousing the other Red Kangs.) RED KANGS: Yes!!!! THE DOCTOR: More than that. You must tell me all you know. I mean that door with smoke coming out of it. Where is it' (Bin Liner and Fire Escape give one another a nervous look.) THE DOCTOR: Please, it's important. BIN LINER: In the basement. The Cleaners have a secret alleviator. Red Kangs have used it and seen... THE DOCTOR: And seen what' BIN LINER: Things they couldn't speak of. (The Doctor stands up ready for action.) THE DOCTOR: I'm going down to the basement to find out what's going on. BIN LINER: I'll go and look with you, Doctor. FIRE ESCAPE: And me! RED KANGS: And me! And me! And me! (The Doctor stands at the door as the Red Kangs jumped excitedly around.) THE DOCTOR: Fire Escape, Bin Liner and Air Duct you come with me. The rest stay here. (As he is about to leave, the temporary cover over the door that the Red Kangs have using since the Caretaker cut through the original one is moved aside. Standing in the doorway are the Blue Kangs. They are headed by Drinking Fountain, their leader.) DRINKING FOUNTAIN: No. Red Kangs leave no outlooks. Blue Kangs have got into their Brain Quarters and won the game. Blue Kangs are best! (The Kangs, Red and Blue then enter into a verbal battle of who is the best, each just as aggressive as the other.) THE DOCTOR: Please! Please! Please! This is no time for games. The future of Paradise Towers is at stake. We must all work together. You have got to help us. D'you understand' DRINKING FOUNTAIN: But Blue Kangs have won! [SCENE_BREAK] 24. INT. CARETAKER HEADQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Deputy stands at the control desk watched by his subordinates. He is using the communicator in an attempt to contact the Chief Caretaker.) DEPUTY: Chief! Chief' Chief. It's no good. I can't trace him anywhere. [SCENE_BREAK] 25. INT. RED KANG BRAINQUARTERS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor is trying to reason with all the Kangs. He surrounded by both Blue and Red Kangs.) THE DOCTOR: Look, you've got to believe me. I'm sure the Red Kangs will agree that you've won this round of the game. And there won't be many rounds worth playing if we don't discover who's ordering the killing. Will you let us go to the basement' DRINKING FOUNTAIN: More. I will come with you. THE DOCTOR: Good. Then you'll see with your own eyes what's going on. (The Doctor and the Blue Kangs exit into the street.) DRINKING FOUNTAIN: Blue Kang eyespy saw Chief Caretaker footing it there too. THE DOCTOR: We must hurry. What's the quickest way to get there' BIN LINER: (from inside the Brainquarters) We must use the Cleaner's secret alleviator. THE DOCTOR: Ah right. To the basement! Build high for happiness. (They all re-enter the Brainquarters and leave via the "unseen outway".) ALL KANGS: Build high for happiness. [SCENE_BREAK] 26. INT. THE LIFT/EXT. FLOOR 304 [SCENE_BREAK] (Mel and Pex watch the floor indicator as it shows they are ever closer to the top floor and the pool.) MEL: 300. 301. 302. 303. 30... We made it! (The lift door open and the natural light shines inside. The sound of musak can be heard playing.) MEL: I just don' believe it. I really don't. (They run from the lift, across the forecourt and over to the pool area. All the time Pex looks around nervously. They stand at the top end of the pool.) MEL: And look here it is. Oh, it's just how I imagined it. Why don't the residents of the Towers ever use it, Pex' PEX: It's the home of the unalive. We shouldn't be here. MEL: I think that's all nonsense. Don't you think it's wonderful to be somewhere calm and clean and relaxing' PEX: It makes me nervous. (Mel bends down and dips her hand into the water as Pex looks around nervously.) MEL: Oh everything makes you nervous. (Mel stands again and looks excitedly at the water.) MEL: I'm glad this is where I agreed to meet the Doctor. Aren't you going to have a swim, Pex' I just don't understand you. I think all that talk of it being dangerous is just a trick by the Caretakers so they don't have to come and clean up the pool all the time. Well come on, lets investigate. Just a few minutes to take the weight off my feet and then it's straight in to that lovely cool water. (Mel moves over to one of the seating loungers around the pool and sits down. Pex does so also. She looks at him condescendingly then closes her eyes. Both of them fail to notice a yellow, robotic, crap-like Cleaner in the pool. It rises to observe them before falling again.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27. INT. THE BASEMENT [SCENE_BREAK] (The Cleaner pushes the Chief Caretaker towards his "pet" represented by the neon lights through the "No Entry" door.) CHIEF CARETAKER: Look, I don't understand what the matter is, my beauty. I've always made sure you had lot of tender little morsels to keep you big and strong. So why are giving the cleaners orders that aren't my orders and cleaning people I didn't tell you to kill. VOICE: Because the bodies the Cleaners brought were not right. CHIEF CARETAKER: Not right' What for' VOICE: For me to live in. CHIEF CARETAKER: To live in' I don't understand my pet. VOICE: Neither could they. That was the problem. (The door at the other end of the basement corridor opens and the Doctor and the Kangs cautiously enter. They keep out of sight, pressed against the wall. They watch with interest.) CHIEF CARETAKER: You see all these bodies disappearing. People are starting to notice you know. VOICE: No matter. CHIEF CARETAKER: What did you say' VOICE: I am ready now. I have my plan. CHIEF CARETAKER: Look it's nice to have you chattier than usual, my pet. But I do think you might be a bit more grateful for all I've done for you. VOICE: You have done all I need you to do. I need only one more thing from you. CHIEF CARETAKER: Oh do you' And suppose I won't give it to you' VOICE: You have no choice. I am Kroagnon, the Great Architect and I will put an end to you and everyone in Paradise Towers. (The Chief is pushes forward by the Cleaner and into a machine. An opaque funnel begins to descend on him and obscures him from view. As it does so he lets out a terrified scream. The Doctor and the Kangs come out from their hiding place and watch this happen.) BIN LINER: Ware Cleaners! THE DOCTOR: Back to the lift. (Fire Escape is hesitant thinking she can use her weapon on a Kang but the Doctor gestures for them to run.) FIRE ESCAPE: Wait, Doctor. THE DOCTOR: Back! (Fire Escape fires her weapon, hitting a Cleaner but it has no effect on it. Taken off guard, another Cleaner appears and uses its claw to grab the Doctor by the throat and proceeds to strangle him.) DRINKING FOUNTAIN: Doctor!!!	Plan: A: Mel; Q: Who has to escape the clutches of the strange ladies? A: more information; Q: What does the Doctor learn about the Great Architect? Summary: Mel, after having met some very strange ladys, has to work to escape their clutches. Meanwhile the Doctor leans more information about the Great Architect.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Scott: Liam, I've got a Beta. Like, right now I could use a training manual. Violet: I don't know why we're going after a Beta when there's an Alpha on the field. Garrett: Because an entire pack of Alphas went after McCall and he was the one left standing. Derek: Kate was here for this. Peter: That little pendant is training wheels. Derek: What are you gonna do when you find her? Chris: Do what's necessary. Man on Cassette : Eventually settling in a small town in Northern California, this family used their wealth to rebuild the community around them while remaining isolated from it. This was sometimes more a choice than a necessity as not all of their children would become werewolves. The ones that did, these born wolves, had to be trained. They needed to learn control. They had a practice from the training of Betas. The tradition passed out through generations, and involved the use of a sacred object called a Triskelion. Without control... Violence... Extreme violence... Is inevitable. Kate: Big fancy guns... Coded death lists... So-called assassins. And not one of you can answer the simplest question. Who's paying the bills? So I'll ask again. Who is The Benefactor? Assassin: I swear to God I've never seen him, never spoken to him... Kate: I know. See, everybody says the same thing. They don't know who he is. Where he is. "It's all done electronically. I can't help you." "Please, I'm bleeding to death. Please stop, it hurts." Assassin: Then what do you want with me? Kate: It's been a long time since someone's made me a mix tape. You got one too, didn't you? Assassin: No, no... But I... But I know who did. They look like kids. Like teenagers. They're called The Orphans... Wait! Wait! I'll tell you about them. I'll tell you everything. Just wait... Coach: Guys, back off. You can get your gear tomorrow. If anybody sees Garrett, you notify the police immediately. Then tell him he's off the damn team. Scott: Dad, really. I'm okay. Agent McCall: I should've been here. And I said I would be at the games. Scott: Well, I mean this was just a pre-season scrimmage. I didn't even tell you about it. Agent McCall: But I promised your mom I'd be around so she could pick up some double shifts at the hospital. I should've been here. Scott: You're here now. Violet: Jordan Parrish? Deputy Parrish: Deputy Parrish. Agent Mccall: Sheriff, what is that? Is that the weapon? Sheriff: Yeah. It's a thermo-cut wire. Agent Mccall: Parrish, hold up. Scott: Where's Kira? Liam: She took off. Stiles told her about Lydia cracking the second part of the Dead Pool. Scott: Her mom's on it. Liam: Everyone's on it. Scott: You're not. Liam: Not yet. There's still another third, right? Agent Mccall: Thermo-cut wire's... a very unusual weapon, Violet. Now, we've got a file at the bureau on something similar. Used in over a dozen murders. Violet: I don't know what you're talking about. I just go to school here. Agent Mccall: Maybe we should call your parents then. Oh, no... That's right. You don't have any parents. That's why they call you The Orphans. We need to find her boyfriend, Garrett. Sheriff: Coach, I'm gonna need both their locker numbers. And someone find me a set of bolt cutters. Stiles: What the hell is happening to this kid? Derek: He's been poisoned by a rare wolfsbane. I need to make an incision and you need to hold him as still as possible. Stiles: Hey, Derek, how about a little werewolf strength? Derek: Yeah, I'm not the only one here with werewolf strength. Deaton: If you can't hold him still, the incision might kill him. Stiles: Derek, he's slipping. I don't think I can hold him. Ah! Peter: I guess I still have a little werewolf strength myself. Derek: Yeah, maybe more than a little. Stiles: Hey, Doc, I don't think he's breathing. Is he okay? Deaton: I think he'll be fine, but probably out for a while. Stiles: Guys, can you hear that? I think he's saying something. Brett: The sun... The moon... The truth... The sun... The moon... The truth... Deaton: Three things cannot long be hidden. The sun, the moon, and the truth. It's Buddhist. Peter: Satomi. Liam: I think someone's coming. Hurry. You find anything? Scott: No. Nothing. Melissa: I know that I'm a month late. Three months? Oh. Are you sure it's three months? Okay, I understand. Um, but if you could just turn the power back on even for a few hours, that would be really great. I have a refrigerator full of food that's going to go bad. And, obviously, I don't have the money to run out and replace $300 worth of groceries. So... I am more than happy to beg. Mason: It's not just that we were friends with them. They were using us for their cover. I mean, professional killers were using us. How are you not freaking out about that? Liam: Trust me, I'm freaking out about a lot. Mason: Liam, slow down. Liam! Hey, Liam. Garret: Hey, Liam. Sorry about missing movie night. Don't worry. I got something else planned. Ms Flemming: Has anyone seen Stiles, Lydia or Kira today? Malia. Any idea where your friends are? Malia: I could try catching their scent. Ms Flemming: Right. How about I just mark them down as absent. Derek: Malia. Ms Flemming: Okay, everyone, let's begin with last night's homework. Derek: Malia. Ms Flemming: Malia. Do you need to be excused from class? Malia: Yeah. What are you doing here? Derek: Brett's still out of it. I need to find his pack and warn them about the Dead Pool. Malia: So what do you need me for? Derek: I know a little something about this pack. They have a kind of secret meeting place in the woods. No one's spent more time in the woods of Beacon Hills than you. This is Brett's. Breathe it in. Malia: I'm not good at that yet. Derek: Try it. I'll teach you. Focus on the different scents. Some are tied to identity. Others give off an emotion. Deputy Parrish: Your dad should be back within the hour. You want to wait in his office? Stiles: Actually, we want to talk to you. Lydia: Privately. Deputy Parrish: This is a hit list? Stiles: We call it a Dead Pool. Recognize any of the names? Deputy Parrish: Yeah. The Sheriff had me run a bunch of these through the system last night. But we couldn't find any of them. Stiles: Show him the other thing. Deputy Parrish: Okay. That's kind of terrifying. What's the number? Lydia: That's how much you're worth. Deputy Parrish: I'm worth five dollars? Stiles: Five million. Deputy Parrish: I only make 40,000 a year. Maybe I should kill myself. I don't get it. Why... Why am I on this? Stiles: Honestly, that might be a question for another day. Right now, there's still another third of the list we gotta crack. Lydia: We need the third cipher key. But we need help getting it. Deputy Parrish: From who? Lydia: Meredith. Deputy Pariish: The girl from Eichen? The last time you saw her, you almost gave her a nervous breakdown. Lydia: Uh... Almost. Coach: Sorry, guys, Liam skipped my class. Maybe he's sick. Like me. Mason: Liam didn't look sick on our run. Scott: He's not getting back to any of my texts. Mason: Mine either. Scott: Yeah, don't worry. I'll find him. But text me if you see him. Mason: All right. Scott: Liam? Garrett: Sounds like you already know the answer to that, Scott. Scott: Where is he? Garrett: Come on. Like I'm actually going to tell you that? Scott: I'll give you the money. Garrett: Yeah, you will. But that's not going to get you Liam back. You're going to have to put in a little more effort than that. Scott: What do you want? Garrett: I want the money. And Violet. Or you never see Liam again. Scott: Okay, what do you want? You want me to go to Stilinski? I can do that. Or I can talk to my father. He's an FBI agent. Garrett: You think I want you talking to anyone with a badge? I'm not getting help from a werewolf because I want him to talk to someone. Scott: Then what am I supposed to do? Garrett: They are transferring Violet to a federal facility. You are not gonna let that happen. Scott: How? Garrett: They're going to put her in a car. We're going to follow it. We get ahead of it. You stop it. Scott: You want me to attack a car? That's your plan? Garrett: You're an Alpha. If you can't stop one little car, then one little Beta is going to die. stabbed your boy with a blade dipped in wolfsbane. Once it gets to the heart... Bad things happen. Liam: Help. Scott. Is anybody there? Somebody help me, please. Answer me! Help me! Help... Scott! Scott, help me, please. Help! Derek: Their Alpha is a woman named Satomi. She's one of the oldest werewolves alive. And she's learned a lot. Malia: What does that mean? Derek: She's a bitten werewolf. Learning control wasn't easy for her. She did something a long time ago that changed her. What is it? Malia: Gun powder. Derek: If Brett's pack is out here, I don't think they're meeting. They're hiding. Agent Mccall: We're taking her now. Scott: Dad, isn't that a little dangerous? I mean, Garrett's still out there. Maybe we should let someone else do it. Agent Mccall: I appreciate the concern, but after what happened with Katashi and losing evidence off an armored truck, I'm not letting this out of my sight. And if you're still worried, you should know I've got Beacon Hills' finest coming with us. Scott: This is not going to work. Garrett: All you have to do is stop the car. I'll take care of the rest. Stiles: Oh, no, not this guy. [SCENE_BREAK] Brunski: What the hell are we running here? A bed and breakfast? We do not just open the door for anyone with a badge. Deputy Parrish: We need to talk to Meredith Walker. It involves a murder investigation. Brunski: Well, you can talk to her all you want, but these two, especially that one... They're outta here. Deputy Parrish: They're crucial witnesses in an ongoing investigation. I wouldn't have brought them here if it wasn't absolutely... Crucial. Brunski: Okay, Deputy. How about you come back with a court order, then I'll listen. As for you, Mr. Stilinski, how about you come back with payment in full. That's right. Daddy may be the Sheriff, but he's late on the bills. I guess those government jobs aren't as reliable as they used to be, huh? Deputy Parrish: But they do help when you need a favor. Like, how a month ago, Canaan P.D. helped you get home after blowing 0.1 on a breathalyzer. Stiles: No... Brunski: All right. I'm not against a little quid pro quo. Not at all. Not at all. Stiles: You. You, I like you. I'm gonna keep you. Garrett: There's a stop sign half a mile ahead. Scott: So I take out the tires with my claws? Garrett: Teeth, claws, heat vision, whatever. Just stop them. You ready? Scott: Stop! Stop the car! Dad! Sheriff: Scott... Scott: She's not in the car. Violet's gone. Sheriff: Scott, listen to me. They're still here. They're still here. Garrett: You want me? Come on. Come and get me. Come and get me. Yeah, that's right! You're not so big. You're not so big... Sheriff: Scott! Lydia: Meredith, what you mean you can't tell us? Stiles: We just need the third key. You can give it to us in numbers, letters, hieroglyphs. Whatever you want. Meredith: I can't. Lydia: Then why did you give us the second key? Meredith: I wanted to help. That's what I want to do. I want to help. Lydia: Great. So help us now. Okay? Give us the third cipher key. Meredith/b]: Things have changed. I... I can't. [b]Stiles: Why not? Deputy Parrish: Guys, go easy on her. Meredith: I'm sorry. I can't. He... He doesn't want me to. Stiles: He? Who's he? Lydia: Meredith, who doesn't want you to tell us the third cipher key? Meredith: The Benefactor. Deaton: Hey, there. I was actually hoping you would be out for a few more minutes. Chris: Scott. This is going to hurt.You all right? Scott: Where's my dad and the Sheriff? Deaton: They're at the hospital. They're both doing fine. Hold this. Scott: Mmm-hmm. It was Kate. It was her and the Berserkers. Chris: We know. But they move fast. And they don't leave much in the way of tracks. Scott: We have to find her. She's got Violet. I think Violet knows where Liam is. Deaton: Then as much as this hurt, it could probably also help. Derek: Can you get a scent? Malia: I'm sorry. Derek: There's nothing to be sorry about. If they don't want to be found, then we're not going to find them. Some werewolves have an ability. A kind of mastery over their bodies where they can actually inhibit their scent. Malia: They can hide from other werewolves? Derek: From anyone who's trying to find them. Malia: So that's why nobody knew about Brett. Derek: Same with Demarco. Malia: Maybe we need to try something different. Maybe we need to think like Stiles. Derek: Like a hyperactive spaz? Malia: Like a detective. If they're really Buddhists, then maybe instead of asking where werewolves hide, we should be asking... Derek: Where would Buddhists hide. When Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree, he looked to the east for enlightenment. Malia: Is there some kind of eastern point in Beacon Hills? Derek: Yeah. At Lookout Point. Liam: No, no, no, no, no! Come on! Scott: You did that. You went right through it. Liam: I jumped through the window? Scott: The cuts healed while you were changing. Liam: I guess that's one good thing. Scott: For you. For someone else it could be really bad. We need to figure out how you can get a grip on this. Liam: I've been trying to do that for years. Scott: What does your dad say? Liam: He says when kids get angry they deal with it in one of two ways. They either hurt themselves or they hurt someone else. Lydia: What's his name? You could just tell us his name. Stiles: Okay, you're shaking your head. What's that mean? Does that mean you don't know? Or you don't want to help us? Meredith: I can't... I can't help anymore. Lydia: How do you know about him? Deputy Parrish: Guys, I think we better stop. Lydia: Meredith, a lot of people are going to die if you don't tell us. Meredith: I don't... I don't know. I don't know. Lydia: Please... Meredith, it's okay. You're gonna be all right. Please. Meredith: I don't... I don't... I don't know. Deputy Parrish: Meredith. Meredith: I said, I don't know! Scott: You've been here before? Chris: I worked here. We used to own the building. It was part of our business. Scott: I've fought these things before. They're strong. Really strong. Chris: That's why I brought this. Scott: I'm good with that. Derek: Malia? Malia: You don't smell that? Derek: Wait for me. Right here. Kate: You shouldn't have come. Scott: Kate. I'm here for Violet. I need to talk to her. Kate: I knew you'd find me. But... I was hoping we could do this later. I just needed a little more time. Chris: For what? Kate: To learn control. Lower the gun. We walk away. And you don't have to get hurt. Scott: Where's Violet? Kate: Put the gun down, Chris. Scott: Where is she? No, no! No, no, stop! No! Malia: What happened? Derek: I think they might have been poisoned. Malia: That's great. If assassins with guns don't get you, then the ones with wolfsbane poison will. Or maybe one with no mouth. Maybe we should all be running from Beacon Hills. Running for our lives. As fast as we can. Scott: Ah! Kate: No! Chris: Scott... Scott. I'm sorry. Scott: I'm not going to find him. Chris: There's still time, Scott. There's still time. Stiles: Okay, well, we know one thing. Both of the first two keys, Allison and Aiden, they're both names of the dead. Right? Lydia: But we've already tried every other dead person's name we could think of. And if you haven't noticed, there were a lot of tries. Stiles: Yeah, I noticed. You okay? Lydia: The only other Banshee I've ever met. And I think I might have just drove her over the edge. Stiles: Lydia, it wasn't your fault. I was there, too. And you're probably not the only... Hold on. Banshees predict death. Right? So what if the third key is someone who isn't dead... Lydia: But will be. Call Parrish. We need to call Parrish. Scott: You're okay, Liam. You're okay. Lydia: What are you talking about? Deputy Parrish: Lydia, Meredith's gone. They found her an hour ago in her room. She hung herself. I'm sorry. Scott: I don't want to keep watching people die. Chris: I'm not sure you have much choice about that. Scott: Maybe I do. Deaton: That's a lot of burden to carry, Scott. Scott: I don't care. No one else dies. Everyone on that list. Everyone on that Dead Pool. It doesn't matter if they're wendigos, or werewolves, or whatever. I'm gonna save everyone. Stiles: You counted it yet? Scott: No. Stiles: We should probably count it. Peter: I suppose you're hiding down here because it'll cover your scent. But I can smell a rat. Even in a sewer. It's getting worse, isn't it? The surges of anger. The loss of control. You know, I used to get angry. As a kid, I would even break my own toys in little fits of rage. And then I asked myself, "Why break your own toys when you can break someone else's?" Kate: Stop pitching and just tell me what you want. Peter: Obviously, we're in a position of mutually assured destruction. Kate: Oh, I'm not so sure the scales are that balanced. Peter: Probably true. But... I know you want to get the family back together again. The return of the Argents to their glorious power. Am I right? But you know, you can't go back unless you can exhibit absolute and total control. I can offer control. I can teach you. Kate: So, you're willing to teach me in order to get what you want. Which is what? Peter: Obviously, I want my money back. Kate: Mmm-mmm. That's not it. Maybe part of it. But that's not all you want. Peeter: I need the money. Yes. But I'll admit, money only gets you so far. What I want is what I've always wanted. Power.	Plan: A: Agent McCall; Q: Who recognizes Violet as a member of the Orphans? A: Orphans; Q: What group of serial killers is Violet a member of? A: poisons; Q: What does Garrett use to kill Liam? A: Scott; Q: Who is able to hear Liam's distress call? A: Derek; Q: Who recruits Malia to find the pack of werewolves? A: the assassins; Q: Who killed the werewolves? A: Lydia; Q: Who deciphers the last part of the list? A: Eichen House; Q: Where does Lydia, Stiles and Deputy Parrish go to try to get Meredith's help? A: Meredith; Q: Who refuses to help Lydia, Stiles and Deputy Parrish? A: the last cipher key; Q: What is Meredith supposed to help them find? A: Chris; Q: Who does Scott fight with against Kate and the Berserkers? A: Satomi's pack; Q: What pack of werewolves are found dead? A: the money; Q: What did Garrett and Violet receive from the Benefactor? A: Peter; Q: Who offers to teach Kate to control her shift? Summary: Agent McCall recognizes Violet as a member of the Orphans, a group of teenage serial killers. Garrett attacks and poisons Liam, throws him into a well, and forces Scott to help him free Violet. However, Kate and the Berserkers have already abducted Violet, and Garrett is killed. Derek recruits Malia in an attempt to find the pack of the werewolves who have been killed by the assassins. Lydia, Stiles and Deputy Parrish go to Eichen House in an attempt to get Meredith's help in finding the last cipher key. She refuses, saying that the Benefactor has ordered her not to help them. Scott and Chris face off against Kate and the Berserkers, but are overpowered; during the fight, Scott discovers that Violet has been killed. Derek and Malia find Satomi's pack, only to discover that they are all dead. Liam howls a distress call to Scott, who is able to hear it and rescues Liam. Lydia deciphers the last part of the list, which includes Liam, Malia and Meredith. Scott and Stiles find the money that Garrett and Violet received from the Benefactor. Peter offers to teach Kate to control her shift.
["How I Met Your Mother", credits] [Title: The Year 2030] Narrator: So there was this one night, before I met your mother when I really wanted to go to the bar. Son: The bar? Big surprise! Daughter: You sure spend a lot of time in bars... Narrator: Well that's just what we did back then. (Shows picture of Ted) Narrator: Me. (Shows picture of Marshall and Lily sitting at a booth at the bar) Narrator: Marshall and Lily. (Shows picture of Barney using a payphone) Narrator: Barney (Shows picture of Lily and Robin, Pans in on Robin) Narrator: We all used to hang out at this one bar called "MacLaren's". (Shows picture of the whole gang in front of a camera) Narrator: But then one night. [The Year 2005] [In the Street - Ted/Lily/Marshall] (Ted and Lily on the phone walking with Marshall) Ted: (On Phone) Why don't we go to MacLaren's? Lily: (On Phone) Let's go to MacLaren's. Marshall: You guys talking to each other? Nobody's listening. Ted: What's wrong with MacLaren's? (Cut to Barney in Taxi) Barney: (On Phone) MacLaren's is bore, snore. Ted, tonight we're going to go out. We're going to meet some ladies. It's going to be legendary. Phone-five! (High-fives the phone) (Scene Freezes) Narrator: I had no idea why I hung out with Barney. (Scene unfreezes) Barney: You didn't phone-five did you? I know when you don't phone-five, Ted. Come on, we always go to MacLaren's. (Cut to Ted) Ted: Yeah, cause MacLaren's is fun... Barney: MacLaren's is this much fun. What I'm offering is the chance to have this much fun. Ted: See, you say that. You say it's going to be this much fun. But most of the time it ends up being this much fun. This much fun is good! It's safe. It's guaranteed! Barney: This hand gesture thing doesn't really work on the phone, does it? Ted: No it doesn't. (Cab pulls up right beside Ted. Barney's head pops out of the window.) Barney: Get in the cab. Marshall you too. Marshall: Oh, I wish I could... I think Lily and I are just goi... Barney: I understand. (To Ted) Get in the cab. Ted: Why can Marshall say no? Barney: Uhh... because he's getting laid. Marshall: Consistently. Barney: (Doing "I see you" hand motion) Ted, Ted, Ted. Right here. You keep going to the same bar, you're in a rut and I am a rut buster. I'm going to bust your rut (Smiles). Ted: It's not a rut, okay. It's a routine and I like it! Barney: Ted, what's the first syllable in rutting (trying to make it sound like "routine". Ted gives in and jumps in the cab) Peace out, suckers. (Cab speeds off.) Ted: Alright, so what's this legendary plan. Barney: First we got to pick someone up at the airport. Ted: Okay, I'm outta here. Barney: (To cabdriver) Estaban, doors! (Cab doors lock) [The Airport - Barney/Ted] (Ted walks alongside Barney who is carrying two suitcases, one in each hand.) Barney: Just this one little thing and the rest of the night is ours. Ted: Why do you have those suitcases, and who are we picking up? Barney: I don't know. Maybe her? Or her. Ted: Wait so when you said you were going to "pick someone up at the airport". You meant you were going to "pick someone up at the airport". Barney: (winks) Scenario. Couple of girls fly into town, looking for a fun weekend in NYC when they meet two handsome international business men just back from a lucrative trip to Japan. Sample dialogue, "You have a wheelie bag? Wh... I have a wheelie bag!" Ted: You've gotta be kidding me. Barney: False. Sidebar, tuck in your shirt. You look sketchy. Ted: I'm sketchy? Barney: Trust me, it's going to be legendary. Ted: Don't say "legendary", okay? You're too liberal with the word legendary. [Flashback - Ted answering the door to Barney] Barney: We're building an igloo in Central Park. It's gonna be legendary. Snow suit up! [Flashback ends] Barney: Ted, Ted, Ted. Right here! This is happening. Now you can either put your bags on the carousel now, or you can listen to me give you a really long speech convincing you to put the bags on the carousel. Your move. (Silence) Ted, since the dawn of time mankind has struggled... (Ted puts bags on carousel) [The Apartment - Marshall] (Marshall studying in the Apartment) Narrator: That night, Marshall had a ton of studying to do. So Lily went out with Robin who was new to New York and looking for a friend. [The Bar - Lily/Robin] Lily: I'm so glad we finally get to hang out just the two of us! Robin: Yeah. Lily: You sure you're okay giving up your Friday night to hang with an old almost-married lady? Robin: Oh please, I'm so sick of the "meet-market" scene. Guys are like a subway. You miss one, another one comes along in five minutes. Lily: Unless it's the end of the night, then you get on anything. Robin: Heyow! (Carl, the Bartender, gives them two drinks) Carl: Compliments of that guy. Lily: Really? Sweet. Carl: Oh, for you it's six dollars. Lily: I guess that's one drawback to being engaged. I'm sure that's why he didn't... (Man interjects) Guy#1: Hey. Lily: (peeking over his shoulder) Oh. Oh, hello! [The Airport - Ted/Barney] Ted: (To waiting woman) So...uh, did you just get in from Detroit? (Points to self) Japan. (Woman leaves) Barney: Okay, carousel four is tapped out. Ready? Because I'm about to drop some knowledge. Cute girls are not from Buffalo. Time-out. Ten o'clock. You ready to rock this, Tedder? Ted: Alright, um, I think we need to refine our back-story first. How did we... Barney: Ted, you klutzy, great guy, you! (Barney shoves Ted into two lady's cart and Ted trips backwards. To Women) Hey, Barney. (Adjusts tie) Laura: Oh, my god. (To Ted) Are you okay? Ted: I... I'm so sorry. Laura: It's fine, oh, you were a little shaky on your landing. I'd give you a 9.2. (Laughs) Ted: So, hi... I'm Ted. Laura: Laura. (Shaking hand) Look I'm really sorry that we have to hit and run but we've got a plane to catch. (Looks to friend, Tatiana) Ted: Oh, where're you headed? Laura: Philadelphia. Barney: Philly? That's where we're headed! Laura: You are? Well...uh...guess we'll see you on the plane. Barney: Yes, you will. (Girls leave. To Ted) Follow them, tickets on me. Ted: No, Barney. Don't you get on that escalator! And don't you dare get on that subsequent escalator! [The Apartment - Marshall] (Marshall studying) Marshall: (singing) Studyin' law. Making a responsible choice for my future... on a Friday Night. Bein' a lawyer had better be awesome. (Phone Rings) Marshall: (on Phone. Singing) What's up, Ted? Ted: (on Phone) Are you alright? Marshall: (on Phone) Yeah. Ted: (on Phone) Hey, guess where I am? I'm on a... ready? Plane to... ready?...Philadelphia. Marshall: (on Phone) That is awesome. Barney: Hey, is that Marshall? (Takes Phone) Marshall, stop whatever you're doing, get in that hoopty-ass Vierro of yours and come meet us in Philly. It's going to be legendary. Marshall: (on Phone) Man, I wish I could, guys, but... Barney: Yeah, yeah, yeah... I sent you some pictures on my phone, check it. (Pictures show Barney doing "I see you" hang gesture) Philly! (Hangs up. To Ted) Admit it, you're having fun. This much fun. Thirty-five thousand feet of fun! Ted: Well I didn't think we'd be on a flying to Philadelphia when I woke up this morning, I'll give you that. Barney: Let's go talk to those girls. Ted: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the seatbelt light is on. Barney: Ted, you've been living your whole life in a seatbelt. It's time to unclick. (Unclicks) Fight Attendant: (Walks by) Sir, seatbelt light's on. Barney: (sits back down) Yeah, sorry, sorry. [The Bar - Lily/Robin] Lily: So I grew up in Park Slope. Robin: Oh, I love Park Slope. When did you move to Manhattan? Guy#2: (Interrupts. To Robin) You're from Park Slope. Robin: (Smiling) Uh, no she is. (Points to Lily) Guy#2: (Ignoring Lily) So where're you from? Heaven. Robin: Yeah, I'm a ghost! Died fifteen years ago, like that pickup line. Lily: (Laughs) Heyow. (Guy#2 leaves) Robin: God, I'm so sorry. Lily: Oh, believe me I've been there. I have this line that I use when guys come (Guy#3 walks by) Check it out. Guy#3: (To Robin) Hey. Lily: You take this one, I'll save it for the next one. [In the Plane - Ted/Barney/Laura/Tatiana] (Ted and Barney are chatting with Laura and Tatiana) Ted: So what brings you guys to Philly? Laura: We're visiting our boyfriends. Tatiana: I think Chris is going to propose this weekend! Laura: (laughs) Isn't that great. Ted: (To Barney) So great. Narrator: So there we were, stuck on a plane to Philadelphia with two very unsingle girls. All thanks to your Uncle Barney. Laura: (Shows them pictures) Aren't they cute? They're both linebackers for the Eagles. Ted: Both? (To Barney) Both of their boyfriends are linebackers. [The Bar - Lily/Robin] (Lily on cell phone with Marshall) Lily: (On Phone) You're going to Philly? Why... Marshall: (On Phone) I...I didn't ask. Lily: (On Phone) Well it sounds like you're having a lot more fun than I am. I'm just talking to guys' backs while they hit on Robin. Marshall: (On Phone) Ouff, yeah... I bet she gets that a lot. Lily: (On Phone) Don't you bet I get that a lot? Marshall: (On Phone) Not with a ring on your finger. I mean, you know, guys see the ring and it's like Cha-Chung! Marshall parking only. Lily: (On Phone) Oh, of course, that's it the ring! I guess I'm not used to it yet. Marshall: (On Phone) Oh, it's totally the ring. If you took that ring off your finger, you'd have a ton o' guys crowding around your junk. Lily: (On Phone) I'm not going to take off my ring! Wouldn't you be jealous of guys swarming all over my beeswax? Mashall: (On Phone) Oh yeah, you know me, I'm the jealous type. Any groom so much as look at you, I'm a sack him in the kisser, no seriously, you girls have a good time tonight. (hangs up) Lily: (On Phone) Bye. (Lily takes ring off and places it in her pocket) Lily: Robin! Robin. (Waves her left hand ridiculously to show that she has no ring. Robin walks over) Hey, I'm over here. [Marshall's car - Marshall](Split scene of Barney and Ted vs. Marshall) Marshall: (On Phone) G-g-g-going to Philly! Ted: (On Phone) Marshall, don't come to Philly. Marshall: (On Phone) But we're on an adventure! Ted: (On Phone) We're on a Tarmac in Philadelphia, crazy adventure. Marshall: (On Phone) Fine! (Hangs up) Barney: (To Ted) No! No! The night is just started. Look, airport bar. Flight attendants! They'll get your tray table at its full upright position. Say what? (Goes for a high five) Officer McNeil: Passengers Mosby and Stinson? Please come with us, gentlemen. Keep your hands where I can see them. Ted: Barney, I am going to kill you. Barney: Don't say you're going to kill someone in front of airport security, not cool. (To security) Not cool. [Officer McNeil's Office - A cop/Officer McNeil/Ted/Barney] Barney: This is an outrage. We are international businessmen on an international business trip. I demand you release us immediately. Ted: You demand!? No, no, no, no, no... he does not demand. We... we... we have no demands! Officer McNeil: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to remain calm. Ted: (Whispering) Okay, yeah. I'm calm... I'm totally calm. Officer McNeil: We got footage of you placing two bags on JFK carousel three, and abandoning them to purchase a last minute flight with cash. Barney: (To Ted) Those bags were your responsibility. Ted: They were your bags. Officer McNeil: Sir, please. We're assessing the bag situation. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to JFK Airport, Carousel three. Bomb squad are hovering equipment over their bags) (Officer McNeil's office) Ted: Look, this is all just... it's a misunderstanding. Barney: (Stopping him) Please. (Silence) We are international businessmen. My colleague accidentally left the bags there now please let us go before we miss our international business meeting. Officer McNeil: Can't remember the last time I saw an international business man with an untucked shirt. In addition, we received this footage taken over the last few months. (Footage shows Barney placing two bags onto a carousel and JFK airport. And then a footage of a bag unzipping itself, and Barney jumps out of it to flirt with a woman) Barney: Believe it or not, that duff bag thing worked. Ted: Truth is, my friend... he does this thing where he goes to airports with fake luggage to pick up girls and we followed some here to Philadelphia. That's it! That's all this is! Officer McNeil: Nobody's that lame. Ted: Yes, he's that lame. Tell them you're that lame! (Silence) Barney: We are international businessmen... Ted: OH COME ON! Officer McNeil: Sir! Lower your voice or we'll restrain you. Barney: Dude, seriously, relax. Ted: We at least get to call our lawyer. Barney: Exactly! (To Ted) We have a lawyer? [Marshall's car - Marshall] Marshall: (On Phone) Listen to me, you're both American citizens. Don't let them pull any patriot-act voodoo. You both retain the right to refuse to answer any questions without an attorney present so don't say anything until I get there, alright? Okay, goodbye (Hangs up. Sings) To Philly! The adventure continues! Destroy! [SCENE_BREAK] [The Bar - Lily/Robin] Robin: It's ridiculous in here, why don't we go somewhere else? Lily: (Unbuttoning sweater) No, this place is great (positions mouth in an inviting kiss position) Robin: What are you doing? Lily: What? Robin: With your lips and everything...? Lily: My lips are always like this (drinks martini and drops it all over her blouse) [Officer McNeil's Office - Ted/Barney/Officer McNeil] (Ted and Barney have their heads on the table and their hands tied behind their backs) Ted: You had to play the race card. Barney: Relax, Ted. We didn't do anything wrong. And, B.T.W, we'd be out of here by now if you'd have tucked in your shirt. (Ted turns his head to face away from Barney) Officer McNeil: Go ahead, JFK... what is the baggage status? )Cut to JFK Airport, Carousel three with the Bomb Squad) Bomb Squad Guy: They're clean. It's just a whole bunch of condoms... and a power bar. (Cut back to Officer McNeil's Office) Officer McNeil: You're free to go. [Marshall's car - Marshall] Ted: (On Phone) Don't come to Philly. Marshall: (On Phone) Man, I'm almost half way there! Ted: (On Phone) Yeah, we just got released and we're heading back on the next flight. Meet us at MacLaren's maybe we can still make last call. Marshall: (On Phone) Can't we just... just... Ted: (On Phone) No, we can't just... we're going home! Barney: (To Ted) We're going to Sascha's? Ted: Who the hell is Sascha? Barney: Sascha. (Points to Security Woman) She's having friends over for drinks at her house. It's goanna be legen... wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose intolerant 'cuz the second half of that word is... dairy. Ted: No. Barney: Legendary! Marshall: (On Phone) Legendary, that sounds awesome! Ted: (On Phone) No, Marshall, we're going back. Marshall: (On Phone. Sighs) Fine. (Beep) Hold on I have another call. (Presses button) Hello. Barney: (On Phone) Marshall, we're going to Sascha's! Ted: No, we're not. Barney: (On Phone) Ted, Ted, Ted. (Does I'm watching you hand gesture) Yes, we are. Marshall: (On Phone With Ted) Sorry, Buddy, two against one. (hangs up) [The Bar - Lily/Robin] Robin: Ooh, look a booth opened up. Lily: Really. Robin: Yeah, I thought we could finally go talk, and you're not listening to me, so I'm going to walk away. (notices Lily is busy staring at a stranger) Lily: Yeah, yeah...booth (throws purse to Robin, spots a man. Robin leaves to booth. Man walks up to Robin.) Derrick: Hey. Lily: (Smiling) Hey. (Silence) I'm engaged, sorry. (Puts ring on) I took my ring off! It's very, very sweet of you to come over and talk to me, but I... just... Derrick: Yeah, I'm gay. Just came over to let you know that you sat on a grape. (Lily peels squished grape off her dress) Lily: Oh, damn it! (Takes ring off and places it in her pocket, upset) [Cut to Scenes of Philly] Narrator: So, Barney and I hit the town. Philadelphia, PA. Our first and only stop... Sascha's party. [Sascha's house - Sascha/Sascha friend's/Ted/Barney] (It's messy and Ted is extremely bored. He's sitting on a couch beside Barney and they are both sitting between to men on a yellow couch staring at space) Barney: So, uh... you're Sascha's friends, huh? Dana: You know it. Sascha: (Comes down the stairs with drinks) You guys, keep the volume down. You're goanna wake my grandpa. Who wants hard lemonade? (They all take some) Barney: Philly! Sascha: Shh! Barney: (Whispers) Philly! [The Bar - Lily/Robin] Narrator: Back at the bar, the girls night out wasn't going as Robin had hoped. (Cell Phone rings) Robin: (On Phone) Lily's phone. Marshall: (On Phone) Robin! Uh... Where's Lily Robin: (On Phone) She's uh... Marshall: (On Phone) Is she talking to some hot guy? Oh, you can tell me. It's totally cool. It was my idea! Hell, I told her she could take the ring off. Robin: (On Phone) Really? Well I thought it was kinda weird, but if you're cool with it. Yeah. It's off and she's talking to some guy. Do you want me to go over and... Marshall: (On Phone) No! Don't interrupt it's awesome. So the rings really off, huh? (Realizing what he's done) It's awesome... Well just tell her I called and... tell her that... she's awesome. (Hangs up. Sings dryly) Really, really awesome. Our relationship is built on mutual trust. (Dryly) I can't breathe! [Sascha's house - Sascha/Saschas's friends/Ted/Barney] Barney: (Laughs) Did you hear that, Ted? Dana works security at the Liberty Bell. Dana: (Smiling) I do okay. Barney: Wow it must be really well cornered off over there. You ever go behind the rope and touch it? Dana: Only all the time. Barney: Ever, like, stick your head inside it? Dana: Yeah. Barney: D'you ever lick it? Dana: Nope, I have never licked it. Barney: Hmm... I bet nobody in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell! If someone were to pull that off I dare say it would be... what's the word? Ted: (Decides he's going to leave) Well, this is my stop. Barney: Legendary, Ted, LEGENDARY! Ted: Barney, I'm going to the airport. Sascha, thank you... and uh... tell your grandpa I'm sorry I walked in on him in the bathroom. (Leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] [The Bar - Robin/Lily/Derrick] Derrick: I'll get some Club Soda for that stain. (Leaves) Robin: (enters) Lily, I thought tonight was about us hanging out, what are you doing? Lily: Just fending up the advances of that totally hot guy. Robin: Dude, I think that guy is gay. Lily: (Gives in) Oh, I know that guy is gay. Just Marshall and I have been together for nine years. I haven't been single since high school. Robin: You wanna be single? (Laughs) You wanna fight off loser guys all night, does that seem like fun to you? Lily: I guess I wanted to throw this net back into the ocean and see how many fish I could catch. So far, one. One gay dolphin. (Smiles) Robin: And Marshall. Lily, all these girls here tonight are looking to catch what you've already got. Lily: You're right I know. Hey do you wanna get some coffee and have an actual conversation? Robin: If, by "Coffee" you mean "Cheesecake", then yes. Derrick: (enters) Hey, I got that Club Soda. Let's see that booty. (Lily bends over for him to clean the stain, Marshall walks in) Lily: Oh, thank you so much. Marshall (infuriated) You wanna mess pal? That's my fiancé's hot backside that you're dabbing. Lily: Marshall, no. Marshall: Baby, please don't ever take that ring off again. No matter how awesome I say that it is. Derrick: It's okay, man... Marshall: BACK OFF HOMBRE. I'm not that afraid to fight you. You wanna test this guy? Be my guest! Lily: Marshall, he's gay! Marshall: Oh, thank god... I've never been in a fight before. (hugs him) Derrick: You don't say! (Scene Freezes) Narrator: So it turns out Uncle Marshall really was the jealous type. Unfortunately, that guys boyfriend... also the jealous type. (Scene Unfreezes) (Boyfriend pulls Marshall off Derrick and drops him on the floor) Lily: Hey! [Taxi ride to Airport - Ted/Barney] (Ted is exhausted and crabby) Barney: Could have licked the Liberty Bell. Ted: We're going to the airport. Barney: Bong, bong... Ted: Why do I hang out with you? Why? All I wanted was to have a regular beer, in a regular bar with my regular friends, in my regular city! Barney: Ted, Ted... you're not even looking. Ted: No, I'm not. Barney: Look, our forefathers died for the pursuit of happiness, okay. Not for the sit around and wait of happiness. Now if you want, you can go to the same bar, drink the same beer talk to the same people everyday, or you can lick the Liberty Bell! You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it! Cabdriver#2: That was beautiful, man! Barney: Thanks, Leonard. Ted, you're missing out on a valuable life lesson! Ted: Look, I don't need you to teach me how to live, okay. I know how to live. If you want to go lick the Liberty Bell just go lick it yourself. Barney: No, it has to be the two of us. Ted: Why? Why do you need me? Barney: Because, you're my best friend, alright? You don't have to tell me I'm yours. But the way I see it, we're a team. Without you, I'm just the dynamic uno. You know what, fine. If you wanna go home... then we'll go home. Ted: Fine...we'll go lick the Liberty Bell! Barney: Good, (smiles) 'cuz we're here! (Hops out) Ted: (voice) I had no idea how Barney redirected the cab without me knowing, but we got out, Dana let us in and by god we licked the Liberty Bell. And you know what it tastes like? [The Bar - Ted/Cute Girl] (Ted talking to a woman) Cute Girl: What? Ted: Freedom... No actually it tasted like pennies. Cute Girl: (laughs) My, god. Did you guys really do that? Narrator: We really did and that was when I realized why I hung out with Barney. I never got where I thought I wanted to go, but I always got a great story. [Title: The Year 2030] Daughter: So, that girl you were talking to... that was mom? Narrator: Kids, every story in a man's life is like a dot in an impressionist's painting. And when you... Son: So that's a no? Narrator: Yeah, that's a no. (Kids are fed up) What? Come on!	Plan: A: Ted; Q: Who agrees to let Barney disrupt his routine? A: Philadelphia; Q: Where does Ted and Barney end up after their impromptu trip to the airport? A: airport security; Q: What did Ted and Barney have trouble with in Philadelphia? A: Robin; Q: Who does Lily feel is more successful with men than her? A: drinks; Q: What do Lily and Robin go out for? A: men; Q: What is Lily jealous of Robin's success with? A: her engagement ring; Q: What does Lily blame for her lack of success with men? A: Marshall; Q: Who travels between the two situations in an attempt to rectify the group's problems? Summary: Ted agrees to let Barney disrupt his routine by taking an impromptu trip to the airport with him that eventually leads the duo to Philadelphia and trouble with airport security. Meanwhile, Lily and Robin go out for drinks, but Lily becomes jealous when she is not as successful with men as Robin is, for which she blames her engagement ring. Marshall travels between both situations in an attempt to rectify the group's problems.
LOCAL The camera represents Nathan's eyes and we see what he sees. DMITRI: "O villain, villain, smiling damned villain, that one may smile and smile and be a villain." No smile... On such a beautiful morning. Shame. Drink this. I won't have you dying before I kill you. That's it. Don't be afraid. NATHAN: You think I'm afraid? I'm not afraid of you. You can threaten me all you want. You can talk in your stupid riddles all day. You can take my world... You can take my life, but you won't get my fear. I'm not afraid of you. And I'm not going to be. DMITRI: Ahh. You think your woman is afraid? "He hath given his empire up to a whore." NATHAN: You touch her, and I'll kill you. You understand me? Are you listening? You touch my wife, and I'll kill you! Get it off of me! I'll kill you! Hey! NALEY'S HOUSE Haley gets out her room and sees Jamie is sitting on his bed. JAMIE: Dad's not coming home, is he? HALEY: Don't say that. JAMIE: It's true, isn't it? HALEY: No, it's not true. Your fa... (Doorbell rings) HALEY: I'll be right back, okay? Haley opens the door. STEVENS: Mrs. Scott. HALEY: Yeah. STEVENS: Do you remember me? Officer Stevens. HALEY: Yeah, I remember. STEVENS: I know there are detectives handling things, but I've been going over the evidence and following a few leads of my own. Quietly. HALEY: Why quietly? What does that mean? STEVENS: It means I'm not a Detective, and this isn't my case. I-I shouldn't even be here. HALEY: So why are you here? STEVENS: I became a cop to help people, Mrs. Scott, and ever since this case became official, I've carried around the fact that I sent you away that first night. I'm sorry. I need to fix that. HALEY: Okay. Um, how can I help you? Quietly? STEVENS: Okay, um... Is there anything that you haven't told us? Or shown us? HALEY: Yeah. Yeah, just a second. Nathan brought this back for our daughter. And I found it at the airport, so... STEVENS: Okay. You were smart to bag it. HALEY: I didn't bag it because I was I just wanted to keep it the way that it was. I'd like to have it back when you're done, please. STEVENS: Of course. Anything else? Anything or anyone suspicious or out of the ordinary? HALEY: You mean besides his father, Dan? STEVENS: I know we released him, but... What do you think? HALEY: I don't know. I've given up on Dan Scott. TRAILER Dan makes researches and possibilities. FLASHBACK, WAGON RESTAURANT Dan remembers Nathan's visit. NATHAN: Game-winning double. DAN: Baseball. NATHAN: He loves it. FLASHBACK, NALEY'S HOUSE Haley found the ball and the picture. HALEY: I thought you said you lost everything in the fire. TRAILER DAN: Where are you, son? BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke is in the living room. Julian comes in. JULIAN: Hi. BROOKE: Hey. JULIAN: You okay? BROOKE: He's up for parole. Xavier. JULIAN: What? How can that be? He murdered Quentin. BROOKE: They never convicted him of Quentin's murder. They convicted him of kidnapping and aggravated assault, and now he's up for parole. JULIAN: That guy's a psychotic maniac. Whether they convicted him or not, he needs to be locked up. BROOKE: He wants to meet with me before his hearing. JULIAN: No way. BROOKE: I think I should. JULIAN: Why? BROOKE: I want to look in his eyes and see if he's still the same person he used to be. HOPITAL CENTRE Clay has a seance. ALVAREZ: All right, Clay, talk to me about the person that you have become. Well, for instance, what's your daily routine? What's a day in your life like? CLAY: I don't know. Um...I work a lot. I spend time with Quinn.You know, we cook, play video games, go to the comic-book store. ALVAREZ: Who do you like? CLAY: Wolverine and Batman. ALVAREZ: Ah, loners. CLAY: Solitary heroes. ALVAREZ: Fair enough. What else? CLAY: Well...I'm awesome in bed, so she begs me to have s*x. A lot. Uh...I don't know. I mean, I don't know. We hang out. We get drunk. We watch Haley and Nathan's kids... not when we're drunk. She buys me weird clothes online... And calls me Sergio. Geez, no wonder I'm in here, right? ALVAREZ: I'm sad to say you sound boringly normal. I understand your friend Nathan is missing. I'm sorry. How's his family doing? CLAY: I think they're holding their breath. We all are. I was, uh, supposed to be the one to go to Europe. ALVAREZ: Why didn't you go? CLAY: Because I started having these stupid fugue episodes, and Nate wanted to help me. ALVAREZ: Clay, do you feel responsible for this? CLAY: Why the hell would you ask me that? ALVAREZ: Because I know you. CLAY: Hell, yes, I feel responsible. It should have been me. ALVAREZ: He sounds like a good guy. CLAY: Yeah. He's more than that. He's a great guy... With an amazing wife and kids. I would do anything for that family. AIRPORT Haley, Quinn and the kids wait someone. HALEY: Do you see him yet? QUINN: No. You? HALEY: Uh... Yeah. JAMIE: Uncle Lucas! LUCAS: Hey, bud. (He hugs Jamie) LUCAS: Give me a second. HALEY: You don't write. You don't call. LUCAS: Hi. HALEY: Hi. LUCAS: Buddy, come here. Let me get a look at you. Uh-huh. Well, you look... Exactly the same. JAMIE: I do not! LUCAS: I'm serious. I was thinking by now you'd have a mustache or something. JAMIE: See, Lydia? LUCAS: She has your eyes. HALEY: I think she looks like Jamie. You remember my sister Quinn. LUCAS: Of course. It's good to see you. QUINN: You too. How's Sawyer and Peyton? LUCAS: They're good. Well, they should be. They team up on me and get their way. I missed you so much, bud. JAMIE: Me too. LUCAS: You better have. Come on. Let's go get some food. HALEY: Are you gonna take her? JAMIE: Yeah. CHASE'S LOFT Chase is waking up by his cellphone. CHASE(at phone): Hello. This is him. I understand. Thank you. (A girl gets out the bathroom) GIRL: Hey. CHASE: Uh... Wait. What? (Chris is here too) CHRIS: Hey. CHASE: Oh! CHRIS: Chase. GIRL: Baby, I gotta go. CHRIS: No. No, no, no.One more pony ride. GIRL: No. You can't afford it. Besides, you weren't that good at it anyway. Bye, boys. CHRIS: Bye, pony. CHASE: Did she just leave in her underwear? She's a stripper. I think they do that. CHRIS: Dude! Awesome damn night! CHASE: Not so loud! Geez. CHRIS: What's with you, anyway? CHASE: I just got called to active duty. CHRIS: What?! You got drafted? Can they do that? CHASE: I'm in the air force, Chris. CHRIS: Really? Why? (An other girl is here too) OTHER GIRL: Did pony just leave me? CHRIS: Awesome... Damn... Night. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke looks some pictures sitting in the stairs. Julian comes to her. JULIAN: I don't think you should go to see him. BROOKE: I have to. JULIAN: Why? BROOKE: I'm not afraid of him. I'm not gonna be afraid of him. JULIAN: Well, then, you can not be afraid of him from here. BROOKE: I want to believe in forgiveness. I want to believe that I have that capacity in my heart to forgive someone, but... JULIAN: Some things are unforgivable. BROOKE: I can forgive my part of it... But not Quentin's. I have to go there. I just... I have to. JULIAN: Not "I." "We." You and me. BROOKE: You and me. LOCAL The dealer fights Nathan. Dmitri comes in. DMITRI: Knock it off, budala. BILLY: Hey, man. Check this out. Come on, man! What? DMITRI: Are you Chuck on "the gossip girl"? "No" means "no." What are you doing here? BILLY: I just need some speed. Kids are eating that stuff like gummy bears, man. HOPITAL CENTRE ALVAREZ: So it was Nathan who introduced you to Quinn. CLAY: Well, sort of. He introduced us and then forbid me from seeing her. ALVAREZ: Why do you think he forbid you? CLAY: Because he was a client, I guess. ALVAREZ: And what about Nathan made you want to sign him? CLAY: You know, he was struggling. He'd been through some rough times, but he was driven to rise above it all. ALVAREZ: Like you. CLAY: Yeah. A-and he... he had a family. ALVAREZ: Why do you mention that? CLAY: Well, because helping him was helping them. You know, they were dreaming his dream with him. Sometimes for him. ALVAREZ: Clay, do you ever resent that he... That he had a family? CLAY: You're asking some screwed-up questions today, aren't you, doc? ALVAREZ: Wouldn't be such a terrible thing to resent someone who has something that you could have had. CLAY: I have never resented Nathan's family for a second. I've been jealous of them. Sometimes I still am. But I've grown to be protective of them. ALVAREZ: You ever resent that you couldn't protect Sara? CLAY: Every day. ALVAREZ: You know, it's interesting, Clay... That, uh, your job involves protecting people, and yet, in your personal life, you've struggled to do just that, isn't it? CLAY: I'm just an agent, doc. AIRPORT Haley talks with Lucas. HALEY: What if he's dead and he's not coming back? LUCAS: He's coming back. HALEY: I don't... Luke, I need to say the words out loud and let them shock me because I have to face the reality of the situation. Nathan is missing. There's a good chance that he's not coming back. LUCAS: The chances are better that he is. Look, I know you've done the research same as me. 95% of all missing persons are located. HALEY: And of the ones that aren't, most abductees are dead within three hours. LUCAS: You don't know that he's been abducted. HALEY: Then where is he? Where is he? This is Nathan we're talking about. He has been through hell and back, and he's overcome all of it. So what do you think happened? You think he got amnesia and he's gone and he's got a new identity somewhere? Do you think he left me? No. He's not home because he can't come home. I can feel it in my soul, Luke. LUCAS: Haley, this is Nathan, and he will come home. Now, say that out loud. HALEY: He's coming home. HOPITAL CENTRE ALVAREZ: Talk to me about the... Person you became after Sara's death. You were coming to see me, and then you just stopped. I never asked why. CLAY: I just got tired of talking about it. I got tired of sleeping 15 hours a day. I got tired of that apartment. And I got tired of running into old friends and seeing the polite grin on their face because they didn't know what to say or how to say it. So I left. ALVAREZ: Where'd you go? CLAY: Nowhere. I just got in the car one day and started driving. I stayed at cheap hotels, ate fast food. Nobody saw me. And nobody looked me in the eye. That's how I wanted it to be. I drove, um... I drove as far as I could, and I decided that when I ran out of road I would check into a hotel somewhere... And I'd kill myself. That's when I saw her. At the end of the road. She was standing on the balcony of this... Stupidly large beach house. ALVAREZ: Sara. CLAY: So I rented it, and I sat up at night talking to her,like we used to. And she told me to stop feeling sorry for myself...And to get back to work. So I did. And then I found Nate. AIRPORT Jamie looks for something in his bag. JAMIE: I can't find my dad. QUINN: What, buddy? JAMIE: The video he sent me. I put it on my iPod, but I didn't bring it. QUINN: Okay, well, I mean, you know it's at home, right? JAMIE: But I want to take it with me. It's the last video he sent me from Europe. QUINN: Wait. You have your laptop. JAMIE: Yeah, but it's not on there. It's on the computer in my room. QUINN: I mean, we could call someone and have them send you the file. Or, I mean, when I get home, I can. JAMIE: We could call Julian. They have a key, and he'll know how. QUINN: Perfect. And, Jamie... We're gonna get your dad back. Video and for real. Call Julian. JAMIE(at phone): Julian. It's Jamie. CLUB TRIC Chuck arrives. CHASE: Chuck Skolnick in the house! CHUCK: Hey. CHASE: What's going on with you? CHUCK: Nothing. CHASE: Dude, sit down. Have a root beer. CHASE: How's your dad? CHUCK: Good. Yeah, really good. My dad's awesome. CHASE: So, you think he'll be sticking around for a while? CHUCK: Yeah, I guess. Why? CHASE: Well, um... I have to go back to the air force. CHUCK: When? CHASE: The next couple days. But you'll have Chris... And your dad. It's gonna be all right. CHUCK: Yeah. CHASE: Hey. It'll be all right. How about we hang out tonight? We could do something fun. CHUCK: I can't. I have plans with my dad. AIRPORT HALEY: He needs his dad. We all do. LUCAS: What are the police saying? HALEY: Not much. I don't know. They don't seem as concerned as they should be or as active as they should be. It's not good enough. It's a nightmare. LUCAS: I really think I should just come back to Tree Hill. HALEY: No... LUCAS: No, there's gotta be something more I can do. HALEY: No, you're doing it. I need you to take the kids out of the house before I completely lose it and Jamie realizes how bad things are. Luke, they'll be happier with you guys. LUCAS: Okay. HALEY: Okay? LUCAS: And as soon as Nathan comes home, you'll be a family again. And he will, Haley. I promise. HALEY: I wish you could keep that promise more than any other you've ever made. But I think it's really bad this time, Luke. I think that it's really, really bad. LOCAL Dmitri comes back. DMITRI: There he is! My cash cow. You should be mooing for me, cow. Our terms have been received. And my people are willing to renegotiate the contract for your death. So, are you afraid now, Nathan Scott? Because you should be. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Julian looks at Nathan's video. NATHAN(at the video): Doesn't matter how far I go, Jamie Scott. You're always with me. Even when I'm in some ghetto in wherever I'm at. But, uh, you be good, okay? Be good to your mom and Lydia, help out around the house. I'll be home soon. You're a good man, son. I love you. SOUND STAGE Julian comes to see Dan. Dan lunches. JULIAN: What's this? DAN: Lunch. You want some? JULIAN: No. Well, maybe. Burgers smell pretty good. DAN: You know, the secret to a good burger is... Never mind. JULIAN: Here... this is a video I thought you might like. There's a laptop in the trailer. I'll see you later. I gotta go to prison with Brooke. DAN: Prison, huh? They're gonna love you there. JULIAN: Yeah, thanks. TRAILER Dan looks at the video. NATHAN(at the video): Doesn't matter how far I go, Jamie Scott. You're always with me. Even when I'm in some ghetto in wherever I'm at. But, uh, you be good, okay? Be good to your mom and Lydia, help out around the house. I'll be home soon. You're a good man, son. I love you. You're a good man, son. I love you. good man, son. I love you... Son. I love you... Son. I love you. HOPITAL CENTRE ALVAREZ: How do you feel about children, Clay? CLAY: What do you mean? ALVAREZ: Mm, family, kids, you. CLAY: I guess there was a time where I would have said "not for me." But being around Nate's family, you know, his son, Jamie, and the baby... It's nice. ALVAREZ: You spend a lot of time with them? CLAY: Yeah. We have Jamie quite a bit, and Quinn's been watching Lydia, so we've pretty much seen her grow up. So, I don't know. ALVAREZ: What if Quinn got pregnant? CLAY: I mean, if you're asking if I love her, then, yes, I do. ALVAREZ: That's good, but that's not what I asked you. LOCAL Dmitri is eating in front of Nathan. He talks to him. DMITRI: I saw you play once. You lost. You fall behind in fourth quarter, you no come back. Sometimes there's no comeback. NATHAN: Can I have a drink? Water. DMITRI: You forgot to say "please." NATHAN: Please. DMITRI: "Nothing so becomes a man as modest stillness and humility. But when the blast of war blows in our ears, he imitates the action of the tiger." I like you, Nathan Scott. Too bad I have to kill you. (Dmitri gives the water but Nathan catches up and hits him) NATHAN: How's that for a comeback, huh? (Nathan tries to take a knife to free himself. Billy comes in) BILLY: Yo, Dmitri. Yo, Dmitri! PRISON Brooke can talk with Xavier. XAVIER: I didn't think you'd show. BROOKE: You said you wanted to talk to me, so talk. XAVIER: Just like that, huh? Look... I'm sorry for what I done to you. I've had a lot of time to think about the mistakes that I made... And to make peace with it. And I just... Want to do right. I just want to go about my business... And live my life. So... I'm sorry for what I done to you. That's all. BROOKE: And what about Quentin fields? His family... what about him? XAVIER: They never convicted me of that. BROOKE: I have two children. Boys. They have their entire lives ahead of them... COURT Brooke talks in front of the court. BROOKE: Just like my friend Quentin fields once did. Like Xavier Daniels once did. I hope that when they're adults, they'll believe in redemption and rehabilitation. I hope they'll believe in forgiveness. Because I do. I just don't believe in it for Xavier Daniels. I don't believe he's changed, I don't believe he's sorry, and I don't believe he's paid for his crimes. He is an angry, hateful, violent human being. And I'm sorry, but it would be a mistake to release him. I won't feel safe, and neither should any of you. Can he change? I hope so. But has he? No, I don't think he has. And I don't think he will. CLUB TRIC Chase sees Chuck's father flirted with a woman. CHUCK'S HOUSE Chase visits Chuck. CHASE: There he is. Chuck skolnick. Thought you were hanging out with your dad tonight. CHUCK: We are. Yeah, I mean, we were. We had a great day. CHASE: Yeah? What did you do? CHUCK: Dad took me to the go-kart track. You know, the one by the highway. You should have seen this one race. We wrecked like everybody else on the track. It was pretty awesome. CHASE: Chuck, uh, that go-kart track's been closed for months now. CHUCK: Oh, yeah, did I say the one by the highway? I meant the other one. There's another one. It's... it's new. So... What are you doing here, anyways? CHASE: I just came by to see ya. CHUCK: Well, uh, yeah, we should probably keep it down 'cause my dad's asleep inside, and my mom says he needs his rest. CHASE: Yeah. Yeah. AIRPORT Haley is at phone with Sawyer. HALEY(at phone): I love you, too, Sawyer. I miss you. Yeah. Okay. Okay, put your mommy on the pho... (She hangs up) HALEY: Ah. She hung up on me. Typical. LUCAS: Of course she did. She can talk on the phone for hours, but, you know, it's the listening part she's not big on. MAN: Flight 417 now boarding at gate 5. LUCAS: That's us. HALEY: Yeah. LUCAS: We should probably go. QUINN: I'm gonna give you some space, okay? I'll wait over there. Come here, give me a hug. I'm gonna miss you and Lydia so much. See you soon, okay? JAMIE: All right. QUINN: Luke, thank you. Yeah. Take care. LUCAS: You too. HALEY: Ready for your big adventure? Gonna go stay with Uncle Lucas and aunt Peyton? They're gonna take such good care of you, baby. As soon as your daddy gets back, you're gonna come straight home, okay? He misses you, and so will I. I love you, sweet girl. Mwah. All right, well, you always wanted to stay with Uncle Lucas. JAMIE: I'm fine, mom. HALEY: Come here. He's coming home. JAMIE: I know. HALEY: Do you also know that I love you with everything inside of my heart? Because I do. JAMIE: I know that, too. I'm fine, mom. HALEY: Well, I'm not. Okay. Thank you for everything. LUCAS: Don't mention it. Thank you for letting me. Thank you for calling me and letting me help... You for once. Just thank you for being you, Hales. I... Could never thank you enough for that. HALEY: I missed you, Lucas. LUCAS: I love you. HALEY: Yeah, that too. Okay. I'm gonna walk away, because if I don't... I won't... Go. Okay. Mwah! Oh! Bye. Bye. Call me when you land, okay? JAMIE: All right. HALEY: Be good, and take care of your sister. JAMIE: Okay. HALEY: Okay. LUCAS: I will. JAMIE: Hey, mom? It's gonna be okay. TRAILER Dan looks at Nathan's video again. NATHAN(at the video): Doesn't matter how far I go, Jamie Scott. You're always with me. Even when I'm in some ghetto in wherever I'm at. But, uh, you be good, okay? Be good to your mom and Lydia, help out around the house. I'll be home soon. You're a good man, son. I love you. LOCAL Nathan tries to gets out and sees Stevens. He wants helping him. STEVENS: Psst! You hurt? NATHAN: No, I'm okay. STEVENS: All right, I'll get you out of here. Hang on. There's an exit through the next room. If you run into trouble, shoot first. Stay near the road. Look for my squad car. I'll catch up. Go. Nathan enters in a room and sees Dmitri. DMITRI: Welcome back, my friend. (Nathan shoots and any ball gets out the gun. It's a trap. Stevens enters in the room and knocks Nathan out) STEVENS: Do I have to do everything myself? JULIAN'S CAR Julian and Brooke go home. BROOKE: You think I'm a bad person for what I said? JULIAN: No, I think you're a great person for what you said. BROOKE: I could tell. When I asked him about Quentin, I could...Tell that he hasn't changed. JULIAN: The first time you had to face him, you were so brave and strong. And I fell in love with you. And today in that room, you were just as brave and strong. And I fell in love with you even more. BROOKE: And I couldn't have done it without you. Either time. You don't think they'll let him out? CHUCK'S HOUSE Chase is ready to go. CHASE: So, listen, I know your dad's in town, but I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out until I leave. Just me and you. And... Maybe Chris. CHUCK: Okay. CHASE: All right. All right, then. I'll see you later. Dude... Dude, you okay? CHUCK: Yeah, I'm fine. CHASE: What's going on there? CHUCK: Nothing. CHASE: Chuck... CHUCK: I just fell off that stupid bike you gave me, that's all. CHASE: Let me see. CHUCK: No. CHASE: Chuck, let me see. ohh, geez! Chuck! Does your... Does your mom know about this? CHUCK: No. And you can't tell her, okay? She'll... she'll take my bike away. You won't tell her, right? CHASE: How'd you fall? CHUCK: I don't know. I just... I hit the curb, and I fell. It's no big deal. I gotta go. KAREN'S CAFE Brooke closes the cafe. Xavier looks at her from the street. TRAILER Dan and Julian watch Nathan's video again. NATHAN(at the video): You're a good man, son. I love you. DAN: Right there. Push in on that. JULIAN: Hold on. I can make it better. What is it? Does that mean something? DAN: Yeah. JULIAN: Well, that's good, right? DAN: No. It's not good at all. AIRPORT Haley and Quinn look at the plane takes off. QUINN: You okay? HOPITAL CENTRE ALVAREZ: Are you worried about Nathan, Clay? CLAY: Am I worried for his safety? Of course. But Nathan Scott is the strongest guy I know. Wherever he is, however he is, he's getting stronger. He'll come home. And if he can't... Someone's in for the fight of their life. LOCAL Stevens ties Nathan to the chair. NATHAN: How can you do this? A cop. STEVENS: I'm a desk cop. At least to them, I am. They're wrong. They don't want to make me a Detective? Fine! This definitely pays better. By the way...Your wife says hello. NATHAN: Oof! DMITRI: Okay. Okay. Okay. "Let's be sacrificers but not butchers. Let's kill him boldly but not wrathfully. Let's carve him as a dish fit for the gods, not hew him as a carcass fit for hounds. And let our hearts, as subtle masters do, stir their servants to an act of rage." (Cellphone rings) DMITRI:Good news. We've reached new financial agreement. So, they send more money...and then you die. End of the episode.	Plan: A: Haley; Q: Who is trying to find Nathan? A: help; Q: What does Haley seek from Lucas? A: Lucas; Q: Who takes Jamie and Lydia out of town to stay with him and Peyton? A: guest star Chad Michael Murray; Q: Who plays Lucas? A: an escape attempt; Q: What is Nathan doing? A: Brooke; Q: Who meets Xavier? A: parole; Q: What is Xavier up for? A: Julian uncovers; Q: What evidence helps Dan in his search for Nathan? A: Clay; Q: Who makes a connection with another patient in rehab? Summary: Haley seeks help from Lucas (guest star Chad Michael Murray) as Nathan makes an escape attempt. Lucas takes Jamie and Lydia out of town to stay with him and Peyton until Haley can find Nathan and bring him home. Brooke comes face-to-face with Xavier who is up for parole. Julian uncovers evidence that assists Dan in his search for Nathan. Clay makes a connection with another patient in rehab. Episode is named after a song by the band Explosions in the Sky .
THE INVASION OF TIME BY "DAVID AGNEW" GRAHAM WILLIAMS AND ANTHONY READ Part Three Running time: 25:00 [SCENE_BREAK] BORUSA: He's mad! Guard! DOCTOR: Resistance is useless. The Vardans have more power than we have dreamed of and more knowledge than we can hope for. You must submit the way I did when I first met them. BORUSA: And when was that? DOCTOR: A long time ago. BORUSA: So you knew about this all the time. You knew about this before your induction. DOCTOR: Yes, before that, yes. BORUSA: And all you know is in the Matrix. DOCTOR: And all I know is in the Matrix. BORUSA: You really disappoint me, Doctor. I expected better of you. DOCTOR: Did you really? Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] RODAN: The invaders are in control. LEELA: Good. Now we can fight them. RODAN: Didn't you hear the Lord President's announcement? We must submit. LEELA: You keep your Lord President, I'll keep my Doctor. He has a plan. RODAN: What plan? LEELA: I don't know. RODAN: Then how can you say? LEELA: He always has a plan. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: You will now disperse until my next summons. BORUSA: You have no right! DOCTOR: Borusa. Have you carried out my instructions? BORUSA: Regarding what, Supremacy? DOCTOR: The redecoration of my office. BORUSA: The matter is in hand. DOCTOR: Ah. (quietly) But is it finished? BORUSA: I believe so. DOCTOR: Confirm it, and meet me there within the hour. LEADER: Congratulations, Doctor. You show great promise in the application of power. You could be a first grade dictator. DOCTOR: Thank you. You're very kind. That's very kind of you. (sotto, walking away) K9. LEADER: What did you say? DOCTOR: Nothing. LEADER: Doctor? DOCTOR: Yes? LEADER: How long will it take you to find the Great Key? DOCTOR: Oh. Oh, it's just a matter of time. [SCENE_BREAK] LEELA: There's no point in further discussion. The discussion is for the wise or the helpless, and I am neither. RODAN; Then what are you going to do? LEELA: Well, if the Doctor wished me banished, I'll be banished. RODAN: You will surrender? LEELA: No! You talk always of surrender. Are all your tribe like this? RODAN: We are rational. LEELA: You are cowards. No, if the Doctor wished me banished, it was for a reason. RODAN: Reason dictates the Doctor is a traitor. LEELA: Never! RODAN: Reason dictates LEELA: Then reason is a liar! RODAN: And if I am right? LEELA: Then I am wrong, and I will face the consequence. Are you coming? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Nice. Yes, really nice. Bit rococo for a purist like me. What are you doing here, Borusa? BORUSA: You wished to see me, your Excellence. DOCTOR: Did I? Did I really? Oh yes, yes. Are the decorations complete? BORUSA: As you can see. DOCTOR: Completely complete. BORUSA: To the last detail. DOCTOR: No substitutes, no forgeries, no penny-pinching. BORUSA: They are the finest to be had in the whole Thessorian Empire. DOCTOR: And this exquisite relief work, in pure lead? BORUSA: As you can see? DOCTOR: Good. Now at last we can talk. [SCENE_BREAK] ANDRED: Stop! [SCENE_BREAK] BORUSA: But the strain must have been intolerable. DOCTOR: Nearly. I owe you a great deal, Lord Borusa. Especially apologies for the indignities and insults I threw at you. BORUSA: The President need apologise to no one. DOCTOR: Thank you. BORUSA: The President DOCTOR: Need thank no one. True, very true. It's a habit I picked up. BORUSA: How accurate is your data? DOCTOR: Absolutely accurate, but not yet complete. BORUSA: The Vardans can travel along wavelengths of any sort? DOCTOR: Yes. BORUSA: In the sense that any electro-temporal field aids communication, are they telepathic? DOCTOR: Hmm, yes. They can read thoughts. BORUSA: But a lead-lined room would shield you from them. DOCTOR: True. BORUSA: Yet you maintained a partial shielding unaided. DOCTOR: Well, I had the benefit of your training. BORUSA: And you did not think that I could shield myself? DOCTOR: Well, Lord Borusa, you and the other Time Lords are singularly logical, hmm? You're also short on humour and imagination. You can't offer distractions as I can. What's for tea? BORUSA: Tea? DOCTOR: Tea. BORUSA: Tea is camillia in dried form DOCTOR: I know what tea is. BORUSA: Well, what's that got to do with the threat from the Vardans? DOCTOR: See, you're too single-minded. You're as transparent as good, old fashioned glass. BORUSA: You're right. I wouldn't last a moment. My mind is too easy to read. The master learns from the student, eh, Doctor? [SCENE_BREAK] RODAN: So, what are you going to do? ANDRED: That depends. How much is she involved with the invaders? LEELA: I am not involved with them. I am against them. RODAN: She doesn't even know who they are. ANDRED: But she's the President's friend. LEELA: Yes, I am. I want to save him. ANDRED: And that's why you destroyed the transduction barrier. LEELA: I destroyed the? RODAN: She couldn't have. She was with me. ANDRED: Who did, then? RODAN: I have no idea. Oh look, we must get out of the Citadel. ANDRED: What for? RODAN: Well, it's safer than staying in here. ANDRED: All right. But be careful. There's a total curfew on. If any of my men see you, they'll shoot. RODAN: What? ANDRED: Kelner's orders. RODAN: Oh, come with us, Andred. ANDRED: Somebody's got to try and balance Castellan Kelner. He's having a lovely time, settling old scores, locking people up. Besides, you never know, there might be a chance to have a go at the invaders. LEELA: Come on. ANDRED: Or even the President. [SCENE_BREAK] BORUSA: But why banish your friend Leela? DOCTOR: Because she could be the biggest danger of all. BORUSA: Oh, yes. If I'm as transparent as good, old-fashioned glass. DOCTOR: Until she gets to outer Gallifrey. BORUSA: That barbarian garden? How can she be safe there? DOCTOR: Well, that barbarian garden's her natural habitat. She's a huntress, a creature of instinct. The power out there BORUSA: I know. Awful. Can she survive? [SCENE_BREAK] RODAN: Oh, I'm so tired. I must rest. LEELA: We haven't come far enough. RODAN: I never thought it'd be like this. LEELA: What, you've never been outside the Citadel before? RODAN: No, why should I have? There's everything we need inside. LEELA: This is much better than inside. RODAN: It's frightening. LEELA: Why are you scared? RODAN: It's all so ... natural. LEELA: We must go on. They can still see us here from the Citadel. RODAN: How much further? LEELA: Just over there, then you can rest. RODAN: All right. LEELA: Come on. RODAN: Now can we rest? LEELA: Yes. Yes, rest here. RODAN: Whose stupid idea was it to leave the Citadel? LEELA: Oh, you'd rather be with the invaders? RODAN: No, you're quite right. It's got to be safer here. [SCENE_BREAK] KELNER: You will stay with the President at all times. You will be his personal bodyguard, do you understand? BODYGUARD: Yes, Castellan. KELNER: You will take your orders only from me, and you will report to me everything the President says and does. Understood? BODYGUARD: Of course, Castellan. KELNER: You see, there may be those who wish to dispose of the President, but you will protect him against every threat until I tell you otherwise. BODYGUARD: Nothing will happen to him while I'm guarding him, Castellan. KELNER: Good. Because if anything does happen, I would have to take over as President, and I have no wish to expose myself to the dangers of that position (pause) for the moment. BODYGUARD: I understand perfectly, sir. KELNER: Good. You will be suitably rewarded when the time comes. Now go about your business. BODYGUARD: Yes, sir. And thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] NESBIN: What's this? ABLIF: We found them, Nesbin. NESBIN: Found them? ABLIF: Thought they were game at first. Jasko nearly put a spear through them. NESBIN: Were they armed. ABLIF: This one was. It took all of us to get it off her. NESBIN: She is very strange. LEELA: Then don't touch me! NESBIN: Well, it speaks. LEELA: I am not an it. I am Leela. This is Rodan. Who are you and what do you want with us? NESBIN: I am Nesbin. LEELA: The leader? NESBIN: Yes. This is Presta. NESBIN: And this is Ablif. But what is more to the point, what do you want with us? RODAN: We don't want anything with you. PRESTA: It's a trick. They've come here to trap us. ABLIF: Yes, send them back to the city before they bring their guards on us. RODAN: No, we're escaping from the city. NESBIN: Well, then you do want something from us. RODAN: What? NESBIN: Protection. Help. You can't survive out here without. LEELA: I can survive anywhere. NESBIN: I believe that. What are you? LEELA: I am a warrior of the Sevateem. PRESTA: An alien! That's dangerous. Surely they'll come hunting for her? NESBIN: We'll consider that in a moment. Well, warrior, I don't doubt that you can survive, but what about your friend here? RODAN: What about me? NESBIN: Well, you're no alien. I doubt if you've ever set foot outside the Citadel in your life before, have you? RODAN: No. NESBIN: Well, out here it's different. You have to fend for yourself. RODAN: Fend? NESBIN: That's right. What are you going to eat, for instance? RODAN: I have some supplies. Look. NESBIN: They won't last long. When they've gone, what will you do? RODAN: I, I don't know. NESBIN: I thought not. You wouldn't even know what you could eat, would you? Have you ever eaten flesh or fruit? RODAN: No. NESBIN: And shelter. Do you understand the need for shelter? No, of course you don't. You wouldn't last three days out here. RODAN: I didn't realise. I'm so tired and cold. NESBIN: Better get her inside. PRESTA: Are we going to let them stay, then? NESBIN: We'll decide about that when we've heard their story. This one'll need rest and shelter before she can tell us anything. [SCENE_BREAK] BORUSA: How much have you told me? DOCTOR: Well, as much as I dare. BORUSA: Just so I know how much I am liable to give away. DOCTOR: You'll be all right. Do you think you can do it? BORUSA: Yes. DOCTOR: You're a brave man, Borusa. BORUSA: I am a Cardinal. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, well, this shielding'll make them suspicious if we stay out of sight too long. Let's go. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. KELNER: It is I who should apologise DOCTOR: I wasn't talking to you. Move over. Shall we start? Chancellor, these are our new masters. I order you to acknowledge their absolute authority. BORUSA: You have no authority under the Constitution to order the Chancellor to do anything. DOCTOR: The Constitution is suspended as of now. BORUSA: This is monstrous, President. DOCTOR: Yes, but it is so. Do it. BORUSA: Never. I will not submit to these creatures. I am a Time Lord, a DOCTOR: Don't destroy him. He might be useful to us. LEADER: You will be responsible for him. DOCTOR: Yes, of course. Yes, of course. DOCTOR: Get up, you stiff-necked old Chancellor. Get up. Castellan, have the Chancellor removed to his quarters. KELNER: Guards, escort the Chancellor to his rooms. Remain on guard. DOCTOR: And don't let anyone in or out. He's under house arrest. DOCTOR: You have to admire him. He has courage. LEADER: He is foolish. If he causes trouble, we shall destroy him, and you also. DOCTOR: I've kept my part of the bargain. What more do you want? LEADER: More? We haven't begun yet. When we are certain that we have complete dominance over your people, then we shall reveal our requirements to you. DOCTOR: And yourselves, I hope. I find it disconcerting talking to shimmering shapes. LEADER: The time is not right. First you must complete the arrangements for the subjugation of your people. DOCTOR: Naturally, naturally. Well, Castellan, the Chancellor doesn't seem too keen to help. How about you? KELNER: It is my duty, sir, to serve the President at all times. I will do whatever you wish. DOCTOR: I thought you would. You can start by making sure that no one organises any resistance. That's the last thing I want. KELNER: Of course, sir. Peaceful cooperation is a much more fruitful course. DOCTOR: Good. Listen, why don't you regard yourself as Acting Vice-President? KELNER: Oh, thank you, sir. DOCTOR: And you'd better make me a list of all Time Lords holding official positions, and let me know which ones you think are reliable. KELNER: Yes, of course, sir. And perhaps you'd like a list of all known trouble makers at the same time? DOCTOR: That's the stuff. Off you go. DOCTOR: I knew we could rely on him. Well, now that you're safely here, why don't you, er, make yourselves comfortable, hmm? KELNER: Is there anything else I can get for you, sir? DOCTOR: Yes. A jelly baby. My right hand pocket. KELNER: What colour would you prefer, sir? DOCTOR: Orange. KELNER: There doesn't appear to be an orange one. DOCTOR: One grows tired of jelly babies, Castellan. KELNER: Oh, indeed one does, sir. DOCTOR: One grows tired of almost everything, Castellan. KELNER: Indeed, sir. DOCTOR: Except power. KELNER: Yes. DOCTOR: Is the curfew effective? KELNER: No incidents have been reported, sir. DOCTOR: What a splendidly subservient Citadel you do run, Castellan. KELNER: You are too generous, sir. DOCTOR: Have you brought the list? KELNER: Sir. DOCTOR: So these Time Lords are the only potential rebels to our new regime, hmm? KELNER: Yes, sir. I have checked all the bio-data extracts personally. DOCTOR: You have? KELNER: Well, er, with one or two exceptions, such as your good self. DOCTOR: Hmm. I should thing so, too. Well, if these are the only threats to our new regime, we'd better do something about them. LEADER: Unreliable elements must be destroyed. DOCTOR: Oh, I hardly think so. They may be persuaded to see reason and some of them might be useful to us. LEADER: There is no choice. DOCTOR: Oh, but there is. KELNER: There is, sir? DOCTOR: Yes. Expulsion. LEADER: Expulsion? KELNER: Yes, that's an excellent idea, sir. DOCTOR: None of them can survive out there without help, and there's no help out there. KELNER: Oh yes, sir, that's an admirable detail. Once people realise that they'll liable to expulsion, they will quickly come to heel. LEADER: Very well, we approve. But leaders such as Chancellor Borusa shall be kept here in confinement. DOCTOR: Naturally. Well, see to it, Castellan. Oh, and Castellan, if I were you, I'd put them out one by one. KELNER: Yes, sir. I will start at once. DOCTOR: Good. DOCTOR: Well, that's a good morning's work, wouldn't you say? LEADER: Your progress so far has been quite satisfactory. DOCTOR: Isn't it time we shared a bit of trust? I mean, couldn't you materialise and have a jelly baby? LEADER: We are not ready yet. DOCTOR: Oh. LEADER: Your next task will be to dismantle the quantum force field around Gallifrey. DOCTOR: Dismantle it? That's not possible. LEADER: It has to be possible. DOCTOR: But if we tamper with that, the whole planet could be vaporised. LEADER: You will find a way. DOCTOR: I can't. LEADER: You will! [SCENE_BREAK] NESBIN: Gallifrey invaded? Nonsense. That's impossible. LEELA: How do you know? You're not a Time Lord. NESBIN: Oh, but we are, or rather, we were until we decided to drop out. LEELA: What is drop out? You fell? NESBIN: All that peace and eternal tranquillity. We decided to get back to nature out here. LEELA: Is this true? RODAN: Well, I've heard it rumoured, but it's a subject that's never mentioned. NESBIN: Well no, it wouldn't be. Might upset their cosy little world. LEELA: Then you like fighting. Good. NESBIN: Oh, now wait a minute, listen. LEELA: No, you listen to me, before it's too late. [SCENE_BREAK] KELNER: Your record shows, Gomer, that you are politically unreliable. GOMER: Unreliable? How dare you, Kelner. There's not a more loyal Time Lord in all Gallifrey. KELNER: Exactly. Loyal to the old ways. GOMER: What other ways are there? KELNER: You are considered to be dangerous, a threat to the new regime. GOMER: I consider that to be a compliment, Kelner. Thank you. I may be getting old, but if I had a weapon to use against these invaders, I'd KELNER: You'd use it. Yes. Yes, you would. I think we'd be a lot safer with you out of the way. GOMER: What are you going to do with me? KELNER: By order of the President, you are to be expelled from the Citadel. [SCENE_BREAK] GOMER: I'm sorry I can't go any faster. By the time you're my age, I'm in my tenth regeneration, you know ANDRED: Yes, sir, I know. I don't mind how slowly we go. GOMER: In my younger days I was considered to be lively enough. ANDRED: That's why you're being put out now. GOMER: Oh, yes, it would be. Kelner and his sort never let bygones be bygones. We never got on, never saw eye to eye. To tell you the truth, I can't stand the fellow. ANDRED: You're not alone in that. GOMER: Watch your step, young man, or you'll be following me out there. ANDRED: Oh, I don't think so. Some of us intend to do something about all this. It's all right, they're with me. GOMER: Are they indeed? ANDRED: There are plenty of us, more than Kelner and the President bargained for, and we're gaining strength every hour. GOMER: Good for you, young Andred. Good for you. Now, can I stay and help? ANDRED: Thank you, but I must put you out, sir. If I don't, Castellan Kelner will get suspicious. GOMER: Yes, I understand. ANDRED: But you may find help outside. GOMER: Help? Out there? ANDRED: Rodan and the alien girl Leela are already out there. Others are following. [SCENE_BREAK] NESBIN: But you can't even take care of yourselves! LEELA: Try me! NESBIN: When I'm not busy. ABLIF: Now that's the language I do understand. LEELA: Then we are agreed? We shall fight! [SCENE_BREAK] BODYGUARD: Where are we going, sir? DOCTOR: I'm not at liberty to say. [SCENE_BREAK] ANDRED: You came. Good. Now, listen to me. Before we can do anything against the invaders, we have to dispose of the President. I know it's against every law of the land, and it'll mean breaking my oath, but I believe he's forfeited the right to protection. He's a traitor who's brought these creatures in, and he must die. Are you with me? MAN 1: Yes. MAN 2: Yes. ANDRED: Right. We must get him away from his invader friends and away from Kelner's tame bodyguard, then we can strike. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: No, no, no. You stay here. BODYGUARD: But sir, I can't. I must stay with you. Castellan's orders. DOCTOR: Rescinded. BODYGUARD: Beg pardon, sir? DOCTOR: Do you know what this is? BODYGUARD: Yes, Excellence. DOCTOR: Will you disobey me? BODYGUARD: The Castellan will have me shot, sir. DOCTOR: Well, that's all right. I'll have him shot. You stay there. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: How's it going, K9? [SCENE_BREAK] ANDRED: Now, look. I'll go in first. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: K9? DOCTOR: K9, this is no time to be enjoying yourself, all right? K9: Absorption of data most satisfactory, master. DOCTOR: Good. Take this. I could try it myself, but they'd be sure to find out. DOCTOR: Come on, K9. Come on. Easy, easy, easy. Steady now. K9: Primary circuits locked in. DOCTOR: Good. K9: Commencing secondary feed. DOCTOR: Excellent. Ah, Andred. I've got something for you. A surprise. ANDRED: In the name of liberty and honour, I sentence you to death, traitor. DOCTOR: Oh, but.	Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who allows the Vardans to occupy Gallifrey? A: the wasteland; Q: Where do Leela and Rodan go to search for help? Summary: The Doctor allows the Vardans to occupy Gallifrey while Leela and Rodan head out into the wasteland to search for help.
CBI Jane makes a magic trick. Jane: Heads again. That's 18. Heads again. 19. And... Voila I believe that's the wager. Lisbon: Pay up. Rigsby: Okay. So what's the trick? Jane: Trick? Rigsby: Tell me what the trick is, and I will give you the money. Jane: The trick is... I have supernatural powers. Rigsby: It's a 2-headed coin right? Lisbon: Looks normal to me. Rigsby: You did something to the coin, right? Come on, man. I gave you 20 bucks. In the main room, a beautiful woman is waiting. Lisbon: Uh, can I help you? Elise: Am I in the way? Kimball said I could sit here. Lisbon: Kimball? Elise: I'm a friend of his Elise Chay. Lisbon: Elise, yes. Yeah, I'm Theresa Lisbon. Cho's talked about you. Elise: It's nice to meet you. You must be Rigsby. Rigsby: Oh, hey. Wayne. It's a pleasure. Elise: It is. I like putting faces to names. Um, I have to ask you- Patrick Jane-is- over here. Oh. Hi. Jane: Hi. Elise: I thought he'd look scarier. Lisbon: He's resting. Cho arrives. Cho: Hey. Elise: Hey. I was just meeting everybody. Rigsby: Yeah, we were just getting to the embarrassing questions. Cho: And that's why we're leaving. Our reservation's at 8:00. Elise: Well, it was nice meeting you all. Lisbon: Have a good night. Phone rings Cho: Let me just get this. Elise: Okay, I'll be by the elevator. Cho: All right. (phone) Cho. Detective: (phone) Uh, agent Kimball Cho? Cho: (phone) That's right. Detective: (phone) It's Detective Sharon Florey, Oakland homicide. I just caught a shooting on the east side. I'm hoping you can help me out with it. Cho: (phone) Uh, if you want CBI's assistance, Detective, you'll have to run it by the special agent in charge. Detective: (phone) No, I'm-I'm not asking for CBI, agent, just you. Cho: (phone) Me? Why? Detective: (phone) Well, we haven't I. D.'d the victim yet, but we got his phone. There were three calls to your number in the past few days. That bring a name to mind? Cho: (phone) What's the victim look like? Detective: (phone) Asian male, early 30s, prison tats. Uh, gangbanger, probably. Cho: (phone) What's the address? Detective: (phone) 1300 Summit Street, Oakland. Cho: (phone) All right. I'm on my way. Thanks. Jane: Duty calls? Cho: It's a homicide in Oakland. They want help with the I. D. Jane: You're gonna disappoint that lovely young lady waiting out by the elevator for a corpse? In Oakland? Cho: A job's a job. Jane: I'll come with you. Cho: No. I'll do this alone. The crime scene in a dark alley. Detective: Agent Cho. Detective Florey. Victim took three bullets in the back Wallet's missing, but I don't think it was a robbery. He still had his phone on him and some cash in his back pocket, also this- (a piece of paper with lots of numbers on it) mean anything to you? Cho: No. (He looks at the victim.) His name's David Seung, Got out six months ago after doing time at Folsom. He's a banger, member of the Avon Park Playboys. Jane: Avon Park Playboys? Cho: My old gang. Detective: You ran with the Playboys? Cho: Seung's only family is his grandmother, same last name. She lives on Telegraph Avenue. Detective: Know what he'd been up to since getting out? Cho: No idea. Haven't talked to him in 13 years. Detective: What about those calls? Cho: He left a couple messages, said he needed help. Jane: You didn't call him back and find out why? Cho: No. Anything else, Detective? Detective: We're good. Thanks for your help. Jane: Thank you. All right. What's the story? Cho: You heard the story. Jane: Why did he call you for help? Are you friends? Cho: We used to be best friends. He was like my brother. The Mentalist 2x14 The next day at CBI HQ, Rigsby is still puzzled by the coin flip trick. Cho: Morning. Rigsby: Does that look funny to you? Like, thicker? Cho: Why? Rigsby: I'm thinking Jane weighted it on one side so that it always lands heads. Except when I flip it, It doesn't always land heads. It comes up tails half the time. Maybe there's a technique of tossing it. Cho: You're not getting enough sx from Van Pelt. Rigsby: Hey. Shh. We don't talk about that. David's grandmother comes to see Cho. Mrs. Seung: Kimball. Cho: Mrs. Seung. Mrs. Seung: It's so good to see you after all these years. Cho: What can I do for you? Mrs. Seung: You never visited him in prison, did you? Cho: No. Mrs. Seung: 12 years is a long time. I told David about you, when you joined the army, when you became a police officer. He always looked up to you. You'll be working to find who killed him, won't you? Cho: No, ma'am. The case belongs to the Oakland police. They'll find whoever did this. Mrs. Seung: That Detective woman- She thinks David got killed because he was in the gang. That's not true. Cho: It does look like that's what happened. Mrs. Seung: No. He left the gang. He had a job. Cho: Just because he told you he left the gang doesn't mean he did. Mrs. Seung: He wouldn't lie to me. Cho: Mrs. Seung, when I knew David, I heard him lie to you many times, about what he was doing, who he was with. The Oakland police will handle it, okay? Mrs. Seung: Please, Kimball. Won't you help? Cho: I'm sorry, Mrs. Seung. There's nothing I can do. Rigsby: So he was a friend of yours? Cho: It was a guy I used to know. Rigsby: Look, we'll cover for you if you want to take comp time to look into it. Van Pelt: Absolutely. Boss won't mind. Cho: I'm not getting involved. Van Pelt: But he was your friend. Cho: He was a gangbanger, Van Pelt. Bangers get shot. All right, he's not the first guy I used to know to get shot. He won't be the last. Jane: That's funny. Grandma out there seemed pretty certain he was no longer a gang member. Cho: She's wrong. Jane: She seemed pretty sharp. Maybe he got shot 'cause he was trying to leave the gang. That happens, doesn't it? Cho: Whatever. Oakland's got it. Jane: How much time is Oakland P. D. Gonna spend on a gangbanger? Cho: Not much. What's your point? Jane: Well, there must be someone that can tell us that he was or wasn't a member of the gang. I mean, just for kicks. Cho: No. Jane: Okay, then, uh, Just to... Soothe your troubled conscience. Jane and Cho head to his old neighborhood. Jane: So the mean streets, huh? Cho: Yep. Jane: Your old stomping ground. Cho: You could say that. Stole a car over there when I was 14. Jane: Yeah? Cho: Crashed it over there. Jane: Mm. Cho: Don't wander. Jane: No worries. They go into a pawn shop. Dawg: we're closed. Cho: Jon Jon. Jon Jon: Cho. Is that you for real? Cho: Yeah. Jon Jon: Man, I heard you was a cop. I said, no way. Dawg, this is Kimball Cho. Dawg: Yeah, I see him. Jon Jon: He's a Playboy from way back. Called him the "ice man." Jane: No. Jon Jon: Yeah, you wanted something done cold, you got Cho. Jane: Well, it's still the same. Jon Jon: Who are you? Jane: Uh. Patrick Jane. Nice to meet you. Great store. Uh, some kind of drug dealership is it, yeah? Dawg: Nah. Jane: You know, I read somewhere that- And this is very interesting- the average drug dealer would make a better wage serving burgers. Is that accurate, do you think? Jon Jon: There's chumps and there's players in any game, bro. Jane: I guess. Cho: Hey. You hear about David Seung? Jon Jon: Oh. Yeah. Cho: Any idea who killed him? Jon Jon: No. Cho: Was he rolling with you guys again? Is that what got him in trouble? Jon Jon: Why would I tell you anything? Cho: I just want to confirm it's a gang beef, and I'll leave it alone. Jon Jon: When David got out of prison, we asked him to put in some work, get him back in the groove, you know? He said no. He was quitting. He quit. Then about a month ago, he calls and he's all, "I need to talk to K. S. Direct, " like he had some kind of deal. So he's working with K. S. and not the gang? That's wrong. That's disrespect. You're in or you're out. Ain't no halfway. Right, ice man? Cho: What kind of deal? Jon Jon: Don't know. I do know K. S. Is seriously mad at you for what you did. Cho: Well, he should learn to let go. Thanks for your help. Jane: Oh, Jon Jon, um, these numbers mean anything to you? Jon Jon: no. Jane: You certain? Jon Jon: Yeah. Jane: You're absolutely certain? Jon Jon: What's with this guy? Jane: All right, we're going. You know, your obsession with eating is an infantile attempt of coping with the persistent anxiety you feel. Now if I may recommend something? A career change. It'll be very good for you. In the street Jane: Don't take this the wrong way, but, uh, who came up with "Avon Park Playboys"? I mean, it's not very tough. Cho: Yeah, that's funny. Let's go back to Sacramento. Jane: Ice man-um, I know where it comes from, but I just... just tell me you didn't come up with that, 'cause it's, uh, you can do better than the "ice man." (phone) Rigsby, what you got? Rigsby (phone): When David Seung got out of prison, he went to work for a janitorial services company based in Oakland. Jane: Rigsby found where David worked. Cho: Lisbon know he did that? Jane (phone): Got an address? Rigsby (phone): I'm working on it. It's just... Jane (phone): What about Seung's girlfriend? Rigsby (phone): Gimme a hint on the coin trick. Jane (phone): Occam's razor. Rigsby (phone): What razor? Jane: (phone) Bye. Let's go pay a visit to David's old boss. Cho: What's the point? He was a banger. Jane: So he had it coming? Cho: Yes. Jane: Let's go and see his boss, get a second opinion. And who's this "K. S., " by the way? Cho: He's a gang leader, bad guy. Jane: What'd you do to make him mad? Cho: I shot him. Jane: That'll do it. Jane and Cho talk to the janitorial boss. Boss: Yeah, I saw David last night. I was dropping off payroll when he was starting his shift. Cho: Did David ever mention anything about the Avon Park Playboys? Boss: His P. O. got him the interview. I knew about his past. Jane: Why'd you hire him? Boss: I don't mind hiring ex-cons. They just need a second chance. When they get one, they appreciate it. They're loyal. It keeps turnover down. Reed: Hey, you. Boss: Frank. Can I help you with something, Mr. Reed? Reed: Yeah, do your job. The third floor men's room's a disaster. Whole floor's starting to stink. Jane: Middle management. Reed: Excuse me? Jane: You catch more flies with honey- It's a sound business principle, obviously, one you never learned. Hence, uh, middle management. Have a nice day. He's gone. Boss: I started this business thinking it'd be nice not to have a boss. Truth is, I have dozens. Jane: Do you know what these mean? Boss: I have no idea. Jane: No idea at all? Boss: Uh... No. I-I don't know what else to tell you guys. Jane: No need. Cho: Thanks for your time. Boss: No problem. Good luck. CBI HQ Lisbon: Hey, guys. I got a call from Detective Florey with Oakland homicide. Did we decide to take over the David Seung case and nobody bothered to tell me? Because she's hearing from witnesses that you've talked to. Jane: Oh, uh, we're just, uh. Pursuing a little independent investigation. Lisbon: We don't do those. Cho: That's my bad. I was checking to see if David was still with the Playboys. Lisbon: Ballistics connected the gun used to kill him with another gang shooting a year ago It was the . Jane: Great. Maybe we should go see this K. S. Character, huh? Or not. Elise's apartment Elise: So I told the professor that the evidentiary issues were secondary to the procedural question, and she looked at me and said, "hey, your hair's on fire." Hello? Cho: Sorry. I heard that. Elise: Hearing isn't the same as listening. Are you okay? Cho: Yeah. I'm fine. Elise: Kimball, you're talking even less than you normally do. What's on your mind? Cho: Nothing. Elise: Which means something, but you just don't want to talk about it, right? Cho: Right. Elise: Well... We don't have to talk. Cho: Thanks. They're starting to kiss on the couch when two masked men bust down the door. Man: On the floor! Cho: Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy! Man: Shut it! Man: Hey! Get down! Face down! Cho: Hey, you stay away from her! Man: Stay out of Playboy business! Help has arrived. Doctor: She's got some pretty bad bruising and lacerations, but she'll be okay. Cho: You'll be fine. Just hang in there. Elise: It hurts to talk. Are you okay? Cho: Yeah. Elise: Are you coming with me? Cho: I have some things to take care of first, okay? And then I'll come see you. Lisbon: We're taking over this case. We'll liaise with the Oakland P. D., but we're in charge. I'll look into suspects with the Playboys. Rigsby and Van Pelt will go and talk to the people at Seung's work. He was shot two blocks away from work. Maybe somebody saw something. Cho? Cho? Cho gets in his car and finds Jane in the passenger seat. Jane: Where we going? Cho's car Jane: Why did you shoot K. S.? I mean, it's a gang. There's gotta be some kind of rules against that sort of thing. Cho: K. S. Wanted to do a home invasion. You go in, hold the family hostage and take all their cash. I wouldn't do it. K. S. wanted me on the job. We argued. He pulled his gun. I pulled mine faster, tagged him in the shoulder. Jane: Ouch. Cho: That's when I left the gang. Gave my gun to David. A couple of days later he boosted a car. They pulled him over, found the gun on him. With the possession charge, he got 15 years. Jane: And you felt responsible because it was your gun. Cho: No, I thought he was stupid to have it on him. Never should have done that. Jane: And then you joined the army? Cho: Enlisted two weeks later. I wanted to get as far away as I could. Told myself I'd never go back. Jane: Okay. Pawn shop Jane: Hey. How's business? Dawg: Jon Jon's gone. You want to talk, you go find him. Cho: Not looking for Jon Jon. Where's K. S.? Dawg: Where's K. S.? Jane: Uh, yeah, simple enough question, I thought. Dawg: Wh-were you serious? Cho: I need to talk to him. Where can I find him? Dawg: I don't talk to cops. Cho: I'm not a cop tonight. No badge. Now where is he? I'm not leaving until I get an answer from you. now I'm gonna ask you one more time where K. S. Is. You don't tell me, I'm gonna break your arm. You understand me? Dawg: Screw you, man. Jane: Let's just reconsider- Cho: shut up! Where's K. S.? I can do this all day. Where's K. S.?! Dawg: Aah! Okay. Okay, man. You're gonna break my arm. All right. CBI HQ Lisbon: Have either of you heard from Jane or Cho? I can't get them on the phone, and they won't return my messages. Rigsby: I don't know. Cho hasn't been to the hospital. I checked. Lisbon: Damn. Van Pelt: Boss, I went over the list of people working with David Seung the night he was killed. Four of them are working at the same job site today- a financial firm called Cedar Creek Equities. Lisbon: That's the place where Jane and Cho went to, right? Rigsby: Yeah. Lisbon: Go and talk to whoever's in charge. Set up interviews with anyone who worked with David Seung. And if you hear from either of them, call me. [SCENE_BREAK] Cedar Creek Equities Van Pelt: What did he call it? Rigsby: Occam's razor. Van Pelt: What is it? Rigsby: I have to look it up. It's some logic thing. Basically it says you should avoid complexity when solving problems. Van Pelt: What does that have to do with flipping heads 20 times? Rigsby: I have no idea. Van Pelt: Hi. I'm agent Van Pelt. This is agent Rigsby. We're from CBI. Secretary: What, did something happen? Van Pelt: No. But we need to speak with the director of operations, Adam Reed. Is he in? Secretary: Not right now. Um, would you like to leave a message? Rigsby: We need to talk to him as soon as possible. Is he in the building? Secretary: Sure. Um, but he could be anywhere, and I don't know when he'll be back. Rigsby: Then maybe you could call him and ask him to come back? Secretary: Right. I guess I could do that. Van Pelt: Bad cold? Secretary: Hmm? oh, it's allergies. I, you know, they drive me crazy. K. S.'s house Jane: That's K. S.'s house? Cho: I'm going in. You stay here. Don't move. Jane: I'm not going anywhere. Cedar Creek Equities Rigsby: We're looking into the murder of one of your employees, David Seung. Reed: Yeah. That was shocking. I saw him around the office occasionally, and we didn't have any real interaction. I don't, uh, hang out in the men's room checking out the paper products, so... Van Pelt: You ever see any arguments between Seung and coworkers? Reed: Not with staff. Cleaning crew? I don't know. You'd have to ask them. Rigsby: And where could we find them? Reed: Downstairs. But, uh, my girl Crystal can help you out with that one. Crystal! Crystal: Yes, Mr. Reed? Reed: Yeah, could you please take these agents downstairs and let 'em talk to all the janitors? Crystal: sure. Reed: And on your way back up, could you please get me a decent cup of coffee? Crystal: Yes, sir. Reed: Thank you. Rigsby: Thanks for your time. Reed: You bet. Van Pelt: Thanks. K. S.'s house Man: What are you doing? hey, you gonna shoot that? Cho: Nobody move. Hands where I can see them. K. S.: Cho. Cho: K. S. It's been a while. K. S.: What are you doing here, man? Cho: We need to talk. K. S.: Got nothing to say to you. Cho: I'm not asking you. In there. Move. Move. Go on. Go on. (Cho pulls K. S. into the kitchen)I'll shoot anyone who comes through that door. K. S.: What is this? Cho: Did you kill David Seung? K. S.: Who? aah! Good to see you, too, bro. Haven't changed much. Cho: Someone came to my house, hurt my girlfriend, told me to stay out of Playboy business. K. S.: That's good advice. Cho: You still mad I shot you, huh? K. S.: Not mad. Determined. Cho: I'll shoot you again if you want. Just keep talking without telling me what I want to know. K. S.: You're not going to shoot me. Cho: Try me. K. S.: You're a cop. You'll do what the man says. Cho: I'll do what needs to be done. You know that. K. S.: I didn't put the beat down on your girlfriend. I didn't kill David. Okay? David came to me a month ago, wanted to buy some coke, 5 large. I hooked him up. That's all I did with him. Cho: What were you arguing about? K. S.: That much weight wasn't just for him. I figured he was selling. Cho: You told him to cut you in. K. S.: Yeah. But he wasn't down for that, said it was a onetime thing and no more. Cho: You're lying. I'm taking you in. Get up. K. S.: Not going to a good place, Cho. Cho: Shut up. Get the door. Move. The living room, K. S.'s guys have Jane at gunpoint. Jane: Hi. You must be K. S. Very nice to meet you. Man: Let him go. Cho: Put your gun down, and I'll let him go. Man: No way. You. K. S.: What's it gonna be, Cho? It's on you. Jane: Well, let's just take a breath, think about what we want. You don't really want to shoot me. Man: No? Jane: No My friend and I are cops. No matter how crazy and tough you are, everyone knows what happens when you kill a cop. If you're lucky, you spend the rest of your life in prison. If you're lucky. Cho. You don't want to shoot K. S. You do, you'll never find out if he killed David. You'll destroy your career so let's just embrace this moment and think... About what we want... And just relax. Just... Loosen up and relax. Oh, yeah. That feels so much better. K. S.: Get out. Now. Jane: Thank you Uh, actually, I- whoa. Whoa. It's okay. Just... Don't shoot. Just a plastic bag. Nothing to it. These numbers- they mean anything to you? K. S.: You are one strange freak, man. Jane: Okay. Well, I'll take that as a no. Bar Cho: We should arrest K. S. And bring him in. There's plenty to hold him on. Jane: Ah, he'd come in surrounded by lawyers. It's not his first time in an interrogation room. Besides, I think he's clean for this. Cho: Clean? How? Jane: Well, he told you that he sold the drugs to David. Wh-why would he do that? Why would he kill him? What's the motive? They are joined by Rigsby. Rigsby: Hey. Wow, that looks good. Jane: Lighter than air. Mmm. Cho: Why'd you call him? Jane: Oh, um, you're an unreliable partner. I nearly got shot. Cho: Look, if David was selling, he was using. If he was using, he could have screwed up with K. S. A thousand ways. Rigsby: Seung wasn't using. His tox screen came back clean. Just got the report. No drugs. Jane: See? Cho: Well, then K. S. Killed him for another reason. Jane: Too complicated. Occam's razor says the simplest solution to a problem is usually the correct one. Right? Rigsby: Right. Jane: Right. So if I flip a coin, and I get heads 20 times in a row, yes, I could have rigged the coin. But if the simple answer is the right one... Two coins. A 2-headed version to flip... And a real coin to show you, my friend. Rigsby: I knew it. Cho: What's that got to do with David? Jane: David bought $5,000 worth of cocaine. He didn't sell and he wasn't using. Think simple. Who got the drugs? Cedar Creek Equities The secretary stepping into the ladies room for a midday snort. Van Pelt: Hi, Crystal. What you got there? CBI Lisbon: Where did you get the drugs. Crystal, this is a homicide investigation. Give us a name. Was it David Seung? Crystal: Yes. Yes, it was David Seung. He gave me the drugs. Lisbon: No. No, you jumped at that a little too eagerly. It's not a good idea to lie to us, Crystal. Crystal: I can't tell. He'll hurt me. Van Pelt: Okay. Has he hurt you before now? Lisbon: How? Crystal: Um... He likes to get high and beat me and then have sx. Van Pelt: Crystal, that's sexual assault. Lisbon: He somebody you work with? Van Pelt: Crystal, if you tell us his name, he won't hurt you again. Crystal: Adam Reed. Van Pelt: Okay. And did Adam get the drugs from David Seung? Crystal: Yeah. Yes. Lisbon: How? Crystal: Adam caught David stealing a laptop, and he knew that David had gang connections, so he figured he would know people who had access to good coke. Adam told David he would turn him in unless he got us the drugs. Lisbon: Adam Reed blackmailed David into giving him the drugs? Crystal: Yes. Van Pelt: Thank you, Crystal. Jane arrives. Jane: That was lovely. Thank you, Crystal. Do you know what these mean? Crystal: Uh... I-where did- how'd you get those? Cedar Creek Equities Reed is doing lines with a woman in a conference room one for me. Reed: One for you. Two for me... Cho: Oh. lady, if you don't want to go to jail, leave now. Reed: What's going on, fellas? What the hell is this? 'cause first of all, that's not mine. She brought that in here. It has nothing to do with me. Rigsby: Let me see your hands. Come on. Let's go. I don't care about that. Sit down. Jane: Oh, you're a true renaissance man, aren't you? Businessman, drug dealer, blackmailer, s*x abuser. Reed: You talkin' to Crystal? Jane: Huh? Reed: The crazy cokehead?You can't believe a word she says. Cho: Ow! Don't mess with us. Reed: Okay. Jane: Then there's the shooting of David Seung. Reed: I had nothing to do with that. Jane: We think you did. You know what these are? 'cause I do. These are passwords to financial accounts of some of the firm's wealthiest clients. David Seung was stealing these when he was killed. The drug buy- that was just a warm-up. This is what you really wanted him to do, wasn't it? You wanted him to steal these account numbers so that you could sell them. But something went wrong, and you shot him, didn't you? Reed: You people are insane. I had nothing to do with that! Cho: You did. Then you broke into my house and you beat on my girlfriend and threw the blame on K. S. and the Playboys, right? Reed: No. I didn't-ow! Cho: where's the gun, Adam? Reed: what gun? I don't- Man, I want my lawyer right now! Rigsby: hey, Cho! Cho: Where's the gun, Adam? Reed: What gun? Aah! Cho: The gun you used to kill David. Reed: That's crazy. Man, I want my lawyer right now. Rigsby: Hey, Cho, you gotta take it down a notch. We can take him back to the office, okay? Cho: We need him to confess. He has to tell us where the gun is. If we don't have the gun, he's gonna walk. Jane: We'll get there. Rigsby: Cho, it'll be fine. Cho: Now you got cuts and bruises on your knuckles. You get those when you hit somebody. You went to my girlfriend's apartment. You punched her in the face until she bled. And you killed my friend David. Admit it. Reed: That's from something else. Cho: Admit it! Reed: I did! I-I bought drugs from David Seung. I-I admit that. So? The rest of this-I don't know what you're talking about. Cho: Last chance. You killed David and you hid the gun. Where? Reed: I don't know. Cho: Too bad. Cho marches him out of the conference room, blocking Jane and Rigsby inside. Reed: aah! where are we going? Where are we gonna go? Cho: Shut up. Reed: hey! Hey! Where are you taking me? Rigsby: Cho! Open up! Jane: Cho! Open up! Cho! Rigsby: Cho, come on! Cho Come on, man. Open the door! Jane: Hello?! hello?! Hey! Open the door! Cho! David's janitor boss Frank arrives. Jane: Hey! Hey! Somebody! Hey! Hey! Open up. Come on. Open it up! Out in the hallway Frank hears them. Rigsby: Hi. Jane: Thank you. Thank you. Do you know which way they went? Boss: They went that way. Jane: Left or right? Boss: Left. Yeah, that way. Jane: Thank you! Outside in the parking lot Cho: You should use this as a learning experience. Reed: what? No. Please don't. Please! Cho knocks Reed to the ground and pulls out a gun. He looks around and from inside we hear gun shots. Cho! Jane: Ohh. Rigsby: Hey! Come on! Jane: Quick! Key! You got a key? Quick. Go. Frank follows Jane and Rigsby, unlocking doors for them. Rigsby: Oh, crap! Outside they find Cho standing over Reed, who has blood all over his shirt. Rigsby: Oh, hell. Cho! Jane: Is he dead? Cho: Yes. He wouldn't talk. Jane: Oh, no. This is not good, Cho. You're out of control. Cho: He made me mad. And you-you stay right where you are. Rigsby, put the body in the car. Oh. Rigsby, put the body in the car! Rigsby: Right. Yeah. F-fine. Frank: I-listen. I won't tell anybody about this. Cho: Be quiet! I'm thinking! Jane: Oh, what's to think about? He didn't confess. If he was guilty, he would have talked. Cho: I guess. Jane: What do you think, Frank? Frank: I don't-I don't know anything about it. Jane: Really? Well, that's odd, 'cause... I think you lied about knowing these numbers. Frank: No, you're-you're wrong. Jane: All those days cleaning the bathroom, picking up the trash... It must feel pretty good getting rich off their accounts. Frank: I didn't do that. Cho: What's with the gloves, Frank? Frank: They're work gloves. Cho: You're not working now. Take them off. Go on. Is there some reason you won't take them off? Frank: No. Cho: Maybe you got some cuts and bruises on them. Jane: S-slow down. This doesn't have to end the same way. Frank, just tell us. Tell us the truth. Frank: I don't know what you're talking about. Jane: You shot David Seung. Frank: No, I didn't! Jane: You said you were dropping off the payroll the night that he was killed. You lied to us. You saw what happened to him. I am trying to help you here. Cho: Show me your hands. Frank: No. Cho: So Jane's right. It was you. Frank: No! Cho: Oh, Frank. Frank, don't make me kill you, too. Now you tell me the truth. You tell me the truth, and I won't hurt you. (Cho points the gun at him.) Frank: I-I-I-I'm not... Stop! Aah! Stop! I confess! I killed David! Don't let him shoot me! Please. Please. Jane: Tell the truth. Cho: He'll deny it later. Frank: No! No! I-I-I-I broke into your girlfriend's apartment! I cuffed you! I made you watch! Look. See? See my hands? Cho: Where's the gun? Frank: In the storm drain out front. Jane: It's okay. I believe him. I believe him. Rigsby. Rigsby: Wait. Rigsby brings a very much alive Adam Reed from the truck. Frank: You-you killed him. Jane: ah, nope. Cho, he's confessed. You won. You won. You don't have to hurt him You don't have to hurt him. Cho: You're right. Jane: It's okay. CBI HQ Lisbon: We found the gun. Ballistics are a match. Jane: You didn't hire David to give him a second chance. You hired him to steal for you. He was lifting laptops and data. All you had to do was threaten to violate his parole. Lisbon: Why kill him? He was stealing for you. Frank: He said he was gonna quit. He didn't want any of it. Said he just wanted to live his life. I thought he was gonna tell the cops. Cho: The other gunman that was with you when you broke in on me- Who is he? Frank: Tony Wade. He works for me. Lisbon: We're done here. Jane: Okay. Lisbon: Come on. Cho: Mr. Reed, I apologize for accusing you of several crimes I knew you had not committed and for assaulting you repeatedly. Reed: That's it? Jane: Yes, that's it. I thought that was very good. Lawyer: It's incredible. Absolutely incredible. This case won't last 30 seconds in a court. The lawsuits, however, will last for a very long time. Come on, Adam. Let's get out of here. Agent Cho, you've made my client a rich man. Lisbon: One more thing. Lawyer: What's that? Lisbon: We have testimony from Crystal Hargrave that will lead to Mr. Reed being charged with several felonies. They include narcotics trafficking, extortion, sexual harassment- Lawyer: Never be admitted. Fruit of the poisonous tree. Lisbon: Not even from the same forest. Our d. A. is willing to talk a deal with Mr. Reed in the interest of mending fences, if he's interested in mending fences with us. Lawyer: We'll speak to the d. A. Lisbon: Good. Back home, Cho checks on his girlfriend. Then he goes to see David Seung's grandmother. Cho: Mrs. Seung. May I come in? Thank you. When I heard David had been killed, I assumed it was because of the mistakes he made, because he hadn't changed his ways. Mrs. Seung: Yes? Cho: I was wrong. You were right. David had changed. David called me... To ask for my help. But I never called him back. When I learned he'd been killed, I didn't want to admit that maybe he'd turned his life around, because that would mean admitting that I let him down.	Plan: A: Cho; Q: Who helps the police with an investigation into the murder of David Seung? A: a member; Q: What was David Seung's relationship to the Avon Park Playboys? A: the Avon Park Playboys; Q: What was the name of Cho's former gang? A: Cho's best friend; Q: What was David Seung's relationship to Cho? A: Jane; Q: Who insists on helping Cho with his investigation? Summary: Cho helps the police with an investigation into the murder of David Seung, a member of Cho's former gang, the Avon Park Playboys, who also used to be Cho's best friend when both in the gang during Cho's early days. Jane insists on helping Cho with his off-the-books investigation, and so tags along.
THE WEB OF FEAR by MERVYN HAISMAN and HENRY LINCOLN first broadcast - February 3rd 1968 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. TARDIS CONSOLE ROOM (As the TARDIS takes off with the doors still open, Salamander is flung out of the craft. The DOCTOR and VICTORIA cling to the base of the console, while JAMIE grabs onto a roundel in one of the control room walls.) DOCTOR: Jamie! Jamie! The doors... we've got to close the doors! Can you do it? JAMIE: I... I'll try, Doctor, but I'll have to get to a better position... (JAMIE inches his way around the walls, while the other two cling on precariously.) DOCTOR: That's it, Victoria... Hold on, whatever you do, hold on! VICTORIA: I'm slipping! DOCTOR: No, no you're not - I've got hold of you... Don't look out there, concentrate on holding on! VICTORIA: I can't! DOCTOR: Yes you can, that's the style. JAMIE: Right, Doctor, I'm going to try and fall to the control panel. DOCTOR: Alright, but watch the TARDIS doesn't jump again! (JAMIE staggers to the console.) JAMIE: Made it - so far, so good. DOCTOR: You know the switch? JAMIE: Aye, I've found it... (JAMIE reaches for a lever.) JAMIE: I'm nearly... there... (As the DOCTOR and VICTORIA begin to lose their grip, JAMIE pulls the lever and the doors close.) DOCTOR: They're closing! Oh well done Jamie, you did it! (The DOCTOR stands up.) DOCTOR: That was a near thing, wasn't it? Are you alright, Victoria? VICTORIA: Oh, what happened? Are we safe now? DOCTOR: Oh yes, I think so. Salamander started the TARDIS without first closing the doors. He was sucked out! JAMIE: Aye, and I nearly joined him! DOCTOR: Well, I'm very glad you didn't... he's not in a very enviable position, you know, at the moment, floating around in time and space. (Playfully.) Now then, where shall we go? JAMIE: Oh, let's just get our breath back first before we start tearing off anywhere. Anyway, as you know the TARDIS has a mind of its own. You know you can't control it. DOCTOR: Can't control it? JAMIE: No. DOCTOR: We'll see about that... we'll see about that... (He operates the central console, and the Time Rotor starts its up and down movement.) VICTORIA: Here we go again! JAMIE: I wonder where it'll be this time. DOCTOR: Yes, I wonder! [SCENE_BREAK] 2. INTERIOR MUSEUM (A dim, candle-lit museum, in which the main exhibit is a lifeless robot YETI. PROFESSOR TRAVERS stands looking at it; he is now much older than when we saw him in Tibet, probably in his mid-sixties. The voices of a young woman and a Jewish man can be heard from the next room.) ANNE: (OOV.) Mr. Silverstein? SILVERSTEIN: (OOV.) Yes, who are you? ANNE: (OOV.) Anne Travers. Is my father here? SILVERSTEIN: (OOV.) Yes, he's here... (SILVERSTEIN opens the door and enters the room, followed by ANNE.) SILVERSTEIN: Come and see him, and take him away! He's a fool, an old fool! ANNE: Father? Father. TRAVERS: Anne, what are you doing here? ANNE: Looking for you. You're supposed to be meeting me! TRAVERS: Was I? ANNE: At the airport. Father, what is the matter? You sent me a cable saying you're in grave trouble, and I have flown half way around the world... TRAVERS: Trouble! Yes, a great deal of trouble. And it's that thing! (TRAVERS points at the YETI.) ANNE: The Yeti? TRAVERS: Mmm... you're a stupid old fool, Julius Silverstein! SILVERSTEIN: Oh, me the fool? You would like me to be the fool and give you back my Yeti, huh? TRAVERS: Well you must man, don't you understand? It's dangerous! SILVERSTEIN: Huh! For 30 years it stands here in my museum, and now he tells me it is dangerous! TRAVERS: I wish I'd never brought it back from Tibet. ANNE: Father, what has happened? TRAVERS: Well he won't listen to me, the silly old goat won't listen to me! I've told him, warned him! Dammit, he knows it's a robot! ANNE: But father, the Yeti isn't dangerous - it can't work unless it has a control unit. TRAVERS: But I've done it, Anne! I have reactivated a control unit. ANNE: Father, this is wonderful news! TRAVERS: Is it? Yes, I suppose it would be, except for one thing... ANNE: What? TRAVERS: The sphere - it's gone! Disappeared! Look, you must let me have the Yeti back, Julius - oh make him understand, Anne! SILVERSTEIN: Oh, I understand - I buy the Yeti off you thirty years ago, and now it is valuable. You try to scare me, take your Yeti back. Why? Money! You want to rob me. TRAVERS: Alright then, I'll buy the thing back if that's what you want! SILVERSTEIN: No, no, it's priceless. The only one in the world - and it is mine. TRAVERS: You fool! SILVERSTEIN: Thief! TRAVERS: I'm not a thief. SILVERSTEIN: Swindler! TRAVERS: Stubborn old goat! ANNE: Father! SILVERSTEIN: Take him away - out of the house! ANNE: Father, look, perhaps you've made a mistake. You put the sphere away somewhere in your laboratory and forgotten it. You've done it before, you know. TRAVERS: No, I've looked everywhere. ANNE: Well let's go home and look again, shall we? You know what you're like. TRAVERS: But suppose... ANNE: Let's go and have a quiet dinner and you can tell me all about it. Then we'll go home and we'll look for the sphere. TRAVERS: Alright - but I warned you, Julius, I warned you! SILVERSTEIN: Get out! Take him away! Nobody destroys Julius Silverstein's collection, nobody! ANNE: Come on, father! SILVERSTEIN: The Yeti's mine. You can't scare me with your mad stories. Go on, out, out! (As he ushers them out, a small bleeping silver sphere hovers unnoticed outside the window - a Yeti control sphere. It drops from sight as SILVERSTEIN returns and blows out the candles. As SILVERSTEIN's back is turned, it propels itself through the window towards the YETI. SILVERSTEIN looks around anxiously.) SILVERSTEIN: Travers, is that you? I am not frightened by your stupid tricks. Travers? I know it's you, I'm not a fool! (The YETI's eyes glow as it comes to life. SILVERSTEIN turns in horror to see the creature towering above him; its giant arm strikes down as he screams in terror...) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. TARDIS CONSOLE ROOM (The DOCTOR and JAMIE are standing near the central console. The DOCTOR is eating from a plate of sandwiches, while JAMIE is looking at an indicator on the console.) JAMIE: I tell you it did, it was flashing! DOCTOR: Now Jamie, if that light had come on, we'd have landed, wouldn't we? JAMIE: I'm not arguing about that. DOCTOR: But we're still travelling, aren't we? So how could it have done? JAMIE: Look, I don't know. All I know is - that thing came on. Now I'm not taken to seeing things - at least I don't think I am. (VICTORIA enters in a new dress.) VICTORIA: Hey, do you like it? DOCTOR: What? VICTORIA: I found it in the chest. I think it looks very sophisticated, don't you? DOCTOR: Oh yes, very sophisticated, Victoria. (Nudges JAMIE.) Go on, Jamie, don't you? JAMIE: Aye - now look, I'm not daft you know, Doctor. VICTORIA: Doctor? DOCTOR: What? VICTORIA: Why is that light flashing? JAMIE: Aha! DOCTOR: I see - are you two playing some sort of game? (The DOCTOR moves around the console and sees a small indicator flashing.) JAMIE: There you are - told you so! DOCTOR: Well, then we are landing, aren't we? (The groaning noise of the TARDIS materialisation is heard.) VICTORIA: Let's hope it's somewhere pleasant. JAMIE: Hey, it might even be Scotland. DOCTOR: Shush! The scanner, that will tell us. (Operates scanner, which shows only a formation of stars.) VICTORIA: Where are we? JAMIE: Nothing but stars - what's it mean? DOCTOR: I don't know - something strange has happened. We're suspended in space... [SCENE_BREAK] 4. EXTERIOR TARDIS (The TARDIS is slowly enveloped by a white, web-like substance. As it spreads, the flashing light on the roof is slowly obscured.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5. INTERIOR TARDIS (The three travellers are checking the instruments.) DOCTOR: Gravity? JAMIE: On. DOCTOR: Power? VICTORIA: On. DOCTOR: Control? JAMIE: Yeah - on. DOCTOR: Flight? VICTORIA: That's on too. DOCTOR: There you are, you see. I was right, it is all working. JAMIE: You mean we've landed, yet we haven't landed? VICTORIA: (Gasping.) Doctor! DOCTOR: Just a minute, Victoria - if the time lock has slipped... VICTORIA: Doctor, look at the scanner! (They all look as the view from the scanner is slowly obscured by a mass of pulsating, white web-like substance.) JAMIE: What is that stuff, Doctor? DOCTOR: I don't know... but something or someone is holding us here... [SCENE_BREAK] 6. "THE FORTRESS", COMMUNICATIONS ROOM (CORPORAL LANE, a middle-aged soldier dressed in full battle-gear, is sitting at a radio desk in the corner of the room, talking into a telephone receiver.) LANE: Hello, hello?... Hello? (Another soldier, also in the uniform of a CORPORAL, enters the room.) CORPORAL: Do you know where the Captain is? LANE: Yeah, he's upstairs, being chatted up by that TV bloke. [SCENE_BREAK] 7. "THE FORTRESS", UPSTAIRS ROOM (Two men sit at a desk. HAROLD CHORLEY is dressed in civilian clothes, and is holding a small tape recorder under the nose of CAPTAIN KNIGHT, a dark-haired officer in his mid-thirties.) CHORLEY: (Speaking into tape recorder.) And finally, Captain Knight, could you tell us your own feelings about Colonel Pemberton? KNIGHT: Well, he was certainly a brave soldier, no doubt about that - he gave his life for his country, and I was proud to serve under him. (Looks up.) Is that alright? CHORLEY: Oh, super, sterling stuff! You talk in pure quotes, old boy. KNIGHT: Not just quotes, Mr Chorley. I meant what I said. (The door opens, and the CORPORAL walks in and salutes.) CORPORAL: Professor Travers is here, sir. (TRAVERS brushes in past the soldier.) TRAVERS: What the devil's going on? Why have I been brought here like this? (Looks at the Captain.) Who are you? KNIGHT: Knight... TRAVERS: Never heard of you. Who? KNIGHT: Captain Knight. OK, Corporal. (The CORPORAL salutes and leaves.) KNIGHT: Look, it's no good shouting at me, Professor. I didn't ask for you. TRAVERS: Who did, then? KNIGHT: Your daughter. TRAVERS: Anne?... She's like a mother - always interfering in things she knows nothing about. KNIGHT: I understood that you'd sent for her to come back from America and help you. TRAVERS: What do you want me for, anyway? KNIGHT: I don't - I consider this to be a military matter. Others disagree. TRAVERS: You haven't had much success so far, have you? (KNIGHT leaves, exasperated.) TRAVERS: Army - what the devil do they know about it? (Looks at CHORLEY.) Who are you? CHORLEY: Harold Chorley, London Television. TRAVERS: What? CHORLEY: Harold Chorley, Lon... TRAVERS: Television? Never watch it. You an actor or something? CHORLEY: (Laughs.) Journalist, actually. The Government, in its infinite wisdom, decided only to allow one correspondent down here - the Press chose me. (Reaches for his tape recorder.) Tell me, Professor, will you be in charge of the scientific section, or will your daughter? TRAVERS: Mind your own business! CHORLEY: And how long do you think it's going to take you to come up with the answer? One week? Three perhaps? TRAVERS: How the hell should I know? (Looks at tape recorder.) Is that thing working? CHORLEY: Of course. TRAVERS: More than likely we won't be able to defeat this menace. London, in fact the whole of England, could be completely wiped out. There, d'you get that? (TRAVERS storms out, leaving CHORLEY lost for words.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8. TARDIS CONSOLE ROOM (The DOCTOR and VICTORIA are sitting against the base of the central console; the DOCTOR has a box-shaped electronic device on his lap. JAMIE walks in carrying a small component.) JAMIE: That's the only one I could find. DOCTOR: Oh... (Taking it.) oh yes, that'll do, Jamie, I think... just get that in there... (Fixes the component to his device.) and that'll be excellent. There we are, that should work! JAMIE: What's it do? DOCTOR: Nothing. JAMIE: Oh no! DOCTOR: Well, nothing yet. But it will do once we start moving again. (JAMIE groans.) VICTORIA: Do you think we ever will? We've been here so long... DOCTOR: Yes, of course we will, Victoria. You see, whatever's holding us must let go sometime. JAMIE: Doctor, the scanner! It's clearing! [SCENE_BREAK] 9. EXTERIOR TARDIS (The thick web covering the TARDIS slowly starts to dissipate.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10. TARDIS CONSOLE ROOM VICTORIA: The scanner's cleared! DOCTOR: Right... Jamie, give me a hand while there's still time. (THE DOCTOR puts his device onto the console.) JAMIE: Plug this in? DOCTOR: Yes, in there, that's right. Now listen, both of you - as soon as we land, whatever you do, don't let go! Hold on! (They all grab hold of the console.) VICTORIA: What's going to happen?... We're landing... DOCTOR: (Adjusts device.) There - now, hold tight... (THE DOCTOR flicks a switch, and a piercing electronic noise surrounds them.) DOCTOR: Oh, it's not as bad as I thought... (The TARDIS jolts, and the shock throws the crew to the floor.) DOCTOR: Is everyone alright? JAMIE: (Picking himself up.) Aye, what did you do? DOCTOR: Well, I... I've managed to move us on a bit. Not very far, perhaps half a mile from where we were expected to land. For the moment, we have eluded our captor. Look at the scanner, both of you. (The scanner shows that the TARDIS has landed in a long, dark tunnel, the walls and roof of which are smooth and rounded.) VICTORIA: Well, where are we? DOCTOR: I really don't know, Victoria. Shall we go out and have a look? VICTORIA: Now is it safe? DOCTOR: (Mischievously.) Oh, I shouldn't think so for a moment! Jamie, I think we're going to need torches. [SCENE_BREAK] 11. TUNNEL (The DOCTOR, JAMIE and VICTORIA explore the tunnel; the only light is cast by their torches.) DOCTOR: Some sort of grille... JAMIE: Don't say you've landed us in a prison! DOCTOR: It could be the dungeons of a castle. VICTORIA: It's so dark! DOCTOR: Ah, steps. Come along, be careful. (He leads them down a flight of stairs.) DOCTOR: Yes, there seems to be a large wall - tiled walls, curved ceiling... come on! (JAMIE moves to the right of the tunnel.) JAMIE: The floor seems to end here - there's a sort of trench, look! VICTORIA: Hey Doctor, come and look at this. DOCTOR: What have you found, Victoria? VICTORIA: See for yourself... (The DOCTOR shines a torch at the wall, where VICTORIA indicates, and reads.) DOCTOR: Covent... Garden. Oh yes, of course! It's an underground station - we're standing on the platform. VICTORIA: Underground station? DOCTOR: Mmm, trains, underground trains. Little after your time, I think, Victoria. VICTORIA: Is it always as dark as this? DOCTOR: No no no, it's probably the middle of the night. Come along, let's go up top. There'll be lots of light up there. Funny, isn't it? JAMIE: What? DOCTOR: How we keep landing on your Earth! (The three head off up a long stairway.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12. EXTERIOR STATION (JAMIE and VICTORIA walk out of a door to see the station exit - with a barred gate across it.) VICTORIA: Oh, the Doctor was wrong. JAMIE: Aye, it's not the middle of the night, it's broad daylight! DOCTOR: (Arriving from behind.) Just let me get my breath back - those stairs... JAMIE: Looks like we're locked in, though. DOCTOR: Well, that's strange! VICTORIA: Doctor... DOCTOR: Yes? VICTORIA: Listen... (There is absolute silence.) JAMIE: I can't hear anything. DOCTOR: It is quiet, I see what you mean. Middle of London, there should be some noise. JAMIE: Hey, Doctor, there's an old man over there. Let's ask him. (He walks over to the gate, outside which an old man is sitting, motionless, with his back to the station.) DOCTOR: Yes, come on. JAMIE: Excuse me... excuse me... (JAMIE reaches through the gate to tap the old man on the shoulder. The man slumps limply to the ground; he is covered with cobwebs, and as he falls he reveals a newsstand, bearing the headline "Londoners flee! Menace spreads".) [SCENE_BREAK] 13. STATION PLATFORM (The travellers emerge onto the platform.) VICTORIA: Oh Doctor, did you see his face? It was... sort of... covered with cobwebs! JAMIE: Hey, it's nothing to be so scared of! DOCTOR: Yes, yes. Now come along. VICTORIA: Oh no, don't let's go into the tunnel, please! DOCTOR: But we've got to get above ground, Victoria. Now let's try the next station. JAMIE: Aye, come on. (JAMIE jumps down from the platform onto the tracks.) DOCTOR: (Frantically.) Jamie, no! Don't move! Don't touch the rails! JAMIE: (Standing one leg either side of a rail.) What's the matter? DOCTOR: Whatever you do, stand still!... Stand, still, don't move!... (The DOCTOR produces a small meter from his pocket and holds it over the rails.) DOCTOR: Keep quite still, Jamie. (He looks at meter, then sighs with relief.) DOCTOR: It's alright, you can relax. The electricity's off. JAMIE: What was all that about? DOCTOR: If there had been a current running through these rails, you'd have been fried! JAMIE: Hey? DOCTOR: Electrified. Brunched! Burnt up! Now come along - it's safe now, I think, but we'd better be careful. Follow me... [SCENE_BREAK] 14. TUNNEL (Some distance from the station, the DOCTOR pauses to run a finger along the rails.) VICTORIA: What are you doing, Doctor? DOCTOR: Just confirming something - yes, just as I thought. There haven't been any trains here for some time. JAMIE: (Spots something on the ground.) Hey, what's that over there? (They go and examine the object.) DOCTOR: It's a power cable. I wonder what it's doing down here? (A row of overhead lights suddenly comes on all along the tunnel. The travellers look around and see a nearby alcove.) DOCTOR: In there, quick! (They hide; the DOCTOR cautiously peers out to see three soldiers unwinding a cable drum along the tunnel. He waits until they are out of sight.) DOCTOR: Soldiers! I wonder what they're doing down here? JAMIE: Let's go and ask them. DOCTOR: No, I think we'd better tread carefully. Let's find out what's going on first. VICTORIA: What do you want us to do, Doctor? DOCTOR: You follow the soldiers - but keep out of sight. I'm going to see where this cable goes to. Meet back here in a few minutes. JAMIE: Right. [SCENE_BREAK] 15. TUNNEL (The three soldiers - Staff Sergeant ARNOLD, Corporal BLAKE and Craftsman WEAMS - continue to unwind the cable drum. WEAMS stops, turns and looks around.) BLAKE: What's the matter? WEAMS: Thought I heard something. ARNOLD: Getting a bit jumpy, aren't you, Weams? WEAMS: It's no wonder, is it, Staff? BLAKE: Shall we connect the new drum now, Staff? ARNOLD: Yeah, alright Corp. BLAKE: Good thing we fixed these lights, eh? WEAMS: You can say that again. [SCENE_BREAK] 16. TUNNEL (VICTORIA and JAMIE pause, and cautiously start whispering.) JAMIE: Can't hear anything. VICTORIA: Are they still there? JAMIE: I think they must be moving. Come on! (VICTORIA's face brushes against a cobweb, and she lets out a startled gasp, which carries down the otherwise silent tunnel.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17. TUNNEL (The soldiers hear VICTORIA's gasp.) WEAMS: Told you I heard something, didn't I, Staff? ARNOLD: Yeah... Come on! (He starts back down the tunnel.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18. TUNNEL VICTORIA: I'm sorry! JAMIE: It's only a cobweb! VICTORIA: Do you think they heard? JAMIE: Hope not - come on. (They continue cautiously. As they pass another alcove, ARNOLD steps out, pointing a rifle at them.) ARNOLD: Well, well, well, would you believe it? The babes in the wood. [SCENE_BREAK] 19. STATION (The DOCTOR has followed the cable to Charing Cross station. Jumping onto the platform, he sees the cable is attached to a pile of crates - he then hears the familiar high-pitched bleeping sound of a Control Sphere, and ducks back under the edge of the platform as the giant form of a YETI appears above him...) [SCENE_BREAK] 20. COMMUNICATIONS ROOM (Corporal LANE is sitting hunched over the radio, while Cpt KNIGHT stands leaning against a table, clipboard in hand.) LANE: It's no good, I can't raise them, sir. KNIGHT: The truck was due there twenty minutes ago. LANE: I shouldn't worry, sir, we've never had any trouble at Holborn before. They're probably on their way back by now. KNIGHT: Yeah, perhaps you're right, Corporal Lane. Keep trying Holborn. LANE: Yes, sir. (ANNE TRAVERS enters, carrying a piece of equipment.) KNIGHT: Oh, hello! ANNE: This blast recorder's working now, Captain. KNIGHT: Fine. Let me give you a hand. ANNE: It's quite alright, I can manage... KNIGHT: No, no, I insist. Come on. (Harold CHORLEY blusters in.) CHORLEY: Now look here, Knight, I really must protest. KNIGHT: What's the matter now, Mr Chorley? CHORLEY: Professor Travers! He's being obstructive, secretive - now I was led to believe that when I came here, I was going to be given full facilities. Look, perhaps you can help, Miss Travers... ANNE: I really am very busy, Mr Chorley. CHORLEY: But so am I! KNIGHT: There's not time for talking, Chorley. Travers is busy. (CHORLEY protests.) KNIGHT: Now don't worry, I'll see that you're not left in the dark. (KNIGHT ushers CHORLEY out of the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21. CHARING CROSS STATION (A second bleeping noise, differently pitched to the first, can now be heard. The DOCTOR cautiously peeps over the edge of the platform, then quickly ducks down again as he sees a second YETI arrive. The creatures aim small gun-like weapons at the pile of crates, and to the accompaniment of a sweeping, rushing noise, smother the crates with a thick white web-like substance.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22. ENTRANCE ROOM (Staff Sgt ARNOLD and the cable-laying party arrive at the base with JAMIE and VICTORIA in tow.) ARNOLD: (To JAMIE and VICTORIA.) Alright, you two, stand over there. Keep an eye on them, Blake, will you? (WEAMS struggles in with the cable drum. Another SOLDIER walks briskly past.) ARNOLD: Hey, you there. Give the Craftsman a hand. SOLDIER: 'Ere, but Staff, I'm on this other job... ARNOLD: Don't argue, lad, just get on with it. I want that in the Operations Room upstairs. [SCENE_BREAK] 23. OPERATIONS ROOM (ANNE stands working at a bench; KNIGHT throws a knowing glance at LANE, and leans against a table behind her.) KNIGHT: How's it going? ANNE: (Warily.) Just fine. KNIGHT: What's a girl like you doing in a job like this? ANNE: Well, when I was a little girl, I thought I'd like to be a scientist... (Sarcastically.) so I became a scientist. KNIGHT: Just like that? ANNE: Just like that. (ARNOLD enters the room.) KNIGHT: Been a long time, Staff. Everything alright? ARNOLD: Yes, alright sir. Weams is just struggling up with the cable now. Come on, you two, chop chop! (WEAMS and the SOLDIER appear, carrying the cable drum between them.) WEAMS: In here, mate, come on. KNIGHT: Any trouble at Charing Cross? ARNOLD: No trouble, sir. Alright, lads, you can buzz off now... By the way, I brought you back a little present, sir. KNIGHT: Oh? ARNOLD: Found a couple of youngsters loose in the tunnel. KNIGHT: What the devil were they doing down there? ARNOLD: I dunno, sir. I thought perhaps you'd better chat 'em up, so I brought them back here. KNIGHT: Put them in the Common Room, Staff. I don't want to waste any more time on this demolition job. ARNOLD: Sir! ANNE: Staff Sergeant... ARNOLD: Yes, miss? ANNE: You're sure there were only two of them down there? ARNOLD: Yes miss, why? ANNE: Well, I don't like the idea of the tunnel being blown up if there's anybody else down there. ARNOLD: I see what you mean, miss. KNIGHT: Make sure there's nobody else down there - have a word with them, Staff. I want that tunnel blown as soon as possible. [SCENE_BREAK] 24. ENTRANCE ROOM (BLAKE stands guard over JAMIE and VICTORIA.) JAMIE: How much longer are we going to be kept here? BLAKE: What's the matter then - don't you like it here? VICTORIA: No, I don't. Where are we, anyway? (ARNOLD enters.) ARNOLD: Alright, Blake, I'll take over now. BLAKE: Righto, Staff. (BLAKE leaves.) ARNOLD: You two, in here. (ARNOLD herds JAMIE and VICTORIA through the door to the Common Room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25. COMMON ROOM JAMIE: D'you mind telling us where we are? ARNOLD: Oh, this place has been here a long time. It were a transit camp in the Second World War. JAMIE: What d'you do down here? ARNOLD: Now now, everybody knows what's happening. And you know very well you shouldn't have come down here. By the way - you were on your own, weren't you? VICTORIA: Well... JAMIE: (Stopping her.) Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] 26. CHARING CROSS STATION (The YETI complete their task and walk off, leaving the crates covered in smoldering web. The DOCTOR waits a moment, before climbing onto the platform and examining the crates.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27. COMMON ROOM ARNOLD: You're quite sure you were alone? JAMIE: Look, how many more times... ARNOLD: Well, that's alright then. (KNIGHT pokes his head round the door.) KNIGHT: Clear to fire, Staff? ARNOLD: Yes sir, they were on their own apparently. KNIGHT: Right. (KNIGHT leaves.) JAMIE: What was all that about? ARNOLD: Suppose there's no harm in telling you. You know, you two are very lucky. We're going to blow up the tunnel. JAMIE: What! ARNOLD: That's what we were laying the cable for. VICTORIA: The Doctor! [SCENE_BREAK] 28. OPERATIONS ROOM (WEAMS stands by a plunger as KNIGHT returns from downstairs.) KNIGHT: It's alright, they were on their own. OK Weams, no sense in wasting any more time. Off you go. WEAMS: Right, sir. (WEAMS pushes down the plunger.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29. CHARING CROSS STATION (The sound of an explosion fills the platform, and as the crates detonate the web glows with a brilliant white light. The DOCTOR is thrown from the platform with a scream...)	Plan: A: The TARDIS; Q: What becomes trapped in space? A: an underground station; Q: Where does the TARDIS end up in London? Summary: The TARDIS becomes trapped in space before ending up in an underground station of a mysteriously deserted London.
Story by David Crane & Marta Kauffman Teleplay by Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss Transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips [[email protected]]. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein [[email protected]]. [Scene: The hospital. Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.] ROSS: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here. MNCA: I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet? ROSS: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug. [Joey makes a sound of absolute disgust.] JOEY: Do we have to know about that? MNCA: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby? JOEY: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars. CHAN: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's. ROSS: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab. RACH: Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction. [Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.] RACH: What, it's ok when Chandler does it? CHAN: You have to pick your moments. [PHoebe arrives, guitar in hand.] PHOE: Did I miss it, did I miss it? ROSS: She's not even here yet. MNCA: What's with the guitar? PHOE: I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical. [Carol and Susan arrive.] ROSS: [to Carol] Where the hell have you been? SUSAN: We stopped at the gift shop. CAROL: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky. ROSS: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys. CHAN: I used to have that bumper sticker. [Everyone is amused by Chandler's comment.] CHAN: [to Rachel] You see what I mean. Opening Credits [Scene: Inside the hospital room. Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.] ROSS: Stopped for a Chunky. CAROL: Let it go, Ross. SUSAN: I got an extra one. You want this? [holds the candy in front of Ross' face] ROSS: [weakly] No. [Carol's doctor, Dr. Franzblau (FRNZ) arrives.] FRNZ: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing? ROSS: Dr. Franzblau, hi. FRNZ: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions? CAROL: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus. SUSAN: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds. ROSS: 59 seconds. [holds up his watch] Quartz, ha. SUSAN: Swiss quartz, ha, ha. CAROL: Am I allowed to drink anything? FRNZ: Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station. ROSS: I'll get it. SUSAN: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back. ROSS: I got it--I'm getting it! [They both leave just as Rachel enters the room, holding a cup.] RACH: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips. CAROL: Thanks. RACH: And if you need anything else, I--[notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau]--do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate. FRNZ: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician. RACH: Oh, that's funny! [Scene: Back in the waiting room. Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.] MNCA: I want a baby. CHAN: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow. MNCA: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee. CHAN: Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that. [Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.] JOEY: [to the screen] Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too. [A young pregnant woman (LYDIA) enters.] LYDIA: Knick fan? JOEY: Oh, yeah. LYDIA: Oh, boy, do they suck. JOEY: Hey, listen, lady....[sees that she's pregnant]...whoa. LYDIA: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat. JOEY: Oh yeah? And who do you like? LYDIA: The Celtics. JOEY: The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright? LYDIA: Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah! JOEY: Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father! LYDIA: There is no father. JOEY: Oh, oh, oh, sorry. LYDIA: Ok, that's ok. I'm fine. I'm... oh! JOEY: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here. LYDIA: Ok. [Joey accompanies Lydia to a hospital room.] [Scene: The waiting room. Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.] PHOE: (singing) They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch, and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much. Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why, you cry and you cry and you cry. And you cry and you cry and you cry... [Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.] PHOE: Thanks, Ross. ROSS: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop. PHOE: Ok. [A woman passes by, carrying newborn twins.] PHOE: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute. MNCA: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two? CHAN: You'll get one. MNCA: Oh yeah? When? CHAN: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one? MNCA: Why won't I be married when I'm 40? CHAN: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically. MNCA: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? CHAN: No, no, no. MNCA: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me? CHAN: [trapped] Uh, uh. MNCA: Well? CHAN: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! [throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in] [Rachel enters, in a formal dress.] RACH: Hey. PHOE: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress. MNCA: Did you go home and change? RACH: Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by? MNCA: No, I haven't seen him. RACH: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. What if the baby needs him? CHAN: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor? RACH: Yeah, why? CHAN: No reason. [turns around, makes an 'Oh my God' gesture with his eyes] [Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.] LYDIA: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. [pause] What do you mean, Joey who? [covers the phone, to Joey] Joey who? JOEY: Tribbiani. LYDIA: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. [to Joey] She wants to talk to you. Take the phone. JOEY: [takes phone] Hi, yeah, it's me. Oh, no no no, we're just friends. [pause] Yeah, I'm single. [pause] 25. An actor. [pause] Hello? LYDIA: She's not much of a phone person. JOEY: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know? LYDIA: Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no. JOEY: Ok, look, maybe I should just go. LYDIA: Maybe you should. JOEY: Good luck, and uh, take care, huh? [He leaves, but then returns a moment later.] JOEY: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team. LYDIA: Oh, that is so not true. JOEY: Oh, it is. LYDIA: It isn't. JOEY: It is. LYDIA: Isn't! [Scene: Ross, Susan, and Carol in the hospital room. Ross and Susan are both coaching Carol.] ROSS: Breathe. SUSAN: Breathe. ROSS: Breathe. SUSAN: Breathe. ROSS: Breathe. SUSAN: Breathe. CAROL: You're gonna kill me! ROSS: 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12... CAROL: Count faster. SUSAN: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie. ROSS: Who the hell is Jordie? SUSAN: Your son. ROSS: No no no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie. CAROL: Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordie. ROSS: What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco. CAROL: Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp. ROSS: I got it. SUSAN: I got it. ROSS: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps. SUSAN: No, you don't. CAROL: All right, that's it. I want both of you out. ROSS: Why? SUSAN: He started it! ROSS: No, you started it. SUSAN: You did! CAROL: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier. ROSS: But-- CAROL: Now go! ROSS: [to Susan] Thanks a lot. SUSAN: [to Ross] See what you did. ROSS: [to Carol] Yeah, listen-- CAROL: OUT! [Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.] [Scene: Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.] NURSE: Breathe, breathe, breathe... LYDIA: Oh, no. [Joey looks down at Lydia.] JOEY: Ew! What is that? Something exploded! NURSE: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you? JOEY: [panicked] Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking? NURSE: [to Joey] Breathe, breathe, breathe. [Scene: Out in the hall. Ross and Susan are arguing.] ROSS: Please. This is so your fault. SUSAN: How, how is this my fault? ROSS: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. SUSAN: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along. ROSS: You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady? SUSAN: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me. ROSS: Oh, I'm threatened by you? SUSAN: Yes. [Phoebe has heard them arguing and comes down the hall, taking them into a broom closet.] PHOE: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it! ROSS: Yeah, Susan. PHOE: Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this. [Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.] PHOE: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic? [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The broom closet. Ross and Susan are trying to get out.] ALL: Help! ROSS: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. [walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls] Ow. [Scene: Carol's room. Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.] CAROL: Are they here yet? RACH: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok? CAROL: Ok. RACH: Ok? CAROL: Ok. RACH: [to Dr. Franzblau] Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating. FRNZ: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. [Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down] There you go, dear. [Scene: Lydia's room. Joey is helping her deliver.] JOEY: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's-- [notices the nurse looking at him strangely] I was just--yeah, right. Push! Push! [Scene: The broom closet. Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.] SUSAN: What're you gonna do, suck the door open? ROSS: Help! Help! PHOE: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...[sees Ross and Susan staring at her] la la la la la la. SUSAN/ROSS: [even louder] Help! [Scene: The waiting room. Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.] MNCA: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. No, he's gone. No no, you don't have to fly back, really. What do you mean this might be your only chance? Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet. [Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.] CHAN: Where have you been? JOEY: Oh, just had a baby. CHAN: Mazel tov! [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.] FRNZ: I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone? RACH: [anxiously] No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you? FRNZ: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me. RACH: Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors. FRNZ: No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do. RACH: Oh. FRNZ: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do? RACH: I'm a waitress. FRNZ: Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'... RACH: [getting the point] Yeah. Gotcha. FRNZ: I'm gonna go check up on your friend. RACH: Ok. That's fine. [takes her earrings out] [Scene: Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father (GUY) has arrived. He listens at the door.] LYDIA: So how did you know I was even here? GUY: Your mom called me. So is this her? LYDIA: No, this is a loaner. GUY: I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself. LYDIA: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. [Joey smiles] So, did you see who won the game? GUY: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck. LYDIA: Yeah, they're not so bad. [Joey closes the door and ties the balloons to the knob. Then he walks away, holding the hand of an inflated balloon animal he had brought.] [Scene: The broom closet. Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.] ROSS: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. [to Susan] This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you. SUSAN: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have. ROSS: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me? SUSAN: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day. ROSS: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day. PHOE: This is so great. ROSS: You wanna explain that? PHOE: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. [pause] I'm sorry, you were fighting. [Scene: Carol's room. She is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.] CAROL: Where are they? MNCA: I'm sure they'll be here soon. RACH: Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this. JOEY: Relax. You're only at nine centimeters. And the baby's at zero station. CHAN: [to Joey] You are really frightening me. [Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.] CHAN: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. [they pull her hand off of him] Uh, that's great. [looking around] Anybody seen a nipple? FRNZ: All right, ten centimeters, here we go. NURSE: All right, honey, time to start pushing. CAROL: But they're not here yet! FRNZ: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them. CAROL: Oh, god. [Scene: The broom closet. Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.] ROSS: Ok, got the vent open. PHOE: [reading the nametag on the uniform] Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue! ROSS: Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben. [Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.] SUSAN: What do you see? PHOE: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent. [A janitor opens the closet door from the outside.] ROSS: Phoebs, It's open! It's open! [Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.] JANITOR: [to Ross and Susan] Wait! You forgot your legs! [Scene: Carol's room. Ross and Susan rush in.] ALL: Push, push! ROSS: We're here! CAROL: [irked] Where have you been? ROSS: Long story, honey. FRNZ: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need--[reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it] Excuse me, could I have this? NURSE: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go! ALL: Good luck! [Everyone heads for the door.] CHAN: [to nurse] Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner? NURSE: Out! FRNZ: All right, he's crowning. Here he comes. ROSS: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this? CAROL: [straining] Not.... helping! FRNZ: You're doing great, you're doing fine. ROSS: [puts his head near the baby] Hello! [to Dr. Franzblau] Oh, sorry. SUSAN: What do you see? What do you see? ROSS: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person. SUSAN: Oh, look at that. CAROL: What does he look like? ROSS: Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jello. CAROL: Really? PHOE: You guys, he's beautiful! ROSS: Oh, thanks, Pheebs! [They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.] [Scene: The delivery room. Carol is holding the infant.] SUSAN: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy. ROSS: [thinking] How 'bout Ben? SUSAN: I like Ben. CAROL: Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before? ROSS: We uh, we just cooked it up. SUSAN: That's what we were off doing. [Monica opens the door.] MNCA: Hi. ROSS: Hey. MNCA: Can we come in? [The whole gang enters.] ROSS: [to Ben] I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody. PHOE: Susan, he looks just like you. SUSAN: Thanks. RACH: Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. CHAN: I know, I still am one of these. MNCA: Ross, can I? [Monica holds Ben.] ROSS: The head, the head. You gotta... MNCA: [getting choked up] Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum. Closing Credits [The camera is placed as though it were Ben's eyes.] ROSS: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. [walks out of the picture] But I'll still always come back, like this. [returns] And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. [walks away] But I'll still always come back, like this. [returns] [Chandler comes into the picture.] CHAN: And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. [The rest of the group come into the picture.] MNCA: He is so amazing. RACH: Oh, I know. Look at him. JOEY: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name. PHOE: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. [screen goes blank] Look, he's opening his eyes. [picture comes back] JOEY: He doesn't do much, does he? ROSS: No, this is pretty much it. [long moment of silence] RACH: You guys wanna get some coffee? ALL: Yeah. ROSS: All right, I'll see you guys later. [They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.] PHOE: Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.	Plan: A: birth; Q: What is Carol about to give? A: a baby; Q: What does Monica think about having when she sees Carol in the hospital? A: Susan; Q: Who does Ross argue with about who gets to assist Carol more? A: the baby; Q: What do Ross and Susan disagree about naming? A: Phoebe; Q: Who drags Ross and Susan into a small room to settle their differences? A: Rachel; Q: Who flirts with an OB/GYN? A: female anatomy; Q: What does Rachel's OB/GYN see every day? A: Joey; Q: Who assists a single expectant mother in labor? A: a single expectant mother; Q: Who does Joey assist in labor? A: Leah Remini; Q: Who plays the single expectant mother? A: a janitor's uniform; Q: What is the name Ben derived from? Summary: Carol is in the hospital about to give birth, prompting Monica to think about having a baby. While Carol is in labor, Ross and Susan bicker over who gets to assist her more and about what to name the baby. Phoebe drags them into a small room to settle their differences but they get locked in. Rachel flirts with an OB/GYN who suffers burnout from seeing female anatomy every day. Joey assists a single expectant mother (played by Leah Remini ) in labor. Ross and Susan settle their differences and propose naming the new baby boy, Ben, derived from a janitor's uniform. Carol likes the name.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Evening. Colton: Where is Ellen May? One of my deputies saw a girl who fits Ellen May's description get waved over to an 18-wheeler. Colton: [ grunts ] Ohh! Colton: Damn it! I don't know where Ellen May is, and your smacking me around ain't gonna change that! I swear I am not Drew Thompson. That's not what Arlo Givens said. Well, Arlo Givens is a lying sack of sh1t! I don't know why Josiah told you Drew's still up here. Only time I seen him since he left was near 10 years ago at the Bluegrass festival, rubbing shoulders with the Mayor, judge executive ... all them rich Clover Hill folks. Boyd: How do you think we're gonna get into Napier's party? He'd shoot me 'fore I got through the door. Ava: Not if we use Arnold to get us an invite. Oh, I'll handle Napier. You just consider yourself invited. Both of you. Jody Adair, charged with double homicide. He's got an ex-wife in Lexington. You put eyes on him, I'll make it worth your while. Raylan: This could be a little uncomfortable. Just be cool and go with it. I get out of these, I'll tear you to pieces small enough to flush. Raylan: Look, I ain't here on Marshals' business. I just want to know about the man in the trunk. Unconstitutional, man. I got to piss. Raylan: ACLU be happy to take up your case. Let's go, brother. Suck my dick, brother. [ chuckles ] Nice work, Givens. Raylan: Always looking to fill up the piggy bank. As you like it. Besides, a good man's hard to find. Raylan: I don't know what to say. You found me so easy. Your cell still best? Raylan: If you're in town, just stop by the high-note bar. Pretty well living there these days. Oh. I hope you're not drinking away your wages. It would ravage those Hollywood looks. Raylan: We good, Sharon? We're good, Raylan. Raylan: It's good to see you. Likewise. Playing behind the beat, all cool, making the girl do all the flirting. sh1t only flies if you're a pretty boy like Eastwood there. See, Raylan there, he's got the badge and the drawl and the whole squinty, sexy thing, and there was a time I would have run right to him, done the whole merry-go-round. Now I see that for what it is, and... him for who he is. That man's an emotional disaster. Sharon, you gonna die an old maid. [ laughs ] [ tire pops ] Oh. What is that? [ grunts ] [ tire thumping ] Looks like we lost the rear tire. Be a doll and fix it. You gonna get all girly on me now? Girly? Honey, I'm gonna cop a squat. You know I drank all 36 ounces. Mr. Pibb? Lord, how do you drink any ounces? Nectar of the gods. [ birds chirping ] [ grunts ] Yeah, make it snappy. [ sighs ] What's up, man? You need a hand? All good, friend. [ car door closes ] I got AAA. If you want, I can make a call. They'll be here in 20, 30 minutes. It's time to move on. Whoa. You understand? Yeah. Some thanks I get for being a good samaritan. I don't mean no offense. For your own safety. All right. [ engine turns over ] [ grunting ] [ choking ] [ both grunting ] [ groans ] [ grunting ] [ exhales sharply ] [ sighs ] [ breathing heavily ] [ keys jingle ] [ sighs ] Where is she? You said poke out the tire, which I did when they got food, but you didn't say anything about killing nobody! Tell me where she went. I'm just a filmmaker. Kennet! You don't tell me where she went, I'll kill your ass. [ sighs ] [ footsteps approaching ] Unh! [ breathing heavily ] [ gasping ] [ sighs ] Kennet! ♪ On this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ god get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] [ telephone ringing ] [ knock on window ] Art: Already signed that. Raylan: Huh? Art: Dunlop's birthday card. Raylan: This is the summary of those 20 boxes they gave us. It's bullshit. Art: Oh, that's not just bullshit, Raylan. That is rare, vintage FBI bullshit. That's a whole different bouquet. Raylan: Drew Thompson is a 30-year-old case. They expect us to believe that? Art: I tried to call Barkley and chew his ass out about it, but he's been awol for a few days. Hasn't been to work. Raylan: Since when does J. Edgar Barkley miss work? Art: Anyway, we don't need the FBI. We can dig ourselves through all those Clover Hill names that your cousin Mary and the one-legged man gave us. Raylan: One-footed ... still got most of his leg. You're doing that thing that makes me believe you don't have high hopes. Art: That eyebrow thing? Raylan: Yeah. Art: 'Cause I don't have high hopes. I mean, what have we got? We got 20 worthless boxes and the hill woman's riddles and the ravings of a one-footed man. Raylan: Tell me we shouldn't lose hope. Art: We shouldn't lose hope. Raylan: Why not? Art: Well, maybe that psychic friend of yours, Eve Munro, she could look through all those DMV photos of everybody that fits Drew's description and maybe hit the jackpot. Raylan: Good lord. Art: You know, instead of just sitting around here ... Raylan: I ain't going. Art: Just hear me out. Raylan: I don't want to see Arlo, let alone have that same conversation. Art: I'm not saying go see your father. I'm s-saying go down to Tramble and talk to that guy who used to be the Harlan Sheriff. Raylan: Hunter. Art: Right. One-footed Josiah mentioned him, didn't he? Raylan: He did. Art: Well, just go talk to him, and then after that, go talk to your father. Raylan: Art... Art: He knows who and where Drew is. Raylan: He won't ... Art: It's easy, Raylan. You just stuff that file, tell him we've got all the evidence that we need, and then you give him a little nudge or a thinly veiled threat, and he'll spook. Raylan: He won't. Art: Well, then you give him a sob story. You know, tell him you don't want to see him die in prison. Raylan, go see your father. Raylan: Where do we keep the folder for take-out menus? Tim: Over by the copy machine. Raylan: [ sighs ] Tim: You working lunch? Go get 'em, tiger! Raylan: Happy birthday, Nelson. Thanks, Raylan. [ scoffs ] Believe that? He wished me a happy birthday. Tim: Jesus Christ, Nelson. I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. Mmm. Mmm. It's nice just laying here. Feel safe. Johnny: That boy that beat on you the other day, I gave him a whupping he won't soon forget. I didn't like doing it. But it needed doing. For you. You ain't just saying that? Johnny: You are not like the other girls. You got a light in your eyes. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel that way about you the first time I saw you. Wasn't two days ago you were all up in my face. Now you come over and get something-something and you want to romance me, too? Just tell me what you want. [ sighs ] Johnny: Hey. I want to know who put the hurt on you. [ sighs ] Johnny: It wasn't Max, so who? What do you care? Johnny: [ sighs ] See, now... I didn't know it wasn't Max 100%, but right there, you just made me sure of it. sh1t, Johnny. Johnny: So, who could it be, hmm? Who do I know and you know... could scare you into shutting up? [ chuckles ] Damn it, Johnny. Johnny: Hmm? Leave it alone. [ breathing heavily ] Johnny: Was it Colt? [ breathes heavily ] Johnny: Yeah, it was Colt. I did not say that name. Johnny: No, you did not. You swear on that. He said he'd cut out my damn tongue. Johnny: Now, why would he say something like that, not to mention beat you and scare you half to death? He was tweaking and pissed off, asking about Ellen May. Johnny: Ellen May? Where she is or did she call or some sh1t. Forget exactly. He kind of punched me right after. Johnny: Huh. Mm. Johnny: I meant what I said, Teri. [ cellphone rings ] [ beep ] Raylan: Givens. Deputy Givens ... Loren Hunkis, Campbell county Sheriff's deputy. Raylan: How can I help you? You were one of the last incoming calls on the cellphone of Sharon Edmonds. Can you tell me what association you had with her. Raylan: Had? Fished her van out of Norris Lake around 6:00 this morning. Two bodies in the vehicle, one of which was Ms. Edmonds. Raylan: Damn. Decomp suggests they've been dead about six days. Raylan: Six days? I hazard a guess it wasn't a car crash? Got one body with defensive wounds. Appears to have been strangled. Raylan: Jesus. The other, Ms. Edmonds, had a fatal gunshot wound to the neck. Raylan: I think I know the man you're looking for. [ music in radio ] Don't take this the wrong way, Jody. You know I love you and I think you're a genius, but you got to get the hell out. I can't go anywhere, Kennet. Look at me. I'm in pain, brother. Just let the meds kick in. You'll be straight. They kept you well this long. Then you can go hit up your old lady. She already messed up my sh1t. I got to heal 'fore I can go get with Katrina. Six days now you've been healing all over my couch. I think you're good. Hey, hey. Pack me a bowl, would you? [ sighs ] I helped out like you asked. I jabbed the tires in that van. I came to your rescue. But you add two bodies to the two dope dealers in Knoxville. That's four killings in under a month. I'm not cut out for that. I'm a filmmaker! Let me tell you something so you can stop your bitch-ass complaining. I don't want to go to see Katrina per se, you dig? I'm gonna go get the goddamn money I got stashed at Katrina's. Say what? Oh! Do I have your attention now, Steven Spielberg? You left the money part out. Yes, so you didn't grab it up while I was convalescing. So, new deal ... I... sit a few days. You take me over. We get the money. I cut you in 20/80 for your trouble. How much we talking? Enough you can finally make your big movie. What's it called? "The last ..." [ cellphone rings ] Hello? Uh, yeah. Well, I-I-I couldn't say. Not well. I-I-I sold her some stuff on craigslist. Cameras, lenses, stuff like that. No problem, deputy. What was that sh1t? That was the police asking me how I know Sharon Edmonds. What did you say? What difference does it make, man?! They know, Jody! Well, I'm healed. Let's go. [ coughs ] Always hated that house. Come on, man. Let's go. Look at that. Can you believe this? She put in an alarm. [ sighs ] All right, let's go around back. Oh, that's what I'm saying. [ birds chirping ] sh1t! Katrina's sister. She's white. Her sorority sister at Butler. We are lucky. If she's here, we can get in, no fuss, no muss. All right, fine. [ doorbell rings ] Good. Let's make it quick, though. No, no, no, not that man, not him. You know him? Know him. I hate him. Hello, cowboy. Raylan: Who are you? Jackie Nevada. I'm a grad student at U.K., just house-sitting for my girlfriend. Raylan: Reason I'm here, Miss Nevada, we have, uh, cause to believe that Katrina's ex-husband might be coming here for her and the kids. He's armed and dangerous and an asshole. I've met him. You got three for three. Katrina took the kids to Dollywood, which, if you know Katrina, you know is hilarious. Raylan: She say where she was staying or leave an itinerary? I probably have an e-mail on my phone. Uh-Huh. I'm thinking I'm gonna get my money and kill that man. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, it's a good idea, Kennet. LPD. Let's go. Come on. Jim. House-sitter's inside. I got time. I can get her home, but she'll give you all the details on the wife and kids first. Good. Great. Ava: Are you sure it's here? Boyd: Well, I don't know why it wouldn't be. It's not showing up anywhere else. [ clattering ] Ava: Baby. Boyd: [ sighs ] Ava: Mystery solved. Boyd: [ sighs ] Ava: We good? Boyd: Look, if I'm being honest, Ava [sighs] I'm just feeling insecure about this whole thing. Ava: You look grand. Your hair's combed all nice. Buttons are straight, and you got your pocket watch. Boyd: They'll look at me if I use the wrong fork. Ava: I don't think we need to worry about table manners up there. We just pull them old horndogs off the women, we find their history in Harlan, and we see which one of them could be Drew. If it comes down to it... what's a few hand jobs, give or take? Boyd: Well, you already looking for an open relationship? We're not married yet, Ava Crowder. Ava: Baby, you give as many hand jobs as you need to tonight. Boyd: That's not funny. Ava: Lord, we're going to a rich folk's s*x party. Who would have thought? How did you know Jody was an asshole? You two have history together? Raylan: A bit. I was with the people he killed not a week ago. Did you know them? Raylan: Him, no. Her, I slept with once a year or two ago. That's sweet. Raylan: How is that? How you're out here getting revenge. Raylan: What I'm doing is making sure you get home safe. Jackie Nevada ... sounds like a name out of a Steve McQueen movie. My stepdad wanted to call me Sierra, but he named me after my mom instead. [ alarm chirps ] [ sighing ] She walked out on us before I had a memory of her. They never married, and Reno wasn't even my dad. Raylan: Your stepdad's name is Reno? Yeah. The man's name is actually Reno Nevada? Some kind of lounge singer? Card player. Taught me some tricks. Sometimes we get in games together. Raylan: Sounds like you had quite an upbringing. He did okay. Best he could without my mom. I did see pictures of her posing nude in the backyard once Reno left on the dresser. Raylan: But you never saw your own mother? Lots of people haven't seen their moms or their dads. Raylan: Yet others do as much as they can to avoid them. [ engine turns over ] You just showed your cards. Raylan: I don't play cards. You're funny. Raylan: You're charming. Jury's out if you're sincere. You think I'm working you? Raylan: I don't know. My track record as of late, don't suppose I could tell. [ music ] Boyd: Boyd and Ava Crowder. [ indistinct conversations ] With all the rumors I've heard over the years, I expected some ancient roman spectacle. Truth be told, I'm happy I don't have to see most of these people naked. Ava: [ chuckles ] Boyd: [ chuckles ] Wow, look at her! If this fine flower is what's growing on the dung heaps of Harlan, maybe we ought to relax our admission policy. Boyd: What are you drinking, sir? Some of Jimmy Russell's finest. Boyd: Well, rare breed or reserve? You know your wild turkey. Boyd: Well, us folks down the mountain, we got to wash the taste of dung out of our mouth with something. Excuse us. Former Sheriff Napier. Ava: We do thank you for the invite. Well, didn't have much choice in the matter the way Arnold put it. Boyd: Well, we all have choices, Mr. Napier. Ours was to come and meet some new people. You're about as welcome here as a case of the clap. You can worm your way in here, but that's all you're ever gonna be ... a goddamn worm. Boyd: Well, too bad you weren't the early bird that caught it. Excuse me, Tillman. I'd like a chance to greet our guests. I'm Deborah Jane, your hostess. I'm Boyd Crowder. Boyd Crowder, yes, and Ava Crowder, obviously. Welcome. Listen, why don't y'all drink your drinks, and I will take this lovely on a little tour? Ava: Happy hunting. Okay? Number-One rule ... my house, my rules. Capiche? Boyd: I don't drink red margaritas. Ava: She a professional? No, she's just had a lot of practice. Ava: Oh. See, honey, the swinging and the swapping, it's just the bittiest bit of what we do up here. I mean, you know that we girls hold all the power, right? Ava: As it was and ever shall be. [ chuckles ] And I'm not just talking about this. [ both laugh ] I'm talking about Harlan. Weren't for us and these little get-togethers, nothing would ever get done. Ava: Hmm. But don't you worry, sugar, 'cause you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Rule number one up here is, "no" means "no". [ indistinct conversations ] I see you didn't go for one of Tillman's frosty-sugar sh1ts. Boyd: When it comes to the devil's water, I'm a simple man. [ chuckles ] To good taste. Cheers. [ glasses clink ] Lee Paxton. Gerald Johns. Boyd: Hello, gentlemen. I'm ... Boyd Crowder. It's a pleasure. Boyd: Here I thought I'd never be part of the "in" crowd. [ both chuckle ] [ laughs ] Why don't you come on over and have a little talk with us? Boyd: Well, I'd love to. All right. I moved to Harlan in '86, scabbing for eastover, which I ain't proud of. But man's got to eat. Funeral homes have been in my family for five generations. Boyd: But you yourself, a-are you new here? Oh, no, Mr. Crowder. I came back here after my aunt died in 1980. Boyd: I know a family moved down into slop creek when John F. K. became president. We still call them the new neighbors. [ laughter ] Ava: What'd you do before that? I was logging in cumberland. It's where I grew up. Ava: I had an uncle that logged there. Garret. I remember. He used to bring you and your mama to the company cookouts. Bopping people on the head with your little princess wand. You still granting wishes? Ava: Only on a case-by-case basis. Mm. Ava: Excuse me. [ chuckles ] Ava: [ chuckles ] Boyd: Well, how about yourself, Mr. Johns? I moved here in '91, what you might call a windfall. Boyd: You mean it's true what they say about your car dealership? I got the best deals in town? Boyd: That, and you won it in a hand of poker. It is. A bet's a bet. Boyd: Oh, now, that is true. A bet is a bet. We're glad to see you here, son. Boyd: Is that so? Yeah, I'm sure you are, Lee. Frank, you drunk too much. You dragged up that lowlander that screwed Black Pike Coal in a deal with Mags Bennett. You gonna do the same thing to me? Boyd: I'm afraid the only person I'm gonna be screwing tonight is my fiancé ... no offense to your wife. I know the game, and I still ain't playing. You can all go to hell. Boyd: Well, gentlemen, if I am to believe your inebriated friend, a game is afoot? I take it I'm a player? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. [SCENE_BREAK] Raylan: You've been playing poker all your life, haven't you? Started when you were ... 16, playing online. That's close to all your life. Want a beer? Raylan: Better not. I'm gonna have a beer. Raylan: You always play for money? What's the point if you don't, right? Suppose at school. U.K. I play every night. Raylan: Do you cheat? No. Raylan: You mean you don't have to. You read people. It's unavoidable. Check out mannerisms while you're deciding on the odds. Raylan: All there is to it. Maybe instead of a beer, you'd like to play poker and have a chat? Raylan: I got to do a thing. [ sighs ] [ door closes ] [ keys jingle ] Hey, girl. Jesus Christ! Jody, you can't ring the doorbell? Bell's so loud ... so loud. That why you're creeping around like a criminal? For one, I am a criminal. It's a known fact. And two, I happen to know you all cozy with the law all of a sudden, so I got to make my entrance idiosyncratic so they don't see me. Then what do you want, Jody? I want the security code to Katrina's house. Can you cooperate with me, or are we gonna have to find your joints, cut you apart like a chicken? This is ridiculous. Ah, just ... Jody ... all right, just ... just let me go. Come on. Just let go of me. Okay? Hey, hey, hey! [ grunts ] Hey! Hey. We're going with that! sh1t. sh1t, sh1t, sh1t, sh1t, sh1t! Then I press pound? No, it's pound, 7-8-4-9-5 ... Raylan: Don't move a muscle, Jody. Oh! [ growls ] Ain't this some sh1t?! Raylan: Shut your mouth. Drop the knife. [ chuckles ] Well, see, now... Come on. Raylan: I am gonna count to one. [ breathing heavily ] Raylan: Jackie, no. Ohh! Raylan: Get down! [ grunts ] sh1t! Kennet, go, go, go, go! [ tires squealing ] sh1t, sh1t! [ pounding ] You need a doctor. I need to see Raylan bleed like I'm bleeding all up in this heap-of-shit car of yours, then I need my money! Hey, hey, hey, five minutes ago, this heap of sh1t had a roof! Now it's caved in like a pancake! You broke my car! I broke my hip! When am I gonna get my money, Jody ... before you die? I'm not gonna die. Raylan's gonna die. This pain sh1t is on him! I'm gonna kill him just for the relief of it. How are you gonna do that, shape you're in? I heard him tell his Knoxville piece of pussy where he lives. I can kill that man easy as I eat a girl scout cookie. This is so goddamn crazy. [ chuckles ] This is drama. You can use this, make the best movie ever. You and me, we're gonna make that movie tonight! Feel like we're chasing the hot potato. Mind if we keep her awhile, save the state gas money? Raylan: I'd prefer to keep an eye on her myself. Would you? Raylan: Anything on the vanity plates? Yeah, it just came in ... some shitbag named Kenny Blanks over on Race street. I'm going over in a second. Raylan: I was gonna drop her off at a hotel. Maybe I can tag along. Good for me. Come on, let's go. [ music ] [ moaning ] Ava: Boyd? Boyd? [ toilet flushes ] There you are, sweetheart. You disappeared on me. Ava: Well, a girl's expected to mingle. Oh, now, I'm glad to hear you say that. Hoping we might mingle right now. Ava: Oh, boys, you know, I'm afraid it's past my bedtime. I need to get home and get some beauty sleep. Oh, come on, now. Are you a player or some kind of gawker? And keep in mind, there's only one right answer. Ava: Oh, yeah? Last man handled me like that, I shot dead at the dinner table. Come on. Don't you know why you're here? You might as well enjoy yourself. Son, son, come on. Ah! Boyd: Now, I'm gonna keep turning till I hear a pop. Oh! Boyd: You might as well enjoy yourself. Leave him be, Boyd. He's gonna have to answer to me. Ugh! Abel, you get your sorry ass down them stairs right now. [ moans ] Goddamn gawkers! Let's go. Ava: Where the hell did you disappear to?! Boyd: Look, I had you on a rope, baby. It just got a little longer than I intended. Ava: Oh, w-what were you doing ... waiting to see how far they were gonna take it?! Boyd: I came when I saw. Now, I'm sorry if you got nervous. Okay? Come here. Come here. Ava: [ sighs ] Boyd: [ sighs ] Ava: You find out if one of these guys was Drew? Boyd: Lee maybe, Gerald maybe. I don't know. But I do know why they invited us here. I think they want me to strong-arm Frank Browning. Ava: The mine owner? Boyd: The same. Now, they want me to run you home, come back up here, and hear what they got to say. Ava: I don't trust these Clover Hill people. Boyd: That don't mean I can't make a little money off of them while I find out if one of them is Drew Thompson. Now, where's your rabbit-fur jacket? Let's go. [ coughing ] [ inhales deeply ] Oh, goddamn it, Jody. Dragging me into your bullshit. Oh, I'm such an idiot. I am so stupid, stupid, stupid! All right, if the cops come... they come. If Jody kills the guy, problem solved. [ sighs ] Oh, my god. Oh, what am I gonna do? Oh, just kill myself. I'll get laid, and then I'll kill myself. [ sniffing ] Okay, okay, okay. [ sniffing ] Kenneth? [ inhales sharply ] Yeah, baby! You alright? I'll be out in a sec, all right? My first crime scene. Raylan: Enjoy it from right here. [ police radio chatter ] I'm almost done with the script. It's a lot of laughs. [ pound on door ] Why does every cop knock like that? Hands up! Get him some wall. Raylan: Kenny? How long you been a Kenny? Uh, well, since it's sort of my name, my whole life. I have friends who only call me Kenneth. Oh! Jody, you know what he calls me? Kennet without the diphthong. I bet you're wondering if he's here. He isn't. I haven't seen him since, an hour ago? Oh, this doesn't sound like any of my business. So... Jody left you a movie he's starring in i-if you're Raylan. Raylan: He wants me to see it? Don't worry. It isn't too long. [ sniffs ] Raylan: Who shot it? I did. [ sniffs ] I worked with him before. Most of the ones where he's by himself are rather boring, but his x-rated stuff, I think, is better than most. Raylan: Jody does p0rn? Some. But this one... This one you have to watch while you're here. [ music ] That's how I see the world. Going around like this basketball. Me and you gonna have to meet up again, Raylan. Can't say when right now. You're gonna be looking over your shoulder till I make the scene. Then we gonna take it to the edge. [ music ] You think he'll pick a spot and be lying in wait? Raylan: Might walk up behind me in a street full of people and press his gun to my back. I think you'd like Jody to find you. Raylan: Might be the only way to get her done. Having to look at all the faces in the crowd wears you out. I think if I were a guy, I'd be a lot like you. Raylan: Become a U.S. Marshal. You're serious? Raylan: I may be. I might as well tell you now 'cause I know I will later. I got a serious crush on you. Raylan: Before my heart starts racing and we bang into someone's rear end, I want to make a stop. Where? Raylan: High-note bar ... for a minute. Stick my head in. You think Jody might be there. Raylan: How'd you guess? Got a look on your face. Raylan: I'm right half the time I get the feeling. Wait here in the car, okay? I won't be five minutes. [ music ] [ fire alarming blaring ] [ bottle thuds ] This isn't a drill, is it? No. All right, everybody, let's go ... out! Move! [ blaring continues ] Raylan: [ sniffs ] I saw your movie. I know what your intentions are. I could pull right now and shoot you. You want to do it right here? Don't bother me none. Like I told you, we gonna take it to the edge. Raylan: [ sighs ] Remember how it was the first time? Raylan: You didn't think I was gonna shoot you? [ laughs ] And you didn't. Raylan: How about now? I run into this kind of situation on the job. You've made up your mind to give up, and you're still alive but... for how long? [ sighs ] You ain't gonna shoot. [ thud ] [ music ] Johnny: Oh, there he is, looking like 10 pounds of sh1t in a 5-pound bag. Colton: [ coughs ] How about a beer? Johnny: How about a salute to the Iraqi war hero? You know, I never did thank you for your, uh, generous service to our great nation. Colton: On second thought, how about you blow me and then get me a beer? Johnny: Come on, man. I'm just having a little fun. I know you can handle it. Or maybe you can't. Maybe that's why you've been a little sparse as of late. Colton: What is that supposed to mean? Johnny: Haven't seen you around much? You sure you ain't laying low? Colton: I've been sick. Been in bed. Johnny: Huh. You, uh... ever get those fever dreams? I hate 'em. Make me feel like I'm going insane. [ bottles clattering ] Colton: I get 'em. [ clears throat ] Everyone gets 'em. Johnny: You kill a lot of people? Colton: What? Johnny: In Iraq. Is it any different than killing folk over here? Colton: Now, what do you mean by that, Johnny, huh? Is it different than killing white folk? Johnny: [ grunts ] No. Innocents. You know... civilians, kids, that sort of thing. You see their faces in your dreams? I hear a lot of veterans have that problem. Colton: You need to check your fridge, Johnny. This beer's warm as piss. Johnny: You see Ellen May's face? Colton: No, I haven't. Johnny: No, you wouldn't since, uh... she wasn't exactly innocent. Boyd, do you know about the E.P.A. superfund? They come in after there's a big environmental disaster like, say, a slurry pond breaks its banks. Pour in a king's ransom of government funds for the cleanup. Boyd: Well, let me guess. You want Frank Browning to bust open one of his ponds so all of you can suck off the federal tit, but he ain't willing to play along. Told he was sharp. Frank Browning is indeed a problem. You seem like a problem solver. Boyd: You want me to twist his arm? We'd prefer it... if you kill him. [ sighs ] Boyd: And if I say no? After all we've given you? Boyd: Come again? How about the whorehouse? Drug running. You ever think how you have that? 'Cause we let you. Keeps your cross-eyed brethren down the mountain placated. You know what that word means ... "placated"? Boyd: Yes, I do. But I think the word you're looking for is "pacified." I think you're missing the point. Your daddy got the point. Crowders do what we say. And to be crystal goddamn... clear... kill Frank Browning, or we'll destroy you. Wow. I was not expecting this. Raylan: When the Marshals do things, we try to do it right. I like how you do things. Raylan: I know I give you a charge, but you seem almost giddy. That got anything to do with what's in the bag? My school books? Raylan: Jackie. I figured out why Jody came back to Lexington instead of just taking off. Wasn't 'cause of the kids or Katrina. It was for the money, and I'm pretty sure it is in that bag. [ inhales deeply ] What are you gonna do about it? Raylan: It's ill-gotten gains. If I find it, I got to turn it in. But... if it was never found and it made its way back to Katrina and the kids, that wouldn't be such a bad thing. [ cellphone ringing ] [ beep ] What's up, Chief? Art: So, were you gonna tell me what happened or just keep it to yourself? Raylan: I didn't want to wake you. Art: That's very thoughtful. Let me guess. In all this, you still haven't made it to Tramble. Raylan: Uh, first thing tomorrow morning. Art: Where are you? Raylan: Don't worry ... we ain't paying for the room. Art: What, is she sitting right beside you? [ water running ] Raylan: I hear the shower running. Probably just gonna sleep on the couch. Art: That'd be a first for you, wouldn't it? Raylan: [ chuckles ] Art: She in love with you yet? Raylan: Art, this girl ain't the least bit interested in an old fart like me. Art: He said humbly. Raylan: Tell me we're done. Art: We're done ... for now. Go see your fath... [ beep ] Raylan: [ sighs ] [ water running ] Arlo: The hell is that? Raylan: FBI folder stuffed full of take-out menus. I was gonna tell you your time was running out. They gave us everything we needed to short-circuit your deal. Arlo: But you cannot tell a lie. Didn't I teach you anything? Raylan: Not really. Look, I know you think you're the toughest man that God ever strung a gut through, and you got your plan. Long as you stick to it, everything's gonna work out, but just 'cause you got a plan don't mean it's a good one. Killed a guy last night didn't understand that. Arlo: Am I supposed to be impressed? Raylan: It's just a fact. My plan, Arlo, was to see that under no circumstances you got a deal. Well, I'm gonna change that. I'm gonna cut you a deal right now. Arlo: You must be hard up, boy. Raylan: Suffice to say, there's something in it for both of us. Arlo: Go on. Raylan: We know Drew's alive and in Harlan, but it's gonna be a bitch to find him. We could use your help. Arlo: Now we're getting to it. Raylan: What you don't realize is, you could use our help. Theo Tonin knows Drew's alive, too, and guess who he's got on his payroll helping him look for him? Boyd Crowder. Arlo: You're bullshitting me. Raylan: Son you never had is working against you. Arlo: So, maybe I did teach you something after all. Raylan: If they find him first, your deal evaporates, but you tell me right now and we get to him, I will make sure you live out your days in a country-club jail. Arlo: Let me consider it. Raylan: For once in our lives, let's work together, huh? Arlo: I've considered it. Eat sh1t. Raylan: [ chuckles ] So be it. [ inhales deeply ] I'm gonna go see Sheriff Hunter now. Josiah says he knows Drew. Maybe he'll take that country-club deal instead of you, huh? See what you did there? I struck a nerve. Arlo: Didn't do anything. Raylan: Exactly. As long as I can remember, whenever you got bad news, you had a face like a statue. Arlo: Can't help I'm good-looking. Raylan: So long, Arlo. You're gonna die here and, uh, not in the distant future ... tomorrow or maybe Sunday after chow. Arlo: You threatening me? Raylan: And I'll tell you something. I'm gonna be glad when I hear the news. [ gate closes ]	Plan: A: a couple; Q: How many prisoners does Raylan visit? A: a person; Q: What did Raylan deliver to bail bondsmen that escaped and killed Raylan's female acquaintance and her partner? A: Arlo; Q: Who does Raylan offer to get his dad transferred to a country club prison? A: Detroit; Q: What city is the mob from that Raylan's dad is concerned about? A: the ex-sheriff Hunter Mosley; Q: Who did Raylan tell his dad he was going to see? A: a dirty cop; Q: What was Hunter Mosley's profession? A: Season 1; Q: In what season did Raylan take down Hunter Mosley? A: Blind Spot; Q: What was the name of the episode where Raylan took down Hunter Mosley? A: season one; Q: When did the Miami mob try to kill Raylan? A: Boyd; Q: Who is not closer to finding Drew Thompson? A: Harlan; Q: Where is Drew Thompson? A: Boyd's brothel; Q: What do the party goers threaten to shut down if Boyd doesn't kill someone for them? Summary: Raylan is on his way to visit a couple of prisoners, including his dad, when he finds out that a person he delivered to bail bondsmen escaped and killed Raylan's female acquaintance and her partner. Raylan eventually finds this escapee at the bar below where Raylan lives, and shoots him in a standoff. Raylan visits his dad in prison. Raylan tells him he will get him transferred to a country club prison if Arlo tells him where Drew is and that's the best deal Raylan is willing to offer. Arlo dismisses the offer. Raylan tells his dad he does not really care if he is killed in prison by associates of the Detroit mob that are also looking for Thompson. Raylan leaves his dad after telling his dad that he is on his way to see the ex-sheriff Hunter Mosley. Hunter was a dirty cop that worked for the Miami mob; Raylan took him down in Season 1, Episode 7 ("Blind Spot"). He helped the Miami mob try to kill Raylan in season one. In a separate plotline, Boyd is no closer to finding Drew Thompson at a house party with wealthy people from Harlan. Some of the party goers ask Boyd to kill someone for him or they will shut down Boyd's brothel.
ACT ONE Scene One - KACL Frasier is doing his show. Frasier: Well, Caroline, if you've been in therapy for two years and you're feeling like you're no longer making any progress, perhaps you've reached a plateau, or you and your therapist have simply gone as far as you can together. Caroline: [v.o] Maybe it is time for a change. He's kind of dry and long-winded. Frasier: Well, two years is certainly a long time to spend with a psychiatrist you find dry and long-winded. Roz: A-men to that! Caroline: Thanks, Dr. Crane. You've given me a lot to think about. Would it be OK if I called back sometime and picked your brains? Frasier: Well, just consider me your mental banjo. Well, that's it for this fine Friday, Seattle. This is Frasier Crane saying, "we'll see you next week." Roz: [coming into the studio] Good show, Frasier. Frasier: [exhausted] Oh, Roz. I've been waiting for this moment the entire week. [slowly takes off his headphones in happiness] Roz: That's what I love about you, Frasier. You work hard and you play hard. Frasier: Roz, you have no idea how much I've been looking forward to this weekend. There comes a time when even the most conscientious of psychiatrists has had his fill of other people's problems. A delivery boy opens the studio door with a package. Delivery Boy: Hi. Is one of you Roz Doyle? Frasier: Yes... that's all the clues we're going to give you. The delivery boy hands Roz the package, which she signs for and he leaves. Frasier: A little offering from one of your suitors perhaps? A nice string of pearls? A teardrop pendant? Roz: [opening package and tearfully turning to Frasier] It's a brick of cheese! Frasier: Well, on the right chain I can see that looking smart. Roz: It's from my family. They're in Wisconsin at my Uncle's dairy farm having a family reunion. Frasier: Oh, why didn't you go, Roz? Roz: There wasn't time. But now I wish I'd gone. Frasier, we always have so much fun. Like this one time there was this huge cheese party and one of my uncles started speaking in cheese language. You know, like instead of saying, "Hello, how are you?" he'd say, "Hello, Havardy." Someone else would go "Oh, I'm Gouda." Oh I don't know, what would come after that? Frasier: If I'd been there, the sound of a gunshot! Roz: [tearful] Don't make fun. I miss those people. Frasier: Oh, Roz, oh... [going to console her] There, there. Roz: We play games and sing songs. Frasier: Oh, of course. I know. Roz: And Aunt Libby does cannonballs into the lake. Frasier: Oh yes, the memories must be... Roz: And Uncle Ned has too much to drink and he starts putting pants on all the cows! Frasier: Listen, Roz. If what you're looking for is family fun tonight, why don't you come to my place? It's my Dad's birthday. I completely forgot about it last year and I'm going to make up for it this year. There's just one rule. No work, just a good time. Roz: Frasier, I don't think I'd be much fun. Frasier: Roz, I insist. There's no one I enjoy partying with more than you and I just hate to see you like this. I Camembert it! Roz: [crying] Oh. So sweet. [SCENE_BREAK] WHAT IF HE HAD TAKEN A REALLY BIG BREATH? Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment Frasier comes into the apartment with a cake, parcels and food. Eddie is lying on the couch. Martin and Daphne are nowhere to be seen. Frasier: All right, it's someone's birthday! I hope you're all in the mood for a party. I know I am. Daphne: [from the kitchen] YOU'RE BLOODY IMPOSSIBLE! Martin: [from the kitchen] AND YOU'RE A BLOODY NAG! Daphne: DON'T YOU SHAKE THAT CANE AT ME! Martin: QUACK QUACK QUACK - hey! The cane comes flying out the kitchen followed by Martin. Daphne storms out after him. Frasier: Oh, for heaven's sake, not again! Martin: Just decided what I want for my birthday: fire Daphne! Daphne: You'd have to re-hire me first, because I quit! I hope I never see this place or that hateful old canker sore ever again. Frasier: Okay, what is it this time? Daphne: The usual. I ask him to do his exercises and he twists his face up like a mewling little baby. Martin: Why don't you tell him how you asked me to do it - by pouring my beer down the sink and banging on the spaghetti pot with a wooden spoon? Daphne: I'm here for your health. I don't have to be your friend. Martin: Well, that's good! Because I've got a friend here [gestures to Eddie] who doesn't happen to be a yammering nag! Daphne: [throwing Martin's cane away] Eddie, fetch. Frasier: [catching the cane] Oh, stop this! You two are having the same argument all the time. You can just pick this up again tomorrow. Tonight we are going to have a party. Dad, I went down and got your favorite lemon cake. I also got some snacks and some champagne. Can we all just agree to try and have a little fun this evening? [The doorbell rings] Now that is probably Roz. She's been very down this week and what she's in need of is a very happy and carefree environment. Frankly, I could use the same thing. Now can we just agree to maybe a truce? Martin/Daphne: [muttering over each other] Yeah, well if she keeps her mouth shut.../If he can keep his big... Frasier opens the door to Roz. Frasier: Roz! [kisses her hello] Roz: Hey, Martin. Martin: Hey! Roz: [holding up a parcel] Happy Birthday! Martin: Oh, you didn't have to do this. [looks inside and laughs] Hey, thanks, Roz! [pulls out a six-pack of Ballantines] I'll have to model it for you later. Daphne: He's already modeling the last one someone gave him. Martin: Quack! Frasier: Listen, I have a very nice evening planned. Can we all just try to be civil? The doorbell rings and Frasier goes to answer. It's Niles. Niles: [storming in] You unprincipled charlatan! You unconscionable fraud! [turning to Martin] Happy Birthday, Dad. Martin: Thanks. Frasier: Niles, what are you talking about? Niles: You spoke to a patient of mine today, Caroline. As a result of your fast-food approach to psychiatry, she left me! Frasier: Caroline was your patient? Niles: Two years of my hard work wiped out by one of your two- minute McSessions. Frasier: Niles, I merely suggested that she consider a change. Niles: Based on what diagnostic method? One potato, two potato? Daphne: Oh, fancy that. A member of the Crane family who doesn't take the time to do something. Martin: Quack! Niles: Exactly, Dad. [at Frasier] Quack. Martin: [pointing his cane in Daphne's direction] I was talking to her. Niles: Don't you raise your cane at her! An unholy rabble begins with everyone arguing and trying to talk over one another. Roz decides she's had enough and tiptoes away to the front door which Frasier suddenly notices. Frasier: NO, WAIT! Roz, where are you going? Roz: I think I'd better leave. Frasier: We were just talking. That wasn't fighting. We were talking. Roz: I'd really just rather be by myself. Thanks, guys. I had a wonderful time. Frasier: [shutting the door behind Roz] Well, I hope you're happy. You've ruined her evening. Martin: Her evening? It's my birthday. Daphne: Right. Well, let's get that underway right now. Who's ready for cake? Daphne slams the cake down on the table and stabs a candle into it. Martin: I certainly don't want to keep anybody here a second longer than they have to be so let's get this over with. Thanks for a great party! Martin blows out his candle and the entire household is plunged into darkness. Niles: Well, there's nothing wrong with Dad's lungs. Daphne: Every light in the city is out. It must be a blackout. Frasier: Don't panic. There's certainly worse places we could all be in a blackout. Niles: Like the elevator. Frasier: [realizes] Oh my God, Roz! Martin: Why couldn't it be Daphne? [there is a crash and a bang] STOP DOING THAT! END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR TELEVISION (IT'S A BLACKOUT) Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment The apartment is still in darkness. All that can be heard are voices. Daphne: We just need to get some light in here. Martin: Eddie, where are you? Daphne: Oh, excuse me, Dr. Crane. Niles: Quite all right, Daphne. Frasier: Oh, Daphne, where are the hurricane lamps? Daphne: They're in the kitchen. I'll get them. Frasier: All right. Dad, why don't you light a fire? Daphne: Oh, excuse me, Dr. Crane. Niles: Not your fault, Daphne. Martin: Eddie! Where are you, Eddie? There is a sound of a crash and a muffled bark. Frasier: [annoyed] I've found him! Daphne lights a hurricane lamp and some light is restored to the apartment. Niles, who has been hovering near her, quickly backs away. Daphne: Well, that's better. Martin: I'm going to go get my radio. See what the hell's going on. Frasier: [struggling up off the floor] All right. The front door opens to reveal Roz. Frasier: Oh Roz, Roz! You're all right. Roz: I'm fine. The blackout hit just as the elevator doors opened on the fourteenth floor. So I stood in the hallway trying to decide whether to come back in here with you guys or take my chances on the pitch-black streets with the muggers and the weirdos. So I went down a couple of flights... and then I changed my mind. Meanwhile someone's probably looting my apartment! Niles: Yes. I hear there's a thriving black market in badly- designed Formica coffee tables. Roz: At least I have my own sense of style. You won't even buy a chair unless some fey French aristocrat has sat his fat satin fanny in it! Niles: Louis the Fourteenth was not fey! Everyone wore garters in the eighteenth century. Niles and Roz begin arguing with each other which Frasier is forced to break up. Frasier: People... people... [they keep arguing] SILENCE, ENFANTS!!! [they shut up] Now we can all sit here in the dark and be miserable or we can try to have some fun. Niles: I'm going to call Maris. Frasier: Well, Niles has voted. Who votes for fun? Roz: I'm going to go and get a big glass of wine. Daphne: Well, it looks like the steaks we were going to have are out. I better go and see what I can find. Frasier: Thank you, Daphne. Niles quickly drops his handkerchief and is bent over to pick it up when Daphne turns quickly and bangs into him. Daphne: Oh, sorry, Dr. Crane Niles: Excuse me, Daphne. Martin: [coming through with the radio to his ear] The power is out all over south Seattle. They're working on it now. Niles: [talking on the phone to Maris] Hello, Maris. Thank God I got you. Listen, darling, there is no need to panic. The most important thing is to stay calm... About the blackout. Maris? Take off your slumber mask. [Niles suddenly holds the phone away from his ear] Ooh! No darling, darling, don't panic. Honey, no, honey, hon, ho- ho- h... [turns the phone off and puts it back in his pocket] She's fine. Reset to: Kitchen Roz is drinking a glass of wine while Daphne pulls ice cream out of the fridge. Daphne: Ooh, yum, scrum, pig's bum. Here's something nice. Half- gallon tubs of Cookies & Cream and Vanilla Fudge. Roz: Mmm, well let's take care of these right away before they melt. Frasier: Well, there's no need to worry, ladies. The freezer will keep them cold for at least 24 hours. Daphne/Roz: Shut up! Reset to: Living Room: Martin: [bored] Well, I don't like to get nostalgic but it was sure great last year when you forgot my birthday! Frasier: You know what we need to do? We need to liven things up a little bit. How about a game? What was that game we played at the Rambican's when they were costuming the servants for the living chess match. It was... er... oh yes, I remember - "I'm the dullest person." Roz: At least pick a game someone else has a chance of winning. Frasier: Well, that's got things shakin'. OK, come on, Dad. Martin reluctantly gets up. Frasier: What the game is - we all get pennies and we're supposed to try and get the other person's pennies. Martin: [sarcastic] Please, slow down! Frasier: [gathering everyone round the table] All right now. If I was going to go I would say, "I am the dullest person because... I have never been on a rollercoaster." All right? And then all of you that have been on a rollercoaster would give me a penny. Now we all have our pennies. Who would like to go first? Daphne? Daphne: [bored] I can't think of anything. Frasier: Of course you can. Just say the first thing that comes into your mind. I'm the dullest person because... Daphne: [becoming increasingly exasperated] Oh, I don't know. Because I've never made love in a lift or a phone booth or on an aeroplane or a merry-go-round. Frasier: OK - that's good, but strategically speaking that's not the best way to get our pennies. You see it should be something that someone else might have actually... [Roz throws in a penny] ...done. Roz throws in three more pennies while everyone around the table just looks at her in amazement. Roz: I was in college. I was trying to find myself. Niles: All you needed to do was look under the nearest man. Roz kicks Niles under the table. Frasier: All right, Dad. Get our pennies. Martin: All right. I'm the dullest person because... I've never been to France. Frasier: [as the others throw pennies in] Good, Dad. That's getting into the spirit of it. All right, Niles. What's something you've never done? Niles: Well, let's see. I'm the dullest person because I've never sabotaged my brother's career. Frasier: Will you give it a rest! Daphne: Oh, your father could show you how to do that. Martin: Quack Quack! Yet another argument breaks out between everyone while Roz sits in the middle. Roz: WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP? You are torturing me. I could report you to Amnesty International. Martin: [getting up] That's it, I'm outta here. Frasier: Oh, Dad, Dad. You haven't even cut your cake yet. Where are you going? Martin: I'm going to sit in the tub with a hairdryer and wait for the power to come back on. Niles: Well, this blackout could go on all night. It's time I braved the dark streets and got back to my Maris. I just hope it isn't like the lightning storm last month. The only way I could coax her out from under the bed was by tying a Prozac to the end of a string! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Four - Frasier's Apartment Frasier heads out to the balcony to find Roz there. No one else is to be seen. Frasier: Roz. Like to have a little cake? Roz: No, thanks. This reminds me of Wisconsin. All dark and deserted. Frasier: That's on the license plate, isn't it? Roz - what's the real reason you didn't go to your reunion? You've always made it before. Roz: Well... no, no. You said you didn't want to hear any more problems today and I don't blame you. Frasier: I think we have time for one more caller. Roz: Well... every year I go to my reunion. My relatives crowd around me and I answer the same questions. No, I'm not married. No, I don't have any kids. Yes, I still have that tattoo. No, you can't see it. It would just be so nice if I could at least say I have a great career. Frasier: Roz, you do have a great career. Roz: Tell that to my relatives. You know according to them I spend four hours on the phone every day with a bunch of losers and wackos, then I turn them over to some tedious know-it-all who gives them pointless advice. [Frasier looks none too amused] Oh, that's not me talking. That's my Uncle Ned. Frasier: Oh, yes - the cow haberdasher. You know, Roz - ten years ago KACL didn't have any women producers? You're a pioneer. You've won awards. You help people. Roz: Sounds right when you say it. Frasier: Maybe you're just looking for too much from your job. Start exploring other areas of your life. Interests. Maybe a serious relationship? Roz: Maybe you're right. I mean, how long can I go on chasing these hunky twenty-five year-olds that are all looks and no substance? Frasier: Exactly, Roz. Roz: No, I'm serious. I'm asking, how long? Three, four years? There is the sound of breaking china from the kitchen. Daphne: [from the kitchen] Oh, bloody hell! Frasier: [going through to the kitchen] Daphne? Are you all right? Daphne: I've broke your father's souvenir spoon rest from Atlantic City. Frasier: Oh, good. Daphne: You know - when I have my own kitchen I'm going to put my food right on the damn counter. I've always said as soon as I've saved two thousand dollars I'll get my own place. Frasier: Well, how much have you saved? Daphne: Four thousand. Oh, I know what you're thinking. What's wrong with me? Why do I stay here? Frasier: No, I was just thinking I must be paying you too much. Daphne: My friends all say you should be on your own. Have a place. Have a life. Why do I stay here? Frasier: Could it be that, maybe, you like us? You know my Grandmother used to have a cat. A mangy old thing. Kept ruining the furniture and stuff. I asked her why she kept it and she said that maybe it was because she liked having another heartbeat around the house. Daphne: It just makes me feel like I'm not very ambitious. I could be working in a hospital or a clinic. Frasier: Of course you could, Daphne, but maybe that's not what's important to you right now. I think you like being part of a family. What's wrong with that? Daphne: Nothing, I suppose. Although my friends wonder how I can live with such demanding men? Frasier: They call me demanding, do they? Daphne: No. Actually they call you a pompous ass! Frasier: And now you've learned that I'm not? Daphne: No. I've learned to work around it. Martin storms into the kitchen and heads for the fridge. Martin: Excuse me, I'm getting a beer. And yes, I know it's not good for me. And yes, I know it's going to make me fat. And yes, I know it'll keep me from doing my exercises. Do you have anything to add to that? Daphne: Yes! Happy Birthday, you old sod! She kisses Martin on the cheek then leaves. Martin: They try to confuse you on purpose. [takes a swig from his beer before putting it down in disgust] Room temperature! Just like merry old England. Another place that I'll probably never get to. Frasier: Dad, you used to talk about going to Europe when your hip improves. Now you're saying you'll never get there? What's changed? Martin: Nothing! My hip's the same as it was a year ago. I had it in my head it would be better by now, but I'm not and I'm probably never going to be. Ah, you don't understand. You're happy just sitting on your can, doing your little radio show, living inside your head. But I'm used to being out there. Frasier and Martin walk back through to the living room to find Eddie standing on the table trying to get off an ice cream tub, that has got stuck on his face, with his paws. Martin: Eddie! Frasier: Listen, Dad. You can still travel. [Martin dismisses him] You can. You can't walk around Paris - you can sit at a nice café and let Paris walk past you. Maybe buy a glass of wine for a beautiful Mademoiselle. Get yourself a nice bottle of imported beer. Martin: I only like Ballantines. Frasier: In Paris, Ballantine's is imported beer. And you are the handsome american with the adorable accent. Martin: [thinks about it, then smiles] They like moustaches over there, don't they? Just as Martin is warming to the idea the door bursts open to reveal Niles, breathless and panting like he's just run a mile. Niles: Nineteen floors down to my car! Garage door's electric! Can't open! Twenty floors back up! Lost count! Bad lady upstairs! Big dog! Need place to die! Frasier gets up to help him, while Roz and Daphne are yelling down over the balcony. Roz: [from the balcony] Same to you, buddy! Martin: Who are you talking to? Roz: Some rowdy guys downstairs. Come on out here, Martin. I want you to introduce us. Martin: [going outside] All right. Keep your pants on. Frasier: Here, Niles. Let me take your coat. Niles: Oh, haven't you taken enough from me today? Frasier: Oh, Niles. You're being silly and irrational. Niles: Sticks and stones. Frasier: You're acting just like Dad. Niles: [furious] You take that back! Frasier: You know you're not really mad at me, Niles. You know I didn't tell that woman to leave you. I merely suggested it as an option. It was all her choice. Could it be that you're really upset just because you couldn't help that woman? Niles: You know, I really hate that. When you take a simple criticism and you turn it back on me. Frasier: I think I'm right. Niles: Well, of course you're right. Why do you think I hate it? Do you have any idea what I went through trying to help that woman? Frasier: Yes, I think I do. Niles, you're a perfectionist. As faults go that's not such a bad one to have. Niles: It just would have been nice if I could have been the one to tell her that it was time to go. Instead she had to hear it from some glib, albeit insightful radio pundit! Roz: [coming back in with Martin and Daphne] Those rowdy guys downstairs invited us to a blackout party. Martin: They have cold beer. Roz: And Carlsberg. Daphne: You know, it's funny. I was feeling a bit down before but suddenly I'm in a party mood. Frasier: What about our party? Roz: There are people downstairs. Martin: They have a barbecue. Niles: Come on, Frasier. Frasier: No, no, no thank you. I'm not really in the mood anymore. Daphne: Don't be a party pooper. Martin: Oh, let him be. He's always been that way. Frasier: Excuse me! Just a second. I think maybe it's time for a little lesson about what it's like to live the life of this particular party pooper. I spend the whole damn week ministering to the troubled and the neurotic and the sometimes just plain goofy. Then I hang up my earphones and it doesn't end there. Out on the street, at the café, even in this building - more people come up for help, more problems. I suppose they just think it's OK, it's what I do. But every time I try to help them it costs me a little piece of myself. A little bit here, a little bit there, a little bit here, a little bit there... until I end up feeling like a zebra carcass on the Serengeti surrounded by burping vultures! Well, this happened to be one of those weeks. I had my escape planned. I was going to come home for an evening of fun with my extended family. What do I get? I get the four of you going at each other like the Borgias on a bad day! So I roll up my sleeves, and I tend to each one of you. And you all feel better. And the minute you get a whiff of mesquite coming from down below, you are out the door without so much as a "thank you." Well, thank you for the invitation, but I am, frankly, fed up with people and their problems. The Doctor is out. Everyone starts to apologize and come towards Frasier to say sorry. Frasier: Okay, apologies accepted! Everyone about turns and heads for the door, assuming he's coming with them now. Frasier: No, no... look, I-I love you all. I really do. But what I want right now is to be left alone, right here, where no one needs anything from me. They head out, inviting him to come if he changes his mind. Martin: Well, OK. I'll bring you some barbecue. Roz: Oh my God, it's dark out here... The four of them exit leaving Frasier alone in the apartment in silence. Frasier sits down in happiness and picks up his book. Eddie comes in and leaps up on the sofa next to Frasier. He lies on his back and wriggles about. Frasier: Oh, for God's sake, Eddie. No, I'm not going to do it. No. Frasier looks away from Eddie who lies prostate on the sofa. Eventually Frasier turns back towards him and tickles his stomach.	Plan: A: Roz - unhappy; Q: Who is missing a family reunion? A: Martin; Q: Whose birthday party is Frasier throwing? Summary: Frasier tries to cheer up Roz - unhappy because she is missing a family reunion - by inviting her to the birthday party he is throwing for Martin.
Credit & Thanks to ~ Vibrant Fields ~ [PREVIOUSLY_ON] View of Bailey running into the Ambulance Bay with the overturned ambulance View of Callie in Exam Room: this is mary daltry. She lost consciousness behind the wheel. Mary: How's shane ... my partner? View of Shane in the Exam Room: I just didn't want her to see. I thought she might take offense. View of Stan pinned under the ambulance: Can you get my wife? Stan's Wife Sara (crouches down beside him): Baby? View of Mary in her Exam Room: You're gonna drill into my skull? View of Derek operating on Mary: Are you kidding me? The navigational system is dead? View of Ray in the ambulance hanging over Stan: Damn it, stan. Stan. Stan. View of Ava talking to Alex: Can I watch the surgery? Can I ... can you sneak me in? View of Izzie seeing Lexie sit next to Ava in the Gallery: (to Alex) you're busted. View of Meredith and Derek getting dressed in a supply closet: Meredith V.O. I'm going to tell him. I don't want him seeing other people. Then in Scene: Derek: What? IN Sceene: Meredith: Nothing. I'm ... gonna be late. View of Bailey's Kitchen, Tucker Sr to Bailey: We need to talk. View of patient Jacob, Shot of wife, with Jacob's V.O.: My wife gets panicky if she doesn't know what's going on. View of Izzie speaking to Jacob: I will keep her updated. View of patient Nick talking to Lexie: You seeing anyone? View of patient Nick with his artery blowing out. [SCENE_BREAK] View of skyline, ambulance flipping, computer screen, then Meredith and Christina dancing in slow motion blurry as in a dream MVO: At the end of the day, the experience of practicing medicine bears little resemblance to the dream. Scene of Alex and Ava Kissing Ava: Are you ... are you ... are you really okay? Alex: Yeah. (he kisses her again) Ava: Alex, come on. Ava: That was intense ... intense and crazy and just awful. H-how can you be okay after a day like that? Alex just pulls her back to him and kisses him again. MVO: We go into medicine because we want to save lives. View of O.R. Christina and Lexie Christina: You did a good job today, and it was not easy. What you did was not easy. It was brave. MVO: We go into medicine because we want to do good. View of Sloan and Callie in lounge. Sloan is standing looking wiped out. Callie is sitting on the couch staring at him. MVO: We go into medicine for the rush, for the high, for the ride. But what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. Shot of George and Izzie lying on their couch at home. Izzie is silent. George is staring at her not knowing what to say. MVO: What we lie awake at night replaying is the pain we caused ... the ills we couldn't cure ... Shot of Derek at the nurses station. Meredith walks up to him. MVO: the ills we couldn't cure Meredith: I don't want you to date other people. It may not be enough for you, but I'm trying here. I don't want you to date anybody but me. Shot of Webber at night in the ambulance bay, the last damaged ambulance is on a truck bed and hauled away. MVO: The lives we ruined ... or failed to save. At the end of the day, the reality is nothing like we hope. The scene has turned into day and the ambulances reappear, chaos is surrounding him. MVO: The reality is, at the end of the day, more often than not, turned inside out and upside down. Webber (to nurses coming out of the doors): Over here! (to Meredith in the ambulance) Meredith, get in there. We don't have time to lose. Meredith: Okay. I got the shirt open. I'm almost there. [SCENE_BREAK] Nick's Room; Nick's artery is still bleeding and he is freaked out. Lexie is attempting to apply pressure to his neck. Lexie: Stop! Stop! Stop! Just hold still! Nick tries to calm down. Lexie: Okay. Okay, that's it. I got ... I got it. It stopped. I got it. (She is covered in blood and can't remove her hands from his neck.) Nick: Holy crap. My artery blew. Lexie: Your artery blew. Nick: I didn't think that would really happen. I mean, I thought it was something that the doctors say might happen because they have to, but I didn't think that it would really happen. Lexie: Me neither. [SCENE_BREAK] OR with Derek can't remove the probe he is holding from Mary's brain. Rose: Their local tech's in spokane. Derek: That's five hours away. Did you tell them I was in the middle of somebody's brain? Rose: Yes. The tech is still in spokane. (beat) You can't just pull the probes out and go to a full craniotomy? Derek: No. (turns to intern beside him)Why not? Steve: Uh, the probe is in the tumors. Pulling out without the navigation system could damage the brain tissue. And you can't leave the probe in very long without risking swelling. Derek: That's good. What's your name? Steve: Two. Steve. Steve Mostow. Dr. Steve Mostow, intern. Derek: All right, steve, I need you to run to the nurses' station. Tell them to make an announcement. Tell them we need computer technicians in O.R. Three. Go fast, and scrub in on your way back. Steve: Yes, sir. Rose: Dr. Shepherd. Derek: Yes. Rose: I did three semesters in computer science before I switched to nursing. I don't know what's wrong, but if it's something reasonably basic, I. Derek: I'd feel a lot better about this if your voice wasn't shaking. Rose: My voice shakes when I'm nervous. I'm an imperfect person, but it doesn't mean I can't fix the computer. Derek: All right, rose has three semesters of computer science at ... what school did you go to? Rose: Santa Cruz. Derek: That's a party school. Rose: You want to insult my education, or do you want me to try and help you save your patient? Derek: Ay, who can beat three semesters of computer science at santa cruz? Anybody? Okay, give it a shot. Rose: I appreciate the vote of confidence. (She turns and goes behind the machine.) [SCENE_BREAK] Ambulance Bay; Meredith is doing a sonogram on Ray's chest inside the ambulance. Meredith: Can you see anything yet? Webber: Uh, I see the diaphragm moving. Move it up a little more. Meredith? Meredith: I'm working on it. Ray: You're not doing a very good job. Meredith: I am doing a damn fine job. Don't you worry. Ray: Can you ... can you ... can you close his eyes? Meredith: What? Ray: Stan ... can you ... can you close his eyes? Meredith (to Stan): I'm sorry ... so sorry. Webber: Meredith, um, uh, stop. Stop right there. I want to freeze that frame. Yeah, his pericardium's full of blood. Ray: That's not good. That's not good at all. Webber: Oxygen, I. V. Start kits. Arnie, monitor. Uh, you, pericardiocentesis kit. His anaty's all screwed up because he's hanging upside down. Get someone from cardio. Go. [SCENE_BREAK] Scrub Room; Bailey and Christina enter after finishing with patient Shane. Bailey: I got tucker waiting for me in the lobby, and I'm already late. Do me a favor and take the patient through the post-op? (Christina stares at her) Bailey: What? Christina: Okay, I wanted to say that when you took me off of Hahn's service today. ... George: Dr. Bailey, there's something wrong with him. His blood pressure's bottomed out. Dr. Bailey? Bailey: O'Malley ... okay, I need you to talk to tucker. I need you to ask him to wait. And he's not going to be inclined to wait, so I need you to ask him nicely. Can you please go and ask him nicely to wait? George: Yes, ma'am. Bailey: I won't be long. [SCENE_BREAK] OR; surgery on patient Jacob Hahn: You see this, Stevens? The sternum's cleaned out, which means we're almost outta here. Sloan: You don't want to stay and watch me work? Hahn: You know, it's offensive, Dr. Sloan, flat-out. Sloan: I asked you if you wanted to stay and watch me work. How's that offensive? Hahn: Oh, and now you play dumb? Does that work for you because of the way you look? Sloan: What the hell are you talking about? Hahn: I'm saying, if you were homely, you would've lost your job a long time ago. (Phone rings and is answered by a nurse) Nurse: Dr. Hahn, the chief needs you in the ambulance bay. We have a paramedic with cardiac tamponade. Hahn: All righty, then. Let's go, Stevens. [SCENE_BREAK] Nick's Room; Lexie is still holding Nick's neck and she is starting to panic Lexie: Okay. Nick, can, uh, can you reach your call button? Nick: I think so. (he reaches for it, but her fingers slip and blood starts to spurt) Lexie: No, no, no, no. Don't move that much. Okay, um, uh ... just ... can ... can you reach your phone ... without moving very much? Nick: I think so. I think so. (he slow reaches without look to the phone on the desk.) I got it. Lexie: Okay, good. Good, good, good. Okay, um, dial ... al 8, okay? Nick: okay. (he finds the button without looking) Is that ... is that 8? Lexie: Okay, okay. Put it to my ear, okay? (Nurse on the other end): hello, nurses' station. Lexie: Hi. Hi, uh, this is Dr. Grey. Um, yeah, Mr. Hanscomb's carotid just blew. Uh, c-c-can you page Dr. Sloan for me, please? A-and also Dr. Yang? And ... ah! (the artery starts to spurt some more) I'm gonna go ahead and call this a code blue. Yes, code blue. Can you announce that, please? (Nurse on the other end):Right away. Lexie: Thank you. Okay, you can put it down now. Nick: Code blue. That means I'm dead, right? I mean that's what they call when people go, like, flatline? Lexie: No. I figure we can use all the help we can get. (a team of nurses come in and start to set up in the room) [SCENE_BREAK] OR; Christina and Bailey are back in the surgery on patient Shane. A pager on a table goes off. Bailey: I don't care who it is. I don't care who it is, Jolene. I am leaving this hospital when I am finished here. I don't care if the patient is on fire. I'm not scrubbing in anywhere else. Nurse: It's Dr. Yang's. Lexie Grey is paging you 9-1-1. Dr. Yang, your intern called a code blue on a patient who apparently is not code blue. Christina: What do you mean? Why would she call a code if- - Bailey: Go find out. Christina: Well, I thought you needed me here. You said you needed me here, and that's why you pulled me off of cardio. Bailey: No, I'm fine. Go kick some intern butt. (Christina leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] Nick: How you doing, Dr. Grey? Lexie. I'm okay. You okay? Nick: Well, I'm a little freaked out if I'm being honest. Mostly 'cause you look like carrie at the prom. Seriously, you're wearing, like, half my blood. Lexie: Which is why we're hanging some more right now. Tyler: I'm having trouble getting a vein. Lexie: Why? Tyler: He's hypovolemic. His veins are flaccid. Nick: That's not a nice thing to say. That ... that's not a nice thing to say at all. Ow! okay! (He clearly was hurt with the IV line and starts to move around in pain) Son of a bitch! (Lexie is having a hard time keeping her fingers in place on his neck) Lexie: It's okay! (Christina enters) Christina : Grey, stop that bleeding. Lexie: It's okay. I ... my hand slipped. I-I got it. Nick: That ... that can't happen anymore. That can't happen anymore, okay? Christina (quietly to Lexie): Just apply steady, firm pressure. Lexie: I-I called for Sloan. Should we just take him to an O.R.? Or ... Christina; No, there's no O.R. I was just down there. Lexie: Oh. Tyler, uh, you should run and get some more blood. Just in case, okay? Christina: Keep applying pressure. I'm gonna go get Sloan. Lexie: Wait, you're leaving? Christina: I'll be right back. You can do this. You're doing this. [SCENE_BREAK] Sloan: Are you seeing this, Karev? How I'm tightening the cable by hand? Alex: Yeah. (They continue working. Sloan looks around. Sees Ava in the gallery.) Sloan: That's my face. Alex: What? Sloan: Up there in the gallery, I built that face. That's jane doe. The one with amnesia. Is she a surgeon? Alex: I don't, uh ... Sloan: Oh, you are ... you are so busted. Christina enters the OR doorway: Dr. Sloan, it's nick hanscomb. His carotid blew. Sloan: Karev, I need you to irrigate thoroughly, finish up and pack the wound. Alex: Wait, you're leaving? Sloan: He can survive without me. My other guy can't. Christina: Oh, there's no O.R. Available. Sloan: This one will be. (to Alex) I need you to get this room turned around asap. I'm bringing down my carotid bleed. [SCENE_BREAK] Waiting room; George (still in scrubs) runs in George: Tucker. Tucker: She's busy, right? She can't make lunch? George: No, she can. She can make lunch. Just a slightly later lunch. She's in surgery. Tucker: Always is. George: Yeah, it's just taking a little longer than she ex- Tucker: Always does. George: she's having a really bad day. She's saving the life of a white supremacist. This is not a good day. So she asked me to ask you if you wouldn't mind just waiting just a little while longer, please. She did say please ... which, as you may know, is not a word she uses that frequently, so ... she really is sorry. It ... this shouldn't be much longer. Tucker: Fine. But tell Miranda I said don't keep me waiting long. (beat) Please. George: Okay. (and he leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] Waiting Room; Lucy (Jacob's daughter) is looking over the shoulder of her sister Mrs. Nolston: Lucy. (Lucy moves to her mother and sits down beside her) (Izzie and Hahn enter in the background. Izzie sees Jacob Nolston's family) Izzie: Uh, if it's all right with you, I'd like to update Mr. Nolston's family and meet you in the ambulance bay. (Hahn looks at her and walks away testily. Izzie follows her.) He's your patient. Don't you want me to keep the family informed? Hahn: I want you to think like a surgeon. You're thinking like a social worker, and if you want to be a social worker, you can save yourself a lot of effort, because the training is 2 years, not 12. But if you want to be a surgeon, you ca update the family when the crisis has passed. Izzie: You're right. Absolutely. I'm sorry. I, uh... ( she takes a breath and follows Hahn into the ambulance bay) [SCENE_BREAK] Mary's OR. Everyone is still waiting. Steve returns and a nurse helps him into a gown. Derek: Steve. Steve: Uh, yes, sir? Derek: Did you bring anybody with you? Steve: Uh, no. The nurses made an announcement, and I waited, but no one came. Derek: Rose? Rose: Damn. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Derek: Rose? Rose: I don't have the steadiest hand. I need to reconnect some wires, and I don't have the steadiest hand, and when you talk to me, it is less steady. Derek: So it's about the wires? Rose: I think so. I'm pretty sure. Derek: All right. I'll do it. Rose: What? Derek: I'll do it. You said yourself you don't have steady hands. Rose: Because I'm nervous. Derek: Yeah, no, I got that. Let me take care of the wires. I'm a neurosurgeon. I have steady hands. Rose: You're holding the leads in the patient's brain. Derek: Okay. Steve, how's your hand? Is it steady? Steve: Uh, yes, sir. Derek: Good. It better be or you'll kill my patient. Hold this very, very still. Steve: Yes, sir. (Steve is now holding the wires) Derek: Very still. Good. (he moves away to a nurse) Sterile sleeves, gloves, please. (to Rose) Tell me what I've got to do. [SCENE_BREAK] OR; Bailey is operating, George returns. Bailey: You talked to tucker? George: Yes. He says as long as you're out soon, he'll wait. Bailey: (looking at the patient) Oh, mother of ... the hepatic vein was injured. (to nurse) Uh, can you check for a new murmur? Nurse: Yeah, checking now. Bailey: O'Malley, I need you to go talk to tucker. Just ask him to wait a little longer. George: But I just scrubbed in. Bailey: O'Malley! Ask him. George: Yes, ma'am. (He leaves) (Bailey is unhappy about the situation. She looks at her patient and leans towards him.) Bailey: A person can only rise so high. Now I'm rising above, but there's a ceiling, and I'm about to hit it. (a monitor starts beeping in the background.) (to the nurse) Let me guess. Air embolus? (Nurse nods solomnly) (Bailey gives a heavy sigh and looks at her patient.) [SCENE_BREAK] Ambulance Bay. Still alot of activity. Webber is preparing an IV while talking to Hahn and Izzie. Webber: We're about to start the pericardiocentesis. But with the position of his body, the blood won't be pooled to the base of the heart, so I... Hahn: I'd still use the subxiphoid rather than the parasternal. Webber: Right. Okay. Meredith, did you hear that? Meredith: Yeah. Is the kit ready yet? Webber: Yeah, I'm getting it ready for you now. Meredith: How you doing, Ray? (Ray doesn't look so good) Hahn (from a distance): Grey, you've got to be careful with this technique. If you aim the needle incorrectly, you could nick the very-thin-walled right atrium. Izzie (to Hahn): Which could cause a cardiac rupture. Hahn: A cardiac rupture, a tension pneumothorax basically there's about six different ways she could kill him. Ray (to Meredith): Are they talking about me? Meredith: No, don't listen to them, Ray. (to Hahn in a whisper) Dr. Hahn ... shut up. Hahn (to Ray): Sir, you're gonna be fine. (quietly to Izzie) Stevens, go get me an 18 gauge needle before this man's heart explodes in his chest. Izzie: Got it. (She leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] OR; Alex is trying to finish up on patient Jacob. He looks at the gallery and sees Ava and then back to his work. Callie: How you doing, Karev? Alex: Yeah, good. I'm fine. (beat) My nose itches. It itches like crazy. Callie: Yeah, that's the anxiety. You know you can't scratch it, so it itches. He squirts some water. Monitors start beeping. Callie: Whoa. What did you do? Everyone starts moving in a flurry of hands. Alex: Nothing. I was irrigating. Callie: All right, I need more suction. (to a nurse)Let's get some exposure here. Alex: It's coming from inside his chest. I think his heart's starting to bleed. (to a nurse) Hang a unit of blood. (to a nurse at the back of the room) Page Hahn and Sloan, now! Nurse: Right away (and she leaves) View of Ava in the gallery. View of the surgery from her point of view as they quickly try to control the bleeding. [SCENE_BREAK] Nick's Room; Lexie is still holding his neck. Two nurses and Tyler are setting out bandages. Christina is also there. Lexie: Tyler, could you get me more gauze, please? Yeah, sure. Nick: Why do you need more gauze? Because I'm bleeding? I'm ... I'm still bleeding? Lexie: Well, we have blood going in, too, Nick. Nick: Is it going in as fast as it's going out? I'm asking because I'm starting to feel, like, queasy ... and weak, maybe like a ... a person who's losing a lot of blood. Lexie: Okay, I'm transferring now, nick. You ready? Nick: Yeah. (Lexie picks up a pile of fresh bandages and puts it on top of his neck.) Nick: Lexie ... should I be calling people? Should I be calling my family or somebody? Lexie: I think ... I think the bleeding stopped. (in walks Sloan) Sloan: How you doing, Nick? Nick: Oh, Dr. Sloan. It's Dr. Sloan. Lexie: (obviously relieved that Sloan is here) I think the bleeding stopped. Sloan: (to Nick) You okay? - Nick: Do I ... do I look okay? Sloan: Actually, you do. Dr. Grey, looks like you got the bleeding under control. Lexie: Why would it stop? Christina: It could have been the herald bleed, which means, um, there's a possibility of it bleeding again. Sloan: But it won't, 'cause I'm gonna get it closed up before it does. Nick and Lexie: There's no O.R. Sloan: There will be in ten minutes. Dr. Grey, get a pressure dressing on this wound. Dr. Yang, get him prepped for transfer, and straight to O.R. Three. I'm gonna make sure it's cleared out. You did good work, Grey. Lexie (to Sloan as he leaves): Thank you. Nick (to Lexie): Hey. I'm in love with you now. I've forgotten entirely about my ex. (She smiles) [SCENE_BREAK] Ambulance Bay. Nurse is rushing out the doors as you hear a beeper going off. Pan to Hahn checking her pager. Hahn: Oh, come on. Are you kidding me? Webber: What? Hahn: Oh, I have a patient on the table who's . (she starts to rush off).. I gotta go. Webber: Erica ... Hahn: Uh, Stevens, page the cardio fellow, then book an O.R. Have it waiting when they get him free. (She rushes back inside.) (Izzie turns to Webber who motions her to do what Hahn asked.) [SCENE_BREAK] Hall way outside waiting area. Tucker is in a chair reading. George stops about 15 feet away, not wanting to talk to him. Then walks up and stands in front of him. Tucker looks up. Tucker: Why am I not surprised? George: Dr. Bailey is very sorry. She's very, very sorry. Tucker: I'm outta here. George: She just asked me to ask you if you could wait just a ... a little while longer. She's almost done with the surgery. It took a ... it's just more complicated than she expected, but she is almost done. Tucker: Fine, I'll wait. But you tell her I am tired, tired of her choosing everything over me and our marriage. You tell her this is the last time. I'm finished. And you tell her the only reason I'm staying here is to tell her that myself. [SCENE_BREAK] OR 3; Monitors are beeping, Sloan walks back in. Sloan: What the hell did you do, Karev? Alex: Nothing. Uh, I cut the cable. The bleeding- Sloan: You cut the cable? What, you were showing off for your girlfriend? Do you have any idea how screwed you are? Callie: It's not his fault. One of the heart graft's blew. I'm holding this guy's left coronary with a clamp. Sloan: Did somebody page Hahn? Hahn: I'm here. What the hell happened? Callie: His heart graft blew. Hahn: Oh, damn it. Alex: I think.. Sloan: The only thing I need you to do, Karev, is to stay quiet and get more suction in here. Hahn: Just hold on to that. View of all the concerned people in the gallery. [SCENE_BREAK] OR. George returns to Bailey's surgery reluctantly. Bailey: O'Malley? George: Your husband is waiting. Bailey: Good. George: He's waiting and- Bailey: - I heard you. Why aren't you scrubbed in? I could use a hand. George (in a whisper): He, uh, he said something about you choosing ... everything over your marriage. Bailey: He said that? What else did he say? George: I think that was about it. Bailey: You think or you know? George: He ... he said that this was the last time and that he was finished. Bailey: I'm in surgery, O'Malley. Did you tell him that I'm trying to save a man's life here? George: Yes. Bailey: (her voice is starting to quaver) That I want to be there with him right now, but if I were to leave, this man would die, did you tell him that? George: Yeah, yes. Bailey: You need to go back out there and tell him that I took a vow ... a vow to save lives. And he might want to member that he also took a vow ... for better or for worse. You tell him that it's his job as a husband to understand that. You tell him that I'm standing by my vow, for better or for worse. You tell him I'm holding him to his vow. You tell him if he's thinking about leaving right now, that he might find himself hurt and wounded and needing an operation, and he may not get a surgeon who is as married to her vows as I am. You tell him that. (pause) George: Can't I just do some charts? Bailey: Go. (He leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] OR; Derek and Rose are working on the monitor. Derek: It's in. Rose: It's in? Derek: Wire's in. (to Steve) Steve, are you still? Rose: Yes, sir. Very still. (Derek turns back to Rose and waits.) Rose: Stop looking at me like I killed your patient. I am not a computer technician. I did my best. I gave it a shot. Derek: You didn't do your best. Rose: Yes, I did do my best. It was my best, damn it. Derek: Shh. Calm down. Take a deep breath and think. What did you miss? What are you forgetting? (she takes a deep breath and slowly leans over the machine to his side of the console and pushes a button. It beeps and starts whirring.) Derek: You forgot the restart button? Rose (she nods): I forgot to press the restart button. View of Mary's brain on the monitor: Derek: It's working. Rose: It's working. It's working (relieved) (everyone in the room claps) Derek: Santa cruz is not just a party school. (he turns to go back to Steve) Rose: Uh, Dr. Shepherd. Derek: Yes. Rose: Uh, sleeves. (she starts to adjust them for him) [SCENE_BREAK] Nick's Room; everyone is still there bandaging Nick Nick: This was never my plan, to ... to die this way. Lexie: You're not dying, nick. Christina: You're going to the O.R. Nick: No, I know. That's what I'm saying. I mean, I think we kind of have some say, or at least a feeling. But I never had that feeling, so I can't die, right? I don't feel good. I feel ... (monitor starts beeping as he passes out) Lexie: Nick Nick... Christina: Nick, can you squeeze my hand? Lexie: Oh, my god. What happened? Christina: The blood to the right side of his brain is ... he had a stroke. It looks like he had a stroke. Okay, let's go. Let's move him carefully. Let's go. (Lexie just stands there, in disbelief, tearing up.) Christina: You can't cry, lexie. This isn't over. You can't cry. (Lexie tries to hold back her tears as Nick is wheeled out leaving a large blood stain on the floor.) [SCENE_BREAK] Ambulance Bay; Webber is on his hands and knees out side the overturned ambulance. Webber: You need to find the xiphoid process. Can you feel it? Meredith: Got it. Webber: Okay, now go two finger breadths to the left of the xiphoid. Meredith: I'm there. Webber: Here. (He hands a very large needle over to Meredith) Ray: 18 gauge. Meredith: Yeah Ray: That is a very big needle. Meredith: I know. I'm sorry. Webber: You're going to angle the needle toward the left shoulder. Don't stab. You don't want to hit the ventricle, and you don't want to drop the lung. That wouldn't help matters either. Ray: I changed my mind. I want out. Meredith: This is gonna help you, Ray. I'm gonna go on three, okay? One, two- Ray: Wait. Tell ... tell stan's wife I'm sorry. T-tell sara I'm sorry about Stan. . Meredith: Tell her yourself. One, two ... Ray: wait. Wait. Meredith: We're running out of time. Ray: Just wait.. a minute. Meredith: Okay. Webber: What's taking so long? Meredith: He's not ready. Ray: I'm trying not to be scared. I don't wanna die scared. I wanna not be scared. Webber: Ray, listen to me. It's good to be scared. It means you still have something to lose. Ray: Yeah? (to Meredith)Are you scared? Meredith: All the time. Ray: Okay. That's good. Okay. I'm ready. But don't ... don't count. Just do it. Just do it so I don't know it's ... (she stabs him and he gasps in pain) [SCENE_BREAK] OR Hahn: The infection went to his heart. His hack of a surgeon didn't check the grafts. I should've caught it. I should've checked. I missed it. Damn it. How did I miss it? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Sloan: That's fascinating, Dr. Hahn. Hahn: What? Sloan: You're as unkind to yourself as you are to everyone else. Callie: Sloan. (Christina comes in) Christina: Dr. Sloan, his artery blew again, and he appears to be having a left-sided C. V. A. Sloan: Where is he? - I ... Christina: Here. You told me to bring him here. (nurses and Lexie wheel Nick to the door but don't come in.) Sloan: Hahn, are you close? Hahn: No. Sloan: Yang, get him to a sterile procedure room. Run! Christina: Let's go. This way. Callie: Okay, I'm done. I can help. What do you want me to do? Sloan: I need an anesthesiologist, i need a nurse, I need equipment. Callie: I'm on it. (she starts out of the room) Uh, Karev, stay with Hahn. Hahn: This man has four children. He has four children. [SCENE_BREAK] Ambulance Bay; Meredith has the needle in Ray's chest. Meredith: I feel like I'm going in too far. Webber: Uh, pull back, pull back. Ray: Pull back, pull back. Meredith: Chief, what am I doing? Webber: You're too far in. There's some S. T. Elevation. Try angling more forward. Meredith: I got it. I got it. Ray? Ray: That feels good. I can almost breathe. Webber: Okay, he's almost stable. Get ready to cut him out. Meredith: All right. All right we're gonna get you outta here. We're getting you outta here right now. (Meredith moves out of the ambulance to let the firemen get into cut Ray loose. Webber looks at her and starts to guide her off to one side) Webber: oh, you're bleeding. Meredith: That's ray's blood. (the firemen are using equipment to get into the ambulance) Webber: Let me see that. You could use a couple of stitches. (He holds her arm while getting bandages) Now you stayed calm and focused and efficient in a very stressful situation. That's impressive. Meredith: I was scared. You did it anyway. Like I said ... impressive. (She looks at him gratefully as he finishes repositioning her glove. She leaves. Webber watches as Ray is pulled out of the ambulance.) [SCENE_BREAK] Nurses station. Izzie: Do not tell me that there isn't an O.R. Available. This is for the chief of surgery. There is a paramedic's life on the line. You need to find one now. Nurse: I'll see where we are. Mrs Nolston: Dr. Stevens? Thank god. How is he? Izzie: Um, I-I believe he's still in surgery, but I don't know. Mrs. Nolston: You don't know? Why ... w don't you ... you ... well, you said that you were gonna keep me informed and Izzie: ... I know. I'm sorry. I'm ... I'm on another case now. But I was gonna check back and ... Mrs. Nolston: You're on another case? Izzie: I'm sorry. Mrs. Nolston: Well, I-I-I have four kids here. I have four terrified children who think that their dad's gonna die any minute. Izzie: I, uh ... Mrs. Nolston: Did you have lousy instructors who didn't teach you how to be a good doctor, or just really bad parents who didn't teach you how to be a decent human being? (Izzie is dissappointed and at a loss for words.) Nurse: Stevens, O.R. Two is clearing out now. Izzie: Thank you. (she walks past Mrs. Nolston, sad) Mrs. Nolston (to the nurse at the station): Uh, my husband is Jacob Nolston, and he went into surgery hours ago. Could you please just find someone who can tell me whether he is dead or alive? [SCENE_BREAK] Waiting Room; Tucker and George Tucker: She said that? George: Look, if you could just wait a few more minutes, you guys could talk to each other because, you know, things get lost in translation, because, you know, this is clearly not a way to have what is obviously a very, very important conversation. Tucker: It is clearly not very important. Our marriage is falling apart, and she sends you to save it. (Tucker starts to walk out.) George: Tucker. (Tucker stops and turns.) She's in surgery. She's saving a life. She's literally saving a life, and she's gonna be here soon. Tucker: She's always saving a person's life. She'll always be here soon. You go ask her, when exactly is "soon" gonna come? (He walks away) [SCENE_BREAK] Hallway. A nurse walks by and we follow her to see Stan's wife Sara waiting. Meredith walks past her, exhausted. Sara: Excuse me. You're, um ... you're the one who came to get me, who told me about stan? Meredith: Yes. Sara: Is Ray, um ... Meredith: He's in surgery. Sara: Okay. I have to go. I have to get ... I have to get outta here, so ... look, can you tell him that, um ... that I'm sorry that I ... that I can't stay here? But I just ... I just can't come back here right now. Meredith: Ray wanted me to tell you that he's sorry, too. He's sorry he couldn't save stan. He wanted me to tell you that in case he didn't make it. Sara: You think he's not gonna make it? Meredith: I hope he makes it. But you won't be here, so ... Sara: My husband is dead. He's dead ... somewhere in this hospital. How am I supposed to ... to stay here? Meredith: I don't know. I don't know. But I know that if Ray makes it, he's gonna wake up, and he's gonna have no one. And you're gonna go home, and ... and you're gonna have ... Sara: no one. Meredith: I think it's better to have someone. Even if it hurts, even if it's the most painful thing you have to do, even if it's the most painful thing you've ever had to do, I think it's better to have someone. [SCENE_BREAK] OR Bailey: See this skin, O'Malley? It looks a little ... jagged. Does it look jagged to you? 'Cause if it is jagged, I'm going to have to reposition the incision so that it approximates more correctly. If I do that, this man's swastika tattoo might be unrecognizable. George: Yeah, it's a little jagged. Bailey: (quietly) I thought so, too. (pause) He left, right? George: Yes, he left. Bailey: 10-blade. [SCENE_BREAK] OR Monitor beeping. Izzie and Webber work on Ray. Webber: More lap pads, Stevens. Pack them all around the heart. suction. Come on, Ray. Fight. [SCENE_BREAK] OR. monitors beeping Hahn: (quietly to herself) You will not die. You will not die. You will not die. You will not die. You will not die. [SCENE_BREAK] OR Monitor beeping. Rose is looking at Mary's brain on the machine monitor. Derek: don't do this, mary. Come on. Don't do this. I need more light. Can I get more light? [SCENE_BREAK] OR Monitor flatlining. Lexie and Christina watch Sloan. Sloan. Come on. Come on. He's coding. Come on. Lexie (to herself): Live. Please live. Please. Please. Flatline monitor. [SCENE_BREAK] City skyline at night. Ray is in post-op with Webber checking him. Sara and Meredith come to the door. Sara: He looks bad. He ... he looks really bad. Webber: Well, his heart was severely damaged and his lungs were compromised. But he's young and strong, and our hope is that he'll be just fine. (Sara goes to Ray's beside) Sara (in a whisper): Ray. Ray. I'm here. (Ray's eyes open. Webber looks at Meredith) [SCENE_BREAK] post-op, Shane's Room. Shane is looking at his abdomen. His swastick is now an "S". George is taking off his gloves after having checked the stitches. George: Well, your liver had more damage than we saw on the C.T. And then we found a perforation in your bowel. But we took care of it all, and you should have a full recovery. Shane: Well,(looking at his tatoo) not a FULL recovery. Dr. Bai ...(sigh) she did this on purpose, right? (he looks at George. pause.) George: I don't understand. Uh, you have a black partner, right? - Shane: Yeah? George: Mary? Shane: Yeah? (pause.) Do you know how she is? George (surprised): Oh, you ... are you two friends? Shane: Oh, look, I'm not the devil, okay? I'm just a guy with a belief system. Mary's a nice girl. We save lives together. That's a good time. Now if she wanted to marry my brother, I'd have a problem with that, but so would a lot of people. I'm not that much different than most of the people that you know. George (while applying bandaging to his incision): Well, Dr. Bailey did save your life today. A black woman saved your life at great personal cost. So maybe next time you're looking at your tattoo, and you're thinking how much better all us white guys are than everyone else, you think about that. Because between you and me, if i had been alone in that O.R. You'd probably be dead right now. (Shane looks at him surprised.) And, uh, since we're sharing belief systems, I believe, if you were dead, the world would be a better place. (he leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] Nolston's Room. Nolston kids are asleep in chairs, beds. Alex is check his chart. Izzie walks in. Izzie: How's he doing? Oh, he's okay. The surgery was pretty hairy. He blew a graft when we were closing. But he's starting to rally. Izzie: Good. That's good. Hahn: What are you doing here? Izzie: I was just checking ... Hahn: We did just fine without your help. You mind? (Izzie leaves. Alex watches her go and then sees Ava in the hallway, waiting for him.) [SCENE_BREAK] Hallway. Bailey is looking at the board hands to her lips. Christina comes around the corner and stops. Christina: You're not heading home? Just easier at this point to stay here till tucker's asleep. Christina: You know, I rose above, too, today. Yes, you did. Christina: You were having a hard day, you were busy rising above, but so was I, which is why I haven't said anything. But now the day is over, and I'm done. Bailey: (surprised) Excuse me? Christina: You know, what you did, pulling me off of Hahn's surgery, was an abuse of power. You know, you needed help? Okay. But you used me because of the color of my skin. I mean, you compromised the quality of my education because of my color. I resent it. (she walks off. Bailey is looks up at the ceiling like she is trying to handle one more thing.) [SCENE_BREAK] Scrub Room. Derek and Rose watch Mary being wheeled out of OR as the scrub out. Rose: You saved her life. No, I fixed her brain, restored her motor skills and did a highly stressful, extremely difficult procedure. But, no, no, you saved her life. (He turns to her. She smiles. They kiss several times. ) Rose: Okay. Thanks. That was ... okay. Your voice is shaking. Rose: I'm an imperfect person. (She walks away. Derek looks after her, then turns back. Then leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] Nick's OR. Someone is mopping the blood from the floor. Tyler is covering Nick's head with a sheet. Lexie is sitting in a chair next to him. Lexie: Are his parents coming? Tyler: They're on a plane from california. You gonna wait? Lexie: Yeah, I'm gonna wait. [SCENE_BREAK] City skyline at night. Meredith in the hallway walks up to Derek. Meredith: I don't want you to date other people. It may not be enough for you, but I'm trying here. So I don't want you to date anybody but me. That's it. (He looks at her.) Except ... I'm scared as hell to want you. But here I am, wanting you anyway. And fear means I have something to lose, right? And I don't want to lose you. (Pause.) Derek: Meredith ... Meredith: Don't. Don't say anything. I'm gonna leave, and you can say something tomorrow. That's progress, right? (Derek nods. She backs away from him and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] Alex's bedroom. Alex throws his shirt on the bed and turns to Ava, pulls her in for a kiss. Ava: Are you ... are you ... are you really okay? Alex: Yeah. (he kisses her again) Ava: Alex, come on. Ava: That was intense ... intense and crazy and just awful. H-how can you be okay after a day like that? Alex just pulls her back to him and kisses him again. Ava: (pushing him away.) Alex. Alex. Why won't you talk to me? Alex: What do you want me to talk about, rebecca? How a guy almost bled out while I watched, or how I got suspended for a week 'cause you were there? Ava: Ava. It's Ava, not Rebecca. Alex: Right. You're playing dress up.You're here playing dress up. You have a husband, rebecca. You have a baby, and I have a life. That girl you were talking to earlier today when you were playing med student? I'm screwing her. And she might be a bigger wreck than I am, but at least she's not married, at least she's not gonna get me suspended, at least she's she's not trying to pretend to be somebody she's not. Ava: Alex ... Alex: No, you gotta ask yourself what you're doing here. 'Cause I think if you could get honest, if you could just tell the damn truth for one minute, I think you have to admit you're not here to talk. (They start kissing again.) [SCENE_BREAK] OR where Lexie is stilling with Nick's body. Christina walks in. Christina: You did a good job today, and it was not easy. What you did was not easy. It was brave. Lexie: We killed him. The hospital ... Sloan, us ... we were not prepared. Christina: Yeah, that happens sometimes. Lexie: That's ... do you have any idea how backwards that is? Christina: We help more than we hurt. (Lexie doesn't take comfort in this. pause.) Lexie (looking at Nick): I have no one. (Christina looks at her. View of them through the OR window.) [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge. Sloan is standing staring into space. Callie is on the couch looking at him. They both are still in scrubs, looking beat. She sits on the couch next to Callie and folds her arms. pause.) Hahn: This is gonna sound bizarre. I realize at this point that this is gonna sound bizarre, but ... any chance you people want to get a drink with me? Sloan: Why would we want to do that? Callie: She's saying she needs a friend. Sloan: Okay. Fine. Let's drink. Hahn: You won't hit on me? Sloan: I can't promise that. Hahn: If I say please? Callie: He still can't promise that. (Hahn looks at Sloan. Sloan stares back. Hahn thinks.) Hahn: Fine. (She leaves. Sloan and Callie follow her.) [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith's living room. Meredith is sitting on the couch. Christina walks in and puts a bag on a chair. Christina: hey, I brought supplies. (Meredith doesn't say anything. Christina turns and sees she is not talking. Lexie then walks in. Meredith stares at her.) MVO: Some days, the whole world seems upside down. Christina: She's got no one. (Meredith looks at her. Lexie awkardly offers up her bag of apples. Christina takes off her jacket and then looks at Meredith for approval. Meredith thinks, and then sighs, and sits up.) Meredith: I'm drinking. Are you drinking, Lexie? Lexie (relieved): Yeah, a drink would be good. (Meredith looks at her, then at Christina.) [SCENE_BREAK] Izzie's room. She is lying on the bed in her scrubs. There is a knock at the door. She looks as George walks in. He lies down next to her. George: Hey. Izzie: I was Hahn's right hand today. George: That's ... that's good, right? That's great. Izzie: I think a patient feels better if they know their kids aren't terrified. I think they're more likely to pull through surgery if they know that their wives are not panicked. I think those things matter. George: Well, they do matter. Izzie: I'm never gonna be Cristina. It's just not gonna happen. And I am never gonna be Erica Hahn. I am not ... kick-ass. George: Thank god for that. (She looks at him, thankful. Then away. pause.) Izzie: I love you. George: I love you. Izzie: We're not gonna make this work, are we? George (is a bit taken aback): Marriage is hard. I mean, even when it's right ... it's hard, and ... next time I do it, I just want it to be forever. And I don't ... I don't think it's our chemistry. I think it's our timing. But I don't think it's our chemistry. Izzie: So we're saying maybe someday? George (he kisses her sholder): Yeah, yeah, we're saying maybe someday. [SCENE_BREAK] View fades in to Meredith and Christina dancing in slow motion in the living room. Which extends to show Lexie dancing too. Izzie and George enter the living room. They turn to go when Meredith sees them. Meredith: Come on, Izzie. Dance party. Izzie: (to George) You want to dance? George: I will if, uh, you want me to. They join in the dancing, which turns slow motion again. MVO And then somehow, improbably and when you least expect it, the world rights itself again.	Plan: A: Meredith; Q: Who asks Derek not to see other people? A: the life; Q: What does Meredith work to save of a paramedic? A: inspiration; Q: What did Meredith take from Webber's advice? A: Rose; Q: Who does Derek rely on when the camera monitor breaks during a surgery? A: the middle; Q: When does the camera monitor break during a surgery? A: a kiss; Q: What does Derek and Rose share after the camera monitor breaks during a surgery? A: Alex; Q: Who is suspended for sneaking Rebecca into a surgery? A: a week; Q: How long is Alex suspended for? A: Rebecca; Q: Who did Alex sneak into a surgery to observe? A: cardio surgery; Q: What type of surgery does Izzie realize she is not cut out for? A: Tensions; Q: What reaches a breaking point between Bailey and Tucker? A: a breaking point; Q: What do the tensions between Bailey and Tucker reach? A: Cristina; Q: Who takes pity on Lexie after her actions lead to the death of a patient? Summary: Meredith works to save the life of a paramedic, after his colleague died. Meredith asks Derek not to see other people after taking inspiration from some advice Webber gave a patient. Derek has to rely on Rose after the camera monitor breaks during the middle of a surgery, which leads to the pair sharing a kiss. Alex is suspended for a week for sneaking Rebecca in to observe a surgery. Izzie realizes that she is not cut out for cardio surgery. Tensions between Bailey and Tucker reach a breaking point. Cristina takes pity on Lexie, after her actions lead to the death of a patient.
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] (Cut to: A bullet being loaded into a gun.) [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] (Cut to: A second bullet being loaded into the gun.) [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] (Cut to: The gun is loaded and closed. [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] Royce Harmon (recorded): (V.O.) My name is Royce Harmon. [EXT. RESIDENTIAL AREA (STOCK) - NIGHT] Royce Harmon (recorded): (V.O.) I reside at 7642 Carpenter Street, Las Vegas, Nevada. I am 41 years of age ... ... and I'm going to kill myself. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HALLWAY -- NIGHT] (The shadowy figure of a man holding a revolver walks down the darkened hallway.) Royce Harmon (recorded): (V.O.) I'd like to say "I love you" to my mother Paige and my sister Gina. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to put you through this. I just can't do it anymore. (The man walks out of the hallway.) Royce Harmon (recorded): (V.O.) I love you, mom ... Sound: (recorded) Gunshot. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. HARMON RESIDENCE - NIGHT] (Cop cars surround the area. OFFICERS and curious onlookers mill about. The drive way is cordoned off by crime scene tape. (Sounds of a helicopter flying overhead and a siren flipping on and off is heard.) (A bronco pulls up and stops on the road.) (SERGEANT O'RILEY stands next to another OFFICER.) Sergeant O'Riley: Here comes the "nerd squad". (JIM BRASS and GRISSOM exit the car.) Jim Brass: I hate the legwork. I'm telling you, that Deputy Chief job better come in soon. I don't know how much longer I can put up with these damn "public appearances". (They walk up the front path toward SERGEANT O'RILEY and the OFFICER next to him.) Gil Grissom: (smiles) Gentlemen ... Jim Brass: Hey, guys, take a break, huh? (They head into the house.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HARMON RESIDENCE - BATHROOM -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM steps into the darkened bathroom. He puts his kit down on the toilet and opens it. BRASS lingers in the doorway. GRISSOM takes out and puts on a pair of gloves.) Jim Brass: Suicide. Gil Grissom: You think so, huh? Jim Brass: You got the sleeping bag for easy cleanup, the bathtub to catch the bullet, open window so the stench alerts the neighbors ... god bless him. (JIM BRASS coughs. He flips the lights on. GRISSOM puts on his glasses to look at the scene.) Jim Brass: Oh, geez ... (JIM BRASS clears throat ) (GRISSOM looks around and finds something. He picks it up.) Gil Grissom: Pupa, stage three. Jim Brass: English. I'm not an entomologist. Gil Grissom: It's the third stage of larva metamorphosis. This guy's been dead seven days. (GRISSOM puts the larva into a specimen container.) Jim Brass: That's a maggot, and he stinks. Oh, good, it's almost 11:00. Maybe if I'm lucky I can break out of here in time for a shot at the first rack of the Krispy Kreme. (GRISSOM finds the microcassette tape recorder in ROYCE HARMON'S grip. He picks it up.) Gil Grissom: I think we may have our suicide note. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PAIGE HARMON'S RESIDENCE - LATER -- NIGHT] Royce Harmon: (on tape) I never wanted to put you through this. I just can't do it anymore. I've lost hope. I love you, mom ... (PAIGE HARMON and her daughter GINA listen to the tape.) Sound Cue: (on tape) GUNSHOT (They flinch at the sound.) Gina Harmon: Oh, my god! Paige Harmon: Go upstairs, Gina. (GINA HARMON stands up and leaves.) Paige Harmon: (to GINA) This can't be happening. Gil Grissom: We're so sorry about this, Ms. Harmon. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. Paige Harmon: No, you don't understand. This is his picture ... but that's not my son's voice. HARD CUT TO: END OF TEASER. ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CSI - NIGHT] (A maroon car turns into the driveway. HOLLY GRIBBS parks and exits the car. She grabs her kit and heads into the building.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (HOLLY GRIBBS turns the corner and makes her way down the hallway. She's looking for a particular office.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GIL GRISSOM'S OFFICE - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (The door opens. HOLLY GRIBBS walks into the office.) Holly Gribbs: Hello? (She looks around and grimaces at the various items on the shelves. Behind her, GRISSOM walks up to her.) Gil Grissom: Hi. (HOLLY is startled. She gasps and turns around.) Gil Grissom: Sorry. Welcome to Forensics. Gil Grissom. I'm your supervisor on graveyard. Holly Gribbs: Holly Gribbs. (They shake hands.) Holly Gribbs: Nice office. Gil Grissom: Thanks. (beat) Would you mind taking off your jacket and rolling up your sleeve? Holly Gribbs: For what? Gil Grissom: I need a pint of your blood. It's customary for all new hires. Holly Gribbs: Why? Gil Grissom: (he chuckles) So many reasons. (HOLLY takes off her jacket.) Holly Gribbs: I-I haven't even clocked in yet. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - NIGHT] (NICK takes the "SOLVED" magnet off of the WHITEBOARD and puts it directly in his column: 'NICK' over the block: CRIME #99 "UNIDENTIFIED PERSON". The others blocks in his list include: #100: ASSAULT; #98: DRUNK DRIVING; #97: RAPE; #96: ASSAULT) (NICK punches the SOLVED magnet proudly with his fist. He smiles.) Nick Stokes: (under his breath) One more, baby, one more. (NICK stares at the board proudly. WARRICK turns the corner and puts a hand on NICK'S shoulders. He turns to look at the board, too.) Warrick Brown: Hey. Nick Stokes: There he is. What's up? (WARRICK takes the "SOLVED" magnet off of the WHITEBOARD and puts it directly in his column: "WARRICK" over the block: CRIME #99: ASSAULT. The other block in his list include: #100: ASSAULT and #98: ROBBERY.) Warrick Brown: Ninety-nine. You and me, dead heat. Next crime solved gets promoted to CSI-3, man. Nick Stokes: Yeah, yeah, choice of shift, $8,000 raise, extra week vacation-- oh-ho, it's all about Cabo, bro. Warrick Brown: Twenty bucks, by the end of shift, I'm the man. Nick Stokes: Is there anything you won't bet on? Warrick Brown: Nah. It's college football season, man. I won eight of ten this weekend. Kilt 'em. Outside the Huskers and them punk-ass Irish, I'm up about four G's. Nick Stokes: Hmm, what's the line on us? Warrick Brown: On us? I'm like tiger,, man -- I'm heavily favored Nick Stokes: Come on, give me a winner for tomorrow. Warrick Brown: (sighs) Ah ... green bay, minus seven and a half over niners. Always go with the better quarterback. Nick Stokes: Uh-huh. Cool. (WARRICK walks past NICK.) Nick Stokes: Hey, good luck tonight, man. (NICK holds out his hand and they shake hands.) Warrick Brown: Thanks. You, too, Nick. I hope you get that trick and roll. You'll never crack that in a shift, never. (WARRICK walks away.) Nick Stokes: (to his retreating back) Yeah, well, we'll see, and I hope the pack wins by seven. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GRISSOM'S OFFICE - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM opens the refrigerator and puts a bottle inside. HOLLY GRIBBS holds a piece of cotton against the inside of her elbow as she's just given GRISSOM some blood.) Gil Grissom: We scrutinize the crime scene, collect the evidence recreate what happened without ever having been there. (GRISSOM closes the refrigerator door and turns around to look at HOLLY.) Gil Grissom: Pretty cool, actually. Holly Gribbs: I just got out of the academy -- I already know this. Gil Grissom: Of course you do. Then if you'll just sign these waivers for personal injury or death while in the line of duty, we can begin our shift. (GRISSOM hands her a clipboard with the forms and gives her a pen. HOLLY leans over the desk and starts to sign the papers. She gets dizzy and stops.) Holly Gribbs: Mmm... Gil Grissom: What's the matter? Holly Gribbs: Um ... I'm kind of light-headed. Gil Grissom: Sit down, sit down. You're probably low on blood sugar. I've got just the thing. (GRISSOM turns around and reaches into the refrigerator. There between the jar with the yellow liquid and the jar with the green sample, he takes out the jar with something black inside.) (He opens it and offers it to HOLLY.) Gil Grissom: Here, try one of these. Holly Gribbs: No offense, but I don't think I want to eat anything that's been in this office. (GRISSOM pulls the jar away from her and looks at her. HOLLY reaches in the jar and takes one out. She examines it. GRISSOM also takes one.) Holly Gribbs: Is there a grasshopper in here? (Looking directly at HOLLY, GRISSOM pops the grasshopper into his mouth and chews. HOLLY grimaces.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CONFERENCE ROOM -- NIGHT] (Everyone sits at the conference table. BRASS prepares to hand out assignments.) Jim Brass: When we get some free time, try and catch up on your reports. I'm getting a lot of heat from the sheriff's office. There, I said it. Administration, not my favorite thing. All right, here we go. Nick Stokes, 414, trick roll. Victim found drugged and robbed at the scene. (NICK winces at the assignment.) Jim Brass: Warrick Brown, 407, home invasion, forced entry. Person reporting crime fired multiple rounds at the suspect. Suspect's condition is ... (BRASS glances up and sees HOLLY.) ... unknown. Anyone seen Catherine Willows? [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MINI-VAN (PARKED) -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE parks the car.) (Cut to: CATHERINE opens the car sliding door. Inside belted in the back seat is LINDSEY WILLOWS. Catherine Willows: Okay, give me a kiss. Mommy's got to go catch some bad guys. (CATHERINE kisses LINDSEY.) Catherine Willows: (to her sister) I'll pick her up in the morning. Catherine's Sister: Okay. Catherine Willows: Bye, sis. Catherine's Sister: Bye. Catherine Willows: (yells) I love you! (The car leaves. CATHERINE stands there for a moment, then rushes into the building.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CAPTAIN BRASS' OFFICE - LATER -- NIGHT] (JIM BRASS is in his office. HOLLY GRIBBS stands in front of his desk.) Jim Brass: So your mother is Lieutenant Jane Gribbs from Traffic, is that right? Holly Gribbs: (smiles) Yes, sir. Jim Brass: Well, Congratulations, Gribbs. (GRISSOM is also in the office. He takes a seat at the couch. BRASS holds out her file.) Jim Brass: You're the fifth person I've been forced to hire. We're the number two crime lab in the country. We solve crimes most labs render unsolvable. Now what makes you think you belong here? (HOLLY glances at GRISSOM. When it's apparent that he's not going to answer for her, HOLLY turns back to BRASS.) Holly Gribbs: Sir, with all due respect I thought the key to being a lucid crime scene investigator was to reserve judgment until the evidence vindicates or eliminates assumption. (BRASS glances at GRISSOM and smiles.) Holly Gribbs: You're prejudging me. I graduated with honors in criminal justice at UNLV. Jim Brass: (flippantly) Yeah, so? Holly Gribbs: That's not fair. Jim Brass: Fair? Well, you think putting a juiced-in Lieutenant's daughter on this shift is fair? You know, I've been in the field 22 years. I've seen it all. I've seen people like you come and go, and you know what? They don't amount to nothing but headaches and bad press. Dismissed. (BRASS takes a seat at his desk.) Holly Gribbs: Fine. (HOLLY leaves the office.) Gil Grissom: Think you got through to her? Jim Brass: You're scheduled to appear at an autopsy at 12:30 A.M. (GRISSOM stands up.) Jim Brass: They're cutting up that bozo put a hole in his chest. Take her with. I think every new hire should experience an autopsy on their first night. (GRISSOM turns to leave the office.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] (CATHERINE and WARRICK cross under the crime scene tape and make their way to the front of the house.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOME - SUMMERLIN - FOYER -- NIGHT] (The front double doors and open wide. Sprawled in the middle of the foyer is the dead body. CATHERINE looks down at it.) (She looks up and sees the HUSBAND, WIFE and BABY standing in the middle of the living room. She and WARRICK both put their kits down on the ground as they prepare to get to work. CATHERINE looks up at the WIFE holding the BABY.) Wife: It's okay, shh. Catherine Willows: Ma'am ... are you all right? Husband: She's fine. She's just a little shook up is all. Warrick Brown: Somebody want to tell us what happened here tonight? Husband: My wife invited her drunk friend to stay here so he could get back on his feet. Two weeks tops, she says. That was six months ago. (Quick flashback to: The BABY'S screaming. JIMMY, the friend, sits on the couch laughing and watching tv. The HUSBAND walks into the house and picks up the CHILD.) Husband: Jimmy, Jimmy! Please take your sweaty feet off the head pillow. They stink. (JIMMY throws the glass on the floor and it breaks.) (Cut to: The HUSBAND tosses JIMMY out of the house. Cut to: The HUSBAND hands JIMMY his bags. Cut to: The HUSBAND gives JIMMY some money.) Husband: (to JIMMY) Here's a 20-- twice as much as you came with. Hit the road. (Cut to: JIMMY pounds on the closed front door.) Jimmy: Open up! (JIMMY grabs the door handles and tries to open the locked doors. He screams at the closed door.) (Cut to: Inside, The HUSBAND loads his gun and stares at the front door. JIMMY continues to scream and pound on the door.) (Cut to: JIMMY takes a step back and kicks the door open. He walks uninvited into the house. The HUSBAND gets the gun loaded. His WIFE screams.) (The HUSBAND aims and fires.) The Husband: Call 911. (The CHILD cries in the background.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Husband: That was it. I feared for my wife and my baby. Let's put the baby to bed. (They head out of the room.) Catherine Willows: What do you think? Warrick Brown: Oh, he's lying. That's why I took this job. I can always tell when whitey's talking out his ass. It's a gift. (CATHERINE puts the camera down and looks at WARRICK. She smiles.) Catherine Willows: It's also your 100th. Warrick Brown: Yeah, that, too. So tonight you might say I'm extra suspicious. (CATHERINE takes a picture of the shoe print on the front door.) Catherine Willows: Why don't you print that tread and see how good you are? (CATHERINE hands WARRICK a tape. He takes the shoe print. CATHERINE takes another picture of the door. WARRICK crosses over to the door to computer the two.) (From the side, the HUSBAND watches.) Husband: Why are you doing that? Warrick Brown: It's just procedure, sir. We just want to make sure the shoe on the suspect is the same shoe that kicked down your door. (CATHERINE looks at the shoes and stops.) Catherine Willows: Wait ... wait a minute. Warrick Brown: What's the matter? Catherine Willows: Sir, after you shot the deceased, did you move re-dress, or alter the body in any way? Husband: No, why? Warrick Brown: Talk to me. Catherine Willows: The left shoe's tied differently. Sir, in the six months that the victim lived with you did you ever wear his shoes? Husband: No, why would I do that? Warrick Brown: You willing to sign a statement to that effect? Husband: Sure. Catherine Willows: Sir, what happened to your pinkie toe? (He glances down at the band-aid on his toe.) Husband: I tripped over a rattle. (CATHERINE smiles at the thought.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT] (DR. KLAUSBACH pulls the sheet back from the body. HOLLY GRIBBS reacts to the smell and puts the mask on to cover her nose and mouth.) Gil Grissom: You got to breathe through your ears, Gribbs. Dr. Klausbach: First dead body, Ma'am? Holly Gribbs: Yes, sir, but I'll be okay. To tell you the truth, he looks fake. Dr. Klausbach: I hate to put a damper on your night, Grissom but it looks like we got ourselves a homicide after all. Gil Grissom: You see, if the victim had extended his arms like ... here, I'll show you. Give me your hands. (HOLLY holds out her hands. GRISSOM grabs them and holds them over the body.) Gil Grissom: And pushed the trigger with his thumbs, like so ... Cue Sound: GUNSHOT (Quick CGI to: Top camera view of the body's chest. The camera plunges downward toward the chest and into the chest. The camera pulls back.) Gil Grissom: (V.O.) The wound would look like this. (End of CGI. Resume to present.) Dr. Klausbach: He's right, honey. This wound's too big. This person was shot from six to seven feet away. It's like somebody stood over him and, bam! (DR. KLAUSBACH holds his hand over the body as if he's holding a gun with his index finger pointed downward. He 'fires'.) Cue Sound: GUNSHOT (Quick CGI to: Top camera view of the body's chest. The camera plunges downward toward the chest and into the chest. The camera pulls back.) Dr. Klausbach: (V.O.) Criminal homicide. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Dr. Klausbach: Let's see what god would have to say. (DR. KLAUSBACH starts the Y-incision. HOLLY starts to feel queasy. GRISSOM notices her discomfort.) Gil Grissom: Are you okay? Holly Gribbs: I'm sorry, sir. I can't take the smell. Oh, god, restroom? Dr. Klausbach: (points) Right down the hall to your right. (HOLLY leaves the room.) Dr. Klausbach: (to GRISSOM) She is cute. [SCENE_BREAK] [HALLWAY] (HOLLY steps out into the hallway. She desperately looks for the door to the right. She finds it, opens it and enters.) [INT. CSI - CORONER'S OFFICE - DECOMP AREA -- NIGHT] (HOLLY shuts the door behind her. It clicks shut. She takes a step forward and throws up in the middle of the floor.) (She coughs and wipers her mouth.) (She gets control over herself and straightens. She takes a deep breath and finally realizes where she really is. The room is full of cadavers on gurneys under plastic sheets.) (HOLLY takes a step toward the door and inadvertently pulls off one of the plastic sheets to the cadaver nearest her. She also realizes that the door is well closed and locked shut.) CUT BACK TO: [INT. CSI - FORESNIC AUTOPSY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (DR. KLAUSBACH continues on with the autopsy with GRISSOM watching. The camera moves a little toward the monitor showing HOLLY in the morgue with the bodies. She's still trying to get the front door open.) Dr. Klausbach: How soon does the captain want that one out? (GRISSOM glances at his watch.) Gil Grissom: Eight hours. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CORONER'S OFFICE - DECOMP AREA - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (HOLLY continues to try to get the door open. She's not successful. She turns around and finally sees the uncovered decomposing body on the gurney.) (She gasps.) (She turns around and starts pounding on the locked door. Holly Gribbs: (screaming) Help! Help me! (She pounds on the door.) (Cut to: GRISSOM opens the door for her. She rushes out of the room and grabs his arm pulling him into the hallway.) Holly Gribbs: (gasping) There were bodies. I could feel them breathing. Oh, god! (GRISSOM puts his arms around HOLLY and holds her.) Gil Grissom: It's okay, Holly, it's all right. (He turns around and yells through the glass in the door to the decomposing dead bodies on the gurneys inside.) Gil Grissom: (muffled) You assholes!! (He turns back to HOLLY. She smiles at the gesture.) Gil Grissom: There. FADE TO BLACK [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTOWN HOTEL - CORRIDOR -- NIGHT] (NICK walks down the hallway. He meets up with the HOTEL SECURITY GUARD.) Nick Stokes: What's up, fellas? We got a call about a trick roll. Hotel Security Guard: Right there. Room 1413. (The GUARDS leave. NICK turns to look for ROOM 1413.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOTEL - ROOM 1413 - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Inside the room, OFFICERS finish taking the statement of the man sitting on the bed in his underwear. As they walk out, NICK STOKES walks in.) Nick Stokes: (to the OFFICERS) Hey. (NICK walks into the room.) Nick Stokes: Mr. Laferty? Mr. Laferty: Well, what's left of him, anyway. (NICK puts his bag down and takes off his jacket.) Nick Stokes: I'm Nick Stokes, with criminalistics. You mind if I ask you a few questions? Mr. Laferty: She got everything -- my wallet, my id ... hell, she even got my wedding ring. Nick Stokes: Did you two have a nightcap? You think she could've slipped you something? (NICK pulls up a chair and sits down.) Mr. Laferty: Nah, I can't drink. I got this bum ticker. Look, officer, I ... Nick Stokes: Nick. You can call me nick. Mr. Laferty: Nick, I ... I love my wife. We've been married 31 years now. I've never cheated on her before. I come into town for this convention and I'm setting in the lounge minding my own business, when this ... sweet-smelling brunette came up to me and ... next thing I know, she's nibbling on my earlobe and ... (Quick flashback to: MR. LAFERTY with the BRUNETTE on his arm. They're laughing.) (Cut to: The BRUNETTE in her underwear comes out of the bathroom. MR. LAFERTY is sitting on the bed in his underwear.) Mr. Laferty: Well, my goodness. Look at you. (The BRUNETTE stands in front of him and takes off her top. He starts to nuzzle her breast. She waits.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Mr. Laferty: For a second there, I thought I was your age again. Nick Stokes: We've been seeing more and more of these the past 48 hours. Let's take a look. Open your eyes wide for me. Sunny side up. (NICK takes out his flashlight and checks MR. LAFERTY'S eyes.) Nick Stokes: Now say "ah." (MR. LAFERTY opens his mouth and says, "ah".) Mr. Laferty: Ah. Nick Stokes: Was she hot? (Mouth open, MR. LAFERTY gives a chuckle and moans at the memory.) Nick Stokes: Attaboy. (NICK sits back.) Nick Stokes: Mr. Laferty, your eyes look okay but I notice some discoloration around the inside of your lips. Have you always had that? (MR. LAFERTY cranes his neck to look at his lips in the mirror behind NICK.) Mr. Laferty: No. What the hell is that? Nick Stokes: I'll swab your gums see if we can find out what made you pass out. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. JUNK'S LIQUOR STORE (STOCK) - NIGHT] (The pathfinder pulls up to the front of the liquor store.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PATHFINDER - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM stops the car.) Gil Grissom: You know, my first robbery solved was a store like this. When we caught the guy, the owner was so happy that he gave me a dozen farm fresh eggs out of his cooler. Holly Gribbs: You're trying to cheer me up, aren't you? Gil Grissom: Yes, I am. How am I doing? Holly Gribbs: Pretty good. Gil Grissom: Good. Okay, look, this was a routine robbery. Dust for prints, check the videotape take lots of fun photos. I'll be back in about an hour to pick you up. Holly Gribbs: Okay. (HOLLY gets out of the car.) Gil Grissom: If you get done early use channel seven on your walkie. (GRISSOM pulls out of the parking lot. HOLLY heads inside the liquor store.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (BOE WILSON walks into the lab. WARRICK is at the table looking through a scope.) Boe Wilson: What's up? Warrick Brown: Hey, rookie. Hair fibers from the home invasion. Take a look. (WARRICK stands up and move aside. BOE WILSON sits down and looks through the scope.) Warrick Brown: Tell me what you see. SCOPE VIEW: CAMERA VIEW of the hair follicles. Boe Wilson: I see a lot of things. Warrick Brown: Look at the end of the follicles. SCOPE VIEW: ENHANCED CAMERA VIEW of the hair follicles. Boe Wilson: Oh, yeah, you know, I see, like little tiny seeds or sacs or something. Warrick Brown: That's pulp when the human hair is yanked out like this. (WARRICK reaches up and pulls out a strand of BOE WILSON'S hair.) Boe Wilson: Ow! Damn, man. (WARRICK shoes the hair end to BOE.) Warrick Brown: Look, you see the seeds? (Camera zooms in for a close up of the hair follicle. Resume view.) Warrick Brown: Hair only comes out in that form when it's yanked or pulled signifying a struggle. (Something occurs to WARRICK. He puts it down and moves toward the front door.) Warrick Brown: You know what? I got to go. Tell Grissom, when he gets back I went to homicide to do a follow-up on the husband. Peace. Boe Wilson: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JUNK'S (CONVENIENCE STORE) -- NIGHT] (HOLLY GRIBBS dusts for fingerprints. Behind her the owner of the liquor store appears and starts yelling for her to hurry up.) Liquor Store Owner: Now, how long is this gonna take? I'm losing business because of you. Holly Gribbs: Ma'am, I told you, if you let them in it will contaminate the scene. Liquor Store Owner: Oh, contaminate, my ass! What the hell difference does it make? You ain't gonna catch 'em. You never do. (HOLLY continues to dust for prints.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (WARRICK interviews the HUSBAND.) Warrick: Sir, I'm on your side. I just want to clear you. Husband: Then clear me. I already told you everything. Warrick: I understand that. But the evidence is telling us something different. So I'm going to ask you again, just one more time -- before you shot the deceased did a struggle ensue? (Quick flashback to: A woman screams. The HUSBAND holds the gun up. JIMMY continues to advance forward toward him.) Husband: I've got a gun. (JIMMY grabs the HUSBAND. The two fight. In the struggle, JIMMY'S shoes come off.) Wife: What are you doing? (JIMMY throws THE HUSBAND to the floor. JIMMY advances toward them again. THE HUSBAND stands up and fires. THE WIFE shrieks.) Husband: Call 911. (When the WIFE goes to call 911, THE HUSBAND looks at the body and notices that the shoes are off. He puts the gun down and puts the shoes back on JIMMY.) (In the background, a CHILD cries.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Husband: I must've tied the laces wrong. I'm sorry, I ... I know I should've told you earlier but ... I was nervous. I mean ... I took a man's life here. You don't believe me, do you? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JUNK'S (CONVENIENCE STORE) -- NIGHT] (HOLLY is in the store on her walkie-talkie.) Holly Gribbs: This is Holly Gribbs requesting backup at Junk's on West Owens, over. Catherine Willows: (over receiver) This is Catherine Willows. Are you in danger? Holly Gribbs: Uh, we're getting there. (In front of HOLLY, the LIQUOR STORE OWNER holds a gun on her.) Liquor Store Owner: (screaming) This is my popsicle stand -- I'll defend it to the hilt if I have to! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB --NIGHT] (GREG takes NICK'S swab and processes it.) Greg Sanders: So, this is it, huh? The $8,000 q-tip. Nick Stokes: Well, you're the chemist. I just need to know what knocked the old man out. Greg Sanders: In 20 seconds, this'll give us a complete chemical breakdown right down to the atom. But I'm going to warn you, though. These mouth swabs don't always read. Vaginal swabs, no problem. al swabs-- money. Nick Stokes: al swabs? Greg Sanders: a**l swabs. (NICK sits down in the nearest chair.) Nick Stokes: Ouch. (GREG runs the machine and takes a seat next to NICK.) Nick Stokes: Dude, you get NFL-2K for Dreamcast? Greg Sanders: Yeah. Bought it the day it came out. Those graphics are killer, aren't they? My team's the Falcons. Who do you use? Nick Stokes: Randy Moss. (The machine whirs and beeps. GREG takes the results and reads it.) Nick Stokes: It didn't take, did it? Greg Sanders: A hint of saliva; some denture adhesive ... that's it. (GREG hands the swab back to NICK.) Greg Sanders: Sorry, man. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JUNK'S (CONVENIENCE STORE) -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE opens the front door with her gun drawn.) Catherine Willows: All right, put the gun down. Liquor Store Owner: What? We're getting robbed again now? (She puts the gun down on the open cash register. She puts her arms up.) Catherine Willows: Everything okay here? Holly Gribbs: Yes, ma'am. (CATHERINE takes the gun from the cash register and gives it to HOLLY.) Catherine Willows: (to radio) Control, Junk's is a code four. Officer: (from radio) Copy that. Catherine Willows: You the new girl? Holly Gribbs: Yeah. Hi, I'm Holly Gribbs. Catherine Willows: Thanks. I'm Catherine Willows. Liquor Store Owner: And I'm Lesley Stahl. Look, let's forget the formalities. Which one of you people's gonna clean my counter here? Catherine Willows: Let me tell you something, Lady -- if you don't care about catching the suspect neither do we. We're out of here. You can pick your gun up tomorrow. (CATHERINE turns and heads back out the front door. HOLLY follows her.) Holly Gribbs: (to CATHERINE) You can do that? Catherine Willows: (scoffs) No. (The LIQUOR STORE OWNER shoves the cash register drawer closed. She looks at her hand.) Liquor Store Owner: Ow! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM swings the golf club directly down on the head of the gummy on the shelf. The blood attached to the head bursts upon impact leaving spatter against the paper hanging against the wall. GRISSOM kneels to look at the spatter.) Warrick Brown: Damn! Gil Grissom: Blunt force trauma case. Bermuda hills country club. Pregnant wife caught her husband in bed with another girl. What do you think? Malicious intent? Warrick Brown: Little bit, yeah. (GRISSOM takes a picture of the spatter.) Warrick Brown: How's it coming? Gil Grissom: It's coming. Warrick Brown: Whose blood is that? Gil Grissom: The new girl's. Would you like to donate? Warrick Brown: Hell, no. (GRISSOM takes the record book and sits down behind his desk. He logs into the book.) Gil Grissom: How'd the follow-up go with the husband? Boe tells me you were onto something. Warrick Brown: The story's changed a bit. Now he says there was a struggle. Said he stepped on his shoe while they were fighting. Gil Grissom: You believe him? Warrick Brown: At first, no but now ... hell, I don't know what to think. Gil Grissom: You ever see the movie "The Exorcist"? Warrick Brown: Yeah. Gil Grissom: The old priest and Father Karras are about to exorcise the demon. Father Karras explains that he's recorded the little girl's voice and he's broken down the spirit into three distinct personalities. But the old priest quickly corrects him -- "there is only one." (beat) Gil Grissom: Forget about the husband, Warrick. Forget about the assumptions. Forget about your promotion. These things will only confuse you. Concentrate on what cannot lie -- the evidence. Follow ... the reason we're having this conversation. Warrick Brown: (nods) Follow the shoe. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - EVIDENCE ROOM -- NIGHT] (WARRICK opens the evidence package and takes out the shoe.) (He sits down and examines the shoe. After several dissolves, WARRICK opens the lip of the shoe and looks inside. He finds something.) Warrick Brown: Well, I'll be damned. (He tips the shoe over and a piece of toe nail falls out onto the table. He picks it up.) Warrick Brown: Tripped over a rattle, my ass. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB] (CHARLOTTE, the PRINT LAB Tech, places the tape recorder under the special light, a visible print can be seen.) Charlotte: Remember this from your suicide case? Minute I pulled it, I knew something wasn't right. (GRISSOM leans in to look at the recorder.) Charlotte: The impression's perfect -- maybe too perfect. (She takes the recorder and puts it under the scope for a better view of the print.) Charlotte: Take a gander. (CHARLOTTE steps back and lets GRISSOM look through the scope.) SCOPE VIEW of the print with red dots on it. Gil Grissom: What are those red particles? Charlotte: Latex flakes. (GRISSOM looks at CHARLOTTE.) Gil Grissom: From what? Charlotte: Protective gloves, maybe but the way I figure it, this son of a bitch is smart -- probably planted the damn prints. So on a hunch, I chemically tested the flakes. Guess what it was laced with? (GRISSOM shrugs.) Charlotte: Lecithin. Gil Grissom: That chemical's found in cooking spray isn't it? (CHARLOTTE nods.) Gil Grissom: (ponders) If latex rubber and cooking spray went on a blind date, how would the night end? Charlotte: A lot better than ours did. Gil Grissom: I know, Pink Floyd's not your thing. Charlotte: I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes you think "Dark Side of the Moon" synched to the Wizard of Oz is going to warm my damn barn? Gil Grissom: I just thought it'd be something different. Charlotte: You want to be different? Pin me up against a wall; lay one on me like you mean it. (CHARLOTTE gets up and walks past GRISSOM.) Charlotte: You're slacking, pal. (She sits down in front of the computer database. The computer beeps and starts running through print comparisons.) Gil Grissom: How long till we get a hit? Charlotte: It could be four minutes, could be four days but you can bet your ass she'll give you something. She always does. Gil Grissom: "Pin you against a wall?" (GRISSOM casts CHARLOTTE a sideways glance.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COFFEE SHOP/DINER -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE WILLOWS and HOLLY GRIBBS sit at a table.) Holly Gribbs: Look, um, I got to be honest. This isn't me. I was pushed into it by my mom. She's a Lieutenant in Traffic. She's never going to get out of traffic so, um, I'm fulfilling her dreams, not mine. Catherine Willows: I can sit here and I can baby you and I can tell you to quit but I'm not going to do that, because I really love my job. We're just a bunch of kids that are getting paid to work on puzzles. Sometimes there's a piece that's missing. Sometimes we solve it in one night. Holly Gribbs: So you think I should stick with it? Catherine Willows: Stick with it? The cops? Forget it. They wouldn't know fingerprints from paw prints and the detectives ... chase the lie. We solve. We restore peace of mind and when you're a victim, that's everything. Stick with it. At least until you solve your first and if after that you don't feel like King Kong on cocaine ... then you can quit, but if you stay with it my hand to god, you will never regret it. Dispatcher: (over radio) Catherine Willows, cut your lunch short. You got a Catherine Willows: (to radio) Copy. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CAPTAIN BRASS' OFFICE -- NIGHT] (WARRICK BROWN stands in front of JIM BRASS' desk.) Jim Brass: If you want me to call Judge Cohen at 4:00 in the morning you'd better bring me something more than a damn toenail. Warrick Brown: Captain, you've got to make that call. If you don't, he'll walk. Jim Brass: And what do you got? Hair fibers. Big deal. So there was a struggle. I mean, who gives a corn cob? The guy was protecting his wife and kid. Warrick Brown: I've got the toenail. If I can get a warrant and match the husband's shaving to his toe I can prove that the suspect's foot was inside the victim's shoe. That alone will establish it was murder. Jim Brass: The guy lived there, Warrick! Maybe he put on the victim's sneaker and fetched the paper one morning. Warrick Brown: I have a sworn statement stating he never wore the victim's shoe. Jim Brass: You don't even know the toenail was the vic's. Warrick Brown: It can't be the vic's. He was wearing socks. Jim Brass: Not good enough. Warrick Brown: Not good enough? (BRASS rises from his chair.) Jim Brass: Look, I said no, Brown, damn it! (The phone rings. WARRICK turns to leave the office BRASS stops him.) Jim Brass: Hey, we're not done, Warrick. You stay right there. (BRASS answers the phone.) Jim Brass: Criminalistics, Brass. Gil Grissom: (from phone) We've got a name on the suicide case, sir. He's local. (BRASS looks at WARRICK. They make eye contact and BRASS smirks.) Jim Brass: He's local, good. I'll phone the judge for a warrant. (WARRICK gapes at hearing that. BRASS hangs up. Having gotten the response he wanted from WARRICK, BRASS dismisses him.) Jim Brass: Hey, Warrick, I guess we're all done now. Hey, do you mind closing the door behind you? I got to make an important call. (WARRICK storms angrily out of the office. He shuts the door behind him.) Jim Brass: We'll talk about your little foot fetish later. (BRASS picks up the phone.) Jim Brass: (to phone) Judge Cohen, please ... [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STREET NIGHT] (OFFICERS surround a damaged vehicle that crashed into the sidewalk in front of a hotel. NICK STOKES walks up to the OFFICERS.) Officer Smith: A white female, mid-20s. Said she passed out behind the wheel. Thought you might want to check it out. Nick Stokes: (to OFFICER SMITH) All right. Thanks, brother. (NICK continues toward the car. He puts his bag down and approaches the driver's window. Inside a groggy woman with a cut on her forehead looks at him.) Nick Stokes: Hi. Nick Stokes, criminalistics. Mind if I take a look? (NICK leans in through the open car window.) Kristy Hopkins: (moans) I don't know what happened. I remember this song that was playing on the radio. I just don't remember passing out. (NICK raises hi flashlight.) Nick Stokes: Say "ahhh..." (She's taken aback by the request.) Kristy Hopkins: What? Nick Stokes: You know, ahhh ... (he opens his own mouth) ... ah ... ? (She laughs. She leans forward, opens her mouth and says "ahh".) Kristy Hopkins: Ahhh ... (NICK checks it out.) Nick Stokes: No discoloration. (She shakes her head.) I don't see anything criminal here. (NICK straightens and speaks to OFFICER SMITH standing out of camera frame. He points to his forehead.) Nick Stokes: Take her to the hospital have her checked out. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. JUDGE COHEN'S RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (Sitting inside his car outside JUDGE COHEN'S residence, WARRICK stares at the mansion and sighs.) Warrick Brown: (mutters) Well, might as well roll the dice; take that ass-whooping. (He opens the car door and gets out of the car.) (Behind him, an OFFICER car pulls up the driveway. He siren flicks on and off. WARRICK groans and turns around slowly.) (The OFFICER car stops. OFFICER ARVINGTON gets out of the car, stands behind the open car door with his gun drawn.) Officer Arvington: Police! Put your hands on top of your head and walk backwards towards me. (WARRICK complies.) Warrick Brown: I'm ID. Check the badge. I'm from Criminalistics. Officer Arvington: Keep your mouth shut and follow my instructions. (In front of WARRICK, the front door opens. JUDGE COHEN walks outside.) Officer Arvington: Now get down on your knees. Warrick Brown: I'm not getting down on my knees for anybody. You can shoot me. Officer Arvington: I said get down on your knees! Judge Cohen: Hey! What the hell are you doing? That's Warrick Brown from ID. Put those guns away. Officer Arvington: Sorry, Judge, we got a call from a neighbor about a black man outside your house. We responded. Judge Cohen: All right, you caught him. Congratulations. Clear out of here before you wake the neighbors. Officer Arvington: Yes, sir. (to radio) Dispatch, please be advised Judge Cohen's residence, a code 4: False alarm. (WARRICK turns to look at the JUDGE.) Judge Cohen: Brown, what the hell are you doing? Warrick Brown: I'm sorry, Judge. Captain Brass wouldn't call you for a search warrant. I got a whopper on the line with a 100-pound test. Judge Cohen: You got a winner for me? (WARRICK laughs.) Judge Cohen: I'll make it worth your while, you give me a name. Warrick Brown: Favre. Judge Cohen: Oh, I knew it. Listen, kid, I'll make a deal with you. You put $5,000 down on the Pack for me I'll give you a blank warrant. All I ask is that you have the ticket in my chambers before kickoff. You do that, I'll square it with your Captain. Warrick Brown: No problem, Judge. (They shake hands.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (PAUL MILLANDER looks at the photo.) Paul Millander: A staged suicide?. You're kidding, right? I swear on my kids I've never seen that man before in my life. Sergeant O'Riley: Then how the hell did your fingerprints wind up at the scene? We talked to the family. The deceased didn't even know any Paul Millander's. (The door opens.) Gil Grissom: Oh, I ... hi, Sergeant. Would you mind if I, uh ... ? Sergeant O'Riley: Oh, you want a whack at him, Grissom be my guest. (GRISSOM holds out his hand.) Gil Grissom: Hi, Mr. Millander. (They shake hands.) My name's Gil Grissom. (GRISSOM sits down.) I work in Criminalistics. May I ask you a few questions? Paul Millander: Sure. Gil Grissom: Do you have any hobbies? Make model airplanes, make toys wind chimes for the backyard, that sort of thing? Paul Millander: No, why? Gil Grissom: Well, we found some particles of latex on your thumbprint. Would you have any reason to have access to that particular substance? Paul Millander: Well, yeah. Yeah, sure. At-at my job. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOLLOWEIRD -- NIGHT] (The front door opens in the HOLLOWEIRD Warehouse. GRISSOM, PAUL MILLANDER and SGT. O'RILEY walk inside.) Gil Grissom: Wow, you made all these? Paul Millander: Yes, sir, everything from scratch. We mold, carve, shape, paint and authenticate. Gil Grissom: Excellent work. These seem very real. Paul Millander: Thanks. Gil Grissom: You ever make any rubber hands? Paul Millander: Sure, we do, uh ... (PAUL MILLANDER looks around, then takes out a box from under the shelf. He pulls out a latex severed hand and gives it to GRISSOM.) Paul Millander: (proudly) This is our best seller right here. Sold 10,000 of those units last Halloween. Even used my own hand for the mold. Gil Grissom: These are your prints. Paul Millander: Yeah, why? What does that mean? Gil Grissom: It means you're free to go. He's not the guy. Sergeant O'Riley: Grissom, are you sure? (GRISSOM looks at the latex hand.) Gil Grissom: This explains the latex and the lecithin. (Quick flashback to: The latex hand. Cooking spray is sprayed onto the fingertips.) Gil Grissom: (V.O.) You need oil to make a print. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Gil Grissom: Anyone who purchased one of these hands could be the killer ... (realizes) ... and what's worse, he's proficient in forensics. HARD CUT TO BLACK. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY -- MORNING] (NICK turns the corner and catches up with DR. LEEVER. They walk down the hallway together.) Nick Stokes: Hey, Dr. Leever! Dr. Leever: Hey, what's up, man? Nick Stokes: I got your page. Dr. Leever: Have you had any trick rolls lately? Nick Stokes: A ton of 'em. Why? Dr. Leever: I've had six pros come through the ER in the past two nights all with two distinct similarities. Every girl has been mysteriously knocked unconscious and we found some skin discoloration. (This stops NICK.) Nick Stokes: Whoa. whoa. Skin discoloration? (He turns to look at DR. LEEVER.) Nick Stokes: Where? Their lips? Dr. Leever: No, their nipples. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - EXAM ROOM - MORNING -- CONTINUOUS] (The curtain is pushed aside. KRISTY HOPKINS sits on the exam table. She looks up and sees NICK.) Nick Stokes: We meet again ... may I see your discoloration? Kristy Hopkins: You wanna give me 20 bucks? Nick Stokes: You wanna do time? (KRISTY HOPKINS looks at NICK and rolls her eyes. She pulls down her dressing gown. NICK pulls the curtain a little closer, then leans in to examine her skin discoloration. When he's through, he looks at her and nods.) Nick Stokes: You know, I just came from a trick roll downtown. The victim's mouth had similar blotching. Chances are, whatever he ingested orally you absorbed through your nipples knocking you both out. So I'll give you a choice. You give back the old man his belongings, you tell me what you girls are using and I won't have you charged with attempted murder. (She looks at him, surprised.) Nick Stokes: Which is it? (She rolls her eyes and sighs. She reaches into her bag, pulls out a small bottle and hands it to NICK.) Nick Stokes: Eyedrops? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CHEMICAL ANALYSIS DEPARTMENT -- MORNING] (GREG holds up the eye drop bottle and explains it to NICK.) Greg Sanders: No, it's scopolamine. It's a chemical used for motion sickness. This eyedrop bottle's a front. One drop of this stuff and she's out cold. (NICK straightens and smiles.) (Quick flashback to: In the hotel room, KRISTY HOPKINS adjusts her bra.) (Cut to: KRISTY HOPKINS stands in front of the bathroom mirror and takes out the eyedrop bottle. She applies the scopolamine to herself.) (Cut to: Back in the bedroom, she meets with MR. LAFERTY. He admires her. She takes off her bra and he starts to nuzzle her breasts. She waits and it takes a short moment, but he passes out onto the bed.) (Cut to: While MR. LAFERTY is out cold, KRISTY HOPKINS takes his money and things. She also takes his wedding ring. She pats him on the cheek, then leaves.) (Cut to: A car driving down the Las Vegas Strip. Inside the car, KRISTY HOPKINS drives. She starts getting woozy, then passes out.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (NICK smiles and covers his face with his hands. He groans, thrilled to have solved the case.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PAIGE HARMON'S RESIDENCE - FOYER -- MORNING] (GRISSOM stands in front of PAIGE HARMON and GINA HARMON.) Gil Grissom: We're ruling out suicide. The evidence leads us to believe that it was in fact a homicide. (PAIGE HARMON closes her eyes for a moment. GINA stands behind her, holding back her tears.) Paige Harmon: Then he was murdered? Gil Grissom: I believe so. (PAIGE HARMON sits down.) Paige Harmon: You know ... this may sound funny but I feel better knowing that he didn't take his own life. To me that would never sit right. He was such a good man ... Gil Grissom: We'll find him, Ms. Harmon. I promise you. There is always a clue. I'll find it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT HOSPITAL - HALLWAY -- MORNING] (CATHERINE turns into the hospital hallway. She sees a NURSE walking toward her.) (In the background, a phone rings.) Catherine Willows: Nurse, excuse me. I'm Catherine Willows from Criminalistics and I'm here for the 428. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - ROOM - MORNING -- CONTINUOUS] (The door opens. CATHERINE walks into a child's examination room. Sitting on the edge of the bed is a little brown-haired girl holding a doll. The girl buries her face in the doll and doesn't look up when CATHERINE walks in.) Catherine Willows: Hi, Laura. (LAURA SCOTT looks up. CATHERINE moves to sit on the other bed, facing LAURA. She puts her kit down next to her.) Catherine Willows: I'm Catherine. (smiles) How you doin', kiddo? (LAURA sees CATHERINE'S things and points to it.) Laura Scott: What's that? Catherine Willows: Well, that is a camera. I'm gonna take a few photographs. Before I do that, though, could you do me a favor? (CATHERINE opens the folder she's carrying. Inside there's a Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department: Sexual Assault Report form.) Catherine Willows: Could you take a look at this drawing and point out to me ... where he touched you? (CATHERINE holds out the form for LAURA SCOTT to look at. The little girl looks at the drawing on the form, turns her head and pulls back, not wanting to see it.) Catherine Willows: Can you just show me? (LAURA SCOTT points to the drawing on the form. CATHERINE takes the form and starts to work on it.) Laura Scott: Can you hold my dolly for me? (CATHERINE looks at LAURA. She puts the folder aside and reaches for the doll.) Catherine Willows: (smiles) I'd love to. Laura Scott: Not just hold her. Take her away to your house. Catherine Willows: To my house? Why? Laura Scott: Because I don't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to dolly. (CATHERINE looks down at the doll. She lifts up the dress and sees that the doll has no underwear. CATHERINE flinches. She reaches out for LAURA.) Catherine Willows: It's okay. (LAURA flinches and pulls away. CATHERINE pulls back.) Catherine Willows: It's gonna be okay, sweetheart. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- BRASS' OFFICE - MORNING]] (BRASS is in his office with WARRICK.) Jim Brass: (angry) You're off the case. Warrick Brown: What? Why? Jim Brass: Why? You deliberately went over my head, Brown. The phone call from the judge saved your job, but not your ass! I want you shadowing Gribbs. A robbery just came in. Warrick Brown: Captain. You can't do that. Me and Nick are tied! Jim Brass: Tough! Grissom! (From the hallway, GRISSOM looks up.) Jim Brass: Have Warrick shadow Gribbs for the next three weeks or until Nickie makes his hundredth, whatever comes first. (WARRICK takes a step forward and puts his finger in BRASS' face.) Warrick Brown: I hate your ass, you know that? People walk every day because of you-- every day! (GRISSOM grabs WARRICK and pulls him out of the office.) Gil Grissom: That's enough, Warrick. Let's go! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - MORNING -- CONTINUOUS] (WARRICK storms out into the hallway madder than heck. He turns around to look at GRISSOM.) Warrick Brown: Damn it, Gris. I had his ass too! Gil Grissom: Yes, you had him and the minute you started thinking about yourself instead of the case, you lost him. There is no room for subjectivity in this department, Warrick. You know that. We handle each case objectively without presupposition regardless of race, color, creed, or bubble gum flavor. (GRISSOM stares at WARRICK. He puts a hand on his shoulder for emphasis.) Gil Grissom: Okay? (WARRICK nods. GRISSOM turns and heads back into his office.) (After a moment, WARRICK turns around and sees HOLLY GRIBBS standing at the edge of the hallway with her kit and things.) (WARRICK calms down a bit, then walks toward HOLLY.) Warrick Brown: Let's go. (They turn to head out.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PATHFINDER (MOVING) -- MORNING] (The Pathfinder turns the corner and stops in front of the MLK apartments.) Holly Gribbs: Sorry you gotta baby-sit. (HOLLY takes off her seat belt.) Warrick Brown: Yeah, I'm sorry too. (to walkie-talkie) Control, p-4442 arrive. Control: (from radio) Copy that. Warrick: Okay, go inside. Dust for prints. Make sure you take plenty of photographs ... Holly Gribbs: photographs. Be thorough. Don't worry. I got the same speech from Mr. Grissom. Warrick Brown: Good. Look, I gotta run an errand. You'll be okay on your own? Holly Gribbs: You kidding? I'm fired up, ready to go. (She nods to the officer car parked nearby.) Besides, there's an officer here. (HOLLY opens the door and leaves the car. WARRICK starts the car and drives off. HOLLY looks at the apartment building, takes a deep breath and heads toward it.) Cue Sound: (PRELAP) KNOCKING [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RESIDENCE - SUMMERLIN - FRONT PORCH -- MORNING] (The door opens and GRISSOM is standing there.) Gil Grissom: Morning. Gil Grissom, forensics. I'm taking over the case for Warrick Brown. Mind if I come in? Husband: (sighs) How can I help you? Gil Grissom: I need to give you a pedicure. Husband: Come again? (GRISSOM holds up the warrant.) Gil Grissom: I have a warrant for your toenails. [LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS] (The HUSBAND walks into the living room holding the warrant.) Husband: A warrant? What? Am I a suspect? I already gave you a sworn statement. Gil Grissom: A statement's just a public record of your version. We still need proof. (Behind him, the WIFE appears in the living room securing the tie on her robe. The HUSBAND turns and glances back at her. Husband: Well, I'd love to help you, but I already cut them. Gil Grissom: May I see where you discarded the clippings? Husband: I flushed them down the toilet. Gil Grissom: May I see your toilet? [SCENE_BREAK] [BATHROOM] (The bathroom door opens. GRISSOM turns on the light. He walks inside and looks down at the toilet. He lifts the seat and kneels down to examine it closer. GRISSOM stands up again.) Gil Grissom: I'll be right back. (GRISSOM walks out of the bathroom, past the HUSBAND.) SHORT TIME CUT TO: (GRISSOM turns the bathroom light off. He puts the ALS down on the bathroom floor. He turns it on and puts on his goggles.) (Standing in the doorway behind him, the HUSBAND watches.) (GRISSOM glances around at him.) Gil Grissom: Excuse me. (He shuts the bathroom door. He kneels down and gets to work. He uses the ALS and scours the floor around the toilet looking for a stray nail clipping. He finds it and picks it up.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CATHERINE'S SISTER'S HOUSE -- MORNING] (CATHERINE pulls up in the driveway in her SUV. She gets out of the car and talks into the radio.) Catherine Willows: (to radio) Control, this is p-3901. I'm going to be on break for about fifteen minutes. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CATHERINE'S SISTER'S HOUSE - BEDROOM -- MORNING] (LINDSEY WILLOWS slowly sits up in bed. She rubs her eyes.) Lindsey Willows: Mommy? (In the bedroom doorway, CATHERINE smiles at her daughter.) Catherine Willows: Shh. (CATHERINE walks into the bedroom.) Catherine Willows: (whispers) We don't want to wake up Jeremy. (CATHERINE kneels in front of her daughter's bed.) Lindsey Willows: Mommy, what's wrong? Catherine Willows: Mommy just kind of had a rough night. I couldn't drive here fast enough to tell you how much I love you. Lindsey Willows: I know, mommy. I love you, too. (They hug each other.) [SCENE_BREAK] [SCOPE VIEW] (Two nail clippings are laid out side by side and they don't match. Resume view.) [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM is looking through the scope.) Gil Grissom: Nope, loser. Give me the next item up for bid. (BOE WILSON takes out the next clipping from the bindle. He puts the next sample out on the scope for GRISSOM to look at.) Boe Wilson: It's nasty. Gil Grissom: No, striation. Whenever two objects are broken there occurs what we call striae -- two unique connecting points. If I can match the nail in the sneaker to the suspect's clippings ... [SCOPE VIEW] (The two nail clippings match. Resume view.) Gil Grissom: Alcatraz! Boe Wilson: The brother was right, wasn't he?! Gil Grissom: (smiling) Uh-huh! Boe Wilson: (excited) Yeah! Gil Grissom: Careful, Boe, you'll hurt your back. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE PARLAY HUT -- MORNING] (WARRICK pulls up the pathfinder along side the Parlay Hut.) Clerk: What's up, man? Warrick Brown: Gimme Packers. Clerk: One second ... Gil Grissom: (over radio) Warrick, come in. Warrick Brown: (to radio) This is Warrick. Go ahead. Gil Grissom: (over radio) It's Grissom. We got him. Warrick Brown: (to radio) Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, yeah! I'll be right there. Clerk: Who do you want now? Warrick Brown: Gimmie Niners for five dimes. (WARRICK hands the CLERK a stack of cash.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESIDENCE - SUMMERLIN - FRONT - DAY] (OFFICERS lead the HUSBAND in handcuffs out of the house. He looks around and sees ... ) SLOW MOTION CAMERA (... GRISSOM and WARRICK standing on the side watching him.) (Quick flashback to: ) [INT. RESIDENCE - SUMMERLIN - (FLASHBACK) - FOYER -- NIGHT] (The HUSBAND loads his weapon. Outside through the front door, JIMMY is yelling.) Jimmy: (through the door) Open up! Husband: (to his wife) Open the door ... Wife: (nervously) What are you gonna do? Husband: Don't ask questions. Just open the door. Jimmy: (through the door) You son of a bitch! (The WIFE opens the door. JIMMY walks into the foyer. The HUSBAND raises his gun and fires multiple times. JIMMY falls to the ground.) (The HUSBAND steps up to JIMMY to make sure he's dead. He puts his gun down on the floor and removes JIMMY'S left shoe. He takes his own loafers off and puts the shoe on.) (Quick CGI to: Close up of the HUSBAND'S foot going into the shoe, rubbing against the inside and his toenail breaking. End of CGI. Resume to flashback.) Husband: Call 911. (The HUSBAND steps over to the door. His WIFE doesn't move.) Husband: Do it! (The WIFE moves to make the phone call. The HUSBAND steps outside and closes the doors. He locks the door, then kicks it open.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (GRISSOM and WARRICK stand on the side watching the OFFICERS take The HUSBAND away.) (The HUSBAND looks at GRISSOM and WARRICK.) RESUME MOTION: (The OFFICERS take The HUSBAND to the car.) (Realizing something, GRISSOM turns to WARRICK.) Gil Grissom: Hey, weren't you supposed to be shadowing Holly? Warrick Brown: Oh, she's cool. She's doing prints on that 407. There's an officer there. (WARRICK puts on his dark glasses.) Warrick Brown: I'm out. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MARTIN LUTHER KING (MLK) RESIDENCE -- MORNING] (HOLLY GRIBBS stands over the desk dusting the telephone for prints.) (Behind her, someone enters the room and sees her dusting alone. HOLLY wipes the sweat from her forehead.) Jerrod Cooper: Excuse me, ma'am. (HOLLY turns around.) Holly Gribbs: Hi. Uh... can I help you? Jerrod Cooper: I'm the neighbor from across the way and I just saw a cop car leave. Is everything okay? Holly Gribbs: Yeah, we had a robbery, but everything's fine. Jerrod Cooper: (nods) Oh, okay. (HOLLY turns around to resume working. JERROD COOPER doesn't leave.) (The camera moves behind him and shows him reaching for the gun tucked in the back of his jeans' waistband.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOTEL - MR. LAFERTY'S ROOM 1413 -- MORNING] Cue Sound: KNOCKING (MR. LAFERTY opens the door. NICK is standing there holding up a paper package tied around the top with crime scene tape.) Nick Stokes: Room service. Mr. Laferty: You're kidding me. (MR. LAFERTY takes the package as NICK smiles at him. He opens the package and finds his wallet and other missing things.) Mr. Laferty: My stuff! You found my stuff! Nick Stokes: Yeah, yeah, your wallet, your cash, credit cards ... (NICK holds out the ... ) Nick Stokes: ... wedding ring ... (MR. LAFERTY looks at it and sighs with relief.) Mr. Laferty: Oh, thank god. (He grabs the ring and puts it on.) Nick Stokes: Okay, next time you wanna take a shot go to the dice table. At least if you crap out, you can go home broke instead of busted, you know what I mean? Mr. Laferty: I sure do. Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- MORNING] (GRISSOM dangles NICK'S new ID badge in front of him.) Gil Grissom: Congratulations, Nickie, my boy. You are now a C.S.I. Level 3. Nick Stokes: Whoo! Warrick Brown: Good job, Nick. Nick Stokes: Thanks. Uh, hey, Warrick, listen I heard about the whole thing with the shoe and ... Warrick Brown: Forget it, man. It's all you. (WARRICK stands up and they shake hands.) Nick Stokes: Thanks. Warrick: All right. Catherine Willows: Let's get some breakfast. It's on me! (BRASS appears in the doorway and sighs.) Jim Brass: (gravely) Sorry to break up your party but I need grave to pull a double. Holly Gribbs has been shot. She's in surgery now. Apparently the suspect returned to the scene. They don't think she's gonna make it. Brown, I'm putting you on administrative leave pending a full report of your whereabouts. So wash your face and change your socks. You have a long day ahead of you. (BRASS turns and leaves the room.) (WARRICK sighs.) (CAMERA holds on GRISSOM.)	Plan: A: Las Vegas'; Q: What city's elite crime scene investigators is Gil Grissom the supervisor of? A: the team; Q: What does Holly Gribbs join? A: the unit; Q: What is Jim Brass the head of? A: CSI; Q: What is Jim Brass trying to scare Holly Gribbs from? A: Catherine Willows; Q: Who is the number two CSI on the graveyard shift? A: mother; Q: What is Catherine Willows's relationship to her daughter? A: Warrick Brown; Q: Who is competing with Nick Stokes to earn a promotion to CSI 3? A: Nick; Q: Who talks to a man who picked up a woman who drugged and robbed him? A: their 100th case; Q: What are Warrick Brown and Nick Stokes trying to solve to earn a promotion to CSI 3? A: precious little evidence; Q: What is the problem with the murder that was staged to look like a suicide? A: a drunk; Q: Who breaks into a house and is shot to death? Summary: Gil Grissom is the supervisor of the graveyard shift of Las Vegas' elite crime scene investigators. Holly Gribbs, fresh out of the academy, joins the team. Jim Brass is head of the unit and is trying to scare Gribbs from CSI. Catherine Willows, mother of a young daughter, is the number two CSI on this shift. Warrick Brown and Nick Stokes are competing to solve their 100th case to earn a promotion to CSI 3. Grissom investigates a murder staged to look like a suicide with precious little evidence. Warrick and Catherine take the case of a drunk who breaks into the house where he had been staying and is shot to death. Nick talks to a man who picked up a woman who drugged and robbed him.
Opening credits JACK : (voiceover) Torchwood. Outside the Government, beyond the police. Fighting for the future on behalf of the human race. The 21st century is when everything changes... And Torchwood is ready. EXT NIGHT - Outside a warehouse A Weevil runs across and in. INT NIGHT - Warehouse The weevil keeps running through a bunch of... bus shelters? Owen and Tosh chase it with torches, guns aimed. The weevil finds something and snarls at it. Owen finds weevil and gets snarled at. The something is a body. Owen examines it. OWEN : He's dead. EXT NIGHT - Cardiff from above Swiftly zooming to INT - Tourist Office We get a close up on the front door - very close, the outside is in a different location - with the Mayor newspaper from Boom Town blocking the little window. We're in a pov shot, watching the door pushed open. Inside, the Closed sign is the first thing we see, and Ianto is lounging at the counter flicking through a magazine. There's music on in the background - identify ? He doesn't immediately look up. Bell jangles. IANTO : Sorry, (looks up, looks her down and up.) we're closing. (Goes back to his magazine. The clock on the wall says 1.15 - and it's night. A bit past closing !) A hand holds out an ID card. It's like someone pulled Ianto's string, he's upright and all flustered efficiency right away. IANTO : Excuse me, ma'am. He goes along the counter to where we know the door button is and gestures to the wall. POV camera shows us the secret door swinging open. INT Hub - Autopsy area Upside down naked dead guy head. The dead guy the weevil found. JACK : Documents on the body identify the victim as (Holds up a drivers licence, all filled in. 11-01-82 Wales.) Meredith Roberts. OWEN : No obvious signs of violence. GWEN : Are we saying it wasn't the Weevil ? OWEN : Give me a chance, Miss Cooper. I've only just started. IANTO: 'Jack, your VIP visitor is here.' (Jack runs out of the room, leaving the others to trail after). GWEN : I didn't realise we were having a visitor. INT Hub - Door area Door alarm starts going, we see Jack through the bars and then Jack's view of the door. JACK : Suddenly, in an underground mortuary, on a wet night in Cardiff, I hear the song of a nightingale. Martha walks in, Ianto following her. JACK : Miss Martha Jones. (Oi, Jack, that's Doctor Jones to you !) But Martha's all smiles, and Jack smiles back at her. Opening credits INT Hub - Desk area MARTHA : Oh, it's good to see you, Jack. JACK : Toshiko, Owen, Gwen, Ianto, (Ianto raises hand.) meet Martha. OWEN : Just a casual visit or... ? MARTHA : I'm here to complete your postmortem. INT Hub - Autopsy area JACK : Dr Jones is from UNIT. GWEN : Oh, I'm sorry, sorry, I get a bit confused. Which one's UNIT ? JACK : Intelligence, military, cute red caps. The acceptable face of intelligence gathering on aliens. We're more ad hoc. But better looking. MARTHA : I identified a pattern from UNIT's data on sudden deaths. Toxic shock. Nothing to link the victims. Different ages, sexes, ethnic origins, occupations. But there was a statistically significant concentration in South Wales. She's getting her gloves and doctor coat on. JACK : Come on, Martha, be honest. You just came all this way to see me. MARTHA : Still struggling to conquer your shyness, Jack ? OWEN : So what about this pattern, then, Dr Jones ? MARTHA : (Examines the body in odd places, starting with toes, moving on to eyeballs.) They were being written off as suicides or accidents. Look. Puncture mark. Hypodermic needle. You'll find his bloodstream was pumped full of ammonium hydroxide. OWEN : Yeah Bloodstream. That was the thing I was going to do next. MARTHA : Have you checked his medical records ? OWEN : Er, No. I was just about to. MARTHA : Well Let's give it a go. You never know, Owen, you might learn something. INT Hub - Desks Tosh on the computer. On the screen Royal Cardiff Infirmary Records, Patient Name Meredith Roberts, Date of Birth 11 01 1962. So... either these records go month / day / year or it's 2007 for this week only. Or Owen can't add up. Because he reckons... OWEN : One Meredith Roberts, age 45. TOSH : I know there's been a major crash on the NHS system. Wiped a shedload of files. MARTHA : Including all the victims I flagged up from the UNIT data. And now yours. TOSH : A computer crash wouldn't delete data so cleanly. This is deliberate. Let me look into it. Weird wipe to INT Hub - Jack's office JACK : How's the family ? MARTHA : Getting better. They send their love. JACK : Give them mine. So, End of the World Survivors Club. MARTHA : God, I am so glad to see you, Jack ! JACK : See, you did come all this way just to see me. It's the jaw line. Once seen, always yearned for. (Laugh together, then pause.) Do you miss him ? MARTHA : No. I made my choice. Maybe sometimes. JACK : Ah ! MARTHA : Tiny bit. Tiny, tiny. Then I come to my senses again. Anyway, I've got plenty to occupy me. JACK : Oh, yeah, Miss Highfalutin'. What is it ? Medical officer ? MARTHA : Oh, yes. JACK : So do I have to call you ma'am ? MARTHA : No. Just follow my orders to the letter. Laughs together again. JACK : You should have called me if you were looking for a job. MARTHA : I wasn't. This woman from UNIT rang out of the blue, said I was just what they needed, that I'd come highly recommended by an impeccable source. JACK : You mean... ? Points upwards. MARTHA : Well, who else would have done it ? JACK : He must have thought he owed you a favour. Guess we all do. So Do you think you could get me one of those red caps for personal use? I'm thinking Ianto might look good in it. MARTHA : You want uniforms, get your own. Now, am I going to get the guided tour ? JACK : Yes, ma'am, whatever you say, ma'am! Huah ! MARTHA : Leave it ! INT Hub - Hot house with the plants in. JACK : So that's the hot house. Tour continues this way, ladies, please. No dawdling. They dawdle. GWEN : Um, so, you know Jack pretty well, then ? MARTHA : Oh, we were only together for... a few days. But it was pretty intense. GWEN : You mean... ? MARTHA : Oh, God, no ! No, not that sort of intense. Nothing like that. Why ? Are you and him... ? GWEN : No, no, not at all. MARTHA : We must be the only two people on the planet. GWEN : I know. What are we doing wrong ? Laugh together. JACK : Oi, you talking about me ? GWEN : No, no, we were just discussing alien flora, weren't we ? MARTHA : Oh, yeah. JACK : She's no fun. Raise your game, girls ! INT Hub - desks There's a light box with a bit of tech lying on it. Martha, naturally, fiddles. MARTHA : You've got some well weird kit. What's this ? JACK : Be careful. It's an alien artefact. OWEN : Yeah, There's a lot of argument about this. But for my money, it's got to be a surgical instrument. MARTHA : Really ? JACK : He's guessing. Typical medic. OWEN : Hmm. Okay, right. Well, I call it a singularity scalpel. See, what it does is it concentrates energy on a tiny fixed point without damaging anything on the way. It's brilliant. MARTHA : It's amazing. GWEN : Yeah, do you remember the last time you did that, Owen... ? OWEN : Yes, yes. Right, now, all we're going to do is, we're going to vaporise this paper without even scorching the cup. JACK : This is going to end in tears. OWEN : OK. Fiddles at length, gets a clear picture of the paper on the little screen, gets a power up noise, presses the button aaaand... IANTO : Aagh ! Ianto has chosen a bad moment to walk up the stairs between the desks, tray in hand. Whatever was on it goes flying as he reacts to a small explosion in his work area off behind him. It's only hilarious if you're not him. OWEN : Er, haven't quite got the calibration right yet. Ianto glares at Owen in quite possibly the cutest way ever. Gwen and Jack are lol. Ianto pulls himself together and walks the rest of the way up the stairs. IANTO : Jack. JACK : Mmm. IANTO : There's been another attack. Assault with a hypodermic. Only this time, the victim survived. Woman, aged 27. She's in the hospital. (Jack goes to leave, others follow.) Medical records wiped, just like the others. Weird and colorful screen then EXT NIGHT - Cardiff from above looking very veiny. INT - Hospital. Martha's drawing blood. Woman on a bed surrounded by monitors, team Torchwood gather round. MARIE : Yeah, but the doctors said they'd finished with me. MARTHA : We're a bit different. GWEN : We know this is tough on you, Marie. But did you recognise the man who attacked you ? MARIE : I already told the police. JACK : We're different from them, too. MARIE : No, I never seen him before. GWEN : Did he say anything in the course of the attack ? MARIE : No. MARTHA : Open wide. Swabs her mouth. MARIE : Look, he just, he came towards me with a great big bloody needle, didn't he ? You know, my dog bit him and then I kicked him in the nuts. JACK : Respect ! INT Hub - The Hothouse being used as a bio lab. Owen and Martha are doing the dance of successful lab bench sharing. They're helping each other with colorful chemistry and nice pretty graphics and such. Looks like fun. MUSIC : "Feel Good Inc" by Gorillaz. Indistinct muttering mostly, only words coming clear are OWEN : This is a... three four. Your basic lab montage. Then there's a big blobby blue screen, and Owen and Martha standing next to each other staring at it. OWEN : So you and Jack go back a long way ? MARTHA : Forward and back, really. OWEN : What brought you together ? MARTHA : Let's say we were under the same doctor. Owen is puzzled. MARTHA : (Is working. Nods at screen.) These killings - why the ammonium hydroxide ? It's a weird way to kill someone. OWEN : Yeah, Yeah, it's gross. It's like injecting them with bleach. MARTHA : Unless the objective isn't just killing. OWEN : It's destroying something in the victim's bloodstream. MARTHA : It's getting rid of evidence ! INT Hub - Jack's office Using the window as a big screen, files on Marie up on it. JACK : Locally, we've got a murder victim and a survivor. Both attacked with hypodermics, both with their medical records wiped. MARTHA : And more cases across the UK. We think the point of the attacks is to destroy evidence of their medical condition. JACK : Gwen, Ianto, pursue the criminal investigation. GWEN : OK. JACK : Martha, Owen will follow up with the medical side. OWEN : Fine. JACK : Tosh, any luck in retrieving those medical records ? TOSH : Not yet. I'm gonna have to dig down into the system memories, see if I can find any remnants of deleted or temporary files. Completely illegally, of course. JACK : Do what you have to. We're not dealing with a freak with some needle fetish. This is a conspiracy. INT Hub - Desk and door. TOSH : Ianto, the police have found another body in Heath Park. From the initial reports It's got all the hallmarks of the other attacks. IANTO : I'll get Gwen, head out there now. EXT DAY - Cardiff from above. EXT DAY - somewhere in the park. SUV pulls up to crime scene, with tape and SOCOs and a bit of a tent. Gwen and Ianto get out, head in. GWEN : What have you got ? POLICE : Body was found early this morning. Caucasian male, early 20s. GWEN : OK, thanks. (Inside, examining body.) Who is he ? POLICE : Barry Leonard. Student. Doctor said it looked like... GWEN : Toxic shock. INT Hub - Corridor, then meeting room door GWEN : The attack took place in the woods, so no witnesses, no CCTV. MARTHA : Same as the others. GWEN : Yeah. Tosh just checked Barry's medical records - already wiped. MARTHA : And The puncture mark on his eyeball was identical to the other victims. I mean, Jack's right. These attacks are not random, they're clinical. Professional. More like assassinations. GWEN : Except Barry Leonard was a student. Who'd assassinate a student ? MARTHA : Student Loans Company. GWEN : Yeah, yeah, I think you've just cracked it. (laughs together) But why delete medical records ? You know, what did all these people have in common ? MARTHA : Owen's analysing Marie's test results now. I'm hoping that will give us an indication. GWEN : So we're still in the dark, no idea where the killer will strike next and the attacks are getting more frequent. MARTHA : We keep looking, Gwen, we'll find something. IANTO : 'Martha, call from the hospital. Marie's had some sort of seizure.' INT Hub - Hothouse. MARTHA : They want us at the hospital. Marie's collapsed. OWEN : Yeah ? My money's on this stuff. From Marie's blood. It's a new one on me. MARTHA : Yeah, me too. Have you run an isoenzyme analysis on it ? OWEN : No, not yet. What are you thinking ? Parasitic infection ? MARTHA : Could be. OWEN : It's got to be down to this stuff, cause otherwise I haven't got a clue what's wrong with her. MARTHA : Yeah - no infections, no deficiencies in organ function, perfect cholesterol levels, ideal blood pressure. OWEN : Yeah, exactly. She's so normal, she's abnormal. INT DAY - Hospital MARTHA : (waving little torch light in her eyes) Marie ? Marie, can you hear me ? MARIE : Mmm, yeah. OWEN : OK, you've got something in your blood that we don't recognise, all right ? We think it's behind your current illness and we need to know what's been happening to you so we can help you. MARIE : Well, you're the doctors. You tell me. Swift set of corpse closeups to change scene. STUDENT : Barry was my best mate. INT DAY - Student flat Music in the background, just a beat. Keep Out sign rather uselessly on the outer wall. Ianto and Gwen and the student all have mugs. STUDENT : We were doing the same course. Met him on the first day. GWEN : Was Barry doing any sort of drugs at all ? STUDENT : Well, he used to be really clean. Reckoned he had to be careful about what went into his body because of his diabetes. IANTO : Barry was diabetic ? STUDENT : Sure. But when they cured that, he was doing booze, blow... GWEN : Wait a minute. You're telling me Barry's diabetes was cured ? STUDENT : Sure. IANTO : That's impossible. STUDENT : Well, he stopped taking insulin. He was fine. IANTO : (bleeps his ear) Owen, something you should know. GWEN : So who performed this miracle cure ? STUDENT : I don't know. He was very quiet about that. All I know is, he was suddenly flashing a load of wedge about. IANTO : Barry Leonard is said to have recovered from diabetes. INT DAY - Hospital OWEN : Thanks, Ianto. Right, Listen, Marie, you're gonna have to level with us. This could be a matter of life and death. Have you ever had a serious medical condition ? MARIE : Too good to be true. MARTHA : What do you mean ? MARIE : I had HIV. MARTHA : You're perfectly clear of antibodies. That's not medically possible. MARIE : That's the Reset. MARTHA : Reset ? What are we talking about ? A drug ? OWEN : Right, I'm not familiar with Reset, so any idea of a chemical name ? Marie laughs, then starts coughing. OWEN : Where d'you get it from, Marie ? MARIE : I got it from the Pharm. MARTHA : The farm ? What farm ? MARIE : No, P-H-A-R-M, the Pharm. It's a medical research place, all right ? OWEN : How did you get it from there ? MARIE : They gave it to me. They paid me a lot of money. They said I should to keep quiet about it cos it was part of the contract. MARTHA : Are you saying you were a clinical trial subject ? She collapses on the bed and starts twitching. MARTHA : Marie ? OWEN : Convulsing. MARTHA : Marie ! OWEN : I'll give her another 10ml. MARTHA : You're all right. Monitor flatlines. MARTHA : She's dead. Buzzing... Martha stares as a swarm of small bugs pour out of Marie's mouth. Martha and Owen back away, waving them off. Owen slaps some button on the wall and an alarm starts. OWEN : Emergency ! Biohazard ! Get us out of here ! So I guess they can't get out. They curl up small and cover up in the corner, put the little paper masks actually over their mouths... which would have been useful earlier, but they never wear them on TV anyway. Buzzing louder... then the swarm falls down, dead. Alarm keeps going in the background... Owen holds up one bug on the tip of his finger. INT Hub - Meeting room Nice mayfly graphic on the big screen there. MARTHA : So it's an alien larva, incubating in human bodies. OWEN : We've never seen anything like it. So it left Marie's body when she died, presumably looking for another host for its next stage of development. MARTHA : Which could have been us. OWEN : Yeah. Fortunately, when they didn't find one quickly, they died. MARTHA : I wonder what this cute little larva grows up to be ? Camera moves behind a pillar and when it moves out again they're no longer alone in the room. Team meeting. And someone's being really swish with the scene changes this week. OWEN : This, folks, is a molecular model of the drug that we found in Marie's blood. MARTHA : She called it Reset. IANTO : So what does it do ? OWEN : Think about when you run a virus scan through your computer, yeah ? The software works its way through the files and when it finds a Trojan or a virus or whatever, identifies it and then it deletes it. That is what this stuff does to the human body. But it's not just viruses. It's harmful bacteria, toxins, even mutant cells, you name it. It's like the body's been turned back to its factory settings. MARTHA : It's the ultimate magic bullet. Supersedes anything and everything in the pharmacological armoury. GWEN : But That would be the greatest medical discovery in history. MARTHA : Exactly. Except, it comes bundled with a lethal alien parasite. JACK : Ah, not so good a discovery. MARTHA : The parasite needs a healthy body until it's incubated. So the parasite egg incorporates this magic bullet, which puts everything in the system back to its factory settings. JACK : Reset. Neato. So who runs the Pharm ? IANTO : Well, the public image is innocent enough. Private-public partnership between the government and a consortium of the pharmaceutical companies. Researching and developing cutting-edge biotechnology. TOSH : Their IT systems are way more cutting-edge than they need to be. Plus, they've got seemingly unrestricted security clearance. MARTHA : Which means they'd have the capability to erase medical records if they wanted to. TOSH : Exactly. JACK : Who runs this outfit ? GWEN : Institute director is a Dr Aaron Copley. OWEN : Yeah, I know his work. He's one of the most respected research scientists in his field. IANTO : Harvard graduate. Did research at Cambridge. Last job, Harvard Professor of Molecular Pharmacology. Came to the UK to set up the Pharm. JACK : Hmm, he's kinda handsome, too. D'you think he'll like visitors ? EXT DAY - Lane leading up to the Pharm SUV pulls up at security gate, guard checks their name against a list. JACK : Torchwood. Guard nods and lets them in. Jack, surprised, looks over at an equally raised eyebrows Owen. Then on the way in notes the guards' guns. INT DAY - Office at the Pharm Copley sits behind his desk, looking through the Torchwood file. Jack sits in front, Owen stands at the back. COPLEY : Sorry you've had a wasted journey, Mr... Harker ? JACK : Harkness. And it's Captain, but you can call me Jack. COPLEY : Captain ? Where did you park your boat ? JACK : (laughs alone) I like a man with a sense of humour. Know any good gags about clinical trials ? COPLEY : Well, Jack, none of these faces mean anything to me. And as the institute director, I would have met them personally, had they been our trial subjects. JACK : Dr Copley... COPLEY : Professor, actually. JACK : But I can call you Aaron, right ? See, this is a little awkward. Two of these people were murdered. Another died of a parasitic infection of alien origin and one of the victims mentioned your organisation's name shortly before she died. COPLEY : Alien origin ? That's preposterous. OWEN : Er, Professor, when I was writing my MD thesis, your published works on immunology were very helpful, so thank you. COPLEY : I'm Glad to be of service. OWEN : Now, if there was a drug that could restore the human body back to its factory settings, as it were, you would know about it. COPLEY : You're right, I would. But nothing like that exists. JACK : I had a boyfriend whose nostrils flared when he was lying. COPLEY : I'm already late for my next appointment. JACK : You go ahead. We'll have a look around. COPLEY : Well, obviously our research suites are classified, so we can't grant you access to those, but we'd be delighted to give you the PR tour. JACK : Normally, Aaron, we go where we like. COPLEY : Not here, actually. Ask Whitehall. We're fireproof. JACK : Yeah. I had a bad experience with a politician recently. I tend not to listen to Whitehall any more. COPLEY : Let me get someone to guide you back to your vehicle. EXT DAY - The Pharm Two armed guards take up position in the door as Jack and Owen leave the building and get back in their SUV. JACK : Was it me, or was he a little touchy ? OWEN : Yeah, so much for the polite approach. We need to turn this place over. JACK : (pressing buttons and beeping his wristband) Oh, yeah. According to these readings this place has the highest concentration of alien life forms this side of the Rift. (Looking at outbuildings with barbed wire. Then looking at guard.) Grey is so not her colour. EXT DAY - Cardiff - Plas from above. INT Hub - Desks TOSH : I can't hack in there, Jack. And if I keep on trying with a brute-force approach, they'll know they're under attack. JACK : An alien life form is preying on the humans bloodstream. I need a way in there. IANTO : Tosh, I've got the results of that research. On the screen now. Several screens of web pages, including listsings for The Pharm, South Wales. TOSH : Ianto, that's brilliant ! They're in the market for volunteers. JACK : That's understandable, given their wastage rate. GWEN : Then One of us goes in undercover. JACK : No, we don't know enough about the workings of that place. Too many things could go wrong. MARTHA : Unless you were to put a medic in there. Someone who knew what to look for. OWEN : Yeah, but I can't do it. They know me now don't they. MARTHA : I know it's hard to believe, Owen, but I wasn't thinking of you. JACK : No way. MARTHA : Come on, Jack, I've been in worse places and you know it. JACK : (Checks around his team. Gets raised eyebrows from Gwen, a head shake from Owen but nothing from the others. Looks at Martha.) OK. INT Hub - Arch near the armoury. Jack climbing up the stairs to the other side of his office. Owen stops him. OWEN : Jack, can I have a word ? Listen, I know you're big buddies from way back whenever, but you can't just send her in like this. JACK : Trust me. She's more than capable. I'd rely on Martha if the world was ending. In fact, I did. INT Hub - Autopsy area Actually the camera starts out in the desk area looking in. There seem to be shower curtains in the doorway to the autopsy area. I had not noticed that before. Now I'm amused. IANTO : OK, these are the plans for the Pharm's buildings. From what Jack and Owen saw, they reckon that the main house contains Copley's office, medical research suites and the accommodation for the clinical trials subjects. MARTHA : What about the buildings at the rear ? IANTO : Restricted area, fenced off, armed security. Jack thinks that's where the readings of alien life forms came from. MARTHA : Cool. IANTO : But you don't need to go anywhere near there. MARTHA : Spoilsport. IANTO : The first thing you need to do is get yourself accepted as a clinical trials subject. Don't try too hard, don't draw too much attention to yourself. MARTHA : Be invisible. I can do that. IANTO : Once you're in, we need you to gain access to the Pharm's IT systems, close down the system firewalls and security protocols. That way Tosh can gain access to the files and see what they're really up to. MARTHA : Industrial espionage. It's very civilised. IANTO : Once you've done that, get out. Don't take any unnecessary risks. MARTHA : Understood. IANTO : Cool. MARTHA : So, Jack asked me if I could get you a UNIT cap to wear. IANTO : (Surprised to slight blinky.) Did he ? Well, red is my colour. (Goes up the steps opposite.) MARTHA : So am I right in thinking that you and he... ? IANTO : We... dabble. MARTHA : Yeah ? IANTO : Yeah. MARTHA : So what's his dabbling like ? IANTO : Innovative. MARTHA : Really ? IANTO : Bordering on the avant garde. MARTHA : Wow. IANTO : Oh, yeah. (Is elsewhere, in his happy place. For quite a while.) Huh. So shall we get your cover story sorted ? MARTHA : Absolutely. INT Hub - Jack's office IANTO : Fake ID. First name Samantha. Thought the Jones would be safe. MARTHA : OK. How do I stay in touch ? TOSH : Communication's very tricky. The whole place could be wired. We don't want you chattering away to us and being overheard. JACK : But I want to monitor you at all times. MARTHA : So ? Tosh presents a box. MARTHA : I don't need contact lenses. TOSH : You need these. INT Hub - Desks Now we see on the computer screens a sort of rounded version of the area, Martha pov. OWEN : OK ? MARTHA : Oh, I'm a camera ! JACK : As Chris Isherwood once said to me when we were cruising the Kurfurstendamm. TOSH : And we... can... text. (Types "U LOOK WE C", and it shows up on the POV shot). MARTHA : Wow ! TOSH : Power comes from the body heat, so they only work when you're wearing them. OWEN : Yeah, so you have to wear them everywhere. Eyebrow flash. MARTHA : Well I'll be doing some things with my eyes shut, then. JACK : In case of an emergency, we can speak directly to you. TOSH : The lens will communicate with your sensory neuroreceptors. Bypasses the auditory system. MARTHA : But can't these signals be intercepted ? IANTO : Alien technology. Which exploits a solution to the EPR paradox. MARTHA : Oh, quantum entanglement of remote particles. OK, cool. IANTO : (rather quieter) Yeah. JACK : Did I mention she was brilliant ? Flashy transition - mayfly larva graphic, couple other things, exterior of the Pharm. [SCENE_BREAK] INT DAY - Room at the Pharm. They're drawing blood again. Close up. Do they do it just to make me shuddery ? TESTER : It's standard procedure to take two blood tests. One of them will be analysed overnight. Thank you, Nurse. So tell us the places you've been to, Samantha. MARTHA : Well, I had a great time in North America, France and Germany, Australia... TESTER : What about the Third World ? Africa, Latin America ? TXT: "warning triangle !" MARTHA : No, but I'm sure I'll get round to it. TESTER : Travel off the beaten track can be a bit of a problem for us. If you had some exotic tropical disease, there could be unexpected side effects, and volunteers welfare is our absolute priority. MARTHA : Oh I don't think there'll be any problem with that. And of course I'm very conscious of health issues. TXT: "warning triangle !" MARTHA : My mum's a nurse. Door opens, Copley walks in. TESTER : This is Professor Copley, Samantha. Institute director. COPLEY : Hi, Sam. Nice to meet you. MARTHA : Hello. JACK : Tell her to get close/ To Copley. TXTS it. COPLEY : I see you're a postgraduate student at the moment. MARTHA : That's right. COPLEY : Studying what ? MARTHA : Creative writing. So I really need the cash. COPLEY : Well I'm sure you'll understand, Samantha, that we have a lot of applicants. JACK : Tell her not to lose him. TXTS. COPLEY : We'll let you know in due course. MARTHA : Actually, there's something I should have told you. COPLEY : Oh, yes ? MARTHA : It'll show up in the test results anyway. I did have a hepatitis infection. OWEN : No, no, no, she's bullshitting. It's her way in. MARTHA : I mean, I'm fine now, but it stays in the blood. Strictly speaking, it's incurable, right ? COPLEY : Well That puts a different complexion on things. We could use a subject with hepatitis. Are you available to start right now ? MARTHA : Well, sure. I've brought my overnight things. COPLEY : Then all we need is your signature on this confidentiality agreement. OWEN : She's in. JACK : As Chris Isherwood also said, it's not the getting in, it's the getting out. COPLEY : Thank you. MARTHA : So What sort of drugs will you want me to take ? COPLEY : We have got various products at the clinical trials stage. You'll be given a full briefing once we've finalised the programme, and of course we won't proceed unless we have your informed consent. JACK : Come on, Martha. OWEN : Let her settle in. It's gonna be a long night ahead. EXT NIGHT - Cardiff from above. INT Hub - Desks Tosh brings two mugs of coffee. TOSH : You and Martha are getting on well. OWEN : Yeah, you know me - Mr Sociable. TOSH : She's beautiful. OWEN : Is she ? TOSH : You know she is. OWEN : Yes, well, fair cop. TOSH : And a doctor. Perfect match. OWEN : No, she's only interested in work. TOSH : Do you think ? OWEN : Yeah, a bit of flirting so I'll show her the ropes. Plus, if I tried anything with her, I think Jack would have my kneecaps. (Rueful grins.) What happened to that, um, pool tournament you were organising ? TOSH : That ? It was never a tournament. OWEN : What was all that about, then ? TOSH : It was supposed to be a date. OWEN : Sorry ? TOSH : I was asking you out on a date. OWEN : A... a date ? TOSH : You didn't realise ? OWEN : You and me ? TOSH : Yeah. OWEN : I see. And... you still want that ? TOSH : Yeah. OWEN : Right. TOSH : I just thought if we spent some time together, an evening... OWEN : All right. TOSH : Sorry ? OWEN : Just do it. TOSH : Are you being sarcastic ? OWEN : No. TOSH : You're being polite. You'll stand me up. OWEN : I've just said yes, haven't I ? One date, see how it goes, which might be nowhere. TOSH : That's fine. A drink. OWEN : OK. TOSH : Yeah. OWEN : And I'm going to keep flirting with people, Ok ? Just cos of this, doesn't mean I'm going to stop flirting. TOSH : You can be king of flirts. OWEN : Ok. Right, then. TOSH : Yeah. OWEN : Good. We should, er... concentrate on Martha. TOSH : Yeah. INT NIGHT - The Pharm - Patient room. Alternating with the Hub desks whenever the Team are talking. They do that a lot. Martha is lying on the bed, then sits up. Sneaky time! Sneaky out the room into the corridor. See through the lenses back at the base. See Martha sneak some more in the corridors and find the stairs. Owen TXTS "Be Careful", which I'd call unnecessary but later... Anyway, Jack joins Tosh and Owen at the monitors, and Martha wanders some more. Gets to the Admin door, rattles the handle. Locked. OWEN : Tosh, can you get us past this ? TOSH : Easy peasy. She just needs to get the lenses to within the EPR field. TXTS "Look Closer". Martha moves her head closer, and the magic eyeballs now let the Hub computers figure out the numbers on the lock. Tense sequence of number guessing! Wait for the numbers to flick and decide before the guards catch up ! Is better than the lottery balls, I tell you. So, anyways, 41040 and she gets in just before the guards get there. Scary ! Then she finds the computer, sitting there waiting for a password. OWEN : Tosh, can you help her blag her way into the computer system ? TOSH : It'll take time to talk her through it. JACK : We don't have time. I want her out of that office. TOSH : Well, if I can get her to give me remote control of the computer... TXTS Instructions like : Go to network and connections and then there's a lot of typing and hey lookit. TOSH : ...I have control. MARTHA : (Talking out loud exactly like they didn't want her to when they gave her the lenses.) The life cycle of the parasite. They call it the Mayfly. GWEN : Wow. We've never seen a species like that before. TOSH : It's beautiful. OWEN : It's lethal. JACK : But what is Copley doing with them ? 'Martha, now we've got control,' we can download all of this and go through it here. Get out of there pronto. Martha, doors, corridors. Tension ! Tense music ! GWEN : Tosh Do you have that code-breaker software ? TOSH : I'm sending the patch through now. GWEN : Thank you. Lots of screens of computer stuff. Martha on stairs. Then an alarm rings. SECURITY : 'Break out in Zone A. All patrols to Zone A immediately. Breakout in Zone A. Break out in Zone A. All patrols proceed with extreme caution. The escaped creature is extremely dangerous.' Martha grins and looks out the window, watching the fun thing where the armed security guards are now scared. TXT says "Get to safety". Naturally any companion of the Doctor's takes this to mean 'climb out a window and go looking for trouble'. Only on the kids show they get away with it. GWEN : Jack ? I've got the list of the clinical trials subjects here. JACK : Meredith Roberts, Marie Thomas, Barry Leonard. All the murder victims. Ooh, who's BD ? GWEN : Executive actions ? JACK : Old CIA terminology for assassinations. The Pharm are running their own hit man, which is kind of unusual for a medical research facility. GWEN : Wait a minute, there's a name here that we haven't seen before. Elin Morgan ? She hasn't been reported missing or dead. JACK : She soon will be. Take Ianto and pull her in. EXT NIGHT - The Pharm Martha climbs down a drainpipe and dusts herself off. Alarms are still blaring. She runs, sees the fence and the wire and the lock. Voices get closer, mostly indistinct. She runs and hides behind a small bush. GUARD : Find it before it gets any further... sector 12 now... SECURITY : 'Do not attempt to approach the creature, is that understood ? Stun and sedate only, the creature is highly dangerous.' GUARD : Understood. Come on, keep moving ! The guards type the number in and go in the restricted zone. They let the gate swing closed behind them, for this is TV and they are both stupid and busy. Martha runs up and catches the gate before it closes, dodges inside. OWEN : What the hell is she doing ? If the Pharm have their own hit man, God knows what they're capable of. JACK : Yeah, and I put her in there. Alarm, whistles, and pov with blurry edges as Martha runs around in the restricted area for no actual reason. Sorry, just... she's doing exactly what she was warned not to do. Because she was her own boss for a year, so it makes sense to her. Just... no. So, then there's weird noises, warbling and hissing. Martha turns and... white out. OWEN : sh1t ! JACK : What was that ? TOSH : Radiation surge ? We've lost her signal ! Martha rubs her eyes, I think taking the lenses out. MARTHA : Agh ! Ah ! Eerie warbling continues, then around the corner hops a full grown Mayfly, looking about as big as a car right then. MARTHA : Agh ! Runs and hides behind a yellow wheelie bin. GUARD : There it is ! Call patrol. Creature located. Zone A, sector 12. The Mayfly goes past, and Martha steps out from behind the bin to follow it... I can only assume she's forgotten she doesn't have her invisibility key, for this leaves her clearly visible, and oddly enough she gets shot by the security guards. Sedative dart, she collapses. TOSH : I can't get her back. OWEN : We have to get her out of there. TOSH : That place is swamped in security. If we try and steam in, we'll be putting her at risk ! OWEN : We can't just leave her in there can we ? TOSH : If I can't get her signal back in 30 minutes, then we think of alternatives. OWEN : Anything could be happening to her in there. JACK : Martha can handle herself. She's been in worse situations than this. OWEN : Sure about that ? EXT NIGHT - The SUV on the road. Gwen's getting something up on a computer map. IANTO : What's that ? GWEN : Billy Davis' mobile. He'll be at Elin's flat in three minutes. Ianto hits the accelerator and we watch the SUV speed through the streets. INT NIGHT - Elin's bedroom BD sneaks in sneakily with the needle in one hand and a spray in the other. When Elin wakes up he sprays her and she stays still, eyes staring open. He moves in with the needle... GWEN : Hands above your head ! Up ! Gwen has a gun and just gestures with it. That gets BD away from Elin. Then Ianto walks in and stun guns him. He's getting good at that. IANTO : Jack, we've got Billy Davis. He could help get you into the Pharm. INT NIGHT - The Pharm Martha is tied to a bench in a weird spread out cross shape. Very blasphemy bondage medical. MARTHA : Will you tell this gorilla to let me go ?! What is going on ?! COPLEY : (Dismisses the armed guard) Good work. MARTHA : I'm here as a clinical volunteer. You can't treat me like this ! COPLEY : You lied to us, Samantha. MARTHA : Can I just explain ? I got bored stuck in that room, so I went for a walk, and first that thing attacked me, and then your heavies assaulted me. COPLEY : You don't owe any loyalty to Torchwood. Jack Harkness has treated you in a criminally irresponsible way. MARTHA : Who ? I really don't understand ! COPLEY : Don't bother. This is not an interrogation. Torchwood is irrelevant to us, not even a nuisance. In fact, they've done us quite a favour putting you in here. We've analysed your test results - you really are something special. INT Hub - Cells BD is tied to a chair in the gap between cells, a computer monitor screen next to him and a trolley with a bunch of Owen's stuff in it on his other side. Owen fiddles around being vaguely medical. BD : Agh ! I got terrible guts, dunno what it is. JACK : Bad conscience, Billy. Try confessing. BD : Get stuffed. JACK : OK, let's do it the hard way. Cell door at the other end opens, and out comes a Weevil, chained at the neck. Ianto is handling it like a guard with a dog. Except it growls at him, so just a bit less friendly. But he glares at it and it turns towards BD. Runs to him, growling and snarling. The chain lets it almost all the way to BD, Ianto hanging on to keep it that little bit back. BD : Merciful Christ ! What the... ? Agh-hhh ! Weevil roars. JACK : They have a tendency to act up. IANTO : Losing him ! BD : Please ! JACK : Something to say, Billy ? BD : Yeah, yeah, whatever you want, just get it away from me ! Get it off me ! Ianto uses the Weevil spray and packs the Weevil back into its cell. Which is a bit unfair, really, since the spray apparently hurts them. Like whipping a dog that only barked when you told it to. Mind you, they're using it for something bordering on torture, bit like some pics I've seen of US methods, so being humane isn't their first concern. Ianto shuts it in and closes the door. JACK : OK, Billy, you've been on a killing spree, why ? BD : I work for the Pharm ! They'd been giving people this Reset drug. But there were these side effects - parasites or something. They were gonna die anyway, so I had to get rid of them before any weird symptoms showed up... in public. INT The Pharm - Martha's test bench. COPLEY : Do you know what lymphocytes are, Samantha ? MARTHA : A kind of white blood cell, part of the immune system. TESTER : Well, your lymphocytes are really quite extraordinary. COPLEY : We've never seen anything like them before, not in a human being. Aliens are a different matter. MARTHA : Aliens ? I don't know what you're talking about. TESTER : Your lymphocytes and God knows what other cells have mutated. MARTHA : Mutated ? How ? COPLEY : Under the influence of radiation. Radiation that's not found in the temporally stable environments on Earth. MARTHA : I don't know what that means. COPLEY : We've dealt with aliens before, but we have never come across anything as exotic as you. A human being who's travelled in time and space. Tell me about it. How is that possible ? What did you see out there ? MARTHA : This is mad. I don't know what you mean. COPLEY : Fine. If that's the way you want to play it. However it happened, it means that you have a uniquely effective immune system, which is exactly what we need. We're developing a drug that's going to change the world, Sam. Incurable cancers, AIDS, all the scourges of the human race wiped out. A revolution in medicine and social welfare. Except it's still imperfect. I'd like to know what your funky lymphatic system makes of those imperfections. MARTHA : I am not taking that ! COPLEY : But you volunteered. It's a bag of Reset, and it's now flowing into her arm. Bad ! INT Hub - Cells JACK : OK, Billy, we're going into the Pharm and you're going to front it for us. BD : Yeah, yeah. OK. My stomach ! My stomach ! My stomach ! Agh ! Agh ! Coughs up blood. OWEN : Whoa ! JACK : Owen, we need him alive ! OWEN : Yeah, all right, I'm flying blind here, Jack ! JACK : Do something ! OWEN : Let's start with this. (Gets out the Singularity Scalpel and starts fiddling.) I think I've got it, OK ? I've got the calibrations right. I can get it out of him. Er, not quite - we have a belly burster, the bug spraying blood and guts everywhere on its way out. Nasty. ? : Whoa ! ? : God ! JACK : Owen, deal with it. JACK : Are you sure you had those calibrations right ? OWEN : I'm sorry, all right ? (Grabs a bucket and some tongs, grabs the Mayfly, which looks about as long as someone's forearm and is all skittery and alive.) He must have breathed in larva when one of his victims died. This could have been me, or Martha. He drops it in a bucket. Torchwood has a Mayfly. INT The Pharm - Martha on the cross bench. TESTER : I've given her twice the critical dose. COPLEY : So, Mayfly larvae are incubating ? TESTER : Are you sure about this ? Her immune system's clearly reacting. There's obviously quite a fight going on inside her. COPLEY : Keep your nerve. We're making history. INT Hub - desks TOSH : Ianto, what have you done with Billy Davis' body ? IANTO : Um, I was just about to dispose of it. Why ? TOSH : I've thought of a way we can use him to get us into the Pharm. Clever, huh ? IANTO : Oh, you are warped on the inside. How do you think of these things ? TOSH : I'll take that as a compliment. EXT NIGHT - Cardiff, then the road to the Pharm. Team Torchwood are hiding in the back... BD the corpse is apparently driving, duct taped to the wheel. The gate lets him in. His car parks outside the Pharm... and he slumps forwards to headbutt the wheel. I lol and then feel vaguely guilty. JACK : Tosh, Gwen, Ianto, check out Zone A. We're going after Martha. Let's go ! INT Pharm - Martha room Martha's looking really ill now. Jack slams the door in and comes in gun aimed. JACK : Hands above your head ! What have you done to her ? OWEN : Tell me that's not Reset ! COPLEY : She's survived the larval stage, the only subject ever to do so. Fascinating. Turns out these bugs practice sibling cannibalism. Only the strongest individual is left now. God knows what happens next. OWEN : Put a stop to this ! COPLEY : I can't. I don't know how. EXT NIGHT - Warehouse in Zone A and INT NIGHT - Warehouse in Zone A. Doors, Team, poking around inside crowded place. Dramatic spot lighting. Things in tubes. Waving guns and torches around. The Tester lady is changing jars on a tube. GWEN : Put your hands above your head ! Tester does. Team move in. See what is in the big tube. TOSH : Ianto. IANTO : Bloody hell. INT Pharm Now Martha going all bumpy in the middle and moving and stuff. Bugly baby ! Er, sorry. Very creepy, belly burst imminent. OWEN : Jack, this thing's killing her. I don't know what I can do. JACK : Owen, stay calm, there has gotta be something. Owen finds the Scalpel in his bag. Third time lucky ? Or splatter the guest star ? INT - Warehouse of tubes Nekkid Weevil ! In a tube ! Moaning. GWEN : What's happening here ? TESTER : This is what the Pharm is all about. We farm captive aliens for the exotic chemical products they metabolise. IANTO : What the hell do you get from a weevil ? TESTER : Some pesticides, and a quite powerful chemical defoliant. But the weevils aren't what's going to clinch the Nobel for us. The Mayfly, our feedstock for Reset. Given time, we'll tweak the product for human use, and then it'll be bigger than penicillin. Now there's a sad big bug in a tube. Gwen seems to relate. There's some clever posture mirroring going on, except with more legs. IANTO : Jack, I can give you a report on Zone A. They're holding dozens of creatures captive down here. They seem to be using them as test subjects. INT - Pharm with Martha. JACK : Understood, Ianto. Tell Tosh to go for total shutdown. This place is a torture chamber. COPLEY : I don't need to debate medical ethics with you. JACK : You abused the Mayflies, you turned them into parasites ! COPLEY : We didn't understand how the Mayflies reproduced. We tried to limit the damage. JACK : What, by murdering people ? COPLEY : They were going to die anyway. We're on the edge of the greatest discovery in history. It gotta be worth a few sacrifices ! You must understand that, Jack, you're involved in alien research. JACK : Not like this. I'm closing this place down. COPLEY : In your dreams. This is a state of the art, official facility. JACK : Oh, I'm not going to do it by sending a memo. We're in control of your IT systems. As we speak, we're crashing your data banks, wiping your records. COPLEY : That's cyber terrorism ! JACK : And that's just for starters. We're going to trip the systems of your fire, radiation and biohazard safety networks. The power will cut, sprinklers will be activated, and a large part of this facility will be sealed and flooded with inert gases. COPLEY : The aliens will die. JACK : They're already dying. This way they'll be put out of their misery. COPLEY : For God's sake, we're on the same side ! JACK : No. Combating hostile aliens is one thing, but this is slavery, exploitation, a war crime ! Martha starts twitching, seizure time. OWEN : Jack, I need your help ! Jack runs over to her and tries to hold her down. Wasn't she already strapped down ? Copley legs it while he's busy. Owen ? He's been fiddling with the Scalpel, getting the settings right... probably. JACK : What the hell are you doing to her ?! OWEN : This is the only way we'll save Martha. I think I understand how it works. JACK : You'd better be sure because it's never worked before. Owen, are you sure it's safe ? OWEN : Ok, Jack ! JACK : Owen, tell me you're sure ! You could kill her with that thing ! We're losing her ! Extreme close up of Owen eyes. He's really not sure and then the screen with the wiggly bug on it. Swooshy sound of scalpel working and... MARTHA : Ah ! Martha sits up screaming... then falls back. Flatline bleep. JACK : What have you done ? Bleeeeep... and then she starts coughing. Owen's panting so loud you can hear he only just restarted breathing too. OWEN : Oh, bloody hell, it worked. Thank God for that. JACK : Let's get her out of here. Jack picks up Martha, who kind of walks. Owen grabs his bag and puts his coat around her. EXT NIGHT - The Pharm, everyone exiting the building. Many people, indistinct voices. Maybe 'Come on you lot, this is not a drill, come on'. Tosh walks and plays on her laptop. OWEN : I am prescribing rest and recuperation for you, madam, and a few days in bed, preferably under my supervision. MARTHA : Owen, I don't know how to break this to you : I've got a boyfriend. OWEN : Yeah, but has he saved your life like I did ? MARTHA : Um, yes, actually. OWEN : Oh. GWEN : Arms up on there. Tester at gun point, leans on the car. JACK : Do it. Tosh hits a key, and the laptop says SHUT DOWN. Screaming and alarm starts. ANNOUNCE : 'Facility shut down in progress. All personnel must evacuate immediately. Facility shut down in progress. All personnel must evacuate immediately.' JACK : Ok, let's go ! COPLEY : Did you really think I was going to let you just walk away ? You've ruined everything I've worked for. Copley has a gun. Owen turns, puts himself between Martha and the threat. Spreads his arms out, hands up. OWEN : Now, let's not be stupid. Ok ? We're both rational men, scientists. I know you don't want to shoot that. Hell ! Owen very wrong. Copley shot him. Ianto jumps, reacts with shock. Owen falls, hits the ground, chest bleeding. Tosh shocked too. Jack pulls his gun. COPLEY : You're next ! He's talking to Martha, aiming at her... er, in classic bad guy fashion he doesn't just pull the trigger and killing spree the whole team. Jack pov shot shows us Martha and her big hair are in his line of fire. Tricky shot, worse than the Blowfish, but Jack pulls it off, and Copley goes down with a hole in his forehead. For all the good that'll do. They rush to Owen's side. MARTHA : Owen ! Can you hear me, Owen ?! TOSH : You've got to help him ! JACK : Owen, stay with me. Owen. Owen, look at me, look at me. Owen, look right at me. Stay with me, Owen, stay with me. Stay with me, buddy. Come on. Come on. MARTHA : Owen, speak to me ! He's gasping for breath, big rattly noisy breath, he blinks, and then... he neither blinks nor breathes. He looked so scared and now he just looks empty. MARTHA : He's dead. JACK : (whispers) Owen... Team Torchwood reactions of shock and woe. Big crane shot from above. Owen lying there all blood soaked and broken. End.	Plan: A: Captain Jack; Q: Who calls in Martha Jones to assist in investigating a string of mysterious deaths? A: UNIT; Q: What organization does Martha Jones work for? A: the team; Q: Who does Captain Jack call in Martha Jones to assist? A: the trail; Q: What leads to a medical testing centre? A: her life; Q: What does Martha Jones risk to go undercover in The Pharm? Summary: Captain Jack calls in Martha Jones, now working for UNIT, to assist the team in investigating a string of mysterious deaths. However, when the trail leads to a medical testing centre, The Pharm, Martha puts her life on the line to go undercover in the increasingly sinister pharmaceutical facility.
[ The cafeteria ] Raj: Hey, I read that someone invented a way to convert your footsteps into electromagnetic energy so you can charge your cell phone while walking. Leonard: We had that idea years ago. How come we never did anything with it? Howard: Probably because we left the diagram of it in the restaurant, and none of us wanted to walk back. Sheldon: I know the real reason you never made progress with that idea. You thought of it September 22nd, 2007. Two days later, Penny moved in, and so much blood rushed to your genitals, your brain became a ghost town. Leonard: That's not what happened. Sheldon: I remember it distinctly because I had just composed my annual poem commemorating the anniversary of Dr. Seuss's death. Howard: No one wants to hear it. Sheldon: Why, die. Why did he die? Old, told. I was told he was old. Leonard: Penny is not the reason I didn't pursue that idea. Sheldon: Oh, really? Since meeting her, what have been your greatest accomplishments? Raj: Easy. Sleeping with Penny. Howard: Getting Penny to go back out with him after she dumped him. Raj: Tricking Penny into getting engaged. Howard: And a few weeks ago, he almost did a pull-up. Leonard: I think someone owes me an apology. Sheldon: Well, don't feel bad. I think we've all been distracted since the girls entered our lives. Howard: You admit Amy's a distraction? Sheldon: Oh, very much so. Listen to this. This is from two days ago. Hi. Hope you're having a good day. Who has time for this constant sexting? Leonard: Well, maybe we have lost our focus. Howard: It wouldn't kill us to get together and brainstorm ideas. Raj: Ooh, we could have one of those retreats. Leonard: Like our own science retreat. Howard: My cousin has a cabin out in the woods. Sheldon: I'm not going to a cabin in the woods. Did you see the movie Cabin in the Woods? Leonard: Then we'll go to a hotel. Sheldon: A hotel? Did you see The Shining? Raj: We could go up to Big Bear and get a house on the lake. Sheldon: Did you see The Lake House? Raj: Nothing bad happens in The Lake House. Sheldon: Yeah, well, no, not to them. To me. Time traveling mailbox. The only time that traveled was an hour and half of my life down the toilet. Leonard: Fine. Then we'll just stay here and do it. Sheldon: Well, you didn't suggest a beach house. Leonard: You would go to a beach house? Sheldon: Well, good Lord, no, have you seen Jaws? [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ We built the Wall ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] We built the pyramids [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] Bang! [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x05 ♪ Original Air Date on October 13, 2014 [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] Penny: Hey. Leonard: Hey. So, the guys and I are talking about having kind of a science retreat this weekend. I just wanted to know if that's okay. You and I had talked about going to brunch on Sunday. Penny: Want to go to Vegas this weekend? Amy: Of course I do. Penny: Bernadette? Girl's weekend. Vegas. You in? Bernadette: Hell, yeah. Penny: Yes. I'll check flights. Bernadette: I'll check hotels. Amy: I'll check my underpants. I'm so excited, I think I peed. Leonard: They seem okay with it. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] Raj: Hey. Leonard: Hey. Howard: Hey. I didn't think you'd make it. Raj: Why not? Howard: Well, 'cause you have a steady girlfriend now, and we assumed you'd have to stay home to lower the food down to her in the pit. Raj: For your information, Emily is working tonight. Sheldon: Yeah, one would assume, on getting out of the pit. Leonard: Okay, let's focus. The girls are gone, we have 48 hours. There are no distractions. Let's change the world. Sheldon: Thinking caps on. Howard: Here we go. Raj: Ooh, this is exciting. We're innovating. I feel like we're in the Facebook movie. Howard: Oh. I never saw that. Sheldon: Really? Raj: Oh. It's wonderful, and I swear I'm not saying that because Justin Timberlake is in it. Sheldon: Yeah, I have it on Blu-ray. We should watch it. Raj: Cool. I'll make the popcorn. Leonard: Guys, in 30 seconds, we went from let's change the world to let's watch TV. Sheldon: I'm sorry. Is that a no? Howard: Okay. No. Leonard's right. We're here to focus. Didn't we used to have a list of all our ideas? Leonard: I, I think I still have it. Sheldon: I did not get a clear answer. I'm gonna set this down now. Leonard: Ah, here it is. Whoa. I haven't looked at these in years. Robot girlfriend. Howard: Mm, that was mine. Leonard: Robot prostitute. Howard: Also mine. Sheldon: Wait. I'm confused. Why would you need both a robot girlfriend and a robot prostitute? Howard: There's just some things you don't do with your robot girlfriend. Raj: Boy, when you met Bernadette, the field of robotics really took a hit. Leonard: Okay, let's just skip all the inventions you can have s*x with. All right, no, here we go, ergonomic heated seat cushion. Howard: No, it vibrates. Keep going. Leonard: You know, let's just come up with something new. Sheldon: You know, a number of significant innovations have been inspired by science fiction. The, the geosynchronous satellite from Arthur C. Clarke. The Motorola flip phone, that came from Star Trek. And I've long suspected that the idea of an African-American president was stolen from the movie Deep Impact. Raj: Hey, the future they show in Back to the Future II is only a year away. A lot of the things in that movie haven't been invented yet. Leonard: How cool would that be if we could make one of those a reality? Sheldon: If we could figure out the scientific basis for Marty's hover board, that would have universal application. Leonard: Well, it's, it's possible at absolute zero, but we would have to remove the temperature restrictions. Raj: Oh, I have an idea. Sheldon: I think I have the same one. Howard: We got to watch Back to the Future II. Raj: I'll make the popcorn. [SCENE_BREAK] [ A Vegas hotel room ] Penny: So, where should we go first? Amy: Ooh. There's a cover band in the lounge. Penny: Nah. Amy: But they play Barry Manilow. Penny: No. Amy: But they're called Fairly Manilow. Penny: Oh. Okay. Amy: Great. Penny: No. Bernadette: Well, what do you want to do? Penny: Well, we're in Vegas. I want to go downstairs, get a bucket of margaritas, dance until I vomit all over a roulette wheel and watch it go everywhere. Amy: What if we don't want to vomit? Penny: Oh, you will. That's why they give you the bucket. Uh-oh. Amy: What? Penny: It's my boss. They moved my field ride up to Monday. Amy: What does that mean? Penny: It means instead of having a week to study, I only have two days. Bernadette: That sucks. Amy: Can you start in the morning? Penny: Uh, it's kind of a lot. You know, let me do a little tonight, and I'll catch up with you guys later. Bernadette: You sure? Penny: Yeah, it's okay. Go ahead. Amy: So, um, now that Penny's not coming... Bernadette: We're not seeing Fairly Manilow. Amy: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] Howard: Hold on. Pause. Something doesn't make sense. Look, in 2015, Biff steals the sports almanac and takes the time machine back to 1955, to give it to his younger self. But as soon as he does that, he changes the future, so the 2015 he returns to would be a different 2015, not the 2015 that Marty and Doc were in. Leoanard: This is Hot Tub Time Machine all over again. If future Biff goes back to 2015 right after he gives young Biff the almanac, he could get back to the 2015 with Marty and Doc in it. Because it wasn't until his 21st birthday that 1955 Biff placed his first bet. Sheldon: Wait. Whoa, whoa. Is placed right? Leonard: What do you mean? Sheldon: Is placed the right tense for something that would have happened in the future of a past that was affected by something from the future? Leonard: Had will have placed? Sheldon: That's my boy. Leonard: Okay, so, it wasn't until his 21st birthday that Biff had will have placed his first bet and made his millions. That's when he altered the timeline. Sheldon: Yeah, but he had will haven't placed it! Howard: What? Sheldon: Unlike Hot Tub Time Machine, this couldn't be more simple. When Biff gets the almanac in 1955, the alternate future he creates isn't the one in which Marty and Doc Brown ever use the time machine to travel to 2015. Therefore, in the new timeline, Marty and Doc never brought the time machine... Leonard: Wait. Is brought right? Sheldon: Marty and Doc never had have had brought? Leonard: I don't know. You did it to me. Sheldon: Oh, I'm going with it. Marty and Doc never had have had brought the time machine to 2015. That means 2015 Biff could also not had have had brought the almanac to 1955 Biff. Therefore, the timeline in which 1955 Biff gets the almanac is also the timeline in which 1955 Biff never gets the almanac. And not just never gets. Never have, never hasn't, never had have hasn't. Raj: He's right. Also, what kind of name is Biff? Sounds like when you pop open a can of Pillsbury dough. Biff. Howard: Oh, that stuff is so good wrapped around cocktail weenies. Leonard: Guys. Sheldon: Do you know that the word wiener comes from the German name of the Austrian capital Vienna, or Wien? Raj: Do you know if you look at Austria on a map it actually looks like a wiener? Leonard: Guys, what are we doing? We sent the girls away so we could focus. Sheldon: I don't think it worked. [SCENE_BREAK] [ A bar in Vegas ] Amy: Maybe after this, you'll be in the mood for some Manilow. Bernadette: I think after this, I'll be dead. Amy: Look at us out, while Penny's in the room studying. Bernadette: I'm proud of her. This is a great opportunity. It's nice to see her take it seriously. Amy: It is. But enough about Penny. Let's talk about us. We're looking good. Bernadette: We are. Amy: Better than good. I mean, look at you. Your body's bangin'. Bernadette: Amy. Amy: Don't Amy me. We're always talking about how hot Penny is. Come on, scientist to scientist, how big are those Hadron Colliders? Bernadette: You're embarrassing me. Amy: Oh, don't be embarrassed. I'll show you the divot in my spine. Bernadette: What? Amy: No, no, it's okay. I was born with it. If you put a double-A battery in there, it makes my leg kick. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Leonard's laboratory ] Leonard: All right. Sheldon: Oh, this is already better. There are far fewer distractions in here. Raj: Plus, this is where our minds are conditioned to focus on work. Leonard: So, I've been thinking about the hover boards, and maybe there's a way we could use Maglev technology. Howard: Or if we could figure out a way to supercool the materials, we could utilize quantum coupling. Sheldon: Well, I wonder if anyone's tried that. Raj: Go online and look it up. (Shortly afterwards) Howard: Oh, I can't argue with him. It's right there on the screen. Austria does look like a wiener. Raj: That's nothing, dude. Go check out how hung Florida is. Leonard: I'm sure Mrs. Florida's walking funny. Can we get back to work? Sheldon: Yeah, he's right. Oh, here's a thought. What if we use some form of operant conditioning techniques to keep us from getting off topic? Howard: Like behavior modification? Sheldon: Yeah, exactly. Did you know those techniques were used to actually teach pigeons to play ping-pong? Raj: That cannot be true. (Shortly afterwards) Raj: Hey, it was match point. Leonard: Some psychologists perform operant conditioning with punishment. Maybe we can come up with a punishment for straying off topic. Raj: Not getting to see who wins at pigeon ping-pong comes to mind. Howard: We could snap a rubber band on our wrists every time we get sidetracked. Sheldon: Mmm, not bad. You know, in medieval times, idle chatter was punished with a device called the scold's bridle. It's an iron cage that's locked around the head and pierces the tongue. Leonard: If only we had one. Sheldon: Oh, I'll check Amazon. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The hotel room ] Bernadette: Housekeeping. Amy: We had a complaint about somebody pooping on a party in there. Bernadette: It was us the whole time. Amy: Why'd you tell her? It was working. Bernadette: Was it working? Penny: Yeah. Bernadette: Oh, I'm so sorry. Penny: You guys look like you're having fun. Amy: We're having the best time. Bernadette: Guess who won a hundred dollars playing craps. Penny: That's a dollar. Bernadette: Then guess who wildly overtipped a cocktail waitress. Amy: Hey, Penny, hey, let's go. We found a place that has Australian male strippers. Bernadette: We want to see if they twirl their junk in the other direction. Penny: That sounds so great. But I have a little more studying to do. Amy: Can you believe this nerd? Bernadette: Come on, do you want to sit here being a loser, or do you want to watch me climb into an Australian man's G-string like a baby kangaroo? Penny: All right, guys, look, I would love to go out, but I've got to get this done, okay? So have fun at the club. And if you get in trouble, find a policeman. And if he's taking off his pants, he is not a real policeman. Amy: Okay, okay, this is obviously very important to her. Let's just, we'll help her study so she can get done quicker. Here, here, I'm gonna quiz you. I'm gonna quiz you. I got your notes. I got your notes. I got your notes. If you want these, they're gonna be at the strip club. Bernadette: Aren't you gonna chase her? Penny: To the walk-in closet? Sure. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Leonard's lab ] Leonard: Okay, so we agree, whenever someone takes us off topic they get their arm hair yanked off. Raj: And I really can't let that happen or the girl who does my eyebrows will think I've been cheating on her. Leonard: All right, now, one benefit of quantum coupling... Sheldon: Wait, a question, who decides if someone's gone off topic? Leonard: I think it'll be pretty clear. If not, we'll take a vote. Oh, and also... Sheldon: Ow. We didn't vote! Leonard: We didn't have to, that was clearly a tangent. Now come on. Back to work. If we're leaning towards quantum coupling... Aah! Why? Sheldon: You said quantum coupling. That made me think of the show Quantum Leap. That's a tangent and it's your fault. Howard: That's ridiculous. Sheldon, I vote that is not a tangent. Leonard: Thank you. And now I owe you one. Sheldon: Ow. That was your fault. Howard: Hey. Raj: Ooh, that is a lot of hair. Ow. And now I'm gonna hear it from Jenny. Leonard: Everyone stop. This was a stupid idea. Negative reinforcement isn't working. Sheldon: I think you mean positive punishment. Negative reinforcement is the removal of a positive stimulus. It's a common mistake. Howard: Negative reinforcement is really wrong? Sheldon: Oh, it's used incorrectly all the time. Even Bill Murray makes that mistake in the first scene of Ghostbusters. Raj: No way. Not Bill Murray. (Shortly afterwards) Bill Murray (on screen): I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability. Raj: Huh. Bill Murray did get it wrong. Howard: Jump ahead to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Leonard: No. Sheldon: Leonard's right. We can't just jump ahead. We have to watch the whole movie. Leonard: Look. We keep procrastinating. We saw Back to the Future II, pigeons playing ping-pong, a bunch of countries that look like genitals and one guy whose genitals look like Denmark. Raj: Yeah, sorry for clicking on that. Leonard: It's late. We've wasted hours. Can we please find it in ourselves to do any amount of work tonight? Sheldon: But we didn't see them bust one ghost. Leonard: So you're, you're saying we should stand here in my lab on a Saturday night and watch the rest of Ghostbusters on a crappy laptop? Sheldon: No. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] All: Ghostbusters! Leonard: It really does hold up. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The Vegas strip club ] (dance music blaring, women whooping and cheering) Bernadette: See? Isn't this better than a hotel room? Penny: Yep. Shake that thing. Bernadette: Have you ever seen a body so fine? Amy: We had some pretty hot corpses in my anatomy class, but none of them moved like that. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The hotel room ] Penny: Good morning. You want to go to the pool? (both groaning) Come on, you said it yourself, only nerds and losers stay in the room. Wow, it's bright out. Isn't it bright? I should probably close these curtains. Nah. Bye. Bernadette: Would you please close the drapes? Amy: Okay.	Plan: A: Sheldon; Q: Who claims the men have not invented anything significant recently because of their girlfriends? A: the men; Q: Who is distracted by their girlfriends? A: a weekend; Q: How long do the men plan to brainstorm? A: the free time; Q: What do the women use to go to Las Vegas? A: their old brainstorming sessions; Q: What do the men review to find ideas that involve robot girlfriends? A: the hover board; Q: What did the men work on from Back to the Future Part II? A: Leonard's frustration; Q: What does Leonard think of the men's inability to finish the hover board? A: Leonard's lab; Q: Where do the men end up watching Ghostbusters with Leonard? A: the internet; Q: What is the main distraction in Leonard's lab? A: her boss; Q: Who gives Penny some homework in Vegas? A: fun; Q: What do Amy and Bernadette have at the strip club? A: the pool; Q: Where does Penny go to get revenge for last night? A: the window; Q: Where did Penny blind Bernadette and Amy with the sun? A: extremely terrible hangovers; Q: What do Bernadette and Amy have to deal with after Penny blinds them with the sun? Summary: Sheldon claims the men have not invented anything significant recently because they had all been distracted by their girlfriends, so they plan a weekend of brainstorming. The women use the free time to go to Las Vegas. Reviewing their old brainstorming sessions the men find only ideas that involve robot girlfriends. Next they work on the hover board from Back to the Future Part II, but keep getting distracted much to Leonard's frustration. Later at Leonard's lab they have further distractions from the internet and end up back at home watching Ghostbusters along with Leonard. Meanwhile in Vegas, the women are about to go out when Penny is given some home work by her boss. Bernadette and Amy leave and get drunk. When they return to their room, they find Penny still studying, but take her with them to a strip club, where Amy and Bernadette have fun while Penny keeps studying. The next morning a relaxed Penny heads to the pool and gets her revenge for last night by blinding Bernadette and Amy with the sun from the window while they both deal with extremely terrible hangovers.
Skyline: The light atop the space needle glows. ACT I [Scene 1 - A newly constructed home. Frasier, Roz, and others are in work clothes. The house is decorated for its presentation to the new owners. The team leader addresses the volunteers.] Leader: So, on behalf of myself, the volunteers, and especially the team from KACL [Frasier and Roz give a quick enthusiastic cheer.], I'd like to welcome you, the Grant family, to your new Habitat For Humanity house. [The group starts to cheer. Frasier interrupts.] Frasier: Uh, Ronnie, if I may... [We see the Grant family, husband, wife, and preteen daughter, for the first time. Mr. Grant is about to accept the welcome, but is interrupted by Frasier's speech.] Frasier: When my co-workers first signed me up for this project without my knowledge, I was, uh--well, I'll say it--irked. But I'm glad they did. Because I've had a chance to learn the pride that comes when you build something with your own two hands. As carpenter's helper, I sanded that newel post out there. [We see the Grants becoming impatient at Frasier's speech.] As painter's helpers's assistant, I stirred the paint for the trim in the kitchen. I was also surprised to learn that electricians [looking at Roz] don't have helpers. Roz: It's getting dark... Frasier: Oh, right, right, of course. [to the Grants] Enjoy your new home. [handing keys to Mr. Grant] I know I did, and if ever these walls should tumble...keep an eye out for my Harvard class ring. Thank you. Mr. Grant: It's hard to believe the house is finally ours. We can't thank everybody enough. Thank you. [Everyone applauds. The group disperses.] Roz: Are you sure you took enough credit for the house? Frasier: I took just enough, Roz. It's not my fault I'm not licensed to use a plug-in tool. Roz: Frasier, those guys... you don't need a... never mind. [Frasier is somewhat confused. Fade out.] [Scene 2 - Frasier's Apartment. Daphne rushes in. Niles follows, carrying her equipment. Martin sits at the dining table.] Daphne: I'm sorry I'm so late, Martin. Martin: No problem, everything okay? Daphne: [angrily] My mum is a mean, spiteful woman! [Niles sets down the massage table, which Daphne then forcefully lifts and drops again, causing Niles to jump.] Martin: Uh, maybe we should talk this out before you put your hands on me. Niles: Daphne and her mom had a big fight this morning. Gertrude's been especially difficult to live with lately. Daphne: Yeah, last night, she got the neighbor's cat drunk again. Niles: [deadpan] One of them threw up in the hot tub. Daphne: Well, I told her, we will not tolerate this inconsiderate behavior anymore. If she wants to be part of this household, she has to get off her lazy bum and help out around the house. How did I put it, Niles? Niles: I couldn't hear you. I was in the panic room. But you looked very forceful on the monitor. [During the previous exchange, Niles and Daphne have set up the portable massage table. Niles now lines it with towels.] Daphne: Anyhow, she pinched me keys and drove off in a snit. Niles had to drive me over. Why I'm so mad I could break something! [She abuses a towel, wringing it angrily. She then beats the table with the towel.] Daphne: Are you ready, Martin? Martin: Let's give it a few more minutes. [Niles walks to the table and picks up a very small policeman's hat.] Niles: What is this? Has Frasier been attempting the laundry again? Martin: No, that's Eddie's. It's for a safety talk Eddie and I are giving at Glenbrook Elementary. Daphne: Sounds like fun. Martin: Oh, yeah! We're replacing a talking parrot act. Officer Chirpy and Sergeant Bob. Dick Chirpy was one of the finest officers I ever served with. It's funny, you know, with a name like Chirpy, you'd think he'd be the parrot, but as I said before, he wasn't, he was the guy. The parrot being Bob. Niles: That's fascinating. Dad, are you sure you want to do this? I spoke at a career day once. It was a disaster. All the Taunting and yelling, I haven't been so... I haven't been so afraid of third graders since ninth grade. Martin: Well, thanks for the warning, son, but Eddie and I will be fine. Hey! Would you like to see part of the act? Daphne: We'd love to. Martin: Oh, great. Take a seat. Come on, Eddie! Show time! [Eddie trots in.] Okay. Eddie, what should you do before you cross a street? [Eddie looks to the right and left.] Martin: That's right! Look both ways. How about if a stranger approaches you? [Eddie backs away, barks, and leaps on the couch, hiding behind Daphne.] Martin: Right again! Yell, and run to someone you trust. [Daphne and Niles warmly pet Eddie.] Martin: Okay. What about if you catch on fire? [Eddie jumps off the couch, pauses in front of Martin, drops to the ground, and rolls around.] Martin: That's right! Stop, drop, and roll! What do you think? [Frasier enters from the rear.] Daphne: I think the kids are going to love it. Frasier: I see Dad's been showing you the act. [Eddie continues to writhe on the ground. Frasier walks to a desk, opens a drawer, and removes something. He attempts to close it, and it is stuck.] Frasier: Hmm. Darn. This drawer isn't closing properly. I'd better go get my tools and have a look at it. Niles: You sure you know what you're doing? Frasier: Niles, please. I built a house. I think I can handle a simple drawer. You know, it's probably the slidey thing. Or the drawer may have become warped. If that's the case, then she's going to need to be planed, sanded, and refitted. [Niles kneels and examines the drawer.] Niles: Or you could turn the stapler on its side. [He does this. The drawer smoothly slides shut.] Frasier: [dryly, somewhat embarrassed] I paid good money for an upright stapler. [Frasier turns the stapler back up and attempts to close the drawer, which sticks again. He walks back to the kitchen. Niles rolls his eyes. Fade out.] EVERYBODY'S GONNA FUNG SHUI TONIGHT [Scene 3 - The newly built house. Frasier has just knocked, and is being welcomed by the Grants. He carries a mailbox decorated with a bow.] Mr. Grant: Dr. Crane, it's great to see you! What are you doing here? Frasier: Well, I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd stop by to see how you two are coming along, and I also wanted to drop off this--this little gift for you. I thought it would be perfect for the house. Mr. Grant: Thank you very much, very generous. Mrs. Grant: How lovely. Thank you. Mr. Grant: Come in. Make yourself at home. Sorry for all the boxes. Frasier: Oh, no, please don't apologize. You know, this is a beautiful print. [The framed print leans against the couch.] Mrs. Grant: Oh, thank you. Actually, we've been debating about where to hang this. Mr. Grant: I was thinking up on the wall. [He indicates a wall to Frasier's right. Frasier is standing just inside the doorway.] Frasier: Uh-huh. Well, that's an excellent place, but uh, however, it comes to my mind that actually if you hung it opposite the front door, it would be the first thing your guests see when they arrive. Mrs. Grant: What a wonderful idea. Frasier: Well, thank you. Eh, um, actually, if you don't mind a little suggestion--um, if you put the couch, say... [Frasier pushes the couch to a different angle, causing the Grants to step back. The couch now faces two chairs.] Frasier: ...like this, you see, you've got a lovely conversation area, as well as a clear view of the television. Mrs. Grant: You really have a gift for this. Frasier: Oh, gosh, it's hardly a gift. It's a knack perhaps, a--a flair at best. Mrs. Grant: Wow. Wait until we tell people that our living room was decorated by Dr. Frasier Crane. Frasier: Oh, please. Hardly decorated, but you know, if you'd like to sit down and sketch out a few ideas together, I'd be delighted. Mrs. Grant: Seriously? Frasier: Sure. Mrs. Grant: Wow. Then I insist that you stay for dinner. [She picks up a box.] Frasier: Well, how can I refuse? Here, let me take this for you. [He relieves her of the box.] You know, I had a lot of time to think about this space when I was watching the plaster dry. I was plaster watcher. [They move back to the kitchen. Mr. Grant has a decidedly impatient and uncomfortable look on his face. Fade out.] BLOOD IS THICKER THAN LATTE [Scene 4 - Cafe Nervosa Niles and Daphne are seated at a table. They are waited on by none other than Gertrude Moon, who is wearing a green Cafe Nervosa apron.] Gertrude: Can I help you? Daphne: Mum, what are you doing here? Gertrude: Just following orders. Working myself ill, so I can contribute to Her Highness's household coffers. Niles: I'm sure Daphne only meant to suggest that perhaps you might help out a little bit more at home. Gertrude: "Contribute" is the word she shouted down from her high horse. But I'll be glad to "help out" with the wages I earn serving strangers with my arthritic hands. Now, how may I provide you with excellent service? Niles: Well, uh, what would you recommend? Gertrude: Not having children. [She leaves the table.] Daphne: [extremely irritated] What does she think she's doing? Niles: I guess this is just her childish attempt to embarrass us. Working here, she's hoping we'll retreat in humiliation. Daphne: I stopped being humiliated after she showed up in that Spring Break video. [Martin enters in his uniform.] Martin: Hello. Niles: Hi, Dad. Martin: [taking a seat] Well, it's been 60 years, but once again, I am the toast of the second grade. Niles: Congratulations. Daphne: So it went well, then? Martin: Oh, the kids loved it! When it was over, they all ran out and gave me and Eddie big hugs. Niles: [moving away from Martin, closer to Daphne] Well, Dad, then you might just want to consider having that uniform cleaned. Kids that age are always carrying germs. God knows what you picked up. [He takes out a handkerchief and shields his mouth.] Martin: Oh, I'm sure any germs on their hands were jarred loose by their wild applause. The principal asked us to come back and have an assembly for all the fourth graders. Niles: Dad, good luck! It's well known that of the cruelest grades, ninth is third, seventh is second, and fourth is first! [Martin makes a puzzled face at Niles. Gertrude again approaches.] Gertrude: If you're not going to order, I'll have to ask you to leave this establishment. Martin: Gert! You working here? Gertrude: At Daphne's insistence. The blood is pooling in my feet, but at least I'm contributing to the palace's upkeep. Say, maybe I could sell some of that blood, and give my daughter her cut. Is that a good idea, Daphne? Should I sell my blood for you? Daphne: [deadpan] No, Mum, you can keep your blood. Gertrude: Did you hear that everyone? My daughter's letting me keep my blood! [Martin immediately rises and exits. The other patrons applaud Gertrude's loud speech. Niles and Daphne rise to follow Martin as quickly as possible.] Niles: Okay, that's nice. Maybe we'll go have coffee at home. Gertrude: No tips. Nice. [Niles and Daphne exit with as much dignity as they can preserve. Fade out.] [Scene 5 - Exterior of the Grant home. Frasier knocks on the door.] Mrs. Grant: [flatly] Frasier. Hi. What a surprise. [She is clearly neither surprised nor pleased to see him.] Honey, guess who's here again! Mr. Grant: Whoa! Four times in one week. Frasier: Hi, Chet. How do you like the sconces, huh? Mr. Grant: Uh, good, good. I thought you had plans tonight. Frasier: Well, I was just driving by and I noticed something rather alarming. Mr. Grant: [impatiently, feigning politeness] What is it? Frasier: It seems somebody has put a--a cow mailbox at the end of your driveway. Mrs. Grant: That's ours. Chet put it up this morning. Mr. Grant: If you want, we'd be happy to give you back the one you gave us. Frasier: No, no, no, that's not necessary. It was a gift, and it was custom-painted to match the shutters--exactly the way I pictured it when this house was no more than a foundation. Now the cow is--is beautiful, but is it really the first impression you want to make? Remember, a mailbox is a house's handshake. [The Grants are nearing the end of their patience.] Mrs. Grant: [deadpan] We like the cow. It's cute. Mr. Grant: Besides, we're thinking about replacing the shutters. Maybe put up some awnings. Mrs. Grant: And a screen door. Wouldn't that be cozy? Frasier: Gosh, I'm sorry. Everything's going so fast. I, uh--last night when I drove away from here, it seemed like we were all on the same page. Now it feels like we're working at cross-purposes. How do we feel about the accessories? Mrs. Grant: They're okay. Frasier: Okay? Last night, they were to die for! Mrs. Grant: That doesn't sound like something I'd say. Frasier: Well, I remember somebody saying it. [Mr. Grant is completely baffled and at a loss as to what to do to get rid of Frasier as politely as possible.] Frasier: Look, all right, let's, let's just try to calm down here. Marge, why don't you go serve up some of that world-famous apple pie of yours. We can all sit down and work this out. Mr. Grant: [gently pushing him out the door] Thanks, Dr. Crane, you've been a big help, but I think that we can take it from here. Frasier: Well, but surely... Mrs. Grant: Good night, Dr. Crane! [The door is closed shut with Frasier on the outside. The Grants look at each other in relief and concern. Frasier, clearly agitated, places his hand on the door, quite reluctant to leave. Fade out.] END OF ACT I ACT II [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene 6 - Backstage of an elementary school auditorium. Niles and Martin walk in, but Martin is struggling and clearly not well. He is in uniform.] Niles: Dad, this is crazy. If you're too sick to drive yourself here, you're too sick to give a safety talk. Martin: [sitting in a chair near a curtain] I'll be fine. I just have to get over this dizziness. [He swabs his face with tissues.] Principal: [peeking around the curtain] There you are, Mr. Crane. I was getting nervous. Niles: Listen, my dad's not feeling well. I think it would be best if we canceled the assembly. Principal: Are you kidding? If we cancel this thing, we'll have a riot on our hands. The teachers are expecting a free period. Martin: The kids are looking forward to seeing the safety show. Eddie and I aren't going to let them down. Niles: Okay, if you really think you can do this. Martin: I can. [He rises with great effort and exhales.] And by the way, you're just as beautiful today as you were the day I married you. Niles: Okay, I let that go the first time. Sit down. We're going to get him some ice water. We're going to keep him off his feet. Principal: Okay, but you'll have to go on in his place. Niles: Heh-heh. No, I can't do that. Principal: Yes, you can. Safety is everyone's concern. And I can't guarantee yours if you don't. [The principal exits to the stage and stands at the lectern. The hall is full of murmuring fourth graders.] Principal: Quiet, quiet people, settle down. Gameboys off. Let's give a warm fourth-grade welcome to Officer Eddie and...friend. [Niles ambles to the lectern uncomfortably. He is wearing Martin's hat. He leads Eddie, who is wearing his miniature hat. Eddie sits next to the lectern.] Niles: [enunciating loudly and unnaturally] Hello, safety fans. I'm Citizen-Officer Niles, and this is my partner, Officer Eddie! [There is no reaction. Niles becomes more uncomfortable.] Niles: Okay. [reading from a card] Officer Eddie will now show us how to act in various dangerous situations. Say, Officer Eddie, can you show the kids what to do before they cross the street. [Eddie, who has risen, simply sits again. The kids are bored.] Niles: That's right, we wait for the signal. Okay, uh, Eddie, show the boys and girls what to do if they're lost. [Eddie runs off the stage to Martin.] Niles: Eddie? Come here boy, hey! [giving up] Children, I have a confession to make. I'm not a Citizen-Officer. I'm a psychiatric doctor specializing in marriage and family counseling. [The kids start to boo loudly, yelling catcalls, "Get out of here!" etc.] Niles: I know, I know. The point is... [yelling to overcome the booing] ...The point is that my father is an actual officer, and he'd be here today, except he got a nasty cold, probably from some careless youngsters at his last assembly--which brings up a different, yet no less important kind of safety--hygiene! [Niles grins stupidly. Martin reacts behind the curtain.] Martin: Oh, geez. Niles: I would like to introduce you to the first defense in the war against germs: Officer Pocket Square! [He pulls out his ever-present handkerchief. The kids begin to laugh.] Niles: Okay, okay. Maybe it's not cool to carry a handkerchief around anymore. Kid: [yelling from the audience] It's not! Niles: Is influenza cool? Is scarlet fever cool? Do you have any idea how many germs there are on just one finger? Yes, that finger, for example! [becoming passionate] It's millions! Or take simple dust. Do you know what dust is? It's the excretion of mites! Little bugs that are eating your skin right now! [He waves his finger at them.] [Niles has taken on a menacing, warning tone, as if telling a scary Halloween story. The kids begin to warm to this.] Principal: [backstage, to Martin] What the hell is he doing? Martin: He's freaking me out, that's what he's doing. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene 7 - Cafe Nervosa Roz enters and meets Frasier at a table.] Frasier: Oh, Roz, hey, come and join me. I'm in a bit of a pickle. I--I'm not sure the Grants are the right family for our house. Roz: Who? Frasier: The Grants--the people who moved into the house we built. Roz: You went back there? Frasier: Just a few times, yes, to try to share with them the principles of decor, room flow, general livability. Then they literally showed me the door. Yes, Roz, the very door I hung for them in the first place. Take a moment to digest the irony. Roz: Frasier, what do you expect, it's their house. Frasier: Yes, but I helped to build it. Roz: Okay, untangling extension cords and stirring paint isn't exactly building a house. Frasier: Oh, I know I didn't do much. The truth is I've never really been very handy. In elementary school, I made an ashtray for my dad. It caught fire. Roz: Frasier, you did your part, but now you have to let go. Poor family. Probably think you're some rich arrogant guy who's bossing everyone around. [A waiter brings their coffee.] Frasier: Oh, Lord. Well, maybe I owe them an apology, Roz, I mean the last thing I want Marge and Chet to think of me is that I'm some sort of snob. [with disgust] Did I tell you they have a cow mailbox at the end of their driveway? Roz: My mom has a cow mailbox. Frasier: Well, sure, that's Wisconsin. The buckle on the bumpkin belt. [Daphne enters.] Daphne: Hey, you two. Frasier: Oh, hi, Daph. [Daphne walks to the counter.] Daphne: A latte, please. [Gertrude emerges from the back and approaches the counter.] Gertrude: Daphne! Here it is. My first paycheck. [She holds it up for Daphne to see.] $74.12 post tax. See, everybody! I'm helping out my well-to-do daughter with my pittance of a paycheck. Daphne: [playing along] Thanks. [She takes the paycheck. Gertrude doesn't seem to expect this.] Gertrude: I suppose you're going to ask me to stop working here. Well, I don't care if you are embarrassed. I will contribute to the household like you told me, even if it kills me. Daphne: [giving the speech no heed and presenting the back of the check] Sign here. Gertrude: Right, then. [She signs the check.] I'll just work here till I keel over dead. Kindly set aside a few pennies from my pay for a nice casket. Daphne: [smiling] Already taken care of. [Daphne exits with her coffee. Gertrude is quite irritated that Daphne is not reacting as she expected. Fade out.] [Scene 8 - School auditorium Niles continues his "presentation."] Niles: Four rodent hairs, and the head capsule of an adult grain beetle. [The kids enthusiastically yell out "Ew!" etc., followed by various calls of "Chocolate! Milk! Meat! Cookies!"] Niles: Okay, I heard chocolate, I'll take chocolate. Per 100 grams, the government allows an average of approximately 60 insect fragments and the odd rodent hair. [Again, the kids enthusiastically react to being grossed out.] Niles: But let's say you want to play it safe. Maybe drink a can of fruit juice. That's healthy... or is it? Well, sure... if your idea of healthy is approximately five fly eggs and a maggot! This is your government, people! [Martin and the Principal are watching in horror. The kids react to Niles's last speech. The principal comes forward to bring things to a merciful close.] Principal: All right, let's thank Dr. Crane for coming by today... [The kids react with a chorus of "No's," as they have been enjoying Niles immensely.] Principal: ...but I'm afraid we're out of time. [The kids continue to shout "No!" and "Stay!"] Principal: Okay, okay, one more, and then we have to say goodbye. Niles: Well, I can't leave without mentioning our friend, the hot dog. Or perhaps it should be called "hot parasitic cysts, insect fragments, general grit, and rodent droppings." Thank you. [The crowd of fourth-graders stands in unison and applauds Niles enthusiastically.] Principal: Thank you, Dr. Crane, for that most enlightening talk, [glaring at Niles] and right before lunch. Everyone exit in a single line to the cafeteria, please. [The crowd disperses. Martin approaches Niles, who gives him back his hat.] Martin: Good job, Niles! Niles: Thanks. Martin: It was touch and go there for a while, but you came through with flying colors. Hey, quick thinking making up that stuff about the hot dogs. Niles: Thanks, Dad, but, you know, I didn't make anything up. Martin: I said it was okay to make up that stuff about the hot dogs, which I love and had for breakfast. Niles: Yes, well, I guess I was faster on my feet than I knew. [An African-American kid (James) approaches Niles.] James: Excuse me, sir. I just wanted to say, you were great up there. Niles: Thank you. [Niles and Martin begin to leave. Niles than turns back to the kid.] Niles: Hey, kid! [He pulls out his packet of handkerchiefs, removes one, and tosses it to the kid.] Here. James: Wow! Thanks, Citizen-Officer Niles! [Martin and Niles exit. Martin puts his arm around Niles, partly for support and partly out of pride. The kid follows. Fade out.] [N.B.: This appears to be a reference to the 1970's Coke commercial where "Mean" Joe Green of the Steelers threw his jersey to an admiring young fan after a particularly inspiring game.] [Scene 9 - Exterior of the Grant house Frasier and Roz approach the door.] Frasier: Thanks for coming along with me, Roz. I'm not sure they'd open the door if it was just me. [Frasier knocks. The daughter (Sandy) opens the door, which is stopped by a chain.] Sandy: It's him again! Frasier: [talking through the crack allowed by the chain] I--I'm sorry to disturb you. You remember Roz. Roz: [making herself visible] Hi! [Mrs. Grant has come to the door. She is not pleased.] Mrs. Grant: Hello. Frasier: I--I just wanted to say how sorry I am for my behavior this last week. I've been intrusive and controlling. I lost sight of the fact that this is your home--to do with as you will, and I sincerely wish you all many years of happiness in it. Mr. Grant: [who has approached] Thank you. Mrs. Grant: You care to come in? [She closes the door and unlatches the chain.] Frasier: Oh, we'd be honored to be guests in your home. [Frasier and Roz enter. The entire decor is now a "cow" motif. The couches have white covers with black Holstein spots. The curtains have the same pattern. It pervades everything. There are even prints of Holsteins on the wall.] Frasier: Oh, look what you've done with the place! [Frasier controls himself admirably and forces a smile.] Mrs. Grant: Do you like it? Roz: I think it's great. What do you think, Frasier? [Frasier maintains his large smile and nods in mock approval.] Mr. Grant: Would you like to take a tour? Frasier: [with great restraint and forced enthusiasm] Mm-hmm! [The Grants lead Frasier and Roz deeper in the house.] Mr. Grant: We just finished repainting the den yesterday. Roz: Oh, Frasier, you've got to see this. Frasier: Oh? Oh... wow, that's purple! [He smiles broadly and chuckles.] [Scene 10 - Time fade Frasier and Roz are ready to leave the house.] Roz: Thank you again for the tour. Your home is lovely. Mr. Grant: We like it. Mrs. Grant: It's the kind of home we've always dreamed of. Frasier: [barely maintaining his pasted-on grin] Yes! [Frasier turns quickly and exits. Roz follows.] Roz: Good night. Mr. Grant: Good night. [Mr. Grant closes the door. Cut to Frasier and Roz on the porch.] Roz: Frasier, I am very proud of you. Frasier: [sighing with relief] I did it. I didn't criticize. I said nothing judgmental. I didn't say a single word about their horrible, horrible taste. Roz: You were great. Frasier: I finally did it! This was the ultimate test and I passed! I can finally let go. Good-bye, house. I release you. [He turns to walk away, following Roz. Suddenly, he runs back to the porch. He begins to move a chair from the right side of the door.] Roz: [offstage] They're going to call the police! Frasier: Shut up! [He places the chair on the other side of the door, under the window.] It's better this way! [Frasier looks back quickly to see if they saw him do this, then runs quickly after Roz. Fade out.] Credits The "nonflappable" male waiter who has been a fixture this season is clearing tables. Gertrude spies on one of his customers, who leaves a tip and exits. She quickly runs to the table and snatches the tip. The waiter catches her and beckons for her to give it to him. She does so, with disappointment at having been caught. He continues to beckon. She removes some more cash from her apron pockets and hands it over to him. He beckons once more. She reaches down her blouse and retrieves still more bills. He holds up his hand, indicating that she can keep them. She shrugs and puts the cash in her pocket.	Plan: A: A team; Q: How many volunteers from KACL helped build a house for the charity "Housing for Humanity"? A: Frasier; Q: Who is proud of his contribution to the charity? A: his right; Q: What does Frasier see it as to call around the house to advise the Grant family on how to decorate it? A: the place; Q: What does Frasier advise the Grant family on how to decorate? A: their very different tastes; Q: What causes the conflict between the Grant family and Frasier? A: Roz; Q: Who decides to intervene when the Grant family and Frasier have a conflict over decorating? A: a heated argument; Q: What caused Daphne's mother to start working at Café Nervosa? A: Daphne; Q: Whose mother is trying to make her daughter feel guilty? A: Martin; Q: Who is taken ill and Niles is forced to stand in? A: a sensational safety act; Q: What do Martin and Eddie become at a local primary school? A: the last minute; Q: When is Niles forced to stand in for Martin? Summary: A team of volunteers from KACL have helped build a house for the charity "Housing for Humanity", and although Frasier's contributions were modest he is still proud of them. In fact, he sees it as his right to call round the house several times once the Grant family has moved in, to advise them on how to decorate the place. At first they treat this as an honour, but it quickly becomes a conflict between their very different tastes, and Roz decides to intervene. After a heated argument, Daphne's mother has started working at Café Nervosa in an attempt to make her daughter feel guilty, but Daphne is not prepared to be manipulated. Martin and Eddie become a sensational safety act at a local primary school , at least until Martin is taken ill and Niles is forced to stand in at the last minute.
Derek VO: Ever wonder what happens if a hunter gets bitten, Allison? Ever wonder what happens if you get bitten? What do you think your father would do? What do you think he'd have to do? When all it would take to change everything is - one bite. One bite - Chris: Everything changes. Allison: Is this how we're gonna do father/daughter talks from now on? Chris: No, this is how we're gonna train you. Do you know why we use arrows? Allison: They can't heal until it's taken out. Chris: Look familiar? Allison: You were going to kill him. Chris: That's right. And if we find Isaac on another full moon, we will kill him. That's the hard choice we make. But it wasn't my choice. Allison: Gerard? Chris: No. See, our family has a surprisingly progressive tradition. Knowing wars and violence are typically started by men, we place the final decisions, the hard ones - With the women. Our sons are trained to be soldiers. Our daughters, to be leaders. Training starts now. Time her. Bennett: Congrats. Allison: For what, it took me two and half hours. Bennett: Took me three when I did it. Scott: It had a tail. I don't have a tail. Allison: Maybe you just haven't grown it yet. Scott: I'm not growing a tail. Ever. Are you slowing down for me? Allison: I was waiting for you. Scott: What? Waiting for me to catch up? Allison: You looked like you were struggling. Scott: Maybe I was admiring the view. Allison: Try admiring from afar. Coach: McCall, I don't know why, but your pain gives me a special kind of joy. Right? All right, next two. Stilinski, Erica, let's go. The wall. Erica: Oh, please - Coach: Erica. Dizzy? Is it vertigo? Lydia: Vertigo's a dysfunction of the vestibular system of the inner ear. She's just freaking out. Coach: Erica. Erica: I'm fine. Allison: Coach, maybe it's not safe. You know she's epileptic. Coach: Why doesn't anybody tell me this stuff? I have to get - Erica, y - you're fine. Just - Just kick off from the wall. Th - There's a mat to catch you. Come on. See, you're fine. You're on the ground. You're all right. Let's go. Shake it off. You're fine. Coach: Listen up. Anybody sees Isaac Lahey, you immediately tell the principal. Get a teacher, or you call me. Except for you, Greenberg. Don't call me for anything. I'm not kidding. Don't call me. You shouldn't even have my number. Scott: Isaac? Stiles: It's Derek's problem now. Stiles: What do you mean tonight's not a good idea? Scott: I don't know. That thing that we saw last night, Isaac missing, Allison's grandfather. All this stuff happening with Derek, I just - doesn't feel right. Stiles: No, you're not backing out. Do you wanna know why? Because you and Allison are obviously having quite a good time together. And you know who else wants to have a good time? Stiles! Stiles wants to have a good time - Many, many times. Several times in a row. In several different positions. Are you even listening to me? What - what is that? Allison: Put her on her side. Put her on her side. How'd you know? Scott: I just felt it. Melissa: It's been a while since we saw you, Erica. You were being so good about taking your medication. Erica: Are you gonna tell my mom? Melissa: Well, I swear I don't want to, but there's this team of lawyers in the back who would break my legs, and I don't know if you've seen my legs, but for a girl my age, they're still pretty hot. So - doctor's gonna be in in a minute, okay? Erica: Okay. Derek: Lie still. Derek: Side effects may include anxiety, waking, acne, ulcerative colitis. Yeesh. Erica: Who are you? Derek: Let's just say we have a - mutual friend. You get a - warning right before you have a seizure. Erica: It's called an aura. It's - it's like a metallic taste in my mouth. Derek: You don't have to lie, Erica. What's it really taste like? Erica: It tastes like blood. Derek: What if I told you - that all of this could go away? The side effects - the symptoms - All of it. And what if all those things not only went away - but everything else - got even better? Erica: How? Derek: Let me show you. Video: A small exposure on otherwise deadly virus can actually prevent the effects of the infection from spreading. This is called vaccination. Matt: What the hell did you do to my camera? Jackson: Huh? Matt: The lens is cracked. Video: So by creating an immunity - Matt: Did you drop it? Video: Your body is primed to fight off the infection. Matt: Do you know how expensive this thing is? Video: From meningitis to rabies from an animal bite. Matt: Jackson. Jackson: Just send me a bill. Video: Meaning the subject is now immune. Jackson: What the hell is wrong with you? Lydia: What? Jackson: Show it to me. Show it to me. Come on. Lydia: Are you out of your mind? Jackson: Nothing happened to you. It's like - it's like you're immune. Lydia: I don't have a clue to what you're talking about. Jackson: It's - It's you. Whatever it is - Blood, saliva - Whatever soul - killing substance is running through your veins, you did this to me. You ruined it for me. You ruined everything! Lydia: Hello? This is the girls room. Stiles: Boyd. You got the keys? Boyd: This isn't a favor. It's a transaction. Stiles: Right, yeah. Absolutely. Boyd: I said 50. Stiles: Really, I - I remember 20. I don't know. I have a really good verbal memory. And I remember 20. I remember that distinct "twa" sound, "twa - enty." Boyd: I said fifty. With the "fa" sound. Hear the difference? Stiles: Uh - Boyd: If you can't, I can demonstrate some other words with the "fa" sound. Stiles: Uh, no, n - no. I think I'm recalling it. Now. Maybe I just got it confused with - For - ty. Come on, man, have you seen the piece of crap jeep that I drive? Boyd: You seen the piece of crap bus that I take? Stiles: Fifty. Mmm. Okay. Thank you. Got 'em. Pick you up right after work tonight and we'll meet at the rink, cool? Lydia: What - The holy hell - Is that? Scott: It's Erica. Deaton: Why do I get the feeling you've got a lot on your mind? Scott: Sorry, it just, kind of slipped through my fingers. Everything has been slipping through my fingers. Deaton: Now that sounds like far too world - weary a thing for a teenager to say. Scott: Sorry. Deaton: You might wanna try a different perspective. This is just entropy at work. This is more the natural way of the universe. But it doesn't necessarily mean it's falling apart. It's just - Changing shape. Scott: For better or worse? Deaton: Exactly. Scott: Hey, doc. When are we gonna talk about - The thing that we never got a chance to talk about? Deaton: Oh, yes. We never did get a chance to talk about that, did we? Now is definitely a good time. Scott: Thank God. Deaton: What do you think? Two dollars? Scott: Two dollars? Deaton: You're right. $2.50 more an hour. It seem like a pretty good raise. Scott: It's not exactly what I was - $2.50 more an hour? Deaton: Done. Don't forget to clean up the cat cages. Chris: Headed out? Allison: Studying. Just studying, dad. Chris: I get it. But we need you to remember what happened. Allison: You want me to stop being friends with her? Chris: Actually, we want the opposite. I know how this might sound, but we need you to keep an eye on her. Allison: You want me to spy on her? Chris: We want you to look out for your friend to make sure everything's okay with her. Allison: Seems okay to me. [SCENE_BREAK] Lydia: Could it be any colder in here? Stiles: Here. Lydia: I'm wearing blue. Orange and blue, not a good combination. Stiles: But it's the colors of the Mets. Okay, um, maybe orange and blue is not the best. Right, you know, um, sometimes there's other things you wouldn't think would be a good combination end up turning out to be, like, a perfect combination, you know, like two people together - Who nobody ever thought would be together ever. Lydia: No, I can see that. Stiles: You can? Lydia: Yeah. They're cute together. Stiles: Oh, yeah, them. Lydia: Cute. Stiles: Cute. Adorable. Allison: Since you never skated before, maybe I should give you a few pointers? Scott: Allison. Not that this is news to you or anything, but you remember the werewolf thing? Super speed, strength and reflexes. Allison: So a little ice skating should be no problem. Scott: Yeah. See? It's no problem - ugh! Maybe. Lydia: Well? Come on. Allison: Okay, you got it. You got it. You got - Scott: I think I'm getting the hang of it! Allison: You look like you hit your head that time. Scott: What's that, coach? Allison: You definitely hit your head. Scott: Oh, my eyes. The - the flash triggers them. Allison: This one's normal. Oh, that's not what I meant. Scott: It's okay. Come here. Allison: Thanks Scott: Two's not enough for Derek. I know he needs at least three. So who's next? Erica: Why does there have to be a next when we've already got you? Scott: Who's next? Erica: You know, I never knew what I looked like during a seizure until someone took a video of me once and put it online? Scott: I don't care. Erica: It happened during class. I started seizing in my desk and everyone was saying how they should put something in my mouth until some genius reads the card on my key ring which tells him not to 'cause it could break my teeth. Scott: Erica. Erica: Do you know what happens next? I piss myself. And they start laughing. You know, the only good thing about seizures was that I never remembered them. Until some brilliant jerkoff - had to go and put cameras in everybody's phone. Look at me now, Scott. That's right. You only have eyes for her. Victoria: This is so embarrassing. Melissa: Not at all. I have seen far worse come through these doors. We keep a pair of bolt cutters in the back. Trust me, you don't wanna know what they're for. Victoria: Let me guess. Something about men and their egos. Melissa: Mmm. Boys will be boys. Victoria: Trust me, I know. I was a teacher for years at an all boys private school. Oh, I don't need the anesthetic. Melissa: Are you serious? Okay. Victoria: Speaking of boys, how's Scott? Melissa: Scott? He's, uh, like every other teenager. Victoria: I'm sure he was pretty devastated after the whole breakup. Melissa: He has been a little odd lately, well, you know, he's kind of always odd, but, uh, he doesn't seem all that - Victoria: Heartbroken? Melissa: Yeah. Maybe he just hides it well. Victoria: Teenagers are quite good at hiding things, aren't they? Scott: I know how it looked, but she came up to me. Allison: I'm not jealous. Scott: You're not? Allison: She's with Derek now, isn't she? Like Isaac. You can't get caught in the middle of this. Don't you feel what's happening? My grandfather coming here, Derek turning Erica and Isaac, it's - It's like battle lines are being drawn. Scott: I know. Allison: There's always crossfire. Scott: What am I supposed to do? I can't just stand by. I can't pretend to be normal. Allison: I don't want you to be normal. I want you to be alive. Stiles: Scott. Do you see that? Scott: What, it's an empty table. Stiles: Yeah, but whose empty table? Scott: Boyd. Scott: I'm going to go to the ice - rink, see if he's there. And if he's not at home, you call me, got it? What? Stiles: Maybe we should let him. Boyd, you know, man? You said Derek's giving them a choice, right? Scott: We can't. Stiles: You gotta admit, Erica looks pretty good. You know, the word "sensational" comes to mind. Scott: Yeah. How good do you think she's gonna look with a wolfsbane bullet in her head? Stiles: All right, all I'm saying is maybe this one isn't totally your responsibility. Scott: They all are. And you know this thing's gonna get out of control. That makes me responsible. Stiles: All right, I'm with you. And I also gotta say this new - found heroism is making me very attracted to you. Scott: Shut up. Stiles: No, seriously. Do you wanna just try making out for a sec? Just to see how it feels. Jackson: Derek. I know you can hear me. You owe me an explanation. I wanna know why it - why it didn't work. Screw it. Holy - Chris: Wait. Jackson: What happened to him? Chris: That's a good question. I got one for you. What are you doing here, Jackson? Jackson: Um - nothing, I was - I was - I was just - nothing, I - Chris: Jackson, I hope you're not still pursuing something that you shouldn't be. Because I don't want to be forced to pursue you. Stay out of this. You've got so much good in your life. You're smart, good - looking, you're captain of the lacrosse team. Jackson: Co - captain. Stiles: Hey, Boyd? Hey, Boyd? It's Stiles. Oh - wow. Erica: What are you doing here, Stiles? Stiles: Uh, nothing, I was just looking for, um - Erica: Boyd? Stiles: Yeah. Yes. Boyd. Erica: You know what you're doing right now that's kind of funny? You're only looking in my eyes. Stiles: That's funny? Erica: Well, yeah. Because it's that kind of look where you're trying not to look anywhere other than my eyes, but you want to, don't you? You want a nice, long, hard - Look. Stiles: Not really. No. Erica: Oh. So it's just my eyes? Stiles: Yes. You have beautiful eyes. Erica: I have beautiful everything. Stiles: And a new - found self - confidence. Congratulations, Erica. I should get going. Erica: You're not going anywhere. Stiles: Why not? Erica: You're having car trouble. Chris: I was wondering if you could give me your medical opinion on what killed this man. Deaton: I don't know if you saw the sign out there, but this is just an animal clinic. Chris: I'm aware of that. I'm also aware you're not just a vet. Scott: Boyd. I just wanna talk. Hey, come on, Boyd, please. Did Derek tell you everything? And I don't just mean going out of control on the full moons. I mean everything. Boyd: He told me about the hunters. Scott: And that's not enough for you to say no? Whatever you want there's other ways to get it. Boyd: I just wanna not eat lunch alone every day. Scott: If you're looking for friends, you can do a lot better than Derek. Derek: That really hurts, Scott. I mean, if you're going to review me, at least take a consensus. Erica, how's life been for you since we met? Erica: Hm. In a word - Transformative. Derek: Isaac? Isaac: Well, I'm a little bummed about being a fugitive, but other than that, I'm great. Scott: Okay, hold on. This isn't exactly a fair fight. Derek: Then go home, Scott. Scott: I meant fair for them. Scott: Don't you get it? He's not doing this for you. He's just adding to his own power, okay? It's all about him. He makes you feel like he's giving you some kind of gift when all he's done is turn you into a bunch of guard dogs! Derek: It's true. It is about power. Scott: Don't. You don't wanna be like them. Boyd: You're right. I wanna be like you. Stiles: Bitch. Scott: Why aren't you healing? Deaton: Because it's from an Alpha. I think maybe we better have that talk now.	Plan: A: Chris; Q: Who begins Allison's training to become a werewolf hunter? A: Erica; Q: Who is the epileptic girl that ends up in the hospital? A: the hospital; Q: Where does Erica end up after her seizure? A: her illness; Q: What does Erica's bite promise to vanish? A: Dr. Deaton; Q: Who finds a dead hunter in his office? A: a dead hunter; Q: What does Dr. Deaton find in his office? A: Scott; Q: Who discovers Boyd is now a werewolf? A: Boyd; Q: Who is Scott forced to fight with Derek, Erica, and Isaac? A: Derek,; Q: Who delivers the bite to Erica? A: Jackson; Q: Who is shocked when Boyd exhibits inhuman strength? Summary: Chris begins Allison's training to become a werewolf hunter. At school, Erica, an epileptic girl, has a seizure and ends up in the hospital. There, Derek delivers the bite upon the promise that her illness will vanish. Dr. Deaton finds a dead hunter in his office and Chris wants him to find out what happened. Scott discovers Boyd is now a werewolf and is forced into a fight with Derek, Erica, and Isaac. Jackson is shocked when he exhibits inhuman strength.
Michael: Hey Jim, Jim. Come here. [holds up photo] Do you know who that is? Jim: No. Michael: Look at him. Look at him - t-shirt, jeans... Jim: Is he you? Michael: [laughs] I am flattered. That's Johnny Depp. Jim: Where did you take that? Michael: In my condo complex. Jim: Oh my God, that's right. I read in People magazine that he was looking for a two-bedroom condo in Scranton. Michael: I am flipping out, man. I mean, you remember my idea for the fourth Pirates movie. Jim: Sure. That they should do one. Michael: [feigning accent] Hey, Jim, Jim - where, where do I find the Black Pearl? Jim: Who's that? Michael: Captain Jack Sparrow. Captain Jack Sparrow, Jim. Jim: John Dillinger. Michael: No. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Jim: Captain Crunch. Michael: Okay, okay. Screw you, Halpert. You know, it's not easy getting excited about stuff. Remember how you felt when you thought you'd seen Roger Clemens? Jim: At the Yankees game. Yeah. Michael: Yeah. Well, it wasn't him. Jim: I had a little better reason to believe that... You're right. You're right. Well, you're not right, because Johnny Depp... Michael: I know, I know. Jim: ...in your condo complex. Michael: I know! It also explains why the name on his mailbox was M Shulman. Jim: M. Night Shulman? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [speaking at a staff meeting] First up, the lost and found has gone missing. It itself is lost, so please, try not to lose anything until we find it. Ah, pet day. If you don't have a pet, please don't feel like - Stanley: When are we getting to sales topics? Dwight: Yeah, what about those leads? Did you hear anything from corporate? Michael: Ah, yes, the leads. The leads that Sabre has spent $50,000 to get from a market research company... are not here yet. But will be.. [muttering, people rise to leave] No, no, meeting's not over. Phyllis: But is there anything relevant to the sales staff here? Michael: No sales topic per se. Andy: Well then no Andy Bernard per se. [Andy and others begin exiting the room] Michael: Dwight? Dwight: Sorry, Michael, I got calls to make. Michael: I would like your undivided attention, please. Dwight: You couldn't handle my undivided attention. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Over the last few weeks, things have been changing here. Sabre says it is our duty to support the sales team and the salesmen are letting it go to their heads. I think it's kind of screwed up, because the way this place used to work was[/b]: make friends first, make sales second, make love third, in no particular order. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Listen, Michael - about what happened earlier. Michael: Yeah. Dwight: When I was asking about the leads. Michael: M-hmm. Dwight: ... is there any news on the leads? Michael: Is that all you have to say to me? Dwight: Yeah. You got any news on the leads? ... Okay, I'll tell you what. I'm going out on a very important sales call. You get any news about the leads, you try me. All of my numbers. All six of my numbers, okay? Including the car phone! [leaves office] Alright, Dwight out! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Salesman is king. As the best salesman, I am king of kings. Oh, you say Jesus is king of kings? Well. What does that say to you about how I think of myself? [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Hm-hm. Do you not answer e-mails anymore? Because I've e-mailed you four times asking you to come to my desk. Phyllis: Honey, if I don't have time to answer an e-mail, I definitely don't have time to walk over to your desk. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Wow, wowie wowie. Congratulations. It's a big cheque. [Jim stands in corner, texting] Jim: Oh, sorry, wait one second. Michael: Stop sexting Pam. I'm trying to congratulate you. Jim: This is actually a big potential sale, so... Michael: You writing your memoirs over there? Jim: You writing your name over there? Michael: Well, it's a pretty big check. Jim: That's good. You know, with the kid. Michael: Okay. Don't gloat. Here's the thing. This kind of money can corrupt people. Jim: Alright, here we go. [taps page] Michael... Michael: I'm just saying, that - Jim: Michael - [Michael signs] Great. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [on phone] Very nice. Let me just, let me just write that down real quick. [motions to Darryl] Pencil? Can you give me that pencil? Hang on Teddy... [covers phone] I'm making a sale. Sales. Darryl: There's other pencil's in this office. Andy: Give me that [wrestles with Darryl, Andy falls over chair and to the floor] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Honey and jelly sandwich time. [removes lunch from fridge] Darryl: Michael. Michael: Oh, you got to be kidding me. [holds up squashed sandwich] Look at that. That's - Darryl: I know who did that. Michael: You saw who did this and you didn't stop them? Darryl: Didn't have to see. It was sales. I can feel it. They are out of control. Michael: The sales department smashed my sandwich. Darryl: Yes. All of 'em. Together. It's a conspiracy. Listen to me, Mike, you gotta do something about them. Michael: You don't get it. Darryl: You need to get back on top. Michael: That's what she said. Darryl: Yeah. Michael: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Something came for you, Michael. [hands him a parcel] Michael: Thank you very much. Jim: What'd you get? Michael: Ah, just the stupid leads. Jim: Alright! Stanley: About time. Andy: Me likey! Phyllis: Finally, Michael. Hand 'em over, numbnuts. [Michael stares at her incredulously] But seriously. It's your job to give us those leads. Michael: Alright. Then I guess I should give them out. Hold on. You know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that I have something that you want. You guys are acting like you own this place. And you don't. Not even Sabre owns this place. It's a rental. I'm kind of sick of the attitude around here. I'm sick of the cocky walk, I am sick of you throwing your paycheck in my face, I am sick of your uppity attitude, Jim... I think I am not going to give these to you. [Angela, Kevin and Oscar applaud] Stanley: We need those leads, Michael. It's our job Michael. Michael! [SCENE_BREAK] Gabe: [on phone] Michael, we spent a lot of money on those leads. You have to give them out. Michael: Then we are just rewarding their bad behaviour. Okay. Just - imagine that instead of going to jail for murdering someone, you got an ice-cream cone. If that were the case, then in the summertime, everyone would go around killing people for the pleasure of an ice-cream cone. Gabe: Michael, I don't want to incentivise murder. But - we've tried to make it clear that our policy emphasises sales staff - Michael: They act like I have no power. Gabe: But you do. You are in charge - Miichael: Thank you. Gabe: - of supporting the sales staff. You are required to hand out those leads, Michael. Michael: Hmm. Well, if that is what I am required to do, I will do exactly that. Gabe: Okay, good. Michael: Exactly that. Gabe: Good. Michael: Exactly that. Gabe: Why do you keep repeating - [Michael hangs up] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hello. May I have everyone's attention, please? Gabe has instructed me to hand out the leads, so I'm going to give the leads to... King Creed! [hands him a lead] Phyllis: What are you - Michael: - and to King Meredith! [hands her a lead] Stanley: They aren't salespeople! Michael: And to King Angela! [hands her a lead] Because today we are all kings. And queens [pats Oscar's shoulder]. Phyllis: What the hell do you think you're doing? Michael: I'm giving them the leads, Phyllis. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Hey. Michael: Hey. Jim: So I'm going to go ahead and save you some time, and tell you that no-one's going to go along with this. But you knew that, right? Michael: Mm-hmm. Jim: Alright. So why don't you just give me my share of the leads, and I'll start making some calls? Michael: Okay. [passes Jim some index cards] Jim: Hey, alright. Michael: Alright. Jim: Ahh, these aren't leads. What are they? Michael: Oh, right, those are clues. And within each clue is a lesson. You learn a lesson, and then you find a lead. The leads are scattered all over the industrial park. I am trying to make your kids respect you. Because a father needs to respect his boss, and kids don't respect the father who doesn't respect the boss. Do you understand that line of logic? Jim: I don't think you understand - Michael: I do understand it. Jim: [holds up card] This one's a map. Michael: Or is it? [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Oh, how the tables have turned. I see you got my e-mail. Phyllis: Are you gonna give me the leads or not? Angela: I'll give you the leads. But you know what? It's going to cost you some clerical work [hands her a mountain of paperwork] Phyllis: What are these for? Angela: It doesn't matter. Fill them out. All of them. Then when you're done, you can watch me shred them. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: I want to watch the Kardashians! I don't want to watch boring - Ryan: It's my - Stanley: The Kardashians is a good show. Ryan: No it's - how would he even know the Kardashians? Kelly: It's about a family. A real-life family. Ryan: No, Stanley, do you - [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: [over phone] Hey baby, what's up? Jim: I am currently reading incoherent riddles on blue index cards to find vital information that Michael has hidden all over the office. How are you? Pam: Nothing but vomit and diapers over here. Jim: Oh my god, I couldn't envy you more. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Having a baby is as exhausting as they say it is. Having two babies [holds up index cards] - that's just unfair. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: How about this one - 'When arrogant salesmen are mean to my face, a certain manager will go to his moppy place.' Pam: He means his mopey place, it's under that streetlamp that he thinks was in Casablanca. Jim: I love you. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Today I turned an office crisis into a teachable moment. [cuts to Jim fishing one of the leads out of a catering size tin of Ravioli] A lesser manager would have screwed this day up royally [clue next to Jim reads[/b]: 'Now that's Italian!'] Some yokel sitting behind his desk saying take a lead, learn nothing [cut to scenes of chaos as everyone argues] Some people shouldn't be in this business. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Hey. I guess you probably won't give me your leads since I'm a jerk salesman. Erin: Yeah. I basically wish you were dead. [grins] I hid the leads. Andy: Where? Erin: [mimes zipping mouth and throwing away key, Andy begins to walk away] Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Hot. [Andy hovers his hands above her chest] Hotter. Pretty hot. Lower. Andy: Are you... Erin: Lower. Andy: Are you sure? Erin: Lower [tilts head toward her desk, then flips over her keyboard, revealing the leads. Andy scratches his head, recovering] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: What are you doing, idiot? [Jim is crouched down, peering under a car] Jim: Michael's stupid scavenger hunt. Dwight: Scavenger hunt? Here. I can solve it. Give it. [grabs card] 'The treasure you seek is in the parking lot under the first president.' Jim: [taps car] Lincoln. Dwight: The prankster is getting pranked. Ha ha. Jim: [holds up the retrieved lead] It involves you too. Dwight: The leads are in? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Michael? Michael, you were supposed to tell me when the leads came in. Michael: Well, bigshot, 'If you want to find your leads, go to the man who never breathes'. Dwight: Kevin! Damnit [runs over to Kevin's desk] Kevin, give me those leads. Where are they? C'mon - Kevin: You are never going to find them. Dwight: Really. Kevin: I'm going to enjoy this. Dwight: [begins to strangle him] Gimme the leads. Where are my leads? Kevin: [muffled] I'm still enjoying it. Dwight: Where are they? Kevin: Turn the trash. Turn the trash. Dwight: Turn the trash [releases him - Kevin coughs] It's code. Alright, Meredith, take off your dress. Meredith: [stands up and reaches for her buttons] Okey-dokey. Kevin: No, dear god, no, it's in the trash can. In the kitchen. Meredith: It's coming off anyway. Dwight: [dashes to kitchen, overturns the trash can, tastes the bin liner] Clean sack. Kevin: What - Erin: I emptied it in the dumpster. With Toby's baba ganoush. [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: If we don't patronise the only Syrian restaurant in town, there'll be nothing left but pan pizzas and make-your-own salads. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [dives into dumpster, rattling noises then he emerges] It's empty! Michael: Wait. What day is today? Kevin: Um, tonight is Ghost Whisperer. So, Friday. Michael: Oh my god. Oh my god [takes off running] oh my god, no, no no, hey, hey [chases after garbage van] wait, wait! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Okay. You know what, let's just go to the dump, start looking - Ryan, c'mon, shotgun in my car - Phyllis: Michael, why would we all go to the dump? Michael: Why? Because I am not going to call Sabre and say, 'Hi, you know those very valuable expensive leads that you gave us earlier today? Well, because of a screw-up by a staff member, they're now in the city dump." Stanley: Not your staff, Michael. You. Michael: Well, that's not the way it's going t sound. Here's what we're going to do. We'll go to the dump, we'll look around, then we'll all go out and get pizza, maybe catch a movie, late-night drink, some more pizza, call it a night. What do you - Toby: Does it have to be pizza? Could go for a, falafel? Michael: Really? Angela: I'm not going. You did this, not us. Michael: Okay, no, you encouraged it. You were complicit [looks to Jim for vocab-reassurance] Complicit. You were all successories! Darryl: That sounds fun, mucking around in the dump. Wish I could go. Michael: You can. Darryl: I can't. You know that. Michael: Okay fine, I get it. I'll just go by myself. Dwight: I'll go, Michael. You'll just screw it up. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [looks around dump] This place has gone to hell. Michael: You know, Dwight, there was a time when you'd be pinching yourself to have the opportunity to look through a dump with me. Dwight: Yeah, well, the acorn becomes the oak. Michael: Yeah. Sometimes the acorn just stays the acorn. If you don't believe me, look in my gutters. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: [to Oscar] You're adorable. You need to go for it. [Jim enters the break room] I'm going to be, like, mad at you if you don't - Jim: Phew! Can't wait for this day to be over. Kelly: Why? Jim: Just all the - drama. Kelly: What drama? Jim: Between the - us and you guys. It's unnecessary, right? Kelly: So unnecessary. Jim: Oh, good, phew, thank god you said that. Kelly: I mean, if the salesmen weren't acting like such a bunch of stuck-up losers, then this day wouldn't be so bad - did you ever think of that? Jim: I have new baby pictures. Kelly: Don't use your cute baby to make us like you. Jim: She's wearing a onesie [holds out his cell phone, Oscar leans in but Kelly grabs his arm] [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: If we act nice now, then we're rewarding them for treating us poorly. Jim: Didn't we kind of start it? Phyllis: I think you're remembering that wrong? Andy: Yeah. Phyllis: I don't know about this. I mean, I think we should hold our ground. The company's changed, and if they don't like it, they can leave. I mean, a lot of their work can be done from India. Jim: Can we at least all agree that this is uncomfortable, and may be heading for something bad? Andy: All those who agree, say aye [all present - Stanley, Andy and Phyllis - raise their hands] All those opposed - Jim: I don't think we need opposed. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [kicking through rubbish at the dump] You've changed, man. Dwight: Oh, why, because I have a shot at a $100k commission? Michael: Since when do you care about money? When I first met you, you were a wide-eyed innocent. Dwight: Hey. There is nothing I can do about my wide-set eyes. Michael: No, I'm talking about your personality, Dwight. Dwight: When I first met you, I had a lot of job offers. And I had an offer from Ivan Schartsky. The Ivan Schartsky. And if I'd assistant managed him - Michael: Assistant to the managed him - Dwight: Oh, that's low! I would be number two right now at Home Depot! Michael: Yeah. Dwight: Okay? Because they promote from within. Instead I had to follow you - you, going nowhere. Michael: You think you would have done better without me? Really? Dwight: I hitched my wagon to a horse with no legs. Michael: Wow. Ohhhkay. Man. When I think about all the time I wasted being your friend - I shouldn't have been hanging out watching karate movies with you - Dwight: Kung-fu movies! Michael: You know what, I should have been doing? I should have been out at bars, finding my soul-mate, finding my wife, making babies - Dwight: Nice babies you're making with the floozies at the bars. Michael: That's my wife you're talking about, man. Dwight: Your made-up wife? Who doesn't exist? [Michael picks up a piece of metal and hurls it at Dwight, who sidesteps] You watch it! Michael: If I wanted to hit you, I would have hit you. Dwight: Don't do it [lobs something at Michael] Michael: No no. You just made an enemy with the wrong guy, Dwight. [they throw volleys of rubbish at each other] No, time out, time out. [Michael inspects a box, then hurls it at Dwight] Time in! Dwight: No! [lunges for a large wooden spool] Michael: Don't even think about that [Dwight begins rolling it towards Michael, as he reaches him Dwight kicks it and falls backward. The spool comes to a halt in front of Michael, and Michael pushes it towards Dwight.] Dwight: [kicks spool] Stop it, get out! That's my spool. [SCENE_BREAK] Phyllis: What's the least we can do to make this okay? Jim: I'll text Pam. She's really good at this stuff. Andy: And I'll text Erin. She's really good at this stuff too. Phyllis: I guess we could give them some of our new commissions. Stanley: That is a dangerous precedent. Jim: Pam texted back saying we could give them all iPods. Phyllis: Oh, if they don't have an iPod by now they really don't want one. Jim: Alright. Then we're back to cash. And I got to say, if giving a small percentage of our commissions is going to smooth all this over, I'm for it. Phyllis: Okay, fine. Cash it is. Andy: Erin just texted me back. 'People love shells from far-away beaches". [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Okay, Dwight. Here we go [picks up a sink, spills dump juice on his pants] oh god. Dwight: Oh [half-heartedly throws something] Michael: We're never going to find those leads, are we? [they both sit on the edge of a claw-footed bathtub] Dwight: [surveys the mountains of trash surrounding them] Wow. Amazing, isn't it. No other animal on earth could do this. Maybe beavers. But not like this. [SCENE_BREAK] Phyllis: So how about, guys, one percent commission a month instead of two, what do you - Jim: No, we agreed, two percent for the quarter. Okay [others enter] Hey everybody! Meredith: [stares at the table filled with treats] Nice spread. We get it. You eat like royalty. Jim: No, no - this is a representation of how we feel. And how we feel is[/b]: really sorry. Andy: Yeah. We wanted to bring you in and make a peace offering. Phyllis: Yeah, we wanted to do the right thing. So... [Jim gestures for her to continue] Oscar: Way to go, guys. This was an integrity move. Kevin: Yeah. When we walked in here, we were all prepared to tell you to go to hell. Angela: Do you have any pastries without fruit? Jim: Yes! We do. [opens box] Eclairs. Stanley: [enters room] Well, you better be happy, taking two percent of our - Jim: - two percent milk! What I forgot for the coffee. Phyllis: Our treats, Stanley, they've accepted our simple offer of treats. Nothing more. Stanley: [beams] This is - nice! [pats Oscar's shoulder] All of us back together. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: This [picks up racquet] Why would somebody throw that out? Dwight: Hey [holds up an old sweater] You know who'd like this? Phyllis. Purple, much? Michael: Yeah, she does - she loves purple. [Dwight sniffs it] Does it stink? Dwight: Yeah [puts it back in the bath tub] Michael: Know what would be a great picture here? Just this whole dump, and in the middle, one flower. That's it. And the caption would read[/b]: Dwight: Hope - grows. Michael: In the dump. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [drives into office parking lot, honking horn. Enormous purple object strapped to the roof of their car] Woo hoo! Stanley: Good news that you found our leads? Michael: No! Better! Dwight: We have an awesome bean bag chair that's perfect for the break room. [reaches out the window and pats it] Phyllis: Yuck. I'm not going to sit on that disgusting seat. Dwight: Yeah, damn right you're not. 'Cause it's for me and Michael only [they both cheer and high-five] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [at dump] It's freezing out here. Erin: [strips off jacket] Go on. I have warm blood. [tries to drape her small jacket across Andy's back] Andy: Oh wow, thank you. You're the nicest person I've ever met. [Andy and Erin kiss]	Plan: A: the sales staff's heads; Q: Who does Sabre's policy of "sales is king" go to? A: their bad attitude; Q: What does the rest of the office resent about the sales staff? A: Michael; Q: Who hides the leads? A: their expensive new leads; Q: What does Michael hide to regain control? A: the business park; Q: Where does Jim go on a treasure hunt? A: Michael's plan; Q: What backfires when Kevin accidentally throws some of the leads in the trash? A: Dwight; Q: Who goes to the dump with Michael to retrieve the leads? A: Scranton dump; Q: Where do Andy and Erin kiss for the first time? Summary: Sabre's policy of "sales is king" goes to the sales staff's heads, making the rest of the office resent their bad attitude. In order to regain control, Michael hides their expensive new leads, which leads Jim on a "treasure hunt" all through the business park. Michael's plan backfires when Kevin accidentally throws some of the leads in the trash and Michael and Dwight must go to the Scranton dump to retrieve them. Andy and Erin kiss for the first time at Scranton dump while searching the leads together.
ATTACK OF THE CYBERMEN BY: "PAULA MOORE" (PAULA WOOLSEY) Part Two Running time: 44:29 [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Wait! Let's discuss this, shall we? PERI: I agree. LEADER: There is nothing to discuss. DOCTOR: If you want my cooperation, she must live. LEADER: We cannot agree to bargain, Doctor. It would be unfortunate if you were to be killed, but we should still have your TARDIS. DOCTOR: Not anymore, you don't. In precisely twenty seconds, you and it will cease to exist. LEADER: Release the woman. DOCTOR: How do I know you won't cheat and change your mind. LEADER: You have my word. DOCTOR: I'm not sure that's enough. LEADER: Also that of the Cyber Controller. DOCTOR: I thought he was destroyed. LEADER: No, merely damaged. DOCTOR: Where is he now? LEADER: On our home planet, Telos. DOCTOR: I see. PERI: Doctor! LEADER: Correct. We can now time travel. Set the coordinates for Telos. [SCENE_BREAK] BATES: Come on, hurry up. BATES: You're going to have to try harder than that, Stratton. STRATTON: This isn't going to work. BATES: So you keep saying. STRATTON: Do I look like a Cyberman? BATES: If nobody looks too close. STRATTON: This is fantasy. We won't convince anyone. BATES: Listen, you pathetic creature. All we need do is convince the guard we are prisoner and escort. At least, until we get close enough to deal with them. STRATTON: It won't work. BATES: You'd rather stay out here and die? STRATTON: No. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: This is bad news. Very bad news. How can they have discovered the laws of time? LYTTON: They haven't. A time vessel landed on Telos. The Cybermen were able to capture it. DOCTOR: So they only have one ship? LYTTON: They will have two with your TARDIS. DOCTOR: Doesn't make it any less depressing. How do you know what happened on Telos? LYTTON: What does it matter? Just be grateful you're alive. PERI: I assume you two know each other. DOCTOR: Unfortunately, yes. The last time we met, he was working for the Daleks. LYTTON: That wasn't out of choice. Your regeneration has made you vindictive, Doctor. DOCTOR: Not at all. I've never found it difficult to despise people like you. LYTTON: I'm not working for the Cybermen. I'm in the same predicament as you. Look around you. PERI: I think he means he's also a prisoner. DOCTOR: More likely a spy. PERI: Does it really matter? He won't learn very much, and we certainly aren't going anywhere except Telos, wherever that is. GRIFFITHS: Yes, where is it? Look, I'm finding all this a bit disturbing. Cybermen, now Daleks. Time travel in an organ. PERI: You'll get used to it. [SCENE_BREAK] CYBERMAN: Control, our instruments register an irregular transmission from the TARDIS. CONTROLLER: Inform the Cyber Leader on board. It will be the Doctor attempting to inform the Time Lords of his destination. CYBERMAN: The Time Lords will attempt to stop us. CONTROLLER: Whatever in their wisdom the Time Lords decide, they will be too late. Telos will have been destroyed and we shall have the Doctor's TARDIS. [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: Is this any use? I wouldn't try sticking it into the Cyber Controller. He might snap your hand off. PERI: What are you trying to do? DOCTOR: Upset the navigational control. If I can distort the coordinates by just a fraction of a degree PERI: We'd miss Telos. DOCTOR: Not quite. GRIFFITHS: What is Telos? Is no one going to tell me? LYTTON: I would have thought, Griffiths, even you would have managed to work that out by now. Telos is the Cybermen's home planet. DOCTOR: Uh huh. Adopted planet. You'd have liked Telos, Peri, in the old days when the Cryons were in residence. They were the indigenous population till the Cybermen wiped them out. LYTTON: They had nowhere else to go. DOCTOR: Oh, for heaven's sake, man. The universe is littered with unpopulated planets. LYTTON: But few with the facilities that Telos offered. DOCTOR: Well, that's hardly an excuse. PERI: What does he mean? DOCTOR: Refrigeration. PERI: That's a strange reason to commit genocide. DOCTOR: Not when you build refrigerated cities the way the Cryons did. They had a genius for it. Mind you, they had to. They couldn't live in temperatures above zero. GRIFFITHS: But why did the Cybermen need the cold? DOCTOR: Hibernation. They were running out of power. They needed to rest. And whatever you may say, Lytton, they could have built their own hibernation plant and refrigeration chambers anywhere. PERI: Well, why not on their own planet? I assume they had one. What's the matter? GRIFFITHS: What is the matter? LYTTON: Yes, Doctor. What's the matter? [SCENE_BREAK] CYBERMAN: Cyber Control reports that we are transmitting an irregular signal. LEADER: Prepare for our arrival on Telos and bring the Doctor to me. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Mondas, the Cyber planet, was destroyed. LYTTON: But tell them how it was destroyed. DOCTOR: You're enjoying this. LYTTON: It's not often I have the opportunity to watch a Time Lord squirm. DOCTOR: It blew up. LYTTON: Whilst it was attacking Earth. GRIFFITHS: What? LYTTON: Tell them when. DOCTOR: Take no notice of him. He's just trying to unnerve you. Your planet survived the attack. PERI: When did it happen? DOCTOR: 1986. GRIFFITHS: Next year? That's almost now. DOCTOR: You could put it that way. PERI: Well, you must do something. Inform Earth, tell them it's coming. I mean, what's happening to us now must have something to do with that. DOCTOR: How can I do anything? I'm a prisoner. LYTTON: Even if he were free, he couldn't. He would transgress the laws of time. PERI: You interfere continually. DOCTOR: Not to that extent. Even I have to be careful. LYTTON: The Time Lords would have him destroyed. DOCTOR: And that would please you. Look, don't worry. Earth survived with minimal damage. It's an historical fact. LYTTON: Yes, it's now become part of the web of time in the same way that the Cryons were destroyed. PERI: I'm not interested in the Cryons. LYTTON: Hmm. There's compassion for you. PERI: I didn't mean it like that. I'm confused. GRIFFITHS: So am I. I mean, how can a planet travel around off its orbit? DOCTOR: Mondas had a propulsion unit. A tribute to Cyber engineering. Though why they should want to push a planet through space, I've no idea. CYBERMAN: You will come with me. PERI: Why? DOCTOR: Go with him. This is no time to be difficult. CYBERMAN: And you will go to the console room. DOCTOR: Telos. [SCENE_BREAK] CYBERMAN: There is a rogue Cyberman on level four, Controller. CONTROLLER: We must cease reactivation. CYBERMAN: We are still finding undamaged specimens in hibernation. CONTROLLER: But not enough to justify the heavy casualties being sustained by our resuscitation team. Cease reactivation. CYBERMAN: Controller. CONTROLLER: And order the rogue destroyed. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: We had an agreement. LEADER: The woman is unharmed. Telos is cold. She must have warmer clothing. I have kept my word but you have deceived us. DOCTOR: What have I done? LEADER: You will disconnect the signal you are transmitting. LEADER: You are foolish, Doctor. Next time, we will kill you. [SCENE_BREAK] STRATTON: I can't breath. BATES: Leave it alone. We're too close to Cyber Control. STRATTON: I've got to rest for a minute. BATES: Cybermen aren't supposed to rest. [SCENE_BREAK] PERI: What happened? DOCTOR: A little disagreement with our tin friends. PERI: You look terrible. DOCTOR: Not half as bad as I feel. CYBERMAN: We are about to materialise. PERI: (quietly) What have you done? DOCTOR: (quietly) Nothing much. [SCENE_BREAK] GRIFFITHS: What happened to the organ? PERI: Do you really want to know? Oh, this place is so cold! DOCTOR: I'd forgotten how big they were. LYTTON: I can understand why they call them tombs. PERI: I'm pleased you two are so impressed. I find the whole place hateful. DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose the atmosphere is rather rancid. PERI: And it's freezing cold. LEADER: We have materialised in the wrong place. DOCTOR: Really? LYTTON: He almost sounded concerned. DOCTOR: Yes. I wonder why? [SCENE_BREAK] CONTROLLER: The TARDIS must be brought here. Despatch technicians to implement my orders. CYBERMAN: At once, Controller. [SCENE_BREAK] PERI: Oh, what is that terrible smell? LYTTON: Death. GRIFFITHS: Trust him to cheer everyone up. PERI: What do you mean, death? LYTTON: The sour, rank odour of death is unmistakable. PERI: They're not dead. The Cybermen are hibernating. DOCTOR: You know far more than you're saying. LYTTON: You'll find out, Doctor, all in good time. PERI: How can they smell? They can't be rotting, this place is freezing cold. LEADER: We must leave this place at once. DOCTOR: Why? LEADER: We have far to travel, and the Controller awaits your arrival. LYTTON: This way. DOCTOR: Run, Peri! PERI: What about you? LEADER: He must not be harmed. CYBERMAN: What about the others, Leader? LEADER: They are unimportant. PERI: No! No! No! [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: Come on, keep moving. GRIFFITHS: Just hang on a minute. I've been messed around enough today. Where are we going? LYTTON: You want to get home? GRIFFITHS: You can say that again. LYTTON: That's where you're going. GRIFFITHS: Oh, I see. You've got a taxi waiting. THREST (OOV.): He speaks the truth. GRIFFITHS: What's that? THREST: My name is Threst. Welcome, Lytton. GRIFFITHS: Does she know who you are? THREST: Of course. Lytton has come to help us. GRIFFITHS: You certainly know how to put yourself about. LYTTON: I was stranded on Earth. I sent out a distress call, the Cryons picked it up. THREST: And we told him the Cybermen had invaded our planet. LYTTON: And I tricked the Cybermen into bringing us here to Telos. THREST: For we need Lytton's help to defeat them. We also need you. GRIFFITHS: Me? THREST: It was why you were brought here. LYTTON: I haven't told him yet. GRIFFITHS: You never did intend to do that diamond job. LYTTON: Would you have come if I'd told you the truth? GRIFFITHS: You bet I wouldn't. LYTTON: That, Griffiths, is why I didn't tell you. GRIFFITHS: That, Mister Lytton, is why two men are dead. LYTTON: It wasn't of my making. GRIFFITHS: It certainly wasn't of theirs. THREST: We realise this must be confusing for you, but there is a way for you to get home. And of course, being a professional like Lytton, we realise your time is valuable. GRIFFITHS: Are you winding me up? LYTTON: Attempting to annoy. THREST: I hope not. We intend to pay you. GRIFFITHS: What can you pay me? LYTTON: The equivalent of two million pounds in uncut diamonds. THREST: We were surprised you wanted so little. LYTTON: Diamonds are common on Telos. GRIFFITHS: What am I supposed to do for these? LYTTON: Help me steal a time vessel. [SCENE_BREAK] FLAST: Welcome. DOCTOR: Hello. I'm the Doctor. FLAST: My name is Flast. [SCENE_BREAK] GRIFFITHS: Look, what am I supposed to do? I'm none too clever behind the wheel of a car, never mind a time vessel. LYTTON: Your function, as always, Griffiths, is muscle. THREST: And we have a crew. GRIFFITHS: So what do I do? LYTTON: Keep me alive. GRIFFITHS: A minder? LYTTON: A bodyguard. THREST: An honourable profession. GRIFFITHS: But why me? Why can't one of your lot do it? THREST: We can only exist in temperatures below zero degrees. If I were to venture onto the surface of the planet, I would boil. LYTTON: Come on, Griffiths. You're getting two million pounds for what would be little more than a day's work. GRIFFITHS: But will I live to spend it? LYTTON: If we capture the time vessel, yes. GRIFFITHS: If we don't? LYTTON: We'll be turned into emotionless Cybermen. [SCENE_BREAK] ROST: Peace, child. We mean you no harm. VARNE: We rescued you from the Cybermen, at no inconsiderable risk to ourselves. PERI: Oh, yes. I'm sorry, I'm confused. ROST: You must rest, then we will talk. PERI: Who are you? ROST: My name is Rost. This is Varne. PERI: I'm Peri. I'm from the planet Earth. ROST: We know, child. VARNE: We are Cryons. We no longer have a planet. [SCENE_BREAK] STRATTON: We won't get away with this. BATES: Shut up! [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: I thought the Cybermen had destroyed the Cryons. FLAST: So did they, but as you see, some of us survived. Not many, but some. You're looking very blue. DOCTOR: Do you mean depressed, or cold? FLAST: Ah. I think I shall enjoy your company. DOCTOR: Not for long, I hope. I won't last half an hour in here. It's freezing. FLAST: You are, in fact, the first company I've had in some time. I honestly thought I would die without ever seeing another humanoid face. DOCTOR: Enjoy me while you can. I hope not to be around for too long. FLAST: Ah, escape. They all talk about that for the first few minutes, then they become depressed. It's the locked door and the armed guard that's the unsolvable problem. DOCTOR: Really. Could also have something to do with the lack of support on the part of their cellmate. FLAST: I hate the Cybermen more than you could ever know, and if I could do anything to frustrate or obstruct their course, I certainly would. DOCTOR: It seems your people have done quite a lot already. I assume you are responsible for the stench of death everywhere? FLAST: I would be happier if the Cyber Controller and the others were all dead. DOCTOR: So would I, especially now that they can time travel. FLAST: Oh, but they can't. Not properly. DOCTOR: They have a ship. FLAST: Which they stole. They don't fully understand the principle of time. DOCTOR: That's reassuring. FLAST: I wouldn't get too excited. DOCTOR: I rarely do. FLAST: Because what they have in mind will undoubtedly distress you. DOCTOR: Well, tell me gently. FLAST: They intend to change history. DOCTOR: They can't! It's against all the laws of time! FLAST: Then perhaps you should tell them, because if you don't, they intend to prevent Mondas from being destroyed. [SCENE_BREAK] CYBERMAN: All charges on the surface of the planet are set and primed. CONTROLLER: Excellent. Instruct the technicians the TARDIS must be brought here as soon as possible. [SCENE_BREAK] GRIFFITHS: This place is enormous. We'll never find them out here. LYTTON: Yes, we will. GRIFFITHS: That thing. What does it do? LYTTON: It detects Cybermen, and there are two very close. BATES: That's right. Don't turn round. Throw the gun down. Now the bag. BATES: You're looking for us? LYTTON: If you're Bates and Stratton, yes. BATES: So you found us. LYTTON: I think we can help each other. BATES: Really? BATES: He's flesh and blood. GRIFFITHS: What's he talking about? BATES: This one too. GRIFFITHS: Are they Cybermen? LYTTON: Almost. BATES: This is what the Cybermen do to you. GRIFFITHS: How much of you? BATES: Arms and legs. Their conditioning process doesn't always work. GRIFFITHS: You're sort of rejects. BATES: That's one way of putting it. GRIFFITHS: Will they do that to us? LYTTON: If they find us. But we won't be here. Like you, we want to steal the time vessel. BATES: We don't need you. LYTTON: The time vessel needs a crew of three, at minimum. Now, there are two of us and there are two of you. I don't know how you intend to get onto the landing pad, but I have a safe route. Through Cyber Control. BATES: Where'd you get this from? LYTTON: The Cryons. [SCENE_BREAK] PERI: Look, I know you're busy ROST & VARNE: Come, child. ROST: You should be resting. PERI: There isn't time. I have a friend, the Doctor. He's a prisoner of the Cybermen. ROST & VARNE: We know. And we know what you're about to ask. ROST: Rescue is out of the question. We cannot go into Cyber Control. It is far too warm for us. We would boil and die. PERI: But the Doctor, he's a man of enormous resourcefulness. He could help. How did you know that was the Doctor? I arrived with three men. ROST: You never were very bright. VARNE: You should have killed her, then I wouldn't need to be. Anyway, she can't use the information. PERI: You know Lytton, don't you. BOTH: We do, child. PERI: The man's a criminal. VARNE: Which is an excellent qualification for what he has to do. PERI: He's working for you? I don't understand this. What can he do? VARNE: Prevent the Cybermen leaving Telos. PERI: But I thought you would have been glad to see them go. ROST: On their departure they will attempt to destroy our planet. PERI: But that's pointless. VARNE: Nothing the Cybermen do is pointless. They want to study the effect of the explosion on the planet's atmosphere. PERI: I see. ROST: Not fully, child. The Cybermen want to change history VARNE: It's the only way their race can survive. To do that, they must destroy Earth. PERI: What! ROST: You see, it was their encounter with Earth that brought about the destruction of their own planet, Mondas. For Mondas to survive, Earth must be destroyed. [SCENE_BREAK] CYBERMAN: Our scouts have located the entrance to Cyber Control Stratton and Bates have used. LEADER: Instruct the scouts to follow and destroy the SVPs at once. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Mondas? Oh, I think my blood's beginning to congeal. Are you sure about this? FLAST: Oh yes, I'm sure. DOCTOR: How do they intend to destroy Earth? FLAST: It would only be necessary to disrupt it. DOCTOR: It would still take rather a large bomb. FLAST: They have one. A natural one. In fact, it's heading towards Earth at this very moment. DOCTOR: Halley's comet? FLAST: That's right. They plan to divert it, cause it to crash into Earth. It'll make a very loud bang. DOCTOR: Indeed it will. It'll also bring about a massive change in established history. The Time Lords would never allow it. FLAST: Who knows? Perhaps their agents are already at work. DOCTOR: Well, if they are, they're taking their time about it. For a start, why? Wait a minute. No! No, not me! You haven't manoeuvred me into this mess just so I can get you out of it! It would have helped if I had known what was going on! FLAST: You are a Time Lord? DOCTOR: Yes. And at the moment, a rather angry one. FLAST: I want to see the Cybermen dealt with as much as the Time Lords do. DOCTOR: Oh? But surely, it must have occurred to you that if Mondas hadn't been destroyed, the Cybermen would never have come here. FLAST: Of course, but my people have accepted their fate. Your problem is to convince the Cybermen of theirs. I think I can help you. I managed to open one of these, but I couldn't do anything with it. DOCTOR: What is it? FLAST: Vastial. It's a mineral, very common in the colder areas of Telos. It's also very unstable. In fact, you have enough in your hand to blow it off. At this temperature, though, it's quite safe, quite useless, otherwise the Cybermen would hardly have locked us in here with it. DOCTOR: How warm does it have to get before it becomes unfriendly? FLAST: Ten degrees above zero. Fifteen, and it self-ignites. [SCENE_BREAK] GRIFFITHS: Over here? LYTTON: Up there. Gun? I'll keep you covered. LYTTON: Now move. LYTTON: Help! [SCENE_BREAK] BATES: There's nothing we can do to help him. Are you coming? [SCENE_BREAK] FLAST: Even if you can get the door open, the guard in the corridor is armed. DOCTOR: So you said. And so are we. FLAST: But we're in here and he's out there. DOCTOR: First things first. How much of this stuff do we need to destroy the guard? FLAST: Very little. DOCTOR: Now, you're sure this will explode on contact with warm air? FLAST: Of course, but how will you get it out of here? DOCTOR: Wait, watch and learn. DOCTOR: If I do get it open, what happens to you? You can't leave here. The warmth in the corridor will kill you. FLAST: Destroy the guard first, then we'll discuss it. DOCTOR: When they learn about this, they'll kill you. FLAST: They'll simply complete a job they started some time ago. That is what I've been waiting for, Time Lord. FLAST: There is enough explosive in here to annihilate Cyber Control. DOCTOR: Well, there's not much power left in this lance, and that stuff is very cold. It may not generate enough heat. FLAST: The Cybermen will not leave Telos. [SCENE_BREAK] ROST: You must wait here, child. There will be a guard on the TARDIS. PERI: It won't work. I can't operate the controls. If I try to move the TARDIS, anything could happen. VARNE: We said we'd help you. PERI: I don't think you realise how temperamental that machine is. I mean, even the Doctor has problems piloting it. VARNE: Varne. [SCENE_BREAK] THREST: Lytton has been taken prisoner. [SCENE_BREAK] ROST: The TARDIS must be moved. [SCENE_BREAK] CONTROLLER: You have wasted both our time and energy. I know that you plan to steal or destroy my time vessel. You will tell me how it is to be done. [SCENE_BREAK] ROST: There is a guard. There may be others inside. PERI: Well, don't look at me. I'm not going in after them. [SCENE_BREAK] CONTROLLER: You are foolish, Lytton. You could have saved yourself from pain. I told you you would tell us everything. Now you will become as we are. CYBERMAN: The time vessel is approaching Telos, Controller. CONTROLLER: Excellent. Order it to land and have the Doctor brought to me. CYBERMAN: Controller. (beep) The Cyberman guarding the Doctor does not respond. CONTROLLER: Show him to me. CONTROLLER: The Doctor has escaped. He must be found. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Hello. I'm the Doctor. VARNE: Unless you help us, you won't be for very much longer. PERI: Doctor, you escaped. You've got to help me. They want to destroy the TARDIS. DOCTOR: Well, that's not very friendly. ROST: It would be more accurate to say that we do not wish the Cybermen to control it. DOCTOR: Well, there at least we agree. How many Cybermen are inside the TARDIS? VARNE: We have no way of telling. DOCTOR: Then we must find out. DOCTOR: Do you mind? [SCENE_BREAK] PERI: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Cybermen have an inbuilt distress signal. PERI: But this thing's dead. DOCTOR: The signal is mechanical, not organic. There may be enough power left in this battery to transmit. PERI: And achieve what? DOCTOR: A reaction from those inside the TARDIS. The Cybermen have one weakness. They'll react to the distress of their own kind. When I was a prisoner in Cyber Control, I met a friend of yours. VARNE: Flast? But we thought she was dead. DOCTOR: If she isn't now, she soon will be. She's at the moment the living detonator of a bomb that could go off at any second and kill us all. [SCENE_BREAK] LEADER: Search the room. The Doctor may have interfered with the vastial. CYBERMAN: Leader. LEADER: How long has the Doctor been gone? FLAST: I don't know. I don't have an instrument for measuring time. LEADER: You will answer my questions. FLAST: I will not. LEADER: Very well, take her outside. [SCENE_BREAK] BATES: According to the map, the launching pad is on the other side of this door. STRATTON: We made it! GRIFFITHS: Let's get aboard the ship before we open the champagne. BATES: Give me that thing. Ready? [SCENE_BREAK] CYBERMAN: The intruders have been destroyed. CONTROLLER: Excellent. You will all accompany me. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Are you ready? ROST: Yes. DOCTOR: There are two of them. This way. DOCTOR: I'm sorry. ROST: Please remove your TARDIS from Telos before you have to be rescued again. DOCTOR: What about you, Rost? ROST: We shall survive. PERI: But Doctor, what about Lytton? DOCTOR: Hmm? PERI: He's been captured by the Cybermen. DOCTOR: That should make him happy. PERI: You don't understand. He's working for the Cryons. DOCTOR: For you? ROST: Yes, for us. PERI: Well, you can't just let him die. DOCTOR: Where's he likely to be now? ROST: In the laboratory. DOCTOR: I'll see what I can do. Good luck. ROST: And to you, Doctor. [SCENE_BREAK] CONTROLLER: Hurry. CYBERMAN: Controller, the technicians at the Doctor's TARDIS do not respond to our call. CONTROLLER: That is not possible. CYBERMAN: Instruments also indicate time disturbance. CONTROLLER: The TARDIS has been moved. [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: I know you. DOCTOR: That's right. And I'm just beginning to find out about you. LYTTON: Did you put the sonic lance to good use? DOCTOR: I did. Why didn't you say something? LYTTON: Now you must kill me. DOCTOR: I can help you. Hang on. LYTTON: The drug is affecting my brain. Irreversible damage. DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I'll tell you if its irreversible or not. Now just hang on. LYTTON: I did my best. I kept my word. DOCTOR: I know. LYTTON: Please, Doctor. Kill me. CONTROLLER: Move away from him, Doctor. CONTROLLER: Emotion is a weakness. DOCTOR: I don't think so. CONTROLLER: It brought you back for your friend and it will cost you your life. DOCTOR: I must help him. PERI: It's too late, Doctor. He's dead. DOCTOR: I can't just leave him. PERI: You must. There's nothing you can do. DOCTOR: Why didn't he say something? PERI: You never gave him a chance. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: It didn't go very well, did it? PERI: Earth's safe. So is history and the web of time. DOCTOR: I meant on a personal level. I don't think I've ever misjudged anybody quite as badly as I did Lytton.	Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who discovers that the Cybermen are involved with the strange distress signal? A: Peri; Q: Who helps the Doctor discover who Lytton is working for? A: time travel; Q: What do the Cybermen want? Summary: The Doctor discovers that the Cybermen are involved with the strange distress signal. Peri and the Doctor discover who Lytton is working for and do their best to keep the Cybermen from gaining time travel.
In the park Paige: I was fixated on your earlobes for most of the class. Matt: So my Nano computer lesson was dull! Paige: That my eyes were even open in media immersion is a testament to you. Stop worrying, okay? Matt: I'm being graded on how well I hold the class tomorrow. It's scary. You guys are scary. Paige: Marco's not scary. Marco's afraid of bees and Heather Sinclair, not scary. Unless maybe you see her in her granny panties after gym. There's also the tiny fact that you're a phenomenal teacher, so please fear not! Matt: You're sweet and not just 'cause you made lemon squares. (They're interrupted by the sounds of an ice cream truck and a crying baby.) Paige: The park. Great romance idea hun! Matt: Poor kid's being blinded by the glare of his dad's legs. Can you say whiter than white?! Paige: Yeah! Simpson. Oh my god. He didn't see us. No way. In the gymnasium Manny: I totally missed washing my hair to make it in time for this. Paige skips practice...again. Let's go for with the 3, 4, 3 star ready for a right herky jump. K let's go! Hazel: Just so you know, I am not cool with you taking over. Manny: Paige won't care. She's too wrapped up in Matt to even notice. Hazel: It's a crush. No big thing. Manny: You don't have to lie. Paige told me about her hot after school affair. Oops. I did it again. (She turns to the rest of the group) Alright guys. Let's get it together. In the media immersion lab Matt: Let's discuss how the cigarette add tries to manipulate us. Anyone? Emma. Let's hear it. Emma: Okay well I think it's aimed at a female demographic and I think the tobacco companies are trying to tell us that healthy women can smoke 'cause she's hiking or whatever. Matt: Good. Now in terms of subtler messaging. Like where is she, where is she going. Emma: I'm less sure. Chris: Probably to the ravine! Matt: That's enough Mr. Sharpe. What isn't the add showing us Emma? Emma: Anything negative. Um lung cancer, emphysema, stroke. Chris: Gonorrhea. Matt: Okay, see me after class. We'll have a lesson on respect. Mr. Simpson: Thank you Mr. Oleander. Matt: Okay moving on. What's the demographic of smokers within the age- Later, in the media immersion lab Matt: Nanotech is finally winning the respect it deserves as a science. Hazel: Paige! Paige! Paige: Shh! Mr. Oleander is teaching. Hazel: Is Manny your new best friend? Paige: Okay can we deal with whatever your problem is later? Green-eyed Hazel monster. Matt: Hazel can I have your attention please? Hazel: She spilled, about you and Mr. O! Paige: You do know that you can be secrecy challenged sometimes right? Hazel: How could you not tell me?! Matt: Hazel, hi. Didn't you hear me? Hazel: Gee Mr. Oleander, I thought you only had eyes for Paige. Mr. Simpson: Is everything okay? Matt: Uh yeah I just um, just lost my, I lost my place. Mr. Simpson: Um, Hollywood is seize on nanotech lately. Um can anyone name a movie about self-replicating machines? Anyone? In front of Degrassi Darcy: Sheila told me if you put lots of ketchup on your fries the tomato acid burns the carbs right away. Chante: She's a cafeteria lady. Ever think she's trying to get you to buy more fries? Manny: Em. What's wrong with your eyes? Emma: I'm trying to kill Chris with my mind. Manny: Oh goody. Then you can get Spinner, Jay, Craig, JT, Nate and Sean. Chante: Here's me wishing I let my dad talk me into an all-girl school. Darcy: No joke. Are you alright? Manny: Honey you can't let him upset you like that. He's just one doof!. Emma: No it's all the guys. Judging constantly. Chester: Mmm deep fried starch. (He steals a fry) Darcy: Is he not the yummiest thing you ever saw? Manny: Em what are you doing this weekend? Emma: Nothing. Manny: How about the girls and I come over and we'll have the girliest spa weekend ever. Zero testosterone! Hello? Is anyone free to console a sister this weekend? Chante: Absolutely. We're there for you. (Her and Darcy both sigh and look at Chester) Outside the school Paige: I am so, so, so sorry. Matt: Teenagers are evil. I can't go back in there and teach two more periods. Paige: What Hazel did, it was juvenile and hateful and humiliating. I promise you nothing like it will ever happen again ever. Matt: I don't want to get booted out of teacher's college. I can't! Paige: You won't. I won't let you. (A teacher walks outside and sees the two of them together) Sorry Madame Paget. Uh excuse moi. In the hallway Manny: Happy weekend Paige. Why thanks Manny and thanks for taking my practice this morning! Paige: You want me to thank you? For what, dropping a dirty bomb on my life? Manny: Practice went awesome without you and if you ask some of us, that wasn't a coincidence. Paige: You told Hazel, when you swore that you wouldn't! Manny: I thought she knew, okay? Chill. Paige: Don't use your outdated slang on me. I doubt that your mouth is even connected to your tiny, shriveled, boy obsessed brain. Manny: I'm the dumb one?! Who still hasn't figured out not to chase older guys? A guy so out of her league, it's not funny! Paige: That's big words for a girl who picks up my leftovers. Manny: Could you be more self obsessed? All you think about is your own butt, which probably does require a lot of thought, given that it's huge! (Manny kicks Paige in the butt, Paige slaps her and the two start fighting until Matt and Ms. Hatzilakos break it up.) Matt: Manny calm down! Manny: Hey Mr. Pedophile! I mean Oleander. Don't make your girlfriend Paige even more jealous of me! Ms. Hatzilakos: Manny, my office Monday! Paige, Mr. Oleander, now! Alright everyone schools out. Go home, show's over. Now! I said now. Outside Ms. Hatzilakos' office Paige: Whole world is gonna hate me if I get him fired. Marco: You're in love. What were you supposed to do? Paige: Abstain from contact with male humans, seeing as how I'm Paige, the Bermuda triangle of love. Hazel: Hi. I'm Hazel. Just who you want to see. Paige: Wow she's not just an evil backstabber, she's kind of witty too. Hazel: Paige, I am so sorry. You were right. I am secrecy challenged. Paige: At least you didn't call him a pedophile. Ms. Hatzilakos: Paige. In her office Ms. Hatzilakos: Well this was a rather upsetting day. Paige: Manny Santos is a liar okay? She lies. Ms. Hatzilakos: Nothing ever happened between you and Mr. Oleander? Paige: That would be wrong. He was tutoring me and that's all. Ms. Hatzilakos: Mr. Simpson has already left for the day, as has Mr. Oleander's advisor and frankly I'm less than comfortable discussing this without one of your parents being here. Paige: Is that totally needed? Ms. Hatzilakos: We're all gonna meet Monday at 8, but I think I should warn you there's a pretty big discrepancy in your reports. Paige: Reports? Ms. Hatzilakos: Takes on the situation. Mr. Oleander has a very different one. He told me that you were obsessed with him, that you followed him, you wouldn't leave him alone. You stalked him. At Emma's house, the girls are wearing face masks and painting nails Spike: Put this right on the scratches. More mocktails coming right up. Chante: So Paige basically fights you because of a guy? Manny: Paige basically fights me because she's a psycho wench. Emma: She fought you because guys are always turning women against each other. Darcy: Well that's true. Emma: I'd rather be the way we are now. No guys, no judging, no upset! Chante: I like that we don't have to worry about being pretty. Just us. Emma: Let's declare the revolution begun. To heck with guys. Chester: Sup girls. Darcy & Chante: Chester's your neighbor? Emma: He just moved in. So?! Chester: You're looking a little green. (The three girls get up and run inside the house.) Emma: Where are you going? Manny: I am disfigured! Chester: Having a slumber party Emmaline? At Matt's apartment, Paige knocks on the door Matt: Hi. Paige: Hi. You're just gonna say hi?! Matt: Look I tried calling. You weren't picking up your phone. I'm glad you came over. Paige: Gee why didn't I put microphone in my bra? That's such a novice psycho stalker mistake. Matt: I know you're upset. Me too. Paige: No I'm not. I'm livid, boiling, pissed beyond all recognition. Matt: Can we talk about this? Paige: You have three minutes. Matt: Paige you know what this job means to me. You know what school means to me. Paige: I'm waiting for the us part. Matt: Us? I, I figured we'd leave time to let it blow over and when it's summer we're home free. Paige: And in the meantime I get what, expelled? Referred to as that sad, desperate loony who stalks TA's? Matt: I didn't know what else to say! Paige: Please you wanted to look like the good guy. Don't kid yourself! Matt: Okay Paige you had a public fight with Manny Santos after promising me nothing else would be said! Paige: She was really mean. Why am I doing this?! Matt: My entire future is on the line... [SCENE_BREAK] At Emma's house Manny: Em's taking dibs on all the good t-shirts. She must be stopped. Emma: They don't seem too concerned with their tie-dye prospects at the moment. Chante: Chester's going to come out soon. These are 15 minutes shoes. Max. Emma: This is supposed to be about us. Boy-less fun remember? A movement?! (They see Chester and his brother's playing football outside.) Darcy: Oh my god. There's three of him! Chante: Multiple adorable Chesters? Manny: Em, I'm sorry, but it's the call of the wild. Hey Chester and copies, hit me! (Chester's brother throws the football and it splashes tie-dye water all over Emma.) Chester: Oh! Nice one! Emma: Why did you do that?! (The same brother comes over, picks up the bucket and splashes them all with the water.) Darcy: Chester! This isn't funny. Chester: You girls have no sense of humor. That was hilarious! Emma: He is so gonna regret that! At the movie theatres Alex: You know fake cheese is one ingredient away from being plastic. Paige: Oh just like Manny Santos. Alex: Mr. O's the one you should be mad at. That wasn't exactly a prince charming move. Paige: Yeah except what if I kind of miss him already? Is that bad? Shoot me. Drown me in fake cheese. Alex: It's not that bad and hey now you know he's human, not some yoga-bodied teacher god. Meery: Is this a coffee klatch or a work place? Because it sure ain't a self serve. Those things are customers! Paige: Welcome to my nightmare, combo? Dylan: Where is he? Marco: Dylan's feeling all macho about the whole Matt thing. Sorry. Dylan: No one takes advantage of you like that okay?! You're my sister. Paige: I'm working okay, Hulk? Shh! Dylan: The guy's a predator. Paige: He's like the same age as you. Are you praying on Marco? Matt's not perfect, he's just- Dylan: Just disgusting. Paige: Just wonderful and sweet and fun and he put everything on the line for me. I'm such a jerk. Outside Chester's house, the girls are sticking tampons and pads on the tree Manny: He is going to be so grossed out! Emma: K hold the ladder steady. Manny: There's no time! Emma: Please. Manny! We are women. Hear us roar Chester. Manny: Emma please be careful! (The cops show up when Emma is at the top of the ladder, the girls run away and Chester opens the window.) Chester: Hey Emmaline. At Matt's apartment Paige: Monday. Um. I'll go along with it. With your story. I lost my temper with Manny. Michalchuk's, we have temper. Matt: Paige... Paige: You can't lose your entire life, not just for kissing some selfish high school chick. It can't happen. Matt: I uh, I don't know what to say. Paige: Please don't say anything. Just try and look cute on Monday so it all feels like it was worth it. Matt: Paige. (He goes in to kiss her) Paige: There's no strings attached. Don't worry. There's no strings with us. (She leaves) In Ms. Hatzilakos' office Paige: I don't need my parents to protect me. I'm only telling the truth. I was inappropriate with Mr. Oleander and I'd like to transfer out of his class, immediately. Mr. Simpson: It's the only media immersion class offered in grade 11. You will fail the course. Paige: So I'll repeat it next year. Mr. Simpson: Every grade 12 credit is taken, Paige, for university applications. Paige: Well, then maybe I should just transfer schools entirely, now. Ms. Hatzilakos: It's May! Transferring so late, chances are you can't complete the academic year. You will fail entirely. Mr. Simpson: Have you really thought this through? You should be getting set for university, not acting like you're in kindergarten. Ms. Hatzilakos: Mr. Simpson! Mr. Simpson: I'm sorry, but I'm not buying what she's selling. Anything I saw didn't look too one sided. Ms. Hatzilakos: You saw something? Paige: Leave it sir. Please leave it. Mr. Simpson: No I can't. I trusted you with my kids. My kids trusted you, including her. Paige: Please stop it. Can we just stop? Matt's advisor: Students often have feelings for their teachers. You just took your feelings too far. We can help. Mr. Simpson: Okay I'm not going to sit here and watch this. Paige: I don't care if I fail! Can we just finish this now please?! Mr. Simpson: Daphne, who's side are we on huh?! The students or the teachers?! Ms. Hatzilakos: I need to know what you saw Archie. How can I make a decision if I don't know what you saw! Matt: We had... Ms. Hatzilakos: There's a lot at stake here. Matt: We had a relationship. Paige: What are you doing? Matt: We were seeing each other outside of school. It shouldn't have happened. I take full responsibility. Outside Chester's house, Emma is walking by Chester: Ho, ho, ho. Emma: You can't label people. Chester: Woah! I thought it was Christmas. How was jail? Emma: I only got a warning. Chester: Sadly, I got another warning, about Chuck and Chad. Emma: About who? Chester: My brothers. They're plotting their revenge. Emma: So your names are Chester, Chuck and Chad? Chester: Consider me your mole behind enemy lines, two doors down. I'll keep you posted. Emma: Okay thanks. I appreciate it. In the park Paige: I can't believe you did that. Matt: That makes two of us. Paige: You doing okay? Matt: Well I can stay in the BA program, but um, teacher's college is done. Paige: Well maybe I could call your school. Tell them it was my fault or something. Matt: I think we've learned that really doesn't work. Paige: I want you to know, you would have been worth losing my year over. Matt: Except I wouldn't have been worth very much if I let you do that. And I wouldn't have let you do that. You know that right? Not because of guilt or me being a gentleman. Paige: Matt I know. Guess the good news is, doesn't matter who sees us in the park. Matt: Yeah. That is the good news! Scenes for next week Voiceover: Love, anger, excitement and a special guest. Craig: (playing his guitar and singing) Silent Bob! Voiceover: Director extraordinaire Kevin Smith joins the cast for the show everyone's talking about. Will the school be ready for a close-up? Catch back to back episodes airing at a special time.	Plan: A: their secret relationship; Q: What is revealed to everyone? A: Paige; Q: Who begins to wonder if Mr. Oleander cares more about his career than his love for her? A: his career; Q: What does Paige wonder if Mr. Oleander cares about more than he cares about her? A: Emma; Q: Who gets into a prank war with Chester's brothers? A: a girls' night; Q: What does Emma have with Manny, Darcy, and Chantay? Summary: When their secret relationship is revealed to everyone, Paige begins to wonder if Mr. Oleander cares about his career more than he cares about her. Meanwhile, Emma has a girls' night with Manny, Darcy, and Chantay and gets into a prank war with Chester and his brothers.
(Music: The Ditty Bops-Wake Up) (Meredith sitting on the floor in her shower) Meredith Voiceover (MVO): Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday, or if you get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult? Totally overrated. (Cut to Meredith walking to the Nursing Home) MVO: I mean, seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sx and the no parents anywhere telling you to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Caretaker: The lawyer has been managing the estate with a limited power of attorney, but your mother's Alzheimer's is advancing. So, while she's still lucid enough to consent, she needs to sign everything over to you. Meredith: Me? MVO: Responsibility, it really does suck. Meredith: (raspy) Look, I haven't slept in 48 hours. I'm getting my first shot at heart surgery this morning. I'm missing rounds. Are you sure there isn't anybody here, or the attorney...? I mean, do I really have to be the one to handle this? Caretaker: We're talking about her estate, her finances, her medical care. You really want to leave her life in someone else's hands? She's your mother. MVO: Really, really sucks. (Cut to O.R. where the heart surgery is taking place) MVO: Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands... Hello! Talk about responsibility. (We see Meredith closing her eyes and dozing off for a second. Her hand squeezes the heart she's holding) Burke: What was that Dr. Grey? Meredith: Sorry, it slipped. My hands. Burke: It's okay, I'm done. You can release Mrs. Patterson's heart now. Very gently. All right. Let's warm her up. Get her off bypass. MVO: Kinda makes bikes and cookies look really really good, doesn't it? (Cut to Observation Deck) George: I wish I could hold a heart Cristina: A monkey could hold a heart. George: You're mad Burke didn't ask you. Izzie: George, I need more ice and chips. George: Who else did you invite? Cristina: Izzie, we said the list was jocks only. Surgery, Trauma, Plastics. Who else? Izzie: Just some people from Peds. Cristina: You invited the preschoolers to Meredith's house. The next thing you'll say is you invited the shrinks. (Izzie looks away) Cristina: She invited mental defects. This party's D.O.A. George: You know, Meredith thinks this is just going to be a little, small, meet-your-boyfriend cocktail thing. Did you clear this with her? Izzie: No, but I will. (George and Cristina give her a look) I promise. Cristina: Why are you wasting the only weekend your boyfriend is in town on a big party? Is he bad in bed? Izzie: (chuckles) No. I just want him to meet some of my friends. Cristina: Right. Sixty geeks in scrubs are your friends. (Her beeper goes off. She gets up to leave) Bad sx, sucks for you. Alex: I heard there was a party tonight at Meredith's house. Cristina: Oh really, party? Izzie: Uh, news to me. George: No party. Alex: Are we losing her or what? (Cut back to O.R.) Doctor:: The grafts? Burke: They're open. Temperature? Doctor 2: She's at 96 and rising. Burke: She should be doing this on her own (He strokes the heart. Flat line) C'mon, Mrs. Patterson. Paddles. Doctor 2: Sets are below 90. Doctor 3: Charge Burke: 10 joules. (Puts paddles to heart) Clear. (Shocks) C'mon Mrs. Patterson. Give me 20. Doctor 3: Charge. Burke: There, we have rhythm. Reluctant heart. All right. Let's close. Keep an eye on her. Good work, everyone. MVO: The scariest part about responsibility: when you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers. (Close up of Meredith's glove. Her fingernail seems to have cut through it.) (Cut to hallway where we see Derek walking and eating at the same time. He runs into George and Meredith) Derek: Hey, I hear you did a CABG with Burke. Meredith: yeah. Derek: Did you get to hold the heart? Meredith: yeah. Derek: It's an amazing feeling. You never forget your first time. George: It was pretty great just to watch. Vicarious thrills, you know? Meredith: yeah. (Elevator bell rings. George and Meredith get in. She looks out of it. Derek stands outside the elevator, looking concerned) Derek: See you later. Meredith: Bye. (Elevator doors close. George and Meredith are alone. George is reading something, leaning on the wall. Meredith stands with her arms crossed, facing the door.) Meredith: I think maybe I did something to the heart when I was holding it. I nodded off a little. Squeezed it. George: Oh, please. The heart's a tough muscle. It could take a squeeze or two. Meredith: My fingernail popped the glove. Cut straight through. George, what if I punctured Mrs. Patterson's heart? (George stops reading and stands next to Meredith) George: If... If you had punctured it, you would have know when they reperfused. They got her heart beating. The woman's okay. Meredith: So I shouldn't tell Burke? George: Tell him what? You know, um, nothing happened. The woman's okay, right? Meredith: (hesitates) She's okay. George: She's fine. Meredith: She's fine. (Cut to Hospital Room) Bailey: What do you see, George? George: Hyper-inflated lungs, clouded with bullae, seriously diminished capacity. She must be having trouble breathing. Bailey: Course of action? George: A bullectomy procedure, remove the bullae, reduce the pressure. Webber: Says here we operated on her back in '99, so Mrs. Drake as been through this before, but talk her through it anyway. And resist the anti-smoking lecture, she feels bad enough already. (Webber leaves. George walks over to Bailey, who is looking at x-rays) George: So you think if they put pictures of these on a pack of cigarettes people would stop smoking? (Bailey gives him a look and shakes her head slightly. George looks awkwardly away) (Cut to hospital room) Alex: How long has your back been hurting you? Patient: It's chronic. That means I have it all the time. Alex: I know what chronic means. What kind of pain are you having? Patient: Oh, man. The pain's bad. It's like a thousand samurai warriors stabbing swords into my spine. I'm allergic to aspirin... Alex: So maybe we'll start you on morphine. Patient: Mmmm...The only things that will work are Demerol or, uh, Dilaudid a ton of Dilaudid. That will set me straight. (Close up of the Patient's arm, lots of scars from needles) Alex: The standard starting dose is two. Patient: Did you see that Tom Cruise Samurai movie? Hmm? Pow, pow, pow! (Cut to Alex and Derek outside room) Alex: Exaggerated and overly specific description of his pain, self prescription, pow pow pow? He's a Dilaudid junkie. Derek: So what do you do? Alex: Well, you check the database for history, refer to a program, discharge. Derek: After you give him something. Alex: That's exactly what he wants. Derek: Junkie or not, you still have to treat his pain as if it were real. (His pager goes off) Alex: Why? Derek: First rule in pain management: always err on the side of caution. He's in our care. He says he's in pain. Start a central line, his veins are shot. � (Alex looks on incredulously and walks off) (Cut to lung patient's room) Mrs. Drake: The surgery before was supposed to help, but it...it never felt right. (She takes off her glasses) George: Probably would have been a good idea to quit smoking. Mrs. Drake: I did! Four pack a day habit. Oh, it was hell. Nurse: Here you go, Mrs. Drake. (Gives her a blanket) Mrs. Drake: It didn't do any damn good. George: Really? Because it looked, I mean, from the damage, we all thought you probably were still smoking. Mrs. Drake: Cold turkey. Five years ago. What do I get for my trouble? I still had to quit my job at the restaurant. But even sitting, it hurt. Nurse: Here you go. (Adjusts her pillow) Mrs. Drake: Nobody believed me. They all said it was in my head. George: I've seen the films. It's not all in your head. Mrs. Drake: You're right about that. Hey, come here. (George moves closer) You're too damn young to be a doctor. George: Hey Mrs. Drake: What George: I'm older than I look. (They start wheeling her away) Mrs. Drake: (smiles) Do you think this is going to work this time? George: I think it's your best option. Mrs. Drake: Straight-shooter, huh? George: Yes, ma'am. Mrs. Drake: I like that. (Cut to room where Mrs. Patterson is. Her husband is with her. Grey watches them for a while, then approaches) Meredith: Hi, Mr. Patterson. Mr. Patterson: Hi. Meredith: Hemodynamics stable? Nurse: Yeah, map has stayed around 80, cardiac output at 5. Mr. Patterson: That's good, Dr. Grey? Meredith: That's fine, Mr. Patterson. Mr. Patterson: But it's not good. Meredith: Well, heart surgery takes a lot out of the patient, but we're monitoring your wife very carefully and she should be fine. (Cut to hospital room.) Izzie: Mr. Sterman, let's see about getting you out of here today. How are you feeling? Mr. Sterman: Pretty okay, except I don't think I ever wanna have a bowel obstruction again. Izzie: Really? Wow, because we get people in here all the time requesting them. So are you keeping down clear fluids? And my all time favorite question to ask a patient: have you pooped yet? Mr. Sterman: Um, I'm not exactly sure. (She continues examining) Izzie: I think you'd probably know. Passed gas? Mr. Sterman: (hesitates) Yes. Izzie: Really yes? Cause if I bring in my handy lie detector... Mr. Sterman: Okay, no. And I shouldn't try and lie. I know. I went to medical school. Izzie: You went to med school? Mr. Sterman: Yeah, dropped out my last year at clinical. Too many hours and I was staring into the ice-cold eyes of divorce. Izzie: Wow. Mr. Sterman: Yeah, I do research now. And I have a life, a family. No offense. I mean... Izzie: No, no. It's okay. I'm just one of those people who believe you can have both. Mr. Sterman: Maybe so, but your first responsibility is always going to be your patient. (Izzie walks out of the room. Burke walks by her. He's carrying two cups of coffee. Cristina is standing at a counter nearby. He puts one cup down next to her. She looks at the coffee then at him. He sips his cup. He looks back at her) Burke: Just coffee. (Smiles) (Cristina looks confused) Cristina: Good. Burke: Okay. Cristina: Okay. (Burke nods and walks away. Cristina closes her file, hesitates and picks up the coffee and drinks it. Burke peeks around the corner and watches her walk away.) (Cut to Locker Room) (Meredith is splashing her face with water at a sink. She looks at herself in the mirror.) (Cut to O.R. for Mrs. Drake) Bailey: We call this a spaghetti procedure. We cut and deflate the bullae to facilitate gentle manipulation of Mrs. Drake's lung. Webber: Dr. Bailey, do you see that? Bailey: Sir? Oh my ever-lovin... Webber: We need to open her up. I'm taking out the scope. Bailey: You heard him, people. Let's move. Webber: Lights. Let's get set up. 10 blade. Get the scalpel ready. Towel. Bailey: Rib spreader. Webber: Suction. (They start pulling something black out of Mrs. Drake) George: Is that a towel? Bailey: Get a pan. George: Where did that come from? Webber: Best guess, her surgery five years ago. Bailey: Something careless this way comes. (Cut to George, Cristina, Bailey and Webber walking in a hallway.) Cristina: A towel? Webber: Not good. George: She complained about pressure on her chest. Said nobody took her seriously. Webber: Not good for the patient, not good for the hospital. Not good. Bailey: Cristina, hit the files. Find out everything you can about that initial operation. Who was in that room, who was responsible for closing. George, you stay with the patient. Keep her happy, she seems to like you. George: Right, okay, um, how long do you think I mean just technically, I'm off at 6:00. Bailey: Am I invited? George: Excuse me? Bailey: Am I invited to the party? George: (surprised) Oh! You, well, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Of course. (Bailey walks away. Cristina gives George a look) George: What was I supposed to say? Cristina: Ugh! (Cut to Izzie talking on the phone) Izzie: Yeah, great. All right. 14 cases. Uh, what kind, I dunno, maybe an assortment? (Alex walks up to her) Alex: Microbrews, locals. Make sure they throw in some bar nuts. Izzie: I'm ordering office supplies. Alex: Oh yeah, sure. (He walks away) Izzie: Microbrews, locals, throw in some bar nuts. 7 o�clock would be better than 5:00. (Mr. Sterman walks by) Izzie: Uh, hey, any luck? Mr. Sterman: No, hey, if I do, will you invite me to the party? Izzie: (laughs) Okay great, thanks. (Cut to Back Pain Guy's room. He is squirming in pain. Derek walks by and sees.) Derek: Hey, Mr. Frost. We're going to take care you of. Just hang on. Mr. Frost: Were the hell have you been?! (Cut to Research room) Derek: When I tell you to start a central line, you start a central line. No judgment, no question. Alex: The guy's been in seven hospitals in the last 4 months. He's a major addict. Derek: The patient has a three lumbar fusion. Alex: He's a junkie. I mean we shouldn't be giving him Derek: Yeah! He's an addict. But his pain is real. Now, lose the attitude, get down there, start a central line. (Alex gets up and leaves the room) (Cut to Mrs. Drake's room) Mrs. Drake: (with difficulty) Told me I had a towel inside me. George: Who told you that? Mrs. Drake: A surgeon, uh, older man, handsome. George: That's Dr. Webber, he's our chief. Mrs. Drake: Yeah. It was a towel that somebody left last time. George: Yes, ma'am. Mrs. Drake: Who would do that? (Voice breaking) That doesn't seem right, does it? George: No, ma'am, no. It doesn't. Mrs. Drake: I was walking around with a towel inside of me. How could that happen? (Cut to a room with a lot of filing cabinets) (Cristina is looking through files. She finds the right one. It says that Burke was the Surgical Fellow in the O.R. for Mrs. Drake's operation in 1999. She looks up, concerned.) (Cut to Cristina showing Bailey the file) Cristina: So? What happens now? Bailey: Now, you keep this to yourself while we work it out. (She takes the file and begins to walk away) Do this for me. (Cristina nods) (Cut to Meredith at a counter with a file) (Derek walks up to her) Derek: Are you okay? Meredith: Yeah, yeah, I�m good. Derek: Are you sure, cause you seem not okay. Meredith: I'm fine. CABG was long. Derek: Well, let me take you out to dinner tonight. You can tell me all about it. Real food, waiters, big chunks of carbs in a basket. Meredith: I can't. Derek: Forget about the party. Meredith: You know about the party? Derek: Your friends will be at the party. You and I can be alone somewhere else. Meredith: How do you know about the party? Derek: Thanks for not inviting me, by the way. That felt good. Dinner, think about dinner, perfect opportunity. Meredith: Well (Beeper) (Derek walks away. Meredith runs in the opposite direction.) (Cut to Mrs. Patterson) Nurse: Started having some swelling over the sternum and then the blood just started gushing. Dr. Burke is on his way right now. Mr. Patterson: Is she dying? Meredith: Somebody get him out of here. Keep applying pressure. Burke: Tyler, call for an O.R. What the hell happened? She got a protamine Meredith: Her protocol. No allergic anaphylactic or histamine responses. Burke: Her last counts? Meredith: BT, PTT, INR platelet counts were all stable. Even her HNH were stable. Burke: What the hell went wrong? Let's move. Nurse: Hold on. Meredith: I popped a glove. Burke: What? Meredith: In surgery, when I was holding it. I popped a glove with my fingernail. I think I may have nicked her heart. Burke: Let's go, people. (Mr. Patterson looks on as they wheel his wife away) (Cut to O.R.) Burke: What were you thinking about? You had every opportunity to speak up before I closed her chest. Every opportunity. Suction. MEREDITH: I'm sorry. Burke: And then going to confess in front of her husband? You don't even know if you were the cause. You have no idea. Meredith: I'm sorry. Burke: There. Over here. (Motions for Meredith to go look) There, look at the wall rupture. That's a hell of a lot more than a fingernail. Her ventricular wall was weak. (Webber walks in) Webber: I just had a conversation with Mr. Patterson. I want copies of his wife's chart in my office by 5:00. Tomorrow morning, the two of you are going to meet with me and legal and you better damn well be able to explain what happened here. (Starts to leave) (Mutters to himself) People poking holes in hearts, leaving towels in people. Burke: You're going to go back and talk to the husband. Review the history. Apologize, profusely. Your ass is on the line here, Dr. Grey. (Cut to Cristina, George and Meredith sitting in hallway) George: You got called before the chief? Meredith: Tomorrow morning. I could get kicked out of the program. I could, right? George: You're not getting kicked out. Cristina: Patterson's just going to sue. George: Patterson is not going to sue and you're not getting kicked out. Cristina: What the hell are you thinking? Telling Burke. So stupid. George: I told her not to. (Meredith's phone rings) Meredith: I gotta take this. Thanks. Thank you. Very comforting. George: I'll watch your books. (Meredith walks away. Izzie arrives with coffee, a banana, water, pudding and other things in hand. Cristina takes the coffee and banana. George takes the pudding and water bottle.) Izzie: Ok, So the beer's coming at 7:00 and some of the floor nurses are bringing wine. Cristina: You invited nurses? Ugh. George: Did you clear this with Meredith? Izzie: A few more people isn't going to make a difference. Okay? A party's a party. Cristina: And the bigger the party, the less time for bad sx with the hockey player. Izzie: Would you stop saying that? Cristina: Ok Izzie: Hank and I have great sx. Cristina: Mm-hmm Izzie: All the time. Cristina: Mm-hmm. Izzie: In fact, we'll probably have sx after the party, or during the party. George: As long as you clear it with Meredith. Izzie: Hank just needs to realize that doctors can have fun. We're not all workaholics with God complexes. Cristina: We ARE workaholics with God complexes. (Izzie gives her a look. George shows her an inflated glove puppet with a drawn on face.) (Cut to Meredith on the phone next to a window) Meredith: And the notary can be there at 6:30 too? And the home's physician will be there attest to her mental competency. Okay, is there anything else I need to bring besides my license? My checkbook. 6:30, I'll be there. (She hangs up. Derek walks up to her, leans on the railing.) Derek: I heard. Meredith: It's a notary thing. A thing to get notarized. Derek: I'm talking about the heart thing. Do you want to talk about it? Meredith: We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? (She walks away) (Cut to Cristina putting a chart away. Burke is there too. She looks at him awkwardly) Burke: Dr. Yang. Cristina: Dr. Burke. (Pause) That bypass graft got a little complicated. Burke: It's nothing I couldn't handle. Cristina: Good. (She walks away) (Cut to Mr. Patterson outside of the hospital talking on the phone) Mr. Patterson: Uh huh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Listen, I'll call you back. (Meredith walks up) Mr. Patterson: That was my lawyer. He was advising me not to talk to you. Meredith: Mr. Patterson, I know that you're frustrated and angry, but I need, we need, some more information about your wife. The walls of her heart are abnormally thin Mr. Patterson: Hey, don't blame this on my wife. I heard from your very mouth what happened. I know. Meredith: But we can't treat her. Mr. Patterson: She was in the best shape of her life. You ask her cardiologist. She had lost 100 pounds. Don't you dare try to hang this on her Meredith: Mr. Patterson, please. Mr. Patterson: We're through talking. (He leaves) (Cut to Alex giving Mr. Frost his central line) Mr. Frost: You don't like me very much, do you? Alex: No, Jerry, it's not you specifically, it's just uh, its people like you, that's all. (Derek walks in) Mr. Frost: Doc! Feeling pretty good. The pain's about a 3. Derek: A three? That's excellent. Mr. Frost, I'm glad we could help you out. As well as County, Mercy West, Seattle Pres., a lot of people helped you out, Jerry. Pleased we could do our part. Who's on discharge today, Dr. Karev? Alex: Izzie Stevens. Derek: Mr. Frost, Dr. Stevens is going to come in here and discharge you. Mr. Frost: Whoa, you can't discharge me. I'm in pain. Derek: You were in pain. Now you're not. Dr. Karev is going to recommend some wonderful treatment programs for you. Go home. Get some help. Mr. Frost: You can't just do that. (Derek leaves) Alex: He just did, my friend. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to Mr. Sterman's room) Izzie: Okay, any luck yet? Mr. Sterman: Nada. Izzie: Looks like you're going to have to spend another night. Mr. Sterman: Oh, I'd hate to miss the party. Are you going to make it? Izzie: Well, you are the last person on my list so it's looking pretty good. Mr. Sterman: So, doctors have lives after all. Who'd have thunk? Derek: Dr. Stevens, discharge my guy in 342. Izzie: Don't look at me like that. It's not going to take very long. It's not. (She leaves) (Cut to reception) (George walks over to Izzie) George: You paged me? Izzie: I'm gonna be a while. Do you think you could get home to sign for the beer? Alex: Why don't you have your boyfriend sign for it? Izzie: You have a very annoying way of sneaking up on people. Maybe if you were a little less creepy. Alex: I wouldn't come anyway. I hate big parties. George: Is Meredith the only person in the hospital who doesn't know the size of this thing? Izzie: I'm telling her. Cristina: You can't. She's gone already. Izzie: What? Already? Cristina: I think she had, excuse me, an errand to run. (Cristina walks off) Izzie: You don't think Meredith's really going to mind about the party, right? George: I want you to make it very clear to her that I had nothing to do with this party. Nothing. (He walks off) (Shots of nighttime Seattle) (Cut to nursing home) (Meredith walks in. Caretaker approaches her) Meredith: Sorry I'm late, it was the traffic Caretaker: It doesn't matter, dear. Meredith: Okay, don't tell me the notary didn't show. Caretaker: Oh, everybody's here. It's just your mother isn't. Meredith: Mom? Mom? Ellis: What do you people want from me? Meredith: We need you to sign the lawyers' papers. Ellis: I have a cranial reconstruction in a half hour. I need to go. Meredith: Okay, Mom, we're all here. We have a notary. I need you to focus and I need you to sign these papers. Mom, look at me. Ellis: It's an emergency surgery. I don't have time for this. Caretaker: She can't sign anything now. She's sun downing. We should have done this earlier in the day. Meredith: I couldn't come earlier in the day. I have a job. And a life. And I'm here now. Caretaker: Well, you're going to have to come back tomorrow when she's lucid. Meredith: You know, why did she put this off for so long? And why did you let her? Doesn't it strike you as slightly irresponsible? I mean, what the hell is wrong with you people? (She leaves) (Cut to hospital) (Cristina sees Bailey talking to Burke. She shows him the file. Bailey begins to walk away from Burke with the file. He motions for her to give him the file. She stops. She gives him the file and walks away. Cristina leaves, disappointed.) (Cut to Burke looking at the file himself) (Cut to Meredith driving up to her house) (There is loud music playing and people everywhere) Meredith: Izzie, I'm gonna kill you. (Cut to inside the house) (Cristina is at the food table. She reaches for something. Bailey takes it instead) Bailey: You could touch that, but I'd have to kill you. Cristina: (quietly) So about that towel thing? Bailey: It's been taken care of. Cristina: Okay. Bailey: You don't need to concern yourself with it. Cristina: So what's going to happen? Bailey: We're not gonna talk about it anymore is what's gonna happen. Are we clear? Or have you had too much alcohol to understand me? Cristina: We're very clear. Bailey: Good. You have any bourbon? (Cristina walks away) (Cut to Frost's room) (They're wheeling him out of his room in a wheel chair. He's putting up a fight to stay) Mr. Frost: You can't discharge a man in pain. Alex: Sorry. Mr. Frost: Ow, you're hurting me. Izzie: You're the one making it more difficult. Stop resisting. Mr. Frost: Just give me a hit of Demerol. Just give me a hit of Demerol. C'mon. Alex: the Dilaudid hasn't worn off yet. Izzie: Mr. Frost, you have to leave. Mr. Frost: I'm not leaving! NO! Izzie: I'm calling Psych. Mr. Frost: NO! (Gets out of wheelchair) Don't call Psych! Alex: Stop, Jerry. Stop him, stop him! (More struggling. Frost trips and falls. Alex and Izzie rush over) Alex: Jerry? Jerry! Izzie: Concussion? (Alex shines a flashlight into his eyes) Alex: He's blown his left pupil. Page Shepherd. We've gotta get him down to C.T. (Cut to x-ray room) Derek: That was one hard fall. What do you see? Izzie: Subdural bleed. Alex: With midline shift. Derek: We have to evacuate this now. Anywhere else you have to be, Dr. Stevens, or are you in? Izzie: Brian surgery? Derek: Mm-hmm. Izzie: Are you kidding me? Derek: That's what I thought. (Cut to Meredith's house) (There are people everywhere. Meredith comes in and looks around. She walks through the crowd. Some drunk hands her a Tiffany's style lamp. She unplugs it. She finds George.) Meredith: Where is Izzie?! George: She didn't clear it with you? Meredith: This was supposed to be a meet-the-boyfriend get together little thing. George: Izzie has a lot of friends. (They move through the crowd and continue fighting) Meredith: Izzie doesn't know this many people. George: I told her to clear it with you. Meredith: I can't handle this. George: You want me to kick everyone out? I'm gonna kick everyone out. (They turn to see Cristina drunk and dancing) Cristina: Baby! You made it! Woo! Meredith: Screw it. Hold this. (She gives George the lamp) Meredith: And give me this. (She takes the bottle of tequila from George. She goes over to Cristina and joins in the dancing and drinking) Cristina: Hi, baby! Cristina: George! George, come here. (He shakes his head. Meredith and Cristina yell at him to join them. He does. He stands between them. Meredith hands him the bottle, he takes a long drink and starts dancing, between Meredith and Cristina) (Cut to O.R.) Derek: See it? Alex: It's hard to miss. Derek: A little more than he bargained for. Alex: Maybe he's lucky. Maybe this is his way out of the hole. Derek: The hole? Interesting expression. (Izzie looks on) Alex: My father was into smack pretty heavy. He was a musician. It's tolerated in his line of work, not good for the family at home. (Long pause and exchanged looks) (Cut to Meredith's house) (Meredith, George and Cristina are drinking and playing cards) Meredith: Why did we want to be surgeons anyway? George: Surgery is very serious business (Cristina burps loudly. She has two cards stuck to her face) George: Full house! Cristina: (Evil laughter) Royal flush. Get naked, baby boy. Sexy! (Cristina throws down her cards. George reluctantly takes off his shirt) Meredith: Surgery is stupid. It's stupid. It's stupid. Cristina: Give me that. You're drunk. Meredith: I'm not driving. I'm not on call. I'm in my own house. My life is crap. And it's my party and I'll get drunk if I want to. (George is still trying to get his shirt off. Hank walks by) Hank: Is, um, Izzie Stevens? Cristina: Oh, you must be Hank. (She laughs and stands up) He's very large and hockey-like. No, Izzie�s not here right now. (Cristina leaves the room) George: You and Izzie will give birth to very tall, blonde people, like Barbies. Hank: Izzie said she was going to be at home. She didn't say there was going to be a party. Meredith: which pisses both of us off. Would you like some tequila? It helps. Hank: When do you think she's gonna get here? Meredith: Don't know. But we're low on ice, Hank. Hank: I'm serious. Meredith: So am I. We're interns, Hank. Hospital owns us. It's what we do. (Hank smiles and leaves) George: Bye. Meredith: Nice to meet ya. (Cut to scrub room) Derek: can you guys see him through recovery? Alex: Yeah, I'll take it. Izzie: No, I can do it. Alex: its okay, Stevens. Izzie: No, he's my patient now, too. Alex: No, I got it. See your hockey player. I'm serious. Izzie: Yeah, okay. I guess. Thanks, Alex. Alex: No problem. (Alex leaves. Izzie seems surprised) (Cut to outside of the hospital) (Izzie walks out and sees Hank. They hug) Izzie: Hey! Hank: Hey. Izzie: What are you doing here? (She kisses him) Izzie: I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to call. (Kiss) My patient needed brain surgery. (They start walking) Like, we were inside his brain. How cool is that? Hank: (Chuckles) Oh my god. There was a party at your house. Izzie: Yeah, did you get a chance to hang out? I wanted you to meet some of the people I work with. Hank: I don't care about the people you work with. I just want to see you. Izzie: Hmm, well you didn't mind meeting the people I worked with when they were models. Hank: Yeah, well, when they were models, you actually showed up to your own parties. Izzie: Yeah. (Long pause) This is my life now, Hank. I work 100 hour weeks. I can't always show up to my own parties on time. My patients have to come first. Hank: Yeah, I just flew across the entire country and there's 100 people at your house. Izzie: Yeah, 100 people who understand what I do all day. I shouldn't have to apologize for that. Hank: No, you shouldn't. (Izzie sighs) Izzie: Look, let's just go by the party for a little while. You'll really like everyone once you get a chance to know them. Hank: I should just go. Izzie: Hank, come on. Hank: I'll call you. (He kisses her and walks away) (Izzie watches him leave and walks back to the hospital) (Cut to Burke in a scrub room looking contemplative) (Cut to Meredith's house) (She's outside, swaying drunkenly and drinking. Derek is watching her) Derek: You know, in some states, you could get arrested for that. (She walks towards him) Derek: So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila. Tequila's no good for ya. It doesn't call. It doesn't write. It isn't nearly as much fun to wake up to. (She smiles and pulls him in for a kiss. They kiss a few times) Meredith: Take me for a ride, Derek. (Cut to Derek's car) (Derek is in the driver�s seat. Meredith is straddling him. He's not wearing a shirt and she's wearing her bra. Derek pulls his shirt over her shoulders.) Derek: You know, it sounds like the party's winding down. Listen to me. We should probably sneak inside, though. Meredith: We've done enough sneaking for the night. It was good sneaking, but enough sneaking. Derek: Yeah, I�d say we're pretty good sneakers. (They start kissing. There's tapping on the window. It's Dr. Bailey.) Bailey: You mind moving this tail wagon? You're blocking me in. Derek: Apparently not good enough. (Cut to next morning at Meredith's house) (George walks through the debris of snacks and bottles over to the couch. He hands Meredith, who is lying on the floor, a mug) George: When's your meeting with the chief? (He sits down, throws something off to the side) Meredith: In an hour. (Izzie comes home, looks around, shocked) Izzie: Holy mother of destruction. Meredith: You missed Doctor-palooza. (Izzie takes off her shoes and walks towards them) Izzie: Apparently, you didn't. Meredith: I should probably never speak to you again. IZZIE: Ugh, I'm so sorry, Meredith. I had no idea it was gonna get so... Meredith: It's okay. Really, I don't care. What would I be doing anyway? George: Preparing for your career-altering meeting? Sorry. Meredith: That heart wall shouldn't have torn. (Izzie picks up a beer) Izzie: Anything in the patient's history? Meredith: Husband says she was in the best shape of her life. She lost 100 pounds last year. Izzie: 100 pounds in a year, how's her muscle mass? (Izzie drinks) George: Do you even know whose that was? Izzie: I�m hoping it was yours. George: (looks disgusted) No. (Cut to George, Cristina and Izzie standing in hospital outside of Meredith's meeting) Izzie: So, what do you think? Cristina: 50 says Meredith gets tossed out on her ass and Burke walks away clean. George: Please be nice to her. (Cut to inside the meeting) Meredith: So, I have done a lot of research on this and Dr. Burke has been kind enough to help me. And I understand my responsibility, and what I've done wrong here. However, I do think the patient's history is significant in this case. She still weighs 200 pounds, which is why no one even noticed it, but with that kind of a weight drop, it doesn't matter how much you weigh, technically, you're anorexic. Burke: So, along with all that fat, she was losing muscle, heart muscle. Webber: That certainly could be a reason for a small poke to become a large tear. Lawyer: That still doesn't change the fact that the small poke wasn't reported by Dr. Grey at the time of the occurrence. Meredith: And if I could change that... Lawyer: And you can't, but you've left yourself and the hospital to a tremendous amount of liability. Burke: No, not if the patient�s weight loss caused the problem. Lawyer: I'm sorry. I have no choice here. Burke: I've spoken to the husband. And I believe as long as his wife remains stable. Lawyer: I can't take your beliefs to the bank, Dr. Burke. Dr. Grey made a huge error. Burke: And she reported it. Lawyer: Too late. And in front of the patient's husband. Burke: But she reported it. She spoke up. (pause) Five years ago, as a CT fellow, I had a nagging feeling that I didn't check the body cavity of a lung patient closely enough before I closed. The patient seemed fine post-op and I was in a hurry. And yesterday, you and Dr. Bailey pulled a towel out from under that patient's lung. Why didn't I report it at the appropriate time? Maybe because I was afraid that I would be called into a meeting where some hospital lawyer's fear of liability could end my career. Even great doctors make mistakes. And when we do, we've got to have a chance to be able to speak up without fear of retribution. Or everyone suffers. Dr. Grey spoke up. MVO: Responsibility. It really does suck. (Cut to Meredith leaving the meeting) (She starts to walk towards the three when intercepted by Derek) Derek: Meredith, you okay? Meredith: Yeah. One month probation. Derek: Good. That's good. (He leaves) Meredith: Burke saved my ass in there. Bailey: Don't you all have something better to do? C'mon people, move! (George, Cristina, Izzie and Meredith hurry away. Bailey pulls Cristina aside) Bailey: He was always gonna tell them about the towel. Just wanted to wait for the right time. Information is power. (Bailey walks off. Cristina looks in Burke's direction. He shakes Webber's hand and turns around, seeing Cristina. She runs off in the opposite direction to get back to work) (Cut to nursing home) (Caretaker is watching Ellis sign forms) MVO: Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away. (Cut to hospital, Frost's room) Alex: Jerry, this is Sloane. She's here to talk to you, if you want, about options for rehab. MVO: It can't be avoided. (Cut to Mrs. Drake's room) (Burke is sitting next to her bed) Burke: Mrs. Drake, I cannot begin to tell you how truly sorry I am. MVO: Either someone makes us face it, or we suffer the consequences. (Cut to Derek jogging up a staircase. He runs into Bailey, they exchange awkward looks) (Cut to Izzie walking past Mr. Sterman's room) Mr. Sterman: Izzie! I did it. I pooped! Izzie: (laughs) All right! (Alex walks up behind her and taps her on the shoulder) Alex: Missed your party? Izzie: Life as a surgeon. Alex: And loving every minute of it. (They split up and walk in different directions) (Cut to on-call room) (Burke is taking off his shoes and shirt. Cristina walks in. They see each other. She locks the door) MVO: And still, adulthood has its perks. Cristina: Thanks for the coffee. (Burke walks over and kisses her. They kiss passionately and begin to undress each other) (Cut to Meredith, George, Cristina, and Izzie cleaning up after the party) MVO: I mean the shoes, the sx, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. That�s pretty damn good.	Plan: A: surgery; Q: What is Meredith overwhelmed during? A: her career; Q: What could Meredith's mistake during surgery jeopardize? Summary: Meredith is overwhelmed causing her to make a mistake during surgery that could jeopardize her career.
[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- NIGHT] [EXT. BEST BARGAIN SUPERMARKET - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (A police car pulls up the parking lot and stops in front of the store.) [INT. OFFICER CAR (PARKED) - NIGHT] Officer Clay: What do you need to get? Officer Fromansky: Actually, it's what you need to get, rook. (OFFICER FROMANSKY hands OFFICER CLAY some bills.) Officer Clay: Aw, come on, man. We're off duty. Officer Fromansky: You're off when I say you're off. (With the bills in his fingers, he motions toward the store. OFFICER CLAY grabs the bills. He opens the car door and gets out.) Officer Fromansky: (through the open window) Don't forget the Ho-Hos. (OFFICER CLAY waves the bills over his shoulder as he heads into the supermarket.) [INT. BEST BARGAIN SUPERMARKET - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (OFFICER CLAY walks into the supermarket. Stifling a yawn, he heads toward the aisle to get his things.) (Cut to: He looks into the refrigerator racks, finds what he's looking for, opens the door and grabs the container of milk.) (Cut to: OFFICER CLAY heads back to the checkout counter.) Celeste Turner: I can help you over here, sir. (He points to the light.) Officer Clay: That's not what your light says. (She reaches out and turns the light on.) Officer Clay: Slow night? Celeste Turner: Kind of. (He puts the container of milk on the check out counter and turns to head back into the aisle.) Officer Clay: Oh ... can't forget the Ho-Hos. (He finds the Ho-Ho's and absently glances up at the mirrors in the ceiling. He sees a man in black carrying a gun walking up the next aisle.) (OFFICER CLAY unholsters his gun.) WHITE FLASH TO: [EXT. BEST BARGAIN SUPERMARKET - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT - LATER] (GRISSOM, CATHERINE and WARRICK carry their kits past the emergency vehicles in the parking lot and head into the supermarket.) (They see bodies on gurneys being rolled into the EMT vehicles. They see a MR. REED desperately trying to get past the officers and into the store.) Mr. Reed: Get out of my way! I've got to get in there! What the hell is wrong with you people? My wife is still in there! Why isn't anybody helping my wife?! Officer: (b.g.) We're doing the best we can, sir. ... Mr. Reed: Please! Brass: Body count's five. (GRISSOM looks around and sees OFFICER FROMANSKY sitting on the side, a blanket wrapped around his shoulder. OFFICER FROMANSKY watches GRISSOM head into the store.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BEST BARGAIN SUPERMARKET - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (BRASS walks into the store followed by CATHERINE, WARRICK and GRISSOM. BRASS stops in front of the fallen officer and kneels down as he gives them the information.) Brass: Officer Clay entered the store unaware of a robbery that was in progress. Officer Fromansky came in after he heard a shot fired. Engaged two suspects. Lit the place up. (WARRICK looks down the aisle and sees additional dead bodies.) Brass: The ski masks are John Does. The rest have wallet IDs. (Cut to: GRISSOM holds up the camera and snaps photos of the scene.) (CATHERINE snaps photos of JULIA REED.) Brass: (V.O.) Woman at the back is Julia Reed, cocktail waitress at the Tangiers. (WARRICK snaps photos of RUFUS SANDERS.) Brass: (V.O.) Man on aisle four is Rufus Sanders, cab driver. (He snaps more photos. When finished, he moves over to the open bag of cash on the aisle floor. He snaps a photo.) Warrick: How you want us to handle this, Grissom? Grissom: Same way you'd eat an elephant ... one bite at a time. (GRISSOM looks around and notices some blood drops on the floor leading to under a table. He makes his way toward it. BRASS finishes up with an officer.) Grissom: Hey, Jim ... did you know that Charles Manson is only 5'2"? Brass: Yeah, little guys tend to overcompensate. Grissom: Do you remember the, uh, story about ... how and where the marshals found old Charlie when they raided barker ranch? Brass: (gets it) Yeah. I always, uh ... (BRASS quietly unholsters his gun.) Brass: I always liked that story. (He kneels down and aims under the table. GRISSOM moves the cloth aside to show a little boy, awake, huddled on his side, shivering and bleeding from a gunshot wound.) Grissom: (shouts) We need a medic! HARD CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BEST BARGAIN SUPERMARKET - PARKING LOT] (The medics wheel out the HENRY TURNER on a gurney. BRASS and GRISSOM interview OFFICER FROMANSKY.) Brass: All right, tell me what happened. Officer Fromansky: I was in my radio car when I heard shots fired. I called for backup. I went in. (Quick flashback to: OFFICER FROMANSKY cautiously enters the supermarket. OFFICER CLAY is already dead on the floor.) Officer Fromansky: Clay, talk to me. Clay! (Gun shots are exchanged between OFFICER FROMANSKY and the ARMED SUSPECTS. They fire; he fires. A woman screams.) (OFFICER FROMANSKY hits the ARMED SUSPECT.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: How many shots you fire? Officer Fromansky: Three. No, four. I fired four. Brass: Then what? Officer Fromansky: I saw my partner on the floor. I went towards him. (Quick flashback to: [FROMANSKY'S POV] OFFICER CLAY is on the floor, dead and bloody, his head in a small pool of blood.) Officer Fromansky: (V.O.) Second gunman came at me. (OFFICER FROMANSKY looks up and sees the SECOND GUNMAN. He fires multiple times. He gets hit in the shoulder. A woman screams.) (OFFICER FROMANSKY gets back on his feet and continues firing until the GUNMAN goes down. The woman screams.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: How many shots you fire at the second gunman, total? Officer Fromansky: (thinking) Maybe-maybe five. I'd taken a shot in my vest. Grissom: Hard to count under those conditions. Are you sure? Officer Fromansky: No, I'm not sure. That's why I said maybe ... ...but I know I shot four at the third guy. I was going to check on my partner. I caught movement in the back. Black coat, ski mask, gun ... I put him down. (Quick flashback to: A THIRD GUNMAN as a dark blur runs across the screen from left to right. OFFICER FROMANSKY kneels next to his partner, looks up, sees the figure and fires multiple shots.) (A woman screams. The GUNMAN falls to the floor.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: He fire at you? Officer Fromansky: Didn't give him a chance. Brass: All right, that's all we need to know. I need your weapon. (BRASS holds out his hand and OFFICER FROMANSKY hands the gun handle first to him. GRISSOM watches BRASS check the weapon.) Officer Fromansky: My partner ... I want to be the one to tell his wife. He was my responsibility. Brass: All right. (OFFICER FROMANSKY stands up to make the call. BRASS turns to GRISSOM.) Brass: All right, look, if you're not going to say it, I will. Fromansky said he killed three, and there are two dead ski masks in there. Now, you cranked him up pretty good on that vigilante case last year. Is that going to be a problem? Grissom: No. (GRISSOM turns and walks away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BEST BARGAIN SUPERMARKET - BACK ROOM -- NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE and WARRICK speak with the other workers and witnesses at the back of the market.) Catherine: Everybody, could I please have your attention? All right, folks, I know that you've been through an awful lot this evening. If you could just bear with me a little longer, I need to talk with every one of you one at a time, so I promise to get you out of here as quickly as possible. (quietly to the officer) Is the, uh, guy in black the cocktail waitress' husband? Officer Metcalf: Yeah. Do you want him first? (She looks at him, his head in his hands.) Willows: I don't think he's ready for me just yet. I'm going to get to him soon enough. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BEST BARGAIN SUPERMARKET - FRONT OF STORE -- DAY] (SARA walks into find WARRICK processing OFFICER CLAY.) (He puts down evidence marker #55 and #56 near the casing. GRISSOM appears next to SARA.) Grissom: What happened to your assault in Henderson? Sara: I closed it. Where do you need me? Grissom: There's two more bodies over by the beer. Sara: You got it. (SARA heads for the back.) Warrick: Barely cleared the holster. Grissom: Reflex, maybe. Pulled the trigger before he had a target. (Quick flashback to: OFFICER CLAY pulling out his gun and firing before clearing the holster. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: Not quick enough. (WARRICK looks around at the blood spatter on the SUZY Q boxes. He puts down evidence marker #57 next to OFFICER CLAY'S head.) [SCENE_BREAK] [BACK ROOM] (CATHERINE interviews the BAGBOY.) Bagboy: Those two guys came out of nowhere ... made everybody go to the corner. Catherine: Where, specifically? Bagboy: Uh ... dry goods. Then one guy grabs Celeste ... (Quick flashback to: CELESTE TURNER behind the check out counter.) (Cut to: Through the reflection of the ceiling mirror, the GUNMAN pushes CELESTE TURNER, forcing her to open the register.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Which guy? (He glances quickly behind him before answering.) Bagboy: I was looking at his piece, not his face, okay? Catherine: Shotgun or handgun? Bagboy: Uh, shotgun. He drags her over to the registers, makes her open 'em up. She does. They're pulling out the cash, and then he sees the cops roll up. Second guy says, "everybody, get down and don't say a freaking word," so that's what I did. (He glances behind him.) Catherine: And then ... Bagboy: ... And then? (Quick flashback to: Everyone is huddled in the aisles, the GUNMAN as the gun on them. He looks up and runs over.) (There's gunfire everywhere.) Bagboy: (V.O.) ... ankles and flashes and booms. (The BAGBOY has his head tucked under his arms.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Bagboy: That's all I remember. Catherine: And you never moved from that spot? Bagboy: (glances behind him) No, I didn't. Catherine: Do you have somewhere you need to be? (He looks at CATHERINE and pauses, embarrassed.) Bagboy: I got to change my pants. (She glances down.) Catherine: Sorry. [SCENE_BREAK] [MAIN MARKET] (GRISSOM processes the scene around the dead GUNMAN. He caps the swab tip, looks at the gunman, then pulls the ski mask down below his chin to look at his face.) (Cut to: SARA processes the scene around the SECOND GUNMAN.) [SCENE_BREAK] [SECURITY BOOTH] (NICK gathers the security tapes from the machines.) Manager: Well, you know, we're not the most modern store around. Nick: How long is the surveillance loop? Manager: About 24 hours. (NICK finds some tapes missing.) Nick: What, uh ... what happened to these tapes here? Manager: Nothing. Nick: These are active cameras, right? Manager: Those VCRs are busted. Never got 'em fixed. You know, cutbacks. Over the register and outside works. That's all we really need. Gotta keep an eye on the employees, right? Nick: Right. Manager: They steal worse than the customers. [SCENE_BREAK] [SLOT MACHINES] (WARRICK checks the win at the machine.) [SCENE_BREAK] [SARA] (SARA picks up something from the pool of blood. She bags it.) Warrick: You know, this guy hit a $75 jackpot. Probably shoving quarters in his pockets when this whole thing went down. Sara: The door was twenty feet away. He probably could've made a run for it. Warrick: You know, after the MGM grand fire, they found people fused to slot machines. Never even made it out of their seats. This guy probably thought it was his lucky day. I'm sure he wasn't going to leave without his money. (Camera holds on the quarters in the blood.) [SCENE_BREAK] [BACK OF STORE] (CATHERINE interviews an older check out woman.) Woman Cashier: We all just started running when those two psychos started shooting it out with the cop... (Quick flashback to: When the gunman turns to exchange bullets with the officer, the group of hostages start running. RUFUS SANDERS gets shot.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Woman Cashier: I took a first aid course about a hundred years ago, (Quick flashback to: The WOMAN rushes over to help him.) Woman Cashier: (V.O.) ... so I-I-I tried to keep pressure on the wound, but it just kept bleeding, you know? (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Woman Cashier: I couldn't leave Rufus all alone, scared, dying. Catherine: You were friends? Woman Cashier: Mmm, sort of. He-he'd come in a couple of times a week and play the quarter slots. Catherine: From where you and Rufus were, could you see Officer Fromansky? Woman Cashier: Oh, the cop who saved us? (shakes head) No. I couldn't see anything. I just heard all that gunfire just blasting away. [SCENE_BREAK] [WARRICK] (WARRICK looks around and finds a container of drain cleaner, spilled and empty from the bullet holes.) (Quick flash of the bullet hitting the drain cleaner. Resume to present.) (He clips it over and reads that the main ingredient is Sodium Hydroxide. He puts the empty container back down on the ground.) (He turns and looks at the bullet holes in the glass.) (He turns and joins DAVID PHILLIPS who is attending JULIA REED.) David Phillips: Hey. Warrick: Hey. David Phillips: Entry wound's on the left side. Warrick: There's no exit wound? (DAVID checks her back and doesn't find it. Warrick: Skin's thicker on the back. Captured the bullet. David Phillips: We'll retrieve it at autopsy. [SCENE_BREAK] [BACK OF MARKET] (CATHERINE interviews MR. REED, JULIA REED'S husband.) Mr. Reed: I was, uh ... holding Julia's hand trying to find a place to hide ... somewhere safe. It was those stupid heels, you know. She was always forgetting to bring her flats to work. (Quick flashback to: MR. REED pulls JULIA through the aisle. Gunshots fire and JULIA falls to the ground.) Mr. Reed: Come on. (He turns around and finds her dead. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Mr. Reed: They didn't have to shoot her. They were wearing masks. We didn't even get a good look at them. Catherine: Mr. Reed, you can't look for reasons here. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY] (WARRICK watches as DR. ROBBINS extracts the bullet from JULIA REED.) Robbins: We'll have it out in a second. The trick is to apply even pressure all around. (ROBBINS uses his fingers and pushes the bullet out.) Warrick: Is there something wrong with tweezers? Robbins: They can mess up the striae. You've got enough to deal with without my toolmarks in the mix. Here we go. (He holds up the bullet.) Robbins: Huh. Paper or plastic? (In his other hand, he holds up a baggie and a bindle for WARRICK to choose.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - MORGUE] (GRISSOM walks in to find DAVID PHILLIPS with the other bodies.) David Phillips: Officer Clay's already been processed. We wanted to get him to his family. Grissom: Did you get prints off the two suspects? David Phillips: Uh, yeah. They're right here. (DAVID hands them to GRISSOM.) David Phillips: And we also got bullets from both of them. Grissom: Good. (GRISSOM notices the tattoos.) Prison tattoos. They weren't virgins. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL -- HALLWAY] (CATHERINE talks with the nurse at the desk.) Catherine: Hi, I was wondering if I might be able to speak with Celeste Turner. She, uh, has a gunshot wound. She was brought in from the grocery store robbery. Nurse: Right. Curtain three. Just out of surgery. Stable. She's still pretty doped up, though. You're going to have to come back later. You going to need these? (She hands the bag with the bullets to CATHERINE.) Catherine: Yes. Thank you. (She looks at the bullets.) Catherine: What can you tell me about the little boy who was also brought in from the robbery incident? Nurse: Minor injuries. He's fine. Mostly shock. He's with his mom. Hell of a night, huh? Take your kid to work, both end up shot. Catherine: Wait a minute. So, the little boy's mother is Celeste Turner? Nurse: Yeah. [HALLWAY OUTSIDE ROOM] (CATHERINE watches through the glass as mother and son share the same bed. They're both sleeping.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB] (CATHERINE watches the security video with NICK.) Catherine: bstrd was behind her the whole time. Nick: Yeah. (He sighs.) Nick: Okay, here's what I got so far ... there's our two DOA suspects. Looks like they just walked in off the street. Catherine: Is there any sign of Fromansky's mystery gunner? Nick: No. All the cars in the parking lot were accounted for, and the loading dock out back was deserted, so ... (He hits more keys.) Nick: ... this is the only view of what went down. (On video: The GUNMAN pushes CELESTE TURNER back to her cash register.) Nick: And see here? Here comes our cop. (On video: OFFICER CLAY steps onto screen, puts the milk container on the check out counter, turns around and walks off frame.) Nick: Three, four feet away, doesn't even see him. The thing I hate the most is the bad guys always know if there's going to be a gunfight. (On video: The GUNMAN steps out from around CELEST TURNER to point his gun at OFFICER CLAY.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (WARRICK, SARA and GRISSOM walk through the hallway.) Warrick: Officer Clay's one shot went into the floor. The bullet fragmented. That's probably how that kid got hit. But Officer Fromansky's beretta and that suspect's tec-9, they both had hollow .9 millimeters. Between the two of them, they shot off 18 rounds. Sara: Shotgun was a mossberg, model 500. Eight rounds fired. Ammo was double-aught buckshot, nine pellets per shell. Grissom: 18 bullets, a total of 26 shells, 72 pellets. Enjoy. (GRISSOM turns and heads into the office. SARA and WARRICK sigh.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB] (BOBBY DAWSON test fires a weapon.) Bobby Dawson: Firing two shots! (Cut to: BOBBY compares the bullets.) (Cut to: SARA weighs the bullet.) (Cut to: SARA swabs the bullet.) (Cut to: SARA puts a sample under the scope.) (Cut to: WARRICK works on a computer reinactment of the bullets fired and positions of the people in the market.) (Dissolve to: A close up of the crime scene photo of OFFICER CLAY.) (Cut to: The computer lines up the bullets and shots fired.) (Dissolve to: A close up of the crime scene photo of the dead GUNMAN.) (Dissolve back to the computer screen showing the shots fired from the GUNMAN to RUFUS SANDERS.) (Dissolve to: A close up of the crime scene photo of the dead RUFUS SANDERS.) (Dissolve back to the computer screen showing the shots fired from OFFICER FROMANSKY to JULIA REED.) (Dissolve to: A close up of the crime scene photo of JULIA REED.) (WARRICK looks at the monitor.) (BOBBY DAWSON walks into the lab.) Grissom: Warrick. (He hands WARRICK the rest results. WARRICK looks at it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (WARRICK finds GRISSOM reading a book and walking in the hallway.) Warrick: Grissom, we got a problem. Grissom: Only one? Warrick: We've identified all the bullets recovered at the scene. There's no evidence of a third gunmen. It gets worse. The bullet that killed the cocktail waitress -- it came from Fromansky's gun. (They walk out of camera frame.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE] (BRASS and GRISSOM interview OFFICER FROMANSKY.) Brass: How you feeling, Officer? Officer Fromansky: Little sore. Brass: Desk duty hurts a lot more. Is there anything you want to add to your statement? Officer Fromansky: What's he saying I did this time? Brass: A bullet from your gun killed a cocktail waitress. Officer Fromansky: A ricochet. Grissom: No. A clean shot. Officer Fromansky: Not possible. Brass: No one at the scene saw a third gunman. Officer Fromansky: I would never shoot at a civilian. I saw a guy wearing a ski mask, dark coat, holding a gun. Grissom: The girl was wearing a black sweater, carrying a purse. Officer Fromansky: I didn't shoot at that. Brass: You'd just took a full load in the chest. Maybe you were confused. Officer Fromansky: (shakes his head) Wasn't confused. Grissom: Your statement says that you fired four shots at this third gunman. Officer Fromansky: Yeah. Grissom: Ballistics evidence shows that you spread five shots over the back wall. Officer Fromansky: So I fired more than I thought. So what. I was engaged with multiple hostile targets. Brass: You're not back in the Gulf. You're a police officer. You're supposed to identify a target. Officer Fromansky: (to BRASS) And that's what I did. (to GRISSOM) What are you, pissed off because the last time you tried to jam me up didn't work? Brass: Hey, ease up. Officer Fromansky: What I said in my statement is the truth. Grissom: The truth is, we have a dead civilian with your bullet in her. (OFFICER FROMANSKY stops and looks at BRASS.) Officer Fromansky: This going to the next step? Brass: It has to. You're on administrative leave pending an IAB review. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL ROOM] (CATHERINE interviews CELESTE TURNER.) Celeste Turner: There was no way I could warn that cop. I wanted to ... (Quick flashback to: [VIDEO VIEW] The GUNMAN stands behind CELESTE at the register.) Celeste Turner: (V.O.) ... but the guy was right there, (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Celeste Turner: under the counter ... pushing his gun right in my stomach. I'm sorry. Catherine: You're not the one that pulled the trigger. Ms. Turner, what was your son doing there with you? Celeste Turner: Well, my ex was looking after him that night. Then the son of a bitch shows up at the store. Had a party to go to. Practically shoved Henry out of the car. I mean ... I'm not allowed to bring kids to work. So I snuck Henry into the office, and I told him to stay there. Catherine: Then? Celeste Turner: Then those two maniacs came in. They shot that poor policeman. And then everything just went crazy. (Quick flashback to: CELESTE runs to the office.) Celeste Turner: (V.O.) I was running, and I ran to go find Henry ... Celeste Turner: Henry! (She turns around and runs out of the office. The GUNMAN shoots her.) Celeste Turner: (V.O.) ... but I couldn't find him anywhere. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Celeste Turner: That's all I remember. (CATHERINE looks at HENRY and sees him asleep, a candy bar clutched in his hand.) Catherine: Henry likes his candy, doesn't he? Celeste Turner: He's got five cavities to prove it. How'd you know? Catherine: Well, we found him in a storage cabinet, near the candy rack. Celeste Turner: He never listens to me. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (A couple of techs count the cash as NICK instructs them.) Nick: Double counts, two people in the room at all times. When you're done, match the total amounts with the register receipts, okay? (CATHERINE walks into the room.) Catherine: So, explain to me what all the money was doing in the registers and not the store safe. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB] (NICK shots CATHERINE a close up of the cash register on the monitor.) Nick: See that light? It's called a halo. It's keyed to the sensor in the cash register. Now, at a preset amount, that light goes off, letting the store manager know it's time to transfer the cash to the safe. Now check this out ... (On video: Most of the cash register lights flash.) Catherine: Most of the halos are lit. Nick: Maximum cash, just lying in the drawers. Catherine: So, those guys did their homework. They picked the perfect time to hit. Nick: Mm-hmm. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM goes over the autopsy photos with ROBBINS. The photos are spread out on the table.) Grissom: AFIS hits on our suspects, both just recently released from five-year sentences at Lompoc. Robbins: California boys. Grissom: Born and raised. Robbins: Okay. Let's do this. Officer Clay was killed by a single close-range shotgun blast to the back of the head. Excessive penetration and laceration of the brain. Suspect Clyde Tremmel ... Grissom: The tec-9 guy. Robbins: Two distant-range, medium-caliber gunshot wounds to the front of the chest, with penetration of the lung and heart. (CATHERINE enters the room and quietly listens.) Robbins: Suspect Jack Delver ... Grissom: Shotgun guy. Robbins: One distant-range, medium-caliber gunshot wound to the forehead. The bullet penetrated the brain and was recovered in the occipital lobe. Rufus Sanders, bystander ... (As ROBBINS narrates, GRISSOM takes notes.) Robbins: ... five scattered buckshot perforations on the outer thigh. One severed the femoral artery, resulting in massive hemorrhage. And Julia Reed, cocktail waitress. Single medium-caliber gunshot wound to the left chest. The bullet perforated the lung and thoracic aorta, then perforated the opposite lung. And that's it. Grissom: Thanks, Doc. (CATHERINE looks at the photo of JULIA REED.) Robbins: Catherine, something bothering you? Catherine: A little. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - WAITING ROOM -- DAY] (CATHERINE re-questions MR. REED.) Mr. Reed: Look, I came here to pick up my wife's body. I already gave you my statement. Catherine: Well, we just need a few more details before we can release the body. I promise this won't be long. Mr. Reed: What? Catherine: Well, you said that your wife fell during the gunfight, that that's how you got separated. Mr. Reed: Yeah. Catherine: Do you recall exactly how she fell? Mr. Reed: Well, what do you mean? Catherine: How did she land? Did she land sideways, backwards ... ? Mr. Reed: She fell forward, I think. Catherine: She fell forward. So her hands broke the fall, landed on her knees? Mr. Reed: Yeah. Catherine: Well, there weren't any bruises or scrapes on her knees or elbows, which is leading me to believe that she didn't fall. Mr. Reed: Well, what's-what's the difference? She's dead. Catherine: Mr. Reed, there were a lot of bullets flying around that store and a lot of victims, and every detail is important, but they don't help if they're not accurate. Mr. Reed: Well, when we started running ... she was right behind me. (Quick flashback: MR. REED and JULIA REED run across the aisle as gun shots sound around them. MR. REED ducks behind a display and is separated from JULIA who stands out in the open against the refrigerator doors.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Mr. Reed: She froze up. Just stood there looking right at me ... scared out of her mind. I ... yelled at her to get down, to come over to me. Sh-she wouldn't move. I mean I'm ... I'm pretty sure I yelled. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM and WARRICK work on the schematics of gunfire.) Grissom: Highlight the shots that killed the tec-9 shooter. (WARRICK puts it on screen.) Grissom: Fromansky said that he fired three or four shots at that target. Warrick: He fired four. That accounts for those shots. (Quick flashback to: The gunfire and FROMANSKY firing back. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: Okay, the guy with the shotgun was killed with... one bullet. Warrick: Well, those four shots were definitely meant for him. Grissom: But this shot is closer to the second gunman than it is to the cocktail waitress. Warrick: Well, Fromansky was turning when he fired so his shots were spread out. (Quick flashback to: FROMANSKY and the GUNMAN fire at each other. FROMANSKY is hit. The GUNMAN is hit. RUFUS SANDERS is hit in the leg. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: Okay. Warrick: Which means Fromansky fired four shots at a target at the back of the store. Grissom: Just like he said he did. Warrick: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (In the observation room, GRISSOM and BRASS watch IAB interview OFFICER FROMANSKY.) IAB Officer: At the walk-through you said that you saw a third suspect at the back of the store. Why did you make the decision to shoot? Officer Fromansky: I was in fear for my life. IAB Officer: Did you see a weapon? Officer Fromansky: Yes. IAB Officer: What kind? Officer Fromansky: A semiautomatic pistol. IAB Officer: So you fired first. Officer Fromansky: Yes. IAB Officer: Four times. Officer Fromansky: Yes. IAB Officer: Can you explain the lack of evidence for a third suspect at the scene? Officer Fromansky: That's not my job. Brass: Right or wrong, there'll be guys on the job who'll think this was personal. Grissom: They'd be wrong. IAB Officer: Did you see Julia Reed in your line of fire? Officer Fromansky: No. IAB Officer: According to Supervising Criminalist Grissom's report, you had an unobstructed view of Ms. Reed, so how do you explain the fact that you didn't see her? Officer Fromansky: I can't. IAB Officer: You don't deny that a bullet from your weapon killed her? Officer Fromansky: I'm not denying that. IAB Officer: But you can't explain it? Officer Fromansky: No. IAB Officer: Look, your partner was dead. You'd been shot. You saw someone you thought was a suspect and you fired. Under those circumstances, any one of us could make a mistake. Did you? (OFFICER FROMANSKY doesn't say anything.) IAB Officer: Officer Fromansky, answer the question. (He still doesn't say anything.) (In the observation room, BRASS watches.) Brass: He says yes, he's a bad cop. He says no, he's a liar. Grissom: Maybe he really doesn't know what happened. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. BEST BARGAIN SUPERMARKET -- DAY] (GRISSOM and WARRICK use dummies and laser lights to show the trajectories of the gunfire.) Warrick: A little over. Perfect. Grissom: Good. Warrick: Let's say I'm Fromansky. (WARRICK holds out his hands in front of him as if holding a gun. He Warrick: There's nothing between Fromansky and the cocktail waitress. I got a clean view and a clear shot. (GRISSOM notices something in the refrigerator glass.) Grissom: Hey, take a look at this. The cracks in the glass from shot 22 are terminated by the cracks from shot 23. (Close up of the shots and the glass cracking.) Grissom: So, shot 23 had to occur before shot 22. Which means that Fromansky was firing from left to right, not right to left. (Quick flashback to: FROMANSKY firing four shots. Resume to present.) Warrick: Four shots on a level spread. He was shooting at a moving target. Grissom: According to Catherine's witness, the cocktail waitress wasn't moving. She was a stationary target. (Quick flashback to: JULIA REED standing in the middle of the aisle, panicking. Resume to present.) Grissom: So, if he was shooting at a moving target, where was it moving to? (He looks in the direction and finds the EXIT door.) (Cut to: GRISSOM and WARRICK walk through the exit door and out to the back of the market.) [EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY] (WARRICK points to the camera.) Warrick: We have the surveillance tape. Shows nothing going on here before, during or after the robbery. Grissom: Well, just because it shows nothing doesn't mean it's seeing everything. [SCENE_BREAK] [SECURITY OFFICE - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (On the monitor, WARRICK stands on the loading dock while looking up at the camera.) Warrick: (to phone) You can see me now, right? Grissom: Keep moving to your right. Warrick: (to phone) All right. Grissom: Keep going. Keep going. Warrick: (to phone) I'm still in? GRISSOM Right there. Now you're out. (WARRICK looks around at the area outside the camera view. He notices the scrapings on the wall and sees a perfect line up the ramp.) Grissom: Tell me what you see. Warrick: A getaway. (Quick flashback to: [NIGHT] The getaway car takes off. Resume to present.) (WARRICK notices the skid marks on the ground.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (WARRICK, CATHERINE and NICK walk through the hallway.) Warrick: We found metal paint scrapings and skid marks. Both recent on that loading dock. These guys definitely had a wheelman. Nick: Yeah, guy slips in after everything gets started. During the confusion, nobody sees him. Or no one that was alive to tell anyway. Warrick: Except Fromansky. Nick: Yeah. Catherine: Well, the suspects knew there was a blind spot. It has to be an inside job. Nick: Oh, no doubt. Matched the cash from the garbage bag to the register receipts-- $878 was missing. Catherine: Somebody came out ahead. Inside guy? Nick: Well, I'll run the employees. Maybe somebody's got a record. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FBI - TRACE LAB] (HODGES works on identifying the source of the paint chips. He identifies the color: AEGEAN BLUE.) (Cut to: HODGES reports his findings to WARRICK.) Hodges: Ran your paint chips through ppg and Dupont. Got a hit. Aegean Blue Honda Accord. Warrick: Popular color. Hodges: They carried it over for four years. Go figure. I'm a teal man myself. You? (HODGES looks at WARRICK. WARRICK doesn't say anything.) Hodges: Stupid question. Anyway, model years '84 to '87. Warrick: I'll put out a broadcast. Thanks, Hodges. Hodges: Sure. (WARRICK leaves the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE] (GRISSOM works at his desk when OFFICER FROMANSKY walks in.) Officer Fromansky: Before this goes any deeper, I want to hear it from you. Are you going to try to screw me on this? (GRISSOM looks at the photos in his hand.) Officer Fromansky: Well? Grissom: I guess it depends on whether I get stuck in traffic on the way to your hearing. (GRISSOM looks at OFFICER FROMANSKY. FROMANSKY turns and walks out of the office.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SIDEWALK -- DAY] (WARRICK and BRASS head for the getaway car parked on the side of the street.) Brass: So, this car was reported stolen about, uh, oh, about three weeks ago. Why don't you take the front. I'll take the back. (They open the doors and look inside. WARRICK notices something white staining the seats. He does a pH test.) Warrick: Ph 13. Sodium hydroxide. (Quick flashback to: [THE MARKET] Gunshots hit the drain cleaner stand. Resume to present.) (WARRICK notices the busted starter. He photographs it. BRASS finds a cell phone.) Brass: Got a cell phone. There's a lot of scung on it. Won't be too good for prints, but let me check the call history. (Received Calls show: Brass: Same number keeps popping up. (BRASS pulls out his own phone and dials.) Answering Machine: (recording on phone): Best bargain is temporarily closed. Please check back tomorrow. Brass: Well, this is interesting. Before the robbery went down, somebody at the store was very eager to talk to our suspects. Same number. Warrick: Yeah? Maybe he can tell us who. (WARRICK holds up the print card.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (BRASS interviews TODD HALLICKEY.) Brass: Todd Hallickey. Todd Hallickey: Look, I don't know why you guys brought me here, but you got no right tossing my apartment. Brass: We matched your prints from a stolen car off the prints from a prior car theft, and bingo, we had a match. Got a warrant for your apartment. Todd Hallickey: I don't boost cars no more. Brass: (chuckles) Yeah, right. Todd Hallickey: Oh, wait. No, I ... I was looking into getting some wheels a couple of weeks ago. I test-drove this old Honda Accord this guy was trying to unload. Brass: An '86 Aegean Blue with matching velour interior? Todd Hallickey: Yeah, that was it. Must be how my print got there. Well, didn't buy the car. Guy seemed kind of shady. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (WARRICK takes out a sweater from an evidence box. He examines the sweater as we continue to hear BRASS' interview in voice over.) Brass: (V.O.) You wouldn't happen to remember this shady guy's name, would you? Todd Hallickey: (V.O.) Come on. No one keeps track of stuff like that. Brass: (V.O.) Uh, right. You own any firearms, Mr. Hallickey? Todd Hallickey: (V.O.) No, sir, I'm on parole. Besides, I don't believe in guns. They're dangerous. [INTERVIEW -- CONTINUOUS] (BRASS notices the red burn marks on TODD HALLICKEY'S knuckles. Brass: You know, that's a nasty injury you got there, Todd. Looks kind of painful. How'd you get it? Todd Hallickey: It's a rash. Brass: Looks like a chemical burn to me. You know what sodium hydroxide is? Todd Hallickey: Never heard of it. (Cut back to: WARRICK examines the jacket and finds the hole in the sleeve.) Brass: (V.O.) Let me tell you what it is. It's the active ingredient in drain cleaner. It opens up the pipes, dissolves flesh and fabrics. [INTERVIEW - CONTINUOUS] (WARRICK walks into the interview with the test results.) Todd Hallickey: Look, you want to pin that car on me, you go ahead and try. Warrick: I got this off the jacket from your apartment. What the hell is this? Brown: It's a bullet wipe. A test for lead. (Quick CGI POV to: A bullet is shot and it hits the jacket. End of CGI POV.) Warrick: Congratulations. You passed. (TODD HALLICKEY stares at WARRICK and swallows.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM - LATE DAY] (GRISSOM, WARRICK and CATHERINE meet to discuss the case.) Warrick: Hallickey's got no connection to the grocery store. He was just the wheel man. Even, still, he's looking at four counts of felony murder. But he's not talking. He lawyered up. Grissom: We got a bullet hole in a jacket. That's not even enough to prove that he was in the store. Catherine: What about the cash? Warrick: It wasn't in his apartment. Maybe somebody else took it. Catherine: Almost $900 in small bills? We'd have noticed pockets bulging with a wad like that. Grissom: What about the calls from the grocery store to the suspect's cell? That could have been somebody giving the "go" signal. Warrick: There's no way to tell who. The store runs off of an old PBX system, and every call that comes in goes back to the same number. Every employee was near a phone, so, it could have been anybody. (NICK walks into the room and takes a seat.) Nick: Hey, y'all. Ran the criminal records for the employees. Came up with a Raul Valdez. Freight loader. (NICK hands GRISSOM a photo.) Nick: He clocked in for work that night. Never clocked out. Catherine: No one by that name interviewed at the scene? Nick: Here's the kicker. A few years ago, he spent some time in prison. Lompoc. So, Brass is trying to find him now. (GRISSOM hands the photo to CATHERINE.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BEST BARGAIN SUPERMARKET] (CATHERINE walks through the aisles. She looks at the photo where the bag of money was found and heads for that spot in the aisle. She looks down at the ground.) (Quick flash to the bag of money.) (CATHERINE looks around. She puts her bag down and checks the aisles.) (She finds a brown stain on the floor. She rubs her finger in it and smells it. She knows what it is.) (Quick flash to: The interview with the BAGBOY.) Bagboy: I got to change my pants. (She looks down and notices the stain. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (CATHERINE checks the shelves and finds a box of PUFFIOS stuffed with the missing money.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM] (CATHERINE re-interviews the BAGBOY.) Catherine: You left something in the store besides a urine stain. (She puts the photo of the box of PUFFIOS in front of him.) Catherine: Just a little too tempting, huh? All that cash just sitting there right in front of your face ... (Quick flashback to: With gunfire all around him, the BAGBOY has his head down. He looks up and notices the money in the shelves. He starts grabbing it.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Bagboy: Look, I go to that store to bag groceries, not to get my ass shot off. I figure I earned the money. Kind of like working overtime. Catherine: Might as well get something for all your trouble, right? Considering the fact that your nice little robbery had gone straight to hell. Bagboy: Whoa, wait a minute. You think ... ? No way. Catherine: It was an inside job. You knew the registers were full. Those gunmen had help from an employee. Bagboy: Not from me, they didn't. Look, you want to bust me for the money, go ahead, I took it. But I did not set the thing up. (CATHERINE stares at him.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM looks through the scope. WARRICK walks in.) Warrick: You know, Hodges already analyzed trace on the bullets. Grissom: Yeah, I wanted to take a look myself. Warrick: He'll take it personally. Grissom: Good. The report says that the cocktail waitress was wearing a black wool sweater. Was she also wearing something polyester? Warrick: No. Grissom: Take a look at this. (WARRICK looks through the scope.) Warrick: Black fibers. Probably synthetic. Mixed in with the wool. If their gunman was wearing a black polyester jacket ... Grissom: Fromansky claims that he was tunnel-visioned on the gunman. So, it's possible that he never even saw the cocktail waitress. (Quick flashback to: THE GUNMAN runs across the aisle. FROMANSKY raises his gun and fires at the moving target.) (Camera zooms in and follows the bullet as it travels straight for JULIA REED piercing through her clothes and flesh.) (The GUNMAN continues to run; JULIA REED falls to the ground.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: You may have just saved Fromansky's ass. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (NICK catches up with CATHERINE in the hallway.) Nick: Hey, Catherine, how'd it go with the bag boy? Catherine: He admitted to swiping the cash, but he wouldn't cop to the robbery. Nick: Then I have something you should see. I was going back through the surveillance tapes covering the loading dock, thinking I might find someone scouting a blind spot, you know? But instead, I found this. Two nights before the robbery. (NICK shows CATHERINE what's on the video.) (On video: The camera moves to the left.) Nick: There. See that? Catherine: One more time. Nick: Yeah. (On video: The camera shifts to the left.) Nick: That camera's stationary, so ... Catherine: Somebody moved the camera. (NICK smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM] (CATHERINE interviews CELESTE TURNER.) Catherine: You used to part-time at the forum shops. We got your prints off your work card. It was the same print that we got off the loading dock surveillance camera. (CATHERINE shows the photo to CELESTE TURNER.) (Quick flash of CELESTE TURNER moving the security camera.) (Cut to: The camera view.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: Raul Valdez, an ex-con -- your co-worker. You got him to give you the names of some guys to do the job. Catherine: You give them the best time to hit the registers. You tell them where to park. It's a good plan. Until your Ex showed up and leaves you with your kid. Brass: Then you panic, and you call your guys, try to call it off, but they won't listen. Catherine: If that's what happened, that could go in your favor. Brass: When we find Raul, he'll give you up in a heartbeat. Celeste Turner: (swallows) I think I need to get a lawyer. Brass: What you need is come clean and cooperate. And you better hope and pray the DA doesn't want to put a needle in your arm for killing five people, including a cop. Celeste Turner: I have been working at that store for five years. Thirty-eight hours a week. Thirty-eight ... not forty. You know why? Because my manager won't give me enough hours to qualify for benefits. I have a kid ... with rotten teeth. I never meant for anybody to get hurt. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- NIGHT] (OFFICER FROMANSKY receives an award at the police department. REPORTERS take photos of the presentation.) Reporter: Officer Fromansky, if you could smile, please? REPORTER: Thank you; right over here. (BRASS and GRISSOM walk past the gathering.) Brass: Guy from the mayor's office. Fromansky's getting a commendation. What do you think? Grissom: Two dead felons, two dead civilians a dead policeman ... I don't know what to think. (They walk out of camera frame.) FADE TO BLACK	Plan: A: a grocery store; Q: Where is the robbery that turns into a shootout? A: five people; Q: How many people are killed in the grocery store shootout? A: The evidence; Q: What leads Grissom to doubt the story of the other police officer? Summary: The entire team investigates when a robbery at a grocery store turns into a shootout, leaving five people dead, one of whom is a police officer. The evidence leads Grissom to doubt the story of the other police officer at the scene.
Opening scene - Cohen kitchen, night - Sandy, Kirsten, Seth and Ryan are in there together. they've just finished dinner Sandy: baby you did it again, another amazing meal Kirsten: oh my pleasure (looks at Ryan) oh Ryan I forgot to ask (Ryan looks up) d'you have any requests for your birthday on Sunday Seth: (frowns) Sundays your birthday Ryan: (looks at Seth) thanks buddy Sandy: (off screen) not just any birthday (Seth stands) Ryan's turning eighteen (on screen) becoming a fully enfranchised citizen of this (proudly) great democratic experiment we call (looks up patriotically) America Seth: yes we all know you went ta law school the important thing is (looks at Ryan) we need to have a party Ryan: oh nnnn no (shakes hand) no party Seth: but you're turning eighteen, that's huge Ryan: (nonchalantly) nah it's just another year (picks up plates) Sandy: oh I-I- I disagree, yeah I remember when I turned eighteen I couldn't wait to vote in my first election Kirsten: my little eagle scout (smiles) Seth: yeah an if you cross Johnny Law no more of that daycare juvi (shakes head) its gonna be hard time in the big house for you pally Ryan: (looks at Seth, raises eyebrows) yeah that's reason to celebrate Seth: (moves closer) what'do you have against birthday party's Ryan: nothing it's just I think the last birthday I had I was nine years old an my mom took me to the San Diego zoo Seth: sounds awesome an since then your too cool for birthday party's Ryan: (matter of factly) no an then she started having her all day drinking on the couch party's Seth: (looks down) huh (cue awkward silent moment for everyone. Seth especially doesn't know what to say) Seth: (looks at Sandy) d'you wanna tag in here Sandy: look this is one'a life's milestones (Ryan listens) it'd be a mistake to blow passed it Kirsten: it doesn't have'ta be a big to do (Ryan moves his head side to side as if he's considering it) Seth: doesn't have'ta be a big to do (looks at Ryan, hopeful) (Ryan squints and then looks at Seth) Ryan: (gives in) alright (Seth smiles) alright fine as long as its small (points at Seth) Seth: it would have'ta be, you only know like us an Summer an- Ryan: Marissa an I are broken up Seth: (closes eyes) hm Ryan: I'm gonna do some homework Seth: ok (watches Ryan leave) I was totally gonna say Marissa (we see a close up of a phone in Ryan's hand. he's now in the Pool House, just staring down at it with his thumb near the buttons - we then see a cell phone being picked up by Marissa. she's at the lifeguard tower - back to Ryan looking down at the phone in his hand - Marissa closes her cell phone - Ryan throws the phone on his bed and walks away - Marissa stares sadly out at the ocean - Ryan looks out of the door near the pool with his arms folded) Theme Song - California By Phantom Planet Harbor school, next morning - we hear the sound of the bell and then see Marissa walking down the hall. Summer sees her Summer: (calls) Marissa (Marissa looks) wait up Marissa: hey Summer: hey (catches up) how you doin Marissa: fine Summer: called you last night Marissa: oh yeah (frowns) I was out sorry (touches Summers back) I went for a walk, to do some thinking Summer: hmm, thinking (looks at Marissa) (Marissa looks at her) about anything in particular Marissa: Summer, please don't ask if I'm gonna get back together with Ryan Summer: I'm just worried, you haven't been sleeping you've eaten like four peanuts an a banana in the past three days (Marissa looks down) (frowns) Coop you spend all of your time on that lifeguard stand staring out at the water like your a Naval widow Marissa: so we should get back together (shrugs) so I can have a good nights sleep Summer: or you can move on, just do something! Marissa: well, just so you know I did sleep better last night, and this morning I had pancakes for breakfast (smiles) Summer: (looks at Marissa) seriously Marissa: would I lie about pancakes (at this moment Marissa notices Ryan come into the hall further down, Ryan also sees her and quickly turns towards the notice board, attempting to cover his face with his hand. aww) Summer: noo, cause there is something that I have been meaning to talk to you about (Marissa looks shocked/upset at Ryan's attempt to hide) I was waiting for you to be a little less patient zero, its kind of about your mom (Marissa looks at her then glances in Ryan's direction) Marissa (turns around) Marissa: hey can we just talk about this later (starts to leave) alright, call me (leaves) Summer: (shakes head) unbelievable (we see the flyer that Ryan is pretending to read. it says "REGISTER NOW" at the top in white, "Lesbian Alliance" underneath in pink, "PRIDE RUN 2006" underneath that in black, "Big Sister 5k Run" underneath that in a reddy pink. there's more but those are the main bits. Summer walks over to Ryan and notices what he's pretending to read,lol) Summer: thinking of joining the Lesbian Alliance Ryan: (looks up) no Summer: she's gone (Ryan looks in the direction Marissa just was, the bell rings) when are you guys gonna talk you can't keep avoiding each other forever Ryan: (points) I gotta get ta class (Ryan leaves and Summer looks frustrated) CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - Kirsten is sitting at the end of the counter with papers in front of her, Sandy is getting organised for work Sandy: ok I'm off Kirsten: oh Sandy uh there was an idea that I wanted to run by you Sandy: (looks at Kirsten) shoot Kirsten: ...its just Ryan's birthday is a big deal...and I feel that one of his family should be here (Sandy looks at her) his actual family Sandy: ah, an since his fathers still a guest of the state an Treys a persona non grata for the next couple'a centuries Kirsten: that leaves his mom, now I know the last time Dawn was here it was a little bumpy Sandy: what you mean when she got drunk at casino night an knocked the craps table over (Kirsten closes her eyes) I'm not condemning her, I wouldn't want anything ta happen that might embarrass Ryan Kirsten: well neither do I but I think having her here would mean alot to him (shrugs) an if we both kept an eye out at the party Sandy: well, there's also the other little matter of finding her, she's been missing in action for over a year Kirsten: but I imagine that a person whose worked at a PD's office for fifteen years knows how to find someone (raises an eyebrow) Sandy: don't hold your breath, alright ill make some phone calls but just incase lets keep it a suprise (worried) I don't wanna get Ryan's hopes up (Kirsten nods, Sandy kisses her) CUT TO: Harbor school - Summer comes into the student lounge. Seth is already in there sitting on the couch reading Summer: we have a problem Seth: oooh yeah today's the day you were gonna tell Marissa about your parents (Summer sits) doin the bone dance (Summer hits him) how did that go Summer: don't ever say that again, I'm talking about Ryan an Marissa Seth: (shakes head) no we've gotten them back together before you remember, what thanks do we get they just broke up again Summer: well they need'a make a decision, either to get back together or to move on (frowns) cause right now they are frozen in that post break up (raises eyebrows) holy crap what did I do moment (holds hands out) (Seth frowns) an the longer it goes on for, the worse it is for everyone (hits Seth) so you need to do something (raises eyebrows) Seth: me (points to himself) Summer: (nods) yeah Seth: I'm in charge'a Ryan's birthday (holds up hand as if to say wish I could help,lol) Summer: wait Ryan's birthday is now, what is he thinking! Seth: I don't know he didn't exactly plan it, if you care so much why can't you handle this Summer: oh because I have'ta worry about Julie Cooper giving my dad VD an taking all of his money, so my plate is full (stands) Seth: fine...Dr R an Julie Cooper are doin the bone dance (Summer hits Seth upside the head as she walks passed the back of the couch,lol) CUT TO: Roberts house - we see a shoe lying on the floor next to a barefoot and then Julie slips her foot into it. we then see her put on the other shoe, she looks at her watch almost panicked Julie: oh my god it's almost one thirty (we then see Neil come in. its obvious what they were doing. Neil is putting his watch on) Neil: oh boy, my staff is already wondering where I disappear to during lunch every day Julie: (buttoning up top) I know but when else can we see each other except when the girls are at school Neil: (looks around) did you see what I did with my cell phone, I know I put it down when we...what're we doing, I thought we were gonna tell them Julie: well we were but...then we didn't Neil: well (fixes tie) I think its time Julie: I totally agree, ok we'll tell them we're dating (smiles, looks at her hair in a hand mirror) an then when they ask how serious it is (Neil looks at her) just it would be good to know (hopeful) Neil: yes, of course, after all (Julie nods) they wanna know how invested they should be Julie: if they should start making plans Neil: (puts on jacket) yes because it's a big step (Julie looks at Neil, hopeful) for them Julie: ok Neil I'm jus gonna come right out an say it (Neil looks at Julie then we hear his cell phone ring) Neil: (bends down) there you are (looks at phone) it's my nurse, I think we should wait a little while until we can be clear with them Julie: (almost disappointed) oh, y- that's just what I was gonna say (smiles) Neil: I'm gonna take this (Julie nods) yes Elaine, is my one thirty there (leaves the room) (Julie looks in Neil's direction and sighs) CUT TO: Johnny's house - Sadie opens the door and it's Ryan, of course. it always is,lol Sadie: Ryan Ryan: hey Sadie: hey, come in (motions) Ryan: (walks in) yeah I just thought id stop by and uh (stops when he sees something) Sadie: (closes door) ok wait wait wait let me just-let me just say (holds up hand) this is not the stage (looks at Ryan) at which to make judgments Ryan: (sighs) sure, sure, yeah (we see what Ryan is seeing, which is a huge hole in the wall that separates the kitchen from the lounge room) Sadie: well look I'm gonna make a cute little bar here an you can sit at with a window, right, its gonna be great (Sadie is now in the kitchen looking through the hole at Ryan) Ryan: mm-hmm, when's Gwen get back Sadie: well that's the thing she decided to stay in Ashlynn so she's putting the house on the market Ryan: (holds up hammer) want some help at the same time: Sadie: no nnn no you've done too much already Ryan: yes, yes yes yes yes no nnno it'll be good for me to be occupied, believe me Sadie: (touches Ryan's shoulder as he walks passed) so how is the whole Marissa break up thing going (looks at Ryan) Ryan: well we're broken up, you know we don't call each other, avoid each other at school its-its hard (nods) Sadie: so maybe you guys should talk (raises eyebrows) just so that it's not weird Ryan: (avoids eye contact) whether we give it another shot or...decide this is it either way...III need to know how I feel before we talk otherwise (shakes head) things have a way of happening Sadie: so you jus have'ta decide what you want Ryan: (looks at Sadie) well pretty much (looks down) Sadie: well while your deciding (points) can I recommend a little property destruction Ryan: (holds up hammer) yes you can CUT TO: Julie's trailer - Marissa comes inside, puts her bag down and opens the fridge. she takes a bottle out of the fridge and drinks, at the same time she notices the calendar with a date circled. it's the 19th and has an emphasised red circle around it with the words Ryan's Birthday! Marissa looks down and sighs, then we hear a bang outside and a bark, she looks out the window and we see Volchok start to run away. she goes out the door just as Volchok jumps on his motorbike Marissa: (yells) hey (Volchok takes off on his bike and Marissa watches him) CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan is sitting in a chair reading what appears to be a school related book, not entirely sure though. Seth comes in Seth: (sighs) hey man, you busy Ryan: would it matter Seth: not really (sits on the bed) (Ryan sighs and puts the book down) Seth: now in my capacity as birthday Captain I went ahead an...reserved the Bait Shop for Sunday Ryan: I guess you don't remember me saying small Seth: I did I chose to ignore it (raises eyebrows) d'you wanna see the invitations, the store made me print like a hundred, now I told them (shakes head) you only knew like four people (Ryan looks down thinking) but it was some kinda policy Ryan: give me one for Sadie Seth: Sadie huh, interesting Ryan: (takes invite) she's a friend Seth: ok, well what'do you wanna do with this (Seth holds out an envelope with the word "Marissa" on it. Seth looks at Ryan. Ryan looks at him) Ryan: ...you're the birthday general Seth: first of all I'm the birthday Captain (turns invite to face him) an the decision of whether to invite Marissa or not is way beyond my ? ? (Ryan looks at him) now I get it you invite her it looks like your tryin'a get back together, you don't invite her your sayin its over, I'm movin on (shakes head) I'm gonna hook up with all kinds'a random women, that's a tough call...sooo...you've got till Sunday (Seth drops the invite in Ryan's lap and leaves. Ryan picks it up and looks at it. we see the word Marissa up close. Ryan looks like he's torn as to what he should do) CUT TO: Roberts house - Summer and Seth are in Summers room together. Seth is stretched out on Summers bed while Summer paints her nails at her dressing table Seth: but turning eighteens all about the future right, so maybe I do a future theme, we have food from the future an drinks from the future Summer: sounds great Seth: yeah Summer: (looks at Seth) hey what'did Ryan say when you gave him Marissa's invitation Seth: nothin, just got this sort of confused wounded look Summer: how am I not spose'ta tell Marissa about the party when I see her, I can't keep a secret from Marissa Seth: an yet you somehow managed ta not tell her about your dad an her mom making sweet beautiful beautiful love (Summer gives him evil eyes) hi (smiles) Summer: (looks back at the mirror, scoffs) she's dealing with all that Ryan stuff now, she's not ready (raises eyebrows) ok an besides I've decided that I'm ok with it Seth: you are Summer: my dad was whistling this morning (looks at Seth, frowns) Julie Cooper makes my dad whistle, I cant tell him he cant have that, so, as long as they take it really slow(shrugs) I'm cool with it (Seth nods, we hear the doorbell. Summer looks at Seth) Seth: (motions) door Summer: mm-hmm Seth: mm-hmm Summer: mm-hmm (Seth looks at her) (motions with her head) Seth: hey why don't I get it (Summer smiles and blows on her nails - the next thing we see is Seth walking away from the door with a large envelope thing. Summer is now downstairs) Seth: hey, delivery guy just dropped this off for your dad (Seth hands the package to Summer and Summer immediately starts opening it,lol. she frowns) Seth: it's actually addressed ta...oh, ok (Summer sits down on the arm of a chair to read what it is) Summer: oh my god Seth: what is it (moves closer, takes it from Summer, reads) lovers cruise to Cabo five days six nights (Summer is frowning, clearly not happy) you the ocean an the one you love, it's got a good buffet (hands brochure back) Summer: I cannot believe this Seth: what, that he's taking Julie on a cruise Summer: he's gonna propose Seth: (confused) what're you talking about Summer: its what the man does, my mom my step monster he proposed to both of them on cruises, this is awful Seth: well d'you think you're over reacting a little bit, they just started dating Summer: my dad only dated my mom a week he met my step monster on the cruise an then proposed with a ring from the gift shop, the mans got a disease Seth: (sighs) well after dating Julie Cooper Summer: Marissa's gonna have'ta put her Ryan stuff on hold (stands) we gotta stop this CUT TO: Johnny's house - Ryan has some sort of tool in his hand and cuts out a beam. he has cute little safety glasses on and Sadie is standing behind him Sadie: I do respect a man who knows how to use power tools Ryan: ah yeah well you can thank my blue collar (pulls beam out) DNA (takes glasses off) actually uh, before I forget (Ryan wipes his dusty hand on his shirt and goes over to his jacket) Ryan: (holds out invite) here we go Sadie: what's this Ryan: uhh so tomorrows kinda my birthday Seth's throwing a party and its-its no big deal but Sadie: wow I can hardly process how much enthusiasm Ryan: mm Sadie: (looks down) but uh unfortunately (looks at Ryan) I don't think I can make it Ryan: oh Sadie: I mean id like to, especially after you did such a great job selling it (looks down) but um a friend of mines gonna be in LA tomorrow an I kinda promised Ryan: yeah no no (looks down) It's fine, I understand (waves it off) its no big deal (Ryan goes back over to the hole in the wall and Sadie notices something on the floor) Sadie: hey you uh you dropped something (picks it up) (Ryan looks) (reads) Marissa (looks at Ryan) Ryan: yeah I've ben, triyin'a decide whether or not to invite her Sadie: (realises) ooh right because if you invite her (nods) Ryan: yes Sadie: an if you don't Ryan: exactly (looks at Sadie) Sadie: right (looks at Ryan) Ryan: ...Seth thinks I'm in some sort of...break up limbo an I gotta make a clear choice one way or the other (Sadie looks at him then down) an that's his way of forcing the issue Sadie: cant say I disagree (Ryan looks at her) I was seeing this guy once an you know we loved each other but we couldn't seem to make it work an we also couldn't seem to break up (Ryan nods) so it just went on an on Ryan: so (shakes head) how'd it finally end Sadie: (looks down) ...Gwen called an she said Johnny died an...I left (Ryan nods) we should probably get back to work (Sadie throws the invite back to Ryan and heads back to the kitchen) Ryan: I'm jus gonna drill (Ryan looks down at both the invites in his hands) CUT TO: Julies trailer - we hear the familiar tune of the amazing season 1 song Paint The Silence by South. aww memories! we see Marissa putting a CD back in its case and then we hear a knock at the door Marissa: (calls) yeah come in (Summer goes inside) Marissa: hey Sum what's up Summer: hi, we need to talk (we can now see that Marissa is sitting on the couch with her laptop) Marissa: (sits forward) ok (stops song playing) Summer: what're you doing Marissa: remember when Ryan first came here an he spent the night in the model home Summer: (frowns) you mean the house that he burned down Marissa: accidentally, yes (puts laptop on the coffee table) well I made him a CD which got lost in the fire and he had always said he wished he had another copy Summer: so you're making him one for his birthday (frowns) that's so romantic Marissa: no just...thoughtful Summer: mm Coop your tapping inta core relationship mythology its romantic (squints) Marissa: you know anything I give him will just be read as (raises eyebrows) hey lets get back together, an if I don't give him anything it'll be...forget it, I'm over you, moving on(looks at Summer) Summer: ...well maybe that's what you both need right now, you know, a clear sign one way or the other Marissa: yeah I just...I don't wanna make the wrong decision (sighs) (Summer looks at her worried) so what'did you wanna talk about Summer: oh, well (sits next to Marissa) uh its just that um (Marissa looks at her) Seth is throwing um Ryan a birthday party tomorrow night at the Bait Shop an I wanted to invite you (raises eyebrows) Marissa: (looks at Summer)does Ryan know your inviting me Summer: (shakes head) not exactly Marissa: Summer, you know I can't go unless Ryan invites me himself Summer: I know, this sucks Marissa: (nods) yep, tell me about it (Summer nods, Marissa looks at Summer then turns the song back on. they both sit back on the couch, cross their legs and fold their arms) CUT TO: Cohen bedroom - we see a close up of Sandy packing some of his things into a suitcase. Kirsten sees him Kirsten: the day has finally come (sits on the bed) Sandy Cohen, is leaving me Sandy: (looks at Kirsten) sorry, no such luck, I found Ryan's mom (Kirsten listens) she's in Albuquerque Kirsten: New Mexico! (Sandy nods) well cant you just call her Sandy: (frowns) oooh it's not quite that simple I think she might be in some trouble Kirsten: (looks down) what kinda trouble Sandy: (zips up suitcase) how bout givin me a ride to the airport an ill tell ya on the way CUT TO: Roberts house - Julie is in the living room on her phone, the house appears to be empty except for her Julie: Neil, hi its me (sighs) I thought we were meeting...I guess not, well, call me when you get this, ok (hangs up) (Julie starts to leave just as Summer comes into the room, they almost bump into each other) Summer: oooh Julie: ooh, Summer hi Summer: (hand on chest, shocked) Julie, what a suprise um (folds arms) is my dad here Julie: (looks at Summer)...noo I don't think he is (nods) (Summer looks at her) but you are probably wondering how I let myself in here, you know I-It's really um a- a funny...story Summer: (matter of factly) I know about you an my dad your private hanky panky (shrugs) your driving range smooching, I know (Julie looks a mix of shock and worry/concern) Julie: oh Summer we were gonna tell you Summer: when (frowns) before or after you went on the cruise Julie: (confused) what cruise (Summer looks at Julie then hands her the brochure. Julie looks at it suprised) Julie: a lovers cruise to Cabo (Julie moves a little away from Summer as she reads it. Summer stays where she is but tries to watch Julie at the same time, you know stretching her neck and trying to see over Julies shoulder) Julie: an it leaves tomorrow night, w- I- I didn't know anything about this Summer I guess Neil wanted to suprise me (gasps) an it's first class, oh my gosh what a gentlemen (Summer is now over near Julie. she leans against something and folds her arms) Summer: hmm well he was gonna suprise you alright, did you know that he proposed to his past two wives on cruises Julie: (looks at Summer shocked) what! Summer: look I got nothing against you, in theory but my dad jus got out of a marriage (raises eyebrows) an I don't want him (shakes head) rushing back into another Julie: (head on the side) oh Summer I totally understand, we are nowhere near close to getting engaged, trust me Summer: are you serious (squints) Julie: yes of course (Julie and Summer look at each other for a few seconds) Julie: does Marissa know about this Summer: (shakes head) not yet Julie: well, I guess I better tell her then hmm (Summer nods, frowning) (excitedly) an buy me a new bikini (smiles) Summer: (looks up) awwwwkwaaaarrrrdddd (looks away) CUT TO: Albuquerque - we see Sandy talking to a guard Sandy: I'm here to see Dawn Atwood Guard: (motions) third one down Sandy: thankyou (the guard walks away and we see Dawn through some glass, we also hear the familiar sound of being buzzed in at a prison. Sandy goes through the door and goes over to Dawn) Sandy: hello Dawn Dawn: (looks up, sighs) Sandy, what're you doing here Sandy: well (sits) tomorrow is Ryan's eighteenth birthday an I'm here to invite you to the party (Dawn looks at him) but (Dawn nods and starts getting upset. Sandy watches her) Dawn: ...does Ryan know I'm in here Sandy: no (shakes head) an as far as I'm concerned he never has to (Dawn sniffs) so what happened Dawn: (shrugs, shakes head) the old story, I hooked up with this guy and uh lots'a drinkin an (laughs) the money ran out (sniffs) an then he did (looks at Sandy) Sandy: an then you started writing bad cheques (Dawn looks down) oh Dawn you could'a called us Dawn: (laughs) yeah I'm sorry Sandy: well, I'm gonna take a look at your file (Dawn nods) (stands) maybe there's somethin I can do Dawn: how is he Sandy: he's good (nods) you can be very proud (Dawn manages a small smile through the tears. Sandy leaves and Dawn watches him then looks back down, still upset) CUT TO: The pier - Marissa and Matt are sitting on a bench together Marissa: so, what's up Matt: well, Detective Warner stopped by the office, he's finally done with his investigation inta Johnny's death, I thought you might want this (Marissa takes it) id'a had Sandy do it but he's outta town so Marissa: (opens the folder)...the letter I wrote to Johnny (looks down) (Matt's cell phone rings) Matt: sorry (looks at who is calling) this is a client, I have'ta take this Marissa: ok Matt: (walks away) hi this is Matt (after a few seconds Marissa picks up the folder and looks at the burnt letter inside the zip lock bag. she lowers it and we see Volchok standing a little away from her, just watching. Marissa looks at him and then he looks away. Marissa stands up and starts walking over) Marissa: so what're you stalking me now Volchok: what're you talkin about Marissa: well tonight, yesterday what'do you want Volchok: (shrugs) nothin Marissa: ok (turns to leave) well then leave me alone Volchok: wait (grabs Marissa's arm) Marissa: let go of me! (pulls away) Volchok: relax ok (Marissa looks at him) Harper dyin an all I know you're goin through some weird stuff (Matt comes over) Matt: Marissa (Marissa & Volchok look) what's goin on, is this guy botherin you Volchok: who's this, your protector (nods) (Marissa looks from Volchok to Matt) Matt: I think you need'ta walk away Volchok: or what man, are you gonna hit me with your little cell phone there Officer: what's goin on (Volchok looks) is there a problem Matt: officer this uh this guy was bothering her I just stepped in Volchok: yes officer please would you save us Officer: alright coul- (to Volchok) shut it Volchok: come on man are you serious- Officer: I said shut it, tell you what you two take a walk (Volchok throws his head back as if to say "typical") (points) you, I wanna see some ID Matt: come on (Marissa looks at Volchok before walking away with Matt) Officer: now, I wanna see some ID (Volchok watches Marissa) CUT TO: Julie's trailer - Ryan is out the front and he has Marissa's invite in his hand. he stands on the verandah and looks from the invite to the door. after a few seconds he taps it on his hand and leaves CUT TO: The pool house, day of Ryan's 18th - Seth is standing in the doorway with 2 coffees in his hand. Ryan is getting ready to go out Seth: Ryan Atwood legal adult, happy birthday man (holds out coffee) Ryan: yeah, thanks Seth: so you feelin more mature, like you wanna go out an vote up a storm Ryan: mm (swallows) fightin the urge Seth: yeah, I imagine you've ben getting phone calls all morning (drinks) Ryan: yep, Sandy called from Albuquerque (sighs) Seth: mm-hmm Ryan: says he's gonna make it back, finish his business before the party (sits) Seth: ah-huh Ryan: yeah Seth: ah-huh (sits on the bed) anyone else Ryan: (putting on shoes) Marissa has not called an I'm not expecting her to, I didn't invite her to the party Seth: well the wisdom of years, I'm glad you finally made your decision (Ryan looks at him) at least it won't be awkward with Sadie being there Ryan: yyyeah she can't come Seth: well did you tell her Marissa's not going (Ryan frowns) she probably just wanted to give you space Ryan: no no she said she wasn't gonna come before I mentioned I might be inviting Marissa Seth: well she knew you hadn't made up your mind, tell her where you stand now, see if that changes her answer (Ryan looks at him)...and you might wanna mention (holds up finger) though I don't wanna over hype (stands, Ryan stands) there's gonna be a suprise at this party that (thinks) may make her head explode CUT TO: The diner - Julie and Marissa are there together in a booth Julie: (eats) you know, the short stack really is the perfect amount Marissa: (looks at Julie) look mom this is great an everything Julie: ok, I'm sorry, ill stop stalling. the truth is I asked you to breakfast for a reason (Marissa listens) for the past few months...(raises an eyebrow) I've ben seeing Neil Roberts Marissa: (frowns) Dr. Roberts...wait what have you had done (looks at Julie's chest area, lol) Julie: (looks down then at Marissa) not seeing that way, I mean seeing seeing (Marissa realises) although he probably would give me a couple freebies (grins) Marissa: oh my god, you've been dating Summers dad Julie: I was going to tell you but we thought we should wait until we knew if it was, you know, serious Marissa: and, is it (looks at Julie wide eyed) Julie: well he's taking me on a cruise to Cabo, in fact we leave tonight so yes it feels serious (smiles, breathes in) please tell me your ok with this Marissa: I mean it's a little weird...but yeah, I guess Julie: (relieved) oh honey thankyou for being supportive Marissa: yeah jus...Summers like my best friend (raises eyebrows) so don't (frowns)...do anything. Julie: ok, whatever that means (Marissa nods) so you go and ill pay la cuenta (Marissa looks at her) that's Spanish, I bought these tapes yesterday to impress Neil Marissa: that's great mom I'm happy for you (stands) Julie: ok, go (motions) flee flee (Marissa leaves and Julie watches her) CUT TO: Albuquerque jail - we see Sandy's reflection in the glass, he's watching Dawn being released. a female officer hands her a pen and she signs something then goes out to where Sandy is Dawn: Sandy I still don't understand how you did this Sandy: I made some calls, the charges are dropped, but in exchange your gonna have to enroll yourself in a substance abuse program an make full restitution to the people you defrauded Dawn: well I-I I don't have the money for that Sandy: I took care of it, an you don't owe me anything all you have'ta do is go to your sons birthday party, the plane leaves at five Dawn: (unsure) Sandy I...I don't know (teary) Sandy: sure you do, your his mother, an he is gonna wanna see you, come on Dawn: (closes eyes)...ok um I-I I gotta take a shower, I gotta change my clothes Sandy: (looks at watch) alright well my hotel is nearby (Dawn looks at him) I think you have time CUT TO: Johnny's house - Ryan puts some tools away and closes the toolbox lid. Sadie walks over to Ryan with a smile and her hands behind her back. Ryan stands up when she goes over Sadie: so, I got you something Ryan: oh, you didn't have'ta do that (Sadie holds out the present to Ryan) Ryan: well (we see that it is a hammer with a red decoration towards the top end) Sadie: (laughs) I wanted ta commemorate the time we've spent together Ryan: yeah I can see that (looks at hammer, hits it on his hand) Sadie: I um I engraved the handle myself Ryan: oh (reads) For Ryan Happy Eighteenth (follows the words with his finger) I'm so grateful for your friendship think of me every time you pound something (looks at Sadie) Sadie Sadie: (unsure) too mushy Ryan: (laughs) no it's just the right amount of mush (Sadie laughs) its great thankyou Sadie: ok well I'm gonna (Ryan smiles) I should probably go an an take a shower I have a...I have a long drive to LA (looks at Ryan) Ryan: (looks at Sadie)...jus so you know uh I didn't invite Marissa to the party (swallows) Sadie: ...oh Ryan: yeah I decided...that it wasn't what I wanted Sadie: ...ok Ryan: (softly) so Sadie: (looks down) Ryan um (looks at Ryan) the reason I cant come to your party (swallows) the friend I was meeting at LA um that's the guy I was seeing he jus wants to talk things over Ryan: so (frowns) what'does that mean Sadie: I don't know, I guess it means that I finally have'ta make a decision (Ryan looks at Sadie, Sadie looks at him) Ryan: (nods) ok well um see you later and uh (holds up hammer) thanks again Sadie: sure um, hey (Ryan looks) happy birthday (Sadie kisses Ryan on the cheek almost shyly and then leaves the room. Ryan grabs the toolbox and leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: The beach - Marissa walks over to a guy who looks like a surfy type Marissa: hi, uh excuse me (guy looks at her) (points) those guys over there they said that your friends with Volchok, I need to find him Guy: why, cause you two hooked up a few times, now he wont return your calls (Marissa smiles) take my advice forget it Marissa: it's not like that...I was friends with Johnny Harper (guy looks at her) an...it's complicated (frowns) Guy: ...well I haven't seen him in a while, since Harper died he's been acting weird (Marissa looks down) but you could try this guy he use'ta work for CUT TO: NB yacht club - Neil comes in and Julie is already sitting a table looking deliriously happy,lol Neil: hi Julie: (looks) hi Neil: (sits) I'm glad I got your message but isn't- isn't this a little Julie: public, I know, but I'm afraid the cats out of the bag (looks at Neil) the girls know Neil: (shocked) what, how Julie: I don't know, Summer confronted me yesterday an then I had'ta tell Marissa Neil: how did they take it Julie: they were great, everything is-is, oh Neil I'm so sorry I know you wanted this to be a suprise but I am just too (laughs) excited I would love to go to Cabo with you Neil: (clueless) Cabo Julie: Summer found the cruise tickets an then she told me, I hope I didn't ruin it by saying anything Neil: (looks down then at Julie) well I guess that'll teach me to try an be clever wont it Julie: so romantic, waiting till the day we leave to tell me Neil: yeah that's right we leave tonight (Julie nods excitedly) it's pretty romantic Julie: (holds Neil's hand) this is just what we need (Neil nods) if you hadn't planned it id swear it was fate Neil: well maybe it is (smiles) Julie: (touched, almost teary) oh, look at me (fans face with her hands) I'm gonna go check my make up, after all I wanna be perfect for our first time in public (Julie stands and goes to walk away but stops behind Neil. Neil takes a drink and as soon as he puts the glass down Julie tips him to the side and kisses him for a good few seconds, it's very steamy and the people around them definitely take notice. Julie walks away pleased with herself and Neil holds his drink up to a couple that turned to look at them,lol) CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - stuck to the corkboard on the fridge is Ryan's birthday invite. it is a bluey black with "RYAN'S" in a creamy yellow, then underneath that is "EIGHTEENTH" in smaller writing, then "BIRTHDAY" and "BASH" in the bigger writing. in the right hand corner there is a picture of Ryan and on top of that is "AT THE BAIT SHOP 8:00PM. Ryan takes a bottle of water from the fridge and Kirsten comes in Kirsten: oh, hey Ryan: hey Kirsten: how'd it go at your friends house Ryan: good good we stopped early she had to get to LA (drinks) Kirsten: oh I'm sorry I'm not gonna meet her tonight, Seth said that you decided not to invite Marissa Ryan: (swallows) yeah Kirsten: well that must'a been tough, was she ok when you told her (Ryan looks at her) oh please tell me that you talked to her Ryan: (shakes head) well I thought... Kirsten: you thought that she'd figure it out when she didn't get the invitation, Ryan she's ben apart of your life for two years (Ryan looks as though he's thinking. Seth comes in) Seth: hey, there you are (Ryan looks over at him) we're gonna go head down to the Bait Shop an set up Ryan: ok uh let me take a shower Seth: (looks at Ryan) no, no it's your birthday, your not liftin a finger Kirsten: an you don't wanna spoil the suprise (Ryan looks at her) that Seth has for you Seth: that's right (Ryan looks at him) take a good look at your head cause in a few hours (Seth motions an explosion with his hands either side of his head and mouths "boom") Seth: (points) don't you be late (Seth leaves and Kirsten goes to follow him but stops near Ryan) Kirsten: think about what I said (Ryan nods) your eighteen, its time to be an adult (Ryan looks at Kirsten then looks down. Kirsten leaves) CUT TO: Hotel room in Albuquerque - we hear a knock and then Sandy's voice. we are seeing the room from the inside and it appears empty Sandy: (calls) hey Dawn, its me (opens door) hey come on we gotta go if we're gonna make the plane (Sandy walks in and looks around. he sees an envelope sitting on a chest at the end of the bed with the word "Ryan" hand written on it) Sandy: (frowns) oh Dawn (Sandy picks up the envelope and looks at it) CUT TO: Julie's trailer - we see the bottom half of Ryan, from about his wrist down and he's holding Marissa's invite in his hand, he knocks on the door Ryan: (knocks, calls) Marissa (Ryan opens the door and goes inside. it appears to be empty. Ryan looks around for a few seconds then goes to put the invite down but as he does he notices the CD, with Happy 18th Ryan written on it in black marker sitting on top of other CDs. Ryan frowns then he looks over at a photo of himself and Marissa when they were younger, I'm pretty sure its the same one he has/had at the pool house where Kaitlin said they were like the perfect couple. they are standing near the water and look so happy together! aww) CUT TO: A job site - we see Volchoks motorbike and then Marissa walks passed it. we then see a huge Mc Mansion which is being worked on. Marissa walks up the drive and a man in work overalls walks over to her Guy: need some help Marissa: yeah I'm uh looking for Kevin Volchok Guy: (points) inside, back there (Marissa nods and then looks at the house) Guy: you ok Marissa: ...the house just (shrugs) looks familiar Guy: Mc Mansions, they all look the same to me (Marissa smiles and starts heading over to the entrance. we can hear power tools being used in the background. the shot changes and we see the entrance from inside looking out just as Marissa comes in, we then see the view she is seeing which is straight out onto a pool, Marissa frowns, we see a grey scale flashback of the empty pool that Seth skateboarded in, in 102. then it disappears and we see a close up of Marissa's almost confused face) Volchok: who's stalkin who now (Marissa looks up. Volchok is upstairs looking down at Marissa) Marissa: I wanted ta talk to you (goes up the stairs) Volchok: my boss is outside if you came to get me fired (puts bucket down) Marissa: I just wanted ta say sorry, Matt was being over protective Volchok: Matt, new boyfriend, yeah he was a real bad ass that one Marissa: he's not my boyfriend (shrugs) look I jus came to say sorry Volchok: an you did (puts unlit smoke in his mouth) so now what Marissa: (scoffs) you know for once I actually thought you were gonna be nice Volchok: (lights smoke) that's pretty stupid Marissa: (nods) obviously (Marissa goes to leave but stops when she hears the boss' voice) Guy: Volchok, what'd I tell you about smokin in here, place already burned down once (Volchok nods. Marissa suddenly starts to realise where she is) Volchok: yeah yeah yeah (Marissa moves closer to the banister and looks down to the bottom level. at this point the familiar sound of Paint The Silence By South begins. we see another grey scale flashback, it's of young Marissa and Ryan together down stairs near some scaffolding in none other than the model home) Marissa: you want him to stay here we then see a close up of Marissa's face, she looks a little thrown, we see another flashback this time of Marissa walking into the model home from just before and then it changes to a grey scale flashback of when they first pulled up, we also hear Seth Seth: this was supposed to be a model home we see another flashback, this time of Ryan, Marissa and Seth actually inside when they first arrived. Ryan has a little hand flashlight and Marissa has food in her hands, the flashback ends and we see Marissa looking down then over at the pool and also hear younger Marissa's voice Marissa: look I haven't told anybody about it another fashback, we see Seth skateboarding in the empty pool while Ryan and Marissa sit on the edge together, eating and drinking Ryan: I can keep a secret (smiles) (Marissa smiles) we then see Ryan sitting on the couch in Julies trailer, he's listening to the model home mix that Marissa re made for him. he sits back and looks as though he's thinking - back to the model home, Marissa moves away from the edge and looks in the other direction. we see Ryan close his eyes and i think this is what Ryan starts to remember, it flashes back to the moment that Marissa gave Ryan the model home mix originally, Marissa smiles and Ryan takes the CD then looks at her. we then see Seth, Ryan and Marissa looking around the model home with flashlights. Ryan: I still don't know if it's a good idea for me to stick around or not we then see Marissa looking down towards the entrance with a blank expression, and hear younger Marissa's her voice Marissa: you should stay another flashback, this times its the scene where Marissa and Ryan over hear Jimmy and Kirsten talking, then we see Marissa walking into the model home from just before. another flashback this time when Seth, Ryan and Marissa are about to first walk in, this changes to the moment where its just Ryan and Marissa alone, just before the room sets on fire Marissa: maybe I could spend the night (Ryan looks at her) Marissa starts to look faint as she remembers everything, we see another flashback, its of when Marissa ran out of the model home in tears, then we see when the room set on fire and Ryan and Luke were fighting each other Marissa looks upset and a little woozy, she closes her eyes then opens them again.. she leans against the railing and puts her hand on her mouth. Volchok notices Volchok: you alright Marissa: (frowns, breathes in) yeah, I'm fine (puts hand on head) we flash back to Ryan and Marissa alone together again Ryan: we're from two different worlds Marissa: (teary) that's not true Marissa has her hand on the back of head and doesn't look to good at all, the memories are definitely overwhelming and upsetting her. Volchok looks at her worried. we then see the same flashback as before Ryan: I'm not like you (Marissa looks at him) this next bit is in slow motion. Marissa's eyes begin to close and we hear Volchok faintly say are you ok then we see Marissa's hand slide off the railing as she faints and falls down the stairs, hard. we then see Ryan still listening to the CD in the trailer. then Marissa lying motionless on the stairs about halfway down, Volchok is near her) Volchok: (yells) get some help (we see Ryan again. he sits forward and turns the song off) CUT TO: Ryan's 18th birthday party - the first thing we see is a huge photo of Ryan dressed as a cowboy, it will make sense in a minute,lol. the camera zooms out to show us that Ryan and Seth are looking at it together Ryan: so what exactly was the thinking here (looks at Seth then back at his photo) Seth: well, turning eighteens all about assuming your adult identity right so I thought (points to himself) I would show you all the different avenues available to you Ryan: (raises eyebrows) because I might wanna be cowboy Seth: or my personal favourite but no less gay (points) fireman Ryan (we see another huge photo of Ryan dressed in firemen gear, he's holding an axe in one hand and a helmet in other. also in the background we can see another photo this time he is in what I think is a leotard with one hand triumphantly in the air, the other is holding a trophy of some sort and he has a medal around his neck Ryan: ah-huh Seth: yep, yep, yep (Ryan laughs)yepyepyepyepyep, yep an the best part (shakes head) this isn't even the real suprise Ryan: wow, cant wait for that (looks around) so (frowns) who are all these people anyway Seth: um at a certain point I jus needed to fill the room with bodies (holds hands out) you know what I mean (Ryan nods) you only invited like one person (raises eyebrows, points) who did not come by the way (Summer comes over) Summer: um hi (Ryan/Seth look) two homeless guys just got in a fight over the crudité (points) an knocked down scientist Ryan (puts hands on her hips) (Ryan nods) Seth: I met em outside Ralph's (moves head side to side) they seemed pretty cool (raises eyebrows) Ryan: (nods, unphased) yeah CUT TO: Julies trailer - Marissa and Volchok are together. they walk up onto the verandah, Marissa has one of her hands bandaged/splinted and she's holding an icepack to her head with the other Volchok: where are your keys Marissa: um it's not locked you jus have'ta (Volchok pulls on the door and it opens) Volchok: here give me your icepack (holds out hand) (Marissa gives the icepack to Volchok and then sits down at the table. we see Volchok inside through the little window) Marissa: you don't have'ta do this you know, the doctor said I was fine (Marissa looks at her hand that's bandaged, it looks very bruised and sore) Marissa: ...it was nice of you to take me to the hospital Volchok: yeah you uh you wanna tell me what happened out there Marissa: (scoffs) doubt you'd be interested (Volchok comes back out) Volchok: huh (Volchok closes the door behind him and Marissa takes the icepack back) Marissa: well you know how that house burned down (Volchok sits)...I was there that night with Ryan an (sighs, raises eyebrows) it jus sort of all came back to me at once Volchok: (cold) yeah your right, I'm not interested (Marissa looks at him, Volchok looks at her almost coldly) Marissa: you know if you've got something to say now would be the time (Volchok scoffs and then goes to leave but stops just behind Marissa) Volchok: alright look (Marissa looks at him. Volchok leans against the trailer) Volchok: its just (shakes head) you know when your mom will say like um why cant you be more like Timmy...well that was Harper (Marissa listens) an it pissed me off but I got it, you know things were things were supposed'ta work out for him...but...he died and it doesn't make sense (shrugs) so (Marissa looks at him, Volchok looks at her and then Marissa looks away. after a few seconds he walks over to her and takes her good hand and lays it palm up across her bandaged one, at the same time he pulls a pen out of his pocket) Marissa: what're you doing (we see a close up of Volchok writing on Marissa's hand) Volchok: giving you my number, just incase um somethin happens or (Marissa looks at Volchok then down a little then back at him) Volchok: I gotta go (Volchok quickly leaves and Marissa watches him then looks down at her hand. the next thing we see is Marissa coming inside. she puts the icepack down and then notices the invite Ryan left for her, she looks down at it and then looks as though she's thinking) CUT TO: Ryan's 18th birthday party - we see a group of people and then Summer Summer: (calls) dad (smiles) (Neil comes off the stairs just as Summer comes over) Neil: hey Summer Summer: hey Neil: there you are, hi Summer: hey Neil: Julie said she talked to you Summer: yeah, after I confronted her...(frowns) you know those tickets for the cruise were a shock Neil: yeah, to me too (Summer looks at him) between us I wasn't planning on taking Julie Summer: (confused) what, how many secret girlfriends d'you have Neil: hey (raises eyebrows) I bought those tickets a few months ago, it was my last attempt ta try to salvage things with your step mother I was- I was gonna propose to her all over again...I even had a ring Summer: (relieved) oh my god Neil: well maybe it's a sign, I mean I really do...care for Julie Summer: (nods, closes eyes) well I'm not gonna say that it isn't weird but, as long as she makes you happy I guess that's all that matters (smiles with her head on the side) Neil: thankyou (kisses Summers forehead and hugs her) I gotta run, the ship sails at midnight (on the stairs) are you an Marissa gonna be ok at the house Summer: (screws up face) oh yeah, of course, hey dad if you really do like her maybe don't wear the bathing suit you bought last year in Rome, just a thought (raises eyebrows) (Neil laughs - we are now with Sandy and Ryan, up the top) Sandy: well this looks like it has the hand'a Seth Cohen all over it Ryan: hey yeah (points) I- I kinda like this one (we see another huge photo near them. I think its Dr Ryan. he has a white coat on and what looks like a stethoscope on his shoulder) Sandy: happy birthday Ryan: hey (Sandy hugs Ryan, aww) Sandy: sorry I'm late Ryan: yeah, that's alright uh how'd things go in Albuquerque (Sandy puts his hand on Ryan's shoulder and they walk over to the railing) Sandy: I'm gonna come clean with ya Ryan: yeah (looks at Sandy) Sandy: I went to see your mother (Ryan looks down) she wanted to make it here but she-she couldn't, she's glad your doin well an I told her she could be very very proud'a you(looks at Ryan) Ryan: ...she alright Sandy: (moves head side to side) well she's havin a bit of a hard time, but I know where she is (Ryan looks at him then away) so ill be able to check up on her Ryan: that's not your responsibility Sandy: well, as of today we may (looks at Ryan) no longer be your legal guardians...but you will always be part'a this family (Ryan looks at him) (smiles) an she sent you this (Ryan sighs. Sandy holds out the envelope and Ryan takes it. Sandy walks away and Ryan looks down at it, then holds it over the railing and spins it in his hand a few times. this fades to outside the front of the Bait Shop, the shot starts at the roof and gradually moves down, we see the sign that usually advertises the band thats playing now says "CLOSED FOR PRIVATE PARTY", then we see Ryan come outside and start to open the envelope. there is a small piece of paper inside that's folded in half, when he unfolds it there is a photo of a young Ryan standing in front of his mom, it seems like it was from the trip to the zoo when he was nine. we can see some of the writing on the letter. above the photo we can see "Dear Ryan" underneath is "I AM SO SORRY THAT" right down at the bottom underneath the photo we can just see "HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY" and underneath that is LOVE MOM". we see Ryan looking at the letter and then we see Marissa heading towards the Bait Shop. she is holding Ryan's CD in her good hand and she stops when she sees him out the front. she looks down at the CD then back over at Ryan, he's still reading the letter, we hear younger Ryan's voice Ryan: we're from two different worlds Marissa closes her eyes and then starts to turn away, obviously not ready to see him Ryan: get out of here Marissa folds her arms and walks away from the Bait Shop. we see Ryan again, but its side on this time and we also see a girl walking over to him, it's blurry for a few seconds but then when it focusses we can see that it's none other than Sadie) Sadie: (calls) hey (Ryan looks up, they move closer to each other) Ryan: thought you were in LA Sadie: I told him I couldn't make it (Ryan looks at her) (smiles) it felt like time to make a choice Ryan: ...glad you came (nods) (Sadie smiles. somehow they end up holding hands. because its dark I cant tell if Ryan holds his hand out to Sadie or if Sadie just takes it - back inside the party Kirsten and Sandy are standing near the bar together. Ryan and Sadie walk over to them holding hands) Ryan: hey, guys there's somebody id like you to meet Sadie, Sadie this is Sandy an Kirsten (Kirsten smiles) Sandy: (shakes Sadie's hand) any friend'a Ryan's, an it is so nice to know he has at least one here (Sadie laughs) Ryan: that's funny, I like that Kirsten: (shakes Sadie's hand) its nice to meet you Sadie: you too (to Ryan) so this is your family Ryan: yeah (looks from Kirsten to Sandy) this is them (smiles) (Sandy and Kirsten smile like the proud parents they are. Sandy also glances at Kirsten who is smiling lovingly at Ryan. aww) CUT TO: Roberts house - Julie and Neil are there together Julie: hey what'd you forget Neil: passport (holds up passport) never let me off the boat without it, why don't you grab the car wait for me there I'm gonna jus turn out the lights Julie: ok, uh Neil, I jus can't tell you how excited I am, about the trip and us Neil: I feel the same way (smiles) Julie: (smiles) ok (kisses Neil on the lips) ok (leaves) Neil: ill be right there (Neil watches Julie leave then pulls out a ring box, he opens it and looks down at the gorgeous ring and then looks up. he closes the box and we hear the sound of a zip being done up, I assume he put it in his luggage but we didn't actually see it. he picks up the little bit of luggage that's left, turns out the light and leaves) CUT TO: The lifeguard tower - we see a close up of Volchok Volchok: so you called (we then see Marissa sitting against the tower staring out at the ocean, like usual, she nods then looks down sadly. Volchok is standing at the bottom of the ramp just looking up at Marissa. after a few seconds Marissa looks up at him) Marissa: well will you sit with me at least (Volchok slightly nods then walks up the ramp and sits down next to Marissa. he unscrews the lid on his flask and Marissa looks over. Volchok holds it out to her and this time Marissa drinks, Marissa hands it back to Volchok and he takes a drink as well) CUT TO: Ryan's 18th birthday party - Seth is on stage at the mic Seth: excuse me may I have everyone's attention please, as we all know or as a few of us know today is Ryan Atwood's eighteenth birthday (we see Ryan and Sadie standing together, next to Ryan we can see half of Kirsten and next to Sadie most of Summer. we can hear Sandy whistling, Summer goes whoo, and then we see Sandy, Kirsten, Sadie and Summer all clapping for him, unfortunately no one else in the room makes a sound but Ryan's family more than makes up for it, aww. Ryan smiles, almost embarrassed. the rest of the crowd looks around as if to say what's going on) Seth: thankyou that was really...touching, um so to help celebrate we have a tribute to his favourite band (Ryan raises his eyebrows, suprised) please take it away (Seth comes down off the stage just as Cobra Verde begin singing on stage I've been waiting for a girl like you. Ryan frowns when he hears what the song is, you'll see why in a minute,lol. Summer sort of makes a "not bad" expression. Sadie smiles at Ryan. Sandy and Kirsten smile. Seth walks over to everyone definitely proud of himself,lol) Seth: awesome suprise or what man Ryan: (nods) yeah Seth: I figured couldn't get the real Journey but a Journey tribute band (puts head on the side) next best thing Ryan: yeah its pretty amazing thankyou (goes to shake Seth's hand) Seth: no let's do it (holds up both hands in the air) like this Ryan: alright Seth: for you anything (smiles) (Ryan and Seth do their high hi fives, aww) Ryan: oh thanks dude Seth: (smiles) alright Ryan: ok Seth: (holds up finger) if you'll excuse me (Seth holds his hand out to Summer and they head off to dance together. Sandy takes Kirsten's hand and they do the same. Sadie and Ryan are now alone together. Ryan grins and then sighs) Sadie: you do know this is a Foreigner song right Ryan: yeah Sadie: ok (nods) (we see some of the band performing on stage then we see Summer and Seth dancing together. Seth has his arms around Summers waist and Summer has hers on Seth's shoulders) Summer: I didn't know Journey sang this song Seth: they don't, I got a Foreigner cover band instead, there about ten times cooler than Journey (nods) (we see Sandy and Kirsten dancing together now, they aren't doing the romantic slow dance thing they are both really getting into it. Sandy has his hands in the air moving to the music and Kirsten is in front of him moving around herself, we can see Ryan and Sadie together in the foreground and then we see them close up. they are doing the romantic slow dance thing. Sadie has her head on Ryan's shoulder and Ryan is holding Sadie's hand up near his shoulder, his other hand is on the small of her back. Kirsten and Sandy are also now dancing in each others arms, aww. this changes to a shot of Neil and Julie in the car together, they look at each other and smile, and we can also see they are holding hands. aww)	Plan: A: Ryan; Q: Who struggles with whether to invite Marissa to his birthday? A: Sandy; Q: Who decides if Ryan should invite one of his family members to his birthday? A: one; Q: How many of Ryan's family members does Sandy decide to invite to his birthday? A: their relationship; Q: What do Neil and Julie decide to tell Marissa and Summer about? A: Volchok; Q: Who tries to become involved in Marissa's life? Summary: Ryan struggles whether to invite Marissa to his birthday or not, while Sandy decides if he should invite one of Ryan's family members. Neil and Julie decide to tell Marissa and Summer about their relationship. Volchok tries to become involved in Marissa's life.
INT. - SOMEONE'S APARTMENT - DAY [title card: Greenwich Village, Present Day] [A lesbian couple sleeps in bed. Outside, sounds of the city can be heard - traffic, police sirens, horns honking. Closeup of a couple of small, ancient, Central American statuettes of demons sitting on a table.] [Someone is banging on the door. One of the women, Tess, gets up out of bed and slips some clothes on before heading to the door. As she walks, she bumps into the table and knocks over one of the statuettes. She picks it up and goes to the door.] Tess: (opens door) Hey, Helen. Helen: Stacy never came home. Tess: (sighs) You got a wild one on your hands, Helen, you knew that going in. Helen: You didn't run into her at the Boiler Room? Tess: No. I never saw her tonight. Helen: What's that? Tess: (looks at statuette) Oh. I picked it up at that estate auction. I think it's a Jamacoaque from Ecuador, about 500 A.D., some minor demon like... Abraxas, or Forcas, or something... Helen: Whatever. [Helen's P.O.V., trying to look past Tess, into her apartment.] Tess: Listen, don't stress out about Stacy, you know how she is. She probably went to another party... [Stacy, still in bed, sits up and listens.] Tess: ... and is passed out on someone's couch. Helen: Well, what if something happened to her? Tess: Oh, I'm sure she's fine. Helen: I'm waiting a few more hours, then I'm going to the police. [Helen leaves. The woman closes the door and goes back to bed.] Stacy: Who was that? Tess: Your girlfriend. [Stacy laughs. They kiss.] [main titles.] INTERSTITIAL - SCENES OF L.A. [A residential street lined with palm trees.] INT. - TIM & JENNY'S HOUSE - DAY [Jenny walks to the back, where Tim is sitting at a table working on some papers. Jenny has on a lot of makeup.] Jenny: Hey. What're you doing here? Tim: Live here, last time I checked. Jenny: I thought that you had practice. Tim: Oh, Randy's taking the practice... I'm trying to... map out a study schedule for Trish. If she doesn't pass Physics, she can't compete in the PAC-Tens next month, so... (looks up at Jenny) Wow. You look fantastic. Jenny: Really? Tim: Where are you going? Jenny: (grabbing jacket) I'm, I'm just... going to The Planet, gonna go write. I need the change of environment. So, I'll see you later. Tim: You know what? That's a great idea. I'm going to come with you. I gotta get out of the house. [Tim gathers up his things. Jenny looks disappointed.] EXT. - DANA'S APARTMENT - DAY [A really nice, big, L.A.-type place in the hills.] INT. - DANA'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY [Lara and Dana are in bed. Dana has her head on Lara's stomach. Lara pets Dana's hair.] Lara: It's nothing to be ashamed of. It happens, Dana. Dana: It's never happened to me. Lara: (smiling) It's a perfectly natural thing. It doesn't change the way I feel about you. Or how much pleasure you gave me. [Dana groans and whimpers, and hides under the covers. Mr. Piddles the cat, sitting at the foot of the bed, meows.] INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY [Tina is standing at the counter, eating a variety of things - pickles, olives, bread, and something that might be squid. Bette comes up behind her, putting her jacket on.] Bette: Ew! What is that? Tina: Sandwich. Want some? Bette: Pass. [Bette reaches over the table to pick up her briefcase, then goes to kiss Tina, who is stuffing something in her mouth.] Bette: Bye hon - ew. That is disgusting. [Bette takes off without the goodbye kiss.] Tina: (mouth full) Bye babe. Bette: Bye. EXT. - THE PLANET - DAY [A worker cleans up one of the patio tables. People are sitting around, enjoying the weather.] INT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Music plays in the background. Tim and Jenny sit at a table together. Tim is solely focused on his papers; Jenny stares at Marina, who's behind the counter several feet away serving customers.] [Jenny doodles on her paper, and glances back up at Marina, who's talking to a customer. Jenny goes back to doodling, then looks up again, this time at Tim. Tim is oblivious. Jenny's focus shifts back to Marina. Marina is now staring back at Jenny.] [Marina turns and heads to the bathroom. Jenny watches her, hesitates, then gets up.] Jenny: I'll be right back. [Tim continues to work.] INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY [Alice pulls a huge box out of a paper bag and goes to sit down at the table with Tina, who is still eating.] Alice: I can't believe you can buy these things in bulk. It's so weird. [Alice opens the box.] Tina: Oh, my god. I'd have so much more respect for that box if it had more honest pictures. Like, some sobbing, infertile woman with a negative test stick in her hand. [Alice pulls out a single pregnancy test kit from the box. Tina snatches it from her.] Alice: (laughing) And on the other side, it could have a teenage girl with a positive one, about to hang herself. Tina: Yeah. (chuckles) Alice: Good. INT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Jenny makes her way through the back, to the bathroom. She walks to the first stall, where Marina stands, waiting on her. She goes in; Marina closes the stall door.] INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - DAY [Tina is on the toilet, peeing on a pregnancy test stick. Alice stands next to her.] Alice: How do you not pee on your hand? Tina: You just aim below the clit. Alice: Oh, really? Tina: Yeah. Where did you think pee came out of? Alice: I don't know, there's a lot going on down there. [Alice grabs the instruction pamphlet from the pregnancy test and reads.] Tina: This is my tenth early pregnancy test. In high school, I used to think you could get pregnant... [Tina flushes and goes to the sink.] Tina: ... from giving a guy a blow-job. Alice: I used to think you could get pregnant through your pants. Tina: Or touching the handle of the boys' bathroom. [Alice stands behind Tina, primping in the mirror over the sink.] Tina: Are you sure you want to go back to men? Alice: I'm positive. I've had enough drama and mind-fucks, and women are fcking crazy. Tina: (facetiously) Yeah, men are boring. Alice: Yeah, well bring it on, because I could use a little nice, uncomplicated, boring, boy-girl sx masquerading as love. It's fine with me. [Closeup of the pregnancy test stick. No results yet.] INT. - THE PLANET - BATHROOM [Marina and Jenny are standing against the stall, kissing feverishly. Jenny reaches her hand into Marina's skirt.] INT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Tim still sits at the table, working. After a moment, he checks his watch and looks around. He looks toward the bathroom door, then gets up.] INT. - THE PLANET - BATHROOM [Marina slips a hand into Jenny's skirt. Jenny starts to sigh.] INT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Tim heads for the bathroom.] INT. - THE PLANET - BATHROOM - DAY [Marina and Jenny are still at it. Suddenly, Tim walks in.] Tim: Jen? [Jenny and Marina stop kissing.] Jenny: Tim? Tim: You allright? [Marina smiles; Jenny covers her mouth.] Jenny: Yeah, I'm good. Tim: You sure? Jenny: Yeah. [Jenny exits the stall and closes the door behind her. She walks to a sink.] Jenny: Yeah, hey. I hate these unisex bathrooms. [Marina, still in the stall, smiles.] Jenny: You know? It's shocking to hear a man's voice, and they pee everywhere, it's just... [Tim moves in to kiss Jenny. Jenny gives him a quick smooch on the lips. Marina hears it and rolls her eyes.] Jenny: ... completely gross. Tim: I'll try and be considerate. [Tim heads to the stalls to go to the bathroom. He passes the one with Marina in it, going to the next one down.] INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY [Tina is sitting at the table, still eating. She reads the newspaper. Alice is elsewhere.] Tina: You know what? It makes me sick what this administration is doing to our environment. [Alice comes running into the kitchen with the pregnancy test stick in her hand.] Alice: Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Tina! (shows Tina the test) It's positive! Tina: What? Oh... oh, my god! Alice: Oh my god! Tina: I'm pregnant. [Tina gets up and hugs Alice. They jump around, screaming and giggling.] Alice: You did it, you did it, you did it, you did it! Tina: Oh, my god! I'm pregnant! Oh, my god! Alice: You did it! (hugs Tina) I'm so happy for you! Tina: (holding up food in her hands) Oh, my god, look, I'm a cliché, I'm sitting here stuffing my face! [Alice squeals happily. Kit walks up to the back door a couple of feet away.] Kit: Hey guys! Alice: Oh, god, you scared me. Kit, c'mere! C'mere! [Kit steps inside.] Alice: Tina's pregnant. Tina: We just found out, just this second. Look! [Tina shows Kit the test stick.] Kit: Wow, oh, wow! [Alice and Tina hug Kit.] Kit: Oh, oh, I... I'm so happy for you! This is great! (hushed) Wow, this is groovy. Does Bette know? INT. - TIM & JENNY'S HOUSE - DAY [Tim is getting his papers together.] Tim: Jen, I have to run these study plans over to Trish. Jenny: Okay. That's fine. [The phone rings. Tim gets it.] Tim: (phone) Hello? Oh, hey. Uh, no, no she didn't mention that. [Tim walks to the kitchen, where Jenny is making food.] Tim: (phone) Really, yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway. You probably want to talk to Jenny. (hands the phone to Jenny) (whispering) The great Nick Barashkov. You sure you want it? Jenny: (smiling) (taking phone) Shut up, give me the phone. (phone) Hello? Hi. [Tim wanders off, looking a little jealous.] Jenny: (phone) How are you? Guess what. I killed Sarah Schuster. INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - DAY [Alice, Tina and Kit are sitting at the table. Kit is holding the test stick.] Tina: You promise? Kit: Well, you know I promise. Tina: I'm not worried about you. Alice: Yes, I promise, I won't tell Bette that we knew it before she knew. Kit: You're gonna have to be so good. You can't have any more fun, uh-uh! Tina: I know. No red meat, no additives, no Margaritas, wine, beer... and no Xanax! No matter how stressed-out I get. Alice: No more smack, no more crack, and no more blow. [They all laugh.] Tina: I'm going to do everything right. I'm going to be as together about this as Bette is to her work. [Alice looks at Kit; Kit smiles at Tina.] Tina: We're going to have a family. [Kit smiles and nods. Alice gathers up her keys and cell phone.] Tina: (chuckling) Oh, my god. Alice: (standing) Well, I have to go. So, I'll talk to you later. Lips are sealed, promise. [Alice leaves.] Kit: Tina, um, the reason I came is Bette told me there was a letter here for me? Tina: Oh! Yeah! That's right. I'm sorry. [Tina reaches into a stack of mail and pulls out a letter.] Tina: It's from David. [Tina holds the letter out. Kit gingerly accepts it. Kit smiles, but with sadness as she looks at the hand-addressed envelope.] Tina: You okay? Kit: Wow... yeah. I haven't heard from him in 5 years. [Kit gets up, goes to Tina, and hugs her.] Kit: Oh! You and Bette are gonna be great parents. Tina: Thanks, baby. Kit: Now, go on! Go call her before you explode! I'm outta here! [Tina chuckles at Kit as Kit leaves through the back door, letter in hand.] INT. - TIM & JENNY'S HOUSE - DAY [Jenny is on the phone with Nick. Tim is milling around in the kitchen, listening to her.] Jenny: (phone) I was completely done with her, so I just decided she needed to go. [Tim opens a bottle of Perrier, his eyes on Jenny.] Jenny: (phone) Oh, Nick, of course I value your opinion. You were the first! [Tim takes a drink from the bottle.] Jenny: (phone) You are? Okay. [Tim leaves the kitchen, sullen.] Jenny: (phone) Yes, I would love to! I would absa-absa-absolutely love to. (gasps) Ah! You have a tan? (laughs) Oh, my god, do you still look like George Hamilton? [Tim, in the other room, gets his stuff together and leaves.] EXT. - THE C.A.C. - DAY [The exterior of the California Arts Center.] Bette: (voice over) (phone) I understand your concerns. INT. - THE C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY [Bette is pacing at her desk, talking on the phone. Her assistant, James, runs in.] James: The, uh, Bill Viola went to Seattle, he could maybe do 2005. [Bette angrily waves a hand at him for interrupting her.] James: Tina. Still on line 3. Bette: (mouthing the words) Thank you. [James leaves. Bette paces, still on the phone.] Bette: (phone) Yes, great talking to you, too. Okay. Allright, bye. [Bette presses a button on her phone, and switches to line 3.] Bette: (frustrated) Baby, I cannot talk right now. INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY [Tina is making food, and still eating.] Tina: (phone) Okay, okay. I'll make it really quick. Just promise me that you'll come home for dinner tonight. I'm cooking. INT. - THE C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY Bette: (phone) That's gonna be a tough one to swing. [Bette takes a drink from her water bottle.] Tina: (phone) Please, it's really important. INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY Tina: (phone) I'll take care of you. I'll make it all better. Bette: (phone) The only way you can make it all better is if you come up with... INT. - THE C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY Bette: (phone) ... a show for my big, gaping spring slot. INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY [Tina looks downhearted.] INT. - THE C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY James: Sheldon Tomlin's on 2. Bette: fck Sheldon Tomlin! INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY Bette: (phone) Baby, I can't talk right now. INT. - THE C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY Bette: (phone) (irritated) I will try tonight, that is the best I can do. Okay? INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY Tina: Okay. Try. INT. - THE C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY Bette: (phone) (sighs) Okay. Bye. [Bette presses a button on her phone to hang up.] INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY [Tina hangs up the phone and regroups. She smiles.] INT. - THE C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY [Bette sighs heavily and puts her water bottle down. She presses a button and picks up line 2.] Bette: (phone) (fake pleasantries) Sheldon! Thank you so much for calling me back. Y - no, it's true. Well, you know, because a big institution, it's hard to compete. Look, um, the reason that I was calling you... (takes deep breath) What you're about to hear is the sound of me eating my words. Sheldon, I... would like to book "Impressions In Winter" and I hope that you don't hold it against me that... (listening) Franklin didn't tell me anything. (listening) That is absolutely not true. No, the C.A.C. is not in turmoil! ... (listening) No! Of course. You know, and nothing personal on my part, either. Okay. Bye. [Bette hangs up. James runs to her door.] James: Franklin headed this way. [He closes her office door.] Bette: (to self) (irritated) God, dammit, does it ever fcking stop? INT. - THE C.A.C. - HALLWAY OUTSIDE BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY [Franklin is coming down the hallway. James leans against Bette's door.] Franklin: She in? James: Uh, no, not yet. Franklin: I see. INT. - THE C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY [Bette is getting her jacket on. She listens at the door.] Franklin: (through door) Would you tell her that the board is convening for an unscheduled meeting tomorrow evening? INT. - THE C.A.C. - HALLWAY OUTSIDE BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY [Franklin leans close to Bette's door. He knows she's inside.] Franklin: And she would be well-advised to attend. [Bette opens the door.] Bette: Franklin! What are you doing talking to my door? (to James) I'm off to my Bernard Riddle meeting. (to Franklin) He's got half a million dollars he wants to lay on some museum, somewhere in Los Angeles that's doing anything remotely progressive. Franklin: Bernard Riddle? He's way out of your league, dear. Bette: He may be out of the C.A.C.s league, Franklin, but he's certainly not out of mine. [Bette winks at him, then ducks around the corner. Out of sight, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Franklin walks off.] INT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Dana and Shane are sitting at a table. Alice comes running up.] Alice: Okay, guys. I just saw the cutest guy I've ever seen in my life. [Nobody reacts. Alice looks at Dana, who's looking rather depressed.] Alice: What? Dana: I don't wanna talk about it. Alice: You don't want to talk about what? Something happen with you and Lara? Dana: No. I'm just never having sx again, that's all. [Alice sighs.] Shane: Easy, Dana, come on. Dana: I've never been more humiliated or embarrassed or ashamed of anything in my entire life. Alice: What, did she tie you up and leave you? Dana: No, nothing like that. Alice: Okay, okay. Yep. I have a friend, she went down on a girl, she was down there and she sneezed. [Shane chuckles.] Alice: Is that it? Dana: Gross. Alice: It wasn't me, it was a friend. So what, what what what. God, you're killing me. [Shane looks over at Dana.] Shane: Did you queef? Dana: Did I... see, I don't even know what that is. Is that... [Dana gives up and frowns as she leans over to whisper in Dana's ear. ] Alice: Okay, is that what happened? (to Shane) She female-ejaculated. Shane: Wow, Miss Dana. [Alice whistles. Dana looks around nervously.] Shane: Wow, this Lara must be a killer in bed, huh? Dana: Yeah... uh, yeah, yeah... she... that's a good thing? Alice: Dana! Women strive for this! They read books about the G-spot. They go to workshops. Oh, my god, you should be totally and utterly ecstatic. [An attractive young guy walks in their direction.] Alice: Oh, my god, there he is. Tell me he's not the cutest guy you've ever seen? [Shane looks over and sees the guy.] Shane: Oh, Lis! [Alice does a double-take.] Alice: (startled) (whispering, to Shane) She?! Shane: (to "Lisa") Hey! How are you doing? How are you? [Shane and the cute guy - "Lisa" - hug. She introduces her gang.] Shane: Um, these are my friends. This is Alice, and this is Dana. Guys, this is Lisa. Lisa: Hi. Alice: (taken aback) Lisa. Shane: (smiling) Yes, Lisa. [Alice's phone rings. Saved by the bell.] Alice: Oh, sh1t. Oh, god, it's my mom. Excuse me. (gets up) (phone) Hello, mother. What do you mean you're in L.A., wh - where are you? [Lisa sits between Shane and Dana. He watches Alice pacing a few feet away, on the phone to her mother.] Lisa: (re: Alice) (to Shane) Who is that? Shane: Uh-uh. Forget it, man. Lisa: Are you sure? Shane: Yeah, she, uh... well, she doesn't want to be a lesbian anymore. Lisa: Since when? Shane: Well, she was dating one of those hot-and-cold chicks, and... well, she got her heart completely busted. [All three watch Alice, who's still on the phone.] Alice: (phone) No! I - okay. I can't come because I have to go to w - I have to go to work (looks at watch) in, like, a half an hour. Lisa: (to Shane) It's a shame. Shane: (nods) Yeah. Lisa: That's no reason to swear off being a lesbian. Shane: I agree. Lisa: Maybe I can change her mind. [Dana furrows her brow at him.] Dana: Wait. I'm sorry, I don't think... I don't know if you've noticed, but you're a guy. (laughs) [Lisa sighs.] Shane: (nods) Lisa's a lesbian. Lisa: (to Dana) I'm a lesbian-identified man. [Dana sighs.] Lisa: I know. [Shane laughs. Alice is off the phone and comes back to the table and gets her keys and her drink.] Alice: Okay. Well, my mom's at The Plaza, there's been some sort of misunderstanding, and she's been here for 5 fcking days. Shane: Well, tell her I said hi. Alice: (sipping drink) Mm. Dana: Oh, hey, is she still with that stunt guy? Alice: Ask her. Lisa: (sincerely) Bye, Alice. [Alice stops. She smiles awkwardly at Lisa; Lisa smiles back sincerely.] Alice: Bye... It's... (points at cell phone) mom... she's totally (waves her finger around in a circle by her head and makes a whistling sound). Lisa: I totally understand. [Dana watches the exchange and grins at Shane. Shane raises an eyebrow.] Alice: (sipping drink) Mm. Okay guys, I'll see ya later. Shane: Bye, Al. Dana: Bye, Al. [Alice leaves. Dana raises her brows at Shane.] INT. - THE PLAZA HOTEL - DAY [Alice greets her mother, Lenore, with a hug.] Lenore: Sweetie! I was planning on calling you tomorrow. It's been so crazy. I'm here for the new Gerard Lichtman film and he's just been so demanding of my time. Did you know he has 5 Standard poodles? (laughs) Alice: Gerard Lichtman, wow, really. Lenore: (smiling) Yeah. Of course, they haven't set up the production offices yet, the financing is coming from some Australian beer conglomerate. So, I'm covering the hotel myself, which is fine, except that, uh, I'm having a slight... cash flow problem at the moment, and this manager's being a total dick. [A woman approaches Lenore.] Woman: (excited) Excuse me. I'm a huge fan of Dynasty. I loved you as Alexis! Lenore: Thank you. Actually, I was Blair in Empire Falls. [The woman frowns and walks off.] Lenore: (to Alice, re: woman) Moron. Alice: Mom. I have to go to work. So what do you want. Lenore: (pouts) Oh, Alice, please, can't you talk to him for me? He's exhausted me. Alice: (rolls eyes) Okay. Allright. Stay here and I will take care of this. [Alice walks up to the front desk to speak to the hotel manager. Lenore dials a number on her cell phone.] [Moments later - Alice is talking to the manager at the front desk.] Alice: So, all her credit cards were declined? Manager: I'm afraid so. We have to collect, she's over our limit. (smiles) Alice: Right. But she'll have it in like a day or two. She's here to be in a Gerard Lichtman film, so... Manager: Really! Alice: Yeah. Manager: I loved Blaunacht. It should've won the Oscar for Best Foreign Film. Alice: (smiling) Right. And you know, sometimes they start payroll after production started. I'm sure you guys deal with celebrities all the time. Manager: (smiling) I know. But, uh... she's at our limit. Alice: Right. (a beat) Okay. I mean, I can take care of this, it's not a problem. [Alice turns to see her mother, sitting on a chair and talking on the phone.] Alice: (to manager) So what are we looking at? Manager: Well, I have a printout of the bill. (hands printout to Alice) The total comes to five thousand, nine hundred sixty-eight, forty-two. (smiles) Alice: I'm s - I'm sorry, you said - (looks at bill) Manager: Five thousand, nine hundred sixty-eight, forty-two. Alice: (reading bill) Dollars. Manager: That be cash or credit card? [Alice flips through the bill which is several pages long. She's smiling, but irritated.] Alice: (reading bill) I'm sorry. How could anybody spend five thousand dollars on a hotel room. That doesn't - Manager: Well, the suite is $950 a night. Alice: Uh-huh. Manager: Uh, she was here for five days. There was room service, and I believe she made a few phone calls. (smiles) Alice: (blank stare) Right. (chuckles) (looks at bill) Oh, mother. INT. - ALICE'S CAR - DAY [Alice is her mother somewhere. Lenore is indifferent to Alice having to pay the hotel bill; Alice is peeved, but keeps a straight face.] Lenore: Well, obviously I'm good for the money! I'm not some sort of con-artist! As soon as this job comes through, just send me the bill. Alice: You could always hawk those pants. Lenore: Aren't they great? (looks at Alice) Are you being sarcastic? [Alice looks at her mother then looks back at the road.] INT. - TIM & JENNY'S HOUSE - NIGHT [Tim sits on the floor, deeply enthralled in a men's slalom sports program. Jenny lays on the couch, staring at the ceiling. After a moment she reaches out a hand and touches his shoulder. He's oblivious, so she gets up, sits on the floor next to him, and puts his arm around her shoulders. She snuggles up to him, smiling. ] Tim: So, uh... Nick is in town, huh? Jenny: Mm-hmm. Tim: (nods) (still watching TV) Mm. Jenny: It's the MLA convention. I told him that we were getting married and you know what he said? "Congratulations." Tim: (nods) (watching TV) Really? Jenny: You know what? Nick Barashkov is, like, this pretentious asshole who milks his minor literary stature by fcking these impressionable, young undergrads. Okay, you have to give me some more credit. Please? [Tim looks at Jenny. She kisses his shoulder, and he chuckles and goes back to watching the TV. She kisses his ear, then his cheek, but when she tries to kiss his lips, he moves away.] Tim: You know the men's slalom's on. I've been waiting all night for this. Jenny: Oh, I'm sorry. [Tim chuckles.] Jenny: Yeah. Okay. [Jenny kisses him anyway, then takes the remote from his hand and sets it on the floor.] Tim: (chuckling) Come on. [Jenny starts to kiss him all over, finally gaining his complete attention. She puts her hand on his crotch.] [Later -] [Tim and Jenny are having sx in front of the TV. The men's slalom is still on, but the sound is muted.] [Jenny doesn't seem to be into it. Tim stops and looks down at her.] Tim: Where are you? [Jenny looks up at him, but she sees Marina instead, smiling down at her.] Jenny: I'm right - I'm right here. Tim: You look like you're someplace else. Jenny: No, no, I'm right here. Tim: Really? Jenny: Yeah. C'mere. It's okay. [They kiss. They resume having sx.] INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - NIGHT [Bette arrives home. Tina is in the kitchen. Bette closes the door and turns to Tina as she walks in. Soft classical guitar music plays in the background.] Bette: I am fcking dying out there! These Philistines are just breaking my - [Bette sees the dinner table. It's set for three people. Tina watches her for a reaction, but Bette hasn't seen what's sitting on the third plate.] Bette: No. Tina... you invited someone to dinner? (takes off jacket) I've had the worst fcking day, the last thing on earth I want to do is to have to make con - [Bette stops. She sees something sitting on the third dinner plate. Her expression warms as she goes to pick it up. It's Tina's pregnancy test stick with the positive result. She looks at it. Tina watches her closely.] [Bette looks up, an immense smile on her face. Tina smiles. Bette puts down the test and walks into the kitchen. She kisses Tina.] Bette: (whispering, in between kisses) I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. [Bette and Tina smile at each other. Bette's eyes water.] Tina: I called Dr. Wilson and she said we should come in tomorrow, for an ultra-sound. (takes deep breath) (smiling) Just to confirm the results. Bette: I am sorry I was such an asshole. Tina: I'm sorry you had such a bad day. I'm sure everything is gonna be okay. Bette: Sure it will. Tina: Yeah. (smiling) We're gonna have a baby. Bette: (whispering) (smiles) (eyes watering) We are. We are. [Bette hugs Tina.] Bette: (whispering) Oh. I love you. Tina: (whispering) I love you, too. INT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Alice is at the counter, talking to Marina.] Marina: I tell you, you're good with your mama, you're good all over. Alice: (waves hand) Ai, ai, ai. Allright, just give me a triple shot. [Alice walks to the table where Shane and Dana sit. Shane is sipping an espresso. Dana looks unhappy.] Alice: You guys, my mother's living with me until her job starts and it's not fun. Shane: Wow. Alice: (to Dana, re: Dana) What's with Mopey Pants? What is it, Dana, are you having embarrassing multiple orgasms now? Dana: No. Just, Lara hasn't called me. And it's been, like... (checks Alice's watch) It's been 21 hours. Alice: Well, how'd you leave it? Dana: I left without saying anything. Alice: From your own apartment. Dana: I was really embarrassed, Alice! [Alice and Shane chuckle at her.] [Bette and Tina walk in. Bette is on the phone; Tina walks behind her.] Bette: (phone) James, I really don't think they're going to do that. You didn't do anything. If they do, I'll just make a bunch of phone calls and give you an amazing recommendation, okay? [Bette stands nearby as Tina greets Dana, Alice and Shane. Marina brings over some coffee and hands a cup to Alice, and a cup to Tina.] Dana: (to Tina) I like your scarf. Marina: (to Tina) And this is for the baby. I made it just for you. Congratulations. [Marina hugs Tina. Bette hears the conversation and frowns. Tina looks at her. She hangs up the phone and looks at Alice and the others.] Alice: (to Tina) Allright, I know. I was excited and just... congratulations. Shane: Seriously, guys, it's so amazing. Congrats. [Shane shakes Bette's hand.] Dana: Wait, wait, wait. What's happening? Why's everybody congratulating you guys? Marina: Tina's having a baby. They're pregnant! Dana: Oh, my god. Congratulations! [Dana and Tina hug.] Dana: Wow! Why am I always the last to know these things? Bette: It's okay, Dana. I was second-to-last. [Bette walks away, hurt. Everybody looks guilty. Tina goes after her. Just as Tina leaves, Lara walks into The Planet, carrying a single rose. Dana doesn't see her, but Alice and Shane do. They smile.] Shane: Check it out. [Dana turns to see Lara standing there. Lara holds the rose out to her.] Alice: (whispering) (to Dana) This is where you take the flower. [Dana rolls her eyes at Alice, then takes the rose and hugs Lara.] Dana: (to Lara) C'mere, I'm sorry. (smiles) Alice: (whispering) God. Shane: (smiling) So fcking cute. Alice: (whispering) Yuck. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Bette and Tina walk out to their car, parked at the curb.] Bette: Yeah, well you could have waited until she left to do the pregnancy test. Maybe you want Alice to be your Lamaze partner, too, and in fact, you know, really I'm surprised you didn't invite her to come with us for the ultra-sound. [Bette gets in the car, leaving Tina standing on the curb, jaw agape. Tina finally gets in.] [After a moment, Bette looks at Tina and realizes what she said.] Bette: I'm sorry. Tina: Look, I know how stressed you are. I'm trying to leave you alone. But sometimes I need someone to share a moment with. Is that really so wrong? Bette: (a beat) (sighs) No. It's sad. EXT. - POOL BUILDING - DAY [A big, really nice building, with a bunch of students milling around.] INT. - POOL BUILDING - POOL - DAY [Tim's and Randy's swimmers are practicing in the pool. Tim and Randy stand on the side, watching their stopwatches.] Randy: Allright, ladies, let's keep it moving! [Tim sees Trish running towards him, carrying her stuff in a bag over her shoulder.] Trish: I'm so sorry. I had to beg Durst to make up my physics exam. Tim: Turn right back around, Trish. You don't come to practice on time, don't bother coming. Trish: But, Tim, I was - [Randy watches the exchange.] Tim: What? You're grown-up, right? Why don't you take some responsibility? All these women are in the water already. Go on. [Trish walks away.] Randy: Tim, what the hell are you doing? Get her in the water, now! Tim: Randy, she's fcking up. We can't just let her set her own schedule - Randy: (angry) (calling out) Trish! Get back here! [Trish turns but decides to keep walking. Tim stares at Randy. Randy is really upset.] Randy: (to Tim) Go get her. [Tim jogs off to catch Trish.] Tim: Trish... EXT. - DOCTOR WILSON'S OFFICE BUILDING - DAY [A large, brick and glass building in a busy commercial district.] INT. - DOCTOR WILSON'S OFFICE BUILDING - EXAM ROOM - DAY [Tina lays on a hospital bed, with her feet in stirrups. Bette stands right next to her, holding her hand. They both look nervous. Bette checks her watch. Her phone starts to buzz in her pocket. She reaches in and pulls it out, and answers it.] Bette: (phone) What. [Doctor Wilson turns off some of the lights in the room.] Bette: (phone) Is that what you called to tell me? I can't hear that right now. Okay? [Doctor Wilson takes a seat at the foot of Tina's exam table.] Doctor Wilson: (to Tina) Are you ready? Tina: Yeah. Bette: (phone) Bye. [Bette hangs up and looks distraught. She sighs, then takes Tina's hand again. Doctor Wilson prepares the ultrasound machine.] Doctor Wilson: So, we'll just apply a little bit of lubricant here... and here we go. [Doctor Wilson inserts the ultrasound wand into Tina's vg1n. Tina looks up at the ceiling. Bette looks at her.] Doctor Wilson: You comfortable? [Tina nods.] Doctor Wilson: Allright. [Doctor Wilson presses a few buttons on the machine. An image shows on a monitor behind her.] Doctor Wilson: And there's your left ovary. And that looks like it would've been a follicle. And there... (pointing to monitor) You see that little heartbeat? [Bette leans over Tina to look closer. On the monitor is the image of the fetus, not more than a few weeks old. Its heart is clearly visible, thumping away.] Bette: Is that our baby? Doctor Wilson: That's your baby. Bette: (whispering) Oh, my god. Tina: (whispering) Oh, wow. [They both stare at the monitor, smiling.] Bette: (whispering) Oh, my god. INT. - ALICE'S CAR - DAY [Alice is driving her mother somewhere.] Lenore: Left on third. (a beat) Gerard is insisting on spending the entire afternoon with me. (chuckles) Last time I saw him, my god, we talked about everything: films that inspired him as a child in Berlin... my divorce.... [Alice looks at her mother.] Lenore: It was as if we'd known each other for years. (suddenly) Left, left! Alice: Mom! I've lived in this city my whole life, I know how to get to Pico! [Lenore huffs as she looks at her watch.] Lenore: Oh, god! Alice: We wouldn't have been late if you hadn't spent 15 minutes in the bathroom. [Lenore pulls out a compact and looks at herself.] Lenore: Do I look okay? Huh? Alice: (nodding) You look good, you look great. You do. You really do. [Lenore sighs and looks at Alice.] Lenore: You could take a little more time with your face, you know. You might have a girlfriend by now. [Alice starts banging on the car horn, at someone in the car ahead of them.] Alice: Mother fucker! Lenore: Asshole! Alice: God! Lenore: Jesus! [Alice pulls up to a building and stops.] Alice: Knock 'em dead, mom. Lenore: Don't worry so much. You're getting this big wrinkle. [Lenore points to the area between Alice's eyebrows. Alice quickly looks at herself in the rearview mirror.] Lenore: You're starting to look like Ernest Borgnine. [Lenore gets out of the car. Alice drives away. At the end of the street, however, she looks in her side mirror and sees Lenore running to the other side of the street. She puts the car into reverse.] INT. - FILM STUDIO OFFICES - HALLWAY - DAY [Alice walks into the offices for a small-time film studio. As she walks down the halls, lots of things are heard: people yelling, women screaming, monsters growling, machine guns firing, women talking, and a man laughing maniacally.] [All along the walls are movie posters: "Monastery of Evil," "Death Never Dies," "12 Steps To Hell."] INT. - FILM STUDIO OFFICES - RECEPTION AREA 1 - DAY [Alice walks into a reception area for a casting call. A dozen people sit around, reading a page from a script. A woman walks up to Alice, clipboard in hand.] Woman: Sign in at the front desk, they'll give you sides. [Alice picks up some papers off the front desk.] Alice: (to woman) What is this? Woman: It's an open call for the part of Mrs. Simons, alien 1, 2 and 3, and Ted's grandmother. Alice: (reading script) "Curse of the Romalians: Return to Gondor Part 2." Is this a Lichtman film? [The woman scrunches her brow.] Alice: Gerard Lichtman. The German director. Woman: The director is Matt Fried, he's 22 and he's from Pasadena. Plus, he's a total asshole. [The woman walks off to help someone else. Alice walks off, in search of her mother.] INT. - FILM STUDIO OFFICES - RECEPTION AREA 2 - DAY [Alice walks into another reception area. There are many more people in here, all reading from a script and rehearsing. Alice sees her mother sitting amongst them, diligently reciting her lines. Alice watches her for a moment, then walks away before she's seen.] INT. - POOL BUILDING - LOCKER ROOM - DAY [Tim is getting dressed. Randy comes in.] Randy: Hey, man. Can I talk to you for a second? Tim: About what? Trish? Randy: Yeah, well, look. Trish needs support right now. She doesn't need to be chewed out in front of the whole team. Tim: Yeah? Well, I don't, either. I'm just trying to do my job. Randy: You're right. Look, man, I'm sorry if I was harsh out there, but this is the reality of our situation. Without Trish Peverell, we shouldn't bother showing up next week. Tim: Really. Randy: And on that note, I got ahold of the physics midterm. She's gonna take it on Monday. [Randy holds the physics midterm out for Randy to take.] Tim: There's no way I'm just turning that test over to Trish. Randy: Would you relax? No one is talking about cheating. I'm talking about giving you the test so that you know how to tutor her. Know what direction to lead her in, that's all. C'mon. [Randy holds the midterm out for Tim to take. Tim sighs, then takes it.] Randy: You are a tense man, right now, you know that? Listen, why don't we go get a couple of beers, chill out a bit? It's on me. Tim: I can't. Randy: What, you and Jenny got plans? Tim: No. Jenny's going out to dinner with one of her old professors. Randy: Ah. Oh! (laughs) Wait. Not the blow-job one? The one she wrote that story about? Oh, hell no! You're letting your fiancée go out with a dude whose dick's been in her mouth? Tim: Don't fcking say that! [Randy puts up a hand, backing off. Tim sits down.] Tim: I don't own her, allright, she's her own woman. Randy: No, she's not. Not since she put that ring on her finger and said "yes." Man, you have got to put your foot down. Tim: No. The whole caveman thing, it's not my style. Randy: This ain't got nothin' to do with caveman, allright, this is about trust, pure and simple. You don't trust her, you don't marry her. I'm sorry to sound so harsh, man, but those are the rules of the game. Tim: I trust her. K? [Randy smiles and gets up, patting Tim on the shoulder.] Randy: Talk to you later, man, allright? INT. - C.A.C. - BOARDROOM - DAY [Bette walks into the board room and stops. Everyone is there already, and they're all silent. Franklin sits at the head of the table.] Franklin: Have a seat. [Bette goes to her chair at the opposite head of the table.] Bette: (joking) I'll forego the blindfold. [Nobody laughs. Bette sits.] Franklin: Miss Porter, as I'm sure you're aware, the position of director of this museum involves more than merely pulling collections out of hats. It involves image. It involves relationships. [Bette looks around nervously.] INT. - RESTAURANT [The restaurant is dark and romantic. Jenny and Nick sit at a table, close to each other, facing each other. Jazzy music plays in the background. From time to time, Nick leans forward and touches Jenny on the shoulder, face, etc.] Jenny: Okay, you have to tell me what you thought of my story. Nick: I'm so flattered that you value my opinion. Jenny: Nicolas, of course I value your opinion, you're the most brilliant, wonderfully smart... [Nick laughs.] Jenny: ... editor that I've ever had. Nick: (holding necktie) What do you think of the tie? Jenny: (smiling) I think it's fcking sleazy. Nick: (chuckles) Excellent. Well, your story, if you really want to know... Jenny: Yes. I do. Nick: ... I thought was utter bullshit from beginning to end. I mean, beautifully written... you always write exquisitely, but... (a beat) swans? Jenny: They mate for life. Nick: Sure, and they have brains the size of ping-pong balls. I mean, where's your edge, Jennifer? Where's your nihilistic passion? Where's the girl that masturbated in church? Jenny: Shhh. Nick: I mean... [Nick leans over to read a part of the story, which is sitting on the table.] Nick: "And he would've died for her, and she would've died for him." What's that about? [Jenny takes the story away from him.] Jenny: It's about fcking commitment, you know. Nick: Really. Jenny: Yes. Nick: Well, It reads like spackle. Now, I know you're marrying the coach, but if this is meant as a wedding present, I'd keep it between you and him. Because you're more complex than this. [Jenny stares at him. Nick sees something in her eyes.] Nick: What did you think, just then? Where did you go? Jenny: (shakes head) Nowhere. Nick: You're obfuscating. Jenny: (smiling) Nothing. [Nick takes Jenny's hands in his and leans closer. Jenny pays attention.] Nick: Listen, Jennifer. Commitment is dreary. It's not your thing. You have to... dig deeper. (leans back) Tell me something interesting. [Jenny smiles a little, and looks up.] Jenny: I've been doing these really terrible things. INT. - C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY [James is leaning over his desk, looking at something. Suddenly, he hears a woman and two yapping dogs coming down the hallway. It's Peggy Peabody, but he doesn't know her.] Peggy: Where the hell is the director's office?! This place is like a god-damned labyrinth. And moment I expect to run into the Minotaur! [James steps out into the hallway.] James: Hi. Can I help you? Peggy: Um, yes, well, you certainly look like a very capable young man. Which is fortunate since I'm rather at your mercy. I need to find Bette Porter or Xandra Rosenman. James: Well, they're both in a meeting (motions to door) Peggy: In there? Oh, good. Take them for a moment, would you please? Get them some more water. [Peggy hands him her dogs and is about to open the boardroom door.] James: Uh, you can't go in there! That's a board of director's meeting, ma'am! [James puts his hand on Peggy's shoulder to stop her. She turns to him.] Peggy: Get your hand off me if you want to go on living and breathing. [He removes his hand. Peggy throws open the boardroom doors.] INT. - C.A.C. - BOARDROOM - DAY Franklin: (startled) Peggy Peabody, wh - what are you doing here? Xandra: Peggy? Peggy: Xandra. I got your call. (to Franklin) What is this about Franklin firing Bette Porter? [Bette looks up at Peggy, then over to Franklin.] Peggy: Let me just say, Franklin... and anyone else who may be involved in this little cabal... [Peggy goes to stand next to Bette.] Peggy: ... if you fire Bette Porter, I'll have to reconsider lending my collection to the C.A.C. Miss Porter is far and away the most qualified person in Los Angeles to reside over an exhibit like "Provocations." Franklin: I - I thought "Provocations" was going through MOCA? Peggy: Well, it's not, Franklin, it's going to your up and coming little museum! [Peggy walks toward Franklin.] Peggy: But only on one condition. (to Bette) Ms. Porter. I'll need a guarantee from you that you will remain with the C.A.C. at least until "Provocations" moves on to the Walker in the summer. [Bette gives Franklin a smug smile. Franklin shifts nervously.] Bette: Well, I'm not in the position to - Franklin: Uh, Miss Porter has 6 months remaining on her contract, Peggy. (laughs) We have every intention of honoring it, despite what you may have heard about being fired. Peggy: Well, let's just forget about that, then. [Franklin nods.] Peggy: Do you have an option in the contract? Franklin: Of course we do. Uh, 18 months, I believe. Peggy: I suggest you exercise it here and now. [Bette smiles.] Peggy: By the time "Provocations" debuts at the C.A.C., Miss Porter will already have been wooed by every museum in the country. [Bette smiles at Peggy.] INT. - RESTAURANT Nick: Wow. That's interesting. You've fallen in love with a woman. Jenny: No, no, no, I don't know if it's love. It might be sort of like this, you know, (smiling) fantastic, sort of, like, demon possession sort of thing. [Nick looks surprised.] Jenny: Oh, stop it, don't look so shocked. Nick: I'm not shocked. I'm surprised, I'm excited... it's exotic. Jenny: Oh, shut up, you pervert. Nick: A demon possession. That's it, that's what you have to take and run with and when you write about - what's her name? Jenny: Marina. Nick: When you write about Marina, you must dig, you must delve, you must open up and eviscerate everything. (touches Jenny's face) You do your best work when you lay bare your remarkable emotions. INT. - TIM & JENNY'S HOUSE - NIGHT [Tim walks into the house and looks through the back door window. He doesn't see Jenny in the garage. He turns around and leaves.] INT. - NICK'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT [Nick is alone, fixing himself a drink. A knock on the door. He answers it. It's Tim and he doesn't look happy.] Nick: Coach. What a surprise. [Tim looks over Nick's shoulder]	Plan: A: Jenny; Q: Who is lying about being unfaithful? A: Nick; Q: Who is Jenny's old college professor? A: guest star Julian Sands; Q: Who played Nick? A: a fling; Q: What did Jenny have with Nick? A: whose opinion; Q: What does Jenny value about Nick? A: her latest work; Q: What makes Jenny seem less complex than she is? A: Jenny's infidelity; Q: What does Tim suspect? A: Alice; Q: Who discovers that Jenny was cheating with Marina? A: the truth; Q: What does Alice discover when she walks in on Jenny engaging in sexual acts with Marina? A: The Planet; Q: Where is Jenny's office? A: Peggy Peabody; Q: Who prevents Bette from getting fired by storming into a meeting and announcing that she will lend the Provocations collection to the museum? A: the Provocations collection; Q: What does Peggy Peabody offer to the museum to prevent Bette from being fired? A: Tina; Q: Who finally gets pregnant? A: Dana; Q: Who is ashamed of what happened on her first date with Lara? A: her vain and self-indulgent actress mother; Q: Who does Alice have to deal with? A: Anne Archer; Q: Who plays Lenore? A: her apartment; Q: Where does Alice's mother move after being evicted from her hotel suite? A: high profile movies; Q: What does Alice discover Lenore is not playing in? Summary: Jenny's old college professor Nick (guest star Julian Sands ) (with whom she had a fling and whose opinion she values) shows up and tries to convince her that she is more complex than her latest work makes her out to be. Tim begins to suspect Jenny's infidelity, as does Alice and others. However, Jenny outright lies to everyone by denying being unfaithful. Alice later discovers the truth when she walks in on Jenny engaging in sexual acts with Marina in her office at The Planet while Tim is looking for her and Alice covers for Jenny to prevent Tim from finding out and hurting his feelings. Unfortunately, this close call only makes Jenny even more reckless and unapologetic to her cheating with Marina. Meanwhile, Peggy Peabody prevents Bette from getting fired by storming into a meeting and announcing that she will lend the Provocations collection to the museum. Tina finally gets pregnant. Dana is ashamed about what happened on her first date with Lara. Elsewhere, Alice deals with her vain and self-indulgent actress mother, Lenore (guest star Anne Archer ), who moves into her apartment after being evicted from her hotel suite. But Alice soon discovers that Lenore is not playing in high profile movies as she claims to be.
[Gilbert's house] (John is in the kitchen, he closes the fridge. Katherine is here, she poses as Elena) John: You scared me Katherine: Sorry John: Is Jenna home? Katherine: She had to meet the fire chief about the building. She doesn't know the truth, they had covered that up John: Yeah I know, how's Jeremy? Katherine: Hold up in his room (We see Jeremy on his bed, he's unconscious) (Elena is on the porch, she's at the phone with Stefan) Elena: I looked everywhere Stefan: What do you think, someone stole it? Elena: Yeah, someone definitely took my stuff (Katherine and John are in the kitchen) John: Can I help? Katherine: Sure (Elena is still on the porch, at the phone with Stefan) Stefan: You want me to pick you out? Elena: I'm just gonna check on Jeremy before I go to the hospital, can you meet me there? Stefan: You bet Elena: Ok, I love you Stefan Stefan: I love you too (Katherine cuts John's fingers and pushes him against the sick) John: Katherine? (Her face changes) Katherine: Hello John, Goodbye John (She stabs him) (Elena enters the house) Elena: Jeremy? Are you up? (She hears noise in the kitchen and goes toward it. She sees John on the floor; he's alive but very hurt. She rushes over him. She calls 911 but Katherine is behind her) Elena: Hi I need an ambulance to 2104 Maple Street John: Behind you Elena: What? John: Behind you (She turns herself but Katherine's not behind her anymore. She takes the knife and goes in the hallway. Katherine passes behind her with super speed. Elena turns herself. Katherine is behind her again. She rushes on the door with super speed and gets out of the house. Elena is scared) Elena: Jeremy (She rushes over the stairs and goes in Jeremy's bedroom) Elena: Jeremy! Jeremy! (She finds him unconscious on his bed) Elena: Jeremy please wake up (He opens his eyes) (The police and the ambulance are here. They took John. Stefan arrives. They go in Jeremy's bedroom) Stefan: What happened? Elena: He said that Anna gave him her blood and then he took this pills and now... I mean he looks fine but so do you. I just... I don't know (Stefan looks at Jeremy and takes his face between his hands) Stefan: Look at me Jeremy: I'm fine okay? I feel exactly the same Elena: Should I call a paramedic? What should I do? (Stefan looks at Jeremy's eyes) Stefan: No, he's fine Jeremy: You mean I'm not a vampire? Damn it! Elena: Don't say that Jeremy! Jer, what do you want that? Jeremy: Did you hear about Anna, what happened to her tonight? She's dead Stefan: Jeremy, Jeremy. Come here, sit down (Jeremy sits down on the bed) Stefan: I'm sorry about Anne but it's very important that you listen to me right now. Every passing moment Anna's blood is leaving your system. If you try to kill yourself right now, you could really die (He slaps him) Stefan: Hey! Do you understand me? Elena: Stefan... Jeremy: Yeah, I understand Stefan: Good Elena: What about the pills that he took? Stefan: He didn't take enough to die so Anna's blood actually hilled him about (A policemen arrives) Policemen: Miss Gilbert? Elena: I'll be right there Stefan: You need to be at the hospital Elena: But... Stefan: No, no, no, I'll stay here with Jeremy Jeremy: No, I don't need a babysitter Elena: Yes, you do [Mystic Falls' hospital] (Matt is sitting alone, Bonnie arrives) Bonnie: How is Caroline? Matt: She's not good Bon Bonnie: What happened? Matt: We were driving and Tyler heard this noise and he got... Bonnie: A noise? Matt: He got this migraine or something and he lost control of the car and... I thought Caroline was fine and then... and then she wasn't so... (Sheriff Forbes is alone, Damon arrives) Damon: Liz, I came as soon as I get the message. Is she okay? Sheriff Forbes: She's in surgery, it's ... they're doing everything they can. I need your help Damon Damon: Sure, anything Liz Sheriff Forbes: Mayor Lockwood is dead. They thought he was a vampire. They put him in the basement Damon: Mayor Lockwood is a vampire? Sheriff Forbes: No, no. A mistake was made, they said he drops like the others when John's device when off but he... he couldn't have been a vampire, I've known him my whole life and know Carol Lockwood is gonna want answers and all I can think of right now is Caroline and... (She begins to cry) Damon: It's okay (He embraces her) (Elena arrives at the hospital, she's with Bonnie) Elena: How's Caroline? Bonnie: She's weak. They don't know if she's going to make it Elena: What? (Bonnie embraces Elena. Damon is near her, he looks at them) Elena: Is there something that we can do? Like a spell or something? Damon: She doesn't know how, do you? Bonnie: No, I don't Damon: No, you don't because it took Emily years to learn a spell like that Bonnie: Now I can take down a vampire, this spell was easy to learn Damon: I can give Caroline some blood Elena: No, no way Damon: No, just enough to heal her, she will be safe in the hospital and it will be out of her system in a day, she will be better Elena Elena: It's too risky, I can't agree to that Bonnie: Do it. This is Caroline. We can't let her die. Do it Damon: If I do this, you and me, call truce? Bonnie: No but you'll do it anyway, for Elena (Bonnie leaves. Elena and Damon are alone) Damon: I know this is probably the last thing you want to do right now but we should talk about what happened tonight Elena: Yeah, one of the tomb vampires has got into to house and almost killed John Damon: What? When? What are you talking about? After I left? Elena: You were there? Damon: Come on Elena you know I was Elena: When were you at the house? Damon: Really? Earlier, on the porch, we were talking, exposed our feelings, come on, we kissed Elena! Elena: Okay, I don't have time for this Damon Damon: If you want to forget what happened fine but I can't (Jenna arrives. Damon is going apart from them but listen) Jenna: Elena, I came as soon as I get you message. How is John? Elena: Where have you been? Jenna: At the fire department, I deferred a report. I told you earlier Elena: No, you didn't Jenna: Yes I did Elena: No, Jenna, you didn't Jenna: Yes I did (Damon understands that it was Katherine) Damon: Oh, you got to be kidding me [Gilbert's house] (Stefan is looking after Jeremy. He hears the front door. It's Katherine still posing as Elena. He goes down the stairs) Stefan: Hey! How was Caroline? Katherine: Not good (He embraces her) Katherine: Just what I needed (She tries to kiss him but he understands that it's not Elena? He throws her on the couch) Stefan: Katherine Katherine: I least I fooled one of you (He rushes over her and pushes her against the wall) Katherine: Feeling better? (He pushes her against another wall but someone is opening the front door. Katherine takes his arms and throws him on the floor and leaves. Elena and Damon enter the house. Stefan is on the floor but stands up immediately) Elena: Stefan? Stefan: What happened? Damon: Katherine happened (Damon and Stefan are in the kitchen) Damon: Did she say what she wanted? Stefan: No Damon: This women certainly knows how to make an entrance Stefan: She said she fooled one of us at least. What is that mean? Damon: She pretended to be Elena too when I showed up earlier tonight (Elena arrives) Elena: I told Jeremy, I can't lie to him anymore Stefan: Are you alright? Elena: No, I'm not alright. I thought that with all the tomb vampires gone things were getting better Stefan: I know, we all did Elena: Katherine was in this house, that means she's been invited in, what are we gonna do? Damon: Move Elena: Very helpful, thank you Damon: Katherine wants you dead, there's zero you can do about it, you will be dead but you're not. So clearly she has other plans Stefan: Right and we need to find out what those other plans are and not provoke her in the process. What happened tonight when you thought she was Elena? Damon: To risk another front line encroaching on your very crowded forehead ... We... kissed Elena: And you thought it was me? Stefan: What do you mean you kissed? Damon: You know, when two lips pucker and then (He feigns a kiss. Stefan rushes over him with his super speed but Damon is faster) Damon: Don't be obvious Stefan (Stefan goes toward him but Elena puts herself between them) Elena: Stefan wait, he kissed Katherine, not me (She looks at Damon) Elena: I wouldn't do that. We don't have time for this guys Stefan: Later Elena: John must know something. It has to be a reason why Katherine tried to kill him Damon: She's Katherine, she loves to play games and you're fooling yourself if you think you're going to find out what she's been up to before she wants you to know Stefan: No, actually Elena's right, John could know something threw Isobel. You mother, she was in touch with Katherine so maybe we can go to the hospital and talk Damon: I've got a better idea Elena: What's that? Damon: I'm just gonna ignore the bitch. See you Elena: Is that smart? Damon: If Katherine thinks she's been ignored it will low her out, she'll make a move Stefan: Yeah? And then what? Damon: Stake her; rip her head off, something poetic. We'll see [Mystic Falls' hospital] (Bonnie is talking with Matt) Bonnie: You've been here all night? Matt: Yeah, with the sheriff Bonnie: No one else? Matt: Stefan's brother Damon stopped by late last night Bonnie: How is Caroline today? Matt: See for yourself (They go on Caroline's room) Caroline: Jersey Shore's on (Bonnie embraces her) Caroline: Careful, still a little sore Bonnie: Sorry Caroline: its okay but they say I'm healing very quick Matt: My turn (He kisses her. Bonnie's crying) Caroline: Why are you crying? Bonnie: I'm just happy you're okay Caroline: I love you guys Bonnie: We love you (They embrace each other) [Lockwood's mansion] (Carol Lockwood is talking with Sheriff Forbes and Damon) Carol Lockwood: I want to know exactly who's responsible for killing my husband Sheriff Forbes: I'm looking into it but you have to be straight. Is there any reason Richard was affected by the vampire device? Carol Lockwood: Are you implying that he was one of them? Damon: No, no one's implying that Carol Lockwood: Your deputies screwed up, plain and simple which makes you responsible Damon: Carol... Sheriff Forbes: Your husband is the one who helped John Gilbert execute his idiot plan in the first place Damon: Liz... Carol Lockwood: Someone got my husband killed Damon: We're all in edge here, you've suffer a great loss, the whole town has. We have to stick together okay? Trust each other, we're gonna get through this (Tyler is outside, a man arrives) Tyler: So the black sheep returns Mason: Tyler? Tyler: Yeah Mason: What happened to you? In my mind you were twelve years old Tyler: Then that's two years older than the last time you saw me, Uncle Mason (They embrace each other) Mason: Good to see you again Tyler: It's good to see you too. Come on inside [Mystic Falls' hospital] (Stefan and Elena are going to see John) Stefan: Ready for this? (They enter in the room) Elena: John? (He opens his eyes and gets scared when he sees Elena) Elena: I'm Elena, I'm not Katherine Stefan: We know she did this to you Elena: We need to know why John: Where is she? Stefan: You tell us John: I don't know (He tries to sit down but Stefan stops him) Stefan: You're a little too weak to play tough guy, I want you to sit back and answer a few questions (Elena gives him his magical ring) Elena: Please, tell us why she's here. What does she want? Stefan: She'll try again; we can't help you if you don't confide in us John: In you? Stefan: In your daughter then John: My daughter should have put you a stake to your heart by now (He looks at Elena) John: I never spoke to her directly, she never trusted me (He looks at Stefan) John: So either kill me or get out because I can't stand the sight of you with my daughter Elena: You see the problem with such hatred? It's gonna get you killed (She goes out of the room. Stefan is alone with John. He rushes over John and strangles him) Stefan: You may be okay with dying but I have a better plan for you (He cuts his wrist and puts it in John's mouth and makes him drink his blood) Stefan: You know, with my blood in your system all I have to do is kill you. Now take my advice... Leave town, Elena doesn't want you here. You've got about 24 hours before the blood leaves your system, that's enough time to disappear or I swear to god I will turn you into a vampire and I will watch you hate yourself more than you already do (He releases him) Stefan: The clock starts now (He leaves the room) [Lockwood's mansion] (Damon is watching Mason and Carol. He talks with Sheriff Lockwood) Damon: Who's the guy with Carol? Sheriff Forbes: It's the mayor's younger brother, Mason Lockwood Damon: Is he in the council? Like John Gilbert when he rolled in? Sheriff Forbes: He's nothing like John. For one, he's not an ass. He's not a believer either. He wants nothing to do with the council. He's too preoccupied finding the perfect wave Damon: Thanks see you (Katherine arrives at the mansion. Tyler intercepts her) Tyler: Hey Elena, thanks for coming, come on in (She enters) [Mystic Falls' hospital] (Elena and Stefan are outside) Elena: Hey, I just have to swim by home to pick up Jenna and Jeremy so we can go to the Lockwood's. How did you leave him there, John? Stefan: I... I asked him to leave town Elena: Asked? You threatened him Stefan: Yeah I threatened him Elena: Good. I want him gone, Stefan. I know that I shouldn't feel that way but I don't want someone like that in my life or Jeremy's life Stefan: I know (They embrace each other) Elena: So what now? Stefan: Now... I need to go find Damon Elena: Please Stefan, don't fight with him Stefan: No Elena, he tried to kiss you I'm not okay with that Elena: That's not the problem, Katherine is. She's already messing with both of your heads and Damon is not stable when it comes to her. The last thing we need is to make things worse [Lockwood's mansion] (Damon and Bonnie are talking) Bonnie: Did you know the Gilbert device affected Tyler Lockwood? Damon: Well, I know mayor in Bonnie: Don't you want to know why? Damon: Yes Bonnie, I would love to know why. A non-vampire was tortured by the vampire torture device that you let John Gilbert use against us. Speaking of your guilt how is Caroline? Bonnie: Much better Damon: You're welcome Bonnie: No, you're welcome Damon: Why am I welcome? Bonnie: You live to see another day Damon: No good deal goes unpunished with you, doesn't? Bonnie: Doesn't undue the bad. I know what you are Damon, you might have Elena and the sheriff and everybody else fooled but not me. One wrong move and I'm gonna take you out Damon: Now you need to stop with the witches' brood. You're starting to believe your own press (She looks at Damon in the eyes, his head his hurting him. He holds his head) Bonnie: I'm sorry, you were saying? (She goes out and sees Elena but in reality it's Katherine posing as Elena) Bonnie: Oh my god! Damon drives me crazy. He's walking around like he's some kind of hero for healing Caroline when it's his fault all of this happened in the first place Katherine: I'm sorry Bonnie. What Damon's done is just awful Bonnie: Okay, better. Hateful Damon moment over (Bonnie touches her; she feels that it's a vampire) Bonnie: I've got to find Tyler and Give my respects. I'll be back (She goes in another room and calls Elena) Elena: Allo? Bonnie: Elena? Where are you? Elena: Bonnie, I know I'm late. I'm getting in the car now. I'll be here in 5 (She hangs up. She turns herself, Katherine is here) Katherine: We haven't officially met, I'm Katherine Bonnie: I know who you are Katherine: Of course you do. You're the best friend right? I've been putting all the pieces of Elena's life together. Isobel told me it was a bit of a puzzle. I do know who Jenna and Jeremy are and I met that delicious ex-boyfriend Matt, he was sweet on Caroline, and then there's you, the vampire-hating Bennett witch. Did I do good? (Bonnie tries to get out but Katherine is faster than her. Bonnie looks at her and tries to hurt her with her powers. Katherine feigns to be hurt) Katherine: I've been around a long time Bonnie; you have to do better than that (She catches Bonnie by the neck and pushes her against the wall. Her face changes, Bonnie open the doors with her powers) Katherine: Nice Stefan: Katherine Katherine: Stefan Stefan: Leave her alone Katherine: Okay (She releases her and leaves the room. Stefan looks at Bonnie and follows Katherine) Stefan: What are you doing here? Katherine: After the way you treated me last night, I thought that a public place would be less violent Stefan: You're taking this a little far don't you think? Elena could walk in at any moment Katherine: But that's part of the fun Stefan. Damon's here, somewhere, I've been avoiding him (Matt arrives) Matt: Hey guys Katherine: Hey Matt. I heard that Caroline is doing much better. Her recovery was practically miraculous, you must be so relieved Matt: I am. Thanks Elena (He leaves) Katherine: Oh! His eyes are so blue! Stefan: You need to leave now Katherine: You're hurting my feelings Stefan. Damon was much happier to see me but he thought I was your girlfriend so... Stefan: Katherine, I'm not doing this with you Katherine: Okay, how we don't have a couple's fight in front of all of your friends? Walk with me Stefan: Just tell me what you're doing here Katherine: Maybe I missed you. Is that an acceptable reason? Stefan: What game are you playing? Katherine: Why, you want to play with me? Stefan: I don't know, how can I play if I don't know the rules? Katherine: No rules Stefan. Don't you remember? No rules (They leave. Elena, Jenna and Jeremy arrive) Jenna: Looks like the whole town has turned out Elena: Yeah. Well he is... he was the mayor Jeremy: Why are they doing this for the funeral? Jenna: That's what people do. The Lockwood's were here for us when we went through this. It'll be quick; you drop off the food and pay respects and go Jeremy: In and out? It sounds like a plan (Elena sees Damon) Elena: You guys go ahead, I'll be right there okay? (She goes toward Damon) Elena: Hey, how are you doing? Damon: Great Elena. Walking on sunshine, thanks for asking Elena: Damon Damon: Elena Elena: We should be able to talk about this. Damon, we're close enough now. I really want to know how you are doing Damon: I kissed you; I thought you kissed me back... Doppelganger hijinks ensued... How do you think I'm doing? Elena: I think you're hurt Damon: No, I don't get hurt, Elena Elena: No, you don't admit that you get hurt. You get angry and cover that up and then you do something stupid Damon: You're scared. You think Katherine is gonna send me off the depend don't you? I don't need her for that. (He begins to leave but stops) Damon: You know... why this is such a surprise that I would kiss you? Elena: That's not a surprise. I'm surprised that you thought I would kiss you back Damon: Now I'm hurt (Bonnie arrives) Bonnie: Elena! Elena: Bonnie, what happened ? (Jeremy goes into a room. Tyler is there, drinking) Jeremy: Sorry, I was just looking for the... Tyler: Bathroom is down the hall Jeremy: Hey look... I'm sorry about your dad Tyler: Today has been a big day as sorry from people who don't really give a crap Jeremy: I remember when my dad died; I had a house full of strangers telling me how a great guy he was. Anyway, I know how hard all this is Tyler: The difference is in your case it was true. My dad was a dick Jeremy: Yeah, yeah he was Tyler: I found this on his desk (He holds the flask to Jeremy, he hesitates) Tyler: He won't mind, he's dead Jeremy: Yeah, you know what, sure (He takes the flask. Mason arrives) Mason: Hey, what's going on here Tyler? Tyler: Nothing, nothing (He looks at Jeremy) Mason: You don't have somewhere else to be? (Jeremy gives him the flask and leaves. Mason drinks and gives the flask to Tyler) (Katherine and Stefan are outside, walking) Katherine: The Lockwood's have a lot more land than they used to. These actions from the tomb vampires built them quite a fortune Stefan: Yeah, why did you want them dead? You're the one who turned most of them Katherine: There's nothing more annoying than revengeful vampire Stefan. Just ask John Gilbert Stefan: You haven't changed at all don't you? Katherine: But you have. You're stronger, meaner, sexy Stefan: Don't flirt with me Katherine. I'm not Damon; I haven't spent one hundred and forty five years obsessed with you Katherine: Yeah, based on your choice of woman I'd say otherwise. Although I admit it does bother me that you're falling in love with someone else Stefan: I was never in love with you, Katherine. You compelled me so none of my feelings were real Katherine: Believe what you want Stefan but I know the truth and deep down so do you Stefan: The truth? Well the truth is, you're the same lying, selfish, manipulative bitch that you've always been. So, whatever it is that brought you here, why don't you just get down with it and leave town? Because if you don't, I will hunt you down and I will rip your heart out Katherine: You want to know why I'm here Stefan? I came back for you Stefan: Well the problem Katherine is that I hate you (She takes an iron stem and stabs him with it) Katherine: You hate me uh? That sound like the beginning of a love story Stefan, not the end of one (She takes off the stem and leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] (Elena and Stefan are sitting on a bench, she's washing his wound) Elena: You're gonna be okay? Stefan: Yeah, it will heal Elena: It's not what I meant Stefan: I was trying to figure her out. I was playing along and let her get to me (Damon arrives) Damon: I tried to track her but she's gone. Ouch, cover up Fabio. You have a crazy ex on the loess (He looks at Elena) Damon: You better watch out, looks like Katherine is trying to steal your guy Stefan: it's not what's happening Damon: Isn't it? I mean it's only fair since I went after your girl Elena: I'm gonna go check on Jenna and Jeremy. Let me know when you guys are done (She leaves) Damon: So what's gonna be uh? Fight to the death? Go ahead, make your threat, stake your claim Stefan: I'm not gonna fight you Damon: Why? I'd fight me Stefan: Katherine is gonna try to play us against each other, you do know that right? Damon: Brother, don't you worry, our bound is unbreakable Stefan: We need to stay united against her. So yes, as much as I would like to kill you, I'm not gonna fight you Damon: I kissed Elena Stefan: Because you feel something for her, because you actually care and I'm not gonna let Katherine coming here and destroy that part of you that is finally, after all of this time, willing to feel something. She will try to break you, she will try to break us and how we respond to that will define us. It's our choice. So no, I'm not gonna fight you (He looks at Damon and leaves) [Gilbert's house] (John is preparing his luggage. Jeremy arrives) John: Jeremy Jeremy: What are you doing here? John: I'm packing, leaving Jeremy: So you figured you kill all you evil vampires and then you leave town? John: Not all but enough. For now. Can you tell Elena I say goodbye? Jeremy: Why don't you tell her yourself? John: You know Jeremy, I was taught to hate them, the vampires. That's what I know; that's what you father knew Jeremy: My father would have seen things differently John: No, he may have done things differently but there's no other way to see it Jeremy: That ring on your finger, the one's that supposed to protect you, that was my father's right? John: Yeah Jeremy: Then why didn't it protect him, why is he still dead? John: What happened to your parents wasn't supernatural, it was an accident. There's nothing that can save us from that Jeremy: I wonder what he'd think of all this, of me John: He would think that you're just too young. You're still finding yourself but you are a Gilbert and you've been exposed to this town's darkest secrets and with that come responsibility Jeremy: I don't believe in that family legacy stuff John: Sooner or later you'll have to [Lockwood's mansion] (Tyler is in his father's office. He looks at a picture of him and his parents and breaks it against the desk and breaks all the things on the desk. His mother arrives) Carol Lockwood: Tyler! What are you doing? Tyler: I hate him Carol Lockwood: Oh, don't say that (She touches him but he pushes her) Tyler: Let go of me! (Mason arrives rushes over him and pushes him against the floor) Tyler: Let go of me! Mason: Tyler! Hey! Tyler: I said let go of me! Mason: Tyler! Look at me, look at me. Calm down, settle down Carol Lockwood: Oh god [Salvatore's house] (He's in the living room, drinking. Katherine is here) Damon: Very brave of you to come here Katherine: I wanted to say goodbye Damon: Leaving so soon? Katherine: I know when I'm not wanted Damon: Don't pout; it's not attractive about a woman of your age Katherine: Ouch. What, no goodbyes kiss? Damon: What if I kill you instead? What are you doing here? Katherine: Nostalgia, curiosity etc. Damon: I like better the enigmatic Katherine. What are you up to? Katherine: Trust me Damon, when I'm up to something you'll know it. Come on, kiss me or kill me. Which will it be Damon? We both know that you're only capable of one (She tries to kiss him but he turns his head. She pushes him on the floor) Katherine: My sweet, innocent Damon (He strangles her and puts himself above her, on the floor. They kiss, she opens his shirt, and they kiss again) Damon: Okay, brief pause. I have a question. Answer it and its back to fireworks and rockets wire glare. Answer it right and I'll forget the last one hundred and forty five years that I spent missing you. I'll forget how much I loved you, I'll forget everything and we could start over. This could be our defining moment 'cause we have the time, it's the beauty of eternity (He touches her face and her hair) Damon: I just need the truth, just once Katherine: Stop, I already know the question and its answer. The truth is... I've never loved you, it was always Stefan (She looks at him and leaves) [Gilbert's house] (Elena goes out of the bathroom and goes in her bedroom. Damon is sitting on her bed) Elena: Oh god, you scared me Damon: I'm just doing my part, the neighborhood watch Elena: Thanks for looking out for us, for me Damon: That's me, the trusted bodyguard, calm in crisis Elena: You've been drinking? And you're upset, that's not a good combination Damon: No I'm not upset. Upset is an emotion specific to those who care Elena: Come on Damon. That's a lie, you care Damon: You are surprise that I thought you would kiss me back? You can't imagine that I believe you would want to? Elena: Damon... Damon: No, all we've been doing here means something. You are the liar Elena. There is something going on between the two of us and you know it (He gets up and goes toward her) Damon: And you're lying to me, you're lying to Stefan and most of all you're lying to yourself. I can prove it Elena: No (He kisses her) Elena: Damon don't! What's wrong with you? Damon: Am I lying about this? Elena: Stop, you're better than this, come on! Damon: That's where you're wrong (He tries to kiss her again) Elena: No, no Damon. I care about you. Listen to me, I care about you. I do but... I love Stefan, it's always gonna be Stefan (Jeremy arrives) Jeremy: Elena, what's going on in here? Elena: Nothing Jeremy, it's okay, just go back to bed Damon: No it's not okay Elena (He looks at Jeremy and then at Elena) Damon: He wants to be a vampire (He pushes Jeremy against the wall) Elena: No Damon stop it! (Damon is strangling Jeremy) Damon: You want to turn off the pain? It's the easiest thing in the world. The part of you that cares just goes away, all you have to do is flip the switch and snatch! (He kills him) Elena: No! (She rushes over Jeremy and cries. Damon looks at her and leaves. She sees John's magical ring on Jeremy's finger) [Lockwood's mansion] (Tyler is sitting on the couch, Mason arrives) Mason: Your mom's out. I think she propped a couple of pills Tyler: I didn't mean to freak her out. I don't know why I get like this Mason: It's the curse of being a Lockwood Tyler: Is this how you get the shill gene? Mason: I didn't. I've just learned how to manage it Tyler: I don't want to be like this anymore Mason: None of us do. That's why it's a curse Ty [Gilbert's house] (Elena is on the floor with Jeremy, she has her brother in her arms. Stefan is here too) Stefan: He saw the ring that's why he did it, he knew Elena: He didn't see the ring Stefan: It's Katherine. She got on his skin, she undead everything that was good about him Elena: There's nothing good about him. Stefan, not anymore. He just decided what he wants. He just don't want to feel, he wants to be hated, it's just easier that way. He got his wish, (We see Damon, at the Salvatore's throwing a glass against the chimney) Elena: I hate him; Stefan Stefan: I know (He kisses her on the shoulder. Jeremy wakes up. Stefan takes his face and looks in his eyes) Elena: Stefan, is he okay? Stefan: He's okay Jeremy: he killed me, Damon killed me (Elena embraces him and smiles) Elena: Oh god [Mystic Falls' hospital] (Caroline is on the bed, sleeping. She wakes up and sees Katherine) Caroline: Elena? Katherine: Hey Caroline Caroline: What are you doing here? Katherine: My name is Katherine. I was hoping you could get the Salvatore's brothers a message for me Caroline: What are you talking about? What message? Katherine: Game on (She takes a pillow and puts it on Caroline's face, kills her and leaves the room)	Plan: A: Uncle; Q: Who is John? A: Jeremy; Q: Who did Damon kill in the first season? A: a vampire; Q: What did Jeremy not transition into? A: enough drugs; Q: What did Jeremy not take to die? A: Anna's blood; Q: What overcame Jeremy's overdose? A: Damon; Q: Who snaps Jeremy's neck? A: Damon's blood; Q: What does Caroline need to survive? A: Katherine; Q: Who smothers Caroline with a pillow? A: Tyler; Q: Who is surprised when Mason Lockwood arrives in town to console him? A: Mason Lockwood; Q: Who is Tyler's uncle? A: Stefan; Q: Who does Elena love? A: Jeremy's neck; Q: What does Damon snap to get Elena to kiss him? A: a Gilbert ring; Q: What is Jeremy wearing that prevents him from dying? A: the hospital; Q: Where does Katherine go to smother Caroline? A: the Salvatore brothers; Q: Who does Caroline leave a message for before she dies? Summary: Picking up where the first season left off, Elena arrives home to discover the fates of Uncle John and Jeremy. Jeremy has not transitioned into a vampire, because he did not take enough drugs to die and Anna's blood overcame the overdose. Damon, Bonnie, and Elena agree that Caroline needs Damon's blood to survive. Damon realizes that Katherine has returned and is impersonating Elena. Tyler is surprised when his uncle, Mason Lockwood, arrives in town to console him. Katherine and Damon nearly sleep together, but Katherine tells Damon, "it will always be Stefan". Distraught, Damon goes to see Elena, who resists his attempt to kiss her. Angry that Elena also loves Stefan, Damon snaps Jeremy's neck. Jeremy survives because he is wearing a Gilbert ring, which protects the wearer from death from supernatural causes. Katherine goes to the hospital and smothers Caroline with a pillow. Before Caroline dies, Katherine gives her a message for the Salvatore brothers: "Game on."

Subsets and Splits