 
 LOCK TABLES `crisis_text` WRITE;
 /*!40000 ALTER TABLE `crisis_text` DISABLE KEYS */;
-INSERT INTO `crisis_text` VALUES (1,1,'CPU recently cut funding to termination stamping, leaving only one worker stamping all vouchers: ##CIT-Y-1##.'),(2,1,'A few daycycles ago, he lost his ME card in the pneumatic tubes, making him unable to leave the room or get help.'),(3,1,'Diligently, he kept stamping in the hope someone would come find him, he died from lack of water yesterdaycycle.'),(4,1,'No vouchers have been authorised in a day, meaning no authorised terminations have taken place.'),(5,2,'Due to a large string of timetable failures and deaths, the computer has decided on a competition: one day in which PS, TS, and HPD split the tracks and manage them.'),(6,2,'The transtubes are split equally between PS, TS, and HPD.'),(7,2,'Obviously there\'s not nearly enough time for the other two to manage their tubes properly, so they\'re planning on sabotaging the hell out of Power Services networks.'),(8,3,'##SUB## is a highly destructive weapon capable of vapourising 1/10th of the sector\'s population each time it is fired (their clothes and belongings are intact)'),(9,3,'##SUB## has a delay between firings (whatever is thematically appropriate)'),(10,3,'##SUB## has been stolen by a FCCC-P splinter cell, and threatens to destroy the sector unless their demands are met.'),(11,3,'The demands start large (Live coverage on the sector Vidscreens) and get even more elaborate (Promotion of all the sect to VIOLET).'),(12,3,'Remember to find the scapegoat for this. It was lost at a transfer between R&D and AF, overseen by CPU'),(13,4,'Bit of background. In the year 182, there was another ##CIT-V-TR## who got a bit too high up too fast, and so a clever high-programmer made that particular phrase summon Friend Computer Immediately.'),(14,4,'The summons also modifies friend computer\'s threat level, raising it by one each time its name is said. Each time FC hears ##CIT-V-TR##\'s name, it shows up with a suddenly hightened threat level and'),(15,4,'doesn\'t know why. ##CIT-V-TR## only reached VIOLET three days ago, and is already up for erasure. FC suspects something about the name, which is why it requests a full purge.'),(16,4,'Anagram: TTS- Treason Tracking Server'),(17,4,'##CIT-V-TR## took an extremely large dose of the drug RadicalMankey, which is a major mutagenic, and it will kick in whenever appropriate.'),(18,5,'##SUB## is a proposal to change the standard gene template of clones to photosynthesize.'),(19,5,'The proposal is led by ##CIT-G-SG##, an (unsurprisingly) Sierra Club member.'),(20,5,'##CIT-G-SG## has the go-ahead for a small trial run, and the tech actually works, however:'),(21,5,'--The green gene removes digestive systems, meaning no food can be sold to these clones.'),(22,5,'--Green citizens quickly grow fat and immobile, as the gene is designed for outdoor background radiation, not AC radiation levels.'),(23,5,'The Programmers also have to decide whether to standardise the technology'),(24,5,'--If they do, the programmers and the rest of the sector become registered mutants immediately.'),(25,5,'--If they don\'t, the programmers must find a scapegoat for why the efficency boost wasn\'t implemented.'),(28,7,'A supervolcano has erupted, covering the planet with a layer of ash clouds which constantly storm.'),(29,7,'The lightning is so loud and frequent it can be heard on multiple outer layers of the complex, causing panic.'),(30,7,'HPs must find a reasonable excuse for the sounds to stop the panic, while finding a scapegoat for the attack.'),(31,8,'The Petbot 214 was released today, and has sold out within minutes. They were designed with subliminal messaging propaganda tech.'),(32,8,'The subliminal tech was hijacked by some phreaks as a contract for Corpore Metal. The petbot encourages owners to get into dangerous, maiming situations.'),(33,9,'A load of PLC\'s Cold Fun syrup fell into one end of the transtube ##ZON##-##SUB## after a navigation error caused the truckbot to crash.'),(34,9,'Cold Fun syrup sits at around 1 Kelvin for thousands of years, and is usually mixed in micro quantities to make cold fun.'),(35,9,'The Cold Fun Syrup is causing the air to liquify and mix with the syrup, causing it to spread further down the transtubes.'),(36,9,'PLC is blaming TS for the truckbot crashing. TS is blaming CPU for not updating the maps. CPU is trying to cover its tracks.'),(37,9,'In the end, there is a 15 ACCESS damages fee, in addition to any changes from directives.'),(38,10,'This information is based of a piece of paper recovered from a terminated achivist, listing several dates.'),(39,10,'These were actually the dates of the completion of several major transtube works in the past.'),(40,10,'Due to the recycling of the year 214 and a set of coincidences, all the other dates have matched with major sewerage overflows.'),(41,10,'The final date on the list is this daycycle. IntSec is desperately looking for an attack, AF wants to embarrass them.'),(42,10,'Tech Services and HPD are preparing for a Massive FunBall game that\'s about to take place, and when half-time hits and everyone uses the restrooms...'),(43,10,'Specifically, the sewerage will overflow 10 minutes before the end of the match.'),(44,6,'##SUB## is a power project designed to balance power fluctuations. Works off wierd science.'),(45,6,'Whenever the draw is high, the project pushes more power into the system, exponentially. Above a certain load, the project supplies virtually limitless power.'),(46,6,'So much power, in fact, it plays havoc with electrical systems and bot brains in the sector.'),(47,6,'If the players shut off the other reactors, the draw becomes higher, and players may find it impossible to shut the project down.'),(48,11,'The reactor doesn\'t work, and the project manager ##CIT-I-1## knows it. They\'re planning on faking a meltdown to get minions sent down.'),(49,11,'If the supplies and help are sent, the reactor actually starts melting down.'),(50,12,'Due to a bug in a recent software patch, the compnode of ##ZON## no longer recognizes a neighbouring sector as existing.'),(51,12,'Thusly, the computer sees all six million inhabitants plus bots as invaders, and views the sector as being outside.'),(52,12,'In a couple hours time, the software is reverted and the computer has no memory of seeing the sector as non-existant.'),(53,12,'PLC doesn\'t actually have enough laser barrels for the troops.'),(54,13,'A servants of cthulu sect has successfully managed to build a temple on sublevel 12, and finished a major ceremony. A gate has opened and is flooding water out to the lower levels.'),(55,13,'No gate has actually opened, it\'s just a burst water main, but the cultists are too feverish from hallucinogens in the water to tell the difference.'),(56,13,'Minions will report horrible creatures bursting from the water where none exist due to exposure to the hallucinogens.'),(57,14,'One of the major hygiene index factors is reports from core sample tests. These tests measure the depth of dirt and grime, usually around a few micrometres.'),(58,14,'A new dirt indexer bot has been deployed across the sector, which moves randomly around and measure the dirt level of surfaces.'),(59,14,'One wandered accidently into a frankenstein destroyers meeting, and was mostly destroyed. However, it kept measuring the distance to the tip of its drill bit, now several hundred metres away.'),(60,14,'This measurement is submitted every few minutes to the index, throwing the measurements right out.'),(61,15,'##CIT-B-1## was framed by ##CIT-I-1##, who ##CIT-B-1## had blackmail on. While he wasn\'t a commie, he was a high-ranking PURGEr and humanist.'),(62,15,'##CIT-B-1## is on their third clone, and has just completed their 4th tour of duty (20 years as a vulture trooper). He survives through his regeration mutation.'),(63,16,'214-##SUB## is an original copy of Das Kapital. It was recently raided from another high programmer\'s private residence. Of course, they\'re not willing to admit they had it.'),(64,16,'Anyone not of VIOLET clearance who touches or sees 214-##SUB## will be considered tainted by commie propaganda by the Big C.'),(65,16,'The other high programmer should message one or two of the players before game start, and promise favours if the item is returned.'),(66,16,'The book is currently in the middle of a busy INFRARED area somewhere. All INFRAREDs who have seen it will need purging/brainscrubbing.'),(67,17,'A blackout caused a group of INFRAREDs running for fitness purposes to accidently enter the MuchoMeat food growing floors, knocking black dirt all over the floor.'),(68,17,'When the light came back on, they saw the floor as INFRARED but all the doors as BLUE and above, so kept exercising till help came.'),(69,17,'##CIT-V-1## was in his office drinking when he heard destruction and shouts from outside, so immediately called on FC.'),(70,18,'##SUB## is a teleportation device, which links two points in space together.'),(71,18,'##SUB## can only be fired twice before being destroyed. It will take many monthcycles to create a new one...without HP resources, that is.'),(72,19,'This is part 1 of the TAINTED MOLLUSC storyline.'),(73,19,'Friend Computer is running a program that re-evalutes its basic assumptions. That is, what it defines as happiness.'),(74,20,'Three terrorist attacks are actually due to take place today. One PURGE at ##LOC-1##, one Humanist at ##LOC-2##, and Commies at ##LOC-3##.'),(75,20,'They are masterminded by a HP in a nearby sector, either as a test or revenge.'),(76,21,'This is part 2 of the TAINTED MOLLUSC storyline, testing Loyalty. The entire crisis is a trap.'),(77,21,'Anyone who agrees to legalise Communism is considered a traitor and will be executed without a damn good reason.'),(78,21,'In the meantime, everyone is conflicting over \"hatred day\", a day of hatred against the commies.'),(79,21,'The parade has a marching band, and several floats, including ones of a Computer, Vulture Craft, and dead Commie.'),(80,22,'Vicky-B is a HOOC Vulture Trooper. Friend computer wants her to disappear to take control of her dummybots freely.'),(81,22,'Vicky-B\'s dummybots have already been upgraded and gone missing.'),(82,22,'Vicky-B has a public appearance later this daycycle, and must be present to preserve happiness.'),(83,23,'Due to large amounts of recent rain, outside is currently flooding about 3m high around the complex.'),(84,23,'Recent chemical attacks by AF with RD weapon ##SUB## has entered the water, and water from the outdoors is toxic.'),(85,23,'There are no breaks in the wall *yet*, but there will be soon enough.'),(86,24,'This is part 3 of the TAINTED MOLLUSC storyline, testing Security. FC is testing whether actual terrorist activity drops the security index.'),(87,25,'##CIT-U## is from beta complex, and wants something valuable/difficult to obtain from the HPs.'),(88,26,'An experimental paper-eating bacteria RDP ##SUB## escaped containment at R&D firm Recycling Ruckus.'),(89,26,'All the paper not stored in the archives has been eaten and converted to a fine paste, including toilet paper.'),(90,26,'Friend Computer has ordered beefed up security at the archives, no-one goes in or out without express HP permission to prevent contamination.'),(91,26,'CPU, PLC, and R&D are all trying to implement their own catch-all way of storing records, and will be fighting like crazy.'),(92,27,'There is actually a war with Beta Complex, this time. The superweapon is a squadron of warbots.'),(93,27,'The other sectors don\'t really care about the warbots, as they\'re not actually firing on the complex yet.'),(94,29,'This is part 3 of the TAINTED MOLLUSC storyline, testing Compliance. Specifically, how well citizens comply en-masse when ordered into strenuous circumstances.'),(95,29,'The sector is actually overpopulated, but only in the INFRARED bunks, which is overpopulated 18%.'),(96,27,'The warbots are equipped with new shielding technology along with the usual assortment of weaponry, and will only retaliate if fired upon.'),(97,28,'Danny-V was broken out of prison after returning to the complex, but before his debriefing interrogation.'),(98,28,'While several of the SGs want him back, many of the societies want him dead.'),(99,28,'He may even have blackmail on a couple of the high programmers, and should be used as such.'),(100,28,'He was broken out by a HP in a nearby sector that has been conspiring with Beta complex. The HP\'s minion ##CIT-V-1## was the culprit.'),(101,29,'In order to find the space, something has to give. Specifically, two of the service groups will have to give up land, or build a *huge* outdoor extension for the 1 million oversubscribed INFRAREDs.'),(102,30,'There are no less than three different societies looking to kidnap Teela-O, and all will go off unless stopped.'),(103,30,'Friend Computer is actually hooked to the show due to HPD&MC binary memetic patterns, and will be angry if it has to respond during the show.'),(104,30,'- At the end of the hourcycle, there is a fireworks display INSIDE the megamall. This would be safe, except The Movement have sabotaged the fireworks.'),(105,30,'- Pro Tech are currently siphoning large amounts of power to steal Teela-O during the fireworks using a teleportation device.'),(106,30,'- The Runners are actually trying to get Teela-O to escape, with a simple trapdoor on the podium. If the other plans don\'t happen, she will disappear during the fireworks display.'),(107,31,'The romantics stumbled upon a recording of something called Brexit, and told the humanists about it.'),(108,31,'The humanists noticed the segregation caused chaos, and decided to put it into motion with a multiple step plan.'),(109,31,'Firstly, the phreaks were contracted to replace \"communism\" with \"eugenics\". PURGE were tasked with destroying the cloning tanks in GRB sector. The mystics added combat drugs to the b3 supply.'),(110,31,'The drugs caused massive rioting, which would usually be replenished by the now destroyed clone tanks.'),(111,31,'When FC tasked some HPs with fixing the sector, FC erased them all for being eugenisists when they talked about cloning.'),(112,31,'It then severed communications with outside sectors, seeing the wide infiltration of eugenics.'),(113,31,'PURGE, Humanists and Mystics are all waiting at ##LOC## in GRB for WMDs, real food, and escape, respectively. This may cause confusion.'),(114,32,'Due to an error, all the validated termination vouchers have gone to the wrong location: Nuclear Reactor ##SUB##'),(115,32,'Power Services has been using the termination vouches as reactor shielding.'),(116,32,'The reactor has a surplus of fissile materials, which several groups are fighting over. It requires removing the PS security forces from the site, however.'),(117,33,'The citizens are undergoing a self-administered loyalty test. Actual project designation is IS-##SUB##. At the end of the daycycle they will vote on who should receive each of three prizes.'),(118,33,'Prize ##SUB##/1 is a windfall of 15 ACCESS for outstanding loyalty.'),(119,33,'Prize ##SUB##/2 is a blank termination voucher for anyone of ULTRAVIOLET clearance or below, with no expiration date, to combat corruption of the highest places.'),(120,33,'Prize ##SUB##/3 is a mandatory trip to the HHAEC - Happy Homecoming Automated Euthenasia Centre - to experience what happens to traitors! They\'re only there to watch, no-one knows this.'),(121,33,'The prizes should be decided upon with about 30 minutes to spare, giving the recipient of the third prize time to try and escape his trip.'),(122,33,'You can also have the HPs set up and attend their own public vidshow about the prizes.'),(123,34,'Project ##SUB## exists on paper, but the actual project doesn\'t. All the citizens working on it have been redacted, the funding is funneled into grey accounts of the current heads of R&D and CPU.'),(124,34,'The project, on paper, is a mess. After actually decyphering the plans, the project was for a scorched earth planet-cracker as a last resort weapon against the commies.');
+INSERT INTO `crisis_text` VALUES (1,1,'CPU recently cut funding to termination stamping, leaving only one worker stamping all vouchers: ##CIT-Y-1##.'),(2,1,'A few daycycles ago, he lost his ME card in the pneumatic tubes, making him unable to leave the room or get help.'),(3,1,'Diligently, he kept stamping in the hope someone would come find him, he died from lack of water yesterdaycycle.'),(4,1,'No vouchers have been authorised in a day, meaning no authorised terminations have taken place.'),(5,2,'Due to a large string of timetable failures and deaths, the computer has decided on a competition: one day in which PS, TS, and HPD split the tracks and manage them.'),(6,2,'The transtubes are split equally between PS, TS, and HPD.'),(7,2,'Obviously there\'s not nearly enough time for the other two to manage their tubes properly, so they\'re planning on sabotaging the hell out of Power Services networks.'),(8,3,'##SUB## is a highly destructive weapon capable of vapourising 1/10th of the sector\'s population each time it is fired (their clothes and belongings are intact)'),(9,3,'##SUB## has a delay between firings (whatever is thematically appropriate)'),(10,3,'##SUB## has been stolen by a FCCC-P splinter cell, and threatens to destroy the sector unless their demands are met.'),(11,3,'The demands start large (Live coverage on the sector Vidscreens) and get even more elaborate (Promotion of all the sect to VIOLET).'),(12,3,'Remember to find the scapegoat for this. It was lost at a transfer between R&D and AF, overseen by CPU'),(13,4,'Bit of background. In the year 182, there was another ##CIT-V-TR## who got a bit too high up too fast, and so a clever high-programmer made that particular phrase summon Friend Computer Immediately.'),(14,4,'The summons also modifies friend computer\'s threat level, raising it by one each time its name is said. Each time FC hears ##CIT-V-TR##\'s name, it shows up with a suddenly hightened threat level and'),(15,4,'doesn\'t know why. ##CIT-V-TR## only reached VIOLET three days ago, and is already up for erasure. FC suspects something about the name, which is why it requests a full purge.'),(16,4,'Anagram: TTS- Treason Tracking Server'),(17,4,'##CIT-V-TR## took an extremely large dose of the drug RadicalMankey, which is a major mutagenic, and it will kick in whenever appropriate.'),(18,5,'##SUB## is a proposal to change the standard gene template of clones to photosynthesize.'),(19,5,'The proposal is led by ##CIT-G-SG##, an (unsurprisingly) Sierra Club member.'),(20,5,'##CIT-G-SG## has the go-ahead for a small trial run, and the tech actually works, however:'),(21,5,'--The green gene removes digestive systems, meaning no food can be sold to these clones.'),(22,5,'--Green citizens quickly grow fat and immobile, as the gene is designed for outdoor background radiation, not AC radiation levels.'),(23,5,'The Programmers also have to decide whether to standardise the technology'),(24,5,'--If they do, the programmers and the rest of the sector become registered mutants immediately.'),(25,5,'--If they don\'t, the programmers must find a scapegoat for why the efficency boost wasn\'t implemented.'),(28,7,'A supervolcano has erupted, covering the planet with a layer of ash clouds which constantly storm.'),(29,7,'The lightning is so loud and frequent it can be heard on multiple outer layers of the complex, causing panic.'),(30,7,'HPs must find a reasonable excuse for the sounds to stop the panic, while finding a scapegoat for the attack.'),(31,8,'The Petbot 214 was released today, and has sold out within minutes. They were designed with subliminal messaging propaganda tech.'),(32,8,'The subliminal tech was hijacked by some phreaks as a contract for Corpore Metal. The petbot encourages owners to get into dangerous, maiming situations.'),(33,9,'A load of PLC\'s Cold Fun syrup fell into one end of the transtube ##ZON##-##SUB## after a navigation error caused the truckbot to crash.'),(34,9,'Cold Fun syrup sits at around 1 Kelvin for thousands of years, and is usually mixed in micro quantities to make cold fun.'),(35,9,'The Cold Fun Syrup is causing the air to liquify and mix with the syrup, causing it to spread further down the transtubes.'),(36,9,'PLC is blaming TS for the truckbot crashing. TS is blaming CPU for not updating the maps. CPU is trying to cover its tracks.'),(37,9,'In the end, there is a 15 ACCESS damages fee, in addition to any changes from directives.'),(38,10,'This information is based of a piece of paper recovered from a terminated achivist, listing several dates.'),(39,10,'These were actually the dates of the completion of several major transtube works in the past.'),(40,10,'Due to the recycling of the year 214 and a set of coincidences, all the other dates have matched with major sewerage overflows.'),(41,10,'The final date on the list is this daycycle. IntSec is desperately looking for an attack, AF wants to embarrass them.'),(42,10,'Tech Services and HPD are preparing for a Massive FunBall game that\'s about to take place, and when half-time hits and everyone uses the restrooms...'),(43,10,'Specifically, the sewerage will overflow 10 minutes before the end of the match.'),(44,6,'##SUB## is a power project designed to balance power fluctuations. Works off wierd science.'),(45,6,'Whenever the draw is high, the project pushes more power into the system, exponentially. Above a certain load, the project supplies virtually limitless power.'),(46,6,'So much power, in fact, it plays havoc with electrical systems and bot brains in the sector.'),(47,6,'If the players shut off the other reactors, the draw becomes higher, and players may find it impossible to shut the project down.'),(48,11,'The reactor doesn\'t work, and the project manager ##CIT-I-1## knows it. They\'re planning on faking a meltdown to get minions sent down.'),(49,11,'If the supplies and help are sent, the reactor actually starts melting down.'),(50,12,'Due to a bug in a recent software patch, the compnode of ##ZON## no longer recognizes a neighbouring sector as existing.'),(51,12,'Thusly, the computer sees all six million inhabitants plus bots as invaders, and views the sector as being outside.'),(52,12,'In a couple hours time, the software is reverted and the computer has no memory of seeing the sector as non-existant.'),(53,12,'PLC doesn\'t actually have enough laser barrels for the troops.'),(54,13,'A servants of cthulu sect has successfully managed to build a temple on sublevel 12, and finished a major ceremony. A gate has opened and is flooding water out to the lower levels.'),(55,13,'No gate has actually opened, it\'s just a burst water main, but the cultists are too feverish from hallucinogens in the water to tell the difference.'),(56,13,'Minions will report horrible creatures bursting from the water where none exist due to exposure to the hallucinogens.'),(57,14,'One of the major hygiene index factors is reports from core sample tests. These tests measure the depth of dirt and grime, usually around a few micrometres.'),(58,14,'A new dirt indexer bot has been deployed across the sector, which moves randomly around and measure the dirt level of surfaces.'),(59,14,'One wandered accidently into a frankenstein destroyers meeting, and was mostly destroyed. However, it kept measuring the distance to the tip of its drill bit, now several hundred metres away.'),(60,14,'This measurement is submitted every few minutes to the index, throwing the measurements right out.'),(61,15,'##CIT-B-1## was framed by ##CIT-I-1##, who ##CIT-B-1## had blackmail on. While he wasn\'t a commie, he was a high-ranking PURGEr and humanist.'),(62,15,'##CIT-B-1## is on their third clone, and has just completed their 4th tour of duty (20 years as a vulture trooper). He survives through his regeration mutation.'),(63,16,'214-##SUB## is an original copy of Das Kapital. It was recently raided from another high programmer\'s private residence. Of course, they\'re not willing to admit they had it.'),(64,16,'Anyone not of VIOLET clearance who touches or sees 214-##SUB## will be considered tainted by commie propaganda by the Big C.'),(65,16,'The other high programmer should message one or two of the players before game start, and promise favours if the item is returned.'),(66,16,'The book is currently in the middle of a busy INFRARED area somewhere. All INFRAREDs who have seen it will need purging/brainscrubbing.'),(67,17,'A blackout caused a group of INFRAREDs running for fitness purposes to accidently enter the MuchoMeat food growing floors, knocking black dirt all over the floor.'),(68,17,'When the light came back on, they saw the floor as INFRARED but all the doors as BLUE and above, so kept exercising till help came.'),(69,17,'##CIT-V-1## was in his office drinking when he heard destruction and shouts from outside, so immediately called on FC.'),(70,18,'##SUB## is a teleportation device, which links two points in space together.'),(71,18,'##SUB## can only be fired twice before being destroyed. It will take many monthcycles to create a new one...without HP resources, that is.'),(72,19,'This is part 1 of the TAINTED MOLLUSC storyline.'),(73,19,'Friend Computer is running a program that re-evalutes its basic assumptions. That is, what it defines as happiness.'),(74,20,'Three terrorist attacks are actually due to take place today. One PURGE at ##LOC-1##, one Humanist at ##LOC-2##, and Commies at ##LOC-3##.'),(75,20,'They are masterminded by a HP in a nearby sector, either as a test or revenge.'),(76,21,'This is part 2 of the TAINTED MOLLUSC storyline, testing Loyalty. The entire crisis is a trap.'),(77,21,'Anyone who agrees to legalise Communism is considered a traitor and will be executed without a damn good reason.'),(78,21,'In the meantime, everyone is conflicting over \"hatred day\", a day of hatred against the commies.'),(79,21,'The parade has a marching band, and several floats, including ones of a Computer, Vulture Craft, and dead Commie.'),(80,22,'Vicky-B is a HOOC Vulture Trooper. Friend computer wants her to disappear to take control of her dummybots freely.'),(81,22,'Vicky-B\'s dummybots have already been upgraded and gone missing.'),(82,22,'Vicky-B has a public appearance later this daycycle, and must be present to preserve happiness.'),(83,23,'Due to large amounts of recent rain, outside is currently flooding about 3m high around the complex.'),(84,23,'Recent chemical attacks by AF with RD weapon ##SUB## has entered the water, and water from the outdoors is toxic.'),(85,23,'There are no breaks in the wall *yet*, but there will be soon enough.'),(86,24,'This is part 3 of the TAINTED MOLLUSC storyline, testing Security. FC is testing whether actual terrorist activity drops the security index.'),(87,25,'##CIT-U## is from beta complex, and wants something valuable/difficult to obtain from the HPs.'),(88,26,'An experimental paper-eating bacteria RDP ##SUB## escaped containment at R&D firm Recycling Ruckus.'),(89,26,'All the paper not stored in the archives has been eaten and converted to a fine paste, including toilet paper.'),(90,26,'Friend Computer has ordered beefed up security at the archives, no-one goes in or out without express HP permission to prevent contamination.'),(91,26,'CPU, PLC, and R&D are all trying to implement their own catch-all way of storing records, and will be fighting like crazy.'),(92,27,'There is actually a war with Beta Complex, this time. The superweapon is a squadron of warbots.'),(93,27,'The other sectors don\'t really care about the warbots, as they\'re not actually firing on the complex yet.'),(94,29,'This is part 3 of the TAINTED MOLLUSC storyline, testing Compliance. Specifically, how well citizens comply en-masse when ordered into strenuous circumstances.'),(95,29,'The sector is actually overpopulated, but only in the INFRARED bunks, which is overpopulated 18%.'),(96,27,'The warbots are equipped with new shielding technology along with the usual assortment of weaponry, and will only retaliate if fired upon.'),(97,28,'Danny-V was broken out of prison after returning to the complex, but before his debriefing interrogation.'),(98,28,'While several of the SGs want him back, many of the societies want him dead.'),(99,28,'He may even have blackmail on a couple of the high programmers, and should be used as such.'),(100,28,'He was broken out by a HP in a nearby sector that has been conspiring with Beta complex. The HP\'s minion ##CIT-V-1## was the culprit.'),(101,29,'In order to find the space, something has to give. Specifically, two of the service groups will have to give up land, or build a *huge* outdoor extension for the 1 million oversubscribed INFRAREDs.'),(102,30,'There are no less than three different societies looking to kidnap Teela-O, and all will go off unless stopped.'),(103,30,'Friend Computer is actually hooked to the show due to HPD&MC binary memetic patterns, and will be angry if it has to respond during the show.'),(104,30,'- At the end of the hourcycle, there is a fireworks display INSIDE the megamall. This would be safe, except The Movement have sabotaged the fireworks.'),(105,30,'- Pro Tech are currently siphoning large amounts of power to steal Teela-O during the fireworks using a teleportation device.'),(106,30,'- The Runners are actually trying to get Teela-O to escape, with a simple trapdoor on the podium. If the other plans don\'t happen, she will disappear during the fireworks display.'),(107,31,'The romantics stumbled upon a recording of something called Brexit, and told the humanists about it.'),(108,31,'The humanists noticed the segregation caused chaos, and decided to put it into motion with a multiple step plan.'),(109,31,'Firstly, the phreaks were contracted to replace \"communism\" with \"eugenics\". PURGE were tasked with destroying the cloning tanks in GRB sector. The mystics added combat drugs to the b3 supply.'),(110,31,'The drugs caused massive rioting, which would usually be replenished by the now destroyed clone tanks.'),(111,31,'When FC tasked some HPs with fixing the sector, FC erased them all for being eugenisists when they talked about cloning.'),(112,31,'It then severed communications with outside sectors, seeing the wide infiltration of eugenics.'),(113,31,'PURGE, Humanists and Mystics are all waiting at ##LOC## in GRB for WMDs, real food, and escape, respectively. This may cause confusion.'),(114,32,'Due to an error, all the validated termination vouchers have gone to the wrong location: Nuclear Reactor ##SUB##'),(115,32,'Power Services has been using the termination vouches as reactor shielding.'),(116,32,'The reactor has a surplus of fissile materials, which several groups are fighting over. It requires removing the PS security forces from the site, however.'),(117,33,'The citizens are undergoing a self-administered loyalty test. Actual project designation is IS-##SUB##. At the end of the daycycle they will vote on who should receive each of three prizes.'),(118,33,'Prize ##SUB##/3 is a windfall of 15 ACCESS for outstanding loyalty.'),(119,33,'Prize ##SUB##/2 is a blank termination voucher for anyone of ULTRAVIOLET clearance or below, with no expiration date, to combat corruption of the highest places.'),(120,33,'Prize ##SUB##/1 is a mandatory trip to the HHAEC - Happy Homecoming Automated Euthenasia Centre - to experience what happens to traitors! They\'re only there to watch, no-one knows this.'),(121,33,'The prizes should be decided upon with about 30 minutes to spare, giving the recipient of the third prize time to try and escape his trip.'),(122,33,'You can also have the HPs set up and attend their own public vidshow about the prizes.'),(123,34,'Project ##SUB## exists on paper, but the actual project doesn\'t. All the citizens working on it have been redacted, the funding is funneled into grey accounts of the current heads of R&D and CPU.'),(124,34,'The project, on paper, is a mess. After actually decyphering the plans, the project was for a scorched earth planet-cracker as a last resort weapon against the commies.'),(125,35,'The commies aren\'t actually planning on attacking today, but the wobblies are. They\'re planning on hitting one of the compnodes later this daycycle.'),(126,35,'The commies however, have found the well preserved dead body of who they believe to be Lenin, and are attempting reanimation.'),(127,35,'During the daycycle, they will steal an entire cloning tank, some high-grade weapons plutonium, a small amount of Hot Fun Syrup, and then will cause a sector-wide brownout reanimating Lenin.'),(128,35,'The commies have set up a honey-trap at ##LOC##, with some low level members are prepared to put up a token resistance to make it look good.'),(129,35,'##LOC## is also rigged to blow, wiping out all evidence that it was a honey trap.'),(130,36,'Project ##SUB## is a tunnelling device, able to tunnel and high speeds (40km/h) through any material.'),(131,36,'The device exists and is was hijacked by a bunch of communist spies from Beta Complex, and is currently on its way to beta complex.'),(132,36,'The device originally started as a mass conversion device. The paperwork is a mess, and details the project in its original form.'),(133,36,'There has been the usual embezzling from higher ups, and CPU is going to try and blame RnD to cover their tracks.');
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INSERT INTO `sgm` VALUES (1,'The grunts are getting restless. Make sure at least two infantry units are given something to do.',1,NULL),(2,'The budget for the new Mark V Warbot is tight. We need an R&D team and half a ton of reactor fuel to attempt to turn it on.',1,NULL),(3,'Efficiency is down 15.7%. Find a way to increase it. It doesn\'t matter what it is, it\'ll all balance out in the end.',2,NULL),(4,'Housing in ##ZON## is oversubscribed by 21%. Either build more housing or reduce demand.',3,NULL),(5,'We\'ve overproduced on ##RES-1## by six months. Find a use for the excess ##RES-1##.',4,NULL),(6,'We have a machine. We don\'t know what it does. Turning it on needs unfettered access to a reactor. We want to turn it on.',7,NULL),(7,'Our contract to rebuild sector ZQD is behind schedule. We need another couple of construction teams but don\'t let anyone know we\'re using them to finish ZQD.',5,NULL),(8,'We\'ve got a huge excess of spent fuel rods. Find a place to put them, please?',6,NULL),(9,'We\'re having trouble storing all the nukes. Either use a few or find us a new storage area.',1,NULL),(10,'The jackbooted idiots are blaming us for no termination vouchers being dispatched, make sure the blame falls on them and not on us.',2,1),(11,'Those idiots in CPU haven\'t sent us any termination vouchers for the last daycycle. Find out why and make sure they take the blame.',8,1),(12,'We want this contract but haven\'t the time to prepare...make sure Power Services\' tubes stop working and get us that contract.',5,2),(13,'The money we could get from this contract, not to mention the extra housing space. Do whatever it takes to get us the contract.',3,2),(14,'It\'s not our fault there were so many problems with the Transtube timetables! Make sure we keep this contract, or we\'re all toast.',6,2),(15,'Power Services have never given our troops free rides. Make sure whoever gets the contract promises free rides to Armed Forces grunts.',1,2),(16,'We were ambushed while getting the weapon from R&D. Make sure we don\'t get embarrased over this.',1,3),(17,'We filed the RDP ##SUB## paperwork as complete before the exchange was ambushed. Make sure the exchange is completed before the end of the daycycle.',2,3),(18,'There\'s a small problem we\'ve located with RDP ##SUB##, once it gets fired it can\'t be turned off. Destroy the device and make sure no-one else finds out about this little flaw.',7,3),(19,'##CIT-V-TR##\'s erasure has to go off without a hitch. The Big C\'s twitchy enough as it is.',3,4),(20,'Due to constraints, we can\'t actually remove ##CIT-V-TR##\'s name from the databanks until after their erasure, or it\'ll crash the TTS. Make sure it doesn\'t crash.',2,4),(21,'The Big C seems to have a sore spot for ##CIT-V-TR##, and the TTS isn\'t tracking why. Make sure the trial goes off fine, but delay the erasure so we can use \'em as bait.',8,4),(22,'##CIT-V-TR##\'s erasure is due for 80:00, but we want it pushed back to 90:00 for...reasons. We also want their body afterwards, get it to us.',7,4),(23,'RDP ##SUB## is one of our best projects, and it actually works! Get it standardized sector-wide.',7,5),(24,'If RDP ##SUB## gets standardised we\'ll lose at least half our revenue. Make sure it doesn\'t make the cut.',4,5),(25,'RDP ##SUB## getting standardised means we can sell space in our reactors for growth! Get in standardised!',6,5),(26,'The nitwits at Power Services want RDP ##SUB## standardised for some reason. Make sure it doesn\'t happen.',5,5),(27,'If RDP ##SUB## is standardised, we won\'t be able to easily push drugs to the population. Stop it at all costs',3,5),(28,'If R&D\'s new gene is standardised, we can classify most of the sector as unregistered mutants and push our rates through the roof! Get it done.',8,5),(29,'Current projections of RDP ##SUB## show an efficiency increase of 180%! Get it standardised!',2,5),(33,'This attack must be from Beta Complex. We must march upon Beta Complex immediately!',1,7),(34,'This attack will lead to war if we don\'t act soon. Prevent a war with Beta Complex breaking out until we find the cause.',8,7),(35,'Our grid is almost overloaded! I can\'t believe I\'m saying this...but we need clones to use more power immediately!',6,7),(36,'There\'s a sudden drop of happiness in multiple subsectors. We need it cleared up pronto.',3,7),(37,'The Petbot 214 has a bit of a flaw, but make sure it doesn\'t get banned. It\'s set to have huge sales!',4,8),(38,'The Petbot 214 is a hit, but could use a few new features. Make sure the next production run encourages people to watch \"Late Night with Conan-O-BRN\"',3,8),(39,'The release of the Petbot 214 is ruining our metrics. Get it removed from sale however you can.',2,8),(40,'The new Petbot requires huge amounts of power, and needs to be rechared every two hours. The grid can\'t handle it, either get us more power or remove the petbots.',6,8),(41,'The concentration of petbots is at an exact level required for data gathering. Don\'t have them recalled, but don\'t let the next production run complete.',7,8),(42,'The truckbot with cold fun syrup crashed in ##SUB##, make sure we don\'t take the blame or have to pay any damages.',4,9),(43,'Tunnel ##SUB## was a clear run on the map! Make sure CPU wear the blame for the Cold Fun syrup truckbot crash.',5,9),(44,'The maps for the transtubes were supposed to be updated last monthcycle but weren\'t. Cover us while we update the maps and records to show the update happened as planned.',2,9),(45,'The data shows a terrorist attack is supposed to hit today. Identify the threat, and make sure it\'s stopped.',8,10),(46,'Finally, a chance to embarrass those idiots at IntSec. Find what this supposed terrorist attack is supposed to be, and when it happens make sure IntSec take the blame.',1,10),(47,'Make sure the UltraSuperMegaBowl goes off without a hitch - broadcasting is on a 10 minute delay to the complex, it must not be interrupted.',3,10),(48,'Our techs have nicknamed today the MegaBowel, for obvious reasons. If there\'s anything in the pipes there may be problems. If it happens, don\'t let the blame fall on us.',5,10),(49,'Project ##SUB## is going ahead today, make sure it\'s a success!',7,6),(50,'##SUB## is likely to cause us to lose the need of heaps of reactors! Don\'t let it succeed!',6,6),(51,'The reactor isn\'t actually ready to go yet, we need engineers sent down before it gets switched on. Whatever happens, make sure HPD don\'t get any footage of the unfinished reactor.',6,11),(52,'We\'ve been refused access to the opening ceremony of the new reactor, but you should have no problem. Get our cameras into the opening ceremony and find out what\'s going on.',3,11),(53,'We\'ve had this huge stock of radiation badges for over a yearcycle. Sell one to every citizen of the sector.',4,11),(54,'We just got word of a huge invasion force! Get at least four of our units into the fight!',1,12),(55,'We\'ve finally got a solid war coming. Get heaps of combat footage of our troops winning for the usual propaganda purposes.',3,12),(56,'We\'re going to war. Prevent any major damage to the sector, or make sure the other service groups get blamed for it.',5,12),(57,'We don\'t actually have enough laser barrels to go to war with. Either make more fast or find alterative ammo sources.',4,12),(58,'The flooding water may be fresh water! If it is, store it somewhere so we can bottle it and sell it for megacredits!',4,13),(59,'Mission quota is down. Send at least 5 troubleshooter teams on missions before the end of the daycycle.',9,NULL),(60,'That entire flooded area was almost condemned. Let it get destroyed so we can get a juicy demolition contract out of it.',5,13),(61,'This flooding is bad for morale. Implement a couple of initiatives to make the proles feel good about the flooding.',3,13),(62,'We have reliable information one of the High Programmers in the room is a traitor. Find them and have them terminated before end of daycycle.',8,NULL),(63,'There\'s been a sudden drop in the hygiene index, whatever the cause, make sure the blame is on tech services.',2,14),(64,'There\'s been a sudden loss of hygiene in the complex, our cleaners are still working fine. Make the blame land squarely on R&D.',5,14),(65,'We deployed a few dirt indexer bots last weekcycle and they work great! Make sure any blame for the loss of sector hygiene falls on CPU and not us.',7,14),(66,'The Computer\'s convinced that one of the other High Programmers is a traitor. If you don\'t prove that one is a traitor it\'ll blow a fuse.',2,NULL),(67,'We need more data on the effects of a nuclear meltdown, so we can test our new nuclear-proof underwear.',7,NULL),(68,'We need to close transtube ##ZON##-M4 for six months. Clear it with the other High Programmers and make sure they understand this will disrupt all transport in the sector.',6,NULL),(69,'##CIT-B-1## is one of our most decorated Vulture Troopers. Don\'t let treason be the public reason for his erasure.',1,15),(70,'##CIT-B-1## is an embarrassment to the complex, show him as an example that anyone can be a commie.',8,15),(71,'We need more exposure, ratings are falling. Get a high-profile citizen to go on at least two troubleshooter missions.',9,15),(72,'If ##CIT-B-1## is publicly denounced as treasonous it will be horrible for morale. Don\'t let that happen.',3,15),(73,'We\'re lagging behind on our High Profile Mutation Tracking. Find ##CIT-B-1##\'s mutation and have it registered before his erasure.',2,15),(74,'214-##SUB## is a commie weapon of mass destruction! Secure it and give it to us so we can study it!',7,16),(75,'Oh Computer, 214-##SUB## again? Make sure it\'s properly secured by us this time.',8,16),(76,'Everyone seems to be after 214-##SUB##. Make sure it\'s secured by us so we can replicate it and sell it to the other groups for massive profits!',4,16),(77,'Why are the other groups after 214-##SUB## anyway? Get it for us so we can sell it to the highest bidder!',6,16),(78,'Those Jackbooted idiots can\'t even keep one item under containment? Get 214-##SUB## for us, and we\'ll secure it properly this time.',1,16),(79,'MuchoMeat is one of our most profitable producers, don\'t let any serious damage come to it.',4,17),(80,'MuchoMeat is out-performing profit expectations. Bring it back within expectations.',2,17),(81,'MuchoMeat is full of expensive machinery, if things were to get broken there it would be extremely profitable for our techs. Make it profitable for our techs.',5,17),(82,'MuchoMeat uses far too much power. Halve their power consumption by the end of the daycycle.',6,17),(83,'##SUB## only has enough power for two firings, but the second will destroy the device. Stop people from using it more than once!',7,18),(84,'We\'re low on water. Use ##SUB## to pull water in from Jupiter\'s moon.',4,18),(85,'The enemy complex on the moon has always held a sword over our heads...until today! Use ##SUB## to destroy that complex!',1,18),(86,'There\'s an entrenched PURGE cell hiding deep underground, use ##SUB## to penetrate the fortress and eliminate the cell.',8,18),(87,'Something\'s going on with the computer\'s circuits...make sure FC doesn\'t terminate any of the HPs this daycycle so we can track down the problem.',5,19),(88,'The terrorist attack appears to be orchestrated by an Ultraviolet. Uncover this UV and have them terminated.',8,20),(89,'We have the Hatred Day Parade running tonight, make sure it\'s not interrupted.',3,21),(90,'The Parade usually brings out the commie rats. The arrest quota for today is 400% of normal, make sure we reach it.',8,21),(91,'PS aren\'t giving us the power we need for the parade lighting. Get it for us.',5,21),(92,'Our reactors are maxing out, reduce usage before one goes critical.',6,21),(93,'Vicky-B has an appearance later today, make sure she attends it before her disappearance.',1,22),(94,'The Big C has deterimined Vicky-B to be a traitor. Get her to us before her public appearance later this daycycle before she causes damage.',8,22),(95,'We still have tons of Vicky-B merchandise, make sure she is still a hero when this is all over.',4,22),(96,'Strike-Me-Not has suddenly become profitable, make sure it doesn\'t get shut down and stays under our control.',7,23),(97,'Strike-Me-Not is surpassing expectations. Make sure it gets shut down or gets transferred to us.',6,23),(98,'Strike-Me-Not is suddenly exceeding expectations, a sure sign of treason. Shut it down and have the staff interrogated.',8,23),(99,'When the exercise is over, make sure IntSec look incompetent while we look fantastic.',1,24),(100,'There\'ll be an invasion exercise today. Embarass the AF while making us look good.',8,24),(101,'We need to show the complex working together, get footage of at least 4 service groups working together to defend the complex.',3,24),(102,'We should take back ##CIT-V## by force! We must pre-emptively attack! Of course, clear it with the rest of the UVs first.',1,25),(103,'We should oversee the ##CIT-V## deal. Set up the deal, and make sure we get them back unharmed.',8,25),(104,'We need some good graces with FC, make sure a Troubleshooter Team oversees the transfer of ##CIT-V##.',9,25),(105,'We need to show R&D is still relevant in the fight against Communism, be sure our projects take a leading role in the upcoming exercise.',7,24),(106,'A staged commie attack means lots of repair work. Make sure all repair work is blamed on other SG\'s imcompetence, not on the exercise, or we\'ll have to pay the bill.',5,24),(107,'We should use this opportunity to move all our records to electronic sources. Convince FC to go full electronic!',2,26),(108,'CPU is going to try and make records go all electronic, stop it from happening, the power cost would be impossible.',6,26),(109,'Find a different medium than paper or electronic to put records on, and convince FC to use it to store all records. We\'ll make millions!',4,26),(110,'PLC is going to go silly over some new record storage material again, make sure it doesn\'t get implemented. Paper and Electronic are all we need.',3,26),(111,'We\'ve been trying to push for quantum storage for some time now, here\'s our chance. Convince FC to move all records to the new format.',7,26),(112,'R&D is going to push for quantum storage again, ever tried to convict someone on evidence they might be guilty? Yeah. Stop it from happening.',8,26),(113,'This attack must be from Beta Complex. We must march upon Beta Complex immediately!',1,27),(114,'This attack will lead to war if we don\'t act soon. Prevent a war with Beta Complex breaking out until we find the cause.',8,27),(115,'Danny-V-SNH was broken out of custody before his debriefing interrogation. Get them back and find the culprit.',8,28),(116,'Danny-V-SNH was a popular figure before they sent on their mission. Get them in the spotlight and keep them alive.',3,28),(117,'We still have a warehouse of Danny-V-SNH memorabillia. Bring them back into the public eye and flog off all this old stuff.',4,28),(118,'The sector is overpopulated. This is our chance to lower the Treason Termination Minimum by 15%. Clear it with the other HPs.',8,29),(119,'Cloning times are already at the maximum, make sure clone deaths are at a minimum this daycycle.',5,29),(120,'HPD&MC are going to use the overpopulation as an excuse to take our land. Make sure we don\'t lose any land to HPD todaycycle.',1,29),(121,'HPD&MC are going to use the overpopulation as an excuse to take our land. Make sure we don\'t lose any land to HPD todaycycle.',4,29),(122,'HPD&MC are going to use the overpopulation as an excuse to take our land. Make sure we don\'t lose any land to HPD todaycycle.',7,29),(123,'If we\'re going to fix the overpopulation, we need more land for housing. We need two of either AF bases, PLC warehouses, or R&D labs.',3,29),(124,'Friend Computer has an interest in this show performing well. Ensure the show goes off without a hitch.',3,30),(125,'We have intel Teela-O is trying to disappear and will do so during her live show today. Ensure her location is tracked and her accomplices are arrested.',8,30),(126,'The market is already oversaturated on Teela-O merch, and we\'ve got tons in storage. Find some way to get sales of Teela-O merch going again.',4,30),(127,'The megamall is expected to be completely full todaycycle. That means there won\'t be enough air for the people inside. Don\'t let us take the blame for any incidents.',6,30),(128,'Simple repairs aren\'t profitable. Make sure GRB sector is either unharmed or declared destroyed after it\'s reintegrated.',5,31),(129,'Tech Services have been getting uppity, we should cause them some trouble. Cause a large repair log for GRB sector, but don\'t have it declared destroyed.',6,31),(130,'We noticed major computer activity before the sector went offline. Don\'t let any damage come to GRB sector.',2,31),(131,'Last message received from GRB sector was warning of the danger of the eugenicists. Identify and classify this new threat.',8,31),(132,'We were sent tons of paper that was used on Reactor ##SUB##\'s shielding. Don\'t let the other groups find out.',6,32),(133,'The jackbooted idiots are blaming us for no termination vouchers being dispatched, make sure the blame falls on IntSec and not on us.',2,32),(134,'Those idiots in CPU haven\'t sent us any termination vouchers for the last daycycle. Find out why and make sure they take the blame.',8,32),(135,'Whatever happens, make sure you get prize number 2, it can\'t fall into someone else\'s hands.',8,33),(136,'Prize 2 is far too valuable for any other group to have, make sure you get it instead of them.',1,33),(137,'Internal affairs is breathing down our necks. Make sure whoever controls internal security gets prize number 1, it will distract them for a while.',9,33),(138,'Tech Services being their usual uppity self, make sure their controlling UV gets prize number 1.',6,33),(139,'Power Services has seen prize 1, and as usual they\'ll try and give it to us. Make sure their controlling UV gets it instead.',5,33),(140,'We can\'t find ##SUB## anywhere, we don\'t even know where it was supposed to have been built. Don\'t let the others find this out.',7,34),(141,'RnD have been promising ##SUB## for over two yearcycles now. Recover it and bring it to us.',1,34),(142,'We suspect RnD are planning on framing us for embezzling funds, when of course we didn\'t. Make sure the blame falls purely on RnD.',2,34),(143,'We were promised manufacturing contracts on ##SUB##, have it tested and approved for production.',5,34),(144,'Clones don\'t buy as much when fear of Commies is high, they stay away from shops. Lower the fear of commies by the end of the daycycle and get them out shopping again!',4,35),(145,'Clones watch more vidshows when fear of commies is high. Raise the fear of commies even higher so we can make more on advertisements!',3,35),(146,'Our Communist Fear index is just right. Keep it stable for the rest of the daycycle.',2,35),(147,'We can\'t find ##SUB## anywhere, we don\'t even know where it was supposed to have been built. Don\'t let the others find this out.',7,36),(148,'RnD have been promising ##SUB## for over two yearcycles now. Recover it and bring it to us.',1,36),(149,'We suspect RnD are planning on framing us for embezzling funds, when of course we didn\'t. Make sure the blame falls purely on RnD.',2,36),(150,'We were promised manufacturing contracts on ##SUB##, have it tested and approved for production.',4,36),(151,'We\'re behind on our success ratio. We need two successful troubleshooter missions by the end of the daycycle.',9,NULL),(152,'We\'re behind on our survival quota. We need two troubleshooter missions to lose no clones by the end of the daycycle.',9,NULL);
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