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  -                                    <strong>I've got mostly bad news, but some good news.</strong> Consider this newsletter the shitty box of raisins in your bag of candy. Hell, maybe I'll even ruin your favorite holiday, at least a little bit.
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  -                                    I'll start with the bad news…This newsletter is 30 days late. To make that seem less bad, here's more bad news: Halloween won't always be the joy-filled evening of snack-sized Snickers and girls dressed as Sexy Naruto that it should be. As you leave the trick-or-treating stage of your life behind and enter the alcohol-and-crazy-penis-costumes phase of Halloween, you tend to care less about the candy and more about the partying. Unfortunately, Halloween parties tend to be pretty much the same as your regular Friday nights, except everyone is wearing a dumber outfit than usual.
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  -                                    Whew, enough with the bad news. I'm bumming myself out. The good news is, we're unveiling something very exciting: a different, limited-run anime shirt every month designed by a kick-ass t-shirt artist. We're calling it the ‘Shirt of the Month’ (SotM). Pretty darn clever, right?
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  -                                    Quality, fashion-forward shirts with art printed at a retail level; rather than using a rubbery plastic to apply the art to the shirt, the shirt is garment dyed. You <strong>can't</strong> pick it off. You <strong>won't</strong> be able to feel the art on your shirt and the art <strong>won't</strong> crack or crumble over time, as most screenprinted shirts do. It will last as long as the shirt does.
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  -                                    The biggest reason we're doing this is to provide a way for the community (That's you!) to help support us financially and get something kick-ass and pajama-comfortable in the process. Did we mention each shirt will increase the likelihood of sexy women (or men, depending on your preference) kissing you right on your anime-loving mouth?
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  -                                    Here's a preview of November's SotM. It's on sale two days early so you can go ahead and <a href="http://shop.hummingbird.me" style="text-decoration: none;color: #f3730b;">order that beautiful crap right now</a>. We've included a size chart on the product page so you don't end up looking like a package of hot dogs, or a kite.</td>
  +                                    <strong>It's 2014! Except... It's not.</strong>
  +                                    Not for me, anyway! I'm testing an amazing new product that we've spent the last couple months developing here at the Hummingbird HQ.
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  +                                    Unfortunately, Vik made me promise not to tell you guys abou-- OKAY FINE, IT'S A TIME MACHINE! You read correctly, I'm writing this newsletter from the past. Your may be wondering, "Josh, why didn't I ever get a November or December newsletter?" Well, that's easy to answer. I murdered past Josh to protect my future identity. I'm sure he would have written those newsletters if he wasn't dead... but he is. I could write them, but I already wrote them once, before I was murdered in 2013.
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  +                                    When we weren't working on bending time and space to our will, we were researching a new technology that allows us to power our servers with the howls of outrage from readers who felt wronged when something they love was excluded from the "best of" for the year.
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  +                                    <strong>What's that? You're wondering what the best anime of 2013 are? Look no further than the <a href="http://hummingbird.me/2013">Hummingbird Year in Review</a>!</strong></td>
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                                      <td valign="middle" align="center" bgcolor="#f8f8f8" height="10" class="sectionRegularInfoTextTD" style="border-collapse: collapse;color: #777777;font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;font-weight: lighter;padding: 0;margin: 0;text-align: left;line-height: 165%;letter-spacing: 0;">Machines are starting to become self-aware. It seems killing past Josh had dire consequences. Dire. Not Diarhhea. Grow up, this is serious. Unfortunately, as you may have suspected, my cofounder, Vikhyat, was indeed a cyborg.
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                                      Now that it's come down to man vs machine, I'm sad to report that he chose the other side. Armed with a giant mech suit made out of toasters, $200 toothbrushes and thinner ipads, I'm not sure he can be defeated. All I have to defend the humans with is that really itchy sweater I made out of things I found in your trash.
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                                      I can't help but think about how good January 2014 would have been if we hadn't tried to control space and time. We would have probably launched the newly redesigned <a href="http://hummingbird.me/users/Josh">Libary pages</a>. The ones with the <a href="http://hummingbird.me/users/Vikhyat">beautiful large cover photos</a> and the increased speed. Rest assured, I'm going to do everything in my power to get things back to normal. If you never received a commemorative <a href="http://seabreacher.com/seabreacher-x/">shark boat</a> for being a member of the world's most ass-kicking-ist anime website named after a bird, you'll know I've failed... and I'm sorry.
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                                      If you enjoyed the newsletter, be sure to <a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?in_reply_to=395777256603525120&related=hummingbird_me,twitterapi" style="text-decoration: none;color: #f3730b;">tweet and let us know</a> or discuss it <a href="http://forums.hummingbird.me/t/hummingbird-january-newsletter/5268" style="text-decoration: none;color: #f3730b;">on the forums</a>, keep in mind that I'm personally informed whenever anyone decides not to post on the forums, and I cry very hard every time it happens.  
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