anchor.diff:    start-stop-daemon --stop --quiet --pidfile "<%= @pid_file %>" --user "<%= @user %>" --signal "<%= @reload_signal %>"
   }
   
  -<%- elsif @platform_family == 'rhel' -%>
  -. /etc/rc.d/init.d/functions
  -
  -_pid () {
  -  pidof -s -o $$ -o $PPID -o %PPID -x "$1" || pidof -s -o $$ -o $PPID -o %PPID -x "${1##*/}"
  -}
  -
  +<%- else -%>
   _start() {
  -  ( cd "<%= @directory %>" && daemon --user "<%= @user %>" --pidfile "<%= @pid_file %>" "<%= @daemon %> <%= @daemon_options %>" >/dev/null 2>&1 ) &
  -<%- unless @pid_file_external -%>
  -  sleep 1 # Give it some time to start before checking for a pid
  -  _pid "<%= @daemon %>" > "<%= @pid_file %>" || return 3
  -<%- end -%>
  -  return 0 <%# ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ %>
  +  <%# Implementing this using RedHat's bash helpers is too painful. Sorry. %>
  +  <%# See dummy.rb for a more commented version of this code. %>
  +  /opt/chef/embedded/bin/ruby <<EOH
  +pid_file = <%= @pid_file.inspect %>
  +File.unlink(pid_file) if File.exist?(pid_file)
  +if Process.fork
  +  sleep(1) until File.exist?(pid_file)
  +else
  +  Process.daemon(true)
  +  Dir.chdir(<%= @directory.inspect %>)
  +  <%- unless @pid_file_external -%>
  +  IO.write(pid_file, Process.pid)
  +  <%- end -%>
  +  Process::UID.change_privilege(<%= @user.inspect %>)
  +  Kernel.exec(*<%= Shellwords.split(@command).inspect %>)
  +  exit!
  +end
  +EOH
   }
   
   _stop() {
     if [ -r "<%= @pid_file %>" ]; then
       kill -<%= @stop_signal%> "$(cat "<%= @pid_file %>")"
     else
  -    killproc "<%= @daemon %>" -<%= @stop_signal%> >/dev/null
  +    return 0
     fi
   }
   
   _status() {
  -  status -p "<%= @pid_file %>" "<%= @daemon %>"
  +  if [ -r "<%= @pid_file %>" ]; then
  +    kill -0 "$(cat "<%= @pid_file %>")"
  +  else
  +    return 1
  +  fi
   }
   
   _reload() {
  
positive.code:   fi
  }
  
  <%# Some functions to match LSB because RHEL doesn't (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ %>
  
  log_daemon_msg() {
    echo -n "$1"
  
negative.code: 
  log_end_msg() {
    if [ "$1" = 0 ]; then
      echo " [  OK  ]"
    else
      echo " [FAILED]"
    fi
  }
  <%- end -%>
  
  set -e
  