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"It's not strictly necessary to amputate the patient's finger, but it'll be funny as fuck..." | {
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There's a phrase that describes that behavior...
"bitch move". | {
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This is very true. Some people get lucky and the first friends they have (or first girlfriend eve,) stick with them their whole lives, but some people grow up to be different people. I guess when your friendship is based on recess and pokemon cards, that doesn't mean you'll end up with similar politics, personalities, or compatible drug addictions.
I just made myself sad about growing up. | {
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Yes they are. Looks like you haven't actually met any stoners. Stoners are actually some of the stupidest, ignorant people I've ever met, and when I told one I was volunteering for PETA they called me a hippie. Fuck stoners. Nothing against you. :) | {
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You clearly don't have a dick | {
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**What if I told you all that there was a subreddit you could go to that, using a complex mathematic algorithm predicts which threads will make it to the front page?**
**Ever wonder how Karmanaut/POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS/Apostolate etc got their karma? Became famous?**
**Check out: /r/risingthreads**
**Previously unavailable to the public**
**Enjoy your Karma!** | {
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Your ethics are bad and you should feel bad. | {
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Congrats, your families claim to fame is having a super hot ancestor. Just goes to show how shallow humans are I guess. | {
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when I was in the Marine Corps I had a rackmate whose last name was Queear. Instead of laughing, I just asked him how to pronounce it. It's pronounced "queer".
:|
that sucks. | {
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It landed right in front of him.
I don't see how it's his fault. | {
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What the fuck did I just masterbate to? | {
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>God, that guy is such a giant douche.
Who are you again ? | {
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I'm an atheist but man do I love relevant bible verse | {
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I'd like about 50 downvotes, please. | {
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Well can you at least tell me if your mother is hot? | {
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Upvote for using the correct pronoun. | {
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I love those calls. It makes me feel pretty secure if something does happen to go wrong. | {
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Your mom just wants to spend the last moments, in which you share her last name, before you share FMIL's last name.
Please please let her.
... from a mom with adult daughters...
| {
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I'd rather he burst into tears, sobbing that it's too late. | {
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Chick with dick == man | {
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For once in a very long time, I wholeheartedly agree with you. [Have some mind bleach!](http://mindbleach.org/) | {
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> What exactly does "live straight lives" mean?
Wife, kids, white-picket fence and occasional gay sex in the public bathroom... | {
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* Ctrl + Direction keys scrolls the typing cursor by words
* Ctrl + Shift + Direction keys highlights whole words at a time
Variations on a theme. I'm sure there are more that I don't know about
Edit: Left out "Direction keys" to the second shortcut. MB | {
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you have shitty taste. | {
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Plus, you'd be carrying around a stick with your coworkers piss on it. | {
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Meh. It is still cooler than if she didnt have the tattoo at all. | {
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"Would you club me? I'd club me. I'd club me hard. I'd club me so hard." | {
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how dare you make me look up the word bereaved! | {
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The rule I used to work by in kitchens was if you fucked up the meal everyone else had first dibs on it. So you couldn't purposefully screw things up for yourself to eat. | {
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they like things like this. | {
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>Would that I were made of upvotes. I would give myself to you.
What a beautiful upvote.... | {
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Nope.
It's how we shame women for saying "I wish guys could be more like you" while never ever ever even accidentally dreaming of the possibility of going out with a guy like you.
These women line up to get treated like shit by assholes, then whine about it to the non-assholes, only to line up for the next asshole to come along. | {
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Do you actually own a bear costume? | {
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They did do their homework... but they don't know that it isn't called the "Democrat Party"? It is the "Democratic Party". (Last sentence of page 1). | {
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"My spine is so happy!" | {
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Noooooooooooooooooooooooobody gives a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Downvoted for being such a try hard piece of shit. Fuck off about who originally made it. Nobody cares. At all. | {
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fuck her she's a juggahoe | {
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/downvoting for the sake of downvoting. | {
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"We had to call the Department of Wind and put in a direction request." | {
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pretty dam good ..lol old joke though | {
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My first thought of was the Pharaoh that left a child to have no communication with anyone to try and hear what the original language of humans was and other [Language deprivation experiments](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_deprivation_experiments)
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There's no hate. I'm just being honest about it. Getting his hopes up is mean. | {
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What? You're on your cell phone having a conversation with her. | {
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just one of the reasons just is now the Ex ha | {
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That is bizarre. I have never heard of Germans forcing their way into someplace they don't belong. | {
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Seriously, let's all take a moment to circle jerk about Nintendo, a company most people have forgotten about the existence of because of their refusal to make products consistent with the decade we're in. | {
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Southern Ontario will rise again. | {
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~~I came here to say this. I troll people IRL all the time like this- ~~
~~An example is something that happened today-~~
~~>"hey afbaiuwe, ever heard of Pink Floyd?"~~
~~ "no, who's he he sounds like a fag"~~
~~>"Dark side of the moon?"~~
~~ "Did he ever do anything with Wiz?" ~~
~~ >"No" ~~
~~ "He must suck dick then, bitch. Listen to real music- TAYLOR GANG"~~
| {
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I feel more like the pressure is the OTHER way. People have this idea that Mormons are monolithically boring and/or creepily Stepford-y. But in my experience, that's bull, and Mormons are as diverse in most ways as anybody else. I think it would be cool if people figured that out.
So I just try to be myself. | {
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> The only reason one would have for trying to claim they are is due to intolerance.
You're narrow minded to allow only one possibility. Generally things don't change gender, and generally it's pretty obvious who's a guy and who's a girl. | {
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Pretty fucking much. My cursive looks like a 5 year old with Palsy wrote it using their non-dominant hand. | {
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I used to make the same mistake as OP, but then I took an arrow too the knee! | {
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yes. If a woman seems to be afraid of you when she walks toward you in a dark alley just scream "DON'T WORRY! I HAVE A MASSIVE ERECTION!" | {
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A least im not an ugly whore posting half naked pics on the Internet to get up votes from random ass people. | {
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Now all I can see in my head is you with the poor robot chained up or locked in a room.
"Returning to... lobby... lobby... lobby... lobby..." | {
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Lol yeah ur right the trees mods do suck dick | {
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Trust this man; he's a doctor | {
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>there're
do u even words | {
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Sorry I didn't, I was out of control that day. | {
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Dude. That is a ripoff of a blatantly christian song. Don't. | {
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I like the way he poses awkwardly after each shot | {
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We're talking series here, not a particular movie. Note the amount of movies mentioned in the original post. Godfather, Star Wars, Dark Knight Series, all great movies. | {
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Walk in and quit from jobs you never had to begin with. | {
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>God give that guy a break
You mean "God give us brainwashed fans a break"? Doubt tb reads every comment on reddit
>starcraft is his fucking hobby
...for a hobby he sure spends a lot of time traveling around the world casting top-tier games
>and the community would be a significant amount smaller were it not for him.
Because we need more of the WoW demographic. | {
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The baby molts and emerges from its old shell, leaving behind its old skin, like a cicada. | {
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Demanding some verification doesn't make you a putinbot (at least, shouldn't)... | {
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happens to the best of us
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You mean the fucking dinosaur? Holy shit, I think you are actually retarded, wow... | {
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Me too... and I'm a dude. | {
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It's the name equivalent of 'swag'.
James Franco. | {
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Yet our media still manages to publicly humiliate people on trial who haven't even been proven guilty yet. | {
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Do not pick techies in ranked game
Pick normal heros but no techies | {
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Same with Macauly Culkin | {
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If I were your boss, I would simply have replied "It is not anywhere in the code, but since it is perfectly reasonable, **I am asking you to do it**."
I get the whole "my boss is a dick" thing, but come on, employees who won't tuck in their shirts when the boss asks them to?
EDIT: to close quotation marks. | {
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Is this really that crazy though? I mean, I think pretty much every musician/actor/actress/athlete/public figure has a publicist and management team that try to shape their image. | {
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Why do I doubt that will happen any time soon? | {
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I let mine live in the yard for the first few years so the cat wouldn't get jealous | {
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):
why are people on ths sub so mean | {
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25% of prisoners ARE in prisons. The other 75% are too. | {
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I politely disagree. If she didn't want to have sex she should have just said no again and not consented with her body language. | {
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I learned very quickly to not start "your mama" jokes when your own mother is dead. | {
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LOL
>when a tear gas canister hit her in the face.
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Come on... brosquito. | {
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I'm not even sure how to reply to that. Especially since you no reasoning behind your statement. | {
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This is why you can't buy a house, OP. Because you rented a movie and never payed. | {
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Whoooooooooooooooooooosh, an entire religion went right over your head, with Christianity, the race isn't important as the message, only jews are obsessed with the blood purity of their racist faith
edit ANd all you downvoters are obviously jews or ignorant of apartheid Israel's racist laws that give automatic citizenship to anyone of jew blood while denying equal rights to everyone else | {
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Because he drinks a product of India while listening to German music from an American mp3 player? | {
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cam chancellor would be banned with that logic. | {
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Likes shorter women with a sense of humor, animal lover. | {
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> Shes probably already one of them.
Its not a contraction. | {
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I like how you talk. Say something else, please. | {
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Aiyo is this wat Amercangmohs complain about these day leh? Cheyyy they so kurang ajar... why u not worry about other thing lor. Kena bang!
In sg we have not many crack on walkway but when I tapao makan step get sibeh small and only take two step also can -_-
Ok these post sabo me lor also on **9gag** yesterday lah ^ ___ ^
Edit: CHEYYY I DOWAN DOWNVOTE ALSO CAN )-:<<<<< | {
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Holy fuck!
My jaw dropped on this one. | {
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Yes, by saying "I have no clue. Watch this DVD." | {
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Hotel bellman invents cold fusion, more at 11. | {
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i always downvote people like you, this is retarded, annoying and gets posted 100 times and people think they are super hilarious and original | {
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I, too, can do basic arithmetic. | {
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> You think Comcast and Time Warner have competition?
I have never heard of a single person who literally only had the option to have Comcast or Time Warner as their ISP.
They all **choose** Comcast/TW because they want the better speeds they offer in their location. | {
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I'm American, but whenever I travel to other countries people assume I'm Canadian because of how polite I am. So your country's hallmark is alive and well. | {
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A stable OS.. And and a better supporting of old phones... We're are still supporting the iPhone 4S... But I won't argue that android does do something's better | {
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