How can I store function names to be executed on a subset of rows? I have a table, accounts, which contains the vast majority of the data I am concerned with. accountTypes contains different types of accounts (Business, Personal, etc.). I want to perform calculations on each row of accounts based on the accountType. The best method I can think of for doing this would be to create UDFs, then store the names of the UDFs in a table typeFunctions, consisting of rows of accountTypeID and functionName, as in: P, "f_ageOfAccount" and B, "f_daysSinceLastcontact".

Unfortunately, joining this table to the accounts table and looping through it to exec the function name seems very kludgy.

Is there a better way to approach this problem?  



Context:  Currently, the legacy version of this application stores ad hoc SQL in typeFunctions and execs the SQL, looping through the accounts with a cursor. Obviously, this has some performance implications and is not optimal when dealing with complex calculations.
Any time you use a scaler function you have to run the function once for each row.  Complex CASE statements will usually be faster for SQL to process, even though there are painful to read.