When adding possessive-S/apostrophe to a list, the rule is only the last person has the apostrophe if the item is shared, or everyone has one if they have the items each, e.g.

*John and Mary's houses* = the houses that belong jointly to John and Mary.

*John's and Mary's houses* = the houses that belong to John and Mary as individuals, at least one each.

However, I am curious if the rules are slightly different when possessive pronouns are used for a single item.

*You and Mary's house* OR *your and Mary's house*?

I'm even more unclear when the first person is involved.

*Mary and my house* OR *Mary's and my house*?

Finally, when there are at least three people, including the first person, does the last named person have the possessive-S/apostrophe, or all/none of them?

* *John, Mary and my house*
* *John, Mary's and my house*
* *John's, Mary's and my house*

I'd be very grateful to anyone able to clarify this, ideally with a some form of reference, as I can't find it anywhere.

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There have been several suggestions to use "our", yet if the text refers to a group of people, all of whom own co-own houses with some others within the group\*, then the above style wording would be necessary, so my question stands.

\* eg I own a house with John and Mary, I co-own another with Peter and yet another with Philip and Sarah.