Here's a pseudo-table:

```
Table: people
    name : varchar
    is_married : varchar

```

I have a php variable $selected\_individual whose is\_married status I need to update. I'm stuck after

```
SELECT * from people
WHERE name = '$selected_individual'

```

How do I update his is\_married status?

This maybe related to [this question](https://stackoverflow.com/questions/554205/with-mysql-how-do-i-insert-into-a-table-on-condition-that-the-value-does-not-exi) but nested queries and JOIN are way to advanced for me to get my head around at this point (I'll look into them after some much needed sleep).

edit: for example in this query, 

```
INSERT INTO x_table(instance, user, item) 
    SELECT 919191, 123, 456
        FROM dual
        WHERE NOT EXISTS (SELECT * FROM x_table
                             WHERE user = 123 
                               AND item = 456)

```

I can't seem to figure where can I plug in my 'yes' value myself for is\_married column. (or where do I put VALUES ('yes') in there?)