I started a PhD in September of the last year at a European university in the field of engineering. I was very enthusiastic about it because I really worked hard to obtain this opportunity and I won three positions in total (the one I choose in the end and other two).
The project where I am now looked amazing, there were also the possibility to go in another country to do some experiments and it was together with other industries and university. I enjoy the spirit of "science is done together" and so I believed that here I could find my happiness.

I started. I found troubles in understanding the content of the papers I was reading. This because I am a civil engineer and the project is more in the field of mechanical/material engineering. It took me a while to really start to understand also the language of my other colleagues and I am still working on that. I realized that my supervisor has a hands-off approach, so he does not have the expertise in my field. I started to feel a little bit alone, doubting that I could really do something good without a real technical feedback. I talked with a friend who is doing a postdoc and he told me that this situation is quite normal and the really valuable skills that matter are the ability to work alone and independently. I understand that, but honestly it is far from the motivation that I have to do a PhD: I do not do it to become a professor; I do not do it to become a manager; I just want to give a little contribution to science, and I do not think that as a young PhD student, I am able to understand everything without support.

My supervisor cares about documenting everything that is done and about writing. He is obsessed with me to writing a perfect report each time. I understand that, on the long run, this is important because I can forget the details, but I have to say that it stresses me a lot: I would like to spend more time doing something good rather than writing every single detail. This approach is due also to his lack of knowledge, since he needs me to explain everything I do.

During last month our relationship became worse: He says that I have problem in understanding (in the civil field), and honestly I do not think so. I am just not very good in the writing part, because I am not used to write a lot and I also do not really like it. There are some postdocs in the mechanical department working in my field, and I tried to ask my supervisor if I could collaborate with them, but he denied this in a kind way. He said that we are independent and we “do not need them”. However, I need them. I need some support during this initial period of the PhD.

Some weeks ago I asked the head of the department if I could get some support because of the interdisciplinary nature of my PhD and during the meeting he said yes. He then completely changed in a subsequent meeting with my supervisor and me: He changed his mind and both of them had my last report printed. They pointed out every mistake. For example, in a table there was a typo because I had missed a zero in a number. Maybe I am superficial, but why is doing a mistake is so serious? Why do they have to make me feel not good enough because my report is not perfect? My supervisor is lacking in a lot of things, but he will be always right.
In the end of the meeting, they told me that I should be “more critical” but they believe in me. Honestly I do not believe in these words from my supervisor. It is not that he tells me what I did wrong, it is that sometimes I find him mean in the way he tells me things.

I have applied for other projects. I won a position in the UK one week ago, in a good university, and I was shortlisted two times in another very good university in Europe. The position in UK is sure, while the other one no. I would like to go, but I feel bad about myself. What if is it me? What if I am not able to pursue a PhD? Talking with other students in the departement, I found out that also other students had problems with him and some of them have left. Two who stayed say that they hope I will make the right decision so I will not feel bad like them in the following years.

How can I approach this situation?