+++
title = "Tome of Deadly Pranks"
date = 2018-03-17T19:19:51-04:00
draft = false
subtitle = ""
categories = ["Essays"]
topics = ["Games","Table Top Games","Dungeons and Dragons"]
toc = false
styles = []
+++

I had written a roundly rejected magic item for a [Pathfinder RPG](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathfinder_Roleplaying_Game) contest some
years back, and just stumbled across it again. For those of the game-nerding
persuasion, have a look.

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## Tome of Deadly Pranks

**Aura** strong evocation; CL 17th  
**Slot** - ; Weight 5 lbs.

### Description

This book looks exactly like a *tome of understanding* yet
hides a powerful curse. Whenever the book is read, roll 1d10 on the
following table to determine the result.

1. Every time the reader speaks the word, "Help," in
any language, she slips and falls prone.

2. The next item the reader touches shrinks as per the
*shrink item* spell, except that the duration is permanent and
the reader cannot expand the item.

3. The next member of the opposite sex the reader speaks to
explodes, as if that person had just read *explosive runes*.

4. The reader can only verbally communicate in chicken clucks. He
can still understand any languages he knows.

5. The reader's weight doubles, causing him to take a −2 penalty
to Strength and Dexterity.

6. The reader, along with all her gear, is instantly transported
to the nearest occupied bedroom.

7. The reader is polymorphed into a sheep.

8. Whenever the reader draws a weapon, that weapon shouts an
embarrassing fact about that character's childhood.

9. A army of goblins declares war on the reader. This army is
always within 20 miles of the party, and consists of any combination of
gobliniods that add up to the party's ECL +2. The army tracks the party
consistently and aggressively, yet non-magically.

10. Roll twice and keep both results.

All effects are permanent unless removed with a successful *remove
curse* spell. Although Tomes of Deadly Pranks are created by error,
many more are created by insidious Arcane Tricksters.

Add article on tome of deadly pranks
Add article on tome of deadly pranks
