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t3_23niqm | relationships | Me [18F] and my [18M] Boyfriend (9 months) ,had sex for the second time 4 days ago, and now he won't talk to me? | On Thursday my boyfriend and I had sex for the second time ever (we both were virgins prior to the relationship). And since then I haven't gotten a semi-meaningful conversation out of him.
I texted him Friday and Saturday with minimal respone (3-4 text max) and heard nothing from him today or Sunday. This is really unusual for us but at the same time I fee like I may be paranoid/clingy. We've had a rough couple of weeks but everything was going well up until now.
I'm just not sure if I should be upfront about it or just wait, because honestly right now I feel like crap. | My boyfriend is barely speaking, the last time we spoke was when we had sex. Don't know if I'm paranoid/clingy. What do I do next? |
t3_3shu7l | travel | GoPro or Camera for Travel | My brother is studying abroad in Australia next semester and is debating between a GoPro and a dSLR for his trip (and future). This will be a gift from our family, so the price isn't a huge issue except that he won't get both.
As his technology consultant (you redditors know what I'm talking about) I'm having a hard time deciding what to recommend. Personally, I have both and use them both fairly regularly, but picking one is hard.
I'm leaning towards the GoPro for him as he has an iPhone that shoots decent pictures and having the waterproof/action features will be good for the adventure stuff he's planning on doing in Australia. He thinks the SLR is better for after the trip and I don't think it would go to waste on him (ie not using 90% of the features on an SLR).
That should he do? | Brother going to Australia for study abroad, debating between SLR and GoPro. Help me decide pros/cons of each. |
t3_1v6zmt | relationships | Me [20 M] friends with [20 F], I don't know whether to make a move. | Story time!
Back in october, I met this girl at a party through university. We got talking, it was great, we had a laugh, and got on really well. Two days after that I invited her to get coffee with me, she replied that essentially she would love to, but just as friends. We never actually ended up going to coffee.
Since then I have been talking to her fairly frequently, maybe every other day. It's pretty much 50:50 conversation starting thing in terms of who makes contact. I'd say we're quite good friends, but obviously, me being a dumb male, got really attracted to her and honestly I would love for there to be something more. We sometimes end up texting until 4am and it feels like someone is giving me a fresh shot of heroin every time I talk to her. I'm in a good mood for 24 hours afterwards, then comes crushing, overwhelming depression.
The other day she invited me to study in the library and to help her find some material for her friend [who was also at the library] for an essay she is doing. So, I figure, great, I'll go to the library and hang out with them. I spent about 90 minutes there then left, we talked a bit but not as much as I would have liked, because it was a library and, you know, quiet as fuck. She seemed fairly receptive to my jokes though, and playfully proof-read one of my essays that I had on me. This was however the only time we have spent together since that party in october, all other contact has been electronic.
I'm honestly going a bit insane with my feelings towards her. I either need to be in a relationship with her or I need closure and never to talk to her again. She is, in my mind, absolutely perfect for me. We just click, ya know? So my question is, what should I do? Should I ask her on another date, or conclude that she has 'friendzoned' me and try to move on? | Can't decide whether to ask a friend who rejected me for a date in october on another date. I am losing my mind over it. |
t3_msgdh | AskReddit | What is your best "Thank God that didn't happen" moment? | I was at a fairly large party in the middle of nowhere-ville Texas. There were a few houses surrounding each other in this neighborhood that consisted mostly of a giant fielded area. I was only 19 at the time, but was partaking in the drink as I had a ride home, it was summer, and good times were aplenty. So anywho, we pissed off most the neighbors and they rightfully called the cops on our punk behinds. The cops arrived and I had to make a snap decision. Some of my friends were telling me to stay inside the house and wait it out until the cops left. One other friend of mine said she was splitting through the side window. What to do?
I booked it out of there with her and we ended up running down the street trying really hard not to laugh because the cops were *right* around the corner, next to the window. We fell in a ditch and got poison ivy rashes. We then scratch ourselves and peak at the scene going on at the party through the field grass.
Nearly everyone else at the party was underage too. They were all lined up outside, breathalized, ticketed, and had to wait to get picked up by their parents. A few of the ruder, and more beligerant drunks were even booked.
I was so grateful that I chose the window.
Me and my friend just went to IHOP, drank coffee, and ate pancakes the rest of the night, itching like crazy. | Party got busted and I had to choose to wait it out or sneak through the window and escape. I chose the window, and everyone else got ticketed or went to jail. Thank god that didn't happen to me. |
t3_2ckf93 | tifu | TIFU by being busted for 4 things at the same time (potentially NSFW) | So... I live with my parents, and they are really strict, to the point that they limited me to use the computer only before 23:00. But I've managed to take that out, without them knowing it of course. And, also, they don't know I, ocasionally, smoke some weed. And that I have a boyfriend.
So, one day, after they were asleep, I managed to make my BF come through my bedroom window. We saw some stuff on the internet, smoked a little, and then had sex. During the act we might have been a little to loud, because they came in. So... my parents found out that I:
a) Have removed the limit to the computer
b) Smoke Weed
c) Am gay
d) Have a boyfriend | Parents walked on me using the computer (not allowed), having sex with my boyfriend (I am gay) and saw my weed |
t3_1ia3cl | relationships | I'm not really sure what to do with my situation, some advice would be great. | Me (20/m)
In order to get a full perspective of my situation, I need to give some background. Im 20 years old, never had a real relationship, and until two years ago, I never really had any experience with women. Over the past two years, I've made a 180 with my life and have had, for lack of a better work, "great success" with women, but only over very short durations and one night stands. Recently, due to a bunch of small things, I figured I kind of want to get a girlfriend. I didn't know if it was because I was lonely, wanted a companion, or just needed to prove to myself that I could have a girlfriend if I wanted one.
Over the past week or so, I've successfully gotten someone who would be more than happy to be my girlfriend, and don't get me wrong, she is fantastic. However, having this validation led me to realize that it is in fact the latter reason, now that I have someone who is willing to be in a relationship with me- hell WANTS to be in a relationship with me, I want nothing more than to just be single.
As much as I like this girl, I can't stop feeling like I don't want a relationship, but I would would hate to do anything to hurt/upset her.
I wish I could express my frame of mind clearer, and better. I've tried my best, sorry. Thanks. | Needed to prove to myself that I could have a girlfriend if I wanted one, succeeded, now don't want one but would hate to hurt said girl. Don't know why I don't want one either. |
t3_1j050v | tifu | TIFU by being in the Army... and substituting energy drinks for sleep | To give a bit of background, I haven't slept since Sunday because my job is a wee bit demanding at the moment. I recently moved to a new duty station and today is day 3 of my new job. On Monday, I had to cover a 24 hour duty shift for a colleague. This bled into my normal job on Tuesday. This is not uncommon, and I would normally have just caught up on my sleep Tuesday night. But not this time. Tuesday would be another sleepless night, as I had to return to work early that night for some training in a simulator (a giant video game in a small, mobile, sealed container... this detail is important). At this point, I have been on duty for roughly 48 hours, working tirelessly with another 24 hours to go before I could possibly get any sleep. The only way I have been able to cope up to this point was by self medicating with anything and everything available at my local 7/11. The human body has its limits. At a certain point, it will revolt. The following is a message sent to my brother detailing my untimely shitastrophe:
The overwhelming nausea that ensued a record-pace consumption of a monster energy drink was only a foreshadowing of the catastrophe to follow. A mere 30 minutes into the simulation, my gunner became frightened by the sound of what he mistook for a buffalo stampede. His error in judgment was only confirmed by the noxious smell of what I assume is my own GI track dissolving itself in the corrosive cocktail of energy drinks, coffee, caffeine pills and a gas station hot dog. To liken it to a normal bout of flatulence would be like comparing a double homicide with the Holocaust. Imagine the entire cast of Bambi simultaneously processed through a wood chipper into a large metal vat and left to stew in a hot parking lot for three days. Now we're getting close. One could use the same metaphor to roughly describe the bowel movement that followed. I'm still unsure if it was fecal matter exiting my sphincter at mach 2 or just the remnants of what my colon used to be.
needless to say, eye contact is still a bit dodgy...
[ | ] Today I discovered my body's limit for ingestion of energy supliments. Professional relationships irreparably destroyed... along with a perfectly good uniform |
t3_ttqbh | relationship_advice | Found BF w/ another girl in our home | me f (20) him (22) been together year and a half. Lived together the whole time finally got an apartment with each other, 3 months ago (previous place was already his). Have had our ups and downs but nothing too bad not to be able to forgive each other
So the back story: we got in a argument and he asked me to stay at my parents for a week, so I left (Tuesday) I came back our home a few days later (friday) to get some clothes... I found condoms. I automatically assumed he cheated. I was devastated and ruined a bunch of his stuff; games, clothes etc. We talked and he said they were for masterbating. I had a hard time believing this due to the fact that he hates them so we don't use them and he never ever said anything about using them before the past 2 years.
I finally started believe him, I did and do feel bad about the whole thing. He was scared of me but just asked if i could fix and replace everything which I did. Sunday we mostly fought about the whole thing and were going back and forth if we were actually together or not. He promised even if we were taking a break he wouldnt sleep with anyone else.
Tuesday night I wanted to go to the apartment to grab stuff for his birthday (Wednesday) so I get over there close to midnight. See his shoes and girl shoes and girl shorts in the doorway. I go to the bedroom and I find them naked in bed. I guess I interrupted before they started... But still. He ended up throwing me out of the apt.
The next day (wed his birthday) I go and get my stuff to move out. If was the hardest 3 hours he broke down crying apologizing ( said it wasn't cheating we weren't together) and all he wants to do is worm it out...
Friday we go to couples therapy. Which was difficult. We got a lot of advice. He did admit it was cheating which I wanted to hear because that's what I felt. The therapist wants us to keep trying basically.
So am I being a complete idiot for even considering to trying to make this work? | BF had fight, went to stay at parents for week, came home found condoms( wasn't cheating) came back again few days later found him with a girl in bed. Went to couples therapy. |
t3_ju81u | relationship_advice | Both 22, shes going to school 6 hours away, need help | Hey reddit,
So here's the story, I finished my undergrad a year before her, and went straight to work. I don't make great money but its decent, enough to live on. She has only ever worked part time, and finished her undergrad a year after me.
We've been together for 2 years, living together for 1. I own the car and pay the insurance, and more than half of rent since I have make more money.
She will be moving away and going to do her Masters in a small town ~6 hours away. And we have had a few discussions about plans. Basically, her Masters won't cost her anything really (working for university + prof), so she has to financial problems, but she really wants me to come with her since it is a 2 year program. I work in IT so I'm sure I can find work, but I feel like I'll have better chances where we live currently with finding a better job/growing/improving my career.
I've tried to get as many opinions as I can, my family tells me focus on career, every single person has said that. Her family always asks what I'm going to do, and when I respond I'll likely stay here, they respond with "but you'll be apart"
So reddit, what would you do? Any insights you can give would be greatly helpful. I'm so stuck on what to do. | gf going away to do masters, I'd like to stay where the jobs are, different opinions cause unhappiness, what to do? |
t3_2h44ly | relationships | Me [20 M] with my college friend [20 M] for a year, having an issue with his attitude | So there is this project we are going to have next semester and I asked him more than a week ago if he wants to do it with me. I got no answer. The next day I met him in person and he told me that he doesn't know yet, if he will take the course even.
A few days later I asked him again, telling him that I'd really like to know, because otherwise I'd need to look for another partner as the registration for the groups was today. Still no answer, even though I could see he read it (Facebook).
So I asked him yesterday that I would really like to know now, because registration is tomorrow. He answered late in the night telling me that he doesn't know if he takes this course/project next semester, so he can't say, yet.
Then today I was looking at the registered groups for the project and I see him with another friend of us in a group..
I instantly told him that I am really disappointed and he can't act in such manner - I am now waiting for his response. | Anyway, what should I do now? Is the friendship lost, or did I overreact in some way? I really don't know.. |
t3_pffg1 | AskReddit | After being fired from my job I decided to buy a one-way ticket to Europe, despite the fact that I have no money saved up. Advice? | I am a 22 year old American female, and I will be going to Europe (France, initially) for an unknown amount of time. I am terrified/excited!
I have worked at least 50 hours a week for the past 3 years and after getting fired from my last job I decided I would rather be homeless than continue to work to live and be unhappy. I have always wanted to backpack around Europe and always held it as just an idea, never a reality. At the age of 17 I did go to Switzerland and France alone, but I had family friends to stay with and money saved up. I have a moderate knowledge of the french language and will be flying into Toulouse, FR in May.
I know that I am taking a big risk, I bought the ticket on a whim and now I am slowly starting to realize what I signed up for, so I'm looking for advice. I am familiar with living out of a bag, in fact I am right now. I do make jewelry and I am currently traveling around selling my work, staying with friends, and I have been moderately successful but still need more income and confidence... thankfully tax season is here and I worked my ass off last year, but that is the only money I am expecting besides jewelry sales.
I don't know what to expect, culturally, and emotionally.
I'm looking for any advice, at all. I'm jumping into a new situation and I need a fresh perspective.
I will be using couchsurfing as well, but that will only help me so much.
Also, I am aware of the problems that come with buying a one-way ticket and I'm dealing with that, but any advice for that is welcome as well.
I would also like to add as an end note that no matter what happens, I have accepted that I have one hell of a journey ahead of me. | I bought a one-way ticket to France and I have no money, moderate language comprehension, and only a few skills to make money. |
t3_xlz5x | dating_advice | (M 24) so this girl I met at karaoke... | So, almost two weeks ago I went to karaoke night at a local bar with some of my good friends. We were there for a few hours, and while there we met these three really cool chicks that would chat with us for a bit every now and again during the night.
As the night progresses, I start to focus in on one of the girls. long long story short I get her number and we agree to meet up again to do more karaoke (or drinks).
Fast forward two days, she calls out of the blue to ask if I'll take her and her friends (same girls from that night, they happened to be from out of town) out around town. I had to politely decline because I had a comedy show to do the same time they planned to go out. She said no problem and said to call her when I finished to meet up after my show.
Later that night I call to meet up and get no response. No big deal, I figured her and her friends got busy and I was discussing some post show things with some of the other comedians who saw my bit. I figured I'd call a few days later to call raincheck.
So, to end the long story, I've called her 3 times (sounds like a lot but i spread the calls out) since that night and got limited response. The second call she texted me back saying she was good and asked how I was. I missed the text by 20 minutes and responded back, but no response to the response.
Anyway, I was just wondering if a) I did wrong in turning her initial hangout request down, b) did I call too much, and c) should I give up or let the situation cool off and try again? and d) any other advice you can dish out. | Girl I met at karaoke and I exchanged numbers, she calls two days later to hang and I decline due to prior engagement and now she won't respond after 9 days and 3 calls. What to do? |
t3_k82zd | AskReddit | Why do some Americans hate Muslims? | This question has been eating me up and its almost the anniversary of 9/11.
I get that a group of radical Muslims hijacked some airplanes and crashed them into the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and (thanks to brave souls of Flight 93 that attempted to take back the plane) a rural area in Pennsylvania.
Its okay if you hate those people, but I find a lot of people just group ALL Muslims into that group and proclaim them to be evil.
As someone who tries be a good person and a Catholic, I find it hard to hate someone based on religion. I dislike people based on their actions, and people who stereotype all Muslims as evil are racist and (in my opinion) just as bad as the people who committed the acts of 9/11. | I know people stereotype Muslims and stuff, but I want to know why they do so when it is clearly the wrong thing to do. |
t3_2wjf32 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my bestfriend [19F] 4 months, she's deeply in love and I am scared (xpost from /r/advice) | I met her 4 months ago we didnt become best friends until 4 weeks ago when she helped me through a breakup. A few days ago she told me that she has devoloped feelings for me and I am extremely scared. I told her that we have no chance to be together because she lives in Canada and I am moving to Britain next year. At first she agreed with me and decided that we should stay friends but now she's messaging me telling me that she loves me and that she wants to have a chance with me even if we can't meet in real life for at least another month.
I have never met anyone who was so in love with me and if I wouldnt lie I have similar feelings for her (not as passionate though) she offered to fly to me next month so we can spend two weeks together and it's scaring the fuck out of me. She's adorable she's what I want in a woman but we can't survive long term. I know that the answer might be in explaining this to her but I am too scared of breaking her heart I am too scared of her hating me.
She's messaging me right now and I just made a lame excuse to why I cannot reply and I feel scared, help.
She just went to sleep 10 minutes ago and I feel bad. I need an approach to tell her that I want her to be my best friend but not my lover an approach that wouldnt break her heart. | A girl fell deeply in love with me that I fell softly in love with and I would rather us stay best friends but I do not know how to ask for that without breaking her heart. |
t3_3slqpz | relationships | How can I [28m] make sure I'm in the loop regarding parties, events, etc. in my new kickball league? | So, a few months ago, I signed up for a local (I live in Silicon Valley) social kickball league so that I could meet new people, make friends, etc. It's been fun, but the final game of the season is in a few hours, and we have an end-of-the-season party in a few weeks.
I should mention that the league I joined is run by a company that runs similar leagues all over the country year-round. However, they don't run a kickball league over the winter. They do run things like bowling leagues, but they generally aren't as active and social as kickball leagues (partially because they meet on Mondays).
The people in the league I joined have been in this league for a few years, so they've formed pretty close bonds and relationships. I'm still kind of a newbie, though I *have* been making quite a few friends, especially in the last few weeks. It turns out that, even though the league itself doesn't have that much going on over the winter, the people within the league still hold parties, get-togethers, etc.
So I guess my question is: how do I make sure that I'm invited to these events? Like I said, I'm still a bit of a newbie, so it's still kinda difficult to be in the loop regarding parties, events, etc. Should I just be blunt and say "hey, I really like hanging out with you guys, let me know if you're doing anything"? I feel like that would be a bit...desperate and forced.
I guess what I want to do is make a lasting impression. I want people to remember me and spontaneously *want* to hang out with me. I may be overthinking this, and there may not even be an answer to the question I'm asking, but I thought I'd give it a shot. | I want to be able to spend more time with my new friends over the winter at parties, events, etc., but I don't know how to make sure they don't forget me. |
t3_kdhel | AskReddit | Alright Reddit, my friends and I have a neighbor issue | A few of my friends and myself live in a house on a college campus. We like to have some fun on weekends, throwing parties and having people over for an all around good time.
Not too long ago, however, a lady moved in right behind us. Since then things have gotten a bit weird around here. For example...
The house we live in is part of a bunch of houses we call "Luperville." There's room behind all the houses to park our cars, and we have friends who park there when they come to visit or go to classes. None of us care at all, but today someone called the landlord and had warnings put on all the cars who didn't live there. THey stated that next time they were caught parking in the lot, they would be towed.
Here's a more serious occurrence. We like to throw parties. Never have they been too out of control, and if we fear that we get too loud then we tell people to leave or come inside. At the beginning of the year we had a huge party, complete with a house and yard-full of people, outdoor beer pong, and pudding wrestling; *no cops were called.*
This past weekend though, we had the cops called on us for a much lesser party. The only people that were loud were people inside the house playing beer pong. With where we're at, no one cares if people are loud on a Saturday night (again, college campus). The cops were called, presumably by this woman, and we had a few tickets given out.
Because of all of this, we want to get rid of this person. I personally would rather try to talk to this woman and get things figured out, but any ways to get a person out of a neighborhood would be nice. | A neighbor of ours is a bitch, and we want some ideas to either get her out of the neighborhood or get her to calm down |
t3_11ujoy | AskReddit | Help me get payback? What to do about a bad roommate? | My roommate (college) has a whole bunch of problems. He goes out most nights, which is fine cause it's college but when he comes back, he's drunk and turns on the lights/wakes me up.
He almost never does his laundry, his half the room is littered with clothes and books and papers because I usually pick up whatever is on my half and throw it over.
He constantly whistles and plays musics through his speakers even though he has nice Bose headphones.
He never "wants to bring his key" so I always have to leave the door unlocked.
Here's the kicker, he removes his mattress from the room two nights ago. Yesterday night, begs for me to leave the room for 30 minutes so he can be with a drunk girl with his drunk self..he doesn't have his own mattress.... I text him an hour later and he doesn't reply because he's asleep with the girl...on my bed.
I also am obviously going to have a talk with my RA but that last one was a dick move I was fine with everything else till now. | Roommate tells me to leave for 30 minutes. Ends up being the whole night with a girl on my bed. How can I get payback? |
t3_3iw2ay | relationships | My [21 F]girlfriend wants a "break" with me[20 M] to be single but wants to return to the relationship later | So my girlfriend and I met at the beginning of college two years ago. And have been officially dating for a year and a half. Things are very serious and we have even discussed marriage, kids, etc. Basically we feel like we are meant for each other.
The other night though she asked me to come down to her room to talk and she explained that because she hasn't really ever been single. (BF for 3 years in high school and then moved on to me within 2 months of that ending) She told me that she had had this feeling for a little while and wanted to be able to experience the single life now rather than later in life when she's married or whatnot. Of course college is the best place for this sort of thing.
We talked for a long while (lots of crying) about what to do and she assured me that she felt I was perfect for her. She even said that she hopes to return to our relationship after whatever we decide to do. It's clear that she doesn't want our relationship to be over.
I don't know how to handle this. As of right now we are taking the weekend apart and it is so hard being away from her. After this weekend we are going to talk again to reevaluate. I don't know what to do though because she has said that she would possibly go as far as making out with another guy she met if we were to take a break. I don't know how to take that considering that she hopes to get back together after all this. | GF has never been single and wants that time now. She wants to see other guys and flirt, but hopes to come back to me once she's "done." |
t3_35nuio | relationships | Me (19F) with my boyfriend (21m) of two months. This got more serious than I ever meant to. | I dated Andrew briefly about two and a half years ago, but we were young and it was difficult to handle. So we ended things, but stayed friends since we had no real problems with each other.
Now, just three months ago I got out of a two year long abusive relationship. That relationship has left me fucked up, I'm really sensitive to weird things, and I hate the thought of living with someone I'm dating now. I have no interest in marriage for an extremely long time.
Andrew gave me emotional support while I was leaving my ex. After I was completely single, Andrew and I hooked up. And that's all I meant it to be. But I developed feelings for him, and he did for me. At that point I figured we'd just be fwbs. But now it's been two months, and he's talking about being together forever. He says that if I ever left him, he'd go back to doing drugs and would end up homeless again. I don't know how he got so attached so fast. But I'm not there. I like him, I have feelings for him, but no where near what he has. I regret starting this relationship if it means commitment again. But I don't want to leave him hurt, he's been through so much. Any suggestions? | got out of horrible relationship, started a fling that turned into more, now he's talking about forever and I'm feeling stuck. |
t3_3s93g6 | relationships | It makes my [22M] boyfriend of six months uncomfortable when I [22F] am naked. | I like to lounge around naked. At the very least, I like to lounge around in just a shirt (read: no pants/panties) when we're watching Game of Thrones or playing a game.
This was never a problem until a few months ago. One day he asked me to put some panties on. I asked why, he said it bothered him; I was a bit taken aback but I obliged and thought nothing more of it, until the same thing happened a few days later. This time I asked *why* it bothered him (does it seem unclean? improper? just plain distracting?) and he offered no reason or justification, just that it made him uncomfortable. Again, I obliged, and let it go. Over the next several weeks I simply kept myself clothed.
A few days ago I was lying in bed still naked as we'd just had sex. I was very comfortable and about to fall asleep when he asked me to put some clothes on. This time I tried harder to find some reasoning. When we were first dating we would hang out naked together for hours, and at the time he told me how wonderful he thought it was; so I asked, what changed? Why is it different now? All he would say was that it was "just different," because "*that* was when we were first dating," like that should make any difference. If anything shouldn't we be *more* comfortable with each other than we were then?
I am utterly flabbergasted by this whole situation. **I'm very comfortable with myself, and the idea that my naked body makes him uncomfortable any time we aren't having sex bothers me on a very personal level.** If he would offer a reason, then at the very least I could try to see it from his perspective, but as things are I can't possibly understand it from any angle.
Thoughts? Opinions? | my boyfriend is no longer comfortable with me being naked, outside of during sex, and offers no reason to validate his discomfort. |
t3_3t0gkl | relationships | I'm [18F] worried that my Mom [50F] is lonely, but I'm not sure how to approach her about it. | I live with my Mother, brother, and Step-Father currently. They've been married for about 6 years. Recently I've been starting to worry that she's getting lonely. My step-father and I have never got along well, but since I started at college this year, and met my boyfriend, I've been spending a lot less time at home. While this has made things better for me, I'm worried that my Mom has been suffering for it. I recently raised the idea with her that I'd move out with a friend and she told me not to go. I've also noticed that she doesn't really spend time with any friends outside of her work; often going out to movies and things like that on her own.
This is because my step-father is sometimes out town on business, but when he's in town, they spend all their time together. I wouldn't be so worried about this, except that I think my brother and step-father treat her poorly. My step-father tends to not value her opinions or really listen to her, and my brother's only interaction with her seems to be to argue with her. This kind of behaviour was usually directed at me, but since I've not been there as much - as I've actively tried to be at home less, and my boyfriend has told me that I can always stay with him if ever I'm not feeling happy or welcome there, I'm worried they've turned on her.
I don't want to take this straight to her as I don't want to insult her. Also, I feel like if I were to tell her about this, I would be forcing her to side with me or my step-father, which has often been an issue with our family in the past, as she acts as a middle man in arguments we have.
While I love her a lot, since marrying my step-father, I feel that she's become more self absorbed, and begun to consider me as more of a burden than her child. For example, when I try to take my issues to her, she tends to dismiss them and only talk about her problems. | Since I've been at home less, I feel like my Mom is becoming lonely, and being treated poorly by my brother and step father. Not sure how to approach her. |
t3_2kxfdx | relationships | [20 M] with GF [18 F] of 2 years, Got heart broken. | Okay so this didn't happen today, but last month. I've been trying to do this with a clear head, but that's not happening.
I was with her for a little over 2 and a half years, from when i was 18 and her 16. I was in college already, and her a junior in high school.
Now I will be honest, during the first 2 months of the relationship I did cheat on her, I was a child. An inconsiderate bastard, and then on our 1 year anniversary I hung out with an ex, who is an absolutely horrible person and influence but because I am a moron. Now you are reading this and thinking, "Ha he deserves this, he had this coming" I do agree that i was wrong.. Completely wrong. Yet, she choose to stay with me. I did however change after that, and become a better human being, and spent every waking moment possible with her, and did everything i could to change the past. I even moved in with her(Her mom's a single mother, and had a large house and i did help pay rent) But in April my cousin moved down here from Canada and i got an apartment with him. Bad idea.
Now I'm back living with my parents, and can't sleep at night without some sort of drug putting me to sleep. I can not breathe without her being on my mind. Reddit help me :( | Lost that one true love, and the person of my dreams. Feels like I'm dying. What am i going to do with my life? |
t3_4jager | relationships | My fiancee (22 F) and I (27 M) want to go on a trip together this summer but our devout, strict parents are against it (together 2.5 years) | We're both religious (Catholic) and we're waiting for marriage to have sex. Our families are both also extremely devout Catholics and very strict and they've both been outraged by our plan to do this. Partly because of our religion we've both always wanted to go to Italy. We've made it clear that we will stay in separate hotel rooms and have no plans on being physically intimate. We kind of just really wanted the experience of being alone together for a significant period of time.
Her parents have especially have become angry over this. She told me that they said to her basically that they are devastated that their daughter would think to go on a vacation alone with her boyfriend (her mom actually cried over this).
It's totally insulting because we've both waited for so long to save sex for marriage (we've spent our entire youths celibate and haven't even made out), and they act as if the second we're alone far away from them we'll completely change. It feels like we've demonstrated that we are mature Catholic adults who can control ourselves but they don't seem to recognize this at all.
I'm honestly very confused by this situation because we've both wanted to do this together so badly and we don't want to be treated like children, but I don't want to cause conflict between myself and her parents or between her and her parents. My fiancee is upset by their reaction but says she just wants to go anyway. My parents are also acting like I'm a source of shame to them for this even though I'm a 27 year old man. Does it sound like going through with this is a terrible idea? | My fiancee and I are Catholic and have very strict, devout parents who have flipped out over our planned overseas trip. Should we go through with this trip despite their reaction and objections? |
t3_1xx75f | relationship_advice | If you were weighing the options of a breakup, what time frame would you give it to figure it out? | I am in this predicament. Current GF is absolutely great to be around, sex is great, and she cares for me very much. Earlier in the relationship, I can solidly say I had not been as happy since High School. I am 27 now.
But, we fight (mostly around that time of the month), I work out alot and she only has gained weight. Her mother is overweight, I am scared that she has those genes. Her Father and Brother are thin and fit. Boggles my fucking mind.
Our sleep schedule is about 3 hours different. She passes out around 9 and i drift to sleep around 11. She gets up at 5 and I get up at around 7:30
I very gently told her that I want us to be more active together. She was very happy to do so! We are running a 5k in May and are going to start going to Yoga. Also, she said she would like to work on her PMS.
My friends and family gently tell me that I can do better. I see their point, but I haven't been this happy in a very long time.
Were you in a situation like this? Did you give it a deadline to see if she would continue an effort to take better care of herself? Are there any milestones that you made? If you saw a breakup as necessary but cared alot about her, how did you make the split gentle?
I am so terribly scared of regretting a split that I initiate. | Girlfriend is great, but I see some very apparent flaws. I don't know how to make the breakup decision or if I should break up at all. |
t3_vxh9e | AskReddit | Should I tell the truth (with possible bad consuquenses) or lie for good will? | So i work at my parents business, and a few days ago my mom was teasing a colleque of mine (their employer) but she went a bit to far up to the point when i was driving her home she started to cry. My mom has a very bad habit that she thinks that whatever she says is true and often goes to far in teasing (where it becomes bullying). Ive noticed that with other colleques to (but then it was a male so nobody cried, but i, and another colleque, could really see that he was offended by my mother.
So the girl asked if i could talk to my mom about it, and i did. But she says its nit her fault she cried and started calling her names. Now the girl asked how my mom responded. Should i tell her the truth, which possibly results in her quiting. Or should i lie a bit to keep let her keep her job? :/ | should i lie to my colleuque/friend, about my mom (her boss) to make her keep her job? Or should i tell the truth, what probally results in her quiting her job. |
t3_4vo3jq | legaladvice | manager editing timecards + mistreatment of employees? | Washington state
My girlfriend is employeed at a small family owned restaurant. She often works late past her shift and comes in 10-15 minutes early. She records the exact times she begins and ends her shifts, but her manager (who is dating the owners son) goes over it with white out and enters in her exact shift. She is not paid for the missing time she worked.
Is there anything she could do? Or any where to report? She's worried about losing her job and money is very tight right now, but this is completely unprofessional and pretty much theft.
Side note:
The owner of the company is often drinking with the cooks in the kitchen, often verbally abusing the waitress staff. Any time that a concern is brought to the manager, nothing gets done. Anytime that a customer doesn't pay or runs out on the tab, the waitress for the table has to pay the tab in full. My girlfriend also works 6-8 hour shifts without a single break or lunch break. | Manager whites out timecard, doesn't pay employee for actual hours worked only hours of scheduled shift. Doesn't give breaks, owner gets drunk with cooks and yells. What can we do? |
t3_1cb4u8 | relationship_advice | We both are assholes M20, F 19. 2 year relationship. | M 20
F19
2 year (ish) relationship
I was with a girl officially for 15 months and everything was awesome. Pretty much lived together and discussed moving in officially next year.
But suddenly over about a months time we started to argue and she broke up with me over text. She told me she regretted it the next day but I didn't take her back. I started to see some other girls but it didnt feel right. I never even kissed any of them and I broke things off.
We started to see each other again about 2 months ago and we decided 2 weeks ago to make it official again......but then I started to learn things about her time off. I learned she had been sleeping with another guy during the time we started to see each other again. The last time she slept with him was 2 and a half weeks ago.....
I was hurt but technically we weren't together at the time so I forgave her. We agreed to stay friends and we would see other people and maybe get back together when things weren't quite as raw.
Well last night I went out and made out with some girl at a party. I some how ended up at my ex's place afterwards and this morning we had sex.
I told her this afternoon and she calls me a hypocrite and an asshole an I have to agree with her. I feel like shit right now and I never should have gone that far with her after being with another girl the night before.
Now we are texting again. I do really love her.... and we both are talking about how shits fucked right now but we hope to be together in the end.
Question: Any tips on being just friends? Its tearing me up that she is going out tonight, I get the feeling she is going to go back to her old "friends with benefits". Is it even possible or is everything just fucked? | = We broke up. Got back together. She "sorta" cheated.... and I'm a hypocrite. I do care for this girl. any advise? |
t3_4rk1xj | offmychest | I made it through a party without spazzing out! (I suffer from Asperger's and severe anxiety) | I don't really have lot of friends or go out to parties that much. My depression makes me want to stay locked in my room all day, my anxiety makes me freak out when I'm with other people, larger the size, more freaked out I get, and my Asperger makes me say or do stupid things that drives people away. But I been trying hard to get out more and be more social and make more friends. There's this one particular group I been trying to break into. Finally got invited to their party last night. Large group of people, big party. Made it through the entire night without completely freaking out or doing anything stupid! I was fairly calm and charming (at least by my standard :P) They invited me to go hiking with them next week :) Know it may sound silly, but for me this is a huge deal and a big step! | I suck at being social. Got invited to a party last night. Made it through without freaking out or saying and doing stupid things like usual! They want me to come hiking with them next week! |
t3_1354ad | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the most random event that has happened in your life, that actually ended up saving you from a terrible outcome? | The other night I was at my local bar, and a female was hitting on me. She ended up getting way too drunk, as did I, and she asked for me to walk her home. I walked her home, told her I wasn't going in. She then invited me in, to where I walked her to her apartment door. She then pulled me in after me trying to say I am not coming in. She then decided to strip in front of me, and minutes later started puking. I then left and went home. Next day, after work, I go back to my local bar, where my bartender friend, working both nights says to me as soon as I walk in, "that girl has herpes." | walked drunk chick home, she tried to fuck me. She puked, I left. She ended up having herpes. Her vomitting kept me disease free. |
t3_lszl8 | AskReddit | How do you know when you're an adult? Or, how do you get to it? | I'm twenty-nine and I am married, with a dog and a car and a (rented) home. I still feel like a kid who doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. I see people who seem put-together. But I just really still feel like a kid. When does that "go away"? Does it ever "die"? I want to feel like I can settle down and have kids, but there's something tearing into me and telling me not to. Does that ever go away, or do I just kill it myself by moving forward? The wife really wants kids. But my mind, it's making this whole marriage thing pretty difficult. We've been together for four years and all I can think about sometimes are the things I'm not doing because I'm with her. She seems pretty grown up (although emotionally not so much in some cases, like anyone), and I just don't feel like I have my shit together. I have a career and everything, man. I just don't get why I feel so like this. | married, dog/car/home/career, still feel like a kid who wants to travel and shit and be by myself rather than have kids, does this go away? |
t3_fix0o | AskReddit | Am I crazy or psychic or what? | Last night I watched *Dreamcatcher* on Netflix; it was based on a Stephen King book and it was surprisingly good. Totally worth watching.
So here's the thing; I remember, many years ago I saw a really crap horror movie (*Cabin Fever,* maybe) and there was a mentally challenged character that they called "Dudditz". His name was Douglas, but since he spoke all herpy-derpy, that was how he (and everyone else) said his name.
I remember thinking at the time, that it seemed pretty contrived; I remember thinking **at that time** that it sounded like something Stephen King might come up with; he could pull that off. The rest of *Cabin Fever*—if that was the movie—was completely forgettable.
So now—flash forward to *Dreamcatcher:* I had never heard of the movie before it appeared on my Netflix recommendations. Sure enough a few minutes in, and they're talking about their friend, "Dudditz," who, surprise, surprise... is *special.*
Because the movie touches on clairvoyance and shit—and because it's Stephen King—I'm getting a little weirded out. I do some Googling about *Cabin Fever* and I can't find anything in what I read, that mentions any Dudditz. Am I mad or what? | Is there a movie besides *Dreamcatcher* that has a herp-derp character called Dudditz? |
t3_2qz4jm | jobs | Training guides as technical writing samples? | Hi r/jobs. I had trouble locating relevant answers to my question online, so I was hoping you all might be able to help me out.
I currently work for a large company and for the past several months I have been working as a data entry clerk. Our department had no training materials when I was hired, so I was tasked with creating them from scratch. I am hoping to use the guides I created as part of a technical writing sample for a job application.
My question: Am I allowed to use these training manuals as writing samples or are they considered the company's property at this point? Also, if these manuals contain screenshots of account information from company-specific systems (phone numbers, addresses, etc.) would I be allowed to use them at all? Should I be censoring this information?
As I don't have many other relevant technical writing samples, this is posing somewhat of a challenge for me. Any suggestions for how I could make this work?
Thanks in advance for your help! | I would like to use training materials I created at my company for a job application, but I'm worried they are considered the company's property or contain sensitive information that would make them unusable. Advice? |
t3_4hgsxc | relationships | My wife (30'sF) and I (30'sM) have a 1 month old; BIL is having an out-of-state wedding which is to be "child free"; family insists wife attend sans newborn. | Throwaway account.
Basic facts: My BIL lives out of state, and is getting married in a month. He has asked my wife (his older & only sister) to be in his wedding party. The bride and groom have stated that their wedding is to be "child free."
Unfortunately, we have a 1 month old right now. He is, and will continue to be, breast fed through the wedding date. We have a 2 year old as well.
To add to the sense of unreasonableness of it all, BIL seems to expect *me* to attend the wedding as well. The problem is, we don't have anybody with whom we can leave our children for that amount of time, other than my in-laws - who will also be attending the wedding. My wife's only plan is to leave the children with me while she attends.
My wife is extremely uncomfortable leaving our new baby while she drives out of state for a multi-day wedding event. Her family expects her to attend, and is supporting the BIL as far as "child free" is concerned.
Wife is really between a rock and a hard place on this one. I have not gotten directly involved in the discussion because this is not my direct family; however, I am far from pleased regarding this whole thing and I told my wife that her brother has used a "significant number of points up" with this decision.
We're looking here for the best way to approach our family regarding this issue (family in this case is my wife's brother/his fiancee and my wife's parents), with the goal of minimizing the bad feelings (on all sides) that are likely to arise from any decision. We understand and support peoples' right to have child-free weddings; however we also recognize that people can't always have their cake and eat it too. | Wife upset that her brother insists that she attend his out-of-state, child-free wedding without our newborn. Advice sought. |
t3_n6x1r | AskReddit | Boba Fett and the Predator both crash land on the same planet. Both are aware of each other's presence, both are aware of where the other one crashed, and both want to kill the other. Who wins? Why? | **The Arena:**
Both parties crashland in a jungle part of the planet. Within five miles is an abandoned colony, with extra food, ammunition, medical supplies, weapons, a communications device, and one spaceship in which party(ies) can escape the planet.
The jungle itself is full of fauna that could conceivably kill either party if they were weakened enough. However, this also leaves a food supply large enough so that either could survive indefinitely.
**The Weapons:**
Predator's working equipment include combi-stick, wristblades, cloaking device, self destruct, health syringes, explosive darts, mask with infrared vision, speargun, and shoulder cannon.
Boba Fett's working equipment includes his helmet, an EE-3 Carbine Rifle, Tenloss DXR-6 Disruptor rifle, blaster pistol, concussion grenade launcher, wrist mounted flamethrower, short burst jetpack, and wrist mounted laser.
**NOTE:** Boba Fett's helmet includes infrared vision, motion sensor, sound sensor, a rangefinder, and an environmental filter system. | Both have a shit ton of weapons, both have infrared and other electronic sensing devices, predator has cloaking, boba has jet pack, predator has physical strength advantage, boba has more equipment. |
t3_19hk3y | relationships | Should this bother me? Friends are saying I am just paranoid. (F22,M27) | I've lived with my bf for 3 years, I drop him off at the bus every day for work, and pick him up..same time every night. He always wears a button up shirt over a tee shirt. Always.. And today when I was dropping him off at the bus, I noticed his shirt from yesterday laying on the seat. I don't know if he pulled it out of his bag, or took it off in the car with me last night.. Can't remember but usually he always wears them. It was inside out and still fully buttoned. Maybe he got hot at work and took it off? I think he was wearing his work shirt underneath and when he wears that one he doesn't mind not wearing the outer one, I just dunno why it's buttoned. Anyways, he was still home on time, at the bus stop right on time and hasn't been texting anyone or vice versa, so should this be something I worry about? I tend to get paranoid over small things. When he got out of the car I saw it and asked if he needed it and he said no and asked me to take it inside.. He didn't sound like he was hiding anything, he doesn't even know I'm slightly bothered by this.
But should I be? There are no other signs of anything. He wasn't late, no excuses for anything, we had sex that morning even.
So just tell me if I'm panicking for nothing. | Found bfs overshirt in car, inside out.. He wasn't late and no ones been texting him or anything and also he asked me to take it inside. I have no other reason to worry, but should I be worried? |
t3_sz3od | dating_advice | Should texting ever determine the pace of dating | f/20 here. Gone out a couple of times with different people who have turned out to be 'duds' this past year but honestly texting and phone conversations were pretty good and we kept in contact pretty well. The new person i've been seeing these past couple of weeks is not a texter or a caller.
We see eachother when we can at least once a week and have a pretty awesome time when we do and have gone past the usual bar scene into more intimate dates.Nothing serious such as a relationship yet(though understandable since I like to 'test the waters'). Normally, I probably wouldn't have any issues with the texting but some of my friends see that as a bad sign and suggest that I should make an effort to text or call this person.
My personal feelings are to take it slow, give some space and let things build up to frequent calling or texting because honestly it feels like we have more to talk about and there is never a lull in the conversation BUT my female friends who are in a relationship suggest that I could be taking things too slow with the texting issue. | don't text often despite having been on a few dates over the past month, friends think this is a bad thing. |
t3_364s5n | relationships | I (18M) am new to being in a real relationship with my girlfriend (18F) of five months. Both of us are slightly (and no so slightly) damaged goods. | So I've been with my current girlfriend for almost five months now, and for the most part things are incredible. I've never been so happy in general, and we are really good together. We are around each other almost anytime we can be, and
I've never felt so completely infatuated and in love with anyone ever before. That being said, there are obviously some problems. With her, she was previously in an extremely toxic relationship before. She also suffers pretty badly from anxiety and depression (Her mother is addicted to pills, her father killed himself about two years ago...). As for myself, my mother and father were both horrible junkies, I was adopted by my Uncle (Mother's brother) and his wife (I'm very happy with them, I lived with my uncle on and off most of my life), and I've pretty bad experiences in a few relationships in the past.
So really I'm just looking for any advice that seems useful to keeping things happy and healthy. I try to do a lot of things for her, and for us, just to make both of us, and she does the same for me. I tend to be pretty insecure, so I tend to doubt everything and worry too much about how things will work out. Also, if anyone knows any ways I can help her when she has moments of anxiety and intense sadness. And ways to keep myself sane when it's happening. I'm extremely happy, but when things get hard I wish I didn't feel so lost, and helpless. Thanks.
( | Extremely happy in current relationship, I'm generally insecure, girlfriend is anxious and sometimes depressed, how can I help her? How can I help myself? Anything for making a relationship strong in the long term? |
t3_2ifota | relationship_advice | Me [25 M] with my gf [25 F] of 7 months, Said "I love you" for first time. Need advice | Have been with my girlfriend for 7 months now and we where in bed, really romantic, candles lit and she started to ask me about what the difference between love and like are. Iv been wanted to tell her for about a month that i was in love with her but thought it might be to early but i thought i was would just go for it so i said to her when things went quiet. "im in love with you". Now she is Asian so her english is very good but not 100% so she asked me what thats means and if its means the same as "loving someone" I said yes it does and she said she loved me too. My problem was i didnt expect the first things to come out of her mouth after i said "Im in love with you" to be a question about what it means, so it kind of threw me abit and lost the romance i felt in the situation. So during the moment after i kind of made a funny noise to try and make her laugh. She laughed and said "nooo give me the romantic moment back" basically saying i had broken the romantic moment by making a funny noise. I didnt mean to do this i just didnt feel the romance so didnt realise. The romance kinda of broke for me when she asked me what i meant by "Im in love with you".
My question is "how important is this moment for girls? Have I ruined the relationship by being silly in this srs moment between a couple? I am worried i have blown it with a girl i love because i might have ruined a precious moment where you say i love you to a girl. (bit of info about my personality that she doesn't know - I suffer from anxiety so i overthink things and am insecure but i obviously hide this from her because i think i will eventually get over it. I prefer to fake it until i make it than tell her the truth) | Said i love you for first time, made funny noise and ruined romantic moment am now worried i have destroyed relationship cause of importance of first saying this. |
t3_y68rb | AskReddit | Have you ever been asked for a job on the spot for knowing so much about a particular topic? | Today I was in the mall and decided to go into the Sony store while my sister went to do whatever she does at the mall. I guess she buys clothes and stuff. Anyway I was browsing the cool TVs, cameras and other overpriced shit that Sony sells that I'll never buy. While looking at their high end video cameras, mostly looking at the price, a guy came up to me and asked if I needed help. I thought for a moment and asked if they had any high end headphones in stock. He said, "uh...sure." This dude looked like he was the floor manager guessing by the sweet suit he had on. "Here's the noise cancelling headphones, I believe these are the best." I replied, "I was looking for open backed headphones, like for home listening." He asked me why. I explained to him about how letting sound in doesn't actually decrease quality, it allows the music to breathe and form a more naturally, like speakers do. I talked about how noise cancelling are really only good at canceling out drone noises like airplane engines and subways. I talked about Sony's really good line of reference monitors. He stared at me and asked, "Are you looking for a job? I could really use someone who understands headphones like you do." This was the first time anyone had offered me a job, I'm only sixteen. Unfortunately I had to decline because I go to boarding school and I'm only in the area for a few weeks. Has something like this ever happened to you? What topic was it in? Did you accept the job? | I was in the Sony store and a guy offered me a job because of my knowledge of headphones. Have you ever had something like that happen to you? |
t3_4h912d | relationships | My (20f) half-jewish friend(19f)'s boyfriend(19m) told holocaust jokes around her last night, and said "I don't care" when she asked him to stop. I'm at my wit's end with this guy, how do I help her to see that it's not worth staying? | I thought my friend had the perfect, or near perfect, relationship with a boy at our uni. We've all become friends with him, and my boyfriend is good friends with him.
Some of the things he's been saying in private to one of my best friends recently just make me want to tear my hair out. He constantly makes fun of her (Christian) religion, laughs about God and how he's "definitely going to hell", "God's a dickhead anyway". I'm a total atheist, and I wouldn't especially be affected by people saying things like this in my company. I was brought up CofE though, so I can remember the painful sting when someone insults something that is so important in your life.
He's recently said things like "I wouldn't cry if you left me, but I know you'd be in pieces if I left you", and last night they were with a group of friends making holocaust jokes. My friend reminded him that her father's family are jewish, and he said "I don't care" and carried on.
I can't impose anything on her, and I know she really loves this guy and the idea of their planned future life together. I'm worried she's swayed by the fact that he's particularly wealthy and always likely to be, she's the sort of person that thinks a bit like that, ugggh but she deserves a million times better than this. It's difficult to see someone's faults when you love them, but I just want to do anything I can to help her get out of there, or help her see that she needs to. | My friend's boyfriend is borderline, if not fully, emotionally abusive. How do I help her see it & end it? |
t3_2pljdr | relationships | Girlfriend (30f) me (27m) have not been intimate for almost a year | I started to date a girl about two years ago. She's great and everything was awesome. We had sex like rabbits and we're great together.
Not very far into the relationship she realized she was pregnant when I was on vacation with my buddies. Didn't tell Me on my vacation till I got back home. She told me she had a miscarriage and I consoled her and we talked about it alot.
Our sex life has been horrible if not non existent since that happened. About a year ago.
About 3 months ago I'm cleaning up some shit in the house and find a doctors appointment from way back for an abortion. That was quite the shock for me. Wondering why she lied about it? Anyways we talked and I got the feeling that it's a hard decision and didn't wanna put that pressure on me which is understandable. I consoled her again and we got through it.
Now it's been a full year since that has happened and she has absolutely no interest in sex or any kind of intimacy. I bring it up and ask her what's going on and talk to me about it but she said she's fine. Which I get the feeling she actually is fine. I try to spice things up by texting her dirty stuff and saying sexy comments but no replies that intruige her.
I feel bad about bringing the sex situation up with her cause she ends up getting upset so I leave it alone for a while. One Month, two month, three months now and I have not said anything to intice her into sex......what the fuck am i to do here. It's so frustrating, I tell her she's beautiful everyday, slap her ass, help out when I can. I feel like I'm not asking for much and it's tearing us apart. | girlfriend got pregnant. Told me miscarriage. She. Got an Abortion and it's ruined our sex life and I need advice |
t3_1qfukc | relationships | Me [18M] and my ex [18F] have a weird relationship.. I might need some help. | So I've been dating this girl, on/off for a little over 3 years. For a while we stopped talking completely. But recently we've started talking again, at first I tried acting like I didn't care about her anymore, even though I obviously do.
But for some reason she started talking about how she loves me and about how I was her first true love. And then I said "well to bad I wasn't your last true love" kind of as a cheesy joke.
And then she got all into the whole "oh you never know what could happen". And then we talked about some other stuff, which somehow led to some "other" things happening ;) if you know what I mean. Now I know this all doesn't sound like a big deal, and like we should probably just get back together. But it never works out so well.
We always date for a little while sometimes a few months and then we argue, break up, and don't speak for the next month. And then the cycle repeats itself. Now don't get me wrong, I truly have feelings for her. I'd Even say I love her. And I know she has strong feelings for me.i just don't know what to do anymore.
What's your opinion on what I should do? Should I just try and keep us staying as friends since that seems to wok the best? Or should I try and fix the broken relationship?
Sorry for rambling about needless crap, I'm mostly doing this to vent. (Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for that). | Me and my ex have a really weird relationship. We love each other,but it just doesn't work out. And I wanted to vent cause I'm sick of not venting so deal with it. :) |
t3_1ddtze | relationship_advice | I never thought I would have to deal with this. | I very recently started seeing a girl that I have had a crush on for the past 4-5 years. Everything is going so well, but she dropped a bomb on me the other night.
For financial reasons, she says that she is moving across the country to be around family. If this was any other girl, it would still suck but not this bad. I NEVER thought she had ANY interest in me, which is why I never pursued it until recently.
I told her that I would help her in any way in order to get her to stay and see where this goes, but so far she is saying that this has been in the works for awhile, and that she doesn't want to do it but she feels like she needs to.
I am going to spend as much time with her as possible before she leaves, and have reservations for a nice dinner this week. I feel absolutely terrible and depressed right now and I don't know what do do.
Do I keep fighting for her to stay? Do I savor the time that we have left? SUCH a horrible situation. | start seeing girl of my dreams, she is moving across the country in a few weeks. how do i get her to stay? do I let her go without a fight? |
t3_3vsp1x | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 3 months, I'm having trouble staying hard in bed, not sure what to do | Hey Reddit, I'm currently dating the most amazing girl I've ever met. I'm also currently struggling with depression and am making some pretty big changes in my life as I'm moving on to a proper career after graduating college. It's been very difficult for me, and I'm really having a hard time keeping my spirits up. This has, unfortunately, been affecting my relationship.
The really short version is that when she and I start making out, I get turned on, and in the transition from that to sex, I lose my erection. It's to the point where I'm afraid to initiate with her, even though I really want it, because I don't know if I'll be able to stay hard long enough to make it happen and I don't want to disappoint her again. My depression is making me worry that it's something with her, that I'm not actually attracted to her, but the way being with her turns me on means that can't be true. This has been going on for about a month.
I don't want to lose her, but I also want her to be happy. I know she's not happy right now, and my depression is also making me think about breaking up with her because I think it will be better for her, even though I don't want her to leave. Because I don't know why she'd want to stay with me.
I'm seeing a therapist and doing my best to work on this, but last night I thought I was ready to have sex with her (and I was really turned on) but it happened again and now she's (understandably) very upset with me. I feel like an asshole. | My girlfriend turns me on, but I can't keep it up long enough for sex. I'm worried it's because of my depression, but she feels like it's because I'm not attracted to her. |
t3_1ebqm4 | relationships | [F19] being harassed by [F21x5] and being victim-blamed by Dean of College | I [F19] have been being harassed by a group of five or so girls [F21] at my college for the past 18 months or so. Basically it started because I started dating a guy in their friend group that one of them liked. I had no way of knowing that, and didn't know until after I started dating my boyfriend.
Last semester my boyfriend was abroad and the harassment got worse (I'm talking people banging on the door to my room and calling me a slut and whore through the door, among other things). So I met with one of the Deans of our college (she is also in charge of the Honor Code at our school) and asked for a no contact order (basically a restraining order) to be placed between one of the girls and myself. I struggled with that decision as I did not want to make the harassment worse.
The harassment never stopped, but I had been really sick this semester and had some family crises at home (I was on medical leave for over a month and there was a situation where my mother- a school principal- had been targeting in a serious school shooting threat) so I just met with the Dean to report a violation of the no contact order.
The Dean [F50ish] proceded to tell me that she didn't know if she could do anything about the further harassment because she "can't force people to be nice to others" and because the biggest incident was in February. Additionally she said that I had been harassing the other girls involved- and one such way was that I had filed for the no-contact order (wut?).
Anyway, Reddit, I'm looking for advice on how to handle this- I am being harassed and now being told that I am the harasser (and oh my goodness, I have no fucking clue how that is being spun). | [F19] being harassed in college for 18 months. Finally gain courage to file for no contact order. No contact order is broken, being told I am the harasser for filing for a no contact order. What do? |
t3_2hdhka | relationships | Does this mean my (23M) girlfriend (23F) is not right for me? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months now. In the beginning there was a lot of sparks and chemistry, and even to this day when we are together we have awesome chemistry and great times together.
However, even though I have a lot of feelings for her, I can't help myself from checking out and imagining myself with other women. Even when we're together and a hot girl passes I have to force myself not to check her out as I don't want to hurt my girls feelings by doing so. When I'm not with her, it's the same thing as I can't help but imagine what it'd be like if I was dating a cute girl I come across. It's not so much the sex with another person, but more of what my life would be like with another person. That's not to say it isn't great already, but I still get these urges and feelings that I want to experience others. This is also my first serious relationship.
That being said, I would never cheat on my girlfriend. I care about her a lot. She has told me she loves me, but I have not told it to her back as I want to know 100% I do before I say it. I do know that she would make a great partner and always be there for me in the future, in good health and bad. It makes me feel guilty that I can't reciprocate the same amount of love she has for me.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Is it normal for a guy to feel like this in a serious relationship? Would it be worth it to break it off for these reasons? Or am I just being a dumb guy who should stick out for the long run? | Getting into my first serious relationship with a girl who I deeply care about, but I keep envisioning myself with other girls. Does this mean I should break it off? |
t3_358q7i | tifu | TIFU by forgetting to complete the second part of my final exam. | I had a final exam today that I was to submit online which started at 11 am and ended at 2 pm. I submitted the first part of my exam right at 11 am thinking that was the only part that I had to complete. I was just about to go to bed when I figured I will go online to see if my professor went to grade that and he did, I got a 90 on it. I noticed right beneath that, it said Final exam questions. That is when I remembered that he said there were also going to be 15 questions in addition to the first part of the final exam which was really a project. I immediately checked my email and he sent myself and 3 other students a reminder at 1:30 pm that we have 30 minutes to complete the question portion of the final exam.
I tend to be a moderately paranoid individual and tend to overreact to things. I am starting to panic because I know that if you do not complete the final exam you will fail the class. However, I don't know if that applies if I only complete half of the final exam. Thankfully, my professor is a really laid back guy and is very nice so I am hoping that he will just give me a zero for the second part of the exam. I sent him an email telling him that I screwed up and forgot to complete the questions and I am waiting for a response from him and hope for the best.
I went and did come calculations to see how much it will impact my grade if I get a zero on the second part of the exam, and it will take my grade which is currently about a 90-94 percent all the way down to a 67 percent or possibly fail the course all because I am an idiot and forgot to answer 15 simple questions. | My grade will probably go from an A to a D or F because I forgot to answer 15 simple questions on my final exam. |
t3_2fhvn9 | relationships | Huge depression - i just need to say something to someone | Hey! I'm a 16 year old boy and have lost everything sosially. I just need to say this to someone. It started in 9th grade where i liked this girl very much! She was like hugging everyone at the party and such but when i came she just clapped me on the head. I was one of the most populare boys in my school and everyone liked me so for someone to reject me was terrible.
I was in tears and really sad! I started going out alot less, i stopped talking to people and suddntly my populatiry stopped. At the end of 10th grade i had 3 friends left.
No one invited me to anything in my summver vacation except my 3 freinds. I was abou to start highschool and one of my best friends left me to go to another school away, i was really sad and was hopinh this was my oppertunity to start a new life at the new school.
However, 3 weeks into school and i still havnt made a single friend! the 2 friends i have is getting new friends and they aren't talking to me anymore, and the few times they do all they talk about is the party i wasnt invited to.
I was getting mega depressed but it went fine until today. I sat down with my old friends and everyone got a text saying they were invited to a party except me and i was completly forgotten and they all just left me alone because i wasnt invited. I dont know what to do anymore, i just want to get this out! i feel like i dont have friends and i spend my days alone and becomming more and more alone every day. I just want to stop going to school, drop out, and just... stop. | Went from being super populare to becomming a loser with no friends who aint even invited to parties, and im so depressed im thinking about dropping out of school and i have no idea what to do. |
t3_3ye17z | relationships | I [F19] and ex [M21] attempting the 'friends' stage post break-up, Advice? | ANY advice or opinions are **greatly** appreciated.
I [19F] was dating my **ex** boyfriend [21] for 1.5 years it wasn't the best relationship we made plenty of amateur mistakes and we were obviously incompatible in the relationship department otherwise we would still be together. I've accepted this and have moved on/ am moving on.
Its now been 6 months since we broke up and have started hanging out as friends **ONLY** upon invite to mutual friends events OR if one of us organises an event and all our mutual friends are invited. We ended mutually I guess you could say and are not on bad terms or ever been on bad terms since our breakup, However being **'friends'** has been very weird at least for me its hard and in some cases uncomfortable.
At some events we have gotten on extremely well where it got to the point of thinking 'I totally forgot how much we had in common.' Other times we have spoke and its just been 'How am I suppose to act In this situation.' I have noticed that he tends to throw insults my way at least once every time I see him and shrug me off to some degree but then will try and interact with me and joke around with me. He likes to bring up the girl whom he liked while we were together in conversation to people when im around I just pretend I don't hear what he says and make no eye-contact so that It doesn't come across like I am making any sort of scene. Even though I want to scream haha. What really annoys me about him though is how he acts differently towards me around different people....he will shrug me off when he's around certain people and when its just him and I he acts completely the opposite- What does this mean? I understand that guys need to have this manly 'idgaf' attitude on the exterior do you think this is why?
My question here is, has anyone ever been **'friends'** with there ex partner before? How did it go and do you have any tips for me on how to handle situations? | My ex and I are attempting to be friends post-breakup, I need advice on his actions and how to handle just being friends after such a intimate relationship. |
t3_u1sc2 | AskReddit | I just realized I'm going to fail my degree and wreck my future. Reddit, what is your "Rock Bottom" moment? | Title pretty much says it all. I've wasted nearly 4 years of my life, and thousands of dollars of my parents' hard earned money. I have no money of my own. No qualifications. No job lined up. No future. But most of all, I feel an overwhelming sense of remorse over the fact that I've let my parents down, and it's tearing me apart.
I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I don't want you to tell me everything will be ok. In part because I don't deserve it, but mostly because I would like you to share the story behind the lowest point in *your* life, and whether you came back from it. I've read some pretty inspiring stories from you all before, lots of them. And that's all I'm looking for right now. Some inspiration. | all 22 years of my life have been a complete waste. I've pretty much hit rock bottom. What was the moment in your life where you felt the most hopeless? |
t3_4maeyl | relationships | My[14M] parents[40sF/M] want to transfer me to another high school because my grades are bad. | My parents want to transfer me to an easier school because apparently my grades are so bad, that at this rate I'll end up going to a community college.
For context, I have about a 3.5 to 3.6 GPA and I'm just finishing up freshman year.
Now, I really really don't want to transfer schools, but I don't really know how the college system and everything works. Different people have told me polarizing accounts of education, and will a 3.5 gpa freshman year really mean I'll only be able to get into community colleges?
To my parents at least, that's what they think. But, again, I really don't want to transfer schools since my friends are all at the school I'm currently in and I don't want to make a transition into another school if I have to, especially considering my lack of confidence and low self esteem. I am also extremely short for a male at 5 foot and 2 inches, so I don't think I'll be able to make the transition very well.
My grades have been suffering mostly because of my lack of motivation to do homework or study. I just can't seem to find the drive to succeed and I don't think my parents understand this. I just don't have ambition. They keep rambling on about how I'm smart and how I'm ruining my life by not achieving my true potential, but I just really don't have the desire to succeed. My one dream in life is probably to have a family, but that's really all there is to it.
So I'd just really like advice on how I can maybe convince my parents to not transfer me to another school, or maybe if I'm the one in the wrong here. Thanks. | My parents want to transfer me to another high school because my grades aren't satisfactory and I really don't want to make the transition. |
t3_2zath0 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my mom [54F], I've boldly notice favoritism and want to cut contact, how? | Basically the last couple years my mom has pressured me to let her claim me on her taxes as a dependent in exchange for $120/month (1/3-1/4 of my living expenses). I was ok with this, but i recently learned that she has also been receiving $3,000 extra per year because of what i've been paying myself in tuition.
I brought it up this year when i heard about it and she refused to reimburse me the $3k for this year (or any previous years), so i had to file independent and only receive half of that.
I recently found out that she has been giving my sister [23f] "kickbacks" every year, and not me, which she denied.
I've been a little sour about the tax thing, because affording tuition has been difficult and that extra $9k would have been amazingly helpful. I realize that money is now gone and I should have filed independent if I was, and i have no one to blame but myself.
I just found out that my mom is taking my sister on a cruise (she has also given her a month long vacation in Europe in the past), in a couple months and neither one of them have told me. This was set in stone before the tax thing even came up.
Now I don't think I'm entitled to a cruise, but this favoritism has made me want to completely cut contact for a couple months at least, and I'm just looking for some terminology to best explain it to them. My mom is incredibly good at interrupting, so a phone call would have to be well-done to work. | mom buys her golden ginger child a lot and tries to get money from me, how to tell her I'm out? |
t3_2z85pj | relationships | I [23 M] just found out my girlfriend [22 F] is actually [17 F]. | Before I get started, I still want to be with her, let's call her Megan, and yes this is legal in my state (US).
So here is the background:
We first met via online dating last year. This entire time Megan told me that she was 22. In retrospect, some things never quite added up. And in order to maintain the illusion there are a few aspects of her life that were made up as well, such as she has her own place (but her parents always visited), her own car (that was recently stolen), and is a pre-med at college (but didn't know where her college was located). The list goes on.
Yesterday she told me that she was actually 17. And still a junior in HS. She'll be turning 18 this year. I was initially upset, which I think is fair. After a while, I came to the decision that I still love her and want to be with her. She said she never expected things to escalate between us and she always planned on telling me but was to scared to.
So here is my plight, now that she has told me, things have gotten weird between us. We both are still really into each other, but she feels uncomfortable around me now. How do I tell her that I don't care about the age disparity? How do I get her to be comfortable around me again? | Girlfriend revealed she is actually 17 not 22 and now is uncomfortable around me, how do I get her to be comfortable around me again? |
t3_1j6hfj | relationships | [23/F] I have been dating the same guy for a month [27M] and want him to be boyfriend status. What's the best way to do this? How did you officially ask out your SO? | I have been dating a great guy for a month now. We have been friends for the last two years and things just started getting serious. We seeing each other 2-3 times a week and are sleeping together, always texting, he's constantly holding my hand and has started calling me sweet pet names. It's really nice. It seems the like right time to bring up the topic of boyfriend.
It shouldn't be hard to just ask "Are you my boyfriend?" because of how easy and smoothly things are going for us. But I am really nervous to get those words out!
In the past I have just causally dated and never wanted a boyfriend. Now that I do I don't know how to take that next step! I don't want to wait too much longer to ask. It would great to have the clarity and to be sure that he feels the same.
So how did you ask out your boyfriend/girlfriend? Or is there a ideal time to ask him out? Like before/ after, in public/private? Should I wait for him to ask me, or should I just do it? Any advice would be great! | I am nervous to bring up the topic to him but, how do I take the next step in the relationship and finally ask him if he is my boyfriend? |
t3_4i1l6d | relationship_advice | I (20M) got my friend (22F) a gift, and I haven't heard from her since it was delivered. | I've been friends with this girl for about 7 months. I've had a crush on her the whole time, and I admitted this to her a month ago when she told me she was starting to see someone new. We decided to stay friends, but I've haven't been able to really move on yet. But that's not what I'm going to focus on here.
Her birthday was two weeks ago. I made her a sweet little card and gave that to her in person. She loved it, so that was a success. Still, I felt like I needed to get her something else, something practical. She hadn't been sleeping well, so I decided to get her a white noise machine. I ordered it from Amazon and had it shipped to her house as a gift.
9 days ago, it was supposedly delivered (according to Amazon). I talked to her a little in the morning before it came, and things seemed alright between us. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then she left for work, and while she was gone the package was delivered.
And, as stated before, I haven't heard from her since then. I really don't know why. There are times when she shuts her phone off and doesn't talk to anyone for a few days, but for her to do that after getting a present is just weird. She's the kind of person who always thanks people for things like that. I'm a little afraid that it was delivered to the wrong house, or it was stolen. What scares me more than that is the thought of her shutting me out *because* of my present.
I don't have a clue as to what's happening, and it's beginning to frustrate me. I've considered reaching out to one of her roommates and asking them, or simply going to her house to ask myself. But I don't want to come off as nosey or prying and ruin our friendship.
Should I just continue to wait this out and hope that things are okay? | I sent my friend a gift through Amazon and now she isn't talking to me. Don't know what to make of it or how to deal with it. |
t3_2uwtyu | relationships | I asked her to be my gf but.... | I finally asked the person I liked for a long time to go out with me. She said she'll think about it. But almost a week now and she said she hasn't really thought about it and she doesn't seem all that bothered. I told her I'll be okay and won't be mad if she says no I will understand. I just want her to be straight with me so I can move on if she doesn't like me back.
What did she mean when she said she didn't think about it? Idk if she's just afraid to reject me since we're good friends.. Or just don't care... Idk what to think. It seems selfish of me to ask her to go out with me but I just had to or I'll regret not having done it my whole life. | what does it mean when she said she didn't think about it? Not interested? Scared to decline me? |
t3_11xhuw | AskReddit | Reddit, what do you feed your cat(s)? | I am adopting a cat from a local shelter in the next couple of weeks. I want to provide him or her with the best possible diet, but I have gotten a lot of conflicting information about raw food v. cooked, canned v. dry, homemade v. commercial, etc. Naturally, I figured I would come to the cat experts of Reddit for help.
I've taken care of a cat before, but my parents always chose what to feed her (since they were paying for the food). They tended to go for the cheapest option, but I want to treat my new best friend like I would a son or daughter.
Ideals aside, I'm dirt poor (about to graduate and become a writer...). What is the healthiest option for my kitty if I'm on a budget? | I'm a college student who is on a budget and wants the best for my new furry friend. What do you suggest? |
t3_efql6 | AskReddit | My parents are selling their belongings for grocery money. How can I get them some help? | *[Throw away account here]*
My parents have always generously taken care of their friends and family when in need. If someone's refrigerator ran empty, they'd deliver groceries. If someone needed to talk, they were always willing to listen. At the end of my senior year of high school, my parents and I welcomed in my grown sister, my elderly grandparents, my recently relocated uncle, their unemployed friend, 3 dogs, 2 cats, and a bird into their modest 4 bedroom house. Those are just a few simple examples.
Now it's just the two of them (everyone has since moved out/married/passed away/etc as of 2008) and they need help. Here is the situation:
* Step-dad had a 20% pay cut back in 2007
* Mom lost her part-time jobs, went back to school in 2009, still can't find a new job
* Their house is worth less than the mortgage on it now
* They are in a lot of debt from using credit cards to get by, which they can no longer use
* They've taken all the right steps in negotiating lower interest rates and payments where they could
* They are current in their mortgage payments, but that's about it
* Their income isn't low enough for food stamps, etc.
* They've been selling their belongings on Craigslist and eBay to buy groceries
They're ashamed of their situation and will not tell anyone. They won't go to a food bank because they feel there are people worse off than them.
Any advice? Is there any way I can get them help anonymously? | My parents have helped a lot of people in rough places. Now they need help, but are too ashamed to ask for any. |
t3_im6st | Advice | Reddit, I need you to help me get over my x | So, here's the story. I started dating this girl a few years ago, we went out for over a year and a half, and we both very much loved each other.
As time went on though, physically things died out, till eventually she broke it off because she was no longer emotionally and physically attracted to me. She still loved me as a brother though, and I still loved her, both as a sister and someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Cut to more then a year and a half later, we still hang out once or twice every week, and talk every day.
I love her more then anything, but I know its never going to work and I know this is what's hindering me from meeting someone else. I've tried not talking to her, but I keep coming back because she is still one of my best friends.
Reddit, please give me any advice to get over her. If possible I would really like to remain friends with her, but just be over her so I can find someone else for myself and I can be happy for her. | My x of 1.5 years broke up with me but we remained very close friends for over another 1.5 years, she sees me as a brother, I still am not over her but wish to be. |
t3_17xy94 | relationships | My (29/m) wife (29/f) attempted to solicit a relationship with one of my best friends. How do I process my feelings? | So, while I was watching the Superbowl, my phone died. I wanted to check an update on a sports website, but my phone was dead. I grabbed my wife's phone on the table while she was in the kitchen. When she walked in the room she grabbed it immediately out of my hands and began to act weird. I knew instantaneously that something was amiss. We have always used each other's phones and shared computers with never having barriers. I told her that I knew that something was up, even if I didn't know specifically what it was.
Finally, last night she cam clean. She said that she had developed some feelings with one of my best friends. He hangs out at our house all the time, and is great with our two boys. Based on the information that I gathered from both of them, it was mainly my wife. He attempted to shut her down several times. But last night she essentially was sitting right next to me while texting him. I can't believe that she could disregard me in such a callous way.
We have been together ten years, and things over the last few years have been great. We're a middle class family, educated, and typically live a happy existence. This just crushed my world though. There is no way that I can be around my friend without thinking of her. But the thing that hurts the most, how can I leave her and let my boys be raised by divorced parents? I can't even imagine another male coming into their lives and parenting them. And I can't imagine giving up half time to her. I want to know how to process all of the feelings? She tells me that she has this need for attention (and she honestly has been going to therapy to deal with that emotional inefficiency). She claims that it is easy for her to hid behind her phone, but that really she doesn't want anything to happen. I don't know what to think of that. She is begging me to stay. What is r/relationships' thoughts? | my wife of ten years tried to start something with one of my best friends. How do I move forward, since we have two children? |
t3_54106y | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] 1.5 years, recently became exclusive | We have been fairly serious about each other, and have known each other for 7 years. We were together, and now in a long distance, with an end in sight (2 more years) after which we would be married. Long distance is not really a problem for either one of us as communication has become so easy and quick.
I recently was traveling the world and journeying back to the city we share to spend time together. However, one of those destinations on my journey, I met up with a good friend of both of ours. We decided to go to the bars and have a few drinks, one thing led to another and I end up blacking out that night and I thought that was it. I let me partner know what we did to the best of my knowledge that we had gone to bars, clubs and strip clubs.
Fast forward to a few months later, we are comfortable enough to come out to our families and while we are in the process, the friend mentions about the night of bars and clubs and how I end up making out with someone.
Now, a little bit about me. I consider myself an okay person. Not great by any means, but not terrible. If I had known about it then about this "make-out", I would have told my partner immediately because otherwise the guilt would have eaten me up.
Being in long distance requires trust and now she feels she cannot proceed any longer. I feel horrible for making her go through this and to even cause her any pain. What can I do? Is this a lost cause? How do I prove to her my loyalty? I can give up drinking if that's what needs to be done. I understand it's my mistake, but there really is no intention or motivation for me to do anything like this. | OP is dating someone. Currently long distance. OP made out with a random stranger and found out himself months later. GF has lost faith and OP doesn't know what to do. |
t3_4l3dxr | relationships | Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] month and a half, haven't been on a date yet | This is my first girlfriend and need help to know if something is normal.
Me and her are both high school seniors about to graduate. We have been dating for a month and a half (since the end of track season) and I have been pretty happy. We have kissed already and spend a lot of time together during school and have a routine of me calling her after school and her texting me at night.
My problem is this: We are graduating soon and I am pretty sure I won't be able to see her.
I have asked her multiple times for a date, but I have consistently gotten the answer that her mom won't let her. The only thing we have done together (which I would prefer never to do again) was come to her house while no one was home and kiss for an hour.
From what she tells me my girlfriend is basically the mom of the house. She cleans, cooks, etc. I'm assuming the mom doesn't want to lose her to anyone.
Aside from that we have planned to go to a quince together for her cousin(planned by her mom and aunt). I have been to a few dance practices since we are both standing in it.
Also I wanted her to come to my graduation party but she asked if I was inviting her entire family. I responded with a reasonable no. She said then that her mom will probably want her to bring her sister (even though I told her there would be another girl there).
I'm pretty sure this isn't a good sign and honestly I am getting kind of tired of not seeing her outside of school or even getting a date yet.
She has also mentioned she has had a problem with guys cheating on her...
Am I overreacting or is this normal? I am considering just finding another girlfriend after the quince if this keeps up. | I have dated this girl a month and a half and haven't had a date or been with her outside of school (except for quince practice) . Is this normal? |
t3_1ef0x3 | AskReddit | When will it stop being awkward? | I am currently a junior in high school.
In middle school, i had a girl in my class who i liked. We were friends, and we'd talk everyday, in class and over IMs. I eventually developed feelings for her, and i told her that i liked her. Instead of straight out rejecting me, she ignored me.. for almost the rest of the year. I later found out that she liked me...
Now a couple of days ago, I asked a girl to see a broadway show with me. We were friends and i wanted to go out with her to see if it would develop into something more. We met up for lunch and then we went to see the show together. Everything went great but i knew that i wouldn't continue to go out with her. But after the date, she stopped texting me and started making things awkward. I've been trying my best to talk to her (not to start a relationship but just to make things the way it was), but she would limit her interactions with me. | At what point in my life can i ask a friend out and not have it be awkward? or did i just play it badly? |
t3_2el5ih | Advice | This might not be a usual request. (Thievery of school property, need serious advice on whether or not people think I'm fine) | Okay, before you hound me for being a scumbag from taking something from the school, let me give you a complete rundown. I took 4 gigs of ram from the school computers, (big whoop right?) But I'm afraid that I've left them enough to be suspicious of me. Nobody knows for sure that someone stole ram or anything. I took an old 1gig stick from my old dell and put it in there after i took it. I thought maybe it would've fit but it did not so I just left it in there. My teacher saw me open up the computer but he was blowoff and didn't really give a shit about what I did in his class. He left this year and now there is a new teacher. That 1gig stick did not fit so I panicked and left it sitting in the case. Fast forward to next year of school (present) I come back and the first day, a kid noticed that he only had 4 gigs vs the others with 8. I laughed and acted casual and looked inside and explained to our new teacher that it did not fit. He said he would call our head admin in technology. The previous year I got involved in a huge ordeal (I played fucking minecraft over LAN with friends) and they called it hacking, supposedly threatened us with being expelled, juvy, yadayada. I heard that from my (now) teacher in that class. He said he heard about it. I'm just worried that they will realize that the RAM was stolen and not just "not the right kind" and will look back at the trouble makers and think it was one of us involved in that huge ordeal. At this point I'm blabbing on and on out of nervousness. I never was good at dealing with guilt and I know it's so little to fret over but I was just wanting someone else's SERIOUS advice, and not some kinda mocking matter. I know it's fucking 40 bucks that I stole but the fact that suspicion is growing and whatnot is kinda nerveracking. Anyway, any feedback would be wonderful. I appreciate it if you took the time to read this. | Stole ram from school comp, staff and students growing suspicious, technology admins might be contacted, need help with guilt and whether or not I'm probably okay. |
t3_4mxov7 | dating_advice | Would it be a bad idea to ask this girl out? | So, here's the situation. I, a 21 year old male, was recently (about 3 months ago at time of writing) dumped from a pretty long (and somewhat serious) relationship, and it kinda turned my life upside down for a while.
During this time, a good female friend of mine whom I've known for about 3 years (we will call her Sara) has been texting me, helping me get through the emotions and find a new job. (depression hit me super hard and I got fired. I'm not super proud of it, but it's too late to change it now)
As it turns out, in nearly the same timeframe, Sara herself went through a difficult breakup, so we were kinda being emotional support for each other.
This is where my concern lies. I've known Sara for a while, and I suspect there may be a bit of a spark between us, but I'm hesitant to ask her on a date, as we are both still pretty freshly out of a part of our lives where we were both a bit emotionally vulnerable.
I guess I'm just not sure on the etiquette when it comes to asking out someone that was recently dumped. Or when you yourself were recently dumped. I'm not concerned about rejection, I just don't want to mess things up between us as friends. | A friend of mine and I both were recently dumped and I kinda want to ask her out but I don't know if it's a terrible idea or not. |
t3_4p364q | AskDocs | Question about testicle lump | Last night when I was laying in bed 6/19 i started scratching my left testi because I had this itch and I was stretching it for about 10mins. I should also mention when I was showering last night before I got into bed my scrotum was fine. Anyways so after stratching for 10min I eventually fell asleep woke up this morning 6/20 and I was itchy again started scratching for a few minutes. That was the last time I scratched it today. Fast forward hours into my day I just now took a shower and I notice a lump on my left testi where I was scratching since last night and when the water was splashing around that lump it was a bit sensitive. For obvious reasons I freaked the hell out and I've been all over Google, webmd etc for an hour now researching what this is. I don't think it's testicular cancer I'm praying to god it's not and if anything just a pimple or a zit. So if there's anybody on this subreddit who knows a thing or two about this can you shed some light and I haven't been sexually active for months now so I'm ruling out std and I'm 22yo sorry forgot to mention that. | last night got itchy left testi and today I notice in shower that there's a lump on my left testi it's only itchy |
t3_2c2f1r | relationships | I (20M) am curious about when the right time to have the exclusivity talk with the girl (19F) I've been dating | So about 6 months ago I met this girl at work, and I grew to have a huge crush on her by the end of the semester. One day I decided to message her and she gave me her number without me asking! I was so excited, it turns out she's had a big crush on me as well.
We've been talking for about 2 months now, and dating for well over a month. We've spent a whole day together, went on several dates, and are constantly making plans to see each other again. The whole time spent together is laughing, smiling, and there's no dull moments. We share a lot of common interests, and life goals, so we're very compatible. This whole summer she's been in one town and I've been in another, so it's been a little difficult. But here in about 3 weeks we'll be living only 5 minutes away!
We are taking things slowly, she mentioned how she had been pressured by past flings into sex early on and how she felt like that was all they wanted. So I haven't made a sexual advance yet, only kissing and a little groping. But the tension is building and I really want to make a move! I'm just worried about doing it too early and scaring her off.
So I guess the question I'm looking for here is, how do I know when to ask the exclusivity question? I'm crazy about this girl and have no doubt in my mind I could be in a relationship with her, but I feel like a little more time to make sure she's on the same page wouldn't hurt anything. Should I wait until we're sleeping together? Should I ask her before hand? I'm a clueless boy confused by hormones and can't make a decision! I don't want her to think I'm disinterested and playing her until I "get what I want", I want to be in a relationship. But at the same time obviously, I want to be physical with her. I've moved too early on the relationship question before with other girls and learned my lesson on jumping the gun, help me get this one right Reddit! | I really like the girl I'm dating and can see us in a relationship, but I don't know when the right time to ask the exclusivity question is. |
t3_3o8o1q | relationships | I (47f) caught my daughter (17f) with a boy (17m). What do I do? | My daughter is turning 17 next month. I've suspected her and this boy (17m) of liking each other for a few months now. Let's call him Jack. She is not allowed to have a boyfriend.
Yesterday I was going to take her and her friends, including Jack, to an amusement park. When i got home, i went to her room to look for her and as i was halfway in the door, Jack stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his knees. We stared at each other for what felt like years as he pulled his pants up and said "Hi." My daughter was in the shower.
I went into the bathroom and told her that i knew and waited for her in her room. When she came out, she tried to lie saying that she was in the shower and didn't know what he was doing. She suggested that he was changing out of his football uniform but he was putting on jeans?
I knew she was lying and i told her to not be cheap. She is a straight A student but i told her that that's not all that matters. What do i do? | I arrived home to see my daughter's friend (17m) with his pants around his knees outside the bathroom where my daughter was showering. Is my reaction ok? What do i do? |
t3_4nw7rw | Advice | No idea what to do with my life. | First of all I'm 21 M. Never had a job, because my family would give me money if I ever needed it. I'm currently studying for attending an IT university, but I lost my passion on the way and the progress is so slow that I won't pass the exam which is a month and half away. My parents really want me to go to an university even if I don't pass the exam, they told me to go to another specialization (but I don't want to).
I have no idea what to do. I really want to go to USA or Canada, but the visas are hard to obtain. I would move to another city in my country, but only thinking about having to work some shitty job in a supermarket or something similar makes me depressed.
So | I wont pass the exam for the university I (kinda) want to attend, want to move from my parents' but don't want to work some shit job, 0 ideas about what to do with my life. |
t3_3fg8ae | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [25 F] 6 months, air trapped inside her after a week of no sex? | I wanted other people's opinion on this, the facts:
* We usually have sex every day, several times a day
* Recently we didn't have much sex, because she was staying at her parents (3 weeks)
* The frequency of the sex was less than usual, maybe 3 times a week
* The last week we didn't have sex at all, but we were still seeing each other every day
* After the last week, we went back to living together, and she was queefing A LOT before and during our sex together since that week long of no sex
* She never queefed before, during, or after sex prior to this during the 5 months we spent together
Is this grounds to be suspicious? I know ovulation and position could play a part in this, maybe even the way we were fucking since it had been a while, but she never had air trapped inside her like this before and it was honestly a little shocking.
I guess a critical question would be, if air was trapped inside there by a dildo or a dick, how long could it stay in there? | Girlfriend suddenly queefs a lot after a week long of no intercourse, it wasn't me trapping that air, maybe a dildo or another dick, do I have grounds to be suspicious? |
t3_3blrdu | dogs | [Discussion] Update on catching my brothers girlfriend kicking my dog | [Original post can be found here]
Fortunately, she's been kicked out of the house! No, I won't show her what it's like to be kicked multiple times... But on the unfortunate side, my poor best friend, Chewie, is pretty much traumatized from his experience. Everytime someone comes home late (usually my brother), he starts barking a lot and wakes us all up. My assumption is that he will grow out of it. Another outcome is him keeping his distance from me when I'm walking him. He tries to stay away as far as the leash can take him. As much as this saddens me, I understand why he would. For now, my little dog is saved from that crazy person. I tried so hard to have her reported but my parents decided to just torture her with how much they love the dog and how much damage she's caused to us. My dad, with rage kept saying how chewie is his little boy that he misses in a way, how loving and sweet he is and how fucked up she is for thinking such a thing. Man did seeing her cry feel good. So good.
To end it off, thank you so much. The response was unbelievable and I will take your advice by walking the dog and letting him socialize! | she's out, dog is ruined hopefully temporarily from being abused (still love him) and there's pictures. Thanks guys |
t3_127i3n | loseit | The freshman negative fifteen! First time losing weight | Not looking for sympathy, just sharing my story! When I was 8 I was diagnosed with clinical depression and put on zoloft. Zoloft worked fine for me for a long time, but I did notice one side effect that I'd never experienced before- I was gaining weight. Basically, once the drugs took a hold of my brain I just didn't care and I ate the feelings away. From that point on, I was unable to loose weight and struggled not to gain more.
Flash forward 10 years, I'm now 18. Starting college, I was determined not to gain the infamous "freshman 15". I've been having a lot of issues emotionally lately. I was also feeling very unhealthy. Right when school was starting around September 1st, I realized I was at an all time high with my weight. Determined to start a new life for myself, I went to see a psychologist to deal with my depression. I have been given a brand new anti-depressant called Viibryd and it has not made me want to "eat feelings" at all. As someone who has tried many depression drugs, this is revolutionary for me. I feel better with this pill than I have with any other. Less crazy mood swings too. I have managed to loose 17 pounds since school started (and I actually became a vegetarian!). Might not seem like much, but it is spectacular for me. Never lose hope guys! | Depression pills made me perma-fat, I got super depressed and got a new pill and became a vegetarian. Gained freshman negative 15 in college. |
t3_2lqki5 | relationships | Me [21 M] who has just started dating this girl [21 F] for 2 months or so, I have trust issues and just found out she has a past of cheating, in need of advice | Hi /r/relationships, I am a long time lurker of this sub and this is my first time posting here. I am in need of advice on where to go from here with this girl I have been dating. For some background info, I have known this girl since high school and 4 months ago was reunited with her at a mutual friend's party. We have been texting, calling every night etc. and I felt as if the relationship was going pretty well.
Okay, so here's where I am in need of advice, a friend (also 21 M) told me a few hours ago about her past and how she has cheated on both her past SOs. He included details such as why she would need a reason to cheat (they were both neglecting her) and what the cheating consisted of (her messaging male friends and inappropriately chatting about sexual subjects that her and her current SO never discussed). The same friend also told me I might be a rebound due to her never having closure with her last SO.
My background is that I have been cheated on twice (both physically cheating), I have had expectations from past SOs that have never been fulfilled, I have been lied to and hurt over trusting others. I do not know where to go from here, I thought about taking it slow with her but my friend just stated that it be a waste of time
So reddit, what should I do? | Found out she has cheated on both her past SOs, I have trust issues, in need of advice on where to go from here |
t3_1tgama | relationships | Previously dated someone with sociopath-like traits. I'm afraid my [22F] current SO [21M] may be the same. | I'm 22 F.
My previous relationship was a year and a half long shlep with a 22 y/o who showed sociopathic traits. It was, in retrospect, an emotionally abusive relationship. For example, he would cry and defend his intentions from here to infinity when I brought up things he did that hurt or offended me, had no empathy towards me or any other friends, especially not family. Did not have close friends with whom he spoke to about personal issues.
The guy I'm currently with (21 M) worries me because he's charming (and aware of it), and has a reputation of being manipulative.
According to him, his ex is spreading rumors about them sleeping together when they never have, among other things, all ending in "He's a bad person." I've heard from multiple people who know me to not get involved with this guy.
His circle of friends do not believe the rumors. He swears up and down that what she says isn't true. But one can also say that I and his friends are under his realm of influence. In my opinion, why would she flat out make up all sorts of things that can easily be dismissed?
In addition:
* He wants to be liked and wants to convince people he's not the asshole he's being made out to be.
* He says he doesn't feel shame easily (this came up when trying to find something for him to do if he loses a bet)
* Describes himself as spontaneous/prefers spontaneity
I don't know what to believe or whom to believe. But I do not want to be in an emotionally abusive and manipulative situation again.
Am I being paranoid? | Previously dated a possible sociopath. Don't want to fall into that trap again with the new SO. Am I being paranoid or is this something to walk away from? |
t3_1mtw4x | Advice | Step-Mother exploded at me? | I felt ashamed for mistakenly charging my dad's credit card $80 and I paid him back. But I feel that his wife's rage, accusation & threats were unnecessary.
I was in a tough spot 2 months ago where I needed to pay my phone bill for work reasons and I had no money. So my dad lended a hand and paid my bill that was $80 from his credit card online. (I pay every 2 months)
Yesterday his wife calls me and starts yelling at me over the phone calling me a thief, saying she's gonna report me to the police for credit card fraud and go to jail, and that I've treated my dad like crap. And Of course I was baffled & told her have no idea what she's talking about. I use to stay with my dad and avoided her because of this anger, 2 years later after I moved out, and now I thought she was passed this, so I was shocked and couldn't even defend myself properly over the phone.
It turns out I messed up over the whole "pre-pay credit card" thing online where it automatically extracts money every month. I honestly did not know this and thought it was a one time thing. Today I quickly fixed the problem and paid with my own money.
My dad wasn't angry, maybe more or less sad because he thought I would actually steal from him. But I explained & apologized to him what happened and he understands. So the problem is settled and done. But now he's asking me to go apologize to his wife.
Should I apologize to her? I feel like she went overboard on the rage and threats, and I'm sick of freezing up at every opportunity to defend myself. She use to do this to me before when I lived with her & my dad and It made me fall into depression knowing I was in the same roof with this person and there was nothing I or my dad could do about it.. but maybe I'm just making excuses right now. | Accidentally charged my dad's credit card, step-mother calls and yells at me, I fixed credit card problem, dad asks me to apologize to his wife? |
t3_15j3l8 | running | Last Friday night I walked out my front door to run my normal 5 miles and ended up running a half marathon! | I'm totally stoked! I knew I'd probably be taking in some extra calories over the holiday so I talked myself into it. Prior to this my farthest distance was 10 miles. It was totally unplanned and was a great example of overcoming that voice in your head that says "Can't". Here's how the conversation went:
Wife as I'm walking out the door: How far are you running?
Positive Me: At least 5 miles
Wife: Cool.
(After a quick stretch, I start running)
Negative me (.25 miles): Man, I'm not feeling it today. I think I'll just run 2-3 and call it a day.
Positive me: Seriously? Just for your whining, now you're running AT LEAST 8 miles.
Negative me: What? We'll see.
Positive me (.5 miles): Nope. No argument. Man up.
...(running continues)
Positive me (5 miles): Man, this feels great! Aren't you glad you didn't quit?
Negative me: Ya, I guess so. Still, this is pretty far. Want to call it a day?
Positive me: Don't you ever learn? Now we're going to run a half marathon?
Negative me: WHAT?! We've never run that far.
Positive me: Well, what would you rather be doing? Sitting on the couch, drinking, and watching Netflix? Let's do this!
...(running continues)
Negative me (11 miles): Well, this has been fun but we've been running for over an hour and a half now...and this is farther than we've ever run. Maybe call it a day?
Positive me: Ya, exactly, we've been running for over an hour and a half and only have around 20 minutes left to accomplish something we've never done before. Are you crazy?
Me: You know what, you're right. LET'S DO THIS. | I set out to run my normal 5 miles, didn't really feel like it, but rather than quitting 2 miles in I talked myself into running my first ever half marathon. |
t3_1uevux | relationships | Boyfriend [M24] got kicked in the groin last night at a party by some drunk girl. His right testicle is pretty swollen. I'm [F25] worried. Do I take him to the ER? | He's (M24), I'm (F25). We've been together for two years.
My boyfriend hasn't seen his friends in awhile, so he went to a party last night to hang out with them. There were quite a few random people there as well. Towards the end of the night, a couple of the girls were getting extremely loud and drunk. As they were leaving, one of them kicked my boyfriend in the groin because she thought it would be "funny." Seriously, how is hurting someone funny? Anyway, they kicked out and then my boyfriend left shortly after.
This morning, we noticed his right testicle was pretty swollen. He refused sex because he said he's still really sore. Like he won't even let me touch him at all done there.. that's how bad it is. But he's trying to pretend like it doesn't hurt that bad. Typical guy. Should I take him to the ER?
**Also, I know who the girl is that kicked him. She messaged him this morning on Facebook and said, "So, are you still alive?" I might see her tonight at a mutual friend's house, depending on who goes. Should I say something to her? | I'm wondering if I should take my boyfriend to see a doctor and if I should talk to the girl who kicked him tonight if I see her. |
t3_3gyi8d | relationships | I [21F] have a massive crush on my friend's [55F] son [24M], how should I aproach this situation? | My friend and I met five years ago when she moved in to an apartment close by. She said I had a lot of interests in common with her only son.
...
I met him later on about two months late. he was nice and Handsome. It turned out we had a lot in common and shared some of the same goals.
...
The problem is, I Am always afraid of showing my true feelings about my friend's son. I'm afraid of having our friendship end if I ever get anywhere romantic with her only son.
...
Since her son and I are two busy people working and going to school, I don't know how to aproach him in his busy shedule. I'm just lost.
... | crush on neighbor's hot son, I don't want to lose her friendship, don't know how to aproach him. Help. |
t3_503edo | relationships | My [21F] boyfriend [20M] of 3 years said he doesn't feel like seeing me today, do I have the right to be hurt? | I talked to my boyfriend in the morning and asked him what he will do today because I feel like seeing him, he said we can see each other later evening after a funeral he had to attend, hours pass by and I still haven't gotten a text from him, I check a Skype conversation that he invited me to with his friends a while ago but I guess he forgot I was there, he was inviting this other friend to go to a nearby city to get drinks, this friend ALWAYS brings his girlfriend everywhere (oh yeah, this friend happens to be my ex, it's actually how I met my boyfriend, they were best friends and just now becoming friends again)
I called him and just asked what he is doing and when we can see each other because I really want to see him, last we saw each other was Wednesday and on Monday I have a very important exam and I just felt like seeing my SO and relax and just spend time together to distress and talk, he bluntly said I was planning to see a friend, I asked what they were doing and he said they don't know yet, then I said it doesn't work that way and that I asked first and I asked yesterday as well and that it was unfair that he said he'll see me on and then make other plans, he said that he's not angry or mad at me but simply "doesn't feel like seeing me today" I told him that it was kind of rude to say that to people he said "he doesn't want to be hypocritical and make up a lie" and that we can see each other another day
I feel hurt because I feel like it's not fair that he can choose when we see each other like this, like he's getting comfortable, he knows he can see me anytime that he wants so he chooses the time, also, am I exaggerating or that phrase "I don't FEEL like seeing you today" is just hurtful?
I don't want to be a kid but i don't feel like replying to he's messages anymore or if he asks to see me I want to say the exact same thing to him. | boyfriend made other plans and told me he doesn't feel like seeing me leaving me wondering if I have the right to be hurt or not by his honesty |
t3_1bym5g | relationships | [19 M] Struggling to be happy with girlfriend [21 F] who says I need to stop being so mopey all the time. | Hey Reddit...thanks for taking the time to listen to this. I'm in serious need of advice, I'm not really sure of what to do at this point.
So, I met this girl on an online game a couple months ago. We stayed up late every night, were always laughing together, falling asleep on the phone together, etc. I was really happy about it. Turns out, she lives close by. So about a month ago, I drove to her place and we became official.
Recently, however (I'd say within the past 3 weeks) She's stopped laughing so much with me. She tends to get upset at everything I say. She's always laughing and happy with her friends (which are mostly guys, to my dismay) and that tends to put me in a little depression rut. Actually, I'm a very sensitive guy, I get offended easily due to low self esteem, and need pick me ups (basically giving me attention) which she is reluctant to give. She's been with about 5 guys now, and has developed a "casual relationship" kind of attitude. I, on the other hand, had a serious, 3 year relationship with one girl.
So, I've been really mopey and bummed out recently. I don't laugh around her, I just get upset. This, in turn, upsets her. She dropped a bomb on me today, saying she wants to be with someone more cheerful and playful, like I used to be. Well, how is that supposed to motivate me? All it did, actually, was ruin my day
I really like this girl, and would love to be happy and laughing with her. But she just doesn't do any of that for me. I've never broken up with someone before, either. I find it kind of difficult...anyway, what do you think I should do? | a girl I met online who lives close by is never laughing or smiling around me anymore, and says if I don't cheer up that we won't work |
t3_1hhebm | dating_advice | I'm [29m] confused about a girl [26f] that wants to make dinner for me... | So, long story short, I have been seeing this girl for just over a month or so. We text just about every day and have been ever since we met a few months back.
I have taken her out on a ton of really fun dates and we hit it off extremely well! Our physical level started escalating and we started to soon act like a couple (nothing in the bedroom yet, though). It was great knowing that there was mutual interest on both levels so there really was no need for playing any games.
After a while, though, it was starting to get to the point where I felt like I was the only one putting effort into the dates so I kind of backed off to see what she would do (I suppose for a little bit of emotional reinforcement). I just started at a new job so training has been keeping me busy and the amount of talk/text time for us has significantly decreased. This past weekend was actually the first time we didn't talk since we have met 3 months ago.
Today, she texts me just to see how things are going and we text back and forth throughout the day; nothing too crazy. At the end of the day she says that she wants to cook dinner for me later next week to "pay me back" for all of the dates that I've taken her on. Normally, this would signify that she does, in fact, still like me but in this case, when she says that she's doing it because she feels like she owes me, is it to cover her emotions up in order to not look too eager? Any advice will be greatly appreciated!! Thank you in advance! | Girl that I have been dating wants to cook me dinner but says that she wants to do it because she "feels like she owes me." Is that the truth or is there still some hope for me? |
t3_409mdx | tifu | TIFU by not throwing away my condom. | My gf and I recently started to have sexual relations, mainly in my room. On our second night in action, we start to do our thing and of course, with protection (safe to say I despise condoms more than ever know).
After were done, I take it off, rap it up in a napkin and shoot it at the trash... in the dark. I miss, but I didn't realize it. This is where i fucked up. I completely forget about the condom and my gf and I go out to eat right after.
While my were away, my auntie that NEVER comes to visit, comes to visit to checkout the new teacup puppy that my sister got for Christmas. The dog for some reason has a thing for my junk as I've caught her digging around in my trash from time-to-time.
Well after my auntie arrives, my uncle and mom's bf also come to visit. They decide to go online shopping. Thing is, the biggest computer in the house is in my room so they go to my room to shop. My auntie at this point is in LOVE with the dog and doesn't let go. As they're sitting around the computer lost in the after-Christmas deals, my auntie starts to feel a rubber in the dog's mouth. And while NOT LOOKING at the dog, starts to feel on it as well. Still blinded by what's on the computer screen she takes it away from the dog. At this point, her hand is soaked in what is a mixture of dog saliva, lubricant and of course, her nephew's sperm. She FINALLY decides to look at what the dog found in my room. FUCKED UP. Everyone goes wild. My auntie screams, my uncle too, my mom scared and her bf like "WTF is going on!?."; "CONDON! Pinche Perra!" she screams! (yes, we're Mexican)
Funniest thing to ever happen to me! I came back and they told me the story practically strapped to a chair. Couldn't even take it seriously. | I forgot to throw away my condom. Sister's dog started munching on it and it ended up in the hands of my auntie. Happened in front off all the adults in my immediate family. |
t3_1ej6pg | dating_advice | I [18m] am head over heals for a friend [18f] but don't want to ruin the relationship. | Hi everybody! I realize this question gets asked a lot, but mine has a twist.
I'm incredibly good friends with this girl, and it's escalated dramatically recently. Over the past year we haven't seen much of each other, but texted probably every other day/three days. We saw each other again about two weeks ago, and since then have texted/skyped at least two hours a day. We've revealed a lot of very personal things about each other, and everything I learn about her makes me care about her even more.
It's gotten to the point where every message I get my heart skips a beat, hoping it's from her. If I don't initiate a conversation that day, she does, but a little bit less frequently than I would (pointing to the fact that she's not interested in me romantically).
Here's the twist: she lives about four hours away from me. I care about her immensely as a friend and as a person, and I'm not sure if i'm willing to risk that by asking her out. Especially because of the distance issue. How should I approach this? All I want is for her to be happy, and I don't want to ruin what we have now.
[Note, she fits these criteria perfectly] | Girl I really like may not like me in the same way, lives really far away, don't want to lose what we have now. |
t3_tpmh7 | AskReddit | Reddit - Had a funny experience watching Americans at an airport - what are some stories you have of other cultures on holiday? | My story was in Gatwick Airport. For those of you not particularly familiar with this airport it is in London. Somewhat of a shithole. Anyway in walk this American family. Very stereotypical - We're talking big cameras, loud American shirts with american flags on backpacks and those half sleeve shirts with shorts (despite it still being rather chilly).
They were very loudly and jovially complimenting all the greenery around the area. "Look at these evergreens, they're so lovely, Gatwick's a lovely airport, I did enjoy London its so sophisticated" blah blah blah. Now I thought this was lovely really. Either they were terribly ignorant as to what a shithole they were in, or they knew it and were still loudly complimenting it to be all "hey we're friendly americans" as often Americans do on holiday. Just nice people frankly.
Needless to say it's not too long as I'm watching that someone comes by and mutters "You can't half tell they're yanks, for fucksake, Gatwicks a hovel"
I had to laugh - by attempting to be friendly/pleasant, they were being completely at odds with the very Britishness surrounding them and they had no idea. Perhaps we're rather miserable people here or something. I thought they were lovely personally.
Maybe that's not so funny, had to be there and all that. But what stories have you all got of people travelling from one place to another - and coming across completely out of touch culturally for better or worse? | Stereotypical friendly americans get odd looks for being nice about a shitty london airport. Anyone got any better stories? |
t3_ldqau | Parenting | What would you have done in this situation? | Okay, so I'm 14 and had a sleepover, which involved me my 4 friends from school, this cute gay dude and 2 girls. Me, Sam and Caitlin all slept on the same mattress. My dad had told me that the girls were to sleep in my sisters room, but we pretty much fell asleep wherever we were. He got mad in the morning said how extremely disappointed he was in me, how ashamed he is, and that the girls are never allowed back at his house. Also mentioned that this is how teenage pregencies start. Key points: we were all fully clothed, Caitlin is about the same age as me, minus like 2 months. If my dad knew I was gay would his opinion of what happened change? How would you react to this situation if you thought your kid was straight? | dad thinks something like a macvellion orgy happened wit a girl, banned then from his house, is he being sexist? |
t3_3ec7jw | Parenting | 6 year old daughter thinks she's not pretty because she wears glasses. | Last night we were walking home from a dinner party with family and my daughter asked: 'Am I pretty?'
I told her that of course she is and started on a little daddy rant about how it's what's on the inside that counts more yada yada... When she interrupted me and said: 'You only think I'm pretty because you're my daddy.'
I didn't really know what to say to that so I asked her why she was worried about her looks and she replied: 'Some boys at school said that girls with glasses are ugly.'
Bloody boys. I was once a little horror and I'm sure that many years ago I said unkind things to little girls so I felt a mix of remorse and anger thinking that these little brats have made my girl feel bad.
I told her to ignore them, to play with kids she gets along with or even to stand up for herself and tell the boys they have big ears or something (which was probably the wrong thing to tell her as it could make things escalate but I want her to stand up for herself at school). I don't want to go up to the school in person because I've already been to speak about some other unrelated issues and I would prefer to give her the tools to deal with this herself instead of me fighting her battles.
So anyway, today I've been thinking it over and reading some helpful websites to try and address this issue as best I can. I often lurk on this sub and a lot of people have good advice, so...
**What do you recommend I do or say to counteract my daughter being told she isn't pretty because she wears glasses?**
She's been wearing glasses since she turned two and even has to wear a patch over one eye at home. She has a couple of pairs, one that are flexible for sports and another nice pink pair of regular glasses which she chose herself. I try to be a good dad and most times get it right, I'm just looking for some insight and good tips to try and nip this in the bud so that it doesn't affect her self-esteem long term. | My daughter wears glasses. Some boys at school told her that girls with glasses aren't pretty. What's the best way I should address this to help her. |
t3_2rrxjl | relationships | (22f) Present ideas for my vegetarian boyfriend (25m)'s birtday. (Going out a few months). | He got me some comfy shoes (my feet were constantly killing me in high heels!) and this lovely bracelet for Christmas. It sounds like he put a lot of thought into my present (he got me the shoes one day when we were out and my feet were hurting, so I chose those, but it seems like he thought a lot about the bracelet). I want to put as much thought and effort into his birthday present, but it's so difficult to buy for guys! Literally, present ideas on the internet seem to consist of tacky "ring for sex" bells or really expensive tech stuff. He's a vegetarian and loves to cook, but I got him a veggie cook book for Christmas, so that's ticked off the list. I basically have no money, so I can't spend loads- I just want it to be nice and thoughtful. Other random stuff about him, ummmmm- we both like chemistry (that's how we met). I could get him a book of chemistry jokes? Na! That's be awful.
What do you think, Oh lovely redditors?
(Extra points if you get the Na reference. Okay, that's embarrassing, I'm out now!). | I want to get my boyfriend something personal and sweet for his birthday, other than a willy warmer- which is what the internet seems to suggest! |
t3_1fq3z2 | relationships | Boyfriend [25m] broke up with me [23f] and I have to continue to live and work with him for 2 weeks... | My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and I'm devastated. I can't eat, I can't sleep. It's horrible.
We were together for 3 1/2 years and we live together. I had to put in 2 weeks notice at my job (we both work there) and I'm moving back home with my parents. But I can't leave until 2 weeks from now and if every night is like last night, I don't know if I can take it.
I can't stand sleeping alone in our bed while he sleeps on the couch. I just want him to lay with me and hold me. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't do this. I've never been so lonely. I feel so lost. | Boyfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me and I can't move out for 2 weeks. I can't handle it. |
t3_hb41j | AskReddit | Reddit, I need advice on whether I'm being irrational. | My boyfriend of 5 years and I moved into separate flats at the beginning of the year, as it is our 2nd year at Uni. He's living with 4 boys, who are all very liberal kinds of guys. They were drinking every weekend which doesn't bother me at all.
Then they started smoking [Kronic] which is a legal form of weed. I don't really approve of it, but I let him do it, because he has honestly never been as happy and content with his life.
But when I wasn't hearing from him for hours and hours on end, and I knew that was the reason, I confronted him. He said that he wasn't going to stop and that he wanted to do weed too. I really don't see the need for it, and his argument was that if he was on his deathbed and he hadn't tried pot he would regret it.
It upsets me because now he's still happy but I feel like he hasn't heard what I'm trying to say.. He's still doing it, and we don't talk about it anymore coz we just argue.
Thoughts? Sorry I know it's probably a bit ranty. | boyfriend went from legal weed to the real stuff, and didn't stop when i asked. I'm unhappy, but i kind of feel like i'm being unfair to him. |
t3_1bic2g | relationships | 17 M has 4 months left before things end romantically with 18F. 17M is crazy anxious. | Last night, I hung out with the girl I'm in a casual relationship with. We dated for 2 months since New Years, i got dumped, but relentlessly kept seeking her, and we started a casual relationship. Lots of difference in feeling, I love her, she does not love me. Regardless, we maintain physical intimacy and affection. She is leaving at the end of July for college. She has told me she doesn't want a relationship into college, but will still have deep romantic feelings for me for a long time and want to talk to me as a friend forever. I feel like an idiot, any other guy at high school would think, girl I can do stuff with before college with no string attached? Perfect. But alas, I woke up this morning, realized I had less then 20 Mondays left with her, and promptly threw up due to anxiety. I don't want to end things prematurely, but I want to be able to deal with it so I can enjoy the last four months without feeling like this. | how do you cope knowing there is a set end to the relationship? How do you manage the stress? Any tips, advice, anything really are appreciated. |
t3_1dxv6f | AskReddit | Doctors of reddit, as an MD is it safe for you to perform neck/back adjustments on patients? | I pulled the top "rib" on the right side of my neck/shoulder/upper back out of alignment several months ago and finally went to the doctor. He is just a regular MD and performed 3 different adjustments on me.
Today (the day after) I cannot use my right arm hardly at all and the pain is to the point I am having a hard time focusing on work.
Is this normal for an adjustment if something was already out of place and hurting? My fiance thinks I should not be seeing my MD for any adjustments whatsoever and should seek out a chiropractor. I have never been to one before and don't know.
For more details if they are needed, here is what he told me:
* Don't use the arm for anything I don't have to, definitely no pushing, pulling, exercise of any kind.
* Apply heat to the area throughout the day as much as possible.
* No sitting if I can avoid it. Either standing or laying down for at least a week.
* Stretch it out 4x a day.
I go back next week for another adjustment but I'm not sure if I should make a chiropractor appointment or if this level of pain after is normal?
Thanks! | Neck adjustment for neck/shoulder injury at my MD resulted in a lot of pain. Supposed to go back next week for another. Should I seek out a chiropractor instead or is it normal to hurt this badly? |
t3_52b2vl | legaladvice | How to valuate a totaled car for court ordered restitution? (Mass) | Massachusetts:
I am public HS teacher. Was out of town for August. My car (97 subaru legacy wagon, in great working condition but fairly worn on the outside, ODO 200,000) was totaled in a hit and run (4 am, was parked legally on the street with nose to sidewalk, nobody hurt). Right rear axle bent, trunk window broken, door damaged, extensive frame damage. Another car was also damaged (scratched).
Declared totaled by police, who have it towed in town to garage which stores it for 35$ a day. Proprietor (and PD) assure me that driver's insurance could (would?) cover this charge... can't be moved from that location until appraised by driver's insurance (which may cover damages to it).
Slightly complicated scenario ensues:
Driver is apprehended by local PD after being identified. I begin insurance claim, but need to wait for final incident report from PD to have my insurance (Lib Mut) able to contact drivers insurance (unknown party, unknown ins -- to me). I am still abroad. As it turns out, my insurance policy only covers liability, not damages incurred to the vehicle. (Fair enough, it was an affordable policy and the car somewhat old).
The day before I return, I hear that a different driver has been identified (by video), who has no insurance and a suspended license. Friend who had admitted to driving either took the fall or was intimidated (unclear to me). New person was been arrested a week or so after the incident. (bail of 5k$, may still be inside), initial court hearing 10/5, a month from now.
To cut my losses, had the car scrapped. 800$ fee from garage for storage. I am able to submit requests for court-ordered restitution for both damage suffered to the car, and expenses incurred as a result.
To complicate matters further, comments by those who know him on a FB post by local PD about driver doesn't cast a good light on his character, to say the least... much to the effect of "no integrity, will never repay debts, etc". That said... what are the options in terms of terms restitution? How are they enforced? | car totaled in hit and run, how can I best appraise its pre-incident value for a court ordered restitution? |
t3_3q4se6 | relationships | Me [22M] Not sure how to proceed any type of relationship with girl [17F] | So, basically i was on Tinder looking for some people to talk to, And i matched with this girl who is 17. Oh, and her birthday is 4 days before mine. We start talking, and we live about hour and a half away from each other. We can both drive. She is currently still in high school, which is a huuge turn off for me.
Ive already told her that i dont think that anything more than a friendship would be a good idea.
I do however think she is very attractive. Is this wrong? In my head im incredibly confused. Shes 17 for christ sake, why do i have to think these things! Ive told her this, and she says that its not bad, and she thinks im attractive too. I think that this relationship is mutual, im not pushing anything on her.
Ive also tried to explain to her that im not trying to make her do anything, i dont expect anything out of this.
I genuinely really like talking to this girl. The way that she talks to me and the things she says makes me smile and i miss that. i miss having someone that i really connect with.
I dont know what to do reddit, any adivce? | I met a girl on Tinder, started to fall for her, and im not even sure what to expect out of this relationship at all. Would it be best to just end it all and call it quits? |
t3_13xz9e | AskReddit | How do you clear up a misunderstanding with your friends? | A friend of mine (A) brought her acquaintance (Z) into our circle of friends. We are all girls and Z is a guy with a very interesting set of life-experience stories and the ability to play nearly any instrument. I am the only friend with a boyfriend, but friends A, B, C, and D all developed crushes on Z. I understood that he would soon end up dating one of them, so I decided to get to know him better, but my politeness, light-hearted conversation, and genuine interest in his stories and music were misconstrued to be flirtatious. Now all of my friends are leaving me out of plans, talking to me less, and keeping secrets from me, I know because friend D came to admit it to me and apologized. She said that they all found it very threatening that I was talking to him and recommended that he stop talking to me, which he has, and I don't mind. I mind that my friends are inflating the situation. I decided to explain the misunderstanding, but how do I start that conversation without sounding like a parent making their kid confess to stealing a cookie from the jar? | My friends all like this guy and they think I'm trying to make a pass at him, which I am so not. |
t3_1sdzh1 | offmychest | What a difference a year makes | So, I was just browsing some old files on my computer and found a file called "note to self". It was something I wrote to myself a year ago, lonely, hooked on sleeping pills and yet again drunk. I won't go into details of what I said to myself, but I am glad I got out in time. A year has almost passed and my life is much better. I don't drink that much anymore, don't need the pills and thanks to reddit, not so lonely anymore. Also I have lost around 20kg and gain 8kg since then, so all in all, life is a lot better now. Only a few around me knew about how I felt, so now I am offloading here. | You never know where you are in a year, but my life is a lot better now. Life may seem hard now, but sun will always rise and life can always become better. You just have to stay in it! |
t3_1hk2vq | relationships | How do I [M20] make my love interest [18F] of 6 months leave her boyfriend for me. | Met this girl about 6 months ago. We became really good friends with her, I know her boyfriend really well too. Recently I fell for her really hard. We had our moments, she crashed my car while I was teaching her(we were still just friends at that point). Her boyfriend left for 6 months to work abroad. We started meeting a lot more often after that, still simply as friends.
After some time I hopelessly fell in love with her, we became too close and I just couldn't control myself. We were basically best friends by then. We slept together already... and meet up as often as we can now, just holding each other and making out a lot. I spend almost all of my free time with her, and same goes for her.
Thing is, I know she has strong feelings for me, and she knows I like her a lot as well. Even after everything that we had...she still can't leave her boyfriend for me. They've been together for 2 years now and she says she loves him too much, even after everything she did, she still can't find it in her to leave him.
Obviously no one knows about us, and no one can know. I just can't imagine ending it all and neither can she at this point. There's just too much attraction between us....
I know I'm a horrible person, but fuck it. This is the first time I met someone I care so much about, even before developing any feelings. I'm not about to give up on her. She still says we will have to end it all once he comes back. I know I can just tell her BF about us and it will ruin things between us...but I can't do it to her. I want her to decide it for herself, but it seems she already did, she just struggles keeping that decision.
How can I actually go about this? | I fell in love with a friend who cheats on her boyfriend with me. She doesn't want to leave him for me, but can't let me go either. How can I make her mine? |
t3_3md34x | relationships | Me [26/F] with my bf [27 M] My bf heard me say his friends name in my sleep | My boyfriend woke up early yesterday morning and was sitting at his desk, next to our bed. I was sleeping and he said I started to pant and breathe harder. He thought 'Oh she is having a sex dream' then I say his friends name, which is also our roommate. I wake up and he is clearly upset I ask what's wrong and he says we'll talk about it later. He asks me what I was dreaming about, I remember going to the house I grew up and and seeing my sisters there. So later comes and he tells me what happen. I tell him I do not remember having a sex dream about his friend and that I have no attraction to him. He is very upset and told me the way I was breathing (when I said his friends name) was how I breathe when we are having sex and I am trying to not make noise. I have no idea what to do. Our roommate sometimes walks around without a shirt on and a few weeks ago I said to my bf "so and so's chest hair grosses me out.' But now my bf thinks I just said that to ensure he doesn't get suspicious of my attraction towards him. This whole time I am like 'wtf I am attracted to you not him. I love you and would not do that to you.' but he is still upset and he is still trying to "connect things." ie my bf took a shower and when he came out he said our roommates face was red, flushed like he was embarrassed and rushed in his room. I have no idea what he is talking about because I say 3 things to our roommate--hi, good morning, have a good day. My bf is hurting so bad and I do not know what to do or how to make him feel better. | Said my boyfriends friends name (also roommate) in my sleep while breathing heavily. Boyfriend heard and is pretty crushed. Not attracted to friend/don't remember dream. What can I do to make this situation better? |
t3_1alz4l | relationships | Am I (F22) a bad friend to (F23) ? | I have known my best friend since high school, we only got close a few years ago. I currently live in Virginia, and she lives in West Virginia. I try to talk with her often as possible. For the past 2 weeks, I have been working 60-70 hours each week, and then I come home and have my 7 month old daughter to tend to, and school work.
First off she removed me from her facebook friend list, which is extremely hurtful since I don't have a cellphone and I do not live in her state. I messaged her to ask why she did this, and she went off on me saying that I "go through phases where you want to be my friend". That she "thought I wouldn't care anyway" and "only care about myself" This is not true, she recently dumped and got back with her boyfriend who cheated on her, then dumped him again, and I was understanding and attentive throughout the rollercoaster, because I have been there before. These past 2 weeks I have been very busy, I think that should be understandable..
What I believe the real culprit to be, is that a few days ago she made a status (a VERY immature status by the way) talking down about people who are stay at home parents, how they should not put it as their job on facebook, as if it is not one. I did not say anything on this status, I was not even home. My fiancee, however, is a stay at home Dad for now and decided to let her know it was offensive, he really wasn't even rude about it he just told her his stance. She shut him down and then blocked him and unfriended me? ( I guess it was at this time..) due to me for what I believe the reason to be is that I didn't stand up for her, but that would be ridiculous for me to do. My fiancee works very hard to take care of our needy baby who has a kidney condition, and all the housework and bills. He is a great father and amazing fiancee.
So what do you think reddit? Am I crazy for thinking she is being ridiculous? She is making me feel ridiculous with her comebacks and remarks about how I am selfish and uncaring. :( | friend insists I am a terrible friend for being very busy lately, just the last 2 weeks, and because I did not stick up for her when she accused stay at home parents of being lazy |
t3_11h24a | AskReddit | Reddit, what amiss thing has happened to you, that suddenly turned out all right? | So a about a month ago, the girl I like broke up with her boyfriend (who i'm somewhat friends with). A couple of weeks later I decided to work up enough courage to ask her out to our Homecoming dance. She appreciated that I asked her, and thought it was sweet, but said that she told her ex that she wouldn't take anyone since he was still sore about her breaking up with him. I told her it was fine, and how I respected her decision, and she was really happy that I understood. So fast forward to Homecoming. I take a break from dancing to go to the gym to grab something to drink because apparently they saw no point in turning on the A/C in the Commons where the dance was being held. On my way out of the gym I noticed the first slow song of the night began to play, and all those who didn't want to look embarrassed by just standing there began to make their way to the gym for the meantime. I noticed the girl I liked slowly making her way off the floor, when I saw her ex dancing with her best friend. So in the back of my mind I thought that was a dick thing to do, so I walked up to her and asked her to dance. She agreed and I found a spot next to her friend, and ex, who glared at me for the next part of the dance. With that I probably had my best homecoming dance yet, and gained a bit of confidence. | Asked girl to homecoming, and was turned down because of personal reasons, still had an awesome slow dance with her later. |
t3_3ybpm2 | personalfinance | I received a large check from my Grandfather, how should I use it to pay off my debt and create an emergency fund? | I moved a few months ago so I could start a job in a new city right after college (~$45,000 salary, no 401k) and I have just started to feel like I'm not paying off the expenses of moving anymore. This Christmas I received a $6,000 check from my grandfather, and I'm planning on using it to get to a more financially stable place, but don't know what the best way to go about that is as I'm still pretty fresh out of college.
Where I am right now:
- $2,500 credit card debt (17% interest rate, paying $150 a month in an attempt to pay it off)
- Already in the process of looking for a used vehicle in the $7,500 range (I was planning on doing this before receiving the check as my current vehicle is done for, old vehicle should bring about a $1,000 as a down payment hopefully)
- Manageable $30,000 student loans
- A few bucks in savings
My plan right now is to pay off the credit card in whole, perhaps use no more than $1,000 to supplement the car down payment so I can have the car payed off in less than 2 years, and then stick the rest in savings as an emergency fund, while also taking the money that I've been using to pay off the credit card and throwing that into savings as well. What can you wonderful people in PF recommend? Book recommendations for learning how to manage finances better would be great too. | Got a $6k check for Christmas, should I use it to pay off my credit card, small downpayment on car, and put the rest in savings? |
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