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i don t want to die i just want to not be here anymore every time i ve tried to explain this to someone they can t seem to understand i just want stop feeling this way | 1 |
i m sincerely done with this living my saving ha finally dried up i will soon lose my home my car and am unable to find work regardless i m just done i ve grown so tired of being tired | 1 |
it s in the morning working tuesday but except me everybody else is working i am here glued to the bed feeling extremely disoriented the room is a mess have no appetite my plant need care important work need to finish i don t know somebody like found the switch and turned off my life | 1 |
i ve been struggling with depression since i wa younger i wa bullied until graduated i went off to college and managed to make a couple friend and even a girlfriend then i tried to weed which wa the turning point of my life i wa a habitual smoker and i smoked all through the day and night me and my girlfriend i quit my job flunked college and on top of that my girlfriend went ghost on me i found out she wa pregnant with twin through a mutual friend i wa so hurt because i ve been nothing but good too her i d give her my last when i have nothing myself they hurt me so much i begin eating and i gained so much weight my confidence is at a all time low i lost hope in life i broke no love life no friend and misunderstood by everyone i m alone and lost in life | 1 |
i m an adult but i want to escape my family completely i don t know where to start i ve told my therapist that i hate my family and stuff he replied with well they are really wealthy maybe you should continue being provided since you have your need to be met with i highly believe he s saying because of my mental issue i m diagnosed with ptsd ed psychosis mdd major clinical depressive disorder satiety etc but i don t think it s that serious because i can stabilize myself i have okay coping mechanism it feel like my therapist doesn t think i can stand on my foot by myself without my family i live with my family but i bought a house with their money and my money from work yes i did tell my family i wanted to leave but they said okay but first give u our 00 thousand back they helped me buy a house and now because of a fight they want me to stay home and own up to my mistake ridiculous thing is that they offered to pay and said i didn t need to pay them back now they re blackmailing me i told them i would because i have good bank i m a banker for a reason they then said something like you have no right to be saying that a banker is nothing respected blah blah blah they went on about how i should ve continued the line in our family of becoming engineer or surgeon the hardest part isn t even dealing their expectation of me it s the fact some of my family member especially my older brother and mom are narcissist some of you are probably thinking well why don t you just move into your home and ignore them if i move into my home they said they will have the higher ups of my job fire me i don t know what my parent want from me i m just stressed and going crazy because of their existence i know i can legally cut my parent off but don t know where to start do i have to make a call first anyone have info i d greatly appreciate it i ve dealt with my parent from teen year to now but i ve had enough of it i thought i d be free from their grasp once i become an adult but i m still stuck and i hate myself for having mental issue it s bothersome | 1 |
i need to talk to a professional but i can t bring myself to trust they won t just throw bullshit med at me until i m numb and addicted i just need to talk and explain why my brain doe what it doe and how i can navigate around pill for a solution someone with more insight than a prescription pad | 1 |
i f met my girlfriend on a game called genshin impact she is amazing really kind to me and is the first person who ha made me feel loved in a really long time the problem is that i still deal with suicidal thought worse now than any point before in my life and what hurt all the more is that i don t want to disappear from her i quite frequently find myself cry because of the thought of her losing me i ve felt incredibly lonely for most of my life that i can remember i used to feel like nobody would miss me if i died now i know there s someone who would really miss me and it hurt a lot i don t want to talk to her about this mainly because i feel like my bad mental health already affect her too much and i really don t like making her upset i wa on the verge of getting to therapy but then money trouble hit my family i feel hopeless and i wish i didn t meet her so i could just end it without feeling terrible | 1 |
everyday of my life is hell i m forced into this religious cult my parent pick my friend from the religion i m depressed feel like dying daily i have anxiety my parent don t even check up on me like parent are supposed to do i don t have many people i can talk to and let my feeling out so sometimes i come here and rant my frustration out i m turning on may th so i m gon na get a job and move out and live my life but my mom isn t helping me she tell me i m gon na be a prostitute get hooked on drug and end up homeless and y crazy which i m not and she s making me feel bad i m a good child i have straight a s shockingly i do everything she asks me too i don t know what else she want from me i have so much stress on me from her and i can t take it anymore | 1 |
i m a year old man ever since the covid started i feel like that is something off about me i feel like i don t want to do anything and lay down on the bed all day and consistently skip the meal i can get pretty emotional sometimes a a man i obviously can t show my emotion to anyone or even my parent a a sign of showing weakness so i want to know doe anyone feel the same way a me or i m just a pussy | 1 |
for a bit of context i wa born into a dysfunctional family a drug addict alcoholic and abusive father my mother only finished high school but even so she left that place because she didn t want u to go through all that violence a my mother ha no study she had to work in several place and all day to be able to support u so she got a person who didn t live far from our house to take care of u while she wa away there i wa abused by the person who took care of u but i never said anything some time later my mum took u to my aunt who had to be paid to look after me she had two cousin there and all the time they were bothering me insulting me and i couldn t do anything because i wa year old and they were almost i saw how they fought with each other all the time and one day they almost killed each other one of them had blood all over his face and went to the kitchen to get a knife but luckily my aunt arrived and separated them also at some point where my aunt wa supposed to take care of me but i ended up in an orphanage i had never felt so abandoned so forgotten and alone after a while my mother took me out of there i hated that place with all my heart the people there were rude all the time they made the other child cry and they never cared i kept going with my aunt because my mum didn t have anyone else unfortunately my aunt never cared and left me with my dad i don t remember how thing happened but my dad and i were in the same shower and what you all know happened i never told anyone only that i couldn t get close to people anymore because everyone somehow end up hurting you i wa a pretty lonely and very shy child and that s how my childhood went on i wa bullied at school but i never cared and i kept going i wa the first place at school i practiced swimming and even competed my mum met another man and from that moment on we can consider him a my real dad he gave u everything he accepted child who were not his although he wa never affectionate with me i still love him we moved to another city and where i am living i went to secondary school and that is when i stopped being the shy boy i became a much more aggressive person nobody bothered me anymore and i had friend but i still felt empty i continued to be the first place i joined the scout and i also made nice friend but i continued to feel empty i got into high school and also made a lot of friend but i never felt satisfied i did kung fu and competed and got third place in a tournament but i wa never really happy the pandemic came and i spent two year locked up at home i didn t go out much with my friend but i went on with my life a year ago i went to university and i met more people and a there are no longer restriction i have gone out a lot with them but it is a if i could no longer hide my unhappiness going out with them i realised that i don t feel part of i don t feel part of my family either i started wrestling training and i only feel physical tiredness and i forget about my problem for the time that the practice last a few day ago i got my first place award from the university but i didn t feel anything neither happiness nor sadness absolutely nothing and now that i think about it it s like i ve always been dead all my life i ve felt like that | 1 |
writing i made when i wa really unhinged and on the brink i m okay now but just thought i d share because i feel like it s okay writing no instruction or specific included it s mostly poetic and broad i think i m going to go for a drive a nice long drive not to clear my head but to say goodbye say goodbye to that lovely wind that touch my face a i push my hand out through the window and dance with the gust a it glide and surf through the earth breath say goodbye to the random song i used to love that turn on on the radio that i had forgotten from a time of pure bliss goodbye to the really pretty white cloud that are shaped so smoothly a it contrast the bright blue say goodbye to the nice feeling i get in my body a a smile slowly creep in my face by this time i plan to have my note already written out all sitting neatly folded in my pocket this is no time for emotional anguish or the opening of floodgate of all distraught that s already been done with the ink that lie on those paper all my pain all my misery they re all tucked away in my pocket gone from my body my leg my face my eye my throat my breath i feel free free of chain that brought my neck so bent over the ground that feel so grey free from all thing holy and unholy a sort of satisfaction for a coward dy a thousand death and i am no longer scared i m going to redacted park to hike one last time to say goodbye to that long river that flow across the center to the tall tree that shaded enough sun to keep you warm yet comfortable i think i will do it there somewhere i ve never felt any sadness it s been many year of pain so maybe the last thing i ll do on this earth is smile | 1 |
my family only care when im manic but im just quiet they act like nothing ever happened idk if i want them to care or is me just wanting attention but im really tired of living for them | 1 |
maybe not just empty but part of me is absolutely devastated and the other part of me is aware that it s for the best and the rest of me is split between hate and love my emotion are so disconnected like mismatched puzzle piece nothing feel right not just because i m seeing a puzzle but because some piece are from another making it impossible to solve internally i want to go back and be babied by him and feel helpless in a good way but ha that ever happened no it wa an illusion he doesn t actually love me he never did all that talk of soulmates and staying into the end i don t know if i should even believed it or not i haven t believed in soulmates for year and this might be another reason why all because he said i love you wa i even loved | 1 |
so i m f and i finished college right when the pandemic hit march 0 0 so my internship got cancelled and i ended up getting no experience in my field i work in fast food and decided to wait a bit before job hunting cause the pandemic made everything crazy and i felt safe where i wa i also wa considering going back to school cause i wa uncertain if i wanted to stick with my degree but i ve decided i ll only go back if i find something i know i ll be passionate about and i haven t fast forward to year later and i ve hit my limit and started to seriously job hunt because i can t stand working in fast food anymore my parent treat me like i m a loser for still working there and tell me i need to get my life together and make it clear they want me to move out in a few year they don t need to treat me like that at all because trust me i hate my job it make me so miserable and my depression ha been so bad this winter because of it i ve felt like life isn t worth living and i have this horrible fantasy of getting into a car crash etc just so i don t have to work i apply to job day after day but never even get any interview and i m trying to be patient but none of these job want to hire someone with 0 experience in the field and it s so unfair how am i ever supposed to start and get experience when they all want someone with year i wa so close to quitting my job this weekend cause i ve hit my limit with how understaffed we always are and how rude customer and manager are but i can t afford it so i either have to stay patient and suffer through my current job or maybe leave it for something else while i still continue to look for a office job but i feel like any retail job would be just a bad so i don t know what to do this job is sucking the life out of me and i feel so burnt out every single day when i get home i never have energy to game much which is my biggest hobby and i feel so negatively about myself for still working there at my age and my parent make me feel so much worse with their rude comment i m just feeling really discouraged and mad at myself for only starting to look for a new job now but i can t go back and change the past and i know job hunting can take awhile and persistence but it s just so hard when you work a really toxic job and want to leave so badly but can t cause you need the money so you feel trapped if i had the money tbh i would go back to college cause i loved college i loved how i felt like i wa open to so many possibility and loved how it felt like i wa learning new thing everyday and now i feel so trapped and suffocated but it s too late and i need to stick with the degree i got | 1 |
would like to know i ve been considering inpatient treatment recently and this is one of my biggest fear a losing my license could drastically complicate my life and make my issue worse in the long term | 1 |
i feel rlly bad rn i wan na cry but i can t i wish i could cry but i feel so numb and distant like a robot all i can really do is lie down while a few drop fall from my eye i wish i could cry my heart out and let it all out im so tired i hate myself so much | 1 |
hello thank you for reading my post and any advice would be appreciated so i m a 9 year old guy from southern california i dated my ex for about month and it wa a relationship plagued with many issue she cheated on me at the beginning of the relationship and i later found out stayed with her and then cheated on her it wa this weird situation because we both wronged each other so we saw it a we re equal let s try to make this work though our relationship could be considered rocky at best i still loved her very much and i had never felt such strong emotion for someone like that before she wa my first real girlfriend she introduced me to her family and vice versa we went on vacation with each other we went to punk show and enjoyed music because we had a similar taste in music around december she caught me flirting with girl on my phone and i guess you can say she ended the relationship but everything wa still the same we would see each other regularly have sex pretty regularly go out and do thing with one other and talk all the time like we did it wa almost a like we never even broke but she said the relationship wa over but if i prove to her that i would make a change that we would get back together at first i wa super apologetic and begged her for forgiveness but i soon realized that everything wa still the same minus the fact that we technically aren t in a relationship anymore i did a lot of soul searching and talking to those around me who told me it wa for the best that we didn t date anymore so i started talking to other girl around this time i meet my guitar teacher and started playing the guitar i ve been playing for about month now it s something that make me very happy and i enjoy doing it like i mentioned earlier with my ex everything felt the same except we technically weren t in a relationship but she would still say she love and care about me in december i wa still trying to get her forgiveness she bought me these sick computer speaker i bought her this ring with our name engraved on it but she didn t really seem to like it and even left it at my house and never took it even though that s what she wa begging me to buy for her at one point i told her that it bothered me that she completely just tossed away the ring and her response is why would i wear a promise ring when i ve broken the promise i didn t have a rebuttal to it so i dropped the subject january rolled around and the idea of trying to gain her favor back and earning our relationship back grew to disdain we both were on bumble tinder talking to other people flirting but we still would be in this weird situation where we were in this relationship saying i love you to each other so like i mentioned earlier i had downloaded dating apps and met flirted with some girl and she wa doing the same thing but i told her that i m growing tired of this weird thing and that i want to be back with her and try to make thing work and she wa kinda blowing it off i deleted all the dating apps i wasn t meeting flirting with any girl and i didn t do anything with anyone besides her this whole time so fast forward to my birthday on february st and she bought ticket for u to go to knot berry farm amusement park here in socal we had a good time and we ended up having sex later that night during this whole weird period we were having sex pretty consistently my birthday ended up being the last time we saw each for a while because my best friend said that they saw her on bumble tinder i made new account and i saw her she swiped right on me both time and it set me off because i kept telling her i wanted to be with her and wanted to start over and she said wanted to a well but wanted to make sure but wanted wait and that she loved me and only wanted to be with me would always say she can t imagine being with anyone but me so seeing her on these apps even though we told each other we weren t going to be on them anymore so i sent her this long message telling her how i felt about her our relationship and the whole tinder bumble situation and that i wa through with her then it wa almost a she flipped the script and that she wa the one begging me to get back with each other and she pulled her whole i love you i can t imagine being with one else but you blah blah but i wa done and wa ready to emotionally move which i feel like for the most part i have so i completely stopped talking to her many of my close friend helped me out a lot especially my best friend i felt sorta free in a way and i wa trying my best to move on i met other girl and had hookup with a lot of them i mean last week i had sex with two different girl in one night on friday but every time i feel like happy at first after but then shortly after i go back to this feeling of emptiness that i have been feeling i and my family had a trip planned out to give a visit to our family in el salvador and we went it wa only for a week but it wa the happiest i had been in so long a soon a i came back that feeling of emptiness came back full force a couple of week after i came back me and my friend decided we wanted to try shrooms it wa a whole ordeal to get them but we somehow got them we had it all planned out but it kinda fell through me and my best friend ended up taking the i unfortunately had a bad trip at first the trip went super well but i took about gram and it wa my first time and i started telling my friend i wa depressed then it turned into i m planning on committing suicide when i m older but something came upon me and i wa telling him i wanted to kill myself right then and there and i tried to kill myself but my friend stopped me i have been pretty traumatized since that night and i have been thinking about it so much during the time i wa in el salvador my ex made a tik tok about me saying i wa a terrible person and that i treated her horrible and that she wa the victim of the relationship and it got like 000 view she also posted a video on her instagram story of some random licking her face and her kissing him after so i wanted nothing to do with her anymore but after my bad trip i felt emotionally vulnerable and i texted her back and i told her what i went through and we started texting again she told me that she wanted to see me again and i wasn t there emotionally she came over and we ended up having sex and we ve done this twice now i just feel like i have gone through so much these last month and it ha been so much to handle after i took the shrooms i felt like i needed to better my action and i planning on going back to school i have stopped smoking weed and drinking i never did it often but i want to completely stop i m growing tired of this constant feeling of emptiness i feel every day of my life and i feel like i haven t been trying to move my life forward and i keep going back to the same place i keep telling myself i want to move from i don t know if it s depression or what but i m tired of the way i feel sometimes when i think about my bad trip i just chalk it up to me being high but other time i feel like that deep down i actually want to and that the shrooms just made me realize i love and appreciate my best friend my other friend and my family because they provide me with amazing support but these feeling still linger and i m growing tired of it the thing that ha been providing me with happiness is playing guitar and it s been my escape i would appreciate someone to talk to maybe i need someone fresh perspective | 1 |
i don t feel like trying to make thing better in fact i never did i just accepted it a a part of life it may be because i ve never been that much of a person that work hard i m just lazy in general i like to take thing easy if you re lazy apathetic and unmotivated there s pretty much no chance of overcoming depression | 1 |
amp x 00b so i m in my thirty i m about to finish my phd in one of the world s best university and this morning i felt fine i usually revert to writing in here a a way of emptying my soul and feeling better usually it work and it ha taken me from the deepest pit of my depression to a milder state of mind not to a happy place mind you but to a lower scale bout of depression i come from a rocky couple of year i have discovered that my old supervisor had tricked an exam against me to have me fail and kicked out of the uni check my older post for this story also involving the examiner the full professor who deemed me too ugly fat and stupid for a phd full quote i have found support in the wider academic world with a world renown name offering me a job first and then agreeing to supervise me if i had not taken it i have sued the university kind of it wa a process internal to the university but i had to hire a lawyer i have won a crushing win against the faculty i have never seen a similar humiliation for a faculty and an examiner said a friend and former judge i have repeated the exam i have passed the exam i am now a month from submission my new supervisor and my friend unofficial supervisor have just promoted my dissertation with flying color so i basically need to write a conclusion of a couple of page cross the t dot the is and hand in what ha been long year of my life should have been but these shenanigan robbed me of full year of my life i am however today back in the pit of the grad school depression a i am not sure it is finished remember the humiliated full professor above when i passed the exam one of the examiner wa a friend of his who basically did everything in his power to fail me i passed because the other examiner took my side in the shouting match it wa ugly a fuck and basically told me that the humiliation of me winning in court could not pas without further action now i even though my dissertation is unassailable i do not trust the university and i am fully expecting a final hack job at the thesis defence and against that i am powerless | 1 |
i don t feel any desire towards anything in life anymore i see life a a pointless pursuit that ha more pain than joy it s simply not worth it if i m playing a video game or watching a tv show and it s not getting better i simply want to turn it off my passion energy love motivation and empathy isn t what it used to be and i feel trapped i feel like cement when i wake up and lay there until the hunger drive me out of bed i m stuck in my head all day and feel dead to myself and this world i can t even hate myself anymore or bring myself to really do anything i wish so many thing in this life were different but they never will be | 1 |
i feel very apathetic towards everything in my life i just have no drive or ambition towards anything like i m just living just because people tell me to live i don t want to be here in life or anywhere really i just want to not exist a good portion of what i ve done in life is only for the approval of others now that i m older the more i just stop caring about others i know you all will probably suggest to maybe try other thing now that you don t care about other people s opinion find thing that actually enjoy i did i took a break from uni and decided to dive into art and a bunch of hobby i found them to very meaningless i don t know how to explain it but i felt like i wa faking enjoying the thing i did just to prove to myself that i am getting better and that i am like other people i did them just to do them i m just depressed that my family had to be stuck with a daughter like me because i m nothing but lazy and careless i don t want to burden it d be so much easier for me if i could just die in my sleep so i can save myself from hurting my family by committing suicide not existing is the only choice i want | 1 |
i hate life today that s it that s the post | 1 |
i wish my world would just end now i don t want to keep going on this shit called life is so sad and depressing i just don t want to keep living | 1 |
my mom called me disgusting for my dirty room even though she know i m depressed am i disgusting i try to clean but it just go back to dirty i m disgusting and lazy | 1 |
i m not joking been having a pounding headache after a meltdown why actually i m personally not surprised since i have like a laundry list of trigger it s just like damn really i can t even cry in peace depression is a bitch weirder part is if you are cutting onion or even cry because something good happens it doesn t trigger a migraine or a tension headache it s just negative cry that doe it | 1 |
i m so fucking done with everything what s the point of life nothing i ever do will make a permanent impact nothing anyone ever doe will make a permanent impact sure you can be famous you can discover something important but what s the point all we have are our silly little life on our silly little planet and it s all going to be destroyed someday nothing is going to last even if we escape the expanding sun billion year from now if we still exist even if we flee to another place in space we re all just eventually going to die out all information and evidence of our existence will die out i could live any life i wanted i could be rich and famous painfully average or i could waste away all my life but it doesn t matter because no matter what i do nothing will ever be worth it what s the point of trying if i m just going to die everyone always say well enjoy the moment appreciate the little thing yeah no that s bullshit why should i enjoy anything if i won t even remember it after i die why should i do anything if nothing matter sure i can enjoy the moment but what s the point everything in the universe is going to die out some day and then it will just keep expanding and it ll be dark and cold and nothingness why did we even exist in the first place everything is so complicated i never asked to live but sometimes i want to live after i die because there ha to be something anything other than this i am so fucking desperate i really hope there s something after i die but at the same time i hope there s nothing because i m so tired of existing there s no point in it there s no point in anything and i can t enjoy life anymore because these thought keep coming up what do i do | 1 |
i m on anti depressant for month now and they changed my life completely like i went from a terrible suicidal wreck to a normal functioning human being i had a good a no bad mood some physical issue even went away and i definitely had a more positive outlook on life i wa lucky enough to even have almost no side affect so i feel like my body work quite well with them around week ago i slowly started to get a little bit of bad feeling not too much or anything i thought it s probably normal because no human feel good every single day but the more time went by the heavier the bad mood gots until this evening where i found myself in bed hating the fact that i m alive it scare me because for the first time in my life i ve felt somewhat normal and okay with being alive and i don t wan na go back because i got ta do this for my family is it normal that it get like this | 1 |
so long story short i recently started to become what i think is depressed thing is after the first few day of it being a bit tough i became to find it enjoyable to some extent amp x 00b to put it simply it ha let me achieve something i ve been trying to achieve for a very long time near zero emotion positive or negative but this time it isn t from repressing my emotion i also don t crave nearly a much social interaction a before and i give no shit meaning i wa able to get work done in class i usual hate since i don t hate them anymore the main downside to all this are increased tiredness increased frustration and low motivation low motivation and increased tiredness don t really bother me since i don t get homework and i don t have a job so it s not getting in the way of anything the increased frustration however is a wee bit annoying since i seem to quit my game way more than usual making me lose progress i also know i won t do anything suicidal cause that would violate of my core logical value amp x 00b all in all i rate this experience a 0 it would be an 0 if it weren t for the increased frustration | 1 |
i always feel everyone dislike me and laugh behind my back my own friend i feel even hate me secretly am i just paranoid or could there be something to this in my past most people have hated me on sight a well so i m confused is this just from being depressed for too long i also feel like a burden on my partner and friend just by being around or even saying one word i feel i waste my partner time completely along with friend time my friend friend actually leave call whenever i show up a well so it s a sign of something i often time honestly feel it would be easier on those around me if i passed away due to the hatred i feel if everyone hate me so much why am i still around | 1 |
the only reason i havent killed myself is because i know i d hurt the people that are close to me but is it really to sacrifice my happiness for theirs | 1 |
i m tired of having this literal disease that i consider depression i feel trapped a if i m in a prison cell i m desperate to get out of it especially now more than ever but all it doe is keep me back even if i try to escape and become a properly functioning human being depression beat me down like a prison guard with a baton it hold me back keeping me from flourishing and becoming that best version of me that i so wish to be i don t feel like i m able to connect with anyone i have no friend or anyone that care about me in a more than friend way it s hell being an infp like myself i seek connection that is long lasting and strong i m getting help soon but i wonder to myself what if the medication don t help what if they don t keep the depression at bay enough to allow me to live in the moment and happy will all this desperation be for nothing i don t want to fight anymore if it end up being the case im weary but i have just enough fight in me to try one more time i want to put my life together i want to be happy i want to get to a point where i can look back and appreciate that i fought my way to success i just want to be to really exist instead of live every day trapped in my own mind while my body is on autopilot giving fake smile and telling lie that i m okay i m not okay i never wa depression is the worst don t you agree | 1 |
the exact date are kind of fuzzy at this point but it s so stupid he said they put me in an altered state seriously i need them to sleep and not hate every waking moment of my life | 1 |
i m m and all i feel like i do is dissapoint everyone around me it suck i remember everyone used to tell me that i would have a bright life when i wa a kid and i look at myself now unable to talk to people hold down a conversation without saying sorry every second i just feel like such a dissapointment and feel like everyone in my life would be so much better without me i see my partner of year just thrive in her life and it just kill me so much knowing that someone who is so full of life love me i feel so bad for her sometimes since my anxiety get so bad to the point where i get panic attack going to her family house or even taking her out to a restaurant i ve never felt this low in my life and all i can think of now is just offing myself to spare everyone of my misery nobody deserves to have someone who is just a downer all the time | 1 |
i am and think i m depressed idk what is but happiness just is not the same anymore it feel bland from what it used to be it all started when my mom separated from my verbally abusive dad when i wa 0 after that is spiraled down and down my aunt uncle grandma and grandpa dying left and right and my aunt turning out to be racist even tho i m her nefew i went to therapy for year but it did not help i dated my best friend who i have known since i wa a kid and it did not work out the relationship is ruined and now we barely talk i have plenty other friend but it doe not feel the same i hate school but my mom say i cant drop out and i have to have the best grade posible i know she is doing what she is supposed to and i wan na try but it so hard to even find the will to stay alive i m very self conscious and do not like the way i look i have a girlfriend but it doe not feel like what i thought it would be and doe not help me mentally at all overall i want to off my self because of the thing that s i ve done and thing i ve been through i don t know what is stopping me i don t think it selfish if i off myself and i don t really see any benefit if i stay alive i don t believe in true love and i m not happy at all really my mom want me to graduate so i can be happy but school make me even more unhappy but i think that s just cause i m a kid i don t even know if i ll make it past let alone go to college i just wan na know why can t i be happy | 1 |
my gf might be pregnant we haven t done it for month now she told me with all honesty that she and her boy best friend did it last month she only did it because she wa drunk and had a fight with her parent i had no idea about that until now she s delayed week i feel like my chest is getting crushed by what she had done i can t cry but damn it hurt so bad i don t know what to do i admire her honesty but the pain is still here in my heart she doesn t want to break up with me either she said she s sorry i love her i really do | 1 |
tw sh suicide i m a year old still in high school with depression anxiety intrusive thought and a emerging personality disorder i got diagnosed year ago now and once i heard that it wa overwhelming it made me feel labelled a a kid who wa no longer a kid but a mentally ill person and it wa horrible it put me in the worst place of my life and after service and service all spoke to me the most important thing i realised is that i m never going to be the same person before i wa diagnosed and i had to accept the fact i m not okay that wa the first step into recovery and year in im finally starting to get better bit by bit iknow how hard menial task can be such a getting out of bed showering eating etc which is why i m glad so many people know how hard it is to having people who understand is another key thing that helped me start to recover a a lot of other people suffering from depression i self harmed and i self harmed for a year and a half it became almost an addiction and for the first time since i started i can finally say i no longer want to do it i m currently day sober from a relapse after month sober relapsing is a part of recovery which is a thing i m still learning because when you relapse you don t think this is natural your first thought it oh ffs all that progress i made is gone but intact it s not it s just a part of it i also suffer from suicidal tendency meaning that i have constant suicidal thought and i have attempted time it sound bad and it is but i m glad i did because it made me realise how much i want to live the last one wa the worst one my mum found me hanging in my room and cut me down and instead of going ballistic she listened to me and got me the help i needed now me and my whole family are closer than ever so a horrible situation worked out the best i decided to write this to let people read if they want to and know that no matter how bad you are at that point there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel cliche but true and make sure you don t lose track of the most important instinct survival thank you for reading it mean a lot | 1 |
hello guy my name is t m or soul heart in my language i have been struggling with depression for year now and reached a breaking point some time ago i have always been a quiet and lonely person and never had any close friend my circle ha been small and at time completely empty lately a i branch out socially i find myself rejected or misunderstood mental illness and emotion are not really discussed in vietnam and i have been called too sensitive and emotional it got to the point where i almost ended my life however i found a saving grace with a therapist i just wanted to hop on here and wanted to give you guy hope and love that i wasn t given you are all wonderful stay strong and know that you are worthwhile there is nothing wrong with you and emotion are thing to be treasured they help u grow and love but do not yield to the negative one | 1 |
how do you guy deal with depression other than avoiding it i can t keep this up lol sleeping is my only coping mechanism and it s not a good one i m so drained any advice also more important any advice for feeling le sad about unaccepting parent i m trans and can t really deal with my parent negative reaction i can t cope well is what i mean i have to wait several year to even transition to the gender i wa supposed to be born a bc i m too young to afford it all myself i hate this this body and this life sorry for bringing the mood down also school suck i wish it wa fun it suck the fun out of learning i m too tired to type anymore though so have fun reading this mess of word crunched together | 1 |
seriously applying for job is hard enough for a stable person but when you have someone like me with no qualification no education no nothing applying for job is downright a soul crushing experience deep down i seriously don t even want the shitty as job anyway but i have to in order to survive then thinking about once i move out living alone in a crappy place working this meaningless job make me internally dieing i genuinely wish i wa never born into this era i don t belong here at all | 1 |
the past few year have gotten tough and my depression ha done irreversible damage to both my body and my life my teeth are rotten and painful my hair is greasy and my skin is awful my body is caked in self harm scar and cigarette burn i ve pushed away everyone who care about me i ll be lucky if i get out of school with more than gcse pass no one like me and i have no real hobby i wish i wa better now but i wish even more that i would ve gotten better a long time ago before the real damage wa done i miss being able to smile confidently to wear short t shirt without people judging me i wish i wa doing well enough in school to get into sixth form i wish i hadn t done this to myself i am ruined | 1 |
so about day ago i started sh again and i cut to deep i waited a week till i went to the hospital by then it wa to late to get stitch but the doctor said i should have got them my best friend knew i went to the doctor and she told me i didn t need stitch she accused me of lying and doesn t believe me she act like she s a doctor and always act like she s right | 1 |
am i the only one that wish humanity would just die out i fucking hate this place and i hate people and i hate society i m very sick and very close to going out into the wood and hanging myself what is the point of any of this bullshit | 1 |
i m so tired i really wish i could like myself i feel like all my thought are so complicated i can t do anything for myself every thing i do is for others yet i feel like such a selfish emotionally cut off and unempathetic person and i hate myself for it i have such high expectation for people and i get sad when they don t meet them i feel like that isn t normal i hate it i hate that i create scenario in my head of how people are going to treat me good and when they don t do what i expected i get sad that doesn t feel normal why am i like that i hate doing good and then falling into a dark hole that s so hard to get out of it feel like it s never going to end i m so tired i hate myself so much i just wish i could love myself i feel so shut off and all i want is someone to just hold me and tell me it s okay that s something i hate about myself too that i want people shouldn t i just feel happy alone am i too codependent am i ill am i too obsessive and optimistic in the worse way i m exhausted because of these thought i m so tired of my anxiety just myself it feel like everything that happens is all my fault even when i try to do good i m a bad person i try to do good for myself and i hurt other people i can t handle that i just want to love myself i can t figure myself out i m so so so tired | 1 |
guy i need help i m feel bad in my skin for too long so trying to feel better i m sinking in the alcoholism i don t know what to do i don t know what i want and every place i work for i don t feel aligned i know there is more important than this problem a ukrainian war or starving people but how can i impact positively the world when i m sinking deeper everyday and the fact that i see myself sinking feel like i add one more stone to sink even deeper and faster horrible feeling i need help please thank to all of you for taking the time to read | 1 |
for year now i ve always thought of suicide a a back up plan whenever somethings went wrong i just thought oh well i m not going to be here much longer it doesn t matter but i ve never thought of the aftermath i hate the thought of my decomposed possibly mangled body i hate the fact my family friend would have to see that i hate to put them in that position ive never thought of it in their perspective in general im just a coward it might sound good i don t want to kill myself but now i feel very claustrophobic i feel like i cant breathe there no escape | 1 |
hi im an m and i just feel i am a lost cause i hate everything about my life and barley if at all want to do any of the work to make it better nothing about my life is horrible besides my relationship but thats another story lol i live in an average middle class house with my dad and have a decent setup for life i have friend who like me for me i hope and have started to go to party and etc but i just cant shake my depression or feeling of hating myself ive been like this since i wa or and nothing could help and all ive gotten is worse i wa a smart kid but now i haven t done any of my schoolwork and im supposed to graduate in month and i cheated through all of last year schooling because of covid i had a job then switched to doing doordash instacart since im but now i cant even motivate myself to go do that i hate my body the way i act i especially hate being gay i hate my adhd i hate that i get jealous of other people being happy with themselves it really hurt and i hate that i feel like i have no passion in life and i have nothing i really want to work towards besides having nice clothes and even then when i think of that i get more unmotivated because i already hate my body and wish clothes fit better on me already so i just get disappointed and think i will never look remotely close to the way i want i really think this is because of the tik tok era my body make me feel disgusting and i feel like i have the ugliest face in the world im like abnormally skinny 9 0 lb but i cant gain weight because even when i try i forget to eat or put it off to continue what im fixated on at the moment like i had my first meal at pm today ive asked my dad various time to get me setup with a psychiatrist but that will never happen knowing my parent ive been recommended to a therapist by my school counselor since th grade the only one ive had is the school provided one they gave for covid i just like in general hate myself and my life and i feel even worse about it because i shouldn t hate it i have a lot that i should be grateful for that i just take for granted for god sake i have been in my room for the past month doing nothing most people do not have that kind of luxury amp x 00b oh yeah and on the topic of my relationship which i think contriubutes to this feeling gt we ve been on and off for like year almost now i wa groomed im pretty sure he im you can do the math he is emotionally abusive and denies that he wa horribly abusive to me in the past for example he used to tell me about people asking to hookup with him constantly boost his own ego he put me down with insult and name accuses me of causing a scene or starting something when i have a reaction to a rude action he doe he didnt get me anything for valentine day or christmas he ha hit me twice but love to be like it wa a shirt i whipped you with and im sure he like that im depressed he ha said im going to end up a strung out drug addict like my mom that im a loser who will rot away who isn t even doing that bad rn and she isn t a strung out addict never wa she wa rich most her life im sorry if this isn t cohesive or whatever i just needed somewhere to vent my thought and hopefully get help i just really wish i didnt feel like this and my brain didnt hate me i wish i could just go to the gym and start doing my school work and get myself on track but i just cant | 1 |
i m dealing with debt wasted year of my university getting awful grade i disappoint my family left and right i have no confidence in myself and i hate my body i wa low key molested by my best friend when he wa drunk my childhood dog had to be put down after i took care of her for month prior and i feel like it my fault tht i could ve done something better or idk i find solace in anime but even that is starting feel dull i thought i knew what i wanted to do with my life and career but i m so lost i dont know what to do and at this point i feel like ive ruined my life beyond repair i know im and most people just say that im young and i just have too dust everything off and it ll be fine but it not it never is and ive been in this loop of depression since i wa i think about taking my life and then think about how selfish it is to my friend family and little sister i can t do that to her and yet i still think about i i m so lost | 1 |
i m just wondering if anyone ha experienced people in healthcare disbelieving how depressed you are because you have a job i hold a very low level easy work from home job i m sure if i wasn t depressed i d be able to do a much higher level job but my current job is not demanding at all and honestly there are day when i cry for the entire day however i ve had psychiatrist downplay how depressed i am because i have a job at all i wish i didn t have to work but i d become homeless pretty quickly so it s not like i really have a choice i just find it frustrating because some of these doctor aren t prioritizing getting me access to the help i need because of their bias ha anyone else had this kind of experience | 1 |
i hate the constant stress i hate the nonstop work i hate the isolation i hate everything about college but i have realized that my working life will likely be no different work for most of my life dread work for the rest of it and repeat until i die i want to speed up the process and end my life but i can t leave my family in that much pain so i m just stuck in this hell with no escape i am on medication and seeing a therapist it help but it s not enough | 1 |
i feel like i shouldn t get help because i m not depressed enough i don t mope around in bed all day i m doing fine in school and i don t cry myself to sleep at night i want to feel worse so i can prove that i m depressed i feel like i m on my own and don t deserve help i feel like nothing ha happened to make me feel like this and i feel it s selfish for me to ask for help | 1 |
i m i ve been depressed since i wa maybe about 0 year old and i wa diagnosed in 0 0 clinical depression i struggle with substance abuse alcohol and weed and that combined with depression is what caused me to quit my job now all i do is cry and get stoned cry while being stoned sometimes and lay in bed on tiktok i m unhappy in my relationship but i m afraid of losing the best thing i ve ever had i m so unhappy with existence and i m fucking sick of being told to tough it out life isn t easy i don t care if i m not going to be born into a decent world i don t want to fucking participate it s selfish to force me to stay when i contribute nothing to society i have no goal or passion anymore my clinic psychiatrist hasn t reached out to me i quit taking my prozac because it stopped working and one specific event triggered my current depression episode regarding my family and boyfriend i m miserable is anyone else miserable | 1 |
hi everyone i m new to this sub and am just seeking advice support this weekend i entered into a huge depressive episode after not having one for many month i struggle with depression anxiety and ocd but it s been getting better a i ve built a routine and stuff like that this week though i had some personal issue one of which wa feeling heartbroken by a very manipulative ex and trying to get myself out of that rut the other is having to move back to my college town i am from a large city that i feel very much at home in and at college i have literally no friend and hate the small town where it s located it feel toxic for me and i never know what to do with myself i never go out and mostly just sleep to pas time today i had a particularly hard time going back cried my eye out began to feel this raw sense of loneliness and longing had trouble saying goodbye to family etc with my anxiety i also struggle with being worried that my family will die before we see each other next which is a whole other issue but it doe complicate thing can anyone help and provide some advice i do go to therapy and am not open to taking medication right now mostly i m just wondering what people do when they feel these profoundly heavy episode since it s been a while for me what is your go to activity how do you take care of yourself and get back on your foot any tip for detoxing from the internet social medium i think this might trigger me to think about my ex and stuff thank you and sending love to all | 1 |
none of this shit matter where is all this effort and energy going i feel so bad and guilty because i feel i m a low life because i don t want to contribute to society it s a never ending cycle of bullshit i do not want to get married or have any kid because that s unnecessary work fuckkkk | 1 |
i m doing really bad mentally i don t feel up to typing a paragraph explaining what s wrong in my life rn i just want somebody to acknowledge me and let me know that it s gon na be okay | 1 |
ha anyone lost their career or become underemployed due to depression how do you survive are you frightened about how you will retire or get by in old age it s been seven year of mostly unemployment for me and i m horrified when i think of the future | 1 |
why i have to think about thing i am thinking about is this a punishment what did i do to you you are torturing me exactly why i have to think about death existence hollowness loneliness unwanted people like me and why are some more popular then others i have no friend so i have to talk to myself the worst person alive i hate this person he is only negative doesn t like anything why i see only one solution there is nothing but hollowness for u this is place for popular talkative handsome and over all good people so maybe next time i will be luckier i hate my mind and myself | 1 |
warning i ll be ranting about feeling hopeless guilty all the time and having no will to do anything with a splash of bitterness with life lately it feel like there is no hope for thing to get better for me like all the hope i had before is sucked right out of me nothing make me feel better word of encouragement and people saying it will get better that it all temporary and that life is beautiful doesnt make me feel any more hopeful in fact i m tired of hearing all these positive encouragement it make me feel bitter guilty and defensive in a way bitter because well i get very irritated about everything and everyone lately so my brain go well why the fck doe anyone want to live so much anyway whats the fckin point guilty because i feel shitty for not being able to heal despite complying to my medication and regularly meeting my psychiatrist granted med aren t miracle worker you apparently got ta work on yourself to get better which make me feel even more shittier because i don t have the will and energy to do anything and that make me feel like a failure finally i feel defensive cause internally my brain go well it not fcking easy you don t know what i m going through so in the end nothing make sense anymore i don t even wan na live but i still feel guilty for not getting better i don t see the point in life but why haven t i offed myself yet sorry for ranting it been a while doe anyone else feel the same | 1 |
i feel really lazy it wa embarrassing for me to even have to ask for something but it s been over week and everything got worse idk if i feel any different think now i just have even le energy to do anything my room is disgusting my essay are overdue and i haven t been outside in too long i m way too embarrassed to ever say this to my gp no word of encouragement on reddit will help im afraid but idk what to do anymore it s getting worse and every day i m just procrastinating i m scared of everything catching up but somehow can t do anything about it never felt like this before i almost want to hide away and die not literally just don t know how to overcome this there s not a lot and i have a massive incentive | 1 |
it s been a few month since i ve posted they ve medicated me but nothing ha changed i m still a worthless piece of shit no matter what i do i m the problem and no one will ever want me in their life i m never going to be good enough to have a real job or be anything more than a stupid customer service agent i went to college i have put in over 00 job application in the last week when i get an interview even company who contact me first ask me to apply when i arrive they say i m not a good fit it s because i m le than the same thing my mother saw when she gave birth and didn t want me is the same thing everyone else see that make me le than others i am not even worthy of being human i m just trash no pill or medicine will change that i wish i had the strength to self check out i don t tell my therapist bc it doesn t do any good they just want me to pay for more therapy that s supposed to train me to behave my insurance doesnt cover it so it s not even worth mentioning anymore i just wish i wa loved and had a life i felt like mattered i hate myself and the life i wake up too bc i m not good enough to have anything but sorrow | 1 |
i fallen in a dark place i feel like i always been this way how do i look on the brighter side of thing how do i get thru being miserable everyday i feel like if i m in a place too long i get depressed n sad i m constantly on the run no one understands me i feel i keep alot to my self i feel like i m exploding i feel there s no hope i wan na stay in a bed n not get up or go out or do anything anymore how do i cope what do i do i wan na feel normal i wan na shake the feeling i don t wan na be medicated i need the cure of another human being actually caring about my wellness i need a therapist but i can find help so i m here looking for help | 1 |
i used to be someone who wa down with depression for a long time but this doesn t feel like it i wa working 0 hr since the beginning of this year due to my yearly busy season and i m suddenly asked to work jus 0hrs and honestly i feel so lost sometimes the anxiety is crippling like the smallest and most insignificant thing is anxiety inducing but other time i jus feel empty inside it s been a while i have talked to my friend and the only ppl i talk to are friend who keep reaching out despite me not texting them back it s not that i don t want to i jus don t have the energy i don t have the energy to get out of bed and i survived on one meal during a weekend i haven t listened to music or i do the thing i enjoy the most i jus don t know wat make me happy anymore and this is so not me i want to get back to the happier me sorry for the long rant but i can t go out and tell ppl that i miss work is there a diagnosis for this or is there anything that ha personally helped you to get out of this | 1 |
recently i have been feeling really strange and unsure emotionally i feel a lot of thing but i don t know how to express them i think my life is not worth it and my presence doesn t really matter here i know i am rational enough to never do something to myself but i do have thought from time to time but i know if given an opportunity to end everything painlessly without hurting the people i love i would do it | 1 |
my friend use to hear voice she would hear voice in her head of people talking to her but the voice have gone away or at least that is what she think say she think that her neighbour are out to get her she think that her neighbour are plotting to kill her she also think that her neighbour have killed someone else because she said that she heard them admit it and she recorded them admitting that they killed someone she said that her neighbour talk shit about her and want to harm her and say sexual thing to and about her she life in an apartment building and they live right underneath her so she will sit by her window and she will record them because she think that they are talking crap about her and saying that they want to kill and harm her so she will record them trying to get a much evidence a she possible can so she can go to the police the thing is though that nobody else can hear these recording only she can she wa at my house yesterday and she wa playing these recording to u and a the video wa playing she wa like see they just said this and then she would tell u what they said but we don t hear nothing it is completely quiet my boy friend literally had the phone up to his ear and didn t hear anything and she wa a few foot away from him and she supposedly heard it so loud me my boyfriend and other people have listened to these recording and no one else heard anything but her and she say that she hears them talking so loudly when to u it is completely quiet and she is so positive and confident that these recording are real because every video that she ha anytime that she listens to it she always hears the exact same thing on each video so it is not like every single time that she listens to the video she hears something different she ha like video of her neighbour talking about her and every video she hears the same thing like every video say something different but no matter how many time she listens to each video it always say that same thing that it said last time that is why she belief that it is true but again nobody else hears anything the video she show up is completely quiet and no one is talking ha anyone experienced this do you know anyone that ha experience this it is so hard and difficult to watch her go through this because i have been so supportive to her ever since i met her year ago and i will continue being supportive but when i tell her that we don t hear anything she get fraustrated and mad because she hears it i understand why she is fraustrated though because hearing voice that other people don t hear i get can be very stressful and frustrated but i am just stuck it s hard watching someone you love go through this i need advice | 1 |
mdma depression xanax anxiety methamphetamine adhd rohypnol insomnia clozapine psychosis vicodin back pain | 1 |
i can literally wake up and drink a coffee or i can kill myself the earth would keep spinning regardless and nothing change | 1 |
people who have been through depression or terrible life tell your success story or how you have changed i really need it | 1 |
during spring break i found out my mom ha cancer i don t want to go back to school now because i want to spend a much time a i can with her just in case and i can t imagine not living without her i thought we would have so much time together but now i m not sure she s my best friend and i can t live without her i have no motivation to go to class do work study or even go pack to school i m in the middle of jointing a sorority too and i can t bring myself to go to go back to campus to go to event or anything when internally im miserable and screaming i thought life wa going well but now it s not i m not suicidal at all since i m scared of death and could never take my own life but i just want to sleep and not exist i don t want to feel like this at all and i want help but i feel like i won t get it until i do something to be taken seriously i even feel like my friendship are falling apart the one consistent happiness in my life is volleyball and now all my friend are going to play on team without me and i feel so betrayed i feel like everything is piling up at once and i m so overwhelmed and i m gon na screw myself over with school bc im depressed please give me any advice | 1 |
is it okay stay up all night and and fall asleep at around am and then sleep all day long and then literally force yourself out of bed to do office work | 1 |
i never talk about these thing but i m basically getting closer to suicide i ve already seriously tried it a few time and i m still waiting until my family is out of the city to get it right but i still feel sorry for my grandparent i know it s not so normal but sometimes not everyone can handle their problem especially if your parent don t support you in any way and even making thing go worse these last year i think i lost my personality and i went from being the energetic and sociable guy to just a passive and socially isolated one i tried to talk about it but my dad doesn t think depression is a serious stuff and my friend say everyone go through thing like that i mean doe everyone go trough this is this normal | 1 |
i have never felt this feeling so strongly before like my borrowed time is up and my life is just a whisp away from being gone i feel like it s inevitable and i m almost at peace with it it s time i think and it ha been for so long | 1 |
for the last few year or a long a i can remember i haven t enjoyed much of anything sometimes i ll enjoy when i hangout with friend or whenever i m with family but im extremely co dependent to the point where if im alone im depressed and even if im not alone i m probably depressed i just recently started antidepressant and i think they re helping but not really i don t really feel like i connect to people or build connection because im constantly thinking about about x problem i have or x thing that s wrong with me there wa a time period where i thought i wa a narcissist but i hate myself so that s impossible can somebody like help me lmao i also feel like i m a burden to everyone in my life because every time i speak to anyone or interact with anyone it s about how depressed i am or how something is wrong with me | 1 |
im tired exhausted of overthinking i want peace i want my brain to relax and stop thinking for a second im not patient and i want to be in a different part of my life already my job is not helping me at all i have to hide my mental health issue because i feel judged at my job and i know they won t believe me i want to at least work from home because thinking every day about having to go back to that place and committing two hour of my life there and back and then having to deal with the greed they showcase is disgusting trying to find a new job but i live in a place where the average applicant is more than 00 apps per job post waiting on grad application received an acceptance but it s even more heartbreaking than a denial because i can t afford it this world and the decision other make for u is cruel im tired of a lot i want to help others more than i want to help myself but i know i need myself to be good to make a positive impact for others i m really stuck i just want to cry and cry | 1 |
i used to be a swimmer back in elementary 0yrs old it s so quiet underwater and everything feel so light after a year in sport my mom started pressuring me she would compare me a lot to my other teammate and eventually it made me lose my passion for it i tried drowning myself a lot of time and one of my teammate would eventually pull me up i left swimming and suffered half of my junior high life being blamed financially by my mother up to this day i m still afraid of receiving thing because what if they ll blame for losing money for it so instead i would try to get high grade so it ll feel like i deserve it and now i m being pressured a lot again by my family i ll be in college next year and they re expecting me to get into one of those state university i just want to be dissappear at this point | 1 |
a the title say i have been feeling emotional blunting and i don t take any medication i used to see a therapist but stopped month ago i m not even sure if this is related to my depression but for some time now maybe a month or two and more mildly for a long time before that pretty much everything ha been feeling dull i ve always had trouble cry and expressing feeling my emotion in general but now it feel like nothing can provoke strong reaction in me just a few week ago it wa year since my older brother s suicide and i didn t even feel that sad i tried to find the emotion inside of myself but i just couldn t make myself feel the grief much i also took a month break from listening to music since i felt like i wa listening too much and music didn t sound a good a a result and just a few day ago when i finally listened to music again i put on one of my favorite album which used to always evoke such strong feeling in me but this time it just felt empty ha anybody else felt this | 1 |
everyone s depression stem from the world how can you create your own world to make that depression go away no crazy event in my life make me depressed but the world a a whole doe being like me you see everything i see all the behind the scene shit that go on and it s unfortunate i see everyone for who they truly are my brain is wired to out think everyone because i m a male and use logic i use my logic so much that you come to a point where you see life is actually dogshit thing are such a waste life is rigged and people are actor it s like everything is ruined for me and i can never be happy because my brain see the reality of thing most people live in delusion or a fairy tale like life mean something i see no meaning feel like shit then keep having a snowball affect from being depressed then a the future keep coming i get more behind in this game called life it s like everyone is on their foot running to something meaningless while i sit back and watch the rat so much engine in the world i have a human instinct in me that i wish i never had i distant myself from these human because i hate them all but then the human side kick in and i m lonely because everyone ha feeling i want to create my own reality to make it a fun one living but it s impossible to create my own reality when i have such logical thinking and have to face reality everyday it s so tough because i think a girlfriend would really help me finding meaning and feeling love but i ve never been outgoing in my life because i m just so sad about this reality i have ton of drive and motivation i just need help but can t get nothing because people tend to only help and treat you well when you re in a good spot in life but people who need just some little help don t get it because they appear to be sad and depressed like myself and people shy away from that no real people in this world to help me people find me scary cause i m and have the look of i hate life so no one want to come around me just me please all i need is to feel some fucking love that s it i never had a girlfriend in my life me rn though i m good looking tall and fit i think girl are scared because i see through all the bullshit they only come around when you re winning they never come around and take a chance on you to help create and build a winning man but instead girl wait at the finish line | 1 |
update click here to view version 0 of the list of most helpful comment and resource http www reddit com r anxiety comment t0 f o comment i pkm f utm source share amp utm medium web x amp context update please see the current stickied comment for more information it is ok to include a link that is causing you anxiety and asking people to help explain it better it is also ok to provide a news link alongside your own commentary about the article to help people understand what it is saying in a le anxious way we re specifically going to remove comment that have one or more news link without asking for help or providing original commentary about the article update 0 we have seen a large amount of post that are mainly about sharing discussing specific news article please remember to keep everything relevant to anxiety if a comment is just a news link then we have decided we will have to remove it to keep the thread on topic hi everyone it ha been requested that we create a megathread for all of the event that have been happening with regard to the conflict in ukraine we decided that this is a good idea since so many people have been experiencing extreme anxiety because of it we have opted to have this thread be sorted by best for the time being to read and respond to the latest comment you can manually change the sort to new the reason we re doing this is because we want the most helpful and most grounded comment to float to the top to help a many people a possible keep their anxiety under control during this difficult time for those who want to talk with other anxiety sufferer in more of a live format feel free to join our official discord server with this invite link http discord com invite 9sscse9 http discord com invite 9sscse9 we have added a special channel to it called ukrainediscussion so people can talk about what s happening and help each other a always please remember to be supportive and report any problematic comment so we can remove them a soon a possible thanks the r anxiety mod team | 1 |
congrats r anxiety we ve all made it to wednesday this is a weekly thread that serf a a place for u to shine some light on what is going well in our life it is easy for mental health subreddits to focus primarily on the negative after all we re not here because everything is going wonderfully but once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of place if you look at it right so whether you made it out of bed today spoke up in a meeting or class rode the bus or just stepped outside please share with u what went well for you in the past week any accomplishment victory positive thought or action no matter how big or small is welcome here | 1 |
seems like my anxiety this week ha been the worst it s been in a long time anyone else having a rough time | 1 |
i recently got a weighted blanket to see if it would help with anxiety and it doe but at the same time it make me feel really sad it feel like a giant hug and that reminds me of how lonely i am i rarely receive any sort of physical touch from people whether it be friend or family so whenever i put it on and it feel like i m being hugged i question why i never get hug from actual people and why i m so alone | 1 |
i know i can be intense to deal with when my anxiety kick in i don t know how to get out of the low just wanted to kill my self really | 1 |
i think this is mental breakdown but over the past few month thing have been slowly building up for me and i seem to have finally snapped last week my daily routine is basically wake up shit shower brush and sit on the pc until i go back to bed i eat whenever i feel like it i know it sound and it a shit schedule but it s like the only structure i have in my life a boring and shitty a it is it s always the one thing i can kinda find comfort and stability in anyways the final thing happened that made me snap last week i now wake up and just kinda sit in my bed for a while brush my teeth go walk outside for an hour and then drive around for a few hour then i come back shit shower and the only thing i have left is to sit on my pc but it is borderline painful to do that idk what it is but i just can t handle wasting my time on the pc anymore i ve more or le ditched my online friend and any game video song that i used to enjoy all day i want to be out of the house a much q possible and dread the place that i ve spent so much time in comfort i dread going back to my safe space and wan na avoid it for a long a possible | 1 |
i hate how i can t do anything but think about the phone call and then i feel like i don t have permission to relax until it s over anyone have advice for this | 1 |
no one will read this but there would be occasion i took benzodiazepine and alcohol together and had no memory for example mg ativan and a beer or beer and three ativan or beer and ativan i haven t done that in awhile issue is i am having extreme anxiety that i have ruined my brain chemical somehow like very bad and now i ve convinced myself i ve ruined my brain and i m going to be anxious forever | 1 |
how would you respond i said anxiety is not necessarily a physical ailment it s more internal and what s going on inside my head if you see me happy and cheerful it s because that s what i want you to see i try to hide my anxiety and act normal even though i m dying inside this conversation might seem easy to you but every word that is coming out of my mouth is causing me emotional pain while you will forget about this conversation in an hour or le i will think about it for the next year person shrugged and walked away | 1 |
she is such a narcissist and not a very loving person i m and she treat me like a child i ve grown up to be such an insecure perfectionist because of her she act like i can t do anything for myself i had a job interview for something that i really want and she tried coaching me on what to say and to memorize it so i nail the interview in the way she want me to if i get the job it ll be because of her and tell me all about how i should be grateful that she help me but if i don t get it it s because i didn t do what she told me to say and did what i wanted to do any time i have an achievement it can never be because i did something right it make me so anxious to think about her approval and her reaction because if i don t get this job i already know the lecture that s going to come with it | 1 |
i have been suffering for eight long month after a girl i thought would be interested in being my girlfriend ended thing and left me out to dry it wa a pretty short span of dating and hooking up we talked during the summer and only saw each other in person for a few week but the aftermath ha been the worst thing i ve ever gone through in my entire life i have alienated myself from her because i couldn t stop texting her and asking what i did wrong or saying thing i thought i did to make her not interested and expect her to confirm i am on a no contact basis with her now which is probably for the best because i don t think she even cared that much about me to begin with i can t handle the fluidity of dating how people can just leave something if it isn t working out for them for whatever reason and not know what that reason is i ve already come up with every possible situation or reason in my head that it didn t work out and it s honestly been driving me over the edge since last summer i can t take this anymore luckily it s never gotten so bad that i threatened her with suicide because i remember her saying she had an ex who did that to her and it sound like an awful thing to have done to you but that thought did cross my mind where i wanted to present that a an ultimatum to her if she couldn t just tell me what the exact reason or reason were she wanted to end it but i would never actually do that due to it being shitty to put another person through it s not enough for me to accept that we lived more than three hour from each other or she had a bad long term relationship end and wasn t trying to get into anything serious or she told me she wa feeling suffocated by me it s like the spongebob episode with patrick s secret box i just want so badly to hear what it might have been like she would tell her girl friend behind closed door no matter how bad it might sting or hurt but i know i ll never know precisely what she wa thinking it is so difficult to just move on or let it go like people always say for dating situation like this that to me just sound impossible i just hate dating i hate how some people have such ease jumping from date to date or going on multiple date with multiple people at once or talking to many people at one time it just make me feel so overwhelmed and upset that that seems to be the norm in society i can t take it it make me want to die just knowing that s what i m going to have to deal with if i want to have any hope of finding someone to be with let alone get over this last girl | 1 |
i m a 0 year old male lb lately i ve been having a dull ache that come and go in my chest the right and the left side but never at the same time aching pain in my arm especially around the wrist and knuckle that come and go almost always at night an occasional dropping feeling in my chest like my heart dropping and nerve tingle or zap kind of like an small electric shock at different spot all over my body sometimes it s my hand sometimes it s my neck or face the back of my head anywhere really it s almost always when i m trying to go to sleep at night i have an appointment with my primary care on april th and i m just trying to hold out until then went to the er a few week ago thinking i wa having a heart attack ekg came back normal and they diagnosed me with an anxiety attack and gave me hydroxyzine mg which helped at first but is now hit or miss and i m running out of it everyone at home including my dad who ha had many heart problem and know what it feel like say that it s just anxiety but i m honestly just so exhausted and on edge all the time even on the good day it s always there in the back of my mind that there s something wrong with me even though when i m at work listening to music singing basically exerting myself i don t feel these thing but when i lie down at night to go to sleep it s like everything just wake up and start fucking with me i dread going to bed every night ha anyone had any similar experience or symptom i just feel so alone in all this even though i know i can t be the only one thank you to anyone who actually read all this nonsense even though i don t know you i really appreciate it lt | 1 |
i m feeling every day more drained not only i have to deal with a job i hate but also my anxiety doesn t make it any better i dread going to work it s like all day i m imagining how tiring it s gon na be the day after it s a vicious cycle i can t seem to get out of what s more troubling it s that i ve never could do anything meaningful with my life to improve my situation i don t have any remarkable skill or something that can allow me to find a better job i feel such a loser don t know how much i m gon na be able to resist this these past two year since the pandemic started also made matter worse i m depressed almost all the time i don t feel like going out meeting with friend going to the movie nothing it s like everything it s piling up on me a few month ago i took the step of starting to follow some online course to gain skill that allow me to find a better job but it feel like i m never gon na make it i have negative thought constantly which lead me to believe i m gon na fail my anxiety also doesn t allow me to find a therapist i had a bad experience in the past that left me kinda scarred in this regard and now just finding professional help feel like a daunting task i m so lost what would you do thanks for reading | 1 |
i recently accepted a new position a an hris analyst which i ve wanted for a long time but one thing i feared about the job wa all the meeting we have to lead with cross functional team presentation that we have to make i came up with a good solution to a problem a few week ago and have been configuring everything in our hr system but my manager informed me that before i can move anything into our staff facing system i ll have to present my idea to a team of decision maker i am freaking out i have practiced what i m gon na say wrote down a script anticipated a many question they might ask a i could to make myself feel comfortable but i just know when it s my turn to present i m gon na be shaky nervous heart racing and uncomfortable and i am dreading it any advice on how to get over this this is going to be a part of my job going forward we have to do this for every big project or implementation and i don t know if i have the ability to handle it i didn t realize it wa going to involve this much face to face time with people i just wanted to do configuration i d love to hear some success story or any advice you may have for getting through thing like this i m hoping with time and experience this get easier but i am worried it won t tl dr i have severe public speaking edit anxiety and have to present something to a team of people at work i am terrified and am looking for some good insight into how i can ease my anxiety | 1 |
my anxiety ha been so bad recently and i m developing new fear and irrational thought i work in healthcare and have seen nasty thing like people aspirating choking on vomit and patient dead with throw up all over them i ate something off today and had to throw up i literally had to call my boyfriend i live alone and had the irrational fear i wa going to choke on my vomit or pas out later and nobody would find me until he came to see me this weekend i am honestly really embarrassed he saw me like that doe anyone else get health anxiety | 1 |
hi something weird happened to me yesterday at noon i m tryna understand what it wa exactly i went to some very nice restaurent with my fwb that i ve known for month so we have a trustful relationship at the end of the meal i wanted to go to the toilet in the third room of the restaurent i wa feeling calm and not anxious at all in this moment i didn t know the exact place where the bathroom wa located but when i got to the third room i felt really overwhelmed like i never did before even on acid there were a lot of plate on the wall not that much people but i felt like i understood nothing anymore really had a panic feeling everything looked weird like a dream i felt very oppressed in my body a strange weight i never felt before it wa nothing like regular anxiety it had no reason to be and it happened very fast i wa standing alone in this room i don t even know if people were looking at me i could barely understand where people were or what they were doing i had a strange feeling that i wa really going to lose control of my mind if i stayed here like somebody wa mixing my brain and my perception didn t go to the bathroom get back to my friend he looked at me like this explained the shit to him he wa like i don t think it wa an acid flashback it may have happened to me some month ago and it wa pretty different perspective distortion color changing hallucination did you experienced something like this | 1 |
doe anyone el anxiety cause extreme paranoia for context there will be situation to in which i think a situation is true when it not because of this family amp friend have to constantly reassure me it not wa wondering if anyone dealt with the same thing and if so what did you do to fix it | 1 |
please give me your grounding exercise to keep me busy a i make a long distance move happy thought appreciated | 1 |
so i haven t had a job in a year and today i finally had a phone interview for a work at home position that involved customer service since i have over five year of experience in that realm i thought i wa going to do well like i wa feeling really confident and thought i wa going to slam dunk the interview i watched so many interview video article wrote down interview question and my answer and practiced multiple time in the mirror and recorded myself over and over again i felt so good about myself but when the interview started and he started to ask me question i panicked because they were nothing like the one i thought they would be for the position i could barely get my thought together and form sentence i hung up and he called back and i lied and said the call dropped and then he went onto the next and i just couldn t do it i hung up again and broke down into tear and started to shake lmao at this point i feel like i m stuck in a vicious cycle of anxiety i want to get a job again i want to get back into school but this anxiety shit ha me in a chokehold and it s making so sad idk what to do | 1 |
can i talk to someone please | 1 |
i wanted to share some of what i ve written because i find that writing is an outlet that help me to calm down sometimes i sit in a room full of people and stay quiet the loud chatter and the chaos of laughter will fill the room fill my head yet i keep my opinion and question to myself i keep my thought contained in my mind i watch a the girl who betrayed me smile and continues to talk i watch a my friend all happily converse with one another i watch a the boy throw their head back unable to control their laughter they ask if i am okay more quiet than usual and all i can say is that i am tired what they do not know is that i am not physically tired but mentally exhausted my mind is constantly racing overthinking every word that leaf my tongue every move i make and every awkward gesture that display itself during conversation with people i need a rest | 1 |
i am having a hard time nailing down whether i am truly experiencing ocd or anxiety or both amp x 00b doe anyone have any experience with one or both that can chime in | 1 |
i have achieved a good outcome a a manager gave me good comment and feedback however there s this thought in my head that s saying he ll rethink his decision and realise that the praise given wasn t warranted i feel like this worry is uncalled for but it s causing me distress doe anyone know how to deal with this type of thought | 1 |
haven t had one in awhile took med still nothing helped | 1 |
so i have a mild stutter and i just had an epiphany i ve been letting my stutter control me but i found something amazing out i let my stutter define who i wa a a person instead of an aspect of myself it s so bad that when my parent talk to me like a normal person i d think to myself wow they act like i m normal despite my stutter they see past that and when i would work people would see my name tag and say oh i have a son named my name and i would think he probably doesn t stutter tho i let this define who i wa a a person and i let it really get to me i wa looking at old reddit post from other people asking how people view stutter and most people said they didn t care at all and even found it interesting some even said it wa hot cute made joke sound more natural and a a result more funny not like they found the stutter funny tho and one even said they were turned on by it and someone said something that stuck out to me they pretty much said how you perceive yourself is how others will so if i see myself a weird and anxious i will act that way and be perceived in that way but if i see myself a confident and charismatic and just act like my stutter doesn t bother me and even joke about it then others will perceive me a such this blew my mind a i thought everyone didn t pick up on my stutter at first and just thought i wa super weird but it s just me convincing myself of that so even tho this clicked i still can t just flick the switch off so how do i actually become confident with my stutter it s very mild and is fueled by anxiety so if i can get rid of my anxiety it ll in my opinion make me sound more charismatic and confident so i really wan na figure out how to just own it how do i do this | 1 |
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