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usually , he would be tearing around the living room , playing with his toys . but just one look at a minion sent him practically catatonic . that had been megan 's plan when she got him dressed earlier . he 'd seen the movie almost by mistake , considering he was a little young for the pg cartoon , but with older cousins , along with her brothers , mason was often exposed to things that were older . she liked to think being surrounded by adults and older kids was one reason why he was a such a good talker for his age . `` are n't you being a good boy ? '' she said . mason barely acknowledged her . instead , his baby blues remained focused on the television . since the movie was almost over , megan knew she better slip into the bedroom and finish getting ready . each time she looked into mason 's face , she was grateful that he looked nothing like his father . his platinum blond hair and blue eyes were completely hers . it was only his build that he was taking after his father . where megan was a diminutive 5'3 '' , davis was 6'1 '' and two hundred pounds . mason was already registering off the charts in height and weight according to his pediatrician . davis had seen mason only twice in his lifetime-the day he had been born and the day he came home from the hospital . after that , he had n't been interested in any of the pictures and emails megan sent . with his professional football career on the rise , davis had n't wanted to be shackled with the responsibilities of a baby . instead , he wanted to spend his time off the field partying until all hours of the night . he only paid child support when megan threatened to have his wages garnished . she dreaded the day when mason was old enough to ask about his father . she never wanted anything in the world to hurt him , and she knew that being rejected by his father would . with a sigh , she stepped into the dress and slid it over her hips . wrestling around to get the zipper all the way up caused her to huff and puff . standing back from the mirror , she turned to and fro to take in her appearance . she 'd always loved how the dress made her feel sexy , but at the same time was very respectable . while it boasted a sweetheart neckline , the hemline fell just below her knees .

she put on her pearls-a high school graduation gift from her uncle aidan , or `` ankle '' , as she often called him . aidan was her mother 's baby brother and only son of the family . when she was born , he was only eight and a half . as the first grandchild , megan spent a lot of time with her grandparents , and that in turn , meant she spent a lot of time with aidan . he had devoted hours to holding her and spoiling her rotten . when it came time for her to talk , she just could n't seem to get `` uncle aidan '' out . instead , she called him `` ankle . '' it was a nickname that had stuck with him even now that he was thirty-four and married . while it had been no question that she wanted him as godfather for mason , she had been extremely honored when he and his wife , emma , had asked her to be their son , noah 's , godmother . she loved her newest cousin very much and planned to be the best godmother she could for him . as she stepped out of the bedroom , she found that mason had yet to move . `` okay buddy , time to go . '' when he started to whine , she shook her head . `` we have such a fun day ahead of us . it 's noah 's baptism , and then there 's a party at uncle aidan and aunt emma 's house . '' `` beau ? '' he asked . she laughed . `` yes , you 'll get to see and play with beau , too . '' as she went to the couch and picked him up , she could n't help finding it amusing that out of everyone he was going to see today , he was most excited about being with aidan and emma 's black lab , beau . one day when they had their own place again , she would get him a dog . he loved them too much to be denied . `` oomph , '' she muttered , as they started up the basement stairs . `` heawy ? '' `` yes , you 're getting to be such a big , heavy boy . '' when they made it to the kitchen , megan paused to catch her breath . she only had a second before her mother breezed in with sean , and her youngest brother , gavin . `` ready ? '' she asked . megan nodded . feeling like she was once again a teenager , she filed behind her parents as they headed into the garage . `` i want to drive , '' gavin said .

with a smirk , sean replied , `` like i 'm gon na let you drive my car . '' he then slid into the driver 's seat as gavin reluctantly walked around to the passenger 's side . `` we 'll see you there in just a few , '' her mother called . sean acknowledged her with a two finger salute before cranking up and pulling down the driveway . megan worked to get mason into the car seat in her parents ' land rover . once he was safely strapped and buckled in , she hopped in beside him . her parents rattled along to each other as they made their way through the tree-lined suburbs where megan had grown up . while some might look on her as having a mark against her character being an unwed mother , she had lived a relatively non-rebellious life . even though she 'd been a cheerleader and ran with the popular crowd in school , she rarely partied to excess . instead , she had focused on getting good grades . at that time , she had her heart set on going to medical school and becoming a doctor . from the time she was a little girl , she had wanted nothing more than to help people . she was always mending birds with broken wings or trying to resuscitate squirrels who had been hit by cars . she ditched playing princess for playing `` hospital . '' her desire to become a doctor was why she needed the best scores and best activities and why she generally shunned any temptations to lead her off the right path . she had even managed to bypass the usual freshman craziness when she went off to the university of georgia . it was n't until she fell in love for the first time in her life that she threw everything away . sadly , she could n't say that her first love was davis , mason 's father . instead , it was another football player , this time a running back at uga , who captured and later broke her heart a year later . carsyn ran with the fast crowd , and when she was with him , she partied and drank too much . he was controlling and possessive , and he wanted all of her time . when she was with him , she had little time for studying . with her grades already in the toilet , she was unprepared for the emotional breakdown she experienced when carsyn broke up with her . devastated , she stopped going to class and ended up flunking the semester . by the time she got back on track with her grades , she had abandoned any hope of medical school .

instead , she decided that she would become a nurse , which would fulfill her need to care for sick people . of course , her relationship with davis ended up derailing shortly before graduation when she got pregnant unexpectedly . she had to take several semesters off after mason was born . she was a few years off from when she had originally planned on graduating , but she was excited after everything had that had happened , she was finally finishing . her mother 's voice brought megan out of her thoughts . `` here we are , '' she said pleasantly . leaning forward in her seat , megan eyed the clock on the dashboard . she was n't surprised to see they had arrived half an hour before the baptism started . one thing her mother prided herself on was being on time and lending a hand . as they started into the church , her mother reached for mason . `` we 'll take him so you can go see if emma needs any help . '' megan bent over to kiss mason 's cheek . `` see you in a little while , sweetie . '' he grinned and then happily dodged her mother 's arms for her father 's instead , which made megan smile . he was such a man 's man already . he loved sitting between her brothers on the couch and watching tv . while it was good that he had so many male role models , she only hoped he had n't inherited too much of his father 's personality . after megan watched them disappear in the crowd of family and friends waiting in the church alcove , she bypassed everyone by turning right and heading down the hallway . at the last door on the right , she knocked . `` it 's me , megan . '' emma 's best friend , casey , answered the door . `` well , if it is n't the fairy godmother , '' she mused with a grin . after megan stepped inside , casey threw her arms around her . megan had only met her a few times , but it was hard not liking emma 's vivacious and outgoing friend . casey 's long brown hair was pulled back in a lose knot , and she wore a demure black slip dress and heels . `` so how 's it going ? '' megan asked , gazing from noah 's diapered but na**d form to emma . she was feeding him a bottle while her upper body was draped in a towel . peeking out from the covering , she saw emma was wearing her signature color , green .

as noah sucked on his bottle , he twirled a strand of emma 's auburn hair between his fingers . both father and son were fans of emma wearing her hair down . emma grinned . `` good , i guess . i mean , i do n't have a lot of experience with baptisms . '' megan laughed and motioned to the towel and noah . `` it looks like you 're taking all the proper precautions-nothing like spit-up on your dress or his . '' with a nod , emma replied , `` tell me about it . especially since his gown is so old . '' megan eyed the lacy baptismal gown hanging on the closet door . she recognized it from pictures of ankle 's baptism . he had worn it , and now it was being passed down to his son . casey snorted . `` i 'm sure aidan would n't appreciate you alluding to the fact his gown is an antique , thus in turn saying he 's old . '' emma laughed . `` no , i 'm sure he would n't . of course , he 'd probably argue that while the gown might not have held up , he still looks fabulous and much younger than his age . '' megan smiled . `` that sounds just like him . '' she bent over emma to rub one of noah 's hands . he grabbed her thumb in his fist and held on for dear life . `` aw , you love your godmother , do n't you noah ? '' emma asked . noah momentarily stopped sucking on the bottle to flash a quick smile , which warmed megan 's heart . `` he 's such a sweet boy , '' she mused . `` and a charmer , just like his old man , '' casey mused . `` that too , '' megan agreed . thinking about her position , she cocked her head at casey . `` are you sure you 're fine with me being the godmother ? '' casey waved her hand dismissively . `` honey , the last thing i need is the responsibility . i plan on spoiling noah rotten and corrupting him as only a good auntie can do ! '' emma rolled her eyes . `` i 'm very satisfied with both my choices , megan . you do n't have to worry . '' `` so who is the godfather again ? i know he 's not part of the family . '' casey gasped as her hand flew to her chest dramatically . `` you mean , you 've never met dr. mcdreamy bollywood ? '' megan shrugged .

`` no , i have n't . i mean , i 've heard about him and how he flew aidan home in time for noah 's birth . '' she noticed the pleading look that emma exchanged with casey . `` why ? what should i know about him ? '' casey tapped her chin with her index finger . `` hmm , what should you know about the good godfather ? '' she winked at megan . `` first off , he is seriously delectable . i mean , the man is like sex on a stick . tall , jet-black hair , dark eyes , and he 's built like a brick shithouse . '' megan suddenly felt her interest piquing . she had n't imagined that the godfather would be good-looking . it had been such a long time since she had dated anyone . scratch that-it had been a long time since she 'd had sex with anyone . she 'd spent the last two years completely dateless since she and davis broke up . she could practically join one of the local parishes as a nun with how long she had abstained . `` really ? '' `` mmm , hmm . he reminds me of that bollywood actor john abraham , '' casey said . emma snorted . `` since when do you watch bollywood movies ? '' `` since one of nate 's friends asked us to an indian film festival . '' casey grinned at megan . `` besides the fact that he 's a serious looker , he 's also kind , compassionate , and caring-an overall wonderful man . '' `` really now ? '' megan questioned . `` and he 's loaded because he 's a doctor . '' this man was sounding better and better by the minute . `` is he single ? '' emma made a strangled noise before casey replied , `` oh , yeah , he 's single . he 's a widower actually . '' megan pursed her lips at the prospect . widowers usually fell into two categories-those who were still devastated by their wives ' deaths or those who were ready to have fun and live a little . she certainly hoped this pesh guy fell into the second category . more than anything , she wanted to have a little fun herself . `` do you really think you might be interested in dating pesh ? '' emma asked , as she moved noah to her shoulder to burp him .

with a shrug , megan replied , `` dating him or just having some fun with him . sounds like he could use some . '' emma grimaced as she wiped noah 's face off . `` this is exactly why i told aidan not to try and fix you two up . '' `` what do you mean ? '' `` pesh needs a relationship , not a hook-up after all he 's been through . besides his wife 's death , he has n't had it easy on the dating front . '' `` what happened ? '' when casey snorted , emma shot her a death glare . `` nothing . it 's just he does n't need to get involved with someone who is n't interested in a long-term relationship . '' `` em , you might as well tell her , '' casey urged . megan glanced between the two of them . `` tell me what ? '' `` fine , '' emma huffed resignedly . she handed noah to casey . `` make yourself useful by changing his diaper . '' as casey got busy cleaning up noah , emma turned to megan . `` when aidan and i broke up- '' `` what you meant to say is , after you left aidan when he did n't show up for noah 's gender ultrasound because he was cheating on you ? '' casey interrupted , waving around the wet wipe in her hand . emma closed her eyes for a moment before shaking her head . `` yes , that 's right . thank you so very much for bringing up that aspect of our break-up on today of all days . '' casey gripped noah 's ankles and hoisted up his little butt to slide on the new diaper . `` you 're welcome . '' `` anyway , as you were saying , '' megan pressed . `` right . so it was when aidan and i were broken up that i met pesh . i was with your papa fitzgerald the day of his heart attack at the vfw , and pesh was the doctor who treated him . '' `` so ... you both struck up a friendship then ? '' megan asked . emma grimaced . `` not exactly . you see , patrick wanted to force aidan to really fight for me , and he felt the best way to do it would be for him to have some competition . '' megan felt her eyes widening in surprise . `` papa wanted pesh to date you ? '' `` yeah . '' `` did you ? ''

emma was momentarily distracted by casey blowing raspberries on noah 's stomach . a smile spread across her face as noah kicked his legs and giggled at casey . `` want me to get him in his dress ? '' casey asked , as she glanced up . `` if you do n't mind . '' bringing her hand to her hip , megan huffed out an exasperated breath . `` um , could you please focus for just a minute considering the bomb you just dropped on me ? '' `` i 'm sorry . i did n't want to tell you at all . i mean , whatever was between us is all in the past . neither one of us really cared for each other like we thought we did . '' `` did you ... '' megan said . at emma 's confused expression , she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively . emma 's face flushed . `` no , of course not ! '' casey eyed emma as she took the baptism gown off the hanger . `` you did make out with him though . '' `` one time . and he certainly did n't get to second base , '' emma argued . with a wicked grin , casey added , `` pity . wish you could inform us on what he has going on below the waist . '' `` you 're impossible . '' she snatched the gown away from casey and then started wrestling noah into the yards of fabric . `` it was n't like we were in a relationship . we did n't really even go out together . he came to the house once to bring me dinner and check on me when i was on bed rest , and then he took me to the opera . that was it . '' `` was there no chemistry between you two ? '' without responding , emma pulled noah up into a sitting position and started fastening the row of buttons down the back of the gown . `` em ? '' megan pressed . she gave a heavy sigh before picking noah up . she stared into his face before she responded . `` we had great chemistry together . he was an amazing kisser who got all my senses up and running in all the right ways . besides the physical part , he is smart , kind , and intelligent-any woman 's dream . '' she shook her head . `` but it did n't matter because he was n't aidan . i could never , ever love another man like i do him . ''

giving noah a kiss on the cheek , she added , `` neither one of us were really in a good place-i was trying to make sure that aidan really was the one , and after being pressured by family and friends , he was trying to date for the first time after his wife 's death . '' megan crossed her arms over her chest . `` i get that he does n't need to be hurt , but who is to say that having a fling is going to hurt him ? maybe it could give him the confidence he needs to go out and find the real woman of his dreams ? '' `` how could a man that looks like that have any self-confidence issues ? '' `` you never know . if he was married a long time before his wife died , he might find it hard to get back into the dating world . especially if the last woman he cared about loved someone else . '' emma shook her head . `` trust me , he is n't the fling kind of guy . he wants a wife and children . '' although megan had a son , she was n't quite ready for marriage . maybe in a few years but right now she just wanted to date and have fun . she 'd willingly sacrificed so much to ensure that mason could have all of her attention since he was short a father . after all , he was the greatest hurdle in her having a committed relationship . she did n't want to open her son up to any hurt that might come from him getting attached to a man she dated only to have them disappear when they broke up . `` ankle really wants to fix us up ? '' emma nodded . `` regardless of what happened with pesh when we were broken up , aidan does respect and admire him . he wants pesh to be happy . '' she gave megan a pointed look . `` most of all , he wants that for you , too . '' megan wrinkled her nose . `` but i 'm really not ready for all of that yet . '' `` then think long and hard before you agree to do anything about pesh . he is unknowingly very persuasive , and in the moment , you might forget your resolve only to have it come back later to hurt you ... or him . '' megan held up her hands in defeat . `` okay , okay , i promise . '' emma smiled . `` nothing would make me happier than if you were to fall in love with pesh . '' with a laugh , megan said , `` did you just hear anything that i said ? i 'm anti-love . '' `` so was aidan . '' just as megan opened her mouth to protest , aidan waltzed into the room . `` everything okay ? '' `` fine . just finished feeding and dressing him , '' emma replied `` good .

the natives are getting restless to see the little man of the hour before the baptism . '' he strode over to them and took his son into his arms . `` you ready to go work the crowd , noah ? '' noah 's response was to grunt and reach for aidan 's tie . with a laugh , aidan announced , `` i 'll take that as a yes . '' he then leaned in to kiss emma 's cheek . `` ready mrs . fitzgerald ? '' she smiled before linking her arm through his . `` yes , mr. fitzgerald , i am . '' megan and casey followed them out the door and down the hallway . they entered a noisy room crammed with family and friends . she left aidan and emma 's side to seek out her parents to check on mason . she found her parents , but their arms were empty . in a panic , she demanded , `` where 's mason ? '' her father smiled and pointed over to where a pile of her younger cousins were . mason was on the lap of her aunt becky 's oldest son , john . mason was mesmerized with what whatever john was doing on his phone . megan smiled as she walked up to them . without taking his eyes off the screen , john replied , `` we 're fine . '' `` are you sure he 's not bothering you ? '' what she was n't asking was if john was actually keeping an eye on mason between playing on his phone . john glanced up . `` considering i have two younger brothers , i think i can handle him . besides , he 's really into this game . '' `` okay then , '' megan replied . she spoke to john 's brothers , percy and georgie , before making her way around the room . all her relatives were interested to hear how her schooling was going and how mason was . she had just turned away from talking to her great aunt and uncle when someone pressed up against her back . `` do n't look now , but there 's dr. mcdreamy bollywood now , '' casey whispered into her ear . without hesitation , her eyes scanned the crowd . and then she saw him . ankle was taking him around and making introductions . pesh was impossibly tall and wearing a tailor-made black suit . even beneath the lines of the clothing , she could make out his large biceps and thick thighs . he obviously spent his downtime between hospital shifts working out .

his wavy , jet-black hair was cut short , and his dark eyes took in all that ankle was saying . and while she may have been in a church about to stand up as a godmother , she could n't help the ni**les tightening and panties moistening reaction of seeing him . he was all the way across the room , but he had the same effect as if he were standing by her side , rubbing against her . `` see what i mean ? '' casey questioned . megan licked her lips . `` oh my , '' she finally managed . `` sure you do n't want to give him a chance ? '' fighting the urge to fan herself , megan quickly replied , `` i 'd like to give him many , many chances . '' chances at ripping off my clothes , chances at kissing and licking me all over my body , chances at allowing his hands , fingers , and the promising bulge in his pants to stroke me until i orgasm ... yep , many , many chances . as if she could read megan 's mind , casey laughed . `` oh girl , this has trouble written all over it . '' chapter three pesh paced nervously around the back of the cathedral . the fact he was in a catholic church was n't the only reason he felt out of his element . as he eyed the massive statue of jesus , he fidgeted absently with his tie . although emma had sworn aidan was fine with the idea of him as godfather , he was still a little apprehensive about seeing aidan again . the last time they 'd been together , pesh was the hero flying aidan from north carolina to atlanta just in time for noah 's unexpected birth . but that was six months ago . the euphoria of the moment now had time to fade , and to aidan , pesh could still be the man who almost stole emma away . a side door opened , and aidan stepped out . he immediately met pesh 's anxious gaze . when his lips curved into a wide smile , pesh exhaled the nervous breath he 'd been holding . `` well , there you are , '' aidan said , as he strode up . he bypassed throwing out his hand , and instead , he pulled pesh to him for a bear hug . `` emma was worried about you . '' `` she was ? '' `` yeah , she asked me to come out and see if i could find you . '' i was n't sure where to go , and no one was out here . ''

`` do n't worry about it . '' aidan pulled away . `` so how the hell are you ? '' pesh could n't help laughing at aidan 's choice of words , especially in a church . `` i 'm good , thank you . '' he cocked his head at aidan . `` and what about you ? is fatherhood agreeing with you ? '' a beaming smile lit aidan 's face . `` i 'm absolutely fantastic . i never could have imagined that being a father would be this ... amazing . '' pesh nodded . `` i want you to know what an honor it is for me to be noah 's godfather . '' `` we 're glad to have you . '' aidan patted pesh 's back . `` and i do mean that . '' `` i hope you do . i have had my concerns ... '' aidan shook his head . `` well , do n't . i 'll admit i was n't too thrilled with the prospect at first , but em was able to make me see the light . you were there for us when we really needed you . i mean , besides my wedding day , i would 've missed the most important days of my life-my son 's birth . i can never thank you enough . so when it comes down to it , i do n't think i could ask for a better godfather for my son . '' aidan 's words touched pesh . `` thank you . that means a lot . you have my word that i will always do what is right by noah . '' after giving him a hearty thump on the shoulder , aidan said , `` come on back with me . i want to introduce you to everyone . '' `` do they ... '' pesh was n't sure how to ask if aidan 's family knew the story of how he and emma truly knew each other . aidan chuckled . `` let 's just say that pop 's the only one who knows the truth . the others just think you met us when pop had his heart attack . '' pesh could n't help the relieved breath that whooshed out of him . it would have been a nightmare to have most of aidan 's family hating him for trying to steal emma away . `` i see . '' he followed aidan back into a large room filled with chattering people . as he craned his neck , he saw emma in the corner with noah in her arms .

she looked radiant as ever in an emerald suit . noah , however , did n't seem too thrilled to be outfitted in the lacy gown that flowed over emma 's arms and stopped mid-thigh . his tiny brows wrinkled as he waved his fists back and forth as if any moment he might let loose with a scream . taking him by the elbow , aidan guided him over to a group of men and women . aidan introduced him to his four sisters and their husbands . pesh smiled , nodded , and shook their hands before being bombarded by a hoard of aidan 's nieces and nephews . `` now i want you to meet my niece , megan . she 's the godmother . '' `` it would be my pleasure . '' aidan surprised pesh by leaning in and whispering in his ear . `` i 'm pretty sure over half of the people here are gunning for you two to get together . you know , a real romantic story to tell future kids about how you two met being the godmother and godfather of this sweet and adorable kid . '' pesh gulped . why was everyone he knew hell-bent on setting him up ? had emma harbored some secret , ulterior motive in asking him to be noah 's godfather ? `` i 'm flattered , but i do n't know if that 's such a good idea . '' pulling back , aidan surmised him before winking . `` normally i would agree because she is , after all , my niece-my favorite one if i 'm being honest . but as much as it pisses me off to admit it , you two would make a great couple . '' `` we would ? '' `` hell yeah . '' aidan swept his hand over his chin . `` megan needs someone strong and stable like you are , and then you need someone who is so full of life like she is . i can guaran-damn-tee you that you 've never been out with a woman like her before . emma is like , one tenths the sassiness that megan is . '' pesh could n't help giving aidan a skeptical look . `` just keep an open mind , okay ? '' with a reluctant nod , pesh replied , `` i will . '' `` megan , '' aidan called . when the tiny blonde turned around , pesh fought to catch his breath .

everything about her from her sparkling blue eyes to her long blonde hair was just like jade 's . how was it possible for someone to remind him so much of what he had lost ? aidan grinned as he glanced between the two of them . `` i wanted to introduce you to pesh nadeen , the godfather . '' thrusting out her hand , megan smiled warmly at him . `` it 's very nice to finally meet you . '' he stared at it a moment before his good manners overrode his shock . he took her hand in his and shook it . `` it 's very nice meeting you , too . '' `` i 'll leave you two to get to know each other , '' aidan said . before pesh could protest , aidan turned and disappeared into the crowd . he turned to megan and tried clearing his throat of what felt like a wad of sawdust . he knew he should try to make polite conversation , but he was still so shell-shocked by the way megan looked . finally , she took pity on him . `` so , emma tells me you 're a doctor . '' pesh smiled politely . `` yes , i am . '' `` what type of medicine ? '' `` emergency services . '' megan 's face lit up . `` oh , how interesting . i 'm about to finish nursing school , and i 've asked for clinical placement in the er . '' pesh widened his eyes in surprise . aidan had failed to mention that they had the medical profession in common . `` i 'm hoping to get placed at grady , even though my parents would die a thousand deaths . '' he cocked his brows at her . `` i assume they 're afraid for your safety ? '' `` yes . they ca n't help worrying about the neighborhood . they sometimes forget i 'm an adult , rather than a child . '' `` what is it about grady that attracts you ? '' `` besides the fact that it 's nationally recognized for its er ? '' he smiled . `` yes , besides the accolades . '' megan tilted her head in thought . `` i guess it 's the fact i really want to feel like i 'm making a difference and saving lives . i feel like at grady i would be seeing some of the worst cases imaginable , and in turn some people who really do n't have a lot of hope . '' he was taken aback by her words and the passion with which she delivered them .

while she possessed a beautiful exterior , she certainly seemed to have a greater depth of character than he had originally expected . he did n't often meet someone like her . most of the women at the hospital who threw themselves at him possessed only surface beauty . he did n't have to be with them very long to perceive their true shallowness and self-centeredness . to them , he was a prize to be won . he could n't ever imagine megan feeling that way . she was n't the type of woman to care about a trophy man on her arm-she wanted to make her own way in the world . `` it is so good to hear someone speak with such passion about nursing . '' he nodded . `` we desperately need more people like you . i know i would love to work alongside someone who had your passion . '' she smiled at his compliments . he could n't help noticing what a nice smile she had . the way it framed her heart shaped face made her appear much less like jade than he had originally thought . maybe we 'll end up together . '' she licked her lips before adding , `` you know , at the same hospital . '' `` i would like that . but i 'm afraid that wellstar pales in comparison to grady . '' `` surely the suburbs offer some interesting cases ? '' `` they do . i 've been there since my residency , so i ca n't imagine working anywhere else . after all , i would n't be standing here today with you if it were n't for wellstar and your grandfather . '' `` that 's true . '' tilting her head , she gave him a very alluring smile . `` and what a pity that would be if our paths had n't crossed . '' he sucked in a breath at the directness of her statement . could she really be interested in him ? sure , it was common knowledge that aidan and others wanted them to get together , but he had imagined that she had not known their intentions . and while originally he had been turned off by aidan 's suggestion of fixing them up , he could n't help but be intrigued now . there was something so refreshingly different about megan , despite her physical similarities to jade . `` mommy ! '' a small voice cried . pesh glanced over megan 's shoulder where a fair-haired toddler came bounding over . he wrapped his arms around megan 's thigh . she gave him an apologetic look before bending over . `` what 's the matter , sweetie ? '' he grinned up at her . `` miss you . ''

with a smile , she bent over and picked him up . when he sat on her hip , she turned her attention back to pesh . `` this is my son , mason . '' pesh could n't help noticing how megan searched his face to see if there was any judgment or even disgust at her having a son . he felt neither of those emotions . he had to admit he was a little surprised . aidan had failed to mention that fact as well . not to mention , she seemed young to be a mother , considering she was just finishing her clinicals . `` it 's nice to meet you , mason . '' `` can you tell pesh hi ? '' megan urged . `` hi , esh , '' mason said , with a grin . pesh could n't help laughing , and he was thankful that megan giggled as well . `` how old are you ? '' mason held up two fingers to which megan shook her head . `` he 's seventeen months . '' pesh smiled . `` you must be very proud of him . '' `` i am . '' she snuggled mason against her chest . `` he 's the sweetest and best boy i could ever hope for . '' `` you 're very blessed . '' `` thank you . '' they were interrupted by aidan 's sister , angie , who pesh had met earlier . `` looks like it 's time to start . come on mason . mommy has to go be noah 's godmother now . '' mason reluctantly went to his grandmother . `` be good for grammy , '' megan instructed . after angie walked off with mason , the other family members began filing out of the room . pesh turned to megan and gave her a sheepish smile . `` i must admit that even though i attended a class with emma , i 'm a little unsure of what i 'm supposed to do . '' `` it 's okay . just follow my lead , and you 'll be fine . '' once it was only the two of them and aidan and emma in the room , aidan motioned for them . a priest in decorated golden robes appeared at the door with a gleaming crucifix in his hands . pesh tried not to feel intimidated as the odd man out in the situation . music struck up on the organ , and the priest motioned for them to follow . before they went out the door , emma glanced down at noah .

`` please , please , do not scream in there and act like a demon baby . be the angel i know you can be . '' he acknowledged her request by sticking his tongue out and flailing his fists . aidan chuckled at emma 's plea . `` relax , babe . if he feels you getting all tense , he 's going to get fussy . '' emma sighed . `` he 's already fussy . he was fine until i put him in the gown . '' `` i guess he feels that wearing a dress is insulting to his manhood , '' aidan reasoned with a smile . when emma shot aidan a death glare , megan and pesh could n't help laughing at the two of them . aidan winked at emma before starting out the door . at megan 's side , pesh walked up the aisle . when they reached the baptismal font , the music ended , and the priest began speaking . he informed the crowd of what was about to take place and the significance of all the religious rites noah was about to receive . aidan and emma made the sign of the cross on noah 's forehead before megan leaned in to do the same . when megan elbowed him , pesh reached over to clumsily follow their lead . after he finished , he glanced at megan . she smiled and mouthed , `` good job . '' he returned her smile . he followed through the rest of the proceedings as aidan and emma pledged to raise noah in the faith . then it came time for him and megan to agree to stand by noah as godparents . the priest took a fussing noah from emma 's arms . when the first trickles of water hit the base of noah 's head , he cooed and kicked his arms and legs . emma appeared relieved at how noah was n't behaving like a possessed baby as she had feared . `` thank god he loves his baths , '' aidan muttered beside pesh . once the baptism part was finished , the priest made a final talk , and then it was over . just as pesh sighed with relief and was looking forward to making a quick exit , aidan grabbed his arm . `` do n't go anywhere . we have to do pictures . '' inwardly , he groaned . he wanted , no he needed , a moment alone to process his thoughts .

everything had been so overwhelming-being outside his usual world , meeting all of aidan 's family , and then having the prospect of megan thrown in as well . awkwardly , he stood around as a photographer came forward and proceeded to take several pictures of aidan , emma , and noah . then it was just aidan and noah or emma and noah . `` okay , i need the godparents now . '' pesh smoothed down his tie and allowed the photographer to pose him in the group shot . after they finished with the four of them , noah was handed to megan for pictures with just the godparents . as the photographer pushed megan closer against pesh 's chest , he glanced down at her . her reassuring smile caused his heartbeat to accelerate . for the first time , he noticed the sweet aroma of her hair as the long , blonde strands brushed against him . he could also make out the alluring scent of her perfume . he liked the feel of her against him a little too much . it made him want to draw her into his embrace ... maybe do other things that he should n't be thinking when he was in a church . glancing over her shoulder at him , she joked , `` jeez , you 're like a giant standing next to me . '' `` am i ? '' he had n't noticed the differences in their heights-he 'd been focusing on her too much . `` just a little bit . of course , it does n't take much for someone to make me look short . '' `` you look perfect to me , '' he said sincerely . craning her neck back to look at him , she gave him a teasing grin . `` do i ? are you flirting with me , dr . nadeen ? '' he stared down at his feet , trying to avoid the heat of her stare . he tried to hide the red flush he felt entering his cheeks . `` okay , now just with the godmother , '' the photographer ordered . reluctantly , pesh stepped away from megan . as the flashes went off , snapping hers and noah 's picture , he kept his gaze on her . as she focused on the camera , megan 's blue eyes sparkled as she stretched her face into a wide grin . noah 's tiny fingers wrapped around some of the strands of her hair , causing megan to yelp in pain . `` easy now . i got ta keep that , '' she said to noah . `` okay , that should get it , '' the photographer said .

`` here godfather , it 's your turn , '' megan said , as she handed noah to him . by now , noah was tired of being held and tired of being ensconced in yards of lace . he peered up at pesh before howling . `` i 'm sorry , little guy , '' he cooed , trying to bounce noah in his arms . as noah continued to cry , pesh looked apologetically at the photographer . just before he was ready to give up , megan came up and started clapping her hands and making noises at noah . the baby instantly stopped crying . `` that 's right , noah . give me a smile , '' megan urged , as she backed up to stand by the photographer . she continued making the noises , and she even resorted to flashing one of the strands of her hair at him . finally , noah 's quivering lips broke into a grin . `` there we go , '' the photographer said . pesh quickly plastered a smile on his face . after several flashes went off , the photographer put down his camera . `` got it . '' both noah and pesh sighed in relief . gazing down at him , pesh asked , `` bet you 're ready to get home and get out of that dress , huh ? '' `` it 's a gown , not a dress , '' megan countered with a smile . he laughed . `` regardless of what it 's called , i do n't think he likes it very much . '' megan brought some of the lace between her fingers . `` probably a little itchy for him . '' `` did your son wear this gown ? '' `` no , this is aidan 's gown . mason wore my mother 's , which my brothers and i also wore . '' `` in your culture do they do anything special like this for a baby ? '' `` we have the namakaran , or naming ceremony . it 's sometimes held in a temple . and like this , it 's all about offering blessings to the child-family and friends coming together in support of the new baby . '' `` i like it . '' they were momentarily interrupted by aidan and emma walking up . noah immediately reached out for emma . `` such a mama 's boy , '' aidan muttered , which earned him a glare from emma . he merely winked at her in response before starting down the aisle . pesh saw megan 's mother beckoning her with a wave . `` guess you need to go , '' he said .

`` but i 'll see you at aidan and emma 's , right ? '' he swallowed hard . `` um , yes , i 'll be there . '' `` good , '' she replied , with an alluring smile . she gave him a small wave before walking off to join her parents . shaking his head , he mumbled , `` this is trouble . '' chapter four when megan arrived with her parents at aidan and emma 's , she was surprised to see a catering truck outside in the driveway . her surprise continued once she got inside the house . gazing out into the backyard , she saw where tables were set up alongside the pool . the tables were adorned with blue and white tablecloths and glittering blue and white centerpieces . a low whistle behind her got megan 's attention . turning around , she saw casey shaking her head . `` wow , this is one epic baptism party , '' she remarked . `` it 's impressive . that 's for sure , '' megan agreed . as emma breezed into the kitchen with noah in a more comfortable outfit , casey cocked her head . `` so , i was just wondering where the ice sculptures were ? '' pink tinged emma 's cheeks . `` i kinda got carried away . with me not working anymore , the old marketing and pr side of me let loose . and with my connections , i was able to get everything ridiculously discounted . '' `` everything looks wonderful . you waited so long to have a baby that it makes sense you might go a little overboard . '' emma wrinkled her nose . `` i never wanted to be one of those moms who threw the over-the-top parties . '' while casey started to open her mouth , megan smacked her playfully . `` it 's just catered in food , right ? '' `` they did the tables , too . '' `` then i think you 're safe from being a momzilla party monster ... for now . '' casey laughed . `` i 'll anxiously be awaiting noah 's first birthday party . '' with a scowl , emma mumbled , `` whatever . '' realizing she did n't see mason , megan quickly excused herself and went outside . she did n't like the idea of him being close to the pool . even with everyone around , it was still too dangerous for her liking . just as her chest started to tighten , she saw him on her papa 's lap .

the two of them sat at one of the tables underneath the shade of a massive umbrella . several of her other younger cousins sat around them , playing on their psps and other hand-held devices . `` we 're fine , honey , '' papa replied . `` let me know if he gets to be too much . '' cocking his head , papa demanded , `` are you trying to say i 'm old or something ? '' `` no , not at all . he 's a handful even for me . '' he waved her away with a hand gnarled with age and time . `` go on and enjoy yourself . i 'll keep an eye on mason . '' she smiled and leaned down to kiss his weathered cheek . `` thanks , papa . '' `` you know , while you 're enjoying yourself , you might go spend a little time with the godfather . '' megan 's eyes widened . was he trying to set her up with pesh like he had with emma ? he gave her a knowing look . `` be good for both of you . '' `` um , okay . whatever , papa , '' she murmured , before she turned away . although she hated to admit it , she had been looking forward to talking to pesh again . she had tried to kid herself that she had n't secretly been searching the crowd for him when she was taking in all of emma 's decorations . when she did finally catch sight of him , her traitorous heart skipped a beat . she did n't mind if her body gave a reaction , but it pissed her off that her heart was affected by him as well . he 'd ditched his suit jacket along with his tie . with the first button of his shirt undone , she could see a tuft of dark chest hair . she bit her lip at the sight . she was a sucker for chest hair . her eyes dipped down to take in how the sleeves of his white shirt had been rolled up to his elbows , giving just a glimpse of his defined biceps . casey had been absolutely right-he was built like a brick shithouse . megan wanted nothing more than to get better acquainted with his body , especially with fewer clothes on him . at the sound of emma 's voice behind her , she jumped . `` ready to eat ? '' `` um , sure . '' emma gave her a puzzled look before nodding in pesh 's direction . `` why do n't you ask pesh to join you at aidan 's and my table ?

he does n't know a lot of people , and i would hate to have him end up with the kids . '' megan quirked her brows in surprise . `` are you sure ? '' `` why would n't i be ? '' with a shrug , megan replied , `` i do n't know . maybe because you did n't like the idea of me getting to know him . '' `` i never said i did n't want you two to get to know each other-i said i did n't want you using him for a fling . '' megan could n't help rolling her eyes . `` the day is n't over yet . i could still turn on my powers of seduction and lure pesh into a night of seedy passion . '' emma stared at her in shock before busting out laughing . `` seedy passion ? those words and pesh will never , ever go together in the same sentence . '' `` are you saying that you and aidan have never had seedy passion ? '' `` aidan and pesh are not in the same league of men . i love aidan , but he 's not necessarily a gentleman . pesh is . '' `` yeah , but you 're a lady , '' megan protested . `` maybe in the street , but she 's one hell of a freak in the bedroom , '' aidan said behind them . emma squealed before whirling around to smack him . `` people could hear you , '' she admonished . as aidan chuckled , megan shook her head . `` forget other people . me having to hear it was painful enough . '' crossing his arms over his chest , aidan said , `` i came over here to ask if we were going to eat or not ? people are getting restless . i had no idea i was going to interrupt such an interesting conversation . of course , i do n't think i want to know why the two of you are discussing emma 's and my sex life right now . '' emma waved her hand dismissively . `` we were n't . and yes , we 're ready to eat . let 's round everyone up . '' as emma walked off to call people to sit down , aidan grinned at megan before saying , `` total freak . '' megan closed her eyes as if in pain . `` spare me . please . '' `` just saying . because you never know if your gentleman might be a super freak too . ''

and with a wink , he walked off to join emma , leaving megan to wonder why everyone seemed so concerned with hers and pesh 's love lives . as the sunlight started fading , most of the party guests began to trickle out the door . by the time it was dark , it was only a few of aidan and emma 's close friends left . megan had let her parents take a sleepy mason home , vowing she wanted to stay to help emma clean up . the truth was she wanted to spend as much time as she could with pesh . thankfully , she found herself sitting next to him at one of the poolside tables . somehow they managed to end up by themselves after some of the other guests had left . leaning forward in her chair , she asked , `` did you always want to be a doctor ? '' `` for my fifth birthday , my father bypassed the usual play doctor 's kits by giving me a real medical bag with tools from the hospital . i examined everyone who would stand still long enough , including the two dogs . '' megan laughed . `` i bet you were a cute little doctor . '' `` my mother has some embarrassing pictures , '' he replied , with a smile . `` so your father was also a doctor ? '' `` yes , he had a general medicine practice for forty years . he just recently retired . '' `` did he pressure you to follow in his footsteps ? '' he grinned . `` i 'm starting to feel like i 'm being interrogated . '' `` i 'm sorry if you feel that way . i 'm just trying to get to know you . '' `` you 're certainly a very attractive interrogator , '' he said . `` i think you 're avoiding the question by flattering me . '' `` there 's flattery and then there 's the truth . '' cocking her brows , she replied , `` and then there 's not answering my question . '' he held up his hands in defeat . `` fine , fine . no , i did n't feel pressure to become a doctor . my father would have never wanted me to pursue a profession where i did n't feel useful . '' `` so you 've always had a need to help people ? '' `` pretty much . as the oldest , i always looked out for my two younger brothers and sister . my mother has always called me an old soul . '' `` i can see that about you . '' leaning forward , he rested his elbows on the table . `` now it is my turn to be the interrogator . '' `` okay , i do n't mind . '' `` what about you ?

did you always see nursing in your future ? '' `` yes and no . originally , i wanted to be a doctor . '' his brows shot up in surprise . when she nodded , he asked , `` what happened ? '' there was no way she was going to tell him the truth about her past and why she had been forced to abandon medical school . instead , she shrugged . `` life happened , i guess . i decided on the next best thing , which was nursing . '' pesh stared thoughtfully at her . `` was it your son ? '' `` excuse me ? '' `` was it your son who changed your plans about medical school ? '' `` no , it was before i had mason . '' `` does he ... are you ... ? '' pesh shook his head . `` forgive me . i was being too forward . '' `` no , go ahead . i told you i was n't afraid to answer your questions . '' he grimaced . `` but it 's rude to pry , and it 's not my business . '' `` just ask your question , '' she replied . after a resigned sigh , he finally asked , `` were you married ? '' `` no , i 'm not divorced . and no , mason 's father does n't have anything to do with him . '' anger flashed in pesh 's dark eyes . `` even though i know nothing of him , i know that he is not a man . a man does not abandon his children and his responsibilities . '' `` you would be right . he 's just a boy playing at being a man , '' she replied , glancing down at the table . when pesh took her hand in his , she jerked her head up in surprise . in a soft voice that vibrated with empathy , he asked , `` he hurt you very much , did n't he ? '' as she shifted in her chair , she tried downplaying the moment by wagging her free finger at pesh . `` now you 're really turning the heated questions on me , are n't you ? '' he quickly released her hand . `` i apologize . '' she sighed . `` no , it 's okay . '' she raked her fingers through her hair as she tried processing if she was really going to be honest with pesh . gazing into his eyes , she did n't detect any judgment or prying-there was only compassion . `` yes , he hurt me . he continues to hurt me each time i look at mason and realize what he 's being denied . ''

she jerked her chin over to where aidan cradled a sleeping noah in his arms . as the others talked and laughed around him , aidan stared down at his son with such love in his eyes and adoration on his face that it cut a jagged hole in megan 's chest . her chin trembled as she replied , `` i want that for my son . '' pesh 's dark eyes pooled with empathy as he once again took her hand in his . `` it is n't the same pain , but i do know how you feel . i experience it every time i see a husband and wife sharing a loving moment . it drives home what i do not have ... what i have lost . '' megan wiped her eyes with the back of her hand . `` emma told me about your wife . i 'm very sorry . '' `` thank you , '' he murmured . nibbling her bottom lip , megan then hesitantly asked , `` what was she like ? '' by his raised eyebrows , pesh seemed surprised by her question . megan hoped she had n't stepped over a boundary in asking . he leaned back in his chair and drew in an agonized breath . `` she was my world-the sun , the moon , and the stars . '' he met her intense gaze , checking to see if she really wanted him to continue . after she gave a brief nod , he began to talk . he told her how they had met and all the little attributes that jade possessed that made her special . as megan listened to him speak with such reverence and love about his late wife , she could n't help feeling just a little bit jealous . she 'd never had a man possess such intense feelings for her . she could n't imagine ever being loved so completely by a man that not even death could lessen his feelings . `` what you had with jade , what you still feel for her , it 's really beautiful , '' she murmured when he finished . pesh jerked a hand through his thick hair . `` it 's interesting to hear you say that . i think most women are turned off by what they perceive is a man who ca n't let go of his dead wife . '' megan shook her head . `` i do n't think so . who would n't be turned on by a man who feels so deeply that he did n't stop loving his wife just because she died ? '' pesh 's eyes widened at her statement , and he sucked in a harsh breath .

`` most women do n't want to share your heart , '' he challenged softly . `` then they 're obviously insecure . all of us have the ability to love people in infinite capacities . i love my son with all my heart and soul , but there will still be room for a man ... someday . '' he stared at her for a moment , unblinking and unmoving . `` i have to say that i find your reasoning absolutely fascinating . '' `` you do ? '' `` yes . '' the intensity of his gaze caused her to laugh nervously . `` i do n't think a man has ever called me fascinating . '' `` that 's a pity . '' before she could try changing the subject , aidan came by their table with noah in his arms . `` after i put him down , i 'm going to make some drinks . emma wants one of her margaritas . you game ? '' he asked megan . she nodded . a drink would certainly help cool her off after the conversation she 'd been having with pesh . `` sure . i do n't think i 've had one in forever . '' `` neither has she . i may be peeling her off the ceiling tonight , '' he teased . `` you have seriously got to stop with the innuendo . you are my uncle , and it is mortifying and disgusting to have to think of you in that capacity . '' `` i am so terribly sorry for scaring your sensitive mind . '' grinning , aidan turned to pesh . `` beer okay with you , or would you like something fruity , too ? '' `` i 'm fine with a beer , '' pesh replied . aidan bobbed his head . `` be right back . '' after aidan headed in the house , pesh caught her staring at him . `` what ? '' `` just surprised you wanted a beer , that 's all . '' `` and why is that ? '' she shrugged . `` you just seemed a little too refined for beer . '' he tilted his head at her . `` what other preconceived notions do you have about me ? '' `` none really , '' she lied . in her mind , she could n't help thinking how she wanted to make him be dirty just for her . she wondered what other surprises he might have up his sleeve . `` for some reason , i do n't believe that . '' he crossed his arms over his broad chest . `` let me guess .

you think that i 'm a 'refined ' man who drinks wine , would never think of cussing or have inappropriate thoughts , organizes his underwear drawer , and who considers doing the crossword puzzle a fun friday night ? '' megan could n't help snorting at his summation . it was a good distraction not to focus on how he had mentioned inappropriate thoughts and his underwear drawer . at the moment , she was having inappropriate thoughts about his underwear ... or hopefully lack thereof . of course , she could n't help judging him as not being the commando type . `` no , that 's not what i think of you . '' `` i would hope not . i know that since i 'm a little older than you- '' `` just a little ? '' the corners of his lips turned up . `` obviously you think i 'm an old man . '' `` no , i do n't , '' she blurted . `` how old do you think i am ? just shy of adult diapers and a walker ? '' she scowled at him . `` i was not insinuating that at all . i think you 're probably close to ankle 's age . '' pesh 's brows furrowed in confusion . `` ankle ? '' she laughed before explaining where the nickname came from . `` i see . so just how old is ankle again ? '' `` thirty-four . '' `` hmm , '' pesh murmured . `` are you younger than that ? '' `` older actually . i 'm thirty-seven . '' damn , he was a lot older than her . twelve years to be exact . `` did i shock you ? '' he asked , with a teasing lilt in his voice . `` i 'd hardly call thirty-seven old . '' `` it 's considerably older than you are , right ? '' `` i suppose , '' she lied . he grinned at her as he leaned on the table with his elbows . `` and just how old are you ? '' `` twenty-five-i 'll be twenty-six in a few months . '' `` twenty-five going on twenty-six . '' `` i must be positively ancient to you . '' he held out his hand and examined it . `` i might have a liver spot or two . '' she smacked his hand playfully . `` shut up . thirty-seven is not old . '' `` see any grey hairs ? '' he asked , bending over to where his delicious head of hair was in front of her face . her fingers itched to run through the dark strands .

her mind ran straight to an illicit image of her fingers tugging on his hair as he went down on her , jerking too hard when he sucked and licked her until she came , and then stroking the damp hair back from his forehead as he rose up to cover her body with his . she cleared her throat that had run dry . `` no , of course not . '' he jerked his head up to wink at her . `` then there 's hope for me yet . '' `` i would think so . '' aidan appeared then , carrying all the drinks on a tray . `` i expect a tip when you guys finish , '' he teased . `` i 'll remember that , '' megan replied . after jerking his chin toward the table next to him , aidan said , `` why do n't you guys come over here with us ? '' she fought the urge to slap him . she was enjoying having pesh to herself . `` um , sure . okay , '' she said , reluctantly rising out of her chair . when they changed tables , she was glad to see pesh take the empty chair beside her , rather than across from her . once she got settled in , she was n't lamenting her seat change too much . between casey , and emma 's other best friend , connor , the table was kept in raucous laughter . it was good being with a group of friends . after she had gotten pregnant , she did n't have much in common with her sorority sisters anymore . then when she became a mom , she rarely saw anyone from her old group . her life moved in an entirely different orbit than theirs now . the conversation and laughter flowed as easily as the drinks . megan found herself halfway through her second margarita when she started feeling funny . a flush filled her cheeks at the same time she felt clammy . as aidan came back with another beer , she asked , `` did you put something different in this one ? '' `` yeah , we ran out of the tequila i got for the party , so i gave my favorite niece a good dose of sierra silver . '' megan demanded . aidan 's brows furrowed behind his tipped back beer bottle . once he swallowed , he asked , `` does it taste bad ? '' megan pinched her eyes shut . the room was beginning to spin around her a little . as she brought her hand to her forehead , she heard a smack across the room and aidan cry , `` ow , dammit , em ! '' `` that tequila is a hundred and fifty proof alcohol , aidan , '' emma chastised . `` sorry . i did n't realize it . i just thought it was the better stuff because it was white tequila .

that 's your drink of choice , not mine . '' oh god , she was in so much trouble . she 'd barely consumed any alcohol since she got pregnant and had mason . now she 'd had one regular dosed margarita and almost a full one of straight alcohol . a gentle hand landed on her thigh . `` are you all right ? '' pesh asked . she opened her eyes to see two blurry images of him staring at her with concern . `` not exactly . '' `` would you like me to take you home ? '' `` yes , please . while i can still walk . '' as she rose out of her chair , she swayed a little in her heels . after taking two steps , aidan 's apologetic face appeared before her . `` i 'm sorry , meggie . '' `` it 's not your fault . and i 'll be fine . '' she wagged a finger at him . `` but when i get shit for coming home drunk , i 'm so telling mom it was your fault . '' `` i 'll gladly take the blame and fear angie 's wrath . '' he leaned in to hug her . `` thanks for today-you know , for being noah 's godmother . '' `` you 're welcome . thanks for me asking you . '' `` i mean , thanks for asking me . '' god , this was bad . after exchanging hugs with emma and reassuring her at least twenty times that she would be fine and that she did need to go home , pesh led megan out the front door . he slid a strong arm around her waist to steady her as they went down the porch steps . as she staggered to the car , she moaned . `` i ca n't go home yet . not like this . '' she stared up into his face . `` i ca n't let mason see me like this . '' he pushed a strand of hair out of her face . `` do n't worry . i 'll take you to my house then . '' `` just so i can sober up ? '' she questioned , although she really did n't mean it . she wanted to go to his house for a lot more , especially after being so close to his fabulously built body . `` yes , of course . i 'll make you some strong , black coffee . '' `` thank you , '' she murmured , trying to still the spinning of her head . always the gentleman , pesh opened the door for her , and she collapsed onto the seat .

once he made sure she was comfortable , he closed the door and went around the front of the car . megan gazed around at the plush interior of the jaguar with its leather seats and sleek console . after pesh slid into his seat , he put the key in the ignition and cranked up . as they started backing out of the driveway , she glanced over at him . `` do you have to come to the rescue women of drunken . '' `` i mean , drunken women a lot ? '' wait , was she slurring ? he cut his eyes over at her and smiled . he seemed to be trying really hard not to laugh at her . but i 'm always happy to help a damsel in distress . '' megan giggled . oh god , now she was giggling ? she never giggled . she eyed pesh suspiciously . `` got a hero complex , huh ? wan na be every woman 's knight in shining armor ? '' `` not every woman 's , '' he murmured . `` mmm , pesh , you wan na be my knight in shining armor ? '' as soon as the words left her lips , she fought the urge to slap her hand over her mouth . alcohol always had this effect on her-it left her completely without a sensor . pesh 's jaw clenched , and he did n't reply . pitching her upper body over the armrest , she got as close to him as she could . `` you did n't answer my question . '' taking his eyes momentarily off the road , he pinned her with an intense gaze . `` i 'd be anything and everything you wanted me to be , if you would give me the chance . '' momentarily dumbfounded , she could only stare at him . `` oh wow , '' she replied , as she collapsed back onto the seat . the motion caused her to feel dizzy . mumbling almost incoherently , she said , `` mmm , hot as f**k and anything i want . lucky me . '' `` i have a feeling you would n't have asked the original question if you were n't intoxicated . '' with a snort , she replied , `` drunk or sober that woulda been a helluva line to hear from a man . '' `` i 'm glad you think so . '' after spending a few moments in tense silence , megan leaned forward to flick on the radio . `` do you mind ? '' `` go ahead . '' humming along with one of the songs , she laid her head back on the seat . `` i wo n't hurt your ears by singing . ''

`` do you not sing ? '' `` oh , i sing , but i do n't do it well . emma 's the one with the voice . '' `` so i 've heard . '' turning to look at him , megan asked , `` did she ever sing for you ? '' `` sadly , no . '' megan harrumphed as she crossed her arms over her chest . `` she made out with you , but she would n't sing for you ? that 's just rude . '' pesh made a strangled noise . `` emma told you ... about us ? '' `` mmm , hmm . '' she grinned at him . `` i hear you 're a great kisser . '' cutting his eyes over to her , he gave her a pained look . `` it really was n't like that for us . i mean , we were n't in love with each other . '' `` yeah , that 's what she said . course , she did admit that you got her all hot and bothered . '' `` s-she did ? '' he stammered , embarrassment coloring his cheeks . `` hey , the ability to get a woman hot is nothing to be ashamed of . hell , i got turned on when i first saw you today . like my panties got wet . '' `` megan , do n't , '' pesh warned , gripping the steering wheel to where his knuckles turned white . turning in her seat , she eyed him before licking her lips . `` you do n't want me to say how you got me hot in a church ? how you still get me hot acting all bashful about the sex talk ? '' `` please . just do n't . '' `` fine , '' she muttered , before flouncing back in her seat . she did n't speak to him for a long time . instead , she closed her eyes and laid back with her head cushioned on the head rest . when the car started to slow , she snapped her eyes open . she did n't know if she fell asleep or passed out . sitting up , she peered out the window at the posh houses of the subdivision they were in . as they pulled into the driveway , megan could n't help staring up at the house . `` holy shit , this place is beautiful . '' pesh chuckled . `` i know you think it 's just the alcohol talking , but i 'm serious . you have great taste . '' `` i hope you 'll like the inside just as much . ''

`` i 'm sure i will . '' after he came around to open the door , she hopped out of the car a little too fast . her wobbly legs wavered , and she ended up crashing into pesh 's chest . staring up at him , she gave an apologetic smile . `` sorry about that . '' `` it 's fine . need some help ? '' with the alcohol fueling her libido , she replied , `` if it means having your hands on me , then sure . '' pesh grimaced , but his arm still came around her waist to steady her . she loped along beside him . after he unlocked the door and punched in the alarm code , she followed him inside . her blurry vision took in the expansive kitchen with his gleaming stainless steel appliances . she followed him as he made his way into the living room . motioning toward the couch , he said , `` why do n't you have a seat while i fix you some coffee ? '' while it was a nice idea to sober herself up , she did n't want any coffee . she just wanted pesh . grabbing the lapels of his suit coat , she pulled herself flush against him . `` when did you put this back on ? '' she wondered aloud . she felt so tiny against his massive chest . it was a good feeling though-one of safety and protection . it also lit her even more on fire with lust . cocking her head , she glanced up at him to survey his expression . even in the semi-darkness , she could see his dark eyes burning with desire . she ran her hands up his chest to his neck . she tugged him down to where his face was inches from hers . fortified with liquid courage , she brought her lips to his . she could n't help the little moan that came from deep in her throat . pesh 's mouth was warm , soft , and inviting . the brief connection made her want him all the more-for him to devour her . tentatively , she slid her tongue across his bottom lip , beckoning him to open for her . almost instantaneously , the warmth of his tongue met hers . they slid against each other , tasting , searching , and seeking . he gripped her face in his hands , holding her captive as his tongue plunged in and out of her mouth . emma had been right-the man could kiss like there was no tomorrow . he knew when to be gentle with his mouth and then when to switch to more demanding , almost conquering kisses .

if he could practically make her soak her panties with just a kiss , what the hell could he do with his dick ? as she started to feel lightheaded and weak on her legs , they stumbled over to the couch before pesh collapsed back , taking her with him . straddling his lap , she gazed at him momentarily before his mouth attacked hers again . as his tongue once again invaded her mouth , she began to raise her h*ps and grind against him . groaning , he broke the kiss by throwing his head back . he gulped in long breaths of air like he was a dying man deprived of his last breath . she felt the same way . she kissed a trail over his chin and down his neck . `` pesh , i want you , '' she murmured into his skin . his chest heaved up and down with her declaration as if he was finding it hard to breathe . she broke away to stare into his eyes . `` please . '' chapter five pesh could n't believe the delicious nightmare he found himself trapped in . a beautiful , sexy blonde writhed against him . the hem of megan 's dress had ridden up to her hips , and a tiny scrap of lace underwear was the only thing covering her core as she rubbed herself against his crotch . her heat and her arousal scorched through the fabric of his pants to singe the skin of his growing erection . he wanted nothing more than to flip her on her back , tear away the underwear , and plunge himself deep inside her . it had been so , so long since he had been within the tight walls of a woman . while his conscious railed against him for even entertaining the thought , his body was onboard . `` please , '' megan whimpered , as she continued to rise and fall over his erection . `` we ca n't ... we should n't . '' she ran her hands up his chest before wrapping them around his neck . `` but i could make you feel good . '' `` i 'm sure you could . '' `` and i know you could make me feel good , too . i 'm already drenched just kissing you . '' her fingers raked through his hair , tugging desperately on the strands . `` i need this , and you need this . '' his body was completely onboard with how much he needed her . if she pressed any closer to him , she was going to set him off and make him do something he had n't since he was a teenager , which was come in his pants . but his once hazy mind was starting to refocus and overpower the desire pumping through his body .

he could not and would not take her when she was drunk . it was completely against his character . he 'd never taken advantage of a woman , and he never would . he gazed into her hooded eyes . `` but it would be so very wrong . '' her lip trembled . `` do n't you want me ? '' `` yes , without a doubt . '' `` then why wo n't you have sex with me ? '' `` because you 're inebriated . '' she rolled her eyes in a huff . `` you 're sooo proper , are n't you ? a proper gentleman . '' he cupped her face in his hands . `` if not taking advantage of you in your state of intoxication makes me a gentleman , then i suppose i am . what kind of man would i be to take you now only to have you wake up with regret and remorse ? '' `` the kind of man who wants to get laid ! '' her hand dipped between them to grasp his erection , causing him to hiss . `` i feel you against me-i know you want this as much as i do . '' although the devil on his shoulder raged at him , he quickly removed megan 's hand . `` believe me when i say i wo n't have sex with you like this . i would never disrespect you so much as to not make love to you like you deserve . '' she blinked a few times as if she was having a hard time processing his words . `` regardless of what you have going on in that head of yours , you are better than this . you deserve a man who will take his time with you and show you what pleasure through making love really is . '' `` i 've never had that , '' she whispered regretfully . he gave her a sad smile . `` i did n't think you had . '' he brushed the hair out of her face and cupped her cheek . `` if i take you , i 'll be making love to you . i 'll have you begging and pleading , but you 'll be coming so many times you 'll lose count . you 'll understand the difference between a quick tumble and the all-consuming power of a physical connection fueled by an emotional one . '' she rapidly blinked her blue eyes in disbelief while her cheeks flushed . `` oh god , did you actually just say that ? '' `` i did . '' he gave her a teasing smile . `` and you 'll be calling out my name more than his . '' `` i ... '' she began before she quickly clamped her lips shut .

her eyes widened before she scrambled off of his lap . before he could question her on what she was doing , she threw up all over the front of her dress . when she wavered on her feet like she was going to collapse , pesh tumbled off the couch , reaching out for her . grabbing both of her shoulders , he steadied her . she glanced down at her dress before gazing back at him . pesh 's heart ached at the sight of tears pooling in her eyes . her chin trembled before big , fat tears slid down her cheeks . `` oh god , '' she whispered . `` please do n't cry . '' `` t-this is s-so embarrassing , '' she hiccupped . you do n't have to be embarrassed . '' moaning , she covered her face with her hands . `` first , i made a fool out of myself coming on to you and now i 've puked in front of you like some sorority girl who ca n't handle her liquor . '' `` stop beating yourself up . come , let 's get you cleaned up . '' he slid an arm around her waist to steady her on their way down the hall to the bedroom . she continued to weep softly as they made their way into the bathroom . using his free hand , he flicked on the light . `` can you stand in the shower ? '' with a weak nod , she replied , `` i think so . '' `` if not , there 's a ledge you can sit on . let me turn on the water for you , and i 'll get you a towel . '' he propped her up against the counter before striding over to the shower . once he felt the water was a good enough temperature , he then went over to the closet . he pulled out a towel before returning to megan who had her head in her hands . with his free hand , he took one of her hands and pulled it away from her face . `` please stop beating yourself up . i hate to see you so upset . '' `` i ca n't help it . i 'm such a fool . '' `` no , if you 're a fool , then so am i . we both wanted each other . '' `` but i got drunk ... i never get drunk anymore . '' `` it was an accident . things like that happen . '' he cupped her chin and forced her to look at him . `` you are none of the negative things your mind is calling you right now . ''

her broken expression , coupled with her need for his reassurance , nearly crushed him . he had to fight from taking her in his arms . he knew if he did that , he would end up doing something he should n't with her . finally , he nodded . `` but you do smell , so go on and get in the shower . '' the corners of her lips curved up in a half smile . `` do you have something i can change into ? and maybe a toothbrush ? '' `` one second . '' leaving her in the bathroom , he went back into the bedroom to his closet . he took out a pair of scrubs he knew would be too big and too long for her and then coupled it with an emory university t-shirt . when he got back to the bathroom , megan was struggling with the zipper at the back of her dress . with a defeated expression , she dropped her hands . `` could you please help me ? '' `` of course . '' he sat the clothes down on the counter . he then reached up to tug down the zipper . the back of the dress gaped open , exposing her cream colored skin and navy blue lace bra and panties . he closed his eyes to try and block out the glaring images rocketing through his mind . his lips on her skin , his tongue licking up her spine , his hands curving around her ribcage to cup her br**sts . he forced himself to step back . clearing his throat , he replied , `` done . '' glancing at him over her shoulder , megan gave him a weak smile . he took out a spare toothbrush from underneath the counter and placed it next to the clothes he 'd brought her . `` let me know if you need anything else . '' `` okay . '' whirling around , he strode out of the bathroom . not wanting to go too far in case megan needed him , he began pacing around the bedroom . he momentarily faltered when he heard the shower turn off . he waited for her to appear , but she did n't . just as he was about to knock on the door , the whirring hum of the hairdryer started . he continued his pacing as she dried her hair . next , he heard the sink water turn on as she brushed her teeth . when it was quiet once again in the bathroom , his feet froze as he stared anxiously at the bathroom door . when it opened , pesh 's breath caught . appearing fresh-faced and clean , megan looked so beautiful as she tentatively stepped into the bedroom . she jumped at his voice .

`` um , it 's fine . thank you again for the clothes and for letting me shower . '' `` you 're more than welcome . and there 's no need to thank me . '' chewing on her lip , she glanced from the bed to him . `` i texted my mother to tell her i was staying the night at emma 's . '' before he could say anything , she quickly added , `` thank you for putting my purse in the bathroom . that was very thoughtful of you . '' `` you 're welcome , '' he replied . then he thought of her text . `` so you 're staying at aidan and emma 's ? '' after all , the last thing he needed was to have her here-a reminder of what he could n't have . it would be enough to drive any man crazy . `` do you mind if i stayed here instead ? '' when he started to open his mouth , she shook her head . `` i promise no funny business . i just do n't want to go home yet . if you do n't want to me to stay , you can take me to emma 's . '' `` of course you can stay . '' `` i can sleep on the couch or in the guest room . '' he shook his head . `` you 'll sleep right here . '' he walked over to his massive king-sized bed . he turned down the covers before glancing back at her . `` come on . getting some rest will make you feel better . '' she eyed him hesitantly . `` i really ca n't take your bed . that would be imposing . '' `` i do n't mind . i promise . '' `` only if you 're sure ? '' `` i 'm sure . '' tentatively , she started walking over to him , her eyes never leaving his . she eased down onto the mattress before sliding beneath the sheets . when she appeared comfortable , he covered her up . as he started to go , she reached out to grab his arm . `` no , please do n't go . do n't leave me alone . '' `` you want me to stay with you ? '' `` yes , please . '' `` in this bed ... with you ? '' when she nodded , he exhaled a ragged breath . `` megan , i do n't think that 's a good idea . '' `` do n't overthink it ; just stay with me . ''

although his brain was raging war at him to make the sane and responsible decision , he replied , `` give me a few minutes . '' `` okay , '' she replied softly . turning , he strode into the bathroom . he did n't bother glancing in the mirror because he was pretty sure he would n't like what he saw . instead , he stripped off his suit and tie . although he probably should have thrown on more clothes , he left his boxers on and grabbed a white shirt off the hamper . after pulling it over his head , he went back out into the bedroom . megan lay on her side in the bed , her face turned toward the bathroom . her eyes were closed , but they popped open the moment he entered the bedroom . without a word to her , he walked around the other side of the bed and climbed inside . lying on his back , he propped one arm over his head . his other hand rested on his chest . he twisted his fingers into the fabric of his shirt over his heart . somehow he wanted to still the erratic beating . just when he thought he might be comfortable , megan turned over to face him . `` you 're so far away , '' she whispered . `` i thought it was for the best . '' the corners of her mouth momentarily turned down in a pout . then she inched closer to him . he sucked in a breath and tried not to hiss when he felt her head nuzzle against his chest . before he could stop her , she had thrown an arm around him . thankfully , she did n't try anything else . and within a few minutes , her labored breathing signaled she had fallen asleep . pesh stared up at the ceiling and willed himself to be able to go to sleep as easily . surprisingly , as megan 's soft snores echoed against his side , his eyes grew heavy . for the first time in two years , he fell asleep with someone in his arms . chapter six sunlight streamed across megan 's face , causing her to squint her eyes tighter closed against the bright invasion . she was warm and comfortable , and she did n't want to wake up . but the tranquility of her morning was shattered when a soft snore came from behind her . it was far too deep to be one of mason 's . panic prickled its way up her skin . where am i ? her eyes frantically scanned the room . overcome by both masculine decor and smells , she realized she was in a man 's bedroom , or more importantly a man 's bed .

she had n't woken up this dazed and confused since she got hammered for the first time . she could n't even remember what day it was . this was bad . very , very bad . she had to get out of there and get home to mason . what kind of mother was she to wake up in a strange man 's bed ? as she tried to roll over , she found herself entrapped by a strong arm wrapped around her waist . her gaze flicked down to the tan , muscled arm . who the hell did that belong to ? a whimper escaped her lips . oh god , had she actually slept with a man she had no memory of ? never in her life had she made such a mistake as that . nausea overcame her , and she knew she needed to get out of bed and into the bathroom . she shoved herself so hard away from the person that she ended up elbowing him in the ribs . he groaned . `` oh , i 'm sorry . i did n't mean to hurt you , '' she quickly apologized . `` it 's okay , megan , '' he murmured drowsily . that voice . it took only a second for her to register who she was in bed with . and with that realization , everything from the night before came crashing down on her . she had accidentally gotten drunk off her ass , pesh had taken her to his house to sober up , and then ... oh god , she had come on to him like a brazen floozy . she buried her head in her hands and moaned . `` hey , how do you feel this morning ? '' `` like i 've been run over by a truck . '' `` want me to fix you a good hangover cure ? '' she peeked at him through her fingers . `` you actually know a hangover cure ? '' `` you think someone like me has never been drunk ? '' when she bobbed her head , he laughed . `` i 'm sorry to disappoint you , but there have been many , many times i 've woken up just as you are now . '' `` that 's hard to imagine . '' she gazed down at the scrubs and t-shirt she was in . although she doubted it , she could n't help but ask . `` did we ... '' `` no , we did n't . '' she arched her brows in surprise . `` if we did n't sleep together , then why did you ... i mean , why are you in bed with me ? '' `` because you begged me to stay . '' she gasped in horror .

was n't it enough that she had thrown herself so wantonly at him , but now she 'd begged him to stay with her ? `` i did ? '' `` you said you did n't want to be alone . '' vaguely she remembered pleading with him to lie close to her . what a nightmare . `` i 'm so sorry . '' `` do n't apologize . '' when she started to protest , he held up a hand . `` i have to admit it was nice being in bed with someone again-feeling their warmth , the softness of their body as they lay beside you . '' `` i 've missed that more than i knew . '' overcome with the emotions threatening to overtake her , megan did n't know what to say . all she knew is she needed to get out of there . `` i need to get home ... or to emma 's . i ca n't let my parents think i stayed out all night with a man i just met . '' `` i understand . i would n't dream of compromising your reputation . '' she stared at him for a moment . sometimes the way he spoke made it seem like he was from a different world or time period . `` i , uh , i need to use the bathroom . '' tumbling out of the covers , she then streaked across the room . once she closed the door behind her , she exhaled the breath she 'd been holding . she made it to the toilet just in time to throw up again . she wondered after doing the same thing the night before how there was anything left in her stomach to empty . once she finished , she leaned over the sink , pooling water in her hand before bringing it to her mouth . after gargling to rid herself of the nasty taste , she eventually dug under the counter for some mouthwash , and then brushed her teeth . without a hairbrush or comb , she did her best to tame her out-of-control hair . once she surmised that she looked presentable enough to face the firing squad , aka aidan and emma , she left the bathroom . pesh had thrown on some clothes and stood in the middle of the room . he raised his brows expectantly at her . `` i 'm ready to go now . '' when she started for the bedroom door , she abruptly stopped . `` wait , my dress ? '' `` i 'll send it out to be dry cleaned . '' `` oh , '' she murmured . in silence , they made their way through the house .

megan tried not to be so obvious as she took in the high ceilings of the living room , the floor to ceiling windows that overlooked a large , spacious yard . pesh had an amazing house-one that was far too big for just him . it certainly was made for a family-the one he sadly did n't have . as he started to open the door leading out to the garage for her , pesh stopped and turned around . staring intently at her , he said , `` i 'd like to see you again . '' megan could n't help the shocked gasp that escaped her lips . she 'd made a repeated fool out of herself the night before , and he still wanted to see her ? `` you ca n't be serious . '' she gave a slight jerk of her head . `` i do n't think that is a good idea . '' `` but why ? '' he countered sincerely . with a contemptuous snort , she replied , `` is n't it obvious ? '' `` if you 're alluding to the fact you accidentally got drunk last night and then became ill , that has little relevance to me . accidents happen , and i 'm man enough to realize that . '' he closed the gap between them . `` i liked being with you yesterday . '' remembering what emma had said , megan could n't help asking , `` you want to date me , do n't you ? '' `` yes of course . what else would i want to do ? '' when she replied , `` have sex , '' a flush entered his cheeks . `` that is not what i meant . '' `` and that 's a pity . '' his brows furrowed . `` whatever do you mean ? '' `` you and i ... we want different things . you want to date and get married again , right ? '' `` yes , that is something i desire very much . '' `` but i do n't want to be in a serious relationship right now with you or anyone for that matter . i 'm certainly not ready to get married anytime soon . i just wanted to have some fun with someone . '' pesh frowned . `` i do n't think i understand . '' `` what i want from you is the same thing i wanted last night . just sex , '' she answered honestly . `` you do n't want to date me ... you only want to have sex with me ? '' if the situation had n't been so dire , megan might 've laughed at the horrified expression on pesh 's face . he appeared absolutely floored that she could ever think of only using him as a sex toy .

finally , when she gathered herself together , she shook her head . `` i 'm sorry , but that 's the way i feel . '' she braced herself for some sort of wrath out of him or even a lecture . what he did was even more surprising . `` and i 'm sorry you feel that way because i would have really enjoyed getting to know you better . '' without another word , he opened the door . always the gentleman , he waited for her to go through first . tucking her head to her chest , she bypassed him to walk to the car . once again , he appeared to open the car door for her . `` thank you , '' she murmured . he nodded before walking around the front of the car . without another word to her , pesh cranked up , and then began backing down the driveway . the ride to aidan and emma 's was only twenty minutes , but it seemed to take an eternity . the painful silence hung heavy around her . pesh did n't look at her . instead , he kept his gaze firmly on the road ahead of them . when he pulled into aidan and emma 's driveway , megan felt her stomach clench . she wished there was some way to make things right between them . but she had a feeling she had gone too far and said too much . as he put the car in park , he turned to look at her . `` thank you for the ride , '' she said . it was my pleasure . '' `` most of all , i want to thank you for taking care of me last night . you truly went above and beyond . i can never thank you enough . '' `` you do n't have to thank me . i 'm glad i was able to help you . '' nibbling on her bottom lip , she finally allowed herself to say what she was holding back on . `` i wish things could be different , '' she said softly . when she dared herself to look at him , she found him staring intently at her . `` i 'm sorry , too . take care of yourself . okay ? '' she bobbed her head . `` the same to you . '' with trembling hands , she fumbled for the door handle . when she was finally able to open the door , she stumbled out onto the pavement . as she made her way up the driveway , she could feel pesh 's eyes on her . the car remained parked as she climbed the porch steps and rang the doorbell .

she hoped that noah was already up , and she was n't waking the household . aidan threw open the door . `` megan ? what the hell ? '' his question and concern caused her to burst into tears . `` why are you crying ? '' aidan demanded . `` it 's a long story . '' he glanced from her out the door to pesh 's car . his expression darkened . `` did pesh hurt you ? '' `` no ! of course not . '' `` if he 's made you cry , i do n't care whether he 's noah 's godfather or not . i 'll punch his lights out ! '' she grabbed his arm . `` stop it , ankle ! it 's not him , it 's me . it 's all my fault . he stared at her in surprise . `` give me some coffee and a chance to calm down , and then i 'll tell you everything . '' although his expression was skeptical , aidan nodded , and then started to close the door . megan stole one last glance of pesh as his car started reversing down the driveway . she hoped for her sake and his it was the last time she would have to see him . chapter seven megan nervously tapped her thumbs on the steering wheel of her car . her clinical placement had come through , and she was now on her way to make her introductions to her preceptor , the nurse who would supervise her . although she had initially been disappointed in not receiving grady , she was still excited to be doing the last part of the journey to becoming a nurse . she was also grateful she had n't received the night shift that some of her fellow nursing students had . she would have rarely been able to see mason if she had to sleep during the day and work at night . she pulled into the parking lot of the wellstar er and eased into the first space she found . after turning off the car , she grabbed her folder of paperwork along with her purse and headed inside . she stopped at the front desk . `` i 'm not a patient . i 'm a clinical student here to see kristi parkman . '' `` go on through , '' the receptionist said , before she buzzed open the authorized personnel only door . breezing inside the heart of the er , megan could n't help feeling excited . she could n't wait until she got her feet wet by working with patients . glancing around , she was n't exactly sure how she was going to find the preceptor . she stopped at an area teaming with nurses .

`` can i help you ? '' one of them asked . `` yes , i 'm here to see kristi parkman . '' a tall blonde woman in her fifties came over to her with a beaming smile . `` you must be ms . mckenzie ? '' `` it 's so nice to meet you . '' `` it 's nice meeting you , too . '' `` we 're so very glad to have you . i 've taken a look at your transcript , and it 's quite impressive . '' `` thank you , '' megan replied . `` why do n't i show you around today ? that way you 'll be ready to go with the flow tomorrow . '' `` sounds good . '' with a smile , kristi led her around the maze of rooms . she pointed out where the medicine room was , the trauma area , and where she would find the break room . each time they passed a nurse or a doctor , kristi was quick to introduce megan . `` everyone seems very friendly , '' megan mused . `` it really is a great place to work . now , i 'm not going to lie that some of the residents can be real ass**les . but we 're so lucky to have a supervisor who is such a sweetheart . '' `` that 's wonderful . '' `` yes , everyone loves dr . nadeen . '' megan 's heartbeat slowed to a standstill . nadeen . no , it could n't be . surely there were more doctors with that last name . searching her mind , she tried desperately to remember where he said he worked . `` oh good , he 's just down the hall . let me introduce you two . '' `` no , that 's really is n't necessary , '' megan protested feebly . ignoring her , kristi called , `` dr. nadeen , come meet our newest nursing candidate . '' the moment he turned around , megan felt like she was going to throw up . after spending two months trying hard to forget about her infamous night with pesh nadeen , there he was right in front of her . she could n't help having the classic line from casablanca flash in her head , `` out of all the gin joints in all the world , she had to walk into mine . '' she certainly felt that way about all the hospitals she could have possibly been assigned to , she had to be assigned to his . the shock and surprise registered on his face as well .

he was quick to mask it by smiling warmly at her . `` hello again , megan . '' kristi 's brows shot up at the familiarity of pesh 's greeting . `` you know each other ? '' `` um , well , '' megan began . how was she going to explain ? the last thing she needed was to get off on the wrong foot with her coworkers . `` she and i share a godson . '' `` oh how wonderful . '' kristi patted megan 's back . `` what luck for you then ending up here out of all the hospitals ? '' `` yes , what luck , '' megan murmured . kristi smiled . `` well , i 'll let you two catch up for a minute or two . '' `` no , that 's okay . you do n't have to do that , '' megan protested . waving her hand dismissively , kristi said , `` it gives me a chance to go grab a snack and something to drink . be back in a few , and we 'll finish the tour . '' megan fought the urge to run after kristi as she walked off . instead , she turned back to pesh who was staring expectantly at her . `` you do n't exactly look happy to see me , '' pesh said . she shook her head wildly . `` how could i be ? the man , who i completely made an ass out of myself in front of , is at the hospital where i 'm doing my clinicals . that does n't exactly make my day . '' `` for the last time , you have nothing to be embarrassed about . '' `` sorry , but that does not make me feel any better , '' she grumbled . `` what can i do to put you at ease about working with me ? '' rubbing her now aching head , she replied , `` i do n't know . if i thought it would n't make me look bad , i 'd request a transfer . '' `` i offend you that much ? '' as she gazed up at him , his expression was wounded . `` no , no , you do n't offend me . it 's just that ... '' she chewed mercilessly on her bottom lip before she continued . after taking a ragged breath , she replied , `` it 's just that for the past two years , i had pretty good control of my life . the night i was with you , i let all that control crumble . by getting drunk , i became someone else-someone i used to be .

the girl , or woman , who would do anything to get a man 's attention . i do n't like that person very much , and i do n't ever want to go back there . seeing you just makes me remember all of that . '' megan could n't help being surprised by how honest she 'd been able to be with him . pesh remained silent for a moment . his dark eyes bore into hers . `` i am sorry that you reflect so negatively on the night we were together . for me , it was not marred by drinking or you getting sick . i enjoyed spending time with you and getting to know you . '' `` i enjoyed waking up with you . i would give anything for you to be able to look at me without having to feel bad about yourself . '' `` you really enjoyed being with me that night ? '' `` when i told you i wanted to see you again , i was serious . '' `` that 's very sweet of you , but i have n't changed my mind about dating . '' `` you have n't ? '' with a shake of her head , she replied , `` i have too much going on in my life right now to get involved with someone . it would n't be fair to them ... to you . especially since we still want very different things from each other . '' `` i see , '' he replied . megan noticed the sadness that darkened his expression . `` i 'm sorry , '' she murmured . `` you have nothing to regret . any grief i 'm experiencing is once again my fault . '' he gave her a rueful smile . `` i seem to keep falling for women who are n't meant for me . '' she sucked in a harsh breath at his words . `` falling ? you are ... you were falling for me ? '' pesh opened his mouth to reply , but at the sound of kristi coming back from the break room , he shut it . closing the gap between them , he whispered , `` do n't worry about working with me , megan . we 'll always be friends , and i will respect your wishes and your distance . '' for some reason , his words had the opposite effect they should have , and regret ricocheted through her . finally , she managed to say , `` thank you . i appreciate that . '' with a smile , he then turned and walked away . she heaved a painful breath as kristi walked up to her . `` such a sweetheart , is n't he ? '' `` yes , he is , '' megan murmured .

`` not bad on the eyes either . '' a nervous giggle escaped megan 's lips . `` no , he 's not . '' `` i swear that half of the women here in the er act like they 're in heat whenever he comes around . '' kristi fanned herself . `` i mean , that body , those eyes , and those dimples . lord , if i was n't a happily married woman , what i would n't want to do to that man ! '' megan knew exactly what kristi meant . unfortunately , she was never going to get the chance to experience it for herself . somehow she 'd managed to find the only man left in the world who would n't partake in just a sexual relationship . no , pesh had to want more than she was willing to give . `` did you hear what i said ? '' kristi asked . megan snapped her gaze from pesh 's retreating form back to face kristi . `` i 'm sorry what ? '' kristi laughed . `` oh no , i 'm about to lose another one to dr. nadeen 's charms , huh ? '' shaking her head wildly , megan replied , `` no , no , we 're just friends-i do n't feel anything like that for him . '' kristi winked . `` yeah , just keep telling yourself that , honey . '' chapter eight as pesh exited one of the exam rooms , he saw megan sitting on a stool at the counter , working on a chart . when the door shut behind him , she jerked her head up and caught him staring . he cleared his throat and walked over to her . `` hello , '' he said , pleasantly . `` hi . '' `` so , are you settling in ? '' `` everyone has been so nice and helpful . '' `` good . i 'm glad to hear that . we usually have very good success rates with our clinical candidates . '' megan smiled before her head dipped back down to work on the chart . nervously , he scratched the back of his neck . things were rolling along with them now that he knew he should n't try to rock the boat . after all , he had promised her he would keep his distance . but he could n't help himself . in the two months since their first encounter , he had n't stopped thinking about her . now that she had shown back up in his life so out of the blue , he could n't help feeling that it was fated .

ask her to dinner , his mind shouted . he bit down on his lip to keep the question he was burning to ask from escaping his mouth . finally , it rushed forth before he could stop himself . `` why do n't you let me buy you dinner after work ? '' megan 's scribbling pen stilled on the chart . she glanced up and cocked her head at him . `` dinner implies a date , and i thought we were clear on that . '' he gave her a nervous smile . `` well , i was only offering some less palatable cafeteria food . i hardly think that constitutes a date . '' `` in my realm of dating consciousness , any time you sit down at a table while eating and drinking together , it is a date . '' crossing his arms over his chest , he countered , `` if that were true , it would mean you were dating your father and brother every time you sat down together . i know your family is close , but i do n't believe they 're that close . '' megan 's brows rose . `` oh , is the good doctor cracking jokes now ? '' `` perhaps . '' the corners of megan 's lips turned up . `` then what exactly would you consider a date ? '' pesh leaned back against the wall , surmising her teasing smile . `` a mutually agreed upon event . '' `` you 're so proper , '' megan teased . he rolled his eyes at her , something he rarely did until he began spending more and more time in her presence . `` and you 're avoiding the initial question . '' megan put down the pen and chart and crossed her arms over her chest . `` so , if you could take me on a date , where would we go ? '' pesh rubbed his jaw in thought . `` well , if would have to be something you would want to do , but i would begin with dinner . '' when she started to protest , he held up his hand . `` somewhere that was romantic with candlelight and soft music-perhaps a place where we could dance in between courses . '' staring at him in surprise , megan replied , `` you 're serious ? '' she slowly shook her head back and forth . `` okay , go on . '' `` once we finished wine and dessert , i would then want to take you somewhere you 've never been- '' `` like your bedroom ? '' megan interjected with a smirk . `` i do believe you 've already been there before . ''

the teasing faded from megan 's expression , and a flush entered her cheeks . `` may i continue ? '' `` yeah , '' she murmured . `` i would want to be with you to experience something you never have before-an art gallery , an opera , a musical . anything that would bring wonderment and excitement to your face . '' he gave her a small smile . `` and it would mean all the more that i was getting to share it with you . '' he watched with almost mild amusement as she processed his words . most likely she had never had a man speak to her the way he was , and it was certainly affecting her . feeling like it was time to go in for the kill , he asked once again , `` so , will you have dinner with me ? '' pesh leaned forward expectantly as megan opened her mouth . they were interrupted by the sound of emma 's voice . `` oh thank god . i 'm so glad you two are on . '' her anxious tone was the only thing that could have torn pesh 's attention away from megan . he glanced from emma to aidan , who was grimacing and rubbing his head . emma replied , `` he fell and hit his head , '' at the same time aidan grunted , `` nothing . '' megan stepped forward and went over to aidan . she gasped as she surveyed him . `` ankle , your pupils are huge ! '' pesh took his penlight out of his coat pocket and went to aidan . as he flashed the light into aidan 's eyes , he grimaced . `` yeah , they are . what exactly happened ? '' he made sure to direct his question to emma since she appeared to be the only one being honest . `` we were at my ob 's for our first ultrasound . '' pesh 's eyes widened . `` ultrasound ... you 're pregnant ? '' `` again ? '' megan questioned by his side . the concern for aidan on emma 's face washed away and was replaced with a beaming smile . `` yes , i 'm eight weeks . '' `` why did n't you say something at dinner sunday ? '' `` well , i only found out two weeks ago , and we wanted to wait to tell everyone until we had the first ultrasound . '' megan 's blonde brows creased . `` so what does the ultrasound have to do with ankle hitting his head ? '' emma pursed her lips and cut her gaze over to aidan . `` would you like to tell them ? ''

when he shook his head and then winced , emma sighed . `` when they hooked me up to the fetal monitor , they thought they heard two heartbeats . at the word 'twins ' , aidan passed out and hit his head on the counter and the floor . '' while pesh quickly turned a laugh into a cough , megan was n't so tactful . she burst out laughing . `` you seriously passed out during the ultrasound ? '' aidan scowled at her . `` in my defense , it was n't quite the ultrasound yet . '' at megan 's continued laughter , he shrugged . `` it was pretty mind-blowing news . '' `` oh ankle , honestly . '' aidan turned to pesh . `` so am i going to stand around all day getting shit , or are you going to examine me ? '' `` of course . your pupils are definitely a matter of concern . '' glancing at emma , aidan said , `` just wait for me here . '' pesh motioned for aidan to go into the first examining room . as soon as the door closed behind him , aidan lunged for him , grabbing the lapels of his white coat . `` i need a vasectomy . today . '' pesh fought the urge to laugh at the absurdity of the situation as well as aidan 's desperation . `` okay , let 's get you to sit down . you 've obviously been through a lot of trauma in the last hour . '' aidan plopped onto the examining table . he buried his head in his hands and groaned . `` what a f**king nightmare of a day . '' `` does your head hurt ? '' `` a little . '' `` any nausea ? '' `` maybe . '' pesh furrowed his brows . `` what do you mean , maybe ? '' aidan raised his head . `` if you 're asking if i 'm nauseated now , the answer would be no . i 'm not . but on the other hand , if you 're asking if i get nauseous thinking about the fact that emma could have been pregnant with twins , and i would have had three kids under two and in diapers ... '' aidan shuddered . `` then yeah , i get really f**king nauseous , and the room starts to spin a little . '' easing down on his stool , he rolled over to aidan . `` take a deep breath for me , okay ? '' aidan 's chest expanded as he inhaled and exhaled .

`` again , '' pesh instructed . after a few cleansing breaths , pesh cocked his head at aidan . `` better ? '' `` yeah , a little , '' aidan croaked . he jerked his hand through his hair . `` are you going to get me a referral for a vasectomy ? '' pesh held up his hand . `` i 'm confused . if you know that emma is n't having twins , why do you want to have a vasectomy ? '' `` because twins run on both sides of our families . pop was a twin , and emma 's uncles are twins . it 's like we have a genetic bull's-eye hovering over us . we can barely be in the same room without conceiving , so it 's just inevitable that she 'll get pregnant again , and then i 'll have four kids ... maybe even five . '' aidan swallowed hard as some of the color drained from his face . `` i ca n't be a baby making machine . '' `` actually , most recent studies still conclude that identical twins can happen to anyone , whereas , fraternal twins are the result of the mother producing two eggs in a single cycle . this tendency to create multiple eggs is passed from mother to child . given that emma does n't have a non-identical twin , you are fairly safe . '' aidan tilted his head , his expression one of confusion . `` so you 're saying i do n't have to worry about that ? '' `` without knowing emma 's full genetic history , i could n't say , but it sounds like a no-at least for fraternal twins . '' after processing pesh 's words , aidan shook his head . `` like it really matters about the twins . we 're still way too fertile together . i need to stop this before it gets out of hand . '' `` and what does emma think about all of this ? '' a red flush entered aidan 's cheeks . `` um , well , i have n't actually mentioned it to her . '' `` you do n't think your wife needs to know about such a life-altering decision ? '' `` well , of course i 'd tell her before i went in for the surgery . '' as pesh crossed his arms over his chest , he could n't help wondering just how hard aidan had been hit in the head . `` you can not seriously be sitting there saying that . '' aidan stared at pesh for a moment before he groaned .

`` oh man , i 'm being a giant , selfish tool about this , are n't i ? '' `` pretty much . '' aidan rubbed his hand over his eyes . `` it 's just ... being a father is f**king scary sometimes . i worry about noah constantly , and now there 's another baby in the mix . plus , another baby means more time taken away from emma . '' he gave a weak smile . `` i love her so much . sometimes ... i just ca n't get enough of her , and i do n't want to share . '' `` i think that 's a perfectly normal feeling . '' aidan shook his head . `` it makes me sound like a selfish bastard . i mean , who is jealous of their kid for taking their wife 's time ? '' `` a lot of men . so stop beating yourself up over what you 're feeling . most of all , do n't bottle it up . talk to emma . '' aidan 's blue eyes widened as he shook his head furiously back and forth . `` oh hell no , i do n't want her thinking badly of me . '' `` she wo n't . emma always appreciates honesty . '' `` about me being jealous of her time with our kids ? i 'm pretty sure she would not want me being honest about that . '' `` what has emma always said is the most important thing in a relationship ? '' `` trust . '' `` so how are you building her trust by lying to her about your feelings ? '' aidan 's blonde brows furrowed . `` so i should just tell her i 'm afraid of losing her and that i want us to maximize our time together ? '' `` i would think so . i do n't think any woman could get angry hearing her husband say how much he loves her and wants to be with her . '' aidan appeared thoughtful . `` i guess you 're right . '' pesh smiled as he patted aidan 's shoulder reassuringly . `` you 're doing a wonderful job being a father . i 'm sure you 'll do just as well with a second and maybe even a third child . '' at the mention of a third child , aidan swallowed hard , his adam 's apple bobbing up and down . `` i do n't mind a third kid ... just not now . maybe in a couple of years . '' he glanced up and smiled at pesh . `` but thanks for the vote of confidence on me being a father . '' `` i just call it as i see it . ''

`` i appreciate that . '' `` how about i check on your head now ? '' aidan nodded . pesh started feeling for unusual lumps and bumps on aidan 's head . `` hmm , i do n't feel anything abnormal . but just to be on the safe side , i want you to have a ct scan to rule out concussion or any brain bleeds . '' `` jesus , i could have all of that from just hitting my head ? '' `` you would be surprised . let me go call in the order , and they 'll come take you back . hopefully you wo n't have too long a wait . we 're usually slower during the afternoons when the doctors ' offices and imaging centers are open . '' as he started for the door , aidan stopped him . `` hey , man , with all the craziness , i almost forgot to ask how is megan doing with her placement ? '' pesh did n't have to think twice before responding , `` she is going to make an incredible nurse . '' aidan grinned . `` i 'm glad to hear it . not that i ever doubted her abilities . it 's just good to hear her praises sung by a doctor . '' popping pesh on the chest teasingly with his hand , aidan asked , `` how 's it going between you and megan ? '' pesh almost laughed out loud at aidan 's forthrightness . it was not in his nature to be so blunt , and after megan turning him down yet again , he was n't really sure how to answer . `` i truly respect and admire megan . '' he considered that the most diplomatic way to answer her uncle 's enquiry . despite feeling glad that he obviously had earned his friend 's respect , he would n't say anything untoward about megan in front of him . it is her business who she did or did n't date . `` that 's not what i meant . '' `` i did n't imagine it was . '' aidan eyed him before saying , `` look i know you got off to a rocky start , but it 's not hopeless . are you planning on asking her out ? '' `` you 're not letting this go , are you ? '' `` nope . not a chance . '' pesh shoved his hands into his lab coat . `` i have asked megan to accompany me on a date , but at this point , we are at a stalemate .

but , i am not planning on giving up anytime soon . does that satisfy your inquisition ? '' aidan laughed , but then his brows furrowed . `` what do you mean ? you two looked pretty cozy and comfortable together when we walked up . '' with a regretful shake of his head , pesh replied , `` she does n't want to date me . '' `` i call bullshit . i may have been bonked in the head , but no one could deny the way she was looking at you . maybe if you- '' although it was against his character , he let his anger override his better judgment . `` she wants me for sex but not for a relationship , okay ? '' aidan 's mouth gaped open . `` you mean , she 's acting like ... a dude ? '' `` if you mean that she has pretty much refused to go to dinner with me or any other honorable event that a man and woman can partake in on a date , and instead , she would rather pursue a strictly physical relationship , then the answer is yes . '' `` my god , it 's like she 's turned into the old me , '' aidan muttered . he ran his hand over his face before he looked at pesh again . with a shrug , pesh replied , `` she 's still very young . i suppose in her eyes , she 's been deprived of fun the last two years . this is a way for her to make up for that . regardless if we agree or understand it . '' `` well , i still call bullshit on the whole thing . '' he gave pesh a long , hard stare . `` you have to keep trying , no matter what . '' `` i did n't say i was giving up , did i ? '' `` no , but i know from personal experience how hard it is to keep trying when it feels like you are n't winning . '' `` what occurred with you and emma is totally different than with megan and me . '' `` you still have to try . '' aidan hopped off the examining table and wobbled for a moment on unsteady legs . `` megan has been hurt before , and i do n't think she really knows what it is to be loved . not deeply where her needs were considered . hell , she was only twenty-three when she got knocked up . i want her to find someone who will cherish her , man . i want my girl cared for . '' he patted pesh 's shoulder . `` i think that someone could be you . ''

`` we 'll see . '' when aidan started to argue , pesh shook his head . `` time to see about your head . '' `` whatever , '' aidan mumbled . when pesh opened the door for aidan , emma and megan stared expectantly at them . `` so what 's the verdict ? '' `` i think he 's going to be just fine , but to be on the safe side , i 've ordered him a ct scan . '' emma 's eyes widened in fear . `` you think he has some brain injury from the fall ? '' she asked in a panicky voice . pesh smiled to try and put her at ease . `` i do n't think there 's anything wrong besides a slight bump on the head , but i want to make sure there is nothing wrong with him . '' `` okay then , '' emma replied . an orderly appeared with a wheelchair to escort aidan to his scan . before he sat down , aidan leaned over to kiss emma . `` i 'm fine , babe . stop worrying . it is n't good for you or the baby . '' she gave him a weak smile . `` i 'll try hard not to . '' he winked at her before collapsing down in the wheelchair . `` nothing can keep me down-you should know that by now . '' megan snorted . `` at least we know the bump did n't do anything to your ego . '' `` of course not , '' emma agreed . kristi poked her head out of one of the examining rooms . `` dr. nadeen , i need you . '' he nodded before turning to megan . `` why do n't you show emma to one of the family waiting rooms ? '' `` sure , '' megan replied . emma reached up to hug him . `` thanks for taking care of aidan . '' `` it was my pleasure . '' he gave them a final wave before disappearing into the waiting patient 's room . but after talking to aidan , he definitely had a little more determined bounce in his step . chapter nine two days later when megan came in for a later shift , she found the emergency room in a state of chaos . `` whoa , what happened ? '' she asked kristi , after she 'd clocked in and put away her things . kristi rolled her eyes . `` every month or so we seem to have a day where everything is madness from start to finish .

you can never anticipate it-you kinda just have to go with the flow . '' she grinned at megan . `` so get ready to be on your toes today . '' `` okay , sounds good . '' as they started working their way through patients , things continued to escalate into overwhelming territory for megan . kristi seemed to be experiencing the same feeling since the tops of her cheeks had a shine of perspiration beads on them . the moment they finished with one patient and disinfected the room , another patient was waiting to enter it . megan followed behind kristi as she went to poke her head in to the registration area . `` hey janet , could you not call anyone else back ? we 're getting swamped . '' janet shook her head . `` it 's just as crazy out in the waiting room . like we 're almost overflowing . '' `` fabulous . it 's probably another full moon , which makes things absolutely insane . '' she turned back to megan . `` listen , since we 're so swamped , can you take the man in exam b ? '' megan could n't help her eyes from widening . `` really ? on my own ? '' kristi smiled before patting megan 's hand . `` i 've seen you in action the last week . i have faith in you . '' `` okay , if you 're sure . '' `` i 'm positive . '' megan could n't contain her smile . taking her ipad , she flipped open the registration details on the patient awaiting her . when she pushed open the door , she eyed the man on the examining table . `` good evening mr. robertson , i 'm megan . what- '' before she could even get out the standard `` what seems to be the problem ? '' question , the man started shaking his head furiously . `` no , no . i wo n't let you examine me . i want a doctor . a male doctor . you understand ? '' `` sir , i understand , but i have to follow protocol , which is to ascertain your issues before the doctor comes in . i see on the chart that you 're experiencing some abdominal swelling ? '' he refused to meet her eye . instead , he gazed over at the wall before holding up one finger to her . `` i meant what i said . i demand to see a male doctor . '' `` yes , but we 're very backed up this afternoon . i 'm not sure how long it will be before you are able to see a doctor , least of all a male doctor . ''

when it appeared the man 's resolve was fading a little , megan took a tentative step forward . `` please , if you would just let me take a look at your abdomen . '' `` it is n't my stomach , '' he mumbled . `` then what is it ? '' when he did n't respond , she sighed with frustration . `` mr. robertson , you can not ignore abdominal swelling . it can stem from many issues and have many repercussions . '' he shifted uncomfortably on the table . just when she thought she was making headway with him , he threw his head back and began screaming at the top of his lungs . `` get me a male doctor ! '' megan rolled her eyes . the first time she had the chance to see a patient on her own , and he had to be a stark raving lunatic . refusing to give into him or accept defeat , she stalked over to him . she was going to exam his sexist ass if it was the last thing she did . `` keep screaming , and i 'll call security , '' she warned before snatching the sheet off him . his screams cut off to a shriek as he clawed for the sheet , but the damage was done . she had seen more than enough . `` oh . my . god , '' she murmured . she gazed wide-eyed and open-mouthed at what had to be the poster child picture to go along with the warning labels on viagra and cialis for four-hour erections . `` that 's going to have to be aspirated . '' he demanded . she cocked her head at him . `` the excessive blood in your penis ? '' `` it 's not just going to go away on its own . it has to be aspirated , which means drained out . '' mr. robertson swallowed hard . `` like with a needle ? '' `` yes , with a very large needle . '' when he started to protest , she brought her hand up . `` lucky for you , i can not do the procedure-it is to be handled strictly by a doctor . '' `` a male ? '' `` if it came to your penis exploding from the pressure by waiting for a male doctor , would you seriously be that picky ? '' his blue eyes widened in horror . `` yeah , i thought so . i 'll be back . '' when she whirled out of the room , she ran right into the last person she wanted to have to deal with at the moment . `` i 'm so sorry . are you all right ? ''

`` i 'm fine . '' he smiled down at her . `` doing some patient evaluations on your own ? that 's wonderful . '' `` um , well , yes and no . '' his brows knitted in concern . `` what 's wrong ? '' she could n't imagine telling pesh about mr. robertson 's condition . the last thing she was going to do was refer the case to him . draining an engorged penis should be left to the interns , not an attending physician . `` oh , it 's nothing . he 's just a little demanding . '' at that moment , the door to the exam room flew open . mr. robertson stood hunched over , his legs an almost painful distance apart . he took one look at pesh and his white coat , and he lunged at him . `` help me . please ! '' although it was strictly against the nursing code , she would have loved nothing more than to have throttled mr. robertson right then and there . pesh grasped mr. robertson 's hands on his coat and pulled them down . `` sir , you need to get back inside . as unsteady as you are , you certainly do not need to be on your feet . '' as pesh led mr. robertson back to the examining table , megan reluctantly followed them inside the room and closed the door . `` what seems to be the problem ? '' mr. robertson glanced from pesh to megan and then back to pesh . with a sheepish expression , he replied . `` um , i seem to be having some lower abdominal swelling . '' megan had to fight from rolling her eyes . she stepped between pesh and mr. robertson and looked pesh full on in the eye . `` while the patient refuses to acknowledge his condition , it appears after examination that he has an extreme priapism . '' at the word , color flooded into pesh 's tan cheeks , and he broke eye contact to momentarily stare down at the floor . his reaction was exactly what megan had feared she would experience in the moment . she had hardly imagined his level of professionalism would allow him to be embarrassed about a medical condition . but of course , their past interactions made anything of the sexual kind a little more mortifying than if she was dealing with one of the male interns .

it took pesh only a few seconds to recover , and then he immediately turned his attention to mr. robertson . `` did you take any erectile dysfunction medication in the last four to six hours ? '' when mr. robertson started to look at megan , pesh shook his head . `` my nurse will stay with me through the duration of your care . so i will repeat once again , did you take any medication ? '' `` cialis . '' `` how many milligrams ? '' when mr. robertson shrugged , pesh demanded , `` are you being purposefully evasive , or do you not know ? '' `` i do n't know , okay ? i got it off a buddy of mine . '' `` do you normally take medication that is n't prescribed to you ? '' `` i just wanted to try it out . '' pesh glanced over at megan . `` i 'm going to ask for a full blood work-up . who knows what else he might 've taken . '' megan nodded and punched in the code on the electronic chart to get a member of the phlebotomy team up to draw the blood . after going over to the dispenser , pesh slid a pair of rubber gloves on . `` i 'm going to have to examine you now . '' with a resigned huff , mr. robertson threw the sheet back . megan bit down on her lip to keep from laughing at the expression on pesh 's face . she was pretty sure he had n't had to deal with a lot of penises that resembled enormous eggplants in his career . of course , her amusement quickly faded when she realized how awkward it was being in the room with him while he held another man 's penis in his hand . she tried busying herself with the electronic chart in front of her . she wanted to do anything but look at the scene unfolding before her . once pesh finished that part of the exam , mr. robertson eased back down on the examining table , and pesh once again eyed the eggplant-colored penis . `` precisely how long have you had the erection ? '' `` five and a half hours . '' `` there does n't appear to be any artery rupture , so we wo n't need to perform surgery . i think the quickest form of treatment , as well as the least invasive , would be to try an injection to narrow the veins and reduce the blood flow to your penis . that should reduce the swelling . '' mr. robertson 's eyes narrowed suspiciously .

`` and where do you have to give me the shot ? '' `` in the penis , of course . '' with a gulp , mr. robertson replied , `` fine . do it . '' `` can you grab a syringe of alpha-agonist please ? '' she gladly retreated from the room to head to the medicine closet . after checking the syringe dosage , she reluctantly returned to mr. robertson 's room . `` thank you , '' pesh said , as he took the medication from her . she watched with mild disgust , as well as fascination , as he took mr. robertson 's penis in his hand . `` take a deep breath , '' he instructed . the moment the needle pricked the skin , mr. robertson howled uncontrollably . megan could n't help rolling her eyes at what a complete pansy he was being about the pain . once pesh finished , he dropped the empty syringe in the biohazard container and then glanced back at mr. robertson . `` if the swelling has n't begun to dissipate in the next ten to fifteen minutes , we 're going to have to take another course of action . '' `` what 's that ? '' mr. robertson questioned , with a grimace . `` aspirating the penis of the blood . '' mr. robertson paled considerably . `` oh god , she mentioned that . '' he said the word she like megan was a swarm of locust . pesh turned to smile at megan . `` then she made a good call . '' he then eyed his pager that was going off . `` keep an eye on him . i 'll be back in fifteen . '' `` okay , i will . '' time ticked by agonizingly slow as she worked on charts and kept an eye on mr. robertson . every few minutes , he was lifting up the sheet to eye his erection . each time he grimaced , megan imagined that the shot was n't working and the swelling had n't gone down . when pesh entered the room again , he glanced from her to mr. robertson . `` so how are we doing ? '' `` no change . '' he went over to a drawer and searched through it before producing a very large syringe with a very thick needle . `` i 'm sorry , mr. robertson , but it looks like this is our only choice . ''

mr. robertson seemed speechless for the first time all night . `` ms. mckenzie , can i get you to assist me ? '' `` i need you to help restrain him . i need him to be as still as possible . '' megan fought the urge to roll her eyes at his suggestion . mr. robertson had to outweigh her by a hundred pounds , not to mention that when pain got your adrenaline pumping , you were even stronger . but she did as she was told . as pesh brought the needle to mr. robertson 's penis , she gripped her hands tight into his shoulders . when the needle pierced the skin , it took everything within her to keep him on the table . gritting her teeth , she held her ground . finally , when the last of the blood had been withdrawn , she was able to loosen her grip . pesh tossed the syringe into the biohazard container and then turned around . `` i advise you take some ibuprofen for both the pain and for the anti-inflammatory benefits . i would also do a round or two of using an ice pack on your crotch . it would be my strongest advice that you never take anymore erectile dysfunction medication until you actually need it . '' `` whatever , '' mr. robertson croaked , collapsing back onto the table . `` give him about thirty minutes , and then he needs to head on home . we 'll need the exam room , '' pesh instructed . he gave her a quick smile before exiting the room . after thirty minutes , she saw mr. robertson to the door of the er . as he staggered into the waiting room , she shook her head . `` megan , '' kristi called . `` yes ? '' `` go ahead and take your dinner break now . '' `` are you sure ? i mean , i can work through it since we 're so busy . '' kristi shook her head . `` we 're fine . besides , you 're going to need all your strength . things are probably going to get even crazier after the sun goes down . '' megan tried not to appear horrified at the prospect . instead , she ducked into the break room to grab her purse . when she came out , pesh was waiting for her . `` where are you going ? '' `` oh , it 's my dinner break . '' pesh gave an impish smile . `` how fortunate . it 's mine as well . ''

realizing what he was intending , she slowly shook her head back and forth . `` no dates . '' after crossing his arms over his chest , pesh asked , `` and how would it be a date if we happened to go to the cafeteria at the same time and sit at the same table ? '' `` you 're pushing it , and you know it . '' `` after what we both just endured , how can you deny me the pleasure of buying your dinner ? '' a teasing twinkle flashed in his dark eyes-one she was n't used to seeing on him . for some reason , she found it completely irresistible . `` besides , how can i possibly have romance on my mind when i just held another man 's penis in my hands ? '' her eyes widened in shock at his words . `` d-did you actually just say that ? '' `` yes , i believe i did . '' `` i ca n't believe you sometimes . '' `` do n't try to pin me as one thing or the other . just take me as i am , '' pesh suggested . `` i 'll try . '' as they started to the elevator , megan chewed her lip with unease . turning to pesh she asked , `` what will people say if they see the two of us together ? '' `` that we 're two single people having dinner , '' he replied . `` you 're a physician , and i 'm a clinical student . could n't i get in trouble ? '' `` doctors and nurses often have dinner together on their breaks . the cafeteria is a pretty inconspicuous place for us to be alone together . if someone came upon us in one of the medicine rooms or an empty patient room , then we might have a problem . '' `` if you say so , '' she mumbled , as he punched the down button on the elevator . after they stepped on the car , pesh eyed her . `` you really are worried , are n't you ? '' `` my career means everything to me . i do n't want to do anything to jeopardize it . '' `` then i 'll make sure we do n't sit by ourselves . '' i really appreciate that . '' as the car started its decent down , pesh threw his head back and exhaled a long breath . `` well , that was ... '' megan grinned at him . `` the good doctor seems speechless . surely in all your years in the er , you 've seen crazier or more mortifying cases . '' he cocked his head , appearing thoughtful .

`` a screwdriver lodged in a rectum is probably the tamest . '' `` the tamest ? '' megan questioned incredulously , as the elevator door dinged open . pesh laughed . `` a man high on meth walking into the er with his penis in his hand is probably the craziest . '' megan 's hand swept over her mouth . `` he actually cut off his ... '' she gazed around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation . `` is the good nurse speechless ? '' he teased . she rolled her eyes at him . `` so what happened ? '' `` we got him sedated and into surgery as soon as we could . i heard they were able to sew it back on . i 'm not aware of whether or not it was ever ... fully functional again . '' `` that is crazy . '' `` i know . '' pesh handed her a food tray . as they surmised their choices , megan asked , `` was that your standard line of questioning in a situation like that ? '' `` i think we 've established that i have n't been privy to many priapism cases , but yes , any time there is an issue with the penis that is not related to the urethra or bladder , you would ask those questions . '' after the food service worker gave them both an odd look , pesh looked pointedly at her . `` why do you ask ? '' `` just to be prepared for the next time . '' `` do you want to practice your line of questioning ? you know , show me what you 've learned ? '' `` let 's get our food first , shall we ? '' after deciding that the grilled chicken salad was about the most appealing item in the food line , she grabbed a drink and some of the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies . just as she inched up to pay , pesh put his tray next to hers . he had chosen some kind of stir-fry that did n't look appetizing to megan . when she dug in her purse for her wallet , he handed a twenty to the cashier . as he took his change , she shot him a look . `` you buying my dinner does n't look very innocent , '' she hissed , as they started toward the tables . pesh shook his head with a smile . `` i highly doubt she 's keeping the gossip mill going on how dr. nadeen bought the lovely new clinical student a salad . '' `` you never know , '' megan countered .

trailing pesh , she watched as he made his way over to a table filled with doctors and nurses . while the bottom half was filled with people , the top was practically empty . `` mind if we take these seats ? '' `` go right ahead , nadeen , '' a bushy haired doctor replied . `` we 're expecting a few more to join us , '' he said , before covertly winking at megan . `` you play a good game , '' she said , softly . she 'd just finished drizzling dressing over her salad when pesh said , `` ready to prove yourself ? '' `` are we really going to talk about this while we eat ? '' `` you 'll learn that most lunches and dinners are spent either reviewing cases or getting input on cases . '' `` fine then . '' putting on a professional air , she asked , `` have you taken any erectile dysfunction medication ? '' after swallowing a bite of stir-fry , he replied , `` no , never . '' `` do you have trouble obtaining an erection ? '' the twinkle returned to his eyes . `` i would think you would n't need to ask that question after our previous encounter . '' a shiver went down her spine as she remembered her core rubbing against the hardened ridge in his pants . `` considering it is unlikely that i would have any previous knowledge of the patient , just answer the question . '' he gave her a sly smile . `` no , never . '' `` do you have trouble maintaining an erection ? '' `` i could once again point out that you had personal knowledge of how well i was able to maintain myself once aroused , but i 'll refrain . instead , i 'll say no . '' `` ha , ha , nice way to get your point in . '' `` i had to try . '' she cocked her head at him , giving him a teasing smile . `` if a patient was trying to flirt as much as you are during my questioning , then i would have to remind him that i am a professional . '' then forgive me for trying to undermine your professionalism . '' `` you 're forgiven ... for now . '' he took a long swig of his iced tea . `` you did really well back there . '' `` yes , you did . for that to be your first case on your own , you managed to keep yourself together and to give the patient the best level of diagnosis and care you could . '' she could n't help the warmth rushing to her cheeks that his compliments caused . i appreciate your confidence . '' `` i think you 're going to make an amazing nurse .

i know that there will be many hospitals vying to hire you . '' `` i do n't know about that . '' `` do n't underestimate your talents . '' `` you think they would want to hire me here ? '' his brows rose in surprise . `` you would n't mind a permanent placement here ? '' `` it has n't been long , but i have been happy here . i like the people i work with . i guess i would n't want to go into the unknown when i know what i have here . '' he swallowed a bite of his rice . `` that 's understandable . '' after wiping his mouth , he smiled at her . `` i think they would be crazy not to make you an offer . '' `` i hope so . '' leaning in over his plate , he held her gaze . the intensity in which he stared at her caused her to shudder . she did n't like the effect he was having on her in the middle of the hospital cafeteria . a mixture of emotions coursed through her-warmth , safety , lust , happiness . she had n't experienced that range of feelings with a man in a long , long time . finally , he spoke . `` i know it would make me very happy to have you here , and i would do everything within my power to ensure you stayed . '' before she could reply , a tray smacked down onto the table next to her . one of the residents , a young male named dr. morris , grinned at the two of them . `` so , i hear you two just handled a priapism case . '' `` yeah , we did , '' megan replied . she did n't dare look back at pesh to gage his expression on being interrupted . dr. morris groaned . `` oh come on . give me the juicy details . i have n't gotten to see one of those yet . the best groin swelling i 've had is when some idiot tried to pierce his balls , and they got infected . '' when megan wrinkled her nose , pesh 's laughter surprised her . her gaze flew to him , and he winked . `` i told you that the conversations we had over dinner were not exactly appetizing . '' `` i 'm starting to believe you , '' she replied , with a smile . somehow she managed to devour the rest of her salad while pesh told dr. morris the ins and outs of the case . after she finished , she rose out of her chair . `` i guess i better head back .

you know , with everything being so crazy . '' surprisingly , pesh did n't get up nor did he offer to walk her back . instead , she saw an acceptance on his face that told her he was letting her go so there would be no suspicion raised about the two of them . `` thank you for dinner , '' she said . `` you 're welcome , '' he replied , with a smile . his smiles were starting to do something to her that she did n't like . they were no longer igniting her panties on fire ; instead , they were making her long to spend time with him . she quickly slung her purse over her shoulder and strode out of the cafeteria . with the chaos surrounding her , she thankfully put pesh out of her mind for the rest of the evening . chapter ten after two exhausting weeks in her clinicals , megan was ready for a little randr . so she was thrilled when emma called her asking if she wanted to join her for a girl 's day . she was even more stoked when emma said that aidan was willing to keep mason , so he and noah could play together . even though she was sure her parents would have watched him , she hated imposing on them so much . an hour after the call , she was pulling into aidan and emma 's driveway . when she opened the backseat to get mason out , he was already bopping up and down in his car seat with excitement . he loved aidan and emma 's house , and he especially loved playing with noah , even though they were eleven months apart . she grabbed him and his diaper bag and then made her way up the front walk . emma answered the door with noah on her hip . `` hey , i 'm so excited you could make it . '' megan grinned . `` you should know by now i have no life except for mason and work . '' `` i feel the same way sometimes , '' emma replied , as megan stepped through the doorway . as she walked through the foyer and down the hall to the kitchen , mason squirmed to get down . once she set him on his feet , he ran into the living room . that 's where aidan was lounging on the couch with beau on the floor next to him . `` beau ! '' mason cried . he leaned in to hug the massive lab . megan never had to worry about beau and mason ; he was truly a gentle giant when it came to infants and kids .

beau thumped his tail heartily at the attention . aidan glanced up from the tv and smiled . `` hey , how are you ? '' she grinned as she reached down to kiss his cheek . `` good thanks . and you ? '' `` great . looking forward to having a man 's day with the boys . '' `` yeah , with two kids under two , let 's see how much fun you 'll have . '' aidan shrugged . `` it 's good practice for me when the new baby gets here . '' `` baby or babies ? '' she teased . with his eyes widening , he quickly replied , `` baby singular . that was confirmed , thank god . '' cocking her head , she teasingly asked , `` and when is the ultrasound to confirm the youngest fitzgerald granddaughter is on her way ? '' aidan huffed exasperatedly . `` not for a few more months , smart-ass . '' she brought her hand to her chest in mock outrage . `` it was just a question . '' `` yeah and considering you 've had a kid yourself , i 'm sure you know all too well at what month the gender ultrasound is . '' `` i just think it 's cool that i 'll be the oldest granddaughter , and she 'll be the youngest . '' with a pained expression , aidan groaned , `` whatever . '' she ruffled his still unkempt bed hair playfully . `` relax , ankle . you 're going to be an amazing father to that little girl . she 'll undoubtedly have you wrapped around her finger before she 's even out of the womb . '' `` a man like me , or i guess i should say , a man like i used to be , does not want to bring forth daughters into the world . '' `` payback is a bitch , '' she mused . `` do n't i know it , '' he grumbled . emma came into the living room then . she handed noah to aidan along with a bottle . `` you sure you 'll be all right today ? '' `` i 'll be fine-we 'll be fine . wo n't we mason ? '' mason glanced up from lumbering around the room on beau 's back . `` yeah ! '' `` see . stop worrying . '' he gave emma a very pointed look before adding , `` a promise is a promise after all . '' she flushed a little at his words , but then gave him a shy smile .

when he winked playfully at her , megan could n't help feeling her chest tighten at the exchange . seeing her once man-whore uncle now a loving , devoted husband and father was always surprisingly unnerving . but deep down , it was how much she truly wanted what aidan and emma had . love , companionship , and devotion within marriage while having someone else to parent with you . if you were n't so stubborn you could probably have something just like aidan and emma have with pesh ! but no , you have to keep believing that you 're too young to get married . you 're probably throwing away happiness with both hands just because you 're afraid . emma brought her out of her self-deprecating tirade . `` so what should we do first ? '' she asked , as they walked into the garage . `` nails and toes ? '' megan suggested . `` mmm , that sounds good . '' they both slid into emma 's suv . as megan buckled up , emma turned to her . `` i hope you do n't mind that casey is meeting us for lunch ? '' `` of course not . the more the merrier . besides , casey is a hoot . '' emma smiled and cranked up the car . `` that she is . '' before long , they were pulling into starbucks to grab some coffee for megan and tea for emma . then they walked around the corner to the nail salon . after relaxing manicures and pedicures , they drove about twenty minutes to meet casey at their favorite little local restaurant that was housed in an old train depot . as they walked up , they saw casey sitting outside in the sunshine texting . `` hey girl ! '' emma called . casey waved to them before rising off the bench . `` hello , hello . '' a round of hugs was exchanged between the three women . `` i thought you two would never get here . i 'm starving . '' they were a little behind at the nail salon . '' they pushed through the front door and were quickly seated by the hostess who knew them well . once they eased into a familiar , comfortable booth , they took stock of the menus . `` you have to order alcohol on our behalf since we 're both two knocked-up ladies now , '' casey insisted . `` i did n't know you were pregnant . '' casey grinned . `` yeah , nate finally wore me down . '' she then shook her head . `` sometimes i think he 's the chick in this relationship . ''

`` he must 've done some heavy convincing , '' megan said . with a nod , casey replied , `` he comes from such a large immediate and extended family that he 's been itching to have a child . we 've been married a year and together eight , so i guess it was just time . and while i was n't thrilled with the idea of having a baby when his internship was so crazy , his hours will be better by the time the baby gets here . '' `` when are you due ? '' `` around the same time as emma . '' that statement made emma beam . `` our babies are going to be best friends , too . i just know it . '' casey grinned at the sentiment . `` or boyfriend and girlfriend ... '' `` that 's a thought . '' emma jerked her chin up . `` i 'm not sure i want your son corrupting my little girl . '' with her dark eyes widening , casey huffed , `` and what if it 's my daughter that your son is corrupting ? '' emma giggled . `` if my son takes after his father , then that would be the case . but i think we also have to consider that if your daughter is anything like you , she 'll be the one doing the corrupting . '' `` guess i should keep mason clear of her too , huh ? '' megan asked , with a smile . `` probably , '' emma replied . after the waitress appeared to take their drink and food orders , casey pinned megan with an intense stare . `` so , '' she began , quirking her brow at megan . `` i hear your doing your clinicals under dr. mcdreamy bollywood . '' megan could n't help but laugh . `` if you mean i 'm doing them under dr. nadeen , then the answer is yes . '' emma nibbled on her bottom lip before speaking . `` have things been awkward considering what happened the night of noah 's baptism ? '' before megan could reply , casey 's eyes bulged . `` whoa , whoa . hold the phone . something happened between you two ? '' megan felt heat rising in her cheeks . it was almost too mortifying to repeat , but finally , she filled casey in on each and every embarrassing detail that had happened . `` man , he 's so freakin ' honorable , is n't he ? '' casey mused . `` yes , he is , '' megan replied , glumly .

`` there 's nothing wrong with his honor . it 's what attracted me to him in the first place . there are so few gentlemen left on the planet . '' before she could stop herself , megan blurted , `` but i did n't want a gentleman . i wanted to get laid . '' `` do n't we all ? '' `` just when i think your pregnancy hormones have n't made you even more sex crazed , you go and say something like that , '' she grumbled . megan twirled the straw in her diet coke thoughtfully . `` what 's bizarre is even though he should have been completely and totally turned off by what happened that night , he 's still interested in me . i mean , the man is gorgeous and has half of the women in the hospital panting over him , and he still wants me . '' `` then what 's the problem ? '' `` he 's interested in dating , not sex . '' emma 's brows furrowed . `` but would n't you have sex eventually if you were dating ? '' megan sighed . `` we 're at a stalemate-i just want straight sex without dinner and a movie , and to quote him , he wants to show me a whole new world through a date . '' `` how aladdin of him , '' casey quipped to which emma shot her an exasperated look . with a shrug , megan replied , `` basically we 're going to stay forever in the friend zone because neither one of us is willing to give in . '' `` would it really kill you to go out with the guy ? '' casey asked . megan widened her eyes in surprise . `` you mean , you of all people are actually advocating me giving in to him ? '' she jerked her thumb over at emma . `` i 'd expect that out of her but not you . '' casey dabbed the corners of her lips with her napkin . `` it 's just a date . i do n't think he 's going to drug you and drag you to a wedding chapel . '' `` i 'd certainly hope not . '' `` so what 's wrong with having an innocent dinner and maybe a movie ? '' `` because that 's not fair to him . i 'd just be leading him on , and i think we can all agree that he does n't need that . '' `` exactly , '' emma agreed . cocking her head , casey eyed megan thoughtfully .

`` deep down , you like him , do n't you ? '' `` of course i do . everyone likes him . '' `` no , you really like him . you find yourself thinking about him more than you should . and you 're kinda wishing you were n't such a stubborn ass about dating him . because even though you 'd kill to know how well he uses his wang , you 're even more intrigued about what being loved by him would be like . '' dumbfounded , megan could only stare at casey . she 'd certainly hit the nail on the head about her feelings . finally , she sighed . `` look , it 's a no-win situation . i 'm a nursing student . i ca n't get involved with a physician . it just would n't look good on my record . that 's just one of the many reasons it would n't work between us . '' you just keep telling yourself that . '' `` why do n't we talk about something else ? '' `` who 's up for a movie after we hit the mall ? '' megan chewed her lip . `` oh , i do n't know if i should be gone that long . i do n't want to take advantage of ankle 's kindness for watching mason . '' `` he wo n't mind . he 's happy to do it . '' as megan raised her brows skeptically , casey snorted . `` lem me guess , you bribed him sexually to get him to give up a perfectly good saturday watching two kids who are under two . '' a red flush entered emma 's cheeks . `` i do n't know what you 're talking about . '' `` oh em , you are so busted ! '' leaning forward , she put her elbows on the table and stared straight at emma . `` so what was it ? green lingerie ? a blow job ? maybe a b**w j*b while wearing green lingerie ? '' refusing to meet casey 's inquisitive gaze , emma finally murmured , `` it was a b**w j*b in the shower this morning , okay ? '' casey snickered . `` i knew you had done something . hmm , that was fun . it was like solving a sexual game of clue-it was emma in the shower with a blow job . '' megan brought her hands up to cover her eyes . `` umm , hello ? that 's my uncle you 're talking about . '' `` sorry , sorry .

i 'll refrain from making any more comments about aidan and emma 's sex life . '' `` thank you , '' megan and emma replied in unison . `` shopping and a movie then ? '' megan reluctantly agreed . `` i 'll just blame you two if ankle gets all pissy . '' casey winked . `` just blame emma . then he can take it out on her later ... in the bedroom . '' `` i seriously hate you , '' emma grumbled . thankfully , the food arrived then and all sex-based conversation was forgotten . at least for the moment . chapter eleven brushing his hand across his sweaty brow , pesh leaned back against the glass door of the trauma area . as the adrenaline began depleting from his system , he needed to prop against something hard for support . regardless of how physically drained he felt , he was emotionally on cloud nine . a beaming smile lit up his face as he stared across the room at the gurney . on it , a young woman was getting acquainted with her newborn son . she had been brought in just twenty minutes before after a car accident sent her into early labor . the paramedics had gotten her through the roughest patches , but thankfully , they had made it to the hospital in time . because her labor was so advanced , they had n't risked getting her up to the labor and delivery floor . instead , they 'd wheeled her in , and pesh had gone to work . it really was an amazing moment considering he 'd only delivered three other babies in the history of his medical career . each one was an experience he treasured . the woman glanced up at him and smiled . `` thank you so much , dr . `` you 're very welcome . they will be taking you up to maternity in just a few minutes . '' as he stepped out of the room , he found himself ambushed by kara , one of the shift nurses . `` hey there . how 's the good doctor doing today ? '' the way she spoke was more of a purr , which was a pretty apt summation since she basically acted like she was a cat in heat anytime he was around . he cringed as she ran her hand up his arm . `` it 's fine , thank you . how are you ? '' he questioned politely . `` i 'm better now that i 've seen you , '' she replied . `` yes , well , i need to go see about my next case . '' her heavily painted lips turned down in a pout .

`` are n't you ever going to want to get a drink again ? '' in a moment of weakness when he was still reeling after what had happened with megan , he had allowed her to talk him into getting a drink after work . once turned into several times , and then he did the unthinkable . he had made out with her in his car under the faded lights of the bar 's neon sign . well , making out did n't quite sum up the fact that she had given him a blow job . although he had vowed to never let anything like that happen again , he found himself walking a fine line around her whenever they were at work . maybe . things have been really busy . '' `` i hope that you 'll free up some time . i really , really need a night out with you again . '' reaching around him , kara did the unthinkable . she squeezed one of his ass cheeks . a gasp of shock behind him caused him to whirl around . of all the people in the world that could have been standing there , it had to be megan . pesh quickly jerked out from kara 's reach . megan 's eyes bulged at the two of them before she quickly looked away . with her head ducked , she started past them . the last thing in the world he needed was for something to be awkward between them . without another word to kara , pesh turned and fell in step beside megan . `` what are you doing ? '' he shrugged . just walking with you . is that a problem ? '' glancing over her shoulder at kara , megan said , `` it looked like you were a little busy back there . '' with a grimace , he said , `` the conversation and the contact were unwanted by me . '' megan stared up at him . `` why am i not surprised by that ? '' he eyed her curiously . `` just what do you mean ? '' `` you are not the type of man who does public displays of affection ... or i should say lust . '' `` have n't we already established that you should n't try to typecast me ? i do n't fit into any of the preconceived holes you have tried to put me in . '' `` there is one hole that you remain firmly lodged in , and that is being a gentleman when it comes to women and sex . '' as much as he hated to admit it , she had a point about him being a gentleman . he touched her arm , urging her to stop . `` yes , i am a gentleman both in public and private .

but let me address part of your assumption . when i am committed to a woman and she is committed to me , there is never a time i would reject public displays of affection or lust . '' megan 's lips curved up in a smile . `` so what you 're saying is you would actually grab your girlfriend 's ass in public ? '' `` yes , i would . '' glancing around , he found them happily out of anyone 's earshot . `` when i am truly committed to a woman , i have trouble keeping my hands off her regardless of where we are . '' `` that 's good to know , '' she replied , with a wink . he could n't help the silly grin that filled his face as she hurried down the hall to join up with kristi . he was making progress with her , was n't he ? surely megan had to be seeing how much she enjoyed spending time with him in the hospital and would soon decide that she wanted more . his smile started to fade as he wondered if he was deluding himself . with a resigned sigh , he made his way over to the reception bay to sign off on some charts . he eased down on a stool and immersed himself in the paperwork , so he did n't have to think about megan . `` alpesh ! '' a voice across the room shouted . he snapped his head up . without even looking over his shoulder , pesh knew who the voice belonged to . few people in his life addressed him by his full name , and no one in the hospital ever called him by his first name . slowly , he rose off his stool and turned around . his youngest brother , dev , stalked toward him with a stormy expression plastered on his face . as the oldest of his three siblings , he had always felt a responsibility to look out for his two brothers and sister . while arjan and shveta had never given him any trouble , dev , as the spoiled baby of the family , had been a challenge for both pesh and his parents . after experiencing teenage rebellion and a wayward early adult life , he had managed to get his wild ways under control when he was twenty-five . dev had set his sights on a beautiful nurse pesh had befriended when he was still a resident . mia martinelli had been through hell with an abusive boyfriend , so pesh was reluctant to pair the two together . but at dev 's continued insistence , pesh fixed the two of them up . what followed was a three-year courtship and then engagement .

mia was accepted and loved by all of pesh 's family . and then dev had gone and thrown it all away by cheating on mia . in her heartbreak , mia had stayed close to pesh , and he wanted her to be happy more than anything else in the world . pesh would have liked to have been surprised by his brother 's visit , but ever since he had been summoned to console mia a few days before , he had been anticipating it . truthfully , he had been bracing himself for his brother 's wrath . `` hello dev , '' he said , in a calm voice . shaking his head furiously , dev said , `` i just got a f**king blow off text from mia . when i tried calling her back to demand she explain herself , she could n't talk because she was in mexico . with aj . '' `` yes , i 'm aware of that . '' dev 's dark eyes narrowed at pesh 's confirmation . `` so it 's true that you went to talk to her ? '' `` yes , it is . '' `` i ca n't believe it . '' he threw up his hands in frustration . `` i did n't want to believe anything mia said , especially that it was you who helped her see that she should n't give me a second chance and take me back-that she should make things work with aj . '' `` it 's all true . you and i both know mia would never lie . '' `` but how could you ? '' dev demanded , in a strangled voice . `` i 'm sorry , but i had to do what was best for mia . '' dev 's brows shot up . `` and what about me ? i 'm your f**king blood . '' with a sigh , pesh replied , `` i 'm sorry , my brother , but blood or not , i could n't stand by and let you hurt her again-she 's been through too much . '' `` i love her ! '' dev shouted , which caused several of the nurses to spin around in shock . `` this is not the time nor the place to be having this discussion , '' pesh growled . `` i 'm not going anywhere , so you better start explaining yourself before i really start a scene . '' you want the truth ? here is it . you only think you love mia . you and i both know you can not be faithful to a woman . '' `` i could have for mia . '' `` you already failed her once .

she deserved better . '' dev narrowed his eyes . `` what , are you f**king her now ? '' he grimaced at his brother 's choice of harsh words . `` of course i 'm not . there 's never been anything amorous between mia and myself . thankfully , she 's back with the man she loves-the father of her unborn child . '' `` but i need her , '' dev insisted , his voice taking on a plaintive tone . `` i 'm sorry , but i think it 's best if you moved on . most of all , baby brother , i think you need to do a lot of soul searching and maturing before you even think about getting in another relationship . '' dev 's eyes widened . `` you ... you f**king bastard ! '' he shouted . pesh was debating calling security to remove his unruly brother when he was knocked off his stool by dev 's right hook to his jaw . he tumbled backward and crashed onto the floor . before dev could do something like kick him when he was down , megan appeared and wedged herself between them . `` i think you better leave before i call security , '' she demanded . pesh struggled to his feet as megan came into dev 's line of fire . he could n't bear if dev hurt her in his anger just because she had taken up for him . dev stared down at megan with a smirk . `` so my brother needs some pint-sized pu**y defending him now ? word to the wise , sweetheart , do n't waste your time on him . he 's only got a boner for his dead wife . '' a deep growl erupted in pesh 's throat as he lunged for his brother . but he never made it . instead , megan 's fist cracked into dev 's jaw . the impact did n't take him off his feet , but he did stagger backwards . even as she flailed her wrist back and forth from the obvious pain , megan still managed to bellow , `` get the hell out of here . now . '' dev stared at her in shock as he rubbed his jaw . `` crazy bitch , '' he muttered , before stalking off . when megan turned to him , her glowering expression faded to one of concern . `` you 're bleeding ! '' she cried , rushing for him . his hand came up to grip his cheek . surprise flooded him when he felt wetness . dev must 've hit him harder than he thought .

he slid his jaw back and forth , causing him to grimace at the popping sound . `` come here , '' megan said , grabbing his hand . she started leading him over to one of the examining rooms , but he jerked back . `` i do n't need all this fuss . '' `` we need to get you cleaned up . '' resignedly , he followed her into the room . for the first time in a long time , he found himself on the opposite line of care . he eased down onto the examining table . `` really , megan , this is n't necessary . '' as she busied herself taking out gauze , cotton balls , and antiseptic , she replied , `` quit your bitchin ' . '' she glanced over her shoulder at him . at what must have been his incredulous expression at her word choice , she grinned . `` that 's right . just shut up and let me take care of you . '' `` when you put it like that , how can i not ? '' her laughter warmed his heart . deep down , he was pleased to find her so attentive to him . she obviously really cared about him if she insisted on cleaning him up . or was she just attentive because she was a great nurse ? but then there was the fact she punched dev for insulting him . of course , that was also mortifying . did that mean she questioned his manhood since he did n't go toe-to-toe with his brother ? god , what she must think of him now . as he allowed megan to treat his cuts , his thoughts turned to dev 's last verbal punch . he grimaced about dev 's alluding to the fact he was in love with a ghost . was that what stopped megan from believing his attraction to her ? was she really hiding her commitment phobia behind a belief that he was still completely in love with his wife ? his feelings gave him away when megan asked , `` are you hurting ? '' `` no , i 'm fine . '' when she gave him a skeptical look , he replied , `` it 's more the fact that i 'm angry than i am physically hurt . '' `` so what exactly was all that about ? '' she asked , as she dabbed some antiseptic along his jawline . he winced when the medication hit the broken skin . `` my brother is angry with me . '' `` no shit . '' she held the cotton ball frozen as she eyed him curiously .

`` what i 'm wondering is what got him so fired up that he would stomp into a hospital , call you out , and then punch you ? you are the last person on earth i would imagine being in a fight . '' `` the reason is so cliche , '' he murmured . `` enlighten me , '' she urged . `` he 's a petulant child who did n't get his way-he 's lashing out at me because he thinks it 's all my fault . '' `` i heard the name mia . was it all about a woman ? '' `` yes , that 's why i called it cliche . '' he sucked in a harsh breath before filling megan in about what all had transpired between him , dev , and mia . `` wow , '' she murmured , when he finished . `` i suppose that is all one can say about the situation . '' `` you were awfully kind to take care of her like you did-i mean , with both her abusive ex-boyfriend and dev . '' `` what else was i supposed to do ? i cared for her , and i wanted to see her happy . '' at the look that flashed in megan 's eyes , he quickly added , `` there was no amorous love between us . i was happily married at the time , and she desperately needed someone to be strong for her . '' megan cupped his unhurt cheek in her hand . `` you really are the most decent man i 've ever known . '' `` i do n't know about that , '' he murmured . `` you truly are . '' `` no wonder women are so crazy about you . it 's one thing for you to be so good-looking and a smart doctor , but then when you add in the fact of how sweet , caring , and compassionate you are , it 's like you 're a triple threat . '' she turned to throw the cotton ball into the trash can . his heartbeat thrummed louder and louder at her words while he sat unblinking and unmoving . part of him wanted to rail at her for not seeing him like all the other women did . if she truly saw what others did , then she would want to date him , would n't she ? why could n't she see how good he could be for her ? when megan met his tense gaze , she jerked back and momentarily faltered by dropping the piece of gauze in her hand . she quickly deposited the soiled one in the trash and then got another one . `` so this mia chick , she 's run off with some drummer , huh ? ''

she asked , clearly trying to change the subject and lighten the mood in the room . `` not just any drummer . a famous one at that . '' what band ? '' pesh 's cocked his head as he tried remembering . `` something train . '' megan gasped . `` not runaway train ? '' he snapped his fingers . `` that 's it . '' clapping her hand to her chest , megan 's eyes widened . `` you know someone who knows aj resendiz ? '' `` i suppose i do if you consider that 's mia 's fiance . '' `` that is so wild . i love that band . '' `` i 'll see if i can get you an autograph . '' with a squeal , megan said , `` really ? that would be amazing . '' `` anything for the woman who is willing to risk her life for me . '' `` it was nothing . '' `` what about your hand ? '' `` i 'm not going to lie . it hurts . i kinda forgot what punching someone felt like . '' pesh could n't help his brows from rising in surprise . `` have you done a lot of fighting ? '' she grinned . `` not exactly mma material , am i ? '' when he merely shook his head , she replied , `` i may have thrown a few punches in my early college partying days when a guy overstepped his bounds . '' with a smile , pesh said , `` good for you . '' `` yeah , my dad was really big on teaching me self-defense moves . you know , with him being ex-military . '' pesh could n't help liking megan 's strength and spunk . he had n't known a lot of women like her . in his world , women were bred to be demure and obedient . even though jade was n't indian , she would 've never dreamed of throwing a punch to defend him against dev . but megan , she was so refreshing with her ability to stand up for herself and others-to voice her mind whether it was good or bad . `` you would have made your father very proud today . '' i 'm sure later on today when my knuckles are bruising , he 'll want to know why . '' `` i 'm very sorry . '' he took her hand in his before bringing it to his lips . `` here 's a kiss to make any bruises go away . '' she gave him a teasing smile . `` is that the best medicine you can do , dr .

his mind went wild with illicit images of all the `` medicine '' and `` healing '' he could give her . a chaste kiss to alleviate her pain was all he could really offer . his pager went off before he could reply . `` i better go . '' he hopped off the table and started for the door . as his hand hovered over the doorknob , there were so many things he wanted to say to her . but finally , he just said , `` thanks again for taking care of me . '' `` and you should probably ice your hand during your break tonight . '' `` yes sir , '' she replied , with a mock salute . he shook his head at her with a smile before heading out the door . chapter twelve days melted into weeks as megan immersed herself in her clinicals . every day she found a new challenge to conquer . she had n't imagined how hard it would be , or how exhausted she would be most nights when she crawled into bed . but it was a thrilling exhaustion because she was doing what she felt like she was called to do . each day , she spent more and more time with pesh . she loved working beside him on cases . he had the best bedside manner of all the residents and interns . patients , both young and old , adored him . and the more she was with him , the more megan began to adore him as well . she had just left an examining room where he had charmed a little boy into finally letting them run the tests they needed when kristi beckoned her from down the hall . after hustling to join kristi , megan was quickly ushered inside one of the trauma rooms . immediately , her entire body switched gears as she prepared herself for what she might face . `` female , thirty , car accident , '' the paramedic began before rattling off her vitals and other information . after megan had absorbed the information , she turned to the patient . `` hi , i 'm megan . i 'm going to get your iv started . '' the woman gave megan a weak smile . `` i 'm mary . '' `` i guess it would be wrong to say it 's nice to meet you , huh ? '' megan said , trying to talk as normally as she could to put the patient at ease . `` yeah , i guess so , '' mary replied . when megan reached for mary 's arm to find a place for the needle , mary winced . `` ouch . '' as megan surveyed the forearm , she shook her head .

`` looks like you 've got a break there . '' `` my arm is broken ? '' mary asked in a panic . `` we wo n't know until we get you into x-ray . i 'm going to try this vein here in your wrist . '' the needle slipped easily into the vein , and megan started the iv . pesh appeared in the doorway then . he smiled at mary on the gurney . `` hello , mary , i 'm dr. nadeen . i understand you had a little accident today ? '' `` this car came out of nowhere and hit me head on . '' why do n't we start by you telling me where it hurts ? '' `` my chest , '' she said , with a grimace . pesh pulled back the hospital gown . `` were you wearing your seat belt ? '' `` yes , i always do . '' `` from the dust in your hair , can i assume the airbag deployed ? '' `` yeah , it did . '' `` is this where it hurts ? '' he asked , running his fingers down an angry red whelp . it started at her neck and crossed over her chest . some of it was hidden by the many leads coming from the heart monitor . `` it looks like the seat belt and the airbag did a number on you . '' mary winced . `` i thought they were supposed to help you , not hurt you . '' `` trust me . you 're much better off with a little burn than if you had n't been wearing it . '' after eyeing the monitors mary was hooked up to , he turned to megan . `` blood pressure is low . let 's administer some blood products to raise it . '' after checking mary 's chart for her blood type , she grabbed a bag of blood from the coolers . trading places with pesh , she started another iv in the crook of mary 's right elbow . `` besides your chest , are you hurting anywhere else ? '' pesh asked , after he finished listening to her heart and lungs . `` my stomach . '' megan 's breath hitched . it was never good for a car accident patient to have stomach pains . that usually meant hemorrhaging , which could also attribute the low blood pressure . pressing on mary 's abdomen , pesh asked , `` does this hurt ? '' `` no . '' `` here ? '' `` what about here ? '' a screech came from the bed . pesh 's brows drew with worry .

`` i 'm going to do a quick ultrasound , mary . i want to see what 's causing the pain . '' megan pulled the machine over to the bedside . she squirted the jelly onto mary 's stomach , and then pesh began running the wand over the skin . `` i 'm feeling a little dizzy , too , '' mary said , in a low voice . pesh and megan exchanged a quick look before he shoved the ultrasound machine back . turning to kristi , he said , `` call the or . she 's got a ruptured spleen . '' after depressing the break on the gurney , pesh swung it out of the trauma room and started down the hall . `` go with him , '' kristi instructed , as she held onto the phone . megan jogged down the hall to catch up with pesh . he smacked the buttons on the elevator before glancing down at mary . `` stay with me , okay ? we 're going to get you into surgery , and then you 'll be good as new . '' without hesitation , pesh replied , `` yes , but you have to stay with me . '' the elevator 's doors slid open . as megan helped pesh push the gurney inside , mary asked , `` did you turn on more lights ? '' megan creased her brows in worry as she glanced over to pesh . `` we 're getting in the elevator to take you to the or for surgery , '' she replied . `` but it 's so bright , '' mary whispered before closing her eyes . her head lolled to the side just as the alarms on the monitors began screeching in megan 's ears . `` dammit , she 's crashing ! '' pesh cried . ice-cold fear pricked its way from the top of megan 's head all the way down her body . a patient was crashing in the elevator without the crash cart . what the hell were they supposed to do ? `` lower the gurney , '' pesh ordered . megan 's jerky hands fumbled with the lever . once it was flat , pesh brought his hands to mary 's chest and began compressions . without having to be told , megan leaned down , pinched mary 's nose , and began breathing into her mouth . they worked in perfect synchronization . `` stay with me , mary ! ''

pesh barked , as his hands pumped in a manic pace up and down on mary 's chest . glancing up from her breathing , megan eyed the monitors . `` no pulse . '' when pesh did n't respond , she continued doing breathing cycles . at the taste of something warm meeting her lips , she jerked back . blood oozed out of mary 's mouth . `` there 's more damage than the spleen . she 's bleeding from the mouth . '' pesh did n't even acknowledge her comment . `` the seat belt and airbag could have caused an aortic tear as well . there 's nothing we can do . '' instead , he kept right on with his compressions . the elevator doors opened , and megan met the expectant faces of the surgical team . when one doctor stepped forward , she shook her head . `` she 's gone . '' pesh growled across from her . `` no , she is n't . we have to keep trying . get a cart in here . '' the doctor eyed the stats on the monitors . `` i do n't think it will help . '' jerking his head up from mary , pesh snarled , `` get the f**king cart ! '' as one of the nurses scrambled away , two others pulled the gurney from the elevator . megan stood back , feeling helpless as to what to do . once the cart arrived , pesh ripped open mary 's gown . `` charging 260 joules . '' he rubbed the paddles together . `` clear ! '' mary 's chest jolted off the gurney with the force of the electricity . megan did n't need to look at the monitors . the heart stayed in a flat line . `` charging 360 joules . '' megan closed her eyes when pesh administered the second shock . `` dammit , jade , do n't do this ! try for me ! '' megan could n't hold back the gasp that escaped her at pesh calling mary by his late wife 's name . before pesh could do another charge , one of the surgeon 's stepped forward . after he removed his mask , he put his hand on pesh 's back . `` calling time of death . '' defeated , pesh dropped his head . slowly , he eased back from the gurney . a nurse took the paddles from him and put them back on the cart . `` i 'll go notify the family , '' pesh murmured .

the surgeon shook his head and stared pointedly at megan . `` get a resident to do that . nadeen , you go take a breather , buddy . '' `` they deserve to speak to the doctor who was with her when she died . '' `` you do n't need to do this . '' pesh slung away from the surgeon and started for the elevator . megan knew there was no point in arguing with him or trying to get one of the residents to take his place . she did n't know if she should try to go to him or not . she regretted her decision when he turned to face her in the elevator . his expression was agonizingly broken . as the doors closed , her heart ached for him . she knew any doctor hated to lose a patient , especially a young one , but this went far deeper than that . from his behavior , megan knew that mary 's death had exposed a raw nerve in pesh-one that after two years still had n't healed . somehow he had seen his wife in mary , and once again , he was n't able to save her . after she had escorted mary 's body back upstairs to wait on the funeral home , megan went in search of pesh . she could n't find him in any of the exam rooms , nor was he in the doctors ' lounge or break room . finally , she went to kristi for answers . `` did you see where dr. nadeen went ? '' kristi gave her a sad smile . `` you 'll probably find him on the roof . '' megan 's brows shot up in surprise . `` the roof ? '' kristi nodded . `` whenever he has a really bad day about his wife- '' she sucked in a breath when she realized she might have said too much . at the thought of pesh 's grief , megan 's chest tightened in agony . he was too good of a man to have to suffer like he did . `` so he goes up to the roof ? '' megan finished for kristi . `` he likes to be alone to clear his head . although none of us would say anything , he usually ends up pulling another shift to make up for the time he was gone . '' of course pesh would do something like that . he was honorable every moment of his life , even after those of immense grief . even though she knew he probably wanted and needed to be alone , megan wanted to check on him .

she could n't bear the thoughts of him suffering so much . `` um , if it 's okay , i think i 'll go ahead and take my dinner break . '' kristi gave her a knowing look before nodding . `` sure , honey . go right ahead . '' megan smiled before brushing past kristi . she bypassed the break room where her purse was . instead , she kept going . after a brisk walk down the hall , she got to the authorized personnel only stairwell . she did n't dare use the elevator shaft where trauma patients were brought in from being airlifted . without hesitation , megan swiped her access card . when the lock clicked , she flung the door open and started up the flights of stairs . she was winded when she reached the top . cautiously , her hand hovered over the doorknob . she could n't help wondering what she might find on the other side . would pesh be an emotional mess ? would he be angry that she had interrupted his private grieving ? shaking the thoughts from her head , she flung open the door . as she stepped onto the roof , the air grew cooler . a breeze rippled her scrubs . her gaze spun around frantically until she found him . pesh stood at the edge of the roof . his usual ramrod straight posture was slumped , his broad shoulders drawn in . although she could n't see his face , his gaze seemed fixed straight ahead into the night sky . to add insult to injury , clouds blotted out the stars , cloaking everything in darkness . tentatively , she started over to him . `` hey , '' she said softly . he whirled around in surprise . her heart clenched at the sight of the tears sparkling in his eyes . even in the darkness , she could see a blood-red flush entering his cheeks . his hands quickly came up to swipe away the moisture from his eyes . `` hello , '' he finally replied in a hoarse whisper . they stood in an awkward silence , staring each other down . finally , megan took a step forward to close the gap between them . `` how did you know i was up here ? '' `` kristi told me . '' `` hmm . '' unable to stop herself , she reached out to touch his arm . `` i 'm so sorry , pesh . '' `` it is n't necessary . '' `` yes , it is . you 're in pain ... you 've been in pain . i ca n't help but feel sorry for what you 're going through . ''

his usually warm eyes took on a cold look . `` you were in that elevator , too . you have every right to be emotional . maybe you should be more concerned with why you are n't weeping . '' `` do n't , '' she murmured . `` do n't what ? '' `` do n't try to mask your pain by being someone you 're not or by pointing fingers at others . that is n't you , and you ca n't fool me . '' with a ragged sigh , pesh jerked his hand through his dark , wavy hair . that was completely uncalled for . '' `` it 's okay . '' `` no , it's- '' she silenced him by bringing her hand up to cover his lips . when she pulled her hand away , he sighed . `` talk to me , '' megan pleaded . the clouds above them opened up , causing a slight drizzle to fall . `` the death of a patient is never easy . any doctor of worth , or nurse for that matter , must possess compassion . then it is inevitable that the same compassion you possess will come back to haunt you-it may even cripple you . when death comes , you ca n't help feeling for the life that has been lost and for the family members left behind . '' his voice choked off , and megan drew herself even closer to him . she knew that his last statement held personal meaning for him . `` what exactly happened to your wife ? '' she questioned softly . pesh 's eyes closed . `` jade had an undiagnosed clotting condition . she was adopted , so she did n't know anything really about her family history . she 'd always been in perfect health-she rarely even went to the doctor with the sniffles . and after we 'd been married for three years , we decided it was time to have a baby . '' when pesh remained silent , megan tentatively asked , `` did she die in childbirth ? '' `` no , we never got that far . we tried for over a year to get pregnant on our own , and it did n't happen . so we were recommended to a fertility clinic . once the iui process did n't work , we started ivf . '' a ragged sigh came from deep in his chest . `` the whole process was physically trying and then emotionally gutting for both of us , but especially for jade . '' he met her gaze . `` she blamed herself since the testing revealed that everything was fine with me .

although we were labeled as 'non-specific infertility , ' she felt that it was all her fault . '' `` bless her heart , '' megan murmured , as her heart went out to a woman she 'd never met . getting pregnant had been so easy for her . although mason was n't necessarily expected , he had never been unwanted in her eyes . but she knew what infertility did to a woman when she saw it ravage her father 's sister . although her aunt was now the happy and doting mother of two adopted girls , she knew the emotional toil not getting pregnant had taken . megan , herself , had once been the recipient of her aunt 's childless pain when she had announced her pregnancy with mason . still without answers as to how jade had died , megan pressed pesh for more . `` so what happened with the ivf ? '' `` she got pregnant on the first transfer only to miscarry three weeks later . we had just been through another transfer when she died . '' pesh 's adam 's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard . megan could only imagine he was trying to keep his emotions in check . finally , he spoke again . `` she had an embolism most likely brought on by the fertility medication . i was in the kitchen making breakfast when i heard a crash in the bedroom . '' tears pooled in his eyes . `` when i called her name and she did n't answer , i ran back to her . she was crumpled on the bedroom floor . after calling 911 , i did cpr over and over again , but i could never revive her . '' `` oh pesh , '' megan murmured . the weight of his pain was so heavy that even she found it hard to breathe . without looking at her , he continued staring straight ahead . `` from what the medical examiner said , i have some peace in knowing she did n't suffer-that she went quickly without any fear or pain . one minute she was getting ready for work , and the next she was gone . '' `` it 's true that there is some peace , especially the fact she did n't know she was going to die . sometimes i ca n't imagine what it must be like for terminal patients . '' she shuddered . `` when you wonder if every day is your last , when you have to think about all you 're going to miss . '' `` yes , that is true , '' he said , in a hushed whisper . when he finally turned to look at her , he gave her a sad smile .

`` it 's been two years . every time i think i 've moved on , that i 've been able to compartmentalize my grief , a case comes through that brings me to my knees . '' `` i 'm so sorry , '' megan murmured , bringing her hand up to cup his cheek . he leaned his face into her hand . his head bowed until their foreheads met . `` you have to remember that no matter what happened to your wife , and to mary , it was n't your fault . you were n't responsible . you need to keep living . you 're alive . '' tilting her head up , she gazed into his dark brown eyes . `` you 're alive , '' she repeated . the rain began to fall harder . her eyelids fluttered to keep the moisture out of her eyes as she gazed up at him . his mouth hovered next to hers , his breath warming her cheek . she could barely breathe in that moment . it was like every molecule in her body was pulsing with need . silently , she pleaded with her eyes for him to kiss her . and then , after what felt like an eternity , he slid his lips over hers . it was n't the first time she had kissed him-it was just the first time she was sober and had kissed him . now her senses were heightened , and she could experience exactly what she was feeling . his lips were tender and soft at first , and then they switched over to desperate and demanding . it was like he was breathing her in with every brush of his lips and stroke of his tongue as if to prove to himself that he truly was alive . his tongue danced along hers , causing her to moan . he brought his hands up to cup her face while her arms went around his chest , pulling him closer to her . drops of rain pelted her head and ran down her cheeks while pesh 's white coat grew moist as she ran her hands up and down his back . she realized , in a dizzying flurry , that no man had ever kissed her like this before . this was like lovemaking with their mouths , and she never wanted it to end . when pesh finally tore his lips from hers , megan 's breaths came in heaving pants . her eyes opened to stare up at him . his expression turned from lust to anguish . `` i 'm sorry . '' `` pesh , you don't- '' he held up his hand . `` please , just go . '' he turned away from her , wrapping his arms around his chest .

torn , megan did n't know if she should argue with him and stay or leave . `` please , '' he whispered . with her heart still beating wildly from their passionate lip-lock , she turned and fled . as she pounded back down the stairs , her emotions yo-yoed to where she felt like a watch that had been wound too tight . after bursting back through the door , kristi met her in the hallway . her eyes widened at megan 's appearance . `` i , uh , i went outside on my dinner break , and it started raining , '' megan lied . `` next time you 'll have to remember your umbrella , '' kristi replied . `` yeah , i will . '' `` why do n't you go to the break room ? there 's a hair dryer under the sink . when you finish drying off , i could really use you in the supply closet doing inventory . seems like we always almost run out of everything at once . '' i can do that . '' as megan turned to go down the hallway , kristi reached out and grabbed her arm . `` is he okay ? '' megan bit down on her lip to keep a hysterical laugh from escaping . was pesh okay ? was she okay ? who the hell knew ? one minute he 'd been weeping about his wife and losing a patient , and the next he 'd been liquid passion dripping on her lips . regardless of his emotional whiplash , she 'd experienced the same . she now found herself wanting more of his kisses when she should n't . but it was n't just the kiss she wanted-she wanted all of him and not just for sex . `` no , he 's not . i guess he 's just trying to accept the loss , both past and present , as best he can , '' she finally replied . kristi nodded in acknowledgement . when megan felt she was free from any more questioning , she hurried down the hall to the break room . thankfully , she found it empty . after grabbing a brush from her purse , she went to the sink to grab the hair dryer . gazing at her reflection in the mirror , she looked a bedraggled mess . she was practically washed out except for her lips . they were swollen and bright red from pesh 's kisses . her finger came up to trace her bottom lip . as memories of his kisses filled her mind , she tried desperately to think of anything else .

in the end , she had gone up to the roof to somehow save pesh , and instead , she had lost herself to him and his emotions . chapter thirteen pesh regretfully watched megan 's retreating form . he cursed under his breath as she disappeared into the stairwell . what was his problem ? the woman had been merely comforting him , and he had allowed his libido to take over . he had promised her he would keep his distance . regardless of the flirting and easy banter between them , he had kept things professional . now she probably felt trapped and harassed by him . she tried to talk to him about it , and he 'd dismissed her . he paced around the rooftop as the rain that had soaked him to the bone began to dissipate . his mind was a jangled mess of thoughts and emotions . one voice argued over and over that megan had wanted him to kiss her-that the look in her eyes told the truth . but pesh worried that in his agony he had misread the signals she may or may not have been giving . in the end , he 'd made a terrible situation even worse by not being able to control his feelings for megan . with a frustrated grunt , he realized he had to make things right with her . he needed to apologize . casting one last look out over the horizon , he then turned and started for the stairwell . after pounding downstairs , he searched the hallway for any signs of megan . when he spotted kristi , he was surprised not to see megan with her . `` where 's megan ? '' `` oh , since we 're kinda slow tonight , i asked her to go work in the storage closet . we 're behind on inventory and cataloguing . '' kristi eyed him up and down before shaking her head . `` you 're drenched . '' `` it 's raining outside . '' `` so i 've heard , '' she said knowingly . `` what does that mean ? '' she waved her hand . why do n't you do us both a favor and go get out of those wet clothes ? the last thing we need is you coming down with something . '' pesh knew it was fruitless to argue with her . instead , he tucked his tail between his legs and made his way to the doctors ' lounge . he took a clean pair of pants and shirt out of his locker . after he slid on a new white coat , he strode down the hall to the medicine closet . after swiping his key card , he entered the room . when he closed the door behind him , megan turned around , gazing expectantly at him .

now that he was in front of her , he did n't know exactly what to say . he had been on an emotional overload on the roof , and things had escalated far too quickly . `` look , i just want to say how very sorry i am about kissing you . '' `` well i 'm not , '' she replied matter-of-factly . pesh 's neck snapped back in shock . her response was n't what he was expecting at all . he had imagined she might be relieved or even embarrassed , but he had n't imagined that she would be unregretful . he cleared his throat . `` regardless , i should n't have done it . i was in an emotionally vulnerable position , and you were merely trying to comfort me . nothing more . '' his words were more for his own good than hers . `` just because i was comforting you , does n't mean i did n't want you to kiss me . that i still do n't want to kiss you again . '' his brows furrowed in confusion . `` but you- '' `` pesh , i 've wanted you since the night of noah 's baptism . but you shot me down then , and you still do . '' although his heart wanted to soar at her admission of wanting him , the reality of her words caused his chest to clench instead . `` sexually . you only want me sexually . '' he should have been flattered that a young , sexy woman like megan desired him . but he was n't . half of the women in the hospital would be willing for him to drag them to an empty patient 's room for a quick and dirty screw . but that 's not who he was . he had never been that way with women , and he did n't see how it could be possible to change . all he wanted was for her to really see him and how good he could be for her . how good they would be for each other . he thought that was what she was feeling in the moments before and after he kissed her . but now it seemed it was once again only lust . although it was probably pointless , he could n't help putting everything out there once again . `` but when we were up on the roof , there was n't a moment where you wanted more from me than just sex ? '' he licked his lips and took a step toward her . `` just a second where you could imagine your life with me in it ? '' megan stared at him , her expression contemplative .

for a brief moment , pesh thought by her hesitation that she had changed her mind about him . but then she shook her head . `` how many times are you going to make me hurt you with this ? you 're too good for me , pesh . we both know that . i 'll remind you again of some of the reasons i 'm not the one for you . i 'm twenty-five , and you 're thirty-seven . you want a wife , and i 'm not ready to be married . '' her words cut into his chest the same as if she had taken a sharp blade to him . she may have had to repeat herself this time , but he realized the finality of her words . and then an idea hit him so hard that he shuddered-a true light bulb moment and epiphany . there was only one way he was going to get to have his sweet megan , and that was if he gave in to her . he would have to become someone else for her , even if it was just for a little while . he could distract her with sex that she both desired and demanded , but at the same time , he would make her fall in love with him . it could work . it had to . cocking his head at her , he questioned , `` so let me get this straight once and for all . you would let me ... '' he paused , fighting the conflict within himself to say what he needed to . he drew in a ragged breath . `` you would let me f**k you but not love you ? '' her eyes widened at his word choice . `` what 's gotten into you ? '' he shrugged nonchalantly , feeling slightly empowered in the dr. jekyll and mr. hyde moment . `` i merely asked a simple question . '' she snorted exasperatedly . `` yeah , about ... '' she swallowed hard . `` fucking , of all things . '' megan shook her head wildly back and forth . `` i can barely acknowledge hearing you say the word , least of all you doing that . '' `` you ca n't imagine me- '' she held up her hand . `` you 're not the type of man to f**k , '' she countered . crossing his arms over his chest , he countered , `` oh really ? i 'm too nice of a guy ? '' `` something like that . '' `` i am a man , megan . we all have needs . is n't f**king one of them ? '' her body trembled slightly at his words .

she licked her lips before replying , `` s-stop saying that word-it is n't you . '' `` so , f**king is n't me ? do n't tell me you think i 'm totally asexual-that you ca n't imagine me f**king a woman ... fucking you . '' he eased in closer to her . `` we both know for a fact that you wanted nothing more than to f**k me the night of noah 's baptism . given the chance right now , you 'd let me strip off your scrubs and f**k you up against the medicine cabinet . '' as her chest heaved up and down , she took a step back from him , bumping against the counter . `` but you do n't say things like that . you 're refined . you 're a gentleman , '' she whispered . `` it may have been a while , but even a gentleman like me enjoys f**king . '' she whispered . `` i 'm giving you what you want . '' `` you 're giving in ? '' `` yeah , why not ? '' as he dipped his head , his mouth hovered over hers . `` if you really want me to take you , then kiss me . '' without a moment 's hesitation , megan crashed her lips against his . the kiss was hard and desperately seeking more . as his tongue thrust into her mouth , his hand came to her breast . tenderly , he cupped the flesh , feeling the weight fill his hand . unsatisfied with the lack of contact , he pulled his hand away and slid it underneath megan 's top . over her bra , he kneaded her breast again , feeling her nipple harden under his touch . he felt his erection grow at the sound of her whimper . he wanted nothing more than to strip off all her clothes and kiss every inch of her body . megan 's mouth popped off of his , and she stared up at him with hooded eyes . `` what about someone finding us ? '' `` i 'll lock the door , '' he replied . reluctantly , he pulled away from her to walk back over to the door . after he turned the lock , he made sure to push a box in front of it as well . they would have enough warning if someone were to try to use their card to come in . with his hands on her shoulders , he steered her behind one of the floor-to-ceiling shelves , concealing them even further from potential prying eyes . `` now where were we ? '' he asked , with a smile .

she grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck . `` i think you were getting acquainted with second base . '' `` yes , i remember now . '' instead of his hands going back to her br**sts , he pulled her flush against him . as his lips met hers , he slipped his arms around her waist . he grabbed the globes of her ass and squeezed , causing megan to moan into his mouth . his hands gripped her flesh , urging her upward . rising on her tiptoes , she allowed him to hoist her up . her legs wrapped around his waist . once he had secured her to him , he rammed them back , until they bumped into the wall . he ground his pelvis into her core , letting her feel how much he truly wanted her . `` mmm , '' she murmured , as he continued rubbing against her . one of her hands abandoned his shoulder and slid down his back to squeeze his ass . his fingers jerked her hair back , pulling her lips back from his . he gazed into her heavy lidded eyes before his mouth dipped to her neck . his tongue slid up her jugular , feeling her racing pulse . `` so you 'll let me inside your body but not your heart ? '' please pesh . '' now that he had her right where he wanted her , it was time to put his plan into motion . `` if i give you an orgasm , you 'll have to go on a date with me . '' her eyes widened through her panting . `` oh , but i am . give and take , megan . i give you what you want- '' he paused in his thrusts to let his fingers dip into the waist band of her scrubs . through the thin scrap of her thong , his hand caressed her , causing her to whimper . `` which is to explode in bliss . '' as he continued stroking her , she hissed in a breath as she glared at him . `` you want me pretty bad , do n't you , megan ? '' he asked , as his fingertips felt of her growing moisture . her fingernails dug into his shoulders . god , yes , i do . '' `` so let me give you this pleasure . i want nothing more than to see you come apart . '' he licked his lips . `` then you 'll let me take you out . '' her eyelids fluttered , and she bit down on her lip . he could tell she was internally raging war with herself about what to do .

as his fingers sped up their tempo against her clit , her head fell back against the wall . `` you do n't play fair , '' she groaned . he momentarily eased his hand off of her . `` i do n't want to play games with you at all , but you leave me no choice . '' he lowered his head to kiss her again . `` all i want is you , '' he murmured . `` fine , fine . '' `` fine what ? '' he questioned , as he looked her in the eye . `` make me come , and i 'll go out on a date with you . '' he smiled before easing her back onto her feet . when he sank to his knees before her , megan 's brows furrowed in confusion . he then gripped the waistband of her scrubs . he eased them down , along with her panties , never taking his eyes off hers . when he had them down to her ankles , he rose back up . grabbing her by the waist , he shifted her to the side where she bumped into the counter . he gripped her h*ps once again and raised her up to where her butt rested on the cool formica . he slid her pants and thong over her shoes , letting the drop into floor below him . he was so far gone with desire that he did n't stop to think how long it had been since he had gone down on a woman . he pushed the voices out of his head when they reminded him of how jade had teasingly called his tongue a master of orgasms . instead , he focused on the beautiful , panting woman before him as she widened her legs invitingly for him . when he slid his tongue slowly up megan 's wet slit , they both shuddered . he took one of her legs and propped her foot on his shoulder , so he could get better access to her while he pushed her other thigh further open . her pink , glistening center was laid out beautifully before him . as his tongue flicked and teased her swollen clit , megan threw her head back and moaned . his lips closed over her clit , sucking it hard . her h*ps began to rock back and forth . he knew it was n't going to take him long to make her come-she was too ready for this . it had been a long time for her as well . he resisted using his fingers . instead , he spread her apart and then thrust his tongue rhythmically inside her . megan 's cries grew louder to where he brought his hand up and clamped it over her lips .

the last thing they needed was someone banging on the door . as he felt her walls tensing , she reached out to twist her fingers in his hair . he welcomed the pain as she went over the edge , convulsing and screaming against his hand . when megan 's walls finishing clenching and pulsing , pesh removed his tongue from inside her . he placed butterfly kisses against her core and then on the insides of her thighs . when he finally glanced up , he found megan staring at him , a combustive mix of emotions swirling in her blue eyes . `` that was ... '' smiling , he rose up from the floor . his hands gently came to her waist . he was just about to pull her down when she stopped him . `` do n't . i ca n't even feel my legs right now . '' he brushed her hair back from her face . `` it has been a long time , has n't it ? '' `` how about never has it been like that . '' he could n't help staring at her incredulously . `` i mean , that i 've never gotten off like that . '' she gave him a sheepish grin . `` at least not with a man . '' at her insinuation , he felt warmth enter his face . `` are you blushing about me mentioning masturbating ? '' `` no , i 'm not , '' he protested feebly . `` you really are something else , you know that ? '' `` i am ? '' `` hell yes . one minute you 've got your tongue buried inside me , giving me the most intense orgasm of my life , and then the next you 're blushing . it 's like you became another person a few minutes ago . you were forceful and domineering . '' a shudder rippled through her as she raised her brows . `` do you always get like that when it comes to sex ? '' pesh felt even more warmth creeping into his cheeks . how she could talk so frankly without any pants on , he had no idea . `` we should cover you up . '' `` you were enjoying the view a few minutes ago . '' she leaned over and winked at him . `` a very up-close and personal view . '' he rubbed his hands over his face . `` honestly , i do n't know what came over me . i came in here to tell you i was sorry and that you would n't have to worry about me coming on to you again . '' and then all hell had broken loose .

it was like he had been fried with the electrical current from the paddles on the crash cart . he 'd decided to become another person to win her and damned if he had . almost too easily for his liking . what had he said to her in the heat of the moment ? he stared intently at her . `` all i could think of was how much i wanted you and what it would take to have you . '' `` you really wanted me that much ? '' she asked , her brows rising in surprise . `` yes , i did . '' with a coy smile , she scooted to the edge of the counter . she wrapped her legs around his waist and drew him closer to her . `` what about you ? '' she asked , as her hand cupped his erection through his pants . his h*ps bucked involuntarily , and he closed his eyes , trying to steady himself . `` this was n't about me , '' he murmured . `` i ca n't let you go back on the floor with a hard-on . '' she licked up the side of his face , causing him to shudder . `` i owe you at least a happy ending after those multiple orgasms you just gave me . '' his closed eyes popped open . `` multiple did you say ? '' she giggled . `` then that means you owe me multiple dates , right ? '' megan reached around to smack his ass . `` you 're a bad boy trying to trick me . '' i play dirty when i have to . '' without another word , megan unbuttoned and unzipped him . she eased his pants and boxer shorts off his hips . when his erection was freed , she glanced between them . `` hmm , pretty impressive . '' he started to laugh at her remark , but when she gripped him in her hand , he gasped . all coherent thoughts flew out of his mind as she stroked his length up and down , alternating from smooth slides to hard tugs . `` would you rather it was my mouth on you than my hand ? '' `` feels good no matter what , '' he muttered , his head dipping to rest against her shoulder . her breath scorched against his ear . `` mmm , i love that you 're so hard . just for me , right ? '' `` yes , '' he panted . `` just for you . only you . '' flicking her tongue out , she encircled his lobe and the shell of his ear . `` can you imagine what it would be like to bury yourself deep inside me ? '' her words were having too much of an effect on him .

the dirty talk , coupled with the way she had her hand on him , caused him to tighten up . he tried to pull away , but she kept hold of him . and then he was coming undone . when he finally came back to himself , he opened his eyes to see that he 'd come on megan 's exposed thighs . `` i 'm sorry , '' he said . it was worth it to see your o face . '' she smiled dreamily at him . `` god , you were beautiful . '' since he 'd never had a woman tell him that , he could n't help flushing . he pulled away from her to search for something to clean her up with . finally , he found a roll of paper towels . when he returned to her , he gently wiped himself off her skin . after he finished , he helped her down off the counter . `` i 'll go out first . i need to clean up . and so do you . '' he gave a brief nod . he was having trouble processing all the emotions swirling through his mind . `` so when it is ? '' `` when is what ? '' he asked dumbly . he was still far too obliterated by a simple hand job to be processing coherent thoughts . `` our date . '' he had almost forgotten what he asked of her . out of the heat of the moment , he felt guilty for what he had done . `` no , i was n't being fair . you do n't owe me a date . '' `` yes , i do . i always keep my promises . '' `` you 're really going to go out with me ? '' `` of course i am . '' his heartbeat sped up . `` are you off this saturday ? '' `` you do n't have plans ? '' `` no , i do n't . '' `` and you can get someone to watch your son ? '' `` yessss , '' she replied , with a smile . `` okay , then let 's do it saturday . '' `` do what exactly ? '' `` the date . '' `` yes , but what are we doing ? '' `` it 's a surprise . '' tilting her head , she eyed him suspiciously . `` i 'm not sure i like the sound of that . '' `` i promise you 'll like it . '' `` what should i wear for this surprise date ? '' already the wheels had been turning in his head . since it might be his only chance , he knew he wanted to make the date as special as he could . `` wear something dressy .

we might be going somewhere that requires more formal wear than jeans . '' `` okay , i think i can do that . '' at the sound of his pager , he grimaced . `` guess i 'll be the one leaving first . '' without hesitating , he bowed his head to kiss her . just like before , the feel of her mouth against his lit him on fire . reluctantly , he pulled away . `` go wash up first . '' her breath warmed his cheek before she glanced up into his eyes . `` i can taste myself on you . '' he closed his eyes as a shudder went through his body . `` you 're trying to kill me . '' she flashed him a wicked grin . it 's the truth . '' `` behave yourself , '' he replied , before he headed to the door . chapter fourteen with less than ten minutes before pesh was set to arrive for their date , megan found herself a neurotic mess still holed in the bathroom . she 'd changed outfits at least three times before deciding on a black and white lace dress that came just to her knees . it had actually come out of the back of her closet-one of the tamer remnants of her wilder days . pesh had told her to wear something dressy , and it did fall into the dressy category , although it was probably a little sexier than she would have liked . while she 'd pulled her long hair back into a loose knot at the back of her neck , she was now rethinking her strategy . if she 'd left her hair down , it would cover more of the exposed skin that the spaghetti straps and neck of the dress showed . glancing at her phone one more time , she cringed . `` fuck it , '' she muttered , before spritzing on some perfume . after the fragrant cloud faded , she headed out of the bathroom . she grabbed her purse and headed upstairs . when she came into the kitchen , a loud , cat-calling whistle pierced her ear . she scowled at sean . `` seriously ? '' `` you look hot , sis . '' gavin , who stood beside sean at the counter , nodded . `` we never see you in anything but scrubs . '' megan could n't help smiling at her brothers . wagging his brows , gavin asked , `` got a hot date , huh ? '' `` not exactly , '' she replied , as she went to grab her purse . `` yeah right , '' he mumbled under his breath .

after slinging her purse on her shoulder , she whirled around to pin him with her stare . `` and what 's that supposed to mean ? '' `` it means that chicks do n't get dressed up like that for nothing . you obviously want to impress this guy . so , it 's obviously a hot date . '' `` since when did you become the love guru ? '' she questioned . sean grinned as he elbowed gavin . `` she 's getting riled , man . being irrational about little things usually means love . '' megan opened her mouth to lay into her brothers , but then found herself speechless , so she closed it back up . without another word to her brothers , she went into the living room . she found her dad lounging in his chair with mason snuggled to his side . when her dad looked up , he did a double take . `` do n't you look beautiful , sweetheart , '' he said . she bent down and kissed his cheek . `` thanks , daddy . '' mason tore his gaze away from the television to look at her . `` mommy , bye-bye ? '' this was one question she had n't anticipated explaining . `` yes , mommy is going to go see a friend today , and you 're going to stay here with grammy and granddad . '' his tiny brows furrowed . `` mace no go ? '' guilt rocketed through her . how could she spend one of her few off days away from her son ? the doorbell rang , and she was forced out of her self-loathing to answer the door . taking a deep breath , she opened it . her heart did a funny little flip-flop at the sight of pesh on the porch . it was n't just how handsome he looked in his khaki pants , red button-down polo shirt , and black blazer . it was also the fact he held a dozen red roses in his hand . `` hi , '' she said shyly , after they had stared at each other for a few seconds . `` hello . '' `` would you like to come in ? '' as he nodded , she stepped aside to give him room to come in the door . he turned back to her and held out the roses . `` these are for you . '' after the words left his lips , he grimaced , as if what he had said offended him . `` they 're beautiful . thank you . '' `` bye-bye kiss , mommy ! '' mason called from the living room . she smiled apologetically at pesh .