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Tell me a small story about psychological torture, how it is intangible but very definitive. | One day Yamadharma comes to planet earth to do His job - harvesting the life. Somehow He fell in love with a girl. He decided to get married to her, and got married also; had a son. As usual the middle age crisis started after maybe five-six years of marriage; the fight and the whole drama, He was not able to take it. Because He always lived by only giving order, never taking orders and just little difficult in marriage. So finally, He decided to run away, escape back to His Yamaloka. But He had a son. So He was really bothered about the future of the son. So He calls the son secretly. And he's a kid, few years marriage only. And reveals His identity to the son. And makes him grow tall through His powers, means makes him grow older through His powers and tells him, 'See, I give you the knowledge of medicine. You will become a greatest vaidya, doctor in the whole world. Only one condition. Whenever you see Me, don't treat that patient. He is going to die. If you see Me, don't treat that patient, he is going to die. You will have bad name that you treated and that patient died. Otherwise, nobody can falter you. You can never falter. You will be the doctor…saves anyone who touch, whom you touch; okay.' And then Yamadharma escapes to Yamaloka. Wife cries, screams, searches everywhere, but could not find. That's the beauty of Bharatn wives. They might fight the whole day, but they will not be away from husband. They'll really miss him. He's too important component of her life. So, life goes on and this fellow becomes really the greatest physician in the whole country. Whole country knows that if, if he touches the patient will be healed. No death. If he says, 'No,' he won't touch, the patient will surely die. Because whenever he sees His father, he will say, 'No, I am not going to treat this patient.' So everyone knows now the whole secret, that if he touches, the patient will be saved. If not, the patient will be dead. Unfortunately the princess of the kingdom, she fell sick. And no doctor was able to cure. King announces whoever cures her, he will give princess and the kingdom, declare him as a future king. The doctor, vaidya goes and he sees Yamadharma standing there. What to do? This fellow, 'Oh God! If I cure her, I will have…princess and this whole kingdom. What to do?' All he does very simple thing. He comes out of the room and screams, 'Mom! You are searching for dad. He is here!' That's it. Never ever, he was seen again. Yama leave and leaves His buffalo and runs back to His Yamaloka. |
Tell me a story about why you need to fix the source of the problem | A drunkard as usual fully drunk, came home late at night. To avoid war between him and his wife… it means what... getting beaten! There is no such thing as war. War is always between two forces. Here he knows he is going to get beaten! Silently, he slips into the restroom. He sees on the way, he has many injuries on the face, so he doesn't know what to do. He is not pained about the injuries, but he is afraid, his wife will find out he is drunk and got himself into an accident or some mess and he has injured himself. In the delusion he did something here and there. He pulled out some first-aid band-aid medicines, tried to put band-aid wherever he can. Finally went and collapsed in the bed. The next day morning before even he woke up, he saw his wife standing with the broom. That is the traditional Hindu weapon used by Hindu wives to train the husband. She was standing with the broom asking him. She is dharma pathini, so she always does an investigation before delivering the punishment. So she asked, 'Did you come home drunk last night?' He said, 'No no... see see see…I just got into a small accident so I put on a band-aid and some medicine, but I was not drunk. She said, 'Stupid! You put the band-aid on the bathroom mirror!' |
Tell me a story of what happens when someone is not in integrity | One story, a 20 year boy comes to his father and confesses him saying that I am in love with neighbor girl, I am proposing to her, I want to marry her. Father immediately collapses on the sofa and says, you cant do that, she is your half sister. The guy is completely disturbed. Anyway he obliges the father, next month he comes with another proposal saying the opposite house girl is in love and already he has proposed to her. Again father collapses and says No my son, sorry, she is also your step sister. He begs don't tell your mom. But it is too much. Third time again he comes back and same thing is repeated. Now it is too much, he is not able to handle, he rushes to his mom and cries, see what your husband has done, my father has done, any woman I propose, he says it is your half sister. What can I do, whom will I marry. Mother says don't worry son, among the three you can marry any one because he is not your father. |
Tell me a small story about having pure trust and belief in the divine. | One guy who was trying his best to get a boon from Shiva. So every day morning he will pour water, milk all kinds of offerings he will pour to Shiva deity and sit and chant namah shivaya and literally nag Shiva to give the boon, literally force Shiva to give the boon. Shiva was not responding. Finally one day he became angry. When the greed not fulfilled it turns as anger. When he became angry. He decided to tease Shiva. He brought a Vishnu deity and started doing all the rituals to tease Shiva. Finally he put the incense stick. The incense smoke went to Shiva. He could not tolerate. The incense he kept for Vishnu was going to Shiva. He jumped and caught hold of the nose of the deity of Shiva. He said you should not smell the incense kept for Vishnu. Suddenly in few seconds he felt he was holding somebody's flesh and nose. When he opened his eyes he was sitting. The moment he saw Shiva his pseudo anger went away, he fell at Shiva's feet and asked please forgive me. Shiva asked what do you want my son. He asked and Shiva gave him boon. He suddenly had a doubt he asked I was doing so much puja, sacrifice, repetition of your name everything. Why did you not appear then and now when I am angry with you, why are you coming now? Then Shiva beautifully said - even in your greed, you did not have a strong trust I am in that deity. You only have to imagine that Shiva is there but one corner of your mind is always commenting on your action. There was never 100% doubtless trust. But in your anger, when you held my nostril, my nose strongly even one second you did not have doubt that I was not there. Your mind was not saying even in your unconscious who knows if Shiva is there. You did not know. You know Shiva is there and you have to take revenge. Whether right or wrong those moments without having doubt even in your unconscious you know I am there in the deity. That strong authentic doubtless trust is the key. That is the bridge and makes me appear. When you have that trust, I have no other way. I have to appear. |
Tell me a small story about having the wrong context for our actions. | One drunken man gets on the bus late night, staggers up to the seat and sits next to an elderly priest. He looks the man up and down and says, 'I've got the news for you. You are going straight to hell.' Immediately the man jumps out of his seat and shouts, 'Oh God! I'm in the wrong bus.' He thinks - bus is going to the hell, No! |
Tell me a marriage joke | One fellow catches a genie and genie says ask what you want. That fellow says make two way track from here to Dubai. Genie says that is too much. Ask anything else. He says make my wife listen to me. Genie asks again 'do you want 2 track or 4 track?' |
Tell me a small story about why it is important to honor the words a person gives to himself | A small story, one guy, opens his lunch box at the office and finds garbage and cry so; 'Oh God... I don't like it,' next day again he opens the lunchbox and cries; 'Oh God again today also garbage, I don't like it.' His colleagues, were really surprised, the friend's wife is so cruelly, knowing every day, knowing the friend doesn't like garbage, every day she sends garbage! Third day again the front opens the lunch box and cries loudly, again garbage I can't take it anymore the friends asked him the his colleagues asked him; your wife is so cruel, she cooks every day garbage knowing that you don't like it. This fellow slowly responds no I am not married I cook for myself. |
Tell me a small story about people's resistance to their responsibility and life | Mother goes 8 o'clock to her son's bedroom and wakes up, tells, 'Come on, my dear, get up. You have to go to school' The son resisting, 'Tell me at least three reason why should I go to school, then I will go.' Mother says, 'Dear son, all the teachers and students will be waiting for you. Second, it's already getting late. Third, you are the Headmaster of the school!' Understand, many time, you don't want to remember you are the Headmaster, because it wakes you up. Many time you don't want to remember your possibilities, because inner awakening happens in you. Your possibilities awakens you. |
Tell me a small story about why completion is important and why we need to take decisions for the right reasons | Three mental patients, mad people, all three of them think they have become all right. They want to go home from a mental asylum. They go to the doctor in charge and request 'We have become all right, please send us back to our house. We want to go back to the house, resume the normal life.' Doctor says 'All right, tomorrow morning all three of you come to the office, 10 o'clock. I will test you guys then I'll decide whether you can leave the asylum and go back to your house and continue the normal life.' So all three of them, next day, gathered. Doctor shows empty swimming pool; swimming pool without water, empty pool, and asked the first guy to jump. The guy jumps and breaks his leg. He calls second guy, asks him to jump. That guy jumps and breaks his hands. He calls the third guy and asks 'You jump'. Third guy said 'No I won't jump'. And doctor was very happy that this guy has become normal. When the paper work was getting done for the third guy to leave the mental asylum and go to his house, doctor was casually asking 'May I know the reason why you did not jump into that pool?' The guy says 'you don't know – I don't know swimming!' |
Tell me a small story about the power of words | Once a small town was visited by a saint. As he passed by a small hut, a woman came to him and begged him to pray for her critically-ill child. Since the saint was new to the town, a crowd gathered around him and see if he could do anything. The woman brought the sick child to him and he said the prayer over her. 'Do you really think your prayer will help her when medicine has failed?', yelled a man from the crowd. From the crowd one guy shouted, 'Will your prayer work when medicine has failed?' 'You idiot, you don't know what I am doing! and just shut up', said the saint to the man. The man became furious with these words with his face grew hot and red. He was about to say something or perhaps hit the saint. The saint walked over to him and said, 'If one word has such power to make you so angry and hot, may not another word have a power to heal?' When one word can make you mad, another word can make you heal! |
Tell me a story about how modern society is destroying the life of human beings | An American consultant was at the pyre of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. Mexican replied '2 hours'. The American then asked, 'Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?' The Mexican then said, 'Well I catch enough to feed my family.' The American then asked, 'What do you do with the rest of your time?' The Mexican fisherman said, 'I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take sista with my wife, and stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my Amigos and I have full busy life.' The American scoffed, 'I am Harvard graduate and could help you with a new business plan. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds by a bigger boat, with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middle man, you would sell directly to a processor. Eventually opening your own canary, you would control the product processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City and then LA, eventually New York City where you will run your expanding Enterprise.' Mexican fisherman asked, 'But Senor how long will this all take?' To which the American replied, '15 to 20 years to realise the business plan' 'But what then?' The guy asked. American laughed and said 'That's the best part. When the time is right you will announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make Millions.' 'Millions... then what?' American said, 'Then you would retire, move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take sista with your wife, stroll to a village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play the guitar with your amigos.' And I tell you, joke is not yet over. This plan, to realise it you have to become partner with that fellow who will be literally swindling you and after one year you will neither have that boat not remember how to fish!! |
Tell me a small story about being cheated | A small story: Last day of the higher secondary school, Mother Superior is warning all the girls, 'World is too bad. Don't be cheated by men. They will try to seduce you through various ways, through money, good words, gifts. Just for the sake of one hour pleasure of one hour don't destroy your whole life. Don't lose your life for the sake of the pleasure of the one hour.' Last row girls have started giggling. Mother Superior did not understand what is going on! She asked those girls, 'Don't you understand, I am talking something very serious. Why are you guys giggling? What's the reason?' Just one voice came from that side, 'Mother, how do you make it one hour long?' |
Tell me a marriage joke | A small story. One guy says, 'For eighteen years, me and my wife were the happiest people on the planet earth.' Then friend asked, 'Then what happened?' 'Then we both met. Then we both met each other.' |
Tell me a small story on unnecessarily worrying | A man was sitting outside his house and weeping and wailing very badly. His friend came and enquired, 'What happened, what happened? Why are you weeping so much?' He said, 'No, no. Just three days ago, my grandfather passed away, writing a will, leaving a will all his properties to me.' The man said, 'What is wrong in it? You yourself sixty, your grandfather must have been above hundred. It is too late, it has come, no problem. I know your grandfather. He had lot of properties and you got that properties. You should be happy. You should be joyful.' 'No, no, no. You don't know. One month ago, my uncle also passed away leaving all his properties to me.' 'Perfectly alright. I know your uncle. He also must be above eighty and he also had millions of dollars. Now you are rich. Why are you bothering so much about it?' 'No, no, no. You don't know. Three months ago, my grandmother passed away leaving all her properties.' This man thought, 'Really he has gone crazy or what? Three relatives leaving their properties and passing away. This is the moment we celebrate it.' Then he started advising, 'Are you really sensitive? You feel lonely because they have all died? What is happening? What is the reason? At least tell me the reason. You can… by sharing your dukkha, sharing your sorrow, you can be relaxed. He said, 'No, no. It is not my problem. You don't understand. Now I have no more relatives who will leave their properties and die. I have nobody else who will give their properties and die!' |
Tell me a joke about Integrity | One guy came late fully drunk. The moment he entered the house, he vomited, made the whole place dirty and slowly he was dragged to the bed by wife, and wife cleaned the whole house. Next day morning when he was slowly waking up, he remembered what happened yesterday night and he was just praying that there should not be any fight. He doesn't know how he is going to handle. He doesn't even want to open his eyes. But suddenly he felt a sweet smell in the room, the smell of the bed coffee. When he slowly opened his eyes, he saw a note next to his table. 'Honey, coffee is here. When you wake up please have your coffee. I will be back in few minutes from market and hot breakfast is there on the dining table.' He was shocked! He opened the eyes and saw. Yes, wife's handwriting. He looked this side and that side. He saw his daughter sitting in one corner. He asked her, 'Where is mother?' 'She has gone to pick up vegetables.' He asked her, 'What happened? Morning how is her mood? She is angry?' The kid replied, 'No, she was very happy.' Father asked, 'Tell me exactly what all happened yesterday night?' The kid replied, 'Dad, when mom was dragging you to bed after you vomited in the hall, when she was trying to drag you to bed and make you sleep, you blabbered, Hey lady, leave me. I am married.' Understand, the integrity to one idea…. Integrity even to one idea keeps the life alive. Even if you miss integrity in few things, if you are integrated to what you stand for keeps life alive. |
Tell me a small story about how people begin committing crimes | In a party, rich young lady is dancing around. One guy goes to her and asks, 'Will you come to my house tonight.' She looks up and down not answering. The guy says, 'I can give ten million dollar.' She smiles immediately and accepts the offer. When they are about to go to the car, the guy suddenly changes and says, 'No, I can give only ten dollar, not ten million.' This girl asks, 'What, what do you think I am a prostitute or what?' He said, 'That is already established, now we are negotiating the rate.' Listen all crimes does not start in a big way. It starts only in a small way, then you forget. Then you come to a conclusion afterall me stealing is established. Now it's a number or big number that's where the bargain is. |
Tell me a small story about the importance of perspective | A small story. Two monks were walking along a river bank when they saw a young woman trying to cross. The first monk, remembering his vow not to touch women, hesitated. The second monk immediately picked up the woman, carried her across the river, and set her down on the other side. The two monks continued their journey in silence for several hours. Finally, the first monk couldn't contain himself any longer and said, 'Brother, we took a vow not to touch women, yet you carried that woman across the river!' The second monk replied, 'I left the woman at the riverbank hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?' Sometimes, our perspective keeps us carrying burdens long after we should have put them down. |
Tell me a small story about overthinking | A small story. One man was crossing a rope bridge over a deep gorge. Halfway across, he started thinking about the physics of rope bridges, calculating the tensile strength of the ropes, analyzing the decomposition rate of natural fibers, estimating the age of the bridge, and wondering when it was last inspected. He became so consumed with these thoughts that his legs began to tremble. Another traveler noticed his distress and called out, 'Are you okay?' The man replied, 'I'm calculating the probability of this bridge collapsing under our weight.' The other traveler laughed and said, 'I've crossed this bridge every day for twenty years. If you stop thinking and start walking, you'll reach the other side before your calculations are complete.' Sometimes, overthinking prevents us from simply making progress. |
Tell me a small story about listening with intention | A small story. A young manager was frustrated that his team never seemed to understand his instructions. He complained to his mentor, 'I tell them exactly what to do, but they always get it wrong!' His mentor suggested they have lunch at a busy restaurant. During the meal, the mentor asked detailed questions about the manager's childhood, family, and dreams. The manager spoke enthusiastically for an hour while the mentor listened intently without interruption. As they were leaving, the mentor asked, 'What did I have for lunch?' The manager couldn't remember - he hadn't noticed. 'Perhaps,' said the mentor, 'this is how your team feels. There's a difference between hearing words and truly listening. When you speak, you expect them to notice every detail, yet you just demonstrated how easy it is to miss what's right in front of you.' True listening is not waiting for your turn to speak, but giving someone your complete attention. |
Tell me a small story about simplicity | A small story. A renowned philosopher visited a Zen master seeking wisdom. When they sat down for tea, the philosopher began explaining his complex theories about existence. As he spoke, the master began pouring tea into his cup. The cup filled, then overflowed onto the table, then onto the floor. The philosopher jumped up exclaiming, 'Stop! The cup is full!' The master replied, 'Like this cup, your mind is full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you wisdom unless you first empty your cup?' The philosopher suddenly understood that his complex theories had prevented him from seeing the simple truths. Sometimes the most profound wisdom comes not from accumulating more knowledge, but from simplifying what we already know. |
Tell me a funny story about marriage counseling | A small story. A couple went to marriage counseling after 25 years of marriage. The counselor asked them to start by telling him something they liked about each other. The wife goes first: 'Well, I like that... umm... he...' After two minutes of painful silence, she finally says, 'He doesn't beat me.' The counselor, shocked, turns to the husband: 'It's your turn.' The husband looks thoughtful and says, 'You know, the more I think about it, her standard is actually pretty reasonable.' |
Tell me a funny story about misunderstanding technology | A small story. An elderly man finally bought his first smartphone. His grandson spent hours showing him how to use it. A week later, the grandson called to check on him. 'How's the new phone, Grandpa?' The old man replied, 'I love it! But I still can't figure out how you young people type so fast with your thumbs.' 'Are you using the keyboard on the screen?' the grandson asked. There was a long pause before the grandfather responded, 'You mean I don't have to lick the screen? I've been typing with my tongue this whole time! I thought it was one of those fancy new touch-sensitive things. No wonder people at the bus stop keep moving away from me.' |
Tell me a funny story about embarrassing yourself at a job interview | A small story. A young man was interviewing for his dream job. He prepared for weeks and dressed in his finest suit. As he sat nervously in the reception area, he noticed an attractive person smiling at him from across the room. Thinking it might be his future colleague, he smiled back. The person smiled bigger. Feeling confident, he winked. They winked back. This exchange continued until he was called in for his interview. As he stood up, he realized with horror that he'd been flirting with his own reflection in a mirror. During the interview, the manager asked, 'Do you always establish such intimate relationships with reflective surfaces?' Apparently, there had been a security camera in the waiting room. He didn't get the job, but he did get a restraining order from his bathroom mirror. |
Tell me a funny story about cultural differences | A small story. An American businessman was in Japan for negotiations. After a long day, his Japanese hosts invited him to a traditional bathhouse. Not wanting to seem rude, he agreed, though he was uncomfortable with public nudity. At the entrance, they provided small towels. His hosts explained that the towel was for modesty. Relieved, the American entered the bath with the towel wrapped around his waist. He noticed all the Japanese men had their towels... on top of their heads. A young attendant approached him and whispered, 'Sir, in our culture, we believe that which is most valuable should be protected first.' The American immediately put the towel on his head. His hosts nodded approvingly and one whispered to another, 'At least he understands what's most important to Americans.' |
Tell me a funny story about a child embarrassing their parent | A small story. A mother was grocery shopping with her four-year-old son. As they passed the condom display, the curious boy asked loudly, 'Mom, what are these?' The mother, turning bright red as other shoppers looked on, whispered, 'I'll tell you when we get home.' The boy, unsatisfied with this answer, pointed at the display and shouted even louder, 'But why are they in different colors and sizes? The picture shows they make balloons! I WANT BALLOONS!' An elderly woman passing by chuckled and said to the mother, 'Go ahead and buy him some. I'd love to see how you explain the instructions.' The mother abandoned her full cart and left the store, while her son yelled, 'But you promised we could have a party this weekend!' |
Tell me a funny story about a job interview | A small story. A man went for a job interview and the interviewer asked him, 'What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?' The man thought for a moment and replied, 'Honesty.' The interviewer said, 'I don't think honesty is a weakness.' The man replied, 'I don't give a damn what you think.' |
Tell me a funny story about marriage | A small story. An elderly couple was sitting on their porch. The wife turned to her husband and said, 'Fifty years ago, we were sitting in this same spot. You were holding my hand and singing me love songs.' The husband stared straight ahead. She said, 'Don't you remember?' The husband replied, 'Of course I remember. That's when I proposed to you.' She smiled and said, 'So what do you think now?' Without missing a beat, he replied, 'I think my judgment was severely impaired.' |
Tell me a funny story about drinking | A small story. A drunk man stumbles into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, 'Sorry sir, I can't serve you. You're clearly intoxicated.' The drunk man says, 'Okay, I'll go somewhere else,' and walks out. Five minutes later, he walks back in through a different door. The bartender says, 'Sir, I just told you I can't serve you.' The drunk replies, 'Wait, you work here too?' |
Tell me a funny story about a visit to the doctor | A small story. A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up. After examining him, the doctor says, 'I have bad news and worse news.' The man asks, 'What's the bad news?' The doctor replies, 'You have 24 hours to live.' Shocked, the man cries out, 'What could be worse than that?' The doctor looks at his watch and says, 'I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.' |
Tell me a funny story about getting old | A small story. An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling. 'Never been better!' the man replied. 'I have an 18-year-old bride who's pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?' The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, 'Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was a hunter. One day, he left the house in a hurry and grabbed an umbrella instead of his rifle. When a lion suddenly appeared in front of him, he pointed the umbrella, pulled a handle, and the lion dropped dead.' The old man replied, 'That's impossible! Someone else must have shot the lion.' The doctor smiled and said, 'Exactly.' |
Tell me a funny story about a date gone wrong | A small story. A man took a woman on a first date to a nice restaurant. He wanted to impress her, so he ordered in French, spoke to the sommelier at length about wine, and lectured her on the cuisine. When the check came, he discovered he'd forgotten his wallet. After an awkward silence, the woman paid, and as they walked out, she asked, 'So, where would you like to go for our second date?' Surprised, he asked, 'You want a second date?' She smiled and said, 'No, but I'm curious where you'd pick since I'm fairly certain you can't afford a third.' |
Tell me a funny story about being smart | A small story. A college professor failed an entire class. When the students asked why, he explained, 'You all claimed to believe in socialism, so I'm giving everyone the same grade—the class average, which is a 50%.' One student stood up, furious, and said, 'But that's not fair! I studied hard and earned an A!' The professor smiled and said, 'Welcome to capitalism.' |
Tell me a funny story about a prayer | A small story. A man was in deep financial trouble. He prayed, 'God, please let me win the lottery.' Saturday came, but he didn't win. He prayed again, more fervently, 'Please God, I really need this money. Let me win the lottery next week.' Again, he didn't win. Getting desperate, he prayed one more time, 'God, I've been a devoted servant, I've donated to charity, I've never missed church. Why won't you let me win the lottery?' Suddenly, a voice boomed from the heavens, 'My son, meet me halfway— buy the ticket atleast!' |
Tell me a funny story about a mother-in-law | A small story. A man was reading the newspaper when his wife hit him with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' he asked. His wife replied, 'That's for the piece of paper I found in your pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it.' The man said, 'Honey, remember last week when I went to the races? Mary Lou was the name of a horse I bet on.' The wife apologized and went back to cooking. Three days later, the man was watching TV when his wife hit him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. When he woke up, he asked, 'What was that for?' She replied, 'Your horse called.' |
Tell me a funny story about retirement | A small story. After 40 years of hard work, a man finally retired. His wife was excited to have him around the house, but after a week, she noticed he was just following her everywhere. When she cooked, he was in the kitchen. When she cleaned, he was right behind her. When she watched TV, he sat beside her staring. Finally, she'd had enough and asked, 'What's going on? Why are you following me everywhere?' The husband replied, 'Well, my retirement package says I'll get a pension until death do us part. I just want to know what you're up to.' The wife didn't speak to him for three days, which he said was the first peace and quiet he'd had since retirement began. |
Tell me a funny story about fishing | A small story. Three friends went fishing early one Sunday morning. After four hours without a single bite, they were getting frustrated. Suddenly, one of them got a massive tug on his line. 'I've got something huge!' he shouted as he struggled with the rod. His friends watched in excitement as he fought with whatever was on the other end for nearly twenty minutes. Finally, with one mighty pull, he yanked his catch out of the water. It was an old, waterlogged boot. The friends all laughed, except the one who caught it. He stared at the boot intensely, then reached inside and pulled out a soggy piece of paper. 'What's that?' his friends asked. 'A $100 bill?' he replied with a grin. His friends quickly grabbed their rods and began casting toward the same spot. After watching them cast frantically for several minutes, one finally asked, 'Are you sure it was $100?' The first man shook his head. 'No, it was just a grocery receipt. But you should see how much better you fish when you think there's money involved!' His friends pushed him into the lake, boot and all. |
Tell me a funny story about marriage communication | A small story. A husband and wife had been married for 30 years. The wife complained to her friend, 'My husband never tells me he loves me.' The friend suggested, 'Next time he's reading his newspaper, just say, "Do you love me?" and see what happens.' That evening, while her husband was reading, she asked, 'Do you love me?' Without looking up, he replied, 'I told you I did 30 years ago. If anything changes, I'll let you know.' |
Tell me a funny story about marriage expectations | A small story. On their anniversary, a wife asked her husband, 'If I died, would you remarry?' After thinking, he replied, 'Eventually, yes.' She asked, 'Would you let her use our bed?' He said, 'I suppose so.' 'Would you replace my photos with hers?' He said, 'That seems reasonable.' 'Would she use my golf clubs too?' He quickly responded, 'No, she's left-handed.' |
Tell me a funny story about a wife outsmarting her husband | A small story. A husband was trying to prove that women talk more than men. He showed his wife research claiming men use about 15,000 words per day, while women use 30,000. His wife thought for a moment and replied, 'That's because we have to repeat everything we say to men.' The husband frowned and asked, 'What?' |
Tell me a funny story about a romantic gesture gone wrong | A small story. For their anniversary, a husband decided to cook dinner for his wife. He found a recipe online and followed it carefully. When his wife came home, the kitchen was a disaster, smoke was everywhere, and a small fire was burning in the trash can. 'What happened?' she cried. He proudly held up a plate of burnt food and said, 'I made dinner!' She looked at the chaos and asked, 'But why is the trash can on fire?' He replied, 'That's where I put the recipe after I realized I wasn't good at following instructions.' |
Tell me a funny story about marriage miscommunication | A small story. A wife asked her husband to go to the store: 'Get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six.' The husband came back with six cartons of milk. The wife asked, 'Why did you buy six cartons of milk?' The husband replied, 'They had eggs.' |
Tell me a funny story about marriage roles | A small story. A husband was feeling unappreciated after doing the dishes. He complained to his wife, 'You never notice when I do the dishes.' She replied, 'You're right, I'm sorry. It's like noticing when a dog walks on its hind legs. You don't praise it for doing it poorly, you're just surprised it happened at all.' |
Tell me a funny story about a husband trying to be helpful | A small story. A wife had a bad day and was complaining about everything that went wrong. Her husband listened patiently, then said, 'You know what, honey? You'd feel a lot better if you just smiled more.' Two weeks later, when he was released from the hospital, he brought her flowers with a card that read, 'I've learned to just listen.' |
Tell me a funny story about married life | A small story. After 25 years of marriage, a couple was sitting on the couch when the wife said, 'You used to sit close to me.' The husband moved closer. 'You used to hold my hand,' she continued. He reached for her hand. 'You used to kiss me,' she added. He leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. 'You used to bite my neck,' she said. The husband got up and walked away. 'Where are you going?' she asked. 'To get my teeth,' he replied. |
Tell me a funny story about a police officer | A small story. A police officer pulled over a driver for speeding. As the officer approached the car, the driver said, 'Officer, I know I was speeding, but I have a good excuse.' The officer replied, 'Go ahead.' The driver said, 'Twenty years ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. I thought you were bringing her back.' The officer smiled and said, 'Have a nice day, sir.' |
Tell me a funny story about parents and technology | A small story. A teenager spent an hour teaching his grandmother how to use her new smartphone. Finally, she seemed to understand. The next day, she called him on her landline. 'The phone isn't working,' she complained. 'What happened?' he asked. 'Well,' she explained, 'I took a picture of my roses and tried to smell them through the screen, but nothing happened. This touchscreen technology still has a long way to go.' |
Tell me a funny story about a diet | A small story. A woman started a new diet and told her husband, 'I'm not eating chocolate, ice cream, or cookies for a month. Don't even mention them.' He agreed. Three days later, she found him in the kitchen at midnight eating a chocolate sundae with cookies crumbled on top. 'I thought you were being supportive!' she cried. He looked up and said, 'I am! I'm eating all the junk food in the house so you won't be tempted.' |
Tell me a funny story about a lawyer | A small story. A lawyer arrived home late from work. His 5-year-old son greeted him and asked, 'Dad, how much do you charge for legal advice?' Amused, the father said, '$500 for three questions.' The son thought for a moment and asked, 'Isn't that a lot of money?' The father nodded, 'Yes, it is. Now what's your third question?' |
Tell me a funny story about a plumber | A small story. A woman called a plumber to fix her toilet. After examining it, he told her it would cost $200. 'That's ridiculous!' she exclaimed. 'For that price, I could have my husband do it.' The plumber nodded and said, 'You're right, and it would probably only cost you three weekends, two trips to the hardware store, one flooded bathroom, and a divorce.' |
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