def METHOD_NAME(*args, **kwargs):
    _public_state_dataset_from_bq = [
        ['state_fips_code', 'state_postal_abbreviation',
            'state_name', 'state_gnisid'],
        ['60', 'AS', 'American Samoa', 'SOME_CODE_CODE'],
        ['66', 'GU', 'Guam', 'SOME_CODE_CODE'],
        ['69', 'MP', 'Northern Mariana Islands', 'SOME_CODE_CODE'],
        ['78', 'VI', 'U.S. Virgin Islands', 'SOME_CODE_CODE'],
    ]
    _public_county_dataset_from_bq = [
        ["summary_level", "summary_level_name", "state_fips_code", "county_fips_code",
            "county_subdivision_fips_code", "place_fips_code", "consolidated_city_fips_code", "area_name"],
        # we don't actually use the BigQuery public county names for territory equivalents,
        # we have them hard-coded in constants.py; however we still need to mock the call
        # that happens before merging the hard-coded ones
    ]
    # within merge_state_ids()
    if args[1] == "fips_codes_states":
        return gcs_to_bq_util.values_json_to_df(
            json.dumps(_public_state_dataset_from_bq), dtype=str).reset_index(drop=True)
    # within merge_county_names()
    if args[1] == "fips_codes_all":
        return gcs_to_bq_util.values_json_to_df(
            json.dumps(_public_county_dataset_from_bq), dtype=str).reset_index(drop=True)
    return TypeError(f'Unexpected *args: {args}')