Take this post with a grain of salt. I’m sharing something I’ve experimented with over the years.
Discipleship is a big issue.
I have tried to disciple myself first. And now, my family. And more and more, people at church. But how do I go about doing that? I have been meeting people with serious difficulties and I’ve sought a Biblical basis for discipling and counseling them.
Bob alerted me to a form of therapy called Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) invented by Albert Ellis based on his study of ancient philosophy. I’ve been reading about REBT over the years and have tried to apply it to myself (see here).
That insight might go against the grain. Most people might think that our bad circumstances cause us to feel a certain way. But REBT denies that. The same set of circumstances can give rise to many different emotional and behavioral reactions in different people.
For example, think of Daniel in the lion’s den. If one hundred people were thrown into a den of hungry lions, what would be the range of reactions? Fear. Numbness. Anger. Hysteria. And what was Daniel’s reaction? Peace. The same circumstance, but very different reactions.
Or what about the circumstance of losing a job? Do all people react the same way when losing a job? No. Different people will experience relief, worry, excitement, depression, anger, and so on.
Hence, REBT claims that beliefs, not circumstances, determine our reactions.
I think that is Biblical. How did Paul say we are to be transformed? By changing our circumstances? No: “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom 12:2b). Paul learned to be content in all circumstances: “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content” (Phil 4:11). He learned to be content by renewing his mind.
So how do you change your beliefs?
That brings me to REBT’s method of therapy. It is summarized by an ABCDE scheme.
A stands for “Adversity” or “Activating Event.” This is the “trigger” or circumstance the patient thinks has caused him to feel or react in a certain way. The REBT therapist begins by identifying the triggering event.
B stands for “Beliefs.” These are the irrational beliefs the patient has about his circumstances.
C stands for “Consequences.” These are the patient’s behavioral or emotional reactions to his adversity.
D stands for “Disputing.” This is the point in the therapy when you dispute your irrational beliefs and replace them with rational ones (e.g., “It is irrational to believe you’ll never find another job. The jobless rate is at 3.8%. It is extremely likely that you’ll have another job soon.”).
E stands for “Effects” or “Effective Change.” When you replace irrational beliefs with rational ones, that should effect change in your emotions and behaviors.
So that’s the REBT method of therapy—help people change, by helping them change their beliefs.
I find the REBT approach works, except for one thing.
REBT therapists tend to be atheists and relativists. Hence, when entering the “disputing” (D) phase of the therapy, I have noticed that REBT therapists often endorse moral relativism as the more “rational” system of beliefs. For example, if a patient is feeling guilty (C) about her sexual promiscuity (A), REBT therapists might diagnosis the belief (B) “Sexual promiscuity is wrong” as irrational, and try to get her to believe (D) that “There’s nothing wrong with being sexually promiscuous.” That is wrong. It is endorsing sin, i.e., an inherently destructive behavior.
So here is what I do—I dispute (D) my irrational beliefs by comparing them to the Bible. Bible doctrine, not moral relativism, is my standard of rationality. That brings us back to Rom 12:2—the Word of God transforms our mind, which then transforms our behavior.
I am not a therapist. This is not medical advice. It presupposes a level of mental stability that people struggling with mental illness may not have. This form of therapy has helped me grow in Christ, and it may help you, too. But that belief is open to dispute!
I think you are right on, Shawn.
Thanks Shawn. Good ‘spiritual advice’ !!
His Word is sufficient for all things in this life (2 Tim. 3:15-17) .
On Atheism : it can only end up rearranging the deck chairs of the Titanic .
Absent meaning and purpose, all secular attempts at counseling ring hollow .
Only objective truth addresses the deepest needs , while aligning beliefs with reality.
I don’t really think any of us fully comprehend just how evil the days are. That we are in the enemies territory.
Satan binds, but Jesus came to loose and set free.
It is interesting to me that Jesus’ definitions and categories are very rarely consider when it comes to discipleship. Jesus makes nine statements that I believe should be considered in discipleship. Matt 10:24-25; Matt 11:29-30 ( the word “learn” is “mathete”); John 8:30-32; Luke 14:26, 27, 33; John 13:34-35; John 15:8; Matt 28:18-20. These nine statement designate the curriculum of the greatest disciple maker of all time and I believe should be our model for discipleship.
Hello Pastor Shawn, Thank you for this intriguing post. I believe that truth in every realm of life is God’s truth. The key question one must ask in all of this is. “Is every proposition asserted (which includes that which is presented from a secular perspective, be it scientific, theological, logical in nature, biblically true”? Everything has to be looked at, scrutinized and interpreted under the authority and veracity of Scripture. If it alligns and is affirmed by biblical truth, then it is to be accepted as God’s truth. However, when dealing with any and all secular perspectives, one has to be careful with the process as it can be a slippery slope into a spiritual stupor. I do believe that if one lacks a certain level of spiritual discernment and maturity, it can easily sway them to buy into highly detrimental secular perspectives of which there is no shortage out there.
I say, well done! Another “practical, where the rubber meets the road, article/post”.
Continuing to praying for you and GES!
I, too, appreciated this post, Shawn. I’ve struggled with anxiety off an on for years, and found that even supposedly Christian counseling (if based purely on psychology and human wisdom) only really served as a temporary remedy. The only tool which has helped me long-term has been to replace the lies (triggers) with the truth of Scripture–just like in your approach! I haven’t heard the term “faith-rest” since I was a child, when my grandmother practiced it. I was glad to hear it again and to read the link to Thieme’s explanation. Great reminders–thanks!
This became a favorite of mine when my house flooded then burned, and my husband of 59 years died after several years of dementia.
I’ll have to consider that a bit longer, but what I think here, is life is complicated and sometimes people need to hear themselves think out loud so and to be heard. Listening without speaking can be very Theraputic to the person in need. As people in the Body of Christ we can find deeper friends who will be supportive of our feelings and thoughts as well as challenge us to think differently about life. Listening though is the Key to help those in need and sometimes not giving a comment is the most loving thing one can give in my opinion.
Brother Shawn, I do believe after reading this that it makes alot of Biblical and daily good sense and has a good method. And I believe that our actions and thoughts can work hand in hand in the Christian life and also in reaching out to others. I was very touched about your reaching out to those “punk people”.
Most people do tend to blame their problems on circumstances.
One example is poverty: I believe there are many causes but God will cure it when He returns and sets up His eternal Kingdom.
Praise God. I love you in Christ and everyone on here.
PS: One thing that I do not like is that Robert Thieme attacked people believing in the literal blood of Jesus Christ to save our souls, when clearly Acts 20:28, Romans 5:8-9 and other verses do teach this.
Victory is sure for Jesus Christ, and for us, if we follow Him into victory. The gifts and calling of God are irrevocable. If we believed in Jesus for everlasting life, we have that life, right now, and His life cannot be taken away. Also, if we believed in Jesus for eternal life, we have the calling of God to join Him in co-reigning with Him in the future. These are irrevocable.
It is 100% certain that Jesus is coming again. So, the remainder of our time in this life is really a try out for the varsity team (most of us here are Americans, so we can relate to sports).
Being chosen of God is not like the try out for the youth soccer team. Everyone can join that team.
But, being chosen is a bit harder. It is like trying out for the High School varsity basketball team. You really have to prove yourself.
Thus, as Christians, who have believed in Jesus for eternal life, in this life, we have to prove ourselves. We have to prove ourselves not to be worthy to have eternal life, because no one is worthy of that gift. But, as worthy to be on the varsity team in eternity, so that we may be chosen of God.
How do we do this? Practice. The ones who make it on the team, work harder than the ones who do not. They spend use their time wisely. Months in advance, they prepare and train their bodies, as the day for the try out arrives. So when the test comes they endure and do not fail. So, that is how I see it.
I think the wisdom of God in our journey to heaven is far above our intellectual capacity. We live by faith and our desires, that push us into the good works He has prepared for His children, are desires that we do not even have any idea how they come to us….the Spirit of God creates desires foreign to our old sin nature. The children of God are indeed lead by His Spirit and our understanding is behind on what God is really doing to us.
Phil 2:12-13. God works in us to will and to do, but we must work it out. We’re not a robot, but are responsible before God. Even Paul knew there was a possibility that he could be disqualified from his race (1 Cor 9:27).
Zane com Rom 11. Paul believed the general Biblical truth that God must enable faith (2 Cor 4:6; John 6:44; Acts 16:14), but the precise interplay between sovereignty and the human will is never addressed by Paul anywhere in his letters.
Zane Rom com page 220-221 8:14 In fact, as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are God’s sons.
This statement does not simply mean that those LED BY THE SPIRIT are Christians. Neither is Paul’s point to be related to some supposed proof of one’s eternal salvation.
In light of Paul’s teaching in Gal 4:1-7, it is natural here to take the expression the sons of God (huioi Theou) as a reference to the life-experience of the adult son who is not under the law. In contrast to the earlier struggle (described in Rom 7:7-25) in which the regenerate inner man strived vainly to fulfill God’s law, now the one LED BY THE SPIRIT lives the life of an adult son who is no longer under the law (note especially 6:14). End quote.
Just as in Rom 5:9 we shall be delivered from wrath. That is speaking of temporal wrath being saved by Jesus life here and now. That deliverance is not automatic. It’s a gnomic future not a predictive one. Just as Matt 6:30 must take faith.
I’m curious : what is it that a person must believe in order to be certain of possessing eternal life ?
Is it possible that maybe your looking at the fruit problem and not the root problem~?
How many born again believers know they are living in a spiritually dead body?
And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness (Romans 8:10).
And it’s not until they become desperate like Paul….who shall deliver me from this body of death~? Do they get delivered. Page 198 Zane’s com.
I didn’t learn that truth until reading Zane’s Commentary on Romans, then I understood what I was dealing with.
I know from what you and Bob have written that you believe that all believers are under the 9 commandments for sanctification.
That is this gift (Justification sourced in life) in fact is made available for all men by means of the cross of Christ, that is to say, through one righteous action. Zane page 157,212,213.