I’ve always thought that HR practitioners were kind of like puppets, with people with P&L decision making and executive management positions more or less manipulating this function by proxy while making the back office Betties and HR Business Partners (an oxymoron if ever I’ve heard one) be manipulated into thinking that they’re the ones pulling the strings.
While the content at SHRM this year was a little Mortimer K. Snerd (only more wooden and older than that reference) meets Lambchop (moralistic motivational speeches aimed at an elementary school level of intellect), I did find myself repeatedly thinking about another puppet show entirely (and I’m not talking about Punch & Judy, which apparently is the basic premise for employee relations and performance management).
I realized, as I walked through the exhibition hall and looked around, that I had somehow wound up surrounded by the extended cast of the Muppets.
This first came when Hammering Hank Jackson himself opened with a oh so relevant keynote that proved that, like Mr. Rogers, while you can spend your time in Neighborhood of Make Believe, but that train has left the station for the world outside of the 15k people or so who spent a ton of money for the privilege of hearing Mr. Jackson deliver such gems in his keynote as the fact that globalization is changing business (probably because without international growth, SHRM doesn’t have a chance at survival since they’ve tapped the US market out) and that tired trope of Gen Y stuff that, let’s face it, is fear mongering among a membership that’s graying and aging faster than almost any other segment of the workforce – don’t believe me, look at the fact they’re actually strategic partners with the AARP.
So, I decided while it’s not easy being green (unlike, say, benefits administration), I’d continue on the fact that Jim Henson would be proud that, at SHRM at least, his legacy lives on within the HR profession. Here are the five kinds of attendees at SHRM, in Muppet form. No strings attached.
4. Diversity & Inclusion Specialists/Rowlf: From the Lionel Ritchie style curls to the fact that no one says anything bad about them, and while they’re an important member of any HR organization they’re also kind of forgettable, with the demographics and societal norms around these concepts shifting significantly, they’re both barking up the wrong tree (although at least Rowlf can play a killer Jazz piano).
…and finally, this one’s really too easy.
I mean, she looks like she’s ready to go see Jennifer Hudson and then hit the penny slots.
2. …a big welcome to our International Members!
3. The Social Recruiting or Employer Branding Contingent, or anyone consigned to speaking on the Smart Stage.
Yeah, I know, that was the worst post I’ve ever written. But hey, see above.
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Next year I aspire to be Gerry Crispin.