JackBAI/bert_pretrain_datasets · Datasets at Hugging Face

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she did n't know if she should try to go to him or not .
she regretted her decision when he turned to face her in the elevator .
his expression was agonizingly broken .
as the doors closed , her heart ached for him .
she knew any doctor hated to lose a patient , especially a young one , but this went far deeper than that .
from his behavior , megan knew that mary 's death had exposed a raw nerve in pesh-one that after two years still had n't healed .
somehow he had seen his wife in mary , and once again , he was n't able to save her .
after she had escorted mary 's body back upstairs to wait on the funeral home , megan went in search of pesh .
she could n't find him in any of the exam rooms , nor was he in the doctors ' lounge or break room .
finally , she went to kristi for answers .
`` did you see where dr. nadeen went ? ''
kristi gave her a sad smile .
`` you 'll probably find him on the roof . ''
megan 's brows shot up in surprise .
`` the roof ? ''
kristi nodded .
`` whenever he has a really bad day about his wife- '' she sucked in a breath when she realized she might have said too much .
at the thought of pesh 's grief , megan 's chest tightened in agony .
he was too good of a man to have to suffer like he did .
`` so he goes up to the roof ? ''
megan finished for kristi .
`` he likes to be alone to clear his head .
although none of us would say anything , he usually ends up pulling another shift to make up for the time he was gone . ''
of course pesh would do something like that .
he was honorable every moment of his life , even after those of immense grief .
even though she knew he probably wanted and needed to be alone , megan wanted to check on him .
she could n't bear the thoughts of him suffering so much .
`` um , if it 's okay , i think i 'll go ahead and take my dinner break . ''
kristi gave her a knowing look before nodding .
`` sure , honey .
go right ahead . ''
megan smiled before brushing past kristi .
she bypassed the break room where her purse was .
instead , she kept going .
after a brisk walk down the hall , she got to the authorized personnel only stairwell .
she did n't dare use the elevator shaft where trauma patients were brought in from being airlifted .
without hesitation , megan swiped her access card .
when the lock clicked , she flung the door open and started up the flights of stairs .
she was winded when she reached the top .
cautiously , her hand hovered over the doorknob .
she could n't help wondering what she might find on the other side .
would pesh be an emotional mess ?
would he be angry that she had interrupted his private grieving ?
shaking the thoughts from her head , she flung open the door .
as she stepped onto the roof , the air grew cooler .
a breeze rippled her scrubs .
her gaze spun around frantically until she found him .
pesh stood at the edge of the roof .
his usual ramrod straight posture was slumped , his broad shoulders drawn in .
although she could n't see his face , his gaze seemed fixed straight ahead into the night sky .
to add insult to injury , clouds blotted out the stars , cloaking everything in darkness .
tentatively , she started over to him .
`` hey , '' she said softly .
he whirled around in surprise .
her heart clenched at the sight of the tears sparkling in his eyes .
even in the darkness , she could see a blood-red flush entering his cheeks .
his hands quickly came up to swipe away the moisture from his eyes .
`` hello , '' he finally replied in a hoarse whisper .
they stood in an awkward silence , staring each other down .
finally , megan took a step forward to close the gap between them .
`` how did you know i was up here ? ''
he asked .
`` kristi told me . ''
`` hmm . ''
unable to stop herself , she reached out to touch his arm .
`` i 'm so sorry , pesh . ''
`` it is n't necessary . ''
she shook her head .
`` yes , it is .
you 're in pain ... you 've been in pain .
i ca n't help but feel sorry for what you 're going through . ''
his usually warm eyes took on a cold look .
`` you were in that elevator , too .
you have every right to be emotional .
maybe you should be more concerned with why you are n't weeping . ''
`` do n't , '' she murmured .
`` do n't what ? ''
`` do n't try to mask your pain by being someone you 're not or by pointing fingers at others .
that is n't you , and you ca n't fool me . ''
with a ragged sigh , pesh jerked his hand through his dark , wavy hair .
`` i 'm sorry .
that was completely uncalled for . ''
`` it 's okay . ''
`` no , it's- '' she silenced him by bringing her hand up to cover his lips .
when she pulled her hand away , he sighed .
`` talk to me , '' megan pleaded .
the clouds above them opened up , causing a slight drizzle to fall .
`` the death of a patient is never easy .
any doctor of worth , or nurse for that matter , must possess compassion .
then it is inevitable that the same compassion you possess will come back to haunt you-it may even cripple you .
when death comes , you ca n't help feeling for the life that has been lost and for the family members left behind . ''
his voice choked off , and megan drew herself even closer to him .
she knew that his last statement held personal meaning for him .
`` what exactly happened to your wife ? ''
she questioned softly .
pesh 's eyes closed .
`` jade had an undiagnosed clotting condition .
she was adopted , so she did n't know anything really about her family history .
she 'd always been in perfect health-she rarely even went to the doctor with the sniffles .
and after we 'd been married for three years , we decided it was time to have a baby . ''

she did n't know if she should try to go to him or not .

she regretted her decision when he turned to face her in the elevator .

his expression was agonizingly broken .

as the doors closed , her heart ached for him .

she knew any doctor hated to lose a patient , especially a young one , but this went far deeper than that .

from his behavior , megan knew that mary 's death had exposed a raw nerve in pesh-one that after two years still had n't healed .

somehow he had seen his wife in mary , and once again , he was n't able to save her .

after she had escorted mary 's body back upstairs to wait on the funeral home , megan went in search of pesh .

she could n't find him in any of the exam rooms , nor was he in the doctors ' lounge or break room .

finally , she went to kristi for answers .

`` did you see where dr. nadeen went ? ''

kristi gave her a sad smile .

`` you 'll probably find him on the roof . ''

megan 's brows shot up in surprise .

`` the roof ? ''

kristi nodded .

`` whenever he has a really bad day about his wife- '' she sucked in a breath when she realized she might have said too much .

at the thought of pesh 's grief , megan 's chest tightened in agony .

he was too good of a man to have to suffer like he did .

`` so he goes up to the roof ? ''

megan finished for kristi .

`` he likes to be alone to clear his head .

although none of us would say anything , he usually ends up pulling another shift to make up for the time he was gone . ''

of course pesh would do something like that .

he was honorable every moment of his life , even after those of immense grief .

even though she knew he probably wanted and needed to be alone , megan wanted to check on him .

she could n't bear the thoughts of him suffering so much .

`` um , if it 's okay , i think i 'll go ahead and take my dinner break . ''

kristi gave her a knowing look before nodding .

`` sure , honey .

go right ahead . ''

megan smiled before brushing past kristi .

she bypassed the break room where her purse was .

instead , she kept going .

after a brisk walk down the hall , she got to the authorized personnel only stairwell .

she did n't dare use the elevator shaft where trauma patients were brought in from being airlifted .

without hesitation , megan swiped her access card .

when the lock clicked , she flung the door open and started up the flights of stairs .

she was winded when she reached the top .

cautiously , her hand hovered over the doorknob .

she could n't help wondering what she might find on the other side .

would pesh be an emotional mess ?

would he be angry that she had interrupted his private grieving ?

shaking the thoughts from her head , she flung open the door .

as she stepped onto the roof , the air grew cooler .

a breeze rippled her scrubs .

her gaze spun around frantically until she found him .

pesh stood at the edge of the roof .

his usual ramrod straight posture was slumped , his broad shoulders drawn in .

although she could n't see his face , his gaze seemed fixed straight ahead into the night sky .

to add insult to injury , clouds blotted out the stars , cloaking everything in darkness .

tentatively , she started over to him .

`` hey , '' she said softly .

he whirled around in surprise .

her heart clenched at the sight of the tears sparkling in his eyes .

even in the darkness , she could see a blood-red flush entering his cheeks .

his hands quickly came up to swipe away the moisture from his eyes .

`` hello , '' he finally replied in a hoarse whisper .

they stood in an awkward silence , staring each other down .

finally , megan took a step forward to close the gap between them .

`` how did you know i was up here ? ''

he asked .

`` kristi told me . ''

`` hmm . ''

unable to stop herself , she reached out to touch his arm .

`` i 'm so sorry , pesh . ''

`` it is n't necessary . ''

she shook her head .

`` yes , it is .

you 're in pain ... you 've been in pain .

i ca n't help but feel sorry for what you 're going through . ''

his usually warm eyes took on a cold look .

`` you were in that elevator , too .

you have every right to be emotional .

maybe you should be more concerned with why you are n't weeping . ''

`` do n't , '' she murmured .

`` do n't what ? ''

`` do n't try to mask your pain by being someone you 're not or by pointing fingers at others .

that is n't you , and you ca n't fool me . ''

with a ragged sigh , pesh jerked his hand through his dark , wavy hair .

`` i 'm sorry .

that was completely uncalled for . ''

`` it 's okay . ''

`` no , it's- '' she silenced him by bringing her hand up to cover his lips .

when she pulled her hand away , he sighed .

`` talk to me , '' megan pleaded .

the clouds above them opened up , causing a slight drizzle to fall .

`` the death of a patient is never easy .

any doctor of worth , or nurse for that matter , must possess compassion .

then it is inevitable that the same compassion you possess will come back to haunt you-it may even cripple you .

when death comes , you ca n't help feeling for the life that has been lost and for the family members left behind . ''

his voice choked off , and megan drew herself even closer to him .

she knew that his last statement held personal meaning for him .

`` what exactly happened to your wife ? ''

she questioned softly .

pesh 's eyes closed .

`` jade had an undiagnosed clotting condition .

she was adopted , so she did n't know anything really about her family history .

she 'd always been in perfect health-she rarely even went to the doctor with the sniffles .

and after we 'd been married for three years , we decided it was time to have a baby . ''