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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Advice on a girl I want to ask out.
POST: Hey,
So there is a girl I want to ask out next week. Lets call her Susie.
Im in college not and am picky about the girls I choose to go out with. I'm not about just hooking up with people. Susie and I are coworkers, kinda. We are both Resident Assistants (RAs) - if that means anything. I talked with susie everyday last semester from school to personal life and such. We kinda flirted back and forth and she always laughs at my jokes no matter how bad or subtle they are. Over the break we have been snapchatting everyday over break.
She sent me a message a few days ago saying that she's excited to be single this semester after waiting for a guy to want to be with her all last semester. Her last boyfriend was over a year ago and hasn't been with anyone since.
Lately, I've been trying to move from snapchat to texting and she hasn't been replying as much unless its involving work really. Over snapchat she'll talk to me all day… its weird. Right?
Anyways, she comes back next tuesday and I want to ask her out. I'm not worried about things getting weird if she says no. it wont really change the work environment.
On tuesday, it'll just be us before other people get back. It's the day I want to ask her out. Should I asked her out or say anything along the line of "would you like to go out with me?"
Any advice would be great!
Thanks!
TL;DR: | Girl I like laughs at my jokes and we talk for at least an hour every day. She says she's excited to be single. I want to ask her out. Should I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Close Female Friend [16] with Asshole Friend [17]
POST: For reference, I am 18, male, and everyone in this story is in high school or currently graduating.
The girl is overtly antisocial and seemingly asexual. She is very to herself and generally does not show any interest in guys. She does not have many friends, but is friendly and has good intentions in what she does. I have been good friends with her for almost 2 years but we have talked less and less lately as this has begun.
The asshole friend is well, an asshole. He too does not have many real friends but has actual distasteful qualities, though he is sometimes fine to be around. Narcissistic and complains a lot to receive compliments. A little spoiled.
Lately they have been spending lots of time together. Many have noticed marks on their necks (hickies) and other parts of their bodies (chest, etc.) and suspicions are very high. They have not seriously socialized with anyone outside of themselves in the past few weeks.
Here's the problem - nobody likes it. While that is not a problem per se, I am not sure about how she feels about it or if she knows what is getting into.
What we don't know:
-Whether their relationship is purely physical
-Whether or not it is a legitimate relationship
TL;DR: | Close, socially secluded friend now believed to be in relationship with asshole friend. No real facts are known, but it is obvious there is something physical going on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (22/f) just called and asked a guy (30/m) out for coffee who doesn't drink alcohol, and he said yes, but I was tipsy while calling and asking.
POST: The title pretty much says it all (and I apologize profusely if this isn't the right forum in which to ask about this), but: I'm pretty interested in this guy, and I want our coffee date to go well, and then, you know, whatever happens after that. I feel bad, though, because I was tipsy when I called him. Should I admit that to him when I meet him for our date? I've not told him yet whether I drink or not, so he presumably has no preconceived notions of my habits. I feel bad withholding that information considering he may have some stance against drinking, but I also don't want to ruin anything pleasant before it begins.
TL;DR: | should I tell the guy I'm about to go on a first date with who doesn't drink that I was tipsy when I asked him out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Friends leaving me out. I feel like a middle-schooler. Feeling really shitty and need some advice.
POST: 2 good friends are the culprits. One, we will name Abby and the other is Fran. We are all 21.
Me and Abby have been friends for about 3 years now (college friends). Got really tight, went out together, did a road trip together.
Now me and Fran got really tight about 1.5 years ago. We just clicked and started hanging out every day. Now we live together in a house we share with other girls.
Fran and Abby met through me. Since their first meeting, I had been bending over backwards to get Abby and Fran friendly with each other. Turns out I did too good of a job. Fran turned 21 literally a week ago. But prior to that, Abby and me had gone out to the bars, etc. all the while feeling bad that Fran couldn't join us. Now all of a sudden, Fran and Abby are the duo to be reckoned with. We all hung out earlier today and they were discussing their plans to go out later tonight. I kept silent until Fran asked me "Are you coming?" I hemmed and hawed, because I didn't want to seem too gung-ho about a plan I wasn't even made aware of, and wasn't explicitly invited to. So I said, "I dont know yet but I will let you know"
Hours pass. My boyfriend comes over and we are just hanging out. I go downstairs hours later, assuming Fran didn't go out. Turns out her light is off, etc. so I text her AND Abby: "Did you guys end up going out?" No response from Abby. Fran's response: "Yup! haha. kinda lame though" I respond with "very classy of you ladies."
I am livid right now. I have never been the one to be territorial of my friendships, but I feel highly underappreciated right now. It's as if Fran was just biding her time til she became legal to usurp my friends and Abby has just been mindlessly going along with it, both conveniently forgetting just who introduced them.
TL;DR: | my friends met through me and are now doing stuff without inviting me despite the fact that I always made it a point to include everyone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Advice for smoking neighbors?
POST: This hasn't been a problem until recently, but for the past few months my apartment has been smelling of cigarette smoke a few days out of the week when I come home. I know my upstairs neighbor smokes, though when I spoke to her about it she claims she 'only smokes outside'. But this is a gross, deep apartment smoke smell, not a passing in the breeze waft. I spoke to my landlord about it, but she says she has called the neighbor who denies it, so won't do anything further. There are only three units in the house, one belonging to me, one to the smoking neighbor and the other my landlord keeps as an office space. She definitely doesn't smoke.
So, reddit, what would you do if it was you?
TL;DR: | Cigarette smell seeping into my apartment, upstairs neighbor denies smoking inside and landlord will not pursue further than a phone call. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My (28F) boyfriend (32M) wants to donate sperm to his friends
POST: My boyfriend and I have been in a three-year relationship and have been talking extensively about spending the rest of our lives together. Today, he informed me that in the past year, he's been discussing the possibility of donating his sperm to a lesbian couple he knows with the couple. He decided he wants to move ahead with the arrangement and be involved in the child's life somehow.
I am in shock and I feel extremely uncomfortable, anxious, sad, and angry about this. My boyfriend never brought this up or asked how I felt about this arrangement. I don't know who this couple is and I've never met them, and yet I feel they may be a part of the rest of my life, along with their child. When I told my boyfriend I was very uncomfortable about this, he attacked me and said I was close-minded and that I should be proud of him for being kind and being "chosen" by this couple. I'm at a loss for words.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What are the angles I should be approaching this from and what questions should I be thinking about or asking? I feel so lost.
TL;DR: | My long-term boyfriend told me he's going to donate sperm to a lesbian couple and wants to have a relationship with the child. I feel very uncomfortable about the situation and don't know what to do next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Want to stop getting depressed everytime I feel lonely
POST: So basically I just moved in to college in a new state with no one from my high school going here. School's been going on for 2 weeks now and I have made a couple friends. Also I recently joined a lot of clubs (most of them haven't actually started yet though), so I don't think my problem is necessarily how to stop being lonely, bc I've been working on that and I know it'll get better over time.
My real big issue is that everytime I feel lonely (basically the weekends bc I'm not seeing people in class) I get super depressed about it. It's really annoying and frustrating that I can't just enjoy time by myself. Back in high school I loved alone time. Obviously I don't want to always feel lonely, but when I'm done hanging out with friends and go back to my dorm, I wish I didn't get depressed about being alone.
Also, the girl that I feel is my closest friend I've made here (I'm M btw), I'm really into her. I've already asked her out and got rejected, and I know it's ok, that stuff happens. But it really sucks hanging out with her and her friends and they talk about guys she's into infront of me. Obviously I still really dig her, but she's not into me, and I can't just cut her off bc she's probably the best friend I have here. So I guess that's another thing I need advice for. Tbh I've been having girl troubles for like years now. I think I'm decent looking and most people consider me a funny and kind guy. I just don't know why I never have luck with this stuff.
So if anyone has advice that'd be awesome. Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | how can I enjoy time alone without getting depressed from loneliness AND what do I do if my only close friend as of now is the girl who rejected me but I still have feelings for |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20/f] am confident about myself inside and out, yet can't help getting jealous in my relationship with my s/o [20/F]. How much flexibility is too much?
POST: We've been seeing each other for a few months. When we became exclusive she continued to be involved with others and essentially cheated. I found it in myself to forgive her (my own reasons and personal choice).
We are the typical deeply in love bunch and everything seems great. I am attractive and have a good personality to match. I give her great sex (trust me), food, love and devotion but try to allow her a respectable amount of personal freedom and space. (I'm not just making this up).
I mostly don't worry because I am secure of myself but she is hyper-sexed and always has other females and bodies on her mind. She is always crushing on internet babes (most of which I offer the same or better).
I feel like my qualities and actions become redundant and honestly it hurts sometimes.
To give her some credit, I know that she loves me and is absolutely interested in having me in her life. I sometimes communicate concerns and she just apologizes and tries to fix the issue. I feel that I should stop trying to change her and remove myself from the situation if I have to.
I would appreciate some insight. Am I being silly? (She loves me and adores me like no one has before). Should I care about internet nudes if I know I'm the real thing and more? Am I going to encounter this anywhere I go? (I have been in other relationships, including long term with a male)
What would you do?
TL;DR: | I'm the bomb. S/o cherishes me yet always crushing/flirting/porn-ing. Should I care? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my mom [51F] makes fun of my height and it's making me resent her a lot and I feel guilty about it
POST: I know am not a perfect human being and I haven't being a good son,(I've told my mom very hurtful things at times) but the past month I've being taking care of my mom because she couldn't walk on her own because of a stroke. A PT had shown me how to hold her as we walked and she'd always make fun of my height. I couldn't leave her so I just took it but everyday the hate in me grew and grew. I've gotten to the point where I just want to leave home and cut off my ties and never talk to her again but I can't because I have no issues with my other family. She always makes fun of my height in front of her friends and when I tell her that I don't like it she just ignores me.
I actually think I hate her and I am feeling guilty about it cause she has always provided for me and never refused to support me but she digs into me about it and there's nothing I can do about being short. I have no problem being 5'4 but I think she does so that's why I want to cut off all ties when I leave because if she can't love me with something I can't control then there is no use trying to change her.
She also says she has a problem with me being quiet but when I talk to her she acts aloof. She likes to direct me when I'm doing simple things and micromanaging me and when I tell her to stop she refuses. I've even shouted at her and told her hurtful things that I later regret but I don't know what else to do because she doesn't listen to me when I tell her my concerns. I feel bad that I hate her because she has done a lot for me and I don't like shouting and saying hurtful things. Like I said she isn't a bad person and this long rant shouldn't shape your opinion of her ,(she even helped out a girl who has family issues and treats people really well)but she is really hurting my self esteem and when I confront her she doesn't even acknowledge my frustrations.
TL;DR: | I want to get far away from my mom for my mental health and self esteem but I don't want to hurt her or my other family members. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Client hitting on me knowing I'm in a relationship with someone
POST: I'm a massage therapist and I had a client recently hit on me.
During the massage we were talking and I mentioned I have a boyfriend. A few days later my boss texts him asking how the massage went. He thought she was me and asked me out. She let me read over the texts and he mentioned he knew I was dating someone but we could still go out anyway.
Me (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) haven't been dating long but we've been best friends for five years. I would never go after another man but I also don't want to lose a client.
TL;DR: | A client of mine hit on me and asked me out knowing I'm with someone but I don't want to lose business or risk my relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: We had a great first date (M22, she's F22), but then I tried texting her today and she got very short with me
POST: The past week, we were texting a lot, having great convos, she occasionally initiating, overall it seemed promising. Then Friday I took her out for drinks and after we went to a vintage arcade for a half hour. My impression was we each had a great time, and at the end of the date, we hugged and she held it for a while, I def thought there was "something there". Then I made the mistake of not kissing her and ofc immediately regretted it.
When I got home, I texted her that I had a great time, she responded in kind, and we mostly left it at that. The next two days for me were very busy, because I moved Saturday and then Sunday was mothers day. So we didn't talk all weekend which I thought was fine, I knew she was busy over the weekend too.
Then I tried texting her this morning, and while she responded she was very short and went into no detail. I responded with something that in retrospect feels stupid because I really wanted to get a convo going. But that was at like 9am and so far no response.
I def made a mistake texting her in the morning like I did, because we each work and so I chose a bad time. But now it's been all day and the convo is dead. Which I'm fine with, don't need to text all day every day, but I really would love a second date because I thought we hit it off.
But now I feel like I've killed our conversational momentum for today and that texting her again after she didn't answer me earlier (~9am) would seem needy. Does anybody have insight? Should I wait a day or two to text her again? Follow up tonight? Goddammit girls stress me out
TL;DR: | Had what I thought was a great date Friday, but didn't end w a kiss. After a busy weekend of not talking, I tried texting her today and she was very short with me. Did I screw up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [33 M] finally broke up after a year and a half
POST: So, after much courage needed, about a few weeks ago I broke up with him.
Oh man, it was like a sigh of relief. I felt pretty good. I didn't let him down hard, I wasn't an asshole.
And neither was he.
He took it so well but I could see the moment I broke his heart. He told me that if I changed my mind I could tell him and depending the circumstances that we would get back together.
But I don't want to. Although, I can't help but feel so bad.
Every time I see him, I want to say "I'm sorry" and take him back. I can't stand seeing people sad because of me. But I don't want to. I know that once we get back, first few months are total fun but then after a while I'm back to square one. He just looks kinda down and has stopped frequenting where we volunteer.
I don't know how to shake off the feeling. Did I make a mistake? Did I end a relationship with an actually nice guy who loved me?
Please, tell me this feeling of regret will pass. I'm in this weird conflict that "fuck, I fucked it up" and "this is amazing".
Though, I think I know where it is coming from. Ever since high school I have been in relationships. I guess I'm not used to being on my own. And I fear that I will get lonely and seek him out only for selfish reasons.
But all I know is that it's over. For now. And I hope I don't do anything stupid.
Thank you all for your encouraging comments. Really helped me a lot.
TL;DR: | A few weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend and now I'm scared I'll cave in and get back together with him even though deep down I don't want to but also wondering if I fucked this up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] need help interpreting behaviour by [19 F].
POST: I need advice on what to do about a situation involving myself and an old friend from high school. Here's what went down:
Me and some friends went out to the bar in my hometown last weekend. I was relatively sober. Ran into a female friend from high school who I used to have quite the little crush on. Now, I hadn't really seen or talked to her for ~2 years, but from social media I knew that she had a boyfriend.
Anyways, we start talking and it's very clear to me that she is more than a little inebriated. While I'm not the best interpreter of how drunk a girl is, it seemed to me that she still had a firm hold of all her faculties and was able to hold a solid conversation and she wasn't stumbling around everywhere. Now, very soon in the time I had been talking to her, she was all over me - getting real close to me and touching and flirting. According to my friends that I was with, it was blatantly clear that she was into me.
I was skeptical, because I knew she had a boyfriend and she was also drunk. However, she started talking about how shitty her relationship is and how she used to have a crush on me in high school and a bunch of not subtle things like that. She then dragged me out onto the d-floor to dance. She was really getting into it, and I think she wanted me to kiss her, but I refrained because she was drunk and I wasn't. Eventually her friends (who were her ride home) came and told her that they were leaving, so she told me goodbye and hugged me. I told her to text me and she said that she would.
She still has not texted me. So how should I interpret this? Was she just drunk and lashing out at her boyfriend? Or was it a case of "sober thoughts are drunk actions" and she's actually interested in me? Any advice is appreciated!
TL;DR: | Girl that I went to high school with was really drunk and hitting on me, even though she has a boyfriend. What's the deal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'd like to be more involved in the reddit community. What steps should I take?
POST: I wasn't even entirely sure what subreddit to post this in, as it got removed for 'askreddit', but I feel discouraged from even posting due to all the specific rules of reddit.
I in no way mean to complain about the structure of reddit; I understand it is necessary for reddit to function smoothly. But sometimes I really feel like I need to take a college course on Reddit's rules and regulations before attempting to post any sort of content. I have attempted to post multiple times in different subreddits and I often get automated, moderator notifications listing a plethora of reasons my post could have been taken down.
Does anyone have suggestions on how to understand/simplify 'proper reddit etiquette', or pages that may help alleviate my confusion? Becuase I honestly feel as though reddit can be this sort of clique that you have to know inside information about before you can actively participate.
TL;DR: | I don't understand the rules and etiquette of reddit, but I'd like to participate more and stop being another 'lurker'. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the biggest injustice you experienced at school?
POST: When I was in year 8 (UK school, age 13) I was in the second set out of about 6 for English, and there were too many people in the group. The teacher did a test to see who was good/bad enough to get dropped. I came 6th out of 30 students and I was the one that got dropped because my "attitude to work" score was about as low as it could be. (Attitude to work score was given by my school to show you how hard you were working and how seriously you were taking the subject. Out of the 10 or so subjects I had 4 that were the highest possible score and 4 the lowest. My attitude to the subject mostly hinged on my teachers) My mom then phoned up the school and guilt tripped them into putting me back, like a boss. I'm pretty sure the teachers in the English department hated me from then on.
TL;DR: | Dropped a set in English class because attitude to work was shoddy despite grades being good. Mom sorted it out, like a boss. Put them teachers in their places. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (17 M) girlfriend (16 F) calls other guys her Husband
POST: Sorry if this questions sounds rather immature, but I just wanted someone elses opinion.
My girlfriend calls several of her guy friends her husband and they call her their wife. Is this unusual? I've never heard from any of my friends about their girlfriends doing this before, but I can't be sure if this is a pretty thing common or not. It makes me a little uncomfortable but It really isn't the end of the world.
I've never seen how she acts around the guys she calls her husbands because she usually hangs with them when shes at camp or up skiing and I'm not there, but I know about it because a guy I sort of know is one of those guys and he told me that my girlfriend is his wife jokingly one day. She also calls some female friends of hers her wife so it's not like it's only restricted to guys.
Obviously communication is important in a relationship, and I'll probably talk to her about how it makes me uncomfortable, but I wanted an outside opinion about it as well, sort of to decide how I want to approach it.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend calls several guy friends "Husband" and they call her "Wife", is it a common thing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with [17 F] I can't bring myself to kiss her. Shy guy here.
POST: I'm in junior year of high school and I ended up going out with the girl of my dreams. We both just completely love each other and we've been going out for one week officially, but we've had dates before for over a month when we weren't officially going out.
I come over her house A LOT (Even before we were officially dating) to do just anything. We cuddle a lot and what not, but when she is looking right at me where I can just kiss her. I just freeze and can't do it. I was going to ask if I could kiss her, but that's not the way to go. I feel like a part of me dies when I have the chance to kiss her, but I just can't seem to do it.
I never kissed any girl before and never had a girlfriend. She knows this, but didn't say anything about it. How do I build the confidence to kiss her? Should I just peck her lips? When is the best time to do this?
TL;DR: | Going out with a girl officially for a week (Known her longer than that). Never had a girlfriend or kiss before so I freeze when I have the chance to kiss. How and what should I do about this? Best approach? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23 F] fiance just left me [22 M] and told me she didn't love me after 6 years.
POST: 3 days ago my fiance and partner for 6 years just left me and suddenly started dating another guy 1 day after we break up. She told me she didnt love me and hasn't for a long time, the weird thing was she didnt let of to it. It hit blind sided the hell out of me.
Come today i find out shes dating her co-worker who i suspected was the man she was now dating. She claims she never cheated and didnt plan on leaving me for him. But i really think its bullshit, i mean she lied to me about loving me for years, how is lying about having a plan so crazy?
Im just venting and im really fucking angry/sad/upset everything.
Also this all comes after i just got on anti-depressant/anti-anxiety and am getting my emotions all in order.
TL;DR: | Fiance left me after 6 years, told me she didnt love me, and is now dating her co-worker. How the hell do i deal with this everyone? Im really lost here... |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Ontario, Canada] Not allowed to collect my stuff after a break up? Told to go to civil court.
POST: Tonight I drove over to my now ex-girlfriends apartment with the intent of collecting the few things I had at her place. One of the things I had left there was a router I purchased with my credit card, for me, since she did not own one. I gave her the option to either e-mail me the cost of the router, or I would take it with me along with the rest of my few possessions. She freaked out about it and said I couldn't take it and that she wouldn't pay me for it. So I unplugged it and that's where shit hit the fan. She pushed me down and was trying to grab it from my hands, scratching at me for it, etc. Regular stuff. At no point in this situation did I lay my hands on her. Eventually she called an ex of hers to come to her apartment to "help" and "have me removed" She started screaming and telling me to leave. Which I calmly said I would do, once I had my stuff together. (She did allow me into her apartment.) Eventually after much struggling to collect the router, and her ex on the way to her apartment I said I was going to phone the police, which I did. She threw my router into a bedroom and would not let me in the door. The woman on the phone (911) said it would be best to wait outside, so out I went. After giving my statement to the police they said I was not allowed to take my router, and that I would have to take her to civil court to try and get it back. But the other items I was allowed to take without an issue? This is where my question is. Why is the router considered a purchase for "the house" when I do not live there, and I purchased it? It is mine, but she has been allowed to keep it unless I try to take her to claim court for it? Is there another way besides that?
Sorry if my post isn't written how they normally are in this subreddit. It's my first time visiting here.
TL;DR: | police wouldn't let me collect an item even though it is mine, and told me if I want my stuff back I would have to go to civil court. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Just got into my first car accident, had a perfect driving record before this.
POST: On my way to class this morning (female college senior here), a car up front (about 5 cars away from me) slamed on the brakes and made an illegal left turn, and all the cars behind that car, including my car, had to slam on the brakes to avoid crushes. However, my car did not come to a complete stop and ended up rear ending the car in front of me. No one was hurt, there was no damage to the car in front of me, but the front of my car got damaged pretty badly.
After we pulled over the girl told me it wasn't my fault, and we both got on the phone with our parents since neither of us was sure what to do 'cause neither of us have had accidents nor ever been pulled over before. We ended up calling the police, and the girl and I had a really nice chat while waiting for the results. She was really nice and all, which made the process seemed way smoother.
However, I drive a really nice car and I am now worried about the cost of fixing my car, my parents told me to go get a quote to see how much money is needed to fix the car; I am emotionally stressed because it is kinda right before finals, and I had just decided to quit my part-time job next semester; my parents will probably help me to cover the costs, but I feel really bad to ask for that and I'm stressed since I'm pretty sure the insurance will skyrocket after this...
Not sure what I'm gonna do from here, just wanted to get this off my chest so I can recover faster and get ready for finals and somehow pay back my parents.
TL;DR: | my car got damaged in an accident and it's gonna cost probably quite a bit to fix it, it is my first car accident, so I am emotionally and financially stressed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [27/f] Should my mother still be paying my travel expenses?
POST: My mom left when I was about 6 years old. Since then, her and her husband have lived all over the country. She's typically always paid for travel expenses, but in the past few years it's become my responsibility.
Now I'm starting to get a little bitter about bearing the brunt of these costs to see her. First off, when she left, she took my dad to the cleaners and that included my college fund (so I paid for college--Dad helped a whole lot, but I still have loans). In addition, she's never paid for any major costs--medical, food, shelter, clothing, classes or activities, etc.--my entire life. Those were all my Dad which he did willingly and without complaint (well, minimal complaint about her lack of a contribution).
My mother and her husband lead a very comfortable life. They've traveled around the world and their homes, while not exorbitant, are very nice. They go out often and enjoy a rich social life.
She started insisting I go halve-sies when I was in college. Now it's become my full responsibility. I make 35K a year and live in a major city that's not cheap, and I have loans and medical expenses to pay off. Is it unfair of me to expect her to either travel to me to see me, or pay for my ticket to see her? Now she's moving to a place where it's typically $600-700 round trip and no way can I afford that.
This Xmas I compromised and told her I'd take the (18 hour) train ride to come see her, because it will be in a city where my grandparents live and I want to see them. I asked her to pay for half (like, $100) and she's being weird about it.
Advice?
TL;DR: | Mom is insisting I pay to see her, but she's never covered any costs for squirting me out. Who should pay for travel? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] and three other students [20M, 20F, 19F] feel awkward sharing lunch with South African workers [29M, 31M, 33M, 48M] [Non-Romantic]
POST: I am part of a group of four 19-20 year old university students helping to build an open-air community filter factory in rural South Africa. The four of us are middle class Americans here on a research grant, and the factory is being paid for by a nonprofit affiliated with our university.
We have paid a builder to construct the office, and 2-3 other guys around 30 years old often help out during the day.
We arrive around 8:30AM so are hungry for lunch around 12PM. We normally bring the basic ingredients for PB&J with us and drive to a nearby gas station to eat the sandwiches. We do this because sharing is a strong cultural value they have here, especially with food. Until now, our gas station trips haven't been a big deal.
The first day, the workers asked us to bring lunch for them the next day. Realizing that would set a precedent, we contacted our community partner, who told us we didn't need to do that since it was not our job to provide them with food.
Today (1 week in, 3 weeks left), we didn't have much work since the materials had not arrived for construction. When one of us told the guys that we were going to the gas station for lunch, one of them tried to come with us and another asked us to buy them a loaf of bread. We felt terrible declining both of them and were quite awkward about the whole situation.
How should we tell them that we are taking our lunch break on days when there is no work to do? Is it unethical to not provide them with cheap lunch ingredients (some of the men are volunteers and get paid nothing for their labor)? We feel that we are already providing a lot for them in helping to build the filter factory and paying for all of its construction. Are we obligated to do these other small tasks for them? Any suggestions on our situation would greatly be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Helping build an open air filter factory in South Africa and the workers are asking for small favors. Are we obligated to fulfill their wishes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 23M, questions about what is appropriate etiquette for letting other males touch/flirt w/my GF
POST: My 20F GF is really attractive and gets lots of male attention.
The other day her best guy friend (besides myself) kissed her on the cheek in front of me. It really made me uncomfortable and I considered it to be flirtatious.
She goes over to his house and drinks hard liquor w/ him and his GF. I was ok with this until I learned he had cheated on his GF before. Hard liquor really makes me uncomfortable as its often used to loosen women up.
Also I am not to sure how to deal with other men complimenting her in front of me. We were at the beach and this guy we had never met walked by and said "nice dress" and checked my GF out. He apologized to me as he walked away.
TL;DR: | I am not sure what to do/how to handle it when my attractive GF gets male attention, verbal and or physical. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I need help figuring out why my brain goes haywire?
POST: I may not be putting this in the right place, but its the first one I thought of. I have no idea how to start this, so I'll just explain what goes on and then go from there.
Every so often my brain decides to go haywire and speed up my thoughts but slow down everything else. I am the only one that notices it as it only makes things appear faster and slower. It lasts for about three minutes usually, and as far as I know, there is no trigger. Below is an example of what happens:
I'm sitting at my computer, everything fine and dandy, when suddenly it is as if someone is fast forwarding my thoughts and every sound I hear. I am still able to understand everything, but its at a speed of about 10x normal. Simultaneously, every movement I or anyone else makes seems to be in slow motion. When talking, I feel like the words are coming out before my mouth can even form them. After a few minutes, it goes away without a trace.
I've never told anyone about this before, because it is really hard to explain and barely ever happens. But in the past month, it has occurred four times, once while I was driving. This is starting to worry me a bit. Can someone please shed some light on what I hope is nothing to worry about?
TL;DR: | My brain will randomly speed up my thoughts/hearing and slow down any movement at the same time. What is going on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Dog won't stop crying, refuses to sleep inside when it's freezing. How do I make him stop?
POST: My childhood dog is thirteen and has primarily been an outside dog (my parent's choice). In the winter and when it starts to get REALLY cold, we always let him into the garage. It's a lot more heated and we put him his bed with lots of blankets. It doesn't compare to the COLD freezing temperature outside right now (40 degrees) and the chilly winds. Every winter, he lets us know when it is getting cold and runs inside the house and into the heated garage and even in the morning, he refuses to come outside cause he is so warm inside.
For the first time in 13 years, he REFUSES to sleep inside. The other day, the temperature dropped significantly so we let him into the garage and he CRIED for HOURS and scratched the door / wouldn't let us sleep, so we let him OUTSIDE and he went to sleep in his bed/doghouse without saying a word. Today it is supposed to drop to 30 degrees and we can't let him sleep outside, so we let him in and he refused to step in, so we relaxed him and put him in the warm bed. It's been about an hour and he won't stop scratching the door asking to be let out. It is going to be freezing tonight (under 30 degrees) and since he's an older dog, we can't let him sleep outside... but he also does not want to be inside the garage. Why is he refusing to sleep there for the first time when he's never complained?
I will say that we also tried at one point to let him sleep in the laundry room with his bed/water and he BARKED for hours (worse!). Idk what to do at this point.. I don't want him to spend the whole night crying, but I can't let him freeze either.
Also, there is always that person which suggests something drastic like giving him away and those replies will be IGNORED so please do not waste your time. He's 13 and has been with us since he was 1 month old. Again - don't waste your time. And again, we tried to let him sleep indoors and he refused so all who suggest that didn't read the paragraph above.
TL;DR: | Dog refuses to sleep inside when it's freezing cold for the first time in 13 years; can't let him sleep outside when it is this cold but don't want him to cry the whole night. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: People keep saying My (f24) boyfriend (m25) is ugly, and it's getting me down.
POST: My friends and family keep telling me I'm too good for my new boyfriend, they keep asking why I'm with him and it's really getting to me.
I've been friends with him a long time and I never fancied him until we got together one night and pretty much stayed together. He's lovely, sweet, kind funny and we have a lot in common.
I'm fairly average and plain. I'm not ugly but I'm definitely not pretty. I'm fairly skinny.
He's very nerdy, and very typical looking, quite overweight, glasses beard etc.
I wouldn't say he's handsome but when it comes to sex it's amazing and I and attracted to him.
Even his friends keep asking why I'm with him and it's really upsetting me. I realise he's not "handsom" but it makes me feel bad because I really like him and he's so lovely it upsets me that people say this stuff. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | my family and friends say my boyfriends ugly and I'm too good for him to the point It's really upsetting me and getting to me and I don't know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 F] have a bf [26 M] who I recently found out he is passive aggressive and always plays victim, how do I snap him out of it?
POST: we have been together for 2 and a half years now and we have gone through a lot together. But sometimes when he gets angry he gives me the silent treatment and its very complicated to talk about serious stuff like our relationship problems, because he just plays the victim. I am aware I cannot change him, but my therapist told me that if I started being more assertive and setting more boundaries he would start to change a little around me because he would see I don't tolerate certain behaviours. The thing is I don't exactly know how to do that.
Today for example I told him hey, I just wanted to tell you that it makes me feel ignored when I text you and I see u read it but didnt say anything back, I would like it if you say anything for me to know that you are not ignoring me. He send me a sarcastic emoji and I answered that I was just telling him how I felt. And instead of aknowledging his behaviour or sth he just said: why do u wanna be with me if I always do everything wrong? (I usually never critized him if I didnt like something out of fear). So since I felt he was playong victim again I told him I just wanted to get that out so that I wouldnt hold anger inside for that in the future. And he didnt answer, few hours later I asked him about a flight he was taking and he landed and didnt say a word.
Do u guys have any tips to snap these kind of people out of their behaviour?
TL;DR: | My bf is passive aggressive and always plays the victim, I know I cant change him but I need some tricks to deal with his behaviour |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 F] have been avoiding certain sex positions with my boyfriend [24 M] due to my size.
POST: I'm in a fairly new relationship with a really great guy, we've been seeing each other for about 3 months and everything between us is great.
Recently though he's been wanting me to get on top during sex WHICH I honestly would love BUT I'm a larger girl, about a size 16, and I've always been self-concious about my weight and how it would feel for him. So I've been putting it off. People have told me that I wouldn't crush him or anything but I guess I don't have the reassurance I need and I feel like if I did get on top I would be too much or it wouldn't feel good and be super uncomfortable for him. I know i would just be constantly worrying about it. He tells me that he would love it if I got on top as well which makes me feel worse.
Am I being irrational? Has anyone else had this problem with their partners, male or female? Any tips/tricks?I would love some imput!
TL;DR: | I'm a size 16 and I'm worried I'll turn off my boyfriend during sex on top due to my weight. Should this be something I should worry about? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Thinking about getting mint need advice
POST: I have been trying to use an excel spread sheet to keep track of my accounts (savings, checking, and credit card) and am wondering weather mint is a better option. The spread sheet allows me to plan about a month ahead with my paychecks and bills being fairly regular. I'm wondering if mint would allow me to do this without my headaches of not having the spreadsheet mesh perfectly with my account.(I always seem to be off by a dollar or two after a month or so) it would also be nice to see the other information that mint provides in one place. My only concern is the security. I have lifelock(also wondering if this is a good investment) and would this protect me if there was a data breach with mint?
TL;DR: | Is mint useful for short and long term planning and would lifelock protect me in the event of a security breach? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M 20] broke up with my girlfriend [F 20] less than a month back. I'm running out of ways to cope with the breakup and I'm spiralling down into the mess I was earlier. What should I do?
POST: I broke up with my girlfriend of one year less than a month back. I was a mess for about five days, and then I forced myself to push those thoughts back.
I made a lot of lame attempts to get my mind off of her. I went to the gym, I joined Tinder, I maintained my regular "funny guy" persona around my friends. But it can only take me so far.
I fear I've reached the stage where the fact that these are all shallow substitutes has caught up with me. I'm spiralling back into the mess I was.
One way I tried to keep my head above water was to not stay alone with my thoughts. This lead me to constantly ask my friends to make plans, or initiate them myself in order to get out of the house. They've been extremely supportive going by the fact that they think this breakup hasn't affected me too deeply (I haven't brought them up to speed on the wreck I am, just because).
I can sense the fact that they can't hang out so much so often. And I understand that completely. I was hoping for an alternative solution because I feel I'm quickly running out of options. Everything I tried worked well, but only till now. Reality has caught up to me.
TL;DR: | Hung out with friends really often to keep my mind off a breakup. I realise it can't go on like that forever. Any other ideas? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[22F] boyfriend's[26M] mom is invading our personal life way too much.
POST: My boyfriend's mom has moved across the country when he was 4 and left him and his sister with his dad. They stayed on good terms and she visited a few times over the course of 20 years.
Fast forward to present day. She decided to up and move her and her husband(boyfriend's step dad) back here, because he 22 year old daughter got pregnant and had a baby and she wants to be close to her grandson because she wasn't there for her own kids.
Well she moved down here and has been staying with my boyfriend for the past 5 months, it was supposed to be a short stay.... My boyfriend and I are coming up on our 1 year.
I do not live with my boyfriend but spend the night 2-3 times a week. At first I was fine with the new situation but now I feel like they are wearing out their welcome. Her daughter has also temporarily lost custody of her son and his mom stepped in and took him so now the baby is living there as well. She has started to make comments about how I and her son need to have kids, and constantly tries to talk to us about our sex life(which is great, but has gone down a tad bit since they moved in and are always there).
How do I talk to my boyfriend about this without making him upset because he has no problem with the situation so far. I don't want to overstep any boundaries.
TL;DR: | boyfriend's mom is butting in on his home life, our relationship, our sex life, and looks like she's not going anywhere soon. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being salty.
POST: This happened yesterday night, and I can't get it off my mind so here's my fuck up.
So, I've been friends with this girl for about 3 months, and I'd always had the sense that she liked me, so when I talked to her, I would always be quite suggestive with what I said (subtly so, but nonetheless suggestive,) and she seemed to be the same way.
Around a month ago, I finally got the balls to ask her out, I'd never been good at that type of thing and I didn't really want to be rejected, so I waited to ask. It turns out that she didn't feel the same way about me and that "we're just good friends." I wasn't going to let that be the end of our friendship, because I still enjoyed speaking to her and we got on quite well.
Anyways, Last night, I'm round at my mate's house and it's getting quite late. We're all watching 22 Jump Street, and towards the end of the film, she starts getting closer to me and then leans in towards me to try and kiss me.
Now; here's the obvious fuck up...
The natural reaction for this would to be to go with the kiss - HOWEVER, something in my brain instantly reminded me of what she told me about a month ago, I pulled back and said
"I thought we were just friends?"
It then proceeded to get really fucking awkward in the room, with my friends staring blankly at me with a clear "What the fuck" look in their eyes. Anyways, she left after a few minutes more of watching the film, and the atmosphere never became any better, ending with me driving home at around 1am.
So yeah...
TL;DR: | Girl I had a "crush" on leant in for a kiss, I rejected her because I thought we were "Just friends." |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Where's the awkwardest place you've run into somebody you knew?
POST: Mine would have to be when I was about 7? My mother had taken me out with her friends and one of her friends kids as well to a festival. Only it wasn't a regular festival it was a **gay** festival. Literally a festival of gay pride. I don't know how my mom didn't stop to think before taking me that it could have had repercussions on my child psyche. Luckily, it didn't(Not gay). As we were walking around we happen to cross paths with a very familiar face whom I knew to be a counselor at the elementary school I was going to at the time.
I can recall his shirt being off and tucked into his back pocket, surrounded by his buddies. He took one glance at me and mom and his jaw just kind of dropped. I was like "OH! That's Mr.Jim!" and he nervously said hello to me and my mom and we went on our way. A couple weeks after maybe, I quietly asked him while at school if He really liked that festival. He said he did and quickly shushed me in a polite way. Something I never forgot, could be why I'm as open-minded as I am with that sort of thing.
TL;DR: | Mom took me to a Gay Pride festival as a kid. Saw a counselor there from my elementary school. **Am not gay now.** |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [26 M] even bother telling her [20 F] my feelings or just keep it to myself?
POST: Hi!
I met this girl (we call her Beth) 4 months ago at the birthday party of my best friends girlfriend. We talked quite a bit there and about 2 weeks later my friend asks me if I wanted to go to prague for the weekend with him, his girlfriend and Beth. We went there and had a great time.
After that weekend me and Beth started to hang out frequently and everything got more serious. We started going on dates and started to sleep with each other and overall having a great time.
Fast forward to about a month ago, I was hanging out with my best friend and his girlfriend and suddenly his girl mentions that Beth has told her she now has a new boyfriend. I was awe struck since she never mentioned that there was anybody beside me. I texted her, asking her if this is true, and she told me that she reconnected with a guy she met last summer, they went out once and he asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend because he's abroad til September now.
My problem is that since he is abroad, we still hang out / go out on the regular. I dont know if she knows that this is kinda hard for me since I got feelings for her. Should I tell her that I cant do this anymore because I'm hurting everytime she tells me about him? I would really love to keep her company because I really like her, but this is kinda hard.
Thanks (I hope this is understandable, english is not my first language)
TL;DR: | Connected with a girl, she suddenly has a boyfriend out of nowhere. Still wants to hang out because he's abroad, but I get hurt when I see her. Should I tell her my feelings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: (CAN) I have a 1995 Toyota Corolla that has served me well for 4 years. It needs a new timing belt, worth it? (A bit long)
POST: Hi there, I'm hoping you can help me make a decision. This is objectively a great car. It has needed next to no repairs since I bought in April 2011 for $1800. The mechanic did recommend changing the timing belt back then, but I was a student and decided that the $900 estimate was too steep. Now I am in a much better financial position, and have had a couple different mechanics mention the timing belt during routine oil changes. I understand if I don't replace it before it breaks, the car will be totalled and a complete loss. My new mechanic says he can do it for less than $900 (he's currently pricing out an estimate, I'm thinking ~$700).
We are planning on staying with this car or another very similar one for about 3 more years until we have our first baby. At first glace $700 seems like it's not that bad, but we did just have to replace the starter - that cost $280 with labour. So we're looking at $1000 repairs or jumping ship after having invested $280 to get it running again. I believe I could sell the car for at least $1500 because these type of used cars are in high demand in my city and it's definitely a seller's market.
My concern is that if we buy another used car (perhaps a newer Toyota Corolla) we could end up having to replace its timing belt or have another equally expensive repair in the near future.
What do you all think? I'm leaning towards the repair, but doesn't $1000 of repairs on an $1800 sound too expensive? On the other hand, it's been good to us for 4 years, so $1000 over four years is not too bad at all.
Sorry for the long post, thank you in advance for your help.
TL;DR: | Bought 1995 Corolla for $1800 CDN 4 years ago, replace timing belt or sell and buy another, newer used car? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I get myself to get shit done? How do you do it?
POST: It has become somewhat of a problem to me. I know I will get in trouble (read: sacrifice sleep or a better grade), but I actively seek distraction in order not to get shit done (and by that, I mean mostly university assignments). The saddest part is that I don't even enjoy it. I don't do anything fun, like playing games or the piano, and I even use it as an excuse not to socialize, because I think I'm just about to start, but then I don't. Mostly I will read stupid stuff on the internet, and it's not even reddit's fault, I would always find something. How can I motivate myself?
TL;DR: | I'm unable to get shit done, and don't even do fun stuff. I just don't do anything at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [M22] attracted to my SO's [f24] roommate [f21] but it honestly doesn't mean anything
POST: A little background, my girlfriend [f24] and I [m22] have been together for about 3 years. She recently moved in with a good friend of hers into an apartment together. I spend quite a bit of time there bc of my SO, and the more I interact with her friend the more sexually attracted I am to her. There have been several occasions where we have gotten drunk together and they have made out and one occasion where they were both sober. This I feel has somewhat sexualized my feelings towards her as a friend. I've caught myself thinking "fantasy" type things involving her and I almost always feel guilty because I know if my SO were to hear those thoughts it would kill her. While it isn't an obsession (probably once or twice a month I catch myself) I still like the idea regardless of my guilt.
As for how I feel about my SO, I love her more than life itself. We are planning on getting married as soon as we are both finished with school and can move somewhere else. I have no doubt that she is who I want to take care of and grow old with. My issue is that while we are extremely open and honest about our thoughts and feelings so I've said something to the effect of I find her attractive. She said she understood that I'ts not something I can help (noticing the looks of another girl) but I could tell it hurt her self esteem.
I just need someone else's thoughts on how I should handle this. Do I admit I've had sexual thoughts about her friend? How would I approach that? Or is it just one of those things you keep to yourself to spare their feelings?
And just to make sure I'm absolutely clear, it is purely physical to me. I'm not trying to start something or initiate in any way. I value our friendship and would hate to see that dissolve in any way as well. I love my SO and would never ever do anything to hurt her, I just don't know how to handle these kinds of thoughts and feeling specifically.
TL;DR: | I'm physically attracted to my SO's friend and while I've admitted it before in honesty to my SO, it really affects her self esteem. Just need some idea on how to move on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35F] with my co-worker [39 M] talked about having a relationship but now he acts like he hates me. What do I do or do I do nothing?
POST: This will be long so I apologize in advance. I'm just not sure what to do and could use some advice.
My co-worker and I have always had a very fun, flirty working relationship. We began to text after work hours a few weeks ago and discussed us dating. He knows my whole family. Everyone approved of this relationship even our boss. He is someone that I care a lot about and could possibly be "the one".
Then out of nowhere he began to ignore my texts, ignore me at work, give me short answers when I ask him a work related question and generally act like he hates me and treats me like shit. Completely threw me off as I wasn't sure where this was all coming from. I have asked what is going on and he just says nothing.
Another co-worker mentioned that he joined a dating site and saw me on there. (My profile is old, I no longer use it, and had forgotten all about it.) I think that he may have told my love interest this and that is what is causing his reaction to me.
I don't think he would believe me if I told him that I don't use the online profile because he has trust issues from a previous relationship that I had been working very hard to get him past so we could have a trusting relationship.
Now I am hurt and have no idea what to do. I'm not even sure the dating profile is the problem but it is the only thing I can think of. Should I even try to talk to him about it or just let it go and move on?
TL;DR: | Co-worker/love interest is ignoring me and acts like he hates me possibly because of an old online dating profile. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] of almost a year, starting to feel attraction for another girl.
POST: Now I know at this age hormones are very much still a swaying factor but I want the same advice you would give to someone older than me in the same situation.
For the past almost year my girlfriend and I have been dating it has been nice. We do couple-y things and all the like. Not once have I really looked at another girl and had any feelings for her past the very skin deep things you feel for other people.
At least I hadn't until recently, our one year anniversary is coming up in December and I feel she's more into our relationship than I am. Not to say I'm done with the relationship or her but my feelings have sorta flat-lined where as hers haven't. Also recently I've been talking more and more with one of my few close lady friends and have begun to feel slightly attracted to her.
We have a class in common and most of the time when we aren't working in said class we're talking about just whatever. We share quite a few common interests (that I don't share with my current SO but that she accepts are part of me) and joke around about similar things. I haven't been seeing myself and my current SO staying together for too much longer after our one year (for a few various and complicated reasons) and want to know what I should do.
Should I cut it off early and let my feelings settle before going ahead or let my current relationship slowly die and then figure out what to do.
And yes I know I already posted this, I wanted to bring it around again a touch earlier in the day so I could get some more input.
TL;DR: | Should I cut off my current relationship to let my feelings settle and then (maybe) go after my friend that I'm feeling this for or go back to my SO (after thinking things over)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Digging myself into a deep hole..
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. I'm 19 and he's 20; we're in our second year. We are in a LDR and have been for a year. I go back three times a year (two breaks and then the whole summer) so it's not too bad. Last year was pretty difficult but this year has been a lot easier and we are closer than ever. I'm incredibly in love with him and I know he feels the same way.
The problem is that there is this guy here who I can't get out of my head. I would never physically cheat on my boyfriend; I respect him way too much. I feel like I have been emotionally cheating, though. I only see this guy once a week or every two weeks but I sometimes have dreams about him where we'll be talking for hours or do something romantic together and then I'll wake up and be like WTF and can't stop thinking about it all day.
We don't flirt or talk much; he's a friend of a friend. In fact, when we are physically together, I tend to avoid him like the plague, which is probably the wrong approach but I am trying to minimize this crush as much as possible. There have been a few instances where he has been a bit flirty and whenever another guy is flirting with me, he always gets pretty annoyed.
I'm just so confused because I love my boyfriend and want to be with him but I can't ignore this crush that has gone on for two months already. He is sort of a representation of my boyfriend but the difference is that he is HERE and my boyfriend is 3,000 miles away. I just need your advice as to what I should do here. I don't know if I should just keep doing what I'm doing (aka ignoring it) or see how this guy feels about me and if there could be something there. That would be a huge decision as it would completely ruin my relationship and that is not something I'm willing to give up on right now but who knows... Help, Redditors!
TL;DR: | boyfriend of 2 years, LDR, in love but have crush on a guy who is here, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 19/f Him 25/m Distance
POST: So I work at a bar and I met this guy originally I liked his friend but this guy just started trying hard and I gave him my number one night about a month ago and we've hung out about 3 times since then.
The second night we hung out he told me that he's going to Jamaica for 2 years and that he was afraid to tell me because he didn't want me to run off and I told him that I wasn't going to leave. I mean he hinted around about it before and so I just put it all together and had a good week to think about it before he actually told me.
But anyway he told me that he wanted to take things slow and to see where things go and I said ok.
Now i'm really starting to like him and every time i'm around him he says he likes me more. At this point I have no clue what e're doing or how things are really going. I can't says he's my boyfriend but I really want to know where things are going. I'm not in love with this guy but to me he's a breath of fresh air.I wouldn't mind still being with him even if he's gone for 2 years because I know he's coming back. And he's helping kids in another country I wouldn't want to stop him from doing what he's passionate about. And in 3 months he's leaving. I feel like it might be too early to ask him where things are going .
Should I stop being so insecure and just take things slow like he asked and let everything just happen or should I just ask him where things are going.
In my heart I feel like I should just let it go but i'm scared to get attached to someone and then just have them drop me like i'm nothing. It's happen too many times.
TL;DR: | New guy. 3 dates. Leave to another country in 3 months. Should I ask where things are going. Or just let things fall into place like he asked in the beginning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [21M] 3 months, new LDR, SO says he wants a break. [x-post from /r/longdistance]
POST: Hi! I submitted this on /r/longdistance but haven't gotten feedback so I figured I'd try here as well. Using a throwaway for obvious reasons.
My SO and I have been seeing each other since the beginning of the summer. At first we told each other it would end once we left for college (a few hours apart), but then we decided we had developed such deep feelings for each other that we wanted to give an LDR a shot.
Keep in mind that he was the one who pushed us into seriousness.. He told me he wanted to give it a shot first, he told me he was falling in love with me first, he actually came on really strong with how he felt and how much he wanted to be with me.
Now he says he's freaking out and wants a break to think about things. He doesn't want to hook up with other people, but needs time to figure out if he wants to do long distance. I understand, but it still hurts that he feels he needs time away from me.
I guess my question is have any of you guys been through this and gotten through it? Have you or your partner asked for a break and then realized they want to stay with you? How did you cope while you waited? Also, how long should I wait until I end it myself? I want to give him the space he needs but I also want to respect myself. I've never been in this situation before so I have no idea how to handle it. Any advice would be very appreciated!
TL;DR: | Newly long distance with my boyfriend, he freaks out and says he needs an NC break (while still staying exclusive to one another). Need advice on how to handle the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Treadmill running vs Outside running
POST: Holy shit, so I just started training for a 1/2 marathon (I've never been a runner, always go on the bike). I trained the first month on a treadmill, I could do 2 miles straight at a 10:00/pace without stopping, I was so excited that I was building endurance.
And then yesterday happened. I try running outside for the first time and it's like I haven't trained at all. Completely different parts of my body hurt, my pace is 2:30 minute slower, I feel like I can't stride out at all, which is usually what I do when I get tired. I'm buying running shoes today in hopes that that will help with some of the pain.
Any other tips from people for converting from a treadmill to outside?
TL;DR: | Training was going well on a treadmill, outside running makes me feel like someone beat the shit out of me...tips? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU at a Halloween party.
POST: I was hanging out with some friends at a costume party 3 years ago and there was this girl dressed up as a sexy cat (how original) and she just kept looking at me. Eventually it became a stare. Every time I looked in her direction, she was looking directly at me. I was dressed up as Han Solo, so I start thinking my costume came apart or something because I doubt a girl like that is interested in me. I'm an average, decent looking ass dude. So I go to the other room to check and I'm all good, no problems. I go back out to the living room where some friends are playing some Smash Bros. and she comes and sits by me... She whispers in my ear that she thinks I'm cute and asks if I'm with anyone and all that talk to confirm that I'm single... Fast forward and we get WASTED. She's super hot too by the way.
The night goes on and I'm playing some of my favorite songs for everyone and the party is perfect. She comes up to me and grabs my hand and starts leading me up the stairs... I'm totally about to get laid... I'm sitting on my friends bed taking off my blaster belt and she says, "I have to use the litter box." I laugh because, obviously, that was a hilarious bathroom reference to her costume... Well I think to myself, "I better use the bathroom real quick too." She had already left the room, so I do a quick jog across the hall to the bathroom.
I knock.
No answer.
I open the door.
She's squatted over the fucking litter box and now I'm the one staring... She's so drunk that she thinks this is a totally okay thing and I knew right there I wasn't about to stay hard with this image burned into my head. So I immediately walk out, and tell my friends to pack up, and it's time to roll out. I told them what I saw and they laughed uncontrollably and now they like to remind me about the time I almost fucked the "cat girl" on Halloween.
Yeah. What the fuck?
TL;DR: | I was totally about to bone this super hot girl dressed up as a sexy cat, and I walked in on her literally using the litter box to piss... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27F] band mates [40sM,M,F] are giving me a hard time for having a job. Who is being unreasonable?
POST: I have been in this band for a year, during which time I have been chronically unemployed but actively seeking work. I have recently gained temporary employment (8 weeks) that I am trying my hardest to convert into long term employment. My band (all unemployed) have been putting huge amounts of pressure on me to keep to the same rehursal schedule we had when I was unemployed (not possible) and are completely unwilling to compromise or give up their Friday's or Saturday's to practice because they "are busy too". Yesterday I travelled an hour and a half after work to meet them and was complaining about all the pressure they're putting me under taking all the joy out of making music. They all started having a massive go at me saying that this is a job for them and I need to sort my priorities out and they are sacrificing time with their kids [18-25] for me and I need to either shape up or quit. I got really upset after having such a long day and having 3 ppl chew me out so I just left. Also, I only have one more week of work left so I don't want to burn bridges. I don't want to lose this band, I love making music with them but I'm at my wits end.
TL;DR: | band are being dicks about my temporary 9 to 5 job making me unavailable. They refuse to compromise and rehurse on weekends. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by mispronouncing the fish I had for lunch
POST: Deployed to a base in Afghanistan. In line at the chow hall where there's a variety of wonderful foods to choose from. I hand my plate to the server and request some fresh broccoli. He puts some on my plate and proceeds down the line. I notice some fish, but there were two types; catfish and pollock. I never had the pollock before and I couldnt just say "I'll have the fish". I then told the server "I'll have the pollock", instead of pronouncing it the proper way, I managed to say polack. It was about that time I noticed Polish soldiers in line right behind me giving me the death stare. So I'm hoping they don't speak English well, but I scurried out of there in a hurry just incase.
TL;DR: | Mispronounced pollock with polack when I had Polish soldiers behind me. Offended the shit out of them and embarassed myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My [19 F] boyfriend [22 M] of 10 months slept with someone else while we were broken up. How do I move past it?
POST: I'll try to keep this short. My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago, and we just decided Saturday that we wanted to work things out and try again. Everything seemed like it was going really well (doesn't it always?) until last night he dropped the bomb that he slept with another girl while he was really drunk. I know he didn't do anything wrong or "against the rules", but the fact that I was doing all I could just to make it through the day and he felt okay enough to fuck another girl really stings. He says he regrets it and he seemed genuinely sorry. Also I should mention that I'm not mad, since we were broken up and everything, I'm just disappointed and hurt. It feels like our relationship couldn't have meant as much to him as it does to me if he felt like he could be with someone else so soon after leaving me.
I just want to move on. I want to know how to stop images of him with another woman from popping up in my mind. If any of you have gone through something similar, I would really like to know what you did to cope and if you ever overcame it.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend left me about a month ago and slept with someone else while we were broken up. I know he didn't technically do anything wrong, but I'm still hurt. How do I move past it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to fix my air conditioner.
POST: My air conditioner stopped working 2 days ago. I checked online to see if I could figure out what was wrong. It seems it is either the capacitor or the fan motor. I'm leaning toward the fan motor because when you give the blades a whirl it doesn't keep spinning.
Yesterday I went to purchase a new fan motor, and the salesman said that you usually replace the capacitor when you replace a fan motor. A new capacitor wasn't that much more, so I figured "sure, why not".
Last night I went to do the replacing, and that's when I realized that the bad fan motor had 1 wire that goes to the capacitor, but the new motor has 2. The only thing is, there's only room on the capacitor for one wire to be connected (from the fan motor). My logic is, if they both attach at the same place, why can't I just splice them together into one connector and attach them both at the same time to the capacitor.
I'm not sure if that is the source of error, or there's something else...but when I plugged the fuse back in to start everything up there was sparking and the smell of electrical burning.
Tomorrow an A/C repairman will be coming out to fix everything.
TL;DR: | I tried to save money by fixing my A/C, but will probably end up spending much more to have someone repair my mistakes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25/F] with my old high school friend(?) [26 F], invited me to her wedding thru FB, but we haven't hung out in years
POST: We're best friends at one point in high school, but drifted away due to changes in priority (me on school, her on popularity). I went to college, she went to work full-time. I've tried keeping in touch after high school, but it was tough since she was dating (now to be married) to this guy I never really liked (he hung out with the "wrong crowd" (drinking, drugs, gambling), but I'm probably being judgy.
A couple of years ago I initiated a text just saying something like "hey let me know when you have time to hang out, we need to catch up!" She responded she would, but nothing happened.
At this point I don't even really consider us friends anymore, so I was surprised to be invited to her wedding. My sister's opinion is that "it was nice of her", but if I go, am I obligated to get a gift?
I know, that last sentence sounded kind of petty, but I just don't feel close to her anymore. It's kind of expected to give a gift if I go, but I don't think I even want to. It honestly feels kind of messed up to me for her to think I would put effort into joining her on her big day, when she hasn't tried to maintain a friendship. We still live in the same city. I especially don't want to go since there will be a chance of running into other high school friends who I've also written off due to lack of effort (and posting of questionable/slightly racist/classist articles on FB, I've "unfriended" them already)
Am I being mean, or do I have a point?
TL;DR: | Old friend who I haven't hung out with in a long time invited me to her wedding. Don't feel comfortable going as we are no longer close. Do I have to go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What customer service experience made you dump a company for good?
POST: I recently moved all my money to a local credit union. When a payment from an account I forgot to switch over hit my old Bank of America checking account I got an overdraft fee because they processed the payment even though my account was at a zero balance for a month. After a live chat online and actual phone call with a representative they refused to withdraw the $35 fee and said they would actually charge me $35 more if not rectified within 5 days and that the fees would continue to pile on until the account was brought back to zero (FYI the payment was only $51.11). I had a flawless account history and had never dropped below a zero balance. I'm closing my account and not looking back. Customer service like this is exactly why I moved from a big bank to a credit union (member owned and non-profit). What a difference! Best decision I've made and wish I did it years ago.
TL;DR: | A payment was processed on my old zero balance dormant account, BOA wants to charge me $70 in fees (and increasing) for honoring a $51.11 charge. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit, what is your opinion on tattoos?
POST: My dad's older brother was a small time magician who was murdered before I was born. I grew up always hearing about him and our similarities. Last year, around the anniversary of his death, my dad got more upset than usual. He explained to me that I'm the age he was when he died and that everything I do reminds him of my uncle. I look like him, act like him, and I'm even taking the same courses as him in university. Since that night I've thought a lot about my role in my dad's life. I don't really believe in reincarnation, but I suppose a part of me wants my life to be an homage to my uncle. Anyway, recently I thought about getting a tattoo that says "Abracadabra", in memory of my uncle, and in a way representing his last trick for my dad. What does Reddit think of this idea? Tattoos are a permanent thing and I don't want to make a rash decision.
TL;DR: | I was considering getting a tattoo that says "Abracadabra" in memory of my late magician uncle. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Young couple, trying to move in together. How do I tell my overbearingly-traditional Catholic parents?
POST: So I met my girlfriend about a year ago, and things are going great. I have been in a half-dozen relationships in the past, and I can already tell that this one has something that all the others didn't.
We're both responsible, post-college (22 years old), with jobs in the city. We decided to start looking at places together, but I haven't told my parents yet. My dad's a cool guy, but is extremely right-wing Catholic whatever, so it's difficult to think of ways to tell him. And I know my mom is gonna bitch at me forever about it, even though she's made some pretty bold decisions of her own at my age. This move will definitely be frowned upon in my family's eyes, and my reputation with them may be soiled forever.
Reddit, please help. For those of you that have been faced with this before, as I am assuming there may be a few of you, give me some tips. My biggest fear is losing connection with my family, as I love them too.
TL;DR: | my parents are super religious, trying to move in with my girlfriend, what's the best way to tell them without alienating myself from them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] never had a girlfriend before, new city, and the clock is ticking...
POST: Aside from a few dates in high school, I've never really been with a girl before. I took a year off to work to save up for school, then moved to a brand new city, and I am just finishing up my associates degree at a community college. I'm going to medical school in 2 years and my Dad has repeatedly told me he would not have survived med school if he hadn't been married.
The problem is I have no idea how to meet girls. I am a confident guy, I have no problem asking them out and getting rejected, I just don't know where to find them. The girls at the community college aren't exactly the ones I want to spend the rest of my life with.
And even if I found an cool girl I have no idea how to "date". The dates in high school, I based off of what I saw in romantic comedies, and it didn't work out so well.
I feel like if I don't find someone soon, I'm just gonna have to wait until after med school in order to find someone. I just really have NO earthly idea what to do at this point.
The biggest dilemma of all however, is that there are plenty of smart cute girls at the local Mormon church. I left the church 2 years ago because of serious issues I had with it. The girls would want me to be a devout member if we dated. Do I live a lie for the rest of my life for a potentially awesome girl?
TL;DR: | Never really dated before, in a new city, and feel like I need to get married before medical school in 2 years. Mormon girls are an option but have strong opposition to the church. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Moving, and don't know what is best for my GSD
POST: I need some advice. I have a GSD, and have had him since he was a puppy. He just turned 2. I live in the US, and have a house with a fenced backyard, dog house, etc. He is really high energy, and we take him to play fetch almost daily in a big field. He is like the energizer bunny.
About a year ago I met my (now) German fiance, and the plan is (and has always been) to go back to Germany the end of next year when his work contract is over.
He owns an apartment over there, and if you don't know a lot about Germany: space is limited. Long term plans include maybe a house but it is a LOT of money so that would be years down the road. Going from a house with a yard to a little apartment is worrying me about the dog. I have looked into it and there are no daycare type places in the city we are moving to, so every day he would be inside, alone.
My coworker/friend lives on a bunch of land out in the country and has a female GSD a few months younger than my GSD and has offered to take him. I trust him a lot and know he would really take care of him.
That brings me to my question: What would really be better for my dog? Would he be happier with his original family, or living out on a bunch of land, with another dog (he is currently an only child, but I have always socialized him with daycare etc).
Other opinions greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | moving to much smaller accomodations, will GSD be happier with us or on a bunch of land with another dog? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it crazy for me (21m) to consider breaking up with my new (1mo) girlfriend (19f) over tattoos?
POST: I think tattoos are trashy and repulsive. I know it's stupid and a problem with me, but I can't help what I'm attracted to.
My girlfriend wants to get tattoos (yes, multiple) in a month - double the time of our relationship. She currently doesn't have any. She wants "flowers because she likes flowers," and "maybe some Asian writing." Ugh.
Her parents, who financially support her, would disown her if they found out, so I think it's also a really bad idea. She plans on getting one where it will always be visible, as well.
I had no idea she was the type of person to want them when we started dating. She asked what I thought and because she asked I told her that I really hate tattoos but also that it's her body so do what she wants, and that we've only been dating a month so I know I have no say. I wasn't going to lie and say "yeah I love them!"
The thing is, it's a new relationship - maybe if we had been dating for a year I could learn to accept it. But attraction is pretty important in a new relationship so I don't feel too crazy for thinking this is a deal breaker. I wouldn't have started dating her if I found her unattractive. I wouldn't have started dating her if she had tattoos.
I'm thinking I'll wait to see if she actually gets them and if she does, try to look past them. It may not be as bad as I'm imagining and maybe I will actually like them. My ex had a very small septum piercing that she had when I started dating her that did not bother me at all.
Our relationship is great otherwise. Am I a terrible person for even considering this, and she should break up with me for thinking it? I feel pretty terrible, but I'm also so conflicted. Advice please?
TL;DR: | New (1mo) girlfriend wants multiple tattoos, I find tattoos repulsive. Am I terrible for thinking this is a deal breaker? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] was seeing a girl [16F] we went out on 3 double dates and she tells me we should be friends because she never felt a "connection".
POST: I'll try and keep it short, but basically, I was speaking to this girl over Facebook for about a month or so, and then one day she invited me out for a double date with her friend and a guy her friend was seeing.
It went pretty well, I was kinda awkward, but we kept talking afterwards and she invited me out on 2 more. I thought they went amazingly, we got on so well, she was laughing and smiling throughout them and I thought everything was going great, until about 2 days after the last date we had, she messages me saying she isn't ready for a relationship right now, but she loved the nights we spent together.
A few weeks later I talk to her again and she reveals instead that she feels we didn't have a "connection". Which is weird considering how young we are, I didn't really think that would be a thing girls my age would even think about.
As it stands now, we argued for a while about things that I haven't mentioned in this post, and then we decided to step back from each other for a while and sort things out later.
But, I guess the point of this post is to try and understand why after telling me she enjoyed the nights we spent together so much, she felt we didn't have a "connection". I understand she had a previous relationship that lasted for awhile, but ended on a really bad note and it messed her up a lot.
*There are quite a few details I'm leaving out, but the post would be ridiculously long if I included them all. If they really are that important I can make an edit with them all.
TL;DR: | Went out on 3 double dates with a girl, said she loved them, tells me she isn't ready for a relationship, then later reveals she felt we didn't have a connection. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] boyfriend [22M] of almost a year is addicted to video games and he admits it.
POST: My boyfriend got a
TL;DR: | Destiny is killing my relationship, but I don't want to end it and neither does he. He has an addiction that he admits to. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Just graduated from college 2+ weeks ago, still looking for my first job...any advice to getting that first job without having to settle for something you don't really want to do?
POST: My biggest problem is that I think I am picky and don't want to settle for something that I don't really want to do for the next 5 years. I know what I want to do, but getting an entry level position in the sports industry is extremely difficult. I have great experience from interning with a Minor League Baseball team and could easily get a job with a different minor league team, but they don't pay that much and don't have that much room for moving up the ladder internally.
I've had a couple of interviews with Major League Baseball (still waiting to hear back from one job) but I didn't get any of the positions (a little under qualified/not the right fit so I'm not that upset).
I don't have a problem taking a crappy job in the industry and working my ass off to move up, I am completely fine with something that will eventually lead to my dream job if I put the hard work in.
So do I settle for something I won't like doing if I don't get this last job I recently interviewed for? Or do I suck it up and do my best to follow my dreams now rather than in a couple of years when it might not be as possible?
TL;DR: | I don't want to settle for a job I don't want and "waste" the next 5 years of my life. But I obviously need a job which is hard in this economy. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking I was an ant overlord.
POST: So, I'm very lazy when it comes to cleaning my room and about 2 weeks ago, I notice a bunch of ants have started to make a home somewhere in the walls. They were very small ants, and apart from being bitten once in a while (not that painful), I didn't mind them at all for the fact that every time I dropped crumbs and other food stuff I couldn't be bothered to clean up, I noticed that given a bit of time, my ants would clean it up for me. SWEET!
I had a whole army of ants at my disposal and they were doign a great job of keeping my room clean. I would drop crumbs all over the place after snacking in front of my computer, go to bed, and wake up with them all gone. I was pretty satisfied with their work, and made no effort to get rid of them, they became my cleaning minions.
Several days ago, I started noticing that they had started working on cleaning my keyboard, ants were streaming in and out from under the keys (I have a mechanical keyboard), and I was really happy about it. It's going to be spotless under there! I paid no attention to them, and let them carry on with the good work.
This went on for a while, and my keyboard must of been really dirty because they continued working on it not stop. The fuckup happened today when one my keys got kind of stuck, and when I pressed it, a swarm of ants came out from underneath. I pulled off the key and looked underneath to find that in fact, they hadn't been cleaning my keyboard by hauling stuff out of there, they were using it to build a freaking nest! It was chock full of ants and saw-dust looking debris tightly packed into every crevice. I spent half the day taking my keyboard apart and cleaning it, dispersing a swarm of several hundred ants that made it their home. Luckily, keyboard still works fine.
TL;DR: | Thought I was pretty clever by using ants to clean my room and keyboard for me. Turns out they were using my keyboard as their storage place and hauling all the crap they found into it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: What does the law say about being married in two different countries to two different people?
POST: A dear friend of mine recently proposed to his boyfriend, who said yes, but said friend refuses to acknowledge the fact that he was once married in Canada. Here's the situation: dear friend A got married in Canada a few years ago in an attempt to stay in Canada so that him and his partner might be able to actually date without being thousands of miles away. Things didn't work out with them nor did it work with his Canadian citizenship. The Canadian partner refused to deal with divorce papers and to this day they are still legally married. Present day friend A has been with his new partner for years, locally this time, and they both plan to get married. Will this marriage be valid or legal or will they have complications?
TL;DR: | Gay man married in Canada years ago, didn't work out and old partner refused to handle his side of divorce papers. Gay man now with someone new and both wanting to get married. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] am worried my boyfriend [21M] is becoming a selfish lover. Not sure how to approach this.
POST: Me: 21F
Him: 21M
We've been together 4 months. Generally he's a good lover, for a while he just wanted me to go on top and finish him with blowjobs all the time but I threw out the phrase "pillow princess" and he's improved on that.
The thing is, he hasn't eaten me out yet. A few weeks in I asked him to and he said he needed time to become more comfortable with me sexually. No problem at all. A month later, we talked more about it. He's only done it twice ever, he said he's not nervous though. I asked if there was anything I could do to help, he said no, that I'm EXTREMELY clean. He hasn't given me a real reason, I ask him why he won't and he says he doesn't know. About a month ago he said he was "thinking about it", but every time I ask since then it's "not tonight".
I don't want to push him. That's the last thing I want to do. I won't enjoy it if I push him into it. The thing is, I'm not so sure it's discomfort any more. I think he may just be lazy and he has it good right now because I can only come on top and I love giving blowjobs.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of four months still won't eat me out. He's given no good reason lately. I'm worried I'm being used a bit. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M/18] My girlfriend [F/18] brought up the idea of an open relationship.
POST: There aren't really any mitigating factors. We're both in our first year of college (at different schools), and things have been harder than they were at home, obviously, but I wouldn't say our relationship has gone to shit. At this point, we've been together for a year and 10 months and have each had hookups in the past but only had sex with each other.
Like the title says, she brought up to me an open relationship. I reacted ambivalently; I wouldn't have brought it up myself, but now that she did, it sounds like something to try. She suggests that hook-ups would, in general, be fair game, but that we would not have sex except with each other and that we would tell the other when we hooked up.
Personally, it seems to me that this would be fine. We don't see each other all the time, so it would certainly be sexually satisfying, but I wanted to ask someone who had experienced something like this what pros/cons, general guidelines, or advice you might have. I know it'll be different for every couple, but I just wondered generally what everyone thought.
Thanks!
TL;DR: | My girlfriend asked if I might at some point be interested in having an open relationship, and I don't feel strongly one way or the other; what are some general thoughts/concerns about open relationships? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my bf[26 M] of 1 year, did he break his commitment?
POST: Hey there, I could really use some outside perspective as I'm really torn on this issue. I need someone to talk to and give me unbiased opinions :)
First off, when I first starting dating my bf, I found out he was cheating on me very early on after we verbally established exclusivity. He apologized and we moved on. He cut off contact with the other woman. He was still communicating with his ex-girlfriend and it was pretty obvious to me he was keeping her as a backup during this time. His ex is not a very nice person: while we were dating, she was actively making fun of me (saying how I am ugly multiple times), using racial slurs, etc. He did not defend me so I finally gave him an ultimatum that he needed to send her an email that they need to stop communicating or I'm out. He did exactly that and showed me the email. He seemed very remorseful that he hurt me and since then he has been a very good boyfriend.
However, this is where I need your opinions. Recently his ex's mother died, and a mutual friend of my bf and his ex contacted him to tell him to contact the ex and talk to her. He did not communicate with her but he did send flowers to her and the family. I guess the ex became bitter that he didn't bother to call her so she sent him a message stating that 'she's sad things had to turn out like this (the no communication) but she appreciates the flowers.'
I know it was very nice of my bf to send the ex flowers because her mom died, but something about this rubs me the wrong way. In the back of my mind, I'm wondering if he did this to keep her in the background just in case something happens between us so he can use this to get back with her. I know that he didn't technically break his promise with me but something just seems off.
There are details that I left out but I didn't want to bore everyone with paragraphs. Thank you for reading this.
TL;DR: | bf sent his ex flowers while he agreed to sever ties to her because of past cheating and her being a bitch to me unprovoked. I'm torn. Should I let this go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 20 M met a 19 F on okcupid and found her on fb through mutual friends
POST: I decided to make an Okcupid account to meet a girl with similar interest. All my past relationships have been with girls who I have had very little in common with. I basically dated the girly girls who are smart but usually not interested in watching documentaries or talking politics. Most of my matches include the feminist type who are heavily involved in politics. I have never really had a friend or dated someone like this, so I dont know how to approach these type of girls.
Anyway, I come across this girl's profile who I have a 90% match who lives nearby. She is cute, not breathtaking but I take a look at her profile and she is someone I would definitely want to hang out as bro were she not a girl. I message her and she replies for a couple messages. I don't think much on it since I thought she probably went offline but then she doesnt message me back the next day when she is online.
It's been a few days since she was last online, so I decided to type her account name on my facebook search bar and surprisingly she came up with a mutual friend.
My question is what should I do now? Should I just forget about her if she doesn't message me back? Should I send her another message in a week or 2? Should I message her on fb or is that too creepy( even though all I had to do was type her username in the fb search bar)? Any advice is appreciated since I think I could really get along with this girl
TL;DR: | Met girl on okcupid and messaged a few times but she has not been online. Found her on fb through mutual friends. What now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Manpanion [M30s] can't deal with my [F 30] snoring dog anymore.
POST: I have a Boston terrier (moose) who is 9 years old. I got her when I was in college and living alone. She has always slept in the bed with me. Now she's old and I cannot bear the thought of her sleeping outside the bedroom and not understanding why.
My fiancé (James) and I have been together for 3 years and lived together for most of that. He was never raised with pets but quickly learned to love my moose, by his own admission. He is great with her - takes her out to Poop, gives her belly rubs and throws her ball incessantly. We just bought a house together and one of the major concerns for him was having a yard that the moose can play in, so there's definitely no underlying "he just doesn't like dogs" thing at play here.
As moose has gotten older, her snoring has gotten really loud. Lately (the last 6 months or so) James been complaining about it. So, on nights that he can't sleep because of the snoring, I take her and sleep in the guest room. I feel bad but also feel like I should be the one to sleep elsewhere because I'm the one who can't sleep without her in the bed. It doesn't make me angry or anything to go sleep in another room -I just don't want him to be frustrated about the dog snoring.
Before this would happen a couple times a month, but the snoring has gotten so bad it's a couple times a week now and James seems to get angry when I take the dog and sleep elsewhere. He always says he's going to sleep in the guest room, but I volunteer instead. This seems to irritate him more than anything.
In my mind I'm solving all of the problems because he gets to sleep in the bed and get a good night's sleep without interruptions, I don't lose any sleep wondering if he's lying awake while I'm sleeping in the guest room and Moose doesn't have to sleep alone.
Am I being unreasonable? Is there another solution?
TL;DR: | dog named moose snores like a sonofabitch. Manpanion can't deal. Am I in the wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [25/F] What to do about a coworker [20-something/M]?
POST: I am sort of infatuated with a coworker. We've worked together for a couple of months now. He's overly friendly/borderline flirty but nothing concrete. I worry that maybe he just has one of those personalities that always comes off as flirty when he's really just friendly. Edited to add: I also don't know if he's seeing anyone, or straight for that matter.
I want to see if there's anything there, but there are problems: 1) I'm just over a month out of a relationship, so I don't know if I'm feeling this way for the wrong reasons; 2) I have to work here for the summer, so I don't want things to be unbearably awkward, 3) I have literally never made the first move before. I worry that my ego and self esteem are fragile right now and wouldn't handle rejection well. However, this is the first time in what seems like forever that my ex and the devastation of losing him isn't on my mind 24/7.
I'm not really sure what to do - I don't know if I'm rebounding, or misinterpreting friendliness or something.
TL;DR: | Have a crush on a coworker, unsure if he's just being friendly and whether or not I can handle asking someone out 1 month into a breakup. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Surf Rescue with a Paddle-Surf-Board, where do I find any videos and instructions?
POST: so, here's the problem: I'm one of the few surfers, of my area (center Italy, east coast); the local lifeguards asked me some help to teach them how to use the surf board for sea rescue.
In italy there are only two surfboard like that one (I mean the ones used for rescue), one here and one somewhere in the north. So basically nobody knows how to use that thing in emergency situations.
we did some practice trials, being a surfer, for me there are no problems in paddling out, reaching the victim, picking him up on board and paddling back to the shore. but, before teaching them something that may dangerous for the victims and for themselves, I would like to get some informations about the rescue techniques.
**Of course these guys are professionals and know how to handle any situations, moreover they are very responsible and, until they will have figured it out how to use that surf board they will not use it!**
I've found a couple of infos online, but I'm confident that among redditors someone can help me!! thanks in advance!!
TL;DR: | need to (learn and) teach to use a surf board for sea-rescue, but I don't know how! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By not getting the hint
POST: So this actually happened a year ago, and it took me a couple weeks and my roommate to figure out how stupid I was.
So last year my roommate was having his girlfriend over for the weekend. His girlfriend didn't want to make the drive alone (it was like 6 or 7 hours), so she asked if her best friend could come as well. Lets call this best friend Mara. I didn't mind Mara coming, she was single and kinda cute. Friday night comes. Roommate takes his girl to a hotel cause he's considerate. I take Mara to a party. We drink, she seems she's having a good time. Its getting late, so we go back to my place.
Writing this is just painful.
She asks if she can come back to my room. Sure, cool. She then asks if I'm fine with her undressing. Sure, cool. We then precede to make out in my bed for about an hour and a half. All the while she is grinding against me in her bra and panties, complimenting my physique.
You know that stereotype about guys where they just don't get the hint when I girl wants something? Yeah, that's me. I think she just wants to, you know, be cuddly and make out. Eventually I just want my damn sleep, and I somehow get her to stop sucking my face off and we both fall asleep.
Rest of the weekend passes in a blur, not really anything much to say about it. A few weeks later I was talking with my roommate about that weekend, and he told me that Mara left kind of hurt, and he didn't know why I didn't have sex with her. My first response was actually, "Who is Mara?" - I genuinely didn't remember her. He laughed, I wasn't trying to be funny. In a burst of inspiration I remembered who Mara was. And I also realized that she totally wanted to have sex with me. I am an idiot.
TL;DR: | mostly naked cute girl was grinding against me whilst making out with me, and I friend-zoned her cause I thought that's all she wanted. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I compete with person who made it to 1st place because of popular Internet friend's tweet?
POST: Hello Redditors!
I'm in a competition where I'm trying to win a $10,000 scholarship and in the competition, you can vote once a day and all you do is click "Vote Now". I was winning 1st place for 2 months, but two days ago a person from around last place had a well-known friend who makes CoD videos on YouTube, has 200,000 YouTube subscribers, 80,000,000 channel views, and 12,000 followers who call themselves the ****** army, made a tweet saying ""GO HERE AND CLICK "VOTE NOW". IT'S FOR A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND, TAKES 2 SECONDS <3"
What took me 2 months of relentless requests for votes from family, friends, coworkers, and even reconnecting with old acquaintances and having them vote everyday, this guy took in literally 2 hours. It's lame that he entered the contest 2 months after and put absolutely no effort at all and yet is first place now, but there's nothing in the rules that says he can't do that.
I don't have any friends with 12,000 ardent supporters and I've tweeted engineering accounts, surfers, skateboarders, surfing magazines, skateboarding magazines and I have not had 1 retweet :( Is it even ethical for anyone with that many supporters to do that? Is that why the person deleted his tweet a day later and no one has retweeted me? What should I do Reddit?
Disclaimer: I posted absolutely no details regarding this contest so I can't possibly be using you guys for votes since I understand how much Redditors don't like to be used for votes.
TL;DR: | Someone's friend tweeted a person to 1st place and he got 2 months worth of votes in 2 hours. How can I match that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I learn to give my girlfriend more space? (M/F19)
POST: I'm sorry for any errors in this post, I'm on mobile.
My girlfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for 3 and a half years and for the last half a year we've been separated because we went to universities 90 minutes apart. Before, we lived in the same town approximately 10 minutes apart and spent most of our time (when possible, sometimes when we should have been doing other things too).
Now we see each other once every two weeks if we're lucky. This alone was a huge step for us because we are a very cuddly couple. However we made up for it by messaging every day and sometimes skyping in between our physical meetings. Recently though, she has said that the distance is getting to her and she's confused about us. I think that it's not that either of us did anything wrong.
We had a really teary call a few days ago about what to do about our relationship and we couldn't decide in anything because she "doesn't know". I tell her that I want to stay with her no matter what but she isn't so adamant. We decided to "take it easy" for a while and we pushed back when we would next meet (was going to be this weekend, now is planned for 3 weeks from now). We also agreed to talk less because our messaging is getting a bit repetitive.
The problem is that I am head over heels for this girl and it is tearing at my heart to just not talk to her for most of the day (and when we do talk it seems like there's an elephant in the room). I've been reading some relationship advice and talked to my parents and they say that I should give her time and give her space to make a decision on her own but it's hurting me. How can I come to terms with this?
TL;DR: | my girlfriend and I have always had a lot of contact, but now we aren't because of distance and emotional reasons. How do I cope/what can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Need a little help to talk with a girl, details inside
POST: Hi everyone, I'd like to ask for some help.
Here's my situation, I'm male, 17 (France), and I go to university. (College, if I'm not wrong, in US). Basically, there's one girl in my class (of 480 people) that I have a crush on, she's 17/18. I never talked to her and I'm not sure she even saw me once, but I looked at her a lot in class and sat not so far so I could hear the way she talk, basically I'm interested by her.
So.. my point is here, I need advices to talk to her and really need, a good way to talk with her but not looking creepy or whatever that could turn her back.
Few information about me : I play video games, I party a lot, I practice Brazilian Jui jitsu, and I enjoy music. (I'm a normal guy in tastes). For the appearance, I don't look bad I was told, but I'm sure also I'm not a brad pitt. I'm not really shy,or socially awkward, and I have a good general culture. I'm still virgin, and I had only one relationship when I was 15 which lasted 1 month, it wasn't me that made the first step.
Thank you for your help and I apologize for my English which isn't perfect (still learning everyday !).
TL;DR: | I just don't know how to talk to a girl in my class that I don't know at all, and I'd like to date her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Having a hard time not seeing her M20 F18
POST: Hi,
two months ago I went on a date with the girl I liked.
It went alright, I guess, maybe a little bit awkward, since we are both not that experienced.
Since then I didn't have much time,because I moved out of town to a university.
We still saw us like every weekend or so, and held hands and stuff, nothing too fancy.
But two weeks ago, I met her in a bar where our friends usually hang out and we kind of ignored all of them and just talked, had fun and kissed. A lot. I was so happy and we agreed to meet each other again on the next day.
I really wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend on that second date, but the next day she wrote me that she was sick.
Now all I can think of is her and how much I want to tell her how I feel about her.
But there is just no time at the moment to see each other, our next date will be in early november :/.
I try to write to her as often as I can, but usually am I the one who opens the conversation...
does that mean, that she doesn't want to talk to me?
This weekend we agreed to at least try to see each other at the bar, but I don't think that I should tell her all of this drunkenly.
I seriously don't know what to do in this situation, should I write her what I feel? call her? I want to do it face to face and sober but thats the problem here..
I just hope I don't lose her to my inability to see her as often as I want to.
Sorry for the long text, but it felt good getting that off my chest.
TL;DR: | Kind of in love with a girl, who I only see on weekends and not knowing if she's still into me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Self abusive GF is in real trouble
POST: My girlfriend (27) hates our living situation. We both teach in Korea and will be eligible to leave together next year, March, and go back to my home country of South Africa to start work. We've been in Korea for 4 years at this point.
She hates the industry, as it can be fake and very anti-foreigner at times. She hates teaching, and having to be disingenuous with parents about how their kids are doing. She feels like she is wasting her life doing this. She also has severe back problems but refuses to get PT because it costs too much in her eyes. I agree the whole thing's not ideal but I tend to stay very positive and have been a rock for her to lean on.
But her mood swings are insane. She's clearly somewhere very bad emotionally because when things get bad she descends very quickly into hopelessness and anger, and very often points the finger at me. She talks about killing herself, but then qualifies it by saying she only thinks about it in a "if a car ran into me, I probably wouldn't jump out of the way" sense. She also blames me for not "manning up" and marrying her so we can leave sooner. Her attitude and negativity though have made me really uncertain.
All of that was fine and well until tonight she was having computer problems at the last minute before an assignment had to be handed in. She ran into the kitchen and got a knife out of the drawer and stabbed herself in the thigh around six times. The cuts are very shallow looking and she's not in any danger, I immediately got out the neosporin and the band aids and patched her up but what the flying fuck just happened? She has to go! It's basically a death knell for our relationship because i can't trust her to not hurt herself in SK now. Like I took the knife from her and marched her back to her laptop to finish her assignment while I patched up her leg but holy shit. What if she's at home alone and something makes her upset and she kills herself? Or is this BECAUSE i was here and she'd never do it if there wasn't someone to feel sorry for her, in which case who the FUCK am I even dating?
TL;DR: | gf stabbed herself in the leg out of frustration tonight. I don't know what the appropriate thing to do next is. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend's sister's partner might identify as non-binary, and I think I've been misinformed. What's the best way to clarify/make sure I don't offend?
POST: My [32F] BFF and I have been friends about 14 years, but her older sister Sarah lives 1,200 miles away, so I don't see her much except for on holidays and for big events. Last year for the Christmas get-together, she brought her new partner, Casey. Now, leading up to this event, I was told this was Sarah's girlfriend. And in fact, I believe that I had seen Sarah post about her girlfriend on Facebook. BFF's whole family talked about "her" coming, so I had a pretty good reason to assume that Casey identified as female, although their appearance was somewhat more masculine.
At one point during the party, I referred to Casey as "girl," because I can't remember what it was, but I called her "girl" in the joking way you do with your girlfriends. Anyway, there seemed to be some awkwardness after I did that, and I wondered if I offended, but I let it go in the moment.
Sarah has always been bi(pan?)sexual, and is involved in the BDSM community. She has always posted heavily on Facebook about consent and alternative relationships. After this event, it seemed like she posted more about gender identity and respecting preferred pronouns. Although (hopefully!) it's unlikely these posts were directed only at me, I have been kind of worried about it since.
Anyway, this year's holiday event is coming up and I asked my BFF (Sarah's sister) about her partner's gender identity, and BFF said that she herself has always used female pronouns, but she suspected that Casey might actually be non-binary and use "they."
I've considered FB messaging Sarah and asking about her own and Casey's preferred pronouns in advance of the event, and also if they turn out to be other than female, apologizing if I offended last year. I am worried about this because I really don't know her well at all and it's kind of a personal question. I have also heard that "preferred pronoun" is no longer the accepted terminology, so I don't want to dig a deeper hole. Does anyone have advice on how to approach this?
TL;DR: | Friend's sister's partner has non-binary appearance, and I may have used the wrong pronouns in the past. What's the best way to clarify and right the wrong if necessary? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (M,22) slowly learning that I can't develop new relationships and I need some insight.
POST: My now-ex-girlfriend, call her *Amy*, (F,22), of 6 years and I broke up over a year ago, and I'm finally feeling myself moving on with my life. This feels awesome- I don't feel the need to call her or see her, I'm growing and learning about who I am as person and I recognize that we've developed into new people who are generally incompatible with each other.
Unfortunately, we dated for so long and at such a young age (15-21) that everything about her is still stuck with me. Enter new girl: cute, genuinely kind and good person, has a similar world-view, is super into me. I want to like her, but I'm terrified of getting closer when everywhere we go it's like "*Amy* used to like this too" or "I remember when I did this with *Amy*." This situation has happened with more than one new girl and I've had no problem blowing them off when it got too serious, but this new girl is someone I actually want to get close to, but I guess I'm scared.
I'm just a regular guy at his computer who needs some help/insight into this problem from a stranger or two.
TL;DR: | I can't stop thinking about similarities between my ex-girlfriend and new girls that I want to get closer to, and it's messing me up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My new fiancee [25m] has given me [25f] an ultimatum to permanently delete any and all old photos of my ex. Is this a reasonable demand?
POST: Engaged for a couple of months, together for a year, best friends since teenage years. Finally together and happy as can be, but... The ex of 6+ years is a very sensitive topic for him. He threw a rage fit last night when he discovered that I had only set privacy to "only me" on all my old fb albums instead of deleting them (complete with dramatically throwing off his pack of photos out the fourth floor balcony). Basically said that this is not something we can move on from without having worked it out and told me flat out: "It's either your past or our future." What he fails to understand is that they don't mean so much to me as they do to him. I feel like my past is not confined to this one man and I shouldn't have to edit anything out of my personal history or hard drive. It was an awful fight, he said that keeping on to those kinds of photos is degrating and humiliating to him personally. I, on the other hand, am at peace with my past, I don't want to return to it and have no contact with the ex. And yes, I do feel entitled to my personal effects and do not condone revisionism. There was a whole 'nother fight about why he went on my fb, but that's another can of worms.
TL;DR: | fiancee is acting insecure and wants me to delete/revise my past. Do I oblidge him or stand my ground? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf [20 F] is having a really hard time getting over issues in her head and I [21 M] feel like I'm unhealthy for her at this stage
POST: So my gf was crazy about me for nearly 2 years. In that span she had 2 boyfriends and we became the best of friends.
During that span of time I was dealing with really bad depression and confidence issues so I was not ready for a relationship. I could not do relationships so I chose to be friends with her because I cared a ton about her and we had a lot in common.
Towards the tail end of those two years, maybe a year and a half into this. She had a boyfriend and I had finally recovered from my depression so I tried dating again and as my best friend, I'd tell her about my attempts. My attempts never actually went anywhere. Never even kissed them.
At around the 2 year mark she broke up with her boyfriend and we started hanging out more and eventually got together ^^YAY!
The issue now, 6 months into the relationship is that she has been having some, what seems like, depression issues herself. She says the root of them are that she doesn't feel good enough for me, doesn't understand why I'd choose her, is insanely jealous of one of the girls I went on one date with while she was with her boyfriend, she uses me as a complete support pillar and makes me the center of her life and a few other things in the same vicinity as the above.
For a long time I've been reassuring her that she's beautiful and that I didn't really chose anyone, I love her because of her and that the reason I could never have even thought of liking her before was because she had boyfriends but she says it's not the same thing because she wanted me for 2 years.
This is my first relationship. I feel like I've done everything I can to help her get through this stuff and it keeps coming back and I feel like she constantly questions my love, which hurts since I try to show it to her as much as possible. I feel as though me being with her is unhealthy for her own good and I just don't know what to do about this whole thing. Please help.
TL;DR: | GF liked me for 2 years and had boyfriends but still questions my intentions now that we're together because of 1 girl that I went on a date with while she had a boyfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Turning down a job I've already accepted
POST: I got offered an entry-level job last week at an insurance firm in a city about an hours commute away from me, through an agency. Before I'd heard back from this job, I got an interview for another job and agreed to attend on Wednesday. I then heard back from the first job who offered me a position and I accepted it.
I'd much prefer to have the 2nd job (the one I have an interview for on Wednesday) because the hours are better and it pays more, with much less of a commute. There are 3 people including myself interviewing for the job on Wednesday so it's by no means guaranteed, but I'm not sure what to do. I want to let the people at the first job know that I can no longer accept the position, but I'm due to start a week tomorrow and want to give them as much notice as possible. I won't find out if I have the 2nd job until the end of the week.
Where do I stand with telling the 1st employer I no longer wish to accept the job? I feel terrible, the guy that interviewed me was lovely and the lady at the agency has been really helpful but ultimately the 2nd job is much better for me.
TL;DR: | Accepted a job but have an interview for 2nd job which i'd prefer. Not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by driving without a licence.
POST: So I am 16, live in California, and got my permit about 8 months ago, and 3 days ago I failed my driver's license test by one critical mistake (right turn, not looking over shoulder).
So yesterday my friends tell me in a group chat that they are going to watch a play at another school and invited me to come along. Although not legal, I offer them a ride to the school and agree to watch the play which started at 7 P.M. Play ends at 9:30 and me and 2 other friends go to Jack and the Box to get some food (we are in the same car). Law states that minors are not aloud to drive past 10 P.M. so I try and rush home. On the way home the street lights are blinking red indicating that the intersection becomes like a "stop sign". After about 2 intersections I notice there are a great deal of police pulling people over with their lights on. I thought if I drove responsibly they wouldn't pull me over, I was wrong.
I stop at an intersection and a police officer tells me to roll down my window and proceeds to ask for my driver's license (It was a DUI check). I told him I didn't have one (no point in lying to the police) and he told me to pull over to the right where there were more cars. Another police officer proceeds to ask me questions regarding registration, insurance, car model and year, etc. They ask me if I have any paperwork and I gave them my permit and they asked if I knew I wasn't suppose to be driving this late and or driving at all. They took my permit, women said "scratch him off" and proceeded to give me a traffic ticket. Ticket said, no driver's license and that was it, nothing about the car or my friends.
I had to call my dad which didn't know that I took the car and he had to drive my car home. The ride home he yells at me, telling me that I shouldn't have driven without a license and i'm not suppose to drive my friends. When we get home he takes my keys and my computer away. Now I am here with only my phone and a trip to court.
TL;DR: | Drove at night when i'm not suppose to without driver's license, get pulled over, got a ticket, now no car, and no license till i'm 18 + a trip to court. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Alcoholic sister (60) is getting more and more erratic and needs to move out of Mother's (84) house. Don't know what to do.
POST: Sister (60) has history of drug / alcohol abuse, never worked, always lived at home. Mother (84) lives there, too. Sister has been "normal" for a few years, but every now and then starts drinking and gets erratic (crashes cars, yells, screams, etc.)
Lately, Sister has been barricading herself in Mother's house, yanking the phones out of the wall, locking all doors, refusing to let anyone in. (She's drinking again.) She keeps screaming, "this is muh house get out." I don't think it's safe for Mother, but Mother won't do anything about it.
Brother (55) wants to call adult protective and get a restraining order to keep Sister out of Mother's house, but Mother won't cooperate, because she doesn't want Sister to be homeless. Sister has never been violent towards Mother, but Sister has been violent towards others, including me and Brother.
Do I just go forward with Adult Protective Services and let Sister get put out on the street? She's never worked in her life (doubt she could hold a job, and at 60, with mental issues, who would hire her?)
In an ideal world, I would put Sister in a home of some sort, but none of us can afford that. (Mother is fully capable of living on her own.)
I think Sister would qualify for some sort of public assistance. I just don't know if there's a home for annoying drunks.
TL;DR: | Mom doesn't want to kick alcoholic sister out of Mom's house. Sister may be dangerous, but has no place to go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My wife has gotten lumps on her head,She's been experiencing blackouts of not remembering what she did but still being able to function. Reddit can you help me?
POST: This is actually for my wife. She is having headaches and doing things and not knowing that she is getting them done. for example, she baked cookies the other day and completely forgot that she made them until the timer went off. She also went on a drive and came back and noticed a candle was lit but she didn't remember lighting it.She can only sleep for only 10 or 15 minutes and her head hurts to have it on the pillow. She has discoloration of red and purple that started on her feet and is now spreading up her legs at incredible rates and the lump on her head has more than tripled in 48 hours. She is unable to focus on things and is getting overly upset for no reason.She does have reason to be upset on some things but she is getting overly upset.She also can't really sync her hands up with her actions, such as not being able to hold on to a cup or type.She has not been hit on the head with anything, or fallen.
I am deeply concerned for my wife. We do not have any health care of any sort because we are still young which is why I am hoping that the minds of Reddit could have any possible ideas as to determining what this could possibly be before we take immediate action. She is in medical debt as it is but I can't help but take the risk of taking her to the ER for this.
TL;DR: | My wife has lump on head, hurts, loses memory, hasn't fallen, discoloration of skin from feet to legs, can't sleep, gets overly upset. Need help because we are young college students with no health care. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Think twice before negotiating salary
POST: I applied for a position for 'Entry Level Engineer' which dealt with Network/Sysadmin type of work with linux/windows iis/apache type of stuff as well as putting together new server builds for this web hosting company located at a data center.
I did their questionnaire and was chosen to interview along with four other candidates. I got a call two weeks later and they said they were interested in bringing me on board. So pretty much I had the job.
I really liked what the position had to offer and the type of work I'd be dealing with, but the pay was pretty low. I have rent and student loans to pay, not to mention expenses like everyone else and I just moved to California from North Carolina. So like common protocol, I said I was interested but if we could negotiate the rate at all and I gave them a range between what was offered + $15k. That's all it was.. me asking if we could meet in the middle somewhere. The guy interviewing me wanted me on board and understood so he asked the boss. When I got back in contact with him he said the boss wouldn't budge.. so instead the boss decided since money was such an huge 'issue' for me, that they just decided to go in a different direction.
I think this is ridiculous, it shouldn't hurt to ask. I really wanted the job and in the end would work for what they offered just because of the experience I'd gain.
So in the end.. if you're desperate in getting a job and an offer is given to you.. then think twice about asking for a salary negotiation. However.. if I was given the chance to go back in time.. I would have done it all the same. I think negotiation should be protocol, and everyone should try to get the best deal that they can out of anything they strive for.. why not? I think this in itself shows that you're proactive and don't just take things that are offered to you without *at least trying* to get the best deal.
TL;DR: | Was offered job. I asked to negotiate. They took offer away. I still would have asked to negotiate if I could go back in time. Think twice before salary negotiation (only if you're desperate). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28/F] with my long history of FWBs and dysfunctional relationships is seriously considering giving up relationships all together. Has anyone ever just taken a break?
POST: I'm 28. I've had long relationships, failed engagements, and a lot of FWB type relationships. For a very long time I wasn't interested in a serious relationship. During college and when I first started in my career it wasn't something that I felt like I needed. I did have FWB relationships sometimes juggling several different people.
About a year and half ago, I rekindled an old relationship with a guy I had been madly in love with and after about 6 months he cut off all communication with me and I found out that he was back with his daughter's mother when she sent me a Facebook message asking me if we had indeed had a relationship because that was what was listed on Facebook.
After that I went back to FWB relationships I had before but I miss what I had when I was in a relationship. I tried to seek out partners who I would be compatible with but its all been a bust so far. Either the guys just want sex, which is fine but not what I'm looking for anymore or we just don't click on a deeper level.
I think the best thing for me would be to not have any relationships at all. I'm addicted to the instant gratification of a FWB. I know that if I'm not careful I will have a few drinks and be back on Tinder looking for my next hook up or going through my phone for one of my stand by guys.
My question is has anyone else had this issue? What did you do to ween yourself off these type of relationships and just focus on yourself? Is it possible that I could find "the one" if I'm not looking?
TL;DR: | Tired of hookups. How do you become celibate and stay that way for an extended period of time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need Help with Overdependency on Boyfriend
POST: I've been experiencing a lot of depression lately because I've become too dependent on my boyfriend...to the point where I don't feel like myself anymore because I don't enjoy and/or can't bring myself to partake in the hobbies I used to enjoy. For reference, I am female, we are both in our early twenties and have been together about four years (living together for two).
Part of my problem is my introversion. I have a few friends that I could call to hang out with, but I don't really want to. The past few times I have been out with them, I've felt uncomfortable, bored, and anxious. I'm not eager to repeat those experiences, and there has been no one I've met recently that I would be interested in befriending.
I used to enjoy plenty of alone-time hobbies, so my introversion was never much of a problem in the past. I'd read, shop, or paint, write, etc...but I seldom do any of those things any more. I find it especially hard to do the creative things I used to enjoy because I feel as though I need an excessive amount of alone time to do them (which isn't available since we live together).
I don't know what to do anymore. Our relationship is good and we are both happy in it, but I am going crazy because I feel like I don't enjoy anything without my boyfriend anymore. Even when I get alone time to spend time on the hobbies I would have before we were together, I don't enjoy it because I can't stop thinking about him, and how much more fun I'd be having if he were there (even if that is not really the case...I seriously miss writing, drawing, and crafting misc. items). I've talked to him about it, and he says it's not a healthy way to feel. I agree, but neither of us know what to do about it.
Does anybody have suggestions, or advice? The best things I have come up with so far are possibly forcing myself to do those activities (I've tried, with not much luck...) or joining a club of some sort (the thought of which makes me cringe, I don't know if that would be successful at all).
TL;DR: | Depression caused by or causing overdependency on boyfriend. I don't enjoy doing any of the things I used to do on my own, and I don't feel like myself. Help please! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (28f) caught my husband (29m) of 5 years masturbating in the same room as our infant daughter. I left him and took the baby but my friends and family are telling me I'm being irrational.
POST: mid last week I came through the door after getting off work to find my husband in our living room masturbating to porn on his iPad while my daughter was asleep in her swing. I was revolted that he would disrespect me, the sanctity of our marriage and expose his innocent daughter to something so vile.
I told him to get out and that I would be calling the police that he is a child molester if he didn't leave. He left with huge tears in his eyes and i packed up stuff I would need and left for my parents house. He has tried to call a couple times and my dad has called him to tell him we are safe. Initially my parents were super supportive of me but as I've gotten over my shock (I cried for almost two days straight) and was able to tell them what actually happened they both told me very directly that I am being incredibly irrational and that they know my husband since he was a teenager (my dad was his HS wrestling coach) and that he may have made a bad decision but he's not a child molester nor was he cheating on me.
This pissed me off so I went out for drinks with two of my best friends and they basically said the same thing.
I just don't think I'm wrong on this. I mean the fact that he was looking at other women means he is willing to violate the sanctity of our marriage and what's so disgusting is that he was doing it in front of our beautiful, innocent baby girl.
I have a meeting with a divorce attorney in a couple hours but my mom and dad is desperately telling me to reconsider but after seeing what I saw...I just can't. My parents are telling me that as much as they love my daughter, if I go through with this I will not be able to live at their house and if asked to testify about my husband's character they will say he's a great guy and always have been.
I feel like no one is supporting me and I feel even more alone.
TL;DR: | I caught my husband masturbating in front of our infant daughter and my family and friends aren't supporting me in leaving him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my boyfriend [25M] talking about where our 9 year relationship is going later tonight - any advice?
POST: Using a throwaway. My SO and I have been together 9 years with a 6-month break-up 5 years ago. We've been in couple's counseling the past 6 months to work on our communication skills and see if we're ready to take the next step forward in our relationship. The elephant in the room is do we make each other happy enough to be together as a married couple?
We had our therapy session last week and my SO's answer was no - not only was he not ready, but he doesn't really know himself or know if I'm the right person for him (sounding a bit harsh but I'm summarizing 75 minutes into one sentence). He thought we were using couple's therapy to figure that out. I was shocked because my impression was that we had decided a few months ago that we were already moving towards that, and at this point we were working through some other issues to prep ourselves for spending our lives together. I know that my boyfriend was working through some issues - depression among them - but didn't know that included questioning me as a partner or our relationship.
This is not the first time we've had completely different views about our relationship and each other. The session upset me so much that I've been distant and moody since. I've asked for my space and he's respected that, and we've had a few discussions over the past couple of days about whether we should break-up or not, but neither of us can decide either way. I'm torn between ending it for good or trying to work this out, but I'm so emotional I don't know what a "middle ground" could look like between those two. What are good questions for us to talk through tonight that will help us see if we should try and work this out or move on?
TL;DR: | 9 year relationship and he doesn't know if I'm the right person for him to marry. We're talking later tonight - what questions can I ask to see whether this relationship is worth working on or not? Any advice welcome. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my Partner [20 F] of over two years and live together, is no longer sexually attracted to me
POST: Hello. Last night was a pretty heavy night for my partner and I. We have been through a lot but last night was slightly different. She opened up to me and told me that she isn't sexually attracted to me because I act like a child so many times. That I always ask her how she is feeling even through making love.
I admit that I have made most of the mistakes in the relationship but I feel I have come so far since the day she met. I am not sure if she has this idea of what a perfect man is and if I am far off that or even capable of being that person she needs.
She says that she thinks about what a life with some one else would be like because it would be fresh without 2 years of problems and issues on our shoulders.
I have developed a mentality that a man is always wrong when it comes to a women, and it has gotten me through most of our problems and honestly it has made me stronger when being responsible. I struggle to tell her that she is wrong.
Is she fantasizing about a life that doesn't exist?
What kind of man do girls want? (e.g George Clooney picking her up and doing her against the wall)
I want to be romantic and strong and know exactly how she feels and what she wants, and I would love any thoughts or advice. Thank you
TL;DR: | My Girlfriend thinks I act like a child too much and says she is no longer sexually attracted to me because she feels like a mother |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [28 M] haven't said "I love you" yet
POST: A few months before we met I just got out of a five year toxic relationship so naturally I had some commitment/intimacy issues and wasn't really in a rush. We've been dating exclusively for six months, things have been absolutely wonderful, but we haven't said "I love you." Is that weird? How long until people usually say I love you? It was honestly not an issue until a couple people mentioned something to me about it.
I don't know if I'm supposed to be concerned but hearing from other people that this behavior is considered "strange" kind of caused me to get a little paranoid. I find myself wondering if he's as into me as I'm into him or if he takes this relationship seriously. Also I've got this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that he's hiding something because sometimes he seems so skittish around his phone. I will NEVER be one of those girlfriends thats snooping through his stuff. I've recently tried to be more affectionate because I thought maybe that might push things in the right direction but his level of affection hasn't really budged. I don't know what to do.
I want to clarify that I'm not trying to force him to say "I love you" but rather figure out if he's serious about me because I really don't want to waste my time. I'm not looking for another boyfriend, but a serious partner. I realize that I am more insecure than most and have trust issues. I just care very deeply about him and I'm so scared that I'll get strung along and get emotionally invested in someone who doesn't feel the same.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend doesn't tell me if he loves me, not sure if he's serious about our relationship. Are my friends and peers making me paranoid for nothing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] girlfriend [18F] kissed another girl and they want a threesome
POST: Hey all
My girlfriend (we'll call her J) has a close friend (we'll call her C) of hers who I am also friends with.
Her friend (C) expressed interest in me, and asked my girlfriend if she would be cool with a threesome.
(J) asked me if I wanted to and I said no. I'm not really into the idea of having sex with people outside the relationship. (C) was sad but understood.
They hung out alone later that night and kissed each other after getting drunk.
Fast forward two weeks to today and I could tell (J) was hiding something because she was acting incredibly defensive. After probing her for some time she 'confessed' that (C) had asked to kiss her while they were cuddling but she said "no."
I said that I didn't believe that was why she was acting really defensive and after a few more minutes of probing and laughing at how ridiculous it was for her to pretend that was a big deal she 'confessed' that they had kissed each other on the cheek goodnight.
I said that wasn't bad and I still didn't buy it. And finally she (probably) spilled the beans and said that they had kissed.
She was very apologetic. This isn't the first girl she has kissed while we've been together (the other was her best friend).
She then said that she really wanted to have a threesome with me because "it would make you happy" and I feel like she has ulterior motives. I told her it made me uncomfortable but she kept pushing it so I agreed and now I feel like I was used as a means to an end. Originally I thought (C) wanted me but now I think she might want (J)?
Granted, (C) is going through a really rough time and really could use affection.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend kissed old friend of hers, they want a threesome. Both are attractive nothing wrong there. Feels like I'm being used. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do you help someone who can't manage their money or life?
POST: I'm a 20 year old female with a 25 year old brother. There is so much to this story, but if you need more details, just ask.
My brothers (I have a 29 year old brother) and I have been given an excellent life. My parents have their missteps of course, but overall they are amazingly supportive and have provided us with everything. My oldest brother is extremely successful, and I am very happy, doing great in school and holding a serving job.
My brother took six years to get through college but finally got an accounting degree. He got a job and things seemed fine. Then his on-again off-again girlfriend of five years dumped him for good in October and he sank into a very deep depression which affected his work and he was laid off in March. He moved back home and has been living off unemployment. He now has a serving job, was recently talking about an accounting job offer, and his exgirlfriend and him are working on their relationship. Things seemed to be looking up.
But somehow, my accountant brother cannot handle his own goddamn money. Bill collectors have been calling since I came home from school in May. Mind you, all he has to pay for is his car payment, car insurance, and credit card. He does not give my parents anything for food or rent. He should be making more than enough to cover these bills. Today, the bank repossessed his car. My mom is freaking out because my dad is going to be livid when he comes home and finds out.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help. He has made this year so fucking hard on my family and he doesn't even seem to care. He doesn't see how his irresponsibility is affecting my family. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do I help him?
TL;DR: | My brother can't manage his money and the bank repossessed his car. My parents are about at their breaking point with his irresponsibility and the drama he brings to this family. How can I help him fix his life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] feel like I am not adequate in bed because my SO [18 F] doesn't feel like having sex with me.
POST: We're in a long distance relationship and my SO and I havent seen each other in a month. Druing the first she was all on me and really wanted to have sex with me, but now she doesn't, she just ignores and it feels that she doesn't want to because I think I am bad at it. I didn't bring her to orgasm the first night, but I really wanted to tonight, but she wasn't into having sex or anything. I wanted to get in the mood the second night, but all she did all night was a play a game. I feel so fucking bad, because I think she really doesn't want to have sex with me. She keeps hinting all through the day that she does and kept reminding me to bring condoms, but she didn't want to tonight. All these empty promises and it makes me feel so fucking bad. What should I do?
TL;DR: | I think I am bad at sex because SO just ignores me when I get in the mood and just played a game on her phone the whole night. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [21 M] I want to start dating again, but I'm stuck.
POST: Hey guys,
So this is my first time posting here and I'm hoping for some advice. I fell for this one girl about two years ago. I want to move on, I am tired of being stuck fawning over her. I want to get out there and date new people.
To make matters worse, she is one of my 2 suite mates (I'm a junior in college). I know I have this problem where I have put her on a pedestal and I'm making things worse.
The biggest problem though is I have little to no self worth. I don't feel like girls are attracted to me. I'm about 5'6''-5'7'' and so it doesn't help that I'm short. I'm terrible at small talk, where the conversations usually go:
"Hey, my name is TryingToForget, whats your name?"
"Hi, I'm X it's nice to meet you."
Then I do the normal things, like ask what major they are or where they're from, but after those questions are answered I just blank. I have nothing else.
I know that under all this timidness and lack of self worth there is a very attractive/interesting person but I can't get him to come out when I need him to.
The only time I ever truly feel like I'm the fucking man is when I'm talking to the one girl that it will never matter.
So, I turn to you Reddit. Help me make myself awesome. Help me move on from this girl and kick ass at dating and life.
TL;DR: | I want to make a change in my life to start fixing things but I have little to no self worth and I fell for my one of my best friend and roommate of 2 years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Death and Tattoos
POST: I'll condense this as much as possible.
My brother is stationed in Afghanistan, and recently killed a man from about 8 feet away. He's looking to commemorate his kill with a tattoo, and I need some creative ideas to send him.
The details: While doing a structure search, he heard a noise from a back room and went to check it out (alone, and has already been chastised for it). An Afghani man burst out of a closet when my brother entered the room and had a pistol in his hand. My brother, surprised as shit, pulled the trigger before aiming and shot the guy in the knee and then the chest.
TL;DR: | creative tattoo ideas and pics incorporating death, shots to the knee and chest, but in a clever, subtle way. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Fat loss and working out week 1.
POST: Hello everyone that might be reading this,
I'm a 20 year old that has been overweight/fat for a long period of my life. I peaked at 210 lbs or 92 kg when I was about 16, from that point on I decided to lose the weight no matter what. I ate a lot less, exercised sometimes and dropped down to my lowest point ever of 145lbs/64kg. I'm 6'1/183cm.
Seeing as my body got what a lot of people refer to as skinny-fat, I am now deciding to work on my body with something I have never done before, lifting weights.
At the moment I am 71kg/156lbs. (I tried to put on some muscle but my diet was still crappy, this is my own fault, I know what my diet should consist of.)
But after deciding what I was going to do, I have no idea how to tackle an obstacle that I have been facing almost my entire life.
I hate being fat/seeing fat flab around on my body. For once I'd like to have a flat stomach and see what it's like just feeling good about my body.
Would it be a good idea to lower my body fat percentage to a good amount before I start my weight lifting routine? (Starting Strength.)
Cause at the moment I'm afraid my fat percentage would increase to a point where I'd look fat eventhough I'd be gaining muscle.
Regardless of which option I will take (losing fat before starting my routine or just starting my routine and losing fat later.) I will be posting a bi-weekly update to keep myself motivated, and to inform others on what would be the good way to tackle this.
TL;DR: | Lost 40lbs before, still skinnyfat. Go from skinnyfat to skinny and then to fit, or from skinnyfat to fit-ish and then dieting down to fit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (25f) boyfriend and I (25m) have trouble sleeping together - He snores and fidgets and I wake at the drop of a pin. Any help or suggestions?
POST: We've been dating for 2.5 years.
There's been some strain on our relationship because it is so difficult for us (mainly me) to sleep in the same bed. He has relatively recently started snoring loudly and consistently at night. It has been a combination of drinking (even just a beer or glass of whiskey each night) and weight gain (we think?). Also, he fidgets a ton and his moving and rolling around shakes me awake. It ends up with me either getting very little, shitty sleep where I have to nudge him to stop snoring all throughout the night, or me moving to another bed or couch.
We do not live together and fortunately he has two beds and two rooms at his house, so I just sleep upstairs. When he sleeps at my place (no extra bed or room) I'm almost guaranteed to not get sleep.
For me, sleeping separately benefits me far greater than sharing a bed. Getting no sleep and being exhausted for the entire day is horrible. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is taking this situation personally, and thinks that it's destroying our intimacy and romance, and questions whether I love him anymore, complains about me sleeping in another bed, etc. It's sort of this "how could you do this to me?" attitude.
Anyway, I would really love any suggestions from people who have either recovered from snoring a lot, or who have improved with sleeping heavier and not waking up at any sound/movement.
Thanks a ton.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend snores and fidgets while sleeping, so I hardly get sleep since I am a light sleeper. Need advice to save my relationship and sleep well |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M/F] with my ___ [22 M/F] 1.5 years, how to get past questioning the past
POST: I typed this on my smartphone, so I apologize in advance. This won't be too long, but I had a girlfriend, who I fell in love with, and thought it was mutual. She was going through some tough times so I supported her financially, helped her get an excellent paying job, and just was a great boyfriend overall.
Then she ditched me on New Years and tested positive for chlamydia a month later. At first I took responsibility and she threatened to leave but stayed. I later found out when we broke up that she told her mom, who told my dad, which created some drama. Anyways, I tested negative and she cried.
Being in love and experiencing great sexual chemistry for the first time, I had just turned a blind eye to this and assumed it was from a previous relationship. But I asked no questions like an idiot and continued the relationship because there was no way THIS girl would cheat on me. I suspect it was her ex boyfriend because she kept bringing him up after it. Wow looking back I feel like a complete idiot. But at the times it was like wedding bells and fairy lights.
The more I type, the dumber I feel....anyways.
We stop having sex for 2 months and then our relationship becomes incredibly passionate and emotionally intense. We begin planning for marriage, we pick out our house, and everything.
My business becomes shaky, stress and paranoia causes sex to stop. Then she starts hanging out with some other guy and dumps me and begins dating him. I find out because she literally just posts his picture on her Instagram and Facebook and her mom comments like "He's cute ;)". I'm still pissed to this day about it.
I am now relieved the woman is out my life, there is no hoping she returns, but I get these questions like:
WTF Did I just experience? Was that love or something else?
TL;DR: | Start relationship with woman, tests positive for chlamydia, becomes distant, leaves me for a guy at her church. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My first year wedding anniversary is coming up and I don't have much money. Any creative ideas for a first-year anniversary gift (and a birthday gift too since it's coming up)? If it makes her cry, I'll take pictures of it and update.
POST: We met over two years ago, got married last year, and this June 6th will mark our one year anniversary. She's 23 and I'm 31. I never proposed to her and we didn't have a wedding. As a matter of fact, almost none of our friends know we're married. She's wearing an engagement ring that her mom loaned her and we registered at the count clerk's office. I promised her that one day I'll give her a real wedding and I'm still saving up for it, but between my low-paying job and my massive student debt (protip: don't major in English lit) I've been able to save only close to 1K. I would like to use some of this money to make her cry in a good way.
We agreed (due to our lack of funds) that we would celebrate only a few holidays per year. Birthdays & Christmas will involve gifts. Valentine's day and our bf/gf anniversary will have a special dinner but no gifts. And our wedding anniversary will be presents based on the yearly [gift calendar] The year is paper.
With this in mind, what can I do that'll be both creative (I won't take credit for reddit's creativity, I promise) and romantic? I was thinking a blank notebook and write something romantic or sweet everyday for a year (or forever?). And for her birthday, I.... have no idea lol.
TL;DR: | 1st anniversary and birthday coming up. I'm poor. Need gift ideas to make wife cry (in a good way) |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: iPod backup corrupted and I need help extracting certain items.
POST: My moms got a new iPhone and when we tried to restore her old settings to her new iPhone it no longer works. What happens is it goes to the black apple screen for about 5 seconds and then flips to the "slide to unlock screen" and then back every 5-10 seconds. She only had the one backup which I made her create before we got the new iPhone.
I have managed to get her pictures off her phone during while the phone is flipping back and forward but I cannot get her contact list or her notes and calender.
TL;DR: | What I am looking for is a way to extract her contacts, calender and notes from the backup file on my computer and into a format where I can put it on to her new iPhone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I want to scream.
POST: Spent around 2 years together and we left with mutual intentions. We tried to get back together but then I found out you wanted to just play around. Now you ask me to come back when I'm happily in another relationship. Yes, I was pregnant with your child but I chose an abortion because neither of us could handle a child. I met with you that last time to say good bye and all you did was physically hold me down from . I feel like a terrible person because I had to lie just for you to allow me to leave. I just wanted us to be friends but now I can't be.
TL;DR: | Spent two yrs together, happily moved on, ex tried to get me to come back went over to make amends was held down out of my will. Can't be friends |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33F] with my husband (34M) in a dispute over money with father in-law
POST: Hi all,
I'm a long time lurker on this sub and now hoping for some advice myself.
My father in law loaned my husband and I a substantial sum of money to help us buy our house 18mths ago.
We discussed the arrangement extensively and reached a verbal agreement that the money would be payable, including interest, on sale of the house or taken from my husbands inheritance, whichever is sooner. He (my FIL) got his lawyer to draft an agreement which went back and forth because I am also a lawyer and wasn't happy with the drafting (too much ambiguity). We never actually finalised it and have been going along without issue until this week...
My FIL is now demanding we pay a monthly interest amount. This was never part of the original agreement. He was very nasty to my husband about it when he blindsided him with the request last night. Name calling, aggression, questioning out financial decisions etc
I don't know what to do. I am confident that legally he would be stuffed in trying to come after the money, but my husband wants to find a way to pay it. I think this is because he doesn't want this to ruin what he has left of their relationship.
I totally understand this and would probably be ok with it except we have a baby due in two months and money will be tight for a while.
I guess I want to know how I can deal with this sensitively but in a way that doesn't put my husband and I under huge financial pressure??
TL;DR: | father in law lent us money and suddenly decided we have to pay him interest. Has been nasty and aggressive and don't know what to do. |
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