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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (21/F) am interested in a (29/m); looking for conversational tips for when I feel pressured as well as ways to subtly express interest
POST: I'm 21 and I work seasonally. Last year I met a man (29) whom I grew strong feelings for and I suspected it may be mutual. I never came directly out and told him how I felt because he was involved with someone.
When I returned to work again in the same place as him I was excited but I'm finding it more difficult to deal with how strongly I feel for him.
Where he's involved I'm afraid that if I don't watch everything I do around him other people will start to judge. When I get a chance to speak to him one on one things feel fine, but when we're sitting in a group the conversations feel one sided and I find I have trouble keeping it going.
I guess what I'd like to know is how to converse with him without feeling pressured when we're in a group. I'd also like tips on how to subtly say I'm interested still, last year I made attempts to let him know but now I seem to have no clue what to do.
TL;DR: | Still interested in a man I liked last summer and I want to subtly tell him so. I also would like tips on how to converse because my conversation skills with him get shotty when we're in a group of people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18] is still confused about her [20]
POST: Hi Reddit,
I went out with this girl for 2 to 3 weeks now. I called her my girlfriend now but recently she kinda want to distance herself from me a bit when she hangs out with her friends. It's like she needed some "alone time" with them but most of her friends are male... It kinda looked like she is flirting with them but I don't understand Japanese... I can't kiss her goodbye when she's around them too... I could only put my arm around her hips while she walks...
Is it common for girls to be like that?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend" looks like flirting with her male friends, cannot show sign of affection (no kisses but holding hands/arm around waist while walking is acceptable) towards her when she's around her friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F20] am dealing with an overly-flirtatious friend [M20] who makes my boyfriend [M22] uncomfortable.
POST: To start off, I don't make friends very easily, and it's rare for me to find someone that I enjoy hanging out with, so this is a big deal to me.
Recently, a new guy was hired in my department at work and we hit it off pretty well. He's entertaining to be around and makes the work a lot easier and more enjoyable. We have only known each other for a few weeks, but already he's become a good friend.
However, this guy has expressed a pretty serious interest in me. I've told him several times that I have a boyfriend, and he says he understands, but whenever we talk or text he's constantly making sexual comments, asking questions about my sex life, or trying to get me to be sexual with him (i.e. "So what are you wearing...?"). I asked him to tone it down/stop a few times, but they keep going. After getting to know him more and realizing he's genuinely a good guy, I just laugh it off and tell him that's not appropriate, but I can tell it's really making my boyfriend uncomfortable.
I'm not sure what to do in this situation. I don't want to lose him as a friend because he's a good (albeit horny) guy that I get along well with, and I don't really have a lot of friends, so it's nice to have someone to talk to when I'm bored. But it doesn't seem like the sexual comments are going to stop no matter how much I try to stop them, and I can't hang out with or text this guy without my boyfriend getting upset because he doesn't like him.
To clarify, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months now and everything with our relationship is wonderful. He isn't worried about me cheating or anything like that. He just thinks this guy is crossing a lot of lines and it doesn't sit well with him.
TL;DR: | New work buddy is overly sexual/flirty. I laugh it off, but my boyfriend is bothered by it. I don't want to lose my new friend. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Where can I find teachers rights involving students?
POST: So today, (I'm in high school) my table group was kind of goofing off while the teacher was going around checking homework and we were just laughing yet it wasn't really disturbing the class. The teacher came by and said "sounds like we're off topic here" in kind of a stern way so we all kind of mumbled sorry and went back to work so I look down, look back up at him and he's looking at me and says "i'd expect a 'yes sir i'll get right on it'" so I replied "Yea i'm on it" (tiny bit of sarcasm)
My question is are high school teachers allowed to say that? Like with the whole "sir" thing? I thought no they were not allowed to say that or demand to be referred to as "sir." my teacher never asked to be called that before and he directed it at me when he said that.
Let me know if there is any rule or law talking about that and if you know the answer.
TL;DR: | Teacher asked me to call him sir and I wanna know if they can do that. Highly recommend reading the whole thing though |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me, 18 F with my partner, M 19, have been dating for over 6 months. I am feeling some retroactive jealousy
POST: It isn't really insecurity, more like resentment towards my partner. I have never really been in such a nice relationship like this. It's all kind of new. My partner is the first one I have really kissed, done the whole dating thing, and cared for. We started off as friends, so I would know about his relationships with other girls. Back then I didn't care, but now I feel a little bit resentful towards his experience and my lack of. (Late bloomer, I suppose.) I have never kissed anyone else but him, while he has dated a other girls and kissed them and whatnot. I have dated other people, but never kissed or stuff. Hugs and hand holding, yeah.
I know I shouldn't care about his past, but I can't help but feel a bit sad knowing this. I suppose a lot of it stems from it being a fairly new relationship and my feelings of lacking experience. I guess I feel like I might have missed out? I dunno. We were raised differently, so he had a lot more freedom growing up.
Please respectfully just tell me your past experiences if you've ever felt the way I do and how you dealt with it.
TL;DR: | Have you ever felt resentful or sad about your partner's past? How did you deal with it? I feel resentful towards him, and I don't like it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: what temperature would an apartment have to reach inside before you could say it was unfit for human occupation?
POST: pretty sure it reached close to 90 yesterday and had me walking around in boxers and a washcloth on my head.
the issue is, after going through a rigorous background check for this spot, and under time constraints, i was only made aware of the 'no window ac units' as i was being given the pen to sign. i thought about walking for split second, but the place was too good for me to pass up under the circumstances.
i was told something along the lines of the building being old, and the wiring not being able to handle all 10 tenants running ac at once. not sure if i buy that completely when the landlord is responsible for paying the electricity bills.
open windows and fans arnt cutting it for me during some of the days i am at home (in CA, so nights are pretty cool). and sitting looking at my perfectly awesome portable ac unit (arguably not a 'window' unit although it does of course vent through one) hurts. I had plugged it in the other day to test the dimming effect it might have on the lights inside and there was none, its just loud and obvious i am using it.
i cant find anywhere is says that excessive temperature specifically violates landlord/tenant law. there is just the generalised 'must be fit for living'. what do you think?
TL;DR: | landlord wont let me use ac, but its hot as shit. how hot does it have to get before i have legite grounds to plug in? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me M/23...do you think she'll ever talk to me again..F/22
POST: She was my first love, we dated our last semester of college. She went to Wyoming from june to October, I tried to go but couldn't. The relationship fell apart in August. She broke up with me twice. First time on the phone, then she apologized and said she didn't want to decide anything till she got back. Five days later tried talking to her she said she needed separation now! Turns out she fell for a guy out there and she said she wasn't making me happy. We just didn't talk for three months, I went to an audition in Michigan way home I stayed with a friend in Rochester, turns out she lived there. Things weren't awkward we hadn't seen each other in almost 6 months. Spent a day together felt like we were dating it was really really nice. Then the day ended with her saying 'I can't entertain you anymore' and her running off to bible study then hanging with a friend later. I left and that was almost two months ago. I've been with one other girl since but I think I'm not over her because I just haven't had a chance to be with anyone, I honestly feel like she's never going to talk to me again, what do you guys think?
TL;DR: | first love, bad break up, re-met 6 months later things were good, then she said ' i can't entertain you anymore i left, don't know if she'll contact me again.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 F] with my bf [28 M] of 3 years. Am I a jerk for abandoning him to travel?
POST: I love to travel. I never had much money growing up so I hardly ever got to do it, even through college. I have a good job now and have been squirreling away money so that I can use it for trips. My bf feels the same way about traveling and would love to do the same, but he's in school at the moment so his funds are low. He really doesn't have the money to spend right now.
My friend's getting married at the end of the year. It's a destination wedding and I would LOVE to go and stay for a week or two afterwards. But I know he can just barely afford to attend the ceremony. In addition, a bunch of our friends are planning a Europe trip this summer, which sounds amazing, but I know for sure he couldn't swing it.
I would love to do all these things with him, of course, but since I know he can't, would I be a total asshole to even mention the possibility of me going without him? I feel like it would be a shitty move and he would feel left out and bummed that he can't afford it (I don't blame him), but selfishly, I still want to go...
I guess I just need someone on the outside to tell me that it would be really fucked up of me to go without him. (Or maybe not. I don't know?)
TL;DR: | I want to travel, but my bf can't afford it. Is it shitty of me to ask if I could go on my own? |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: Passion-->Money-->Wife-->Happiness?
POST: I am totally rudderless. I fucked my grades at Tulane but managed to get a B.S. in Mathematics. I am 30, finishing a Masters in Finance at a local college (DePaul) only because I didn't know what else to do and I am running through my savings. I don't know how to sell myself to employers so I haven't had a job in 3 years and my skills have atrophied. I was an actuary for 6 months and sucked at it so I got laid off.
Facebook friends are successful lawyers and dentists, and I don't know if I should maybe go to law school. If I get an A- average, maybe I can get into a good school here. Never had a gf, don't have any friends, and therapists don't help me get over my depression I have had since I was 13.
TL;DR: | How do I find out what to do if I'm too depressed and unfocused to find it? Time is running out and no woman is going to want me if I don't do something. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Bf (29m)is talking to girls a lot behind my (27f) back and it's becoming clear it's not innocent.
POST: He's been drinking lately and getting upset for no reason. He gets insecure and suspicious of me all the time. We had a hiccup a few months ago where I was talking to an ex about our issues and it went off the rails. I knew I should've gone to someone else with it, but I thought my ex and I could still have a relationship like that because we were trying to be friends.
Since then (two months ago) I haven't hung out with any male friends.
Been saying he's coming home at 10 and not rolling in until 2 or 3. All times where he's either been with female friends one on one or like last weekend where we sent me asnapchat of him at dinner with some friends. The girl adjacent from him was his ex of four years.
Tonight he gets super insecure and drunk and passes out. I look at his phone. He monitors me all the time so I thought why the hell not. I found pictures of naked breasts, snap from a girl saying "I'm coming for you"with a wedding dress emoji, and old pictures redownloaded of him and his other ex of only 18 months.
I now truly believe in the theory "don't go looking for something bad bc you're bound to find it". And "guilty people are always suspicious of everyone else".
I don't know what to do or how to approach this. I feel like he made me out to be this terrible person even though i told the truth and there was no pictures or any sexual innuendo. Here i come to find this.... what should i do?
TL;DR: | bf is getting pictures of boobs and stuff and talking to exes a lot while making me feel like im the shady one. What should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [27/F] Boyfriend [29/M] looking at girls in lingerie on Reddit. Am I overreacting?
POST: So I caught my long distance boyfriend looking at girls in lingerie in sexually suggestive positions on Reddit. I talked to him about it and explained he likes lingerie and poses. I know this because he's asked me many times to dress in lingerie and take sexy selfies. He LOVES my body, seriously, he's obsessed with it. Never once made me think I was never good enough or lost interest in me physically. Calls me beautiful, sexy, etc. He apologized and said he'd stop. It made me very upset, insecure, and inadequate. Am I over reacting? None of the girls were special, just typical sexy lingerie selfies. He said he likes looking at nice bodies though, that's what's making me upset. I'm so insecure already and that just made it worse. Truly, am I over reacting? I like nice bodies on guys too but I wouldn't look because I know it would upset him.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend looking at girls in lingerie and seductive poses on Reddit. He's asked me many times to do that too before he started looking. Am I getting upset over nothing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [28M] says that I [20F] can be manipulative when we are trying to resolve issues. Please help.
POST: So I've been dating my SO for about half a year. He's a wonderful boyfriend. Always incredibly supportive and patient, and I love him very much.
Before I dated M, I dated A for 3 years. A was almost the polar opposite of M. He was very jealous and controlling, and would manipulate me into feeling like everything was my fault when we had issues. He had his good sides, but it got too hard to deal with for me, especially being long distance.
I'm genuinely concerned that I might have picked up some of that from A. M says that I don't listen, when he approaches me about things I get very defensive, and that I make it seem like things are his fault in everything.
I've been through that and it's horrible. I was just wondering if there was any good advice you all had about how to approach situations like this. How to approach not being defensive, and how to talk out issues in a really positive and helpful manner. As for the listening, I'm going to get back on medication for my ADHD, which I hope will help, and every time he says something I make sure that if it was a request that I do it immediately or that I at least know that I registered that he said something, instead of me just auto-replying. I just really want to be as patient as he is for me, and I'm afraid that I make things worse.
TL;DR: | I need help on how to approach not being defensive, and how to talk out issues in a really positive and helpful manner. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18F] close friend [19M] of two years did a complete 180 in the way he treats me as soon as he left to college...
POST: J (friend) and I have known each other for awhile now and we've always had each other's backs. He's helped me through some rough times and we each go to the other with our various worries about the future and what not. He's always been a grump with a heart of gold and despite what he claims he's a nice guy.
But for the past month or so he's been really off. I feel like it started after he went to this party and **something** happened that he wouldn't tell me about, ever since then he's been really distant.
We went from talking at least 3 times a week to *maybe* once. I know he's been busy, and so have I so the drop in contact was expected. But recently he's done something completely out of character. He said he couldn't come to my birthday because of a big test and then proceeded to completely forget my birthday altogether. I later learned that he was actually running in the local electric run. I haven't talked to him since last week, a couple days before my birthday, as he was pulling an all nighter and was presumably busy studying and stopped responding after awhile.
I'm just really confused and wondering why he's seemingly changed into a whole other person in such a short span of time...
TL;DR: | Friend has started acting weird after attending a party where something he won't tell me about happened. Went so far as to lie to me for something kind of dumb. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Possible relationship between overeating/binging and iron deficiency?
POST: Hi all! First, thanks so much for being such an awesome sub. You have been such an inspiration to for me so far.
I wanted to share something I have noticed about my own patterns and see if anyone has any knowledge on the subject or similar experiences. For background, I (F/18) have had iron deficient anemia since puberty, and take the iron supplement, Palafer, daily. I have suffered with bulimia for six years and am finally well into recovery (which unfortunately means weight gain), and am able to healthfully lose a little of the extra weight I've gained since getting ED help. I have been tracking my calories on MyFitnessPal and I also record when I take Palafer each night so I can be sure I took it and don't accidentally take two.
Usually, I am very good at handling cravings and ignoring that voice that tells me to overeat or binge. However, over the last few months I have had a few slip ups where I can not seem to overcome these feelings and eventually end up giving in. I had one of those days again today, and after logging the extra food, I happened to be looking at a chart on MFP that shows my calories consumed over the last 90 days. I only had about 6 days that were significantly over my set caloric limit so it wasn't so bad. I don't know what made me do this, but I decided to compare this chart with my record of taking Palafer. I noticed that every time I overate, I had forgotten to take my Palafer the previous night. These were the only nights I forgot to take the supplement. So basically I observed: Ambrosiapie forgets Palafer, ambrosiapie overeats the next day.
Is this just a crazy random happenstance? Has anyone else noticed anything similar, forgetting supplements then overeating the next day? I am interested to know if this is purely coincidental or if it actually makes a difference. Google has not been very helpful for me.
Let me know if this should be in a different sub.
Thanks!
TL;DR: | ambrosiapie forgets to take iron supplement, ambrosiaie overeats the next day. Coincidence? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] with my friends [early 30s M and F] they cannot see that their ideas are extreme
POST: Hey there.... Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I have been friends with a group of people for a long time (over 5 years). It's quite a large group of mutual friends with people of various ages in different life stages. We made friends at University and everyone is relatively well educated (Engineering, Masters etc.). I don't know if that means anything I guess.
One of the couples has recently gotten pregnant. Which is fantastic. I am incredibly happy for them. The problem is that they believe that modern medicine is terrible and that giving birth in a hospital will make your child sick etc. They intend to give their child homeopathic remedies and believe in a natural birth at home or maybe a homeopathic assisted hospital (I had no idea these exist). I understand that it is their choice so I don't bring it up. Other people who have brought it up are basically made to feel like they're stupid and the parents are just very defensive about it all.
recently I found out that they don't intend to vaccinate their child. They had an argument about it with others and they pretty much ignored when someone pointed out the WHO resources on this.
It's becoming increasingly uncomfortable for me to see these people put the mom, their child and even other kids at risk. Is there anything I could do?
TL;DR: | New parents don't believe in modern medicine and don't want to vaccinate their kid. It makes me uncomfortable. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 9 month long distance relationship falling apart
POST: First time posting and long time lurker. My girlfriend (f,24) and I (m,24) have been dating for almost 3 years now but for the last 9 months we have had a long distance relationship. Just to give you a little back story we've been best friends since 1st year in college and started dating 4th year in university. After graduating I moved to a Toronto for post grad where things got more serious as she only lived/worked 30 minutes away from me.
After graduating I immediately got a marketing job (job allows me to work from home or anywhere as long as I am online) and had to move back home to save money and pay off my student loans. I currently have only 1 month left to pay of my loans but our relationship has been pretty rocky now because we hardly get to see each other as she always works on the weekends which are the days I get off. I feel like we are growing apart and she is becoming very distant. She no longer says she loves me and I feel like she puts little effort into our relationship. When ever she has a day off on a weekend she will always be too tired to hang out when I am willing to drive to her house. I even offer to book a hotel so we can spend some time in the city but she always has some lame excuse (By the way she is not cheating on me and does not hang out with any of her friends as they are too busy).
In 4-5 months when I have my loans paid off and have some money in the bank I am planning on moving back to the city but I feel like by then it will be too late. I've talked to her about this issue and she says the distance thing is really getting to her and that I should just find some one else because I'm not good enough for her. I'm just looking for some advice on how to proceed. I know she's not cheating on me and that I am the only person in her life as her friends no longer talk to her anymore. I feel like if we moved in together things would be back to back to normal.
TL;DR: | Been dating for almost 3 years now and we've been having a long distance relationship for 9 months and were drifting apart. I'll be moving back to the city in 4-5 months but that may be too late for our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Legal advice/ insight/ suggestions. I need help.
POST: Alright so a month ago I went to a party. Things got out of hand, I drank too much (my fault, I owned up to it), and the people I was with ditched me on the side of the road. An ambulance shows and takes me to the hospital. I snap out of it the next morning, and wake up. The Dr and nurses said I had alcohol poisoning, and they found pills in my pocket. They asked me what the pills were, and I have no clue. I'm not one to take pills to begin with, and sure as hell would avoid them if I was drinking.
Fast forward to today, I get a call from the PD in that city questioning me on it. Asking me who I know there, what the pills were, if I've ever been to jail, what medications am I on if any, and said "Well I would hate to have to put a warrant out for your arrest over something like this."
Part of me is thinking that the PD was using a scare tactic on me, but the other side of me is scared shitless.
TL;DR: | Got drunk at a party in another city, woke up in the hospital, get a call from the PD questioning me on pills that I never accepted, knew I had, or anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being too tired
POST: Happened this morning.
SO and myself went to bed around midnight. I was happy for not having any lectures the following day and finally being able to catch some sleep.
5:45 BEEP BEEP BEEP
Get up, prepare breakfast, wash myself and drive SO to the train station. Drove back home. The urge to sleep is strong but I have some chores to do.
I start immediately, washing the dishes, hang out the just finished laundry, post some important letters. Last thing left to do is buying some salmon filets to cook lunch.
Satisfied with all I have accomplished by now I take a rest on the sofa.
Just 10 minutes.
The minutes pass and I get up again, put on my shoes and venture out to get the salmon.
Enter the first store, to the freezer, no salmon!
No fish at all. Strange, well let's try the next store, not far away anyways. Enter the second store, to the freezer, NO FISH!
I start to stress out. Surprisingly I meet my mother at the second store, she tells me that there is some big fish plague and that I have to swing my fishing rod. I head back home, take the fishing rod and off to the pond. That's the moment it hits me. My mother lives 200km away from me, there's only one store in town and I don't own any fishing rod...
I open my eyes, the clock tells me it's 13:39 (2afterleet). The meal has to be finished and ready to eat at 14:00. It all felt so real :(
TL;DR: | Being tired, have to buy fish, swung my fishing rod, don't own a fishing rod, super realistic dream instead |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Testimony For a Trial
POST: Reddit, I need your help. I've been asked to testify in a rape trial on the side of the boy against a girl that I would consider to be my friend. Basically, they asked me to testify that she was an easy slut. Morally I have a problem with this, especially since the details of everything that happened are very fuzzy. But what I'm truly scared of is that if she wanted to ruin my testimony she could legally claim that I raped her too since she was drunk when we had sex. Is this legitimately a possible outcome that could happen to me? And any other advice would be glorious. Thanks ahead of time to anyone who take the time out of their day for a bit of input
TL;DR: | I've been asked to tell the court a girl is a slut, but we boned when she was drunk and I'm wondering if it could bite me in the ass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl sleeping in bed with my bf [20M]. Am I [18F] supposed to be okay with this?
POST: A little back story (with fake names) : Jess and Mike met around September, and they live on the same floor in the same building. We're all freshmen in college. They became best friends, had a slight incident where they slept together twice. Jess had feelings for Mike but Mike turned her down. They became platonic and stayed best friends. They're moving into the same room together next year.
I meet Mike in October, we start dating, and by January we're "official". He knows now I'm slightly uncomfortable with the intimacy he shares with Jess, but it's whatever. Mike's friends all know that I'm his girlfriend, it's no secret. Mike has many female friends who he's hooked up with who he still hangs out with, him and this girl went to a bar the other day together and spent 80$ on drinks. That same night him and Jess shared his bed and fell asleep together.
No sex, no physical stuff...
If it's all "platonic", is this okay...morally? What is your opinion?
TL;DR: | BF shared his bed with female friend. Has many female friends he hangs out with, he's hooked up with them in the past before we started dating. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I have a gay, schizophrenic stalker. Wtf do I do?
POST: Three and a half years ago, I worked in a dual diagnosis (mental health disorder and chemical dependency) treatment facility. Well, yesterday, I get a really weird email from a guy who used to be a patient there. It was pretty incoherent, but seemed to be saying he wanted to get closure in regards to me touching him. I was like "....wat?"
I then got another email from him a few hours later. Attached was a 2 page, single spaced letter he had written about how he was gay, and thinks about me all the time, called my parents to try and find where I was (I remember my parents telling me a few years ago that some mental health patient called, trying to find out how to contact me). I am guessing he got my email address from google searching my name, finding my youtube page, and seeing a few videos that have my email address on them.
He goes on about how no one ever touched him like I did (???), and how he wishes he would have accepted my advances. I have no idea what I could have done to give him such an impression, since I have a pretty strict "no touching!" rule with patients, and work very hard to maintain a professional relationship, so they know I am not their friend.
Anyway, I am not sure what to do. Do I call HR, even though I don't work with that company anymore? Do I just ignore it? I am thinking he either made this whole thing up in his head (he is schizo), or maybe it happened with someone else (maybe even another patient), and is somehow attributing it to me. I really am kinda freaked out about it.
TL;DR: | A past mental health client of mine thinks we had some sort of pseudo-relationship when he was in treatment, and is now sending me weird emails. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (I am 25m) on/off gf (25f) (of 8-9 months) and I made plans to hangout last night but she did not show up and is now ignoring me.
POST: I have been dating a girl on/off for months. Last night We were supposed to meet up. I texted her around 7 Pm last night confirming where to meet and she stopped responding, and never came home. Its now 1030 AM and she has not responded to any of my calls or texts.
Through Facebook stalking i know she has been online multiple times since then. I don't know what to do. If her phone had broken or something bad had happened I assume she would've messaged me on Facebook or some other way.
Because she was already drunk and out at the time we were supposed to meet up, my inclination is that she went home with another guy and is now ignoring me because she doesn't want to talk about it. Am I crazy? Why else would she ignore me? I really have not done anything worth that kind of treatment, and I would know if I had.
TL;DR: | My gf stopped responding to me last night when we were supposed to meet, and still hasn't gotten in contact with me, though has been on FB etc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my girl I started dating [24 F] decided not to have sex for first 3 months of dating. I found out she's sleeping with someone on the side.
POST: So the title pretty much explains it all. We met at a mutual friends "summer kick off BBQ" at the beginning of May. We hit it off immediately and hung out right away. It only took a couple weeks for us to decide we liked each other, and wanted to consider a relationship.
After a couple of dates we get back to my place, start getting into it and she stops, decides she wants to take things slow with me and do it the right way. I agree as I really like her and think it would be well worth it.
Fast forward to now over a month of dating and with 2 months to go I talk to our mutual friend again about how we are dating. He tells me "dude her and so-and-so are sleeping together". I ask for how long has this been going on and he says about 3 months and he confirms it is still happening.
Without trying to jump to conclusions the next time we went on a date was when we were out to dinner, everything was great and when I dropped her off I confronted her about it, asked if it was true and she doesn't deny it. I asked her why she is continuing this when her and I are trying to start a relationship and her reasons are since we are technically not in a relationship yet nor are we having sex that she isn't doing anything wrong. I was so flustered and upset I didn't even kiss her goodbye and left. This was 2 days ago and she has texted me a couple times, with the exception of a couple short responses I haven't been talking to her.
I don't know what to do, I know she "technically" isn't doing anything wrong but this just doesn't feel right. I can't help that I am now turned off to her, even if technically I shouldn't be or whatever. I don't know if I want to continue this with her, what do you all think?
TL;DR: | title says it all, she also doesn't think she's doing anything wrong and now I'm turned off to her. Don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Not sure how to react
POST: Dont hate on me please :(
My ex (19) and I (20) broke up in December. She dumped me and I was distraught. A month later we got back together but then we broke up again. I had a much easier time moving on this time due to the fact that I realized she is the one who has problems not me and that I will be fine without her.
So I am single for this month and a half and I make out with this girl who is way out of my league and I'm shocked this is actually happening. The next day we decide that it is a one time thing. Well then next time we are together she is texting me about she doesnt want it to be a one time thing she just doesnt want to let her best friend (who she is in love with) know. I accept it and this continues.
To make a long story short he finds out and is pissed at me but more so at her for her lying to him. So now she is gone and the little arrangement we had together is over. The next day my ex texts me saying she wants to meet with me. I say sure why not and she confesses she still has feelings for me. I am unsure how I feel about this and i dont know how to react.
So basically my issue is that I loved the arrangement I had with the girl I had while I was single and I was having alot of fun. Now I dont know if I wanna be back with my ex or not. If I dont get back with her I'm still single but the arrangement I liked so much is over. If i do get back with her I'm setting myself up to get hurt. I feel lost :/
TL;DR: | I cant decide whether or not I wanna try again with my ex or not because I had a great thing going without her but now that it is over I dont know what I want. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Help with legal advice for drug posession
POST: Hello all, I have recently been charged with two drug possession charges, one of a controlled substance, vyvanse ( State jail felony ) and another of marijuana ( less than .1 of a g, a few leaves). I have no prior criminal record, and a first time offender of any sort. I am also a 21 year old student at one of the best universities in Texas. Now, I understandably need a lawyer, but my family does not have much money. I have also contacted lawyers who have given me advice and to not worry, but charge fees around 5000-10000, all telling me that i'll be okay. My goal is to have it removed from my record and as i understand from Government Code §76.011 pre-trial intervention is possible, so i don't understand why I need to pay so much.
So my question is, what is a decent price for a lawyer in my case (hourly or flat) so I do not overpay for a lawyer. Also, any personal experiences with posession as a whole would be beneficial as well. Thanks!
TL;DR: | I am a 21 year old university student that got caught with vyvanse and <.1g of marijuana in a baggie, how much SHOULD a lawyer cost? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Date Idea
POST: My SO and I are long distance so this probably would not happen for a while, but......
She posts a large amount of pictures online of furnished rooms. They look really cool. She has been to the Ikea in her state years ago, and it was a whole day trip, since it took hours to get there. I know its kinda weird, but I want to take her to one, and spend at least part of the day just hanging out there, maybe have lunch, look at the crazy stuff, and people watch. I am still extremely new to dating, even though I'm 22, so I got no idea what sorta things are cute vs. weird.
TL;DR: | Would it be a stupid idea to tell her that I want to take her on a date to spend time at IKEA? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [23F] in love with my friend/coworker [25F], but she has a boyfriend... How do I stay friends but stop liking her?
POST: I've posted about this before but under a different throwaway.
I changed the ages, I am actually 26 and she is 23.
I'm bisexual. I've been single for about 3 years, but casually dated guys for the past couple of months. I'm not seeing anyone now, but I'm in love with my coworker. She's got a boyfriend but there is a connection between us and she is so goddamned beautiful, inside and out. I probably sound obsessed, but when I look at her, I feel like she can see into my soul (pardon the cliché crap, but it's true). I love being her friend, but it is hurting me getting closer to her while she is in a very serious relationship. I realize it's sad and horrible and far-fetched, but I keep thinking about the day she breaks up with him and we would get together. The thing is I am attracted to girls, but I don't really want a girlfriend. I can't see myself being long-term with a woman, but her? It's possible. I love everything about her.
I want her friendship, but I want to stop loving her. It isn't easy because I see her every single day and frequently catch her eyes across the room or try not to be a bumbling idiot when I talk to her. I think she knows I've got a crush on her. We haven't known each other for more than half a year, but she treats me like a close friend and my intuition is pretty strong, I feel like she flirts with me.
I'm sorry if this is stupid, but I care about her. I'm attracted to both sexes, and have been in love with men, but she is the first woman I have ever loved. I would do anything for her and I know it's not healthy to keep pining after her. I currently have other prospects (guys) , but she is the only woman and the only one I want. It's pathetic.
Help, reddit. I see her every day. How do I stop loving her?
TL;DR: | In love with coworker. It's probably not going to happen. How do I maintain a healthy friendship while letting my feelings fade? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I recoil from almost all female contact.
POST: Background:
I am a 16 year old male with no sisters or female friends. I also attempt to treat people how they treat me.
A few years ago, I was watching TV with my mum, and I go to reach for the remote. Somehow, I accidentally touched her breast, and she was horrified that I would do something like that. I was horrified that she though I would try to grope her. This upset me quite a bit, as it was definitely a mistake. My mother is the only consistent contact I have with a female.
You know how people stereotype groups they don't have much experience with, right? Well since I have very little experience with females, I got it into my head that they all think things like "Oh no, all men are out to rape me," sort of how my mum reacted. This combined with the 'treat others how they treat you' mentality I have, I now physically recoil from girls, trying to keep at least 1 metre away. (I now have one female friend, or friend of a friend, idk. I don't know why she hangs out with us.) Also, whenever a girl is nearby, I just shut the hell up, like she'll judge me just for speaking my mind and being male.
Additionally, my father has often made somewhat misogynistic comments, like "They're feminising our education system, and demasculinising our men!" This may contribute too.
Anyway, I would love some advice on how to get over this; many people seem to think I'm gay (I'm not), and I would like to get a girlfriend at some point in my life, so the earlier I fix this the better.
TL;DR: | I accidentally touched my mum's breast a few years ago, now I recoil mentally and physically from female contact. My hugs are like the Voldemort one in the 8th Harry Potter Movie. Advice, please? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: The Pareto Principle between men and women
POST: I was wondering about how the Pareto's principle would apply to guys in terms of their attractiveness to women. In case you haven't heard of this principle it states , in a nutshell, that 80% of the results are influenced by just 20% of the factors involved. It was initially an economic theory but it can be applied to nearly any paradigm: fitness , quality control etc. So 80% of women's attractiveness can be gamed by working on their physical attractiveness alone (personality, hobbies,making me a sandwich wont get you as far). How does this apply to guys?
You might get the Idea that I'm a chauvinistic pig....I'm not. Personality goes a long way as far as I'm concerned but a girl who's good looking makes it difficult for me or any other guy to judge her dispassionately. Women dont seem to have this issue however. You'll often see a women who is waay outta a guys league. You'll rarely see the opposite.
TL;DR: | Generally 80% of a woman's attractiveness to guys is her looks(the 20%). So how would this work for guys? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I received a call from Mcdonalds about a job opening, but it went to voice mail and now the person won't answer their phone.
POST: Yesterday afternoon, around 5 PM, I received a call from a lady that works at Mcdonalds. I had applied there two weeks ago and she was calling to set up an interview. However, I was away from the phone at the time and it was on vibrate, so the call went to voice mail. It was 11 PM when I noticed the call and I decided to call her first thing in the morning about the job (she specifically said to call her back, in her message). So I woke up the next morning around 8:30 and gave my body some time to wake the fuck up. I ended up returning her call at 9:30, but she didn't answer and I left a message. So I waited a little and called her again at 12, but still no answer. I have been by the phone all day and she hasn't returned my call. It is now almost 10 PM and still no call.
TL;DR: | A call about a potential job opening went to voice mail and I called back in the morning, but I received no answer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: It was just another shitty day.. Until I realized it was Christmas :/
POST: Well, my family doesn't really do Christmas. We are not close, at all. And, the immediately family is relatively poor. We exchange gifts on Christmas Eve, if we exchange them at all.
But, I'm a 23 year old stripper. Who is not close with her family, and rarely sees them. Even on the holidays.
Sooo like I have every year for the past several, I ended up going to work after my non-eventful holiday.
First, there was the guy who asked if I did blow (ftr, I've never touched a drug in my life).
Then, there's the guy who repeatedly asks if he can feel my tits.
My only ray of light in this scenario is, well.. At least he asked.
From there, I meet the "I'm going to kill you" creepy ass man..
And end the night with a lesbian pretending to date a man because he has a lot of money (reminds me of my whore ex-gf, actually) who BITES MY ASS. I think she fucking bruised it. WTF white people.
Oh yeah and of course me and now ex-boyfriend got into a huge fight and broke up. I left work to start removing my things from his house. Which sucks, because my current roommate wants me out of the house ASAP so his gf can move in and utilize my room as storage.
TL;DR: | Got insulted, molested, and had my heart broken on Christmas Day. Oh. And I'm next to homeless. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25/F] can't handle being in different life stages with long-distance bf [25/M]. 3 years of dating & losing hope for the future... help?
POST: When we first started dating in 2012, I was fresh out of college, and he was taking time off of school. We fell in love and agreed to date, even though we're a 2.5 hour drive away from each other. It worked well for a little while - we love all the same things, share the same political views, we're good at splitting the bill, call/text each other every day, and visit every other weekend. He made me happy with his carefree positive attitude and I helped motivate him to achieve more; it was a balance.
Now it's 3 years later, and I am quickly realizing that I'm ready for my "grown-up" life to begin... I save money, jump on career opportunities, plan for the future, and I'm trying to get my own apartment. Unfortunately, despite being the sweetest guy ever, he has not really changed since I met him: his poor money habits scare the crap out of me, he doesn't plan anything out, and after changing his major *again* he still has 1 more year of school. He IS doing much better in school now, but his GPA from before was pretty low, and he still hasn't gotten an internship or joined a student group in order to make up for that (he "tries" but has never followed through).
I've felt like a nagging mother lately, which is unhealthy, exhausting, and discouraging. I'm ready for an adult relationship, but he acts like a teenager when it comes to real-life scenarios. I love him so much, and his personality makes me happy... but it sucks having to carry ALL the adult burdens. On top of that, I wonder if giving up my weekends for him is causing me to neglect my own life (missing out on social things, not getting a dog like I wanted to, not joining groups/clubs, etc.).
Is love enough, and I'm just being selfish? Or is it really time for me to call quits on this? :( Thanks...
TL;DR: | Dating for 3 years, 2.5 hrs apart the whole time; he's still in school for another year, I've had a real job this whole time; is it worth the wait or should I abandon hope? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (m/21) think I am about to break it off with my first love (f/23)
POST: I (21/m) am on the verge off breaking it off with my first real love (23/f). We have been together for 5 years. And have recently moved in to a new place 3 months ago. I dont know if I can do it. I am asking all the typical questions, what if I regret? what if there is nobody else out there?
It has been a steady decline in our relationship for a while now. Absolutely no communication whatsoever. And I recognise the fact that I have grown into a different person in the last 5 years. Our interests have changed. We hardly go out socially together.
I just don't want to live with the regret of not finding someone I truely click with, because at the moment its not her. Can she grow into a different person like I have? Or am I kidding myself on banking on that?
I love her, she is a great girl, I just recognise that it has been a great time and it may be at its end now.
In the end, I just don't know... I am in a terribly confusing place.
TL;DR: | About to take the jump, I need some advice to break it off as lightly as possible and leave on good terms. I love her, but the relationship isn't working. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22], no matter what I do I just can't seem to be able to hold conversations with women. What to do?
POST: I've had problems maintaing conversations with people my entire life. After initial small talk i just can't seem to say anything and my mind goes blank.
Once I started Univeristy I made a conscious decision to improve myself in which I decided to :
- go and speak to as many people as I can anywhere and about anything
- Join as many clubs and activities as possible
- go see a psychiatrist
- read lots of self improvement and confidence books
- go out most nights during the week and socialising
Having did all these things for the last 3 years I have seen no improvement at all. It hurts so much when women approach me to only see them soon after having to awkwardly make an excuse to leave the conversation as it is not going anywhere and I'm boring her to tears. I even went to the doctors for a check up to see if I have any speech impairments or disabilities but they all tell me I'm perfectly healthy.
Please can someone in a similar situation help me? I just don't know what to do anymore. I've exhausted all avenues and I still can't get anywhere.
TL;DR: | I've been patient and tried almost everything to help myself learn at maintaining and holding conversations with people and more specifically women, but I still can't talk to them properly. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my Mum [60F], I can't get her to understand mental illness, and she continually does and says hurtful things.
POST: I got handed the short straw. I have Bipolar II, OCD, and Asperger's Syndrome. I see a psychiatrist regularly, take my meds, and still am significantly impacted on a regular basis. I have accepted this, and I do my best to do what I can when I can.
But the thing is, my mother manages to say *something* every time we talk. It ranges from telling me to "drink warm milk" to sleep when I'm up for a 36 hours at a time without feeling tired during mania, to turning things I divulged in confidence into "funny talking points" with people I barely know, in front of me.
It's gotten to a point where unless I'm having a really good day, I screen her calls, avoid replying to texts and emails, and this results in her sending a text or email telling me I'm various shades of inconsiderate and horrible and to stop hiding behind excuses.
The longest times I do this are during depressive periods, which is obviously the worst time to receive such messages.
I have attempted to explain this several times, but she seems unable to grasp that my symptoms aren't like normal people emotions and feelings. I don't cry because something bad happened, I cry because my body made the chemicals most people have when something bad happened. I can't just 'not do' things my compulsive disorder is making me feel like I have to do. I can't do normal things to fall asleep when the only thing that's telling me I've been awake for longer than normal is eye irritation. My problem isn't a lack of willpower, it's a legitimate illness.
I know she doesn't mean to have this effect on me, but it doesn't really change the fact that one of the people with the most emotional influence is invalidating my life experience.
Please help.
TL;DR: | My Mum is consistently insensitive about my mental illness, ranging from advice to jokes. I can't seem to make her understand it is a real thing. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I in love? Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] 3.5 months.
POST: I met my girlfriend online in late april and talked extensively online every day since and we have been officially dating about 1.5 months now. I go to school near her but live at home during the summer so we visit for both days of every weekend now for the last 2 months.
We both never dated much (me not at all), both were super picky. I always thought I would just know with the girl I really liked and I pretty much do with my current girlfriend and I am fairly intuitive and it is fairly obvious she feels the same way too.
I spend every spare moment talking to her and spend most of my day thinking about her. I liked her so much that at the beginning of the relationship I was secretly quite insecure about losing her so I got all those gooey infatuation feelings. I still get them when I see her on weekends and when we are affectionate together I just feel like I can't get enough of her (not sex btw). I can see her imperfections and even those seem to make her perfect for me.
Although, maybe I'm a little OCD about it but I feel like I am quite secure with our relationship now and when I am away I don't get those infatuation feelings as much. I am also on anti-depressants which I know affect me like an emotional anesthetic. Commitment freaks me out enough to usually make me not even want to date someone but I can say confidently that with this girl, I would not be upset to spend the rest of my life with her in the least. I just worry that my lack of infatuation/missing her when she is away means that I don't love her.
Is love a choice? How do you know if you are in love?
TL;DR: | I love her in every way but am not constantly infatuated and/or missing her. How do you know if you are in love? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Employer extended me an offer and then reduced it via email by $14,000 after a week with no explanation or deadline extension.
POST: I received an offer with an annual salary of X and a monthly base rate of Y. I noticed that 12*Y did not equal X, but instead a number $14,000 less than X. I asked HR about this and suggested they miscalculated the monthly rate, only to receive a very short email saying they made a mistake and the offer is supposed to be X-$14,000 with a new offer letter attached. Not to mention this email was sent this past Wednesday (day before Thanksgiving) when the offer deadline is today. The deadline was not extended and emails to HR were not responded to after the first one, calls to HR went straight to voicemail because they were all off for the holiday.
Do I have any options? I could have declined offers because of this one (unfortunately I didn't), or made all sorts of other decisions in the 7 days that it took for HR to correct their mistake.
Just wondering if I have any course of action (aside from lawyering up). Are there any governmental agencies I can contact or anything like that?
TL;DR: | Employer fucked me by offering $14,000 more than they meant to. Informed me of mistake a week after offer was extended. Do I have any options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is there a graceful way to ask someone to shower? Me (21F) with my roommate (21F)
POST: I'm a college student and I just had a room change. My new roommate is really awesome and kind, but we're not that close, just small chat type of conversations and I like that. But she smells really, really bad. Like so bad I gag when I walk into the room. She's a really heavy sleeper so before bed I spray my side with febreeze to kill the smell so I can sleep but it's horrible. It's so bad that outside the room you can smell it. I have never seen her shower and I'm in the room a fair bit, but her towel smells the worst so she must use it.
A big issue is she is very overweight and I wonder if maybe that's a cause to not partake in hygiene and I don't want to make a bad situation worse if it's an abuse thing either from her childhood.
But I really can't do the smell anymore and I can't move a second time in a semester. My RA wasn't helpful either, she told me to tell her "you know the showers work right?" I feel like that's super rude.
What's the least offensive way to go about this?
TL;DR: | My roommate smells, know I'm going to hurt her feelings, least offensive way to get her to not smell anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My girlfriend is nice to others. Too nice. Up the the point where I'm getting sad over it. Or am I being selfish?
POST: Let me preface this by saying that I really love her and she loves me.
Also, I was a bit of jealous boyfriend with my ex (because of how flirty she was) but with my current girlfriend I trust her a lot. She goes out with guys and I don't care.
The thing that hurts me, however, is that sometimes she puts others' happiness before mine.
Example: When we're hanging out with friends and I go in for a little kiss, she'll deflect it because one of our mutual friends might see. She feels bad for this friend of ours because he might have liked her before we started dating, has terrible luck getting girls (always getting friend-zoned), etc. So she doesn't want him to feel bad when we kiss.
Another example: Tonight we both scheduled to get on Skype to chat with each other. For 3 hours we barely talked because she was helping her old high school teacher (don't ask) with some relationship problems on Facebook. I mean, that's a great thing to do, but I pretty much wasted 3 hours when she could have given me some time as well. Thankfully Reddit distracted me so it wasn't that bad :D
Now...I really think what she's doing is great but I can't help to feel sad about it. We had a talk about the kissing-deflection thing and she told me that she's going to try being better at it but that she'll still feel bad for that friend. Even though he has known that we've been going out for 7 months and this is a thing that boyfriends and girlfriends do. I seriously just want to say "Fuck what he thinks, you're going to be a girlfriend to me." but I feel like that might be too harsh.
What do you think, Reddit? Should I just get over this and stop being selfish (if I am)? Or should I bring new points to the table for discussion? Her and I are good at talking but some fresh insights from you guys would be helpful. Thank you!
TL;DR: | GF won't kiss me in front of a certain person so he doesn't get sad, this is making me sad, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend says he doesn't feel close to me anymore. Stumbling for direction.
POST: Hello, everyone.
My boyfriend and I have been dating since sometime early this year. I'll keep things kind of vague because there is a chance he could stumble across this post. We're both in our early 20s. Things have been seemingly perfect until now. Other than a few weird nights, we haven't had many disagreements and I've been the happiest I've ever been. Recently he started acting strange and I picked up on it quickly and confronted him about it. He says he doesn't feel as close to me as he used to. He begins grad school this fall and I think he may be withdrawing because of the uncertainty. And it sucks because he means the world to me. However, I don't want to be selfish and make him stay in a relationship he's unhappy in. I'd trade my own happiness to ensure that he is happy. I feel like a puppy dog. I don't think my feelings for him will change one bit no matter the outcome. Anyway, I feel like shit because I don't want this relationship to end. If there are any questions pertinent to offering advice, fire away.
TL;DR: | I've been in a seemingly perfect relationship for a few months. Boyfriend says he doesn't feel as close to me as he used to. I'm worried things may end. Looking for some advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Was about to break up with my bf, but he just told me his dog died... What should I do?
POST: I'm 22M and hes 24M. We've been together for over a year. Tomorrow (Friday) is my birthday and I wanted to break up with him before my birthday and I ended up waiting til the last minute to do so... and then he tells me that his dog died. I don't wanna feel like a douche and break up with him when he's obviously grieving over his dog.
But, I don't want to keep our relationship going like this if I'm not happy. I finally worked up the courage til this happened. So should I put off breaking up with him til he feels better or should I just get it over with? I'm leaving for a bit so I'll check back in a few hours.
TL;DR: | Worked up the courage to break up with my bf but his dog died. Don't know whether to wait a while or just tell him I want to break up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22/f) boyfriend (23/m) smokes weed pretty regularly, sometimes "stoned him" confuses/bothers me
POST: So my boy and I have been together for about three months officially, but we were seeing each other fairly exclusively for about two months before that and we've been friends for right around a year. I know him well and pretty much adore the guy.
He doesn't smoke every day, usually it is more like once or twice a week, but when he does he gets exceptionally stoned. I smoke with him occasionally, probably close to once or twice a month. I don't have a problem with marijuana at all, but I've never been the chill out and smoke a bowl type, I'm too energetic and type A for that to really sound appealing very often. Anyhow, normally he is a pretty affectionate guy, but when he is stoned he isn't very touchy and doesn't respond to my touch as much. In the beginning of our relationship it really worried me, because I didn't realize the correlation and thought that my new awesome boyfriend was losing interest in me. Also, he gets pretty unresponsive in conversation. The other night we had been talking about a problem I had over text, he invited me over to talk about it with him/comfort me later that night. When I showed up he had been smoking, and that made it much harder to get feedback from him like I wanted.
I don't want him to stop, he enjoys it and it is a fairly important thing to him and his friends. Mostly I would just like some kind of heads up if he has been smoking, and maybe to let him know that there are times I'd rather he not smoke (like if he knows I am coming over to talk about a problem with him)
TL;DR: | Stoned boyfriend is less affectionate and harder to have a conversation with. It irritates and confuses me sometimes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [M24]and my girlfriend [F21] decided to get high for the first time. While we were high she tried to start a threesome with a mutual friend of ours [M24]. How can I tell her I was not comfortable with this without offending her
POST: We have been talking about arranging threesomes before but we made an agreement we'd also find a female participant for a MFF threesome before we go ahead with a MMF threesome.
We got high last night and she kept making obvious attempts at starting a threesome,I was not comfortable with this at all but was too high to tell her otherwise at the time ( other than a few "no, don't do that babe" like sentences.
I was extremely uncomfortable with it but no matter how many times I'd tell her shed still try to start one. She took off her pants at one point and was just in her panties before I told her to put them back on. Out mutual friend was also obviously uncomfortable.
I tried to bring it up earlier but she just got offended and saidt said "You didn't really think I would have gone for it, do you?"
The answer to that question being yes. Yes you would have gone for it.
I want to bring this up to her again but not offend her at the same time
TL;DR: | girlfriend tried to initiate MMF threesome and I was uncomfortable with it but she ignored me. How can I bring this up to her without offending her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: I'm registered for a half next week but haven't trained. Looking for some advice.
POST: I registered for the half earlier this year for two reasons:
* To motivate myself to start running again.
* Moral support for my sister who wants to do a half this year for various personal reasons.
Current situation:
* I last ran about a month and a half ago. It was six miles at an 11 minute pace and went well.
* My sister has been running regularly but hasn't gone over four miles.
Neither of us are known for keeping goals; we are, on the other hand, known for procrastination.
The pessimistic side of my brain says:
* I'm nowhere near in shape enough to run this.
* Sure I pulled off similar distances in the military with a pack on my back, but that was nearly 10 years and 40lbs ago.
* Due to lack of training, neither of us know how our bodies will react at later stages of the run.
The optimistic side of my brain says:
* Just pull off a run/walk, I'll make it. It'll hurt but I can do it.
* The excitement and adrenaline of race day and the crowd will help carry me. (sure the training plan said it would help with the end, I'll just count on it for a little more)
* This is important to my sister and I told her I'd support her. I owe it to her to at least try.
There's a few reasons that I stopped running a month and a half ago, but I'll just sum them up as lack of motivation. I'm looking for some advice from experienced half and full marathoners on:
* If I should or shouldn't attempt the half.
* If I do, what are some consequences I can expect from my lack of training.
* What happens to runners who can't complete the course, or haven't by the time it closes.
TL;DR: | I'm registered for a half next week and my last run was 6 miles 1.5 months ago. Looking for advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M with my crush [ F] , since a couple of weeks, I'm interested , but she seems depressed.
POST: First of all, I'm french, so sorry if my english is kinda bad. Also, I have no clue what's her age, so don't ask.
So there's this girl in my class who I'm interested into, and I've been talking to her a litte because we sit at the same table.Actually, I'm probably team up with her for a project, because her teamates dropped school, and she's alone.
Anyways, the problem is that she seems depressed , and I almost want to say "weird". Indeed, on a small talk we had, she told me she barely sleeps and she's always tired( I can see that). Also, I never see her on pauses between classes. She doesn't have any friends in classes ( I have two classes with her) , and she doesn't have facebook ( or I didn't find it). But mostly, the main factor was she started to cried when the professor told her she seems tired . Why? I have no clue. Maybe her mother died this summer, or her dad rapped her, I don't know.
So she seems anxious since the beggining of the school, and this has been going for weeks.
I feel sceptic about it, when I talk to her she seems normal and cool, but at the outside, she seems kinda depressed and anxious, and I don't know how to feel about it.
Again, sorry for my shitty english!
TL;DR: | I'm interested into a girl at school, but she seems depressed, and I don't know how to feel about this. Should I try to date her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone have any ideas on how I can watch Super 15 rugby in the US?
POST: Ok, so heres the deal. There used to be this site called rugbyzone.com that had the rights to Super 14, Trinations, Currie Cup, Air New Zealand Cup, and a few other tournaments. You bought a membership to watch a tournament, and they had live streaming and archives of all the games. All was well in the rugby universe. However, this year rugbyzone for whatever reason didn't get the rights to broadcast Super 15 and has shut down.
Setanta is another service very similar to rugbyzone, but Fox Soccer Plus bought out Setanta's US site, and now Fox Soccer doesn't have the rights to Super 15 either. It appears that sanzar (rugby committee) have sold the rights to Direct TV for US broadcasting of Super 15 rugby, which is strange as hell because usually rights go to a broadcaster, not a provider. I do not have Direct TV, and have no way of getting it so it seems like all my options have dried up.
My thoughts:
- I can hope that torrents will be put up of the games. I'm not too confident in this though. There are torrents for last years Super 14 games, but I'm not sure how quickly they got added, and how many seeders there will be.
-Proxies. Setanta Asia has Super 15. Ive messed around with it a little bit, but if I use a Hong Kong proxy, setanta thinks I'm in Asia. My biggest issue with this is that since the videos are streamed, I think the video will stop every 3 seconds to buffer, and basically be unwatchable.
-P2P and other sites that will live stream the games. This would be an awesome solution, but unfortunately I need an archive. The games are played at around 2-6 AM EST, and I do need sleep.
So basically, I turn to you reddit. I'm willing to pay to watch the games, but there simply is no option I'm aware of. Does anyone have any internet magic, or any advice?
Thanks.
TL;DR: | nobody (of use) has the rights to broadcast super 15 rugby in the US, help me find a way to watch the games. Please!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [27 F] convince my [30 M] bf I will not bankrupt and ruin his life if we one day marry then divorce?
POST: My bf and I have been together for nearly 5 years now and lived together for majority of that time. I relocated 8 states away from our home state with him about 1 1/2 years ago and we recently bought a home. We have good solid jobs and financial stability. The idea of marriage has been circulating as we are kind of at that point in our relationship but he is so worried that one day if we divorce, I will take all of his money, the house, kids (if we have any) and completely destroy his life. I have never given him any reason to think thats in my personality but due to past relationships/experiences he believes majority of woman are naturally spiteful beings. He is also a frequenter of /r/MensRights so he regularly reads the horror stories of men losing it all to a spiteful ex wife. We are not even engaged yet and I am finding myself having to convince him I would never do this.
When asked if he truly trusts me, he said he trusts me "as much as he could ever trust a woman". I am not sure what that exactly means or how I should take it...
I am at the point where I am not sure if I even want to get married anymore...
TL;DR: | Bf convinced I will take all of his money and ruin his life if we marry then divorce one day; not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] and my FWB [22 M] of one month still isnt over his ex, but things are so perfect I want to make this something more...How?
POST: I [21 f] have been seeing/dating a [22 m] for about a month, we have known each other a bit longer but got together. He told me a little bit of his heart still belongs to his ex.
Things between us are just so perfect. We get along so well. I want something more. and feel like I should move on. But I just can't shake the feeling that things would go so well with him.
I am not really threatened by his ex. They are still friends and are in a band together. But I can talk to her and not feel like shes threatened by me. I dont have any jealousy toward her.
He also told me he was confused about his feelings because what he feels now is similar to the beginning of his last relationship of four years, and that he doesnt know if he can trust his feelings. though we continue to see each other.
Do I move on? or persue this further?
TL;DR: | I want more with my FWB but he isnt quite over his ex. How do I help him get over her or should I move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Rude stranger now parking in my boyfriend's driveway, rental company is siding with her. Anything we can do?
POST: My boyfriend lives with three other people close to campus, and has the rare luxury of a spacious, four-car driveway (three roommates have cars, plus visitors). Last week, he came home to find a car that didn't belong to any of his roommates or their friends parked there, so he had it towed. Apparently, the girl who owns the car pitched a fit, called the rental company, and got them to pay for the towing. We found this out after one of the roommates called to ask about the situation, and apparently in the girl's lease, it states that tenants of her house can technically park in the driveway of any house owned by the company (even though she lives several blocks away and has street parking), regardless of whether it says anything about that in their lease. This girl has also left angry notes on my car, saying "it's not cool to park like a dick" when I had taken up a couple spots so that I could get out easier (all of the resident's cars were already parked, and I wasn't blocking anyone in). I suppose it's worth mentioning that none of us have actually seen this girl, as she never even knocked on the door to ask if she could park in their driveway and her car just seems to appear and disappear at will. One of the roommates is going to the student legal center to see what they can do, but I'm wondering if they're just screwed because the rental company took her side. So do we just have to suck it up and deal with her parking there for the rest of the year, or is there anything that can be done?
TL;DR: | Random girl parks in boyfriend's driveway, gets towed. Rental company takes her side, she continues to park there and leave rude notes on my car. Already going the legal route, what else can we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I want to go to college but don't know where to start.
POST: Ok guys, let me lay down some background here. I am a 20, nearly 21 year old male who currently works as a truck unloader at walmart. This job means I work Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday from 4p-1a. I have an unreliable vehicle right now and when I left High school my gpa was less then 3.0. I know at the beginning of my senior year it was a 2.0 I'm not sure what it is right now to be honest.
I'd like to go to college to pursue a career in programming. When I am working on a project I get a lot of joy out of it. I also feel like I'm ready to move out of my mother's house and get some independence. My problems lie in the fact that I don't work a typical job so I don't see how I could schedule school around my work. I also have the problem of financing school. My credit isn't that fantastic and neither is my mother's, there is no dad in the picture. I know their may be some grants but I'm not sure what is available or if it will be enough. I'm worried because at any point I could end up with a large vehicle repair or I could lose my current job and be stuck with college debt and have to drop out of college.
TL;DR: | Poor credit, unreliable vehicle, and odd work schedule. How can I still get a good education to get myself out of this rut? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by destroying my main window AC while living in Texas
POST: We have 2 window AC units in the house, and both had not been cooling that great lately. So I cleaned the filters out of both units and the smaller of the two immediately begins to work better. The larger of the units did work a bit better, but still wasn't cooling that great. I noticed that there was a pool of water inside the unit that wasn't draining properly. Having already maxed out the tilt I could do to the window unit long ago, I decided to drill a hole in the bottom of the unit to drain the water.
I drilled one hole in the center where nothing was and the water poured out. So far so good. Then I decide to make the actual drain hole bigger. I drilled too far and put a hole through the chassis and into the AC condensor spewing R-22 (or it's equiv) into the air, destroying the unit instantly, and about 60% of the house's cooling ability.
TL;DR: | TIFU by deciding to fix my AC units and I destroyed one with a drill. I should have gone drinking instead. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by buying $270 worth of contacts that I can't even wear
POST: I went to get my eyes checked out about a week ago at Cohen's Fashion Optical and it turns out I have slight astigmatism, -0.75 cycle. They didn't have any glasses I liked so I decided to give contacts a shot. They tell me that I could buy various amounts of one-a-day contacts, starting from a three-month supply to a one-year supply. In order to have a trial of 4 days with them, I need to buy a package. So I choose the 3-month, which is $270, thinking that I could get a refund.
I use them for two days, and they're horrible. I have to constantly blink my eyes, otherwise my vision will get blurry. I don't even see a difference in the quality of my eyesight. Now it turns out that I can't even get a refund for them, and can only recieve store credit. They have a policy on the wall which I didn't see that says this. Now I don't know what to do. I really fucked up here, they basically just robbed me. Is there *any* way I could get my money back, or have something work out for me?
TL;DR: | Bought $270 worth of contact lenses at Cohen's that I can't wear and won't give me a refund, only store credit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18F) found out my best friend (19F) has been bashing me online and to mutual friends.
POST: So my best friend and I had some issues in the past few months, we have been friends for about 2 years now, but a few months ago, we both liked the same guy, we both fooled around with him. We both were upset, but we got over it, and apoligized to each other and said it wasnt an issue. But recently I found out she has this secret twitter with all these friends she has online, where 75 percent of her posts are her talking serious shit about me. Saying she wished I would leave my job, where she works also. Saying how sick of my shit she is, and how shes about to just be done with me.
But she hasnt mentioned any of this to me ever. She says she doesnt care about the guy anymore, but I know she still has feelings for him. I cut him out of my life completely and got a boyfriend. But I think thats still part of the issue. Its really hurtful that shes saying all these horrible things about me, when she did the same thing to me. And then she doesnt even have the nerve to say any of it to me. I try really hard to be a good friend to her, but at the same time, I dont want to deal with her talking bad about me to everyone.
In the last couple weeks its escalated to talking to mutual friends about how horrible I am. Personally, I dont think I do anything particularly mean or horrible to her. I drive her around everywhere and dont ask for gas money, I try to help her with her relationships with other guys, and I even got her a job. So why is she doing this? Should I even try to repair the friendship?
I dont really have any other friends that I hang out with except my boyfriend, so im hesitant to drop her without a good reason. But im really hurt and bothered by this. I feel like I shouldve known though. She can be really cold to me sometimes, and often if I try to talk about my own problems to her, she'll tell me "I dont care". I just dont really know what to do.
TL;DR: | My best friend talks about me on a private twitter and to our mutual friends making me seem like im horrible. And it feels like im the only one putting any effort into our friendship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: A Concert Ticket Dilemma
POST: I promised my friend a ticket to a concert that we've been meaning to see for two years now, and we were both very excited. The tickets are complementary due to a program I'm part of, and I usually get four, but this time I got two tickets only. However, my little sister also wants to go to the concert. I don't know who to priortize. My little sister (who's a year younger than me and we're very close) or my best friend (who's a year older than me and we're close like siblings)?
One thing was odd though and [that's what my best friend said after I told her the news] I thought it was rude, but is it justified for her to feel this way? Should I give the ticket up and give it to my best friend or is she trying to guilt trip me? I'm so confused, is she even a good friend?
TL;DR: | Do I give the concert ticket to my best friend or my sister? Is my best friend ungrateful and justified for being annoyed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23M) Recently broke up with my now ex girlfriend (21F) of 2 years and she didn't expect it at all. Starting to have doubts, have I done the right thing?
POST: Basically, she is a lovely girl. Kind, good looking and understanding, even when I was in the process of breaking up with her. However, she is new to things in the bedroom and struggles to communicate her likes/dislikes despite me pushing in the nicest possible way for her to reveal them. Secondly, she is a student with lots of free time where as i have just taken on a career that takes up all my time apart from weekends. These were my main reasons for calling it off, as well as me being young and worried i haven't played the field enough, so to speak.
However since calling it off, I have been having doubts about my decision. she is an outstanding girl and one I would have loved to have met just a few years later on. Have any of you ever been in a similar situation? What decisions did you make? any advice in general is welcome.
TL;DR: | Was it worth me finishing it with an absolutely lovely girl for the sake of a few more years messing around and a little less time on my own? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 F] have been with my boyfriend [27 M] for 2.5 years. I checked his email today and now I feel sick.
POST: The other day, my boyfriend suggested going out to a fancy dinner on the day we have off together (we work drastically different hours and rarely have the same days off). There's no holiday, no anniversary, birthday, promotion, etc. He said "it's just cause." I got super excited. He doesn't usually do "just cause" things. In my mind, I was wondering if he was going to ask me to marry him. Well, I got a little too excited. I went and checked his email to see if there was any hint of a ring purchase.
Big mistake.
First off, it's extremely unethical to check his email and now I need to figure out how to come clean to him about it. Secondly, I noticed emails regarding Facebook messages from his ex. I know he speaks to her, but I was curious. So I peeked. Then I logged on to his Facebook. And read them. And started crying. They talked a LOT about sexual stuff. About her sex life. And about her dream that had him in it. And she showed him a picture of her breasts with a hickey on them. And told him that she wishes he didn't have a gf. And he was going along with it. Asking her to tell him about her sex life. Flirting with her. Telling her he was sad that she ignored him to go be with a guy she didn't even like.
I feel sick. And, sadly, I feel more sick about what I read than how I breached his trust. I don't know how I should feel about what I read. Is it normal for people to flirt like that? I mean, I know he keeps in touch with some of his exes, and that in and of itself doesn't bother me. I don't think he'd ever cheat on me physically. I don't even know if I should be upset or not. I certainly feel upset...
TL;DR: | I dun goofed by looking at BF's email and FB. How do I come clean about my snooping *and* how should I feel about his conversations with his ex? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (19/f) my SO (18/M) wants to break up over something I never knew I was doing
POST: We've been going out for almost a year and a half and have been long distance since July. He told me he wants to break up because while we are apart I get into bad moods and take it out on him by being distant and maybe a little mean (when I asked how I was mean he didn't have examples). I know that was terrible of me and I have no excuse, but I had no idea I was even hurting him, I just thought I was acting distant. He never once tried to tell him that what I said hurt him, if I had known I would have made a major adjustment and apologized profusely.
We've had communication problems in the past, mainly on his side. I've made an effort to be open and discuss my problems, but he never wants to discuss his because he's afraid we'll fight. I thought that was normal, and I wouldn't even call it fighting, we'd just argue.
Because he was mad at me for acting this way he did nothing for valentines day which I thought was pretty immature, and then broke up with me the next day.
I asked him to give me a chance to make it up to him and change, which I thought would be sufficient since he said that this is the only reason he doesn't want to be with me, but he isn't sure if he wants to stay with me because now he's not in love with me.
We talked the day after he broke it off and he decided he wants to see if it's the distance that is making him feel this way. I am seeing him this weekend to talk and right now we are on a break but I am confused by this whole situation and need some advice on what to do? Try to get him back? Give up on us?
I'm sorry for my terrible grammar and story format.
TL;DR: | BF wants to break up over something I never knew I was doing; and isn't in love with me now because of it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] 1 year, my boyfriend got hit on by a girl and he didn't mention to her that he had a girlfriend
POST: My boyfriend got hit on by a girl. She asked him what his plans were this weekend and instead of telling her that he was hanging out with me (his girlfriend) he simply replied with downtown.
She then invited him to go out with her and her friends and he just said he couldn't go.
Why didn't he just tell her "I have plans with my GIRLFRIEND this weekend, and we're doing 'such-and-such'" ?
I feel like by him not telling her that he has a girlfriend, it's almost inviting her to continue to flirt and hit on him. Maybe I'm just being insecure, but I think he would be bothered if the roles were turned around.
Is there a reason why he did that? He told me I should be thankful that he tells me, because he feels that I'm mature enough to handle these kinds of situations. Also, he said that if he feels like someone crosses the line by asking for his number then THAT would be the time he tells them he has a girlfriend.
TL;DR: | my boyfriend got hit on by a girl, but he didn't tell her he had a girlfriend. Should I be worried? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [29M] was rejected by really close friend [30F]; many mutual friends; act 'normal' or take time/space?
POST: The story is long and told infinite times before, but I feel like I'm reading and receiving mixed advice.
I (29M) met her (30F) about 3 years ago at work. We had a core group of about 8 of us at work who were/are extremely close. I was transfered to a different state about a year ago and I still fly home about 2-3 times per month to see family and friends. I've almost always had romantic feelings for her, but she only broke up with her long-term boyfriend just as I was leaving and they broke up due to distance issues, so I feel like I never had a reasonable opportunity to tell her how I feel while we were in the same city.
In the last year we became closer, both she and I were single and I think we were both sending mixed signals like we were interested but not sure if we could handle the distance/being such good friends.
I recently asked her if she wanted to take what we had to the next step and she said she had just started seeing someone, and that she wasn't sure if she was still interested (which I take to mean that she really isn't interested anymore). I definitely missed some opportunities in the last year and I'm pretty sure I know what they were (wow hindsight really is 20/20 ..).
I feel like I put myself out there and got tossed off the proverbial cliff .. but I'm not here for comfort. What I'm here to ask is if/when we see each other should I pretend everything is normal? Or should I take time/space to forget about her. In the past I could just cut all ties because they weren't really close friends, but I feel like this is different. Like I said we have several close mutual friends. I'm supposed to fly back next weekend for a get-together.
TL;DR: | Same old story: Fell for and rejected by close friend with several mutual friends. Pretend everything is okay or take some time/distance to forget? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24F) with my Dad (58F), he has a messed up past that he doesn't know I know that explains the way he acts. I don't know how to be okay with it.
POST: A while ago my Dad got extremely drunk around my little sister (20F) and told her three major things. 1) He was in an orphanage for a period as a child 2) He was married for two years when he met my mum 3) He was sexually abused as a child.
My sister has slowly told me these things as she's frustrated at the position that he put her in by telling her those things (and not remembering) and also to talk about it.
My Dad has always had anger issues and will become stressed very quickly over stupid stuff - where he starts yelling and turns bright red. For example my sister has lost her bank card overseas so I'm going to do a money transfer for her- he's stressed that she has lost her card, blah blah. I live with my parents currently and they came home whilst I discussing it with her. He wasn't asked for any assistance but felt the need to comment negatively about it. It pisses me off because my sister is doing the right thing and it will be sorted soon.
He is really insecure about himself but is overweight and constantly making excuses. He is judgemental about so much and quickly dismisses people if they don't fit his idea of how people should act. He has a very dysfunctional relationship with his sisters and when you know about his childhood it makes a lot more sense and I can have empathy for him but I'm not meant to know.
I wish he would've told us all at some point but I can see why he didn't. I'm struggling most with the marriage thing, that seems like something you'd tell your children doesn't it? We don't have any other brothers/sisters apparently. The marriage is news to me today and I've known about the other points for a while now.
How do I keep quiet and not start resenting my Dad for keeping these things from me? He had a terrible relationship with my Mums parents and always talks bad about them- but they likely don't approve how my mum and him started their relationship.
TL;DR: | My Dad has had a bad childhood and was married when he met my mum. He told my sister. She told me and he's not the kind of person you can talk to about this stuff. How do I deal with it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26/M] friend initiated [21/F] conversation but didn't reply to my last message... ? Was I creepy?
POST: So there's this girl that I met a little over two months ago, but really started talking to a little over a month. Around the end of May, she asked ME out. I said yes, and we went out together. Shortly a little while after that, my car broke down and I couldn't see her for a couple of weeks. We stilled continued to talk every day for a month after that.
The past 3 weeks, our conversations have slowed down A LOT. Which makes sense, because we haven't seen each other in a while, and with people you haven't seen in a while, they're not going to be at the forefront of your mind. So she barely hits me up as much as she used to. I still have a crush on her though, but I'm not sure what to do.
Anyways, this past Sunday she hit me up asking me what's up. I said I was working and what she was up to, she said she was working too and it was really slow. I said that sucks =\, she said "Yeah, I only made $60." Well, anyways shit came up and I couldn't reply until 2 hours later. I responded back with "Damn. Is Sundays usually this slow. Sorry I didn't reply right away, I was dealing with some BS." - She never replied to that message.
I feel that last message might have seemed thirsty/creepy/desperate. I just wanted to acknowledge that I wasn't ignoring her on purpose. It's been 4 days and still no response.
I feel like she gave me a window of opportunity Sunday to ask her out for the 4th of July. I didn't take that opportunity cause I already had plans. Is there any way I can salvage it?
TL;DR: | Friend/crush initiated conversation. I then later followed up with a question, got no reply. I feel like I was either creepy by being too desperate, or not interested enough. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: The love of my life is moving away to Vietnam, what can I do?
POST: This is my first time submitting a post here so forgive me if I am doing it wrong.
I am a 22 year old graduate student in California and I am dating a 24 year old girl from my classes who is an international student from Vietnam. We have only been dating for about 4 months but I feel closer to her than anyone in my life. I have never felt about anyone the way I do about her and it scares me that I am so madly in love with her in such a short period of time. I feel like she is "the one" (forgive the cliche) and I can't picture myself with anyone else but her now that we are together
Recently, she has told me that she intends to move back to Vietnam after we graduate in August to move back in with her family and find work there, and I imagine that I would only see her maybe one or two weeks a year if we tried to do the long distance thing. Many times I have tried to convince her to stay and try to find work in America but it doesn't seem like she is willing to try that. I have been so torn up about this recently and I don't know what to do. I have been depressed recently and drinking to try to forget about this inevitability. What can I do or is there anything I can do? Any advice or words of encouragement are appreciated. Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | My girlfriend who I am madly in love with is moving away to Vietnam in four months, probably permanently, and I am depressed and scared. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: To people with sexual fetishes dependent on modern society or pop culture: Why? (Probably NSFW)
POST: Most fetishes I can understand. Feet fetishes (most everyone has feet and we regularly admire other parts of the human body), bondage (the desire to be able to control another person), even bestiality (animals gotta fuck too... so why not do it with them?), but all of these fetishes seem rather timeless (i.e., I can see humans getting into this throughout history). But last night I was sent a link to the "My Little Pony" porn subreddit [/r/clopclop] (NSFW)... This is a fetish I don't get... "My Little Pony" has not existed throughout history, yet I am sure there are plenty of people who completely get off on these images.
So to those of you who have fetishes dependent on modern society/technology/pop culture (e.g., "My Little Pony," latex, medical tools, etc.). I ask, why? Can you isolate other, more primal things, that you are also in to which build in to this? For example, are people who are into "My Little Pony" porn also into bestiality, erotic paintings, and long hair? Or have you really never been turned on by anything until you saw one animated pony fucking another?
TL;DR: | People with fetishes dependent on modern society/technology/pop culture ("My Little Pony", latex, medical tools, etc.), can you explain your fetish in terms of more primal desires? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my gf [26 F] of a few years, she tries to get me mad in arguments.
POST: Just like the title says. There have been times in the past where I raised my voice during a discussion turned argument, since which I've made an effort at eliminating. Raising my voice made her feel terrible, which she explained to me afterwards (which I understand.) Now, the issue has become that if a discussion turns into an argument again, I will take a self-imposed break to gather my thoughts before continuing. This has worked well for me, and I've communicated that to her so she at least knows why it happens. Perhaps as part of a lack of understanding, she gets frustrated by this, which then leads to accusations of me having a temper issue, always being mad in discussions, and eventually, attempts to draw me across the line and actually make me mad.
My issue is simple, I would like for it to stop - I've asked for the accusations to stop already, which has not happened. I'm now resorting to actions to possibly quell the behavior (stopping discussions once the attempts begin, for example) which offers temporary relief, but leads to more fiery discussion again upon resuming.
I've also asked to switch from in person talking, to texting/emailing. It helps with being able to think a bit more coherently and form more organized thoughts. Downside being, context can be interpreted more widely.
In due time, usually a few days, things die down, fences are mended, and we pick up and carry on again, until the next argument.
Would anyone possibly have any suggestions to try and improve the way arguments are handled? Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | Gf doesn't like if I get mad, but does thing to try and make me mad in arguments. Need a way to better handle this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] losing sense of self worth with [32 M] of 2 years
POST: My SO has a very strong personality.
He loves the spotlight, loves attention, loves to brag, loves validation. I of course like validation and congratulations when due just as much as the next person, but am much more reserved and quiet. I don't want the spotlight, and I'm not nearly as social as him.
His life of the party personality has me feeling so 'in his shadow' among friends and family. I go places without him and people instantly start asking about him. If we're in a social setting together, I feel invisible. I have started avoiding group outings because of the anticipation of feeling small.
I don't have the strength, desire, or confidence to get on his soapbox level, but being on different levels makes me feel so much... beneath him. It's starting to have an effect on my overall sense of self worth. If our friends and families seem to enjoy him so much more than me, do they even want me around or are they just excited to see him, Mr Fun? Are my successes simply not worth bragging about? Do I have anything to be proud of?
I can convince myself that I'm being absurd, that I just need to muster the confidence and happiness I had at the beginning of our relationship, before I started to feel like I was drowning socially when in groups with him, that I am doing just fine and have so much to be proud of, but the doubts and feelings of inadequacy all rush back so quickly.
I'm starting to doubt if I have the strength to search for my lost confidence anymore. Is this all on me? Should I expect him to do a better job of making me feel included? Am I just realizing that our personalities may not be compatible?
TL;DR: | can't keep up with SOs social spotlight needs, has me doubting my own self worth. get over it? ask for some accommodation from him? or are we just too different? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Last night the Police knocked on my door at 1:00 AM on an "Unattended Children" welfare call. I refused to let him into my home without a warrant, to which he replied he didn't need one on welfare calls. Reddit, what are my rights in this sort of situation?
POST: I live in Texas, and I'm sitting in my study at 1 AM playing a computer game when there is a knock on my door. Now, I don't live in the best part of town, and I'm somewhat of a paranoid man, so I refuse to open the door not knowing whether he was actually an officer or not (It also didn't help that I had no peep-hole and no way to see if he was who he said he was). The officer then claims he is responding to a call about unattended children and wants to come in and look around. I tell him there are no children here but informed him that "I'd be happy to let you in if you have a warrant, but without one I do not give permission to enter my home." He then informs me that on a welfare call he does not need a warrant to enter my home and then threatens to break the door down. I stand my ground and tell him he may not enter without a warrant, which is followed by silence. In this time I go to another room and look out of the window, see the badge and gun, and then go outside to meet him. It turns out the caller hadn't given him the full address and he was at the wrong place. He then (in a very polite and respectful manner) informs me he does not need a warrant to enter my home on a welfare call.
Reddit, is this true? If so, then what are my rights if this happens again? Care to expand my knowledge (and most likely that of others) of what to do in this situation?
TL;DR: | Officer says he doesn't need a warrant to enter a home without permission on a welfare check in Texas. IANAL, is this true? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Today, I experienced instant Karma at college. (See text for full, short story) It was super satisfying to see, to say the least. Reddit, what was your best case of Instant Karma you experienced, and how good or bad did you feel?
POST: After a great lunch, I decided it was time for me to head back to college because I had a class in about 15 minutes. After searching for a parking spot for about 5 minutes, I find a perfect spot between my next class, and my last class for the day. Perfect.
I'm literally turning into the spot and some cockmunch, knowing I'm about to park there, jumps in and steals it. Now, I didn't mind, because I thought it was hilarious, but the guy in the truck, who was stealing my spot, was grinning an "I just stole your spot" grin, so I got a little annoyed because he was purposely trying to make me mad. Plot twist! He backs into the spot, which is illegal at South Plains College (Located in Levelland, Texas), and I think to myself, "I hope that bitch gets a parking ticket."
I smile back at him, and park in a new spot across the street, which isn't as convenient as my stolen spot. He walks to class and is still giving me the "I'm a shithead" grin. After my hour and 15 minute class, I go back to check the windshield to see if there is a ticket. Oh yeah. He has a ticket. I leave him a little note (second link), and go on my way.
Moral of the story? Don't be a bitch ass.
TL;DR: | Guy deliberately stole my parking spot, got parking ticket after. I left him a little note. He's a bitch ass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25F] boyfriend [28M] of 10 years doesn't grow up.
POST: I really don't know what to do anymore. I've been patient, we are living together now for 6 years and the more time passes and we have to decide what path to take on our lives, the more I ask myself what am I doing with him. I realized I could not get married to him, I really don't want to.
He doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, but he doesn't even try... and I mean it, he doesn't want to study hard, exercise, learn anything, watch a fucking TV show that is new... I talk about the things I want in a few years (travel the world before I settle down)and all he says is "OK, we'll see", " yeah, I would probably go with you, I don't know ". I know that means a no, or if it's a yes it's like " I'll just sit here and wait for you to do everything, I'll follow you if you make the effort of taking me ". You know?
I don't see how I could end it, but I can't keep going like that. And its not just the future, it's the right now, he doesn't want any responsibility at all. I didn't want any too, but here I am trying to make this fucking married life I didn't ask for in the first place work.
I don't want to end it, but o don't know if I should. And I don't know how I'd do it.
TL;DR: | my bf doesn't want anything from his life and I don't know if I want to be with him anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] think I'm getting cold feet about moving in with my girlfriend [20F]
POST: We've been dating for about a year now. We're moving in together this April in a city about two hours away from home for school. She'll be living off student loans until next year, as will I until September where I'll be working as a nurse and making good money. We priced it out, and us living together is going to cost about the same as her living in a dorm for her program.
Financially, we're golden. Our relationship is amazing, we haven't had a fight yet, and we're going strong. We're both planning on getting married a few years down the road. The reason I'm starting to question us living together is I still live with my parents. This will be her third year living away from home. I feel like I'm missing out on living by myself first. I want to get the experience of having to shop, cook, and clean entirely for myself on my own, not with her as I fear it may put strain on our relationship. In addition to this, I almost feel as if I'm missing out on the scary, exciting experience of living by myself. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 1 year and I are moving in come April. Financially sound, relationship is sturdy as a rock. I'm worried about missing out on the experience of living alone. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I ran a red light to prevent a potential crash that didn't become a crash. I believe cameras may have been at the intersection. Any legal advice if it's brought up and taken out of context?
POST: Was driving up A1A around noon when I saw a car not turn in his turn-only lane. And instead went straight into the [two-way turning lane] right through the intersection.
Now this struck me as bizarre but I brushed it off as a mistake, an innocent one, but one that could have gotten hairy. I pass them and then arrived at the next intersection and kept an eye on the person. I found the person still driving through the center turn lane and not planning on breaking or slowing down.
I watch my rear view mirror in complete awe as the car slaps right into a medium (the ankle high ones, not the waist high ones) at no less than 40 mph and I see it take about a foot of air. At this moment I'm scared shitless as this thing is less than 30 feet away. I have no idea if the person's drunk, asleep, dead or what. I don't know if they have any idea how to stop their car, or if it's even in their control.
Now here comes the part I realize was probably the worst thing I could have done, I panicked. I looked at the three-way intersection left and right for anyone. Saw a car pretty far away coming at the intersection to my left. But I said fuck it and stomped my pedal like it raped a daughter of mine. I made it out clear and managed to look behind me and saw that the car was now two lanes away from the center and almost completely facing the side walk (still on the correct side of the road thank god). The person immediately steered right back into the lane as if nothing happened. With a nasty dent in their bumper. I don't think the person would have hit me, but I didn't want to take that chance over my own sudden instinct to look around and then gun it.
TL;DR: | See a car behind me hit an ankle high medium @ 40mph, panic, look around as well as I can and gun the red light. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU: by ruining my chance at losing my virginity
POST: I'll never forget this moment...happened about 10 years ago during my freshman year of college. Reflecting back, it really unfolded like the stereotypical way to mess up with a girl. I had *zero* experience with girls at this point in my life, and had no idea how to tell if a girl was into me, let alone what the hell to do about it if she did.
Started, I met her the first week she lived on the floor below me. A tall redhead, big perky ones with an ass to die for. In the back of my mind I felt comfortable around her because I thought I never would have a chance with a woman like her(especially with an endless supply of dicks around her). We hit it off right away and naturally just hung out. Within the first week we were around each other a lot. Several nights of drinking and just hanging out with no sexual/relationship stuff.
But then one night, I was in a drunken stupor with her alone in my dorm. She literally just pounced on my ass. I was aroused, excited, confused, and shitface drunk. No exactly a great combination. We started making out immediately and oddly enough it felt entirely natural. She stripped down and I began to cluelessly fumble about her body. I began the finger dance on her downstairs and could feel the tension rising...my mind was yelling...*this is IT! This is the moment I've envisioned for years, it's finally here*.
I felt her moan and twist, the power was in my hands. I finished her, and she straddled me. *oh lord yes*. She pulled out a condom and began to unwrap it. Throughout all of this, I barely spoke a word aside from a few guttural noises and moans. But for some reason, the combination of my emotions, inexperience, and shock produced the worst possible words to come out, "I love you".
She got up, put her clothes on, didn't say a thing and walked out leaving me on my couch with a boner. The best moment of my life had just turned into my worst. Shortly after my drunk roommates stumbled in and I had to report of my failures. My only consolation was the smell on my hands.
TL;DR: | I desperately wanted to lose my virginity. The opportunity was handed to me on a silver platter the first week of college. I blew it by blurting out "I love you". |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] with my friend [16M] of 2 years. He got a crush on me, I'm straight and with a girlfriend. He now is threatening suicide.
POST: So me and Charlie have been friends for 2 years now, we were really really good friends and everything was fine up until recently. So about a month ago Charlie told me that he has got what he thinks is a crush on me. He isn't gay (his words) but he has a small crush. Turns out a week weeks later that he realises he really likes me. He says that he gets jealous over me and my girlfriend too.
Ever since this I have been hesitant about things with him. I feel so awkward about everything and he won't leave me alone about it. He will literally ignore everyone for the whole day if I don't talk to him or he gets the assumption I don't want to talk. Everyone asks what's up with him, I just say I don't know although I actually do.
He also says that no one cares about him and that he's done with life. Although all these people are asking to make sure he's ok, he seems to only care about my view, and since I've been hesitant towards things lately, he views that as "no one cares". These comments have gotten a lot more serious though, saying this the other day: "Just remember if anything happens to me, it's not your fault." And also: "I'm just fucking better off gone". I feel like I need to mention this to an adult or get him help on some way cause this is getting out of hand. He also denied therapy any time I mention it when he says he's depressed.
What do I do about this??
TL;DR: | Friend of 2 years suddenly got s crush on me, becomes jealous of everything I do and relies all his happiness on me, also threatens to kill himself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Estranged parents [55M, 54F) are really trying to see me [24M] in person, bringing my wife [23F] of 6 months, sister [22F], and grandparents into the situation
POST: Short back story: A few months ago, I had a falling out with my parents. It's been a long time coming. I've been going along to get along for years, letting them push me and my wife around to keep the piece.
Anyway I put my foot down a few months ago. The content of the conversation doesn't really matter. The result was I have refused to speak with them until they both see a counselor to work through some of their issues (I've also started seeing a therapist).
My sister is graduating college next month in the same city that my wife and I live. My parents and a lot of our extended family are coming to town to celebrate with her. My sister really wants us to join them all for dinner. She's been texting my wife trying to convince her to talk me into going. It's really starting to cause us a lot of anxiety.
I've got use to dealing with feelings of guilt and second-guessing myself everyday when it comes to my parents. This is a whole new level of guilt. Now I'm not just refusing to speak to them, I'm refusing to see my grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. because they are with my parents. On top of that, this is a big day for my sister.
Why am I posting? Maybe I'm looking for a little reassurance. Maybe some advice, too. Thanks, Reddit.
TL;DR: | Sister is graduating college in the same town I live, my estranged parents are coming to town with extended family. Trying to deal with feelings of guilt of not seeing them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Former gamers of Reddit, what do you do for fun now?
POST: Like many here, I'm beginning to suspect I play too many video games.
When I was single and young, six, twelve, or even eighteen hour marathon sessions seemed alright and justifiable. But now I have another person who wants to share her life with me and I work long hours to support us. With fewer and fewer hours available, the simple enjoyment I have gotten from video games for most of my life is slowly turning into frustration and a feeling of time wasted. Time lost.
It seems the time for a change has come. Big life changes the way of an international move and the birth of my first child pretty much necessitates it. To that end, I have decided that all of my video game tools (powerful computer, XBOX 360, ect.) will be packed into the slowest form of shipment that won't arrive for months.
The problem that I have now is that I cannot find something to fill the gap in my life that video games leaves. For nearly twenty years, when I had free time, I would sit down in my well worn computer chair and boot up the flavor of the month. In times I have tried to back off from video games, I would find myself sitting on the couch, bored out of my mind, only really wanting to play.
So, people who have slowed or stopped their video game playing, what do you do now? What hobbies have weaned you? Do you still feel the draw of the newest game or your old favorite?
TL;DR: | I want to slow down my game playing to enrich my life, but I find myself without anything else to do. What do you do to accomplish that feat? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Trail skating this morning was a wake-up call!
POST: Since May of 2011, I've spent at least 5-10 hours a week skating (derby practice, games, trail skating) and countless hours working out elsewhere (insanity, zumba, spinning, etc). A couple months ago I decided I needed a break and then shortly after sprained my ankle the worst it's ever been sprained before (third time on this ankle, I was on crutches for a week and a half before I could even put weight on it), so all physical activity has come to a halt over the last 4 months. In those four months, I've packed on over 20lbs and my endurance is shot.
I decided when I could walk up and down a flight of stairs without pain, then I would be ready to start working out and skating again. Tuesday was zumba, Wednesday I hit up session skating, and this morning I went out and hit the trails in my skates. I was not anticipating just how out of shape I was. Trail skating is a really good indicator of endurance and I know *exactly* how much work it's going to take to get me back to where I was before.
While skating I kept thinking of everyone in this sub and how there are people that are breathing just as heavy as I am and pushing through it all anyway! This sub (and the daily 24-hour pledge) are helping me get back to being who I love to be! Thank you guys!
For anyone interested - [2011/2014 comparison] | [me today, 20lbs up](
TL;DR: | I skated 5 miles and my endurance isn't even a fraction of what it used to be, but it WILL come back! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F], him [32M]. How long is it appropriate to wait before discussing finances in depth?
POST: I've been dating my boyfriend now for almost three months. We've talked generally about what we do, but I don't really know how much money he makes. It *feels* to me like it would be kind of off putting to flat out ask "How much do you make, what does your budget look like, and how much debt do you have?" three months in to the relationship. At the same time though, this kind of stuff does matter. Money isn't everything, but it's fair to wonder where someone stands financially if you're considering them as a future spouse.
He is a podiatrist that works at an orthopedic surgery group doing all of their foot and ankle procedures. When we talked about it, it was on our first date and just general getting-to-know you stuff. We talked about how long schooling was for him, what it is that he does. Stuff like that.
I get the impression that he earns a comfortable living. I tried googling what they make just to get a feel for it, but the salary seems to be all over the place and depends on where you work. Could be 80k, could be 225k, or anywhere in between. I also don't know exactly how much he spends/budgets/saves. It's hard for me to guess if he is living within his means, conservative, or a big spender. It all depends on what he makes. If he is closer to the 80k side, he's probably pushing it. If he is closer to the 200k end, he is probably a little conservative with finances.
How can I bring this up without sounding like I'm obsessed with money? I truly don't care *how much* he makes per se. Obviously, he isn't a bum which is really all that matters to me. My real concern is if we're financially compatible in terms of budgeting -- is he a spender or a saver? Financial responsibility is important to me. I'm not a "gold digger" at all. I love my career, and earn a good living myself.
TL;DR: | When is a good time to bring up finances, and how can I breach the subject without sounding like a golddigger? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help! Me [26F] with my boyfriend [25M], who can't make a decision or do things by himself.
POST: We've been together for 7 years, went to the same college and are each other's best friends. During college, we worked on assignments and projects and even now we work and have fun together. (don't have many friends outside the relationship)
I know realise that it's weird when my boyfriend doesn't like to do things by himself (except gaming or browsing the internet), for example sometimes he asks me something and when I don't know the answer and tell him to Google it he just lets it go altogether. Or when he bought a new gaming controller and asked me to help him set it up, which is weird because it's *his* thing. Even when working, he insists on doing things together (even if it's one man's job) and I think it would be more efficient if we each worked on our separate things.
Another thing is that he always asks me what to do in a certain situation and can't make a decision alone. When I say something like "do whatever you think is best" he says "geez, thanks for the advice!"
If I try to tell him to try and do it himself, he gets upset or just quits doing that thing. So my question is, how can I help this situation and make him be more independent?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend can't make decision for himself or do things alone and it's getting very annoying. How can I make things better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do you think I could potentially have sex with my ex-gf's mom?
POST: Me and this girl dated in high school for 3 years and I would be at her house almost everyday. Her mother is extremely hot and also very sexual. She would constantly tell me about her sex-life when her daughter wasn't around, and I just found out she used to be a swinger with her ex-husband. She is now single. The other day, I went over to my exes house because she left all of my belongings on the front porch. She wasn't at home and explicitly told me to not go inside. When I arrived, the front door was open and my exes mom was paying for a pizza she delivered. When the delivery guy left she saw me and invited me in.
She was half a bottle of wine deep already and asked me to drink with her. I obliged. After a few, she invited me to stay longer to watch a movie. I agreed. Then she told me we would watch it in her bed. As we walked upstairs to "watch a movie". My ex girlfriend came home and forced me to leave.
Her mom told me before I left that I could come back any day because she misses me.
What should I do? Do you think she would have sex with me?
I'm 19 and she's probably 42.
TL;DR: | Went to exe's house to pick-up clothes when she wasn't home. Drank wine with her mom. Almost had sex with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [17/F] angry at my best friend [17F] for not caring about my feelings, is it justified?
POST: At school today my friend wanted to skip our last class, and since we pretty much aren't really friends with anyone at our school, we always skip together. But she wasn't sure and I didn't have class so I was waiting for her to tell so I could just leave.
An hour passes and I assumed that she wasn't going to skip, but turns out she made plans with our other friend and her boyfriend, making me basically wait an hour for nothing not bothering to text me and excluding me from their plans. And now I'm really mad at her, do I have the right to be?
Also I know skipping is bad, but we had a substitute teacher so we weren't getting work done anyways.
TL;DR: | I'm mad at my friend for not bothering to tell me her plans and planning things with other people, in turn excluding me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Do I talk to her again? If so, what do I say?
POST: I talked to a girl (17, as am I) that I haven't talked to for 2 years today across facebook chat. Back when I used to talk to her more, I really liked her, but when I talked to her today I was getting no response. Here is the chat:
me: hey - i havent spoken to you in ages
her: omg literally think it may have been years?!
me: yeah, i havent talked to anyone from (drama club) for around 2 years - so how are you?
her: yeahh I'm good thanks, you?
me: im not too bad, do you still go to (drama club)?
her: yeeeeeee
me: people still go?
her: yeahhhh
(I just got two one word answers in a row - im now struggling thinking of what to say)
me: not a single person has left?
her: yeahh a few, I've moved to (another club - same place different time) now
me: oh really, how comes
And thats it - no reply there. Whilst I understand that she must be busy, as am I (there were a few lengthy gaps between messages) but I didn't want to send another message as I didn't want to come off as clingy - I was trying to catch up with her, not spam her with messages.
I can always try and talk to her again when she is next online, but I don't think I should. Even if I did, how would I start the conversation?
I know this whole post has been very weird, me posting a text transcript and all, but I would appreciate any help at deciphering this to work out what my next steps should be.
TL;DR: | Today I talked to a girl who I haven't talked to in years, but was getting one worded replies. Do I bother taking any further steps? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my crush on a teaching assistant [23 F], could it work? Do I even have a chance? Should I even try?
POST: So I've had low self esteem for the last few months or so. It seems like the only time I can be fun and confident is when I'm in the atmosphere of knowing what I'm doing, and that is in the chemistry lab (this is in a university/academic setting). She's seen and graded my work, so she knows what I'm capable of. We've bantered back and forth sarcastically, but I'm still unsure if she has noticed that I have a crush on her.
Should I even ask her out? Is it weird to ask out someone who is supposed to be teaching you? I don't mind dating after the semester but given my plan on asking her out, I'd still have to see her at least once, which would be kinda awkward if she said no, but I could deal with it.
I guess my biggest question is, would she even date a younger guy who was technically her student? Do you guys have experience in that? How did it turn out?
TL;DR: | Is it weird to ask out your teaching assistant (as a student of the class)? Could it even work? What are you experiences when you chose to ask out/date an older person who was your TA(teaching assistant)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] befriended a co-worker [40M] who others find annoying/socially awkward. Need some advice.
POST: Context: I'm the newest and youngest person in my office. The co-worker (I'll call him Andrew) is much older than me but has always been nice to me asking how my weekend was, joining me at break etc. Andrew has been away for the week on business and I have been sharing my lunch with other co-workers who have also been nice to me.
However, these co-workers occasionally mock Andrew, express how they find him annoying or make comments about his weight. They also know Andrew talks to me frequently and seem to look at me like they wonder if I will tell him the things they have said. I have decided not to simply because I don't want to hurt Andrew's feelings.
My problem is that after hearing their comments I still feel kind of guilty and bothered by it because I didn't tell them to stop. Mind you, they tend to poke fun at everyone, not meaning to be harmful. Should I have said something though? How do I know they won't start making jokes about me when I'm not around? We all tend to share lunchtime together (including Andrew) so I don't want to avoid them. I'm just looking for some advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation and how to best handle it if gossip/mean jokes do come up.
TL;DR: | Co-workers make fun of another co-worker I have casually befriended which makes me feel guilty/uncomfortable. How should I handle it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf(19) of four months has a super religious mom who will not approve of me at all (m18), how do I approach this?
POST: EDIT: While my girlfriend's mother is catholic, my girlfriend herself is atheist.
My girlfriend and I have been together for roughly four months and we are both college freshmen. Long story short, it turns out her mom is extremely catholic, to the extent that she cannot conceive of anybody not being catholic or her daughter even knowing anybody who is not catholic. I am an atheist, but I'm very relaxed about it (I'm not a dick, I promise =]). Unfortunately, taking the "let's respect each others beliefs" approach is not viable, apparently she just won't accept it. To top it off, her mom is also literally crazy and has spent time in a mental institution. I am fine with her mom not liking me (well, I'm not happy about it, but I can accept it), but I'm afraid it might cause real problems. Her mom is paying for her college and her study abroad program this summer. Her mom cutting these things off seems to be a very real outcome in the worst case scenario. Also, she doesn't know I exist yet.
Anyway, reddit. It seems I only have three options, and I'm not sure what to do.
We can continue to pretend I don't exist, but I don't think this is going to last forever and isn't necessarily healthy.
I can lie to her, although I'd really rather not lie to my girlfriend's mother. Also, I don't think I could pull it off even if I wanted to.
Finally, I can be upfront and meet her, telling her that I am dating her daughter and I am an atheist. This could end with very bad results.
So, reddit, any thoughts? I could really use your help in this, I'm at a loss here.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend of four months has a mom who is literally crazy and cannot accept atheism. I am an atheist, and when she finds out about me this could have bad results. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Diabetic cat stopped eating for days, now suddenly eating again?
POST: So my cat has diabetes, and we got him regulated and off the insulin except for the occasional stress spike. This week he dropped 2lbs, wouldn't eat or drink, threw up everywhere, etc etc. Brought him to the vet, decided he's probably in ketoacidosis, since his levels were in the high 300's (got his blood tested for everything).
I made the horribly painful decision to put him to sleep and had the appointment for tomorrow at home. (The decision is not based on the diabetes alone, he needs two surgeries for other things and has some other issues that would come up eventually. This incident was just a catalyst to make that decision.)
So... little jerk that he is, tonight I put the food down for him and my other cat, and out of nowhere he runs up and starts eating like a little pig again! He's been jumping and snuggling me all day and being perfectly normal except for the fact that he moves very slowly and seems to be weak. He's lost a lot of muscle mass and I can feel his bones, but otherwise he seems *fine* behavior-wise, and if he's now eating again....
I don't know WHAT to think. Do I keep the appointment tomorrow? Do I now wait and see how it goes? If I cancel the appointment tomorrow it'd be another week before I could do it again, and if he's actually in ketoacidosis, he could get really sick between then and now.... WTF man, what do I do? I do not want to lose my best friend, but I already decided that a couple thousand in hospitalization bills and another couple years of miserable insulin shots were not an option...
TL;DR: | diabetic cat stopped eating, lost 2lbs in little over a week, I make an appointment to put him down and the night before the appointment he starts eating again and acting slow, but normal. What do I do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Potential govt job or private sector
POST: I am a recent graduate. I have had a couple govt agency internships but always preferred the private sector environment not only for higher salaries but also better motivation. I got a position at a company but they are only paying me $13h/hr as opposed to other people there who haven't graduated and are getting 45k/yr. A govt agency I interviewed for left a voicemail and I think I might be getting an offer. The pay for the position should be around 38k. Now there is a chance I could be getting a raise or offered salary after my probation period but not guaranteed. I actually enjoy it and like the challenge as opposed to govt work where nothing happens. What should I do?
TL;DR: | might get offer from gvt agency.working low wage in private with no guarantee of raise.take chance and stay or go with govt? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: My girlfriend (17) and I (18) just ended our 2 year relationship, I'm not sure how to get over it.
POST: Just over a week ago my girlfriend kissed her ex-boyfriend, after a week of us trying to put it aside more and more kept coming out about the relationship until she said that she had no feelings left for me, but she would be sure they could come back.
Up until this point she has spent the week being very upset about the whole situation, crying at the thought of the relationship ending and telling me i'm the only one for her. We had long term plans together.
However, because she said she had no feelings for me, I ended the relationship, I deleted her and then texted her to ask her a question after I had done it, and found out she is yet again at her ex boyfriends less that 24 hours after the relationship.
This is our first real relationship, we lost our virginity to each other and we done everything together. She was perfect for me, I'm slightly introverted but like to go out on occasion. Finding a girl like this was a very small chance for me, and i'm scared I won't find a girl like her ever again. I'm just not sure how I'm going to get over this. Does anyone have any advice?
TL;DR: | We had our first real relationship together, it ended and she ran off with her ex boyfriend straight away. Not sure I'll ever find a girl like her again and it makes it hard for me to get over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my people in general, Could you help diagnose my personality?
POST: I'm pretty introverted, I don't mind, but I've always had this weird feeling.
So, I usually go out, and I meet people. But when ever I'm in a group of people they always tell me they have no idea what to say. This happens with almost every group of friends I hang out with.
It makes most social situations very awkward.
The few people that I do make good friends with are people who talk a lot, and I only really hang out with them on while at school. I usually just sit back cause I'm never interested in what people say. I'm mostly just thinking a lot, about how things might work. I do have 95's=100's in my classes (I'm in engineering), so I don't think that it's I can't comprehend anything. But, My social skills really lack, and I feel like it's a waste of time to improve them, cause I don't enjoy socializing that much. But I've been trying too a bit recently to try and meet a girl maybe....but, so far I just feel awkward.
But people say they like me.
[Also, let me know if I'm in the right board]
TL;DR: | I feel socially awkward in situations, and I don't talk. I never feel like I have anything important to talk about unless it's work or improving my life, or something. Is this normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my GF [19 F] of 3 months, not sure if I should break up with her.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 months now. We started dating at the end of our freshman year and spent about 6 weeks actually together. Since then, we have been doing long distance because I live across the country and also work in a different state for the summer. This has put a lot of stress on the relationship. At first we talked a lot and would FaceTime a few times a week. We were constantly snapchatting and texting. Now, we will send like 3 snaps a day and maybe text here and there because I am busy with work (my job is in the entertainment industry and the hours are stupid long).
Lately, I haven't felt close to her or really connected in any sense. Part of me wants to see if it will fix itself when we see each other in person, but another part of me just wants to cut my losses and stop feeling trapped in something that feels like it lacks passion.
TL;DR: | Long distance relationship with my gf feels like it's a job/lacks passion and I'm not sure if I want to keep it up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My dryer has been broken two weeks, complex manager has known about it since the day it broke. Do I have any options?
POST: My dryer stopped working during the move-in Saturday two weeks ago. I and my two roommates have all made verbal complaints to the complex manager and at least one of my roommates has physically filled out a work request form (immediately after the dryer breaking.) The complex has been good about fixing issues in the past but this is getting to the point of being excessive. When one of my roommates went to complain, he was notified that new move-ins were getting priority (even though he's lived here four years AND the other roommate is a new move-in) and they couldn't tell him much beyond that. I went late last week to figure out if they could at least give us a date on when the dryer should be fixed and I was fed (what I believe to be) BS about how they are waiting for a rare part that is hard to find takes a long time to ship. I suspect this was BS as, to the best of my knowledge, no one has been by the apartment to inspect the dryer and I suspect the broken part is a simple heating element.
I live in NC. I'm not sure what the laws allow for here but I've been reading about rent escrow accounts through a judge that basically keeps the complex from receiving rent (as it sits in an escrow account) until the appliance or issue is fixed.
I would appreciate any insight on what I what steps I should take next as a renter to get the dryer fixed.
TL;DR: | I have been paying rent on a dryer that has been broken for two weeks. I would like to hear about ways to give my complex manager the incentive to fix it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [22M] currently chatting with this girl [22F] on Tinder. She's not over her ex yet but I like her, what should I do?
POST: We matched last Saturday and she's a really cute ~~thing~~ girl. So adorable and I love how she thinks. Although she admitted that she's not really over her ex yet and not ready to date - which bothered me a lot cause, why are you in Tinder then? She wasn't looking for easy sex too because she just ain't like that.
We have a lot of interests in common and she's pretty awesome overall. We started talking about our exes and our love life. I sort of became the person who she vented out her frustrations to. To be honest, I don't mind helping her out with "getting over her ex". But I just don't know how to pursue this anymore.
I would want to pursue her, but I fear that I'll just be some rebound. Any advice for me? I know there are more girls out there, I would just wanna know if there's anything I can do for now. Just keep on doing and be friendly? I can tell she's attracted to me too since she likes all my "selfie" moments on Tinder. She also said I was really cute.
I was actually thinking about asking her to have some coffee this Saturday since I really have nothing better to do - just as friends.
TL;DR: | Cute girl on Tinder admitted that she's not over her ex yet. I like her but I don't want to be the rebound. How do I go through with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Fiancé upset about nudity in movies
POST: Hey reddit! So my fiancé and I have been together for a little over 4 years and have been engaged for about 7 months. I'm 21 and she's 22. Anyway, she still gets upset when there is female nudity in movies and I fail to turn away. She thinks that I like looking at other women because she's not good enough. I love my fiancé very much and I only want her. I've told her this before. I feel as though she is very insecure about this. I have never given her reason to not trust me. I've never cheated on her, don't go to strip clubs, don't go out to bars without her, etc. Not sure if it matters but we have a long distance relationship. I go to school about 2 hours away and come home about once every 3-4 weeks. Any advice? This is a throwaway account btw (Community reference (: )
TL;DR: | My fiancé does not like me watching movies with nudity even after reassuring her that I love her and want her and only her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22f] My first love thinks he's a woman now. Is it wrong to feel strange about this?
POST: DISCLAIMER: I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT TRANSSEXUAL PEOPLE. Please don't get butthurt on this score.
The first guy I dated was pretty hapless, but harmless enough. He was basically your typical 17-18 year old guy. We were together for a year as teenagers. The breakup was mutual - quit when we were ahead. I was sad for a while but got over it. Pretty standard stuff. We stayed friends on Facebook for some reason, even though we didn't really talk anymore. A few weeks ago he suddenly comes out with his announcement: he "feels more like a woman" and has embarked on changing his identity.
WHAT THE FUCK. I was/am actually moderately upset. In all honesty, I felt a little violated. Even though I objectively know it has nothing to do with me, I was way insecure all of a sudden. People question my femininity enough (jokingly and seriously) as it is, and it's hurtful - I don't need this on top of it. I know it's selfish to feel this way, but it's embarrassing. I feel as if all my pleasant memories of that relationship are now worthless, and also I'm baffled as to how I could have been so wrong about someone I cared so much about, even in a puppy-love way.
Anyway, is this about par for the course as far as these things go? How can I overcome some of the insecurity occasioned by this? I learned my lesson, anyway - don't keep exes in your newsfeed.
TL;DR: | Ex-bf comes out as trans - threw me for a tailspin, even though he's out of my life. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27F] with my ex [30M] of 3 months. He dumped me yesterday
POST: Hey all,
I just got dumped officially yesterday but he messaged me about it 2 days ago. We met online and he was super great. Very respectful of my barriers. We always had a great time hanging out. I've met and hung out with his friends. He's met mine. We waited almost 2 months before kissing and having sex. We talked everyday, almost all day, about nothing and everything. He was very sweet, passionate, and a gentleman. Also, the sex was awesome.
2 days ago, he messages me to say he's not excited about where things are going. We're incompatible in how we communicate and socialize, and I wasn't fulfilling an intellectual need of his. Of course, I was devastated to hear this. I can't say I loved him, but I loved what we had and what we gave each other. I don't know how to move on from this. Everything else about him is great except for this one compatibility issue. If he'd been a jerk, or cheated on me, had some sort of abhorrent character flaw, this would be so much easier. Unfortunately, this is the worst I've ever felt about being dumped.
I've been dumped before but this hurts the most because I was completely blind sided, and I so much enjoyed every second I spent with him. I know I should focus on other things to feel better but I can barely eat and don't have much motivation to do anything but sit and remember what we did together while listening to Adele on repeat. I'm afraid I won't find a guy as great as him. He fulfilled so many of my needs and gave more.
TL;DR: | Great guy dumped me over a compatibility issue that wasn't a big deal to me. I'm having so much trouble moving on from this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by ruining a school field trip for special needs children
POST: This happened a few months ago when I used to manage a tech section at a retail store.
A local high school for special needs scheduled a field trip to our store. These students were in their mid teens and had moderate to severe disabilities such as downs syndrome, non-verbal autism, etc. The purpose of the trip was to get a behind-the-scenes view of a common store to see if they had career potential or interest in cleaning, stocking, or otherwise.
They spent the day dusting or cleaning screens, stocking ink, putting up prices, and other operational tasks under the supervision of another manager. There were about twenty students, so it was hard to turn a single aisle and not see one. They were cleaning our restrooms and, unfortunately for me, I had to fart. Like really bad. Like I wasn't going to go number two, but dear lord it was brewing.
I found heaven in the receiving room. I released the longest, hottest silent fart that smelled like week-old roadkill. I leave the double doors with a great weight lifted from my abdomen. At least until the group heads for the back room to see our warehouse.
They all go back and get a huge whiff. One of them starts either crying or his eyes were watering that badly. Then another due to the commotion. Then another. And another. A teacher thought one of the students shit themselves so she's herding each and everyone to the bathroom trying to keep calm. The manager with the group says over the walkie "good god who did this?!" Before I could even think of confessing, a coworker loudly broadcasted that it was probably one of the students. They all heard him from the bathrooms, where the rest of them begin to cry/rage/shut down.
TL;DR: | Left a deadly fart cloud for a class of disabled children. Pandemonium broke loose, trip ended quickly, and I'm going straight to hell. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: (M 27) I wasn't engaging on a first date, she seemed very interested in getting to know me though
POST: So I'm in a bind here. I haven't been dating for very long (4-5 months) and I got back from a date from earlier today. She was interested in me more then all the other dates I've had, was curious about what I did for a living, was very engaged in talking about programming even though it wasn't her background, always brought up things from my online profile, but I just wasn't feeling very great today and I feel like I passed on a good opportunity to really engage in a meaningful first date.
We had coffee, walked around a shopping center in the rain, stopped by a pet store, she bought some things for her pet, and she was very lovely to me, spent an hour together. The issue is that I know didn't seem very engaged with her... but I was interested in talking about her background, what she does for a living, yadda yadda, but today was a very miserable day outside, and we agreed to the meeting only a few hours before, so I had pretty much no time to really prepare myself for a date, since I'm very inexperienced.
We ended the date with a hug, and I asked her if I could see her again and she was pretty open to meeting again, saying I should call her. I texted her, just saying thank you for meeting me today, and no response yet.
TL;DR: | Inexperienced guy with dating didn't have his A game for the first date, girl was interested in the guy the entire time, holding up the conversation and was deeply involved in asking about his background. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Puppy pottying in the house because she's afraid of the dark
POST: I am visiting my uncle's house to watch his dogs while he is gone for two weeks. He has a total of three dogs. The youngest, a 5 month old bouvier, will not stop going to the bathroom in the house. My uncle leaves in a few days, and I'd like to potty train the dog so I'm not bald by the time he returns.
Background information: The two older dogs are absolutely wonderful and potty trained. The oldest is about 10, and the other is about 2 years old. They have had no accidents in the house. When the dogs are let out, they go out the patio door in the kitchen, which leads them to a deck. There are about 15 steps they go down to get to the yard.
The dog will go outside and go to the bathroom during the day. I think she's afraid to go in the yard by herself at night (when most of the problems happen). He doesn't want to crate train her, and buying one for her size is not really in the budget anyway. There is a light in the backyard, but it doesn't illuminate much of it (and doesn't light up the steps down).
TL;DR: | – My uncle's 5 month old Bouvier wont stop pottying in the house and is afraid to go in the yard by herself at night. How do I alter this behavior? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is your most fucked up New Years Story?
POST: I had an amazingly bad - pretty much sitcom bad New Years this time around.
All new years eve, from around 5:30 in the morning, I had TERRIBLE abdominal pain on my right hand side. Being a biology student who has completed some basic anatomy subjects at university, I thought it may be my appendix or kidney stones, but I was leaning more towards kidney stones - which I most certainly did not want. It faded at around 4pm, and became manageable.
At 11:05pm the pain hit me harder than ever, it felt like a hand grenade had gone off in the right side of my abdomen. The pain was unbearable, so much so that I asked my girlfriend to either call an ambulance or drive me to the hospital. She takes the latter option. When we arrive at the hospital, in the pouring rain, and I fill out some paperwork and get asked my phone number to which I reply "I'm not sure of our home number, we only just got a new number" (relevance of this will be seen soon).
I waited in the waiting room of the emergency department for an hour (it was now 2012), after which I told my girlfriend to go home and get some sleep and that I would ring her when and if I was okay. Another hour later, the doctor saw me and ran a whole bunch of tests, and concluded that I had a torn and cramping muscle on the right side. I got pain medication and left the hospital at 3:45am.
At this point, I rang my girlfriends mobile. NO ANSWER. NOTHING. I ring it 16 more times. NOT A FUCKING THING. Turns out she was expecting me to ring the house phone - of which the number I did not know. "okay this fine" I tell myself, "I'll get a taxi home". So I ring the only taxi company in our small city, and I get told there is a 3 hour wait, as it is new years.
FUCK
I walk myself home from the Emergency Room 6 kilometres (3 miles) in the rain.
That is my most fucked up new years story.
TL;DR: | Went to the ER at 11pm, got out at 3.45am, tried to call someone to come get me, tried a taxi, had to walk home for 2 hours in the rain |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mom's (63F) sick brother (65M) asking for money (again) after years of being MIA.
POST: Note: My mother and I and our immediate family haven't seen my uncle in 8 years. Despite our efforts and invitations to family functions.
Yesterday my mom received a call from her brother saying he has several different serious illnesses, one of them a type of cancer. Though my mom and her 7 siblings had a rough childhood, my uncle had decades of issues with drugs, cigarettes + alcohol. He got clean around his 40's but by then it was too late, lost the good jobs he had, etc. He has a wife but no children, she quit working once they got together. No money, rents a home, etc.
My mother is well off, however she has been extremely generous to our entire family over the years. If she can help, she does. She is wonderful. One of my siblings requires a lot of support, as he has severe learning disabilities and medical issues. But he has held the same job for 10 years. My mother's husband is ill and also requires care that costs money. She has helped my uncle over the years financially when he needed it. She financed my grandmother and paid for her funeral. She has taken financial burdens off my aunts and uncles by paying for her assisted living, etc. My mom also has her own health issues and is having a minor surgery next week. I'm worried about her stress over this ask from him.
I feel terrible for my mother as she loves her brother but is not close to him and I think it's awful that he is so desperate and has to reach out, but he hasn't seen us in 8 years.
What should she do without being heartless? How can you say enough is enough to someone who is ill? She's a mensch but she's very upset over this phone call, crying and not sleeping.
TL;DR: | My very generous mother was blindsided with a request for money from her ill brother. She has her own problems and I am worried about her stress from this request. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I think I'm depressed but I want a straight answer, I'm never sure if it's just a rough time or if it's a problem.
POST: Hey guys, I'm 18 years old and my adolescence was a trying time for me, with a lot of emotional ups and downs which is "normal" for a female going through puberty, especially one as sensitive to hormone fluctuations as I am. However, the last few months (since this semester started basically) have been weird for me. I feel tired all the time and usually sleep 12-14 hours a night. I have trouble going to class and when I go, I usually can't focus. I feel fine a lot of the time and laugh and joke with my SO, have a healthy sex life and social life but if I'm alone and things are quiet, I get very down and extremely lazy.
Now, being lazy would be ok and normal except for the fact that it's extremely out of character for me. I was a fantastic student in high school and my first year of school I pulled just over a 3.0 (not great but not bad either). At this point, this semester I'll be lucky to pull a 2.5 and not for lack of studying either, it just seems like I woke up stupid all of a sudden and I can't retain anything anymore.
I used to love to sing and play viola and since being away at school, I've lost the drive to even do that anymore, practicing is a chore and I'm not passionate about my music minor or my chemistry major like I was a year ago. Also, I've been really gone lately, I've run 2 red lights in the last 6 months just because I wasn't present. I know it's dangerous but it's not a normal thing for me, I just don't understand.
Things that I used to find easy, enjoyable, or fun just don't feel that way anymore and I don't know if it's just that life in college is harder or that I am slipping. I hate getting medical advice from reddit but the last time I went to a therapist she sent me home telling me that it was my boyfriend breaking up with me that was making me so sad and that it should go away (this was about 4 years ago and obviously it's back with a vengeance).
TL;DR: | I was the perfect student in high school and my first year of college and this year I can't even get out of bed |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm 19M doubting my own sexuality.
POST: Hay,
I'm a 19 Year old male, who's turning 20 very soon, my last Girlfriend was over 6 - 7 Months ago, which ended horribly.
The ending of my last relationship was very damaging to me mentally and emotionally. It still comes on my mind occasionally.
Recently I've been having uncomfortable moments, when i've doubted myself making me nervous and tense also causing me to feel very distracted from work & general life.
I've had moments when i've looked at other males and said there handsome, or good looking. I also had a moment when i was watching tv and commented that he's got a nice body, or on 1 occasion a nice bum. (these may seem silly but for me it causing me to have doubts). I feel like it happen more and more often. (or i could be over thinking)
During self pleasure (trying to put it nicely), i still think about girls, but there been these weird moments of lets say trigger memory when something relates to something else, and a name of male friend, or even mental image (not sexually) comes into my head causing me to have to shake it off and think otherwise. Which didn't happen before my break-up. I don't become stimulated by looking at man or the idea of it. I'll still find girls attractive, and be stimulated by it, but i also feel it happening less than i'm used to. It could be that i'm even reaching the end of puberty..
Please ignore the fact that this is a new reddit account, it just that it a very uncomfortable topic for me and i felt that i'd like to keep as private as possible.
Thank you
TL;DR: | Should i be worrying about these doubts, or are they just small things that i'm overreacting to due to my breakup. |
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