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  Search - "access"
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  - Boss decided to limit Wi-Fi access only to company computers.
  Ended up blocking everyone, including himself.10
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  - On Slack
  Me: I can't access the VPN
  Network team: You have to create a user incident
  My browser: 403
  Network team: Yeah you need to be on the VPN to access the incident system
  Me: 😐18
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  - me: I don't have access to X project
  PM: you don't have access to X project?
  me: no, I don't have access to X project
  PM: don't worry I'll take care of that
  2 min. later
  PM: so, you were saying ... ?
  me: that I don't have access to X project
  1 month later
  me: I don't have access to X project
  PM: you don't have access to X project?11
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  - "Opps.. I'm sorry, but you have insufficient rights to open this Ticket."
  Well. You know what? I AM THE FUCKING SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR YOU CUNT!
  YOU HAVE INSUFFICIENT RIGHTS to restrict me access to that fucking ticket!
  "Oh. In that case, go ahead."
  THANK YOU. FUCKING PRICK.4
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  - I just helped one of our cleaners get Internet since the management whitelisted devices that can get WiFi access.
  I believe that anyone, regardless of position, must have equal access to the resources in this company.11
  - Fleksy keyboard: We don't access your private information and upload it to the cloud!
  No, because I'm blocking your Internet access through a fucking root firewall.12
  - Freaking genius dev made a system access password @$$Monk3y1
  Had to share that with a vendor...on a conference call5
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  - Happened on my first day in internship :
  Me: Hey, I'm not allowed to install anything, could you install me Sublime Text?
  Boss: yeah sure, hold on, I'm granting you admin rights
  Me: ..
  - "Your complementary internet access has expired please pay for.."
  macchanger -r
  "Welcome to blablabla public wifi please enjoy 1 hour of complementary internet access"
  I love this tool14
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  - Boss: log in to azure and fix this server
  Me: I don't have access
  Boss: why not?
  Me: you never gave me access...
  Boss: ...
  Me: hello?
  Boss: (never responds in chat)
  Me: 😒4
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  - Just found out that the generic router that our ISP gave us, which we use at work, has a port you can telnet into to get shell access with root privileges.12
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  - That moment when installing arch...need wifi drivers to access internet and need internet to install wifi drivers 😢9
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  Client emailed me the following response.
  Yes, what is your email?9
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  - Please, for fucks sake people, STOP CALLING ALL FORMS OF INTERNET ACCESS WI-FI. CELLULAR ACCESS IS NOT WI-FI. FUCKING ETHERNET + FIBER OPTIC/SOME MORE COPPER CABLING/WHATEVER IS **NOT** WI-FI.12
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  - Here's how my day is going:
  > Access::MerchantsController
  => MerchantsController
  > Access::MerchantsController
  NameError: uninitialized constant Access::MerchantsController
  -.
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  - My dad was a Novell Certified Engineer and my mom a Bachelor in Computer Systems, so I kinda admired them until one tragic day my dad suggested "Hey son why don't you make it using Access".1
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  - The biggest coding distraction is sitting in front of a computer with internet access, let's be honest here.8
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  - Teacher: From today on, we will start working with ms access 😊.
  Me: Please die and let my life in peace ☹️ and learn with something useful (MySQL) instead.7
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  - I hate access. I wish I could use literally any other program. But they're not authorized.
  I'm the only one working on this, and everything is closed. How the fuck is the object in use somewhere else? And where the fuck did my primary key go???7
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  - Did i just get rick rolled through a user agent?
  "[17/Nov/2020:10:20:42 +0000] "GET / HTTP/1.1" 200 1274 "-" "We are no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment is what Im thinking of. You wouldnt get this from any other guy.." "-""5
  - Damn fuck it. I am making a program with
  #include <windows.h>
  Accessing the Win32 API in c is such a pain. Just made a simple window with 70 lines of c code. And I have to edit it in turbo c but run it in some other compiler. Our teacher is a .... uhhh
  Hate projects.
  Sorry if the rant doesn't make sense. I am too tired.11
  - Apparently the firewall at work has blocked access our git repo since there are too many consecutive requests to it.3
  - Me trying to use Linux for first time:
  Sudo node index.js
  access denied
  Sudo shutdown
  access denied (noob)
  Me: im going back to Windows now....23
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  - We gave admin access to a user who thinks he knows what he's doing. Why did we give admin access to a user who thinks he knows what he's doing?6
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  - It took 2 fucking days for the network team to assign permission to my username to access 2 x dedicated servers on the network.
  Like dude WTF, it's a 5 (max) minute job. I'm not judging just saying.2
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  - Our prof told us today in a zoom lecture: "Never visit b-ok.org, it is totally illegal", with emphasis on how he would NEVER recommend to visit that website for free education illegally.
  I guess he is totally against the idea of pirating educational material15
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  - Worst technology I've ever worked with?
  Microsoft-FUCKING-Access
  The error riddled, varchar frenzy, disgusting ui, os and architecture dependent pieces of shit, powered by the cherry on top: fucking VBA, that are applications developed with this monstrosity have kept me awake trying to understand why on earth would anyone that is not dying of cancer already would use such thing to try to build anything.
  I had to deal with load of Access applications when I first started at my current company. Whats left now are mainly legacy systems, I killed them one by one and whatever's left will suffer the same punishment.
  If you develop in Access you're my enemy and I will destroy you.6
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  - Computer science doesn't just mean teach me how to use Microsoft office over and over... MS Access is not useful!!!5
  - 3 hours of "I don't have access to that router" and waiting for someone who does have access to join the line. And then they don't have access, etc..
  I love networking, hate working with network engineers.
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  - Am I the only one who lets friends and relatives always browse on my computer on the OS-default browser like Safari or IE. So they don't disturb my precious tabs and log in Chrome? 😂5
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  - Why the fuck is this site blocked. How the fuck is it remotely adult content? ITS A GODDAMN WEBGL GAME. And you blocked is as being EDUCATIONAL. WHY THE FUCK WOULD MY SCOOL BAN A GODDAMN EDUCATIONAL WEBSITE?
  P.S. for all those that know me, i made a website a year ago, during english class, and it got blocked at school (my goal was to get it blocked). Or so I thought. It turns out it didn't get blocked at my school, it was blocked across the whole county! I feel accomplished.12
  - Fuck non-IT departments that use Microsoft Access and think database tables are like Excel spreadsheets.13
  - Recently, my CS teacher proudly bragged about how, to this day, no pupil has ever had WiFi Access to the school network (only teachers have access).
  What a naive teacher he is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)5
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  - I'm migrating data from an old software to a new one I wrote.
  Old database it's in Access (yeah, fuck). When I opened one table, the VM hung up and I opened the task manager on MADE
  What.The.Fuck.Are.You.Doing?8
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  - Sorry fellow dev from another company, we really appreciated your help even though it was your free day. There is little chance you are also on devRant, but if you are we cant thank you enough debugging the dll provided by you and even supplying us with a dev version in which you made some changes for us to perform some extra tests. The changes looks promising as far as we have seen for now.
  This might save our asses.
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  - Big company issues: Try access something "access denied". Spend rest of day trying to figure out who can provide access to that page and what manager that needs to approve it :(2
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  - I wish my boss would stop revoking my permissions. He's always saying how these slew of things need to be accomplished, yet, everytime I go to do them I'm at a wall because, despite having permissions for a very long time he decided to revoke them entirely.
  It's not like I can't be trusted with them, it's been over 2 years with them, so why the sudden revoke?
  I finally sent some snot mail to him informing him I'm unable to complete my tasks without the permissions granted to me (I'm a sysadmin, sec guy, boss is vp of tech), and instead of him granting them yet again he's going to run around and try to hack around the permission requirement so he can avoid giving me them.
  Seriously? This is stupid. I was the one who wrote the security design and implementation document, and put all that work in. Now I'm being locked out of the system I designed, built and implemented?
  Well, time to look for a new job. If you're a manager, please don't revoke your employees permissions without notice, at random, and try to hack around well-documented security policies. It won't end well!3
  - The amount of attempts to access my website is just too much O_O
  Anyway in nginx to block access if login attempt failed after 3 times?14
  - "Google Home requires access to your location to find nearby devices"
  Get fucked, Google.
  Get. Fucked.14
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  - Dev. policy: The use of SELECT * is forbidden.
  Open Data Access Layer > first statement: SELECT * FROM bullshit_table4
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  - Normal peeps: I wasted time in that relationship
  Me: I wasted time to fix "unable to access gitlab.com please check if you have access to the file" only to realize the site was down1
  - PHB wanted access to our team chat room where we do standup, among other things. Access granted. Immediately a new chat room was created.2
  - I'm going to spend the night with a rapidly flashing blue LED in my room.
  I'm currently fixing an HDD, and the access LED is just going crazy. That's gonna be a long night.5
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  - I just love languages and functions that support using a negative int to access array from the end! Awesome.5
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  - Thinking about buying a yearly VPN plan. Private Internet Access is cheaper but NordVPN has much better interface.
  ...9
  - The Sys Admin limited everyone's access on an application through the admin panel. He forgot I have access to the database and I now have full access 😂1
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  - Dash 3 for macOS is awesome!
  It gives you instant offline access to 150+ API documentations.
  -.. had to use XSS (cross site scripting) and tag injection to change one tiny CSS property on a bug tracker site where I have no actual file access and can only add custom footer text. Why not just give me file access, or at least some way to customise the CSS, you stupid thing!2
  - Ready...
  > access security
  access: PERMISSION DENIED.
  > access security grid
  access: PERMISSION DENIED.
  > access main security grid
  access: PERMISSION DENIED...and...!3
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  - To make matters even worse, my manager gave the horrible client also access to another clients environment just to 'compare' things, and nitpick over configuration that he is missing, but just hasn't setup yet...
  Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck my manager, what a total 🌰🔩🥜nutjob5
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  - Client wants this "demo" LIVE by the end of the month... But still not got access to THEIR API yet!!! 😑1
  - Github's unlimited private organization repos for $25 a month has made me rethink which co-workers actually need repository access.1
  - Firewall is down. That means no access to developer environments. That means more time for DevRant.1
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  - Apparently someone posted on Apple's developer forum 2 weeks ago about this root privilege escalation vulenerability in macOS but it took a viral tweet to get any action. 😐1
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  - !rant
  Don't know if you guys have this kind of boxed up stuff inside like me. I have good friends, I have a good gf, I have great family and nice colleagues. But there are still so many things I don't share with them, especially the negative feelings I usually possess. Even here I don't share all the deep dark stuff.
  As much as I wanna share my true identify and personal info here, the reason I'm restraining myself from doing so is this is the only place where I can say whatever really I wanna say in my mind. Except my blog but then my blog doesn't have any reader
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  - When customers pretend to really care about security but then share server folders to "everyone" 🤨2
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  - I
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  - Axiom of dev epiphanies: they always happen when you don't have immediate access to your workstation
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  - New boss just gave me access to pluralsight, and i'm loving it! Can't wait to get going this fall. 😀1
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  - new aws iam account
  first time login requires me to change my password.
  account does not have access to iam:ChangePassword
  - Windows has just asked me the password to my Microsoft account to fucking access my computer.
  ... Do you mean that if I didn't have Internet access I couldn't use my won fucking computer? WTFF!??25
  - Head of legal: email me details of the customer information you hold/access
  Me (in head): I'm a full stack developer! I access everything!! Should I tell the truth, or "the TRUTH"3
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  -  have to maintain a system for a financial institution that only works with Windows XP and Ms Access 2003. All VBA code, security is handled using a workgroup file. Can't upgrade anything because client doesn't want to pay for it.
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  - Got access to root access of school's lab computer.
  Saw an account 'tee'(Term end exams) associated with it, copied the hash, ran a dictionary attack and the password was 'tee'
  FUCCCKCKCKKK3
  - Access undefined as undefined....
  Apple devs need a break. Xcode devs need to be sent to another planet -_-4
  - !rant but story
  Didn't participate in this week rant since the topic is not very relatable to me.
  I rarely get truly inspired. There are people I envy. There are things I like. There are moments I go, oh awesome. That's about it.
  I doubt myself that I have little bits of narcissist and sociopath traits. Maybe I am. 🤔2
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  - Does that look like a bug ? Or a feature ? It requires a considerable amount of time and effort to develop unattended remote access. How do these people develop such a feature as "mistake".5
  - It took long enough for google to do something so basic.
  So currently if you have provided mic or camera access to one of the apps, then it can also access those features while running in background..3
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  - Sooo
  Someone had that brilliant idea of changing user ID and group ID of root user in a server... Now root has no permissions.
  How am I supposed to use that server now?
  P.S: Don't ask me why they did that... I don't know and I didn't bother to ask.8
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  - !rant
  Showing a php and dual-boot guy the anti-php and anti-window posts might be an intentional algorithm. We never know. 💀
  -...
  - Well finished work yesterday at the company where I would be grilled over whether it was safe to run an SQL script on the server using the command line but they thought nothing of everyone having to log in to the server as root!8
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  - North Korea has blocked Internet access to Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube such a shame to the 3 people who have Internet access there
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  - So apparently, Remote Desktop via Citrix via Virtual Machine via Remote Desktop is how we access other servers in 2016 !1
  - Amateurs that think access is a proper enterprise database and everything should be done as a macro.2
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  - I have some people trying to access to my accounts from far away.
  I think my password have been leaked :|
  f*ck7
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  - Never knew ww1.localhost.3000 is registered until a noob in our team tried to access the local dev server :(10
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  - 23 machines down, 50 days lab access left. Hope I'll pass the exam on November and become an OSCP.2
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  - Set up .net core in CentOS 7.
  I'm able to access `dotnet --info` but can't access `sudo dotnet --info`.
  Provided I can't access root.2
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  - Inconsistent, legacy access databases might just be a tad worse than excel sheets.
  Not sure if to end myself or the author...1
  - IT teachers here at my school giving us 20 different and completely unsuitable for Access databases businesses, as subjects for indeed Access databases. And then be like "Create documentations for that"
  And they actually mean by that is
  So I clicked here then there and then I selected and pressed the C symbol key while holding the Control key on the keyboard input device connected on my computer, which happens to be plugged into the wall outlet..
  As a full-stack developer this is just so cringy I'm speechless..
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  - People who freak out and think they have been hacked when you send a message to them on the prod server using the wall command should not be allowed SSH access.
  - just logged onto a client's AWS RDS Security Configuration.
  it sets 3306 access to be allowed from 0.0.0.0
  /_\8
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  - Does anybody have experience with this? Is it worth the money?
  "My Cloud network memory, automatically synchronize data, worldwide access"4
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  - Had to call an API with SOAP, convert an Access Database to MySQL, Coded some classic ASP and used Campaign Monitor for the first time in god knows when. That's a royal flush of retro right there!
  - Having to work with a legacy system is often hard enough, adding New features content when it's a ancient access system is worse. Secretly started remaking the entire CRM system in .net instead of stabbing myself with a plastic fork to get out of the project.1
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  - VPN access expired on Monday, can't access any client systems without it. Have to wait until weekend before access can be renewed.
  God damn. One week, can't do anything effective!
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  - Seriously getting pissed off with Google. Why the fuck is it not clear or easy to link your app with a business listing to get access to the api. After searching I finally found it.
  I just filled out a form to request access and it could take 2 weeks.
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  - Person I am grading labelled “not having bugs” as their website feature... if it wasn’t 2018, I probably would say that’s a standard part of any website or software. Now... at least they’re not passing it off as early access.
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  - Successfully moved out of my current team and got assigned in Business Analyst track of my organization. Now that I’ve joined the dark side, should I stop using DevRant? Or is it a fairly technical role as well?7
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  -!...
  - Just read that if you try to access stackoverflow.com/admin.php it will redirect you to a funny youtube vid1
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  - After dealing with npm libs access permissions for an hour, glorious chmod -R 777 came to the rescue.3
  - I have 50Mb internet via Cox Cable (US), what AP should I get that:
  1) Allows at least six devices on 802.11 at once
  2) Still gets firmware updates
  - Forgets mysql password.. hits random common used words got access..
  exits..
  try to access mysql again and still dont remember which password i used..
  .. No forget password option :(
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  - A guy who thought the only way to access data was through a relational data base and the only way to access a data base from java was JPA
  -.
  - When you open an access db in visual studio so you can do sql querys with out the annoying access interface and then i realize visual studio uses the same interface as access except its worse *-*3
  - On build "Access to the path 'bin..' is denied". Close and reopen Visual Studio. Fixed. Repeat every hour.4
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  - VMware 6.5 web GUI programmer fail. Probably forgot to access a specific name property of the object.3
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  - If someone is proud about using Alpha Five Software for developing... You just upgraded from MS Access to MS Access++... And you suck...
  Go and learn some serious PL's and tools...1
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  - Anyone recommend a specific Android FTP client app? Looking for one in case I need emergency access to servers.1
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  - finally, I have access to dev server. this would be great if that server wasn't a standard installation of openSuSe.2
  - Anybody uses DigitalOcean Kubernetes? Having some issues with certificates expiring, and can't access the nodes :/1
  - About to rewrite a module of our in house ERP app written in access as a web app to demonstrate to management that access is in the past. Fingers crossed this goes to plan managed to wangle this with the wife(thank god she believes in me)
  - Fighting for an hour explaining how a query wouldn't return the data he wanted...turns out it did...but really not sure how... FU Access!
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  - I was making a local mockup-site using the images for Office365.
  And then I notice some REALLY peculiar.
  All of the images where in fine dandy 68px png.. but Microsoft Access was in 65px jpg....
  CSS resizing is a no-go.. guess I'll just have to yank and mess around with vectors in PS for a fucking miniature picture.. Access brings us nothing but pain
  I still can't believe how lazy of Microsoft this is.
  - Need to make a secure app for iOS to access and store credit card information. What database should I use?1
  - Bwhahahah! Even after the excitement, business disruption, unpleasantness and pain, GDPR fails at its one job
  - just found out that on `touchend` event you access touch in `event.changedTouches` and not `event.touches`! ☺
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