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  Search - "dafuq"
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  - Amazon Drive offers the most comprehensive data redundancy known to mankind.
  "Your data synced. A LOT."™9
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  - Today we got the following (approximately, don't remember it literally) error message on a windows server:
  Please turn on your computer. Updates can't be installed while your system is turned off.
  Genuinely; de WUT?!10
  - *client complaining about an issue they've been having for a long time now*
  Them: this has been going on for ages, if a solution doesn't come up soon were moving somewhere else!
  Me: I'm sorry to hear that but in the last ticket I see that my colleague sent a message asking for information but you never replied?
  Them: that's right!
  Me:......... Why didn't you reply...?!
  Them: we were so annoyed that we have this issue that we just didn't want to reply anymore!
  Me:...... Do you realize that we can't smell or sense that its still an issue when you don't reply to our request for more information?!
  Them:........ so I should reply again if I want this to be looked at again?
  Me: yes that's be a goo.....
  *click*
  😶8
  - ?54
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  - FOR FUCK SAKE ANDROID STUDIO!!! 5GB RAM WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!! I NEED THOSE VMs RUNNING AND USING 5GB IS NOT COOL AT ALL!!59
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  - School holidays be like:
  "Yea! I finally have time to do projects that I like!"
  When school starts again:
  "How dafuq did I manage to do absolutely nothing in the past month?!?!"4
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  - This is what I have to deal with right now... 🙂🔫
  Why?
  Why would you not comment or name your variables so someone else can understand wtf is going on here?
  Why!?16
  - This moment, when you realize that you have too much free time.
  Heyho, devRant this is my first post!6
  - There is this guy at work we call 'the human linter'
  Despite his mad clean codes skills: light theme
  Dafuq dude :(13
  - *Opens LinkedeIn*
  *Sees a posting for iOS/Android devs*
  *Read description to find: Good knowledge in Eclipse for Android*
  Which year are we in? Have they heard of Android Studio?6
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  - worst advice:
  "Use only jQuery, js is shit"
  "Use only js, jQuery is shit"
  Dude, use whatever dafuq you want, both have their pros and cons..10
  - Where dafuq is the tabs or spaces?!?!?
  They are trying to teach people to code... But they don't use any tabs or spaces in their examples. Wtf. You are breeding shit coders.18
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  - I was added on LinkedIn by a person who is:
  Strategic Thinker & Solution Architect & Innovation Thinker & Data Scientist & CORE Banking & Digital Transformation & AGM & CIO
  HOW FUCKING LUCKY I AM TO BE ADDED BY THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE -.-7
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  - Windows 7 applied updates.
  "Press ctrl+alt+delete to log on"
  I press them.
  "Shutting down windows"
  Dafuq?! I just... What? I may be hungover but windows you're still drunk.1
  - For fucks sack I just created my server and fail2ban already blocked 6 IP addresses dafuq is going on on the internet 😓23
  -*16
  - Our teacher recommends us to use the bright (blue) Visual Studio 2015 theme...
  ...dafuq man, you wanna fry my eyes?5
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  - DFox & T-rogus: Dafuq do you put in your algo? It's frikin insane how many times people notice completely related rants side-by-side or even weird replies to rants below the rant itself in our feed. What is this sorcery?9
  - *Copies url from bitbucket*
  *Switch to Slack on macOS*
  *Presses command + v*
  Slack: whaaaaaaaaaat :O I'm gonna freeze for few moments to understand what the fuck you just asked me to do6
  - !rant
  Look what I just found!
  A Legit Public JetBrains Activation Server that activates almost ANY software
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  - Who dafuq thought it would be a good idea to have the user agent stylesheet say the <body> has a margin:8px
  That's so annoying and stupid, fuu10
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  - thought I'd check why I'm getting connection timeout on my app
  I think the problem is me and not the code3
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  - Management: Create [totally idiotic and complicated feature, near to impossible to create]
  Me: that's close to impossible and could probably destroy some other parts of the application.
  Management: well, then your application is poorly programmed.
  DAFUQ? HOW DARE TO JUDGE THE QUALITY OF MY CODE WITHOUT EVEN ABLE TO READ 2 LINES OF CSS? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS?
  I'm really not easily offended but this sentence hit really hard.4
  - Go home Google you are drunk!
  Was converting a currency to USD and that error came up, what is funny is their system produced that result and it wasn't me who entered it .-.15
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  - FOR FUCK SAKE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND !!!!
  Been working on an app at work for 9 months and now PM tells me customer wants to change flow of the app!!!
  Kill me please ASAP!6
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  - Starting a new project:
  "I'm gonna write clean and commented CSS today"
  ===== 20 minutes in =====
  "dafuq does this class do? "
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  - Wasted 7 hours for this:
  import moment from 'moment'
  Should be:
  var moment = require('moment')
  What happened? When app running in debug mode all is working without issues! When generating release APK, it crashes when using moment
  Fucking hybrid shit apps...13
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  - This Moment when you find code and you have no clue why it exists, but you can remember that it was important...2
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  - The amount of attempts to access my website is just too much O_O
  Anyway in nginx to block access if login attempt failed after 3 times?15
  - I'm in search of an inspirational/creative quote not by a big name of a dead person - but by a devRant user :P
  starting with:
  I code because...25
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  - University Coding Exam for Specialization Batch:
  Q. Write a Program to merge two strings, each can be of at max 25k length.
  Wrote the code in C, because fast.
  Realized some edge cases don't pass, runtime errors. Proceed on to check the locked code in the Stub. (We only have to write methods, the driver code is pre-written)
  Found that the memory for the char Arrays is being allocated dynamically with size 10240.
  Rant #1:
  Dafuq? What's the point of dynamic Memory Allocation if you're gonna fix it to a certain amount anyway?
  Continuing...
  Called the Program Incharge, asking him to check the problem and provide a solution. He took 10 minutes to come, meanwhile I wrote the program in Java which cleared all the test cases. <backstory>No University Course on Java yet, learnt it on my own </backstory>
  Dude comes, I explain the problem. He asks me to do it in C++ instead coz it uses the string type instead of char array.
  I told him that I've already done it in Java.
  Him: Do you know Java?
  Rant #2:
  No you jackass! I did the whole thing in Java without knowing Java, what's wrong with you!2
  - enough is enough
  to all the fucker ass morons deploying mini js frameworks with ambiguous names and undocumented functionality all fucking minified and using at least 20-30 of them on each page
  dafuq you need a different slider for every section ?1
  - [Post marked as: Random]
  Microsoft joins the Open Source Initiative as a corporate sponsor.
  Dafuq?5
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  - Browses a news article on mobile phone. Site asks, if it should switch to the mobile version of that site. I click yes. Frontpage loads instead optimized for mobile with my news article nowhere to find. Dafuq?2
  - *learning HTML*
  *Finds a nice example for tables*
  *Scrolls down then instantly close the page*
  He is using IE8 IN 2014 😓😒2
  - The updating process on my Arch installation went banana's... Ugh... I wanted to do some coding and not fix this bullshit :(9
  - Me: Fuck there's a null pointer exception here... What was trying to happen here
  *Read comments*
  *It's written in binary... dafuq why though*
  *looks up what it says*
  *Reads output*
  "Sorry bud, if you couldn't figure this out... then no one can"
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  - Python datetime: DAFUQ!! My mind is officially melted
  Import datetime
  from datetime import datetime, timedelta
  One imports a type, the other is a module.
  GUESS WHICH? 😅🔫6
  - Spent 30 minutes searching for openVPN on my VPS to end up remembering I have it as a docker container and not installed directly on the system :\
  - WTF Did Microsoft do this time!! Visual Studio never gave me issues even on a slow ass computer, after latest update that shit now freeze A LOT! :@ :@ :@ :@4
  - I was watching a youtube video and heard someone say the words: ...sending data over an HTTP network...
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  - Just found a job listing that requires experience in deploying apps to Google Play and Apple App Store T_T8
  - The feeling when you didn't spot what the error was here:
  int x = 0;
  int y = 0;
  for ( ; y < rows; y++) {
  for ( ; x < cols; x++) {
  //Dafuq, only does one line?!
  }
  }10
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  - ...
  - well, that escalated quickly...
  today a coworker was asked if he could write a query to find customers which placed orders matching some criterias. so far so good. he write the query and put the result into a spreadsheet and gave it to the lead.
  "i need it in another format" (he did not specify any format before nor did he tell which columns he is interested in). 2 hours later the query was finished.
  then, the coworker got a call from the leader. he wants to see us both in his office.
  "okay, we need to write a personalized mail to every customer with the orders in a spreadsheet as an attatchment. we also need this on paper as not everyone reads our mail. we want to send letters. the whole process needs to be finished in half a day and we want it automated. i do not want to have one of the sales department waste 2 hours writing stuff himself".
  well, you can imagine my thoughts on that.
  the personalized text is not finished. we wasted another 3 hours thinking about how to solve this crap.
  luckily i have some projects from the past which can do this shit with some changes... but what the fucking hell was this?8
  -.
  - Really Irish Rail.... dafuq am I supposed to do with this shit...
  Express my displeasure on devRant of course... :/12
  - So today Mozilla updated Firefox just to include an incomplete downloads tab? Dafuq are they thinking 😒2
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  - I just created a users table and added everything except two important fields:
  1. FirstName
  2. LastName
  I only found out when I started working on my service T_T
  I'm sorry, I have sinned :(3
  - Eclipse and it's fuckery!
  Shows error/warning on random line. Don't know what's wrong, coz nothing is! Select all, cut and paste the selection on the same page and save again. Woof! Errors gone! Dafuq Eclipse? What sorcery is this bitch?
  - Why do I have a hard time finding a new job when senior devs are not only changing the data model, but naming keys "key" and "value"!?
  "Oh look, a SQL error."2
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  - Doesn't work
  I hate my life
  fuck this shit
  Oh I used the wrong list
  *jumps from the top of the mountain*
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  - / -_-6
  - So a recruiter from an MNC recently contacted me for Python job application. She saw my profile and resume on LinkedIn and after reading about my projects she initially thought I have a good industry experience. As soon as I cleared her misunderstanding, she went from "when can you join?" to "sorry, I think I'll have to talk to my manager" in less than 2 seconds.
  Talk about underrated jobs3
  - Psst. Hey. Eclipse. You too, Gradlew. Cmere. I have a secret to whisper in your ear:
  FUCK. YOU.
  - today, sick as fuck, working on my project, la de da
  - hey, I need some fake data for my project. Hmm I really like faker for Python
  - oh nice, on GitHub there's a port of faker for Java
  - cloned.. alright where's the JAR file ..
  - oh, maybe I need to add the folder to my project.. hmm
  - ok, added the git repo to my project..
  - in editor, typing: import other package.class
  - dafuq? Package doesn't exist?
  - can't figure how to fucking make a Jar file out of eclipse
  - ok. COMMAND LINE TIME. Fuck you eclipse! Going commando!!!!
  - oh, there's an executable here called gradlew...
  - dafuq is Gradlew... (Google, read docs)
  - (10 min later)feeling very proud of myself now
  - gradlew jar
  - good, fucking finally, a JAR file
  - import statement works, coding some more, run tests, fuck yeah.
  - test failure: Java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError:org/yaml/snakeyaml/Yaml
  FUUUUUUUUuuuuu 🤒🤒😡😡😭😭🔥🔥🔥
  Python and Django have made it so fucking easy to get shit done, I have been spoiled rotten..
  Fuck you *insert package name here* I am just going to have my tests shit random character sequences. That's all a name is anyway. Fuck...
  *PS: eclipse is damn handy for -writing- java, that I admit*5
  - Fuck you VS Code! Have to reboot my VM every four hours because that piece of shit starts glitching on the screen and freezes the entire system when I want to close it!8
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  - Spent an hour and a half debugging why binders are not working on my Asp.Net project to end up finding out that my controller was missing:
  [Route("[controller]")]
  attribute at the beginning
  Life is wonderful :)2
  - Who the f*** came up with the idea to add `com.sun.xml.internal.bind.v2.TODO`
  Thanks to a hasty ctrl-space #intellij added this … as import … dafuq
  - So the university computer science lab computers run Oracle Solaris 11.........and we not allowed to use an ide to write out Python scripts ,gonna use nano1
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  - Tests on master fail in my local dev environment but not in Jenkins. HTTPretty won't catch calls to one API but it will catch API calls to another service, and catches both in tests run on other machines, just not mine. Tests which the team validated are failing locally and I'm officially confused. Turned off VPN, too, nothing
  - A system that was composed almost entirely of copy pasted stack overflow snippets and github gists (with any licensing or author credit removed), that even went as far as to accept raw JSON via a text area.
  Just... Dafuq?
  - So I was doing random changes to get the output. Got partially correct output. Got happy. But I don't know which change is responsible. Dafuq
  - Pitching Preact for a client. They wanted us to use Dojo because they bought support for it and I was like OH HELL NO FUCK NO
  - background-position works relative to its actual size (as in if you scale the background up 2 times, 256px have a whole different position).
  like dafuq. how am i supposed to use that with pixels as units?4
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  - You know what makes no sense and sucks?
  I call it "metamedia" (whatever dafuq the genre is actually called).
  I mean these books/podcasts/movies about how someone did something. Actually more or less it's just a biography of some dude who did something somewhen, called "The <name of dude> principle". And most of them could be just a really long interview in some newspaper. But there is no money in newspapers, right? Better publish it as book and all the other platforms/things used for enjoyment before this storm of biographies started.
  Audible is full of these and I do enjoy informing myself about the success of some Elon Musk but at some point its fucken enough.:D
  - I have good knowledge frontend/backend web development but i didnt know php cause i heard so much shit about it. I finally made up my mind to learn it.
  I fucking hate php
  >>> MAMP doesnt fucking work when i installed it
  >>> After it finally works, I change the sql password. WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED TO GO TO LIKE 10 FILES AND CHANGE THE GODDAMN PASSWORD IN EACH ONE.
  >>> php doesnt work if the <?php tag isnt at the top -> this shit wasnt even mentioned
  >>> why the fuck would you use '->' for everything when a simple '.' would suffice.
  >>> useless class system (more like a pseudo class system)
  >>> foreach ($list as $item) dafuq that is not even correct english, what is wrong in "foreach ($item in $list)"
  i hate php10
  - Hi guys, I'm hoping you can help. I've looked everywhere and I've not got a clue what it is.
  I lost my back door key (5-pin pin and tumbler lock) the other day, and I can't afford to get a new one right now.
  I tried picking it earlier, and I discovered it's got a spring at the back of the plug (which I've never come across). I lined up all the pins but for some reason it's not opening, and I have a feeling it's either got an anti-pick pin or it's to do with that spring.
  Has anyone with lock experience got a clue what could be doing this? I'm at a loss.6
  - Dafuq is wrong with Android Studio, build error report is useless every time I have error in one of my files I need to run gradle assemble debug manually to know where the fuck is my error
  Like now I changed type of a property and as usual build report showed error in Databinding auto generated class instead of pointing to my fragment where the error should be3
  - Anyone else notice that there is a decent set of super dickbag senior devs that help nothing and use every meeting as a soapbox session? Dafuq? Why be so condescending and rude... For the purpose of feeling intelligent? Us lowly Dev I's don't have any say in the current processes. Fuck off douchewalls.2
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  - What does this mean? I genuinely don't understand this job title. Is he doing his sales pitch in python or something?1
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  - That font in the new Gmail theme is fucking ugly and makes me blind
  Wish we could use something else at work :\
  I'm not a fan of mail apps but I guess it is time to use one after that update....6
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  - > )8
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  - Do you think this is a stupid tech stack to create a sleep tracking app? Angular as the frontend and Wordpress rest api as backend. I need to use these for a college project...10
  - Got a file with cobol data in it.. Also got thr structure to read it, but what the fuck is COMP-3? Any idea how I can decode this into a human readable format? 🤔😓🤓
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  - Oh, how I loved KDE Plasma, but wtf is this? Alt+Tab is not working anymore for a few days now - had to change shortcut to something else. And from today, notifications does not look like Plasma notifications but exactly like in Unity. DAFUQ!
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  - Modafinil what what?!
  Ok so one of the guys at work is banging on about nootropics and coding to get into the zone..... Dafuq is he taking that for?
  And I thought a cheeky trip was enough to envision the program and become one with the code...... Not that I know.3
  - *Triggers OAuth request through browser
  Returns : success and valid tokens.
  *Another project triggers the same process and code.
  Returns : well shit nigga, I know I use the same logic as above but fuck you.
  - You build a DaFuqRepository and a DaFuqService, to use the service functionality you need to call the repo first....you do not admit it's a fuckup but makes everything more reusable...dafuq...1
  - After attempting logging into FB Messenger with every browser I have, boy was I surprised when I found out Adblock was causing it to refuse to render with no errors displayed. Why would you block Adblock from an ad-free service !?1
  - Just talked to a Java dev that develops web apps with SOAP API's about testing. Talked to him about SOAP UI ...He didn't know what SOAP UI was. Is he f*cking trolling me or just a guy with the wrong job? I mean he seriously refused to have ever heard about it. Dafuq?
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