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i 'm not ready for our first date to be over just yet .
she blushed and smiled and reached over to kiss me but then seemed to think better of it .
so i was the one who held her head and pulled her the rest of the way .
if there were any cameras around i did n't care in that moment .
though i understood her concerns , she 'd explained about how precious her privacy had become since she 'd found stardom , how the simplest thing like running out for a carton of milk had now become a monumental task .
that was something else i was going to have to take care of .
i was n't sure from what she 'd said , what kind of security detail she had on a daily basis .
i mean look how easy it had been for me to get to her and literally take her out of their hands .
on top of her own star status , being linked with me might put her even more in the spotlight , so i was gon na have to take care of that first thing .
i helped her out of the car and through the doors .
she was wearing a pair of my jeans rolled at the ankles and around the waist , but of course she 'd made it look like a fashion statement .
we made it up to her apartment with no interruptions and i was still holding her hand .
i loved the look of her place , it was open space and airy with windows all around with a view of the park and a bit of the city skyline .
it was nothing like mine , but it was n't shabby either .
i saw little touches of her here , in the bright colors and soft throw pillows that she seemed to have a fondness for .
she was back to being shy again but at lease it seemed to stem more from what i thought of her place this time .
we 'd spent the day practically locked together in every way but one , so most of her reticence had melted away somewhat .
`` i like it .
grab some stuff you 're coming back with me . ''
`` you ... i thought you said you were brining me home to take care of stuff and you 'll see me on monday ? ''
i looked down at her as she turned that little innocent face up to me .
`` i did say that baby , but i changed my mind .
i 'm not ready for us to be apart . ''
i had the fleeting thought that i may never be ready for that again , but squashed it .
`` do you need help packing ? ''
i thought i saw a bit of a smile touch the corners of her lips before she shook her head no .
`` can i at least check my messages first ? ''
`` sure . ''
she walked over to the machine and hit play as she dropped into a chair .
i walked over to the bank of windows with my hands stuffed in my pockets .
the first few messages were just business as usual , but then coming onto the end there was some guy , maybe her manager who seemed very irate that he could n't get ahold of her .
`` i thought you said you did n't have anything plan for the next little while ? ''
`` i do n't that 's just carl 's way , he likes to know where i am at all times . ''
`` hmm . ''
it sounded like a bit more than that to me , but i let it got for now .
i 'm a grown man , so that means when she 's with me this carl person could go f**k himself , because i did n't need anyone keeping tabs on me .
there was nothing else worrying on there and she headed into her bedroom to pack after offering me a drink , which i turned down .
i just wanted out of there and back home as soon as possible .
somehow i felt easier with her in my bed , behind my walls .
she came back out with an overnight bag and dressed in a pair of her own jeans and a pullover .
i took the bag and with her hand in mine headed for the door .
monday morning i had to go in early to the office , so i eased her out of my arms and went to the shower .
she was still out by the time i was dressed and ready to go so i leaned over the bed and kissed her awake .
`` hmmm . ''
she sighed into my mouth as she awakened with my tongue in hers .
i ended up sitting on the side of the bed and pulling her into my lap for a longer kiss .
truth is i hated the thought of leaving her .
the last two days had been like none i 'd ever shared and we had n't even left the house except to go to her place .
we 'd spent all day sunday lazing around in bed reading the paper , talking or making out .
i 'd already called my doctor and made the appointments adding pressure for him to rush the results which he assured me can be done .
`` i 'll see you in a couple hours princess , the car will come and get you around ten thirty , okay ? ''
i kissed her nose when she nodded against my chest and got up to leave .
i did n't look back at her there in my bed in my old ratty tee shirt , i was sure i would n't want to leave her if i did .
when it was time to send the car for her i changed my plans and instead of meeting her there i went after her myself .
she was putting on her shoes when i came through the door and when she saw me standing there , f**k me if her whole face did n't light up and she made a running leap and jumped into the arms i had opened for her .
`` hey beautiful , you missed me ? ''
she sniffed my neck and nodded before i pulled her head around for my lips to find hers .
`` we 'd better go , john promised me that if we did this early he could possibly get us the results by end of day today and i 'm afraid if we do n't i 'm gon na f**king explode . ''
i pulled her down just enough for her to feel the evidence of my need .
i had no doubts that she was clean and i was sure that i was , but somehow i wanted this , wanted us to start things off on the right foot .
i ignored the little voice in my head that told me there was an ulterior motive behind my actions .
there was no way i was thinking along those lines , no way in hell .
shiane i wondered if he was always this attentive , or if as with all things new , this would change once he got what he wanted .
will he start taking advantage of me as time went on ?
he was like no other man i 'd ever known , except for maybe one .
i 'd seen my dad treat my mom like a precious gem my whole life .
it 's where i 'd got my dream of a prince charming .
not from any storybook , but from the way i 'd seen my dad look at mom when he thought no one else was looking .
or the way she was always looking to him when things went south .
they 'd taught me to want that bond , to hold out for that and nothing less .
trace seemed to have that in him , but i 'd been burnt once and my heart was a little gun shy .
it had only been a few weeks since it was shattered after all .
but here i was with sweaty palms and weak knees over this guy that i barely knew .
the weekend had been the best one i 'd had in a long time .
in fact i have n't felt that relaxed since the last time i 'd taken a trip home .
neither of us seemed ready for the intrusion of the world just yet .
we wanted to enjoy getting to know each other without all the speculation and other nonsense that came with stardom .
downstairs there were two men in suits who looked like they 'd never smiled a day in their lives .
`` this is your security , i 'm sure you have some already for business purposes , but these two are from me .
they 'll shadow everywhere when i 'm not with you .
my eyes widened at that .
`` is that really necessary ?
i 'm not that big of a star yet i do n't think . ''
i tried laughing it off as he introduced me to the two and pulled me out the doors behind him .
`` this has nothing to do with your status , it 's for my peace of mind . ''
i started to wonder if this was something he 'd done for all the women in his past and why that should make me jealous .
he squeezed my hand and looked down at me .
`` no , you 're the first . ''
`` how did you know what i was thinking ? ''
`` i told you , the weekend was about getting to know each other , i picked up a few things . ''
he smirked as he helped me into the back of the town car .
i 'd told him of my fear of needles so he held my hand and talked to me while the doctor and the nurse did their thing , before having his taken care of .
it did n't take that long and soon we were back in the car .
`` i 'm taking you to the office for a quick tour and then it 's lunch .
we 'll go somewhere that i 'm sure we 'd be left alone , i 'm not quite ready to share us yet . ''
i rested my head on his shoulder and squeezed his hand that was still holding onto mine .
i think he must 've planned this and warned everyone in the building not to give me the star treatment because i saw a lot of interested looks from his employees , but no one said anything more than a friendly hello .
it was great .
lunch was in a private room in one of the city 's more upscale restaurants where there were more a list stars than i 'd ever seen in one place at once except maybe an awards show .
i was the one star-struck .