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she now found herself wanting more of his kisses when she should n't .
but it was n't just the kiss she wanted-she wanted all of him and not just for sex .
`` no , he 's not .
i guess he 's just trying to accept the loss , both past and present , as best he can , '' she finally replied .
kristi nodded in acknowledgement .
when megan felt she was free from any more questioning , she hurried down the hall to the break room .
thankfully , she found it empty .
after grabbing a brush from her purse , she went to the sink to grab the hair dryer .
gazing at her reflection in the mirror , she looked a bedraggled mess .
she was practically washed out except for her lips .
they were swollen and bright red from pesh 's kisses .
her finger came up to trace her bottom lip .
as memories of his kisses filled her mind , she tried desperately to think of anything else .
in the end , she had gone up to the roof to somehow save pesh , and instead , she had lost herself to him and his emotions .
chapter thirteen pesh regretfully watched megan 's retreating form .
he cursed under his breath as she disappeared into the stairwell .
what was his problem ?
the woman had been merely comforting him , and he had allowed his libido to take over .
he had promised her he would keep his distance .
regardless of the flirting and easy banter between them , he had kept things professional .
now she probably felt trapped and harassed by him .
she tried to talk to him about it , and he 'd dismissed her .
he paced around the rooftop as the rain that had soaked him to the bone began to dissipate .
his mind was a jangled mess of thoughts and emotions .
one voice argued over and over that megan had wanted him to kiss her-that the look in her eyes told the truth .
but pesh worried that in his agony he had misread the signals she may or may not have been giving .
in the end , he 'd made a terrible situation even worse by not being able to control his feelings for megan .
with a frustrated grunt , he realized he had to make things right with her .
he needed to apologize .
casting one last look out over the horizon , he then turned and started for the stairwell .
after pounding downstairs , he searched the hallway for any signs of megan .
when he spotted kristi , he was surprised not to see megan with her .
`` where 's megan ? ''
he asked .
`` oh , since we 're kinda slow tonight , i asked her to go work in the storage closet .
we 're behind on inventory and cataloguing . ''
`` i see . ''
kristi eyed him up and down before shaking her head .
`` you 're drenched . ''
`` it 's raining outside . ''
`` so i 've heard , '' she said knowingly .
`` what does that mean ? ''
he asked .
she waved her hand .
`` nothing .
why do n't you do us both a favor and go get out of those wet clothes ?
the last thing we need is you coming down with something . ''
pesh knew it was fruitless to argue with her .
instead , he tucked his tail between his legs and made his way to the doctors ' lounge .
he took a clean pair of pants and shirt out of his locker .
after he slid on a new white coat , he strode down the hall to the medicine closet .
after swiping his key card , he entered the room .
when he closed the door behind him , megan turned around , gazing expectantly at him .
now that he was in front of her , he did n't know exactly what to say .
he had been on an emotional overload on the roof , and things had escalated far too quickly .
`` look , i just want to say how very sorry i am about kissing you . ''
`` well i 'm not , '' she replied matter-of-factly .
pesh 's neck snapped back in shock .
her response was n't what he was expecting at all .
he had imagined she might be relieved or even embarrassed , but he had n't imagined that she would be unregretful .
he cleared his throat .
`` regardless , i should n't have done it .
i was in an emotionally vulnerable position , and you were merely trying to comfort me .
nothing more . ''
his words were more for his own good than hers .
she shook her head .
`` just because i was comforting you , does n't mean i did n't want you to kiss me .
that i still do n't want to kiss you again . ''
his brows furrowed in confusion .
`` but you- '' `` pesh , i 've wanted you since the night of noah 's baptism .
but you shot me down then , and you still do . ''
although his heart wanted to soar at her admission of wanting him , the reality of her words caused his chest to clench instead .
`` sexually .
you only want me sexually . ''
`` yes . ''
he should have been flattered that a young , sexy woman like megan desired him .
but he was n't .
half of the women in the hospital would be willing for him to drag them to an empty patient 's room for a quick and dirty screw .
but that 's not who he was .
he had never been that way with women , and he did n't see how it could be possible to change .
all he wanted was for her to really see him and how good he could be for her .
how good they would be for each other .
he thought that was what she was feeling in the moments before and after he kissed her .
but now it seemed it was once again only lust .
although it was probably pointless , he could n't help putting everything out there once again .
`` but when we were up on the roof , there was n't a moment where you wanted more from me than just sex ? ''
he licked his lips and took a step toward her .
`` just a second where you could imagine your life with me in it ? ''
megan stared at him , her expression contemplative .
for a brief moment , pesh thought by her hesitation that she had changed her mind about him .
but then she shook her head .
`` how many times are you going to make me hurt you with this ?
you 're too good for me , pesh .
we both know that .
i 'll remind you again of some of the reasons i 'm not the one for you .
i 'm twenty-five , and you 're thirty-seven .
you want a wife , and i 'm not ready to be married . ''
her words cut into his chest the same as if she had taken a sharp blade to him .
she may have had to repeat herself this time , but he realized the finality of her words .
and then an idea hit him so hard that he shuddered-a true light bulb moment and epiphany .