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[Keyword: Greeting] BiffNPC: Finally! The cavalry has arrived! Thank God, we're saved! You're here to save us, right?... Or... Did <em>she</em> give you some special orders? Larry: We're here to shave you, man! BiffNPC: Larry! Happy to see you! You mean to... um, save me? I'm... sorry we had to leave you back there in Diamond Red. Larry: No problemo. Guys, anybody got a razor? Larry_Clean: We're coming for you, man! Not leaving you behind like you did to me. BiffNPC: Larry! Happy to see you! I'm... sorry about that. Smiley: Señor Apscott! It is so good to see that you are well. BiffNPC: Smiley! Where have you been?! BiffNPC: It is a long story, my friend. But you will draw your last breath before you hear it from me. [Keyword: Greeting] BiffNPC: There is no time to talk! They are incoming! Mayday, mayday! DO SOMETHING! [Keyword: Redirect] BiffNPC: You guys... You're not here to eliminate us, right?! [Keyword: Of course not!] Nails: Don't put ideas in my head. Reaper: If we had, you would already be dead. Shadow: If we had, you'd never have seen us coming. BiffNPC: Sorry... I guess I am getting a little paranoid after all I've learned about <em>her machinations</em> with <em>Spike</em>. [Keyword: Why would you think that?] Sidney: If that was our mission, it would have been pointless. I cannot help but notice that the Legion is already doing a marvelous job on that account. DrQ: Such a suggestion defies all logic. Perhaps you are in a delusional state? Mouse: Is someone trying to kill you? I mean, besides those Legion guys, of course. BiffNPC: I know too much already. I know all about <em>her machinations</em> with <em>Spike</em>! [Keyword: What machinations?] BiffNPC: Ever wondered why this <em>"Legion"</em> is all over the valley? A couple of years ago this country wasn't all sunshine and roses, but at least the civil war was over and things were getting better. PierreMerc: Is that so? I have lived here my entire life and I have not seen anything get better. Flay: Nothing got better. Only a buckhead foreigner would suggest such a thing. BiffNPC: Then people got greedy. They wanted the <em>diamond mines</em> for themselves, that's why <em>she</em> needed chaos. And boom, now these bandits are everywhere... [Keyword: Spike?] BiffNPC: Major <em>Spike Scallion</em>, known around here as <em>the Major</em>. Len: Spike is the Major? You gotta be kidding me. Come on, Biff... Spike is a good man! Gus: You telling me Spike's gone rogue? You better be dang sure about this, Apscott! Fox: Spike is that creepy Major guy? Well, I guess that explains why he's never called. BiffNPC: I don't know what happened to him in North Korea, but he's not the man I once knew. <em>She</em> hired him to put together this <em>Legion</em> outfit and he completely lost his mind. [Keyword: Who is “she”?] BiffNPC: <em>Corazon Santiago</em> from Adonis Corporation! My employer... and I'm guessing yours as well. Buns: As a matter of fact, she did hire us. Scope: Spot on, love. You're sharp as a tack I see. BiffNPC: They paid Spike to create the <em>Legion</em> and take the mines so they could exploit them without any government interference. But then <em>Spike</em> stopped cooperating and Corazon had to hire us <em>mercs</em> to clean up the mess. Red: I'd make a note of that in my "List of Women Who Are Up Ta Nae Good" except I cannae, because my LIST BE ALREADY FULL! Magic: Sounds to me like she got all kinds of plates spinning. [Keyword: Adonis created the Legion?!] BiffNPC: Adonis only provided the money and the mission. <em>Spike</em> created it for them, but then he decided to work for himself or something. I have this creepy feeling he just enjoys terrorizing people who get in his way. [Keyword: What is your role in all this?] BiffNPC: <em>Corazon</em> hired us to get the mines for her. She told us they were in the hands of those Legion bandits. Barry: She gave to us very same story. Grizzly: Sounds familiar. Then what happened? Ice: Yeah, she gave us the same 411. BiffNPC: Our first target was <em>Diamond Red</em>, but when we attacked we found it was still held by Grand Chien soldiers! We're probably war criminals by now... How could we have known? Raven: Gee, I don't know, Biff. Maybe you could have asked someone? Tex: Sounds to me like someone set you up the bomb! Fauda: Scouting, observation, and intelligence gathering. Even a novice commander knows this. Have you no military training at all? BiffNPC: Well, I... Um, no. BiffNPC: Anyway, that's how I got this cursed <em>green diamond</em>... And now <em>Spike</em> wants to kill me for it! Steroid: Then you must kill him for it first! Fidel: Fidel understand. Come. We kill him together. I let you pick which eyeball you want. Is only right. BiffNPC: ...Wait. Did you hear that?! Not again! Mayday! I mean, I request immediate combat support! Please... [Keyword: Show us the green diamond] BiffNPC: No! We found it! It is ours! Ours!... Thor: Wow... Biff, I don't mean to alarm you, but your chakra is twisted up like a pretzel. Scully: Easy there, mate. We just wanted to take a gander. Grunty: It seems like it is very... precious to you. BiffNPC: I mean... This is not the time. The goddamn Legion could attack any moment! Spike wants it for himself, and he... he said he will kill me and take it, whether I give it to him or not. [Keyword: Time to face the Legion!] BiffNPC: Oh no, no, no!... Mayday! Do something!... |