Geriatric hysteria, helmed by a man who must've been dozing in his rocking chair. Producer Irwin Allen, at this point in his career willing to try anything--even rehashing scenes from his hit "The Poseidon Adventure"--sadly hits an all-time low. Hilariously advertised as a love story between Paul Newman and Jacqueline Bisset, this low-brow disaster movie really concerns an erupting volcano and the South Pacific island resort in its path. The scenarists can't be bothered with too much lovemaking, for their real purpose is to boil down the characters in molten lava. Deadly and depressing--not unintentionally funny or campy (no such luck); the poor actors on-screen (including a few "Poseidon" alumni) are being humiliated, and worse they don't even seem aware of it. Allen proves himself to be the '80s equivalent of Ed Wood, with this entry usurping even "The Swarm" to become his All-Time Champ of Cinema Sludge.