Is the Dice-Man funny? No.<br /><br />Funny enough to warrant an in-concert movie? Definitely not.<br /><br />And this is the movie that proves it.<br /><br />"Dice Rules" is one of the absolute lowest points in American motion pictures since they decided to let Burgess Meredith do a nude scene in "Such Good Friends". But at least THAT was funny.<br /><br />Andrew "Dice" Clay has been called a lot of things in his life, I'm sure, but when he was called "a comedian", I'm also sure that was said with condescending laughter, snickers and Bronx cheers aplenty.<br /><br />Nothing he says here is funny, nothing he does here is funny, and the only debatable part of this whole self-destructive exercise was watching him get beaten up and verbally abused by every person he comes across in that little opening film he did before the concert starts.<br /><br />He overcame though, darn it.<br /><br />And the material (if that's what you can call it) is basically picking on the handicapped, the elderly, birds (yeah, you heard me), sexual practices, homosexuals and women. Oh, those poor women. What he says about women here should get him 20 to life for verbal rape.<br /><br />The fact that an entire auditorium full of people (Madison Square Garden!) cheered and laughed with him. This is a sick, SICK world we live in.<br /><br />Look, similar material has been done by the likes of Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and even Sam Kinison but they all had a grace, they knew the moves as well as the music. Dice is tone deaf. He has no grace, no talent and not one respectful bone in his big, lumbering body. This entire film smacks of desperation. If you have the misfortune to watch it, you'll no doubt agree.<br /><br />Don't roll this "Dice"; it'll come up snake eyes.<br /><br />No stars, none whatsoever. If they ever decide to do the reprogramming like they did in "A Clockwork Orange", I elect Clay.<br /><br />Now THAT would be something I'd pay to see.