That's right, this isn't a slasher film. No amount of positive thinking or wishing upon falling stars can turn it into one either. If you watch this, you should prepare yourself for the simple fact that nobody dies in this movie.<br /><br />You might ask, "If not a slasher film, what is this?" As best as I could tell it was a feel good love story about a guy and a girl who go into the woods and are attacked by hillbillies. Also, the hillbillies rape the girl.<br /><br />I know what you're thinking: What the hell?! Well, that's what I thought as well, but that is the premise. I'm going to go into more detail as this movie is so bad that it needs to be exposed to the cleansing light of day. Let me start with the characters.<br /><br />Jenny: She is barely a character. She receives just about no character development. As she is definitely the star of this movie, this is a major flaw. She is raped in the woods. This leads to her learn some sort of empowering life lesson. Believe me, it doesn't make anymore sense in the movie than it sounds like it does.<br /><br />Robert: He is Jenny's friend. He clearly has the hots for Jenny. He is very blatant in his attempts to put the moves on her even though she has a boyfriend. This movie is more than just a story of backwoods rapists. This is one man's quest to escape the friend zone. Does he succeed? Read on.<br /><br />Marshall: He is a douche. There really is no other way to put it. He has a legitimate gripe about Robert messing with his girl, but he handles the situation stupidly. Option A, he could be cool and let the situation fix itself. (Jenny sees Robert as a friend, and sooner or later Robert would have figured that out.) Option B, he could give Robert the beating he so rightfully deserved. (Jenny probably wouldn't have liked that, but he could have played it off as his passion for her.) However, he goes with option C. He is a jerk to Robert. He is a jerk to Jenny. He is a jerk to everyone. This tactic isn't all that effective. You see this is in fact a seventies hippie film with a lot of vague philosophical themes. Marshall is essentially written as the frat boy douche. He is shallow and stupid. He doesn't get Jenny or her idiotic pseudo-intellectual nonsense.<br /><br />Michael: He is an old friend of Robert and Jenny's. This is Robert Englund's character. He isn't in the movie for very long. In fact, he doesn't show up until the movie is almost over. However, I have to think that Englund's participation in this joke of a movie is what caused it to be distributed as a horror film. This character is essentially a harmless, kindhearted hermit who has dropped out of society for a simpler life in a pristine wilderness. You know, a loser.<br /><br />Really tall guy: This guy is little more than an extra. I don't even know his name, but I think he bares mentioning. Maybe it was an accident, but scenes that feature him are shot so that he looks ten foot tall.<br /><br />Shop Keeper: This is another very small character, but I would like to mention him for two reasons. One, he is basically that old guy in horror movies that warns people not to go into the woods. (This movie can't seem to decide whether it wants to be a horror film or not.) Two, the scene with him practicing some sort of routine in the empty room in the back of his store is the scariest that this movie gets.<br /><br />The Rapists: These are generic hillbilly rapists. It isn't clear who they are or what they are doing in the woods. Evidently, they were just wandering around hoping to stumble upon a couple to terrorize.<br /><br />If that sounds like a group of characters you can really get interested in, you are probably not that smart. Anyway, the plot goes like this. Jenny and her boyfriend have a fight about where or not her friend Michael is a loser. (He is.) Marshall tells Jenny that she and Robert should go to the woods and see Michael if she thinks he is so great. Then he tells everyone to leave his place. He says all this really petulantly. (Remember, he is a douche.) Jenny and Robert decide to go. Marshall and his friends (including giganto the ten foot man) follow them and try to stop them. It doesn't work.<br /><br />The creepy old man in the store tells the couple not to go to the mountain because bad things happen there. They decide not to listen. When they arrive, they find that they're friend isn't there. (Isn't that always the way with hermits upon whom you drop in unannounced.) They go skinny dipping. (Yeah for Robert.) Hillbillies spy on them. (Significantly less yeah.) Later that night the hillbillies attack an rape Jenny. One of the hillbillies can't get it up. The hillbillies leave.<br /><br />The next day, Michael arrives. He spouts some nonsense at Jenny. Robert sees the Hillbillies. He attacks them. Nobody dies in the fight. The hillbillies leave. Jenny reads a poem in a book she finds in Michael's place. It inspires her. She and Robert walk happily off into the sunset arm in arm.<br /><br />That ending just doesn't fit does it? Anyway, that's all there is. There is no prologue, no apology. This film wasn't a horror movie. It was a sappy film about vague and sometimes downright stupid themes. Also, the film is permeated with what has to be the worst folk singing ever.<br /><br />If you haven't seen this movie, don't bother.