Don't get the pun in my summary? Then this cheap British horror flick might be for you. If you do not want spoilers, you may read some of the positive comments a few stoners already have posted here. Otherwise:<br /><br />*** ******** ************ SPOILERS ************* *********<br /><br />Want something you can barely see, even when you use the undark special feature on your DVD remote? How about something that starts and finishes with unintelligible chanting by kids' ghosts? Want to see an archaeologist who's been poking around in an abandoned building "for months," but still has no idea of its floor plan? Wanna see this same chick hear her boss say the site has been quarantined and slated for immediate demolition due to an infestation of rats and plague germs (not all that unusual in many world cities), prompting her to cut through miles of police tape in the dead of night for a few more minutes of snooping? How about a security guard who gets knocked out early on, but pops up running like Jack Bauer at the last minute? Or four random hoods jabbering incomprehensible Brit slang implausibly locking themselves into this same abandoned building with "Lara Croft." And how often can you see a caper featuring three studs tooling around in a stolen car in the city center with a chick NINE MONTHS PREGNANT? Or getting into constant deadly fist fights with each other to claim credit for her pregnancy? With the expectant gal suddenly responding to her heebie-jeebies by tearing off ALL her clothes and hopping into a cement vat of cold water in front of these guys, where she soon "delivers" about five gallons of slugs? Or everyone ignoring a collage of eight-foot ghosts and decaying child ghosties (and if the characters cannot see these apparitions, why bother to show them to us?)? And most telling of all, if you appreciate a filmmaker who shows you a clock stuck on 11:59 (p.m.) every ten minutes to remind you that nothing you're watching is REALLY happening, and has the audacity to think he can throw in 30 seconds of quick-cuts action just before closing credits to explain what ACTUALLY went on according to a script which must have had more scribbled afterthoughts than typed original entries, then SICK HOUSE probably is up your dark alley.