Anurag Kashyap’s critically acclaimed ‘Black Friday’, raised my expectations from No Smoking, expecting it to be a decent drama carrying a strong message against smoking. But, all of the pointless nonsense hurled at you scene after scene in the name of creativity actually drives you beyond the threshold of tolerance. For the eternal length of this apology of a film, cutie Ayesha Takia was the only possible distraction.<br /><br />K, yes you read it right, it’s a single alphabet name (John Abraham) is a successful, self-obsessed man who just can’t seem to live life without lighting up a cigarette. Much to the chagrin of his wife who also doubles up as his secret secretary, Anjali (Takia) who tries to rid him off the habit, the obsession never seems to leave K. Enter, his friends who have quit the butt, introduce him to a certain ‘Prayogshala’ with guaranteed results.<br /><br />Well, does our hero budge? Not until his wife leaves him compelling K to visit the ‘Prayogshala’ in run down metal shacks led by Shri Shri Prakash Guru Ghantal Baba Bangali Sealdah Wale (Paresh Rawal) who seems to wield magical influence on his subjects which sometimes borderline barbarism. Then, there is something called the ‘Cigarette Shastra’ that the subject is supposed to read, and then sign a contract! <br /><br />Baba’s contract comes with no escape! Offenders are magically tracked even if they were to escape to Africa or at times confined in Siberia! Absurdities don’t just end there. The ‘Prayogshala’ has a place for harvested souls, a call centre of burqua clad women, ways to chop fingers off offenders who touch cigarettes again. It’s just another thing that they manage to reattach them too, when they get a new victim to sign up for the rehab.<br /><br />Probably, this movie in all its weirdness may make sense to self styled intellectuals, but for those looking for some semblance of sense, just Keep Out! Maybe the movie had noble intentions to ward people from smoke. Well, for the headache you get after watching this, you may actually want to puff off a whole packet. The non-smoker too may want to try out the stuff, if not for anything but to disapprove the stuff the Baba does!