Kill Bill is a fraud. Terrible, terrible movie! SPOILERS<br /><br />Spoilers within this post. Enter at your own risk!<br /><br />I just got back from the noon showing of Kill Bill in which the theater was half full (for a noon showing, that is huge. The theater is one of the bigger ones at the Queensway in Toronto, so it will do well this weekend). What I witnessed in that 100 minutes in the theater can only be described as Tarantino's flipping of the bird to all of us as he looks in the mirror and congratulates himself on being the smartest man in the world. Straight up, Kill Bill is one of the biggest disappointments I have seen in my life. After masterpieces like Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction and other greats like True Romance, you would think that Kill Bill would live up to those lofty expectations bestowed upon it by virtue and name recognition alone. But not only has Tarantino told us all to **** off, he he has done it while laughing in our faces.<br /><br />Kill Bill has all of Tarantino's quirky and weird trademarks in it. And it contains strange techniques that at first you think is simply an homage to a film genre. But in reality, what QT did here was get too cute and at the expense of artistic integrity. What we are left with is more Matrix style garbage, a 10 minute anime introduction to Lucy Lui's character, black and white photography for no reason and the bleeping out of the bride's name just because he can. All of this is looked at as being brilliant by the critics and those in similar circles because Tarantino has a free pass right now. His films have enamoured critics for 10 years now and this one is no different even though it is a shadow of the opulence that we are used to from him. To sum it up, this film is all style and has no substance. The style is there, but for what purpose? Why does he choose to do the things that he does? Is it just because he can? Or is it because he thinks he is so much more clever than the rest of us? You guys thought Matrix Reloaded was pretentious, this film might as well be the Architect meets Socrates meets Locke, meets Rouseau meets Japanese smart guy meets Marx. That is how it comes across. Pretentious doesn't even begin to describe it. There is even a blatant rip off of the burly brawl in this film right down to beings jumping up a flight of steps to come and meet the heroine.<br /><br />I knew I was in trouble five minutes into the film when it just didn't feel right. You know how in Pulp you just knew you were in for something special? You just felt it with the dialogue, the acting, the soundtrack and everything that encompassed the film. Well Kill Bill has the opposite feel to it. None of that magic is present and it is just a bunch of people getting sliced and diced and maimed. There is no snappy dialogue and that is what QT is good at. Tarantino is a lyrical genius and he abandons that here and goes Wachowski Brothers on us and it just doesn't work.<br /><br />I despised this film with every fibre of my body and it left me in a p***ed off and foul mood. Shame on you QT. Shame on you for starting to believe everything that was said about you. Now wipe that stupid smile off your face and go clean Harvey's shoes and polish his golf clubs. There is a lot of sychophantic baloney going on here and I thought you were bigger than that.<br /><br />F or a 1 out of 10.