JOAN CRAWFORD returned to MGM for TORCH SONG after a decade of other films at other studios, in a role that paints her character as tough-as-nails--in fact, so tough that you expect her to take out a gun at any moment and shoot anyone who disagrees with her bossy persona. Not only is she tough, but the script is trite from beginning to end and the whole film is garishly lit in bright Technicolor to show off Joan's wardrobe and a neat pair of legs. It all seems like a warm-up for JOHNNY GUITAR in lush settings rather than a saloon.<br /><br />That she can't sing is obvious because it's immediately apparent that a professional singer is doing the songs (India Adams). And despite her early days as a hoofer doing the Charleston and other dances during her flaming youth, it's also easy to see that dancing is not her strong point. So she seizes the bitchy role of a dame who treats a blind pianist with such scorn that even his dog growls every time she comes near him.<br /><br />An appalling blackface number is enough to gag on (using a leftover track from a Cyd Charisse film that never made the final cut), and her confrontations with MICHAEL WILDING (the blind pianist), GIG YOUNG (a drunken playboy, what else?), HARRY MORGAN (a stage manager/agent) and MARJORIE RAMBEAU as her plain speaking mother, are all strictly theatrical, harsh and unconvincing.<br /><br />One thing I'll say--she does "haughty" and "overbearing" so well, that it's hard to remember that in real life she was so afraid of further humiliation by the cast and crew of HUSH...HUSH, SWEET CHARLOTTE, that she left the film and feigned illness to get out of playing the role of Cousin Miriam. She also pleaded illness when she was afraid to attend the Academy Awards--afraid she might lose--but put her make-up on for the cameras when the radio announcement came that she won.<br /><br />Nobody looks good in this one--but speaking of Academy Awards, MARJORIE RAMBEAU got nominated for her mother role here. She's not bad, but it must have been a dreary year for Best Supporting Actresses.<br /><br />This one belongs near the bottom of Joan's career and surely any sane person would want to miss it--leaving it entirely to Crawford's ardent die-hard fans who think this is high camp.<br /><br />Particularly unbelievable and jarring is the ending, which has Crawford and Wilding realizing that they love each other after all the harsh words and deeds are over!! Total rubbish.