I went to this picture with the hope that -- if nothing else -- watching John Malkovich play a highly troubled delusional queen with a genius for manipulation and an obscene fashion sense would be enough to keep me entertained for an hour and change. It wasn't.<br /><br />The flick's barely worth analyzing; it's simply a mess, handled so poorly that Malkovich's moments of comic mastery are lost in a sea of poorly executed photography, tepid writing and haphazard form. While director/prod Brian Cook was one of Kubrick's assistant directors we see that little to no talent ever rubbed off - things get so bad that one clings to the often forced and clumsy musical/visual homage's to the genius' work to at least quell that nagging voice that won't stop whispering "you spent eleven dollars on this...you spend eleven dollars on this..."<br /><br />To say nothing about the quality of acting, photography, writing, form, pace, etc., one can credit Color Me Kubrick as a charming premise, but one gone sodden and awry with mediocre film-making.