I've never written an IMDb review before, but at the insistence of director John Stimpson I will tell the world my feelings.<br /><br />This is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. Stimpson's lack of choices make for a confused genre film that doesn't know if it wants to be a murder mystery, ghost story or horror film. Combining these three fields weigh the film down causing it to stumble over its own shoddy progression.<br /><br />The acting is undeniably sophomoric even from the veterans that populate the screen. They careen through the film as if making a TV movie of the week. The frequent chuckles I heard from the surrounding audience makes me feel as if I'm not alone in my thinking. There is way to much running through the woods screaming. At one point I was hoping Robert Stack would emerge and ask for any information to the where-abouts of Lucy Keyes.<br /><br />The direction is stilted and stiff. The use of hand held is meant to loosen up and flow with the characters, but feels instead like a contrived way of convincing the audience that the film is tense. Stimpson's film feels like oh so many movies I've watched by 15 year-olds, self- important and lackluster. <br /><br />The script is amateur in every way; from the Cray paper thin plot to the use of swear words. Robert Towne spoke of his film the Last Detail's use of vulgarity as a substitute for action. Here, Lucy Keyes uses swearing as a substitute for naturalism. Stimpson believes that if the parents cut loose and let an F-Bomb fly they'll be more human and believable. Instead, each curse reminds me that I'm watching the most pedestrian of film-making.<br /><br />As something that wants to be a ghost story, horror film and murder mystery the film lacks any scares other than cheap "jump" scares. The lack of atmosphere in the supposed tense portions of the film makes for a laughable movie. It also diffuses the overall tone making the film feel muddled and unfocused. How anyone could find this film scary is beyond my understanding. The Nickelodeon television series Are You Afraid of The Dark is much scarier and has no use for severed pigs heads.<br /><br />Technically the film is just above competent. The photography is nothing special, I believe this is because Stimpson made no choices in preproduction so as to color correct it later. This leaves the photographic images flat and undynamic. Nighttime is blue, daytime warm. The editing is uninspired. Its mostly an offender of the editor's "band-aid" using dissolves and fades to black in an over abundance. The crude use of these fades to black feels more like an area for a commercial break, unfortunately none came. I could've used even the most terrible of commercials to break my boredom with this film.<br /><br />What does one do with a film like this? Television? I wouldn't force this on even the most unassuming Lifetime Television watcher. The castration of dignity Lifetime would do to a film like this may be fitting, but even that audience would be pained watching this film. DVD? Maybe, but what's the point? Lucy Keyes should prepare for a long shelf life.