Because I'm about to tell you you've been had, like someone swindled by a two-bit fortune-teller.<br /><br />Before I explain why, let me start by saying that it did not bother me that this film didn't resolve itself. I've watched some pretty challenging and experimental films that leave a LOT hanging, and I love them! Try El Topo sometime. There are more mainstream ones too like Naked Lunch, or Brazil. These films do not have nice tidy plot lines where everything makes sense -- they are still brilliant films.<br /><br />The difference in the case of "La Moustache" is that while this film also happens to lack nice tidy plot lines, the film-makers seemed to think that that, all by itself, makes this film brilliant too.<br /><br />I have never before seen a film that was so elitist, so vapid, and so disrespectful of its audience in assuming it is more clever than they are. The really sad thing is that, judging from reviews here, and even many professional reviews, the film succeeded in pulling the wool over many peoples' eyes.<br /><br />Who the hell am I to say these things? Well I watched this film with a professional artist, and man with a PhD in comparative literature (who did extensive work in film studies). And you can probably tell from my writing, I'm no dummy either.<br /><br />And the three of us were in total agreement: This film is like an inside joke whose punch line doesn't make sense, and yet everyone, maybe for fear of appearing not to "get it" starts nodding and laughing nervously.<br /><br />Why is everyone doing this? Because the punch line SEEMS like it should make sense. We want it to make sense. There are all kinds of symbols and portentous happenings that are vaguely related to one another in some way or another -- like tarot cards sitting on the table. Stare at them long enough, and squint, and suddenly you can see "the answer".<br /><br />But your subconscious is really just inventing whatever story it likes, and omitting any details that didn't fit. The movie is not smarter than you are. It is a bunch of seemingly "deep" events that strut around like a Chinese emperor in his newest outfit. (Psst, he's naked!)<br /><br />As a film maker, if you're going to make a film that doesn't tie things together neatly, then you need to realize you have an obligation to make your film about SOMETHING more meaningful than the incongruous events you are showing on the screen.<br /><br />Naked lunch was about the visions of a writer who is losing his mind. Brazil was about how dreams are powerful enough to transcend even a post-apocalyptic nightmare of a future.<br /><br />This film is not about ANYTHING, except how you can make your audience follow a carrot on the end of a string, just by editing together a lot of scenes with great acting, great direction, and high production values that don't actually make any sense.<br /><br />It's apparently what happens when you take a neat starting idea (a man shaves off his mustache, and everyone seems not to notice, then they claim he never had one), and then you become more interested in making yourself look clever than in actually telling a story that bears some relevance on our lives.<br /><br />Very, very sad, or the French would say: Pathétique.