This movie starts out promising - a professor whose career and personal life are driven by his fascination with the hedonistic side of American sexuality confronts the one thing that will put an end to his pursuits: he's getting old. Unfortunately, once the meat of the story gets going, it becomes a puppet show of superficial characters prancing out the whims of the screenwriter and director. Nothing about this movie is authentic, and as a result it's pretty difficult to pay much attention to the intended themes. A 112 minute close-up of Ben Kingsley's wrinkled face would say more about mortality and the human condition, and would say it more sincerely for that matter, not to mention more entertainingly.<br /><br />The characters are eggshell thin, and mostly we have to believe what we are told about them by their screen-mates, because their own behavior makes little sense. David Kapesh is a playboy? Really? Maybe he's been charming in every other moment of his life, but during the time he spends with Consuela, and unfortunately with us, he's a bumbling jackass. His hear-to-hearts with his buddy George suggest he's incredibly insecure in the presence of a beautiful young woman, and every single encounter he has with Consuela confirms that. Is this the first time he's dated one of his students? No, says the film's back story, he's a playboy, we swear he's a playboy. Just not since he started looking like a late-career Ben Kingsley and started acting like an @$$hole I guess.<br /><br />So let's just give this movie the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is and always has been a playboy  we're just not catching him on his good days. What is his special attraction to Consuela? Okay so she's young, educated, and beautiful. The first two attributes should apply to a good portion of the women he's been dating  his students, that is  and as for the third, if he's the playboy we're meant to believe he is, this should be nothing new either. I'm not saying a lady's man can't be struck dumb now and again, but we've got to have some since of why that would be the case. Instead we're just asked to accept it. <br /><br />Consuela meanwhile leaves us even less in the way of authenticity and depth. First of all, that accent is sexy, don't get me wrong, but are we really supposed to believe that a well-educated 24 year-old who's been in the U.S. since she was 11 still talks like that? Her family background suggests she probably didn't spend the last decade living in a ghetto, the only excuse she would have for not speaking standard American English by now.<br /><br />And why is she in love with David? He's not particularly witty, especially for a professor, and he does really annoying things like show up uninvited to spy on her while she's out with her brother and then cover it with a lame excuse. Is it because he's cultured? I have a feeling that a beautiful, smart woman like her could find a comparably sophisticated man who's within three decades of her age and who doesn't act like a total creep living in NEW YORK CITY. In fact she probably wouldn't even have to leave campus. The only reason she could possibly want him is his status, and we're meant to believe there's more to her than that. Otherwise why do we care about her? Why does David care about her? Why does she act like she wants something meaningful from him when he clearly is willing to give her a nice sexy superficial relationship with all the trimmings of a celebrity academic's lifestyle?<br /><br />I could go on about the various other terrible aspects of this movie but this review is getting long and I'm tired of thinking about it. Oh wait there's one more thing that I just can't let go without mentioning: Consuela has a breast removed and not a single family member or friend is there? Why not? They must have all stayed at home when they realized how touching it would be for her to wake up from a mastectomy to find no one there to console her but a disgusting ex-boyfriend. Just one more slap in the face in a long line of scenes that insult our intelligence and artistic sensibilities alike.