I cannot imagine Woody Allen creating a film worse than September. Never has a film been more stagy - Allen must have intended that feeling, but only God knows why. The direction is poor in every way. The dialogue is God awful, often laughable, and the acting is just as bad. Mia Farrow and Dianne Wiest turn in what must be their worst performances. Sam Waterston is ineffective. The two parents (whose names I cannot even recall) seem like their in a different movie - a Woody Allen film. Their delivery is wry and often good, at least it would be if it belonged here. None of the characters ever ring true - never.<br /><br />What's really sad is that there is a good story underneath this terrible train wreck of a film. Lane's situation and her relationship with the other characters could have been fascinating. Unfortunately, the events of the past are introduced is such a poor way, the same way a really bad play would do it, that they never really seem important. Allen wanted desperately to make a Bergmaesque chamber piece, but Bergman is smart enough to have the outside world exist in his similar films, Persona, for instance.<br /><br />If you are an Allen fan, then this one is worth seeing - an artist's bad work is nearly as important as his great work. Just be prepared for something utterly awful - at least it's only 82 minutes long. 4/10