Low-budget Porchlight Studios regulars Neil Kinsella and Peter Beckwith both worked on "Trapped: Buried Alive," in which a condo is buried by an avalanche caused by an evil corporate developer who attempts to stymie rescue efforts to cover up his wrongdoing.<br /><br />By replacing snow with dirt, they coughed up "Landslide," in which a condo is buried by a landslide caused by an evil corporate developer who attempts to stymie rescue efforts to cover up his wrongdoing.<br /><br />In both movies, a dysfunctional family is made whole again by the ordeal, a new life is brought into the world, dark secrets are revealed, blah blah bling bling blah. Some details change, but otherwise Porchlight's disaster movies might as well be rolled off an assembly line. (It's telling that "Landslide" is currently available on DVD under the title "Buried Alive." Why they didn't just call it "Trapped: Buried Alive 2" is beyond me.) The titular disaster strikes early in the picture; the effects are moderately snappy for a no-budget video, but never once achieve realism. In fact, watching what appears to be a mudflow and duststorm chase two bikers through the trees--trees that aren't knocked over by the slide--will be the comedy highlight of the picture.<br /><br />After that, it's stumbling around in dirt and wrecked sets. Some rattlesnakes slither around for twenty minutes without getting out of position, and a firefighter torches and blows up a car for...well, for SOME reason, but aside from that, everyone trapped waits to be rescued, engaging in long stretches of soap-opera dialog about life, and "funny" bits that will make you wince.<br /><br />Meanwhile, outside, the evil corporate developer does his best imitation of Robert Wagner from "The Concorde--Airport '79" doing HIS best imitation of Snidley Whiplash, preparing to set off another slide to bury everyone who knows his guilt.<br /><br />...Well, except that's not true. Several people safe aboveground know what he's done, and he's VERY aware of this because they keep telling him that they know (*cough*). He ignores them but remains determined to go through with his evil plan, because, you know--he's eeeeeeeeeeevil.<br /><br />He gives a little speech near the "climax" about how he'll tell everyone he "did the best he could with the information he was given," and how he'll discredit one (of many) witness to his crimes by portraying her as "a grieving widow driven insane by her loss." When it hits you that this is supposed to represent George W. Bush and Cindy Sheehan, you may burst into laughter or vomit on the carpet, but you won't be admiring the writer's talent, regardless of your politics.<br /><br />And when everyone's standing around running their yaps while a character they supposedly all care about lies suffering from snakebite--EVEN WHEN AN AMBULANCE IS WAITING TO TAKE HIM AWAY FOR TREATMENT--well...shoot. I'm running out of ways to say this movie stinks.<br /><br />The two characters involved in the "pregnancy" subplot might as well be edited in from another movie. One of them (literally) runs into the hero at the beginning, and then they're isolated for the rest of the picture. Their rescue attempt is even left off-screen.<br /><br />MST3K fans might recognize Peter Beckwith's name from "Time Chasers." Since then, he has produced a string of derivative embarrassments including "Radical Jack," "Avalanche Run," "Lightning: Fire From The Sky," "Psyclops," "Frozen Impact," "Arachnia," "Killer Flood," "Ice Queen," the aforementioned "Trapped: Buried Alive," and this mess.<br /><br />Someone has to sit him down and tell him to stop.