One of the first lessons of movie-watching; never waste time on a movie where the lead actor is also a producer. All too often, such films end up a someone's vehicle for themself, and that's exactly what this movie is. It's an even worse situation where the actor/producer is a very bad actor, which is what Vin Diesel is.<br /><br />The problems start from the very outset of the film. There's a back story here that goes beyond it's predecessor, "Pitch Black." Things are talked about that the viewer has no clue to. Even the contrived use of a narration at the beginning of the film and the tried-and-failed "let's hear what's going on in the character's head" convenience (a la "Dune: The Disaster") can't straighten things out. The thoughts in Vin Diesel's head, it seems, ring as hollow as his performance. Even to use the word "performance" seems false.<br /><br />It seems that a good deal of thought went into finding dramatic ways for Riddick to remove his goggles. From the side, the back, the front... those goggles are so important that a prison guard at one point tells Riddick that he's going to keep them after Riddick dies. Who really cares? Jeez, spend the $10 and go buy a pair of swim goggles at Target like everyone else!<br /><br />This is, as far as I could figure out, supposed to be an action film. That makes it especially sad that the action sequences, particularly the fights, are shot in such a choppy, flash-flash-flash manner that one can't see what's going on. I suspect that the director had a bunch of poorly choreographed, clunky sequences and had them edited for highlights, resulting in scenes that look more like a series of still photographs than a film.<br /><br />The script in this film is unbelievably bad. It tries so hard to be clever and catchy, and it ends up sounding amazingly stilted. For example, mercenaries are called "merks." The bad guys are the "Necromongers," and Riddick is a member of the race of "Furians." PLEASE, STOP. Necromongers? Furians? It all comes out sounding more like the dialogue delivered by junior high school kids playing a role playing game like a script. Diesel's delivery, flat and listless, only adds to the desire to grab some earplugs and wish that one were enjoying a summer on Crematoria...<br /><br />If "Riddick" could have had one saving grace, it was the set design. The design was reminiscent of the work of H.R. Geiger in places, with good subtlety and eerie tones, bringing to mind everything from "Alien" to "Hellraiser." Unfortunately, even that peters out for long, tedious stretches of chase sequences across fake-looking desert mountains and forgettable caverns.<br /><br />All in all, "The Chronicles of Riddick" is really just a couple of tedious hours of special effects desperately in search of a story which, sadly for the audience, never materializes. If one can get past all of the shortcomings of this movie, then I suppose one could enjoy it. Of course, getting past all the shortcomings would involve walking straight past the theater and doing something more interesting... like watching paint dry, or screwing a cakestand into one's pelvis.<br /><br />The main problem with this film, though, is the misleading title. Two syllables were left off the end of the main character's name: "u" and "lous."