I'm not asking for much here. The plot doesn't have to make sense (communist boy-scouts sending crystal-clear broadband hostage-killing footage out of some dingy village and patriotic fervor that would make Rambo 3 blush), as long as the lead dude is kicking bad guy after bad guy in all the places it's supposed to hurt. The exposition doesn't to be need more than 10 minutes at the most. Even cheesy songs are allowed (this is Asian cinema, after all), as long as they're during the love or the grieving segments. But what I do ask for is good ACTION.<br /><br />Quick plot rundown: Main guy witnesses cop partner die in line of duty at the hands of evil general. Main guy sad, so to forget his sorrow, main guy goes to poor village with sister to hand out sports memorabilia. Coincidentally, evil general's No.1 henchman & terrorist gang decide to hold poor village hostage so government will release evil general. Somehow, a nuclear missile is also involved...<br /><br />Here, I expected to see some kick-ass Thai boxing. I didn't. Maybe Ong-Bak set the standard too high. But I should've known when I looked the lead dude up and saw that he was in Ong-Bak's credit nether regions as 'bodyguard #4'. Sure, he could do the flip kicks, throw his opponents into pottery, and every once in a while deliver the crushing elbow-drop, but it all just falls flat. Part of the fun of watching the fighting in Ong-Bak was the sense that Tony Jaa is a real badass. He didn't need to hit people more than the viewer's sense of belief found necessary. He was almost untouchable - seeing him dodge limbs and obstacles was just as fun as seeing the beatings. This dude, on the other hand, should've been dead after the first 30-45 minutes (which became the most infuriating plot hole). Pretty much every time someone tried to hit him, they did. His kicks were weak and flabby-looking. His skill truly was at the level of an extra. If they had made the balance-beam chick the star, the whole thing would've been 3 times as entertaining. She had the most gracefully choreographed scenes in the entire movie. For those who absolutely need to see this, fear not: there were plenty of explosions, gun violence, and moving vehicle stunts. But just like the fighting, all of it felt forced and had no heart. Worst part is, they absolutely tried, which brought the whole movie to a comedic pitch not too long after the mayhem started. I wish I could rip on individual scenes, but that would be considered spoiling...<br /><br />In conclusion: Tony Jaa is back to kick some ass in Tom Yum Goong, so we can all forget about this rip-off and send it to the DVD bins in supermarkets and Walmarts where it belongs.