Really, this is a sleeper. <br /><br />I was drinking all the coffee I had in the house just to try to stay awake and it wasn't working.<br /><br />This movie is bad and boring.<br /><br />Many users have given the film rave reviews for its story, its look, and it philosophical script. These are likely the same people who understood and loved "Lost Highways". <br /><br />You see, when Wes Craven includes a character named Van Helsing, it can be a bit of a gas. It is funny, mildly relevant, a bit respectful, and ultimately lost in the wake when the film provides some genuinely frightening moments. When this movie puts Peter Fonda on the screen as the drunken, acid-laced Van Helsing, you want to laugh. But, the movie takes itself so seriously that funny is not a viable option. And the fact is, there is not one sequence in the film that can elevate the pulse above comatose, let alone frighten.<br /><br />The story is a mess. The wonderfully philosophical script may be thought provoking for some, provided they do not possess anything more than a third grade education. For those of you who were unfortunate enough to have manage you way into the fourth grade, look not to this film for intellectual stimulation. Fans of Anne Rice's vampires may not mind that the monsters are written as more fascinating than frightening. However, these vampires are just plain confusing. Is Nadja's brother a vampire? Who knows? He never drinks blood. Is Nadja's slave a vampire? Who cares, he's a compete bore.<br /><br />Rarely do I feel the need to really trash a film. However, I actually bought this video based on the high ratings given by IMDB user comments, and hope that these words may save someone else the same fate. <br /><br />Read a vampire story. Watch Buffy re-runs. Twiddle your thumbs and count the cracks on the wall. Do what you will, but avoid this movie.