Having seen the trailer for Gene X months in advance, I was expecting a film in the style of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. Unfortunately, this turns out to be a very low budget movie taking itself far too seriously in trying to create some sense of suspense and resulting in nonsense. The opening title sequence is easily the most dramatic part of Gene X. Do yourself a favour and press STOP after the first two minutes and you will have a far more enjoyable cinematic experience than continuing on to the establishing scene. <br /><br />The plot of Gene X involves a bumbling young scientist, Dr Tom Gray, working in a laboratory-seconding-as-a-lavatory, whose genetic testing on two (2) rabbits somehow heralds the results of a marvelous cancer-curing goo. However, as with all Dr Jekyllian projects, taking this substance triggers moments of violent insanity in the takeree, insanity which can only be sated by a stranglee shouting "I know you're in there somewhere! It's me! Your friend! Your FRIEND!" (or to that effect)... otherwise the only known cure appears to be a bullet through the head. Of course, the hospital in which Dr Gray is conducting his research claims the cure as their own and attempts to sell it off as all corrupt-and-drug-addicted-corporate-types do. Said corporate type is dating a nurse in the hospital, who seduces Dr Gray in order to get to the cure, as she is emotionally attached to a tumour-ridden orphan in the hospital who can somehow afford private health cover. Tensions rise as the affair is discovered and the battle to stop Gene X escaping into the clutches of pharmaceutical companies rages onward towards a most yawnworthy climax.<br /><br />The film is sluggish in creating tension throughout the rickety plot line. Every few minutes a character's dialogue will be poorly dubbed. Inappropriate, Yamaha-keyboard-esquire music stings punctuate moments of the protagonist and his love interest with the comedic prowess of Trey Parker. And the acting of the minor characters is truly appalling... especially the senior ones. "Oooh, I'm shaking like a leaf." Hilarious! The spasming of the bedridden toadfaced chemokid is also pants-wettingly funny.<br /><br />The saving grace of Gene X comes from the lead actors Patrick Magee and Ayse Tezel. Both hold up the narrative by making the best of some, at times, horrendously corny lines. Stunt doubles for sex scenes and scooter-riding are terrible, but if you approach Gene X without high expectations you are sure to enjoy the post-production ineptness and unintentional one-liner classics. "It smells like... the ocean?"