I have a certain respect for Rob Zombie. His love of the classic cult grind-house horror of yesteryear is very endearing and I believe him to have a certain integrity rare amongst film personalities. Unfortunately House of 1000 Corpses, while certainly expressing Zombie's love for old school shock horror, is simply too convoluted, elaborate and often boring to send a single shiver up the spine.<br /><br />It is obvious that painstaking care was taken in the aesthetics of the film but unfortunately it has failed. For the most part the film looks as if the lighting and makeup designers had just come from a job on The Bold and the Beautiful with gaudy colours and super smooth skin on characters who have supposedly been on the road for days detracting greatly from any attempts at a gritty atmosphere. Even in the supposed house of 1000 corpses the production design resembles a piece of theatre more than a disturbing pit of hell and mayhem. I understand the burlesque inspiration here but even with that considered the sets shouldn't look so staged. The special effects makeup also looked more like paper mache than deformed skin, apart from Dr. Satan, who does look very effective but is unfortunately severely underused.<br /><br />The acting for the most part is excruciating. Sid Haig is fun as always and completely steals the show but apart from him there is not a single character here who the audience will feel strongly for or against simply because they are all 1 dimensional stock standards played in the fashion of a high school drama class. One very disappointing aspect of the performances is that the older members of the sicko family are obviously played by college age kids and the poor makeup and acting is unable to hide this. The dialogue is obviously aiming to be quotable, and is therefore so ludicrously overwritten that it does little but add to the amateur theatricality of the film.<br /><br />By the time we get to the juicy horror stuff the film takes the action in a completely convoluted direction until the audience no longer cares what this sick family is hiding or what kind of back story there may be. Simplicity is the key stroke to the art of the horror film but obviously Rob Zombie wanted to do away with that trend in House of 1000 Corpses. The same can be said of the cinematography. Negative colourization and crash cuts to grainy newsreel style footage of what is happening in another room are amateur tricks at best and more at home in an MTV music clip. To add insult to injury these tricks are overused to the point of exhaustion.<br /><br />I watched this film with a friend who I consider a kindred spirit in horror fandom and we both are well watched and researched on the genre. I'm sad to say that half way through House of 1000 Corpses our silence could no longer be held and my friend finally had to open the floodgates with "Ugh, this is so bad!" Yes, it is. Kudos to your vision Mr. Zombie, but your execution is in dire need of tuning.