Since I get unlimited rentals from Netflix, I often mix in some stupid movies, sometimes because I feel like watching a lighter movie that doesn't require any thinking, and sometimes just out of morbid curiosity. It was the latter that compelled me to rent "New York Minute" starring the Olsen twins.<br /><br />"New York Minute" has gotten universally bad reviews from critics, but I considered that the mere fact that the movie starred Mary-Kate and Ashley invited ridicule from people who haven't even seen it. Despite a traumatic experience in my teenage years, when I was repeatedly forced to watch "It Takes Two" (an Olsen twins version of "The Parent Trap") by some kids I frequently babysat, I gave this one a chance. To my surprise, it was even stupider than it looked. Even stupider than the critics led me to believe. Even stupider than "It Takes Two." So stupid that I hardly know where to begin The interchangeable Olsen twins play, you guessed it, twin sisters. Although they are identical in appearance, they have completely opposite personalities: Jane is the conservative, overachieving twin, while Roxy is a messy, truant punk. Eugene Levy plays a truancy officer who's obsessed with catching Roxy.<br /><br />Jane and Roxy are both taking a trip into the city -- Jane to deliver a speech for a scholarship contest, and Roxy to go to a concert -- and a predictable case of mistaken identity leads to both twins getting kicked off the train. While they're at the train station, FBI agents descend on a guy trying to hand off what turns out to be a computer chip with pirated music (leading one to wonder why they didn't just e-mail the files or something), causing him to slip said chip into Roxy's purse, resulting in a Chinese-wannabe limo driver chasing the twins through NYC to recover the chip.<br /><br />During the bizarre chase, Jane accepts a ride from the limo driver because she can't wait 3 hours for the next train, even though she has more than 6 hours to get to her speech. Then Roxy tosses the important chip onto a tray of food, which the dog proceeds to eat. At one point, the twins end up in a sewer, but the scary black people-turned-nice at House of Bling give them multiple free makeovers (despite Jane's tight schedule to get to her speech, she takes the time to try on half a dozen outfits and dance around in each one) and a cab to drive. Meanwhile, the truancy officer commandeers and subsequently wrecks a tourist couple's RV to chase down Roxy, but then gets promoted for busting the pirated music ring.<br /><br />It all comes together to create possibly the stupidest movie ever made. What's really sad about "New York Minute" is that it was supposed to be a vehicle to show that the Olsen Twins are serious actresses, but it ultimately just shows how undeserving they are of their fame and fortune. (1/10)