I got a scary story for you. There was this guy, and he had a girlfriend. One day they had nothing to do, and "Friday the 13th" was playing at the Dollar Theater. Despite everything that his instincts told him...HE SAW IT! AAAAH! Okay, okay...I know that none of these films are supposed to be scary, just dumb but fun entertainment. And that's what the original was! The original was very fun! But this...the only reason this gets a 2 is because I loved the new Jason so much. He is fast, smart, and seriously more brutal. But everything else in the film is flat-out so-horrible-and-boring-and-not-even-remotely-fun that it should be avoided at all costs. AT. ALL. COSTS. I have come to realize that when Michael Bay says he is producing something, what he really means is that he is projectile-vomiting it. God help the remake of "A Nightmare On Elm Street". There's NO WAY it can be as bad as this was...right?