This film discards everything known about movie-making and starts from scratch. Don't get me wrong though, it's not refreshing. It's a pile of junk. Story? Exposition? Acting? Soundtrack? Well-choreographed action sequences? A coherent ending? All missing. The visual effects aren't even up to par with movies made 10 years ago. To sum up the movie's plot in a few sentences, a coffin gets stolen from a monastery and people want to get it back. This movie is nothing but a poor (VERY POOR) excuse for Tak Sakaguchi and gang to dress up pretty. As far as the eye candy goes, it's not bad. Warning though, non-sequiturs abound. Rifles disguised as swords? Pretty cool. A bamboo rocket launcher? Wicked. A full out dirt bike? WHAT THE ****? Unfortunately, none of the above warrant spending the two hours to watch this film. I had to space it out over three days.<br /><br />Oh wait, there is one reason to watch this film. If you look closely at the hero's sword, you'll see that it's a giant throbbing penis; head, veins, shaft, and all. No kidding. Giant. Throbbing. Penis.