I had decent hopes going in. The movie was a tribute to a legend of cinema, especially in Japan. The cast was at least an 8 out of 10 for star power. Animation looked solid and well-toned. The plucky action-girl cliché character was mildly cute. How could they really screw it up, yeah?<br /><br />Sadly, the movie failed to deliver. And yes, up front, I know that as a 25 year-old I'm too young to have loved the classic and too old to be the target audience, but I haven't felt this alienated by a film since the stink bomb that was Legend of Despereaux.<br /><br />First beef: the plot/writing. Kitschy and predictable, standard Saturday-morning stuff, as others have said. Pinnochio, Oliver Twist, Isaac Asimov; all the classics get the rip-off treatment. The instant I saw a room full of rowdy kids searching for waste, I thought, "great, Nathan Lane's the evil Fagan clone". Even Robin Williams was an engaging portmanteau of the man in August Rush. I know there aren't many original ideas left in Hollywood, but this was a poor effort. The character motivations are missing almost entirely. Everyone in the movie is a one-dimensional cardboard cutout just following the plot out of sheer bloody stubbornness. The president wants to start a war to get re-elected?! This is political satire too crude and off-target for Mad TV. A devotion to being a complete jerk is NOT good character motivation. Evil for evil's own sake is the sign of poor writers. The movie wasn't even an hour and forty for crying out loud, you could have squeezed in some kind of development.<br /><br />Second; the voice acting. I mean, the plot could have been forgivable if the movie had any immersion value to lose yourself in, but every time I wanted to enjoy the experience, Mr. Cage's horrific voice acting kicked me right back out (and no, I don't have much respect for him as an actor aside from some of his early stuff). Sadly, for the legend he is, Donald Sutherland was hardly better. The two main pro/an-tagonist characters go back and forth like they're in a 2am TBS sitcom. Kristen Bell and Freddie Highmore were pretty good, though.<br /><br />Finally, the direction. David Bowers was the man who brought the genius that was Flushed Away to us, and clearly, the bar was set too high. There are flashes of the same brilliance in a few of the throwaway jokes, but overall, there's just no humor for anyone over the age of 10. Most of the jokes were just weak. The pacing was off, with some of the character development slots getting little to no screen time. The movie just tried to go too big, too fast with nothing to lift it.<br /><br />Conclusion: save your money. It's flash and sparkle with the depth of a spoon. I'm sorry I paid to see it, but that's what "caveat emptor" means after all.