Talking about bad Hitchcock films is kind of fun given Sir Alfred didn't make many of them, just enough to show himself human. And as bad Hitchcock movies go, "Jamaica Inn" is moderately more entertaining than others like "Number 17," "The Paradine Case," and "Topaz," though for the same reason it is so awful: Charles Laughton.<br /><br />Laughton plays Sir Humphrey Pengallan, lord of a coastal Cornish fiefdom that includes Jamaica Inn, a den of cutthroats to which journeys young Mary (Maureen O'Hara), niece of the innkeeper's wife. After rescuing one of the gang from hanging, Mary finds herself seeking Sir Humphrey's mercy. But just how merciful is his lordship? Not very, if all the scenery we see him chewing in his opening vignette is any indication, muttering airily about the lack of true beauty in the world and having as the guest of honor at a fancy dinner party his prize horse. The Caligula touch is apropos of Sir Humphrey as we get to know him, and of Laughton, too, as he takes every line in the script as a license for excess.<br /><br />Laughton held the overall reins of this project as his pet producer was in place over Hitchcock, and you can see how he was granted free roam whether Hitch cared or no. Most actors playing characters with dual identities are content with one revelation scene; Laughton must have three. Every other line of his is delivered in extreme close-up, twitching an outrageously fake pair of eyebrows and stepping on lines by the other actors like they were ants at a picnic.<br /><br />"Next thing you'll be telling me you're as good as I am," he sniffs, beetle brows popping at a hapless extra, upper lip puffed as if full of Skoal. "You're not as good as me. Nature was against you from the start; everything else has been against you since."<br /><br />Hitchcock didn't make many period pieces in his career, so the fact that this one is set in Regency England circa 1819 is a source of some positive anticipation, as is O'Hara making her screen debut. Original author Daphne Du Maurier gave Hitchcock the source material for two of his most well-regarded films, "Rebecca" and "The Birds." Laughton and Hitchcock possessed the same mordant wit, an eye for taking the mickey out of a highly-charged scene.<br /><br />Yet none of it comes off here. O'Hara is shrill and wimpy, crying "Aunt Patience, Aunt Patience" every five minutes and taxing our patience continually. The rest of the cast, led by Robert Newton as Mary's hamster-cheeked companion, is uniformly bad, especially Leslie Banks as the overbearing innkeeper and Marie Ney as Patience his wife, always looking right at the camera as she does her Tammy Wynette thing in explaining to Mary the merits of her Springer-worthy marriage. Instead of a coherent storyline, one stares at a screen dark as an oil slick from which various dime-novel tropes occasionally squeak out. Some like web reviewer Self-Styled Siren see this as intentional comedy; with all respect to her Bloggeress I must disagree. There is no sign of irony here, just a lot of clinkers.<br /><br />The only redeeming virtue in "Jamaica Inn" is the same thing that makes it worse than other Hitch flops like "Topaz": Laughton's overripe performance. He's so over-the-top and without restraint that he's often hilarious. I don't flatter myself to think I can look down on Laughton; at his best he was quite a brilliant actor. But here is a case of a talent in losing battle against his own formidable ego, playing every scene with a flip hauteur that seems to mock anyone else's attempt to be engaged.<br /><br />That unfortunately included Hitchcock himself, as can be seen from the way scenes trail off or start suddenly, completely lacking the Master's usual polish. He had other worlds to conquer by this time, preparing to embark on his most fruitful patch of work by sailing to the United States. Too bad he left England on such a bum note.