... but that's an ironic '9'... seriously, if you've ever been bored by a bad Conan rip-off or atrociously dubbed euro-trash, this is the PERFECT movie for you... it's a sci-fi/sword and sandal/post-apocalyptic mish-mash that gets more unbelievable as it goes along. The only way to distill the perfect essence that is Yor is with a meager, unworthy list (scorn) of the more jaw dropping aspects of this classic, underrated treatise on the human condition:<br /><br />1. The theme song, which at one point explains "Yor's world/He's the maaaaaaaaaaaan(very high castrato soprano)". <br /><br />2. The horde of smurfs-on-steroids that attack and destroy a very ineptly guarded village of hobos in furs... I'm sorry, "natives" in furs. <br /><br />3. Cave bimbo Kalaa's constant assertion that "Yor's not like other men" when in fact he looks just like every other South Beach surfer dude who's ever gotten lost in a desert wasteland. <br /><br />4. The viewer's slow realization that fat, greasy comic relief Pak always and consistently pulls Yor's fat out of the fryer whenever the blonde barbarian putz is about to get killed. <br /><br />5. Not one, but TWO paper mache dinosaurs. And a giant bat. That becomes an improvised hang glider. No joke. <br /><br />6. Geez, they just keep coming...how 'bout the line "Take me with you stranger!" spoken in all earnestness by a non-acting girl-child. <br /><br />7. The straw boat that's supposed to represent a sea-based culture's highest technical achievement... with seating for four. <br /><br />8. Best line in the movie- "Damn talking box!" <br /><br />9. Just when you're praying it won't get any more surreal, just when you've thrown up your hands and surrendered your sanity, Darth Vader shows up. Correction: an ARMY of Darth Vaders. <br /><br />10. John Steiner! Remember him? I don't! But he's the 'Overlord'! And by now, it makes sense! <br /><br />11. The same South African factory-basement set from MST3k's "Space Mutiny". Now you know the movie has to be a quality effort. <br /><br />12. Laser battle! Yor, having never seen a pulse rifle before, proceeds to pick off half a dozen Vaderbots from a hundred yards... or a coupla feet. My bad. <br /><br />13. Skipping intermediate plot, just know that there's a wise old blind man with a monologue and a candy-stripe barber's pole jutting from the Overlord's gut, along with genetic engineering and nuclear holocaust and a house of mirrors and a rocket jet escape and OH MY GOD they coulda made a sequel! But we all know sequels are never as good as the originals. Plus the theme song runs over the end credits and Pak displays his gymnast skills during the stirring climax... saving Yor yet again! Whatever you come away from this list with, just remember that what you have in your head is not a suitable prep for the untethered insanity, the pure unadulterated madness, the sheer brain scrambling head trip that is... YOR, THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE! Well worth the $.99 + tax from the blowout inventory sale at the local movie gallery.