This film is the embodiment of everything I hate. Loathe, hate, abhor, detest, and despise. It gives us the perspective of a vapid teenage girl we're supposed to like, pitted against the mean-spiritedness of her even more vapid, less likable, tormentor. An hour and a half of whining and cat-fighting is tidied up at film's end with a gesture as shallow as the fountain into which one of the characters falls. What could have been a good satire turns out to be a warm, fuzzy hug toward every grating detail of spoiled-brat life that should have been its target. The performances are almost uniformly terrible (Lohan should have played the rich snob, for starters), and the film's rock-musical adaptation of PYGMALION (yes, you read that correctly) is one of the more painful things I've ever had to sit through. This is the rare film that can be described as literally headache-inducing. It gives me new appreciation for THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE MOVIE, which is a bad film, but whose star now looks like a beacon of modesty and talent compared to Lohan in this make-me-a-star-now vehicle. (1/10) (* out of ****) (Grade: F)