This movie has to be seen to be believed. It fails miserably on every level. Fortunately, Joe Brooks handled the direction, writing, and lead acting role himself, so there are fewer people to blame for it.<br /><br />As a romantic lead, Joe has about as much appeal as a potted plant. His leading lady, Shelley Hack, acts as though she were posing for the picture on front of a box of All Bran. It's pretty bad when the most professional acting performance in a movie is delivered by a little girl (Danielle Brisebois).<br /><br />Joe plays a jingle writer who dreams of being a serious musician, even though all of his "serious" songs still sound like extended jingles, and the classical piece he composes to show off his true talent would be better suited for a group of musical saw players instead of an orchestra. Watching his dramatic gestures as he conducts this ear-splitting opus in the recording studio, as the dazzled Shelley Hack grins at him like a stuffed loon, is one of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes ever filmed.<br /><br />Joe was obviously hoping for another big chart-topper like "You Light Up My Life", but its inexplicable success was not to be matched by the cringe-inducing dirge that is this film's theme song. I don't know who performed it, but he doesn't sing it as much as he suffers through it. He seems to be battling his way through a particularly intense bout of constipation as he strains to expel the stomach-churning lyrics. But I doubt if even Debby Boone could've made this song any more tolerable.<br /><br />When I saw this movie on HBO several years ago, I just had to have it. I watch my tape every so often just to gape in wide-eyed amazement at how truly awful a movie can be. As a bad-movie lover, I hold this perversely-entertaining cinematic messterpiece in high esteem -- it's the PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE of romantic movies, and truly one of the worst films ever made.