Whiteboyz is a film that was long overdue, even in '99, and informs the audience of the important lesson that white kids should stop emulating black pop culture. Unfortunately, Whiteboyz is less of a scathing social commentary and more of a lame comedy. The story revolves around "Flip", a white gangster-rapper wannabe that lives in rural America. Flip looks like Gomer Pyle except he wears baggy clothes, talks like an idiot, and is much less likable.<br /><br />Flip is somewhere in his mid to late 20s and still lives with his parents, and as to how he wasn't thrown out by now is a mystery to me. Flip has a lot going on in his life right. He just recently got his girlfriend pregnant and she wants an abortion while Flip sees things differently. After all--why wouldn't a jobless, aspiring-rapper with zero talent make a good father? We can hardly blame her, after all no woman should have to carry Flip's child. It's too cruel of a punishment. Flip is also surrounded by his equally white wannabes who constantly refer to each other as 'dogg' spelled with two Gs because it is so very gangster (I'm sorry, I meant gangsta) to misspell things.<br /><br />Flip and his posse of losers enjoy talking like idiots, getting drunk and possibly high at parties, and shooting at cornfields. They then get it into their skulls that they should take a road trip and invite the only person of African-American descent in Iowa along with them. But where should one go? California? Florida? No, Flip and his crew want to go to a harsh, poverty-stricken ghetto in Chicago to get a taste of the wonderful 'gangsta life'.<br /><br />After all, who doesn't dream of living in one of the worst neighborhoods in America? A place riddled with drug dealing, violence, and economic hopelessness...where can I sign up! Now the humor of the film obviously stems from the portrayal of the white wannabe rappers and I don't know what's sadder about the whole thing--that I actually sat through and listened to all of their dialogue, or that there probably really are people out there as annoying as Flip and his friends.<br /><br />It's at this point Flip and company leave cozy Iowa for the 'real deal' streets of Chicago. They arrive, giddy at their gloomy surroundings. Flip enlists the company of some guy to track down drug dealers, since dealing drugs is the first step on the "how to become a gangster-rapper" handbook. The man Flip enlists is quite disgruntled, who wouldn't be if these guys showed up on your doorsteps, and demands a twenty. Eventually Flip is brought to room where three angry-looking drug dealers/gangsters/loan sharks size up Flip and are irritated by his drug dealing diplomacy skills.<br /><br />So the three of them beat up on Flip and it is truly a sweet, sweet moment if it is only so brief. We finally get to see what Flip deserves for trying to be the next Eminem. But it's three buff guys against one Flip, as if they needed anything more than a 13-year-old kid to put Flip in traction. It is in this moment that Flip realizes that men that deal drugs and carry guns aren't the nicest of fellows and manages to get away until the police show up and start firing wildly into the air.<br /><br />This is ultimately the moral of the story, but it still comes off as incredibly trite and has a "TV movie of the week" feel to it. The man who helped Flip gets shot by a cop and soon dies while Flip weeps for his fallen comrade who he's known for all of ten minutes. Should've asked for overtime pay. Thus Flip and his buds flee all the way back to Iowa, where they stop the car in front of a bridge and Flip throws his gun over the side, symbolizing his giving up of his rapper dreams.<br /><br />Except he still dresses the same and talks in a stupid accent. A man died and he was nearly beaten to death and he still hasn't learned his lesson, and to top it all off he now has a hallucination sequence in a cornfield when he returns home. The ending of the film is left open for interpretation, with Flip doing a rap which thankfully I do not remember the lyrics. Is he the next rap super star? Or is he still jobless in Iowa? I hope it's the latter.<br /><br />In the end if you were expecting Whiteboyz to be the wakeup call for wannabe rappers in white neighborhoods it'll have to wait. Still, this film is worth catching on cable just to see Flip get a proper beatdown.