A copy of Umberto Lenzi's GHOSTHOUSE was lying at the bottom of my closet for almost ten years now. I knew I'd seen it once, but I couldn't remember much of it. So last night I decided to watch it again. And, honestly, I don't know why I didn't remember anything of it. Because this is one memorable bad movie! Pretty bad Italian haunted house rubbish. If this was Umberto Lenzi's shot at making American movies, then he blew it big time.<br /><br />Now, the first two murders in the prologue of the movie were actually quite good. Typical brutal Italian style and a bit classic in a way. But then flash-forward 20 years or so, and all goes down the drain. Laughingly bad! A radio-operator hears the most unconvincing cry for help ever on his radio. He and his girlfriend discover the origin of the transmission. It seems to come from an abandoned house. Some youngsters are spending the weekend there in the yard with their trailer-van. Et voilà, enough meat for the grinder as the house appears to be possessed by a girl and her doll (who died 20 years ago).<br /><br />There's a lot of silly dialogues. But the dubbing is rather good, I must say. I think they mainly used the actor's real voices. Although there's one girl (I think it's Lara Wendel) which has such a thick accent, you can hardly understand a word she says. There's also that stupid joking black guy who serves absolutely no purpose (except getting killed). And don't get me started about that annoying nursery rhyme...<br /><br />However, there is some amusing stuff going on (but there's no logic to it whatsoever, of course). There's one guy that suddenly falls into a lake of milk (!) in the basement (kinda cool). When he crawls out, his girlfriend mistakingly takes him for an oozing zombie and stabs him to death with a pair of hedge-scissors. Hahaha, I had some fun with that! The old caretaker was a hoot too. He's supposed to be half-crippled, but he manages to chase almost every single girl that crosses his path.<br /><br />And then that tomb on the graveyard, that looks from the outside like a Hobbit's house... It has electricity in it??? There's a night-lamp that still seems to work after 20 years?!?!?!?! And the girl's corpse doesn't show any decomposing signs after 20 years of rotting away??? And can someone explain to me what was up with that ghost-dog? Barks a few times and doesn't do anything... and then vanishes. Nothing makes any sense in this movie! But the ending was good though: Bus of Death, hèhèhèhè...<br /><br />So this movie is worth watching once, because it's pretty hilarious. Some death-scenes are mildly amusing, and I must say that some sequences succeed barely in being scary (the washing machine in the basement, some scenes with the doll), but in the end it's just a bunch of silly, illogical nonsense. I haven't seen a lot of Umberto Lenzi's movies (I've only seen CANNIBAL FEROX and NIGHTMARE CITY, which I both enjoyed), but to me it seems he's just a mediocre Italian director when it comes to horror-movies. Fans of Lenzi might wanna check out GHOSTHOUSE (that's what they'll do anyway), but if you're just beginning to discover Italian horror-cinema, then go with stuff from Argento, Bava, Soavi and Fulci.