**May be a spoiler or two but probably not** <br /><br />"Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li" is about a Chinese/American girl who goes from being a gifted concert pianist to Wushu master and savior of Bangkok Thailand's slums. And that is pretty much all that is discernible from a plot that bounces around more than the heroine when she battles bad guys...and girls. The movie's downfall is its attempt to cram too much of everything into a world and story that is a lot more simple.<br /><br />The film starts off earnestly enough. The sweet tunes of a grand piano gently transport us into an ordinary world that is soon going to come crashing down. And crashing down it does and not in the good 'bashing your opponents face into the pavement' way, but rather in the bland character's, bad acting, convoluted and totally unbelievable story kind of way. Now, before I get into how bad this movie really is I will start with what is good about it. But 'good' certainly does not mean redeemable. The cinematography and camera work are great and truly capture the essence of the places the story takes us. The fight scenes are well-choreographed and well-shot for the most part, which is more than most Hollywood martial arts heavy films can say these days(I am glaring at the insanely hard to follow 'static-cam' of the "Bourne" films and Bond's latest foray into an unwelcoming action-genre).<br /><br />And that, viewers, is where the goodness of this hack ends. What follows is a lot of over-acting to the point of hilarity, cheap and pointless one-liners, too many implausible scenarios that don't have any basis in anything related to reality. And yes, I know, this is 'Street Fighter' and it is based on a mildly supernatural video game but some of the events that occur in this film are just too over-the-top(Bison 'delivering' baby scene...enough said). The film raises questions we as viewers shouldn't need to ask...and then we never get answers to those questions! Chun-Li and Gen are the films 'strong' points. Bison is nowhere near as imposing as he should be. And even though his Irish(yes, apparently Bison is Irish) parents died just after he was born and he was raised on the streets of Bangkok with nothing but Thai people, adult Bison somehow managed to retain a spot-on Irish accent. Balrog is just plain hokey. Vega (who is supposed to be a Spaniard, but certainly is not in the film) is...well he just is. His character is neither cool nor threatening and not even as arrogant as he is supposed to be. The characters of Nash and Det. Sunee are totally forgettable and as a matter-of-fact totally unbelievable as well. No decent high-ranking detective, like Sunee claims to be, walks around as scantily clad as she does when she's at work.<br /><br />Oh my God, ladies and gentlemen, I could go on and pick this film apart piece by piece but that would entail me giving away spoilers...and this film has spoiled having only been released yesterday. You wouldn't waste your money on spoiled food would you? I think not, so don't waste it on this tripe.<br /><br />And for the record I am a fan of the games and I have seen the animes and read the graphic novels. I think I speak for all real fans that we want Ryu and we want Ken. We want their journey from children to brothers to karate street fighting masters. We want their revenge on Akuma and Ryu's scarring bout with Sagat. Simple. Right? No Interpol, no sexy cops, and no Shadaloo (supposed to be Shadow Law btw). You don't need those things to have a great fan pleasing 'Stree Fighter' film do you? I didn't think so. Simple. Simple. Simple. God, I am writer...I should just write the damn thing. It would certainly be better than what has been so far.<br /><br />Done.