Leave off without Off Season<br /><br />After having driven to the Viking hotel in Portland (ME) from Manhattan during the off season, a playwright and his girlfriend settle in to their new home only to find strange things abound. They both begin to experience the strange things, yet neither seem interested in revealing those experiences to each other - for no good reason. The oddities soon take a toll on their relationship physically manifesting mainly against the girlfriend (probably because she doesn't walk around in the hotel room naked like any respectable B-Horror actress should). She suffers dearly getting the paranormal flu (who knew the afterlife was so unsanitary?!), booted from her job (as a part time librarian?), dumped by the boyfriend (for the company of the day drinking town hooligan; a guy that hangs out across the street from the hotel and flips off the manager when confronted - oooooh....scary), and a sweltering shiner (beware of the dangerous library book). No worries for her though because a dead relative that talks through the answering machine (only after the beep) to her will help guide her through the advances of dirty old men wielding small cactus, long haired freaky wet men cowering in the shower (don't get hopes up for any nudity!), and homicidal book smacking psycho chicks. Our heroine triumphs in the end writing her own best seller exposing the exploits of another best selling novelist that co-incidentally lived in the same hotel before she arrived. <br /><br />Believe me when I say I am making this movie sound better than it is. It is an incredibly bad movie that attempts weakly to capture small town colloquialisms by spinning them into a yarn of mystery and horror (which it doesn't). The problem is the writing and the direction. The plot is almost impossible to follow (not in a good way) and is filled with a myriad of ridiculousness (would the makers of this movie please decide if it is cold or warm or what is the actual weather pattern in Portland during the off season! Sheez!). For the psychological thriller fan, the story is not tight and the characters hold no interest. For the B-horror fan, this movie is missing all the elements - no gratuitous nudity, no slashing, and no chasing. <br /><br />The only screams are coming from the people that paid to see this movie. <br /><br />Don't say I didn't warn you!!