Flowers in the Attic (1987) was a weak attempt to translate the twisted V.C. Andrews southern Gothic horror novel into a made-to-teens movie. A film like this cannot be a P.G. film. If you even read a part of the book you'll know why. That's why today I'm going to give you a brief run down of the movie so you wont be tempted to watch this piece of garbage. <br /><br />A hot mom and her four bratty kids have to leave their suburban home because the bread winner (i.e. Pop's) is killed in a traffic accident. Pop's and the daughter have a very bizarre relationship (shown briefly with Mum spying on the two). Pop's dies on his birthday leaving the family to fend for themselves. When the money runs out, the five of them move into a dreary mansion that's ran by a cruel grandmother, a butler who resembles a young and spry Ronald W. Reagan and a basket case on wheels who looks like Mr. Steptoe. <br /><br />After being cleansed of her sins the ancient way (involving a scourging bull whip). The mother has to put her kids into an attic room while Mister Steptoe eh.. the Grandfather dies. While they wait, the children must live chaste lives and live out the days inside a musty and moldy attic. Chirs and Cathy (the older kids in their budding years) must fight temptation and (oops that's the book) they must become the most stupid and obnoxious children they can become. Grandmother berates them and calls them sinners and what not. The youngest of the brood the twins Corey and Carrie are even more unsympathetic than the older sibs.<br /><br />Pretty soon the food stops coming and Mum only makes cameo appearances. The child have nothing to eat (expect when Chris plays Jesus and feeds the wee ones his blood. If you think the movie can't get more ridiculous, it does. While the children starve, Mum courts a middle aged mullet wearing suitor. When she finally visits the kids, the ungrateful children lash out at their benefactor and she makes a hasty exit. The day of judgment comes when they learn three things, one Corey is dead, two Gramps is dead and three Mum's gonna get married!<br /><br />After stealing enough money, the kids get the courage to leave their room in the attic. After Chris puts the smack down on grandma and avoid lurch err I mean Ronnie err the butler, they run right into the middle of the wedding ceremony. Daughter confronts the jealous mother and a brief chase turns into tragedy. Mum hangs herself with her long veil. How ironic she wore white. As the three leave the mansion, the narrator promises more to come!<br /><br />Thankfully this movie sank like the Bismark at the box office. No more book-to-film adaptations for V.C. Andrews (who died during the post production, probably due to watching the dailies whilst she was on the set). A shame about the movie because if it was done correctly, we could have saw the whole series on film. But when you cheap out and use a hack to write and direct, you get garbage on the screen.<br /><br />Not recommended.<br /><br />I wouldn't watch this movie again on a dare or a bet. Well, maybe if it was worth my while.<br /><br />xxx