'I've bought a new film' my girlfriend beamed ' and it was only £3!'<br /><br />'Oh, cool i said, picking up the case' Pink letters a ginger on the cover, lucky it wasn't made out of glass or it would have shattered on impact as I dropped it.<br /><br />'Um, you appear to have bought the film made by that jumped up girl who's always in the newspaper' I said...<br /><br />There was a moments pause, in which she had plenty of time to shout 'nah only kidding, it's actually the Lost Boys, I switched the covers!'<br /><br />Instead she said 'But £3...' <br /><br />'What's going on?' I said about 20 minutes in, we'd seen a nice but cheaply made, with some woeful sound effects flashback sequence, which basically killed any hope of a final pay off, as you already got to see her ride naked although it could have been mistaken for an ironing board. A few bits about a bloke who was a 'bad boy' and a lot of mixed up plots involving school children, badly dressed women and dead brothers...oh and lots and lots of cheesy music. 'I'm not sure' my girlfriend said 'but I'm sure it'll make sense and it was £3'<br /><br />I wish she'd stop using that as an excuse.<br /><br />What seemed like a lifetime passed, but it was actually only half an hour, in which we'd seen some Japanese men strip a girl whines a lot (take your pick from any of the female cast) and lots of people acting, talking and dressing like it was 1955...oh and a slow mo horse ride...in black and white...to Enrique Iglesias...without irony. 'What's going on?' my girlfriend said 'I'm none the wiser' I said 'but I feel like crying, for all the wrong reasons' An old lady using a Zimmer frame doddered past my window at the slowest speed ever recorded; even she was having more fun than we were.<br /><br />In the end, not much happens the big naked ride never really materialises; it looks like it's about tothen just turns into something that looks like a documentary shot by 17 year olds who've got their mums to play members of the crowd. A fake Prince William turns up, fluffs some line, but it was in keeping with the rest of the acting so nobody really notices and the ironing board and the bad boy, who clearly hasn't done anything bad except forget to send a birthday card get together  hurrah you should say<br /><br />We both could have cried, not at the appalling script/acting/Directing/ (I would say delete where applicable, but they all are) but that it cost £3still it looks like by our single purchase they recovered all their budget.<br /><br />My verdict  Don't watch this film, instead go out, find a ginger person a rocking horse and some mums, borrow your dads handy cam and make your own version, it'll be a fun way to spend a couple of hours