"Beach House" is a fairly weak and derivative teen comedy. It strives to be like "Animal House" and "American Graffiti", and it largely fails. The script is inept, and the direction is so loosely plotted and ill conceived that it is tough to follow what exactly is going on throughout the film. The story seems secondary to musical interludes and drinking games. What is even more puzzling is the attempted rape scene near the end of the film. It is quite dark and does not suit the film at all. It is as if they tried to rip off "Halloween" momentarily too, just to rack in a quick buck.<br /><br />It is somewhat of a shame that this movie is so poorly made. There are a few decent things going for it. The music is in the same vein as The Ramones's music in "Rock 'n' Roll High School", and evokes some feelings of nostalgia. The best part of the film though, are a few of the female leads. Ileana Seidel as the spunky Brooklyn broad, Cecile, is really cute and has some screen presence. It is a shame that this film is the only one to bare her name. Kate McNeil achieved slightly more success than Seidel, and she too was good in "Beach House".<br /><br />As a film, "Beach House" is just excess. It offers no story or even characters to connect with, and it just plays out like a plodding music video. Proof of the film's inability to create character is the fact that it does not even offer a resolution. Do the boys from Philly end up getting along with the Brooklyn greasers? Apparently nobody making the film cares. If you love teen comedies then give this a look, but it ain't no "Porky's", that's for sure!