This is a movie I went back and forth on seeing. I'd see a commercial and think it would be terrible. Then I'd see the trailer while waiting for another movie and think it would be good. Finally I decided to go. This was a tragic mistake. For a couple of minutes, though, it was looking pretty good. I was getting prepared for an intimate look at how sane, educated people handle adult relationships. Then the opening credits ended and there's David Duchovny, talking to his son while he (the son) is on the toilet and explaining how a fart can be better than a poop. It didn't get any better from there.<br /><br />Not counting porn, this is the worst-written film I have ever seen. Now there are plenty of badly-written movies out there, but they don't pretend to be anything other than a crude vehicle that gets you to the CGI, stunts, and/or bloodshed. This is even worse than those because Bart Freundlich thought it was going to be about something important, and it's just absolute junk. The characters in this movie do not exist in real life. They have no depth or dimensions or personalities. They are all completely unlikable. (I started applauding when Duchovny tells Billy Crudup's character to shut the hell up. You and me both, David.) They don't talk or think like anyone I've ever come across. They float from wildly expensive restaurant to wildly expensive restaurant and whine about their problems without ever stopping to think that they are the cause of them all. Would you want to sit through an hour and 40 minutes of rich, pampered, pretty white people living in a bubble and complaining about how much their lives suck? I didn't think so.<br /><br />But wait, there's more. The script makes Maggie Gyllenhaal look like a sniveling, whiny private-school sorority girl. That alone is an art crime against humanity. But considering Crudup is reduced to a one-note death-obsessed Neanderthal, and Duchovny ends up speaking jive during a particularly bigoted note in the script, and the whole thing wraps up like a teen drama on the CW, I think I'm on pretty solid ground with my assertion.<br /><br />Yes, it only deserves 1 star. I thought to myself: Was there anything of value that I could take from this movie and justify giving it maybe 2 or 3 stars? There might have been, but the movie was such an insult to me and other smart people that I decided it wasn't worth it to figure out what they were.