Very rarely do you seriously come across a movie with no redeeming values whatsoever. I mean, there are tons of movies these days that are so bad that you say something like that about them, but it's a rare occurrence when you can apply that statement literally. Neon Maniacs is the story of a lot of creepy monsters that live under the Golden Gate Bridge, evidently for no other reason than to make people wonder why a lot of monsters who can be killed by water would choose to live so close to it. In thinking back on the movie, is there really any reason at all why they live under the Golden Gate Bridge? Is it just so they can include a couple shots of the bridge at the opening of the movie?<br /><br />Not only do we never find out why these creatures live to close to the one thing that can destroy them on contact, but we also never know where they came from or why they are killing people. Maybe they're upset because they're different. This is definitely an 80s horror film, so obviously you expect the acting to be just as bad as it is, and I think that Neon Maniacs really tests your levels of belief by trying to get you to believe that teenagers in the 80s thought it was the cool thing to do late at night to park their van in the middle of some park and play football and make out in the woods. Oddly enough, as dumb as that sounds, it looks even dumber on screen. <br /><br />I will not waste your time describing what kind of creatures these are, because they are little more than some make-up artists weak effort to make some disgusting monsters for a meaningless horror film and their exact descriptions are beside the point. There is everything from an alien to an ape-man, so you can just imagine for yourself what's in between, if you're lucky enough not to have seen this movie. If you've read any of the other reviews of this movie on the IMDb, you already know that the movie sets up for a sequel that was never made (my good friend and colleague Christopher Brown makes a good point in his review, that the sequel may have never been made because Lightning Video went out of business, but he also makes a shocking miscalculation of the quality of the movie itself  sorry Chris!).<br /><br />It's true that the movie leaves the possibility of a sequel so open that it calls too much attention to the fact that one was never made, but this is not an uncommon way to end movies like this. Little Shop of Horrors, for example, had a very similar ending, with the grinning plant showing up in the cute garden at the end of the film. Personally, I am more concerned with the sheer lack of quality of any kind from top to bottom in this movie (there's a scene at the end, during the `climax' of the film, where the hero and heroine are hiding from the approaching demons, and decide to lay down on the floor and make-out and just not worry about the monsters that are closing in, I guess hoping that they will just disappear  as it turns out, they were right), and besides that, even if someone wrote a sequel to this mess, who in their right mind would want to direct it?