Look, I'm not one of those snobby cinema elitists who scoffs and upturns their nose at every Adam Sandler film that comes out. "Happy Gilmore" is one of my all-time favourite "guilty pleasures" and he's done a lot of entertaining films that aren't by any means thought-provoking or life-altering but, for all practical purposes, are fun to watch. Paul Thomas Anderson was quoted as having said the only reason he cast Sandler in "Punch-Drunk Love" was due to the fact that he was a huge fan of Sandler's comedies, which he enjoyed viewing because they always put him in a good mood. I think this is about the best description of his work that you'll find, and pinpoints my own feelings.<br /><br />But once in a while Sandler will make a real turkey, and "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" is one of the worst. Ranking alongside "Anger Management" and "Little Nicky," Zohan -- the character -- offers little to like or enjoy, and "Zohan" -- the movie -- is even worse. Sandler's character in "The Waterboy" was annoying but the film was still funny if you're in the right mood. "Zohan's" problem is that it has an unlikeable character put in very unfunny predicaments, and relies on truly lame social/cultural jokes. Sometimes these type of stereotypical jabs can be passable in the same way the crudeness of "Happy Gilmore" is somewhat endearing, but "Zohan" offers them in such a direct and unpleasant manner that you're really just left straining to *try* to laugh at most of this stuff. Jewish people are hairy and talk funny? Americans don't know the difference between Saudi Arabia and Iraq? People in the Middle East dress like it's still 1989? This is essentially the whole film's joke, rehashed over...and over...and over again.<br /><br />Zohan is not a strong character for Sandler. He's gimmicky, just like Little Nicky, but rather than feeling strongly one way or another about him -- I just felt indifferent. He's not funny, which is a crucial hindrance to a film proclaiming itself as a comedy.<br /><br />The movie is just very inept. I was surprised to find Dennis Dugan had directed it, because he's usually one of Sandler's better collaborators; yet this film is totally amateurish and incomprehensible. There's no real plot, and John Turturro is thanklessly wasted as a scenery-chomping villain. Emmanuelle Chriqui is beautiful but ultimately she's another in Sandler's long line of underwritten romantic interests. These characters are more excusable in his better comedies like "Gilmore" because we know the romance is unrealistic to begin with and is only there to fit a mold, but Chriqui is so earnest in her performance and displays so much promise that you are left *wanting* her to have a better script to work with. Sandler should embrace the concept of stronger romantic leads in his films, because I think it would vastly improve the storyline. Since "Zohan" is so lazy in its story and its romantic subplot is tacked-on and pointless, the other flaws of the film -- primarily the lack of funny material -- become far clearer.<br /><br />Speaking of weak material: Adam Sandler and Mike Myers seem to have recently both arrived at the conclusion that penis and sex jokes can sustain an entire comedy. They can't. The first time we see Sandler naked, it's a forced chuckle. When he has sex with a friend's mother to thank her for dinner and hospitality, it's a lame attempt at Borat-style cultural comedy. When Zohan begins cutting elderly women's hair in blatantly sexual manners and takes them all into the back office of a hair salon one-by-one for a sex montage of sorts, you just want to throw up a bit. I'm shocked that Sandler actually thought this material was funny. If he was going for "gross-out" laughter, then he fails on all levels. It's not funny, it's not gross, it's just *stupid* and off-putting.<br /><br />This movie is ultimately just disappointing because of how dull it is and how hard it tries -- or perhaps doesn't try -- in its effort to make teenagers laugh. The only thing I ever really look for in a typical Adam Sandler comedy is a fair amount of silly throw-away gags, raunchy or not. But "Zohan" can't even deliver on this -- its only real purpose. Hopefully Sandler and Myers will both grow out of this awkward sex-jokes-only phase of their careers. The underperforming box office results of both "Zohan" and "The Love Guru" may help them realize this sooner rather than later.