yeah it didn't always work well i felt um i feel like i could myself do some things but that i have enough responsibility  that if i have someone like my father when i was living at home and my husband that's willing to do it i go ahead and let them do it i don't feel the need to um you know be a feminist on that issue and say i can take care of my own things i'm i'm happy to let them run run the cars because i have so many other responsibilities that um so i haven't tried to do a lot myself