content: BEING SORT OF A NARCISSIST, I STARTED WRITING A MEMOIR...\n\nCHAPTER 3:   WHAT I LEARNED IN JUNIOR HIGH\nInspired after reading about Pablo Picasso's legendary ways with women, I drew a beautiful pastel of a girl I had a crush on.  Surprising Tomiko with the portrait totally creeped her out and she never spoke to me again.  I learned that females are not impressed by something you spent hours creating in a basement.\n\nCHAPTER 28:  I SEDUCE A WOMAN WITH ART\nI invited my sweetie to dinner at Picasso Restaurant.  Fine dining beside Bellagio's synchronized fire-hydrants while surrounded by 50 million dollars worth of genuine Picasso paintings appears to have a certain effect on women.  The coveted table #34 has the best view of said fountains.  Using the opportunity to charm my sweetie with my knowledge of art, I explained that the colorful squiggles on the dinner plates were identical to the Picasso designs I'd seen at Museu Picasso in Barcelona.  I also freestyle-critiqued a few of the paintings on the walls (secretly, I couldn't name any of them).  As we enjoyed the magnificent meal, I commented that Chef Julian Serrano is like an artist, then immediately regretted making such a banal comparison.  My sweetie was too deep in a state of rapture to care.