Upload folder using huggingface_hub

.gitattributes

@@ -33,3 +33,5 @@ saved_model/**/* filter=lfs diff=lfs merge=lfs -text
 *.zip filter=lfs diff=lfs merge=lfs -text
 *.zst filter=lfs diff=lfs merge=lfs -text
 *tfevents* filter=lfs diff=lfs merge=lfs -text
+chroma_db/chroma.sqlite3 filter=lfs diff=lfs merge=lfs -text
+milvus_llamaindex.db filter=lfs diff=lfs merge=lfs -text

README.md

@@ -1,12 +1,6 @@
 ---
 title: SexBot
-emoji: 🚀
-colorFrom: green
-colorTo: indigo
+app_file: roleplay_gradio.py
 sdk: gradio
-sdk_version: 5.15.0
-app_file: app.py
-pinned: false
+sdk_version: 5.10.0
 ---
-
-Check out the configuration reference at https://huggingface.co/docs/hub/spaces-config-reference

agent_workflow.py

@@ -0,0 +1,198 @@
+from typing import Any, List
+
+from llama_index.core.agent.react import ReActChatFormatter, ReActOutputParser
+from llama_index.core.agent.react.types import (
+    ActionReasoningStep,
+    ObservationReasoningStep,
+)
+from llama_index.core.llms.llm import LLM
+from llama_index.core.memory import ChatMemoryBuffer
+from llama_index.core.tools.types import BaseTool
+from llama_index.core.workflow import (
+    Context,
+    Workflow,
+    StartEvent,
+    StopEvent,
+    step,
+)
+from llama_index.llms.openai import OpenAI
+from llama_index.core.llms import ChatMessage
+from llama_index.core.tools import ToolSelection, ToolOutput
+from llama_index.core.workflow import Event
+from llama_index.llms.ollama import Ollama
+from llama_index.core import Settings
+
+llm = Ollama(model="HammerAI/neuraldaredevil-abliterated")
+Settings.llm = llm
+
+class PrepEvent(Event):
+    pass
+
+
+class InputEvent(Event):
+    input: list[ChatMessage]
+
+
+class ToolCallEvent(Event):
+    tool_calls: list[ToolSelection]
+
+
+class FunctionOutputEvent(Event):
+    output: ToolOutput
+
+
+class ReActAgent(Workflow):
+    def __init__(
+        self,
+        *args: Any,
+        llm: LLM | None = None,
+        tools: list[BaseTool] | None = None,
+        extra_context: str | None = None,
+        **kwargs: Any,
+    ) -> None:
+        super().__init__(*args, **kwargs)
+        self.tools = tools or []
+
+        self.llm = llm or OpenAI()
+
+        self.memory = ChatMemoryBuffer.from_defaults(llm=llm)
+        self.formatter = ReActChatFormatter(context=extra_context or "")
+        self.output_parser = ReActOutputParser()
+        self.sources = []
+
+    @step
+    async def new_user_msg(self, ctx: Context, ev: StartEvent) -> PrepEvent:
+        # clear sources
+        self.sources = []
+
+        # get user input
+        user_input = ev.input
+        user_msg = ChatMessage(role="user", content=user_input)
+        self.memory.put(user_msg)
+
+        # clear current reasoning
+        await ctx.set("current_reasoning", [])
+
+        return PrepEvent()
+
+    @step
+    async def prepare_chat_history(
+        self, ctx: Context, ev: PrepEvent
+    ) -> InputEvent:
+        # get chat history
+        chat_history = self.memory.get()
+        current_reasoning = await ctx.get("current_reasoning", default=[])
+        llm_input = self.formatter.format(
+            self.tools, chat_history, current_reasoning=current_reasoning
+        )
+        return InputEvent(input=llm_input)
+
+    @step
+    async def handle_llm_input(
+        self, ctx: Context, ev: InputEvent
+    ) -> ToolCallEvent | StopEvent:
+        chat_history = ev.input
+
+        response = await self.llm.achat(chat_history)
+
+        try:
+            reasoning_step = self.output_parser.parse(response.message.content)
+            (await ctx.get("current_reasoning", default=[])).append(
+                reasoning_step
+            )
+            if reasoning_step.is_done:
+                self.memory.put(
+                    ChatMessage(
+                        role="assistant", content=reasoning_step.response
+                    )
+                )
+                print(reasoning_step.response)
+                return StopEvent(
+                    result={
+                        "response": reasoning_step.response,
+                        "sources": [*self.sources],
+                        "reasoning": await ctx.get(
+                            "current_reasoning", default=[]
+                        ),
+                    }
+                )
+            elif isinstance(reasoning_step, ActionReasoningStep):
+                tool_name = reasoning_step.action
+                tool_args = reasoning_step.action_input
+                print(f"current thought:{reasoning_step.thought} --{tool_name}({tool_args}")
+                return ToolCallEvent(
+                    tool_calls=[
+                        ToolSelection(
+                            tool_id="fake",
+                            tool_name=tool_name,
+                            tool_kwargs=tool_args,
+                        )
+                    ]
+                )
+        except Exception as e:
+            (await ctx.get("current_reasoning", default=[])).append(
+                ObservationReasoningStep(
+                    observation=f"There was an error in parsing my reasoning: {e}"
+                )
+            )
+
+        # if no tool calls or final response, iterate again
+        return PrepEvent()
+
+    @step
+    async def handle_tool_calls(
+        self, ctx: Context, ev: ToolCallEvent
+    ) -> PrepEvent:
+        tool_calls = ev.tool_calls
+        tools_by_name = {tool.metadata.get_name(): tool for tool in self.tools}
+
+        # call tools -- safely!
+        for tool_call in tool_calls:
+            tool = tools_by_name.get(tool_call.tool_name)
+            if not tool:
+                (await ctx.get("current_reasoning", default=[])).append(
+                    ObservationReasoningStep(
+                        observation=f"Tool {tool_call.tool_name} does not exist"
+                    )
+                )
+                continue
+
+            try:
+                tool_output = tool(**tool_call.tool_kwargs)
+                print(f"Tool output: {tool_output}")
+                self.sources.append(tool_output)
+                (await ctx.get("current_reasoning", default=[])).append(
+                    ObservationReasoningStep(observation=tool_output.content)
+                )
+            except Exception as e:
+                (await ctx.get("current_reasoning", default=[])).append(
+                    ObservationReasoningStep(
+                        observation=f"Error calling tool {tool.metadata.get_name()}: {e}"
+                    )
+                )
+
+        # prep the next iteraiton
+        return PrepEvent()
+
+from llama_index.core.tools import FunctionTool
+from llama_index.llms.openai import OpenAI
+from workflow.modules import *
+
+
+
+async def main():
+    tools = [
+        FunctionTool.from_defaults(video_search),
+        FunctionTool.from_defaults(general_search),
+    ]
+
+    agent = ReActAgent(
+        llm=llm, tools=tools, timeout=120, verbose=True
+    )
+    
+    ret = await agent.run(input="How to build trust with partner?")
+    
+if __name__ == "__main__":
+    import asyncio
+    asyncio.run(main())
+

chroma_db/72aecf5e-825b-406a-8b86-2cd424f8ff72/data_level0.bin

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data/txt/blog/27 Orgasmic Blow Job Tips To Make Your Man Explode!.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,306 @@
+27 Orgasmic Blow Job Tips To Make Your Man Explode!
+Sean Jameson, Jenny Fox, Nathan James Diflora, Paul Baker, Bob C, Bj Queen, John Declair, Gaining Confidence, Veronica Smith, Ian Thomas
+2020-08-12 00:06:15+00:00
+This discreet newsletter will teach you how to make him cum hard, give freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.
+
+On this page, you’re going to learn powerful ways to build up to your blow job, AND you’re going to learn 27 wonderful, orgasm-inducing blow job tips that will make your man’s eyes roll back into his head with pleasure. Click here to skip straight to these blow job tips and skip past the techniques on for building up to your blow job.
+
+By the way, this page is the second chapter of the Blow Job Guide. Chapter 1 of the Blow Job Guide is here.
+
+Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It begins by teaching you the techniques to orgasm easily and consistently. Then you'll learn how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. You can find out more here.
+
+Building Up To Your BJ – Teasing & Tantalizing Your Man
+
+Some men are ready and eager for sex or a blow job 24/7. But this isn’t true for all of them. In fact, some guys take a lot of coaxing just to turn them on and get them in the mood, and as your man ages, this becomes more and more of an issue [1].
+
+Here are a few different ideas you should use to get him worked up before you even get physical with him:
+
+Sexy Selfies – Sending your man a sexy selfie while he is at work or is in the gym is the perfect way to turn him on and get him ready for fun times ahead. Using an app like Snapchat is best if you don’t want to worry about the photos being stored on your phone. Check out this guide to taking sexy selfies for more tips.
+
+Dirty Texts & Sexting – While your man is at work or is just out of the house, try sending him some dirty texts, letting him know about what’s on your mind and what you are planning for later. It can be something filthy like, “I can wait to feel you explode in my mouth tonight.” Or it can be something a little more reserved like, “Can’t wait to see you later…and my lips can’t wait either ;)” Or you can describe in detail the blow job idea you’ve just learned and are going to perform on him.
+
+You’ll get more great tips on sending your man sexy texts in this chapter of the Dirty Talking Guide.
+
+Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
+
+Out & About – If you are both out in public together or at a dinner party where you can’t possibly be intimate, then it’s the perfect time to lean across and whisper something in his ear to get him thinking about what you’ve got planned for later. The Dirty Talking Guide will give you step-by-step advice, examples, and tips on what to say to tease, tantalize, and amp up the sexual tension with your man.
+
+A General Guideline For Tantalizing Him – Often, guys get turned on by a lot of things that many women don’t find arousing [2], so keep this in mind when you are coming up with your own ideas and tactics to tease him and build up to a blow job.
+
+This explains why your guy may love seeing a picture of you naked, even though seeing a snap of him naked doesn’t do much for you. It also explains why you might get crazy horny when reading erotica, while it might put your man to sleep. In other words, just because something turns you on, it doesn’t mean it will turn him on, and vice-versa.
+
+His Turn Ons – Your man may have certain turn-ons and triggers specific to him that massively ramp up the sexual tension and his anticipation. They could be literally anything from:
+
+Reminding him of some very hot sex you’ve had together.
+
+Whispering some “trigger” word or phrase in his ear.
+
+Sensually touching specific parts of his body.
+
+Looking at him in a certain way.
+
+The key is knowing and understanding these specific turn-ons of his and then using them to get his mind thinking, longing for what you have planned later.
+
+A Long Build Up – You can spend an hour teasing, tantalizing, and slowly building up to your blow job or… You can spend days doing it.
+
+If you aren’t going to see your man for a while, you can start sending him dirty texts, sexy pics, and stories detailing what you plan on doing to him a number of days before seeing him.
+
+The entire time, he’ll be thinking of you, desperate for what awaits.
+
+Quick Quiz: Do You Give Good Blow Jobs? If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
+
+Not only will your man be eager for a blow job, but you may find that these things work to get you horny, too. Learn the things that our readers do to get horny.
+
+Fellatio Foreplay
+
+It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think [3], even if most men get turned on quicker than most women [4]. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build-up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load [5]…and a bigger smile on his face.
+
+This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:
+
+Hand Massage – This one is probably the easiest to get right. While you are kissing him or just talking to him or while you’re just physically close to him, put your hand on his crotch. So your hand should be resting on his briefs or his trousers. To make it smooth, start by first placing your hand on his leg and moving it up from there. Then just softly start massaging his penis and testicles outside of his trousers/briefs.
+
+It’s as simple as softly running your hands over this area, but you can also get a little more aggressive by softly grabbing and squeezing his cock and balls and then releasing the pressure.
+
+After massaging him for a few minutes, help him take off his trousers and briefs.
+
+Then just keep doing what you were doing, running your hands over his manhood. If you like, you can also softly trace your fingers up and down his dick and around his balls. If you want to learn more hand job techniques, then make sure to check out the Hand Job Guide here.
+
+Talking To Him On Your Knees – Another great blow job idea to build up to giving your man head is talking to him while on your knees.
+
+You can start off with something simple like, “So what do you want me to do now, baby?” while holding his penis in your hands…you can be sure that he’s going to ask you to give him a blow job. He might even give you a tip for a great blow job that lets you know how he likes it!
+
+As you become more confident and see his enthusiasm, you can start expanding your dirty talking, by
+
+Telling him how much you are enjoying giving him oral sex.
+
+That you can’t wait to taste his cum.
+
+How giving him a blow job turns you on.
+
+Of course, you can also talk dirty throughout your blow job too. The Dirty Talking Guide will teach everything you need to know about talking dirty.
+
+So Close – Another bj tip you can do to build up to your blow job is to work around his manhood first. So instead of just taking him into your mouth and giving him a blow job, you could:
+
+Kiss around his crotch and groin.
+
+Gently massage his balls using your tongue.
+
+Softly “tickle” his testicles with the tips of your fingers.
+
+Run your nails over his ass cheeks.
+
+The Kiss Trail – A red hot blow job tip that allows you to move smoothly from kissing your husband to taking him in your mouth is to work slowly down from his lips to his penis by kissing your way down. So you can move from his lips to his neck to his chest to his stomach until you reach his groin area. Of course, this works way better if he is naked.
+
+Along the way, you can pay attention to his most sensitive spots.
+
+Read More: The Most Important Erogenous Zones.
+
+If you want to learn more great foreplay tips, then make sure to check out the Bad Girls Bible Foreplay Guide here.
+
+Should You Start Fast or Slow – It can be incredibly hot to rip your man’s pants off, and immediately take his penis in your mouth, working furiously to bring him to orgasm without much build up at all.
+
+Sometimes we don’t have time for foreplay or may even risk getting caught. That’s one reason why people love quickies!
+
+Read More: Quickies 101
+
+On the other hand, it can also be super satisfying to tease him and slowly work up to your blow job, making your man squirm and beg you to hurry up as you spend minute after minute grazing and barely touching his penis before you finally take him into your mouth.
+
+Both of these build ups can be hugely satisfying to your man, despite being so very different.
+
+The key is applying them correctly to each situation, AND…
+
+Making sure you don’t rely on just one tip for a great blow job.
+
+Of course, you can try out any of the 22 foreplay techniques from this post to keep things varied.
+
+So, the next time you are about to go down on your man, think:
+
+What will he find more satisfying:
+
+When you use a long, slow, drawn out build up where he is practically begging you to hurry up, or…
+
+When you don’t have time for a build up, because all you can think of is taking him in your mouth.
+
+Now let’s learn what blow job tips will drive your man wild…
+
+Tips for a Good Blow Job
+
+You’re both ready for the main event, now what do you do? Try these bj tips!
+
+Flick The Frenulum
+
+
+
+For many men, the most sensitive spot on their penis is their frenulum. The frenulum is the underside of the tip of their penis, where the glans joins his shaft [6].
+
+An intensely pleasurable blow job tip that you can use on him is to use the tip of your tongue to apply a gentle flicking motion to it. While you are naturally going to stimulate his frenulum while sucking him (learn tips on sucking here and here) or just licking his penis (learn some oral sex licking techniques here), this technique is different as you will be focusing all your stimulation on a very specific point on his penis.
+
+Flicking his frenulum can be the perfect way to start off your blow jobs before taking his entire dick in your mouth. You can flick it up-and-down, side-to-side, in circles, or by doing a combination of all three.
+
+Bear in mind that if your man has been circumcised, there is a chance that his frenulum has been fully or partially removed [7].
+
+Blowing Him
+
+Many women are so anxious at the thought of giving head to their man that they just get straight to it with little or no build up and with no teasing. It’s like they are focused only on making him ejaculate and getting that sperm out of him.
+
+Gently teasing your man and building up the sexual tension, so that he is practically begging you to blow him is vital if you want to take your blow jobs from good to great.
+
+Another great way to amp up the sexual tension and have him squirming in delight is to lick him gently, making sure to use lots of saliva and then blow on the wet patch you’ve created. Blowing on the wet patch creates a cooling sensation that is great for teasing your man and making him moan with pleasure.
+
+More tips on licking him here.
+
+Try doing this for about a minute before you take him into your mouth.
+
+Kiss, Kiss
+
+Another great way to start off your blow job is by kissing his cock all over. Kissing is great if you like taking things slowly and teasing your man.
+
+You can kiss his penis any way you want, but it will be a lot easier when you use your hand to hold it in place while you kiss it. There are multiple different ways to kiss his penis, from giving him small, quick ‘pecks,’ to giving him longer, more intense kisses. He’ll especially love it if you give him extra wet, sloppy kisses. Don’t be surprised if you can see precum or semen dripping from his cock at this stage.
+
+You can also use this precum to wet your lips.
+
+Kissing him is a fabulous way to pull back if you feel him getting close to climaxing and want him to wait a little longer before reaching orgasm. It will also give your jaw a rest if you find it getting tired from having him in your mouth.
+
+The Thing With Teeth
+
+You already know how sensitive your boyfriend’s penis is, especially the underside of the head [8]. For pleasuring it, this is obviously a good thing…but if you apply too much pressure, or you are too rough with it, then you’re going to hurt your man. It’s the same for your clit and vagina if you are masturbating, or your man is going down on you. Learn some orgasmic masturbation techniques from Chapter 2 of our Orgasm Guide.
+
+Just imagine how sore it would be if your boyfriend had nails that were constantly catching on you…or worse, can you imagine how painful it would be if he started using his teeth on you as he was licking you out and performing cunnilingus. It would be agony!
+
+The only mandatory blow job tip when giving your man oral sex is that you absolutely must not use your teeth on him. It can completely ruin an otherwise fantastic BJ.
+
+But what if he is particularly well endowed…or you have a small mouth?
+
+In situations like this, it can be almost impossible to avoid using your teeth during a blowjob. The first thing you can do is to wrap your lips around your teeth so that your lips act as a soft barrier. The second thing is focusing on techniques where you don’t take him into your mouth like these ones or by giving him a handjob (learn everything you need to know about hand jobs in this guide).
+
+Side note: There is a small percentage of men that enjoy it when you use your teeth and apply a tiny bit of pressure on his penis, using an almost featherlight touch on him. My advice is never to try this UNTIL your man mentions it himself.
+
+Related: Why 92.6% Of Women Like Giving Blow Jobs [1,114 Woman Study]
+
+Which Blow Job Position Is Best?
+
+The position you use to give your man a blow job can be incredibly important…or not at all.
+
+Here’s what I mean:
+
+Submissive Positions – If you want to act submissive for your man when you blow him, then getting down on your knees or been pushed down by him, while he remains standing can feel quite submissive while your man feels dominant.
+
+Looking up and making eye contact with him during your your blow job while on your knees can intensify this feeling of submission.
+
+Having your hands cuffed behind your back, giving your man more control over you, can ramp this submissive feeling up to the max.
+
+Dominant Positions – Of course, you could push your man down on the bed, so that he’s lying down on his back. Then you straddle his head/shoulders and slowly lower yourself onto his mouth, commanding him to, “Lick It!” Finally, you lean forward to return the favor and start giving him a blow job in the 69 position.
+
+To intensify this feeling, you can reach behind to his head, grab his hair, and pull him in towards your pussy.
+
+Or you could tie his arms to the bed.
+
+Exotic Positions – Alternatively, to spice up oral sex, you could just use a position that you’ve never used before.
+
+The point that I’m trying to make is that the position you give your man a blow job in can add a lot to his pleasure (and yours too!).
+
+The position you use becomes increasingly important if your man is someone who gets turned on visually…and as you already know, a lot of guys are visual animals.
+
+Speaking of being visual…
+
+Mirrors – Another great way to add to your man’s visual experience is to use a mirror.
+
+There’s no need to install a custom ceiling mirror above your bed, but…
+
+Think about giving him a blow job in front of a regular wall mirror or even in front of a large window or glass shower door where he can see your reflection.
+
+Get more ideas from this list of oral sex positions.
+
+My Most Vital Blow Job Trick
+
+In Chapter 1, I talked about the importance of feeling comfortable when going down on your man if YOU want to enjoy yourself.
+
+This next blow job trick is an extension of that principle. You see..
+
+According to one study, the average erect penis size is around 5 inches (12.9cm) long [9] while another study finds the average erect penile length closer to 5.6 inches (14.15cm) [10], and previous studies pegged erect penis length over 6 inches [11] (this might surprise many men; up to 85% of them overestimate average penis size [12]).
+
+Now…
+
+The depth of the mouth from lips to the throat can vary with the size and shape of your jaw. Some estimates put it around 3 or 4 inches in depth. You can figure yours out by using a dildo and seeing how far you can insert it!
+
+Doing the math…
+
+This means that if you take your man into your mouth, down to the base of his penis, then he’s going to hit back of your throat and trigger your gag reflex. This isn’t a problem if you don’t have a gag reflex, but most of us have a super-sensitive one. Get tips on how to eliminate your gag reflex in the Guide on how to deep throat without gagging.
+
+Magic Hand Trick – The trick you need to use to prevent him from triggering your gag reflex is to START your blow job by placing a hand by the base of his penis, so you can control how deep you take him.
+
+If he is particularly well endowed, then you can wrap a few fingers around the base so that you can only take a small section of his penis into your mouth; otherwise, you can just place your hand near the base of his penis or even on his thigh.
+
+This immediately means you can forget about gagging and can instead focus on giving him more pleasure.
+
+Giving Feedback With A Dick In Your Mouth
+
+As I mentioned before, most guys are visually turned on, but what you may not know is that they adore hearing your blow job too.
+
+How can he hear your blow job?
+
+Through your licking, slurping, kissing, breathing and moaning
+
+I’m not talking about making loud, fake sounds as you take his penis in and out of your mouth.
+
+What I’m saying is that most guys love hearing the sounds you naturally make during your blow job. In fact, the noises women make can help their partners orgasm [13].
+
+So if you happen to make a lot of noise slurping on his penis and gasping for breath after deep throating him, don’t think for a minute that it’s turning your man off. Men love this.
+
+And…
+
+If you are enjoying yourself during the blow job, feel free to moan your pleasure, even with him in your mouth.
+
+Podcast: 14 Advanced BJ Techniques
+
+I recently recorded this podcast to teach you the most advanced & pleasurable blow job techniques you can use on your man to give him an orgasm so intense that he may fall into a “sex coma.” I cover everything from BDSM to finishing him off the right way.
+
+Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here.
+
+The Initiation
+
+Who usually initiates things sexually? You or your man?
+
+Think about this for a minute.
+
+If both of you prefer when the same partner initiates every time, then great!
+
+However, most guys prefer when there is a bit of variation…Sometimes he is the initiator, and sometimes you are the person initiating things.
+
+Try to be mindful of this in your relationship, as it can be really hot for your man when you wake him up to a surprise, morning blow job (or you may prefer morning sex, instead).
+
+Equally, it can be intense when he grabs you, pushes you down to your knees, and unzips his pants.
+
+In short, sometimes let him start things off; other times, you should be the one who initiates things.
+
+The same goes for other sexual activities. Discover 9 ways to initiate sex.
+
+The Don’ts Of Good Blow Jobs
+
+I hope that from reading this chapter of the Blow Job Guide (click here for the other chapters of the Blow Job Guide) that you see just how easy it can be to give your man a great blow job. There are a vast number of different blow job tips you can use to give him intense pleasure.
+
+But before you go out and start using these blow job tips, there are a few vital aspects of blow jobs that you should know to ensure that you don’t do anything that will hinder your oral sex skills or lessen the pleasure you give your man…
+
+Teeth – I’ve already mentioned the problem with accidentally using your teeth earlier in this article. Please refer to this section to understand the best ways to avoid accidentally using your teeth on him.
+
+Expecting Payback – I mentioned this before in Chapter 1 of the Blow Job Guide, but it’s so important that I’m going to say it again…
+
+In the ideal world, every partner would selflessly provide their loved one with endless pleasure, never asking for anything in return. Of course, this is a little unrealistic and unworkable in the real world. However, you should never see love making (or blow jobs!) as something you only do in order to receive an equal amount of pleasure in return.
+
+Sex is not a tit-for-tat exercise.
+
+To Control – Using these bj tips or sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.
+
+Of course, this advice does not apply to roleplaying scenarios in which you try to “break” your man or get him to give up a secret by teasing and tantalizing him.
+
+Lack Of Variation – An obvious, but often forgotten blow job “don’t” is a lack of variation. Just like performing the same tasks over and over at the office make for a dull, boring workday, this is also the case for your sex life. In fact, studies have shown that while both men and women enjoy new sexual experiences, men have a higher preference for new and exciting sexual stimulation [14], so why not give it to him!
+
+In other words, if you just use the same two techniques on your man every Saturday night, then he’s going to stop looking forward to it. The key is using enough variation in your oral sex repertoire to keep him on his toes. However, too much variation can be a bad thing too…
+
+Too Much Variation! – So you’ve bookmarked the Bad Girls Bible and read it every day to learn new sex positions (check out over 100 different sex positions with illustrations in the Sex Positions Guide here), blow job tips, and how to talk dirty (read the Dirty Talking Guide here). Every day you’re learning more and more sex tips to give him powerful orgasms. You may think that you should try something completely new on him every day while forgetting about the blow job tips that you’ve previously used to pleasure him.
+
+Too much variation is NOT a good strategy if you want to have a fulfilling sex life. It’s like redecorating your house every six months and throwing out all the furniture and decorations that you like, along with the furniture and decorations you don’t like. But why throw out what you do like? Of course, you should keep the stuff you like.
+
+In short, make sure to try new blow job ideas, but don’t forget about the blow job tips that are already working great.
+
+Now that you’ve learned some tips for beginning your blow job, let’s get started on Chapter 3 of the Blow Job Guide, where you’ll learn my secret orgasm-inducing blow job techniques. Or, if you like, you can go back to Chapter 1, which will give you an overview of the entire Blow Job Guide.

data/txt/blog/Blowjobs What Are They and How to Give One.txt

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+Blowjobs: What Are They and How to Give One
+
+None
+What Is a Blowjob?
+
+Oral sex is the act of stimulating a partner’s genitals or anus with your mouth and tongue. A blowjob, sometimes called fellatio, is a type of oral sex in which a person stimulates their partner’s penis with their mouth and tongue. It can include licking, sucking, kissing, or any other activity that involves the mouth.
+
+A blowjob, also known as fellatio, is when someone uses their mouth to stimulate their partner's penis. (Illustration: WebMD)
+
+Blowjobs, along with other types of oral sex, are often part of foreplay before vaginal or anal penetration. But you can give or receive a blowjob on its own, or during or after intercourse.
+
+Research suggests that most people have oral sex before their first experience with vaginal or anal penetration.
+
+Who can give and receive blowjobs?
+
+Any consenting adult can give a blowjob, whatever their gender or sexual orientation. Any consenting adult with a penis can receive a blowjob.
+
+What is it like to give or receive a blowjob?
+
+Sensations could range from discomfort to extreme pleasure, so focus on what feels good for both partners while you’re discovering oral sex. Keep in mind that each person's anatomy, smell, and taste are different, and so is what they find pleasurable. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, don’t be afraid to stop or change what you're doing, or to ask your partner to do so.

data/txt/blog/Female Orgasm Types, Feeling, and How to Have One.txt

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+Female Orgasm: Types, Feeling, and How to Have One
+Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, How We Reviewed This Article
+None
+You can orgasm from stimulation to the clitoris, vagina, or cervix — or some combination of the three. You may also be able to orgasm from stimulating other areas of the body as well. “Female orgasm” is an all-encompassing term for any type of orgasm related to vulva and vagina. It could be clitoral, vaginal, even cervical — or a mix of all three. That said, your genitalia isn’t your only option when it comes to reaching the big O. Read on for tips on where to touch, how to move, why it works, and more.
+
+Clitoral orgasm Direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris can lead to a clitoral orgasm. When you get your rub on just right, you’ll feel the sensation build in your pleasure bud and peak. Try this Your fingers, palm, or a small vibrator can all help you have a clitoral orgasm. Make sure your clitoris is wet and begin gently rubbing in an up-and-down, circular, or side-to-side motion. As it begins to feel good, apply faster and harder pressure in a repetitive motion. When you feel your pleasure intensify, apply even more pressure to the motion to take yourself over the edge.
+
+Vaginal orgasm Although few people can climax with vaginal stimulation alone, it sure can be fun trying! If you’re able to make it happen, prepare for an intense climax that can be felt deep inside your body. The front vaginal wall is also home to the anterior fornix or A-spot. Older research suggests that stimulating the A-spot can result in intense lubrication and even orgasm. Try this Fingers or a sex toy should do the trick. Since the pleasure comes from the vaginal walls, you’ll want to experiment with width. Do this by inserting an extra finger or two into the vagina, or try a dildo with some extra girth. To stimulate the A-spot, focus the pressure on the front wall of the vagina while sliding your fingers or toy in and out. Stick with the pressure and motion that feels the best, and let the pleasure mount.
+
+Cervical orgasm Cervical stimulation has the potential to lead to a full-body orgasm that can send waves of tingly pleasure from your head to your toes. And this is an orgasm that can keep on giving, lasting quite a while for some. Try this Being relaxed and aroused is key to cervical orgasm. Use your imagination, rub your clitoris, or let a partner work some manual magic. Your cervix is the lower end of your uterus, so reaching it means going in deep. The doggy-style position allows for deep penetration, so try being on all fours with a penetrative toy or partner. Start off slow, gradually working your way deeper until you find a depth that feels good, and keep at it so the pleasure can build.
+
+Combination or combined orgasm A combo orgasm may happen if you pleasure your vagina and clitoris simultaneously. The result: a powerful climax that you can feel inside and out. Try this Use both your hands to double your pleasure, or combine fingers and sex toys. Rabbit vibrators, for example, can stimulate the clitoris and vagina at the same time and are perfect for mastering the combo orgasm. Use parallel rhythms while playing with your clitoris and vagina, or switch it up with fast clitoral action and slow vaginal penetration.
+
+You can orgasm from other stimulation, too The genitals are awesome, but they’re not your only option. Your body is full of erogenous zones with orgasmic potential. Nipple According to a 2011 study, when stimulated, your nipples set your genital sensory cortex ablaze. This is the same area of the brain that lights up during vaginal or clitoral stimulation. Nipple orgasms are said to sneak up on you and then explode in waves of full-body pleasure. Yes, please! Try this: Use your hands to caress and squeeze your breasts and other parts of your body, avoiding the nipples at first. Move on to teasing your areola by tracing it with your fingertips until you’re turned on, then show your nipples some love by rubbing and pinching them until you reach maximum pleasure. Anal You don’t need to have a prostate to have an anal orgasm. Anal play can be pleasurable for anyone if you have enough lube and take your time. You can indirectly stimulate erogenous zones within the vagina using a finger or sex toy. Try this: Apply ample lube with your fingers and massage it around the outside and inside of the anus. Slowly and gently insert your sex toy or finger into your anus. Start with a gentle in-and-out motion, then move in a circular motion. Alternate between the two and pick up the pace as your pleasure builds. Erogenous zones Your body is truly a wonderland. The neck, ears, and lower back, for example, are rich in erotically charged nerve endings begging to be touched. We can’t say exactly which parts of your body will drive you to the brink, but we can tell you that everyone has erogenous zones, and finding them is worth the effort. Try this: Take a feather or silky scarf and use it to find your body’s most sensitive areas. Get naked and relax so you can focus on every tingle. Take note of these spots, and try experimenting with different sensations, like squeezing or pinching. Practice makes perfect, so take pleasure in these areas and keep at it to see how far you can go.
+
+Where does the G-spot come in? The G-spot is an area along the front wall of your vagina. For some people, it can produce a very intense and very wet orgasm when stimulated. Your fingers or a curved G-spot vibrator are the best way to hit the spot. Squatting will give you the best angle. Try this: Squat with the back of your thighs close to or touching your heels, and insert your fingers or toy into your vagina. Curl your fingers toward your belly button and move them in a “come here” motion. If you happen to find an area that feels especially good, keep going — even if you feel like you have to pee — and enjoy the full-body release.
+
+What happens in the body when you orgasm? Everyone’s body is different, and so are orgasms. Some are more intense than others. Some last longer than others. Some are wetter than others. What physically happens during orgasm is: Your vagina and uterus contract rapidly.
+
+You experience involuntary muscle contractions in other parts, like your abdomen and feet.
+
+Your heart rate and breathing quicken.
+
+Your blood pressure increases. You may feel a sudden relief of tension or even ejaculate.
+
+What makes a female orgasm different from a male orgasm? It may be surprising, but they’re not all that different. Both involve increased blood flow to the genitals, faster breathing and heart rate, and muscle contractions. Where they typically differ is in duration and recovery — also known as afterglow. Female orgasm may also last longer, ranging from 13 to 51 seconds on average, while male orgasm often ranges from 10 to 30 seconds. People with a penis typically have a refractory phase. Orgasms aren’t possible during this period, lasting from minutes to days. People with a clitoris may also go through a similar phase. A 2009 study involving 174 university students found that 96% of female participants experienced hypersensitivity in the clitoris following orgasm. Remember, the range of the refractory phase varies from person to person. Your own experience is unique to you. Then there’s ejaculation. For a person with a penis, contractions force semen into the urethra and out of the penis. And speaking of ejaculation …
+
+Is female ejaculation a thing? Yes! And it’s a fairly common thing. A 2013 research review of female ejaculation found that 10% to 54% of participants experienced ejaculation during orgasm. Ejaculation occurs when fluid is expelled from your urethral opening during orgasm or sexual arousal. The ejaculate is a thick, whitish fluid that resembles watered-down milk. It contains some of the same components as semen.
+
+What’s the orgasm gap? The orgasm gap refers to the gap between the number of male and female orgasms in heterosexual sex, where those with female genitalia are getting the shorter end of the stick. A 2018 study on orgasms in heterosexual newlywed couples found that 87% of husbands and only 49% of wives reported consistently experiencing orgasms during sexual activity. Why the gap? Researchers don’t know for certain. Some argue it could be biological, while others blame cultural and societal perspectives and a lack of education when it comes to pleasure.
+
+What can you try if you’ve never had an orgasm before? If you have a vulva and vagina, you know that real-life orgasms can be pretty different from what they show on TV. The first thing you should do is take the pressure off so you can enjoy yourself. Instead, take the time to get to know your body and concentrate on how it feels. You may find it helpful to: Get comfy somewhere you won’t be interrupted or distracted, like in bed or the bath.
+
+Try reading an erotic story or using your imagination to get yourself in the mood.
+
+Massage the fleshy area above your clitoris and the outer and inner lips of your vulva until you begin to get wet. You can also apply lube.
+
+Start rubbing your clitoris over the hood and find a rhythm that feels good.
+
+Rub faster and harder, increasing the speed and pressure to intensify the feeling until it releases. If you don’t orgasm, you can always try again. Trying new things is the best way to figure out what turns you on and how to orgasm.

data/txt/blog/Female orgasm Everything you need to know.txt

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+Female orgasm: Everything you need to know
+Zawn Villines, How We Reviewed This Article
+None
+A female orgasm can be a highly pleasurable experience during masturbation or sexual activity. While orgasms may not provide a direct reproductive benefit, the pleasure may help improve mood and relieve stress. In this article, we look at why female orgasms occur and what happens during an orgasm. We also debunk some common misconceptions.
+
+Causes Share on Pinterest honey and milk/Getty Images Orgasms are a response to sexual stimulation. The female orgasm can result from many types of stimulation, including vaginal, clitoral, and nipple contact. While vaginal orgasms are less common than those from clitoral stimulation, some women have them — with or without other stimulation. Not everyone orgasms from the same type of stimulation.
+
+What happens during an orgasm? During arousal, blood flow to the genitals increases, causing them to become more sensitive. As arousal increases, a person’s heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate may also increase. As orgasm approaches, the muscles may twitch or spasm. Many women experience rhythmic muscle spasms in the vagina during an orgasm. Orgasms may follow the following stages: excitement, during which arousal builds
+
+plateau, during which arousal increases and levels off
+
+orgasm, which causes intense feelings of pleasure
+
+resolution, during which arousal diminishes Many females can have another orgasm after resolution, whereas males usually require a period of rest before having another orgasm. A note about sex and gender Sex and gender exist on spectrums. This article will use the terms “male,” “female,” or both to refer to sex assigned at birth. Click here to learn more.
+
+What does it feel like? Orgamsms can feel different for all people, and they may report their experiences in different language. However, people typically experience intense feelings of pleasure in the genitals and throughout the body. The release of endorphins following an orgasm may cause people to feel happy and relaxed. The skin may also flush. Women may also experience vaginal contractions during and after an orgasm, and ejaculation is also possible.
+
+Why do females orgasm? The purpose of the female orgasm is less clear than that of the male orgasm. Researchers have suggested numerous potential benefits, but few have been rigorously tested, and no theory has conclusive scientific support. A 2016 study argues that the female orgasm may have no obvious evolutionary benefit and that it may be a relic of a time when the hormones associated with orgasm were necessary for a woman to ovulate. Since there was no evolutionary need to eliminate the female orgasm, it persisted even when it was no longer necessary for fertility. Orgasm may serve important purposes, however. The pleasure it can cause can encourage females to have sex. This may also promote bonding with a sexual partner, which does have significant evolutionary benefits.
+
+Health benefits While the internet is filled with articles promising that orgasms improve skin, hair, and overall health, there is little scientific evidence that orgasms offer any specific health benefits. Scientists have not identified any evolutionary benefits of female orgasms or found that orgasms improve health. But orgasms are pleasurable, and pleasure can be its own benefit. Pleasurable sex may improve a person’s mood, relieve stress, boost immunity, and foster better relationships.
+
+Common misconceptions People hold many misconceptions about female orgasms. Some myths include: Women who cannot orgasm have psychological problems. While trauma, relationship issues, and poor mental health can make it more difficult to orgasm, many people with healthy sexual attitudes and good relationships still have difficulties. An orgasm is both a physical and psychological response, and numerous health problems can make it more difficult to enjoy sex in this way. For example, some women experience vulvodynia, which refers to unexplained pain in the vagina or around the vulva. Treating this and other medical conditions may improve sexual pleasure. Orgasms from penetrative sex are common or the healthiest form of sexual expression. Self-appointed experts, mostly men, have long told women that they must orgasm from heterosexual intercourse. However, many women can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation. Women need to be in love to orgasm. Orgasm is a complex psychological and biological experience — reaching and experiencing orgasm is not the same for every woman. Some women may need to feel love to orgasm, while others may not. Studies found people were more likely to orgasm frequently if they: received more oral sex
+
+had longer-lasting sex
+
+reported higher relationship satisfaction
+
+asked for what they wanted in bed
+
+engaged in sexual emails or calls
+
+expressed love during sex
+
+acted out sexual fantasies
+
+tried new sexual positions A person’s relationship with their partner may or may not influence their ability to orgasm during sex. Sexual health resources Visit our dedicated hub for more research-backed information and in-depth resources on sexual health. A partner can tell if a woman has had an orgasm. There is no way to tell if a woman has had an orgasm without asking. Some people make noises during an orgasm, while others are silent. Some flush or sweat after an orgasm, but others do not. A person who wants to know if their partner has had an orgasm can ask without being confrontational. If the answer is no, avoid judgment, anger, or feelings of inadequacy — these can put pressure on the person to orgasm, which can lead to anxiety and make it more difficult. Instead, discuss whether they would prefer a different approach to sex.
+
+What if you can’t orgasm? Being unable to orgasm is a common issue, and it can occur for a variety of reasons. Some people may not receive the right kind of stimulation during sex, while others may have experienced trauma linked to sex. Others may simply be uninterested. Risk factors A 2018 analysis identified several factors that increase the risk of sexual dysfunction, including: relationship problems
+
+stress
+
+mental health issues
+
+poor physical health
+
+genitourinary issues, such as pelvic pain
+
+a history of abortion
+
+a history of female genital mutilation
+
+sexual abuse
+
+being religious, perhaps due to sexual shame and stigma The same study identified several modifiable risk factors that improve sexual experience, including: exercise
+
+daily affection from a partner
+
+a positive body image
+
+sex education
+
+intimate communication with a partner Increasing the likelihood The aforementioned study that compared orgasm frequency among people of various sexual orientations in the United States found that the following behaviors during sex increase the likelihood of women having an orgasm: deep kissing
+
+genital stimulation during vaginal intercourse
+
+oral sex Seeking help If self-help strategies do not work, a doctor who specializes in sexual dysfunction may be able to identify a problem, if there is one. Many medical issues can make having an orgasm difficult, including: a lack of lubrication
+
+hormonal imbalances
+
+pelvic pain
+
+muscle dysfunction
+
+a history of trauma When trauma or relationship problems make having an orgasm difficult, or when a person feels ashamed of sex or their desires, individual or couples counseling can help.

data/txt/blog/Female orgasms Different types & how to climax.txt

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+Female orgasms: Different types & how to climax
+Medically Reviewed
+None
+What is a female orgasm?
+
+First things first, you might be curious about what an orgasm actually is . And there’s a fairly simple top-line answer: It’s one of your body’s responses to reaching the height of sexual arousal (or being turned on).
+
+“During orgasm, the uterus and muscles of the pelvic floor contract in a rhythmic fashion that is pleasurable for most women,” explains Dr. Brandye Wilson-Manigat , obstetrician and gynecologist (OB-GYN), California, US. This can feel like throbbing, twitching, tensing, or spasms in your vagina and anus. “Some women report a sensation of their whole body being involved in the contractions.”
+
+Orgasms don’t just happen out of the blue. They can feel like a buildup of pleasure and sexual tension. And that’s because orgasm is just one part of your body’s sexual response cycle . Prepare for some sexy science now; there are different phases when you’re feeling frisky.
+
+Desire: Having the urge to be intimate with a partner or alone. Your heart rate might quicken, and the blood flow to your vagina will increase. This pushes fluid to the surface of your vaginal walls, giving you the sensation of being wet.
+
+Excitement or feeling turned on: Your heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure will continue to increase, and you might notice that your clitoris and labia (the inner and outer lips of your vulva) start to feel more sensitive.
+
+Orgasm: This is the big O. The muscles in your vagina, uterus, and anus will contract (it might feel like a squeezing sensation), and you might feel a quick release of sexual tension.
+
+Resolution: This is when your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing return to normal, and you might notice a warm feeling of well-being or satisfaction.
+
+Did you know that no two orgasms are the same? They can vary in length and intensity (but more on that below).
+
+What happens during female orgasms, and what does it feel like?
+
+Trying to explain what an orgasm feels like to other people can be really tough. We rarely have anything that we can compare our own orgasms to, and like falling in love, people often say you “just know” when you’ve had one. You might even notice that climaxing feels different to you each time. This is totally typical and healthy.
+
+"Orgasms can feel different, even if you are stimulating the same spot in the same way,” says Dr. Wilson-Manigat. “Some are more like a ‘fireworks on the Fourth of July’ sensation. Your whole body feels like it’s at a celebration. Others may feel like a slow burn, giving you a warm, satisfying sensation.”
+
+While it might feel like all the action of your orgasm is taking place in your genitals, there’s a lot going on in your brain, too. When you orgasm, your brain releases a surge in dopamine , the feel-good hormone. This helps you to recognize what you enjoy and gives you that sense of pleasure. Your brain also releases oxytocin . This is sometimes called the bonding hormone because it triggers a sense of love and attachment.
+
+Sounds pretty amazing, right? This surge in happy hormones is just one reason why reaching the big O is good for you. Keep reading to find out why.
+
+What are the different types of female orgasms?
+
+You might have heard your friends talk about an amazing nipple orgasm or an intense anal orgasm and wondered whether these are different types of orgasms. Here’s your answer: This is actually a little bit of a myth. “When people say there are different types of female orgasms, they usually mean which erogenous zone was stimulated for orgasm,” explains Dr. Sara Twogood , obstetrician and gynecologist, California, US. “It’s not that the orgasm itself is different; it’s the way the orgasm is achieved is different.”
+
+So let’s break that down. If you stimulate different parts of your body, you might reach orgasm. Areas that can help you to orgasm are:
+
+Clitoris: According to a survey published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , around 36% of the 1,000 women they spoke to said they needed some form of clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. You can see part of your clitoris just above the opening of your vagina. It pays to know where your clitoris is, so you can learn more about yours here.
+
+Vagina: This is when you climax during vaginal penetration. A study found that only 18% of female orgasms come from vaginal stimulation.
+
+Anus: You might experience an anal orgasm while having the outside of your anus touched.
+
+Erogenous zones: You have erogenous zones all over your body. These are places where it feels really good to be touched. Some erogenous zones include your breasts, lips, neck, and thighs.
+
+No matter where you’re being touched, if you reach orgasm, your body responds in the same way. But it’s so important to remember that there’s no “right” type of orgasm — we all experience sexual pleasure in different ways. It’s very healthy to explore what you like either on your own or with a partner you trust.
+
+Where does the G-spot come in?
+
+In your conversations about orgasms, you might have heard about the elusive G-spot, or the Grafenberg spot to give it its full name. Did you know that you might be able to feel your own G-spot? It’s thought to be inside your vagina on the upper wall . It swells when you’re feeling aroused and can feel bumpy, a little bit like a walnut.
+
+Some people believe that you can reach orgasm by stroking and pressing on the G-spot. However, that’s still not certain where scientific evidence is concerned. In fact, some research has suggested that the G-spot doesn’t even exist and that it’s just part of the structure of the clitoris that’s inside your body. To learn more about your anatomy and the way your body works, you can download an app like Flo.
+
+There’s no denying that the G-spot is a hotly debated topic. But when it comes to getting intimate with a partner or having fun alone, you don’t need to worry too much about pleasure politics. If you’ve found something that makes you feel good, then keep going.

data/txt/blog/How to Give a Blow Job — 42 Blow Job Tips From Experts.txt

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+How to Give a Blow Job — 42 Blow Job Tips From Experts
+
+2024-04-09 20:13:00+00:00
+We may earn commission from links on this page, but we only recommend products we love. Promise.
+
+“Fellatio.” “Slobbin’ on the knob.” “Head.” “Sloppy toppy.” Blow jobs go by many a name. But whatever you call it, the most important thing to know about sucking dick is that it is a goddamn artform—a creative endeavor, a finely crafted skill. In the immortal words of our lord and savior Samantha Jones: “They don’t call it a job for nothin’.” And while this definitely doesn’t mean that BJs are all work and no play, it does mean that learning how to give a blow job takes time, practice, and some knowledge of what the hell you should even be doing down there.
+
+Hence why we’ve graciously compiled this expert list of blow job tips, tricks, and must-know info for anyone who is looking to hone their BJ craft, whether you’re getting ready to take your very first trip to D-town or have been knob-slobbing for years (because yes, there’s always more to learn). Hello and welcome to Blow Jobs 101.
+
+Related Story I Hooked Up With a Frat Bro on a Washing Machine
+
+But before we get into all the details, let’s make sure we’re all clear on the basics. For the uninitiated, a blow job refers to “the act of oral sexual stimulation of the penis,” says sex therapist Danielle Simpson-Baker, MA, MFTI, a member of The Pulse, a panel of experts for The Honey Pot Company. “To give a blow job, you basically place the head or tip of your partner’s penis in your mouth and start moving your head up and down the shaft.” says Simpson-Baker.
+
+Intimacy educator Taylor Sparks, founder of , adds that a blow job “can include licking of the entire shaft and/or sucking on the penis while also stroking it with your hands.”
+
+Related Story Your Guide to Every Type of Vibrator Out There
+
+As for why people love blow jobs, board-certified sex educator Linnea Marie says that, for the receiver, the pleasure is twofold. “They are feeling the stimulation in a highly pleasurable erogenous zone due to the abundance of nerve endings in the penis,” she says. “Visually, the pleasure also comes from watching the person perform.”
+
+And while the act of giving a blow job may not be as physically stimulating as receiving one, there is still plenty of pleasure to be had for the BJ-giver. “Many enjoy the feeling of power and control associated with pleasuring their partner,” Marie says. Just because it’s a job doesn’t mean you can’t absolutely love going to work.
+
+Speaking of which: Yes, blow jobs SHOULD BE FUN—and not just for the receiver! The number one, most important blow job tip we can offer anyone is that enthusiasm is key. The more fun you’re having, the more fun your partner will have.
+
+“The key to giving enjoyable head is to enjoy giving head,” says sex educator Lucy Rowett. “Focus on what you like about giving your partner pleasure—pay attention to what feels good to you.”
+
+Related Story Everyone Wants to Bang a Hot Guy With a Mustache
+
+Most importantly, if you don’t feel like giving a blow job, then don’t! Again, sexual pleasure (of all varieties) should be a two-way street. If you’re not into it, don’t do it. Simple as that.
+
+Now, allow us to present your complete guide to giving a blow job, featuring 42 expert tips, tricks, and things to know about performing the fine art of the BJ. Buckle up and prepare to blow some minds (and, you know, some penises) with your expert-level oral sex skills.
+
+Related Story Here’s How Much You Can Make Selling Feet Pics
+
+1. Set the mood.
+
+Don't worry, you don’t have to bust out some heels and mood lighting every time you give a blow job. But if you feel confident and sexy going into the experience, the overall vibe will just be hotter. To heighten your own enthusiasm, sexologist Goody Howard suggests playing a little background music. “You want to pick a song that makes you feel powerful, beautiful, and desirable,” she says. “And then you want to perform oral sex to the rhythm of the song. You can even hum some of the lyrics into the penis. It also helps you keep a rhythm for your breathing, which helps support gag reflex control.”
+
+2. Don’t be afraid to make eye contact.
+
+“There is a misconception that you have to close your eyes to show you’re ‘into it’ when giving a blowjob,” says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, host of the Luvbites With Dr. Tara podcast. “I think that making eye contact during a BJ is way more impactful and sexier than closing your eyes the whole time.”
+
+To be fair, there’s a lot going on during a BJ, so don’t feel obligated to incorporate eye contact into the mix if you’re not feeling it. But if you’re into it, glancing up at your partner and holding that gaze can definitely add an extra layer of intimacy, connection, and/or eroticism.
+
+3. Don’t do it if you don’t want to.
+
+For our friends in the back, allow us to make this very loud and very clear: You do not owe anyone a blow job. "Blow jobs should be given enthusiastically—and it'll show if you're just not into it. Skip it if it's not your thing,” says Simpson-Baker.
+
+You do not even owe it to yourself to give someone a blow job for the sake of trying it out if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to go down on someone (or perform literally any sexual act, for that matter), don’t do it. Full stop. End of story.
+
+4. Moan!
+
+“When you're sucking, if you're enjoying it, moan with pleasure,” says Rowett. “The vibrations from your moan will add to the pleasure that your mouth and tongue is giving.”
+
+Again, we know there’s a lot going on, so if moaning is just not in the cards, we hear ya. That said, if you have the capacity, some well-placed (and genuinely felt) moaning can definitely enhance the experience for everyone involved.
+
+Related Story Why Moaning During Sex Is So Damn Hot
+
+5. You don’t have to deep-throat if you don’t want to.
+
+Okay, so deep-throating can absolutely be enjoyable for both the giver and receiver. That said, it is definitely *not* required when it comes to giving head. Honestly, you might as well consider deep-throating and blow jobs to be two different sex acts entirely.
+
+“Don't feel obligated to deep-throat. You will be temporarily cutting off your airway, so if this isn't something you want to do, don't feel like you have to,” say Simpson-Baker. “Some partners don't even enjoy it because it can be too intense or even painful, so ask if they're into it first.”
+
+6. Ask what they like.
+
+Everyone's different when it comes to sexual preferences, so if you're unsure what to do, Velvet Co. sexpert Julieta Chiara suggests simply asking.
+
+"What works for one person will not for the other, so getting down to the core is key," she says. You can ask in a sexy way so that it feels like part of the whole event, instead of just asking for directions. Try something like, "I want to suck your dick. How do you want me to do it?" Watch their eyes light up and their penis jump to attention as they give you a play-by-play of exactly what they like.
+
+That being said, if you’re not vibing with their suggestions or if whatever they’re asking for makes you uncomfy, you can always say no. Stewart says you have to be able to express your needs just as well as you can internalize theirs. And TBH, you never have to give anyone a blow job if it’s not your style. Just be straightforward with your partner about your boundaries.
+
+7. Take some of the pressure out of it.
+
+Deciding to give someone a blow job is a certified Big Deal. But that doesn't mean you have to take all the fun out of it. Instead of worrying about giving the perfect blow job, just be in the moment. Laugh if something silly happens. Take breaks for sips of water. Make jokes. Relax. Remember, this is about connecting and enjoying—not about putting on a porn-worthy performance.
+
+8. Be all kinds of vocal.
+
+Moan, groan, ooh, and ahh. Hell, even throw in a gurgling sound if the mood strikes you. The point is, don't be afraid to make noises or slurpy sounds—it's not only hot, but the vibrations from your mouth will do wondrous things to their peen.
+
+“Channel your inner porn star,” Howard suggests. “Exaggerated moaning and sucking and slurping gives an amazing sensation to the penis, and the vibration from slurping adds layers to the pleasure for the receiving partner.”
+
+Also, dirty talk is a great way to not only turn up the heat on the situation but give your jaw a rest, explains sex expert Kenneth Play . Stare into your partner's eyes and say something along the lines of, "you taste so good," "you feel so good in my mouth," "can I suck it harder?" Whether or not you actually do suck it harder doesn't matter, because they'll instantly be closer to coming.
+
+Related Story How I Became a “Daddy” Girl
+
+9. Pillows are your friend.
+
+Your comfort is key! “Don't be afraid to take breaks,” Stewart says. Do you need a neck pillow? Do you need a different position that's going to help you do the job better? “Don't be afraid to say what your needs are in this situation.” Whether you buy a pillow specifically for sex (yes, sex pillows are a thing) or you grab one off of the bed, pillows are one of the most underrated additions to oral. Not only can you put them under your knees if you're giving a kneeling blow job, but you can use them to prop up your partner's hips, which takes some of the neck strain off of you and provides new sensations for them and new positions for you to try.
+
+Related Story I Tried Those Mouthwatering Mints From TikTok 👀
+
+10. Use lube.
+
+Why would you need lube when you have a mouthful of spit? Because spit dries up quick and lube makes everything better. Not only will it keep things slippery, but if you give your mouth a break and use your hand, it'll speed up the process and prevent you from getting lockjaw. Opt for a flavored lube that doesn’t taste like a takeout bag and enjoy the fact that you can suck a dick that tastes like strawberries. The joys of modern sex additives!
+
+11. There is no wrong way to give a blow job.
+
+You should just get that out of your head now because, hi, everyone has different tastes, preferences, likes, and wants, which means it’s going to vary for every person you’re with.
+
+
+
+“Different people prefer different techniques, and there’s no way to know about their favorite unless you ask or listen to their reaction,” says clinical sexologist Rachel Sommer, PhD, co-founder of My Sex Toy Guide.
+
+12. Take the assist!
+
+“Feel free to use toys to save your mouth some work. A mini wand, bullet vibrator and/or a fleshlight could be a great addition to a BJ,” says Simpson-Baker.
+
+And, oh hi, what’s this? A literal sex toy specifically designed to make blow jobs easier for the giver and better for the recipient? Yep, it’s the oral stroker from Cake, which, per co-founder and CMO Mitch Orkis, essentially “extends your hand and wrist so you don’t need to go all the way to the base as the giver. Plus, it still creates the suction feeling so the receiver feels good.”
+
+Related Story Oral Sex Toys That Feel So Close to the Real Thing
+
+13. It’s okay to be intimidated.
+
+If you haven’t logged much face-to-penis time, the thought of shoving one in your mouth might be a touch overwhelming. That’s totally normal. But if you want to experiment with blow jobs and just don’t quite know how to begin, Stewart and Howard both recommend getting in some dress rehearsals before hitting the main stage.
+
+“Take a class or three, get familiar,” Stewart says. Howard runs an oral sex workshop called “LICK!” in Dallas, Texas, which she says is her “fantastic fellatio workshop that teaches how to add toys to performance and even reach orgasm while giving head.” Not in Dallas? Sex educators in most major cities run similar workshops. Give it a Google.
+
+If a workshop isn’t your style, Stewart suggests buying a dildo. “The more you're familiar with the type of anatomy—even though it might just be a toy as opposed to a penis—it's important just to have the practice and to be familiar so that you're not going in there totally clueless.”
+
+And of course (~shameless plug~), you can also check out Cosmo's very own 4-Week Oral Sex Challenge, where we unpack the do's and don'ts of giving and getting oral sex down to the nitty gritty. You'll be a pro by the end, trust.
+
+Related Story Our 4-Week Oral Sex Challenge Is Right This Way
+
+14. Don’t just stroke your partner's penis, stroke their ego.
+
+Trust, the mental and emotional build-up to an orgasm is almost as hot as the actual thing. This means that, yes, if you are looking at this blow job as if it’s a chore, your partner will know you’re not into it. "Use this time to focus on catering to your partner,” says clinical sexologist Valon Alford , owner of Vitality Wellness Solutions. “Your endgame is for your partner to feel like their pleasure is the most important thing in the world.”
+
+Similarly, Stewart says oral sex can be a way to communicate admiration between partners. And if it’s something that you really love to do, it’ll show—and it’ll be so appreciated. “It’s important that you're savoring the moment and not rushing,” she adds.
+
+15. Appeal to all of their senses.
+
+Alford confirms: “Appealing to the five senses (touch, sight, sound, smell, and taste) is a great way to turn on your partner and set the mood.” She suggests something as little as burning a nice aromatherapy candle or wearing that perfume your partner loves. Rub their back or squirt some whipped cream in their mouth while you're going at it. Get creative to put their senses in overdrive.
+
+A blow job is “not only about the experience itself, but also about the visual aspects, that's sexy for the receiver,” Stewart says. What kinds of sounds are you making? Add some mmm’s to show how much you’re enjoying the experience. Throw in some dirty talk, or just some dialog and feedback. Check in with other parts of your body—can you rub up against your lover's body as you're giving head? “I think all of those things are important as well,” she says.
+
+16. Don’t limit the blow job to the penis only.
+
+There are tonnnns of pleasure spots on the body you can stimulate. One I highly, highly recommend you get familiar with is the perineum—the area between your partner’s scrotum and anus. “It is highly sensitive because it is home to a lot of nerve endings. Giving this area a little attention can intensify pleasure,” says Alford. She recommends using your tongue or index and middle fingers to apply pressure there.
+
+
+
+17. Your mouth might get dry.
+
+Whether you have dry mouth from nerves, allergy or prescription meds, or even just drinking alcohol prior (which can dehydrate you), dry mouth is supes common and you can find a way to deal with it! A little prep never hurt anyone—keep some chewing gum or sour candies by your bedside to help nudge your salivary glands into production, as ob-gyn Wendy Askew, MD, previously told Cosmopolitan.
+
+
+
+You can also prep, like, way beforehand too. If you love giving head but your dry mouth is cramping your style, invest in some Xylitol-based mouthwashes specifically designed for dry mouth, like Biotene or Smart Mouth Mouthwash. Xylitol mouthwashes (remember, stay away from alcohol-based as it can cause dryness) actually helps stimulate saliva production and retain better moisture in the mouth, according to Dr. Askew.
+
+18. You don’t have to gag just to make spit.
+
+
+
+Some people choose to make themselves gag to produce more spit. But if gagging freaks you out, that makes actual physiological sense. According to Jarrett Manning, DDS , an Atlanta-based dentist, “The body’s response to deep-throating is similar to that of gagging, which is a defense mechanism preventing swallowing or choking.”
+
+
+
+Basically, “when these areas in the back of your throat get triggered in such a way, the stimulation goes from your nerves to your brain’s medulla oblongata, which happens to be located near the other areas of the brain that cause you to get teary eyes and produce excess saliva.” AKA, there’s kind of a medical reason it might work, but you’re legit like, hitting the “PANIC” button in your brain to get there. So you can weigh the pros and cons.
+
+19. Not everyone can orgasm from a blow job.
+
+Stewart emphasizes that not everyone will orgasm from a blow job, and that’s totally fine. While movies, books and TV shows might make it seem like blow jobs are the holy grail and The Ultimate Thing that all penis-owners want 24/7, some people aren’t crazy about them, and others like them (or even love them) but they just don’t lead to orgasms.
+
+If you’re going at it for ages and nothing’s happening, and your partner's like, “Yeah, I might not finish from this since I rarely can,” do not take it personally. Trust that they know their body better than you can and try to just enjoy the moment without being so goal-oriented, Stewart recommends.
+
+Related Story I Hooked Up in an Iconic London Telephone Booth
+
+20. You don’t have to kneel if you don’t want to.
+
+There’s a time and place for kneeling blow jobs and there’s also a time and place to be like, “Fuck it, I want to be comfortable and keep movement from where I am right now to a minimum.” If you try changing up your position so you sit next to them, not in front of them, you can change the sensation for your partner, show off your ass, and you might find that it just makes things comfier for you on the whole.
+
+21. Go ahead and make it about you too!
+
+Bringing a vibrating toy into things can make giving head even hotter. You can use one hand to hold it while you’re kneeling and sort of sit on it for maximum control.
+
+To cum while you’re going to town on your partner, San Francisco–based sex expert, therapist, and co-founder of the Somatica Method of sex Celeste Hirschman , MA, suggests lying on your back with your partner on their knees. Turn to the right to give them a blowjob while they finger you. For extra pleasure, use a vibrating toy on yourself. Watching one another experience the shared pleasure can be a massive turn-on for both you and your partner.
+
+22. Just because they’re quiet doesn’t mean they don‘t love it.
+
+This is a problem among people with penises, many of whom seem to have been told, at some point, to literally never exude enthusiasm in sex. If your partner’s silence is weirding you out, tell them so! Positive feedback is helpful for BJ novices and experts alike.
+
+23. Yes, you can give a blow job in the shower.
+
+Most shower sex is difficult to impossible—the literal black diamond of sex locations. But oral sex is both doable and enjoyable in the shower. Have your partner stand out of the jet stream (so you can be in it) and go to town after you’ve watched them wash their bod.
+
+24. Play with the balls.
+
+But don’t do it without first asking if your partner is into that. And then follow that question up with, “And how do you like your balls played with?” Because what people who don’t have them don’t know is that apparently, they’re very sensitive! So don’t go yanking away without warning.
+
+Hirschman’s tip for playing with balls: “Kneel between [your partner’s] legs and use one hand on the shaft and the other to gently pull and caress the balls.”
+
+25. Incorporate some butt play.
+
+Once again: Ask your partner if they like butt play before you venture into unknown territory. And then if they give you the all-clear, ask again what kind of play they like. If they don’t know, check out some of these beginner anal play tips and work from there. This also tends to speed up blow jobs, which, you know, might be a good thing.
+
+
+
+Related Story Anal Foreplay Tips for All of You Booty Lovers
+
+26. You can get STIs from blow jobs.
+
+Which is why wearing condoms during oral is a good idea, especially for new, non-monogamous partners. There are plenty of flavored varieties if the taste of latex isn’t really your thing.
+
+27. Get creative and be playful.
+
+Bring some toys (vibrators feel good on penises, too!) into the mix, or try some flavored lubes. Take a play from Samantha Jones’s book and have them stand in front of a mirror. It can be super hot to watch yourself get it on (why do you think sex tapes are a thing??). Use that over-the-door mirror you’ve had since freshman year of college for dirty purposes and position yourselves in front of it while you go down on your partner.
+
+Hungry? Howard suggests adding some fruit roll ups (yes, you read that right) into your sexy repertoire. Instead of using the whole thing all at once, which could take a while to work your way through, cut that fruity goodness into three sections and wrap one of them around the middle of the shaft. “This will give you an incentive to get more penis in your mouth and you won't be sucking dick for like, a whole week,” she says.
+
+28. Don’t skip foreplay.
+
+For some people, blow jobs are foreplay that leads up to other stuff. For others, they’re the main event. Whatever the case may be, you can blow their freakin’ mind and detract minutes from the amount of time their D is in your M by teasing your partner pre–blow job. Get them all worked up by kissing their hips and thighs, then their shaft. Breathe on the tip of their dick, lick it lightly. Flirt with it! Not only does it feel great for them, but it’s fun for you and it can cut down on the amount of time you’re actually sucking and straining your jaw.
+
+29. Don’t worry about what you look like.
+
+Have you ever seen anyone eat a really big popsicle? Like, put their whole dang mouth around it (which, ouch, brain freeze)? It’s not a dainty sight! And that’s okay. When you’re giving a blow job, you’re not supposed to look super composed and photo-ready. Your mouth is on your lover’s genitals. They’re gonna think you look hot no matter what.
+
+30. It doesn’t have to be all about them.
+
+Ever heard of something called sensate focus? It’s a sex therapy technique in which you focus on touch and the physical pleasure it brings you, and you can totally use it to ease blow job anxiety or just ~mix it up~ a little. Basically, instead of doing what you think you’re supposed to do to make them feel great, employ blow job techniques that feel fun and exciting to you. Oral sex doesn’t have to be as one-sided as its reputation would imply.
+
+31. Strategize to get it really wet.
+
+I mean, there’s pre-ejaculate, but that’s like a light rain shower when a proper BJ usually requires a torrential downpour. Drink some water and be prepared to use all the spit you can muster. Don't be afraid to literally spit on their penis if things get dry. It’s not gross. This is someone you make out with (probably), and trust me, they'll think it's hot.
+
+
+
+32. You can do it lying down, too.
+
+In movies and TV shows, the only BJ position ever depicted is someone on their knees, bobbing their head back and forth while their partner stands up like a statuesque Greek god. This is so rare IRL! You don’t have to invest in knee pads like Stephanie from seventh grade said you would! Stephanie lied to you. Just get on the bed and do it lying down. It’s comfier!
+
+33. Swallow if you want (or don’t!).
+
+No shade to the folks who like the taste and feel of cum in their mouth, but for some people, the sensation is icky. That doesn’t mean your partner’s not a total babe and you aren’t mega attracted to them—it just means the two of you should figure out an alternative cum route. Maybe they orgasm on your chest? How about into a tissue or towel? Chat about it with your lover to find a solution that you both think is delicious and sexy.
+
+34. Use your hands.
+
+Howard would like to remind you that your hands are an incredible BJ asset that can be used at the same time as your mouth, and also in moments when your mouth needs a break. “There are no awards for the best Bluetooth head. You know, hands-free? Use your hands and stroke the penis while performing oral sex,” she says. “Especially when they get ready to cum. You can stroke the penis and angle it away from your mouth and take that time to focus on the testicles.”
+
+Additionally, Stewart says using tools like can make it easier for someone with hand issues or arthritis.
+
+Related Story 16 Cowgirl Sex Positions That'll Make It Your Fave
+
+35. Be mindful of your teeth.
+
+But don’t stress about it. There are an inordinate number of horror stories about people who accidentally use their teeth during a BJ and, like, skin their partner's dick with their razor molars or something. This is not—I repeat, not—a regular occurrence. Have some awareness of where your teeth are in relation to their penis so that you avoid causing them any pain or discomfort, but don’t let it get to your head (or either one of theirs).
+
+36. Sometimes a penis doesn’t smell good, and that’s okay.
+
+I don’t think anyone expects a hard penis to smell like Chanel perfume or a strawberry Lip Smacker, but some people have a stronger scent than others. Anyone’s crotch area can get sweaty and pungent. If you’re concerned about your partner’s smell or hygiene, kindly suggest a sexy shower together before any mouth-to-genital action.
+
+37. Use your tongue.
+
+It’s not the strongest muscle in your body for no reason, okay?! Tongues are sexy as hell, and the chances are high that your partner’s going to want to see yours in action as you lick the living daylights outta their phallus. While giving head, play around with tongue shapes: Wide and flat on the shaft and tight and pointy on the tip are two good places to start.
+
+Hirschman suggests licking their shaft while holding eye contact, and tickling your tongue across the shaft as you go up and down.
+
+Also, you can use your tongue to trick them into thinking they're all the way in your mouth, like magic, if magic were sexier. Just either tuck their penis underneath your tongue or use your tongue to block the back of your throat (this also protects your delicate gag reflexes just in case).
+
+38. Blow jobs are great, but they can take time.
+
+Although people do seem to love them, it’s not something that begins and ends in a matter of seconds (usually). These things can be a lot of work, especially if you’re down there for, like, 15 minutes. You can quit whenever you want though—never feel like you’re dropping out of a race early.
+
+39. Porn has some decent pointers.
+
+Sex ed should definitely be better in this country, but I really doubt we’ll ever have gym coaches teaching good blow job decorum in front of a bunch of confused teenagers. And that’s probably for the best? Anyway. People don’t tend to f*ck IRL like they do in porn, but sometimes those close-up shots of someone ferociously sucking a D can serve as good little tutorials on how to move your head. Just don’t attempt deep-throating if you’re not very experienced.
+
+Once you’ve gotten your porny techniques down, Hirschman recommends trying to create some suction, kind of like a vacuum, right when you feel the tip of their dick get the hardest. “This creates an extremely powerful orgasm,” she says.
+
+40. Literally no one can deep-throat without gagging.
+
+I vaguely remember some girl in ninth grade telling me that all grown women literally swallow lidocaine or the stuff in those Orajel swabs before giving a blow job so they don’t gag on a dick. Don’t do this! Don’t drink lidocaine! No! If you’re worried about gagging or throwing up on someone you like, the solution is to just not deep-throat a penis.
+
+41. You do not have to give a BJ just to get head in return.
+
+If someone refuses to go down on you because you don’t like giving BJs, or for literally any other reason, they suck (except lol, they don’t suck, hahaha get it?). This is the epitome of thank u, next. There are tons of people out there who are going to love the idea of going down on you, so go find them!
+
+42. You’re still good in bed, even if you don’t like blow jobs.
+
+Blow jobs are great and fun and lots of people love them, but if they’re not your thing, that’s totally fine. BJs are just one option on an endless menu of sexy stuff you can do with another person. Blow jobs can be super hot and build lots of juicy intimacy, but they’re not the end-all-be-all if you don’t want them to be. Trust your gut (and your gag reflex) and you can’t go wrong.

data/txt/blog/How to Make a Woman Orgasm, According to Research.txt

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+How to Make a Woman Orgasm, According to Research
+Julia Naftulin, Julia Naftulin Is A Health Reporter With A Focus On Sexual Health, Psychology, Public Health. Her Work Can Be Found At Insider, Health, Verywell Health, Health'S Editorial Guidelines, Renita White, Md, Is An Obstetrician Gynecologist At Georgia Obstetrics
+None
+Scenes in movies and television typically depict women's pleasure as their partners only needed eight seconds before the woman finds herself on the brink of an orgasm.
+
+But in reality, a woman's orgasm is much more than that. In fact, there are many different ways that a woman can orgasm.
+
+A clitoral orgasm is any orgasm that results from clitoral stimulation. In contrast, a vaginal orgasm is any orgasm that results from vaginal penetration. Sometimes, women can achieve orgasm by combining vaginal and clitoral stimulation. But an orgasm isn't always necessary to enjoy sex.
+
+Also keep in mind that although a majority of people who have vaginal and clitoral orgasms are women, anyone with those body parts can achieve those types of orgasms.
+
+Here's what you should know about a woman's orgasm, including how a woman can achieve an orgasm.
+
+Understanding Women's Orgasms
+
+The truth is that the nature of a woman’s orgasm has been a source of scientific, political, and cultural debate for a long time. Researchers have tried to understand how women reach orgasm. It turns out that women can achieve an orgasm in several different ways.
+
+Women commonly orgasm due to clitoral stimulation, also known as a clitoral orgasm. Other women orgasm from stimulation of regions inside the vagina, such as the G-spot, the cervix, or a combination of the two. The G-spot is on the front wall of the vagina, about halfway between the vaginal opening and cervix.
+
+Also, women can achieve those types of orgasms by masturbation or intercourse with one or more partners. But for some women, even if sex is enjoyable, orgasm can be difficult.
+
+The Right Touch
+
+According to one study published in 2018 in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, women achieve orgasms in different ways. But also, most women need some level of hands-on touching to climax during sex. The type of touch—the rhythm, motion, and pressure—varies widely.
+
+In the study, the researchers surveyed over 1,000 women between 18–94. The researchers asked the women how much touching they needed to orgasm and what exact strokes produced the most pleasure, among other questions.
+
+Clitoral Orgasm
+
+While clitoral orgasms may be one of the most accessible types of pleasure, women prefer different types of touch to climax.
+
+
+
+Direct Clitoral Stimulation
+
+According to the 2018 study, 37% of women said they need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. In contrast, 36% of women said clitoral stimulation isn't necessary. But those women noted that clitoral stimulation makes the experience pleasing.
+
+Also, when it comes to specific motions, the researchers noted the following findings:
+
+Two-thirds of women said they prefer up-and-down motions directly on their clitoris.
+
+Fifty-two percent of women reported enjoying direct circular movements.
+
+One-third of women preferred direct side-to-side strokes.
+
+The majority of women reported preferring light to medium pressure on the vulva. In contrast, 11% of women preferred firm pressure.
+
+Indirect Clitoral Stimulation
+
+Two-thirds of women reported enjoying indirect clitoral stimulation. Sixty-nine percent of women said they preferred touching the skin above the clitoral hood. Also, about 29% of women said they preferred being touched with the labia pushed together.
+
+Additionally, 20% of women favored indirectly touching the skin on the right side of the clitoris, while 19.2% of women chose the skin on the left side.
+
+Orgasm via Penile and Digital Intercourse
+
+Penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) is the most common heterosexual behavior in the United States. While many women participate in PVI, they do not always achieve orgasm.
+
+In fact, the 2018 study found that only 18% of women said that vaginal penetration, penile or digital, alone was enough to reach orgasm. Some experts refer to that as a gender-based orgasm gap during partnered sex.
+
+One study published in 2021 in PLoS ONE surveyed 3,017 women aged 18–93. The researchers asked the women about how they make vaginal penetration pleasurable. The researchers reported the following findings:
+
+About 88% of women reported experiencing pleasure during penetration by “angling.” That move involves rotating, raising, or lowering the pelvis or hips during penetration to adjust where the penis rubs inside the vagina.
+
+Three-quarters of women said “rocking” the base of a penis, so it rubs against the clitoris constantly during penetration, increased pleasure.
+
+Nearly 84% of women often orgasm or increase their pleasure through “‘shallowing.” That move involves a penetrative touch just inside the vaginal entrance with a fingertip, sex toy, penis tip, tongue, or lips
+
+About 70% of women found it pleasurable when their partner paired penetration with clitoral stimulation.
+
+
+
+A Quick Review
+
+While there's no formula for the perfect orgasm, research has found that some types of touch are more popular than others. Also, there are many ways to enhance pleasure during sex that may help you orgasm.
+
+Try experimenting and show your partner what you like to find out which type of touch works best for you. Also, maintain an open dialogue with your partner about the type of touch you like.
+

data/txt/blog/Oral Sex_ 36 Tips, Techniques, Positions for the Vagina, Penis, Anus.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,54 @@
+Oral Sex: 36 Tips, Techniques, Positions for the Vagina, Penis, Anus
+Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, How We Reviewed This Article
+None
+Oral sex involves stimulating a partner’s erogenous zones with your mouth. Certain practices along with open communication may make the experience more pleasurable for both partners. Share on Pinterest
+
+First things first Rest assured that, even if it’s your first dive, chances are you’ll be fine — everyone starts somewhere! But we want to make sure you’re more than fine, because life’s too short for oral that’s just meh. After all, if you’re gonna go down, you should do it right. Here’s what you need to know about the giving and getting of oral sex, plus all of the fun and even practical stuff in between.
+
+Let’s set the record straight Before getting down to nitty, let’s talk about the gritty. Yes, oral sex is “real” sex Forget what you heard from Clinton or anyone else about what sex is and isn’t. Penis-in-vagina sex is not the be-all-end-all of sex. Oral sex can be just as pleasurable — if not more so — than penetrative sex. Your anatomy is unique Vulvas and penises come in all shapes and sizes, so try not to spend any time worrying about how yours compares to someone else’s. Vulvas rarely look like a perfectly juicy peach, and penises aren’t usually eggplant emoji-big or smooth. Everyone has a smell of some kind Scrub all you want, but you’ll still have some odor down there. It’s called your natural odor, and it’s fine. That said, freshening up before oral sex is just the nice thing to do. To keep things fresh: Take a shower or bath, or at least use soap and water to wash your genital area.
+
+Use a wet paper towel or unscented wipes if you need to freshen up on the fly.
+
+Avoid perfumes or deodorants down there because they aren’t genital-friendly or necessary. And everyone has a taste You know whose genital juice tastes like cookies and cream? No one’s! We all have a taste down there. As long as you’re healthy and on top of your hygiene, you should taste fine. If you’re still worried about funky spunk, tweaking what you eat may improve the taste of your juice. Avoid garlic, onions, asparagus, and cabbage, which reportedly make for a less-than-pleasant flavor. To sweeten your sauce, try eating: pineapple
+
+papaya
+
+nutmeg
+
+cinnamon
+
+celery
+
+Oral screening should be a regular part of your care plan If you’re sexually active, you probably know that regular STI screening is important. But did you know that you should be getting regular oral exams, too? Your dentist can inspect your mouth to check for sores, lumps, or other abnormalities that could be a sign of an STI. Oral exams are also used to check for signs of oral cancer. Certain strains of HPV can cause oral cancer. You should see your doctor or dentist for at least one screening a year. See your provider right away if you’re experiencing unusual oral symptoms or suspect that you’ve been exposed to an STI.
+
+If your partner has a vulva Common Qs Do you really flick the clit? You can! Lightly flicking the clit with your tongue can be a nice way to mix things up and build pleasure. Think soft puppy tongue licking an ice cream cone — not woodpecker destroying a tree. Should you insert your tongue or keep things penetration-free? That’s up to the person you’re going down on. Some people find the mere idea of being tongued hot AF, but fewer nerve endings in the opening means less sensation. If they like it then go to town. What if they’re on their period or pregnant? If they consent and you’re cool with it, too, then go for it. Things can get messy, so focusing on the clit is probably the better way to go. Know that blood can have an odor and a metallic taste. A dental dam can help if you’re squeamish. Technique Try this: With your tongue flat, lap long strokes over their underwear until you get the fabric — and them — wet. When they’re ready for tongue-to-skin action, spend a little time licking the fleshy mound above the clit. Show the inner thighs some love, too. Lay your wet tongue flat at the bottom of their vulva and lick your way up. Repeat. Flex your tongue and use the tip to lick tiny circles over the clitoral hood — the little flap of skin over the clit. Use your fingers to gently pull the hood upward so you can focus the tip of your flexed tongue on the clit. Start with light pressure and speed and gradually ramp things up. When you get into a groove that they love, keep at it to take them over the edge. Positions With a little determination and imagination, you can turn pretty much any penetrative sex position into an oral sex position. But to save you the neck cramps, we recommend these oral-friendly positions: Lie Back and Enjoy. Have them lie on their back with a pillow under their butt and legs apart while you lie or kneel in between with your face in the muff of it all.
+
+Have them lie on their back with a pillow under their butt and legs apart while you lie or kneel in between with your face in the muff of it all. Control Freak. Lie on your back and have them straddle your face while facing you so they control the moves and pressure — and watch you work for it.
+
+Lie on your back and have them straddle your face while facing you so they control the moves and pressure — and watch you work for it. Almost 69. They get to straddle your face again, only this time they’re facing your main attraction and can return the favor in the way of some 69 action. Safety and cleanup The best barrier method you can use when giving oral to someone with a vulva is a dental dam. This is a thin latex barrier that you place over the vulva. You can order dental dams online or use a condom to create an alternative. Do a quick wash up before and after oral sex with soap and water or gentle wipes and you’re both good to go.
+
+If your partner has a penis Common Qs What should you do if they’re uncircumcised? There’s not much difference in technique as far as circumcised vs. uncircumcised. If you start off with a hand job, let the foreskin move up and down with your hand. When you’re ready to get licky with it, gently pull the foreskin downward to expose the head. Do you have to deep throat? Nope, not unless you want to. Not going deep isn’t going to make or break an oral sesh. You can totally fake it by placing the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth and sucking as much as you’d like without an unexpected gag. Should you spit, swallow, or keep ejaculate out of the mouth entirely? That’s something to discuss with your partner beforehand, but you don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do. If it’s a visual turn on for your partner, having them finish on your closed lips or chin — or wherever you’re comfortable with — should do the trick. Technique Give these moves a try: Start by using the tip of your tongue up and down the base of their shaft, pausing to circle it around their head.
+
+Show the underside of the shaft some love and then lightly flick the frenulum — the little wrinkle of skin where the shaft joins the head — with the tip of your tongue.
+
+Lap up the entire length and repeat. Bonus points if you let them hear how much you enjoy doing it.
+
+Hold the base of their shaft and take the rest in your mouth, then slowly slide up and down while sucking lightly.
+
+Pick up the pace as their pleasure builds. Positions Again, with some imagination you can get your blow on in just about any position. Try giving these a go: Open Wide. Lie on your bed with your with head near the edge and open wide while they stand with their head facing your feet and penis over your mouth.
+
+Lie on your bed with your with head near the edge and open wide while they stand with their head facing your feet and penis over your mouth. Sit and Suck. One chair, two ways. Have them sit on the chair while you kneel before them and take matters into your mouth, or you do the sitting while they stand with their legs on either side of the chair while you lean in.
+
+One chair, two ways. Have them sit on the chair while you kneel before them and take matters into your mouth, or you do the sitting while they stand with their legs on either side of the chair while you lean in. Laidback Lovin’. By far the most comfortable BJ position ever and perfect for those lazy morning blow jobs. While they’re on their back, lie on your side and use their torso as a pillow while you use your mouth and hands. Safety and cleanup We’ve got two words for you: flavored condoms. Seriously, if you’re going for the safe blow job, flavored condoms reduce your risk for STIs while giving you something tasty to suck on. As for cleanup, a shower before and a wipe up after does the trick.
+
+If your partner wants a rim job Common Qs Aren’t you going to get poop in your mouth? We aren’t gonna lie — it’s a possibility. Washing with a soft cloth and soap and water is usually enough to get rid of the traces of feces that linger in the anus. What do you do if there’s hair back there? No biggy. Just go with it, unless they want their bum shaved, but that’s a hole — er, whole — other article. Should you insert your tongue or keep things penetration-free? It’s all about your comfort level. You absolutely shouldn’t stick your tongue anywhere that you don’t want to. If they’re open to it, fingers and butt plugs can do the penetrating for you. Technique Try these start-to-finish moves: Start by licking and kissing their cheeks for a moment.
+
+Lay your flat, relaxed tongue just below the hole and slowly lap up and down.
+
+Point your tongue and use the tip to run circles around the hole, starting with little pressing and getting firmer and faster as their pleasure builds.
+
+If you’ve agreed on penetration, now’s the time to do it by gently inserting a tongue, finger, or sex toy into the anus.
+
+Continue to use your tongue on or between the cheeks or the perineum until they’re satisfied. Positions Doggy style is a rimming fave. It gives you equal control over the pressure and movement to find what works best for both of you. To do this, have them get on all fours while you kneel behind. They can rest their head on a pillow and lift or lower their bottom to meet your mouth. Safety and cleanup Dental dams, tongue condoms, or a regular condom used as a dam will all work for safe rimming. Trimmed nails and clean hands are also important if you’re going to use your fingers in or around the anus. A thorough cleaning of the area in the bath or shower using gentle soap and water is sufficient, but the recipient can also use an enema if they want to. Once you’re done, you can use an oral rinse or brush your teeth if you’d like. Washing your hands and face are probably a good idea, too.
+
+General tips Now that you’ve got the moves, here’s some final advice. Use these tips to make oral sex everything. Ask your partner Asking questions is key for making any kind of sex the best it can be. Be sure to ask for their clear consent before getting started. Asking what turns them on isn’t only helpful, but can also act as foreplay. Questions during oral are cool, too, so don’t be afraid to ask if something feels good while you’re doing it. Use your breath It’s hot and kinda moist, so of course it’s going to feel ah-mazing on their skin. Linger an inch above their skin and let your hot breath tease them into a frenzy. Make some noise Let them hear how much you’re enjoying what you’re doing. Moans, spitting, and slurping — it’s all good! Lock eyes Eye contact while you’re going down is sexy AF. It’s also a great way to gauge your partner’s reactions to your moves so you know what’s working and what isn’t. Put your hands to work Don’t be shy with those hands! Use them to spread the labia for better access to all the nooks and crannies, or to work the shaft like a pro while swirling your tongue around their head. Explore other areas Use your mouth, hands, or sex toys to explore their other erogenous zones during oral play to take it to another orgasmic level. Add lube to the mix Sure, your mouth is plenty juicy, but lube is fun for everyone! Flavored lubes can make oral sex tasty and can make hand action or toy play even better. Take it to the edge Edging, also called orgasm control, is the ultimate tease and the way to toe-curling orgasms. You work your magic to bring them to the edge of climax and then stop for about 30 seconds before starting up the stimulation again.

data/txt/blog/Orgasm & Female Orgasm How many types of orgasm are there.txt

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+Orgasm & Female Orgasm: How many types of orgasm are there?
+
+None
+Top things to know about female orgasms:
+
+There are multiple types of female orgasm
+
+Stimulation of the clitoris is probably the easiest way for most people to experience an orgasm.
+
+Not all orgasms are the same, and can experienced differently every time depending on how our mind and body feels at that time
+
+Orgasms are difficult to study. Similar to studying mood or pain, female* orgasms need to be interpreted through not just biological mechanisms but also psychological, sociological and historical trends.
+
+Historically, in Western countries, female orgasms have been highly scrutinized. Orgasms were sometimes seen as unhealthy or wrong. And orgasms that are achieved through stimulation that is not heterosexual vaginal intercourse have been considered unacceptable by researchers and doctors (1,2).
+
+The viewpoint that some orgasms were superior to others has been supported by healthcare professionals. Sigmund Freud popularized the idea that mature women experience vaginal orgasm while immature women enjoyed clitoral stimulation (1-3).
+
+The importance of vaginal orgasm became so rooted in 20th-century health that an inability to reach orgasm through heterosexual penetrative sex became part of a diagnosable condition in the DSM III (i.e. psychology and psychiatry’s diagnostic book) (4).
+
+Although most healthcare professionals no longer consider inability for penetrative sex to induce orgasm to be a problem (unless their patients are distressed by it), many people feel that orgasm is a requirement for happy, meaningful and/or fulfilling sex (2). Some people also feel that orgasms should be reserved for sex, as opposed to experiencing orgasm during masturbation (1). Orgasm is great, but feeling pressure to have an orgasm, or a certain type of orgasm at a certain time, can make sex stressful and unpleasant.
+
+What kind of research is there about orgasms?
+
+The historical and social aspects of orgasm can obscure research as researchers may bias respondents’ answers by asking questions that imply that an orgasm type exists.
+
+Relatedly, there is a disagreement among some sex researchers about how to classify orgasms (3,5). For example, if stimulation of a non-genital body part causes the genitals to become aroused and the person experiences an orgasm, did the stimulation of the non-genitals cause the orgasm, or was it the arousal of the genitals that caused the orgasm?
+
+Even if a researcher were to do a study using tools that measure arousal, this doesn’t avoid all problems.
+
+People with female genitals have been shown to experience arousal in their genitals but not report arousal to researchers, suggesting that bodily arousal is insufficient indicator of sexual interest or pleasure (5).
+
+Compounding researcher problems are problems of gathering participants for sex and orgasm studies. Enrolling participants in a study is always tricky, but when someone studies a topic that is potentially considered taboo or private, it can be difficult to ensure that your sample is representative of all people in all cultures (this is also called external validity). It also may be difficult for participants to accurately remember or know where and how they were stimulated to cause orgasm (5).
+
+So, why talk about orgasms at all?
+
+Given the large amount of social and media commentary on orgasm, it’s important to understand how our bodies and the bodies of our partners actually work so that we can help reduce stigma and stress during sex. In the process, we may learn a thing or two on how to make sex more enjoyable.
+
+What are the different types of female orgasms?
+
+Different types vs different stimuli
+
+There are many pop-science articles (i.e. articles not published in a research journal) that claim there are anywhere from four to 15 different types of orgasms. As mentioned before, there’s a lot of debate as to how to classify female orgasms. However, there’s little evidence to support the idea that different stimuli reliably (i.e. repeatedly, under experimental conditions) cause different types of female orgasms or different intensity of orgasms. Most people report that “some orgasms are better than others” (6), but this doesn’t necessarily seem to be related to the stimuli that cause that orgasm.
+
+Clitoral stimulation
+
+The clitoris contains a bundle of nerve endings and is located in the front of the female vulva and under the clitoral hood (i.e. the triangle part of female genitals that connects to the labia) (3). The clitoris, similar to a penis, will swell, enlarge and become more sensitive as a person becomes more sexually aroused (3,5).
+
+Stimulation of the clitoris is probably the easiest way for most people to experience an orgasm.
+
+In a 2017 study of over 1,000 women from the US, about 7 out of 10 people who had heterosexual sex said that they required clitoral stimulation to orgasm during that sex or that clitoral stimulation improved orgasms even if they didn’t require it to orgasm (6,7).
+
+The type of clitoral stimulation preferred varied among the women in the study, though many women reported enjoying direct clitoral stimulation and stimulation that involved making circles or “up-and-down” movement (6).
+
+That being said, there was a wide diversity in answers regarding how and in which ways a person liked having their clitoris stimulated, with even a few people saying they didn’t like direct contact at all (6).
+
+Vaginal stimulation
+
+A vaginally-stimulated orgasm is an orgasm that occurs through intentional stimulation of only the vagina. Although the clitoris or other body parts may be accidentally touched in the process, to have a “vaginal orgasm" there would be no intentional stimulation of other body parts.
+
+In the same study described above, less than 1 in 5 women reported being able to orgasm through vaginal stimulation without clitoral stimulation (6).
+
+The ability to orgasm from only vaginal sex may be related to the G-spot, though that is up for debate. The G-spot is not well understood (5,8,9). The G-spot may be its own structure, but it has also been argued that the G-spot is actually a retracted or enlarged clitoris or is a set of nerve endings attached to the clitoris (5,8,9). It’s also argued that the G-spot doesn’t exist at all (3,5). Regardless, there isn’t evidence to suggest that an orgasm from penetration-only is somehow superior to other forms of orgasm; in fact, intentional clitoral stimulation may make orgasm better than penetration-only orgasm (6).
+
+Stimulation of other body parts
+
+There is less research into orgasms caused by stimulation of body parts that aren't the genitals. Because many of these studies are small and aren’t all recent (10), the proportions of people reporting these types of orgasms may not be representative of the rate we would find in a large, representative survey. That being said, these studies do suggest that people don't necessarily need to directly stimulate their clitoris or vagina to experience an orgasm.
+
+Some studies have found that people can experience orgasm through stimulation of the mouth, nipples, breasts, anus, and skin surrounding an injury (6,10).
+
+Research with participants who have severe injuries to the spinal cord and with participants who have epileptic seizures suggest that there are orgasmic experiences that may be induced without direct incorporation of the genitals (10).
+
+Orgasms outside of sex
+
+Arousal of the genitals and even orgasm itself aren’t necessarily just experiences that happen during sex.
+
+Exercise-induced orgasm
+
+Exercise, especially weight training, cardio, and abdominal-focused exercise, can induce orgasms (sometimes called coregasms in pop-science) and other positive genital stimulation (11). This makes sense biologically, as both exercise and sex can stimulate the muscles around the genitals and can lead to increased blood flow to the area of the body. Exercise may also influence our mood via endorphins and other neurotransmitters (12), similar to sex and orgasm (13).
+
+Orgasms during sleep
+
+Many people experience sexual arousal or orgasm during sleep (10). It’s difficult to say what or how exactly this happens. Because reporting from dreams can be unreliable, it’s difficult to say if all arousal and orgasms during sleep are caused by sexual dreams (10,11). Similarly, no research has currently looked at whether people were unconsciously stimulating their bodies during sleep or were being stimulated by bedding or other objects, so we’re not currently able to say if orgasms during sleep happen entirely unaided from stimulation (10).
+
+Better orgasms
+
+The goal of many orgasm-themed articles is to help people enjoy their orgasm or gain new experiences. Although there’s little evidence to suggest that orgasm from any particular type of stimulation is better than another, there are some suggestions in the literature on factors that increase or change our orgasmic experience. In the published literature, people reported that orgasms and sexual arousal were enhanced by:
+
+“spending time to build-up arousal” (6)
+
+changing the intensity of touch, including stopping and restarting—this technique could help lead to a delayed and more pleasurable orgasm (6)
+
+being with a partner who they had a connection with or that knew their bodies (6)
+
+touching or stimulating nipples, breasts, or the anus (6,10,14),
+
+engaging in new positions, types of sex, or new behaviors (6,15)
+
+A happy sex life
+
+Although portrayals of orgasm in media, partners’ expectations for our orgasms, and our own interest in experiencing orgasm can make us feel like we need to have an orgasm every time we have sex (2), a happy sex life doesn’t necessarily mean having a mind-blowing orgasm during every sexual experience. Many people report that not all orgasms are the same (6), which makes sense—our minds and bodies change from day to day (due to mood, health, stress levels, etc.), and so it’s unrealistic to expect any type of stimulation to elicit the same experience every time. Orgasm is just one of many important elements to sexual satisfaction.
+
+*Note: This article uses the term female and male to refer to cis-gendered sexual anatomy. A person with entirely or partially female genitals may or may not be female as their gender, and a person with entirely or partially male genitals may or may not be male as their gender. There are also people with a mix of both male and female genitals, but unfortunately not a lot of research has been done with this population. I’m using the terms male and female to describe sexual organs because there is little agreement on other terms to use.
+
+Article was originally published May 20, 2018.

data/txt/qa/(18F) Sexual activities and physical development.txt

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+A: You're old enough to make the decision for yourself whether or not you are ready. If you feel ready then move forward, if not it's okay to wait.
+Q: Hi, this is an embarrassing question to ask but I would like to get people’s advice.      I’m 18f, recently started college as a freshman. My physical development/puberty is very delayed and I basically have little to no changes still. It is something that I feel insecure and embarrassed about.      Will I be able to have sexual activities in college? Or do I have to wait till I develop? How should I explain my situation to potential partners?
+A: You’re of the age of sexual maturity and capable of consent. If you want to have sex you can absolutely have sex.
+A: You are an adult. You can start having sex whenever you want to. You are absolutely not the only person who is not sexually matured at your college. Just because you are not at the same stage as your peers does not mean you cannot have sex with them if you both want to.      You will absolutely find people who are not sexually attracted to you, but you will also find people who are. You can have sex or you can wait- just because you are in college does not in any way mean you need to start having sex or that there is some ticking clock regarding your virginity. Some people wait until much later in life to have sex. Some people start much younger. You do what you want.
+A: Have you consulted a Dr about your puberty progression? Would expect any girl to be investigated that has no signs of puberty by age 13 and/or no periods by age 15. With regard to sex the only issue may be discomfort as oestrogen is important for increasing vaginal secretions.

data/txt/qa/(18m) semen leaking and extreme arousal problems.txt

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+Q: Hello, i (18m) face a problem with my semen and arousal in global and its getting kinda embarrassing (sorry if the flair is wrong or anything its my first time posting here)      first the semen problems, so its been a year that i have a problems with leaking precum i always have a load of precum in my underwear, i change it often but it still makes me feel dirty, is there any way to stop that or is this bcuz im young and im producing a lot of cum so its normal?      and i also noticed that my cum is very white, and im cumming some big quantities but it never gets watery or translucid, its very thick, is this good or it could be a problem and why does it don’t get watery or translucid?      about the arousal problems, i sometimes cum hand free without even wanting it or watching porn, i just get aroused and then i get hard and cum completely hand free, it feels good but its hella weird, why do i get aroused this much?      sorry if there is a lot of questions but im curious, idk if these things happen bcuz i am young and i my sex drive is high or if it is a real problem.      thank you for taking the time to read 🙏🏽
+A: Do you take stimulants like Adderall because sometimes that can make you leak precum and be Hella horny how often do you jerk off and drink more water I wouldn't be to worried maybe see a doctor at a sex clinic just sounds like your super horny and super sensitive
+A: In general terms, when aroused, pre-cum is normal. Hence the old saying “the kettle spits before it boils” hehehe
+A: For what it’s worth, there is very large cohort in the world of specific fetishes/kinks who literally worship this skill and often are themselves aspiring to learn the skill of achieving a “hands free orgasm”.      So, how do you do it?
+A: Embrace it and find someone who likes it. When I was younger I had the same attitude that you had. Eventually you’ll grow out of it.

data/txt/qa/(f) I think I have a smelly butt.txt

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+Q: Sorry if I go into too much detail haha but I have a smelly butt I think. Not really poop smelly but more like sweaty, musky, buttcrack smelly. Sometimes it smells like absolutely nothing though or just body odor with no butt smell. I can’t really control when it smells like what and I have no idea what causes it. What could this be? I’d feel a little self conscious with a partner from this so it’s a pretty big deal for me.
+A: Honestly, what your describing sounds completely normal?      Sweat, body odour, and muskiness are surely always going to happen. Same with armpits (though probably not a good idea to put deoderant there lol)
+A: Ohh OP do you think others peoples butt smell like roses? 🙈
+A: Shower and dry it properly.
+A: Install a bidet on your toilet. Cheap. Easy. Amazing. You'll never feel cleaner.      Amazon
+A: Ass smells like ass most of the time unless you’re freshly showered so it’s all good, if it bothers you that much, just take some wipes with you and when you’re with a partner you can freshen up quickly

data/txt/qa/26m having difficulty maintaining erection when penetrating.txt

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+Q: I've recently been having major issues when it comes to my sex life. A couple months ago I became intimate with a friend after a decent dry spell. I have no problems getting an erection but when I penetrate or get close to penetrating my penis starts getting flaccid(either staying big but flimsy or outright losing the entire erection). We tried a couple more times on other ocassions and it kept happening. I'm a pretty decent looking guy and don't have issues meeting girls that want to have sex although I don't usually try to get laid hence the dry spell, but now my confidence is gone and I avoid these interactions even more because it is really embarrassing for me. I can have boners while masturbating or even pre penetration it is big. I don't seem to have any hormonal or health issues. I will mention that I am a frequent masturbator and usually masturbate once or twice a day and sometimes can go up to 5. Most of the time without porn. I thought this might be the issue but online I can only see how masturbation doesn't affect ED symptoms. I really need help since I'm currently dating a girl and I know she wants to have sex. We've slept together but I made the excuse that I didn't have condoms so that we only played around. I don't want to disappoint her but I also don't know how I can fix this. Considering that I can get erections it might mean that it is only psychological but in that case what can I do? Any help is accepted.
+A: Sounds like your issue is mainly psychological. You have Performance Anxiety, not necessarily ED. That basically means that every time you go to have sex, you get anxious about not having an erection which puts your body into a sympathetic state, or "fight or flight", which means you can't get an erection. To get an erection you need to be relaxed and in the parasympathetic state. Unfortunately, every time you have this experience, it reinforces in your mind and you expect it to happen the next time. So your body makes you anxious, you don't stay hard, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.      You basically need to break that thought cycle. This is best done with a sex therapist or sex coach, but there are plenty of education materials out there. If you google Performance Anxiety on YouTube, you'll see some. There is also an app called Mojo which is created with the help of psychologists to be a self directed support program.
+A: Not saying this is you or your issue - however,  masturbating frequently to porn can cause similar symptoms.  Needless to say, cutting significantly back on masturbating as well porn could do wonders for your sex life.  It seems counterintuitive.
+A: Kegels exercises can train the slow twitch muscle fibers in the penis and pelvic floor that are used to maintain an erection and provide stamina.  The additional stamina could provide confidence to avoid anxiety.  For information about this, go to Google, and search for “sexknowledgegap” (be sure to enter as a single word and include the double quotes in the search text).  In the search result web page, there is a menu (vertical lines on a cell phone or a list of items on the PC) item, “Ejaculating Too Soon”.  Select it, and look for the “Info on Kegels” section.  Numbered references to YouTube videos on Kegels seen there are available in the “References” menu item.

data/txt/qa/43F can't orgasm anymore.txt

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+Q: I can't seem to cum anymore. I 43F, for the past year, have been struggling with sex. I don't get aroused, have low libido and general dislike sex at the moment. I want to be able to have multiple orgasms again, what the hell happened? Now I can't even orgasm with masturbation. I'm begining to not like sex because of it.      This started a year ago. After a few months I saw my doctor about it. She recommend a pelvic floor specialist and ran some tests for perimenopause which came back normal. The pelvic floor specialist said nothing is wrong. And I'm stuck wondering if, after 8 years of use, is my anti depressant medication causing this? I wouldn't think so.      So reddit, I have talk therapy scheduled for January (soonest available). Until then, what can I try to get my sex life back?

data/txt/qa/A stranger has videos of me on his phone.txt

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+A: hi, um there is really not much you can do in this situation, he has it on his phone now and you can never know what has really happened regarding those videos      the best you could probably do is probably report it to authorities. i get it is a very embarassing to do so but it is all you can do, you could probably anonymously file a report. it is illegal to have someone else's nudes, so depending on how the law in your country is.. that is probably the best bet
+A: You're getting some kind of mean responses here, it might be one for r/legaladvice ? I think this has the potential to fall under revenge porn legislation but it might depend on if the images/video are posted online or shared.      Good luck.
+Q: What would you do if you hooked up with someone and they left before deleting the videos taken during sex and now they blocked you everywhere? Has this ever happened to anyone here and what can I do about it?      He had a domination vibe since our first chat and the plan was basically for him to "own" me all weekend so when he started recording right before my orgasm and promised to delete it before he left, I just let it happen. Then he recorded again when I was giving him a BJ and again promised he’d delete it so I just went with it. But then instead of staying all weekend as planned, he left while I was sleeping. I heard him leave too and woke up, but he told me he had an emergency and I wasn’t awake enough to think about the videos! Now he’s blocked me on all the apps we used to use.      This seems like a very open minded sub so please don’t judge … but if my ex finds out about this, I’m definitely losing our custody battle. What can I do in this situation? I don’t really know much about him, not even his last name or address. I was just trying to do something fun for once and now I just feel so stupid
+A: Honestly, put it down to experience and don't make the same mistake again... people can be really hateful at times, and you should never put something so damaging in someone else's hands.      If I were a woman, I'd have to be in a committed relationship that I feel is going somewhere before I'd video myself. As an average slung man I would never have the confidence to video myself 😅
+A: You've now learned a valuable life lesson: Don't arrange a weekend of sex with a complete stranger and give them permission to record said sex acts.      There's nothing you can do now, I'm sorry. But the whole custody concern is pretty damn far fetched at the moment.
+A: I can't give any legal advice, especially since I don't know where you are located, but where I live, distributing the videos he took would be illegal without your permission, and he could potentially face prosecution. Not sure if it could impact a custody case, but it seems like a very flimsy reason to deny custody, considering the videos were never even meant for distribution, and if they were distributed, it would be a case of someone committing a crime against you by doing so.
+A: This is just one of those life lessons - don’t trust strangers too much. It’s unfortunate that this happened and he’s certainly acting badly. It could be that he does it regularly to make amateur/cam footage type porn and makes some money off it.      You may want to keep an eye on porn sites to see if any new videos have been uploaded, but it’s like finding a needle in a haystack. The good news is, it will be similarly difficult for anyone else to find your videos specifically.      Do you have screenshots of his dating profile? You could check with the police if they’ve had similar reports from other women of him doing this. If he is a criminal, someone might have reported him. But it’s also very possible he’s just a dickhead and he’s using the videos as an ego trip to jerk off to or show off or his buddies for bragging rights.      Basically, it’s unlikely this will bite you in the ass but I understand how upsetting it feels. He’s an awful human being and you’re right to be hurting. When meeting new people for sex it’s always a good idea to get to know them first and if you do hook up, retain full control during sex for the first few times. Bondage and any other activities where you are being made physically vulnerable should only be undertaken with someone you’ve established a high level of trust. This is the way it goes in the BDSM communities as well to minimise bad experiences, and over time you will start recognising red flags in people’s behaviours to weed out the bad actors.

data/txt/qa/Accurate reason for him to go throw up mid sex.txt

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+Q: This is going to be an odd question and TMI, so here's to sex mentions...      I'm a girl who had sex with a man tonight, and it was great! When he was close to finishing, he went crazy intense and needed a second to breathe so he changed the position. This guy then pulled out of me, let out a burp, and I could tell from the body language he was about to throw up. I ran downstairs, he went to my bathroom and got sick. I have a severe phobia of throwing up, so please don't joke about this!      He claims it's because his diet for the past three days has just been beer and pizza. Like, he ordered 3 jumbo pizzas on Friday and he ate all three boxes over the weekend, had 7-10 slices a day along with getting drunk every night. Besides this, he told me last time we met he gets chest pains during sex. But the throwing up was so out of nowhere and unexpected!      Gross I know, just wondering how legit this sounds to you guys? I have no concerns about me being a factor here, I know I wasn't! But after a few days of drinking, around 9-10pm the next night, is this possible? He was great and lively after, even horny for the next hour since he didn't finish and finished right as he got home. I'm just here hoping to death it's not a stomach bug since we made out. TIA, I just need to ease my mind.
+A: That diet sounds like a recipe for disaster during any activity, let alone sex
+A: High blood pressure / his heart can't take the exercise/excitement. Absolutely possible after a drinking binge and unhealthy eating binge, your body is basically looking for excuses to spit everything out.      I hope this is an eye-opened for the guy to start fixing his life.
+A: Definitely accurate. His stomach is full of simple carbs, grease and ick, then he's added fizzy liquid and give it all a good mix up when he was going for it, the result is a volcano exploding 🤷‍♀️🤢🤮
+A: Poor dude lmaooo totally possible
+A: Lol sucks for him. But I guess we make choices. That much pizza, that much beer. Yup. That's a good sign he doesn't take care of his body and probably pretty out of shape too. The only time I've thrown up from exercise is being bag skated during hockey tryouts. Haha. Sounds to me dude needs to get his shit together.

data/txt/qa/Advice in a long term relationship.txt

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+Q: Im 22 and have been with the same guy since I was 16. I love him but I want to feel super wanted, I want him to be dirty, rip my clothes , be aggressive or something along the lines but he’s such a sweetheart and very gentle with me (which I also enjoy) . Any advice?  I don’t wanna ask for it bc I will not get horny lol. Sorry English isn’t my first language.
+A: You’re going to have to communicate this to him one or another. I may recommend saying something like this:      “I really love when you manhandle me and make me feel hot and irresistible. What do I do that makes you want to use me like that?”
+A: If you can’t communicate what you want then do you expect your partner to magically read your mind?      Sorry but there’s no getting around the basic power of using your words. Ask for what you want. If that means you “won’t get horny” then you’ve trapped yourself without needing to.      Great sex requires good communication, especially in a LTR. The sooner people embrace that reality, the sooner they can start having better sex.      What do you have to lose? Use your words

data/txt/qa/Aftercare isn’t a thing in my relationship.txt

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+A: if you guys are having rough sex ALL THE TIME then it’s normal for one to get real tired… so it’s not his fault but you should talk to him about what you want to do after the deed.
+A: After care can exist 12 hours later. Or 19 years later, though that would be unusual.      What I mean is that, if you are negotiating that he has a very strong and sleepy phase/refractory period for hours, right when you have other needs, then at some other time maybe next morning you two should engage in some after care.      Which might include: I enjoy our sessions.  After our sessions, I have needs that aren't being met.  How can you meet those needs so that I continue to enjoy the sessions?      Some guys physiologically just pass out and it doesn't mean they're jerks. It doesn't necessarily correlate with rough stuff or not caring.  But they do need to "man up" and realize about their own bodies that they have a strong refractory period that takes them out, and that they therefore are responsible to take care of the next however many hours of responsibility before they nut.      So tell him.
+Q: I’ve (18) been with my boyfriend (19) for almost a year now.      Everytime we do the deed, my boyfriend always falls dead asleep after. I clean up myself, and I also clean him up. I was pretty uneducated at the start, and I didn’t know you have to pee after sex so I got a pretty bad UTI that sent me to the hospital, but I’ve learnt my lesson and pee afterwards everytime.      He’ll sleep for hours, and I’ll just wait for him to wake up. I feel really lonely during this time. Most of the time I get really hungry, so I’ll leave to get some food. When I come back he’s still asleep.      I did mention to him I’d like at least some cuddles after sex, since what we do is pretty rough. He told me okay, but I haven’t seen changes.      I hesitate to mention it again, because maybe he is not at fault.      When we have sex, it’s mostly him doing all the physical work, and we do it very often. Therefore, he’s probably very exhausted.      Any advice?
+A: If you're not happy with something in your relationship it's never a good idea to stay quiet. Speak up your mind and work together towards a solution
+A: aftercare isn’t really optional. if one person needs aftercare in a relationship, then aftercare must take place. he needs to find a way to be able to give you what you need instead of just going to bed after and leaving you to feel lonely and bad afterwards. you might have to compromise for this to happen but it’s not okay that he’s just not doing it
+A: I’m in my forties, and I’m still learning this one. I’m hoping you can learn it quicker than me.      If you’re not happy with it after a year, you’re still not going to be happy with it after a decade, and you’ll be much more depressed generally. Give him a few chances, but at some point enough is enough.      If you’ve only asked him once or twice, then by all means sit him down and have a very strong conversation about your needs. Be serious and firm. Aftercare is part of sex, especially if it’s rough, just like foreplay, or orgasm. Like someone else said, maybe the aftercare can come later if you both agree; maybe you can compromise that you let him nap it out for half an hour, then wake him up for aftercare, then he can go back to sleep. But he has to agree to not grumble about it.      If that’s too hard for him, or he can’t understand that aftercare is an important step, or you’ve asked him for it till you’re blue in the face, then I’m sorry, but you’ll be much happier moving on.      I was in a decade long relationship with zero intimacy and nothing from him unless he could see the direct benefit. I kept thinking he’ll come round, he said he was tired and maybe he won’t be tomorrow, he said he’d try. A decade later and I was so depressed from lack of touch that my friends were all worried. Took me that long to realise that if he wanted to, he would have. I’m much happier now!
+A: I mean first off, aftercare is more of a BDSM/hard fetish thing than just cuddles after sex...      Ejaculation actually releases a hormone that makes you sleepy, so unfortunately for a lot of guys getting a case of the sleepies is an inevitability. Can you cuddle him while he sleeps?
+A: Aftercare should be mandatory. You should definitely have a calm conversation about it with him.      If he's doing most of the "work"..      It may be a good idea to slow it down if he gets so tired that he falls asleep immediately.      Or you could always find ways to be more active so he isnt doing so much that he gets exhausted.      Other than that you may have to adjust your expectations and have it after he wakes up. You could always try to fall asleep with him, wake up together then have well rested aftercare for the both of you.. because after care is for him as well

data/txt/qa/Age old question - need reassurance and advice.txt

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+Q: I'm 34/f and just starting to enjoy cunnilingus with my boyfriend. I'm so scared that it will smell bad, that it will taste like pee. Even just the littlest bit of a smell like that would be so embarrassing for me!      What can I do here? Thank you so much.
+A: So are you 32,34, or 35? 😐
+A: Hygiene wipes! it’s quick, odor friendly, cleans/sterilizes, the whole 9.

data/txt/qa/All sex positions hurt...txt

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+Q: Need advise, i’ve been with my bf for 4 years, the past year and a half i’ve been having a stabbing pain on both sides of lower stomach doing almost every position except doggy (sometimes doggy) i’ve had previous partners prior to him and never had this problem and even in the beginning of the relationship i didn’t have it. He isn’t going too rough, and i am wet so it’s not that issue. I was thinking i maybe had ovarian cysts or fibroids or something. But i have no other symptoms, don’t have cramps after sex, my periods are very normal and i rarely get cramps. I just don’t know what to do bc it’s starting to become an issue. Has anyone experienced this?
+A: You should 100% speak to a gynecologist. They are able to give you much better advice than reddit, planned parenthood is inexpensive and pretty quick with appointments.      Edit to add: you can also look at a sex therapist or pelvic floor therapist, if there’s nothing medically wrong these are two great options.      If your partner is quite blessed then it can be painful as the length of a vaginal canal is only 4-5 inches (and can lengthen slightly with arousal). This can cause pain when the penis is hitting the cervix, so limiting the length that is penetrating can provide relief. Also going slow and light can make it less painful in my experience.
+A: Definitely go to the doctor. I had similar problems with painful entry and it turned out I had a yeast infection
+A: Was also having problems like this for about the same duration and just went to the gynecologist. They did STD and BV swabs and a pelvic exam. Could be a number of things so definitely get it checked out!
+A: Please see a doctor. Ovarian cyst pain generally won't feel like uterine cramps because your ovaries are separate from your uterus. It could also be gastrointestinal, a genitourinary issue, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), etc.

data/txt/qa/Alot of liquid coming out.txt

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+Q: Hi      Ever since I met my girlfriend, whenever we are together, either in a restaurant having dinner or at the house or whatever, I have to contantly go to the bathroom because I have a transparent liquid coming out of my penis, called pre-cum, same thing that happens as soon as you are about to have sex.      But it's coming out ALOT, all the time, more if we're kissing or fouling around, but it never stops.      Can someone explain what is happening? And is there something I can do to stop this?
+A: You are correct in what it is called. Most men produce some when aroused. It is completely normal. The amount varies by individual. You may be on the higher side.      I don’t think there is anything you can do to prevent it. It’s actually healthy and good it is happening. Just make sure you have some absorbent underwear.      If it happens when you aren’t fooling around or excited it might be something else. As long as it is clear, doesn’t hurt or smell bad it is just precum.
+A: The precum always comes out during arousal to clear the urethra to prepare it before the semen is ejaculated.  It sounds like it is coming out during your arousal, which would be normal.

data/txt/qa/Am I a pervert.txt

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+Q: I've been thinking a lot about how we can connect more deeply. I feel a strong attraction to him and would love to explore new ways of being close, like trying a prostate massage if he is open to it. It’s something I’m curious about, but I really want to make sure it’s something he'd feel comfortable and interested in too. His feelings mean a lot to me.      What do yall think? Strangely, I want to see his dick
+A: You can discuss any desires with your partner and look for compromises. Fantasizing about varied sexual experiences with a partner is not a perversion.
+A: Wanting to make your partner feel good has nothing to do with perversion in my book. Totally ok.
+A: Wanting to explore new things with your partner does not make you a pervert. Talk to him, be open and honest, let your freak flag fly high.
+A: Am I a pervert too?,when she said I want to see his dick ,I laughed my ass so hard my parents got angry for how loud I am🤣🤣

data/txt/qa/Am I addicted.txt

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+Q: I’ve been watching porn since I was 10, on and off, sometimes more frequently, some periods not at all. It all started with some vague SE and my curiosity wanting to know more. It then kind of stuck as the best way to relax/ distract and a way to fulfill my urges. Sometimes I don’t watch it for a while, other times I watch it very heavily. Sometimes I don’t have a problem with it, but other times (like right now) I get really ashamed, embarrassed and upset about it. Also I’m afraid to approach girls, so this is my safe way of doing it. I just feel like I depend on it too much.
+A: Sounds like a classic love-hate relationship with porn. Don't worry, you're not alone. We've all been down that rabbit hole of late night binges and overwhelming feelings of shame. Just remember, moderation is key. Maybe try exploring other ways to relax and fulfill those urges, like exercise or hobbies. As for approaching girls, that's a whole different hurdle to tackle. But hey, at least you know how to handle a good old fashioned hand party.
+A: The biggest symptom of porn “addiction” is guilt and shame- pretty much all studies reach that conclusion. The more “addicted” an individual considers themself, the more shame they’re feeling. It’s completely fine to jack off a lot. As long as the urge/act of masturbating isn’t disrupting your daily routine and life, you’re healthy and natural. The act of masturbating is morally neutral.       Porn videos can be your safe space for intimacy, but the dependency, while understandable, isn’t any more serious a problem than watching romantic movies. As long as you’re aware how porn differs from reality (eg. Women’s bodies in real life are extremely varied, and real life interactions don’t resemble scripted performances) you’re totally fine. Girls love normal guys who are nice and interesting to talk to. The bar is low.       Hope this makes sense!
+A: There’s nothing wrong with consuming it as long as it doesn’t affect your job (if you have one), friendships or relationships. You should always know when to stop and when the appropriate time is to watch it.      And there’s nothing wrong either with finding ideas in porn and wanting to try it out but just make sure if you’re with a woman she consents and is open to it as well. People will say it’s damaging and destroys lives when they simply don’t know how to use it accordingly. It can be a helpful thing, whether you’re single or taken.      I sometimes see stories like this though of people overcoming this and talking to women eventually so don’t worry, you’ll get through it. I’m personally a bit shy and know it can be a nightmare talking to new people so I understand if you’re just not feeling it and porn is your go to. I also have a few dvds myself lol. But yeah, as long as you’re not forcing your porn watchings on others, have fun for now and take your time talking to women.

data/txt/qa/Am I missing a hint.txt

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+Q: I (20F) have been having casual sex with a (48M) man . The sex is AMAZING in every aspect and it just keeps me wanting more and more but I think I might be missing a hint here.      I’ll start off by saying I’m a very fit girl who is also attractive so I do get a lot of male attention and when I am hooking up with someone it’s usually them who would be initiating it more(as in asking me to come over or whatever) or both of us equally, so maybe this is why I’m confused. This man does initiate it sometimes however I’d say it’s almost always me who does it which I’m not really used to and I can’t help but think that I’m coming off as clingy or desperate. Now honestly I didn’t care about this at all before because when we are hanging out he’d keep complimenting my body telling me how it’s “his favourite body type”, constantly all over me, asking to cuddle and stay in bed together etc, but I’ve been really horny these days and wanting to text him but then I realised this. Maybe because I’m a lot younger he thinks I’ll be catching feelings lol? He’s definitely also having sex with other people, he’s a very attractive man so I wouldn’t be surprised so maybe that’s why too? I know I’m overthinking this but if a man doesn’t initiate sex at least 50-50 then I usually would just take it as a sign that he’s not really interested. So am I not taking the sign here? Please bear with me this might be stupid lol I just don’t want to come off as clingy.
+A: I agree, I think that you’re overthinking it a bit. I, personally, would not interpret a desire for sex is being clingy. clingy, at least for me, would be something of an invasion of needed personal space. he might actually be a bit worried about trying to keep up with your needs.
+A: He is much older than you and has likely had a few long-term relationships or even a marriage. Those types of things change the dynamic. If he was in a long relationship with a partner that frequently rejected advances or preferred to be the initiator, he has probably fallen into the habit of waiting for his partner to initiate.      If you want him to initiate more, it is worth asking him to. Just say you find it more intimate when he initiates. Ask him if he is willing to start things more frequently. Just be polite about it, and think of it as asking him if he can help you with a kink you have.      Best of luck, and just remember that long-term relationships, marriage, and age all change a person's perspective on Sex drastically. You may have to navigate more of these changes in the future.
+A: Sounds like you may be overthinking it! As long as both parties are happy and consenting, who cares who initiates the sex? Enjoy your amazing time together and don't let society's expectations get in the way.
+A: I suspect you are missing a hint yes. This happened to me. We had a great connection, good sex. I got attached, then found out he was married.

data/txt/qa/Am I overthinking .txt

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+Q: Ok posting this thru my best friends Reddit because I’m too lazy to make an account.      So I’ve been talking to this guy for a bit and we met up on Saturday.      I told him no sex. We were gonna just hang and see the vibe. ( we know each other but never like this) He agreed.      Things got hot. Anyways, we parted ways. No sex. Just make out and talk basically.      Yesterday we decided to meet again. We both knew we were gonna have sex. We had been pretty xrated thru msgs and he definitely lived up to all his oral sex/manual skills he said he had lol      When it was time for sex tho he wasn’t that hard.. yes was car sex and a bit uncomfortable but I figured he would be super hard with all the foreplay.. He wasn’t.. I tried to switch up positions because I wasn’t really feeling him and we couldn’t and we decided to switch back at me sitting on him (facing him) and I noticed he was def not hard anymore. Took a bit for him to get it up enough to finish the whole thing. He came.      When I got home I msged him and straight up said if this was out of our system now or we would meet again.. he said def meet again. That he enjoyed it.      No neither of us is looking for a relationship, just some fun no strings.      So questions for the men I guess. Why wasn’t he hard? Nervous? Was it me? I figured he would tell me it was done and over with when I asked after I got home, if it was me that didn’t turn him on.. but he wants to keep this up between us..      I’m not sure if I should ask him directly, don’t wanna hurt the man’s  ego I guess.      And if I should ask.. how can I ask without making him uncomfortable?      Also, I wanna say too that the Make out sesh was amazing. But then while we were making out and he was masturbating me, I went to feel him up and he wasn’t hard either! (This was before sex)      I’m confused.. I’m 35 and never had this happen before, usually men are pretty damn hard after and while making out/fingering. Am I overthinking and maybe he was just nervous?      Thanks folks.
+A: Don't worry, it happens to the best of us. Maybe he was just nervous or had performance anxiety. Just keep the communication open and have fun without any expectations. And hey, at least the make out session was amazing, right? #priorities
+A: You didn't provide many details on the car sex, but that could be it. Personally, I haven't had car sex since I was a teenager and I can't imagine doing it again. It's cramped and uncomfortable. Unless it's in a private garage or have an exhibitionist side, I'd be constantly worried about getting caught rather than being in the moment.      Lots of possible reasons why he wasn't as hard as you would have expected though! I'd keep going with it and give it a little more time.
+A: No.  You aren’t.  But he probably is.  It’s likely performance anxiety.  Tough.  Tell him you had a great time and can’t wait to do it again.  Might do the trick.  Just slow down a bit and try a better setting.
+A: Does he have adhd, anxiety, depression, body image issues? Does he watch porn and wonder how any normal man could please a woman?  While he was making out with you, fingering you and trying to turn you on, we're you reciprocating? Society says as men we have to be always ready for sex, always turned on, and always rock hard.  The only problem with this is that we're not actually in control, and a penis isn't always as reliable as we would like it to be. Hopefully that will help you see that his hardness/softness could be the result of several things that have nothing to do with you. If he wants more sex with you, chances are he's into you and attracted to you physically.

data/txt/qa/Any advice on how to keep going following post-orgasm sensitivity.txt

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+A: One approach is to avoid stroking the head of the clitoris directly.  Just trace stimulation in a circle around it.  If your clitoris is not too sensitive before any stroking has occurred, you can even have your partner pull back your clitoral hood and use lube and a bullet vibrator to trace around your clitoris.  This can be very effective.
+Q: My partner and I have a fulfilling sex life, as in I really have no notes, but I’ve noticed that after a few orgasms my clitoris becomes very sensitive. It’s so sensitive, that when my partner touches me there it feels as if he may as well be sticking a needle through it. Usually I’m prepared and willing to keep going/my libido is still high even after this happens, so I was wondering if anyone has tried any sort of indirect clitoral stimulation that works just as well as direct? My primary method of orgasm is direct stimulation of the area, and I would like some ideas on how I might continue to orgasm without it.
+A: Good feeling jealous

data/txt/qa/Are ikea beds sturdy enough for sex.txt

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+Q: I just moved to a new city and am looking for a bed. With the expenses from all the moving, Ikea beds seem to be within my budget for a bed.
+A: Sure, why not. If you put it together well. It is not solid wood furniture but it does the job.
+A: Mines wooden and has experienced lots of sex. No problems.
+A: Sure they're fine. Did you think they're gonna just break from some pounding?      The things is that because they are flat pack, movement will over time loosen the bolts that hold the joints together and you'll get a bit more movement and squeaking, so tighten the bolts periodically when the joints start to move.      My bottom of the range Ikea bed is 10 years old and it's held up fine. Just yeah, tighten the joints sometimes.
+A: i havent had a problem, though i did find my boyfriends was squeaky after a month or so and some bolts needed to be tightened, he also greased them a bit to reduce squeaking

data/txt/qa/As a teenager, i'm really lost and i need to have some reassurance.txt

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+Q: So right now i have a lot of question and i am worried about a lot of things, so please read it so you can help me and please do not judge me for what i like and my kinks, i'm not proud of them but i didn't chose to have them.      I have the Macrophilia fetish/kink. I'm onto that stuff and i especially like the micro size, giantess, povs and things related to breasts, and i also like a lot boobs drop and in general i really like boobs, but the thing i am worried is that maybe i am seeing too much stuff of it, if there should be a limit of how much should i watch it, if it's impacting me badly and i have a lot of worries like that and i really need someone to reassure me because it is really hard sometimes. I know that we always wants more and more of sexual things but i worry sometimes that it might impact me badly and sometimes i also ask myself if i am watching too much of them.      Anyway, thanks to all the people who have read and who will reply, have a good day!
+A: Nothing wrong with the kink/fetish. But too much porn is really not good for you,  too much Anthony is not good for you.      Instead of binging on the porn, get out there and find you a woman that suits your desires.
+A: Look, kinks and fetishes and fantasies are very common, and if you think you're weird, well you're not. The main question always is "is my kink harmful to anyone including myself?"and the answer is no. You like what you like, and that's all.  The only problem I see is that you have a fantasy that's maybe hard to experience for real: if your ultimate fantasy is a 5m tall woman doing things to you, well, there are no 5m tall women of course.      A healthy transition from a fantasy to acting it out in real life is to figure out exactly why it turns you on and how it can be incorporate in a sexual relationship. Maybe you don't need a 5m tall women, but it's some mental image of a towering woman dominating you - and that can be real!      It's all about figuring out the essence of what you like, and how you can meet that fantasy in real life for real sex. As a fellow kinky person, to be able to make a fantasy work in real life with a partner who enjoys the same thing, is magical. Don't worry too much, it'll be fine.
+A: So the question is: is it harming you, is there too much.      The answer is in two parts.  Does the content creation or consumption harm anyone?  This sounds likely not.  It may not be mainstream but it doesn't seem inherently exploitative.  Carry on.      Secondly, how will focusing on this affect your future romantic relationships?  If your goal is to live life alone and masturbate happily to this, then do as much as you like.  100%.      If you have a goal of having a sexual relationship with another person, you're going want to keep your dick in a condition where it can get hard and come with that other person.  And that means not grinding a habit too deeply into your brain.      Does this mean once a week? Daily? Once a month?  We don't know and the answer is different per person.  Shake it up.  Make a habit of say, at least half your orgasms happening in a way that feel and look reasonably varied or like they could happen with another person.  Use lube, use your off hand, use a stroker, fuck the couch, stand in the shower, lay on your stomach and hump your fist, just mix it up.  And half the time, stare at your niche porn.
+A: You just have to find a partner who is into what you’re into. Kinks definitely shirt your available dating pool but there definitely is someone for everyone. Be honest and up front with people as you meet them.

data/txt/qa/Became a sex gremlin after a night of drinking and now I’m trying to walk it back a bit and not be embarrassed..txt

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+Q: Long story short, my (34f) boyfriend (49M) and I have a very fun, active and healthy sex life. We have sex daily, often 3-4 times a day when we have the house to ourselves.      We talk dirty, we text dirty, he lightly chokes me, I give him the sloppiest head. We have used toys, we have fooled around in parking garages… we don’t have a vanilla sex life by any means.      Thursday however, I think I went a little bananas and I’m embarrassed. I should preface this by saying we are very mindful of consent and we never push the other to do anything we don’t want to do.      That being said, Thursday I slapped on a really hot outfit and we had a night out in DTLA planned. We fooled around before we left and we were all over each other at this show. I only drank 3 drinks over the span of 2.5 hours- but as we were leaving, the bartender gave us a shot of something (he took one too, he was clocking out and he said he loved us lol) and it kinda put me over the edge. I was pretty drunk. We grabbed some food from a taco truck and ubered back to my boyfriend’s place.      Fast forward to us going at it again when we got home, it’s kinda blurry but the past two days little moments keep coming back to me and now I feel super dirty and confused where the hell this came from.      I distinctly remember telling him that I wanted him to “fuck my tight ass”, I told him to spit in my mouth (he did lol) and kept screaming at him to fuck me harder and I scratched his back to hell. I think I asked him to “slap me around a little” and I remember him giggle and say “nope not doing that” but then proceeding to grab my hair and make out with me instead.      Basically I went beast mode on him, and then got up super early for work the next day. Friday after, we went to a drive in movie with his kid and were super sweet with each other. The whole time he’s setting up I’m just looking at him like omg I hope he doesn’t think that was weird? We got back to his place after the movie and when his kid went to bed we had sex again but it was much more sweet and mellow and there wasn’t much dirty talk. I think we both kinda wanted to reconnect and tone it down. It was much sweeter, lots of making out- etc.      I’m on my way over there now and I feel like inevitably we are going to at least joke about it, but am I crazy for feeling a little embarrassed? It’s not like I was trying to do anything crazy but I was definitely way more wild than usual. Am I overthinking this?      Edit: Apparently I did indeed overthink it and I should embrace the freak flag. I suppose I’m still a little insecure because I’ve lost a shit ton of weight and I’m looking pretty good but I still feel kinda awkward and unsexy at times. I had really low self esteem for years. It would appear he loved it -I saw him tonight and he was all over me, calling me his dirty girl so… thanks frens. I feel a little better. I kept thinking about it all day at work, I was kinda anxious to see him and bring it up.      Edit 2: because there’s a lot of interest in how we get anything done, we are actually super productive and work on a lot of stuff together. I think he really appreciates me and what I bring to the table. I think me being so supportive, great with his kid, down to work on some remodels around the house with him, cook and clean and have lengthy interesting conversations turns him on. Last week we talked for 13 hours straight, it was crazy. We just kinda bounced from room to room chatting about anything and everything all day. Yes I find him incredibly sexy but I’m also obsessed with his mind. He’s so incredibly intelligent and thoughtful, his brain operates on the same wavelength and speed as mine. Never a dull moment.
+A: Am I overthinking this?      yes.
+A: 100% overthinking. You both were drunk, boy had an amazing time. Okay to feel embarrassed but he probably loved it and you shouldn't feel anything but happy because you had a great time and felt like you could trust him to get to "beast mode" lol
+A: AbsoLUTELY overthinking it! you both got plastered, fucked like maniacs, in the ass, no less, and had the sweet, “Apologu, reconnection” sex the next morning/day. I’d say that things have most likely worked out rather well, wouldn’t you?
+A: GF's and wives need to be a little feral every now and then.
+A: Girl if you did that with me I would wash your underwear for the rest of the year

data/txt/qa/Bent my penis now it hurts.txt

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+Q: About 2 years ago I was having sex with my then-girlfriend when I slipped out and when I went to thrust back in, I missed and bent my penis. At the moment it hurt, and ever since then it’s painful when I get an erection. There’s a slight bulge near the base of my penis now, and I can feel hard tissue inside as well. I don’t have any issue getting an erection or keeping an erection but it’s painful. What might be the issue here?
+A: You should’ve gone to a doctor two years ago… Bruh
+A: The issue is you broke your dick and never went to a urologist. Go to a urologist. If you're in the US, you should talk to your primary care provider first, explain the situation, and they'll refer you to a urologist (that's a penis doctor).
+A: Dude! Treat your little soldier better. It was injured in the line of duty and you just let it sit there without medical attention? You need to go to a doctor. You should have went 2 years ago but better late than never.      You have the whole rest of your life ahead of you. Do you want to regret not getting this fixed for all of that? How many fun sexual encounters have you passed up since then because you were worried about pain or ashamed of it being bent?      The problem isn't going to suddenly go away and nobody on here is going to be able to fix it for you.
+A: pretty sure you broke it a while ago. you you need to tell a doctor. probably didnt heal right. it happened to me once

data/txt/qa/Best thrusting motions for her pleasure during missionary.txt

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+Q: My current partner has always maintained that in general, vaginal sex doesn't do much for her, unless it's where she's grinding on me (forgot what that position is called)      It feels like whenever we do doggy, the only thing she likes about it is that I like it. And when we do missionary, while she clearly loves the physical intimacy, she mentions she doesn't get that much out of it sexually compared to direct clitoral stimulation.      Apart from things like the Coital alignment technique, is there a way I could be thrusting so as to stimulate her G-spot a little better?
+A: This might be hard to picture but I saw it in an amateur porn and really like the move,  it was missionary and he was fully inside deep and while in deep he didn't let up pressure but then would almost what I would call a rocking motion almost like grinding on her clit. He would use his feet to get leverage to push in, then squeeze his ass and rock his pelvis on her all while not actually taking the dick out at all.  It was quite interesting and the woman was very very happy with his techniques!!
+A: You seem to be under the idea that her gspot is this secret erogenous button but the reality is that your partner is part of the majority of women who need clitoral stimulation to reach climax. Trying to stimulate anywhere inside likely isn’t going to do much if you’re ignoring the importance of the clit. That’s why she likes the grinding: that’s how she gets clit stimulation during PIV.

data/txt/qa/Bf told me his ego would get hurt if he begs.txt

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+Q: I (f) and my bf have been joking around when we were having our conversation. He then inserted in our conversation that he wants more of me looking at him when giving him a head. So when he said that, in my mind, I was thinking that I will find it so sexy if he begs for it. So I told him to beg jokingly, and he refuses to, and I told him that maybe he doesnt want it enough. But he said that he has always wanted it. So I said then beg for it. Later on, I could feel that the atmosphere was changing so I asked why he wouldn't. I asked if begging would hurt his ego. When he said yes I thought it was a joke so I asked him again and this time I told him that if he's serious that it would hurt his ego, and he still said yes.      I just don't understand why it would hurt his ego, and when there are times I would beg for something I won't mind it. I just thought that it's sexy if he would but now it would hurt his ego. Also in his defense, he said it's the one thing a man would not beg for let alone ask for. But it's fine if I beg? I'm so confused and I don't understand why I feel it's unfair . . .      Edit: I spoke to my bf about it. And to him, he can beg anything related to sex, but the only exception is when I'm guving him a head. The reason he likes being dominant is because he wants me to be serving him. And to add to that, as someone who is being served, there is no need for him to ask for any favours. So when it comes to head, he is the one being in control. But besides head, he's okay to beg for sex. And I believe it's a valid reasonas to why he doesn't want to beg.      And for context, I keep telling him that my role in our relationship is to be the one serving him while he protects and provides for me. And when it comes to sex life, I like being submissive too.
+A: I do a lot of dominant/submissive play and I notice that begging is something that lots of people have a strong reaction to. The thing about begging is that it can have the implication that you have to beg for the thing because the other person doesn’t really want to do it. He could be thinking that if he begs for you to look at him, it could make him feel like you don’t really want to do it and are reluctantly giving into his begging. It could also make him feel powerless, embarrassed, small, greedy, desperate - all feelings that some people find really hot and other people find really uncomfortable and not sexy.      The fact that he said that this particular thing is something he’s reluctant to even ask for makes me think that he sees you looking at him during a blowjob as something that’s hot because it symbolizes your desire for him and your enthusiasm, that you’re doing it because you want to. So it would change that dynamic a lot to  introduce the power element of begging - then it becomes something he wants that you’re granting him.
+A: You would find it sexy but not everyone does. I would find it pretty off-putting if I asked my girlfriend to do something in bed and she told me to beg for it. I want to feel like we are both equally invested in eachothers pleasure and being told to beg for something would make me feel like I'm beneath her and she would only decide to grace me with the pleasure I want if I begged enough that she deemed me worthy.      For me it has nothing to do with being a man or a woman. I think the idea that he won't because "a man would not ask or beg for it" is just silly. Some people like being dominant and some like being submissive, it's not specifically a gender thing.      Not everyone would agree with my view, but that's just my perspective on it.
+A: Some people just don't like to be submissiv. Doesn't matter if they are male or female.
+A: I may be way off because this is more a feeling than I have support for.  But the asking for you to look at him is asking for mildly submissive behavior.  And the. You ask him for submissive behavior back.  Which sounds fair, but if he wan to be a little dom and have you be a little sub you would be completely undermining that dynamic.  And he may not understand that that’s what he’s asking for.  And the dom/sub may be ego driven.  He wants to feel powerful and manly, asks for it, and you immediately ask him to be submissive instead.  Maybe something to ask him about.  Or again I may be way off since I’m basing this on very little real information and just a gut feeling.

data/txt/qa/Boundaries when sharing a partner.txt

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+Q: Is it typical or smart to usually set boundaries before sharing a partner. More specifically, if my fiance (24F) and I (30M) have a threesome with another girl, would making out with her while having sex too much or vice versa, her with another guy.      I’m not a very jealous person but I’m not sure how it would during a threesome and watching it and for her as well.      I just personally love kissing and having sex together and would like to with a friend she has mentioned .
+A: Yes, boundaries are best discussed beforehand. It may be something you won’t know until you explore but keep your communication open constantly.
+A: NEVER have group sex without first having a thorough discussion of boundaries, etc. unless you are fully prepared for any emotional fallout that may follow. It’s a recipe for disaster.

data/txt/qa/Boyfriend’s Performance with Me.txt

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+A: So why cant he just masturbate with you? If he is saying he “has” to orgasm by looking at strange women he has absolutely no connection with and never will on social media then it’s a porn addiction. If he says he’s having trouble finishing and wants to masturbate then you or he can do that, if he wants the visual you can pose for him if that helps the arousal
+Q: My boyfriend of almost a year, whom I love very much, says he is very attracted to me, but when we have sex he struggles to get an erection and reach orgasm. He sometimes uses his helper pills to help with the erection, but he very rarely reaches orgasm with me. He says the issue stems from the fact that his ex wife thought ejaculate was “disgusting” and didn’t want him to cum inside of her. So he began relying on pictures of women on Reddit more often than before to reach orgasm on his own time. This soon became very frequent. He gets an erection and ejaculates easily doing this. He feels horrible about it because he can’t do the same having sex with me. I just don’t feel like I can compete with these women on the Reddit sub he views. I feel so inadequate for him. What can I do to help remedy this situation?
+A: As an exercise, take the reddit porn women that you feel you don't measure up to - take that completely out of the equation.  For whatever reason, he has gotten into a habit of masturbating with let's say a green sock while pulling on his left ear.  He gets erection and ejaculates easily this way but not with you.  You say he feels terrible and wants to change.      What do we know?  We know his dick works, physically.  We know he has an ingrained habit that his dick is accustomed to.  If he actually wants to retrain his dick to act on command instead of needing the green sock and ear pulling, this is straightforward behavioral conditioning.   With a reasonably healthy man's body if the dick works it'll naturally exercise itself.  If the old method, the green sock and ear pulling go away, he will have more wet dreams and his trigger will get easier in other situations, more in the habit of coming reliably and easily with what he chooses to do. It will be a frustrating several weeks and he'll be very tempted to fall back on the sock because it's easy and comfortable and pleasant.  It'll go faster the more strictly he avoids the green sock.      It's not a judgment about porn or his past relationship.  This is how forming and choosing to change any masturbation habit works.      So the ball is in his court.  There's very little you can do. If he wants this to change, he has the power.
+A: He needs to take responsibility for his porn addiction.  His past relationship may have done some damage, but he owes it to you and himself to face this head on.  He has a choice to make between redit porn and your relationship.
+A: It's likely all just in his head, it's very hard for me to orgasm when my partner gives me oral sex and they take it very personally.      It's probably just the sort of order thing they need to work out over time, if they can. As best as you can try not to take it personally, but that's obviously easier said they're done
+A: I didn't know there are pictures of women on reddit.....where can I find these pictures..

data/txt/qa/Bringing up ex in bed.txt

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+Q: Is it normal for your[22F] SO[27M] to bring up their sex life with their ex in bed? I am new to sex. I get posterior fourchette cuts during sex and it makes it painful. He told to me that his ex used to get the same, while he was still inside me. It might be harmless, but I still felt somewhat upset and turned off.  Maybe I should just be honest to him. But is it a normal thing? Asking out of inexperience.
+A: He’s trying to let you know that he understands. Let him know you don’t like it and I’m sure he’ll stop.
+A: Try not to focus on "normal" but rather on how you feel. Apparently it made you uncomfortable.  You should tell him.      You could say something like "hey bae, you mentioned your ex the other day during sex  and it was a big turn off. Maybe you were trying to make me feel less like an outlier with my condition when you mentioned she had the same thing. And I appreciate that, but next time you want to share something about an ex, just try and do that when we aren't fucking."

data/txt/qa/Butt plug hurts!.txt

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+Q: I’m new to anal play but I tried to wear my butt plug while my bf did PiV in doggy style but we found it awkward as he couldn’t get in properly because it was pushing against the walls on the inside (which was awkward for both of us!) and what made it even more uncomfortable for him was the metal gem part was rubbing against his shaft when he trying to push it in me.. so we had to stop      Any advice what other plugs to try?
+A: T base please! Those metal gems are cute, but not safe. It can get sucked inside, especially during sex.
+A: I'm a huge fan of Squarepeg's egg plug, they make some pretty small ones, but they are so super soft I think you'll find they work well for this.       I've got an XL for fisting prep and it's comfortable enough to wear all day.
+A: You could try a graduated butt plug set and work you way up the sizes.      The more aroused you are will help. I find having piv first, have him pull out, insert the plug and then for him to enter you again works best for me.

data/txt/qa/Can a condom cause pain like this.txt

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+Q: Tonight my wife and I used a condom from a box in our nightstand. I noticed the corner of the wrapper was torn because the last time I tore off a condom it ripped weird (the condom pack wasn’t perforated very well so tearing one from the bunch was a bit difficult).      Anyways, I disregarded it and used the condom anyways. It felt lubed but after only a few minutes I had to stop becausd my tip was stinging really badly. Pulling the condom off was hard and Just touching it hurt. After I peed it stung really bad too.      Is it possible the condom was partially dried out and transferred something to me to make me burn?
+A: This is weird; the symptoms you describe sound like a possible micro-tear, or alternatively, exposure to an irritant. If you are sure the condom was sealed and you know you don't react to the condoms or the lube on them, and you didn't handle any other new substance that could cause such a reaction, then that rules out any sort of new irritant. It could be that when you ripped the condom wrapper, somehow you did something that made a sharp edge somewhere and maybe when putting the condom on it caused an abrasion near the tip. Or it could be that if the package were ripped open, some sort of other irritant in the environment (household cleaner maybe?) got into it. That's the only thing I could imagine.      Genitals can be surprisingly sensitive, things that don't normally cause much pain can cause a lot of pain there, like I had once been cooking and handled hot peppers, hadn't washed hands, then touched that area. BIG OOPS. Very very painful. Just to give you an idea...extra sensitive so things you normally wouldn't react to can cause severe pain in that area.

data/txt/qa/Can kegels_pelvic floor physical therapy really help with orgasms and does it really tighten up the vaginal canal Looking for real life testimonials..txt

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+Q: 41F having underwhelming, weaker orgasms than I used to. I also am concerned that I never recovered my tightness after giving birth almost a decade ago after a recent conversation I had with my partner where he mentioned it wasn’t as tight as it once was (he wasn’t being rude as I inquired and appreciated his honest feedback.)      I was referred to pelvic floor physical therapy (PFPT) after telling my Dr. that I’m having some urinary incontinence issues and she mentioned it might help with the above mentioned issues as well. The thing is, my work schedule is really busy and taking time for this is going to really affect my job so I want to make sure it’s going to actually be worth it.      Women: have you actually been able to increase the intensity of your orgasms with PFPT?      Men: have you had partners who have gone to PFPT and actually tightened their vaginas in a way that was noticeable to you? Or have any of you been with a partner who was able to tighten theirs with any method other than surgery that was actually noticeable to you?
+A: DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, I've never been pregnant or given birth, I didn't do PFPT specifically, and my PT is covered by insurance so I don't really have to pay for it (meaning whether it's "worth it" or not might seem different if I had to pay out of pocket). Our situations are pretty different, so I don't know if I'm a helpful data point, but here's my experience.      I've noticed changes in sexual pleasure since starting Kegels as part of PT for overall strength building. I'm on week 31 and I do them at the same time as my ab work, two sets of thirty every other day. Easy peasy.      Unless I am mistaken, it doesn't "make your pussy tighter", rather it increases the strength of those muscles and you will develop more conscious control of them. I'm also under the impression that like with all muscle training, the effects last as long as you continue the work, so if I just stopped doing them, I'd probably go back to what my baseline was before.      Before I wasn't able to come during PIV, it was *too distracting" from the clit stimulation that did get me off. Now it feels great for me to squeeze and release things inside me and I can orgasm while being penetrated.      Everyone is different, but it's such an easy exercise to do basically anytime anyplace that for me it's definitely been worth it.
+A: Personally I have never seen the affects of kegels but have had conversations about this with a female friend and she swore by them. Definitely worth a try before going the surgery route IMO.
+A: I’m 33, had 1 baby, currently 35 weeks pregnant with my second.      I have been doing kegels since I was like 14. I read about it in a silly woman’s magazine, but looked it up later on the internet. I didn’t want to have a weak pelvic floor, lol. I bought kegel exercise-device things, but I rarely use them. I just do kegels throughout my day.      I have strong orgasms, and have not had any pregnancy or postpartum urine leakage. My sister (who definitely doesn’t do kegels) can’t even jump on a trampoline postpartum x 8 years.      ETA: it took ~1yr for my posterior vagina to feel ‘normal’ after birth of my first baby. The entrance/tightness was normal.

data/txt/qa/Can't figure out positions that work right.txt

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+Q: I am a 29m that just recently lost my virginity, so I've had sex a total of 5 times. I am dating a 30f who is somewhat inexperienced but not as inexperienced as me. I am relatively small (4 in). Both her and I are heavier (I am 225 lb)      We have had plenty plenty of fun with oral and toys over the past few months but we recently moved into piv sex. All five times we have started and finished with missionary. This position works well for us.      Other positions don't seem to work and I don't know if it is my penis size, my weight, or just inexperience from both of us. For example, we have tried doggy a few times but it is a struggle to find the correct angle and when we did, I would just pop out quickly, starting the struggle all over again.      She seems more than willing to try most positions but I don't think she is ready to be on top. I am unsure why but I'm willing to work around that.      Does this community have any positions or pointers for us to figure out how to make this work?
+A: Okay, this advice may seem harsh but I found it to be true in my own experience.      Lose the weight.  Get a gym membership, do compound lifts, supplement with cardio, and clean up your diet.  It has SO many health benefits and sexual benefits.  Like beyond belief.      I was 300 lbs until I started getting laid at 15.  Dropped down to a modest 195 by the time I was 17.  Night and day difference.  I assume you're shorter?  225 is about where my weight is now and not too far from a healthy weight for someone my height and body composition -- ideally I should be around 180-205.      You will find you have more stamina, your penis will be less buried in body fat, and you will feel 100% better.      It's basically the only way men can "add size" without surgery.  So while you say you're small, it may just be that your two-guy is actually a little bigger, but there's adipose tissue in the way of you realizing your true potential.      If your lady follows this advice, it's basically the same effect for her vagina.  There's less in between your junk which means deeper and more meaningful contact.      r/loseit is one of my favorite weight loss support subs.

data/txt/qa/Can't stay into silent partners.txt

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+Q: So I'm pan and in my thirties and it's really challenging for me to navigate one aspect of dating that I keep running into. I meet people and enjoy their company but sometimes the really quiet ones are nearly impossible for me to stay interested in for the long term because they rarely ever communicate much during sex. It's just near total silence the entire time and there isn't even any notice or loud noises or anything when they're finishing. I on the other hand am a normal amount of vocal and enjoy switching so while I'm ok directing what happens sometimes it's very challenging to stay interested in totally silent people.      The current guy that I'm seeing is very quiet and protective and the first time we hooked up we went multiple rounds and had a great time but I needed to be in the driver's seat the entire time and direct everything. The 2nd time he said he enjoyed being dominant and in control so I took more of a backseat and kept trying to nicely push him to talk to me and direct me throughout the session and he just acted like a deer in headlights and basically shut down. I'm pretty new to this relationship but it's been a trend lately in other partners that they're just incredibly quiet people and trying to get them out of their shell during sex is a challenge. I just ended up not being into it anymore because it wasn't going anywhere and then he was sad that he "didn't perform well" because of it. He states a whole bunch of things but then also said that he needed to be drunk to be vocal and I feel that's personally a red flag that he feels he needs to be inebriated in order to really connect with me. I'm trying to understand him and was very clear that I didn't compare him to anyone else in the process of asking for what I wanted from him but it seems like it's frustrating for both parties.      Does anybody have any advice for how I can do this less directly and also not turn myself off during the process or is this just a no-go? I enjoy other parts about his personality but if I'm just imagining him silently thrusting in the long term I'm not going to be satisfied enough to be monogamous in this relationship
+A: Especially if you’re out there dating, I think it’s a lot easier to find a lover who is more vocal than it is trying to turn a quiet lover into a more vocal one.      I mean, if you already suspect that the two of you aren’t a great fit sexually? How much time do you really want to give to things to figure this out?      I think you want to move on and you’re just making sure that you’re not being too hasty but I don’t think it’s too hasty
+A: It's totally normal to need a certain base level of communication in a sexual relationship. I'm like that too. My wife is very communicative, I'm very communicative too, and it's one reason we consistently have great sex.      You may just need to keep looking. Don't stay with someone who you're unsatisfied with, and don't try to force them to change. Like you can give them a chance but if it doesn't resolve quickly and easily, move on. Good relationships are not ones where there is no conflict, but ones where you can resolve the conflict easily and quickly.