X-Men: Evolution is an American animated television series about the Marvel Comics superhero team X-Men. For quotes from other X-men series, see "See also" at the bottom of the page. [After Toad, blown into the mansion by Storm's powers, meets Nightcrawler for the first time.] Toad: Whoa! What are you, some kind of ratty plush toy? Nightcrawler: The name's Nightcrawler, and at least I don't reek like unwashed lederhosen. Toad: You blue-furred freak! [As Toad chases Nightcrawler through the mansion, the former hurling insults at the latter.] Nightcrawler: As you say in America, "neener, neener, neener!" Toad: That ain't gonna help you, boy! Nightcrawler: You're so slow, you couldn't catch flies off a windshield! Toad: Fight like a man! Professor Xavier: Yes. The boy is, indeed, gifted. He could be one of us. Storm: Sometimes, Professor, I think your good heart blinds even you from the truth. [Nightcrawler suddenly leaps down the hall, chased by Toad] Toad: I'm gonna rip that pointy tail off, ya fuzzy gecko! Toad: [chasing Nightcrawler] Come here, Wookiee boy! Come on, come over here, don't make me come up there, don't make me, oh, now you're starting to tick me off... Professor Xavier: Todd Tolansky does indeed have the gift of the X-gene. He is welcome to join us, if he so desires. Toad: [still mad at Kurt] The only thing I desire is blue-boy's fuzzy head! Wolverine: I came back 'cause I thought I smelled trouble brewing. [glances at Toad] Of course, it could've just been stink-boy there... Professor Xavier: I wish it was. Welcome home, old friend. We've missed you. Nightcrawler: [checking out the Blackbird] Sehr gut! Is it yours? Please tell me you get to fly it. Cyclops: It's ours. If you stick around long enough, I'll teach you how to pilot this bad boy. Nightcrawler: But...I almost got you guys killed a few minutes ago. Cyclops: Yeah... don't do that again. But look, we all mess up sometimes; I know I do. That's why we're all here: to learn not to make mistakes like that. That's why we'd like you to stay. Nightcrawler: And you don't mind... the way I look? Cyclops: [Laughs] Dude, just don't hassle me about my shades and we'll call it even. Nightcrawler: We have a deal, then. Cyclops: Welcome to the team. Come on, I'll show you where they hide the sodas. [Kitty had just walked away from Avalanche] Avalanche: You can run, but you can't hide. Cause I'm gonna rock your world! Sabretooth: One shall fall by the other's hand. It's our destiny, and we can't change it. Wolverine: I didn't know you went for that philosophy mumbo-jumbo! Cyclops: [to Sabretooth] Hey, hairball! I got your destiny right here! [Wolverine, Cyclops and Nightcrawler beat Sabretooth.] Nightcrawler: Heh! We showed him. We are the X-Men! Wolverine: I don't fight your battles. So don't fight mine. [storms off] Nightcrawler: [to Cyclops] Ahh, he loves us. Cyclops: Oh yeah, big time. Wolverine: Hey, when I give a demo, I give a demo. Cyclops: A demo, as in "demolish", or "demonstration"? Wolverine: The vents were easily breached; gonna have to fix that. Maybe electrifiers, or poison gas sprayers. Storm: Wolverine... Wolverine: Alright, alright...knockout gas, then. Shadowcat: (shudders) Is it just me, or is anybody else, like, seriously freaked by all of this? (everyone stares at her) Oh. Right, it's just me? Great. Nightcrawler: Relax, Kitty; you'll be fine. (he teleports next to her; she gasps) We're right beside you. (he teleports again to the opposite side of her) Popcorn? (Shadowcat screams) Oops. Heh heh, sorry. Next time I'll honk before I 'port. Shadowcat: Whatever. Look, guys, it's getting late. If it's no biggie, I'm gonna, like, drop out. (she phases through the floor) Nightcrawler: Ah. She's fully not into the fuzzy dude. Not that I blame her. Jean Grey: (putting a hand on Nightcrawler's shoulder) Aw, she just needs some time, Kurt. She'll come around. Cyclops: Nice job, Kurt. You'll make a pilot, yet. Nightcrawler: Thanks! (Kurt starts piloting with his feet.) Cyclops: ...or maybe not. Shadowcat: Scott seems so, like, together! So cool and he's kinda cute. Jean Grey: Cute?! Stiff - maybe, exacting - definitely, but... hmm... (looks at Scott) You know, from a certain angle... Nightcrawler: Was? Got a scent? Wolverine: Yeah... I smell fear. Wolverine: (to Kurt, about Kitty) ... and keep an eye on the half-pint here. Shadowcat: Hey! Professor Xavier: Wolverine, it's Nightcrawler. The Rogue has his mind and his abilities. Wolverine: This is my fault. I should never have left the little squirrel in charge! [After Rogue accidentally knocks Kurt out and flees the scene, leaving Shadowcat alone with him.] Shadowcat: Say something, Kurt! Please! Tease me, scare me, anything! Please...don't be dead... Come on, Kitty... okay, what would Wolverine do? I mean, besides dice up, like, half the landscape... Nightcrawler: (finally wakes up and sees the destruction around him)... Looks like I missed quite a party... Shadowcat: Kurt! You're alright! (hugs him) Easy, you fuzzy elf. Everything is going to be just fine. Cyclops: (whispering) "Fuzzy elf"? Cody: (about talking to Rogue) I'm just, you know, picking my moment. Taking it slow. Ty: Cody, I've seen glaciers move faster. Storm: You look a little flush and the forecast isn't good. (blows ice on him) Logan: Now that was cold. [After Blob, lost on his first day in Bayville high, grabs Duncan.] Blob: Hey, you! Where am I supposed to be? Duncan: I don't know. How about a sideshow? [Cyclops and Rogue are sitting together rehearsing their script from Henry VIII.] Cyclops: Do you like me, Kate? Rogue: Pardonnez moi? I cannot tell what is "like me". Cyclops: An angel is like you, Kate, and you are like an angel. Rogue: The girls are right; you are a charmer. Cyclops: Look, I'm just practicing the lines, okay? Rogue: Yeah, I know, it's just that sometimes I wish... Scott: Yeah, wish what? Rogue: Wish I could get close to somebody, but you know what happens when I do! Wolverine: That's it half-pint, keep the ball away from the elf. [After Nightcrawler teleports between Cyclops and Rogue in the middle of rehearsal.] Nightcrawler: Whoa! Er... Tender moment here? Sorry to interrupt. Rogue: I swear, he's like a... an annoying little brother! (the joke is that Kurt, technically, is Rogue's brother - his biological mother is also Rogue's foster mother) Cyclops: “What’s the problem?” Nightcrawler: “Jean’s been napped!” Cyclops: (shocked and angry) “What? !” Cyclops: Teleporter to maximum, Mr. Wagner. Nightcrawler: Aye, Captain! Cyclops: Engage. Rogue: Leave her alone, ya yahoo! Blob: Whatcha gonna do to me? Make me wear bad makeup? Rogue: Didn't Mystique tell you what my power is? Blob: No - 'cause I don't care! (Rogue pulls off her glove and grabs Blob's arm.) Rogue: My power is your power, and I can take more than one! (Rogue tosses Blob using his strength, and blasts him further back with Cyclops' beam. He lands in a pile of junk, but gets up again quickly.) Blob: I got too much power, even for you! You can't hurt me! I'm the Blob! Rogue: Nah, you're just garbage that wanted a date! Now tell you what: I'm taking you out! Storm: Evan, are you alright? I've been concerned about you lately. You know, about the things we've discussed before? Spyke: Yeah, yeah, no problem Auntie O', everything's cool. Storm: Evan, I saw what happened to you out there tonight; when you fell. Spyke: Hey, it's no big deal; I got it under control. Ah... ATCHOO! [the sneeze causes him to spray bone spikes all over the locker room, narrowly missing Storm] Storm: [Unfazed] Bless you. Spyke: [Sniffs] Busted, huh? Storm: Big time. Wolverine: [after Nightcrawler attempts to get pancakes] ELF! [sighs] How many times do I gotta tell ya? Ask and it'll get passed to ya. Nightcrawler: Sorry. I didn't want to interupt you. [teleports back in his chair] Wolverine: That's better. Now mind your manners. [passes the pancakes to Nightcrawler] Nightcrawler: I love the smell of bacon in the morning. Scott: It's really not so bad, Mrs. Daniels. Having special powers can be pretty cool sometimes. Evan: Oh yeah! I'll tell you what, Shades! Let's see what you've got that's so cool! Mrs. Daniels: Evan! Evan: Sorry, Mom. Jean: No really, it's okay. It's just that Scott's powers aren't really what you'd call 'indoor-friendly'. Evan: Okay, whatever. Look, man. I like it right here and I'm not going to some home for freaks! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some school stuff to take care of. (goes upstairs) Mrs. Daniels: Evan! Jean: Well, that went well! Scott: Yeah. And I thought we were really making a connection there. Mr. Daniels: I apologize for my son, Mr. Summers. He's obviously dealing with a lot right now. I'll talk with him. Jean: (using her power) Hey! He's going out the window. (The group sees Evan going off on his skateboard) Scott: We've really got to work on our sales pitch! Kitty: Eww! Professor! Kurt is, like, totally getting fur in the pool!! Kurt: I am not!! Cyclops: Go to Duncan Matthews' party? Matthews is a jerk. Shadowcat: No he's not. I'd go. Cyclops: No freshmen allowed. Shadowcat: Oh. Matthews is a jerk. Nightcrawler: Hey, chicks dig the fuzzy dude! [to Shadowcat, suggestively] Right? Shadowcat: I'm, like, so out of here. Later. Nightcrawler: Oh yeah, she can't resist. Cyclops: Hey! Watch the tail! (jerks Kurt off of table) Now, see? That's exactly what I'm talking about -- Nightcrawler: You pulled my tail, man! Cyclops: Grow up, Kurt! Nightcrawler: Hey, lighten up, dude! Cyclops: You're always goofing around! Nightcrawler: And you're seriously cramping my style! Cyclops: Listen! Nightcrawler: No, you listen! There's a sound I want you to hear, and it's- (Nightcrawler teleports, leaving Cyclops coughing in a cloud of brimstone.) Cyclops: [To Jean and Evan] Blew it, didn't I? Jean Grey: Oh yeah. Spyke: Totally. Nightcrawler: I knew I should have paid more attention in computer lab. Nightcrawler: It's raining furniture! Nightcrawler: Don't let my looks fool you. I'm a harmless blue fuzzball. [After Cyclops, Spyke, Jean and Shadowcat recover Forge's projector.] Cyclops: Step back. This is going to be messy. Shadowcat: You know, I could just, like, phase through it and short it out quietly? [Cyclops and Spyke look at her blankly.] Oh, right. Forget I mentioned it. [to Jean] Like, what is it with guys and explosions anyway? Forge: Man. You do have that rep. Nightcrawler: I swear, that homie's lingo is so whack. (about Forge as they wander through Middleverse.) Lance: Rogue, Mystique sent us to find you. So are you with us or them? Scott: Mystique? You're working for her? Rogue: Hey, Summers, you got your friends, I got mine. But this ain't my fight, I'm outta here. Nightcrawler: So, how far does this middleverse extend? Forge: Stops just short of the girls locker room, isn't that a burn? Kurt: (to Rogue) What are you doing here? Rogue: Hey, look who's talkin'! At least I didn't blow the place up! Kurt': (seeing a device that she is holding and runs over to take it away from her) Hey, give me that. Rogue: (struggling with Kurt) Back off, blue boy! Who says YOUR in charge here?! Lance: You and me got a date, Pretty Kitty. How about a ride on a concrete coaster? Kitty: Lousy ride, loser! Random kid: Ahhh! A ghost! Blue and hairy demon!! Toad:What is this, abuse the Toad day? Scott: I need to lighten up! (Jean and Kitty gape in shock) Jean: Oh, not you Scott! Kitty: (giggles) Check his temperature! (places her hand on his forehead to check his temperature) Mr. Military's gone soft! Scott: Ok! So we go home, suit up and run a level 3 Danger Room simulation! Jean: (groans) Scott! Kitty: (groans) Give us a break! Nightcrawler: (leans forward) See this is what I mean! Too serious! Scott: Psych! Jean/Kitty: (giggle) Nightcrawler: (smiles) Very nice! There's hope for you yet! Scott: Tell me about it on the way to Matthew's party! Kitty: (grumbles) I still can't go! (folds her arms) I'm, like, a freshman! Scott: (places his arm around her shoulder pulling her in for a hug) You're also one of the X-Men! Jean: (places her hand on Kitty's shoulder making the scene look like a mom, dad and daughter scene) Don't worry! We'll make it happen! Rogue: Scott? Scott? Listen, just hang on, you're gonna be okay. You're gonna be...(looks over edge) Oh man! We're gonna die! Scott: Thanks for the Pep-Talk, Rogue. Thanks. Rogue: I owed it to you. Mystique had me pretty mixed up. Her mind's a tortured mess. But I saw enough to know that you're not my enemy. (sadly) I really thought she cared about me. Scott: (groaning) Hey, she probably does. Sometimes it's really hard to understand adults. They never seem to trust us. (loses consciousness) Rogue: (scared) Scott? Don't pass out. Come on. (nearly in tears) Wake up! Wolverine: We're moving too slow! Spread a little more sunshine would ya? Storm: I'm a weather-witch, not a snow plow. I'm doing the best I can. Rogue: (gasps) It's Mystique! Professor: (telepathically) Scott? Scott! I hope you can hear me! We're on our way! Scott! (normally) He's hurt! Wolverine: Great! How we gonna find him in this white? Scott: X-Men! Coming! Rogue: What? They are? Great! Scott: They can't find us! Rogue: Figures! Then we'll give em something they can find! Open your eyes, Scott! Now! Rogue(To Mystique, as the latter approaches while transformed): Some friendly advice, teach? Don't mess with the Rogue! Logan: Where's your allegiance, kid, us or them? Rogue: (shaking and scared out of her wits) If I don't say you, will I get thrown out of this jet? Logan: Nope, not our style. We've either earned your trust by now or we haven't. Rogue: You. Logan: Welcome to the X-Men. Jean: Which one of your guys has been putting on weight? I can hardly hold you! Cyclops: It's Nightcrawler. Burgers seven days a week will do that to a fella. Nightcrawler: Ah, the breakfast of mutants. Rogue: No trophies for second place. Scott: How'd a southern gal like you learn to handle a snowmobile? Rogue: Lets just say I'm full of surprises. Professor: Rogue? Rogue: It's not my place. Kitty: Sure it is. You're part of the family now. Evan: Yeah, Girl. Tell us what you think. Rogue: Well...I think...No. I've learnt that honesty is very important between people you care about. At least it is to me. Professor: You're right. All of you. I must apologise for keeping the secret from you. But please understand there are many challenges in your future. Secrets...elements of surprise some you are ready to deal with. Some you are not. In the future I will try to do better knowing which is which. Scott: Thanks professor. We're all in this together. It's nice to know we've all got something to learn. That's what makes us X-Men. Evan: (Sabertooth grabs him) We've been expecting you. (Evan pops his spikes) You gotta be sharp if you're gonna mess with the Spyke. Sabertooth: (drops Spyke goes after Kitty) Then I'll take you! Kitty': (Kitty phases Creed flies through) Right. I'm so sure! Sabertooth: knocks Kitty into a tree, goes after her again) Rogue: Back off ugly! Wolverine: Pickin' on kids, Creed? Big mistake! Sabertooth: Yeah, Why? Logan: Cause it really ticks me off! Evan: Come on, Rogue, get with the program. Shake that thing. Rogue: Hey, she's got her moves, I got mine. Kitty: Yeah, girl, you gotta go with it. Y'know, you're like a walkin' zombie or something. Evan: Hey, listen, Rogue, how 'bout you shed those gloves and give K-girl a tap. Kitty and Rogue: What? No way! Evan: Listen to me. Just enough to rip Kitty's moves. Rogue: It might work. Just concentrate on 'em. Kitty: Okay, but you better not, like, lay me out. (Rogue touches her) Rogue: That was, like, pretty icksome! Aw, am I talking like her? [edit] Rogue: [after touching Sabertooth and almost turning into a werewolf] Awww... and I just shaved my legs last night! Logan: Nice. The finishing touch. (to Kitty) And don't give me them puppy dog eyes, half-pint. You're grounded and so are the rest of you! Evan' For how long? Logan: (sighs) I don't know, till She-Wolf there gets a haircut anyway. Rogue: Just when I thought you could not possibly get more pathetic. Kitty: At least I've got a hope of getting cast. Unlike you. Rogue: Think about it. I was made for this play. (catches Spyke filming them) Hey! What are you playin' at Porcupine? I better not see my face on that tape or they're gonna be calling you Spyke-less. Sabertooth: (about Evan, Kitty and Rogue) Three little piggies all alone, Logan you're making this too easy. Toad: (To Evan) Style, charisma... Toad's got it all, yo. So start shootin', already. [First line of the episode. Evan looks down at his failed paper] Evan: Man! Professor Xavier's gonna ground me for the rest of my life! Teacher: Mr. Daniels, could we talk for a moment, please? Admittedly, I asked for a report on the Star Wars programme. However, I wasn't talking about the movie. Evan: [weakly] But I like movies. Teacher: That's fine, but I was expecting a report on the National Space Defense System. Evan: Yeah, I kinda figured that out by my grade. Look, man. Is there anything I can do to make this up? Extra credit? Anything? Teacher: Hmmm...Perhaps there is something. [takes a video camera out of his desk] Evan: Woah! A digicam! 'Teacher: You know, Evan, current events can mean a lot of things to people your age. How would you like to do a film report? Evan: For real? Teacher: You've got it. Project's due at the end of the week. I suggest you get started. Blob: "Group Leader". "Scholastic achievement". That should've been me! Quicksilver: You can't even spell 'scholastic achievement', Blob. Blob: No, but I can spell "doomed"! Which is what that goody-two shoes gang is when I get them alone in the woods! Toad: I can hear it now. [imitates newsreader] "Search and rescue efforts abandoned for missing teens. No traces found". Avalanche: We'll hit them where it hurts most. In public. In front of everyone! (about Blob) Quicksilver: If he slips, we're history! Death by blubberbomb! Avalanche: Fastest way to the top's a straight line, Pietro. Juggernaut: You can't stop the Juggernaut! Wolverine: Forgive me for trying, bub! [The X-Men and the Brotherhood have defeated Juggernaut by working together] Mystique: Now there's something you won't see every day. Professor X: I agree. And that's a shame. Blob: That loser Scott should've lost, and you know it. Pietro: Yeah. Just because he slipped into the bath, the guy went ballistic. Nightcrawler: Slipped?! More like avalanched! (After Jean saves Evan from falling off the cliff) Evan: Woah,... I don't recommend that. Pietro: Cake walk. Our team can take a sauna. I'll get it myself. Kurt: Not if I beat you there. Lance: Better say your farewells 'Sumner', Cause you guys aren't coming back. Scott: Oh, you got something in mind 'Rock Tumbler', cause I... Jean: Scott! Scott: What?! Nothing! I'm just fed up with those delinquents getting away with everything while we're stuck playing by the rules! Lance: Hey! We don't need our powers to beat you! Scott: Aw, fine then. We'll all play it straight and you know what? We'll wave to you from the top! Jean: Good. That's the deal. We're all competing fair; no powers, and I personally am very proud.... (Scott pulls her away) Scott: Come on, Jean! Scott: It felt kinda right, didn't it? Jean: What? Scott: Us and them fighting alongside? Why can't they just stop drawing battlelines in the first place? Jean: Well, it's like what Logan said, "You can't control the will of others." Scott: Well, they'll come around. And you can be their conscience. You're pretty good at it. Jean: (playfully pushes him) Oh... shut up ... (giggles a little bit)... even good guys need a nudge once in a while. Scott: Jean, whenever you think I need it, nudge away. Jean: Yeah, well, Scott's cool. He'll handle it like a group leader should. (Scott blows Lance out of his boat with his powers.) Jean: Or not. Jean: Yeah, at least he gave us a choice. Survival training here or with Wolverine. Rogue: Some choice. Logan: I still say you should have let me handle their survival training. 'Xavier: I gave them that choice, Logan. They felt they had a better chance of surviving the camp. Toad: (about Scott) He stole that first place ribbon! Rogue: You want that ribbon so bad? I'll pin it to your forehead. Kitty: (dropping onto her bag) We're going to die out here. Evan: What about me? I'm a city kid. Rogue: (picking up her stuff) I'm going AWOL, anyone know how to hotwire a school bus? [Professor Xavier is visiting Mystique concerning a recent, disturbing discovery] Professor X: You've been carrying a terrible burden for many years, Mystique. Rogue's recent contact with you seems to have given her some of your darker memories; nightmares about a very unfortunate incident involving an infant. Mystique: You're fishing. You know nothing. Professor X: I know about your relationship with the boy, Mystique. What I don't know is what Magneto did to him. Why did you run that night? Mystique: [Gets up from the desk and walks to the bookcase] Dear, dear Charles. How incredibly frustrating for you; to realise that that amazing mind of yours knows so very little, really. Professor X: What were you two up to in that dreary castle? Was it worth the loss of your son? [Xavier has hit a raw nerve. Mystique drops her book in shock, flooded by memories of what happened that night. Severely rattled, she turns back to Xavier.] Mystique: Get out! Get out now! [Xavier turns to go, then stops at the door.] Professor X: Just in case you're curious: he turned out to be a very fine lad. [Leaves] [Kurt & Kitty find that the plane they hid in is actually flying away.] Shadowcat: Can you transport us to the ground? Nightcrawler: Yeah, right. Like, picture this: bumpety, bumpety, bumpety, bumpety, SPLAT! Too high up and WAY too fast! Shadowcat: (writing in letter) Finding a place to be alone around here is really a matter of timing. Sometimes you have to settle, like when Mr. Logan's around, but that's okay, because he doesn't want to talk to anybody. (she looks up at Logan) Wolverine: What's the matter half-pint? Am I reading too loudly for ya? Shadowcat: No, just enjoying how quiet it is Nightcrawler: (facing off with Sabretooth) Touch me, and you'll find yourself transported two miles into the woods! Sabretooth: Then that's where you'll fall! Wolverine: You caged the wrong animal, bub! Scientist: Stop! This place is going to blow! Wolverine: Let it! Kitty, leave! Shadowcat: Not without you! (Nightcrawler teleports next to her and grabs her wrist) Nightcrawler: No argument this time! (he and Shadowcat both teleport out of the labratory; Sabretooth appears behind Wolverine) Wolverine: Project Weapon X has been terminated! (About the New Mutants) Wolverine: So those are the new recruits? Looks like we got our hands full. Professor: Yes, a spirited bunch, but good kids. However, it's going to be difficult to keep things quiet, and to maintain our anonymity. Wolverine: Not to mention our buildings. We're definately going to need more instructors. And maybe a couple of tanks. [The Brotherhood are standing off to the side at a school assembly] Toad: Man, this bums, yo. Even the flies here think they're better than us. Blob: Yeah. I don't even know what we're doing at school anyway. Quicksilver: But we do know what Lance is doing here. He'd like to get a certain Kitty stuck in a tree. K-I-S-S-I.... [Quicksilver speeds away as Lance tries to hit him, causing him to hit Toad instead] Rogue: I'm about to feel really big and stupid, if you know what I mean. (toward Blob, as she prepares to absorb his power.) Note: Jean's mental abilities of telepathy and telekinesis being drastically augmented to tremendously incalculable power levels is foreshadowing the inevitable emergence of the almighty Phoenix Force entity lying within her subconscious mind. Nightcrawler: What is going on up there? Shadowcat: Yeah, is Jean all right? Charles: No, she's not. Her powers are evolving too rapidly for her too control. [Boom-Boom is selected first for the simulated cliff rescue operation, with Nightcrawler as the victim.] Boom-Boom: Yeah! Look out below! Boom-Boom's bombing in! Nightcrawler: I'm going to die... (Boom-Boom is lowered to Nightcrawler's position.) Boom-Boom: Hey, cutie! Nightcrawler: Hi. I have to know: are you insane? (Boom-Boom carelessly sweeps Nightcrawler into the stretcher with her foot.) Nightcrawler: Ow! I'm an injured victim, not a log! Boom-Boom: "Nightcrawler", huh? That name's just not working for you, I'm sorry. Whoa! How about, "Wild Blue Yonder Boy"? Nightcrawler: You are insane. Nightcrawler: Aha! You forgot to strap me in! Ten points off! (to Boom-Boom, after he pretends to fall off the stretcher.) [Dr. Hank McCoy is suffering a fit in the school bathroom. He is reciting Shakespeare to try and soothe himself.] Hank McCoy: For... in that sleep of... death... what dreams may come when- aaagghh!- we have shuffled off this mortal- coil... AAaagh-MUST give us pause! Hnn-THERE'S... the respect that makes calamity... of SO LONG LIFE!! GAAAGH!!! [tears the sink off the wall in reflex] Beast:[groaning] I still look like a monster. Shadowcat: Hello? Oh, Lance. Hey, I got it, Bobby! Get off the phone! Sorry. So what's going on? Oh. Yeah right, I can totally see us walking around the mall together. What makes you think I wanna- [Nightcrawler clears his throat; Shadowcats looks, gasps, and sees at a muscular Nightcrawler] Nightcrawler: Hey, Kitty. Shadowcat: Uh, hey let me think about it. I'll call you back. (she hangs up and laughs) What have you done to yourself? [Nightcrawler walks over to her] Nightcrawler: I've been working out. Can you tell? [his muscular form disappears back to his regular form] Oh bummer. [he walks out of Shadowcat's room; Shadowcat laughs] Shadowcat: You shouldn't be messing with your image inducer, Kurt. Beast: [Looking around at all of the melted snow from the mutant snowball fight] Well, so much for our winter wonderland. I can see now that teaching mutants will require entirely different skills. Nightcrawler: Hey. Welcome back, sailor. Cyclops (grinning): Uh, thanks... ma'am. Nightcrawler: Ma'am? What's that suppose to mean? [he looks in the mirror to see a feminine version of him; he gasps] Professor! Professor Xavier: I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. [he, Jean, and Cyclops laugh and so does Nightcrawler] Spyke: [to an overweight Kurt] Dude, lay off the burger bombs. Shadowcat (noticing Kurt holding a mistletoe above her head): Kurt! In your dreams! Nightcrawler: All in the holiday spirit! (he closes his eyes and puckers his lips) Shadowcat (standing up and running away): Kurt! Knock it off! (Nightcrawler chases her) Nightcrawler: Come on, Kitty! Just one little kiss? Pleeaase? [Nightcrawler and Shadowcat run past Professor Xavier and Wolverine] Professor Xavier: Ah, to be young again. Wolverine: Yeah... glad that's over. Beast: Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Professor Xavier: Shakespeare? Beast: The Bible. Cyclops: You mean he's some kind of demon? Rogue(sarcastically): Yeah, right! Beast: "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Rogue: Now that's Shakespeare. (About Angel and his recent vigilantism.) [About letting Avalanche join the X-Men.] Cyclops: Professor, I think this is a mistake. I know Lance; he wouldn't do this unless he wanted something. Professor X: Yes, I agree. What he wants, is to be near Kitty. Cyclops: But- Professor X: I believe he's genuine about his feelings for her. And maybe, that's a good beginning. Now, let's give him a chance. Professor X: Well, fortunately, there's no official mention of the incident. The military must believe it was a UFO sighting, so they are, no doubt, covering it up. Nightcrawler: Now all I've got to do is wax the X-Jet and my probation is history. (eyes the X-Jet) Oh man! This is gonna take a lot of wax! Professor X: That's all right, Kurt. Consider your probation over. (As Kurt celebrates, Xavier turns toward the new arrivals) Yours, however, is just beginning. And you can start by cleaning the X-Jet. [Wolverine and Nightcrawler escape from a pack of vicious reptilian demons in the "bamf" dimension.] Wolverine: Well I'd say they were pretty hostile. Wouldn't you? Boom-Boom: Oh, come on! I don't look that bad! (to Toad and Blob, who scream at the sight of a "bamf" demon, just as she exits the washroom.) [The demons attack guests at the Bayville High Dance. One goes for Kurt and Amanda.] Amanda: Kurt! Get us out of here! Nightcrawler: How? We're trapped! Amanda: Make us disappear! Hurry! I've seen you do it! Please! Amanda: You know, blue really is my favorite color. (to Nightcrawler, after he reveals his true physical form to her.) [After Beast returns from his chaotic nightly rampage.] Beast: I don't know what to say... I am so sorry about this. Professor Xavier: Well, it was bound to happen. Beast: What do you mean? Professor Xavier: What was it the last time... You attended a drive-in movie, hidden in the bed of a pick-up truck? Shadowcat: How much do you know about the Redwoods? Iceman: Only that they make great hot tubs. Beast: Journey? Where can you go when you can't be seen by the public? (to Professor Xavier, after he is advised to go on a trip to find himself.) [After Beast announces his pick of students for an impromptu field trip to Redwood Forest.] Iceman: Me? But my grades are improving! Beast: Uh-huh. With the speed of a glacier. You, too, Evan. Spyke: Aw, come on, teach! Can't I do my studying somewhere else! Like going to the park! There's green stuff there! (Beast looms in on Spyke in a mock-threatening way, cornering him by the door.) Spyke: ...do these forests have sidewalks? [After Sunspot finishes covering the X-Jet in an ample amount of branches.] Wolfsbane: It was plenty camouflaged! Sunspot: A few more branches couldn't hurt. Wolfsbane: I smell overachiever issues. Beast: Send me an e-mail, and I'll take your complaint under "advisement". (to Spyke, as the latter protests at the beginning of the trek.) Beast: This is not who I am. Shadowcat: Maybe it's who you're meant to be. Beast: You can't go back either, huh? (to a stranded fish beached on the side of a river.) [After Beast assigns the students to find five different types of rocks.] Wolfsbane: Five samples. I guess a go getter like you will bring back ten. Sunspot: Maybe twelve. You see, the first five are like a cake; the rest are like the icing. And I like icing. Wolfsbane: I thought you were putting on a little weight. Big Foot Fanatic: ...is he wearing trunks? (about Beast, whom has been accidentally caught on tape and mistaken as Big Foot.) Big Foot Fanatic: It looks like we've got ourselves the real McCoy. (about Beast, after the expedition successfully captures him.) [Two hunters are searching for Bigfoot, using whistles that replicate animal calls] Hunter 1: Where I can I get one of those? Hunter 2: Bigfoot trading post. Ask for Mulder [Beast swings in the trees above them while The X-Files theme plays] Big Foot Research Scientist: This is a wonder of Nature! It is our duty to respect it! Hunter 1: What? It's not like we're going to make a rug out of it! Hunter 2: A coat, maybe, but not a rug. (about the captive Beast, after the hunters comment how much Big Foot will be worth in the market.) Big Foot Research Scientist: Good Heavens! You can speak! (to a captive Beast, as the latter attempts to strike up a friendly intellectual conversation with him.) [After Boom-Boom barges into the bathroom without knocking, effectively interrupting Toad.] Toad: Man! I take one shower a month, and still I get no privacy! Boom Boom: Here, you dropped the soap. [She drops bombs into the bath, causing water to spill out along with a screaming Todd] Boom Boom: [to Blob, who is walking upstairs] Ya know, Freddie, mohawks are so last century. [to Avalanche, who is rummaging around in the fridge] Lance! Any gas in your jeep? Avalanche: Yeah. Why? [Boom Boom drives off in Lance's jeep] Avalanche: She's taken my ride! Magma: Look, didn't your mother teach you not to pick on girls?! Chop Shop Boss: Oh, yeah. Yeah, too bad I never listened to her. Boom Boom: Well, guess what, braindead? She was right! And here's why! [Cyclops and Nightcrawler are on a stake-out watching for the girls] Nightcrawler: Blue Boy to Tracker One. Do you read? The pigeons are leaving the roost. Cyclops: Kurt, I'm right here... and why are you talking like that? Boom-Boom: Let me guess: you must be Mistic. Mystique: Try Mystique. This is my home, and my rules. Rule Number One: Move out of my room. Think you can handle that, Bam-Bam? Mystique: Gentlemen, meet your new secret weapon. Quicksilver: Wanda?! Scarlet Witch: Pietro?! [Scarlet Witch goes into a rage and starts using her powers against the Brotherhood.] Toad: Ex-girlfriend? Quicksilver: Worse! She's my sister! Toad: Your sister? Lance: Whoa! You two need some serious family councilling! Boom-Boom: Room's all yours, Mys-tique! [after blowing up said room with her time bombs.] Shadowcat: ... So? What does it need? Nightcrawler: Something to wash out the taste. [about the rubbery muffins Shadowcat made for Home Economics class.] Shadowcat: Ok, how do these taste after my last six batches? Nightcrawler: Well, better do as he says. [Nightcrawler teleports, dropping Kitty's muffin, which cracks the floor tiles] Shadowcat: [to Cyclops] Muffin? Toad: Oooh, beautiful and bad. (at Scarlet Witch, after she hexes a number of pursuing troops.) Toad: Just the type of girl that makes a guy want to... brush his teeth. (about Scarlet Witch, after she forcefully snubs him.) Rogue: Normal? Look at me – I look fat! Do I look that fat to you? Wolverine: Pipe down, will ya? We're tryin' to keep a low profile. Rogue: Well I am not buyin' these cupcakes. (about the news broadcast revealing her as a mutant.) [After Nightcrawler teleports upside-down, but attains reception on the pocket television he is carrying.] Nightcrawler: Oh, man! I'm trapped here! Nightcrawler: Do you mind? You're in my personal space! (to Shadowcat, as she phases halfway through him to get a better view of the television.) (Nightcrawler, along with Shadowcat, teleports into an attacking helicopter.) Nightcrawler: Hi! I'm Nightcrawler, and this is Shadowcat. Shadowcat: And this is your weapons system. (Shadowcat phases through the controls, short-circuiting them.) Both: (Waving.) Bye! Juggernaut: What are you trying to do? Embarass me to death? Come on, gimme your best shot! Cyclops: You know, that's just what I had in mind. [starts to use his eye blasts against Juggernaut] Juggernaut: You think that fancy visor's gonna stop me?! NOTHING stops me! I'M RAW POWER!!! Cyclops: Yeah? You want it raw, tough guy? Then take it RAW! [removes his visor and uses his powers at full force] [After the X-Men defeat the Juggernaut and save the dam.] Senator: Er... what did they just do? Storm: What they were trained to do: use their powers for good. President: My fellow Americans - all my fellow Americans, human and mutant - I stand before you now to clear the X-Men of all wrongdoing in the giant Sentinel robot disaster. The real criminal suspect behind the Sentinel weapon has been arrested and charged. This has caught us all by surprise, but isn't reason for any of us to judge people solely by their differences. To put it as simply as I can, we need to learn more. We need to be open-minded. And we need to give this mutant question more time. Train Driver: [to police officer, showing him Juggernaut in train] See, I told you. He jumped on at Roseburg and look at the size of him! Officer: All right step on out here big guy! Nice and easy Juggernaut: [sighs] You do not want to do this. Officer: [takes his beating stick] Get out of there now and identify yourself! Juggernaut: [puts on helmet] Hm, you want to know who I am? [gets up and jumps through roof of train car] Juggernaut! [pushes them aside and walks off] Duncan: Jean, I want you to know: This doesn't change a thing. Jean: It doesn't? Duncan: Of Course Not. I'm prepared to overlook your problem. Jean: Problem? Duncan: Yeah. We could really use your mind-reading powers to good use, like during exams... Jean: You...you lug head! We are so through! Colossus: When you tire of the discrimination, Magneto offers you the chance to join him. Wolverine: So I can become a lackey like you?! Colossus: I am not a lackey! I... I have no choice. Blob: We don't go anywhere we ain't wanted. Toad: Since when? Toad: If you can't be cool, be feared. My momma always told me that! Kid: Hey, what's your special power? Can you, like, read my mind? Rogue: Yeah, like I could find it. Shadowcat: This is the real you, isn't it?! You're nothing but a hood! Avalanche: Right. I'll never be good enough for you! Note: Scott and Jean's platonic feelings for each other strengthens into pure romance. Cyclops: Logan, have you ever... you know... really cared for someone? Wolverine: Pliers. Cyclops: [tosses wire strippers] I mean, you felt it so strong you couldn't even get the words out? Wolverine: Yeah, once. Most beautiful bike I ever saw. I was so speechless someone else bought her. [groans] Not wire strippers, pliers! Use your eyes, kid! Cyclops: Problem is, how's the guy supposed to know if the girl feels the same way? Wolverine: Look, here's how I see it: I'd like to finish this job before New Years. So if you don't tell her, I will. Quicksilver: May I remind you losers that Magneto put me in charge of this group for a reason? The only chance you have of joining his new group is if you guys can prove you can work together as a team. And that, my friends, takes leadership. Strong, deicsive, fearless- WANDA! Don't tell her I'm here! [Quicksilver hides in a closet as Scarlet Witch storms into the Brotherhood home.] Toad: Babycakes, you've come back to me. Scarlet Witch: Where is he?! Toad: Pietro? He's in the closet. Quicksilver: Thanks a lot, wart boy! Nightcrawler: That was a delicious dinner, Mrs. Sefton. Amanda's Mother: Well, it was sweet of you to offer to do the dishes. Amanda: Oh, Kurt is very considerate. He gets good grades, too. And he has the nicest friends. [Immediately before Toad crashes into the Sefton cottage and tries to steal Nightcrawler's portable holo-projector.] [After Toad accidentally slips into the sink.] Toad: EW! I touched soap! [Toad has destroyed Amanda's house and stolen Kurt's image inducer, revealing his true self] Amanda: [weakly] So, who wants dessert? Jamie: Come on, Kitty, just wear it for a while. Kitty: Jamie, I said no. (Jamie makes a sad face) Kitty: Oh alright, but this does not mean we're on a date. Jamie: It doesn't? {places corsage on kitty} Kitty: Listen, you were the only one who didn't have plans. Besides you're, like, 12 years old. Jamie: But Roberto lent me his suit and everything. He expects a full report. Kitty: Jamie! (Cyclops and Jean Grey show outright affection for each other.) Shadowcat: Oh, man. Are they for real? Nightcrawler: [imitating] "Jean, darling, please accept this croissant as a symbol of my love." Shadowcat: "Oh, Scott... you have such a way with pastry..." Deborah Risman: My job there [HYDRA] was to create a weapon. The perfect weapon. Based on data HYDRA had stolen from a project codenamed: Weapon X. But I failed. Time and time again. Twenty-two times to be precise. Twenty-three was the charm once we realized where to look for the answers. It was you, Weapon...uh, Wolverine. Your healing factor was the key. Therefore, we... acquired your DNA. Wolverine: You...cloned me? Deborah Risman: Not entirely. I had to make a few genetic variations. Unfortunately, that caused some...instability. X-23 became volatile. Dangerous. Our efforts to breed out emotions left behind...explosive anger. I succeeded in creating the ultimate weapon. Wolverine: But then you couldn't control it. Deborah Risman: She's out there, somewhere. And she must be found. Deborah Risman: HYDRA molded her from birth. Removing all distractions. Isolating her from all attachments...or love. Wolverine: And yet you just let it all happen. Deborah Risman: It was made very clear that I could leave if I disapproved. For her sake, I chose to stay. We trained her how to blend in naturally with others. But when she watched children having fun, witnessed loving families... unexpected hostilities emerged. When she was twelve... they put her through the Weapon X process. Wolverine: Enough! She's a child, not a weapon! [Growls] How do you sleep at night? Deborah Risman: I don't. To help her. To try and undo some of the damage I've done. Wolverine: [taking over training from Beast] The course has a new objective today. New mutants: [collective groan] Wolverine: It's called....Mutant Dodgeball. New mutants: [collective cheer] Iceman: Yes! I am so good at this game! Wolverine: Oh, and extra credit for anyone who takes out the ice cube. Iceman: What?! Professor Xavier: Why the change of tactics, Logan? Wolverine: Sometimes, you gotta let kids just be kids. (After Gambit breaks up a fight between Wolverine and Sabertooth.) Gambit: "Look, it ain't about you two pitbulls! Let's go find Rogue." (Gambit, Sabertooth, and Wolverine are tracking Rogue on a snowy mountain) Sabertooth: (Sniffs) Wolverine: (Sniffs) "Hm, three of them, and since I can't detect a third scent, it must be Mystique." Gambit: "How 'bout you guys stop sniffin' everything and follow the footprints!" (Shadowcat and Nightcrawler under the Sphinx) Shadowcat: (To Nightcrawler) "I think we're close. Why don't you go up and join the Professor? I'll look for the others." Nightcrawler: (Regarding Colossus) And leave you alone with Steel Face? Forget it, he shouldn't be trusted." Shadowcat: "Oh, he's not that bad, kind of a softy if you ask me. He's just so quiet." Colossus: (After breaking through a wall to regroup with them) "I, I grew concerned." (Gambit, Sabertooth, and Wolverine just fended off a mental attack by Mesmaro) Wolverine: "Xavier's mental blocks just saved our lives." Sabertooth: (To Wolverine) "Especally yours, Mesmero was telling me to push you off the mountain. Problem is; I'm still tempted." Gambit: "Do me a favor, why don't you both jump off the mountain!" Toad: Hello, McFly! (to Mystique, now a stone statue, as he raps on her head.) [a reference to the Back to the Future trilogy; Biff does this when he is annoyed with the McFlys.] Nightcrawler: If you don't help her, this will haunt you for the rest of your life. Prove that you're not like her. (to Rogue, in persuading her to save Mystique.) Toad: Never fear, people, the Brotherhood has arrived. We'll stop that runaway train. Bystander: Yeah, but what about the other train? Quicksilver: Uh... What other train? Bystander: Radio says one's coming the other way carrying eight tankers of gasoline. Avalanche: Yea THIS"LL go out with a bang. Magma: Hey! Accidents happen. Like, if I "accidentally" dropped this, it will "accidentally" burn a hole right through your car. (to Duncan, as he threatens Cannonball.) Duncan: Get away from there, or I'll show you how accidents can go both ways! Spyke: As for you: threatening little girls? You're lucky I just damaged your car. Duncan: Yeah? And you think you're going to get away with messing up my ride? Spyke: Well, I guess the question is: What are you going to do about it? (Duncan's two companions run away in fear) Spyke: Go ahead. Make your call. Spread the word. Tell them the mutants of Bayville are off-limits to hate crime, as of now. (Spyke jumps into the sewers, shooting off two flaming arrows that blow up Duncan's car) Duncan: (Into phone) Get me the police! Wolverine: When did the porcupine start shooting flaming arrows? Did I miss an upgrade notice or something? Wolverine: Maybe it slipped your notice, Chuck, but I'm not exactly the model of restraint. Wolverine: Alright, I'll try to sweet talk the kid into not smacking down creeps and thugs who deserve it. But you'll be lucky if I don't end up joining him myself. Beast: We, scientists, have a special term for that called "I don't know..." Kid: I'm starting to think the old lady next door might actually be one. (during the news channel coverage on the public's reaction toward mutants.) Farmer: What's a mutant? (during the news channel coverage on the public's reaction toward mutants.) Jean Grey: Duncan, don't do this. Duncan: Save it, Jean. My days of listening to you are over. Jean Grey: And my days of putting up with you are over! [After Dorian Leech suddenly causes all the power to go out, including mutant power.] Cyclops: ...That kid! he's somehow supressing the energy around here. Including mutant powers. Wolverine: [Wincing in pain] Yeah... how nice. [Wolverine invades the Acolyte base and threatens Pyro.] Wolverine: I'm looking for Gambit. Pyro: Watch it, mate. You're wrinkling the uniform! [Pyro forms a fiery dragon and uses it to attack Wolverine.] Pyro: I'm real glad you dropped by, since I've been bored outta my skull! [Wolverine eventually manages to destroy Pyro's flame-thrower, defeating the dragon. He then grabs Pyro.] Wolverine: Where's your buddies?! Pyro: Since Magneto's gone, Colossus bailed and went back to Russia, Sabretooth's out playing with a big ball of yarn somewhere, and Gambit didn't leave a note on the fridge. [Wolverine slams him back into his chair and walks away.] Rogue: What is it with you and cards? Gambit: Oh, it's like having fifty-two explosives in one little pocket. I always save her for last. Rogue: Queen of Hearts? Gambit: My lucky lady. She's gotten me out of a lot of jams. Rogue: Then I need a deck of those. [After Rogue dangles Gambit halfway out of the train with an iron bar.] Rogue: I don't like getting pushed in any direction. Got it? Gambit: Point taken. Now here's mine. [uses his power to charge the train car with kinetic energy] Pull me in, or I blow this boxcar off the tracks. (Rogue finally takes back the bar and pulls Gambit in.) Rogue: You're just crazy enough to do it. Gambit: We do what we have to, right cherie? Gambit: I'm not afraid. Go ahead: absorb my thoughts. See for yourself that I mean you no harm. Rogue: Like I want you inside my head. Gambit's foster father: (after Storm winds some crooks away) That chick can control the weather! Rogue: Meet my family. Gambit: Rogue... Rogue: Don't. You just did the wrong thing for the right reasons. Gambit: So, what now? Rogue: I'm going back with the X-Men. I don't care what you do. Gambit: Sure, you don't. Gambit: You'll be fine, cherie. You've got people looking out for you. Mesmero: Apocalypse will trigger the dormant X gene in the normal population, turning most into mutants. Storm: what do you mean "most"? Mesmero: Some will not survive the wave of evolution. [Xavier and Apocalypse communicate telepathically. An amusing note is that despite sounding very different, both characters are voiced by David Kaye] Professor Xavier: I am Charles Xavier. Apocalypse: I know who you are. Professor Xavier: Then you know I've merely come to talk. To discuss what you're planning, and-- Apocalypse: I have planned nothing. I am but an instrument of destiny. Professor Xavier: But it's a destiny of destruction. Apocalypse: The future came to me in that craft. I have embraced it, and merged with its technology so that I may lead the evolution of the human race. Professor Xavier: The human race does not need your help. Apocalypse: Hmmph! Since when has mankind ever known what it needs? Professor Xavier: You have to know that somehow, you will be stopped. Apocalypse: What I know is... it will not be by you. Wolverine: Okay, teams, this is it. Everything you've ever learned about yourselves. Your strengths and your limits It all comes down to this very moment. Tonight we're the world's last, best hope to stop this madman. So we're gonna trash those pyramids any way we can, no matter who we gotta go through to do it. Jean (telepathically): Professor, listen to me. Apocalypse has somehow taken control of you. He's making you go against everything you ever believed in, everything you devoted your life
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