@cyberbutt: "As a public cervix to broaden the cultural and literary horizons of
the members of this newsgroup, I will be selecting books that will
appeal to discriminating tastes.
This month's selection:
<url>
huh huh *members*"
    @poop: ""> This month's selection:
<quote>
Did you read the plot?  I want this book!
I'm ordering it.  Nothing as relaxing as putting on the velvet crack smoking
jacket, packing up the pipe with the finest money can buy, having the
servants bring me some scotch, and relaxing in the Turd study with a good
book."
    @nexus6: "news:<email_address>
<quote>
horizons of
that will
I hope someone buys the movie rights. A movie about butt
insurrections (I said erections huhhuhhuh) would be cool."
    @poop: "<quote>
A theme similar to 'Pet Cemetary' would be great.  The butts of dead people
come to life and go around kicking the butts of living butts.
"Butt Cemetary", coming soon to a theater near you."
    @nexus6: "news:a0IWb.39159$<email_address>
<quote>
cool.
butts of dead people
butts.
Like, the dead butts are close to taking over the earth and
there's no hero that can stop them until the butt to end all
butts arrives on the scene to send all the dead butts back
to where they came from. Yeah!
Jennifer Lopez has been waiting for this movie all her life,
she has a butt I can believe in.
TYDT"
    @nexus6: "news:YadXb.65179$<email_address>
<quote>
and
all
back
life,
wrong leading
better butt.  Like
I think you're confusing two different things, J-Lo is
laughable singing and dancing and her face looks like she
has been repeatedly hit with a steel bat. Butt hehehe in a
saving civilization, good vs evil fight to death butt
contest J-Lo is your girl. I know no better butt for the
job. Dammit the girl looks like she's wearing nappies*
TYDT
*('Diapers')"
    @poop: "<quote>
I think we're onto something here, but I think J-Ho is the wrong leading
lady.  Butts that suck, suck.  We need someone with a better butt.  Like
Whamee."
    @poop: "<quote>
Ohhhhh, ok, I see where youre going with that.  It not the Quality of the
butt, its the Quantity of the butt.  And in J-Ho's case, she would win,
butts down.  Her big ass would beat the crap out of hotter chicks butts, any
day.  We should do celebrity butt-match.  We could be rich!"
    @nexus6: "news:52eXb.3453$<email_address>
<quote>
she
a
Quality of the
she would win,
chicks butts, any
rich!
Why sure, I mean a butt can be quicker, have more reach or
better reflexes but it is still isn't going to have much
effect on J-Lo's big fat ass. Celebrity butt-munch, sorry
matches sounds like a good idea.
Live from the Butt Bowl, Butte Montana....
Super Heavyweight
J-Lopez vs Johnny Depps mum in 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape'
(a bigggg mama)
Super Mediumweight
Oprah Winfrey vs Al Gore
Super Lightwieght
Calista Flockhart vs Celine Dion
As they said on Robocop 'I'd buy that for a dollar'.
TYDT"
    @poop: "<quote>
Abe, why the hell are you so obsessed with Matlock?  Do you want him to 'do
the job for you'?"
    @poop: "<quote>
Matlock sucks.  Old people suck.  Old people just take up oxygen that I
could be breathing, and always drive too slow, and take too long in the
checkout line at the grocery store..  I hear that the Springfield Old Folks
Home is really a gay swingers club.  So, Abe, you swing on that side of the
fence since your girlfriend left you after you lost your license to drive,
huh?"
    @nexus6: "news:qzcYb.63507$<email_address>
<quote>
were shot dead by
stolen my soul.
you've got
And no TP,
the time in the
nukes stuff. I
forgetfullenss, you obviously
of laxative, and
by coincidence is
not ME.  I'm
wasn't me.  I was busy
floor.  It wasn't
doctor told me the
and the spots and
keyboard by fire,
Errr, sorry to interrupt while you're getting on so famously
but have we swapped cartoons? I mean the simpsons sometimes
has breaking things and fire but never turds or Henry
Rollins videos. And you never got guest appearances from
Tony Blair or Sting in Beavis & Butthead. That would have
sucked, unless they were on fire or blown up or something.
Sacrifice sounds good though, maybe someone should be taken
to lake titikaka, have a sack of 'Do The Bartman' records
tied to his/her feet and then be sent underwater to 'dream
with the turds'. If we do this, I want to be called
'Godfather Hulio, The ButtTown Don'. Yeah, I'm probably as
fat as some of those Sopranos...
TYDT"
    @poop: "<quote>
Dammit, you old fartknocker, I can't be dead before I was born!  Youre so
old, you probably struck out with that Eve chick.  I'll kick your ass out of
the Stonecutters as quick as Snoop puts the smack down on some trick ass ho,
G.
Ask your underwear if youre a suck ass bunghole, then shake them around.
Check the skidmark.
See.  "Signs poing to yes"."
    @poop: "<quote>
You've obviously got me confused with some old dude who nukes stuff. I
didn't steal your soul.  In your old geezer forgetfullenss, you obviously
forgot that you traded your soul for some nachos, a bottle of laxative, and
the March issue of Spank at the quickie mart.  Maggie, who by coincidence is
the name of my Turd Dog with eleventeen nipples, shot MB, not ME.  I'm
getting old, but not that old yet.  I wasnt there. It wasn't me.  I was busy
in Shelbyville doing it with the neighbor on the bathroom floor.  It wasn't
me.  I caught diarrhea from that slut in Shelbyville, the doctor told me the
pills would clear the diarahea right up in a week or so and the spots and
itching would go away, and nobody would ever know.
What do you want to sacrifice??  I already sacrificed a keyboard by fire,
what more does our God desire?"
    @nexus6: "<quote>
Shelbiville.
The Stones are old. And they don't park cars in swimming
pools anymore.
call a
Cigarettes, a certain kind of meatball and John Malkovich,
all fags in the british vernacular...
the chicks like
I don't think it was his fatness that got Germy Ron the
chicks, not the fatness of his waist anyway.
dickity cause
rascal to get it
highly dubious...
problem!
Nurse, nurse, morphine, nurse...
TYDT"
    @poop: ""> Yeah, J-Lo's butt scares me.  My butt thanks you for your support,
<quote>
I'll be glad to help keep the effects of gravity for harming your butt.
Baby."
    @nexus6: "news:YFeZb.10878$<email_address>
<quote>
your support,
have to worry
harming your butt.
Goddammit, what is duct tape for?
TYDT"
    @nexus6: "news:0buZb.21$<email_address>
<quote>
I'd skip both and take it in liquid form, washed down with
'The Edge'.
There aren't many times when it's clever to anaethetize your
butt:
Michael Jackson sleepovers
Showers in the federal penitentary
24 hours after you've swallowed your keys.
I remember a story about a man who injected heroin into his
pecker, to get a 'special feeling'. I guess it was not a
clean needle nor clean heroin as he got gangrene and had to
have several arms and legs, toes and fingers (on the
surviving arm and leg) amputated.
Of course he lost his pecker too.
In summary, my outlook is that its better to get a buzz from
whatever part of your body you are most happy to lose. For
me it is my brain as thinking hurts and gets in the way of
important business of monkey spanking and crapping.
TYDT"
    @poop: "<quote>
After drinking 10 bottles of Keopectate and waiting to give birth to a weeks
worth of brick-turd would be a good time to anaethetize your butt.  Don't
ask how I know.
Oh, and anytime you have to go to the DMV and pay taxes on a vehicle you
just bought, thats a good time too.
Thats what he gets for being a dumbass.  I'd like to buy a substance of
unknown origin, purity, and cut, and inject in into my weiner, please.  God,
what an a-hole.  At least he can't breed now.  He should have just went to
the QuickMart and bought a 6 pack of Edge.  That usually works just fine for
me."
    @nexus6: "<quote>
would put a
suck-ubus.  She
enough to
A snake on my snake? Isn't that gay or something? You kinky
californicators confuse me..."
    @nexus6: "<quote>
substance of
weiner, please.  God,
have just went to
works just fine for
This was before the days of those  'Darwin Awards' books .
He would have got a photo on the cover of the book, a
trophy, a diploma and most likely be made Professor Emeritus
of Dumbarse University, in the Department of Applied
Dilholeogy . I don't know why they don't use him in the
drugs awareness ads, having your pecker fall off is much
more frightening than a telling off from Nancy Reagan.
Unless she was naked, that would be scary...
I'm sure he got a buzz out of it for a while before the
blood poisoning started. He must have wondered 'Is this a
boner or rigor mortis...'
TYDT"
    @nexus6: "news:<email_address>
<quote>
message news:<c1bevd$6s8$<email_address>>...
kinky
I'm very much a kitten lover. I have the scratches to prove
it."
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