@not: "Now, this doesn't apply to anyone here......
- Thoughts on being "OLD"
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated,
jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my
leotards on, the class was over.
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is
the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied,
"No peer pressure."
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied.
"Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She
responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't
hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications
that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with
dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank
God, I still have my driver's license!
A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want
my sex drive lowered."
"Sir," replied the doctor, "you're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is
all in your head?"
"You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. That's why I want it lowered!"
An elderly woman from Bexley decided to prepare her will and make her
final requests. She told her preacher she had two final requests. First,
she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered
over Walmart
"Walmart?" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Walmart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.""
    @tickettyboo: "In news:d0amnt$is2$<email_address>,
wally  whispered softly in my ear...:
<quote>
LOL skip the leotard and just change the duvet cover..that will keep you 
fit!
Tickettyߺ�"
    @me: ""wally" <email_address> wrote in message 
news:d0amnt$is2$<email_address>
<quote>
But of course not.
Gave me a good giggle though
Barb
Friends are the family you choose for yourself"
    @me: ""Tickettyboo" <email_address> wrote in message 
news:<email_address>
<quote>
Sure would.  Himself once commented that he couldn't see how it could be so 
difficult to put a duvet cover on.  Guess who changes the duvet covers in 
our house now :-))
Barb
Friends are the family you choose for yourself"
    @mcc5959: "<quote>
Good morning Barb :-)
Mike's tip of the day for putting on a duvet cover. Turn the thing
inside out. Put your arms inside and grab the bottom corners and then
grab the corresponding corners of the quilt. Shake the duvet and the
cover will slide over it off your arms :-)
Learned this when I was living on my own.
P.S. Make sure all cats are out of the house first - they think that
changing duvet covers is entertainment for them ;-)
MCC"
    @me: ""MCC" <email_address> wrote in message 
news:ma7zqkv3dc5y$.5o522ez51f6j$<email_address>
<quote>
Yep that's the way I try when I have to do it but find it better to pretend 
I can't manage and let you-know-who do the necessary :-))
Barb
Friends are the family you choose for yourself"
    @me: ""Lin" <email_address> wrote in message 
news:ODfWd.28840$<email_address>
<quote>
Thanks for the support Lin
Did you go to see the Black Watch marching?
Barb
Friends are the family you choose for yourself"
    @xraylimpalot: "A friend sent me this, a few weeks too early. sigh
Janet
YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!
  I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 P.M.
  I'm very good at opening childproof caps.... with a hammer.
  I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
  I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
  I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
  I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...
  I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as
mine.
  I'm so cared for  long term care, eye care, private care, dental care."
    @not: "news:<email_address>
<quote>
I know the feeling Jan, I seem to like walking halfway up the stairs.
Still haven't worked out why.
Wally"
    @wrinklie: "On Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:09:10 +0100, wally sauntered in and penned :
<quote>
Solution....get a bungalow :-)
Life is what we make it.
What is to be will be.
Wrinklie
12/06/2005 12:00:06 Time courtesy Atomic clock
<url>
skype name wrinklie1"
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