@beefymeg (beefymeg) posted a new topic, subject "A Rant Unrelated to the SD or any Dopers.". It read:

   I have never, ever, ever been so incredibly flame-spitting angry as I am right now. My live-in fiancé left for work this morning not only with his keys in hand, but also with mine. When it was time for me to leave for work, I ran around the house like an insane woman for 10 minutes, trying to figure out where I had misplaced my keys. Called him at work - “oh, yeah, I do have them.”  
    This is the SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED. The fucking bastard can't seem to realize that he is carrying TWO SETS OF KEYS out the door. So right now he has ALL THREE OF MY CAR KEYS - the one attached to MY keychain, HIS copy, and the spare we keep laying around for emergencies - that he happens to still have in his wallet from the last time he needed to use my car.
    
    I rode my bike to work today. I am fucking livid and I keep bursting into tears just thinking about it. Why on earth would I want to spend the rest of my life with a peat-moss-for-brains jackass who not only got home from work last night and chose not to wash Monday night's dishes, leaving them for me to do when I got home from MY SECOND JOB, but then thinks that I am so unimportant that I either wouldn't notice or wouldn't mind him STRANDING ME by taking with him all of my keys.
    
    ## I swear there is steam pouring out of my ears right now. I have never been so upset.
    
    Sucks to your assmar.

@Mullinator (Mullinator) replied

    Anyone else want to set up a pool on how long the engagement and/or marriage is gonna survive?
    
    * * *
    
    Well, shut my mouth. It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

After which, @beefymeg (beefymeg) added

    I've got $5 on about seven more hours.
    
    * * *
    
    Sucks to your assmar.

After which, @Flypsyde (Flypsyde) added

    > I've got $5 on about seven more hours.
    
    Oh, yeah, _that's_ real fair.
    
    * * *
    
    Then he said, “That is that.”  
    And then he was gone.  
    -Dr. Seuss, * The Cat in the Hat*

After which, @Revtim (Revtim) added

    What is his motive in taking your keys? If it's just a weird unintentional habit, I don't see getting so upset with him about it. Put your keys in an different place than his.
    
    If he took them intentionally to fuck with you, then I would understand the bitterness. Do you think it was intentional?

So @beefymeg (beefymeg) replied

    Revtim - I honestly think he does it because he just doesn't think. He grabs the first keys he sees, and if his set already happened to be in his pocket, well, sucks to be me.
    
    Short of duct-taping a toilet seat to his keys (a'la high school bathroom passes), I don't think there's any way to prevent it. It's the pure thoughtlessness of his actions that really frosts me.
    
    * * *
    
    Sucks to your assmar.

So @beefymeg (beefymeg) replied

    Flip - It's fair! That's about the time he'll get home from work so I can WRING HIS NECK.
    
    P.S. It's been about an hour and a half - I'm progressing into the “I'm feeling guilty now for hollering” stage.
    
    * * *
    
    Sucks to your assmar.

So @Byzantine (Byzantine) replied

    Well, honey, all I can say is HIDE YOUR FUCKING KEYS WHERE HE CAN'T FIND THEM! I mean, I don't know if he's clueless or just an asshole but don't “tempt” him by leaving your keys laying around!
    
    My sister suggests that you tie a (new, clean) tampon to your keys; she swears he won't take them :o
    
    But, really, ummm, maybe he's not the guy for you.
    
    Gee, it's things like this that make me remember WHY I'm single. And sane.
    
    * * *
    
    Best!  
    Byz

After which, @bj0rn (bj0rn) added

    one could argue about if this thread belongs in the MPSIMS or the bbq-pit. i think your boyfriend would put it in the MPSIMS, you clearly want to have it here in the pit, so i belive your boyfriend is lacking some understanding on this situation. i do belive you are going to have to explain it to him, cause he clearly doesnt get it.
    
    bj0rn

Then @metroshane (metroshane) said

    My sister suggests that you tie a (new, clean) tampon to your keys; she swears he won't take them
    
    * * *
    
    I hope he never has to tie a string around his finger!
    
    * * *
    
    We live in an age that reads to much to be wise, and thinks too much to be beautiful–Oscar Wilde

So @Mullinator (Mullinator) replied

    If his picking up 2 sets keys causes this kind of reaction, what happens when he leaves the toilet seat up?
    
    What about bigger issues? Money, time, etc. I imagine large pieces of furniture are destroyed and your lungs almost burst from the outrage.

To which @Krispy_Original (Krispy Original) replied

    My wife has accidentally done this same thing to me maybe 2 or 3 times over the years and yes, it is frustrating, but it NEVER threatened our relationship.
    
    Shit happens

To which @beefymeg (beefymeg) replied

    Leaving the toilet seat up does not take away my only means of transportation for an entire day.
    
    Leaving the toilet seat up does not make me think I am losing my mind when I am tearing the house apart looking for my keys.
    
    * * *
    
    Sucks to your assmar.

Then @Coldfire (Coldfire) said

    ## But seriously Meg, how's the sex ?
    
    Coldfire
    
    * * *
    
    “You know how complex women are”
    
      * Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

To which @Rysdad (Rysdad) replied

    Absent-mindedness can ruin a relationship. It's likely that he grabbed all the keys without kendrawilliamson@example.com. It's highly unlikely that he did it to piss you off. I'll bet he's embarrassed as hell about it. (Roses, chocolate, and “special tenderness” are in order.)
    
    Try to think about the things you like about him. Then tell him that you'll cut his nuts off if he does it again (be smiling when you say it). He'll remember.
    
    If the relationship is good in other areas, don't let this episode ruin it.

@system (system) replied

    Well, think about it, anyway. I've been married for fifteen years, and I swear there are times I'm ready to divorce for similar behavior. In my case, the problem is that my husband has a photographic memory. What's wrong with that, you ask? Well, that means that no matter where he leaves anything, he can always find it. That makes his life just hunky-dory, but the rest of ours purely painful.
    
    It is my not-so-humble opinion that things have a place, and belong in that place, especially when there are several people living in one house who all need occasionally to be able to find and use that thing. If Hubby leaves it just anywhere, he can find it, but nobody else can. I have spent HOURS looking for things like a hammer, tape, the attachment for the mixer, etc. etc. etc. He went to Chicago one weekend and I bought a kendrawilliamson@example.com. Brought it home for the kids and me to put it together. It took me two F**ing hours to find a hammer. There's a drawer in the laundry room where this stuff belongs, dammit!
    
    These things can become really annoying in a marriage. I think it can be a sign of someone who's passive-aggressive; certainly if they were at all thoughtful of the people they live with these things would not happen regularly. Occasionally, yes, but not regularly.
    
    End my rant.
    
    -Melin

@UncleBeer (UncleBeer) replied

    I think maybe you need something **really big** attached to your keychain, like a bowling ball or a tire. That would make it absolutely impossible mistake keychains again.
    
    * * *
    
    **Dopeler effect:**  
    The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

So @beefymeg (beefymeg) replied

    Dear UncleBeer, Melin, Byz, bj0rn, Coldfire ;), Metro, Rys -  
    Thanks. I actually smiled for the first time this morning. I'll talk with him tonight, right after I punch him in his god-damned head.   
    I am still VERY angry - but now I can get some work done. I think the double-strength hot chocolate didn't hurt either.
    
    Move it to MPSIMS…
    
    * * *
    
    Sucks to your assmar.

To which @Flypsyde (Flypsyde) replied

    Meg-I wasn't commenting on the fairness of wringing his neck, but on the fact that you got to put a bet into the pool.
    
    And don't feel too bad about yelling. In fact, threaten him some more, show him how important it is to you that he pull his head from his ass.
    
    If for no other reason than you're going to drive his keys into his forehead so he'll know which are his.
    
    * * *
    
    Then he said, “That is that.”  
    And then he was gone.  
    -Dr. Seuss, * The Cat in the Hat*

To which @CanadianSue (CanadianSue) replied

    Meg, I dont have the problem with an adult taking my keys… but in one instance, I searched for my work keys for 6 days straight. I didnt tell anyone at work I had lost them because from experience I knew that if I had indeed lost them, I would be responsible for a bill of over $1,000.00 to have the whole school rekeyed. So instead I stripped my house inch by inch… or so I thought. I finally admitted to my boss that I had lost them and he checked into what we could do.
    
    That night while I was making supper, I went to get butter out of that convenient little compartment in the fridge and lo and behold there were my keys. Turning around, I saw my son with a very sheepish grin on his face.
    
    Now when I lose my keys (which is fairly often I have to admit) I head straight for the fridge first.
    
    Gotta love an 8 year old with a sense of humour.
    
    * * *
    
    I am me… accept it or not.

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