@Don_t_Panic (Don't Panic) posted a new topic, subject "Why the fuck can't I just get out of bed and leave the fucking house?". It read:

   I know self-pittings are kinda silly, but holy fuck… today I just fucking deserve it!
    
    I was supposed to go to a lecture today at 10:30, with another one starting at 12:30. I was up this morning at 6:00. At eight, I figure, “OK, I don't have to leave until ten. I can take a nap again for another hour. It'll be great.”
    
    :smack:
    
    I proceed to wake up again at 13:30.
    
    I'm a fucking asshole.

So @sandra_nz (sandra_nz) replied

    Alarm clock.
    
    Problem solved.

So @Don_t_Panic (Don't Panic) replied

    sandra_nz:
    
    > Alarm clock.  
    >  Problem solved.
    
    I have one. I set it. The damned thing rang (I assume). I turned it off _in my fucking sleep_. Not exactly the first time I've done that, either.
    
    Whatcha gonna do about _that_?
    
    Did I mention I'm an idiot?

So @sandra_nz (sandra_nz) replied

    You don't put it beside your bed, you put it somewhere you have to physically get out of bed and walk over to turn off.
    
    Try doing that in your sleep!

Then @Don_t_Panic (Don't Panic) said

    sandra_nz:
    
    > You don't put it beside your bed, you put it somewhere you have to physically get out of bed and walk over to turn off.
    > 
    > Try doing that in your sleep! 
    
    That's not such a fucking bad idea. Yeah. Doing that tomorrow.

To which @brewha (brewha) replied

    Get you one of THESE.
    
    I thought about getting one for my wife - who will happily snooze for an hour.

Then @jjimm (jjimm) said

    REALLY LOUD alarm clock, in locked metal box.
    
    Key to the box at bottom of large pitcher of cold water. In another room.

So @BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed (BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed) replied

    Yeah, depression sucks. Just get up and go. People make you feel better, even if you feel like a misanthrope most of the time. Even hating people makes you feel better-- you get to experience it on a personal level.

After which, @GomiBoy (GomiBoy) added

    Peak Banana:
    
    > That's not such a fucking bad idea. Yeah. Doing that tomorrow.
    
    I've been known to get up, cross the room, shut off my alarm, go back to sleep, and carry on until the afternoon. usually after a late night.
    
    I've also been known to have full conversations with people in my sleep. I have no recollection of them when I wake up, but have had conversations that made sense and everything, but was fully asleep.
    
    Luckily I seem to have grown out of both of these slightly bizarre behaviours. I can get up most of the time without nearly the struggle I had in my teens and 20s.

@E-Sabbath (E-Sabbath) replied

    I have this problem. To the point where alarm clocks have wound up in the dishwasher, and I have woken up under the bed three hours later.
    
    I have four alarm clocks, currently, two out of reach of my arms. One by my head, one by my toes.
    
    It works, mostly. Also, I get up two hours early.

So @dbuzman (dbuzman) replied

    I use a Screaming Meanie.

@guizot (guizot) replied

    I agree with **BellRung** –either you need to go to bed earlier, or see about depression. For many, work is a drag, but at least they feel they have some kind of purpose to get up. If you don't, maybe there's something else going on. I am not a psychologist, yada yada.
    
    There's also an alarm clock that runs around your room.

@Scarlett67 (Scarlett67) replied

    brewha:
    
    > Get you one of THESE.
    
    Or a Clocky!

So @Triskadecamus (Triskadecamus) replied

    I suppose observing regular sleeping hours is totally out of the question. Going to bed at midnight is the most effective way to be sure to wake up at 8:00 in the morning, or earlier. Actually scheduling yourself an appropriate number of hours of sleep, and observing that schedule could have an impact on how easily you awaken in the morning.
    
    Tris

So @MsWhatsit (MsWhatsit) replied

    Don't nap during the day if you have trouble waking up in time for appointments or other commitments.
    
    If this leaves you sleep-deprived, then you need to start going to bed earlier in the evening.
    
    I mean, I'm a pretty deep sleeper and I could provide a lot of suggestions about how to make yourself get out of bed in the morning (many of which have already been mentioned in this thread) but it seems to me that the heart of the problem is that you thought it was a good idea to go to sleep for a quick nap at 8 in the morning.
    
    If there are underlying problems causing this, such as insomnia or depression (or both) then you probably need to address those before fixing your sleeping problems. I wish you good luck with this.

After which, @Foxy40 (Foxy40) added

    Peak Banana:
    
    > I know self-pittings are kinda silly, but holy fuck… today I just fucking deserve it!
    > 
    > I was supposed to go to a lecture today at 10:30, with another one starting at 12:30. I was up this morning at 6:00. At eight, I figure, “OK, I don't have to leave until ten. I can take a nap again for another hour. It'll be great.”
    > 
    > :smack:
    > 
    > I proceed to wake up again at 13:30.
    > 
    > I'm a fucking asshole.
    
    I was a little disappointed as from the title of this thread, I was hoping for someone with my problem. I can get up on time and I do. More than “on time”, I arise 2.5 to 3 hours before I must leave the house. I stay up. I watch TV, fold laundry, drink coffee and the next thing I know, it is time for me to leave for work and I haven't even showered yet.
    
    At least if I went back to sleep, I would feel I was at least having an excuse for not being on time. i just can't seem to get my shit together without at least three hours of prep time.

Then @Thorium_Indium_Potassium (Thorium Indium Potassium) said

    sandra_nz:
    
    > You don't put it beside your bed, you put it somewhere you have to physically get out of bed and walk over to turn off.
    > 
    > Try doing that in your sleep! 
    
    I can do it. I used to have the alarm clock on the other side of the room and would get up, stumble to the other side of the room, hit the sleep button and crawl back into a dream. I could do this for a full hour before I convinced myself I should actually get up.
    
    And it's not a depression issue, I just really like sleep and would like to sleep 10 hours a day if possible, but getting up at 6am makes it hard to actually get that 10 hours.

Then @Belrix (Belrix) said

    I do the double-alarm clock thing and it works very well. I have a clock next to my bed to tell me the time, I have one across the room to wake me up. Sometimes I turn off the first alarm and enable the second alarm on the cross-room clock - it's set for an hour later.
    
    I have a long history of turning off alarms in my sleep and I've had two alarm clocks since my college days.

To which @Gukumatz (Gukumatz) replied

    brewha:
    
    > Get you one of THESE.
    > 
    > I thought about getting one for my wife - who will happily snooze for an hour.
    
    I've got a pretty cool one that my dad and my uncle (the mechanics teacher and the programmer respectively) actually made for my 19th birthday. It's sitting on my night-table, with a thin cable leading up to a “seating” in the roof. When the bell starts ringing, a small motor in the seating drags the clock up to the roof so I actually have to get out of the bed, up _on_ the bed and stretch to drag it down and turn it off.
    
    Works like a charm and only took them three days to design and make.

To which @Bryan_Ekers (Bryan Ekers) replied

    jjimm:
    
    > REALLY LOUD alarm clock, in locked metal box.
    > 
    > Key to the box at bottom of large pitcher of cold water. In another room.
    
    And you have to reach into a box full of razor blades to get the key to that room. And the alarm has triggered the release of a poison gas will will build to lethal levels in 60 seconds. And the only way to deactivate the electromagnet holding the metal box's lid shut is to short out the electrodes with your own hands…  
    …just think of it as a game.

So @Sattua (Sattua) replied

    Get a very loud but lightweight alarm clock.
    
    Tie it to the cat.

So @Pullet (Pullet) replied

    Molière's Harpagon:
    
    > You problem is using the wrong anagram, a common problem in places where 13:30 is a real time.
    > 
    > You are operating under the anagram for peak banana of “A Baa Nap Ken” which makes you count sheep and know (ken) sleep.
    > 
    > Instead, use this one: “A Paean Bank” Not a lot of money, but enough to deposit.
    
    What?

After which, @Pullet (Pullet) added

    Foxy40:
    
    > I was a little disappointed as from the title of this thread, I was hoping for someone with my problem. I can get up on time and I do. More than “on time”, I arise 2.5 to 3 hours before I must leave the house. I stay up. I watch TV, fold laundry, drink coffee and the next thing I know, it is time for me to leave for work and I haven't even showered yet.
    > 
    > At least if I went back to sleep, I would feel I was at least having an excuse for not being on time. i just can't seem to get my shit together without at least three hours of prep time.
    
    Why not shower first? Then you can do chores right up until leaving time.

Then @Ludovic (Ludovic) said

    Molière's Harpagon:
    
    > You problem is using the wrong anagram, a common problem in places where 13:30 is a real time.
    > 
    > You are operating under the anagram for peak banana of “A Baa Nap Ken” which makes you count sheep and know (ken) sleep.
    > 
    > Instead, use this one: “A Paean Bank” Not a lot of money, but enough to deposit.
    
    Or: Bane, aka “nap”.

After which, @Fugazi (Fugazi) added

    Triskadecamus:
    
    > I suppose observing regular sleeping hours is totally out of the question. Going to bed at midnight is the most effective way to be sure to wake up at 8:00 in the morning, or earlier. Actually scheduling yourself an appropriate number of hours of sleep, and observing that schedule could have an impact on how easily you awaken in the morning.
    > 
    > Tris
    
    Now that's just crazy talk.

After which, @Gala_Matrix_Fire (Gala Matrix Fire) added

    Oh good, someplace to post this.  
    ThinkGeek has a bunch of great alarm clocks. I just found out about this one that you program to donate money to a cause you hate if you don't get out of bed.
    
    gamestop.com
    
    ### ThinkGeek - Shirts, Toys, Collectibles & More | GameStop
    
    View all results for thinkgeek. Search our huge selection of new and used video games at fantastic wjoseph@example.org.
    
    I don't need it because I go to sleep eight hours before I need to get up, and I never have any trouble getting up. But I can see where it would be verrrry useful.

Then @Don_t_Panic (Don't Panic) said

    Gala Matrix Fire:
    
    > Oh good, someplace to post this.  
    >  ThinkGeek has a bunch of great alarm clocks. I just found out about this one that you program to donate money to a cause you hate if you don't get out of bed.  
    >  http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/snuznluz.shtml
    
    Oh man! That's the one I'm getting.

Then @Swallowed_My_Cellphone (Swallowed My Cellphone) said

    sandra_nz:
    
    > You don't put it beside your bed, you put it somewhere you have to physically get out of bed and walk over to turn off.
    
    Then it just becomes an element of your dream. I remember dreaming about being in school and the freakin' bell kept ringing to tell us recess was over and we kept ignoring it, but it _kept ringing!_
    
    Yeah, I was late for work that day.

To which @AdmiralCrunch (AdmiralCrunch) replied

    Molière's Harpagon:
    
    > You problem is using the wrong anagram, a common problem in places where 13:30 is a real time.
    > 
    > You are operating under the anagram for peak banana of “A Baa Nap Ken” which makes you count sheep and know (ken) sleep.
    > 
    > Instead, use this one: “A Paean Bank” Not a lot of money, but enough to deposit.
    
    I can't believe you guys are still talking about some idiot who can't make it to a 10:30 class when we've got this delightful bit of insanity.

@Alice_The_Goon (Alice The Goon) replied

    Molière's Harpagon:
    
    > You problem is using the wrong anagram, a common problem in places where 13:30 is a real time.
    > 
    > You are operating under the anagram for peak banana of “A Baa Nap Ken” which makes you count sheep and know (ken) sleep.
    > 
    > Instead, use this one: “A Paean Bank” Not a lot of money, but enough to deposit.
    
    I find this refreshing, and funny as hell.
    
    **Tris** pretty much nailed it- you're not going to bed early enough. I also need a lot of sleep, 10 hours a night would be good, always have been like that and probably always will. I, too, am a stay-up-later. I love the nightlife, I like to boogie (or watch TV and surf the internet- whatever). I also have a job, which means I have to get up early. Boo. So every night I pretty much have to make a choice- go to bed in time to get lots of sleep that I need, or stay up late? Staying up late usually wins. On time for me would be 10, but I usually stay up until gasp! 11 or 11:30- we're not talking the middle of the night here, but that extra hour or two really make a big difference either way.  
    I can hit the snooze button repeatedly and try to sneak in more sleep for a few days, but eventually if I don't start getting more sleep, my body will shut down one morning, and go into a semi-coma, and then I will be really late. Sounds like that's what happened to you this morning.

@Mark_Ryle (Mark Ryle) replied

    Peak Banana:
    
    > I have one [alarm clock]. I set it. The … thing rang (I assume). I turned it off _in my … sleep_. Not exactly the first time I've done that, either.
    
    The alarm clock that donates money to the GOP if not dealt with might not solve your problem because you do actually turn off your present alarm just fine, then forget you did it.
    
    I agree with **dbuzman**. Screaming Meanie is versatile and has a number of tricks to get you up. Yes it will really scream, but also has medium and soft settings, the soft quite pleasant. It rings in five-minute intervals twice before the time you actually set, waking you up gradually. It works for me.

After which, @Maui_Lion (Maui Lion) added

    Gala Matrix Fire:
    
    > Oh good, someplace to post this.  
    >  ThinkGeek has a bunch of great alarm clocks. I just found out about this one that you program to donate money to a cause you hate if you don't get out of bed.  
    >  http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/snuznluz.shtml  
    >  I don't need it because I go to sleep eight hours before I need to get up, and I never have any trouble getting up. But I can see where it would be verrrry useful.
    
    Uhm, actually, I think that clock was a past April Fool's joke. Like the WiiHelm thing they had before too. Notice it says availability is “Presumably” and buying it gets you Bankrupt geek points.  
    Though they do have lots of other cool clocks too. Get the one that shakes your bed and makes noise louder than a jackhammer.

To which @Gala_Matrix_Fire (Gala Matrix Fire) replied

    Aw, man. I thought it was real.

To which @Declan (Declan) replied

    Peak Banana:
    
    > I have one. I set it. The damned thing rang (I assume). I turned it off _in my fucking sleep_. Not exactly the first time I've done that, either.
    > 
    > Whatcha gonna do about _that_?
    > 
    > Did I mention I'm an idiot?
    
    Instead of setting the alarm , that blaring sound that says you have twenty minutes to get to minimum safe distance, set it to a radio station if its a dual purpose and keep the volume just above minimum.
    
    The way its supposed to work is that the radio will cut in and music will seep into your rem state and slowly you surface to awakening.And when you first awake , the volume on the radio will probably seem louder than it actually is. takes me at most three minutes from the time the radio comes on, and trying to go back to sleep is almost impossible.
    
    Declan

@Saga (Saga) replied

    If had something worthwhile leaving for then you probably would.

So @EastCoastPearl (EastCoastPearl) replied

    The thing that always worked best for me was when I used to sleep over at my ex's place where there was no alarm clock in existence. Somehow I always managed to wake up on time and get home and get ready for work and not be late. I think it was the fear of oversleeping due to there being no alarm clock that would wake me up.
    
    I keep thinking I should try that again (not the sleeping with the ex part, but the sleeping without an alarm clock part) and see if it works any better.
    
    Right now I have an alarm clock with two alarms (one's the radio, the other will either beep or go cockadoodledoo), AND I usually set my cell phone next to my bed for a third alarm. AND my husband always turns on all the lights and lets the cats in when he leaves in the morning which eventually wakes me up (he's a morning person, the bastard.)

So @Geek_Mecha (Geek Mecha) replied

    Maui Lion:
    
    > Uhm, actually, I think that clock was a past April Fool's joke. Like the WiiHelm thing they had before too. Notice it says availability is “Presumably” and buying it gets you Bankrupt geek points.
    
    Not to mention the M crossed out on the top left where it says “stuff for smart masses”, the Really Fine Print about their 50 percent commission, and the page you get when you click Add to Cart.

After which, @glee (glee) added

    Peak Banana:
    
    > I know self-pittings are kinda silly, but holy fuck… today I just fucking deserve it!
    > 
    > I was supposed to go to a lecture today at 10:30, with another one starting at 12:30. I was up this morning at 6:00. At eight, I figure, “OK, I don't have to leave until ten. I can take a nap again for another hour. It'll be great.”
    > 
    > :smack:
    > 
    > I proceed to wake up again at 13:30.
    > 
    > I'm a fucking asshole.
    
    If you're waking up 2 hours early, maybe you should go to bed later.
    
    In general, give yourself a decent time to sleep (e.g. 8 hours).  
    Don't get drunk the night before a lecture either. :eek:

@Zoe (Zoe) replied

    I am having the exact same problem that you do. And I'm having it for the first time in my life at the age of 64.
    
    For all of the years that I taught school, I _had_ to be on time or there would be a riot in the hallway outside my door. So I was there every morning at 6:45 am. A lot of the time it was still dark! I could count on one hand the number of times I was late in twenty years.
    
    Suddenly, I can't get _anywhere_ on time even in the middle of the day. I get up three hours early, have a cup of coffee, take a provigil, and then take a nap. By the time I wake up and get going, I'm going to be late. This is usually after a full night's sleep. (I do have to take lots of pills.)
    
    Those provigils are given to fighter pilots to keep them awake. You would think that I would be a live wire.
    
    I do have depression, by the way. And I never recognize the symptoms when it comes 'round again – except that it messes with my sleeping habits.
    
    Try showering and planning what to wear the night before. If you tend to be a girl, do your make up first thing.

@BlinkingDuck (BlinkingDuck) replied

    What you need is a George Jetson alarm clock.
    
    George Jetson…time to get up…


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