@Mangetout (Mangetout) posted a new topic, subject "Vile, rank 'foodstuffs'". It read:

   inspired by this pit thread:
    
    What foodstuffs really should not be allowed to exist (or perhaps should by statute have to be labelled “this product is horrible, HORRIBLE! - do not be deceived into thinking that it resembles the ‘real' thing in any way”.
    
    To begin (and from the pit thread):
    
    **Pre-grated parmesan cheese**  
    Parmesan cheese = nice, tangy, salty, flavoursome hard cheese that perfectly complements many mediterranean dishes.  
    Pre-grated parmesan (or worse: ‘parmesan style') cheese = powdered vomit.

Then @Gary_Kumquat (Gary Kumquat) said

    I can't believe it's not butter.
    
    Has anyone ever felt like this upon tasting the congealed gloop? I can't believe it's not mucus might be more accurate.

@Desmostylus (Desmostylus) replied

    Coffee whitener.
    
    Ovaltine.
    
    Compounded Chocolate.
    
    (But are you saying that there are foods that you won't eat, **Mangetout**? Kinda conflicts with your username. :))

After which, @Miss_Mapp (Miss Mapp) added

    Fat-free Philly cream-cheese.
    
    Mmmm… spreadable chalk.

Then @Mangetout (Mangetout) said

    Oh, I've _tried_ lots of things (in the true spirit of my username), but there are some foods where I won't be first in line for a second helping.

@friedo (friedo) replied

    I _like_ pre-grated parmesan cheese. Especially the Kraft stuff. I pile it on top of my spaghetti.
    
    But if we're going to ban some stuff, how about something _truly_ evil, like Margerine?

@Mangetout (Mangetout) replied

    Well now, margarine is fine as long as you don't try to kid yourself that it is butter - it has it's uses, particularly in baking where butter is just too strongly flavoured and would dominate the taste.

After which, @jjimm (jjimm) added

    Spray cheese.
    
    Margarine (not the polyunsaturated stuff, the original stuff).
    
    Cochineal (look it up; you won't be happy).
    
    Gluten-free soda bread. :barf:

So @Mangetout (Mangetout) replied

    **jjimm** \- are you restricted to a gluten-free diet?

@Desmostylus (Desmostylus) replied

    _Tang_. Mind you, it's at least 25 years since I last tasted it, but it still makes me shudder.

Then @jjimm (jjimm) said

    > *Originally posted by Mangetout *  
    >  ** **jjimm** \- are you restricted to a gluten-free diet? **
    
    I have IBS, and so I've experimented with various regimens to attempt to stop the symptoms (coz the quacks never managed). Gluten-free stuff tends to be absolutely disgusting. I've played around with rice flour and soy flour, but nothing comes close to real bread.
    
    Thankfully I don't suffer symptoms much any more since I discovered low-carb (and no longer eat bread in any large quantities).

Then @D_Odds (D_Odds) said

    Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, or any packaged Mac and Cheese with powdered flavoring packs.
    
    “Individually Wrapped, Pasteurized, Processed Cheese Food” Kraft, again, is a major supplier.
    
    I believe one of the layers of Hell is named Kraft

@Motorgirl (Motorgirl) replied

    Chewable children's vitamins. The flavor and texture makes me barf. I used to tell my mom they made my stomach hurt, but she didn't believe me 'til the day I barfed one back up, along with my breakfast.
    
    I didn't have to take vitamins again until I learned how to swallow a pill.

Then @Mangetout (Mangetout) said

    > *Originally posted by D_Odds *  
    >  **“Individually Wrapped, Pasteurized, Processed Cheese Food” **
    
    As is usual when the term ‘cheese food' pops up, I must ask; _does cheese really need to eat?_ \- even if it _did_ , would it choose to eat Kraft slices?

@Gary_Kumquat (Gary Kumquat) replied

    > would it choose to eat Kraft slices?
    
    Only if it were particularly tasteless cheese - Edam maybe?

To which @Morgainelf (Morgainelf) replied

    Fat-Free Mayonnaise. Really, what's the point?
    
    Also, Cool Whip.

So @DaddyTimesTwo (DaddyTimesTwo) replied

    The price of real parmesan cheese makes me dizzy, so there's only the evil powdered stuff in my house. And we ususally get the romano-parmesan and it's great with the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray that we also get.
    
    We are a house of philistines, I know. 
    
    And {B]Mangetout**, Even though I know it's wrong (and I did take French in high school) I still read your username as “man-get-out”. I apologize for being so _American_.

After which, @DaddyTimesTwo (DaddyTimesTwo) added

    We put the “cheese” and “butter” on popcorn (made from real kernels not the microwave bag kind). I left that out.

To which @Mangetout (Mangetout) replied

    > *Originally posted by DaddyTimesTwo *  
    >  **And **Mangetout** , Even though I know it's wrong (and I did take French in high school) I still read your username as “man-get-out”. I apologize for being so _American_.  **
    
    Happens all the time; don't worry about it (the first time it was pointed out to me was in a chat room and I took huge offence, thinking that the other person was telling me to get lost).

After which, @Kalhoun (Kalhoun) added

    Wha?
    
    I thought it was Man Get Out also. But I originally thought it was Mange Tout, and I don't even have a clue as to what that would be. What is the correct pronunciation and meaning of your name? Not to hijack or anything.
    
    I think all forms of the beet should be in violation of human rules of consumption. They just aren't right.
    
    And the Asians can knock it off with the deep-fried spiders, too. If I ever see one of THOSE stands at the state fair, I'm on the next plane outta here!
    
    I love Macaroni & Cheese. Low-brow that I am.
    
    Celery can die.
    
    Those 10,000 year old eggs you get at Chinese New Year celebrations? Keep 'em.

To which @Mangetout (Mangetout) replied

    Mange Tout = French for ‘eat all' - also the name given to immature peapods where the whole pod is eaten. Not pronounced _maynj towt_ , more like _monj tou_.

So @D_Odds (D_Odds) replied

    **Kalhoun** , I love macaroni and cheese too. Just none that comes out of a box (well, the elbows can come out of a box, but I think you know what I mean). I just made some this weekend.
    
    To the best of my knowledge, **Daddy** , microwave popcorn are ‘real' kernels. It just turns out that the microwave is a very efficient way to cook any popcorn. And yes, parmesan cheese is not cheap, but it's not a tradeoff I'm willing to make.

To which @Mooch (Mooch) replied

    I think they should ban the foul substance known as **“Miracle” Whip**. It's a miracle they can turn a profit selling this stuff.

Then @Mangetout (Mangetout) said

    What exactly is Miracle Whip? - from context, I've never been able to quite work out whether it is a dessert or a mayonnaise substitute.

Then @JayElle (JayElle) said

    Well my IBS is triggered by fat, so I'm afraid my pantry and fridge are filled with the “abominable” I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, fat-free Miracle Whip, fat free Parmesan style cheese food, and other crimes against nature.
    
    One of the absolute nastiest products I've ever wasted money on, was Brown Sugar Total cereal. Imagine cardstock covered with a thin, impenetrable veneer of brown molasses flavored shellac. Ugh - my mouth can _still_ taste the vileness!

So @Odieman (Odieman) replied

    The powdered fake butter you can add to popcorn is high on my list…all of the calories and none of the flavor. You can also add Coffee Mate to the list, whodathunk that it would actually be better for your heart to use real cream.

So @Mooch (Mooch) replied

    Miracle Whip for dessert?:eek:
    
    Miracle Whip topped hot chocolate  
    Pie a la Miracle Whip  
    Miracle Whip torte
    
    Ugh…I thought it was mainly used in lieu of the store being out of Hellman's or something (or not knowing how to make your own - I made some recently using thyme vinegar mmmmmmm).

So @scout1222 (scout1222) replied

    Miracle Whip - a mayonnaise substitute
    
    Urp. Let's not go down that road. We shall raise **Fenris'** hackles far too high.

Then @Mooch (Mooch) said

    Oh, and in case someone thinks I am some sort of foodist or fooderali or something, I do love my Kraft macaroni & cheese and have a special place in my heart for it. I think it's my arteries.
    
    Does a foodist eat in the nude?

After which, @Myron_Van_Horowitzski (Myron Van Horowitzski) added

    > *Originally posted by DaddyTimesTwo *  
    >  **The price of real parmesan cheese makes me dizzy, so there's only the evil powdered stuff in my house. **
    
    I felt that way too, Daddy. Then I recovered from my dizziness and saw that while our store was charging $3.99 per pound for whole chunks of parm, the $3.99 Kraft canister of powdered stuff is only _8 ounces._
    
    And if you run the chunk slowly through the fine shredder on high speed (KitchenAid, yeah!), you get the same fluffy texture of the Kraft, except it doesn't taste like grated umbrella handles.

Then @Honey (Honey) said

    Microwave popcorn  
    Make your own pizza in a box  
    “Instant” mashed potatoes  
    Spam

Then @Ferret_Herder (Ferret Herder) said

    > *Originally posted by scout1222 *  
    >  Miracle Whip - a mayonnaise substitute
    
    Specifically, it seems to have a much smoother texture and a somewhat sweeter taste than regular mayonnaise. It also doesn't have a slightly yellow tinge to it, unlike some mayonnaises I've seen.
    
    The label calls it “salad dressing”, but it's more like a sauce for cold pasta/potato/egg/tuna salads than the sort of dressing one puts over greens and other vegetables.

After which, @Crusoe (Crusoe) added

    Anything involving the word “jellied”.

To which @Master_Wang-Ka (Master Wang-Ka) replied

    Potted meat food product.
    
    Aka “meat putty”.
    
    Aka “Mystery Pate”.

So @Judith_Prietht (Judith Prietht) replied

    Spam is okay. Treet is not.

Then @teela_brown (teela brown) said

    Cooked, chopped, pressed, formed _anything_.

So @zoid (zoid) replied

    Brussel Sprouts.  
    I love pretty much all other veggies but I can't stand these.

So @Captain_Lance_Murdoch (Captain Lance Murdoch) replied

    Fig Newtons

After which, @LolaCocaCola (LolaCocaCola) added

    baby corn is tha devil.
    
    :o

Then @Annie-Xmas (Annie-Xmas) said

    Whoever decided blueberries are edible was a sick person. NOTHING that color is edible.
    
    And Jello. The texture alone should be a clue that it is not food.

After which, @Swampwolf (Swampwolf) added

    no, no, no…you fine folks have found foods which are disgusting, yes. But none of them, **none** of them are as vile, foul, unnatural and (dare I say?) evil as chitlins (or chitterlings).
    
    I tried them once.
    
    once.
    
    For those who don't know what they are, I'll pre-apologise for telling you. They are pig intestines, washed and boiled. Often eaten fried.
    
    When I tried them, it was because it was something I had never had…either they weren't washed well enough, or they're _supposed_ to smell like pigs–t. I'm not sure which.  
    I said to myself, “well, sure they smell like something you'd step in if you weren't careful. But there are plenty of foods which smell bad but taste just fine! Give 'em a try!”
    
    Well, I was right. There _are_ plenty of foods which smell bad but taste just fine. Chitlins are not among them. They taste exactly the way they smell.  
    And the texture? EWWWWW! Imagine hot dog casing filled with warm cream cheese. The worst part was, after my first bite, I thought, “Well, maybe it's a taste that grows on you! I'll try another forkful!”
    
    I sent it back and ordered an omelet.

After which, @Flutterby (Flutterby) added

    Two words: Cheese Whiz
    
    What evil mind could have come up with this stuff? It is the sickest most vile thing I have ever had the misfortune to taste (right above shampoo… don't ask)
    
    Pretty much anything Kraft drives me nuts, and I have _major_ problems with anything that is called cheese but is not real cheese. Except the Kraft parmesan, that stuff is about the only one I can actually stand simply because it mixes into the spaghetti easily.

@dwyr (dwyr) replied

    Actually Miracle Whip is a must have for, when combined with Jello you have the basis of that Southern classic-the congealed salad. Throw in some pickled peaches and that is good eating. Especially with salty, smoky country-cured ham.
    
    I, too, must cast my lot with the Parmigiano people. It is just so good. On the other hand, I won't make grilled cheese sandwiches with anything but Velveeta which is heresy to my brother.
    
    I think the only foodstuffs I won't touch even though I've tried them several times are licorice-flavored things such as fennel, tarragon and anise. Just can't stand them.
    
    I've also never been able to bring myself to try either tripe or chicken feet so I can't really call them vile but mercy, they don't look that appetizing.

@SmackFu (SmackFu) replied

    Store brand nacho chips (Doritos). Cardboard coated with yucky red dust.

After which, @lel (lel) added

    Mustard. Whoever decided that that was food was mistaken in my opinion.

So @Caught_Work (Caught@Work) replied

    **Doritos Cheese Supreme Corn Chips.**
    
    Another corn snack. What is it with corn and cheese … and garlic. At least this one lists the garlic on the pack.
    
    Opened the packet and the first smell is like a room at a school camp. Smelly, sweaty, unwashed jocks, almost dusty, but definitely not clean. They only list _cheese powder_ on the packet, so by the smell, it's limburger.
    
    Most of the chips are in their triangular shape, albeit isosceles rather than the depicted equilateral.
    
    Has the texture of corn and rock, ground up by Neanderthals, bashing the corn between rocks and leaving the rock behind.
    
    Eventually gets soggy, but in the meantime, the sharp edges when the chip is crunched are capable of being used as scalpels.
    
    One chip, two cuts in the mouth and with the amount of salt being used here, not a happy feeling.
    
    Tastes not of cheese, but of dragons arse.

So @LolaCocaCola (LolaCocaCola) replied

    I'll take dragon's arse over baby corn any ol' day.

Then @Leaper (Leaper) said

    > *Originally posted by Mangetout *  
    >  **inspired by this pit thread:
    > 
    > What foodstuffs really should not be allowed to exist (or perhaps should by statute have to be labelled “this product is horrible, HORRIBLE! - do not be deceived into thinking that it resembles the ‘real' thing in any way”.
    > 
    > To begin (and from the pit thread):
    > 
    > **Pre-grated parmesan cheese**  
    >  Parmesan cheese = nice, tangy, salty, flavoursome hard cheese that perfectly complements many mediterranean dishes.  
    >  Pre-grated parmesan (or worse: ‘parmesan style') cheese = powdered vomit. **
    
    BTW, since the OP directly takes issue with my choice of foodstuff, I feel moved to defend myself. 
    
    I eat pasta fairly often, but not often enough to justify getting the real parmesan cheese. I'm afraid that if I get even a small block of the stuff, I will not be able to use it within the 1.5 months or less that is probably required, and it will go bad, and I will have wasted a significant amount of money, as often happens with very many foodstuffs I buy.
    
    If you have another option for me (besides the FoodSaver, which I have been tempted to get for other reasons), please let me know!
    
    Oh, and I would like to add my vote for Miracle Whip. and a dozen other things I can't think of right now.

Then @Airman_Doors_USAF (Airman Doors, USAF) said

    Vegemite, aka Bottled Reconstituted Vomit.

Then @raz (raz) said

    Onions were thrown to earth from the pits of hell by the Devil himself.
    
    What's so horrible about onions is the fact that people like to hide them in food, and then tell you “You can't even taste them!” or “They dissolve!” No, they do not dissolve, and yes _I_ can taste them. Plus, it's not so much the taste as it is the texture.

@Ankh_Too (Ankh_Too) replied

    > *Originally posted by Leaper *  
    >  **BTW, since the OP directly takes issue with my choice of foodstuff, I feel moved to defend myself. 
    > 
    > I eat pasta fairly often, but not often enough to justify getting the real parmesan cheese. I'm afraid that if I get even a small block of the stuff, I will not be able to use it within the 1.5 months or less that is probably required, and it will go bad, and I will have wasted a significant amount of money, as often happens with very many foodstuffs I buy.  
    >  **
    
    Well, I have to say that I buy the real Parmigiano Reggiano in blocks up to a pound and have never, ever had it go bad on me. Hell, I've got rinds in the fridge that are several months old (I use them in the pasta water when I remember) and none of them have a spot of mold on them, just a bit dehydrated, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Then @vivalostwages (vivalostwages) said

    Scrapple.  
    http://www.chickenhead.com/scrapple/
    
    My Pennsylvania-born parents love it, and I think it's the most repulsive thing ever.

So @amarinth (amarinth) replied

    > *Originally posted by DaddyTimesTwo *  
    >  **We put the “cheese” and “butter” on popcorn (made from real kernels not the microwave bag kind). I left that out. **
    
    Strangely enough, I put real butter and real shredded cheese (Tillamook Cheddar) on microwave popcorn. It melts so nicely in the bag.
    
    Velveeta & velveeta substitutes. Macaroni and Cheese out of a box. Any product that has the word “cheez” in it. Formed chicken. And just so you know, pickled food is generally a mistake. And that's just the beginning.

So @Desmostylus (Desmostylus) replied

    > *Originally posted by Leaper *  
    >  **I'm afraid that if I get even a small block of the stuff, I will not be able to use it within the 1.5 months or less that is probably required, and it will go bad, and I will have wasted a significant amount of money, as often happens with very many foodstuffs I buy**
    
    I buy the real stuff, and the Deli where I buy it will run it through the grater at no extra cost. I put the bag of grated parmesan in the freezer.
    
    You can put frozen grated parmesan directly on pasta, the heat from the pasta will warm it in seconds.
    
    If you're serving to guests, you can put some frozen grated parmesan in a bowl a few hours before you need to use it, to give it time to thaw.

To which @jjimm (jjimm) replied

    > *Originally posted by Ankh_Too *  
    >  **Well, I have to say that I buy the real Parmigiano Reggiano in blocks up to a pound and have never, ever had it go bad on me. Hell, I've got rinds in the fridge that are several months old (I use them in the pasta water when I remember) and none of them have a spot of mold on them, just a bit dehydrated, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. **
    
    Friends of mine used to go to Italy once a year and buy an entire round (“truckle”?) of parmigiano. They would keep it on top of a kitchen cupboard, and hack bits off it every time they needed some. It never went off, because it's a dry cheese. I think the worst that could happen is that the fat in the cheese goes rancid, but that didn't happen within the year.

To which @Caught_Work (Caught@Work) replied

    > *Originally posted by Airman Doors, USAF *  
    >  **Vegemite, aka Bottled Reconstituted Vomit. **
    
    Hey there, don't you go knocking good old Vegemite.  
    Obviously you've never had enough of it to get used to is, after all, it is an … acquired taste.
    
    OTOH, I can't stand Pumpkin Pie. It's a vegetable. In a pie. For dessert. Heaaaaaaaaaaaaave!

To which @Desmostylus (Desmostylus) replied

    > *Originally posted by Caught@Work *  
    >  **I can't stand Pumpkin Pie. It's a vegetable.**
    
    No, it's a fruit.

After which, @Larry_Mudd (Larry Mudd) added

    Most of my hated foods have been mentioned already. I'd extend the contempt expressed for Miracle Whip to most “mayonaisse” that comes in a jar.
    
    I was raised in a family that was real big on crap food. I was visiting my mum recently and she was proud as punch about the ‘decadent' cake she made for the visit-- from a mix, covered in Cool Whip, with a _thick_ layer of supermarket “Bavarian Cream” in between the layers. She was hurt when I couldn't bring myself to eat it. Quote: “That's _real_ Bavarian Cream!” Sorry ma, real Bavarian Cream doesn't come in a gallon tub and keep indefinitely in the refrigerator. And generally speaking, it doesn't make you gag.
    
    Other horrors from my childhood-- “Lemon Cheez” and “Marshmallow Fluff” – both abominations from Kraft, if I recall correctly. I could usually find some sugar-deprived sucker who'd trade sandwiches with me at school lunchtime, but I got those things _every day_. And Nutella. It's really a miracle that I survived.
    
    Anything from Kraft seems more like psychological warfare than sustenance to me. Philadelphia Cream Cheese?? You can't fool me – that's _caulk_. Don't get me started on their salad dressings. Talk about dressing _down_.
    
    And is there another company in the world that markets something they call, without even blushing, an _Aseptic Juice Drink_? Jesus!

@Dr_Paprika (Dr_Paprika) replied

    Someone named mangetout should eat anything.
    
    And what ever happened to Zenster?

@Gary_Kumquat (Gary Kumquat) replied

    > *Originally posted by Airman Doors, USAF *  
    >  **Vegemite, aka Bottled Reconstituted Vomit. **
    
    Now that sir is fighting talk. I demand satisfaction, or you can post me a jar of vegemite. Or marmite, either will do.

After which, @jjimm (jjimm) added

    > *Originally posted by Gary Kumquat *  
    >  **Now that sir is fighting talk. I demand satisfaction, or you can post me a jar of vegemite. Or marmite, either will do. **
    
    Do you want to pit him, or shall I?

Then @cowgirl (cowgirl) said

    Kraft Dinner: I love it. Even though it's vile. Same for Mr Noodle. I am comfortable with this contradiction, and eat lots of organic broccoli to appease the gods because of it.
    
    But the most vile, which would never cross my lips, no matter what the incentive:
    
    **Jellied eels**. Who ever thought that was a good idea?
    
    “Hey, this eel isn't quite doing it for me. How can we improve the flavour? … Oh, I know …”

So @Left_Hand_of_Dorkness (Left Hand of Dorkness) replied

    Okay, jellied eels, sure. Kraft Krap, no problem. Miracle Whip, I gotcher back.
    
    But onions? Blueberries?! For the sweet sweet love of Jesus and Mary, pumpkin pie? What the hell is wrong with you people?
    
    I'm afraid I can't help your onion- and pie-phobias, but there may be help for you blueberry-haters: try some wild blueberries. Whereas domestic blueberries are bland viscous balls of sweetened yuck, wild blueberries are tart and flavorful and thrilling, the apex of summer in the mountains. And there's nothing in the world better than a wild blueberry pie.
    
    If you want really gross food – and I mean really, really, really, really, really gross food, the kind of thing that Bugs Bunny coughs up after 20 years of smoking – try uni.
    
    Daniel

@amarinth (amarinth) replied

    > *Originally posted by DanielWithrow *  
    >  **I'm afraid I can't help your onion- and pie-phobias, but there may be help for you blueberry-haters: try some wild blueberries. Whereas domestic blueberries are bland viscous balls of sweetened yuck, wild blueberries are tart and flavorful and thrilling, the apex of summer in the mountains. And there's nothing in the world better than a wild blueberry pie.**
    
    Every time I've ever had wild blueberries (or domestic) they still had those nastily textured seeds in them. And they still have the flavor of blueberries, but more so. That fails to make them edible.

To which @Gary_Kumquat (Gary Kumquat) replied

    > *Originally posted by jjimm *  
    >  **Do you want to pit him, or shall I? **
    
    Pitting is too good for the philistine.

So @curly_chick (curly chick) replied

    At the risk of being banned from these boards by the patriotic Americans, I cannot help but state that the vilest, most purtid and rank, awful and rotten foostuff ever created has to be peanut butter - The phlegm of the Devil
    
    Yes, I have tried it in America. With jam/jelly.  
    And yes, I love Marmite
    
    (Maybe that's it - the two are mutually exclusive)

@OpalCat (OpalCat) replied

    American cheese. Gah! Disgusting.

To which @Left_Hand_of_Dorkness (Left Hand of Dorkness) replied

    Peanut Butter's texture is nothing like phlegm – closer to pus, or poop. But not phlegm. And it's tasty. Back off, man!
    
    Daniel

To which @cowgirl (cowgirl) replied

    I have a dear friend who I once observed boil a brick of Mr Noodles, drain them, toss on a slice of American Cheese, and slather with ketchup.
    
    All he needed was some Miracle Whip, he must have run out.
    
    … am in the process of teaching him how to cook.
    
    **curly** : I am a fan of both peanut butter AND marmite. (But never at the same time!) Are there others like me?

@guy_from_wpa (guy_from_wpa) replied

    These are all things I have sold in the deli:
    
    Sous–clear jelly with random bits of leftover meat byproducts
    
    Headcheese (the name reminds me of something else disgusting)
    
    Blood Tounge (I don't want to eat any think that can taste me back)
    
    Pickled Pigs Feet (looks like rotting flesh in a jar)

Then @SandyHook (SandyHook) said

    Wow, you all have covered some good ground here. A french lesson from Mangetout (more on this later), some interesting takes on foods, and a couple of great inter-country food slams.  
    Mangetout, when I first saw your name I honestly thought it was mange tout. As in one who goes door-to-door extroling the vitrues of pet skin diseases. Which, I gotta say, made me wonder about any comments you might have. Later it switched in my mind to, “man get out.” This didn't make any more sense but it did make me feel a lot better about you. “Eats all,” is a serious step up, IMHO.
    
    Pumpkin pie:  
    We went to Australia a few years ago. We were…surprised (yeah, that's the ticket, surprised) to see **PUMPKIN SOUP** on the menu. Not to mention that every buffet kind of thing we saw had chunks of sliced up pumpkin on offer.
    
    Peanut butter:  
    Mmmmmmm…peanut butter.  
    We visited some friends in Melbourne. While talking Mr. Friend got to talking about some Americans he'd gotten to know in Vietnam. He was describing, in hideous detail, some horrible spread the “Yanks” put on bread and crackers. After a bit we determined this was, of course, PB. When the wife and I both said we loved it you could see that we had just dropped down a tad in their estimation.
    
    And this from people that eat Vegimite.  
    My personal food unfavorate:
    
    OYSTERS!!! Who the hell first thought of eating these. “Hey gang, monica26@example.org. It appears to be individually wrapped samples of cold snot. What say we eat it.”

After which, @Mangetout (Mangetout) added

    > *Originally posted by guy_from_wpa *  
    >  **These are all things I have sold in the deli:
    > 
    > Sous–clear jelly with random bits of leftover meat byproducts
    > 
    > Headcheese (the name reminds me of something else disgusting)
    > 
    > Blood Tounge (I don't want to eat any think that can taste me back)
    > 
    > Pickled Pigs Feet (looks like rotting flesh in a jar) **
    
    So it's a Klingon Deli that you work in?

So @Kallessa (Kallessa) replied

    Oh, SandyHook beat me to the oysters–vile, vile things, even when you're drunk they're terrible!
    
    I'm none to fond of cottage cheese or yoghurt–icky, icky, icky! Cottage chesse has both a slimey and chunky consistancy which just gives my tongue the heeby-jeebies. And yoghurt, it has the undertaste of spoilage, that lurking sourness–not the clean sourness of a lemon, but the tongue-coating sourness of old milk. Yuk!
    
    My tongue is quite the connoisseur, food must pass the taste, texture and all-around yumminess test, or it's just right out.

Then @LVgeogeek (LVgeogeek) said

    Most of the foodstuffs that I think are truely nasty have already been posted except for canned alligator meat, pig uterus and some other weird unidentifiable stuff (there is no endlish on the packages) I have seen on the shelves in the oriental market I shop at occasionally for stir fry and dim sum supplies.

Then @Caught_Work (Caught@Work) said

    > *Originally posted by Desmostylus *  
    >  **No, it's a fruit. **
    
    MWHAHAHAHAH !
    
    From the same source towards the end of the page:
    
    > used for cooking and for feeding stock;
    
    I rest my case.

@Larry_Mudd (Larry Mudd) replied

    I used to have a jar of “Sweet Gelatinous Mutant Coconut”, but I gave it to an unnamed popular writer 'cuz he thought it was cool. No idea what it tasted like. I imagine it tasted better than it sounded-- after all, I'm a big fan of the “Dried Black Fungus” which comes via the same import company.

So @TVeblen (TVeblen) replied

    Sorry to do this folk, even to prove a point. Stand back now. Don your gas masks. Merely reading the word can induce dry heaves…
    
    **Lutefisk**.
    
    Dried cod, soaked in water and then lye, then rinsed and boiled forever. For the fortunately uninitiated, think of _hot fish jello_. It's semi-translucent, rubbery and it **reeks** , omigod, but it reeks. I mean it pours out a roiling cloud of rotted fish stench.
    
    Of course it helps bunches that it's served with some of the boiling water and topped with melted butter.
    
    Ulp.
    
    Veb

So @Sylkyn (Sylkyn) replied

    > *Originally posted by Annie-Xmas *  
    >  **Whoever decided blueberries are edible was a sick person. NOTHING that color is edible.
    > 
    > And Jello. The texture alone should be a clue that it is not food. **
    
    [sub]Haven't even finished reading this thread when I saw this![/sub]
    
    There you are! My long lost twin! I honestly believed I was the only person alive that hated both those foods (and I use that term loosely.)
    
    I shiver at the thought of eating Jello…(yark!)
    
    I have several more that can add to this list, though:
    
    Mushrooms. (No, not the happy ones…the unhappy ones.) I know I've stated this somewhere before, but the texture just about kills me. I feel like I've sunk my teeth into human flesh if I make the mistake of biting into one. [sub][sup]Shuddered while thinking about it.[/sub][/sup]
    
    Olives. See above. Green flesh with a red bellybutton.
    
    Feta cheese. Ohjesusthatshitis _gross_! Eating chewy, sour, rancid plugs of earwax just isn't gonna do anything for me. Except make me hurl my sinus cavities up.
    
    Instant pudding. Actually, I can amend that to anything “instant”, but instant pudding is slimy and tasteless. It makes my throat slam shut. Makes me think of vaguely sugared snot.
    
    I know I have a few more, but this list will have to suffice until I can find a bottle of Pepto.

@RedFury (RedFury) replied

    Escargots. Hidden behind the fancy name is just a slimy snail with antennae that leaves a trail of goo as it slithers along. Read that _twice_ and then eat the dang things! I was once forced to try one by a persistent friend in a public eatery* – and I have never fully recovered from the experience.
    
    Used to blast the heck out of them with my Crossman rifle as a kid. Too bad I didn't finish the job.
    
    *Had it not been public, I would have used one of my son's best lines to date when trying to feed him something new: “If it's so good, _you_ eat it, Daddy.”

So @Sylkyn (Sylkyn) replied

    **RedFury** , my uncle used to call escargot “buttered dirt”. Aptly so, I might add.
    
    Funny thing is, he grew to actually like the nasty things! I guess you have to acquire a taste for butter and dirt as a main course. Maybe he used glass shards instead of salt to hide the taste. If not, he should have.

@Mighty_Girl (Mighty_Girl) replied

    Veb beat me to one of my choices.
    
    NEXT!
    
    tripes
    
    :eek:

@racer72 (racer72) replied

    For those that like to hunt, imagine a 5 day hunting trip to the western slopes of the Washington Cascade Mountains. A chef has been brought in to supply the meals. It is early afternoon of the first day and everyone has just finished a lunch of fresh ground buffalo burgers, pan fried chive potatoes and hard ice cream milk shakes. Some of the guys are scouting out some nearby areas. Others are getting their gear ready for an early start the next morning. My cousin wanders across the road looking for a place to take a leak and stumbles across a young spike 100 feet from camp. Crack… First person in camp to get a deer and he wins the $700 put up for getting a deer first. But I digress. The deer is immediatly brought back to camp and hung by it's back legs from a tree branch. My cousin cuts open the deer, removes the heart…
    
    and took a big bite of it. A couple others tried some. He called fresh kill deer heart a delicacy. I almost got sick. It happened a couple more times in the next few days.
    
    And kimchi. I had a neighbor that made it. I thought someone built a sewage treatment plant next door every time she made it.

Then @penny_dreadful (penny dreadful) said

    Lots of horrible “cheese” products have been mentioned already. But the most noxious, in my book, is that stuff that comes in an aeresol can. Bleh!
    
    And I know I'm probably going to catch hell for this one, but I can't stand cheesecake. It tastes bland and the texture is just… wrong somehow.

Then @OrthodoxAgnostic (OrthodoxAgnostic) said

    Oddly enough, every item listed in this thread that is Fat Free…I love…indeed I would starve to death if your wishes were granted. ha
    
    but to the point…  
    Any meat that is in a can.

After which, @Sublight (Sublight) added

    I must say, I love most of the non-processed things that have been mentioned here. In fact, my specialty in the kitchen is sauteed onions and mushrooms cooked with kimchee and served over rice.
    
    My candidate for non-food? Nankotsu. Literally translates as ‘soft bones'. I was at a barbecue restaurant with a then-girlfriend when the chef set down a plate with about a dozen of those little white cartillage pieces from the ends of chicken bones, all skewered on a stick. She was happily muching away on them, so I decided to give it a try. Nope, it was like chewing on a grilled eraser. It wasn't just a matter of not liking the flavor, I couldn't wrap my head around rational people thinking this was something edible.
    
    Btw, **OpalCat** and **cowgirl** : when you say “American cheese” do you mean the pale yellow cheese you get at the deli counter, or the orange processed stuff that comes individually-wrapped? The latter, I understand, but I think the mild flavor of the former makes it quite nice for sandwiches. Not that it's a big deal. Just more for me.

Then @Desmostylus (Desmostylus) said

    > *Originally posted by Caught@Work *  
    >  **MWHAHAHAHAH !
    > 
    > From the same source towards the end of the page:
    >
    >> used for cooking and for feeding stock;
    > 
    > I rest my case. **
    
    Gee, fish is also used to feed livestock. Fish must be a vegetable. Well waddayno.

Then @Evil_Captor (Evil Captor) said

    I'm surprised no one has mentioned boiled okra, the self-swallowing vegetable. There's a reason it's typically hidden in highly spiced gumbo.
    
    Pickled okras are OK, mind you, the process somehow removes the slime and the okra seeds have a nice firm texture.
    
    Fried okra has a weird taste that I don't like. But that could just be me. Boiled okra, that's humanity crying out in horror at what is on its tongue.

@matt_mcl (matt_mcl) replied

    Mushrooms. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
    
    Funny how mushroom fanatics lose interest when I call them “fungus” all the way through the conversation.

So @matt_mcl (matt_mcl) replied

    Oh, and American Coca-Cola is rank. I'm not that much of a fan of carbonated beverages, but damn if the Canadian version of the All-American Beverage doesn't beat the pants off the home-grown variety.

So @Caught_Work (Caught@Work) replied

    > *Originally posted by Desmostylus *  
    >  **I rest my case.  
    >  Gee, fish is also used to feed livestock. Fish must be a vegetable. Well waddayno. **
    
    Apologies.  
    I was actually referring the my dislike for eating pumpkin pie (which I inaccurately referred to as a vegetable (although I wouldn't eat it like I would eat a fruit pie)).  
    For the record I wouldn't eat a fish pie either even though it's not a vegetable, and likely not a fruit.  
    Nor would I look at a fish and pumpkin pie either.

So @Fenris (Fenris) replied

    > *Originally posted by Sublight *  
    >  **Btw, **OpalCat** and **cowgirl** : when you say “American cheese” do you mean the pale yellow cheese you get at the deli counter, or the orange processed stuff that comes individually-wrapped? The latter, I understand, but I think the mild flavor of the former makes it quite nice for sandwiches. Not that it's a big deal. Just more for me. **
    
    Probably the artificial cheeze-food-like product.
    
    However to forstall the inevitable debate about whether “real” American Cheese exists, I'm posting this
    
    Fenris

@jjimm (jjimm) replied

    When I was living in the US, I ordered some 5-year matured cheddar from Sugarbush Farm. Best cheddar I've ever had. Makes up for all the flavorless stuff in the supermarkets.

After which, @Desmostylus (Desmostylus) added

    Just kidding, **Caught@Work**. I guessed that was what you really meant.
    
    Fish pie can be pretty good. But, hey, not every one is going to agree. That's what this thread is all about.

So @RedFury (RedFury) replied

    > *Originally posted by SilkyThreat *  
    >  ** **RedFury** , my uncle used to call escargot “buttered dirt”. **
    
    Naw. Cut through the chase and call them what they _really_ are: disgusting piles of goo in garlic butter.
    
    Next on the agenda, more pond food: frog legs. I'll stick with chicken, thank you very much.

After which, @Mangetout (Mangetout) added

    C'mon people; this thread was supposed to be about things that have been processed beyond all recognition or are otherwise unfit to be called ‘food':
    
    Aerosol cheese - yes
    
    'EEEEeeew, bread! how can you eat bread?1?" - no.

After which, @Airman_Doors_USAF (Airman Doors, USAF) added

    > *Originally posted by Gary Kumquat *  
    >  **Pitting is too good for the philistine. **
    
    Pit me. I'm convinced Vegemite was created as an instrument of torture.
    
    My proof? Everybody who eats it ends up talking funny.

So @Mangetout (Mangetout) replied

    Actually, didn't Marmite/Vegemite arise as the result of a waste disposal problem in the brewing industry? (or am I repeating an Urban Myth?)

@Desmostylus (Desmostylus) replied

    > Some of the yeast extract used in British Marmite comes from Bass's brewery in Burton-on-Trent, and the rest is from various other breweries in the area. (The breweries pay Marmite to remove the yeast from their factories.) The main Marmite factory is about two miles away from the Bass brewery. Burton-on-Trent has been the home of Marmite since the patent was first acquired in 1902.  
    >  A chemist speculates that Marmite is made by adding salt to the waste-product produced by the yeast in the brewing process, thus rupturing the yeast cells by osmotic pressure—and then concentrating the resulting sludge.
    
    Not authoritative, but I've never heard any different.

@Evil_Captor (Evil Captor) replied

    Would canned asparagus count? My own mother used to serve that stuff. I've forgiven her for that, but it wasn't easy. I mean, the asparagus had pretty much the same consistency as the water it was in. I would call that over-processed.
    
    And what about those flavored instant coffee mixes that don't taste quite like … anything?

To which @Evil_Captor (Evil Captor) replied

    Which reminds me …
    
    Sanka.
    
    Ack! Ptui! Aargh!

After which, @kambuckta (kambuckta) added

    As far as unprocessed foodstuffs go, then radishes would have to be the most pointless, followed by artichokes and celery.
    
    Processed? Try opening a jar of Thai/Vietnamese shrimp-paste, but make sure you have all the windows open and the kitchen fan on when you do. Absolutely vomitable.
    
    Oh, and **Airman Doors USAF**? Any more wise-cracks about our beloved Vegemite, or daring to compare it to Marmite will result in you being forcefed toast with a 2" layer of the black-stuff until your eyes bulge out and you too start talking funny.

Then @Achernar (Achernar) said

    All chocolate. But especially Nutella. Gooey, sticky, dark brown. Ugh.

To which @Airman_Doors_USAF (Airman Doors, USAF) replied

    Vegemite? You guys pay for that stuff?
    
    Hell, I get it for free. Every time I change my son's diaper. Voila! All the Vegemite I can handle.

After which, @big_alex (big alex) added

    MacDonald's, Burger King food, and pot noodle.  
    Three things I can't believe anybody eats for fun!

Then @Marlitharn (Marlitharn) said

    Mutton. Strings of rancid dental floss soaked in bbq sauce. Nasty stuff. Besides, my parents raised sheep; all I can think of when I see a plate of mutton is a sheep's snotty nose.
    
    Someone mentioned frog's legs earlier. I've never tasted them, but I was traumatized by frog's legs as a child. We were camping, see, and the grown-ups had gone gigging and brought back a large sack of nice big bullfrogs. They cut off the legs, breaded them, and started dumping them by the handful into the hot oil.
    
    All the frog legs promptly began jumping around the pan, some of them even leaping out onto the ground, causing me to scream like a little girl (which I was at the time), because even at the tender age of 6 or 7 I knew that food is not supposed to resist being cooked. I'm not sure what caused this non-food-like behavior; I think they forgot to sever a crucial tendon or something before they tried to cook the legs. So no frog's legs for me. It's not sporting to eat something that's still trying to get away.
    
    And all you people dissing the Miracle Whip need to lay off. Don't you know a sandwich isn't a sandwich without the tangy zip…
    
    Ow! Who threw that?

@Rubystreak (Rubystreak) replied

    I like most foods, honestly. I don't eat any animal products anymore, which protects me from some of the more egregiously evil things folks have mentioned. However, my Italian relatives had MANY vile foodstuffs:
    
    Bacala-- this is salted codfish that smelled like dead, rotting feet.
    
    Escarole and beans–the poor beans.
    
    Lamb's brains. Why?!?!? What could a poor little lamb do to deserve such a fate?
    
    Cocozze–zucchini cooked all to hell in a thin red sauce. My dad would ask my mom who she was mad at when she made it.
    
    They also had this bread they would eat with the above that was so hard and crumbly and tasteless I could never understand how it qualified as monica26@example.org.

So @Caught_Work (Caught@Work) replied

    **Rubystreak** it's not like they only took the brains from your poor little lambikins.  
    They killed it first and then took it's brains out.  
    Actually they're quite tasty, in breadcrumbs and fried.  
    Except you should remove the membrane over the brain, because that's kinda nasty.

To which @jnglmassiv (jnglmassiv) replied

    Not a foodstuff, I know, but the thought of that artificial “watermelon” flavor sends me running to the porcelain.
    
    Like those Jolly Ranchers or those giant hunks of dayglow pink sugar gum…
    
    _feels burble below_

To which @cowgirl (cowgirl) replied

    **Sublight** : American Cheese, and I followed **Fenris** 's link to confirm it, is those slices wrapped in plastic that don't lose their shape when melted. When melted, they stick to your mouth and taste like edible oil product. If you don't have it in Japan, you should not feel left out. I'll never forget that famous Simpsons scene:
    
    Setting: midnight, in the kitchen  
    Homer takes something out of the fridge.  
    Homer: Mmmmm … sixty-four slices of American cheese … sixty-three … sixty-two … sixty-one …  
    [time passes, morning comes]  
    Homer: … two … one … zero ! [passes out on the table]
    
    … and so on. Ugh. The thought of that much cheese product in one stomach sickens me beyond words. Although, at least it's spelled ‘cheese' - unlike ‘cheez whiz' and so on.
    
    Another veiled dig at British cuisine: they sell something called ‘Breakfast Baked Beans', which is (as near as I can tell, my investigation ended on the grocery store shelves) baked beans with bits of breakfast meat (sausage, bacon?) mixed in. (I, and all the non-British people I have asked, picture baked beans with corn flakes, grapefruit, fried eggs etc mixed in. I don't know that that's less gross, actually …)
    
    I'd like to vote in favour of all of the non-animal-product-containing items on this list: marmite, vegimite, PB, KD, blueberries, pickled things, mushrooms, olives, pumpkin pie, kimchee … they're all alright by me ! (I don't know if american cheese actually has animal product in it … if not, it's the one exception !)
    
    Watermelon flavour: RED is definitely the best artificial flavour. I prefer ‘strawberry' or ‘cherry', but if my red candy tastes vaguely like watermelon, that's fine by me too. It all pretty much tastes Red to me.
    
    I've been told that in Africa you can get Elephant Jerky … i would suspend my vegetarian principles breifly enough to have a bite of it … just out of curiousity …


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