@Harmonious_Discord (Harmonious Discord) posted a new topic, subject "What evil words are yoiu teaching your nephew or niece?". It read:

   I have been working on teaching the baby to say Bla Bla Bla. She's been getting close, and is on the threshold. I await her saying it, when all the adults are babbling away. She already growls like a dog, because she had a dog toy, and somebody growled for the dog noise. Blame the parents for that one.

So @Lightray (Lightray) replied

    I've been teaching Nephew Number One all kinds of sesquipedalian words. Like, “sesquipedalian.” Cyclopean. Infinitesimal. He hasn't gotten the hang of “ennui”, yet; he's still “bored.” He's turning 5 soon, and its fun watching other adults, nonplussed because the 5-year-old is talking over their heads. 
    
    Nephew Number Two is turning 2 next week, and at least remembers “iridescent,” although he thinks it means “purple.” :smack:

So @Caricci (Caricci) replied

    When my older nephew was small, I loved to teach him evil poems, not just words. You know, Milk, milk, lemonade and the like. I took a lot of shit for Me Chinese, me make joke and Jesus Christ, Almighty, mouse ran up my nightie.
    
    I have no double standard though. I taught my son these works as well.

So @Sunrazor (Sunrazor) replied

    I'm the oldest of three brothers and was the first to have kids, so my three younger brothers all got to teach my boys the evil stuff. I'll never forget the first time my youngest son, at the age of three, proudly demonstrated to his mother how he checked his package. At first, all three uncles denied responsibility; now, 20 years later, they all claim credit.

Then @Cap_n_Obvious (Cap'n Obvious) said

    I'm not big on teaching my nieces evil words.
    
    Instead, I teach them to be little pains via body language. You know, rolling of the eyes, stomping of the foot, holding their breath, stuff like that.
    
    I figure it's a little pay back for when my sisters gave me grief when I used to baby sit them. Though I may start teaching my oldest niece to call her mom Ed Sprinkles the Floor Cooker. It's a nickname I used to torment her mom with when she was growing up.

So @Caricci (Caricci) replied

    As “bad auntie” to my own son, I've taught him the proper name for his scrotum is “sack” or more properly, “nut sack” and most recently have explained to him what “bat wings” are. If my husband won't, hey, I gotta.

Then @MissMossie (MissMossie) said

    Caricci:
    
    > As “bad auntie” to my own son, I've taught him the proper name for his scrotum is “sack” or more properly, “nut sack” and most recently have explained to him what “bat wings” are. If my husband won't, hey, I gotta.
    
    Will you explain to me what “bat wings” are?

So @Caricci (Caricci) replied

    MissMossie:
    
    > Will you explain to me what “bat wings” are?
    
    Yes, yes I will. It's when one's sweaty nutsack sticks to one's upper thighs reminding one of the wings of a bat.

After which, @Dung_Beetle (Dung Beetle) added

    Caricci:
    
    > When my older nephew was small, I loved to teach him evil poems, not just words. You know, Milk, milk, lemonade and the like. I took a lot of shit for Me Chinese, me make joke and Jesus Christ, Almighty, mouse ran up my nightie.
    > 
    > I have no double standard though. I taught my son these works as well.
    
    I taught my kids those too! And in return, they taught me one more line to Milk milk lemonade which I hadn't known: Stick your finger in the hole…Hey look! You got a Tootsie Roll!
    
    Actually I don't know the mouse up the nightie one. Is there any more to it?

@Nava (Nava) replied

    Oh, I'm not bothering with evil words (The Nephew isn't too verbal yet) but I'm teaching him Evil Skills. He's got my family's spatial perception and fine motor coordination (I still think that SiL also has good spatial perception, she's just been taught that she doesn't); he remembers places he's visited only once.
    
    He'd been only once at Mom's: when he visited for the second time, it was with his other grandma (first time she was there); Mom said “bring Grandma to the terrace,” and there he went! And when he wanted the bathroom, he knew where it was too. He'll be 2yo in October.
    
    I play puzzle-style games with him; I'm planning on teaching him dominoes as soon as he turns 3yo (because that's the age the boxes say and SiL would freak out if I do something at a Not Legally Approved age).

After which, @Tikki (Tikki) added

    Evil words? I'm still trying to get my two nieces to say “please” and “thank you.” They're plenty old enough to know and say these words but with with them, nada. However, they understand “I want” perfectly and use the phrase with great abandon. They also have no comprehension that that multitude of stuff they've strewn all over the floor is called a “mess,” much less understand the concept of cleaning it up themselves.
    
    When do you guys find time to teach your siblings' offspring evil words?

To which @Caricci (Caricci) replied

    Tikki:
    
    > When do you guys find time to teach your siblings' offspring evil words?
    > 
    > (By the way, can you tell I'm not their favorite aunt? :rolleyes: )
    
    Yeah, I sure can ! Meanwhile, the great thing about nieces and nephews is, it's not up to us to teach them please and thank you - they're just for fun! Are you raising yours or babysitting them full time or something?
    
    Yes, I did say I also teach my own son these things also.

After which, @Harmonious_Discord (Harmonious Discord) added

    They end up here a lot. The parents haven't learned the concept of you had them, now take them with you.

After which, @Hazle_Weatherfield (Hazle Weatherfield) added

    I heard that, if you accidentally swear around a little one (happens, you know!) you should try to immediately follow the bad word with “peanut butter” (the logic apparently being that a little kid couldn't mimic such a long and strange-sounding word. I can't wait to hear my niece say “asspeanutbutter, damnpeanutbutter, etc.” I'm thinking this doesn't work, but I'm loving the possibility of what could result!

So @guppy (guppy) replied

    I taught my niece a really annoying song (for the life of me I can't remember what it was now) once while babysitting and for the entire hour and a half ride back to Madison she sang it non-stop to my brother and sister-in-law.
    
    I should do that again.

Then @zelie_zelerton (zelie zelerton) said

    Tikki:
    
    > Evil words? I'm still trying to get my two nieces to say “please” and “thank you.” They're plenty old enough to know and say these words but with with them, nada. However, they understand “I want” perfectly and use the phrase with great abandon. They also have no comprehension that that multitude of stuff they've strewn all over the floor is called a “mess,” much less understand the concept of cleaning it up themselves.
    > 
    > When do you guys find time to teach your siblings' offspring evil words?
    
    Well you know these grown ups are terribly dumb. Whenever I say “I want juice/candy/toy” Auntie Tikki just says "You know, if you want something you can say ‘I want juice please' and after that she just doesn't do as I tell her! Heck Auntie Tikki is so dumb she doesn't seem to understand what I want unless I say please. She gets that I want something but she can't remember the thing I want. I say “I want juice” and she brings me a newspaper or a doglead or a clothespeg. Darn Auntie Tikki - I just have to keep on saying please to focus her attention on the thing that I really want.
    
    And let's not get started on the whole not remembering to let go until I say thankyou. Oy vey that Auntie Tikki!!!

Then @vetbridge (vetbridge) said

    My eldest nephew is 21 or 22 now. When he was a little tyke, his vocabulary/pronunciation was behind schedule. I had him for the day, and at some point he walked over to the cat's litter box. I chased him away, saying, “there's shit in there”.
    
    My sister picked him up later and stopped at the store for milk. Out of the blue he said, loud and clear, “shit. . .shit. . .shit”. This kid, who previously struggled with mama and dada, now was shouting, “shit” over and over.
    
    My sister was pissed.

So @Tuckerfan (Tuckerfan) replied

    My nephew was about 13 when I got to spend some quality time with him, so I couldn't teach him anything he didn't already know, wordwise, but I _did_ tell him a number of things about his father that he didn't know. 
    
    For Christmas last year (he was 16), I gave him a 2 gig thumbdrive filled with pr0n.  Yeah, I'm the __uncle.

To which @Airblairxxx (Airblairxxx) replied

    I wanted to teach my 7-year-old nephew, who just visited us, the phrase “Daddy, I want bagpipes!” But he wouldn't fall for it.
    
    By way of explanation, my brother bought my son a drum set for Christmas.

After which, @Lightray (Lightray) added

    Tikki:
    
    > When do you guys find time to teach your siblings' offspring evil words?
    
    While I'm getting him to clean up his mess, without thinking that he's cleaning up his mess, actually.
    
    See, Number One Nephew will. _not_. clean up, because _he's playing with that_. No matter that it's been sitting on the floor, or that it's actually the dog's chewtoy. However. If _I_ start putting things away, and I put them away _wrong_ , then _he_ has to correct me and show me the right way to do it.
    
    So, all the barnyard animals into the Thomas the Train boxes, and the trains into the building block bin, and the building blocks into the farmhouse… in short order, their playroom is clean, and his parents are as mystified as if aliens had landed and done the housework for them.
    
    … And I've had time to work Today's Word into the conversation with Number One Nephew enough times for him to start parroting it back to mom and dad.

To which @Shai_tan (Shai'tan) replied

    Dung Beetle:
    
    > I taught my kids those too! And in return, they taught me one more line to Milk milk lemonade which I hadn't known: Stick your finger in the hole…Hey look! You got a Tootsie Roll!
    
    My wife had another line:
    
    Stick your finger way to far, you will get a Hershey Bar!?

So @Kat (Kat) replied

    Well, when my nephew Lizardboy was 2 or 3 (he's 5 now), he would repeat anything. He walked around for hours once repeating “Hollow leg, hollow leg” after my mother asked him if he had one. So, naturally, we taught him to say “Want some bourbon?” Now, for some reason, he won't repeat anything we tell him to.
    
    On the other hand, his little brother Frogboy (now 3), won't usually repeat other people's words, but he will make up his own stuff. For a long time, ever since Lizardboy got the “I wants”, I've been responding to the “I want” sentence with “Well, I want a million dollars.” And spontaneously one day, Frogboy added “And I want tickets.” (What kind of tickets? He has no idea.). And so for a long time, it would go like this:  
    Lizardboy: I want _____.  
    Me (or another aunt): Well, I want a million dollar.  
    Frogboy: And I want tickets!  
    If Frogboy was unavailable, another adult would often add “And <Frogboy's real name> wants tickets!”
    
    Just before Christmas, Frogboy kept quiet during his part, so someone else spoke up with the above line, and Frogboy objected with “No, I want dollars, too!” He was asked, “A million of 'em?” and replied, “No, just two.” So, he got 2 dollars from one of my sisters in with his Christmas presents.
    
    I told you that story, to tell you this one:  
    Last week, at my sister's house, Frogboy declared out of the blue “I want a million dollars.” And my sister looked at me and said “I wonder who taught him that.” So I said, “Hey, go tell your Daddy that.” 
    
    In the meantime, my sister-in-law called yesterday and mentioned that my 4-year-old niece Butterfly had said “Shit” and that she'd better never find out who taught her daughter that. I looked at my sister and said “Hey, I may have taught Frogboy to say he wants a million dollars, but I didn't teach Butterfly shit!”

@Paul_in_Qatar (Paul in Qatar) replied

    I tell my niece “Math's hard, Let's go shopping!” Does that count?

To which @Tikki (Tikki) replied

    OK, I'll consider myself chastised for being an old grump.
    
    Though I am the one that taught my nieces how to sing such classics as Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts, The Addams Family Song and Jingle Bells, Batman Smells.

After which, @CairoCarol (CairoCarol) added

    Recently, a large quantity of in-laws visited. At one point, my 13-year-old nephew was in our car, with me, my husband, and my 9-year-old son.
    
    I happened to say at one point “hah, there is no way in hell that such-and-such is going to happen.”
    
    Suddenly (and bizarrely, in my world view) the 13-year-old boy exclaimed “Aunt Carol! You said a BAD word!!!”
    
    I regret to report there was not a touch of irony in his voice.
    
    So I cheerfully said “Yup, I did! And I don't regret it! I guess I'm the Bad Aunt.”
    
    There were two consequences:
    
      1. A day or two later, in the presence of the entire extended family that was visiting, my nephew felt compelled to remind me that I had said A Bad Word.
    
      2. He never rode in the car with us again, preferring to retreat to the safe, if not exactly mind-stretching, company of his own devout, conservative family.
    
    
    
    
    I do not repent of my sin.
    
    What kind of a 13-year-old American boy gets prissy about hearing the word “hell”?

@Boozahol_Squid_P.I (Boozahol Squid, P.I.) replied

    Not my nephew, but a close friend of mine from childhood had a kid. He's only fourteen months old, and knows how to throw up the horns and say ‘metal!'.
    
    The kid's mom and I still argue whether ‘metal' or ‘mama' was his first word.

Then @Harmonious_Discord (Harmonious Discord) said

    If Tikki considers saying Please a bad word, then that's her choice.


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