@Sitnam (Sitnam) posted a new topic, subject "31 jokes for nerds". It read:

   I spit coffee all over my keyboard this morning because of a few of these.

So @needscoffee (needscoffee) replied

    I like the one about Spock's ears.

@needscoffee (needscoffee) replied

    And the one about how many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb.

So @Shagnasty (Shagnasty) replied

    Pretty funny. The guy's delivery was good. I was imagining him at a nerd party with the crowd in stitches.

@An_Gadai (An Gadaí) replied

    Nerds have parties? Can I get an e-vite?

Then @norinew (norinew) said

    An_Gadai:
    
    > Nerds have parties? Can I get an e-vite?
    
    'Round here, we call 'em Dope Fests. 
    
    Some pretty funny stuff there.

To which @LionelHutz405 (LionelHutz405) replied

    norinew:
    
    > 'Round here, we call 'em Dope Fests. 
    
    Ha!  
    Make that 32.

So @Azeotrope (Azeotrope) replied

    Shouldn't there be 42 jokes for nerds?

@Cort (Cort) replied

    And the barman says “Sorry. We don't serve your kind in here!”
    
    Tachyon walks into a bar.

To which @Czarcasm (TIME Magazine's 2006 Person Of The Year) replied

    Moving thread from IMHO to MPSIMS.

After which, @Suburban_Plankton (Suburban Plankton) added

    I found these much more entertaining that I thought I was going to. My favorites were 30/31.

After which, @Johnny_L.A (Johnny L.A.) added

    Two of my faves that I tell IRL:
    
    René Descartes was in a tavern near closing time. The bartender said, ‘Mr. Descartes, would you like one for the road?' Descartes says, ‘I think not…' and suddenly vanishes!
    
    Werner Heisenberg and Erwin Schrödinger were driving along when they were pulled over for speeding. The cop says, ‘Do you know how fast you were going?' Heisenberg says, ‘No, but I can definitely tell you where I was.' The cop decides to search the car and finds a dead cat in the trunk. He says, ‘Do you know there's a dead cat in the trunk?' Schrödinger says, ‘I do _now!_ '

Then @FlightlessBird (FlightlessBird) said

    “The majority of people have an above average number of legs.”  
    Not funny haha, but funny hmmm.

@Rigamarole (Rigamarole) replied

    Ugh. Those jokes would have been a lot funnier if his delivery style wasn't so over-the-top-and-trying-too-hard.

So @Roderick_Femm (Roderick Femm) replied

    The joke about engineers and the glass half full/half empty I first heard from Tom Lehrer, maybe 45 years ago. Not sure if he made it up.
    
    Anyway, I did snicker out loud at least three times.  
    Roddy

So @Drunky_Smurf (Drunky Smurf) replied

    I've heard most of those before but one of the ones I didn't and thought was funny was the Higgs-Boson particle going to church.

After which, @Suburban_Plankton (Suburban Plankton) added

    Rigamarole:
    
    > Ugh. Those jokes would have been a lot funnier if his delivery style wasn't so over-the-top-and-trying-too-hard.
    
    I thought the delivery was perfect in its ‘over-the-top'-ness…

Then @Rigamarole (Rigamarole) said

    Suburban_Plankton:
    
    > I thought the delivery was perfect in its ‘over-the-top'-ness…
    
    Perfectly annoying as fuck, perhaps. Dude needs to pop a couple Xanax. I couldn't enjoy the jokes because he was so distracting.

@Bosstone (Bosstone) replied

    It sounds like he's copying the dude from Ask A Ninja mannerism for mannerism.

So @Anticounterrevolutionary (Anticounterrevolutionary) replied

    A proton walks into a bar and orders a 6 shots of Tequila.  
    Bartender says, “You sure about that?”  
    Proton says, “Yeah, I'm positive.”
    
    Neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?”  
    Bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
    
    _rimshot_

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