@Lilacs (Lilacs) posted a new topic, subject "When toilets Attack (TMI?)". It read:

   So I'm at work, and walk innocently into the little one-person bathroom we have for our front office. It's friday, we've had a fun barbeque/ice cream social for our staff and our clients. I am totally unsuspecting at the horror which is about to take me.
    
    Now I realize that being a toilet must be horrible. The worst sort of people get reincarnated as toilets, I think, as they exist only to receive bodily waste. Our toilet must be very resentful at being used after 4:00pm, because it rebelled when I was finished with it.  
    I'm standing there, about to soap up my hands, thinking of the upcoming evening…and a squirt of water hits my face!
    
    From the toilet. My face!
    
    EWW. ACK! BLEAGH!
    
    That's it. I'm at war with the crapper.
    
    Thank God my mouth wasn't open.

After which, @Sionach (Sionach) added

    This is why I put the lid down (when possible) before flushing. All toilets should have lids on 'em for just that very reason!
    
    Hope they have nice hot water and sudsy soap at your office, Lilacs!

To which @3waygeek (3waygeek) replied

    One of my toilets tried to kill me earlier this week. Between the two of us, I think we could do a Dave Barry column

So @Lilacs (Lilacs) replied

    Unfortunately, our toilet has no lids.
    
    **3waygeek** , sounds like the toilets are in rebellion.
    
    Be afraid.

Then @Pixiesnix (Pixiesnix) said

    Note to self: Buy a bucket.

@Sqube (Sqube) replied

    Oh. Sweet. Og. This is the beginning of the end. That is in the lost verses of the book of Revelations.
    
    > Then the LORD showed to me a mighty spray of water from the depths of hell. And a great moaning and a gnashing of teeth rose up from the tribes of **Lilacs** , **3waygeek** , and all those afflicted by Lucifer's curse.
    
    Or words to that effect.

To which @it_sjustme (it'sjustme) replied

    Sounds like maybe the person who'd used the toilet before you might have recently used, and enjoyed, a bidet and had taunted the poor little toilet at your office about the superiority of bathrooms that have bidets available. So your little toilet decided to seek retaliation on the next unsuspecting user by becoming the _BIDET FROM HELL_
    
    Just a theory…

After which, @KellyM (KellyM) added

    I half-expected this to be a thread about **ChiefScott** 's moment of naval infamy.

@Lilacs (Lilacs) replied

    Wow. Note to self: Do not ever stand again on a toilet lid.

So @Tinkertoy (Tinkertoy) replied

    my mother's toilet blew up.
    
    She put some chemicals in that are supposed to kill roots growing into the pipes. Then after flushing only once she put bleach in bowl to clean it, shut the lid and left the room. About 4 minutes later we hear a large bang from the bathroom.We rush in to see pieces of toilet all over the bathroom.
    
    I just told you about that so that if your toilets continue to attack, you will know how to defend yourself.


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