 for night scenes lit, and at a uniform consistancy also.
Most movie women wear thigh-high stockings rather than pantyhose. The women who DO wear pantyhose never have the seam-lines imprinted into their abdomens or elastic waistband marks around their waistlines when they remove their pantyhose to have sex!
Sun Aug 25 20:18:04 1996 Dave D.
DUNGEONS & DRAGONS (as seen in the television movies MAZES & MONSTERS, HONOR THY MOTHER or CRUEL DOUBT; however, it was given a positive scene in E.T.): Whenever teen-agers get involved in the Dungeons & Dragons fantasy-fiction role-playing game, the game (in the movies) supposedly influences teens to go crazy or commit murders. In MAZES & MONSTERS (1982), the game is not named. In both HONOR THY MOTHER and CRUEL DOUBT (aired on television in 1992), the game is specifically named but either the cover, quotations or artwork in the game have to be faked. There has never been a case before of a television network falsifying a best-selling book on television. The fans are getting pretty tired of it.
Bodily Functions: Vomiting. Vomiting is accompanied by excessive coughing and, for lack of a better word, groaning, even though gagging is a relatively quiet process.
In nine out of ten hospital scenes, the PA system will announce: "Paging Dr. Seidelman," in a soft woman's voice.
Problem with a weapons cliche. Someone said that no movie character ever refers to the saftey on a weapon. I'd like to point out a part close to the ending of Die Hard 3 where one of our heros is shot because he couldn't fire first due to the saftey being on.
Aliens only ever seem to invade the U.S.A., leaving the rest of the world to go about its buisiness.
BOMBS -- The simple act of disarming a bomb by clipping a wire is sufficient to cause immediate trembling of the hands and profuse sweating, sometimes combined with sudden irritability.
In a footchase collision bystanders are always knocked flying by the fleeing villian. The comparitive sizes of the two are irrelelavant. The villian will never be entangled with those they collide with.
In Westerns Indians very rarely will hit their opponents with gunfire, even if the majority are using firearms. Virtually all casualties will be inlficted by arrows, thrown lances, or even hurled tommahawks rather than bullets. 3d movies decrease Indian marksmanship even further.
More information magically appears to video footage or photographs when they are magnified. A blurred piece of "something" will become a sharp picture of the villain's (or whoever's) face (resulting from a magical increase of resolution of the film/tape) when it is magnified enough.
Computers: However advanced the operating system, all commands require extensive typing on the keyboard. A mouse is unheard of in Movieland.
Under the category of Nightmares-- Despite the fact that it is proven that humans are paralyzed during REM (dream) sleep--which is why we don't fly out of our bed when we go running in our dreams--all movie characters shown having dreams (especially erotic or frightening ones) react physically to the content of their dream, esp. tossing and turning.
Why is it that aliens always look like something that crawled out of dog's backside yet they are always able to confer profound wisdom upon the human race.
ID4 Pentagon programmers are so experienced that they can in less than 12 hours program a virus which is aimed at an alien computer system millions years advanced than Earth. That would be like someone with an ABACUS would be able to hack into the Pentagon computer systems and also eventually be able to halt the system completely. Computers The Internet in movieland is a very userfriendly place with lots of graphic and real time 3D animations. Movieland modems are also about 10 times faster than a T1 line.
HOUSES: When something bad has happened to the tenant, the door of the house/apartment is strangely unlocked.
Bars: patrons never pay because a fight inevitablly breaks out or there is someone saying "Drinks are on me/the house!"(Does that ever happen to you?) Driving: drivers don't look at the road as much as the keeping eye contact with their passenger. Monsters/killers: Despite some sort of walking impediment, always ends up in front of the pursued, especially as they look back for them.
Bombs: any electronic timing device will count down the time to detonation using a huge red LED display which makes loud 'beep' noises as each second passes, even if the bomb has been planted with concealment in mind. The 'beep' rule also applies to any digital countdown, be it watches, microwave ovens, scoreboards, etc.
for the villains list: All villains have a hierarchy structure in which the lowest members will die first and quickly. The higher ranking villains die later and usually a more graphic death. The leader of the group will always die last in some very painful and gruesome manner.
'The smarter you are...The worse the world looks.
The FA-18 Will Smith flys in ID4 is as highly manouverable as the alien ship persuing him.
Why is it that in all those action movies, when a person's gun runs out of bullets - they throw it away! pointless really!
When a driver arrives at his or her destination in any major city, there is always a convenient and available parking space right in front of the building to be entered.

When people who are being resucitated by paramedics die the medical personell only works on them for about 30 seconds before they are pronounced dead instead of the hours they sometimes work on people before giving up.
When people are strangled it takes only a few seconds too die instead of a couple of minutes it takes for the brain to die of oxygen depravation.
Computer security systems are always represented as detailed 3D graphics of rooms and doors which the hacker moves through like they were playing Doom. Said Hacker negotiates this virtual world by typing rapidly on the keyboard like they were entering a document in a word-processor, even though no text is seen entered on the screen.
Identical twins will almost always wear the same clothes, have the same hairstyle, and will talk in perfect unison.
When women with a job first encounter the hero they are usually uptight. The symbol of this is the fact that they have their hair in a bun (or something similar). Usually they also wear glasses. When they undo their hair and take off their glasses this always signals they are about to kiss (and make love to) the hero. After that, they usually give up the old hairstyle. And they don't need glasses any longer.
Women in movies all wear Merry Widows or garter belts. Pantyhose have not yet been invented in Hollywood.
All action heroes were born with some sort of mutated eye membrane which allows them to ride motorcycles at 95mph without any eye protection and yet never have to worry about not being able to see or getting a bug in their eye.
In the category "Fencing/Swordplay", one EXTREMELY IMPORTANT scene is missing: -Towards the end of the fight, the hero usually falls to the ground with his sword in his hand. The villain, triumphantly and extremely slow, will raise his sword with two hands, thereby exposing his belly. As villain moves forward for the fatal blow, the hero rams his sword into aforesaid place. This, of course, terminates the fight. And two favourite clich�s for the new category "horror movies": -Whenever wife wakes up in strange house at night to the sound of something that frightens her and tries to wake her husband, he will grunt, turn around and doze off again. The wife will then take a candle and walk out alone into the darkness. -"Darling, while you go to the attic and see what made the noise, I will go down to the basement to check why the lights have gone out."
In sci-fi or space movies, the hero will always have faster-than-light-speed reflexes which enable him or her to deftfully dodge blasts from enemy laser guns.
When hero is being attacked by two villains with swords, he always manages to duck at just the right time allowing the two villains to thrust their swords into each other, killing both. When hero and miss love-interest are running away from villain/monster, miss love-interest will trip and hurt her ankle.
Bombs: Hero always almost cuts the wrong wire, before cutting the correct one -- then comes the sigh of relief. The exception, I think if I remember correctly, is Lethal Weapon 1 where they poked fun at this. Mel chose one wire, then went to the other, only to clip the wrong one!
hero/sidekick or way women are portrayed: At the climax of the movie, the hero always starts off on his own or says "You stay here." Sidekick/woman always argues with hero. Hero goes off on his own. Sidekick/woman waits 5 seconds that goes off, too. Sidekick/woman gets in trouble and hero saves him/her or sidekick/woman saves hero's life.
In space,even though it contradicts the laws of physics