/simulate Barça 
initializing FC Barcelona simulation module ...
loading catalog: players, stadium, history, rivalries
establishing parameters: tiki-taka = TRUE, mes que un club = TRUE
simulation ready.

barça@camp-nou:~/simulation$ status --current
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FC BARCELONA STATUS REPORT
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manager: xavi hernández [recently replaced]
league position: chasing real madrid as usual
champions league: eliminated too early again
financial situation: [REDACTED - too painful]
mood: nostalgic for messi era
current identity crisis: moderate to severe

would you like to access specific barça functions?
- view_squad
- simulate_match
- transfer_market
- relive_glory_days
- cry_about_finances