67c5ab35_Female_Sexuality___2005_Topics__Post_Text
[Topic ID] 159 [Post ID] 806 [Date & Time] 2005-11-13 13:02:11 [Post Text] 
Hello, On being Ugly - only YOU can feel one way or the other about that. If you feel ugly on the inside, you will radiate this for others. If you feel something good about yourself, it will show in your smile, in the way you present yourself and the way you are. I understand completely about that side of emotional torment. I battled with it for years until I finally let go and freed myself from the chains that bound me. No one no matter how well intended or heartfelt can tell you how beautiful you are and expect you to believe them especially if this has been ongoing most of your life and you have felt and believed yourself to be ugly. I wish you well for your next appointment. I hope this place you are going to is the right place for you. Here in the UK things are very limited with unchartered territory in the medical profession. So I am sure you have waited and waited on a list before being seen at all. So congratulations for actually making it through two appointments and now anticipating your third. With the subconscious mind, you may very well have seen something which scared the absolute crap out of you when you were little and then your mind has erased it from the main part of your brain so that you can get on with your life. It is a possibility. Even if you were a baby or too young to understand that what you saw was overwhelming, at some point in your life something has caused you to physically clam up so now you are at the beginning of a long journey unravelling yourself again to get back to the source of what ever it was that started this all off for you. May I be so humble and to suggest you keep a journal about yoru appointments, how you feel, all your emotions etc? Try www.livejournal.com for an online journal which you can make secure so that no one else can read it. Also look here www.writingthejourney.com/ for useful tips on journal writing. One more thing before I head off into the kitchen - please do not misunderstand this or take it the wrong way as I am in no way suggesting that you have this - but - read up multiple personality disorder. The reason I am suggesting this for you is because, obviously something is going on inside of your mind which is causing you a lot of physical sexual problems which in turn is causing you emotional stress too and a great deal of anxiety because there is no quick fix to the problems. One aspect of multi personality disorder treatment is allowing yourself the freedom to explore your own mind and all its faults, emotions and traumas with someone else. It strikes me that the treatment of MPD is in keeping with what the center may be hoping will work for you as well when trying to get to the bottom of your phobia and the physical reactions, clenching of muscles etc. So forearmed is forewarned as it were. Read about the treatment of MPD. It may ring true for you you just never know. Princess
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