67c5ab35_Female_Sexuality___2005_Topics__Post_Text
[Topic ID] 92 [Post ID] 507 [Date & Time] 2005-09-08 20:37:43 [Post Text] 
Hi, I honestly have been on both sides of the coin here. When living with someone, it is an immense turn off if my lover was talking about the things they liked or wanted me to do or worse still, how they needed me to do those things. This is because after a while things just were not allowed to just happen naturally. They felt forced and I, whilst enjoyed sex with that person up to a point, found there was something missing for me. Whilst not living with someone, again, to me, it is a huge turn off if the other person is talking about or giving the impression that they are excited about the sexual side of the relationship. Putting too much emphasis on it. I love all the flirting, the teasing from afar, but as soon as that person starts talking about how much they need for me to do this or that, or they ask me what I want them to do to me, I get turned off. My mind then switches off and whilst I still want to be with that person, sex becomes a run of the mill thing where I simply go through the motions and am not bothered either way. I dont quite know why this is really. I think it is because I like the passion and spontinaity of the unplanned experience. Making love and pleasing my lover should be a pleasure not a chore. It should never be about feeling obligated or obliged to do things just because the other person is saying that is what they want. Discussion about what we like, what we might like to try together and experience together are different and can happen over dinner casually. But as soon as I feel that the other person wants or needs this more than I do, it turns me off. You mention that one of your fantasies is to be completely controlled. That is interesting. I used to think that was a brilliant idea. I tried it and loved it. However, I quickly came to realise that it was the being caught up in the passion and lust with my partner was so much more fun and that was what was missing in the first place. Sometimes, fantasies should remain just that, a fantasy. Glad you are pleased with the group and thanks for posting :) Princess
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