6cfc5ad9_tmas_Gifts___CollegeHumor_Post__To_the_guy
[The gift] A diamond bracelet [To the girl] You're not quite ready to settle down, but you're still very much in love. [To the guy] 
The circumference of this bracelet is exactly how fat she can get before her ass is dumped.
The Meaning Of Christmas Gifts - CollegeHumor Post
To the guy