39fd71f7__the_fuck_happened_last_night___Story
[Hide] Hide [ID] 2125 [Nickname] Scumdog0331 [Loko] 1 [Not Loko] 1 [6] Show [Story] 
I watch the game at a bar, but was only about six beers in by the end of the game. I go to the gas station in Richland, IA (home of?no one really), the only flavor of Four Loko they have is grape. (Remember this, you will be tested on it later). I buy two. I cracked open my first can, and the flavor did not remind me of grape. ?Canned Ass? seems like a better name. We go to a bar in Eldon, IA (Home of the ?American Gothic? house!). If anyone knows anything about Eldon, you know this was a bad idea. Commence time traveling. Here?s what I can piece together from multiple reports: I brought my rugby cleats in to try to get everyone to ?Shoot the Boot,? no one did it, it probably didn?t help that? I was apparently shirtless most of the night. In fact, I was shirtless so long that I actually lost my shirt and the bartender had to give me another one. (Note: Why was I shirtless? I?m 6?0" 300lbs, I have ?Corn Fed? tattooed TuPac ?Thug Life? style across my gut, and there is universal humor in a naked fat man.) I tried to start a ?fat man wet t-shirt contest? by pouring a pitcher of beer on myself, no one else wanted to play. Here?s what I know from the following morning: I woke up on my friend?s couch cuddling his Rottweiler. My debit card was gone. I was covered in change. I had no cash nor change when I left the bar in Richland. (Perhaps I used my debit card to get cash, then immediately converted the cash to change, and there were multiple denominations, then used the change as confetti in celebration of the fat man wet t-shirt contest.) My pants were FILTHY! My knee was bleeding, yet my pants were not harmed, which means that I fell on my knee, with my pants off, at some point in the night. I had sent over 60 text messages, mostly such insightful stuff as ?I luv yooo,? ?what is my name,? ?it?s so awful,? and ?W0000000!? Finally, and I told you that you?d be tested, another unexpected surprise was that the 4 loko had turned my poop blue. In summation, I?m doing it again next weekend, WHO?S WITH ME?!?!?!?!
Four Loko Stories dot com - What the fuck happened last night?
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