c3b7f127_gnosticators_and_Party_Poopers__Opinions
[Name] Duke of O [Blog/Website] Null Signifier [Decisions/Predictions] Will add fuel to the F2P/Sub debate for months to come. Skyrim purists will hate the game. MMO purists will hate the game. Tobold will straddle the middle ground, and then ask meekly, “Should I play this game?” while having no intent to do so as a way to drum up blogging traffic. He will also initiate more flame wars with Richard Bartle by calling him “self-referential” rather than “narcissistic”. Hackers will find a way to fly with the Elder Scrolls, prompting hundreds of awed player to flood fan sites with requests as to where this particular skill can be found. Gold sellers will spam Cyrodiil general chat with discount gold and power levelling services, proving once again, that in the end, the gold farmers always win. The first Emperor will be someone either pre-pubescent or unemployed. Hail the Emperor! The second Emperor will be found dead in an Internet cafe, having tragically overdosed on Red Bull, instant noodles and Burger Rings. The Aldmeri Dominion will try to hold a solemn in-game funeral but the ceremony will be crashed by Ebonheart Pact forces who got lost on their way to an objective due to Team Speak issues. Much hand-wringing and forum flaming ensues. In the meantime, the Daggerfall Covenant takes advantage of all the commotion and crowns the third Emperor. The third Emperor will be a Korean WCS Starcraft 2 player on a sabbatical, and he illustrates the gulf between normal players and tournament players by killing everyone in Cyrodiil. On a non-gaming mouse. Left handed. Gevlon will declare TESO solely for morons and slackers and continue to push for harsher death penalties in EVE Online as a way of increasing subs and welcoming newbies to New Eden. The most popular names will be Nerevar or Dovakhiin, or derivatives thereof. Coming a close second will be LeetPvP, Ipwnubitches or Noobslayer. A character named James will be banned for using a name that doesn't conform to role-playing conventions. An overzealous feminist writer will get offended at the representation of the Khajit, declaring indignantly that “pussies don’t wear armour like that.” Male misogynists will counter “Oh hell yes they do” and then spam comments on the feminists website, using the rationale that if they use enough gibberish no one will be able to engage in any real debate. PvErs will demand that Cyrodiil be turned into a voluntary flagging area because they hate PvP. PvPers will demand that that the starting areas be turned into PvP zones because they hate PvE. Zenimax will ignore both parties, then release a new Malukah video as a way of soothing the unruly mob. “Beware, beware, the Dragonborn comes…” WoW will shamelessly rip off the Cyrodiil idea in their own world PvP zone come the next expansion and show that when it comes to keeping the money flowing in, they are the undisputed masters of the MMO genre. Belghast wants TESO to succeed because he loves the MMO genre. Scree wants TESO to fail because he loves the MMO genre. My cat took a piss because it loves the MMO genre. THE DAGGERFALL COVENANT WILL PWN ALL. The Aldmeri Dominion and the Ebonheart Pact will try but fail miserably. Yeah, bitches. Sup. [Source] Blog 11 Mar 2014 [Opinions] 
TWO THUMBS UP!!! I've tried other MMOs. But this one is the best! Before I played TESO no girl would look twice at me. Now I have to beat them off with a stick! Thank you TESO! TESO will lower your blood cholesterol and keep you regular! It will also keep your skin smooth as silk, while removing disfiguring acne and blemishes. Better than SEX!
Null Signifier: Letters from Tamriel, Part I - Prophets, Prognosticators and Party-Poopers
Opinions