0a3905d5_e_Smoker_s_Memorial___Page_Two__Our_Memorial_Remembrance
[#] 17 [Date] 04/01/06 [Our Memorial Remembrance] 
I am Merrelyn Hughes 63, widow. I am a widow twice after watching my husbands struggle for every breath. Chester Hughes died of lung cancer at 71 - 3 packs a day for over 50 years. It was a horrible last two years as I watched the man I loved the most die, my friend and lover of 20 years. Then I remarried in April of last year to Claude McDlain and I watched him die of cancer of the lung on January 10. And then there is me, on my walker with oxygen, struggling for every breath with a cigarette in one hand. Sometimes I feel in my stupidity that I deserve to blow myself up. I would like to put a sign on my walker that says cigarettes caused this and walk thru schools. You can't imagine what it costs Medicare and Champus to keep me alive. I have grandchildren, great-grandchildren and friends. There is a life out there I want to share in but I am afraid it is to late. I also have a 2.25 spot on the lung which I refuse to allow them to biopsy. I also have diabetes, asthma, emphysema, congestive heart failure, and legs that won't hold me up. No breath to walk with, unable to clean my house any longer, I need constant help. IF ONLY I HAD NEVER SMOKED, IF ONLY I COULD QUIT, I AM SCARED, MY FAMILY HAS BEGGED AND I HAVEN'T LISTENED. PLEASE DON'T SMOKE. IT IS PURE AGONY TO LIVE WITH THE RESULTING DISEASE, AND SO DEPRESSING THAT I COULD HAVE KEPT THIS FROM HAPPENING. PLEASE, DON'T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO YOU. Merrelyn Hughes Huachuca City, Arizona
The Smoker's Memorial - Page Two
Our Memorial Remembrance