67c5ab35_Female_Sexuality___2005_Topics__Post_Text
[Topic ID] 159 [Post ID] 779 [Date & Time] 2005-11-07 15:40:05 [Post Text] 
Hello all. Im a 26 year old woman living in the UK. I found the clitoris.com via one of the vaginismus support groups I am a member of and found it to be a real eye-opener. I think every young person should read that site and every older person too for that matter. I have passed it around to no end of people. Anyway, to the main point. As I already mentioned, I'm a woman who is lucky enough to be lumbered with vaginismus. I suffered in silence since I found out at 22 and, only earlier this year, did I seek help after joining the groups and finally talking to other sufferers. I've only had one BF and that only lasted 6 months, I called it off, not him. We weren't compatible generally and& I found myself wanting to avoid any situation that might lead up to another attempt at sex and we argued about that a lot. I don't think he realised what I was trying to avoid.& I knew what it was I was suffering from because I had read about it previously but went into denial about it so I couldn't discuss it with him and he thought it was just nerves and that it would work out of we kept trying. Since then, I have been too scared to date anyone else because of this condition. I don't, and never have, desired to have children. I'm much better with animals and don't even like babies very much but not many blokes will stick around if there is no intercourse, like it or lump it. I know it says a woman shouldn't be oblicated in the clit.com website but try telling most blokes that. Also, it is something I would like to be able to do for me, I want to, at least, feel what it's like. I'm on the pill because I had too many problems with periods before, I got all the physical symptoms, not the mood swings though, and& I got em bad. I used to feel crap every month and really wouldn't want to go back to that so I stayed on the pill. I recently bought a set of dilators with four sizes and can insert the first two but used to practise with my fingers before that and can insert up to two although it's tight and a bit uncomfortable. I have no probs with masturbation and orgasm and can have over 20 orgasms in one session, not uncommon actually, I never settle with just one, I got greedy, I suppose. I usually make myself have at least 15 before I'll finish but, on the couple of occasions when I decided to count to see how many I was having, I counted 21 the first time and 26 the second...phew, I didn't know I was having that many, haha. if only I didn't have this dratted vag and sexual aversion and I'd be well away. I've started with therapy now at a clinic that specializes in sexual dysfunctions, just talking, nothing physical so far although I'm not sure what future treatment I'll get. I've been twice and have to go every two weeks. I've never had a successful smear test, I tried to have one but the speculum made me feel like& I was being split in two and the nurse couldn't open it up to take the swab so we had to abort. That was a horrible horrible experience. I've never gone back for another attempt. I've never been sexually abused or anything but I was picked on a lot at school, made to feel ugly and inadequate and lads never fancied me although people tell me now that I am attractive, I still feel that inadequacy and can't seem to shake it off. I'm also a compulsive skin picker as a result of my depression and anxiety. It stemmed from acne and wanting rid of the spots and then escalated to a plain obsession with squeezing stuff out of my skin so& I make myself look a mess by doing that and can't stop even though I know it will make a mess. Big question is, what would most of the blokes in this forum say and think if they started dating a woman who, after a few dates, informed them she had vaginismus and that intercourse was impossible for her, at least for the time being until she got it cured and the time taken to cure this can vary from weeks to years. Would you be able to handle it ok or would you run in the opposite direction? I know that if a bloke did run, he wouldn't be worth it but my self image is low enough as it is, I'm not sure if I could cope with an emotional blow like that. Would you also be willing, if you did stick around, to take part in the treatment of it, attend therapy with the woman, join in during dilating sessions, things like that? Anyway, this is getting a little long now. I'll be glad for any replies and will answer any other questions you might ask as well as I can. Thanks for reading.
The-Clitoris.com - Old Discussion Forum From 2005 to 2009: Female Sexuality - 2005 Topics
Post Text