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Best Mother Taught Me Joke, Rude Mother Taught Me Jokes, Short Mother Taught Me Jokes Mother Taught Me My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - ""If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"" My mother taught me RELIGION - ""You better pray that will come out of the carpet."" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - ""If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"" My mother taught me LOGIC - ""Because I said so, that's why."" My Mother taught me more LOGIC - ""If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."" My mother taught me FORESIGHT - ""Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."" My mother taught me IRONY - ""Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."" My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - ""Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"" My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST - ""Will you ""look"" at the dirt on the ba
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